#but I’ve replayed it several times recently and every time I do I’m like. No I still think this is in the text

[ezdotjpg]

wait I have one more ramble in me. botw shows how pinning all of the fate of the world on two chosen ones is maybe a terrible idea, both for how it affects the chosen ones and how it leaves the world doomed if they fail. and it lets them fail! it comes this close to questioning if things have to even be like this at all, if we have to follow what the legends say. but then it can’t really go the full mile, bc this is still a loz game, and you’re playing as link, and only you can defeat the calamity.

but I still think it manages to shake the table in an interesting way. you don’t need the master sword, you can use any old weapon. you can meander around aimlessly forever and leave hyrule doomed if you choose to play that way, and you don’t run out of things to do. your friends (in a more direct manner I feel like than past sages) can do SIGNIFICANT damage to calamity ganon before you even touch him. It feels less like your divine duty and more like you’re righting a past wrong. some of that is a consequence of the new looser open world format but it’s still in the game! It still has story and thematic implications to me! i think maybe that’s another reason why the shift in tone abt how totk talks abt link irks me lol

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Review of Dragon Age the Veilguard

First off, right off the bat, I’m putting out there I am foremost a story person. Give me a good story and I’m happy. Then it’s graphics, gameplay (by which I mean do I think it is very replayable), then combat.

So positives first for me:

Story: I love the story. It’s a little cliche and a bit silly but it’s so much fun. Besides it’s not like Dragon Age has ever not been a bit cliche. Secret bastard son of the king saving his homeland. Frosty witch with a secret sensitive side. Assassin who wants out. These were in the FIRST game. I very much enjoyed it and the lore we were given. I actually went ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ out loud multiple times and had a blast through the whole thing. I actually dropped my controller in shock during the final battles because of several moments.

I’ve seen complaints about the writing being ‘MCU’ but honestly I just recently replayed the first three, and this is the same to me. It’s actually better to me then Inquisition which I found so boring. No really, Inquisition was the weakest to me character and writing wise. It felt so flat but Veilguard brings back the spark that Origins and DA2 had. This sort of ‘we need to get people together and save the world despite the odds’ spark.

Characters: I love every single one of them and am already starting more playthroughs so I can ROMANCE THEM ALL. Some may not be your cup of tea but honestly a lot of the hate I notice tends to be the weird feminist ‘you have to be serious’ tone, the ‘I don’t like anything cheery’ type, transphobes or racists. The actual critical takes I find tend to veer on the usual bullshit of the writers in general. (Such as Taash apparently having to choose between two cultures and how their gender is handled. Which fair. I love their gender storyline but it isn’t the greatest story)

The characters are very dynamic and fun to get to know. I didn’t care about Harding in Inquisition but I love her here. It’s just so much fun.

Character Creator: This is honestly the best one I’ve seen yet. I know everyone loved BG3 and how they do it but Veilguard BLOWS it out of the water. Just so many options and things to do.

Plus as a side note you can choose to be nonbinary or trans and it has an affect. It is so cool. I loved my Rook talking about their gender.

Combat: Oh man this is weird for me but I love this combat. Let’s be real- tactical stuff in the past games were clunky and off. A lot of Origin purists say DAO was the best but who ACTUALLY used half the stuff? Like traps? Maybe a fair few but the majority didn’t. The whole series so far had been button mashing for me. Here? Nope! It’s a lot more complex for me and makes me actually think. I love it.

Puzzles: One person I saw said they were to simple. My response is that the early ones were but they sure ain’t later on. Took me forty minutes to figure out one. It’s awesome.

Gameplay: FUN! Just everything about it is so nice and I love it. It’s not annoying to do, it’s simple once you get used to it and honestly I like how the missions are set up. I do think it is very replayable as a whole.

The Ending: I FUCKING LOVE THE ENDING IT IS SO DAMN COOL. I dropped my controller during it, I gasped, I cheered (totally guessed one plot twist but DAMN did not expect the very end) and HOLY SHIT it was SO GOOD.

Now the negatives.

Story: There’s a lot of sanitization of the Crows. The Crows are canonly assassins who buy a lot of their recruits and brutally train them to become Crows. It is not nice unless maybe your family are Crows and you’re treated nicely. Even then, Lucanis canonly was beaten by his grandmother during training and other things.

Also, I did not like how my Rook Laidir suddenly talked about being a galley slave. It was confusing as that was never brought up before. If they’d included it in the description it would have been better. So I’m headcanoning something different for Andy Laidir. I think this is just an over sight, but it is off putting for me that it’s suddenly said once then vanishes.

There's also a few things with how story progression goes. It feels a bit to fast in some moments, and to slow in others. I think that they had to many ideas, but I'll talk about that in the factions section.

Characters: While I love their story line I think Taash could have done better if there was less ‘choose between being Rivaini or Qunari’. Like having a disconnect from your culture is understandable but I felt it was to… ‘you must conform or reject’. That’s not how it goes.

As well the discussion of gender was fairly Western specific which isn’t true across all cultures. It would have been interesting to explore it more and with Taash also wondering about the Qunari version of gender as why they don’t feel right.

I’m also semi kinda upset with how Davrin kept getting the same ‘intro’ scene to his quests a bit. Just him carving something. It was recycled to me and compared to the others… kinda felt off.

Also, while I love him, Lucanis' romance isn't my favourite. It's very slow burn and while nice, I felt that it was to much of a slow burn in the end, where it's just them kissing and a few words of love. I haven't been spoiled about the others too much, but he feels very lacklustre. But it might just be me there. I will defend it saying it isn't bad, but for me? Not my cup of tea.

I'm also disapointed with Isabela's cameo. While YES WE SEE HER, I do romance her with Hawke often and I can't believe any of my Hawkes who did (and lived) are't with her causing chaos. Plus for fuck sakes she gets some generic outfit but Morrigan gets a super special one? Really?

Combat: While I love it, I think they made the dragons to OP. It’s really hard to get close and fight them. Of course I am not a combat person so it may just be I’m bad at it. I do think some of the 'being shoved backward' moments could have been done better as well.

Gameplay: Okay so… I think the choice to have Varric narrate things wasn’t ‘bad’ but they really went to spoiler filled in some. Like dude, don’t SAY that?!? I don’t get to eagerly wait in suspense now, I know what’s going on. That’s not fun. Boo!

Also the animations for opening chests was annoying.

Factions: I feel this is another kinda let down. I truly believe the only four that mattered were Veil Jumpers, Shadow Dragons, Crows and Grey Wardens. Plus I felt again a lot of this is sanitized. The Crows are not a good organization. Sure they basically are the Antivan military but they’re assassins who buy their recruits half the time. Lords of Fortune are pirates and treasure hunters. They're not 'good' people.

This really ties into my thoughts on progression: we could have done away with the Lords and the Mourn Watch to focus only on the four factions and it would have been amazing. Probably would have had better pacing for the plot to. While it was so cool to see these places, in the end it would haven't taken away from the main plot by just not having them be around.

However- despite my negatives, and despite my issues?

This game is a solid 8.7/10. It was truly 9.5/10 for most of the game, but by the end, I did find that I was a bit dissatisfied with some things. However, the game is genuinely amazing. It's a call back to the original 'rag-tag bunch of losers go and save the day' and has elements of Mass Effect 2 I adore.

Solid game, if you loved Origins, DA2 and even some elements of Inquisition, go for it. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it sure as hell is mine.

[misc-obeyme]

just a thought, but have you ever considered solomon and mc ACTUALLY getting married, or maybe getting engaged if we were to soften the blow a bit for the rest of the crew??? bc w everything going on in nightbringer, solomon and mc getting closer, “””jokes””” about them being a married couple, and solomon deadass admitting he prefers to keep things as it is now without the brothers getting in his way😭😭😭i wouldn’t be surprised if solomon actually got on his knee and popped a ring, he gotta keep his pookie close🤞

now if solomon and mc were to ever become actually exclusive (instead of an openness within their relationship, unlike how mc has practically kissed each and every brother without making any statement about being official) how do you think that would that go over with the past versions of the cast? heck, to bring up the severity of this, what if solomon and mc finally getting thrown back into the present/future and that’s when everyone finds out about the engagement??

id like to think, depending on which timeline we’re going with, there’d be varied reactions but somewhat the same. i think past versions of the brothers would react….severely, especially when only they’re getting accustomed to being a demon. i mean, in the recent chap 22 (spoilers) mammon is slowly but surely growing into being the avatar of greed that he reacted very harshly when levi saved mc from falling. that alone, triggered mammon to turn into his demon form and threatened to fight everyone who laid a hand on mc💀the brothers couldn’t even handle him at the time. now, i’m a firm believer that a sensitive time such as that would only ensue in some crazy drama😭 it could only culminate in chaos. maybe who knows, the solomon hate train would start a millenial earlier.

but if we were to go with future/present brothers, it wouldn’t be anything drastic, physically at least. bc at least the brothers have fully grown into being demons and can control themselves. but that wouldn’t stop the pettiness that would transpire. they still care about mc, and to see mc obviously care and have this fondness over solomon that they all crave for, they wouldn’t lay a hand on him for mc’s sake. at least you can sleep well with that thought❤️ still, the hate for solomon would skyrocket to the heavens. they go from being distrustful and wary of solomon’s intentions to actually straight up being solomon’s main haters.

hmm hmm…i dunno. this could result in many varying scenarios. and at a time where mc goes missing from the present timeline and the brothers are most likely losing their minds without mc, only for them to come back and deliver the worst news……….low blow, really. but yk what would be the lowest blow? if mc was the one who proposed to solomon instead. anyways, not to sidetrack, but i like to think present lucifer would be in heavy denial for some time LMFAO the first time he’d hear about mc and solomon, luci is probably the type to just completely disregard it and—not act—truly believe that it’s not real, which this perception borders irrationally. with levi and especially mammon, they’re practically two beat up puppies. while levi would sulk and let his misery fester in the close quarters of his room, mammon would not hesitate to make his feelings of betrayal known out loud. the rest of the brothers would act on the same spectrum, utter heartbreak. even beel would sit mc down at times and have long conversations with them about their decision to be seriously romantically involved with a man like solomon.

i think it’d be devastating. they should be happy, but dont forget that they’re the avatars of the seven original sins.

ps: sorry for the long ramble😭 i’ve been thinking about this since replaying some of the chapters of nightbringer…so my characterization of the brothers might be off. and idk much about the side characters. i just don’t want to think about what barbatos would do.

You're good, anon! I will always encourage rambling in my ask box! I love hearing all your thoughts!

So okay, I've thought about marriage with all the characters a little bit, but I don't think I've actually seriously considered what everybody's reactions would be!

I do think Solomon has gotten more possessive and jealous in Nightbringer, but I also think this could be because he's expressing himself a little more freely than he did before. In the OG, I always felt like he was holding himself back because he genuinely believed that MC would never choose him. In Nightbringer, though, I think he's either finding it harder to do that because he lives with them now or he just doesn't want to keep backing off when he clearly loves MC so much. I could definitely see him asking MC to marry him if he thought it was a good time.

I also think the reactions would vary depending on timeline, as you said. And I fully agree with you - if it happened while they were in the past, as things are right now, it'd be absolute chaos. I don't think Solomon is dumb enough to do something like that. He seems pretty determined to get himself and MC back to their own time. And even if he really wants to marry MC, I think he wouldn't propose while they were in the past for the very reasons you list. The demons are not stable and it just isn't worth the risk.

Now, in the present/future timeline, I think things would be far safer for him to actually propose. The demons are more stable, MC isn't really dealing with anything that could change the course of their lives, all that stuff.

If we consider how it would go before MC was unceremoniously chucked into the past, I think that would be the most stable and least dangerous scenario. MC has been living with the brothers for a while, they haven't been exclusive with anyone, and they haven't made any promises to anyone about being exclusive. It's a little weird if we think of it in terms of the generic OM MC because that MC has definitely been involved with everybody at some point. But this would differ depending on different people's versions of MC. But going with the general MC, yeah, I think most of the brothers would be upset about it.

Like if MC is gonna marry someone, it should at least be one of their brothers, right?! I think all the brothers would be okay with it if MC married Lucifer, for instance. They'd be like annoyed it wasn't them, but also just... they get it, you know?

But Solomon? No way. Lucifer himself would lose his mind. Luci's dislike of Solomon might make him try to talk MC out of it. If Solomon asked for Luci's permission, he'd only make it worse. 'Cause Lucifer'd be like no, get out. And I agree, I think he'd be in denial about MC wanting to marry Solomon. I agree with your assessment of Levi and Mammon's reactions, too.

I think they'd all take it pretty hard, but in the end, I also think they'd come around to MC's decision.

Now if MC came back from the past and was all oh yeah I'm engaged to Solomon? Yeah, no that reaction would be INTENSE. I think MC should probably wait a while before telling them that. Let them get over the fact that MC just disappeared on them first.

And honestly, I think if MC proposed to Solomon instead, everything might go a little bit better. Because if Solomon is the one proposing, the brothers will see that as this shady sorcerer stole away our human and that's unacceptable. We can maybe talk MC out of this! We can maybe influence this choice if we complain enough!

But if MC is the one proposing, then they know that it was always MC's choice. They would see it less as Solomon influencing MC and more like MC came to the decision on their own. Just because they love Solomon. And while I think that would be more devastating for them and likely result in a lot of heartbreak, I think they'd be less likely to fight MC on it. Because in the end, they do want MC to be happy.

OH MAN I think past!Barbatos would not be pleased about such an arrangement! He hates Sol's guts right now, so I can't imagine that going well. Future/present Barbatos on the other hand... I think we'd be dealing with another heartbreak situation. He was just beginning to develop feelings for MC. So I think he would be sad, but also happy for them. Because that version of Barbatos loves MC and he cares about Solomon, too. And I think he'd want them to be happy. And I kinda think that's how it would go for the rest of the side characters, too. Diavolo and Simeon both don't strike me as the types that would like try to talk them out of it or cause any anguish for them over it. I think they'd be sad to lose MC, but happy that their friends are in love, you know?

The brothers are just too attached to MC to really go that route without trying to talk them out of it. And also we know they really don't trust Solomon. Present/future Asmo might be the only one who sides with MC, though probably pretty reluctantly and that only because he actually likes Solomon in a way none of the other brothers do.

Wow I feel like there is just so much angst potential with this scenario! But I love the idea of MC marrying Solomon, even it makes things difficult for the brothers lol.

[borggolf]

Walworth County golf courses, ranked

Unlike Rock County, which only has one or two courses I would consider 'great,' Walworth County (thanks to Illinois tourism) is not only blessed with many good/great courses, four of them are listed in the top 40 in Wisconsin.

[Hawk statue (R.I.P.), hole 2, Hawk's View]

This ranking is my own subjective view of the courses I've played and how much I would like to replay them. It has little to do with architecture or course design and more to do with how much fun I had playing them as a mid-handicap golfer. I also factor in accessibility (how difficult it is to get a tee time there) and price.

[Hole 13, Geneva National - Gary Player Course]

Although I’ve only played it once back in 2020, my favorite golf course in Walworth County is the Gary Player course at Geneva National. I’m not a big fan of the other two courses at GN, but the starter that day was apparently in a good mood just before our late November tee time and moved us from our booked Trevino course to the much sought after Player. Maybe it was the fact that I had good fortune that day, but that round ended up being one of the highlights of the year for me. The course was in fantastic shape considering it was 40 degrees when we teed off.

[Hole 8, Grand Geneva - The Highlands]

The Highlands course at Grand Geneva is a great course with many elevation changes and beautiful views. I don’t consider it a difficult course (which is why I prefer it over The Brute), as long as you play the proper tee box. I was once coerced into playing the back tees and I ended up with a horrible score. Grand Geneva is generally very pricey, but every once in a while they will have a special where you can play for under $100.

[Hole 17, Hawk's View - Como Crossing, in early March]

Hawk’s View has easily the best public non-resort golf course in the county. I have not played the Barn Hollow course, which is a highly rated 18-hole par 3 course, but I play the championship course (Como Crossings) several times a year. Great views and elevation changes, true greens, and well manicured fairways. Not to mention the food in the clubhouse is fantastic. A round can run very pricey in the summer (over $100), but it’s a must-play for me in the spring and fall.

[Hole 17, Abbey Springs, overlooking Geneva Lake]

The first time I played Abbey Springs back in 2017, it ate me up and spit me out. At the time it was the most difficult course I’d ever played. I’ve only played there two times since then and didn’t fare much better. But it’s a great woodsy course and I’d love to go back, especially since they've spent $2.5M renovating all of the green complexes recently. Unfortunately, since they did that, their greens fees have more than doubled.

[Hole 16, Grand Geneva - The Brute, in December]

The only reason I didn’t rank The Brute higher is because it’s well known to be unfairly difficult. The course is actually ranked the highest in Walworth County according to some golf publications, but I rarely have a good round there and that is a bitter taste I remember every time I book it. On more than one occasion an employee asked me how it went - when my response was a defeated one, they respond, “yeah, The Brute can do that.”

[Hole 16, Geneva National - Lee Trevino Course]

Speaking of difficult courses, let’s talk about Geneva National. I didn’t find the Player course hard at all, but the Palmer and Trevino courses will have you pulling your hair out. Most holes are very strategic with many, many large bunkers. Add on top of that the very high price for the round and I'd often be sitting in the parking lot wishing I’d played almost anywhere else. Don’t get me wrong, the courses are possibly in the best shape of any course in the county, but they’re just too difficult for me to fully enjoy them.

[Hole 13, Nippersink Golf Resort]

Nippersink is a hidden gem resort course located between Pell Lake and Twin Lakes. Technically the entire course layout is in Kenosha County, but the clubhouse is just on the Walworth County side of the line. It’s a well manicured fun course with quick & true greens, but the weekenders ruin it. I highly suggest playing it on a weekday because it will be a 5 hour round on a Saturday.

[18th green, Big Foot Country Club]

I played in a drunken scramble once in 2019 at Big Foot Country Club. I was ecstatic to be playing at a private club for the first time, but the course wasn’t very memorable. It was pretty nice, but I’d honestly rather play Hawk’s View, Glen Erin, or even Oak Grove in Illinois. I would play there again, if invited, only for the fact that the opportunities to play it are rare.

[Hole 18 (from the clubhouse), Geneva National - Arnold Palmer Course]

I mentioned the difficulty of the Trevino and Palmer courses at Geneva National. What I didn’t mention is that the Palmer course is the more difficult of the two. Still, the course is beautiful and you finish holes 16 & 17 along the shoreline of Lake Como. Does it deserve to be higher on the list? Not after I factor in difficulty and price.

[2nd green (from 3rd tee box), Evergreen - North Course]

While there may be a noticeable dip in quality when going from the Lake Geneva courses to Evergreen, that's not to say it’s a bad course at all. In fact, if it were in Rock County, I’d easily rank it the 2nd best course behind Glen Erin. For several years I’ve participated in two 27-hole scrambles there per season. There are quite a number of risk/reward holes, making it fun for all levels of golfer (I scored 2 of my 3 lifetime eagles on the East course). 

[3rd green, Majestic Oaks at Lake Lawn Resort, overlooking Delavan Lake]

As my “home course,” I’ve played literally hundreds of rounds at Majestic Oaks. For many years I had a membership there and played weekly leagues. From 2018-2019 alone I shot 100 rounds there playing 3-4 days a week, so it’s safe to say I know this course well. With the par 5 hole #3 right on the shoreline of Delavan Lake, you’ll see plenty of wildlife on the course including Canada geese, ducks, deer, and bald eagles nesting on the 18th fairway. The course itself can get a little tight with its namesake’s trees often coming into play (as well as an abundance of bunkers), but it’s relatively short even from the back tees, making it not too difficult. It’s overpriced on the weekend, but during the week it might be the best value in the county. Also membership rates are very reasonable.

[2nd tee, Delbrook - North Course]

Formerly a municipal course, Delbrook has seen a lot of improvement over the years. They added an additional nine holes in 1999, totaling 27. More recently, $1.668M was bequeathed to the course, which was spent on improving drainage, better sand in the bunkers, cart path improvements, and a large net to prevent slices on the driving range from going into the parking lot. While all three 9’s are par 35, the South and Middle courses both play long; especially the South which has two par 4s that are over 450 yards from the white tees. Despite it being relatively low on my ranking list, I love playing Delbrook and I’ve carded my best ever scores there.

[9th green (from 8th tee), Country Club Estates]

One of the nicest 9-hole tracks I’ve ever played is in Fontana sitting just outside of Abbey Springs and Big Foot Country Club. Having played league at Country Club Estates, I got a real feel for the course. Definitely some risk/reward, plenty of blind shots, and all kinds of trouble for errant shots. This was the course that inspired me to (ask my wife to) buy my first new golf club set, and I scored my first eagle on hole #5.

Willow Brook is a quaint 9-hole course, formerly the Whitewater Country Club. It’s a decent budget course, probably more well-known for the fish fry in the clubhouse. The last two holes are deceptive, forcing the golfer to think twice before pulling out the driver.

[Holes 15 & 16 (from 14th tee), Alpine Valley - The Meadows Course]

When people think of Alpine Valley, they usually think of the concert venue or the ski hill, not the fact that it’s a 27-hole golf resort. Being in the valley, a few of the holes have impressive elevation changes. It’s surprisingly cheap to play there, but some parts of the course have serious drainage issues. The last time I golfed it, only 16 of 27 holes were playable and they told us to “play two holes twice�� to make 18. They also sent people off on both nines, which caused a huge delay at the turn. While I can’t recommend the course, it is one of the cheapest in the county.

[Lake Geneva Country Club (from a Geneva Lake tour boat)]

I haven't played the ultra-exclusive private courses in Lake Geneva (Golden Eye [formerly Lakewood] and Lake Geneva Country Club), but LGCC is on my bucket-list. I’ve also never played rounds at Lake Beulah or Lauderdale Lakes (both 9-hole courses).

Many have asked if I ever played Hillmoor in Lake Geneva. Unfortunately I wasn't able to play it before it closed in 2009. Since then the property has changed hands a few times, but there are still no plans for development.

A golfer living in Walworth County is spoiled with many excellent choices, but most carry a high price tag (especially since the COVID golf-boom). I don't typically play the Lake Geneva resort courses more than once or twice a year, as I'm comfortable saving money playing the mid-level courses like Evergreen, Majestic Oaks, and Delbrook. I also often venture to some nice courses just outside of the county such as Prairie Woods, Broadlands, and Brighton Dale. When I eventually move from here to greener pastures, I will most likely not see the density of great courses this close to my new home.

[ringtrappedinamber]

Vignette 6- I wouldn’t call it a film

Mio Side

Start | Back | Forward

Mio opened her phone and showed it to her mom. 

Mio: “This is the video I did yesterday. I think I did the dance really well!”

Miharu: “Oh! You look cute! Did you make this with your club?”

Mio: “Ah… No, I did this one on my own.”

Miharu: “Ah, yeah. They’re boys right? Probably not into this kind of stuff.”

Mio frowned. 

‘This kind of stuff… Well, she’s not wrong.’ 

The day passed quickly and soon enough Mio made it to the clubroom. Lobat and Sy were listening to a recent movie’s soundtrack. Mio was doing more ‘trend’ research on her phone. 

Mio sighed loudly as she flopped forward onto the table. She checked her phone again, but sure enough the video wasn’t getting any more views.  Mio slapped her hands down on the table causing Sy and Lobat to turn towards her.

