#but Idt it's too bad if at all
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
itsalwaysdark · 4 months ago
Text
i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
8 notes · View notes
autumnrory · 2 years ago
Text
i figure they’ll drop it in a few eps like they have with everything else but it would be a little funny if after all the barchie vs varchie shit that they just made beronica endgame
26 notes · View notes
nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
Text
sometimes u put yr playlist on shuffle a song comes up and you have to put another song in the queue immediately as soon as it comes on bc it makes you think of that song
#this is abt aura by ghost and pals Sry everytime i hear it im like a fiddle This is just like devil went down to georgia and then i have to#put devil went down to georgia in the queue#i think its a fiddle innit.. it sounds like a fiddle but im also NOTORIOUSLY bad at telling instruments apart. <- guy who once couldnt tell#if something was a guitar or a piano i actually rly rly rly rly dont wanna get into it okay.#i guess you didnt know it but i am a fiddle player too 😏😏#sry. the other thing this post is abt is kiss me and ladies in their sensibilities sweeney. obviously those r connected#but if ladies in their sensibilities comes on by itself i quite literally couldnt be assed so everytime i have to put kiss me on instead an#add lits to the queue. bc them together is like the best song i ever heard its just that the beginning of lits is just kind of boring It#does get stuck i my head sometimes but the supreme part is the end thats Basically just a reprise of kiss me#but also theyre kind of the same song anyways at least o wowww i was just typing in tempo with the fiddle that was awesome. at least on the#2012 soundtrack aka the best one talk to the hand or dont i dont wanna hear it. well i do want to hear it it being the 2012 london cast#recording of sweeney todd starring michael ball and imelda staunton. ANYWAYS!! in that one the songs lead in to eachother#ive listened to all the other soundtracks but idr if they do that.. well ill tell u the movie doesnt bc it doesnt have kiss me. which is#just so. the johanna anthony romance doesnt rly have much substance in the first place and yr taking away like. their duet together. ok....#AND yr taking away the end part of lits? the best part of that song? whatever its fine its fine.#if anybody is curious my ranking of casts is 2012 > obc > movie > 2006 i fucking hate 2006 or 2005 or whatever i hate it sm it makes my#blood literally boil im sry. i fucking LOATHE it idk what it is well i do but this post is already 5000000 years long. idt the new one is#out fully yet... i was ok with the songs i have heard but idk where id rank it yet. i should prolly check if the full things out yet omg so#me and my lampstie (way of saying my siblings name if theres something deeply wrong with you) can listen :]
6 notes · View notes
lesenbyan · 1 year ago
Text
Me, last night: alright, tomorrow I'll get litter boxes and clean my room to see if I can find my missing month of T
Me: proceeds to not sleep bc too hot (???) and sinuses
Me: spends all day sipping tea and taking a bath and Suffering
2 notes · View notes
hardyorange · 5 months ago
Text
I see some folks worrying that public schools may be "just as bad" for bullying and abuse, and the thing about public schools that especially reduces the potential for abuse is that students aren't kept isolated with one or two adults 24/7; elementary kids my have one classroom teacher, but there are often assistant teachers and administrators in and out of the classroom, nutrition staff in the cafeteria for lunch (and breakfast if they get it at school), more admin and other teachers waving at kids as they arrive and leave for the day, and even sometimes extra teachers dedicated to physical education/sports and probably language (typically Spanish here in the US)
while maybe a student is around a malicious teacher for a majority of the day, any sort of physical abuse is fully illegal and would almost certainly occur in front of the rest of the class and thus have witnesses, as compared to at home where some amount of hitting is often legal if done by parents to their kids and there's never a witness or someone interrupting; plus, students get new teachers every year, and then start having multiple teachers throughout the day in middle and high school, so an abusive teacher won't be around their victim for nearly as long as parents are around their kids
plus, schools have gotten better about recognizing the complex forms bullying can take, so now it is a real story when someone posts about their kid being bullied at school because it's become far more rare, and again students are around each other less and less as they progress through the grades
now, the biggest concern does remain students with exceptional needs who are in specialized ("self-contained") classrooms with the same teachers all day, but providing individualized care to students with significant physical and congnitive disabilities is a separate conversation imo because there are so many more circumstances to consider
I was homeschooled and went to private and public schools because my parents had to make up for my local public school district being a mess when I was the age to attend there (they lost their accreditation entirely for a while), and I have now worked in three different public high schools, and while I have seen some students struggling with not getting along with some students or teachers, I've seen way more of students (and jaded teenagers at that!) running to go hug their favorite teacher even as that teacher is telling them off for breaking dress code, or asking to borrow a pencil from the teacher whose subject they hate, or complimenting their classmate who is a bit shy, or just in general giving off every sign that while they may not love writing essays or solving equations, they're actually relatively happy to come to school and experience the offline world outside of their house
I have known homeschooled ppl who were better off for it over a public school education. I have met kelsey tuoc, and i am fully willing to believe her kids are better served by it than by a more ordinary education. I am willing to support (some) parents in their decision to homeschool their kids, and there are many circumstances where i think it is individually the best option
But, politically, the homeschool lobby needs to be broken by force and the institution of homeschooling needs to be abolished. Especially in many us jurisdictions, where homeschooling is minimally regulated, it is just an obvious magnet for child abusers with a horrifying body count. I am fully willing to believe there were ppl whose experiences on the rides at action park were magical and irreplaceable, doesnt change the fact it needed to die
982 notes · View notes
junpcs · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
started thinking about how cléo dealt with her giant scandal really depended on the environment she was in again ,, really do think it doesn’t get as bad in the atz timeline bc the older figure she gets attached to isn’t the leader ? bc with chan it’s like. well of course he would have to shoulder that kind of responsibility he has to. and it would kind of ruin their relationship because despite wanting to confide in him she knows he has to think about the group image and a billion other factors to keep her and the group afloat and it would make her feel terrible for burdening him. whereas with hwa, despite being the oldest he doesn’t really shoulder that kind of responsibility ? like yeah they joke around and call him mom and all that but it doesn’t feel like she’s putting everything on the line. plus the fact that she doesn’t go through trainee trauma with any of ateez and they didn’t see first hand how much the negativity from the survival show got to her lmao…. so i think she would be more comfortable confiding in hwa than with chan. mm mm mm.
1 note · View note
woodsborostabathon · 4 months ago
Text
if there is sibcon potential between any pair of canon siblings in the scream sequels i can say w 100% certainty that i have pondered it at least once. i may not ship most of the potential ones tbh but i HAVE pondered them! bc it’s not hard to do when it’s like (5) of them and ur starved for it 😭
1 note · View note
seiwas · 10 months ago
Note
Oof a jealous Katsuki bc of shout 🥰 say less
it’s what my dreams are made of nonie
1 note · View note
hardyorange · 2 years ago
Video
To be fair, sheep will do the exact same thing, if you've put a new gate in where there used to be a fence!
My mom was a shepherd out in Oklahoma, and the day they put a new gate in and tried to have the dogs herd the flock through it, they all bunched up in front of it as if it were still there. She had to belly crawl her way over the top of the flock to get to the open gate, and then started tugging them one-by-one across the new threshold. Once she had ten or so through the gate, the rest of the flock started to follow... by trotting up to the opening and giving their best leap (of a few inches) "over" where the fence used to be but was now completely open air.
She says it took about a week before the whole flock would use the gate normally!
When you try to fit in
(via)
34K notes · View notes
itsalwaysdark · 5 months ago
Text
i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
0 notes
autumnrory · 2 years ago
Text
i am determined to either stay in bed and try to sleep more tomorrow or if i have to get up and eat then i'll crawl back into bed after that bc i'm just. i'm so exhausted.
0 notes
mcytegg · 23 days ago
Text
Mapicc: Where's— where is his team, y'know?
Zam: His team is like, Rekrap and Jumper. And yeah neither of them really log on so...
Mapicc: Yeah, but where?
