#shinsou angst

[zzeraphilm]

little white lies

Shinsou Hitoshi x GN!Reader word count: 2,517 summary: shinsou and y/n's childhood dream was to become heroes, side by side. but as you grow up, reality hits hard, and sometimes lies make the pain easier to bare.

Tiny pitter pattering feet crunched the granite beneath them. Two little children, imagining their powers, capturing villains and saving the world. With their school jumpers tied around their necks, their makeshift capes fluttered in the wind as they ran around the monkey bars. 

“Ah ha! Stay back villain! The twin heroes Étoile and- Hitoshi, did you think of a hero name yet?” Y/N, the taller of the duo, snapped at the little boy beside them. 

“Uhm, not yet I’m still thinking about it.” He mumbled.

“You should do some research! My dad showed me all of the ways heroes can be named! I picked mine because it means star in French! One day I hope to be a shining star that saves people!” 

The thick head of purple hair bobbed up and down, nodding along to the ramblings of his friend. Since his first quirk manifestation, he has been scared to show Y/N his ability, brainwashing isn’t particularly associated with heroism. In Shinsou’s eyes, Y/N was blessed with the perfect quirk to become a hero unlike him. He remembers the day their quirk manifested, they were on their way to school and the scatterbrained Y/N tripped on the cracked pavement, bracing for impact they felt a beam of light pushing them upwards in the air. From their fingertips, the rays of sunlight had curved into a little cloud for them.

They were smiling ear to ear, their happiness so infectious that Shinsou couldn’t help but cheer. From then on, in class Y/N would mould the various rays of light from a lamp or fire into a multitude of objects, shapes and weapons. Their class praised Y/N, knowing their future success as a hero was guaranteed. Shinsou couldn’t continue to be petty around Y/N, his friend was quite literally the light of his life, and he just wanted to remain by their side. 

Towards their second year in Middle School, Y/N’s life took a drastic turn. Their family had to relocate out of their town, meaning Shinsou would be left for the dogs in his high school who would torment his dreams of becoming a hero alongside Y/N. They promised to continue to talk everyday, Y/N would send extensive messages, updates about their life in their new town. How they befriended many people and have started their own Hero Appreciation Club at their new school.

Shinsou buried his jealousy like second skin. He lied through his teeth like it was biological to him. Y/N knew of Shinsou’s quirk, they reassured him that despite everything, he could become an incredible hero. But with the world around him painting him to be the perfect villain to Y/N’s hero, he despised the thought of being a hero. So when on their weekly phone call to each other, as Y/N rambled about attending a hero school and how they wanted to live up to their childhood dream. Shinsou agreed, said he felt the same and promised to live up to Y/N’s wishes. That was when the lies first started. 

Shinsou got into UA’s General Studies course, his grades were excellent and the prestige of UA’s reputation around the world was enough for his parents to agree in his admission. Despite knowing that he had tried so hard to get into the hero course. It was futile, because a useless quirk as his would never work in a battlefield situation. 

Y/N succeeded in getting into the hero course at Shiketsu High School, at the news of their admission into the hero course, Y/N cheered endlessly on the phone with Shinsou. So excited to finally see their dream come to fruition. Upon asking if Shinsou held up his end of the plan, he said he did. That he got into UA. He just didn’t mention which class, so Y/N assumed that everything was fine. That they would soon be reunited as heroes. 

Being a part of the hero class meant Y/N was constantly busy, unlike Shinsou. His high school life was as ordinary as one could have it, he had thought multiple times to drop out and go to a regular school. It would’ve made no difference, yet whenever him and Y/N spoke, he felt guilty. A sticky, black tar-like feeling at the pit of this throat. He didn’t want to disappoint them. He wanted to be the boy that was always by their side, in every dream and every thought. He just wanted to be beside them again. And if that meant he had to maintain this facade of a hero-to-be, then so be it. As long as it remains just between him and Y/N. 

“Then we had to do these 2v2 fights in a hypothetical villain attack. It was crazy, I think I really got into the character of a villain!” They laughed through the screen, as they tilted their head at Shinsou’s nonchalant hummed response. 

“Toshi, how’s your hero studies been going? Do you guys have a lot of written content to cover?” 

Shinsou stopped scribbling in his notebook, he couldn’t have Y/N think that they failed to get into the hero course, and was merely a general studies student. He broke his train of thought with a cough.

“Yeah kinda. Uhh, Mr Aizawa is getting us to make notes on past rescue missions for an assignment.” He had lost count over how many lies he had said, maybe this was the 100th one but he couldn’t remember. Just as long as Y/N believes him. 

“Oh wow! To think Eraserhead would be such a strict guy. My teachers think it’s best to learn through doing, so my hands are too sore to even pick up a pen nowadays!” Before they could finish their sentence they yawned loudly. “Ah, I’m so sorry Toshi, I’ve been so tired lately.” 

Shinsou couldn’t help but smile at how cute they looked trying to stop themselves from falling asleep. 

“Then go to bed stinky. You gotta wake up early tomorrow,” With a light hum and a slow nod with their head, Y/N waved him goodbye. 

Shinsou was afraid of course, if Y/N found out the truth, that their childhood friend was a disgusting liar with a villainous quirk so of course he would manipulate them into believing everything he said. His mind was full of self-sabotaging and self-despising thoughts. He could only shove his mind into his studies to cover up the screams in his head. 

News of the attack in USJ spread across the school like wildfire, the thought of a villain attack sent a shivers down the spine of every student. Of course, the news spread to the rest of the country, with Y/N spamming Shinsou’s phone with endless missed calls and messages. Shit. He was so busy lately with his studies that he forgot about Y/N thinking he was with the hero class. 

12 missed calls from Y/N ☆ Hitoshi answer me Pls Pls answer me R u okay?!?? Pick up my calls!

“Hello?” 

“Hitoshi! Where are you? Are you okay? Did you get hurt? I saw the news and- oh God I can’t even- Please tell me you’re not hurt!” 

Y/N’s mind was spiralling out of control, endless visions of Shinsou hurt and pinned down by a villain flooded their mind. They felt sick with anxiety, they had cried themselves to sleep the night before thinking the worst because Shinsou hadn’t responded to them. 

“I’m okay. I’m fine, luckily I called in sick.” He mumbled. 

Relief flooded over their body, Y/N physically felt the weight of worry be lifted from their soul. 

“Thank goodness, how are your classmates? Are they recovering okay? I’m so sorry you guys had to go through that. You know can always talk to me Toshi. I know we’ve been busy lately to even talk but I’m always here for you.” 

Shinsou felt dirty, he felt disgusting for the lies that he had laid. He had dug himself in his own grave by this point. 

“Yeah, thanks Y/N. I’ve- I’ve got to go there’s some stuff I’ve got to do.”

“Of course Toshi, just message me when you get home! Stay safe.” Click. 

