#but Madness’ lotion choice I can accept

[your-local-grinning-cat]

Nah, I’m way past that point with Madness.

We already know each others favorite lotion and lip balm to use at this point.

There is no further descending happening, I have already fully embraced my Madness 😸💜

descending into madness. y’all want anything?

[ggidolsmuts]

Dressed for "Success" - Ryu Sujeong

"Ah the sun's so nice! Oppa hurry up!" Sujeong takes your suitcase and pushes you out. "Just drop the stuff and go reserve a good spot!"

"S-Sujeong, I need to get the towels and my book!"

"Here!" Sujeong tosses you your book carelessly, and thankfully it lands securely in your hands. "I'll bring the towels, go go go, I just need to change!"

With an exasperated breath you leave her to it, going back to the hotel elevator. What was supposed to be a relaxed arrival in the morning became a delayed arrival in the afternoon, cutting short your weekend trip to the beaches. This resulted in Sujeong rushing you the whole way here—she wanted to get some sun in before the day was out. This weekend is luckily not too crowded, and you secure a spot not too far from the hotel. You trap your book between your arm and body as you lug a large beach umbrella over to the empty beach chair you had set your sights on.

"Argh!" Sitting down on the chair immediately was a regrettable choice, and the heat stings your skin as you jump up. You leave it be for a while, and now under the shade of the umbrella the chair gradually cools to an acceptable level.

"Oppa!" Sujeong comes running over a little later, dressed in a simple top and shorts, carrying a towel in her arms. "Nice you got us a good spot!"

"Mmhmm, its kinda hot though."

"Good thing I brought these then!" Sujeong brandishes the handheld electric fan in front of you, and you woop with joy.

"Nice! You're the best!" you sit back down on the chair, trying to angle the fan just right so that you could still read the book with both hands and not have to hold the fan up.

"Hey, shouldn't you help me with the sunscreen then?" Sujeong lies teasingly on the beach towel, running a foot over her other leg. You kneel in front of her and look left and right. With no one in sight, you lift a leg and kiss it up and down, brushing sand from her foot before kissing it. Gently she pushes you away, handing you the sunscreen. "Your kisses don't block UV rays, sadly. Sunscreen please?" Her legs felt extra creamy as you rubbed the lotion up and down her calves and lower legs before moving past her knee. You knead her toned thighs slowly, eventually drifting under her shorts. You pull your hands out to apply more lotion, and Sujeong hums in delight when you rub it in more firmly.

"I think that's enough oppa." She scoots away from you as your fingers tease underneath her bikini bottom. "You should do my back." You expected her to take off her t-shirt, but to your surprise most of the back is cut out, leaving only two thin straps.

"Sujeong! What is this top? Isn't it too revealing?"

"It's fine, I'll be wearing a cardigan most of the time."

"What about the straps, you'll get tanlines?"

"You're the only one who'll see it anyways," Sujeong dismisses you offhandedly. "Now come on!" She lies flat on the beach towel, resting her head on her hands. You gather more lotion before rubbing it all over her exposed back. Sujeong sighs in relief as your hands work her over, relaxing her with the impromptu massage. She becomes one with the towel, seeming to sink deeper into the sand. You kiss the back of her neck, and your fingers go to her dimples of Venus—familiar gripping points for a different kind of massage.

"Oppa!" Sujeong shoots you a warning look, but you push your luck a little further, your thumbs pushing her shorts down a little, dipping beneath her bottoms— Sujeong turns around to face you. You back away, expecting her to be mad, but Sujeong is blushing pink. She leans in to peck your cheek before whispering, "Please let me have a good tan? If you can wait till tonight I have something special planned for us."

"Is it something special in a good sense, not some random night tour?" You still remember the bug bites from the night tour she booked for the two of you last trip.

"Mmhmm, it'll be good for us." Her hand brushes your crotch for the briefest of moments—it was the most forward she has been with you, and you catch her pulling back to take her breath away, a fierce but short kiss that left her red-faced. "Oppa, there could've been people watching!"

"I look forward to it." You lean back on the chair, using the book to block your delicious view of Sujeong lounging, and the fan helps you calm down and cool off. The afternoon wind ruffles through the pages of your book, the shadow cast by the sun serving as your bookmark as it shades the words you have read. Eventually though, the weather places a damper on things quite literally, the sand around you beginning to get spotty and dark.

"Sujeong, it's raining, should we go?"

"Ah should we? But maybe the rain will go away soon? Make room!" Sujeong climbs aboard the lounge chair, half sitting on you. The pitter patter on the beach umbrella becomes more frequent, and it became clear that the sun wouldn't be appearing again for a while. The two of you cuddle for awhile, and she hugs your arm while watching the light shower drag into a long pour. 

Your hand eventually slips underneath her top, rubbing her toned tummy. Sujeong doesn't push you away, instead encouraging it, trapping your arm between her own arm and body. Her hand draws circles on the back of yours as you draw larger circles over her skin, and you lean in to capture her lips when she looks to you.

You deepen the kiss, your other hand pulling her towards you. The hand on her body becomes more firm, more demanding, and yet, frustratingly she grips your hand tightly when you want to go lower. She can definitely feel your hardness poking at her, but she shakes her head.

"Not here, let's just go back." Sullenly you gather up your stuff, leaving the umbrella there for now to make a dash back to the hotel. The elevator ride up is quiet, and you try to not let your displeasure show—little did you know that Sujeong had other things on her mind.

You drop your belongings by the bed, and you are pleasantly surprised by Sujeong dropping you on the bed, pushing you from behind and peppering you with kisses.

"Oppa, let's do something special now." You manage to turn and sit up, and in your lap Sujeong looks both cute and sexy, her cheeks tinged pink with want, her clothes wet from the rain, clinging tightly around her figure.

"I thought you wanted to do that tonight?"

"I can't wait any longer." With her admission your hands are daring on her body, roaming the extra skin her top affords you. At her urgent tugs on your t-shirt you take it off before pulling Sujeong back in, resuming the liplock you had with her. Your lips move down to her neck, her gasps and breaths harried as you worked on the straps of her top. As soon as she feels them loosen she lifts the rain-soaked cloth up and over her head, her hair tousled—she was already a sexy mess. She becomes a sexy naked mess soon after, removing her shorts and her juice-soaked bikini bottoms in front of you before tugging on your own shorts.

"Wait Sujeong." You pause her attack on your boxers to reach in your bag for a box of condoms, fumbling with it to pull one out. She works your erection out of your boxers, stripping the last piece of clothing for you before reaching for the foil-protected protection. You close your eyes as Sujeong bobs her head on your shaft, wetting it and preparing for the familiar but unwelcome feeling of snug rubber.

"Oppa."

You open your eyes to see Sujeong biting on the wrapper of the condom, as if preparing to tear it open. To your shock she spits it out to the side, pushing herself to her feet and getting in your lap instead.

"S-Sujeong?" You throb and flex, your shaft brushing against her slit directly.

"Let's not use protection." She kisses you passionately to interrupt any protest, grinding in your lap, against your shaft, as if trying to make you just slip into her.

"Are you sure that's okay?" Your hands hold her waist still, prompting her to whine.

"This is what I wanted to be special. People say to dress for the job you want, so I dressed for the fuck I want—" she sucks your bottom lip, stinging it with a soft nip. "Bareback, I want to feel you directly oppa."

There has been an imaginary line between you and her, one enforced by the use of rubber, and in an instant it is broken as she sinks herself down in your lap, your tip spreading her slit open. Sujeong bites on her own lip, the sensation overwhelming as she feels you flesh to flesh.

"Ahh— mmmm!" Sujeong muffles a loud moan into your shoulder, she had imagined it to be good, to feel like her fingers when she tried putting them in, but not this good! She felt every inch of you intimately as she sank deeper and deeper on you, and you felt absolutely hot inside her, a warm living being, throbbing and pulsing with need.

"You feel so good..." she mumbles, already lifting herself off your lap before dropping back down, a sharp intake of breath from both of you indicating just how deep she took you—it felt like you had pushed the air straight out of her lungs. You try to respond in kind, but all you can manage is a moan as she coats your shaft with her slick warmth over and over again. You had been looking forward to doing this eventually, the next step in your relationship with Sujeong, but you never thought she would initiate it this quickly, certainly not this weekend, certainly not now.

Unable to put your thoughts into words, you hug Sujeong tighter, making her lean back a little—it allows you to capture a perky breast in your mouth, and with the lack of muffler she can't keep her loud husky moans down. It is extra loud when you swirl your tongue around a stiff nipple, and the bedroom never sounded more erotic as she rode you harder and harder, moans interspersed with the clapping of your bodies, with the lewd schlick and squelch of your connection.

"Oppa, oppa it's too good!" The two of you are lost in lust, primed for detonation. You start pulling her down on you forcefully, supplementing her own movements, and it sets the two of you off. "Wait, I'm going to— fuck!" Sujeong cries as she reaches an intense peak, her walls massage and seem to suck you deeper into her, and you make her scream when you push her peak even higher with your own.

"Haaannnghh!" Sujeong groans in ecstasy, her abdomen impossibly hot as you fill her with seed for the first time. She has felt you throb in orgasm before, dumping your load into a rubber, but never so directly, and her body reacts to the cum, strengthening her orgasm, making her milk you even more urgently. Rhythmically she rides and clings to your length, squeezing you for everything you have.

"Oh my god, oh god..." she gasps, slowly coming down from the delightful high. She moves gingerly, her nerves on fire, hypersensitive and overpleasured. She feels wet and sticky down there, and for a moment she thought she squirted and made a mess, but no, you were the one to make the mess inside her, small trickles of cum leaking out—you had thoroughly filled her, and then some. You continue rocking against her, and she can't help but whimper, letting you drain the last few spurts into her. It made her feel dirty, but she was dirty with you, and that made her feel amazing.

"I love you." A mini-climax rushes through her when you mumble it into her suddenly sweaty neck. Now she felt loved and wanted, and she drives herself down on your softening shaft, as if willing you to get hard again, wanting you to put more into her.

"Love you too." Sujeong captures your lips needily, and the kiss only breaks when you finally slip out of her, a flood of white following her out.

"W-Will you be okay?"

"Mmhmm, I told you, I want this, so I already took precautions."

"You are amazing." You kiss her and hug her close, your heartbeats eventually slowing down to an acceptable level. "Shower?" Sujeong tightens her arms and legs around you.

"Carry me?" A wide smile is plastered all over your face as you bring her to the bathroom, kissing her against the shower wall before finally letting her down. The two of you wash each other tenderly, and as you get below her waistline, you're surprised by just how much leaks out of her.

"That's a lot..." Sujeong gasps as you rub a finger between her legs, collecting your own cum on a finger before the water washes it away.

"Oppa put all of that in me." She takes your hand and rubs it further on her slit before bringing it to her mouth and sucking it clean. You briefly part her lips with your fingers before kissing her again, pushing her against the shower wall. You sense the smile on her face when you poke against her thigh. "I want more of it." Sujeong turns to face the wall, bending slightly over to brace herself.

There's no way you are able to resist her offer, and this time your thumbs dig into her dimples of Venus as you thrust forward into Sujeong. Her moan is loud and resonant, echoing and overpowering the sound of running water. The cum still inside her enhances her creaminess, and you soon have her on her tiptoes, driving up and forward into her. You turn the shower off, a distraction to your fucking, and the claps of your wet bodies is even more erotic.

"More oppa, more!" Sujeong cries out wantonly, and finally getting to fuck her raw instead of being ridden unlocks something in you. She finds herself on five toes as you lift one leg to the side and get even deeper inside her. Fully pinned against the wall, Sujeong relishes your rod pounding and grinding her senseless. Now she is truly being fucked, it makes her feel claimed, taken by you her lover, and then—

"Cum for me." You surprise her by bring a hand down to her clit and pressing on it, and Sujeong wails in climax and shuts down. She trembles and quivers against you, her toes curling uselessly in the air. This time she does squirt around you, her slick splashing on the shower floor between your thrusts. You can almost feel your balls shrink as you push into her one last time before reaching your own orgasm, shooting your load up into her, filling her up just like she wanted.

"Ah..." Sujeong can only manage a hoarse whisper at the exquisite heat between her legs, especially when she is back on two feet, the warm liquid trickling down her thighs as you hold her tightly in an embrace.

"Good?" You brush her wet hair, making sure she was ok with your roughness.

"Great." Her legs felt like noodles, but in your arms Sujeong has never felt more secure—there's no way she's ever having you use condoms again. "Help me clean up?" This time the two of you properly shower, and somehow you manage to get dressed without jumping each other again. Yet the expensive dinner reservation you made feels almost cheap and worthless as the two of you are hungry for something more than food. The dishes seem to fly by before you are dashing back to your room in record time.

"Oppa, think you have more for me?" Sujeong's in your arms, all dolled up and looking lovelier than ever.

You lean in for a kiss and mumble into her neck, "I'll try, not as much as before."

"I'll take whatever I can get." She pulls you towards bed, lying on it so you can get on top and undress her. 

“I love you,” you whisper, slowly pulling the straps of her dress down.

“Love you too, now give me everything you have.”

The rest of the night barely involves any sleep as you make Sujeong feel loved, then fucked, then loved again as you take her and she takes you, enjoying the next level of intimacy your relationship has reached.

Housekeeping gets to cleaning the room after the two of you checkout the next morning, bleary-eyed and shaky-legged. They happen upon a wrapped condom on the floor, and a little further in the corner a box of condoms, forgotten and unused.

"Poor guy, guess he didn't get lucky."

Oh how wrong they were.

A/N: Happy belated birthday and comeback/debut to Ryu Sujeong! That beach pic has been on my mind for a long time, and I finally managed to come up with a good pun to write about it. I could’ve done a quickie, but yeah, happy to come up with the whole “bareback” thing lol. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: Occasionally it is hot to write about stuff like getting rid of condoms/protection, and I have a creampie/breeding kink, as you will notice in my stories. In reality though, relationships are not dependent on whether or not you use condoms or other forms of protection instead, use whatever protection is best for you and your partner that you agree on. Understand the pros and cons of each, and the risks of unprotected sex. Be responsible to yourself and your partner.

Now go listen to her comeback/debut Pink Moon! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3Tg0o2O4wg

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Merging Timelines (Lucifer/MC)

Summary: Your nightmares become less frequent the less you refer to the other timeline as ‘yours’ and the more you convince yourself that this timeline is the only one that exists.

Alternatively: After waiting for you to come back, Lucifer goes searching for you to bring you back home.

Alternatively 2:0: what’s better than one Lucifer? TWO Lucifers!!!! But it really isn’t :(

Word Count: 2k+

Notes: Gender neutral reader (”they”); *throws angst at you* like leaving behind the original timeline wasn’t bad enough; I don't actually remember what Barbatos did to the other timelines-- if it was destroyed or if we just broke off into another junction, but I’m leaning towards the latter theory... yknow, for the angst, (had to repost this because tags weren’t working :’((( )

--

Every time you encounter something that was different or uncomfortable for you in the Devildom, you adapt. Just as you adjust to being in a timeline you had no intentions of being a part of not out of complacency, but out of desperation.

You scramble to make new memories with the seven demon brothers.

You go along with every antic Mammon or Levi pull you in and drown yourself with face masks and new lotions with Asmo. You cook your favorite recipes for Beel and discuss your favorite genres with Satan. You even help Belphie rekindle his relationship with his brothers; it’s familiar, easy for you to forget what you have lost when you’re busy helping others, even though every time he looks at you, you remember the feeling of his hands on your throat.

Your gaze lingers on Lucifer more, trailing after him. Before he notices, you’re already looking elsewhere, pretending like you don’t imagine time and time again when your hands were on his as he bared his heart and finally allowed himself to be vulnerable around his brothers-- around you-- before you were swept to the past you had no right to meddle in. Still, like with the other brothers, you do what you can to make up for lost time, even though you feel a sense of dread that you’ll never be able to have the same relationship with the brothers that you had when you bound together against Diavolo for Belphie.

(Especially not with Lucifer, who had vouched for you to find the truth and save Belphie, who let you embrace him in the catacombs and allowed your hands to give him the reassurance he needed to speak, whose concern was etched on his face as you declared that you would go to the past alone.)

Your nightmares become less frequent the less you refer to the other timeline as ‘yours’ and the more you convince yourself that this timeline is the only one that exists.

And it gets better (as it must) when you spend time with all of them, building your relationship to a point that you slowly begin to truly believe that things will be okay. It starts to actually feel that way when you attend Diavolo’s birthday party, pleasantly surprised at the presents that you are given. You’re warmed by the thought that went into each of them, flushing at the way Lucifer looks at you and pins the brooch right above your left breast with a gentleness you have always known he was capable of (even if he doesn’t realize it himself).

You meet Belphie outside, where there are lights above like stars, at the rocky pavement nearest the lake and accept his present. His pact burns onto your skin like all the other five, and he tells you he has never thought of you as Lilith as neither do the other brothers. Like a bad habit, you think about your other timeline, wondering if you had stayed if this scenario would have happened, and what would have changed otherwise.

“Hey-y-y, whaddya think you’re doin’ over there?! Did you forget who’s the guest of honor tonight?” You hear Mammon’s voice call out from a distance. You laugh when he huffs loudly, “Get back to the party, on the double!”

“Coming!” You reply back, grinning at Belphie who only grimaces at Mammon’s shouting.

“Why are you all the way over there,” Asmo whined, hugging you the moment you reached them.

“Sorry,” you say, returning his embrace gently. (Inwardly, you vow to make sure he has your full attention when asked, though you know he has no idea why you would do such a thing.) “Belphie was just giving me his gift,” you explain, smiling lightly when Belphie flushes at the sudden attention. He gravitates towards Beel as Mammon leers at him and Levi rolls his eyes at how ‘dramatic’ everything was.

“Oh, did he now,” Satan remarks, amusement laced in his every word. Belphie glares. “I understand the need for privacy, but the distance seems kind of excessive, don’t you think?”

“Wouldn’t you have preferred Lucifer to be more than a few feet away when we made our pact?” You tease, watching as the blond raises his hand to his face and similarly tries to hide his blush.

“W-Well, that was a different time--”

“You’re not exactly wrong,” Asmo comments, pointing to the marble pavilion out on the lake. “Lucifer’s not really that far off when these sort of things happen.”

At the sight of the eldest brother approaching with his black coat billowing behind him, Mammon swears. “Oh crap,” he says, starting to nudge you towards the Demon Prince’s castle. “C’mon, we should scram before he comes and yells at us for leaving the party.”

You laugh. “You say that like it’s something we can avoid,” you tell him, letting yourself get pulled regardless even as you glance back with a twinkle in your eyes at the familiar sight of Lucifer storming up to them in a huff.

That is, until he calls out your name.

There is something wrong.

You’re aware that Mammon and Satan are looking at you in concern when you stop walking, but you don’t have the heart to reassure them when you’re not sure if everything is okay. Lucifer calls out your name again, and you’re startled, heart beating a mile a minute as his voice wraps your name in a flurry of fear and desperation.

You didn’t realize Lucifer could ever sound like that.

Without thinking, you start to walk toward him, mind racing with every worst scenario you can think up of. “Lucifer,” you start to say, concerned, “Lucifer, what’s wrong--”

Lucifer gives you no chance to finish your sentence as he pulls you into his chest, his arms wrapped around you tightly, leaving no space in between the two of you. Almost instinctively, you reach up and hold him, confused and worried but happy to provide him with an embrace if that is what he needed. (You wonder if he hugs like this every time, intimately close and comfortably tight, and for a moment you wish you had a chance to do this with your-- the other Lucifer.)

You hear some murmurs and strangled yells (probably Mammon) in the background, but you find yourself more focused on the warmth of his arms around your body and the way Lucifer’s eyes seem to glean in the light of the dark when he reluctantly pulls away.

You open your mouth to ask again when he beats you to the punch.

“Where have you been?” Lucifer asks-- no, demands of you, hands gripping your shoulders. His eyes search over you, as if checking for injuries or ailments.

You blink. “Oh, I was just with Belphie for a moment,” you tell him slowly, unsure why his eyes widen. You bite your lip. “Sorry, I know we’re supposed to be at the party and all but--”

Lucifer shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter,” he says, and hesitates for a moment before brushing his hand across your face gently. “Let’s go back home,” he tells you softly, dropping his hand until he is able to grasp yours.

“Home?” You echo, following his lead with worry. “What do you mean? I thought you’d be mad that we’d leave the ball, but you want to go home?”

At this, Lucifer turns his head with brows drawn together, mirroring your expression of concern. “What do you mean?”

You stop in your tracks, and Lucifer has no choice but to drop your arms as you stand at a distance. “Lucifer,” you start to say, “I don’t understand. Today is Diavolo’s birthday party-- you made me a guest of honor and everything. Are-- are you sure you’re okay?”

Before Lucifer could reply, you felt a hand on your shoulder pull you back. You look behind you to see Beel guiding you behind him, like Lucifer was someone to be protected from. The thought makes your stomach churn.

“Hey, you’re being pretty weird right now, Lucifer,” Mammon retorts, coming up beside you. “Where do you think you’re going right now, anyhow? The castle is that way.”

Looking at Mammon, Lucifer falters, but after glancing back at you, something in him resolves and his face sets.

“We’re not going back to the party,” he says with a tone of finality.

Mammon sputters, “Wh-What--?!”

“Diavolo’s birthday party was months ago for me,” Lucifer tells you even as this statement makes you reel. “I understand this may be confusing, but please trust me. Come back home with me,” he says, this time more gently, holding out his hand again. “To us.”

“No one is going anywhere.”

Your heart jumps at the sound of the familiar voice, and with growing dread, you turn away from Lucifer-- gentle, desperate, firm, and casually cladded-- only to see another Lucifer in his demon form, wings bristling and eyes burning with a dark ember as he sees himself right before him..

The last month comes back to you all at once: the nightmares, the paralyzing grief, and the slow and steady tread to the life you had before in the Devildom. And you suddenly feel the sharp pang of loss again when you see all that you have built up, all this time convincing yourself that you had left no one behind, come crashing down.

There were now two Lucifers: one from the timeline in which you left and the one in which you came to.

The original Lucifer (your Lucifer, your mind croons cruelly) glares at his alterself, giving no quarter. “We,” he says darkly, transforming into his demonic form, “are going to be leaving. Whether you allow it is not of my concern.”

“What is happening?” Levi cries out, glancing between the two Lucifers, indiscernible from each other. “Why are there two of them?”

“That doesn’t matter,” says Mammon, growling. “What’s the deal, huh, Lucifer-- if you really are him.” He puts his hands on his hips and glares. “‘Cause if you really are him, you’d know how important--”

“Trust me,” your Lucifer replies coldly, “I know how important they are. I don’t need anyone telling me.”

The other Lucifer-- the one who pinned the brooch on for you-- steps forward and puts an arm to obscure his counterpart’s view of you. “Then leave,” he demands. “They’re not going with you.”

You can see your Lucifer’s wings spread wide in anger, but he sees you and is once again quelled. (You don’t remember having such an effect on him, but it hurts your heart trying to wonder why you do now.) He says your name again, and steps forward despite his alterself brother’s raising hackles. “Did you ever want to get back home to us at all? Did you ever think of us?” asks Lucifer, putting a hand on his chest, eyes soft. “Of me?”

“Of course!” You cry out before you could think of doing otherwise. You step forward, stopped only by the other Lucifer’s arm blocking your path. You squeeze your eyes against the tears that stung them. “Of course I did! How could I not?”

“You were gone for months,” your Lucifer tells you, voice strained. “No sign of you coming back whatsoever. I held hope that maybe someday you would return to us but--” His eyes flashes with something unfamiliar, something you hoped to see for as long as you have been in love with him. “I will not lose you. Even if it’s to myself.”

“I love you,” your Lucifer says with a voice as sincere and vulnerable as it could be. “Truly and deeply. Please-- come back.”

“Lucifer, I--”

You jump at the hand that grabs your wrist, and you look up to see the other Lucifer look at you with a deep-seeded fear that made your heart clench.

“I will not lose you a second time,” he says quietly to you, and your heart stutters. He glares at his counterpart with an intensity that rivaled even the hottest fires. “You’re outnumbered, you know,” he says coolly.

You’re unsure if the other Lucifer actually means it-- that he would have his brothers fight himself, even from another timeline. The way the brothers shift behind you tells you that this is and never will be an easy decision-- nor it was for you.

“I agree with Lucifer for once,” Satan comments, smiling with a sharpness that didn’t reach his eyes. “Brother or not… it’s a fact that you don’t belong here, and we don’t take kindly to other demons taking what’s ours.”

“Looks like you’re selfish in every timeline, huh, Lucifer?” Belphie goads unkindly, stepping up next to Lucifer with Satan flanking his other side.

