#but I'm glad this turned out okay

[spicyicymeloncat]

Nightcord Kaito is actually my favourite virtual singer from project sekai. He’s so angry I love him. (I changed his hair to kinda resemble the character from the original Samsa mv)

[vaguely-concerned]

the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)

after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)

the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol

lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him

[smile-files]

mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two

and it did all the things we designed it to do

now look at you, look at you!

(objectober 2024 day 10: internet)

[shima-draws]

SV commission I did recently!! Had a lot of fun with this one ehe ^^

[julesyoufool]

There is no one left in the world that I can hold onto

There is really no one left at all

There is only you

[maliciousalice]

Commission for @baylardo / @baylardian-1

[skibasyndrome]

.

[queenofthekings]

Robert Sean Leonard movies according to Letterboxd: In The Gloaming (1997)

[chromaheart]

I joined the Critical Role Postcard Exchange hosted by the wonderful @agarthanguide  this year & this was the illustration I did for my exchange! Percival in a holiday hat for the season 🎄✨ Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you all! 

[marcelineuntitled]

i like this one a lot :)))

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[ricepisspee]

So my phone got stolen on the subway a couple days ago. When I finally managed to track it using find my iPhone like 16 hours later I saw it was really close to a phone store. I called and asked if my phone got sold there and the guy was like. what kind of phone is it. I explained all this stuff about the model and case and pop socket (but apparently the case and SIM card were gone) and I was talking so fast that I don't think he really understood anyway. Eventually he asked "is the lock screen a picture of... a unicorn smoking weed?" and let me tell you. the SHRIEK of joy that I let out. I love you, Rainbow Dash. I love you, iPhone.

[quatregats]

I am picturing hornblower timeloop as some sort of clockwork device with a crank handle, and him inside, and I am eagerly turning the handle to make it go, that’s how in favor of hornblower timeloop I am

Yes! Throwing him in the manual-crank washing machine until he finally comes clean! Someone take that man for a spin!

[boxwinebaddie]

i'm sorry, but jerseykyle is legit every ke$ha song ever written i'm?! BLAHBLAHBLAH???? CANNIBAL???? but like Specifically JOYRIDE like, no, literally Beep Beep, Bitch; I'm Outside ( Best Night Yo Life ) —

Get In Loser,

For The JOYRIDE. ;)

[shima-draws]

Me: Oh god. It's time for our company's yearly performance review. Where my boss will judge my performance over the past year and see how awful I am at my job and--

My boss: You're doing such a great job and I'm so happy you're here <3

Me:

[cicadagaze]

and what are you meant to do when the stars have refused you?