#this is also my biggest tattoo yet and my first in two years so i forgot how bad the itching was but also hadn’t experienced it yet :(

[that-was-anticlimactic]

first alarm goes off in four hours,,, tattoo itchiness keeping me up </3

[elliespillowprincess]

SHES MY DRUG

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pt 1

pt 2

pt 3

a/n: this is my first ever (kinda) fic so it kinda sucks and is all over the place.. also this one will be a bit longer than the others! i hope to just make this an ongoing series with no real end? idk yet!!! it’s kinda all over the place

c/w: TIME SKIP??, modern au, reader is in med school, biker!ellie!!, rich!ellie… kinda toxic!ellie? angst, addiction, substance abuse, joel’s death makes an appearance, fluff, fem reader, plus size reader, insecure reader, race of reader not specified, smut, strap-on usage (r!receiving), cum eating, spit?, tribbing, fingering (r!receiving), breeding kink, TERRIBLY WRITTEN, not proofread

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT SUPPORT NEIL DRUCKMANN

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ELLIE WILLIAMS

her name is everywhere now. after leaving your town, her music had blown up more than ever before. 2 years had gone by since the two of you shared your last kiss, and for the first few months the two of you texted constantly.

ellie🤭: how’s my pretty girl?

ellie🤭: hoping to come back soon

tours been getting crazy

ellie🤭:

missing you

it felt like a dream, texting one of the worlds biggest rockstars while she was on tour, her sending photos of her adventures. but all dreams end in you waking up.

you: hey wyd?

you: hoping you’re coming back soon

you: hey ellie?

we haven’t talked in a bit

i miss you.

the dream ended. just like that, you were just another girl. after waiting for replies, you decided to move on. this fantasy wasn’t real, the dream was over. ellie was now famous for hooking up with her fans, videos popping up constantly of her leading them out of her concert and onto her bike, just like she did to you.

you were just another girl.

you graduated university as the top scholar in your small town, liliana just behind you. both of you applied to a med school in new york, both getting accepted. your best friend kept telling you you’ll forget her, but how could you? she was everywhere.

eventually, there were some days you could go by without thinking of her. you decided to quit drinking and smoking, and focus on schooling. you got your pleasure elsewhere; hooking up with whatever girl swiped right on you on tinder that day. they always looked a little like her. if they didn’t have that auburn hair, they had tattoos, if they didn’t have tattoos, they were a musician, etc.

“hey, y/n?” you hear a familiar voice say. “wanna go out tonight? i feel like we haven’t gotten to hangout in ages. you don’t have to drink or anything, promise!” liliana practically begs you. it was true, the two of you hardly had any time outside of schooling to hangout, so hesitantly, you agree. she tells you all about this new club that opened, how its invite only so there won’t be too many people, and how there’s surprise private performers. she got the invite from her boyfriend, and was allowed to bring one extra person: you. you decide to use the rest of your day off prior to your later plans to take an everything shower, shaving and exfoliating your whole body. when you get out, you go to your closet to pick out something to wear, still in your towel. your new wardrobe consisted of mainly business casual clothes and scrubs for lab days, so you push them away and dig through the back of your closet. you go through the pile of clothing, until you hit something hard. you grab it, pulling it into the light. when you realize what it was, you feel lightheaded.

it’s her helmet.

tossing it to the back with a pit in your stomach, you grab three random items of clothing, shutting the door. it was exactly what you wore when you first met her: a lacy cami, short black skirt, and a leather jacket. you threw the outfit on, hoping to cover up the old memories with new ones. after you touched up your makeup, you, andrew, and liliana started pregaming. you didn’t want to overdo it, but you also wanted a small buzz for this intimidating of a club. your plan was to leave around 9, it was 8:47. “i’m actually excited, i haven’t been this excited for an event in a while!” you say to the group, feeling a buzz. the three of you are laughing and talking until you get a notification, indicating the uber was there. driving to the club, the driver put on the radio. of course, it had to be her.

the loud music and sweaty atmosphere of the club made you feel dizzy. the only thing keeping you from running away was a tall girl eyeing you across the room. she had short, dark hair, freckles, and a sour face as she looked at you like prey: your type. after a while, you notice she comes up to you, asking if you want anything to drink. agreeing, you thank her and start talking. “where y’from angel?” she asks. “nowhere near here, i used to live in a small town, goldwhit grove?” she looks at you like you’re crazy, rolling her eyes. “never heard of it. hey wanna get outta here?” you look over to your friends, liliana dancing against andrew, and remember how mad she was last time you ran off with a girl without telling her. “i don’t know i’m here with my frie-“ your sentence was interrupted but the screams of the drunken club goers around you as they all flock to the front. looking over to the stage, you see who they’re going crazy over. and of course,

it’s her.

she was everywhere, it was like you couldn’t escape and forget her no matter how hard you tried. she’s stumbling all over the stage, and slurring her words. bras were being thrown at her, and she just had this stupid look on her face. like she was loving it. she was looking around the crowd, for what you assumed to be a girl to take back to her hotel, she made eye contact with you. it felt like the whole room went quiet, even though it was far from it. you wanted to scream, call her an ass, throw drinks at her. but found another solution. turning to the girl next to you, you began rubbing against her, feeling her biceps as she wrapped her arms around you, kissing your neck. you did all of this while making eye contact with her.

“i.. i um… sorry guys.. can’t-can’t perform t’night.” she says, rushing offstage. this makes you smile, knowing you got under her skin. you continued to dance against the stranger to whatever shitty music the club put on between performers. then, it felt like the world went back into focus, your phone buzzing in your hand waking you up. “hey hold on, gotta take this.” you say, lightly pushing the girl off of you and pulling out your phone.

???: what the fuck is wrong with you

who is that???

answer me y/n i’m not fucking around

the unfamiliar messages creeped you out, so you simply blocked the number and went back to the girl, making small conversation. then, another one.

???: don’t block me

can we talk??

come to the bathrooms

rolling your eyes, you type a response.

you: idk who you are but leave me alone

it’s weird

are u stalking me??

another.

???: please

abiding by this stranger could put you in a life or death situation, but all of the adrenaline from seeing ellie and the alcohol made you lose your senses. “hey, i’ll be right back. gotta use the bathroom.” you tell the stranger, making your way through the crowds into the shitty club bathrooms. as you approach it, it seems oddly quiet for a club bathroom. you walk in, and instantly feel a hand grab your wrist, pulling you in and locking the door. “hey what the fu-“

then you see who it is.

confusion turns to shock, shock turns to anger.

“what the fuck ellie? you really think you can just ditch me for 2 fucking years and just be like ‘surprise! i’m back!’” you yell at her, pushing her away. “i’m not playing your fucking games, i feel dumb for even thinking we had something! had me waiting months for you to reply just for you to get with any groupie you come across?” she’s not saying anything, and it only makes your blood boil even more. “are you just gonna fucking sit there? i’m trying to have a good night! i caught fucking feelings for you, you made me feel like i was worth actually fucking loving, and you just threw it all away!” she just sits there, letting you yell. “fucking say something!” your voice becoming weaker, trying not to cry. looking into her eyes, you can tell she’s on something. they’re red and blown out, she reeks of alcohol and weed.

“you’re wearing the outfit.” she says flatly, looking at your outfit. you laugh, actually laugh at her. the fact you just spilt your heart out and all she can do it’s compliment your physical traits. “oh.. oh my god. you- you got problems ellie.” you say with a huff, pushing her away and heading for the door. “i’m leaving, and i’m gonna go back to a girl that maybe actually gives two fucks about me, unlike you.” reaching for the handle, you feel her grab your waist and pull you to her back. “please, don’t go.” you sigh against her, starting to tear up. “let-lemme go ellie..” you barely try to fight her grip. she doesn’t do anything, just breathes you in. “don’t… don’t go, please.” she says softy against your neck, her voice cracking. it feels like you’re melting.

turning around, you look directly at her. “i want an explanation.” you say, wiping tears from your eyes. “you told me you’d come back, you told me you missed me. where did that all go?” you look at her with doe, tear-filled eyes. she just wraps her hands around your face and admires you. “it.. didn’t go anywhere. jus’ a lot happened okay? i just need you to believe me.” your faces are mere inches away, and she’s staring at you with pleading eyes. “how can i believe you ellie? you’re not even sober.” she just wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you in and hugging you.

then you start to hear crying- no, sobbing. she sobs into your shoulder, trying to speak but unable to get words out. she casts her spell on you once again, drawing you in and making you hug her back. “just… just tell me what happened okay?” she’s barely breathing, and you rub her back in an attempt to calm her down. “he- he died!! he fucking died!” she says between cries. “who? who died ellie?” you say softy into her ear. “joel! he- he took care of me i- i- was so mean to him!” she cries against you. “hey, hey it’s okay ellie, just breathe.” after a few minutes of her crying, she starts to breathe slower, eventually pulling back and wiping your face. “can.. can we go somewhere else please?”

it was like déjà vu, being back on ellie’s bike. you had her other helmet at your apartment, so she gave you hers instead. you were honestly scared, she looked intoxicated, but she assured you she was fine to drive. speeding through the streets of new york, you arrive at ellie’s penthouse, of course. the walk into the building in the ride up the elevator is quiet, the only noise coming from ellie sniffling.

unlocking the door on the top floor, she lets you in. the place was trash. liquor bottles, pill bottles, baggies with unknown substances, different girls clothes. you were a little disgusted, but ellie ushered you to her room, which was much cleaner in contrast. you hesitate to sit down, thinking about how many girls fucked her on that bed. “no girls have been in my bed, promise.” you hear her voice say, sitting down.

the two of you just sit there, waiting for the other to speak. she finally gets the nerves to, and starts off. “i just wanna say i’m sorry, y/n. you didn’t deserve any of this.” she looks over at you with hooded eyes and continues. “when he… died, i didn’t know what to do- it was when i was in london.” that was around the time she stopped texting. “i just.. turned to a lot of stuff for comfort. i didn’t know what to do- i know it’s not an excuse..” she stares at you, waiting for a response. “thought about you every fucking day. honestly.” your heart starts to melt. “i don’t expect you to forgive me, but let me make it up to you okay?” you nod silently. this doesn’t feel real. “please say something..” she begs. your eyes meet hers and you just word dump everything that’s been clouding your mind for the past two years.

“look, ellie, i understand where you’re coming from. i just.. i need you to know how much it hurt me, seeing you get with all those other girls, it made me feel ugly. inside and out.” her gaze softens and she unexpectedly pulls you in for a hug. “fuck. i’m so fucking sorry, y/n. you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever fucking seen.” she says, her head buried into your shoulder. “everytime i was with any of those girls, i thought about you. anytime i was anywhere doing anything, i thought about you.” her words contrast her actions, but her soft words and tears make you start to believe her.

you hug her back, the two of you laying down in her bed. it all feels so wrong, but so right, she was like an addiction; she was horrible for you but you just kept going back. she softly rubbed your hair, causing your eyes to feel heavier and heavier until you fall asleep in her arms.

fuck.

you wake up, and the first thing you see is ellie. she’s awake already. she smiles at you, a genuine smile. you on the other hand, look horrified. “goodmorning.” she says, pushing your hair out of your face. “how’d you sleep?” you’re lost for words at this point. you start to remember why you don’t drink anymore. “i.. um.. i gotta use the bathroom.” you mutter before getting up, grabbing your phone from her bedside table, and locking yourself in the bathroom. you open your phone.

lili🦄: wya?

you slipped off again

where’d u go?

hello?

dude don’t do this again

ur freaking me out.

is that u that i just saw leave?

i’m following u

who is that?

where are you going??

dude answer hello??

you reply with a spew of apologies, telling her you’re safe and you’ll be home soon. “y/n?” you hear ellie shout from another room. “i made breakfast!” what the fuck? it was like she was a different person, like nothing that happened in the past actually happened and the two of you were a happy couple. you unlock the bathroom door, creeping into the living room. your jaw dropped, it was spotless.

“wow! you uh.. really cleaned up the space?” she smiles at you, plating what looks like eggs, bacon, and toast. “couldn’t sleep. i know you usually wake up early so i slipped out of bed last night and made it back before you woke up.” she waves you over to the table. “come, eat.” you tiptoe to the table, still in your clothes from the club the night prior. sitting down, ellie sets your plate down, along with some water before sitting herself down across from her. it’s quiet, uncomfortable. she decides to break the silence before you start eating. “i’m done with the pills, y/n.” she says bluntly. it kind of takes you by surprise, not the fact that she’s doing it, but the fact she announced it so bluntly. “gonna better myself. better myself for you, us.” she says. her words almost feel like knives to your heart, why was she changing all of this now? “i know it’s late, but i want to be better.” you put a piece of bacon in your mouth, swallowing before speaking. “i’m glad, ellie.” you say softly. the meal remains quiet, but its shifts from an uncomfortable to a comfortable silence.

“hey, i have to go home, can you text me please? for real this time.” you say half heartedly. she puts your dishes away in the sink, nodding. “i’ll take you home, don’t want you in those ubers, they’re not safe.”

the next few months consisted of you texting ellie, again. but this time, she came back very often. as soon as a show ended, she’d be on the next flight to new york to see you.

ellie🧸: boarding the plane rn

can’t wait to see u :)

both of your schedules were tight, but you still worked in time to see each other. ellie often cancelled entire shows just to see you, losing all that money. but she didn’t care, she just wanted you to be happy.

you: i miss youuuu

when r u coming back?

ellie🧸:

rn tbh

it felt like a dream once again, but this time, you had a feeling she wasn’t gonna let go. you hoped she wouldn’t. the two of you hung out constantly, going to her shows and being in the first row, her singing directly to you. going on walks at times square, ellie wearing a mask to hide her face of course. and sleepovers at each others apartments. liliana kept telling you to be careful, to not get hurt again.

not only were you guys talking again, but she was making it very apparent to her fans. saying things like “this one’s for my girl, she’s watching at home. see you soon, sweetheart” before playing love songs. even though you guys weren’t official- you haven’t even kissed since your last one almost 3 years ago- she sure acted like it. she was almost always sober, only ever smoking weed or having small amounts of alcohol before performing to lighten her nerves: never with you.

you were going over your neuro notes in your room, when ellie calls you, and you pick up.

you: “hey! what’s up?”

ellie: “i just got off the plane, gonna pick you up in 30 kay? wear something nice pretty girl, we’re going out.”

you: “what? where?”

ellie: “just be ready, kay? mwah i gotta go!”

the call ends and you laugh at how dumb ellie was, making kissing sounds. you quickly get up to find something to wear and throw on some makeup. you didn’t know how fancy you had to be, so you stuck with a tight black dress, black heels, and the necklace made out of pure gold ellie bought for you a couple weeks ago.

ellie🧸: come outside

her text makes your heart skip a beat, and you go out to see ellie standing next to a car. from your knowledge, she didn’t own any cars; just bikes. she was wearing a fucking suit: white button up that she of course didn’t button up all the way, black pants and jacket, and her dumb converse that completely contrasted the outfit. she smiled when she saw you. “ellie? what’s this?” you laugh, going up to hug her and smell her cologne. “y’like it? had it delivered earlier today before i got home for tonight!” she says with a coy smile. you let out a breathy laugh at the fact she can just buy such an expensive car for no good reason.

