#but I was still happy bc I got followers and a bit of feedback out of it

[evansbby]

what was the first smut u wrote on this blog

this one

[ferrstappen]

the first time we broke up l Lando Norris

a/n: im sad so I wrote something sad? imsorry lol. feedback is always appreciated, and if you like this please let me know bc this is a story I have a pt 2 in mind <3 also, we are soon to reach 1k? on my side blog? OMG <3

pairing: Lando Norris x female reader

warnings: a teeny tiny mention of sex if you squint real hard, swear words.

words: 2.7k

genre: fluff, angst, everything tbh.

summary: it was easy to remember how you and Lando fell in love, but it kept getting harder for you to remember why you love him.

You didn’t fall for Lando Norris right after you saw him for the first time. 

He was a bit shy, easily flushed, but the glint in his grey eyes never failed to appear whenever he saw you. 

You didn’t meet him with the thousands of people following him, girls trying to get his attention, a garage with his name written in big letters. 

No, his racing career was a bit under wraps in your neighborhood. Yes, everyone knew the youngest Norris boy was into racing and had a promising future, but he still was the boy they’d seen grow up, nothing out of the ordinary. 

You joined Millfield right after he dropped out to focus on his career, but somehow your circles combined and were eventually introduced to each other just as teenagers. 

Lando didn’t exactly chase you, neither did he say anything to you; he was content with the way your gentle eyes met him, eyebrows raised while listening to one of his stories racing. Lando was sure he was sleek, covering his feelings.

Well, it’s not like he exactly knew about feelings. He was a teenager, getting accustomed to the weird twist in his stomach whenever he was told you were coming to a reunion, the inevitable way the corners of his mouth shifted when he noticed you, the glimmer in his eyes when you noticed him. 

You were oblivious as well. Maybe the feelings weren’t as clear as those of the curly haired boy with a passion for racing, but he made you happy as a friend. His presence gave you a tranquil sensation, you could listen to his stories, the drama between his mates on racing, the country he visited last week… you never realized when you began needing those stories, those eyes, those curls, to make your day, your week, your month. 

You remember vividly when he got to the coffee shop where you always met, this time just the two of you, completely unaware your mutual friends denied your invitations in order for either you or Lando to make the first move. 

Only one person in the group bet on Lando, everyone´s money was on you to make the move… if only you recognized the feelings. 

There was an unknown pep on his step when he saw you already sitting on the corner booth, and his smile only grew bigger when you told him you’d already ordered for him. 

His usual. 

You knew what Lando liked. You paid attention to him. 

That realization, that you knew him, you observed him enough to know how he liked his tea, how he always ordered a fresh orange juice because he needed something 

cold. It stirred something in him, Lando couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something shifted; the twisting was more intense, his heart beating faster, his hands getting clammy, his throat blocked because his brain was ordering to let his feelings out in the open. 

But he didn’t do anything until you left the small café, and that’s where you got the answer for his happy and almost childish demeanor.

A black mini, with tinted windows and everything. 

He asked if you liked it, coyly resting his body on the passenger door, keys carelessly dangling on his index finger. You laughed, loudly, asking how was he going to drive if he didn’t even know the street signs.

He shrugged you off, reminding you he’s an almost professional racer. 

Still, you pretended to be terrified when he switched the ignition and the engine roared, driving you home. 

This time, as you watched him drive you through the gloomy English skies, the same twist in the stomach, the closing of your throat, hands itching to touch him.

And you did. 

Lando didn’t try to hide his enormous grin when your hand was placed on his knee, then finding a more stable place over his hand on the stick console. 

He stopped the car in front of your house, the iron gate half covering the large family home, green filled your surroundings. All these details never left you; the humid window, water droplets running through the iron gate, the grass was greener after the rain last night, his shaky hands running through his curls every five seconds, his eyes finding your own as your name left his lips, even if he didn’t exactly know what to say.

Time stopped when you kissed for the first time. 

It was cliché, but it was true. 

The first kiss with someone you liked; the start of something new and exciting, the beginning of your first love. 

And it continued just like that. 

Movie dates, Lando masking his fear when meeting your father when he was just arriving from work, his mum telling you to wait for him upstairs because he was running late. 

Falling in love with Lando was easy, too easy maybe. Lando Norris was easy to love, with his boyish grin, the mischievous glint in his eyes when he made you laugh, the tears escaping his beautiful eyes when something was too funny, the way he clutched his stomach because laughing physically hurt him.

He always went all in, never trying to pretend something he wasn’t, never masking his feelings. 

Lando shared the same feelings, but maybe he fell in love with you before he was aware of it. Perhaps it happened after you dedicated him a bright smile, the way your facial expressions changed when he told you a story, feeling lucky during a weekend trip to Brighton where you let him be the first one to really love you, to truly be vulnerable with. 

Those weekends watching movies and playing Call of Duty, falling asleep with your hand on his hair, waking up every once in a while with your leg over his middle, surprising you on a school day to pick you up on his black mini whenever a race calendar was changed. 

Then, he was offered his first seat in Formula One for McLaren. 

You jumped into his arms, screaming with joy as his parents joined you in the living room, his tear stained cheeks knowing it was official. 

You don’t know how it happened, you’d been together for two years already when he was announced as the new driver, and maybe you were too young and naïve to think the only thing that would change was the distance after he moved near the McLaren headquarters, his calendar messier and tighter. 

You didn’t bother him to ask what you should wear to the first appearance on the paddock. Maybe jeans and a blouse would be okay for Friday, a long floral dress on Saturday to match the warm aussie weather, but Sunday…

When you voiced the concerns to your girlfriends they immediately got to work, marking a date on the calendar to go shopping. Your mum did the same, even offering to take you and the girls to London for the weekend. Money wasn’t an issue, you just wanted to look worthy of being there, the girlfriend of a Formula 1 driver. 

You stayed up all night studying other girlfriends. You checked Isabel Hernáez who always looked angelical and casual, freely using the merch of her boyfriend’s team. Giada Gianni gave you more inspiration with one colored suits, ankle length dresses, white jeans. Cate mas more into black leather, ripped denim shorts and high heels. Maybe you’d take inspiration from a pregnant Kelly Piquet, with cute dresses with denim jackets and jumpsuits.

Getting to know people on the team was easy, everyone was friendly and took time getting to know your name, shaking hands, introducing you to other members, but you didn’t really see Lando. 

Of course you didn’t, he was busy preparing for the race. 

But you didn’t see him afterwards; he didn’t look for you after the press point. At least his parents were there as well and they didn’t know about his whereabouts. 

He arrived to shared hotel room, throwing his body on the bed. You could see him still trying to process his first weekend on F1, not being on the sidelines but a protagonist, a star. 

But you were already wearing your pajamas. 

He never saw your outfit. 

The season went by and you don’t really know the moment where you sighed after not getting a text, a facetime call, an emoji. 

It was blank. 

College was kicking your ass, all of your friends were dealing with the same, and you wanted to lean in your boyfriend, to tell him you were tired, stressed and sad because you missed him, but never really got the chance because most of the time it was his assistant who picked up the phone and said she was going to remind Lando to call you. 

You weren’t oblivious enough to ignore the lacing pity on the woman’s voice, because she did rely the message every time, but Lando forgot every time. 

Or maybe he didn’t care.

The first time it ended, you expected it. It hadn’t been one of those situations where the boy notices his girl is drifting away and by all means necessary tries to win her back or remind her why he was the right guy for her. 

He didn’t even notice your absence in the last races of the calendar. Why would he? He didn’t pay attention to you even when you were there cheering for him, so why would you bother to fly across different continents if you’d only see him on a fancy hotel room where he fell asleep and be gone the next morning. 

Your friends started looking the relationship with other eyes, mixed feelings, not being able to ignore the mood swings whenever your phone vibrated and it wasn’t him. 

They also knew you saw the different fan accounts with his name, posting pictures of different women leaning in his ear and a grin decorating his features. 

It was the same grin, the same twinkle. Maybe he was more confident now and didn’t want to settle, because in your eyes, if he stayed with you he was settling for the easy, the known, the familiar. But maybe he could do better than that, perhaps he deserved the new, the exciting, the adventure. 

You don’t know when you took the decision, maybe when he called to tell you he was home and to come over to plan the Christmas presents.

And it gave you hope; of course he was going to be overwhelmed during his first season, it was a new life doing what he loved, and people seemed to really like him as well. 

He greeted you with a smile and quick peck, lacing his fingers with yours and walking upstairs of his family home. You greeted his family on the way, his younger sister announcing she needed your help with a school project, but Lando told her it was his time with you.

And your smile grew bigger, hand tightening around his.

Nothing prepared you for what was to come, though.

He said it so nonchalantly, like it was nothing, just a small relocation. 

Lando kept walking about thisnew apartment McLaren was paying for him; he could even have a yacht almost parked in front of his new apartment.

It was the dream for any twenty-year-old.

But you knew you didn’t have a part in that, because it didn’t take an expert to know how it was going to end. 

This wasn’t the case where everything would be fine because both people were just so sure in the relationship, not because they loved each other, but because they trusted and complemented each other. 

And that wasn’t the case for you and Lando anymore. So when you told him the words I think we should take some time, he didn’t take it too well.

Lando was blindsided, he felt betrayed and hurt and angry just by the fact you thought of needing some time away from him. He wasn’t aware of everything you’d done to try to fit into his lifestyle; the cameras, luxury, lack of stability. 

He didn’t slow his voice or quiet his tone. No. He got up from his spot on the bed and asked how you could do such thing to him, why if he’s been nothing but a loving boyfriend, and he couldn’t believe how selfish you were being, leaving him because things got harder than expected.

It wasn’t easy to smile through the tears flooding your eyes, even if it was a painful smile, but it was liberating to let him know everything you’d done for him; moving, studying in planes and uncomfortable airports, humiliating yourself with his assistant because he simple didn’t care, the sympathetic DMs announcing he was seen with a girl last night, they didn’t do anything but seemed really close. You got one of those messages every other week when you didn’t join him. 

He scoffed, tried to ridicule you, trying to express his feelings the best way an immature twenty year old could do.

“I don’t want to take some time, I don’t care about that. If you want to break up then that’s what we do. That way I don’t have to wory about giving explanations of whatever I choose to do,” His eyes didn’t meet yours, but it wasn’t because he was sad or anything, it was because he was angry with the situation, with you, and with him, even if he didn’t realize that part yet. “When did you become so selfish, you couldn’t wait a couple of weeks or even days after I got home? You are aware of that, right? I’m home with my family for the first time in fucking forever, and you decide to break up, fuck you.” 

You knew you wouldn’t be able to hold it inside much longer; vision blurry from the tears, lungs trying their best to keep breathing with the thick knot on your throat. 

And that’s when you knew it was over, because you didn’t want to fight. You didn’t want to make your point to him, knowing he wouldn’t understand. 

That was the first time you and Lando broke up.

[keysmashingfantasies]

Hi! I absolutely love your fics and since AiB S2 had just ended, I was hoping you would take a Chishiya fic request. I'm a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope and was thinking it could be incorporated in the Jack of Hearts game (basically reader and Chishiya have no choice but to trust each other despite their differences). Amidst their tension, since they need to trust each other, both Chishiya and reader get to understand the other over time. Maybe a bit of angsty fluff?

Merry Christmas (if you celebrate) and Happy Holidays! I hope you get to enjoy this season of festivities!

hi! merry (belated) christmas and happy new year! i hope you got to enjoy the holidays too! here's your request! ❤️ feedback is always welcome and encouraged! i didn't do a explicit lovers situation, i left it open (bc lowkey im thinking of a pt 2) but i hope you can enjoy it nonetheless!

First, you were transported to that godforsaken world.

Then, you were made to play to get days to live.

And after that, you landed on a game of hearts where a rat tried to sell you out to save himself.

And a few days later, a bunch of zeppelins with face cards started to fly around and to avoid being shot until you turned to puree, you had to go on a game inside a prison complex to participate in yet another hearts game with the same rat that tried to use you to survive.

Just great.

You thought you'd just avoid him at first. He must be so used to fucking people over he doesn't even remember me, it's what you thought at first, but then his eyes met yours and they shone with amusement. He remembered you and didn't even look remotely embarrassed or guilty, in fact, he looked quite smug. It made your blood boil.

You decided to make your way over after you saw Chishiya leaning to murmur something in another player's ear. After sizing the boy in the overalls that looked absolutely terrified, you came to the conclusion that there was no better way to end Chishiya than to prevent him to be able to manipulate people.

You placed yourself on the other side of the boy, leaning on the wall opposite to Chishiya. "Hey", you spoke lowly. "Don't listen to him. He lies", you said. Chishiya raised his eyebrows, surprised. You remembered him after all.

"Huh?", the boy looked frantically back and forth as you and Chishiya as you stared each other down. You, boiling in fury and him smug as always.

"Ah, don't be too quick to take her word for it. It's your word against mine, after all. The game barely even started and here you are, already trying to get ahead. By what we know, you may be the Jack after all", he said, and the boy took an wobbly step to stand next to him.

"As if I'm the Jack. For all purposes, it could be you too. Aren't you used to leading people astray to their deaths?", you said, and Chishiya's face fell a bit, making you feel triumphant. He tried to sold you and accused you of being the Jack? The audacity.

He was about to open his mouth when another thing caught both of yours attention. A girl, dressed cutely, seemingly collecting players.

She came to your direction, standing in front of the three of you. "Do you want to play with us?", she said. Her fake smile grinded your gears even more, but you did your best to reciprocate. "But of course!"

"I'll play with you too", said Chishiya.

"Can't get rid of you, can I?", you grit out as you followed the group downstairs.

"We shall see", he said in a flat tone.

-

The game was nearing the end.

Your only ally, a woman in a red cardigan was led astray by the girl with the fake smile and cutesy dress, that in turn was betrayed by her own group. And now the group was getting smaller and smaller. There was Banda and a skittish boy with a fringe, and a couple. And you and Chishiya.

You eyed them all suspiciously. The game wasn't over, which meant the Jack was still among you. While you were looking around, trying to pretend you weren't straining your ears to listen to their conversation, Chishiya approached you.

"Do you know what they were doing before the game started?", he said, amused. You shook your head, not wanting to give him the time of day, but still listening with attention.

"Having sex. Inside one of the cells. He has full control over her", he said nonchalantly. "They'll do anything for each other. And the one right there, Banda. A serial killer, I saw on the news. Must've been a relief for him, being sent here...", he talked to you like someone talked about the weather, like you weren't in a death trap of a game.

"What do you want? For me to believe you? As if that's possible", you stood up, talking to him as quietly as possible. After all, it was best if the others thought you had an ally still. Even though you'd rather eat glass than to trust him with your life. "What? Want me to be like her?", you subtly nodded in the direction of the woman, that was absolutely entranced and attentive to everything the man was saying as if it was gospel. But it was probably a bunch of bullshit. "To follow you around until I'm useful to be bait?", earlier you were fuming but now you were just tired. Tired of dealing with all of this, and tired of seeing his face. Before, you wanted to beat him to a pulp for doing what he did. Now, you just wanted a peaceful and hidden place with food and maybe some rain for you to shower with.

"You're still mad at me for that?", he said. The game consisted of basically convincing people not to kill you. Since it was your first game and you got there desperate, and Chishiya was the first person you saw, you had delayed to him your entire story. That you worked with children, that you loved what you did. That you couldn't wait to see them again. And then he took it and used it as his own. If it was only between the two of you, you'd have died that day.

"Of course I am! I could've died", you said.

"And on any other game after that. It's not even about me anymore, is it?", he said as you stormed off to get water.

-

"It's not even about me anymore, is it?"

The fact was that no, it wasn't. He played by the rules, and did what he was supposed to do at a hearts game. And if what he was supposed to do was be a huge traitor, well, that's on the game masters' account as well.

You were there grabbing a bottle of water behind one of the shelves when Chishiya tried to approach the woman. She, of course, bewitched by her affair, didn't even respond. Chishiya was good at seeming calm, but you could see that if he was outwardly asking for help then he sure was desperate.

He was right. It wasn't about him at all.

