#but I'm learning so much!
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My deep love of research has me going to the shadiest fucking websites
#hal rambles#miscellaneous#thoughts#researching digital anonymity rn but simultaneously also testing out different online research/searching methods#I've got like 200 tabs open across several browsers and this is the most fun I've had all week#yeah there's something wrong with me#i've been on so many sites today that would 100% give me malware if I wasn't careful#but I'm learning so much!
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actually that ao3 post about calculating kudos-to-hits ratios to decide if a fic is worth reading has me so pissed off. someone put real time and energy into something they are SHARING WITH YOU FOR FREE on a site where you can quite literally filter and search by anything you want and you're STILL trying to find a foolproof method to find stuff that's "good enough to read"???
YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE FOR EVERYTHING
you don't have to like or read everything in a given fandom or tag, but you also don't have to be a cunt about it and imply that it's not worth reading. this is the kind of shit that moves people to stop creating altogether, and to see people agreeing in the tags is so disheartening. absolutely unserious behavior.
#some of y'all would not have survived pre-ao3 fandom spaces and it really fucking shows#i have so much more i could say about this but at my core it really just makes me sad#i'm obviously not tagging the op of the original post or anything but i hope they and everyone agreeing with them learns to chill tf out
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.
Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU
#knitting#no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means#How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles#Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me#Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice#How do I join the pattern cult#I am so confused#I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders#I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources#And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me#I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling?#Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language#And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction
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Wrapping up the season with a redraw (Jan 2024)!
Thank you all for these last 6 months, I have loved making so many people laugh from my silly comics B*)
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#laios touden#marcille donato#senshi#chilchuk tims#izutsumi#When I start my weekly dungeon Meshi posting#I never would have thought it would have pushed me to grow so much as an artist.#Nor that some of those comics would become some of the most popular things I've ever made!#I really did just want to start incorporating some more self-indulgent art into my week.#I love this series dearly and it has been a delight to be able to draw these characters and see so many new people learn to love them#Oh and don't get worried; I *will* still be drawing dungeon meshi fan art now-and-again.#I have a really cool thing to show off next Thursday!#I've been a fan for nearly a decade. This isn't a hyperfixation this is a part of my core personality.#This anime adaptation was beyond good. I'm so excited to see season two!
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god i love skk sm i wish gay ppl were real :(
#LOTUS DRAWING ACTUAL POSES AND NOT JUST BUSTS??? WOAH#i swear i actually know anatomy and stuff i just never draw it bc it's too much effort#going to bed <<<<< staying up until two thirty to draw your otp#ALSO.. for those of you who know i'm rewatching bsd w my friend whose never seen it before.. we finally got to ep9#and she IMMEDIATELY clocked in on skk's toxic exes energy😭😭#also she calls chuuya childe bc hes a ginger and his first reaction to seeing dazai was “fight me >:)”#she was like “omgg..hes part of the evil organization🤭 and has beef w the protag (he wants to fuck them😏) *giggles* wait. TARTAGLIA😨😨‼️”#I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SCREAM.. I COULDNT LET HER KNOW HOW DISTRAUGHT I WAS HEARING THAT FOR THE TENTH TIME#anyway we finished s1 and chuuya's her fav character so far let's see if she can learn his actual name and stop calling him childe😭😭#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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It's Crowley asking for holy water as protection and Aziraphale hearing suicide pill. It's Crowley wanting a way to fight for what they have, even if it means destroying everything around them, while Aziraphale fears Crowley will destroy himself for it. It's them both loving each other so much but being pushed apart by it all the same.
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#they just love each other so much#i just need them to learn to communicate dammit#I'm going crazy here
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My favorite pieces this year
#artists on tumblr#thank you so much for another year#as long as i can keep doing art#i'm super grateful#got to work on some cool projects#tried to push myself to socialize more#it's hard#super mega hard#but i met a few new people and made friends i think??#got to play d&d finally#trying to learn how to make friends as an adult lmao#after just focusing on drawing my whole life#shoutout to my plants as well#holding together my mental health through the winter#it's my 3rd christmas in germany#glad to spend another one with my partner in gay
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do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great
i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually
#ramble#yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am#and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.#drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks#i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me#one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know#i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary#some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier#and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless#signs that i should go to bed ^^^^#i will resume my pity party tomorrow
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Weird dream.
#art#tmnt#tmnt original iteration#tmnt au#tmnt au leo#leo#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmta#artists on tumblr#Hi I came up with an AU idea like. Last November#*Oops October actually#And I'm only just posting about it on main. I'm so good at this#Tbf I'm quite happy to just work on it slowly I've got a lot of plot points to iron out anyway#Also I'm primarily doing this for myself#So sorry if the stuff I post doesn't have much substance to it. This mostly only exists inside my brain#Only thing I will share is that I've been referring to the setting as Teenage Mutant Transgender Allegories in my head lmao#They're not explicitly trans. But they may as well be because I am projecting Hard onto this#The turtles are also. Kind of dicks to begin with. Less so Donnie but he has other problems to deal with#The whole thing is about growth and learning to change. So yea#And obviously family too. This is TMNT after all.#ANYWAY. I WILL STOP RAMBLING IN THE TAGS NOW.#Gonna go through my drafts and post the other stuff I made before this one so it's at least in the right order even if I am posting it late
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Sorry if some of these overlap a little/if I left out something obvious kajbdsjkd I tried my best haha. And that's why there's an "other" option!