Mio: “Lobat! I joined this club to get better at making movies! So why don’t you teach me something today?”

Lobat stared at her for a moment and then made his classic ‘that sounds like a pain’ face. Mio marched over to him and handed him her phone. 

Mio: “Th-This is me doing a recent trend. It’s really popular! Even accounts with less followers than mine are getting really huge views off of it but my views won’t go up!”

Lobat clicked play. Mio leaned over him looking down at the screen with determination. 

Mio: “See? See? I’m doing the dance properly! And I think I look really cute, y’know? I had my mom do my hair differently.”

Lobat stared at the video intently. Once it finished playing he clicked play again, watching it a second time. 

Mio: “Ah! Wait! Give me your phone!”

Lobat handed his phone over. She pulled up her account on his phone and handed it back to him.

Mio: “That way it’ll count as a separate viewer…”

Sy burst out laughing. Mio grinned sheepishly. Meanwhile Lobat was just replaying the video again. He had a weirdly focused stare going on. Mio felt a little nervous with him just watching the video over and over. Even for someone like her, who shamelessly showed her videos to everyone, having them watch with that level of intensity was a bit embarrassing. 

Mio: “S-so… What’s your tips..?”

Lobat glanced up to her.

Lobat: “We didn’t make this kind of film with Austin.”

‘‘This kind’.. And what’s that supposed to mean..?’

Mio: “I-I wouldn’t call it a film..”

Lobat looked confused but didn’t press it. 

Lobat: “I’ll have to think about it...”

Mio: “Yeah, hehe. I get it. This kind of stuff isn’t as impressive as what Austin was doing. I know there’s a big difference between doing trends and actually making a movie..”

Lobat glanced at her curiously.

Lobat: “You’re… surprisingly negative, huh? I’ve got to head home early… I’ll think about it.”

Lobat got up and walked across the room, heading out the door. 

Sy: “Come on, man… you could have said it better than that…”

Sy picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder. 

Sy: “Don’t hold that against him. In his own way I think he’s trying to tell you to have more confidence.”

Mio: “He didn’t help at all!” 

Sy: “I’m sure he’s just figuring out how to reply.”

Sy headed out. Mio slumped onto the table.

Mio: “And you didn’t help either…”

Mio grabbed her bag and headed home. She scrolled through her videos aimlessly. Soon she began to notice several notifications popping up on videos she’d uploaded a long time ago. 

‘Eh?!’

Someone was liking all her videos? She clicked through to the account. Barely any pictures but the few that were there were of local vistas around the city.

‘That’s Lobat, right?’ 

She got home and ate dinner. Once she was done she checked her phone again. A dozen more notifications across almost every video she’d ever made. She sat down on her bed, clicking through to his account. Before today it seemed like he hadn’t even really used his account. Now it was just a nonstop wall of liked trend videos. Well at least it wasn’t just her videos. He seemed to be liking a bunch of different ones.

Mio: “Did I accidentally get him hooked on this trend..?”

Mio sent him a message through the app.

>Mio (9:12): Lobat. Stop stalking me.

>Leiden (9:12): Not 

>Leiden (9:12): I’m not

>Leiden (9:12): I’m not stalking.

>Mio (9:13): If you like that trend I can recommend a lot of good dance trend people.  

>Leiden (9:14): Good, could you sort them by follower count and average video views? >Mio (9:15): No.

Mio sighed. What the hell was this guy up to..?  She was sure he was disappointed. They were the ‘film’ studies club. But here she was doing dances and voice over and stuff like this. She knew that she probably looked pretty unserious by their standards. 

‘Yeah.. I guess I’m a little negative…’

>Leiden (9:16): Wait, does it show you what I like? 

>Leiden (9:16): I was liking to save them.

>Leiden (9:16): To watch later.

>Leiden (9:17): Not just yours.

>Mio (9:18): Okay, got it.

Mio set the phone aside and flopped down on her bed. 

The next day at lunch Mio sat with her friends for lunch. Becca, Jess, and Dannie. Mio sighed heavily. 

Mio: “I asked the upperclassman to help with my videos.”

Becca: “Eh? The cute dance? Why’d you need help?”

Mio: “It’s not really gaining views. The upperclassman watched it. He watched a couple of my videos. But he didn’t really say anything about it..”

Becca: “I never really got the impression you were so serious about this stuff. I was honestly shocked when you told me you were joining that club.”

Jessica: “Yeah! Like! You post on social media but it never really felt like.. You know… your whole heart was in it?”

Mio glanced down and forced a small smile.

Mio: “Yeah, I guess I’ve always kind of only.. Half-tried at it.”

Dannie frowned and reached out to stroke Mio’s hair gently. Mio felt really embarrassed. 

Dannie: “You try your best on each of them. And even though I don’t know much, I know each one’s getting better.”

Mio: “Oh? Really? How so?”

Dannie flinched and pulled back. She furrowed her brow and glanced down. Mio sighed. Right. Dannie was her friend, but Dannie never really knew how to talk about this stuff. Every time she tried it always just ended up getting awkward. 

Mio: “Ah! Sorry. I got over-excited… Oh! I need to head back to class.”

Her friends looked at each other. They could tell Mio was upset but no one really knew what to say. Mio turned and trudged back to class. 

Start | Back | Forward

[onceupon]

London Boy - Part 8: Hot or cold

summary: Some things change, and some things never do. Rafe has you feeling confused again, unable to use his words to tell you how he feels. But you’re determined, wanting to know once and for all whether he wants you or not.

pairing: Rafe x reader (noncanon)

warnings: drinking, swearing, smut

word count: 5.7k

a/n: hope everyone had a happy new year! sorry my writing is always severely behind schedule, much love, enjoy(:

masterlist

Rafe slipped out of your bed early in the morning. Your body felt suddenly cold at the lack of his embrace, but you refused to stir, pretending to be sound asleep as he snuck out of your room for an early weekend game. For all that was continuously new with Rafe Cameron, there remained one constant: confusion. The previous night had felt so good in so many ways until it left you feeling weirdly alone, shut out from the thoughts circling in his head once again. Rafe had started to let you in to what seemed like every corner of his mind: his humor, his family life, his favorite song for late night drives around the island and his comfort meal on a rainy day. And yet, when the subject was you, the words were far and few between.

There were actions though. Late night talks, sleep-laced embraces, remembered details. Most recently, moments laden with stolen kisses and muted moans seemed like the door to his feelings about you. But you realize now, laying in bed alone, that you hadn’t actually heard the words to confirm. Was he crushing the way you were? More? Less? Or was it just pure physical desire, a fling based off attraction but also convenience, nothing more. You replay the moment in your head, the way he hesitated, the way he left an open-ended promise. You don’t understand what any of it meant, but with a huff you decide it’s none of your business.

You put on your slippers and with tangled hair, you shuffle to the kitchen to make a coffee to help drown the thoughts that were otherwise threatening to drown you.

“I wanna do something,” Olivia comes in, resting her chin in her hand, leaned on the kitchen counter as you turn on the coffee machine.

“Down for anything,” you hum as you reach for your favorite mug.

“I was thinking a picnic? In Hyde park? All I want to do is lay on a blanket in the grass and snack on blueberries,” she sighs dramatically.

“Liv, you know I love you, but it’s so cold out,“ you start to object.

“So we’ll get hot chocolate and bring an extra blanket!” she smiles bright, ever the optimist. You laugh and shake your head, lips pulling into a small smile letting her know she’s successfully roped you in. “That settles it - it’s a picnic day!” she beams. “I’m gonna go tell Mills!”

And just as she’s about to leave the kitchen she turns back around to add one more thing, “You and Rafe both do that smile with the head shake kind of thing. Lord if I spend anymore time with you guys, I’m gonna end up picking up all these random Kildare mannerisms. I’m literally gonna be disowned by Westheath,” And as she says this you realize it isn’t a Kildare mannerism at all, just a Rafe one.

—

“I don’t wanna go to uni,” Millie sighs, tossing a blueberry and catching it above her as the three of you lay on your backs in a circle, heads meeting in the center. It was a cold, late-fall day in London, but hoods on and blankets in tow, it wasn’t too bad - refreshing even.

“Mills nooo why do you say that,” Olivia replies, voice laced with concern.

“I don’t know it’s just weird… being far from everything and everyone I know. It’s scary… one step closer to having to be a real adult,” Millie says, her tone of voice noticeably hushed.

“Scary doesn’t have to be bad…” Olivia responds after a generous pause. “And no matter what happens, wherever you go, you’ll always have a home here with us, Liam, Jake, all our friends,”she says, giving her palm a reassuring squeeze.

“To be honest I kind of do want to go away to college already,” you say. “The friendships I’ve formed here couldn’t hold a candle to anything I have back at Kildare… I won’t really have much to miss at that place. The idea of having to leave Westheath and you guys in a few weeks is what’s scary to be honest,” you confess.

“Stop don’t remind me, I don’t even want to think about that yet,” Millie sighs.

“Promise you’ll keep in touch Y/n,” Olivia says.

“Of course,” you smile, a bit sad thinking how the best few months of your life would have to come to an end eventually.

“At least you’ll have Topper and Rafe though,” she adds to try and lighten the somber mood.

“Yeah…” you say, “I hope.”

“What do you mean you hope,” she turns her head to look at you, worry on her face.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love those boys and they’ve become two of my best friends here. But… I mean they have other friends back home, people that I’m not friends with. What if our friendship was just… I don’t know… a temporary thing for them? And when we get back to OBX things will go back to how they always were…”

“Aw Y/n honey you know that’s not going to happen right? You can’t always think the worst case scenario. That goes for you too Mills. I promise you, if you let yourself believe it, the universe really is working in your favor,” Olivia replies.

“God I hate how right you always are,” Millie laughs begrudgingly.

“A blessing and a curse,” Olivia flashes a content smile.

“Hold on Liam’s calling me,” Millie sits up to lean on her elbows, raising the phone to her ear. “Sup babes?”

You and Olivia stay quiet as she talks, chasing the clouds overhead with your eyes, only hearing the occasional quip from Millie until she hangs up.

“Liam has something proper important he needs to tell me,” she laughs, doing her best impersonation of his voice. “So I’ll catch you ladies later,” she gathers her things before sauntering off through the park.

“He better be telling her about how he’s proper in love with her already,” Olivia snorts once Millie is well out of ear shot.

“You know?” you gasp.

“He drunkenly let it slip to me last year and I’ve been observing from the sidelines ever since,” she laughs.

“Do you ever want to just… tell her?”

She pauses for a second before she speaks, “I think it’s one of those things that needs to work out in its own way in its own time… y’know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I do.”

—-

When you get back to the building with Olivia, she peels away to go see her boyfriend Jake, leaving you to return to the flat by yourself. You unlock the door and walk down the hall, turning your knob in one hand and holding your bunched up blanket in the other.

“Y/n!” a low voice sings happily when you walk in.

“Rafe?” you say, surprised to find the 6’ something boy laying on your bed in the middle of the afternoon.

“We won our game,” he smiles dopily.

“Oh yeah? Celebrate a bit I see?”

“We may have had a few beers,” he mumbles, reaching his hand out to pull you closer.

“Hey,” he smiles up at you, hand dancing up your leg to rest on your waist as you now stand next to the bed where he’s still laying.

“Hi,” you say back, amused eyebrows quirked. He’s quick to pull you down so that you’re all of a sudden on top of him.

“I missed you,” he mumbles.

“You’re drunk,” you whisper, roughly an inch left between your faces.

“You’re beautiful,” he smiles.

“Rafe,” you groan, cheeks immediately growing red.

“I’m serious,” he frowns, pressing a kiss to your jawline.

“You’re full of shit,” you let out a small laugh, swatting him away, but you can’t help it that you’re smiling from ear to ear at his words. You’d never heard him say these things before. You still found it oddly endearing even though you knew he’d never say it sober.

“Can I have a kiss?” he asks.

“You’re drunk and I’m quite the opposite… don’t want to take advantage of you Cameron,” you tut.

“I’m not drunk off my ass,” he pouts, “I’m laying on my ass right now actually so I’m definitely on it.”

You roll your eyes, “a small kiss,” you concede to which his mouth erupts into a wide grin. You lean down and give him just a peck to which he groans, wanting more. You use your hands to help lift you up, climbing off of him.

“Hey where are you going,” he frowns.

“I’m starving and you need some food to soak up the alcohol in your stomach. Let’s go,” you say and he sighs, getting up to follow you out of your room and into the kitchen. You remember a few nights ago Rafe telling you about his go-to hangover meal: bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel. You start to rummage through the fridge, pulling out the ingredients. Rafe sits at the table, admiring you in a half-dazed way as you start making lunch. The bacon and eggs are cooking on the pan in front of you when you feel a pair of large arms encircle your waist from behind.

“Rafe someone could see us,” you hiss.

“Don’t care,” he mumbles as he kisses your neck. You turn around in his arms, scoldingly pointing the spatula toward his chest.

“You’re unbelievable,” you shake your head.

“Hey Rafe what time did the guys say-“ Topper’s voice all of a sudden comes booming from the hallway and you quickly shove Rafe away.

“-to meet at the bar?” Topper rounds into the kitchen.

“Don’t remember man,” Rafe says, scratching the back of his head.

“You still drunk bro?” Topper laughs to which Rafe just responds with a telling grin, Topper clapping him on the shoulder.

“Y/n!” he exclaims, finally noticing you too. “What’s up babe?”

“Making lunch for me and this one over here,” you motion to Rafe’s figure.

“Damn and none for me, I’m hurt Y/n, really hurt,” he clutches at his chest sarcastically.

“Aw sorry Top, maybe next time,” you wink, noticing Rafe scowling every so slightly from the corner of your eye.

“You can make it up to me though. Come out with us and the rest of team. Celebrating our win all day long.”

“I swear you boys drink more than you actually play. Tempting offer. I’ll have to see,” you reply.

“Aw come on Y/n you know you want to,” he persuades.

“Alright you got me I’m in,” you laugh.

“Okay perfect I’ll check with the guys when everyone is heading over and we’ll all go over then,” he says before exiting the kitchen.

“Alright lunch is ready,” you announce once he leaves, bringing two plates to the table, a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel for each of you. Rafe takes a bite, immediately humming in satisfaction.

“Taste okay?” you ask.

“Best thing I’ve ever eaten. Topper can fuck right off if he thinks he’s getting any.”

“Rafe,” you laugh, “Topper is my friend too and I’d make him a bagel just the same.”

“But I’m not just your friend,” he frowns.

“Well then what are you?” you level him with your gaze, intrigued to finally hear in his own words what he thinks the two of you are, drunk Rafe giving you way more than you’re used to chew on.

“I don’t know… but you know I’m not just your friend,” he now levels you with his gaze, the air standing still around you. The answer isn’t anything you didn’t know, but something about the way he looks at you as he says it gives you butterflies. He practically has you hypnotized, unable to move as he closes the remaining space between your faces, hand cupping your chin as your lips meet, for more than a peck this time.

“You’re trouble,” you mumble as you both pull away, to which he just smiles proudly and kisses you again.

—-

Your legs are criss crossed as you sit on the floor in your room, opening the package of clothes which you ordered the other week. You dump the contents out in front of you, holding each item up as you remind yourself what you even ordered in the first place. As you pick up one top in particular, an idea pops in your head. You shimmy on the skimpy going out top. Perfect - fits like a glove. You twist your body left and right in admiration at how it hugs you in all the right spots and reveals quite a bit of what you want to show off without giving everything away for free. It’s a top you hope will drive Rafe insane and that’s precisely your goal for tonight.

Over his mixed signals, leaving you cold one second then drunkenly ablaze the next, it was time to make matters into your own hands. He either wanted you or he didn’t, and you’d see to it that you found out.

Buzzing with new energy, you start getting ready. When you finally hear the knock on your door, excitement and adrenaline are coursing through your veins.

“Hey Y/n, you ready to go?” Topper’s voice calls from the other side of the door.

“You bet,” you smile bright, swinging the door open to find Topper standing in front of you, Rafe just slightly behind him in his doorway.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, I think we’re close enough where I can say this bluntly, but damn Y/n, you look really hot,” he says.

“Aw, thanks Top,” you laugh. “Now let’s go take a shot before we leave,” you walk past him, sending a playful smile in Rafe’s direction just long enough to notice the way his mouth is slightly parted. Your smile grows giddily wide, only to yourself, as you round into the kitchen with determined confidence.

You busy yourself grabbing the bottle of Jack and some shot glasses, acutely aware of the tall figure that appears beside you.

“We still never took that shot together Cameron,” you say, not looking up as you pour the brown liquid into the three shot glasses in front of you.

“Well then it’s about time,” he replies, leaning down to grab a shot glass for him and for Topper, his arm brushing against yours as he does. You exhale as you set down the bottle of Jack and grab your own glass before turning around, almost annoyed by how just that touch alone could leave goosebumps on your skin. He’s already in the middle of the kitchen, listening to something Topper is saying, eyes flickering to you and away again just as fast.

“Cheers,” Topper raises his glass and you and Rafe follow suit. “To the Kildare crew,” Topper adds.

“To the Kildare crew,” you and Rafe echo as you down the shots. Naturally, Topper doesn’t notice the way Rafe has to focus to swallow and the way your fluster is just barely visible on the surface of your cheeks.

—-

“One blue moon,” Rafe comes up by your side, handing you the pint in the crowded bar, your usual order already committed to his memory.

“Thanks,” you smile up at him, noting now how handsome he looks without even trying - his hair tousled from the nap he took earlier to sober up. That and the jacket he’s wearing has you almost weak in the knees.

“Rafe over here!” one of his teammates shouts from by the pool table. He nods his head then turns to you.

“Come on I want you to meet the rest of the team,” he says, running his hand over the small of your back to guide you there.

“Rafe! Mate!” a boy exclaims, dapping him up.

“This is Y/n,” he says, as he steps to the side to introduce you.

“Ah right! So this is the famous other Kildare flatmate. Pleasure to meet you, I’m Tom,” he smiles, holding out his hand.

“Nice to meet you Tom,” you say, ears perking up at the fact that he already knows who you are.

“Me, Callum, and Henry were gonna play a round of pool. Join us yeah? Where’s that bastard Top, does he wanna play?”

“I believe Topper has already found his uh, plan for the night,” you laugh, pointing toward the dance floor where Topper was getting quite comfortable with a girl you recognized from one of your classes.

“Cheeky bastard,” Tom laughs. “Well alright you two then - come play,” he beckons, you registering the fact that Rafe’s arm hasn’t left the small of your back as you approach the pool table, his fingers splayed spreading warmth over your body.

“How’s your game Y/n,” Rafe asks when the two of you reach the other end of the table, pulling your attention away from his close touch.

“Pretty good, and yours,” you lean back against the table, staring up at him, eyes flirtatiously glancing between his own. He just chuckles and shakes his head, his mouth pulling into a small smile, causing you to almost falter at the mannerism you unconsciously picked up from him.

The game commences and your competitive side is soon in full swing, your mission of driving Rafe crazy all but slipping your mind. That is, until one round when you’re watching him line up his stick, focusing on the ball, his bicep flexing. You swallow hard, feeling suddenly hot. You decide you need to regain the upper hand in this situation, so when it’s your turn you make sure to shoot the ball so slow and at such an angle that your ass and chest are strategically in his full view the whole time, sighing when you stand back up, your ball accidentally going the wrong direction.

You hear a throat clear by you now, “Here Y/n, I can give you a pointer.” You look up and see the way his Adam’s Apple moves as he swallows, not unaffected. You feign a thankful innocence, but you’re sure he sees through it. He walks over to you, standing directly behind you as his arms wrap around you.

“So you want to hold the stick like this,” he says, hand coming to rest atop of yours, guiding it to the right position. “And then you want to angle yourself like this,” he continues, bending over you as you follow suit. “And then, you shoot,” he says, and as he winds up your connected arms he whispers in your ear for only you to hear, “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.” Your breath hitches and as you stand straight again, Rafe looking at you with eyebrows raised.

The game soon ends, exchanging a few jokes with the boys before the three head outside for a smoke, leaving just you and Rafe once more.

“So, am I right?�� he presses, calm, intrigued.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you sip on your drink innocently.

He starts to open his mouth to say something but you don’t let him get a word in, ears perking up when you hear a good song come on.

“Come dance with me,” you say, grabbing his arm.

“Y/n-”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun,” you pout, and with another shake of the head signaling the wave of the white flag, he’s conceding, allowing you to drag him into the crowd. Out on the dance floor, the tension building between you seems to dissipate with a few dorky dance moves and loud cackles, just being idiots together as usual. Suddenly, someone behind accidentally bumps into you, sending you flying into Rafe who’s hands immediately are there to catch you against him.

“Sorry,” you quickly say out of instinct.

“No, uh- don’t be,” he says, eyes finding yours. Your heart stops for a moment as the beat pounds in your ears and bodies circle around you. The dance floor is so crowded now, you and Rafe wouldn’t be able to step away from each other even if you wanted to. So you don’t. You throw your hands around his neck, not sure what you’re doing. He keeps his hands on your body, moving them just so to capture your waist. You start moving together far slower and completely out of rhythm with the music but neither of you seem to notice.

“You were right,” you say against his ear, the music so loud and your voice so soft you can’t even hear yourself, but you know he can.

You look up at him and he beckons his head toward the exit. You unravel your arms from the spot where they’re clasped around his neck, letting him take your palm in his to lead you out.

Once outside, you follow his lead as you both start walking back to the flat. After a few moments of silence, Rafe’s voice sounds in your ear.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been close with a girl as I am with you. Being friends with you, hanging out with you, it just feels like the easiest thing in the world.”

“Really?” is all you can manage to get out, the sober confession catching you by surprise.

“Yeah,” he replies. You can almost see the thoughts spinning in his head as he chuckles to himself.

“What?” you ask.

“It’s just ironic. One second you’re Y/n, this girl from home who I always thought was cool, who’s now my best friend in London of all places. And then the next second you’re… Y/n. This girl who makes me… nervous,” he chuckles. Your heart warms at the words, the ones he’s never spoke aloud before. The ones that you’ve so desperately been wanting to hear.

“I make you nervous?” you say, jaw slack with disbelief.

“Well… yeah,” he chuckles as he scratches the back of his head.

“You make me nervous too you know. When you look at me sometimes it’s so intense I have to remind myself to breathe,” you admit, not caring if it’s embarrassing.

“Oh yeah?” he smirks, pointing those cursed baby blue at you to which you just roll your eyes, shoving his arm.

“And for the record, I’ve never been this close with a guy before either… I can be myself around you and you just… get it. You make me feel safe,” you say, chewing on your cheek and feeling suddenly shy.

“Fuck,” he says, his head dropping for a second with a sigh. He stops you on the sidewalk where you both stand, hands resting on your arms to direct your focus toward him.

“Last night… it’s not that I didn’t want to Y/n. Trust me. I know people talk back home and you’ve probably heard things I’m not proud of, but I’m not that guy anymore. I really care about you. It’s not just sex, not with you. And I just needed to make sure you knew that first.”

There it was again. Another moment where you have to remind yourself to breath. “I,” you swallow, trying to find words, “I already knew that. But I think I needed to hear you say it too. I trust you Rafe.” His face softens before pulling into a smirk.

“I make you feel safe, huh?”

“Rafe wh-“ and before you can get out another word, your hurled over his shoulder as he’s racing down the sidewalk, the breath leaving your lungs in both laughter and sheer terror.

