#but I won't make any promises
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Anotheropti's Kinktober 2024
Another year, another October full of femslash! This list will work like last year as a schedule, and I'll fill it out with links as the month progresses, but I won't pin it like last time.
I wrote mostly BG3 this year, but I decided to add in a couple non-BG3 fics. They're fandoms you might be familiar with, so hopefully you'll come along for the ride.
Ships, prompts, and dates below the cut 💜
For people that need context, Asheera is my primary Tav. I write a lot of fic about my favorite half-orc paladin that you can read on AO3.
October 1 — Aylin/Isobel (Body Worship)
October 3 — Aylin/Isobel/Shadowheart (Voyeurism)
October 5 — Asheera/Shadowheart (Rope Bondage)
October 7 — Karlach/Shadowheart (Modern AU + Gunplay)
October 9 — Minthara/Lae'zel (Leather)
October 12 — Asheera/Shadowheart (Strap-ons)
October 14 — [Pathfinder WOTR] Arueshalae/Knight Commander (Praise Kink)
October 16 — Asheera/Shadowheart (Biting + Bruising)
October 18 — [Dragon Age: Inquisition] Adaar/Sera (Face sitting)
October 22 — Asheera/Shadowheart (Wax Play)
October 24 — Minthara/Shadowheart (Fisting)
October 26 — Asheera/Shadowheart (Semi-public sex)
October 28 — [Divinity: Original Sin 2] Lohse/Sebille (Gloves + Blood)
October 30 — Asheera/Shadowheart (Secret free day prompt)
#bg3 fanfiction#femslash#kinktober 2024#kinktober#my fic#anotheropti's kinktober 2024#← tag I'll be using on link posts#I'll make a series like last year#this could end up like last year where I write a few Surprise Fics on those days where I've got nothing else to do...#but I won't make any promises
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Hi ho, its 🗿 nonnie, how are u hehe, is the smut fic cooking??
Hi, nonnie! Thank you for asking!
I have been very busy - my supervisor took a week off to get her baby's nursery ready, so I was on my own for the whole week for the first time 😬 (there are not enough fingers to count how many times I felt nervous, but * I think * I did well enough).
Because of that, and the fact that I started this new job around three weeks ago, my time for writing has been non-existent - my priority is my job, studying cases and developing materials for the sessions and it takes up almost all of my free time right now.
Like so, I'm afraid there won't be much writing here, or at least not in the way there used to be 🫠
I hope you're well too 😊✨️
#I'm going to try and write something today#see what comes out of this brain#but i won't make any promises#🗿nonnie
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Ghosts S02E17 | Weekend from Hell
#ghosts#cbs ghosts#isaac#thorfinn#pete#brandon scott jones#devan long#richie moriarty#mygif#i want to gif more from this episode#but i won't make any promises
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Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
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if you’re still taking requests, could you draw gabellie please :3 ?? i love them smsm
Them!! Gabellie my beloved <3
#I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AHHH!!! Thank you for the request!!#disventure camp#disventure camp all stars#dcas#disventure camp fanart#disventure camp gabby#disventure camp ellie#gabellie#my art#their lack of screentime is genuinely criminal... smh#I'm also still taking requests! tho I won't make any promises :")
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Redraw 3/3 (2024->2019)
#undertale au#utmv#goth sans#palette roller#poth ship#if i show u my old art most of it won't make any logical sense compositionally OR aesthetically#like what was i going for with that old one...#i changed it up in the redraw cuz im silly like that but i promise I'll redraw it without any changes one day#i think it'll be worth putting in a museum tbh#u guys better remember me when i pull up into a gallery under the pseudonim d1knb@lls499 and wreck everyone's minds with my artistic prowess#im still not over how cringe i was back in the day and how annoying i most likely was with my art but honestly??#i don't care?? i was having fun back then and that's like awesome??
