#but I’ve been trying to reduce my caffeine intake

[feralwifey]

I do perform like a superhero. Did some laundry, went to the bank, did some shopping, cleaned the house like normal, made a leg of lamb and potatoes for dinner, bathed the baby, tidied up everything, cleaned the kitchen and did dishes and cleaned the kitchen floor, idek how many books I read with my toddler and songs we sang, took care of all our trash, idk did more than that can’t remember. But like how? Is it my parents ocd or is it just dedication to the bit? I’ll never know.

[eyra]

hi love,

i'm at a point where i think i may have PMDD but don't even know where to begin.

i'm scared. and just wanted to let you know that seeing you post about your experience is so so incredibly validating and i hope you know you're not alone.

sending you a big squeeze <3

hello! as crap as this whole thing is, I’m glad my post has got a few of us talking about this condish because like I said it truly can feel so isolating. if you’re able to speak to a doctor I would really recommend it - it can be a dull and frustrating process but if you want to try going down the pharmaceutical treatment route then speaking to a doctor is the place to start.

in the meantime some things that I’ve found sort of moderately helpful at reducing specific physical symptoms are cutting my alcohol intake way down (I’m british so this is hard for me to do) and cutting out caffeine, and my emotional shit has been cleaner to sort through since deleting most of my social media. might be worth a shot if you’re struggling!

but definitely would recommend making an appointment - not an easy thing to talk about but there are treatments available (sort of) and you don’t have to just put up with feeling like that. x

[vryntrl]

do you have any sam (or any) thoughts to share also what did your username used to be

oh god i have so many sam thoughts. all my thoughts are sam thoughts. lately i’ve been thinking a lot about his relationship to food (tw for eds, “healthy eating”, and purity). it breaks my heart to watch him go into his “healthy eating” kicks. in the season 8 finale he admits that he’s always felt dirty and like there’s something wrong with him and he relates that to the demon blood and i think his constant running and eating salads instead of food that would actually fuel him for being up all night and getting into never ending physical altercations is his way of trying to be more pure. because it’s not healthy!! yes, staying in shape with the job the boys have is important, but he cannot live off of green smoothies and salads and three hours of sleep. i also think his caffeine intake plays a big role in his lack of appetite. i don’t think he’s actively drinking triple red eyes to reduce his appetite, but i also don’t think he would acknowledge that it’s not actually healthy. it’s not about health, it’s about perceived purity.

also my username used to be lorewh0re :p

[cryanne23]

My fave comfort drink atm: saffron tea ❤️ On a scale of 1 to tala, gaano ka ka-tita? It’s cos I’ve been trying to limit my caffeine intake to just 1 cup of coffee daily (from my usual 3 cups minimum)! Anyway my sister bought this from bali cos she said that saffron tea has lots of health benefits, so I tried looking it up... And found out that saffron tea is an aphrodisiac, esp for those who take antidepressants :| :))) I guess so much for drinking saffron tea! But aside from that, it is also said to reduce PMS symptoms, which is perfect for me as a PMDD tita! Hope it will make the physical symptoms of my PMDD even more manageable, esp this boards szn ✨

I really have the best sisterrr ❤️

[anabananawl]

I’ve lost the will to care about my health- here’s a list of things I’m doing to lose weight in 2024 (with pros and cons from research and person experience):

1. Caffeine (Long Black, and if you need laxative and are lactose intolerant: milk but no sugar). Caffeine is know for its stimulation on the nervous system. It sends direct signals to fat cells and breaks it down. Drinking with added syrups or sugars may cause you to gain weight. But, it does taste better with it. It can raise blood pressure, and therefore you need to consider pre-existing conditions. For example: I have POTS, and I’m not supposed to drink large amounts of caffeine or do too much strenuous activity, but I don’t drink it every day.

2. Cold compresses on areas you want to lose fat. Shivering is known to help induce weight loss- as it releases the hormone irisin from muscles and the hormone FGF21 from brown fat stores. It also can increase metabolism as it increases oxidation of both fat and carbohydrates. I usually add wearing loose clothing or shorts and turn on the aircon. Swimming in cold water may help too!! But, obviously don’t do it too much in one go as you may be prone to hypothermia or other conditions like colds.

3. Walking and online workouts. Like I said before, I can’t do too much strenuous activity as it makes me faint or puts my heart rate at an uncomfortable level- but, walking a lot helps me since it doesn’t need to be too hard. You can find online workouts that help target areas of unwanted fat (and you can usually do it from your bed)! It can be uncomfortable, so don’t overwork yourself.

4. N1cot1n3 products. I’m not promoting this to younger audiences (or any audience really)- but, it’s not my business on your age and what you do. This substance helps reduce appetite and therefore food intake. It is also said to increase resting metabolic rate and number of calories the body burns at rest. However, it isn’t good for your lungs, gums, or any other body parts. And, most products within this substance range have a small amount of calories themselves. Some people find that it clears up their skin, others find it doesn’t, and so on, so forth. However, OD is possible, especially in the beginning (throwing up, fainting, and other horrible things), but once I got over that, it’s been amazing (but very addictive).

5. Of course, the most well known way to lose weight is indulging in a calorie deficit. This can get to the point of being severe and would be bad for you (as you probably know)- and unless ending up in the hospital from not eating enough is on your 2024 bucket list, you have to do this in moderation (not super fun, I can tell you that). You can find inspiration pics on Tumblr, TikTok or Pinterest for calorie deficit diets (and I’m more than happy to post some on here as well), but use this one safely if you can. Or hide your symptoms if able- that is a personal choice.

6. This one goes hand in hand with 5. but, cutting out unnecessary fat, salt and sugar. Again, you can find inspiration for these types of meals online, but do it safely. Don’t do what Emily did on Devil Wears Prada, and only eat a cube of cheese when feeling faint- that may actually have you in the hospital being force fed. Following diet and healthy lifestyle videos (some are toxic, so beware) may help with motivation. I’m happy to try and find some for you and put it in comments. But, doing this can also help with skin, hair, and overall health. If you’ve seen people online who go a week without unnecessary sugar, you know what I’m talking about.

