#but Rae is a damn powerful human | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nutteu · 1 year ago

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chin up, darling, we’ll wreck this world [Chapter II]

[AO3 Chapter I] [AO3 Chapter II]

The thing about storms was that everyone could predict that. Everyone could garner what they had from their surroundings, aided by technology and old-age knowledge of what to look for. They prepared themselves, they readied their bearings, they waited for the storm to hit and dealt with the aftermath. It was something they could prepare for, but it was also something entirely unavoidable.

But another thing about storms was that while they could predict it, they couldn’t know when exactly it would hit, and how much of a damage it would wreak upon them. They could be sheltered under their roofs all they wanted, they could be buried underneath a mountain of blankets, be safe behind a fortress—but then the storm hit, they would still be left in shambles. The storm would rip out all their roofs, destroy their fortress, and left them cold and shivering in the ruin it left behind.

The curfew was in place, everyone was advised not to approach stranger and always have companions everywhere; they were advised to have means of protection to fend off the hostile unknowns. But how could they be safe when the night wasn’t the problem? How could they be safe if they didn’t know which was human and which was the monster? How could they be safe when those monsters were stronger, faster, more vicious than them?

How could they be ready for the storm when they were standing right underneath a brewing one?

It was a peaceful day when the end of the world came upon them, much like the way there was calm before the storm. And much like the storm, it hurled them in a whirlwind of harsh current and torn them to shreds in its brutality, in its inevitability.

Toast was sitting along with his friends, a rare day for them all to be relaxed and chatting amiably amongst each other; to let up a little from the fear that had gripped them tightly in its talons. Corpse was working on a new song, and he was planning to record it himself. Tina was waiting for her graduation in a couple of days, and they had agreed to come to congratulate her. Janet was finally getting her days off after exhausting night shifts several weeks in a row. Peter was making new designs for his plushies. Rae was about to be a shareholder of the company that she streamed under. Edison and Leslie were planning to have a private wedding in their house instead of the venue they had wanted beforehand.

Toast himself was taking a break. He couldn’t handle the stress of hearing about the atrocity around him day in and day out. He couldn’t even imagine what Jimmy was feeling, knowing that he was in deeper in the case than Toast was. He was thinking of maybe resigning from his workplace. Sure, the money had been good these days, but his mental stability had undergone through a lot of things. He couldn’t stop worrying about his family, about the future, about the unknown.

This was a good thing to have, something mundane amidst the amounting panic around them, inside themselves. Frankly speaking, Toast didn’t know how would he handle it if he were to meet one of those monsters. He would just probably die on the spot. Those things were powerful, and fast, and vicious. They wouldn’t stop until they had their fill. No one knew anything about them, and the police force was in confusion as to how to answer the questions from the media about the appearance of those monsters. All they could say was to be cautious.

Being cautious wouldn’t cut it, however. Not in the face of such unnatural force, in the face of the impossible. Those things could infect people, have them come back from the dead to become one of them. How were they supposed to fight that?

Maybe it was human’s ignorance, maybe it was fear, maybe it was denial. But despite the cases, despite the damning evidence, despite the very real nightmare they were living in, life continued as if nothing happened. As long as they could pretend that they weren’t about to be swallowed by the harsh wave of the tsunami, they would continue as if they could live forever.

That was a laughable fantasy, however. One, that would be trounced down in just a moment, faster than they could anticipate, faster than they could blink, crueler than they would have thought.

Toast was waiting for their food, playing with Janet’s fingers as Tina chattered on about Rae’s new photoshoot while Rae herself was smiling widely from how excited the younger woman was being. Corpse was humming along, throwing a remark or two. They were content; dare he say, they were happy. They would eat their food, chat some more, and then they would be back home before the curfew.

Before he could even reassure himself of all of that, however, a toe-curling scream pierced through the air.

In just a heartbeat, Toast’s breath was caught in his throat. His stomach twisted as his mind ran through possibilities. He immediately stood up from his seat, to see what the commotion was about. It was then, that he realized, that the storm had arrived, bearing monsters of the unknown and condemnation of humanity with it.

The waiter fell to the ground even before they all could react. Once everyone realized what was happening, the screams arose once more. Toast turned back to his friends; eyes wide in panic. He had seen the monster—no, there was more than one of them, and they had infiltrated the restaurant. Now that he was aware of the situation, he could hear more panicked screams outside.

“Up,” he said, firm and strict. “Get up, now. We have to go.”

“What- what’s happening?” Tina asked, voice small and trembling as Corpse ushered her from her seat. “Toast? What—”

“They’re here,” he said shortly, and held Janet’s hand as he led them all through the door of the restaurant. It was hard, everyone was screaming and running from their life. His heart was in his throat when he saw one of the monsters grabbed at someone next to him, narrowly missing Janet and his friends. “Faster! Run faster!”

One by one, people around them fell to the ground. The more people were dead, the more they heard the growl of the creatures amidst the dying screams. It spurred their legs on, made them push through the throng of people, through the panic that had seized their hearts. Once they were out in the streets, however, they were left staring at the shamble it was in.

Those creatures were everywhere, and they wouldn’t go down. There were police officers shouting for the citizens to run, to take cover behind them as they tried to shoot the creatures. But they only stumbled, and charged at the officers instead. Guns didn’t work, Toast took a quick note inside his mind, thinking hard and fast as to how to get the hell out of here when the streets were too crowded to travel with their cars. They had to run, and find somewhere to hide, fast.

“Come one,” he said. “Let’s go. There’s a warehouse of my company around here. We have to get there. No matter what you see, no matter what you hear, just run.”

His friends were paralyzed in fear, but they nodded at him nonetheless. It didn’t feel real, it must have been not real. This all was a dream, a nightmare. It was just impossible to think about, how the fear that they had been feeling, ghosting around their heads, their hearts, had finally surged their claws to tear them to pieces. This wasn’t real; the way those monsters were just in the same room as them, the way people were dying left and right, the way everything was in chaos, the way they were trapped with no way out of this reality. This—this was real.

He was so focused on navigating the crowded streets, so focused on keeping the number of his friends intact, that he couldn’t see it when he was suddenly slammed to the wall of one of the shops lining the streets. Toast groaned out loudly; his head was dizzy, and he could feel blood in his mouth from how hard the hit was. Janet screamed as their interlinked hands were disconnected, but Toast was too out of it to properly comprehend what was happening.

But when he felt a weight dropping on him, cold fingers wrapping around his neck, his heart was rioting against its cage as reality descended upon him. He fought his dizziness to see, and got his breath caught in his throat when he was faced with the most horrifying face he had seen. The flesh around the face of the creature had decayed, slivers of bones showing through the rotten skin, sharp fangs and bloody white lips opened up in a shriek. He wanted to close his eyes, to pretend that this wasn’t happening, that he wasn’t about to die right this second. But fear kept his eyes open, made his body freeze despite how many times he was telling it to move.

The grip around his neck was painful, and he couldn’t breathe right, couldn’t think right. He was aware that his breath came out in terrifying squeeze, as he waved away his hand as best as he could. “R-Run,” he choked out. “Run!”

Out of the corner of his unfocused eyes, he saw that his friends, that Janet was still standing there, eyes wide in panic and fear as they watched their friend got captured by one of the monsters. He closed his eyes finally. They were going to die. He was right, he didn’t know how to defend himself against this inhumane strength, and his friends soon would follow him to the afterlife because they couldn’t run fast enough to evade the attack.

What a way to end a joke, huh?

As the grip on his throat started to crush his windpipe, as his consciousness was teetering on the edge, as he had accepted his fate with grim resignation, there was a gunshot heard, and the creature shrieked loudly, spitting out thick, gooey saliva all over Toast’s face. The grip was still there, but it loosened a little. Toast tried to heave a breath, two, and then more when there were gunshots heard again. The creature stumbled from him, and moved to chase its attacker, leaving Toast alone as he coughed harshly.

“Get away from here! Quick!” a man clad in police officer attire screamed at them, still shooting futilely at the creature advancing on him.

Toast was utterly disoriented, his visions dotted with black spot from how hard his neck was gripped in crushing strength. There were hands helping him to get up, and he faintly recognized Edison’s and Peter’s voice next to him. He couldn’t hear clearly what they were saying, only that he was suddenly draped onto a curved surface, and two strong hands heaving him up. He was being carried.

“Pe…ter?” he called out with difficulty.

“Toast!” Peter exclaimed. “Oh, thank fucking God you’re alive. Hang in there buddy, we can’t read your mind and we don’t know where this warehouse of yours is.”

He chuckled, delirious from pain and lack of air. Classic Peter, always spouting off jokes even in the direst situation. Good to know that humor hadn’t eluded them even in the pressure of the mass panic. He tried to gather his wit, thinking of the route, and nearly slapped his head with his weak arms when he realized that they could have detoured a little bit to reach Peter’s house.

“No, change of plan,” he said, voice a wreck but still loud enough to be heard by Peter’s ears. “Detour, take the route near the subway station to your house. It’ll be closer, and we’re on legs anyway. We can fit in the small alleyways.”

“Roger that,” Peter nodded. “Come on,” he said to the others, “follow me. Don’t let go of each other!”

The trip was a blur in Toast’s hazy consciousness. He was faintly aware of the blood trickling from his head, into his eyes and making the left one covered in a saturation of red. There were screams, shouts of people trying to call for their family and friends, cries of the children, gunshots and sirens, screech of tires from cars trying to escape, shrieks of the creatures. He didn’t know how far they had run, only awake enough to notice that they had stopped for a moment to switch him to Edison’s back, before they were running again. He heard the muffled cries from Tina, the strained reassurance from Rae and Leslie, Corpse’s deafening silence. He thought that the end of the world was so loud, and so, so silent in its crushing inevitability.

There was no stopping this hell from consuming them all, and Toast almost laughed at how this was all was just a joke, an impossibility, just mere months ago. How something that started out as a confusing kidnapping case, could turn out into this living nightmare was beyond him. He thought of Jimmy and Jenny, suddenly, of his mother. Where were they? Were they alright?

As he lost his last grip on consciousness, he thought that they couldn’t get to that camping trip, after all.

When Toast woke up, he came to with a gasp. His mind was still trapped in the moment where it all went to hell, grappling for a sliver chance of survival. He remembered the pain when his head hit the wall of the shop, the tight grip of the creature, the shrieks and the death he had narrowly missed.

“Toast,” he heard someone called out, warm and familiar, tinged with worry. “Toast, you’re okay. You’re safe, I’m here. I’m here.”

It was Janet, and they were safe, they were safe. He relaxed into her embrace, sagging onto her once the panic left him drained and numb. He felt something covering his head tightly, and thought that it must be bandages. Had he hit his head that hard? His throat was pulsing in pain, and his left side was unbearably uncomfortable.

Once he had calmed down enough, Janet ran him through the routine of check-up. He saw his friends slowly came to be by his side one by one. Peter was smiling at him grimly. Edison and Leslie were holding each other, and Corpse—Corpse looked so painfully young and scared that Toast’s heart ached. What would happen to them after this? How could they try to survive when none of them knew how to defend themselves, let alone fight against those monsters?

“There’s no concussion, thankfully,” Janet sighed out in relief. “But you’ll get massive headache, and I would advise you not to move around too much right now.”

“Yeah,” he croaked out. “Not that I can.”

Janet chuckled lightly, caressing the side of his face with gentle fingers. “I thought I’ve lost you, back then.”

“Me too,” he said quietly.

They were all enveloped in silence. It was peaceful in this house, but it would only be time before the screams reached them. Toast suddenly grappled at his pockets, searching for his phone. When he got it out, he was dejected when he saw that it had been completely shattered. Wordlessly, Janet offered hers.

“Go on, we all have called our families,” she said.

He nodded, and dialed Jimmy’s numbers first. There was no answer. With a fear that seemed to grip tightly at his heart, he remembered that Jenny and his mother was out to Jolene’s house today. What if they got caught in the hysteria on their way? What if Jimmy was—

“Janet? Jeremy?” Jenny’s voice came through the tinny speaker, and it was as if all the strings had been cut from Toast’s body. He sagged against the cushion, boneless from relief. “Hello? Where are you two? Oh, God, it’s madness out there. Are you okay?”

“I’m alive,” he said, breathless and almost in tears from how relieved he was. He could have lost them, and he almost lost himself, too. To say that today was the worst day ever was putting it lightly. “Where’s Jimmy? I can’t reach his phone.”

“He’s here, don’t worry,” Jenny said, reassuring him. “He left his phone at the police station when he heard the news. He just came running home. We’re all safe. It’s okay.”

“I’m at Peter’s, my phone’s broken,” he told her. “We’re all safe, too. Don’t worry. I just don’t know how to get home. It might not be safe enough for now.”

“Stay there until it’s calmed down,” his sister replied, her voice gentle though there was fear evident in it. “I’d rather have you alive than recklessly trying to go back to us. We’ll be okay. Call us later, take care.”

“Yeah, take care,” he said, and the call clicked off, leaving him bereft despite knowing that his family was safe and intact. He knew that Jimmy could protect them, but he had seen what those monsters were capable of. Toast was apathetic to most things but those he had considered as his; he could care less about the people dying from the monsters. But to see those dead bodies, made him realize just how foolish he was in thinking that he was immune in his empathy. He was reminded just how easily people died, how easily he could lose his family and friends. How easily it was for him to be another prey to those monsters.

“What… what do we do now?” Corpse asked, voicing the question they all had in their heads.

“Barricade the windows and doors,” Toast said promptly. “Watch out for the news, ration our supplies, get all the makeshift weapons we can have, and be prepared for the worst.” It was easier said than done. They had eight people with them, and there was security in numbers. But none of them knew how to fight, and it would be difficult with the supplies later on. He figured that with the current situation, none of them wanted to go back to their house alone. It was better if they stuck together.

“Do you think the government will have camp for the citizens?” Rae asked, fidgeting with the sleeves of her sweater. Rae wasn’t the calmest in stressful situation; she would be agitated and restless to do something. It was good to have spirit and spite, but at times she had too much of those and it made her reckless.

Toast swallowed, remembering his discussions with Jeremy, remembering Sykkuno and how the higher-ups of the police force wanted him hunted down. What was the reason for that? Was it because he was the reason of all this chaos? Or was it because they were trying to keep his mouth shut for knowing something that no one did?

“Don’t- don’t rely too much on the government,” he finally said. “They were basically helpless when the kidnapping and the homicide cases started. I don’t see how they would benefit us in situations like this. We have to rely on ourselves first and foremost.”

“Okay, Toast,” Janet said. She held his hand in hers, and Toast was reminded that Janet was used to life and death situation. She would be able to keep her head calm in this catastrophe. He just hoped that he would be able to do the same, instead of spiraling into his bad habit of overthinking everything instead of taking concrete actions.

“We can break down my wardrobe to use as the barricade,” Peter said. “And we can still use my car in case we have to get supplies.”

“We have to withdraw our cash,” Toast said. “In case that the electricity is shot to hell. We wouldn’t be able to use our cards. And we have to get supplies soon, before the streets are full of those monsters.”

“I’m not… I’m not ready to go out so soon after- after that,” Tina said, letting out a heavy exhale. “I’m sorry. I just—that was really scary. And I’m still hoping that I’m just dreaming all of this. That this isn’t real.”

“We all are,” Edison said, uncharacteristically solemn in the situation. “We all are, Tina.”

They worked hard to barricade the windows and doors, and had gathered all the things they thought they could use as weapons—kitchen knives, crowbars, wrenches, baseball bats, the authentic spear that Peter bought for no reason, and two guns that he had with him. They all were licensed, and Toast laughed hysterically when he realized that licenses of firearms would be useless in this state of chaos. Sooner or later people would be out there murdering monsters, getting murdered themselves, or even murdering each other when the supplies were thinning.

Janet hugged him when he was laughing until there were tears forming in his eyes, when reality had finally hit him in its entirety and he was left floundering in its wake. What the hell had just happened? What the fuck could they do against those monsters? They were just regular citizens, for fuck’s sake. This was hopeless.

“Toast,” she said, aware that he was spiraling quickly. “Toast, there will be a way. We won’t know until we try. We can still try, okay? We can still do something. This isn’t the dead end.”

He didn’t nod, he just sighed and looked down at the bullets on his hands. “And how long will we try until all of us are dead?”

There was a hitch in Janet’s breath, and soon Toast heard the muffled sobs from Tina’s throat, the disappointment in Leslie’s face as he brought them all down further into the grimness of the situation. He wanted to apologize, but what he had said was right. They couldn’t run away from the truth, after all. Toast knew how to shoot a gun, and he knew that everyone but Tina and Leslie had had practice of shooting one when they had the time to go to the shooting ranges. But it had been for fun, not for survival of their lives. It wouldn’t be enough—they didn’t even know where to shoot to kill those bastards.

“Let’s have dinner first,” Peter decided, trying to diffuse the heavy cloud hanging above their heads. “And then we’ll talk about our plan.”

They had their dinner in silence, before Toast forced them all to gather in the living room. He could see that they were all exhausted from the event of the day, and his head was hurting like a particularly nasty bitch, but he needed to do this, lest he’d be spiraling even further in his mind. They planned on getting the supplies from nearby supermarket tomorrow. Edison, Peter, Corpse, and Rae would go. Toast was still injured, Tina was still too scared to go out, and Leslie and Janet would be the ones defending the house while they were gone.

The only way to go out of Peter’s house was now through his garage, since everywhere was already barricaded. They didn’t want to risk any chances. They packed for tomorrow, talked about what sort of things to get to make makeshift weapons, maybe going into a gun store if they still had the time and the situation was safe enough for them to go.

“If you meet one of them, run,” Toast said the next morning. “Whatever you do, just run. Don’t look back. Get back as soon as possible. Always have your weapons ready and don’t lose sight of each other. Call us when you’re close to the house. We’ll be ready there so you can have fast in and out. Be careful.”

“Okay,” Edison said, clapping Toast’s back firmly. “You get some rest. We’ll call you if something happened.”

There were dark circles underneath their eyes, and Toast knew it was because none of them slept restfully. He had woken up from nightmares twice, and then twice more because his headache was killing him. Janet was always there to take care of him, but it still pained Toast to hear Tina’s soft snuffles of cries, Leslie’s and Edison’s reassuring whispers to each other. They were in this hell together, but he wondered still if they could get out of it without being burned to husk.

They had gotten into the car, and Leslie and Toast had closed the garage door as fast as they could. They couldn’t wait around for the automatic closing; it’d take too long and something might slip in if they weren’t careful. There were four people in the house right now, and not a single one of them knew what the hell they should be doing. Tina was still shaken, and Janet had gone to talk with her. So Toast joined Leslie on the couch as she watched the news raptly.

“Anything new?” he asked.

“It’s chaos,” she murmured. “The incident yesterday is reported everywhere, and the media is so hectic with speculation. It’s almost funny, if it’s not so scary. Toast… there are multiple people reported missing. People who are presumed to be dead from CCTV recording and amateur videos. They- they—”

“They came back from the dead,” Toast finished for her, sighing. “What does the police say about it?”

“They don’t,” Leslie said, bewildered. “I don’t understand. The attack was there, there were victims, those monsters are still out there, why aren’t they doing anything? They just told us to stay at home until the situation is cleared. We’ve seen how those monsters killed the police officers. They just took the bullets like it’s nothing—nothing! What good it will do to stay at home when they can chase us back?”

He didn’t know, and he hardened himself when he calculated their grim possibilities. He knew that Leslie was worried for Edison, for their friends. If they didn’t even know how to kill those monsters, then what the hell could they do? They might not even be able to outrun them, considering how fast those things were once they saw their preys.

“Are there any reports of similar attacks?” he asked instead.

“Yeah,” she said. “Two more in W. 4th and 3rd Street near Sycamore Ave.”

“Shit,” Toast gasped out. “That’s close too each other, and too close to us.”

“I know,” she sighed, downtrodden. “How long do we think until we’re no longer safe here?”

“Not much longer,” he grimaced. “Not to mention that we don’t even know where they came from. The recordings of their appearance are all over the state. We don’t even know where we’ll be safe. Our best bet is to stay here and defend the house.”

They knew nothing about the monsters; their pattern, their behavior, their weakness, when they would attack and when they would stay dormant. They had been seen at nights and broad daylight, just like yesterday. He wondered if they would be safer in the hills, or if they would just expose themselves even more. He retracted to what Rae said about the government possibly making camps for citizens, but camps weren’t what they need. They needed something more.

