#but I’m tired and I can’t finish an art piece

[jellyshark-jester]

Did gods work.

It pains me to see skinny feixiao.

[justafaller]

“The Sacrificial Lamb, The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, and The Wolf”

All are the Lamb, All are the Wolf.

The Trinity is One and the Same, they are blood thirsty and the blood that quenches.

The hearts that bleed, and the hearts that are bled out.

Oh to consume, oh to be wasted, oh to waste.

Isn’t this the dilemma, isn’t this the beauty?

Prints are now available on my InPrnt! Thank you for any support you can offer my art💕

[the-brainrot-central]

Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….

What even is The Point anymore

[cherry-leclerc]

about you ☆ cl16

genre: yearning, humor, pwp (smuttt, perhaps a bit dirtier than I intended, yikes), glimpse of fluff!

word count: 5.8k

Where Charles reminisces on his first love, where for a while, you were all his. First loves are portrayed as something you never want to forget or in this case, forgive. And it all started with a painting.

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+...penetrative sex, doggy style, spit, squirting, teary eyes, teasing, polaroids (ha!), slightly mean/teasing charles

inspired by this and this !

“What about you?”

The group had settled into quite a comfortable spot, gossiping about first loves, if you really care about that type of thing, and spilling secrets. Seeing as it was late November everyone either had a cup of coffee or hot chocolate, courtesy of Lily.

“I don’t really like to talk about her anymore.” The room grows silent as Charles tries to play off the sudden shift. At times like these he almost envied the cold. The cold never once got questioned of why it was like that, but he knew the same wouldn’t go for him.

“Uh uh,” Daniel clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “We all went around sharing, it's only protocol you do the same.” 

If anyone felt Charles grow uncomfortable, they chose to ignore it. He can’t be too upset, before this he was enjoying his time, up until the attention turned to him. If it were anything else, he’d give it a go, but he knows too well that he can’t get out of this one.

“I’ll make it easier for you,” Lewis tries to ease the Monegasque. “How did you meet her?”

He feels quite sad that it takes him a while to remember, but eventually he recalls it all. 

“I met her in LA.”

-

Staring up at the blazing sun you spill out dirty curses. You had been frolicking in the shops trying to find a decent vegan restaurant for your boss to enjoy. Digging out a hair tie from your tote bag has you even more irritated than you ever thought possible. 

Stepping inside a small art gallery, you decide to refuge there for a bit. The cool AC instantly has you shutting your eyes in pleasure. 

“How much for this piece?” 

You pop an eye open before deciding not to spare a glance. “I don’t work here.” 

The man lets out an awkward cough before excusing himself. “Sorry, I just thought…my mistake.” Feeling bad you turn your head.

“It’s alright, I should apologize as well.” Catching a first glimpse makes you hate yourself just a tiny bit for acting like a bossy LA girl. Didn’t help that he also had the nicest eyes humanly possible.

“I’m Charles.”

Mutually, you both spend some time walking around. He lets you know he’s only visiting as he is a foreigner. You let out a small sigh. “Lucky you didn’t grow up in LA. Extremely tiring, I can tell you that much.” 

“Tiring how?” He glances at you for a split second before looking at the nearest canvas. You hum.

“You eventually grow tired of being someone you’re not.” 

The stranger seems to feel bad enough based on his facial expression, but he understood what you were saying. A single ring expands into the air as you bite down on your lip.

“Shit, my boss.” Completely enthralled into your conversation time had completely slipped your mind. “I have to get going, but it was nice to meet you…”

“Charles,” he reminds you as you share an embarrassed nod. Something inside of him tells him to ask for your number, though it really wouldn’t be wise enough to do, he’s not even from here or a regular visitor. It wouldn’t make sense.

“...264,” you finish telling him as he quickly types in your phone number.

“Great. I’ll see you later for dinner.”

-

“Since when do you visit LA?” Pierre’s voice is filled with betrayal. Charles rolls his eyes at his friend. “Mate, you know I’ve always wanted to go there for Nobu!”

“Yeah, well no need to worry I’ll leave LA all to you now.” The definite confirmation in Charles’ voice has everyone wondering how bad things could have gotten between their friend and the unnamed girl he had once been hung up on, though he would never admit it. 

“How did the dinner go?” Alex curiously questions, trying to dig in deeper. He knew he wanted to get the best version since Lily had practically begged him to fill her in on the drive back home.

“It was the best date I’ve ever had.”

-

“Your reservation doesn’t exist.” The waiter was starting to grow annoyed at the 25 year old who insisted he had called on the phone. I can look for my own name on the list, Charles offers though the man quickly raises his hand. “I’m sorry, but the restaurant has grown full. You can try again tomorrow.”

Sitting down on the sidewalk he tries to think of ways to break the news to you. All of them had him cringing. A yellow cab pulls up in front of him and you step out smelling like a garden in Italy.

“Charles!” you exclaim as you run clumsily with heels undone. Finishing up your shift you had quickly dashed home to try to get here one time. Being a few minutes late isn’t all that bad. 

“Hey…” He rises up as you’re sitting down. Sheepishly he sits back down once again. “So you might hate me…” 

“Why’s that?” you hum as your clip on your heels. Once you are done you stare up at him. Your eyes have him tongue tied as he tries to remember the last time he’s felt like this. Seeing you dressed so pretty makes him upset and he knows he can’t mess this up with admitting his mistake.

“Someone got our table.” Frowning you peek over at the hostess who is taking in more names and clients. “Yeah they just swooped in and stole it.” 

“No way!” Feistiness paints your eyes as you stand up, hands on your waist. He realizes he doesn’t completely hate this look on you. Clearing his throat he stands as he pats his hands against his pants.

“Don’t worry though I’m sure we can find some place else.” 

“That’s not fair though,” you point out as you start to make your way over. His eyes grow wide as he runs alongside you. 

“It’s okay! I swear I’ll find you an even better restaurant where you can dine and display your pretty dress!” You look beautiful by the way, he adds and you quickly turn to him with a smile and blush painting your cheeks. 

“I’m sure you could but still, we should say something.” He doesn’t have a chance to stop you as you reach the hostess. 

“Hi,” you chirp as you grin kindly. The older man turned his attention with a bored expression.

“How can I help you?”

“Well, um, my date,” you turn and point at Charles who stands there with a blank stare. “He made a reservation for two and it seems you gave our table away.” The man, John, shakes his head.

“You must be mistaken - or have been lied to - but your table wasn’t given away because your date here never made a reservation, as I already informed him.” You both turn your attention to the Monegasque as he begins his act.

“Uhhh…”

Shaking your head you face John once again. “If he told me he made a reservation then he made a reservation.” Raising an eyebrow you stare back at him expectantly. 

“As I already told you, no he didn’t.”

Growing more nervous Charles tries to convince you to let it go. I just looked it up and there’s a better restaurant just 2 hours away! “No,” you finalize as he nibbles on his bottom lip. “We are getting our table back.”

“Then I guess you’re just going to have to keep waiting because we are most definitely not going to serve you today.” You roll your eyes.

“Thank you, John.” Making your way over you sit on a bench for waiting guests, Charles follows. “Which table did you reserve?”

“29.” Narrowing your eyes over at John you nod. “Alright. So here’s what we’re gonna do…”

“Are you sure about this?” He lifts you up toward an open window as you grab on, trying to stay secure.

“Just…yes. Just don’t drop me!” His hands placed on your body have him hard and he tries to play it off. This would not make him look good on a first date. 

“Okay let me go now!” You screech as you climb over. He watches as you carefully place your Dior covered feet onto the ground. Clapping you shoot a thumbs up on your side of the glass. “Now it’s your turn.”

Rolling up his sleeves he slips into a small pep talk. You got this. You got this. Climbing up towards the window quite evenly has you standing there impressed. Pretty good, you congratulate as he looks down at your figure.

“Than-” Slipping he crashes onto the polished floors. 

“Yikes.”

Rubbing his arm he follows you around the dimly lit restaurant. Lots of twists and turns. “I’m starting to get dizzy, how do you know this place so well?” 

“I’ve made a few reservations for my boss and her colleagues to have private meetings, now hush and try not to catch anyone's attention!”

