#but I'm always inadequate?
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Roy obviously knows that Jamie admires/respects/looks up to him but I like to think there's some part of him that wants Jamie to think he's like. Cool. On some level he's just a middle aged man who peaked in his 20s and craves validation from his cool gen Z coworker. I'm not like a regular coach I'm a Cool coach
#oc#(face straightens immediately)#i think roy was probably bullied at least some at the academy (because he was younger and also super talented) and sometimes with Jamie#who is so effortlessly cool and personable and just has this gravitational pull that will make any room he enters orbit around him#he feels like. idk. inadequate#even when roy was the coolest man in the country there was always this part of him that still felt like it was a joke#this inner autistic 13 year old who never fit in and could never figure out why#like his whole relationship with Keeley he can't believe such a beautiful woman would want to be with him because girls used to ask him out#as a joke or whatever. so he keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop because why would SHE like HIM.#and then when he finds out she's been talking about how clingy he is behind his back he's like I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. of course.#and it's the same thing with jamie. why would Jamie Tartt (Beautiful Young Successful Footballer Slash Sex Symbol). want to be with him.#he feels like a closeted outcast with a helpless crush on a beautiful popular classmate#is this insane.#roy kent#jamie tartt
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The fact that this page made me nearly tear up speaks of the level of character writing of Berserk
Farnese went from sadistically enjoying making people under herself suffer to feel a shred of power in her life, to panicking and rushing to protect the most vulnerable person that could be entrusted in her care, not for herself but because Casca needs to be cared for. And you get to see the evolution, what makes her question herself and the root of her beliefs, the guilt and sense of worthlessness that she carries with her and desperately wants to overcome.
What a wonderful character :)
#berserk#farnese de vandimion#how do you write meta about berserk when it has been dissected to its atomic structure for the past 30 years#i feel woefully inadequate#i just wanted to share this moment i felt#admittedly i always related to farnese#not really the sadistic part but the part where she realizes she's a burden not good for anything#which makes her desire to improve herself all the more touching#i also find interesting that her character development goes from being aggressive and stubborn to being meeker#on the surface of course#because farnese used to be aggressive to cover up her lack of spine with authority figures#while her quieter demeanor coincides with her becoming braver#there is probably a discussion about femininity to be had here but i'm not qualified enough to do that
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it's so fun when the people who took everything from you claim to be the real victims. like, y'all want to dump a years-long friendship in a dumpster fire just cause you're in a romantic relationship and that's the only thing that matters to you, go fucking ahead. but don't pretend to be the victim when you were the one who destroyed it.
you don't get to take literally everything from me and claim that you were the real victim when the only thing you didn't take was the skin off my bones.
#sunbun speaks#i keep having nightmares/memories of the 3-ish people who literally left me with nothing but the clothes on my back#and kept asking for more because it wasn't enough#or the fact that every single one of them basically turned into whoever their partner wanted them to be and would ditch their own parents#if their partner told them they didn't like them anymore#using me as a scapegoat whenever they had negative feelings and accuse me of being the source instead of a voice of reason#or just straight up getting pissed at me when i wasn't going to play their toxic game#and by the end of it all i had nothing: no clothes or any of my stuff no money nowhere to go and no friends#they destroyed my life while i was barely a blip in theirs#people who grew up with wealthy parents are fucking pricks#because yeah that's another thing they all had in common other than being codependent af: they all grew up with upper-middle class parents#they just took and took and took and tossed me aside#cause btw it's really hard to get back a lifetimes worth of stuff in only a few years with no money#i still remember everything they took from me and not just material possessions#and in the end they wanted me to apologize to them for being inadequate in filling my role as emotional punching bag#only for none of them to feel any remorse and get mad at me for implying they did anything that i didn't deserve#even looking at my life now i only have my partner and my kids#as much as i try i can't fix the fact that I'm autistic which means i will always struggle with human interaction#so it's not like it's easy to make friends#especially not friends who don't religiously devote themselves at the alter of toxic monogamy and view anyone else as 'extra' and disposable#in a matter of three years those three people took everything from me and despite it being 6 years later i am STILL recovering what i lost#how can you destroy someone's life who never did anything to you and still consider yourself the victim
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absolutely nothing headier and more of a relief than when i can help our intimidating senior grad student with a method
#i taught her how to use ponceau stain! i gave her a giant bottle of tbst so she doesn't have to make any herself!#i'm useful!!!!!#she knows much more than me about everything and i am always disappointing her by forgetting to do something#so this is a real win for me.#box opener#doctor worm#i'm also smug today because my boss clearly still believes my lab jobs are much more unpleasant for me than they are#permitting me to receive credit for Being A Team Playerâ and also Modesty (when i truthfully profess that i am content to keep doing them)#god. every moment that i get to believe that i am not doing history's most inadequate job and irritating everyone...#just incredible.
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Man I can't wait until I can recover alone for a while
#I was alone in my apartment today and put together a standing clotheshanger shoerack combo#and it was actually so nice to do stuff and NOT receive verbal feedback I didn't ask for#I actually HATE when I start to do things wrong and immediately there's an audible no no no#it makes me feel like I Have to be on top of things and do them right immediately so everyone can be silent to me about it#trying to navigate life without triggering an unskippable cutscene as it were#if I do it on my own I will find out I'm going about it the wrong way soon enough#and I'll correct it#no nitpicking needed just using my time and brain to find a solution#it makes me feel so much better about myself#I'm already starting to see why I've always felt so incapable and inadequate. I can tell I really need this#I'm really curious what else I can do now that I'm allowed to figure it out in silence#more than ever reaffirmed that auditory is my quickest sense to wear me out/overstimulate#which is why reveiving verbal feedback I have to interpret makes me want to fly into a rage sometimes#because I NEVER get enough time to figure it out. they see me not change my course of action immediately and they take it out of my hands#it feels so. crowded and like nothing is in my control#give me time. give me space to breathe. let me make a mistake and understand firsthand why it's a mistake#please please please stop narrating everything to me. please. can we be quiet for a while.#you can sit with me but please don't tell me anything.#bien rambles
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this week rating for the groups I gave tours to :
spanish kids asked questions, didn't talk when I was talking, overall acted interested and impressed, and the teacher told me at some point the reason they were agitated was bc they were having a heated debate about something I just said, A++
german kids were really nice and polite, proper and orderly, asked some questions, didn't talk while I talked, didn't get their phones out A+
british kids asked SOME questions but didn't laugh to my jokes, still seemed very interested and impressed so they get an A
swedish kids did not laugh at my jokes, did not ask any questions, did not say a single word, I felt so alone and abandonned. They came alive in the gift shop, I KNOW they have it in them to be active and talk. B-
#babbles blabbles#no note for the poor poor french/spanish group#that got fucked over by our commercials I feel so sorry for them#KIDS NEVER LAUGH AT MY JOKES AND IT'S MAKING ME FEEL INADEQUATE ADULTS ALWAYS LAUGH AT MY JOKES I KNOW I'M FUNNY
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my mom trying to get me to say that i am smart is so funny to me
#ma'am i feel like the most inadequate person to have gotten the highest grade in my last exam. u're not gonna get me to say im smart#i think my biggest toxic trait is that no matter how much i know and learn i will never feel like i'm smart enough#actually âď¸đ¤ everytime someone says they think i'm smart i think they're lying lol#idk if it's impostor syndrome or what but i rlly dont see myself as smart n i feel like everything i know is one google search away lmao#anyways!!!#i think it has to do a lot with the fact that i was never good in the maths field and i was always made feel stupid for not getting maths#when i was younger. mostly my dad. like every knowledge i had that wasnt maths was useless and everytime he gave me a fact i already knew#(which i always let him know) he got mad lol he didn't like it when i already knew stuff#so i kinda feel like everyone is lying to me when they say im smart bcs i just dont feel like i am#how is everyone saturdar afternoon!!!#jo.txt#also i dont think its a toxic trait but idk how to put it lol
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sometimes i feel okay and then i am reminded i am a terrible human being who hates everything about herself and has a very broken brain and then i am like "oh"
#UGH why does it always hit all at once#i was fiiiiine i was gonna write a fic but now i wanna doomscroll and cry bc i'm inadequate <3
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i mean i guess to be fair i'm also crying because i'm stressed from school and my friend has kinda ghosted and idk why & i ended up panicking and sending him a bunch of texts but he still hasn't responded for a week so i'm scared about that and i had a meltdown with that guy i liked last night and i'm not sure if he's gonna like me v much anymore and so i'm just fully crying about a lot of stuff rn
#i just feel horrible and inadequate#and like i'm always going to be stuck begging for attention from wherever i can get it#from whoever is willing to be patient with me#and it sucks dude. i just want someone to actually like me and choose me i'm so lonely i'm tired of asking so much#it feels like i just keep starting over#bri babbles
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me being a lil real w my depression my mother: we should get u multi vitamins since ur always tired me: or i can actually be diagnosed n' medicated-
#granted ik a lot of what i'm dealing w his due to the seasonal depression#so sure that'll work a little bit#but i also just don't hang out with people again#i have been feeling EXTREMELY inadequate again#i'm always home rn and it kinda sucks#like it feels like covid that's how much i'm home lately#local neighborhood idiot ⸢ ooc. ⸼
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I have a lot of big complicated feelings and no words
#i have no mouth and I must scream#thank gods I'm somewhere safe#I'm so dysregulated#There's so much to process but I dont even know what needs processing#frozen in place even as I pace this garage#anxious anxious always anxious and no relief#only distance#gods i appreciate thc+cbd SO much but FUCK they are wholly inadequate to meet the fullness of my needs#gods#how can my therapist think I'm ready to graduate when this is my existence#ahhhhhhhhhhghhg#micro.vent#micro.txt
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(I felt like I had to call your brother because something told me he wasn't doing alright, and I was right, and I don't have this feeling about you but I figured I'd call you anyway.