“it’s gorgeous, ellie.” you smile at her and she pushes herself off the car, turning around to open the passenger side. crawling in, you admire the inside. it was all black, with silver accents and a large carplay module. the passenger side had some photos of the two of you, and your name was engraved into the dashboard. it looked engraved by the fucking manufacturers.

she shuts your door, walking to the drivers seat, plopping inside. “whatcha think? paid a pretty penny for them to customize that.” she looks at you nervously, hoping you’ll like it. “oh ellie, you didn’t have to do this! you’re so sweet.” she smiles. “i’m glad you like it, babe.” she presses the button to turn the car on, and it unleashes a loud roar. as if she couldn’t get any hotter, the car was a manual, and she knew very well how to use one. the two of you leave the parking lot of your apartment complex, speeding through the buildings. you can help but stare at her, as you never got to see her face when she was on her motorcycle. she was focused; shifting gears strategically without stalling. you just stare at her face, her slightly unbuttoned shirt, her hands: your face becomes warm. “something wrong?” her voice snaps you out of it, noticing you’re staring.

“oh um- i’m fine! sorry..” you laugh quietly. “it’s okay to stare y’know? i stare at you all the time.” she says simply. god, she says everything with no fear. “where are we going?” you ask, curiously. “uhh i think it’s called masa’s sushi bar? heard it was really nice.” your eyes widen and your jaw drops. “WHAT??” you ask her, dumbfounded. “ellie that’s like $600 a person!! i can’t afford that right now i-“ “i got it, don’t worry ‘bout it kay?” she interrupts you. “ellie i don’t need to be taken out to nice places- id love to just sit in one of our apartments and watch cartoons.” you start feeling bad.

“you deserve it, let me take you out okay?” you put your head down, feeling terribly guilty. “hey, don’t feel bad okay? this is what i want to spend my money on.”

the two of you arrive at the restaurant, and before you can open your door, ellie screams “WAIT!” before jumping out her side and running to your door, opening it for you with a smile, reaching her hand out. you can’t help but laugh. “you’re such a nerd, ellie!”

the dinner consisted of the two of you laughing at each other, almost getting kicked out a few times for your loud behavior. “ellie! be quiet! that guy has come over a million times to tell you to be quiet!” you say in a loud whisper. when the check comes, you see the total and feel like vomiting. “$2,457?? ellie you’re crazy! i feel so bad let me give you someth-“ you try to pull your empty wallet out but she stops you, “i got it, don’t worry okay?” she tips the workers a large amount and gets up to grab your purse, and walk you out. walking to the car, she opens your door, handing you your purse before getting in herself.

“i have one more surprise, we’re going back to mine tonight.” she says while starting the car. “another? seriously ellie i dont want you spendi-“ “nuh uh, don’t wanna hear it. you deserve this okay?”

the ride home was fast, and filled with tension. you were nervous for what else ellie had in store for you. arriving at her penthouse, she lets you out and leads you to the elevator. you’re shifting nervously on your feet, and she notices. “what’s wrong?” she asks you, stepping a little closer. “i’m nervoussss! what is the surprise?” “gotta wait, sweetheart.”

arriving at her door, she opens it and holy shit. it was covered in flowers, slow music playing in the background. you followed the trail of flowers to the dining room table: the place the two of you spent countless meals together just basking in eachother presence. on the table, was a small white box. you lift it up, having no clue what could be inside. “open it, princess.” she says with a goofy, excited smile. you open the box, and oh my god. it was a gorgeous golden necklace, with an “E” attached to the chain. it wasn’t obnoxious, it was beautiful.

“ellie! what is this?! it’s so pretty!” you smile at her, hugging her. “do- do you like it?” “like it?? ellie i love it!!” you say into her shoulder. the two of you hug for a moment before she pulls you back, pulling a necklace out with your initial on it from under her shirt. everything feels electric, fuzzy, and warm. “let me help you put it on.” she says, gently grabbing the necklace out of the box. you turn around, lifting your hair, allowing her to clip the necklace around your neck. you turn around to look at her, and she adjusts it so it sits centered on your neck.

“you’re so pretty.” she just stares at you for a moment, admiring your features. she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, opening them again before asking,

“can i be your girl?”

it felt like you were floating. her cologne was filling your nose, her eyes searching for an answer in yours.

“i know it’s a lot to ask- i just- i really like you y/n and-“

she’s cut off by you pressing your lips against hers, wrapping your hands in her hair. her eyes stayed open for a moment before the closed, kissing you deeper. she wrapped her arms around your waist, wanting to feel you closer. the two of you stayed there for a moment before you pulled away with tears brimming your eyes.

“yes, yes i’ll be your girl ellie!” you say, laughing deeply and throwing your head back as she places playful kisses along your jaw. “fuck yes, yes!!” she says, laughing with you. the two of you just stand in the dining room for a bit, gently kissing one another before you pull back, leading her to the bedroom.

you grab the collar of her shirt, pulling her ontop of you, kissing her deeply. the two of you spend about 15 minutes just enamored with one another’s mouth, when she notices you squirming, pulling back. “what’s wrong baby?” she asks, innocently. “s’hot ellie..” you say, mascara running and your cherry lipstick smudged. she smiles, dipping down to suck on your neck, leaving dark marks, running her tongue over them to soothe the pain. her lips travel down, meeting the top of your dress. “can i take this off for you?” you nod immediately. “gotta tell me with your words, princess.” you whimper at her request, obliging. “yes.. yes you can take it off els.”

“good girl.” she gently removes your dress, followed with your bra and underwear, leaving you naked under her. “so pretty, my gorgeous girl.” she coos. she begins kissing down your collarbone, and to your chest. she looks up at you as she practically makes out with your boobs, giving equal attention to both of them. she lifts her head, looking at you with lust filled eyes as she steps off the bed to undress, completely naked. you’re practically drooling, looking at her toned abs, perky tits, and the freckles that litter her body. she goes back up to kiss you, before asking, “are you still sure? “fuck- yes fuck els- just… please”

“okay, baby.”

the speaker in the living room begins playing Let the Light in by Lana Del Rey. she lifts your leg, allowing it to limply lay over her shoulder as she slowly lowers her cunt over yours. the sudden contact causes both of you to let out a breathy moan before she begins grinding against you. “so pretty, my pretty baby..” you can barely respond, the feeling of her cunt directly on yours making you dizzy. it feels so intimate, but so right.

“never.. never leaving your side again you understand?” she says between grunts. “you and me- fuck- forever baby.” she’s grabbing at you: your tits, your hips, kissing your face. the air in your lungs feels like it’s being sucked out. “els… please i- more..” you beg. her pace speeds up, her eyes locked on yours. “gonna… gonna take care of my girl ‘kay?” you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. “els… m’gonna cum!!” you moan, grabbing at her arms. “me too- fuck- cum with me baby cmon give it to me.”

and that’s all it takes.

your orgasm rips through you, making your vision blur as hers follows right after, riding both of yours out. the room is filled with moans, squelching, and grunts as you both come down from your high. she collapses beside you, kissing you softly and cuddling you. she pulls away for a minute to just admire you. “y/n i.. i love you.” she says, smiling nervously. you can’t help but giggle as you pull her in closer, saying,

“i love you ellie williams.”

1 year later

you were getting ready for ellie’s private concert, wearing the same outfit you wore when she asked to be yours. it was your anniversary, and she was gonna take you out to a nice dinner followed by a surprise after the show was over. “baby? you ready?” you hear your girlfriend say, walking over to her to show her your outfit. “oh my goddd” she gawks over you. “look at my princess.” she says, grabbing your ass as she pulls you in for a messy kiss.

you two were late for her concert.

your heart was so full watching your girlfriend perform onstage. you were right up front, catching each others eye constantly. the sound of squealing girls around you threatened to drown out ellie’s singing. you look around, growing insecure at all the girls throwing themselves at ellie. she was smiling, enjoying the crowd and attention. girls were flashing her, holding up provocative signs. normally it didn’t get to you, but tonight it did.

finishing the concert, ellie’s bodyguards escort you to join her backstage. ellie notices your mood, and asks what’s wrong. “nothing ellie, jus wanna go home.” you reply blankly. “okay.. okay let’s go home yeah?”

arriving at her house, you walk to her bedroom, plopping yourself on her bed. she follows close behind after setting down her bag. “what’s on your mind, you seem sad?” she asks innocently. “the fact all those girls throw themselves at you! i mean, i don’t usually get so insecure, i know you love me jus…” you choke on your tears. “they’re so pretty, els. scared you’re gonna leave me for one of them y’know? i know im not the prettiest, i don’t have the best body-“ ellie cuts you off, jointing you on her bed. “hey, hey. don’t say that okay? you know i only have eyes for you.” she says softly, kissing your forehead. “you’re the most beautiful girl in this world, love. your body is beautiful.” she kisses all over your face, making you giggle.

it was like all your insecurities flew out the window. the two of you were laying on her bed, kissing each other softly. “m’sorry i ruined your surprise.” you say sadly. “hey, you didn’t ruin anything okay?” she reassures you. “what was the surprise?” her face turns a light shade of pink, stuttering. “we don’t have to- it’s was just if-“ you become more interested in what it was. “cmonnnnn just tell meee!” you say, the curiosity killing you. “are you sure? it’s not- if you’re not in the mood-“ “tell me ellie!” she sighs, grabbing your hand gently and placing it over her crotch. your eyes widen and you instantly feel wetness pool to your cunt.

she bought a strap on.

“we don’t have to, sweet thing. we can ju-“ her sentence is interrupted by you kissing her deeply, spit mixing with one another’s. she sat up so you could sit in her lap, her palming the fat of your ass. the two of you already removed all of your clothing besides underwear, the skin to skin contact making you dizzy. the make out session turned sloppier as minutes went by, and you became needier: grinding against her thigh. she noticed, and inquired you about it. “what’s wrong baby? needy for me?” you nod, almost forgetting ellie always wants you to use your words. “want.. want your cock, ellie.” you say, whimpering in her mouth.

“lay on your back, lemme do all the work.”

she helps you pull your underwear down your legs, followed by her boxers just after: causing the strap on to bounce out and fuck was it big. probably 7 inches, extremely thick and a dark shade of purple. you practically drool at the sight of your naked girlfriend in front of you, all strapped up. “gotta make sure you’re ready first, okay baby?” she tells you, gently pushing her fingers into your wet hole. “your so fuckn’ wet, baby. i do this?” you nod aggressively, making her add a second finger. “cmon, mama, gotta tell me with your words, how else will i know?” you loved when she was demanding, it usually only happened when she becomes really possessive.

“yes ellie- fuck! yes it you that made- made me this wet!” you say between moans. after a few minutes, she pulls her fingers out. “suck.” she demands. you oblige, taking her long digits in your mouth and sucking every last drop off. “y’ready? i’m gonna go slow okay?” she says whilst gently pushing the tip in. she goes slow, waiting for you to ask for more before she goes deeper. once she’s all the way in, she’s drooling at the sight of you swallowing the silicone. “can feel you squeezing my cock, baby. fuckkk look at her.” she presses your thighs to your stomach, ensuring she can get as deep as possible. then, it’s like the world is on fire.

she starts pounding into you animalisticlly, watching the ring of white forming at the base of her fake cock. she leans down to suck on your tits, sloppily making out with them as you scratch her back up with your long nails. this time, it isn’t slow or gentle. it’s hot and fast. needy. most of the time, she coos you through your orgasm, going slow and gentle. times like this, however, it’s like she has her mind set on one thing: making you finish. her words become more vulgar.

“fuckkkk look at that pretty pussy baby, she’s just taking all of me huh?”

“all. fucking. mine.” between thrusts.

“can see it poking through your stomach, sweetheart.”

“gonna fill you up, mama. carry my kids?”

the last line makes you moan loudly, as you didn’t know it was something you liked. she smiles, continuing her pace, out of breath. “yeah baby? you like that? want me to fill you to the fuuuuckin brim? dirty girl.” she makes out with you sloppily, drool dripping down your faces. “ellie.. ellie fuck i’m gonna cum!!”

little did you know: she was too.

the base of the strap had been rubbing perfectly against her clit, her pace speeding to make the two of you finish.

“fucking cum all over me- fuck- cream my fucking cock baby. fuckkk”

the two of you scream out, as your orgasms rip through at the same time. all you can hear is ellie saying “iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou!!” as you come undone, her fucking you through every last bit of your orgasm. she collapses next to you, pulling out. you whimper at the feeling of emptiness. “i love you so much.” she says, wrapping her hand around your waist basking in the skin to skin contact. “i love you, els.” she kisses you softly, rubbing your plump hips.

“i love you most sweetheart, happy anniversary.”

[machineheraldandy]

RETROFANG: talking about the ship

Xina Kwan x Miguel o’hara

For the 1992-1995 spiderman 2099 comics, and the world of tomorrow 2099 comics that followed.

Welcome back to me rambling in a way that probably doesn’t make sense

Miguel x Xina is one of my comfort ships, something I love, it’s flawed, but beautiful, it tells a story that the writers no longer want to show which is upsetting, it’s flawed loved of two people who care for each other deeply but cannot bring themself to be together, one is self destructive, while one seeks for ways to help. A relationship to its core doomed to fail.

The first time we ever see Xina is when she is that of what we can assume to be around 12-13, both her and Miguel were young students attending school together, two people that would later stick together and not befriend anyone else that we can see, and from the very starts it’s love at first sight for Miguel, you can see with the way it’s drawn to the plot that falls that Miguel falls instantly In love, and it can be argued that Xina also fell in love, or at least let Miguel flirt without being uncomfortable. He gives her a glance, and turns his head to follow her as she does the same before they officially talk.

Later on it’s straight away to flirting, asking to go to the pool, a possible sign of trying to get what a child may consider a date in a way. They spend the rest of their school years friends, and helping each other, it appears that even if both In love, they decided to take it slow, become friends, then best friends, then lovers, a way to build up a healthy and trusting relationship, a relationship that shows Miguel waited years to be with Xina, waited years for her.