You had to kill people too. Had to trick people too. And for what? You had no one but your students. Would you be able to look them in the eye knowing you killed innocent people to get back? Chishiya tricked the person you were before you got into the games. You for sure weren't that person anymore.

You made your way around the shelf to approach him, him turning around with a smile on his lips but you could see that his friendly facade faltered when he looked at you. He didn't expect anything from you and that strangely hurt. For a moment, as you and Chishiya contemplated each other, it was like looking at a mirror. Alone, untrustworthy. You took a deep breath.

"You were right, Chishiya", his eyebrows rose yet again. You remembered his name. "It wasn't about you", you slowly approached him.

"Turn around", you said, softly. For the first time since you were a desperate mess in a hearts game, you weren't glaring daggers at him. You seemed tired, and oddly at peace. He appreciated the change.

"Thinking about lying to me?", he said, feigning amusement.

"Thought", you corrected him. "But not anymore. Turn", you said again and he eyed you for a second before turning around in his heels. He could feel you stare at him, and he jumped slightly when he felt your fingers on the back of his neck, brushing his hair aside to look at his symbol.

"Diamonds", you breathed and he turned around.

You sat down on the table directly next to you, drinking your water.

"What, you don't want me to do it to you?", he said, plopping himself next to you.

"Are you thinking about lying to me?", you gave him a weak chuckle and he reciprocated with a small smile of his own.

"Thought. But not anymore. Turn", he said, the smile still there. You turned your torso away from him and he leaned over to look at it. You could feel his breathing on your neck and it gave you goosebumps.

"Hearts", he said. You laughed.

"I can't believe it", you said, looking at him. "Ironic, huh?", you raised your eyebrow. You felt contempt but that underlying bitterness showed through. Not at Chishiya anymore but at all of this, at yourself and he could definitely notice this shift.

"I work with children. I love what I do", he said after a beat of silence. You looked at him, perplexed. He really did all of this to toy with you? That's what you get for trying to help.

"You're an asshole", you say through clenched teeth, going to stand up when you felt his hand around your wrist. He wasn't squeezing you, you could shake him off by any means. But the overwhelming warmth of his palms and his gaze where all consuming, keeping you where you stood. He stood up, once again in front of you. "I'm not a teacher", he said.

You scoffed. "Of course you're not-", you started but he cut you off once more.

"I'm a pediatric heart surgeon. I was in the middle of my residency when I got here", he said. "What I said... Wasn't necessarily true. I don't love those kids like they're my own, because they're not. And I can wait to see them again. In fact, when I tell one to go home I hope I don't ever see them again. I hate dealing with people and the never ending questions and the sobbing parents. But it wasn't a lie either", he said.

"I... I didn't know...", you felt your face grow hot. He was a surgeon for kids. You never once wondered what he did before all this, but you assumed it was something shameful, since he decided to basically copy and paste your life story. You never once stopped to consider that maybe he did just have a similar life to you, after all. You felt sick all of a sudden.

"Don't apologize, there was no way of you knowing", he said. "I did what I did because you had something I didn't. You... Had that fire, that... Love. You wanted to see them again so bad. I didn't have that. I had to pretend", he said. He seemed... soft. Genuine. Your heart ached.

"I don't have that anymore", you said softly, avoiding his gaze. Chishiya felt needle pricks all over his body.

"I think you do", you looked up. "You wouldn't have come so far to give up", he said.

"I...", he started, but looked up at the sound of your voice.

"You...", you both talked at the same time. But that would have to wait because soon enough it was time to go inside the cells once more.

-

The game was over. While two of the remaining four tried to extract information from the Jack, you grabbed as much as you could carry and was making your way to the exit.

"What now?", you heard behind you.

"I don't know, Chishiya. What now?", you said.

"I'm looking for... my friends", you were surprised. He always struck you as a loner type. You did get him all wrong. "You could come. We can help each other leave this place", he said. "You're smart enough. A good player".

"Are you saying we're friends?", you asked, one eyebrow raised. Chishiya froze. He didn't think it'd escalate this quickly. Friends? You were similar. But he looked at you in a different way than he did other people. As his eyes darted around, you made your way towards him. "Something different?", you whispered like you were telling him a secret. You didn't want to say "more". Not yet, at least.

"Different, yes", he said, extremely relieved at your choice of words.

"One condition", you said and he nodded.

"You tell me about you. About your job. I'd love to visit when this all ends", he gave you a wobbly relieved smile.

"And you too. Tell me about your students", he said, walking alongside you as you exited the prison complex.

[dylansslutt]

judas kiss / t.s

part three of dishonest (mini series)

 authors note// hi thank you so much for your feedbacks, if i have anything unfinished yall really want another part too please lmk bc i literally have lots of ask/request or even things ive started up & forgot ab or have in my drafts. butt i am going through and finishing out some stuff, i just took a vacation and rlly needed some me time... BUT IM BACK BITCHES!!!

   also... holy shit a thousand something followers!!!! thank you guys seeing the endless love and support of my writings has boosted me into starting my own book series ... but thats for another spill. thank you again for following me on my journey of my shitty writings to my development.

i got this tip thing working, i do work full time & go to school so any tips are welcomed and appreciated but either way ty all.

anywhore here is the third part/ im thinking final part as well. let your imagination think of the end... unless too many of yall want more.

 tag list: @allie131313​ @casa-boiardi​

summary: lying about your identity, leads you face to face with the one and only thomas shelby. as chaos unravels much more surfaces as well.

  staring in the mirror, feeling the old, yet the familiar feeling of a silk night gown cascading down your body. remembering the time lasted only for a mere few years. years you weren’t happy. the bruises were faded mainly, except the slight pain in your ribs still.

 taking small pain killers help.

 the day has left you tired leaving the rest of the clothing in the corner of the room. laughing almost as you take in the fact; he really did get you some new clothes. as well as being kind of enough to grab some of your own from your apartment.

 which you were notified was absolutely trashed, yet hidden away you found a picture. one of you, your mum and sister. so young... so innocent. the memories of everything was building up.

 the gown fit you nicely though, the cloth was soft and comfortable. something you almost forgot what felt like, since being alone on the run . glancing over at the clock noticing it was getting late. 

biting your lip softly, things mule over in your head. how thomas was and if maybe, just maybe you two met under a different circumstance. hell even just a re-do of your meetings.

 ignoring it as your hair gets tucked behind your ear. deciding to leave this room and not be cooped up.

 as you step out, your eyes flicker down the hall. movements halting as your mind comes more clear. he was right there in that room.

 the room you’ve seen him enter a mere few times. the light flickers through the crack of the door. it was there. right in front of you. 

 hand never leaving the door knob, biting your lip in deep thought. happy he got you your clothes from home, as well as a few new items. must’ve gotten help from a lady because there’s no way he chose these alonesome. 

 shaking these thoughts your feet spring into action. hand beside you now as your focus was on where he was. fist raising to knock on the ajar door. it swings open wider, creaking slightly as thomas sets some papers down. 

 smoke still in hand as his eyes lift to yours, exhaling the smoke from his lips. he lifts it back up, inhaling again taking in the sight of you. in more different clothing than anything he has seen before. work uniform, one little outfit, and his clothing. you looked good, stunning in a way.

 he was as he usually was, expect a bit more exposed.

 the anger still present when your wounds become more visible, thankfully more faint now. he’s already sent john to deal with that particular matter, but now he had to deal with some stuff tonight.

 “got to look at the stuff, thank you.” giving him a small smiling, trying to make this attempt for a better start forward. needing time to plan future things as your mind hasn’t had a hint of peace.

 he nods licking his lips, ashing in the tray.

 “can’t have you walking around naked, can we?”

  the joke brought a smile small to your lips, as your head thinks about the picture. unaware if he knew it was there or if someone else did the work. his focus is back on the papers making you step in. taking in this private study he enchants himself too; felt like him.

 biting your lip softly, the sight of him before you has your mind in another place. he looks like something you saw only moments before. a mirror image of yourself. less battered and bruised on the outside though, yet he was tired. his eyes red, the bottle out in the open. he was more open, more vulnerable.

 “y/n?”

 you shake your head, a blush crosses your cheeks. “sorry. what ya’ say?” 

he holds back his emotion, but his attention is now yours. “i’ve gotta meeting tonight, tomorrow some more to do. until then just stay here, out of harms way for the love of god.”

 he stands up and stares at you. your lip ends up between your teeth, feeling a bit nervous. he didn’t sound so serious so fierce, he sounds exhausted. as you were to even fight back, which he noticed.

 “if you are up by the time i get home, we should talk.” your eyes narrow at his words, nodding slightly. hands coming up to brush your hair back once more.

 “just knock on my door when you get back, thomas.” 

 with that you open the cracked door wider, rushing out of the room. everything felt too tense too unsettling in there. only when his footsteps become noticeable, you realize he was following you.

 heart racing as you reach halfway down the hall, nearing the stairs. for a moment, your eyes flicker to the front door. 

 the thought crosses your mind. ignoring it as you continue to ‘your’ room desperate that he isn’t actually following. that he would walk himself down those stairs instead.

 as you reach the door his presence was there, the defeat leaves you. turning around to face him. his face was inches from yours. something deep in his eyes as he pushes the door open.

 “thomas?”

 the door closes behind you as he is now only standing in front of you, a heave in his chest almost. “their dead, alright? the men from that night, their gone.”

 your eyebrows furrow in confusion, “wh-why are ya’ tellin’ me this?” he comes forward cupping your cheek. the look in his eye is something you’ve seen before. loss.

 staying still in his embrace, “i-i don’t want ya’ scared of me... for some fuckin’ reason.”

 the confession made your mouth shut completely. “i don’t want ya’ scared at all.”  it didn’t feel exactly true but it what was easiest for him to say. 

that was until he pulls you onto his lips. hands landing on his chest, mouth moving with his out of instinct. pulling away as you push him back slightly. staring into the eyes of a loss man, knowing this could end terribly. 

your chest rises and falls quickly, “i- told ya-”

 “tell me to stop then, y/n.” the deep stare between you two leaves something rattling inside of you. 

 “i-i get your past. i know mines fucked, but i-...” you trail off biting the inside of your cheek for a moment. the internal debate ends with him pushing forward.

 lips on his he pulls you close, your hands around his neck as you both fall back on the bed straddling him. his hands push against your back, deepening the kiss. the hold on you wasn’t harsh, just tight possessive like. as if you were to disappear at any moment.

 pulling away for air, his lips trail from your cheek to your neck. the giggle escapes your lips involuntarily, and for a moment thomas sighs. not of boredom and displeasure but of relief.

 it made your heart swirl because you felt it too. the non-serious feeling of this. even though it wouldn’t last, it felt real for the moment.

 his hand slips down from your waist onto your thighs. eyes flickering back up at you. your hands tug at his shirt, him taking the hint to remove it. the bare chest was there and now you could really look at it.

“thomas.”

 his hand grips the back of your neck, pulling you into a kiss. he flips you over and he holds himself up against you. your back against the bed, other hand trailing between your thighs, you just as desperate for his touch.

 he lifts the gown up slowly, teasing you with his touch. his head drops into the crane of your neck, kissing it softly before tugging your panties down softly. a soft gasp escapes you and he whispers something in your ear.

 “so fuckin’ beautiful.”

 your eyes roll back as he swirls your clit, the sensation incredible. “fuck.”

 “taste good too.”

 he enters a finger before he slowly moves his body down. his motion was slow and you whine when he leaves you. looking down seeing him between your thighs now, inches from you. his eyes flicker up, the blue prominent.

“impatient ay’?” your hand flies into his hair. trying to ignore the urge to roll your eyes,

“did ya’ forget that already?”

 without another word his tongue swirls around you, a soft moan leaves you. he continues but slowly adding a finger. your calves press into his shoulders more, leaving his tongue to move slightly faster.

 “oh th-” he slides another finger in making your words cut short, back arching off the bed slightly. giving him access to push your gown up above your breast. his hand comes back down around your thighs, feeling them shake around him.

 unable to take it anymore your hand pushes at his head, but he holds it down instead. speeding up as your stomach drops, a moan leaving your throat. liquid coats his fingers and tongue as he stands up completely.

 “do ya’ love anyone y/n?” the question caught you off guard. your breathing uneven coming down from your high; his pants drop and your body felt even more turned on.

 “never really had a chance to experience love. probably doesn’t exist.” you confess the mere summary as you spread your shaky legs. his grip on them tightens, moving you closer to him.

 he stares down at you in a way that you truly didn’t understand. “i like ya’, ms.solomons.” he confesses as he spits down on you. the action so dirty, but the confession so clean.

 “just y/n, thomas.” the intent was known and he kisses your knee before moving. the feeling of him entering you slowly, made you grip his arm that held your waist. 

 “i sometimes-” you stutter out as he rocks against you slowly, fighting to keep your eyes open.

 “i sometimes like to believe it could be true.”

 he leans forward, the angle deeper than before as he kisses you deeply. his free hand coming to cup your jaw. his hips pick up speed leaving you a moaning mess in his mouth.

 he was gentle, taking in what you reacted too. this wasn’t your first time but he felt as if you were innocent in a way. your eyes flicker up to him before you tug your dress over your head.

 leaving you both completely exposed, “it’s true.” he confesses pulling away, turning holding you up against him as he lays down. your knees against the bed as he bucks up into him.

 “ya’ crazy mr.shelby.” he pushes your hips down even more leading to the familiar feeling arise again. your nails sink in his shoulder, biting your lip clinging to him.

 “say’s the one who’s dead.” you try to get a witty remark out but your orgasm spreads, feeling yourself starting to clench.

 “yet ya’ look so fucking alive around me.” the wetness spreads down your thighs as he doesn’t let you go. “m-maybe i feel alive- with ya’.” the deep moan leaves you, the feeling of your bare chest touching had you in a whirl.

 he’s buried deep in you as you cling to him, almost in tears overstimulated. you beg him. “tho-thomas. i-”

“so fuckin’ good.” his his shake slightly, as he leans back staring into your eyes. “do you trust me?” at how you were feeling you’d trust anything. your eyes flutter but you nod.

  he stutters into you as his releases inside you making your eyes widen. pulling back panting as his eyes connect with yours. two different looks.

 “wh-what did you do?”

 “do ya’ trust me?” the logic in the room was clearly not there because without a second thought you nod again. he kisses you softly, “be mine. stay alive and i promise ya’ everything you could need.”

 you pull yourself out of him, wincing at the feeling. your eyes stare into his, as the covers surround you,

“but you don’t love me.” 

 his eyes drop slightly, “i can see somethin’ in you. i need someone like ya’, think of this as something good.” you feel so exposed staring at him in disgust. “ya’-ya’ just came in me, who knows if i’ll get pregnant! thi-this is not gonna end well. what the fuck were ya’ thinking?”

 “what the fuck was i thinkin’? oh my go-”

 he sits up, “i’m thinking fuckin’ smart! ya’ know this shit, i am rising y/n, i need a wife and i need someone who can be that wife.” you stare at him and stop for a moment. it cut off your overthinking for a moment.

 it wouldn’t be real but it could be. yet either way you could be safe... you could be free of being on the run. you could be alive.

 “i need to think on it? i-i can have your answer tonight.” your words tremble slightly as you slip your gown on, facing away from him. “hey.” his hand lands on your shoulder. 

your flinch makes him wince, scooting closer to you. covered up with the sheets. “i haven’t asked just anyone this question. this is fuckin’ insane but i-i do like ya’. we can figure this shit out because you know it’s true.”

 “you need me just as much as i need you.” you mutter as a  small smile appears on your lips, “i need a shower for a fact and nap thomas. you have somewhere to be, should get going.”

 his hand leaves yours taking your hint, “i’ll knock on your door tonight. get some rest.”

after he redresses and the door closes behind him, the tears stream down your cheeks. you wanted him but you were so scared and conflicted.

 your answer was yes from the moment you realize he was as stubborn as you but you were now a ghost.