“Fuck! You’re Charles Leclerc!” A group of guys stand up in a hurry as you both stop dead in your tracks. You’re confused as to how they know your date's name but as soon as you catch a glimpse of their table’s number, your curiosity flows away. 

“Oh so you guys stole our table!” You march over to them as they stare back confused. Charles immediately follows you.

“What are you talking about? We didn’t steal anything.” Tilting your head a bit you stare at them accusingly.

“Yes. Table 29. He reserved it.” You point over at Charles who is busy signing a few autographs in order for them to shut up and not get your attention. Dazed, you pull your eyes away from him as he stands there like a deer in headlights.

The guy ignores you as he pushes past you. Scoffing, you cross your arms over your chest as you begin to glare. He begs for Charles to sign his shoe. Standing your ground you walk over to the now open seat. As the group starts to thank Charles for taking pictures and signing their belongings, which still doesn’t make much sense, they return to their table.

“Move.” The guy crosses his arms and begins to tap his fancy glossed shoes. 

“No. This is our table.”

He turns to his friends who urge him. Others say, Leave it. She’s hot. Though as much as you're holding on to this stupid table, he is too. “Get up or I’ll have to call security.” Charles starts to stroll over to where you’re sitting to intervene with the situation but you let out a mocking laugh.

“You think a silly little trust fund baby like you scares me?” Licking your red lips you lean your arms over the dinner table. “Cause you don’t.”

His face starts to boil red as he tries to keep his cool. “Listen, this is our table. So get your filthy ass up and leave,” he spits out. Her ass is pretty nice, his friends confirm as Charles tries to restrain himself from going in for a sucker punch.

“It’s okay,  jolie fille, I’ll buy you an even better dinner.” You push his hands away as your glare remains on the man in front of you.

“Quit acting like you’re the shit because you’re not. Has anyone taught you manners? Has anyone tamed the doggy?” You pout, poking his ego as he reaches out to drag you by the arm.

“Mate, there’s no need for that-” Charles begins before he catches a glimpse of a flying arm.

“Don’t touch me!” You yell out as you spare a solid uppercut, and as it was unexpected, he flew back where his friends all tackled to not let him fall. 

A few guests gasp and others murmur. Charles sends a small dimpled smile before grabbing you, making sure you weren’t going in for more. “Crap. That shit hurt,” you moan as you massage your knuckles. Fondly, and a bit amazed, he smiles.

“I think we should leave,” he advises as you nod. 

“Yeah. Go ahead and listen to your owner…doggy.” Turning around, Charles barely has a chance to grab you before you go in for another hit. 

“You bitch!” 

He stands up, not before his friends hold him back. You kick as Charles lifts you by your waist, carrying you away.

“Let go! I’m going to mess up his botox face!” You dig your nails, not intentionally, into his skin as he hisses. 

As you continue screeching in his arms a now concerned and confused John stares, jaw on the floor.

“Don’t worry, Johnny, we’re leaving.”

-

“Holy shit!” Pierre stares, eyes wide. “That’s so cool! Why didn’t Kika and I do that on our first date?” Everyone agrees. Charles hums at the memory he had not reminisced on for quite a while.

“So you had a fun date and then what? You just let her go?” Lando shakes his head in disapproval, claiming he wouldn’t have messed up in that way. 

“No, we still continued seeing each other.” He smiles. “You don’t get it. I was completely captivated by her.”

-

Apologizing over the last date you both had was pretty easy.

“Don’t worry. That was the most fun I’ve had in a while.” You laugh at his response as you take a sip of your lemonade. Glossy lips wrap around the straw before biting down. He had to stop staring.

“How did they know your name?” Fiddling with your cup you squint at him underneath your sunglasses. He stiffens.

“You see, I’m…I… I drive.”

You scrunch your nose like a bunny as you let out a muffled laugh. He shakes his head as he tries again.

“A Formula 1 car. I drive in Formula 1.” Nodding you twiddle with the straw.

“What’s that?” 

Shocked, he finds himself asking, seriously? You shrug. “Care to explain, Mr. Leclerc.”

He spends the next 2 hours walking you through it all, taking his time. He learns that you had no idea of his status and career in F1 since it appeared that it isn’t as popular in California as it is in Europe, though it’s getting there.

“Nice. So I’m dealing with a celebrity,” you whisper jokingly as you raise your purse to cover you both. “Don’t wanna get paparazzied.” 

“I’m not a celebrity,” he laughs as you giggle, bringing your purse down.

“Of course not,” you agree. “You’re Charles.” 

For some reason, that makes him feel more seen than he has in years.

-

“Seriously, how long was this trip and why wasn’t I invited?” 

“He just didn’t want you bugging him like you are now,” Max croaks as Pierre flips him off.  

“I was only there to buy this one portrait, but as soon as I met her, it’s almost as if that was a reason to stay. I wanted to stay.” Charles stands up to serve himself another cup of hot chocolate, he adds almost half of the bag of marshmallows.

“Leave some for the rest of us,” George cries out. 

“Look! He’s getting chocolate drunk, this is a real problem,” Lando pokes fun as Carlos laughs next to him.

“I want to know more about this mysterious girl. What was she like?”

The green eyed boy thinks about it. Then he thinks about it some more. “I don’t know…What I do know is that I’ve never met someone like her.”

-

“It’s a staple here in LA. You have to go.”

It’s 5pm and you both sit in your old Chevy your grandpa had passed down to you. Here you were, trying to convince Charles to go to the Griffith Observatory.

“I’m not sure…What if someone noticed me?” You tap his nose before you dig into your bag. You pull out two bucket hats. 

“I survived LA?” he reads as you nod. 

“Bucket hats like these are also a staple, now put it on.” You hand him a pair of Ray Bans as you begin to drive to your destination.

“I feel like Jessica Olsen,” you squeal as you skip a bit, Keds and tube socks scratching along the pavement.

“Jessica who?”

“I forgot you’re all oh la laaa,” you tease as he laughs. You bump your hip against his waist. “It’s a movie. Starstruck. It’s about a girl who ends up meeting this international superstar and they go on all these crazy adventures.” You purposely leave out the fact where they fall in love. “He betrays her by saying he doesn’t know of her on national television!” 

Your wounded reaction has him playing along. He gasps. “No wayyy!” Rolling your eyes you pinch his bicep.

“Don’t be a Christopher Wilde and betray me, got it?” 

“Christopher Wi-”

“He was the superstar, Charles,” you sigh. “You ought to watch the movie.”

“This is so cool.” He finds himself walking ahead of you as he grows more and more excited with the cosmos. 

Behind him you say, “It is, but it sucks you can see more city lights than actual stars.”

He finds you pouting and he wishes for nothing more than to kiss you.

“City lights are cool too.”

-

“You went to the Observatory as well!” Pierre groans into a pillow. 

“Get over it already,” Yuki grunts. 

Charles had forgotten how much he enjoyed his time with you. Back in Los Angeles you had said people there pretended to be something they’re not. In Europe, he felt the same. Coincidentally, when you were together, you both were the truest versions of yourselves. Something you both wished you were able to keep.

“Damn. This is pretty cute,” Lewis admits. “How long did you stay there?”

“1 month.” Everyone gasps. 

“Oh you were into her into her,” Alex whistles. Growing a bit embarrassed Charles finds himself looking for any excuse to stop talking about you. 

“Tell us more! Tell us more!” Daniel chants as he drums his hands against the wall. He shifts a bit before leaning his head up against the warm couch.

“I met her family.”

-

“God, what did I do to deserve this?” your dad yells as he stares up at the open sky, backyard lit with fairy lights.

“Calm down before you scare him away!” You had invited Charles over for homemade burgers, but you moved out a long time ago, you had no idea your dad was a recent Formula 1 fan. Specifically, Ferrari.

“Of course. I can act cool.”

Breathing hard, Charles finds you carrying your sister's baby. “Hey.” His voice cracks and you laugh.

“Cute. What’s up?”

Fixing his collared shirt he pushes his hair back a bit. “You’re dad is amazing. I mean it, but I need a little break.” Looking over, you find your dad already staring, foolishly sending two thumbs up.

“Ha! I get it. You can stick with me and Macy.” You coo at your niece as she drools down onto her bib. Instantly, you wipe her face. “Macy!” you screech as you softly pinch her chubby cheek. 

