#but I’m grateful for this blog- it’s the one I’m the proudest of and I’m happy with a lot of the art

[riiwrites]

Do you have any tips or advice on writing,your way with words truly is amazing-♦️

thank you sm lovely anon, this is such a sweet compliment 🥹

i’m not good with tips or writing tbh, like one day I just started this blog and started writing and now I’m here I guess 😭 (funfact i acc ran an IT fanfiction blog back when I was like 11 this is not my proudest moment I shouldn’t have even been on this app)

i’m a big fan of english literature and always have been, im taking higher english next year for s5 and I’ve learned quite a bit tbh that I think can help!

1. my teacher always tells me to not repeat the same words over and over again. like for example :

“character watches s/o walk into the room with their bright smile and bright eyes”

instead, you could say :

“character watches s/o walk into the room with their beaming smile and bright eyes”

personally in my opinion repetition is good for both writing and poetry but using more adapted words can really elevate your writing. but that’s just my opinion on what it does for me and i try my best not to repeat the same words consistently. if you struggle to think of more advanced words you can use google because that’s quite literally what i do but you can also use a thesaurus, they’re quite helpful i used to use them in primary school for writing :)

2. another tip i can think of is using techniques of writing, this also goes for poetry too (as im currently having to study for my english exam on poetry). there’s a few techniques you can use in writing fanfiction such as

- metaphors (an implied comparison eg. “my mum has a heart of gold” - meaning my mum is a kind hearted woman. she is)

- similes (similar to a metaphor but it’s a direct comparison, typically used in the forms of “like a” or “as” eg. “she was as cold as ice” - meaning that her personality and demeanour is rather cold and stern.)

- personification (similar to a metaphor also but this connects human characteristics such as personalities or emotions to a non living thing eg. “the trees danced in the wind” - trees cant dance like a human can, but the way they bristle in the wind can make it seem like they’re dancing)

i know some of these people would’ve already heard about but i thought I’d add in the examples and explanations just to clarify it for people who are confused and want to learn about it

this isn’t a MUST you have to include in your writing or anything but these are just tips on ways you can elevate your writing and personification is specifically good for describing scenery so the reader can feel more engaged within the story :). these are only a few of the techniques i use so if you wish to hear about more please do feel free to shoot me an ask.

3. one last tip that comes from me in my experience of writing is actually educating yourself by reading some writings you’re interested in. one thing I’ve learned about writing is that you can gain experience by becoming influenced by other people’s writings on any part of the internet. not like plagiarism of course but i mean you can become inspired by the way they write and adapt your own writing style.

i’ve learned so much from my beautiful and amazing moots and they’re all just so talented, im forever grateful and proud for each and one of them :)

but i hope this helps ♦️ anon, and YOU are my first official emoji anon HEHEHE SO THANK YOU!! and i will be adding more to this tip list if i think of anything.

and please remember, anyone can be a writer. it doesn’t matter wherever you’re a natural or if you’re “inexperienced”. we all engage and write in different styles and ways and that’s what making writing such a beautiful thing to contribute in. so don’t give up and if you need anything at all don’t be afraid to message me, i hope you’ve given this a read and again, i hope it helps. <3

[notjustjavierpena]

Happy Birthday to the fic that brought me to your account!

It started with Hubby and I will always come back to it forever and ever!

All your Javis, Joels, all your other Pedro boys! So grateful for your writing and despite having notifs on I still check your blog everyday in case you posted something new!

Are you planning anything to celebrate one year of Hubby?

Thank you so much, anon 😭❤️💖 I’m grateful to have you sticking around for me even though I could manage this blog better. I’m very slow in my production of content for you lately, so no I am not planning anything unfortunately. It didn’t even occur to me that I could do that and it was something people wanted. I’m sorry :(

I think I am going to try writing some more on their wedding but my days have been filled with anxiety lately, so I’m not going to be able to make my deadline which is in a month.

If anyone wants to celebrate hubby and wife, they’re welcome and it would mean everything to me. They’re my proudest fanfiction-creation.

[fuukablogs]

higher folio - SQA Scottish Higher - English

hello! this is my first proper post to my blog and I wanted to showcase the folio that got me 28/30 on my Higher English exam! I'll be writing another entry tomorrow reflecting on the piece with annotations. i hope this serves as inspiration!

Portrait of a Single Blur

Space is vast, space is endless possibilities, but I don’t think I’d be too surprised if one day the government were to leak out the existence of aliens. I’d be unfazed. I’ve known an alien for a long time. Our memories are freshly sharpened and sketched in an HB pencil. We have been packaged together and labelled with one thousand little fragments, as you lose your mind trying to piece us together, realising every piece is a grey corner. You could put in a box of loneliness, I, we, would be all too familiar with it anyway.

My eyes flicker open, and I hit play on my 50s toned show renowned as a life. Instantaneously my world brightens. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Fog. Fog shrouds my window in the dreary morn. It’s simple, I ponder to myself, piercing a delicate pair of silver earrings through my lobes, before my mother gives me a familiar gentle kiss goodbye. I glance at her peach blush before I depart.

People are themselves. Love is rationed these days, so I see why they’d be that way. The opera house. Where wit is your sword and likeability your shield. But what is a soldier to do facing a steel-worn army with their proudest blade? Fight? Don’t make me laugh. Be grateful, voices echo, though no mouths are in motion. I’m not tunnel visioned, I tell myself for the 5th time today, I just like gazing at the approaching moon engulfed by the night sky. Peering up from my recent calculus I eavesdrop on my peer’s worrisome woes of teenage angst once more. People. They think they are vibrant. Still, I notice the faint roses on your cheeks, and your pearl smile as your mind and lips meander, dripping buoyantly with adorations for that girl you’ve known for a few years. I paint jealousy green, not for the longing of being that wonder of an existence you vision standing with, but for the burgundy ribbon you dance out towards her while the wires are plugged into my spinal cord.

Connection is for non-orientated. For a long time, I enjoyed being aware of my surrounding environment until I noticed the tide beginning to sweep you away, your waters full of jellyfish. The colour is beginning to bleed as you slowly, slowly, slowly gravitate towards your moon while I am on Mars. I am a Martian. A Martian drifting through the vastness. But trying to characterise myself with mere words is like trying to fit a slim blazer on me while I have broad shoulders. I use your green and red paint for illustrating my education, regaining personal validation as seven As stand tall on the refined mail. Be focused, the voices begin to raise, as the casual noise is a little more welcoming in my ears. I sit idly, gazing, gazing at nothing, gazing at you all. Ribbons are red snakes, piercing me with their venom, but the cables flowing out to you are now appearing on my wrists, searching for a USB port. Please, lend me your port, let me plead on my knees for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a weak man’s word. It’s a cry for help, an act of desperation. I never cared about being stable, as my cables just wanted to loosen themselves from my strict criteria of academia. But my pencil is becoming blunt. I smile softly as you all laugh in the face of myself, threat. I know it’s me, I’m the problem that no calculator can solve. Be considerate, be conscious of their feelings. Be aware. It’s getting louder, the fog has lifted as the sky groans. One day. One day, I’m going to grow wings. I’m going to ascend to the high ground this so-called heaven known as ‘human relation’. Nodding, bopping my head in delight as you exclaim the sweetness of this existence once more. Not that I didn’t do this before, but if I build a rocket ship maybe I can land safely back on Earth with you. But it would be nice if I wasn’t running out of oxygen. Fast. Fast, like how the tide gets stronger and the ocean seems to pull you back a tad further every second. Her platinum blonde hair dazzles in the sunlight positively. She is the magnet, you are the metal, and I am a piece of wood.

Time carries on as I can see the faintness of the blue sky on yet another sad morning, my jigsaw falling into place a little, preparing to restart the day again. Growing immune I must be, as your poisons seem a little more sociable today. Please, I beg, I beg, I plead.

Begging is low, but it’s on discount. The only light in my life is the blazing firework that transforms your ribbons from wine to ashen water. Look, now we’re matching. Today wasn’t forecasted, terms yet to be determined, looks like I can’t conduct the usual itinerary. We rejoice around the last supper, throwing out cards and laughing wholeheartedly as we are asked for our age, our proof of sentience. The colours are bending shapes, twisting vividly, the pieces of Van Gogh bleeding as the world merely exists. People hopping on and off as we stir in our little bubble to our destination.

People. People are multidimensional. The salt is seasoning the air with a certain flavour that feels a little alien. The environment sizzles, the scorching sun it’s stove. Tears in my cables appear as I stretch, the rainbow wires shifting awkwardly inside. Days off are rare, but perhaps I can seize the chance. The moment is fleeting. Our renaissance acrylics instead huddle around a cheap sushi box and homemade sandwiches. We stand tall, orange, yellow, green. Red. You are all no longer Chesire cats, rather you are domestic.

People. I think they are vibrant now. My gaze lingers as you all perform your acrobatics under the streaming sun, your ribbons in sync, making little bows as the ends meet. Even yours, ashen and all. I long for you wish to trying making even just a knot with your material and my wire. In that moment it seems as if God lends a generous hand and shoves me off the stormy rock I was standing on onto the sewing machine where your ribbons come together. The electric tide crashes gently with no moon in sight, the waves sweeping up your remaining ash too. Do you think I’d cause a fire if I let mine join them?

I don’t care about people anymore. I run, run like your electricity into your waters in nothing but my underwear, only to discover that a knot, a small knot wraps around you all. A dead jellyfish sleeps gently near my feet, and I smile. Your ribbons fight their way into my sockets, blue colours splashing as they claim me as one. Understanding is what we, I, always lacked. It was the strongest piece of knowledge I overlooked. I get it now, I’m not an alien, nor a Martian, but instead the astronaut. I pull my parachute as I safely land next to you, smiling at the peach sky, watching as we have been carefully woven into one, into smiles, into friends. Maybe this time I’ll get to know that peach blush on you all, as you wrap me in decorative paper, sealed with a royal blue ribbon, dancing together as the reflection swallows us whole, the stars in our teeth twinkling as we shine together.

