#but I’ve had negative spoons when it comes to doing anything with this blog
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theashofwkm · 2 years ago
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Very vague pop in and update. I am not dead. I have added a few hundred words to a pre-WKM thing focused on Mark and Celine’s divorce. It is very sad and I feel for Mark in it. That version of him deserves better.
Probably will not see light soon, but. It’s a thing getting work done. As for the revenge thing… I don’t know when that will see light. The rewrites are more intensive than I thought they’d be.
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purrincess-chat · 4 years ago
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Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH22
And we’re back! Chapters will resume posting on Fridays both here on tumblr and on AO3 (linked below). I hope you’re ready for the second half of this story. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve that are different from last time, so I hope you all enjoy it!
Previous     First     Next      AO3
Chapter 22: Mean
Marinette chewed her lip, picking at the hem of her shirt. She’d been too nervous to sleep, and the coffee she drank on the way to the hotel made her jittery. Clara and her manager flipped through her designs, the silence eating away at Marinette’s composure. Did Clara like them? Hate them? Had Marinette let her down? Why wasn’t she saying anything?
Clara glanced up at Marinette, a smile curling on her lips. She stood up with an amused giggle and took Marinette’s hands. “Oh, Marinette, you can chill. These designs really fit the bill. Choosing you was in good taste. Eloise, send these to my tailor, posthaste.” Clara winked, and Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. “Truly, great work, Marinette. I love them.”
“I’m glad. Thank you so much for this opportunity.” Marinette bowed.
“Although your formality is rather cutesy, there’s no need since you and I are friends, you see.” She spun Marinette around and pulled her in for a hug. “I felt a connection with you right away. If you ever need anything, you just have to say.”
Marinette’s chest swelled as Clara pulled away and brushed her nose with a finger.
“Eloise, write a check for her beautiful mind.” Clara ordered, pacing over to the piano. “I’ve got an idea for a new song that will be simply divine!”
Clara’s manager tore a check from her book and handed it to Marinette as Clara began to pluck at the piano. Marinette did a double-take to make sure the decimal was in the right place, but before she could protest, Clara’s security guard ushered her out.
“Goodbye, my dearest friend. I’ll miss you until we meet again!” Clara blew a kiss.
As the door closed behind her, Marinette glanced down at the check, heart pounding. Clara liked her designs! She considered Marinette a friend! Oh, she’d love to see the look on Lila’s face the day Clara walked the red carpet in Marinette’s dress.
“I’m so proud of you, Marinette!” Tikki said as Marinette tapped the button for the elevator. “You worked really hard, and it paid off.”
“I’m just happy that Clara liked my designs. It’s not about the money for me. I want to design clothes that make people feel good,” she said, stepping onto the elevator. “I can’t wait to tell everyone over tea this afternoon!”
“Will there be cookies at the tea party?” Tikki asked.
Marinette shot her a knowing smile and brushed her kwami’s nose with one finger. “Control that sweet tooth of yours.”
“I want to celebrate your accomplishments!” Tikki shot back indignantly. “If there happens to be cookies there, then so be it.”
“Tell you what,” Marinette said as the elevator dinged on the first floor. “I told everyone to come over at 2. Why don’t you and I celebrate now? Let’s go get some ice cream.”
Tikki perked up, ducking down into her purse. Marinette shut the clasp as she paced out the front doors of the hotel. Pulling out her phone to see where Andre was stationed today, she failed to look up as she rounded the corner and collided with another person.
“Sorry!” she gasped as they both stumbled backward, but upon seeing the face of her victim, her face hardened.
“Finally apologizing for trying to upstage me? It’s about time,” Lila said.
“I’m sorry for bumping into you. Nothing else.” Marinette rolled her eyes and stepped around her.
“So, you’re not sorry for abandoning all of your friends then? For turning your back on Alya?” Lila asked.
Marinette’s hands balled into fists, but she didn’t stop. “Alya made her choice.”
“And she chose me over you.” Lila smirked. “She even got us matching bff necklaces. She’s so sweet.”
“Congratulations. I’m sure your genuine friendship built on honesty and trust will last a lifetime.” Marinette retorted.
“I’m just glad she finally deleted her blog dedicated to that insect. She has so much more time on her hands to do all of my work,” Lila said. “You know, I’m class representative now since you deserted your post.”
Marinette bit her lip hard. Lila was taunting her, and she knew it. How could anyone be this vindictive? Marinette had always known Lila was evil, but she really had a way of one-upping herself. Marinette made a promise with Adrien to stay out of it, but no matter how far she ran, Lila was always right behind her.
Marinette spun around with a sharp retort on her tongue, but a silver limo pulling up to the curb cut her off. She half expected blond hair to pop out, but to her surprise, it was Martin who appeared.
“Hey, Marinette. I saw you walking, so I had my driver pull over.” He flicked his gaze between them. “Do you and your friend need a ride?”
“Ha! She and I will never be friends. I have much better taste,” Lila said.
Martin eyed Marinette, eyebrows knitting together when she shifted her weight.
“Then if you don’t mind, please leave her alone. She’s my friend,” he requested.
“You don’t want to be friends with a loser like her. I’m the great-granddaughter of world-famous piano player, Victor Laurent,” she said, fluffing her hair. Her sinister smile said that she’d taken all of Marinette’s friends once, and she’d do it again.
“Victor Laurent didn’t have any children. He died alone at the age of 72 from pneumonia…” Martin tilted his head to one side. “And anyway, Marinette’s great-uncle is a world-famous chef with his own brand of cookware—my mom loves his knives. Not to mention she knows Jagged Stone and is good friends with Adrien Agreste. She has a lot of connections.”
Marinette stifled a laugh as Lila gasped in offense. Martin blinked in confusion as Lila stalked off with a huff, glaring over her shoulder at them.
“Who was that girl?” he asked.
“One of the worst human beings you’ll ever meet,” Marinette replied. When Martin seemed confused, she added, “It’s a long story. I was actually on my way to get some ice cream. Wanna come?”
“Sure.”
Andre was in Marinette’s favorite spot in the Trocadero—a fitting compensation for the unpleasant encounter they’d just had. They found a bench, ice cream cones in hand, and Marinette flopped onto it with a sigh. Lila was insufferable, but Marinette wasn’t going to let it spoil her day. Clara liked her designs. Nothing else mattered.
“So, that’s the girl who turned all of your friends against you?” Martin asked, and Marinette nodded. “Wow. No wonder you changed schools. I would have changed cities.”
“I thought about it.” Marinette took a spoonful of ice cream. “She’s super manipulative, and if you side against her, she does everything in her power to ruin your life.”
“She sounds like Gabrielle just without the muscle, but at least we don’t have to put up with her now that her family’s bankrupt,” Martin said.
“Yeah…” Marinette lowered her gaze. “I bet you were really happy when you found out about Gabrielle.”
Martin shrugged. “I’m glad she doesn’t pick on everyone anymore, but I can’t imagine losing everything. I feel kinda bad for her… Is that weird?”
“I don’t think so,” Marinette said. “Actually, I feel the same way. No one deserves to go through that.” She pursed her lips, jabbing her ice cream with the spoon. “I’m surprised you of all people don’t hate her. She was the worst to you.”
“I try not to hate anyone,” Martin said around a bite. “I think everyone has good inside them deep down, and with the right influence, anyone can change if they want to.”
“So, you think Gabrielle could be a good person?” she asked.
“Well, sure. Why not?” Martin quirked a brow.
Marinette eyed him, a small smile curling on her lips. She sat up and turned to face him.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Uh, sure. What’s up?” he asked.
“It’s a long story, but Gabrielle and I are kind of friends now. I think…” Marinette admitted. “I haven’t told anyone because of everything, but I think you’re right. Anyone can be nice if they want to be, even Gabrielle.” When Martin seemed stunned, she curled her shoulders and added, “Do you hate me?”
Martin’s face softened, and he shook his head. “Of course not! I could never hate you.” He assured her. “I think it’s good. If anyone can help Gabrielle find the light inside of her, it’s you, Marinette.”
She leaned back on the bench with a smile, the spring sun warming her cheeks. Winter was over, leaving the cold and dreary behind. Nature was turning over new leaves. A fresh start, just like Marinette wanted. She took a deep breath, picturing all of the good things in her life. Adrien, Macy, Eliott, Martin, Gabrielle. Chloe, weirdly. Her parents, Tikki, Master Fu, Chat Noir, Clara. New opportunities. New beginnings.
She exhaled, letting all of the negative flow out with her breath. Lila had no power over her anymore, and after two months of running, Marinette was finally free.
♪♫♪ Cruel Summer ♪♫♪
Marinette hummed jovially, the heat from the tea kettle on the stove warming her arms. Her friends would be over soon to celebrate her presentation. After her run-in with Lila earlier, Martin dropped her off at home, where her dad made special macarons for their celebration. Talking to Martin eased her nerves, and Lila’s empty threats were far from her mind. Today she was celebrating.
It was the first time her new friends were coming to hang out at her house. After seeing all of their extravagant homes, Marinette might have felt self-conscious about her family’s tiny apartment, but her friends never gave her reason to worry. If only Adrien were joining them, but he was busy with a photoshoot. He promised to make it up to her, which had her head swimming with possibilities. Oh, she hoped whatever he had in mind involved kissing. Three almosts was driving her wild. Would she ever get to kiss those perfect lips?
And what were they now? Were they dating? Marinette didn’t know for sure, but they had to be pretty close, right? Adrien was so bold with her lately, complimenting her, touching her face, her hair, her hands… One of these days she’d snatch those lips down to hers if he didn’t kiss her soon. Kissing Adrien—the thought alone made her melt.
She wanted to hear his voice, but did she dare call him? He probably wouldn’t answer since he never brought his phone to photoshoots—always so professional. Then again, she could listen to his really cute voicemail… And she still hadn’t told him how her presentation went. Maybe she’d leave him a message. Girlfriends were allowed to do that, right? Oh god, Adrien’s girlfriend! She’d have to get used to calling herself that. Okay, no more stalling. New beginnings. Marinette wasn’t going to second-guess herself anymore. She was going to charge forward with confidence!
Pressing the call button, she chewed her lip with a giggle. This was really happening! One cute voicemail, then the next time they saw each other, she was going to kiss Adrien on the lips. Then they’d become boyfriend and girlfriend, date throughout the rest of collége and lycée, go off to university and get married, have 3 kids, and a hamster named-
Wait!
What was she going to say in the voicemail? She didn’t know how to be cute and flirty! Every time she tried, she ended up rambling about her toothbrush or falling down stairs. She needed to write a script. Abort! Abort!
“Missing me already?”
Marinette’s heart skipped at Adrien’s flirtatious lilt.
“Adrien! You answered,” she gasped.
“You called me, and you’re surprised I picked up?” he chuckled.
“Well, I thought you had a photoshoot, I was just going to leave a message,” Marinette said.
“I just got done with makeup, so I have a few minutes. I was actually thinking of calling you,” he said. “I’m sorry I can’t be there.”
“No worries. I understand.” She assured him.
“I take it your presentation went well?”
“Yeah! That’s what I was calling to tell you. Clara loved my designs! I’ve never been so happy.” Marinette paced the length of her living room, biting back a smile. “I ran into Lila as I was leaving, but not even she could ruin my mood.”
“Whoa, wait! You ran into Lila?” Adrien asked.
“Ugh, yeah, but it was fine. Martin swooped in before she got me too riled up. She even tried to lie him out of backing me up, but he totally called her out. I’ve never seen her pout so hard.” When Adrien remained quiet on the other end, she added, “I’m fine, really. I’m not going to let her bother me anymore. This thing with Clara could open up a lot of opportunities for me.”
“I guess you’re right. Lila only wishes she were half as talented as you. You’re amazing, Marinette,” Adrien said, bringing a familiar warmth to her cheeks. “They’re ready for me on set, so I have to go.”
Marinette tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to tell you the good news, and…talk for a minute.”
“You can interrupt me anytime. I’m always happy to hear your voice,” he said. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay.” Marinette bit back a smile.
“Oh, and congratulations! You deserve it, Marinette.”
Marinette hung up with a dreamy sigh, hugging her phone to her chest. She was going to replay that conversation in her head for the rest of the evening. Before she could get lost in her lovestruck daydreams, the doorbell rang.
“Congratulations!” Macy hugged Marinette’s neck the moment she opened the door. “Oh, I knew she was going to love them!”
“Uh, I think you’re choking her.” Martin pointed out, and Macy let go.
“Sorry! But you did it! A major celebrity is going to wear your designs to an official awards show. That’s huge!” Macy squealed. “Oh! Is this your living room? It’s so cozy!”
As Macy pushed past Marinette into the apartment, Martin presented her with a bouquet of flowers.
“We picked these up for you on the way.”
“Thanks! That’s so sweet.” Marinette gestured him in, moving to find a vase in the kitchen. “Where’s Eliott?”
“He’ll be here soon. He was auditioning for another play today, so he’s running late,” Macy explained. “Your house is so cute! Did you make these pillows?”
“Uh, yeah. They were one of the first things I learned how to sew,” Marinette said, filling a vase in the sink. “My dad made macarons, and I’m making tea if you want any.”
Martin helped himself, taking a seat at the table, but Macy moved over to the bookcase to look at their family photos. Marinette set the vase in the middle of the table and grabbed the cups from the cupboard.
“Are you feeling better now?” Martin asked while she set the table. “I mean, after running into that girl earlier?”