-

 you were laid down, the candles still lit allowing thomas to see your image. he walks closer but you were barely asleep. he sits down beside you and sighs heavily.

 he doesn’t know you’ve woken up, and his energy was strong. you figured thomas shelby out and for a man to keep you around long enough...

 you knew from the beginning you liked this man, but being ‘dead’ has made you believe any. any of that type of thing was impossible. slowly you turn over, facing the man who stares ahead.

 “eric is tryin’ to be a political man. if ya’ know alfie, imagine a sickenin’ no good bastard times a billion.... as him.” the words made thomas sit a bit straighter. you felt vulnerable now, half asleep tucked into a new home.

 you had to give a answer.

 “i’ve looked him up, he isn’t much and from what i’ve heard. alfie really doesn’t give two fucks for him.” the way he settles his sentence lets you know that eric is no threat. to you or himself in any aspect.

 “charlie’s mother, i-i won’t ask you to speak of her.” you sit up now, thomas takes in your sleepy appearance. “if i take on that boy as my own. i will love and teach him as my own, but you have to tell me about her so he can know his true mother.”

 your eyes swell up slightly. “she won’t be forgotten in your mind ever, i know that. so let me learn, let me be there for you so i don’t go crazy. so i-i can do better...”

 the words hit thomas and he only shifts to maintain his composure. you don’t notice since your emotional more so, but he knows he did right choosing you.

 “i have a story, everything about how to make you ‘undead’ since your job at it wasn’t the best.” that made your eyes look up at him.  “i know ya’ can’t be her, but i do have some’ towards you.” 

his hand reaches out to cup your face. “she wanted some of the stuff you did as well...”

 the deep stare was all that was needed, you let this moment last. he was gone when he lost her. loosing her was loosing apart of himself. you accepted it because you truly knew love was not meant for you in this lifetime.

 slowly breaking the moment, lips almost trembling but your composure well gathered now. “if we do this- ya’ can’t treat or make me out to be some fool of a house wife. i-i’m more than that and i’ll be damned to be one of your puppets.”

 moving out of his reach makes you ache for it more yet thomas sees something within you. you were sorta like polly sometimes. strongly determined woman.

 “ya’ help me stay together, ya’ help me keep this household together... my family together and whatever ya’ want is yours.” flickering from each eye, he awaits your response and you nod.

 “i agree, to be your wife. i agree to hold your secrets, now for i wish to get rid of the jewish ways though... go back to the gypsie ways. please.” your desperation was without notice and he kisses you.

 kissing you felt like kissing grace.

kissing you felt like kissing grace.

-

  setting down the glass of whiskey, your eyes train along the inside courier. everything was simple, everything was different. charles was taken to bed not too long ago, you didn’t see much of him but it made you think.

 too take on this responsibility was what you were raised for. yet you ran from it because eric was a vile man... so is thomas. your heart aches though due to the surprising feeling erupting yourself; that you may just like the man ever so slightly.

 with your past and his it felt like you both being so fucked up, it could work? sighing heavily and grabbing the glass once more. the liquid slips down your throat as you enjoy the peace of true alone time.

 telling his maid, well lady of help to head to sleep since you were up. if charles was to awake you could handle it or if need be. get her up. charles really ponders through your mind, for you would be like a mother.

 you could be his mother, yet you would never wanna replace his true mother. what was she even like? what did she view or believe? what the hell did she see in thomas shelby?

 he said she was a bit like you, in what fucking way?

 you move and see her painting and you looked nothing of her. she looked of class and elegance, some real princess shit. you didn’t compare to that, so what motive was this?

 make me alive again, was this his plan? biting your lip you throw back the remaining liquor. rolling your eyes at the empty cup, you head towards the kitchen.

 smiling to yourself of the kindness that francis left out the bottle for you. moving forward you almost reach the counter but you were hit over the head. your body hit the ground harshly, the glass breaking surrounds you.

 it flashes back to the moments of your mothers death. yet before you could react you were hit again, and the darkness overtook you.

-

 you awoke in a moving vehicle, head pounding your face contorts in displeasure. trying to focus your vision, your eyes land on a priest as well as a few other men.

 “hello miss solomons.” the priest smiles wickedly and you stare back unfazed, or atleast as much as you could appear.

 “well you see, there’s so many ways this here can go. yet as of right now, you are actually of great use.” his tone menacing and your head was spinning.

 you try desperately to maintain eye contact with his. unsatisfied with your response of nothing; he nods as one of his men move forward. the hit makes your head sling to the side. blood literally splattering onto the window beside you.

 the taste of blood in your mouth has became a all too familiar feeling. as you let your head hang lowly, you over hear someone mutter. “we are almost there.”   

 moving your hand to wipe your chin, seeing the back of your hand covebloody finally angers you. not knowing where this was going, you finally look back up. “i think we might just have to use the boy instead.” 

your heart drops, distracted now. the boy? of course it had to be...

“what boy?” you finally speak, it slightly muffled due to your severe swollen lip. this gets the mans reaction. “she speaks!”

 “what boy?” you question again, feeling a sense of protectiveness all of a sudden. what is going on with you?

 “ahh, mr.shelby’s boy. ya’ see we have a deadline, and i do have orders with him. oh i spoke to your cousin mr.solomons... he does seem to have a keen interest of seeing you.”

 sitting back you take in everything, the deep wrenching pain in your chest over came you. ”didn’t mention if it meant alive or dead, though. dear.”

 tears fill your eyes, as you realize everything. this was all a lie, a pawn, a game.

 “yet your price is a wager, does thomas care more for your safety or does your cousin? or i could merely kill you now and just let you be what you so ‘desire’.”

 his words let everything truly settle now. you never escaped. you just switched paths.

 it almost could make you laugh, until it did. you looked crazy and stupid but you were laughing, hysterically almost. wincing at your lip throbbing, heaving out as your head pounds from the movement. you stare into the mans eyes dazed. he stares back at you in discomfort but looks away.

 thomas got his own kid into this shit. he better have this all figured out. dizzy from the amount of hits to the head you’ve taken. you look back over and see the man on your right snatching out two pills. eyes widening slightly as you try to move back.

 “what is that? wh-wha-no!” the men hold you down, your kicks and hits defenseless. the pills shoved in your mouth. water forced down your throat whilst your nose was plugged, left you choking on the water. forcing you to swallow.

 yet they continue it for a few seconds longer, leaving you to start choking horribly. knowing it was swallowed, you were let go finally. shaking and drenched in water, you wildly swing your fist forward. 

pure rage in hitting the man on the right. your leg kicks the other guy, before you hit the priest once. a strong hit leaves you slumped, mind swirling until you were no longer able to stay awake.

-

 a strong jerk makes your eyes flicker open. charles was crying softly, making you ignore your own pain. sitting up you look at the man holding him. out of it but desperate you plea.

 “give him to me. please, i-i was a mother, i know how to make him stop.” you lie out of instinct but the man seems irritated and hands charles over with ease. ignoring their looks as we come to a stop.

 pressing a soft kiss to his head, you hold him soft rocking him softly. your watch the men get out of the vehicle, it was dark out now and your head hurt so bad.

 keeping it together for the sake of charles, you try to stay focused. the priest man comes back and you clutch charles more tightly, charles surprisingly soothes down within your hold.

 “come on, lets go.” knowing what happen last time, you slowly move out the car, careful with charles the cold wind hits your skin for your only in a nightgown and light sweater. which was blood stained.

 the darkness led you to follow him, but soon a room with light appears. you sat down as instructed, feeling the light make your head hurt worse. you notice the two other guys didn’t follow through and he was now alone.

 trying not to move, you let charles sit beside you. oddly enough he gave charles something to eat while you stay silent. he looks up at you with a smile.

 “the deal is all taken care of, you will be taken care of soon.”

 this sick bastard. he gets up suddenly looking back at me, “stay here.” the tone was threatening and you nod softly. scared of what might happen, you sit quietly listening in hard. 

moments pass before you heard the words uttered, “please don’t shoot.” you fly up, feeling dizzy from the quickness, glancing back seeing if charles will be okay. 

moving forward grasping the wall beside you, as the spots slowly fade from your vision. following the way he took trying to listen in on where the sounds were coming from.

 moving quicker at the noise of grunting and painful sounds, ignoring your own pain. you round the corner, taking in the sight of the priest guy fighting a younger guy. 

 in the oddest moment you notice a hat, the familiar hat. the cap thomas had, a similar one on the ground.  “you know who your fucking messing with?” 

 he throws the guy against a bench, swinging on him. both hands wrap around his throat in such a swift motion. the look on his face reminded you of what yours probably looked like. without thinking you grab a nearby book.

“i’ll take the fuckin’ life from ya’.” you throw the book, it missing your goal hitting him in the back. “leave him the hell alone!” rushing forward, as he turns around one arm coming out. his elbow hits you harshly making you fly back.

 hitting the side of a bench, your ribs aching out from the movement. not even knowing what you hit, you stay on the floor. tears leave your eyes unwillingly from the pain.

 flying back the back of your head slams into a bench, rolling over sideways. in a slump, you barely were able to make out what was in front of you. all the damage to your head, you knew in nursing this was severe.

“both of ya’ gypsie bastards” without a second thought, the man slices the priest eye. him stumbling back in pain, as the younger man kept coming and coming at him.

 “melanie?” you call out as you swore you heard her voice. snapping out of it at the slam open of doors.

 two men emerge from a door, too much in pain to handle that situation. trying to push up, hearing the sound of charles cries. “charles.” you gasp out, completely remembering the boy. 

managing to get up shakily, moving forward only to stop momentarily. taking in the sight of the bloody mess of the once alive priest. the image locks you in, before you turn back. your were weak and slow but you reach charles.

collapsing beside him leaning back against a near wall. ignoring everything in the world, for it was too much to bare. how odd you found yourself near something of pure innocence; after the chaos you just endured.

 charles babbles as you softly sob, “oh charles.”

“it’s alright.” the mans voice spoke, stopping you momentarily. you went silent uncertain exactly anymore of anything. despite everything though you speak up.

 “thank ya’.” your tone hush as if you weren’t bold to speak loud. the man sighs out and you wince.

 “but ya’ gotta get th-thomas.” the words slip out weakly, eyes flutter as they gaze upon the boy. not even noticing he came around the corner. blood soaked and shaken up, trying desperate to stay focused.

 “i’m michael, i’m tommy’s cousin.”

 so simple, which was all that was needed. “y/n solomons.” he helps you up, you lean against the wall as he scoops charles up. “hold onto my arm, there is a car outside.”

 managing to get inside, but once settled your body slumps. you try to stay up, but the tiredness takes over.

 still out not noticing you arriving at the shop, or that michael already took charles inside to the rest of his family. he notified them of you. ada and polly knew for they were the ones who helped you get your clothing.

 thomas spoke of you to arthur once.

 michael ends up carrying your lifeless looking form inside. polly rushing out orders, ada making a place for you to lay. you were set down and polly pushes your hair out of the way examining you, but when she touches you.

 her heart sank. for no reason apparent it just did. 

 “someone call thomas.” and the cheerful glee of happiness of charles was apparent but the dark silent loom of your appearance was one of unease.

 “mum, sh-she helped save him.” he confessed out to polly, who let out a sigh. “well call the damn doctor as well, for christ sakes.”

 your eyes flutter open slowly, “charles?”

 polly grasp your hand, “he’s safe dear, your both safe now.”

 “n-no my head. i can’t my head.” you groan in agony, and your heart aches. “thomas?”

 the room went silent. “tho-thomas?” polly speaks up, “he’s on the way.” yet after those words your eyes roll back. “the doctors on the way!” ada calls out and polly sighs in worry for the girl.

[underoospeterparker]

i thought of another peter sutherland request while i was sending u the other one 😭 peter and neurodivergent reader? only if u feel comfortable writing that obviously! maybe she gets overstimulated/overwhelmed by something theyre both working on and starts to have a panic attack and he helps her breathe thru it and calm down…lots of cuddles because puppy loves to give cuddles. i also think puppy is such a cute pet name for him bc he’s literally a puppy

hi baby! i've actually never written for a neurodivergent reader so I'm not sure if this is written right, and i don't personally have any experience! but i've done some research & i hope this is okay:) if you could let me know what you think that would be great, i can write it again with your feedback if you hate it, lol! but otherwise I hope you enjoy it<3 also, if you could give me feedback that would be great, even if you do like it!

tw: please don’t read if you feel triggered by panic attacks described in detail

(reader has ADHD - attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder)

✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°

"baby, you okay?" peter's worried eyes met yours. snapping out of your daydream, you nodded lightly.

"sorry, jus' got a bit distracted," you murmured quietly, a faint blush of embarrassment coating your cheeks. your hand impulsively grabbed his index finger, anxious. peter let you play with his fingers, knowing it was one of your coping mechanisms. oh, he was the most supportive boyfriend. he was always there to listen, so deeply understanding and comforting when you got lost in your own world. it made you feel all tingly and happy, and you laughed quietly under your breath. peter's eyes brightened at the soft sound, however unexpected it was. "i'm sorry, what were you saying?"

he blinked, lost in his own thoughts, then started talking again. "hmm," he sighed, pulling you closer to him. "just that we have to stay here for a bit, at least until we know it's safe again."

safe. that word again. it was never safe, whatever you tried or did, and it was, was so difficult. all you wanted was a normal life. a normal life with peter, and it made you so mad, so annoyed, it was so sad to think that it was somehow wrong for you to want to have that life with him when you could be saving people, but you wanted it, you wanted it so badly it hurt.

peter noticed you getting worked up again, as you were squeezing his fingers too tight. he never complained. "sweetheart," he murmured. you sat up quickly, too quick from his chest, eyes already welling up.

your breathing grew too fast, too fast to be normal and everything was moving too fast and it was too much, too much. your breaths became shorter and more frequent, hands still clutching peter’s, squeezing, because you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, and it was too loud-

tears fell quickly down your cheeks. “shhh,” peter cooed lightly. your sobs were making it even harder to breathe. your boyfriend recognised the signs of your panic attack, trying to calm you down as best as he could. “it’s okay, sweetheart, just breathe with me.” you tried your best to follow his instructions, hiccuping slightly. “in, and out. deep breaths.”

you tried doing one, and you couldn’t, it was too tight around your throat. your eyes welled up even further. “it’s okay. we can try again,” he murmured, eyes filled only with concern and love for you. you nodded, unable to speak. “slowly, breathe in, and out.” taking a deep breath, you filled air into your lungs, and you felt this overwhelming surge of relief rush through you. “there you go, that’s my good girl,” peter praised, a small smile forming on his face, reassuring you everything was okay. “a few more, okay?”

after you had calmed down, you asked quietly, “can i have a hug, please?”

“of course, baby.” you fell into your boyfriend’s open arms, head resting on his shoulder. he nuzzled the top of your head with his chin, hands rubbing your back lightly.

and that was when you you knew that whatever happened, you would always be safe. because you were with him.

