#but I’m itchy to do things
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I’ve really got like a shit load of stuff going on in 2023 huh. 2023 is going to be a walter evolution of sort
#Walt talks#rambling in the tags#there’s the whole building Jevil in 2 months thing#the whole getting my permit thing#the whole grinding at art thing#the whole refurbishing and gutting my room from head to toe thing#the whole starting a cos project that’s going to take me at LEAST 8 months to complete and is possibly a competition piece#the whole studying for my GED thing#the whole attempting to slowly get started with commissions by the beginning of 2024 thing#the whole renaissance faire thing#the whole turning 20 thing#LIKE BYE THERES SO MUCH HAPPENING#but I’m not stressed too bad? I think it’s just like. since I’m in a stable environment and my brain is catching footing I’m ready to slowly#climb#back up to my peers#slowly#I don’t want to give myself burnout part 2 electric boogaloo#but I’m itchy to do things#I’m starting to get restless (which is a really good thing for me as an individual because I’ve had 0 motivation to even live the past like#8 years of my life)#(so it’s a super duper good thing that I feel as though I genuinely want to accomplish things#and I’m not being restless out of guilt but rather because I just want to do something)
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I feel like there’s hands trapped in my chest clawing to get out but that’s okay! We stay silly!
#sorry to scream but I have got to just yell for a minute#idk what the hell happened to me but it started a few months ago#every time I’m alone with my thoughts it’s just there. something and it’s itchy!!! metaphorically yknow but#my soul is itchy babes this is concerning#not very concerning I’m pretty certain it has to do with me finally realizing oh maybe I ain’t cis#but I DONT FUCKIN LIKE IT#I know what’s gonna happen. whatever this is it’s gonna gnaw at me for a couple years and then it’ll just hit me like a truck and I’ll be#Changed for the better or worse#same thing happened when I wrestled with the sexuality but it’s so stupid#body stop it. chest stop it. hands!!!! stop scratching and trying to crack me chest open please#I’d like to deal with this Not Right Now I have other real issues that are more pressing#wish I could just open my chest up and grab the lil fucker that’s in there causing a ruckus and squeeze him until his head pops#anyways sorry this is stupid and very venty from me in a way I don’t usually do it#btw I do want to stress I am generally doing great overall! just tired (always haha)#but workouts have been awesome and I’m happy with my progress and I’m workin and doin well#but this has just been driving me crazy lately#lynx talks#sorryyyyy abt all that#anyway
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Cat Fever has gotten worse and worse. By which I mean I want a cat so bad but my current living situation probably will not support one for at least another year or two. Plus I’m allergic to cat spit and I looked it up and some sites were like it’s totally manageable and you can get acclimated to it and then others were like lol you can’t do shit about it just don’t get a cat ever. And I’m like :(. Why is the world so cruel. I want a cat friend. I dreamt of getting a cat last night. Chat what do I do
#fundamentally weird problem to have like. I’m whining about something that is not an issue#but I love cats. there has not been a single interaction I have had with a cat where I wasn’t#1. completely in love with said cat and#2. itchy eyes stuffy nose all around miserable#astro speaks#but yeah I’m completely aware I’m whining about it. car is not necessary and all things considered I’m doing pretty well#but. no cat?????? never??????????? 🥺
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😇
#lmaoooo#so I just got home from hanging out with a friend#and I decided to try on some lingerie#just for fun 😇#and I noticed a set that (I think?) was the first set I ever bought#and I don’t think I’ve ever tried it on?#I might have tried it on but definitely haven’t taken pictures in it#there’s a lot of things I bought that I was going to do/use before I moved but didn’t :(((#anyway#and it’s a cute set with roses on it#(bought it cause rosicheeks get it 🌹🥰)#so I tried it on and I’m like ooo might as well take some pics even tho I don’t look all dolled up but it’s still a cute set#GUYS#idk how to take pictures anymore!!!!#I used to have a whole system when I was at my old place#had my tripod so I could set my phone at whatever angle I wanted#now I’m like#?????#how#to#do this#took a few and there ehhhhh#this is super itchy tho#someone needs to rip it off of me asap#shut up rosie
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I am so tired of getting mosquito bites INSIDE!!!! how and why does this keep happening!!!!