“Yeah,” Marinette said, surprised by how much she meant it. “I’m not worried about her anymore. I’m fine.”
Martin relaxed. “Good. You seem happier now than when you first came to school,” he said. “I could tell how sad you were, even when you were smiling.”
Marinette grabbed the kettle from the stove and pursed her lips.
“I guess I’m not as good at hiding as I thought.” She laughed bitterly. “It’s been hard, but I’m really lucky to have people that support me. I have you all to thank for that.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” Martin smiled, an expression Marinette returned.
“Right.”
“Marinette? Is this you?” Macy held up a baby picture. “You were so cute!”
Marinette’s cheeks burned, but before she could snatch the photo away from her, the front door flew open. Eliott burst in, hair disheveled and eyes wide with panic.
“Eliott? What’s-” Macy started.
“I need help!”
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rainbowsky · 4 years ago
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Ask Policy
In the interest of ensuring I can answer as many asks as possible without making too many people wait too long, I’ve decided to give some guidelines for submitting asks. Some of this is just me setting healthy boundaries because I find a lot of asks I get are outside of the scope of what I feel comfortable with, but some of it is just meant to help simplify things for those wanting to submit an ask.
I am always happy to get asks from people so don't let this policy hold you back from asking a question. It's meant as guidance to help people frame their questions to increase the likelihood they'll be answered - and as an explanation for why I don't always answer every ask. Please don't feel intimidated or deterred by the policy.
This policy is subject to change and updates so feel free to check back if there's anything you are unsure about.
I do not answer every ask
I want to start by making it clear that unlike some other bloggers, I do not answer every single ask I get. It would be impossible for me to do that. I don’t have the time or the spoons, and I get a large volume of asks daily. However, I read every single one of them and I do my best to take what I read into consideration when deciding on what to post about, etc. so even if I don’t get to your ask, it will be taken into consideration.
There are also some asks I just won’t answer, some topics I won’t discuss. I will try to outline the primary ones below, to make expectations clear.
Timing of answers
Also, I do not always answer asks in the order they are received. That would not be practical. Some asks require research and thought. Some inspire ideas that take longer for me to articulate than others. Some are time-sensitive. All of these impact the timing of a response.
Someone asking me, “What makes you believe BJYXSZD?” is going to take me a long time (months, apparently) while someone asking me, “What time is the XYZ livestream happening tonight?” takes only a moment to answer. Sometimes I get fixated on tangents about DD’s hair and fashion and will answer several asks in a row about it, even though there are older asks in the inbox.
All I can say is, I try to strike the right balance between giving people what they’re asking for while ensuring that I enjoy being on Tumblr and don’t end up feeling like it’s a job I’m not getting paid for. Sometimes I will set aside my needs for the needs of the readers, and other times I will set aside the needs of the readers for my own. This is the best way I’ve found to keep that balance right.
Guidelines for submitting an ask
Please check my index post before sending an ask. Many common questions will be answered in those posts.
Please try to keep the total word count under 300 words.
If you are asking a question, please make sure it's stated clearly.
If you want me to comment on something you saw online, please include a link so that I can see what you’re referring to.
If you have submitted the same question to multiple bloggers, please be open and honest about that.
If you aren’t anon and want me to respond privately please make that clear.
Things I'm unlikely to respond to
Hateful, harassing asks are deleted without hesitation.
Asks that go beyond the word count will likely not be answered. I have frequently gotten asks in the 600-1,200 word count range, and it’s just too much. If you have a lot to say, I recommend starting a blog of your own. Now, if you have that much to say to me and you don’t care about it being replied to then feel free to send it in, but please understand that I will likely not post your ask.
Asks that speak negatively of GG and/or DD, or that frame GG or DD as rivals or in opposition to each other, will be deleted. Such messages tend to be anti messages, and I won’t let my blog be a platform for that. If you have a good-faith question relating to that topic please be careful how you frame it, and understand I might not be willing to post a response.
Asks that are obviously copy pasted to multiple bloggers I will not answer unless there's a clear reason why they want multiple perspectives, and only if that has been stated openly in the ask. Spammed asks will be deleted.
Asks that just repeat or affirm what's already been said are less likely to be posted than ones that add something new to the conversation.
Complaints about what other people are doing online are generally referred to my post about fan wars. That’s not because I don’t care how you feel. I do, and I know how frustrating the fandom can be. I tend not to respond to those asks because I don’t want to fuel those thoughts and feelings in others, or to be a platform for spreading negativity and anger about others (and that includes solos). If you really want to talk about something relating to fan wars, try to find a way to frame it that won’t violate those principles.
While I am always happy to get fic recommendations, I have a policy of not posting fic recs to my blog. I cannot be a platform for promoting anything I haven’t yet read. I have gotten some recs that fall outside the type of fic I’m comfortable with. However, if I like the fic you recommend, it might end up on my rec list.
Asks regarding other ships, other fandoms or other artists besides GGDD are outside of my purview. My focus is on GGDD and things immediately relating to them.
Asks about time-sensitive things that have passed. For example, asks that people sent me about a live event as it was happening, which referenced things that would have made sense if read at the time but make no sense now or feel out of place after the fact, are unlikely to be responded to now.
Topics I am working on at the moment
Here’s a list of some of the ask-related posts I am currently working on, in case you are wondering whether to ask about a certain topic. If your ask hasn’t been answered you might want to check back here to see if it’s on the list.
What makes you believe BJYXSZD?
An update to my timeline post.
The BTS is fake/fan service.
Oversexualization of GGDD, especially on Twitter.
Why do solos dismiss GGDD’s relationship?
Will GG and DD ever come out?
If your ask hasn’t been answered
If your ask hasn’t been answered and
It’s been longer than a few weeks
It’s a topic I haven’t already covered (refer to my index post)
It isn’t on the list of topics I am currently working on (above)
It isn’t on the list of topics I won’t respond to (also above)
then there’s a chance it’s been lost or that I just haven’t had time. If it’s a question that really matters to you then feel free to resubmit as long as your ask meets all four of the criteria above.
If you do resubmit, consider rephrasing or reframing your ask to make it clearer and easier to answer.
I can’t guarantee I will get to it any sooner, but I will do my best.
If you don’t have time to answer all asks, why not close your inbox?
Some bloggers close their inbox when they are getting a volume of asks beyond what they have time to answer. I suspect they do that because it works for them and for how they go about things. That approach would not work for me or for how I like to engage with the fandom.
To me there is a huge value in being able to respond to asks about issues and events as they arise. It’s important to me to be able to discuss things that are currently happening, with input from readers as it is contributed. Closing my inbox would prevent that.
A lot of asks can be answered quickly. Yes, I could close my inbox and limit my answers to the longer, more time consuming asks that are lurking there. If I did so, I would ironically be answering significantly fewer asks than by leaving it open.
I also try to think about it from the ‘do unto others’ perspective, and in terms of what I expect from other bloggers when I submit an ask to them. I regularly submit asks to other blogs and when I do so, I never expect a response. I might hope for a response, of course, but I don’t expect it. I understand that people respond if/when they are able, and there might be countless reasons they wouldn’t get to my particular ask. I hope that readers can feel the same way when submitting an ask to me.
Can I message you privately?
Yes you can, but if you are messaging me to ask me a question or tell me something that might be of interest to other readers, please consider sending it as an ask so that it can be shared with everyone.
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ablednt · 4 years ago
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aren’t u that blog that constantly promotes self dx and bashes professional dx? like self dx is fine but it’s a last resort for people who can’t access prof dx.
I don't bash prof dx, first off. I fully understand and respect people who needed one for any reason.
However self diagnosis should never be treated like a backup for if you can't get a prof dx and here is why:
(Disclaimer: exact details vary by country making this not fully accurate in every country also I am not saying that treatment is bad or that therapists are inherently bad I am currently trying to seek therapy but any good therapist will treat you without a diagnosis if they are aware of the legal consequences of one)
You can and likely will lose your rights for your diagnoses. It's different by country but in the US if your diagnosed with things like DID, Autism, and probs a lot more you won't be allowed to go on HRT if you're trans. You may have your children taken away if you have any, you may be prevented from donating or receiving blood or organs, if you have abusive family members they may be able to put you under a conservatorship (what happened to Britney Spears) etc.
Literally the vast majority of psychologists do not study these disorders! Do you know what they do when they prof dx? THE SAME SHIT PPL WHO SELF DX DO. The dx process is exactly the same but with a professional dx you have someone who doesn't have that thing, who has no actual first hand experiences, listening to you talk about that thing and telling you whether or not they think you have it with literally no input from the community.
By saying every one has to try to be prof dxed before they're allowed to self dx you're saying that people of color should put up with blatant racism because there's so many documented biases.
Also the criteria that therapists use to diagnose is found in the dsm5, have you read it? I have, it says that autistic people cannot take care of themselves that they're prone to self harm bc of their autism and that they should have their needs ignored it uses all the labels that autistic people ask it doesn't. It says that even if an adult fits all the criteria of ADHD that if their parents arent available to say "yeah they sucked at school and were annoying" that you shouldn't diagnose them. The criteria for personality disorders, schizophrenia, and similar are all intentionally vague and/or exclusionary to one highly stereotyped set of symptoms. They literally admitted to trying to make the criteria for DID as specific and exclusive as possible because they wanted to remove it entirely because they believed people dxed with MPD before DID was coined did not deserve treatment.
The field of psychology started historically to abuse people, they were thrown into asylums and literally beaten and subjected to horrible conditions for any presumed mental illness. This actually has not changed very much at all, even in the last century a psychiatrist was caught physically abusing his patients and using the theory he made on DID to force them to keep coming to him for therapy. Psyche wards are notorious for mistreating patients there in every aspect and I've had psyche students tell me they believe that psychologists should have the right to physically harm patients. Children professionally dxed with autism are often physically harmed at school by their teachers, physical restraint is still used and it's killed multiple autistic students.
Children and teens in abusive homes have ableist parents often who may get violent or worsen the abuse or use a dx against them legally to trap them at home. Do you give them a pass for self dx? Except here's the thing you literally don't know who's being abused and who isn't and asking ppl that is really fucked up so you should be accepting all self dx to create a welcoming and safe space for them.
Physciatrists actually misdiagnose more than people mis-self-diagnose. Which isn't a reflection on the psychiatrist as much as the fact that people know their own experiences but they very often can't explain them. An example before I met someone who had OSDD1 and would explain it to me from first hand perspective no one would have ever suspected I had a dissociative disorder and was plural Because the only words I had for my experiences were "everything before a certain date literally wasn't me idk I'm just not the same person I was" "I'm a really good writer because I talk to characters in my head all day and they respond to things even when I'm not trying to think about them and they're real to me somehow idk lol" none of that sounds like DID but I was actually describing memory gaps from switches, internal communication and presence of fictives, etc. The best guest anyone had was depression and an overactive imagination. Self dxing is literally more accurate and accessible because people can look at the community and see the disorder explained from first hand experience.
Historically (but it's still happening in some cases) therapists would literally refuse treatment to anyone who talked to other people with their diagnosis. The case I'm thinking of is people with MPD (the dx that came before DID replaced it) would be refused therapy if they spoke to anyone else with MPD outside of therapy and even forbade them from going to support groups for survivors of incestual abuse because those groups advocated for the rights of people with MPD. To this day therapists often disrespect any and all ND/mentally ill communities because we happen to know our own literal lived experiences better than them.
Oh and prof dxes are often used against people legally so if anyone is in a minority group often targeted by police that potentially puts them in even more danger if they're arrested. Least we forget there's an entire field of study dedicated to criminalizing mental illness.
This isnt even half the reasons but I'm running out of spoons (I can source most of these things but I don't have the spoons so if anyone needs a source just ask)
I'm a firm believer that the need for prof dx not be pushed on everyone when it can have permanent and negative consequences and is no better than a self dx. If someone needs a diagnosis for access to medications, for financial support, or for any other legal reason then it very well may be worth the risk but they need to have the right to understand the consequences and make that decision. Imo it's professional dxes that should be not a last resort perse but it shouldn't even remotely be your first steps, your first steps are find the community and hear their actual lived experiences bc that will be so much clearer than anything a therapist who doesn't experience that thing can explain.
Also why do you care if people self dx? Why does their not having an Official Document saying they have their disorder bother you? I think it's deeply unsettling that you think everyone in the entire world needs YOUR approval to have something.
Jsyk the sentiment that self dx is lesser than prof dx is fostered by our capitalist nt society that's benefiting off of our abuse and systematic oppression so like you're literally helping us stay oppressed with this rhetoric.
If y'all really want to be progressive and anti-capitalist like most of this site does (and should) then that goes for disability justice too. Stop helping our own communities abuse and accept that not everyone has the luxury you apparently had to never be affected by your diagnosis ever.
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httpjeon · 6 years ago
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— 04. bunny blues: guilt | yoongi & jungkook
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yoongi/reader/jungkook | angst, fluff | hybrid!au
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wordcount: 1.7k
― synopsis: you’re left alone for the first time with jungkook.
contents: mentions of past hybrid abuse, mentions of abandonment, mentions of weight loss & depressive behavior, (hybrid)scenting, still fluff tho
note: short update but,,,we got shit comin’. reminder reader is a bunny hybrid, jk is a dog hybrid, and yoongs is human!
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blog masterlist ɪɴᴅᴇx: 01 | 02 | 03 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
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© httpjeon 2019. do not repost, modify, or translate.