Sweet and hurtful at the same time, thanks Mam'. I'll play the part, I won't worry you.)
#but i've not been sleeping well tha'k you for not asking#but i'm worried about you about dad about the people i love too much and the ones i can't seem to love enough thank you for not asking#but i'm feeling inadequate more often than i'd like thank you for not asking#but I'm tired of feeling like being the second child means i'm the second thought thank you for not asking#but i'm frustrated of feeling this way because you love me so much and i know so thank you for not asking#i know you're not doing it on purpose i know you've just always been more attuned to him i just wish it wasn't so obvious#and i worry that he feels that way about dad being closer to me#i think it shows less but maybe it's just because i'm on the good side of it?#anyway#i'll be fine i just need to sleep i'm not doing really well on so little sleep#it's easier for the sad to catch me when i'm tired#parenthèse
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#I hate my body#Not because of the normal reasons of like... being fat and having a uterus or anything like that#I hate that it fails so so so often#I hate that my doctor wants me to give up fruit because my body just has too high triglycerides and can't convert them properly#I hate that my body makes too much cholesterol#I hate that my thyroid doesn't produce the right hormones#I hate that my brain wants to self destruct all the time#I hate that I've had to cut out basically all of the salt from my diet because my body can't regulate my blood pressure#I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it#I hate that I have to take so many goddamn pills all the time#I hate how expensive it is to maintain#I hate that I finally want to live and my body is actively trying to kill me#I hate the my wrists give out#I hate that I'm losing my hearing#I hate that there's a god awful ringing ringing ringing in my ears that I will never be able to escape#I hate that no matter what I do it's just never fucking *enough*#I hate that I'm only 30 and now I'm not supposed to eat bananas or pineapples or watermelon or passionfruit or enjoy alcohol#what else can I whittle away from my life?#AND THERE'S NO ACTUAL MEDICAL PROOF THAT THIS WILL WORK#anyways I'm going to see my brother next weekend#and we're gonna go hiking#I'm just... fucking done#'you're going to have a heart attack if you don't fix this'#you know I carved the word inadequate into my skin when I was 18#the T is still there the rest of it has faded with time#.... yeah#odt#vent#My body will always be inadequate#an inhospitable wasteland that I am trying so so hard to cultivate in
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i'm so glad that my family has kinda cleared the list of potential "formal events'' like weddings before i came out tbh because like. i don't want to wear a suit lol
#dgmw i didn't massively enjoy having to wear a dress or anything#though i hated how it was expected of me and how it felt like the bar was always too high for me to reach#aka 'other' girls at the events always had better outfits better hair better make-up because. they knew how to do that shit glfjd#so i felt inadequate regardless Anyway my point is. i really don't like suits ???#so stuffy. some bourgeois shit. not my style At All.#anyway... next person to die in my family sorry m8 i'm showing up to the funeral in hawaiian shirt+shorts
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Me: here guys, I bought you some pellets My Canary: oh yum, egg food! -grabs yellow pellet- My Canary: -spits it out and wipes beak furiously- BETRAYAL
#they get pellets b/c I'm tired of all the seed hulls#and the pellets were on sale#they're weaning their babies and its soooo much easier to get babies to eat pellets than switching adults#I'm hoping the babies will learned to only eat pellets#you can always add seeds back in later if wanted/needed#in other news the finches took to the pellets immediately#but they've already been eating my button quails' crumbles so it wasn't a big leap#I find it funny how if you feed seeds you MUST have a canary only seed and a finch only seed#but if you feed pellets all the nutritional difference immediately disappear and its OK to feed both canaries and finches the same pellets#I still plan to feed seeds in addition to the pellets they just need more nutrition while breeding and the seed mixes seem inadequate ime
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Put Your Head on My Shoulder
Pair : husband!jk x wife!reader
Genre: marriage au
Warnings: sex scenes nothing too wild
w/c: 10.3 k
âPassports?â
âCheck.â
âYour backpack?â
âCheck.â
âMy wallet? Your wallet?â
âAlso check.â
âOh! Toothbrushes?â
The man didnât reply as he stares at you in disbelief. âBabe,â he sigh softly. But youâre too busy checking your luggage and your backpack. Not wanting to leave anything important behind.
âOur toothbrushes Kook, do we have them? Oh god donât tell me you forgot. Remember Krabi? The one where we forgot our toothbrushes?â With frantic hands you unzip the front part of the luggage to check for the said items.
âMr. Jeon Jungkook?âÂ
You let out a sigh as you look up to see why your husband didnât reply to you. Instead of catching him getting as busy as you are, he is actually looking at you with an amused smile on his face. âThere we go, finally youâre looking at me.â
With a grunt you stood facing him, eyes rolling and the little lips pout started to form on your face with wrinkles on your forehead. Jungkook leans forward as he puts his hands on your shoulders, âBabe, calm down. Weâre not going to the other side of the world for months. Itâs your hometown. I have packed our toothbrushes, and so what, if we left them behind? We can buy them.â Jungkook squeezed your shoulders in hopes to loosen up the knotted muscles as youâre too tensed.
You are always on the edge every time the two of you went on a long trip together. But today it seems to get worse.Â
Youâre used to be the reckless traveler, someone who is hungry with spontaneous adventures and unplanned vacations. But all of that were before marriage, before you had to take care of another human being.
Ever since with Jungkook, you always feel the need to have everything perfectly arranged. You never admitted it but you somehow feel inadequate at attending the need for your husband.
Well, compared to your peers, you, as a wife, is on an 'okay' level.Â
Most of your friends who got married earlier than you certainly are on the master level. You love them, really. But thereâs a time when you think that theyâre being too good to be true.
Theyâre the perfect housewives, the spot on clean home all year round, birthed beautiful babies, cooking up home cooked meals that would make top chefs cried. Theyâre the trophy wives. Â
You and Jungkook are a working couple. You work on the typical working hours, from 9 to 5. The house? You think the house look perfect because you have such a wonderful husband who loves cleaning and doing the laundry.