#🥞🧇#I’ve literally gotten 3 in the last 24 hrs 🥲#we don’t keep anything open so idk how they are getting in!!!#I also have an allergy to them so not only am I a magnet my bites swell up really big and are SUPREMELY itchy and also blister#the bug bite thing doesn’t help either I literally dk what to do :(#they have those like plug in traps so maybe one of those will help??? but i get bit all over the house not just one room 😭😭#I’m literally waking up in the middle of the night bc I’m so itchy I cannot deal w this 😭😭
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first alarm goes off in four hours,,, tattoo itchiness keeping me up </3
#corey talks:)#i love my tattoo i do#but i hate the healing itchiness#and i’ve already given in and scratched a couple wHICH IS BAD I KNOWWWW#it’s also like. especially hard not to scratch with ts like. it’s less of an oh i’d like to scratch and more of a bad things will happen if#i don’t scratch grrrrrr#but i’m trying SO HARD#this is also my biggest tattoo yet and my first in two years so i forgot how bad the itching was but also hadn’t experienced it yet :(
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genuinely how do you not end up killing yourself? or at least harming yourself in some way? 8 years clean and the urge to self harm is so fucking strong that i can’t find any reason not to anymore
#thing that holds me back is the itchiness i guess? idk#the only constant thing in my life has been the urge to die#honestly i have been harming myself in these years but it’s not the way im used to i guess? it’s not cutting myself or drawing blood#so i never considered it self harm#but i genuinely can’t find reason not to do it. i’m mutilated as is what’s a few more scars?#i definitely need to go back into therapy but for now i will suffer on my own#self harm tw#depression tw#suicide mention#suicide tw#personal#cashew talks
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Afflicted with Thoughts (character who’s forced themself to be rough and callous looking at someone they care for so much deeper than they’d be willing to admit and. Wanting. Craving their touch. A hand held, or a brush of the elbow, anything. They’d burn the world for a hug if that’s what it took. But. That would mean admitting to that soft, wounded thing under all the shrapnel and metal. So they just. Sit. And look. And hope so desperately that the other would be inspired to initiate something.)
#I’m also very itchy but dw abt that it’s from when I toastied too close to the sun. Icarus and whatnot#anyways. mev 🤝 dari 🤝 bladed 🤝 marrow. self inflicted touch starvation on accident. and they’re too stubborn to realize it#at least geryon. for all the bastard he’s. was like yea I’ll go for some human contact <3 I’m gonna use it to manipulate the hell out of em#later but still <3#I’d. would include peipre in the handshakes. but um. hers is less a ‘i can’t be vulnerable’ thing and more a ‘convinced herself she’s too#much if she doesn’t filter herself through a sieve first’ and um. swats her with newspaper for it#kit suffers from that too but he’s. bad at keeping her thoughts inside once she gets going. wind up toy of. once u get them talking he’s jus#goin till it runs out of words lol#that’s. how most of the gushing to laambe happens. start rambly abt something while doing smth else and not paying attention to the words an#somewhere down the line goes. um. oh. that was a lot sorry#anyways. the sleepies being with them. tough characters Yearning
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The thing is I’ve read through every Keefe x Kelvin fic on ao3 and part of me wants to try my hand at writing something for them and then I remember that I’m a yankee who was raised catholic with Irish roots strongly opposing anything related to Protestantism, I’m simply not confident in my ability to write southern evangelists
#the prospect of having to do any sort of research into that side of Christian makes me itchy#on the other hand this show is so unserious like would I even need to?#like I could v well get away with only including what’s only in the show#to be clear I’m not a devote catholic or anything but it’s what I know in terms of Christianity things#me shit
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Learning Spanish and French atm has taught me I really like words that come out nicely. Like Spanish I’m having a lot more fun with even if I’m still pretty bad purely bc I like the words more while French is harder for me to get attached to
#anyways I love the word huevo and soy#idk they both just make my brain itchy in a good way#tho I do specifically like cheval in french it’s just a good word for horse#going to bed time now :]#they both I guess have more seamless words then English does#esp the English where I’m from in Florida where it’s very blunt and harsh if that makes sense#but Spanish has easy to grasp shorter words for most things as well as sound that are nice to say#the main thing I’m having issue with is deferentiating certain words and ‘Ella’ since amerabrain reads it like the name immediately#bebos and bebe both keep getting me I need to practice more#ruse rambles#dang I really rambled sorry lol I just like learning languages a lot#and it’s kinda fun to contrast them
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When the palm of your hand itches and the only way you can properly itch it is by biting it
#reblog if you agree#I swear other people do this I’m not crazy#it’s gotta be some weird thing leftover from evolution right#sometimes you just gotta chew on your hand to stop the itchiness
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I knew today was gonna be a shit day when I realized I didn’t have any clean boxers left
#the underwear I’m wearing rn is so uncomfortable#it all went downhill from there#my train was late#it was cold af#my beanie is too itchy#then I worked all day on the same sample I’ve been working on since Monday#normally it takes me less than a day to do one two days max for a big one#and the worms I had to identify today were all from the same family and you can only tell the species apart with a microscope#with which I can only do about four worms at a time#and usually when you have a lot of worms that look similar its only two or three species#and its only a few worms that are different#but the new species just kept coming#then when I had to put all the animals on alcohol#I dropped one of the dishes on myself#so my pants got all wet#and now I’m finally on my way home an hour late#waiting for the next thing to go wrong#and also I’m so so tired bc emy kept jumping on my bed last night and I slept like shit
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i am soooo sick of oral allergy syndrome i want to eat my fruits and veggies…..