“Rafe!” you shriek, but he doesn’t react, one hand grasped firmly around your legs behind your knees, the other on your ass. You finally give in, allowing him to carry you around the block to where your building is. It’s not until you’re in the elevator that he finally puts you down, immediately bringing his lips to yours. You kiss him eagerly, smiling against his lips, familiar with warmth.

“At the bar before - you, the top, everything,” he begins to say, letting his gaze shamelessly wander down, “I was right. And you were too because it worked. You’re evil, but it worked.” You try to hide your smile but it’s no use, elevator dinging to your floor ushering the both of you to your flat.

“So tell me more about how I make you nervous?” you smirk.

“Alright relax big head,” he laughs as he holds the door open for you. His hand then falls to your shoulder, fingers dancing under the strap of your top as he guides your jacket off your body.

“And you think I’m cool,” you tease triumphantly.

“Starting to forget why I thought it was a good idea to tell you that,” he kisses along your neck, leading you backwards till your backed up against the door to your room.

“I can remind you,” you smile. You pull him down for a kiss, slow and gentle. You can feel his lips start to chase yours, like he’s trying to memorize the taste.

His hand makes its way to your doorknob, your entangled bodies stumbling backwards till your both on your bed.

“I mean it, when I say I really care about you Y/n,” he says earnestly.

“I know,” you whisper. His hand moves down your body, resting on your upper thigh with a gentle squeeze that sends a tingle into the pit of your stomach.

His other hand starts to roam up your stomach underneath your top, thumb swiping over your chest and palm grazing over your bra. It encircles its way to your back, fingers dancing beneath the band. You pull away and slowly pull the top over your arms. His eyes take you in before him, running his hand over your chest once again, admiring the lacy material. His thumb then moves to your lips, eyes glazing over them before leaning in again, your head falling to the pillow below you as he does.

“Rafe wait,” your hand flies to his chest to stop him before his lips can connect with your skin.

“Oh shit sorry, is something wrong?” he asks hurriedly as he pulls back.

“No no, nothing’s wrong. I just need to tell you something before this goes any further but,” your voice hitches, always having trouble just getting out with it, “… I’m a virgin.”

Rafe let’s out a breath, bowing his head in relief. “Had me scared there for a second.”

“You don’t… you don’t care? Like that’s not a dealbreaker?” you hum nervously, avoiding eye contact as you play with the buttons on his shirt.

“Deal breaker? What no, of course not Y/n,” he gently brings your face to look at his so you know he means it. “If anything it’s an honor really, that you’d uh want me to be the one,” he says, voice getting softer and cheeks tinging pink.

“I trust you, remember?” you smile and he knows you mean what you’re saying too.

“Just know this is all on your terms okay? The second you change your mind just say the word.” His hand lays on your arm, gently thumbing at your skin.

You just shake your head, looking right at him now, “I’m not gonna change my mind.”

Silence stills around you two, sharing a moment of vulnerability but also excitement, chests rising and falling in patient anticipation. He looks down at your lips, his tongue appearing for just a split second to unconsciously wet his own before reconnecting with yours. His hand gently moves down the length of your body, touch lingering over every curve. His fingers reach the button of your pants, toying with it.

“May I?” he asks, breaking the connection of your lips for a moment.

“Rafe you don’t have to ask anymore. I want this, want you,” you say. A curse falls under his breath.

“Shit yeah okay,” he breaths, burying his head in the crook of your neck to press kisses to the sensitive skin there, skillfully undoing the button of your pants with one hand. He slides them off your body, climbing back on top of you, his leg making itself at home in between yours, spreading them slightly apart. You begin fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, undoing them as his hand slides in between your thighs. You gasp, momentarily releasing the button you’re working on as his touch finds you right where you need it. You focus on your breath as he focuses on you, managing to get the last of his shirt buttons undone and starting to pull it off. He removes his hand from in between your legs to help you get rid of the shirt before returning right back to you. His other hand reaches behind you, undoing the hook of your bra and tossing it to the side. He presses wet kisses to your now bare chest before returning his mouth to yours, humming in satisfaction as he gently kneads them with his hand. You surrender completely as you come undone beneath him, melting into his touch, into the hands and mouth that seem to know your body better than you.

“Rafe- I’m ready, please,” you struggle to say, your eyes starting to flutter shut at the pleasure he was causing, his fingers moving in and out of you while also giving just the right amount of attention to your clit.

“Yeah? Hold on, I’ll be right back,” he says, pressing a kiss to your lips before getting up. You watch as he discards his pants and grabs the condoms from your drawer, biting your lip as you watch him roll it on, your excitement growing at the thought of him being inside you. He turns to you, his eye contact immediately making you feel warm and comfortable, his reassuring expression putting you at ease as he rests above you again.

“We’re gonna go slow,” he says, looking down at you with caring eyes. You nod breathlessly. He teases your entrance lightly with his fingers before using them to spread you open, an embarrassing whimper leaving your lips. He lines himself up and then begins to slide in slowly, gently kissing your neck and jawline to help you relax. Once he’s all the way in you let out a long breath you’d been holding in.

“Do you feel okay?” he asks, not moving at all.

“Stings a little, not in a bad way. You can move,” you whisper, giving him the green light.

“Okay. Stay with me Y/n,” he says. His hips start to move, easing you into a rhythm. Eyes are on yours, reading your expressions, making sure you’re okay. You can feel every inch of him inside of you, and as you focus on the feeling you start to get used to it, start to enjoy it, breath growing a little heavier. Rafe notices this and takes it as his cue to roll his hips into yours at a quicker pace. His hand reaches to grabs yours, intertwining your fingers with his. Your heart seizes a little at the action, how gentle and caring he’s being, leaning down to meet your lips for kisses that are deep yet delicate. He starts to change his rhythm slightly, grinding into you now in a way that hits you at an angle you weren’t aware you had, a gasp escaping from your lips.

“You feel incredible,” his low, slightly-strained voice groans just above a whisper in your ear, igniting a wildfire in below your abdomen.

“Mhm I- don’t stop please,” you breathe and he listens, continuing his motions and squeezing your hand tighter as your hot breaths mix together, growing heavier and heavier. From there it’s a mix of pants and moans, of wet kisses and intimate glances worth a thousand words, until you’re both at the peak. Your eyes screw shut and your mouth falls open as you feel your orgasm taking over.

“It’s okay Y/n, I got you,” he encourages, helping you ride out your high as his movements grow sloppier, finally stilling as he spills into the condom. He rests his forehead on yours, gingerly pushing away a sweaty strand of hair stuck to your temple. He then kisses your forehead, pulling out of you to go discard the filled condom. When he returns, Rafe pulls the covers over the both of you as he wraps his arms around you, your sweaty bodies sticking together, impossibly close.

“How did that feel?” he asks, his hand playing with yours underneath it.

“Good,” you smile, turning your body around so you’re facing him. “Maybe next time I’ll take charge,” you wink.

“Yeah okay I’d like to see that,” he laughs.

“Is that a challenge? Don’t tempt me Cameron,” you smirk, to which he just chuckles and shakes his head, giving your waist a playful squeeze.

“You’re trouble,” he murmurs low against your lips causing you to smile from ear to ear and lean in for a peck. You close your eyes, humming in satisfaction, fingers lightly tracing over his chest.

“Hey Y/n,” he clears his throat suddenly.

“Yeah?” you look up, softly surveying his face as he avoids your gaze, staring at the ceiling but still holding you close.

“You and Liam first met on a date right?”

“Yeah,” you can’t help but laugh, the idea of you and Liam on a date so ridiculous to you now that you’ve grown to be such good friends.

“Have you uh… have you been on any other dates, or whatever, out here?” he swallows awkwardly.

“Not that it’s any of your business but I haven’t been on any other dates, or whatever,” you eye him curiously, the topic of you with other guys an interesting choice for pillow talk.

“I know this is selfish of me to ask, but uh, could you maybe not hookup with anyone else?” He’s still too embarrassed to look at you even though your smiling at him adoringly like an idiot.

“Mmm I guess I could be exclusive for you if that’s what you’re asking. As long as you don’t hookup with anyone else either,” you say playfully. He turns to look at you now, a look of relief lightly etched in his features.

“Believe me,” he says, pulling you even closer so your head is fully resting on his chest, “wouldn’t dream of it.”

—

🏷: @hopebaker @pogueslandia @mardema @haterpenny @madiemily21 @dontstopxx @lemur46 @thesimpletype

[mountswhore]

Hey there! Could you write a JLingz one where you are no longer dating (he broke up with you) but when he sees you all happy and that he feels sad because he knows he made a mistake. He is having a bad time so his friends tell you what's going on with him (arent eating well, can't focus on his work). You decide to help him because of all the good time you spent together and after hours looking for him in the places he usually goes, you find him in your favorite place (a beautiful park where you used to go for a picnic and could see the whole city). There you realize you can't live without each other.

𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞 — jesse lingard

summary after breaking up with you, jesse loses himself. and you offer to help.

notes requests are open

It had now been four months since Jesse had broken up with you. You still had no idea why, but you were moving on. Your relationship had slowly broken apart, you’d become so distant from each other, choosing to spend time away from the other, and Jesse thought it was right to end it.

“Don’t be boring,” Mason sighed, stretching his limbs over your bed. You and Mason had been close friends, even before you and Jesse dated, but it stung to hang out with him sometimes. “Everyone will be there, so come on. They all miss you.”

You spun your head around from your seat at the vanity, giving Mason a look. “Everyone?”

“Apart from Jesse. He doesn’t show up to these things anymore.”

You'd made the decision to go, hoping to reinforce to everyone that you'd moved on from Jesse. Clubs weren't entirely your thing, it was one of your many differences with Jesse. He'd want to celebrate his birthday in a club , but wonder why you looked so uncomfortable sat beside him.

"Y/N," you heard from behind you, Ben's hands placed on your shoulders as he guided you to his booth. Sat there was Mason, Jack, Declan, and Marcus. You greeted them all and sat between Mason and Ben, stealing sips of Mason's drinks from time to time. The boys were all chattering, and you'd joined in, but Marcus kept giving you weird glances. You'd assumed that it was just weird for him seeing his best mates ex acting so happy and care-free, but he seemed to give you a sympathetic smile.

"I'm gonna get some more drinks," Marcus announced, pulling himself up from the edge of the booth and looking at the faces surrounding him, "I don't know your drink, Y/N, so you'll have to come with me."

You followed Marcus to the bar, sitting on one of the few empty chairs at the corner of the bar, waiting for the bartender's attention. Marcus sat beside you, fiddling with the glass in his hand. "I need to talk to you, Y/N."

"I thought as much," you noted, glancing at him and shifting in your seat, "you know my drink, you've ordered it a million times." The pair of you smiled at each other, a brief memory being remembered, but quickly batted away as it included Jesse. He was not a topic to be talking about, but Marcus needed to.

"Jesse isn't doing well, at all." Marcus stated simply, a painful look in his eyes. Marcus was the perfect friend, he knew what Jesse needed but Jesse wasn't willing to chase after it, so Marcus stepped in to help. He saw his friend struggling and decided to help. But your face wasn't sour, like he'd imagined. Your features softened at the mention of Jesse, and how he was doing.

"Why are you telling me this?" You questioned, finally raising your arm at the bartender who'd spotted you both.

"Don't pretend you don't feel anything towards him, Y/N. I can see it on your face." He replied, it as if the grip he had on your hand was urging you to tell the truth, you felt awful lying to Marcus.

"So what if I do?" You asked, no longer feeling the need to conceal your affection towards Jesse anymore. "Why would it matter? He broke up with me, if you forgot. He got home from training and told me to leave. Nothing further."

"I can't speak for him, I really can't. But I know he misses you, he regrets it." Marcus mentioned, tightening his grip on your hand ever so slightly, "and I wouldn't tell you this if it wasn't serious, but he's barely eating, barely sleeping, he doesn't show up to training on time and gets sent home if he's not performing well, he doesn't show up to parties or to hang out. He's gone."

Your heart ached. You could just imagine him now, on his sofa in sweats and carrying his heavy heart around his dark home. And you weren't far off from the truth. He was in bed, bundled up in the duvet and scrolling through your Instagram. It hurt to see you so okay. You had pictures of you and Mason, some of you and the England boys, some with just you glamming up, he'd watched every story, every highlight. You looked like you'd moved on, and here he was still yearning for you.

It had gotten to an hour after looking at your profile now, and Jesse had fallen asleep. Whereas you were just heading home for the night, you'd gotten into an Uber with Mason and Declan, giggling at their half-shut eyes and nonsensical words. You'd all gotten out of the Uber and into your place, the other boys had their own way of heading home, but you'd decided to let these two stay the night.

Even as you'd gotten into bed yourself, you couldn't stop thinking about what Marcus said. About how bad Jesse was feeling inside, and how much he'd let himself slip.

It even plagued your thoughts in the shower the following morning, as you drove with the boys to breakfast, as you'd dropped them back to the place they were staying. You'd gotten home that afternoon and were tired of debating it in your head, you'd locked back up and headed back to your car. The route to Jesse's was pretty familiar, almost like second nature at this point. Some days after a pretty rough day at work, you'd find yourself indicating left to go to Jesse's, and quickly began to indicate right.

You hadn't been here since he told you to leave four months ago. You'd barely paid attention to Jesse's car being missing, after banging on the door several times. He wasn't here, where else could he be? Marcus had said he doesn't go anywhere apart from training. And they were on a break right now.

He misses you, he regrets leaving you. Marcus' words were repeating in your head as you drove down the road to the field. Surely, if he missed you, he'd be here. You'd parked your car as close as you could, and began making your way up the hill. The only times you'd come here were with Jesse, for birthdays, anniversaries, even when you just had an hour together. This was a beautiful spot. It's where Jesse said he loved you, where he gave you all your birthday gifts. You'd spotted a man laying on the grass, head supported by a ball. Hood up and watching the city below it.

You'd come to realise, by the logo on the hoodie, that it was Jesse. You'd kicked the ball from under his head, falling back to meet your eyes. His bored face was swapped for a shocked one, sitting up and checking to see if he was actually seeing you opposite him. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you," you mentioned, sitting beside him and balling up your boat to lay your head on, Jesse had laid back down onto the ball, eyes grazing over your features. You were still a beauty. "I checked your house, and figured you'd be here. What's this I hear about you not doing well at training?"

No matter what was going on between you, you always made sure he ate and was well-rested for training. His career was one of the most important things to him, behind you and Hope of course. So you'd never let him slack, it's only recently he realised how well you looked after him. "Just doing bad this season, I suppose."

"Jesse Lingard doesn't just do bad. I remember him to be a class player," you replied, seeing a brief smile on his face, and you'd mirrored it out of instinct.

"Yeah," Jesse mumbled, "well Jesse Lingard is an idiot."

You sat up as he did, hand on his back as he hunched over. His hands over his face, you couldn't tell whether he was crying or not. "Why's that?"

He decided to be completely honest with you, not wanting to feel this way anymore. "I shouldn't have broken up with you," he sighed heavily, almost regretting saying anything, but now he had to keep going. "I've regretted it ever since I did it. I saw us in a rough spot and thought you might have been falling out of love with me, so I saved myself the heartache and ended it with you. I keep replaying it in my head and I hate myself for it. I just wish I could take it back."

You were stunned. You had no idea he felt this way, that he carried all this regret. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you reach out?"

"Because you looked so happy," he argued, voice cracking from the sudden raise, "I'd scrolled your Instagram every day, I saw how happy you looked with Ben and Mason and other friends. You looked like you had moved on, so I left it."

There was a tense silence, you had no idea what to do or say, you were contemplating being as vulnerable as he was. "It was a façade."

Jesse turned to face you, brows furrowed and hands on his knees now. "What are you on about?"

"I keep telling myself I've moved on, but I haven't. Marcus could see it on my face that I still love you." You admitted, shuffling closer to him and taking one of his hands in yours. "There's not a day I haven't thought of you, that I haven't hoped we'd run into each other."

There was nothing more that needed to be said, Jesse wanted to kiss you. So he did. He held your jaw with both hands tightly and kissed you, making up for these four missed months.

[lemons3ason]

Soul Eater Omegaverse

How the alpha boys would react to you disappearing/ignoring them after a fight!

-Soul Eater Evans-

He didn’t mean to let it slip out, he didn’t mean to say that your compulsive reactions made you weak and would get you killed just like your mother but he did and now he hadn’t seen you after making you whimper for the first time. He got a well deserved slap in the face for saying what he said and just stood there like an idiot as you ran away. He hadn’t seen you since then and his inner Alpha roared at him for making his sweet beautiful omega cry, today marked the eleventh day since he had seen you and he was suffering withdraw. Maka had washed his clothes removing your sweet syrupy scent from them and it was driving him crazy.

“Soul you’re growling again.”, Maka warned continuing to read her book.

The bone haired scythe groaned in annoyance slamming his head against the wood of the desk as a defeated sigh escaped his throat. You hadn’t answered any of his calls or messages, you hadn’t been to class, hell you weren’t even home when he tried to go see you. As lunch time came around the halls were suddenly flooded by gossiping students, Soul immediately caught a whiff of your sweet scent. It was weak but without a doubt it was his (Y/n), his pupils dilated in joy to the thought of seeing you but even as he pushed through the crowd of students he soon realized just how grave his mistake was. You were covered in cuts and dried blood but the look on your face made it obvious that you were suffering an omegan depression.

“W-what happened? What happened to (Y/n)?!”, He growled lunging at your weapon partner who protected you until another member of your pack slammed their elbow into the middle of his back momentarily immobilizing him.

“An Alpha that causes an omega to go into depression isn’t a proper Alpha at all. If you want to talk to her you’ll wait your turn like the rest of us until Stein checks her injuries.”, Your Alpha friend, Serenity, growled ushering (Y/n) and her partner to the nurses office.

Soul remained silent yet persistent the rest of the day, he wouldn’t leave the door of the nurses office even as your pack mates threatened him and waited patiently for them to allow him in. Your partner was the only one to fill him in on what had happened to you, after the fight you had gone into a depression and you wanted to prove that your impulsiveness wouldn’t get you killed but with your mind not at 100% during the fight you were almost easily defeated if it hadn’t been for soul resonance.

“So she was pretty close to getting to see her mom again. She would’ve liked that but we’re to stubborn to let her go just yet.”, He sighed leaning against the wall next to Soul.

“She wanted to prove herself to me...Death why am I such an idiot. She’s already better then me why did I have to go saying something so stupid when I didn’t really mean it!”, Soul growled to himself slamming his fist into the wall out of frustration.

“Rio, it’s time for us to go. Stein’s kicking us out.”, Serenity sighed emerging with the other six members of your pack, “I hope she breaks things off with you you were never a proper alpha for her to begin with.”

As soon as your pack mates were gone Soul rushed into the office to see your body balled up on one of the infirmary beds. Soul sighed as Stein scooted past him on his chair and took a seat next to your exposed hand. He softly traced his fingertips to your knuckles to see if you’d react but you didn’t, he took your hand in his and softly kissed your knuckles as he began to speak to you.

“(Y-y/n)...Hey shortcake...what happened? Why’d you go and disappear on me? I’ve missed you, you know that? Come on (Y/n), talk to me please.”, Soul whimpered rubbing your wrist against his cheek in an attempt to scent you.

You gently pulled your hand away and hid it under the sheets with the rest of your body before your shaky soft voice emerged from the sheets, “I’m weak just like you said.”, that’s what drew the line for him. Soul’s inner alpha was furious with him, his urge to comfort you and apologize took over. He was aggressive yet careful as he pulled the sheets off of you and revealing your pale form and although you wanted to hide Soul wouldn’t let you. He spooned you immediately kissing away at your forehead as he smothered you in his sweet strawberry like scent. Even if you wanted to escape you were basically engulfed by your alpha. You tried to pull out of his grip but you were to weak and he wouldn’t let you. He lifted up your face so you could see him and kissed your lips sweetly as his hands wandered over your frame. He would appease your omega no matter how he had to do it wether through physical touch, word, or actions he would apologize to you and gain back your trust that he lost for saying something so careless and stupid.

“Soul.”, you whimpered shuddering as his hands rubbed your thighs.

“(Y/n),my mega, my mate, my absolute love of my life I’m sorry, I know what I said can’t be taken back but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I made you this upset. I’m not letting you go or leaving until you accept my apology or at least tell me what I can do to redeem myself. I’m sorry I’m such a terrible alpha, I miss you so much it hurts to be away from you any longer.”, Soul cried, he never cried in front of you, wet hot tears spilled from his eyes as he rubbed his forehead atop yours. You didn’t respond you just held him, you held his face in your hands and softly kissed his desperate lips in an attempt to please his alpha but it wasn’t enough. You both just needed each other and for now that was enough until you got better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black ⭐️ Star

It wasn’t rare for you both to argue, you were both just naturally competitive and that’s what he loved about you. He was competitive because he wanted to prove that even he could defeat a god. (Y/n) was competitive because she hated Omegan stereotypes and wanted to prove that she was a capable fighter to everyone, so why did this argument over another alpha complimenting your strength end so horribly. Black Star had hit a breaking point due to several recent defeats and seeing another Alpha make you smile destroyed what little restraint and patience he had left. He tried attacking the other Alpha but you stopped him...you stopped him and Omega, that was all it took to send him into a fury. Things were said that shouldn’t have been said but worst of all he had used your second gender status against you. After screaming at you he seemed to settle down but the guilt from his words flooded him immediately and you left before he could find the right words to apologize.

“(Y/n) your scent is weak on my scarf can you please scent it, I’ll scent your sweat-“

“Leave me alone. An omega beneath you shouldn’t even be in your presence remember?”, you responded coldly making Black Star stop in his tracks.

After the fight you chose to ignore him, if he didn’t need you then why would you need him? Your pack mates provided you enough attention to stay positive and happy as an omega so you didn’t need him but Death did he need you. He knew he was annoying you he could tell by the sour tone your scent took when you noticed him but he wanted to apologize for being a dumbass. If this kept up then you’d move on and another alpha would scoop you up and steal you away or worse mark you and leave him alone forever.

“(Y/n)...(y/n) I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to-I...It’s just that I-“, he tried to find the right words but your weapon partner had pulled you away from him and rushed to the women’s bathroom to hide.

This silent treatment was driving Black Star insane, he hadn’t seen you in two weeks already and it was driving him mad. He would cry himself to sleep every night as your scent slowly faded from his belongings. Black Star couldn’t handle this anymore you were so much more stronger if this wasn’t torture for you like it was for him. During dinner his emotions seemed to finally escape him.

“Black Star we’re going on a mission with Kid and Maka try to get some sleep so-“

“Tsubaki I don’t want to fight anymore.”, Black Star admitted as tears spilled from his eyes.

Tsubaki’s heart stopped to the very sight of her miester breaking down, separations between alpha and omega pairs always affected the individual parties differently but she didn’t know it would have this much of an effect on her poor miester. She was fed up seeing you both in so much pain, you were stupid for being so stubborn and hiding away from him, and he was stupid for starting the fight and crying over it instead of pushing to apologize properly! The raven haired teen sighed and stood to her feet and quietly left without another word. Black Star just cried over his food before returning to his ridiculously cluttered room. Losing you had made him lose all drive to do anything, what was he to do now that you seemed to be leaving him. He sat in his bed wrapped up in his blankets while staring up at the ceiling replaying the argument in his head again and again...why did he have to be such an idiot?

He heard a soft knock at his door and thought it was Tsubaki so he ignored it, but then he heard another knock and this time a voice, “H-hey Star...you there?”, your voice sounded from the other side of his door but he just though it was his imagination.