“Have they issued a quarantine yet?”

Leslie shook her head. “No, nothing. It feels- it feels like they don’t even care, you know? I understand that they’re confused and helpless about those monsters. But at this point, with all the murders all over the state, why aren’t there any preventative measure yet? We don’t even know where those monsters reside, nowhere is safe until we know it.”

Because the government might not even care whether they died or not, Toast thought, but kept it to himself. There would be a time when he told his friends, but their state of mind was incredibly fragile right now and he couldn’t shake it too much just yet. He himself wasn’t even ready for what was waiting for them, laying dormant with its sharp claws and poisonous fangs. All they could do right now was plan and survive.

“They’ll be back soon,” he said, rubbing Leslie’s back when she buried her face in her hands. “They’ll be okay, they’ll call if something happens. We have to wait and believe in them.”

“I just- I wish that this isn’t happening to us, Toast,” she sobbed out, finally letting everything out after staying strong for so long. “We were about to have our marriage, and now we have to fend for our lives. What is this? No one can help us, no one is doing anything about those monsters. Do we really have to wait until we die, all of us?”

He swallowed around the clog in his throat, and closed his eyes. He didn’t know the answers, despite having more clues than anyone else. He should call Jimmy soon, see what he knew about the recent events. He hoped that his brother wasn’t out there with the police force, hoped that his family was doing alright.

There were many things to think about. Not only their immediate survival, but also other commodities they would lose over the time. If this continued, and if they got to the worst scenario where help came too late, then he had to predict about loss of electricity and water, difficulty in having supplies, more defense for the house, means of transportations with the city in shamble, and weapons they had to train to use in case they ran into those monsters again.

But where would they go after this? They all were separated from their families, and though some of them were in the same city, the others were too far to reach. Would it be wise for them to reconcile with their families, with all the risks along the way to go there, or would it be better if they stick together until they were sure of their plans? They all were worried about the safety of their loved ones, but they weren’t in the position where they could go out easily. It could be that the threat hadn’t completely encompass the city yet, but they were only humans. They were paralyzed by fear, they were paranoid of going out, they were helpless in the face of this vicious nightmare.

All they could was wait, and it was laughable, when the storm wouldn’t wait for them until they were ready. This was only the first wave of tsunami, and they were already drowning so fast into the bottom of the ocean. Toast hoped, with everything that he had, that they could still come up for air, instead of sinking amidst the corpses that had littered the ocean.

When the group had come back from the supply run, they were hit by another grim news.

“They’re everywhere,” Corpse said, voice full of panic and almost out of breath.

“We got into the supermarket and everyone is already panic-buying everything. We got as much as we could have,” Peter said, gesturing to the abundance of supplies on the back of the car. “But we, uh, stole some of them because the monsters—they were already there when we were about to pay for our groceries.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Toast said, waving his hand away. “Sooner or later the trade will evolve. Everyone will be scavenging for supplies, and we will steal a whole lot more than this when the time comes. The most important thing is that none of you got hurt.”

“Yeah, we ran as fast as we can,” Rae said, grinning brightly. They could count on her to thrive in this kind of situation, given that she actually had something to do. “But fuck, it was so chaotic back then. We almost couldn’t get the car out in time.” Sooner or later, they wouldn’t be able to use the car at all, and Toast had to think of other alternatives.

“Toast,” Edison called, face set in a hard line. “There were a lot more of them than we saw yesterday, and- and we saw something different, too.”

“What is it?” he asked, gulping down his fear. It… couldn’t be what he thought.

“All those monsters that we saw, they just sucked the blood out of their preys,” Edison continued. “But there were… some of them who ate the people, too. Like, they just ripped out the flesh and ate them. They were far stronger than the ones we saw. They- they ripped apart the ribcages like mere butter.”

“And they ate the heart?” he asked in trepidation.

“Yeah,” Peter nodded. “It’s fucking gory, I’m telling you. I thought I was about to piss my pants. Good thing we were already in the car by then.”

“Let’s get this all sorted first before we talk,” Toast said, nodding to their supplies.

They brought everything to the kitchen and started categorizing the supplies. There was food, drinks, medicines, more kitchen knives, steel baseball bats, planks, nails, batteries, tissues, and a whole load of essentials that he predicted would be enough for a week. More, if they could manage it carefully. He looked at the abundance of snacks, and raised an eyebrow at the scavenging team, who just grinned at him like it was Christmas.

“What?” Rae asked. “We got all this for free! Might as well take as many as we can.”

“You’re all children,” he sighed, massaging his temples. But he was glad that they could have something to smile about at least. “We need a whole lot more water and medicines. And actual weapons. I’ll look around to find the place where we can make the trade. What else did you see? Is there anything you can garner from the monsters? Attack pattern, body movements, anything?”

“Uh, it was too much of a blur,” Corpse said. “But I know for sure that the vampires are afraid of the flesh-eating ones. They attack one person and drink from them at the same time, but they stay away from the flesh-eating ones, maybe because they’re stronger? Like a hierarchy.”

“Good, that’s good,” he nodded. “We know something at least. Do they move in crowds? Or individually?”

“Oh!” Peter piped up. “Now that I think about it, they kinda do. They prey on one person together.”

“Okay, what else?”

“Nothing much,” Edison shrugged. “We just ran. We didn’t stay around to observe their behavior.”

He nodded, that was the main plan; to run away from the monsters and staying alive. He sighed out when a thought occurred to his mind. This was all so… wild, savage. It felt almost like they were back to the era where humans hunted for food, and there was nothing to be concerned about but having roofs to stay under, enough good to fill their bellies, and staying away from predators. Humans adapted and evolved based on their environment, and their current environment was one that necessitate them to prioritize survival than second-tier needs like comfort and entertainment. It was survival of the fittest in the jungle full of monsters.

“We will come out of this alive,” he said, looking at them all in the eyes one by one. Though strength and resources were necessary, the will and spirit to stay alive was also important. A broken mind couldn’t be bothered to fight for their lives, they would just waste away, waiting for the nightmares to claim their soul. They were young and thriving, flourishing in their lives, and he would make sure that it’d stay that way until this storm was over.

The days afterwards were spent planning for more supply run, reinforcing their barricade, trying to reach out with their families and friends, and watching the news nearly all the time. There were little movements to solve the current problems from the police and military. The president was unreachable, and there was still no quarantine whatsoever. The world was still revolving, and their lives was still in danger.

They had tried contacting the police, but the line was always busy. With how many people were in panic about the incidents, it was given that they would also do the same. But when they tried calling the National Emergency Center, it was when the horror hit. They were met with radio silence. There was nothing, the line was connected but there was no one at the other end of the line. Toast watched as panic enveloped his friends’ faces, when they realized that they were well and truly alone in this.

There was something bigger going on, he could feel it. There was no way that such an emergency, a catastrophe like this wasn’t taken care of by the government. If they ever had the intention to help at all. But it didn’t make sense at all. The monsters wouldn’t discriminate between citizens and the people of the government; they would kill them all. Why weren’t they doing anything to prevent that, then? Countries all over the world had heard about the news, and the reactions varied from one person to another. Toast had seen from the social media how many people thought that this was merely fiction, that it was just some ploy to market a movie or something. He wanted to laugh; America was so notorious in its outrageous events that everyone else in the world felt disconnected from the country itself.

America was more advanced, conquering everything from military, weaponries, technologies, medical, politics, and economy. The only they lacked was common sense and humanity. The rest of the world was forced to follow the flow of where America would take the world next, and when something like this happened, it was understandable, even expected, that they saw it as something so unreachable. As if it wasn’t real, because they were so disconnected from it.

But countries that previously had tension with America immediately banned any flight and transportation means that came from America. Russia, China, Middle Eastern, and East Asia had closed their ports completely from America. But America itself still continued to open their ports, by the sky and by the seas. Anything area that was connected through the land was still open as well. If they kept this on, sooner or later the whole continent would fall.

Maybe it was something so far-fetched. Maybe the government was just preparing something to combat the tragedy. They had the means for it, they had the technology and weapons necessary to eradicate anything that stood on its path to glory. But knowing what he did, remembering what Jimmy said about the government and its possible ties to all the kidnapping and homicide cases, made Toast think that maybe this was the path to glory. For whatever reason, they had deemed that the suffering of the people was the way to achieve their goal.

There wasn’t any terrorist group to watch out for, there wasn’t any ominous organization who had all the strings. The government itself could be the perpetrator of all this madness.

A week leading to the next supply run, Toast forced them all to practice. They would find a gun store later, but right now they had to be able to use the weapons they had in hand. Having a knife was useless if they didn’t know how to use it; it could even hurt themselves if they weren’t careful. They were all hesitant, and they didn’t even know where to begin. But Toast talked them through it all, telling them that they had to be ready to do anything to survive, and it meant that they had to be ready to face the monsters should they find a situation where they couldn’t run. They couldn’t hesitate to kill; they couldn’t let go even a millisecond and create an opening for the monsters to attack.

So far, all the girls had practices in simple defense mechanism. It saddened Toast, that the reason they knew about it at all was because women were always in danger, all the time. They had to be prepared to defend themselves because the world seemed to be out for them. It wasn’t enough to fight blood-sucking monsters, but it was better than nothing. The guys could fight, sure, but they weren’t used to a life where they had to use it all the time. Each of them wasn’t working in any job that required them to fight at all. Edison was a programmer for Microsoft, Peter was a businessman, Toast was a production manager, and Corpse was a musician. Their chances were grim, but they had to push through if they didn’t want to die a gruesome death.

The week felt… desperate. They tried their best not to let silence envelope the house at all. Tina was getting better at accepting the situation, but they all worried for Corpse’s health. He had his medicines with him, and though he was better from his last treatments with Sykkuno, he still had weak constitutions compared to them all. While Toast was out of commissions because of his wounds, they agreed to let Corpse switch out with Leslie so his body wouldn’t be so burdened.

“Be careful,” Toast said when the day of the supply run finally came. “Watch out for the flesh-eating ones. Supplies are important, but we have to find medicines and weapons first and foremost. Do not hesitate to push away people out of your way. It’s either us or them, now.”

Leslie looked at him sadly. “I wish we never have to say that,” she said, looking down at the metal bat she had on her hands. “That’s just… so cruel. What if they’re on a position where we could help? What if we’re on their position and no one helps us because they all think the same way as we do?”

Toast sighed, but he understood what she meant. The thing was, he knew this was hard for all them. They all were adults, but they had lived so comfortably, surrounded by luxury, including the luxury of kindness. Toast was better at managing his feelings because he was always a little bit out of touch with his emotions; it was hard for him to let himself be vulnerable, to let himself be weak, especially in a kind of industry that he lived in. The media industry would tear him apart to shreds if he wasn’t always so ready for any threat, if he ever showed even the smallest mistake, the barest hint of weakness. In a way, the industry was as vicious as those monsters in toppling down anyone that wasn’t strong enough to aim for the top. It was another case of survival of the fittest.

So Toast, with his apathy and coldhearted intelligence, would bear the burden of having no empathy, of being cold enough to not be kind, for the sake of their survival. They weren’t used to this kind of thing, but he was. He would bring them all through this tragedy, even if they would hate him, even if he had to let go of the last remnants of his heart.

“There isn’t time nor place for morality now, Leslie,” he said, aware how cruel he sounded like. “We can think about our sins once this is all over. But now, we have to get through it first, okay?”

“Okay, Toast,” she nodded, though there were tears glistening in her eyes.

Janet changed his bandages after they were gone and the garage door was locked tightly. They didn’t have much time to talk, with Toast so busy planning and not letting them going down further into sadness. He had done that enough when he was spiraling in hysteria. Having the time to talk to her, listening to her soothing voice as she assessed him was something he needed after a stressful week.

“The wound is healing nicely,” Janet said, smiling sweetly at him. He gave her a gentle smile in return, caressing the side of her face. He missed this, even if they were only in this hellhole for a week. He missed having enough time to relax instead of fearing for his life; he missed having the chance and time to just existed with her. “You’ll be up and ready in no time. But remember to not exert your body too much, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded, and kissed the back of her hands. “Thank you. You’ve done so much for me.”

“We’re in this together,” she said, and Toast remembered why he had chosen her to be his partner in the first place. She was competent, though despite her soft exterior, knew how to carry herself, and knew how to still be gentle in moments like this. She wasn’t just a nurse; she was his partner, his friend, a strong woman, and they had been together longer than he had ever been with anyone else. “I don’t want to lose you to the unknown out there. So, keep yourself alive for me, okay?”

He hugged her tightly, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume, and sighed out all the burdens on his shoulders. He didn’t know how long this would last, but Janet was right. They were all in this together, and they had to keep each other safe no matter what. He said it himself—they would come out of this alive.

While they waited for their friends to come back, Janet’s phone rang. It was Jimmy. She handed the phone to him, and he prepared himself to hear any bad news. He thought that it was very sad, that each time Jimmy called, he was always expecting to hear something bad instead of hoping for anything good. This was his longstanding problem; this suspicion and pessimism, this absolute certainty of the worst thing so he could prepare every inch of himself to deal with it. It wasn’t the best view of life, but it had worked for him so far, and he was clueless in changing this deep-rooted habit.

“Jeremy,” Jimmy called out, voice small and quiet. “Are you alone?”

He motioned to Janet that he was going to take the call privately, and she nodded. She went to Peter’s room to maybe talk to Tina instead. Tina and her had cooked simple lunches for them all, and Toast and Corpse had triple-checked their barricades. He sat in the living room alone, speaking to his phone. “I am now.”

“Do you remember the kidnapping and homicide cases?”

How could Toast forget about them? They were the opening of this tremendous tragedy, after all. “I do. What happened?”

“Some of the kidnapped victims have been recorded in several CCTVs,” Jimmy said. “And they were no longer humans. My contacts have suspicion that those homicide cases are indeed connected to the kidnapping. Jeremy—they- they slaughtered those people without mercy. It was worse than the monsters, they didn’t just suck their blood. They ate their bodies, too.”

Toast didn’t even know what to think about. Hearing Edison telling him about those monsters was bad enough, but at least he had assumed that they were far and few in-between. He had forgotten how similar homicides happened all over the state, nearly at the same time. Which meant that there were multiple of them, more than he thought. “Great,” he sighed out. “Now we have two different breeds of monsters altogether. Just what we need right now. My friends saw them too at the supermarket a week ago.”

“I know,” his brother replied, wistful. “I need you to be aware of them. Jeremy, they look like human. They aren’t like the monsters, at all.”

“What do you mean?” Toast asked carefully, sitting up straighter.

“They look just like normal people,” Jimmy said. “There literally isn’t any difference between them and us. The only thing you can watch out for is that they walk weird, and they’re usually dirty and bloody from eating all those people. I’ll send you the list of missing people. Should you find them, run as fast as you can. I have a feeling that these people will be the ones who are different from the monsters.”

“Why isn’t the government issuing this?” he demanded, frustrated and confused by the lack of information and action from the government; no matter how much he speculated about their involvement in the catastrophe, there was still a part of him that was still foolishly hoping for a help, any help. “This should be broadcasted in the news so people will know what to watch out for.”

“Jeremy…” Jimmy said, and he sounded… scared, and it scared Toast, too. “They’re manhunting Sykkuno right now. I don’t know what the hell is happening anymore in the police force, but it feels like the higher-ups aren’t even concerned about the monsters. They’re so focused in capturing him, and I feel like he’s tied to why the government is just sitting on their thumbs right now.”

“What the fuck is it about that man?” Toast snapped out. “Why is he more important than taking care of the citizens?”

“I don’t know either,” came the reply, accompanied with a sigh. “But the more I think about it, the more I think that Sykkuno is running away from the government because he knows something that they want to cover up. He’s directly involved with the kidnapping, he was the first one to notify us about his presence, he has fifty-six of his patients missing, and now they’re coming back as monsters. Those people he has treated, with new methods. He might have experimented on them, and- and I think the government knows about it.”

Sykkuno had something that they wanted, and it might have something to do with all this chaos, Toast realized. It brought forth their discussion about the possibility that Sykkuno was held hostage. After all, the kidnapping cases had been done so well without traces, and he suddenly appeared as the only suspect, all on his own accord. If the government knew about it, then it could explain how his fake data could go through Cedars-Sinai, and why he was only treating certain kind of patients. Fifty percent of the kidnapped people had illnesses on them, while the rest were perfectly healthy. Could it mean that he was making comparisons?

“Jim,” he said, breathless with realization. “The mutants, the different breed of monsters, search their medical history and see if they all have certain kind of illnesses to them all. If my calculation is right, then we can predict how many mutants are out there, and how many of these blood sucking monsters are. As far as I remember, none of the mutants’ victims are infected. They’re mutilated so thoroughly; they can’t go back from the dead.”

There were rustles from the other end of the line, and Toast waited patiently as Jimmy went through his documents. After ten minutes of silence, there was a loud gasp heard from the phone. “Jeremy,” Jimmy breathed out. “Jeremy, holy shit. They do. Out of the sixteen mutants recorded on CCTVs this far, they all match the profile of the missing people who have illnesses. If this theory is true, then we… we have nearly a hundred mutants on our hands. Out of one-hundred-and-seventy-nine kidnapped victims, eighty-eight of them have illnesses.”

“I think we can be certain that fifty-six of them are definitely mutants, considering they were Sykkuno's patients,” Toast said, exhilarated by the new discovery. Anything, anything that could aid them in understanding the situation, in knowing the enemies better, would be good for their survival in the long run. “We don’t know about the rest. Keep an eye on the news of any new recording.”

“Jerry… could it be… that Corpse was about to be the next kidnapped victim? Because Sykkuno treated him?”

Toast’s heart stopped in its cage for one scant millisecond. That… was a possibility he didn’t want to entertain. But it made so much sense why Sykkuno called Corpse, why he told him to run. But… why? What was it that was so important about Corpse that made Sykkuno willing to reach out to him personally? Toast wracked his brain for any answers, but he ended up with nothing. There were too many unstable variables to consider. But there was a possibility he could come up with.

“Do you think… there’s some similarity to these mutants? Sykkuno certainly has access to their medical records. Do you think there’s a certain something he’s looking for? Something that made them able to be turned into the mutants instead of the blood-sucking monsters.”

Jimmy was quiet on the other end of the line. When he spoke, he was grim and determined. “We won’t know for sure about that. But one thing is certain: we have to find Sykkuno. Soon, before they found him. There- there isn’t any request to capture him alive anymore, Jeremy. It means that whatever they want from him, it’s something physical and concrete and they only need to find him to get whatever it is.”

“Jesus fuck,” he grunted out. This was fucking insane. Toast was used to crazy things by living in the entertainment and media industry; he was used to all of the anecdotes and embellishment necessary to sell something, to spread an agenda. But this was just pure insanity. This was nearly fictional in its mind-boggling intensity. This was something he would read or watch, not something that he would experience. And yet, here they were, and here he was; talking about possibilities that seemed so far away when all of this insanity started. But that was what he had only know, wasn’t it? What if it had started long before they realized that the storm was about to him them? What if it was already brewing for so long and they were actually unprepared for the torrent it would cause?

“I have a feeling that he wouldn’t leave the country yet,” Jimmy said. “The police forces in Los Angeles are issued to secure every perimeter to prevent the spread of the monsters just now. I don’t know how effective it will be, and there’s a chance that he has escaped via flight or any transportation. But I don’t think so. If the government wants him, they’ll be securing any means of transportation and—oh, fuck. Why didn’t I realize sooner?”

“What?” Toast asked, worried and impatient. “What is it?”

“One of my intel works in CIA,” Jimmy said, urgent and full of wonder in his voice. “We’re still friends, and I often do cases for them to trade for information, to reach all those bastards in high positions, you know? They told me that a few months ago the CIA has been told to monitor the transportations. They complained about it because- because it’s so mundane, right? Certainly something that CIA agents wouldn’t have been doing. But- but they also told me that they’re told to watch out for this guy, that looks totally harmless. They weren’t told that he’s a threat, they were just told to monitor where he goes.”

“He’s still in America, he can’t leave the state at all,” Toast finished for him. A memory rose through his mind, the details that he overlooked all this time because he didn’t know how important it was. “The phone calls from Sykkuno. Both of them. There were always voices of men and sounds of guns. He was being watched.”

“It matches!” Jimmy exclaimed. “Holy shit, it matches! Jeremy, you’re brilliant! We can find Sykkuno, we can.”