Zam: I don't know. Yeah, it's whatever, gg.
the clip where zam, thinking ro has joined the empire, laughs abt him not sticking w his team (yet again)
#prince zam#mapicc#video#lifesteal spoilers#kinda bc im gonna be talking abt stuff in the tags as always LOL#anyways this feels applicable to todays situation huh#w how mapicc doesnt feel like he has a team rn#bc where is the empire?#minute is doing a solo project. chief plays w other people. spoke and jepexx are gone.#mapicc has zam but theyll both always prioritize their own teams bc they feel like their teams need them#and they dont feel needed by each other even tho thats obviously not true like#idek#idt mapicc considers the sticklers all that much of a team#or at least he barely considers rek and jumper like actual teammates of ro's bc they never do anything together#cause like theyre almost worse than the empire in how they just dont login or even play as a team#and when they do login its for personal projects that dont include their teammates before they leave again#like jumper w her bases rek w the tunnels and ro w the invis thing#but mapicc only cares abt ro between the three of them and he knows ro is like him. he likes doing things w his team as a team#so here hes able to recognize that jumper and rek are barely teammates to ro bc he himself like barely feels like#he even has the empire bc they dont ever rly play the server or make him feel like he HAS a team#like ya they do some stuff together ocassionally but he still. feels alone. isolated. like he doesnt have anyone.#idk ill stop now bc if i get too into talking abt dualities or devotions ill cry#also rip the clip quality i didnt realize how bad tumblr cooked clips from my older phone LOL oopsies
30 notes · View notes
songmingisthighs · 6 months ago
Text
My, My, Mine
group : ateez
pairing : jealous, dom!san × reader
genre : smut, pwp, requested
wc : 3.6 k
warning : mdni, possessive!san, mentions of patriarchal upbringing, san trying to exert his dominance in the relationship, san calling mc basically slutty or a hoe but not in those words, drunken sex (so maybe kinda dubcon-ish ??? is it ??), explicit sex (bondage, denied orgasm, sadism ?? idk man, san being a meanie, mc being whiny despite g0rl power, slight dacryphilia ?? big man likes whiny crybabies, multiple orgasm, degradation, filming while having sex (you've been warned), creampie, and more idk i can't list all of them but if you think i should list more as like warning, please lmk !)
a/n : idt i've written any san smut (other than the debauchery that was ignominy) so I'm excited for this request ! i had this in my wip for quite a while and I'm FINALLY finishing it !!!
a/a/n : sorry this took a while, I had to get in the right mood for this lmaooooo hope you enjoy it !
a/a/a/n : ALSO HAPPY SANI DAY !!!
buy me coffee ?
Tumblr media
It hadn't been that long since you and San started dating and it was quite the adjustment.
On one hand, you loved him dearly, he and all of his adorable quirks. But San, as he was raised quite conservatively by a strong, patriarchal figure, had managed to show some of the traits. Sure, you could get used to having things paid for you despite it making you feel like a burden, but having to argue with San in public when he insisted that he should be the one carrying all of your things or even waiting for you at your office's lobby when he's available so he'd be able to accompany you home was not something you like. So you both adjusted. Or tried to.
You didn't realize the extent of his views until you went to a girls' night.
During the whole time, San kept texting you about your whereabouts, reminding you not to drink too much. You'd answer once or twice but for every answer you gave, he sent five more texts and it was getting rather annoying. You realized he meant well but the way he was doing it was making it seem like he thought you were an incapable idiot who was going to need him, your knight in shining armour, to rescue you from the bad bad men of this world. You had gone through life just fine without him before and you were not some dumbass.
The realization that the alcohol in your system was stirring your emotions should have been enough to get you to sober up especially knowing that San was staying over to take care of you (a compromise you begrudgingly accepted). But your friends were egging you on and you knew that you didn't want to face San without some liquid courage. It was high time you took him down a peg. Or peg him down. Whichever comes first.
"Honey, I'm home," you slurred, giggling when you got through your front door and started taking off your shoes.
There were shuffles and soon San's voice rang through your ears. "Baby! I missed you! Where-" the words died in San's mouth when he saw the state you were in, or more specifically, the clothes you were wearing. "What the hell?" he asked, standing at a distance looking at you with disbelief in his eyes that you couldn't notice because you were too intoxicated to be aware of your surroundings. "Sannie," You giggled, stumbling to your boyfriend after you shrugged off your coat to the floor to ask for a hug. San still accepted your hug but he was oddly quiet, his eyes hard, and his fists were balled around your waist.
"I'm home now, Sannie!" you were still giggling as you started peppering San's face with kisses. It was then that San smelled the heavy alcohol in your breath which made him cringe and push you back slightly, "What in God's name have you been doing?" Then his eyes travelled down to your clothes, "And what is with this outfit?"
You immediately recognized the tone that he was using on you and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at him, "I told you I was going to a girls' night at the club and obviously this outfit is amazing because the bartender gave me 2 free shots!" you excitedly said. San reeled back and crossed his arms on his chest, "You mean to tell me you flirted for free drinks?" it took you a moment to answer but you shook your head, "Didn't have to flirt, he saw me in this outfit and he just showed his appreciation. It was no big deal," you shrugged and you tried pushing past him but he easily stopped you by blocking your path. "(y/n), I have to tell you I'm not comfortable with this. It kind of seems like you were selling your dignity so cheaply. As your boyfriend-" "Whoah, go back to you accusing me of being a hoe," you cut him off. San's eyebrows furrowed and he immediately defended himself, "I didn't call you a hoe, I'm just stating that I am not okay with my girlfriend wearing something so short, skimpy, and revealing just so she wouldn't have to pay for her drinks!" he stated.
Truthfully, San didn't have much problem with how you dress. He actually thought that you looked absolutely hot. Hell, he bought you the damn dress when he thought that you were going to wear it when you go out with him. He trusted you completely but what he couldn't trust were the rest 99% of the population who might do something bad to you when you're intoxicated in clothes that for lack of a better word, provided a lot of access. Something bad like what he wanted to do to you when he first saw that dress which was to rip your panties in two, fuck you in the dressing room, stuff you full of cum, and make you keep them safe until you both went home so he can eat the cum out of you.
Had you been sober, you could've agreed with the part about your dress being short, skimpy, and revealing because you had spent the better part of the night trying to not bend down and making sure that when you were dancing, you were shielded by your girlfriends. But the implication still didn't sit right with you and the fact that San was using the boyfriend card ticked you off.
"You're my boyfriend San, not my owner or my master. I'm still my own person and had I flashed a tit or two to get free shit, I should be able to! I get to decide what I get and what I don't get," you huffed and tried pushing past him.
Your steps halted when San shot his hand out and placed it on your chest, his fingers rigid on your collarbones and when you looked into his eyes, there was a glint of darkness and lust that made you shudder.
"Is that how it is, little Miss Independent? You really think you're in charge of whatever you get, big girl?" he smirked, voice lowering down and it was then did you realize, even through your drunken haze, that you were fucked. Or going to be. Hard.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
All hopes of your friend borrowing your dress were shattered and you had to break the news to her because right now, that dress was being used to tie your hands together behind your back while San had you on top of him, connecting his face with your pussy as he did his best to draw your third orgasm.
"Aww look at you," San chuckled darkly against your pussy, "Big girl can't handle two orgasms in a row?" The spank he delivered on your ass made your knees slip and allowed your whole weight to fall on San who happily accepted being suffocated by your sweet cunt. "S-San," you whimpered, trying to relieve the overstimulation by lifting your hips only to receive a guttural growl from below as his strong arms snaked around your thighs to ensure that you wouldn't be able to escape him. "San, please stop, it's too much" you whimpered while still trying to get out of his grip. Your senses had returned after the first orgasm when San managed to flush the alcohol out of you somehow only for it to be thrown back into a haze when he was working on your second.
Tired of your whining, San flipped you both over and allowed you a moment to breathe. Although it was hard what with the way your cunt was still throbbing and your heart still beating wildly in your chest. Despite his annoyance, San found your sprawled figure to be very delectable what with your flushed and warm skin, rising chest, and pussy glistening with sweat, spit, and arousal, making it seem like it was inviting him in again.
San grabbed your legs and pried them open, allowing him to glare at your pulsing entrance with eyes clouded in desire. "I thought big, independent girls wouldn't have to whine and beg like needy little bitches? Where's the confidence you used to get free drinks from cheap losers?" you somehow managed to lift your head to look at San who had his eyes now locked on yours as he leaned down close to your aching core, "Where's the confidence you used to allow people to think you're not spoken for?" Your back was arched and your jaw unhinged when San licked a fat, long stripe from your peritoneum up to your clit at an agonizingly slow speed. It was as if he wanted you to feel every single bit of movement he made that effectively drove your mind into overdrive. You felt your legs start to shake when he plunged three fingers into your leaking hole after spitting on your cunt, hitting your sensitive clit that he used as a bullseye.
The smug look on his face as he watch you writhe from overstimulation shouldn't turn you on so much but the way you physically reacted betrayed you completely as it chased for more of San, whatever he was willing to give you.
"You're a jerk," you whimpered through teary eyes. Though your voice was getting hoarse from the night out which was followed by him overstimulating you to high heavens, San could hear you loud and clear. "I thought you like getting attention?" San scoffed, pausing to him slapping you harshly on your cunt which caused your body to jolt at the impact, "That's why you were dressed like that, right? I'm just being a supportive boyfriend and helping you practice." The insinuation pissed you off and despite your struggling, you tried to get yourself up and away from him (and failing rather miserably), "I dressed like that for myself you possessive jerk," "Oh, so the lack of panties was what, for health?" When you couldn't answer him, he knew he got you dead on and being proud of himself, he smirked and pulled himself off of you and the bed. The sudden void he left caused you to almost whine out loud, brain forgetting that you were somewhat mad at him.
