#but UGH it has issues

[legobiwan]

We need to talk about this. And I'm going to start right off with a contentious claim:

Ford was willing to gamble the fate of his entire dimension to feed his ego and insecurities and Bill had him pegged from Square One.

This sounds like a harsh statement. It kind of is. When we first meet Ford in the show, all we end up learning from him is that restarting the Portal was dangerous and could (and did) create a rift that would open the door for Bill and his gang to end the world. And Ford pins this entirely on Stanley, excoriating him for not listening to his warnings in the journals and doing whatever he wanted, like a set of monkeys flinging shit at walls until he happened to get it correct.

Ford is a highly unreliable narrator. After all, as Stan rightfully said, who built the portal in the first place?

But we need to go deeper.

In Journal 3, Ford speaks to the necessity of hiding his journals, which he - to be quite honest - does a crappy job of. Why keep two out of the three journals in Gravity Falls, a mere hair's breath from the actual Portal, which for some mysterious reason, Ford has declined to - you know - actually destroy? Why bury the Journals near an elementary school with children - children who tend to be curious creatures and can and will find a way to discover what they shouldn't? Why call on your estranged brother who you claim to despise as an absolute last resort? Ford's narrative, if you really start to analyze it, makes zero sense. And it makes zero sense because it's an edifice, a personal mythology meant to be a bulwark against the horrible truth of Ford's motivations.

"I've stared at the fire, journals in hand, for hours. I just can't do it. The knowledge in here could be a gift to mankind, the portal's potential limitless. Am I really going to destroy it all just out of spite? No, I won't give HIM the satisfaction. Instead of destroying my work, I'll find a way to DESTROY BILL INSTEAD. If Cipher has a weakness, I'll find it. I'll outsmart the devil yet! He may be a god, but I am a scientist."

Ford could have ended this thirty years ago if his ego hadn't gotten in the way. All he had to do was burn the journals and destroy the portal, just like every other human Bill tried to con over the years. How much did Ford actually care about the end of the world as much as he cared about Bill's betrayal and losing his earth-shattering (quite literally) research?

He didn't. And given this, is it a surprise that Bill, when he finally was able to breach dimensions and start Weirdmaggedon, still placed bets that Ford would join him in the end? The man who said, "Fuck the universe, I need everyone to know I was right."

This isn't about the possible apocalypse. Ford doesn't make one, single mention of that here, doesn't seem to give one fuck if the world burns, as long as he can prove himself to be better than Bill and better than everyone who doubted him for all his life.

And this is why, I am certain, that when Bill perused Ford's possible futures, a large majority ended up with Ford turning to the dark side, as it were.

There's a reason Ford pulled these journal pages. They don't fit his self-constructed narrative of the heroic martyr who wants to save the world. Ford edits his own story again and again, pushing everyone away so they won't see just how insecure and absolutely desperate for validation he is.

Sound like someone we know? Maybe a yellow triangle who literally outlines the steps to denial in his teenage angst journal?

Bill, in essence, promised Ford the universe. Yes, literally, but also the universe in terms of what Ford always wanted - recognition and revenge. Ford, by not destroying the Portal or his journals, didn't 100% reject this proposal, even if that equivocation was subconscious. It's why - I think - Bill feels Ford's just put him "on read" after he fell through the Portal (according to Alex Hirsch).

Ford's going to have to come to terms with this. Maybe he did during his time in the Portal. We have no idea how much Ford did or didn't mellow while being stuck on the other side of the universe, although we do know a) he still holds a massive grudge against his brother and b) Bill is still able to play him like a lyre when he asks about the equation to pop the bubble around Gravity Falls. (And I do not for one second believe that Ford was trying to buy time when he admits that "Of course, a simple equation could collapse the barrier," when Bill questions him about it. Ford needs to prove that he knows the answer, that he figured it out, that he's a scientist and outsmarted a god. Again, if the kids and Stan hadn't come to Ford's rescue, it's very hard to say where Ford would have landed in the end).