“We can’t exactly go out now,” Toast said. “But I’ll tell my friends to look out for him. And, Jimmy?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t act so recklessly,” he said, sighing. “Remember that we still have to protect Jenny and Ma.”

“Okay, little brother,” Jimmy said, fondness seeping into his voice. “You, too. You have to stay alert for anything. I’ll call you later if I find something else.”

When the phone call clicked off, Toast immediately turned on the TV. Jimmy had said that the police force was only now securing the perimeter, after a week of the first attack. That was foolish and much, much too late to curb the spread of the monsters. They hadn’t gone out all week, but they had seen from the news and social media just how chaotic it was out there. More and more attacks happened, and there were little of police involvements. Some of the polices recorded were those of the lowest hierarchy. They were poor sods who were there to give people parking tickets and to regulate the streets. They weren’t there to fight unkillable monsters stronger than them.

But… what if it wasn’t to curb the monsters? Sykkuno had been gone for several months since that fire at Cedars-Sinai. Jimmy said that it was big chance that he was still in America. But what if they knew that, too, and was limiting his movements further. There… was even a chance that he was still around Los Angeles. That was slim chance, but there could be. It all started here, didn’t it? The first kidnapping victim was from Los Angeles, Sykkuno was seen here, too, on the CCTV. Not to mention that Corpse said he worked in Cedars-Sinai sometimes. But then again, he could be in Baltimore, going back to Thomas Allen’s place. That place had been ransacked, and he wasn’t found there. But once the possibility had been discarded, Sykkuno could have gone there because it was one of the safer options. He had months to get that chance.

No, Toast thought. He could have gone there, maybe, but it was most probably that he had gone back to Los Angeles, for some reason. Because the command to secure the perimeters had only been issued in Los Angeles and not on the other cities. It wasn’t even all over California. It was just here. They knew he was here.

Janet’s phone pinged and Toast saw that Jimmy had sent him the information about the list of missing person, along with the details of their data, and Sykkuno's data as well. There was very little known about him. But at least there was a picture and clear descriptions of his physical appearance. As Toast read the data sent, he thought that Corpse was right. Sykkuno was pretty. Slender built, soft-slanted eyes, curved lips, high cheekbones. Not to mention how persuasive he was with his gentle, sweet voice, according to Corpse.

But this pretty man hid numerous terrifying things behind his sweet smile on the picture. It was hard to reconcile this harmless looking person with everything that he had possibly done, everything tied to him. Even if he wasn’t the direct source of this catastrophe, he was certainly one of the catalysts. It had only been a week, but their lives as they knew it couldn’t go back as it was before. Sykkuno was the only one who could at least provide some answers to all of this confusion. And if he didn’t, well, at least Toast could know what was it exactly that he had. There had to be something.

With plans in mind, he gathered them all once the scavenging group was back. None of them was injured, thankfully. Though they had to make do with minimal supplies because they took a detour when they were looking for the gun store Toast had directed them to. The most important thing was that they had weapons now. Guns, proper knives, knuckles, gas canisters—Peter even got a flamethrower out of nowhere. Apparently, it was for display, but the seller was willing to give it for an outrageous price.

“I just think it looks cool,” Peter shrugged. “We’re literally living in a zombie apocalypse. Might as well go out with style, you know?”

“As long as we have the fuel, that is,” Tina piped up, laughing cheerily. She had gotten better and better by days, and had come back to that inappropriately dark humor with Corpse as her aide.

Toast gave each of them a copy of the documents Jimmy had sent. Things that he had never thought as important, like printers, were truly a blessing now. He didn’t know how long the electricity would last, so he was getting used to old methods. Besides, they couldn’t exactly keep checking their phones in the middle of scavenging and fighting.

“Sit down,” he said. “And be prepared. Throw everything you have known so far about the government, about the kidnapping cases, and the homicide cases. What you have in your hands right now is the copy of the missing person list. There are one-hundred-and-seventy-nine in total. The reasons why this is important, is because the two cases are connected, and they are connected to the current incident as well.”

They all rifled through the pages of the documents, but Corpse was stuck on the first page. It was Sykkuno's data. Toast sighed and motioned for them to get their attention. “Let’s start with the first page. I know this all might seen outrageous, ridiculous even. But trust me on this, okay?

“My brother has been working on these cases for nearly a year. The recorded kidnappings that we know so far started in February, and have been wracking up cases as much as more than ten kidnappings each month. I’m sure some of you recognize the name of the man on the front page. For those who don’t, let me explain. A few months ago, after so long without evidence and trace, there was a recording from a CCTV that showed the man waving to the camera, he was with the last kidnapping victim. He was unknown, and his face wasn’t detected because of the mask. He was seen as the main suspect, and the only lead to the kidnapping cases.

“Two weeks after that, Corpse told us that he was seeing a new doctor. His name is Sykkuno, and he fits the bill of the man in the recording perfectly. About four days before the day of his next appointment with Sykkuno, Corpse got a phone call from the man. He asked for the appointment to be earlier, and he seemed to be running away from something. He asked to be helped. Now, let me tell you that it might be an act, but on the day that we were supposed to meet him, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center was burned in fire, I’m sure all of you have heard of it.”

He looked around, and they all nodded, remembering the grim incident. There were more than three hundred victims who died that night, and the memorial was still visited very often by families and sympathizers alike. Toast knew that Corpse had been feeling incredibly guilty, blaming himself for the incident. He didn’t know how he coped with that, but he heard from Tina that he had been seeing a psychiatrist to alleviate the guilt. It was understandable, because Corpse might think that he was the reason why the hospital was burned to the ground. If they didn’t plan on meeting Sykkuno there, the hospital and those people might still be alright. Toast felt that guilt, too, but he pushed it away in favor of continuing his life and thinking about the bigger picture. It was only the start of many tragedies to happen, he couldn’t just stop and waste away because of one thing. It was cruel and heartless, but it was necessary.

Sometimes he thought about the word: necessary. How much longer he could use that justification until he had turned into a complete monster himself? Those monsters were mindless, only acting out of their base needs to get sustenance. They slaughtered people because that was the only thing they knew how to do. What was the difference between them and the monsters if they kept excusing themselves and every atrocity they did in the name of necessity of survival?

He didn’t know, and right now wasn’t the time to be concerned about it either. Time waited for no one, and those monsters certainly wouldn’t wait for them to play nice with morality intact. There had to be a sacrifice to get through this all alive, and it wasn’t just comfort and safety—it was their sanity and their humanity as well.

“Wasn’t that fire because of the leak in the boiler room?” Rae asked, frown clear on her face.

“It might be,” Toast nodded, “but there’s too many coincidences. Because on the same day, Sykkuno's fake identity, Thomas Allen, who has been dead for eight years, his place was ransacked too. On that very same day, he called Corpse again, telling him to ‘run’. He knows something we don’t, and that might be the reason why the government is looking for him.”

“Wait,” Edison cut him off. “Wait, wait. You mean, the government is involved in this? That all of those are just a ploy to get to Sykkuno?”

“Since the beginning, the government never really did anything about the kidnapping case, or the homicide cases that we know by now isn’t homicide as much as it’s just a… feast, for those monsters,” Toast said. “The kidnapping cases are all clean, too clean, even. Until the day Sykkuno waved at the camera, there has been no trace, no evident, no witness, no record whatsoever. The police were going in blindly at that case. The moment they have a lead, it ended up with the hospital burned, the apartment ransacked, and Sykkuno gone entirely.

“At first, it’s only a possibility that Jimmy and I discussed. But the longer it happens, the more that we realize that Sykkuno definitely has a tie to the government. They’re on a manhunt, for him. Beforehand, the command was to capture him alive, but right now, they just want him to be caught, dead or alive. He has something they want, and that something could be the key to all of these incidents.”

“You want us to find Sykkuno,” Corpse deduced.

“Yes,” Toast nodded. He looked at all of them, finding confusion and the horror slowly slipping in. It was one thing to be confused about the lack of aid from the government, but to find out that they might have their hands in this living nightmare was a brand new of horror altogether. The silence on the other line of the National Emergency Center now seemed more ominous than before. “We need to find him before the government do. There’s only a handful of people who are told to capture him, but Jimmy just told me that a slew of CIA agents might be involved because they had been told to track Sykkuno's movements for a long time now. This is going to be difficult, but this is our only lead.”

There was a momentary silence, before, surprisingly, Janet spoke up.

“But, Toast…” she started, hesitant. “Why should we find him? Why should it be us? We’re just… us, Toast. Why should we concern ourselves with something bigger than us, rather than trying our best to stay alive?”

There were murmurs spreading around the room, and Toast sighed. He had anticipated this. “I know what you think,” he said to the whole room. “I know that this task might be impossible, and I won’t force you to do it. Jimmy and I are willing to find Sykkuno by ourselves, if you don’t want to. All you have need to do is keep an eye out for him. Other than that, I think you all deserve to know the truth about this incident, and the government’s involvement in this.”

“You still don’t need to find him,” Janet argued, standing up now. Distress was clear on every line of her face. “You said it yourself: he’s wanted dead or alive. What difference would it make for us to find him? Even if he has the answers, even if he has—I don’t know, the cure, probably. What can we do about it? We’re just a bunch of citizens. We can’t fight the government if they’re really Sykkuno's enemy, and we certainly don’t have the resources to replicate and mass-produce the cure, if he really has it. We can’t even give it to the hospitals or research center because the government will be watching us. Toast—this isn’t our responsibility.”

“It is,” he snapped out, too blinded with his thoughts to notice the flash of hurt across his partner’s face. “I told you, you don’t have to do it. I’ll only ask those of you who are willing. But this is directly connected to my brother, as one of the few people who have the clear to manhunt Sykkuno. Which means that he has more information than that of regular people, which means that we have bigger chance of stopping this madness. I don’t know about any of you, but I intend to stay alive as long as I can, and I intend on ensuring that my family will be alive as well, with any means necessary. If it means that I have to look for Sykkuno to the end of earth, then so be it.”

“Toast, calm down,” Peter said, standing up to cradle his shoulders. Toast tried to shrug him off, fuming with rage by now. But Peter held him down and push him to sit back on the chair. “I get it, I do. We are all worried about our families, Toast, and if you think this is necessary then you do you. But you also have to understand where we’re coming from as well. This all is so out of our reach, you know? All this cases, the government, Sykkuno—all of this isn’t something that we deal with daily. You must understand our shock. Janet is right when she said that this isn’t your responsibility. Finding Sykkuno can be your secondary goal rather than the first. Because the main goal is always staying alive, isn’t it? You can’t just expect all of this to be over if we find Sykkuno. Think about it.”

He heaved several deep breaths, and realized that Peter was right. Finding Sykkuno wasn’t an instant solution, even if he could shed some light to the current situation. He was doing his bad habit of obsessing over something, of latching onto something with such rigidity that he didn’t think of any other options but the ones he had chosen. He was also inconsiderate in thinking that only his family mattered. They all had families, and they were worried sick of their safety, too. Finding Sykkuno wouldn’t ensure their chance of outliving this apocalypse. He slowly lifted his eyes and looked at Janet.

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” he said softly. She gave him a strained smile, evidently still hurt by his outburst. But she reached across the arm of the chair to hold his hand. He was forgiven, he knew. “Okay. Sorry for that bullshit I just spew. Let’s just chalk this up as additional information for all of you. Treat this as an early preventative measure so you can watch out for the government. The monsters aren’t our only foe.”

“What’s the other list is for?” Leslie asked, trying to lighten up the situation by continuing their discussion.

“Right,” he said, “do you remember what the media said months ago? About secret experiments?”

“Yeah,” Tina said, a wry smile on her face. “And the zombie theory, too. Funny how it turns out, huh?”

“There might be some truth to those rumors,” Toast said. Their eyes widened as they understood the implication. “The list is divided into two. Fifty percent of the kidnapped victims have illnesses, while the other fifty percent are perfectly healthy. What I said about the experiment, is because fifty-six of those people were treated by Sykkuno, with new methods, got better by the end of it, and got kidnapped. Recently, there are recordings of those people murdering people, eating them.”

“Like the ones we saw at the supermarket,” Edison said.

“Exactly like those,” he nodded. “They’re faster, stronger, more vicious than the blood-sucking ones. They don’t just drain the blood of their victims, they consume the flesh, too. These mutants are predicted to be eighty-eight in total. We can safely assume that fifty-six of them are certainly ones, considering that Sykkuno might have experimented on them.”

Corpse let out a choked gasp. He had realized what Toast did a while ago. That he could have been one of them, too. Toast threw him a comforting smile, as Tina hugged the young man to comfort him.

“We don’t know whether he experimented on them on his own will, or because the government told him to, and that’s not necessarily important to know either right now,” he continued. “Just know that while these mutants can’t infect people, they’re far more dangerous that those- those vampires. You have seen the vampires, have you?” They all nodded, shuddering in discomfort as they recalled the atrocious appearance and how easily they caught their preys. “These mutants don’t look like them. You can differentiate them through appearance alone. They look like normal human, but Jimmy said that they walk weirdly. Most probably because their coordination isn’t very good when they’re not hunting. Watch out for anyone on the first list. Remember their face, this will aid us in the future.”

He waited until they all had gone through the list, before continuing.

“This is all that we have right now,” he said. “Peter is right; staying alive should be our main priority right now, as well as ensuring the safety of our loved ones. Spread this information to them, but tell them to never post it online. The government might take notice of it and shut it down completely. There’s a reason why information about Sykkuno and these people are kept confidential.”

“They don’t want us to know,” Rae whispered, gasping. “They’re letting us die.”

“It’s the most possible conclusion we reach right now,” Toast said in resignation. “They’re securing the perimeter in Los Angeles. Though that would do exactly nothing about our current situation, it could also mean that Sykkuno can still be here since they want to limit his movements. I know that this isn’t your responsibility, and I’m not saying you have to, but do watch out for him, too. For what it’s worth, I think we all deserve some answer, and Sykkuno is the only one who can provide it for us right now. The government won’t tell us anything, the emergency line is completely silent, and it won’t take long before we’re completely left alone. Be prepared for anything, be prepared to fight for your life.”

They all were stewing on their thoughts after that discussion. Toast took a time to close his eyes and think, with Janet by his side. She caressed his hair soothingly, and he leaned into the touch.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “That was really mean of me. You meant well, but I just—”

“I understand,” she said kindly. “I think you’re right, too. If no one is helping us, and if no one is thinking about stopping this, then this nightmare will be unending. We have more information than everyone else and we have bigger chance, but Toast… just remember not to lose yourself while you’re chasing your goal, alright?”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, and held her hand tightly in his.

The storm had hit them and they were left in shambles, left stranded in an island where everything tried to kill them. There was no way out, and before long, they knew that another storm would hit again. This time, there was no roof to hide in, no layers of blanket to keep them warm, no fortress to keep them safe. When it hit again, there was nothing but their bare skin and their will to live that would be left.

As the night went on, Toast thought back life before everything went to hell. A life where he was so unconcerned about everything around him, a life where he had always felt like he was on the top of the food chain. Everything had been washed away by the harsh wave, and he had nothing but confusion and a determination that had nowhere to go to. They were up against something that was much, much bigger than them, and they didn’t even know if they could take that step forward.

Toast had his friends, had his family, had a sliver of information, a clue on how to proceed, but God was it so hard to do it. It was getting faster and faster for him to spiral downward, to be obsessive about his single-minded goal. And while it was good for him beforehand, to not be aware of his surrounding in his focused intensity might get him killed if he wasn’t careful. If anyone from the government realized what Jimmy and he planned on doing, they’d be dead before they could even blink. But there was no way to go in this lone island in the middle of the broiling ocean.

It was scary, and he was but a weak man without any survival skill to boast off. He was trying to be strong for his friends, his family, himself, but even he knew that he was basically just no one. He was just another citizen trying to stay afloat in this catastrophe. He could be killed tomorrow, and the world would still go on without him. Toast didn’t care about the world, but his family’s world would be shattered if he was gone and he didn’t want that.

He took a deep breath, compiling his plans in his mind. Regular supply run, practice with the weapons, find things to defend the house better, find other means of transportation in case they couldn’t use the car anymore, find Sykkuno, stay alive.

When the storm hit again, when they all inevitable got pulled into the harsh waves, when they were forced to lay bare everything and be stripped down to savagery and means of survival necessary to not be killed, he just hoped that he wouldn’t be torn to shreds completely. He hoped that by the end of this, he would still have a part of himself, a part of his humanity intact.

#video blogging rpf #shiki writes #from ao3 #toastkkuno #disguisedtoast #sykkuno #chaptered fic #post apocalyptic #apocalypse #discontinued work

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cassidieatgw2 · 1 year ago

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Secrets of the Obscure afterthoughts pt 2

See post below for part one, in this I will be talking about the story, below cut. Beware, spoilers plenty ahead.

Now, let's get to the story. The commander getting tricked to give an interview to the nosy reported, only to have her distort everything at the end is a classic. That makes me think that at some point, in Cantha, they actually actively avoided Mi-Rae. I'm picturing Cassidie going to Rama at the end of it asking for the face masker back. "what for, commander? you're not going to commit more crimes?", "it's that reporter, Mi-Rae... she's after me!", "...... totally yours, commander. Good luck.". Only to be tricked by a letter (that depends on character race, to my main asura is a Taimi sounding too formal and then enjoying the order, nice and tidy, of their lab like some major obcession with cleanliness that they do not have; or my humans reading that the queen spoke to them via Faren. Demanding to go back to Divinity's Reach is a nightmare to Ehru, he avoids that place and his adoptive parents, to the point of moving permanently to Arborstone until he has enough money to rent an apartment in Kaineng) (wouldn't it be funny that one of these days a royal wedding is announced and it would be Jenna marrying Faren?).

Speaking of weddings, still no lesbian wedding of the millenium. I don't believe Anet would marry them off screen, when everyone is so damn invested on it, but when contacting Marjory, she says that both of them are busy enjoying the good life and from what I have already gathered from wedding planning it's everything but the good life... unless I'm wrong, or wedding planning in Tyria is not stressfull at all, and fine and dandy. Anet, don't... and please have the commander pick up the bouquet after, please!

The commander noticing that everyone is fine and happy, but behing sad about it... also lonely. It speaks loads. Their only purpose was to fight to save Tyria, and now that everythings fine they have nothing. A good continuying line from the previous episode, and good food for thoughts and story.

Commander snoops around and gets pulled to a rift to another dimention. Though, on my second run I noticed that it is written that the kryptis are targeting a powerful individual in Tyria, and by the looks of it it can only be the commander. So...

Yay, more trauma! Now we hear voices!

So, I loved having Zojja finally here and well. And I loved that she admitted to being angry all the time, not managing her trauma of losing Snaff, plus the blighting pod trauma and losing respect of her peers in Rata Sum. But something was irking me, and I think I get it now: Zojja hints at resentment that the commander didn't care enough to go find her and see her, like we didn't care, but the truth is... we cared. My commander cared. Cassidie cared. Headcannon, they went to the hospital to visit Zojja and got barred everytime. They went to Zojja's lab, to check if there was anything new. We cared, we spent the last two expansions and living stories asking for Zojja, and to get it delivered saying that we didn't care enough feels like a slap in the face. Like, thanks a lot Anet.

Oh, I like Mabon...

I like the new characters, because they are all misfits. The asuran that no longer fit well in their society, the not-rock dwarf that splits in two, the last jotun lady with not-so-lady-like features and still powerful magic, the good and caring mursaar, the smart skritt that basically fell in an inteligence cauldron, the char Gladium that is hard of hearing and mute... they are all misfists. Has a person that is another misfit, that never belonged anywhere (and I'm speaking both in real life and in the game) that is... conforting. I really loved them. New best friends for life. Also, the commander is a magical anomaly. At this point, it is clear that the commander is something that no one knows what exactly the commander is. They are not exactly mortal, they died and came back, they nearly died a few times, they have been exposed to a ton load of magic and radiation, even the demon lords can't quite pin down what we are exactly, some ghosts and other beings hint at them being a reincarnation of another hero but there is no reincarnation in Tyria, or at least not any other case of it besides us. Thus, contributing to the commanders isolation from everyone else. A misfit. Just like them. And maybe something more?