San came back to the bed completely naked and holding your phone. Immediately, he positioned you flat on your back and his thick thighs pushed onto your own firmly so you were basically folded. Your breath hitched when you felt his cock resting against your sensitive cunt a bit too casually. The skin-on-skin contact allowed you to feel how hot it felt and the way it pleasured you when it rubbed against you every time San made even the slightest movement. "You can say whatever you want and I'll do whatever I want. Seems fair, doesn't it?" Your heart beat quicker and harder in your chest simply from the way he hinted at his plan. "What are you going to do?" You asked, swallowing the nervous lump in your throat. San only raised a cocky eyebrow, not even bothering to answer you properly and just simply tapping away on your phone. You had even considered that he might have contacted one of your friends or worse, call them before he fucked you.
But San didn't give you enough time to overthink because, in a moment's time, San flipped your phone sideways, pressed a button, and started pushing inside you. Your eyes watered again from the stretch and even though you were well-lubricated thanks to San's torture on your cunt earlier and also his spit, his size didn't make things easier for you. His cock glided smoothly but your muscles tensed up from the sudden intrusion, slowing his pace a bit and restricting him from being too rough. "Look at Miss Independence breaking down over her boyfriend's cock like a common whore," he chuckled darkly, relishing in the way you whimpered his name and your body arching in pleasure at the feeling of him, "Come on baby, show the camera how you're in charge of everything you get or don't get," he mocked. You were sure that your tears were not just from being overstimulated but also from the humiliation. You were a proud woman who could confidently say that you have never let a man use you even if he tried. But there you were on your back, hands tied, and mind fuzzy, hyper-aware of the way your body just submitted to San's every whim, betraying your better judgment that was still screaming for you to push him off and make him get a taste of his own medicine. But of course, your body was as stubborn as your mind as it refused to go against San.
"San, put away the camera," you whined, turning away from the camera only to have San grab your cheeks in one free hand and force you to look back at him. "Why should I? If you want me to stop, then do it yourself. Take the camera away from me," he smirked as he adjusted his knees so he could start rolling his hips into yours, creating a steady rhythm.
From the screen, he could see the way you glared at him as his words, knowing full well that although he had challenged you to do something you could absolutely not do anything due to the fact that your hands were bound behind your back. Had it been any other circumstance, San would tell you how turned on he was with you at that moment. The way tears made your eyes seem like they were glittering, the way your cheeks were puffed and flushed from frustration, and the way your body was opened up for him to use. The fire between you two was one of the things that San loved.
"Come on, (y/n), show the camera what you can do," he egged, thrusting harshly into you which elicited a high-pitched squeal from your lips. "Fuck you," you whimpered but you did as he told as you began fucking yourself back and instead of matching his pace, you fucked yourself on his cock quicker, convincing yourself that it was, in a way, you taking charge over him. Though, the satisfied look on San's face, paired with the way he licked his bottom lip as he pointed the camera to where you two were connected, proved you otherwise. "I can get fucked if I want to, I control what I get," you stated albeit slightly unconvincingly as your quivering bottom lip served as a dead giveaway. "Of course you do," San cooed mockingly before his free hand dropped to between your legs to spread your pussy lips apart, allowing the camera to capture the way your cunt was swallowing him so greedily.
There was a mischievous glint in his eyes when he saw your cunt pulsing and his head was running wild with filthy ideas. "Baby, I wanna breed you so bad so people would know who you belong to," Your breath hitched when his handsome face contorted into a chesire-like grin and your so-called control was stolen as quickly as you got it. "You're not gonna do shit to me San, I mean it," at this point, your defiance was more like a facade because you wanted what he was offering but your pride wanted to twist it around. San moved his hips quickly, greedily taking all of the pleasure he could get out of you. "Fuck, my big girl is gonna get creamed," he chuckled darkly, fucking you as he tried to keep the camera still to capture everything, particularly the way your cunt leaked so much arousal that his own crotch was wet with the transferred slick.
Your body was being used so well that your limbs (the free ones at least, which were your legs) were flailing about slightly. "Stupid little baby wants to have control when she can't even control her legs, she's fucked so stupid," he teased as you whined in protest, wanting to prove him wrong. So despite the weakness in your legs from the ministrations, you shifted your body around so that you were on your side and your legs were crossed over the other. The new position trapped San's cock inside you and the sensation of his cock being trapped halted his movements mid-way and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as a guttural groan echoed in your ears. You took his response as a mini triumph. "Fuck, you got tighter," he shuddered, body shaking as he took a shaky breath, "Were you trying to snap my dick off?" You feigned innocence as you began rocking your hips again, "Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe if I snap your dick off it'll become mine," you smirked. "You conniving slut."
No longer caring about the camera, San tossed your phone to the side and started pounding into you in a pace that was animalistic. "F-fuck- Aah! San!" you squealed when he planted his left foot firmly on the bed and pounded harder as if he was trying to destroy your insides.
"Say you won't go out dressed like that again," he demanded, face planted on your chest as his abuse of your cunt continued. He began nipping, kissing, biting, and licking all over the skin of your breast and it almost succeeded in clouding your mind into absolute submission due to pleasure. But you managed to firmly shook your head, "I'll wear whatever the fuck I want, I'll do whatever I want!" you answered between harsh pants and heavy breathing.
You heard San click his tongue before he ripped himself off of you in a flash, leaving you on the edge of orgasm and cold. "What the fuck!?" you whined, instinctively trying to get up to chase after San but your bound hands prevented you from moving easily.
San tilted his head and mockingly pouted, "If you can do whatever you want then so can I, baby." Your eyes zeroed in on his hand that jacked his hard, leaking cock and you knew well enough that it wouldn't take him much to cum at that point. Despite his treatment towards you, you wanted his cum, you wanted his cum inside you. "San, you get back here and fuck me!" you scream-whined, desperate to find release.
Hearing your demand, San went back onto the bed and got closer to you. For a moment, you thought San was going back to fucking you but he simply slapped his cock on your face, taunting you. "You want me to fuck you now? I thought you were in charge of yourself," he smirked, rubbing the tip of his cock on your skin, leaving a trail of precum mixed with what was left of your arousal. You held yourself back from using your mouth to chase his cock but your sexual frustration was at its peak and it was at that moment that your resolve broke and you whined. "Sannie, please fuck me, make me cum and then breed me so other guys won't even get close to me, please, please."
That seemed to satisfy San because his next move was to finally release your hands from the hold of the makeshift handcuffs and flip you over so you were on top of him. The pooling slick allowed him to slip inside you rather easily and once he was buried inside, you let out a gasp. "Ride me," San demanded, eyes fixated on you and hands on your hips firmly. San's words barely concluded before you started fucking yourself on his cock, letting out all the frustration both sexual and emotional from the whole bullshit. You anchored yourself on San's broad chest and used him to chase your own release.
"Yeah baby, do it, fuck yourself on me. Use my cock like the big girl that you are," San goaded, smirking and panting from the feeling of your cunt hugging his cock so tightly. "T-told you I'm i-in charge," you panted, throwing your head back as the pleasure ran through your body like electric shocks, making you tingly all over. "Sure you are, baby," San groaned when he felt his release coming.
With one swift swivel of your hips, your body tensed, legs clamped and your orgasm broke like a wave crashing. "Fuck!" you squealed, a couple of tears fell down your face as your body fell backwards without detaching your core from San. Seeing you in your own state of ecstasy, San sat up and shuffled around so he could have his chance chasing his high with you. You were in such a state of blissful release and satisfaction that when San started to overstimulate you once again with his cock, all you could do was groan and turn, trying to get away from him half-heartedly. "I'm cumming inside you, okay? I'm gonna paint you with my seed," San panted into your ear as his lips nipped at the skin, causing the area to tingle and you to whimper as you nodded weakly.
It didn't take long for San to cum inside you, fulfilling his previous promise. He let out a low, breathy moan that got your cunt clenching as he rode his release, making sure that his cum was not wasted and was kept inside you.