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swap au or something
ekko -> viktor
viktor -> jinx
jinx -> ekko
i read this fic and got inspired. it doesn't follow the canon to it but it inspired me (do check it out though it's really cool)
if you got any au questions then throw em at me (i've only watched arcane once tho so i might not have answers)
(more in the tags)
#diinoposting#yippee diino art#random au ideas#arcane swap au#arcane#ekko arcane#jinx arcane#viktor arcane#forgot to add#viktor gets 2 hexclaws for braid equivalent#they also are what he uses the stolen hextech to power#as like equivalent also to jinx's guns and weapons#it's cool#ekko here still becomes machine herald in place of vik#it's less religiony but he is still saviour in the eyes of the healed#jinx at first still quite likes bombs but switched to more defensive weapons after creating the firelights#definitely will still create time travel too#jayvik probably won't happen in this au except for maybe really later. they kinda fought at the start and it was pretty irreversable#viktor hates jayce and piltover with a passion because viktor created a bomb and was gonna use it on enforcers but jayce thinks now that al#-zaunites are chaotic and violent. he doesn't want to work with someone who's making bombs that will kill their beloved police force#this is like really far back tho. a couple years or so after viktor's boat scene. so it's not exactly fully rational thought yet#since they got small child brains (in terms of development and core values. they're still both super smart)#then since hears their argument and viktor accidentally sets off the bomb. jayce retreats and takes their main notebook back to piltover.#singed i mean. typo#meanwhile vik gets adopted by silco who promises that jayce and the rest of piltover will see his potential someday (likely violently tbfr)#the bomb and the boat are currently his best work and silco sees use in all of it. the bombs are well. bombs. but the boat has really well#-made mechanisms which can be used for other stuff#i think im gonna stop rambling in the tags now lol#any questions feel free to ask cause this idea has definitely split off from it's source inspiration#ok thanks gang
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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I really love that I've now been called misogynist AND racist for shipping Rylan, in subtweets (subtumbls?) from people I've never even interacted with. I genuinely do find it hilarious because, to paraphrase the immortal words of Fall Out Boy, I typically don't care what you think as long as it's about me. :3
But this is getting kinda weird and personal and if you think I won't hear what you say about me just because you've blocked me specifically then you must be new.
I'm sorry, who was unnecessarily nasty? Because I haven't seen anyone be nasty in this very oblique conversation until now.
For what it's worth, in case anyone with two braincells to rub together was confused (not that they would be), I don't 'have a fetish for gay men' (which is something I feel like only a homophobe would say, but I tend to try not to call names until someone does it to me). I just feel the chemistry between those two characters that's very clearly intended in the script and performances. The arc of their relationship is deeply wholesome and sweet, and that kiss at the campfire is one of the cutest things I've ever seen in a video game. Also Dylan and Ryan sparked something in me that I honestly thought was dead, reminded me that I was full of stories when I was in a very, very dark place in my life and I will love them for that forever. And I've already promised another 100k of fic about them so anyone who has a problem with that can die mad I guess stay tuned for that.
This is a silly thing to fight about and I should be above getting heated over internet shipping wars and responding to insults from unserious people. But when they turn into personal attacks for no good reason? I guess I'm not. I don't want anyone to change what they ship or what they write, I only want them to stop being so smug and superior while willfully misinterpreting the canon and accusing others of the same and so much worse.
#the quarry#I swear I'm actually a nice person#but everyone has their limits#every bunny is 90% fluff and 10% pointy teeth#that's a scientific fact#why the fuck you Lyan#Rylan#Ryan x Dylan#G@y people are not a f3tish#never say that shit again for real#has it occurred to you that many of us ARE GAY you absolute turnip??? Do you have a f3tish for heterosexuals??#dumb censoring because of tumblr#anyway I'm going to make Ryan and Dylan make out in the Sims for an hour now#and I'm gonna dedicate it to you#“makes me not want to be a part of the community anymore” GIRL BYE ✌️#I promise I won't clog up the tag with any more drama. This is my final word. Only fluff and smut and headcanons and good stuff after this.#like none of the ships ‘happen’ except LauraMax?#because they didn’t finish the game??#fandom wank
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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Panel de PUNK- Fairy of Flowers, Lip!