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By hiding in your bedroom for the next couple days, you managed to avoid all confrontation with Yoongi. Neither man bothered you, opting to give you space. However, they would come to your room to let you know food was ready. You'd taken to simply eating in your room, or getting up after they went to bed to eat leftovers that Yoongi always left wrapped in the refrigerator for you; all to avoid them. It wasn't healthy and you were sure you were losing weight but you couldn't shake yourself out of the negative headspace you'd dug yourself into.
You took Jungkook's words to heart so seriously that you couldn't even realize the damage you were causing in the process.
It was a Monday, you knew because Yoongi came in to let you know. If not for him, you were completely out of the loop on the day.
"Wake up, honey," He whispered, using the opportunity to pet your ears until your eyes opened. "I've got to go to work, my leave is over."
"You're leaving?" You whispered, sitting up a little bit to see it was still dark outside.
"I'll be back tonight, don't worry," He smiled, petting your bedhead down. "Jungkookie will be here with you, so you won't be alone, alright?"
"Okay," You muttered and laid back in bed. You felt the urge to hug him but managed to suppress it.
"See you," He called before leaving the room.
You faintly heard him leave the house altogether as you drifted back to sleep.
The sun was peeking through your curtains the next time your eyes opened, but it wasn't the sun that woke you up ― it was a knock on your bedroom door. It could only be one person.
"Yes?" You grumbled, sitting up in bed.
"Get up and come eat," Jungkook ordered, voice more strict than you'd ever heard it.
"I-I'm not hungry," You muttered, still feeling bad about lying to him.
"I don't care. Get up," He snapped before turning away and walking down the hall, footsteps fading.
You sighed, knowing you had no choice but to do as he told you to do. You pulled yourself out of bed and changed into some comfortable house clothes ― just a sweater and some shorts.
Once you were in the living room, you found a plate on the coffee table of what appeared to be some kind of soup. Jungkook was sitting on the floor, watching cartoons on the television.
"I uh...I've never made food for bunnies so...I hope it's okay," He admitted, looking over his shoulder after pausing his own eating. "Yoongi-hyung left me the instructions so if it's bad, blame him."
You smiled fondly at his admission and picked up the spoon, immediately fishing out a couple of the cooked carrots. You hummed, sipping the soup to help wash them down.
"It's yummy, Jungkook," You complimented and though he didn't turn around, his tail thumped against the floor happily.
You finished the rest of the soup just as he finished his own food.
"I'll wash the dishes," He offered, taking your bowl. But instead of going to the kitchen with them, he put them on the table to bother with them later.
Typical Jungkook move.
It fell into sudden silence and you found yourself fidgeting. You didn't feel comfortable but Jungkook didn’t seem to even notice as his gaze was fixed on the TV.
"I-I guess I'll leave," You finally stuttered into the awkward atmosphere, preparing to go back to hiding in your room.
Jungkook reached out and snatched a hold of your wrist, halting you from taking even a step. He scooted back so he was sitting on the couch as well, pulling you to sit beside him.
"Don't go," He muttered, his ears drooping sadly. You both sat in silence for a moment, the cartoon playing on the TV while Jungkook continued to hold your wrist.
"I'm sorry," He said suddenly and it had your ears twitching in interest.
"F-For what?"
"You know for what," He whispered, reaching up to scratch nervously at his own ear. "I-I didn't mean anything I said that night. I was scared and jealous and...it was an ugly feeling. I lashed out on you and I shouldn't have done that."
"...Scared of what?" You asked, taking his hand in yours as you sat beside him, ready to listen to everything he had to say.
"O-Of losing Yoongi-hyung," He admitted, voice beginning to wobble as he admitted his fear.
"Yoongi wouldn't leave you just because I was there, Jungkook. He loves you," You reassured, squeezing his hand for emphasis.
"I know that, but...at the time I just...all I could think was that he'd choose you over me and I'd be all alone again," He croaked, swallowing thickly.
"Again?" You pried.
"My owner before Yoongi-hyung," Jungkook sniffled, beginning to cry. "He was really mean and he would leave me alone for days with no food, When he was home he would be really mean to me ― you know, he'd hit me and call me names. It was horrible."
Your heart ached at Jungkook's confession. You'd never guess he had such a horrible life before you met him.
"Y-Yoongi-hyung saved me," Jungkook choked out, leaning over to rest his head on your shoulder. "And I was excited you were here, I was! B-But I didn't want him to love you more than me and I'm sorry..."
"It's okay Jungkookie," You admitted, wrapping your arm around him to give him a hug. "M-My first owner was a little boy when I was young," You began, earning his attention. “His mom got me because she thought I'd be easier to care for than a kitty or puppy. But...when they found out how much care I needed, they sent me to a shelter."
"That's so mean," Jungkook whispered, his full attention on you.
"Joonie brought me to his home...and now I'm here." You sighed. "I-I got scared when you told me Yoongi didn't like it when I was needy because that's the reason I lost my last two homes. I really like you and Yoongi and I didn't want to mess up my chance again."
"I shouldn't have ever opened my mouth," He sniffled. "I saw how much my words hurt you but I was...I was too self-absorbed in being the only one Yoongi-hyung paid attention to again! And then I heard you crying the other night and I knew I went too far and that it wasn't fair for you to be miserable because I'm a jealous baby."
"You're not a baby, Kookie," You whined, wrapping your arms around his middle to hug him. "I understand why you did it, I really do. And I forgive you!"
"You do?" He asked, looking down to peek at how sincere you were.
"I do," You smiled, pulling away so he could see your face.
"I'm so glad," He hugged you back. This time the hug lasted for a long while. "And Yoongi-hyung will be glad too. He was really worried about you."
"I know," You whispered. "I felt bad...I could tell he was worried but I thought he just didn't want to get in trouble for mistreating a hybrid."
"Yoongi isn't like that. He cares about you and I more than he cares about himself," His words had you smiling because you knew, deep down, that it was true. Yoongi was selfless, a kind and gentle soul who would give up anything to make others happy. He had a big heart and you could feel his love.
The two of you finally settled down, laying on the couch together to watch the cartoon.
"So what is this?" You asked, making Jungkook gasp.
"You don't know Scooby-Doo?!"
You and Jungkook were sitting together on the floor, you in his lap, watching Scooby-Doo when the front doorknob began to jiggle.You bolted out of Jungkook's lap and raced to the front door. Jungkook trudged along behind you, obviously not understanding your utter excitement.
The second Yoongi stepped into the house, loosening his tie, you launched yourself against him. He sputtered in surprise, eyes wide as he looked at Jungkook, who began to grin.
"Y-You're in a good mood," Yoongi stuttered, slowly returning your hug until he was holding you tightly against him.
"Did you have a nice day?" You chirped, resting your chin on his chest to look up at him while keeping your arms around his waist.
"Yeah I-I did," He laughed, petting your head so your ears were pressed against your head. "Are you hungry?"
"Yeah!" You replied, finally pulling away from the hug.
"Go wash up and I'll start dinner," Yoongi cooed, gently tapping your back s you bounced away into the bathroom. Once you were gone, he fixed his questioning gaze on the dog-hybrid.
"We had a talk," Jungkook confessed, shrugging sheepishly.
"I see it did some good," Yoongi reached up and scratched Jungkook's ears fondly, showing how proud he was of his hybrid's work. "Come help me make dinner."
You splashed water on your face, wiping away whatever dirt or sweat accumulated through the day. You made sure the clean under your fingernails with the sweet-smelling soap Yoongi had chosen for you; a special kind made for bunnies.
You looked in the mirror, smiling to yourself. You looked much happier than you had in days. It was like there was a huge weight lifted off your shoulders thanks to Jungkook apologizing. To say you were happy everything could go back to normal was an understatement.
After drying your hands, you crept out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where Jungkook was sitting at the table doodling on a paper and Yoongi was standing at the stove.
"How do you feel about vegetable stir-fry, ______?" Yoongi asked, tossing you a beaming smile over his shoulder.
"Sounds delicious," Just as you were about to sit in your chair, Jungkook was tugging you to sit in his lap.
"Draw with me," He whispered, his breath fanning over your ears, making you shiver.
"I don't know how," You admitted, taking the colored pencil in your hand. You nearly shrieked when you suddenly felt lips grazing across your neck, right where your scent gland was. You shivered at the realization of what was happening.
Jungkook was scenting you ― for the first time.
"That's okay, I'll teach you," He cooed, kissing your neck ever so softly that you missed it.
With Yoongi humming and cooking and Jungkook wrapping you up in his arms with his scent emanating off of you ― you felt happier than ever.
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geist-fledermaus · 4 years ago
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Get To Know Me!
Since I’ve received quite a few followers here and there, I might as well do this!
What is your full name?: Beryl (Sorry, I don’t like my whole name)
What does your name mean?: It’s a gemstone. 
Are you named after anyone?: My großmütter, Beryl Rae Jensen
Does your name make any interesting anagrams?: Not really?
If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?: Fuck if I know. Probably something basic so I’m less easy to find. 
Where are you from?: North Pole, AK (I shit you not)
Where were you born?: North Pole, AK
Where did you grow up?: North Pole, AK
Who did you look up to growing up?: My father.
What are your best characteristics?: I can draw. 
What are your favorite things about yourself?: I can draw. 
Which of your parents are you closest to?: My dad.
Which of your parents are you more like?: My daaaad.
What relative was important to you growing up & why?: Tbh My dad was my super hero, he took care of me and my sister, worked 3 jobs, and took care of mom while she went through cancer. He’s the most important lmfao.
What is one thing that you’ve never revealed to your parents?: I’m Pagan.
What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?: Bert Raymond... 
What is your best physical feature?: Eyes or chest. :/ 
What is your biggest accomplishment?: Being locally recognized as an artist, especially on local TV. 
What is your biggest fear?: Being forgotten, being alone. 
What is your biggest regret?: Not pushing myself even more with art. 
What is your eye color?: Various blues with inner green circles. 
What inspires you?: Other artists. 
What is the most important thing in your life?: My fiance! @boywasgirl
What has required the most courage of you in your life so far?: To not give up. To not quit college and drop everything I’ve worked hard for. 
What is your favorite flower?: Sunflowers!
What is your favorite weather?: Rainy weather and thunder/lightning storms!
Who is your favorite actor?: I have a few, but I love Johnny Depp and Jason Momoa. 
Who is your favorite actress?: F u c k. I adore Emma Stone, Emma Watson.. uhh.. Emilia Clarke! That’s just to name a few. 
Who is your favorite celebrity?: Oh fuck. Idk. 
Who is your favorite musician?: They’re a band but I love Bring Me The Horizon, Oliver Syke’s voice and lyrics hit me hard. 
Who’s your favorite person in the world?: @boywasgirl
Who are your best friends?: @armageddonne @darkdragoonxiii @vixenchildxd69-blog and my bff Alisha! 
What is your favorite childhood memory?: My sister breaking the fucking garage door like a dumbshit. 
What is your favorite color?: Black or seafoam green~ I also love other greens and blues! It’s so damn hard to choose. 
What is your favorite cultural activity?: Uh. Axe throwing? Idk what counts as a cultural activity when it comes to me and my family haha. 
What is your favorite drink?: For waking up, Monster or pomegranate and orange redbull kickers, I love mountain dew, anything with peaches and mango as well. 
What is your favorite fairytale?: HAHA. I looove reading about the Tales of Grimm. I can’t just pick one. 
What is your favorite food?: Pizza or Taco Bell.
What is your favorite holiday destination?: Anywhere but Alaska. I love to explore. I REALLY want to travel to Germany, Norway, Ireland, England, and most of Western Europe. 
What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?: Strawberry Cheesecake or Mint Chocolate
What is your favorite music genre?: Fuck. I have so many. I love a lot of metal subgenres, alternative rock, punk, old 2000′s emo bands, EDM, rap, I don’t even know how to label all of my favorites but there’s a lot to unpack there. If you’re curious just shoot me a question ahaha! 
What is your favorite physical activity?: Swimming!! 
What is your favorite quote?: ��Keep listening to music because it gets you through everything, I promise.” - Mitch Lucker, former vocalist of Suicide Silence. 
What is your favorite snack?: Peach Rings, Brightside Skittles.. Uhh. MY MOM’S CLAM DIP AND RUFFLES CHIPS? 
What is your favorite song?: Throne - BMTH or Mis//Understanding - We Came As Romans.
What is your favorite sport?: Swimming, Hockey, Volleyball and Fencing. 
What is your favorite time of the day?: Early afternoons or late nights. 
What is your favorite type of clothing?: Goth/Alt fashion. 
What is your favorite way to pass time?: Gaming or drawing. 
What is the name of your favorite restaurant?: Family Diner (It’s in my town. It’s really chill and laid back.)
What is your all-time favorite town or city? Why?: I really enjoyed Denver, CO. It was filled with really colorful, intriguing personalities. There was so much to explore, everyone was so open and sweet. 
What is your height?: ... 5′2″
What time period would you love to live in?: Viking Era. 
What did you do for fun as a child?: Drawing. 
Who was a role model in your life?: My dad! 
Did you have any childhood pets?: I grew up with 5 cats and 4 dogs! 
When you were young, what did you want to be?: A mortician. 
What family traditions were important to you?: I can’t even remember many.. I loved during gatherings how we’d play Spoons, wrestle, and be reckless though. 
What was your favorite childhood memory?: Ahah! Shenanigans with my “Twin” Kyle. 
What was your favorite childhood possession?: My Gameboy Color! 
What challenges did you experience when you were young?: Almost losing my mother, trying to speak English, being bullied heavily. 