Neither of you spoke as you tried catching your breaths, still trying to cool down from the rigorous activity and for you specifically, your mind too far gone to recover so quickly. San momentarily peeked at the edge of the bed, particularly at your ruined dress and couldn't help but smirk, thinking that at least he had one problem done.
network :
@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet
permalist :
@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread
915 notes · View notes
terriblegam2r · 1 year ago
Text
Can we bring up the fact that Laszlo, up until this point, has never been interested in Guillermo (that wasn't out of boredom, necessity or putting him down - I'm talking genuine interest (and dare I say slight concern?) in him), or literally anything he had to say or what he did throughout the day. Not even once. But here Laszlo is, constantly bringing up the topic of Guillermo's seemingly odd behavior to the other vampires - also showcasing that he's paid enough attention to him to where he can recognize that Guillermo's not acting like his usual~ self. I also noticed that Laszlo praised Guillermo's familiar duties (has he ever complimented him before? Idts) and proclaimed to Nandor on his own that he agreed with Guillermo that Nandor was using hypnosis too much. He even said "Ah! There he is." to himself when Guillermo showed up after he and Nandor met up with Nadja after they got out of jail, meaning that he was still thinking of Guillermo even when he was hanging out with Sean and Nandor and after all the crazy excitement that happened that night. And in the end it turned out that he kind of was concerned about Guillermo because he told him he pretty much thought he had a bad stomach ache and wanted to tell him to be careful about what he eats. Aww.
I think Laszlo co-parenting with Guillermo towards baby Colin Robinson last season sparked an interest (and respect) in Guillermo, and I love finally seeing their relationship develop, and I look forward to seeing them bond more this season (even if it is baby steps lol But in a way it's the total opposite because Laszlo has never talked about/to Guillermo this much in one season before, much less the series as a whole, and I am loving every second of it).
1K notes · View notes
yerimbrit · 9 months ago
Text
something new : n. kazuha
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis: the five times your confession to kazuha was interrupted, and the one time it wasn't
# : pairing ! nonidol!nakamura kazuha x gn!reader
# : tags ! friends to lovers, ao3 5+1 trope, but there's some interludes, zuha's JUSTTT a little dense, the fimmies are your wingwomen, so is giselle and ningning from aespa, hs!au, crack, mentions of karina and winter too, in the end they are just two lovesick fools
# : wordcount ! 8.4k
# : warnings ! the usual swearing idt i'll be putting warnings for them anym
Tumblr media
"just tell her you like her," chaewon said, taking a bite of her salad, "i don't understand why you haven't."
you groaned in response. obviously chaewon didn't understand that what she was suggesting was exactly what you'd been trying to do since the beginning of time. emphasis on trying.
it wasn't your fault that kazuha was absolutely, terribly, agonizingly oblivious to your confessions to her—or at least your attempts to confess to her.
a sympathetic hand patted you on the shoulder, and you looked up to see sakura, who placed her tray on the cafeteria table. "attempts have been made, chae. that's exactly why they're complaining for the, i don't know, 100th time."
chaewon kicked sakura's foot under the table.
"whatcha guys talking about?" asked eunchae, who had just taken her seat next to you at the table. you only buried your face into your arms.
"y/n's just mad that kazuha can't take a hint," snickered chaewon.
sakura nodded, tapping your cheek so she could feed you a spoonful of rice. "kazuha's really dense."
"sometimes i can't tell if she's joking or not whenever i try."
you thought back to the last few times you confessed, shuddering. the most recent one was equally as bad as the previous ones. it was like everything never went your way at the worst times.
("kazuha, i like you," you said, holding both of the girl's hands in yours, looking into her eyes with your tired, but determined eyes.
her eyes widened, and you thought maybe, just maybe, she finally understood what you were saying. at this point, you didn't even care if she rejected you. despite the heartache it would bring you, at least she would know about your feelings.
"i like you too!" she said excitedly, and you perked up in disbelief. wow, today really was your lucky da—
she brought you into a tight hug. and the worst possible words she could've said, were said: "you're my best friend! i like you a lot!")
the bell rang after that, so you couldn't explain to her that you liked her as more than that, because the two of you were at the entrance of the gym, and kazuha's next class was on the third floor of the main building.
eunchae hummed thoughtfully, finger on her lip. then, she gasped, enlightened.
"i have an idea."
she ushered the three of you closer, all of you leaning forward to huddle in the middle of the table. you would've laughed how ridiculous you looked, but what eunchae whispered to the group was even more ridiculous.
"that's not going to work," you refused, adamantly shaking your head.
chaewon, sakura, and eunchae shared a knowing look.
"it doesn't hurt to try, y/nnie," laughed chaewon.
eunchae chimed in, "exactly! what if it does work?"
you furrowed your eyebrows, not liking what the girls were up to. "but—"
"let's try it, y/n." sakura smiled, looking at you with deadpan eyes. you knew those eyes. and those eyes meant that you weren't getting out of this situation. deflating, you lowered your head.
"okay."
Tumblr media
1. eunchae's idea: fall into her arms and confess (like in a romcom!) (romcoms are romcoms for a reason, eunchae.) (shut up!)
"please work, please work, please work," you chanted to yourself, tightly shutting your eyes and waiting for "the signal" from eunchae and chaewon. what the signal was, you didn't know. but you trusted your friends... maybe.
the sound of yunjin's boisterous laughter, and kazuha's quieter giggles echoed through the school hallway filled with hundreds of lockers, and you peeked from behind the corner to get a glimpse of the two. your eyes fearfully darted around in search of eunchae, because this was her idea, only to be pushed from behind by someone into the hallway that your incoming target was walking through.
"y/n! look out!" shouted eunchae, and you grimaced. 'that was their cue?'
then, you yelped, tripping over your own feet, because silly old you forgot to tie your own shoelaces. scrunching up your face, you prepared yourself for the inevitable faceplant you were about to do, and the next failure in your endeavor to tell kazuha your feelings.
"woah! are you okay, y/n?" a worried voice called. wait. that wasn't the cold hard floor you thought you were going to embrace.
'kazuha?' you thought, until you opened your eyes and saw a few long strands of dyed orange hair, following them up to the frowning face of huh yunjin, kazuha's best friend. but not kazuha.
squirming out of yunjin's secure grip, you widened your eyes, panicking. your gaze switched between the two volleyball players frantically. they both stared at you with a concerned look.
"i'm sorry!" you exclaimed, bowing so low you could see sakura's shocked face just behind you in the hall, then turning around and dashing to drag sakura with you anywhere but where you just embarrassed yourself.
kazuha called after you, hands cupped around her mouth, but you were already long gone.
"what was that about?" yunjin asked, looking to the japanese girl next to her for an answer. kazuha shrugged and sighed.
"wish i knew."
Tumblr media
"what the hell, eunchae, you said it would work!" you complained into your pillow. said girl was using your back to hold up her phone, which was playing an episode of single's inferno. chaewon sat next to her, more invested in the show than whatever you had going on.
the youngest pouted, jabbing her finger into your shoulder, earning her a grunt and a slap on the knee from you.
"well it would've worked if yunjin-unnie wasn't there," she whined in defense. she was right, but you didn't want to admit that, for the sake of your pride.
chaewon giggled. "it was pretty funny, though. at least you didn't hurt yourself."
your head, which was previously buried in your pillow, whipped around to shoot a menacing glare at the two chaes, lifting your hand to point an accusing finger at both of them.
"speaking of which, where were you guys?! i swear you ran off as soon as you yelled at me to watch out," you said, dropping your arm back onto your bed. eunchae and chaewon glanced at each other, then turned back to you, obnoxiously shrugging their shoulders in sync.
before you could get up and tackle your friends in a much-deserved tickle session, the door to your room creaked open, revealing sakura, and behind her, yunjin.
"why is it always you three? behave," sakura scolded, disappointment evident in her tone.
"sorry, sakura-unnie." "sorry, kkura-unnie..."
chaewon lightly slapped your back.
"ow!" you groaned, rubbing the affected area. she gave you a look, and you hesitantly turned around to look at the eldest girl.
"sorry, kkura-unnie."
sakura sighed, shaking her head. she set her book bag down by the foot of your desk, taking a seat on your swivel chair. yunjin sat on your fluffy rug, leaning her back against the bedframe.
you and yunjin were friends. she'd been over before, with kazuha, and would often join you and your friend group's movie nights. her open-minded personality allowed your conversations to jump topics, making every exchange interesting. although you weren't as close to her as kazuha was, you knew you could always come to her for advice, next to sakura.
yunjin and kazuha were both on the volleyball team. that's how the two of them met: during varsity tryouts, both of them called to receive the spike hit by yujin, a fellow freshman. in that short moment in between, neither of them moved to bump the ball, so it ended up bouncing on the court, resulting in a point scored by yujin. kazuha treated yunjin to an ice cream after practice as an apology, and the two of them hit it off.
aside from the volleyball-campfire-tryout fiasco with kazuha, yunjin was also close with chaewon, sharing multiple classes with her. the two usually gossiped over the recent transfer students, something mr. park did again, or how yet another girl fell victim to star basketball player lee heeseung and his playboy charms.
with eunchae, yunjin treated her as if she were her little sister. from babying her (to which eunchae grumbled about, saying that she was "grown now", but you all knew she secretly adored the older girl) to taking her out on spontaneous hangouts to give her a refreshing experience of the outside world. her and sakura bonded over it, taking care of the youngest together.
you cleared your throat, sitting up and pulling your knees close to your chest. "so, why is yunjin here?"
as you sat up, eunchae's phone fell off your back, and the two watchers both frowned. single's inferno could wait.