The whole idea of the fractals is interesting and quite explorable. It means that there are copies of people with different outcomes, now materialized. You now what this means? There could be copies of Trahearne, Snaff, Eir, Blish, Almorra, you name it. Is there a copy of the commander? Not clear. And also, the fractal of if the commander gave up on stopping Balthazar, or really died. Because, it was a stone in their conscience: what if they didn't do this, to prevent some outcome? And there is the answer, not good. To a commander who is riffled with doubts and guilt, it could help... or maybe make things worse... (and Zojja's journals did not help either); it was cool seeing Rata Novus and Zinn, and domesticated chak.

I headcannon that Lyhr is gay for Rand Waylit.

It was interesting seeing people think of Dagda as trans; and I'm thorn. On one hand, I want Dagda as a not conventional buff woman, and on the other hand a trans woman that is still recognisable as trans because she's not womanly enough (although it might be just because she changed name due to a traumatic past, and the demons are deadnaming the poor thing). Well, maybe they are not excluding each other. I also headcannon her as lebian, though it's a bit of falling on the cliché of buff woman being lesbian. Okay, she's a trans buff jotun lady lesbian for Waiting Sorrow (by the name I'm going to guess is a kodan).

The Wizard's Tower is really cool.

Oh no, I shure hope nothing happens to Mabon.

Anet, goddamit...

Good writting or bad writting debate aside, I understand why they wrote it this way, but that still does not make me happy with the story. There were other ways. They are repeating what they did with Snaff just for the sake of what, compelling Zojja to take the wizards place? The problem is that there was already a place, she was already on her way to that. Also, didn't the mursaat separate themselfs in aspects? Or phase out of Tyria? Why couldn't he do that? Why could we clean Dagda, Lyhr and Isgarren with no problem but he has to die? R'tchikk says that every wizard has a special hability, refering to Lyhr and his facets, but about Mabon is his empathy... which isn't a special hability (is one that more people should have, though). Could he come back? There was a moment where I felt that could be a possibility, but no, it was just for a stupid memory that was way out of place and held nothing to the story (a fight? really?).

Plus Mabon liked us. (don't ask me why I liked him, I guess because he was nice and all... I generally don't like buff guys).

What Isgarren said during the last part could have hurt the commander. For mine, who is already riddled with anxiety and guilt, who just had to kill someone they liked again, who thinks that it is all their fault, they should have never set a foot in the Wizard's world, it would be too much.

Although, Isgarren and the commander woul make quite the dancing pair. They are kinda alike, or so everyone points out. They could end up together.

I know everyone liked Cerus, and Peitha. I didn't, not really. Couldn't care less about Cerus, Peitha still has too much of a feminine dainty little lady look for being the demon sister of Cerus. I liked Nourys, though, yeah, bring me the cosmic eldritch horrors! Am curious for Eparch.

Please bring Mabon back. I don't care, bad writting for bad writting, if anyone complains, it's already kinda trashy anyway.

Please make the commander more expressive other than just saying sorry, or what little did they writte on story log. My commander was as grief struck as Zojja, if not more. "We met him for way too little", but I don't care, okay?

Anet please don't muck this up.

#guild wars 2 #gw2 #gw2 soto spoilers #gw2 spoilers #guild wars 2 secrets of the obscure #post expansion rambles #my favorite characters almost always die

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tickletoy · 1 month ago

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Just to preface since it's referenced in the fic and shortenings of his name are used, this is what the Drow's name translates to!

Amalethdaer'Drada of House Ilrae

Amal= Divine

Eth= Obsession

Daer= Trickster

Drada= Second born

Il= Masters of

Rae= fell powers

"Why do the elves hate us so much?"

"Stay towards the back, and avoid eye contact with the drow. They'll take it as a challenge. At least the high elves don't think we're worth the effort.”

“I just don't understand; what've we done to deserve this?!”

“You damn Humans have made a mockery of our kind for too long.”

The male drow sneered, white hair to his midback with purple highlights and a first fiery gaze that pierced right through them making him no less intimidating. He is given way by the others by the bars, making him stand out in the center and look all the more regal among them. His clothing is all black with pops of red on his belt and the vibrant ruby around his neck. An ostentatious gift he'd had no choice but to accept and adorn on his and the High Elves treaty. They make his red eyes stand out all the more.

“Too long we were used and abused by our matriarchs. We can't overpower them. But we can absolutely overpower you. There will be no escape, though it'll be humorous for us if you try. Not so, for you, in the face of your punishment.”

The high elf beside him laughed, soft blonde hair and gold eyes beautiful and eye-catching but also so, so dangerous. So much more than his light-hearted facade and fine clothes would have one believe.

“They're so fun aren't they? They make the most adorable reactions when you toy with them.”

His gaze scanned the woman and then he smirked as he locked eyes with a terrified, cowering girl. Her eyes pleaded with him not to say anything, as she looked fearfully at the drow beside him, but he wasn't feeling merciful tonight. Her hands were clasped together, likely in prayer as they covered her nude body. Like he said.

Adorable.

“Especially that one there. You should hear the way she squeals and giggles when you tickle her. It's truly precious, in the most pathetic way possible, of course.”

“Tickling, hm?”

The drow’s gaze moved to her and she cringed into the darkness of the wall further, but it was no use. The shadows had never hindered him. There would be no hiding. Her reaction amused him, and his lips quirked up into a smirk that made her cheeks flush.

“I want her.”

“Excellent choice, Daer. Come.”

She froze, hesitating, her eyes darting around for an escape, when the girl beside her roughly pushed her forward making her yelp and rush to catch herself on her hands.

“Go! Or they'll torment even more of us!”

Another scoffed.

“Honestly! It's just a little tickling-”

Amalethdaer noted her flinch and the way she couldn't look the girl in the eye as she said the word.

“The rest of us get hurt! She acts like it's such torture!”

“Just go already! Better you than us! Everyone knows Amalethdaer'drada is the worst of the worst! It's about time it was your turn instead of getting lucky with Sochirus all the time! ”

“B-But it's just tickling, you'll probably be fine!”

The girl looked betrayed but nodded, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she clambered to her feet. She shuffled over, eyes locked on the floor, submissively as she sheepishly covered her breasts.

While Amal was locked onto her reactions, Sochirus was more fascinated by her dynamic within the tribe of females. Seems she was bottom of the pack.

As she exited the cell door Amal grabbed her chin and forced her to meet his gaze, making her gasp.

“Oh, I'm going to have fun with you, pretty, pathetic girl that you are~ The others call me by my full title, but you? You shall call me Amal, for tonight and every night forward I shall become your divinity. You will come to fear the shadows you tried to hide in when I'm through with you.”

She seemed confused at that but he did not assuage it, instead moving to drag her behind him after an affirming glance at the blonde man.

“Tell the others to do as they wish and then reconvene in my quarters.”

Sochirus giggled beside him, eyes glittering in excitement as he moved to follow them after a nod at the group of drow and high elves alike outside.

“You heard him; but do try not to go overboard, yes?”

#S's stories #S writes #extreme tickle torture #dark tickle torture #supernatural tickling #supernatural tickling fantasies #kidnapping tickle fantasy #tickle fantasies #human k!nk

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sternbilder · 4 years ago

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man i just get so teary eyed thinking about misaeng like. it’s a slice of life so aside from a few scenes of course it doesn’t have these grand displays of comeuppance and heroism! there’s no scrappy underdog that serves karmic justice to some evil incarnate! there’s no dashing, roguish rebel that the masses rally behind to boldly challenge the corrupt status quo!

as bleak as its portrayal of corporate hierarchy and work culture and the job market can be, there’s no power fantasy of extraordinary heroism or of Destroying Capitalism and Smashing The Patriarchy, just the quiet dignity of regular, everyday people doing their best in a world that mostly sucks, full of others like them who are just as driven by their own flaws, motivations, and circumstances...it’s about saying “these stories matter, too,” and idk this show is just. such therapy

#there's that one scene where baek ki accidentally runs into his manager at the sauna #and afterwards the manager calls him out for being jealous of geu rae bc he can tell he's frustrated at having to do the grunge work while #geu rae is getting all the attention with his flashy projects #and he says something about how the thankless invisible work has dignity and importance too #and i know the irl equivalent would be like ''so stop complaining about that damn refactoring work you have to do'' like it's not. that deep #but it IS tho bc fundamentally people want to know that they matter!!! they want to know that they're not struggling alone and in vain!!!#they want to be seen and they want to know that the things that they did were not for nothing!!!!#and like one of baek ki's flaws is that he is insecure and he is petty and jealous and cares too much about what Other People Think of him #but that's what makes him so incredibly human and relatable!!!#and his whole arc with manager kang and his attitude toward geu rae makes me so gd emo. every single time #it's about the WARMTH of human connection babey #The Power of Friendship but like. instead of giving you the power to kill god it gives you the power to survive late-stage capitalism #slams fist on desk.....i just love this show a lot......#cam thoughts #liveblog: misaeng

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thepeoplesboyfriend · 2 years ago

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some words about transsexuality, in honor of my recent deboobing/deboning:

“My cut is of my body, not the absence of parts of my body. The regenerative effort of my cut is discursive; my transfiguring cut is a material-discursive practice through which I am of my body and of my trans self. […] My cut is generative within material limits but not with affective fixity; my tissues are mutable insofar as they are made of me and propel me to imagine an embodied elsewhere.”

“Transsexuals do not transcend gender and sex. We create embodiment by not jumping out of our bodies but by taking up a fold in our bodies, by folding or cutting ourselves, and creating a transformative scar of ourselves.”

- Eva Hayward, Lessons From a Starfish

“I will pioneer a new way, explore unknown powers, and unfold to the world the deepest mysteries of creation.”

- Frankenstein’s Monster, Mary Shelly

“I will swim forever.

I will die for eternity.

I will learn to breathe water.

I will become the water.

if I cannot change my situation I will change myself.

In this active magical transformation

I recognize myself again.

I am groundless and boundless movement.

I am a furious flow.

I am one with the darkness and the wet.

And I am enraged.

Here at last is the chaos I held at bay.

Here at last is my strength. […]”

“Though we forgo the privilege of naturalness, we are not deterred, for we ally ourselves instead with the chaos and blackness from which Nature itself spills forth.”

- Susan Stryker, My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix

“Some people say that there is no gender, that it is a post modern construct, that in fact there are only man and woman and a few marginal confusions. To those people I ask: if your [male] body–fact is enough to establish your gender, you would willingly wear bright dresses and cry at movies, wouldn’t you? You would hold hands and complement each other on your beauty, wouldn’t you? Because your cock would be enough to make you a man.” - Isabel Fall, I Sexually Identify As An Attack Helicopter

“God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason he made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine: because he wants humanity to share in the act of creation. I am only doing the Good Works here on Earth as intended!” - Julian Jarboe

“ i’m a 24 hour living art form, unique on to myself and that’s a damn hard thing to be!“

“I deserve to press a man against my solid hard chest, feel his against mine, and have him feel mine against his. That’s what my heart feels, that’s what I want to express to him. I have learned to love my body—to finally be able to touch my nipples while masturbating and feel sexual about it—and I think I deserve to have my body relax with me. It will be like a miracle to look at myself, to run my hand over my chest, and to feel me.”

“I lay in the sun on the weekend, my skin becoming rich and golden. My body is vibrant with sexuality and tingling with sensation, electrified by every touch.”

- Lou Sullivan, We Both Laughed in Pleasure

“To be able to enter a safe, you must be open to hearing what the safe has to say about itself. To be able to enter your gender, you must be open to hearing what your self has to say about itself. Inside: riches. Inside: sex. Inside: love. Inside: beautiful bloody art. Inside: the chrysalis cracks down the middle, and out springs out a sacred figure with a bird for a head and visible glue and maybe jackelope antlers rising high like TV antennae and maybe vampire fangs implying a sentimental attachment to the rich earth of home, and to this reflection, disco-ball- sparkling, dissolving into the boundaries of my flesh, I say, oh there you are oh there you are oh there you are, oh there—and let the ocean interrupt me as it smacks me full in the face, full of salt and life, my eyes open wide to its sting, its illumination of new worlds and realms of being.” - Raphael Rae, Introduction to Safecracking for Transsexuals

#resources #susan stryker #isabel fall #eva hayward #transsexual #transsexuality #top surgery #raphael rae #lou sullivan #julian jarboe

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galaxysharks · 2 years ago

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You ever have shower-thoughts at 2am for a fandom you havent touched in like 5 years? In fairness, Teen Titans was my shit for like 13~ years, y'all i literally ran out of fanfic to read, it was bad.

Regardless, i was snooping on the tags for Raven again and found this mini-lecture on the semantics of Hell!Demon vs DimensionalRift!Demon in dc, and the author mentioned how much more powerful Raven's story is if she is considered to be this inherently evil creature that chooses good despite her instincts that literally radiate #badvibes off of her.

And i began to hear the rattling of genius within my mostly deserted skull. So now Everyone must bear witness to my unraveling.

K so Trigon is pretty much established to be less Demon and more so Demon God, right? And has thusly fecked his way through the dimensional void, spawning his little half-demon babies, yeah?

Our boy's got 7 children, each forming the living embodiment of humanities worst traits. (As explained via convenient Western Religious analogies).

1. Pride

2. Sloth

3. Wrath

4. Lust

5. Greed

6. Gluttony

7. Envy ( full disclosure, took me 15 min to remember this one, which is sad and funny all on its own. Sorry not sorry dude )

Now, daddy-dearest wanna rule the universe, but needs a ride to do it, so he picks one of his kids, and boom, sudden Anti-christ, fair enough, demon-gotta-demon. So Trigon looks at his selection and chooses his only daughter, that'd be our girl Raven.

This is where i propose, Trigon Fucked Up, and inadvertently provided Raven with the only circumstances that would allow her to defy him.

With his other children, he clearly has total control of them, and to be fair Rae does have several altering factor that could contribute to her breaking free, Azarath and Azar's teachings included. But i dont think she needed them, i think she would have gone against him anyway.

Raven is mentioned to be his most powerful offspring, go off girl, but more importantly, those Sins up there, Our girl is Pride. Trigon chose Pride to be his portal.

( Which btw is the most typically pseudo-fatherly patriarchal bullshit and i am kind of here for it. :D )

Anyway, it is important that the sins are not just strong characteristics within these guys, the are the living fundamental expressions of these concepts. Nothing will ever alter who they are or how they are at their core.

Pride is the only sin that could have failed the portal.

Wrath, Lust, and Greed can be warped into believing it served their own goals

Sloth cant be bothered to fight it

Gluttony sees it as an expansion to their need to consume everything

Envy would do it just to prevent the others from getting there first

But Pride fundamentally cannot allow itself to submit to another. It has to come out on top, second best or equal share isnt good enough.

Raven has to fight him, because to do anything else is to war with her very nature, which is impossible. She can do good because the Sins are simply flaws, not in of themselves damning.

Admittedly i misspoke earlier, Dc Demons are not inherently Evil, they are inherently Malicious, ( which if youve spent any amount of time with preteens you know are not actually the same. )

Raven directs her darker natured instincts at bad guys and her father, still maintaining her nature as Pride, after all she is the most powerful Titan, raw power wise, and she knows it. Pride is content without constantly having to prove herself becuse she lacks the Envy amd Greed that usually come with excessive pride flaws.

Whats funny is that Trigons plan could have worked, if he simply wanted her to take over in his stead, rather than do it himself. But he was never going to do that because he is also Pride, and all the others too, and to do so is against his very nature.

#DC Raven Headcanon #dc comics #Raven #rachel roth #teen titans #Dc Demons #Dc Trigon #trigon the terrible #shower thoughts #but like 2am in bed thoughts #dc Analysis

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lubdubsworld · 4 years ago

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Change of Heart ( Taehyung ) ( Complete.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.

: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!

Genre : Romance, Explicit Content

Chapter 10

“Baby....you up?” Taehyung sleep heavy voice against my ear made me stir, blinking groggily as I tried to make sense of where I was. The window was still dark and I groaned.

“What time is it?” I whispered and I felt the press of his lips against my shoulder, gentle and wet.

“It’s a little past five in the morning.”

I whined in disbelief.

“Why would you wake me up so early?”

I could barely see him in the darkness and I felt my breath catch when he moved to straddle my hips, hovering over me before grabbing the back of my thighs, spreading my legs apart and leaning down till the head of his cock pressed right up against my entrance. I felt myself clenching in anticipation and my body thrummed with the need to be filled, although I was still so sore from last night.

“I’m sorry.... I need to head out but i wanted to...” Taehyung whispered, and I moaned when he kissed me lightly, groaning when he slid right in, cleaving a way inside me, my walls pulsing around the hard length of. I flinched, the dull ache of it making me whimper a little and it took some effort to ground myself, to relax and not seize up against the intrusion. I could feel my heartrate speeding up, the last vestiges of sleep fading into the air.

Taehyung, pressed gentle fingers to my waist, stroking my skin before running them up my torso, soft little touches to my ribs and up to my breasts, cupping the warm weight of them before rubbing his thumb over the tip till my nipples hardened.

“So pretty...like this...” He whispered, pulling out and pushing back in and the movement jarred my insides , drawing a pout onto my lips.

“you’re too big..” I complained and he responded by moving his hands to my knees, gripping the back of them and drawing them up and apart till I choked, spreading me so wide that my thighs screamed in protest, and he laughed at the look on my face .

“We should join a yoga class or something. Your flexibility is atrocious.” He commented mildly and I gasped, affronted.

“What on earth-” He cut me off with a kiss, before grabbing my ankle and throwing my leg over his shoulder and pressing in closer, his cock sliding in even deeper. I choked out, laughing in sheer disbelief because I wasn’t made to bend like that. Nobody was. I was sure of it.

“You’ll get used to it...” Taehyung laughed, “ Get used to me... Get used to my kisses and of course get used to my fat cock in you every damn night. ” he growled and the filthy words made me clench down on him, so hard that i almost cramped up.

He kissed me slowly and I wrapped one arm around his neck, trying to breathe through the stretch of him fucking into me, each push and pull abrasive but amazing. .

I stared at his beautiful face, trying to drink in the features, and I felt myself fall deeper, the look of affection in his gaze somehow so much more arousing than the things he was doing to me. And i realized how badly I wanted this...This and him for the rest of my life.

And in the wake of it came the reminder that +my father was out there.

A powerful man.

A dangerous man who wanted Taehyung gone.

“Are you going to be in danger?” I whispered, pressing my palm against his face and he chuckled. He lightly grabbed my wrist and pressed a kiss to my palm before bringing my hand down to his shoulder and kissing me gently.

“I always am.” He reminded me , lips brushing mine . It was far from reassuring and I gripped his shoulders harder, trying not to let the anxiety take over.

“But you’ll be safe, right?” I demanded, willing him to look me in the eye and Taehyung gave me a soft smile.

“Would you miss me terribly if I was gone?” He grinned and I felt my entire body go ice cold at the very prospect of it , my lips parting and my mouth going sandpaper dry. Taehyung’s smile faded at once, his arms tightening around me.

“Hey...hey... I was just joking...baby. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have joked about that. Rae, I’m going to be fine... Look at me. ” He whispered urgently and I curled my fingers into his shoulders, trying to breathe.

“Hey...Come on, Rae.. Don’t look so scared. ..” He pressed kisses to my cheeks and I swallowed.

“Don’t underestimate my father. Tae....“ I said hoarsely.” He has so much more to lose than you do. He’s desperate and I don’t want you to be blindsided by anything. “ I whispered.

He nodded.

“i know. i won’t. Now come on, let me make you feel good, yeah?” He kissed me again and I hugged him. He picked up the pace, thrusting into me faster and I closed my eyes, gripping his waist and hanging on as he sent my senses into overdrive.

My mind was still too worried to experience any sort of overwhelming pleasure but I liked this.

Liked having him like this, over me, inside me and wrapped all around me,.

It meant he was safe. At least for this moment, he was here and he was safe.

I felt the moment his orgasm hit him, warm wetness spilling into me and I closed my eyes at the sensation, blushing for some reason.

This time i felt him swelling inside me again and I froze, panic starting before I could stop it and he hugged me closer, lips pressing soothing kisses as he stroked my skin, gently soothing.

“it’s okay baby... You’re mine... You were made for me. it won’t hurt... I promise.” He whispered, holding me closer, and I swallowed, bracing myself .

“Oh, God, Taehyung... “ I whispered, burying my face into his shoulder as he pressed in a little deeper and he was right. It didn’t hurt, it felt overwhelming, like it was too much and like I was going to absolutely explode but it didn’t hurt. ....

