#but I’m sure there was a hot second where he was like wut

[frownyalfred]

I can imagine the period of "Oh Lord please don't" of Lex figuring out that Batman wasn't an alpha and confirming that Bruce is the Batman, it's so funny to me for some reason

Lex watching the two “alphas” he dosed with rut accelerator start fucking instead of fighting to the death:

[borathae]

Chapter 11

You peek through the spy first. You aren’t that reckless. wattpad canon yn gotta learn from her

WHO IS IT?? no jimin pls old man?? is he evil and young like the queen in snow white

damn the familiar, letter and invitation everything just hits soo magical haha very old fashioned in a fairy tale way gregor pointing at himself is uwu pls im crying over a cute grandpa

“Ah, no don’t bow" ... “Of course Miss” .... bows again, same energy as dont apologize its ok, im sorry ..... oh sorry again

baby the old man is probably younger than him ACTUALLY NO ITS HIS DAD'S BESTIE family friends you know ahah haah ha 😃

Lace up boots with a petit heel and toe cap.OMG ITS SOO HOT MOMMY SHOES SHUTU P IM BARKING ALREADY ASAAAHAAJS

It looks handmade, all of it, DID HE DO THAT ?? “It feels wonderful on bare skin. You should try it out some time.” STOP I HAVE A LIFE Golden and the diamonds and pearls are clearly real. HOW RICH IS HE WTF

“Nope, I’m out”, you say and close the box quickly, “this is too much.” mood

OMG OUR BABIES FINALLY YAY HI KOOKLES

how did he not see/smell us???

“It’s pretty”, Jungkook whispers, fumbling with his thumbs. OMG HE SPOKE DIRECTLY TO US AND DIDNT RUN AWAY im selling my non-existent properties to him HOBI STOP TEASING THE BABY

“Two hundred bucks?” me if i win it: WE ARE RICH NOW WOOHOO

dont tell me hes gonna wear his old uniform haha “His grandfather served in the war. It’s his way of honouring him. Right Jungkookie?” right 😃😃💀💀 I bet your grandpa would be so happy to see you Jungkook” 😭😭 im dead pls

OMG TAE SEND US A WINK *FAINTS nooo we just got 2seokook for a second talk to them pls

what’s with this seductive intonation of ‘pleasure’ as if that means something to you?ofc she wont remember it ugh joon fuck you

poor yoongles being ignored tae: 😍 yoongi: -_- jimin: 😒 namjoon: 😏

FUCK OFF JAMAL boi wdym u can make it ur convo?? 👀😃🤨

ofc father louis williams suga adams junior the third wont like to dress up for the ball

It seems like everyone hated each other secretly and as if smiling was forbidden.  reminds me of tae saying friendship as a force of habit

hmm joon likes it U AINT FORGIVEN tho 😒🙄I TAKE THAT BACK

“Inspiring?” you make sure, laughing nervously, “you mean evil, don’t you?"  SIR??

very evil vibes, no more daddy vibes marty im scared pick me up

“what’s Gregor doing at her place?” ..Taehyung seems…frightened TAE IS SCARED THATS IT BYE IM LEAVING TO UM IDK MARS

Taehyung seems to visibly relax, even going so far as to exhale in relief.  phew we got 2seokkook to save the day

“Will you children be quiet for once?” Yoongi growls thanks HE IS THE MAN ONCE AGAIN, solved jinmin's petty fight (major??)

“Why is everyone staring? Continue you with your pointless existence, will you?” KING SHIT YALL

He disappears behind a pillar and then you can’t see him anymore. boi wut where did u go???

TAE IS SCARED AGAIN???? WHY IS JOON ANGRY they are almost hypnotising you, “yeah, okay better this way.” ok again this hypnotizing shit aah

wow we are going to make out here?? ok i will take that haha im not confused anymore haha, jokes aside is he hypnotizing us? cuz she is taking more time to think and just easily disregarding everything else

who's close?? jimin and joon?? wow shit seems so intense wtf its just gifts?? unless tae is broke and he took a loan for it

holy shit tae could be a whole ass kilgrave with the mind control. How long does it take for the power to wear off? was jin also controlled like that?

fuck jin's doing the same thing except he is trying to calm her down

fuck im so confused scared and slightly pissed

WHO IS IT?? no jimin pls old man?? is he evil and young like the queen in snow white

lmoaoaooa imAGINE FAHSDF

damn the familiar, letter and invitation everything just hits soo magical haha very old fashioned in a fairy tale way gregor pointing at himself is uwu pls im crying over a cute grandpa

like it's so romantic JFADJFJ my bitchass would fall so hard for it JFJDASFJ

Lace up boots with a petit heel and toe cap.OMG ITS SOO HOT MOMMY SHOES SHUTU P IM BARKING ALREADY ASAAAHAAJS

HAHHHA Not you going into horny mode JFJDS

It looks handmade, all of it, DID HE DO THAT ?? “It feels wonderful on bare skin. You should try it out some time.” STOP I HAVE A LIFE Golden and the diamonds and pearls are clearly real. HOW RICH IS HE WTF

NO BUT IT COULD ACTUALLY BE THAT HE MADE IT HE IS ALSO WAY TOO RICH *sucks his dick*

how did he not see/smell us???

boy was probably well fed and not feral for onCE jfjasdjf

“It’s pretty”, Jungkook whispers, fumbling with his thumbs. OMG HE SPOKE DIRECTLY TO US AND DIDNT RUN AWAY im selling my non-existent properties to him HOBI STOP TEASING THE BABY

he is such a shy bean in SA I sob :(

“Two hundred bucks?” me if i win it: WE ARE RICH NOW WOOHOO

NO BUT ME FR bro no joke I spend 2.200 € yesterday on new photography equipment and I would literally kill to randomly get 200 bucks :')

what’s with this seductive intonation of ‘pleasure’ as if that means something to you?ofc she wont remember it ugh joon fuck you

like ugghhh rancid nasty

poor yoongles being ignored tae: 😍 yoongi: -_- jimin: 😒 namjoon: 😏

lmaooa for real fajdsf

FUCK OFF JAMAL boi wdym u can make it ur convo?? 👀😃🤨

BRO IS SO CONFIDENT LIKE BESTIE.

It seems like everyone hated each other secretly and as if smiling was forbidden.  reminds me of tae saying friendship as a force of habit

mhmhmmmmmmmm

“Why is everyone staring? Continue you with your pointless existence, will you?” KING SHIT YALL

HE IS SO ANGRY IN SA I WANT HIM

wow we are going to make out here?? ok i will take that haha im not confused anymore haha, jokes aside is he hypnotizing us? cuz she is taking more time to think and just easily disregarding everything else

like the hypnotising has to STOP

who's close?? jimin and joon?? wow shit seems so intense wtf its just gifts?? unless tae is broke and he took a loan for it

lmaoo imagine 😭😭

holy shit tae could be a whole ass kilgrave with the mind control. How long does it take for the power to wear off? was jin also controlled like that?

LIKE LISTEN HE IS ACTUALLY SO SCARY *sucks his dick*

[andthebubbles]

yay i finished Crashing! eps 3-6:

okay so the biggest arsehole is anthony actually (like dude just grow some balls and break up with kate and get together with lulu, and also, grow up)

i thinkkkk sam had some ~character growth. the hospital scene with fred (the last one) was very cute. but if they had a second series i guess they would’ve dealt with sam properly acknowledging he likes guys too

the colin and melody storyline was.... wut? i’m not sure what either of them wanted throughout the show, but by the last ep they seem to have settled on... something. something that doesn’t have a label. that’s fine, it just took me a while to get my head around it, because their relationship went through so many ups and downs and twists and turns that i’m just like, ???

there was that moment in ep 5 after the big fight where sam’s standing alone in the big room/common area thing and i think he had a Think. sorta like, from then on, he’s still an arsehole on the outside but he... kinda learnt that his actions have consequences? and he has a real potential to be really sweet with fred privately from now on/show small flashes of it (but increasingly more)??? idk

i watched the sam and will kiss a few days ago already, and i watched it ... three times in one night... lol... and i also watched the fight/hospital vote scene a few times already, so that’s why i’m not commenting on it now. but it was ohhh so satisfying to get rid of will. also, sam’s jealous looks are *chef’s kiss*. and btw the vodka stuff he did with kate (i forgot the actual word for it lol) was actually hot, so, i’m gonna try find that gifset again of that moment and reblog it

btw the sam and will kiss and the hospital vote scenes are probably my favourite two scenes in the entire thing. and i do like the sam storyline best. duh. for several reasons. but i like to think that it was the best storyline................ but i’m not sure lol. i suppose the kate/anthony and anthony/lulu stuff was............ good? certainly lulu’s actor (yes i know her name i just cbb typing it) was really good, which probably helped carry that whole thing

yes i know this is a rambly mess

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Heya, could I ask for the ikevamp boys finding mc passed out at the table surrounded by work? Uni's been killing me lately. If all of them is too much then just Leonardo, Jean, Comte, Theo and Mozart? Thanks x

I cried five times while making this.

Dear Anon! Thanks sooo mush for the request. 😘I’m sorry for taking this looooong I also have a shit ton of work but HERE IT IS. I hope things get better for you and good luck!😘❤️❤️ I added a different type of uni to each of the guys just to make it interesting. @nad-zeta your daily dose of Theo. XD. Love you. Hope you enjoy! Ok here we go!

Ikevamp boys x an overworked mc

Leonardo

he just woke up from one of his naps and he decided he’s going to have a snack most probably mc

as he’s walking towards kitchen he spots you sleeping on one of the tables in the library surrounded by a huge pile of books, pens and papers

now he knew that you refused to give up on the uni you where going to when you came here but he’s still a bit surprised

he walks up to you and takes a peek at what you are studying 

architecture

more specifically some designs he came up with

*eyes emoji*

after the initial shock of finding out you where studying his work he smiles and picks you up and caries you to your bed

from that moment on he will always help you with whatever you are studying and always makes sure you take breaks

Comte

he was walking around socializing with the residents when he stumbled upon you snoozing on the dining table buried in a mountain of book

ha was aware of your studies and offered to let you off work completely

but you insisted on dedicating 4 days a week on housework

however this meant you had to study like crazy

when he saw you there he already knew what’s wrong

he panicked internally but calmly walked to your side

he didn’t insist one knowing what exactly you where studying but this was so convenient he just had to take a look

finance studies

well damn

finds it very amazing that you manege to work and study that at the same time

sighs and carefully picks you up and takes you to bed

after that he makes sure you get enough rest in between study sessions

he will spoil you a bit more and offer to help with your studies

Jean

ok so we know poor baby can’t read

he doesn’t get why you are so passionate about your university

what did you call your studies? Linguistics? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

he has no idea what you are talking about but he loves you and loves that you have a passion

when he sees you passed out in your room in a very uncomfortable position surrounded by books...

...panic

oh wait no panic you probably just fell asleep ‘cause you where tiered

wait tiered?

panic

he will pick you up and take you to your room, makes sure you are tucked it

from that moment on he will make sure you get enough rest

Isaac

precious little bean

on one hand he understands why you are so passionate about your studies on the other he is worried

one time you where working late into the night and he asked you to stop and you brought up the argument that he does the same

so he decided not to stop you

however when he finds you passed out in the gazebo...

nope.

he is panicked and scared and angry at himself for not realizing sooner

he hurries to your side when one of your books catches his eye

you are studying quantum physics?

say what?

ok he now has a whole lot of respect for you

he will gently shake you awake

“ Mmmhmm...I did my essay” “Y/N it’s me, wake up”

you immediately wake up

“ Don’t ever do that again. You scared me.”

Now you guys study together so cute

Napoleon

UMMMMMM boy

if he saw you just hanging off a table passed out he will have a heart attack

then he will realize that you are just sleeping and you are not dead so he will calm down a bit

he can’t resist the urge to take a look at what you are studying either

politics

interesting.

so you want a  politics degree

what you will do with it he has no idea. After all you are in a different time period, but he thinks  it’s good to have a goal

what he doesn’t think is good is over working your self

“nunuche wake up” “noooooooooo I won’t wake up unless you do what I do to wake you up”

so he will kiss you and you agree to wake up how adorable i  think i’m going to cry over my own work damn I’m weird  

If he ever see you looking even a little tiered he will steal you away and you will cuddle

Arthotthur

Heart attack nr.2

oh no wait my bird is just sleeping

he’s not happy

ok let me rephrase that

he’s happy that you are happy but he’s not ok with the fact that you have overworked yourself and on top of that he’s beating himself up for not noticing earlier

he’s debating whether you’d be more pissed if he carried you to your room* or if he woke you up when something catches his attentive eye

you where studying to get a bachelor's degree in English whaaaaaat!

will go through your notes and

when he finds out you want to become a writer.....

Omg fanboy mode: activate

“ I didn’t know I had such an effect on you Luv”

you: say wut? Arthur I became writer because I wanted to

Now you two run around n the corridors smiling like dorks and narrating random events when your free and he writes next to you when you study   ( to keep and eye on you. He loves you so much)

* if that doesn’t apply to you I’m sorry. I try to write from another persons prospective, but a lot of my writing is based of my reactions to a situation or my personality. In this case I’d be pissed if he left my stuff there or went into my room ( it’s my sanctuary ok my disaster). And waking me up oh no bitch run. But on a serious note don’t be mad if it doesn’t fit your description, and if it didn’t and you want me to change something feel free to let me know. Ok next victim:

Theo

to say he’s pissed is an understatement

he’s pissed at you for taking it to far but he’s pissed at himself a lot little more for not noticing sooner

like his bff he’ll also be contemplating taking you to bed rather then yelling you awake like witch one will end up in a bigger slap

then he notices what you are studying

art

when you are done with this you are literally going to get an art degree

Theo ex. has stopped working

he is getting emotional on the inside

 will gently take you to bed and tuck you in

he’ll pat your head “ Creative Hondjie”. He has such a gentle smile on his face god I can picture it I’m crying

from then on when you have a project he will help criticize you and he will help you progress with your art

 will be keeping an eye on you 25/7 yes 25 this guy will create a time loop if it meant that you had more time to do the things you love (ahem Theo) xd  no

all in all he will be just a little softer with you, but only you. And will also deny it if somebody points it out

Vincent

Let’s all just sit down, take a moment and appreciate Vincent

He will see you passed out and he will PANIC

he will rush up to you and make sure you are ok

also waking you up in the process

he will ask what you are studying

“sooo you want to become a chef��

Pffffffff we all know poor baby is parallel with cooking

like he will burn water

is super supportive tho gee who would have thought

this boy is an angel and will help you cook

Jesus I hope Comte has fire insurance

you have a lot of fun with him and he will actually end up learning a few things form you.

will make sure you never overwork yourself again

 Dazai

this dork almost stepped on you

you had passed out under you window , ‘cause you had been studying on the floor

and this guy came waltzing in through the window

“Toshiko-san? Toshikooooo shit”

*cricket sounds* yup

he will squat down next to you and poke your cheek

“ what are you doing on the floor?” you: “what are you doing in my room?”

OOOOH GOT ‘EM

you two of you will laugh about it and he will ask you what you are studying

you proudly shove your text book under his nose

“ well well Toshiko-san want’s to take care of small animals?”

you: Yes, like Isaac

he’s not really fazed by you falling asleep but  will make sure you don’t overwork and if he sees you getting tired he will crack a few terrible jokes to lighten your mood and then he will proceed to steel you away

Mozart

ok now clean freak here is going to be worried

not panicked just worried

uhum Wolf you keep telling yourself that

you where studying in the music room while Wolf was playing

suddenly he heard a thump

he stopped and looked around only to find you passed out on the table

seems like the all-nighter combined with the music led you to fall asleep

he’s frozen for a hot second until he realizes you are just sleeping

he will slowly walk up to you and poke you with a broom ‘cause he doesn’t want to touch you

Jkjk

he will go up to you and gently attempt to shake you awake when he notices what your studying

 you where studying music

“Marry me?”

he will wake you up and question you about it

from that moment on he actually helps you a little when you don’t get something and you study in the music room at all times because” it’s noisy outside”

we know you just care about her Mozart

Sebastian

he flicks your forehead

that’s it. Thant’s the canon

no I’m kidding he knows how much you study and is worried about you even before you pass out

and when you do that’s it

he scoops you up and takes you to your bed

he only flicks your forehead when you wake up

yeah you get an ear full from him

he asks what you are studying and tell him you want a degree in history

ok suddenly he’s not mad at you

from that moment on he always makes sure you are not over working

he actually shows you his notebook and you find it fascinating 

now you both collectively stalk the residents

William

y’all aren’t ready for this

when he sees you passed out in the garden he’s ready to pull out a gun and kill anyone and everyone who dared harm you

then he realizes you’re actually sleeping and he calms down a bit ( he’ll keep the gun tho shhhhh don’t tell Comte)

he will gently pat your hair and just look at you

when you wake up he will ask you what you are studying

you are a complete blushing mess when you tell him you want to become an actress

he’s shooketh and also really happy at the same time

now he takes you with him to the theater and he gives you a role to play and he watches while you practice

he’s also super attentive and will never let you overwork yourself again

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Stay safe everyone! 😘😘😘

[ashtonq247]

Kaminari Denki headcannons!!

Bc it’s his bday and I love him (this will not cover his fam bc I switch between backstories with him so much that I just have no clue)

Buckle up bc this is a very long post I did not mean to get this deep lol

Let’s start with the most obvious- he makes friends easily, but I’m not just talking other students, I’m also talking the staff. This boy makes friends with the janitors and the lunch ladies and even the teachers!! He also makes friends with the security bots and pranks them a lot

This stems from him wanting ppl to like him. I think this bc of the fact that his character sheet says he likes all things “trendy” - I think he rlly wants to be known as the cool guy bc he is rlly insecure of himself

And as much as I think he is very trendy, I also think he is a big literature nerd! I believe he is more likely to listen to audio books tho, but I’m not entirely 100% sure though. He tries to keep this underwrap, but eventually he does join momo’s book club and brings completely different analysis to the table :D

He is just generally into the arts (we see this in cannon- he plays guitar, is seen drawing Aizawa, references Hemingway) so I see him as a more creative guy rather than a logically minded dude

This boy has adhd, anxiety, and dyslexia and dyscalcula (he was able to work through dyslexia bc he read so much, but still has problems with his dyscalcula) and this causes issues for him in school. He also a HUGE procrastinator. He often feels stupid and dumb bc if it (also doesn’t help that even his friends joke abt it too, but as long as it’s just a joke he shouldn’t make a big deal abt it right??)

I say he has anxiety because of the way he reacts to when he is training- always panicking and frying his brain. I think what stans between him and being rlly op is his anxiety and view of himself

Speaking of him frying his brain, I headcannon he has litchenburg figures, which if u don’t know r these rlly cool scars that look kinda like branches with what kinda looks like flowers so cool tbh, and BEFORE u say “he obviously doesn’t have them cannonly” let me just say that his quirk affects his brain cannonly!! It’s not weird for it to also affect his skin!!! I think he might have had litchenburg figures if they were more commonly known as it is a very cool thing tbh

I also think that bc his brain gets impacted by his quirk, sometimes his nerves get impacted too. This means he sometimes can’t taste food (and he doesn’t eat it when he can’t taste it, which pisses Bakugo off) and he also can’t feel things as well (I believe the class figures this out after Denki went to poor himself some tea but didn’t know the kettle was still rlly hot and so he grabbed it not knowing he was burning himself until he handed it over to someone who then dropped the pot bc it was so hot- needles to say he had to go to recovery girl that day)

He has never been to the aquarium bc as a child he had terrible control over his quirk and that made ppl nervous to put him near water (he goes as a teen with the bakusquad and is absolutely floored- his favorite creatures are of course all the sting rays, jelly fish, and electric eel- cue bakusquad comparing him to the brainless jellyfish)

He also doesn’t know how to swim till he was in middle school (once he was in better control of his quirk he went out and learned to swim on his own bc he had to learn how if he wanted to be a hero u know? He never quit got the hang of it tho)

Storms make him very energized and his already low ability to focus worsens. Prone to accidentally zapping ppl. He mostly stays in his room when storms happen bc he doesn’t want to hurt ppl/ wreck electronics on accident. He doesn’t even get to chat with friends on the phone bc he would wreck it so storms get rlly lonely :(

Also is basically a lightning rod. It hurts bc of how forceful it is, but it’s also not that big of a deal to him

Is prtty forgetful unfortunately due to all the times he fried his brain. It’s something he really tries not to think about

He probs can’t sleep very easily due to all his energy

He hates frying his brain bc it’s very hard to understand what’s going on when he does. Everything is a lot more sluggish and things are simultaneously way too much and he gets hyper sensitive and at the same time his senses are also very groggy and weird. It’s over all a bad time, but he got used to it

Whenever he fried his brain instead of being all wheyyy and thumbs upy he use to act more vegetative which rlly freaked ppl out so he eventually learned to get to where he is now when he fries his brain

Kids use to take advantage of his whey mode and do pranks on him which often got him hurt, but he never rlly felt it at first so he didn’t mind to bad. As long it was just joking and they were having fun right??

Time for happy ones!! His favorite foods (besides burgers, those r his favorite cannonly) all have some coralation with memes (speggeti tacos, mac n cheese, “chonky” milk, chicken nuggy, etc)

He is a meme lord yes

Stans pikachu (obvi)

U cannot convince me that he doesn’t paint his nails black, maybe with a little lightning bolt on his middle finger. This boy cannonly wears a choker common

He does face masks with Mina!! I believe he cares abt his looks greatly, and does beauty routines with Mina all the time. I’m constantly switching btween wether or not he owns it, or is a bit insecure and tries not to show this side to much to the boys

Why does this show not give him skinny jeans?? I mean common his entire style calls for skinny jeans. Maybe it’s Japan fashion or smth bc if it was in America he’d have skinny jeans bc it’s the trendy thing u know

Cannot cook. Can barely work the microwave. Claims unmarked food and eats it at midnight

Has a lot of weird info stored in his brain- how weather works, psychology stuff, weird facts abt bees, etc- that he learns randomly, never rlly trying to learn them but it sort of just happens u know. This frustrates Bakugo and jirou to no end bc he knows all these useless facts about how 1,200,000 mosquitos is all it takes for them to all at once drain a human of all their blood in a second, but not about how to work the pathagorean theorem

Idk why I think this (and it’s a popular headcannon too), but he knows at least 3/4 languages. It just suits him?? Bc he is a ppl person??? I don’t know??

Gets major test anxiety

Teachers either love him or hate him no in between. A lot of his elementary teachers absolutely hated him and would tear him down by calling him stupid and annoying. In middle school when he learns to control his quirk better, teachers rlly liked him- in the way that class clown trouble makers are liked by teachers. He may not excel in his class but he is a pretty funny dude.

He is constantly either underestimated or overestimated. Kaminari himself does this as well. It’s part of the issue with his hero training

Cats do not like him. They may like being petted bc if the static electricity, but when Kami pets cats he just absorbs the static- no pleasure :(((- or he accidentally has too much static electricity. If so then only tge rlly fluffy cats like him. Either case, shinsou finds a cat that likes kaminari as well and it is very cute :33

THE class prankster. Even on the teachers! The death glare Aizawa gave him on the one time prancing him worked is one kaminari will never forget (he still tries to prank him despite this lol)

Constantly teasing Bakugo as a way to press his buttons. It’s debatable on wether or not this helps bakugo’s anger issues

He is the wingman between Bakugo and Kirishima change my mind!!

Also mandatory kaminari is bisexual headcannon bc he rlly gives me those vibes. I think he doesn’t know yet that he’s bisexual, and when he thinks a fellow bro is hot he thinks he’s just admiring his bro u know. Maybe even thinks he is jealous. He does flirt with all genders tho mostly as a joke. He draws dicks as jokes but he always puts a little too much detail in them for him to rlly be straight

Can be used as a defibrillator as long as he can focus

Honestly there’s so much stuff kaminari has the potential to do with his quirk it’s a shame the manga/anime doesn’t use it

Like I rlly want to see him use his quirk in training to blow out all the lights in a building so he can use it for his advantage

That’d be badass

Also his quirk makes him very hard to be caught when their training. He can slip out of ppls grasp easily with a shock, and he also just has good reflexes in genral (I think this is cannon). Cue class 1-a running around trying and failing to catch him lol. Their best bet is to get him to fry his brain :(

He was popular in school before UA bc of his quirk and bc of how charming and easy to get a long with he is. This lead a lot of his friends to be very shallow. He didn’t rlly think about wether or not someone was trying to be his friend or not, he just liked being liked. This lead him to his whole liking trendy things, and he often felt that if he wasn’t seen as cool or funny his friends would all leave him. His whole rlly liking to talk thing caused a lot of ppl to think he was annoying at times, but he was never rlly able to lose that trait

The bakusquad was the first friend group he got rlly close too. He felt he can be himself around them and be the crackhead he was always meant to be. He still always concerned about wether they might leave him if he’s too annoying bc of anxiety but he’s getting better :)

He is a bringer of chaos and that’s part of his charm! Never dull with Denki around. He’s always doing the weirdest stuff, and ever since Mina, Kiri, and Sero, this has only doubled!

He is always calling Momo a genius (bc she is) and they are rlly good friends

Is an unofficial emo squad member (just look at his hero costume)

A sinnamon roll I’m srry but he ain’t a cinnamon roll. He has a dirty mind lol

Peepee jokes

Probably does tik tok dances I’m sorry

Nintendo fan for life

Xbox or PlayStation?- “Nintendo wut u mean”

Abbreviates so much it’s kinda hard to read,. Like if u thought I was bad this boy is soo much worse

It’s kinda ironic bc he has a very large vocabulary lol

He only uses it when he’s being sassy or very passionate

Mixes his gen z lingo with his big brain vicab to create atrocities of sentences

”bro the rise of the proletariat is lit tbh”

He is the worst to text with. He gives Bakugo aneurysms

Yeet yote to be yoted

3am shower thoughts

Unpopular opinion: i don’t think he likes weed. It probs reminds him too much of his whey mode

He’s a good strategist, but let’s the other team members think of the plans bc of insecurity, and otherwise his anxiety causes his smartness to shut down

Very good at zoning out. Sometimes he accidentally zones out so hard during class he misses the entire lesson and is only brought out bc of the school bell. Aizawa is best at snapping him out of it

Tbh I don’t think UA would be good with mental health. You’d think they’d hire a professional therapist or smth, but maybe it’s bc hero’s are so glorified ppl don’t ever think about these issues

I doubt the teachers had very good teacher training u know

We’ve mostly seen young heroes. I bet that’s bc they die so often, and if they don’t die in battle the mental health issues that stem from trauma and the media’s pressure are such an issue that it’s not uncommon for hero work to have high suicide rates

Anyway I’m starting to lose track of things thanks for coming to my ted talk I think I’ll stop here

[join-the-joywrite]

Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Here's another first words au, but with some key elements suggested by a literal ball of sunshine and a source of incredible joy for me

So anyway, I spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this one and whether to do it as a non-magic/knight au or stick somewhat to cannon before finally coming to a decision -- and I'm not even sure it was a good decision sksnsjwn. Geronimo!

You're born with a tattoo on your arm, the first words your soulmate says to you.

Vera's born with her arm bare. After searching the rest of her, the midwife confirmed that no, the baby girl has no markings at all, no shrunken words that will grow to readable when she grows, no hidden words tattooed where everyone else's wasn't. It was believed that perhaps her soulmate hadn't been born as yet. That happened, right? Soulmates could change, right? It didn't mean she'd be alone for the rest of her life, right?

Vera grew up with the lack of a soulmate being a key factor to how people saw her. Other kids didn't bother with her because who wants to be friends with the girl who doesn't even have a soulmate? Vera hardens up from a very young age, pissed at everyone around her for trying to dictate her life and her choices around a stupid tattoo.

So what if she didn't have a single word etched on her body? It wasn't going to stop her from living a full and happy life. Vera's happy little life is shattered the day she tells her boyfriend she's pregnant and she never hears from him again.

But that's okay. It's not like he was her soulmate, the one person who was supposed to be with her no matter what. It's okay. She'll be fine. She'll manage.

Vera's very last bits of positivity and hope dies with her daughter. The world sucks and everyhting in it sucks worse. Bitterness starts to grow, from being born with her skin bare to realising that she was going to have to look out for herself always. Alone.