What is a defining moment from your childhood?: My mother coming home from the hospital finally. 
What do you do for fun?: Play video games and draw. I’m pretty boring. 
What are your hobbies?: Drawing, Painting, Digital Art, Gaming, Dancing, Singing.
What is something that you’re really passionate about?: My art.
What is something you could spend hours doing?: Drawing
What is something you wish you did more often?: Draw. 
If you had to watch a documentary, what would you want it to be about?: Anything WW1/WW2 related or Forensics/Serial Killer related. 
What do you always have on in the background?: Lofi Hiphop or random videos on youtube that catch my eye. 
How do you feel about travel?: Fuck yeah, where are we going and for how long? 
What is a guilty pleasure you enjoy?: Fuckin’ watching Serial Killer documentaries. 
How have your interests changed over the years?: Nah, I’m still the same. I’m pretty bland. 
Which sibling are you closest to?: My sister, Erika! 
How close are you with your parents?: Close but not too close.
How has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?: For the worse.
What is one of the most important lessons that you learned from your family?: You cannot trust anyone. Not even your own family. 
When does your family cause you to stress?: All the damn time. All they need to do is send me a text and I immediately begin to dread. 
What does the word family mean to you?: Something that I never got to fully have but I experienced. It’s also something I can create on my own accord. 
When you envision your ideal family, what do you see?: Honestly me with my partner/partners, kids, animals, and friends. 
How vulnerable is your family with each other?: Everyone is always on guard and they’ll be mean if you even show some form of sensitivity. 
What is a family trait that isn’t necessarily the healthiest?: Being a snitch, gaslighting, gatekeeping, misogyny, yelling if you even show an inkling of emotion. I could go on. 
What relatives had the biggest impact on you growing up?: In a negative way, almost all of my family. The only two I really loved growing up were my dad and sister, Erika. 
What do you watch on television?: If it’s cable I go to MTV, Forensic Files, or Adult Swim/Anything with cartoons. 
What is one of your favorite movies?: To Hell And Back, Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Dracula Untold (For some reason I just really like it, don’t judge). 
If you could have free tickets to any event, what would it be?: A BMTH concert PLEASE. Or anything that’s a EDM/Rave environment. ;_;
What is your favorite form of media?: Youtube tbh. 
What role does music play in your life?: A huge role, BMTH got me through a lot of hard times. 
What is one of your favorite books?: Corey Taylor’s Seven Deadly Sins. It’s a riot of a read and makes me laugh. 
How often do you watch sporting events?: Here and there, especially at bars if they have Hockey going. 
What would your ideal weekend getaway look like?: Road trip to Anchorage and staying at my mom’s cousin’s estate in the mountains. I only got to go there a few times and the view is absolutely captivating. You can see the waters, the city, all the lights.. fuck I’d love to draw that. 
Who are popular figures that you love to learn from?: Fuck if I know LOL. 
What celebrity/musician would you love to meet in real life?: Oliver Sykes and Maria Brink tbh.
If you wrote a memoir about your life, what would it be called?: “Well, That Happened.” A memoir of a dumb bitch LOL. 
What fictional world would you want to travel to for a day?: FUCK. I’d love to just be in a simulation like the girl in Porter Robinson’s music video of Shelter. Just being in a drawing simulation where I can run around and create anything and everything around me. But if we’re talking actual worlds.. I’d probably love to be in Avatar The Last Airbender’s world. I love that series so much. 
What room in your house most represents who you are as a person?: The Office. It’s got art supplies, our gaming PC, all of my schoolwork/homework, the drawing tablets.. 
How clean a person are you?: Tbh I am pretty clean, it’s just cleaning huge messes/unpacking that I hate. 
What is a pet peeve that you have?: STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH OPEN. 
What behavior do you do that is most likely a pet peeve to others?: Uhh. Idk. Nail biting? Loud laughter? forgetting to turn off lights? Idk. 
What phrase or word do you overuse when you talk?: “I’m so sorry” “I m a g i n e” 
If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, what would it be?: Fuck. Hahaaaaa. I’d probably love to just sit and eat at the Family Diner. I love their Reubens. 
What is something about your personality that you like? Don’t like?: I like that people feel comfortable running to me when they need a friend. I don’t like a lot about me, though.
What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?: I am ambidextrous and I know German/Englisch and some French! I want to learn Norwegian even more and Gaelic! 
Where do you see yourself in a few years?: West coast where it’s rainy with those that I love, pursuing my career finally after all these years of hard work. 
Thanks for reading this if you finally made it to the end! If there’s other questions you want to ask, don’t hesitate! ^^ Hopefully you learned something about me! 
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hiddenhearthwitch · 6 years ago
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📓College Witch Tips📓
I’ve gotten a lot of asks for college witch tips and small living space witchy advice. I wasn’t practicing while I lived in the dorms but I did start practicing(in secret) while I was rooming in a studio apartment my sophmore year of uni so I figure it’s sort of similar. Anyways, I hope this helps someone out there ~ 🧡
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🕯️So, no candles, I totally get that and it’s a fucking bummer. You can always get fake candles though! There’s such a wide variety of picking between pillar sizes, tea lights, or you could even get ones where you pick the color so you can use it for any spell. 
On another note, have you tried string lights? It doesn’t matter if they’re fairy lights, Christmas lights, or bulb strands. I had a specific set of white strands that went around my part of the room and whenever I want to do a spell/feel magical/etc. I would turn them on ~ bonus you can get fake ivy and flower garlands at the Dollar Store to braid with them and it’s suuuper cute.
💧Water magic is a pretty sneaky go to! No one is ever going to be suspicious of water. You could leave a water bottle out near your window “on accident” for Full Moon water! There’s two big areas I think of so let’s break it down!
Bath magic! Everyone has to shower at some point. Without anything else, pure hot water is wonderful for a pure cleanse of your energy, mind, and body. @beau-witchery has a wonderful post on shower magic you can find here. You can also bring some of your crystals or something you want to charge into the bathroom with you(assuming you have private shower stalls) and let the steam from your shower charge them! You can even sprinkle some salt on the shower floor to help you release negativity and feel charged.
Water bottle magic! This is super universal tbh and I use it for so many things. You can put crystals in your water bottle to charge your water with whatever you need. Red jasper for strength and vitality, quartz for charging and cleanings, amethyst for magic and protection, rose quartz for beauty and love, etc. There are a lot of water soluble crystals so please do proper research first. I would inherently recommend not using anything under a hardness of seven, so do your research!! You can also put in fresh herbs or slices to fruit to enchant it with corresponding properties or to boost your energy.
📚Speaking of research, it’s a fundamental part of magic and college! Use your university library! They’ll definitely have books on the alchemy of plants, gemstones, and I’ve been able to find a few on magic at each uni I’ve visited so give it a look. You can also check out your local library and check to see if your library has an online database for e-check outs. The Akron Public Library has a huge database for online books, PDFs, and articles to “check out” and read online. See if your library or one in your county does as well - it’s typically the main library.
♌Sigil/stave magic, I know this is probably the most recommended thing for college witches but they’re honestly so helpful. You can design your own sigils/staves or use one that other witches have created.  Here’s a link to a tumblr tag for college/student based sigils. 
Now what to do with the sigils? Well, this is up to you. You could stitch or draw a “sigil to stay safe” on the inside of your backpack, draw a motivation/focus sigil inside your notebooks/binders, draw a good grade/”I’ll do well on tests” sigil on your pencil pouch or draw it on the side of your pencil! There’s so manyyy things you can do, just be creative and don’t feel obligated to do it one way just because someone else is.
🌱Plants may not seem like your first choice since you live in a  dorm but there’s a lot of small, low maintenance plants out there. You just need to know where to look. Keeping a plant in your room can help keep you grounded, feeling closer to your craft if your nature/plant based, and generally help keep the energy and air pure. You can also keep plants around for their metaphysical properties ~
Here is an online database to find local plant nurseries. I always suggest going through a nursery vs. a home or grocery store because the workers actually know how to upkeep the soil, when to water them, feed them, repot them, etc. plus I find they tend to have less root mold or disease when coming from a nursery. Some suggestions for small and low maintenance witchy plants would be: lucky bamboo, air plants(specifically Tillandsia maxima, Tillandsia bulbosa, Tillandsia ionantha, and Tillandsia chiapensis), small breed cacti and snake plants.
🔮Crystals don’t always have to be a giant slab of quartz on an altar. We’ve already talked about how you can use them in your water but you can also, carry small tumbled ones in your pencil pouch, wear them as jewelry, put them in your planters if you have plants, and so much more! You’re not limited to the “traditional” use of crystals. Think outside of the box! If you want to labradorite to keep you safe on campus make a key chain to hang on your bookbag or something like that! Some of my favorite crystals in uni were amethyst(memory), clear quartz(knowledge, cleansing), rose quartz(self love), labradorite(magic/protection), and sunstone(joy, knowledge).
☕Drink magic kind of ties in with water bottle magic but it’s more varied! Drink coffee or black/green tea in the morning to start your day off with grounding. When making your coffee or tea draw a sigil on top with your spoon before stirring. If you’re using honey draw it on the bottom of the mug first. Stir counterclockwise to bring in positivity. Use the properties of your tea, coffee, or creamer in your morning magic.
✨Enchanting would work with just about anything. You could enchant your backpack to keep your grounded, your pencils to keep you motivated, your doorway to ward off negativity, etc. If it’s an actual item you’re enchanting I used to do in secret by using water. For example, I enchanted my favorite sweater to help me feel motivated confident by using the machine cycle as a way to cleanse it + instill positive energy and the dry cycle as a way to infusion act and warmth. I mumbled some words about motivation and stuff when loading the clothing in. You could also use warm water to “clean” a water bottle, gemstone bracelet, set of earrings, etc. as a way to enchant something. 
🎮You don’t need an altar to be a witch! I don’t know where this misconception came from but honestly fuck it. If you would like an altar anyways and can’t have one out in the open you can set one up inside one of your drawers, a shoe box, or even a jewelry box. You can make small portable one’s with Altoid tins or other small boxes like match boxes! If you’re tech friendly and want too, you can say fuck it to all of the above and just make an online altar via a tumblr blog, pinterest board, etc. 
Bonus: do you like vidya gamez? You can do a lot with altars to both deities and for witchcraft in video games. You can build an altar in Minecraft or the Sims. You can build homes dedicated to your craft and gods in Skyrim, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, etc. be creative! 
💖The rest of these suggestions are small things anyone can do to feel more connected to their craft or “witchy”. It can be really hard to feel connected to your craft or like a witch at all when you don’t have time or energy because of school, work, depression, etc. So these are just some of my favorite low effort suggestions.
Meditate in bed for five to ten minutes before getting up!
Put cute witchy stickers or washi tape in your agenda, notebooks, etc. use colors and symbols to correspond with your intention
Go for a walk! It can be around campus, your local graveyard, tbh you could just use your walk to class as a chance to feel connected to nature and refresh your energy.
Witchy!! Playlists!! Seriously, get jammin’.
Star a grimoire or bos! It can be a word doc, tumblr blog, or an actual notebook. Whatever works best for you. ✨
Meditate! In the shower, on the way to class, when you wake up, when you’re making breakfast, whenever. Find a few minutes a day when you’re by yourself and focus on calming your thoughts.
Use ambient videos on youtube to help ground you and feel more connected to your craft. Basic ambiance w/moving video links: Forest w/waterfall, Woodland, Night, Ocean, Rain & fireplace, Nighttime train ride, Sunrise, Wheat field, River, Campfire, Swamp, Snow
Wear colors that correspond with your magical needs.
Hide your pendulum as your necklace or just use your favorite necklace as a pendulum!
Look on amazon, clearance racks, and thrift stores for tapestries and blankets to hang up that make you feel witchy! 
Wear scented oils ~ different intentions for different days
Pls love yourself and remember I’m sending you so much love
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cosmicdreamt · 5 years ago
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[[ whheeeww so it’s that time of the month for me and while refilling neff’s queue i came across some old stuff and I just......wanna air somethings out. Putting it under a read more cause it can be a lil negative and a little personal and VERY long. I usually don’t like putting this stuff on my blog here but it can affect those I’m interacting with so just.....if you’re in a well enough mindset to read please do so. Otherwise don’t worry about it and no worries! ]]
[[ So while going through my archive to fill the queue as I mentioned, I saw threads and posts from people I no longer talk to/associate with and it just.....really made me think about a lot. Now I’m going to preface this by saying in the past I DID expect a lot out of people. There were times I was being A Lot/Too Much and I’m not going to admit like I couldn’t have handled things better.
However with this person in particular I have literally no idea what I did that made them ghost/cut ties with me. I thought I was being logical, helpful, and supportive, but I literally got left in the dust with no idea why, ESPECIALLY because this person had told me they appreciated me and our friendship and wanted to be a better friend to me.
And they were not the only person who did that. I’ve had quite a few people feed me those same words only to literally ignore me for weeks and months on end, for me to not hear from them unless I messaged first and even then not always getting a reply. Now, this isn’t about valid reasons like medical issues or low energy/spoons. This is literally a case of ‘this silence has gone on for much longer than reasonable with no communication as to why and I’m starting to feel like I did something wrong’. And then when approached I would get the “It’s not you it’s me and I’ll do better” answer only for that to....not happen.