7. Okay, this one may be controversial (more than the others), but go off weight gaining medication. Of course, some people physically cannot go off those medications, and that’s okay- but if you have the choice, then go for it. Talk to a G.P about your concerns, and hopefully they can help you out. Again, this may be difficult, but it doesn’t hurt to try. I have been put on multiple medications in the past that made me gain mass amounts of weight, and they told me to just go on a diet and exercise (which of course didn’t work because the medication was so strong). I’m lucky enough to be at an age (no longer considered to be under “Gillick competence” in the medical world) and position in my life where I have the freedom to refuse those medications, but I understand that you may not. I’m not saying you should go off those medications without guidance, but I found that at one point, it was my only option as it had other side effects that threatened my life (and G.P wouldn’t let me go off).

All of these may be hard to accomplish due to money, living, and age restrictions. Practicing self control, and being more assertive (if able) with others can make a big difference. Of course, some families may not allow this, maybe due to cultural (or other) reasons, but as long as you’re safe (I don’t have much concern for myself anymore, but that’s personal preference), and able to live without a hospital. If you have other ideas, then let me know, but this is personal preference and what I found helps me. Good luck on your journey! You’re beautiful/handsome, and I wish you the very best.

[imkattymae]

Travel: Fighting jet lag.

If I look back at all the trips I’ve taken overseas, the only time I ever recall being excited is when I finally try to get to sleep the night before - I’m hopeless. It’s like my brain flicks on ‘stay awake’ mode just before I know I need to get to sleep because I have to wake up early for a flight. It’s both frustrating and very annoying! Not to mention that I’m worried about feeling jet lagged and really tired.

It’s funny; I can wake up early in the morning and be really tired but can still last the day without falling asleep.

I must say, I don’t think I’d never actually experience jet lag until I travelled on multiple flights last year over five months.

First... what is it?

Jet lag is medically referred to as desynchronises, it's a physiological condition which results from alterations to the body's circadian rhythms resulting from rapid long-distance trans meridian (east–west or west–east) travel on a jet airplane. (Wikipedia)

In regards to symptoms, apparently everyone reacts differently. If you are traveling look out for these:

Headaches, Fatigue, irregular sleeping patterns, insomnia, disorientation, mild depression

It’s said that jet lag isn’t caused by crossing the International Date Line or the length of the flight, its affected more when traveling across a number of time zones which your body clock is not in sync with, and the rhythms are different from your natural body pattern. It also depends on how quickly your body adjusts to these new schedules, so the fact that I’ve never felt like I have been affected may just be because my body adjusted quicker than most people – thank god! Sometimes I wonder if it’s more a state of mind than anything else, and people overthink it too much. But I agree with my friend, I think it’s all about common sense.

If you have experienced jet lag before and often do, here are some tips that I have found from fellow traveler blogs and friends.

Tips to help you fight Jet Lag

Avoid overeating and caffeine  

OK, like me I can’t usually go a day without a cup of coffee or tea so this one is a tricky one for those who do drink a lot of caffeine. Caffeine does keep you up and awake longer, so it will be harder to try fall asleep and reduces your sleep time.

2. Don’t eat too much on the plane

I do think this should depend on how hungry you are and how long the flight is - you do have to eat. But if you do get hungry often during the flight, try and eat snacks and keep in mind that airline food is cooked at least twice because it’s almost impossible to maintain moisture at altitude.

3. Stay hydrated  

The plane can get really dry and with the circulating air – quite annoying, trust me – that is why I don’t wear my contact lenses on the plane anymore. So it is important to stay hydrating during the flight, you might even want to bring a hydrating spray for our face, and moisturizer.

  4. Try to avoid sleeping as soon as you arrive to your hotel

This can really push your body clock, so try and stay up until it’s actually the time to sleep at your destination. If you are really tired from traveling, take a nap – 20 minutes at most but be careful it doesn’t turn into a 3 hour one. I find that I don’t sleep straight away, even if I arrive at 8am in the morning– you have to let your body adjust to the local time so sleeping at the right time is key!

5.  Limit alcohol intake on the plane   

Alcohol can actually worsen the symptoms of jet lag, so try and avoid too much alcohol. If you feel that having a scotch or wine helps you sleep then that’s fine but remember alcohol can also dry you out and its worse when the cabin air dehydrates everyone – not to mention the effects of alcohol when the altitude changes. Did you know that one drink in mid-flight is the same as two or three on the ground! (I didn't know that lol)

If you really are worried, you can try taking pills like ‘No Jet Lag’ pills on Amazon.

Do you have any tips?

[howandreviews]

Mushroom Coffee Revolution: Blending Tradition with Wellness

Mushroom coffee, an innovative blend of traditional coffee and medicinal mushrooms, has been gaining popularity for its unique combination of flavor and health benefits. Here’s an exploration of the different aspects of mushroom coffee, including popular brands like Wunderground, Sun Alchemy, Rasa, and others.

Introduction to Mushroom Coffee

Mushroom coffee merges the rich, aromatic experience of traditional coffee with the health-enhancing properties of mushrooms like Lion’s Mane, Chaga, and Reishi. This innovative blend not only caters to the taste buds of coffee lovers but also taps into medicinal mushrooms, known for their potential to support cognitive function, immunity, and overall wellness. By offering an alternative to regular coffee, mushroom coffee aims to reduce common side effects like jitters and anxiety, often associated with high caffeine intake. It embodies a holistic approach to daily rituals, inviting consumers to enjoy their cherished coffee moments with an added layer of natural, health-supporting ingredients.

Health Benefits

Mushroom coffee not only offers cognitive and immune support but also potentially aids in stress reduction and energy regulation. This unique combination of health benefits stems from the adaptogenic properties of the mushrooms, which help the body manage stress more effectively. The synergy between the natural compounds in mushrooms and coffee creates a holistic beverage that supports both mental clarity and physical well-being.

Flavor Experience

The flavor profile of mushroom coffee is a testament to the innovation in modern food science. By balancing the earthiness of mushrooms with the robustness of coffee, these blends appeal to a wide range of palates. The subtle nuances in flavor, ranging from sweet and chocolatey to rich and nutty, cater to those seeking a gourmet coffee experience with a healthful twist. For an in-depth exploration of the diverse flavors of mushroom coffee, be sure to visit my website. There, you’ll find comprehensive reviews detailing the unique taste profiles of various blends. From the sweet and chocolatey notes to the rich and nutty undertones, each review delves into how these coffees cater to different preferences, providing a gourmet experience with a healthy edge. Whether you’re a coffee aficionado or new to the world of mushroom coffee, these reviews offer valuable insights to guide your next coffee adventure.