The two tried to speak regularly, but with the stress of their hero activities and Shinsou’s growing guilt turned resentful - they hadn’t spoken in over a month. The UA Sports Festival was fast approaching and Y/N had already been bragging to the rest of their friends about Shinsou. How excited they were to see him on the screen, hyping everyone in the room with their shining persona. Any mention of Shinsou, Y/N instantly beamed and everyone knew from a mile away how much the boy meant to them. The rest of Class 1-A at Shiketsu had their eyes glued to the screen upon the announcement of the UA Sports Festival. Y/N was busy writing their message to Shinsou wishing him luck. Despite the extensive chat history largely consisting of missed calls and messages from Y/N.

Shinsou tried to block out Y/N from his life the last few weeks, muting their messages and focusing their studies. Seeing Class 1-A at UA going about their days ignited a fire within him. He had been so spiteful of himself, for lying to Y/N about his hero journey, it only justified his own beliefs that he couldn’t become a hero like them. To then seeing the danger 1-A posed for the rest of the school, he felt cluster of emotions, ranging from spite, hatred, jealousy, envy and disappointment. Mainly towards himself. His self-sabotaging behaviour had only fuelled his disbelief over himself, seeing others succeed in the dream he and Y/N had made him sick. 

By now, he did not care for Y/N, he had become blinded by his envy. His self-hatred. His new found desire to win. 

“Guys it’s starting!” Y/N had invited their classmates and close friends to their parents’ home to watch the sports festival together. They huddled around the television screen, on the sofa, the floor and even on top of each others laps. Bags of chips and snacks messily spread across the table and multiple cups of juice were handed out. They were all excited to see the infamous Shinsou Hitoshi that their beloved classmate would fawn over. 

The silent shock that cast over the room was deafening, Shinsou walked out along with the general studies class and all of a sudden the attention was towards Y/N. It moved so fast that they barely noticed they had moved onto the next class. Nobody wanted to call Y/N’s bluff and continued to watch in silence. Each move that Shinsou took didn’t live up to the heroic version of him in their minds. Some even saw him as, villainous. Y/N didn’t speak, didn’t take a sip or eat anything. Their eyes were glued to the screen, jaw tightly locked in position and their fists balled till their skin turned white. 

The day was supposed to be a fun, class get together at their friends house to cheer for their favourite UA student. No one would’ve guessed that it was all a lie. Some of their classmates knew of Shinsou’s quirk briefly, some had no idea that he could brainwash people. So during the student-student battle rounds, they were left shocked at how unsportsmanlike Shinsou was, the way he manipulated his quirk to win. He was nothing like how Y/N described him, this boy who was full of wonder and was always determined to be by Y/N’s side. Some of the students felt sick, some of the students resembled the same kinds of people that swayed Shinsou away from his dreams of becoming a hero. Before the fight between Midoriya Izuku and Shinsou could take place, Y/N turned off the TV and walked out the room. No one tried to console them. 

Well done for today. Call me when you’re free.

“Y/N, you there?”

“Shinsou why did you lie to me?” 

His heart almost skipped a beat at his exposure. 

“I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

A new found anger filled Y/N’s voice, they screamed. “But you did! For almost half a year! You pretended to be a part of 1-A, I thought you almost died at USJ! Yet I see you on national television using your quirk like your some sort of-“

“Some sort of what?! Villain? I fought damn hard today, I’m not having you prove them all right!” 

The call cut abruptly, both Y/N and Shinsou were left aghast. Years of dreams together and years of friendship. Suddenly began to melt away. Had their feelings for each other, their dreams to be together side by side as heroes come to an end now?

Since they last spoke on the phone, Y/N became fully integrated into Shiketsu High’s hero course, ignoring the rest of the world around them. Allowing themselves to be swallowed whole by their hero activities. Despite their hard work, their mind was always elsewhere. Their last conversation with Shinsou left a bitter taste in their mouth that nothing could clean out. Maybe if they had been more understanding, they could’ve fixed everything. 

Unlike a few of their classmates, Y/N pass their Provisional Licence exam with a breeze. Only a few more steps closer to becoming a pro, was all that was driving Y/N to continue with their studies. Their endless spiralling thoughts had consumed them to the point of delusion that only a harsh voice from a certain pro-hero caught broke their train of thought.

“Are you Y/N L/N?” 

They whipped their head around to face the Erasure hero, Eraserhead. Aizawa Shota, who upon close inspection, was the older spitting image of Shinsou. Y/N cursed how the image of Shinsou followed them everywhere they turned. 

“You’re friends with Shinsou Hitoshi from UA, yes?” They gave a hesitant nod. 

“Well he reached out to me to train him, tell me. Do you think he can do it, train to become a hero?” His stagnant voice held no indication of hope nor malice. So this was Class 1-A’s teacher.

Y/N could only recall the memories of their childhood with Shinsou, where despite his smaller frame compared to other kids, his slight stammer as a child. He would always stand up for Y/N no matter what, he would always hold their hand whenever it would get dark sooner than expected. How Shinsou would always give them the other half of his candy to make sure that Y/N would always have something to eat or smile at. How no matter what Shinsou would be by their side, even if they were apart, the spirit of him was always leaning over them. Y/N knew, from the very first day they met him, that Shinsou was their hero.

“Yes. I know he can become the greatest hero, because he’s always been mine.” 

[shiggybrainr0t]

shinsou who knows he’s not a good boyfriend. he loves you more than anything, anyone- and he thinks he always will. but he’s a bad boyfriend. he’s a pro hero, and you never fault him for that. but that means he constantly misses dates and anniversaries. whenever he comes home to your excited face he can’t help it whenever he’s out as soon as he hits the pillow. he’s not the best at communicating, and seeing you try to keep your composure whenever he does something that makes you angry makes his love for you grow. because even though he’s a horrible boyfriend- you’re the best partner he could ever imagine. when he misses the dinner he promised he’d be home for since you had a new recipe you wanted to try, he found a cat shaped sticky note taped to the table reading “I know you’re probably starving, so I left you a plate in the microwave! <3” whenever he pushes you off of him because he’s too tired too overstimulated too much, you hide the hurt and tell him you understand with a sympathetic smile. when he comes back from a rough day, you’ve seen it all on the news, you welcome him with his comfiest pajamas in your hands and gentle touches. but he sees it wearing you down. he sees the permanent furrow in your brow that was never there before. he sees that you’ve stopped waiting up for him (and even though he told you to it still hurts). he sees that this relationship can’t be saved, no matter how many heart shaped bandages you carefully place on the cracks. but he can’t bring himself to break up with you-even knowing you’ll be happier in the long run.

“babe?”

“yeah toshi-“ you freeze, mind clouded in a thick fog.

“break up with me.”

the hurt that is painted across your face once he releases you from his quirk is something he’ll never forget.

[melanatedkink]

Not This Time, Love

Pairing: Y/NxShinsou

Pro Hero AU (aged-up obviously)

Warnings: Sensory deprivation, angst to comfort, masturbation (Y/N recieving) slight dumbification themes, mentions of love, baby, sweetheart, daddy; comfort sex, aftercare

When you two first got together, it was pretty established that you were both night owls. You met him at an early morning diner, one you had been working for a few years. At that hour, all you had were the regular party animals slinking in for something to soak up the liquor in their systems, or the occasional sidekick getting ready to punch out of their night patrols. As far as the pros were concerned, not one would be caught dead in a tiny diner like this. It wasn't a chain, nor was it close to the city or high end neighborhoods they typically resided in. So, when Mindjack appeared after a sea of drunkards had found their usual seats, you were utterly confused. Was this even the same man? The one you'd caught glimpses of on TV? It would be one hell of a cosplay if not.