[luvhughes43]

i just finished binging your blake hughes au and MY GOD do i LOVE it I ADORE IT REALLY and i would like to ask the following:

first, has blake dated people before nico? if she has what would happen if they ran into an ex of hers who never really got over her? (bc lbr blake is THAT girl)

second, what are their date nights usually like? i like to think theyre pretty chill people and that they find things to do at home together like painting or making clay sculptures

third, was blake's pregnancy/delivery hard? i hope it wasnt :(( and did carrying rudi kind of mess with her back a bit? and has nico ever done the thing where the dad lifts up the belly for a bit to offer some relief?

fourth, blake and jack are twins which is the cutest thing ever! what are your personal headcanons for them as twins? and does blake have a favorite brother?

fifth, do they have more kids after rudi? or is that a long time away?

lastly, what do you think the hischier-hughes combo are up to right now?

im soso happy you love the au!! it means so much fr🫂🤍

first: blake had a summer fling with alex turcotte when they were both younger and that does cause some awkwardness with nico because he wasnt aware of their relationship before staying at the lake house. other than that we havent really discussed any other relationships ! but maybe she dates a guy for a year or two before she gets to know nico. the ex lives in nyc and he never really got over blake after they broke up (bc she is that girl🤭). blake and they ex have a few mutual friends and so maybe the ex tries to talk shit about blake and her relationship with nico. blake ends up hearing about it but she doesnt really gaf. nico gets upset about the shit talking though and gets a little possessive if they see the ex out in public. not aggressive though nico will just be extra touchy with blake which she doesn't mind one bit.

second: they are very chill ! their date nights at home usually include making dinner or dessert, painting (they've definitely done that tiktok trend where u paint your partner then do a reveal), and a little self-care spa evening🫶 when they do go out though they like to try new restaurants, see a concert in the city, dance lessons (?). i feel like blake would be obsessed with learning salsa or something and she would def make nico be her partner !

third: blake struggled with her back during her pregnancy ! she had to start PT again but nico was very helpful ! he was definitely lifting her belly, helping her with her physical therapy, etc.

fourth: jack and blake are the sassiest siblings and they 100% match each others attitude. when they were younger they'd get into arguments over literally anything but they would also forgive each other in an instant (still true once they're older). as for favourites, blake is the closet with jack and hes literally her other half but her unspoken favourite is quinn ! blake and quinn gossip like no other. on the other hand, blake babies luke soo much.

fifth (literally do not know how i missed this i’m so sorry babes): i personally think they should have one more but i’ve gotten mixed feedback… what do u guys think? because i totally see them as being a single child household but then again, they both grew up with siblings so i can see them having more babies down the line…

lastly: the hughes/hischier combo are in nyc helping blake and nico move into their first apartment ! blakes got her brothers and her bf working overtime building furniture and carrying hers & nicos things up to their apartment ! she rewards everyone with tickets to an upcoming country concert that the group had been debating on going to <3

thank u so much for the questions i really loved answering them🫂

[bbluejoseph]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for tagging me @thatbluelight !! i'm not always an ask games kind of person, but This. this is perfect and i had a lot of fun with it :)

how many works do you have on ao3?

98! getting veeeery close to that big 100 lol

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

486,142 apparently. not quite as many as i thought lol

3. what fandoms do you write for?

twenty one pilots, although i do have an old wtnv crossover in the mix somewhere. i've been thinking about writing for the nbc hannibal fandom, but haven't done it yet

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

bio is #1 by quite a bit <3 followed by odium, which i don't really like as much as i did when i first wrote it. after that is surrounded/hounded, spend some time (forever), and know me. oh god i forgot about that one

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try to, especially if they're longer comments, if people ask questions, if people said they liked the work, etc. i really appreciate the feedback and hearing how much people like something i've made motivates me to write more by a million lmao

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably home or colder bones

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

no one's gonna love you, not just bc everything works out and they get together but bc i was really happy with that ending and with the finished work

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

8. do you get hate on any fics?

not that i've ever noticed

without going into detail, i've written mlm and wlw. i generally try to make it abstract/not use explicit language because i have a Normal Healthy Relationship with sex and i can definitely say the word "cock" without wanting to tunnel into the ground like a gopher. as you can probably tell by this fic

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

just the pilots/wtnv crossover one, nothing too crazy (yet)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a few times! i Need to remember to put the translation link in the author's notes and notify people in the tags that there's multiple versions available

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i've had other people beta for me once or twice, and sometimes i've beta'd for other people, but other than that, no. a proper collab sounds fun though!

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

tyler n josh obviously but doesn't have to be romantic!! i just think they're neat :)

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

if i listed every wip i've ever wanted to finish here, i'd be here all day lol. off of ao3, i'd love to finish all is cold betwixt; i have the whole thing mapped out, i just never wrote it. off the top of my head, i've got another shapeshifter one that's a bit less angsty than surrounded and a bit more silly. there's another more personal one that involves growing up in a changing climate, but it's never really gotten anywhere and was mostly just a vent fic. but probably the one i'd most like to finish involves love and fire and a terrible, terrible curse (or is it) with a splash of survivor's guilt.

16. what are your writing strengths?

once i get going on a writing session i Will keep going for a while. like if i get in the Writing Mood and sit down and actually do it, i'll get a shit ton of it finished

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

too many commas probably. also lately i've been starting fics without a general idea of the ending or how to get there, which leads me to abandon them or take long ass breaks. i also have trouble actually sitting down and Writing because i get distracted by other things that are less intense and require less focus but are still fun

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

nothing wrong with that, though i've never done it myself. i do appreciate when authors add a translation of the dialogue into english though so i don't have to whip out google translate

19. first fandom you wrote for?

warrior cats. i was 13, didn't have any social media, and i put several chapters to a spiral-bound notebook. not my best moment

20. favorite fic you've written?

no one's gonna love you and home are tied for #1, with surrounded/hounded and spend some time (forever) tied for #2. all my lady pilots stuff is #3; i don't think it's necessarily good but i enjoyed writing it!

tagging a few of my fellow fic writers here! no pressure to do the tag, and if anyone wants me to tag them, i'm happy to

@i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @rabler @edyluewho @kiitchensiink

i KNOW there's more but i don't know everyone's tumblr urls since they aren't the same as their names on ao3 lol. if you see this and you want to do this, this is me tagging you <3

[agustdakasuga]

omg!! no i‘m pretty sure that we all LOVE TWOAC "so far" if i can even say it like that bc i‘m also sure that we will love it till the end </33 i‘ve been following you for some time now and with your other series i can confidently say that your writing, plots, characters and just all of it, among a few other writers on here, is the best!! you were also one of the first bangtan writers that i stumbled upon so i‘m also kind of attached to everything you ever said or wrote :DD that’s why i‘m also glad that you came back again, i think that sometimes reader forget how much time and just blood sweat & tears LOL writers put in their fics..you’re basically gifting us your masterpieces and i hope that you know that we’re forever grateful for that, even if it sometimes maybe doesn’t seem like that

i also hope that we can be more vocal about it in the future, i myself have to work on it esp being an anon idk just sometimes doesn’t feel too personal i think but just know that you always got your little supporters on here whether you’re writing or not💕

it’s also more than okay not having time to write i mean we all got our personal life’s let’s be real life sometimes just gets too busy so don’t worry about that at all!!

as for TWOAC, i‘m glad that you picked it up again i think i remember you not being too satisfied with it when you first started long time ago so i hope that writing it is fun for you, i liked it back then and i like it even more now, i think you’re doing a really good job on building up the storyline with oc’s parents her father and the boys being kind of mysterious, oc having a mini character development understanding the boys more being open with them, the boys being so patient with her and so on, i like how you also thought about the boys individually spending some 1:1 time with her so they also can grow their relationship beyond their group :) i‘m very very excited to see where this story goes

wow anon, i don't really know what to say. this being the first thing i read when i wake up and get ready for work, it really really made my day. thank you for sending this in.

(a little ramble-y below so i put a cut)

i'm so happy to hear that you've been a follower for a while and know my older series, as well as the time i took away from tumblr (still can't believe it was 6 months)

i really enjoy writing, it is a way i de-stress but recently, with work piling up and other stuff happening in my private life, the thought of having to write and post chapters consistently for my readers has been a bit more pressuring than expected.

don't worry though! i'm okay, i just have to organise my priorities, which means drafts can't be done in a few days. i do try to write over the weekends so i can at least still post something. tumblr has been very quiet too so i guess that adds to the lack of motivation. i miss interacting and speaking with all of you. but i understand that not everyone likes to "verbally" express their thoughts and would rather silently appreciate something.

please don't feel that anon is not personal at all. i cherish and treasure every message that comes my way. you can even pick an emoji and become _ anon if you'd like.

And lastly, thank you for your feedback on WOAC. i'm glad you can see the difference between this revisited version and the old version. i didn't want to rush this plot and storyline, i wanted to build up to it to have some form of 'realism' to it. this OC is definitely different from the others, i think i subconsciously added a lot of myself into her. and im just trying out this new way of the boys approaching her, more 1-on-1 rather than all 7 strangers coming.

i hope you have a great day!

[episbep]

rehab day thirty six

me as a bin vs me as a human (I am the small one, ☀️👶 is big)

what a clusterfuck of a day

• in group therapy the most reserved member of the group shared that she is a swinger and her feelings of shame and guilt following the act which led to big realisations surrounding my own sexual conduct and how I use sex to validate/invalidate myself based on how I am feeling about myself at the time and the fact that I often base my own self worth on how my sexual partners see me (prime example being me and boo for the past four+ years) continuing on this shit cycle is likely to lead to hard and fast relapse and further decreased self esteem/self worth

• I presented my consequences assignment (basically all of the shit things I did in active addiction and how they have harmed those around me) and had to hold back tears multiple times throughout - I felt such an immense sense of relief after doing so and receiving feedback though, was also a much needed reminder as to why I cannot return to the way things were and remain sober

• found out in study period that ☀️👶 sent a dick pic to my friend which huuurrrtt esp considering I’d just told her I was planning to fuck him looooool

• got a verbal warning for having energy drinks in the fridge (lol dumb ass) promptly admitted it was me and apologised and legit won’t do it again

• went to the beach and ignored ☀️👶 but then spoke to him about the situation and he basically said he’s an idiot and has actual feelings for me (am I just falling for a fuckboy again and being delusional bc I want the validation or being skeptical by not believing him idk and idc I wanna fuck) he kissed me on the beach, I laid on his chest cuddling him and kissed some more, felt like a teenager again was very lovely was very happy - then flex took the above pic lol he’s a bit salty that I binned him off to “focus on recovery” then started shacking up with his housemate🥴 fair

• got a new housemate (she’s really lovely, intelligent, beautiful, alcoholic) - the atmosphere in the house has lifted again and I don’t feel responsible for keeping everyone amused /the perv at bay so much anymore, kinda just getting on with it

• had eight veggie chicken nuggets for dinner (shef😘👌)

• over an hour long video call with ☀️👶 not sure that it’s gonna lead anywhere other than fucking but definitely is gonna lead to at least a fuck (he sent me videos of him helicoptering his cock and oh my god I want it in me)

• ex messaged me saying he’s proud of me and got me feeling some kinda way…not quite processed that yet and still have an unopened message, honestly idk how I feeeeeeeeeel

[namuneulbo]

week eighty

this week was good mentally ig? idk my ocd has been really nice to me lately and my compulsions havent been as bad as they usually are which is nice. i hope this continues for a while at least.

monday was happy for me. wearing my fav bowie shirt helps too. its gotten a small spot now that didnt go away in the wash and ive frantically been putting a bunch of cleaning chemicals on it and hoping itll go away bc shit was expensive + its one of my fav shirts i own + its one of my comfiest shirts + ratio + ur mom.

we had a grunting workshop at school w the singer of finntroll which was super epic. hes so cool lol and i was just super excited ab getting the proper learn it and get feedback in real time so ik im not doing something bad to my vocal chords and throat and all that. he said i sounded good while we were trying some stuff out as a group so that boosted my ego a lot lol.

now,,,, exciting !!! thing !!!

me and my friends came back to school by the end of lunch break and who do i see as we walk in...?

w, of course!

i had said hi to him earlier iirc but i might be mixing up the days, anyways, i somehow managed to just walk up to him and talk to him. nothing crazy, i just asked him ab the paramore cover band stuff and being like “yooo, is it still happening or..?” and he was like “oh yeah, i still really want to do it, im just very busy atm” and i was like “ah, thats fine, i can help u out w anything if u want to. its fine if it gets a bit postponed too!” and he was all like “ah, thanks!”. that wasnt perfectly transcribed bc ive honestly forgotten a lot of the things that were said but those were the key points ig. i just got so nervous when talking to him lol i was just staring into his eyes the whole time which is super rare for me but ig i was so focused on what i had to say that i didnt even think of it but now all i remember is how green his eyes are and how cutely he smiled when he thanked me and i also feel like ive stood way too close to him although i dont think i did in reality but like considering all i remember are his eyes it feels as it ive stood too close. we had a cute lil bye sesh and then i ran to class. everyone was there already and i just sat next to c and smiled frantically. my friends had seen me walk up to him and thankfully they just walked to class wo me bc i wouldnt have done so,,, okay w them behind me, watching me try to talk to this silly lil guy. anyways, i explained as much as i could considering we were still in a room full of ppl who know this guy lol. i showed how shakey i was to c and they laughed ab it. i remember going to fill my water bottle and just jumping up and down in excitement the second i locked the bathroom door and my hand shaking like crazy as i held my water bottle under the streaming water.

tuesday! the workshop continued! afterwards we were in a smaller group of people and got more personal feedback. he said i did it really well and that i have the technique down so im super happy ab that.

wednesday was iconic. there was this party for the uni part of my school that ppl had been talking ab lots. as far as ik it was like a lil party for just the uni students where they were performing for each other. w was playing there even though hes not in uni yet. he played w his tribute band (which ik bc i saw him listening to a playlist w the name of the party and it was just filled w the police songs and it was made by the bassist in that band, who i later followed on spotify too hehe hes so cool and his music taste is so good bro?). so thered be that performance thing party and then an after party in our school party place thingy in the basement.

since it was wednesday, it was music quiz as well so i was ofc going to that. i knew i could get into the after party so i decided to freshen myself up a bit extra before going out for the extremely tiny chance that w would be at the party.

for context, w is NOT a party person. he doesnt drink and he also just,, doesnt ever go out really?? hes just like me fr but anyways, i thought today he might actually be there bc of the performance thingy. like yk, he might as well go? i thought?

so i first go to a short pregame at ds place. i got there so late that i didnt drink anything before going to the bar. i watched them speedrun a drinking game before we left to the bar.

once we were at the bar we had to sit further in bc of how full it was. i prefer sitting closer to the enterance bc the volumes lower, anyways, vs parents were there which was quite fun ig haha they were really nice and his mom was so cute so it was fun. the quiz this week was so hard though, the songs were so weird and the trivia qs were just a bunch of statistics that no one would know. i was so hungry so i decided to not drink anything until the afterparty bc i didnt want to throw up. vs dad bought us salmiac shots though which i obviously could not refuse, theyre my fav. afterwards, i went home and devoured some cheese and tomato sandwiches and then i went back to ds place. we stayed there until we got a green light to leave and go to the after party.

earlier at the bar i had asked c how big of a chance it would be that w would be at the after party. she confidently laughed and said “like, 10%. absolutely no way hes there, sorry girl!”. i try to persuade her being like “hm but think ab it!” and shes like “yea, its a bigger chance than other days but dont get ur hopes up too much”. i ask the same thing of l. they say “oh god, no way. he wont be there. 95% sure he wont be there. no way.”. personally, i thought there was like a 40% chance hed be there.

we arrive at the after party. me and l were by ourselves pretty much. we scan the place and no w is to be seen. i get a bit disappointed although nothing crazy since i knew he wouldnt ACTUALLY be there but yk, i still had my hopes up. me and l sit down in a couch by the bar. i turn to them and kinda pout being like a bit sarcastically overdramatic and say “not even ds here!”. linnea looks at me and points behind me w a small gesture and goes: “look”.

i see d walking confidently towards the bar. n and w walking softly behind him. me and l just stare at each other w wide eyes and the second they walked out the room we burst out in laughter bc both the chance and the timing was so crazy. we get up to see where they went but dont stalk too intently. we went back to the bar room after a while and sit down on another couch and talk w s. s is super talkative and fun so hes very appreciated when ur feeling a bit lost at parties and gatherings. we sit and talk w him and i see d, n and w walking back in the room. they walk past and i stare lovingly at w. they sit down on the couch me and l sat on earlier and w sat right where i sat. ty god!

i can see w nicely from where im sitting and its like a side angle but like far enough back that he cant see me staring unless he turns his head so im taking this opportunity to STARE. i analyze his outfit. hes wearing black shoes instead of the usual white nikes ones or the yellow vans. his long brown hair falls cutely under his hat. his black tee is once again hugging his biceps so ,, attractively. at one point he throws his head back and keeps it there for a while. he was probably tired. it was 1 am tbf. i feel quite bad saying its hot in a way bc i do feel bad for him if he was just feeling tired and wanted to go home but like,,, bro put his whole adams apple on display for me, a firm lover of big adams apples, i just couldnt help but die on the inside. so hot. i had never noticed how big his adams apple was until that. new feature to admire hihi!