[whentherewerebicycles]

2023 in review

2023 was a challenging year but it also brought a lot of joy and positive change. I spent almost 6 out of 12 months of this year pregnant which is kind of weird to think about. here are 10 things, good and bad, that happened to me in 2023:

I hit rock bottom with my horrible job and realized I had to get the fuck out. I think I was pretty depressed/not myself for most of last winter and it was almost completely because of that job (and the sense of lost identity and purpose that came with changing careers). I learned some important things about myself though! namely that I am miserable in easy meaningless jobs that ask absolutely nothing of me and that it’s not worth it to me to make a lot of $$ if my day-to-day work existence is so empty. also I just really, really love working in an university and I missed that kind of work environment (dysfunctional as it can be!) so intensely when I stepped out of it for a while.

my best friend moved to San Francisco (a very easy, very cheap flight from Seattle) and I got to see her SO much, at least once a month and sometimes twice a month. god what a source of incredible, incredible joy that was, especially during the bleak times of Bad Job Despair. AND THEN SHE MOVED HERE OVER THE SUMMER!!!!!! I know our time of living in the same place is probably limited (they are very far from family and about to have a baby) but it is so wonderful to have for now and I feel so so grateful that we will be on maternity leave and learning how to take care of newborns together. I feel like we will keep each other sane, and also I think have a lot of fun in the process.

I started cooking in earnest!!!!! at the start of 2023 I was not a confident cook at all and it took me forever to make even simple things. but this year I made 105 new recipes and became someone who genuinely enjoys cooking as a hobby. I look at recipe blogs for fun now and I get really into meal planning and I find it kinda therapeutic to spend time preparing delicious healthy meals. this is my proudest accomplishment of 2023 because I really intentionally set goals, made a plan, and spent the year successfully executing it. yay!

I went to Japan and Korea with my mom and we had SUCH a good time. it was so fun to see her with her best friend (I’ve never seen my mom with a true BFF before!!) and it was just one of those trips I think we will both remember forever. it made me want to try to travel more with her—no idea how to make that happen with a baby but I’m determined!

I got a new job :) it was truly Dream Job for the first few blissful months and it’s still really, really, really good, just about to get a little more complicated with some internal reorganizations. on the whole though it’s been SUCH a positive experience. I love my team, I really like all the people I’ve met, and I enjoy going to work every day. the one thing missing is that I really, really want to teach and haven’t yet worked out a way to do that. but I am hopeful that I can get there in the next year or two, and then it really might be Dream Job for the long haul.

I spent many months trying to get pregnant. my path was a lot shorter and a lot easier than many people I know (I got pregnant in six total IUI cycles), but lord it also wiped out my savings and then some, and I found the process itself to be joyless and emotionally pretty excruciating. I felt really bad about my body and my gender and my self! it sucked! I don’t want to go into it further just know that I kinda hated it!

I lost my first pregnancy :( I don’t have to relive it here I’ve already processed it aloud so many times but it was one of the harder experiences of my adult life, and I think was made much more difficult by the fact that my SIL was pregnant on almost the exact same timeline, so I watched her live every happy exciting milestone while I was deep in grief. I feel like I’m in an okay place about it now and I’ve done the processing I need to, but boy that was a rough summer. the good part was that I felt so, SO loved and taken care of by my friends and family throughout the entire experience. I will remember that feeling always! but I miss my little baby and I still think about him and I’m still so sad I’ll never get to meet him.

I had a great year with my dogs. I love them so much and gosh they are LOVING life in the pacific northwest—so many trails and so much more outdoor time, especially in the summer. Pip and I did an agility class and an urban parkour class this year and it is always so fun to watch him learn/problem-solve and to bond with him that way. I am hoping to try a class with ruthie this spring (although her leash reactivity is so bad indoors that it might be challenging lol). but yeah they were the lights of my life this year and a source of so much comfort and joy, as always. nothing is better than loving and being loved by little animals who live in your house 😭 I am so lucky to have them.

I started trying to make new friends! and to push myself to be better/more proactive about sustaining and investing in existing friendships! this is going to be one of my main areas of focus/growth for 2024 but I feel like I started making strides in this direction and I want to keep working at it.

I got pregnant again :) I’m 18 weeks along and so far everything is good and baby is healthy. the first trimester was rough and I did not feel like myself!! I felt like it reactivated all of the grief and fear I hadn’t fully resolved yet from the first loss, and I had a really hard time in my own brain for many, many weeks. but the further along I get the better I feel emotionally and the more I open myself up to hope. I am out of my mind excited about being a parent aaaaaaaaaa I wish time would speed up and bring him to me faster! I love him so much already and I think all the time about what he’s going to be like. I cannot wait I cannot wait I cannot wait. and I’m SO excited for my parents too, esp my mom, who is over the moon and has been so great about making me feel loved and supported in this process even as I go it solo. aaaaa I’m going to have a BABY!!!!!! a little tiny baby!!!!!!! he’s going to live in my HOUSE!!!!!!!! I’m trying to make myself enjoy the last months of only being responsible for myself but honestly I’ve had 34 years of that and I’m ready for the next adventure. yayayayayay what a joyful note to end this year on!!!

[sashi-ya]

Hiii Sashi! It’s me again! My first step to see if Bleach is worth watching will be obviously to read your spicy stories about the characters (like any normal person would do it). Also I was afraid of using my user name in my asks back them, but I remember when you appeared on tumblr with your blog and one piece requests, and before I knew it I was already sending requests (I don’t even know if you will remember, but the first ones you did for Law and Ace, the ones about taking s/o virginity and the aphrodisiac ones, It was me in anonymous, because you looked so eager to write and I was so eager to read your writing but I thought was rude to send two requests almost at the same time), and a lot of time passed and you became a pillar and I remember of your strength every time I see a new post of yours, it is weird, because a lot of things changed in my life (for worse, I’m going through the worst things that could happen to a soul), but every time I open tumblr, you are there, and every time I think the same thing (sashi is here, she is saying something abou bleach or one piece, nice, she is writing, well, at least after all, she is here). I panic when you say you might leave tumblr, because your write is wonderful, you are wonderful, and because you won’t be there anymore, don’t know why I’m telling you this now, maybe I just want to have no regrets, but I think I just wanted you to know, you have impact in peoples lives, you are this beautiful. Thank you and sorry for telling you all this!

edit: I am beyond ashamed to say I found this in my drafts. I apparently thought I had answered and posted it BUT NO, I SAVED IT IN MY DRAFTS!!! I'M SORRY.

PLEASE DO READ MY BYAKUYA AND AIZEN ONES ABOVE ALL. now, kdjsfkfjsd if you end up watching bleach because of my fics I will feel the proudest mf ever!!! KUBO COME SEE THIS PLS!!

omg. OMG. I owe you absolutely ALL my success in here BECAUSE THOSE 2 REQUESTS (BELIEVE ME I REMEMBER THEM TOO WELL) were the ones that put a spotlight on my blog and made me gain A LOT of followers. Thanks to those two fics -that I still get daily notif of- I felt like I wanted to keep going!! I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL!!!! 😭😭💖💖💖

There was one thing I wanted to do when I started posting, and it was to give people what I didn't have myself: to know someone is there, for you and to make at least the people that read a little happier. And believe me... you have made me tear up a little... thank you, thank you thank you... Believe me I am here, and I'll always be here for you. Do not say sorry for telling me this, it is for me the best thing I've heard about my blog. It's all worth it.

you are wonderful, and just as you said "you have impact on peoples lives". You did the same for me. for real... thank u 💖🥺

[here2bbtstrash]

same as moni here, I’ll try not to list your whole blog🥴🤣

First of all my man, the most emotionally mature fratboy king, the loml The Spins jk💘💘 we love him and may we all manifest him in our lives🕯️🕯️

Then we have TSOYB 😍💘 honestly I think you could post this as a book, it is sooooo good and one of my comfort fics😭 the way you wrote this jimin is a true dream and I’ll be forever grateful for him!!!💜💜

Guys. DEEP. END. NAMJOON. !!!!!!!! If this isn’t one of your faves, why are you even on tumblr??? Be real!! 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 it’s a monthly re-read iykwim👀🤪❤️‍🔥

One of the best 3somes in fucking tumblr Two in One 🤤🤤 is it the crazy smut? Is it the jihope pairing?? Idk but whoa goooodddd shittttt and while we’re at it, Compromise deserves to be here bc twilight inspired taekookxreader 3some? Sorry not sorry but you fried my brain with that one, I had to put it here!! 🤤🤤🔥

Last and deffffff not least, LDOMLT💜💜 (I’m not demanding updates or pressuring you to do it or anything and I’m sorry I’m advance if it comes out like that🥺) not only I love this series with my whole heart and it’s one of my faves, but it’s how I got to know your blog! 🥹💜And also the baby star candy that jk is in here has me in a chokehold and and and I’ll stop bc we’re not here to ramble about him lmaooo

I can’t choose one!!! Deal with it!! And that’s on you!! bc you’re too good of a writer!! Ilyyy 💜💜💜💜💜

JAZ WHEIUFHSJDKFDFG THIS IS SO SWEET I DO NOT DESERVE YOU 🥺

you named so many of the works i'm proudest of 🙈 AND THEN THROWING COMPROMISE IN THERE IS CRAZY LMAOOOOO that is the definition of a crack fic and i'm amazed anyone enjoyed it because legit what was i on when i wrote that jskdfhdfjgldf 💀

i adore you so much and i so deeply appreciate you taking the time to write something so thorough and kind!!!!! you're an angel fr 🥰

inquiring minds want 2 know: what's your favorite story of mine? 🎤

[karumaitsu]

Hey in that matsuzo comic you did a while back what did it actually mean?? I’m so dumb bro you gotta help me it’s driving me crazy

(Also I love your art u is a treat) xx

I’m glad I finally got an ask like this because I’ve been needing an excuse to dump my original vision for the blog since I don’t think I will continue anytime soon

So, here’s an unplanned stream of consciousness explanation for Karumaitsu:

Before I go off and forget the question entirely, the basic of the blog is that during a review (the sandwich one) Karamatsu unwillingly becomes a witness to a crime (I was thinking a murder of some kind) and the culprit starts to stalk Kara and generally harasses and threatens him. Though he tries to deal with it quietly and by himself, Osomatsu gets involved and the two find a way to deal with the stalking permanently. The person in the first post is actually Osomatsu, and although I never really worked out the kinks, I was planning on the ending to be Kara and Oso luring the stalker to a secluded area to fatally confront him.