“Alpha I’m here.”, you called again the scent of cinnamon rolls poured into his room from his door and he quickly realized that you were there.

You could hear thumping and stomping from behind the door and stepped back as the door swung open revealing your exhausted mate. Tsubaki had dragged you to the house after finding you crying over Black Star in your room and yelled at you to stop being thick headed and stubborn since you were both suffering. You opened your mouth to say something but the moment his hands cupped your cheeks, his lips met yours, and his addicting scent of pine tree and fresh rain flooded your scenes you knew he truly meant that he was sorry. He slowly pushed you back into the wall pressing his body close to yours as he kissed you silly. Finally being able to enjoy your scent and touch you brought a new batch of tears to his eyes and he kissed you like it would be his last.

“B-black mmm Black Star...mmmn~ Black Star listen to me.”, you panted between kisses trying to get his attention.

He was afraid you would tell him something he didn’t want to hear so he didn’t want you to talk. ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Please don’t leave me’ and ‘I love you’ spilled from his lips between each kiss as he desperately tried to apologize to you.

He opened his mouth to say something new but it was the same thought on both of your minds, “I’ve missed you.”, you both sighed.

Black Star’s heart was beating like a drum against your chest as he pressed himself closer to you. You had both finally made up and he refused to make the same mistake again because being separated from you was a worse torture then death itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death the Kid

Just for a moment you were reminded that you weren’t good enough for Kid...your insecurities had resurfaced the moment you saw him smiling and dancing with that other omegan girl during the ball. Even when you tried to talk to him about it the other party guests wouldn’t give you two time alone but the final straw was when Kid himself said, “(Y/n) you’re such a needy omega can’t you see I’m busy.”, he’s said it to you many times before as a joke but today you knew he truly meant it by how cruel and rude he was.

“Oh and who might you be little dear? Do you know young master Death?”, one of the guests asked you.

You simply smiled and shook you head much to Kid’s surprise, “My apologize I’m simply another desperate omega making a fool of herself.”, you hummed dipping into a small curtsy before disappearing from sight.

You had made your nest at the Gallows Manor so Kid expected to see you there after the Ball since you seemed upset but you were no where in sight. He called for you through every room in the huge mansion but not once did he get a response or a clue to where you could’ve been. It worried him sure but it was just a party that couldn’t have upset you that bad right? He went to sleep without you that night your side littered in fluffy toys and pillows in hopes that he’d find you buried in a fort of them the next morning but still there was nothing.

“Liz, Patty, has (Y/n) contacted either of you? She didn’t come home last night.”, Kid explained a worried expression etching itself over his face as he started to panic.

“Nope she didn’t call me.”, Patty answered.

“I don’t have anything.”, Liz replied.

“Well without a doubt she’ll be at school. Sebastian is in rut right now so I know her team hasn’t been dispatched on any missions.”, he huffed summoning Beelzebub to get to school earlier in hopes of finding you.

He asked all of his friends and yours to try and find you but still there was no sight of you. Until he discovered that Crona and Team Cerberus had been dispatched on a mission together. He couldn’t believe it, you never once left without asking him to scent your belongings or without a warning so why did you do it now?

“Kid?”, a voice called drawing his attention.

The young reaper’s heart dropped seeing your weapon partner right before him, why was Sebastian here when you were out on a mission? You had no weapon for this A-rank mission this had to be a joke!

“W-why aren’t you with (Y/n)?”, he stuttered reaching for your partner’s collar as his anger boiled, “Why are you here while she’s out there?”

“Because I was in Rut I couldn’t go with her. At least I couldn’t until she snapped me out of it.”

“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean ‘she’ knocked you out of rut?!”, Kid growled.

Kid’s rage was settled the moment he caught a whiff of your scent, Kid was hypersensitive to any change in scents and the burning scent of rubber that was lightly hunted with your usual calm honey apple scent was utterly heartbreaking.

“W-what is this?”, he stuttered shaking as he removed the jacket from his face.

“She came to me crying last night...saying something along the lines of ‘He looked happier with her’ and ‘I was right I’m not good enough for him’ and my favorite bit ‘Who wants to be with an needy omega that has no self confidence?’ Kid I don’t know what you did but for (Y/n)’s sadness to be able to knock me out of rut and trigger my instincts to protect her then whatever you did to her last night might’ve been enough to trigger her into depression. You’re an asshole to not have noticed that (Y/n) never thought of herself as good enough to be your partner.”, Sebastian growled putting his jacket back on.

Kid’s body was shaking, not from anger but from guilt and worry. He didn’t bother staying much longer and ran to the entrance of the school. Once again he summoned Beelzebub and raced to Spain to stop you from getting hurt, he didn’t know! He didn’t once think you would think so poorly of yourself he loved you dearly so he never believed that his love was never enough for you to see what he see in you. You wouldn’t answer his calls so he didn’t bother calling but he knew Crona would! As soon as they did he begged them to put you on the phone or at least get close to you so he could explain himself. He cried his heart out into his phone but still you wouldn’t respond. Crona had to turn down the volume on their end just to keep from drawing attention from the other train passengers but you barely seemed to respond to anything Kid said.

“(Y/n) you’re perfect! You’re perfect because you’re imperfect, you to good to be mine but I can’t dare think of a day going by without you by my side. You’re always there for me when I’m upset, you’ve always been by my side to make me smile or kiss me good morning! (Y/n) I’m sorry I know I was acting out of line yesterday night but if I had known that you weren’t being needy and that you just felt self conscious then I would’ve listened! I would’ve scooped you up and taken you home and laid with you in bed reminding you why you’re so beautiful and perfect for me! I would’ve talked about the future that I want with you as my mate and my wife, you didn’t have to run away from me!”, Kid cried feeling overwhelmed by just how much space separated you from him.

He had to stop, he had to catch his breath, he felt his lungs burning from screaming and from hyperventilating but he had to keep going.

“(Y/n) please just don’t do this. This isn’t going to be an easy mission and you don’t have a weapon please don’t do this.”, he whimpered into the phone hopping that his begging would be enough to stop you.

“I don’t want to see you.”, he couldn’t even register your voice or the fact that you hung up after that. His body was frozen like stone from just the sickened tone of your voice.

He screwed up...he royally screwed up. As if he couldn’t push his powers more then he already had he pushed past his limit, he had to get to Spain and fast! He still had 3800 miles to reach you and he wasn’t going to let you go through with this even if you were mad at him. Even as tears poured from his lifeless golden hue he wouldn’t let his heart forget this pain even after he got you to forgive him. He reached Spain by nightfall and searched for your soul wavelength until he found it in the city of Pamplona, but the mission had already begun he saw the bull like kishin egg charging at your teammates and searched only for you. Until the creature was shot dead by a Barrett M-82 rifle, much to his surprise you were the miester wielding the weapon. You released your temporary weapon partner so they could collect the soul and collapsed to the floor of the rooftop as your fever finally set in.

“(Y/n)!”, Kid screamed drawing everyone’s attention as he raced to your side, he pulled your body close to his and frowned feeling your intense fever from your skin.

“An omegan depression.”, he frowned growling to himself as he held you closer. Your pack mates arrived to get you but the murderous glow in Kid’s eyes kept everyone at bay.

No one would touch you until he pulled you out of depression and no one would see you until he apologized and was forgiven by you.

[clefairymuke]

regrets | chapter fourteen

prev. chapter | next chapter

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 2075

For the days to come, Levi remained calm and cold. It was difficult to hide your protests and questions behind your tongue, but when he arrived one night with one teacup instead of two, you grew exhausted of fighting. In fact, the two of you rarely shared anything more than smalltalk, which was the most disheartening product of the newfound awkwardness between you and Levi. Really, disheartening was the least of emotions you could assign to this new mode of interaction -- it was miserable.

It was nearly impossible to accept that the relationship may never return to its previous tranquility; however, this was the hard truth. As your leg grew closer to normal than injured, it was undeniable that you would soon be returning to life among your peers -- the dining hall, training exercises, expeditions outside the walls. Though daunting, it was the inevitable -- likely coming as early as this morning, as terrifying, exciting, anxious and wonderful as that may sound. Although one part of you was as excited as ever to get back in the field with your comrades, the simple comfort you achieved within the walls of the infirmary had become your personal normal. You shuttered at the thought of sharing a room with fifty other girls, without room for moonlight visitors and warm, comforting company. Without room for Jean.

Without room for Levi.

Your mind, though wandering, seemed as if it always led in a meandering circle back to him. It was a stark change in thought -- a chat in the Captain's office was once your definition of a nightmare. Now you wished for just one more shared grin over a lukewarm teapot. It was almost embarrassing.

Maybe, you considered often, his feelings did not change as yours did. Perhaps you did look too far into it. In fact, he likely still saw you as the same nuisance he did a month ago, and nothing you ever saw in him and his softened grey eyes was any more than a delusion. You were another young girl with wild feelings for her superior. He was used to that. Then you remembered his hand on yours, how he poured your tea, how he drew circles along your body as you "slept," and remembered again that it was impossible to imagine how he cared for you. The key word, of course, was the past-tense "cared."

At times, your restless mind brought forward the offhanded thought that Eren did care for you. You would remember how you cast him aside without a chance, and then only a week later were you pining after Levi like a schoolgirl with a crush. Maybe that was proof that you didn't deserve that kind of relationship; maybe you were stupid to shoo Eren away like a dog that got a bit too playful. But, however fortunate or unfortunate it may be, the past is unchanging. Not that that made the present any less of a confusing, painful mess. Sometimes it felt like it made it even worse.

---

The smell of the dining hall rushed over you before realization settled. You walked next to Jean -- not holding onto him, or using him to support you every few steps, actually walking. It felt nice. Though you made friendly and funny conversation, you knew he could sense your clear apprehension. Before you entered, he squeezed your shoulder in one hand and shot you a comforting grin.

You noticed a few eyes trailing over at you as you walked to pick up your tray; it didn't bother you. You expected some of those outside your circle to wonder about how you had been -- the news of you saving Jean's life would've been talked about at least a few times. What bothered you was that a certain pair of grey eyes never bothered to look away from Erwin, even when you passed straight by where he sat. Was the disinterest real?

You took your tray from the line and peered down at it: soup, bread, and a potato. Same as always. You wondered how Sasha always made it seem so appetizing. Jean led you over to the table you spent two long weeks without -- everyone greeting you with a smile and Sasha with a hug. You sat amongst your friends with an unpreventable grin, their excited "hello"s giving you the bit of joy you needed to keep going that day. You fielded their questions about your time at the infirmary with boring half-truths, trying your best to avoid the secret you entrusted only with Jean. You began to realize how difficult it was to separate your time in the infirmary from talks of your time spent with Levi.

Every so often, you found your eyes trailing over to where he sat, your line of sight grazing his raven-colored hair. You remembered how messy it was that morning after he spent the night. It brought the beginnings of a frown to your face. Against your better judgement, you allowed yourself to ponder on why he hadn't so much as glanced in your direction; was he not concerned for you as everyone else was? You had even met eyes once with Mike and Reiner, and yet Levi was not the slightest bit curious about you?

It pulled your spirits down rather quickly, the joy brought on by your friends dwindling down each time you allowed yourself to gaze at the puzzling and infuriating man across the room. Jean followed your eyes once or twice, seeing your face fall a bit lower each time. He tossed his arm around you, pulling you close; he tried to make it as casual as possible, while still giving you as much comfort as he could.

You leaned into him and closed your eyes, trying your hardest to rid Levi from even the furthest parts of your mind. This was a happy day -- you shouldn't let your infatuation with him ruin that. Jean rubbed your shoulder with his thumb inconspicuously, as if to tell you everything would be alright.

Unbeknownst to you, he saw Levi's head turn to gaze at you for a few seconds -- not an offhanded or accidental glance. The look in his eyes could most closely be described as wistful. When his eyes met Jean's, he looked away briskly, returning to his conversation with Erwin as if he had never even noticed you.

---

Sparring with Christa was nowhere near challenging, but you understood why you were paired with her. Your superiors still worried about your injury and likely would in the coming weeks; still, you had hoped for at least a little bit of a challenge. Hange was leading the activity, scanning across the scouts to make corrections or shout words of encouragement. To your dismay, however, Levi hung idly by, eyes focusing dead on one soldier at a time, presumably determining each individual weakness and scolding them in the confines of his mind.

You had begun to goof off, laughing at a joke Christa told and hardly trying to land any hits. If anything, it was entertaining. You worried you would grow tired too quickly during training, anyway; maybe easing into it was best.

You dodged another weak punch, laughing as her eyes grew jokingly narrower. It seemed as if no one else around was having as much fun as you were -- focused in on their partner and trying their hardest to look like they were the best. You watched Mikasa's unwavering stare at Sasha, who evaded her as best she could. Then you turned your eyes to Jean and Eren, their hits getting a bit too real and anger replacing focus. It made you laugh again.

You and Christa elected to take a small break, sipping from your canteens and chatting about your walking lessons with Hange. You froze mid-smile as you heard a certain voice call out your name from several yards away -- Levi.

You stood, screwing the lid back onto your water and laying it down on the ground. "Yes?" you replied, your eyes meeting his for the first time in days. They didn't look happy.

He approached you with a glare until he stood only a foot from you, his voice lowering with the distance. "What are you doing?" he asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

"Um --" you started, unsure of exactly what he was asking, "I'm taking a break?"

"I've seen much more talking than training. You don't seem tired in the slightest. Why are you taking a break?" he demanded, his arms folding over his chest.

His words puzzled you -- why does he care if you take a break? You were recently injured. None of your other superiors would object to a bit of rest on your first day back. Nonetheless, the fire of his anger had never once failed to light the match within you. "Who are you to tell me if I'm tired? Fuck, Levi, I just got out of the infirmary. Give me a break."

He shook his head, exhaling loudly to make his annoyance clear. "Captain. We should test it to see what you look like when you're actually tired enough for a break. Do you think ten laps would do it?"

"You can't be serious. That's bullshit and you know it," you grumbled, hands balling into fists at your side.

"What's bullshit is the way you're treating this training exercise as a game. Ten laps. Now."

Maybe things really were returning to normal. It almost made you want to laugh.

---

As you laid in your bed that night -- finally your bed -- you replayed the events of the day like a movie. The girls inhabiting the beds around you were long asleep, the moon peering through the window and reminding you that you would be awake and staring up at it for hours to come.

It was your first night without him. Even when your relationship had crumbled into nothing, he still came to sit at your side. And you still found an easy journey to your dreams each and every night. Of course, you knew there would be a time when he wasn't there and the nights grew long yet again -- you just didn't expect these negative emotions overtaking your mind to assist in depriving you of much-needed sleep.

Your anger with Levi had yet to subside, your legs aching from all the running he had you do. You considered for a moment marching over to his suite and giving him a piece of your mind; you thought of reminding him of the moments the two of you had shared just so he had to make the contrast in how he was acting now. You wanted to yell at him, and you wanted him to yell back, and you wanted to be angry. You didn't understand why he had all the freedom in the world to be a dick to you and all you could do was stand there and take it.

Maybe when you were done yelling at each other, you could curl up in his bed and get a good night's rest. You could kill two birds with one stone and avoid the seven or eight nightmares that were guaranteed to keep you awake and alert until morning. What a rock and a hard place situation -- for the man that made you more angry than you had ever been to simultaneously be your only solace from insomnia. It infuriated you even further.

As you had already done three times before, you decided against it. Arguing with him wasn't worth it. Again, the past was unchanging. Your anger was quickly replaced with the sadness the night frequently brought along, your thoughts traveling yet again to your feelings for Levi and your longing for him to share them.

You were wary, at best, for the long night ahead of you; you were sick and tired of long nights. Part of you hoped to break your right leg tomorrow, so you could have a little bit more time to solve it all and get some sleep while you were at it. You were even warier for the weeks to come, knowing that you would be forced to come to terms with the situation as it was.

Levi, Levi, Levi. If everything else was going back to how it was before, why couldn't you take your mind off of him?

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.04

10/23/2020

Strong Arms and Honest Kisses

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 3,636

Warnings: failed relationships, talks of lonliness, angst, FLUFF, complicated relationships

A/N: This one is a little shorter than my chapters recently. Part of this is because this felt like a complete chapter but I also did a lot of rewriting with this one. I wrote half of it, then deleted it. Then wrote it again. Then deleted it. I finally got a good flow going and this is the one I liked the most. I hope y’all like it too. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

Please do not REPOST my stories on any other sites or blogs.

REBLOGS are always welcome and appreciated!

The walk back to your room is awkward.

Full of fluttering hesitant energy.

There’s a new electricity between your body and Thor’s as he walks beside you, heavy feet falling slowly, with forethought.

He has his hands behind his back, feeling the need to keep them to himself after what happened in the garden.

You appreciate the space.

“That was my first kiss.” You admit, hating the silence between you because it feels like both of you want to say so much but are unwilling to speak first.

“Oh,” Thor laments, his gaze wavering. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!” You rush to reassure him, shrugging a shoulder as you look straight once more. “I-I mean, you wanted a maiden, right? A virgin?”

When you look at him, he’s blushing, his cheeks a soft pink underneath that hay colored beard.

It’s cute and you feel a surge of warmth for him fill your chest.

“That wasn’t necessarily what I wanted.” He clarifies.

“Oh…” Your turn to lament. “I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, a flurry of worries come rushing forward. You don’t have any experience. None. Zero. Tonight has been the most action you’ve ever seen in your life.

No one has ever held your hand.

No one has ever been so caring and sweet.

No one has definitely ever kissed you.

No one has ever proposed.

You have no experience to offer Thor, as a wife, will you be able to satisfy him?

He’s a literal God. He’s really, super old, and has probably slept with lots of women…or…beings? Aliens?

How are you going to live up to that?

“I just…I’ve never even really liked anyone, so I never was with anyone, and I’m sorry-” You fret, stopping to look up at him.

He places his hands over yours, stopping your fidgeting.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He whispers gently.

You meet his blue eye and it’s just as soft as his voice.

“We can talk about that part of our marriage later. Let’s take this one day at a time.”

“But I-I don’t know what to do with that. I mean, I kinda know but I don’t know. I don’t want to-I’m kinda scared of-”

Thor’s blush returns and your own neck is suddenly burning.

That previously terrifying image of Thor prying your legs open that you’d imagined back at home replays itself in your mind, this time the fear is not for the man himself but the act in general.

Thor’s hands finding the side of your neck interrupt your vocal vomit.

With you silenced, he traces the lines of your shoulders, the length of your arms before he takes hold of your elbows over your cloak which is keeping them warm.

“We have time, cherub.” The pet name comes out of nowhere and sounds so strange but good and you’re not sure you know how to breathe anymore. “Time to worry about many things later. Tonight, let’s just enjoy this agreement to try.”

With a lick to your lips, you nod, shutting your eyes as you’re overwhelmed by not only the pleasure that stupid pet name has given you but also his hands still wrapped around your elbows.

“Thank you for telling me.” Thor whispers, pulling you a little closer. “These are things that are good to know. I will be sure to make preparations for us.”

“Preparations?” You nearly squeak.

“Things to make it easier for you. But as I said,” his ears grow nice and red too, now. “We have plenty of time to think about that later. Almost three days!”

You scoff, “That’s not a lot of time, Thor.”

“No,” he chuckles. “I suppose you’re right.”

“This is happening so fast.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. That’s my fault. I’ve been putting this choice off for so long that now that I’ve made it, they want me to follow through quickly.” Thor takes a step back, reaching down to take your hand.

You eagerly hold his hand back, grateful for the comfort it gives you but also you really like holding his hand, you realize.

“Let’s get you to bed. Even though Hilde was completely drunk, she’ll still wake up early enough to make you hate her.” He pulls you along, his hand giving yours a gentle squeeze every few steps.

“Thor?”

“Hm?” He asks, not sparing you a glance.

“You don’t have to do this, you know?” Your own eyes are glued to his hand around yours.

You seriously like the way his hand looks around yours. Why are you letting yourself fall this hard? It’s not right. It’s not fair. To you. To him.

“Do what?” He asks, genuinely confused.

“This.” You give your hand a shake, the two of you rounding the corner to the hall where your room is.

He doesn’t stop walking until he reaches the door. He twists the knob and pulls it open, stepping in with you before turning to close it.

Swallowing hard, you try not to lose your breath again. There’s a pressure in your chest that you know is coming from the way he shut that door.

He turns, strutting towards you as he keeps hold of your hand. You take several steps back until your legs hit the edge of your bed forcing you to sit.

For a moment you think he might move over you, just like that image in your head. Instead he sits down beside you.

“Can I be honest with you about something?” He asks, pulling your hand over onto his lap.

“I hope so.” You relax, waiting patiently as he takes a deep breath.

“I haven’t seen Jane in almost three months.” He explains. “She’s been secluded in an installation in the middle of nowhere. In Wyoming? And I’ve been so busy here…this is the same struggle we always have. I cannot get away because of my own duties now much more formal and inescapable as King. And Jane’s work has always been the most important thing to her.

“I knew that when we agreed to try again but I was hoping that we might both take some time to prioritize our relationship. Jane was the first person I met when I was sent here. She was kind and patient. She was brilliant. Smartest person I’ve ever met. Smarter than Stark and Banner, don’t tell them I told you that.” He smiles. “But it’s that very brain that keeps her focus elsewhere. And I don’t begrudge her that passion. It’s one of the reasons I fell for her.

“But we don’t seem to be able to make it work.”

Hearing him praise her so much, love her so openly dries your throat and you can’t swallow to push past the lump there to speak. So, you say nothing.

“This,” Thor pulls your hand up a little, readjusting and holding it more securely. “This feels good.”

That helps.

“But you wish it was her?” You wonder.

Thor goes silent, averting his eyes to his hand around yours.

“Not anymore.” He sighs. “Until tonight, I would have said yes. I would have given anything for you to be Jane. To marry the woman I love? How could I not want that? It’s what I’ve always hoped for.”

You feel disappointment pull your body down, shoulders slumped, head falling so that you don’t have to look at him anymore.

You feel strong fingers take hold of your chin, gently tilting your head back until you can meet his electric blue eye.

“When I met you, I was surprised. I’d met with woman, after woman, after woman, after woman-”

“Alright, I get it.” You frown.

Thor stops to laugh but then nods, “Sorry. I only mean that every woman I met, all the other princesses and duchesses and ladies once related to direct royal families were kind but there was something calculating about the way they spoke. They were careful with the things they said and I didn’t feel like I was really getting to know them.”

“But with me?”

“With you, I-it was like recognizing someone that I’d known my whole life. You sat there, terrified but unable to keep from speaking your mind. You were honest about not wanting to marry for anything but love and I understood how you felt. I’d made up my mind not to choose you then. I didn’t want to take from you what was being taken from me, but I-the more I thought about marrying one of those women…I told myself I would let you find someone you could be with, even as my wife.

“We’d keep it secret. You could be with them and I would give you your privacy and let you live that life while protecting it for you.” He sighs. “Then you came here, and dinner brought me hope. I didn’t think that you could ever want to feel any other way for me than that disappointment I saw cross your face when I asked you to marry me and live your life with me without feeling loved.”

“Neither did I.” You confess, words coming out in a rush. “I hated you when I came here. I hated my family for being related to royalty. I hated that I was suddenly being asked to think about shit that I honestly, didn’t even care about! And then I met you and you were nice and confused and you asked me that stupid fucking question about my ideal marriage and I had no one else to picture so I pictured you and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

Thor smiles, “If I’m honest, that’s also what drew me to you. To be fair though, I didn’t ask any of the other women that question, but it was clear without them having to say so that they were after the prestige that comes with being a human Queen of Asgard.”