i watch him scroll through facebook and insta as his friends talk w others. im far away enough that i cant tell what the posts r or anything. hes so interesting. ive always seen him as super talkative and outgoing but hes not really? i think he might just be an introvert whose social battery had run out. i think we might be quite similar socially actually. i do think hes less shy than me, he seems that way at least but i do think hes similar to me where i just have better and worse days and somedays im super talkative and talk to random ppl more easily and somedays im quite quiet and barely talk to ppl ik. hes also like, alone, a lot. i feel a bit bad for him. i think it might be by choice? he does talk to ppl, its not that, but he tends to walk around school alone. ig its bc hes not actually in school but just doing civilian work.

i slept a total of four hours before my shift the next morning. two at night, got ready in one hour and slept for another two before leaving for work. i was surprisingly awake at work though. like, yeah, i could feel the lack of sleep but it wasnt terrible. i did some grocery shopping afterwards.

friday! last official day of school. i just have my graduation left. we didnt have anything important in the morning but i went to school to see if w was there. he wasnt in the morning TT i followed l to the shop and they went to buy coffee then went to the library to study. i went back to school for a short bit to see if hed be there, he wasnt. i talked to c briefly and told her ab why i was in school so early and she gave me a lil look and scoffed but it was funny. i went home and drank a pepsi and got some studying done before heading back for lunch. during lunch break i see w for the first time. i was too shy to say hi though.

our schedule said the afternoon was a surprise so no one knew what we were doing. we all met in the main hallway of the music building and then went out. they left while i was in the bathroom so i had to run and catch up w them. theyd gone quite far so it was quite embarrassing running all across the town square. everyone was guessing where we were going as we walked. i walked w c, l and l. l joked that we were going to see one of the schools alumni play in the park and i believed him for a good minute before they told me it was just a joke. i guessed we were going to play mini golf and i was right lol. we played mini golf and it was so hot outside bro. i was wearing a black hoodie and black jeans so i was DYING. it was fun for a bit but i dont really enjoy it so it got boring quickly since it was so hot too and its just too repetitive and w a big team it takes ages to finish.

after that we had a music quiz (or two in a way, one w tv show themes and one w normal songs) in the park w some ice cream. i was sad we didnt get to pick teams but i got to be in the same team as c at least. we took one last class group pic together too :’)

there was this small culture event starting in the evening. it was a festival that lasted all weekend. it had a small participation fee and it was even cheaper w the student “pay what u can” ticket. i only went on friday and saturday bc the only event on sunday was the same art exhibition they displayed the entire weekend. i was pleasantly surprised by friday bc i had higher expectations ab saturday but ended up liking fridays programmes more.

on friday, me and l got there around 7 pm and wHO DO I SEE AS SOON AS I GET THROUGH THE DOOR??? not w BUT both of his parents. see, ive stalked his parents instas LIGHTLY. i felt weird ab going too deep but ive just seen the pics hes tagged in from his parents instas so i just know his parents names and what they look like. i knew his mom had some project there bc her name was on all of the posters. i ‘fangirl’ a bit to l and we go on w the exhibition, enjoying the epic art. the first programme is a 30 minute sesh of video art on the screen. i love video art a lot, its always my fav when at a museum. the first one was actually the one ws mom made, or well, she was the performer in it and i was just staring bc she looked SO YOUNG. she has gray hair but in the video it was blonde and she just looked so youthful i was questioning whether i was tripping and just seeing things. shes such a cute lady. it was a really cool video of her doing,,, interpretive dancing? silly gestures? in the forest. it was so pretty. afterwards she held a little speech and it was really interesting and agh such a cute lady like actually so loveable. i love humans sm.

the second video was a video of someone manically vacuuming while dressed in underwear. it was silly but it was nice w something less intense in-between.

the third was quite a short one of a robot speaking ab how it doesnt feel feelings and stuff. kinda scary.

the fourth one i cried at lol idk if it was bc i felt emotional or if it was eyeliner getting into my eye or the bright light coming from the screen but i cried lol. it was another forest video. a person standing in the forest, trying to rip their sweater off but not managing to do it. there was a repeating phrase in swedish in the back but i cant remember the exact quote but it was something like “taking off the body that is you”. so beautiful.

id say the last one had the most elements to it. white (like, literally, fully white clothing, hair and makeup) person walking around in unsaturated landscapes. v pretty.

afterwards there was a dj thing that we decided to skip to go to the bar. we went to see a rage against the machine cover band but i had to leave quite early bc i was so socially drained and also, i forgot my ear protection so i was scared to stand there wo it. im so scared of getting tinnitus, esp as a musician.

saturday! i met up w e in the early afternoon. shes got a summer job at h&m and im so jealous. we went to some garden thrift shops (?) in the older part of town. such pretty gardens and i ended up getting a dark blue flannel and three glass bottles to put flowers in. v happy!

we later went to a café and chatted for an hour or so. i had an iced latte and a mudcake and it was so yum ! we then went walking around some shops and then went out for ice cream from the ice cream stand. theyve changed to the yucky soft serve and im so sad. only mcdonalds has the good soft serve nowadays TT

we spent the last hour or so at my place and did nothing really. i just touched up my makeup and gave her a try-on haul of the flannel. i feel really bad in a way. im so sure she likes me and it feels so mean now that i have a crush on someone else. i liked her a LITTLE. like i was a bit intrigued by the idea back in september but she didnt seem to have that then. i do think she deserves someone who gets as much butterflies as she does when theyre w each other though. ive realized thats usually the best way to make me realize whether i like someone or not. i need butterflies! such a good feeling!

in the evening me, c, l and ls ‘friend’ e went to the event again to join a queer culture quiz. we SUCKED, it was truly humbling. e was super nice and it was fun getting to speak english for a bit. after the quiz i joined c to the store to buy some food. i didnt get anything bc i wasnt THAT hungry and i knew wed go out for food later anyways. we met i on the way there and then again in the store. c and i sat in the park while they ate their food and then we went back to the venue. we missed some performance thingy but i wasnt too interested in it anyways. we came just in time for an elvis impersonator. it was surely,,, something. me and c were both very shocked over the ,,, quality... the thing is it was supposed to be satire but like it was just,,, actually bad. the costume was cool though. we then listened to some ambient music woah. i thought it would be a bit different but it was alright. c had to leave earlier bc she got overwhelmed by it and me, e and l left once some more ppl started leaving. nobody seemed to enjoy it that much. we stood outside and talked w s for a while. at one point a bunchhhh of ppl started leaving which was quite funny to watch happen.

we left after a bit and we went to get fries and the hot guy was at the cash register!!!!!!! super happy. me and c fangirled a bit over how hot he was.

we ate the fries in the park and i was feeling a bit woah ab the fact that we were IN the park so late at night. its a big park and its kinda known for being sketchy at night but we walked out unstabbed so id call it a success.

lastly, we went to the bar. it was filled w ppl and the festival held its after party there. it was basically a rave so i didnt really go to the dance floor but i stood outside passively smoking for hours instead. we were kind of awkward bc no one wanted to go up and talk to ppl. i suggested we couldve gone and talk to h and s and their friends or c and d and after suggesting c and d, c (my friend c, not this guy c) scoffed and went like “what would we talk ab w c and d? smoking weed?” and i was like “yeah? lets smoke w them yo!” and then they just ignored it lol but i kept talking ab going smoking w d throughout the night and i think i was the only one who found it funny. good thing i was sober bc i think if i wouldve been drunk i mightve even actually walked up to d and been like “yo,,, ik weve never exchanged a single word before but ur really cool, love ur bass stuff dawg (+ i have a massive crush on ur drummer friend), wanna get high?”

i left after a while bc i got bored bc my chingus didnt want to talk w anyoneeeee. fell asleep and woke up w a cold and its so bad atm. my entire body hurts and im so weak. work was so bad bc of it and idk,,, i might have to call in sick next shift. well see.

ive been listening to a lot of the police this past week so obviously...

sotw: the police - every breath you take

[nickfowlerrr]

pretty when you cry - chapter twelve (b)

series masterlist / / chapter thirteen

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. 18+ ONLY. dubcon relationship. not a whole lot of Bucky in this part but the bit he is in, it’s mean!bucky. sad and needy reader. angst. steve makes an appearance. kind of a little bit of a cliffhanger - but not really. another short chapter.

words: 4.6k

notes: uhm. guys. i think..i think it’s almost over. chapter thirteen is probably gonna be the end. and honestly it would have been this chapter but i didn’t want to end on a split chapter if that makes any sense lmao so i pushed the last bit of what i had written so i can get one more whole chapter out of it. sorry that this one kinda ends on a little cliffhanger lol but i’m really excited to share the last bit to come. i’m not gonna say when i’ll post it bc i don’t want to make a commitment and not follow through when i know i’m gonna be busy these next few weeks, but i’m gonna be optimistic and say it won’t be super long of a wait. thank you all so much for sticking with me through this series. your support means the world and i’m so happy so many people have enjoyed it so far. i have so much love for all of you who have read this series, liked it, reblogged it, and what have you. you guys are the best 💗 anyway i hope you all enjoy this chapter (though there’s not a whole lot to enjoy 😅). feedback and comments are always appreciated, i love hearing your thoughts! and thank you to everyone who reblogs this, it means so much!

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution.

After a few hours of rummaging and searching through every drawer, cabinet, and closet you came across on the first floor, you still hadn’t even made it upstairs. But there really wasn’t much to find and you had yet to come across anything interesting. The closest you got was a photo album he kept on a shelf in the living room. You flipped through it quickly, but didn’t really take the time to actually look through it before you set it back down, making a mental note to come back to it later. You didn’t know what you were looking for, if anything at all, but you wanted to keep at it.

It was around noon when you wandered back into the kitchen. Your tummy was rumbling and you remembered seeing a jar of peanut butter in the pantry. You put together a simple peanut butter sandwich and filled up the glass of water you had used previously. Deciding to go back out to the patio, you ate peacefully outside.

As you sat out there, you finally felt calm enough to really think.

You were here. At Bucky’s house. Alone for the time being. You decided to ignore for the moment what happened earlier in the morning, and chose to focus more on the events of last night.. And really everything that had happened before then.

You knew you had to accept that there really wasn’t a way out of this. And you also had to accept that there was a part of you, a bigger part than you’d like to admit, that was almost.. okay with that.

You knew that Bucky could be a bad guy. Mean and rough and selfish. But you also knew he could be good. Loving and caring and attentive. The two opposing sides of him had you reeling half the time, yet despite it all, you still longed for him. And he was right - though you wished to god he wasn’t. Every attempt you made to put more distance between you two, the stronger the pull you had to him became. Even here, now, a part of you was hoping he’d be back soon…

Really, you wanted him to apologize. His behavior earlier was completely uncalled for and unjustified. You didn’t deserve to be treated and left like that. And it honestly hurt your feelings.

You mulled over these thoughts and feelings as you picked at your sandwich. You inhaled a deep breath and took a second to just look around. Though you were essentially stranded here, it wasn’t too horrible a place to be. Bucky obviously took good care of the place and the idea of moving in one day was starting to sound less and less terrible. You could manage. The main concern really was the personal issues you had with Bucky. The way he could make you feel so.. Small. Weak. Dependent. You hated it. You had never needed anyone before. And the fact that you were starting to feel as if.. as if maybe it was true, that you did need him, it truly scared you.

Bucky normally seemed to care when you were sad or upset - like he just wanted to take care of you and make you feel better.. safer. But this morning, he was completely different. He obviously didn’t respond well to any thoughts of you leaving him. But his fear was no justification for being so mean. And you didn’t think you could handle it from him. It hurt too much. More than any other hurt you’d been subjected to in your life , and you had been subjected to quite a bit. But from him, it felt so much worse and hurt so much deeper.

But he did say you were his. Forever. And it seemed certain that he meant it. So say you did need him. At least he would always be there. He promised he would. He said he loved you. As scary as it was, you knew you loved him, too. In spite of everything.

You loved him.

You knew you couldn’t deny it any longer, but that didn’t mean you were going to allow yourself to be complacent in this relationship.

You bit your lip as you sat thinking, playing with the half of the sandwich in your hands. You weren’t sure how long you sat out there, but when you stood to go back inside, you felt a little more sure of yourself and like you had a better grip on things. You felt more confident than you had before, but truthfully, that wasn’t really saying much. Nevertheless, though, you thought that maybe this would be okay. This would work out eventually. You just needed to talk to Bucky now. Set some boundaries. If you were going to stop fighting this, to really be together, you had to make some things clear. With a renewed sense of clarity, you went back inside to continue looking around.

It was nearing 5 o'clock and as bored as you were, you just kept wandering the house, trying to ignore the anxiousness you were feeling at the fact that Bucky still hadn’t come back. This morning had set you on edge, and he was obviously upset, but you didn’t think he would be gone all day. Then again, you had said you wanted some alone time. Maybe he was actually listening to you. You wanted to believe that, but something was telling you that wasn’t entirely true.

You were upstairs when you heard the front door open. A wave of relief came over you when you nearly ran to the balcony of the stairs and saw it was Bucky. That was short lived, though, as he dropped some boxes in the living room and completely ignored you.

You walked down the stairs, taking one step at a time as he went back outside. You got to the door and as you passed the boxes, stopped. They were filled with a bunch of your personal knick knacks. You stood in front of the box, perplexed, before Bucky walked back in and set down more boxes next to the others.

“Wh-what is all this?” you asked, feeling like you were missing something. He didn’t answer you, though, just walked back outside. You took a sharp breath and followed him outside. “Bucky,” you called his name to no response yet again.

When you actually went outside the sight of a small uhaul stunned you. Where was your car? And why was Bucky unloading boxes of your belongings from a fucking UHaul? More importantly, was he really still ignoring you?

As you stood there looking beyond confused, you saw your car approaching up the driveway. You squinted trying to see who the hell was behind the wheel and weren’t entirely shocked to see it was Steve. He pulled up next to the truck and parked.

“You left before me, where the fuck did you go?” Bucky said to him as he approached.

“I didn’t go anywhere, I just wasn’t driving 90 miles an hour in that piece of shit car,”

“Hey,” you said, offended. Bucky didn’t acknowledge you, but Steve’s gaze shot to you. His eyes drank you in, the sundress you were wearing was beyond flattering on your figure and your cleavage was well on display in the sweetheart neckline.

“Hey yourself, honey,” Steve said almost flirtatiously, making you roll your eyes at him as he continued eyeing you, his gaze lingering where it shouldn’t. Especially not with Bucky right next to him. “That’s a pretty dress, really hugs those curves nicely, doesn’t it,”

You were shocked at his braiseness and instinctively covered your arms in front of you. You opened your mouth to tell him something, but Bucky stepped in front of you, blocking you from Steve’s view. “Grab the rest of the boxes then get this truck out of here,” Bucky ordered as Steve slowly walked backwards to the back of the UHaul, eyes never leaving you. You scowled at him as he went, a smile etched on his face.

“Go inside and start unpacking,” Bucky said to you without turning around.

“No. No, w-we need to talk. Now,” you said angrily, your full attention now back on him.

“Go inside,” he nearly growled, still with his back to you. You stood firm in your spot, refusing to move. You had wanted to talk about this morning first, but from the looks of things, this moving situation seemed more pressing at the moment.

“Why did you bring so much of my stuff, Bucky? I-I never agreed to moving in here,” you paused when Steve walked past you holding your shoe rack in one hand and a box filled with accessories ranging from hats, scarves, purses, and jewelry in the other. “What the fuck?” You moved to stand in front of him, you needed to talk to him and him keeping his back to you was upsetting you more.

“I thought you were just bringing a few of my things, why are there so many boxes? What, did you just load up my entire house? You didn’t even ask me, Bucky! You can’t just move someone into your home because you want to, are you insane?”

Still no response.

“You can’t just take over everything, Bucky. I have a life, ya know? Responsibilities. I’m not just gonna stay out here and play house with you. Especially when you’re ignoring me and everything I’m saying to you. You keep saying that I ‘just don’t get it’, but you’re the one who obviously isn’t seeing things clearly. You don’t get it. You don’t get me, and you’re not even trying to understand where I’m coming from, either.” You gave him a moment to respond, but he didn’t.