Taehyung trembled a little, as he tried not to move, his knot lodging itself deep inside me, so deep that the smallest movement sent pin pricks of sensation all over my body. It didn’t even feel weird or animalistic anymore I thought , awed. it felt normal. Felt like us. Him and I locked together. Felt natural. Or maybe the early morning grogginess was making me mellow. Maybe once i had my head on straight, I’d be more terrified.

He groaned into my shoulders, body going lax on top of me and I choked a little because he was heavy, but there was a dull throbbing pleasure in it, the weight of him grounding me.

I stared up at the ceiling, stroking the back of his head as he shuddered a little inside me.

Time seemed endless as he stayed inside me and I felt my eyelids growing heavy, even as I heard his breathing even out.

Wasn’t he supposed to leave?

But I couldn’t bring myself to wake him up.

For a few more minutes, I stayed still, watching the windows grow lighter and as the first rays of the morning sun began spilling into the room, I felt sleep take over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I won’t be going in at all. The Narcotic department is going to handle the whole thing. You know Namjoon and Seokjin right? They’re the one who’re going to be there and they’re going to make sure things go smoot. I’m going to be safe ...in the comfort of my luxurious office .... “ Taehyung’s voice sounded completely steady and firm through the phone and i willed myself to trust him.

Luna sat in my lap, happily sketching on a drawing pad as we sat cross legged in front of the huge French Windows in Jungkook’s apartment. Jungkook himself was in the kitchen, whipping up some milkshakes for us.

I sighed deeply.

“ Can we come over today then? It ends today right?” I asked urgently. I buried my nose in Luna’s hair and the sweet scent of green apple and strawberries made me melt. She turned around to flash me a wide grin, eyes dancing with happiness.

Taehyung didn’t respond for a few seconds. When he did, his voice was low and soothing.

“I’m not sure Rae. These men, they aren’t the kind of people I can take lightly. There are going to be repercussions and I don’t want anything to happen to you or Luna. You’re safe there. Jungkook’s going to stay with you till I come get you and I’ve hired enough men to keep watch. I just need to hang around long enough to make sure we end this cleanly. “

“Okay. I love-”

“Don’t.” He said softly.

I blinked.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s the first time I’m hearing you say that. I’d rather hear it in person.” Taehyung said softly.

I laughed.

“You’re such a sap.”

“Only for you. Now, what is my feral daughter upto?”

“Luna, Dada wants to talk to you...” I handed the phone over to her and she squealed.

“Hi Daddy....” She said cutely. “ When are you coming home daddy?”

I couldn’t hear his side of the conversation but the pout on her face told me that she wasn’t pleased.

“But that’s soooo long....”

“I was drawing . RaeRae showed me how to draw a wolf. It looks angry like daddy.”

“No daddy, I’m being a good girl. I ate a bowl of rice and veggies too.”

“I don’t miss daddy because RaeRae’s here.”

And then she giggled.

“Of course not daddy...you’re both number one.”

A sound at the door made me look up and Jungkook held the door in place with his leg, flipping the doorjamb down before carefully carrying the tray of milkshakes in.

I gently maneuvered Luna off my lap before moving to help him.

“Smells delicious, Mr. Jeon.” I grinned, taking a sip of the chocolate concoction. “Ooh..that's really good.”

“Its a premade mix I added water to.” Jungkook grinned. I laughed.

“ Still a great cook !” I turned to watch Luna who was now flat on her back on the rug and going on about how Jungkook had let her borrow his sketching tab.

“She’s adorable.” He commented with a smile and I hummed.

“When are you heading back to the preserve?” I asked gently and he shrugged.

“Not for a while. Taehyung told me they’re not yet sure how far this whole drug thing has spread. There’s going to be a lot of arrests and protests in the next few weeks. Messing with a wolf’s ability to scent his mate...that’s terrible stuff, Rae. Wolves are gonna be fucking furious. There’s going to be a huge fall out over this and we can only hope it wouldn’t be too violent.”

I swallowed.

“Do you think I could get my job back, at the preserve?”

Jungkook looked surprised.

“You’re not gonna be with Tae?”

I turned to stare at Luna.

“Of course I’ll be with Tae but.. i love my job. I made a difference there. I’m not going to make a good trophy wife. I want to be able to help people in someway, not just hang around in the backdrop.” I said desperately.

Jungkook looked worried.

“I’m not sure if Tae will agree to that Rae. You know how he gets about his job. As his wife you’ll have plenty of stuff to do as it is..,....”

“I’m not his wife...” I muttered under my breath, although it was kind of a useless statement.

“ Umm...you know he’s going to ask you to marry him as soon as possible? You’re already wearing his mark. in fact , in our world you’re already married as far as we’re concerned,” Jungkook pointed at my neck and I rubbed the small scar on my shoulder where he’d bitten me.

“I can still do the things I want to do right? Taehyung isn’t going to lock me up , is he?” I laughed.

Jungkook tilted his head, watching me carefully.

“You don’t know him very well, do you Rae?” He said quietly.

My heart flipped over in my ribcage at the words and the tone with which he said it.

“What-What do you mean?:” I asked , nervous.

Jungkook opened his mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by Luna’s laugh.

“RaeRae!!! Daddy wants to talk to you!!” Luna came bounding over with the phone held out and I took it from her.

“Tae?”

“I’m going to head in now. We’re going to be coordinating with Seoul PD and they’ll send the guys in around 2 hours. You’re going to okay right? I’ll call you when it’s over?”

“Okay, Tae. Stay safe.” I whispered.

“I’ll be just fine. Don’t worry about me. Love you. Both of you. ”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook and i sat on the couch, eyes glued on the TV as the news played out watching the entire country erupt in chaos.

“Fire broke out today on a popular resort in Jeju Do, owned by Hotelier Cha Eun Woo..... Interestingly, the resort had been closed for the weekend with minimal staff and only a few VVIP customers . So far there have been reports of nine casualties, all of them guests including billionaire philanthropist Yoon Jae hyun....”

I felt the breath shudder out of me, equal parts relief and disbelief. Taehyung had closed the whole thing down with minimum fanfare and with no one any the wiser. I knew that the eight men were the major distributors in the entirety of Korea, and that with them gone, it would only be a matter of time before the entire racket collapsed.

“These guys are good.” Jungkook commented mildly and I stared at the screen, fascinated... The whole thing was being written off as an unfortunate tragedy, a gas leak or something.

A small crowd of people in uniforms stood huddled in a corner and I squinted, grinning when I caught sight of Kim Seokjin’s golden blonde head and Kim Namjoon’s tall figure, dressed like waiters. .

I felt my lips quirk at that.

The phone rang just then and I exhaled, “ Taehyung...”

“Did I do good?” He whispered.

I laughed.

“ I think I know now, why you’re an amazing politician Kim Taehyung ssi. “ I said softly.

Taehyung chuckled.

“Real life isn’t like the movies baby.... I suppose you were looking forward to some good old fashioned action sequences and a lot of alpha posturing?” He teased.

I smiled.

“I’m just glad you’re safe. “ I whispered.

“I’m sending a limo to Jungkook’s place. You should come over to my condo. I have a present for you. Will you come? ” He said gently.

Curiosity piqued, “ Of course. I’ll be there. What is it?”

Taehyung laughed softly, his voice deep.

“I think you’ll like it.”

I stared at Jungkook, who could probably hear the conversation.

He had a very odd expression on his face. Part resignation and Part worry.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.. I’m just thinking that I’m lucky...”

“Lucky?”

“That I didn’t think about pursuing you. “

I laughed.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just saying. i wouldn’t want to be on Kim Taehyung’s hit list.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m not. Be careful Rae. He’s a very dangerous man.” Jungkook said quietly, picking up the smaller glass of strawberry milk and lifting Luna up into his arms. i watched him laugh and carry her to the balcony.

And i wondered what that was about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So , what’s the present?” I asked impishly , wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him soundly. He hugged me close, reciprocating with fervor and I moaned into his mouth. I could kiss him forever.

“Patience , little one. It’s on the way. First , tell me is your brother alright? I’ve been trying to reach him but i can’t.” He sounded worried and i felt warmth bloom in my chest.

“Yuggie’s fine. He left his phone somewhere ...i spoke to him on the way here. He’s upset of course but for now, he’s not going to come anywhere near the family business. My father handed things over to his nephew a few years ago is what I heard. Yuggie’s heading back to the States after the funeral.”

“What’s his name? This nephew...do you know? ” Taehyung asked thoughtfully.

“Kim Ji Hoo. He owns a bunch of casinos across the country. When I was in college i once heard him talk about getting girls from somewhere to my dad. I don’t remember where .... ” I said apologetically.

“That’s fine angel. Thank you for telling me... I’ll keep an eye on him.” Taehyung said with a smile.

“So this is it? The drug racket is down??” I asked nervously and he sighed.

“Hardly. We don’t know a lot of things but the Narcs caught a lot of evidence today from these idiots and their laptops and phones. Seokjin and Namjoon are going to head the investigation. We’ll probably not reveal anything to the public until we know the true extent of the operations.”

“Which would be once you get to the local dealers.”

“Yes.... but that is out of my jurisdiction so I’m going to respectfully step away and let them do their job.” He smiled.

“And the whole sex trade thing in Eun Woo’s hotel..What about that?”

“We rescued the girls earlier. There were seventeen of them, three of them underage.” His voice shook a little.

“He’s a monster. I’m glad he’s dead.” I whispered.

A knock on the door made us pull away from each other.

“Speaking off, your present’s here...” He smiled.

Grinning , i turned to the door.

And then the smile froze on my face when I saw who it was.

Seokjin stood framed in the door way, dragging another man in front of him. I couldn’t see who it was because of the black bag over his head.

“Special delivery for Alpha Kim.” He grinned, shoving the man forward till he crashed to his knees in front of me. Seokjin pulled the bag off .

“Taehyung.” I froze in disbelief, staring at the familiar man in front of me , on his knees , bloodied and battered, wrists caught in handcuffs and face swollen and gagged..

Cha Eun Woo was almost unrecognizable.

Taehyung stepped right up behind me wrapping both hands around me in a warm back hug, chin resting on my shoulder as he peered down at the beta wolf.

“Do you like your present?” He whispered, kissing my neck gently.

“Taehyung, what is this?” I said , my fingers shaking a little, my skin icy cold because of how cruel Taehyung looked and sounded, talking down to Cha Eun Woo.

“I thought you’d enjoy a little action, angel... Life get’s boring sometimes if I don’t indulge my wolf once in a while, don’t you think, baby?”

“Tae, no.” i said desperately. “ Let him go. please don’t...”

Taehyung hummed.

“Are you sure baby? You don’t wanna see how us wolves solve things?”

I shook my head frantically.

“No.. No I don’t wanna see you kill another man.” I laughed, voice just a little hysterical because why did this even have to be said. When Taehyung said present I was thinking a bottle of champagne and some roses.... not the prospect of cold blooded murder..... . “ Please.,.just... Don’t.”

Taehyung pulled away from me and moved forward. I stumbled back and away, watching as he reached Eun Woo, hand reaching out to hold the man by his hair, the veins in his hand pulsing from how tight his grip was.

Eun Woo whimpered, moaning out slurred syllables that were impossible to understand because of the gag in his mouth.

“Are you sure angel? “ Taehyung pouted, holding one hand out.. I flinched when his claws popped out , three inches long and sharp as razors.

My throat went dry as he grabbed Eun Woo by the shoulder, claws digging straight in with so much force that blood spurted out .

I whirled around, looking away , pressing my hands to my eyes, a scream forming at the back of my throat threatening to spill out.

Taehyung groaned in disappointment.

“Fine. I won’t kill him.” He said boredly. “ Seokjin...”

I turned back around , staring at him. Taehyung looked as he always did , a soft smile playing around his lips, eyes kind and warm , his voice even tempered and gentle.

But the unconscious man at his feet, the pool of blood spreading out over the carpet , the mangled shoulder..... they didn’t fit into the picture.

And suddenly, I understood just why everyone was afraid of him.

Seokjin appeared at the door. He glanced at Eun Woo and wrinkled his nose.

“Did the bitch pass out again? i swear to God, my grandmother has a higher tolerance for pain than this fucker...” He glanced at Taehyung.

“Tie things up yeah?” Taehyung said evenly and Seokjin nodded, dragging the prone body away.

“You look terrified.” Taehyung smiled, moving to the mahogany sideboard and grabbing a bottle of water. i watched as he casually washed his hands , getting rid of the blood.

“You... Would you have killed him? If I didn’t ask you to stop?”

Taehyung stopped scrubbing under his nails, giving me a look.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you.. do you do this often? Kill people?” I said shrilly.

Taehyung laughed.

“You were plenty happy when I killed your father.” He pointed out.

I swallowed.

“That’s...That’s different.. He’s... He deserved it...”

“And Eun Woo doesn’t? Come on , Rae...what he was doing with those girls was filthy.”

“Yes.. yes but...” i was so confused, my brain refusing to come to terms with the fact that Taehyung, the man i loved, actually killed people. Personally.

“Anyway... you told me to stop and i stopped. Didn’t kill him, right?” He smiled.

I nodded.

“Thank you for letting him live.” I whispered , turning away . I could feel a head ache come on. .

“Oh, i didn’t let him live.... He’s still going to die.” Taehyung said casually.

I whirled around , gaze clashing with his as my lips parted in surprise.

“You.. You said you weren’t going to kill him...” I said hoarsely.

Taehyung blinked at me, looking confused. He grabbed a pure white towel, wiping his wet hands carefully.

“Yes, I said I wouldn’t kill him. Seokjin will.” He said casually.

My entire body went cold at that, sweat gathering on my hairline because of how scared I suddenly was.

“Taehyung ...this isn’t... this scares me.” I whispered, taking a step back.

He laughed at that, moving closer and reaching for me.

“Come now, angel. You know i have to right? Men like Eun Woo don’t change... He’ll find something more vile and awful to do , probably even try to get back at me by trying to hurt you or Luna... i can’t have that can I?”

“So you just...you kill people who get in your way?” I felt like I had been dipped in a vat full of cold water. Taehyung drew me into his arms, hugging me close.

“Only when I am protecting something i value.” He said softly. “ I can’t afford loose ends, Rae. They get tangled together and trip me up. As my wife, i expect you to trust me. Trust that i won’t do anything without reason.”

“I’m not your wife.” I said dully, feeling just a little overwhelmed.

“Semantics.” He brushed my words off easily, pulling back to rub his fingers across my cheeks.

“I’m being sworn in officially, tomorrow. I want you by my side on the podium. You and our daughter. I know its going to be new to you... My world. But I think you’ll like it. I’m the king there and I want you to be my queen. ” He kissed me gently.

I stared at him, this man who i loved because of the side of him I had seen so far. The kind, considerate father, the passionate leader and the tenderly sweet lover.

But then i remembered the cold cruelty with which he had dug his claws into Eun Woo, who was after all a childhood friend of his. Was this the other side of Kim Taehyung’s perfection? Was he also a ruthless , heartless man who would do anything to protect his interests , destroy anyone who got in his way?

I pulled back an away .

“Taehyung are we rushing into this? I... do you think we should slow down? Maybe date a little and-”

He didn’t reply, his face unreadable.

“And where do you intend to live?” He said quietly. “ You don’t have a job.”

“The preserve....”

“....no longer hires humans. The law came through last week.”

It was like a knife slashed right through my insides.

“What?” i whispered, confused.

Taehyung inhaled sharply.

“We talked about this? There are a lot of qualified weres who don’t have a job, who cannot find work here in the mainland.”

“And what about me? The preserve is the only place where there’s a laboratory studying werewolf microbiology which is kind of what I’ve majored in. I can’t work anywhere else .” I said softly.

Taehyung sighed.

“Baby, hear me out... As my wife, you’ll be heading charities, working with the most intelligent people in the country , running organizations that directly help improve quality of life for underprivileged weres everywhere. It is so much bigger than anything you could accomplish in that tiny laboratory in the island. “

“So, I just move in with you right away?” I asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

Taehyung gave me that same, maddeningly rational look.

“The customs department is going to go through your father’s assets... Everything he owned is going to come under scrutiny and I’m sure his wealth is going to dwindle to nothing once they’re through with him. As it is, I know he wrote you out of his will. If you’re going to insist on working some minimum wage job , living in a dilapidated apartment somewhere just because you think, we’re going too fast...” He smiled, “ I’m going to have to put my foot down.”

And in a moment of startling clarity I just knew exactly what he’d done.

“You planned this didn’t you? “ I blinked at him. “ It’s surreal, all these pieces falling into place so perfectly..... You knew I would want to go back to my job in the preserve . That i would never agree to marry you so quickly. Why else would you rush a law like that? “

Taehyung didn’t reply.

“i know how laws are passed Taehyung. You must’ve put quite the pressure on your bosses, to pass such a mundane law so fast...”

He stared back at me without an ounce of guilt in his gaze.

“I won’t apologize for wanting my mate by my side.” He said evenly.

“Will you apologize for being a cunningly manipulative bastard, then ?”

“you’re over reacting...” He said calmly.

“Am I, Taehyung?” I said sharply. “ It’s been a week since I found out i was your mate. A week.... And now suddenly, i have your mark on my neck, no possibility of getting my job back and no other option but to cling to you.... I’d say I’m reacting how any woman would react.... You played me like a fiddle and I’ve been dancing to your tune all along. “

Taehyung sighed.

“You make it sound like I’ve done something terrible. “

“ Haven’t you?? “ i demanded.

“ No, I haven’t. I love you. I care for you deeply and so does my daughter. She needs you as much as i do and she loves you so much. Your own family is almost non existent right now. your brother is three thousand miles away and I am here offering you my love, my home and the chance to be a part of my family. Tell me what are you losing out on? Tell me what it is I’ve taken away from you?”

My choice, I thought with clarity. You’ve taken away my right to make that choice.

He held my face gently, thumbs brushing across my cheeks.

“I know you’re frightened. But trust me. I’m going to be here by your side. Eun Woo dies today, not because of those girls he destroyed but because of you. Because he dared touch you , knowing you were mine . Tomorrow the whole country will know it and no one will dare to even breath wrong in your direction. Because they know what your mate is capable of.”

He pressed a kiss to my forehead and I let him hug me, staring over his back at the opposite wall.

The painting on the wall caught my eye.

A beautiful, dainty gazelle, cornered against the edge of a huge cliff, staring down the barrel of a hunter’s gun. And on her side, a big beautiful wolf , gorgeous and tempting as it seemed to call for her. And it was obvious that in her panic , she was going to run into the arms of the wolf.

Not knowing that the wolf was just as dangerous, just as deadly as the hunter and the cliff edge.

I closed my eyes hugging him tight.

I was so tired.

“Tell me you’ll marry me. “ Taehyung’s hypnotic voice wove its spell over me, soft and soothing and filled with all the reassurances a naïve young girl would ever need.

I took a deep breath, trembling in his arms when i exhaled.

And then I replied.