The reviews, asks, and little events all take place in the past. In my head all of the reviews and ask responses (save for some of the story related posts) are like video uploads on a YouTube channel, and my first post, the forest at night, is the latest upload. I wanted to try and give the effect of someone seeing that, wondering what the hell happened, and then going through the entire channel’s uploads to see what led up to that point.

My basic premise was to take a gag that I felt was a good enough hook to turn some heads and separate myself from other blogs. I went with food reviews because I had a lot of art/joke au(?) versions of the boys surrounding food, and also I find the absurdity of Karamatsu (my favorite) making food reviews in some broke ass car on the side of the road somewhere (Plus, Karumaitsu just sounds nice to me). I wanted to add a overarching story and horror/thriller twist to the premise, which could be a way to make the blog a little more interesting for anyone who might come across it, and keep me from getting bored and having it go the way of my previous ask blogs (which ultimately didn’t work out lmao)

If I’m honest, I think a combination of graduating high school and my waning interest in Tumblr/Osomatsu-San really killed my desire to continue with the blog. I also have a nasty habit of waiting a long ass time to start a project I’m unsure of, and I think if I had jumped on the project sooner, I would have finished it. I had it all planned out and I only had about 5-6 reviews left before concluding the story altogether. I also get impatient, so I feel my execution was off. If I were to go back, I would remake the sandwich review make it more easy to understand what happened (not too easy, but more than what I had). You’re not dumb for not getting it Anon, I just didn’t feel like I stuck the landing.

I’ve wanted to revive the blog multiple times over the years but it never seemed like a good time, and a lot of the work I do now is focused less on fan art but my own oc story Hexcode (which this blog has helped me work out the kinks in, so I’m greatful) but Tumblr is really bad when it comes to oc work which is why I’ve essentially abandoned it. I do have an idea for another horror/murder mystery au with a Flowershop!Kara, I have some doodles and it’s some of the few Oso-related art I want to make these days. However I know myself well enough to know that a blog, especially on Tumblr will prolly be short lived, especially since the fandom just isn’t what it used to be, and I’m certainly not the super fan I was back then.

I’ve rambled far too long already but I do really want to thank everyone who supported this blog while it was active, this was by far my biggest and fastest growing blog which I’m still shocked about. Specific shoutout to @taramatsu-san for not only contributing art but overall just being a really neat and supportive person. We don’t talk too much anymore but if you see this you’re valid!! If anyone is still interested in the stuff I’m working on now, I’m most active on Instagram and like I said earlier most of my work is just oc stuff now, so if you’re not interested it’s no worry. Maybe I’ll come back to this concept someday, but for now I feel it’s best to leave it as is.

I probably won’t see any replies or asks, I rarely go on Tumblr anymore but feel free to message me on Instagram, Twitter, or even discord, my handle is Bodyshot#2845. See ya later alligators 👌

[alystraea]

I just need to say that (1) your work is absolutely amazing and beautiful and (2) I’ve seen the Míriel piece before but this is the first time I’ve seen it with color, and it is STUNNING. There’s so much going on in the background, but it’s not cluttered at all, and the lines flow beautifully. The entire piece looks like it’s colored with light filtered through water. Needless to say, I’m a fan and I’ll be working my way through the rest of your art blog very happily!

Thank you so much @erynalasse! I loved working on the Miriel piece and it'll always be one of the pieces I'm proudest of. I'm grateful to Turelinda for commissioning it for her album.

[mxigo]

camgirl | chapter 1

synopsis: reader meets the gang’s old friend Eren, and the following night she receives rather interesting donation messages from jaegerbomb139.

warnings: drinking, female masturbation, camming, squirting, praise kink (female receiving)

word count: 2.9k

author’s note: anotha one. honestly i’m just itching to try and get to the good stuff because set up and the beginning is always so draining to me :’). please let me know if there is anything that i need to add/change/improve on.

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI, 18+ CONTENT. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IF YOU INTERACT AND ARE UNDERAGE OR YOU DO NOT HAVE YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

To be completely honest, a house party is the last place you want to be right now. Drunk college students continue to bump into you as you make your way through the living room towards the back porch to try and find Sasha. It was late and you had to get up early to go to complete a paper due for your Financial Accounting class that was due the day after, and you didn’t want to put it off until the night before like you typically do. While you could, it would eat up the time that you could use for camming, and you needed the money so tomorrow morning it is.

Only a small handful of people knew about your second job, and you’d like to keep it that way. Only Sasha and Mikasa knew, and Mikasa only knew because Sasha let it slip to her one night while the three of you were hanging out together. It hadn’t been one of your proudest moments while Mikasa stared at you stunned, but you knew not because of what you were doing, but because she couldn’t believe that you went ahead and started up while still technically being a virgin. The two of them supported you wholeheartedly, and you couldn’t be anymore grateful for the friends that you have.

You spot Mikasa and Sasha circling around the kitchen table with a couple of their other friends, namely Jean, Connie, Armin, and another man with a bun that could be none other than Eren. While you have met the first three multiple times and have even hung out with Jean separately before, you have never actually met the elusive Eren Jaeger. You knew of him from stories that the five of them have told you from their high school days, but the boy has been out west with his half-brother straight after high school, and has only recently been back home. You take a moment to take him in, and even from so far away, you could tell that he was attractive, extremely attractive. He’s wearing a grey short sleeve shirt that showed off an impressive array of tattoos up and down both arms. His dark hair is tied back into a low bun, and he had a soft smile as Armin is talking about something to the rest of them and it strikes you at just how jaw dropping he was; it made you nervous.

Sasha’s eyes flit up to find your own and a smile breaks out on her face as you draw near. The rest of the table's attention breaks away from conversation as they focus on you walking up to them. Eren’s eyes leave Armin to meet your own, and your heart skips a beat when you take in the rich green and blue irises.

“Took you long enough to find us! Armin was getting worried that you had gotten lost,” Sasha teases and Armin bawks at her.

“I did not,” he defends, but still a slight red hue dusts his cheeks. A giggle leaves you and you lean against the side of Jean’s chair. Armin leans forward and turns slightly towards Eren at his right.

“Eren, this is Y/N, she goes to school with us,” he starts and turns to you, “Y/N, this is Eren.” You look over to him and give a soft smile.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. These goons never shut up about you, especially Jean. Although I suspect it’s because he’s had a man crush on you since y’all were in high school,” you teased, and Jean elbows you in the side in retaliation.

“Eh, don’t try to be cute now.” Jean looks over at you annoyed, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Oh stop it, you love me,” you say, looking down at him.

“In your dreams,” Jean smirks and you turn back to Eren. He sits there with an indiscernible look while he watches the two of you interact.

“Nice to meet you,” he acknowledges with a slight nod of his head before picking up the Ultra that sits in front of him and taking a long pull from it. For some unknown reason, the action sends a pang of disappointment through you. From watching him interact with his friends, you were expecting a warmer welcome, but you guess you really shouldn’t be surprised since these are the people that he’s known for years. You’ll just have to wait and see.

“Well, I’d love to hang out longer but I actually came over to tell y’all I was leaving. I have a paper that I still need to finish for Accounting,” you announce, garnering a disappointed groan from Connie.

“But that paper’s not due for another two days. Are you sure that you can’t stay a while longer?”

“I have some other things that I need to do tomorrow night that I want to have time to do, so I’ll have to do the paper tonight and tomorrow morning to finish.”

“Like what,” he pushes, making you start to panic looking for an excuse.

“Just work stuff that they want me to look at before my next shift, but I’ll hit you guys up the next time I have some free time, alright,” you say trying to compromise before standing up off of Jean’s chair. You look at Eren one last time and smile.

“Eren, it was nice meeting you. Hopefully next time we meet I’ll be able to stay a little longer.” Eren leans back into his seat and crosses his arms while still holding his beer, a thoughtful look replacing the blank one. In an instant his eyes widen just a fraction and his face goes lax. He leans forward and rests his elbows on the table.

“Yeah absolutely. I look forward to the next time we hang out,” he says. Confusion washes over you as you try to put together why he looked at you in .such a way. You blink, then turn to say goodbye to the rest of your friends before you walk away, still thinking about the way Eren was acting.