As you made your way to take his order, though, someone had gotten the idea that pinching your butt would bring them coffee faster. You were used to the occasional handsy customer. You were ready to play bouncer, when a looming shadow put stop to your readied retort.

"You wanna try that again?" Mindjack bellowed behind you.

The bleary eyed coward didn't even give him a chance to fully activate his quirk, turning and ushering his friends to the other side of the diner, mumbling something about his aura being creepy.

As you turned, you found a sheepish hero, thumbing at the mask dangling around his neck.

"A-are you good?" he stuttered.

You thought a man of his stature would be running on adrenaline from an altercation, but it seemed that had the opposite effect on him. What a cutie.

"Yes sir, thank you for your service," you winked," Are you good, though?"

He sighed, retaking his seat," Never done that before,"

He said that, but ever since that morning, he was showing up to the diner around the same time. Just in case he needed more practice in defending your honor.

Months had nearly become a year filled with change. Mindjack, formally introduced to you as Hitoshi Shinsou, never lost his prepencity to protect you. He opted to invite you to his side of town to live in, and recently has been pushing you to give up your job. And, although the idea was great, it was hard enough to find a job in the first place considering your horrible worries of becoming a burden again. See, you had never finished school, which meant you were sent back your folks' home without a degree for them to boast about and a sizeable hole in their bank accounts. It seemed to take forever to get a job, and it took even longer for you to become independent. Your friends even offered handouts just to get you your own place faster, seeing as you weren't going to be finishing the semester with them, and they still wanted you close. Something about the look of pity in their eyes stung. It didn't feel generous. It felt like a burden. You felt like a burden.

Somehow, that realization set a precedent of you needing to be independent. Meaning you had to do this by yourself. You weren't at school anymore, sucking up thousands just to be a C average student. That meant you were an adult. And adults needed to be responsible for themselves. Their goals. Their mistakes. It was all on you. That was the message that was hammered into you your entire childhood. There was no way that wouldn't apply now.

Unfortunately, these days, it was getting tiresome to uphold that level of independent thinking. Not tiresome. Overwhelming. Every day felt as if you were playing a different role. You'd be the adult your folks wanted when they called to check up on you. You didn't want to worry them. You'd be the square, reassuring old soul with your friends. You needed to be there for them. You'd be the level-headed manager at your job. Somebody had to keep it together, and you were the best. And you'd be the low maintenance partner for Shinsou when he came home from work. Something you had felt pride in doing at first but now...

Oil from the pan popped you right out of your thoughts. Your sandwich was sitting on the plate, waiting for you. You sighed, turned the stove off, and headed to the living room. The TV wasn't on, indicating your boyfriend was hard at work filing a report. Before you, he'd do this at the office. Though, knowing you were close motivated him to finish faster for more cuddles. He focus broke as soon as you entered.

"You almost done?" you sweetly asked.

He nodded, pecking your cheek as you placed his food on the coffee table.

"You didn't have to, sweetheart," he crooned," But yeah, I have about three more pages to fill out, and I'll be all yours,"

You flashed him a warm smile before heading down the hall to change for bed. As soon as you closed the door, the silence of the house crept into the crevices of your fragile mind. It was dark due to the hour, but you couldn't turn on the light. Being reminded of a home you could never a hope to afford sent pins and needles through your blood. You turned to the bed, its comfort mocking you. It was like everything kept reminding you that you didn't deserve it. You were an intruder. You didn't work for any of this. You were a-

Your jaw clenched tight while you gingerly peeled the covers back, and settled in the best you could, facing away from Hitoshi's spot. Cuddles could wait. Cuddles would be something to look forward to as the tears of exhaustion started up again. You had done this song and dance many times. You clutched the underside of the pillow, and pressed your sniffles into the fabric. You'd force horrible conjectures about yourself, just to "get it all out" faster. Then you'd listen for Shinsou to come back. Wait, how long did it take for him to finish again?

The bed dipped behind you, making you flinch. When did he get in here? Why didn't you notice? While you were beating yourself up for slipping, Shinsou pressed his chest up against you. He wiggled a little, sighing into your hair and petting it.

"Cuddles?" he pressed.

"Mhmm," you relaxed your shoulders, silently hoping he'd take that as sign that this position was fine. However-

"Can you face me? I want to hold you tonight," he suggested.

Dang it. You swore he was using a soft tone out of spite. But he didn't know, right? Just play it off.

"You're holding me now, baby," you reminded him.

"Pleeease?" he groaned.

It was dark. It was safe to turn around. You flipped your pillow and flopped in front of him. As promised, Shinsou's long, heavy arm wrapped behind your back. His fingers lightly scratched at your back, bordering on tickling. Silence still made you a little uneasy, especially when his ministrations came to a halt.

Just chill out. He probably fell asleep. You tried to relax in his hold when Shinsou suddenly found something to say.

"Why do you cry without telling me?"

Your heart skipped a beat. Maybe a couple. You couldn't tell; you'd gone completely rigid at his accusation.

"Sweetheart," his fingers snaked across the back of your neck," why are you hurting by yourself?"

It was dark. He couldn't see the tears welling up, but you could feel his eyes. He scooted so he could press his forehead against yours.

"I noticed you started flipping your pillow once I come to bed. I just thought you were trying to hide your phone or something, but one night, you had gone to the bathroom. I checked your pillow. It was still... how long? What's bothering you, honey?"

You curled in on yourself. That was the thing with juggling so many personas. None of them allowed you to be vulnerable like this. There wasn't a mask ready for this situation. You shielded yourself the best you could as you sniffled quietly.

He hummed. You were at least allowing yourself to cry. But there was no way in heaven nor hell you were going to bed with a wet pillow again.

"Close your eyes," You did as he said. He planted a soft, firm kiss to your unsuspecting lips. You whined at the contact, but he didn't let up until you slowly began kissing him back,"Keep your eyes closed, and listen to everything I say, okay?"

His fingers traveled down your spine and over your tummy, laying you on your back. He pressed his body against your side, dotting kisses down your neck and shoulder.

"I want you," he whispered into your skin, "Open your legs if you want me,"

You spread your legs, breathing still uneven as your tears were still waning. He pushed his hand underneath the waistband, and cupped your sex saying," I love you." in a way that conveyed so much more than an affirmation. It felt like a blanket of reassurance. It was dark behind your eyelids. With his weight on your side, it felt safe. He played with you beneath your clothes, encouraging every little sound you made until you were ready for his fingers. Slowly, Shinsou spread you open, moaning along with you while he pushed inside.