“But I know that you still love her.” You continue, ignoring the sweet smile he’s giving you because your mind will not stop fretting. “I know that you’d much rather have it be Jane so, I’m only saying that you don’t have to force yourself to hold my hand or show me affection when you don’t feel it.”

Thor sighs heavily, a huff as he takes hold of your head with both massive hands and pulls you towards him to meet his lips.

This time your surprise only lasts a second before you squeeze your eyes shut and pucker your lips back against his.

You can feel his body shake and you tear your eyes open, searching for what’s making him laugh but find him watching you.

He pulls back, thumbs caressing your cheeks.

“Relax. There’s no need to be nervous.” He whispers, deep. It settles in your chest cavity and you really like the sound of his voice.

“I’ve never kissed before.” You remind him. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Kissing is easy.” Thor tells you. “Just pucker your lips,”

You do as he asks, self-conscious but eager to feel that kiss again.

“Then let me do the rest.” He pulls you back to him and your eyes shut as his lips meet yours.

It’s only a peck. A held one. Until Thor’s hands guide your head to the right as he tilts his to the left and suddenly his lips are overlapping your own. They’re hot, wet, and his breath tickles.

You jump as the tip of his tongue rolls along the seam of your mouth and without making the choice to do it, you open for him and he delves in slowly. Your body is suddenly humming, your mind overcome, and it all feels like a dream.

He inhales as he kisses you, tongue swirling around your own and you don’t know what to do so you reach out to grip the edge of his armor around his chest, hands fisted around the leather while he leads you in this dizzy dance.

He tilts your head the other way, breaking the kiss to take a breath giving you a second to gasp, but then he’s back on you, smothering your whimper of surprise with his lips.

As he presses against yours again, he dives in with more excitement, mouth open, tongue tasting.

You’re trembling, legs shaking with nerves as your hands hold on harder.

As he pulls away, lips smacking quietly, he caresses your cheeks again, letting you come down from your high.

He waits patiently until your eyes open, searching wildly to see what you might find in his.

All you find is his own searching, his own curiosity.

“Um…” You mumble, voice barely audible.

“If you let me in,” He says, his breath washing over your lips again making the past few minutes replay in vivid color. “I will open for you. I think we can do this right. I want to do this right. Will you do this with me?”

Your hands are shaking around his arm, still reeling from that kiss. Holy shit.

“I already said yes.” You point out.

“Say it again.” Thor pleads, scooting closer.

You’re almost completely pulled against his chest, hands squished between your bodies.

“This is happening so fast.” You gasp, confused but happy.

“It has to.” He nods. “I want it to.”

“But how do I know it’s real?” You wonder, and to answer you, Thor crushes you against his chest, head dipping until he meets your lips again.

“It’s real.” He says, tilting your head again, coaxing your mouth open.

You respond more eagerly this time, letting your tongue swirl around his to meet it in its frenzy. Your heart pounds with excitement. This is new and you can understand why people like it. You’ve wondered in passing what it would feel like when you saw it happen in films and shows, taking the books you’d read as gospel for what it feels like but they pale in comparison to the reality.

It’s a haze of pleasure. Foggy but the emotions sharp. It’s also possessive. It feels like yours now. This with Thor can never belong to anyone else. The very thought of it being felt by someone else breaks your heart and also boils your blood.

It makes you bolder, pulling him closer where you have hold of him.

“Let me in.” Thor whispers against your lips, giving you one small final peck. “It’s real for me, I swear to you.”

Can you trust him?

Everything he’s said so far makes sense. His disillusionment with his relationship with Jane is not fake. You were able to hear the sadness in his voice, the acceptance when he explained what was happening with her.

“If you can try to love me, I will try to love you.” He whispers, reaching down with his thumb to trace the shape of your lower lip.

You shut your eyes, seduced by his touch.

“You’re not playing fair,” You sigh. “This is coercion.”

Opening your eyes, you find Thor smiling, and you wonder if this is what he looks like when he likes someone. Is this him smitten?

You don’t think so.

You can’t wrap your mind around him being anything but tolerant of you. He’d been so vocal about loving Jane that you can’t see how only meeting with you twice might override that, even if they are currently struggling.

“I already told you yes! Brunnhilde was right about you.”

“And I want to hear you say it again. For good measure.” He traces the line of your jaw, cup your chin from beneath once he reaches it. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that you’ll try with me. We’ll do everything in our power and devote ourselves to each other. You’ll love me and I will love you.”

His words give your stomach flutters and the way he’s holding your chin makes it so that you can’t look away to clear your head.

So, you nod. “I will love you, Thor. We’ll make this work. As long as you never touch me unless you really want to. I don’t want you to force it. I want it to be real.”

Desperately, you want it. Now more than ever.