The thing is, there's a part of Ford that realizes he's being an ass, that he needs someone. We see this with Bill, obviously, with Fiddleford in the ways Ford runs so incredibly hot and cold with the man (I need you, no I don't need you) - with Stan, who is a last resort but the only person Ford trusts enough to summon to Oregon. Because Ford didn't need Stan to destroy the journals or the portal - but he needed someone, maybe he needed a dollar-store Bill in his life, maybe he just needed someone to reach out like that. Ford fucks it up, wildly, as he can't let his ego go and allow Stan (who is being extremely practical, if bitter) to burn the journals like Ford should have weeks previous.

And well, we all know how that turned out.

What I'm curious about - and what I think needs to be covered more in fandom - is how Ford deals with all of this post-Weirdmaggedon. He's obviously in contrition mode at this point, swinging wildly to this penitent, self-abusing figure who will claim fault for the tiniest infraction.

That's not going to last him long. The type of change and self-reflection Ford needs is not going to come overnight. At some point, his uglier tendencies are going to rear their head on the Stan O'War and Stan is going to have to weather the blowback (or just throw his brother overboard). One might say Ford himself needs a little time the Theraprism, as he nearly consigned his own reality to damnation just like Bill did.

I love Ford. I adore Ford. He is so, so, so complicated. But ohhh boi, Fordsy, do you have issues with a Capital "I".

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[fishyartist]

Ui idea tests, thrown together bc im eepy. Was planning on doing more but I spent all my days energy on the second one oops

[flydinom]

He's very fun at parties..

inspired by @okultraoldmanyaoi 's (and someone else I think but I can't remember their username) take on gary's breakdowns (i cant stop thinking about that since i saw that post)

[dukeofthomas]

why does every reconciliation fic go like this

[spaceumbredoggos]

Horny aroaces exist. And for me, it’s frustrating. Since I feel no sexual attraction and don’t really know how to masturbate without feeling like I have to pee, I try to fantasize about sex be g forced on me because I can’t fathom initiating the horny myself. Basically, the only way I would actually fuck is if it were a fuck or die situation. I’m sex positive aroace. I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction. I have to consciously initiate sexual desire in myself, and I’ve done so for years thinking it’s the only way I’ll be normal. I read all the dub/noncon Bill Cipher x Reader fics in AO3 and Tumblr just to feel a little bit of desire. And any time I try to initiate desire and sexual feelings, I feel like I have to pee and it’s uncomfortable. Also, hypnosis. Anything to do with hypnosis does it. And it feels so uncomfortable that o try to force myself to like it.

[sliipppy]

Being a huge fan of 2009 era of batman comics but also a huge cassandra cain fan. it's hard out here.

[sallymew4]

kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once

im not even joking btw

bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^

[mrspark7777777]

I just can't wrap my head around why taehyung would do this 😭😭 like I love him soo much but these days I'm kinda seeing what ot2 jkkrs say about him. posting suddenly about his travel with jungkook long back right around the time of jikooks travel show with such lovey dovey captions..it's a little awkward? like I love taekook idk whether I can convince you of that as I myself am a jikooker lol. but him not even posting about jimins album, or even when leaving for military he only wished jk a safe trip ..it's not like Tae is an offline person he's definitely posting this for the fans to see as well right? so why is his love only reserved for jk (and wooga squad ) and never for his "soulmate" who's always out there promoting his albums as well.

And (bit of a stretch here) why is he doing all this when jk never returns this energy back to him. Like it feels a bit one sided.

I know it's just sm and they all love each other ...well ig I just needed to vent. Will be feeling guilty of all these thoughts tomorrow for sure 😅😅

He he heee... something has been up for a long time now. People are just in denial. Idk how many times he has to take away the attention from Jimin for People to finally see the fucking pattern here!

And like- yeah, alot of people are pissed about the Jimin hate but I'm not even thinking about that. Jimin will always get hate regardless. So my problem is with the freaking timing. Idc about him posting, idc about them hanging out, idc that JK went to see him (which btw I'd bet 100 pounds that caption was embelished) tkkrs are literally the last thing on my mind coz the dumbasses aren't gonna put 2 n 2 together seeing as that was the time period when Jimin was busy. Whatever.

My one and only issue is that V be doing Jimin dirty over and over and that's on period. And this is coming from a person who likes the dude. I genuinely think he doesn't like to see Jimin flourishing. Idk if that's the case, but that's what this post is giving.