If she can't have people and love in her life, she's going to have a name and money. So she goes after it like a moth to a flame. She throws everything that she is into her studies, makes sure she gets all the right grades. She studies people, too. She knows when to smile, when to laugh, when to tear up. She knows what to do to get reactions she wants.

Vera learns how to dominate a conversation and she knows how to always seem like the most intelligent person in the room. She's yet to meet anyone who sees through her pretty lies.

Hamish is young. He's planned to get into law and he's convinced he's going to be the best out there. The only thing he's not certain about is the fact that the words on his wrist reads "oh shit-fuck you're sorry I'm hot"

He's hoping it's a misunderstanding of some kind.

It's his second or third month on campus and he's walking with his nose in a textbook when he collides with another book-sniffer, only Hamish meets the ground and decides to lay there for a minute.

The girl he bumped into quickly starts mumbling curses to herself as she gathers up her book, then his. "Oh, shit-fuck," she says when she realises he's still laying on the floor. He squints in the sunlight. "You're sorry, I'm hot."

There is a brief pause. "I mean! I'm sorry, you're hot! Wait, that's not much better."

Hamish laughs. "That -- that makes a lot of sense."

"Wut?"

Hamish accepts her hand up and shows her his wrist. She gets excited when she realises it. She starts talking about how she's wondered for so long what the hell could've possibly been said to warrant the words on her wrist.

A minute and a half later she realises she hasn't actually introduced herself yet.

It's a few months later, maybe four or five, when Hamish visits Cassie at the den instead of the usual places -- the bar, the grounds, his apartment, her dorm, even a few classes. The guy she's staying with, Nico, introduces himself as Cassie's brother.

"I didn't know you had a brother." "I don't. He just drinks my beer and passes out somewhere in here. Anyway, Nico, this is Hamish."

"So, you're the little shit that's got all my sister's attention." "I would hope so."

Nico takes to Hamish immediately. He thinks Hamish is hilarious and a really great person. Nico pressures Cassie into telling Hamish about the Knights. Eventually, she chooses to listen and the two of them take Hamish down to the hide locker.

"There's three hides in there. Silverback, Tundra, and Greybeard. Good luck."

Tundra's the one that chooses Hamish and it just feels so wonderful to have a family -- a pack.

Nico is the first to die. Cassie is devastated. Even Hamish, who'd only known Nico a month, maybe two at best, is struck hard by it. Nico goes out protecting the pack -- as Midnight often does.

For a long time, it's just Cassie and Hamish. The den gets really quiet and on those days, they sit just as quiet, lost in their thoughts. Cassie rarely ever speaks to anyone but Hamish. He's the only person that could even begin to understand how she feels about losing Nico. Despite all her talk, she loved him as one loves family.

It's almost a year later when Hamish becomes the only Knight.

Hamish stops talking. He never asks questions in class anymore. He never answers any either. Cassie was his whole world. He loved her more than anything or anyone in his life. He should have been there. But she'd wanted to go alone. She said she could handle it. She couldn't and Hamish sat alone, toasting to Cassie's life by himself as he looked at the lockers.

Do you know that feeling when you're just so fucking hurt and sad, that even opening your mouth to breathe is exhausting? It takes so much energy to speak. Why even speak? Who's going to listen? Do you know that hollow feeling after you've cried for what feels like hours? That emptiness that follows when you realise that what you had is truly gone and you are never going to get it back?

Hamish hasn't felt any different since Cassie died.

Hamish doesn't look at his wrist anymore. He's certain by now the words have faded. He can't look because looking means he'll see the blank wrist and seeing his blank wrist means Cassie is really truly gone.

Hamish drops out of law school and picks up something else. Something that requires less talking. Somewhen along the line, a TA position for a lecturer of his opens up. Hamish ignores it.

Hamish has been at Belgrave for three years and Vera for seven when they finally collide. Literally. Hamish recognises her. She's some super smart final year student or something. He's pretty sure she's trying to take over the university and he's pretty sure no one's going to get in the way trying to stop her.

He means to apologise but like every other opportunity he's faced with, the words don't make it past his throat.

"Fuck this bullshit," Vera says to herself before deciding she wants to relax on the grass for just a moment. The busy life can wait a while. She glances at the tower of a man. "Don't make me look like an idiot, get down here."

Hamish doesn't know why he sits. But when he does, he realises it's quite peaceful.

"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Hamish shakes his head. "Can't or won't?"

Hamish opens his mouth slightly, inhales, then closes his mouth. He turns his head the other way.

"Won't, I see. That's fine. Some quiet is welcome."

They lay on the grass for a few minutes, avoiding the sun in the shade of a large tree. The grass is soft, the air is light, the shade is cool. For the first time in what feels like forever, both of them feel peaceful.

"This is nice." Hamish nods. "I'd love to do it again. Here." Hamish frowns at the phone she hands him. "Put your number in. Even if you won't talk, I'm sure you can text, right?"

Hamish nods slowly.

Three days later, he gets a message: I need to rest but there are too many other students and I don't want to look like a lonely loser. Followed by a location link.

They lay on the grass until Hamish has to go to class.

Hamish doesn't visit the bar anymore because he can't go in there without seeing Cassie and Nico. Both are equally bad. He didn't deserve Nico's sacrifice. He was supposed to look after Cassie for Nico. Vera doesn't visit the bar because there are too many people in there and she'd really rather not get distracted by another breathing thing.

But she goes to the library and there's Hamish, sitting alone, head in a book. Vera takes the books she needs and sits across him. She doesn't say thing. She doesn't need to. Hamish usually drowns out the sounds in the library, but theres something soothing about the rhythmic clacking of the keys on Vera's laptop and the odd turn of a page when she pays attention to the book beside it.

It's almost thirty minutes later when she nudges his foot under the table and turns the laptop to him. In a bright pink font at the top of her essay is: Check for me, please?

Hamish can't help the small grin of amusement as he sets his book down and pulls the laptop towards him. Vera reaches over and pages through Hamish's book, making sure not to loose his bookmark.

They do this often. So often, that they've learnt each other's schedules without even realising. Sometimes Vera will go to that spot under the tree and pull out her phone to text Hamish, only to already see him approaching. Sometimes Hamish walls into the library wondering if perhaps, he should send Vera a message, but she's already there, working on some assignment or something with a deep frown on her face that vanishes when he sits down.

Hamish is walking Vera to class one day and she says, "You know, for a guy who doesn't talk, you sure find a way to say a lot of things." Hamish is confused because he's literally never said a single word to her. "Ex-girlfriend?" she asks, pointing to Cassie's favourite ring on a chain around his neck. Nico had given it to her for her birthday but he'd got it a size too small so she wore it on a chain. Hamish looks away. Vera studies him. ".... dead . . . girlfriend?"

Hamish nods very slowly.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Hey, have you ever been to a PR Management class? You'll like the lecturer. Come on."

The next time Vera is walking him to his class, he pauses before the door, holding a hand out to her. "Psychology 212, why not?" Vera spends the entire lesson drawing flowers on the back of Hamish's hand.

It's that night, when he's sitting at the den, that he looks at his hand. The flowers are already fading away, but they're so pretty. For the first time in years, he turns his arm over. He kind of hopes to see his wrist blank, because he's starting to really like Vera and he doesn't want to stay hung up on Cassie. It wouldn't be fair to Vera.

His wrist isn't blank. Instead, clear as day, the ink reads: Don't make me look like an idiot, get down here

Hamish's phone rings. Had Vera's name not been flashing, he wouldn't have answered.

"I know you won't say anything but I need someone to talk to. Someone who'll listen." And then Vera tells him about her day. Even if he did plan to respond, Vera didn't even pause for a breather. She tells him about this stupid professor that was hitting on her and she tells him how she thought about kicking him in the nuts but the classroom still had a few other students and she didn't want to gain a violent reputation. She tells him about how she went to the library to study but some fucker stole her desk. She tells him all sorts of trivial things. And then she starts. She's tired. She's exhausted. Not to mention, being in the Order is hard work and that's the one thing she's not going to tell Hamish about. She doesn't want that sweet innocent boy tangled up in the Order's drama and danger. But she tells him how everything else is weighing on her and she's set impossibly high standards for herself and people expect her to meet them and she's just tired. "I'm going to send you an address. Please come."

When Hamish ultimately decides to go, he isn't sure what to expect, but it certainly isn't five boxes of pizza, four two-litre bottles of soda, two wine bottles, and a list of three movies to choose from.

"I'm breaking up with my degree" Vera says when she answers the door. Hamish nods. Yeah, he can see that. Hamish doesn't think he's ever seen Vera in sweats and with her hair untidy. "You gonna help me eat all this or stand in the doorway forever?"

They end up watching all three movies. Vera says she'll clean up when the sun comes up. She burrows into her blanket and curls up against Hamish. "As far as first dates go, this was kinda nice."

Everything gets easier. They know where to find each other. Vera's even learnt to speak Hamish. She says she's naming the language after him because no one else can speak with the strange gestures and eye movements. Hamish thinks she's adorable.

In the second semester, they share a class. Hamish is taking it for the degree he's currently doing and Vera's taking it for credits and because Hamish is. They cheated on almost that entire exam because no one realised they were communicating.

It's a quiet day on Vera's couch when Hamish shows her his wrist. "Isn't that what I said when. . ."

Vera shows him her bare wrist. He kisses her forehead and pulls her close. She smiles. It doesn't bother him.

She tells him about her daughter one day. She doesn't even need him to say anything. Just knowing that he's still sitting with her, still holding on to her, is enough.

They're watching some movie. Well, neither of them are actually watching it. Hamish has Vera in his lap, his chin on her shoulder. Both are watching Vera's thumb make small circles on her bare wrist. Hamish kisses her cheek. The first words out his mouth since Cassie are a soft whisper against Vera's ear. "I love you."

And Vera watches the words ink themselves into her wrist, clear as day. It wasn't that she didn't have a soulmate. It was just that hers didn't speak. Until now. She turns halfway to kiss him. "I love you, too."

And we're going to stop there because the next bit is cannon territory and we all know I'll probably handle that with angst :)

Part 2

@gingersimasnapsandvermishthings I kinda got u sis

See the other soulmate aus that kept me awake at night until I wrote them down

[pokemonswshbutionlyplayedsword]

Wut do u think the gym leaders would dress up as for Halloween?

I like Halloween asks a lot because it can be either goofy or metaphorical. We’ll see where this one goes. Also, this’ll just be for a Halloween that has happened. This will also take place at a Halloween party that Rose throws because then I force myself to give everyone a costume by preventing myself from being able to say someone didn’t go. Also, of course, Rose would.

Milo:

-Honestly, I can see him not being a huge fan of Halloween. As a farm boy, he’s not a huge fan of candy. He also does not like being scared and dislikes horror content.

-However, he tries to get with the spirits and puts together a pretty neat minotaur costume. He wants to incorporate animals, but he doesn’t want to look cliche. It’s really impressive actually, and it works because he’s beefy. He gets a lot of compliments, but he wishes Rose’s lame Halloween party would end because the clip-on nose ring is starting to get sore. Halloween costumes are not meant to be comfortable. They are meant to be cool and don’t ever forget it. It’s about the aesthetic.

Nessa:

-Classic cute witch. Not an ugly one with a long nose. She wants to keep it simple and classy. Short black dress, green and black tights and black heels with green puffs at the ankle. A big witch hat and maybe a prop broom if she’s feeling bold.

-She has killer pictures for her social media. She looks so good and she knows it. Although it’s simple, Nessa has one of the best costumes out of the league. She was one of the few to enjoy Rose’s annual Halloween part because she got so many compliments and a lot of attention and also she won the costume competition again.

-She considered mermaid, but she didn’t know how to make it look good and also be able to walk, so that was over quickly.

Kabu:

-Kabu is not a big Halloween person. He doesn’t really want to go to the party, but he stays on brand and chooses a fire type pokemon to dress up as. He puts together a pretty classy Pyroar costume. It’s subtle, more like an inspired outfit, but it works well enough for people to know what he means.

-He strays away from traditional costumes because that’s not really his tradition. He usually always throws on an outfit that resembles what he’s trying to portray. Fortunately, he’s skillful enough to do it tastefully.

Bea:

-Ninja. Haha. Martial arts. She doesn’t hide her face with a mask, but her outfit is clear enough. While ninjas don’t really do martial arts, as she has to correct people all night, it was pretty fun anyway. She doesn’t like candy, but she does like dressing up.

-She doesn’t like Rose’s party, though. No one really does, but she dislikes it for different reasons. Every guest is so ignorant and she spend the night explaining to everyone why ninjas don’t do martial arts and what they actually are. She wishes she was old enough to drink so she could have something to pass the time with.

Allister:

-A spooky skeleton. He’s got an all black suit with bones on it. He also swaps his mask out with one that looks like a skull. He’s a bit bored at Rose’s party, though, because he’s the only kid there, other than Marnie, Hop and Bede, since they had to be there as well, but they’re still a bit older. They entertain him, though, at least Hop and Marnie do.

-He likes Halloween a lot. Spooky. Ghosties. Candy. It’s his favorite day of the year. Even more than his birthday. Rose’s party goes by with people talking to him about how much he loves Halloween and how fitting it is for the ghost type specialist.

Opal:

-A fairy. What else, though? Maybe even Queen Mab. She’s really elegant. She has big long wings draped behind her and a stunning old gown. She also made herself a crown of sticks and flowers to really fit the faerie aesthetic. She got second in the costume competition.

-She spends most of the time sitting and chatting, so people didn’t really get a good look at her costume until the end of the evening, but oh boy, did she shine.

Gordie:

-An ogre. He paints his face green and gets fake teeth to put on, as well as pointy ears. The teeth make it a bit hard to talk, and he unfortunately has to forgo the sunglasses to make it a good costume.

-A lot of compliments. A lot of people asked why he didn’t dress as a rock monster and all he can say is he would never glue a bunch of rocks to his body for a costume. Which is fair but also unnecessary.

Melony:

-Ice queen. Not Elsa, though. Just a queen with icy powers. She puts her hair up in an elaborate bun and has an “icicle” crown and a long blue dress. She looks very nice, like formal, but that doesn’t stop people from coming up and being casual, which is something she was worried about.

-Her dress had a bunch of fake fur and stuff like that to fit the theme, but Melony had to take the overcoat off every once in a while because Rose’s mansion (which is where the party takes place) is like a furnace to her. It was worth it, though.

Piers:

-A vampire. This is one of the few things that Piers is enthusiastic about because he really likes Halloween. He’s got a great costume for it, too, since he can find the perfect style for it so easily in Spikemuth. So maybe he’s worn the same costume three years in a row, but he also got third place in the costume contest for three years in a row, so sue him.

-He spent the day before the party putting his hair in an elaborate braid for the Aesthetic. Maybe a little bit of makeup and fake fangs to really get into it, but he couldn’t spend too much time. As per usual, he also had to help Marnie get ready, because she had to come with him. Close family of gym leaders and those that were invited are also welcome, and Piers doesn’t want to leave her alone on Halloween.

Raihan:

-A knight. It’s a sick costume, and... Wait, no, Raihan. You’re wearing actual armor. Like, metal armor. Isn’t that hot? Yeah, it really is, but anything for the look. He’s been trying to beat Piers in the costume contest since last year, but he can’t. Because he has to take it off halfway through the party because it gets too hot. When will he learn?

-To be fair, it looks really good. He’s got enough knowledge in history and money to make an accurate suit of armor. Fortunately, he makes the sword fake, so he can get in, though. He’s stopped and searched by security a few times, just to make sure the sword’s a handle glued to the scabbard.

Leon:

-I’m sure this is pretty obvious, but a king. He’s got a big crown, and he swaps out his usual cape for an even bigger one, because of course he does. Some people are confused why Leon’s the kind and not Rose, but no one asks. Leon doesn’t get a lot of time to work on it, since he’s so busy, but he comes through with a solid costume anyway.

-In fact, as Champion, he gets a throne anyway at the end of the night, when everyone sits down and awards/prizes/ect. are handed out. So it fits. He wishes he could put a crown on Charizard, too, but his buddy just isn’t having any of it.

I’ve got some bonuses for you, anon, since I like this prompt so much.

Rose:

-Rose is a Copperajah. He wears an intricate mask and suit to keep it classy. It’s a nice costume, but you can tell not a lot of effort and thought went into it.

-Oleana made it for the most part. Well, she bought it. Rose didn’t even know what his costume was until he got ready for the party.

Oleana:

-She didn’t want to dress up, but she had to. She went with a devil. She knows this doesn’t bode well for her, but she doesn’t care. It’s not like anyone’s bold enough to say anything to her face anyways.

-She has a red suit, little horns, a tail on the back of her belt and a plastic pitchfork. It doesn’t get in the way much, since she sticks close to Rose anyway. Some of the gym leaders joke to each other when she’s not around. Nothing mean, usually lighthearted. They’re not jerks.

Hop:

-Being Leon’s little brother, Hop is invited. He’s pretty happy. It beats trick or treating because he gets to hang out with Marnie. Unfortunately, Bede’s not in the friend group yet because this is before the game. Anyway, Hop is an elf.

-He has a pretty simple costume, but it works. Pointed ears, a simple, elvish outfit and a fake bow to wear over his shoulder. No arrows, though, but he knew that already.

Marnie:

-She goes with Piers to a) keep him sane b) prevent herself from being alone on Halloween and c) to hang out with Hop. She’s a vampire, much like her brother. In fact, they’re pretty much matching. A bunch of people think it’s cute that brother and sister match each other, but really, Marnie did it because it was easy.

-She does take the fake fangs out pretty early, though. Not that it’s a big deal, but bobbing for apples is, surprisingly, harder with sharp elongated fake teeth. Also, she bit her tongue and it’s just not worth it. She loves Halloween, but what good is it if she tears her tongue of before she gets to eat any candy.

Bede:

-Bede is a mummy. Wrapped up in a mummy costume and stuff. He goes because he’s with Rose. He doesn’t do much, though. Hop and Marnie try to invite him to join them, but he doesn’t associate with rubbish like them. Oh, you sweet summer child. Soon, you’ll learn the value of these two.

-He ends up being pretty bored and wishing a little bit that he’d accepted their offer because they looked like they were having fun. Allister comes and talks to him for a little bit, though, so it’s not all bad. And he gets candy, too, so that’s cool.

[mythykl]

**That’s right. It’s time for Kakashi x reader Bitches

“Kakashi? Kakashi??” You couldn't comprehend why Rin had locked you in a dark room with hIMmm, and you held his hand the whole time, cuz’ ya 13yo ass was scared af. Once you guys were let out, you saw Rin and Obito fist bumping each other. 

That's when obito blurts- "Being the ones to know how much you like Y/n, you should've seen this coming!" 

"Baka! Shut up Obito, y/n doesn’t kn-" rin whispered

lmao. You're ass went speechless. Kakashi's hold tightened and he dragged you outside the academy.

before dating, he was pretty much a jerk to you, but it was through rin that you both get to know each other more personally,,, and still,, he continued to act like a jerk

well. once he took you outside, he decided to confess. His voice seemed shaky and he didn’t- couldn’t really speak out exactly what he wants,, 

“Kakashi, quit beating round’ the bush.. And the way you’ve held my hand it’s hurt-”

In the mid sentence- he just,, pulled you into a hug,, and whispered how much he likes you and asked you out!

you guys ended up having a beautiful time on your trip/date, at naka river, and,, tho no one really mentions, you both start dating *an unspoken understandin i guess?* on ya second date you guys prolly went for treking! *well i’m imagining that you aren’t a ninja*

You were by far the only one to see his face w/o mask

By now you had gotten used to obito’s clingy ass. though kakashi rants too much about him, you know, he loves him. Rin helps you a lot with dating advices,, somehow

Minato sensei teased you kiddos,, a lot. “At your age, all i used to do was keep staring at kushina,” he joked once.

He was a huge chatter and a curious ass fella surprisingly, you’re boyfriend talked to you about most of the things he learnt in mission, every goddamn theory he had in his mind, his likings and dislikings, his interest in Dōjutsu etc. You could feel how lonely he used to be, cuz he felt no one would listen 

you’d join him during his training at times, well that time you got to know that throwing a kunai isn’t as easy at it looks, your wrist hurt af

once kakashi had called you princess after kissing you in front of your friends, this commenced to everyone calling you by that name. especially Gai and obito

After obioto and eventually, rin’s death *ofc* you guys drifted apart; drastically. You couldn’t understand or help him through his immense remorse and regret while he would just,, either had a huge tantrum or not say anything at all. He said things like-  it’s better to stay alone, and have no one to lose- while breaking up, which hurt you a lot. within a few months, you guys didn't even cross paths in konoha streets since he became heavily loaded with anbu missions

Now that it has been like,,, a really long time; one day you see the konoha’s infamous Naruto with his team at the door, with a huge flower bouquet.

“Please accept this!” The girl with pink hair squeals.

“It cost us our whole savings but Ino-kun did give us a good amount of discount after hearing these are for kakashi-sensei’s date dattebayo!” naruto,, practically screames.

“Hold your horses; that’s not how you greet people.” the,, uchiha? Yes. he concludes blandly.

Your heart skips a beat on hearing your long-time-no-see lover’s name. Knowing him, you highly doubt that he sent them but still you ask.

“No ma’am, but we-once- managed to sneak into his Icha Icha Paradise, he’d written your name.. In it.. So we found you. You are sensei’s date aren’t you!?” the girl with pink hair, yes sakura, almost whispers to you.

ah.

“Yeah. That was a hell of a long time ago,” you smile.

You let them in and offer some tea. You guys talk a lot and they were astonished?- yes, more than astonished that you’ve seen him w/o mask. Ah ok

Wow they had already done huge ass planning beforehand to make you both meet *not that you know*. As you take them downstairs to bid adieu, you see kakashi,, literally,, standing, in front of you’re door. Both of you equally shocked. 

Kakashi and you start talking to each other. You apologize for not sticking around since you didn’t know how to help him let go of his pain while he apologizes for bein a jerk-? Ok.

You guys plan to hangout-, which is the most difficult part! You had to work in the morning hours while he had to stick with team 7 for missions by afternoon

 you guys ended up deciding on crashing at each other’s places at night, and also,, sometimess early in the morning *???* it gets tougher for him with time to juggle from place to place, thus, getting late for his missions

You guys end up moving in together *it’s official* and he sleeps closest to the window. yes.

He’s very protective of you and kinda the jealous type, he’s afraid of losing you and is very open about expressing it. He doesn’t give you nicknames but often call you stuff as ‘my other half’ and refers you w -chan *just being sarcastic*

You are like a mum to team 7 and they love you, you get them lunch at times. Sakura often asks you for advice to get sasuke,, but udk what to say since sasuke.. Is just sasuke *he reminds you of 13yo kakashi*. But uk that there’s a special bond between them

kakashi doesn’t hate PDA, but he doesn’t like it either; you guys for long walks in the evenings, occasionally hold hands. Is it obvious to others? Don't know. Butt once you caught kurenai and asuma kissing.. Twas’ hella kyut

He would also rest his chin on you head a lot, and likes to intertwine his fingers with yours when you guys are alone

Hugs aren’t his thing but if you hug him, he’ll slowly hug you back and then all at once melt into you, Anddd he’s warm af

twice you caught him, just in underwear, slurping ramen in the middle of the night and you were like,, wait wut-

He loves ya massages and loves to cut vegetables,, for some reason,,

Big cuddle person in bed

You love trying different hairstyles on him anddd he looks dead ass hot in most of em. Let’s just agree,, he has a better taste in style than you tf

You guys usually opt for trips to neighbouring villages, hot spring trips, camping etc

Tho mysterious and sarcastic, he opens up to you whenever needed. Unlike in childhood, now you’re the one who talks a lot. He agrees to feel acknowledged for being himself whenever he’s with you and like a prodigy, sharingan bearing, functioning human, as people call him. His brain lets go of all his insecurities and PTSD for a while when he sees you happy because of him

He often loses track of time during his frequent visits to the memorial stone where Obito's name is engraved; you understand that he needs some alone time for this ritual and this, don’t tag along 

Well now, even you've started reading icha icha series cuz’ of ya moron boyfriend, and you are hooked to it *since I basically imagine it to be the fifty shades of grey in naruto universe lol* you guys freakin end up trying shit from the book

“Baby, let’s be sexy,, together” he said once as he leaned againt the kitchen counter in the most sexy way.

“Sure senpai, why the book’s tactics won’t work?” he just laughed hysterically at the comeback.. And,, umm.. You get what happens

He likes braiding your hair, especially before sleep, he finds it relaxing

Whenever his ass displays a bored and unenthusiastic expression, you say, “go bald kakashi.” right. What a mature insult 

He’s very calm and observant and knows what you are feeling- or even what you are thinking. I mean how-? 

He asks you to make miso soup, with eggplant, a lot!

Your parents aren’t really sure of your relationship. Since he wears wut? a maskkKkk. And once Kakashi, still being as apathetic as he was during his youth, spoke bluntly about sensitive topics with them during a discussion

gai gifted you both matching Yukata on ya bday. that’s indeed beautiful and thoughtful of him.

well Your boyfriend sucks at selecting gifts.. He gets you things that can’t be used or idk.. ButTttt this man is too good at remembering dates  

People wonder if he’s stern and serious, judging by his past and repo, but you tell them that he isn’t! Well, he has decided to move on, and now you know how to support him. He knows that you appreciate him for that, and this he listens to you.

you just found an engagement ring on you night stand with letter beside it. congrats hun *instant panic*

...

i hope you enjoyed ;))

i need to,,, stop imagining so much, it's a lot to type. i wish i had a gadget or something through which my imagination would get typed, systematically, on my pc. Btw i won’t be uploading much in September since i gotta study so. so don’t assume that i’m dead or don’t care anymore. 

this one was requested by two peps, since my ass is new on tumblr i kinda fucked up and thus, my inbox got cleared or something. i’m still learning k

ya that’s it.. imma go and read my icha icha now ah huh

[punkcupcakestyles]

Bad Ideas

In which summer’s here and maybe living with Harry was a bad idea to begin with.

***

The hardest part was looking at him.

I’m not talking about his face, which was a dream to look at. Or his body, and the times he stayed in his towel for a little too long, beads of water rolling down the soft muscles of his tummy.

I’m talking about him, and the fact that I felt like someone had punched me in the gut, just for the sake of it.

It was torture.

The first time I dreamt about Harry, it was a summer night, and the heat was aiming to kill us all.

We had spent most of our afternoon in the living room, the only place in our apartment where the air was breathable and we didn’t feel like we were burning up. Smith was playing with his guitar, while his girlfriend slept with her head resting on his lap.

Harry was lying awkwardly on the couch in front of me. His feet were dangling in the air while he tried to read his book. He kept closing his eyes and dozing off, maybe because of the slow song Smith was playing, or because it was really hot and he had barely slept the night before. The book slowly fell out of his hands and to the floor, with a thud no one else but I seemed to register.

I looked at him and noticed the way his pink lips parted and his hand fell on his tummy, raising up and then falling down with every soft breath. The pink light of the sky was cast on his face, making him look angelic, and his hair, the short curls that were starting to grow, was trying to cascade over his forehead and failing to do so. He looked adorable, and I knew right then I was in a whole lot of trouble.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt warmth at the sight on that one person. Felt our heart gets larger and a little bit vulnerable. We’ve felt ourselves falling to our knees.

Later that night, the heat hadn’t gone anywhere. It was suffocating, and I was sweating under the thin sheets, even when all of my windows were wide open. I was wearing a pair of shorts and a sports top, and my right leg dangling in the air to try to get some air. Despite my very serious concern of monsters under the bed, it was the only way I could find to breathe.

It was already 1:30 in the morning when I decided to get up and walk to the kitchen to get some water. Harry was there, already standing behind the tiny breakfast table. He had just taken a shower, I could tell by his wet hair and the fact that his chest was glistening even under the dim light of the room. As I walked closer, I noticed he was wearing a pair of black boxers...and nothing else. I looked at him, his round shoulders, his taut chest and his delightful collarbones, and I got a bit weak on the knees.

He smiled at me as if it was the most natural thing to see each other in our underwear in the middle of the night.