This one is for all the Panel de Pon fans out there! Yes, all three of you!! :D
...I kid, I kid. ^^; But yeah, I assume most people don't know about this obscure Nintendo puzzle game that wasn't even legally available to play outside of Japan until *checks notes* 3 years ago...even though its initial release was in 1995... I mean, I didn't know much about it until I watched this playthrough-- but once I did, I instantly fell in love. It looks like just the kind of thing I would have been OBSESSED with when I was 11, with its girly aesthetic and cute magical characters~
Which is why I wanted to draw them...although I couldn't quite find the inspiration to do it until I changed the aesthetic up a bit. ^^ I see it as just a cosmetic change though; like Lip would still have the same kiddy dialogue and personality, it's just that now she actually looks like she might be going to Death Mountain to defeat the Demon King. :]
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alright everybody can we please stop tagging me/talking about me in the notes of pro keefe/sokeefe posts. i know strieefe has made it so that it's really funny to talk about how much i love him and how much i'm in denial when i say negative things about him under those posts (and that's all in good fun and not the problem), but we have to think about the fact that the ops are just trying to make a positive post and probably don't want a keefe hater in their notes /srs
#i'm not mad or anything like that. promise. it's just a phenomenon i've noticed that has slowly started becoming a trend#it just becomes increasingly difficult to respond in a way that stays true to my opinions while ALSO trying not to offend op#so i usually end up ignoring those mentions or reblogging with like “no comment” or something. which isn't fun for anybody#i've had this happen more than once by more than one person. this is a pro keefe/sokeefe post why are we talking about me of all people#i don't want to offend op with my inevitable anti keefe opinions. talking about keefe haters on a pro keefe post is . . . a choice#i make an effort to try to stay out of pro keefe/sokeefe spaces. trust me when i say i have seen whatever post you're tagging me in#i'm a kotlc tag stalker to the core. i have SEEN these posts don't worry. i just don't interact with them. that's all#when i see them i am definitely tempted to go on a rant about how wrong op is about sophie and keefe's dynamic and how it actually SUCKS#or how much keefe is a shitty character with a poorly written arc and atrocious six-year-old humor. i have written about this AT LENGTH#but guys. the notes of a pro keefe post is NOT the place to be summoning me of all people. what do you even want me to say#i've been @ed on posts like “i love sokeefe” “keefe sencen. you agree. reblog” “people that don't understand sokeefe just don't get it”#<- all fake examples btw. but close enough to real posts i've been summoned to#and it's like. i mean yes i COULD go on a rant about how much i thoroughly disagree. but like. it's just not polite. so i won't#atp how am i even supposed to respond to your mention? i don't even know#on top of that if i reblog a pro keefe post with an anti keefe response for all my probably mostly anti keefe followers to see----#----then they'll agree with me. that version will get reblogged and soon there might be more people on op's post that disagree with them#okay this got way more incoherent than originally intended. hopefully it got the point across. and so on#just things to think about! nothing wrong with @ing me on keefe posts just think about how you want me to respond before @ing me----#----or if i will even be able to respond in any real capacity at all#kotlc#kotlc fandom#keepblr
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Snippet 1.4
Previous
The next morning, Henchman sat in the infirmary of Villain's Headquarters, the atmosphere as thick as smoke. Henchman figured Villain let slip to someone what they were planning to do the Henchman as a punishment for what they'd done, or maybe even details of how they'd be tortured or killed, or maybe even thrown out for the heroes to round up like a stray dog, most likely with their tongue cut out and hands broken so they didn't stand a chance at revealing anything they'd learned about Villain
They didn't really know anything useful for the heroes anyway. They knew Villain's favorite color (dark blue), favorite foods (anything with chocolate), allergies (blueberries), their least favorite movie genre (horror) and a couple other things they picked up from being around Villain so much.
They learned why Villain didn't get on well with their parents (they very much had a favorite child and it wasn't Villain) and what'd brought on their anger towards the Hero Agency once Villain brought them into their confidence, sure, but they didn't know much more about plans then the average civilian--that would be Right Hand. Their actual duties consisted of watching over supplies, managing other henchmen and keeping an eye on the overall workings of Headquarters.
Henchman hoped that taking down Hero would make Villain proud of them. Would make them allow Henchman into their inner circle and bring them into their confidence. They'd hoped to get as close to Villain as Right Hand--closer, after bringing down Hero. And instead, they'd suffered two humiliating defeats (and several broken ribs).