This is what I consider deep love, a love that movie, craved but also feared, a love he had to destroy in order to destroy himself

The next time we see Miguel with Xina is when he is moving into his alchemax apartment (it appears), which due to the way we assume Xina is, and how she is in general, even if she went to an Alchemax school, she doesn’t really like Alchemax, yet would do things in support of Miguel working there, she saw flaws in his design and yet hang on, because she loved him, it’s then hinted that they of course did it, but it also shows one of Miguel’s biggest flaws when it comes to Xina, he loves her, but waits too long to learn about her. In later times he learns what she likes, what she does, but here it’s shown that he didn’t even known his best friend had gotten a tattoo of her favourite real life person, something he would have known because they are seen to be best friends that stick together.

Which brings up the issue and possibly why their relationship ended so soon, yes Miguel definitely found Dana attractive, and was emotionally cheating in front of Xina, but at his core he wasn’t ready to be a good partner, he wasn’t ready for a healthy commitment, he couldn’t even properly care for what Xina loved, even after knowing her since they were basically pre-teens. Miguel was not a good man at this time, he’s he waited for Xina for years, but he was too much of a bad person to hold onto her after finally getting her,

You also take into consideration that he is self destructive, he loves Xina more than anything and therefore he had to destroy it fast, he had to find another fast to destroy what he had, he had waited years for a woman, he has her, now he has to get rid of her in a way she will never want him back, how does he do that? Cheating. Emotionally first, and then physically.

When we end up seeing them again it’s because LYLA is broken, LYLA who resembled Xina in the way of it being based off of her tattoo, Miguel doesn’t care for Marilyn Monroe herself, he cares for the fact she is xinas tattoo, hence him only now caring for xina’s interests, caring too late. He becomes desperate to fix her because she is in his way a way to be close to Xina without havent to be near her, he loves Xina, but he can’t return, he messed it up too much on purpose. Though that ends fast as he soon learns that the best person to go to, to fix LYLA is Xina, which could possibly also be seen as an excuse to see Xina again. Once let in the first thing he does is go to her bedroom, to remember the old times, to live in the past, the past he craves but can’t get anymore.

You also see that Xina who is still single and assumed to have stayed single after Miguel, still loves and misses him, her bedside photo is them together. She loves him, she wants him, but she hates him as of now.

Within this time we also see Jack, Xinas Android, Miguel mistakes him for a partner, and seems to be almost jealous, upset. More signs he still loves her even if engaged to Dana, you also see Xina making it clear she doesn’t want him there and hates him, but she doesn’t kick him out, and it’s clear as much as she was uncomfortable, she cared enough to listen, cared enough to help, and of course we know this was going to happen, as even if she claims she just wanted to see him “crawling back” as a joke, it’s clear from the photo in her room, that she wanted him back deeply.

When she talks to Miguel many things are clear, one she is lying about things and two she is desperate to be the one he needs the most, even if she doesn’t want to make that clear.

She lies when talking about why they dated she claims it’s because she felt sorry for Miguel, but once again her photo in her room proves that wrong, along side the fact that she caught Miguel cheating as she came home early to be with him and to make him happy, she deeply cared for him, it was never about his dad, it was always about their love.

You also see how she is almost trying to push him away and is mocking his fiancé, Miguel doesn’t stop her, almost as if he wants her to insult Dana, because truthfully he doesn’t care for Dana the way he should, he cares for her as he loves her as she is what he considered dumb, someone that can’t question him, someone that blindly follows. Yet he sees Xina as smart, independent, and important to him, he loves that about her, yet is also scared about that. Because it means she can help him see his errors, and he doesn’t want to be shown, he wants to remain blind

Next one I want to talk about is this comic panel, you see that Miguel is finally caring for her interests, he is taking the time to get her real old things such as a gumball machine, because he knows she loves it, he is caring enough finally, he knows what she likes, what she want, why she wants it, he cared for her deeply and after years is finally showing it. Only now

next bit in this panel Miguel mentions the fact he was going to end it, he directly tells Xina he is planning to end it in a way, and Xina instead of making a joke, instead of being her nasty self she has been a few times, instead asks him to join her on a trip. Alone. She cares for him enough that she is literally wanting to spend time alone with him as a way to possibly keep him alive but to also reconnect, something that shows her deep love for him, and deep need for him, and also just the fact she is a great friend. These are two people stuck in a bad world they suffer in that still care for each other deeply.

(NO image as I don’t feel comfortable with that)

SA mention

I am bringing up a scene we end up seeing soon into their trip together, a flashback to Kron attempting to harm Xina, this is poorly written and used as a way to show Miguel and Leon’s hate for each other, they directly use Xina getting SA’ED as a way to push two boys fighting. This is no doubt disgusting writing.

But in the sight of this being about Miguel and Xina it has to be bought up in the way that Xina would put himself in danger, and put his family at risk, risk being abused by George, risk loosing everything, risk possibly even being killed by George, to keep Xina safe, he before now refused to fight back, refused to lay a finger on Kron as he was scared for himself and his family. He was frightened, yet he risked it all for Xina. He did at a point nearly bail on Xina, he was scared the worse would happen to him, but in the end he Kepler her. He kept her safe, even if it was poorly written and should have been shown in a different way that didn’t make a man the savour of a woman facing SA

Nor that’s over we get into the venom arc, the arc where Kron as venom attacks Xina and Dana to get to Miguel, something that reveals Miguel’s even deeper connection to Xina, he out of impulse screams for Xina, he is more worried for her, though he is still very worried for Dana, in this he has to save both, he only successfully saves Xina, and Dana passes away, this isn’t used for shipping Xina and Miguel, in fact Xina ends up leaving. This is shown as a way to show their friendship only, they don’t get together, as they both mentally can’t, Miguel lost his fiancé even if he wasn’t the best partner, and Xina had survivors guilt, she hates herself for hating the woman that slept with her boyfriend, a woman who hates her interests (shown by how she hates Gabriel’s retro interests) she so ends up leaving, I can argue that this was the best ending for the comic, until Miguel and Xina returned later. They both weren’t mentally stable, they both yes loved each other, but they would have ruined each other if they tried again.

The next time we see Xina is when she is happy to see Miguel, even slightly seeming to mess around, she cares for Miguel still, and Miguel still cares for her, but she has seemed to move on, she doesn’t care for a relationship, she has a job to do, people to help, and tech to work on, but yet she is still close to Miguel, she still holds onto Miguel, she still in a way loves him, even if as of now that love is platonic, and the same can be said for Miguel, he is trying to find Gabriel, he doesn’t have time for trying to get with Xina,on top of that but they only see each other for what can be assumed to be less than 24/7’S, they aren’t ready to try again, it’s too quick, and the story handles that well, it doesn’t make them a couple, it makes them friends, who still may have feelings for each other.

In the end they end up leaving, Xina just had her best friend did, and Miguel still needs to find Gabriel, they never end up together, from there on Xina stops showing up, she doesn’t appear in canon at all, she is gone from Miguel’s life, if we don’t count time storm a non canon story; it has been nearly I believe 27 years since she was last since.

It is a bitter sweet ending to her story, and she doesn’t get seen again, but it’s also a bittersweet ending to Miguel’s orginal love life for 2099, after that they force him into Peter Parker’s love interests within stories, or he gets tempest from the past, not his time, which I still love, she just isn’t from comics I read. For the year 2099, for the future Miguel has no life without Xina, he is stuck literally and metaphorically in the past.

I would love to Xina come back, she is considered Miguel’s MJ, the endgame, the person he loves more than anything, and really when you see the writing, when you see what was done, that is completely true, it was written that they were doomed lovers, but they could easily become good partners with time and effort, and if Miguel stops being self destructive

In the end they didn’t work due to Miguel’s self harm, and due to the fact Xina wouldn’t deal with what which is good for her. But if Miguel gets therapy…maybe. They could work.

Over all good doomed lover plot, painful for everyone that wanted them together forever such as myself

But in a non canon comic when Miguel is mentally more stable, him and her are married, and ended up growing old together :)

[thottie777]

college matt.

part 2.

you woke up the next morning to meg poking you until you opened your eyes, “y/n wake up for fucksake” she groaned, crossing her arms like a child when she saw you eventually squint up at her, confused on what the fuck was going on. “what do you want” you replied grumpily, rubbing your eyes and yawning, hair a frazzled mess from your heavy sleeping. “can you stop using my drunk elephant drops, they’re expensive and they’re mine” she demanded, looking down at you as though you were scum of the earth. “your drunk fucking what?” you responded, convinced she was speaking another language, “i haven’t touched your shit meg”, rolling over and burying your head in your cushions, hiding from the bright sunlight that was bursting through your windows.

meg stormed into the bathroom in a huff and came back, holding a pink plastic fragrance that was half empty, you knew what it was since meg sprayed it all over herself multiple times a day, stinking the room out. “can you also stop using my fucking sol de janeiro spray, get your own!”, you rolled your eyes and put your headphones in, attempting to block out the nonsense that was spilling out her mouth. it was times like these where you felt baffled on how matt tolerated her let alone loved her, you’d seen the way meg talked to him at times and felt appalled by the lack of self awareness she had, you couldn’t wait until second year so that you could move in with your best friend instead, but for your first year you knew that financially living with meg was your best bet, unfortunately.

-

(later that evening)

it was 11 at night and you were in your small pjs with leftover pepperoni pizza in a box on your bed and your hair in a messy ponytail, your laptop sat at the end of your quilt with the american office playing whilst you sat crossed leg, painting your nails.

you heard a quick knock at the door, confused since the only person who ever hung out in your dorm was matt yet meg was currently on a night out with her girlfriends. you crept out of bed, blowing on your black nails so they wouldn’t smudge and opened the door. there he was, stood with a cheesy grin on his face and a bag of reese’s in his hand, you gave him a soft smile. “meg isn’t home tonight matt, sorry if she miscommunicated with you”, he nodded, handing you over the reese’s “yeah i know, she wants me to pick her up later and said i’d be closer to the place if i hung out at your guys’ flat beforehand, that okay with you?” he asked “i bought sweeties, your favourite”, he beamed his teeth at you, it was impossible to say no to a face like his, you opened the door wider and raised your arm to gesture him to come inside.

hours went by, hours of giggling and long conversations. you found yourselves sat on the floor, backs leaning against your bed, your laptop shared between the two of your laps as you watched the lego batman movie on netflix. your knees were leaning against each other for comfort, it was too much effort to go out of both of your ways to completely avoid any physical contact since you were sat side by side, and it’s not like anyone could see you to judge anyways.

he looked down, removing his concentration from the film, “cool tattoo” he said, breaking the brief silence and staring down at your bare thigh. “thanks, spiders are actually my biggest fear so i thought i’d get them tatted on me so i could get over it” you murmured softly, letting out a soft laugh and looking down, a little embarrassed by your lame explanation. he lifted his hand that was closest to your side and gently placed his fingers on the spiderweb, trailing them delicately across the supple skin of your thigh, running lines around each corner of the web. your breathing became heavy as he completely caught you off guard by his touch, you tried to ignore the warmth between your legs as his skin held contact with yours. you felt your lips part from the light sensation, eyes fluttering shut as his fingers crept closer up you thigh to the top of the web. the goosebumps on your body were evident and hard to hide, you felt increasingly more flustered the longer his hands lingered on your body, “i like it” he replied, after what felt like years of sensory torture. you were disappointed when his hand left your thigh, moving it back down to his side and against the floor.

matt’s eyes made contact with the small tattoo that hid on your neck behind your ear, it was revealed due to the ponytail your hair was kept in- the tattoo was a match that was set alight, it had little to no meaning, you just thought it looked cool. your breath hitched completely when you saw matt lower himself to get a closer look at it, his hand travelling back to your thigh, doing loops around the web. as he leant in to observe it better his lips very lightly brushed the side of your upper neck, you were almost certain it was accidental but still felt a flutter in your stomach, feeling somewhat guilty of how aroused you were getting by such a tame interaction.

he slowly backed away from your neck, “that one is sick”, he whispered with a raspy voice, lips delicately grazing the edge of your ear as he returned his body to how he was sitting beforehand. “thanks” you mumbled, finding it hard to find words as you were attempting to lock in everything that just happened to your memory so you could save it for later when trying to sleep. you looked down at his arm and trailed your eyes over the numerous amount of tats that dotted across his skin, “these ones are my favourites” you pointed, placing your fingers on the leaves that fell down his forearm, “i love fall” you said quietly, looking back up at him and keeping heavy eye contact, he smirked at you and just as he opened his mouth to speak his phone began to ring, meg needed picking up.

[frogs00]

I meant what I said. 1-100 thank youu Ari 🫵😚

1. What’s your favorite thing in your room?

Hmmm, maybe my mouse skull, or my rock and crystal collection- My bed and my pillow.

2. how tall do you wish you were?

Like 5’3-5’5

3. What color is your hair?

Carmel-ish brown with blonde streaks I guess. Natural.

4. What’s a rare fear that you have?

I have Cupid’s bow lips which is the rarest lip type. I don’t know. I have blue eyes.

5. Are you single?

I mean yes. I was in and out of a situation-ship for a while but I left that.

6. Has your heart ever been broken?

Countless times. But if you mean by an ex-partner then also yes. I was cheated on twice and one of my partners took their life.

7. What was your favorite thing as a kid?

I loved watching cartoons and stuff. But I also loved playing in the dirt, climbing trees, swimming; stuff like that.

8. Favorite coping mechanism?

Drawing and sketching probably. Also age regression but don’t do that often.

9. What’s your favorite love language?

My love language is probably words of affirmation despite not being able to take a compliment. Showing my affection and love to others is through acts of service.

10. How often do you get nervous?

When am I not nervous?

11. If you had three wishes, would you use them?

Yes. I think I would. Not sure on what, though.

12. If you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

Spanish. I already know French and Italian, as well as English. I’m learning Hawaiian and Spanish. But I live somewhere where Spanish is used a lot so…

13. Where do you wish to live?

I like living in California. So here but even nearer to the ocean.

14. What’s something surprising about you?

I’m incredibly smart, hard to believe, but I am freaky smart. I’m not going to elaborate but yeah.

15. When did you last shower?

Uh, like an hour ago.

16. When did you first join Tumblr?

I had an account when I was 16 but I don’t know what happened to that.

17. Do you want any tattoos? If so, where, what, and why?

No, but I plan on getting some. I’m getting a semi-colan on my wrist in a few months.

18. What’s the most prominent dream you’ve had?

I’m sitting in a burnt field, it’s super foggy, and I can’t even see like 3 feet in front of me. I’m sitting down and then a raven lands in front of me. I’ve had this dream for five years now, it’s freaky.