“Thought you were sleeping,” he said, as I walked around him to pour myself that glass of water. He left his own on the table and turned to look at me as I did my best to act natural. Try not to look at his legs, and their nice muscular tone, or the light happy trail that got lost under the fabric of his underwear.

“I couldn’t, it’s too hot,” I said and somehow I managed not to squeak out my words.

He was so close, I could smell the clean strawberry of the soap, and the fake vanilla of his shampoo. He was so close, in fact, that I didn’t think I could blame the hot night for the flush of my cheeks.

I could see myself kissing him. I could imagine standing on my tiptoes and putting my hands over his neck to bring him close. All I could think was the cold feeling of his lips against mine, and the way they would mold in a kiss that was not meant to be. Soft and slow, rough and desperate, I could imagine all of the kisses we were never going to share.

“I thought you were gonna go out tonight,” I remarked, an effort to sound casual and cool. Harry went out every single Saturday night. And other nights too.

“I wasn’t feeling it,” he replied simply.

I nodded and sipped on my water. Actually, not sip, that sounds like a delicate thing to do. I gulped it in one swing, half thirsty for the cold drink, half desperate to get out of there.

Harry was looking at me, a half smirk curling up his lips when he saw the water spilling down my lips. The drops of water ran down my chin, and my neck and to my pink top, and I felt myself burn in embarrassment as I let the glass over the table and quickly tried to dry myself with just my hands.

I was waiting for the snippy comment, like the ones he would carelessly and quickly throw whenever Smith or I did something wrong or dumb, which was often. But it never came. Instead, he let his fingers brush over the center of my lips, and wipe a drop of water I had missed.  It was quick, so quick in fact, for a second I doubted if it even had happened. I looked at him, standing still at his touch, while he cleared his throat and looked the other way.

“I put a bottle of water in the fridge. Take it,” was all he said, his low mumble twisting his words before he left.

What had just happened?

I dreamt of him that night, of the tingling feeling of his touch and of bruised lips from kissing. I dreamt of his big hands, wrapped around my legs to keep them open, while his tongue lapped at my center, and he sucked and kissed as he pleased. He would look up every time my back arched, a smug glint of his eyes when I moaned his name. I dreamt of him and nothing else, and I woke up drenched in sweat.

The second time I dreamt of Harry, he was in the shower, and I was pretty sure he wasn’t alone. I could hear him moan, and it didn’t take much imagination to figure out what was happening.

I had just arrived from work, after having a few drinks with friends, and I was fucking tipsy. Drunkenly, I leaned to the door and listened to him for a few seconds, the deep grunts and the low curses that were coming from him. Our paper-thin walls were a fucking blessing.

I could see myself on my knees, looking up at him with a shy smile, as the water ran down his body. My fingers wrapping around his cock, as I guided it to my mouth, his deep moan when I started to lick the swollen tip. I could imagine his fingers tangling in my wet hair, and the way they would bring me further down, almost begging for me to take all of him.

It was fucking difficult to walk away from the door and to waddle to my own room and close the door. I was still thinking about his strong legs and the way I would hold on to them when my legs wobbled, just so I could keep sucking him. Lying on the bed, I let my hand slide under my shorts and my middle finger glide over my slit until I found that sweet spot. I thought of him, of his lips and his hands while I kept massaging my clit. Every quiver of my tummy was because of him, the trembling of my legs as they tried to clamp shut around my hand was a reaction to his imaginary touch, the thought of his mop of curls between my legs enough to make me moan.

The next morning, I could barely look at him. His smile, his hands, his lips, they were all reminders of the most unholy thoughts I had probably ever had. A reminder of the hunger and need I had never felt before him.

“I think this it,” Smith said as he sat on the bar stool in front of me, while I was finishing our sandwiches. He put his computer on the counter, carefully trying not to let it drop. Any other damage to it, and he would have a buy a new one.

“I’ve heard that,” Harry mused. He was tidying up the kitchen as I went, making sure I didn’t leave a mess or had anything to clean after “cooking” for them.

“No, mate, this is serious. If that guy likes us, we fucking made it.”

Two wannabe musicians, and a struggling writer/intern. How did we pay for rent?

“Yeah, Smithy, whatever you say,” I smiled at the blonde boy. “Now go, let’s not lose the jobs we already have.”

“Oh, you don’t believe in us. You’ll fly coach when we go on tour,” Smith bit back, his childish smile making him look even younger as he pointed an accusatory finger at me. He took the Ziploc bag I offered him and rushed to the bathroom to get ready for work. I didn’t give a fuck, wherever they were going, they could bet their asses they were taking me.

Harry leaned over the counter, giving me a small smile as I offered him a Ziploc bag as well. His fingers lingered over mine, and I looked at him, not quite remembering how to breathe.

Fucking hell, it would be so easy to kiss him.

“Wut?” I asked slowly. Harry licked his lips as if he was unsure of what came next. Whatever it was, he knew just enough to keep me close.

Harry took a step closer until he didn’t even to hold my hand to catch my attention anymore. But he still did, wrapping his fingers tightly around my wrist, as if he feared I would run away if he let me go.

“Were you...were you home last night?”

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Had he caught me? Had he noticed I had listened to him like a fucking creep? Had whoever was with him realized he was living with a fucking stalker?

“Y-yes.”

“Look, I…” He began but stopped as Smith stormed out of the bathroom, hands still trying to button his red plaid shirt.

“Ok, Styles, could you get the tequila for tonight’s party? I don’t think I…” Smith babbled, struggling to keep up with everything he was doing. His phone slipped to the floor, and he rushed to get it before finally looking at us. Pink splashed on his face as his eyes bounced from Harry to me, and then widened as he realized Harry was actually holding me. “Or I could try to get it,” he said. “Yeah...I-I’ll do that.”

My heart was racing fast, but it was nothing compared to Smith’s. He rushed, actually stumbled, out, without looking back. We had scared him, and we were just holding hands.

I wished it was the end of it, the awkward moment to end all awkward moments, but apparently, there was still more to come. Harry cleared his throat and squeezed my fingers lightly between his, to make me look at him. I did so, his green eyes looking curiously at me.

“Harry, s’normal,” I cut him off before he could even start. “You get to bring girls home.”

“I wasn’t…” Harry looked confused for once. But I still had more to say. I could fill a whole room with words if that meant we could end the conversation right after.

“Smith did before his girlfriend. You’re young and cute, and girls like that. So don’t worry”

“M’not worried,” He drawled. His accent got thicker whenever he was annoyed. “And I was alone.”

“Oh…”

“Were you?” The question was really simple. I wished I had a fucking answer for it. “Cause I heard you, and I, I think you were alone.” A small smile grew on his lips, the tip of his tongue licking on them as he looked at me. “And I think I heard my name. You’re quite loud.”

The hardest part was looking at him.

I’m not talking about his face, which was a dream to look at. Or his body, and the times he stayed in his towel for a little too long, beads of water rolling down the soft muscles of his tummy.

I’m talking about him, and the fact that I felt like someone had punched me in the gut, just for the sake of it.

It was torture.

The first time I dreamt about Harry, it was a summer night, and the heat was aiming to kill us all.

We had spent most of our afternoon in the living room, the only place in our apartment where the air was breathable and we didn’t feel like we were burning up. Smith was playing with his guitar, while his girlfriend slept with her head resting on his lap.

Harry was lying awkwardly on the couch in front of me. His feet were dangling in the air while he tried to read his book. He kept closing his eyes and dozing off, maybe because of the slow song Smith was playing, or because it was really hot and he had barely slept the night before. The book slowly fell out of his hands and to the floor, with a thud no one else but I seemed to register.

I looked at him and noticed the way his pink lips parted and his hand fell on his tummy, raising up and then falling down with every soft breath. The pink light of the sky was cast on his face, making him look angelic, and his hair, the short curls that were starting to grow, was trying to cascade over his forehead and failing to do so. He looked adorable, and I knew right then I was in a whole lot of trouble.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt warmth at the sight on that one person. Felt our heart gets larger and a little bit vulnerable. We’ve felt ourselves falling to our knees.

Later that night, the heat hadn’t gone anywhere. It was suffocating, and I was sweating under the thin sheets, even when all of my windows were wide open. I was wearing a pair of shorts and a sports top, and my right leg dangling in the air to try to get some air. Despite my very serious concern of monsters under the bed, it was the only way I could find to breathe.

It was already 1:30 in the morning when I decided to get up and walk to the kitchen to get some water. Harry was there, already standing behind the tiny breakfast table. He had just taken a shower, I could tell by his wet hair and the fact that his chest was glistening even under the dim light of the room. As I walked closer, I noticed he was wearing a pair of black boxers...and nothing else. I looked at him, his round shoulders, his taut chest and his delightful collarbones, and I got a bit weak on the knees.

He smiled at me as if it was the most natural thing to see each other in our underwear in the middle of the night.

“Thought you were sleeping,” he said, as I walked around him to pour myself that glass of water. He left his own on the table and turned to look at me as I did my best to act natural. Try not to look at his legs, and their nice muscular tone, or the light happy trail that got lost under the fabric of his underwear.

“I couldn’t, it’s too hot,” I said and somehow I managed not to squeak out my words.

He was so close, I could smell the clean strawberry of the soap, and the fake vanilla of his shampoo. He was so close, in fact, that I didn’t think I could blame the hot night for the flush of my cheeks.

I could see myself kissing him. I could imagine standing on my tiptoes and putting my hands over his neck to bring him close. All I could think was the cold feeling of his lips against mine, and the way they would mold in a kiss that was not meant to be. Soft and slow, rough and desperate, I could imagine all of the kisses we were never going to share.

“I thought you were gonna go out tonight,” I remarked, an effort to sound casual and cool. Harry went out every single Saturday night. And other nights too.

“I wasn’t feeling it,” he replied simply.

I nodded and sipped on my water. Actually, not sip, that sounds like a delicate thing to do. I gulped it in one swing, half thirsty for the cold drink, half desperate to get out of there.

Harry was looking at me, a half smirk curling up his lips when he saw the water spilling down my lips. The drops of water ran down my chin, and my neck and to my pink top, and I felt myself burn in embarrassment as I let the glass over the table and quickly tried to dry myself with just my hands.

I was waiting for the snippy comment, like the ones he would carelessly and quickly throw whenever Smith or I did something wrong or dumb, which was often. But it never came. Instead, he let his fingers brush over the center of my lips, and wipe a drop of water I had missed.  It was quick, so quick in fact, for a second I doubted if it even had happened. I looked at him, standing still at his touch, while he cleared his throat and looked the other way.

“I put a bottle of water in the fridge. Take it,” was all he said, his low mumble twisting his words before he left.

What had just happened?

I dreamt of him that night, of the tingling feeling of his touch and of bruised lips from kissing. I dreamt of his big hands, wrapped around my legs to keep them open, while his tongue lapped at my center, and he sucked and kissed as he pleased. He would look up every time my back arched, a smug glint of his eyes when I moaned his name. I dreamt of him and nothing else, and I woke up drenched in sweat.

The second time I dreamt of Harry, he was in the shower, and I was pretty sure he wasn’t alone. I could hear him moan, and it didn’t take much imagination to figure out what was happening.

I had just arrived from work, after having a few drinks with friends, and I was fucking tipsy. Drunkenly, I leaned to the door and listened to him for a few seconds, the deep grunts and the low curses that were coming from him. Our paper-thin walls were a fucking blessing. I could see myself on my knees, looking up at him with a shy smile, as the water ran down his body. My fingers wrapping around his cock, as I guided it to my mouth, his deep moan when I started to lick the swollen tip. I could imagine his fingers tangling in my wet hair, and the way they would bring me further down, almost begging for me to take all of him.

It was fucking difficult to walk away from the door and to waddle to my own room and close the door. I was still thinking about his strong legs and the way I would hold on to them when my legs wobbled, just so I could keep sucking him. Lying on the bed, I let my hand slide under my shorts and my middle finger glide over my slit until I found that sweet spot. I thought of him, of his lips and his hands while I kept massaging my clit. Every quiver of my tummy was because of him, the trembling of my legs as they tried to clamp shut around my hand was a reaction to his imaginary touch, the thought of his mop of curls between my legs enough to make me moan.

The next morning, I could barely look at him. His smile, his hands, his lips, they were all reminders of the most unholy thoughts I had probably ever had. A reminder of the hunger and need I had never felt before him.

“I think this it,” Smith said as he sat on the bar stool in front of me, while I was finishing our sandwiches. He put his computer on the counter, carefully trying not to let it drop. Any other damage to it, and he would have a buy a new one.

“I’ve heard that,” Harry mused. He was tidying up the kitchen as I went, making sure I didn’t leave a mess or had anything to clean after “cooking” for them.

“No, mate, this is serious. If that guy likes us, we fucking made it.”

Two wannabe musicians, and a struggling writer/intern. How did we pay for rent?

“Yeah, Smithy, whatever you say,” I smiled at the blonde boy. “Now go, let’s not lose the jobs we already have.”

“Oh, you don’t believe in us. You’ll fly coach when we go on tour,” Smith bit back, his childish smile making him look even younger as he pointed an accusatory finger at me. He took the Ziploc bag I offered him and rushed to the bathroom to get ready for work. I didn’t give a fuck, wherever they were going, they could bet their asses they were taking me.

Harry leaned over the counter, giving me a small smile as I offered him a Ziploc bag as well. His fingers lingered over mine, and I looked at him, not quite remembering how to breathe.

Fucking hell, it would be so easy to kiss him.

“Wut?” I asked slowly. Harry licked his lips as if he was unsure of what came next. Whatever it was, he knew just enough to keep me close.

Harry took a step closer until he didn’t even to hold my hand to catch my attention anymore. But he still did, wrapping his fingers tightly around my wrist, as if he feared I would run away if he let me go.

“Were you...were you home last night?”

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Had he caught me? Had he noticed I had listened to him like a fucking creep? Had whoever was with him realized he was living with a fucking stalker?

“Y-yes.”

“Look, I…” He began but stopped as Smith stormed out of the bathroom, hands still trying to button his red plaid shirt.

“Ok, Styles, could you get the tequila for tonight’s party? I don’t think I…” Smith babbled, struggling to keep up with everything he was doing. His phone slipped to the floor, and he rushed to get it before finally looking at us. Pink splashed on his face as his eyes bounced from Harry to me, and then widened as he realized Harry was actually holding me. “Or I could try to get it,” he said. “Yeah...I-I’ll do that.”

My heart was racing fast, but it was nothing compared to Smith’s. He rushed, actually stumbled, out, without looking back. We had scared him, and we were just holding hands.

I wished it was the end of it, the awkward moment to end all awkward moments, but apparently, there was still more to come. Harry cleared his throat and squeezed my fingers lightly between his, to make me look at him. I did so, his green eyes looking curiously at me.

“Harry, s’normal,” I cut him off before he could even start. “You get to bring girls home.”

“I wasn’t…” Harry looked confused for once. But I still had more to say. I could fill a whole room with words if that meant we could end the conversation right after.

“Smith did before his girlfriend. You’re young and cute, and girls like that. So don’t worry”

“M’not worried,” He drawled. His accent got thicker whenever he was annoyed. “And I was alone.”

“Oh…”

“Were you?” The question was really simple. I wished I had a fucking answer for it. “Cause I heard you, and I...I think you were alone.” A small smile grew on his lips, the tip of his tongue licking on them as he looked at me. “And I think I heard my name. You’re quite loud.”

I was right before: my heart could go faster. Incredibly fast. Ridiculously fast. I was gonna throw up.

Slowly, I let my hand fall from Harry’s and I took the sandwich that was left for me, smiling shyly as I looked away from him. If he was baffled by my attitude or if he was expecting it, I couldn’t know. He let his back rest against the counter and he crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for my next move.

“I’m late for work,” I finally said. “We’ll talk later.”

Or better yet, we wouldn’t.

If there was something to be said about Smith is that he was a fucking genius when it came to throwing a party. He had gotten big, round fans that were scattered all over the apartment, so it wouldn’t be so hot, and he had cold slices of watermelon soaked in margarita. I was having one of those, sitting on the couch right next to a fan. It was heaven.

I scanned around the room, not even trying to keep up with the conversation that was happening around me. But I couldn’t find him, no matter how much I looked. Harry was not there, and I was incredibly disappointed by it.

The feeling in my gut told me it was a bad idea, dumb idea, stupid idea. I probably should have listened to it. Instead, I crossed the living room to walk to Harry’s. For a second, I stared at the door and bit my lip in guilt. It wasn’t a nice thing to do, to walk into someone’s room just because you wanted to. But I still did it, pushing the door softly and closing it behind me.

At first, it didn’t seem like Harry had noticed my presence. He had his headphones on and was absorbed in his book. I almost turned around to leave.

“Hey,” he said, right when I was contemplating my escape routes. His voice was soft and sleepy, and he looked at me as he dropped his book over the nightstand next to his bed. His room was quite simple: One bed, one nightstand, two guitars. It was my first time in it.

“H-hi…I, uh, wanted to check if you were alright.”

“Yeah, just...didn't feel like dealing with people tonight,” Harry smiled.

“Oh, then I’ll leave you alone.”

“No, not you,” he mused, and I stood where I was, still looking at him. “You can stay. Please, stay.”

“I don’t wanna bother…”

“Come here…” He ignored my words. They were barely audible anyway.

I hesitated, trying to find an excuse as to why I actually needed to leave. None of them seemed to work. I twisted my fingers on the fabric of my short skirt and took slow steps in his direction until I was able to sit right next to him on his bed. We were face to face, and I sat over the covers while Harry stayed under them. He was wearing a white cotton shirt and his hair was messy. David Bowie blasted through his headphones. Harry had stolen one of Smith’s fan, and the air was almost too comfortable in his room. 

My lips parted slightly, maybe following his own, and he looked at me right in the eyes, making me shiver as his fingers brushed over my bare arm.

“Tell me…” His voice was barely over a whisper, and a satisfied smirk popped on his lips when he noticed the goosebumps on my skin.

“I can talk about pretty much anything, Harry…” I cocked my head as I offered him a mocking smile of my own. “You’ll have to be more precise.”

“Were you thinking about me yesterday?” He said, and his throat bobbed.

“That’s a bit invasive, don’t you think? I haven’t asked who you were thinking about.”

“I was thinking about you if that’s what you wanted to know,” he said, simply. “Sometimes I change it, but I usually come back to you.”

“That sounds almost romantic,” I mocked.

“Doesn’t it?”

I would like to say he kissed me first, but he didn’t. He let his eyes flutter down to my lips and took a sharp breath, as if he was considering it. But it wasn’t enough, I wanted to be kissed, wanted to get to know the taste of his lips. Damn it. Not allowing myself to think, I tilted my head and let the tip of my fingers press to his neck, his heartbeat pulsing under them. The tip of my nose brushed his and he let a breathy laugh out right before I pressed a kiss to his lips.

It wasn’t rushed like I imagined it would be. His hands pressed to my sides to hold me close, while he trapped my bottom lip between his, and the tip of his tongue licked across it. A heavy sigh died on the kiss, and I wasn’t entirely sure if it was his or mine. All I knew was that he was a slow kisser, taking his time to enjoy the taste out of my lips, as his fingers curled around my waist.

“Is that yes?” He muttered against my lips, while still pressing soft kisses on them. Every word felt warm and fuzzy and I was losing my mind just a bit.

“This is a fucking stupid idea,” I laughed in response, opening my eyes to see he was already looking back at me. Still, we didn’t move, allowing our breaths to mix and our lips to brush, as we enjoyed the idea of keep on going.

“I know, I was thinking we could be stupid, just for a little while.”

“I should go.” Someone had to be smart. It was a shame it was me.

“Don’t.”

[preraphaelitepunk]

Fictober19 Day 18: The Tea Is Hellishly Hot

Prompt #18: Secrets? I love secrets.

Fandom: Good Omens

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley, Eric the Disposable Demon

Rating: Teen (a little bit of cursing, mention of canoodling, mention of enjoying being smacked around a bit)

Warnings: None

On AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/20843936/chapters/50149631

After all that bother with the failed assassinations, Heaven and Hell had promised to leave them alone. However, Aziraphale had been an angel for a long time — since before time technically began, in fact — and he knew exactly how trustworthy Upper Management could be over the long run. Sensible as always, he’d rigged the bookshop with sensors that would alert him to any other celestial or occult being who breached their perimeter. Forewarned is forearmed, and Aziraphale was sure it was only a matter of time.

The alarms were ringing in his head now.

“That’s far enough,” Aziraphale commanded, tossing his curls dramatically and brandishing his spray bottle. If Hell thought they could hurt Crowley on his watch, they were in for a nasty surprise: under all his outer softness was a fierce, blazing protectiveness, and messing with Crowley was just the way to rouse him. It was all a little thrilling, and part of him regretted that Crowley was in the back room and not able to witness his derring-do. “This bottle is filled with holy water. Hands in the air where I can see them, and no funny business.”

The demon widened his already big, extravagantly lashed eyes and backed against the door, raising his hands. “Hey, I come in peace. Just here to ask you guys to lunch.”

“I beg your pardon?” Not what Aziraphale had expected, but perhaps it was a cunning ploy to lower his guard.

“Lunch. You know, get together, have a curry, a few pints, have a bit of a natter. Catch up.”

“I know what lunch is, you fiend. It’s why you’re here asking me to it that’s confusing me. I had rather been under the impression Hell would leave Crowley and me alone.”

“Well, yeah, Hell, sure. But I’m not Hell, I’m just Eric. I work there, ‘course, but you know how it is. Me and Crowley go way back. The invite’s for both of you.” Eric gave a shaky grin. “Can I put my hands down now?”

Frankly, the demon did not seem particularly threatening, but Aziraphale did not lower the spray bottle. “Oh, very well, just keep them where I can see them,” he said testily. “Crowley?”

“What is it, angel?” Crowley’s voice came from the back room of the shop, where he’d been messing about with his computer phone or something.

“There is a horned gentleman here inviting us to lunch.”

“Wut?” After a few seconds Crowley emerged, and his face lit up in a smile. It even seemed genuine. “Hey, Eric, my dude, my compadre, my droog. How’s it going?”

“Frankly, it’s been better.” Eric batted his remarkable lashes at the spray bottle.

Crowley seemed to notice the deadly weapon for the first time, and leapt forward. “It’s okay, angel. Put it away. Eric’s not one of them.”

“Are you quite sure? He certainly seems to be a demon.”

“Oh, he’s a demon all right, but that’s not his fault. He was just born that way.”

Aziraphale noted the fact that demons apparently could be born as well as Fall, but filed this aside as a discussion for another time. “So you trust him?”

Crowley shrugged. “As much as I’d trust anyone who isn’t you. He’s one of the good ones.”

“Oi!”

“Sorry. One of the likable ones,” Crowley amended.

“That’s better. Er, worse. Whatever — that’s more like it, ’swhat I mean.”

Crowley turned his lopsided grin back to Aziraphale. “Blaming him for all of Hell’s doing would be like, dunno, blaming the Amazon warehouse worker for Jeff Bezos’ policies. He just works there, ordinary demon, gets by the best he can. Not his fault Lower Management are pricks. And he’s not a threat.”

“To you guys? Nah. And even if you weren’t invincible, I’d, like, never go up against you, Crowlers. If they told me to, I’d botch the job on purpose. You’re cool. Never discorporated me even once, all the years we’ve known each other.”

“Well, if you’re sure, dear.” Reluctantly, Aziraphale lowered the spray bottle and returned it to storage its pocket dimension; if Crowley was wrong about this demon, at least the holy water was no farther away than a snap.

Eric relaxed, his shoulders dropping. “Thanks. I really just came by to ask you guys to lunch. Wanted to catch you up on all the hot goss. Got some top-secret stuff.”

“Secrets? I love secrets.” Crowley’s eyes flashed just a smidge yellower, and he smirked. “Let me grab my coat. Angel, you coming?”

There was no way Aziraphale was leaving him alone with this demon, no matter how confident Crowley seemed. “Most definitely, darling.”

*** ***

Now that Aziraphale could examine Eric more calmly, he realized the horns were actually hair sculpted into twin points. His corporation looked young, almost anime-like with his luminous eyes, flashing grin, and heart-shaped face. As yet, he had entirely failed to attack either him or Crowley, but that could just be some clever demonic ruse.

“So what’s the tea?” Crowley said through a mouthful of veggie samosa. Evidently the trick to getting him to eat was to offer him fried savory cakes with potatoes in.

Aziraphale shot him a puzzled look. “We don’t have tea, darling. It’s lager.”

“Means gossip, angel.”

“Oh. I expect they’re all wondering how you survived the holy water, dear,” Aziraphale said tartly, dabbing at his chicken makhani sauce with a roti. He was slightly put out about how nice the food was; he’d prided himself on knowing all the best restaurants in Soho, and here he was, being shown up by a whippersnapper of a demon.

Eric rolled his eyes. “Oh, that gossip is so fourteenth century. Nobody even cares about that any more.”

“Mmmrrph?” Mouth too full now to even try talking, Crowley shot a perplexed glance at Aziraphale.

“No, what everyone is talking about is,” Eric put down his spoon and leaned forward conspiratorially, “Lord Beelzebub and Gabriel.”

There was a long, confused moment of silence. “What about them, exactly?” Aziraphale finally asked, not sure he wanted to know.

Eric looked smug around his spoonful of chole chawal, letting the tension build until he swallowed. “They’ve been spotted sneaking around together. On Earth. Being all furtive-like.”

“Well.” Aziraphale shook his head, trying to resettle his brain. “Perhaps Heaven and Hell have simply decided to open diplomatic relations?”

“Relations, maybe, but definitely not diplomatic,” Eric smirked, dark eyes sparkling. “Word is, they’ve been seen holding hands.”

Crowley choked, bits of peas flying. “What?”

“And canoodling. Earth Observation was passing around photos, and there’s one where Lord Beelzebub is swatting Gabriel over the head with a newspaper.”

“That’s practically foreplay for them.” Crowley looked a bit ill. “Are you sure? Was it really a newspaper? Maybe it was a lead pipe, just magicked to look like a newspaper. That would be more their style.”

“Definitely a newspaper. And,” Eric dropped his voice again, “rumor has it that there’s one of them kissing.”

Suddenly Aziraphale was no longer hungry. He pushed his plate away, half eaten. “That is, er, remarkable news. Isn’t it, Crowley?”

“Er, yeah. Remarkable.” Crowley’s eyes were unfocused, and he was chewing his lip. “They were kissing?”

“That’s what I’ve heard.”

Crowley tilted his head thoughtfully. “That’s quite a height difference they’ve got there. Was Beelzebub standing on a box or something?”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale admonished, giving his demon’s hand a light swat. “Such speculation is entirely improper.” And even worse, he now had that image in his own head.

“Were there tongues involved? Hands? Over or under —” Crowley jumped as Aziraphale kicked him under the table. “Sorry, angel. It’s just, it’s like a train wreck: you can’t stop looking at it in your head.”

“Indeed. But kindly knock it off, darling.”

“Ooh, slang from within living human memory! I’m impressed, angel.”

Eric seemed to be enjoying their exchange immensely. “See, I knew you guys would want to hear this.”

They spent the rest of their meal analyzing the potential reasons behind Beelzebub and Gabriel’s assignations. Aziraphale, who’d recovered his appetite once kissing was off the conversational menu, was sure it was a ruse of some sort, possibly to lure him and Crowley into a confrontation. Crowley thought Gabriel just had a bit of a kink and enjoyed being smacked around by a short, cranky demon. “Nothing wrong with that, and I bet Beelzie wields a mean rolled-up newspaper.” Eric, surprisingly, voted for love. Grudging and embarrassed and slightly weirded-out love, but love nonetheless.

After Eric paid the tab (“I insist; I invited you. Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean I can’t have manners”), after the shuffle of putting coats back on, Eric said, “So, Aziraphale, is it okay if I come back sometimes to see you guys?”

Aziraphale blinked. “Why ask me?”

“Well, I know you don’t really trust me. That’s cool and all, and I don’t really blame you. I don’t trust most demons, either. But it’s been cool hanging out with people who haven’t tried to discorporate me at all for an entire meal. I’d like to do it again. Not too often, don’t want to get all up in your hair or anything.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and staring at his shoes as if they were the most fascinating things in existence.