So there are a few things I’d like to say. If it IS me, PLEASE don’t be afraid to tell me I’m being too much or coming on too strong. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or like they’re obligated to be social with me. Communicate with me. Please don’t lie to me and say you like having me around and then make me feel like my efforts to communicate/be a friend are wasted because I’m seeing posts about other people and things going on constantly while I’m sitting on radio silence. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt because I know sometimes things happen beyond our control. Maybe someone is busy or they didn’t get notified of my message or they need some space/can only deal with a close circle. But when I’ve said before it goes on for weeks and months......it’s disheartening. 
If I make an effort to talk to you and engage with you it’s not just to do so. Some of you may have seen me message multiple times a day and then go silent for days on end. Some of you may only get me talking about the same thing all the time. It’s because I want to talk and socialize with people but I’m not sure what exactly to talk about and it may be the only thing I know of that we can bond on. But at the same time I don’t want to be annoying and overwhelming so I distance myself if I start to feel like I’m doing that (even if it’s not the case!). While I don’t mind just being a mutual to interact with, I do genuinely want to get to know the people behind the muses too. We don’t have to be best friends or even friends. The casual conversation here and there is fine. I just don’t want to be a number. I follow to interact, ESPECIALLY if we’re mutuals.
That said I’m very serious about the relationships Neff makes as well. That’s not to say DON’T INTERACT UNLESS YOU PLAN ON THEM BEING BESTEST FRIENDS EVER. I have mutuals where we’ve traded few words both ic and ooc and this is not about getting more interaction from them. Things like that can’t be forced and if there comes a time where something bigger happens then it happens! Until then I’m happy just seeing y’all around and thank you for even the smallest time you’ve given me.  I mean in terms of interaction enough to develop something. I’ve had people in the past get me invested in a friendship/romantic ship only for it to get pushed aside or ignored. Again, this is not about valid reasons like not having the muse or energy. I mean someone coming to me and we go through a whole talk together, going from engaged interaction to my attempts being flat out ignored for others CONSISTENTLY. I’m aware tumblr has a habit of eating asks/not notifying people/and sometimes people are selective with what they want to answer. This is literally every time I sent something in it wasn’t responded to and me asking if they got anything was left unresponded to as well. If I seem like I’m over explaining please forgive me, I just want to make sure I’m being as clear as possible in my feelings of what upset me because I’ve been gaslighted many times before, told I was being unreasonable when I was, in fact, being reasonable. 
I’m sure reading this may turn a lot of you away and that’s okay. I’d rather you all be comfortable with who you’re interacting with and there’s no hard feelings. Some of you may understand and have also been through what I have. You have full permission to come rant to me about it. All I hope is that this explains my behavior at times.
I just want to end this thanking you. Thank you for taking time out of your day tor read this, thank you for all the times you’ve liked a post, sent in a meme, responded to an ask or an IM. None of you owe me anything so the fact that you’re willing to give me even the smallest is appreciative. I hope I worded this as properly as possible. I’m bitter from these past experiences but don’t want to come across like I’m blaming any of you.
I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. Take care of yourselves <3 ]]
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jewpacabruhs · 5 years ago
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hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)
(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)
alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.
with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.
and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.
forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.
everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.
and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.
and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 
and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?
and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 
that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.
idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.
but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.
i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 
tl;dr
so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 
i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.
i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  
thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 
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sworntoprotect · 4 years ago
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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.
fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent (the mere existence of a post-canon verse is diverging from canon) / fandomless / complicated
Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. He started off as a tertiary character in the mage origin/Broken Circle quest in DAO, then ended up becoming something of a staple tertiary/secondary character in DA2 and DAI.
Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. I’m not entirely sure how people feel about DAO Cullen’s appearance but DA2 and onwards he got himself a glow-up and an unwitting thirst trap reputation. What made ramen boy appealing in DAO for some is that if you played a female mage Warden, he’s “the one who got away”... because he literally booked it down the corridor if you got too flirty.
Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Perhaps? If you take a stroll through his tag, despite being a Templar, he’s not often portrayed as someone who’s fighting (*winkwonk*).
Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. Some in the fandom might even call him overrated, depending on who you ask. 
Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. In DAO he begs for you to kill all the remaining mages in the Circle Tower, and you can accept or decline to do so. In DA2 he solicits a few quests and eventually sides with you to defeat Meredith. In DAI he’s the Commander of the Inquisition and a vital part of the war council. Overall, he’s there to provide a pro-Templar outlook for the character. 
Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. He’s met every game protagonist thus far and had some level of personal/professional relationship with them. 
Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. In DAO he was a newly minted Templar. DA2 he was elevated to Knight-Captain very quickly which got his name floating around Kirkwall, and of course by DAI he’s the head of the Inquisition’s forces so he’s even more well-known throughout (at the least) Ferelden and Orlais.
How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Both. The common people and fellow Templars would look up to him, whereas mages and pro-mage sympathisers would absolutely have an issue with the role he’s played over the years.
How strictly do you follow canon? — As closely as I can, without lingering too deeply into the “problematic views” part of his character. I don’t seek to erase them or ignore them, and I don’t have too much issue writing them for the sake of being genuine, but I also don’t want to write him as if he’s some mustache-twirling villain because he is not. 
SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Since he was 18 years old, Cullen has suffered and struggled through adversity after adversity (torture, sexual assault, brainwashing, night terrors, drug abuse, and a healthy spoonful of “all my friends are dead”), and yet maintained a soft heart underneath the steel wall of being a warrior. His goal since childhood has been to serve and to protect, and his self-awareness, loyalty, intelligence, and drive to make himself a better and more caring man is what sets him apart from others of his ilk who in his shoes would’ve broken a long, long time ago.
Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — He’s a man who’s allowed atrocities to occur by not standing up to speak against them, has perpetuated the cycle of mage abuse by the hands of others, can be callous, closed-minded, and aggressive, and has a strong prejudice against mages that wasn’t properly resolved in his “redemption” arc – nor was his lyrium addiction/withdrawal.
What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  He’s the type of muse I gravitate towards: bookish, devoted, protective, a softy under all the stone, endearingly awkward. More than that, though, his story intrigues me. Cullen has gone through a lot (he’s either the luckiest or unluckiest person) and watching his trajectory throughout the series has been really interesting. I’d like to provide him proper growth and development that he wasn’t entirely given in the games, or that wasn’t explicitly shown.
What keeps your inspiration going?  —  My amazing roleplay partners with all the good work they put into their characters and the love they have shown me and my character so far. I love you guys <3  (<-- keeping that answer bc agreed)
Some more personal questions for the mun.
Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.
Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok. Still, I would love to have more feedback to see how i can improve even more. (<-- keeping bc agreed)
Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF I write quite a few of them that never see the light of day, and I constantly and randomly sling little thoughts at my rp partners as they come to me. As for this blog itself, I’d prefer to have my headcanons evident in my writing, so I don’t post things about Cullen’s favourite colour or what he likes to eat for supper every night (and that’s absolutely no shade to people who do post headcanons that way; I honestly wish I operated the same way lol)
Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. There’s a few on the blog already, hidden in plain sight.
Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. Even when I don’t want to think about him, I end up thinking about him. But I like thinking about him, so...
Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? I’m still fairly new to the fandom and I’ve been learning a lot about Cullen, what people think about Cullen, what Cullen thinks about himself and others, etc. etc. Plus there are other, more well-established blogs for him out there. I’m honestly surprised I got more than 20 followers tbh.
Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. I'm my own worst enemy with this one. Like, I know I’m alright but I’m not good enough for myself.
Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA. Some things do bother me a lot more than others, but any annoyance I feel is pretty quickly done after I vent about it. Then I typically forget after a while.
Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I’m always open to constructive criticism that both highlights what I’m doing well and considerately points out what I could improve upon. 
Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — Of course! I enjoy delving into his character and wondering the “what ifs” of various situations that may or may not occur. And if we can write it together in a thread? Even better!
If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  No one owes me an explanation as to why they have an opinion, but yes I would like to know why. Maybe I misinterpreted something, or overlooked something. Maybe I made a mistake. I’m human. It happens.
If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.
If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — It only bothers me if it’s directed at me. I fully acknowledge that Cullen is controversial and has a very contentious past (or present) that rubs a good amount of people the wrong way. You don’t have to like him, but I do take some issue with people purposely twisting facts to make him out to be worse than what he actually is. I’ve considered writing a post about it truthfully but I don’t want that unbridled hatred to come to my doorstep if/when someone who’s not a fan of him reads it. It’s not worth it. Might do it anyway though. I don’t know.
Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  — Please do. Politely. English is my native language but I’m still out here making mistakes. smh @ myself
Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I’d like to think so, yes. I have a very high tolerance level for a lot of things, don’t get easily triggered, and I’m always willing to chat about character stuff or irl stuff or... anything, basically. 
tagged by: @orsino-the-enchanter tagging: did you read this? then it’s you
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lunerbean · 6 years ago
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Witch Tips 14
Hello and welcome to the latest of my #10tips series, where I post 10 witchcraft related tips for every 100 (originally 10 and then 50 and now 100) followers that this blog gains. These happen because of how incredible all of you are so if you want to join my witchy family, know that the next 10 tips came out because you made that happen. Thank you. I appreciate you and adore you all.
1. Seal your spell jars with magick
Sealing is more than just putting a lid on something. To seal a jar (or spell or charm etc) is to put a metaphorical stamp of completion on something. This signifies that the spell is complete and the thing you are charming can no longer be influenced by undesired intentions. This easiest way to do this is to take your wand and tap it three times on the object being sealed. If you're charming a drink or potion, you can also do this with a spoon or stirring device.
2. It's okay to be selfish - you can't heal others when you are hurting
I personally struggle with this a lot. I want to help others before I help myself and while that's not always a bad thing, it can have a negative effect on your magick. For example, if you're trying to help your friend heal from a recent heartbreak, when you're the one who hurt them, there's too many heavy emotions in the way. I'm going to share a very personal story, you don't have to read it if you feel it will be upsetting or uncomfortable for you. I'm going to be a little vague about the timeline because I know some of you personally and I don't want your opinion on the person involved to be effected by my side of the story. I was dating a fellow witch and they did something to me that some would say was unforgivable. I kind of thought it was. They took something from me that I couldn't afford to give. But had they asked first, I probably would have worked out a deal that would make them happy. It was when I was already in a very bad situation and going through a terrible time. They stole from me and they let me panic and think it was someone else. When they eventually told me the truth, I was devastated. They tried to do a spell to make me feel happy again, but it backfired because they were also in pain from what they had done. There were negative emotions fueling a positive spell done for someone who was feeling negative emotions towards the caster. Long story short: Heal yourself first. And sometimes, that healing isn't always going to be through witchcraft as well.
3. Put binding spells on things you often lose
Binding spells are usually associated with hexes and curses, but they dont always have to be! Bind your wallet to you so that you don't lose it on a night out. Bind your glasses to you so that you don't forget where you've placed them. Bind your socks to each other so that you always have the pair. I've never tried that one, because I don't care about mismatched socks, but I figure it'd be effective for someone who does. Note: you can't bind something that's already lost. Keep that in mind if you're looking for that other sock.
4. When banishing, don't forget to also call forth
If you're going to banish, say for example, negative energy from your home, it's important to also call forth to positive energy to enter in it's place. It's a simple extra step to take in order to get the best results from your spell. Whatever you're banishing, call something forth in exchange.
5. Make an emergency kit for when things go wrong
Sometimes, things go wrong when you're practicing witchcraft. Think of this as an emergency first aid kit for witchcraft. You can put it in a shoebox, a wicker basket, a brief case, whatever you want. Here are some things you may want to include
Sage
Sandalwood incense
An empty jar
A lighter
Burn cream
Parchment paper (use with an iron to removed spilled candle wax from cloth)
Leave other ideas in the comments
6. Reuse your old candle wax
Sometimes, big candles don't burn evenly or small candles leave piles of wax underneath them. There are plenty of ways to reuse and recycle this wax! When I used wax melters, I used to heat up the old wax and make wax sculptures out of it. You can make anything you want, including things for shrines or altars! Recently, I met a lovely local candle maker who gives you discounts on her already inexpensive candles in exchange for used wax. So I'm going to go to her the next time I burn out a candle. You can also stick smaller candles into the holes of old burned out candles to create some cool art.
7. Use pendulums to talk to your plants
Sometimes, it's unclear what your plants are trying to tell you. You can use your pendulum next to your plants and ask it questions about what the plants need. You can also find out if a plant is dying to protect you from a curse by asking the pendulum about it.
8. You can use tarot cards for more than just divination
You can use tarot cards in spells and other things as well, but today I want to talk about reflection spreads. Reflection spreads are used for looking back on something and learning from it. For example, you can do a spread for reflection of the past month, day, week, year, etc. And look back on what you've done and what you can learn from it as well as what you can do in the future to thrive under similar circumstances.
9. Bring 'offerings' when visiting your fellow witches
While this totally isn't necessary, it is quite fun and nice to do. I like to bring my fellow witches little gifts when I visit them. This can be anything; a cool rock you found on the way there, a crystal from your local shop, a stick of incense from your latest batch, a nice potion you made just for them, etc. Since I live near the coast and a lot of my witch friends live in the desert, I like to give them sea shells and things they can't get in their area. I bring offerings to my fellow witches for many reasons. Most importantly, it's a kind gesture and it makes them feel good to know I thought of them. It's also for their own confidence in witchcraft. Giving a witch an offering upon entering their home is a sign of respect for them as a person and as a witch.