The next day you were finally able to complete your paper in time for you to start setting up for your next stream. Although you didn’t have many guests over anyways, you didn’t have to take everything down and hide it all, but it made you feel better that even if someone was to come over unexpectedly, they wouldn’t have any idea about what you do in your free time. You had already showered and shaved in preparation for tonight, and even though you have done the same routine many nights before, you never fail to become anxious. The thought that someone you know could recognize you, or that your future husband could find out and never look at you the same again terrified you. It leaves a heavy feeling in your stomach as you undress and turn off the overhead light, flipping on the LEDs behind your bed frame to obscure your face just enough so that from a distance, you can’t really make out your face. Your camera is set on its tripod, facing your bed, and your laptop was ready with the stream screen pulled up. All you had to do was turn the stream on.

You take a breath to try and make the nerves go away, but no matter how many times you try, they never do. The stream flicks on with a red dot appearing in the top corner of your laptop, signaling that you were live. Slowly, people begin to tune in, and then start talking to you in the chat. A few ask how you are doing and how your day was, while others just simply voice their excitement for your stream. You smile softly and giggle, plopping on your bed and sitting cross legged on the sheet-clad mattress.

“Hi everyone, good evening. Yes, I’m going great, super excited for tonight for you guys,” you start, pulling one of your knees up and resting your cheek on it. One viewer jumps the gun and donates $20 immediately, which in turn opens the door for others to start sending in their own.

“Thank you all for tuning in. I love that you guys are here with me tonight,” you continue and lean over your bed to your nightstand, grabbing the small bottle of lube that you keep handy. Flipping back over onto your butt, you push yourself back against the two pillows you already have propped up against the headboard. Your legs let themselves relax, splaying open for the camera to show off your bare cunt. At this point, you kind of tune out the chat, but your eyes still flick up the laptop screen to check on it. The top of the screen keeps your biggest donation pinned, and your breath almost catches when you notice that you missed jaegerbomb139’s $100 donation. 

glad to make it. hope you’re not working yourself too hard for us. 

A small smile makes its way onto your face as you read his message. Popping open the cap, you squeeze a fair amount of the water based lube onto your index and middle fingers, slicking them up before bringing them down to your lips. 

“Thank you for the hundred dollar dono, jaegerbomb139. That’s very generous of you, but I’m fine, thank you for asking,” you answer, your fingers dragging themselves around your cunt, coating it with the lube that they carry. A small sigh leaves your mouth and your eyelids slip shut as you finally dip them inside of the lips, letting them glide along the soft skin. At another chime, your eyes flutter back open and see that jaegerbomb139 sent another donation message.

is there anyone that you think about while you get off?

You’ve never gotten a question like that before, and it confuses you. Why would a viewer care about who you think about? Wouldn’t they rather not ask and just envision themselves to help live in the fantasy?

“Uhh, no actually. I just focus on myself and what I’m feeling at the moment,” you explained, tilting your head slightly. While you can’t watch porn while you’re streaming, you’ve become accustomed to just focusing on what you’re feeling, and because of school and work all of the time, you haven’t necessarily had any time to go out and meet people. In short, it’s been a while since you’ve had anyone to think about.

Another chime.

really? there’s no one out there who’s chasing you? i find that pretty hard to believe.

A soft huff falls from your lips. Why would a viewer be concerned if you have suitors or not?

“Well, I guess it’s almost a good thing that there’s no one out there taking up my attention, or else I wouldn’t have any time for you guys,” you tease before rolling over again and picking up the blue rabbit vibrator that you always use. As an impulse decision, you bought it last year while at a sex store with one of your friends as a way to celebrate landing a new job. You know that it should’ve made you sick to your stomach to even think about using one before you’ve slept with someone, you couldn’t wait any longer. You wanted to know what it feels like. 

Taking more lube from the bottle, you go ahead and slick up the toy before bringing it down to your cunt, dragging it slowly up and down. Soft sighs leave you as you relax into the feeling of the silicone sliding against your clit. Even as you try not to think that there are people watching (real actual people), the chimes from the chat never fail to remind you, causing your face and chest to flush in embarrassment. Never in a million years did you think that you would be on full display for anyone to see, and the thought of it alone is enough to make you wonder what you did that led up to this situation. Maybe it was the decision to finally get away from your overbearing parents, or perhaps you just wanted to have a taste of what it was like to be on your own. Whatever it was, you didn’t mean to end up living paycheck to paycheck to try and stay afloat without groveling back to your parents’ feet, begging to come back home. It wasn’t an easy decision to start camming, but you’d be damned if you had to swallow your pride to go back home.

Your hand reaches over for your phone, turning on the lofi playlist that you typically use for a stream. Setting your phone back down on the bed, you go ahead and switch on the main part of the vibrator, making you inhale sharply. The pleasurable vibrations make your heart race and your eyes to slip shut again. Your breathing starts to get heavier as your head falls back onto the pillow. You scoot your butt down the bed to get comfortable and you widen your legs further as you grow increasingly turned on. You squeeze a bit more lube onto your cunt before you sink the toy into you, making you pull your bottom lip between your teeth to muffle a whimper that leaves you, your eyebrows furrowing at the feeling of the vibrator’s bulbous head pushing past your tight opening. A shaky breath escapes when it sinks fully into you, pushing against your cervix, the vibrations shaking the toy against the opening. Your head sinks further back into the pillow while your wrist starts moving the silicone toy in and out, angled up to drag along your front wall to stimulate your g-spot. Your breathing picks up speed and your eyebrows scrunch together as the pleasure begins to build low and slow in your gut.

Another chime pulls you from your focused state of mine, causing your ministrations to stutter, but you continue as you turn to look at the computer screen.

jaegerbomb139 has donated $100!

god you sound so fucking hot rn with that toy making you become a mess. i bet your face is all tight with how good it feels huh princess?

“F-fuck,” you whisper, the term of endearment sending tingles through you, and you throw your head back into the pillow once again. It’s no secret to your viewers that you have a praise kink, but for some reason when this viewer uses it, it makes a warm feeling bubble under your skin instead of making you feel dirty and gross like it normally does.

Your legs relax open even wider as your arousal grows. Soft whimpers now spill from your lips as your wrist moves faster, now accustomed to the feeling of being full from the toy. You can’t help but slowly start to envision who jaegerbomb is. You see them as a man around your age, tall, with a deep voice that sends shivers down your spine as his lips brush your ear when he whispers into it. His calloused hands roaming over every part of your body, never failing to not leave anything untouched. His warm breath ghosting over your nipples as he teases if he will take on into his mouth while his hands glide down your sides to rest on your hips. One hand slides further down past your hip, fingers gliding over your thigh to your cunt, his thumb rubbing slow, hard circles into your clit that makes you gasp for air as the intensity makes your legs shake.

You angle the vibrator even higher against your wall and the sound of your cunt so slick with arousal that the toy slides in so damn easy that you don’t even need the lube anymore. You can feel the coil low in your stomach start to tighten, causing your legs to shake and wanton moans spill from your mouth. The pleasure keeps creeping up to immense heights but it seems that you’ve plateaued; your body continuously teasing you with release as it gets so fucking close but you keep coming back down. You let out a whine of frustration as it happens a third time, but you don’t want to give up because it will be so much worse starting from square one but you don’t know how you can find what you need to push you over the edge-

Ding.

come on baby, come for me like the good girl i know you are.

And just like that, fireworks erupt throughout your body. Your back bows up off of the mattress and your mouth falls open into a silent scream. Something warm gushes past your fingers but you don’t pay mind to it, not yet. Your hand next to you is gripping the sheets so tight you’re afraid that they’ll rip. For a second you can’t hear anything as the donations pour in now that you’ve orgasmed, only the thundering of your heartbeat in your ears. After a moment, your body finally collapses back into the mattress as your breathing is still accelerated as your body tries to recover from whatever you just felt. Your eyes flutter back open and your hearing comes back to you a second later, and you notice that there’s still chiming. When you look back at the screen, you see yet another donation from jaegerbomb at the top.

see? you did so well sweetheart. now don’t forget to take care of yourself, i’d hate to hear that something happened because of how hard you worked for me.

Well, maybe you do have someone you think about while doing streams now.

[kageruna]

☆.｡.:* Iwaizumi, Akaashi, and Ushijima with an ice skater and tall!s/o .｡.:*☆

hello! have a nice day, darling! 💕 can I request iwazumi, akaashi and ushijima with s/o!ice skater and tall? please and thank you! btw, good luck with your blog! it's amazing! you can do it all. 👊🏻😔 ~anon

Warnings: None!

Genre: Fluff

Reader: Gender neutral

A/n: Hello!! I am SO SORRY this is so late TwT!!! And thank you SO MUCH for requesting!!! this is my first request 🥺 And thank you so so much for the kind words!! The fact that people like my blog is making me sob on the floor I am filled with so much happiness oh my GOD 🥺💕I hope you have a wonderful day as well!! Edit: hooo boy this one isn’t great at all i’m so so sorry for how butchered this is 😭😭

Iwaizumi Hajime

➷ this man,,,,,,,,, this gorgeous man,,,,,,,

➷ he thinks your skills as an ice skater are SO admirable 🥺

➷ when he comes to watch your practices, he would just find himself mesmerized by your performance and would honestly just stare at you

➷ he would just 👁👁 the whole time no joke

➷ he thinks you’re SO TALENTED

➷ he loves how graceful you are and how you make it seem like ice skating is the easiest thing in the world

➷ on top of that, he LOVES your height 💕

➷ he loves how it’s really easy to place a quick kiss on the side of your mouth because you guys are close to the same height

➷ he also slides his hands around your waist and cuddles you from behind with his head laid on your shoulder 😭😭 he’s just so relaxed like that it’s SO CUTE 🥺🥺🥺

➷ his random acts of affection in public are rare though so if he does initiate pda with you, make sure to enjoy it to the fullest!!!!