Unlike you, Jungkook works around his own schedule hence his working time is more flexible than yours. Plus, heâs working from home most of the time. If itâs up to you, the house would be a mess. For the food part, on weekdays, itâs take outs.Â
You are matured enough to understand that people will show things they wanna show. But somehow, somewhere in your heart, it stings when you thought you are not good enough as a wife.
You have no idea how you managed to catch Jungkook as your husband because that man is amazing. He never complains. Not once. Never degrading you for not being the typical wife.
As if the role is reversed in your household. He has been the one that begs you to rest so he could help with the house chores. He sometimes prepared dinner, although claiming heâs not a good cook but if thereâs one warm hearty meal on the table after a long day at work waiting for you, you are in no place to complain.
"Well, I'm pretty independent too, you know. Mom and dad were busy and hyung was always studying somewhere. I know how to take care of myself, and now I can take care of you," This is Jungkook's favourite statement.
He really is an endearing human being. Youâre still learning to take care of him as well. Which is why you get fidgety because youâre so afraid of screwing everything up.
âI know but we don't have to buy it. Why are we wasting money? Once we're back home, we gonna have extra set of toothbrushes, which we don't even need in the first place.â You yaps under your breath as you double check the snacks in your backpack.
Rummaging the backpack for the nth time. Ointment, mint breath strips, lip balm, protein and choco bars. Jungkook must munch on something, and he needs sugar. Thatâs the least you can do. Providing him snacks.
âWill you please look at me?â Jungkook hunched down to be on your eye level. He puts his hands on yours as your knuckles grip the luggage trolley. A little smile adorning his face at how his big hands envelope your tiny hands, looking perfectly fit together. He rarely tells you but he absolutely loves it when he gets to wrap your fingers with his palms. Feeling the warmth emitted from you.
But right now your hands are cold, and Jungkook knew that youâre not just anxious. Heâs not sure yet, so heâs trying to ease you to tell him. Silently pleading with his cooing and his bambi eyes for you to look at him back.Â
He winced a little when your eyes locked on his. Jungkook knows very well from the look of his wife just gave him. Immediately, he cups your face and lean closer.
âHey, hey what is it? Can you tell me?â he whispered as if you're both are sharing a secret that only the two of you know. In the hectic airport with so many people come and go, Jungkook grounded you by just being close to you.
âItâs just, you donât have to come with me, you know. I hate dragging you into my family matters. I know youâre busy and the fact that you have to leave everything for a week is just,â you heave a sigh as you put your hands on his chest. âJust not sitting well with me. I can go there all by myself,â you rambles.
âDonât say it like that,â Jungkook is not gonna lie but your words hurt him.
It hurts when youâre trying to not include him into your personal matter. He is your husband, he admits it was hard to break through the wall you built. It took him enough time to get a glimpse of the side that you always hide.
He wants to be your tree, he wants you lean on him and trust him. Your problem is his problem too. It pains him to see you stress over something and he just wanted you to share it with him.Â
You have never been the one who wears their emotions on their sleeves, so Jungkook have to observe you carefully. He learns with the frown on your face, the wavering voice, the way you avoid eye contact. He is still learning because you are like an enigma in an endless maze, he used to be the one who wanted to decode your thoughts, and the one that can walk into the layers of your maze without feeling lost.
But now he just wants to understand you, wants you to know that he accepts all of your quirks and wandering thoughts.Â
God, he loves you so much and how could you unconsciously treating him like he is a stranger.Â
âDonât you dare say it like Iâm not supposed to be there. Donât exclude me from your family affairs. Theyâre my family too,â he emphasis on every word and it softens you.
âAlso, I will not allow you to go so far away all by yourself, not when Iâm still capable to go everywhere with you. I know, youâre the most amazing and independent woman but I want to be there,â Jungkook gently butts his head on yours, an act of comfort he always do when youâre not listening to him or whenever you feel a little insecure, itâs like saying Iâm here and donât shut me away, his stern yet soft statement makes your view a bit glassy.
He kissed your cheeks before leaving a fluttering peck on your lips. To soothe your nerves. Â
Itâs true that Jungkook had insisted on coming with you to your hometown, despite his busy work. Piles of unfinished videos and songs in his studio at home were left behind immediately the moment you said you have to go back to your hometown for a family business.
Jungkook knew what family business youâre talking about because it has been your constant topic during dinner. Itâs a series of events. Itâs started from your aunt is getting a divorce - not that it has anything to do with you but somehow all of your family members had agreed on an urgent meeting.
You figured out from your cousin that they also wanted to gather in remembering your late Grandpapa.Â
It was a long overdue event. It kept getting pushed back because somebody got married, someone just gave birth, your cousin is still studying overseas and much more excuses.
Perhaps they realized now is a good time, or perhaps because everyone is coming to support your aunt. You decided that you must come, you missed everyone so dearly.
The other solid reason why you have to be there is because youâre the closest grandchild to your Grandpapa and it has been years since you visited your Grandmama. Even Jungkook hasnât met her yet.
She couldnât make it to your wedding since she had fallen ill at that time. The wedding was a small ceremony with only close relatives and friends. And you didnât stay longer because you and Jungkook have to fly back immediately.Â
You missed your Grandmama terribly. Your grandparents practically raised you when your mom and your dad were economically and psychologically struggling in being a parent. Not that you blame them, because now, you're at their age when they become parents for the first time and you started to understand them.
Grandpapa passed away before you met Jungkook, way back when you were in high school, and sometimes it always hits you at how he would love to know the amazing man you called your husband.
Since he loves teasing you when you were little, and you canât help but think Jungkook and Grandpapa would be close buddies with their teasing antics.Â
You told Jungkook some of the memories you had with your grandparents, you also shared with him the moment when you have to move out from their house to live back with your parents. You still remember the sadness looks in your Grandpapaâs wrinkled face like it all happened yesterday. You did visited them occasionally. During the holiday season or when you have a long school break. But, it was not enough.
Honestly, Jungkook is as excited and definitely nervous in meeting your Grandmama. He heard a lot about that amazing lady from you and heâs afraid of her acceptance. What if she didnât like him? What if she decided that Jungkook is not enough for her granddaughter? From your stories your grandma sounds like a warm person but what if sheâs cold to him?
âThank you Jungkook, for coming with me,â it came out like a whisper in his ear. Squeezing your hand, he pulls you to walk beside him as he push the trolley to the boarding gate.
Although you were reluctant on dragging him along, his presence still brings you peace, and you need him.
âOh babe, I forgot to show you. Remember yesterday, Taehyung came over with Yuna?â Jungkook is pulling out his phone from his back pocket. Wanting to show you the video of your friendâs baby.
âOf course I remember. They left before I reached home.â Sighing, recalling how you rushed to get home yesterday just to meet Yuna, the little bundle of joy.
She is just at the perfect age when curiosity takes over her and babies are the best at this age. Itâs not like you can meet and play with her everyday. First of all Taehyung loves hoarding his daughter all to himself - selfish - and secondly because of your work.
Yuna is going to forget her godmother since she only spent her baby days with Jungkook, her godfather.Â
âIâm very sure Yuna misses you just as much as you miss her. Look at this! Sheâs sleeping so comfortably on our desk.â Jungkook squealed as he keeps playing the video of Yuna in her pink fluffy onesie, (the one that you bought for her) drooling on your desk next to the files. She was sleeping on her stomach and as Taehyung is about to pick her up, she whined.
Making both of you giggle at her cuteness.
âGod, how does she sleeps soundly on that hard desk? You know my ass is still sore from that night you pushed me onto it?â Jungkook smirks like a little tease he is, while youâre trying to act like you have no idea what it is that heâs trying to tell.