Aziraphale glanced at Crowley, hesitating. Crowley nodded and leaned in to whisper, “He’s lonely, poor sod.”

Eric had been true to his word about not attacking them; he’d been lively company, funny, thoughtful, nice. And what kind of treatment was he accustomed to, when his standard for a good meal was not being discorporated?

“That would be lovely, Eric,” Aziraphale said gently. “Perhaps next month, first Saturday? But I must insist you let us pick up the tab next time.”

[quarterette]

Utawarerumono: The False Faces ep 13-25 Liveblog

Gonna just straight up do individual episode comments, since the second half is gonna be denser in content. As with the first half, this is a rewatch and will have spoilers for the games.

Opening Comments: Man there’s not much movement in the animation but its beautiful all the same.

Ep 13:

- *spit take* why are they sending Rulu? IDK if it was because the directors weren’t informed about the whole “baby of the family” detail because I can’t imagine Shis letting this happen

- Interesting how instead being of a secret force that Oshtoru sent, Haku and gang are now the accompanying force to Rulu and Atuy.

- I’ll be pleasantly surprised if Entua makes more sense in the anime than in the games

- oh wow Dekopompo is even worse in the anime, straight-up running off on his own.

Ep 14:

- I like how instead of Atuy catching the arrow the twins have a force field. Granted, it make Atuy even more of a non-entity

- the extreme long shots of the CGI soldiers are really nice. I don’t feel like we see the loss of formations as they come into contact with each other often in war anime

- why are the twins running like that - imo that way too much movement for dainty girls (maybe I’ve watched too much anime)

- wow they totally recontextualized retrieving Shinonon and cut down a lot of potential runtime.

- did they seriously remove Atuy’s bloodlust

- you know open-eyed Ougi is growing on me, him and Nosuri have such lovely eye color

- poor Maroro

Ep 15:

- I’m relieved that the adaptation art makes Raiko look less like Lelouch. Always seemed like lazy design to me, him and Mikazuchi look nothing alike.

- did they introduce the telepaths in MoD? I can’t remember.

- that triple-take of Zeguni dying was just silly. If it were one slice x3 it would have been fine but this... Oshtoru be flexing with that mountain.

- I never really felt calling Witsu an Eva was quite right but with the Akuruturuka.... yeah I see it.

- truly we are in the war arc proper now.

- Heh wouldn’t it have been interesting to have the proxies’ subservience kick in instead of having the twins shield Haku. Oh well missed opportunities. IMO it would have worked well with the accelerated timeline the anime needed to achieve.

- what is with the triple takes this episode

- ah haku wasn’t even able to save them gg

- post episode revisiting the VN comments:

they hint at the telepaths, and as I thought the Vurai razing the city wasn’t in the VN. It was a good showpiece and works with Vurai’s characterization, but messes with Haku’s as a cost - the VN suggests that Haku inherently can be ruthless (he suggests scapegoating Moznu for Anju’s kidnapping, which the anime totally skips over), while it looks like the anime is gonna use this mass destruction as the reason for steeling his heart. I can’t say I hate that the writers chose to have the main characters in the fray, but it definitely requires more suspension of disbelief that everyone got out okay compared to the VN.

- Interestingly we don’t see Oshtoru’s mech form at all. I do like the increased bro scenes between Mikazuchi and Oshtoru

Ep 16:

- Yeah we immediately feel the ripples of that last episode changing Haku’s trajectory... its a logical trajectory but... ugh. I’m not sure how I feel about such a contrary Haku. It wasn’t really a thing in the VN? So frustrating augh. Utawarerumono was never a story big on moralizing about war... and the anime writers aren’t doing a great job adding it in.

- I’m 99% sure they pulled some of Ukon’s lines for comforting Haku here from a conversation they had in the VN waaaayyy back around the gigiri fight, making the scene all the more frustrating. The concepts of powerlessness and loss of life is something that Haku had been introduced to the moment he woke up and had already been working on dealing with. I can’t say its an invalid take that he’d be shook over mass destruction (I mean, most people would) but it’s a sharp deviation from the VN.

- Oh wow they’re totally gonna retool the banquet to deal with haku’s trauma instead of him dealing with his memories of being the LAST OF HIS KIND aren’t they.

- yeah they did

- oh god don’t say the word seduce haku, rulu’s gonna die from blood loss

- lol i don’t remember the twins being tied up

- rulu is dead

- and now haku is dead too. I think only Ougi and Yakutowaruto escaped unscathed.

- this did give me the bro bonding that I had been missing in the show thus far. Not enough drinking scenes! like literally the VN is literally just baths and booze between the action lol

Ep 17:

- ah finally the flashback episode. lol all the crunchyroll comments are like “watch the first season”.

- haku calling his new buddies family... oof mito’s knowing gaze makes it all the much sadder

- Haku:”did you need to go that far” Mito: “lemme do it again with Tuskuru”

- hah “reposition your camera” nice, easy way to not show his face

- heh stares at your sister-in-law’s butt, that’s actually a pretty subtle hint without adapting any of the monologue from the VN that he kinda had feelings for her

- damn this is probably the most complete vision of the future we get in any medium

- hey to be fair the ameterasu blast was mutsumi and not exactly a product of mankind fighting each other - but it does go to show just how little Mito knew about what was actually going down

- to continue with my frustration, we see that haku is called out by his bro that he has a habit of “conceal don’t feel” so it makes his emo bit last episode even more jarring - though in hindsight I guess his depression comes less out of the blue for his friends now - its just that the reason is misattributed

- oof “make up for lost time”

- ooh I like the final scene with Woshis as the delegate to Tuskuru. The VN did fine without it but man what a cliffie for those watching the first time.

Ep 18:

- oof we’re not going to have any shinonon/kiwru antics are we

- man I can’t wait to see Benawi - he was my favorite chara in Uta1 after Touka

- wow they really did just ignore the fact that Kiwru is the prince of Ennakamuy and cut him out of the party

- dugh never mind I don’t like ougi’s open eyes here

- speaking of ougi they totally glossed over his role as reconnaissance

- and have they even mentioned that nosuri is trying to retake their clan’s name?

- cocopo still best bird

Ep 19:

- of course you’ll be sweaty haku, boro boro only wears that brown undershirt in tuskur smh

- i love how all of the dads we see dote on their daughters so much

- of course only now do they mention the fact that atuy and haku are drinking buddies and we just have to take it at face value

- actually seeing those sailor uniforms in action make atuy’s regret that much funnier, the stills don’t quite do it justice (though really, it’s the sound effects carrying the team)

- lol the background soyankekur antics are great

- cocopooooo noooo damn this romance with mukkur is great

Ep 20:

- huhu woshis was allowed down to the underground garden huh

- benawiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

- dang they didn’t use the hot air balloon ;-; so disappointing like if they do it this way they won’t even get to retake the supplies ;-;

- i guess its a good way to hint at kuon’s identity

- something is wrong with kurou’s face

- also where the fuck is nosuri - i know kiwru is a lost cause for this show but nosuri too? they really are trying to wipe out the tactics seen in the VN

- i do think the line about kurou’s line to kuon about “ripping the country in half” is nice - can’t remember if it was in the VN but at this point most of the good lines seem to be coming out of the VN

- ugh the twins are such a cop out, still think they should have went with the hot air balloon strategy

- we hardly knew ye mito

Ep 21:

- dang I’m pleasantly surprised by these CG soldiers

- bye bye munechika, still salty you can’t turn into a mech

- oof “I’m sure my mom was someone like you” this show lives and breathes on dramatic irony

- bye bye anju, what was the point of actually having oshtoru there when the tea was delivered? makes him seem more incompetent than he is, though entua was nowhere to be seen - imo for the best

- oshtoru, an honorable man through and through, giving up your mask, lowkey too honorable for your own good

- okay one of my favorite things is how regularly dekopompo is ignored during the generals’ council meetings; overlapping voices isn’t really a thing in the VNs due to its nature as a written medium first and foremost

- oh interesting Oshtoru’s men are coming to defend him that’s new

- oh no torture time ;-;

- post episode VN notes: ugh they also dropped the Woshis power grab of locking Dekopompo and Raiko outside of the gates

Ep 22:

- Yes go be a dad Yakuto and stop Nekone from doing stupid shit please oh please oh please

- Man they are seriously retooling oshtoru’s downfall aren’t they - wish it didn’t come off so crudely planned. Like, y’all know Oshtoru is loved by the people, did the generals not think some sort of rioting would happen if you let that info go public? Granted the original plot of having Entua sneak the info out is pretty contrived... but at least it better preserves the perceived competency of the generals by forcing a smaller timeframe in which everything goes down.

- man people watching this will be so confused next season when they realize Kiwru is a prince

- wut Kuon you should know you probably won’t be able to get info to the princesses once y’all leave. Good that Shinonon is going on ahead to Ennakamuy though.

- eh are they’re gonna try leaving by sea this time? even though Ennakamuy is in the mountains?

- secret tunnel ~ ♫

- aw no Evenkuruga reveal for Nosuri and Ougi. Though, I guess the anime never established that their base was in the Hakuorokaku basement...

- you know, since they just generalized the jamming barrier it’s kinda nice to see that the gang had to sneak in the hard way. IMO that’s one of the “game design justifies the plot” moments - the VN tries to keep everyone together so you can have all your unit options when fighting, but let’s be honest smaller strike teams work at times.

- oh hi Honoka, you’re not arrested here? guess not.

- oh god have they been translating Atuy’s “onii-san”s as “mister” this whole time? I can’t say that “love” was a better translation but that’s just tragic

- I wish we got more hints that haku actually has been doing some training (aka the SRPG parts of the game) rather than these random moments of competency and knocking out the guards.

- good god oshtoru your honorableness is gonna be the death of you. how can you trust Vurai. Seriously idk how it’s gonna turn out here, but Vurai literally wants to see Anju dead in the VN.

- ok i lie splitting the party was a terrible idea. they are taking way too long to convince oshtoru to take a stand. these men are way too stubborn. jk its fine

- whelp there goes the boat

- aw yeh Yakutowaruto lets go

Ep 23:

- Yakutowaruto continues to be a badass

- ugh and of course Oshtoru gets hurt, and he’s not gonna tell anyone

- ok I’m enjoying how acrobatic these twins are

- the plot change ripples continue to be seen; there’s no distractions at the gates since dekopompo is inside the gates. Raiko’s strategy stuff does make for good tension tho.

- ugh the fact that Soyankekuru is in the capital is gonna complicate things. The moment Atuy is seen to defect he’s screwed. That’s gonna change the timeframe of things second half.

- lol Kuon god powers time, hope there weren’t too many casualties. Poor Nosuri now has two sacks of people to deal with...

- ok I feel like I’m seeing more poor art quality this episode

- wow it seems that everyone’s on board for some arson today

- bruh don’t take him through the sewers Oshtoru’s wound’s gonna get infected

- oh god who thought it was a good idea to give Rulu a blade.

- Cocopo best bird. Period. MVP.

- Soyankekuru, what a guy.

Ep 24:

- ooh mech fight in the city? oh nvm its just a sword fight. a sword fight between two beasts. thank god vurai ain’t that dumb

- wait they said there was a barrier in the palace, but i don’t think there was a barrier for the outer walls? why the frick didn’t the twins just teleport out for the last bit? they were pretty close to the gates... unless they needed the gates open anyways?

- vurai? not dumb? scratch that, good god do y’all not care about the safety of the people? guess not cuz it’s MECH FIGHT TIME (ok, if we’re honest oshtoru’s the one who initiated so yes he’s equally dumb)

- water vs fire, groudon vs kyogre, this is what animation is all about YASSS

- the twins’ shield is too OP

- haku please stop indulging Nekone

- will the twins actually be able to seal Vurai? they were kind of trash at doing their job in the VN (though they did have the good excuse of being exhausted for this particular instance)

- ok that nekone running sequence is jank

- damn haku blocked that punch? oh no he’s on fire

- looking like nekone’s “it was my fault” is gonna be part of a cascade of setbacks rather than the final blow. I’m kinda glad - the VN’s take was probably the most exasperating part of the whole story - gutwrenching but also made me want to punch her. I’m up for arguing whether or not taking that away was a good thing

- oh no the salt. no. how could you put it at the post-credits scene.

- vurai’s confirmed dead? that could be a problem next season.

Ep 25:

- dang what an opener giving us no info just kuon looking sad. we had emo haku now get ready for emo kuon i guess

- nuedori is probably my favorite song after kimi ga tame, such a good song to overlay the time skip over

- man anime viewers must be so confused. like they saw Haku and Oshtoru get out of town but only Oshtoru show up. man this is so effed up.

- no not the fan noooo augh  brokoro in the kokoro

- sad nekone really sells it doesn’t it

- dang I knew Ennakamuy was surrounded by mountains but I guess the anime went and interpreted that as a CRATER

- at least kuon didn’t leave until later in the night?

-i know the twins did a spell in the VN as well but seeing the visual change between haku and oshtoru is a bit silly

- what’s with the flower field that’s so cheesy

- i can see why someone said laughed rather than cried during this particular use of kimi ga tame - the alternating shots to his saltification is just silly, there’s so many prettier shots for showing people dissolving - like the VN gave you a very serviceable “standing on a cliff as the sun rises and you fade into dust” why didn’t you take it

- side note in the VN i was imagining it something like this scene from CCS but different lighting (sorry I could only find the english dub on short notice, timestamp at 1:13:24):

- also how could you get everyone off model during such an important part

- you know what I’m just gonna pretend that there was some really bad production crunch so they had to do a rush job smh

- i do like this orchestration tho

- oh god the cheese never ends, now it’s raining

- that said it’s not terrible, but definitely missing something compared to the VN

- haha with some of your decisions next season you might just end up in Denebokshir Haku. jk we all know how it ends

- boro boro ;-; yes go hug your kid she needs all the comfort she can get

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works 1 - 25 (FINAL) | Waver OVA

Much like the Fate/Zero post, this is mostly a set of notes which has already been released and is preserved here because of the difference editing makes. There was one completely insensitive, uninformed note and a note which I was writing down to be “more in character” which I’ve removed in all instances of the notes, though - it’s better you not know what was being said there. 

F/SN UBW 1 (Prologue)

Now that’s the Rin I know from fandom whispers.

Turns out this is ep. 0 and there’s actually 12 eps…

This brunette reminds me of Maiya.

This wavy haired guy’s a Matou? Geesh, he somehow reminds me of the Great B*stard Archer.

Miss Fujimura’s a bit of a non-sequitur…

If I remember the fan whispers right, his name is Issei Hyoudou…? (Or is that the High School DxD guy?) Update: Issei Hyoudou is the High School DxD guy, this is Issei Ryuudou.

If people die when they are killed, then machines should, too.

I already know from checking up previous info that UBW is for the 5th Holy Grail War and Shiro Emiya is part of it.

The button says “voicemail”…well, it’s actually rusu, where rusuban denwa = answering machine (denwa = phone, so rusu means something like “protecting the house (while you’re gone)”). The best way to translate it would be “voicemail” though.

Fuyuki  Church (Kyoukai)? Rin has them on her voicemail???

I seem to remembr reading that this white-haired character is an alternate universe Shiro Emiya…but I guess we’ll find out later, huh?

Hmm…I’ve seen this Command Seal before. I think it might be Dewbond’s profile pic, in fact…which tells me that he likes Rin.

The compulsion the guy is talking about reminds me of Steph from NGNL and how she was forced to fall in love with Sora.

Rin’s treating this like a gacha game…LOL.

Pride vs. pride, huh? Anyways, I think the really entertaining thing of putting me under the pump like this is that I have such an incomplete understanding of how the Fate/ universe works that the outcomes of everything create enough entertainment for those who’ve committed to said universe. The things that I do know might be really late-game though – such as the white-haired Servant being an alternate Shiro – so I have my own surprises to confirm.

“The Archer class really is made up of archers!” - …and people die if they are killed, y’know? (<- I know this from the memes. I won’t cover Deen/Stay Night, people don’t normally recommend it.)

Why is a cup omnipotent, anyway? Cups don’t have the ability to have knowledge. By the way, I bet Rin’s acquaintance will have something to do with this.

Rin’s Holy Grail War work reminds me of my own experience with piano. Basically, I grew up doing it, so I never questioned it until I thought about what I really wanted to do. I expect Rin will be the same way.

Hmm…Sakura and…the Great B*stard?

Rin says all of this about “crude garbage”, so all I can focus on is the bin off to the side…LOL.

Oooooooh…so this appearance of Sakura is why people put F/Z before this.

Saber…the reason she’s so popular is because she appears in so many incarnations of Fate/ that she’s basically become a poster girl for it.

F/SN UBW 2

There’s something that pisses me off about Sakura. It’s probably because she’s fairly submissive, like a girl who was written to be a guy’s fantasy.

The OP and ED was subbed the first time, so the fact this isn’t is interesting.

I think I’ve seen these scenes before…probably because they look exactly like the setup for Today’s Menu for Emiya Family.

Hypoxia.

Sakura’s boobs jiggled…urgh…

This episode feels a lot more like a VN intro.

Some of these scenes were from a different perspective in the prologue, so I’ll try to skip them.

Stove = heater, if you didn’t catch on.

Oh hey, Emiya isn’t part of the archery club anymore…but there’s some evidence that an alternate Emiya became that Archer Rin has.

That’s Ilya, isn’t it…?

Emiya’s magic incompetence reminds me of Waver.

Shinji is Sakura’s older bro??? I never heard of this…? Step-bro, maybe?

I read one of the labels on the machine – makanai setto – and turns out it’s a [meal] set for staff (teachers).

This series’s messages are like anvils…even more so than F/Z.

Where does Emiya work…? (For some reason, I call Kiritsugu that but Shirou “Emiya”.)

Archer’s not in white…not that much, anyway.

“…I really nearly was killed.” – Yes, and people die when they are killed, Emiya. You said so yourself in Deen/Stay Night.

I know this iconic scene where Emiya stares at Saber! I’ve seen it in all the screenshots and everything.

F/SN UBW 3

The blindfolded woman in the OP is apparently Medea. I think I mentioned her offhandedly in one of the WP posts I did, so I didn’t expect to see her so soon.

Most of this ep is explaining this stuff to beginners. I can skip that.

I don’t get the appeal of Rin, but then again, I’m neutral at best on tsunderes.

Shoten Books? Like, Bookseller Books? How redundant…

“[G]enuine fake priest” - …LOL wut?

Why is Kirei giving me Equilibrium vibes…? Oh, it’s because he has silly hair that reminds me of Christian Bale. That’s why.

Most of this episode was recap from F/Z, so I skipped it.

F/SN UBW 4

I’m laughing – this new Berserker reminds me of Tsukasa (Dr Stone).

Ah, same old Gilgamesh. He’s just in different clothes.

Kiritsugu felt like he actually was a character. Emiya? Just a blank slate, really.

Welp, that was over fast…

F/SN UBW 5

I’m getting sick of Rin’s tsundereness, fast.

Okay, crash course in types of Servants. I needed this.

*Saber reveals the outfit is from Rin* - Ooh, Shiro, don’t go judgin’ Rin like that…

Oh-hoh, Sakura does archery, huh?

I bet Kuzuki actually is a mage. That’s how these things always turn out, no?

Actually, I think Emiya might be a better match for my piano experience. There’s this one person who played at a higher level of piano than I did, but they kept telling me that I was way better than them at piano (although I don’t know if that was self-deprecation and/or inflating my ego). As I mentioned in my relation to Rin, I forcibly cut it out of my life because my parents chose it for me – in short, no desire to hit the target, in one way of speaking.

I can see why Fate/ needed a cooking spinoff now…LOL.

Shinto = New City, with a particular combo of kanji.

Are these Touken Ranbu enemies, Rin…? (They’re called Historical Revisionists, technically, and I specifically refer to enemy wakizashi.)

I seem to remember from somewhere Sakura is Caster’s master…hmm. Another thing to confirm.

F/SN UBW 6

That Rin reaction face! I’ve seen it before!

LOL, that “I haven’t been sleeping lately” is relatable.

Medea is one of the only Servants that was originally a woman, so…it’s interesting to see she’s been given a chain as a method to keep up (but also vaguely annoying to see her have such a short skirt). A chain weapon seems to be the sort of weapon for an agile user, with possible sexual overtones (if you want to interpret it that way), so it seems like it came straight from a male fantasy of a woman.

Rin is the sort that places a lot of stock into obligations, I see.

F/SN UBW 7

I learnt how to read the word “mirage” in Japanese somewhat recently (in comparison to the basics, which I learnt through a CD-ROM maybe…15 or so years ago?). It’s shinkirou.

I find it interesting that these eps. are marked as Fate/Stay Night and the series is Fate/Stay Night UBW, because Deen/Stay Night (as I’ve been referring to the Deen version of F/SN) looks pretty different to Ufotable’s F/SN, judging by that “People die when they are killed” meme.

The subbers spelt “specialty” wrong…

Well, Emiya, being in a room with a girl…alone…you really are a typical VN lead, aren’t you?

LOL! I knew Kojiro was also part of this series and I think I knew he was an Assassin, but s***! He’s an absolute looker!

…and *sigh* Caster is using her sensuality against men. A regular Fujiko Mine, she is.

I think my heart did something when Archer gave that intense stare at Caster, too. This is no time for a reverse harem!

F/SN UBW 8

Ahh! Kojiro Sasaki’s (this Assassin’s) so hot! I love it!

The only person who can beat Saber is another swordsperson, huh? Logic checks out.

That blue ring looks like the one at the start of Shinchou Yuusha’s OP.

F/SN UBW 9

I thought Shinji was gonna barf, but that was actually laughing…that’s what happens when you don’t have the volume on.

This replacement Gilgamesh (Shinji) sucks…

Just squinting at Caster’s chest…boobs do not work that way, people. Fabric goes over things like that, it doesn’t tuck itself so neatly around them.

I think Rin’s a real idiot for ignoring that Shinji is a Master and a mage…

I almost thought Shiro was gonna kiss Sakura for a second there. Apparently you should approach an unconscious person from behind and tap them on the shoulder (as opposed to going from the front to listen for breath), in case they try to punch your lights out.

Watching Eizouken, which doesn’t have girly runs for the girls, and then watching this makes you aware even Rin is capable of girly running…(LOL?)

Gee whiz, I was so sure this purple lady with the whip was Medea and a Caster-class Servant. So she’s a Rider??? Update: So it was Caster, masquerading as Rider…is that how it goes…?

So is this a locked-room – or locked-school – mystery…?

F/SN UBW 10

This is basically “You wanna go?” from Saber.

Considering the coronavirus, these words (about people getting out of the attack completely healthy) seem sort of weird…

Samosan? Seppa seppa? What dialect is this???

*Emiya asks Issei to strip* - Ooh…this is why Fate is popular with women…*thinks of the fact this was a male-oriented VN first* Maybe.

I still think the Great B*stard kinda looks like Kyo from Fruits Basket (…not that I ever mentioned it earlier).

I just realised Taiga’s shirt is striped orange/black…like a tiger.

The amount of still frames in this episode, in comparison to the usual number, is significantly higher.

F/SN UBW 11

I just realised Kinoko Nasu means “mushroom” and “eggplant” if not exactly written the way it is…what a name…

*something about being useful to others* - U-Uwaaaaah…Emiya! Stop reminding me of all the things I’ve done at the cost of myself!

Hmm? I googled Rin’s birthday and I thought she was a Leo – she’s an Aquarius (Feb. 3rd).

Rin absolutely steamrolled Emiya, LOL.

I get the feeling Archer is saying “Only you can save yourself”.

F/SN UBW 12

Randomly, there is a Volkswagen.

*something about Emiya photosynsthesising* - Rin, that’s not how people work…

Batting centre? How can girls go there in skirts without flashing anyone? That’s taking into consideration how short Rin’s skirt is, y’know…(Practicality comes first at all times, people…well, not for Saber, who’s wearing stockings, but I worry about Rin, as you can see.)

People find blushing tsunderes cute…I kinda get it for male tsunderes, but for Rin…not really.

Ack! Another double episode!

Why does this ominous vibe on a bus remind me of Harry Potter…? (Then again, the first things I remember of the movies were a shrunken head and a bus that could squeeze through gaps, which might explain things.)

Hmm? So what is Kuzuki’s place in Caster’s life, huh? Who’s controlling the puppet?

Come to think of it, who is Assassin’s real Master? If Caster has control of him, that means he belonged to someone else before that, right?

I feel sorry for Assassin. I mean, he has to keep talking to Caster with his body torn open like that…

“Princess of Colchis” – So Caster is Medea! Maybe Scott (who said I was wrong about that) was thinking I was referring to Rider. Rider and Caster do look awfully similar…but wait, so what was the real identity of Rider, then? Update: Reading over the notes, I was mistakenly referring to Rider as Caster, hence the comment.

Wolverine!Kirei strikes again, it seems.

Lel, I forgot about Lancer…and Berserker, now that I think of it.

F/SN UBW 13

So this is Brave Shine, huh? It doesn’t sound familiar at all…

…aaaaaaaaand of course Saber is in a fancy white dress. It’ll sell a lot of figures – in fact, I think I’ve actually seen Saber figures with that outfit while browsing for Nendoroids and other merch as of late.

F/SN UBW 14

Well, this blonde guy’s hair is nice…but he’s basically Shou Tucker all over again. (I haven’t even completed Fullmetal Alchemist in any form – I just know what the guy did because the fans talk about it a lot.)

Gosh, evil begets nothing but more evil, huh? (re: Kirei and blondie here)

I gotta facepalm - this blonde dude really shouldn’t have maltreated Medea. She has a reputation for a reason.

It took me a few tries and the brightening of my screen to figure it out, but Caster spotted Kuzuki.

Gilgamesh, what the f*** did you do to those poor maids?! (Even if they were homunculi…)

The subbers appear to have spelt “homunculus” slightly wrong…

F/SN UBW 15

“Going through the front door would be a bad idea.” – Yeah, and people die when they are killed.

I really respect Illya now…and can see why she got her own spinoff.

This snowy mountain makes me realise exactly why they chose Ufotable for Demon Slayer.

F/SN UBW 16

I was wondering what Gilgamesh had torn out of Illya…ew.

I was watching Shazam the other day and a piece of advice the titular superhero gives is “Look out for number one.” (i.e. yourself) Rin has much the same mentality.

I seriously facepalmed when they tried to protect each other. One person should learn to stand down in the relationship for that to work.

Hmm…so this means Lancer’s Master is male, huh? (Why is that Master still a mystery anyway…?)

I facepalmed the third time (the second was soon after the first) when Emiya thought he could seriously protect Rin from Lancer. Knowing who Lancer’s Master is a much bigger priority right now, man – this isn’t a romcom!

I like Lancer’s sideways gaze, LOL.

*Archer comes in* - Well, hasn’t it been a while since we saw this guy? (voice drips with sarcasm)

“druther” – Hmm? I’ve never heard of this word before. Apparently, it means (when used as “If I had my druthers…”) “If I had my way…”.

Hmm? What’s this? There are two pendants instead of one…?

F/SN UBW 17

There’s a lot of shots centring around Lancer’s butt…LOL. (Or is that just the female gaze I’m forcing on to this?) Even still, because Lancer has an outfit like that, it’s kinda hard not to see that he does have a fine one.

“You have a lack of pride in your sword skills.” – Uhhhhhhh…I guess that’s why he’s Archer…?

I never seem to know who the Lancers are…geesh. Like, I could pick one from a crowd of Servants, but not their real names. Update: As it turns out, Karna (the one Indian Servant I had my eye on from Apocrypha) is a Lancer in Fate/Grand Order.

Apparently, Gungnir is the spear of Odin.

Kuzuki is a Master…of the Naruto run. (LOL)

Noting “sieben��� and stuff, I think Rin’s magic is German in nature.

Why does Medea have elven ears, anyway…?

F/SN UBW 18

The subs suddenly turned yellow! What the heck?! (Prior to this, subs were white.) Update: Come to think of it, only Aniplex shows have yellow subs, while Funimation ones have white subs (although HiDive let you choose between white and black, the standard is white on the hardsubs). This might mean a switchover between who’s responsible for the show happened while this anime was airing.

“…within your grasp?”

Ooh, this I didn’t expect! Saber joined forces with Rin!