➷ when he’s hugging you, he can feel the way your body developed muscles from all of the training you’ve done and he loves them SO MUCH

➷ he would lightly trace over your arms, stomach, back, wherever with a small satisfied smile on his face

➷ when you see his smile you literally can’t help but cuddle him back and just be with each other for as long as you possibly can

➷ you also ADORE his muscles because i mean like come on, have you seen the scene with him arm wrestling????

➷ sometimes you find yourself mindlessly feeling his arm and it makes his face flush bright red 🥺🥺

➷ even though he might seem hesitant when you do, he loves when you do it and will really hesitantly tell you that he likes it if you’re worried you’re making him uncomfortable

➷ he loves when you come to his practices and ESPECIALLY his matches

➷ just seeing you there cheering for his team but especially him makes his heart swell with raw emotions of love and happiness

➷ he plays so well when you’re there supporting him it’s so adorable 😭😭😭

➷ he also makes sure to go to all of your performances to be the best supporter he possibly could be!!! on top of that, why on earth would he miss the love of his life’s performance in the first place??? like i said, just watching you brings so much joy to him!!! why would he miss out on something that would make you both happy beyond compare????

➷ but when it comes to regular practice, you both are extremely thankful to the other when either of you shows up 💞💞 you both know it’s hard to take time out of your day when you have to practice yourself so there’s never a time where you guys don’t feel grateful to the other

➷ honestly you guys are just filled with overwhelming love and support for each other 🥺🥺 even if iwa doesn’t act upon his feelings a lot of the time, you still know he loves you and that he’ll always be there for you <333

Akaashi Keiji

➷ he’s usually reserved and doesn’t state his true opinions all the time but with you, he can’t help but tell you how beautiful you are

➷ when you’re on the rink and doing your routines, it’s literally the most beautiful thing to akaashi

➷ he can watch you for hours on end and be the happiest man on earth

➷ the way you so effortlessly glide and do tricks that are so hard to do and make them look so easy has him in awe 🥺🥺🥺

➷ he tries to go to as many of your practices as he can but with him also being on his school’s volleyball team, it’s hard to do 😔

➷ even if he can go, sometimes bokuto would pull him away and make him put up with his shenanigans and it bums akaashi out cause he really wants to see you skate 😩😩

➷ but when he does come, ooooo boy he’s just gonna stare at you with a love struck look the whole time

➷ honestly he doesn’t know how much time has passed once he starts watching you he’s THAT enraptured 🥺

➷ even if he intended to do some of his homework while being there supporting you, he honestly can’t cause once he starts to watch you on the rink, he’ll keep watching you until practice is over not like he minds tho

➷ he LOVES how great of a skater you are 🥺🥺🥺

➷ if you’re insecure about your height, he’ll use facts and logic to make it seem like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being tall (and there isn’t!!) and make it seem like it’s the best thing in the world

➷ your height literally adds to your beauty!!! and he won’t hesitate to remind you that every single time you guys talk 💞

➷ if you love your height, then he’s gonna totally be there with you and love it just as much or even more than you 🥺🥺

➷ if you show up to his practices, he will love you to the moon and back 😭😭😭

➷ he knows that you probably have a busier schedule practicing wise than him and to be able to take the time to come and watch him fills him with such a warm feeling, he’ll have the softest smile on his face 🥺💞

➷ you both always try to be at each other’s games/performances and having one of you guys in the stands cheering for the other fills both of you with incredible love 🥰🥰🥰🥰

➷ it’s so so sweet how loving this man is, you honestly can’t believe you’re able to date him and be in such a loving relationship 💕💕💕

Ushijima Wakatoshi

➷ he admires you SO MUCH for being able to make ice skating look so incredibly easy

➷ yes his face would probably still stay stoic when he’s complimenting you but his words are enough to convey how much he admires you 🥺

➷ even though he doesn’t have personal experience with ice skating, he knows how hard it is

➷ and to make it look like it’s the easiest thing in the world??? wow now that’s something to admire

➷ he won’t hesitate to compliment how good you look and how incredible you are

➷ even if you’re literally just walking next to him on your way to your respective practices, he’ll just randomly say how beautiful you are

➷ it makes your heart beat spike and cause you to blush a furious red all the time without fail 🥺🥺🥺

➷ you try to get back at him and compliment him on his volleyball skills but he usually just replies with a quick thank you and a little itty bitty smile on his face so in the end, he makes YOU the flustered one, not him 😔😔😔

➷ in terms of practicing, he’ll make sure you have good habits and to be as healthy as possible

➷ he’ll make sure you’re taking care of yourself so that you can achieve the best possible results at your practices and performances (like i don’t know if this is canon or not but he has the best habits an athlete can have!!! of course he’s gonna also encourage you to be as healthy as possible 🥺)

➷ plus, if you’re in the best condition and are literally killing it on the rink, then he can watch you do your best and be so proud and watch you with such a fond little smile on his face 🥺🥺

➷ he has a soft spot for your height because he can so easily lean onto you or hug you and be in the perfect spot which is SO comfortable for him

➷ he probably prefers taller people anyways so he’s so happy with you 😌

➷ honestly, he probably secretly wants you to come to his practices because you can watch him do the best at the thing he’s good at but the bastard coach would probably not let people watch practices and you’re also busy with your own practice 😔😔😔

➷ on top of that though, he probably really really really wants to see your practices but he simply doesn’t have time to because he has practice all the time and he’s literally on the Youth Japan team as well (i feel like people forget that he’s LITERALLY REPRESENTING THE COUNTRY WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE)

➷ you guys usually only watch each other during games/performances which is a huge bummer but you guys make the best of those times and cherish it to the fullest 🥺🥺🥺

➷ overall, i think he would absolutely adore you and would be the proudest boyfriend even if he doesn’t show it as much as other people can 💞💞 you’re so lucky you have this man as a boyfriend i’m jealous 😔

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading ♡

[kyber-crystal]

marvelinsanity’s forever follows

okAy so i was originally going to do this at the end of december but. i got lazy and distracted (idek how that works lmao) and ended up forgetting ab it. but here are some of the people that helped make quarantine a little less shitty and a little more bearable—thank you for giving me a reason to get up in the morning. 

i’m sorry i haven’t been very active lately and how i’ve been kind of distant. things have been rough and i haven’t written anything solid in weeks and to those anons waiting for their requests to be done, i’m sorry :( i hope you’ll understand. 

2020 came with many ups and downs and more late night depression sessions than i’d like to admit—it hasn’t gotten any easier this year—but i wouldn’t change anything at all. among all of my accomplishments i’m proudest of the fact that i finally found myself, made many new friends, and discovered what i was truly passionate about—writing.

to be honest, i never thought i’d get to where i am now but i’m so grateful that i’m here. taking some time out of my day to lose myself in my imagination and actually bring those ideas to life has to have been one of the best decisions i’ve made. i seriously don’t know where i’d be if it wasn’t for each and every single one of you i’ve had the privilege of having on this (rather chaotic) little blog of mine.

special mentions to my star wars simp nation people for becoming my found family. i love you all more than you know. thank u for putting up with my endless shitposting LOL @obirain @rentskenobi @bo-kryze @karasong @fettymercury @xwingsandohs @etherealsanakin @meshlababy and to @prequelsnet and everyone on it for being so welcoming and kind no matter what <3

new mutuals! @goldensatine @cafeobiwan @labyrinth-runner @myriadimagines @honeyedfloral you were all unexpected blessings but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i hope we can grow closer & here’s to many more pleasant memories in 2021!! i appreciate yall a lot. really : ‘)

to my oldest mutual and favorite swiftie @speechlessxx i’ve been following you for AGES and i can’t believe i’ve been following you for almost a year—thank you for being my older sister, mentor, and best friend and dog mom all rolled into one. i don’t know where i’d be without you now because you literally were the one who inspired me to start writing and KEEP writing. OH also thank u for screaming over taylor w me

@arkofblake jess. ur literally the best person ever and i’m so happy that i found someone who matched my energy perfectly bc. i can fangirl over edits with you and not worry about being judged. thank u for ur hydration reminders too <3 ur super swag fam

more lovely people i would love to write an entire essay on but can’t because i’d break my hands doing so, quite literally asdfasdf @padawanlost @ewanmcgregors @padmeamidela @anakin-danvers @dindjarindiaries @chokemeanakin @stardust-kenobi @starryeyedstories @kelieah @guacas @lilbabycee @johnboyuga @margeaery @ahskatano @benjiiskenobi @jlhpotters @badbctch @obaby-wan @dearspacepirates @sithdust @marvel-dameron @ohhellokenobi @beskar-tano @duskholland @outerims @arynfrompogonia @wecallhimbrowneyess @yeinnefer @anakinswhore @alideetoo

to my international twin @propertyofdindjarin i love u and i’m grateful for all our chaotic facetime calls that we have and for the fact that you’re such a supportive beta reader. you never fail to put a smile on my face whenever we talk and it makes me feel so good knowing i can always come to you for advice. i don’t know how the hell you do it but literally every time we’re talking i get huge bursts of inspo—thank you SO much for that you have no idea how many times you’ve prevented me from falling into a permanent slump.

and last but most CERTAINLY not least. @poesflygirl holy crap where do i even begin. words cannot explain how grateful i am to have met you. i don’t know what i even did to deserve someone as wonderful as you but i’m so so so so glad you came into my life, took one look at me, and decided, “yup, i’m sticking with her” despite the fact that i was far from what a typical, ‘normal’ friend might’ve looked like to you. it feels like we’ve known each other for years even though our five month friendiversary literally just passed??? what??? it’s crazy how time flies. 

thank you so so so so so much to all 1.2k of you who decided to stay with me for so long. thank you endlessly for putting up with my bullshit and all my shitposting and my typically chaotic self. i love you all so so much 