19. What’s your dream job?

Probably an artist of some sort. Writer, painter, or musician. Not sure.

20. What is your ideal date?

Let’s go for a drive and watch the sunset while getting h*gh and eating sandwiches.

21. What do you wish you could do better?

Focusing. That was my biggest academic downfall tbh.

22. What country would you live in if you could?

I’d stay in the United States for personal reasons. But Perhaps someplace in Canada?

23. Who’s the best person you know?

My best friend (Literally obsessed with them) + my sisters.

24. Have you ever walked into something you shouldn't have?

Me and my friend walked in on two dudes fuckin’ once…

25. What's your favorite holiday?

Halloween. Easily.

26. When have you been most embarrassed?

I don’t really know.

27. What is your favorite Halloween costume?

Shark costumes are so silly! But I was a purge doctor 3 years in a row, also Angel costumes are top-tier (whether they’re cutesy or spooky lol)

28. What are you best at?

No idea, that’s opinion based, and my opinion on myself sucks.

29. Do you know how to tie your shoes?

Yes, I do. I learned really young lol.

30. Do you have siblings?

I have a LOT of siblings. 9 in all.

31. If you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

Do I have my own apartment yet? (My roommate is annoying me)

32. What’s a dealbreaker for you?

Disregarding my feelings :(

33. What's your favorite current class?

I am not in college yet, gap year lolz

34. How many people have you dated?

Uh, I'd rather not share.

35. How often do you wash your hair?

Every other shower, depending on how my hair feels on my head I might do it every day (I shower every day)

36. Do you daydream? What about?

I daydream a lot, about a lot of things. My mind is always racing.

37. Where do you go to be alone?

I go on walks to the water tower or on casual hikes when I really need to be alone.

38. Which parent do you like more?

None of them.

39. What’s the one standard you hold yourself to?

I don’t have high standards at all for others but for myself? I am not sure.

40. Who’s voice do you enjoy?

I like listening to most people talk tbh :) (I’m a listener but sometimes yap)

41. If you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

“We are all humans just trying to get by, and if you think about it that is kind of beautiful, so get over it and start loving more, dude.”

42. What’s one thing you wanna do but haven't yet?

See a Broadway play! I love musicals!

43. What do you wish you never did?

Hurt myself because I could’ve hurt a lot of people by doing so.

44. Do you believe in life after death?

I am an omnist, at the end of the day. I believe everyone has their own truth, and if I so happen to experience life after death, then that is beautiful, and if I don’t, I’ll be at peace regardless.

45. Do you prefer a book over a movie?

Yes, I do. I love reading and always find that they are better than the movie. But I still love movies heh heh.

46. What's your favorite season?

Autumn/Fall. I like the gloom and leaves and colors. Plus I’m an October baby (+halloween)

47. What’s your favorite time of day

Golden hour or nighttime. It’s so pretty.

48. Do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

Yes…. (Two Curious George stuffed animals and a bat plushie lol)

49. When is a time you wish you acted differently?

I wish I was more precise on my hurdle jumping so I would no longer be in chronic pain due to those injuries :/

50. What’s something you wish that you never bought?

My stupid waffle iron, I never use that thing.

51. Do you have your own room?

I do, although when it’s my days of the week with my sister I share it with her ^^

52. What’s your favorite book?

I don’t have a favorite, to be honest. The Art of Starving by Sam J. Miller resonated with me deeply, though.

53. Who’s someone you hate?

I don’t hate anyone, not truly anyways. (Maybe I do, perhaps my mother or bio father and mother or… or someone who hurt me deeply…But I don’t know…)

54. What’s your best hottake?

People should be able to do whatever makes them happy as long as it doesn’t hurt others! Whether it’s cringe or not. I love all of you (Unless you hurt people or support an obviously icky thing…)

55. What’s your favorite game?

Don’t roast me but… WolfQuest Anniversary addition… It’s a comfort! Okay?

56. When’s a time you felt real genuine fear?

I have almost died a few times so…

57. Are you a morning person?

I mean, no. But I’m not like grumpy and stuff in the morning. I just don’t like them lol.

58. Do you drink enough water?

I drink SO much water.

59. How different are you from the little kid you used to be?

So, so, so different. But that little girl will be healed regardless, eventually <3

60. Do you enjoTumblr?

… Yes? It’s a silly site.

61. have you ever had a Tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

No, not really. I’ve had really messed up apps but I don’t really pay any mind to them.

62. What’s your least favorite game?

I despise Bitlife. No, I won’t elaborate.

63. were you a Markiplier fan?

I was a DanTDM and StacyPlays kiddo myself, but I guess.

64. how do you respond to compliments?

I can’t. I can’t take them, they make me happy sometimes but I also will argue with you and disagree and simply not believe you so…

65. What’s something that would make you fall in love?

If they let me bite them and they pat my head. (Actually makes promises and keeps them, genuinely likes my company, actually loves me-)

66. Do you believe in marriage?

I think it causes issues a lot, especially since I’m LGBTQ+ and stuff, plus the statistics on marriage don’t lie, but yes, I do. Do what you want! <3

67. Do you have a crush on someone?

I suppose.

68. do you like Tumblr?

Yes, I do ^^

69. Were you a Voltron stan?

huh?

70. What’s your favorite ship?

Regina x Janis! (Also part-time Cady X Janis and CadyXReginaXJanis shipper tho. I love fetchen too.)

71. What’s your favorite song?

I have too many to name, so I suppose I don’t have one.

72. Do you like loud crowds?

No, they overstimulate me :(

73. Have you ever created conflict on purpose?

Nah (Unless you count fanfiction hehe >:3)

74. How do you sleep?

Terribly.

75. Do you bite your lips?

I don’t know.

76. Do you use chapstick?

Yes, I can’t stand having chapped lips.

77. Do you have any pets?

Yes! I have a puppy named Cruz and I adore him!

78. What color are your eyes?

Blue? Teal-ish? Gray? My eyes changed color a lot idk.

79. What’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

Nearly everything… but the overflowing love I have for others and my empathy is something I’d keep.

80. Have you ever had surgery?

Yes. Do not recommend it (Joking, please get necessary surgeries as they're important and improve your quality of life!)

81. What’s your least favorite animal?

I don’t have one, all living beings are important- Mosquitos, flies, leeches, tape-worms, etc.

82. What’s something that you’re really bad at?

Excepting help.

83. Do you have any Squishmellows?

Yes! I do hehe

84. Do you enjoy fast food?

Not really :\

85. Do you like soda?

Yes, I love me a soda once in a while

86. What grade are you in?

I’ll be a freshman in college soon!

87. Do you wear any jewelry?

Yes, occasionally. I have a chain I wear almost every day and have multiple piercings.

88. What socials do you use?

This and SnapChat but it’s private and for family and friends only.

89. What’s your lowest grade in school right now?

N/A

90. What’s the latest you’ve stayed up till?

I’ve stayed up over 36 hours, dude. Probably longer.

91. Did you ever have bangs?

Yes, I don’t want to talk about it.

92. What trends did you hate?

Don’t know, dude, 2020 was a dark time…

93. What’s your favorite item of clothing?

These cargo pants and they’re super comfy and match my style and they make me bappy

94. Do you like dinosaurs?

YESSSSSSS

95. What’s your opinion on body hair?

I mean, I shave, so… It’s fine, it just isn’t a pleasant feeling on MY body personally. But people with body hair are scrumptious (as are people without.)

96. What’s your least favorite time?

None? I guess I kind of despise the afternoon because work lol.

97. Do you make a wish at 11:11?

Sometimes for the sillies lol

98. Do you have your phone on military or regular?

Regular

99. Have you ever been to church?

Yes.. don’t recommend THAT experience! but to each their own of course ^^

100. Are you lgbtq?

Yes, duh! I’m Pansexual and use She/they pronouns! Among other things, I’m figuring out lol, but yes, I am.

[pencopanko]

Hi! Could you write ♥▼ for Rosa, ♡♦ for Miguel (besides music), ☯ for Luisa, and ☮ for Abel, please? I know it's a little much, but I love your headcanons. Take your time and thank you in advance if you decide to answer this!

Hi hi, hello!! Thank you so much for liking my headcanons! Of course I would love to answer your ask! I love Rosa and Abel almost as much as I love Miguel (to the point that they are part of the main cast for an AU I am working on), and I would be glad to talk about Mamá Luisa too! It's a long one, so I'll put it all under a Read More.

This is from this ask meme, by the way!

Let's start with Rosa: ♥ Family Headcanon ♥

This is inspired by rainydesignastronomywriter's brilliant Rosa-centric fanfics on AO3. I like to think that Rosa is a real daddy's girl and takes a lot after him. She loves her mamá to bits, of course, but she and Berto are very close. One can even say that she is her father's soul of his soul. During their dance at her quinceañera, Berto could not hold back his tears after realizing how much his darling daughter had grown up. And he cried even more at her wedding.

▼Childhood Headcanon▼

Out of all the young Riveras, Rosa was the quickest to learn how to read. She liked playing like a typical little girl, of course, but she enjoyed reading a lot too. She would ask Berto or Carmen to read to her sometimes, but there were days where she would read on her own too.

-----

Now, the boy of the hour, Miguel:

♡ Romantic Headcanon ♡

As a kid and up until him attending high school, Miguel wasn't too keen on the idea of romance for himself. He loved writing love songs, but most of the songs in that nature are about the romances around him like that of his own parents, Mamá Coco and Papá Julio after he found out about how the two of them met, Tío Berto and Tía Carmen, Abuelita and Papá Franco, that one song he wrote for Abel so that the latter could serenade his beau, a joke song for Rosa and Marco (De La Cruz's actual great-great-grandson who had been considered an honorary Rivera for the longest time), and the countless songs he wrote in honor of Mamá Imelda and Papá Héctor.

That is, until a girl a year above him caught his eye: Shaila Medina Álvarez. She was, to him, aloof in a graceful way, much like Tía Victoria but without her sarcasm. Miguel became smitten around her since the moment he heard her sing. She had a voice similar to Laufey's but not as "blue", if that makes sense. This puppy love didn't go anywhere for the longest time, until they reunited when both of them had become adults and they both realized that they were better off as friends. Shaila has since become one of Miguel's biggest supporters in his musical endeavors. Each of them ended up finding other people that they truly fell in love with, but they still keep in touch every now and again.

♦ Quirks/Hobby Headcanons ♦

Ever since the fated Día de Muertos of 2017 and all of the dirt-digging on De La Cruz, Miguel has become super duper into researching topics like cold cases, less-known historical events, et cetera. It got to the point that sometimes he'd say that if he weren't a musician, he would love to become a historian.

He's also become even more artsy after that night. He's always been pretty decent at drawing (nothing like Papá, Tía Gloria and Papá Franco yet, though), but he also picked up alebrije-making. His first ever finished one was that of Dante. Designing his figure was extremely easy... for reasons coming up next!

His main quirk, however? Being able to visit the Land Of The Dead and communicate with spirits. After Día de Muertos in 2018, things didn't go back to normal. He starts to develop odd symptoms like having a glowing petal-shaped tattoo where the flower petal touched him (inspired by "Out Of Time", a brilliant Coco X Atlantis: The Lost Empire time-travel fanfic by Panic_CelestialInk on AO3), seeing spirits and the likes in his own realm (inspired by another fanfic I read long ago titled "Afterlifes" by Storm137), and, of course, visiting Papá Héctor and the rest of the family whenever he wants.

It comes with a price, though. When he first gained this ability, he and the rest of the Riveras found out that he was to work under La Muerte from that day on. His curse made him a creature of both the Dead and the Living, and now his task is to help lost souls cross over as well as to assist in exorcisms under the patronage of Santa Cecilia, the patron saint of music and the namesake of Miguel's hometown.

-----

Let's get to Mamá Luisa!

☯ Likes and Dislikes ☯

This is true canon fact, but she loves telenovelas. She never misses an episode, and would sometimes fantasize herself living as an actress. She would sometimes tell Enrique the plot of her newest telenovela obsession, and even though Enrique does not understand what she is saying he loves to listen to his wife anyway. And that is also why she loves her husband, Enrique.

She loves music too, and once dreamed of becoming a singer. Unfortunately, she cannot keep a note even if her life depends on it, but she does have a good sense of rhythm and she can dance well. This is also canon fact from one of the picture books, but I'm adding this here too. She loves Selena, Gloria Estefan, Shakira, Paulina Rubio, and Alejandra Guzman. Basically she loves the pop girlies. One of her fondest memories after the music ban was lifted (and also before, but without music) was teaching Enrique how to dance.

She also enjoys talking to Tía Carmen and Papá Franco. Before the music ban was lifted, they were the ones with whom Luisa could easily talk about everything to (besides Enrique, of course), especially regarding how much she missed music and how seeing her son's yearning for the forbidden art hurt her heart. You can imagine her relief when the music ban was finally lifted.

Luisa dislikes stubbornness, which she has learned to somewhat tolerate after living with the Riveras. She quickly learned that stubbornness runs in the family, and while she is capable of tolerating it she would still call them out if things go too far.

She also dislikes harsh punishment on children. While being somewhat strict herself, Luisa rarely raises her voice--being raised in a gentle home herself--and almost never uses La Chancla unless provoked, much like Tía Carmen. The kids love her and Tía Carmen for this.

-----

Now for Abel! I think he is VERY underrated, and deserves more love and appreciation.

☮ Friendship Headcanons ☮

Out of the youngest generation, only second to Miguel, Abel is easily the most sociable of the bunch. He has a lot of friends with whom he loves to play fútbol with, drink with, and later on sing with. His friend loves him for his kind heart and silly demeanor, but it is also fun to have a little banter with him every now and then. Abel loves his friends almost as much as he does his siblings and cousins, but there are two who know him best: Manolo Guiterrez and Ynez Ramos Castillo, Doña Castillo's granddchildren.

Manolo is two years older than Abel and is also his best friend from middle school. Besides with Mamá, Abel often talks to him whenever he is down. Ynez was Abel's classmate, also from middle school, and they were pretty close too. His friendship with Ynez later on develops into a romance after Abel successfully wooed Ynez with a song, with the help of a disgruntled Miguel.

And these are what Shaila, Manolo, and Ynez look like!

[steve0discusses]

Ep 44 Pt 2: Name Hunt

We start this half of the episode at the card game that is currently just kinda stalled. It’s more like a D+D session at this point, where everyone is separated, random enemies are appearing in random rooms, and their biggest issue is that they were balanced to work as a team, and as a solo fight they’re gonna freakin die.

Or Bjork will come back in the time it takes for the team to reassemble.