Instead of flinching, your Lucifer looks at you before gazing at his brothers, half of whom was hesitant to fight and the other half desperately trying to find reasons to justify it. “Say what you want of me,” your Lucifer says quietly-- dangerously. “I did not come here to go back empty-handed.”

HIs alterself looks at you, searching for something in your face, before pushing you towards Asmo who holds you back. (And you wonder if there was something in his eyes that could rival what your Lucifer had or if you had only conjured up something you hoped to see.) With a flourish of wings, the other Lucifer remarks dryly, “Then I suspect... you will not return at all.”

It’s ironic to think that the two men ready to fight each other to the death are the only ones whom you have not made a pact with. You wonder if you could have. You wonder if both Lucifers would let you.

But as of now, you can only drop to the floor, wallowing in the turmoil of seeing the man you love destroy himself, screaming until your throat is hoarse even though your words go unheard.

In some ways, Barbatos was right. There could only be one timeline-- and you never had a choice in choosing which one it would be.

[pandoraimperatrix]

On the Sea

BatCat | Smut | 2,8k words | Read on AO3

Summary:  Bruce takes Selina to sail in his private island where no one can se them get busy on the deck. This piece belong to my Four Names ‘verse, but can be read independently, but if would be cool of you to check out the main story.

Selina knew she was being watched, and he knew she knew. It was all part of their game. Her legs swinging up and down blocking sometimes the view of the droplet of sweat that he was so attentively following. It slid from the nape of her head, between her shoulder’s blades and was now making its way all the way through her tanned skin to the small of her back; uninterrupted by the laces of her bikini because she had untied it ages ago when she laid to sunbath on the deck complaining she was bored. Bruce had not commented on her place of choice, that coincided to be right at his display, and continued to sail the boat, pretending to have all attention to the ocean and not to his tantalizing wife. That too, was part of their game.

She wanted him to be the first to break, and maybe he would, but it was too early to give up, and he had Selina’s natural impatience at his side.

“Hey, Cat” he called, and it took her a deliberately long moment to turn her face to him, lowering her cat eye framed shades to look at him with half-opened eyes “champagne?” he raised the bottle, before taking a sip without using a cup. He hid a satisfied smile when she swallowed dry.

Selina turned to her side, one hand supporting her head by the edge of her jaw, the other resting on the curve of her thigh. Breasts completely bare and adorned only by a silver medal hanging from her neck and twinkling in the sun. Bruce had to school himself to not choke, and he was pretty sure by the dirty smile on her face that she noticed him twitching.

He had married a witch.

“Should you be drinking and driving, I mean, sailing?”

Composed enough to be able to drink without embarrassing himself, Bruce took another sip.

“This bay is private, no other boats sail here, we’re fine.”

“No one?” she raised an eyebrow took off her shades, biting one temple tip. “Really? Interesting.”

And he knew for certain that she was not thinking about his reckless drinking. Damn, she was good, he could lose that one.

“So… Do you want?”

“Yeah, bring me a flute.”

She sat up, crossing her legs, the salty wind blew hair at her face, and she gathered her soft locks in a pile, using a strand of her on hair to tie it up, missing a few pieces that few around her face and neck. The sun reflected the golden tones of her curls giving her the illusion of an aura. When Bruce joined her sitting by her side with a flute and the bucket filled with ice and the bottle of champagne; he wished he had brought too paint and paper, but he knew that as much as he mastered the techniques, only a true artist could capture the vision Selina was presenting that day.

He rejoiced at the unadulterated pleasure that spread on her face when she took the first sip. Selina sighed, turning her face up to the sun, her leg touching his when her body moved, led by the swing of the boat. When she was actively trying to seduce him she could get everything from him. Made of him whatever she liked. But when she was like that, just her, just Selina, her smile earnest, just pleased by his company, in those moments, without even trying, that’s when he knew that, whatever seduction game they played, it was rigged against him, he’d lost from the start.

“What?” she asked with an amused expression.

Bruce leaned in, looking into her deep green pools, and slowly, erased the distance, capturing her lips. He barely registered the click of the glass hitting the wooden deck when she put her flute down to insert her fingers in his moist hair, while her other hand slid upwards his arm, kneading his shoulder before settling for his neck, rubbing his Adam’s apple up and down with her thumb. He dragged his tongue through the roof of her mouth until the fruity taste of the champagne faded and all that remained was pure Selina. She pulled away, breathing in and languidly offering her neck for meal, which he accepted, starving.

He kissed each of her beauty marks, there was so many of them, and maybe the sun had made new ones. Then, he tried to connect them with the tip of his tongue, pulling her close by the waist, her arms fell from his neck, and she relaxed. Lying down, Selina’s eyes locked in his, so lost in each other that neither of them noticed that her elbow tipped the glass flute down until they felt the cold bubbly liquid touching their fevered skin.

“Oops!” she said laughing and gently pushing him off her to look for the fallen object.

“Let it,” he groaned, trying to pull her back by the hips.

“Easy, big guy,” she said still amused, and standing up to put away the breakable items safely. “What if it breaks? I’m not risking a trip to the ER.”

Bruce sighed sadly watching her go, he lied on the deck, one arm under his head, waiting, when she came back Selina had a plastic bottle in her hand. He eyed it curiously.

“You are starting to look like a beet, and Alfred will have my ass if I don’t take good care of you.”

He made a disgusted face.

“Please never talk about Alfred having your ass ever again.”

Selina threw her head back in loud laughter.

“Dunno, B. Maybe I’m into silver foxes now,” she winked cheekily, kneeing down beside him and then throwing one knee across his hip and settling strategically on his bulging erection. Bruce licked his lips trying hard to not thrust.  

“Haha, so funny.”

She just smiled at that, and opened the sunscreen cap, squeezing product on her palms before starting to apply to his naked chest. And she took her sweet, sweet time with the task. She began with his solar plexus, spreading the white lotion upwards, feeling the roughness of the growing hairs, no reason to shave on vacation.

She kissed the scars she made on his left pectoral, and arched her body forwards to reach his collarbones, and neck, getting her face impossibly close to his and pulling away when he tried to kiss her. Ignoring his annoyed mutter, Selina, pulled his right arm up, carefully applying product from his shoulder to the tip of his fingers, then she did the same to his left arm. By then, he knew there was no way she wasn’t aware of how hard he was. She squeezed more product to her palm, and with the tip of her finger started to spread dollops to his face. He probably was looking funny, because he knew very well the twitching on her lips as she rubbed the bridge of his nose. Annoyed, he tried to steal a kiss.

“Bruce!” she chastised, trying to pull away in such way that instead of her lips, all Bruce could reach was her chin which he bit, eliciting a soft moan that made him realise that whole torture session wasn’t just wearing him down. Ignoring her protests, he propped himself up using his forearms and kissing her chin again, sliding his tongue down, following the paths of the droplets of salty sweat down the curve of her throat, biting her shoulder until he caught her nipple with his teeth. Selina gasped and pulled his head back roughly by the roots of his hair, forcing him to stare at her eyes. She was panting, and teasing to kiss him again, their lips inches apart.

“Let me finish,” she demanded.

“Eventually,” he retorted.

She let out a throaty laugh and pushed him back to the deck.

“Don’t make me tie you up,” she threatened.

Bruce shut his eyes, trying to control his own breath, Selina was still sitting on his erection, and in that moment he’d give her anything she wanted for a bit of friction, so, when he felt her weight shifting he almost cried in frustration.

“What are you- oh…”

He looked down and she was sitting on his thighs now, squeezing sunscreen directly on his abs, she spread the product meticulously with her hands while Bruce watched, he had never thought that such mundane action could be so sensual. Her brow furrowed as she worked, a droplet of her own sweat fell making a small pool in his product covered skin, and she dutifully wiped it again. Then, she reversed her position, giving him premium view of her ass while she worked on his thighs, legs and feet.

“Finished?” he asked, going mad.

She picked the cloth that he had used to protect the deck from the watermarks of the melting ice of the bucket he had brought the champagne in to relief her own heated skin, patting herself on her face and neck.

“I still have to get you back, don’t wanna lose you for something stupid like skin cancer.”

“Yeah?” he said sitting up and picking one of the remaining ice rocks and inserting in his mouth. “What about you?”

She smiled.

“Already applied before we came out.”

“Aw,” he pouted.

Selina reached backwards to his face, thumb rubbing his jaw.

“Don’t be sad, baby, there’s always after sun moisturizing.”

He took her hand and kissed it, trying to lead his kisses through her wrist, but she pulled it back and got off him.

“Belly down, pretty boy.”

“Come on, Selina, one kiss,” he whined.

“No, turn over.”

Sighing, he obeyed. Bruce felt her approaching, he thought her breath on his neck was just his wife being especially mean, but she sucked his earlobe making him yelp. She giggled.

“God, I hate you,” he groaned.

She clicked her tongue.

“Your nose will grow, Pinocchio.”

He chuckled charmed against his annoyance.

“Are you done?”

“Geez, I didn’t even start. And I told you to lie down, why are you sitting?”

“Kinda hard to lie on my belly now, Selina,” he deadpanned.

He heard her have a fit of giggles and rest her forehead on his shoulder to gather her bearings.

“Sorry,” she finally managed, applying product on his shoulders first.

“Are you though?”

“Nah,” she said shamelessly, as her hands slid through his back, paying attention to each corner.

“Just as I thought,” he muttered, sighing.

“Now, I’m done.”

“Hallelujah.”

“You are such a cry baby, Bruce, lie down.”

“Selina…”

“I told you to lie down. Belly up.”

He sighed an did as he was told, trying to imagine what she would invent to torture him now, but was caught completely under guard when in a quick motion, Selina inserted her hand inside his trunks and pulled his cock out, sucking the tip.

“Holy-!”

He shut his eyes, seeing stars, his ears ringing. When he opened his eyes again, he found he gaze on him, and Bruce needed all his hard training to not embarrass himself. Selina’s kisses went down his shaft, to it’s base and spreading kisses around the area, to his navel while her hand pumped. She liked upwards again, twirling her tongue around the head and kissing it lovingly without breaking eye contact with him. One of Bruce’s hands entered her hair, undoing the makeshift ponytail she had made before, scratching her scalp as she hollowed her cheeks, blowing him skilfully.  

“Love,” he called weakly. “It’s enough, please.”

She gave him a last lick before letting go, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Selina walked in her knees positioning herself in his lap, Bruce sat up and his time she didn’t reject his lips, holding his face with both hands while his explored her body, lovingly caressing the curve of her waist, kneading her rear, and pulling her closer by the curve of her knee. He bit her cheek weekly, and sucked the pulse on her neck, his hand grabbing one of her breast and guiding it to his mouth making her moan and thrust against him.

Sighing, Selina pulled his head up again, guiding him back to her lips, her chest only separated from him by the layer of perspiration. She kissed him for what felt like forever and never, never long enough. Pulling his bottom lip until it felt numb, and stopping just to look deep into his eyes every time they stopped to catch a breath.

“What are we going to do about your bottoms?” he asked before sucking her earlobe.

“What about them?” she answered, her voice barely audible.

“I could rip them off,” his hand already pulling the elastic.

She slapped his hand.

“Don’t you dare! I love this bikini, just work around it.”

“You could take them off…”

“Then I’d have to get up.”

He seemed to consider.

“Yeah. You are right.”

“As always.”

He snorted, and kissed her again, his hand changing directions to her centre, pulling the fabric to the side and sliding a finger up and down her vulva. Selina shut her eyes, her mouth falling in pleasure.

“Cat you are so, so wet.”

“Yeah?” she breathed.

“Yes. Is it all for me?”

She let out a suffering chuckle.

“Might be.”

“Oh,” he made when she thrusted against his hand, “does it feel good?”

“Can be better.”

“How so?”

Selina made an impatient sound.

“Just fuck me already, Bruce.”

“When you ask so nicely…”

She lifted her hips, hoisting herself through his neck, and, Bruce, pushed her bikini bottom’s all the way to the side with one hand and aligned himself to her pussy with the other, and Selina fell, joining the two of them together, finally. He groaned against her ear, hands dragging upwards to her waist and holding her hard in place.

“You are so impossibly tight.”

“If you are managing such big words yet, I can get tighter,” saying that she squeezed him, and Bruce cursed loudly, Selina chucked and started riding him. “Look at me, Bruce” she ordered, “look at me or I’ll stop.”

He did, and she smiled sweetly contrasting with how relentlessly she was fucking him, holding his face to look at her. Selina’s eyes shut, she arched her back. Her chin following her movements as she let out a loud moan dragging from the depths of her throat. Bruce held her strongly as she trashed, her thrusts getting erratic and without rhythm, slowing down, until they became just languidly undulations.

Soothing her with kisses, Bruce rose her limp body from his lap, and lied her down on the deck. She oversaw his ministrations with half-lidded eyes, relinquishing control for the time being. Bruce pulled down her bottoms, finally, throwing it at the cockpit’s direction. He dove, kissing her belly, grabbed her right thigh and sucked the soft skin of the inner part, kissing and licking his way to her knee and shin, biting the heel of her foot and eliciting a giggle from Selina.

Smiling fondly at her, Bruce, rested her leg on his shoulder, and then picked her left leg, giving it the same treatment. Then, he grabbed her by the waist, adjusting her body one last time before entering her again with a groan. Selina rose her hands to his face again, tracing his bottom lip with her thumb as he thrusted against her slowly.

“I fucking love you,” she whispered losing herself in the sensation, Bruce started picking up rhythm and talking faded. Coherence completely left when he started rubbing her clit without stopping his thrusts, trying to get her to come again before his own release became too hard to stop. He leaned more into her direction, seeking for more contact, and one of her legs slid down to hook around his thigh, the other one remained on his shoulder, providing an angle of penetration that only someone flexible like Selina could provide.

He kissed her to insanity, moaning inside her mouth, and when it became too hard to concentrating on kissing, he let out her bottom lip with a pop. Bruce, let go of her clit to support his weight against the deck giving him leverage and Selina substituted it with her own. He reached for the leg that slid down, pulling it up again and folding it to let him go deeper, the slight change of angle did if for Selina and she fell apart again, calling desperately for his name. Bruce didn’t stop, seeking his own release relentlessly until he too reached climax.

When his soul returned to his body, he opened his eyes to find her looking at him with besotted eyes, her hands roaming through his back slowly, giving him goosebumps. Bruce let go of her legs, letting her body relax, and he fell beside her, panting.

Selina turned to her side, propping her head on her hand and sliding her foot up his inner leg languidly.

“My knees are completely ruined,” she complained gleefully.

He chuckled.

“We’ll get you a pillow next time.”

She snorted.

“You are such a dork.”  

--------------------------------------------------

Guys, it's so hot, SO HOT, I can’t remember how rain felt like. So have some hot smut for all your BatCat needs. XOXO

[sleep-is-for-the-sane]

Here

Hey guys, so I am really sorry for the sad stories so far but Coronacation is doing a toll on my mental health so… If ya want something different, request it!

Warning: SELF HARM

Word count: 2480 words (The longest thing i’ve ever fricken written in my life!)

You looked down at your hand, seeing it covered in red. So were your forearms, shoulders, collarbone, and thighs. You placed the blood tinted blade down on your bathroom counter and turned your attention to your mirror. Your hair was matted and greasy, your eyes were a dull shade of (eye color), your smile that was always hiding your feelings gone. You had reduced yourself to who you truly were. A person who had no healthy way of coping with the anxiety and depression they had. You continued to stare at your reflection for a few more minutes until you heard your phone ring. It was the BAU alerting you that you had a new case. 

You sighed and jumped into the shower for the first time in a week and washed clean of dried blood. You wore a pair of black jeans, a tank top, a big hoodie, and a pair of converse. You threw your hair up into a messy bun, grabbed your go-bag, and went on your way to meet the rest of the team.

You got into the elevator from the parking garage at the same time as Hotch, your boss and best friend, which was the last thing you wanted right now. “I thought you were sick. Are you feeling better?” He asked

“Oh, yeah. I feel fine now, thanks for asking.” You laughed as you messed with the hood of your hoodie, making sure that your cuts were covered.

Hotch noticed your odd behavior but made no comment on it. You rushed out of the elevator and directly to the conference room in an attempt to stay out of view as long as possible. Everyone gathered in the room and the meeting started. You didn’t pay attention, you could barely look at your team without wanting to run out of the room and back to your prison of comfort. You felt so inferior to your team. They were all so professional and quick on their feet. They were all so confident and you saw yourself as the opposite. You saw yourself as a burden to the team, that they’d be better off without you.

“Hey Y/N, let’s go. Hotch said Wheels up in 20, Babygirl.” Morgan mumbled as you felt him rub your shoulder. You winced and pulled away from his touch. You knew that had definitely confused him since you normally returned his physical affections with some of your own. You both walked out of the room to get ready for the trip out to Jacksonville, Florida.

~Time Skippies~

You had finally caught the Unsub. Although it was surprisingly early in the morning when you did so you had the rest of the day in Florida, in summer, to hang out. And of course, JJ, Prentiss, and Morgan got everyone to decide on going to the beach. You knew that you were screwed whether you went to the beach or stayed at the hotel.

(You chose to go to the beach)

You sighed as you pulled on your swimsuit and thought of ways that you could hide the cuts on your shoulders and thighs but to no avail. You looked through our go bag one more time and decided to pull on a pair of shorts that were barely long enough to cover your cuts and scars and pulled a lightweight hoodie over your torso. “Come on, Y/N! Let’s go!” Yelled an excited Garcia as the bathroom door was pushed open. 

You smiled, grabbed your (bag of choice), and headed out with the ret of the team to the beach. When you finally found a spot to set up everyone laid their towels down and split up to do their own things. You decided to stay near everyone’s things and watch the ocean. After a few minutes you started looking through your bag for your phone and earbuds so you could listen to music but to no avail. You don’t know why exactly but this small little inconvenience set you off. 

You started hyperventilating and you felt tears sting your eyes. On top of that you were growing increasingly hot by the minute. “Miss, are you okay?” Asked a small voice. You looked up to see a little girl staring at you. You let out a breathy laugh and smiled.

“Oh, I’m just a little sad. Nothing for you to worry about.”

“Well i know that going in the water makes me happy. Maybe it will make you happy too!” She bounced excitedly when you agreed to go into the water and play with her. But you failed to see Hotch coming back to your area with food in hand before taking off the hoodie and shorts you were using as a cover up.

You had barely gotten into the cool water and the little girl was already splashing you with water. You continued your water fight for about 15 minutes before her parents called her out of the water. You turned around to head back to your things but noticed that your boss was sitting on his towel next to yours waiting for you. Your anxiety came back and told you to turn around and stay in the water but you had already made eye contact with Hotch who was motioning for you to come back to the team’s spot.

You tried your best to get your shorts and hoodie on without Hotch seeing your cuts and scars and you thought it worked but you realized you were sorely mistaken when you sat down. “Take your hoodie off. You can’t hide them forever, Y/N” Hotch sighed. You looked to him with wide eyes.

“Hotch, I-I don’t know what you mean?”

“You don’t have to be afraid alright? Just let me see, please.”

Your eyes watered as you weakly pulled the hoodie over your head and off of your arms.Hotch looked at your defeated form as you slumped down and turned away from his gaze. You sat in tears and he just stared at you. No words spoken, no way of knowing what he was thinking. It was terrifying and you just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for a few weeks or for as long as it takes to get rid of the ever present tiredness you’ve felt for so long. “Hey, look at me. I’m not mad or disappointed. I just wanna help you.” Hotch soothed as he gently rubbed up and down your arm. You anxiously met his gaze with your own to find the most caring eyes that you have seen in months. He opened his arms wide and you gladly accepted his embrace. 

You felt safe in his arms but you had never told him that. You didn’t want to mess up the relationship that the both of you had already. So you enjoyed the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around you for as long as you could. 

Sadly that came to an end when the team came back without warning. You were mortified to say the least, having your scars on display for your misfit family’s viewing pleasure. Penelope was the first to say something. “Oh, Sugar! Those look so painful. Let me help you.” She gasped as she entered Mom mode. She grabbed a bottle of lotion from her bag and started applying it to your cuts. Spencer and JJ started asking if you were seeing a therapist or if there was any way that they could help you, which you brushed away with an “I’m fine” Even though you know that excuse wouldn’t work anymore. Morgan looked at you with sad eyes but said nothing and Prentiss was hugging your side. Hotch was on your other side, just holding your hand.

On the jet, everyone fell asleep except for you. You felt so guilty for worrying the team that you were trying to hide in your hoodie and just calm yourself from today’s events. Hotch walked into the cabin and slid into the booth beside you. “Hey, come here. Let me hug you.” He mumbled as he pulled your body into his side. You ended up with Hotch sitting in the window seat and you on his lap, legs extended to the neighboring seat. “You know I love you, right? You can always come to me. I wish you felt safe confiding in me. I wish I could cuddle all the bad thoughts out of you but I can’t. At least not yet. What I’m meaning to say is that I have feelings for you.” 

You moved your head to look at his face. You smiled and nuzzled your face back into the crook of his neck. “I have feelings for you too, Aaron.” You fell asleep as he kissed the top of your head, safe in his arms.

(You stayed at the Hotel)

“Please come with us?” Whined Garcia as she sat at the foot of your hotel bed. You giggled and set your book down. 

“Sorry Technology Goddess, but I would rather stay in an air conditioned room with a good book than get a sunburn and be sweaty on the jet home. Thanks for the offer though.” The group of girls sighed but honored your wish and went to the beach without you. After a few chapters of reading even the air cooler was struggling to keep you cool so you decided to switch into a loose tank top and a pair of shorts.

You eventually got bored of reading so you put your headphones in and listened to (Podcast/Music/other media) with your eyes closed. Unfortunately you thought that everyone left the hotel with the girls but in reality Hotch stayed back at the hotel as well. Therefore you left yourself unguarded from unwanted eyes. You jumped when you heard the door open.

“Hey, Y/N. I was wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat with the team?” Hotch said as he turned around to close the door. You quickly hid yourself with the bed comforter and tried to calm your heart beat. Hotch looked a little confused but walked over to you. “I know you’re awake, come on. Don’t make me drag you off the bed.” He laughed as you pulled the comforter tighter around yourself. 

“Go away Hotch, I’m not hungry.”

In one sharp tug, you felt the cold air hit your skin as Hotch stood with your makeshift shield in hand. You felt the burn of his gaze on your body as you tugged at your clothes, trying to cover your cuts and scars as much as possible. You didn’t even realize the bed dip next to you until you felt Hotch’s arm wrap around you. You desperately pulled at your clothes as Hotch pulled you back to lean against him. He himself had propped himself up on the pillows and headboard. “Hey, hey, stop. It’s alright. You're with me. You’re safe.” Hotch soothed as you curled into his side.

You pushed away from him but he held you tighter. You fought for a few minutes but eventually gave up. You looked down in a last ditch effort to not talk about the elephant in the room. You felt tears run down your face as hotch pulled you closer to him, doing his best to comfort you. It felt nice to just sit with him and cuddle in silence. But the silence came to an end when hotch shifted in his position. He moved you in between his legs with your back resting on his chest. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? Why didn’t you tell me? We could have helped you.” Hotch asked, voice wavering. 

You felt a tear drop on your shoulder as he pulled the blanket back around the both of you. “I was ashamed, Hotch. I’m responsible for so many lives but I can’t seem to get mine under control. I feel like everything is more than I can handle. That’s why I've been gone for a week. I was sitting alone in my apartment just feeling sorry for myself. Everyone on this team is amazing and has a role to play in our family of misfits but I don’t know where I fit, Hotch.” Your walls began to crack and cave under your boss’s gaze. Hotch’s arms grew tighter around you and you turned so you were hugging him.

He kissed the top of your head. “You are the member who keeps this family going when there are no strands of hope to grasp. You become a mother when you need to, a best friend, a shoulder to cry on, someone to call at 3 AM when the job gets too much. Y/N, You are the heart of this team when we want to stop beating.” Hotch murmurs into your hair. Eventually you both end up cuddling in the blanket cocoon that you made. 

About a half hour later, both of you were sleeping peacefully but a sharp knock on the door broke you out of your trance. You whined and pushed yourself into Hotch. The door opened to reveal the whole team with take-out bags filled with food. “So that’s why you didn’t answer your phones.” Rossi stated as everyone else filed into the room. Hotch sat up and looked at you. 

“Do you want me to grab your hoodie?” He whispered. You turned to face the group nodding your head. But before you could get your hoodie on Garcia saw a few scars and cuts from an uncovered shoulder. 

She gasped and walked over to you. “Come here, Gorgeous.” You went to protest but that was cut short when you were yanked off of the bed to reveal the rest of your cuts. The team looked over your shaking form with concerned eyes. Garcia sat you on the desk chair in the room and started rubbing lotion on your cuts, making them feel better instantly. Spencer started asking you if you were seeking help and if you needed help finding a professional. JJ and Emily went through your bag grabbing you a new hoodie and not so secretly confiscating anything that could be used as a self-harm tool. Derek was knelt in front of you, wrapping your cuts with bandages and muttering about how they should have noticed. Rossi was sorting out food and pouring people drinks so that you weren’t overcrowded. 