#coffeebanana polls#personally i think i'm good at writing emotions!#and that's funny to me because growing up i was very much not an emotional person#i had to sort of learn to value emotional intelligence as opposed to pure logic. and i probably repressed some things kjabdfskj#so i'm proud that emotions come through in my writing!#fiction has always been something i can use to connect emotionally even when i struggled doing that irl#and i think that's really cool#anyways i'm looking forwards to seeing what you all love about your writing!!!
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Whenever I drew Connie with a single dandelion behind his ear this scene was playing in my head like wii channel music.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#shadowheart#connecticut tav#bg3 tav#comic#i was near burn out while making this#or more like i had a small breakdown while making the last page#but turned out i forgot to take my meds that week oops#aaanyway#shart eventually learns how to make flower crowns#i have this idea that for their wedding they make the crows for each other#consistency in art style? i dont know her#you can see how i tried to do the simplified style and then abandoned it halfway through#that's what you get for working on something for almost a month#i love the feeling of finishing a comic#but goddamn it's so much work#that's a lot of tags sorry#i'm actually nervous about sharing this one ough#moonbird
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Looks like the entire household is together! I wonder where Miss. Toriel is?
Part 25 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
A fun continuation! Lots of crazy vibes. Due to school, I'll be taking another month/months hiatus. I should really stop making so many cliffhangers ;P
#tw blood#I hope this new update made you laugh a little haha! I really enjoyed making these pages! I wanted to make some good situational comedy.#So many memes#Azzy is sad that Kris bonked his snoot :(#and chara accidentally almost killed Kris >;)#And Susie is now here :D#I may keep the monotone color palette since it takes so much less time :) and I have learned so much about comic panels and experimentation#this background was such a vibe. OH MY gosh. I can draw backgrounds in less than an hour now! Thanks comic!#I'm really happy how I drew the hands. No gloves or anything. Kris has skinny little arms hehe#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#bread#art#deltarune#my art#chara#Asriel#Kris#Susie#deltarune comic#deltarune au#chara timeline#cw blood#tw slight blood#tw cursing#cw cursing#the player#the soul#so many tags#this is a shorter update but its a shorter scene. Lots of action and then transition next time :)
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started playing ooc but couldn't stop thinking about la so here's ww :) it makes sense 👍
#finally starting to experience this infamous loz brainrot... I wanna play all of them I'm having so much fun....#tloz#wind waker#link#aryll#do I tag grandma ??#link's grandma#as Im slooowly getting back into drawing I'm having the issue that the Way I have fun doesn't align with the end results I like...#I haven't drawn in so long I Gotta prioritise having fun over results or I'll never get properly back into it though...#and I'll probably learn smth new along the way !! like how fun new brushes are !!!#my art
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Oh the little change in his expression
#YOU TELL HIM ALISAIE#It's like when the wol told him off on the moon#TINY ITTY BITTY little change in expression#and he's got no response to it and just walks off#Oh I LOVE HIM SO. HE'S WAY more complex than most people would think and I LOVE HIM FOR IT.#Agnes ffxiv adventures#endwalker spoilers#zenos yae galvus#zenos viator galvus#zenosposting#tagging for people who don't want to see me talk about him lmao i'm SO SORRY. I'M ANNOYING.#I love him so much.#He's such a fun interesting character - he really does deserve to get the Vegeta treatment.#redemption but he's still weird and cringe. but he learns to be better with time.#sorry but you all know that I'm right (unless you have bad taste.)#Zenos
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green haired guy that has haunted my character types for 10+ years
#roronoa zoro#one piece#opfanart#ive spent a good 2/3 of my artist life trying to draw him in a way i like.... i'm inching to it slowly bit by bit as i improve#which is truly One of my greatest joys as an artist - learning to draw better so i can draw my faves better#zoro is genuinely my favorite fictional character everrrrrrr... i think.... i love him so much but i have long since ran out of words to#Describe why. and i dont think any other character has come close tbh -- EXCEPT FOR WOLFWOOD!!!!! god. WW!!!!!!!!#which is crazy. but ww is very special. very dear. zoro and ww are very different... someone more similar to ww would be sanji and robin#but there's also smth about them that are so Similar. i sound like an insane person in these tags and clearly im bias BUT I SWEAR!!!#it might just be the loyalty aspect - incredibly strong traits in both of them.... also nightow drew wolfwood in a haramaki once......#connecting the most minor dots over nothing - but any ww + zoro lovers out there - maybe u understand what i mean.
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