Sorry his name isn’t Bjork, it’s Korn. Or...well it’s something from the 90��s. Zork. It was Zork. But with a c. Bjorc Necrophades.

So as Yami dumps on Bakura about how boring this game is for him, Bakura reminds him that because Pharaoh shoved his memory in a puzzle piece, Pharaoh is dumb as a sack of bricks. Which like, relatable.

I STILL don’t quite get it.

I know that Seto kills Yami in the OG timeline, they have been saying that for 4 seasons. But if Yami had to put himself in that puzzle to put back Zorc...does this imply that the fight with Seto was to resurrect Zorc? that Seto was a pawn of Bakura even in the original timeline?

Wait is that it?

(read more under the cut)

Have I finally figured out the paradox that’s been bothering me all season, where before it looked like Yami died 2 separate ways in two separate timelines? I mean, while I am much better (not fully, hence the slow update schedule but am getting much better) Long covid for like an entire year removed so much of my memory, that I was able to play Undertale again like it was the first time. Which is incredible because it’s the most memed game and y’all, I forgot nearly every line that Sans said. Which I’m not gonna lie, kind of rocks. But also kind of difficult when I’m trying to remember the plot of this show.

Bro did offer to write the blog in my stead, but when he attempted to use Photoshop he could not figure out how to leave the text editor. Making these caps will one hundred percent crash my computer if he’s doing the driving. Photoshop crashes my computer about 4 times on a normal day, if you don’t know what you’re doing, Photoshop will seal you in a demon dimension before crashing your computer, and yet, still charge you 12 dollars a month. You cannot turn your back on photoshop, just like Zorc.

Anyway, back to the show:

I mean that’s my personal gamble. I will always gamble Tristan on who’s gonna die. And him being Bakura right now is just...ooo ripe to die this season, yeah?

Bakura took a moment to try and remind Yami that this is all a simulation and all of these pieces on the board were in fact not real people, to which Yami reminded Bakura that he himself is a ghost in a box and is only loosely defined as a “real person” himself.

👁👄👁

And then Karim, who’s name I had completely forgotten, so I’m glad the show reminded me, was like “Oh no! I’m dying!” PS he’s been “dying” for like 3 episodes, so I was very surprised he actually fully died.

Like Egypt Grandpa is going to outlast this stack of bricks down there, and that’s like a lot to take in. Modern Grandpa breaks his butt like constantly but Egyptian Grandpa is built like a truck.

Isis was very upset by this, and like I don’t blame her, look at the FEATURES on that man. True tragedy right there to lose that block of cheese right there and just be left with freakin Shada. Who, in case you forgot, has a motorcycle tattoo on his entire forehead. I too would be crying my eyes out, Isis, this is looking grim for you.

It only just now as I was writing this cap realized that when Bakura was like “who would you bet is going to die first?” he wasn’t talking about Yami’s high school friends, but was in fact foreshadowing the truly tragic death of Karim, who I totally remembered the name of.

Anyway, it’s still gonna be Tristan because for real, Karim doesn’t count.

Bit of a baby manger vibe to this shot, not gonna lie. Nice nativity we got going there. Baby jesus, Mary and Joseph, a shepherd, a wise man, and uh...Shadi. Shadi could be an Angel I guess, he isn’t technically alive. There. Print this out and put it above your grandma’s Christmas tree, instant nativity.

Speaking of the kids, Joey was really testing my gamble by walking headfirst into a trap that spits daggers into your feet.

Inside of this maze is step by step the same as the story of the tomb we saw with the hot version of grandpa that opened this arc.

Including this room, where Grandpa got betrayed by a very silly slingshot.

This was the show spoon feeding us Yugi’s character growth, since he was just a barrel of nerves and sinew when we first met this boy. He is braver this season, I will give him that, but it feels like it’s more that he’s the only person who’s fully aware that none of this is real. Yugi is inside of his own mind puzzle. It’s literally the only place he’s got full control (ish).

At the end of this little walk across the fear pit that literally no one here had any problems with (like Tea walked across this narrow fear pit in 5 inch heels!) The little box that carried Pharaoh’s puzzle isn’t here, instead it’s a bunch of Egyptian hieroglyphs.

Reminder that even Season Zero Yugi, who is the most pile of nerves Yugi, would have kicked your ass even without the puzzle. Like this is mostly my own interpretation, but without the puzzle......Yugi would have straight up stabbed that guy, right? Like straight up? Yugi is a menace to society. Sure, he was nervous about having to defend himself, but Yami wasn’t a Pharaoh yet, he was Yugi’s dark side, who was backed into corners so hard by people with literal whips and people with yoyo’s with spikes on the end, he pretty much always had to choose violence in order to survive Freshman year.

Like yes he walked across a bridge without fear. Makes sense, the bridge doesn’t have spike yoyo’s, fire shooting out, a guy holding your girlfriend hostage with a gun at a burger restaurant, and whatever capitalist nightmare Seto has come up with that month. But we can still call this bridge character development, as a treat.

After Joey tricked the switch that opened the garage door to Yami’s secret name, the episode ended.

can’t wait to see Tristan hold up some fingers and have the show convince me it’s a gun.

Anyway, here’s a link to read these from the start, which I keep giving you although I need to reread my own blog myself, haha.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[ana-chronista]

🖤💉✈️⭐️🌺 please? :)

Thank you for the asks!

🖤 favorite hobbies outside of your blog Writing is a big one (of course), as is reading. Tolkien and Terry Pratchett are both favourites of mine, and more recently I’ve been reading a few books by Emily St. John Mandel and would definitely recommend them! I’ve been gaming for years, especially RPGs. I’m currently getting started on another playthrough of Stardew Valley (because really you’re never done with that game and this is my ‘evil’ playthrough) and trying out the Final Fantasy VII remake. I’d like to get back into jewellery making, it’s been a while since I’ve had the time (and space!) for it but it’s nice to do something creative that’s a bit different. 💉do you have tattoos and/or piercings A couple of ear piercings. No tattoos (yet? Never say never!) but mainly because I haven’t ever been able to decide on one particular design to stick to! ✈️ favorite place you’ve travelled New Zealand! I travelled around both islands for a few weeks several years ago and absolutely loved it. A couple of things I’d recommend:

The Waitomo Cave on the North Island is very famous, but my favourite of the three around there was actually the Ruakuri Cave; we had a guide who had worked on the excavations and was really passionate about the subject, so it was really interesting. You can also go black water rafting through it!

Obviously lots of Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit related tours are on offer, and as a Tolkien fan I enjoyed that. Of all of it though, the Weta Workshop near Wellington where the props etc. were made was the best, and it’s fascinating to see how all these special effects are achieved for TV/film even if you’re not big on Tolkien as they cover a lot of different projects.

The penguin sanctuary at Dunedin, especially learning about the inter-penguin dramas going on!

Overall though just a really lovely place to visit – it’s a beautiful country and everyone seemed very friendly and laidback (at least compared to where I come from, so it was a good change of pace).

The other two are a bit longer so I placed them under a cut...

⭐️ what is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you? I was the first person in my family to go to uni. Lots of people have that same achievement, but for me personally it meant so much because I’d worked so hard for it and still had really strong doubts I’d ever manage it. I definitely wouldn’t be the same person today without it because of the self-confidence it gave me, and for me personally it was definitely one of the best things I’ve ever done. 🌺 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important This is very random, and something very normal, but a towel turban. It was a Christmas present from my SO a few years ago – we’d been together all of five minutes, and what do you buy for someone when you’re still getting to know them? I hadn’t actually seen these before but after a conversation about why I always wrapped my hair in a heavy towel after a shower, my SO went and researched and found one for me as a surprise. It was just something really lovely and thoughtful because I could use it every day, and especially because it came from someone who’s never had long hair nor had anyone in their family with long hair to know about it beforehand. I’m now on towel turban number 3, all gifted by my SO, and still referred to as “the best thing I ever bought you.”

[demdifferentstories-29]

Get To Know Me

Thank you for the tag, @quite-right-too <3 No pressure tags - @bronzeagepizzeria, @naaer, @hgracieeees

What is your name? Lily.

For how long have you had this account? Technically around eight years (the original @demdifferentstories account), but this one is around nine months old I think?

Favourite food? I'm forever a slut for chocolate!

Favourite drink? Really depends, honestly! But you can never go wrong with Coke/Pepsi (can you tell I have a bad sweet tooth yet?).

Do you have any siblings? Three, and I'm the youngest of them.

Do you have pets? Yes - a very silly, chaotic bichon frise. He's the third dog I've had. My cat passed away earlier this year and I miss her deeply!

How old are you? Just turned twenty!

How many languages do you know? Just the one (English), however, I was pretty damn good at Japanese in high school and I'm keen to learn other languages.

What's your all-time favourite movie/tv show? Movie is easy - Spider-Man (2002). It's been my favourite film for sixteen years! In terms of TV, Friends has always been a big comfort show for me as I grew up watching it. Broadchurch and Jessica Jones Season 1 are some of the handful of shows I've rewatched multiple times, so I think it contends. Regarding Doctor Who, I really only genuinely care about RTD's era, so not overly sure if that would qualify!

What are you enjoying to do in your free time? At the moment, all I really do in my free time is write :,) But I also read, play guitar and sing, and I draw and embroider every so often.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Ambiverted with a tendency towards extroverted - once I'm comfortable with you, it's hard to keep me away!

Your favourite music genres? Metal and rock! More specifically, I've always enjoyed metalcore and other emo subgenres, but I listen to an array of bands.

Your dream place to visit? I would really like to visit the UK/Europe - specifically (Northern) Ireland, England, Scotland and Italy. I'm not the biggest fan of travelling, so I'm content with staying where I am.

Something you wish you were better at? I've always had really bad practising habits, so I wish I was more proficient in my guitar playing - it's something I always add to my New Year resolutions lol. Would also like to pick up piano, and I wish I was still into art/drawing as much as I used to be. Also would like to be a bit better at acting - I think I've gone a bit stiff since transitioning from high school theatre to university theatre as the classes aren't as practical.

How long do you take to respond to texts? ASAP! I'm not afraid of being an immediate responder. However, I might take a while if I'm busy/unavailable or if I'm not in the mood to talk to people (not anything personal - constantly socialising at uni and work drains me a lot and can make me a bit overstimulated/whelmed, so I just need alone time to balance it all it as I can find messaging to have the same effect as physical interaction/communication).

Do you have any tattoos? If not, would like to? I have three - one is a peace lily (namesake), and the other two are text ones related to the band Muse. I have about a dozen more planned, but they are expensive.

What's your sexuality? Bisexual!

Do you like reading? If yes what's your favourite book? Love reading, but I've found myself with not much time for it this year (including fics :(). My favourite book is Red Dragon by Thomas Harris - it's the first installation in the Hannibal Lecter series, and I think it's criminally underrated and overshadowed by The Silence of the Lambs. I also really loved The Handmaid's Tale when I read it - stuck with me for a long time.

Have you ever been in love? I don't think so. Maybe a little bit?

What's your relationship status? Single, but content.

Have you ever been heartbroken? Not romantically, but definitely by friends and family.

Best memory you could think of? I have a pretty horrible memory, but I can still recall the excitement I felt about my first concert.

Worst memory you can think of? Ah, my greatest strength! I won't delve into the more sordid/upsetting parts of my life, but things like having meltdowns/overstimulation prior to my diagnosis and not really understanding what was wrong with me were always quite upsetting for me.

Do you have any fears? I've always been a pretty bad arachnophobe, but I've gotten better. We won't get into others.

Are you a morning or a night person? It tends to shift depending on an array of things, but probably night - I have bad habits of staying up.

How many pictures you have on your phone? 12,314 (yes, I know - I'm insane).

Who was your favourite childhood crush? Oh, boy. Well, we can credit Kirsten Dunst and Kate Winslet to my (subconscious) bisexual awakening. In terms of men, I always thought Tobey Maguire had a cute quality to him.

Are you a romantic? I mean I don't really have the data to back it up, but I'd say probably - I have plenty of romantic fantasies and desires. Plus the shit I write can be so mushy and intimate.

What’s your dream date? No idea, really. Probably something that allows us to be relaxed, take our time and chat - a meal, a walk, etc. I imagine I would probably already be heaps stressed out about going out on a date, so avoiding overstimulation and such would help my case heaps.

What are your hobbies? Music, writing and reading are the primaries. Embrodiery is a smaller one that I hope to make more regular again. I also collect vinyl and CDs. Hope to get more involved in acting/theatre production during the rest of my degree too!

[allexei]

nicholas galitzine + he/him + cis male – have you seen alexei rakov around los angeles? the twenty five year old is usually jamming to nervous by the neighbourhood. word around the city is that they’re compassionate, yet, they can also be sensitive, but you didn’t hear that from me. they’re currently a veterinary science student and a librarian and are typically seen walking the streets of los angeles with a backpack filled with books. when i think of them, i think of crying over being so stressed about school, dying your hair back and forth as a secret coping mechanism, the playing of multiple instruments but a strong love for the violin and piano. let’s hope the city treats them good!

basic stats ;

⟶ full name: alexei antonis nikos rakov ( first name pronounced ah-lek-say, or click here for pronunciation ) ⟶ nicknames: likes alexei, doesn't like when people try calling him alex, but is too nice to correct anyone who does ⟶ three things he likes: instruments of any kind, summers in greece, books ⟶ three things he dislikes: people who just want sex, slow wifi, the instability he’s felt his whole life ⟶ gender: cis male   ⟶ height: 6 ‘ 0 ⟶ age: 25 ⟶ birthday: february 19, 1998 ⟶ zodiac: pisces sun ( aquarius - pisces cusp, known as the ‘cusp of sensitivity’ ), cancer moon, virgo ascendant   ⟶ right handed or left handed: left handed   ⟶ eye color: hazel, shooting more towards green, shifts depending on the lighting ⟶ hair color: naturally blonde, constantly dyes it from blonde to black and back and forth ⟶ piercings and tattoos: left ear pierced, no tattoos ⟶ languages spoken: russian ( father’s native tongue ), greek ( mother’s native tongue ), spanish and english   ⟶ sexuality / romantic orientation: demisexual / homoromantic  ⟶ place of birth: manchester, england ⟶ last five songs listened to: time by pink floyd, vitamin c by can, für elise by beethoven, méditation from thaïs by massenet, happiness is a warm gun by the beatles ⟶ five aesthetics: the intense feeling of feeling unworthy of being loved by anyone, shirts stained with black hair dye, a soft british accent, a stack of homework, crying over things you have no control over ⟶ character inspo: prince willhelm from young royals, charlie spring from heartstopper, adam groff from sex education ( season 3 adam )

background story ;

✘ alexei was born on a cold night in manchester to nikola ganos and sergei rakov, two twenty year olds who fell in love through music. his mother was a famous piano player ( think maybe like yiruma or ludovico einaudi ) while his father was getting more of a name for himself as a cello player. both classical musicians who fell in love and had alexei, very unexpectedly 

✘ his parents are both really well off. his mother’s side owns one of the the biggest olives and olive oil brands worldwide, originated in greece, while his father’s side owns plenty of alcohol brands ( mostly vodka ) originated in russia but sold all across the world as well. they were young, but they knew their son would be coming into the world very well off financially, planned to give him the perfect childhood, even got married when he was merely five months old

✘ and for the first six years of alexei’s life, that’s what it was. two parents who were devoted to him and wanted to give him the best life possible in england, even though neither one of them were british. but as he went from six to seven, all that love his parents had for each other seemed to dissolve more and more each day. his beautiful early childhood turned into him listening to his parents fighting constantly, and even though he was so young, he couldn’t help but ask himself – where did my parents’ love for each other go?