Once everything calmed down, everyone was hanging out in your hotel room watching daytime television shows and eating. You were in between Hotch and Derek on one of the beds. “Hey, babygirl. You know you can talk to us right? We are your family.” Derek commented as he kissed the side of your head. Hotch quickly wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his side out of jealousy. You smiled to yourself. “I do now.”

[kazoo5480]

The entire ride back to Granny’s Emma’s heart felt like it was pounding in her chest. This was a big leap of faith for someone like her to take on, but Killian never lied to her. Every single thing he said was the truth. Nothing triggered her or made her feel the need to flee. It was eerily calm in her subconscious and Emma was processing it all.

She placed her forehead against his back, and knew she needed to call August. She needed him to talk to her. Yes, August needed to come here and tell her to her face that she was insane but that she wasn’t being blind or completely dumb in this situation. She squeezed her eyes shut, just trying to calm down her beating heart. This was terrifying for her.

Killian felt Emma shift, a smile breaking his lips. Emma was a deep thinker; he knew this already about her. He knew instinctively that he should allow her to grab her stuff at her own pace. He could give her this, being away from her for an hour. He had to make good on his promise of patience. He smiled though, they were absolutely mad for leaping like this, but he didn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thought.

He felt it deep inside, this was a good thing, and he refused to let any doubt or fear dictate this impulsive decision. He wasn’t dumb, he knew living with someone you hardly knew was going to be hard at times, but it would be worth it. He already prepared himself that Emma was going to fight with him on things, she was stubborn, and he looked forward to the makeup sex already.

He wouldn’t let her push him away, he would be patient and kind. Two things he knew she needed from him, but he was just grateful that she was even letting him get this close to knowing her at all.

He pulled up at Granny’s and held his hand out for her. Emma didn’t even have to ask before he looked at her and said he was going to head back and get the truck, and to text him when she was ready. She smiled and kissed him.

“Thank you for being patient,” she murmured. “Wait, you don’t have my cell phone,” she said. Killian smiled and pulled up a contact card for her. She grinned, her phone number and a photo he had taken of her today at the beach when she wasn’t looking was the ID. “You work fast, Jones. I didn’t even notice.”

He grinned delightedly. “Piracy is my superpower, Swan.” She watched him head out of the lot and dialed August immediately.

“Swan?”

“I need you to come here!”

“So, you decided? What do you need me to bring? He was joking when he said ‘everything’ right, because that would take me a few days and you can’t pay me in snacks when I have eaten all of yours.”

Emma laughed. “Just some clothes, maybe two boxes, and my blanket.”

“Let’s Facetime. You can tell me what to grab out of your closet, and I’ll walk through the apartment with you.”

“Okay.” The notification for Facetime immediately popped up and she accepted.

August took one look at her and saw that she was worried, nervous even. “Emma, you look terrified, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “It’s insane.”

He nodded. “But love is worth the risk sometimes, Em. Not everyone is out to tear you apart. Neal was a singular case of being an asshole. If this Killian of yours had you thinking of uprooting your world for him in just a few days- go with that, don’t run from it. We have been alone a long time, Em. If it goes down in a dumpster fire of flames I will be right here still, probably picking you up from Maine and hiding you here while I dispose of his remains,” he said, smiling at her.

Emma laughed. “He said I needed a hobby that wasn’t morbid. Once he meets you, he will understand why my mind naturally goes to murder, or dismemberment. It’s your fault.”

August laughed at her. “Well, let's take a look at this closet.”

“Don’t rifle through my panties, just grab them all.”

“No. I know that there are things in there that even I don’t want to see,” he said, totally deadpan.

Emma rolled her eyes. “You said you would help, so help. I need panties, bras, and socks. So just do it.”

He exhaled on a huff. “You owe me so much for asking me to touch your underwear.”

“I know,” she laughed.

They spent the next 45 minutes picking clothes, and she giggled as August himmed and hawed over her underwear. He grabbed everything she asked for, and she promised him any favor of his choice when he arrived. She would keep her room at Granny’s for him to stay in, and he agreed to be there sometime tomorrow night, and she thanked him.

“I hope I’m not crazy, but if I am, will you get me out of here?”

August paused. “If I sense that something isn’t right, I will tell both of you that to your faces. But yeah of course, I will always save you, Em. Always. I am actually proud of you for taking a chance for one time in your life. You know when someone lies to you, and that lie detector of yours hasn’t gone off once. That means something I think.”

Emma looked at him on the screen and nodded. “I know.”

He smiled. “Love you, see you tomorrow. I think I want something expensive for dinner, be prepared to wine and dine me.” She laughed and agreed.

Emma texted Ruby and she heard stomping on the steps, and a knock came at her door less than a minute later. “I didn’t mean for you to run here, Ruby!”

Ruby looked breathless as she smiled. “What is going on?! Tell me everything!”

Emma smiled in return. “I am going to stay over at Killian’s…and take my stuff there.”

Ruby’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “WHAT! Oh my god, you’re moving in together. I knew this was coming. Wait, are you staying?”

Emma nodded. “For now, I still don’t have my car, and I will eventually need to go back to Boston, but this just makes more sense…” Ruby squealed in glee and crushed Emma to her.

“I hoped you would stay!” she said and fell back on the bed laughing. “I am so happy right now! Wait til M hears I was right, that I knew it!”

Emma laughed. "We are insane right?”

Ruby nodded. “But I think it's worth it. You are already in love with the guy, and he was completely taken by you the moment he brought you here. I know Jones. He loves hard, and I just saw it written all over that man.”

Emma looked shocked, but Ruby treaded lightly seeing her instinct about spooking Emma was correct. “Emma,” she began, rising from the bed and running her hands along Emma’s arms in an effort to sooth, “it’s going to be ok, and if it isn’t, then you come back here, and I will give you my car and you can go back to Boston, no questions.”

Emma looked at her, dumbfounded. “Why are you so nice to me? You don’t even know me?”

Ruby smiled, her red lips pursing as she thought of what to say. “I just have a feeling, and I am nice. I saw something in you, and yeah this may seem insane, but I am an optimist. I root for love, and moving fast when it feels right, and the way you guys acted- it was like kismet intervening, instantaneous sparks and fireworks,” she said, shrugging.

“With Graham, he was starstruck by you. But you looked at him and saw nothing but a guy, no sparks.”

“It turns out he was a dick anyways,” Emma said, and Ruby tilted her head in question.

“I have never seen him act like that. It surprised all of us, especially M's. For as long as we have all hung out, he never acted that way with Jones. Jealous testosterone rampage, it just never happened. I knew you would shake things up,” she said, smirking.

Emma walked to the closet getting Ruby’s clothes out and handing them to her. “My friend August is coming tomorrow, bringing me some stuff from Boston. I think you should come to dinner with us.���

“Absolutely!” Ruby said smiling. “Is he single?”

Emma laughed nodding. “And gay.”

Ruby smirked. “Perfect, maybe I can get him to move here too!”

Emma leaned back against the wall. “I am not moving here, Ruby.”

Ruby moved back towards her, clasping her shoulders. “You keep saying that, but everything you do is telling me the opposite. So, whatever gets you through the night, Em.”

Ruby helped Emma fold things, and she looked at the clock, “Text Jones and let him know you’re ready.” Emma hesitated just for a moment but realized she had a plan B and plan C if things didn’t go right.

“Stop analyzing, Emma. Jones is probably a basket case, online shopping to Emma-fy his loft.” Emma laughed, hoping that wasn’t the case.

Killian was on Amazon ordering all kinds of shit- shampoo, conditioner, soap, razors that had soap built in, body lotions, blankets, memory foam pillows, new sheets, a robe that looked soft, a new down comforter- his cart looked like a woman’s. He almost clicked other female products and decided he needed to draw the line and hold himself back. “Emma can buy her own stuff, you idiot,” he said aloud since the loft was empty.

She hadn’t texted him yet, but he knew she would. He made sure to add The Princess Bride to his Amazon queue. His phone beeped, Swan: Ready when you are. He smiled and hit complete order, shutting his laptop. As he stood up he realized he just dropped half a grand on things she didn’t ask for. He had never done something so impulsively.

He contemplated cancelling the order, but he didn’t. He could use some new things, it was fine, it would be fine. He exhaled and headed out the door to the truck. They were absolutely mad, and he grinned like he just won the lottery.

Ruby helped Emma carry all of her bags down the steps and she held Emma’s room for August for two nights in case. Killian pulled up as Emma made the last trip down after making sure she got it all. Killian was already up and out, loading the bags into the backseat.

“Thanks, Ruby. See you tomorrow?” Emma said and Ruby nodded.

“Goodnight, Jones,” she called and wiggled her red nails at them, cackling as she walked back towards the diner.

Emma rolled her eyes, and Killian smiled at her. “Relax, Swan. I will wait at least a day to propose marriage. I think asking August for his blessing would be appropriate.” He winked, and Emma felt anxious.

“Come on,” he said, pulling her toward the truck.

“You’re really sure about this?” she asked nervously.

“Yes. I am not giving you back.” Killian didn’t realize the reaction it stirred in Emma’s chest when he said that. Once he realized how it would be received by someone who had been given back, he opened his mouth to apologize when Emma held her hand up stopping him from uttering a word.

“Okay, let’s go.”

They were able to get everything up to the loft in one trip. “August is coming tomorrow.” Emma said casually as she hung her things in his closet like she had always been there.

“When?” he asked, tucking away her stuff in the dresser drawers he emptied for her.

“Tomorrow. He is staying in my room at Granny’s.”

Killian stopped. “Why are you keeping your room at Granny’s?” he said, gesturing to all the stuff they just brought. His heart jumped, his anxiety kicking in.

Emma walked up to him and circled his neck with her arms. “I’m not, but I did for two nights in case he decided to stay an extra night since he is driving me some stuff from Boston. It’s the least I could do.”

Killian wrapped his arms around her waist, relieved. “Some of it? Not all of it?”

Emma shook her head. “I will go back to Boston at some point, Killian, even if it’s just for my stuff. But for now, I am here, so demonstrate that patience you promised.”

He nodded. “As you wish, love.”

Killian headed towards the kitchen and looked in the fridge, he needed to run to the store. “Swan?”

“What?” she called back.

“What do you eat?” and he heard her laugh.

“Food?”

“Can you come here?” he called. She came down the hall dressed in a white nightgown that he hadn’t seen yet, and he grinned at her comfortable appearance.

“We need food. What do you eat?”

“Anything a ten-year-old eats.” She grinned as she sat at the island.

“What does that even mean?” he asked, smiling as he grabbed a pen and his pad.

“Grilled cheese, pizza, chips, cookies, and gummy anything pretty much.” She laughed at the look of horror on his face.

“Your body looks like that, and that is your diet?”

She bit her lip and nodded. “Pancakes and hot chocolate, too. Oh, whipped cream and cinnamon.” He wrote all these things down.

“You eat like a child. I am feeding you other things besides children’s snacks,” he said, smiling.

She waved him off. “I’ll go to the store tomorrow, just make your list, Captain.”

He grinned. “I like that,” he said, smirking.

“Are you hungry now?” he asked her, and she looked up, shaking her head.  

“I have a question for you though.”

“Okay, ask away,” he said, milling about the kitchen opening cupboards and looking for something.

“Do you smoke inside?” He shook his head.

“In the shop, or outside I do. Not in the loft, why? Does it bother you?”

Emma shook her head. “Nope.” He smiled.

“Does my diet bother you?” she teased, and he nodded.

“Absolutely, I need to get you healthier eating habits before you turn into a preservative,” he asserted, and she laughed.

“I am hungry, you’re sure you aren’t?” She shook her head again. He made a sandwich and Emma curled up on the couch, turning the lamp on. He smiled at how comfortable she seemed.

“Check the queue,” he said as he chewed, and Emma fired up the TV.

“You added it?” she asked, kind of in awe, and he nodded and swallowed.

“I also did some impulse shopping, so don’t be alarmed if ten Amazon boxes show up tomorrow.” She laughed, shaking her head.“What?” he said, and she just shook her head.

“You didn’t have to do that Jones, seriously. What did you buy?”

“Stuff,” he answered and she raised an eyebrow, smirking.

“What kind of stuff?”

He shrugged and sat next to her. “You will just have to wait and see.” She wrapped her arms around his waist snuggling into him as she started the movie.

He liked this, he liked all of this. This is what he had been missing, and he didn’t even know it. He felt Emma laugh and it vibrated through him. He felt her smile against his shirt when she loved parts of the movie. He just rubbed her arm, smiled, and kissed her hair as he  soaked in this feeling of having her here in his life.

He had dozed off sometime before the end of the movie. Emma clicked off the TV, and rinsed his plate, placing it in the drying rack. Leaning over him, she tried to rouse him. “Killian, bed.” He turned over, grumbling at her.

She smiled. This level of domesticity was foreign to her, and she wondered if she should leave him. She decided to cover him with a blanket and headed into his bedroom, falling asleep quickly. She felt him come in sometime in the night and wrap his arm over her waist, spooning her from behind. She smiled and fell back asleep, snuggling in under the covers.

The sun was bright through the open windows, and Killian’s alarm went off on his phone, which he quickly silenced. He glanced over, finding Emma still asleep. It was still early, and she looked beautiful sleeping with the morning sun shining on her blonde curls. She was on her side facing him, her small hand under her head as she slept.

The freckles on her nose were adorable, and she had a small smile on her face like she was dreaming. He was being a creep. Stop watching her sleep , he chastised himself. He ran his fingers up and down her smooth thigh, and Emma smiled still asleep. He trailed his fingers over the back of her thigh, and she let out a giggle.

“It’s early, Jones,” she murmured, and he smiled leaning in to kiss her neck softly.

“And I see no problem with trying to rouse you so that we can start the day off properly,” he said against her skin.

Her green eyes opened, and she smiled, her arm wrapping around his neck and pulling him to her lips. “Morning,” she said and kissed him, and he took full advantage of her sleepy state, completely pliable, and he crawled over her as she shifted to her back.

Killian kissed her, tasting her toothpaste from the night before and she shifted to let him lay between her legs. He felt her hands move down his sides as she pushed his boxers down. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, he raised his hand under her nightgown, and found her bare.

He leaned back and tugged her nightgown up and off of her. “You are an incredibly beautiful woman, Swan,” he said as he cupped her breast, running his thumb over her soft nipple. She smiled up at him and he leaned in to kiss her again, her plump lips crushed to his. She reached for his cock and he made a low groaning noise as she rubbed the tip of his cock over her soft folds, moaning at the sensation.

Pulling back slightly he leaned on his forearms on either side of her head, and began kissing her neck, his chest rubbing against hers. Shifting his hips as she opened her thighs wider to accommodate him, he slid inside of her until he was completely surrounded by her.

They both moaned at the sensation. Killian took his time, languidly sliding in and out of Emma. He intertwined their hands by her head as he plunged in as deep as he could, feeling that soft ridge inside her, and Emma felt like every push and pull just pulled her closer to the edge. She basked in the affection she felt pouring out Killian as he took her like this.

Killian’s breath was warm on her neck as he buried his face in her throat. He placed open mouthed kisses along it, and pinned their hands by her head. Emma couldn’t touch him back, he wanted her to accept what he was giving her, their bodies as close as they could get.

Emma needed to touch him, sliding her hands free of his, and grabbed Killian’s ass, pulling him deeper until she felt her orgasm beginning to stir.“Babe, I’m so close,” she said on a moan. She clenched down as she felt the familiar pulse buzzing through her. “Ohhh,” she moaned as he angled himself pushing deeper and harder, rolling his hips. Her nails dug into his tight ass cheeks, crying out for him as her orgasm crashed over her.

Killian bit down on her shoulder and followed her, unable to fight the pulsing walls that anchored him firmly inside Emma.

Emma felt spurts deep inside her, and she sighed, the sensation prolonging the waves she was still riding out.

Killian placed a kiss to her neck and slid out of her and onto his side. The sheet pooled at their waists and Emma gazed at him with a sated smile on her perfect lips. “Wow,” she breathed, and giggled, exhaling deeply and he laughed too, nodding his head. She rolled to her side and looked at him, his clear blue eyes boring into hers. “I like waking up with you,” she said. Those words filled his whole body with something he couldn’t explain, his heart expanding with pride at her praise.

“I like waking up with you, too. Did you call me babe?” he asked her with a smirk.

Emma shrugged. “It just came out, heat of the moment and all that.”

He laughed and moved to kiss her one last time. “I have to shower,” he said, and she nodded. He crawled out of the sheets, and she heard the shower start. Her phone alarm went off and she pulled on her nightgown before going to start the coffee pot.

She made scrambled eggs, really one of the few things she could cook. She should probably find a cookbook, she thought to herself. What are you thinking Emma? WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW! She shook the thought off and stirred some cheese into the eggs.

Killian dressed, and smelled food and coffee. Emma was sitting at the island, her laptop open and her hair piled on her head. “You cooked? Is it safe?” She shot him a glare. “I’m kidding,” he said, and sat beside her, drinking the coffee that she made- much stronger than he was used to and kissed her cheek.

“Thank you for breakfast,” he cooed.

She grumbled at him as she typed. Her phone chimed, alerting her that August was on the road already. He shared his coordinates with her so she could follow his GPS. She opened the app and saw him turning off of her street. “August just left,” she informed him, showing him her screen.

He sipped his coffee and nodded. “He demanded a fancy dinner as compensation for his presence, is there anywhere fancy around here?” she asked.  

“Let me think about it, I will come up with something,” he said.

“I invited Ruby along too, thinking he should meet the two people I have here,” she said, still not looking at him as she focused on her email.  

“Alright, I will be downstairs if you need me.” She nodded, reading her emails. The front door shut, and Emma sighed. Would it always be this intense between them? She wanted his company even while she worked. You are being dumb, she told herself, needy and dumb and you’d better get it together or August is going to tease the shit out of you. She smiled, excited to see her friend, it had been too long. She called him, and he picked up immediately.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

“Hey, I am tracking you.”

“Figured as much. Are you working?”

“Yep, looks like something I can do remotely, tracking bank transfers, looks like a big payout,” she said while she scanned the file.

“Well, I should be there around 6. I will be hungry, and in need of a cocktail.”

“I can manage that,” she smirked. “Drive safely.”

“Love you.”

“Ditto.”

Emma called her boss, Cleo. She filled her in on her car, and what she was doing. Her boss was not surprised about her car, but shocked that she was still in Maine.

“What’s going on with you, Emma?” Cleo asked.

“I’m just looking over the new file you sent. What do you mean?”

Cleo sighed, “I meant what are you doing still in Maine? Want to fill me in?”

“I told you, the car parts aren’t here yet,” she said skirting the question.

“Emma Swan!”

“I can do most of it remotely.” She paused, choosing her words. “I have been thinking about it all, and I kind of like it here.”

“Who is he?” Cleo prodded.

“I don’t know, someone. I can't answer that now.”

“Does Booth know?”

“He is arriving tonight, and we will see how it goes,” Emma said, smiling.

“Em, if you want to leave, you can at any time, you aren’t my prisoner. We have been through enough. Are you thinking of leaving permanently?”

“I don’t know yet. It has crossed my mind, Cleo, but Portland is close, and so is Quebec. I can do something in either place, I guess. I don’t mind the travel.” Cleo was quiet.

“Whoever he is must really be something to make the great Emma Swan take pause in her personal life. I have a contact in Portland. I’m emailing you his information and making an introduction for you.”

“Cleo…” Emma started to protest.

“Kid, let me do this, ok? I can at least make an introduction.”

“Thanks. It isn’t set in stone,” Emma said nervously.

“I know. Just having options is never a bad thing, ok? Don’t miss the moments. You missed out on enough as a kid. The moments matter, Em.”

“Ok. I'll work on these transfers and get them to you by Monday.”

“OK, call me Monday to check in,” Cleo said and hung up.

Sure enough Cleo’s email came through and CC’d her on an intro letter to a guy named Michael Cox. Emma googled him and found that he owned a PI firm in Portland. She shrugged and headed to the shower.

Once she was dressed, and felt like herself she decided to grab Killian’s list and head to the grocery store. She saw Killian’s legs hanging out below a car. “Hey!” she called. He dropped something, and slid out.

“You scared me, Swan!” She laughed at his pique.

“I am heading to the store, can I take the truck?”

He shook his head. “Take mine.” He sat up and walked over to the key box, grabbing a keychain and handing it to her.

She looked outside. “You have a car?”

“Of course I have a car, Swan,” he laughed and shook his head.

He led her out into the lot. When she saw the GTO sitting there, her eyes widened. “This is your car?”

“Built her myself.” He smiled, sounding proud.

Emma ran her hands over the silver paint, “It's beautiful…” she crooned as he kissed her cheek.

“Just bring both of yourselves back without a scratch, please.” He turned and walked back into the shop.

She started it up. The engine was loud, and the inside smelled like Killian with a faint trace of smoke. God, it would be amazing to fuck him in this car, she thought, smiling to herself as she added that to the running list of places she wanted to jump Killian.

She let google direct her to the small market. She grabbed a cart and walked in. Some people looked at her curiously, she was an outsider here after all, but she let it roll off of her back. She looked at KIllian’s list, admiring his looping penmanship and smiled. He had made little notes next to all her food choices- frowning faces, or the word “ NO ” next to her items and she laughed.

She was looking at the list still, and crashed right into someone’s cart. She looked up to apologize, and was face to face with the sheriff. “Emma, hi,” he said calmly. She felt his eyes roam over her.

“Good morning, Sheriff.” He shook his head.

“Graham is fine, Emma. We drank together. I think that puts us on a less formal level now.”

She smiled. “Ok, well I am sorry I ran into your cart.”

He nodded. “Ruby sent you here for food?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Nope. Killian.”

She noticed that he bit back whatever he was about to say. “Well, I will leave you to it. See you later, Emma.” She just let it go. Whatever his problem was, it wasn't hers to worry about. She finished up and headed back, Killian stomping his cigarette out, rushing to help her carry everything up the stairs.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind. “I’m almost done with morning pickups,” he murmured and she smiled.

“I am going to finish up. Why don't you head down and I will make some lunch.” He kissed her cheek and headed back down, and she got to work preparing a salad with roasted chicken that she picked up. She had to laugh at herself. This was so out of her comfort zone, she had to keep reassuring herself that it was fine.

Killian wrapped up, pulling the cars into the lot, and locking the door with the lunch note on the glass. He headed up and Emma was sitting in the chair by the window reading a book. Her legs were tucked underneath her, and she looked up hearing the door shut and smiled at him.

“All done?” she asked.

He nodded, toeing his boots off. He walked into the kitchen to grab some water and looked around. “Did you make lunch?”

She nodded. “I put yours in the fridge.”

He opened the door, smiling. “You made salad for me?” he asked. “What did you have? A burger or something?”

She glared. “No, I had one too.” She smiled, looking pleased with herself.

He sat on the stool facing her as he tucked into his food. “Emma, I was kidding. Eat whatever you want. I saw your running gear, and I see you naked,” he raised a suggestive eyebrow at her, “a lot. I am definitely not judging you,”  he said, smirking at her.

She smiled at him. “I know, but a salad wont kill me once in a while. Plus I got all the stuff I like anyways.” He threw his head back and laughed. “I ran into Graham at the market,” she said casually, and he raised his eyebrows.

“And?” he questioned her, looking concerned.

“I accidentally ran into his cart while I was reading the list. I apologized and he was fine. Nice even.” She went back to her book.

“He wasn't a dick was he?” he asked. “You can tell me.” She shook her head, reassuring him.

Killian finished up, and rinsed his dishes. “Thanks for lunch,” he said and kissed her hair before he headed back down. “Hey, where is August at?” he asked as he tied his laces.

She picked up her phone and looked. “About three hours away.”

He nodded. “I will be done in a bit, maybe we could go back to the seafood place near the water.”

Emma smiled. “I think he would like that.”

Emma shot a text to Ruby letting her know where they were going and what time, but she didn't respond right away. Emma walked into their room and pulled out a skirt and a tank top she had gotten at the boutique. She couldn't wait to have her curling wand, and blow dryer. God she missed her electric toothbrush, her own makeup. There were so many things she had to thank August for tonight.

She heard the door buzz, and went to the front door. She headed down the steps to find Killian outside signing for some packages. She was surprised that there were so many. “These aren't all from Amazon, are they?” she asked and he shook his head.

“Some are parts- your car, a few others,” he explained and smiled at her. She grabbed a few and helped him carry them into the office while he set aside two from Amazon.