It all came to a head when Medic came in to check on Henchman's stitches. in addition to the blunt force trauma of being thrown through a window and into a wall, glass shards stuck into their back and left jagged, stinging wounds that oozed blood well into the night. Henchman sat on their cot, facing away from Medic as their wounds were inspected and re-dressed, and even then they could feel the hesitation Medic's hands, which were usually sure and quick.
Silence hung in the room like a dead man.
"What are they gonna do?" Henchman asked in a croaky voice, just barely above a whisper.
Medic paused. Considered. "What?"
"Villain. What are they gonna do to me?"
Again, they were met with silence. Henchman was sure the stress was worse than any answer Medic could've given until... Medic laughed. They laughed. It wasn't a snort or a scoff, or even a giggle--and they didn't even try to hide it! Medic stepped back for a moment, cackling as Henchman's stomach dropped. Of all the answers they were expecting, that was one they hadn't prepared for in the slightest.
"Oh, God, I needed that. You're hysterical."
"I'm being serious!" Henchman whirled around half way before the agony from the mess that somehow made up their abdomen sent lightning-hot reminders of why that was a horrible idea.
"Stop it, you're gonna hurt yourself," Medic scolded lightly, laughter still dancing in their eyes. "Have you really been stressed about that the whole time?"
"YES!" Henchman was near screaming now, though they weren't sure if it was ager or confusion that raised their voice. "Why wouldn't I be? Did you see how furious Villain was before they left? And I haven't seen them since. I left without permission and acted without orders; they have every reason to be upset. And everyone and everything's been so quiet today, it's like I've been handed down a death sentence."
Medic cleared their throat and the last embers of amusement flickered out. "Yeah, well, you're right about that, but you're not the one in danger. Or at least, you weren't when it mattered."
The tone of Medic's voice was dead serious--terrifying--and didn't help the growing pit of anxiety that had hunkered down in Henchman's stomach. They felt like they were going to pass out, woozy and dizzy and like the world was tipping out from under them.
A sharp snap under their nose anchored them a little more steadily to the bed they were sitting on, Medic having circled around the cot to look Henchman in the eyes. "You're fine, relax. The rest of us weren't supposed to tell you because it was bad, even for Villain, but I don't think you're in for anything more than a slap on the wrist, and neither does anyone else."
And they wouldn't understand that even if Henchman wasn't going to be killed, as thankful for that as they were, even a slap on the wrist as Medic said would destroy everything Henchman had been working towards. Everything they'd been hoping for. They should've known going into the fight that they were putting Villain's trust in them on the line, and they had--to a point.
They never expected they would fail as horribly as they did, nor that Villain would react with the kind of quiet fury usually reserved for their rare interactions with heroes or other members of the Agency itself. They hadn't expected to be sent to the infirmary the way that they were, or to be teleported directly to it from an alley just off the main scene of the fight after barely getting away.
And what they really weren't expecting was what hurt most: The fact that Villain had put them here and walked off without another word. They'd spoken in their office, but beyond that, there wasn't even a threatening note, or a warning given through Medic. They'd been effectively put in time out, knowing what might be coming but not having enough confidence to really prepare themselves one way or another.
“Hey, what did I just say?” Medic says, this time with annoyance in their tone. “Even if I don’t know the details, I know you’re gonna be fine, okay? You’re gonna be fine, and I don’t think you’re clocking Villain’s feelings towards what you did to Hero as correctly as you think you are, yeah?”
Their assessment was fair, if not a little stinging. They’d never been good at reading people, but they’d hoped Villain was the exception. Even with their monotone voice and often stony demeanor, Henchman knew how tired they were in a glance after a fight; knew when to call for Medic or coffee or let them get straight to their personal rooms and block everyone else from entering–something Right Hand was usually supposed to do.
The entire night, they’d tried not to deliberate too much on Right Hand. They’d tried to ignore the stinging jealousy of the fact that there was already someone that was so close to Villain they could almost read their thoughts. They knew Villain kept a certian amount of professionalism and distance between themselves and Right Hand that didn’t seem to be present between Villain and Henchman, but most liekly because it wasn’t seen as necessary. They weren’t close enough for it to matter in the first place.