“…your wish was a mistake.”

*Shiro fights swords with more swords* - For some reason, I feel like I need to play some Daft Punk right now. (I don’t even like them as an artist, even though I’m meant to be the EDM expert around here…)

This all but confirms Archer is actually a Shiro Emiya from a distant future.

I just imagined an Archer whose body was made of swords. What a compelling image – a literal human weapon.

Those hand gestures…Shinji is a massive creep.

Huh? I’ve been skipping the post-credits segments for previous episodes because I’m binging, but there’s a post-credits segment here…

Hmm…this next-ep preview had a rook (or a king? I’m no good at identifying chess pieces by their appearance) with a red glowing symbol on it facing what appeared to be the symbol of the Saber class. What an interesting representation of the upcoming inevitable faceoff.

F/SN UBW 19

Wouldn’t it not make sense for future!Shirou to kill present!Shirou? I mean, you know the time travel paradox…if you kill the present guy, the future guy doesn’t exist.

“Sorry about that, punk.” – LOL. Lancer’s great.

Hey, wasn’t Kirei dea-oh right. In fiction, when there is no corpse, you can’t have assumed the character died. They probably skedaddled off somewhere, heavily bleeding and/or on the edge of death…and I’m assuming that was how Kirei got out of his scuffle too.

All this talk about ideals makes me wanna play Odd Future for some reason, LOL. (Well, the first line of that song is “I keep my ideals”, no?)

“…it is you who is disobeying orders.”

A eunuch, huh? Rin, you do know that a eunuch has his *erhem erhem* cut off…right?

Okay, people. Why must women be the source of the Holy Grail? This is only the 2nd time I’ve gotten to this point and you’ve got enough men to fuel the Grail instead. Why not use them??? Update: It’s safe to say I get my wish later.

“You’ve been removed from the bounds of time.” Subbers, I know you’re under pressure to produce subs, but please proofread…? Pretty please? Update: I should proofread too. My E key is a bit dodgy at the moment.

I predicted, a few seconds before it appeared on my screen, that Shirou wasn’t the type to do things he regretted. Yyyyyyyyyyup. That’s Shirou, alright.

F/SN UBW 20

Okayyyyyy. That was not an episode title that needed to be subbed.

Oh, gosh. Can you please just knee Shinji where it hurts, Rin…? I know you’re being choked, but you could still do something lik that.

…(lol)…What the heck, Shinji’s such a self-preserving prick!

So how many times did Lancer actually die and how many times was he faking it out?

“Dying because of some order that comes with being a hero.”

So who’s Gilgamesh’s Master now…?

Hmm…I thought by saving Rin and Saber, Shirou was already a hero. Maybe it’s just a perception thing.

H-Hey, Shirou…you keep saying redundant things…

F/SN UBW 21

Why is Saber just standing there, anyway…? (Well, Shirou did say it was his fight, but…she can do something…)

Okay, whose idea was it to cut after “However…”?! That’s terrible pacing.

This series peaked quite a few episodes ago. Now it’s just stretching for time.

Um, hey. Random question. Didn’t King Arthur draw Excalibur from the sword in the stone? Is that a stone or a tree stump? It’s hard to tell since the zoom quality is funny, but…if it’s a tree stump, someone got a crucial detail wrong. Update: Nup, it’s a stone. Forget I told you.

Having sacrificed myself for over a year for other people’s sake, I can’t say I agree that giving yourself up for others is a beautiful thing. This is speaking as someone who volunteers at a not-for-profit (the charity store). In fact, having thought long and hard about the fact I’ve completely gone down the wrong path from having taken this one opportunity I was given (note I did get rejected from a similar place before I got the position I did), I’ve thought, occasionally, that sort of thing is disgusting.

Did the Great B*stard even age 10 years while waiting for this new war…?

“…left off 10 years ago.”

Uh-oh. I don’t like Shinji – you can clearly tell that from the way I’ve been reacting to him – but there’s no way you’d use him as a Grail vessel…right?

F/SN UBW 22

If I understand the pink box correctly, it says kayumino-ru which is…*checks that up* itch cream(?) Another of the boxes says either iburon or ipuron, but it seems to be some kind of medicine (although I can’t figure out what it does).

“…flashy gold jerk…” – Yup, that’s why he’s the Great B*stard. The most narcisstic of all b*stards –so narcisstic he survived a Holy Grail War without being the victor.

Lemme guess, Rin…if I know my visual novels right, then the way to establish the mana link is either kissing or sexual intercourse, right? Update: Oh well, transplantation of a Magic Crest will work too. With the way Rin was reacting, I thought it was gonna be really intimate, but…nup. It’s just them taking off their shirts for one another…*whistles and pretends to walk away*

The reason I don’t like tsunderes is that whenever they want to be romantic, you can’t tell whether they’re giving mixed signals or not. Then again, you could argue I count as one, so…uh…*sweatdrop*

Shirou, why are you so concerned for the pillow?!

F/SN UBW 23

You can barely recognise the guy (Shinji)…huh.

H-Hey? You couldn’t mean Assassin’s back, right? Update: Y-Yep, that’s Assassin, alright. At least I can gaze upon his handsome face again…(lol) (<- If you’re wondering, there’s a difference between “lol” (or “small LOL”), “lel” and “LOL”. That’s the order they’re meant to be in, going from smallest to biggest laugh.)

Had to check Wikipedia, but Monohoshizao is the pole (?) wielded by Kojiro Sasaki…well, the correct term is nodachi (which I know better as ootachi from Touken Ranbu), but it’s referred to as a pole. To add something interesting to that, the ootachi I like the most (my beloved Taroutachi) is said to be 221 cm (throwing that into a converter, about 7.25 feet) and 4.5 kg (converting again, about 9.92 pounds)...which is basically something no human should be able to use, so if the pole is anything like Taroutachi...I have immense respect for this Assassin as well.

Assassin’s treatment here reminds me of Tora from Juuni Taisen…in a sense, they got what they wanted.

F/SN UBW 24

Cue the law of equivalent exchange from Fullmetal Alchemist, hahaha.

How can you be so sure you’ll beat the Great B*stard, Shirou???

Well, that Grail’s Holey, alright…(I bet you’re groaning at my joke, yes?)

I thought Archer was dead?! How did he fling a weapon at the last moment?!

Archer, you’re disappearing! This is no time for monologuing!

Why do I get the feeling I’ve seen Rin give the thumbs-up before as well…?

F/SN UBW 25 (FINAL)

Eyyyyyy? London…? Update: Oh, it’s the Clock Tower! That OVA is starting to make sense now! (Although I will watch it next, so there’s no need to muse over it.)

Tohsaka without pigtails is…weird.

Sherou (?)

Oh, romantic infighting (voice dripping in sarcasm)…That’s not what I’m here for. This is not a harem.

Ponytail Rin. This just gets weirder and weirder. Also, she kinda looks like Ishtar from Babylonia like that.

Tiny Pigtail Rin…it gets even weirder.

*yells* See?! It is London after all!!!

Update: Prior to this point, I had Silhouettes (by Avicii) playing in my head on occasion, notably when Archer was meeting his end. When Shirou came face-to-face with Saber’s grave, it switched to So Amazing by Luther Vandross. Although I normally don’t mention what I have on my mental playlist in notes like these, I just want to make note of that because it reflects the switch in mood. (Also, this is basically an extended transition into El-Melloi’s Case Files.)

Hmph. Yeah, nothing like hindsight to make something huge look small.

Sakura and Shinji’s relationship…it reminds me of a grumpy old man and his young daughter…(LOL?)

Ryudou’s reaction to romance reminds me of Tenya (from BnHA) in his more crazy moments.

All this talk about the Clock Tower is making me think that older!Waver will show up at any moment now…

…wa-hey? Well, *spits out some held-back laughter* whaddaya know? That’s the older Waver right there!

Ufotable’s older!Waver and Troyca’s older!Waver look fairly different. Ufotable’s isn’t as attractive because his hair has an artificial sheen to it and the man’s face looks more like a snake’s head in shape, so he looks a bit dumb. Update: Certainly Troyca’s Waver has a more egg-shaped head, but at least that makes his hair look nicer, no?

Post-credits segment. Keep watching.

Huh…that segment wasn’t very substantial. Maybe Hoshiai no Sora spoilt me on that front.  

Waver OVA (REWATCH)

*yells* I still think Flat Escardos is a terrible name!

LOL, I think Waver just called out a bunch of political writers right there.

So who are these old people??? (Lennon Glasses and Old Lady here) I still don’t know. Update: You do find out later – Inorai is the old lady and Rocco is the old man.

Okay, so apparently the set of characters used for “Rail Zeppelin” is literally translated to Demon Eyes Collection Train...sounds like something out of Demon Slayer.

If Kayneth is the OG Lord and this Reines girl is the new one, how did Waver become gen. 2? *rewinds a little* She’s el-Melloi Archisorte, meaning that somehow she and Kayneth are blood-related (also note Monkey D Luffy = Luffy is his first name and Monkey is the last name with D being a middle initial, so Reines could have her names around the wrong way as well). Still doesn’t answer the Waver part of the question, though. Update: The character page of the official website says Reines is the rightful heir to the name “Lord (Lady?) El-Melloi”, but she appointed Waver to be the Lord while she waited to become of age and take the position.  

As you know, I gotta question the guy’s (Waver) age. In Fate/Zero he was 19 and he looks much the same ten years later, so his approximate age range is 19 – 29 here. Wikipedia (which I linked earlier) says the anime this OVA is attached to occurs between the Grail Wars, meaning I might not be able to get an exact age. Update: “[A]lmost 10 years”, so I’d wager he’s on the back end of the age range (24 – 29).

Ooh, another good boy (Bram). I forgot he existed…and that’s kinda nasty that he’s got the bloodline of Sola-Ui in him. Update: Oh! Younger sister! That is nasty!

The word shisho (師匠), if I’m guessing the right characters, means “instructor” (or “teacher” if you wanna bend it that way). “Sir” is Waver’s title…I’m guessing that translatio choice is because he’s not a professor in title, assuming professor titles in this are given like they are in real life.

There’s something quite cute about Waver making such an indignant face…then again, he does have permanent worry lines on his face, so maybe not.

Like, whose bright idea was it to crush on the loli? Ravioli, ravioli, don’t crush on the loli! (Then again, I’m probaby worse, chasing after older men…)

Come to think of it, Ufotable is good at action motion (see exhibit A: Demon Slayer), but not free-flowing comedic motion like Waver falling over like this. That’s probably why the show jumped studios to Troyca (aside from divvying up the work of the Fate/ universe – Ei Aoki did F/Z, after all, so it makes sense he’d have some ability to take dibs on whatever works best for his studio…although he wasn’t too involved with this, I don’t think). Update: He was supervisor and storyboarder for this OVA.

Waver: Official butt monkey of the Clock Tower. Calling it now.

Troyca animates F/Z (however briefly)…I must say, they did a good job imitating Ufotable.

All I really remember from the first time around is the car chase, which really shows my priorities in anime…heh heh.

Troyca’s CGI is more noticeable than Ufotable’s, but they’re still on of the best studios for CGI, I think. That’s why they’re on my favourites list over Ufotable (since Ufotable, by general consensus, does better work but I think it looks more artificial in parts – case in point, Waver’s hair).

Setting up a mystery, like all stories, is very much about setting up the boundaries that you’re allowed to play in later. The only thing is that mysteries get more stringently judged for logic.

Hey, whaddaya know? Waver can fit Rider’s old shirt now! (Or maybe it’s the smaller version Waver implied was given to him during F/Z.)

“[W]hydunit” (in English) – LOL? There’s “whodunit”, but not “whydunit” – stick to “motive” or “modus operandi”, people.

[tayegi]

Revenge is a Dish Best Served... Hot? (m)

When your roommate keeps you up late at night with her noisy rendezvous with male overnight guests, you and Seokjin team up to plot your revenge...  How? With a taste of her own medicine, of course. 

Dedicated to my roommate :”) ily, but please let me sleep.... 

Warning: Seokjin smut

Word Count: 17,051 

*********************************************************************************

Your heart stops in your chest when you walk in through the door of your apartment after a long day at lab—to find your roommate snuggling with a strange man you’ve never seen before on the couch. They look up at the sight of you and casually hold up their hands in greeting, but your roommate doesn’t even bother to move from where she’s practically lying in the stranger’s lap.

“You’re back from lab late,” Lei calls out to you.

You cautiously set your bag on the counter and think through your words before responding, “Yes… and I have to wake up tomorrow at six in the morning to set up an experiment.”

“Aw, you poor thing,” she offhandedly comments before turning back to her new male companion.

You remain standing in the foyer for a few moments, staring at the way she snuggles back into his embrace without a second thought. But neither of them notice your heated glare, and you have no choice but to moodily march into your bedroom… the one located directly next to the living room in which they currently occupy… with the very couch they sit on pressed against the wall of your room, your bed mere concrete inches from their canoodling… Luckily they aren’t having sex this time.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Normally, you are completely cool with your roommate having visitors over. Boyfriends, dates, one-night stands, whatever. You’ve had your fair share of hookups in the past, and it’s not your right to judge… when these hookups take place in the privacy of one’s own bedroom, that is. But your roommate has this strange preference for canoodling in your shared spaces…

And with only a thin wall to separate you from them, you can hear them as clearly as if they were standing right before you. You groan as you hastily change for bed and dive for your earplugs. But of course, it’s useless. You can still hear the high-pitched squeal of your roommate’s giggles through the spongey material. And with each passing second, the anger in the pit of your stomach heats until it reaches its boiling point.

Jin!!! You angrily text your best friend, in lieu of stomping out in the living room and giving the inconsiderate couple a piece of your mind like you’d really like to, She’s doing it again!!!!

Like always, it only takes him a minute to respond, Lei?

Yah. Who else? Ugh, im going fucking crazy!!!

What guy is it this time? The one who grunts like a pig during sex or the one who asked to borrow a pair of your socks?

Neither! It’s a new guy :( 

Just tell them to shut the fuck up.

Akljslkfjsdkflsk

Srsly, ___. Just do it.

>.< ur no help! Forget it.

Want me to come over and do it for u?

N.O. trust me, Jin, that’s the last thing id ever want.

Y? bc u cant stand to see me saving ur ass again?

No, bc ud only make things worse w/ that scary face of yours.

Not my fault ur blind and cant appreciate beauty.

U look like a mean alpaca

Wut??? Y u lyin? Bitch, im beautiful and u know it!

Whatever. ur no help. Now ill just suffer through the rest of the night listening to their gross scream laughing.

Wanna sleep over instead?

Nah, u live super far away. Just forget it. Maybe I can try to shove two pairs of earplugs in D:

U need 2 just grow a pair and deal with this problem instead of avoiding it.

Asjdflklsdfk maybe one day…

Aite, coward. But don’t turn to me crying.

… why are we even friends again?

Bc no one else likes you.

Jin, r u saying u like me…?;)

No. I tolerate u. plz don’t go putting words in my mouth.

Ya ya whatever. love u too, baby <3

Istg if u call me that one more time…

Goodnight, baby 😘 😘 😘

…goodnight

You smile fondly at that last message. Why is Kim Seokjin such a tsundere? Pretending that he doesn’t care for you, when you know that he probably sees you as a little sister to him. But he’s not Jin if he’s not cold and aloof. Shaking your head in amusement, you place your phone down and lie down on the bed with a smile on your face.

You’re not sure what higher power allowed you to befriend someone like Kim Seokjin years ago in college, but you thank that unknown deity on a regular basis. You don’t know how you’d survive the stress of grad school without Jin’s snarky, dramatic, mostly unwarranted comments every day. Just thinking of your best friend is relaxing enough to put you to sleep and within minutes, you feel your exhausted mind drifting off… Until—

“HEHEHEHEHE, you’re so funny!”

Lei’s high-pitched giggling instantly slams you back into full consciousness. You lay there, staring up at the ceiling in defeat, before flopping over to muffle a scream in your pillow. Fuck your life…

*********************************************************************************

“What are you still doing?” Jin groans as he watches you type furiously at your kitchen table.

“Sorry, I just need a few more minutes,” you say as you hastily type another line of code.

“I thought you wanted to grab food!” he exclaims, “Why are you like this?”

“Shh,” you shush him, “Go stare at your reflection in the back of my laptop and shut up.”

Jin sighs dramatically, “I think it’s very irresponsible for a full grown adult woman like yourself to demand that someone drives her to lunch, only to stand them up.”

“Relax, I’m not standing you up,” you mumble as you hastily delete your line of code and reconsider it, “I just need another second to rerun these analyses… And no one told you to pick me up! I could’ve just taken the subway.”

“And get mugged again?” he snorts, “Like I’m going to let that happen. I can’t deal with that again.”

You shoot him a wry glare, “Not everyone can drive around in their fancy little cars, Mr. Rich Kid.”

“Psht. You’re the one who chose to be a broke ass grad student. Who would willingly want to be a student for another four years?!”

“Six years,” you quietly correct him.

“Six years?! Okay, that settles it. You’re officially insane.”

“At least I enjoy it! You’re the one who sold your soul to the corporate overlords and have to suffer through that boring financial… wait what do you do again?”

“How do you know nothing about me?! Investment—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can you come take a look at my analyses?”

“Oh my god… I knew there was a reason you wanted me over,” Jin says with a good-natured sigh as he scoots over to peer at your laptop screen, “Your silly overeducated mind can’t handle a bit of math.”

You scowl at him as you show him the output of your analyses, “Just tell me if this is right or not…”

“What’s the magic word?” he chimes in a singsong voice.

“Sweet cheeks?” you offer.

He immediately scowls, “Forget it. Do your own damn analyses.”

“I didn’t mean that!” You exclaim, clinging onto his sleeve before he can walk away, “I’m sorry, dearest Jin! You are as rich in intelligence as you are in beauty! Please bless me with that sexy brain of yours!”

His lips twitch at your exaggerated words, but to your relief, he concedes, “Fine,” he sighs dramatically, “But only because you asked so nicely.”

You feel the urge to retort back, but you stifle it down in order to show him your output screen, “Please look this over and let me know where I fucked up…”

“What a noble man I am, helping you with the most basic math,” he’s as dramatic as always as he pulls your laptop towards him.

“Yes, my savior!” you pretend to swoon.

Jin actually cracks a smile at that, and opens his mouth to respond, but at that moment, two bodies come crashing in through the front door. Your gut twists in annoyance when you identify the intertwined bodies as Lei and her new man aggressively making out in the doorway.

At least they have the decency to briefly separate when they realize that there is company in the apartment, “Oh, hey guys,” Lei greets the two of you.

Both of you hesitantly wave back. Normally, she would spend longer chatting with the two of you (or flirting with Jin, more like), but this time, she is too engrossed with her new friend. As soon as she finishes greeting you, she reattaches her lips to her male companion’s, and they messily stumble onto the couch to make out more.

You stare at them with a disgusted look on your face, before you quickly catch yourself and politely clear your throat, “So, Jin, what do you think about my analyses?” He doesn’t respond, so you poke him after a second, “Jin?”

“Sorry, what?” he says, forcibly tearing himself from the stomach-turning spectacle, “I can’t concentrate when I’m literally on the verge of vomiting.”

You quickly shush him, horrified that your new guests on the couch might hear his offensive words, “Don’t be like this! It’s a beautiful and natural part of life!”

He ignores you, “Is this the shit you have to deal with on a daily basis?” Jin asks you in horror.

You wince, “Pretty much…”

“Damn… Ok, I’m gonna go beat them both up for you. This is unacceptable.”

“No!” you hurriedly grab his hand before he can follow through on his threat, “Come on, let’s just leave. Aren’t you hungry?”

“___, you seriously can’t keep running away from confrontation!”

“I know, but—ugh!” Frustrated, you shut your laptop and tighten your grip on his hand to forcibly drag him out of the apartment, “Lei, I’m leaving!” You call out before you step outside, but of course, she doesn’t even notice.

As soon as you shut the front door behind you, you whirl around in the hallway to face Jin, “I know that this is gross and really inconsiderate, but what can I do?”

“Just tell her to fucking stop,” he says, his solution as simple and blunt as always.

“I wish I could! But you know that her mother’s the landowner of this apartment complex. I’m paying barely half the rent of what a nice two-bedroom apartment like this downtown should go for! I can’t afford to piss her off!”

“That’s such bullshit,” Jin growls, “You can’t just let her get away with everything she wants because she can hold this over your head. Move out. Hell, if you need somewhere to stay, you can crash with me.”

“Ugh, it’s really not that simple. That’s not a permanent solution.”

“Neither is just letting her get away with this without any consequences for the rest of your life.”

“Yeah, I know… I just need to think of a better approach…”

“Fine. If you won’t talk to her, then get back at her.”

That makes you pause, “Wait… what?”

“Two can play that game,” he explains, “How is it fair that she can be so inconsiderate and rude fooling around with guys in your shared living space? So you should do it too. And she’d be a complete hypocrite if she found fault in it.”

“I…” you blink as you try to think it through, “Wait… that’s not such a bad idea, actually…”

“Of course it isn’t,” he says at once, “I’m a genius, after all.”

“No, you’re really stupid,” you absentmindedly inform him as you mull over his suggestion, “Wait… no, I think this actually could work, Jin! Wow, I just need to find a man to fool around with in front of her! This is exciting!” You exclaim, beaming at this point.

“Yes, exactly. Give her a taste of her own medicine. She probably lacks the basic empathy to understand how gross this is. So you need to let her know how it feels.”

“Ok,” you grin, “I think I will, thanks Jin! I’ll call Jung Hoseok tonight and ask if he wants to come over.”

“Wait—Jung Hoseok?” Jin asks with a wrinkle of his nose, “Are you really going to go down that route again?”

“Sure, why not? I mean, he’s the ultimate fuckboi, and I would never date him, but that’s not what I want from him tonight, now is it? And I think Hobi would always be down for a hookup with no strings attached.”

Still, Jin clicks his tongue in disapproval, “That seems excessive and rather dangerous for this ploy, ___.”

“Dangerous?” You repeat in surprise, “How so?”

But he only ignores you, “Why do you actually have to hook up with someone for real? Why can’t you just fake it?”

Your brow furrows in confusion, “Fake it? How would I fake it on my own? Do you want me to pretend to masturbate or something, you pervert?!”

He cringes at the very thought, “No way, you nasty. I was just saying that I’ll help you act it out in front of her.”

“You? Really? Why would you do something like that?” you ask, shocked by the very thought.

He shrugs, “Why not? It’ll be fun. You know I’d love nothing more than to get back at that gross, overly touchy roommate of yours.”

You pull a face of sympathy when you remember all the unwarranted flirting and excessive skinship Lei had subjected Jin to over the years you’ve lived with her. “But she knows we’re friends. She’ll never believe that we’re hooking up.”

“Why not? I’m hot. Of course you’d want to fuck me.”

You glare at him, but don’t have the energy to discipline him for once, “But why would you want to fuck me? That’s the unbelievable part!”

“Why not?” he says in a flippant tone, “I’m hot and horny, you’ve got tits, we’ve been friends for years, and things just fell together. Boom, done. Now let’s go get omelets.”

“Seokjin, they’ve long stopped serving breakfast.”

“Damn it, woman!” he exclaims, “I told you to hurry up!”

You can’t help but grin at that, “Guess we’re just going to have to eat fried chicken again!”

He shoots you a glare, “Again?”

You beam back, “Yup!”

*********************************************************************************

“Ok, she’s supposed to come back from the grocery store any minute now,” you hiss at Jin that next weekend, when you finally find the time to put your plan into action.

“Alright, what should I do?” he asks as he flops down on the couch next to you.

“Hmm… I’m not sure,” you say as you awkwardly swing your legs over his.

He easily lifts your legs and drags them over his lap, “Should I take off my shirt?” he asks, fingers already fidgeting with the top button.

“No!” You exclaim, sitting up to grab his hands, “What’s wrong with you?!”

“Oh please,” he says with a roll of his eyes, “You know you want to see it.”

“No, I don’t,” you snap back, and for good measure, you pull up the front of his shirt to cover him up to the neck, “Keep that nasty shit to yourself.”

“How is she ever going to believe that we’re fucking?” he sighs.

You pull your legs off of his lap, “I knew I should’ve just called Hoseok,” you groan.

“No, we can make this work,” he says, suddenly leaning down to lay on top of you, hands pressed into the cushions on either side of your face to keep from crushing you, “Isn’t this better?”

But you flush at his close proximity. Whenever you think that you’ve finally gotten used to his impossibly handsome face, he proves you wrong. And lying on top of you like this, with his face inches away from yours… You can see every detail of his face from the sharp angles of his jaw, to the intensity of his dark gaze, and the fullness of his pink lips. Flustered, you squeeze your eyes shut, and blindly fumble out of his grip.

“No, it’s not!” You exclaim as you shove him off of you.

He looks at you, surprised by your dramatic reaction, “What’s wrong with you?”

“N-nothing! I just… I want to be on top instead!” You practically shout as you push him on his back.

Confused, Jin nevertheless complies, “Alright, fine. Whatever floats your boat, you crazy woman.”

You sigh deeply. He’s a lot less threatening now that he’s on his back with his lips far away from yours, and you find yourself finally able to relax. Until you realize that you need to climb onto his body. “I just don’t want Lei to get the wrong impression,” you mutter as you awkwardly shuffle around on the couch, looking for the best position, “Can’t let her think that you’re the one in charge here.”

Jin snorts, but nevertheless crosses his arms behind his head and watches you make your approach under half-lidded eyes, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, babe. Now climb on up.”

Your face nearly explodes with heat from his casual use of the pet name. “You’re so annoying,” you grumble under your breath as you swing a leg over his waist. But it feels ten times more awkward to straddle him, and you quickly scramble up to hover above his stomach instead, avoiding his crotch like the plague. There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence. Then—

“Is this normally how you hook up with guys, ___?” Jin asks as he cranes up his head to try to look at you.

You scowl down at him, “Are you questioning my methods?”

“Yup. Stop being so damn awkward and sit down on me already.”

You flush at his word choice, “J-Jin, I—”

But he grows impatient with your hesitance and takes it upon himself to grab you by the hips and yank you down on him so that you straddle him around the hips, making you sit directly on his—

“Jin!” You yell out in indignation, your face as hot as a furnace at this point as you grab at his vast shoulders for balance.

That smug bastard is as unfazed as always, “What?” he says with a cock of an eyebrow.

You tighten your grip on his shoulders, “Nothing,” you spit out, “You’re just really… skinny,” you say, dragging your nails down his torso as a punishment.

He snorts in response and grabs your hands to flatten against his chest, “Does it feel like I’m just skinny?” he says as he forces you to feel the hardness of his pecs.

“Yes,” you growl, “You bony ass bitch.”

His face scrunches into a scowl and he opens his mouth to offer you an undoubtedly biting retort, but at the moment, the front door swings open.

“Hey, ___, I’m back. How are—AH! What is that?” Lei squeals when she realizes that you’re lying on top of a man, “Wait, is that Kim Seokjin?!”

Your best friend awkwardly pops his head out, “Hi.”

“Oh my fucking god… Are you guys hooking up?!”

“…Uh…Yes?”

Jin winces at your robotic answer and tries to make up for it by smoothing a hand up your thigh, making you jump in surprise, “It’s been like a year now,” he informs her, “Where have you been?”

Lei just shakes her head as she puts down her grocery bags on the ground, “I should’ve known. You guys were always too close to just be friends.”

But that comment makes you frown, “What do you mean by that?”

Jin slaps a hand over your mouth, effectively shutting you up before you can question her further, “Just shut up while we’re still ahead,” he growls into your ear, “And fool around with me.”

“What are you talking about?!” you hiss back, alarmed.

Instead of responding, he splays a large hand across your lower back and shoves you flush against him. It takes everything in your power to keep from squealing out in surprise, but when Jin unexpectedly bites down on your earlobe, you can’t help the squeak from bursting out.

“The hell’s wrong with you?” he whispers in your ear, “Can’t you moan like a normal person?”

“I-I’m sorry? I just wasn’t expecting—eep!” you squeal again when he presses a kiss to the sensitive skin under your chin.

He pulls back with a sigh, “Why are you acting like this? You’re the one who wanted to cause a scene, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did, but I—” You stop there, embarrassed. How can you explain that you were expecting to just roll around, faking it? How naïve could you be?