"Take my finger, love. Focus on how it feels,"

Your cheeks were on fire. Something about is his word choice felt so exposed. Like he was exposing you akin to the way his finger was exposing your insides to the embers of pleasure. You grabbed at his working arm, not to stop him, just to comfort yourself. His chest rumbled in approval. You were clenching now as Shinsou wiggled around inside you. Maybe it was your mind, maybe it was his total control of the situation but you whispered," C-can I ... Can I call you daddy?"

It was so meek the way you said it, which earned you another finger aimed directly at your sweet spot. If you were allowed to open your eyes, they'd be crossed from the way he angled perfectly inside.

"Listen carefully, you hear that?" The sound of your arousal mingled nicely with your moans," Sounds like you're feeling good,"

Your nails dug into him. Your hips ground into his palm, the friction becoming unbearably addictive. You needed to sink lower.

"Daddy~ hah Daddy can I please have more? I want all of you,"

He hummed to himself," Only if you promise to remember something," Shinsou slipped from your entrance and rolled you on your side, facing away from him. The tip of his burning shaft parted your hole, teasing and creating more of a mess,"Tell me you earned this,"

Your mind went blank. You'd never heard anything like that in your life. You were certain you were aware of you kinks, but the way the command seared your core, you found yourself incredibly wrong.

"It's okay baby. You're just telling me the truth," He teased himself inside again, "You know it's true. All you have to do is say it,"

And with a frustrated sigh, you yielded.

"I earned it,"

Your confirmation quickly shot up into a high squeal. Shinsou didn't mean to push all the way in at once. Yet, with the mess you were making, it was almost a necessary accident.

"Ohhh God," he moaned into your shoulder, as he began to grind into you. He hooked his arm under your thigh, keeping you open for him to rock his hips into you. You grabbed at your pillow for support, tears springing in your eyes from the feeling of him spearing into you.

"And you're right," he grunted," You fucking earned it. All. of. this." he accented each word with a forceful thrust," You hear me? I love you. I appreciate - ah fuck - I appreciate everything you do for me. So let me - oh God - Let me fucking take care of you,"

His movements were becoming erradic as he was making a point to hammer in his thoughts into every corner of your body. Your mind had melted deliciously by now. You blindly took every word as fact, feasting on it like you were starving. He was right. No wonder you loved him. He made it a point to protect you, take care of your every need even when you found yourself unable to justify that level of trust. Just as you somehow earned this life of ease, he'd earned that level of trust.

With that you screamed," Daddy! I love you so much, 'm sorry. I want you. I-I need you! I need Daddy please,"

"Oh fuck, you have me. Never fucking forget that,"

He bit into your shoulder finding himself on the verge of crashing into that high head on. He could barely muster a warning before his eyes screwed shut, and he slammed his hips right into you, releasing a flurry broken moans. His sounds kick-started your orgasm. You shuddered and squealed through your high, your nails creating permanent indents in your poor pillow.

As you both floated back to earth, Shinsou relaxed his jaw. Luckily, he didn't draw blood, but he was still uneasy about the indents he could feel in his kisses. Your voice cut his thoughts short.

"To everyone else, I have to have it together, or I'm treated like I can't do shit right. That's why I can't ask for help. Or at least, it feels impossible to," you admitted," I just didn't want to be incompetent to you,"

He scoffed,"There's not a chance. You can't be an incompetent partner because you are you. Not because you don't ask for things,"

This time, you took the initiative to lay into his chest, facing him. You pecked little kisses into his collarbone while he rubbed your back. All your life you needed those words. Since Shinsou believed them, you could too.

"Now, what are we watching tonight?"

You chuckled dryly," Nice try, I have work,"

"Oh no no, you're calling out,"

You wrenched yourself away from his neck," Nooo-"

You were cut off by his finger on your lips. He leaned right in front of your face, close enough to feel his breath as he whispered,"I'm not done taking care of you, sweetheart. Simple. As. That,"

[maehara-san]

Something about the unknown.

[a/n: something random, do please enjoy. 🪐]

"Do you still miss him?"

Resting your chin on your open palm you looked away, staying quiet to avoid a question you did not know the answer to yet.

"Come on," your friend grabbed the empty chair and sat down in front of your desk. "It's been a month (name)―"

Placing your hands on your desk you rised abruptly from your seat. "You don't know what it's like to care about someone who deeply hurt you." Looking at your friend you added, "Please stop asking me when you don't fully understand how badly I'm hurting right now."

Your friend sighed, their lips parted ready to argue against you but opted not to.

You walked out of your classroom with crossed arms in front of your chest. The halls filled with students that paid no attention to what you were filling, wishing that you too did not having anything to worry about.

As you turned the corner to head down the stairs you saw your ex with another girl, her arm wrapped tightly around his own. Happily flirting as if nothing he always had been single with no trace of an ex.

"It's hard seeing him like that isn't it?" A voice spoke one you recognized well.

Your eyes wouldn't tear themselves away from the two people down at the bottom of the stairs. An ache rising again, you moved your hand to the front of your chest and squeeze your shirt tightly. Your knuckles turning white, hoping it would reach your heart to stop it from beating and feeling that hole deepening inside.

"He moved on too quickly, don't you think you deserve better than that?" He stepped closer to you. "Someone like Bakugo isn't capable of caring about someone else. He never has, there's a reason why he got rid of you so quickly."

There was hesitation within you, but you didn't stop yourself from asking.

"Why?..."

"Bakugo only got what he wanted from you, if he truly meant what he said he wouldn't be locking lips with another girl knowing well his ex is watching."

Truth and behold, he was right.

But damn did it feel horrible needing to face reality. You wanted to keep the hurt locked away, far away from your reach. Anything to make the ache a little less hard than it really was.

Angrily you wiped away the tears that formed in your eyes again.

"I should have listened―" you sniffled, feeling hatred for him and yourself for not seeing how things really were. "Damn it... damn it all!"

"You shouldn't have to keep waiting for someone that won't ever come back." He said.

"I'd do anything... to make sure that would happen." You clenched your jaw seeing the way his hand went to grace your arm, delicately.

"My offer still stands." He reminded you, "I dislike people like him who feel entitled."

"I'm not going to use you, Shinso." You shook your head looking at him with a tear stained face. "I wouldn't be able to hurt you like that."

"Who said you'll hurt me?" He playfully smirked, "I know what I'm getting myself into remember? I'm the one who's asking you."

Before you were able to tell him anything, Bakugo stopped at the top of the stairs looking at you, as your eyes stared at his arm wrapped around her waist.

"Don't you have anything else to do than follow me?"

"Who said she was following you?" Shinso stepped forward, glaring at him.

"How more obvious and pathetic can she be huh?!" He raised his voice staring down at him then at you. "Get over yourself! I'm done with you. Move on with your life will you? You're just asking people to pity you."

Your hands formed into tight fists, all you wanted was to slap that ridiculous look off from him. Those red orbs were only haunting you each time you closed your eyes, you were done. You had enough of him being the shadow that lingered over you each time you decided anything for yourself.

Bakugo wasn't the same person you first knew.

He was an egocentric asshole.

"Fuck you." Your voice held venom. "I don't need to loom over you and your side chick, Bakugo. I won't ever cry again for someone who doesn't give a hell about anyone but himself."