The End

~~~~~~~~

Author’s note : Tell me how much you hate me.

Taehyung isn’t a saint wbk. So of course there’s going to be a sequel.

Soon. Hopefully.

Taglist : @veronawrites

@ladyartemesia

@bumb1e-bee

@jeonlovescoffee

@bonyg

@unicornbabylover

#taehyung smut #taehyung fics #taehyung fanfic #Taehyung werewolf fic #taehyung werewolf au #bts werewolf au #bts #bts fic #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts angst #taehyung angst

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lozzypoz321 · 4 years ago

Text

Word count: 1235

A/N: someone requested this in a comment and I can’t remember who it was but here it is!!

Warnings: anxiety, mentions of abuse,

Steve Rogers daughter with fire powers headcanon

You had been made as an experiment.

Made in HYDRA. They’d given you fire powers to battle with

You had spent most of your childhood there

You had never known your father as a young childhood

Although you’d always had Bucky as a father figure

Whether he was under control or not, he never harmed you

Once Steve had found you one day in a base (after TWS) he had two different feelings

Part of him was happy he had a daughter

The other side of his brain was telling him to push you away so he didn’t mess up as a dad but he knew that wouldn’t help

And anyway, Bucky would personally beat him up if he even considered giving you up

Before long he found out you had powers

He didn’t find out straight away as you didn’t like using the fire

It was quite funny really, you were afraid of yourself and what you could do

But before long Loki, himself had helped you gain control and be comfortable with it

After that it turned into a game

The team knew you could do damage with it; you could light up the whole of New York if you wanted to

So it was safe to say they were on edge when you got angry

One time Sam had stolen your camera and erased all of its footage and your eyes started to glow red

Everyone was stood back in the furthest corner of the room, afraid you would set them aflame

All except Bucky

He knew you wouldn’t hurt anyone, he’d known you since a baby and everything you did was to try to help people. No matter whether they’ve caused you pain or not

So he knelt in front of you, his hand reached out close to yours as if asking for permission to touch you

And to everyone’s surprise, instead of killing someone, you burst into tears, reaching forward and bringing the soldier into a hug.

Sam felt bad after that for making you upset

Something else that scared the team was when you casually clicked your fingers, alighting a fire and then putting it out again, just casually.

They had a reason to be scared though.

Many times (on accident of course) you had lit people on fire by them just making you jump

It was a natural reaction.

You’d never been to school before so to say it was a relief when your dad said you could be homeschooled online was an understatement

It wasn’t that you didn’t know anything

No.

Tony and Bruce were there to teach you when you grew up in the tower

It was that other children were at schools and you thought they wouldn’t take kindly to someone who could turn them into a human torch with one click of a finger

The more you grew older the closer you grew to your father

He was there for you when you started to become distant from the hate you were receiving online

He was there when you struggled with training and started to give up on yourself

He was there when you had to stay in the towers hospital for two months after you’d accidentally burned yourself through your skin, nearly reaching the bone

He wasn’t, however there when Peter accidentally pushed you off the roof

You were very thankful that day that Tony’s suites were always on standby

Bucky and your dad were furious

Wanda had to literally put a protective bubble around the teenager to stop them both from launching at him

You were sure that they wouldn’t even think about actually doing it if they weren’t drunk on anger

The back of their minds was nagging them to think about what would’ve happened if the suite didn’t catch you.

If you weren’t here with them right now.

Neither of them wanted to even entertain the idea in their heads

Without failure, Fridays were the best days to be at the tower

Thor and Loki came back from Asgard to play board games with you

Peter spent the night there so everyone could play Wii after

And Sam brought over some of his homemade pancakes for everyone

You all ate them after the takeout though

Everybody always ended up in an abundance of blankets on the sofa though without even realising

Your dad loved to have Thursday dinners with just the two of you

Sometimes letting you alight the stove with your fire powers

You both tried to be as honest as you could with each other

Although sharing emotions wasn’t exactly your strong point

Especially when it came to being scared

One night the power had gone off, meaning most of the tower was technically useless

It also didn’t help when 30 minutes later it started thundering

Apparently, Thor couldn’t do anything about it

So there you were, alone in your bedroom shaking like a baby, as the thunder sounded from outside

You probably wouldn’t have been found if your dad hadn’t have come in to ask you to use your powers to cook the chicken on the stove as the power was out

But when he did, he instantly rushed over

Dropping the packet and kneeling in front of you

Tears stained your cheeks as he gently wiped them away with the pad of his thumb

He, or any other member of the team, didn’t know about your fear of thunder and lightning, so it was a surprise to him but he tried to mask it by being calm for you

“it’s okay, you’re safe doll”

Once you’d calmed down, he returned the food downstairs and instead grabbed some movies to drown out the noise from outside and some ice cream

You both watched Harry Potter films for the next couple hours, eating until the storm would blow over

Halfway through, Clint had come looking for the two of you

He didn’t expect to see you both wrapped up in blankets and snoring softly with Sirius Blacks voice sounding in the background

Nobody was better than you at monopoly

If there was a game (which was unlikely as they all knew what the outcome would be) then you would easily win

It also caused a lot of drama in the compound

“HOW DARE YOU!”

“WE ARE FAMILY. YOU CAN’T JUST PUT ME IN JAIL”

“ACTUALLY, I THINK I JUST DID.”

One time Thor actually threatened to bring thunder down on the tower if he didn’t get his house

That certainly shut you up

“Why are you guys so damn loud?” You asked with a groan

“Language (Y/N)” Bucky scolded making Steve narrow his eyes at him

“One time man”

When you first went on a mission, you were forced to go with your uncle Bucky and dad

They didn’t let you out of their sight the whole time

Which you supposed was fair enough since you were known to be accident prone

“(Y/N) stay behind Buck” your dad ordered in his captain voice as you all readied to bust into an experiment room

They were one of the most protective pair in the universe

But they were proud of how you grew up and handled being enhanced

Everyone was.

@marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever @hera-the-writer @lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @xbongox @rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @js3639 @am3l1a-24 @bonkybarnes107 @ilovemarvel-andcats @vickcat (lined through are untaggable)

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bookgeekgrrl · 2 years ago

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My media this week (31 Jul-6 Aug 2022)

'ʰᵉ'ˢ…ᶠᶦⁿᵉ'

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🙂 👂‍ Evil Under The Sun (Hercule Poirot #24) (Agatha Christie, author; David Suchet, narrator) - once again a decent enough mystery but kind of one dimensional characters with so much misogyny

😊 The Useful Uncle (The Adventures of Nick & Carter #5) (Frank W Butterfield, author) - I just genuinely love that this series has taken Nick from basically a sort of gay Sam Spade to someone who gets a personal call from the queen of England asking him to deal with a rogue former CIA agent on a murder binge.

😊 The Seductive Sellout (The Adventures of Nick & Carter #6) (Frank W Butterfield, author)

🥰 👂‍ The Hollow (Hercule Poirot #26) (Agatha Christie, author; Hugh Fraser, narrator) - some really excellent character work in this one; one of those times where AC really gets the complexity of humans. plus Lucy Angkatell, my ADHD queen.

🥰 👂‍ Five Little Pigs (Hercule Poirot #25) (Agatha Christie, author; Hugh Fraser, narrator) - another really excellent bit of character and structure and plotting - definitely one of my faves, even with the whole 'a man should be allowed to behave as badly as he wants because he's a genius' thing

🙂 Rookie Mistake (On the Board #1) (Anna Zabo & L.A. Witt, authors) - honestly, this was kind of meh for me but definitely bc plot choices etc didn't click with me, not because it was bad

💖💖 +202K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

I'd Burn the Castle for You (AidaRonan) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 3K - HOW does aida put so much emotional weight into so few words????

Ring 'Round My Finger, Ringing My Phone (fandomfluffandfuck) - MCU: Stucky, 10K - no powers daddy kink AU, hot hot hot af

More than the Sum of our Faults (Oh_i_swear) - MCU: shrunkyclunks, 15K - bonding over dogs! 😊🥰

The Prettiest Boy in Hawkins, Indiana (AidaRonan) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 11K - vamp!eddie + subby steve = 🔥🔥🔥

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

The Brokenwood Mysteries - s8, e6 - and now I gotta wait another year for more 😢

Only Murders In The Building - s2, e7

What We Do In The Shadows - s4, e5

Harley Quinn - s3, e1-4

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Desert Island Discs - Adele, singer and songwriter

Decoder Ring - The Most Famous Poet No One Remembers - this was absolutely fascinating and I loved it but also: excuse me, my friend group & I have been loving Rod McKuen for over 30 years now!

Switched on Pop - "It's About Damn Time" for Another Lizzo #1

99% Invisible #502 - 99% Vernacular: Volume 3

Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - MicroHertz #4: Ask Dallas

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Concrete Animals of Mexico

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Underwater Places

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Ottoman Bird Palaces

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Blue Whale of Catoosa

You're Dead To Me - Black Georgian England

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

'70s Mellow Gold

Luscious Jackson

Presenting The Prodigy

Presenting Phil Collins

Presenting Crosby, Stills & Nash

Presenting Kenny Loggins

The B-52's

Journey

Carly Rae Jepsen

#sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits #bookgeekgrrl's soundtracks #of course i had to make the image the 'oral sex substitution' scene #i really just love this show so much #i'm gonna miss it #harley quinn animated series #agatha christie #hercule poirot #the adventures of nick and carter #disappointingly had to nope tf out of a fic that i was otherwise enjoying bc cigarette smoking is a huge squick for me #and it was like a major focus of the literally *all* the sexy times in this fic #that's one of those things i wish authors tagged for tbh #ah well them's the breaks #fanfic ftw #the brokenwood mysteries #only murders in the building #what we do in the shadows #decoder ring podcast #rod mckuen #switched on pop podcast #20k hz podcast #99% invisible podcast #atlas obscura podcast #you're dead to me podcast #carly rae jepsen #the b 52's #the prodigy #luscious jackson

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flyingkiki · 4 years ago

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Curiosity (10/11)

Hello, my loves! Sending you a #TimRae update your way. We’re this close to rounding this up. I cannot wait to focus on some of my other work. Because, as promised, my other #TimRae stories will solely focus on our #TimRae 2021 Year of Smut and Steam dreams. (Send in your Steamy requests!!!)

Enjoy!

All his muscles were screaming once Tim dismounted from his motorbike. An unmasked Batman was being treated by Alfred at the med bay once he walked into the cave. He quickly noted that both Bruce and Alfred were not pleased, though he assumed that was because of the demon attack tonight.

“I cannot wait to go back to my apartment and sleep for the next 48 hours,” Tim groaned and pulled his cowl back. Sinking into an empty chair, he grabbed one of the instrument tables and rolled it towards him. He could get a head start at cleaning out some of the claw marks in his arm.

“Raven is not with you?” Bruce asked, brows furrowed in concern while Alfred continued to stich up his shoulder.

Tim blinked and stopped removing his other glove. “She’s not here?” he scanned the med bay and looked over towards the main cave hall. Empty. “She said she’d teleport here,”

Alfred snipped off the thread from Bruce’s shoulder. “Miss Raven has not checked in nor has she arrived here since she left the warehouse location 30 minutes ago,” he informed. Tilting his head towards the concerned man, Alfred stared at Tim. “We thought she might have decided to catch a ride with you, given the extent of her injuries from Master Bruce’s account,”

Tim frowned as he grew increasingly worried. It wasn’t like Raven to miss a debrief or disappear without telling them. He pulled up his mini-computer on his arm and tried to call Raven through her communicator. Nothing. Tim blinked. He tried locating her. Nothing.

“Her communicator has been off for the last 30 minutes. Her last ping was from the warehouse before she turned it off just before teleporting out,” Bruce stared at Tim with a mild hint of worry in his stoic face. He watched as Tim typed a few more commands into his computer but obviously received no update when his brows drew closer in confusion. “I don’t think anything happened. She might just have wanted some time to herself, after,” he paused and tried to find the right words. “Tonight,”

Tim logged off his computer and slumped into his chair, sighing heavily. He shot Bruce a torn look as tonight’s fight, and ultimately the end of their case (finally), replayed in his mind. He saw how broken Raven looked. It made his chest tighten. It seemed about right that she might want time for herself. “Yeah,” he breathed and ran his hand over his face. What a night.

“Would you have any idea where she might be, Master Tim?” Alfred tapped the last gauze on Bruce’s arm and straightened to look at Tim. “From what heard I’d prefer that all of you are here and taken care of,” he eyed the bloodied arm of his younger charge in disdain. “Before any of you die of an infection,”

The claw marks where throbbing in acknowledgement and Tim absently watched as Alfred continued his work on Bruce’s back. Alfred was right. Leaning back into his chair, he tried to recall potential places were Raven might have gone to. Thinking of significant places from their conversations, it wasn’t like she knew a lot of places outside from their patrols. Unless –

“I’ll look for her. Though I think I know where she is,” Tim sprang out of his chair and pulled his gloves back on. Not waiting for any response from Bruce and Alfred, he pulled his cowl over his head. “We’ll be back, Alfred,” he called as he mounted his motorbike and quickly drove out of the cave.

The drive towards Gotham Cemetery was quick and Tim arrived without any interruption. After a quick scan on his computer, Tim drove through the empty cemetery and he quickly found what he was looking for.

Raven sat in front of a neglected tombstone, form hunched over and legs drawn close to her body. Hood pulled over her head, Tim approached her small form cautiously. His chest tightened at the sight of her small form, realizing just how small the Titan could be. A black raven stood on the tombstone in front of her, it curiously turned its head towards Tim’s approaching form. The raven’s beady red eyes glistened in the moonlight.

Tim paused a few steps away from her and silently debated what he should do. He could still see some cuts and cruises on her legs and the way her right arm hung at limply he knew that the shoulder was dislocated. He could barely see her face, hood drawn and face lowered at an angle. Unsure of what to do next, Tim tentatively stepped closer towards her and finally just settled down next to her on the ground. His body groaned at the movement, muscles strained and he was sure there was a bruised rib somewhere in the mix. Sighing softly into the cold evening air, he stretched his legs out in front of him for some comfort and glanced at the tombstone.

Arella Roth.

Daughter. Mother.

Silence fell on them as Tim patiently waited for Raven to say something. His throat tightened at the weathered tombstone. Recalling the evenings events and the image of Raven on the altar, an eerie image of her mother’s own sacrifice had his chest tighten. He silently wondered how this mission took a turn and became so personal from just being a simple demon hunt.

“Hey,” he whispered after he settled down next to her.

“There’s really nothing buried here,” Raven’s voice was barely audible, muffled by her thick cloak and Tim had to lean in just a fraction of an inch. “Her parents buried an empty coffin here,”

Tim swallowed as his chest constricted and he watched as the edges of her frayed cloak ruffled in the light evening wind. “I few months after I joined the Titans I came to Gotham to try to find my mother’s parents. I couldn’t find them,” Tim listened to her soft voice. He inhaled softly as she paused, seeming to gather her thoughts. Raven’s grandparents died shortly after a pregnant Arella was taken to Azarath – just a freak car accident along Gotham’s busy freeway.

“I found this grave instead. Her parents must have buried her shortly after the monks took her to Azarath,” Raven continued. With a soft sigh, she used her left her hand to push her hood back. Tim stared at her blank face, trying to catch any emotion. She looked worse to wear with a large bruise blossoming on her face and dried up blood and dirt caked on her face.

“I went to back Azarath to see if I could find anything of hers to take back to earth to burry here. But there really wasn’t anything left in Azarath. Father destroyed everything,” Dark purple-blue eyes blinked and Raven pressed her cracked lips together tightly. “Everything.” She sighed softly.

Tim watched as Raven turned her head a fraction of an inch to look in his direction. His breath caught his throat at the sight of her broken look in her eyes. “I killed everyone on Azarath because I was stupid and reckless. I didn’t listen to Azar. I killed everyone on Azarath and my mother. And I couldn’t even find a scarp of cloth in the wreckage,”

“But you didn’t kill them. Trigon did,” He read her file. He knew this story – the horrifying narrative of a child unknowingly summoning a demon and watching an entire civilization being wiped out in a blaze of fire and destruction. No child should ever be subjected to such carnage. It made his stomach churn. “Raven,” he breathed, worry seizing his chest.

Raven broke contact and her lips curled into a pained wry smile. Her gaze dropped and Tim watched her dark eyes stare at the tombstone. “I know,” she whispered, her voice strained. “But it really doesn’t wash the blood away from my hands. Or make me forget what I am,”

“Who you are,” Tim corrects immediately, a little breathlessly as he watches the Raven’s torn face. He leaned forward just a little bit, torn between reaching out and touching her or just giving her space. He watched her eyebrows draw close and blink in a pained way at his words and Tim drew back a little bit to give her space. “You’re Raven,”

“I am my father’s daughter, that doesn’t change. You saw that tonight. I felt it,” The rage and power briefly flashed in her mind. Her lips drew into a bitter smile and she turned back to her mother’s tombstone. “Tonight was just a wonderful reminder of how truly close I am of being the demon my father always wanted me to be,”

“You’re Raven,” repeated Tim turning to Raven and drawing his eyebrows together. “So you’re half-demon. Your father is Trigon. So what?” Tim watched Raven open her mouth to protest but he carried on, not giving her a chance to butt in. “This heritage shit does not define you. You define yourself. And from what I’ve heard and seen you do, you’re doing a damn excellent job being a far better human than most of us. You took down Trigon, saved the planet countless of times, and saved way too many lives we could ever count,”

Tim drew his legs closer to him and crawled a fraction of an inch closer to her. He watched as a few emotions flashed in her eyes. “I’m sorry this mission led up to what happened tonight, Raven. You of all people do not deserve all the things that happened to you in the past and tonight. You have every right to feel angry and sad, and every other emotion you are feeling right now. What happened tonight was a terrible,” he drew in a steady breath and watched Raven’s dark eyes widen. Tim smiled at her softly. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, Raven. There’s so much hope in you. You’re smart, powerful, and beautiful, Rae,” He quirked his lips just a little bit when Raven blinked and inhaled softly. “You’re pretty amazing. You are so much more than what happened in the past and you have a whole army of friends with you,” he said.

Raven seemed to stare at him for a moment longer, searching his eyes, before sighing softly and the tension in her shoulders eased slowly. He watched as her shoulders slumped and she swallowed thickly, a broken look crossing her face and she turned her gaze back to her mother’s tombstone. “I hate what happened to my mother. Tonight I felt exactly what she felt when they sacrificed her to my father. It was painful,” she said, her voice soft.

Tim’s gaze softened and he frowned. “You and your mother did not deserve that, Raven,” he said.

Raven drew her legs closer and dropped her chin to her knees. She sighed softly. “At least it’s over,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Tim replied and slowly stretched his legs out in front of him again. They settled back into a heavy silence, allowing them to silently process tonight’s events. Tim knew she needed more time.

“How did you find me?” Raven asked after some time had passed.

“You mentioned that your mother was from Gotham when we stopped at a stoplight near the cemetery. I kind of took a guess,” Tim explained with a soft smile.

Raven returned the gesture with a smile of her own. “That seemed like a long shot,”

Tim shrugged. “I had a hunch,” he said.

Raven frowned as she finally caught sight of his torn uniform and bloody shoulder and thighs. “You’re hurt,” she said, slowly drawing her legs towards her and sitting up on her knees. “Let me heel you,” she said, bending towards him and reaching out with a soft glowing hand.

Tim caught her wrist as gently and stared into her confused eyes. “You’re worse to wear, you need to conserve your energy,” he said.

“It’s okay. It makes me feel human,” she said. Offering him a wry smile as he looked ready to disagree, Raven pressed on and slipped out of his grasp. She briefly glanced at him as she felt his jumbled emotions and pressed a glowing hand on his injured shoulder.

“I’ll heal faster than you,” she said, voice low as she concentrated on his shoulder wound and the rest of his injuries. Tim felt the subtle hum of her powers and that strange gentle tingle that came with Raven’s healing powers, something he wasn’t quite used to but still found incredibly fascinating. He stared at her face as she concentrated, brows drawn together and lips pressed into a soft frown. While entranced at the soft glow that seemed to radiate off her skin, he felt his worry gnaw viciously in his stomach.

“I can feel your worry,” Raven said, looking up at his gaze and sending him a soft bemused smile. Turning back to his wounds, her gaze softened and she watched the gashes disappear. Sighing softly at the tingle of energy spent, Raven pulled back and sat kneeled in front of him. Ignoring the press of his stare, she quickly glanced at Tim’s torn uniform making sure she did not miss anything. “All good?”