Charles finds himself staring, admiring, and he never wants an excuse to look away. He’s never been the kind to envision his future with someone, but in that moment, he could. He saw you both living somewhere small, and cozy, somewhere where he could stupidly - and greedily - just enjoy you for himself. He could see you both having a few kids to fill in family portraits. Sundays at the Observatory. 

“She’s cute.” Smiling you nod as you press a few kisses on the baby's cheeks and damn it, he won’t admit it, but he was just the tiniest bit jealous. Lucky, he thinks.

“Do you want to carry her?” 

Too afraid he steps back, creating distance. “I would just drop her.” 

“Don’t worry, you won’t,” you say as you hand Macy over to him. “Just make sure to support her head, please.” He does as instructed, but as soon as Macy lets out a little kick he almost finds himself purposefully letting go.

“She doesn’t like me, it’s fine!” Maybe he was a little afraid.

“She was only getting comfortable. Weren’t you Macy?” Your baby voice has him feeling more for you than humanly possible. Finally settling down, Charles and Macy grow into a comfortable position. Slowly, she begins to fall asleep.

“Thank you God!” you sister whisper-shouts as she lays a warm pat on Charles’ shoulder. “She doesn’t fall asleep with anyone, she must like you.” 

“Really?” This makes him happier than he’d like to admit. Maybe he could do the whole dad-thing one day. His eyes travel towards you.

Frowning you whisper to the baby, “I see how it is.”

As the night grows darker, you both, along with Macy, sit next to the bonfire. “Seriously, a fire during summer?” you groan as you lay against Charles' shoulder. He could do this.

“It’s quite nice.” You let out a small snort as you fiddle with the baby blankie. “Thank you for inviting me.” The shyness in his voice is enough to make your heart swell.

“Of course.”

You take Macy to change her diaper and you disappear when your sister walks up to him. Pulling out a chair for her she thanks him. “You must really like her.” Despite his better judgment, he doesn’t answer. “But it also seems she likes you. You both are very cute. How long have you been together?”

“Uh, I’ve only known her for a week.” 

Her eyes grow wide as she lets out a grin.

“Oh she really likes you.”

-

“Meeting the parents after a week and getting approval? 10/10,” George says as he claps. 

“This isn’t daycare, Georgie,” Lewis teases. His teammate immediately stops clapping. More questions are thrown his way but one makes his heart stop for a split second.

“Did you fall in love?”

And he doesn’t have to think about it, because he knows he did.

-

“Sucks that you won’t be here forever,” you whisper. Amidst of summer, you both decided to go to your nearest farmers market. Picking out some plums he pauses and hands you one. Wiping it a bit, you bite down and let out a soft moan.

“Very good, Charles,” you commend as he smiles softly.

“Thank you, maman,” he highlights. “My mom showed us how to pick good fruit.”

“Do you miss her? Home?” Helping now to fill the small paper bag he thinks about it.

“Oddly enough, no. I mean I do miss my mom, but not home. Not half as what I thought I would.” Handing the lady money, you thank her.

“How’s that?” As much as you sometimes grew tired of Los Angeles you knew deep inside that you would grow homesick. 

“You’ve made it pretty easy not to miss.”

Kicking a nearby rock you focus on the old man singing. “Very sweet for you to inflate my ego,” tossing the plum seed into the trash can you turn back around to face him. “I know you’re lying.”

He shrugs. “I mean it, but if you choose to ignore the truth…” Winking, he grabs the paper bag from you. “Hey, do you mind taking care of this?” The group of little boys sitting criss cross look up from their game.

“Sure?”

Grabbing your hand he takes you to the middle, where mostly elderly couples are dancing. “Spare me a dance?” Giggling you nod as you fit the small of your hand into his warm palm. Electricity shoots through you and if it weren’t for Charles flinching as well you would have sworn it was all a part of your imagination.

With his hands on your hips and your own lazily spilling over his shoulders you both sway. It's a rare focus of pure devotion, one that you’ve never felt. One he hasn’t either.

“Not too shabby.” Throwing a playful scowl he spins you before dipping you, hair flying as you let out a yelp.

“You’re going to crack her neck!” The small lady scolds as she looks over to where you giggle. “You’re lucky she’s alive. I’ve been dropped by that move,” she snaps as her husband holds her back.

“It was one time!”

Nodding, Charles brings you back towards him, delicately running his thumb against your cheek. “Didn’t snap your neck, did I?” The way he smiles is enough for you to lean into his touch.

“Nope.”

“So darling!” The old lady squeals as she places her hand over her heart. 

After a few songs you both make your way to where the little boys were sitting. “Charles, they stole our plums!” you screech when you find out the group is long gone. 

“Fuck. I paid them too.”

That night he invited you over to his hotel. “You can’t drive. Summer rain,” he insists as he points out the window of his room. Loud drops hit the glass.

“I would have been fine but alright,” you shrug as you jump onto his bed. “So what do you want to do? Pillow fight? Prank calls? Ouija board?”

“You’re sick.” He cracks a smile when you shrug. 

“Well I’m not tired so you better think of something!” 

Boy did he think. He imagined. He grew lustful, but no. 

“I know how to shag.” The blush that creeps onto your cheeks makes him choke. “Shag as in the dance! The dance. My mom taught my brothers and I. I could teach you…” You nod.

Spending time in a tight hotel room with a low tune and feet stepping over one another has to be the highlight of his life.

“I thought you knew!”

“I do! I swear!”

You groan as you drop against the bed. “Time out,” you say as you cross your arms as an X, to display your break. 

“Fine.” Since you both had not eaten much he decided to order room service. As you wait you both lay down watching old races of his. “Why this?”

“I want to learn more,” you explain as you hush him. The camera pans to a slightly older guy, extremely tan and extremely handsome. As soon as you catch a glimpse that he wears the same race suit as Charles you pause the screen. “That beautiful man is your teammate? The one you were talking about?” The tone of your voice has him groaning.

“Yes?”

“Wow,” you murmur as you softly touch the screen, eyes shining. Slapping the computer shut you turn to him with a sour face. “Why!”

“It’s weird,” he tries to reason. 

“So if I reacted like that to you it would be ‘weird’ too?” His voice hitches at your interpretation. Growing shy you look away.

“I guess I would be flattered to be noticed by someone like you.” In a single moment he leans in and kisses you and it's almost as if any other kiss he’s had would never compare. You feel it too, the way he lets you meet his lips as if he’s been waiting for this, as if he’s been craving you.

A soft whine is released as he towers over you, purposefully making you lean against his soft bed. Wrapping your legs around his waist, your skirt hikes up allowing him to grip your thighs. He groans when you begin to rub yourself against him. He can feel just how wet you are and it takes all of him to not flip you to take you from behind.

The door chimes. “Food delivery!”

-

“You knew when you first danced with her? I knew I loved Kika when she picked up my socks.” 

“It sounds like you really loved her,” Lando says. Love, Charles wants to correct, because only an idiot would ever stop, but he bites his tongue.

“What I don’t understand is why we never knew of her before this. Why didn’t you make it work?” Carlos says as everyone nods, sharing the same question.

“It was never going to,” Charles confesses. He wishes it would, he really wishes it still could, but it won’t. “That’s just the way it had to be I suppose.”

-

“Fuck, fuck,” you moan out as Charles wraps his hand into your messy hair. 

“You can take it,” he reassures you. I can, you cry out, mainly to convince yourself, but he’s just too big. Leaning back he spanks your ass before rubbing it.

“Did I hurt you?” he teases as you shake your head against the sheets. “Answer me.”

“No!” With all your power you rise up to your elbows before turning around to look at him with teary eyes. The picture you see is too much; snapping his hips against you he slips in and out in the most sinister way. Sweat covering his face but to you he was glowing. You squeal when he reaches over to push two fingers into your mouth. You gag around his long digits.

This makes you clench around him and he almost stops his pace to catch a break but the way you're moaning, whining, gives him all the strength to continue. You cough as you try to spit his fingers out. 

“You weren’t choking on my cock earlier, how is it that you are around my fingers?” His voice is nothing but the opposite of sympathetic and you love it. You shut your eyes as you force yourself to start to suck on them. “That’s it, baby,” he swoons as you take him just the way he knew you could.