âNo, honey, I donât know,â of course you know but youâre trying to focus on anything, not the memories of your tangled sweaty bodies, falling files and your stationary box topple over on the floor.Â
Sensing that you're getting shy, Jungkook keeps on teasing you. He is relentless.
He leans over the armrest, whispering in your ears, âawe come on. How can you already forgot how hard you pulled my hair, the scratches on my back, babe? Still stings. God, the way you ride me on your desk, ugh you're so hot,â he sighs heavily and you feel the warmth of his breath on your neck, you're sensitive spot.
You snapped your head so fast at your husbandâs bold action. You are in an airplane for heavenâs sake! You can feel the warmth blush creeps on your face. You pinched his arm.
âThere are hundreds of people on board, and weâre gonna be here for hours! No one wants to hear our bedroom story!â You hissed and Jungkook is silently yelping in pain. He hates the fact that he loves pain especially from you.Â
âOkay, okay, okay!! Sorry, baby, Iâm sorry. Iâll behave!â He grips on your wrist to stop you from keep abusing his arm.
The grin on Jungkookâs face is as wide as yours but suddenly your face feel in horror as you remembered you rode Jungkook on your desk!
You had sex on the desk of where Yuna fell asleep on! Slept on her stomach! Face down on the spot of Jungkookâs ass! Baby Yuna! Taehyungâs sunshine! On your desk! Did you cleaned it up?!
A loud gasp coming out from you as these thoughts bombarded your mind. You covered your mouth with your hand while the other one is grabbing Jungkook.
âWhat, baby, why? You wanna vomit?â Jungkook quickly leans forward to grab the paper bag from the pocket seat. You stopped him, half laughing and half crying, youâre trying to explain to him the sin you two had done but it all came out as broken sentences.
Not wanting to disturb other passengers but wanting to scream at the same time is probably the hardest choice you have to make at this moment. With wide eyes, Jungkook look at you in bewilderment.
âWhat is it? Should I be worried? Want me to get help?â Jungkook is in between laughing along with you or be scared that his wife is losing it. Honestly he has no idea.Â
âShit, babe. We had sex at the desk! Yuna slept on it! What are we gonna tell Taehyung? Should we tell him?â Wiping your tears while youâre mouth is still widely laughing is a confusing sight for Jungkook but once he gets the gist of what youâre trying to tell him, he, too let out a loud laugh.
The seat next to you gave the both of you a weird look and and grunts can be heard. Your husband straighten his back on the chair and clears his throat as he apologize loud enough for the row in front of you to catch it.Â
Leaning back to you he grabs your hand and trying to muffle the noise as you both keep on giggling like little kids. Youâre still terrified on the inside, thinking of Yuna and how are you supposed to tell her father? Kim Taehyung is going to cut your husbandâs dick once he knew.
âJeon Jungkook, stop laughing! This is not funny,â your attempt to be serious was blown away by your own wheezing.
âIn my defense, youâre the impatient one,â he scrunched his nose with his lips jutted towards you.Â
âYou couldâve carried me to our bed!â you hissed.
Jungkook gives you a betrayed expression as he puts his hand on his chest. As if youâre accusing him of the crime both of you committed.
âExcuse me maâam, I clearly remember youâre the one who chanted more baby, please I want you in me, now,â he mocked your moaning. Your face is in your palms as you keep shaking your head.
âI did not sound like that. Please, Jungkook at least tell me we did clean the desk.â Banging your head on his shoulder while he snorted.Â
âWell, your welcome, because your amazing house-husband did cleaned the desk. You blacked out the moment we got into our bedroom. Meanwhile, your dutiful husband, wiped our crime scene clean with a hand sanitizer. I told you that sanitizer will come in handy.â This is one of the moments youâre so happy to have such a clean freak as your husband.
âOh god, thank goodness!â You showered his cheek with kisses.
âBut do we have to tell Taehyung though?â Biting your lower lip, you secretly wished he is as evil as you. Because you donât want to freak Taehyung out.
Just as you thought, called it soulmate behavior, because Jungkook just shrug it off and said to not tell him and even if he did, Taehyung would understand anyway.
He had done a lot worse back in his college days and Jungkook have all the receipts as his roommates.Â
Laughing softly you shakes your head. âCanât believe we tainted Yuna like this. What kind of godparents are we? Unbelievable,â your eyes are getting droopy as the airplane breaking the clouds.
Jungkook is taking off his grey hoodie for you because you always catch cold easily, especially when travelling in an airplane. Thankfully heâs wearing a long sleeve shirt inside.Â
He did reminded you to wear an extra layer but it seems like you forgot. Snuggling as close as you can, you sleep almost immediately with your head on his shoulder. Jungkook chuckled at the sight. You sleep so easily. Be it on the bed or in a moving car, you are unfazed.
The first time you went on a road trip together, you fell asleep even before Jungkook gets to drive out of the city. The road trip was a lonely one for him because you slept all the way.Â
He is relieved, relieved that you laughed. You were fidgety and anxious with going back to your hometown before the flight and he is just really, really, really grateful that you had a good laugh just now.
He managed to take the stress off of your mind. Always.
âWhere is she, do you think she forgot, Kook? Do we have to get an Uber? Ugh, why is she not picking up her phone?â Punching your phone with your thumb, you texted your cousin, asking on her whereabouts.
Not that youâre ungrateful for having her coming down to pick you and Jungkook from the airport, but it would be much easier if she told you beforehand if somehow she couldnât make it. You wouldâve requested an Uber and youâre probably would be home by now.Â
âBabe, sit down, please. Maybe thereâs a heavy traffic or maybe she left her phone or something. Itâs not like weâre waiting for hours anyway. Itâs not even an hour yet. So, will you please, donât stressed out over this, hum?â Grabbing your hand, he patted on his lap, telling you to sit on him.
Engulfing his arm on your waist, he took a breath of your natural smell on your neck and leaving a kiss on the skin. For a married guy, Jungkook is still shameless with showing off his affection on you. Grabbing you, leaving kisses on your face, smelling you. To him itâs an announcement that this girl is mine.Â
He sneak a peek on your unanswered texts to your cousin. Seeing you used a lot of emojis and silly meme stickers in your previous conversation with her as youâre scrolling down.Â
Adorable ice queen. You rarely replied cute emojis with him. He pouts as he placed his chin on your shoulder. Feeling a little jealous with your cousin.
âNo reply yet?â The vibrating sound from Jungkook tickles you but since youâre still stressing over the unanswered text, you ignored it.
Heâs now feeling the jet lag starting to kick in. Resting his head on your shoulder, shutting his eyes. When he said you donât even need a comfortable bed to sleep on, well, it is the complete opposite for him. He just needs you.Â
A ping was heard indicating a new message on your phone, and you quickly checked it as a soft laugh coming out from your mouth. Laughing at the meme your cousin sent you. She apologized for not getting out of work earlier because now, she has to face the traffic.
As a truce for her mistake she bought you a dozen of your favorite donuts.Â
Jungkook flinched and scrunching his eyes as he felt a movement from you.
âHey. Sorry, baby.â You noticed the flinched and instantly place a kiss on his cheek. As a token of apology for waking him up. By the groggy grunts, you know heâs awake now. Guilt rushed in you because you know he hates jet lag as it always gets the best of him. Youâre scratching his scalp as your other hand is still holding your phone.
âSheâll be here in ten. Youâre right, sheâs caught in a traffic jam.â
Jungkook just hummed at that because all he wanted right now is to lay down next to you and have a good sleep. Smiling at your husband, you keep scratching the back of his head.
A habit you gained from living with Jungkook. He purrs like a kitten full with milk every time you do that. With one hand you replied to your cousin to just step on the gas like a daredevil she is.Â
Your cousin, Suri, is only one year older than you. Sheâs the mature cousin in many senses but it is always you who she runs to when life is being the big bad wolf.
Like the one when she had to tell her mom - your aunt, that she lost her earrings. They werenât just any earrings, it was inherited by your grandmama. Being the curious rebel, Suri took them from her mom jewelry box and showing them off at school.