Pressing his tongue against the inside of his bottom lip, chuckling dryly.

"You're just mad that I dumped you―"

"No I'm actually relieved now that thanks to Shinso I finally opened my eyes to see you're not even worth crying two years over."

Which of course ticked him off even more.

Shinso couldn't help but laugh, "Damn coming from someone like (name) who rarely gets mad at someone you really went hit rock bottom, Bakugo."

"Shut up you purple hair trolled!" Bakugo yelled getting ready to throw a punch at him when Shinso surprised him by hitting him instead.

He staggered back holding his nose, "Y―you damn bastard!"

"Bakugo!" The girl exclaimed, rushing over to his side and screamed seeing blood was dripping from his nose. "You're an animal!"

"You're going to pay for this!"

"How?" Shinso confidently questioned as he wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you in. "You already lost everything you had gained. (Name) is mine and the only thing you have is well... that." He pointed at the chick next to him, "Not to mention in a real fight I'm pretty sure I'll be the one with less injuries."

"You're out here talking crap about me leaving you when you already with him!" Bakugo pointed at him. "You're a fucking hypocrite."

Shinso smirked, holding your chin with his thumb and index finger. He pulled you in quickly, taking you off guard as his lips connect with yours.

Your eyes widened, lips frozen as he you felt his soft plumps lips against your own. Slowly your eyes started to close and you began to copy his moves, kissing him back.

A noise of disgust could be heard but you didn't know if it was Bakugo's or the girl's.

You were too occupied by the way his hand moved down to hold the side of your neck, as his thumb rested on the bottoms part of your cheek.

He deepens the kiss, forgetting about the problem at hand. Shinso was already in too deep to pull away now, becoming addicted with the way you tasted, the way you felt.

Your hands came up to rest on his waist, ignoring the light of wariness in your brain going off. All you knew was that you didn't want to stop.

"What the hell is going on here?"

You breathed heavily as your lips parted from one another, seeing your teacher Mr. Aizawa standing there looking at the four of you.

"This fucking extra hit me that's what!" Bakugo yelled.

Shinso being the unbothered person he was responded with a monotone. "You're still here? I thought you would have left by now."

"You little!―"

Aizawa pulled Bakugo back away from Shinso and you.

"You're all coming with me." He announced, "Now."

"But he was the one who hit him first!―" the girl tried to put the blame on him but he ignored her.

"I don't care who started what." He sternly said looking back and forth at each of you. "You four are coming with me, you are equally to balme here."

"This isn't fair!" She whined.

He rolled his eyes and pushed them both to start walking.

"This is stupid!" Bakugo retorted.

Shinso and you made your way downstairs to the teachers staff room.

You were too flustered to even look at him or say anything, only complied with the directions that your teacher gaved you.

He of course noticed this and quietly slipped his hand into yours.

Looking down you saw his fingers were tightly intertwined with yours, and looked at him shyly.

Shinso offered you a soft smile, making you blush even more all the way to the staff room.

"Quite blushing, you look like a damn tomato." Aizawa said as he let you guys in first into the room.

[aheckinmess]

Wash Away the Storm [Shinsou] (Angst)

(One-shot to 1/? in a collection of My Hero Academia one-shots - posted regularly on Saturdays.)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Shinsou x OC, Hitoshi Shinsou, Shinsou Soothes the Mind and Soul, Tragedy Befalls the OC, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Our Favorite Purple-Haired Bean, Grief, Grieving OC

Word Count: 860 words

Summary: Following a devastating tragedy, Ichijiku is grateful when Shinsou inadvertently helps quiet her mind during her grief.

Author's Note: This one-shot isn't a part of a series, so if you're ever looking to see what character I'm writing for, I'll give a character name and whether it's angst, fluff, or smut in the title. Enjoy!

Ichijiku (Tigress)

"Hey, are you okay? I heard about what happened last week."

"Do you need a minute?"

"You must be so sad! Why don't you go see Hound Dog?"

All of their voices melt together as I try to make sense of everything happening around me. Getting the call that my grandpa died is crushing, and I haven't really wanted to do much except train and fight to get out all of my anger and sorrow.

My friends in 1-A, however, nudge me to seek out help as opposed to my avoidance coping mechanisms. I'd do the same thing, but I don't know if I feel ready to talk about it right now.

Still, I make an empty promise that I'll go see Hound Dog to get Ashido to stop talking to me and then go walk into the forest after school. I don't feel like going home yet to see Naomi. It'll only serve as a reminder of who's not there.

"Are you ever not out here now?" A tired voice pierces through my tumultuous mind.

"Are you ever not out here in general?" I sass back, turning to the purple-haired offender with a roll of my eyes.

His lips quirk into a smile as suddenly my mind is blank. It's blissfully, peacefully blank. I've learned how to combat Shinsou's brainwashing with an exhaustive bout of mental fighting, but this afternoon I don't want to. I just close my eyes to let the darkness aid the empty feeling in my mind.

That's when Shinsou seems to realize there's a problem. My thoughts flood back and I drop to my bottom, pulling my knees to my chest and tucking my forehead on them. Why'd you stop? I think. Why couldn't you just keep all of my memories away? To make the world go away for a little while longer...

"You didn't fight back, Sunshine." He comments softly, sitting down beside me in the grass. "That's not normal for you. Did something happen today?"

Right...Shinsou's still in General Studies. He hasn't shifted to the Hero Track yet. He wouldn't be close enough to anyone to know. I debate for a few moments if I should say anything, but ultimately decide we're close enough friends at this point to tell him.

"I guess it makes sense you wouldn't know yet. Not many outside of my class do." I choke out a little laugh. It lacks my usual humor. "I got news several days ago that my grandpa died while in the Navy." I want to cry, but I don't feel like it. I don't know that I have the energy anymore.

He doesn't make a sound, but I feel the tension in his arms. There's a long pause, not that I blame him. After all, how does one respond to that?

"Did my quirk give you a little break?" He asks after a moment. His arm gently wraps around my shoulders.

"Yeah." I breathe, once again hit with serenity when he brainwashes me and my mind quiets.

"Go ahead and get out a good cry." Shinsou whispers to me. Normally, I would fight this order. Shoot, my body even takes a second's pause like it's deciding whether to comply. But all of my sorrow suddenly combines together and splashes out of me onto his shoulder. "I'll keep you safe." He says as his hand strokes the back of my head and his other arm wraps around me.

Blissful, brainwashed fog swirls in my head as my body slumps onto his shoulder to be held. With a blank mind, I'm able to find that release of grief and tears without holding on so tightly to the pain that accompanies it.

By the time all of my tears are spent, he lets my mind go but I stay tucked into his side. It's so warm. Don't leave me. It feels so good in his arms. I decide to give myself a brief reprieve from grief and imagine what a life would be like with him. More moments like this, whether sad or content, pulled close into his arms to soak in his comfort and offer my own in return.

"Do you think he'd be proud of me?" I whisper.