Caffeine Content

The moderated caffeine levels in mushroom coffee make it a perfect choice for those looking for a gentle pick-me-up without the overwhelming buzz. This reduced caffeine content also aligns well with a health-conscious lifestyle, providing just enough energy to stimulate without overstimulating the nervous system.

User Experiences and Preferences

If you’re curious about the different tastes of mushroom coffee, you should definitely take a look at my website. There, I’ve put together lots of reviews that talk about the different kinds of mushroom coffee flavors. You’ll read about how some taste sweet and chocolatey, while others have a more rich, nutty flavor. These reviews are really helpful, especially if you’re still figuring out which mushroom coffee you might like the best. It’s all about finding that perfect mix of yummy coffee taste with the health benefits of mushrooms. So, whether you’re a big coffee lover or just starting to try out mushroom coffee, you’ll find these reviews super useful! Like many, I have a preference for dark roast coffee, which led me to choose Earth & Star’s Dark Roast Organic Ground Mushroom Coffee. This particular brand has received excellent reviews and provides the deep, satisfying flavor that I look for in a dark roast.

Brewing and Consumption

Mushroom coffee is great because you can make it in different ways. Whether you like quick, single-serve packets or enjoy making it the old-fashioned way, there’s something for everyone. For example, if you’re always in a rush in the morning, a single-serve packet might be your go-to. But if you love the ritual of brewing coffee, you might prefer the traditional method. Plus, each brand gives you tips on how to brew their coffee just right, so you get the best taste and all the health perks. Brewing it the right way really makes your mushroom coffee experience special.

Packaging and Quality

Packaging for mushroom coffee is a big deal, kind of like making sure your favorite chips aren’t crushed when you open the bag. The better the packaging, the fresher the coffee stays. It’s like keeping your cookies in a sealed jar so they don’t go stale. Brands really listen to what people say about this and keep making their packaging better. This means your coffee won’t just taste good but also keep all its health goodies intact. Imagine opening a coffee bag and finding it as fresh as morning dew — that’s what good packaging does!

Cost and Value

Mushroom coffee tends to be more expensive than regular coffee, but many people see it as worth the extra bucks. It’s like choosing a high-end gym membership for its better equipment and classes — you’re paying for quality. Customers often view mushroom coffee as more than just a drink; it’s a health choice. They’re willing to spend a bit more for the blend of great taste and wellness perks it offers. For those who are really into keeping healthy, the price is just part of making sure they’re getting the good stuff — like paying a bit more for organic vegetables or that fancy spin class.

Environmental and Ethical Considerations

When it comes to mushroom coffee, how it’s made and where it comes from really matters. Many brands make sure to get their coffee and mushrooms in ways that are good for the planet and fair to the farmers. It’s like buying eggs from chickens that are well-cared for — you feel better about what you’re getting. This eco-friendly and fair approach means that when you drink this coffee, you’re not just looking after your health, but you’re also helping the earth and the people who grow the ingredients. For folks who care about doing right by the planet and others, this is a big reason to choose mushroom coffee.

Final Thoughts

Mushroom coffee is like a cool new twist on your regular cup of joe. It mixes old-school coffee with something new — mushrooms — to give you both great taste and a health boost. More and more people are trying it because it fits with wanting to be healthier and make good choices for the planet. It’s perfect for those who want to try something different in their coffee routine, whether they drink it every day or just now and then. Mushroom coffee isn’t just a drink; it’s about enjoying something familiar yet new, and feeling good about your choices. For more insights, awesome reviews, and the latest updates on mushroom coffee, head over to our website! Whether you’re a coffee enthusiast or just curious about this new trend, our site has loads of information to guide you. Check it out now and join the growing community of mushroom coffee lovers! 🍄☕🌟

[mental-health-advice]

I’m not sure if this is allowed, and if this isn’t, feel free to delete this ask. But I feel like I can’t be happy without caffeine. I become an entirely different person when drinking caffeine. Sometimes I say ridiculous stuff, or say too much, but I don’t care in the moment. I’m very physically weak, so it gives me energy. I also do a lot of walking. My world feels empty without it. I actually wonder if it’s the taurine and not the caffeine. I used to drink coffee, but I stopped easily. I recently began drinking monster though and the idea of stopping seems too difficult. Caffeine makes my anxiety worse, but I don’t know. I don’t do drugs (not even w**d). I don’t smoke. I drink on the weekends, but I really want to be straight edge (within reason; I NEED my prescription medication). I don’t know why I want to be straight edge. I’m not scared of anything happening to me. I don’t care about the health risks. I just… feel like lesser. I’ve been drinking caffeine since I was seven. I also became severely depressed around that age, and have wanted to die almost my whole life. I wonder if I’m using caffeine or taurine to escape. I don’t want to be dependant on a substance; dangerous or not. I already have to take anxiety meds for my, unfortunately undiagnosed so I don’t even know if I’m taking the right meds but my family won’t get me a diagnoses, OCD. I already feel shitty because of that. Sometimes I really care about becoming straight edge. Other times I don’t care at all. I hate this feeling. I don’t know if I should stop drinking monster, because I haven’t even tried all the flavours yet. And I know that’s a bad reason to continue drinking it, but I want to try all the flavours at least ONCE. Which again, is really an awful idea to continue. I understand caffeine and taurine aren’t as dangerous as say… alcohol, pot or anything like that, but I still don’t like the way it makes me act. Am I happier? Yes. But I usually end up saying something really ridiculous or doing something irrational. Again, I’m sorry if discussion of this violates any of this blogs rules, and in which case, you don’t have to answer & I apologise.

Hey there,

The bad thing about caffeine and taurine is that it can become quite addictive within yourself and your body can become so use to it that to get that buzz feeling from it that you have to consume more and more if that makes sense?