What a way to go when she lost them during recess. In panic, she dragged you and both of you spent hours searching for them in the school yard, at the field (she doesnât even went to the field), at the cafeteria, basically every nook and cranny of your high school.Â
Living just a few houses away, you and Suri were practically attached at the hip, always hanging out together after school, so nobody really questioned why you and Suri was late on that day.
The search was fruitless. Finally she decided to come clean at her mom, which was your earliest idea before the both you dipped your heads into the bushes.
Staying by her side, you comforted her by holding her hand. She was scared shitless and as expected she got a âgoodâ earful nagging from your lovely aunt. But you still stayed by her side, only leaving when she fell asleep, with wet pillow because of the tears and snot.Â
Just like highschool, right now you feel the need to be by her side in facing the divorce of her parents. She acted like she was fine when you called last week, from her defeated voice, you know. You know her probably better than she knows herself.Â
She was the one who found out that her dad is cheating on her mom. She kept it to herself for months. Months!
Not telling a soul because sheâs giving her dad a time or a chance to make things right. Her dad, doesnât even know his daughter knew. Perhaps she was in denial but not until she broke the news to you. You advised her that she should tell her mom.
Well, clearly she did took your advice because now everyone is here to support your aunt and your cousin.Â
From far you can hear a screeching sound which you donât have to listen carefully to know that it belongs to Suri. Sheâs loud. Even Jungkook is wide awake now. Blinking like Bambi with his big eyes, his hands are still on your hips. He looks so adorable you canât help but planting kisses on his nose and his cheeks.
âIâm sorry you have to wake up now. I promise you will have the most wonderful rest at grandmaâs. But for now we have to settle with Suriâs car, yeah?â Whispering softly as if you could break him if you speak too loud.
Jungkook just looks so fragile when woken up from a nap. Youâre not sure if he managed to catch all the words you just said because he keeps blinking with a slightly parted mouth. Youâre so tempted to kiss him silly when suddenly somebody tap your head from the back. Itâs Suri.Â
âDamn, did I just cockblocked you from kissing him?â She said with a smirk on her face. Her short hair really does look better in person, she was so unsure during your facetime, feeling it would make her head look big.
Getting up from Jungkook, you give her a tight bear hug.
Feeling ignored, Jungkook grabs the end of his hoodie that youâre still wearing.
âOh Jungkook, my brother! How are you? Man, look at this healthy long black hair. What did you feed him? He looks more buff nowâ She patted his shoulder like he is her little brother, looking amused at his hair.
âKeep it longer boy, your wife has a long hair kink.â She sends you a wink as if whatever that she just spilled is normal.Â
Jungkook tilt his head to you with a wide grin on his face.
âI know, she just doesnât want to let go of them, her hair pulling game is getting stronger,â he chuckles. He noticed that you have become a lot more touchy especially on his hair ever since he let it grow, long enough to cover his eyes.
And not to mention how you keep on pulling them like your life is hanging on it during your heated sessions. Suri just clapped in amaze at Jungkookâs reply.
The ride was a peaceful one, perhaps Suri is as tired as you are. It's relatively far from the airport to your grandmaâs.
You keep glancing out the window to stare at the view. The street is still so familiar with nothing much has changed. Sitting on the passenger seat, youâre devouring the donut from your favorite bakery like a madman because theyâre still taste the same. You save some for Jungkook since he already passed out at the back seat.Â
The picture of you sitting next to Suri surely brings back your young adulthood memories. Only now with an additional passenger at the back.Â
You turn to check on him from time to time. He looks so adorable, you covered him with his hoodie after you took it off from you and his head leans on the window. Suri noticing you keep glancing back, smiles fondly.
âYou can sleep with him at the back.â Suri breaks the serenity that lingered in the car.
âNo, itâs fine. Heâs fine.â Pulling your left leg closer until your knee reaches your chest. A habit of yours every time youâre in a car.
âSeriously, you keep glancing at him like a mom watching her baby sleeps. Does he really can only sleep with you being near to him though?âÂ
âYeah, he told me he was completely fine with sleeping alone before he met me. But he couldnât anymore now.â Smiling so wide you remembered the night Jungkook confessed that.
Suri cooed and dramatically clenched her fist on her chest. âHeâs romantic. You used to despise these hopeless romanticsâÂ
âKeyword, used to.âÂ
Both of you and Suri let out a small laugh, and the smile on her face faded before she let out a sigh. âI missed you. You have no idea how bad it was for me to deal with this shit all by myself.â
You put your hand on her shoulder to comfort her. You know it wonât bring much difference but what else can you do?
âMy dad is so stupid, Iâm telling you. He asked me to check for his PayPal account when his mistress is still texting him at that time. Imagine how fucked up it was for me? I had to pretend I saw none of her filthy texts.â Suri speaks in a low voice, sounded defeated.Â
âI almost broke up with my boyfriend. I keep thinking his âI love youâs is as fake as my dadâs when he used it to my mom.â She rubs the bridge of her nose and you listen to her, letting her venting out all of the frustration that she couldnât do through a video call.
âMy mom acted like sheâs fine and all. She told me she saw it coming. But she didnât say shit because of me. How stupid. Itâs not like I am a teenager. Hell, they shouldâve part ways when we were in high school. At least I get to hang out with the kids from the âdivorced parentsâ club.âÂ
âNo, you were banned from joining clubs because you made a bad joke to one of them kids." Youâre trying to lighten up the mood. But it was an exaggerated statement.
âFuck, yeah I forgot about that one. Well, ainât I was a troubled child, the sign of a messed up parenting was already there,â
You laugh at that and as the laughter died down, Suri looks at Jungkook through the rear-view mirror for a few seconds before her soft gaze falls on you.
âI pray he treats you right, I pray that your love will never fade. I donât think I want to get married, not now at least. Love sucks but seeing you two, Lilo, looking this happy, makes me wanna believe in it again.âÂ
âLilo? I havenât heard that nickname in a long time. You either sappy or drunk to call me that,â you giggles at your cousin. Intentionally ignoring the heavy mood because you hate it when your cousin is sad and brooding. Like sheâs giving up.
âSee, this is what I meant. You, was never serious about love, you hated it more than I do. I thought youâre pranking me when you told me about him. It was me who was in a long relationship but look whoâs wearing the ring now,â she slightly punch your shoulder as the car stopped at the red light.Â
Unbeknownst to you, the passenger in the back seat is listening to your conversations.Â
Jungkook was half awake after he heard laughters and giggles coming from you and Suri. He wants to fall back to sleep but he decided to listen more when you told Suri he couldnât sleep without you.
Jungkook blushed under his hoodie that he had to pulled to cover his face. He knows he shouldnât eavesdrop on your conversations with your cousin. Since it sounded intimate when Suri talked to you in a low tone.Â
But then again, he couldnât bring himself to sleep after Suri called you Lilo. He never heard of that name before, and he made a mental note to ask you about it later.
Heâs eager to listen more as you and Suri are talking about him right now. When Suri said she prays he treats you right, he wanted to profusely said yes, yes he always hope heâs treating you right. Always trying to be the right man for you, thatâs all he wanna be.Â
He couldnât calm his wild heart when he heard his name coming from you, speaking softly.
âJungkook, is so endearing. Iâm sure he had it rough when he first met me. I was mean to him. I shut him out. But he keeps coming back, keep asking me to let him love me properly. Truthfully, at first I was annoyed. I told him he likes the idea of me, not the real me. I keep telling him that he would hate me at the end of the day,â you sigh, thinking back to the day you left him with a hurtful looks on his face.Â
Jungkook is screaming internally. No I would never hate you, I canât hate you.Â
He wants to hold you so bad right now. Scrunching his eyes with a heavy exhale coming out of his nose. Jungkook knows his love story wasnât the greatest love story ever told but it was the most beautiful journey he ever walked into.