Tim sighed in resignation, knowing well that she would not yield from his worry. Tim tilted his head a little and offered a small smile, taking in her determined look. “Yeah, thanks,” he said.

He watched as she nodded, catching his stare and offered him another soft smile. Tim waited for her to collect herself and make the next move. He silently watched as her gaze dropped and she shifted slowly, inching towards him and gently settle next to him. With a soft sigh, Raven leaned into his side and laid her head onto his fully healed shoulder and sighed. “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered.

Tim felt his chest tighten as he watched her press into him and stare at her mother’s tombstone. Very carefully her curled his arm around her and held her closer. She released a soft, almost broken sigh. Tim leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. “I’ll always be here,” he whispered.

They settled like that for a while, a heavy silence filling the cold evening air. Tim shifted slightly, moving his cape around her as the cold evening wind seeped slowly into their worn uniforms. Tim knew she needed her space and silently listened to her breathe. While he wished he could do more for Raven, he knew she needed her time. He could wait.

Not wanting to rush into her space, his gloved fingers pressed gently into her forearm, offering a firm grounding and support. They danced gently across her arm, tracing random patterns into her skin while they listened to each other’s breathing. A few moments later, Raven shifted her arm and gently coaxed his gloved hand into hers. Tim felt her fingers squeeze around his hand and he drew her just a fraction of an inch closer, as a familiar welcome warmth spread through his chest. Sighing softly in content, he pressed his cheek against her head and they settled comfortably against each other.

Tim lost track of the time they spent settled together. They did come to their senses as a particularly cold gust of wind pushed past them, ruffling their hair and biting their cheeks. Raven’s hair tickled his nose and he felt her press into him as she chased some warmth. Smiling fondly down at her, he squeezed her hand. She responded in kind and slowly pulled back.

Despite the bruising that blossomed on her face and the thick trail of dried blood, Tim watched transfixed as moonlight spilled over the curves of her cheeks. It offered a rather ethereal glow. Raven quirked her lips slightly as she felt his soft press of emotions.

“Better?” he asked, voice soft in the evening.

Raven nodded. “Yeah,” she mumbled. Finally, after long days of wrecked emotions, she felt some semblance of peace. Feeling Tim’s warm emotions press into her offered her some comfort. Catching Tim’s relieved smile, Raven sighed and pitched forward to press a gentle kiss into the corners of Tim’s lips. “Thank you,” she mumbled into his skin.

Catching her chin as she pulled away, Tim held her face and returned the simple gesture with a soft press of a kiss onto her cheek. Humming softly, he felt her cheeks move against his lips as she smiled softly. Sighing, he gathered her into his arms and offered a warm hug.

“Read to go home?” Tim asked, mumbling softly into her hair.

“Yeah,”

They took his motorbike back to the cave. The ride was uneventful and silent as Tim navigated them through the empty roads of Gotham. Once they made it back to the cave, Batman had thankfully already gone off to bed. Since there were still a few scrapes and bumps (and what Tim suspected to be a dislocated shoulder for Raven) to tend to, they hit the showers before taking care of some of their injuries (mostly Raven’s) and heading off to bed.

After a much needed hot shower and changing into comfortable sweatpants and one of Jason’s old t-shirts, Tim puttered around the med bay pulling out bandages and antiseptic for Raven. After a quick check in the showers, it looked like Raven had healed all of his injuries. Tim thought of the extent of Raven’s injuries and wondered if she’d still be able to heal herself fully tonight. He had no doubt in her powers but tonight was –

“I can hear you thinking all the way in the showers,”

Tim turned around and stared at a very bemused Raven. Out of her uniform and dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms and a terribly oversized Superman t-shirt, she looked tiny. Returning her smile, he watched her carefully rub her towel into her hair with one hand and walk towards the med table where he had laid out some medical supplies. “Well, it’s been quite a night,” he said as he walked over towards her.

Raven hummed in agreement and carefully hoisted herself up on the med table. Tim noted how she favored her left hand. She resumed towel drying her hair with her good hand. “So glad that’s over,” she mumbled.

“So, injuries?” Tim asked, stepping up closer to her and watching her carefully. Raven dropped the black towel onto her lap and she shrugged as she sent him a wry smile, knowing that he already knew. “Set my shoulder, please?” she asked.

They should have set her shoulder earlier, but Tim decided not to comment. Nodding, he moved to her right side. Gingerly taking her elbow with one hand and holding her shoulder with the other, he briefly glanced at Raven. “This is going to hurt,” he said. Raven shrugged. “Okay,” he breathed, concentrating on her shoulder. Extending her arm, he watched her wince at the movement, and guided the ball of her arm back into her socket. Raven inhaled sharply at the pain and a pained look crossed her face.

“Thanks,” Raven breathed and offered him a small smile.

“Anything else?” Tim gently asked, while grabbing one of their slings for Raven to use for her arm.

Raven eyed the sling in disdain. “I don’t need that,” she said while placing a soft glowing hand on her shoulder to heal her shoulder.

Tim rolled his eyes and went ahead to wrap the sling around her arm. “Humor me,” he said and threw a teasing smile over his shoulder as he proceeded to wrap her arm in the sling. “You can take it off once you’re in your room. Just allow it to rest for a little bit while you heal,” he instructed.

“Alright, doctor,” Raven retorted, mood lightly lifting. Tim was glad to see the subtle mood change. He smiled at her and picked up a cotton ball and the bottle of antiseptic.

“So, anything else?” he asked again while sitting down next to her and gently tilting her head to the left to get better access to a small gash on her head.

“I healed mostly everything while in the shower,” Raven said while allowing him to clean out the gash on her head. That explained why it took so long for her in the showers, Tim realized. “Just mostly sore and tired now,” she said.

“Well, you can get a good night’s rest tonight,” Tim said lightly as he dabbed some antiseptic on the gash on her head. He watched Raven make a face.

“I’ll probably sleep through the weekend when I get back to the tower,” she said. Tim blinked in realization, right – the mission was done. Raven was going back to the Titans now. He ignored how his stomach churned unpleasantly and Tim swallowed thickly. He dabbed the gash on her head one last time. “Right,” he breathed and pulled his hand away. “All done,” he announced slowly and pulled away.

Catching the subtle shift of his emotions, Raven offered him a small smile. With her leaving soon, there was still a lot to talk about. Feeling her chest flutter, Raven caught Tim’s gaze and grabbed his upper arm, stilling his movements. Deciding not to overthink things, she leaned into his space and kissed him on the lips. Sighing softly in content at his immediate response and the warm press of his emotions, Raven pressed into his space further and allowed Tim to deepen the kiss. Hot breath feathered over her parted lips as Tim slipped his hand below her chin and tilted her head just the right way.

The kisses were long and lingering that left her breathless and chasing for his warmth. Her fingers dug into his arm and she felt strong muscles move under her fingertips as he held onto her waist for leverage. She could feel her chest flutter and her body warm in response. Raven felt Tim shift closer, fingers dancing along the length of her neck, and he pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek before slowly pulling away with a long drawn breath.

“Hey,” Raven exhaled and offered Tim a small smile as he drew his thumb over her cheek.

“Hey,” Tim smiled, whatever tension he held earlier eased off his shoulders. Catching her amused smile and her deep gaze, Tim knew they’d figure something out. He really did not want to miss this opportunity with her. “C’mon,” he said lightly and tugged her gently off the med table. “It’s late, you need to rest after saving Gotham,”

Raven chuckled softly and allowed herself to be gently steered out of the med bay and through the cave. They walked up the stairs and out of the Batcave silently, keeping close to each other. She’d catch Tim’s curious gaze once in a while as they walked through the manor and up to the bedroom quarters. His emotions curiously pressing into her.

They stopped at her door and Raven silently wondered how long she could stay in Gotham before she’d have to return to Jump. She could feel Tim silently hover behind her, a gentle presence, as she wordlessly opened her door. Turning around, she casually leaned against her doorframe and looked up at Tim. “Thanks for tonight, Tim,” she said.

Tim chuckled lowly, chest warm as he watched the amused look that crossed Raven’s face. “For setting your shoulder? Sure, you’re welcome,” he said teasingly. He watched an amused smile blossom on Raven’s face and he wondered just much more time he could have with her.

Raven rolled her eyes at the soft banter and crossed her arms, ignoring how her sore muscles screamed in protest. Her chest fluttered at his presence, appreciating his patience and care towards her. Something achingly familiar stirred within her as she enjoyed his curious attention. “Well yeah,” she breathed. The corner of her lips twitched as Tim grinned back at her. “Among other things,”

“Anytime,” Tim breathed and smiled softly back at her. They stared at each other briefly, shadows cast over their faces from the soft glow of moonlight that filtered through the window down the hall. Tim swallowed, silently wondering what to do next. Searching her face, he felt his own face warm. It’s certainly been a while since he fumbled around like this. Sighing and release a soft chuckle, Tim took a step back. Time for bed. “Well,” he breathed. “You should rest. I’ll see you tomorrow – err, later? Good night, Rae.”

“Yeah,” Raven breathed. She watched him turn and she blinked in realization. With her heart in her throat she stepped forward and grabbed his arm. “Wait,” she whispered. Tim stopped and looked down at her hand before looking at her face in silent surprise. “Wait,” she repeated and let go of him and offered him a timid smile.

“Do you,” she tilted her head and blinked, mulling over her words. She watched him stare at her curiously, that familiar press of his emotions gently brushing against her. She smiled up at him. “Do you think we can watch a movie for that date your promised?” she asked.

Oh, the date, Tim remembered. He smiled and nodded, relieved that she would still want to do that. “Yeah, we can pick something out tomorrow,” he paused and chuckled. “Later,”

Raven shifted and the corner of her mouth twitched again, something she did when she was on the verge of asking something teasingly. “I was thinking now?” she asked and she took a step back towards her door in invitation. Tilting her head towards her room, she offered him a tentative smile, heart hammering loudly in her ears. “I’m not sleepy, and after tonight, it’d be nice to have some company,” she paused and shifted again under his curious gaze. “You did promise a date?”

Tim released a breath he was unknowingly holding and chuckled softly, running his hand through his damp hair. “Yeah, I did,” he said. Clearing his throat, he smiled and vaguely waved towards the direction of his room. “Let me just get my tablet and I’ll be back,”

“Okay,” Raven nodded and slipped into her room.

Ignoring the pleasant thrill that ran through his body, Tim quickly grabbed his tablet from his room and hurried back to Raven’s. He paused at the ajar door and knocked, unsure if he should just step in. A soft ‘come in’ came from within the room and Tim entered the dimly lit room and closed the door behind him. He smiled fondly at the sight of Raven in the middle of the ridiculously large bed, leaning against her pillows. He was reminded again of how small she was as the large bed seemed to swallow her.

“Hey,” Raven looked up from her phone. She smiled as Tim carefully walked through the room and momentarily pause at the right side of her bed. Her gaze dropped to the large tablet in his hand before turning back to him curiously. “Did you have something in mind to watch?”

Tim made an absent sound in the back of this throat and carefully joined her in bed. Crawling in next to her, with a respectable distance between them, he settled against the headboard and slipped his legs under the covers. He ignored at how his heart sped up as he became all too aware of Raven’s presence next to him. Placing the tabled in his lap, he turned it on revealing the WE lock screen wallpaper. He glanced at Raven as she eyed the tabled curiously. “I was thinking you would pick?”

Raven shrugged absently, gaze still fixed on the tablet expecting him to pull up Netflix. “I’m not sure,” she said. Tim nodded and unlocked the tablet with a few swipes and Raven chuckled as immediately a document from WE appeared on the screen. “Is that work?!” she asked, glancing at him teasingly.

“Yeah,” Tim chuckled. He made the document disappear and pulled up Netflix, absently scrolling through the selection. “Finance meeting coming up,”

“Sounds exciting,” mumbled Raven.

Tim snorted and glanced at her. “Very,”

They went through Netflix before settling with The Matrix and turned off their nightlights. As the movie began to play, Raven shifted next to Tim and settled herself next to him. Her actions were tentative and slow, before sinking into his side and place her head on his chest. Raven listened to Tim’s beating heart, as her left hand gently settled on his stomach, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

“Comfortable?” Tim sounded amused and looked at Raven, he could see the outline of her face, cheeks rising as she smiled and nodded. Chuckling softly, he adjusted his arm around her, and sunk just a little lower into bed and got himself comfortable as well.

Drawing his arm around her, Raven seemed to burry herself closer to him. Smiling fondly at her, Tim gently rubbed her back to get her to relax. They watched the movie silently, save for the occasional side commentary during the fight scenes.

Halfway into the movie, Tim quickly realized that despite popular belief, Raven seemed quite the snuggler.

“Cold feet!” Tim hissed as her legs drew closer to his and her arm slung over his chest. “Shh,” Raven hissed back, eyes fixed on the screen and fingers digging into his shirt. She drew herself closer to him, pressed into his side and released a deep content sigh. Idly running his hand up and down her side and listening to Raven’s breathing, Tim again felt that tugging feeling of wanting to spend more time with Raven – in this lazy way, in an intimate way, in any way possible. His lips curled into a smile as Raven shifted into him, yawning softly and gently sagging into his side. Tim’s fingers stilled into her waist and his attention shifted from Neo and Morpheus, to the outline of Raven’s asleep form.

There was still so much they have to talk about. But as Tim silently turned off his tablet and gently placed it on his nightstand, he realized that could wait. Settling down into bed next to Raven, who immediately responded by curling into him, Tim drew her closer and sighed sleepily. Feeling happy and content, Tim realized they had all the time in the world – and as far as he was concerned, their first date got off on a pretty good start.

#TimRae #Tim Drake #Raven #Curiosity TimRae #TimRae Fanfiction #Teen Titans #Unbeta #No Beta we die like robins

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lunapaper · 3 years ago

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Album Review: 'Any Shape You Take' - Indigo De Souza

Indigo De Souza’s shape takes many forms, like on the brooding defiance of ‘Home Team’ from 2018’s I Love My Mom, the dizzying euphoria of ‘What Are We Gonna Do Now?,’ on the grimy snark of ‘Take Off Ur Pants’ and the cataclysmic nihilism of breakthrough single, ‘Kill Me.’

With scrappy DIY charm and witty, incisive lyrics, the North Carolina-born singer can make youthful angst feel so tragic and liberating all at once.

Her second album, Any Shape You Take, continues in this vein, envisioned as a sort of ‘companion piece’ to I Love My Mom as De Souza restlessly changes shape once more. As she told Clash: ‘Many of the songs on these two records came from the same season in my life and a certain version of myself which I feel much further from now.’

‘17’ turns heartbreak into something soft and pillowy, a cut of shimmering, synth-induced dreaminess reflecting on love lost (‘You were my seventeen/You were my A-team/Won’t you just bend’). ‘Darker Than Death’ is sprawling alt-rock nostalgia, the brutal aftermath that sees De Souza asking over and over atop a gorgeous glaze of harmonies: ‘Was it something I said?’ ‘Pretty Pictures’ is punchy and wistful emo that unfolds like a heartbreaking montage as a vicious cycle threatens to repeat.

‘Die/Cry’ proves the starkest of De Souza’s confessions, where she admits: ‘I'd rather die than see you cry,’ as much as it kills her. ‘Bad Dream’ drifts into power ballad territory with its crashing riffs and chest-beating theatrics, the singer confessing in the midst of fighting girls and barking dogs: ‘I don’t think I’m ready for a clean-cut kind of love/But I don’t think I have a choice, I’m already gone.’

The album’s recent singles, however, take De Souza to some rather intriguing places as an artist.

'Hold U’ is a successful attempt from the singer to pen a song about ‘a really simple kind of love that isn’t necessarily romantic, but that is just about holding space for other people to fully express themselves and to feel celebrated.’ What begins with a hopeless declaration soon evolves into a sweet and sticky funk groove, one with its roots in the vibrant bossa nova of her father’s homeland of Brazil. Quietly exuberant, it’s nice to see a love song devoted to the platonic as much as it is to the romantic.

‘Real Pain,’ meanwhile, just tears through the heartfelt fabric of Any Shape You Take. Using vocal samples collected from fans, De Souza shapes her fear, anger, sadness and grief into a nightmarish haze of screams and cries that’s as disturbing as it is cathartic.

De Souza’s voice is just as much an instrument as the guitars that unravel throughout Any Shape You Take, able to bend it in beautiful ways and set it atop layers of swooning harmonies. She’s almost operatic in places on ‘Bad Dream.’ She yelps on ‘Late Night Crawler,’ is sugary and sweet in ‘Hold U’ and ‘Way Out,’ and so achingly tender on ‘Kill Me.’

The beauty of De Souza’s voice lies in its imperfections. Much like human emotion, it can be messy, brutal and unpredictable. It’s so ragged at times, it’s like she’s forcibly wringing every ounce of emotion from her body, like it physically pains her to do so. She puts so damn much into her songs, that you can’t help but feel with her.

Any Shape You Take Is the kind of album that swallows you whole. It’s just as heartbreaking as its predecessor, yet the rhythms are more muscular, more confident, evoking the intimacy of bedroom pop while at the same expanding on her DIY charm. Subtle cues taken from 80s pop purveyors like HAIM and Carly Rae also help give the record more of a mellow edge.

Love is pain. Love is kinda fucked up most of the time. Love changes you, for better or worse. To quote ‘Real Pain’: ‘When love is real, you cannot hide.’ But Indigo De Souza is ready to embrace it all, body and soul; in whatever shape or form...

- Bianca B.

#music #indigo de souza #any shape you take #new #reviews #albums #Bianca B

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lilacyennefer · 4 years ago

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Tie Me Down

A/N: So, I couldn't sleep last night and this is the result of my insomnia.

Summary: You finally take control over Jax and it gets dirty.

TW: SMUT, literally pure filth

“You gonna regret this.” Jax warns you as you tie him to a chair.

“I don’t think I will.” You smirk as you step in front of him and take a look at your work.

Jax is tied to a chair in your bedroom, completely naked. He’s already hard from the heavy petting session you had on your couch before you came into the bedroom, so his hard cock is standing proudly against his stomach. You bite your bottom lip as you look at this gorgeous man tied down in front of you, completely at your mercy.

“You’ve been away a lot lately.” You state.

“I had many things to do.” Jax says a bit annoyed as he tugs the ropes around his hands.

“Yet your wife wasn’t on that list.” You reply. “You know it’s been so long since you touched me.” You walk closer to Jax and you lean down, your breaths tickle his skin as you speak “I had to touch myself every time when I was burning with desire for you.” Jax growls and you take a step back.

“And I’m about to show you how I did it.” You walk to the bed and sit down on it, right in front of Jax. “How I touched myself thinking about you.” you spread your legs wide and put them on the bed next to you. Jax groans loudly at the view of your naked body spread wide in front of him.

You put one of your fingers into your mouth and suck it, making small, moaning sounds as you suck your finger in the exact same way how you’d suck Jax’s cock. You pull the finger out of your mouth and slowly pull it down on your neck and chest, leaving a wet trail. You stop at your boobs to grab them in your palms, massaging them, and pulling your nipples a bit, what earns a breathy moan from you, the moan you know it drives Jax crazy. The whole time you try to keep eye contact with Jax, but he follows the move of your hands while your eyes are fixed on his face. You go lower as you caress your skin, until your hand is between your legs, stroking your wet folds.

“You know I love to tease myself a little bit.” you say sweetly “And I love when you tease me. Edging me until I’m begging you to let me cum.” The sound what Jax makes is barely human, it’s so animalistic and so full of desire. You look down to his cock for the first time since you sat down on the bed, and you see how hard he is, his cock keeps twitching, and the head is glistening with precum. You smirk a little and bite your bottom lip as you spread your folds, giving Jax a hell of a view of your pussy, and you run your fingers over your soft, pink skin. You stop at your opening, collecting your wetness on your fingers before you place them on your clit and start touching yourself just the way you like it. You let out another sweet moan as you pleasure yourself, your eyes are never leaving Jax meanwhile his eyes are glued to your wetness.

You decide to tease Jax even more, so you slip two fingers into yourself while you moan his name, then you take your fingers and put them into your mouth, sucking your wetness eagerly.

“You should taste how good I taste.” you moan, and Jax growls your name.

“I’m warning you.” Jax says, his voice is a lot deeper and more rough than usual. You know he doesn't actually wants you to stop, before you tied him to the chair the two of you agreed in a safe word, if it’s really too much for him, he says it and you stop. And you know your husband, he gets really impatient really quickly, especially when it comes to teasing him.

“I don’t know Jax, I’m having fun.” you say and you place your fingers back on your pussy. “And I feel myself getting closer.” you barely touched yourself, but you’re so turned on from the whole situation, but especially from the power you have over Jax now.