#eating some cooked frozen carrots and im like god i wish i could eat raw carrots#i wish i could drink carrot juice lmao. i love carrots so much#and i CAN it just makes me itchy#some things make my mouth sting but idk what foods do that as part of OAS and what i’m having other reactions to#but apples and carrots make me itchy#yes i can eat them cooked but it is NOT the same. i want to bite into a fresh juicy apple 😭#nectarines are the worst for how itchy they make me compared to how much i love them (a lot ok both counts)#ANYTHING citrusy makes my mouth sting like hell idk#or anything acidic i suppose#which is ‘normal’ to an extent but i can get sores on my tongue from a couple pieces of a clementine#or a tomato#pineapple as well which sucks bc it’s my FAVORITE#banana makes my mouth sting i think but i can’t deduce if it’s related to my other allergies#anyway. this post brought to you by me daydreaming about how delicious carrot juice must be#r.txt
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Girl help my period arrived 2 days early and I need to grocery shop
#fuck thiiiiiiis genuinely#my meal kit box is arriving today but i don’t have bread or snacks and i’m also running out of dips and condiments#i also have no shower gel but that’s fine because i do have a shower jelly from lush that i can use#the only thing about it is that it looks like an embryo and i’m feeling a little squeamish#the co-op isn’t exactly known for having a good selection of toiletries so if they only have that nivea one that makes me itchy#i’m just going to get a bar soap#i’m NOT taking the bus into town and going to tesco. i’m just not. i can’t handle tesco on a day like this#i’m not even sure if i can handle co-op. i’ve taken 2 ibuprofen and i have a hot water bottle on me as i speak#but shit is severe#i don’t think it’s helping that i did way too much at pilates yesterday. i decided why not do the hardest variant of the hundred#and the hardest variant of reverse curls. well NOW I KNOW WHY#shit is bad. i can feel my sternum#look i’m gonna live. chicken tacos tonight and i still have exactly two edibles and hopefully the co-op will have ice cream#personal
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How do you let someone know you love them and are still there for them when they ghosted for their own reasons and you aren’t ignoring them out of spite, you’re just respecting the boundary because it seemed like bad form to keep attempting contact? Asking for a… uh, me
#this is a rhetorical question#I figure the thing to do is just mind my own business#but sometimes I get mentally itchy and want to say hello and ask how they’re doing#but I don’t want to accidentally hurt someone if talking to them will upset the balance they’ve built for themselves?#I just hope I’m not interpreted as vindictive or bitter#I’m just very good at boundaries!#I kind of hate that for me sometimes! because people think I don’t care when I really do!
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#girl i want to believe my acne medication is working bc on some level I think it is ????#however the occasional rlly awful pimples I still get hurt sooo badly . and are like Itchy. The Itch is so so bad.#i think generally it’s a bit better but it’s still not great. the overall redness has decreased at least.#but there’s still a lot going on :( and it’s out of my control on some level but it stresses me out#and then my mom is like i think it’s time to go on accutane like it is a casual thing. like no ???? I’m not doing that girl#that’s WAY too intense imo it’s not that bad. like this sucks but also whatever you know (<— guy who is stressed abt their skin)#I also despite that complete change in periods it’s kind of nice now. I’ll take more frequent ones if it like. Halves my symptoms.#and also yeah who would have thought hormones off balance would make my mood more stable !!! been doing better too :’)#sorry this is just brought on by this very painful pimple i have rn and me spiraling a bit#anyway.#lee’s bullshit
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