"because we forgot to tell her about the plan," sakura said in a matter-of-fact tone.
you cursed in your head. maybe if she was let in on the plan, you would've succeeded, and you wouldn't have to try to confess again.
"speaking of plans," chaewon raised her hand, imitating a student about to ask a question. you snorted, and pointed at her, allowing her to speak again.
she nodded at you, a grin spreading on her face. "it's raining in two days, on friday. zuha usually walks with you after school every other day, right y/n?"
you nodded slowly, making a 'hurry-up' gesture with your hand. she rolled her eyes.
"since she's walking with you, why don't you go ahead and share an umbrella? that could be the perfect opportunity for you to tell her."
("hold on, she's cooking."
"stop learning from yunjin, please eunchae."
"what do i have to do with this!?")
"you know what. that doesn't sound that bad, coming from you," you said, not caring that you just casually threw some shade at chaewon.
"hey, what's that supposed to mean!"
Tumblr media
2. chaewon's idea: share an umbrella under the showers of afternoon spring rain
"it's raining," kazuha pouted, holding her hand out to feel the rain landing on her fingers.
you gulped. this was it.
"y-yeah, it is," you nervously giggled, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants.
the girl beside you hummed, and glanced at you. "should we wait for it to stop?"
hearing her words, you fumbled around for the umbrella in your schoolbag. "it's, it's okay. i have an umbrella," you held the object up to her once you finally found it, "see?"
"oh," she simply nodded, stretching her hand out for you to give to her.
the two of you started walking into the onslaught of rain. kazuha's shoulder started getting wet, and you hurriedly grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to you.
"you'll get sick, dummy," you nagged, a pout on your face. she pinched your cheek and smiled, not making a move to pull away from your hold. butterflies swarmed your stomach.
"it's okay! as long as you stay dry."
damn this girl. why did you have to fall for someone who's so dense? after all these years of trying (and failing) to get your crush to acknowledge your romantic feelings toward her, she still didn't get it?
under your umbrella, the two of you were closer than ever. today was the first day of spring, though instead of warm sunshine, there was the pouring rain. winter felt like it had yet to say goodbye.
the cold air blew at your legs as kazuha maneuvered you around deep puddles on the paved sidewalk, careful not to have you step in one knowing you hated having wet socks.
when you realized what she was doing you flushed, heart accelerating at unnatural speeds, and you suddenly forgot how to breathe when you thought about confessing. the sensation came every time you confessed, but for some reason, this time it was ten times worse.
'okay, focus.' you tried to calm your breathing, taking deep breaths and squeezing kazuha's arm tighter.
the girl turned to you with a questioning look. "something wrong?"
you quickly shook your head and directed your gaze to the ground. you didn't know why you were struggling so much today. maybe it was the pouring rain, or maybe it was the fact you were so close together. maybe it was how she always earnestly took your interests to heart, or maybe...
suddenly, a rushing car zoomed past both of you, speeding over a large puddle. before you could even blink, kazuha switched her umbrella to the other hand, and pulled you into the safer side of the sidewalk, bracing herself for the impact of the puddle water soaking her jacket and uniform.
your heart stopped when she moved you, not processing what was happening. all you knew was that kazuha unexpectedly grabbed you and yanked you away, and now she was soaking wet.
you stammered, "are- are you okay?! wha... you're soaked! why'd you do that?"
the girl took a moment to catch her breath, slightly hunching over while still covering your head with the umbrella. your heart ached. ever so caring, kazuha was. even after she got drenched with rainwater (you cursed the car in your head), she was still making an effort to protect you from the rain.
kazuha gulped, her throat bobbing up and down. then, she stood up straight and looked at you, concern pooling in her eyes.
"are you okay? you're not hurt, are you?" she asked, trying to find any discomfort you could've showed.
you furrowed your eyebrows. was she being serious? she got splashed with water, to... to protect you! and now her favorite zip-up hoodie was ruined, and her uniform skirt was still dripping, and, you shuddered, her shoes and socks were wet. all because she wanted to keep you safe and dry.
you almost cried right then and there. how could you not like her?
"i'm okay. don't worry about me... but now you're all wet," you pointed out, "you can change at my house, i think you still have some clothes in my closet."
she hummed, face melting into a closed-eye smile, making you want to cup her cheeks and just kiss her like you'd always wanted.
you resume walking, your arm automatically looping with hers again, even though she told you that you would also get wet. the two of you fell back into a rhythm of avoiding puddles and making small talk in between. you almost forgot you were going to confess.
you looked around your surroundings, playing with your phone charm inside your jacket pocket. it was always something you did when you were nervous, to fidget with something. the dangly charm you bought with your friends on your class trip to jeju island was the more recent addition to the list.
"um, zuha?" you hesitantly started, "i actually do have something on my mind."
the japanese girl widened her eyes and nodded. "what's up, you feeling okay?"
her caring nature made it harder for you to confess. and now things you thought during the first few confessions were cycling through your mind again. what if she didn't like you like you did? what if you stopped being friends? would she be disgusted?
you swallowed the anxiety down, and took a few deep breaths for extra measure. "for a long time now, i-"
"ha! how you like that! you-" kazuha's ringtone went off, interrupting your (almost) confession. she frowned and put it on silent, then glancing back at you so you could finish what you were saying. more anxiety bubbled up.
"i-"
"ha! ho-"
groaning, she flashed you an apologetic smile and pressed the accept button on her phone. you stood there awkwardly and defeatedly, choosing to pass the time by looking around your surroundings. it took you a few moments to realize that you were already standing at the driveway of your own house.
when did that happen?
"seriously? ah, come on. i've already walked," kazuha grumbled to the person on the other side of the line. you'd already let go of her arm when she answered the call, unaware of your crush's disappointed eyes at your actions.
"okay, fine. why didn't anyone tell me?" she irritatedly asked. "no i didn't get the email, yujin, you know i barely check it."
after a few more lines exchanged between kazuha and the other person, (who you knew now was yujin) the japanese girl hung up with a tired sigh.
"y/n, i'm sorry, i can't stay this time. coach kang moved tomorrow's weekend scrimmage to today because she's visiting her dad tomorrow."
you could only sink your shoulders in dismay. "ah..."
there goes your confession. again.
"you should take the umbrella with you though. we're already here," you gestured to your doorway, "at my house."
kazuha pursed her lips and nodded.
"let me at least walk you to the door."
"okay."
this time, you didn't make an effort to keep kazuha out of the rain, feeling sullen. not that she minded, it allowed her to fully cover your head instead.
instead of waving you goodbye like she always did, kazuha brought you into an abrupt hug. "...bye, y/n," she mumbled into your hair, and left a fleeting kiss on your forehead.
then, she took off, leaving you dumbfounded and alone in the doorway of your home.
Tumblr media
"okay, what the actual fuck," you said to your tablet, your friends on facetime.
sakura, who was in a heated match of overwatch, hummed disapprovingly as she clicked and mashed her keyboard furiously. "stop swearing in front of eunchae."
"sorry, mom."
"what happened, though? you've been repeating the same thing for the past 10 minutes," said chaewon, "did my plan work?"
eunchae nodded, the hair roller she was using on her bangs shaking with the movement. "yeah, did it? i can't tell if your reaction is positive or not."
you took a deep breath as you massaged your temples. "i don't know. on one hand, i couldn't confess because we got interrupted again, on the other hand..." you paused.
"what? tell us," urged sakura. it looked like she finished her game. she must've won, judging by the contented smile she had on her face, and the chirpy tone her voice held that you could hear through the crackly audio of your ipad.
"we were in front of my house, she hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. i don't know if this is a sign or not," you sighed.
"it's a sign," yunjin confidently said. it was her first time speaking in the call, despite it being almost 20 minutes since you impulsively facetimed the groupchat.
she rested her white mechanical pencil behind her ear and grinned. then, she went back to typing away at her laptop, not elaborating on her cryptic answer.
"what does that mean, yunjin-unnie?" the youngest asked, to no avail. the volleyball player had muted herself and started to scribble something down while scrolling on her computer.
you clicked your tongue. this behavior was unusual for yunjin; she was usually the most talkative, but today she kept to herself. she seemed to be deep in thought.
"um, okay," you coughed, "kkura-unnie, you said you had a plan right?"
she smiled, stretching out her arms. (you swore you heard a few cracks) "sure i do. i think it'll be fun."
"that's what eunchae and chaewon said, but look where we are now."
"just trust me, y/n."