“Deal.” Thor says, then wraps one arm around your shoulders and meets your lips again.

~~~~~~~~~~

You wake with a gasp, reaching around for something though you don’t know what. No one had slept with you.

The bed is rightfully empty. As you sit up, you remember every little detail of last night. The words that were spoken, the declarations made, the kisses.

Oh, fuck, the kisses!

You lay back down, heart pounding while you urge yourself to think of every single shift of Thor’s lips against your own.

They’d been so hot, and wet once he’d French kissed you. His tongue had been thick and smooth in its movements. Skilled though you don’t know what you’d compare it to in order to know that for sure.

His arms had been huge and strangely safe. Wrapped up around you, he’d been a powerhouse of heat and strength, lulling you into a calm you’ve never felt before.

Reaching up to scratch your forehead, a small shine catches your eye, and you find your engagement ring, dazzling you with its beauty and the memory of Thor on one knee.

For a moment you’re almost sure that you’ll wake up and all of this will be a dream. A good dream that you had no idea you could ever have wanted.

Then a knock on your door makes you jump, and you sit up again.

Through the door marches Brunnhilde with the swagger of a soldier heading into battle, her clothes relaxed however, plain jeans, a red sweater, and heavy work boots.

“Good!” She smiles at you, “You’re awake! Estrid, bring in Her Highness’s breakfast and set aside one of the other dresses His Majesty bought for her.”

“I’m wearing another uncomfortable dress?” Your sorrow is clear and Brunnhilde smiles at you, her eyes flitting towards your ring. “So, that’s what they were up to.”

You follow her gaze and take a long look at your ring, “Who?”

“Loki and Thor.” Estrid moves past Brunnhilde, heading towards the desk at the far side of the room and places it there before she hurries to the armoire to sift through the dresses. “They’d disappeared a few days ago, went shopping or so they said. I didn’t believe them but clearly, they told me the truth. Just didn’t think they were shopping for a ring. It’s pretty.”

“It’s a lotus flower.” You tell her, throwing your blankets back and sliding to the edge of the bed. “He said he didn’t know that I liked flowers but was happy that I did since I’d like the ring more.”

“He said that?” She wonders, grabbing your robe from the vanity seat then offering it to you.

Taking it, you slip it on and tie it loosely around your waist. The smell of the food pulls you to the desk and you sit, immediately picking apart the eggs and toast.

“Mm.” You nod. “He did. He also said that he really wants to try. He’s willing to really give us a shot.”

Brunnhilde sits on the end of your bed, watching you eat with the space between her eyes puckered.

“Then he’s chosen to give her up finally.” Brunnhilde realizes, surprise painting her tone.

You look at her, intrigued by her own surprise.

“Is that weird?”

“No. Not weird, just unlikely. I never thought he’d really give up on Jane. They were so in love in the beginning when we first arrived. They were always together. Slowly they saw each other less and less, but his devotion never wavered.” She explains.

This doesn’t make you feel good. In fact, hearing about how deep their love was—is—unsettles you.

Fork still in your mouth, you watch her, mind racing.

“Eat up, Your Highness.” Brunnhilde says, rising. “Get dressed and meet me in the main hall. We have to go into town for your wedding dress fitting.”

As she moves for the door and Estrid crosses the room to your bed to lay out a stunning navy dress that looks way too formal for a dress fitting, you turn in your seat, hands grasping the back as you twist to follow her.

“Is Thor awake?”

“Yes.” Brunnhilde nods. “He left about half an hour ago for Wyoming to go see Jane, I assume to break things off with her.”

“Oh,” You shrink, fears you didn’t know you could have choking you.

What if he sees her and realizes he loves her too much to let her go? What if she changes her mind and decides that watching him marry someone else is unbearable? She decides to marry him and then he comes back to tell you that she’s agreed to be Queen and he no longer needs you?

Last night had only cemented your growing feelings for Thor and there is no way you can ever go back to before those kisses.

“He’ll be back tonight.” Brunnhilde assures you, but it only drives you crazier.

Why does he need until tonight?

Why so long? How many kisses will he give her? How many hugs will she take?

You shouldn’t begrudge him this goodbye. You should accept that with it will come with tears and affection that you already see as yours. You don’t want her to have it but it’s not yours yet. It’s intended for you, but right now Thor’s love is still hers.

This God of Thunder has absolutely wrecked you and it’s clear to you that you can never go back to your little home without him. You can never live a life where his arms are not around you.

You’re absolutely fucked.

[bobohu4eva]

Pink Lace - Chapter 6

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader (feat. EXO members)

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Tag list: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banana @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey @deligxt @baekswifey @bbhyun506 @lovebuginlove @bellamendoza @baekyeonoreo @bobohumyonlyboo

Masterlist

You didn’t sleep. It just wasn’t possible, not when your mind was still going 500 miles per hour replaying every little detail of your time together in Baekhyun’s office. The way he sucked on the sensitive skin on the side of your neck, how you felt him dig into your hip as he’d sandwiched you between himself and the wall. Your entire stomach felt like it might leave your body if you didn’t get a hold of yourself. What end it would come out of, you had yet to decide on. 

The night dragged on and on and eventually you gave up, knowing it wasn’t going to happen. Sleep was not an option when your brain felt like it was running a marathon with you powerless to stop it. The thought just would not stop. Your own hormone filled brain had you by the balls.

Eventually you dragged your groggy self into the shower in an attempt to wake back up. The second you felt the hot water pour over your skin, you felt some of the tension in your muscles dissipate. It was like you could finally breathe deeply again, the heat forcing your body to relax, at least physically.

 By the time you were out of the shower it was around 5:00am. When you stepped out and began to dry yourself off you noticed the trail of dark purple marks going all the way from your neck down to your collarbones. Damn genetics for making you bruise so easily. You internally cursed yourself for letting him leave marks on you at all, but of course that had been the last thing on your mind in the moment. Mia would immediately have something to say when she saw them too, and you were not ready to recant the events of the night prior out loud to her. 

Seeing as it was already the early morning you decided it would be best to just get ready and get out of the house so you wouldn’t have to face her yet. You did your usual routine, and decided that after all the stress you’d been through in the last several hours, you’d treat yourself to breakfast at your favorite bakery. It was a quaint little place only a few blocks away that had amazing croissants and coffee and you figured it would at least temporarily help block out the crippling thoughts of his teeth grazing against the skin of your neck. Why the fuck did it have to feel that good?? 

You didn’t bother trying to cover the marks. It was far too warm still to wear anything like a turtleneck and you knew they were too dark for concealer to work. Damn his beautiful lips for creating something so visible yet so blasphemous.

After finishing your usual morning routine, you headed to the café and ordered your favorite. 

Croissant in hand, you were flipping through a book, sitting and enjoying your coffee when you heard your name, and looked up to see a familiar man, tall and slightly dorky looking, gazing down at you. 

“Yeah that's me, Chanyeol, right?” You asked.

“Yeah...” He stared down at you with an unreadable look on his face, and you wondered if he would force you to talk to him. You had only met Chanyeol once before, the first night he brought Baekhyun to your work. “Can I sit down?” 

“Uh... I guess. How do you know my name?” 

In all honesty you really did not want him to sit down with you. Of course he would want to talk about Baekhyun. You’d have rather poured your hot coffee down your pants than talked to him in that moment. This was exactly what you’d come here to avoid but the universe just had not been on your side lately. 

“Baekhyun told me. I’m glad I ran into you, I’ve never seen you here before, I always get my coffee here in the morning.”

“Well I’m usually not much of a morning person.” You replied, eyes on your coffee as you raised the mug to your lips, hoping it would magically invigorate you with the energy to have this conversation. It didn’t. 

“I actually need to talk to you about him.”

You immediately groaned in frustration. “Does this have to happen right now? I’m trying to have a relaxing morning and I’d really rather not talk about him right now.” You looked at him with a face that more or less said ‘please for the love of god just leave me alone’ but unfortunately for you he was quite determined, so he sat down across from you anyway. This stranger was really about to ruin your desperate attempt at a peaceful morning. 

“Just.. please be careful with him.” He started. “He’s the best person I know and he’s been through a lot recently. I don’t know what your intentions are with him but he likes you a lot and I don’t want to see him get hurt even more than he already has been.” 

You sighed. You could see where he was coming from. Anyone would be worried about their friend if they were in his situation. He probably thought you still only wanted Baekhyun’s money, that you were just the stripper who hit the jackpot with a guy who’s rich and nice. It was a realistic thing to be worried about. Customers like him were definitely the most profitable and girls would string them along all the time knowing how attached they were and take their money anyway. The more they thought they actually had a chance, the more they were generally willing to spend, too.  

“If you think I’m just using him for his money, I’m really not. I don’t know how much he’s told you, but last time he paid me I even tried to give it back.”

“Yeah he told me about that, so I figured you weren’t all bad, but still. And he talks to me about you a lot. It almost makes me regret bringing him to the club in the first place. If you end up screwing him over I’ll feel like it’s my fault too you know. That’s why I knew I had to say something when I saw you.” 

“You’re a good friend. But you really don’t need to be worried.” 

He raised an eyebrow, obviously not convinced. “Does he know you’re seeing other people?” 

You gave him a puzzled look, but quickly understood when his eyes drifted down to the marks decorating the skin of your neck. You knew he was only asking to protect his friend, but the accusing look on his face irked you anyway. Blood was already rushing to your cheeks at the thought of having to tell him where they’d really come from. 

“I, um, I’m actually not seeing other people...” You crossed your arms over your chest, slumping down into your seat in a subconscious effort to hide. By now you knew you were probably red all over, easily giving you away. The feeling of dread made its way back into your stomach, and your croissant didn’t even seem appealing to you anymore. “You haven’t talked to him since last night have you?” 

 His eyes went so wide you worried for a moment that they might pop right out of his skull and roll across the table and into your lap. 

“Did he..?” You nodded slowly, desperately trying to avoid giving him any of the thrilling details. “You guys slept together? You didn’t just come from his place did you? You didn’t just leave? I swear to god if you-”

“No!” You quickly clarified. “We didn’t sleep together, and I never went to his house, we just, um..” Your guts felt like they were about to end up on the table again, but Chanyeol was still looking at you expectantly. “I needed help with an assignment so I went to his office last night... we kissed, but that’s all.” 

“Quite some kiss it seems...” He said staring at the path of blue and purple that went all the way from below your ear to the hem of your shirt. And oh how he was right. It really had been something. Never in your life had a kiss affected you as much as Baekhyun’s had. Of course it had been much much more than just one little kiss, but there was no way you were going to say any more. The feeling of your stomach desperately trying to escape your body was too strong and you liked this café too much to get kicked out for vomiting all over the booth. 

“I thought more was gonna happen but he kind of threw me out of his office before we could, you know...” 

“He threw you out?” 

“Yeah, like grabbed my arm, dragged me into the hallway, and slammed the door behind him.” 

“Jesus what a dumbass.” You heard him whisper. “Do you like him the same way he likes you though?” You hesitated for a moment, but nodded again, and immediately noticed how his face lit up. “You know I really thought you were just going with it for the money. I’m glad you actually care about him as a person.” 

 “I mean I’ve known him a while now, how could I not...” You found yourself staring down at your hands as you fidgeted nervously, avoiding eye contact with the man in front of you. “Even if he wasn’t my professor now, he’s still just a good guy. I’ve never had a customer like him before. As dumb as it is, I’d be stupid not to like him, he makes it too easy.”

At that point Chanyeol was smiling widely back at you. “He’s an amazing guy, and he’s crazy about you. You won’t regret it.” A smile plastered itself onto your face as well, satisfied with his comment. “You know at first when me and the other guys found out he was coming back to see you every weekend we gave him so much shit.” 

You laughed, because you could imagine it perfectly. It honestly was quite stupid of him to get involved with a stripper of all people. You saw how many times guys would try to start something real with you or the other girls at your work only to leave with a broken heart and empty pockets, but that was just a part of your job. When you were first starting out you’d feel bad for them sometimes, but eventually you got used to it. These men weren’t exactly the pinnacle of society anyway, you told yourself. It didn’t help that those guys were always willing to spend more money too. They were really just screwing themselves over. It’s silly to expect anything real from a woman whose job it is to take money in exchange for temporary affection. Technically Baekhyun was also just another one of those stupid men who got themselves in too deep with someone completely unattainable, only now you actually liked him too.

“He is an idiot for that, for sure, but I’m just as much of an idiot for liking him back so I guess he won.” You laughed together, and you were beginning to feel much more at ease with him and with the conversation, thank heavens. 

“Thanks for letting me sit down, you really have no idea how much of a relief this is.” You rolled your eyes, you hadn’t allowed him to do anything, he’d just done it anyway. “I was so worried I got him into something that would hurt him even more. Women tend to really fuck him over.” 

His last statement puzzled you. Was he talking about Baekhyun’s ex? Sure what she did was awful, but had things really ended that badly? From the brief talk you’d had with him about her he didn’t seem to be that affected anymore but that was only one conversation. 

“Can I ask what the deal is with his ex?” Chanyeol leaned back, crossing his arms. His brows were furrowed, looking agitated by your question. “Sorry if that’s too far but I feel like that’s kind of important and I know almost nothing about her.” 

“She’s fucking bitch is all you need to know.” He scoffed. “They were together for 4 years and the whole time she treated him like a doormat. I never liked her. But it’s not really my place to talk.” 

“Oh... Sorry for asking, It’s just I found some pictures on Facebook when I looked him up. They looked really happy, she’s really pretty too.” You felt slightly embarrassed at your own words, but the curiosity was killing you. 

“Sure she looks nice but she’s a goddamn demon on the inside and they definitely weren’t happy, although she loved to make it look like they were so their families would keep being supportive. He deserves someone who actually gives a shit about him as a person, and not just what he can offer them. He cares about the people around him too much sometimes. Even when she’d treat him like shit he’d make excuses for her, saying she was dealing with things too, or some other bullshit.” 

Your heart ached. “Was he really upset when she left?”

You heard him let out a disappointed sigh, and knew the answer was yes. “Of course he knew she was only trying to use him for his money at that point, he’s not stupid, but when you’ve spent years of your life trying to make something work it still sucks when it ends. His parents really liked her too, they would get onto him all the time about why he hadn’t married her yet or given them grandkids. Thank god he didn’t. I think that’s what made it really sting when she left though. She didn’t just betray him she betrayed them too.” 

“What a bitch...” You were in disbelief that anyone could treat someone as wonderful as him so cruelly. The idea of him having possibly married her made you feel sick all over again.

“Yeah, she’s pretty much a megacunt. Thank god you seem to have a conscience.” He joked.

“I’m not gonna hurt him if I can help it. He’s so sweet I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself if I did.” 

“Well I’m glad to hear it.” He gave you a deep-dimpled smile and you laughed. “I’ll leave you alone now, I have work to get to, but thank you again for talking to me.”

“No problem.” You smiled back. “Hopefully you like me better than her already.” You joked. 

“That doesn’t take much” he laughed “but yes, definitely.” He got up and waved you goodbye, leaving you to enjoy the rest of your breakfast. 

In the end you were glad you’d run into him. You hadn’t given much thought to what Baekhyun’s friends might think about you, but it was a relief that the person closest to him didn’t just think you were using him for his money anymore. Obviously everything about your relationship with Baekhyun looked terrible on paper, and being able to explain your intentions made it feel like there was weight lifted off your chest that you hadn’t even known was there. 

~

Baekhyun woke up to his phone blowing up with messages from Chanyeol. Unlike you, he’d slept like a baby once the excitement of the evening had worn off a bit. 

Chanyeol: (7:23am) Just got done talking to your new gf, you seemed to have a fun night. About time you finally made a move on her.   

Chanyeol: (7:46am) You better call me when you wake up and tell me what the hell went down though. 

Chanyeol: (8:37am) Dude you’re killing me 

Baekhyun groaned when he read the messages, mind immediately thinking about all the embarrassing things Chanyeol could’ve possibly told you. Of course he talked to his best friend about you all the time, but you didn’t need to know that. His hands felt clammy as he began typing out a response

Baekhyun: (9:04am) What the hell did you guys talk about??? 

Chanyeol: (9:06am) She didn’t need to say much, you made things pretty clear with the way you attacked her neck, that shit looked intense. Good for you bro. 

Baekhyun quickly dialed his friend’s number, and not even one ring in he picked up. 

“What the fuck?” Baekhyun started, a bit too loud for how early it still was. “Why were you talking to her? What did you say to her? I swear to god if you told her some dumb shit I’m gonna-” 

“Relax! You know I’m a good wingman! I ran into her at the café and just wanted to make sure she wasn’t still leading you on for the money or anything so we talked for a little while. But she seems to genuinely care about you, I think she likes you a lot actually.” 

Baekhyun felt his heart skip a beat at his friend’s statement. Of course he figured you liked him after what had happened in his office, especially since you’d said it to him directly, but the fact that you had discussed your feelings for him with his best friend made it feel even better. He still thought that maybe you’d regret it in the morning, or it was just hormones that led you to act the way you did.

“What did she say?” 

“Well at first I thought she’d let someone else mark her up like that so I called her out, but then she told me what happened in your office last night. Well, sort of.” 

“Sort of?” 

“She didn’t seem to really want to talk about it in detail so I didn’t make her, but any girl would have to be crazy about a guy to him them maul their neck like that. I thought y’all had gotten into some weird BDSM shit at first. And why the fuck did you kick the poor girl out of your office? Are you dumb? You were totally about to get some.” 

“Because we were in my office.” 

“So? That’s pretty hot if you ask me.” 

“I just... I like her too much to end up fucking on the desk in my office like some sort of horny animal. I need to do it right, she deserves that much.” 

“That’s up to you, but man you must have some serious self control. She’s really hot.” 

“Watch it buddy.” Baekhyun said, trying to sound as threatening as one can over the phone. “What else did she tell you?”

“That was pretty much it about last night, she did ask about Jisoo though. I’m telling you she’s into you if she wants to know about your ex.” 

Even just the mention of her was enough to sour Baekhyun’s good mood. 

“What did you tell her about her?” 

“That I think she’s a massive bitch, obviously. And that you deserve better than that.”

Baekhyun stayed silent. He knew Chanyeol was right of course, she wasn’t a good person and he was better off now without her in his life but the way he talked about her still bothered him. 

“You don’t have to call her a bitch every time she comes up, I know she’s far from perfect but she’s still a person you know.” 

“Why are you even defending her? She fucked you up. And you actually seem to have found a girl who isn’t going to step all over you this time. So don’t ruin it.” 

“I’m not going to. Or at least I’m gonna try my best. I like this girl a lot.” 

“I know, you never shut the hell up about her. And she likes you enough to be stressing about your ex, so relax. She’s into you.” 

A small smile pulled at Baekhyun’s lips. After all this time, you really did like him. How fucking cool was that? The hottest girl at the strip club, who he’d fallen head over heels for like some dumb kid, was into him for real now. 

“Thanks bro, I needed to hear that.” 

“I know, I’m the best. So when are you asking her out?” 

Baekhyun felt stupid for not having considered that yet. Technically he was still just your professor/customer with benefits, but that definitely wasn’t the title he wanted to keep forever. 

“Shit I don’t know... Where do I even take her? What do I do? I haven’t had to do this in years.” 

“She’s a college student, I’m sure a nice dinner would impress her enough. You just have to do better than those greasy kids she goes to school with.” Chanyeol suggested casually, but Baekhyun wasn’t having it. 

“I want to do something special, not just some lame dinner. I’m sure she’s had plenty of college boys take her out to expensive restaurants with daddy’s money before. I have to do better than that.”  He was pacing now, trying to think of what the hell people even did for first dates aside from get food or see a movie. 

“Do something different then, drive her out into the country and prepare a nice picnic or something and watch the sunset together, girls love romantic shit like that.” 

“First I have to ask her out though, maybe I should bring some chocolate and flowers too. I want it to be perfect. And for her to say yes.”

“I know you’ll do great, don’t worry about it too much, she already likes you anyway. She’s gonna say yes. Just don’t say anything weird and she’ll totally fall in love with you.”

“I hope you’re right.” 

“I’m always right.”

It was getting later and later in the morning and Baekhyun needed to actually start getting work done, so he ended the call there. 

He had come up with some ideas for the date throughout the day, but they would all require quite some planning. He was going to do whatever he could to make sure you were thoroughly swept off your feet, he wouldn’t accept anything less than that. 

First though, he had to make sure you’d agree to go at all. 

~

The rest of your Thursday was spent more or less successfully getting Baekhyun off your mind with various school work and other mundane tasks. You’d stayed on campus, still avoiding Mia but eventually your classes were over and you needed to get back home. You knew you’d have to face her eventually anyway and at least now you’d had enough time to chill out about it a little.

Unfortunately for you Mia was in the living room when you entered the apartment, and within seconds her eyes traveled to your neck and she squealed with delight. 

“Y/N!!! PLEASE TELL ME YOU FINALLY GOT SOME DICK.” 

“Sorry to disappoint.” You responded, cringing and taking your shoes before going to sit with her on the couch. 

“But something happened! Tell me everything!!”    

So you did. Right down to his dick stabbing you through his pants and how he kicked you out of his office. Unlike Chanyeol, you knew she wouldn’t leave you alone until she knew everything, and in great detail, so you didn’t hold back. 

You felt all the emotions from the previous night rushed back to you as you got into the intricacies of the kiss itself. This was exactly what you knew would happen, and why you’d been avoiding it. The whole time Mia just stared and nodded, seemingly fascinated by your thrilling tale. You were thankful she hadn’t made fun of you at all for how flustered you were getting while talking about it. 

When you were finally done retelling everything, she didn’t speak. Instead she pulled you into a tight hug. 

“You like him a lot, I can tell. And he has a lot of respect for you if he had enough self control to make you leave before more could happen. I think he could be really great for you.” She pulled back to look at you, keeping both hands on your shoulders. “And I’ve never heard you talk about a guy like that before.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone the way I like him. He’s not some college boy, he’s a real man. It just feels different. Much more... real.” 

“Do you want something real with him? More than just a fling?” You nodded. “Do you think he’ll ask you out on a real date?” 

“I hope so.” 

“I hope so too. I’m sure he’ll come up with something amazing for you guys.” She smiled, lightly punching your shoulder in excitement. 

You felt elated to finally have gotten everything off your chest. Talking about it really hadn’t been that bad, if anything it only strengthened how you felt for him.

“I’m really lucky, aren’t I?” You asked, letting yourself fall backwards to lay across the couch. 

“Duh. You found a super cute, nice, and rich guy who thinks you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. Any girl would envy you.” Her eyes went wide, and you could practically see the lightbulb manifest itself and flicker on over her head. “He has hot friends right?” 

You laughed, amused by her usual boy craziness. “Yeah, he has some pretty cute friends but I don’t really know any of them, give me some time and I’ll report back to you if any of them are available.” 

For some reason, you didn’t tell her about your conversation with Chanyeol. Maybe it was what he’d said about Baekhyun’s ex that was still hanging in the back of your mind, but it didn’t seem like something you needed to bring up to her now anyways. 

“Well, please do let me know.” She responded, grinning, getting up from the couch and making her way into the kitchen. 

“Aye aye captain.” You shot a thumbs up at her from the couch, giggling. 

She ended up cooking dinner for the both of you, and you spent the rest of the evening collectively fantasizing about what sort of extravagant outing he’d take you on once he asked you on an official date. 

You couldn’t wait.  

Next Chapter

A/N: Just wanna say I love Jisoo and used her name purely to convey the characters appearance! She in no way represents the real Jisoo who is obviously a wonderful girl :)  also if the spacing is weird on mobile I blame the fact that I wrote this on my laptop 🥴 sorry

[13uswntimagines]

Emergency Contact (Emily Sonnett x Reader)

Request: sonnett x reader and sonnett is playing in the final for the Swedish league and the reader is at camp watching with the rest of the uswnt and like sonnett scores or something but gets hurt. 

Author’s Note: So this turned out super... Angsty. Special Thanks to @literaryhedgehog​ cause this was her idea. I hope you enjoy this. 

You glared at the television, your hands clasped in front of you as you watched the action on screen. This was an important game. No, you weren’t really into Swedish soccer, but you were very much into one Emily Sonnett, and this was important to her. Therefore this game was important to you. 

Medics weren’t always invited to the team’s watch parties, but they had made an exception for you. After all, you were Sonnett’s girlfriend, and basically an honorary member of the team. 

At some point, someone had joked that you were practically Sonnett’s replacement while she was away since the two of you shared a similar sense of humor. The person who had suggested it (Lindsey) had been forced into a week of ice baths as a punishment. Officially it was a recommendation to help with the inflammation in her hip. A physical therapist signed off on it and everything. But they all knew better than to make that joke again. 

“I’m honestly surprised you're drinking lemonade and not Budweiser,” Kelley laughed, nudging you with her shoulder. 

“Why it’s a Wednesday and we all have to be up at an ungodly hour for practice,” You asked, blinking at the woman, while still trying to keep half an eye on the screen. 

“Cause junior would be pounding beers back to celebrate you winning the Medical Olympics or whatever it is you M.D’s do for fun,” Lindsey snorted. You pouted, Doctors knew how to have fun too, it just usually came in the form of trivia nights instead of wild parties. 

“Some save water by drinking beer. I save water by not literally pouring it on my head when I get hot in practice,” you held up your glass of lemonade in a mock cheers, and turn back to see Emily’s team setting up for a corner kick, and a brunet marking Emily way closer than they normally would. 

“Anyway, while you three are trying to save the planet with your beverage choices, has anyone seen the new picture of Charlie?’ Rose asked, holding up her phone. Kelley grumbled something about not being the favorite aunt as Everyone crowded in close to Rose to see, cooing at the picture of the baby chewing on the horn of a stuffed dinosaur. 

It was only the cheering on screen that brought everyone’s attention back to the game. A proud smile broke across your face as Emily’s name and number flashed across the screen. Around you, the whole team was cheering Kelley and Lindsey jumped to their feet, whooping and cheering, throwing popcorn as they called encouragement to your girl.

But then you noticed something was very wrong. The whole room seemed to be moving in slow motion as you watched.  Instead of doing her signature post-goal celebration, Emily was lying flat on her back with her new team huddling around her. 

It was like time froze as she stood up, the sight of a very large amount of blood pouring from a cut on her forehead. She reached up to touch it, seemingly realizing just as you were, that she wasn’t alright. She blinked at the substance, before stumbling backward. Thankfully Koivista caught her before she could face plant into the ground. 

For a second you thought the team was still cheering, hadn’t yet seen that Sonnett was hurt. Then you realized what you were hearing was ringing in your ears, a ringing that seemed so quiet and so loud at the same time, like a giant empty canvas of sound. The only other discernible thing you could feel was the blood pounding through your frantically beating heart, as though it was beating for both you and the woman on the screen. 

You were a medic, so even now somewhere in the back of your head, you registered that you were showing signs of shock. You reasoned that it wasn’t the blood that threw you, but that it was your blond defender covered in it. So you sat down, somehow finding your way to the couch without taking your eyes off the screen. Off the love of your life. 

Had you told her that recently? The two of you talked all the time, yet you couldn’t remember if you ended the conversation with those words the last time you had called. Had you said goodbye, instead of see you later? Or I’m running late, talk to you soon? 

The thought of your last words to her not being I love you petrified you. You knew that she knew, but you didn’t just want her to know. You wanted her to feel it in every interaction you had. You couldn’t bear the thought of her dying and you not telling you how much you loved her first. 

Not that was going to die. She was going to be fine. She had to be fine. 

“I’ve got Emma on the phone Y/n, here” Something was shoved into your hands, as you watched the post-commercial replay of Emily being helped off-field. 

You cleared your throat, “hello.”

You were sure that your girlfriend’s twin said several things very quickly, but the only thing you could register was the first two words. “She’s okay”. 

You felt the knot in your chest loosen just slightly, and you blinked. Your fists (which at some point had begun to dig into your thighs) unclenched, and you felt like you could breathe again. 

“She’s ok?” You asked, your voice shaking. It was only then you realized tears were running down your cheeks. 

“Yeah, she’s alright. Took a nasty clear to the head after the collision, but Em’s tough,” Emma reassured. 

The rest of the conversation with Emma was put on speakerphone so the other USWNT girls could hear and tell you what had happened later. You couldn’t register anything else. Your mind was buzzing with choruses of “she’s okay” and thoughts of the future. 

“Wait. Why did they call you?” Kelley asked Emma

It was strange considering Emma was like 5 time zones separated from her sister. 

“I’m her emergency contact,” Emma’s voice was muffled. 

Did they have ring shops in the Netherlands? Were you even allowed to go there considering you were in a USWNT bubble until well after Thanksgiving? 

You would figure it out after you had a chance to talk to Emily. But one thing was for sure, you wanted to be the first call next time. If she got hurt again, you wanted to be her emergency contact. 

[littlemisspascal]

Death and an Angel part 12

Death!Din x Cupid F!Reader

Summary: It’s sort of funny though, to imagine Din being defeated by Gideon’s sword. 

It’s sort of funny, except...

Well. 

It isn’t really funny at all.

Rating: T

Word Count: 4,704 (good lord I’m tired...)