✘ and if you guessed it, they ended up getting a divorce when he was barely seven, but the thing is… his parents weren’t like normal parents. it wasn’t the typical case of custody with one parent while the other has visiting rights, or even shared custody of 3 days a week here, and four days a week there, or even complete custody of him to just one parent, no, his parents were determined to fight for him until the bitter end

✘ it turned into a game of who alexei liked more, they couldn’t even stand to be in the same room together, and it was really difficult to tell a little kid ‘who do you love more?’ or ‘who do you want to live with more?’ or ‘you have to pick’ or even just his father trying to put him against his mother while his mother did the same thing to him with his father. sometimes, alexei felt like they didn’t even really love him, but just wanted to prove to the other that he could love one or the other more

✘ eventually, they settled for custody in the worst way possible. alexei would live with his mother for six months, then he would live with his father for six months, and maybe this wouldn’t be so awful if they both decided to stay in england, live maybe a city or two away from each other, but no, definitely not. they immediately left his birth place, his mother going back and forth between greece and spain, while his father traveled from canada to russia repeatedly, and well… this is what alexei’s life became

✘ maybe to some people, it might sound ideal. not staying in one place for too long, constantly moving from one city, knowing you wouldn’t be staying there for longer than six months, perhaps to any traveler, this is the dream life, but that certainly wasn’t the case for alexei

✘ this going back and forth put a serious strain in every aspect of his life. he would enroll in a school, make a friend or two, only to be ripped away from that scene for the following six months, halfway across the world, for the same thing to happen to him, over and over again

✘ and the worst part was that his parents didn’t seem to understand that it didn’t make him happy, all the going back and forth. he was unstable, he didn’t even know how to really talk to people at one point, because he knew deep down, that there was no use in trying to make any friends if it would just be taken away from him sooner or later

✘ basically, a loner. he spent most of his childhood to early teenage years dodging conversations, definitely ate his lunch in the bathroom vibes. the only consistency his parents had was their love for music, which, is the one thing that did make alexei happy. he was a virtuoso. from the piano, to the cello, to the bass, even the drums, saxophone and viola, he loved it all, though his true love was in the guitar, piano, and more especially, the violin. he grew a real love for mussic, had multiple instruments at his mother’s and multiple instruments at his father’s, again, the one consistency in his life

✘ while he wasn’t big on singing, he basically had the voice of an angel. could switch from a soft tone to a rather loud one, a male soprano range… truly a gift, tried to break glass to see if it was true and it in fact, wasn’t a myth ( at least in his case ). pretty much any orchestra teacher’s wet dream, a typical band nerd

✘ he also had a huge fascination for books, his favorite genre being sci fi, horror, or a good coming of age, but honestly, he read it all. nothing could fuel him more than a good book

✘ anyways, when he was sixteen, he convinced his parents to enroll him in a boarding school in northern california, very pca from zoey 101 vibes, and they surprisingly agreed since it was neither with his mother nor his father, but a spot in between. for the last two years of high school, he had some type of stability

✘ though, during his senior year, he became the talk of everyone through the most unfortunate event. simply put, alexei met a guy. at this time, he wasn’t even really sure of his sexuality. he knew he wasn’t straight, but he didn’t think it was just that. he felt like there was more depth to what he liked and didn’t like, but this guy managed to charm him. he was good looking and alexei enjoyed the fact that he smelled good. this was his first relationship ever. prior to this, he shared his first kiss when he was fifteen with a random girl near his mother’s house in athens, and simply put, he didn’t like it

✘ this was different though. he enjoyed kissing him, but he didn’t feel like doing anything else but that, and the more the guy insisted they take it further, the less inclined he felt to give him what he wanted. he liked him, but he didn’t feel a genuine bond with him

✘ alexei, however, is a people pleaser. he didn’t want to have sex with him even though at this point, they had been dating for well over two months. he didn’t know why he didn’t want to, he couldn’t pinpoint why having sex was such a weird and touchy subject for him, but basically, he felt, in a way, guilt tripped by this guy. it was the constant questioning of ‘why don’t you like me?’ or ‘what’s wrong with you?’ or even ‘i promise i’ll make it worth your while’ and one day, they both get drunk at a hotel, and even though alexei has been drunk plenty of times before, well, he caves, instantly lives to regret it

✘ the following day, as he’s walking towards his first class, people are whispering about him, not so discreetly pointing, giving him looks, and it takes him a matter of fifteen minutes from getting to his first period before one of his friends sends him a text message with a link attached, much to his horror. the message reads ‘is this you?’ with a link to a video. the video is them having sex the night prior

✘ he had filmed it all and posted without his consent. they were both of age, but it literally made alexei sick to his stomach. for one, he felt really used, as he never gave him permission to record anything, let post what they did, and two, he hated the attention this was getting him. he’s always been one to fly under the radar, and now this was all anyone was talking about, lost count over how many times he’s cried over this

✘ the following months reaching towards graduation are literal hell for him. the video gets to his parents which is quite literally his worst nightmare become a reality. legal action is taken and they thankfully manage to remove the video from the web completely, but the damage has already been done, he’s miserable. worst graduation ever, doesn’t even walk the stage because he’s just so humiliated, and for once in his damn life, he wishes he would have been in that constant moving back and forth life. maybe then, he could’ve ran away from the problem the second it started, sad boy hours, really

✘ after graduation, he gets out of california. for about two years, he just travels. ironic considering it’s something he didn’t like to do when he was younger, but at that point, he just wanted to get away from everything

✘ he’s twenty when he moves back to california. crazy, but even though he has bad memories, it was the one place he felt stable. he permanently moves to los angeles, southern cali, which is far from the school he graduated in, tells himself that here, no one knows what happened. perhaps this is a good thing about being rich, that he never really had to worry about money, it’s just always been there. a paid off apartment, a simple call to his mother or father and bam, money in his account, but truth be told, alexei didn’t want to live off his family’s fortune forever. now that he was stable and had no intentions of moving, he wanted to do something with his life

✘ he’s a really smart guy. shy, quiet, but smart. he changed his major about three times before deciding he wants to be a veterinarian, is studying veterinary science, finished his bachelors and is moving on with his education. he knows he doesn’t have to do anything with himself if he doesn’t want to, he knows he doesn’t need a job as a library assistant, but he wants to make something of himself, without his family’s money. he knows he can do it, it’s just a matter of not giving up

headcanons ;

✘ natural blonde, but constantly dyes his hair black, then switches. dying his hair is almost therapeutic for him, has even gotten buzzcuts during times where he was really depressed, but he prefers longer hair

✘ he has a british accent, literally nicholas galitzine’s voiceclaim. not too strong, but it’s there

✘ speaks russian with his father in absolute shame, my guy is definitely free ukraine all the way, just wants peace and love

✘ because of his past relationship, he has a very difficult time trusting people, loving people, or even allowing people to love him. he’s had sex that one time… that’s about it. the whole idea of love really confuses him. it’s something he wants, but it isn’t something he’s sure he understands, and he hates not understanding things

✘ he has been confused with his sexuality his entire life! he’s always felt like an outcast around other guys his age because they all typically wanted sex, meaningful, meaningless, just a typical guy thing, and that definitely didn’t apply for him. for ages, he thought there was something wrong with him, but it wasn’t until he learned about demisexuality that he finally understood… kind of. he just wants it to be meaningful, wants to have a connection with the person, the idea of meaningless sex and hookups literally makes him super uncomfortable, but it’s what most people seem to want these days. he just wants real love, even though that terrifies him

✘ he doesn't really have a lot of social media, just an instagram that he barely posts on. he's that one user that made a post three years ago and has four posts in total, one of himself, the rest of books, one of food, and some type of landscape... he's this guy, he's a loser honestly, probably has like a hundred followers or something, doesn't care for social media

✘ his favorite things in the world are books, animals, comics, and music. he’s a major nerd, has a passion for literature and music even though this isn’t what he’s pursuing for his career

✘ he doesn’t really tell people his family is wealthy, just doesn’t really think it’s important. in fact, lots of people don’t know much about him. he likes to keep to himself, doesn’t like sharing information, and wants to keep his past in the past

✘ he can drink. call him a typical russian or whatever, but it’s crazy how much he can drink, can practically outdrink anyone, no one believes it but it’s very true, tolerance through the roof, doesn’t even get sick and rarely even gets hungover, but he doesn’t make this an everyday thing

✘ he’s a pescatarian! probably will never become a vegetarian because he loves salmon way too much, loves salmon in every form possible. meat and chicken gross him out and he doesn’t like eggs either, just fish, heavy seafood lover

✘ close friends of his roast him for this, but he’s an olive fanatic as well. greek olives, peruvian olives, spanish olives, any type of olives, he’s obsessed. when he was younger, there was always olives at his house, because of his mother’s company, and he would dead ass eat them out the jar, finish the entire jar in like five minutes, still does that to this day. at his house, you’ll likely find two large jars of olives, minimum, a snack he will never get tired of

✘ his social skills have somewhat gotten better. definitely not the best, but he was horrendous before. thankfully overcame his stutter when he was younger. he’s still really shy, doesn’t like being the center of attention, but he’s getting better… baby steps

✘ what you would call a typical pisces – very sensitive! he doesn’t show this publicly, but if it hurts his feelings, he’ll cry when he gets home. literally the type to cry over sad videos, movies or tv shows, very emotional. pisces sun and cancer moon combo, he’s a literal mess, he feels things a lot, feels things on a whole different level than most people, which makes him a very compassionate and understanding person, definitely a shoulder to cry on, a very loyal friend to have by your side

✘ he forgives a lot. he’ll forgive you time after time after time, but when alexei genuinely gets tired of your shit, you will never hear from him again. he’s very forgiving, but once he says ‘i’m done’ there is no changing his mind. it takes a lot for him to get to this level, but he can only be taken advantage of for so long before he gets sick of it. once you lose him, you lose him for good

✘ he has a bearded dragon named jake long and a beagle named pawl mccartney. he named the bearded dragon after one of his favorite shows as a kid and his pet beagle was named after iconic paul mccartney, of course. jake long is one and pawl is two, alexei adores both of them

✘ loves his parents, but still somewhat holds a grudge over them for his childhood, even though he isn’t one to hold grudges. they definitely messed him up one way or another. even if it wasn’t their intention, being so unstable for so long has kind of permanently scarred him. he has a very hard time getting genuinely close to people, whether it be friendships or romantic relationships, it’s hard for him

✘ super nice guy, but quite literally remembers every bad thing that has happened to him ever. his energy is crying over something that happened when he was a literal child that he had no control of at three in the morning, might as well have the memory of an elephant. he’ll forgive, but he won’t forget, like ‘you remember what you did august 15th, 2016 at 4:57 pm? i do too’ like… isn’t one to hold grudges, but if you thought he forgot, you thought wrong

wanted connections ;

you don’t know that i know: i’d die for this connection, but someone who maybe heard of his sex tape? whether they never tell anyone or act like a little shit about it is utp, but alexei doesn’t know that they know, you know?

you think you can outdrink me?: a muse who thinks they can outdrink him, but they never can, could turn into a whole little competition, could be really funny

classical music lovers: title says it all, two nerds passionate about classical music, bonus if this muse is a fan of his parents or has heard of them

slow love: a poor, unfortunate muse that likes him. they could like how nice and down to earth he is, alexei could even know that they like him, but considering how iffy he is about relationships, well… yeah

all my friends are fake: someone who doesn’t like him because they think his whole nice guy act is fake, or maybe doesn’t like him for whatever other reason

book nerds: a fellow book and comic lover like him, maybe they spend their time in the library being literal nerds

cry baby: another muse who is sensitive like he is, they’re just soft besties and want peace and love, very wholesome friendship

or we can brainstorm!

birthchart ;

[musettina]

His smile is everything🌞

He is everything😭💗

NowVIZ mag's season 2023 digital issue is finally out with the interview & photoshoot with Lorenzo that was done before his participation in the Miami Masters 1000 (you'll remember those sneak pics...😏🥵)!❤️‍🔥

Often, it's a single moment in the course of your career, a moment that may be overlooked by onlookers, that makes you realize you're on the right road.

For Italian Tennis pro Lorenzo Musetti, that came after a five-set loss to former world No. 1 Novak Djokovic at the 2021 French Open. The then 19-year-old Musetti took the first two sets against the Serbian maestro in what was his Grand Slam debut.

"It was a fantastic experience. I was playing my best tennis, for sure," the young player who ranked 76th at the time later told the press, adding, "Now I know how I can play, how far I am from the biggest in the tour, like Nole, so I know that if I play good I can stay at this level."

It was a moment of clarity for Musetti that propelled the player to become one of ltaly's top three tennis players less than two years later. But though he claimed his highest ATP ranking ranking of World No. 15 on 26 June 2023, the road to sporting success had been a long time coming for the Italian star.

Musetti, who was born in Carrara, Tuscany, in Northern ltaly, on 3 March 2002, began playing tennis at the incredibly young age of four. When it quickly became obvious that he had a gift for the game, his father, Francesco, a marble producer, and his mother, Sabrina, a secretary in a local Tuscan company, didn't hesitate to support their only child's tennis dreams.

At the age of 10, Musetti was taken under the wing of tennis coach, Simone Tartarini, who has remained the Italian champ's coach to this day. A regimented training routine and the tight circle of supportive family and friends around him were instrumental in keeping Musetti focused during his teen years as he evolved into a strong junior player.

Between 2016 and 2019, the young Italian won seven singles titles, reaching his peak as the winner of the 2019 Australian Open boys' singles and ranking junior world No. 1 that same year.

2019 was also the year that the star player turned pro. Receiving a wildcard and passing the qualifiers, 17-year-old Musetti made his ATP Tour debut at the Dubai Tennis Championships in February 2020.