Tumblr media
3. sakura's idea: take a pottery class together (and have a heartfelt conversation as you shape clay) ("i don't have-") ("you make me pay all the time, obviously i'm paying for the class.") ("...")
you know what, maybe this will work out. sakura's idea was pretty sound, romantic, and wasn't something you usually did with kazuha.
it was saturday. the class was booked for 12 pm. you got up at around 9:30, got ready, and were now killing time in your room as you waited for kazuha to arrive.
today you were wearing an outfit that you had put out last night, after hours of deciding with the help of yunjin and sakura. (it was really just something you found from pinterest that you tried to replicate with the clothes in your closet) but combined with it was this silver star necklace that the girl of your affections gifted you for your birthday.
you only took it out on special occasions, terrified you were going to lose it or break it if you wore it too often. usually, you kept it in its box on your nightstand, sometimes taking it out to admire or while thinking of kazuha.
...maybe that was tmi.
pacing around your room, you bit your nail as you awaited a text from your date friend. kazuha was going to pick you up for a quick brunch before you set off for the pottery studio located in the central city area. for brunch, you were going to a café you frequented that some of your friends worked at. (minjeong and jimin usually gave you discounts that you and your light wallet thanked them for. they also tried to help you with your crush, but those attempts were something to talk about another day.)
"ding!" your phone beeped. you rushed over to your phone at the speed of light, only to see it was a notification from sakura detailing your booking information.
groaning, you unceremoniously fell onto your bed. it was still early, only about 10:30, and the meeting time was 11, but kazuha would always be early, insisting that she should pick you up from your home because that was the "least she could do." such a gentlewoman, she was.
your phone beeped again, and you were about to set it to 'do not disturb' in the midst of your moping, until you turned the device over to see that kazuha was the one texting.
from: zuha 🦢💙 im at your door :]
yelping, you scrambled for your bag and made sure you looked presentable as you dashed to your apartment door. before you opened it, you checked yourself for the second time on your phone camera for anything that could possibly harm kazuha's image of you.
and there she was, in all her glory. wearing a cropped shirt with a white and black flannel on top, combined with gray canvas pants held up by a black grommet belt. it seemed to compliment your outfit, in a way. 'maybe yunjin helped her with her outfit, too,' you surmised, shaking your head at the thought.
"hey!" she greeted, shyly waving her hand. you'd been through this process countless times, but you both always acted like it was the first time.
"hey," you mirrored, stepping out of your home and locking the door behind you. your hand gravitated toward kazuha's, the action not going unnoticed by the girl, and she took the initiative and interlocked your fingers together. you coughed into your other fist in an attempt to cover your blushing face.
you made your way out of the apartment complex, to the parking lot. the japanese girl led you to a pristine white convertible, opening the passenger's side for you and jogging over to get in the driver's seat. your hands had to part briefly, but once she sat down, her hand found yours again.
pushing the the start button, kazuha put her seatbelt on and grinned at you, revving the engine a few times. you laughed, shaking your head when she made a satisfied face while nodding her head.
"dad let me borrow for today. said he was counting on me and to treat you right," she recounted, "so hopefully i'm doing something right."
"you are, don't worry," you answered, but really what you wanted to say was, 'you always do, without even trying. making me feel like the luckiest person alive with just a laugh. just a smile.'
and off you went downtown. kazuha handed you the aux cord, and you sang along to some of your favorite tunes on the way there. eventually, you made it to the café, sliding in the small designated parking area. kazuha went around and opened the door for you, again, and you walked through the entrance.
minjeong was at the counter, no jimin in sight, but she offered you a teasing smile at the sight of you and kazuha together.
"welcome! will both of you be having the usual?" she asked, resting her hands on the counter.
your date(?) turned to you, and you nodded. "yeah, just the usual," she replied to minjeong, then adding, "we'll also have two... egg drop sandwiches."
minjeong entered your orders in the system, kazuha paid, and the familiar barista handed you your receipt. before you left to secure a table, she gave you a look that screamed "you have to tell me all about it later." you timidly smiled back.
the two of you sat in your usual spot, a table for two in a quiet corner next to the window facing the bustling streets of downtown seoul. it was where you had your study sessions and hangouts with kazuha, and close enough to occasionally talk to jimin and minjeong during their breaks.
speaking of jimin, you were wondering where she was. her and minjeong were usually on the same shift. you'll ask later, when your orders came.
for now, you observed the girl sitting across from you, who had started folding the receipt into an origami crane. she was very focused, tongue slightly sticking out as she meticulously folded the thin paper. she always did this, making cranes out of your receipt from the café. and she always left the finished product on the table, for the employees to add to the stack of cranes hanging on the selfie wall that she had made on previous visits.
once she was done, she placed it in the middle of the table, giving it a few taps to the top of its head with her finger. her eyes met yours, and you flinched, being caught staring.
"how's your morning, so far?" she asked with a dopey grin, arms now resting on the polished surface of the table. it took you a couple of seconds to process her words, eyes still tracking her movements.
"it's been," you coughed, reminded of the inner turmoil you had just an hour ago, "fine, better since you came, zuha."
nice going, you! yunjin would've been proud of that one. you'd say eunchae and chaewon too, since they're always watching those k-dramas that you get roped into, but yunjin always managed to say those cheesy pickup lines with a straight face... at least for a few seconds.
but it seemed to have worked because the girl across from you had a light blush on her face. she played with a few strands of her hair, her smile growing by the second.
"that was smooth," she remarked, letting her hand linger on top of yours for a few moments. now, it was your turn to blush. was she trying to kill you!?
time passed and your drinks and food came, you and her making small talk as you enjoyed your sandwiches. nothing really interesting happened, the brunch went on as usual, with kazuha stealing a bite of your sandwich (even though she had the exact same thing, saying it tasted better because it was yours) and you taking selfies with her.
(after asking minjeong, apparently jimin was out sick, so the younger girl was left alone, much to her irritation.)
eventually you left after finishing everything you ordered, walking out to the parking lot together. it was nice out, the sun peeking our behind fluffy clouds, and a refreshing breeze dancing at your feet.
"the sandwiches were super good," kazuha remarks, kicking a stray pebble in front of her. "but you know what sounds good right now?"
she opened the car door for you, and walked over to the other side so she could sit on the opposite side.
"what?" you raised an eyebrow, even though you already knew what she was going to say next.
"greek yogurt!" you both said, your shared laughter now echoing within the car.
she started the engine and started to pull out of the parking space, still giggling quietly. "maybe we can get some after the pottery class."
you hummed, stashing the receipt from earlier into the glove box. "yeah, we should."
the drive from the café to the studio was a short ride away, and the two of you spent it belting out the lyrics to 'lovesick girls' by blackpink. it was one of the must-play songs whenever you were on the road with each other; a ride wouldn't feel complete without it.
the lyrics didn't have a special meaning to you, per se. it was just the first song that started playing the first time you and kazuha shared earbuds. the japanese girl happened to be a major blackpink fan, and while you weren't particularly into the group, lovesick girls was a good song. after that day, it became routine to listen to it at least once when you were with her.
when the two of you pulled up to the pottery studio, you breathed out a 'thank you' to sakura in your head. because there was no way your broke ass could afford this place. it blended in with the buildings around it, sleek and modern, and it seemed to be a hotspot for couples on dates.
"welcome!" the employee at the studio bowed. the place was quite sophisticated, charmingly decorated but still managing to keep a homey atmosphere.
you followed them to the front desk, pulling up the information that sakura sent you in the midst of your earlier morning misery. "we have a session for 12?"
the employee nodded, scanning the barcode that was included in the email.
"y/n?"
"that's me," you awkwardly waved. kazuha stifled a laugh, and you nudged her shoulder.
you were both led to a more suited area for working with clay, which was a room that looked much more like a workshop than the neat and tidy reception that you were just at.
"all the tools are over here," the person gestured to a shelving system with clear labels of which tools went where, "and any clay you want to use is over here."
"the paints are next to the clays," they looked down at their wristwatch, "your session is booked until 2, have fun!"
and off they went, skipping right back to the reception desk humming a tune you've never heard before. did... did they just leave you?
your 'date' cleared her throat, looking to you as if you had an answer to the unspoken question that lingered in the air. well, you were dragged to those lessons by eunchae and yunjin twice before, so maybe sakura was planning for you to teach kazuha?
you set your bag down, sighing. "well, let's get started, i've done this before so i think i know what to do?"
she followed, putting her phone down next to the pottery wheel that was already on the table.
a good 15 minutes passed and you showed the girl the basics of working with clay on the wheel. thankfully you both have gone through the tortures and wonders of art class, so there was no need to teach her the ABCs of clay. but the wheel was quickly disregarded when you mentioned you wanted to make a pinch pot, and kazuha, ever the easily influenced, wanted to make one too. there goes part of sakura's plan...?
so you sat across from her, working on a pinch pot that you intended to be in the shape of a cat, while she was trying to make one of moomin. at least that's what she told you—it looked more like a lump attached to the side of the pot, but you weren't going to say that to her face when she looked so proud of herself.