10. Cleanse everything after spirit work
Working with spirits can be fun and safe if done correctly. But even if you only use spirit work to communicate with dead loved ones that you miss, you should still cleanse all of your tools afterwords. Spirits can latch onto things, hide inside small places, and if you've invited someone through from the spirit world, chances are they didn't come alone. The spirits that you're working with may not even notice the others sneaking through with them. Be safe and cleanse everything that a spirit could attach themselves to.
Thank you so much for reading my latest #10tips. If you search that tag on my blog, you'll find the previous 13 that I've posted. Enjoy! And have a magical day.
And as always, please send me an ask if you've ever got questions or need someone to talk to or share good news with! My inbox is always open 💜
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georgialouisea · 6 years ago
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Meant To Be - Part 12
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Pairing - Jared x Reader, Jensen x Sister Reader. Word count - 1.2k. Warnings - Fluff, sickness, swearing, fighting.
Part 11 - Series Masterlist
“I don’t like leaving you like this.” Jared sighed pulling on a shirt he started to button it.
“I’ll be fine, go to work.”
Jared’s hand rested on your back as your stomach rolled. “You literally have your head over the toilet.”
“Jare, I’m fine.”
“You’re obviously not, I’m staying home, you’ve been like this for days and you’re only gettin’ worse.” His fingertips brushed stray hairs out of your face.
Sitting up you slumped against the tiled wall. “I’m gonna be okay.”
“You’re not and we’re not arguing about this again, I’m staying home, we’re getting you seen by someone and you’re resting up.”
“Jensen’s gonna hate me.” Groaning you closed your eyes.
“Jensen doesn’t know you’re sick and the second he knows he’ll be round here with chicken noodle soup.”
The mention of food had your stomach rolling again, Jared’s hand ran up and down your back. “It’s okay, I’m here.” When you stopped throwing up he gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You good?” He asked when you nodded he gently picked you up off the floor and carried you to bed, tucking you in his palm cupped your cheek as he leaned down kissing your forehead. “You need anything you shout okay?”
-
Opening your eyes Jared smiled down at you. “Hey, how’re you feeling?” He asked putting the book he was reading down on his nightstand.
“Like crap.”
“You need anything? There’s a glass of water on the nightstand.”
“To not feel like crap anymore.”
“You don’t feel any better at all?”
“No.”
“I, erm… I’ve talked to the Doctor.”
“And?”
“She wants you to do a pregnancy test just to rule it out.” Jared couldn’t quite look you in the eye as he spoke. “I went out while you were asleep and got one.”
“Okay…”
“Do you… do you want to do it now?” He gave your thigh a small squeeze.
“Yeah, okay, can we wait till the room stops spinning though?”
“Of course we can.” His fingers ran through your hair as you squeezed your eyes closed.
-
The glass in your hand became too heavy to keep holding as your hand began to shake, Jared’s hand covered yours taking the glass from you. “We’re gonna be okay you know, whatever the result is we’ll be okay.”
“I know.” Smiling up at him you glanced down at the test.
“Go on.” Jared nodded at you.
“Why me?”
“I thought you’d want to.”
Shaking your head you watched him reach out for the test as you suppress the urge to throw up. Jared turned it over before his eyes met yours, his expression you couldn’t read, his hand gave yours a small squeeze.
“And?”
“You’re not pregnant, well this says you’re not.”
“So I’m just sick then, you need to get away from me before I make you sick.” Pushing at his shoulder you slumped back in bed trying to hide the fact you were genuinely disappointed that the test wasn’t positive.
“She said if you’re not pregnant, well if the test comes back negative, it’s probably just a sickness bug, if you’re no better by Friday she’ll come out and visit you, run some tests.”
“Does that mean I can sleep?”
“Of course you can, try and sleep it off.” Pulling your hand to his lips he kissed your knuckles. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
-
A huge bang woke you up, getting out of bed you opened your bedroom door walking towards the noise, one in the lounge you looked up to see your brother pinning your boyfriend to the wall with his forearm across his throat. “Are you fucking kidding me? I swear if you-”
“Jensen! Stop it! What the hell is wrong with you?” Jensen’s hands dropped from your boyfriend.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?” You asked pulling the cardigan tighter around your waist.
“That you’re pregnant.”
Sitting down on the couch you squeezed your eyes shut when the room started to spin. “Jense, I’m not, I’m just sick.”
“Are you okay?” Jared knelt in front of you his hand resting on your thigh.
Opening your eyes you looked down at him giving him a small nod.
“So why is there a test on the counter?”
“The Doctor wanted to be sure, Jensen you can’t react like that either, I’m with Jared this is our life you can’t threaten him not to get me pregnant.”
“I can try.” He grumbled.
“Yeah, you keep trying that Jense.”
“I will.”
“Why do you now have a problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Sure you don’t, baby can I talk to Jensen alone for a minute?” Jared shrugged disappearing into the bedroom rubbing at his neck as he went, leaving you alone with your brother.
“I’m sorry.” Jensen sighed sitting down next to you. “I overreacted.”
“Why’d you freak?”
“I didn’t freak.”
“You had my boyfriend up against a wall, what’s going on?”
“This is real, you and Jared you’re serious about each other.”
“Of course we are.”
“You’re really going to end up marrying and having kids with him.”
“I’m a grown-up Jesne, that’s what grown-ups do when they love each other.”
“I know, you’re still my baby sister and I just saw red, I’m really sorry, won’t happen when you tell me you’re really pregnant.”
“It’s fine, go apologise to Jared.” Patting his leg he got up in search of your boyfriend. After a few minutes, they walked out of your bedroom seeming to have made up.
Jensen sat down opposite you. “I love you but you look like shit.”
“Thanks.” Resting your head on a pillow you didn’t even fight Jared as he moved the pillow onto his lap, his fingertips gently running through your hair.
“Go to sleep,” Jared mumbled.
Closing your eyes you didn’t even fight to stay awake as you fell asleep in his lap.
-
You woke up to a delicious smell filling the apartment, opening your eyes Jared was stood at the stove stirring whatever was in the pot. Sitting up slowly you waited for your stomach to churn when it didn’t you let out a sigh.
Turning to face you he smiled at you. “You’re awake! I’m heating up some soup, Jensen went out to get it.”
“He did?”
“Yep, how’re you feeling?”
“Better, I think.”
Serving up the soup he walked towards you with the bowl. “You hungry?”
“I kind of am.” Taking the bowl from him you were surprised when your stomach didn’t roll. “I actually think I’m going to be able to eat this.”
“Good.” Jared smiled at you watching you have the first spoonful before he turned back to the kitchen to make his own dinner.
-
Waking up without Jared in bed he’d left a note on his pillow with your name scrawled across it.
‘Baby,
I had to go to work, I’ll be back at lunch with more soup, or whatever you want (text me). You look better this morning, call me when you’re awake. Try and sleep it off the Doctor’s number is on a note in the kitchen if you feel worse.
I love you and I’ll see you at lunch.
J x x x’
Walking into the bathroom you looked at yourself in the mirror, dark circles under your eyes, you were pale as a sheet and your hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in a month. This is what Jared had been looking at for the better part of a week, and if this was ‘better’ you dreaded to think what you looked like before.
Jared Padalecki was an angel.
Forever Taglist - 
@mega-loser1298 @smalltowndivaj @roxyspearing @emoryhemsworth @dwgrl1903 @cassieraider @mirandaaustin93 @mogaruke @heyitscam99 @mouselovesmusic @supernaturaldean67 @atc74 @witchofenoch @malindacath @skathan-omaha @ain-t-bovvered @beffyblueeyes @unicorn-sparkles123 @serienjunkiegirl @jchona @polina-93 @thefangirlliveson @rhochradel @juanitadiann @amandamdiehl @dixonsunicorn @deanzeppeloin @katieelementarymydearwatsonme @atlas-of-the-world @chelsea072498 @dean-winchesters-bacon @racheo91 @mrswhozeewhatsis @death-unbecomes-you @brewsthespirit-blog @shann-the-artist-moon @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @claitynroberts @spnwoman @angelsandwinchesters @smoothdogsgirl @cdwmtjb8 @perkypolarbear @thisismysecrethappyplace @tatertot1097 @jessieray98 @starfirerules @kcrews74 @calaofnoldor @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @screechingartisancashbailiff @malindacath @kolelondon24 @mariekoukie6661 @natura1phenomenon @thehufflepuffblog @lemondropirwin @babypink224221 @mymysosa @blackcherrywhiskey @lonely-skys @titty-teetee @foreverwayward @81mysteriouslyme @x-waywardaf-x @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog @paintballkid711 @sandlee44 @deanwinchesterswitch @supernatural-harrypotter7
Meant to be -
@gh0stgurl @witch-of-letters @oneshoeshort @samuelwillliamwinchester @love-nakamura @spn-obession @holylulusworld @wayward-gypsy @heythereamigodude @rainbowkisses31 @deangirl7695 @traceyaudette @winchesterprincessbride @vickiq9761 @cdwmtjb8 @samsgirl93 @love-my-not-natural-babies @gloriousartisanfancreator @me-han10 @pretty-fortune @jamielea81 @the-is13 @kit-kat-katie99 @imaginationisgrowth @bitchwhytho @deansgirl79 @anushay1998 @lauravic @queensavage64
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btsybrkr · 5 years ago
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Here’s A List Of Things I Hate
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I've reached something of a mental block recently when it comes to writing. I think it's because, despite sometimes coming off like I'm mocking things or just being a general smart-arse, I usually write about things I genuinely love. I love The Apprentice. I love Come Dine With Me. I love the idea that the Saturday night schedule, currently occupied on ITV1 by The Masked Singer - a horrifying cross between The Voice and a recurring nightmare I had between the ages of 6 and 8 - might one day be livened up by a post-apocalyptic The X Factor-style talent show in which we choose the next Prime Minister from a roster of Average Joe’s that just feel like giving it a bash.
I usually have lots to say about things I love, but recently, for some reason, I’m struggling to even think of anything that I love enough to write about. Maybe I’m being dragged down by the fact that this January alone seemed to last three long months, or perhaps because January itself included ‘Blue Monday’, the so-called ‘most miserable day of the year’. Maybe it's neither of things, maybe I’m just suffering from a bad case of The Realisation That We And Everything That We Do Are All, In The End, Meaningless, And That Every Day, We Are Collectively Hurtling Closer And Closer Towards The Endless Void And There Is Nothing That Any Of Us Can Do To Stop It. There's probably a snappier name for that, but you know what I mean. In any case, I’m just finding it much easier to think about things I hate recently.
Anyway, what do we do with these feelings of negativity to get rid of them once and for all? We express them. So, for anyone willing to read it, here’s a list of things I hate.
Stephen Mulhern
ITV mainstay Stephen Mulhern arguably belongs on television - not for any positive reason, just because it’s only the barrier of television between him and the viewer that allows him to appear as a cheerful friendly presence, rather than an insufferable know-it-all prick, whose repeated condescending glances to the camera during interviews with rejected Britain’s Got Talent contestants just wouldn’t fly in real life. I mean, really, imagine you were having a conversation with someone, and they reacted to something you said by looking off into the distance, à la Fleabag, with an expression that quite clearly reads “This person is an idiot!! Laugh, everyone!! Laugh at the idiot!!” You know what, Stephen? You’re the idiot. But I won’t laugh at you, because then you might think that you’re funny, and I’m just not having that.
Coleslaw
I saw a tweet years ago that said “what was the first person to milk a cow thinking?”, and honestly, it raises a very good question. I can only imagine that there was some perverted ulterior motives at play, for someone to not only milk the cow’s udders in the first place, but then to drink it, at a time when that just wasn’t done. They must have been a pretty nefarious character, it almost doesn’t bear thinking about. Instead, I’d like to question the motives of the even dodgier character who first looked at grated carrots, cabbage and onions, and thought ‘You know what might really tie these bland individual tastes together? Mayonnaise. A fuckload of it.’
You know what, though? It's not the existence of coleslaw that confuses me the most about it - it's the popularity of it. It has pride of place on the table at every family buffet, it’s disappointingly included in otherwise-appealing wraps in the Boots meal deal fridge, and it's an option on the menu in a shocking majority of takeaways, despite the fact that nobody has ever emerged, staggering and bleary-eyed from Walkabout at 3:30am and thought ‘I could absolutely murder some coleslaw’. Most annoying of all is the way some restaurants chuck a bit of paprika in the mix and use it as an excuse to rename it ‘POW POW GROOVY SLAW’, or something equally ridiculous. Why are we trying to sex up a bowl of vegetables covered in mayonnaise? I can't think of anything less sexy, and I don't particularly want to try.
Let's face it, coleslaw has long overstayed its welcome. It's the last stubborn hanger-on from the pages of stomach-churning 1970s dinner party cookbooks (probably found somewhere between the recipes for spinach and tuna pie and a boiled, unglazed joint of ham suspended in gelatine), and it's time we admitted that and stage a renaissance for the real king of the veg/mayo combo. Rise, Sir Potato Salad - your rule has begun.
Facebook
I recently deleted Facebook off my phone, and immediately noticed an improvement in the overall quality of my life. I promise I don’t mean this in the typical ‘phone bad, book good’ way that fake-’woke’ holier-than-thou characters preach about (usually on Facebook itself, ironically). I still happily waste away hours of my life on Twitter, and Instagram, the latter of which arguably has the most negative influence on my brain out of all the social networks. The thing with Facebook is that it doesn’t necessarily have a negative influence on my brain, so much as it has no influence on any part of me whatsoever. Facebook is a vacuum. It's completely, entirely pointless. In fact, it’s where ‘point’ itself goes to die.