Retracting his finger you find yourself missing them. He makes up for it when he pinches your nipples in a certain way that has you pushing your hips back towards him. 

“So fucking beautiful.” He mostly says this to himself, but it has you squirming underneath his touch. “You drive me so so fucking crazy, y’know? ‘Twas supposed to be here only for a couple of days, but fuck, it’s almost going to be a month.” You let out a pornographic moan when he slaps your ass before going in much deeper. You find yourself drooling by how good this all was. “You’re so fucking addicting.”

Harder, you wail as you reach up behind you for his hand. He lets out a deep laugh as he hands you a polaroid he took of you a couple of days ago. One where he’s fingering you in front of his hotel mirror.

In it you’re mid-moan, head thrown against his shoulder. It’s almost embarrassing the way you could see your juices shimmer in the picture. You snatch the photo before throwing it across the room.

He tsks his tongue as he flips you onto your back, swiftly pulling your legs up to his shoulders, the angle almost causing you to be completely smushed up against your thighs. “You didn’t like the picture, darling? 

“I do,” you pant, trying to catch your breath as you are now face to face with him. “It’s just too much all at the same time.” You bite down on your lip when his mouth forms an O, brows drawn together as he tries his best to appear intact, but the clear sight of having you underneath him is enough to cancel his acting debut.

Reaching out, he grabs your polaroid camera. “Guess I’ll just have to take another.” He smirks when you gasp when he holds onto your legs with the other arm, glistening muscles shining. You flinch at the cold jewelry that covers his beautiful fingers before settling back into a string of whimpers and pleas.

His grip is the perfect amount and you swear you are filled with pure adrenaline that you’ve never felt  with anyone. In the most professional manner he spits right into your pussy, only adding more friction than there already was. The warmth has you squeezing your legs around his shoulders, feeling his collar bones underneath. Your core grows tight.

“Shit, don’t do that,” he moans, eyes shut for the briefest moment.

“I can’t, I’m gonna…” You’re cut off when a sudden flash goes through. Wickedly, you find out he took a picture of your tits covered with his cum from earlier activities.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get prettier,” he murmurs as he gazes at the photo, his rhythm only growing faster, harder. He throws the photo - vowing to look for it later - before wrapping his hands around your calves. “You’re going to what?”

Cruel, you think, he’s being cruel. But you don’t give a single fuck, not even when he smirks. 

“I’m going to cum-”

“Go on then baby.”

Letting out the loudest cry you throw your head back as you gush around him, him following, and in the most unexpected manner he rubs your clit. This only adds to your pleasure as you are controlled with an unfamiliar feeling. You squirt all around him. 

“Fuckkk,” he groans as he snaps a picture of you midst squirting and moaning. Quickly, he places the photo on the nightstand before slowly pulling away, mixed cum oozing out. He brings his fingers to gather some before licking it.

“No more,” you weakly plead. He nods as he brings your legs down, leaning up to kiss your cheek before he kisses your lips. You sigh against him. 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he says when you kiss his nose. He feels your soft breath fanning him, he inhales your perfume, one that he could never forget.

“Ditto.”

-

“Would you have given up racing just to stay there with her?” Pierre questions when he notices just how serious his friend was about you. He tries to recall the last time he saw him like this but there was nothing that ever compared. It almost scared him, but he was mostly sad. Sad that his friend  was yearning for something that was never going to happen.

“Yes.”

“What stopped you?” Lewis asks as he leans against his knees. The room has grown more serious, suddenly filled with gloominess.

“It came to the point where she didn’t want me anymore.” His friends all frown at his response, growing more curious as to what happened, where did you mess up? “I get it though.” 

A glimpse of the art piece he first saw when he met you is hung on the wall, a reminder of what once was. That single piece of art was the only reason he even visited LA, if not, there wouldn’t be anything to tell. In a certain way, he’s thankful for the way things flowed because at least he had the pleasure of getting to know someone like you.

“Are you telling them the story of your month trip for my favorite painting?” Charlotte jokes as she enters the room with Lily. “You guys, he waited so long just to buy it for me, it was the most romantic thing ever.” She swoons as Lily smiles, unknowing of the truth behind the painting.

The guys instantly spring their attention back to Charles where he sits silently. He stands up, walking over and places a kiss on her forehead.

“I would do it all over again.”

[my-darling-boy]

It’s horrible how my design course has killed my enjoyment in creativity because all they want is finished pieces founded in nothing but a spontaneous mark just to hang at some concrete art gallery or to sell to some “join our revolution” comfy business-casual company with a prison cell wellness room. I’m not saying that it’s “not art” —cos that’s a different post altogether— it’s that the ethos behind this particular formula for art education is ruining the way we think about creation.

Design courses (and other art courses I’ve heard?) are no longer teaching artists or designers techniques, drawing skills, art fundamentals and allowing them to find their own voice so much as they are only instructing how to tic boxes alongside pushing corporate and classist motivated style/methodology bias aimed at producing workers, not creatives, not to mention providing Adobe with endless funds for their despicable scam programs. That’s it. My creativity is only a means to money for them, and if they can extract the process of creation from me without the complex creative intimacy involved in it, they know they can churn out products and services faster and it’s concerning some lecturers don’t seem to be aware this is what they’re teaching? Like they’re buying into industry propaganda?

And the whole time it’s sold to you like you can be some trailblazer when the irony is they’re usually either prepping you for cubicle work or for some misguided high horse creative team pumping out design solutions completely divorced from the reality. I’m tired of all the talks about sustainability in a vacuum with no conversation about nuanced designs that factor in broader social and economic perspectives which lack thereof is leading to sustainable products being sold at a price only able to be afforded by wealthier people who are causing said economic and social problems and contributing to the rapid obsoletion of trades and crafts. Lecturers and speakers don’t seem to think that’s any of our concern and should just worry about producing the design for the hypothetical Bluetooth powered organic hairbrush or using the twigs to make the pattern for the £85 fabric square.

Like? Can I please make something that actually resonates with people outside the circle jerk of egotistical creatives and corporations? Something charming and maybe idk something that doesn’t make me want to tear my miserable portfolio in half with my teeth? And they’re like Mm nope sorry it has to be an extreme close up of a mark making abstract leaf you made from a recycled trash bag inspired by a stalled urban space which we will force you to price at £100 during your exhibition 5 people will bother to attend and no you’re not allowed any other style cos this isn’t the Dark Ages :///

I think the worst thing my lecturer ever said was, while looking around the room of our class work reduced down to a series of cubes and splatters and abstract typography, “Wow, I love how you can’t tell what anyone’s [main artist discipline] is!” Like awww conformity at the expense of a person’s individuality to make pieces for airport hallways and rich people’s living rooms wow so cool heehee like girl that’s not good?? Why on Earth are you complimenting us for that? Like I get it, I thought this course would boost skillset as an illustrator (as we were told), turns out the degree is really not for me, fair enough to anyone thinking that, but forcing students to produce modern abstract art because you think it’s the ONLY Logical Pathway for the future of design, judging them intensely for doing a different style, and thinking producing financially inaccessible art + design is the solution to things like climate change and community severance is an objectively bad take.

[vimse]

Ah wow it’s almost 2025, which means it’s time for the yearly art recap. Time flies when you’re struggling through your thesis, but I’m very pleased to scrounge up at least one Tech drawing per month. I’ll do a (not so) short reflection about my 2024 art under the cut if you’re interested, but for now, I’d like to express my greatest gratitude for everybody who has stuck around and shared my art. Hoping that 2025 will be a more productive art year. Byeee 🧡

Tl;dr under the cut: ramblings about my struggle in school, 2024 highlights, hopes and dreams next year

—

Let’s look back at last year’s summary:

What's next in 2024?