In 2021, he reached the semifinals of the ATP Tour 500 Mexican Open where he had his first top-10 win, beating world no. 9 Diego Schwartzman in three sets. Later, he played in the Lyon Open and the French Open, and finished the season with the Next Generation ATP Finals.

In 2022, the determined tennis dynamo scored 44 wins from 74 matches. He scooped winning titles at the Napoli Tennis Cup and the Hamburg European Open, where he beat current Wimbledon winner Carlos Alcaraz. Reaching the quarterfinals of the Paris Masters 1000 Musetti faced-off with Novak Djokovic once again and took another loss against the tennis superstar.

That would change in 2023. In a three-set thriller against Djokovic at the Monte Carlo Masters in April 2023, Musetti finally defeated the former world No. 1 and reached the championship's quarter finals.

"I am really proud of myself," the ltalian player told the media in his on-court victory interview afterwards. "I am struggling not to cry because it is a dream..."

And though he added, "Beating Novak is something remarkable for me," perhaps, beating Djokovic was also an inevitable step on the road to tennis greatness that only a few years ago Musetti had realized was the actual road he was on.

Lorenzo has the phrase, 'Il meglio deve ancora venire' tattooed on the side of his chest. Translated in English as, 'The Best is Yet to Come' inspired by a song from Ligabue.

You've been on fire this 2023 season making your top 20 ranking debut with a career-high singles ATP ranking world No.15!

At this year's Monte-Carlo Master's you upset world No. 1 and top seed Novak Djokovic to reach your second Master's quarterfinal. Then you went to the fourth round at the French Open, and the third round at Wimbledon! Will you talk about some of your best moments?

@lore_musetti: "My best moment in this season so far was when I had the chance to beat Nole. I was living a dream for sure! It was the best win in my career and something that I won't forget!"

@djokernole praise on Musetti's game at 2021 Roland Garros: "I really like how he plays. He's got a lot of firepower from both forehand and backhand. He can play with a lot of spin. He's got a great feel, come to the net. He can play short balls and dropshots. He can flatten out his serve. He can open up with a good kick and slice. He's got an all-around game."

You've been coached by Simone Tartarini since the beginning of your career. What is it that makes him a great coach for you?

"Simone is more than a coach; for me, he is like a parent. We have shared a lot of memories and experiences during our relationship and he definitely knows what I need to do the most."

Every top athlete seems to have or has had a mentor, friend, or someone in their corner to offer guidance. We wonder if you do and, if so, how have they helped?

"I think my family is the best support system I could ever dream of. They are always there for me and they are always supporting me."

What motivates and inspires you daily?

"My daily motivation is to get better every day so that I reach my goals!"

You travel extensively when on tour. So besides playing tennis, how do you stay physically fit?

"I train every day either in the gym or the track field. The fitness part is something really important in our sport, but training is also important for my health."

As a top player how do you stay in control of your game mentally?

"I work daily with a psychologist; the mental side is equally as important as the physical side in this sport. It is a long process to develop and takes time to be defined."

How do you fuel your body nutritionally throughout the season? Is there a specific diet or regime you follow?

"I try to stay as healthy as possible and follow a meal plan, especially during tournament week."

"Music is probably my biggest passion. I'm a huge fan of music in general and I listen to it a lot during the day - literally, every kind of music!"

"The top of one mountain is the bottom of the next. So keep climbing!"

-Lorenzo Musetti (do you remember when he wrote this...?🥺💪🏻🏔🤍)

Check out on their site: https://www.nowviz.com/

https://issuu.com/nowvizezine/docs/nowviz_019?fr=xKAE9_zU1NQ

Or on my ig page:

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A post shared by Fanpage for Muso//Backup @musettismo (@lorenzo_ilmagnifico_musetti)

[mollydastoertchen]

The year finally comes to an and and I have a question for you. 2022 was the year of new OCs, so: How many new OCs did you create in 2022? Bonus points if you introduce each of them with a lil' picture and 2-3 sentences about what their deal is. Let's have a "Babes created in 2022" party!

Ive been not so active here on tumblr, I do apologize for it! So.. yeah... 2022! I guess this is my 'furry OC outbreak' year xD I had furry OCs before that, but... I never really got into them. I couldnt grasp them as playable characters like I'm used with human OCs. But this year was when I created some babes that, oh boy, I have fun playing with! But it's not nearly as big of a count as you might think. So let's dive right into it.

1- Becks Warborn (Art by kaitoharo99)

Becks is the leader of a mercinary pack of werewolves. He basically got created to give one of @Zelendur 's OCs - Wulf - a new boyfriend. And as Wulf is just a premium horse who can't quite tie himself down, there was this whole pack of members forming. First and foremost there are Aadit and Liyan - two mercinary members by Zelendur, who got their mingling hands on Wulf as well. This leads to Becks having to not only make sure that Wulf is HIS boyfriend that only gets to have fun with others when he allows it - but it only leads to Becks having to put the other wolves in their place if they decide to dismiss his set up rules. Its a polyamorous relationship between Wulf and Becks mostly, but Aadit and Liyan cannot be ignored at all!

Plus, through to Becks background story, I also created...

2- Dyle Warborn

Dyle is Becks older brother who did not manage to get the alpha leader title himself. In fact, when a huge brawl broke out over the new leadership after their father died, Dyle lost an eye and with it his will to lead the pack. He went from one of the strongest member to the 'crippled old dog' that had trouble keeping up with the rest. He hated being treated differently, but he just couldn't perform as well in battle anymore. He has no design yet, nor have I really fleshed him out yet. But he already got a bretty girlfriend, so... eue

3- Tucker Bust

Tucker is probably the first furry OC I really clicked with. A charming playboy who is a bit on the dumb side. He is just a very good boy. He is the kindof casanova who knows how to click with anyone he meets, and therefore he can have very different sides on him. But in general he is just a really big puppy who is looking for his one and only love. After many failed relationships, he finally found the right guy who love him the way he is. Cooper, his angel, is Tuckers biggest obsession and he loves him endlessly. And Tucker definitely does some weird things to be liked by his boyfriend <3

4- Chris Rowland (Art by @zelendur )

Chris is my first and only (female to male) trans character. Chris is, honestly, one of my most beloved furry OCs of all time. He struck everything in me even before he had a set design. His and his boyfriends love story is honestly so cute and stupid, I love it. Bradley and Chris have been my obsession for quite a while, and those two still tick a lot of boxes for me. My precious baby <3 He is a pure fighter who has been fighting for his and his friends all his life. In the end he opens his own tattoo and piercing shop, living his own life, but always close to his boyfriend Bradley and his bestie for life, Gary.

5- Dezel

(His design is not set at all and definitely will be revamped a bit for the final version)

Dezel, or also known as Dessie, has been such a happy accident, haha. Zelendur and I figured that Gary needed himself a boyfriend too eventually. At first we were in love with Gary and Tucker in an alternative universe (cause oh BOY they fit together so well too!). But since Tucker is absolutely loyal to his angel Cooper, we needed someone else. And that's how Dezel got created. Dezel is a nerd first of all - an indie developer who used to go to the same school with Chris and Gary. He had been a friend of theirs for years - with a mayor crush on Gary. But he is too shy to really communicate his interest. No matter how much he tried to show it, everyone assumed he was just being a friend. Dates got ruined by others or Gary who didn't realize that it was a true date, and Dezel never got his point across. And from that somewhat secret admiration rose obsession. He uses the anonymity of the internet to flirt with his crush. And since Gary has himself an onlyfans.... yeah. Through some event Gary figures out who his generous online-admirerer is and is oddly charmed by his childhood friend. Aaand thats how they give it a try. No feelings first for Gary, but the good-natured nerd soon can finally show his worth to him <3

6- Willow Bishop

(His design is also not set, it was just his first scribble)

After I created Chris, Zelendur was oddly charmed with the thought of another trans OC. And therefore Nicholas the demiboy happened~ I had to SNATCH the bnuy before anyone else could, cause boy I love that little guy so much <3 And here is Willow - a physics student who met Nick through their interest for journalism and especially ghost hunting. They immediately clicked and became somewhat like best friends within no time at all. He was always super charmed by the small bunny, but Will is not gay and therefore was not interested in his best bro. But when he found out that, technically, Nick was a girl who wanted to be a guy, but... still had a girl body.... Oh boy, that shook something loose in him. That game-changing fact immediately made Will show interest in the small bunny who was so perfect in any way - and now that it was also a girl body, he was totally head over heels for him. And to his luck Nicholas was just as interested as him. And then they hit it off instantly yet again. I love those two chaos-seeking idiots a lot xD Hunting for ghosts and then both being scaredy cats when things get real. Aah I love em xD

7- Nathan Evans

My latest obsession, Nathaniel, short Nathan or Nathe! Nathan got created for this hot stud, Clint. I love bad boys, and I love tragic love stories with difficult personalities. Clint and Nathan are somewhat the 'Karanos and Donovan' of our furry roleplay, and yet they are so different and unique and I love them. They both started as best friends in a small gang of youngsters, doing little crimes to come by. Clint with neglective parents and a younger brother to take care of, and Nathan as the only child of pretty poor parents. Then Nathan had to move away with his parents pretty suddenly and a fight with Clint stopped him from saying goodbye - until he regretted it later and tried to reach his best friend with letters. Unbeknown to him Clint had gone to jail after the gang had taken it too far, and so Nathan never heard of his friend again. Until 10 years later, after a lot of shit happened in Nathans life as well, he moves back into town and meets his friend again. They have a rough and chummy friendship with both caring for the other in their own way. But after some unexpected steamy moments between the two (as Clint showed himself clearly interested in Nathans body), Nathan realizes that it's more than friendship for him. But with their relationship also come problems. Once they move together, they start seeing each others weakspots and bad habits. Anger issues, alcoholism and drugs make things escalate a lot - but both of them will reach their happy end together as they fight to stay together.

And.. yeah! That's it folks! 'Just' 7 OCs, which is, for ME, a veery high count. I have at least one more character planned, but nothing concrete yet. And Dezel and Will need proper refs, not to mention for aaaall the toyhouse pages that need to be created... ugh...

Thanks so much for asking, have fun <33

[trsrina]

—> GET TO KNOW ME

thanks for tagging me @hannikz <33

when is ur bday? 11/11

favourite colour? honestly can’t pick but blue & yellow

any pets? no but i used to have three turtles

height? 161cm but ive probably grown a few centimetres since i last measured

how many pairs of shoes do u own? i have three pairs that don’t fit anymore but i still keep them for some reason 😰 and my three pairs of plain white sneakers and a pair of black loafers for school (don’t ask me why i have so many) and three pairs of shoes i actually wear and a pair that’s still in the shoe box not worn at all

favourite song(s)? island by youha, you’re on your own kid, daylight, death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift, the perfect pair by beabadoobee, farewell neverland and our summer by txt, shooting star by xg and a lot more i forgot about

favourite movie? i love coco, barbie and the 12 dancing princesses, clueless and Aladdin the live action

ideal partner? giggles minatozaki sana but she technically she doesn’t know yet but like she technically kinda my wife already not delulu!!! also yang jungwon my side chick 🫶 ahem also alhaitham and xiao (without the angsty stuff) and ningguang sugar mommy 😳

do u want children? no 💀 i don’t ever plan of getting married at all rlly and 90% of children are annoying af

have u gotten in trouble with the law? ofc not

what colour socks r u wearing? navy with cat patterns

favourite music genre? I like anything rlly but mainly pop and i like bossa nova

how many pillows do u sleep with? one

what position do u sleep in? sideways usually facing the wall

smth u hate when sleeping? light and sounds im the type that has to sleep in complete darkness and silence

breakfast? usually just any kind of bread occasionally choco cakes with milk/choco milk/milk tea mixed with coffee

have u tried archery? no and i’d probably suck i can’t even aim on roblox 😭

favourite fruit? apples 🫶

r u a good liar? i can’t lie for my life well maybe sometimes if it’s for smith rlly serious

mbti? intp-t 😎

innie or outie? going out if it’s with ppl i enjoy being with

leftie or rightie? rightieee

favourite food? very unhealthy but chicken nuggets and beef 😰

favourite foreign food? i have an unhealthy obsession with shrimp tempura 🍤 and i love love love shabu shabu

r u clean or messy? usually clean but messy when im in a bad mood

favourite phrase? oh my god ig

how long do u take to get ready? approximately 15 mins if excluding my skincare routine and brushing my teeth and the time it takes for me to get out of bed but like including that it’s an hour im usually someone who’d be like 20 minutes early so no rush

do u talk to yourself? a concerning amount the psych ward is calling for their missing patient

do u sing to yourself? yes a lot

r u good at singing? not at all 💀

biggest fear? clowns, drowning, ghosts if real, serial killers, exams, my primary school class teachers (im telling u i was at the verge of tears every time they talked to me literal trauma), my science teacher last year, death and yeah pretty much most things

r u a gossip? definitely yes i gossip a lot

long or short hair? short hair like long hair is pretty but it seems rlly annoying

favourite subject? english cause im good at it

introvert or extrovert? introvert with strangers and ppl im not so close with but i suddenly become an extrovert with friends like I wouldn’t be shy at all and would approach random ppl if i wanted to

what makes u nervous? everything i have really bad anxiety like the lift is slow? im gonna be late even if i was 20 minutes early. haven’t done my assignments yet? the deadline is next month but still

who’s ur first real crush? my 1st grade classmate we used to be friends for a while and then he’s now an ass so we don’t rlly talk anymore

how many piercings? two, one on each earlobe

how many tattoos? none ofc but i would love to have some when im older

how fast can u run? average speed? but i have great stamina like i could run 15 laps max at a moderate speed

what colour is ur hair? very dark brown in the dark but a chocolate light brown under light idk i had multiple ppl ask me if i dyed my hair before tho i didn’t my mom says it’s bc of malnutrition

what colour are ur eyes? very dark brown almost black

what makes u angry? lots of things i have anger issues

do u like ur name? i used to hate it when i was younger bc it’s regularly used as a masculine name and i thought it was bad but now ive learnt to embrace it and it’s unique so great 👍 but I still not enjoy trying to explain it to ppl 😕

would u like a boy or girl if u had a child? girl

what are ur strengths? being early and flee the facility on roblox im like rlly good at that game

what are ur weaknesses? mention one thing about a father figure and im done for

what is the colour of ur bedspread? i have no idea what that is but i googled and i still don’t rlly understand but i think i have none sry my brain doesn’t work

what colour is ur bedroom? well i have this really really light blue wall colour basically white at first glance and brown wood furniture

tagging (no pressure!!) @seungiepup @wonillaa @aerisfy @winteringdream @badmuni @yeniiverse @yenqa @hypesahi @jwonsociety

[callunavulgari]

Year-in-life | 2022

Or that annual New Year’s meme where I talk about what the year was like to live through. 2022 features: wedding planning stress, 3 (?!) different vacations, and probably a little too much backsliding.