She took those upstairs, and decided she would let Killian open them. She wasn't comfortable opening his mail or packages, so she left them on the counter. Ruby texted her back telling Emma she would meet them at the loft before dinner. Emma responded before checking August’s location again. He still had a little bit to go, so she went back to the chair with her book and waited.

August called to let her know that he had arrived, so Emma was walking down the stairs to greet him.

He stepped out of his little Porsche and smiled, opening his arms wide to her. Emma ran and jumped on him, he swung her in a circle setting her down. “You look great Em” he said, as Killian made his way outside. “And you must be Killian,” August said, extending his hand, and Killian nodded while taking it.

“Welcome to Storybrooke” Killian said and August smiled. He looked over at Emma who was watching their interaction. “I am starving, so you better have dinner plans” August said to both of them, and Killian nodded.

“Come on up, I need to jump in the shower. Here, let me get those out for you” Killian said, leaning into August's car to grab some of Emma's boxes. “I can do that Killian, go shower” she said to him, and Killian nodded letting her take them.

“You must have forgotten to mention he is like sex on a yummy stick” August teased her, and she glared at him. “So? Any warning bells going off in that thick skull of yours?” she asked him as they headed into the loft. August looked around, “Nope. Not yet, doesn't seem like the type to strangle you in your sleep.” Emma rolled her eyes.

Her phone vibrated, “That's Ruby, she is coming to dinner with us” and set it down on the table. August looked at her, “you have a friend?” he said laughing. “Shut up, she is nice and meddles- kind of like you. I didn't really have the option to not be her friend” she said smiling. August laughed and carried her box towards the bedroom, the bathroom door shut.

“Just set them in the closet, and he nodded, opening the door and Emma hugged him again. “Thank you for coming.” August squeezed her back, and smiled. “Of course Em, plus I needed to see this mystery man for myself, and I am not disappointed… I would be thinking too” he said with a smirk.

Emma smiled at her friend, “Do you need a shower?” and August shook his head. “I used yours. After I ate the rest of your food” he laughed, and headed back down the hallway.

Emma heard the shower shut off, so she shut the bedroom door behind her to follow August. He was glancing through Killian's bookshelves, reading the titles. “He likes the classics, interesting. No murder mysteries though, that's promising” he mused, and she rolled her eyes as he laughed at her.

“I see where Emma gets her morbid sense of humor,” Killian said, smiling at them as he walked in the room dressed but barefoot. “It’s all his fault!” Emma joked and pointed to August, heading down the hall to change and leave them alone.

Killian was nervous, and August could tell. “I'm not here to interrogate you Killian, don't look like I am going to bury you out back” he laughed and Killian blushed. “You two really are jaded people aren't you?” Killian commented, and August rolled his eyes the same exact way that Emma did. “I don't see you being a serial killer, or out to hurt her. I think your choice in hobbies is interesting, but overall I don't have a bad impression of you, or from what I looked up about you.”

Killian’s mouth dropped open in shock. “You did a background check on me?” and August smirked. “Of course I did, don't act so surprised. You have your own money, and that is your business, I hardly scraped the surface out of respect for Emma. But I wanted to know a little more about you, no offense.”

Killian rubbed his hand over his face, “You need a hobby just as much as she does, both of you need some kind of YouTube channel that shows nothing but children's cartoons and sunshine.” August laughed, “I am always rooting for the coyote to catch the roadrunner” he said and Killian rolled his eyes “of course you root for the villain” he laughed shaking his head.

The buzzer rang out and Emma yelled “That's Ruby” and Killian walked down the steps to let her in. Ruby came in, high heels bordering on dangerous, clicking across the cement. “So, where is my new friend?” She said grinning. “Coming Ruby” and Emma and August descended the stairs.

“Hi” Ruby said, extending her hand to August, and he took it, shaking it lightly. “Are you ready?” Killian asked Emma and she nodded, leading everyone out to the lot. “You look stunning” he said in her ear and she kissed him softly. “Glad you like it” and August stood there looking amused.

Killian opened his car, letting the girls climb in back, and August sat shotgun. He drove to the little seaside restaurant, and they headed to the upstairs patio again. Ruby and August chatted away, hardly noticing Emma and Killian.

“What do you think of August?” she said in his ear. “I like him, aside from running a background on me, he is exactly what I expected” he said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Emma’s eyes widened, “You ran a BC on Killian!” August rolled his eyes, “You wouldn't have done the same if it were me?” She shut her mouth, knowing she would have. “You should have told me” she protested, and August waved her off. “I told you I wasn't concerned, that's as much as I needed to say.”

Emma glared at him, chewing over his words. That meant he found nothing wrong in Killian’s past, that her gut was right. Emma needed a drink, and thankfully their waitress showed up to take their orders.

Dinner went fine, Ruby bombarding both Emma and August with questions and their work. Killian just watched on, amused. He paid the bill, and they dropped Ruby off on the way. August helped Emma out of the backseat, and Killian said goodnight, giving them some privacy.

“Thank you” Emma said, wrapping her arms around August. “You look happy, I like it. It is a good look on you Em” and she smiled. “You want to grab breakfast, or are you leaving?” He smiled, “I think I will stick around another day before I head back” and Emma clapped excitedly.

“You wont get me to move here Em, and neither will Red” he said laughing, and kissed her hair. “Night” she waved as he headed toward his car, and headed towards Granny's.

@hookedmom​​​ @xsajx​​​ @kymbersmith-90​​​ @kmomof4​​​ @katie-dub​​​ @ohmightydevviepuu​​​ @lassluna​​​ @pirateherokillian​​​ @teamhook​​ @stahlop​​​ @elizabeethan​​​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​​ @therooksshiningknight​​​ @jennjenn615​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​ @killianswannn​​​ @stories-enchanted​​​ @eleveneitherway​​​ @girl-in-a-tiny-box​​​ @withheartfulloflove​​​ @kday426​​​ @lyssapup27​​​ @swanlovato​​​ @kaoslikesstuff @djlbg​​​ @kristi555​​​ @laschatzi​​​ @xarandomdreamx​​​ @lkles08​​​ @wyntereyez​​​ @bubblegum1425​​​ @xhookswenchx​​ @yasbio2015​​ @tiganasummertree​​ @winterbaby89​​​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​​ @hollyethecurious​​ @let-it-raines​​​ @jonesfandomfanatic​​ @searchingwardrobes​​ @dreamingdreamsalways​​ @oncechicagolove​​ @andiirivera​​ @vvbooklady1256​​ @gingerchangeling​​ @everything-person​​ @klynn-stormz​​ @qualitycoffeethings​​ @vampcoffeegyrl23​​ @enchanted-swans​​ @cassy1511 @ohmakemeahercules​​ @donteattheappleshook​​ @bluewildcatfanatic​​ @the-darkdragonfly​​ @demisexualemmaswan​​ @lavenderbudd​​ @grimmswan​​ @spartanguard​​ @flslp87​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​ @sarahpaq08 @thisonesatellite​​ @captainswan21​​ @zaharadessert​​ @mariakov81​​ @snowbellewells​​ @xouatxcs​​ @kiwistreetswan​​ @batana54​​ @nadine200179​​ @probalicious17​​ @courtorderedcake​​ @julesep3026​​ @jackieorioncat​​ @whatthehell102082​​ @xemmaloveskillianx​​ @jarienn972​​ @sthonour​​ @linda8084​​ @carpedzem​​ @pirateprincesslena​​ @daxx04​​ @winterbythesea​​ @artistic-writer​​ @scientificapricot​​ @cocohook38​​ @wisfan3000​​ @chrisilybrooke @pcrcabcth @captainswan4life85​​ @molly958​​ @kingofmyheart14​​ @badwolfreturns​​ @itsfridaysomewhere​​ @mcakers @chamomileandmint @fallingforthecaptain​​ @lovethelifeyoulive1106 @onceratheart18​​ @strangestarlighttree​​ @omgmarvelous​​ @justanother-unluckysoul

[momorabu]

Ensemble Stars! Event Story - Challenge! Tanabata Festival Wishes /  Tanabata Festival

Even though this was an old event story, I wanted to read and translate this after reading the Hikoboshi and Orihime event story, since both are related to the Tanabata Festival anyway~ And this event story focused on one of my favourite units - Ra*bits~! (Even though I like Akatsuki too ^^;)

This is probably still one of event outfits of Ra*bits that I really really like >/////<

Anyway as always, the summary of the story can be found below. Translation may not be 100% accurate due to my poor Japanese skills~

Prologue

One day, “I” was called to the staff room by Sagami Sensei, and he asked “me” to relax since he’s not here to lecture “me” actually. Sagami Sensei shook his head, remarking that he doesn’t understand what current youths were thinking about nowadays, and decided to go straight to the point on why he had called “me” here, asking “me” whether “I” would like to try planning for a dreamfes from scratch. He knew that “I’m” still a newbie since “I’ve” just transferred to this school from April, but from then, “I’ve” accumulating experiences and was now considered quite a reliable producer currently. This was why Sagami Sensei felt that it would be a good chance to let “me” be in charge of a huge task. Smiling to “me”, he informed “me” that being a producer isn’t just taking care of specific units, but consists of the job of planning and operating events as well. He remarked that perhaps planning an event would have a different interesting side as compared to taking care of idols, even though it would also mean that there would be trouble different than usual ^^; But since overall it would be a great experience for “me”, he felt that “I” should give it a try.

Sagami Sensei continued onto explaining about dreamfes. In the past, all the official events from SS to A1 were not left to the teachers to plan about it, and the operation of the events would be under the student council. But Sagami Sensei felt that it was boring to have this pattern of everytime, remarking that the students and public would get sick of it. Thinking that “I” would be able to accumulate experience from this, Sagami Sensei felt that getting “me” to plan would also help the teachers and student council to lessen the load, since they were still really busy during the summer vacation. 

Suddenly, we overheard a commotion happening between Akiyomi Sensei and Mitsuru. Akiyomi had yelled at Mitsuru to stop, but Mitsuru quickly escaped from the staff room by jumping out from the window, apologising and explaining that he had just remembered he had something he had to attend to. Sagami Sensei called out to Akiyomi Sensei, which pissed him even more since he doesn’t like the nickname “Akiyan”, and ordered Sagami Sensei to chase after Mitsuru and capture him. Sagami Sensei shook his head and said that it’s impossible for him to catch up to Mitsuru at his age (Poor Sagami Sensei is already getting old =w=“) 

Akiyomi sighed since he had no choice but to give up on chasing after Mitsuru for now, and advised Sagami Sensei to clean up his desk since his paperwork was even falling off from the desk. Sagami Sensei apologised and explained that since he’s used to staying at the sickbay instead, he’s not used to tidying his desk over here, but that gets rebutted by Akiyomi Sensei, telling him that his desk at the sickbay was messy too, as his own personal items were all over the desk. He requested Sagami Sensei to be tidier and be a good role model for the student. 

Akiyomi remarked that Mitsuru was really fast when it comes to escaping from him, and knowing that he’s really athletic, Akiyomi felt that he should be making use of his talent even more since he can’t help but to be strict about students when he sees them not releasing their full potential. Sagami Sensei suggested Akiyomi Sensei to drink some tea and calm down, telling him that since they’re both not young anymore, they shouldn’t be forcing themselves too much. Akiyomi rebutted that he’s not that old enough to be worried (so poor Sagami Sensei is the only one that’s old? XD), and asked him instead about the matter that he was discussing with “me” awhile ago. 

Seeing that “I” know nothing about organising an event, Akiyomi told “me” that it’s alright to rely on the teachers and even the student council to help “me”, since it would take awhile for “me” to get used to doing this. Firstly, what “I” should do was to start planning for the dreamfes, making sure of the details and that none of the traditions of Yumenosaki Gakuen was tainted in the process. Sagami Sensei didn’t agree with this process though, saying that he didn’t want “me” to be restricted since that might make the events seems like the past events again. 

Other than requesting “me” to accept the task of planning the next event, Akiyomi would also want “me” to pass a message from him to Mitsuru if “I” met him later on, since Mitsuru would always flee from Akiyomi everytime he met him. Turned out that Akiyomi Sensei wanted to discuss with Mitsuru about his future, and thus he wished that “I” could help to bring him to him.

Sunny But Rainy / 晴れのち雨: Chapter 1

Over at the balcony, Hajime and Tomoya were putting out the laundry. As it was a rainy season, they’ve accumulated quite a large amount of sheets and clothes to be washed. He remarked that Mitsuru still ran around even when it was rainy, and ended up with dirt on his clothes, but~ using his special cleaning lotion, Hajime managed to make them all white and sparkling clean again~ 

(Random scene of Tomoya mistaking of Hajime calling him by his surname “Mashiro” when Hajime meant “sparkling clean” when using the word “Mashiro”~ He was surprised that Hajime called him this way when usually he would refer to him as “Tomoya-kun”~ Hajime understood that feeling of misunderstanding since he always thought someone was talking about them when they say the word “to start” - “Hajime-masu”~)

Tomoya told Hajime that he’s too polite, yet Mitsuru was too impolite, so he wished that Hajime could pass some manners to Mitsuru so that they would balance out. But if that happens, Tomoya wondered whether there won’t be any use for him, since he was “normal” and always someone who seems to be in the middle of a range. Tomoya remarked that he would feel hurt being said that he’s normal, and continued to help Hajime to hang up the rest of the laundry. 

Hajime really enjoyed doing laundry and washing them, remarking that the weather was fine and sunny, and he could smell the scent of dirt that was drenched by the rain together with the fragrance of the detergent~ Tomoya remarked that he looks weird smelling and enjoying himself like this, and advised him not to do that in front of others. 

As they’ve been working part-time jobs all this while that requires their body strength, Tomoya felt tired from doing those and wished that they could do some idol related work as Ra*bits soon. Hajime apologised, feeling that it was bad of him to involve Tomoya to help him out in doing the part-time job at the school. Tomoya assured Hajime not to worry since they’re all comrades and asked him where are Mitsuru and Nazuna since they’ve all agreed that all the members would help to assist Hajime on his part-time job. Hajime smiled and answered Tomoya that Mitsuru was being called by Akiyomi Sensei to the staff room, and as for Nazuna.... he was actually struggling with the sheets a distance away from them XD

The scene cuts towards Nazuna who was struggling to get the sheets off him and as he could not see anything in front of him, he cried for someone to give him a hand. Hajime laughed upon seeing how Nazuna’s head was covered by the sheets and asked Tomoya to go over and help him together. Tomoya sighed and wondered why Nazuna had wanted to hang up the sheets when he’s tiny. 

At that moment, Kaoru was on the balcony too and complained that they’re too noisy that they had disturbed him from taking an afternoon nap. Nazuna could hear and identify Kaoru’s voice, and cried out to him to help him out since he could not move at all being covered by the sheets. Kaoru went over and took off the sheets from him easily, laughing at him and asking what on earth was he doing. 

(Finally Nazuna gets to breath fresh air again~! Though he hated to be called “tiny” by Kaoru ^^;)

Tomoya was shocked when he realised that Nazuna was acquainted with Kaoru, to which Nazuna explained that they’re in the same year together, and assured him that Kaoru isn’t a bad person even if he looks abit scary XD He asked Kaoru to give them a hand to hang up the laundry since he was taller than them and could help them to hang up the sheets which was a difficult task for the Ra*bits members given their height ^^; Kaoru showed a glum expression, complaining that he was now being forced to do labour work after they had disturbed him from his nap, wondering what crime had he committed to get such a “punishment" ^^: Nazuna told Kaoru that if they’ve finished their task quickly, they would leave the balcony and that would mean the balcony would be quiet again soon, so in a way, Kaoru would be helping himself to get some sleep faster. Kaoru replied that he could actually just move somewhere else to take a nap actually, and he felt that there’s no merit in helping Nazuna since even though the members of Ra*bits look cute to him, they were all guys. That made Nazuna mad as he lectured Kaoru that he should do some actions at times that were not related to girls at all, and threatened him that he’s going to tell everyone at school that Kaoru had actually tried to flirt with him when he just enrolled at school in the past, as Kaoru had mistakened Nazuna as a girl XD

In the end, Kaoru sighed and remarked that that one time was his mistake in his entire life, adding on that Nazuna’s looks had made him confused about his gender. Suddenly, he realised that someone was at the balcony too, and suggested that Nazuna could ask that person for help instead. He was glad when he realised that it was actually “me”, and asked “me” whether “I” was here to meet him. 

“I” explained that “I” was actually here to look for Mitsuru, and had thought that he might be here seeing that Ra*bits were doing their laundry here. But Nazuna replied that he isn’t here and asked Tomoya and Hajime whether they had known Mitsuru’s whereabouts. After knowing that “I” had last met Mitsuru at the staff room, Hajime and Tomoya wondered where he could have went. Tomoya guessed that Mitsuru might have forgotten that the Ra*bits members were doing their laundry on the balcony, so there’s a high possibility that he was running around the school looking for them. Nazuna decided that he shall use the broadcasting system to call for Mitsuru, but in exchange, he wished that “I” could help Hajime and Tomoya with the rest of the laundry. 

(And since “I’ve” decided to stay, of course Kaoru decided to be helpful and give them a hand as well~ ^^; He even boasted that he’s actually good at chores and even suggested that we look like a pair of husband and wife doing laundry together... Kaoru... you really thought too much XD)

Hajime was glad that “I’m” giving them a hand, and said that they would give “me” a hand too if “I” ever need their help in the future, even though Hajime felt that he may not be that reliable~

Sunny But Rainy / 晴れのち雨: Chapter 2 - 3

Later on, Souma and Adonis were jogging and racing each other on the school grounds. When they stopped to take a break, Souma remarked that he’s of no match to Adonis’ speed, and when he was already feeling tired, Adonis was still calm and doesn’t seem tired at all. Adonis encouraged Souma that he doesn’t have to feel ashamed about losing to him since the muscles that were being trained were different for sword skills and running, and that running was Adonis’ forte. Souma apologised for bothering Adonis for accompanying him in his training, as Souma had decided to do some training himself as it had been awhile for him to train his body since there hasn’t been much lessons for Akatsuki recently due to Keito being busy at the student council. He had felt bored just jogging by himself, and decided to ask Adonis to accompany him.

Seeing that Souma seems to be quite energetic, Adonis suggested that they did some stretching exercises to prevent themselves from getting muscle aches rather than sitting down. He was amazed by Souma’s special way of running, which Souma explained that this was a way of running in the ancient past, and knowing from Shinobu, it seems to be the way how ninja had run. He said that by moving the hands and legs in the same direction, one can hold down their fatigue and move fast, even suggesting Adonis to give it a try. Adonis decided to reject him, since he felt that if he was to change his way of running suddenly, he would get muscle aches easily.

Suddenly, Kaoru appeared, which pissed Souma off as he demanded that Kaoru should not even set a foot into such a place being a weakling. (Kaoru even joked that he’s wearing shoes, and added that if he doesn’t wear shoes his feet would get dirty =w=“) Anyway, he’s here to look for Adonis instead of Souma, referring to Adonis as “Otsugare-chan” instead of “Otogari”, which is Adonis’ surname. (Kaoru really has no interest in remembering guys’ names, even if they were in the same unit as him =w=“) Kaoru had actually accompanied “me” here, explaining that he’s here as “my” bodyguard since he could not let a girl come here by herself. (I wonder why though =w=“)

(Haha, I guess Kaoru means that it would be dangerous for “me” to come here by “myself”, but Souma dissed that Kaoru was the most dangerous and demanded that he gets away from “me” XD)

Knowing that “I” was here to look for him, Adonis guessed whether that had to do with Mitsuru, since he had just heard the broadcast looking for him a moment ago. Even though Mitsuru was in the same club as him, Adonis apologised and said that he had not seen Mitsuru today as there’s no club activities for today. This was also why he was able to take out time to accompany Souma in running just now.

Even though Souma knew that "I" was looking for Mitsuru because "I" was worried about him, he felt that this shouldn't be the time for "me" to leisurely walking around looking for people, since he had heard from Keito that "I've" been entrusted the task of planning and operating the next live event. Hearing that "I'll" be planning the next live event, Adonis remarked that it was a "producer-like" job and hope that "I'll" rely on him for anything that requires strength. Kaoru also asked "me" to approach him (this big brother~?) if "I" need any assistance, telling "me" that he would teach "me" anything. (I'll be wary of what Kaoru teaches though... =w=") 

Souma commented that it would need a few days to prepare for the live event, and that it would also be troublesome to handle the paperwork, but since he had been helping Keito at the student council frequently, he understood quite well how to proceed with the paperwork and thus told "me" that he would help "me" if "I" have anything "I" do not understand about the procedure. Adonis also offered to look for Mitsuru since he had some idea about some of Mitsuru's favourite places, and assured "me" that we would definitely be able to find him.

However, it started to rain suddenly even though it was very sunny awhile ago. Saying that their body would get a cold if they continued to stay outdoors, Souma suggested everyone get indoors. Kaoru remarked that the weather was unpredictable these days and felt pity for the Ra*bits members on the balcony since they have to take them now even though they've just hung them up awhile ago. He hoped that the weather would clear up during the Tanabata Festival, but he felt that the possibility of that happening was very slim, adding on that he had hoped to have a date and look at the milky way together. Adonis doesn't know what Tanabata is and approached to ask Souma about it, to which Souma explained that it was one of the festivals to be celebrated in the year, where people would decorate the bamboo shoots by writing down their wishes on the tanzaku and hang them up on the bamboo, even though there may be even more ancient ceremonies being held elsewhere. Kaoru helped to add on that on this day, Orihime and Hikoboshi would have a date on the milky way since it was only this day every year they could meet each other. (Souma doesn't like Kaoru explained it though, saying that it sounds wrong, while Kaoru felt that Souma was a person who doesn't live in the modern times. I do agree that saying that Orihime and Hikoboshi having a date on the milky way is abit... =w=")

Sunny But Rainy / 晴れのち雨: Chapter 3 - 4

Over at the student council room, Keito was confronting Eichi, demanding what he is up to, but Eichi just smiled and said that he would be glad to listen to his lecture after he was done with this paperwork. Keito snatched the papers over from Eichi, telling him that he would do it instead, and asked him not to force himself too much as he's still sick. Eichi was glad to be scolded by Keito, since that would mean that Keito was worried about him, and assured that he's not that weak to be tired just by doing paperwork. He knew that what Keito had wanted to confront him about was about letting "me" to take over in the planning and operating of the next event, to which Keito said that the student council could still handle it even if they're busy, since this was just "as per normal" for them.

Even though "I'm" a producer, Keito felt that "I" was still a newbie, and rather than helping and supporting "me" if anything were to happen, Keito felt that it would be better if the student council took over the planning and operation of the event instead. And since "I" was Trickstar's comrades, who had defeated the student council, Keito felt that "I" was their enemy. Eichi assured him that "I" do not belong to any units and had also helped to take care of Fine and Akatsuki before, and thus considered everyone's "producer". Since "I'm" currently the only producer in the school, Eichi felt that letting "me" to grow and unleash "my" potential would be useful for all of them as idols. He was very interested to see what "I" can come up with in the future, and said that this would be his investment in "me". (How come "I" have a bad feeling when Eichi said this... O.o)

Keito was actually relieved that "I'll" be able taking over the planning and operating of dreamfes, since it would help to lessen the load of the student council. But he was also worried that this might be the start of the student council's power to be falling apart, since all the past events were all planned and operated by the student council and was also a signal of their power. Eichi told Keito that the crack of their power had already started, since it started when they've been defeated at DDD. He thought that this might probably be the time to change the role of power since now there's members of the public (probably referring to Trickstar and the others) fighting against them as the student council. Eichi concluded that he had wanted to enjoy this chaotic period of time, but not as the "emperor", but as a fellow student in Yumenosaki Gakuen.  

Eichi knew that it was an important task to plan and operate a dreamfes, and probably wasn't something "I" could do all by myself at this point in time. Therefore, the student council, teachers, and everyone who likes "me" very much would be giving in their all to help "me". Keito had felt that rather than starting with an S1 event straight away, an A1 event might be more suitable for "me" from the start, or even a B1 would be better since it would not affect "me" even if it ends up being a failure. Eichi smiled and told Keito that a B1 level would not be approved by the student council and since an A1 event would be one that would normally have newbies in it, Eichi felt that "my" value would not be known by most of the students if "I" participated in there. Therefore, the best option would be an S1 event. He smiled and remarked that it would be a huge responsibility to make this event a success, since if it fails, "my" ratings and value would fall, and Keito realised that Eichi's real motive was actually that, saying that this was actually a trap he had laid out for "me". Eichi assured him that this was not the case since he had not thought of "me" as an enemy, and in fact really "loves" "me". (Yeah... right... =w=")  He would feel troubled if "I" had fallen, but he would still push "me" to "my" limits, and thus why he had given "me" such a difficult task of organising an S1 event, telling Keito that they would watch over "me" together and see "me" absorb as much experience as possible.