"so, kazuha," you started, carving a feline expression onto your pot, "i have something to tell you."
the girl hummed, not looking up from her own project. she was currently chipping off bits of the edges of clay with a scalpel.
"you mean a lot to me, you know," a deep breath, "truly amazing. you're so talented, and kind, even though you're really dorky and sometimes i feel like you were sent from space- in a good way! it's cute..."
"...but i guess what i'm trying to say, as someone who admi- kazuha!?"
in the middle of your speech, kazuha had accidentally flung a piece of clay into her eye. was she caught off? you didn't know, well, more like you didn't care because you needed to call an ambulance, asap.
"i'm, i'm fine, i think," she hissed, her body betraying her words when her eye started watering an irregular amount and her eye was bloodshot when you could finally see it opened.
you shook your head, biting your lip as you texted the groupchat about what had happened, and took kazuha's keys as you dragged her out with you to the parking lot. luckily, you got your license last month so you should knew what you were doing.
jesus.
Tumblr media
"you're going to smash your skull into that desk, y/n."
you felt two taps on your head and the desk respectively, and briefly glanced up to see your classmates aeri and yizhuo looking at you like you were a cow in space.
and so you continued knocking your head against the cheap wood. maybe it'll get bluetoothed to kazuha, making her realize that you liked her. or something.
you collapsed into the nest of what was your hoodie and arms, and let out a muffled scream.
aeri pursed her lips and patted you on the head in sympathy. "is it kazuha again?"
"it's so kazuha again," yizhuo dragged out. yizhuo had a very punchable face.
you swatted at the cheerleader, scowling. "can you shut up? i swear nothing goes well when it's just me and her."
it's been a week since the clay incident, when you took her to the emergency room. all was fine after the doctor checked her eye and prescribed her some eye drops to use over the course of two weeks. kazuha said that she was feeling okay in the physical sense, but it was pretty traumatizing for her (and you) to be in that situation.
"i'm all out of ideas. should i give up?" you asked, searching for any hint of disagreement in both of the girls' eyes.
they shared a look, and turned back to you. "how about baking cookies?" proposed aeri, grabbing a carton of strawberry milk from her bag and placing it on your desk. you accepted it gratefully, taking a sip almost immediately.
"cookies! i bet she would love those. what if you baked together? you should bake together."
baking. not your strongest suit. the last time you baked, you were banned from the kitchen for a month. but, well, that was because you were messing around with eunchae, and this time you would probably buy a cookie mix from the convenience store. you liked to think you were great at following instructions.
it was worth a shot, though. and you were willing to do anything. except maybe trying to tell her upfront again. that would be too easy. and you liked to torture yourself... for no reason(?)
"i'll try it. thanks, you two. if it goes well, i'll give you some cookies as a token of my gratitude."
yizhuo smiled. aeri looked away.
"we'll have to take a raincheck on that."
Tumblr media
4. aeri and yizhuo's idea: bake cookies together! (and sneak in a little smooth "i love you" while you're at it!)
"what made you want to bake cookies all of a sudden, y/n?"
you felt a drop of sweat on your forehead. you and kazuha were getting bowls from the cabinet and ingredients from your fridge. your parents were out tonight, to your relief. not that their presence was unwelcome, but even they were tired of the waiting game with the girl you liked.
the sound of the metal bowls clacking against each other alarmed kazuha, causing her to peek out from the door of the fridge.
"no reason... i just felt like making them. with you! yeah."
"okay... how many eggs do we need?"
you checked the back of the box. "just one."
"okay! ...ow."
it seemed that when she closed the door of the fridge, she had forgotten that her head was there too. how did you predict this? many, many experiences. like how she accidentally let the door slam against her hand, which was holding a can of dr pepper, which then caused her to drop said can, leading to a huge mess on the tiled floor.
she looked at you with a pout, but now holding a singular egg and a stick of butter.
...this was going to be a long day.
...
okay, well maybe not long. it wasn't going that badly, actually. by not bad you mean you were now sitting at the kitchen island with kazuha, waiting for the butter to melt in the microwave. she'd already gotten the egg and water, and you had gotten a bowl and some vanilla extract to mix with the pre-made cookie mix.
it said to soften the butter, but neither of you knew what the difference between softening it and melting it was, so... here's hoping your kitchen doesn't burn down again! and here's hoping that minjeong wouldn't feel offended at your lack of knowledge about baking. that girl could bake a mean cake. and a mean punch.
"you're a great person, y/n," she said, reaching over to rest her hand over yours. you felt the tips of your ears burn at the action. where was this going? wasn't this your line?
then she gave you her signature smile, so warm it could melt you, and you felt like you were actually about to melt into the bar stool.
she squeezed your hand, redirecting her gaze to the counter that she was leaning against. "and i just want to say thank you for taking care of me. and that i really, really..."
you furrowed your brow. "really... what?"
she pointed to the microwave. you glanced over to where she was pointing, and squinted at it to see that there was a flame forming on top of the foil of the small bowl you put the butter in.
wait.
"oh my god, fire! kazuha, get the fire extinguisher, it's on the wall next to the balcony door!"
she rushed to get the tool, preparing to spray as you opened the microwave.
some of the foam got in your face, and you coughed, trying to wave it away from you. kazuha went a little overboard.
did you jinx yourself with the "here's hoping your kitchen doesn't burn down again"? yeah. were you surprised? no.
the athlete cautiously grasped the bowl with an oven mitt, slowly pulling it off of the glass dish. the foil was charred, and she pulled it open to reveal butter that was definitely melted. to the point that it had turned into liquid.
first of all, why did you microwave the butter with the foil on? second of all, why did you even microwave it for that long? you suddenly regretted the decision that the two of you had made to let it melt, soften, or whatever for five minutes.
you sighed, dropping your forehead to the counter. "sorry, zuha. i guess the cookies are a fail for today."
"it's okay, y/nnie," she shook her head, patting your back.
after you cleaned up failure #2 (#1 being the aforementioned cake with eunchae), you watched a few episodes of the latest k-drama with kazuha that night before she went home.
plan d of operation: ILYKZH was, undoubtedly, a fail.
Tumblr media
karaoke was a place you and your friend group frequented. at first you avoided it like the plague, but with some convincing from your friends, you've grown comfortable with it.
with all the food and dessert you could order, and free entertainment, (watching sakura sing yet another red velvet song while chaewon and eunchae clap along) who wouldn't like karaoke? though it was mostly the pizza that kept you there. there has got to be some sort of secret ingredient they use.
it was your weekly visit to the usual place, and this time yunjin was accompanying you. you didn't know why she was, but she always paid whenever she came with you guys, so you didn't mind.
the group ordered their drinks, and of course the deluxe pizza and fries combo, and sakura was already looking for the next red velvet song to sing. you smiled fondly at the sight, watching the youngest try to convince her to pick another artist, even though you all knew it wasn't going to happen.
"do you think kkura-unnie's ever gonna stray away from her favorite group?" yunjin tapped your shoulder. you rested your chin on your palm and pretended to think, the american laughing at you soon after. it seemed the answer was delivered telepathically.
"maybe..." you glanced at the eldest, who was now singing a duet with chaewon of 'one of these nights', "...not."
"oh yeah, i have something for you," she reached into her purse, pulling out two slips of paper and presenting them to you.
you narrowed your eyes at her, "what're these? and what for?"
"they're tickets, silly! to the aquarium. i got them from theater club, but i don't need them. why not take zuha out?"
pause. should you trust yunjin? she'd been pretty quiet about your ordeal(s) involving the girl you liked, so who knew what she was planning?
but then you remembered the kitchen that was set on fire just three days ago, and so you took the pair of tickets from her hand anyway.
an invisible spark of understanding flared as you shook her hand.
plan e (e, really?) of operation: ILYKZH was a go.
Tumblr media
5. yunjin's idea: go on an aquarium date, accompanied by the deep blue and the jellyfish
"be good, okay?" sakura said to you as you stepped out of the car, shielding your eyes from the glare of the sun.
you playfully scrunched up your nose. "you sound like my mom."
she stuck out her tongue at you, and you had half a mind to get back into the vehicle to flick her on the forehead.