More Tech. Some things I'd like to explore in 2024 is character drawings beyond portraits, anatomy, simple backgrounds, OCs, storytelling through short comics, TBB band au, and maybe some commission work

Well, safe to say I didn’t get too much of that done haha. The reason for that is I’ve been really struggling with my undergraduate thesis work in chemistry. I don’t really know the root cause of it, but I just can’t bring myself to finish it and I’ve been procrastinating badly, so much that I’ve missed two presentation opportunities. The third opportunity is within 2 weeks and I’m nowhere finished or ready. It has been a constant source of stress and anxiety throughout 2024. I got burned out by the end of May and went to the school counsel to hand in my resignation notice, but got convinced to stick around but to finish it at a later date, because this is literally the last thing to do before I get my degree. Then afterwards I decided to go back to my old job full time, which has been very tiring and took a long time to adjust to. This is very obviously reflected in the amount of full illustration produced during July to October, especially September when I couldn’t bring myself to draw anything beyond Tech’s hand lol.

If I don’t finish my thesis in time for this round, I think I’ll finally throw in the towel for real. Maybe I’ve doomed my future or something but…this experience has made me feel incredibly (and constantly) bad for a whole year, and it has affected every aspect of my life. I’m very tired of it. And although my current job is very tiresome and probably detrimental to my health, it pays well and the colleagues are wonderful. Additionally, it is a niche job that I have years of experience in, with good connections, so I’m not currently worrying about my future job at all. And it’s still within the chemistry industry, so all the time I spent in school isn’t going to waste. In regard to my future, I’m more worried about wasting all of it on a conventional 7-16 job, of which I don’t think a degree in analytical chemistry would help me avoid anyways.

Okay, I’ve rambled enough. If you’re still here, thank you. Now, let’s look back to some positive highlights in my art year of 2024:

I think I’ve finally reached the point where I’m content with how I draw Tech. As evident by the picture above, it’s sort of consistent too, which is a bonus.

I joined my first zine!! It’s the Pabu Days zine and I can’t wait for everyone to get their copy of it. Everybody’s pieces are amazing. I wish I did better/more, but the creation period was during the worst time of my year, mental health-wise, and I have to accept that it was the best I could do at the time.

As for the “masterpiece” of 2024, my most proudest work is the CX-Tech piece I did during the height of TBB season 3. I’m incredibly happy with how the rim lights turned out and the overall mood of it. Also the texture on the armour turned out sooo good, I can’t believe I was the one who painted it lol. I wish I could personally show the picture from my monitor, because all the details seem to disappear when viewed on tumblr. Below is the illustration I’m talking about, along with a side by side comparison to the picture I referenced the lighting from + some closeups. Looking back at it now, I wish I added a stronger frontal light source, so that the picture isn’t so dark.

Also, extra shout out to the back study series. I am traditionally not a painter (just grew up as an anime weeb) so making these this was an incredible accomplishment.

With that, I’m wrapping this very long post (sorry) with some 2025 hopes and dreams. Basically it’s the same things I wanted to do in 2024: improve anatomy, more background, work on OC, work on AUs. I want to try very hard to make commissions happen next year, if people are still interested. Something else I want to do that isn’t strictly art related is to connect more with people, especially with those who are still hyperfixated on TBB as I am. I find it hard to socialise on tumblr, but I try to be more social on bluesky. Idk, I think it would be fun to find a small active community that is maybe more focused on clones and oc stuff.

Okay, that’s all! If you’ve made it this far, thank you thank you thank you. Have a happy holiday and may your 2025 be a wonderful, wonderful year.

🧡 vimse

[queenkamisama]

idk how many of you noticed but Jason’s proportions (especially his arms) always seem so off to me. like if they doesn’t even care about basic human anatomy, they always give my man those underdeveloped(?) arms as if he was 4 or smth:/ are they always in a rush? or maybe they just don’t care. or they’re blind lol. if i were the artist in a company that is this big, i’d rather stare at my art for DAYS before i send them the finished piece. i’ve always been so critique about myself, i could work on a drawing for WEEKS (that happens me all the time cuz I’m never satisfied with my work) until i see it as “perfect”. i know that in the og mcl the proportions are really bad sometimes, but that was like 10 years ago and i just can’t believe they didn’t see this big deviation(?) (cuz when i saw the illu the first thing i noticed were his arms), or are they just really don’t care? btw this is NOT a hate post or anything like that, i’m just thinking loud as always lol

i know there’s a lot of work in these illustrations, most of them are beautiful, but sometimes i feel like they just focusing on the quantity not the quality (for ex. the paid packs are always more detailed than an episode outfit, but!! i already see some changes in the newest ep, because the clothes are really really cool!!)

anyways, i got tired of seeing my man with t-rex arms so i fixed it as much as a could!!

love u babe🦖💔

[qstea]

How would Killer (or hollow) Error, ink and Fallacy work with a s/o that’s extremely lazy yet extremely hard working at the same time? (Like they’ll have a years worth of paper work and they’ll finish that shit in three days)

✦ - ERROR

They’re used to seeing you laid back and tired all the time, not wanting to go reach your hand out to get the remote on the table a foot away, not wanting to get up from bed in the morning and asks for five more minutes and then takes two hours instead, that kind of stuff. Error had changed a bit of their schedule and living style to doing a lot more of the chores around your house in their free time, clean out your mailbox, and remind you of important things like what time your meeting at work is, or if you don’t have a job, the date of a very important test or quiz, etc.

And then they figure out you have a FUCK TON of paper work and they get ready to help you finish it ( aka do most of the work for you )

But as soon as they get into your room..

Error sees a mountain of paper work cast off to the side, and they walk over to see if any have been done.

Flipping through the pages, they see that… every. single. last. piece. is. DONE. FINISHED.

Absolutely fucking flabbergasted. For once in your life, you do some seriously hard and challenging work.

They wonder if you’re just using them as an excuse to slack off all the time, just to amaze them with how hard you can work at the most RANDOM, FUCKING. TIMES.

Watch out. They have their eye on you.

✦ - INK

Ink usually just lets you be lazy all the time, but occasionally forces you to get up and help him work on stuff like art pieces, scrapbook making, or just to go on a walk through some of his favorite AUs.

He’s pretty fine with a lazy S/O and works perfectly fine with one. Though, sometimes he forces you to get up and do stuff whenever he’s feeling especially energetic and hyper.

He does force you to get up from bed early and sometimes to go on trips with him or just for the hell of it cause he be like that sometimes.

Ink comes into your room with a scrapbook, ready to ask you to help him cut some pictures and glue stuff on with him..

And he sees how much stuff you got done in just a day!

Super proud of you, will definitely bring it up later in a jokingly way.

“You need help with cleaning up your room, [READER]? You could get so much done in a day! Remember how you finished all that work last week? I’m sure you can do it yourself!”

Note: make sure Ink doesn’t catch you doing anything productive.

✦ - FALLACY (Fatal Error)

Fallacy is fine with you being lazy, I mean, it’s not their concern and they aren’t bothered by it, so long as you don’t interrupt their work.

All they need is you to be at their side when they need it, and to just love you, how active you are isn’t really something they care for.

But it’s sometimes a thing they are confused about.

Sometimes you just completely switch up and work incredibly hard on something and get it done the same day you started, and then other days you can’t even force yourself to get up to get something to eat

Won’t ever speak or talk about it, but it’s just something they’re intrigued in. How exactly do you just.. be two completely separate things at the most random times?

[70spunkstars]

It’s really late and instead of sleeping or getting work done I’m daydreaming about a tired Hobie.

Just imagining him slipping into your shared room from the window after a long night of patrolling- of course you was up waiting for him (probably drawing or binging on Netflix) and he just flops onto the floor in front of you just EXHAUSTED. He don’t even say nothing he jus groans and you can’t help but laugh and help him shed his layers before searching him from head to toe for injuries and leading his sleepy ass into the bathroom then into the shower. Him layin in the bed while you try to finish an art piece but the more you ignore his groaning and whining the louder he gets until you finally cave (because how could you say no to him 😒) and join him in the bed. He’d probably mumble about how tired he is and how much he’d missed you then promptly shut his eyes and fall asleep after an “I missed you too” and forehead kiss 🤭

Written at 12:34 am and published at 4:26 pm

[thegothicalice]

Do you ever find yourself getting discouraged as an artist? I really want to make a sell a lot of art but I feel like I get discouraged quite a bit and worry anything I make isn’t going to be good enough.