From meeting you, getting to know you, rejected by you, multiple times, to the day you finally let him in. And he is still learning new things with you. His heart breaks a little when you think of it that way, because he never thought he had it rough, he never thought of you being mean to him.Â
âBut he accepts me, all of me. I have no idea how to love so he asked me to learn it together with him. Saying yes to marrying him probably seems reckless and rushing to some but out of so many unsure things in my life, being with him isnât one of that. Now he has become my home, my wings, my loverâÂ
Jungkook teared up at your confession. You rarely are the first one to show affection but he knows. He always does.Â
After almost an hour drive, Suri slowed the car on the familiar residency. Pulling up her car in front of the beige house, you straighten up your back as you can see a few cars already parked neatly, along the street to your grandmaâs house.
The beige coloured wall looks new yet you still recognize it as the house you used to reside when you were a little girl. You noticed familiar figures. Looks like everyoneâs here already.
You glanced back and saw Jungkook stretching his arm as his mouth widely opened with a yawn. Suri is already out of the car hugging your other cousins. You help Jungkook fixing his hair and coming out of the car together, before they practically swarms you and engulf you in a big hug.Â
Jungkook can feel the warmth from the interactions he got. He really feels bad for not staying longer after the wedding. Otherwise he will get to know your family a bit better. He was awkward at first, but your uncles and aunts didnât treat him like a stranger and everything that youâre stressed about for weeks disappeared into thin air.
The unnecessary thoughts you and Jungkook had about meeting your Grandmama also gone too.Â
Grandmama loves him, she may be slightly senile as she couldnât quite remember people but she is so comfortable with Jungkook. Oh your grandma, the wrinkles on her skin, her hearing and eyesight are starting to deteriorate.
The moment you walked into the door, you saw her on her favorite couch, kneeling next to her legs, you put your hands on her knees. Informing her that you have arrived safely. She couldnât hear you properly so Suri told you to speak a little louder.
She hardly recognize you which breaks your heart but itâs partly your fault. You shouldâve visited her often.Â
Jungkook who was sitting next to you just looks at you and your grandma. Fondness filled in his eyes when he saw your thumb rubs circle on your Grandmamaâs knee.Â
An act Jungkook always does to you. You introduced Jungkook to her and ever as polite your husband his, he stretched out his both of his hands to your grandma. She held his hand as Jungkook told her that he is your husband.
âLilo? Liloâs husband?â Grandmama asking for a confirmation at Jungkook. Jungkook kneels closer to her because she hasnât let go of his hand. With as much energy her frail body can give, she squeezes his hand. âLilo, you happy?â Grandmama turns to you as her other hand patted your head.
âYes, grandma. Very happy.â
Fighting the tears from rolling down your face. This whole situation is very emotional because itâs like sheâs giving your marriage a blessing. You regretted for not coming earlier. Jungkook notices how emotional youâve become and he gives you a reassuring smile.
âLilo makes me happy, grandma. Iâm sorry for not visiting you sooner,â Jungkook squeezed back your grandmaâs hand and your heart swelled at him using your childhood nickname.Â
The night went so well after the emotional reunion.Â
The thing about your big family is nobody is left out. Itâs loud because everyone get to talk. Even the shy Jungkook is included. Jungkook have no idea kids love him. The only little kids interaction he managed to survive is Yuna, Taehyungâs baby.
Watching from the kitchen window, you can see your cousinâs children are following him like ducklings, the sight is very endearing.
He is good with kids, he just didnât know that. He has a lot of stamina to match up with the kidsâ energetic nature. He had his rest on the way, and now he is walking around while holding an infant.
You instantly think that he would be an amazing dad.Â
âThinking of having one of those?â Suri speaks up from behind you. Her eyes glued on the kids chasing Jungkook at the yard.
Grandmama once told that Grandpapa wants a big yard for kids to run freely. Now it serves its purpose.
âWe havenât fully discuss about it yet, but we did talked âbout itâ Your feel your stomach doing a back flip because the idea of mini you and Jungkook running around in the house, tiny hands and feet, giggles and gurgles are so, so, so tempting but youâre not sure if Jungkook wants that as much as you do.
Your marriage is still on the early stage.Â
As if Suri can read your mind she turns to you to help you stacked up the clean plates. âWhatâs there to discuss? If you both want kids, then let it happen. Iâm pretty sure Jungkook wants them as much as you do.âÂ
Biting your lower lip, thinking how should you break your desire to Jungkook. âYea, I guess.â Turning off the faucet, you and Suri walks to the living room.
You and Jungkook decided to stay a night at your grandmaâs before spending the rest of the week at your parentsâ house. Jungkook feels like he has a lot to catch up with Grandmama. But since itâs already late into the night and Grandmama needs her rest, Jungkook would have to settle down with you and spend the day with her tomorrow.Â
Jungkook was given a mini tour of the house before you stopped at your used to be bedroom. It wasnât big now but it felt huge when you were a little kid.Â
You took a shower first before Jungkook because that man takes forever when heâs in the bathroom. Seriously, he could spend an hour doing whatever it is inside it.Â
After showering, you sprawl on the cozy bed. Looks like someone been tidying the room, you might have to ask Suri later. You turn around to face Jungkook who is sitting on the edge of the bed.
âBabe, câmere please, I need you,â you groggily calling him. Jungkook chuckles softly as he crawls hastily to you. Like a dog being offered the bone. This sight could be mistaken as lust but right now, with his bunny grin and and bouncy long hair? He is just so adorable.Â
âOkay Lilo, tell me, why am I just found out about Lilo now? Lilo?â Raising his brows as he hovers above you. You let out a soft giggles as you place your hands on his chest, creating a space between you and he pouted at that.
âTruthfully I forgot about that name. Because, only my closest family call me that.â Jungkook hums at that and you can feel the vibration from his chest.
âBack off Kook, youâre suffocating me.â
He whines when you pushed him but he clings back to you like a koala on your side. His legs trapping your legs as his hand sprawled on your stomach.Â
âWhy Lilo?â He speaks softly.
Confused at your husband sudden ministrations, your turns to face him. âWhy are you suddenly so clingy?â You raise one brow to him before he tightens his hold on your stomach. Leaving wet smooches on your neck, your jaw and your cheek.
âLet me love my wife. Come on, you didnât answer me. Why Lilo? Is it related to Lilo and Stitch?â
You place your hand on his cheek.Â
"Yes, it is indeed related to Lilo and Stitch. They call me Lilo because I⌠Okay promise you wonât laugh first.â You giggle thinking about the silly reason behind your nickname.
âWhat, babe. Donât keep me hanging. I wonât laugh.âÂ
Propping his hand, he grabs you closer. âStop giggling, tell me.â Jungkook pinches your cheek with his other hand.
âItâs because I used to make voodoos with spoons. Just like Lilo.â You cover your face with your hands. Jungkook lets out the loudest laugh and after realizing that maybe youâre embarrassed by that, he toned it down a little.
âYou promised you wonât laugh! Asshole." You smack his arm.
âI said I wonât laugh, I didn't promise anything,â he talks back at you while sticking his tongue out.
âTrying to be a smartass now? Get away from me, Iâm sleeping with grandmaâ You wiggle your body so you could get out from his leg. He laughs even harder as he tightens his hold, not wanting to let you go.
âAwe but why? Tell me more? How did you do it, voodoo queenâÂ
Jungkook pulls your hands that covered your face, and he kisses the fingers and your palms.
âKids were mean to me, telling me that my parents doesnât love me, because Iâm living with grandma and grandpa. So, coming home after school, I would grab a spoon and draw a face on it with crayons. Stop snickering Jungkook, it was so hard for me back then.â You pouted at him.Â
âAwe Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry you had a rough childhood. My poor baby,â he patted your hair like heâs coaxing a child. âWho are they? Want me to beat them? I have black belt in taekwondo, let me use my strength.â He said with a serious face. He wouldnât.