“Look if you’re not gonna talk to me, if you can’t even look at me, I’m not staying here a second longer,” you said before storming back inside to get your keys from Steve.

You didn’t look back at Bucky as you went, figuring he was just gonna act like nothing happened while he continued moving your things from the back of the UHaul.

You entered the house and found Steve lounging on the sofa in the living room.

“Oh good, you done fighting out there?” he said as he watched you walk up to him.

“Give me my keys,” you demanded.

“Mmm, I’m gonna say no.”

“Give. me. my. Keys.” you repeated, enunciating each word as you spoke.

“Are you pissed about the furniture, is that it? He just figured, he’s already got everything here, no point in bringing all yours.”

“What? No. I mean- wait, what? What did you do with my furniture?”

“Don’t worry about it. We got all the important and sentimental stuff for you. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I’m sorry, do you expect me to thank you for helping him pack up my home without me having any say in the matter?”

He just smirked as he looked up at you from where he sat.

“Well, you don’t have to say it in words, I’m sure you can show me your gratitude some other way,” he said as he spread his thighs wider, seemingly inviting you in.

“Are you fucking insane?” you asked genuinely before he reached out and pulled your hand, bringing you closer to him. His touch was gentle and you could tell he was just playing with you, trying to ruffle your feathers. You weren’t sure why you weren’t as annoyed as you’d usually be, maybe Steve was growing on you, but you didn’t pull away as he pulled you in. In fact, you saw the lanyard of your keys sticking out from his jacket pocket and resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his idiocy. Instead you stepped in closer to him and smiled a tight lipped smile before leaning down, coming face to face with him.

“You’re being an asshole, and so is your friend out there. So, no. I’m not gonna say thank you. I’m just gonna go,” you said before quickly pulling your keys from him and turning to leave. You heard him chuckle, but ignored it. You didn’t have anything with you, and you were barefoot, but you didn’t care. Your phone was in your car, so at least you’d have that.

As you approached the threshold of the door, you were forced to backup as Bucky entered with the last of your things. He set them down, grabbed your keys from your hand and continued past you. You stood there a second, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance and confusion, and a tiny bit of hurt.

Bucky threw a different set of keys to Steve, which he caught easily. “Get back to the shop, the paperwork should be good to go. Have Peter take the truck back when you get there and then fill everyone else in on the new operations.”

“You gonna be there later?”

“I’ll call you.”

Steve got up and passed you on his way out, turning to look down at before he left. “Ya know, you’re starting to grow on me, sugar. Sure I’ll be seeing you around,” he looked back to Bucky, nodding his head at him, “Later, Buck,” And with that, he was gone, the door shutting behind him.

You turned expecting to see Bucky, but he apparently still didn’t want to deal with you as he was gone. You tried not to pout as you felt that same sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that had been bugging you since the morning.

You walked into the kitchen and found him at the fridge.

“I’m not moving in with you.”

Bucky exhaled, clearly annoyed, as he shut the door to the fridge.

“You can’t just make life changing decisions for me and expect me to just go with it.”

“I told you,” he said as he turned on you, finally acknowledging your presence. “You don’t get to make the decisions anymore. I know what’s best for you. For us. End of discussion.”

“End of discussion? That’s it, huh? Just gonna go back to ignoring me, then?”

He didn’t respond as you stared at him, anger and hurt running through you and showing clearly in your eyes.

“Right,” you scoffed before you went back to the living room.

A few minutes later, Bucky emerged from the kitchen. You thought maybe he was going to talk to you, say something. Anything. But he didn’t. He just went upstairs, bringing a couple boxes of your stuff with him.

You were beyond annoyed. And you needed to talk to him. But what was the point when he just kept ignoring you? It felt like if you tried, it would lead to nowhere. But still, you had to. You couldn’t leave things like this for much longer. It was really getting to you. Huffing, you got up and followed him upstairs.

If anything, this was starting to feel like a punishment. Like ignoring you was his way of getting back at you for trying to leave, for saying that you needed alone time. You entered the room, hating that you were feeling more and more desperate for his attention.

“This isn’t fair,” was all you said, voice quite as he set down one of the boxes.

“I was trying to be honest with you. Trying to talk to you and work things out and this is how you react? You know, I am being more than reasonable and understanding given the circumstances, I’m giving you another shot, after everything. After all you did. And this - this is how you treat me?” You waited for him to respond. Or even just to turn to you. He didn’t.

“Goddamn it, Bucky, stop ignoring me!” you shouted. “Please,” you said, voice breaking as you stared at him, eyes pleading. You didn’t know what came over you, but you weren’t used to being ignored by him and his lack of care was making you feel terribly. You hadn’t felt this badly at his hands since the night he assaulted you. You had just started to believe he wouldn’t treat you like that again. Yet, here he was.

He walked up to you and held your face in his hands, looking down at you with pity.

“You did this to yourself. You need to learn your lesson, and I’m gonna make sure you do,” you whimpered slightly as he ran his thumb along your cheek, leaning his head down closer to you. “Don’t let those tears fall just yet, sweetheart. Save ‘em for when I’m fucking the last bits of stubborness out of you,” he said in your ear before giving your jaw a squeeze and letting you go entirely, walking toward the door. “I’ll be back later.”

“What,” you asked, sounding more upset than you would have liked to let on, despite knowing he must have felt it anyway.

“You’ve been gone all day. Where are you going?”

He kept walking, not answering you.

You followed behind him like a puppy running after their owner, but he paid you no mind. If you had seen the smirk on his face, no doubt you would have snapped out of your pathetic stupor, but you didn’t as he kept on toward the door.

“Bucky, please,”

Your anxiety almost had him turning around to comfort you on instinct, but he fought the urge to do so. He was set on making you see that it wasn’t just him. He wasn’t crazy, it was the connection between you. If you were denied your soulmate’s comfort the way you had denied him, you would act like he was. Just as needy, just as desperate. Willing to do anything for it. Not that he’d let you get that desperate. He knew you’d crack sooner rather than later. He could feel it. Because it wasn’t just him who needed you, you needed him in return.

He had to be sure you would see that. He had to be sure you realized it. And until he was sure, he’d be damned if he broke first. He could keep this up. To prove his point, he had to. And it wouldn’t take much longer.

“Wha-..what time are you gonna be back?”

“Late,” he said as he walked out the door. You stood in the living room feeling stupid for being so sad. And at the roar of his bike coming to life outside, you felt a tear slip down before you quickly brushed it away. You felt so unlike yourself.

You were crying over him leaving, which, granted, you had done before, but this time was different. You felt so much more pathetic. And he hadn’t even apologized. You should be angry with him. A part of you was, but moreso, you just wanted him to hold you and tell you he was sorry and that everything would be okay and he’d never treat you like that again. Because you were important and you deserved better than that and he loved you. Because he did love you. So why the hell wasn’t he acting like it. You went back upstairs and decided to just get ready for bed. You removed your dress and changed into pjs and did your nighttime routine.

You went back downstairs and got yourself more water, not bothering with food as you didn’t have much of an appetite at the moment. You wandered to the living room and picked up the photo album you had found earlier. You took a seat on the couch, which was a lot more comfortable than it looked, and started flipping through the photos on the pages. As you went through them, you essentially watched Bucky grow up through the pictures. He was a really cute baby. And his mother and sisters were gorgeous. Good genes, evidently. You didn’t see any photos of his father, but you didn’t really expect to.

A photo of him and Steve when they were kids made you laugh out loud before making you emotional. They looked so innocent. They were so innocent. And life had been so cruel to the both of them. It was easy to be angry at them. There was no excuse for why they were both such assholes so much of the time, but at the very least you could understand why they were as hardened as they were. Bucky, moreso. They weren’t always the jerks they are most of the time now. And maybe, one day, you’d get to see them as they were before. Before they let the world turn them so harsh. Maybe one day their facades would finally drop for good. You had seen Bucky be so gentle and caring and loving, you just wished he could stay that way instead of reverting back to being so cold and bitter and mean. Maybe if they could stop being so afraid of getting hurt again. If they could allow themselves to be human, for god’s sake, to feel their feelings, they could get that part of themselves back.

You weren’t saying you were Steve’s biggest fan or anything, but from the stories Bucky had told you, you knew he wasn’t all bad. He couldn’t be.

Teenage Bucky seemed to be quite the charmer from the looks of him in those photos. Him before dances, him with girlfriends, at prom, then graduation. Then there seemed to be a gap of time missing. You could easily guess as to why that was. In the photos following his teen years, he seemed to be in them a lot less. You saw pictures of Nat and Sam and Steve. Some of the guys you recognized from the bar and the diner, but had yet to meet. It seemed to you that Bucky was the guy behind the camera for these photos as he was not in the shot for any of them. It was pictures of birthday parties, halloweens, apparent vacations, and some just around the city and at work. Finally you came across one of just him. It was an obvious candid, he must have had no clue he was being photographed. It was outside of a garage, he was shirtless, metal arm on full display as he worked on a bike. And he looked so beautiful. Focused and attentive on his work. You almost wanted to take it and keep it for yourself before you quickly turned the page, shaking the thought along with it.

The last photo, and most recent, was the opening of the shop they had in town. Everyone was in it and you admired the looks of happiness on their faces. They looked, truly, like family. And Bucky’s brilliant smile was what you seemed to focus on as you examined the picture. Him and Steve were in the middle of the group as they all huddled in for the photo, it was touching when you didn’t think about the crimes they were surely committing and running out of said shop.

With a sigh, you put the album back where you found it before making your way back upstairs to Bucky’s room. Was it your room now, too? You thought briefly.

Suddenly, you paused your ascension up the stairs and remembered your phone. You quickly turned around and went back down, hoping that Bucky had left your keys somewhere. You were delighted to find them on the counter in the kitchen and ran outside to your car.

The thought of leaving briefly floated through your mind but, you didn’t really want to. Instead, you opened your car and found your phone right where you had left it, still on the charging cable.

The lack of notifications was a little disappointing, but in all actually, there were more than you normally received. A few texts and a missed call from Eva, a text from your sister, and a bunch of email and app notifications for nothing important.

After locking your car back up, you went inside and upstairs. You responded to Eva’s texts asking you if you wanted to hang out earlier in the day with an apology about having lost your phone. You asked her if she’d be up for a movie night on Saturday instead, even though you had no clue if that’d even be possible for you at the moment.

Your sister had sent you a video from TikTok and you were grateful for the short reprieve you found in it. It was your type of humor exactly and you didn’t know how badly you needed a genuine laugh until it came to you.

You went through your emails, half of them spam, and the other half trivial and unimportant.

You then put on some music and started unpacking the boxes Bucky had brought up. What was the use in fighting when he had already moved all of your stuff for you. You were sure there was use, somewhere in you, you just couldn’t find it.

You opened the closet and found it nearly empty. It was huge and there was so much space. Bucky obviously didn’t have much in the way of clothing. You took advantage of the room and hung up all the clothes you had that needed to be hung. And even after you did that, the closet was still nowhere near full. You moved onto the box filled with random knick knacks but didn’t really feel comfortable taking them out. Instead you put the box back on the floor and focused on getting the rest of your toiletries and makeup and bathroom things unpacked.

You were getting tired, but you wanted to stay up and wait for Bucky to get back. Your resolve was quickly crumbling, though, with each yawn that slipped from you. Your eyes were bleary as you checked the time and you decided to give up and go to sleep. You were thankful you weren’t on the schedule for tomorrow so you’d have at least another day to figure out your new situation.

You laid down on the bed but quickly got up, remembering the scene from this morning. You cringed internally then grabbed the comforter and removed the sheets from the bed. You remembered seeing the laundry machine downstairs and went to start a load. Feeling slightly grateful that you had a reason to stay up a little longer.

The sheets washed quickly and dried even quicker. The comforter took longer, but you didn’t mind. As you made the bed and rechecked the time, you were on the verge of passing out. It was nearing 10pm and you didn’t know how much longer Bucky would be gone for, but you couldn’t stay up much longer, either. And the sheets were so soft, the comforter so warm and inviting. You slipped under the covers and didn’t even turn off your music as you succumbed to sleep.

You didn’t know how much time had passed, but the sound of a motorcycle woke you up. You didn’t actually get up, though. You just laid there, debating on what you should do. A few minutes later, you heard the front door open and listened as Bucky came upstairs. You pretended to be sleeping as he came in the room, wanting to see what he was gonna do.

The sound of his clothes coming off was what you heard first before he went to his dresser and grabbed out what you assumed were another pair of sweats. He went into the bathroom and came out a while later. You were anticipating him getting into his bed, but he didn’t. Instead, you heard him leave the room completely. You laid there still as you waited for him to come back. But after too long passed, you realized he wasn’t going to.

You wrapped your arms around yourself as you tried to relax and tell yourself to just go back to sleep. But you couldn’t. You were about to lose your mind. You needed him. You needed Bucky. And you knew that’s what he wanted all along, but you didn’t care that he was forcing you into the realization. Because no matter what, he was right and you couldn’t deny it anymore. You just needed him. So you crawled out of the bed, and set on your way to get him.

[cozy-mp3]

messy girl

ellie x female!reader

you and ellie find a grove of peach trees on your patrol. more importantly, you get fingered.

word count: 2.2k

warnings: smut, vaginal fingering (reader receiving), dom/sub undertones but they're very much undertones, dirty talk? maybe?, you're very in love, ellie calls you honey, ellie also has a happy trail because i say so.

a/n: i haven't written fanfic in a Very long time pls be nice lol. not beta read, all the terrible punctuation choices and bad pacing are still here for your viewing pleasure. lowercase intended bc i'm lazy. feedback is appreciated i'm a bit of a slut for praise.

MINORS AND MEN DO NOT INTERACT OR I'LL CRY

it's the middle of july when you spot it; a cluster of fruit trees off the road on a lesser traversed patrol route. the branches are bowing with the weight of the fruit; big, plump, juicy peaches the size of two fists pressed together. you can't help the flutter of excitement in your stomach as you veer off the road, ignoring ellie’s confused shout of your name. fruit, fresh fruit, when was the last time you’d had that? you can almost taste the flesh on your tongue and the juice in your mouth already.

“hey, slow down,” ellie calls, steering shimmer to follow you into the trees, “what is it?” she asks before she spots the trees herself, digging her heel into shimmer’s side so they falls into step with your own horse.

“peaches, el,” you gush, turning to her with a wide smile, “c’mon, we’ve got to try them before we bring them back, poison control.” you tell her, your smile turning slightly conspiratorial as she laughs.

once you reach the grove you dismount, boots hitting the soft grass with a thud. it even smells less stale here, a light breeze carrying the smell of grass and sunbaked dirt, no stench of blood or the decaying flesh of the infected. you reach up and pick two fruits from the closest tree before you turn back to ellie, they’re soft and heavy in your palm and you can already smell the perfume of them before the skins been broken. it makes your mouth water.

“for you, my lady,” you smile, passing her one of the peaches and watching as her fingers curl around it. her knuckles are scabbed over, as they always seem to be and her nails could use a trim, but her skin is tanned from time spent in the sun and the way her tattoo curves from her forearm towards her palm makes you squirm the way it always does.

“thank you, darling,” she replies with the same mock formality, oblivious to your continued staring at her hands as she tosses the fruit between her palms, looking up at the trees, “there’s no way we can bring all these back to jackson ourselves,” she muses aloud, “we’ll definitely have to come back tomorrow with a group, shouldn’t be too hard to persuade people though.”

she stops talking to take a bite of the fruit, the juice spilling out of her mouth and over her jaw as she groans at the taste. you’re stood entranced as you watch her; the furrow in her brow as she assess the trees, the shifting of her jaw as she chews, the juice of the peach making a slow path down her fingers towards her palm. the way her body moves beneath her light summer clothes as she turns back towards you only to let out a short laugh at the look on your face.

“What’s got you so distracted, honey?” she asks, familiar cocky smirk already firmly etched onto her features as she ambles over to you, “you’ve ruined that poor peach,” she chuckles, nodding down at your hands. looking down you realize that much to your embarrassment, you’d dug your fingers into the ripe flesh of the fruit, your own fingers covered in sticky sweet juice.