"do it this time, y/n," she reminded you. not that you needed a reminder—the past four attempts were already enough of one.
but, still, she was right. if things didn't go well this time then you might just give up. it had almost been a year since you started trying to confess, after all.
the car door closed with a thump, and you waved at sakura through the window.
now, it was time to wait for kazuha. the girl was bound to arrive any moment now, since it was nearing the meetup time. usually, she'd get there before you, but yunjin probably gave her a ride, and yunjin was known to be a very punctual individual; she always arrived at the exact scheduled time, no earlier, no later.
the time on your phone hit 2:00 pm, and as expected, yunjin's gray SUV pulled up to the parking lot, kazuha in tow. they exchanged some words as they walked up to you, but you couldn't make out anything they were saying.
"hey, y/n!" the american waved to you, lightly pushing the other girl forward, to which she protested to.
"hi, y/n," she said quietly, bashfully scratching her neck. you covered your mouth with your hand to hide your giggles.
"hi kazuha, yunjin! right on time, as per usual."
yunjin nodded, "you know me. well, i hope you two have fun, send me pictures of the fish!"
...and she left.
now it was only you and kazuha, standing in front of the entrance to the aquarium.
"you..."
"huh?" you slightly flinched as she gently held your star pendant, caressing it like it was the most fragile thing on earth.
she softly smiled, looking deeply into your eyes. "you're wearing the necklace."
your heart burst into flames. maybe now was a good time to call sakura to come pick you up with the excuse of having heart palpitations. wait, no, y/n! you have to go on!
hurriedly turning away, you gestured to the glass doors of the building. "let's head in!"
in all honesty, you'd already been here more than a few times, and you'd practically memorized layout of the place. kazuha, however, hadn't, this being her first visit to the aquarium since moving to seoul.
so you let yourself be whisked away by the athlete, wandering through the many, many habitats in one of the biggest aquariums in korea. the two of you stopped by the gift shop, kazuha buying you one of the giant shark plushies, and of course you had to take tons of pictures with it in the shark tunnel.
after clearing most of the sections, you ended up going back to the jellyfish exhibits.
"they're just so interesting, the way they just float around, you know?" she said, face illuminated by the blue light of the tank.
you took a moment to admire the sight, stepping closer to observe the moon jellies alongside her. "i get you," you smiled, eyes following the jellies in no particular order. "they're so pretty. especially with the tank lighting."
kazuha turned her head to look at you, a grin spreading on her face as well. "wait, don't move."
in a second, all you could hear was your own thumping heart as the girl's thumb picked something off your face. her own face was incredibly close to yours, her breath fanning your lips as she leaned even closer to you.
"y/n, i..."
at some point (you didn't remember) you felt your eyelids falling shut, anticipating the feeling of her lips on yours.
...but that feeling never came.
"sir, get out of the tank, please! sir!"
the murmur of the crowd behind you became louder, security and staff rushing to another section of the aquarium, shouting warnings one after another.
you jumped away from kazuha, whipping your head around to see the man fighting off two staff members inside one of the tanks, people gathering around it to record the scene.
"what the hell..." you mumbled, turning back to the girl you almost kissed. she looked at you with furrowed brows, a confused expression on her face, similar to yours.
you shifted on your feet, pursing your lips. "we should get out of here. before," you pointed at the situation behind you which one would only deem as utterly ridiculous, "any of that gets worse."
she nodded, and the both of you speed walked to the exit of the building, choosing not to talk about what had happened before you got interrupted. you called sakura, and kazuha called yunjin, and you found yourself in front of the entrance again like in the morning.
that night, you let your dreams finish the moment for you.
Tumblr media
+1.
you, sakura, eunchae, chaewon, yunjin, and kazuha all stood in front of the ferris wheel at everland. it was late—the sun was long gone, replaced by the glowing crescent moon.
the ferris wheel was a popular attraction, typically saved for the end of the day. and in your friends' words: the perfect confession spot. you'd already told them you were giving up after the last time, but they just wouldn't budge.
unsurprisingly, you and kazuha were somehow shoved into the cabin together.
as the cabin rose up into the air, you fidgeted with the star pendant resting on your chest. the ride was filled with awkward silence, the two of you sitting on opposite sides but looking away from each other.
you said you were giving up, but deep down you really hadn't. it was hard to stop liking someone you fell for two years ago. even now, your heart was still beating fast just looking at the girl. you wondered when, if ever, these feelings would stop. would you be happy?
the ride was now nearing the top, the night sky becoming more visible from the windows of the cabin.
"hey, y/n..." kazuha said, her voice breaking the silence. your gaze remained outside, unmoving, finding it hard to speak, but you answered regardless.
"yeah?"
"i like you too."
you'd nearly gotten a cramp at how fast your neck turned to meet kazuha's eyes.
"what?"
"i heard you and yunjin and sakura-unnie talking. about how you were going to give up on me, and i was so confused but i finally figured it out," she blurted out, suddenly feeling embarrassed at how quickly she said those words in succession. "and i know you've been trying to tell me but god, i'm so, so stupid."
"y/n," she moved to your side of the booth, taking your hands in hers. there was a mix of determination, honesty, and apology that you could clearly see in her eyes, putting you in a trance.
"i'm sorry it took me this long. but, i like you. so much that i can't sleep at night because all i can think of is you. so much that i spend hours and hours talking about you to yunjin, to the point where she's even blocked me because i just wouldn't stop. so much tha-"
peach. peach was what nakamura kazuha's lips tasted like, the peach flavored lip gloss that you got her on a whim on a random tuesday. your arms naturally looped around her neck, hers wrapping around your waist as she pulled you closer to her, lips moving against yours in a clumsy rhythm.
when you pulled away briefly, forehead resting on hers, she grinned.
"what are you smiling at?"
"you taste like vanilla soft serve."
you shook your head lightly in disbelief. "i had some earlier."
she huffed. "i know."
and her lips were on yours once again.
(when you came out from the cabin, hand in hand with messy hair and smudged lip gloss, you were met with four pairs of knowing looks.
sakura was the first to speak. "who said it?"
you and kazuha looked at each other in confusion. "uh, what?"
"who confessed!" chaewon groaned, puffing her cheeks up in impatience.
"kazuha did," you said before your now girlfriend could.
sakura and yunjin pumped their fists in the air, even going as far as giving each other a spirited hug. you smiled at the thought of them being happy for you and kazuha, until you saw eunchae and chaewon grumbling and pulling 50,000 won bills out of their wallets.
"you guys seriously bet on us?" the girl beside you asked, mouth agape.
"we waited two years, we might as well make something out of it!" the american said as she took the golden bill from chaewon, celebrating.
"unbelievable.")
Tumblr media
a/n : tell me to write something and i come up with something entirely different this is why i have like 8 wips
388 notes · View notes
harrowscore · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
and yet we're supposed to believe that losing her powers and living as mal's housewife in la casetta in canadà is a happy ending for her?
it's... fascinating how the grisha are both reviled and venerated as saints in the same country. they're extremely powerful in many ways, and yet objects of superstition and even outright discrimination and fear by ravkans, their own countrymen. it's contradictory tbh. i would like to call it "complex portrayal" but... heh.
#again. idt d.arklina is a HEALTHIER pairing (obviously!) but 1. it is *objectively* more interesting than whatever m.alina got#and 2. the latter is very regressive in a way that feels familiar to irl het relationships too and it kinda makes me uneasy#the darkling is so exaggerated in his villainy (immortal; super powerful; ruthless bastard with little to none morals at all etc.)#that he doesn't feel quite real. he plays the fantasy villain and he plays it well#it's all very threatening but also dangerously alluring in the way all fantasy dark romances are supposed to be#mal on the other hand is the average asshole who neglects the girl who loves him and lives for him#that he's jealous and suspicious of her achievements. that wants to curb her power down for... Reasons i guess#he's the Nice Guy who's actually a toxic asshole in the way your sister/bff/etc.'s toxic asshole bf may be#it's not more ~problematic or anything of course. it's just more annoying#because bardugo tries VERY painfully to make us see the m.alina romance as the Healthy Alternative to the darkling's dangerous charm#but it just isn't lmao. like... aleksander needed to die? because he's Bad? i understand it. i love tragic stuff#but alina losing her powers and living a Simple Country Life with mal of all people... this is not even remotely close#to the katniss/peeta ending. nope. i'm not everdeen biggest fan (i found it a bit boring lmao ik. it's a Me problem)#but in thg that finale makes sense. it is coherent with the series' overall themes and their execution in the narrative#i'm not overjoyed at the idea of peeta insisting that katniss should have his babies (it makes me very uncomfortable ngl)#but i Understand okay?#this tho. this feels such a setback for alina. because alina loves power!! she's ambitious!! she's not that peasant orphan girl anymore#and can't get back to when she was! after all she's been through you can't expect to want the same things she wanted#before the plot even started. actually that's how you make a young adult character (or character in general) grow:#it's change baby. Development™. writing 101 lmao#end of the rant shdhdh#val reads the greg trilogy#val speaks#txt
15 notes · View notes