Considering there’s probably no two Facebook users out there with the exact same friends list, I'm willing to bet that everybody’s News Feed looks eerily similar. Every scroll through is the same - a former workmate announcing a pregnancy, someone you forgot about from school sharing a vague, ‘deep’ quote about their hurt feelings, an elderly relative you didn't realise was racist until literally right now, when they began sharing posts from a page eloquently titled ‘MUSLIMS!! it is TIME to go HOME so we can have BRITAIN BACK’, or something along those lines. If you ever have nothing better to do - although, I'm sure there is always something, anything, better to do - just set a timer, open up Facebook, and see how long it takes before you come across a single thing that genuinely resonates with you in any positive way at all. I just redownloaded Facebook to try it for myself, and it took me 46 minutes.
Sound like a lie? Well, to be fair, it is. But there's more truth in that than almost anything you'll see on Facebook.
Those Slush Puppy Straws With Tiny Spoons On The End
Plastic straws are on their way out, and quite rightly. The Sea Turtle Conservancy estimate that around half the world’s sea turtles have ingested plastic, and straws are believed to have accounted for a lot of that. With everything you read or learn about the effect of straws on the environment, it's surprising that it's taken this long for us to do something about it.
With that said, it's not just the turtles that are benefitting from the rise of the paper straw - I'm pretty pleased about it as well. Why? Because using paper instead of plastic might mean that we stop manufacturing those evil straws with tiny spoons on the end of them.
Yes, evil. How many times have you been enjoying a Slush Puppy on a hot summer’s day, only to realise you can't get to the bits at the bottom of the cup, because your straw inexplicably has a spoon on the end of it. What's that for? A Slush Puppy is a drink, and spoons are for eating things with. “It's for eating the delicious bits of vaguely-flavoured ice after you've sucked up all the syrup”, you might say, but then why? Mojitos are made with crushed ice, but you wouldn't go up to the barman and go "excuse me, mate, you forgot to give me a spoon so I could eat all these delicious bits of vaguely-minty ice", would you?
Anyway, you can't suck up all the syrup in the first place when the bottom of your straw just isn't a straw. This a problem we usually solve by holding the cup above our mouths and giving the bottom of the cup a gentle tap, usually sending the rest of it falling out of the cup and all over your face, shirt, anywhere but your mouth, faster than you can say “I can't believe I’m 23 years old and writing an angry blog about straws with tiny spoons on the end”. Another solution we often resort to is turning the straw upside down, which, in my experience, always leads to cutting the roof of your mouth on the tiny spoon that you were never going to use in the first place. No wonder it took us so long to show a bit of sympathy for the turtles - we've been ignoring our own straw-related injuries for years, probably just because we think it makes us look hard.
As far as I'm concerned, spoons are for food, and straws are for liquids. That's why, whenever I order soup in a café, I always ask for a straw. Yes, I get looks from the other customers, but I'm sure they aren't looks of amusement or confusion - everyone else just wishes they'd thought of it first.
Ladybirds
Ladybirds aren't cute. They are not ‘nice’ bugs. They are beetles, in a quirky disguise, who can also fly. With all that in mind, why are we taught to like them? Why do people spot one land on your clothes, or in your hair, and cheerfully announce “oh, there’s a ladybird on you!”, as if you’ve somehow been chosen by the ladybird and should feel honoured. Get it off me now, because I don’t know what it’s going to do! Don’t tell me that it’s ‘harmless’ and that I’m ‘overreacting’. We thought that cigarettes were ‘harmless’ before the mid-60s, cheerfully puffing our way through life, with one in each hand at any given moment, as we watched our darling babies speak their first words, which were usually something along the lines of “alright, mate, 20 Sterling Dual, please” - but then we learned. We learned that they weren’t as harmless as we first thought. And believe me when I tell you that, one day, we’ll reach the same conclusion about ladybirds. Just as soon as we find out exactly what they’re planning.
In fact, where have they gone? I haven’t seen one for a good while. Surely, they’re holed up in a specially designed lair somewhere, millions of them, carefully planning their next move in their efforts to overthrow the human race. Planning and watching. We may not be able to see them, but I’m willing to bet they have eyes on us. You know when you’re alone and you get the feeling there’s something or someone else present? It’s ladybirds. I’m sure of it. We need to watch our backs.
I’m not really sure where my fear of ladybirds has come from. Perhaps it’s down to a dream I’ve been having at least three times a year since I was a teenager, in which I’m leaving my Nan’s house and spot a ladybird the size of a Golden Retriever out in the alleyway, just sitting there, still and silent. I run around the corner to one of my friend’s houses, to warn him of the arrival of our ladybird overlords, but the entire front of his house is covered in millions of the things. I shout his name, up at an open window, and he replies that he’s coming down to open the door to me, but when he does, it isn’t him at all - it’s just a 6ft tall ladybird. I usually wake up in a cold sweat at that point, but when I try to go back to sleep, I can feel them crawling all over me.
I know I sound insane, but I promise you, I’m not - I just don't trust them, and I think that’s understandable.
Hate
If there's one thing I hate more than all the above, it's the very concept of hate itself. I don't just mean in a political or universal sense - although, I do agree the world might be a far better place if we all just hated each other a little bit less - hate has an effect on all our personal lives, too.
I'm really trying to make the most of my early twenties, and that means conserving what little energy I have left after I'm done working, drinking, and crying - just the usual daily activities that we all partake in - to be a little more productive. I can't be using that energy up on hate. In fact, in a scientific study that I've literally just made up, it was found that feeling hatred for even one fifth of a second uses up three times as much mental and physical energy as smiling at sixteen angry strangers, half of which are making fists at you. You can't argue with those sorts of statistics.
Anyway, I'm hoping to return to talking about things that make me feel a little more positive next time, because, besides anything, it's just nice to be nice, isn't it?
Not to Stephen Mulhern, though. He needs to learn his lesson.
If you like seeing me talking shit, but would rather it wasn't so bloody long, you can follow me on twitter here.
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stevenuniversequartz · 5 years ago
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WELP since my ex-“friend” and their cronies decided to do  call-out posts for us, I think it’s only fair I get to defend myself against what they’ve said of me and my fiancee. @bi--logical @moicrosoft and here’s the link to this person I don’t even know trying to call us out (also hint I’m only 5 and a half years older than Elliot.)
I’m done showing courtesy just to get walked all over.
First off, there was never blackmail. We wrote to say we’d have to speak to their parents because, despite how mad we were at the time (and rightfully so), we were concerned about their actions and the way that they treat others as well as the way they treat themselves. We were mostly very concerned because they have talked about suicide before (this isn’t revealing anything bc they talk about it on their blog.) We genuinely worried since we never got a response and there was not much posting on their blog, that something bad had happened. I was terrified my friend (no matter how much they hurt me) had committed suicide. I’ve done nothing but care for them for YEARS. I don’t think they ever appreciated our friendship, that’s very apparent now.
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Second, they actually have been racist over the years but dismissed it as part of their mental illnesses. They also have been DIRECTLY antisemitic to Dana (and me too, but that’s less important I guess.) The racism never stopped either, despite them often saying they would work it out in therapy. There’s one moment in particular of antisemitism, where they tried to call us out for saying that anyone who isn’t Jewish can be antisemitic. They said we were being racist for calling out a church with black members for their hateful words. I can’t even begin to understand the logic there. We never said anything about skin color, only calling out hateful attacks against us as jews. Specifically, multiple members of the said church approached us in a public space and made antisemitic comments to us in public. All while still trying to convert us to Christianity. The first thing Elliot said was “well were they black?” as if trying to cause confrontation. To me, when my safety is in jeopardy, I’m not going to take the time to consider how racism affects someone who is threatening me. Not to mention, they have also made antisemitic comments to Dana’s face (one of which is referenced in the letter we wrote them).
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Third, how is an emerging adult even a thing??? You know what I went through at 18? Developing an extreme case of PTSD and I had to grow up real fucking fast. Almost all child abuse survivors can tell you they had to also grow up fast too. I thought they would understand this as they say they’ve gone through abuse and understand why making claims of “emerging adult” would be so damn hurtful to us both. (it’s literally asking to be treated as an adult without any of the responsibility that has to come with it) Or, I guess, maybe the point was to hurt us? At this point, I can’t tell.
Fourth, it was never about being a bad houseguest. It was about treating two trauma and abuse survivors home and possessions badly. I know our place is messy, but treating items like they don’t matter to people like us cuts us down to our very core. One item, in fact, was a gift from Dana’s grandma who has since passed. It was treating us like the things we washed and cleaned for them to be here didn’t matter at all. We’re both disabled and it takes a lot of spoons to have someone over like that.
 Also as for the fight they talked about, they told me several times they were in the wrong and apologized for it, so not sure how that’s a point to bring up.
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Fifth, the essay was no ambush. We did what “real” adults do in times of confusion and hurt, stepping back to address what happened and then writing a letter to them so they would know how we feel. Honestly, this was treating them gently. I had many opportunities to be petty and angry and go off on them in person. I know they are more fragile for lack of a better word, and I chose to be an adult and take time to think over what was said and done and if I was in the right to say something about it. A lot of the things they did to us and the way they treated us is still affecting us negatively. They left bruises on dana’s arm for fuck's sake, from pulling and gripping so tight when they asked for help. I now still feel afraid to ask my own fiancee for help getting my wheelchair or helping me up the stairs fearing I’d hurt my future wife just like they did (spoiler alert; when I need help I am aware of my own actions and the way I treat dana bc they’re also disabled and helping me bc of the kindness in their heart.)
Sixth, about the “wasting money on us” bit, they told us before the trip that they were bringing hundreds of dollars to spend while here. We explained that we’re 2 broke disabled people and couldn’t spend much on this trip. I also explained I would have less energy to cook every meal for them so we might have to eat out a few times. They also treated my mom like shit when she came over to bring THEM more food. They acted rudely bc my mom was here at 9 pm, the only time she could bring the food over. When we asked them to pitch in the first few times they acted like it was no problem. So, I thought it wouldn’t be a problem for the other things. When it came to gas money and money to take them on activities, we got rolled eyes and angry yesses. We ended up spending our last few hundred dollars on entertaining them. So much so that we couldn’t pay our rent without help or have enough gas money to get back home. Gas money to go to Indiana for them, tickets to things they wanted to do, food and drink when out and about, and gas money to show them the city we live in (which they ignored completely.) Another side note, when we went to Indiana for them, they outed us as gay in front of all their relatives, who clearly didn’t know. I saw the look change in the eyes of their formal paraprofessional to a terrifying hateful look. We had to leave the party early bc we were genuinely terrified if we didn’t that one of their relatives would follow us back to the hotel and hurt us. Other friends and other people have voiced their worry for our safety since it isn’t always safe to be outed as lesbians in such a conservative place like small-town Indiana.
This only is in reply to what they said in their call-out post, but I have a lot more about the way they hurt us. I don’t deserve to keep those feelings bottled up. I don’t deserve having to keep their name private when they publicly talk shit about me. I’ll post more later bc I’m so pissed off now.
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kingofthewilderwest · 6 years ago
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I am being ignored by people in this fandom what should I do? I send people asks and they ignore me. Please help
Hey there, buddy! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having difficulties communicating with other people. Communication can be a difficult and complicated thing! I don’t know your particular situation communicating with other people in the fandom, so I’m going to go through a variety of things, and hope that some of my comments may help below.
Sometimes if people don’t respond, it’s not because you did anything wrong. Sometimes all it will take is a little more waiting. The people we’re talking to on the other end can’t always answer in a timely manner. Some people might not be online often and respond to asks slowly. Some people might be going through irl circumstances that keep them away from the computer. Other people might have a LOT of asks in their inbox and can only respond so fast - what looks like them talking to other people “instead of” you might just be them trying to get through lots of messages and not getting to yours yet. Some people might have accidentally forgotten about your ask in their inbox. Some people might have accidentally lost your ask in the midst of other things in their inbox. Waiting with patience for someone to respond in their appropriate time can sometimes be the solution.
I know one reason people might not respond fast is because they don’t have social energy at the time (if you’re familiar with spoon theory, what I mean is moments when people lack “spoons”). If a person feels socially exhausted - even if they’re online and reblogging things - they won’t have the energy to talk to someone. I have this happen to me a lot and I have to wait to respond at a later time. Sometimes responding to different people event takes a different amount of energy - for some people, it’s less energy to talk to other introverts, or to other people they know, or about certain topics than others. It might look like ignoring on the outside, but once you find out the person’s lack of energy, it turns out that they would like to respond but can’t. I always like to take people with the healthy benefit of the doubt, understanding that there could be many reasons why I haven’t heard from them - not jumping to conclusions it’s because they’re against me in particular. That’s usually not the case. Usually they’re not ignoring me, usually they don’t find anything wrong with me, and usually there’s something going on with their life that means they can’t respond yet.
Other times people might not respond on social media if they’re not familiar with you and/or aren’t comfortable talking to strangers online. Some people may be socially awkward and not know how to respond. Others might not feel gripped with a started conversation online and decide not to respond to your greeting. Some people just might not be interested talking with you. It’s not that they’re necessarily ignoring you, so much as enjoying social media in their own way, and picking-choosing conversations they think might go well. It’s okay not to interact and engage with everyone you come across online. We can’t be forced into every conversation with every person every day every time something happens… we do have the right to be selective in our responses. Not everyone can handle everything thrown at them (it’d be an overwhelming inundation). And no one should be FORCED into a social interaction. Sometimes messaging another person is a hit-or-miss about whether or not they’ll respond - not because they’re ignoring you, but because of what type of interactions that person prefers on social media.