Of course, I cannot tell you what to do but in relation to not wanting to stop drinking monsters until you have at least tried all flavours, is this just an excuse to keep drinking it? My support worker usually asks me this when I am struggling to, say for example, when I have relapsed with self-harm but yet cannot or I find it difficult to get rid of my tools – is that just an excuse to hang on to my tools so that I can keep self-harming when I need or feel like I need to. So I guess this is what I am asking you, is it an excuse to want to keep drinking till you try all the flavours of monsters, or do you/ are you not ready to part with it just yet? It’s OK too if you feel like you need it in your life (the caffeine and taurine that is in the energy drinks), only you can make the decision to stop and by you making that decision to cut it out of your life or at least reducing how much you drink it, then the easier it will be overall.

And you are so right in saying that these drinks can exacerbate one’s anxiety. It will actually be interesting to see if you do decide to stop or reduce your intake, then how it will affect your anxiety over all! Either way though I encourage you to seek some professional help/ support from your general doctor or GP and especially with reducing the amount your energy drinks that you consume as if you stop suddenly and completely all at once then it could cause some adverse effects and especially after consuming it for x amount of years. It’s the same with alcohol in the sense that when you stop you need your body to slowly get use to not having it in your system by slowly reducing how much you drink so that the symptoms of stopping are not as severe.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[rebelwrites]

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

I’m feeling a bit better now and want to get back to writing so I am opening my requests up again.

I will only take a prompt once so it’s first come first serve. Anything in pink has been taken.

I am taking requests for:

SEAL TEAM; Clay Spenser, Sonny Quinn, Jason Hayes, Ray Perry

Sons Of Anarchy; Jax Teller, Chibs Telford, Happy Lowman, Tig Trager, Juice Ortiz, Opie Winston

Mayans; Angel Reyes, Ez Reyes, Riz Ariza, Bishop Losa

Suits; Harvey Specter

Fast and Furious; Brian O’Conner, Dominic Toretto, Tej Parker, Roman Pearce, Luke Hobbs, Deckard Shaw, Han Lue

Prompts

“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.” - Sonny Quinn

“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.” Clay Spenser

“i dont know how to exist in a world without you” - Happy Lowman

"I rely on caffeine to function." "You should really reduce your coffee intake." "Go die in a ditch" - Juice Ortiz

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it. You are so important to me, you are such a big part of my life, that I just...I can’t imagine you not here.”

“Please tell me that we’re not stuck out here in your piece of shit car.” - Brain O’Conner

"You do realize that I'll throw something at you if you eat the last cookie, right?" - Harvey Specter

“Stop flirting with me, I’m not going to fall for it.” - Clay Spenser

“Because I know when I open my eyes this will all turn out to be a dream and I’ll lose you again.” - Happy Lowman

“The problem is if I kiss you, I don���t think I’d be able to stop.” - Chibs Telford

‘‘she’s not just some girl. she’s the only girl i’ve ever loved.” - Clay Spenser

‘‘you make him happy. i’ve never seen him smile like that with anyone before.” - Jason Hayes

“You don’t have to like me, you just need to pretend you do.”

“You want to practice kissing to make it believable? How about we practice having an argument and you sleeping on the couch?”

“It’s just going to be for one night and there will be so much food and drinks and it’s all free, you just need to say yes and maybe take my hand a few times that night.”

[chimerickat]

Update The Best Intentions!!!!

I don’t believe I will. Thank you. 

In my old age, I’ve found that I don’t quite appreciate demands to update. *Waves cane.* I actually recently had someone just spam me with “Update soon!” on half my fics. They said nothing else so I don’t know if they enjoyed them or if they leave this comment on 100 fics a day regardless of how much they like them. I actually asked them to stop and they kept going so I’m a little extra grumpy right now. 

First, I don’t mind when people hope I update soon or express the desire to see an update soon when it’s part of a comment that actually says something nice. This is an example of a time when someone has nothing nice to say, and tbh, if you’ve got nothing nice to say, then it’s just rude to demand things from people. 

I know I don’t veer into personal stuff often, and that’s less because I’m a private person and more because I don’t think people would really find it interesting, but let me explain exactly why I can’t update frequently and maybe people will stop making demands. 

1) I work full time. This is very lucky for me in the midst of everything going on right now. I’m very grateful for my job. But it does mean that about 40 hours per week are dedicated to paying bills. 

2) I’m an adult living with a husband and an 11-year-old stepson. This means that after work, I often have to wash dishes or cook dinner. Luckily, I don’t have a deadbeat husband and he cooks dinner and does dishes too, but most nights I am responsible for one or the other. Laundry is sometimes a consideration. Cleaning is something we both have to do. Basically I don’t live with my parents anymore and am more responsible for a household than I was as a teen and college student. (Or even after college.) 

3) Speaking of family, sadly my stepson spends some time with his mom. This is a sadly thing because she is deliberately trying to ruin his grades and education in an effort to obtain full custody of him. (She recently lost a lawsuit.) So when he comes back from time with his mom, I have to help him catch up with school as we’re lucky if she gets him to attend his remote learning classes. She’s the “fun” parent and never has him do any homework. Why does this fall to me? Because my husband’s job is currently involved in COVID research (meaning they’re very busy) and he’s salaried so he often has to work more than the 40 hours I work (as I’m paid by the hour). Also I have experience in classrooms and education. So yes, my kid’s education comes before THE FREE READING MATERIAL THAT YOU GET FROM ME. 

4) Did I mention I’m also pregnant? The whole first trimester was a bitch of being unable to eat and wanting to puke up everything. (And actually puking up things.) Currently I’m getting my ribs bashed from the inside. It’s exhausting. It makes me grumpy. I can’t take naps because it makes my acid reflux act up. My caffeine intake has been reduced from like 3-4 cups of coffee a day and however much tea I want to maybe 2 cups of tea a day and no coffee. The withdrawal is real. 

5) I live in a constant state of terror that my husband will get COVID. Or that my grandma will get COVID. Or my parents. I’m less worried about myself, although I’d prefer not to catch it, but more worried about the people around me dying. Aren’t you? Aren’t we all? I’m doing my best to treat people with kindness right now because I feel like we’re all very fragile. I know I’m living with some constant anxiety that I’m not used to. 

Please also note that I put a LOT of time and effort into the things I post. I edit for grammar. I reread for characterization. I take pride in my work and that means that the things I write don’t just get cranked out in half an hour. 

So please, if you have nothing nice to say, kindly leave me alone. I write for free. I enjoy it. But coming in to nasty demands from people who may not even like my work that much is just straight up draining any energy I have. 