He had a million chances to share this, right? Like maybe when it isn't about Jimin? Or maybe... maybe when his own stuff dropped not too long ago. Right? Right?

[camels-pen]

the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?

Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.

Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.

With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.

So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

Vanitas infodumping about vampires will forever live rent free in my head

[lunar-years]

I think it’s *ahem* interesting that the same portion of the fandom that understands how Ted’s poor mental health and under-addressed trauma negatively impact his life and worsen his decision making also tend to treat Dottie Lasso like she’s the devil incarnate who’s single-handedly destroyed her son and his wellbeing. There’s this group of fans who both acknowledge Ted’s mental health journey as an imperative part of his arc and journey (which it is!) and excuse a lot of his behavior, particularly when it comes to the ways in which his mental health at its worst inarguably lessens his ability to be a present and effective parent to his son. They actively encourage him NOT to return home to son because “he finally has the chance to prioritize himself and needs to take it” or whatever, then turn around and say Dottie’s an irredeemably horrible evil witch who spends her time manipulating Ted and toying with his feelings. Ignoring completely that she’s also a women with a heck of a lot of under addressed trauma who’s gone without the resources to help herself and presumably also carries the baggage of growing up under a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality. Which is not to say I don’t think a lot of Dottie does is net bad/harmful! It totally is! And Ted is 100% in the right for confronting her and calling her out for the ways in which her inability to discuss what happened to their family has longterm fucked with his head. I just also think Dottie is also in the right for calling out Ted and the net negative effect his absence is having on Henry.

The thing about that scene is that they are both simultaneously wrong and right! But what makes it an effective conversation is that hell, at least now they’re talking about it! And airing out their baggage (hopefully) jumpstarts a positive change for both of them to do better for one another and their wider family. Because yes, I do think the conversation with Dottie contributed to Ted’s decision to return home…but unlike others, I think that is a good thing! The end of Ted’s story on the show is that he’s gotten the help Dottie never did (either because she didn’t know those resources were available to her, or the stigma around mental health dissuaded her, or whatever) and he’s all the better for it! By showing up in London, I do think there’s evidence that Dottie is also trying. Like sure, yes, she’s often misguided and faulty in her efforts. But she and Ted are much more similar than they are different. Both do a ton of masking to hid their own problems. Both are two imperfect people who made decisions they *thought* were right for their children only to later realize they’d fallen short as parents. And I think by the end of Mom City it’s safe to say that both are people who want to recognize their failings as parents and rectify what they can.

So yeah Dottie Lasso they could never make me hate you. Or whatever.

[notbecauseofvictories]

so on one hand, the past 2-3 weeks have been murder---I didn't go to book club, I didn't go to any of the history lectures I signed up for; I went to election judge training and then went home; had exactly one conversation with my best friend. (Which, she called me, so.) Every other moment of every day has been spent working. I'm not....miserable, but if it doesn't let up soon, I am going to be.

on the other hand, when my boss comments on how I seem down, I seem tired, I'm not wearing fun earrings like I usually do---it does take everything in me to relax and not react with defensiveness, because yes, I am exhausted, and showing her this is the best way to communicate that I need her to hire more support. But oh my god I hate it so, so much.

[gingermintpepper]

❄️

For you!!

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing. 

Oough, thank you very much for participating!! I thought a lot about what I should offer and eventually settled on this snippet from my very self indulgent Apollo/Evadne work teehee: 

“So you returned.” 

The stranger laughs, “As have you.”

Lo, he sits on the edge of the riverbank, his smooth, even-coloured ankles submerged in the cool water, the fabric of his skirt folded up above his knees. Somehow, the stranger’s gotten even more beautiful since she last saw him; gone are his loose, lovely curls which lay amaranth kisses onto his shoulders and neck, now they are bound atop his head and adorned with many petalled flowers. Likewise, his already flawless face now shines with the faint gloss of cosmetics. A deep blue colour stains his lips and the corners of his eyes. It matches the splendour of his blue skirt, makes her triply assured that this stranger is no mere man, but some visiting prince or king passing through. It is the only reason one such as him would ever willingly spend time with a creature like her. 