“Okay,” Henchman murmured, and one look at Meidc’s face made it clear to even them that they didn’t beleive them for a second. Nevertheless, Medic stepped away.
“Okay,” they echoed, with much more confidence. “You seem to be healing well, all things considered, and I have other patients I need to take care of, so I’m going to leave you here, okay? Try not to freak out too much on me, yeah?”
Henchman gave a weak nod, and an even weaker smile. They were sure that Medic could see them spiraling form the outside, but if they did, they didn’t say anything about it. “Yeah.”
Next
Tagging: @nameless-beanie @crow-with-a-typewriter @mylovelyme (If you wanted to be tagged and weren't please just poke me with a stick)
#heroes and villains#short story#snippet#villains and heroes#villain#writing snippet#henchman#villain x henchman#supervillian#TW injury#Henchman got their ass beat (again)#This one got a little out of hand#hope it was worth the wait#Will hopefully be posting soon but the last time I said that it was kinda a lie so I won't make any promises#Meant to post this yesterday but my internet was down for some reason#choose your own adventure#SPOILER: hero got their ass beat too
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i love reading haikyuu tiktok shipping discourse comment sections. it's so entertaining seeing so many people with such bad taste.
#it's always the exact same shit every time too#“name a ship everyone ships but you hate” and it's always kurootsukki oikage atsuhina and tsukkikage#like with the amount of times i've seen those ships mentioned in that context i'm starting to believe that NO ONE ships them actually#how is atsuhina hate so common when 2AM mac n cheese literally exists#everyone's excuse is always 1 of 3 things: “i ship kagehina” “i ship sakuatsu” or “they're just friends”#guys... i hate to be the bearer or bad news.... but all three of these things can coexist#you can ship atsuhina AND sakuatsu AND kagehina... AND atsuhina can be besties#i mean i'm out here shipping tobio with half the fucking cast#these aren't real people. it's all about what makes you the happiest at that given moment#today i ship tsukikage. yesterday i shipped kagehina. tomorrow i will probably ship yamakage. WHO GIVES A FUCK#it boggles my mind that there are people out there who won't consider any other ship because they've already set their mind on one#HAIKYUU HAS AN INSANE LINEUP. YOU CAN'T SHIP JUST ONE#i saw someone who was scared to admit they shipped suna and atsumu......... guys#it's not that serious i promise#ALSO THE TERUYAMA HATE I SAW#“they haven't even met” BOOOOOORINGGGGG BOO BOO TOMATO TOMATO#fuck it. i'm gonna start shipping kiyoko with kanoka. kanokiyo. my new otp#kanokiyoyachi. my new fave ship. 100k mutual pining hurt/comfort slowburn coming soon to an ao3 page near you#we need to release ourselves from the chains of hatred and start getting crazier with this cast#haikyuu has too much shipping potential for y'all to be shipping the same 5 ships#lets get poly with it. shall we?#THE KAGEHINATSUKKIYAMA GRIND STARTS NOW💪#ASADAISUGA GANG WE RIDE AT DAWN🗣️#ATSUHINAKAGE AND/OR ATSUOIKAGE BRETHEREN WE DEPART AT HIGH NOON🔥#FUKUYAKUKUROKEN SHIPPERS OUR TIME IS NOW🦞#sigh.......... you guys get it#volleyball guys
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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first and last post i'll make like this but guilty gear fans are literally so annoying. if you're upset over venom getting in and not robo-ky you're literallyyyy just being racist. i don't know how to phrase it but if you're posting about how a literaly flying head deserves a spot on the roster over a brown man you;re kind of insane. sorry that your misogyny robot isn't relevant in the game any more after they completely wrapped up his story in xrd (where he had a full 3D model and still wasn't playable mind you!) by blowing him up and leaving only his head behind lol.
#i promise i won't make posts about guilty gear fandom any more but this specific section of it is making me insane <3#you won't hear anything about this from me any more.. promise#ALSO people being upset over a crossover character as if a crossover character wasn't the highest voted option on the poll from like 2 year#ago. ha ha.
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