Jin sighs again, “Fine, you can suck on my neck instead,” he says, craning his head upward to allow you access.

You pause at that, gazing down at the sight before you with wide eyes. Here is the most attractive man you have ever seen in your entire life, laid out before you like a seven-course meal, just waiting for you to have a taste. Your mouth waters, and if not for your crippling embarrassment, you might have dived right in to eat him whole. But this is your best friend… your platonic best friend who has never seen you as a woman. He’s just doing this as a favor to you, and you won’t allow yourself take advantage of the situation and enjoy this too much…

Easier said than done.

The moment you lean your face down, his masculine scent overwhelms you, making you lightheaded at once. You silently say a prayer in your mind, then lean down to press your lips against his neck. It’s a dry kiss—just a peck of your lips to his skin, but it still makes shivers slide down your back. How many times have you imagined touching him like this? Back in the budding years of your friendship during college, this was all you could think about. It would drive you insane, fighting back your urges to touch him, and staying awake at night stewing over your jealousies of his new fling of the week. It can’t be healthy opening this door again, when you’ve been doing so well keeping non-platonic thoughts of your friend out of your mind for so long… But how can you resist?

When Jin makes no sound of protest, you grow bolder, greedily parting your lips, and before you can second-guess yourself, you flick your tongue over his pulse point. There’s a beat of silence, where you realize what you’ve done and crippling embarrassment fills you. You’re just about to sit up and beg for forgiveness, when Jin does something very unexpected. He weaves a hand through your hair and pushes your head closer.

“Jin,” you whisper against his neck, shocked by the action.

He simply hums in response, “Keep going.”

Your heart is fluttering like a little bird in its cage as you silently obey. As though intoxicated, you can’t help but plant a series of open-mouthed kisses across the expanse of his neck, admiring the way his muscles flex as he twists his head to allow you room. But when you graze your teeth across a prominent vein, he suddenly groans.

“Do that again.”

The low, rumbly quality of his voice makes shivers wrack your body as you jump to do as he says. You gently sink your teeth into a patch of skin under his ear and soothe over the bite marks with your tongue until he groans again. You know that the sounds are probably for show—to feign pleasure to your snooping roommate, but you can’t help the way they send heat straight to your core.

Another few seconds of this, and Jin begins to shift from underneath you, presumably from discomfort. Instantly feeling guilty for sitting on him so heavily, you spring up to relieve him of your weight. But you’re a bit fuzzy with arousal and miscalculate your movements, unintentionally sliding down on him further… until your thigh rams into a strange hardness in the left leg of his jeans… wait could that be—?

“Ugh, how long are you two going to continue doing that?!” Lei’s shrill voice breaks you from your reverie.

You spring away from Jin as though burned, “Wh-what?” your voice is trembling, but you can’t help it.

Lei glowers at you from across the room, “I am trying to make dinner here.”

As though completely unperturbed by what had just occurred on the couch, Jin smoothly answers for you, “What’s wrong, Lei?” he asks with a perfectly arched brow, “Does this bother you?”

She glares back, “Not at all,” she spits through gritted teeth. “You know what? I’ll just eat out.” And with that, she snatches her purse off the counter and marches out the door.

You flinch as the door slams after her. Then you turn to stare at Jin with wide eyes, “Oh my god… I can’t believe that actually worked.”

He chuckles, “I told you it would, didn’t I?”

You laugh along with him, even as you peel yourself off his body and slide to the floor, “Thanks, Jin. She actually believed it! Now she’ll think before hooking up with a guy in our common space again!”

“Great. Just let me know if you need my help again,” he says as he rises to his feet.

“Wait, are you going somewhere?” you ask in confusion as you watch him pick up his phone from the coffee table and slip it into his pocket.

“Yeah, I have work in the morning. I should go home and prepare.”

“But I thought we were going to get dinner after this?”

“Next time,” he says as he makes his way to the door.

You’re a bit stung by his cold rejection. He doesn’t even have the decency to look at you as he blows off your dinner plans. Normally, you’d scold him for this kind of behavior, but this time, you’re a bit relieved that he’s leaving after such an awkward encounter.

“Ok. I’ll text you?”

“Yeah. See you later,” and without a second glance, he walks straight out of your apartment.

As soon as the door closes behind him, you collapse into an undignified pile on the ground, groaning weakly and clutching at your still pounding heart. What the hell had happened back there?!

*********************************************************************************

Unfortunately, it becomes apparent over the next week that your ploy with Jin did not work at all. Lei brings home a new guy less than three days after your romp on the couch, and to your utmost dismay, they go at it all night long. You’re basically a walking zombie the next day at school, horrifying your lab mates by the way you hog the French press throughout the entire day.

By the time you finally leave lab that evening, you’d like nothing more than to just faceplant in bed hibernate for about a decade. You trudge into your apartment complex, let yourself in through the front door, and nearly jump out of your skin in surprise at the sight of Kim Seokjin chilling on the couch.

“AHH! You scared me!” You exclaim, clutching your heart in fear, “How did you get in here?!”

“Your doorman recognized me and let me in the building,” Jin informs you, completely unfazed by your dramatic reaction.

“Oh… that makes sense… Wait, no! How did you get into my apartment?!”

“I have a spare key.”

“Oh…” You say, blinking at the realization. Then—“Wait, what?! How do you have a spare key?!”

“Your mom gave me one.”

“She did what?!”

“Shh. Keep your voice down. You’re so noisy,” he says with a wince. “I wouldn’t have had to barge in here if you would just pick up your phone… Why are you so late?”

“Late for what? …Oh shit. We were supposed to have dinner tonight, weren’t we?!” Wide-eyed, you dive for your phone, and sure enough, there are three missed calls, all from Jin. “I’m sorry, I don’t have service on the subway.”

He scoffs, “I could’ve just picked you up from lab.”

You hastily shake your head at the very thought of it, “Seriously, it’s not a big deal…”

“Fine… what do you want to eat?”

You hesitate, “Jin… it’s always nice to eat out with you… but maybe it’d be nicer to get take out?”

He squints at you in suspicion, “What’s up with you?”

Damn! How did he see through you so quickly? You widen your eyes, trying to play innocent, “Nothing! I just… wouldn’t this be more convenient?”

Still, he scrutinizes you from head to toe with those sharp eyes of his, “Why are you saying this? And why do you look so terrible? Do you have manuscript deadlines again?”

“No, that’s not it,” you quickly say, not wanting to worry him.

“Midterms? Bad meeting with your advisor?”

“No, no. None of those. Seriously, don’t worry. I just didn’t sleep well last night and I’m kinda tired.”

He leans forward so far that his nose nearly brushes you, making you instinctively jump back in surprise, “It’s Lei again, isn’t it?”

You freeze at that, like a deer caught in the headlights, “N-no?”

But he sees through you like you’re transparent, “Ugh, so our scheme didn’t work?”

You awkwardly drop your eyes to your feet as vivid memories of what had transpired between the two of you in this very room come flashing back, “No, I don’t think so… But hey at least we tried, right?”

You don’t have to look up to know that he’s boiling with anger, “Hell no!” he curses, “Are you seriously going to let that asshole get away with it? No, we’re just going to have to think bigger!” He dramatically declares.

“Jin…”

“Trust me, ___we’ll make her regret messing around with you like this.”

“Ok…” you warily agree, “If you say so…” but you can’t shake the excitement that bubbles in your chest at the thought of what he has in store for you.

*********************************************************************************

The next day, you find yourself propped up on the kitchen counter with Jin standing between your legs.

“When is Lei coming home?” he asks as he casually rubs his large hands over your thighs.

But you’re too distracted by the feeling of his warm palms on your bare skin that you can’t think, let alone respond. Why did you choose to wear shorts today, of all days…?

“___?” he says your name in confusion when you take too long to respond.

You jerk your head up in surprise, “Y-yes?”

He frowns at your strange behavior, “Your roommate… Lei. When is she coming back?”

“I… um…” you blink hazily at him, too mesmerized by the beauty of his perfectly symmetrical features up close to process his words, “What?”

He raises an eyebrow, and tries to ask the question for the third time, when there’s the sound of a key in the lock. “Hurry and kiss me.”

“W-what?!”

But at that moment, he reaches forward to cup your face in both hands and presses his lips against yours. The door slides open, and Lei curses at what she finds in the kitchen, but you barely notice. You’re too fully engrossed in the heady sensation of Jin’s silken lips sliding against your own.

“Hi guys, I’m home!” Lei practically yells to catch your attention.

Jin pecks your lips one more time before he pulls away to flash her a displeased look over his shoulder, “Hey.” And with that, he leans in to kiss you again.

Normally, you’d be embarrassed by this public display of affection, especially with your best friend of the last half-decade. But you can’t process anything other than the fact that the most beautiful man on planet earth is kissing you… finally. Never in a million years would you have ever predicted such a thing.

“What are you doing?” Jin whispers to you between long, languid kisses, “Kiss me back.”

That makes you realize that you’ve been completely still this whole time, unable to move one inch from fear as you passively accept his kisses. Tentatively, you begin to move your lips against his, but as soon as you reciprocate, Jin suddenly freezes. For a moment, you’re terrified that you’ve offended him somehow. Are you a terrible kisser? Do you disgust him?

But less than half a second passes before he emits a sound from the back of his throat that sounds suspiciously like a moan, then deepens the kiss. Surprised by the action, your hand instinctively flattens against his chest, but you’re unsure if this is to push him back or urge him closer. Jin interprets it as the latter and steps forward until he’s flush against you, forcing you to feel the hard lines of his body.

You must be possessed. There’s no other way to explain it. Why else would you take it upon yourself to explore the firmness of his torso with interest? It is completely unlike you to boldly slip your hands under his thin t-shirt and grope at the tight muscles of his stomach like a fucking pervert.

To make matters worse, Jin doesn’t provide an ounce of resistance as he eagerly arches into your touch and slides his hand from your face to grab at your hips instead. Then, he suddenly grabs at your thighs, forcing them to lock around his waist. And that’s when you feel it again. The strange hardness in his jeans that you felt a week ago during that incident on the couch. And there is no fucking way of mistaking it this time: Kim Seokjin is aroused. He has a fucking boner that you caused. What the fuck is happening?!

At that realization, heady arousal slams into you with the force of a sledgehammer. All you can think about is grinding against his erection. You want to touch him, kiss him, feel him all over. But most of all, you just want to make him feel good. It’s more than a desire at this point, but a raw need. At this point, you are so drunk off the sensations of his hard body pressed against yours and his sinful tongue sliding down your throat that you almost do something very stupid. Your hands dart to his belt, tingling with the need to touch him—

But the hard slam of a door makes you break away from him with a little yelp.

“You guys are fucking disgusting,” Lei mutters under her breath as she escapes to her bedroom.

There’s a brief moment of disoriented tension between you and Jin where all that can be heard in the kitchen is your heavy pants. But then he steps away from you, leaving you cold from the lack of contact.

“Jin…” you whisper in a small voice, “Wh-what was that?”

Despite his harsh breathing, your best friend seems relatively unaffected by what had just transpired between the two of you. He nonchalantly shrugs, “What do you mean?”

You stare at him for a moment, but the sight of his flustered appearance, with his full lips swollen by your kisses and his cheeks tinged a rosy shade of pink, only makes the voracious desire in the pit of your stomach flare with need. You tear your eyes away, “I… I don’t know. I think… I think we may have taken that too far.”

“Whatever. It worked, right?” his tone is unexpectedly cold as he responds.

You glance up in surprise before lowering your gaze again, “Yeah… but what just happened… um… should we talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about?” he snaps, “We took it too far, right? We’re just friends, right?”

“Right…” you hesitantly reply, wondering what you’ve said to piss him off so much, “Just friends… nothing else… It’s not like we’re attracted to each other or anything crazy like that…” you say, praying that he’ll object to that obvious lie. The burning erection in his pants is undeniable proof otherwise.

He snorts, making you look up in hopeful surprise, “Don’t you even try lying to my face.”

“…Jin?”

“There’s no way you’re not attracted to me, so don’t even try with that bullshit.”

That was not what you were expecting at all. Angered by his arrogance, you flash him the deadliest glare that you can muster, “You’re so full of yourself, Kim Seokjin. Do you really think that every girl in this universe wants to hop on that dick?”

“Of course not,” he smoothly says, “but you clearly do.”

“How is your head so fucking big?” you snap, horrified by how spot-on he is with that assessment. “And look who’s talking: you were hard as a rock, asshole.”

Jin’s eyes pop open, as though shocked that you’ve noticed. “Yeah, so what?” he spits back, even as he awkwardly hovers both hands over his crotch area, “I’m human, of course I’m gonna pop a boner if someone’s fondling me in such a perverse way! Don’t think you’re special.”

Your face heats at the insult, “Really? So you weren’t attracted to me at all? You would’ve just popped a boner for anyone?”

“Yeah, exactly,” he says with a glare, “It’s just like masturbating, isn’t it? Being touched feels good.”

“Great,” you growl, “Well you can go take care of that yourself, dickface.”

“Or you could do it for me.”

That makes you stop in your tracks, “Wh-what?”

He rolls his eyes at your dramatic response, “Don’t get any ideas in that simple little mind of yours. It’ll just feel a bit better than my own hand.”

Anger flares in your chest from his condescending tone, and before you know what you’re doing, you’ve reached over to grab him roughly through the pants. “Does this feel just a bit better than your own hand?” you mock him as you massage his erection with both hands.

Jin licks his swollen bottom lip before shooting you a glare relatively devoid of any real anger, “Barely.”

Your eyes flash, and then you’re reaching into his pants to grab his bare cock. This time, Jin can’t help his instinctive reaction to your touch, doubling over as though he’d been punched, “___!”

You ignore him to squeeze what you can of his length in the restrictive confines of his pants. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.”

His eyes dart to yours, “Don’t you fucking dare do that or I swear to god, ___.”

You resist a shiver at the sound of his uncharacteristically deep voice that’s dropped an entire octave with arousal. Drunk on his reactions, you would happily obey, but a new thought pops in your mind about how the two of you aren’t alone. You pause and try to remove your hand from inside his pants, but Jin quickly grabs your wrist, fearful that you might leave him hanging, “Lei could come out and see us,” you remind him in a hushed voice.

He relaxes slightly at that, “Then we’ll go into your room,” And without waiting for a response, he drags you in that direction.

He practically bursts into your bedroom and kicks the door shut behind him. You blush at the sight of your messy, unmade bed, but Jin gives zero fucks as he eagerly sprawls across your sheets and yanks at his belt. As you watch him, you can’t help but feel a bit of trepidation. This is your best friend of half a decade. If you cross this line, you might as well be flushing years of friendship down the toilet. What are you doing right now?

But at that moment, Jin finally gets his belt undone and yanks down his pants and boxers without a second thought, his hard dick instantly bouncing up to slap against his stomach. As soon as your eyes land on his throbbing length, you’re done for. All thoughts about the ethics of this situation drop from your mind as you crawl onto the bed after him, eyes fixated on his bare cock and practically salivating at the sight.

Jin watches you from under hooded lids, seemingly nonchalant as he lays back against your headboards, hands propped behind his head, but when you grab him in your warm hand again, his entire body spasms.

You can’t get over the feeling of him in your hand, so hard and big, yet velvety-soft to the touch. And the way he keeps twitching, as though trying to jump closer to the heat of your hand, is intoxicating.

You gently squeeze him from base to tip, marveling when copious amounts of precum slide down his cock from your action. It slickens your movements, allowing you to give him longer, harder strokes with each passing second.

After a minute or so, Jin suddenly crashes his head back against the wall with a loud groan of frustration. Startled, you look up at him, and nearly jump out of your skin in surprise to find him already staring down at you, his gaze so heated that you feel almost painfully hot in your own skin.

“Jin…” you whisper his name, cringing at the dry, broken quality of your voice. You lick your lips for moisture, ignoring the way his eyes lock on the gesture, and try again, “Jin, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he says, but the word comes out as a strangled groan, “Fuck.”

No matter what bullshit he tries to tell you, you know that he likes this. He likes this a lot, if the way he shivers and pants, his hands clenching and unclenching in the sheets underneath him is any indication. His teeth are gritted so hard that you can see a muscle jumping in his cheek, revealing just how difficult it must be for him to hold back his sounds.

You pout slightly at the realization. You’d like nothing more than to hear him moan for you. But you have a role to play here—you’re supposed to be completely indifferent, and begging for him to moan your name would ruin that purpose, no matter how much you want it. Somehow, you still value your ego more. Just like he does.

So you pump him harder, lowering your eyes to your work to avoid the heat of his gaze, and biting down hard on your bottom lip to resist the urge to taste him… The hot precum leaking from his tip is so tempting, but you force yourself to stay strong. You can’t let him win, like he always does. Not this time. It’s been your mission in life to prove to him that you’re not just another one of his fawning fangirls hanging onto his every word. You refuse to be that person… maybe because you want to be more than just that to him…

If you let your emotions take control right now, then you’ll be doomed. You’ll let him know how much you care… How much you’ve always cared about him. And then he’ll just laugh you off, like probably does with all the other love-struck admirers. You stand no chance. This will be as much as you’ll ever get from him.

And with that in mind, you suddenly slow down your pace, realizing that this is the only chance you’ll get to ever touch him. You close your eyes as you try to remember every detail—the weight of his cock in your hand, the very texture and warmth; his ragged breathing and the way he looks, whole body drenched in sweat. It’s then that you realize with a sinking heart that no man will ever compare. That this is it.

“Fuck, ___,” Jin groans, tearing you away from your thoughts, “Are you trying to kill me?”

You ignore him to wring your fist up his length, paying special attention to the sensitive head of his cock.

Jin curses again, “Fucking hell, ____! Why are you doing this to me?” He shifts in obvious discomfort on the bed, hips lifting towards your stingy touch.

“What do you mean?” you say as you examine his heavy, pulsating erection. It’s so hot and red, you can only imagine that he’s practically at his bursting point. You almost feel sorry for him. But if he hates this so much, he can just get himself off. His hands are just about as good as yours, apparently.

Jin throws his head back and groans deeply when you slide a thumb across his slit, “You’re fucking doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Why would I do that?” you snort, “Aren’t you just getting a little desperate?”

“Yeah, because I want to fucking cum and you’re making it impossible,” he spits back, “Why are you so lazy? Why can’t you put in some fucking effort?”

“I’m just not interested,” You smoothly lie through your teeth, “This is so boring to me.”

“If we’re just friends and you’re not attracted to me whatsoever, then why the fuck are you even doing this?” Jin growls.

He’s got you there. “And if you’re not attracted to me either, then why do you want this so badly?” you shoot back, instead of addressing his question.

“Because your hands are soft and I want to fucking cum on them!” he practically snarls, “Don’t you dare think this has anything to do with you.”

Your nostrils flare in anger, and you’re almost tempted to just drop his cock and stomp out of the room. But that would mean that you’ve let him get under your skin. And you’re determined to not let him affect you one bit.

“Fine,” you snap. And with that, you begin jerking him off as fast as you can.

Jin’s entire form crumples at once, as he practically folds his larger frame over you. He’s a bit slow with his reactions this time and doesn’t have the self-control to hold himself back before a strangled moan tears through the room.

You ignore him and the wetness in your underwear as you impatiently stroke him towards his orgasm. His precum is still flowing, but it’s not quite enough, and you quickly duck your head to spit on him to further lubricate your movements.

Clearly not expecting that, Jin shouts out your name, astonished by the vulgar action, “___!”

“Shut up,” you growl in response, redoubling your efforts. He’s so close right now. You can feel it viscerally as if it was your own pleasure. The way his arms shake with the effort to keep him upright, the way his breathing goes haywire, and the way every muscle in his body tenses like a coil… He’s either on the edge or right there. And true to your expectations, it only takes another minute of your harsh pumping before he’s suddenly latching out to grab you with both hands.

“Fuck!” he shouts, entire body trembling as he bursts all over your hands. Any semblance of self-control disappears at that instant, where he helplessly jerks his hips up into your hand, desperate for more friction.

You patiently stroke him through his orgasm, using his excessive cum as lubrication. He meets you stroke for stroke, and the fluid motions of his hips makes your mouth go dry. You’ve never seen anything so fucking hot as Kim Seokjin when consumed mindless by his powerful orgasm.

But all good things must come to an end, and a few seconds later, he pushes away your hands with a shiver of overstimulation. You reluctantly withdraw and stare down at your cum-coated hands. For a second, you’re nearly overcome with the need to taste him by sucking his cum off of your fingers one by one. Somehow, you resist and reach over to pluck a few tissues from the nightstand, “Ew.”

Jin is still breathing too hard to respond. He shakily brushes his sweaty bangs off his forehead and tucks his spent length back in his pants, “Sh-shut up.”

You ignore him to reach for the hand sanitizer instead, intentionally rubbing it on in front of him to prove a point.

A heavy silence suffuses the room, and you have no idea how to address it as you carry on with your act. You realize that the logical course of action is to kick him out of your apartment… But you don’t really want to do that.

“Come on,” Jin says, breaking through the tension, “Lie on your back. I’ll eat you out or something.”

But the way he says it makes it sound like a chore, and your face heats at the implication, “Forget it, asshole. Don’t even front. I know what a selfish bastard you are.”

His brow furrows with indignation, “What the fuck? I’ll prove to you just how wrong you are. Get on your back, kid.”

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say to him as it just encouraged his competitive drive. You try a different approach, “No way. Why do you think I would ever want that?”

“Are you still playing this game? Calm down and let me rub one out for you.”

His crassness makes you shrivel up in embarrassment. There’s nothing you’d want more, but you know that the moment you drop your pants, he’ll realize how turned on you are… You’ve already soaked through your panties at this point, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you left a stain against the bed sheets. And he can’t know how aroused you are from just pleasuring him. You would never survive the embarrassment.

“Stop it,” you say, “Just leave me alone.”

You’re not sure if you’re more relieved or disappointed when he concedes. “Fine,” he bites out, “I didn’t want to go through that effort anyways, so you spared me.”

That stings more than it should. “Whatever. Just go home, asshole.”

Jin doesn’t even look at you as he angrily buttons his pants and yanks his clothes back into place. Then, without sparing you a single word, he marches straight out of your bedroom. You count down from ten in your head, and the moment you hear the front door slam shut, you collapse onto your bed with a deep groan. It feels like all the energy has left your body, making you feel exhausted enough to sleep for a decade.

What you had just done to Jin… That was single-handedly the sexiest experience of your life. And yet… why do you feel so empty?

*********************************************************************************

You don’t speak to Jin for the next week. For most friends, this is a pretty normal occurrence. But you and Jin are so close that it’s odd to not speak to him for even a day, much less an entire week. The first few days are tough. You almost forget that you’re fighting multiple times throughout the week, and pick up your phone to complain to him about the harsh feedback your advisor’s sent you, or the annoying thing Lei’s done this time, before you collect yourself.

But when the 10-day mark rolls by, you feel your defenses crumbling. You find yourself pausing in the hallway outside of your apartment, staring down at your dry phone with a frown. Normally Fridays are your bi-weekly dinner dates with Jin. It’s been a tradition between the two of you since you were in your second year of university. Surely, he wouldn’t be petty enough to forget this… right?

You’re about to pull up Jin’s contact in your phone to call him when a family of four nearly plow you over in their hurry to the elevator.

“Sorry, Miss!” the frazzled mother yells out before she shoos her children into the elevator.

It’s too hazardous to stand out here in the busy hallway, so you quickly unlock the front door of your apartment unit and let yourself in before hitting the green “call” button. You’re just about to toss your keys on the counter when a loud vibration makes you jump in surprise. Oh, you thought you were home alone. Lei was supposed to be out until late tonight. You look up to greet her, but the smile slides right off your face when you find someone much bigger than Lei sitting in the living room. The keys slip between your fingers to fall to the ground with a loud clatter.

“Oh, shit.”

But Jin beats you to it, rushing across the room to pick up your fallen keys for you, “Here,” he says as he hands them to you.

“Thanks,” you resist the urge to shiver as his fingers brush yours. Then you drop your gaze to your feet, too overwhelmed by his sudden appearance to look him in the eye, “Jin, what are you doing here?”

“Tch, don’t tell me you forgot about our dinner night?”

You peek up at him in embarrassment, “Really…? You’re not still mad at me?”

He rolls his eyes at that, “How can I be mad at you for something so stupid? Come on. Put down your backpack and let’s go.”

Suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, you lurch forward to throw your arms around his neck in a painfully tight embrace, “I’m sorry, Jin!”

He chuckles as he hugs you back, “Don’t be, ___... Seriously. Don’t be.”

You’re not sure what he means by that, but you don’t care. All you know is that you have your best friend back, “Let’s never do anything so stupid again.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes when he finally lets you go, “If you say so.”

*********************************************************************************

Jin insists on walking you back to your apartment after dinner (even though his car is parked just on the curb), and you decide that it’s only proper to invite him in for a drink. But as Jin watches you fumble around in the kitchen with a beer in his hand, he suddenly shoots you with an unexpected question:

“Hey, ___, have you ever thought about me as more than a friend?”

You nearly drop the glass you had been cleaning in shock, “Wh-what?”

“We’ve been friends for a long time. Surely you must have thought about it one time or the other?” he calls out as casually as if he was discussing the weather.

You slowly put down the glass as you deliberate your next words carefully. But how can you evade the question without straight-up lying to his face? “I… I’m not sure why you’re asking me that,” you slowly say.

Jin sighs deeply and plops down his beer on the coffee table, “Stop cleaning and come sit with me for a second.”

There’s no way you can reject that simple request without appearing suspicious, so you reluctantly wipe your hands and join him, “What’s up, Jin?” you ask as you cautiously take a seat next to him on the couch and fold your legs underneath yourself.

He pauses for a moment, fiddling with the hem of his oversized cream sweater, before speaking, “I know that I’m not your type. That’s what you’ve been telling me since we first met. But surely over the past five years that we’ve been friends, it must have crossed your mind at one point or the other, right?”

You gnaw on your bottom lip, unsure of his intentions behind this line of questioning, but terrified, nevertheless, “I’m not sure what you mean, Jin.”

He sighs in frustration before trying again, “Come on, ___. You can be honest here… Have you ever thought about fucking me?”

Your mouth instantly goes dry at his question, and for a moment it feels like you can’t breathe. “Wh-what are you--? Why… I-I never!” you choke on your words, then hurriedly backtrack to try to fix your mistake, “I mean, I’m not blind. I can admit that you’re objectively hot, but that doesn’t mean that I want to—” You break off, embarrassed beyond belief, “God, Jin! Where the hell is this coming from?!”

But the tall dark-haired man purses his lips together tightly and steamrolls on, “Really, ___? So you’re trying to tell me that in our five years of friendship, not once did you ever think about me sexually?”

You take a moment to inhale deeply and brace yourself, “Never,” you lie through your teeth.

His eyes narrow, “Really?”

“Really.”

He cocks his head to the side as he considers you, brow furrowed as though deep in thought. Then, he unexpectedly lets out a bark of laughter, “Bullshit.”

Your eyes widen in shock, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Bullshit,” he growls, “I know it’s not all in my head. I know that you want me, ___.”

Your face heats with indignation, “What the fuck’s gotten into you these days?!” you seethe, “I know how you act with the other girls, but can you keep your oversized ego in check with me at least?!”

“Fine, if you’re not the least bit attracted to me, then come here,” he says, grabbing you by the hands to drag you closer to him on the couch so that your thighs touch, “Do you really feel nothing when I’m this close to you?”

“No!” You exclaim at once, though you can’t help the way your body floods with warmth at the feeling of his hands on your skin.

“Really? Look at me, ___. You seriously don’t want to kiss me right now?”

“No, not at all!” you shriek as you try to rip your hands out of his grip, but he’s a lot stronger than you expected.

“So what you’re trying to say is that you feel nothing for me,” he presses on, a strange desperation flashing in his eyes before he quickly masks it, “There is absolutely no attraction between us, and you’ll only ever see me as a friend?”

“Yes,” you lie, since it’s all you’re good at, “I don’t like you, Seokjin, and I never will.”

At that, he drops your wrists as though burned, “Alright,” he mutters in a bitter tone, “I understand.”