You don’t often get the chance to be the dominant one in bed, Jax loves to be in charge, and even if you were on top riding him, his hands were always on your hips, guiding your movements. But now, you have all the power over him, so you’ll be damned if you won’t enjoy it.

“Jax.” you moan as you slip two fingers into yourself, curling them to intensify your own pleasure, and you start to move your fingers, in and out, and the way how you curl your fingers makes them rub against your g-spot with every move.

“It feels so good!” you moan louder, and Jax groans at the same time.

“Tell me how it feels.” Jax begs.

“So good.” you start “I’m so wet and so warm.” another sweet moan, and another groan from Jax.

As you move your fingers harder and faster, the fire in your belly grows stronger and your moan more frequent. You can’t keep your eyes open anymore so you close them, and throw your head back with a loud moan. Your legs start shaking a little, like they alway do when you’re close to orgasm, so you take your other hand to massage your clit the same time you finger yourself. Your legs start to shake even more as electricity runs through your whole body, and you cum hard.

Your eyes are still closed, fingers still deep in your pussy as you try to catch your breath to calm yourself down a bit. You don’t know how much time passed when you swallowed hard and opened your eyes to look at Jax, whose eyes are still fixed on you. You pull your fingers out of yourself and you stand up carefully since your legs are still shaking, and you walk up to Jax. He looks up at you and you smile at him softly, then you lay down to kiss him softly, seeking a little comfort in him. When you pull away from him, you replace your tongue with your fingers, so you slip those fingers what you had inside of yourself, and what’s still covered with your wetness into his mouth, making him taste you. Jax sucks your fingers eagerly, tasting your wetness on them until he sucks them clean.

“Do you like how I taste?” you ask.

“You know I fucking do.” Jax growls. You lean down to peck him on the lips one more time before you kneel down in front of him, you’re face to face with his throbbing hard cock. You place your hands on his thighs, and Jax jumps a little and lets out a small curse.

“You’ve been such a good boy, you deserve a reward.” you say seductively, and without teasing him you run your tongue over his shaft from his balls to his head. The groan what Jax let’s out is barely a human sound, and when you take his tip into your mouth, running your tongue over it, tasting his salty precum, he lets out a shaky breath and several curses. You suck him eagerly, caressing him with your tongue where you can reach him as your head constantly moving up and down while you suck him.

“Fucking hell, this feels fucking amazing.” Jax groans, and you suck him harder. You take his balls into your palm, and you feel him swell, you know very well he’s close to cuming.

“Fuccck, stop.” He husked, and you stop, your lips are still wrapped around him as you look up at Jax.

“I need to fuck that sweet pussy of yours.” he explains, you let his cock go with a loud ‘pop’. But you don’t let him go, you want to enjoy the last few minutes of your dominance, so you straddle his lap, you grab his shoulders to steady yourself, his erection is brushing against your wetness. You place his cock to your entrance and you sink down on him slowly, making both of you moan. You sit there for a few seconds, adjusting to Jax’s size before you started moving on him, riding him hard. Jax keeps cursing and groaning as you ride him, your hands are behind yourself on his thighs, your tits are bouncing right in front of his face.

You know that Jax won’t be able to hold himself for a long time, so you lean forward to angle your hips to the position where your clit rubs against him with every move, making you cum faster. You let out a loud whine, you’re still a bit sensitive from your previous orgasm, and the way how you rub yourself on Jax while his big cock is stretching you out and touches your inner walls in the right places, makes you shake from the overstimulation. As you lean forward, you wrap your arms around Jax’s neck and shoulders, hugging him close as you move, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent; the mix of his sweat, his deodorant, and sex. You grab into Jax desperately, your moans are more frequent and your breathing is heavier. You scream Jax’s name as your vision fades black, and you shake as you cum hard around Jax. He follows you almost immediately, the throbbing of your walls are milking him, making him cum hard. You’re so exhausted, and still in your pleasure as you lazily untie Jax’s hands. You don’t move, you keep sitting in Jax’s lap with his cock still deep inside of you, but it seems like Jax doesn’t want to move either as he wraps his arms around you, keeping you close. He nuzzles your face and neck, placing gentle kisses where he can, giving you the comfort you always seek after your times together, especially if the two of you fucked hard and didn’t make love.

Jax keeps you close, hugging you and loving you as you rest your chin on his shoulder, eyes closed, enjoying his warm.

“I love you.” he whispers, and you nuzzle your nose into his neck, then place a soft kiss on the same spot.

“I love you too.” you whisper back.

Tag list: @innerpaperexpertcloud @lady-evans @agirllovespasta @mheart27 @claudiahxrdy @oldstuffnewstuff @keithseabrook27 @alexa-rae-dreamz @minnicelli @rebel-without-cause-x

#charlie hunnam #jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller fanfiction

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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 4 years ago

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I’m new and if this is the right place can you do vinca comforting mc through a mental breakdown after things mc mom had said to her? If it’s too much then just ignore👍🏽

Written by: @evoedbd

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“Alright, this is fucking unco, Rae.” Vinca’s voice was sharp; sharper than the little throwing blades adorning her striking red jumpsuit. In the peak of the Vegas sun, Vinca was a gleaming star; a blaze of fury and snark. The cut of her shirt revealed glistening alabaster skin; the finest marble shined by the finest scented oils. From sharp collarbones worthy of a renascence sculpture, down the valley between breasts full enough to make angel’s sob with envy. Then the smooth expanse of her belly, a surface which occasionally seemed to bubble with hidden muscle. The heaving expanse of her ribcage, lines which appeared between exhales.

“Sit down. Drink this.” Each command was almost barked. Harsh and short. Delivered from the international supermodel Vinca Wren. Rae didn’t know whether it was the heat, her own loneliness or her hysteria that brought such a vision to her, nor if Vinca herself recognised the irony of addressing thirst when she was the cause of it across the world. All she knew with terrifying clarity was that she had obeyed, accepting the iced water bottle and dropping to her haunches like an ever-faithful hound.

“Wha-”

“Ah, ah, ah. No questions.” Vinca cut her off, reaching out to press the pad of her finger to Rae’s lips. The bike Mechanic fell obediently silent, fighting the urge to rub her lips together at the irritating grain of sand that rubbed across them. When had Vinca put her hands anywhere near dirt? Wait… she’d said no questions. Why was Rae asking questions? Before she could freefall into her doubts, Vinca seemed to read it. The model withdrew her decorated finger with a softened expression.

“Drink. Then, spill.” She urged. Despite the strength of her tone, the power of her posture and … personality… Vinca’s words rung like a plea in Rae’s ears. The mechanic paused, taking another moment to inspect Vinca. There she was, on her knees in the sand of the Canyon, having chased Rae out onto the bike trails. Vinca was all high heels, platform shoes, clothes worth more than Rae’s monthly paycheck, sullied by sand. And concern. Vinca embodied concern. The aloof tilt of her mouth wasn’t true; delicious-looking, candy-pink lips falling a bit too far into a frown. The darkness of her eyeliner couldn’t hide the shadows in hypnotic blue eyes. This Vinca was not somebody Rae had ever seen before, at least, not directed at her.

The mechanic realised what a mess she must be. Her tie-dyed hoodie flapping around her elbows, cheap t-shirt hanging off of one sunburnt shoulder. Her face had to be a mess, after all her sobbing. She could feel the itchiness across her eyes, the dried caking of tears and snot down her cheeks, all the way to the point of her chin. Despite this, Vinca Wren had chased her. HER. Rae Lang. A dropout, bike instructor and mechanic living in a cheap apartment above her workplace with her single mother. That gave her the courage to try and smile, to dare utter a deflecting line.

“The drink?”

Vinca literally growled in frustration. Her hands came up to her pixie cut, sweeping the longer, dyed bangs out of her eyes. Nails dug into her scalp as if she could wrench her own thoughts out of her mind through the roots of her platinum hair.

“You are the most dense, stubborn woman I have ever met. You didn’t even cry when demons attacked you. We can’t have your eyes all swollen, that’s just a travesty. Whoever or whatever has made you this upset needs to be dealt with.” What started out frustration quickly melted back into concern. Hesitantly, as if she might break Rae, Vinca reached out. She ran her own fingers through Rae’s hair, across her temples, sweeping the chaotic locks away from the Asian’s face. Whatever Vinca saw there must have hurt her, given the subtle hitch in her breath before she slinked closer. How a near six-foot woman could slink on her knees was damn confusing, but Vinca Wren perfected the art. The movements. The attitude. The aura. Catwoman eat her heart out. It was almost feline how Vinca drew close, enough that she sat hip to hip with Rae.

“It’s my mom. We got into an argument, and things got spicy.” Rae confessed, letting herself melt into Vinca’s side. Any weariness vanished the moment Vinca’s arm wrapped around Rae’s shoulders, guiding her into a comforting closeness. Vinca’s nails found their way into Rae’s hair, delicately scratching across her scalp. This time, the motion was intentional, a gentle caress that drew the wounded sound from Rae’s throat, the weight off her chest.

“She said she was disappointed with me for dropping out of med school.”

That earned a derisive snort.

“Right. Because a doctor is SO much more useful than saving the world from Demons.” Vinca was unapologetically snarky. That earned a soft snort from Rae, a wet and wounded sound of amusement. So many people may have been touchy about such things, would have offered apologies and comforts. Vinca didn’t do that. She struck back, bigger and harder than ever, using the truth like a sledgehammer from a rival act.

“She thinks I’m being reckless with the act. That I’m trying to hurt myself like some…” Rae grasped for the words, unable to find what she was looking for. She looked imploringly to Vinca, pleading with the younger woman to rip the truth from her too. To drag every dark thought into the light, just as she did upon the stage. Just as she did in every brutal fight. There were so many shadows, so much confusion, yet Vinca usually brought clarity. Why wasn’t she being clarity now?

“I can read minds, you know. I’d know if you were being stupid or planning on kicking it on stage.”

“I don’t get it. She loves Yvette and Lazarus.”

“Everybody does.” Vinca agreed. It was true. Yvette was so painfully charming, despite her aloofness. She captivated without a single touch. She burned; azure fire held back by the weight of humanity. And Lazarus had somehow swept Rae’s mother off her feet with his gentle words and polite mannerisms. It didn’t hurt that his abs could be mistaken for a cheese grater and that he never wore a closed shirt… ok, so her mother was a cougar. Rae couldn’t exactly blame her. But she could disagree on one thing.

“But she thinks you’re dangerous.”

“I can’t argue with that. My fashion is pretty sharp.” Vinca delivered the line flawlessly, only a twitch at the corner of her mouth, showing any amusement. Rae could only shake her head in disbelief at Vinca’s jest. She didn’t get it. Didn’t take it seriously. And why should she? Vinca Wren was a worldly marvel, an international superstar. While Rae showed overweight tourists the easiest bike trails, Vinca Wren was in London. While Rae had to deal with overly entitled customers, Vinca Wren was sitting beside leopards in the finest lingerie or setting the trend for summer bathing suits surrounded by lions. Whilst Rae had a cougar for a mother, Vinca Wren sat amongst actual, literal cougars in suits that could make grown men sweat or gowns which would make grown women sob with envy. Vinca Wren was Pride. The big bad sin. The mind-reading, knife-wielding, drop-dead gorgeous extraordinaire. Why would she care what a bike shop owner thought?

“She thinks you’re just using me, that I’ve been swept up in the glamour, and I might get hurt when you g-get bored. That when you’re all done with the bike tricks, you won’t really care for me.” And there it was. The truth, laid out for Vinca to weaponize. To wield. All Rae’s unspoken fears laid bare. To rip the world apart with at a whim, all with her devastating smirk.

“Bullsh-” Vinca cut her answering growl off, clamping her jaw shut. A breath, composure reclaimed, emotion hidden behind a professional mask.

“… I mean, what do you think?” A submission. That made Rae blink. Vinca Wren had just shut down her own opinion to give Rae the floor.

“Can’t you read my mind?” Rae demanded on instinct, earning another derisive snort and a blasé flick of Vinca’s wrist.

“Duh! But like, invasion of privacy much?”

There was something about the way Vinca said it that didn’t sit right with Rae. A waver in her usually impeccably aloof act. Her sharp features were just that little too youthful. Her lips didn’t quite reach the notes of indifference, nor did her nose point quite as high in the air. Then, her eyes… wider. So impossibly bright blue, like a summer sky. So devastatingly vulnerable for a blink, before they narrowed slightly, adding to an angular appearance.

“Are you scared what you’ll find?” Rae couldn’t help but fire back, drawn into the banter. It felt dangerous, like throwing herself into a pit of knives and daring them to cut her, but the reward was worthwhile. The briefest flash of surprise in Vinca’s eyes, a tinge of colour to her cheeks, and that dangerous, not quite a pout, not quite a frown; an expression which promised pain and horror upon those who had incurred her wrath. The little crease in her brow, the way her eyes hardened and narrowed, honed to a razor's edge. Somehow, knowing Vinca, that expression was just downright adorable… like a kitten threatening a toy mouse.

“I’m not scared!” Vinca declared just a touch too vehemently to be truthful. There it was. Pride. The sin Vinca had taken on, in a way she still hadn’t disclosed. Not fully. She had killed someone, that much Rae knew. Someone evil. Someone who had the world fooled and was using his power to hurt everyone Vinca loved. But Rae knew there was more. There had to be. It was too raw a wound to be a completed chapter.

“Vinca Wren. I know when you’re lying by now.” Rae commented, refusing to let the moment she saw go. Rae had seen the photoshoots, the advertisements, the endless endorsements of this larger than life woman. Vinca Wren was sold as sex and danger; a mystery. A real-life Selena Kyle. A sin above humanity. How many people got to catch a glimpse of the woman beneath? The young, loyal woman who would give everything to protect what she loved? How many people ever got to see Vinca crack? Even Yvette seemed to look to Vinca as a rock, mindless to the fact life was like water. Mindless to how water eroded Vinca, until only sex and danger remained. What she had to be. What everybody saw. Just how did the world see Vinca? How easily did they forget how she hurt?

“Fine, whatever!” Vinca’s confession was a deflection, delivered with another attempt at indifferent even in an explosion of irritation.

“So I’m anxious about what I’ll see. Happy now, you little sadist?” There was no heat to her words. The beginnings of a fond smile tugged at her lips, even as she straightened enough to loom over Rae, chin held high in a haughty fashion. Despite her appearance of looking down, Vinca’s eyes glistened with scarcely restrained amusement. Something rarer than diamonds. Sapphires amidst the clay and sands.

“Vinca.” If one name could be a loaded sentence, it was the way Rae whispered that name. A prayer. Imploring a goddess to pay heed to an ant. And heed the goddess paid. For one bright, blistering moment of crystal clarity, Vinca’s world was only Rae. Vinca gave her all to the mechanic, hanging on the unspoken words, searching and fearing simultaneously. Rae swallowed. What could she even say? What words did she have that could sum up the complication, which was Vinca Wren? How could she show the duality of intents, the clash of meaning to every word that could ever describe her? Snarky meant wonderful, and bitchy meant saintly, selfless. Vinca redefined every insult one might spit; turned the world on its head, twisted it upon its axis. She was the brightest darkness. The darkest star. She was the shadow of the sun because she shone too intensely to be anything so simple as sunshine.

“Whenever you’re ready, look at what I think of you. Until then, I’ll try to find the right words.” Rae wanted to cuss herself out even as she spoke sweetly, invited Vinca inside yet again. Stupid. How was she so stupid? She’d had Vinca’s attention, had the chance to try to fix everything Vinca hated about herself. Had the chance to begin to untangle her own jumbled concepts of the woman. And what had she done? Chickened out. Left Vinca without answers and pressured her into something she clearly wasn’t comfortable with.

She was shocked to hear an amused huff, as if Vinca was attempting not to laugh. There was an easiness to her presence, a tenderness even in the way she sidled closer, using her own body as a pillar for Rae to lean on. For once, Vinca’s snark was delivered lightly, lips pulled into something resembling an unpractised smile as she delivered a deadpan line.

“I’ll buy you a dictionary.”

“Make sure it has snarky in it.” Rae needled lightly, giving Vinca a poke in her exposed ribs. The Pride assassin was warm, roasting even, yet so soft and smooth beneath even that poke. Once more, Rae was struck by how unusual their blossoming friendship was, how far apart their worlds truly were. Cultures, countries, paychecks. Everything considered to make the world turn. They were so very vastly different, yet here they were. Sitting in the sand. Sweaty and snotty. Making bad jokes and bridging their different upbringings one awkward syllable at a time.

“It’s a dictionary. That word be ancient. If it isn’t in there, I demand a refund.” Vinca pulled what might be dubbed a Karen face, complete with severe frown and haughtily raised brow. For one. Two. Three seconds, there was silence. Then, cracks. Vinca’s lips twitched, Rae’s breath caught in her nose. Then laughter. Rae laughed, freely and openly, right alongside Vinca. The Pride assassin’s laugh, a genuine laugh, was a far cry from delicate. It was the soft chortle of a lioness. A sound which was soft yet never let anybody forget the dangers of the being. Rae didn’t care. She continued to giggle and snort long after Vinca stopped, almost oblivious to the tender, thoughtful expression etched across Vinca’s face. Almost. Rae caught it, like a glimpse of a falling star, and wished upon it. Wished to understand it. For once, for clarity to be cast upon itself.

“… Look…” Vinca broached, voice unusually hesitant. Thoughtful and soft. So very quiet, yet so unmistakably her.

“Your mom cares about you. She’s worried. I get that. I’m not the type of person you want around for my sparkling personality. But you also have to make your own choices and mistakes. That's part of growing up. And if you tell anybody about this, I will stab you, but you’re pretty ok. You haven’t fucked up that badly… yet.”

She had to add the yet. She couldn’t be soft, not if she wanted everybody safe. Soft wasn’t safe for anybody… yet. That didn’t mean she didn’t relish how close she had gotten, how close she could come. Enough to taste the humanity. Enough to break her heart once more.

“Vinca…” Rae began, unable to find any other word, any other sound even to begin her sentence. Summoned, Vinca’s gaze turned back to the mechanic, meeting her eyes in a silent question. A silent dare. Under the weight of such a gaze, Rae cracked. The corners of her mouth pulled towards her ears, curling into a wicked little grin that sent Vinca into high alert. She tensed, calculating. Instead, she found herself flabbergasted by a rather playful observation.

“You’re really terrible at this comforting thing.”

“No shit. What do you want from me? Professional advice?” She demanded sharply, brows arched dangerously. Her lips peeled away from her teeth ever so subtly, an instinctual warning. Just like a timid hound trying to prove it was tough, Rae realised. Vinca’s knee jerk reaction was fear. Denial. Aimed at something behind the words.

“Maybe just a hug?” Rae’s request was simple enough, though it still threw Vinca for a loop.

“Seriously? What are you, twelve?” She barked; her laughter far less joyous. What she didn’t expect was the wounded expression across Rae’s face… no. That was a lie. She had expected the sad tilt to the Asian’s fine lips, along with the foggy glistening across suddenly unfocused eyes. What Vinca hadn’t expected was the way it would hurt. She flinched, unable to stop her body from reacting despite all her training. Only one person ever asked for hugs from her. One glistening, gorgeous person who Vinca herself kept tearing down. One person, she’d given everything for, including their relationship. One bright, stubborn little girl who… who reminded her entirely too much of Rae.

“… Fine.” She relented, twisting until she could gather the small woman to her chest. It was overwhelming in the best and worst of ways. Finally, after so long, she had someone she could care for. Even if that only lasted a moment, she had the comfort of contact. Of someone wanting innocent contact with her. She wasn’t reading lewd thoughts and desires, nor having to be on guard in case skin touched her. She could just… be. Exist in a moment. That was enough for Vinca to squeeze tighter, to burrow her nose into the crown of Rae’s head with an entirely too soft sigh of her own. Then, she bristled.

“For someone so sharp, you’re really a big softy.” Rae sighed, voice a million miles away. Lost in a moment, Vinca could never fully surrender to. It was too soft. Too dangerous. Too tempting. She wanted to withdraw, like a tiger with its paw snared in a trap, Vinca wanted to flee… but she couldn’t. Rae’s arms were wrapped around her, squeezing like a boa constrictor. Hands, gentler than the finest Masseuse, were like the teeth of a trap digging into her flesh. There she was, a soul sold to hell, stuck in the embrace of someone angelic. Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t.

“If you tell anyone…” she began, hissing the words into the baby hairs behind Rae’s ear. She shuddered, unable to conceal a reaction at the heated breath, the closeness… the sickly promise in Vinca’s empty threat.

“I know, you’ll stab me.” Rae chuckled, simply squeezing a little tighter, nuzzling that little bit closer. Vinca relented further, sighing, slouching into the contact.

“Seriously though…” Rae began, withdrawing enough to see the startled expression upon Vinca’s face as she muttered the next word.

It wasn’t perfect. Wasn’t the opening Rae had hoped for, nor the closure Vinca may have sought. Yet, there was a door opened. A tender olive branch extended; a sprig, too defiant to die in the blazing heat. That little spark, that unspoken potential drew a matching smile to Rae’s lips, gave her the courage to accept the comfort Vinca offered, even knowing that she risked being cut. Perhaps bleeding would be worth it to have a friend as loyal as Pride… no, as loyal as Vinca Wren.

“Thanks.”

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