[babiemingoo]

hello lomls

I bet you’re all sick of all these random text blocks I always post lol but I felt like this specific statement? thought? was something that i’ve wanted to share for a while but I kept telling myself that if I just pushed on I wouldn’t have to but ~obviously~ this is not the case. so I shall just lay it all out there with all my thoughts regarding this blog and more specifically, enmity.  this ended up being super long so I apologize in advance. i’ll put it under the cut for all of you.

to put it frankly, there is a specific reason as to why I haven’t written or posted enmity, or anything, in months. brotherhood/enmity used to be my proudest work and it was the thing I enjoyed posting the most, however with where the story is at right now I just have 0 inspiration for it (even though I have the entire story planned already) and i’m more than aware that 90% of people who visit my blog are only here for enmity. and that’s okay! but having so much pressure on me to provide this one story that I really can’t find the motivation for me to write, has turned into me literally getting anxiety whenever I come onto tumblr. i’m sure it’ll sound stupid to some of you but just thinking about enmity takes a toll on my mental health and I avoid it at all costs, which is a big reason as to why I haven’t posted it and have avoided this blog for so long. in addition to that, i’ve still been writing here and there. I have things that of course I would love to post and share. but i’m sure at this point if I were to post something that wasn’t enmity, someone would reply or send an ask like “where’s enmity?” and I get it!!! it’s what makes my blog (somewhat lol) relevant and it’s what people love and I am so so so so so grateful for that. but even without me posting anything else, people have still sent messages and asks complaining about me not posting enmity (as well as really nice ones, dont worry I see you and I appreciate all the sweet words! <3), and I don’t want to take my time writing something that I love just to get feedback that asks about something that makes me hate this blog. so, that’s why I haven’t posted anything; because I know that someone will say something about it not being enmity, and it’d really hurt me after all the time i’ve spent dedicated to another piece of writing. of course, with addition to the toll this takes on me, I have other things going on at home. I personally am not one to share things going on in my personal life on the internet, so i’m going to be somewhat vague, but this is my last semester of college so school is more important to me now than ever. i also now have three jobs to try and stay afloat with the cutbacks the pandemic has caused, and i’m getting kicked out of my apartment in a couple of months. it’s a lot going on and me getting stressed out over a blog isn’t something that I can really be doing right now. so, now it really comes down to wtf am I gonna do with this blog. obviously i’ve been leaving it to sit for a while, hoping that once everything in my life settles down I can come back here because I really do love all of you and sharing my writing here with you. but still, every day someone finds brotherhood and enmity and starts to read, and even though I am SO grateful that people still somehow find this fic of mine and read and love it, I feel so so so horrible because they read for hours and then come to find out that I never finished it. I don’t want to lead people into dead ends anymore because I know the feeling of wanting to know the end of something and it sucks. tl;dr - I can’t handle the pressure of writing enmity anymore. a lot of stuff is going on in my life and adding that on isn’t helping. but I know that it would suck to post things I write and have people be disappointed that it’s not enmity. furthermore, people are still finding enmity and I feel horrible that it’s not finished. so, I really only have three options I can think of: 1. I delete this entire blog. this is what i’m leaning towards right now, because then everything gets erased and no one else has anymore expectations that I can’t live up to. people no longer will find enmity and be disappointed with the fact that it isn’t done. in my opinion this is the best option. 2. I keep the blog, but delete brotherhood and enmity. i’m sure this isn’t ideal either lol but the root of me avoiding this blog really is enmity. so, if it’s gone, maybe I could be just a tad bit more active here, or at least look forward to coming back once my life is more put together.  3. I keep doing what I’ve been doing and everyone just sits around and hopes that maybe i’ll come back? of course I want to come back and had every intention to do so, but with enmity up I can’t guarantee it, and I would still feel like shit knowing that people are waiting. so, personally this is my least favorite option because I feel like it gives you guys the short end of the stick, but technically it’s still an option. i’m so sorry that this got so long, but this is a lot that i’ve been feeling for a long long time and I don’t want to keep everyone in the dark anymore. honestly I feel horrible for how far I allowed this to go. but I hope you all understand that there were never any bad intentions and again i’m so sorry for being annoying. I appreciate you guys so much for all the love i’ve gotten on this blog and the patience you’ve shown me. I love you all so so so so so much.

[fuukablogs]

Reflecting on my SQA Higher Portfolio Piece

hi blog! for today's entry I'm going to reflect on some of my favourite/least favourite parts of my higher folio that i blogged in my last post! there were lots of bits i was super proud of and parts i don't like as much... so today I'm going to reread the whole thing and share my thoughts! enjoy!

Title: Portrait of a Single Blur

i... don't know what i meant by that. i think i must have thought i sounded quite profound but honestly i have no clue what i was on about. now i would have changed it to something like

Puddle of a Machine ooo yes i like this one

Paragraph 1: Space is vast, space is endless possibilities, but I don’t think I’d be too surprised if one day the government were to leak out the existence of aliens. I’d be unfazed. I’ve known an alien for a long time. Our memories are freshly sharpened and sketched in an HB pencil. We have been packaged together and labelled with one thousand little fragments, as you lose your mind trying to piece us together, realising every piece is a grey corner. You could put in a box of loneliness, I, we, would be all too familiar with it anyway.

i liked that i opened with a space metaphor that i reference throughout! space means a lot to me and the running theme was a nice touch. it sounds a bit edgy though but that's what I was going for. The use of "we" was quite nice too, I was going for a coping mechanism for the main character, that they said "we" to seem like they aren't alone but i changed my mind later in the story. it seemed to stick though!

Paragraph 2: My eyes flicker open, and I hit play on my 50s toned show renowned as a life. Instantaneously my world brightens. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Fog. Fog shrouds my window in the dreary morn. It’s simple, I ponder to myself, piercing a delicate pair of silver earrings through my lobes, before my mother gives me a familiar gentle kiss goodbye. I glance at her peach blush before I depart.

honestly i think this is the weakest paragraph. I don't sound too optimistic about myself but this is why i wanted to practice reflecting on my work! there's nothing in the paragraph that really makes me think that the writing is exceptional. i like the juxtapositions/contrasts (quite subtle though) butttttt that's where it stops.

Paragraph 3: People are themselves. Love is rationed these days, so I see why they’d be that way. The opera house. Where wit is your sword and likeability your shield. But what is a soldier to do facing a steel-worn army with their proudest blade? Fight? Don’t make me laugh. Be grateful, voices echo, though no mouths are in motion. I’m not tunnel visioned, I tell myself for the 5th time today, I just like gazing at the approaching moon engulfed by the night sky. Peering up from my recent calculus I eavesdrop on my peer’s worrisome woes of teenage angst once more. People. They think they are vibrant. Still, I notice the faint roses on your cheeks, and your pearl smile as your mind and lips meander, dripping buoyantly with adorations for that girl you’ve known for a few years. I paint jealousy green, not for the longing of being that wonder of an existence you vision standing with, but for the burgundy ribbon you dance out towards her while the wires are plugged into my spinal cord.

NOW THIS is where it gets good. lots to say about para3. I like the opening especially, and how it's repeated later at the start of other paragraphs. It's quite a powerful short sentence!! "Love is rationed" was a really nice way of trying to convey my feelings at the time. The metaphor of the opera house is again just a nice way of putting down how I felt. It feels very theatrical and dramatic which is what I was trying to convey. My feelings on the situation at the time felt very dramatic for me, I felt as if I was overreacting to everything at school, so naturally for me, my proudest thing was my academics and I felt not as much of a need to be social. "They think they are vibrant" feels like it's got so much detest behind it, because quite frankly at the time, I felt disgusted that others went on about tiny problems, while the same people had outcasted me and put me in a really dark place mentally.

For a slightly longer analysis on the ribbon metaphor! I refer to myself as having wires because to plug them in they have to be the perfect fit, working fine, and not broken. However I viewed everyone else as having ribbons because they are silky smooth, vibrant, and easy to tie. Putting these together, ribbons and wires were a metaphor for the ability to socialise and connect with other people. I found it very difficult to fit in and do the right thing, so wires were how I perceived my ability to be social. However it looked easy, fun, and beautiful for everyone else.

Paragraph4: Connection is for non-orientated. For a long time, I enjoyed being aware of my surrounding environment until I noticed the tide beginning to sweep you away, your waters full of jellyfish. The colour is beginning to bleed as you slowly, slowly, slowly gravitate towards your moon while I am on Mars. I am a Martian. A Martian drifting through the vastness. But trying to characterise myself with mere words is like trying to fit a slim blazer on me while I have broad shoulders. I use your green and red paint for illustrating my education, regaining personal validation as seven As stand tall on the refined mail. Be focused, the voices begin to raise, as the casual noise is a little more welcoming in my ears. I sit idly, gazing, gazing at nothing, gazing at you all. Ribbons are red snakes, piercing me with their venom, but the cables flowing out to you are now appearing on my wrists, searching for a USB port. Please, lend me your port, let me plead on my knees for forgiveness.

jumping straight to one of my favourite bits, "your waters full of jellyfish." I wanted to emphasise the fact that reconnecting with this person while they were in a relationship made me anxious that I was trying to be a homewrecker. I was anxious of what his girlfriend would think of me, and this links to the sting of the jellyfish. However, jellyfish are beautiful, like their relationship at the time, and I was to scared to disturb the peace. Again with the space metaphors, Martian symbolises the fact that I didn't feel human in comparison to everyone else. "Gazing at nothing, gazing at you all," links to how I thought these relationships others were forming was empty. I had the ideaology at the time of "I will see no one here again after high school" and that amounted in the word "nothing" being a good fit. I feel the rest I have already explained!