(Haha at Eichi remarking he seems like an evil queen bullying the princess, but corrected that he was not a "Queen" but an "Emperor" instead.)

Eichi said that he would be looking forward to the future, since "I've" assisted Trickstar to achieve victory at DDD, Eichi knew that "I" worthy enough to be of match against them, and wanted "me" to accompany him to "play along" before he gets bored. Keito could only sighed and remarked that Eichi was indeed a dangerous person who can be destructive, and said that even though Eichi could find joy in doing that, Keito himself felt troubled having to accompany him along. Eichi continued on that since "I'm" in the second year and they're in the third year, they would be the ones who would leave the school first and get onto their dream stage faster than the rest, and thus hoped to have a chance to be surprised before that happens. Keito sensed that Eichi's words seems to reveal that he doesn't have enough fun yet and warned him not to stay back for a year at school, since it might be dangerous for him not to have enough attendance rate since he had been going in and out of the hospital. Eichi smiled and assured Keito not to worry, telling him that unlike his "friend", he won't be staying back for a year since it would be embarrassing if that happens. Keito knew that Eichi was referring to Rei and said that they're just childhood "friends" who knew each other from a long time ago, and remarked that it seems like Rei would be graduating this upcoming year just like them.  

Suddenly, Souma barged into the room, yelling that he had brought “me” here, and had also begged Keito together with “me”, hoping that Keito would teach “me” on how to plan and organise a dreamfes. Seeing that “I” now was determined to take up this role, Keito warned “me” that there would no return afterwards, and asked “me” to take a seat instead since he and Eichi had already expected that “I” would be here. (Eichi is just smiling here and remarked that Keito has always been good at taking care of people since a long time ago~ ^^)

(Additional note that Souma and “me” actually got caught in a drizzle when we were on the way here, and “I’ve” helped to dry his hair with “my” handkerchief. It’s rare to see such a heartwarming moment between “me” and Souma +W+)

After sitting down to discuss, Eichi and Keito get to know that “I’ve” wanted to use the theme “Tanabata” for the next dreamfes. Eichi smiled and remarked that it’s very suitable since Tanabata would be coming soon, while Keito said that there might be some reference on the dreamfes in the past which are “Tanabata” theme that he could search for, since rather than thinking up of everything from scratch, he felt that it’s easier and faster to reference from past materials and make amendments from there. Eichi hoped that the dreamfes would be one that’s extravagant and beautiful like the milky way, with the clouds being blown away by then and the idols shining like little stars~

Wish Upon The Star / 星に願いを: Chapter 1

A few days later, “I” was called to the dojo by Kuro, and he volunteered to help with creating the outfits for the Tanabata Festival that was organised by “me”. He had already made the outfits based on the design drafts, but felt that it would be better if “I” look at the outfits personally, even if “I’ve” gave “my” okay on his design. Kuro had made the outfits really bright since the weather might be bad on that day, and the event would be held at night, so the audience would be able to see the idols better this way. (He had also made the clothes waterproof, so there won’t be any problems even if they get wet ^^;)

As there would be multiple units performing on that event, Kuro had felt that the audience would find it hard to differentiate the units if they were all the same type of outfits, and had wanted to create two different style of outfits - based on “Hikoboshi” and “Orihime”. He smiled and remarked that the “Orihime” type of outfits would be suitable for Ra*bits, who were going for the cute style. As Kuro isn’t good at designing clothes in cute style, he was thankful that “I’ve” came to help him to design the clothes, and told “me” that everyone was looking forward to this event, including him.

Kuro told “me” that “I” could always rely on him to make more outfits, and said that rather than “me” thanking him for making them, he felt thankful for being relied on to make them instead. (Aww~ This CG of Kuro blushing while saying that is adorable ^////^) He felt inspired while making clothes, saying that ideas just keeping coming up in his brain and he can’t stop them. 

Suddenly, Kuro noticed that “I” had a dark expression and asked “me” whether “I’m” worried whether the event would be a success, or perhaps “I” was tired from running around all day preparing for the event. He patted “my” head”, comforting “me” that it would be alright and said that he knew that it would be hard but things would be easier in the future when “I” organised similar events again, and that if “I” really felt terrible emotionally, he would always be there for “me”. (Wow... such manly words from Kuro O////O)

In the meantime, “I’ve” already finished with “my” outfit design, and Kuro asked to take a look, promising “me” that he won’t laugh when he noticed that “I” felt shy about showing him “my” design. He remarked that the design was adorable and that he would definitely not be able to think up of such a design. In fact, Kuro felt that the design was too girly that he wondered whether the guys would want to wear this outfit (but he knew that his sister would definitely be glad to wear this ^^;), but decided that he shall try making an outfit based on this design first. Kuro told “me” that he would call for “me” again when he had finished making this outfit, and asked “me” to bring someone from Ra*bits to come along to try it on, since Kuro felt that they would be very suitable. 

(I like this part of the conversation where “I” could actually helped to try on the outfit, but Kuro felt that the body size and body frame of a male and female would be different. Also he felt that he was too large to fit into the outfit and knew that he’s not suitable in adorable outfits. ^^; Now I suddenly want to see Kuro in a cute outfit OWO”)

Suddenly, Kuro noticed that it was noisy outside the dojo, and wondered whether it was Tetora who had came back from his jogging. (I felt sad for Tetora when Kuro said that he knew that Tetora was clumsy, and thus asked him to stay away when Kuro is making clothes Orz) It was actually Tomoya and Mitsuru, and they’ve even ran into the dojo without greetings nor taking off their shoes, which pissed Kuro off as he thought of them being very impolite. 

(No Mitsuru, you’re not a superstar yet and Tomoya is not chasing after you because of your overflowing charisma ^^;)

Tomoya immediately apologised and blamed Mitsuru for causing both of them being reprimanded by Kuro, but Mitsuru rebutted that he had run away because Tomoya had chased after him. Tomoya noticed that “I” was here and informed “me” that Nazuna was looking for “me”, as he had wanted to discuss the sound system and what songs to be used for the Tanabata Festival. Kuro urged “me” to go ahead as he would focus on making the outfits instead. While Mitsuru was planning to run away from Tomoya, he got caught by Kuro instead, who reprimanded him once again not to run in the dojo, and also told him that if he’s a man, he shouldn’t be running away. (It’s cute that Mitsuru just lost all his strength to escape when Kuro held him down by his neck and made him unable to move ^^;) 

Tomoya sighed and told Mitsuru that everyone was actually worried for him since they’ve all noticed that Mitsuru was behaving weirdly recently. But Mitsuru just shook his head and said that this matter had nothing to do with Tomoya and asked them to let him go instead. Tomoya knew that he can’t just let the matter rest even though Mitsuru affirmed that this was his own problem since he had seen them as friends and comrades in Ra*bits together. He wished that Mitsuru would rely on them when he’s troubled, even though Tomoya knew that they might not be able to help him much other than lending him a listening ear. He suddenly felt impressed that “I” was so relied on by the others and was also tasked with such important jobs, wondering that rather than people relying on “me” because “I’m” a producer, it’s more like “I’m” being well-liked by everybody. Even though Tomoya had thought that “I” was normal just like him when he first met “me” in April, he realised that “I’ve” become an impressive person in just a few months, and wondered how am “I” different from him. He was envious of “me” and even respects “me” more than before.

But... what’s important for Tomoya now was to solve the problem that’s in front of him, which is the matter of Mitsuru’s trouble. 

Wish Upon The Star / 星に願いを: Chapter 2

In the evening, Kuro helped to carry Mitsuru on the piggyback while walking back with us, which Mitsuru was glad about, saying that he could see far away being so high up. Tomoya apologised and thanked Kuro for helping to grab hold of Mitsuru and even carrying him to their destination, to which Kuro replied that it was nothing, and he was coming along since he was being called by Keito to help out with some tasks that require his strength. As Kuro had been sitting and sewing the entire day, he felt that this was a good chance for him to exercise and to change his mood a little.

(Yes Mitsuru, even though Kuro looks scary, he’s actually a very kind-hearted person~ Mitsuru noticed that Kuro was careful not to walk in a wobbly pace so that Mitsuru would not shake and fall.)

Kuro sighed and told Mitsuru that he’s really behaving just like a child even though he’s already a high school student, even though he felt that it was a good thing to be cuddled to by him. Tomoya smiled and remarked that it seems like they’re a family, with Kuro being the father and “me” being the mother. Kuro felt that he was old being called as a father, and also thought that this would be troubling for “me”, since he felt that “I” would hate to be called as husband and wife with him. Kuro felt weird that the Ra*bits were not afraid of him since Kuro was part of Akatsuki, which had defeated them terribly in the dreamfes in the past, and had even thought that it was normal if they’re mad at him because of that.

Tomoya remembered such an incident had did happened before even though he had forgotten about it till now. At that time, the audience had all returned after watching Akatsuki’s performance (please refer to the main story), and no one had even cared about Ra*bits even though they’ve given their all in dancing and singing. Hajime had cried terribly at that time, and Tomoya had felt regret, but because of that incident, Ra*bits had vowed to work even harder to fulfill their dreams, and thus even Tomoya felt that they should thank Kuro, he doesn’t want to (since it’s true that Akatsuki was mean to them back then), and asked Kuro not to mind anymore. Mitsuru joined in too and said that rather than they should not be stalling in their position and should move forward instead, and warned Kuro that Ra*bits had been growing well ever since then. Kuro smiled and said that it would be good if they could have a challenge against each other in the future.

Keito was confused when he saw Kuro carrying Mitsuru on his back when we’ve arrived at the event venue that was still in the middle of constructing. Kuro bided goodbye to us, informing us that he had been called over to help Keito in the stage construction. Tomoya asked Mitsuru to get off from Kuro and to stop escaping from us since even Tomoya found it troublesome to have to capture Mitsuru again. Mitsuru felt disappointed not getting anymore piggyback and requested “me” to carry him instead, jumping off from Kuro’s back which ended up giving Tomoya a shock. Tomoya said that “I” won’t be able to give Mitsuru a piggyback since “I’m” a girl after all, and lectured Mitsuru not to fly onto “me” as that might hurt “my” neck. Even though “I” assured Tomoya that “I’ll” be alright, Tomoya worried that “I’m” pushing “myself” trying to carry Mitsuru, and offered to carry Mitsuru on his back instead, saying that he’s a guy after all and is stronger than “me”. (Tomoya may be trying to show off his manliness here yet Mitsuru is just cheering him on while telling him not to shake too much XD)

As we were about to “me”, Keito called “me” and requested “me” to check up on the stage since “I’m” here and they’ve completed the stage earlier than expected. (Though from the background it doesn’t look completed though =w=“) Mitsuru complimented that it looks cool since it has a sci-fi look to it, while Keito was worried about the weather, even though “I’ve” already designed half of the stage to have a shelter in case it did rain on the event day itself. He also planned for the audience seats to have tents over them, but their first priority now was to finish the stage and make sure it’s alright, since it would be dangerous if the idols slipped and fall because of the rain making the floor slippery. 

Kuro noticed that Keito was helping to paint the stage, and knowing that he’s quite artistic as he could draw very well as well, Kuro suggested him to take up sewing, so that he can make clothes together with him. But Keito simply shook his head and replied that he has no interest to join Kuro together in his hobby. Initially Keito had planned to get a 3rd party organizer to set up the stage, but “I” wanted the students to set up the stage by themselves, so Keito really welcome the additional help from Kuro, and was glad that they get to lower their expenses in preparing for the event. Kuro smiled when he realised that “I” had felt that one should build up their own stage, and said that this really allows one to feel immerse in participating in a dreamfes, adding on that this would a great experience for him to build everything up from scratch. (Kind of cute that Keito added on that it’s not like it’s not fun to draw penguins XD He sounds like a tsundere here XD) 

Even Kuro noticed that Keito seems livelier than ever preparing for the event, though he worried whether it’s alright that Akatsuki did not practise in dancing and singing. Keito replied that there’s no need or in his case, they did not have the additional time and effort to be practising, as there’s alot of matters he had to attend to in preparing for the event even though he had thought that his job would get easier when he left the task of planning and organising the event to “me”. (So... did I just make Keito’s work even harder =w=“)

Suddenly, Souma who had been helping from earlier on appeared and asked Keito what he should do now that he had finished cutting the wood. Keito answered that Kuro and Souma could both try to build the stage up with the wood, while Kuro suggested them to decide what they should perform at the event now that all the members of Akatsuki were here. Keito remembered that actually, they had no decide whether they would be performing at the Tanabata Festival, to which Kuro said firmly that of course, they would perform since they’ve busy preparing the stage and outfits for this event. Souma agreed with Kuro, saying that because this event was organised by “me”, alot of units have gathered and would be performing at the event, including Trickstar, UNDEAD and even Knights who usually don’t meddle in such additional matters. Since so many powerful units had become active at this time, Souma felt that it would be too late if they do not perform and make their stand on stage. 

Knowing that the rest of the members’ desire to perform, Keito felt that it would be good if they joined in at the event too, just to prove to the others that the school council’s unit was still very powerful. Souma started to get excited, saying that Tanabata really suits Akatsuki since it’s related to ancient arts and legends. He suggested to research about the customs and performance about Tanabata, since his home has a library dedicated to such materials. Kuro smiled and said that he would be looking forward to it, and hoped that the weather would be fine on that day, even wanting to write a tanzaku wishing for that.

Wish Upon The Star / 星に願いを: Chapter 3 - 4

In the meantime, Nazuna and Hajime were practising in the practice room, with Nazuna teaching Hajime how to dance but the dance steps were too difficult for Hajime as he tripped and fell onto the floor. He apologised for being clumsy, but Nazuna encouraged him, telling Hajime that he was dancing way better as compared to the past, and said that Hajime was really bad at the dancing when they’ve met each other initially. Hajime apologised for causing such trouble as he’s bad at dancing even though he’s good at singing, but he hoped that with practices, he could become someone who could do anything he wants to easily. Nazuna smiled and told Hajime that he would support him since he knew that Hajime was someone who would work hard. (Aww~ Look at the Ra*bits love here ^////^)

Hajime told Nazuna that he really respects him very much since Nazuna was good at both singing and dancing, and was really like a rabbit. He mimicked the actions of a rabbit, which Nazuna remarked that it was cute and even wanted to use the action in their interactions with the audience. Even though Ra*bits had already finished their new song to be used in the Tanabata Festival, they also prepared other performances and songs to be performed at the event.

Hajime remarked that he had focused on doing part-time jobs at the school too much to the point that he had almost forgot the fact that he was an idol too, and since it’s been a long time they're performing live, Hajime was really excited and wanted to do a good job at it. However, he doesn’t understand why they had to prepare different type of performances, as he felt that it would be bad if they had to remember alot of things and they might end up forgetting some of them when performing. Hajime had thought that the Tanabata Festival this time was like a tournament just like the DDD, and wondered whether they would end up retiring early from the stage just like that time. Nazuna remarked that actually they were lucky to remain until the latter stage during DDD, and told Hajime that they should have more confidence in themselves and should aim for a victory instead rather than thinking about whether they would lose. Hajime apologised and confessed that he too wished that they could perform a bit longer on stage. 

Nazuna assured Hajime that this Tanabata Festival was organised by “me” and would be different than the usual dreamfes. Even though there would only be one stage, there can be two units performing on stage at the same time, and they would have a live battle with each other. The winner gets to stay on stage and continues to perform, while the losing unit will have to get off the stage. So as long as they win, they would be able to continue to perform. However, the losing unit still gets to get onto the stage again after a period of time. “I” had felt that it would be too cruel if the losing unit doesn’t get to perform anymore after they had lost, so this was a dreamfes that was really “kind and gentle” to the idols thought by “me”. 

Nazuna had felt that actually this type of dreamfes was also considered cruel to the winners, since they had to keep performing as long as they keep winning. They would lose their strength the longer they performed, and the audience would get sick of their performance if they keep singing and dancing the same song, therefore this was why Nazuna had wanted Ra*bits to practise and perform a variety of performance for the event.

As Ra*bits was just created recently, they didn’t have many songs to perform, and thus, in order to grab the attention of the audience, they would need to try to perform different types of performances. Nazuna smiled and told Hajime that since “I’ve” been working very hard to organise the Tanabata Festival to make it a success, they as idols should give in their all for the event too as repayment for “me”. He wondered where Mitsuru had been since Tomoya had gone to look for him and they were late for the practice, sighing and thinking whether Mitsuru had forgotten that they had practice lessons over at the dance room. 

Even Hajime started to worry for Mitsuru, since Mitsuru had been running away recently and hasn’t been participating in practices much... (That indeed sounds bad and worrying D:) He felt that Mitsuru was someone who was very talented and not weak like them, and wondered whether Mitsuru had disliked being their comrades in this small and weak unit. Nazuna frowned and told Hajime that he should not say that since they’re not weak and they would be improving and going higher. As much as Mitsuru seems like someone who doesn’t think much, Nazuna knew that he had been thinking about something recently, and thus wanted Tomoya to catch him and bring him here, so that everyone could come clean with each other, adding on that they’re comrades who’s connected by heart.

  While they were waiting for the remaining two members, Nazuna asked Hajime to take a break and practice fanservice like signing and shaking hands instead, since it would be better to continue their practice in singing and dancing when everyone is here. Hajime was surprised that they had to practise fanservice, even though he had noticed that they had been gaining fans gradually recently. Nazuna informed Hajime that there seems to be a special rule for this Tanabata Festival, where the audience could write down their wishes on the Tanzaku, and unlike usual dreamfes which the number of glowsticks would determined the points of each unit, the number of Tanzaku would be calculated instead. The audience will still continue to wave their glowsticks during the performance of the unit they like together with the Tanzaku, and the idols would help to fulfill the wishes written on the Tanzaku. Even though the idols won’t be able to fulfill all of the wishes on the Tanzaku, especially those that had wishes that are not doable by them, the winning unit of the live battle will get a chance to select one of the lucky audience to fulfill their wish on the Tanzaku, which can be simple fanservice acts like shaking hands, calling their names, or giving them a signature. This was why Nazuna had wanted them to practice fanservice. 

Hajime thought that this was a great idea and remarked that “I” really understand the audience’s point of view very well since just a few months ago, “I” was a normal person just like them too. He smiled as he thought that the audience would be glad to have their wishes granted by the idols, and he wanted to grant lots of wishes of on that day. But in order to do that, they would have to win the live battle, and to win, they would have to perform a great performance. 

Finally, Tomoya was back, and he had brought Mitsuru together with him. Mitsuru was sad about being unable to escape anymore, with both Tomoya and “me” grabbing him by his arm on his left and right. Nazuna told Mitsuru that they had noticed that he seems to be feeling ennui recently, and wanted him to talk to them about his feelings since everyone was worried about him. He felt that Mitsuru doesn’t suits being all moody and sad, and wanted him to smile brightly again. Mitsuru finally decided to reveal his troubles, and explained that he didn’t want to trouble anyone in Ra*bits about it initially since he had felt that his troubles had nothing to do with them, and he didn’t want to pull them back when the unit was just starting to do so well to becoming a great unit.

Tomoya told Mitsuru that he shouldn’t be so polite and reserved when he’s just a mere “Mitsuru” (hahaha XD) when usually he was always going about on his own pace and doesn’t reflect about causing troubles to others (Tomoya... you’re just taking this chance to diss Mitsuru right? =w=“) Mitsuru rebutted that this was the first time he had felt this way and admitted that he felt lost and didn’t know what he should do. Nazuna patted Mitsuru on the head and told Tomoya not to blame Mitsuru too much and towards Mitsuru, Nazuna felt that he’s being too reserved from them, since they’re all together in this and were still the “egg” of the idols now, so all the more they should stick together and support one another to breed themselves into great idols. Even though Nazuna doesn’t have any idea about what Mitsuru was troubling about, he assured him that everything would be alright, and that “Big Brother” (Ni-chan~) would protect him from anything. (I’m so touched, Ni-chan~ T////T)

Mitsuru was touched and started crying out loud, apologising to everyone. He confessed that he had thought wrong, and wanted to be with Ra*bits since everyone was warm and kind to him, and he really likes everyone~ (Aww~ T////T) Everyone was shocked and wondered what’s going on, with Hajime guessing that Mitsuru might be transferring elsewhere from his words and getting worried on what they should do. Realising that “I” seems to know what was going on with Mitsuru, Nazuna requested “me” to explain since Mitsuru was someone who was bad at explaining. 

This was then the guys get to know that because Mitsuru had gotten a great time record at the recent track and field tournament and he was being advised by a professional that he should focus on being a professional at running rather than being an idol instead since he hasn’t been performing well as one. But being an Olympic runner isn’t Mitsuru’s dream, even though he was glad to be praised and getting a record for his running. He confessed that he still wants to be an idol and wanted to perform and do idol activities together with everyone in Ra*bits. He knew that no matter how fast he could run, he’s unable to catch up to a car, but if he became an idol and sing, his singing could be spread around the world in just an instant in the speed of light. This was why he had wanted to become an idol and enrolled into Yumenosaki Gakuen, even though he personally enjoys running too.

Mitsuru was confused on what he should do since he’s bad at thinking. He was feeling depressed because of this matter and had wanted to shake away this feeling by running around. (After knowing about Mitsuru’s feelings, I just want to hug and pat him, aww~ It’s been hard on you Mitsuru~)

Tomoya realised that this was quite a troubling matter faced by someone who was not “normal” since Mitsuru was someone who was very talented. He knew that this matter concerns Mitsuru’s life and he shouldn’t be saying anything about it, but Tomoya can’t help but express envy to Mitsuru’s trouble, since he’s given different paths he could choose in life, and Tomoya knew that Mitsuru would definitely do well in whichever path he chose in the end. 

However, Mitsuru was still glum and told Tomoya that he would be glad if Tomoya could replace him in this position. Even though he felt Tomoya was being kind of mean in his words, Mitsuru knew that he was right since this was Mitsuru’s life and only he could the only one to choose which path he would want to walk on in his life. He had thought that he could only run in his life, but now that he sees that he still have the Ra*bits members by his side so he could still choose to stay with them. Nazuna sighed and told Mitsuru that this matter isn’t something that he would get a decision easily even if he was anxious about it, so it’s best if he thought through it slowly, since they’re all still in their first year now after all, and they could afford the moratorium in their decisions. If Mitsuru was still unclear in which path he should choose later on in his life, Nazuna wished that he would rely on them, and told “me” too that “I” could rely on them too and “I’m” not alone.

Nazuna wished that Mitsuru would not run away from them again like he’s abandoning them and everything, and Hajime added on that even if they might walk on different paths in the future, they’re still together now. He remarked that Hikoboshi and Orihime were still in love even if they could see each other once a year and said that Ra*bits have the same bond as them too.

Epilogue

Finally, it was the day of the Tanabata Festival, and Wataru was welcoming the audience on his balloon flying above the event venue. Keito noticed that and wondered what Wataru was doing, since he was talking a loud voice and thought that Wataru’s presence had made the scenery weird when the sky was a beautiful with fine weather and a milky way. He felt that Wataru was a disgrace to the school and even wanted someone to bring him his bow and arrow so that he could shoot Wataru down XD

(Yes, I guess that balloon is definitely Wataru’s personal belonging~)

Souma informed Keito that Wataru was scattering a large amount of Tanzaku from his balloon, and thought that rather than flying over the venue for no purposes, Wataru was helping to give out the Tanzaku required for the event. However, Keito felt that there was still no need for the balloon to be flying in the sky since they could easily give out the Tanzaku by hand instead, and wondered why Eichi had wanted Wataru by his side since just looking at Wataru was enough to give Keito a headache. (Keito is really bad at dealing with Wataru, these two just don’t get along that well together huh ^^;)

Kuro was worried about Keito if he’s already getting a headache now, as they have a long night ahead of them as if they kept winning at the Tanabata Festival, they would have to keep performing. Keito was confident as he said that they won’t be giving up their spot on stage to others and would defeat any challengers that comes their way with their performance, showing them how is it like being a “real” idol and how a “real” live should look like. 

Nazuna overheard him and remarked that he’s being too overconfident and reminded him that Akatsuki aren’t the only ones who were idols in this school and thought it would be interesting to see alot of units participating in this event. “I” had planned this event in a way that everyone would get excited about it and hoped that the performance stages would make the audience smile. Keito was surprised that Ra*bits would be the one who would challenge against them, while Nazuna told Keito that they won’t be letting them win that easily since they’re different from how they were before and were improving everyday, adding on that they would be returning the shame that they had felt in their last live battle back to Akatsuki. However, Keito smirked instead and rebutted that he doesn’t even remember that Akatsuki had battled against Ra*bits in the past, though he would be looking forward to Nazuna’s performance. (I can feel the heat between these two OWO”)

Tomoya and Hajime were watching their interaction from afar and realised that Keito actually has viewed Nazuna quite highly, to which Hajime added that Nazuna was someone who made it to his third year when most of the students had lost their dreams in this school at that period of time. He guessed that compared to them, Nazuna had probably used all of time to accumulate lots of experience in order to achieve the praises and skills he had now, and felt that it was an honour to be found by Nazuna and raised well by him, as he’s dedicating his time to take care of them. Therefore, Hajime felt that they need to work hard in order not to pull Nazuna behind with them, so as to pay their gratitude to him.