“ellie,” you whine, face heating as you loosen your grip, the fruit falling to the ground with a dull thump, “i wasn’t distracted,” you huff petulantly, breaking eye contact with her to reach into your pocket for a cloth to clean your hands with, glad that you had remembered to pack one this morning.

“oh, you were totally distracted,” ellie laughs, taking an obnoxious bite of her peach and smirking over at you, “it’s ok though, honey, i like it when you stare at me,” she hums, stepping closer to you, only stopping when the toes of her battered sneakers are touching the toes of your boots, “here, let me.” she says softly, holding the peach in her mouth so she can take your hands into hers.

she wipes away the sticky juice gently, taking time to clean between each of your fingers with her brows furrowed. you take advantage of your newfound closeness by continuing your careful studying of her, this time her face. she’s caught some sun over the past few months, the tops of her cheeks red and her freckles prominent against her tan. her hair is pulled away from her face in its usual style and there’s a few beads of sweat building at her hairline from the sun beating down on you both all morning. she has a pimple on her forehead that she’s sure to complain about later and as she finishes wiping your hands off the peach in her mouth begins to drip steadily onto her chin. you think she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen.

“there you go, babe,” she smiles, using one hand to take the fruit out of her mouth and the other to tuck the cloth back into your pocket, “my messy girl,” she hums, eyes full of affection as they meet yours again, the back of her free hand wiping off the juice from her chin.

“you’re messier than me,” you mumble, reaching forward to wipe your thumb over her slightly sticky chin, “you’re always getting yourself covered in shit, els” you say, suddenly aware of the way your breath is almost mingling and the intense look in her eyes. it’s all so intimate it almost makes your toes curl inside your boots.

ellie doesn’t bother to respond, her hands coming to cup your cheeks as she surges forward to kiss you. you dully register the sound of her peach falling to the ground, forgotten, as she backs you up against one of the trees, the trunk helping to stabilize you both as she pushes her jean clad thigh between your legs.

she mumbles a curse against your lips, nipping at your lower lip gently as her hands move from your cheeks to your shoulders, your waist and your hips where they finally settle. your own hands grip her shoulders, your nails digging into her shirt as she kisses the corner of your mouth before pulling away to look at you.

“we didn’t see any infected for a couple miles on our way up here, right?,” she asks, glancing down at your lips before they meet yours again as you shake your head, “we should be fine then, as long as you’re not too loud,” she says breathlessly, her hands squeezing your hips before her lips reattach to yours.

you’re being reckless and you both know it, but you can’t bring yourself to care as ellie’s thigh pushes up against your core and you whimper against her lips. there’s a knife in your boot and a gun on your hip should worst come to worst. you know ellie wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you either, she’s saved your ass before and she would do it again.

“ellie, please,” you gasp as she begins to kiss down your neck, “i need you,” you sigh, fingers tugging her hair loose before pulling the way that you know makes her groan and soak her panties, “need more,” you gasp again, pulling her hair harder as she bites down on your neck.

“i’ll give you what you need, honey,” she mumbles into your skin, sucking a mark right where she can feel your pulse beneath your skin, “be patient though, ‘m having fun,” she says, kissing your jaw before pulling away to tug your shirt over your head, not bothering with your sports bra, only pressing a few kisses to the tops of your breasts before her hands are fumbling with the button on your jeans.

the warm breeze feels good on your overheated skin as you pull ellie’s top free from where its tucked into her pants, your fingers trailing over her stomach beneath the fabric as you take a moment to appreciate the way she feels. her abs feel firm beneath your touch and you can feel your pussy clench around nothing as your fingers find the light scratch of her little happy trail.

“you’re so hot, els,” you say, leaning down to kiss her forehead where she’s pressed her face to your breasts. she grins up at you, teeth and all, self assured as always and it makes your heart swell in your chest. god, you love her. “‘love you,” you tell her softly, pulling your hands out from under her shirt so that you can cup her jaw and gently pull her face back up to your own.

“love you too, honey,” she smiles, eyes all syrupy sweet as she looks at you for a few moments before her lips meet yours again, “love you more than anything,” she says as she pulls your jeans down to your thighs, her fingers gently prodding at the wet spot on your panties, “gonna give you what you were asking for now, sweetheart.” she tells you as she starts to rub at your clit through the damp fabric.

your face flushes again when you feel how you’ve soaked through the fabric but you’re quickly distracted by ellie’s fingers and her mouth reattaching to yours. you know it won’t take long to get you off, you’re wound up tight already and ellie knows exactly what you like, just how to rub and stroke to make your knees weak.

you choke on a gasp as your panties are pulled to the side and ellie lets two fingers rub slowly at your exposed cunt. she pushes more of her weight up against you, forcing you to lean harder against the tree as she gatherers up your slick on her fingers so she can fit them inside of you without any resistance.

“so gorgeous,” ellie tells you, bumping her nose against yours affectionately and watching as your face twists in pleasure, “‘m gonna fuck you now,” she says, kissing your jaw before pushing her fingers into you one at a time, her wrist twisting to find the angle that makes you moan.

“ellie,” you gasp as her fingers curl into you and work up to a steady pace, her calloused thumb rubbing circles into your clit, “els that feels so good,” you moan, your head falling back to rest on the tree exposing the length of your throat. your focus was completely zeroed in on the woman in front on you, on her hand between your legs and her eyes resting heavy on your throat, your heaving chest, the way your brows pull together in pleasure.

“i can feel your pussy clenching, honey,” ellie hums, looking down at her hand between your legs and watching as your slick runs from your swollen pussy and down her wrist, “are you really gonna cum so fast?” she asks, her lips quirking back into a smirk, “do i make you feel that good?” she teases, pressing deeper inside of you and moving her fingers faster.

“you know you do, asshole.” you whine, throwing your forearm over your eyes and pushing your hips towards her hand, “‘m gonna cum, els,” you moan not a minute later, your free hand grabbing for purchase on her shoulder, “you’re gonna make me cum so hard.” you gasp, your walls clenching tight around her knuckles as she works you over the edge.

you can feel your pulse in your pussy as you cum, your back arching and your nails digging into ellie’s shoulder. you can feel her muscles shift as she alters her grip on you, wrapping her arm around your waist to hold you steady as she fucks you through your peak, your pussy gushing over her fingers and thighs trembling around her forearm.

“there you go, baby,” she coos, kissing your shoulder and helping you stand up with the support of the tree, “such a good girl,” she says as she brushes your hair out of your face, gently removing her fingers from you, “best girl in the world,” she adds with a smile, kissing both your flushed cheeks and huffing out a laugh at your dazed expression.

“i love you,” you mumble, turning your cheek so you can kiss her palm where it rests against your face, “i can’t feel my toes,” you say with a tired little smile as ellie laughs, leaning forward so she can kiss you.

“love you, love you, love you,” she says softly, kissing your forehead, your nose and then your lips, “and i’m glad i could make you feel so good,” she hums, gently pushing your hands away from her belt when you reach to undo it, “don’t need anything from you right now, sweetheart, makes me feel good to make you feel good.” she tells you, laughing at your pout before she kisses it away.

“i’m eating you out when we get home,” you tell her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders and pressing your forehead against hers, “i wanna make you drip all over my chin.” you say, kissing the corner of her smile.

“see,” ellie says, smirk already slipping back into place on her face, “i told you, you’re the messy one, my messy girl.”

[lostaurorax]

from three to five?

pairing | stucky x pregnant!reader

summary | reader finds out she’s pregnant and tells the boys but they all get suprised in the end

warnings | pregnancy and indication of smut

a/n | hi my darlings!!!!! i love stucky with all my heart and wrote this bc i thought it would be super cute! i apologize if their are any mistakes about the pregnancy thing and the ultrasound stuff because quite frankly i know absolutely NOTHING about pregnancy except the basic stuff that everyone knows. anyway i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did writing it!! reblogs and feedback is greatly appreciated <3 feel free to send in requests!!

the minute you found out you were pregnant you couldn’t wait to tell your husbands knowing how happy they would be from countless amounts of times they told you they had wanted to have kids especially with you.

after a romantic dinner that wanda and nat had  thoroughly helped you plan you had come back home to the compound eager for your boys to find out the surprise.

as you walked into the living room wanda and nat were sitting their talking

“ah your back! so how was the date!” wanda said when she noticed your presence

“it was great! we’re gonna call it a night. we’ll see you ladies in the morning.” steve said as he grabbed three water bottles from the fridge and waved to the girls

“good to hear! good night..” nat said winking at you when the boys had turned their backs to them confirming it was all set

“god my feet are killing me!” you said as you took your shoes off and continued walking down the hall to your bedroom

“yeah? change out of that dress and me and stevie will run you a bath alright doll?” bucky said placing his hand on your back as steve was twisting the handle on the door

“okay buck” you said smiling knowing that probably wasn’t going to happen

as steve flicked the light switch on his foot steps came to a halt causing bucky to bump into him

“hey wh-” bucky said before realizing why steve had stopped

their was a bunch of blue and pink balloons scattered around the room, two pregnancies tests lying on the bed with a poster board that said ‘barnes-rogers baby coming soon…’ on it

as the boys turned back to look at you to confirm if what they were seeing was a dream or not it was immediately confirmed when they saw the wide smile on your face

“suprise!!”

after neither of them said anything for a minute or two you turned to walk in front of them

“hey is something wrong?” you said as your mind was racing with scenarios in which they weren’t happy that you were pregnant

as you were about to say something else both boys wrapped their arms around you and you swore you’d never felt more safe

“nothings wrong sweetheart nothing at all. it’s just we’ve dreamed of this day for so long and we can’t believe it’s actually happening.” bucky said as you felt a warm tear hit your face from his

“we love you doll so so much, and we can’t wait to raise a baby with you.”

“yeah?” you said pulling away from the hug to look at them with red noses and tear stained eyes

“yeah” they said in sync just admiring you

it didn’t last long until you were all attacking eachother like hungry animals

the next morning you woke up with two super soldiers on top of you one with his hand on your stomach and one with his hand on your boob

you couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight

as you tried slipping from beneath them to start to get ready you were stopped when weight was pressed on too you and multiple pleas were heard

“doll where are you going? it’s too early stay in bed” steve said as he nuzzled his head into your neck

“stevie we have to get ready.” you said stroking his hair through your fingers still a knotted mess from last night

“ready for what?”he said as you felt his eyebrows knit against your neck

“i have a ultrasound appointment scheduled for today.” you said knowing that would wake the both of them up

and it did like two children on christmas morning

“i’ve got breakfast!” bucky said as he kissed you on the cheek and slipped on some joggers to exit the room

“i’ll start getting ready.” steve said as he ran to the bathroom leaving you their giddy at the idea of your boys being this excited for your tiny human that wasn’t even born yet. imagining what they’d be like when it was born.

it took about two hours for you all to be ready and out of the house with a few arguments on why you shouldn’t drive and they should you ended up winning because they had no idea where the doctors office you went to was.

after about a 20 minute drive you had arrived at the doctors office checking in you all sat in the waiting room until your name was called. as you watched bucky and steve’s face all you could see was nervousness in their eyes as they looked around at all the pregnant moms and how different they all looked. some were earlier on in their trimester some were at the very end.

“you okay?” you asked them placing a hand on each of their knees

“hm yeah yeah we’re good! doing fine doll.” bucky said steve nodding in agreement

“alright we’ll their about to call my name so i wanna make sure your alright to head in their…” you said with a grin on your face

“we’re fine just a little nervous!”steve said kissing your cheek

after 5 minutes had past of you and the boys talking about baby names and you repeatedly telling them the baby would not be named ‘buckeve’ which was a name they had made up between a combination of their names your name had finally been called

“y/n?”

in usion your heads all turned to the voice and stood up

“it’s nice to see you all! please follow me!” the nurse said

you followed her to the room and listens to the instructions she gave you

“okay so your doctor is with any other patient right now but he should be too much longer so what i’m gonna have you do is sit tight for a few minutes and he’ll come in and set you up okay?”

with a nod of your head and a smile the nurse left telling all you have to enjoy the rest of your day and that she hopes everything goes well.

a knock on the door had halted your conversation with the boys

“come in!” you said

“we’ll hello y/n! how are you doing?” the doctor with the gray hair and winkled face said as he smiled at you

“hi! i’m doing well thank you! these are my husbands james and steve!” you said motioning to the men on the right of you as they waved

“ah well it’s nice to meet you! are you excited to see your baby for the first time?” he said as he started setting up his equipment

“yes very excited! a little nervous though.” steve said placing his hand on the back of your beck a gesture he would do that made you feel protected

“oh well i promise there’s nothing to be nervous about! everything will be just fine. now y/n can you pull your shirt up so i can place this cream on your stomach?” he said

“yeah of course!” you said lifting your shirt

“alright this is gonna be a litte cold just wanna warn you!” he said as he went to place the cream on your stomach

“oh yeah that’s cold!” you said as he placed the cream all over your stomach

“sorry about that! alright let me get this all set up so we can see your baby!” he said grabbing the wand part of the ultrasound machine

as the doctor got the machine working he explained to you what he was gonna be doing so you could somewhat understand what was going on.

“alright let’s see here! welp that’s your baby their on the screen! your very early on so it’s only the size of maybe a pea now but it’ll definitely grow quickly!” he said as tears filled your eyes and the boys both stared at the screen in awe

“hang on a minute..” the doctor said immediately wiping the look of joy on your face and replacing it with worry

“is something wrong sir?” bucky asked concerned

“no no nothings wrong! i just think i might’ve made a miscalculation that’s all.” he said giving any context

“and that miscalculation would be….” you said impatient

“looks like your having twins! congrats!!” he said with a massive smile on his face showing off his perfectly straight and white teeth

“twins??” bucky said in disbelief while you still couldn’t speak in utter shock and feeling like the happiest woman in the world

“oh my god…we’re gonna have twins!!” you said looking back at bucky and steve as the realization hit you.

“i’ll get these printed out and give you guys a bit of privacy. congratulations you three! these kids are so lucky to have you all.” he said as he walked out

you all sat their in shock and pure joy for what seemed to be forever before a noise was finally heard

you turned back to see bucky trying to wipe the tears falling from his eyes

“oh buck c’mere!” you said with open arms

“i’m sorry doll i’m just so happy. i never in my life would’ve thought anything like this would happen to me. this is the happiest day of my life! you both make me so happy! i just love you so much doll so so much.” he said sobbing into your neck

“i love you more bucky. i’m so proud of you.” you said rubbing his back as you mouthed ‘i’m proud of you too stevie’ to steve and he smiled knowing without you even having to tell him

as the day went on all the boys could talk about was your babies. what their names would be,their genders,how you would dress them,what their nursery would look like, just basically anything and everything.

you just admired the pure admiration on the boys faces as they talked about your children and you couldn’t believe how lucky you were.