"Your grandpa? For sure. I'm proud of you, and I rarely admit that to anybody." Shinsou says, shocking me abruptly. His shoulders shake with a snicker. "I mean it. I don't think I've ever seen someone work as hard as you do at helping others feel better, making sure they're alright, and at the same time juggling all of your own responsibilities and emotions. I can barely throw my scarf properly. But you," He pauses and I turn to look up at him. "You learn so quickly. You have the uncanny ability to take your weaknesses and reflect on them to immediately turn them into a strength. It's...nearly inhuman. I love that about you."

His words flood me with warmth and I sigh, relaxing.

"I appreciate that." And I mean it. "Is it okay if I stay here for a little while...with you?"

"I would never leave you to deal with this alone."

Want More Shinsou? Try: Coffee Cures

[vesterport]

I wish I was somebody anybody but myself

(aka the sad boy being sad)

@wizzidoodles

[offbrandkyoya]

Love is an interesting emotion

date 39 | masterlist | next <3

- the sillies

- also uhhhh i don’t remember the profiles 😁

- guess getting a new phone has some troubles 😨

- anyways a mimir

🏷️ @palebluedotmp3 @totomotsu @fi-chanwrites @itsrosebabe @clever-username96 @yawnchair @p3achiee @haitani-22 @rxdyzsoull @comehome2myheart @yeonmay @critter-junior @kunikame @beeomgui @bowloficecubes

[mycatategerardway]

First fic in several years. I kept it pretty short for that reason.

[wander-wren]

Dressed Up in Shadows is officially a series! yay!

as per usual coping with my life by beating up shinsou hitoshi. sorry dude. this time i gave him a boyfriend though, so maybe it evens out?

why are will wood songs such perfect titles for this series, btw, i’m gonna have to write more oneshots just to use them

[captainshindo]

Me thinks…

BK + fem! Reader before wedding but it goes like this:

Reader’s dad is nonexistent. She doesn’t have someone to walk her down the aisle. But she has someone in mind but hesitant to ask. Reader can’t sleep at night just thinking about it for days.

Finally grew a pair to ask that person but first dinner and catch up. Reader ending their time together with the “Will you walk me down the aisle?” And possibly be my dad and listen to my bs later in life and be there for me and bk

Turns out BK hit his line up and yelled at him to talk to reader at some point cause he can’t stand his future wifey not sleeping peacefully before the big day so Aizawa casually said yes

Reader cries and poured her heart out how much Aizawa ever fathered and hope he’s chill to hold that title forever.

Aizawa doesn’t mind if at all and willing to put that to his tombstone hehe

[thebestsetter]

He was born to be by your side. It was his greatest desire, what he was meant to do. It's like being next to you came naturally to him, and he can't even remember how his life was before he met you. But what he can remember are the days you both spent together. Ridiculous conversations that, somehow, made so much sense to the both of you. So random, but yet holding so much meaning.

You were both laughing so hard. Walking by the shore, hand in hand. The sunset painting the sky with red and orange. Beautiful. So, so beautiful.

"When we grow up, we'll have a house by the beach" you said, swinging your arms together

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

He grabs your sun hat and puts it on his head, earning a small "Hey!" from you.

"And then we'll buy a cotton candy machine and make lots of cotton candies." He completes your thought while taking the final bite of his popsickle. You clean the side of his mouth (which was all smudged from the cold treat) and smile.

"Yeah, we can do that too."

You used to talk about your future a lot. More than the average couple, actually. Sometimes, you both reunited at your favorite cafeteria just to talk about life. How it was gonna be. How was gonna be your life together.

"A caramello cappucino with apple pie and a mint and chocolate milkshake, please" you said, and just hearing his typical order coming out of your mouth made him smile. Somehow, knowing you memorized his order made him happier than he could put into words.

After he paid (of course, he can't let you pay for your snacks. What kind of man would he be?) you both went to sit on a table right beside a window (you always loved looking out a window while talking, and he knew that. He knew you like the back of his hand). And like you couldn't handle the sound of silence, you started talking (and he'd never complain about it: he loved hearing you talk)

"We can have 3 kids, how about that?"

"I don't like odd numbers. Why not 4?"

"4 is too much" you said, sticking your tongue out and frowning your eyebrows (you looked so cute) "We can have 2, if the problem is odd numbers"

"2 is too little" he argued, and then sighed jokingly "Okay, fine, we can have 3"

You smiled, taking a sip from your milkshake

"Maybe after the third one, we can consider having a fourth, if you'd like"

And you knew he wanted to. Of course he did. He wanted to form a big, happy family with you. He wanted his future to be by your side. He couldn't picture a future without you. Which is why it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

"What's your favorite color? Mines yellow"

It hurts. He hates this. He hates this shit so freaking much. His heart feels like it's breaking, and his lungs are gasping for air. He can't look at his date without feelong absolutely sick, like he could literally throw up at the very moment. He can't help but think of you. How you were already talking about how many kids you'd like, and now he's back on the "knowing each other stage". It was so strange not seeing you.

"I'm sorry, please excuse me"

He can't spend a single minute here anymore. He's on the verge of dying, he's sure. And as if his body already knows exactly what makes him feel better, his feet take him to your house without him realizing.

His hand hovers upon the door, ready to knock on it. Life without you is meaningless. He needs you. He loves you. He loves you so fucking much.

"HHAHAHA Stop it!! Love, I swear, tickle me one more time and I will... HAHAHAHA"

He lowers his hand and walks away.

He loves you, that's why he's letting you go. He needs to let you go for your own good. You need to get over him (even though he's sure he'll never get over you)

He can't do this to you. Not when your new boyfriend treats you so well. Not when he fucked everything up. Not when he was the reason why you two broke up. He doesn't deserve you. He always knew you were too good for him. But now, he's doing you this favour to repay you for all the times you helped him. He's not going to disturb you.

Well, back to the talking stage, it seems.

GOJO SATORU, MEGUMI FUSHIGURO, CHOSO KAMO, Nanami Kento, Geto Suguru, TSUKISHIMA KEI, Kageyama Tobio, Oikawa Tooru, KUROO TETSURO, TODOROKI SHOTO, Bakugou Katsuki, Aizawa Shota (kinda???), SHINSOU HITOSHI, RIN ITOSHI, SAE ITOSHI, BACHIRA MEGURU, Chigiri Hyoma, KUNIGAMI RENSUKE, REO MIKAGE + any character you think fits this!!

~ A/N: not proofread!!

Masterlist

[miyamoratsumuu]

WISH YOU WERE HERE

↳ the war was finally over, but at what cost? a.k.a. the bnha boys texting the number of their deceased lover after the war. ft. k. bakugou, e. kirishima, h. sero, d. kaminari, h. shinsou, s. todoroki note: timestamps are mostly irrelevant except for bakugou's in a way:)

navigation . . . mha masterlist

a/n: just gonna drop this here before i start working on the event requests hihi 🫶🏻

[frickingnerd]

shinsou finding his s/o's suicide note

pairing: hitoshi shinsou x gn!reader

summary: shinsou stumbles across your suicide note...

tags: suicidal & depressed reader, angst to wholesome fluff, hurt/comfort, sensitive!shinsou, tiny bit of argument & resolution

“what is this…?”

you almost had a heart attack when you entered your dorm room, only to find your boyfriend holding up a letter you wish he had never seen.