Warnings: angst, swearing, one brief moment of sexual harassment, lots of assumptions made, Dark Din returns and some familiar characters make themselves known

Author Note: Believe me I want Din and Cupid reunited as much as all of you do, but my dark side keeps saying just stretch it out a little bit longer 😈 All the love to each and every reader out there, the support you give me keeps me sane and happy each week ❤

Links to Part 1 and Part 11 and Part 13

Cross-posted on AO3.

Photo Inspiration:

You wipe furiously at your face, smearing tears across your cheeks, while inwardly cursing yourself for showing weakness in front of Gideon. A lump forms in your throat as you replay the last sixty seconds on loop in your head, imagining exactly how Din will react to each sentence, especially those last two words: let go. This will be the one and only time you’re thankful you can’t feel Din’s half of the bond. If he’s feeling even a smidge of the throbbing, torturous pain you’re feeling right now, experiencing both sides would have overwhelmed you. Of all the commands Gideon could have chosen, why would he choose to taunt Din with that one? It’s as if the Seraph is purposefully trying to piss Din off.

Maybe he is insane, you think, not for the first time, just as he starts to clap his hands together in applause.

“Well done,” Gideon says, almost in admiration. “You’re a much better actress than I imagined you’d be.”

“It wasn’t an act,” you snap back.

“Regardless, you’ve served your part well.” He reaches forward to pat your head, and you honestly deserve an award for not giving into the urge to break his hand. “If it would make you feel better, I could make you forget this moment ever happened. Should I require you to send a second message, it would certainly make it all the more bittersweet for you to think it was your first attempt.”

His words make no sense at first, and you merely sit there in the chair blinking back at him, some distant part of you aware of how your eyelashes are still wet and stuck together. Involuntarily, you find yourself recalling Din’s reaction to your memory loss, how he had muttered under his breath he thought someone was responsible for the blank spots. Your mouth falls open in shock as Gideon’s meaning clicks.

“You...You tampered with my memories?” you whisper.

“It wasn’t personal. There are holes in every Cupid’s head.”

Why would he use his powers so cruelly and invasively? How does he choose which memories to erase? These questions and more run through your head, but you don’t voice them aloud. Everything you’ve heard about and actually seen in person about Gideon has solidified your opinion he is a certifiable control freak. Of course he would use his memory-erasing ability to further establish his position of authority amongst the Cupids.

Your eyes drift to the Cupid twi’lek behind him. “Is that why she’s here? You brainwashed her into joining you?”

“I made my own choice,” she replies, tone as sharp as the knife she twirls with nimble fingers. It doesn’t gleam like metal, instead faintly sparkling just like your arrows do. Kyber crystal, you realize with a chill of uneasiness. “You don’t see me in a collar, do you?”

“Indeed, I cannot alter memories, only erase them. It was free will that brought Xi’an to me, not manipulation,” Gideon says with a smile, but his eyes glimmer in a way that makes your throat close up with fear. “She has become a loyal and valuable ally.”

Valuable. One word and your suspicions are confirmed. Collared or not, Xi’an is just as much a toy for Gideon to play with as you and Din are. The only difference is she doesn’t seem to realize she is one. Or, and this is a dangerous possibility, she does know and simply doesn’t give a damn.

“She’s your ally?” you echo, nervously licking your lips. “What does that mean?”

“She has dedicated herself to the achievement of my goal.”

You know he’s purposefully baiting you, but still you find yourself asking, “And that goal is?”

Gideon leans forward, invading your personal space even as you jerk backwards in your seat. The smile has been wiped from his face, replaced with narrowed eyes and a twisted scowl. He deliberately presses the unlit laser sword against the middle of your chest in the space between your breasts, thumb teasingly hovering over the activation button.  

When he answers, you’ve never heard anyone else speak as seriously as him.

“To finish what I started.”

The words linger in the air the same foreboding way Din’s reapers linger around hospitals. You don’t realize you’re not breathing until Gideon steps back after several pounding heartbeats pass and your lungs are on fire. You suck in a breath of relief, but your body remains tense, recognizing the dangerous situation you’re still stuck in.

“Mayfeld,” Gideon addresses the man armed with three guns who immediately straightens. “Take her back to her cell.”

You don’t resist as Mayfeld grabs you by the upper arm and tugs you out of your seat. It’d take a miracle to incapacitate him and everyone else in the room before they subdued you. No, you can’t make any rash decisions. The right moment will come, you tell yourself. It has to.

...Right?

“So, what’s it like being Death’s soulmate?”

You’re jerked out of your thoughts by Mayfeld’s voice. You side-eye him, keeping your mouth firmly shut.

“I mean, I’ve heard he never takes off the helmet,” he continues, unbothered by your silence. “But surely you must’ve seen what’s underneath there. If it were me, I’d definitely wanna know the face of the guy I’m allegedly destined to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Allegedly?” The question slips out before you can stop yourself.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m not so much a believer in fate or destiny or true love. And now that I know the guy who’s the boss of Cupid operations?” He huffs out a breath, shaking his head. “Forget about ever trying to convince me the universe has a mortal’s best interests in mind when it allows a Seraph as bat-shit crazy as the Moff to have the power he has.”

“If you think he’s insane, why do you work for him?”

“The pay’s good,” he answers with a laugh. “Plus, if he really does pull off this plan of his, well...let’s just say I’d rather be in his corner than anywhere else.”

“You do realize though that anyone in Gideon’s corner is an enemy of Death’s?” you say, half-taunting him half-genuinely curious about his reaction.

“That thought has recently crossed my mind,” is all he replies.

The conversation comes to a halt when you arrive back at your cell. Mayfeld pushes you inside, but the force is noticeably gentler than the thug who had manhandled you earlier. Standing near the pallet, you watch as he digs a remote out of the pocket of his pants and activates the laser grid with a single press of a button.

Interesting.

You expect Mayfeld to immediately return to Gideon’s side, so you’re surprised and more than a little confused when the man continues to linger. A minute of silence ticks by and your confusion changes to frustration. What does he want?

Just as your mouth opens to snidely voice the question, the baby chooses that precise moment to sneak back into your cell. Your heart leaps into your throat as you rush forward to grab him, torn between forcibly shoving him back into the hole or foolishly attempting to hide him behind your back.

“There’s the little green guy,” Mayfeld says, and you pause at the audible note of cheerfulness in his voice. The baby coos in your arms, waving his hand in the man’s direction.

They kriffing know each other?

Mayfeld notices your bewildered expression. “What? You think none of us noticed he doesn’t like staying put? We might be mercenaries, but we’re not complete idiots.”

“You’re a heartless bastard,” you spit, holding the baby tighter against your chest. “He’s a baby and you’re doing nothing to get him out of here.”

“First of all,” he counters, holding up a finger. “Ouch. And second,” he points that same finger directly at the baby, “that little guy is older than me so calling him a ‘baby’ isn’t exactly fair.”

Your eyes sweep over Mayfeld, estimating him to be at least forty. You then look at the green face smiling back at you. Yeah, there’s no way he’s telling the truth.

“You’re a liar.”

“Maker, the hits just keep on coming.” Mayfeld rolls his eyes. “Why would I lie about his age?”

“I…” you trail off, unable to come up with an excuse.

“Exactly.” He nods smugly. “Look, he fooled me, too, with those big brown eyes of his. If I hadn’t witnessed what he can do when that collar’s off, I might have been suckered into releasing him. He’s cute, sure, but he’s also secretly a menacing gremlin.”

You frown. “What do you mean you’ve seen what he can do?”

“I mean he’s got powers. He can lift things with his mind, throw men against walls five times his size like they weigh nothing. What’s worse is he uses those powers to steal. I had a pack of cookies I was saving and he levitated them right out of my pocket.”

Your disbelief falters at that last bit. You had already surmised the baby had stolen the cookies, but not like this. Looking down at him again, the collar stands out more prominently than ever before. Xi’an told you they were purposefully designed to prohibit the use of powers. Why else would the baby wear one if he didn’t possess some type of special ability?

“You really have some serious trust issues, don’t you?” Mayfeld says, almost sounding impressed by your stubborn reluctance to believe him.

“I’m currently being held hostage by a psychopath,” you retort. “I think I’m allowed to be suspicious of a mercenary who says everything that pops into his head.”

His lips purse. “Alright. That’s a good point.”

“Isn’t it risky?” you ask, stepping closer to the gate. “Sharing all this information with me?”

“Only if you don’t appreciate the value of it all.”

Your brow furrows, not understanding.

“Look,” he lowers his voice meaningfully. “One way or another, Gideon and Death are gonna face each other and only one side will win. Gideon wins, great. Status quo unchanged. But if your soulmate wins?” He grimaces at the prospect. “By talking to you, I’m trying to cover all my bases here.”

Your brain works rapidly to fill in the blanks. “So, let me get this straight. You think that by getting on my good side, Death won’t murder you?” A wide grin stretches across your face, not the least bit friendly. “Oh, honey, you’ve got to do so much better than that. With what you’ve given me so far, the only kindness he’ll spare you is ripping your throat out quickly so you don’t suffer long.”

Take the bait.

“Oh, yeah?” A flicker of nervousness flashes across his face. He shifts his stance, arms crossing over his chest. “What would I have to do to not have that happen? I’m, uh, open to suggestions.”

Good, good, good.

“You get me the keys to these collars, I can guarantee you’ll walk out of here with every limb attached and not one drop of blood spilt.”

A long beat passes wordlessly. It would be completely silent if not for the baby’s quiet whining as he cuddles against you, unsettled by the tense atmosphere.

“You’re not the only one with trust issues,” Mayfeld says at last. “Maybe you can guarantee Death won’t kill me, but how do I know you won’t kill me with your bow yourself?”

You say nothing, not because you’re guilty of thinking of that specific scenario, but because you don’t know how to convince him you haven’t considered it. Anyone else in your same predicament would undoubtedly shoot him the first chance they got. He is an enemy after all. A minor one, true, but nevertheless contributing to the effort of keeping you separated from Din. He also clearly only has his own self-interest in mind, making him unpredictable and untrustworthy. Who’s to say he won’t attempt to double-cross you somehow?

All these reasons are valid and should make you hate him, but something inside of you isn’t allowing you to commit wholeheartedly to the feeling. And as much as it pains you to admit it, you know that ‘something’ is fear. You’ve never killed anyone before. Shot someone with an ichor arrow? Yes, several times, but not once was the wound fatal. As your list of escape options continues to dwindle though, you’re terrified of the possibility you’ll have no choice but to personally be responsible for ending someone’s life.

“There’s my answer,” Mayfeld says. His words are distressingly ambiguous, but it’s the way he bobs his head in a decisive manner and turns his back on you that causes your stomach to tie itself into knots.

Throat suddenly dry, you struggle to choke out, “Wait, I—”

He starts whistling an upbeat tune as he walks away, ignoring your attempts at reclaiming his attention. You listen hopelessly as the sound gradually grows farther and farther away, until eventually all you can hear is silence.

And once more, it’s just you and the baby alone in the cell.

~~

You lie on the pallet, staring up at the ceiling with the baby sleeping on your stomach. You reflect on everything that has happened since you left Arvala-7, taking every moment apart piece by piece to figure out what you know.

From what you’ve witnessed, you don’t think your superiors are involved in or even aware of Moff Gideon’s plans. Lang, Hess, and Morgan were his associates, not allies like he’d called Xi’an. The difference is subtle, but profound in meaning. You wonder if the three of them have had memories erased too, if they know Gideon was responsible.

He had told them you were being hidden away to prevent other Cupids from knowing you had a second soulmate, but that wasn’t the whole truth. Gideon wants you as his hostage because you’re Din’s soulmate. He wants to use you as leverage to get Din to do what he wants. Initially, you assumed that meant kill those who Gideon considered enemies, but that assumption was proven incorrect when you sent the message to Din without naming even one potential target.

Unfortunately, you think that is not the only wrong assumption you’ve made recently. Gideon had forced you to tell Din to let go. The bond had cried out with agony when you’d said the words out loud as it had thought you were telling Din to let go of you. But looking back at the incident with a clearer head, you find yourself wondering why hadn’t Gideon included those two extra words if that was what he meant? It’s not like there wasn’t plenty of space left to write them on the paper.

If he didn’t mean for Din to let go of you, then logically that would mean he wants Din to let go of something else. Something important enough that Gideon is taking advantage of your relationship in order to convince him to release it.

But what could Din possibly possess that Gideon wants this badly? Din doesn’t own anything valuable except for the Crest and his armor, and you doubt either of those will further progress Gideon towards his goal.

To finish what I started.

Hours later and you still can’t figure out what the kriff he’s talking about. No matter which way you twist or turn the phrase over in your mind, it’s incomprehensible. What did he start? When did it happen? How does he intend to finish it?

Considering how your previous assumptions were both flawed, you really shouldn’t be making another one, but you can’t get the moment of when he’d pressed the sword against your chest out of your mind. The action itself screamed intimidation as well as sexual harassment, but when you think about how he did it at the same time he revealed his goal, your gut instinct is telling you to definitely assume the two are connected to each other.

And then there’s Mayfeld’s comment about there being an inevitable clash between Din and Gideon. He had sounded so certain there would only be one victor, but, unlike you, he hadn’t immediately placed his bet on Din. Which makes no sense to you. Everyone knows it’s an indisputable fact Din is the most powerful entity in the universe, second only to the Maker. The chance of Gideon winning their fight is so slim it’s infinitesimal.

It’s sort of funny though, to imagine Din being defeated by Gideon’s sword.

It’s sort of funny, except...

Well.

It isn’t really funny at all.

~~

Over the span of Din’s existence, he had witnessed entire civilizations wiped out by war, genocide, disease. No matter the reason behind the tragedy, the universe always called him there in the final moments to walk amongst the ruins left behind, to watch those last to die mourn those who passed before them. In those moments, he felt powerless, knowing there was not one thing he could do to change any of it.

He realized the universe was trying to instill a lesson in him: what is meant to happen, will always happen. Regardless of who is hurt in the process.

And maybe he would have surrendered to the harsh teaching if his angel hadn’t been stolen from her rightful place at his side. No one, not even the fucking universe itself, is going to stop him from getting her back.

From their first meeting, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Then when she asked him question after question about his likes and dislikes, his hobbies, his favorite sights in the galaxy—he made the risky decision of trusting her. He revealed his face to her, allowed her to know every part of himself, and was stunned every time she didn’t fear or run away from what she discovered. He didn’t know whether to consider her stupid or brave, but the moment he first heard her laugh at one of his sarcastic quips he knew it was a sound he wanted to hear everyday for the rest of eternity.

When she showed him her marked hand, claiming they were each other’s soulmates, he swore to himself he’d dedicate himself to her happiness. Anything she wanted or asked for, he would give to her without question.

Except now she has asked him to do the impossible: to let go.

He replays the transmission enough times every word, every quiet hitch of breath, and every subtle twitch of her facial features is embedded in his mind. Bo-Katan heaves a sigh after the eighth loop, squeezing the bridge of her nose as if a headache was forming, but he can’t bring himself to tear his gaze away from the hologram long enough to glare at the reaper. She doesn’t have a soulmate, therefore she can’t even begin to fathom how it feels when his half of the soulmate bond slams itself against the invisible wall separating him from his angel with all the unhinged ferocity of a feral beast.

If Din didn’t know his angel as intimately as she knew him, he might have believed those were her own words coming out of her mouth. However, throughout the entire length of the message he notices how her eyes nervously flick to the side every few seconds, as if she needs to reassure herself someone offscreen isn’t making any sudden movements. It’s all the confirmation he needs to know she’s being used as a mouthpiece against her will to demand Din gives up searching for her.

Din refuses to yield to the whims of an enemy who doesn’t have the balls to face him directly.

He channels his seething anger into steadfast determination as he stretches his powers out across the galaxy for a second time, this time searching for the twi’lek Hess so graciously identified for him. Her being the one to have dragged his soulmate out of Cupid headquarters couldn’t have been a random circumstance. If she has even the slightest notion of who the elusive immortal is that is responsible for shielding his angel from him, he’ll beat the name out of her just as he had her Cupid superior.

Bo-Katan, never one to stand still when she can be doing something useful, sends a message out to her fellow reapers to fill them in on the developing situation. Only Din can give them orders to follow, but she strongly recommends they interrogate any Cupid they come across for information about Xi’an.

Transmissions start flooding in an hour later of reapers reporting what they’ve learned. Turns out Xi’an is the type of person who finds joy in antagonizing others. No one claims her as their friend nor do they know what region of the galaxy she usually operates in. The most interesting tidbit learned from the interrogations is that several Cupids have admitted they often saw the twi’lek in the archives at headquarters, studying datapads and flipping through holobooks.

“She was searching for something,” Bo-Katan murmurs, brow creasing thoughtfully.

“Or she was gathering information on someone’s behalf.” Din’s eyes remained closed, focus split between the conversation and the search. “Only Cupids are allowed at their headquarters. She’d have no issue slipping in and out without anyone giving her a second—”

Every soul has a unique aura that can only be sensed by power-sensitive beings like himself. No two are the same, similar to fingerprints and snowflakes. Having a specific target in mind hastens the search of detecting them amongst the trillions of other beings inhabiting the galaxy, but it is not the fact that Din’s powers have just locked onto Xi’an’s soul that has his eyes snapping open. It is her location.

She’s on Umbriel.

“Stay with the ship,” he tells Bo-Katan.

Din teleports before the reaper responds, arriving at the front entrance of his soulmate’s apartment in the next blink. The front door is wide open and his jaw clenches as he recognizes the gesture for the taunt it is. Rolling his shoulders back, he enters the apartment, purposefully shutting and locking the door behind him.

“About time you showed up.” As soon as Din hears her voice, he’s reminded of a loth cat screeching when its tail is grabbed. The anger he’s been forcibly holding back starts to simmer beneath his armor, fingers twitching at his sides with the desire to wrap around her throat and squeeze.

He finds a purple-skinned twi’lek Cupid standing in the center of the living room. Or, what used to be considered the living room at least. Every piece of furniture has been broken and torn apart. The pile of newspapers kept in the corner are shredded and scattered across the floor. If he didn’t know how precious they were to his angel in her quest to reclaim her memories, he wouldn’t have cared about the mess, but he does know and his wrath increases exponentially.

“Xi’an,” he says, the name bitter on his tongue like a curse.

“The rumor mill says you’ve been looking for me,” she drawls, looking coy and fluttering her eyelashes. “I gotta say, I’m flattered by the attention.”

“Tell me where my soulmate is and you won’t meet the same fate as your boss.”

Her head tilts, tapping her fingers against her chin in mock thoughtfulness. “Are you referring to Hess? I heard no one’s been able to reach him lately, but since I report to someone of much higher ranking I could hardly bring myself to care.” Her lips curl into a wicked smirk, revealing the faintest glimpse of her fangs. “You’ve piqued my interest now though, what’d you do to the bastard?”

“I ripped out his soul and crushed it into dust.”

She giggles, unpleasant and shrill. “How scandalous.”

His patience snaps.

“Enough of this.” He steps forward. “Tell me who you work for and where is my soulmate.”

A pair of knives appear in her hands, summoned in the same quick manner as his angel had drawn her bow.

“My answer to the first part is no. And as for the second, you need to be more specific.” She sneers. “Which part of her are you looking for?”

The noise that tears itself out of Din’s throat is one never made by another entity before. It is an outburst of ravenous fury, a promise of bloodshed and carnage, and a predator’s roar before they consume their prey all blended into one deafening war cry.

Xi’an maintains a brave face as she throws knife after knife at him, but as each one harmlessly deflects off his beskar and dissolves into a flicker of light, he sees her mask begin to crack, revealing her nervousness.

She resorts to throwing punches when he’s close enough, but there is no finesse and each one is sloppy. He catches her fist mid-swing with his own hand and twists, shattering her wrist. She gasps out a curse, but the unexpected reappearance of her mischievous smirk manages to catch him off guard.

“Are you gonna do it?” she asks, voice tight with pain, but the intent to provoke him is clear. “Unleash that beautiful darkness I can sense writhing around inside of you?”

He pins her against the wall harsh enough her teeth audibly clack against each other. Still she keeps smirking, still her voice drips like poison into his ears.

“You know you want to, sweetie, so just let go.”

Din’s powers lash out, incensed by those two words he’s sick of hearing. Latching onto her soul, she starts to choke, but the deranged glimmer of glee in her eyes makes him think she’d be laughing if she could.

Darkness starts to ooze out of his armor, resembling thick, black smoke. He can feel the sinister energy emanating from the very core of his being, as if the box it’s been trapped in has been unlocked and is seconds away from bursting open.

Some distant, far part of him is ringing every warning alarm and urging him to stop. But he ignores that voice of reason when he sees Xi’an’s soul start creeping up the back of her mouth, glowing brightly as it squirms in a futile attempt to free itself from the hold of his powers.

He grits his teeth, impatience prompting him to tug at it again, and—

The world lurches and transforms in a blur. When his vision adjusts, he’s no longer standing in his soulmate’s apartment, but instead surrounded by an abundance of scorched trees. Chest heaving, he struggles to clear his head of violent thoughts and make sense of what just happened.

Someone suddenly calls out from behind him, “I summoned you here to speak with you.”

Din recognizes the speaker’s voice before he actually turns to see the female togruta. She wears her usual blue-and-silver tunic and a brown headpiece embedded with a gem over her montrals. The ground is green beneath her feet, the only glimpse of flourishing nature for miles.

“I was in the middle of something, Ahsoka,” Din answers, stalking forward until they stand nearly toe to toe. He’s lost count of how many encounters they’ve had with one another over the years, but no matter the number he remains reluctant to consider her a friend since the Oracle has the irritating knack for disrupting his life when he least desires her presence.

She stands tall, but her hands move to rest on the hilts of the two sabers attached to her belt. “Have you forgotten your creed? When the universe needs you, you listen to it.”

“My soulmate needs me!” he shouts, trembling as another pulse of dark energy discharges from his body. It washes over Ahsoka like a harsh gust of wind, but while she remains unaffected, the patch of grass withers instantaneously.

“The universe recognizes that,” Ahsoka says, and while her calmness does nothing to ease his frayed nerves, her next words have him freezing in place. “And I’ll take you to her so long as you promise me one thing.”

Tentative hope slices through the erratic storm of frenzied emotions in his chest like a beam of sunlight. He searches Ahsoka’s face for the faintest hint of deception, but finds only sincerity.

“What is it?”

“You cannot kill Moff Gideon.”

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[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There:  5.1

Author’s Note:  How’s everyone liking the story so far?  Kinda getting into my head about how stiff the writing is.  Maybe it just feels stiff to me, idk.  Anyways, here’s an early chapter!

"So, why are your eyes different colors?"  Childe caught you alone while you gathered firewood a few yards away from the camp.  The sun had long set, leaving you to rely on a lantern and the dim light of the distant fire.  He was limping from your sparring session earlier.

You had beat him.

And man, did it feel good.

"We crossed paths with a merchant that was traveling from Fontaine.  He said they're 'contacts.'  Basically little objects a person can put across their pupils and change their color," you repeated the rehearsed words a little too perfectly for Childe to believe.

"Oh?  I've never heard of that invention before," he tested.

"I guess it's new?  Like the kamera devices they recently developed? Aether has one of those."  You watched as he kept his hands idle at his sides.

"Interesting.  And Aether was the one who told you to say this to me?"  He blocked your path to the fire by placing a hand against the tree that stood behind you.  What a terrible liar you make, ojou-chan.  His friendly smile never left his lips, but it never reached his eyes.  They were cold and demeaning as they examined yours.

"I-I," you stumbled over your words.  "Why are you acting so weird, Childe?" You tried to laugh him off and attempted to duck under his arm.  What to say, what to say! Oh, maybe this'll work?  "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're acting like a schoolboy crushing on one of his friends."

It might have been a wrong move.

He pinned your shoulders to the tree and made sure no one had their eyes on the two of you.  "On the contrary, you began acting strangely the minute I found you today."  Something in his gaze faltered as he replayed your words in his head. Perhaps I am acting like a schoolboy. But I can't help it if I'm infatuated with my target.  His eyes fell to the shimmering necklace resting against your collarbone, and he gently touched it.  "This is new."

"Don't touch that," you slapped his hand away.

"I don't recall you wearing such a genuine cor lapis charm before.  Where'd you get this from?"

"It was my Granny's."

Childe scrunched his nose at the answer, a brief look of internal conflict passing over his face like a cloud.  'Was?' The woman passed? I made sure she wouldn't get hurt by my men.  So then how did she--  He wanted to ask until the realization struck him.  They went to Quince Village after my leaving.  She saw the Fatui there--

You were too enraged to notice him visually fight himself and approached the campsite with an armful of branches.  You made a point to sit next to Xiao and glared at the Harbinger as he returned.

He maintained eye contact with you, even after sitting across the fire from you and the yaksha.  Your pupils seemed to glow from his perspective.  The fire licked the air in between you until all he could make out was the anger in your eyes.  She knows.  He mentally kicked himself, but only partially because of the possible complications this could pose for Signora and her grand plan.  If you were this angry, there was a chance you had told the yaksha.  And if the yaksha saw the Fatui, or at least heard of what you thought happened, then there's a chance he told Mr. Zhongli.  While he could not break the contract with the Tsaritsa, he'd find a way around the stated rules.  He made a fool of Childe once; he could do it again.

Childe didn't care in the slightest about fighting the entire group--though he was a bit afraid of facing the yaksha despite his urge to fight every living thing on Teyvat.  The only thing that mattered to him was you.  And if you were angry enough to fight, vision or not, he'd have to take you by force.  You may hold a special place in his heart, but his feelings for you meant nothing compared to his loyalty for the Tsaritsa.

One chance, the harbinger strengthened his resolve. I'll give her one chance to prove herself.  If she fails, I won't hesitate to take that which will secure Snezhnaya's future.

...................................................................

Several days passed by without incident--

--Is what I'd like to say, but unfortunately, that didn't hold true for you.

Childe and his unrelenting pleas for battles continued to reach your ears day in and day out.  He was the one that was attached to your hip, not Xiao.  You had only realized today that Childe was around you more often than the yaksha ever since he greeted you with a jumpscare at Luhua Pool.  To make matters worse, Xiao neglected to make a move towards him.

She can handle herself, he thought after witnessing the stunts you pulled on Childe.  Xiao recognized that the movements you were using as his own; perhaps there was an upside to you unconsciously peeking in on his memories.  He put himself on standby when he came to the realization.  But make no mistake, he would and will protect you if things got out of hand with the harbinger.  He just figured he'd take a step back and quietly observe his weak points, just like the old days.  The days in which Childe did not pose a serious threat to the group; when all that was between you and the harbinger was harmless bickering.

It would seem like those old days were still fresh to an outsider, but as the days passed by, you were growing increasingly frustrated with Childe's behavior.  After all, how could he continue to play the part of an oblivious comrade, when it was clear as day that the tensions within the group were growing?  How could he even call you a comrade with a straight face? How was it that he felt no remorse for his actions toward Granny when he looked you in the eye?

How was it that he could be so carefree?

Maybe part of you envied him for it.  Your inner grumblings did you no favor in the present moment though; the team had stepped into the western side of Dragonspine.  Your four coats made almost no difference against the sheer cold, and your body shivered uncontrollably even though warmer weather was only a hundred yards behind you.

Everyone except Xiao and Aether wore warm clothes, and it looked like the poor outlander regretted his decision to forego the garments.  Xiao appeared to be unbothered and more energetic than usual.  Childe looked like he was right at home with the weather, his shirt still sloppily unbuttoned to reveal his toned body underneath.  Bennet walked alongside you and was replacing Zhongli for the time being.

Snowflakes lazily floated their way down to earth, but they did nothing to grab your attention when the wind continued to howl against the team's direction.  You caught Xiao letting snow collect in his hand with an almost childlike wonder, but he glared at you when he found you staring.

"I want to find some dragon teeth for a sword and since you haven't been here before I thought it'd be a good idea to show you around," Aether called out to you over his shoulder, his arms crossing over his bare stomach for an ounce of warmth.

"You're insane!"

Aether's laugh mixed with the clattering of his teeth.  "You only live once, right?"  You removed two of your coats and threw them over his head.  "T-t-thanks."

You rolled your eyes despite the fact that you were smiling at him, only for your gaze to lock with Xiao's look of disapproval.  'Mortals are fragile,' you interpreted his frown and giggled.  

"Here we go!" Bennet lit the firepit with his flaming sword and knelt down in front of it.  Everyone joined him;  Aether was especially close to the flames.

"It's kind of annoying to find fire every five minutes," you shivered violently.  "And you practically go up here for fun?"  

"It gets easier the more we do it," Paimon giggled with a nervous smile.  "Besides, we get to mine starsilver and find cool dragon stuff that we can sell--"

"Don't lump me in with you," Aether piped up without moving away from the fire.

The distant sound of a conversation was carried over by a bone-chilling breeze.  "Huh?  Should we go check it out?"  Paimon stared in the direction the vague voices were coming from.

"U-uh-huh," nodded Aether.

The group stumbled over a hill only to find the body cavity of Durin.  While it threw you off, the sight around the remains was what chilled you to the bone.  Of course there's Fatui here, you scoffed.

"I see a tooth over there too,"  Aether whined.

"What's everyone looking at me for?"  Childe let out a nervous chuckle and awkwardly scratched the back of his head.  "These aren't my guys."