You suck in a deep breath through your teeth to try to calm your pounding heart. It doesn’t work. “Good,” you whisper in a hoarse tone. Then you rise to your knees and smash your lips to his.

Jin is completely still for the longest, most devastating second of your life. You’re about to furiously apologize then throw yourself out the window in disgrace when he suddenly grabs you by the back of the neck and forcibly deepens the kiss. And then his tongue is in your mouth, boldly pressing past your teeth and curling with yours as his fingers tighten around your neck, holding you captive.

His kisses are nothing like the modest, chaste ones he gave you in the kitchen a week and a half ago. This time he’s on the edge of violent, devouring you whole and holding onto you so hard that you have zero chance of escape. It’s as though he’s afraid that you might try to leave again. But you wouldn’t even if you could. Because this has been five whole years in the making. You’ve wanted him since the first time you laid eyes on him. And now that you’ve finally got him…

You feel like you’re drowning under the heat of his touch. It’s like the blood rushing through your veins has turned to molten lava, burning you from the inside out. You’re completely powerless as you get swept up by your desires, like a leaf in the wind. All you can do is relish the sensations, clinging onto Jin with both hands as you silently beg him for more.

And he does not disappoint. Without missing a beat or breaking the heated kiss, Jin shoves both hands up your shirt, hot fingers trailing along your stomach and ribcage for a second before he boldly grabs your breasts. You gasp into his mouth in surprise, and the sound turns into a guttural moan when Jin slides his mouth from yours to suck deep bruises into the tender skin under your jaw. The multitude of sensations leaves you breathless. But before you can rip off your shirt to allow him better access, Jin suddenly jumps up and hauls you off your feet with formidable strength you weren’t aware he possessed.

His lips are on yours again before you can comment on this new development, distracting you with hot kisses until your back hits something springy. You break from the kiss with a yelp of surprise to find yourself in your bedroom, pressed flat against your messy sheets as Jin continues to mouth at the crook of your neck. Somehow, he had carried you to your room when you were unaware. And now that he’s not limited by the awkward positioning of your bodies on the couch, he’s able to lower himself on top of you, trapping you under his broad frame with no restrictions.

“Jin!” You yell out in shock when a shift of his hips has you feeling the painfully hard erection in his jeans for the first time.

He ignores you to yank on one of your legs, forcing it to wrap around his waist and allowing himself surface area to grind against as he loses himself to his lust. And then it hits you like a slap to the face that this is actually happening. That this isn’t going to be some casual make out session or another quick handjob. That after all of these years of fantasizing and waiting, you’re finally going to have sex with Kim Seokjin. This is actually happening.

“Seokjin,” you murmur his name when he begins nipping down to your cleavage, making him freeze in his tracks.

“…Yes?” He asks as he stares up at you with fearful wide eyes. You instantly recognize the trepidation in them, confusing you for a moment before awareness dawns upon you. He’s scared… because he thinks that you might ask him to stop. And you know that he would. He would do it in a heartbeat if that’s what you wanted. But he’s so aroused that it wouldn’t be anything short of excruciating.

So you giggle softly to dispel his fears and affectionately lean up to nip his earlobe, “Take off your clothes, Jin,” you whisper in his ear.

Your sultry request incites something within him, because less than a second passes before he’s shooting up onto his haunches and ripping off his clothes at lightning speed. You gasp out loud at the sight of his bare chest, hungry fingers darting to touch the hard muscle, but before you can make contact, Jin pushes your hands away to undress you as well. In a blink of an eye, your shirt hits the ground along with your bra. Jin pauses for a moment there, distracted by the mouthwatering sight of your breasts, but quickly refocuses when you wiggle out of your jeans and carelessly kick them off to the ground, leaving you decked in only a pair of thin cotton underwear. And together, the two of you peel them off your legs, leaving you entirely naked before him.

“Fuck,” he curses, eyes shamelessly devouring you from head to toe as he runs his tongue over his lips over and over, practically salivating at the sight of your bare body spread out across the sheets.

Embarrassed, you try to cover yourself with your hands, “Jin…”

He possessively rips your hands from your body and pins them above your head, “Don’t you dare cover yourself from me,” he growls before covering your lips with his swollen red ones again.

His grip is as strong as steel around your wrists and you couldn’t break free even if you wanted to. You never knew that your handsome, princely best friend possessed such strength, and it’s sexy to say the least. He had always seemed almost delicate, like he would be flimsy in bed, but you could’ve have been more wrong. It feels like a wall of concrete is closing in on you, surprisingly well-defined muscles rippling with every movement, and you feel light-headed from the intensity of your arousal.

“Fuck me, Jin,” you beg as you careen your hips up for friction.

He curses softly at this, but somehow resists, instead slipping his hand down to cup your mound, “How are you so fucking wet?” he asks in shock as he easily slides a finger inside of you.

You clench down on him at once, moaning at the sensations when he begins curling his finger inside of you. But it’s not enough. Not when you know how big and thick his cock is, and how much more nicely it’d fill you up than his slender fingers. “Seokjin,” you whine, “Please just fuck me.”

He bites down on his plump bottom lip at that, but somehow manages to refuse you with a shake of his head, “No. I gotta stretch you out first, baby. So I don’t hurt you.”

“I can take it, Jin!” you exclaim, practically thrashing underneath him when he slips another finger inside of you, rocking them both up against your g-spot in a way that makes you see stars in your vision.

Jin groans softly as you clench around him as hard as you can, clearly imagining his dick in the place of his fingers… which he could easily have, if he wasn’t so damn stubborn. “N-not yet,” he says, but the tremble of his voice gives him away.

“Please!” you mindlessly beg, “I want your dick so bad, I’m going to die if you don’t fuck me right now! Please, Jin!”

He falters at that, and when you lean up to bite down at the thick muscle of his neck, Jin’s resolve crumbles entirely. “Fuck, okay,” he breathlessly agrees, and with one last harsh twist of his thumb against your clit, he rises onto his knees to yank at his belt. “Get a condom.”

You’re so distracted by the residues of pleasure that continue to buzz in your system that you can’t process his words for a moment. But when you finally do, you hastily shake your head, horrified by the very thought, “I’m on birth control… And we know each other. You’re clean, right?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Then please cum inside of me, Seokjin,” you purr, wrapping both legs around his waist and rubbing your drenched slit against the front of his crotch.

His eyes darken at that, and in a blink of an eye, he has his jeans and underwear shoved to mid-thigh and his burning hot erection gripped in his hand. You can’t help the gasp that tears from your throat at the sight. He’s bigger than you remember. Not only is he long, but unbelievably wide in girth. You like dick as much as anyone else, but this is almost excessive. For a split second, trepidation breaks through the cloud of arousal. There’s no way he will fit… not without a great deal of pain, at least.

Jin senses your hesitation, and he lowers his head to give you a soft, reassuring kiss, “I told you to give me time to stretch you out,” he says as he gently slides the flat of his cock against your pussy lips.

That snaps you out of it, and you quickly shake your head, absolutely resolute as you spread your thighs for him, “I don’t care. Do it next time. Right now, I just need you to fuck me before I go insane!”

Jin pauses at that, “Next time…?”

You ignore him to lift your hips up, grinding your sopping wet pussy against his dick, “Please just put it in, Jin!”

He chokes back a groan at that and licks his lips, “Fuck, alright.” And his former line of questioning lost through this distraction, he shakily presses the head of his cock against your entrance, biting down hard on his bottom lip when it pops past the barrier, allowing him to sink in a good inch or two before he forces himself to stop. “A-are you okay?” he asks, voice quivering as hard as the arms trying to brace themselves on either side of your head.

It’s a bit uncomfortable having your entrance stretched this wide to accommodate his girth, but it’s not intolerable. So you nod your head and spread your legs wider, allowing him a full two more inches into your delicious heat before you press a hand against his stomach to stop him. “Ow, give me a moment,” you say with a wince.

He jerks his head in a curt nod, trying to be respectful of your needs, even as his hands grip around the sheets tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. In the minute he allows you, he restlessly noses around your neck, darting his tongue out to taste random spots, as though seeking any distraction to keep from shoving the rest of his cock inside of you like he desperately desires.

Taking pity on him, you raise your hips to meet his until you’ve got nearly half of his enormous cock inside of you. Already, it’s a bit more of a stretch than you can handle, and your body automatically attempts to push this foreign item out of you by tightening and squeezing around him. It’s completely instinctive, like a knee-jerk reflex, and you realize too late that it’s the absolute worst thing you could do to a man with his self-control shred to tatters.

The moment he feels your walls clamping around him as tight as a vice, Jin throws his head back with a gasp, then slams the rest of his length inside of you with a single jerk of his hips.

You’re suddenly overwhelmed, filled to the hilt, and you’re sure he’s hit your cervix by the sharp pain that stabs your lower stomach upon impact, but you wouldn’t dare stop him. Even the pain is poignant, the sharpness chased by the sweetest aftertaste of pleasure that has you hungry for more.

“A-are you okay?” he breathlessly asks, even as he begins to surge forward in your heat, hips immediately picking up a rapid pace.

“Yes!” You yell out, “Please don’t stop.”

“Fuck,” he curses as he digs his fingers into your thighs hard enough to bruise. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, you feel so good.”

You wrap your legs tighter around his narrow waist in response, silently urging him on as he literally fucks the thoughts out of your mind. As a result, neither of you notice the bang of the front door swinging open until a voice calls out—

“___, I’m home!”

You stiffen at the sound of Lei’s voice and dig your nails into Jin’s back to keep him from moving, “Shit,” you whisper, eyes wide with fear at getting caught, “We need to be quiet!”

Jin’s hot pants fill the air as he struggles to hold himself still inside of your hot pussy when all he wants to do is fuck you into oblivion. He manages exactly ten seconds before his eyes flash dangerously, “Fuck that shit,” and with that, he pulls back on his heels and slams into you so hard that your entire body knocks back into the headboard, and a scream of his name come tearing from the back of your throat before you can help it.

“Seokjin!”

There’s the sound of something clanging noisily as it hits the ground in the other room, followed by Lei’s cursing, “What the fuck…?”

Jin laughs under his breath as he continues to drill into you, delighting in the shrieks and bubbles of noise you helplessly emit. “Fuck, ____,” he moans dramatically, so that his voice can be heard through the thin walls, “You feel so good.”

You bite down on your bottom lip to hold back your laughter as you catch onto his wicked plan, “Oh Jin, please fuck me harder!” you wantonly moan at the top of your lungs, “Harder, baby, harder!”

Jin flashes you a brilliant grin before reaching up to bang his fist against the headboard, the loud thuds echoing throughout the room, “Like this, baby?” he half-yells, even though he has fallen motionless inside of you.

“Fuck yes!” You scream so loudly that even Jin jumps in surprise.

That is the last straw, and a second later, you hear the front door opening, “You guys are fucking disgusting!” Lei shrieks in the shrillest voice imaginable before slamming the door shut.

There’s a brief moment of silence before Jin blinks at you, “Do you think we finally got your revenge?”

“I sure hope so… What more can we do?”

A stunning smile stretches across Jin’s handsome face as he peers down at you, “Want to take this to her bed instead?”

You stare at him with huge eyes for split second, shocked beyond belief. He stares back with a raised eyebrow. Then, the tension breaks and the two of you burst into hysterical laughter.

“This is crazy!” you yelp as tears fill your eyes from how hard you’re laughing. This whole thing is just so ridiculous! Not in a million years did you ever imagine yourself to end up in such a wild situation! You clutch your aching tummy as you continue to be overcome by peals of laughter, and as a result, you don’t notice that Jin has fallen deathly silent until he suddenly grabs you by the hips with a snarl.

The laughter dies in your chest as you take in the sudden intensity of his cold stare, “Jin…?”

He tightens his grip around your hips when you shift around to try to look at him better, “Stop. Fucking. Moving.”

You instantly obey, freezing to ice as the implications of his words hit you like a ton of bricks. Your hearty laughter, with him buried deep inside of you, has probably shaken him up in the most agonizing way possible… Flustered, you nervously chuckle, unintentionally constricting and vibrating around his cock again.

Jin falls on top of you with a tortured groan, hands sinking into the pillow on either side of your head as he helplessly drives his hips forward into your warmth, “I thought I told you to stop moving,” he hisses as he pulls out just to ram himself inside of you, up to the hilt. And just like that, the tension breaks as the desire to cum rushes back, ten-fold.

“Oh my god, Jin,” you groan as he begins to mercilessly pound you into the mattress, “How are you so fucking big?”

He chuckles breathlessly, “I hope you’re not in too much pain in the morning.”

“I’ve already lost feeling in my legs,” you say, even as you wrap them tighter around his lithe waist, “What is this damn elephant trunk of yours?

That makes him laugh again, sweaty face flushing with a tint of pink, “I’m sorry baby girl.”

“Don’t be,” you groan, “Because it’s fucking awesome.”

“I promise I’ll be gentler next time,” he guarantees you through heavy pants, “But right now… I need to cum… fuck, I’m so close, ___.”

“Me too,” you groan, blindly lifting your hips for more. And as a result, you’re too dazed by your need for an orgasm to process the meaning behind his words. This whole situation should be unbearably uncomfortable and weird—you’re fucking your best friend of half a decade, after all. But for some reason, it feels right. Like you were meant to have him buried in your pussy. You’ve never known what empty felt like until now that you’ve finally experienced the ecstasy of complete fullness.

Warmth is bursting at the seams of your legs, coloring your vision a rosy tint, but still, it’s not quite enough. So you slip a hand between your sweaty bodies, seeking that extra boost that will send you off the edge. But before you can rub yourself to completion, a hand knocks yours to the side.

“Let me,” Jin offers, brow wrinkled in concern as he resumes drawing circles around your clit for you. It takes you a second to recognize the emotion on his face as jealousy—over your own touch on your body. It’s so childish and yet endearing that you can’t help but laugh at his illogical reaction. However, your amusement quickly dies in your chest when Jin vindictively digs his thumb into your clit with the perfect amount of pressure, sending you catapulting towards your orgasm so fast, you experience whiplash.

“Oh my god,” you whimper as you trash from underneath him, practically bucking him off, “I’m going to cum!”

Jin moans from deep in his chest in response to your warning and leans down to suck a hickey into your neck, “Do it,” he breathlessly commands you, “Cum for me now.”

Like a puppet on a string, your body automatically obeys, and with just one last hard slam of his cock into your fluttering walls, you squeeze your eyes shut and cum all over him. The white-hot pleasure overwhelms you, filling every cell of your body with blinding light such that your mind blanks entirely. Consequently, you’re too caught up in your own pleasure to notice when Jin stiffens above you, his own release triggered by the sudden vice-like clamping of your walls over his dick. He cums noisily, grunting your name and spitting various curses as he snaps his hips back and forth, riding out his orgasm in bliss.

When he’s emptied every last bit of his hot semen inside of you, Jin finally pulls out with a deep sigh of contentment. There’s a few minutes of blessed silence where the two of you simply lie there, nuzzling into each other with soft kisses, and listening to your racing hearts slow. You feel sluggish with exhaustion in the aftermath of your orgasmic bliss. And it feels so nice to have Jin gently mouthing at your neck as he holds you close to his body, both arms looped possessively around your waist like he never wants to let you go. Your eyes feel so heavy that you can’t help but close them, as you reason with yourself that it couldn’t hurt to doze off for just a few minutes…

But of course Jin has to go and ruin the peaceful atmosphere with his big, fat mouth.

“See? I knew you were attracted to me,” he chuckles, voice muffled by your skin.

And just like that, the mood breaks and your jaw drops with indignation, “What the hell?” you angrily shove him off of you.

Bewildered by your sudden shift in mood, Jin nevertheless rolls over onto his back, “Huh? ___, what’s wrong?”

“How are you so fucking arrogant, Kim Seokjin?” you growl as you hunt for your clothes.

“What? No, I’m not!” He protests in confusion, “How is it arrogance when I’m just stating facts? You’re clearly attracted to me! Why else would you have jumped me like some kind of feral animal?!”

Your face grows hot at the unflattering reminder, “Oh my god, shut up, Jin. I must have had a minor stroke or something. I don’t know what else could have possessed me to act in that a way. I’m such a basic bitch!”

“Why are you acting this way? It was good, wasn’t it?” he asks with a touch of defensiveness.

It was more than good. It was amazing. Mind-blowing, really. But there’s no way in hell you’ll boost his ego by letting him know that. “You have a big dick, I’ll give you that. But that doesn’t mean shit.”

He colors at your insult, “And you think you’re all that? All you did was lie down and take it, ___. I might as well have been fucking a ragdoll or something.”

“Oh yeah? Well look at you, asshole. I gave you a handjob and let you fuck my pussy. And what did I get in return? Just a bruised cervix.”

Jin splutters at the complete unfairness of your words, “B-but—what are you even—I tried to reciprocate, but you wouldn’t let me!”

You choose to ignore that, “All I hear are excuses! I seriously can’t believe you, Jin. Were you honestly expecting me to fall to my knees and thank you for blessing me with your dick?”

“Why not?” he hotly shoots back, “You were literally begging me to fuck you earlier. I think you could show a bit more appreciation.”

You heat up further as you remember the shit you said in bed, but you resolutely refuse to allow any embarrassment or weakness to show in front of him, “I don’t know who you think I am, Kim Seokjin. But I’m not one of your fangirls who pray that you’ll look in their direction, and allow you to use them like disposable sex dolls. That won’t work with me. I’m more than that. Jin, you know I am,” you say, hoping that he will agree with your statement.

To your disappointment, he snorts in derision, “Yeah right. You may pretend to be all high and mighty, but I know you’re just as thirsty for this dick as the rest of them. Just admit it, babe.”

Your ego is torn to shreds, yet you make you last attempt, desperate to not let this opportunity slip past you, “I won’t be another one of your playthings, Jin. I deserve better.” There’s a brief moment of silence following your confession. You’ve wanted to say this since you first caught feelings for him all the way back during college, and the fact that you’ve finally gotten this off your chest is both liberating and completely terrifying. You know that your chances are slim at best, but you can’t help but hope against hope.

“Tch, whatever,” is Jin’s gruff response when he finally catches his breath, “Fuck you too.” And with that, he collects his clothes and stomps out of your bedroom.

You sit there for a long time after he leaves, helplessly staring after him. Not even in your wildest dreams or most frightening nightmares could you have ever predicted him reacting in this way. With all of your years of friendship, you actually believed him to care about you. So his blunt, heartless rejection is agonizing to say the least. You had expected an awkward rejection—maybe a half-assed hug and a promise that you’d find someone else at worst. But you have never witnessed such coldness from this man who you had considered to be your best friend.

Suddenly wracked with shivers, you slowly slide under the covers and pull them over your head. The remnants of his cum is still seeping out of you, sliding down your leg to stain your sheets, but you’re too numb to care. You can only lie there and stare up at the ceiling as you fight the urge to cry.

*********************************************************************************

You can’t bring yourself to crawl out of bed the next morning until nearly noon. You know that you look like a hot mess with your hair matted and eyes swollen from crying. All you want to do is grab a glass of water from the kitchen to keep from dehydration, then spend the rest of the day cooped up in your bed.

Unfortunately, as you pour yourself water in the kitchen, Lei hears the commotion from her bedroom, and hurriedly rushes out to intercept you.

“___!” She yells your name, making you cringe.

God, you really need to get your own apartment… You take another long swallow of your water before you slowly put the glass down, “…Yes?”

She places both hands on her hips, clearly upset with you for some reason you can’t fathom, “How dare you pull a stunt like that last night!”

You wince at the volume of her voice, “What do you mean?” you ask, glancing longingly past her to the open door of your bedroom.

“Don’t you even try to play dumb, ___! That stunt you pulled with Seokjin! How could you do that to me?!”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Irritation fills you for the first time at her hypocrisy, “Maybe we were a little loud, but so what? You bring home men all the time!”

“That’s not what I’m pissed about!” She says with a childish stomp of her foot, “Are you kidding me right now, ___?!”

“Lei, I really have no idea what you’re trying to say!” you exclaim, frustrated by this situation. Why is she acting up like this when you’re already feeling so miserable?

“You can’t possibly be this dense!” she practically shrieks at you, making you heat with anger, “I don’t care if you hook up with random guys! I care if it’s Kim Seokjin!”

“Why?” You yell back, “What’s so different about that asshole?!”

“What’s so different?” Lei repeats, dumbfounded, “Are you fucking—he’s different because I liked him!”

It takes a few seconds for you to process her unexpected confession. You open your mouth, as though to reply, but your words fail you. Instead you’re left gaping at her like a fish out of water as you try to wrap your mind around this. “Wh-what?” you finally croak out, “Lei, what are you even saying?”

“Don’t even try to play dumb,” she huffs, “I know how close you are to Seokjin. I bet he told you fucking everything! That lying bastard… Can you believe he rejected me by saying that he didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but then he goes and screws around with you just a year later?!”

You’re still reeling. “Hold on,” you say as you dig your fingers into your suddenly aching temples, “I need a moment to process this…”

But Lei ignores you to continue ranting, “Seokjin is an asshole, and we all know this. I’m not surprised. And I don’t care if you’re dating now. That’s fine. I don’t even care that you guys show your sickening PDA in front of me… But to fuck the guy who you knew I liked so noisily when you knew I was home?! Now that’s actually messed up, ___.”

You wince at the accusation, “It’s not like that, Lei. I seriously didn’t know!”

Your roommate sniffs loudly, “Yeah right, bitch. I hope that you’re pleased with yourself,” and with that, she turns dramatically on her heel to march out of the apartment.

“Wait, where are you going?!” You anxiously call after her.

“To fuck Jung Hoseok!” She informs you with a perfect flick of her long curls over a shoulder.

You flinch in shock, “Wait, you’ve fucked him too?”

“I guess he got tired of waiting for you,” she snickers before she slams the door shut.

You stare at the front door for a few seconds, contemplating your next course of action. What you really want to do is chase after your roommate and clarify this huge misunderstanding with her, but it’s clear that she won’t be receptive to anything you’re saying right now. So you decide to put that problem on the backburner. But for the meantime…

Your expression darkens as you pull out your phone to scroll to Jin’s contact. Done with being sad, your tears have all dried up and now you’re just pissed. Time to get some answers from this shady fuckboi.

*********************************************************************************

“Oh,” Jin’s eyes widen at the sight of you on his front door step less than half an hour later, “___... when you said that we needed to talk over the phone earlier, I didn’t realize that you meant in person… and right now.”

“Why? Is not a bad time?”

He shakes his head and moves out of the way, “No, please come in.”

You remove your shoes at the entrance before slowly walking across the vast apartment and taking a careful seat on his expensive leather couch. He lives by himself in a luxury apartment tower in the heart of the city. This is what happens when you don’t make the poor decision of entering a six-year doctoral program and living in near-poverty conditions until you’re thirty. Must be nice…

“How did you even get in here?” Jin asks as he pops open two beers from the fridge and hands you one.

You gratefully accept the icy beverage, “The security guard let me in.”

“What? Why?!”

You shrug as you take a sip, “I dunno. He seems to think that I live with you.”

“Oh… That’s weird.”

“Yeah…”

Things between the two of you are still awkward from the events of last night. All you can think about when you look at him is how good he looked in your bed, drenched in sweat and swollen red lips parted in pleasure. But the heat rising in your blood quickly chills over when you remember the way he had rejected you and crushed your ego mere moments afterwards.

“I had a really interesting discussion with Lei earlier today,” you say as you take another cautious sip of your beer.

“Oh?” His eyebrows raise in surprise, “About what?”

“About something that transpired between the two of you last year…”

“Oh…?” He folds his hands awkwardly in his lap, and it might just be your imagination, but does he suddenly look nervous?

You twist in your seat to face him, “Jin… why didn’t you tell me that Lei asked you out?”

His face blanches at the accusation and it seems like he wants to deny it at first, but thinks better of it, “I… I just… I mean, I didn’t see the importance of bringing up something like that…”

“How is it not important?” You snap back, temper rising, “Lei is my roommate. And you’re supposed to be my best friend! How could you have kept such a thing from me?”

He shrugs and drops his gaze to his lap, clearly abashed, “I dunno… It just wasn’t a big deal…”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” You practically yell at him, horrified by his heartlessness, “And to fool around with me in front of her when you knew she liked you?! How could you have done such a thing?!”

His ears are flushed pink at this point, “You’re right. I’m an asshole. I deserve this…”

But his apology still doesn’t explain shit. “You’re not normally like this!” You exclaim in frustration, “Why are you acting all shady and weird?! This isn’t like you!”

He shrugs again, unable to make eye contact at this point even if he wanted to. His broad form is shriveled up with shame, making him look like a little boy caught stealing. “I don’t know…”

That answer isn’t good enough, “Cut the bullshit, Kim Seokjin!” you growl at him, “And just tell me, once and for all: Why didn’t you tell me about Lei?!”

He chews his plush bottom lip for a few seconds as he mulls over his answer, “Because I didn’t want to,” he finally admits.

You’re practically tearing out your hair at this point, “And why’s that?!”

“I just didn’t want to!”

“Why the fuck not?!”

“Because I was afraid that you would never date me if you knew!”

The confession hits you like a slap of icy water in the face. It’s so unexpected, so completely disorienting that you can’t even wrap your mind around it. For a moment, you fear that you’ve misunderstood, “…What did you say?”

Jin’s entire face is as red as a tomato with embarrassment, but with enormous courage, he forces himself to venture on, “You’re a loyal person, ___,” he says in a small voice, “I’ve known you for five years now, and I know that you value your friendships above all else… Chicks over dicks, right?” he says with a humorless chuckle, “I knew that if you ever found out about Lei having feelings for me, that I’d be off-limits. And then I’d never have a chance with you!”

Oh god… What is he even saying right now? Could the great Kim Seokjin, the ultimate playboy with girls throwing themselves at his feet, begging for a chance, actually have feelings for you…? This can’t be real. “Jin…” you whisper his name, “Do you… do you like me?”

He winces at your question and buries his burning hot face in his hands, unable to respond except for a stiff nod of his head, “More than that…” he finally manages to choke out.

Your world spins dizzily around you, and you’re grateful that you’re sitting, otherwise you might have fallen over with the way your knees suddenly weaken to mush. “B-but… but why haven’t you ever said anything to me?” You croak, trying to process this bewildering situation, but it still feels like you’re in a dream.

“And get my heart broken?” he snorts, derisive, “No thank you.”

“How are you so positive that I’d reject you?” You ask, looking up at him in confusion.

“Are you serious, ___?” he says in astonishment, “You’re the one who tells me every day how you’re not attracted to me. And that you only see me as a friend.”

You flush at the accuracy of his words, “Yes, but that’s because you’re a fuckboy! All you do is hookup, and you don’t care for relationships.”

“Maybe that’s because I’ve been waiting for the right one.”

That statement takes your breath away, “But… b-but,” you stammer, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why does it matter?” he bitterly counters, “You never reciprocated my feelings, and I’m not good enough for you, so why bother?”

“What?!” you explode at that. You’ve never heard anything so untrue. “What the hell are you talking about?! No one said that!”

“You have!”

Your face scrunches into a deep scowl, “What the fuck? No way! I would never say something like that!”

“Are you kidding me?! ___, you literally just said this to my face last night!”

“I did not! Do you have listening comprehension problems or something? Because there’s no way I would ever—”

“ ‘I deserve better’,” He spits out, quoting you word-for-word, “I get it… And I agree, okay? You do deserve someone better than me. But saying that to me like ten minutes after my dream of getting to touch you finally came true… That was too cruel, ___. Even you have to admit that.”

You’re so taken aback by his rant that you can’t even speak for the next few seconds. All this time… through the past five years of friendship and secret longing… this was all due to a simple misunderstanding? For a frightening moment, you fear that you might cry.

“Jin,” you whisper in a strained tone when you finally find your voice again. He peeks up at you in curiosity. You take a deep breath to stay calm, then firmly place both hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look you straight in the eyes. You won’t tolerate any misunderstandings this time. “Jin,” you say his name again, your voice clear and firm this time.

“Yes?” He says, looking up with a glint of hope shining in his eyes.

You squeeze his shoulders, and without breaking eye contact you say in the most serious tone you can muster, “You are the dumbest motherfucker I have ever met.”

His face crumples at once, “What?!”