“were you going through my stuff–!?”

you couldn't help but get defensive. you were panicking and you ended up lashing out on shinsou, while he remained calm.

“i thought it was part of the papers for your homework. i'll apologize all you want, but i need to know… you didn't plan to kill yourself… did you?”

there was a long silence. slowly, you stepped forward, taking the letter out of shinsou's hands. he didn't try to stop you. he just watched, as you tried to find the right words to deal with this situation.

“i… i haven't been feeling well recently” you quietly admit. “it's never been this bad. i can't even get out of bed in the morning and i just thought that maybe–”

suddenly, you felt shinsou's arms wrap around you. he pulled you into a tight hug, clearly not willing to let go of you anytime soon.

“i'm sorry… you should've been able to tell me, but i wasn't there for you. i promise, that i'll always be there to help you. but please, don't make this mistake…”

you couldn't help but tear up at shinsou's words. whether it was guilt, sadness, frustration or embarrassment – one of those emotions led you to tearing up in your boyfriend's arms.

“i… i'm sorry…” you quietly sob.

“i'm not mad at you…” shinsou assured you. “just please, talk to me before you do anything stupid. if it's too much for you to deal with, i'll help you carry your burden! i love you so much, alright? don't ever forget that!”

[slayfics]

Unknown Pleasures Ch.1

You’ve had a crush on Katsuki Bakugo since joining UA, but will another student change your mind?

Warnings: Minor angst

1.2k words

Chapter links

The hum of the engine filled the car as the song stopped and Denki continued driving down the road. The last few weekends had consisted of Denki riling up whoever he could to come out on an adventure in his new car.

You sat in the middle back seat between Hanta and Katsuki, leaning your head against the headrest you let out a heavy sigh. A wave of relief washed over you finally being able to take your mind off responsibilities for a moment.

These random weekend adventures always lifted a weight off your shoulders and allowed you to enjoy your youth.

In the front seat, Hitoshi shifted uncomfortably. Hitoshi was a new addition to your usual cast of shenanigans. Denki had quickly befriended him much to the dismay of Katsuki who detested anyone new.

"What's Kirishima doing tonight?" Hanta asked curiously. Denki fiddled with his phone at a red light attempting to change the song.

"Oh, he is busy with Ashido~," Denki said in a sing-song voice.

"Tch- that's why you picked up this mind freak?" Katsuki huffed, making his disdain for a new face heard.

"Hey play nice blasty!" Denki called back to him.

Katsuki grunted and you giggled pinching his cheek, "Come on don't be rude," You teased.

"Cut it out!" Katsuki yelled smacking your hand away.

The light turned green, and Denki shoved his phone into Hitoshi's hand. "Why don't you be DJ man?" Denki suggested as he focused back on driving.

"You want me to choose a song?" Hitoshi clarified.

"Yeah, go ahead! I want to hear what you usually listen to!" Denki said encouragingly.

Hitoshi fiddled with Denki's phone until selecting the song Atmosphere by Joy Division.

"Oh! I love this song!" You exclaimed and began to sing.

Hitoshi's eyes wandered to the rearview mirror where he caught the reflection of you singing. The calm smile that painted your face as you sang the words perfectly caused his stomach to flutter.

However, the euphoria your playfulness gave him came crashing down when he noticed how your eyes wandered to Katsuki. Your eyes danced as they admired his face as if you were waiting for Katsuki to acknowledge you.

But what if you knew he looked at you the way you longed for Katsuki too?

His stomach only soured the more he observed the interaction. Katsuki's gaze stayed out the window completely indifferent to the softness of your expressions and the longingness in your eyes.

As if your soft features and carefree personality weren't enough to do him in, your voice was intoxicating as well. Hitoshi was sure he could spend a whole day listening to you sing his favorite songs.

Denki's voice infiltrated Hitoshi's daydream shattering his lovely image of you singing just for him.

"Alright, we're here!" Denki announced.

"About fucking time- had enough of being in this stupid car," Katsuki exclaimed and threw open the door exiting eagerly.

Hitoshi's eyes followed your figure as you quickly jumped out after Katsuki. The way the moonlight hit your skin as soon as you stepped out and your features bounced as you happily sprang in excitement forced him to suck in air to ground himself.

"You ready man?" Denki asked, noticing Hitoshi's slowness.

"Yeah," Hitoshi answered, forcing himself to blink away his desires and exit the car.

You five began to walk up a hiking trail. Denki had claimed the view had to be amazing at night, and hiking was one of the only things he could get Katsuki to agree to come to.

Hitoshi was new to the group and hung back observing the four of your interactions. It didn't take long for him to notice your gaze never left Katsuki. He was always in your line of vision and most of all he was the main person you responded to in the conversation. The other two boys might as well not have been there at all in your eyes.

Eventually, the conversation pushed you out as the three boys got into a heated discussion regarding something pointless.

Hitoshi quickened his pace, taking this opportunity to speak more with you.

"Hey," He called out to get your attention.

"Hey general studies~," You teased.

Hitoshi would have corrected you that he was enrolling in the hero course now, but your teasing caught him off guard and it took all his concentration not to be flustered by your comment.

"How are you enjoying the hike so far?" You asked.

"It's fine-," He shrugged his shoulders." So- what usually happens on these night outs?" he asked.

"Hmm- well usually we try to get in as much trouble as we can before Bakugo yells at us to go back," You giggled.

Hitoshi's nose scrunched up at the sound of how you sang out Katsuki's name. Your crush on him was all too evident.

But why?

What did you see in that belligerent blond?

“Are you excited to be in the hero course now?” you asked, snapping Hitoshi out of his thoughts.

“Yes of course. It’s all I’ve ever wanted… I’m especially excited to get to know everyone more.” He stated.

“Oh, that’s funny~ last I remember you said you weren’t here to make friends.” You teased.

Hitoshi flushed slightly at your comment, “Yes, I did say that- however, I find myself particularly excited to get to know you more. Speaking of that- would you like to go out to eat sometime?” He asked.

His words took the breath out of your lungs and froze your footsteps. Hitoshi stopped and turned to face you, taking in your shocked expression. You had never been asked out so straightforward before- nor did you expect it from your new classmate. And then there was your feelings for-…

Hitoshi spoke, bringing you out of your spiraling thoughts.

“It’s Bakugo, isn’t it?” He asked simply.

His words sent you into even more peril. In the brief time Hitoshi has spent with you he had picked up your crush on Katsuki. Was it that obvious?

“Is he your boyfriend?” Hitoshi asked further.

You stuttered like an idiot not knowing how to form a sentence after being so taken off guard. “He- well no he’s not but- I uh- I don’t-,” you tried to get out anything that would make sense. Thankfully, Hitoshi hated seeing you in such discomfort.

“It’s all right. You don’t have to explain, I think I understand. However… if you’re ever tired of waiting for him to appreciate you like he should- I can assure you I’d do a better job.” He spoke.