All of this is to say you might not be doing anything wrong and they might not be doing anything wrong! yet. There may (I hope!) be nothing wrong.
Another thing that may be worth considering is analyzing how you come across. Again, I don’t know your situation, but this is something that happens a lot on social media platforms: we mean well when we talk to someone but it “comes out wrong.” If it comes out wrong, we can accidentally make a bad impression that makes people less likely to respond to us. Given that online we’re only talking through text, we lack body language cues and voice cues to let people know how we feel - which means that our words are all the more likely to be misinterpreted or unintentionally “rub wrong” or raise “red flags” to someone else.
Things that might make people uncomfortable with an ask or PM (and thus, they won’t respond) include:
Overly emotional messages. This is especially so for negative emotions, though positive emotions (like being over-the-top sappy) can sound creepy or uncomfortable if written wrong, too. 
Sending too many messages in a short time span and sounding clingy. If someone doesn’t respond and you keep sending more stuff to get them to pay attention to you, that’s stifling and can give some red flag warnings for bad social interactions. That’ll drive them away and they’ll become wary of who you are as a person.
Sharing uncomfortable information that might be TMI. Not everyone is comfortable with all information. Check to see what types of conversations the blogger tends to have before sending messages that might be hard to handle.
Saying something that sounds drama-inducing. People know trolls want to incite others, cause drama, etc. If an ask sounds like it’s poking at sensitive topics or pointing fingers at the community, trying to sew discord in a fandom, people may steer clear of responding to these asks, or may respond to them negatively.
Sending messages from obvious throw-away side blogs you created just for the sake of being anonymous.
Sounding pedantic, cold, or unfeeling. What you might intend as straightforward fact-telling can sometimes sound like talking down. I’ve noticed sentences starting with “Actually,” for instance, tend to come off… wrong. It’s the issue of only having text to work with, not tone of voice.
Sending messages boldly disagreeing with someone else or speaking poorly of something that person loves. That’s ill will to the conversation recipient. It’s hurtful because it’s a conversation insulting what a person enjoys, spoken specifically to the person who likes that thing. They’re not going to want to make conversation with that. (I’m not talking about conversational sharing different opinions or viewpoints, I’m talking about stuff that’s more blunt-on-the-head “I don’t like this”).
This shouldn’t sound like a scary list. I’m not saying that anything you say could be construed wrong. Most messages are going to sound fine, but there are people who may unknowingly write things that fall into these categories and make their recipients uncomfortable. Their messages may be called “troll” messages because they come off so wrong. This is hopefully informative - for people who need it - about what sorts of messages can commonly come off sounding “wrong” in the inbox. We all need a learning curve when it comes with interacting with others, and sometimes how we send asks is part of the learning curve. I had to learn how to interact online myself - I think we’ve all been there at some point in time! And for some people, it’s easier for us to sense how we come off, than it is for others.
If it helps anyone: One way to sense if you’re falling into one or more of these “uncomfortable” categories I listed… is if LOTS of people respond to you in the same non-ideal ways (negatively, hostilely, angrily, not answering you, blocking you, warning others about trolls, etc.). It’s normal to have bad interactions here and there. It’s normal for not-everyone to like you. That’s okay and you’re not a horrible, hated, unloved person - not in the least! You’re beautiful.
One thing I do encourage you, whatever your situation may be, friend, is to not “push it.” As you may already understand, you can’t force people to interact with you. Trying multiple times to the same people to talk to you will dig a deeper hole and make things worse. I encourage a good sense of moderation and consideration for what the other side may feel.
I also encourage you and others to do your best not to worry and not to act on that worry! Sometimes it’s easy to be scared that things are going bad - and then imagination, depression, or anxiety get hold and make you think everything’s much more awful than the situation may actually be. It’s easy to fear a situation is crashing and burning when it’s not that bad in truth. It’s easy for us to think we’re unloved and hated - when in truth, others around us find something to treasure.
And even if things are hard now, that doesn’t mean they’ll always be hard. What might feel like isolation or being ignored now doesn’t mean it’ll always be this way. We can all find ways to interact healthily with the tumblr community. We can make positive connections with others in the fandom! It may take time, but we can all find a happy place in the community. The fandom is full of really cool and friendly people. I bet you’ve got some awesome and cool things about you, too!
Sending you the best of wishes! Take care, friend!
Another post that may be helpful for people going through social media struggles: [here].
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twotwinks · 6 years ago
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benthan for 001, and benji for 002
I hope you realize what you’ve unleashed here- It’s so ungodly long that I’m adding a cut to save your dashes.
001 | Benthan
When I Started Shipping Them
So I went back through my posts because I very vividly remember when I realized I’d fallen for this ship. I first mentioned that I might have started shipping them in the tags of a post on September 15, 2018, and after I acknowledged it, I was sold on it. So I’ve shipped these precious soft boys for just a little shy of two months!
My Thoughts
This is so vague and mean, I don’t even know where to begin… I just… I love them a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever really felt this strongly for a ship before. I mean, I’ve had OTPs before, but never an OTP that actively made me want to rip my heart out because I just can’t handle the emotions it causes, positive or negative. It’s also the first ship I’ve ever written fic for, and it honestly just feels so natural, it’s so easy to write romantic stuff for them and virtually impossible to write something platonic. Plus, without this ship, I never would’ve made any tumblr friends. I’d still just be sitting on the outskirts, randomly reblogging stuff and trying desperately to come up with decent content for my fandom blog. Now I know Ruth and Cassidy and Stanislas and everybody else, and I have so much fun seeing everyone’s posts and participating when I’m brave enough (even though I still sometimes wonder if I fit in, and even if I don’t, I’m just grateful everyone still plays along with me) and honestly it’s one of the brightest parts of my life right now. I see a note or a message or someone tags me in something and sometimes it makes me want to cry because people are thinking about me. So I love this ship even more for that.
What Makes Me Happy About Them
There’s just so much. There’s so much to be happy about them. I love the way they smile at each other. I love how loyal they are to each other. I feel like they fit the “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining” better than anyone else, because they would, they’d do anything for each other. And even if you look at their relationship as platonic, that’s an incredibly strong friendship, and it just warms my heart.
What Makes Me Sad About Them
The fact that one day one of them is probably going to end up dying trying to save the other one. I’d really like for them to leave fieldwork so they can live happy and safe together for the rest of their days, but I know that Ethan would never be able to live like that. Fallout told us that much. And you can bet that as long as Ethan is in the field, Benji’s going to be right by his side.
Things Done in Fanfic that Annoy Me
I dunno, really. Most of the Benthan fic we’ve got is pretty solid. Some of the smut’s a little weak, but I only occasionally venture there, so it’s not too big of a deal. One thing that does sometimes bug me, even though it’s literally the most nonsensical and ridiculous thing to be bothered by, is when they’re referred to as boyfriends or use terms of endearment on each other. I have no idea why it bothers me, it’s such a perfectly reasonable thing!!! I guess maybe I feel like they’ve just been friends with each other for so long and they know each other so well that they wouldn’t bother labeling it. At the end of the day, they’re still just Ethan and Benji, just like they’ve always been. I don’t know. I know it’s stupid, but it can still sometimes throw off the whole vibe of the fic for me. Which is ridiculous. I’m ridiculous.
Things I Look for in Fanfic
Good characterization. That’s such a big thing for me, especially now that Ethan and Benji have been my daydreaming muses for so long now. Their voices are so strong in my head, especially Benji’s. So a fic has to have really good characterization for me to love it. I also really like reading (and writing!) anything that deals with Benji’s trauma and hurt/comfort with Benji as the victim. He just deserves to be taken care of. Poor guy’s earned a hug or ten.
Who I’d be Comfortable Them Ending Up With, If Not Each Other
I suppose I’d be okay if Ethan and Ilsa ended up together. I really don’t want Ilsa to be demoted to the love interest, though. She’s such a good character, and Fallout already did her so dirty. But she’s the only other person I could see Ethan having a chance of being happy with. As for Benji, well… I think I’d just prefer him to stay a Single Pringle. If Ethan (or I!) can’t have him, no one can! I know Benji/Brandt is also a pretty popular ship, but it’s honestly just not my cup of tea. I can’t see it (or maybe I’m just too blinded by shipping Benthan so strongly).
My Happily Ever After for Them
Preferably for them to never ever set foot in the field again and buy a little house together where they host cozy holiday dinners and snuggle together on the couch after long days of training new agents and teaching them about the importance of the team dynamic. But, as I explained earlier, that’s unrealistic for these two. So, if they must remain in fieldwork, I pray that either they both manage to last long enough that they’re forced to retire (and then Benji will have to help Ethan cope with not being able to prevent bad things, so not exactly ideal) or that they both die together in the field, at the same time, so that neither of them will have to live with the guilt of losing the other (again, not ideal because then they’ll be DEAD).
Who is the Big Spoon/Little Spoon
Benji is the little spoon I don’t care if he’s taller I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS. Benji likes being held. It makes him feel safe after all he’s been through. Grounds him, you know? Gives him a sense of security. And Ethan likes holding Benji, because he knows that no one can hurt Benji when he’s there in Ethan’s arms, and even if Benji has nightmares, Ethan’s already right there to help him.
What is Their Favorite Non-sexual Activity
They are cuddlebugs. They snuggle everywhere, every chance they get. I don’t know if cuddling counts as an activity, though. I think they also like reading to each other. While cuddling. Because I can’t imagine a scenario where they could reasonably be in physical contact and yet wouldn’t be. So yeah. They like to cuddle.
002 | Benji
How I Feel About This Character
I… I love him. So much. Probably more than I should. Rogue Nation was the first M:I movie I saw, and I’d been kinda passively watching it until the high speed chase scene. I’d looked up from my crochet enough to notice Simon Pegg (who, at the time, was still just Scotty to me – can you believe that???), but then he started screaming during the chase, and I started paying attention, because hey, that’s exactly what I’d probably do in that situation, I like this guy. And then by the end of it Benji owned my heart, because Simon Pegg is a phenomenal actor and made me feel all of the emotions when Benji was strapped to the bomb. Mostly because Simon’s eyes are incredibly expressive, something I first noticed towards the end of Star Trek Into Darkness and still notice in most of his films. Then I went back and watched all the films, and I made small involuntary happy noises when he showed up in M:I:III. And he was so cute in Ghost Protocol. I nearly had a breakdown in the theater towards the end of Fallout (you know when I mean!) because I’m so attached to him. I actually legitimately said “Oh thank god” in the theater when it all worked out. I might have even cried a little. I was so worked up that I didn’t even fall for the bait-and-switch at the end. I didn’t have the emotional capacity to even process it as a possibility. So yeah, I think I’m unhealthily obsessed with Benji Dunn.
All the People I Ship Romantically with This Character
Ethan. It’s literally just Ethan. Ethan or bust.
My Non-romantic OTP for This Character
Benji and Ilsa are bros. Fire-forged friends. They’ve both gone against each other once or twice, but now they know where their loyalties lie, and they’ll help each other out when they need it. Total bros.
My Unpopular Opinion About This Character
I don’t know if I have one, really. Although I always kinda imagined Benji as a really good baker, or that he at least enjoys baking in his free time, but then I discovered that apparently a lot of people headcanon him as an awful cook? So maybe that’s one.
One Thing I Wish Would Happen/Had Happened with This Character in Canon
I just want his trauma to be addressed. He tries to talk about it in Ghost Protocol, and Jane and Ethan both look kinda worried, but then Brandt just jumps in and SHUTS HIM DOWN, and nothing more is said about it. And he’s been through much worse since then. Even if it’s just a simple, “Hey, you okay?” from LITERALLY ANYBODY. I’d take it. (I’d prefer it even more if Benji got a hug out of the deal. He needs a hug, poor baby.)
My OTP
Benthan. In case you haven’t figured it out by now.
My Crossover Ship
I have never actually considered this. And I’m not sure I will. I’m just so invested in Benthan, I don’t think I have the capacity to ship Benji with anybody else. I can’t even think of anyone he’d click so well with. (I’ve always been bad at the crackship thing anyway.) Maybe a lone Nick Frost character somewhere. Those always make for good ships, right?
A Headcanon Fact
Hmm… I’m really bad at this stuff, aren’t I? I either give away my answers way ahead of time or can’t come up with anything. Well, outside of Benji being a baker and my fun-to-think-about idea that all Simon Pegg characters are actually related to each other, I usually headcanon Benji as a pretty panicky sort. When I write his internal monologues, I usually get going with these long, looping, drawn-out sentences that all circle back and compound on each other and just make everything so much worse for him. He’s a worst-case-scenario kind of person. Even when things work out, he drives himself mad constantly running through the what-ifs. That’s probably me just projecting onto him a little, but I feel like it’s worked out okay in the few fics I’ve written. I also headcanon that he’s a big-time stargazer, especially when he feels overwhelmed, something that I originally chucked into a fic because I needed something for Benji to do (and also as a I’m-probably-the-only-one-who-got-it nod to Star Trek) but now I firmly stand by it as something he does.
There. That’s that. I started this two hours ago. I probably should’ve been in bed an hour and a half ago. This is ridiculously long. I hope someone finds my obsessive ramblings enjoyable instead of just irritating.
Thank you for giving me the chance to gush like this, Ruth! It feels like I never get to talk about the things I love often enough. At least not to people who actually want to hear me gush about them!
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