By this point, not as much— tattooing for getting close to nine years has taught me to draw on command a lot, in addition to all the other art stuff I do because I can’t not create things— but being an artist comes with a bunch of imposter syndrome tendencies? I do art every day and accept that I’m good but always have room to improve and grow and learn, which will result in fuck-ups or even what feels like backslides. Sometimes I’m overthinking or wanting something specific and can’t quite puzzle out that gap between the technical knowledge and practical application and am convinced it’s a failing until I push through the block either by blind luck or many years of learned skill. The hardest thing’s always that your audience will never take the same thing from what you make as what you might intend, because taste is totally subjective. I think when it comes to selling your art there’s this discrepancy between your feelings and your potential buyers that you just kind of have to accept (I don’t know exactly how to word what I mean, hopefully this isn’t wrong). I’m always making stuff and tattooing is the bill-paying thing I know easily how to charge for but the big reason I rarely do commissions for other art is I don’t know how to price it.

I have a bunch of paintings in my space at work and each has prices based on one of three things— the “I like it but am willing to part with it for $$$” and the “I’m neutral on it and I’ve known it’s $$ since I finished it” to the “I’m tired at looking at it, it’s $ so get it away from me”— or even the “I’m gifting you this because I have three dozen pieces in my house and I want someone to love it more than I’m blind to it.”

I guess that last bit is the most relevant (since this is a ramble that’s possibly missed answering you correctly) because I make stuff that I’m not as pleased with compared to what I planned in my head, but someone will love it in a way that I never will and you just have to hope that that piece ends up with the right person. Best you can do is keep creating because making things, even when it’s hard or it’s not going how you planned, is good for you, and sharing it with others is worth it.

[leafatlaw]

Yayaay DANCE for day 1 of @mcyt-yuri-week !!!!

drew some gempearl (or is it pearlgem ?) because they are silly :333

art thoughts/process under cut

This piece took me like ~4 hours from sketch to finish and wow was it four hours. I *like* how it turned out but more than that I’m proud that I actually did it. This is the first real finished piece I’ve done in forever. And more than that this is piece I really experimented with. I’ve got an undercolor or whatever it’s called and colored the lineart( albeit quickly) as well. This is the first time I really tired using the lasso tools for certain parts and oh man procreate was not agreeing with me. I’m really proud of how it turned out even as I can’t help but see the errors lol. Anywyas love sapphics peace and love on planet earth.

[miguelsfangservice]

BEYOND THE SPOTLIGHT

Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!Famous Idol Reader

Warnings: Negative and positive stereotypes about the industry (idk, probably later in the story), and not the best english lol (sorry in advance). Summary: It doesn't matter he's at HQ trying to keep the multiverse afloat, your face, your voice, your smile and laugh follows him everywhere. No, he is not loosing it (yet); it's just that its kind of inevitable when most spiders under his command are... how did Gwen called it? Ah-staning you? Well, he can't really complain, it's his girlfriend,after all.

“The first time you hear it it may seem shallow, but I’m telling you,bro,when you pay close attention  it’s one of the best pieces of art depicting the oppression of individuals for expressing their sexuality, y’know what i mean.”

An awkward silence settled in the room before Pavitr and Miles let out some nervous chuckles.

“I thought it was a love story” Miguel's ears hurt just by hearing Pavitr retort with his mouth full of god knows what..

“...I’ve listened to it a couple of times and I have to agree with Pav.”

Before Hobie could open his mouth to reaffirm his earlier claim, Miguel slammed his fists on his desk.

“Do I need to remind all of you we are trying to have a serious discussion here?”

Silence. For at least a few seconds before Pavitr can’t resist anymore and turns to Hobie once more.

“What part of the song are you referring to, because I think-”

“It’s specially obvious at 1:30 when she sings-”

“Get out- If you’re not taking this problem seriously,OUT”

“ But I'm…” Miles tries to argue back, but at this point and with how exhausted Miguel is, he just doesn’t care about whatever they have to say.

“THE THREE OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT”

While leaving his office, Hobie and Pavitr still have the absolute audacity to continue their discussion in hushed voices (mostly Pavitr, Hobie does not care if Miguel hears him”; Miles doesn’t speak again but Miguel can see him trying to hide his amusement.

If Miguel had eaten anything, if he had gotten enough sleep or, most importantly, if he had seen you at least once today, he miiiiiiiight’ve been in a better mood to confirm that yes, Hobie was right, it was kind of your intention to convey those themes in your last single.

He would know, he was there giving you feedback  and taking care of you when you put your heart and soul into writing that song.

Also, even if he had the mood to discuss it with those kids, he wouldn’t try his luck and let them get suspicious enough for them to put everything together and figure out he’s been dating you for over a year now.

Miguel wouldn’t hear the end of it if any of the spiders knew about their huge and scary boss dating the “pop divinity”, the “fan´s delight”. Besides, it would get a lot harder for you to sneak into the HQ to spend some time together after your rehearsals or just when about every spider went home.

Although, he couldn't deny he was getting tired of keeping the relationship a secret; he hated hiding to every person he deemed close to him the fact that he wanted to spend the rest of his miserable (and probably very short) life with you.

But he knew you were not quite ready yet. Not until you were able to live with the fact that yes, your boyfriend is Spiderman, and he’s not only putting his life and sanity at risk in your universe, but also putting an unimaginable burden on his shoulders by trying to keep several other universes safe.

You already had a lot on your plate with the sudden burst of fame and all the work you were putting into creating your first solo album.

Sometimes, Miguel kinda wished you were still doing activities with your girl group, it put a lot less pressure on you and your health. But he felt guilty just for thinking about it.

This was your dream, having your own solo activities, showing the world your songs and what you were capable of. And he was so proud of you, so happy to see your face light up after you finished writing a song or when you learned a difficult choreography. 

Miguel O’hara had the heart of steel to do a lot of harsh things, to take the decisions no one else wanted to take for the sake of hundreds of universes and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to see your sad face if he ever questioned what you were doing to achieve your dreams.

“Lyla, I'll be calling it a night. Got to get home.”

Just when he was about to exit, she appeared right in front of him with a huge magnifying glass in which he could see her eye getting bigger, examining him; Miguel grunted and tried to brush her off as if she was a bug

“This early? Who are you and what did you do with my boss? I’m gonna put the emergency lockdown if you don’t answer me right now-”

“I’m trying to recall at what point of your creation I made you this damn noisy.” he hissed, walking faster and then swinging away from her. “Besides, no te hagas tonta (don't act dumb), you know damn well where I’m going and with who.”

“And I appreciate the trust you put in me by telling me your secret–” she started saying, solemnly.

“We both know I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“But, as your best friend and the one who knows you best–”

“Firstly, I don’t have a best friend and secondly, the one who knows me best is Y/N, not you!” Miguel interrupted and pointed a finger at her, trying to poke her, but his complaints were ignored as Lyla continued with her ramblings.

“I think I have enough authority in your life to give you some well needed love advice” Miguel couldn’t help but snort at the ‘authority’ affirmation.

At this point he decided to completely ignore her voice and focus on getting to your shared home; it had been a long day and all he wanted to do was bury his face in your shoulder and try to sleep with his girl by his side.

❃❃❃❃

A/N: Well, this is my first fanfic for the fandom. If you liked this, please, consider following, leaving a comment, like or reblog, I would really really appreciate it, specially cuz I'm not sure if anyone would like to read more about this.

[kkolg]

sorry I haven’t been posting art lately🧎‍♀️

I’ve gotten lots of exam’s lately and I’m working on a few big pieces that are taking time to finish along with the comic (batim followers I swear you’re getting content) it’s been a bit rough with everything and I’ve just been pretty tired. I hope you guys can understand that🙏 I want to start answering asks again later in the week but I can’t guarantee anything. Anyways thanks for sticking around and putting up with my bullshit😋

[writingwhimsey]

Married to The Enemy- Shingen Ch. 58

Chapter 58

Shingen found himself sitting in the main hall with Kenshin, Yoshimoto, Kanetsugu, Yukimura, and Sasuke. Apparently when Saki said she was getting things ready for Ava, she meant that it was so she and Ava could catch up. She’d shewed Shingen away from the bath reminding him that he and Ava had apparently already been VERY busy.

He honestly should have known that this is what Saki would be up to. Of course, Yukimura had wanted to talk with him as well. Yuki wasn’t good at expressing himself, but Shingen could tell that the younger man had been worried for him the entire time.