You ignore his offended expression and tighten your grip in his broad shoulders, “You have no language comprehension skills whatsoever, and I fear that you might be illiterate,” you inform him with a straight face.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Jin exclaims, bewildered by your unexpected attack, but offended nonetheless, “I’m smarter than you, at least!”

You shake your head while kindly reaching a hand up to stroke his handsome face, “God must have invested all his time in your face, and forgotten about your brain, you dumb son of a bitch.”

He sits up with indignation, “Look at who can’t even write a simple line of code! I do all your homework for you, you idiot! How dare you call me stupid when you couldn’t survive grad school without my help?! If I’m illiterate, then you’re—”

You cut him off with a rough kiss that momentarily takes his breath away.

Instantly, the anger slides off his face, replaced with something much softer. Jin slowly runs his tongue over his lips and looks up at you with dreamy, half-lidded eyes, “It’s not fair for you to kiss me like that when you want me to shut up… Especially when you know how I feel about you.”

You playfully flick his nose in response, “It’s not my fault that you’re too dumb to realize that I’ve been in love with you since our second year of uni.”

His subsequent reaction is so hilarious that you wished you thought to capture it on film. With his doe eyes bulging, jaw dropping, eyebrows shooting into his hairline, Jin looks like a clown or some kind of slapstick comedian and you can’t help but giggle at his reaction, “You’re so silly.”

That snaps him out of it, “Why am I the one who gets all the blame?!” He exclaims in indignation, “You’re just as dumb as me, if not more! Why would you insist that you weren’t attracted to me?! What did you expect?! For me to try to make a move, thinking that you would never reciprocate? If I’m dumb, then you literally have an IQ of fifty!”

“How am I dumber than you?” you gasp, “You can’t understand spoken language!”

“Yeah? Well you can’t talk!” he shoots back, “ ‘I deserve better.’ How did you expect someone to interpret such a vague statement?! How can you criticize someone for misunderstanding when you can’t even speak properly?!”

His neck is turning red with anger, the veins bulging and his eyes as wide as a frog’s. You open your mouth to berate him, but instead burst into laughter, “Oh my god,” you choke out between semi-hysterical sobs, “How am I in love with such a crazy madman?!”

He pauses at that, “Wait… you’re in love with me?”

“Yeah, dumbass. If you didn’t have the language comprehension skills of a seven-year-old, you’d realize that when I said ‘I deserve better,’ I meant that I wanted to mean more to you than just a hookup…”

He falls silent at that, mouth forming a perfect “O” of realization. “…That does make a lot more sense…”

“Yup…” And with that, you pull out your phone to rapidly type out a text message.

Jin looks at you with a pout, “Wow, you confessed your feelings not even a minute ago and you’re already on your phone! Is this what our future relationship will look like?!”

You glance up from your phone to shoot him a wry grin, “Calm down, you needy child. I’m just texting my friend who recently got licensed as a neuropsychologist. We’re getting tested for our first date,” you say as you affectionately ruffle his black bangs.

Jin’s eyebrows shoot up with surprise, “Why? You know we’re both clean—we literally had sex yesterday!”

“We’re not getting tested for that,” you chuckle, “I’m setting up an intelligence assessment… So I can prove that my IQ is higher than yours, once and for all!”

His jaw drops at that unexpected turn of things, “You’re insane!”

“Am I?” you shoot back, “Or are you just chicken?”

He shakes his head with reluctant amusement, “Fine. Let’s do this. But how are you going to explain to our future children that you brought their father to take a fucking IQ test to prove a point for their first date…? Whatever,” he says with a scoff, “Please hand me that dictionary on the coffee table.”

“…Future children?” you numbly repeat, even as you follow his instructions. Then you quickly snap yourself out of it, “Wait, what are you doing with that dictionary?”

“Studying up,” is his curt reply, “I have to beat you at the test to prove to you how dumb you really are.”

Gasping with indignation, you quickly drape yourself over his shoulders to ogle at the small print of the book in his hands, “You’re on, asshole!” And with that, you reach over him to rapidly flip through the dictionary, trying to disorient him while soaking in as much information as possible.

This whole situation is ridiculous. It’s unbelievably childish and you should be ashamed of this type of behavior at your age… Yet, when Jin briefly turns his head to press a kiss against your cheek before evilly blocking your view of the dictionary, you can’t help but smile. Because as immature and absurd as this situation may be, for some crazy reason it feels right.

“You’re also going to write Lei a heartfelt apology letter for your behavior,” you say with a little nip at his ear.

He stiffens at the reminder, his neck flushing with embarrassment, “Yes, of course. I’ll go and do it right now.”

But you stop him with a hand on his thigh, “It can wait until the morning,” you inform him, “But for now…” you rub your palm over the bulge forming down his left pant leg. “I promise I’ll be patient this time.”

Jin’s eyes are heavily dilated when he twists around on the couch to look at you, “You better,” he says in a quiet, rumbling voice, “Because this time, I intend on enjoying you.”

Your pulse quickens and liquid heat fills the pit of your stomach. Because for some reason, his words sound like a warning… “Yes, please,” you say in a hushed whisper, eyes as round as saucers.

“And this time, you wouldn’t dare accuse me of not reciprocating,” he murmurs, hot breath fanning across your face, “I’m going to eat you out until you fucking beg me to stop.”

“Oh God,” you croak, arousal dampening your underwear at the very thought.

“No,” he smirks, “Just call me ‘Jin’.”

There’s a brief moment of silence as you slowly process his lame joke. Then—“Oh my god, Jin!” You groan as you shove his face away from yours, “Way to ruin the mood, dumbass!”

“Wait, what? No! Come on, ___, you know that was hot!” he says, lowkey panicking as he tries to reach for him again.

You simply sigh as you situate yourself on the couch with your legs spread, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just start eating me out so I don’t have to listen to your dumb dad jokes any longer.”

“Yah! How dare you?! I’ll have you know that hundreds—no, thousands of girls would have killed to—”

“Shut up and get to work,” you bark with a rough tug of his hair.

Chastened, he instantly drops to his knees, “…Yes ma’am!”

*********************************************************************************

Author’s Note: Please don’t ask me about any sequels or updates! This is solely a one-shot and will not be continued :) But I’d love any feedback! 

[numinex919]

What Doesn’t Kill Me - Chapter 2

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171611/chapters/35279288

Rey strides out of the boardroom, gritting her teeth, head down. She stares at the notepad and digital tablet in her hand so that no one will notice how bloody furious her boss makes her.

She’s starting to consider that being horrid might be his default setting.

His obvious lust for power combined with his sycophantic fawning over the company chairman, Mister Snoke, is revolting. And she hasn’t even met the latter yet.

But it’s the twist of distaste in his expression whenever he issues her with what is tantamount to a set of orders that really puts her on a short fuse.

As though the very sight of her disgusts him. And he makes zero attempts at being remotely civil.

“Such a bas—Oh!”

Her exclamation is muffled by the fact her face is pressed into someone’s chest.

She rebounds, but before collapsing in a graceless heap on the floor, is caught by a pair of strong hands.

Blinking rapidly she focuses her gaze on a fine wool suit jacket, following the dark, elegant lines up and up and up.

Straight into an intense stare that is startlingly familiar.

“What are you doing here?” It’s a stupid question to ask a complete stranger, but in the five days since that night at the bar he’s been on her mind so much it feels natural.

His head jerks back a little, eyes narrowing, a bemused expression on his lean face. When he responds his voice is like clotted cream over rich, dark chocolate. “I work here.”

Oh. Fuck.

“Right.” She drops her gaze to the safety of his chest and perceives quite a number of things simultaneously . . .

One of her hands is pressed to the broad expanse, the other clutching her digital tablet and notepad like a shield.

He is still gripping her upper arms, which means their lower bodies are very much in contact.

She’s just recovering from the tingling shock of this realization when his scent hits her. Spicy-musk with a hint of citrus.

For a dizzying moment she wonders how he manages to smell so edible.

Oh. Fuck.

His grip tightens and she can feel his heartbeat under her fingertips. It’s pounding as though he’s been running, while his breath is coming in short pants.

Startled, she flicks a quick glance at his face. His soft, full lips are slightly parted.

As though ready for her mouth, her tongue.

And his eyes . . . the pupils are blown, making his honey-brown stare appear almost black. Before he drops his gaze to her lips.

He sways towards her.

One part of her brain is screaming at her . . . move away. This is inappropriate, you don’t even know his name!

The other part is absolutely on board with more contact, mainlining the sensations his touch is producing on the rest of her body like a crack addict. Lightning streaks are running along her veins from where his palms warm her bare arms. Butterflies are holding a rave in her stomach and the results of that party are starting to make themselves known further south . . .

Is—is she actually getting turned on standing in the middle of her workplace? Simply from the most innocuous touch?

The heat from his body is a palpable thing against the rest of her. And the briefest flash of hot, bare skin under her hand shoots through her mind. She wants to kiss each beauty mark on his face. There are lots dotting his pale skin. She wonders if there are more scattered over his body.

The distant noise of a door closing is like a gunshot in the charged silence.

And she realizes they’ve been standing there staring at each other for more than a handful of moments.

If anyone walked down the narrow corridor right now . . .

She drops her gaze and jerks back. He lets her go and she’s scrambling to find something to fill the suddenly awkward silence.

“So, you work here. Ah, which area?”

“I’m head of the security division.”

“We have a security division?” She’s briefly startled, but a split second later acknowledges she isn’t particularly surprised by the existence of such a thing. Hosnian Solutions is big on ensuring confidentiality, even secrecy. And she’s not shocked at his place at the head of said division. He has a palpably dangerous aura—hadn’t she thought so in the bar?

Big dick energy. This guy has it in spades.

“Yes, we do.”

Wut?

It’s a struggle to recall her last statement . . .

Oh.

She thrusts out her hand awkwardly, trying to inject some kind of professionalism into the encounter. “Well, um, I’m Rey, Mister Hux’s new secretary.”

His gaze flicks from her hand to her eyes and back before he engulfs it in his own.

“Yes, I know.”

* * *

Kylo watches the shock flit through her gaze, relishing it for a dark moment before he says, “Head of security, remember?”

Understanding dawns on her expressive face, with, is that the faint hint of disappointment?

In that brief moment of contact in the bar, has he made so much of an impression on her that she thinks he might have sought her out?

Uncertainty bites at what he thought was a long-healed wound.

He’s still holding her hand.

Her firm grip would feel incredible wrapped around his cock.

He releases the contact and steps back, away from the intoxicating scent of her, frangipani and jasmine, the touch of her skin, silky smooth.

He’s so hard he’s not certain his suit jacket is doing any sort of job of concealing his body’s response.

Suddenly he’s aware that he’s standing in a public hallway staring at this girl with a hardon which would be visible from the moon.

Anyone could walk past, including Hux, and suddenly he’s certain he wants Rey to keep this job.

Hux is enough of an asshole that if he senses Kylo is even remotely interested in Rey he’d fire her just for the satisfaction of getting under his skin.

Simply because Snoke considered him and not Armitage Hux as his apprentice. Hux was, as Snoke once put it, ‘a rabid cur.’ A useful one nonetheless, whose weakness was to be exploited with scant regard to the fallout for those around him.

“You had better get back to work.”

His words take a moment to sink in, her eyes widening at the implication she’s been lingering irresponsibly.

The flash of anger that sets the gold in the hazel depths of her gaze alight makes his erection twitch.

He needs to get away from her before he does something really stupid—like find out what she tastes like.

“Nice to meet you, Rey.” He moves past her, she doesn’t say anything. When he glances back her head is down, revealing the tender nape of her neck. After a moment she strides away in the opposite direction.

He realizes he didn’t tell her his name.

Using his access card he enters the surveillance room which had been his ultimate destination.

It’s empty, cctv monitors humming quietly. He locks the door and stumbles over to the bank of monitors.

Sure enough there’s Rey, settling behind her desk.

Just for a moment her skirt hikes a little high, revealing her slim thighs before she demurely adjusts it.

That’s enough.

He wrenches at the button and fly of his tailored slacks. A moment later his hot, rigid cock is in his hand, the head already weeping for the touch of Rey’s hand.

A gasp punches out of his chest.

He barely manages a couple of rough, uncoordinated strokes before his spine is tightening, his balls fucking aching.  

His desperate gaze lands on the wastebasket beside the desk and as he stares at the monitor he imagines her fingers sliding over his dick, stroking the head, her gold-flecked gaze darkening, pink lips parted, taking complete control over him.

Totally unafraid of him as she works his big body.

The monitor flicks to a different camera. This one captures her front on and for a moment, as though she senses his regard, her gaze darts up, seeming to catch his through the screen.

With a breathless, snarled grunt he slips over the edge, spending into the wastebasket.

He comes so hard he thinks he might lose consciousness.

In the cooling aftermath, as he’s trying to figure what to do about the scent of sex in the room, the wastebasket . . .

His fucking obsession.

He experiences a flash of burning anger.

This girl has been the cause of five nights of him waking up on the verge of coming, grinding a weeping, rock-hard erection against his black cotton sheets.

Jerking off has become not just a daily habit, it’s a necessity if he wants to get any sort of decent sleep. To be able to focus on his work.

He’s so close to his objective, he cannot lose sight of it for a mere slip of a girl. Not much longer and he’ll be able to achieve his goal and his uncle, Luke-fucking-Skywalker will no longer be an issue.

[nanyoky]

It has been a week and A HALF and it’s only wednesday i deserve so much food and the drama BETTER BE GOOD this week

of course chic’s not a blossom he’s a whatever-alice’s-maiden-name-is/jones we all know this please let the confrontation be messy with alice and fp PLEASE LORDS OF MELODRAMA

oh my god. as much as i prefer season 1 alice to season 2 alice, this reaction is great. so great. “who’s his dad? who knows! it’s a mystery! highschool was so long ago i don’t even remember everyone i dated! doesn’t matter! no one needs to know who i rode like a pornstar in the back of his pickup after the homecoming game senior year! and no one needs to know i still think about it all the time! especially when he’s talking all sarcastic with his rough hewn charm! It was one time and I definitely don’t have dreams about it ever, okay? IT’S IRRELEVANT BETTY”

oh no you guys i just thought of the fact that alice cooper likely knows where fp’s serpent tattoo is and i don’t and now i’m DISTRAUGHT

okay- like i love it when they remember people i love are friends, but why is kevin sitting in on this register interview?

....i don’t know who this dude is but kevin is excited so i’m excited for him

also why is hal talking like there’s an audience to this interview? i know i bitched about the bad season one dialogue but now it’s just WEIRD

oh noooo.... veronica actually kinda thought her mom let her invite a friend just to be nice and then had to come crashing down to manipulative reality

jughead’s back on his bullshit again *claps hands aggressively in his face* ACTUAL. AT. RISK. KIDS. SUPPORT. THAT. SCHOOL. BEING. SHUT. DOWN. STOP. TRYING. TO. HIJACK. THEIR. LIVES. SO. YOU. CAN. FEEL. MORALLY. SUPERIOR.

god i really want there to be a falling out between jughead and toni where she finally tells him off for acting all martyred when he has essentially been a serpent for a hot five minutes and sees it as a novelty that can excuse his selfish actions when the rest of them live the reality of needing a gang to survive poverty and violence and i want that scene to HURT a lot because we like jughead! we genuinely do! but he’s been such a prime fucking pill this season and he’s not going to learn and grow until he gets hurt a little bit as a direct result of the shit he’s been pulling

um so i was excited that ethel was back..... and then a characterization 180 for zero reason other than they needed someone to throw a milkshake????? why

okay that was dumb but josie’s reaction was great

like- i’m still waiting to figure out how veronica’s long con with her parents is going to shake out. they better give her a great season three subplot to make up for this messy crummy mob malarky

that was a SOLID punch

also YASSS let her snap- give us some indication she’s been holding back and biting her tongue this whole time and now she can’t take it anymore

lol leaning HARD into the crimson peak vibe with that “special tea.” they know what we want.

i. am. so. glad. jughead’s hunger strike is a joke to everyone.

but also lol: jughead: why are you being such a bastard, v? veronica: my parents don’t want me to do the thing but i’m going to do it anyway. jughead: you are my favorite friend and i’ve always supported you.

and he’s back into anti mode because betty is being softcore up for some beronica

and a hard cut to toni killing it for no reason other than that we all forgot the vixens were a thing- and toni is a swell dancer so we’re all glad to see it

THE POMPONS ON HER SNEAKERS??????

“inner circle vixens- you know who you are” PPPFFFTTT

“MANDATORY SLUMBER PARTY” GOD I MISSED YOU HBIC VIXEN CHERYL

“you were only at southside high for like- four days” thank you. and i know jughead is tying it all to growing up in the neighborhood but like- come on. jug. he’s right. you didn’t hang out with toni and sweetpea and fangs and joaquin growing up. you hung out with archie and betty and kevin. you should not be speaking for the former just because you shared a zipcode in the part of your life you won’t even remember as an adult. and if you miss your mom and jellybean so much like- call them?! why are they not brought up more often?!?!?!?!!?!?!?! when am i going to finally see neeve campbell claim her right by combat to divorce skeet ulrich in dramatic fashion when she finds out about his lovechild?????????? she killed him twice in the nineties SHE’S EARNED THIS

HOMO EROTIC BRAID TRAIN

what is cheryl wearing is that a dress? a slip? a nightgown? I DON’T CARE I WANT IT ON MY BODY

also HOLY SHIT DOES SHE HAVE HER “BURN IT TO THE GROUND” DRESS ON DISPLAY ON A DRESSFORM GOD LOVE THAT WOMAN

“wait- is this real or a game?” i stand by the headcanon that not only did joaquin tell the gang about “this is riveting-” but secrets and sins and the whole night so toni like- has tangential second hand knowledge of season 1 cheryl’s bullshit and is trying to reconcile that with the vulnerable but emotionally stunted hottie she’s learned to love

god i’m still FURIOUS that we will never see teen serpents all together i would kill for a flashback of them all hanging out on the night of jughead’s birthday and joaquin bursts through the door at 2am like “I JUST HAD THE WEIRDEST FUCKING NIGHT OF MY LIFE INCLUDING THAT TIME I STUFFED A BODY IN A FREEZER LET ME TELL YOU *EVERYTHING*”

also i just realized toni has primarily male friends so her confusion might be partially due to the fact she’s NEVER BEEN TO A SLEEPOVER?!?!?! she’s just sitting there like “oh shit- ‘i don’t feel safe in my home’ is this a game??? i haven’t seen this in any teen flicks how do you play??? are their pillow fights involved?????”

SHE JUST CALLED HER TT. LIKE JJ. as a messy bitch who loves questionable things in her suburban gothics: FUCK. YES.

there is.... something both HILARIOUSLY implausible, but also HILARIOUSLY realistic about this. “i invited you all here because i fear for my life in my own home.” “omg same let me tell you MY family drama.” sleepovers just be like that.

they just turn in after thiss???? okay THAT i don’t believe. sleepovers are the time for plotting convoluted and dangerous plans to solve your life problems, not vent for 30 seconds and then go to bed

THEY MADE EVERYONE ELSE SLEEP ON THE FLOOR BUT CHERONI IS BATHED IN SEXY RED MOOD LIGHTING I’M CACKLING

i’m trying to picture cheryl announcing the sleeping arrangements and i can’t stop laughing. “as the newest vixen, toni will have the privilege of a mattress. not alone of course. i AM the hostess after all. there is plenty of room.” toni: oh that’s so nice and not weird or suspicious of you cheryl i would love to bone- i mean sleep on the same bed three feet apart from you. everyone else: we’re still here stop being nasty.

cheryl and toni are meant to be because they both don’t remove their makeup before bed like some kind of goblins with naturally perfect skin no matter what hell they put it through

BLOSSOMS! BACK AT IT! THERE’S MY FAM! BRINGIN HOME THE GOLD WITH ATTEMPTED MURDER AND SOME CLAUDIUS/GERTRUDE- I MEAN PENELOPE ACTION

((i can’t tell if this episode is actually better or if i’m just in a better mood tonight. don’t care. having fun.))

molly ringwald!!!! missed you boo

.....who is that boy veronica just snubbed on his cupcake and kiss i only saw the back of his head but i know my TYPE when i see it

“right now i’m only interested in one girl, you.” ethel shifts uncomfortably because no one could resist that gay shit right there no matter how hard we may try

also tho- for the record, i’m with ethel, sexualizing your student body president campaign is tacky and archaic af

oh my god jughead you look like a freshman delivering his first speech at the regional finals

also lol they got like Other Serpents to fill in the club so that it’s not just the snakey core four

AND HE’S BACK USING THE TRIBE FOR HIS OWN NARRATIVE GODDAMMIT JUGHEAD YOU’RE MAKING IT SO HARD TO LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW

KEVIN THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THIS NONSENSE I THOUGHT YOU AND I AGREED YOU WORK ON JUST BEING YOU FOR AWHILE AND THEN IF JOQUIN COMES BACK THEN YOU HAVE A LOVE INTEREST?!

oh kev i can’t stay mad at you not when you can’t keep a secret to save your goddamn life. sweet bean. precious pea. too good for this world.

oh i like this. i like betty getting FEROCIOUSLY protective of kevin- even though i’m not even entirely sure chic is as dodgy as they’re trying to make us think

ahhh there she is josie- my ambitious girl.

oh my gooooooddddddddddd. serpents why are you listening to jughead- with that edit away from the scene i thought they were gunna let him have it. why do they suddenly think he’s right????? THEY HATED THAT SCHOOL! THEY WERE HAPPY TO GO TO RHS! THIS IS CANON AND IN THE DIALOGUE! I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS SEASON!

WUT THE FUCK BETTY. i kinda love it tho

oh lordy- heavy handed girl power political twisting- COMPLETE WITH SONG

i mean- i know that ethel has always been a very minor side character, but i’m still disappointed they’re using her for this plot when the last we saw of her in season one was her being very mature and understanding that veronica does not control her parents actions and now she’s the exact opposite with like- no new personal story to back this change up. you either get put on a bus at the end of season one or you stick around long enough to be handed a sloppily put together new personality that no one wants.

JOSIE?! honestly i know i keep saying it but this is so messy what even is this show anymore

((sorry i’m whining again- i really liked the sleepover bring that bit back))

that was a well done breakdown from mendes good job girl that built really nice

also was that a spark of season one hermione i saw???? please?????

“she wears it when she has sex with jughead” oh my. oh dearie me. this is. goodness.

betty you fell into one of the classic blunders- never admit anything you’re accused of until they have proof lol even chic is surprised that worked

alice needs a system reboot at the thought of jughead and betty boning for various reasons- not least of all the generational echo of her life

JUGHEAD AND FP SCENE. these are the only times this season that remind me of my love for that skinny little twerp. their interactions remain golden and heartbreaking and i love themboth to bits.

boys- wake up and smell the custody papers. jellybean aint comin back. good or bad idea. also jug- you’re sixteen? two years you’ll be out of here on a scholarship anyway- stop acting like people don’t move out of small towns anymore

OH GOD THEY’RE GENTLE SNUGGLING HLEP ME just bury me in scenes of these boys bonding over their pigheaded natures

like this annoys me that they’re couching this in archie drinking hiram’s koolaid because “i don’t think jughead’s fighting FOR anything.” is the smartest thing archie’s said all season

archie deserved that now go after jughead, molly ringwald i trust you to dress anyone and everyone down as you see fit

“i’m.... very well acquainted with how alluring the jones men are” yes.... yeeesssss..... yaassssss YASSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“woah- wait-” keep up betty we all knew this from alice and fp’s first interaction in season one

there she goes- puttin it together. “absolutely not” my lumpy ass

“don’t forget what he did.” “i will never forget” ......i’mma confess i honestly forgot about the murder that’s how fucking messy this season has been.

jesus christ this mutual blackmailing but also gaslighting between chic and betty is just nightmarishly stressful 

YASS BACK ON CHERYL BEING THE TRADITIONAL GOTHIC HEROINE OF EVERY MOOR-SET PAPERBACK EVER PRINTED i missed this. i missed the trational gothic heroine trapped in an american/suburban gothic.

*sigh* i’ve spent all season holding out hope- giving varchie the benefit of the doubt that they were both playing close to the chest and pulling long cons on mama and papa lodge, but i don’t know. i think it’s just bad writing now.

yeah hiram like anyone would ever believe that the bulldogs would go to disband a protest of their peers with wire cutters completely of their own volition. NO ONE is going to think the developer who is essentially the only one with a personal stake in the demolition of the school might have twisted their arms. solid plan. no one will suspect you’re pulling the strings of these teens.

god they’re making this so dramatic but i hate this plotline and the lack of consistency with the serpents plot so it’s just laughable

omg omg- can we just forget the unfortunateness of this episode’s plot for jughead and instead get fucking PUMPED to see him try to get votes for student council i am READY FOR THIS TRAINWRECK

lol- if this was anyone but jughead i’d be laughing at him agreeing that she stay in the trailer without consulting- you know- the adult who owns the trailer and is his legal guardian, but this is fp we’re talking about he’s gunna be so stoked. he’s gunna buy like all new pillows and sheets and curtains and like a “welcome home” teddybear and stock the fridge full of healthy things he imagines people like betty eat. like smoothies. fp needs all the strawberry smoothies as jughead’s dowery to seal the deal

MORE MOLLY RINGWALD?! YAYYYY!!!

HOLY SHIT???? i mean- i was all for cheryl being the typical gothic heroine trapped away and called mad once she wised up to her shady family but this is... hmmm. wow. that’s..... a lot. nto sure how i feel about it.

[thessalian]

Watcher!Mych vs God-Corpse

Maia: *spots incoming Watcher and friends stomping towards the ship* Okay, where the hell have you people been?!? We--

Watcher!Mych and friends: *liberally splattered with gore and unidentifiable fluids, Eder and Xoti supporting Aloth and Serafen respectively*

Maia: ...whoa okay never mind I’m not sure I want to know.

Watcher!Mych: Wael. Corpse.

Maia: ...wait wut.

Aloth: Apparently down in the depths of the Forbidden Sanctum where all the really good books are--

Watcher!Mych: And I am not carrying these fuckers anymore! Shell out for a shipboard library or something, okay? This is breaking my back.

Aloth: --erm ... well. The whole thing was built on the corpse of Wael. And some of it ... erm ... in. The corpse. Of Wael.

Serafen: Weren’t so corpse-like for awhile there, lad.

Maia: So ... wait. You were travelling ... inside ... the body of a god.

Watcher!Mych: They’re not gods; they are ascended weirdos. In this case, one with a body horror fetish.

Maia: So ... what happened, exactly?

Watcher!Mych: We did a lot of reading and taught a vithrak how to find a fucking loophole and then dove into the tentacular horror-corpse and stomped around in there for awhile to give it a massive case of indigestion so we could keep going, after which we killed a giant eyeball with smaller laser eyeballs and a whole lot of other shit - in some cases literally - and I snarked at Wael for awhile and got him to shut the damn body down and then we came back without listening to either of the weirdos who wanted to do things to Wael’s body.

Maia: ...Define ‘things’.

Watcher!Mych: No.

Maia: ...Alright then.

Eder: We brought home pets too.

Tekehu: *panicked screaming*

Maia: What ... kind of pets?

Watcher!Mych: Tiny tentacled eyeball and glowy-ass spider from Vithrak-Ville.

Maia: You are building enclosures for those things, Captain.

Watcher!Mych: Yeah, yeah, yeah. First we’re getting our medic to have a look at Serafen and Aloth because divine peeling-off-floor still leaves a mark, and then we’re going to the Wild Mare because I really, really need a hot bath.

Maia: And ... then?

Watcher!Mych: And then we hunt up Eothas properly because nothing he could possibly do to us could be as bad as what the last godly asshole put us through.

Maia: Right. Erm ... Captain?

Watcher!Mych: What?!?

Maia: ...Thanks for not bringing me along on that one?

Tekehu: Seconded!

Watcher!Mych: Oh, hey, Fassina. Here. *lobs bits of paper and clothing items at Fassina* Messages from Arkemyr, and some shinies I found you down there.

Fassina: ...Miserable old goat actually cares?

Watcher!Mych: Fuck if I know. Wanna come when we give him what’s her height’s notes?

Fassina: Fuck, no.

Watcher!Mych: That’s my girl.