As they were the first to go on stage, Hajime started to get nervous since the audience would be putting all of their attention on them. He wondered if everything would be alright even though they’ve practiced alot, and added that his body was trembling with nervousness. Tomoya told Hajime to get a hold of him since they’re already on stage and the audience could see them clearly. What they could only do now was to do their best.

Wataru had heard Tomoya on stage and agreed with what he had said, praising that he had grown well and that he would continue to look over him lovingly. However, Tomoya told Wataru that he’s noisy and a hentai mask, and even requested him not to talk to him since he didn’t want anyone to know that Wataru was his acquaintances. (Ouch D:)

Mitsuru urged them to stop talking and start with the performance since the audience might get bored with waiting, and Mitsuru himself can’t wait to get started. Even though he knew that Akatsuki was a unit more powerful than them and was higher than them in terms of position, Mitsuru would continue to challenge against them even after a hundred rounds, even if they may not be able to win against them initially. 

Kuro remarked that the Ra*bits members were really energetic and that was a good thing for them. He had not expected that he would be challenging them again so soon, though he definitely won’t go easy on them this time either. 

Keito had felt that “I” had did a good job in organising the event this time, and would rely on “me” again for future events. But first, he would repay his gratitude to “me” by performing well at the Tanabata Festival. The story ended with Souma telling his comrades in Akatsuki to dance together with his rivals - Ra*bits~

And that’s it for this story~! As a Ra*bits fans I really enjoyed it since everyone had a bit of their limelight in the story, though I wished Tomoya had a bit more parts in it since he’s a 5* card after all in this event. (But I know the main character was Mitsuru after all~)

Akatsuki’s role in this story was lesser than Ra*bits, but it’s quite interesting to see their interactions with Ra*bits since I hardly read stories that had two units interact with each other~

Now for the event results~ Hitting 2M points is really my limit in revival events now ><”

I managed to get everyone’s card except Souma. Getting cards from ranking rewards is really difficult ><” But overall, I’m glad to get every one of Ra*bits’ cards~! +W+ How I wish Ensemble Stars have events like this where we can get more than 4 4*/5* cards again~ XDD

Nazuna’s and Hajime’s bloomed cards are so adorable~! Too bad those didn’t have full CGs in the event stories T////T

PS: Just want to say this Adonis looks really good, too bad he doesn’t appear much in the event story~~ TWT

[ellanainthetardis]

I was reading ch579 and I have a prompt! Haymitch is concerned about Peeta and Katniss so he does asks Effie for condoms and then she's all mad because why on Earth would he wants condoms for? (after MJ maybe?). She can go all the way to twelve to give the condoms to him too if you want to

There seems to be a problem with formating on mobile? I saw some of the words were stuck together… It is fine on desktop though so maybe check the ff link? [x]

Maybe One Day Hypothetically

Haymitch turned the page of his book, trying toignore the unusual agitation outside his house. The wedding dresses photoshoot– or whatever the Capitol was calling it – was in full swing over at Katniss’and there were a lot of staff crew members moving portable spotlights andwhat-nots, calling out to each other, laughing the mocking giggles Capitolslaughed or simply exploring the Village. He could hear them streets away.

He had made a conscious choice not to show up for it, unwilling to beroped into helping – and he would beroped into helping or, worse, into posing with the bride to be or somethingbecause that was how showbiz worked. Cinna would find him when he was ready ifthere was anything new to discuss.

He kept on reading, regularly bringing the cupof spiked herbal tea to his lips, and listening to the softer less aggravatingsounds of things being moved around in the house.

He might not have been sure about hiringHazelle, at first, but he was very sold now. Living in a clean house, havingclean laundry every day and not having to navigate around the health hazardsthat had been his kitchen and his bathrooms was a novelty he had gotten used tovery fast.

It was a bit awkward still, because they usedto be friends and now she was his housekeeper – hell, no, it was plain awkwardbecause they used to be friends and he had cut her off overnight like he hadcut everybody else off – but they were slowly finding their footing back. Hehad always liked Hazelle, she was steadfast, no-nonsense but she had a goodsense of humor.

“I’m done for today.” she declared, latemorning, walking in the living-room already wrapping her new red scarf aroundher neck. He had bought her the scarf as a gift – there had been a lot ofarguing on her part before she had accepted it but, as Haymitch had pointedout, she deserved a bonus for having unclogged his toilets. Saying he hadn’tbeen embarrassed by the state of the bathrooms was a stretch. She kept ontalking, snatching the empty mug he had placed on the floor next to hisarmchair to relocate it on the coffee table. “This goes in the sink when you’redone.” she ordered. He gave her a mock salute. “I’ve left you some soup fromSae’s on the stove for lunch. Don’t get excited, it’s rats.”

“My favorite.” he deadpanned, earning himself aquick amused smile.

It was a short one though. With the Hobdestroyed Sae was barely keeping her head above water. She kept on cooking whatshe could find at her own shack and people kept on trading her for a bowl ofsoup but times were hard.

“The laundry machine is almost done.” shecontinued. “It’d be great if youcould remember to put it in the dryer. And maybe put it away but I’m notholding my breath on that. Don’t leave it in the laundry machine, that will beenough to make me happy.”

“You’re cheap.” he accused.

“There’s also some warm bread on the counterand cheese buns in the fridge.” she added. “And I got you your liquor. It’s inthe cupboard.”

He had been running very low on his stock andtrafficking liquor with the new Peacekeepers around watching everyone was dangerous.He hated asking Hazelle to smuggle it in but his moves were more likely than not scrutinized.

He was also more likely to eat the bread andthe buns – that probably came from Peeta – than the soup he had only asked herto buy so Sae would have some cash. Unlike others, he didn’t trade at the Hob,he paid.

“Marry me.” he demanded.

Hazelle rolled her eyes, a retort already onher lips – probably something about how he was too much work or how he was toolate  or something along those lines –but a loud gasp interrupted the familiar banter.

He turned his head, a sinking feeling in hisstomach, to find Effie Trinket on the living-room threshold, flamboyant in hergreen and gold sequins dress, a heavy woolen hooded cloak thingy fastened witha gold brooch on her shoulders, carrying a rectangular glittery purse… Hewasn’t sure how he had missed her approach because she was, as usual, blindingand those green heeled boots of hers couldn’t be discreet.

“My apologies.” she immediately said, her facevisibly turning crimson under the powder covering her face. “I did not mean to interrupt or intrude. I didnot knock because… Well… I never do. I thought… My apologies. Please, go on.”

She whirled around and Haymitch sat there, hisheart hammering in his chest because…

“Calm down, Princess.” he called out, mockingand detached. At least that was what he aimed for. “Just joking.”

Hazelle had closed off as soon as she hadspotted the Capitol.  “I will see youtomorrow.”

“See you.” Haymitch muttered, his attention onEffie who had stopped her hasty retreat and was now hesitating in the corridor.

He didn’t miss the look of pure loathingHazelle tossed her when she passed her by or the disdainful way his escortsized her up and down. Effie jutted her chin up when she was done, a smallsatisfied sneer on her green painted lips. Clearly, she found herself prettier.

And she wasn’t wrong.

Although to be fair, Effie had been spoiled andpampered all her life when Hazelle had been forced to slave herself off to feedher children. They were around the same age, give or take a few years, butHazelle’s face was marked by hardship when Effie’s was smoothed with creams,lotions and make-up.

Once the front door closed softly behindHazelle, Effie’s jaw clenched again and she gave him a long hard look. Then sheturned around and started walking toward the kitchen. He had the very strongfeeling she was going to use the backdoor to go back to Katniss’ without havingto cross path with Hazelle.

He quickly hauled himself out of the armchair.

The good thing with her heels was that he wasalmost always guaranteed to catch up with her if he really tried.

“Effie.” he sighed, grabbing her wrist just asshe was about to round the table, her sight on the door.

“I do apologizefor intruding.” Effie snapped. “I willremember to knock next time. Since you never showed up to the photoshoot Iassumed you were expecting me to come to you and you usually never answer when I ring the doorbell orannounce my presence so… I thought you would be drunk, possibly. Why waste timewaiting in front of your door in the cold? Sillyof me. Not to mention rude. I will not take that sort of liberties again, Ipromise. I hope she did not think me too forward. I would hate not to be on good terms with your wife-to-be, that would makeworking together very awkward.”

“Effie, stop.” he insisted, giving her arm alittle shake. “Look around.”

She glared at him first, then she took a good look around and, if possible, her glarehardened when she realized just how clean everything was.

“Well.” she scowled. “Congratulation. You found yourself a girlfriend who can keep yourhouse clean. Perhaps I should ask her to give some pointers to the Avoxes atthe penthouse.”

He rolled his eyes. “I pay her for it.”

Effie pursed her lips and shrugged off his gripwith one strong tug. “I do not needto be made aware of your personal arrangements.”

“Since when?” he scoffed but she looked readyto bolt again so he lifted both hands in the air in a pacifying gesture. “She’sthe housekeeper, sweetheart. Just thehousekeeper.”

“Do you ask all the women in your employ tomarry you?” she retorted, opening her glittery purse and fishing tworectangular boxes out of it. She tossed them at him and he struggled to catchthem. “The condoms you wanted. I cannothelp but admit it was a big hintsomething was going on. I am not asstupid as I look.” She clicked her purse shut. “I would appreciate it if youmade an appearance at the photoshoot. It will make a nice aside piece for thedresses reveal, Caesar will like it.”

He grabbed her arm back before she could runoff, trapping her against the table with his body this time.

“Are you done being a bitch?” he grumbled. “The condoms are for Peeta.”

She shoved him but he refused to move. It hadbeen give or take three months since the last time he had seen her and he was damned if that was how it was going togo. It would be another three months before the Reaping and he wanted… Hewanted something to go on. A nicelittle hour locked in his bedroom would do the trick.

“The condoms are for Peeta.” she repeated, in amocking frosty voice. “Do you think me a fool?”

“I told him I’d get him some just in case.” he snapped.

She stopped trying to push him away to glare, her lips pursed. “Are you tellingme I left the children under your solesupervision for three little monthsand they are now having sex?”

“I’m telling you I ain’t taking any risk.” heretorted. “You should be happy.”

“Happy that you are lying to me?” she scoffed. “If I were to cross the street toPeeta’s house right now and ask him ifhe is expecting condoms, he would sayyes, then, wouldn’t he?”

That wasn’ta given.

“Look…” he sighed.

“You do notowe me anything.” she huffed. “You canadmit you have a girlfriend.”

“I don’t dogirlfriends.” he sneered, aggravated. “Why are you being so difficult?” He rolled his eyes. “Why amI even asking stupid questions…” He shook his head. “And you’re right. I don’t owe you anything so can you drop thejealousy act?”

He hadn’t thought she could purse her lipsharder but, apparently, she could. Worse,hurt was starting to replace anger in her blue eyes and she was clearly bitingdown on the inside of her cheek.

“I need to go back to the shoot.” she grittedthrough clenched teeth.

“You need to stop being an idiot.” he mumbled,running a hand in his hair, feeling awkward. “I ain’t screwing Hazelle. Like Isaid she’s just a friend.”

“I thought she was just your housekeeper.” she hissed. “Now she is a friend?”

“You’re twisting everything I say.” hecomplained.

“You asked me to bring condoms despite the factwe have not used any in ages and whenI come here I find you asking a woman to marry you.” she spat, her blue eyesfilling with tears.

And, alright, from that point of view…

He tentatively placed his hands on her hips.

“We ain’t a couple, sweetheart.” he remindedher slowly. He wanted to be firm, to be cruel maybe because that had alwaysbeen the best way to keep her at arm-length but… It had been a while since hehad truly wanted to keep her atarm-length. “No strings.”

Her face closed off and, a second later, Effiewas gone and the escort was back. A charming cheerful smile on her lips, eyesshining bright in excitement rather than sorrow, the perfect picture ofhappiness. A lovely doll on a shelf.

He hated it when she did that.

He wasn’t sure at which point she had startedbeing herself around him, when shehad started losing the mask for him but… He liked the real her, the woman hiding behind her armor of silk and powder… Theescort was ruthless and fake and while he understood the necessity of stickingto a public personal – his old drunk one wasn’t a favorite of hers either – hehated it when she turned it against him.

“Don’t do that.” he chided, cupping her cheek.

She tried to remove his hand.

“Please, be careful not to smudge my make-up.”she complained in an even voice, as if they hadn’t just been arguing. “I really needto go back now.”

“You ain’t a photographer and you ain’t astylist.” he countered. “They can do without you.”

“Still.” She shot him her most dazzling smile.“I would rather keep an eye onKatniss.”

He should have let her go. He should have lether go and jumped on the opportunity because in a few months, the rebellionwould start and she would be better off if she wasn’t closely associated withhim. It would be safer for her. Hell,it would be safer for both of them.

And yet…

“Didn’t sleep with her.” he insisted, retracingher cheekbone with his thumb, his fingers toying with the minty green wig onher head. Testing if it was glued on or if there was any chance she would takeit off… “Don’t sleep with anyone else.” he added with a wince after a momentbecause she didn’t look convinced. “You know that.”

“No, I do not.”she replied, in that sing-song bubbly tone he hated. “No matter. As you said,it is no concern of mine. No stringsit is. Besides, I have prospects tooin the city.”

He moved before her words even fullyregistered, getting into her space, pinningher against the table…

“Mine.”he growled.

If she was disturbed by the sudden brutal move,she didn’t let on. Her nails were digging hard into his arms. “Am I?”

He stole a kiss, not giving her a chance toprotest. Her mouth remained closed and unforgiving under his.

“Princess…” he scowled. The hand that was onher cheek slid to her nape and the one on her waist found her ass… “Stop beinga bitch.”

“Arethose condoms for you?” she demanded to know.

“They’re for the boy.” he sighed, bumping hisnose against her cheek. “Come on…When was the last time I even…”

“What do I know?” she cut him off. “That womanseemed awfully cozy in your house.Leaving you lunch and talking about your laundry.”

“She’s my housekeeper.” he repeated, tired ofthe endless argument.

“I thought she was your friend.” she remarkedbitterly.

“Can’t she be both?” he grumbled.

She turned her head to the side and he attackedher neck with his mouth, making quick work of that golden brooch that kept thewoolen cloak on her shoulders. She must have started to see reason, he figured,or she wouldn’t have let him kiss her neck like that.

“Don’t you dareleave a mark.” she warned. Her hands slowly moved up to his shoulders, alittle hesitant. She was trembling and he didn’t think it had to do withdesire.

With a sigh he drew back, meeting her eyespoint blank. “I didn’t fuck her. Iain’t ever gonna fuck her. Or another one for that matter. I really wanna fuck youthough. So, what it’s gonna be? We fuckor we wait for three more months?”

She shot him an aggravated look, a pout on herlips.

“Language.” she rebuked. Her blue eyes searchedhis and then she looked away, to a distant point over his shoulder. “Are you in love with her?”

“For fuck’ssake, what do I have to say for you to getit?” he shouted, losing his patience.

He stepped back and marched toward thecupboard, grabbing a glass and a bottle of moonshine and slamming both on thecounter.

“You said you did not sleep with her not that you did not have feelings for her.” she shot right back. “You asked her to marry you.”

“It was a fuckingjoke!” he snapped, pouring himself a glass and downing it in one go.

“You neverjoke about that with me.” shescowled.

“’Cause with you it wouldn’t be a joke.” he retorted before he could think it through. Whenwhat had just slipped out of his mouth registered, he froze. She was watchinghim with wide startled eyes. A long deep hush fell on the kitchen. He wassqueezing the glass so tight he wasn’t really surprised when it cracked. He putit down before it shattered and he licked his lips. “I mean…” he clarified, hisvoice sounding hollow to his own ears. “You can’t take a joke. You’d take itseriously. Not that… I didn’t mean I’d want…”

“Alright.” she whispered.

Her face was blank and he didn’t dare meet hereyes, didn’t dare face the turmoil of emotions he was pretty sure was ondisplay there.

“Didn’t sleep with Hazelle.” he insisted.“Don’t have feelings for her either.”

“Alright.” she repeated.

“Condoms are for Peeta.” he concluded.

“Alright.” she said again.

He wasn’t sure what to do with all thatmeekness, wasn’t sure how they were going to escape the awkwardness in thekitchen, so he did what he always did when he was unsure: he turned her back toher and poured himself another drink.

“Haymitch?” she called. He heard the quietruffling of fabric behind him and figured she was putting her cloak back on.

“What?” He looked through the window over thesink at his deserted weed infested backyard and told himself it was fine. Shewould go and the next time they saw each other, it would be alright.

“Is this table clean?” she asked.

“Should be. Hazelle scrubs everything down.”The question was odd and he glanced at her over his shoulder, thinking maybeshe would suggest having lunch to salvage what could be of the day, only to doa double-take when he realized she hadn’tbeen putting her cloak back on. He turned around completely, hastily placingthe glass down on the counter, his eyes roaming over all the bare creamy skinon display…

She had lost the dress and the heels. And shewas giving him a sultry look.

“Fuckme on it.” she commanded.

His feet moved without his leave and, soonenough, she was lying on his kitchen table, he was naked too and he was definitely enjoying having a cleanhouse. It wasn’t like they had never done that on a table – hell, if thepenthouse’s dining-room could talk… – but it was a little different to have herlike that in his house, on a table heused mostly every day.

Afterward, while she was still lying therebasking in her afterglow, he kissed her stomach, nuzzled her thigh…

“I have a badhabit of breaking engagements.” she murmured suddenly.

His heartbeat quickened but he refused to givein to panic. “No kidding. How many again? Three?”

“Three.” she confirmed. “I believe the fourthtime might be the charm.”  

“I feel bad for the poor guy who ever put aring on your finger.” he taunted but he also kissed the inside of her knee andoffered a hand to help her sit up.

She took it and immediately locked her anklesbehind his legs, trapping him right there. She nipped at the tender flesh underhis ribcage. “You should if he doesn’t get me a big diamond ring… I have been waiting a long time for it, I expecta pretty one.”

He rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms aroundher slender frame, running his fingers down her spine.

“Good thing I’mnever marrying you, then.” he snorted. “You’re too fussy.”

She seemed to deflate a little. “They would never let us, would they? Even if… Wewould not be able to.”

��Not right now, no.” He shrugged. “Capitols andDistricts don’t mix, sweetheart. We’re barely better than animals, remember?”

“Perhaps one day.” she whispered against hisskin. A promise or a consolation, he wasn’t sure.

“Would imply I actuallywant to marry you.” he grumbled.

“Maybe one day hypothetically.” she corrected with asad chuckle.

“Yeah…” he sighedagainst her neck. “Hypothetically.”

He told himself itwasn’t part of why he really wantedthat revolution to work out.

[avery-knight-writes]

Country Music Analyses: “I’m Still a Guy” by Brad Paisley

Welcome to the first installment of Country Music Analyses! We’re starting the series off with the song that inspired it. This song was a favorite of mine when I was younger, and along with my upbringing, it worked to define my perception of masculinity and the values that should be placed on and assigned to gender roles.

I have recently noticed how much of it is utter bullshit.

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

 (Note: I don’t reproduce and comment on the entire song for the purposes of these analyses. Not every line is noteworthy, but if you want to be certain I’m not misrepresenting the context of a lyric, feel free to Google the song. In fact, I would invite everyone to do that.)

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR: Sexual harassment/assault mention

 When you see a deer, you see Bambi

And I see antlers up on the wall

When you see a lake, you think picnics

And I see a largemouth up under that log

So, right off the bat, we have some gender role nonsense. And no, apologists, it isn’t just personal differences between the two of them, it’s gender roles because the whole goddamn song is about his pride in being a model of the male gender role. His female partner isn’t even a character in this song, just a generic illustration of traditional femininity.

Do I really have to explain why this is messed up? There’s very much a “women are soft romantics, men like outdoorsy stalking-and-killing wildlife stuff” theme here. And obviously there’s no evidence to support this generalization. A lot of women like outdoorsy things, a lot of men are romantics, a lot of people like one or both or neither.

When you see a priceless French painting

I see a drunk naked girl

“The naked female body is merely an object for my consumption.”

You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy

And I'd like to give it a whirl

Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of

And in a weak moment I might

Walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall

But remember I'm still a guy

Some guys are rightfully terrified of the idea of riding a wild bull, own little dogs, and carry purses. They are still men. Funny how individual preferences have no bearing on your gender, isn’t it?

(Also, rodeo bull riding involves abusing an animal to make it violently angry for the entertainment of the masses and the profit of a few. You should not want to participate in animal cruelty.)

And I'll pour out my heart

Hold your hand in the car

Write a love song that makes you cry

Then turn right around

Knock some jerk to the ground

'cause he copped a feel as you walked by

Honestly? No complaints with the chorus. The first three lines are about being sweet and romantic, and then the last three? I can’t really argue with punching sexual harassers/assaulters in the face.

But when you say a backrub means only a backrub

Then you swat my hand when I try

Well now what can I say at, the end of the day

Honey, I'm still a guy

Ah yes, a completely natural and healthy trait of all real men everywhere is a constant, overwhelming libido that causes them to violate the established physical boundaries of the person they love!

Look, different couples have different dynamics. For some people, an interaction like this could be pretty playful and innocent. But some people are very particular about only being touched when and how they have explicitly permitted you to do, and furthermore, this segment reinforces the horrible tolerance our society has developed for sexual violence within romantic/sexual relationships. Heck, I know a frighteningly great number of people who are distressed by the fact that men pinching the ass of a woman they don’t even know on the street has “become” sexual harassment, as though that hasn’t always been a violation of someone’s physical boundaries and only recently have we developed some of the necessary legal and social shifts to allow a violated woman to seek justice.

Christ on a bike, y’all.

Okay, we hit another chorus, and then we come to the part of this song that gave me the idea for this series.

It makes me so mad, guys. Buckle in.

These days there's dudes getting facials

Manicured, waxed, and botoxed

With deep spray on tans and creamy, lotion-y hands

You can't grip a tackle box

I happen to like both fishing and moisturizing regularly. But I don’t normally roll up to the lake, find myself a shady spot, and start lotioning up. Obviously.

Yeah with all of these men lining up to get neutered

It's hip now to be feminized

But I don't highlight my hair

That’s a personal choice. You have chosen incorrectly. (Just kidding, I’ve never died my hair once. I do want purple hair, though.)

I've still got a pair

Testicles do not make the man, Bradley.

Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

 My eyebrows ain't plucked

There's a gun in my truck

Oh thank God I'm still a guy

Okay, my snarky asides aside, this whole section (which is the entire rest of the song) is such toxic garbage. I mean, we have transphobia (“men lining up to get neutered” and “I’ve still got a pair,” implying that a person must have testes to be a man) along with the standard derision that tough guys have for “pretty boys,” i.e. men who have some or many feminine traits, or simply aren’t as hypermasculine as the paragons of male desirability that are country boys. The whole thing is just infuriatingly ignorant and needlessly condescending.

Guess what, Brad? It actually isn’t “hip now to be feminized.” What it IS now is somewhat more acceptable for people to express themselves honestly and fully. Not safe enough, because there are still plenty of assholes who, like you, belittle them for being their authentic selves.

And let me ask you something. What in the flying fuck would it cost you to just let people be themselves? Men who wear skirts and makeup aren’t hurting you or anyone else. They’re just existing. They are happy when they are free to dress and present and exist as they please, and the only distress they experience from doing so is the duress inflicted upon them by bigoted assholes who say and publish shit like this!

Paisley’s stated intent for this piece was to “capture” the “struggle” between men and women his song. But all he really captured was an overly simplistic caricature of masculinity and femininity as passed down to us through centuries of patriarchy. That’s a struggle, all right, but it isn’t the one he cares about. Perhaps the best critique of his failure to understand the reality of gender and identity comes from the Genius lyric page for this song: “One thing comes across clearly in Brad’s light-hearted play on these stereotypes: gender is always a performance.”

Ugh. I’m going to wrap up here, before I rant myself into next Tuesday. I want to point out here that while this song of Paisley’s obviously pisses me off- partly, I’ll remind you, because I bought into the dumpster fire that is its concept of gender roles for so long- I actually like a lot of the man’s discography. I might do one of his better songs in the future. Or I might tear apart the creepy, stalker-ish upbeat nightmare that is his “It Never Would’ve Worked Out Anyway.” Or I might do both, but I don’t want this series to turn into a Paisley-fest.