Your eyes searched his, completely overwhelmed by his boldness. His expression was genuine, calm, and serious. Hitoshi had every intention of laying out his affinity for you honestly and politely. It was unlike anything you had experienced before- and left you speechless.

“The hell are you two doing back there?” Katsuki spewed looking back at you both. In the fleeting moment you two had stopped to speak, the three boys had made some considerable distance.

Hitoshi let out a disgruntled sigh, the angry chihuahua's temper poked at his nerves. It was past cruel that such a vulgar man would have your affection. However, as Hitoshi averted his gaze from you to Katsuki he saw for the first time a quick shimmer of possessiveness in the blond's eyes.

Did Katsuki have some feelings for you after all? Or was it just his ego that appreciated your attention? Whatever the case, the tension that held between the two students was not going to be the last.

Tags: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee

[angeliicheartt]

🐬 "ᴘᴜʟʟ ʜɪᴍ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ!" — send a dialogue prompt and a character and i'll write a blurb!

I'M BACKKK<3 okok hear me out, what if, "you were supposed to be the one" with ur man shinsou hihi 🫶🏻

"ᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴘᴏᴛ."

includes: hitoshi shinso

fem!reader

a/n: ermie reader and toshi are third years in this.. hope u like >:) lowk giving toshi and aizawa the same trauma

you walked side by side with hitoshi, your hands wrapped around his tense arm. the setting sun making the walk’s atmosphere romantic if it weren’t for your nerves brewing a storm of anxiety in the pit of your stomach. 

the two of you were assisting with a semi-big case through your work studies with edgeshot. you were both briefed on the dangers of the mission and were told you could opt out, but the heroes had asked for the two of you to help. the two of you had decided to take on the case, due to the two of you only being a few months away from graduating. and after graduation you would be doing cases like these all the time, so why not get some experience when you can?

your face lit up as you realized where hitoshi was leading the two of you. the both of you approached the park bench where you first spoke to him. it was a small park near UA, only a few blocks to walk.

you were walking to school when you saw hitoshi feeding a stray cat, the cat content with sitting in his lap as it munched. you recognized him from when he fought midoriya at the sports festival, and you’d heard aizawa was training him to be able to transfer into class A.

from the moment you sat down next to him, hitoshi wouldn’t stop thinking of you, often getting himself tangled in his capture scarf during his training, much to aizawa’s dissatisfaction. you began to regularly leave early for school in hopes of finding him at the park, and more often than not you did. 

when the dorms were enforced, you continued to wake up early, going for the short walk to the park to find hitoshi, in his casual clothes, feeding the stray the two of you decided to name “sugar” due to her white coat.

and then hitoshi was admitted into class A for second year and the two of you became closer. you were the first classmate he called his friend, and unknown to you, he acknowledged you as his friend long before.

and sometime between second year’s start and now the two of you had entered a relationship, working alongside each other both in training and at your shared work study.

you sat with hitoshi on the sacred park bench, the tension leaving your body as you take in the familiar scene. the rosy hues of the transitioning sky blanketing the world in a pink hue. 

“we haven’t been here in a while, i thought it could calm our nerves for tomorrow,” hitoshi says as you interlink your hand with his, his lavender eyes peering down at you. 

“well you thought right, i’m much calmer than i was before,” you state, your lips quirking up into a grin and hitoshi returns it with his shy smile. “c’mon toshi.. I can’t still be flustering you like this,”

“you very much can, actually.” he mutters as his head dips to your shoulder, hiding his flushed face in your skin. you laughed at his actions, his heart stuttering at the sound. 

“when are you gonna admit you’re in love with me, hm? only plausible explanation for this shyness to still be around,” you tease, laughing as he scoffs into the skin of your neck. 

“when the time is right, i will.” he murmurs, his free hand moving to play with the ends of your hair as he leans his cheek against your shoulder. 

“well you’ve gotta do it here, this is our spot.” you say, this exact spot was where you’d really met hitoshi, where he’d asked you to be his girlfriend. it was your spot.

panic filled hitoshi as your mangled body laid only a few feet in front of that same park bench. the mission had gone wrong. hitoshi tried to piece together the pieces of knowledge he could muster from his cloudy head. the villain you guys were trying to take down had struck you midair, launching you all the way to your park. 

you gasped for breath as the gash across your torso seeped blood. your right arm was twisted at an unnatural angle, the sight unnerving. your left hand shakily moved to your stomach, feeling the warm substance spilling from the wound. you winced as it grazed over the injury. 

you let your head drop, but before it could hit the ground hitoshi’s hand was cradling it. he pulled you to him, holding you in his own shaking arms. your hazy eyes could just make out his messy, violet hair and his pinched brows.

“toshi..” you gasped, your chest heaving as you fought for breath. his eyes darted from your gushing wound to your eyes, one of his hands moving to cup your cheek.

“yeah, yeah, im here,” he whispers, his lips curving into an uneasy smile. “what do you need?”

“just..” you’re cut off by a cough, one where you can taste the metallic taste of blood in the back of your throat. “just.. you,” you whisper. you feel your eyes drooping, and your vision gets hazier, but you force them open, for hitoshi.

“i alerted UA, they're gonna come get you, okay? and you’ll be fine..” he whispers, his eyes glossing over. he knows you two are a good ten minutes away from the school by foot, and you were already seriously injured before you were knocked across the sky.

“hitoshi..” you murmur, your left hand moves from your blood-soaked uniform to cup hitoshi’s against your cheek. the dark red substance stains his hand. “you’ll..” a wheeze. “be okay.. right?”

hitoshi’s eyebrows furrow, his hold you growing tighter. “yes, i’ll be fine, y/n, and so will you, okay? just hang on,” his voice falters, his tone growing more and more panicked. 

you inhaled sharply, your breaths becoming more and more ragged. your lungs burned, your insides screamed at the pain echoing through your torso. they weren’t going to get here in time.

“toshi..” you murmur, your hand moving from his to cup his cheek, his face now stained in your blood as a tear drops down his cheek. “i’ve.. gotta go, okay?”

“no.. no no you can’t, you can’t. you were supposed to be the one..” you feel his chest rise and fall against your side, your own chest struggling to do so. 

“i love you..” you whispered, your lips quivering in a blissful smile as the pain finally dissipated. hitoshi tugged you closer to him, his body almost enveloping yours. “i love you, y/n.” he whispers into your hair, his tears falling freely as he feels your body stop. he feels the life leave you.

after a few minutes he hears the heroes from UA rushing toward him, aizawa at the head of the pack before they all stop a few feet away.

“she’s gone, mr. aizawa..”

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @satelitis @whenanafallsinlove @kozumesphone @tikitsune

[vesterport]

Shock Waves - chapter 54

chapter title: it feels so scary getting old

tags: noncon, PTSD, torture, kidnapping, hurt/comfort

Shinsou.

She closes her eyes, and she can picture the first time she laid eyes on him. She still remembers how frightened he looked, even when he was asleep. She can still feel the terrified wave of protectiveness that swelled in her chest.