âJungkook it was a long time ago, and we were kids,â you smile fondly at him, feeling protected though you know he has the softest heart of them all.Â
âI forgot their names let alone their faces. Never choose violence, Kook, what if some kids bullied our babies, you're gonna beat them?â You trace your finger on his tensed brows, and theyâre soften at your touch.
Actually his whole face softened and lit up simultaneously at your remarks.
âOur babies?" he utter. The words rolling on his tongue so smoothly.
"Say it again, love.â He nuzzles his nose on your neck. Oh, the idea of having a baby with you, drives him wild.Â
You on the other hand is giggling at his actions, youâre a bit ticklish on your neck. And when he bites and sucks the sensitive skin, you let out a breathy moan âOur-babiesâ. Damn Jeon Jungkook.
âKook,â you speak as softly as you can.
âHmm,â he lapped on the abused area, purple and dark pink are subtly forming and surely they will be darker marks by tomorrow morning.
Still latching on your neck he pulls himself with one hand holding him up, the other hand is roaming your body. From your arms, to your belly, before settling by the hip. His thumb is caressing your soft skin.
His dark wavy locks is tickling your chin and you had enough, grabbing his face with both hands as you bring him closer. Noses touching and his lips are wet from biting, with hooded eyes but still carrying the fondness in them, his breathing is becoming more labored and so do you.
âWe shouldnât, Grandmama is sleeping next door,â you either telling that to him or to yourself because from the way youâre licking your lower lip, you donât want him to stop.
Jungkook knows you, you wanted him to convince you that whatever youâre about to do is okay, he will be the bad guy for you.
âGrandmamaâs hearing is a bit-â before he can finish you smacked his chest.
âDonât say it, itâs the age factor. Donât be so mean!â You whisper harshly.
âOuch, okay Iâm sorry, I shouldnât put it that way, but she wonât wake up. Weâre not gonna bother her." He assumed.
"So, you my darling, have to be quiet,â he smirks as he winks at you.Â
âYeah? Kiss me already,â you pulls him down so his lips crash on yours. It is lustful, it is messy, but Jungkook always takes it slow. Heâs a bit sentimental when it comes to making love with you.
Youâre so different, you want it hard. Biting his lower lip as you tug it, a silent pleading for him to move faster. He chuckles at your impatience.
âAlways rushing, princess. Iâm not going anywhere.â His tongue skillfully breaking into your mouth, dominating the kiss. You let him. Your hand which was on his neck now grabbing his hair.
Feeling his soft hair through your fingers before you pulled them. He moaned into your mouth and he pulls away, bearing his neck to you as he lets his head thrown back gravitating to your pull. Eyes closed and he looks like heâs high on ecstasy named you. âAhhh princess-â
âShh! Keep it down.â You immediately leaving marks on his neck and noticing the position is making you uncomfortable, you pushed him until he lays on his back. Straddling his lap, you dive back to his neck, continuing the abuse.
Jungkook canât keep his hands to himself as he quickly pulling up your shirt with struggle as youâre both are chest to chest. He rested his palm on your belly before grabbing your breast. He kneads the soft flesh and it illicit another moan from you. What a sight for Jungkook. You arched your back and gasped at the feeling of his dick poking your ass. Hard. Shakily putting your hands on his chest, you grind on his dick.Â
Jungkook almost cum in his pajama pants at this feeling. The view of you getting off on his clothed member, is making him insane. Your hips moving forward and backward making a tasty fraction, it feels good but it is not enough.
You keep biting your lips until it becomes swollen, and he swears he can feel you soaking your panties already with the wet feeling he felt. âCome on baby, cum like this,â He commands with a deep voice.
âNnggh- Kook, I canât- need youâ You scrunch your eyes and your movements is getting slower. Youâre exhausted.
âYes, you can. Come on baby, come on.â Jungkook gritted his teeth as he can feel your ass snug his dick perfectly. Noticing that your movement is getting faltered, he grips on your hips, and helps you picking up the pace. Surely will leave another bruising marks there. You whimper because the sensation is overwhelming.
Feeling the knot under your stomach is getting tighter and your pussy keeps on clenching on nothing. Only letting out more gush of slick.
"Ahh Kook, close! Iâm cumin-â the knot snapped and all you can see is white. Your breathing is getting more erratic before you completely fell down to his chest. He rubs you back lovingly but his hard dick is still poking you.
Jungkook prioritize your desire first before his and he kisses your head softly. With limping hands you got up pressing his chest once again.
âTake it off, take it all off,â your fingers grabbing the hem of his shirt and pull the material off while he frantically pushing down his pants and his boxer. He helps you taking off your bra as well before he starts swirling his lips on your perk nipple.
A tug and you moan deliciously, he moves on to you other nipple, paying as much attention as he did with the first one. He throw off your pants and panties and god knows where they lands in this room.Â
Pulling you up, he leans on the headboard. He instantly plunged two fingers into your hole and youâre clenching so hard, making he whines. Itâs starting to get hot and steamy as you two letting out breathy moan. Still straddling him, you blindly grab his dick with your hand, pumping it up and down.
âEnough, just wanna be inside you, now!â Jungkook aligned his member to your hole. Putting your hands on his shoulders, you slowly sinking down on him.
Choking and moan in unison as you both adjust to the position. With head thrown back, you sob because Jungkook is big and no matter how many times you fuck, it still feels like your first time.Â
Sensing your discomfort he stays still.
âKook, why are you so big?â Youâre mumbling incoherent words.
âYeah? Iâm big? Taking my cock so well. Fuck, baby, youâre so tight. Come on baby, bounce on my cockâ he grunts as your walls keeps on fluttering. His rolling hips and his dirty talks are making you seeing stars. A whining mess and your cunt is clenching him like a vice.
âStop clenching so hard baby, I might cum soon, we don���t want that, right?â he warns with a bite on your shoulders and he switches the position with you now laying on your back, dick still hard inside you.
He keeps up the pace and moaned so loud as he can see the way his dick pistons in and out of your pussy.
âCreamed so hard on my cock, baby, youâre so wonderful.â His hands on your waist with your heels digging his ass.
âFaster, faster. Please, please, please,â youâre chanting, ignoring that somebody might hear you because Jungkook is hitting it right.Â
The squeaking bed and the loud skin slap are echoing in the room.
So much of keeping quiet.
âFuck, youâre so beautiful. Baby, letâs have kids, huh. Letâs have them,â he spreads his palm on your lower belly. Already thinking you carrying a child, his child, how you would look like with a swollen belly.
Fuck, motherhood would look good you. With that thought he trusts harder and faster. You whine and scratch his back as the pace was intensified. Jungkook hiss on both sensation, the sting on his back and how your walls grip his dick tighter at the mention of having a kid.
âYes, yes, yes. Letâs have a baby- nnnghh Kook, shit shitâ Your body jolted when Jungkook suddenly flicks his thumb at your clit. Pushing you to the edge. And you trashed so wild under him as you feel your bliss is approaching.
âCumming- Baby Iâm cumming nghhh Kook, donât stopâ letting him know before you finally let go. Feeling buzzed as Jungkook keep on trusting in and out of you, dragging your high.
âGonna cum in so deep, gonna make make you swole with a baby. Mine, mine, all mineâ Jungkook chanted as his pace is getting sloppy, chasing his own high. Warm ribbons of cum spurted inside your pussy as you milk him dry.Â
The only sounds that youâre hearing right now is a buzzing, and how you two are breathing so heavily. He falls down next to you with his arm snaking around your waist. His breathing is fanning your neck before he left a kiss on your cheek. You're pushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead while he also helps you with your untangled hair.
âIâm serious,â Jungkook grabs your chin to make you look at him. Gone already the lust and the dark in his eyes, now replaced with pools of galaxies.
âAbout having a baby?" You asked.