I haven’t decided which song to tackle next week, but it should be a more positive one. Thanks to everyone who made it this far. I hope you liked it enough to stick around for the next one. If you didn’t, that’s fine. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day either way.

[yeshawrites]

4.

AGENCY, CHAPTER 4. You can find all other works of mine here. NOTES: This story is not always friendly. It contains some graphic content, brief mentions of non-sexual nudity, murder, death, and plenty of language. Please be advised before you read it. Some upsetting content is in this chapter.

Dahlia sat perched on the edge of her bathroom counter, teasing her bubblegum pink, short hair just so. Peering intently into the mirror, she dragged a finger slowly downward under her eye, poking at the skin. Bags? Oh no. That would simply not do. She turned to the left, unlatching a multi-tiered box and sliding the trays out one by one. Pots and pump bottles and lotions of all sorts sat in the bottom, eyeshadows stacked neatly on the second row and more lipsticks, mascaras, and eyeliners than were necessary piled together in the third. Teasing her favorite face cream out, she pumped a dollop onto her finger and set to massaging it in. Exactly two minutes, she reminded herself, then let sit for two minutes. That was what the sales rep said. Makeup had come so far.

Technology as a whole, she mused absently, had come even farther. How long ago was it that they were using telegrams? Now you took a picture on your phone and it was global in mere seconds. It excited her something terribly, but even her exuberance at the newness was tempered with caution. Better technology meant better cameras and heat sensors and traps and communication. She supposed even Jason Voorhees might have been stymied by kids who thought to SnapChat him. But that was where knowledge came in. As quickly as technology had sprung up, her knowledge was still a vast pool, a shark in the water. Cameras were fallible, and heat sensors could be tricked. People made mistakes. Traps sprang without their prey. It was just a matter of patience, caution, and knowledge. Dahlia inspected her skin tone and spread a light color correcting creme over her face, applying a layer of foundation after. Touching up with a hint of blush, she combed her wayward brows and plucked them to perfection. Out came her eyeliner. Oh how she loved eyeliner; back in the day she used so much that these modern sticks would never have lasted her. Now she preferred to keep it simple. She coated her eyelashes with a layer of mascara and applied her lipstick: bright, vibrant pink. Too much pink? She asked herself. No. Never too much pink. She hopped from the counter and pranced through her sunny pink-and-white bedroom, candy cane stripes on her wall and plush pillows on her bed and billowy, pink curtains drawn over long windows. Delving into her closet, Dahlia pried out a pair of jeans and a white top, throwing on a pink necklace to match her sparkly pink nails. She appraised herself in the mirror and blew herself a kiss. How she had ever thought to go out in public before makeup was a continual source of wonder and embarrassment for her. “I’m lovely.” She smiled broadly at herself and did an experimental twirl. Now for shoes. Reaching under her bed, Dahlia pulled out a steamer trunk overflowing with them. She positively, absolutely adored the things. Heels, flats, boots, platforms, wedges--anything was good by Dahlia so long as they were cute. She’d once picked a fight with a Seraph after he broke one of her favorite heels. It had not gone well for her--but it had not gone well for him either, the smug, suit-wearing bastard. Rifling through the packed case, she pulled out a pair of three inch, strappy bubblegum heels with a large stone set on the front of them. How perfect--a perfect outfit for a perfect day. She pulled on her purse and hopped down the stairs two at a time, never afraid of falling. Jangling her keys about in a hand, Dahlia stepped into her living room (also decorated mainly in pink, grey the compliment this time) and peered through the French doors into her dining room. “I’ll be back!” Wiggling her fingers in a wave, she gave a sad smile to the man duct taped to her dining room chair. His eyes were huge with horror, sweat rolling in beads down his forehead. “Now now, don’t sweat all over that chair. It’s an antique, I’ll have you know, straight from Russia. You stay put right there until I get back.” The man had no choice. He tried to say something, but it came through the tape as only a muffled mmmmmmph. “What was that? Oh, I’m sure you can tell me all about it once I come home and deal with you. Toodles!” Popping her pastel pink earbuds into her ears, she turned up her music and bounced out the door, locking it securely behind her. --- Click click click click click click click click click-- Tiffany rested her head against the window, staring directly at Jeremy, wondering when he would turn the damn blinker off. It had been on for the better part of two miles and no sign of stopping yet. Midlothian Turnpike was hell enough without the infernal noise. Click click click click click click click--He hummed something absently and she wondered if he even knew it was on. “Blinker’s on,” she announced finally. He gasped as if shot and smacked it down. “Well that’s embarrassing. I’m becoming an old man.” “You’re twenty-two.” “I’m aaaaancient.” She rocked her head back against the window and stared outside at the yellow street lights flickering by. The sky was an inky black bleeding into blue, the headlights carving a path through the deserted streets. Night shifts sucked, especially in the Midlothian area. At least there was something to look at in Richmond; up in the suburbs, there was nothing but fast food and grocery stores and banks and dentists. They passed a 7-11 converted into a pizza place and Tiffany wondered why it was that the convenience store did so poorly around here. She assumed it had something to do with all the rich people. “You aren’t mad at me or something, are you, girl?” Jeremy asked anxiously. “Huh? No. No, why?” He heaved relief. “Oh, good. You were just quiet is all. I was worried you were annoyed with me or something.” “Over the blinker? Sure,” she joked. “But no. We’re solid. I’m just tired.” “Yeah.” Nodding sympathetically, he took a turn past the gym. “You work hard, lady. You should take a break from that restaurant every once in a while.” “Nah, ‘cause then my parents will really think I’m not doing anything.” “Oh God. Are they still hounding you about college?” “Yep,” she sighed. “I tried to tell them I wanted a year off before I committed.” “Didn’t listen?” “Nope.” “Aw. I’m sure they’ll come around. They love you no matter what.” Tiffany side-eyed Jeremy and wondered what he meant by that. His parents no longer spoke to him. Apparently accepting their daughter as a son was not possible.

“Do you want to play some music?” He offered. “Oh, come on. We never agree on music.” He wrinkled his nose. “Yeah. That’s right. I mean, maybe you’ll like The--” “--If you say ‘Decemberists’, I’ll kindly remind you we listened to that the last six times you were trying to come up with a compromise.” “Two times.” “Two times,” she admitted. “You get what I’m saying.” “Well,” he started slowly. There was a cop ahead of them. Even though their plates would come up with special privileges, Jeremy slowed on instinct. “We could just pop on the radio. It gets dull if no one is talking.” Tiffany thought about it and mentally agreed. They needed something going. Once midnight hit it would be twenty hours awake for her, and she was ready for bed. She punched the radio on and ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears filled the cab. Her laughter intersected with Jeremy’s squeal of delight. “Oh come ON. You, the hipster king, like Britney Spears?” “I don’t think you understand.” He held up a finger while taking the u-turn near the YMCA, heading right back the way they came. “This was my middle school-slash-high school jam.” “Jer, could you get more stereotypically gay right now?” “I’m pretty sure ‘Toxic’ is a baby gay rite of passage,” He joked. “Anyone who says they didn’t like ‘Toxic’ but still like it up the butt is lying to you.” “Jeremy David--!” The sensor box mounted on the dash glowed fiercely blue, warped into purple, tried to force its way back to green and began squealing. Jeremy stomped on the brakes, the Lincoln screeching to a halt the same time that the sensor outright exploded, bits of wire and plastic casing spraying them. Tiffany screamed and shielded her face, drawing her knees up protectively as Jeremy dove for cover. A moment of silence as the pieces rattled to the floor like hail, and they both surfaced tentatively to inspect the damage. “What the hell was that?” She asked shakily. “No fuckin’ clue,” Jeremy managed. Together they stared out the windows at their surroundings, nearly forgotten in their conversation. To the left, a lake on the edge of an apartment complex lapped silently at walking trails. As one, their gaze shifted slowly to the right and to the mass of trees, a parking lot to a series of pathways leading into pitch blackness under the boughs. “Not the Coal Mines?” Tiffany moaned softly. “Might be.” He reached unsteadily for the radio mounted on the dash. “I’m calling this in.”

[yesdarlingido]

First moments, the merging of two cells into one, multiplying—two, four, six, eight—rapidly growing and forming the information that will decide my hair, eyes, teeth, hands, my genetic DNA. Everything I needed to become a human and still I am invisible to the naked eye. I am grown from my Mother’s own body, my blood from her blood, my heartbeat from her choice; making her belly swell and her hormones go crazy with rage and want for whip-cream filled donuts at 4am. My body grows and she puts her hand upon her belly to feel a foot kick her side, the jerk of hiccups, the round of my head. She is proud, proud of her body that is a force, source of life to mine. I grow. Her body tells her it is time; I come into the world with pain and euphoria as she breaks her beautiful body to give me life. She sees me for the first time, what she has made, and it is good. The intricacies of the human body is something staggering - veins, heart, lungs, synapses, toenails, chemicals, eyelashes, all good and beautiful. She holds my body and breathes in. I grow. From a baby to a toddler, toddler to little girl. I am four and I can run around with my shirt off and feel the fullness of the wind.  I can paint my belly and take baths with my friends, slap my butt and laugh. We sleep under stars and run through sprinklers naked and wild. We are silly and think our bodies are strange and wonderful. I grow and I am six. I am taught what I can and cannot do with my body; can no longer take my shirt off outside on my front porch, no longer run around naked with my friends outside with paint on our bellies because the man across the street stares so my Mother takes me inside and tells me I am now the age where I need to be careful. A feeling comes I never knew before, I learn later the word for it is this - shame. We are at our friend’s house and the teenage boy keeps making me sit on his lap; I don’t understand it. We are all sitting in a circle, about ten of us, and no one notices. I am confused and try to get away from him, but he holds me there and moves his hands in a way I don’t understand. I feel I should obey because he is a strong older boy and I a small girl inherently weaker than he. I get mad that my body is not stronger, that I cannot break free. I feel it is my fault, maybe I should not have worn shorts so my legs were covered. And then there was the church leader, my friend’s father, who insisted he put lotion on my legs after our bath. I didn’t want him to, but he made me obey, because he was a man, and I, young and born the lesser of the sexes. It is uncomfortable and I thought he must not know what he is doing, a respectable man, let alone a church leader wouldn’t do this…but now I am older and know better, yes, he knew. So I am six and I can no longer be free in this body I once ran wild in, but I should cover it because there are predators and I don’t tell because I am ashamed, and it was no big deal, no reason to fuss. I am fourteen. I feel my body changing on me, I notice and others notice and I no longer have the freedom of my youth. Blood comes and I am embarrassed; hiding the grocery store runs, keeping it a secret, seeing my brother laugh when he looks under the sink. It is a wonder of growing to womanhood, but I am starting to hate being a woman.  I am ashamed at what my body does, this beautiful thing that I once ran free in is turning on me, making me awkward and uncomfortable because even you are now uncomfortable with that thought. Boy’s eyes consume rather than see. I am told this is my fault, I am told God wants me to cover my body, wear longer skirts and shirts up to my collar bone and be sure it isn’t tight.  But how much skin is okay? Because other girls cover their whole body in black and I heard of the day there were two separate staircases for males and females so that males wouldn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of a girl’s ankle. Now that I am fourteen, now that I am changing, is God now ashamed with what he made? The body formed in my mother, so good and beautiful, turned to shame with age and religious threads weaving and constructing my social identity? Oppression for something I cannot control, something completely natural and good. If this body is not holy in and of itself then God should have never made it in the first place. It’s the flower hating its vibrant petals, the beautiful tree sprouting from the earth only to grow and be ashamed of its bark. I am twenty. I have rejected the shy, awkward aspects of womanhood and instead learned to joke about it to cope and be cool. But when night comes, I am often afraid to walk down the street alone. Every walk I take is accompanied with fear, because I see the eyes consume. I hear the threats and am followed. I have friends who are victims. Every girl I know has been afraid, every one of them. From taking a simple walk to rape and a child coming from it. One hid in the laundry basket when she was 9. One silently prayed every night from 13 to 16 that her father would be too drunk to come into her bed. One was at a party with her friend, he wanted something, she didn’t, so he trapped her in the restroom. One hid from her brother, another from her grandfather, another from her coworker. Some say it is the woman’s fault—the shirt was too low, breasts too big, how can a man resist?  But here’s a staggering idea: maybe the victim isn’t at fault. If in looking at the beautiful woman’s body you cannot appreciate her beauty but must strip and consume then it is true our culture has poisoned your mind—consume, take, be the animal, take, take, take. Shame. Did my mother think that when she held me close to her chest at my birth? Was she ashamed? The beautiful form becomes forbidden and lusted at a certain age, all held together by a story of a serpent and a woman. Though some claim the curse is broken, some still believe it—the body is shamed, curse ever present. I am thirty. I made two girls within my own body, felt the rush of bringing them into the world, and when I saw their bodies, I saw a miracle. Their skin and eye lashes perfect. Tiny lips, tiny fingernails, eyes embodying innocence and awe. They grow and run around my house naked and scream wildly without self-awareness or social concern. I teach them about our culture and what is and isn’t acceptable. But what I will not teach them is shame of their body. It was beautiful from moment one, and that will not change - not with age, not with anything. One daughter looks at her body in the mirror, we talk about the organs and skin, how her body will change. She is beautiful on every count. I remember when I was six, and I know I have to warn her. Not shame her, but tell her how some people were not taught to love, but take for themselves and she must be brave and aware. It pains me as I tell her, her innocent mind not know why one person would hurt another in such a way. “Do not be afraid,” I tell her. “But this is our culture, so be smart and be aware my brave girl.” Shame teaches us, but I will not teach my daughters in this way. I will empower them to be proud of their bodies, respectful of their bodies, in awe of how miraculous it is and what it is capable of. I will tell my daughter that to be a woman is not to be lesser, not object, not the bed in the red light district, nor the “bitch” in the hotel. She is not the body to exploit or product to consume. “She” is not shame. “She” is beautiful woman with beautiful body, capable of cosmic realities. Holding someone close, experiencing love, making love, creating life, accepting another human life as her own, feeling pain, joy, giving strength, healing with a kiss, wholeness with a touch; giving physical and mental nourishment with her own body. “She” is grounded enough to follow, still capable to lead from a child to a nation.  The woman’s body is made in the image of Love, from Love herself, Life herself, so she herself is of God. For my Grandmother, for my Mother, for my daughters, my friends, and as a reminder to myself: be proud, beautiful woman, your body is intrinsically good, perfectly good. Perfect from moment one.

Lisa Gungor, Moment One

Read on The Liturgist’s episode, Woman

[philtaton]

Into You - A Captive Prince fanfiction

This is my gift for number 4, for the @capri-secretsanta​ event! My pairing of choice was my lovely princes and my prompt was the Ariana Grande song that I’m so happy I got introduced to. I wish you happy holidays!

You can also read the story on [Ao3]

Summary:  Damen is a bodyguard. His assignment: Torveld and his fiance Laurent. What's supposed to be a routine job breaks Damen's heart. The question is who will pick up the pieces.

"I have eyes on the hallway. The way to the elevator is free. Waiting for the all clear."

Damen squints his eyes, his arm stretched out to keep his clients from entering the hallway until the static sound of his communication line is interrupted by the rustling answers of his team members.

"Lobby and reception area. All clear." Makedon.

"Elevator One. All clear." Pallas.

"Elevator Two. All clear." Erasmus.

"I'm waiting in front of the building. I have eyes on the car. All clear." Nikandros.

Damen lowers his arm and glances back at his clients one last time. "Just like we discussed. Don't stall. Let's move."

It was a small group that sets into motion. Damen in the front, his focus on every movement. Behind him Laurent and Torveld with Aimeric and Lazar and, at the end of the line, Kastor to have their backs. Damen trusts his team with his life and that of his clients'. Why the hell Laurent insisted on having his own two bodyguards with him as well is beyond Damen but so far it hasn't been a problem. Only now they fall back for just a few seconds to check the very hallway Damen himself gave the all clear for.

"No stalling," Damen growls through gritted teeth and Aimeric gives him smug smile for it.

Then everything happens very fast.

Kastor himself pulls his gun, aiming at Laurent, Aimeric does the same, but with his gun held to Torveld's head. Both Lazar and Damen move into action, caught by surprise but not enough to forget their duty. The shot from Kastor's gun rings out the moment Damen pushes against his hand, the bullet hits the wall behind Laurent whose eyes widen and meet Damen's. For a moment there is genuine confusion and maybe even fear, then suddenly it's replaced by cold anger.

The second shot rings out, this one meant for Torveld who manages to twist from Aimeric's grasp. Damen screams no, but Laurent already throws himself at Aimeric, who shoots again, this time missing Laurent only by inches.

"We've been compromised," Damen yells into his earpiece, barely aware of the curses and commands Nikandros yells in response. He's too busy trying to disarm his brother who fights like a lion until Daman manages to slam his fist clean against his jaw and knock him out.

Damen doesn't hesitate. He leaves his brother moaning and barely conscious on the floor and kicks against Aimeric's hand to disarm him before he pulls Laurent up. Torveld's fiancé keeps trying to get to Aimeric and punch his lights out, but Damen holds him in a tight grasp while Torveld himself is dragged to his feet by Lazar who looks at Damen and awaits commands.

"Let's get them out of here."

They run. Torveld is too shocked and just follows Lazar quietly while Damen has to restrain Laurent every step until he's had enough and pins him against the wall.

Once more their eyes meet and Damen wants to pull back from the cold hatred. It only takes a moment though before he gets himself together and growls. "I will not risk your life for revenge, okay?"

"Fuck you," Laurent spits back. "They betrayed us!"

"I know!" Damen shouts and then deflates, even when his grip on Laurent doesn't ease up. Only his voice sounds softer – weaker – when he repeats it. "I know. But we have to get you two out of here. Just let me do my job… You two are too valuable."

Laurent scoffs and Damen can't even be mad at him for that. There is no doubt who's considered to be of value to this world. Torveld is the one who ended the war in his country, the one who is about to become President and sign treaties with both neighbor states, the one who can lead the whole continent into a stable future. Laurent? Laurent is just the brother of a King. He's a trophy. He knows it himself. The whole world knows it. And Damen knows it too.

"You don't even believe it yourself," Laurent says quietly and the fight drains out of him. "Let's go."

Damen steps back and almost wants to say something but Nik's voice asks for their status and reality hits him. He blinks slowly and motions towards the staircase as he pushes the button of his com. "We're coming."

---

Ten weeks. Ten weeks of asking himself why it all happened and what he could have done to prevent it. Maybe it would be different if Kastor hadn't gotten away. Like this, Damen can't ask his brother and find any answers. He only has the questions. Days of being tense and wondering if there is another betrayal right around the corner. Nights of startling awake, wondering if he missed anything.

Nothing about the situation is easy. But the remaining team stands united and somehow that gives Damen the strength to not just throw it all away and drink himself into blissful ignorance.

Rolling his shoulders, Damen slips into his suit jacket and nods at Torveld. "Ready for the evening, Sir?"

Torveld offers a smile that somehow manages to make him look desperate. "It's a celebration, right?A reason to be happy."

Damen frowns. "You're not?"

"I am… In a way," Torveld says with a shrug. "The treaty was important and now that it's signed we can finally start on the real work. But first… Champagne and handshakes. All evening. Let the fun begin."

It makes Damen chuckle and it might be the first time Torveld looks a bit more human. "Nik is waiting for you right outside. I will wait for your fiancé, Sir."

Torveld glances at the bathroom, the sound of the shower the only sound in the room. Laurent has a reputation for being fashionable late, even if it could potentially lead to a diplomatic disaster. Damen tries not to feel bad Torveld when he sighs and thanks Damen. "Don't tell him to hurry when he gets out of there. It will make him take his time."

Damen nods and watches Torveld leave, relaxing only when Nik's voice confirms that they safely made it into the ball room. Security is tight there and it's not just his own company but the intelligence service and the police as well. Damen can focus on Laurent who opens the bathroom door right that moment.

The dark towel around his hips makes his skin look even more pale and his hair is still damp. He looks bored when he plugs the hairdryer in. "Torveld couldn't wait for me, I suppose?"

Damen tries not to be annoyed. "This isn't just a party tonight. It's a symbol."

"Yes, sure," Laurent says and frowns before he picks up a small tin of lotion to tab it into the skin under his eyes. "World peace and a golden future… It all depends on brainless small talk and petite beauties laughing at jokes their husbands make. Well, petite beauties and me of course."

"You're beautiful as well," Damen says and then realizes what he just said. "I mean… You know…"

Laurent is unfazed but at least turns around to look at Damen. It's a very brief moment of attention and it makes Damen want to ask, What is it? What do you see?

But as quickly as it came, it's gone and the familiar boredom glazes Laurent's eyes over. "You can wait outside. I'll be right there."

---

When Laurent closes the door behind him, he looks stunning. The dark blue suit is classic, without anything special on first glance. But it fits perfectly, the cut showing off everything that is right with the young Prince and Damen can't help but think that maybe he was born and lived his life just so he could see Laurent in this suit. He stares for a moment longer than he should, then clears his throat. "Ready?"

"To drop some jaws?" Laurent says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Lead the way."

The guests start to mumble when Laurent enters the ballroom and they don't recognize how shallow his smile is as he makes his way across the room to Torveld to gently touch his shoulder and accept his glass of champagne. Damen keeps his eyes on both of them and he has to say that Laurent plays his part well. He is stunning, a revelation of elegance of beauty and everyone in the room, men and women alike, must think the same – nobody can touch this man.

But one can, and one does. Torveld is as smitten as the rest, his hand always roaming, from Laurent's arm to the small of his back, to his shoulder. He hangs on Laurent's lips whenever he talks and sometimes they share a look that shows how well they know each other. There is a certain intimacy there, but also a certain sadness. Maybe nobody else can see it, but Damen does. It's written into the way Torveld smiles as well as into the way Laurent keeps his shoulders straight.

Aside from this particular tension, the evening is easy. Security is high, but the people in the room are relaxed and the evening gets to the point where people get tipsy. Not drunk. They hardly ever get drunk on nights like this. But enough so people get bold. They flirt, with both Torveld and Laurent. Damen is more relieved than ever that he doesn't have to play this game when suddenly, Laurent excuses himself. And faster than Damen can look, he's gone.

Damen quickly goes after him and when he lost sight, he starts to run. Out of the room, down the heavy-carpeted hallway of the summer palace. He wants to call for backup when he spots the open glass door that leads out to the small balcony.

"You can't just run off like that," Damen says quietly as he approaches quietly. "You know that."

"I knew you'd follow anyways," Laurent replies somberly. "And like this at least I had a few seconds to myself."

The Prince seems… weary. Damen closes the balcony door behind him after he stepped outside. "Are you all right?"

"I want to go away," Laurent whispers. For a long moment he just stares out into the night, then he straightens up and looks at Damen before he lets out a laugh. "I don't even know why I told you that."

Damen shrugs. "I'm used to it. Bodyguards are like priests. The things I've heard…"

That makes Laurent squint and he cocks his head. "And you've never sold out anyone?"

"Why would I?" Damen asks honestly. "I'm proud of what I do, so I won't betray that for gossip."

"A noble hero." Laurent manages to make it sound not quite bitter. But it comes close. It frustrates Damen and he doesn't know what to reply. The silence takes over, but the tension dissolves and then it's just the quiet of the night mixed with the faraway sounds of the ballroom.

"I could take you away, you know?" It's an outrageous suggestion. Damen has no idea why he makes it. "We could say there was something alarming. Maybe a shady guy following you out on the balcony. And I had to get you out."

"And where would you take me? Out into the desert? To a shady motel where we drink cheap beer and watch awful TV?" There is amusement now. And a smile on Laurent's lips. A real smile.

Damen shrugs. "Why not? Except for the awful TV. We'd play cards."

Now Laurent laughs. And Damen grins. He wants to make that happen again. "Cards?"

"Well, yeah. I'm awesome at cards."

Laurent bites his lips, they look at each other. "How would you take me?"

"My motor cycle is at the back door. For a quick getaway."

A heartbeat or two. No more. And then Laurent nods. "Take me out of here."

--- It shouldn't be happening. It's crazy and wrong and it could ruin him. Who is Damen even kidding? It will ruin him. But it's also too late to turn back.

Laurent is clinging to him, Damen's leather jacket way too big on him and occasionally he will cry out, probably thinking Damen can't hear him because of the wind and the motor and the helmets. But Laurent is screaming his lungs out and Damen's heart beats faster because of it. Like watching a caged bird fly.

They really do aim for the desert. Seemingly endless roads and starlight like crystals woven into the pitch black night sky. They drive for an hour or two until Damen stops at a motel that looks like its best days have been behind it since the late 80s.

Laurent takes off his helmet and walks a few steps towards the shabby building. Damen expects a protest. Instead Laurent turns around and nods. "Perfect."