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

Life in the Lair - Entry 4

So.  I just found Megamind’s latest stash.

I’ve been trying to get him to cut down on his sugar intake, by which I mean NOT eating nothing but sweets for two days in a row.  It hasn’t actually worked.

He’s explained that his people digest sugar differently, and need a lot more glucose than humans, but come on!  Nobody, and I mean nobody should eat an entire chocolate cake and three jelly donuts!  (How does he stay so thin?!)  And then there’s the way he fixes his coffee every morning (all six cups of it) with FIVE spoonfuls of sugar, flavored creamer, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream!  Okay, I like sweet coffee drinks as much as the next person, but is that really even coffee any more?  I asked him once, years ago, and he said: “oh, absolutely!  In fact it’s more coffee-like than coffee because I infuse the sugar with pure caffeine!  Why are you looking at me like that?” 

THAT really explained a lot.  LOL!  Did you know I spent the first five months here thinking I’d developed some kind of insomnia?  After that conversation I insisted that we get a separate sugar bowl where I can keep my unaltered sugar, thank you very much!

Of course, it’s impossible to be mad at Megamind about his sugar consumption.  He gives me that playful smirk of his and says: “Ah, but my Dear, all that sugar is why I’m so sweet!”  What am I supposed to say to that?  And exactly how can a man who dresses in black leather, fights crime for a living, spent almost twenty years as a supervillain, and has been the Overlord for even longer still manage to be so completely adorable?  It’s not fair, I tell you!  Hahaha!

A better question would be: how did I get to be so lucky as to have that man’s heart?

And yes, for those of you wondering, the rumors are true: he is still the Overlord despite being the Defender.  Actually, in a way, it’s because he’s the Defender.  It’s much easier to control criminal activity and reduce violent crime by setting and enforcing rules from the inside.  Besides, can you imagine what would happen if he suddenly stopped?  I mean, he’s been controlling (and keeping a cap on) crime in this city for decades.  If he suddenly didn’t any more, I don’t even want to think about the infighting and bloodshed that particular power vacuum might create.  And whatever crime boss finally emerged victorious probably wouldn’t care about keeping ordinary people safe or regulating illegal activity.  So, Megamind being both the Defender and the Overlord is really the only answer.

I would say that while he may rule Metro City’s underworld, I still rule the roost here, and, really, it’s true, but I’ve decided not to push the sugar issue.  After all, I’m not a doctor, and I’m definitely not an expert in alien biology-- I probably just opened the door to all kinds of dirty jokes there-- so for all I know eating enough sugar to keep sixteen five year olds hyper and happy for an entire afternoon might actually be healthy for him.  But I’m still insisting that he eat some vegetables now and then... They’re not poison, you know.

A healthy relationship is all about compromise.  🙂  And cake, apparently.

[mercyxkilling]

maybe once i get that good ass mass effect legendary fix i’ll be able to remember how to enjoy what i used to instead of like. just weirdly existing for work and work alone. like i said before: i’m not necessarily sad, but i’m also not finding much joy in anything rn, so i just wake up, work, go home, and repeat the process all over again. sometimes minus the sleep, though. lol thx insomnia.

sorry i’ve been weirdly absent, y’all. i’m working on it. been trying to eat better, reduce my caffeine intake, been taking my supplements as prescribed, and i’m also trying to hang with my friend more to bring me out of this garbage. it’ll pass, as it always does, but it feels real icky at present.

i also will be without a phone until my next paycheck since i can’t afford it atm so you’ll hear even less from me for a bit. trying not to let it get me down, though. you’ll still be able to get at me when i can connect to ye olde internetz when i’m at home and can connect to wifi tho.

either way. ily. take care.

[ms-demeanor]

I don’t talk about being fat much because I’m a weird level of fat.

(Which is a weird thing to say, it really just underscores what kind of bullshit we’re dealing with)

I’m super, super dense. It comes from having all that muscle. When I’m dressed up and my cellulite and stretch marks are hidden I don’t look anywhere close to the idea of what “200lb woman” looks like to our culture.

I’ve got a small waist and breasts, a fairly big belly and big fuck-off hips and thighs. I’m incredibly pear-shaped.

And I’ve got shoulders like a fucking biplane so nobody can tell exactly how bottom-heavy I am when I’m wearing a flannel or a jacket. Fit-and-Flare dresses are my friend, they flatter the hell out of me even though most of them will never come close to covering my ass.

So I’m stealth fat. I can buy most clothes in normal stores and they’ll fit me pretty okay (except that anything that’s big enough for my arms is seventeen sizes too big for my boobs) but, good lord, I can’t get my doctors to shut the fuck up about how I need to lose weight.

And I’m juuuuuust fat enough that wearing shorts or keeping my thighs bare in public means that I’ll get snide fatphobia directed at me from strangers. I don’t wear swimsuits, I don’t wear crop tops.

I’ve learned my angles, I know what kinds of clothes flatter me, I know to hold my head forward and drop my jaw in photos to keep from having a visible double chin.

But I’m not harassed in public most of the time. I don’t have kids calling me names. I don’t have people getting shitty with me about my chronic pain or my asthma and blaming my weight. I don’t get people commenting about my food choices or asking me if I should really be eating that ice cream or asking if I want diet soda.

I’m fat enough that I got dragged along to weight watchers meetings and was the fat kid in highschool but I’m not fat enough that I’m likely to get fired for it or that I can’t find clothes in mainstream stores.

But boy oh boy am I fat enough to catch hell from my doctors.

When I got diagnosed with celiac disease it was a huge relief - THIS WAS WHAT HAD BEEN MAKING ME FEEL SO SICK FOR SO LONG. It was a tremendous load off my shoulders.

And it made me lose a bunch of weight because I basically couldn’t find anything to eat.

I got.

Kind of skinny, actually.

Not skinny enough to feel good in a bathing suit, not skinny enough to have a flat stomach, not skinny enough to get rid of my cellulite, not skinny enough that my arms didn’t flap when I waved. But. Skinny.

Ish.

You know how much I weigh in those pictures? 155lbs. You know what my body fat percentage was? 16%! In the “athlete” range! *Low* in the athlete range for a woman!

Still “overweight.”

Still hearing shit about it from my doctors.