“So, what exactly did these future doctors say was wrong?” Yukimura asked. “And how did they fix it? How did they find it?”

“It was actually kind of fascinating.” Shingen answered. “They have technology that allows them to see inside your body without having to cut you open.”

“Wait…seriously?” Yukimura asked.

“It’s true. We have multiple pieces of technology that can do that.” Sasuke answered. “We have x-rays that are for seeing your bones. Then there are MRI’s and cat-scans and ultrasounds that are more for seeing your actual organs and such.”

“That’s…that’s crazy.” Yukimura replied, unable to picture it.

“Yes, and it was with these technologies, they found what’s called a tumor in my lungs.” Shingen answered. “They performed surgery to remove it.”

“Surgery? So…they like cut you open and it didn’t make things worse?” Yukimura asked.

“Yes…but it’s not like they cut me wide open. The scar is only this big.” Shingen was then holding up his thumb and forefinger just a few centimeters apart.

“I could have cut you open with less fuss.” Kenshin said, drinking his sake.

“Yeah, I think I prefer the fuss.” Shingen replied.

“So, what was this future like?” Yoshimoto asked. “What kind of art do the people create?”

“It’s a bright and peaceful place.” Shingen answered. “There’s all kinds of artificial light that makes night as bright as day. And they have entire buildings and parks dedicated to art and history.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Yoshimoto replied, his eyes lighting up.

“We even have people who can make a good living by practicing their art.” Sasuke added. 

Yoshimoto smiled. “I am glad to know that there is a time when artists are truly appreciated.”

“Sounds like Yoshimoto should have gone and probably stayed.” Yukimura quipped.

“I just can’t believe you brought a new person into my castle and you intend to have a screaming child in here as well, now.” Kenshin grumbled.

“Well, about that.” Shingen said. “We’ll only be staying a few more days. We’ll be returning to Kai.”

“You had better take this layabout with you.” Kenshin said, gesturing to Yoshimoto.

“We’re really going back home?” Yukimura asked.

Shingen nodded. “Yes. Now that I am well and we are having a child, there is no reason not to.” He answered. “Ava showed me around her homeland. I want to show her mine and raise the child there.”

“Does Ava know this?” Yoshimoto asked.

“Yes.” Shingen answered. “I asked her before we came back and she happily agreed.”

Yukimura smiled. “I hope Saki will like it.”

Shingen smiled. “Speaking of Saki, have you two gotten closer since I’ve been gone?”

Yukimura’s face turned red. “I mean…yeah, but I’m not going into any details.”

“Her parents came to visit a few weeks ago.” Kanetsugu answered.

Yukimura glared at Kanetsugu. “You didn’t…”

“You met her parents? That’s a pretty big step.” Sasuke said, looking at his best friend.

“A very big step.” Shingen agreed. “Did you ask for her hand?”

“What? Why would…no!” Yukimura shouted. “I just met them for the first time!”

Shingen chuckled. “Saki is going to be the one to propose.” 

“Definitely.” Sasuke agreed.

Kanetsugu and Yoshimoto were nodding in agreement.

Yukimura sighed. “You know, I’m glad you’re alright, but you could have just stayed in that future if you were gonna be like this.”

Ava and Saki…

Oba-san was tired from the trip and had gone to rest for the night. I had finished my bath and headed for the room Shingen and I shared. The doors to the terrace were open and Saki was setting up a tray with some tea and snacks for us.

I smiled at her. “You really did miss the girl talk.” I teased.

“Of course.” Saki replied. She set out two cushions. “Come on and sit.”

I laughed as I sat down. “So, how were things while I was gone?”

“We held it together.” Saki answered. “The Oda will be happy to see you tomorrow though. They have been getting quite suspicious over the extended honeymoon.”

“Thank you for covering.” I replied.

Saki waved her hand dismissively. “It will all be fine. Plus, well with you being pregnant now, that will add credibility to the story.”

I laughed. “Yeah…”

“So, how was it? I mean I know you were already from there…but how did it feel going back?” Saki asked.

“Honestly…it felt strange.” I answered. “While I saw people i had missed and whatnot… I just don’t feel like I belonged there anymore. There was some nostalgia, but…I felt like an outsider in my own time.”

“You’ve changed a lot since you first showed up at Hono-ji.” Saki said. “It makes sense that you would feel that way.”

I nodded. “Yes. I’m glad we got to go though and that I got to show Shingen around…and bring my Oba-san back.”

“I’m surprised you managed to convince anyone else to come.” Saki teased.

“I didn’t. She volunteered.” I answered. “I’m the only family she has left and I think…I think she wanted to spend time with me. Also…you know I am having her great grandchild.”

Saki laughed. “I can see how that would be an influence.” She said. “So, once you got Lord Shingen healed up, you two didn’t really waste any time did you?”

I felt my cheeks heating up. “I mean…he was feeling better…even better than he had before…”

“Wait, does that mean his stamina increased?” Saki asked, looking at me over her teacup.

“I mean…yeah.” I replied.

“No wonder you got pregnant so quickly.” Saki teased. “So, how excited were you when you found out?”

“Well, I was stunned at first, but then very excited.” I answered. “And Shingen was over the moon when I told him the good news. He was covering me in kisses and hugging me and spinning me around.”

Saki smiled. “Oh, I bet that was cute.” She said.

“So, what about you?” I asked.

“What about me?” Saki countered.

I frowned at her. “I mean you and Yukimura. How are things going there?”

“Oh well…really good actually. I’ve moved into his room with him.” Saki answered.

“Oh? When did this happen?”

“Honestly, not long after you first left.” Saki answered. “The Oda came very soon after you left and…uh that first banquet was a bit stressful for my poor Yukimura…and I took him to the garden for some fresh air…and some other stuff kinda happened and well…now that happens pretty much every night just behind closed doors.”

I blinked. “In the garden? Really?”

“What? It was the heat of the moment and I mean…he’s so cute.” Saki replied.

I giggled. “Well, apparently it must have been good if you keep going back for more.”

“Yeah…with as dumb as he can be, he’s actually quite smart when it comes to what to do in bed.” Saki answered. “He’s actually pretty good with his hands.”

I giggled. “See, now I can believe he’s Shingen’s vassal.”

Saki snorted, she laughed so hard at that. “He may not pay attention to Lord Shingen’s lessons on words, but maybe he paid attention to his lessons on the female body then? I might have to thank him.”

“Oh, please do and do it in front of Yukimura to make his face go bright red…and so I can watch so I can laugh at it all.”

Saki giggled. “Deal.” She replied. “Oh and my parents came to visit.”

“Oh? Did you introduce them to Yukimura?”

Saki nodded. “Yeah. They adore him.”

“How red did he get?” I asked.

“So red.” Saki answered. “I thought my mom was going to make him pass out at one point.”

I laughed. “Oh, that’s great.”

“Yes and now my mom sends little jabs in her letters for him.” Saki added.

“She so would.” I replied. Saki’s mom loved to show affection by teasing.

“Yes. Within five minutes of meeting him she was teasing him about us getting married and wanting grandchildren, though it didn’t have to be in that order.”

I giggled. “I’m betting you both turned red there.”

“Well, I mean…okay a little.” Saki replied. “But…I mean we haven’t really talked about those things.”

“You think you guys will get married?” I asked.

Saki shrugged. “Maybe…I mean I know I love Yukimura like I’ve never loved anyone else. But also you can’t rush these things.”

“Just know if you guys do…I think you’re gonna have to be the one to propose to him.” I replied.

“I mean…I am the one who had to make the first move.” Saki reminded me. “It would only make sense that I would have to be the one to propose, too.”

“I’m sure Shingen would give you his blessing if you asked for Yukimura’s hand.”

Saki laughed and shook her head. “Oh, I am certain he would.”

“Probably eat it up, too.” I said with a grin.

Saki giggled. “It seems the move here has really worked out well for the both of us, my lady.”

“Yeah.” I agreed. “Speaking of moves…how would you feel about moving again?”

“What do you mean?” Saki asked.

“Shingen wants to go back to Kai.” I answered. “We talked about it and we want to raise our family in his homeland.”

