theashofwkm

[theashofwkm]

Hey, could you do me a favor?

Could you just RB this?

The little RB statistics chart is so pleasant and stimmy to look at and I want to see what it looks like when it gets really REALLY huge because it makes me think of some deep sea lifeform

[theashofwkm]

Today's Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

and simply must meet the woman so if I don't come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I'm taking the Corgi with me as protection so I'll see y'all later.

[theashofwkm]

“There is a cold-warm sticky feeling in your chest that you shove down, stepping closer, pressing yourself into his chest. His arms encase you, hold you even closer. It feels like a cage, despite your willing step into it, and you’ve no means or plans for escape despite how the thud of your heart demands one. Hugging him, you remember, used to feel like home. / You don’t remember the feeling. None of it is with you now.”

— DA, revenge wip

[theashofwkm]

She going to get her revenge.....just you all wait.....

[theashofwkm]

Oh. Oh, oh. That’s Damien and you’re you like you remember being. Free. In possession of a body. And Damien is here. You’ve missed Damien.

— DA, revenge wip

[theashofwkm]

I would like to nominate “You promised” “I know” as one of the most heartbreaking exchanges in the english language

[theashofwkm]

some fools be like “i play games to escape my responsibilities” then pick tank or healer

[theashofwkm]

I… thought I only added a little bit to the first scene of chapter one. It was ~600 words. Now it’s ~1500.

That’s not a little bit.

[theashofwkm]

Damien. A… something to you. Everything? His name hurts. His face hurts. But you care for him. Beside the hurt is… nothing you know a word for. A painless ache. Hurt that does not hurt. Something and everything and nothing. His memory both wounds you and makes you feel safe.

— The DA, revenge wip

[theashofwkm]

Very vague pop in and update. I am not dead. I have added a few hundred words to a pre-WKM thing focused on Mark and Celine’s divorce. It is very sad and I feel for Mark in it. That version of him deserves better.

Probably will not see light soon, but. It’s a thing getting work done. As for the revenge thing… I don’t know when that will see light. The rewrites are more intensive than I thought they’d be.

[theashofwkm]

its so shiddy when u have to convince yourself to do your hobbies. like, its fun, you like it, why cant you just do it. do it. do it. but what if.... mindless media consumption instead....

[theashofwkm]

Add tour dates and it'd be great

[theashofwkm]

he makes me so happy and so profoundly sad at the same time

[theashofwkm]

[theashofwkm]

Thoughts: it’s looking to be maybe ~40kish (probs a bit more) with seven chapters + a prologue and epilogue that aren’t written.

It’s the revenge thing, if anyone remembers that. No promises on getting it out soon, but there is some progress being made, so. That counts for something?

Looking at an old WKM thing <.<

[theashofwkm]

Looking at an old WKM thing <.<

[theashofwkm]

In Space with Markiplier got nominated for an Emmy and the fact that he had no idea either is so on brand