(and cold all the time - I had to keep a heating pad at my desk because of how cold my hands got. It hurt to sit because I didn’t have enough butt to cushion my pelvis. And I was exhausted *constantly*)

You know when I stopped caring what my doctors said about my weight?

I’d regained some of the weight, I was back up to 170 and was feeling better but I’d been having chest pains. Since I’ve got a family history of heart problems I went to the doctor. They did a blood panel and an EKG and everything was normal so my doctor prescribed Lexapro.

I guess that it’s pretty common for people adjusting to Lexapro to have appetite issues and nausea.

I couldn’t keep down water for most of a week.

So I went back to the doctor and said “hey, this isn’t working for me, can we try something else?”

The doctor said “look, I think this will actually be great for your anxiety if you can push through - most people stabilize after a month or two”

And I said “I’ve lost ten pounds in six days. You can compare it to my last visit. I can’t eat. I can’t drink. I can’t remember the last time I urinated.”

And the doctor said “Oh, okay, yeah, we can stop that. But you might want to consider keeping up with the weight loss.”

You know what’s really great for anxiety? Getting a massive case of the “FUCK THIS SHITs.”

Anyway I reduced my caffeine intake, quit one of my three jobs, and stopped giving a fuck about maintaining my weight loss and my chest pain went away.

I don’t think that I can physically maintain the level of not-fat it would take to make my doctors happy. I’d have to be literally starving to not have visible cellulite.

Bullshit.

It’s all bullshit.

I’m a chronic pain patient with asthma and an autoimmune gut disease, all of which existed in me before I was fat. I have several clinically significant disorders, my weight shouldn’t be what doctors land on first when we’re trying to figure out why I’m experiencing a symptom (“hey doc, I’m experiencing a lot of dizziness, could you help me out?” “lose weight.” “Okay, nevermind, hey could you check my folate levels? Oh, sweet. Yeah. They’re low. Because I have a gut disorder that reduces nutrient absorption and requires me to consume lots of unfortified foods and most Americans get their folate through fortified foods cool I’m going to start taking this folic acid pill because you told me to lose weight when I was actually dealing with a form of anemia; fuck you”).

So yeah. I’m fat. But I don’t feel like I can claim fat?

I’m fat enough to be only minimally marginalized by it?

I’m a small fat person?

Dudes I don’t know.

But I feel better. That I’m sure about.

[goosegoblin]

Ten things to do while you’re on an ADHD service waiting list

Finally realising you have a disorder and then realising it could take over a year before anyone helps you really, really sucks. I thought I’d write a guide of things you can do in the wait period to keep yourself sane and try and make some progress.

1) Join ADHD online support groups. I know it’s Reddit, but reddit.com/r/ADHD is a really great board. It has a great blend of ‘DAE...’ type posts and actual advice, and the mods are really good at not letting it turn into one-upping or learned helplessness. There are groups on basically every social media site you can think of and then some, so look around until you find somewhere that feels good.

2) Join offline ADHD support groups. I can’t overstate how much this has helped me. Search ‘ADHD support [your area]’ and see what’s around. I only went to a couple of IRL meet-ups, but it felt like meeting family. We were all late and got lost and talked too much and spilled things and nobody minded because we were all home. 

3) If possible, be physically active. Yeah, I know, you’re rolling your eyes right now. Still, this is one of those things that’s scientifically proven to help. Try stuff out and see what works for you. If nothing else, download Pokemon Go (it’s kind of good now!) and go for a walk. I find that, whilst I’m often reluctant to go to the gym, my brain is a lot more ordered and willing to co-operate after I’ve been.

4) Learn to recognise RSD. RSD stands for ‘rejection sensitive dysphoria’, and refers to a phenomenon seen in people with ADHD where we take criticism very, very seriously. Someone gently pointing out an area you aren’t doing great in might feel like being shot in the stomach. This is hard, and it doesn’t go away overnight, but identifying it is step one in learning to de-fuse from the thoughts it offers. I like using ACT techniques here- look up ‘thought defusion’ to learn more.

5) Give up old ways that do not work for you. Listen. I know you’ve tried to keep a bullet journal six times now. I know that every time, you spent eight hours designing it perfectly, then lost interest within four days. I get it. I’ve been there. Your brain is not neurotypical (NT), and you can’t force it to be behave like it is. That means you might have to come up with your own systems, and they might look broken and bizarre to NT people, but if they work for you, they aren’t. 

6) Buy/ read ‘Unfuck Your Habitat’. I think this book should be required reading for everyone with executive dysfunction, to be honest. If you can’t afford the book and your library doesn’t have it, then there’s lots of great content on the UFYH website and blog.

7) Identify time traps. You set your alarm for an hour before you had to leave, didn’t do anything differently to normal, but were somehow half an hour late. Why? How? Try and think of what you might do that makes you ‘lose time’. For many of us (myself firmly included), it’s ‘the internet’. Once you’ve identified these, be cautious about using them when you know you’re tight on time. If nothing else, set an alarm for ten minutes or so to prevent you from accidentally spending forty-five minutes reading Wikipedia pages about nuclear disasters.

8) Keep a distraction notepad nearby. Are you trying to do work but you just keep thinking of other exciting/important things you need to do/look up right now? Keep a notepad or word document nearby and write down these ideas/ thoughts as they arise. That way, you know you won’t forget about them, and you can keep focusing on what you’re meant to be doing. (Spoiler alert: you will end up not looking up half of these things because you realise they don’t actually matter)

9) Experiment with caffeine. People with ADHD have a different reaction to caffeine than NT people do, to the extent that coffee is even used as a treatment for children with ADHD. The flipside of this is that many people with ADHD struggle with anxiety, and too much caffeine makes this worse. If you struggle more with anxiety, reduce your caffeine intake; if you struggle more with executive dysfunction or an inability to focus, try adding in more. The line between ‘extra productivity’ and ‘oh good, a panic attack’ can be a thin one, but caffeine can be an excellent tool when used well.

10) Allow yourself time to grieve. This happens even more after you actually get diagnosed in my experience, but it’s relevant here too. I’ve often said that being diagnosed with a condition later in life does somewhat push you through the stages of grief. If you feel angry that nobody picked this up earlier, or depressed that your brain will be like this forever, or you flip-flop between believing you have ADHD and being in complete and utter denial: that is normal. You’ll hit acceptance eventually, I promise. For now, be patient with yourself, and understand that how you’re feeling is okay and alright.