Evadne clutches her veil tight as she stands beside him, makes certain that there is no way for a sudden wind to worry her cloth and reveal her shame. The stranger’s skin is so gorgeous, rich like a polished gem and just as smooth as its surface. Evadne’s never known a man so hairless! But then, the stranger has surely never known a woman like her either. 

“Are you just going to laze about the edge today?” she says. They’re idle words, spoken just so she stops moping about when she’s got perfectly good company at hand. Gods alone know when she’ll ever have such a thing again. “It’s sweltering today, you’ll feel greater relief if you stick more than your toes into the water, sir.” 

He laughs again, soft and calm. A quiet wind bustles over the water’s surface, he raises a fine-fingered hand to brace against the breeze. The silver bangles looped about his wrist make a melodious clatter as they settle one atop the other around the broad flesh of his arm. “I’ve no intention of disturbing you again. Just as I promised, your river is yours once more.” 

His voice is just so… magical. Like music, or birdsong. Like some pleasant thing Evadne wishes she could hear forever. “I already told you, I am no nymph, good sir.” The very idea is just as ridiculous as the first time he said such a thing. As if a nymph’s spring would ever be so pitiful. As if Evadne would ever be allowed in the same waters as a lovely nymph! “I’m merely a maiden who wishes to bathe in peace. That is all I ever was.” 

“Is that so?” Those calm eyes appraise her then, dark gaze roaming over each part of her fabric covered body ‘til Evadne is warm in the cheeks and hot all over. “When we were together last, you surely were— “

“W-What about you?” Evadne can hardly think past the heat in her face, the pounding of her stupid heart in her chest. 

Miraculously, the stranger stops. “What about me?” 

She squeezes her eyes shut, too shamed to even look at him when she speaks, “You praise my beauty when you have never even seen my face, but certainly with a face like yours, you must be a son of Desire or Beauty?”

The sweet wind blows. The river softly babbles on. Evadne slowly pries her eyes open and meets the grinning face of the stranger, beryl-bright eyes positively aglow with humour.

“You find me that good-looking, hm?” 

She takes a step back, hands covering her eyes over her veil so she doesn’t have to look at the mess she created, “Maybe not quite that handsome— “

“‘A son of the Beauty’, was it? Such high praise. I’ll treasure it always.” 

“Please forget such foolish words at once, sir!"

[potionwine]

Thinking about my girl Benna again.

Her final moments tore at me; the stone-cold terror and certainty underlying the hysteria in her ramblings about Barnabas, followed by the sinking despair and yawning regret about Cid—her two most important people, who both failed her, as she in her way failed herself.

All her pride and self-deception giving way right before the end.

She knew. She knew. The instant she stopped lying to herself it was obvious she always saw Barnabas and Cid clearly. That one would discard her immediately upon her loss of value she did not doubt, that the other only ever wanted good things for her, in spite of her perception of being abandoned by him, was the final truth she admitted only upon losing everything.

Benna is the character Cid and I most wanted to save. The game never even gave us the opportunity, Benna herself didn't give us the opportunity, but I refuse to believe she is slave to her fate. She's wounded and difficult but so clever and stubborn and her spirit remains mad fierce through it all. There must be an AU where she can be saved; there must be an AU where she decides to save herself, where she consents to be saved. Because I love her, I cannot help but think this, with more foolish hope than rational belief; and that makes me wonder how many years Cid thought this too.

Maybe he, like me, could never truly fully give up on saving her—I say, enraged and possessed, to the damned word document that will make it happen.

[authenticcadence18]

Twice this week I have received comments on Can’t Help Falling in Love critiquing my use of tags and I’m just like?

those “extra” tags have been there for four years? no im not going to delete them?? I think if it truly was a big issue one of my moots/writer friends would’ve brought it up to me by now???

I use tags to express my creative voice and personality. And I DO include lots of real tags.

if someone makes something FOR FREE and it’s not harmful maybe just say what you like about it and move on?

like? do yall like my tags?? have my tags dissuaded you from checking out my stuff??? because I’ve been posting on ao3 since 2019 and this is the first time anyone has ever brought it up :/