Paragraph 5: Forgiveness is a weak man’s word. It’s a cry for help, an act of desperation. I never cared about being stable, as my cables just wanted to loosen themselves from my strict criteria of academia. But my pencil is becoming blunt. I smile softly as you all laugh in the face of myself, threat. I know it’s me, I’m the problem that no calculator can solve. Be considerate, be conscious of their feelings. Be aware. It’s getting louder, the fog has lifted as the sky groans. One day. One day, I’m going to grow wings. I’m going to ascend to the high ground this so-called heaven known as ‘human relation’. Nodding, bopping my head in delight as you exclaim the sweetness of this existence once more. Not that I didn’t do this before, but if I build a rocket ship maybe I can land safely back on Earth with you. But it would be nice if I wasn’t running out of oxygen. Fast. Fast, like how the tide gets stronger and the ocean seems to pull you back a tad further every second. Her platinum blonde hair dazzles in the sunlight positively. She is the magnet, you are the metal, and I am a piece of wood.

I like the link back to the previous paragraph, with the huge contrast in character. I think the writing here sounds really robotic, which I usually wouldn't be a fan of but it's quite fitting considering the character.

Now for the saving grace of the paragraph, my favourite piece of writing in the whole text. "She is the magnet, you are the metal, and I am a piece of wood."

Magnet: I believed that the girl was starting to control my friend, and pulling him in and away from me on purpose. She wasn't a good person and that was out of my control, so she was the magnet.

Metal: I considered my friend to be the metal as he was so attracted to his magnet. He seemingly didn't care about the consequences of getting reeled in, and even if he didn't want it he couldn't stop himself.

Wood: Just as wood is a pretty worthless material, so too did I view myself as insignificant. Also keen to note that I didn't like the girl he was dating at all, and magnets and wood are incompatible.

Also!! Metal is a great conductor of electricity, aka a metaphor for social skills and relationships. Metal can conduct electricity well, as I viewed my friend as being better off socially than me. However wood can only burn when met with electricity, linking to the fact of how scared I was to connect with others.

going to pause here for now, as this has been sat in my drafts and the full analysis is too big for one part. come back for pt2!

from, soph :3

[random-mha-thoughts]

Smile (Shinsou x Reader)

Pairing: Shinsou x Reader

For anon (request)

Genre: Slight angst to fluff

Summary: Shinsou has a crush on someone in 1-B and works up the courage to ask them on a date.

Tags: @wwwwyamd​ @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

Word count: 1,680

a/n: Ah, I missed writing for my tired purple boy. I just miss him in general, when I was searching for fanarts to post, I really was like “Damn I really miss Shinsou.”  How many of you agree?

So this is a request that some of you have seen already, but I don’t quite want to spoil anything for anyone who’s new, so I’ll post it at the end.  I'm glad I was able to extend this longer than I was planning, because I really only had just the one scene from the request in mind vividly and the rest I wrote as I went along.

I have 3 more requests, but I'm gonna take a break from them so I can write some of my own original ideas before starting those up again, so look forward to that!  Enjoy this one!

(Also gender neutral pronouns they/them coming through!)

Buy me a coffee?

Shinsou first saw his crush at the beginning of the first semester.  He was taken by their quirk, a pretty flashy light quirk.  From what he overheard while they were telling their 1-B friend - he was totally not stalking, Shinsou doesn't stalk people - they can control the color of the light to do different things.

"Red light is a heat laser, green light heals, yellow warms things, blue cools things," they explained, the proudest smile on their face.  "I'd say it's pretty versatile.  And the more saturated the colors are, the more powerful they work!"

Shinsou was already intrigued by their quirk, but seeing their face light up was like icing on an already delicious cake.  The sparkle in their hazel eyes, adorably smaller form that's the right right height for him to kiss their head, a smile he already decided he wanted to protect.  If only he could go over there and ask them to tell him more about their quirk, but he was afraid that his intimidating figure would scare them away.  Discouraged, he walked back to his own class to mope.  Crushes and him never worked out in the past anyway; once they found out about his quirk, they would either run for the hills or try to abuse him.

However, he still longed to be with them.  He found himself naturally searching through a crowd to find them.  Each time, they would have the most brilliant smile on their face as they chatted with their friends.  It always put a smile on Shinsou's face that they were happy being in the company of good friends.  More and more, he found himself craving them to smile at something he said, to pat their head to greet them, just to hold them in his arms for a warm hug.  It became less of a want and more of a need, but he held himself back for his heart's sake.

After the Sports Festival came and went, Shinsou had a change of heart.  He's not a villain, he will only appear that way if he comes off like that.  He won't let his quirk define him, and he'll make a much more pleasant impression so they wouldn't think of him as dark.  He took the opportunity to work on himself as a person, gain more confidence in himself so he can put his best foot forward.  He's won't let himself lack in any department, he'll only show the best parts of himself and present himself to them in a new-and-improved form.

After training with Aizawa for a while - not to mention bulking up quite a bit to improve his chances - Shinsou decides on the right time to face them.  The purple haired boy practically shakes with anticipation the entire day.  During his last class, he rehearses the words he's wanted to say since he first saw them.

"You're such a bright, shining person.  To me, you stand out among everyone else.  I'd like to get to know you better, would you mind going out with me?"

He second guesses every word and intonation, convinced that even the slightest error would throw the entire mood off and send the whole thing crashing down.  He won't let that happen.

The final bell rings and Shinsou's practically the first person to jump from him seat, throw his belongings haphazardly into his bag, and rush out the door of the school building.  Stationing himself at a nearby bench, he waits for them to come out, tapping his foot impatiently while still trying to look casual shoving his hands in his pockets.

Scanning the crowd of exiting students like a human radar, he searches for that smile he adores.  His heart practically beats out of his chest when he locks onto them, homing in on them without paying any mind to the surrounding students.  He collects himself and breathes, keeping in step behind them.  They're talking to a friend of their's, going on about hero training and homework.  He could listen to them talk indefinitely if he wanted, but then he wouldn't have the chance to confess his feelings.

Just you practiced big guy, go on.  Do it for that precious smile.  Shinsou gathers his wits and approaches just a bit closer.  Do I say "hey?'" "Hi?"  "Yo?"  Damn it, just do what's natural!  Calm down!  He bites the bullet.  "Hey."  He's proud that it sounds casual enough.

The apple of his eye turns around curiously, their smile just faltering slightly from their conversation with their friend.

Take it away big guy.  "Hey, I noticed you around.  I think you're-"

It's then he notices.  The way their eyes widen, the smile drops completely from their face, their skin turns pale, and Shinsou isn't sure why.  He's sure he didn't say anything wrong, he's barely said anything.  "Is-"

They let out a yelp and hide behind their friend, squeezing their eyes shut and quivering.  Beyond bewilderment, Shinsou's chest hurts as his world darkens.  The one person he wanted to smile at him and lighten his life plunged him into despairing blackness.  All his fear of people hating him for his quirk and being frightened of him resurfaced.  He feels naked, vulnerable, and ashamed all at once standing there frozen.

"You have to forgive them, it's not your fault."  The friend offers a sympathetic smile.

"Did I do something wrong?"  The entire ego he's spent the last few months popped in two seconds flat.

"No, it's not you, trust me."  The girl pats the frightened soul behind her on the had to comfort them.  "You see, they have a deathly fear of purple."

It almost sounds like some twisted joke, a prank the universe was playing on him for some unknown reason.  "Oh.  I see."  That's all Shinsou manages to say in response.  At least he's doing his best not to show how heartbroken he is.

"Sorry about that," the girl flashes another sheepish smile in half-comfort while his crush drags her away by the arm to escape  what anyone from the outside would think is a monster.

And the monster is him.

Shinsou is way past disgruntled once he gets home.  He doesn't know what to do now, what can he do now.  Giving up would be the easiest thing to do, especially with how dejected he feels.  The thing that hurts him the most is his sunshine who he never saw without their smile didn't smile when they were around him, all because of something else about him that he can't change.

He swiftly sits up from his laying position as an idea strikes him.  Or can he?

Two weeks later, Shinsou shows up to school so people barely recognize him.  He'd bought one of those hair coloring conditioners in black and washed his hair with it last night, and the brown colored contacts arrived shortly after he placed his order online.  Shinsou isn't the type of guy to give up that easily, and for someone he really wants to get to know, he'll make it work.  If he can temporarily change his appearance just to get to know them first, maybe he can be the one to help them get over their fear little by little.

Shinsou brushes away all the comments about his drastic appearance change; he's doing it for them and that's all that matters.  He decides this time to just approach them at lunchtime, no dramatic openers or well-timed moments; a friendly conversation is just as good an introduction as he can get now.

He approaches them while throwing away their lunch alone, tapping their shoulder.  "Hey."  He holds his breath when they turn around again, eyes scanning his figure for recognition.  "You don't know me, I'm in 1-C, we haven't spoken before."

A friendly grin spreads on their face.  "Oh, it's good to meet you!"

The boy inwardly cheers in victory.  "I'm Shinsou, your name is?"

"(Y/n)."

He rubs the back of his neck.  He wants to be honest, but doesn't know how they'll take it.  "I tried to talk to you a few weeks ago, but you were startled and ran off before I could say anything."

Their hazel eyes widen slightly before guilt morphs into their features.  "Oh, you're that guy.  I'm really sorry I did that to you, I must've made you feel awful."  They groan, a sound Shinsou admittedly finds cute, red color rushing to their cheeks, "And you even changed your hair color and everything, I'm really sorry!"

"Hey, it's okay."  Shinsou offers empathetically, "You shouldn't feel bad about things that you have no control over."  He knows that feeling all too well.  "I put the effort in because I want to get to know you better, it's not something you should feel bad about.  I think you're cool, from what I've seen.  We should hang out."