“Let’s see, my lady is moving and I am certain my lover will follow as he serves your husband… hell yes I will go.” Saki replied, smiling at me. “Besides, I am not about to leave your side. I did apprentice as a midwife before working in the castle.”

“What haven’t you done?” I asked her.

Saki shrugged. “What? There’s not too many career paths for us ladies. Maid, midwife, seamstress, housewife, cook, courtesan, etc. It doesn’t hurt to know a little bit of each.”

“Good point.” I replied. “Still, I’m glad you’re my friend and that you’re okay with moving again.”

Saki smiled. “You’re my lady and my best friend. I will follow you anywhere and support you no matter what.”

“Thank you, Saki.” I replied, returning her smile with one of my own. It felt good to be home in the Sengoku once again. 

“So, you looking forward to the banquet tomorrow?” Saki asked.

“Yeah.” I answered, thinking about all the Azuchi guys. That’s when it hit me. “You know…I think I know part of why I felt so out of place in my original time?”

“Why is that?” Saki asked.

“Because all of my family is here.” I answered. “I mean I still had Oba-san back in the modern day…but the big family I’d always dreamed of having, is here in this time.”

“Yeah, you do have a lot of crazy big brothers.” Saki teased.

“And a pretty awesome sister.” I replied, nudging her with my shoulder.

Saki smiled. “I always wanted a sister.”

It really did feel good to be home.

Taglist: @limonzu @zulablaise @oda-princess @kisara-16 @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @lucyw260 @selenacosmic

@bjorkshire-pudding @eventinelysplayground

[theswitchsteinenigma]

Yay I spent all evening on a sewing project that immediately was a huge fail and broke and I’ve never been more upset in my life I wasted time I could’ve been spending with my family working on something that now I can’t even show anyone because it failed I’m so sick and tired of trying so hard only for things I know how to do to work out so wrong it makes me feel like I never knew how to do these things in the first place. I hate everything I just feel like I’m not getting any better at anything I do I’ve been stagnant for years and in some cases I’ve degraded I feel like after 10 years my art isn’t anywhere near where I expected it to be and it’s just heartbreaking I feel like I’m just losing myself and theirs nothing I can do about it no matter what I do. I feel so ruined I don’t understand why this is happening to me.

well I’ll never have a disposable income so I really doubt I’ll ever make the art I truly want. Like I’ve found every cheap, recycle, accessible method of art supply curation and artistic creation and still theirs just something missing and it’s literally things I can’t afford that would make my art actually professional and I just don’t even understand how that’s the only issue. Like I can make anything out of anything and do so many cool skills I just don’t make things that look brand new and idk I feel like a lot of my creations are ugly it’s just annoying. Even when I buy like high quality fabric my issue is I don’t have a high quality sewing machine I have to hand sew things or just everything else is so much cheaper in comparison to the item I spent the most on that it just feels out of place and I’m just so lost on why people make making things look so easy but the reason their videos start off with a thousand dollar shopping trip of all brand new items it just magically looks a million times better. Theirs very few artist I follow or can find that create with low budgets and recycled materials I do but the few artist that do have a very established art style that incorporates that recycled look very well but makes it a brand new piece in a way it looks intentional. Like I can’t achieve perfect brand new, I can’t achieve artisan recycled, I’m stuck with just mediocre and only the stuff that has the least amount of work and the most amount of just purchased and put together things sells the best but the art I pour myself into just gets over looked or I just feel like it’s not really all that great to show off or like I don’t even want to keep it for myself because it doesn’t look the way it does in my head and I just feel bad throwing things away like I don’t have the money to just throw failed projects away so it’s just this big loop of being reminded I’ll always just be this poor artist and most of the people who buy art from me either feel bad for my situation or are utterly clueless about buying art and I was just reccomended by someone who feels bad for me so they assumed it would be a good choice and then they usually just ask for the most barren unlike me price ever and I put it out and just move along and they’re like hmm this is weird and doesn’t look like what you do because yeah even though I say I can draw anything that doesn’t mean I can promise you something in my style you asked for something you could tell by what I do that I don’t do that’s why it looks weird I tried but you like it enough to keep it just don’t really plan on getting art from me again because idk I’m not the most comissionable person for some reason despite feeling like I could make almost anything I’m asked. I’m just never asked…sadly it’s money related. My art just feels so stuck. Like I pride myself on what I’m capable of with what I have but it’s just alienating and depressing when I’m so over looked because my outcome isn’t brand new finished or perfectly artisan recycled. Too in the middle of those to look genuinely nice.

Do I even make any sense???

Xoxo- Switch.

[beacarrot]

It's brighter now >>>>> (yes, now i am)

Today, the morning will start a bit late,

The sun will wait for his eyes open to rise and awake.

No chains, no pain to bear,

You saw him once, now he’s with you everywhere.

Like pieces fitting, you just knew,

When you traced his jawline with a careful view,

You’d be a perfect film, in reality, outside of dreams,

His gaze on you, his touch sincere,

For the first time, no ghosts, no fear,

Our place, our steps, in precise gear.

I’ll touch your lips just to make it clear,

You touch his lips just to make it near.

You’d drive all night, sirens at play,

Seeing truths you questioned an endless day,

With open hearts, barriers shed,

Lights can’t blind you now; no, not ahead.

Your mark on his neck, the midnight cheers,

The toasts of dawn,

Forgotten magic tricks,

Made toasts, stored drinks,

A different look,

It's not a big deal,

But you've already accepted it in your subconscious.

All phases of the moon watched over you two, orchestrating the magic to unfold,

Every Wednesday night,

Small steps, you smile, he sees you,

You both dance but never move,

Old steps, but new dances,

In slow motion, this could be real,

No anguish left, no tears to steal,

It doesn't cause anguish, no more crying in the pub bathroom, you're addicted to just living,

The same red lips, goodbye, last cabin,

A simple touch, a dazed look, but he’s damn tired too

Of walking back,

Trapped in a snow globe where fog dims his view,

Then, you kiss, and the fire breaks through.

You argue, then joke about it,

You are willing, so you admit it, and you knew it,

You are in love.

Ignoring fragments that once lay shattered,

The body heals when lent is scattered,

Trained by the battle and worn,

No war lasts forever, you know it well

All the scorn,

Same old shit,

An old diary, secrets within,

You laugh when you remember you swore love was like this,

"Oh, my, love is a lie",

When cold on the street, that fake "man" who broke your heart,

With jabs subtle, sharp like art,

With some indirect detractions,

A gallery of bitter memories fades when shoulders touch,

Animated sounds fall hush,

It’s funny where fate has placed you,

A deep breath, a steady view,

Unsure and slowly he says,

For the first time true:

“I love you,”

As rain falls and the universe realigns,

You feel it’s real,

He’s in love, too.

I’ll lose myself in your arms to make this right,

You lose yourself in his arms just to make it right,

You’d drive all night, sirens’ song,

Seeing truths you’ve searched so long,

With open souls, walls down low,

Not even lights blind, not now, not as you go,

Hands linked crossing the bridge’s crest,

Your mark on his neck,

Midnight confessed,

Untold words,

Chilled nights, warm sunsets unfurled,

A touch, it's not a big deal,

But you've already felt enough.

The tips of your shoes touching the curb line,

Kisses stolen in busy streets' shine,

Presumptuous smiles,

Words unsaid,

Talks half-finished, but never drifting ahead,

When you place your hand on his arm with ease,

He hides a smile, pretending it's not because of it,

“Trouble at home?”

He asks, a look sincere,

And you feel safe, knowing time can heal, and maybe clear,

“Are you okay?”

He murmurs low,

You lift your gaze,

A soft, warm glow,

His eyes, a light you can now embrace,

And slowly you say:

“Yeah, now I am.”

And you know what it means,

You’re in love,

I’m in love.

(I wrote this poem, a kind of poetry about the same person I wrote "Wednesday" for. A special and equally passionate friend. Even though I'm so young I had my first heartbreaks and they introduced me to a world that can be painful, immature boys hurt even more immature with me, and this person who inspired me to write this track also went through difficult situations in this regard. And even though he and I are just friends, he really is fascinating and a source of inspiration for me, thank you!)

Signed: Beatriz Ranzonni 🩵.