---

"Why did you want to leave?"

Such a simple question. And yet, it wipes Laurent's smile from his face. Damen has been trying to make it show on Laurent's face for such a long time and now it's simply gone.

"I'm not a person when I'm at those gala parties." Laurent takes another sip from his drink. It's not cheap beer, but cheap sparkling wine and Laurent has abandoned his red cup to drink straight from the bottle. "I feel like a pet."

"You're not a pet," Damen says quietly and there is this strand of hair that falls into Laurent's face. Damen tucks it behind his ear. Laurent freezes but lets it happen. "You're a person and if they treat you like that, they're all assholes."

The smile is back. Laurent drinks from the bottle again. He was right from the start, Damen thinks. It is perfect.

---

They return the next morning and Nikandros is fuming. Of course he is. And Torveld? Out of his mind from worry. Damen wants to explain, but Laurent steps forward.

"I panicked," he simply says. "The ordeal with the security breach… It suddenly all came up and I asked Damianos to take me out of the city. It suddenly felt like the only safe place."

Torveld sighs and he pulls Laurent into his arms. He's buying it. Nikandros doesn't.

---

It happens again. The next time it's a museum opening a week later and as always Laurent looks impeccable and makes sure to keep all of Torveld's acquaintances in good mood. This time he doesn't run, though. He excuses himself because of a headache. Everyone looks heartbroken, even Laurent, until Damen leads him out of the room and is about to get them a driver.

"No cars," Laurent says before Damen can get the message out. "Where's your bike? I want to rent a room again."

---

Sometimes rituals are born without anyone noticing it. Just because you keep doing something over and over again.

Sometimes love is the same. Just because someone makes you smile.

---

The first time they decide to sleep there instead of driving back, Damen doesn't like it. But he doesn't really like much about these trips. Except Laurent and the way he looks when he gets off the bike. Happy and carefree, smiling more often than not.

"They will be worried," Damen says for the tenth time. "Everyone. Torveld, my team… They'll be pissed."

"You're tired," Laurent says. "We're staying."

And so the decision is made. Damen tries not to feel grateful when he falls into bed. It's been one of those nights. One nightmare after the other. Even now the thought drives him crazy and makes him feel hot. He shakes off his jacket and closes his eyes. Then he feels a weight next to him on the bed.

When Damen looks up again, Laurent is staring at him. "Do your tattoos mean anything?"

He hesitates but then carefully starts to trace the tribal pattern that covers Damen's upper arm with his fingertips. Damen lets him.

"Some of them do," Damen says and tries not to think about his brother's name inked across his heart right next to his father's and mother's. "Most of them I just wanted because I thought they look cool."

Laurent nods. "They do. I want one too."

"Yeah?" Damen grins and props himself up on his elbows. "What do you want?"

Laurent thinks or a moment. "A kelpie."

"A kelpie?" Damen raises his eyebrows. "Seriously?"

Laurent shrugs. "Looks like a nice horse. Would probably eat you. I like that."

Damen starts to laugh and Laurent joins in. After a while, they forget why they're even laughing, they just do, until they're breathless and their stomachs hurt.

And then Laurent catches Damen by surprise.

"Thank you," he says with the kind of honesty that can't be taken for granted. "For taking me out of there sometimes. For letting me be a person for a while."

What Damen wants to say is, You're welcome.

Instead he says, "I want you to be."

They look at each other. Damen opens his mouth to say something. He doesn't. He just keeps his eyes locked with Laurent. He doesn't even breath. Not until Laurent leans in and their lips touch. It's soft and feather light.

They don't talk about it afterwards. Laurent just puts his head on Damen's chest and they both stare at the ceiling until they fall asleep.

---

After that, they don't just try to get away after parties, but on random days as well. Nikandros suspects something, but is smart enough not to say anything. Torveld might suspect something, but he just keeps smiling sadly. Laurent wouldn't stop anyways. That's clear to Damen at this point. He would either run with him or without him.

They always take the same room. They listen to music, create weird Spotify playlists and dance to them. They do play a lot of cards.

And they kiss. Sometimes that's all they do. And yet, they never talk about it. Not about what it means or what it could do to Laurent's life or Damen's career.

___

Weeks pass. Months.

Damen thinks that maybe he's falling in love.

---

"What do you mean, you've never been to an amusement park?"

Laurent runs his hands through Damen's hair as he straddles him on the worn down carpet of their room. "It means that it's very unprincely to do. So I never went."

"But… What?" Damen is shocked. It gets easier when Laurent kisses him. Still, as soon as their lips don't touch anymore, the shock is back. "You've never been on a roller coaster? Or on a Ferris wheel?"

"I've always wanted to be on one of those!" Laurent exclaims and his cheeks flush. "They look so amazing."

Damen wraps his arms around Laurent and their foreheads touch before he stretches his neck and pecks the corner of Laurent's lips. "I'm gonna take you some day."

"You mean when we move past this motel and just… drive into the sunset and never come back?"

Laurent is mocking him. Damen tries hard not to take it personal. There is something beyond the bitterness. Maybe sadness. Maybe longing.

"Would that be so bad?" Damen asks.

Something shifts. Laurent's shoulders slump and then he pushes himself up. "Can you take me back?"

"Laurent…" Damen is on his feet quickly and he reaches out, but Laurent looks up and suddenly he's that man from the gala party again. The one nobody can touch. Not even Damen.

"Please take me back."

---

After that, it's over.

There are glances, of course. And conversations. Damen is still Laurent's bodyguard after all and they work together closely. But Laurent doesn't ask for a way out anymore and Damen doesn't push.

Sometimes he thinks about it. About a love letter or a bunch of roses. Some romantic gesture that might win Laurent's heart.

But the truth is that this is a prince and Damen is a bodyguard. And what they had was a moment, nothing more. A spark.

Hope is a hard thing to kill, though. So Damen waits, patiently. He wonders if maybe some day Laurent will try to escape again, out on the balcony, then into the desert. But it never happens.

---

"Are you ready, love?"

Laurent turns towards the door. Torveld is on the other side, waiting for an answer. Two more months and they will be married. If nothing happens. Laurent closes his eyes. "I'll be right there in a few moments."

It's their dance by now. Torveld leaves with Nikandros, Laurent gets ready and follows with Damen. Nothing has changed in the past months. Only everything has changed the day before. Laurent can still hear the buzzing and he can still feel the pain. His shoulder is aching.

And he is nervous. Because in a way, this is how it started. With a towel wrapped around his hips and Torveld closing the door behind him.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Laurent finds Damen waiting. More often than not these days, his bodyguard has his eyes on the floor. Laurent needs him to look up now. He moves past him, to the drawer, and waits.

It doesn't take long until Damen lifts his eyes. Laurent catches him in the mirror. The frown, the confusion. "You got a tattoo?"

Laurent turns around, swallows hard. "Do you like it?"

Damen crosses the room and stares into the mirror where Laurent knows he can see the fresh ink. "It's a Ferris Wheel."

They're standing so close. "You said you'd take me some day."

Damen's frown deepens and he looks into Laurent's eyes, searching for answers. When he understands, his eyes widen. "Yes… I did."

"So…" Laurent pushes up on his toes and kisses Damen's jaw.  "Where is your bike?"

[xoxoemynn]

5 things about me...

YAY here I was, feeling a certain kind of way because I feel like I haven’t been tagged in things in 5ever (punny + extra obvs) and my babe @racheloddment​ comes to the rescue. Read on to learn loads of fascinating things about me and my life (under a cut because I’m taking mercy on your dashes YOU’RE WELCOME)

5 Things You’ll Find In My Bag

Chapstick. Never leave home without it. (Actually, usually at least two. Gotta have a backup.) I only use these.

Tampons. Because you never know (either for you or a friend, listen, I GOT YOU)

Hand lotion, because once upon a time a colleague told me I had the softest hands and honestly it was something I never thought about but once someone commented on it I felt like I had expectations to live up to and I ordered myself some from Lush and started ruminating about whether I needed a handcare regimen and LOOK I can’t even take a compliment without developing anxiety about it.

 Burberry Brit Rhythm for Her rollerball because I just like to smell pretty and it makes me feel slightly more put together if I end up having to meet someone important unexpectedly. 

Honestly prob some papers or receipts because it usually takes me a solid six months to throw anything out.

5 Things You’ll Find In My Bedroom (oh god my room is such a mess right now a better question is what WON’T you find in my bedroom)

Too many books I’m in the middle of just hanging out on my bedside table. (Currently Furiously Happy, And the Band Played On, and The Little Friend. 

A lot of jewelry and fragrances that were organized once upon a time and now are not. 

An actual shoe rack. Basically like this one. I REALLY love shoes and used to work at a much dressier office so I’d wear them all the time. Now my office is much more casual so I don’t wear them as often, but I still like to look.

One of these guys. Best. Thing. Ever.

This guy, whose name is Sweater (get it? Alpaca Sweater? But also...I’LL pack a sweater? LOL.) He was a present from my darling @crossroadscastiel because I needed hugs and she couldn’t be there to hug me. He is soft and fluffy and smells truly delightful (idek what scent, but if anyone’s ordered from Lush, you know that scent you get when you open a box from Lush? That’s what he smells like.) Anyway I love him and don’t judge me for not making my bed. 

5 of My Favorite Things

Alpacas, obviously. And whales. Actually let’s just call it and say all animals. 

The pasta from this tiny lil Italian restaurant a few miles from me, there are only about six or seven tables and the chef barely has a kitchen but it’s all made from scratch and with love and I’m dying right now just thinking of it.

Warm weather. //stares longingly out the window at all the snow

Wine. Listen, I have no shame at this point. I love it and it makes me happy. 

Olly Sleep Aid Gummies, which are literally the ONLY thing that has been able to consistently get me to sleep in the past few months. I have them on a monthly subscription order because I am OBSESSED and I just really like being able to sleep. 

5 Things I’m Currently Into (I’m choosing to interpret this as current obsessions mmkay?)

Psych, which is my latest discovery and I’m full-blown obsessed and legit MAD at myself for not watching it while it was still on the air. If you’re not watching it, you should, and if you are watching it, please come scream about it at me because I feel so alone. (Also shameless plug for my sideblog @hulahoopingholt where I post about Psych and lots of other comedy shows.)

Dino nuggets and mac and cheese and do NOT judge me, I don’t care if it’s all processed, it is SUPREME comfort food. I made it my Valentine’s Day dinner for myself and honestly it was the best thing I’ve eaten in a long time and it’s now my pick-me-up meal when I’m especially sad. (Yes, friends, you TOO can be 30 and enjoying nothing more than a five-year-old’s meal of choice.)

My steamer, because I have always HATED ironing and I kid you not, there are some tops I have that I’ve just accepted I’d never wear again because I couldn’t get the wrinkles out, but I got this bad boy for my birthday and OMG it is MAGICAL, SO quick and easy and basically you’re never going to see another wrinkle on me. Gonna steam EVERYTHING.

Amika Soulfood Nourishing Mask, I got a sample in my Sephora Play box this month and I am OBSESSED. It smells SO good and my hair was ridiculously soft after. Usually I need to flatiron my hair, not to get it really straight, but just to keep it from poofing out, and after using this, I didn’t need it. It was the best my hair has ever looked with just a blowdry. I’ll be ordering the full size soon.

Honestly, just the really incredible women I have in my life. (Which isn’t really a CURRENT obsession but they have all stepped up MAJORLY recently so they’re on my mind.) I haven’t really been keeping it a secret that I’ve been going through a rough past few months, and truly, the ONLY reason I’ve been able to keep it together are because I have some really exceptional women in my life who are there for me in ways I didn’t always realize I needed. I could actually write an entire essay just on this, but I’ll chill for the moment and say they are the BEST and I love them and I’m constantly humbled by their love and support.  

5 Things on My To Do List

Pack, because I’m going to NYC this weekend YAY!!!!

Clean, because I’ve been especially swamped this past month and my apartment is showing it yikes.

Meet with a realtor bc I have HAD it with apartment life KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME.

Look for a new job because I have also HAD IT with this current one PLEASE KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED.

Shower tbh. Today was a work from home day and I literally rolled out of bed and onto a web conference call and I thought it would be fine but I am feeling grimy. 

Tag 5 People To Do This

I’m gonna tag @crossroadscastiel, @colewald, @alwaysfallingandrising, @harryjamcs, and @xchelspaige. 💕💕💕💕

[yuudetama]

Forehead and Chill // BTS’ J-Hope

When the two of you go through your skincare routine together.

[A/N] Inspired by this gif set here. 

Fluff, humour. Word Count: 1.6k.

“Toner, serum, moisturizer, then sheet mask?” “Doesn’t it go toner, serum, mask, and then moisturizer?” You glance down to see Hoseok squinting at the item in question as though it holds the key to the universe of glowing skin. The bathroom of his one-bedroom apartment is fairly cramped, with hardly enough space for a fully grown man and his stack of frog-print towels which he insists on keeping piled in the corner, but you make do with the limited room by standing between his legs as he perches atop the bathtub rim. “I’m pretty sure Jin said to use the mask first,” he muses almost to himself, “But then we’d have to wait too long for the essence to dry before putting on the cream…” “You know what, it probably doesn’t matter,” you point out kindly, readjusting the clips holding back your bangs. “It’s all being slathered on the same place.” He takes one final look at the instructions before pulling away. “Yeah, you’re right,” he decides, shaking his head. A flop of hair falls into his eyes and he absentmindedly pushes it back. Unlike your hairpins, Hoseok’s choice of accessory is a black headband, positioned carefully over his head to reveal an expanse of skin for the lotion’s taking. You can’t help but feel the warm rush of satisfaction (and perhaps the slightest hint of envy) at the sight of it. Jung Hoseok’s forehead, as is the rest of his glorious self, is simply too spectacular to put into words. “Jin’ll complain that I messed up his perfect routine again, but that’s okay. I’m pretty sure he just makes it up as he goes, anyway.”

As he begins to open the package, taking care not to rip into the flimsy sheet, you set down your bottle of serum and turn so that your body is facing him completely. “Your hair will keep falling down if you don’t fix it properly,” you tell him. “Here, let me do it.” Bending slightly, you quickly gather the liberated chunks of hair and tuck them underneath the cloth. At this proximity his face is a mere puff of breath away from yours, so close that the scent of his rose water toner wafts from his skin and mingles with the tunes of your own aloe formula. It only takes about ten quick seconds to fix his hair, and when you’re done your fingers linger over his brow. “God, I appreciate your forehead so hard,” you murmur without realizing it. Hoseok lets out his usual hearty laugh. “Out of all the body parts I own- and some of them are really impressive, by the way- my forehead is what gives you the most pleasure?” “Can you blame me?” you argue, eyeing said body part in question. “It’s perfect. I’ve never seen anything more gorgeous in my life.” “So then, the next time I want to seduce you I should just tie up my bangs and wait for magic to happen, right?” He gives you an exaggerated wink. “Oh yes, please,” you say, laughing at his ridiculous expression. “You know I could never say no to some forehead and chill time.” Giving his head one last pat you make a move back towards the sink, but Hoseok stops you, tugging you closer with his free hand instead. “Hold on, I want to put the mask on you first.” You comply with his wishes, resuming the position you’d taken only seconds earlier. Only this time your hands are resting on his shoulders, both for the support and simply because you have the sudden overwhelming urge to touch him. One of the lovely things about dating Hoseok is that he’s always welcoming towards your shows of affection. You could plant a kiss on his cheek or slip your hand into his at the most unexpected of times and he would take it all, just as you would gladly accept everything that he has to give you. He sends you a little smile as he slides the mask out of its plastic confines. “You ready for this?” “Mask me, I’m yours.” You close your eyes and wait confidently for the sheet to settle onto your skin, but almost immediately regret your decision in words. “Wha- it’s cold!” “Hey, I asked if you were ready.” “You could have at least given me a warning.” You scowl at the amused male, but he only grins and continues to pat the chilly mask around the contours of your face. A pat here and a pat there, with the occasional loving pinch to your cheeks. “All done, beautiful.” He takes one look at your face- brow hairs plastered with glutinous essence, face resembling something of a soggy marshmallow with the saturated cotton clinging to the skin- and clasps his hands in a mock swoon. “I think I just fell in love.” “Thanks but I’m already taken,” you laugh, and shoo him towards the sink. “Now go put your own mask on, handsome.” Hoseok maneuvers around you with the ease of a dancer. Peering into the mirror he rubs his chin, angling his jaw this way and that as if to inspect the skin for any blemishes. But his modest facade doesn’t fool you- you’re well aware that he’s only doing it to show off his impressively, ridiculously sharp jawline. So sharp that it can cut through metal, he’d joked when his razor had once cracked during a morning shave. “Really? You think I’m handsome?” “Of course,” you say reassuringly, passing him the second mask, “Just don’t forget to cover up with this and you’re good to go.” He pulls a face but nonetheless accepts your gift. The same dance repeats: fingers skimming over cotton, deftly pulling apart the sticky layers. Soon a second white face joins yours in the mirror. “How do I look?” “Ravishing. This is me trying to hold myself back.” You glance down at the discarded wrapper. For best results leave on for fifteen to twenty minutes, it advises on the back. “We have about twenty minutes to kill. Do you want to go wait in the living room or something?” “Twenty minutes?” Hoseok asks. When you nod he settles back into his spot on the tub. “Why not just wait in here?” You lift a brow. “Do you really want to stand around here when there’s a perfectly good sofa outside-” You’re cut off in mid-sentence when he reaches out and pulls you onto his lap. “I never said anything about standing,” Hoseok teases, settling you comfortably in your newfound seat. He wraps his long arms around your waist and presses his face to yours. It’s an intimacy that you hardly mind (and are admittedly secretly thrilled by, thank you very much), but the sticky sound of your cheeks smacking together says otherwise. “Hey, you’re messing up my sheet mask,” you complain, but the effect is spoiled from the way your arms find their familiar spot around his neck. By habit your fingers begin to play with the short hairs at the back of his head. It’s a little gesture that you love doing and one that he loves receiving, if the satisfaction on his face is any indication to go by. Hoseok hums and leans in closer to your touch. “You said you wanted some forehead and chill time. Why not start now?” “It only counts if you actually show your forehead.” You smile faintly. His mask is slipping away at the hairline so you smooth out the uneven edges. With delicate fingers you trace the outline of his nose, his cheekbones, all the way down to that jawline he’s so- rightfully- proud of. Cottony sheets and rice water essence can try as they will, but they don’t even come a tenth of the way to disguising your man’s boyishly good looks. “What?” you ask when you see that he’s watching you with a wide smile. “Nothing.” Hoseok shakes his head, still grinning. “I just love you.” He says it as though it’s the only known truth in the world. Four simple words that fall from his lips as easily as the rain falls from the sky during monsoon season. The sun is warm, the ocean is blue, and I love you. No matter how many times he says it you think that you will never tire of hearing it and god, it doesn’t matter how many words exist in the human language because you know that they’ll never come close to describing your feelings for Jung Hoseok. You only stare at him, saying nothing to the man who loves you as much as the sea is wet. Seconds pass like this until finally his smile falters, and he begins to look the slightest bit worried from your silence. “What? Is something the matter? Are you mad that I didn’t warn you about the mask?” “No, of course not,” you tell him, voice softening. The bathroom is a tiny, miniscule space, nearly bursting with towels and a disarray of skincare products and two people who can barely fit on the bathtub rim together, but you can’t think of anywhere else you’d rather be as you rest your head on Hoseok’s shoulder and sigh in contentment. “I just love you, too.”

[glasshalf-something]

I started to tweet “you ever get so high you use almost half a jar of cocoa butter because it feels so good putting it on” but I didn’t because I don’t/can’t/shouldn’t talk about weed on twitter right now. then I thought, what if the part of that tweet that’s actually bad is the part where this white woman talks about using cocoa butter. is that a thing? is that appropriation? can adopting a different skin care routine because you’ve witnessed its effectiveness actually be appropriation? does it make any difference that it’s “cocoa butter lotion” and not pure cocoa butter? I guess the answer to that question is how it affects white people vs brown people, right? like, do I like it because it makes me darker or shinier or whatever it is cocoa butter does to your skin and that makes me more attractive, but at the same time when a brown person is darker or shinier or whatever from using the same cocoa butter, it’s bad/makes them less attractive? that would make it wrong, but otherwise, I think I’m okay with my choices

then I realized I hadn’t even finished rubbing in all that cocoa butter and my brain was running a hundred miles an hour to make this socially conscious monologue in my brain, and I wasn’t even even experiencing the full pleasure of rubbing it all in because I wasn’t fully IN the moment. which led me down a path of marijuana-induced self-enlightenment about how social media is making me a worse person because I now constantly narrate every single thing about my life and wait until something sounds good enough that I can post it somewhere and be validated. maybe if so much of my daily thought processes weren’t being run by the Public Relations Department, I could actually concentrate on rubbing this lotion in and really feeling my body instead of hiding from it and it would be a moment of body acceptance and self love and I would be being my ~true self

so I tried to really do the damn thing, and I really did get into it for a few minutes, but then I had a “"revelation”“again and started narrating myself AGAIN and got mad because it’s a never-ending cycle. Gave up and put on Jackass 2 because that’s the type of absolute garbage I watch before bed. Paused it to make this post though, because of course I did, have you been paying attention at all?

[peppersbian]

10 August 2020

I'm frustrated. I really just feel like no one really cares about me. Or if they do, never as much as I care about others.

I don't even know where to start with this because I'm so upset. It's easy in the head to just chew on thoughts and emotion but it's harder to strighten them out in words. But thats literally the point. Of writing these.

I think a big part of this was Lev. And Nel telling me she's trying to get a date with someone else. I can't really begin to explain how I feel about that because part of me is sad because obviously I'm like madly in love with her or whatever but I also know that this was rlly inevitable BC I'm too much of a lusus to tell her anything and even if I did we do ultimately live on two different continents and crazy different time zones. I guess that specifcally didn't really upset me. But it did really get me thinking about our relationship and interactions.

It really does feel onesided sometimes. Romantic feelings aside. I feel like I'm the one who always imitates conversation and when I do the conversation doesn't last long. I feel like she's just sick of me. And of course I can ask her. Do you think I'm annoying, but the answer is always nooo of course not you're great. But it's hard to feel that reflected sometimes.

And I feel like a lot of our communication issues is just like. Different native languages and shit but that doesn't stop the issues from happening and it certainly doesn't mean I have to be a mind reader and have to be okay with this lack of transparency for me.

But I really do feel like she's just over us. And over the campaign. She said in the past with Leo's leaving how she thought of ending the campaign. And how she felt like it was her fault for not being more active she could've prevented or at least told of the people doing "toxic behavior" which no one was. And even she didn't know which tells me she just didn't even try and look to see what happened. And obviously she didn't even become more active after this event.

If your immediate reaction to a personal dispute is tk end the whole friendship and relationship and everyone interacting with eachother that just means you don't want to be around them. I think. And I've even asked her that. Are you just taking this as a chnace to end the campaign and of course she was like noooo.

That's just what I feel. That's how I'm reading into this.

And I know she's more into Jojo. And I get the whole interact shift. But completely distancing yourself from everyone doesn't seem like just that.

I know from my feelings how shitty everything feels and how honestly the distance has lead to peace. But that. Is from my desire to leave.

I can't help but feel like she wants gone with us. But I feel like I can't ask her because fo course she'll say no when confronted. Because that's her personality to try and please everyone.

And I can't even be mad at this "lack of transparency" because this is just my neutrotic noticing of tiny details. But it's frustrating and anxiety inducing and I kinda hate it.

I guess what kinda hurts us that I like her and love talking to her and being around her and the idea that she wants nothing to do with me and the whole reason we even met just really hurts. I feel insignificant.

Even her aside. I feel like I'm always a second choice and no one actually gets me or tries to. And I know not everyone sees and processes things in the same way I do but god I really do just want someone to notice when I'm not ok and care about me.

I want attention. I want people to care about what I say and do and feel. And I don't think that selfish but I can't ask. Because then that's ingenuine.

Nobody knows me and what I need better than I do but I'm sick of being alone so much. And it's worse right now. If I'm the only person who cares about me or can care about me or can or wants to help me. How come I have such a dislike for myself. Why can't I find it in myself to like my face or my body

I guess I really just want someone to love me th e same way I do other people. With patience and acceptance and dilligence. As a whole. As it just a therapist friend or entertainer or whatever the fuck that get people to generally tolerate interacting with me.

I'm crying. My eyes sting from the face Lotion getting all messed up since it wasn't absorbed yet.

I'm still upset. Even with all this out. I don't feel a sense of peace like the past few nights. I'm goi NV tk try and sleep anywsys. It's 2am. I'm getting better at going to bed earlier. I also tried to clean my room because I actually had energy today. I hope I do tomorrow because my room is a mess again from my feeble attempt.