I could list a bunch more of these, but hopefully there’s some stuff there to get you started and keep you sane. I tried not to put in anything too overwhelming or too specific- though, of course, you’ll likely find some of these apply more than others. I know this wait period will feel horribly, impossibly long, but you are strong and you can do impossible things. I’m proud of you.

[luminescentwind]

XXII.

Today I finished reading My Friend Dahmer. I was fascinated by the drawing style. The last graphic novel/manga I read was Akira. And the last series I watched was The Queen’s Gambit.

All of these feature substance abuse which is something I find fascinating. I try to avoid alcohol and drugs myself precisely because of what I’ve seen they do to people. Of course, it could be said that someone’s behaviour is in some way inherent to themselves, and not directly related to any particular substance. I believe that, to a certain degree. But the effect of alcohol is just awful. Other drugs, I haven’t tried, except for smoking marijuana a couple of times. Much better than beer but it’s still something I wouldn’t do more than once a month, to be honest.

I can see why these things draw people in, though. They give you a rush or just make you chill for a while. But I’ve noticed that people become dependent on them and that’s what I don’t like. I’m not talking about a full-blown addiction but just a general dependence in certain situations, say when going out with friends, they drink, when wanting to relax, they smoke. When going to sleep, they smoke; when waking up, they smoke. To unwind and drift off; to wake up in a good mood. That stuff can’t be good.

Then again the same could be said about sugar or caffeine. I don’t really make any sort of effort to ditch sugar. When I start thinking too much about food I get obsessed and I’ve been on the edge of developing an eating disorder. That still lingers and I feel it may come back at any moment, so I’ve decided to eat normally and not restrict what I eat. (Except corpses, duh. Can you believe people still eat animals in 2021? Shocking.) As per caffeine, I’ve been reducing my coffee intake but I drink mate, so I believe the amount of caffeine may be similar? I’m not sure. But mate doesn’t make me all jittery.

I suppose we can become addicted to just about anything, but there are certain substances that are simply a big no-no from me.

[snezfics-n-shit]

Whumptober Day 29: Allergy

Fandom: Ace Attorney 

Characters: Godot, Simon Blackquill

Notes: Adjusting to life out of prison isn’t easy, but that’s what Simon is here for. If all goes well, Godot might just be interested in taking better care of himself after experiencing a distressingly long period of loneliness. Let’s be real, though, it’s Whumptober, why would anything go well? Also this is hella self-indulgent but that’s why I started doing this whole thing anyway :p 

“Today’s the day.” Godot held the largest of his three painted rocks with one hand. “They’re making me talk to a ‘real person’.” He said as if talking to someone living and breathing wasn’t exactly what he needed right now. The first month after his release, it was like everyone wanted to see him. Soon after, however, people returned to their uninterrupted busy schedules, hardly any of which included even a call. After a few months, the invitations dwindled until they came to a halt. 

The closest thing he had to socialization these days were his three therapy rocks and the cartoon owl spamming his phone after he gave up trying to learn Polish. If anyone asked him, though, he would insist it was adequate. Who needs to leave the house when there are three googly-eyed rocks to talk to? That owl could go soak its head, though. Godot was never that fond of birds anyway.

Godot was certain he could live with being alone so often. There were ways to pass the time without going out with others. He ordered a recorder and followed online tutorials on how to play it until he realized no one would be there to hear him perform besides his neighbors who had been kind enough not to complain. He even tried an exercise routine, but he was always left feeling winded to a point that just wasn’t worth it. For a while, he considered signing up for social media, and maybe he should have, but why would he want to log in everyday just to see people enjoying life without him? After all his methods of killing time grew boring, Godot found himself sleeping simply to get the day over with.

He could sit in solitude all day if it weren’t for that pounding on his apartment door interrupting his perfectly satisfactory quiet. He would say the buzzer existed for a reason, but he didn’t exactly want to answer that either. There was no choice, though. If he didn’t answer the door, he would surely be breaking some kind of fine print that required him to do so.

When he opened the door, Godot was convinced this had to be some sort of joke. In front of him was a man clad in black and white, looking more like a member of some kind of lousy rock band than someone sent by the criminal justice department. 

“Armando-dono, I’m-”

“No one under that name lives at this address.” Godot attempted to close the door in this stranger’s face. ‘Armando’ was bad enough, but whatever this ‘dono’ part was took the cake in making him want nothing to do with this man. 

“Sorry,” the stranger didn’t even struggle keeping the door open with the strength of his arm, “I briefly forgot your files say you want to be called Godot.”

‘Want to be called?’ What was that supposed to mean? Godot wasn’t some middle schooler wanting to be an anime character. This guy looked pretty close to that description, though.

“Go away.”

“I cannot do that.” The stranger let himself inside and slid off his shoes. “You would be in violation of the contract you signed when you were released.” Yup, there was that fine print. “My name is Simon Blackquill and I’ve been assigned as your, ah,” he looked down at a scrap of paper, “wellness companion.”

Wellness companion. What a joke. If he was really concerned about Godot’s wellness, he would leave him alone.

“I don’t want any wellness companions.” Godot tried shoving Blackquill out the door, but the man was too sturdy to even budge; not to mention Godot felt his nose start to run as he was pushing, and the last thing he was about to do was provoke this ‘wellness companion’ to wipe his nose for him. “You can go next door and offer whatever you’re selling there. Maybe recruit them for your cult or something, I don’t care.”

“The residents next door were not recently released from prison.” Blackquill slammed the door behind him, brushing off Godot’s pushing as he invited himself to one of the couches. He scribbled something on a notepad. “How often are you in this room?”

“All the time?” Why was that even a question? It’s called the living room for a reason. This whole ‘wellness companion’ bull was a joke. “Are you gonna ask if I sleep in the bedroom?”

“Actually, your amount of sleep is on the list, yes.” Blackquill flipped through the pages of his notes to pinpoint where that question was. “Can you tell me how much you sleep a night?”

“I’m good at that.” Godot sniffed. “Twelve hours a night, six hours a day. That enough for you to say I’m well enough to not need a ‘companion?’”

“That’s not healthy.” Blackquill frowned, even less convinced that Godot could be left alone even a day longer. He looked around the room, pleasantly surprised at how tidy the apartment was kept. That was a good sign, at least. “You’ve been taking out your rubbish regularly, I see.”