The boy can tell how taken back but grateful they are, a deep rooted appreciation shines from their eyes and more color saturating their cheeks.  "I'm not that special, but I think you're a cool guy for doing this for me."

Shinsou's heart can't help but feel captured once again by their vulnerability.  "It's what's on the inside that matters, I guess.  Can I join you for the rest of lunch?"

And finally, he's rewarded with what he's wanted to see:  His bright light shows him a beaming, toothy grin that crinkles up their eyes and puffs out their cheeks; it's a smile that's directed straight at him.  As his heart thumps wildly in his chest, the boy thinks he can die happily in this very moment.  "Of course!  Let's go sit."

It takes him a moment and a cough to clear his throat before he's back on Earth, nodding and following them back to their table.  As they walk next to him, he steals a few glances down, hoping that nothing else goes wrong.  Even if they do, he knows he'll have to find a way to work around them.  With that battery-charging smile, he knows he can figure out the solution to any problem.

So the full request from Anon was: “Hey you could take ALL the time at this but it wouldn't be sad if Shinsou's crush, the reader, is porphyrophobic. That means the reader is scared of the color purple. Have a good day!"

I hope I did it justice, it was originally gonna be just full angst, but it would only be drabble length, so I took it a step further.  I hope it made you guys feel all warm inside :3

[teacup-tai]

Top Five of 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

My lovely @the-starryknight thanks for the tag!  I’ll tag a few people, but you probably already did it: @ruinsplume @kasjophe @gallifrey1sburning @quicksilvermaid @prolix- @dazedandinked 

Right. This year was insane, I got stuck first half of the year in Ireland with only 2 friends close by, all my family in Brazil or Spain while I was writing my bloody master thesis (that is what I’m proudest of this year, but it’s not published yet, so won’t go in this list). I managed a lot of hard emotions in solitude, by myself, while reading drarry fics to keep afloat (great coping mechanism, actually!). And after handing my thesis and moving to Spain, I was feeling deeply empty. So I went back to fic-writing, after 2 or 3 years of not even looking at my old fics. 

It all started when I saw the posts for prompt claiming on the @hd-hurtfest  blog. To think how that post changed everything in my life is just bizarre. So I am very thankful! It has been a huge pleasure to go back to fic-writing and to re-embrace the HP fandom, mainly the drarry squad! To get to know so many lovely people and I’m forever grateful for that. 

Here is my Top Five:

hear me (with your whole body): (Drarry, E, 9k) this is the fic I wrote for the hd-hurtfest 2020. I saw @quicksilvermaid’s prompt and I shivered. It lured me so much I had the whole plot in my head as soon as I finished sending the claim. It was so hard to write it. Because the topic is very sensitive: open relationships, sexual mismatch, bad communication skills. I brought most of my bad experiences in all these sensitive topics as if I was purging it from my body while writing ‘hear me’. It was a very raw process of looking into my own still bleeding wounds, but very cathartic. And it was hard because it was my very first drarry (I love drarry and I normally only read drarry, but I’ve never felt confident enough to write it), so I was very nervous. And in bloody English xD LOL but I’m bloody proud of it. I wanted to write something real without making a show of blaming one of the parts, at the same time I wanted to use and unreliable POV (Harry’s) and to bring forth all those very uncomfortable realities of jealousy, insecurity of one’s sexuality etc. in a way people could relate to. I’ve never imagined the response to this fic would be so nice, and many of the comments drove me to deep reflection. I’m specially happy about this fic because after writing ‘hear me’ something cracked open inside of me, in my own personal-romantic life and also in writing. Like a small miracle. And then, I couldn’t stop writing anymore.

Rebel Rebel: (Sirius/Remus. E, 5k) heh, Wolfstar is my OTP *-* So writing this tiny fic with ‘there was no war’ prompt for the sirius black fest was a bloody delight. The feeling of exploring their youth, in the early 80s and the whole atmosphere of that time was exhilarating! Bowie’s concerts, HIV+ and Aids, queer community and old school crushes. Giving them a future and professions was fun as fuck. But the best part was making Sirius Black fuck around, wild and free, you know. Because he bloody well deserved it. I love the writing style I explored there, very influenced by Caio Fernando Abreu, one of my favourite Brazilian writers and it was just great great fun!

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise: (Drarry + Wolfstar, E, 40k+ WIP) I need to post 3 more chapters along this next few days.  I’m adding Dragons here because NEVER. IN. MY. LIFE I thought this story would come out of my head into the pages, and I’m so bloody happy, so bloody proud of myself. I cannot believe how much I’ve written in a month, about a plot that had some path in my head but never a shape, and how this all blossomed inside of me and how it’s coming out just brilliantly. I know I’ll think back at some point and think this and that are not great. But I think this fic is one of my best works, it deals with the queer community, with depression and acceptance, with HIV+ folk, and deep emotions. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of writing. And here it is, and writing it made me manage the fact that I wouldn’t be able to spend this xmas with my family, so I spent this last month with this characters and feeling the opposite of lonely. And to be able to write Harry having a family, you know, being raised by Remus and Sirius is just marvellous. I’m over the moon with wolfstar being great gaydads :D

Scorching: (Pansmione, E, 1.5k) first time I translated a Portuguese fic of mine to English. It was fun to do it, as it’s purely smutty smut and well, I love pansmione and it makes me greedy to go back to writing about this ship. I like how it turned out, but it’s not beta-ed so maybe it’s not great. But damn, I really like this Pansy. ^^

The Old Ways: (Voldemort/Walburga, M, 3k). So, I have a whole word document full of snippets on the Black family. As the Black family is my huge guilty pleasure (that’s why Tainara Black has been my pen name since 2005). I don’t like to think Walburga was only a mad pureblood bigoted woman, I like to think of her as being strongly magical and very sure of herself. Someone three-dimensional with knowledge of Dark magic of the old ways and a deep insanity that comes with legacy of pureness, but also with financial influence and  management of old wizarding land. I realised Walburga is only 1 year older than Voldie, she is closest to his age than her husband or brother (if we follow the Balck Family Genealogical Tree), and this sparked a whole idea inside of me. So this fic is a character study of Walburga when Sirius is only 10 and Voldemort is organising a war, and I honestly think is one of my best fics (even though it wasn’t beta-ed). I loved writing about this powerful witch, that got stuck in keeping her bloodline alive, that gave up on great deeds of power and freedom to become a pureblood mother and wife. But it’s the fic no one reads, so I’m adding a bit of it here in hopes it may interest someone:

He climbs the last step of the noisy, rusty, winding stair, his eyes mapping the place in silent wonder. The rooftop is sombre. Rough grey cement floor and dead flower beds in a far corner, big dark clay pots with dead branches and dry bushes scattered around; the only living thing is an imposing carnivorous plant, it’s toothed lips opening and closing sharply around bugs and other insects.

She is right there, in the centre of the chaotic rooftop garden and he thinks the house is in shambles, and so is she. The moon is reflecting its cold brightness over her as if it were a stage light. He takes a second to contemplate her stance. He has never seen her like this before. It is such an incongruous sight it almost feels like he’s intruding. Is not a feeling he’s used to.

She’s perched in a high frail copper chair, her ankles crossed lightly, with pale bare feet against the dirty coarse floor, one white arm falling languidly from the armrest, her elegant fingers holding a thin long smoking pipe. Rings of smoke rising into the night sky. The back of her skull resting on the back of the chair, he can’t see her face from this angle, but he’s stunned by the imagery.

She looks almost mythical; with her long black mane messy and loose, barely touching the ground. He can’t remember when was the last time he’s seen her hair down, but he’s pretty sure it wasn’t that long, nor were there silver strikes colouring it in a mix of salt and pepper.

“How long do you plan to stare?” her voice is as rusty as the whole house and he scoffs.

keep reading

[writtenwhalien]

Hello!

I am the anon from yesterday.

I do not know why do you feel you're not good with words or think you're terrible while comforting others. You have no idea how much your words have helped me. They really did, I am not lying. When I read your response, I was literally in tears. I did not know how much I wanted to hear those words, or how much I wanted someone to say things like that to me.

You see, I myself am not an expressive person. I'ld rather die than to share anything about me to someone. I know, not the proudest thing, but it has always been like that with me. But yesterday, I did not know what happened. I just opened this app and saw you — first person/blog — and I had this urge to write that. So I did. I wrote because I wanted to talk to someone that I did not know personally. Or better yet, they did not know me. I just wanted to talk to someone. I don't know why I thought it would be easier to share everything given the situation/condition I was in. But no! I did not know what gibberish I was writing and just sent you.

I am so soo sooo glad that I did that. I feel much much lighter now. Really, I do!! Thank you sooo much for helping me. Thank you @pjmpov to write that sweet note under my ask. I really am grateful to you too as well. I read that as well and cried again while reading that. I felt....wanted.

Once again, Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 💖💜

hello lovely anon! 🥰 oh I’m honestly so happy to hear that my words made a difference, please know I’ll always be here for you even if it is only to shower you with virtual hugs and gifs of bangtan 🥺❤️

I completely understand that you just wanted to talk to someone, sometimes it can be relieving to talk to someone who doesn’t know you.. I’m glad you did it. I hope it helped to be able to write everything out. just remember you’re not alone and no matter what you think, things will get better — ajd always try to be the one to improve your own self. as sad as it may seek sometimes, we can only help ourselves. people can love and care for us, or not, either way in the end it’s up to us to help ourselves.

and I’ll always be here to cheer you on as you work on yourself, for yourself!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ & thank you @pjmpov for your love for anon 🥺❤️