"We know," Paimon cooed.

"That's why we want you to go talk to them and let us pass," Aether held the smuggest expression you've ever seen him pull off.

"Uh...I'm not under any jurisdiction to--"

"Do it," you ordered with cold eyes.  When he locked eyes with you, you stood on your tip-toes and spoke in his ear.  "Prove your loyalty to the group."

"My loyalty, ojou-chan," his eyes narrowed significantly, "lies with Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa."

"Uh-oh," Paimon poofed out of existence.

"Uh, guys?  Those Fatui agents are approaching us reeeaal fast," Bennett warned.  

The two of you broke eye contact to find that he was right.  One electro and two geo skirmishers were walking towards the group.  Poofing would be a more accurate description.  Childe gave you a final look before he hopped over a log to greet them.

"Greetings!"  He didn't smile, and the skirmishers stopped in their tracks.

"Master Childe?  We didn't realize you'd be joining us on the mountain."  The three of them knelt out of respect.

"It's a surprise visit, really.  I came to check on your progress--"  The group made their way around the Fatui and Aether yanked the large tooth out of the ground while Childe chattered away with his subordinates.

[illyaana]

Squiggles - Oikawa Tooru

Thanks to @pocky-writes for this collab! It was so fun to do~ Check out all the other writers involved in the collab here ヾ(•ω•`)o

Tags: Oikawa's POV, Angst, Minor Fluff, Cursing, Kissing, SFW, Manga Spoiler (Oikawa and Iwaizumi's future jobs)

Synopsis: You entered Oikawa's life - and it hasn't been the same ever since. (If I give anymore, it'll be spoilers TwT) (I also named Oikawa's sis Miho-)

Word Count: 4334

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Liked my writing? Do you want a drabble specifically made for you about your love life with a character of your choosing? Check out my 50 followers event over here!

All stories are basically a squiggly line - it has ups and downs with multiple loops in random spots. Some parts might be thicker or shorter than others, but all points of the story make up a giant, huge squiggly line that either brings you joy or sadness. I wanted my story to be as thick and long as possible - to outshine all the other squiggles the world has to offer. It was going to be the best squiggle ever until you came along and made it loopier and uneven.

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I remember the first day you came into our class so vividly.

I had rushed to the school to copy Iwa-chan’s homework. The Kitagawa Daiichi blazer I wore was soaked in sweat thanks to me running a few blocks in several minutes. Of course, Iwa was in the classroom, waiting for school to start. He had rolled up his sleeves and was reading the literature component assigned to us - the very book I never touched ever since volleyball practices began.

“You are of a different breed, Oikawa,” Iwa-chan mumbled as he passed his book to me, “This is the last time you’re doing this.”

No, it isn’t.

“Yes, sir.”

I pulled out my book and began to move at top speed, hoping I would finish before class began.

That’s when you opened the door, breaking my concentration.

You were glowing. The school blazer seemed so big on you - as if someone with a bigger physique gave it to you - but you look so precious in it. You had a jump in your step, a wide smile plastered on your face. Your hair looked so soft even from a mile away. You seemed so at peace with everything - even when you entered a new school.

You carried yourself with such confidence it scared me.

I loved being the confident one, the hot one, the cheerful one - yet you stole those roles from me the second you walked into the school campus.

I didn’t know what I felt; was it inferiority or was it just pure admiration? Maybe a combination of both?

All of this… It was so new to me.

I was always surrounded by those who were eager for my approval - to be part of my posse and be connected to me in some way, but I just wanted to be around you. It was the first time I ever took an interest in anyone excluding my volleyball team.

It’s weird, isn’t it? The feeling of warmth rushing through your skin, but your throat just feels tight - it doesn’t want you to say anything you would regret, so it tries to hold you back. Your palms sweat and become clammy, goosebumps rise on your skin - it is so freeing yet restricting.

I wanted to come and welcome you to the school - maybe take you around the school grounds, show off a bit at the gym, find out who you are as a person - if I got lucky, even get your phone number.

“ ‘kawa, are they new? I feel like I’ve never seen them before…” Iwaizumi asked, pulling on my rolled-up sleeve.

Of course, this had to happen, didn’t it?

Iwaizumi tried to cover his red face with his arms, but he was failing miserably. His forehead began to sweat, a trail of water dripping down his chin. His chocolate eyes glowed just like your skin - so much so you could see the hazel flecks within them. His whole arm was covered in raised goosebumps, just like mine.

He was attracted to you.

“I think they are,” I replied, hiding my feelings with a smile, “Why Iwa-chan? Oh my god Iwa, you’re blushing!”

Iwaizumi threw a book to my face, earning a groan from me.

“Shut up, Shittykawa,” he says, blushing in a deeper red, “...but yeah, I think I do.”

“Well, if you want them to swoon for you just like how almost all the girls of the school do for me, I can help you. Just with the daily fee of milk bread during recess, I can turn your single ass into a full-fledged bachelor!” I say, trying to lighten up the mood.

“I'll buy you milk bread for lunch, either way,” he mumbled.

“See? It’s basically free, isn’t it? The best part of it all; it comes with a free gift! A box of milk every day so that you can grow taller-” Book number two found its place on my forehead once again.

“You’re such an idiot,” he says midst chuckling, “Thanks for the offer, Tooru. I think I’ll do this by myself, though.”

“Ok, then! Just so you know, the offer is always on the table,” I smirk, teasing the shorter male even more, “Don’t forget the milk.”

“I am never buying you anything ever again.”

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Classes went on as usual, but I couldn’t focus at all.

I kept on staring at you from my seat - enjoying every single thing you did. I saw how you’d raise your shoulders in frustration when you couldn’t understand a question, how you’d bite the end of your pencil when you were focusing on the class, how you’d play with your fingers when you were stressed - I was taking mental notes without even realizing it. I loved all the small little huffs you’d make when you’re agitated. Judging by how you were speeding through most of the questions, you seemed to be a smart student.

I kept on playing small scenarios that I would do to get your attention.

Maybe I’d ask you a question and act like I couldn’t understand the whole topic so that you could tutor me, or I should just ask you about your opinions on the essay topic we discussed in class, or I could tease you about that small thing you did in front of the classroom when the teacher wasn’t looking.

But I would never do that to Iwaizumi.

My mind replayed that small scene of him blushing just at the mere glance of you. If he could, he would’ve already gushed about you to me - tell me all the things I already knew just by looking at you. He’d go on and on about how you squinched your nose when you drank that hot drink a bit too early and burnt your tongue.

His squiggle was already slowly moving around you, making a loop fitted for you and you alone - and I will happily watch from the sidelines when you two finally become a thing.

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“Welcome back, Tooru!” My sister said from the kitchen, “Give me a minute, I’m helping mom prepare lunch.”

I placed my bag in front of my room and headed to the kitchen.

“Don’t make poison, please!” I tease her, enjoying the annoyed expression on her face.

“Tooru!” Mom sighed, “We’re inviting our new neighbors for dinner today. Go shower and get ready.”

I stuck my tongue out at my sister, earning an anger-filled hum from my mother. I ran to my room and soon headed to the shower to get ready.

Slinging the white towel on my shoulder, I head back to the kitchen area and set the table for the meal.

“Where are they from again?” Miho asked Mom.

“They’re apparently from Tokyo. The father passed away recently, so the mother had to bring the rest of the family to Miyagi to reduce the financial burden. Sad, isn’t it?” she replied.

“We should help them here and there,” Miho started, “We don’t need to give them money, but maybe help them get used to the city?”

I nodded, but I wasn’t present in the conversation ever since Mom mentioned Tokyo.

“Do they have a kid my age?” I ask, hoping that I’m wrong.

“I think there’s one that just transferred to your school?”

Please, don’t be who I think it is.

The doorbell rang, shaking me out of my thoughts.

I slowly headed to the door, gripping the doorknob tightly as I slowly opened the door.

I was right.

“Hello, Oikawa-san! It’s me, Y/N, from your class,” you said, a smile on your face.

“I just wanted to thank you and your family for your generous offer, but we can’t join you for dinner today,” you started, “Mom has to go get some things settled before she can come for dinner. Sorry, again…”

“What about you? Have you eaten anything yet?” My mom asked as she walked towards the door, “If you want, you can eat dinner here and bring some back for your mom.”

“Really?!” Your lips widened, “Thank you so much, aunty!”

You sat right beside me, just like Iwa-chan does when he comes over. I loved seeing you talk so comfortably with my family. I could see my mom’s adoration towards you when you talked about your life back in Tokyo. Your eyes lit up when you talked about your family - even if you were talking about your father.

You didn’t know it yet, but your presence makes my squiggle a little lighter.

“What school are you going to, Y/N?” Mom asked.

“I’m going to Kitagawa Daiichi like Oikawa-san. I am in his class, actually... “ you trail off.

“Do you want me to walk you to school? I don’t mind doing it, but Iwaizumi would be joining us too. Are you okay with that?” I ask, gripping the ends of my shirt.

For the first time in my life, I hated the fact I had to be beside Iwaizumi.

“Thanks, Oikawa-san. It means a lot,” you smiled.

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.

I regret asking you that question.

I had to see Iwaizumi try to flirt with you.

I had to see how you’d occasionally lean your head on my shoulder when we walked to school until Iwaizumi met up with us in the middle of our walk to school.

I had to see Iwaizumi carry your bag - something I wanted to do.

I had to see Iwaizumi make small jokes to you - something I wanted to do.

I had to see you enjoy Iwaizumi’s presence - something I wanted you to only feel for me.

I had to let it happen in front of me, didn’t I?

Books and movies never compare to the real thing; to see the person you love gush over someone you love like a sibling.

But you were closest to me, not Iwa-chan.

You came to me when you had problems, not Iwa-chan.

You stayed over at my place to relax, not Iwa-chan’s.

You watched movies with me, played games with me, told secrets to me - not Iwa-chan.

Your squiggle intertwined with mine more than Iwa-chan’s.

“Tooru,” you said as you played with the rogue strands of my hair as your head laid on my lap, “Do you want to go out on a trip?”

“What? Why?”

“We’re graduating, but we never had a trip together. It’s weird, isn’t it?” You say, slowly getting up.

I pushed your head back on my lap, earning a muffled squeal from you.

“It isn’t, to be honest,” I say, “...but I do like the idea.”

“So, we’re doing it?” you say as you wiggle your feet in excitement.

“Yeap. I’ll ask Iwa-chan if he wants to join,” I say as I grab my phone.

“I was kind of hoping that it would be just the two of us? I haven’t been able to talk to you without anyone intervening for a long time, and there’s a lot I wanna talk about.”

You looked at me, hoping for some reaction, but I couldn’t say anything.

If I was not friends with Iwaizumi, I would’ve said yes almost immediately.

I know I love you - ever since I saw you, I have.

But Iwaizumi deserves someone amazing like you.

I don’t.

“Tell me, then! I don’t think Mom’s coming home anytime soon and Miho is working right now, so there isn’t anyone who’d disturb us now,” I say through gritted teeth.

I felt your disappointment when you sighed and moved to lie down on my bed.

“I guess I’ll tell you another day.”

I felt your squiggle moving away from me - moving on without mine.

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Soon, our one-week trip to Tokyo began.

Thanks to months and months of pestering, our parents let us go by ourselves to the city you grew up in.

I could see everything in your eyes, thanks to your stories about this place. The small, quaint shops, the smell of freshly made Taiyaki at the side of the road, the small kids running on the pavement while being chased by angry parents - all of it.

“Oikawa!” you patted my shoulder, “That’s the bakery I talked about last time. You know, the one with amazing cheese tarts? Oh, that’s where my dad gave me my first cup of coffee!”

Iwaizumi chuckled as he focused on the road, admiring your love for the city.

“Why are you laughing, pine cone hair?” You tease Iwaizumi, trying to get more reactions from him.

“Nothing! You sound cute, that’s all,” he said as he focused on the road.

“Oh, really~?” You move closer to Iwaizumi and whisper something in his ear, making him blush instantly.

There it is.

That icky feeling I hate.

Why did it come now? I was with Y/N and Iwaizumi - the people I care about the most.

Go away.

Get out.

I don’t need you.

“Well, I’ll just chaperone Oikawa then, Hajime. Have fun all by yourself in a huge city you don’t know well,” you say, teasing him even more.

Hajime.

They said Hajime - not Iwaizumi.

“Geez, get a room, you two.”

“Sad I’m taking your husband away, Tooru?”

“The fuck, Y/N!” Both Iwa-chan and I scream.

You laugh as you lean back into the backseat.

“What? You both are an old couple,” you begin, “Oikawa is the flamboyant one and Iwaizumi is the man that’s only gay for Oikawa and actually thinks before doing something.”

“Did everyone think I’m gay for Oikawa?” Iwa says under his breath.

“Yeap,” you reply, “Many girls were sad, to be honest. I kept on telling them you’re straight, but they didn’t listen,” you shrug.

“And me?” I ask.

“You were labelled as the hot pansexual, lucky you,” you reply with an eye roll.

“Why did no one tell me…” Iwaizumi said to himself, worried.

“Honey~,” I began teasing the ‘pinecone’.

“Shut the fuck up, Shittykawa.”

“ ‘Shut the fuck up, Shittykawa’ - why don’t you give an actual nice nickname for the brunette over here,” you ask him, playing with the stressed driver.

“No.”

“Do it or I’m calling you pinecone for the rest of your life.”

“No.”

“Do it or I’ll tell them-” I say before getting cut off by Iwaizumi himself.

“Prettykawa.”

“Holy shit, Y/N,” I wiped my fake tears, “He called me pretty! Darling~”

“Oh my god, Oikawa,” you say, laughing as I hug Iwaizumi’s arm.

Our squiggles were intertwined and in a good way - that’s all that mattered.

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“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi looked at me with a serious face, “I think I am going to confess to them tonight.”

Wait, you are?

Please don’t.

Don’t take them away from me.

I need them.

Iwaizumi, please don’t.

“Finally! It’s about time you made your move - I think they like you too, so you have a shot.”

It’s true - I see how they stare at you.

Their eyes are filled with admiration, lips fixed in a soft smile, their hands grazing your cheek - they love you as much as you love them, Iwaizumi.

“Thanks for supporting me, Tooru. It really means a lot to me,” he says as he hugged me, “Thanks for being my best friend.”

I haven’t been a good friend, Iwa.

I fell for the same person.

I want to steal them from you so badly, but I can’t bring myself to hate you.

I want to hate you so bad, but I can’t.

This feeling… I hate it.

“Thanks for being mine, too.” I smiled, but the smile never reached my eyes.

You’re taking them away from me, Iwaizumi.

You could’ve gotten anyone else, but you took them away from me.

I don’t want to feel this - this hatred growing within, yet here I am, cursing you in my head the minute I see you.

“Go! Why are you wasting time?” I say, pushing you towards the door.

I saw the smile you gave me as you ran to her room.

You are such an amazing person, Iwa-chan.

You can care for someone who deeply hates you.

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I saw how they were basically draped around you for the next few days. They looked so happy just to be beside you.

Each day, their eyes spoke stories of love for you, Iwa. They used to come over to my place and gush about you every day, like a ritual.

You’re so fucking lucky, Iwaizumi. This isn’t fair.

They’d go on and on about your physique, your personality and the small things you’d do.

Congratulations, they finally paid attention to the things you did for them. I’m happy for you, Iwa.

I am happy for the two of you, truly.

They are truly happy.

I could’ve never done that - never.

I just wish I wasn’t walking towards the gym that day.

I saw your first kiss under that tree - the tree the three of us used to spend under while waiting for practice to start.

I saw how their hands gripped on the back of your head, pressing themselves on you. I saw how you gripped their hips oh so tightly as you showed them your passion towards them. I saw how breathless they looked the minute your lips left theirs. I saw how they grazed your chin whilst staring into your eyes in admiration.

I pictured how it would’ve been if I was in your position.

I would’ve held them tighter, pressed my forehead against theirs so that our noses would brush against each other. They’d play with the ends of my hair, going on and on about how soft each lock was like they usually do. They’d eye my lips as I stared at their soft and supple lips. I’d press the tip of my thumb on their bottom lip, enjoying the view of their parted lips made just for me and me alone. Slowly, I would kiss their cheeks, hoping for some cute reaction from them. From their cheeks, I would drag my lips to their chin, placing soft kisses here and there.

I would then press my lips against theirs, enjoying the soft noises escaping their lips.

But I never will - you’re theirs as they’re yours.

Of all places, why did you have to choose there?

I can’t come back here without thinking about that kiss now.

That icky feeling…

It’s back.

Go away.

Get out of me.

I am happy.

“Damn, Iwaizumi,” Matsun said as he approached the gym, “Y/N’s really in love with them, huh?”

“Shut it, Matsun,” Maki said, looking at me.

Of course, he’d notice.

I am in love with his friend's girlfriend, after all.

“What? He’s telling the truth; they’re so in love with each other they can’t even see that three people saw their first kiss!” I shouted, earning a growl from the black-haired male hugging Y/N.

“Out of all the times, Shittykawa…”

“You better run, he looks feral!” You shouted, laughing.

“You sure he wasn’t feral ever since he initiated that kiss? I saw that hand wandering, Iwaizumi~!” Matsukawa shouted as he ran to the gym.

“Iwaizumi isn’t innocent anymore. You aren’t part of the gang anymore man, stay back,” Hanamaki said, wiping a fake tear whilst gripping his sides, “You’ve grown up too quick, Iwa-senpai.”

“You okay, ‘kawa?” Maki said as he turned to me, rubbing my back.

“I am fine, Maki. Go ahead - go to the gym, I’ll come in a minute,” I gave him a nod as I walked to the toilet.

That day was the first day I cried over someone in school, and hopefully the last.

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“Tooru… Tohru…” You mumbled.

“Yes, my name is similar to the main character’s. What about it?” I sigh.

“We should get you a cat. Who knows, you might kiss it and it’ll become a girl?” Iwa chirped.

“That’s a cat version of Princess and the Frog,” I say, annoyed.

“Stupid,” you hit Iwa’s thigh, “Get with the program.”

Iwa groaned as he rubbed his leg, “That was really painful, dumbass.”

“Tohru, he called me dumbass,” you whined.

“I am not Tohru - it’s Tooru.”

“Brown hair, all of the people around them falling in love with them, high pitched voice… that’s you,” Iwa joked.

“Major flaw in your theory - I am not a girl.”

“Alternate universe Tohru then,” you said, enjoying the banter.

“Tohru plays with animals, I play with a volleyball team.”

“How do you know she isn’t in a volleyball team? It was never specified she isn’t part of a volleyball team.”

“It’s never specified that she is part of a volleyball team,” I say, clearly annoyed by this conversation.

“I’m getting you a cat - a ginger one,” Iwa said, grabbing his phone from the side table.

“Don’t get me a cat!”

“Get him a cat, love. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’ll love it,” you said, leaning against Iwaizumi’s chest to see his phone screen.

“Holy shit,” you said, holding back a laugh, “He’s actually looking-”

“Iwaizumi Hajime!” I scream, making both Iwaizumi and you laugh loudly.

“I was looking at a cat meme, stupid.”

I sign out of frustration and look back at the TV screen, avoiding the mischievous couple.

I eyed the way they were sitting on the couch.

You were seated in between Iwaizumi’s legs, their back pressed against his front. Their hands played with Iwaizumi’s left hand, fiddling with his fingers as they stared at the screen in front of them. Iwaizumi wasn’t looking at the screen though - he was staring at his lover who was fully immersed in the scene unfolding in front of them. His right hand grazed their right hand, enjoying the feeling of them comfortable in his arms.

You looked happy, and that’s all that mattered.

The last episode soon finished and you looked to the ceiling, stretching your neck.

“So sad it’s over,” you said, smiling.

“At least it had a good ending. I don’t think I need to remind you how heartbroken you were when we watching Banana Fish’s-”

“Don’t remind me - I’ll cry here and now.”

You got off the couch and walked towards the kitchen to get a drink.

“So,” you plopped on the couch, leaning against Iwa, “What’s the final plan, Mr Tohru?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your life after high school, of course! What’s the plan? I know Hajime is planning to be a trainer, but you never told me what your plan is.”

Hajime.

Hajime.

Hajime.

Again with the Hajime.

Just use Iwaizumi, for fuck’s sake.

“...Tooru?”

I snap out of my thoughts. “Oh.”

“You’ve been out of it recently. You’re okay, right?” You say as you walk to sit beside me.

I chuckle, looking at your concerned face.

“I’m good - just stressed about life, that’s all. I am not so sure as to what’s the next step, but it’s going pro.”

You hug me from the side, placing your head on my shoulder.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you, now? Aren’t you scared that you might make Hajime jealous?” I tease.

“I don’t know - I just feel I need to do this, like a feeling that you might do something rash.”

I felt tears wet the side of my shirt.

My eyes darted to the sight of you, sobbing, gripping on my shirt.

“Don’t you dare forget me, okay?” You say through sniffles, “I sure as hell won’t forget you.”

I cup your face in my hands, wiping off the trailing tears.

“I won’t.”

You made a huge loop on my squiggle, Y/N - I don’t I can ever forget you.

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TO: Y/N (2:30 a.m.)

It’s been so many years, Y/N.

You’ve blossomed into the amazing person I knew you’d be.

I saw Iwa-chan recently - after all, he’s training the Japan team.

I actually made it into a team - the Argentinian Volleyball team.

I kept on doubting myself, but you kept on reminding me of how good of a setter I was back in high school.

I know you’re busy being the big person in your industry - congrats on all the awards again, I keep forgetting to contact you.

If you’re down, maybe we can call? I miss your voice.

I sent the message, hoping you’d reply as fast as you used to when we were in high school.

I looked from the hotel window, trying to imagine how the scenery is back home in Miyagi.

The roaring fields, the birds flying in the sky as we walked down that small pathway, that traffic light you’d draw on while waiting for the cars to pass - I remembered it all.

I remembered it all just because you were part of it.

Funny, isn’t it? After so many years, I still think of you.

Not as my friend’s lover, but mine.

I shouldn’t have invited Iwaizumi to that trip.

I should’ve just kept you all to myself - protect you from the world.

I should’ve just kept Iwaizumi out of your life - not let him in at any point.

I should’ve just told him how I feel about you.

I tried so hard to get over you, Y/N.

I met so many other people, hoping they could fill up the hole you left when you left me for him. I had so many sour relationships just because I was comparing them to the rhetorical you that I dated. If the world had given me a second chance, I would be standing beside you - I would work to provide for you the best the world had to offer.

But in the end, your squiggle was meant to grow without mine. I had to accept it and move on, as much as it hurts.

Covid 19: Angst train :)

All reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated!!!

[thewhitejournal]

”The Intern”

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

(not my gif)

hey all! so recently i’ve gotten into criminal minds and i may or may not have fallen in love with thomas gibson, so! i decided to write some fanfic about him. please let me know what you think, any feedback is great. like and share if you enjoyed, and let me know if i should continue this as a series! thanks a bunch!

content warnings: none

It was your first day shadowing under Penelope Garcia, a technical analyst at the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico, Virginia. Your dad had some connections to the bureau and got you a special opportunity to see what a day, or rather, a week in the life of a technical analyst at the BAU consisted of.

Technical analyst, that’s been your dream job for what felt like forever; before you knew what the words meant, you knew you wanted to be able to do extensive research on awful people and help put a stop to their doings. Helping people was one of the things you felt you did best. So you were going to make a career out of it.

Stepping over your stacks of clothes and textbooks, you sized yourself up in your floor-length mirror. Your mom helped you pick out some new clothes, and you were wearing your favorite shirt you found while shopping. It was a navy button-up shirt, carefully pressed so there were no wrinkles. It fit your curves right in every way, and the navy complimented your skin tone perfectly. Your eyes travelled to your neckline; a chain with a simple charm hung around your neck, the metal shining in the sunlight coming in from the blinds.

Your fingers played with the charm, twirling it back and forth. It matched the pair of earrings you wore, a hand-me-down set of jewelry from someone in your family, probably your grandmother. You looked yourself in the eyes, admiring your simple makeup. Your hair fell in waves; you fooled with it a bit to make sure there wasn’t a hair astray. Your attention wandered back to your outfit. The black slacks had a piece of fuzz or two on them, and you picked them off, straightening them out. Your mom tried to convince you to wear a skirt, but you insisted pants were more practical. They are, of course.

The only part of your ensemble you might regret is the black pair of heels that were already hugging your feet in a bit of an uncomfortable manner. It was the comprise you made with your mom to not wear the skirt. You had to admit though, they complimented you well. Glancing at the clock on your wall, you saw it was almost time to leave. You grabbed your black blazer, pulling it on and releasing your hair from the neckline.

The keys laying on your table in your apartment jingled as you picked them up. You grabbed your purse and gave the place a once over, making sure you didn’t forget anything. You flicked the lights off, shutting and locking your door behind you, and headed towards the elevator.

Stepping in and pressing the button to the garage, you let out a shaky breath, suddenly realizing how nervous you were. You tried to breathe steady breaths and calm down, but it was hard. Your mind was racing. Would you be any good? Could you handle the cases? Would Penelope like you? What if nobody liked you?

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, pulling you from your thoughts. You could do this. Probably.

Your heels clicking echoed throughout the parking garage, followed by the sound of your car unlocking and beeping. Opening the door, you climbed in and sat your purse in the passenger seat, sighing heavily. You wish you had some sort of idea of what to expect for today, but it’s like you were walking into a room blindfolded. You slid the keys in the ignition and started the car, pulling it out of the garage and making the short drive to the BAU.

A playlist of your favorite songs spilled through the speakers and filled the air; you thought maybe the music would help you feel better, and it did. But that feeling of bliss ended quickly when you pulled into the parking lot. Turning the car off, you looked out your windshield at the daunting and intimidating building before you. Making one last check of your appearance in the review mirror, you grabbed your keys and your purse and made your way to the front door.

You told the front desk person what you were instructed to by Penelope, and he let you proceed to the elevator. You luckily ended up alone in the elevator, giving yourself some more time to mentally prepare. It dinged, signalling your arrival to the floor you were supposed to be on.

The directions from the elevator to Penelope’s office replayed in your head like a broken record, as to not forget your way there. You tried to keep your head held high, but it was hard to; a feeling washed over you, like every pair of eyes in the room was on you. Maybe that was just paranoia though. You were about to reach her office when an undoubtedly handsome and buff man stepped foot into your path as you passed him.

“I think I’d remember seeing your pretty face around here, got a pretty name to go with it?” He said coyly, raising his dark and thick eyebrows as he spoke, a smirk gracing his face that showed off his incredibly straight teeth.

You stuttered and tried to think of what to say to such a bold question, but Penelope peeked her head out of her office before you had the chance to conjure a sentence.

“Ah ah, Derek. That one’s mine. Leave her be.” She said, looking at you with a kind smile. She waved you over, and you slid past Derek.

“Nice meeting you, Derek.” You called over your shoulder as Penelope practically pulled you into her office. You heard him huff with defeat and say something else before she shut the door behind you.

“But I don’t get your name?” He practically yelled, arms rising and then falling in defeat. He shook his head and returned to what you assumed to be his desk. You and Penelope shared a laugh.

“Hi, honey! I hope sweet-cheeks out there didn’t give you too much trouble. It’s so nice to finally meet you! Your dad’s told me so much about you!” She said to you, extending her hand, the sound of bracelets jingling accompanying it. She was quite bubbly, it was clear to see. Her clothes and office space were colorful and bright; it’s not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just not what you expected to see inside an FBI agent’s office.

You shook her hand, returning the smile she gave you. “No, he didn’t. I was just taken by surprise is all. It’s nice to meet you too!” She took your purse from your hands and sat it on the table closest to the door, next to the purse you assumed to be hers. She gestured to an empty chair that was pushed into the table; it sat in front of a laptop, a setup that looked puny compared to hers. She had several monitors all over the wall and two separate computers set up.

“Your seat, madam.” You chuckled a bit, sitting down. Her personality made you feel more at ease immediately. Maybe she was always like this, or maybe she could tell you were tense. Either way, it helped you feel better, and you were already starting to like her.

“So what I usually do is sit in front of these screens all day and dig up the nasty stuff on the bad guys for our good guys. I’m talking sealed records, CCTV, bank accounts, you name it and I can find it.” Penelope was sat down in her own chair now, waving her hands around as she spoke. You sat silently, listening intently as she continued to tell you what her job consisted of. Suddenly, her door was swung open. A tall man in a suit with black hair and beautiful light brown eyes stood there, looking directly at Penelope. He was holding a file.

“Garcia, we have a case.” His left arm outstretched to hand her the file, letting you be able to notice his shiny watch and wedding band. It was almost like he didn’t even know you were there - at first. His eyes glanced over your way, then did a double-take, when you assumed he realized he didn’t know who you were.

“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner. You must be the intern Penelope was telling me about.” His hand reached out to shake yours. You stood to your feet quickly and shook it. His grip was firm and his hands were huge. You tried not to make it obvious that you were intimidated by him, but you tried very hard to not let your gaze fall to the floor. Looking into his eyes gave you butterflies, which was odd. This man was a stranger to you and yet he seemed so familiar.

“Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you, sir, I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I’m really excited to be here.” You gave him a smile, and he returned the favor, a soft one gracing over his lips. Your hands seemed to be clasped together for a second or two too long, but neither of you seemed to be objected to it. He let his hand fall from yours, and he shoved them in his pocket.

“Well from what I hear from Garcia, we’re lucky to have you. Nice to meet you, (Y/N). And you can call me Hotch.” With that and one last smile to you both, he swiftly shut the door behind him. You sat back down and noticed Garcia giving you a weird look, a smirk on her face. You laughed nervously.

“What?” You asked her, her smile beaming at you.

“Nothing, he just never smiles like that. Especially not since Haley-, well his wife...” She trailed off. Your brows furrowed. If something had happened between him and his wife, why was he still wearing a wedding band?

“Is she-?”

“Dead? No. Staying at her parent’s house with their son? Yes. It’s taken a toll on him, but I haven’t seen him smile like that in forever. We’ll have to keep you around, you’re magic or something, kid. Hotch doesn’t smile for anyone.” Penelope turned to her computers and started typing away, getting ready to work the case you assumed. A blush crept up onto your cheeks. Something told you that you wouldn’t mind staying there a bit longer either.