Rubbish? Was this guy British now?

“Well, yeah. I’m not some kind of slob. What do you take me for?” Godot pivoted to the side, nostrils flaring. “Ei’shCHH!” He rarely covered a sneeze adequately, but if this so-called companion was going to imply he had some kind of cleanliness problem, he wasn’t about to prove him right. 

“Bless you.” The ‘wellness companion,’ whatever that even meant, scribbled down some more notes. What was he even writing this time?

“You don’t have to do that. E’esshCHH!”

“Bless you again.”

“You some kind of priest?” Godot pressed his knuckles under his nose. “I knew this was a conversion thing.”

“No.” Blackquill offered a handkerchief from his pocket. “Are you catching cold?”

“It’s called ‘a cold,’ and no.” Godot was about to say his home was already abundant with tissues, only to realize that, no, the apartment was barren in that aspect. He begrudgingly plucked the offered piece of cloth, if only out of desperation. His sinuses only burned as he pressed it against his face. “Ii’ssSSH! I’sSHCHIH! What is this thing made of? Eh’ssHHIH!”

“Cloth?” Blackquill blinked as he watched the spectacle before him. “It’s washed with products specifically made for people with sensitivities.”

Sensitivities. Godot couldn’t think of a word that provoked such an image of weakness as ‘sensitivities.’  This man was making fun of him and he couldn’t even call him out for it because he was too busy sneezing. Godot didn’t have any proof but he would bet big money on Blackquill making this happen on purpose.

“You did something to- E’issSHHH! You did something to this.” Godot tossed the wet handkerchief at Blackquill, smirking when it hit him smack dab in his face. “For some weird, sick kicks.”

“Bloody--” Blackquill grimaced after the handkerchief fell off his face. Why did he offer his services for this again? He wasn’t being paid near enough. “I can assure you nothing like that happened.”

“Bull.” Godot scratched at his neck, already breaking out in hives. “Can you prove that?”

“No, I can’t.”  If Blackquill had his way, he might have just up and left, but he couldn’t bring himself to quit yet. “How about you clean yourself up and we start over? The sooner I finish this assessment, the sooner I can leave.”

“Why can’t you just write down that I’m doing great and you never need to come back? Here, I’ll do it for you.” Godot tried to grab for the notepad, foiled by Blackquill pulling it away. 

“I can’t let you do that.” Blackquill sighed through his nose. “Just go and take a shower. I’ll wait out here.”

There he went again, implying Godot’s cleanliness was- Oh. Godot felt the raised welts on his neck as he scratched at it again. A shower was actually a good idea.

. . .

    Blackquill appeared to have made himself too comfortable by the time Godot left the bathroom. He had already gone through at least five pages of notes and his jacket was dangling off the corner of the couch. It was likely psychosomatic, but just as Godot saw him in the living room again, he felt that burning sensation in the back of his nose he thought he would be rid of by now.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Godot made a light grunt as he sat himself on the couch perpendicular to where Blackquill sat. “We already went over how I’m not a slob and I sleep ‘too much.’”

“I’d like to ask about your caffeine consumption.” Blackquill clicked his pen. “Are you cutting back as recommended?”

“I guess.” Godot wasn’t lying, but his reduced coffee intake had more to do with being awake an average of only six hours a day than cooperating with health experts. He cleared his throat, making a noise similar to a growl. “What does that say about me?”

“This isn’t some kind of psychoanalysis, so it just says you’ve been making the recommended changes to your diet. Which reminds me, are you eating regularly? That is, when you’re awake?”

“Usually.”

Blackquill shook his head and scribbled some more notes.

“As for your overall health, would you-”

“E’essSHHH!”

“Bless you. Would you say you feel generally healthy?”

“I was, until whatever is going on right now.” Godot sniffled thickly. If it didn’t likely mean another unwanted visit happening in the future, he figured he could have easily played this up to have the apartment to himself again. “I don’t think I’ve felt this bad since that weeaboo came to prison with his stupid bird.” He muttered. 

“I beg your pardon?”

“The guy thought he was something special because they let him prosecute during his sentence. Probably also thought he was cooler than any other weeaboo because he watched samurai movies instead of anime like a normal person.”

Godot was so caught up in his rant that he didn’t notice Blackquill growing more uncomfortable by the second. He didn’t even see Blackquill’s look of sudden clarity just before starting to remove his coat from the sofa to put it somewhere out of the room.

“Hey!” Godot wiped his nose aggressively. He ran faster than he had in a long time just to stop Blackquill from proceeding any further. “If I have to keep you around, I guess I should take your coat.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Just let me do this!” He tugged the coat off Blackquill’s shoulders, unwittingly shaking off more irritants into the air. “Ei’ssCHIH! E’ssSHH! Eh’ssSHH!”

“That-” Blackquill was interrupted by a set of three more sneezes from Godot, who continued on his way hanging the coat. “Are you done?”

“Probably dot.” Godot settled on a paper towel from the kitchen to clean himself up with. It hurt like hell but he wasn’t about to use that handkerchief again. “But you were saying?” He coughed roughly into the uncomfortable, sandpaper-like material, followed by a long wheeze. 

“Nothing.” Blackquill looked down at his feet. “I think it’s best I go.”

“But you just got here!” As much as Godot would hate to admit it, there was satisfaction in having someone to just listen to him talk, particularly not another rock. “I took your coat and everything.”

“You don’t have to start pretending you want me around.” Blackquill stood upright and went to grab his coat without another word.

“What about your ‘assessment’ thing?”

“Consider it postponed and transferred to someone else.” 

“Someone else? Another complete stranger?” 

“Whoever it is would be a far better fit for you than I.”  

Godot watched Blackquill leave. He felt that damn dirty tugging in his stomach and chest once the door closed. He was surely desperate, wasn’t he? He had to be at potentially literal rock bottom if he already missed answering questions for a stranger he didn’t even like. 

He made a run for the cup where he kept some sharpies. Even though the paper towel he had used earlier was a little damp, there was still enough room to write something on it. Half his brain told him he would regret this, and maybe that was the right half, but he pressed the paper towel against the window Blackquill was sure to pass before leaving the area.

“Coffee sometime?”