"Yeah, me too,â you smile sweetly at him and he grins so wide, if you could list the most beautiful look on Jeon Jungkookâs face, one of it was when you said yes after he proposed. When you walked down the aisle, your first sex with him, and right now.
âThank you, baby. You have no idea how happy I am right now,â he kisses your whole face.
âI thought you donât want kids yet, since, well, since we never really discuss about it seriously.â You said softly, putting your head on his chest with finger tracing the skin. In contrast to your heated session, after sex is always soft and calm.
âYou silly, of course I want them. I thought youâre the one who is not ready yet, because yea, I never wear condom whenever we made love, but youâre always on the pills, so I assumed you donât want one, yet, and I also donât wanna push you,â he whispers softly. You sigh, the way he uses the words âmade loveâ and not sex. Instead of âletâs fuckâ itâs âlet me love youâ, and how can you not keep falling for this man. He is disgustingly nerdy and sweet and lovely.
âI will consult my doctor for the pills and we start from there okay?â You glance up, making a promise to him and he nods excitedly like a child.
âCome on up, pee-pee first. Always pee after love making.â Jungkook patted on your bare ass before he got up to carry you to the bathroom.Â
Usually youâre woken up everyday to a big pair of warm hands rubbing circles either on your back or on your belly. Some mornings, the same hands just played with your head, the long fingers ran through the hair with a little pressure. Massaging the scalp. Some mornings, the hands get extra playful when they tickled your nose, your neck, your waist, poking the inside of your ears or pinched your cheeks.
These assaults always resulted in the owner of the hands winning. How can you beat the strength of a man with doe eyes, silly bunny grins and his boyish laugh?
His laugh booming in the room like a heavenly sound. But today, you woke up on your own. No hands. No head massage. No tickles.
Where is your husband? Is he showering? Thereâs no sound of water hitting the tiles. His phone is still charging by the bedside, he never let go of his phone. Strange.Â
You freshened up before you leave the room to check on grandmama. But sheâs not in her room too, well, considering the time and sheâs an early riser, sheâs probably somewhere around the house anyway.
Just as you thought you were left alone, you heard a very familiar giggles. They come from the outside of the house, and your feet are following the sounds.
A smile adorns on your face as you can see the backs of the most important people in your life sitting side by side. Both of them are facing the backyard garden.
You come closer and you can clearly see her wrinkled hands on top of his. He pulled his head back and laughing like a little kid, while she held onto his hands lovingly. Her laugh, though soft, can be heard along with his.Â
You wanted to soak this moment in your brain so you could remember this for years and years. How the morning sunshine makes everything more picturesque, how his broad shoulders shakes when he laughs, how she leans on a chair, as old as she is.
Her brown chair, bought along with his husbandâs big chair. The spot which was left empty ever since he passed away, and you wonder how lonely it is for her to be sitting there alone every morning and every evening.
You stood silently by the sliding door, not wanting to break the moment as so many sentimental memories flooding your mind.Â
âHey, babe? Good morning,â said the man as he turns around to face you. Wide smile on his face, post-laughing puffy cheeks.
âGood morning, Liloâ said another voice as she struggles to turn around. You donât want her to strain her back so you immediately move to sit next to her legs. Kneeling closer like you always did, like a little girl listening to her favorite stories, you place your palm on her knees.
âGood morning, Grandmama. You had a good sleep?â Still not used to speaking louder to her. Brushing your hair she smiles fondly, âyes, yesâ
âWhereâs my good morning?â Pouted the man next to her.Â
âYes, Jungkook. Good morning to you too,â you roll your eyes playfully.Â
If itâs not Grandmamaâs hands holding him, Jungkook would have touched you, peppering you with kisses because it is his morning routine.Â
But he woke up early today, because he guessed Grandmama is already up and he wanted to spend time with her. He was right, the moment he stepped out of the room, Grandmama was walking slowly to the chair outside of the house.
The lady who Jungkook assumed as the maid which Suri told you about last night, is plating a tray of toast and tea for her.Â
Jungkook moves to help Grandmama settles on her chair before she insisted him to sit next to her.Â
âThatâs Grandpapaâs chair.â You jutting your chin at him, whispering but he can still hear you.
âReally?â Jungkook flustered because Grandmama really insisted him to sit on it and now knowing that this seat belongs to Grandpapa, he feels even more honored.Â
âWhat are you two laughing about just now?â You glanced up to face your grandma with big eyes. Grandmama just chuckles and you can see your husband is biting his lips trying to hold back his laughter.
âJust, reminiscing old memories, sweetheart,â Grandmama replied.Â
âApparently, someone really hates wearing pants since she was a little girl. Humm, Grandmama did you know she still refuses to wear pants sometimes?â Jungkook leans closer to Grandmamaâs ears as if they both are sharing some secrets. Pretending that youâre not even there.
With shocking wide eyes and gaping mouth, you knew exactly who is that little girl. Itâs you. Grandmama just told Jungkook about your unhealthy habit, great, now Jeon Jungkook can collect another material into his teasing box.
âDid not!â You gasp and giving your Grandmama a betrayal look.Â
âWhat was sheâs like back then? Running around naked? Sheâs a wild one isnât she?â Both of them are ignoring you and Jungkook keep on firing questions to Grandmama.
Youâre pretty sure the blush on your cheeks are from controlling the anger you have towards your husband right now. Definitely not because of embarrassing. Nope.
Seeing Grandmama laughing at both of you is making your heart swell. Your eyes land on her hands that has been holding Jungkookâs ever since you saw them. You were worried for nothing, and guilt is starting to creep on you as you were initially do not plan on bringing Jungkook along.Â
Because first, youâre worried for him. Jungkook is not used to your family which is again, your fault. You didnât properly introduce him to your family, not traditionally-proper. Itâs not like youâre breaking the norms or rebelling or anything. Itâs just you donât feel that is necessary.
As long as you love each other, thatâs all that matters. But you worried nevertheless. Worried they might not include him, what if Jungkook is uncomfortable because, dear god, Jungkook will never let you know if heâs feeling bothered. Very much like you, now taste your own medicine.
Secondly, itâs Grandmama, she has never met Jungkook, and yes, she is lovely but what if she suddenly doesnât approve of him? That would break his heart.Â
Now you realize that youâre worried for nothing, everyone loves him. How can they not?Â
âI wanna take a short nap, you two can stay here.â Your Grandmama reaches for her cane as her wobbly legs trying to stand up. The maid rushed out to help her before Jungkook was about to carry her himself.
âYou donât have to carry and old lady like me, just carry your wife,â your Grandmama chuckles as she slowly walks back to her room.Â
Jungkook rubs the back of his neck and sigh, he doesnât mind carrying Grandmama. He once saw his dad carried his grandma on his back and he wanted to do that too. Shifting his gaze back on you who is still staring at him.
âHey, the girl who hates pants,â Jungkook smirks cheekily. Here comes your Jungkook. âWow I have no idea you hate pants. No wonder you donât wanna wear one all the time. Oh wow,â he faked gasp at the fact. Mocking you.
âI will burn all of your pants the moment we got back, Kook,â words are seething through your teeth as you faked threatening him.Â
âI donât mind that, we can be pant-less together,â Jungkook leans back to the chair as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath of the morning air.Â
You're sitting next to him, only managed to stare at his beauty.
âStop staring and come closer, please. Iâm yours, you can touch me.â He said. Of course he caught you staring at him.
âI didnât stare!â You blush.
âPut your head on my shoulder. Let me bask in this glory morning with my wife,â Jungkook speaks softly as he pulls your head closer to his shoulder. And you let him.
Feeling his steady breathing, cold cups of tea, half eaten toast, his humming of an unknown song, his hands on top of yours, a kiss on your head, and you really deeply seriously madly in love with this man.Â
âBy the way, Grandmama heard us last night, she said good job and she wants to see great-grandchildren real soon,â Jungkook said in a monotonous voice as if itâs nothing.Â
Well, shit.
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