1. What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before? Attempted to plan a wedding! Saw four out of five of the Great Lakes (RIP Lake Ontario)! Saw New York City! Went to Florida! Rode the subway! Had engagement pictures done! Went on a ten mile hike (and didn’t die)! Saw Florence freaking Welch in person!! Got a tattoo in a different state!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My resolutions for 2022 were to lose weight, get healthier, expand on the outlines I produced, and be happy. I have failed at... almost all of these things. There has been some happiness, though, I am happy to report.

Resolutions for 2023 - you know what, since next year is the wedding, let’s not jinx it and just have the goal of being happy.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! One of my bridesmaids had the sweetest little girl a little over a month ago.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Not this year. 

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? Alas, no countries. We did go on three (?!) trips this year though: a surprise trip to Florida in April because Nick’s grandmother wanted us to visit their condo which I’d never seen, our planned trip backpacking around Mackinac Island and Michigan’s upper peninsula, and a surprise trip to NYC at the beginning of this month. Of the three trips, the Michigan trip was definitely my favorite. 

We stayed in Mackinac Island for a few days and hiked around, ate some fudge, smelled some horse piss, then we went up to Munising to hike at Pictured Rocks, stopping in at a couple different waterfalls along the way. From there we ended up in Traverse City, then Frankenmuth on the way back. And then! A week later! We were back in Michigan to see Florence Welch and concert. Divine experience, 10 out of 10, would simp again.

6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022? Hm, in 2021 my answer to this question was “a marriage” which did get delayed, but is at the very least on track. I... think my answer is going to be the same this year? I would like to have a husband this time next year.

7. What date from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I... honestly don’t think that any of them stand out. It was a very in-between sort of year. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I survived. It was a hard year. Not all of it, granted, and it was better than 2021, and leagues better than 2022, but. Still hard. I’m still tired. I desperately want to quit my job. I didn’t have any medical procedure done this year, which is the first year I haven’t had some kind of surgery since 2017-2018.

9. What was your biggest failure? Technically not keeping the weight off was the biggest failure, but I’m not holding it against myself. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not... yet? I have like a week left, so hopefully that holds true.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Hm, most of my money this year went to tattoos. I may have gone slightly overboard. I am slowing down. But I do love them so! 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My own, always. But also, Nick’s. He has been just... the absolute best person these last two years. It’s been so hard, but he has helped so much. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don’t know. I’m close to not inviting my mother to my wedding, so her, I guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Tattoooooooos. God, way too much money. Like on one hand, yes, I am making up for not having any spending money to give myself the things I wanted in my twenties, but on the other hand... holy shit, I have spent too much money on tattoos. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Tattoos. The Florence concert. The Michigan trip. The new God of War and Horizon games.

16. What song will always remind you of 2022? To Be Human. Foundations of Decay. The Encanto soundtrack. Florence’s Dance Fever, but King in particular. The Spiritfarer and Hollow Knight soundtracks. This Is a Life. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Technically speaking, compared to this exact time last year, I am sadder. But this year I have been happier. ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter. iii. richer or poorer? Eh, maybe a little richer? I’m not obscenely broke and I remember being obscenely broke until like February last year. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I’d done better. With my mental health, mostly? I spent a whole lot of this year suffering from some really intense anxiety. Been having a lot of heart palpitations, which are either from the anxiety or lingering covid issues (or both.) I just wish that I’d taken better care of myself, and hope that I’ve taken care of myself better next year.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Moping? Grieving? Hiding in my apartment?

20. How will you be spending Christmas? For Christmas Eve tomorrow we are probably going to stay in, play some games, maybe watch a Christmas movie or two, and then make pirozki. For Christmas Day the plan is to drive to Nick’s aunt’s house and have Christmas with his family, but with windchill it is -30 outside, so we’ll see.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? Honestly? I’m not sure. We’ve been invited to a warehouse party of all things, but we are old and set in our ways, so there is a very high chance that we will just stay in. 22. Did you fall in love in 2022? I’m marrying him next year!!!! 23. Best month for you this year? End of August/early September was amazing, mostly because of the trip. <This was my answer last year, but it still holds true. 

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2022? Hm, Station Eleven, Our Flag Means Death, What We Do In the Shadows, Stranger Things s4, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Paper Girls, The Sandman, House of the Dragon, Rings of Power, and Love Between Fairy and Devil were my top shows this year. I think my absolute favorite was probably The Sandman, with Our Flag Means Death as the runner up.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t think I have enough energy for hate at this point. I’m just tired.

26. What was the best book you read? Absolute favorite was A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers. After that, probably Nona the Ninth, The Golden Enclaves, A Priory of the Orange Tree, Nettle and Bone, and Summer Sons, likely in abouts that order.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? MCR. released. a. new. single. MCR RELEASED A NEW SINGLE!!!!! 

28. What did you want and got? Um. A lot of tattoos. To put this into perspective... since last September I have gotten eight. It is, in fact, a problem. I am here on out restricting myself to only one a year, maybe two if the second one is something small.

29. What did you want but didn’t get? I do still wish that Mal were here. 

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I actually didn’t watch a lot of new movies this year. I rewatched various Lord of the Rings movies about five times this year, but so few new ones. I think maybe Wendell and Wild.

ETA: What the flying fuck am I THINKING, I watched Everything Everywhere All At Once this year, which is my favorite film this fucking DECADE. Watch it, if you haven’t yet.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I actually had a fairly horrible day. I had to work for the first time in four+ years and I was covering for a co-worker so it was very busy and very stressful. Nick didn’t get me a gift which I? Shouldn’t be upset about? But I kind of am. And then his company Christmas party was scheduled on my birthday at a restaurant that I hated, which COULD have been awful, but actually ended up saving the day because I got to geek out with one of his coworkers about books. 

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Mal. Still. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022? I mean... comfy? I started a hybrid work from home schedule so I actually wear my pajamas more than ever now. Considering upgrading to some really good ones since I’m in them so often. I bought a REALLY gorgeous warm red lipstick though, and bought this really pretty white dress, and EARRINGS that are SWORDS. So. That’s cool. 34. What kept you sane? Nick, usually. Rigby has been a huge help too. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don’t know. I’m rewatching Fellowship though and spoilers, I’m still hot for Cate Blanchett. Oh oh oh! Gwendoline Christie! She is just. So much. Gorgeous. Intimidating. 10 out of 10, would call her mommy. Also, seeing Florence live was a magical experience and did awake something in me. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? I have had “fuck Donald Trump” as the answer to this question since 2015. And for the first time in half a decade… it’s not him. It’s all the problems he left behind. So I guess it is still at least a LITTLe bit “FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789 2022″

37. Who did you miss? Mal. Also? My dad?  38. Who was the best new person you met? I mean, she’s not really NEW but I got to know one of Nick’s coworkers better. She’s SO nice and really cool and I want to be her friend. I actually got her number this time though, so hopefully we’ll actually hang out.

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: I mean, I’d like to say the ice is broken enough to consider her a friend, but we’ll see. 

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year: From February, I don’t think I have anything earlier, Please ignore the silly pose, lol, I was going out that night and if I remember right, already pre-gaming a little.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year From December 15th - we’re experimenting with red glosses for the wedding to brighten up my natural color and this was the result. My hair is so long!

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Definitely the meal we had in Little Italy! I had a passionfruit martini that was literally the best drink I’d had in my life, then veal parmigiana, and the best tiramisu I’ve had since I was in Italy.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? I actually think it might have been the Florence concert. Every vacation was obviously good in different ways, but seeing her in concert made me realize why people DO concerts. I’d never really understood before.

44. What are you excited for next year? Wedding! Also nervous about it! But also excited! It makes me want to puke!

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022: My valuable life lesson in the year of 2020 was: Life sucks. Keep your head on straight. Mourn your dead and love your living like you’ll never see them again. Live life like you could die tomorrow. And don’t take the little things for granted.

And you know what, I’m going to keep that. I think it’s a good reminder.

46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: to be human, i want direction i wanna feel human again - To Be Human, Marina

2018 me apparently quoted Singing in the Rain. 2019 quoted something sad and pretentious. 2020 me quoted This Year, because she was a dramatic bitch and hurting. 2021 me quoted an assurance that I wasn’t broken.

2022 me is just tired. Tired of being strong. I want to feel normal again.

[amortensie-moved]

heyyyyyy nixie!!!! how are you? i've missed randomly stopping in to admire the cats on your blog, hit you with a string of incoherent nonsense, and then disappear again. in fact, i've missed it so much that i've come to do just that <3

so,,,,, if you saw me ask cass these same questions, don't think about it. in fact, forget you saw it at all because it makes this soooo much more mysterious,,,,,, i have some random yet specific questions for you to answer. they will make some semblance of sense in approximately 14-21 business days, i promise.

what is your favorite food?

favorite color?

favorite song(s)?

favorite tv show/movie?

favorite book genre?

favorite hobby?

do you have any random habits?

what is your love language (when it comes to giving and receiving)?

what is one thing that you think you’re just incredibly amazing at? (the more random the better, asdfghjklkjhgfd)

what is one thing we should never entrust you to do/complete?

what languages do you speak/understand? are you currently learning any?

what is your ideal type when it comes to a romantic partner?

if you were getting a small tattoo (and I mean babie size) where would you get it?

is there anything simply iconic about you that you think the public ought to know?

anyway, ily bestie <3

OLIVE!! HI!!!

super glad to see you on my blog! i’m doing quite well, thank you very much! i’ve missed your presence so much, and like you, i’ve also been on and off in activity in this site due to personal busy-ness.

while i am a teensy bit curious, the questions do seem like such fun, so here are my responses after the cut:

1. i love love love sinigang! its this filipino soup that i’ve only ever tasted homemade, and boy it is delicious! this is a recipe that nearly every filipino household has memorized in their own little way, and it just reminds me of home

2. yellow :)

3. once upon a december from anastasia or alternatively, to mix it up, your ex lover is dead (final fantasy mix) by stars

4. ohh this question is hard. a recent fave of mine is the sound of magic which is constantly giving me brainrots every other day, but merlin is a show that will constantly live in my heart!

5. classic literature! i love all types, but gothic literature is particularly interesting to me. also love fantasy!

6. my favorite hobby is crocheting and knitting! i group them together as they are essentially the same fiber art, just different methods to create v similar things

7. i sing random opera notes when i’m nervous lol ( not particularly good at it, but somehow vibrato and high notes are unlocked in those occasions )

8. i give love through gifts! my go-to gift is to crochet a tiny heart stress plushie for people and ahh theyre and i get so happy giving them. i love sharing food or even just odd things i find. as for receiving, i am such a sucker for words of affirmation. heartfelt silly notes my beloved <3

9. i am practically an expert at untangling yarn and knots by now. after being into the fiber arts for about three years, its safe to say i’ve done it far too much.

edit: i forgot to mention this before, but proud to say that one of my weirdest best talents is that i can accurately mimic a goat sound. in addition to this, i can make rlly weird sounds out of this and shift the vowels so it just sounds really odd and cursed 😭. its hard to explain— but its my favorite trick to show off and make people laugh in confused horror

10. i am known for being one of the biggest hazard myself. i am super clumsy, and my sense of self preservation is usually thrown out the window when it comes to tasks that are physically taxing. in addition to this, my fatal flaw is perhaps my un-athleticism

11. other than english, i’m understand tagalog! it is my first language, and while i don’t speak it much, i understand it fluently. as for learning, i’ve been studying french for two years now, however i am far from fluent (yet).

12. ooh this is an interesting question! i haven’t had a non-fictional crush in a while hah so its more difficult to narrow down a specific type. besides the general criteria ( like not being an asshole ), overall, i just look for someone who is really sweet and caring! being smart is also a big plus for me, as i would like someone whom i can share my academic interests with. and i’d prob like someone who is a tad more extroverted than me to balance my reservedness. think golden retriever energy.

13. i would prob get one below my ear on my neck. i feel like its a cool enough place, and i can always hide it with my hair or makeup if necessary.

14. i am like halfway through owning a small business hah. at the moment, i’ve just been selling locally through crochet/knit commissions, but i am in the process of expanding to online! and, for anyone who is a mutual and interested, i might share my public insta acc for it via dm if you pinky promise not to share it linked to my tumblr ( it has semi - personal info )

[hcuyk]

oh that fic was crazy!!!! URE CRAZYYYY I CANT WAIT FOR THE 2ND CHAPTER IM PUMPEDDDD. i totally can see ur improvement from ur past works and im glad ur writing for tbz again 🥹🥹 descriptions good characters good plot is INSANE this is like writer comeback of the year

first i want to preface how much this ask means to me like. i went on a one hour rant in a discord vent chat because of the amount of feelings i felt from your asks—literally kicking my feet, squealing, ROLLING IN BED LIKE. AAAA i really really want to thank you for stopping by and sharing these words, esp when i feel like my works aren't doing as well as others at all or that i'm just truly not meant to be here but asks like these really, really keep my drive because it shows your appreciation and AAAA im holding it so close to my heart

the fact you can see my improvements??? from my past works??? because that means you've been here for over like two years atp?? unless you just read back and whatnot but still i thought my past works were BURIED but it means so so so much to have you read my other works and now this??? and notice my improvements?? IM SORRY I REALLY HOPE YOU CAN TELL HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE THIS AND IM A RAMBLER 😭😭😭 IDK IF YOURE USED TO THAT SIDE OF ME its been so long since ive been on tumblr 🥲

writer comeback of the year is going to be my biggest badge my next degree a tattoo under my eyelids so i can always see them i SWEAR LIKE :(( THATS SUCH A BIG COMPLIMENT and i REALLLLLY HOPE I DONT DISAPPOINT WITH CHAPTER 2 🙏 i havent written much of it yet but i have a strong strong outline that im excited to execute because although im not as familiar with smut, i think the idea i have will drive the plot/the pairing's corruption AND AAAAA ITS GOING TO BE A WHIRLWIND i literally write for you and only you ty for stopping by and i hope you feel comfortable with returning often or interacting with me :( and again its okay if not!! the fact you're here for me rn is just AAAA THE WHOLE WORLD i cant thank you enough

ALSO THE URE CRAZY COMMENTS R TAKING ME IUT BECAUSE I RWALLY AM LIKE 😭😭😭 IM GOING INSANE WITH WHATS ABT TO HAPPEN IN THE STORYLINE