[catch-the-wind]

the firsts: fixing his bike

happy valentine's day! it's been a while but this is part (3/3) of the last of my biker!xiao hc's. i wanted to make it one post but i had several ideas and it got too long so i made it into a shorter three-parter instead. i won't post more ab biker!xiao unless otherwise prompted bc i feel like ppl reading are probably getting sick of it ehe

but anyway! thank you so much for reading! i would love to hear more feedback, it's really encouraging. i think my read more cut is still a little wonky on the blog itself, but the cut on the dash works just fine! thank you again for reading! much love, please enjoy :D

xiao and a motorcycle || riding with xiao || dating biker!xiao || the firsts: i love you || the firsts: kiss(es...) || the firsts: fixing his bike

tags: genshin impact, genshin impact x reader, xiao, xiao x reader, suggestive, tw suggestive, biker!xiao

fixing the bike with you around

he didn’t really plan anything with you while he fixed his bike bc he didn’t want to force you to wait or hang out and not do anything while he worked

but you wanted to sit and talk w him while he worked and had to convince him that any time spent together was time well-spent and of course he can’t deny that smile when it’s directed at him

so when you follow him to his bike, you sit and start conversation, talking to this man who only ever has long conversations with you and a limited number of other people

he keeps up the conversation, looking up at you every so often, smiling or laughing at something you said

he’s got his sleeves pushed up and his tattoos ripple while he works and it’s. it’s distracting-

so when it’s silent for a bit, he looks up to see you staring at his forearms with an odd kind of glazed-over focus. and when your eyes flick up to meet his gaze…

he feels his mouth go a bit dry and he swallows before turning back to the work

suddenly he’s fumbling a bit, his mind drawing blanks as to what exactly he planned to do with this part and that tool and god what were they for because all he can think of is that look in your eyes and the way your lips parted and that focus on his tattooed forearms and the way you look when you lick your lips or you bite your lip and how he thinks he wants to try doing it for you-

and then you’re sidling up to his side and asking if you can help at all with what he’s doing- your voice is husky when you speak but so is his as he replies and he’s got some sort of internal panic goin on bc wow you’re so close and when did you get so close and wow you smell nice and you’re so warm against his side and he likes this but also wow you’re making him nervous and his mouth rebels when it tells you that yes you can help and then his hands rebel as they teach you how to clean this part so he can use it later and suddenly his brain goes very AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGHGHHGHH when you press a kiss to his jaw and get to cleaning-

you thought you were distracted when he was fixing the bike? his eyes are on your hands most of the time so much that he’s forgetting that he’s also supposed to be working

and once the bike is fixed, he’s pushing you against something, the table, the

creeper stool, the bike, the wall-? (it’s the wall. let’s imagine the wall.) and his lips are on yours, his hands gentle but firm on your face while he encourages you to tangle your fingers in his and no he doesn’t care about the grease shut up

hands are moving, getting shirts greasy. the table/bike/chair/wall has also gotten greasy and his chest is pressing against yours and his mouth is so insistent and feels so good moving against yours like this and he’s got this little frown like he wants to kiss you more, kiss you harder, but his hands are gentle and sweet and still firm and at some point his hands moved to your own and tangled your fingers together to push against the wall because god your hands are distracting him

and his lips travel over your cheek down to your jaw and nips gently there, kissing down your neck- god you looked so good fixing his bike, your hands fixing it the way he taught you to, and you look so utterly right doing this, with his bike, looking so at home. doing things just right, looking just right when you touch the bike and he’s remembering how you look sitting on the bike, mounting or dismounting it

or even leaning back over the handlebars while he kisses you, his hand at your nape and his lips on yours or moving at your neck the way they were now anD WHEW OKAY WHEw i’m gonna. gonna stop there with those thoughts ehe ahem um ahem um yes yes stopping i’m okay i’m totally. yes.

[orange-waterfalls]

I Call This One: Bold & Brash!

The egos x artist! gn! reader

ty @pokemonpunqueen for the request!

A/N: I’ve decided that I’m gonna write for the egos when I can’t think of anything else or I need practice writing lmao. I mean I was doing that before? But I didn’t know it? listen it’s fine it’ll be fine but FOR NOW I thiiiink I’m gonna take requests. Just a few. I’ll stop when I think it gets too much. This is exactly what it says. I focused on like drawing/painting for “artist”, with some references to animation thrown in there. I did Darkiplier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Google, Eric, and a Host thrown in there bc I love him and I miss him

Word count is 1.5k

Enjoy

Egos x artist!reader

Darkiplier

He’ll want to commission art from you

He makes comments about how Mark is a narcissist but also he’s a narcissist.

Oh look, Dark’s asking you for another picture. What does he want? He wants you to draw him? Again? For the fifth time this fucking month? Wonderful.

He likes looking at how you make art of him, be it stylistic or realistic

He will hang them up all over the fucking house so pace yourself

He’s fine if you draw anybody else

Except Mark. Never Mark. How can he tell, you ask? No fucking clue, but he does

Gets a bit worried that you won’t make enough money to live comfortably

Just because not everyone needs a fucking MANSION-

Will always buy things for you if you ask

Likes to be able to support your job or hobby

Sugar daddy? I mean maybe

Makes sure you eat, sleep, drink water, survive--

Leaves snacks for you at your desk for when you don’t want a meal.

Carries you to bed if you fall asleep at a desk

Recommends you wear comfy clothes at all times so you can fall asleep wherever

A bit of an enabler, he’s doing his best tho

If you take commissions don’t be surprised if he threatens to kill someone when they don’t pay or are rude to you

He loves you, that’s all

Wilford

Fucking elated

Draw him!!! Please!!!! Please draw him!!!!! He has coin!!!!! He can pay!!!!!

Ecstatic if you actually draw him like he’ll giggle for an hour straight just looking

Secretly commissions more art from you

So also sugar daddy

It’s always something so obvious so you know it’s him anyways

He likes bright colors and eyestrain for some reason

If you make that, he just. Stares at it. Unblinking. You have to snap him out of it (im not projecting what do you mean)

Gets extremely worried about you not taking care of yourself

Gets someone to fucking babysit you when he’s gone so you take care of yourself

When you get greatly offended by this he settles for texting you reminders

And when you ignore those he texts more

Don’t be surprised if you get spammed by several people and an alarm starts to play from somewhere in the house

You’re gonna be healthy whether you like it or not, asshole

Drags you to bed aggressively

He WILL NOT drug your food with melatonin because that’s illegal. B U T-

He’s a little confused, but he got the spirit

Will advertise your art to anyone and everyone and also on his show and threatens the audience with a gun

AGAIN, a little confused. he just wuvs u so much 

Yancy

I mean technically he’s kind of an artist too so he appreciates your skill and creativity

He’s very nosy and likes to look over your shoulder while you work

If you don’t like him doing that, he still does it, just more secretively

Likes to work in the same room as you. 

That is if you don’t mind constant singing or tap dancing in the background

He shows off your art to anyone and everyone and gets mad if they don’t immediately say it’s fantastic

May or may not have stabbed someone over it, you’ll never know

If you show him something you’re working on, he’ll show you something he’s working on in return

The law of equivalent exchange

You tell him you can make MONEY from things like art and dancing and he goes apeshit he gets so fucking excited

If you’re like an animator and offer to animate his dancing he might actually cry

He’ll deny it constantly every day until he dies

If you make things traditionally he hangs them on the wall Everywhere

You might run out of room

By which i mean you will run out of room as soon as possible

Will never tell you a drawing is bad ever unless it’s like Really Bad which it never will be in his eyes

He loves anything and everything you do u are so precious

You have a permanent support system within the man

Google

Used to see art as pointless

Then comprehended the chemical release it causes in the brain and thought that was fine

Then saw you get really mad with something you were working on and got confused again?

If art no make good chemical, why art?

He still doesn’t understand, but that’s ok

You tried to get him to make something once

He just. Kinda. Made a buncha ones and zeroes

You still framed it and hung in on the wall and he got embarrassed

If he could blush, he would

If you draw him he looks like he doesn’t care but it’s at that point he decides he would die for you

Primary objective: answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective: make u happy. Tertiary objective is to destroy mankind

If you draw bing that will disappear IMMEDIATELY you have BETRAYED him

If you ask for a color palette recommendation he Always says the google colors. Always.

You might’ve thought he was going for an rgby type of thing. But then you realize.

He is in charge of your financing. He will tell you the most efficient ways to make money as an artist and you follow then

He is also in charge of making sure you FUCKING EAT A MEAL

“But isn’t an objective to destroy mankind?” shut up he’s not happy about it either

Despite his best efforts he loves you and that ain’t gonna change

Illinois

Doesn’t fully understand

He needs to be outside at all times and cannot stay in one place

And you’re like??? Required to stay still???? For prolonged amounts of time????? Disgusting. Anyway, whatcha workin’ on?

He might ask you to try and teach him

If you do try he gives up almost immediately

Sometimes you just get so into it that you forget to do basic things and he gets upset

(i.e. eating, sleeping, living, etc.)

He gets worried about you

He is a hypocrite bc he does the same

He will drag you to bed, motherfucker

Honestly he might lock your shit somewhere until you fucking take care of yourself. it’s like a hostage situation god

“Where the fuck did you put it” “I have no clue what you mean. I might know if you eat your dinner, though”

Asshole (affectionate)

Sometimes you like make faces when you try to draw a person and it’s hilarious and cute to him

He looks at your drawings the moment you walk away but acts like he doesn’t care

He cares a lot

Will support you no matter what but will also tell you without hesitation if he thinks something looks shit

Listen he’s out of line but he’s right

Eric

Loves you a lot and will support anything and everything you choose to do or make

Drawing? Awesome! Painting? Wonderful! Animation? Superb!

He often wants to buy you supplies or something but he does not know what anything is

Fuck is a chalk pencil???? What are gel pens vs normal pens?????? Watercolor????? What the fuck are you saying??????????

Will subtly drop hints that you could,,,, draw him,,,,, maybe,,,,, if u wanna 

And by subtly I mean he starts to ask and then starts crying

If you draw him he will cry again he loves u so much 

If he ever were to get a tattoo it’d be something u drew. Nothing else is as important to him at the moment

He enjoys photography and film, and likes to try and bond with you over artistic things

I mean. Some things overlap.

You could talk about a single drawing for hours and he’d listen intently the whole time

Don’t ask him for feedback, it’s always some version of “it’s perfect and I love you”

Even if he hates it

Which,,,,, he might hate it sometimes

He’s not a good reviewer. 2/10, very biased

He likes to take photos when you’re in the zone

If you tell him to delete them he will

While secretly making one his home screen

Host

Hey, he gets it

He writes, he understands the hyperfocus

Sometimes he wouldn’t move from his chair for a day because he was busy writing a script

That being said, you probably have to be the one to get him to take care of himself

Or you have to take turns

Otherwise you’re both gonna fucking die

He asks you to describe your art to him and tries to picture it.

He’ll tell you if he thinks it probably looks good or bad

You shouldn’t take it to heart because he can’t see it

He is a bastard sometimes

“Well, what do you think?” “I think it looks fantastic” “Thanks, babe” “...” “... you think you’re fucking funny, don’t you”

He asks if you can draw him sometimes

No, he won’t see it, but he’ll appreciate the sentiment if you do

He will ask for your opinion on his scripts sometimes

If you say it’s bad he gets really defensive

You work in the same room a lot of the time and forget the other is there

One of you has to preemptively order food or like set a timer so you can goddamn Survive

You’ll be fine

[neko-rogers]

But It’s Better If You Do

Trying to keep your relationship with your professor was easy enough, until you learned that someone had found out about it.

words: 7,424 tags: manipulative!peter, explicit noncon/dubcon elements, degredation, implied overstimulation, blackmailing, kidnapping, college student and professor relationship, 

a/n: whew this had a lot of words compared to what i usually write. plus, since im bad at titles, i’ll just use my fav song titles lmao. (ps. erik lehnsherr aka magneto is here and im just glad i could put him in my little fictional world bc im d biggest slut for him)

     A complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     The man in front of the class was practically pouring his heart out into the lecture. The chalkboard was filled with white letterings from left to right, not knowing where to start as you take down notes.

     “It is important to keep in mind that bimolecular structure and function are dictated by the properties of the medium in which they are dissolved,” your professor explains while continually pacing from one end to the other among the students seated at the first row.

     You decided to seat around the middle to the last row, knowing it was the least obvious way for other students in the class to notice how much you fawn over your Organic Chemistry professor rather than the subject itself.

     Honestly you could listen to him talk for hours. All those information he had been discussing would not actually process through your thoughts. You knew that better than anyone.

     But who honestly would invalidate your reason? Everyone can probably relate to hating Chemistry, no matter what subcategory it is. 

     Considering that this was probably one of the most difficult courses you had in your program. You were just thankful and lucky enough you landed on one of the hottest professors amongst the campus.

     “Hey what did Professor Lehnsherr say about the problems during synthesis of proteins?” Peter asks.

     In spite of being fortunate about everything else about this subject, you were not quite happy about Peter Parker following you around like a lost puppy. Especially during the classes you both have alike. 

     The boy constantly asks so much questions as if you were the teacher already. In addition, he seemed smart enough to figure things out yet somehow he keeps on bugging you for reassurance.

     You did not want to be rude. He has not done anything to completely deserve your rage, however he was definitely getting on your nerves.

     Honestly you would not want to be infuriated over his consistent queries, but you were just as distracted as he was, maybe even more. With this, you were looking dumber to him each day. 

     To anyones pride, it was probably a kick in the stomach. You knew you were not the brightest in this class, but it was best to leave the information to yourself. No need for anyone to point out how mindless you were.

     And you really were not. You had other Science subjects you totally excel at. Sadly, Chemistry was just not one of them.

     “Well, uh, I don’t think I got that part either.” You look aside where he was seated and awkwardly smiled at him before mentioning an apology, “Sorry, Peter.”

     In return, Peter smiled at you and dismissed the question. You were not so sure whether to forget about it or take even the least bit of offense. You felt a little mocked by how easily he did it and innocently he smiled, but maybe you were just overthinking this through.

     “It’s fine,” he tells. “I just didn’t get the third bullet, but I’ll try to review it in the textbook when I get home.”

     “Oh okay, sure.”

     “Speaking about reviewing,” Again, Peter tries to start another discourse.

     “I was wondering if you got reviewers for the upcoming text for next week? We all know how difficult Professor Lehnsherr’s exams can get, right?” He lets out a forced chuckle, assuming it could lighten the mood.

     As much as he tried to make small talks with you, almost everyday, today you really feel like you did not want to return the favor. Especially after having to bring up the test next week.

     “I don’t really make reviewers, I usually just scan the books I have at home.”

     Lies. You probably have a box full of index cards and sticky notes in your room.

     You tried to use every studying tips every corner of the Internet could give. All those study-life hacks that really did not help much but pile up to your disorganized state of mind.

     You fucking tried to study Chemistry. You really did.

     “What, you don’t?!” He suddenly exclaims, not realizing the loudness of his voice as it almost caught the attention from people at front. “You seem to be busy all the time though. It’s like I always catch your writing or reading something in class.”

     Maybe your mood was just off but it definitely seemed weird for him to say that. Though, you did not want to make something from what he said. It was not worth your time.

     “I guess people are not always what they seem to be, yeah?”

     Again, Peter gives out that soft chuckle and smile, “Then I guess so. You do make a point.”

      He does not argue with you any further.

     “Can I at least borrow your Physics book? I only bought Chemistry and Biotech for the semester. Didn’t know they would actually utilize it for once,” he scoffs. 

     At first you hesitated. You were reviewing for it too, but you already felt bad for being no help whenever he asks a question and often times disregarding him when your mood if off. Plus, you did just make it look like you were not much of a study-freak.

     “Okay.”

     He instinctively fist pumps the air and looks at you with a wide, grateful grin. “Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”

     “Don’t mention it.” You grab the book he needs from your bag and hands it to him. He accepts it and places it inside his while also clearing the rest of his things.

     Looking at his digital wristwatch wherein he raised his index finger up as if he figured something out of it, he says, “He’s going to dismiss the class in a few minutes. We should get ready for Cell Biology next period.

     Oh how you hated it. Were you jumping to conclusions? Or was this boy really trying to be too close with you? Or was he just being nice and informing you to prepare ahead?

     God, you did not give Peter Parker the right to cloud up your thoughts like this.

     “Thanks,” you say, “but I need to talk to Professor Lehnsherr after class. Have to, uh, consult him about my concept paper that he made us submit last week.”

     As he tidies his notebooks up and carelessly shoves it inside his backpack, he immediately looks back at you with a confused expression, “Oh, I can always wait for you–”

     “It’s fine, Peter. Thank you though.” Two of your hands were instinctively waving in front of you, a meek gesture for him to stop coddling you or whatever move he had been trying to make at you.

     “Are you sure? I–”

     And if you were ought to be saved further from lashing out over Peter’s incessant attempts, you finally heard the words any student was longing to hear. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all on Monday.” 

     “Eri–err, Professor Lensherr just dismissed the class. Better catch up to him before he heads out,” you hurriedly said. And with a loud slam from your notebook, you quickly shut him out. In addition, you practically shoved every thing in front of you into your bag without sparing a second glance.

     One strap of your back was slung over your shoulder as you hurriedly flew down the aisle. Professor Lehnsherr was midway into packing his things before you interrupted and approached him.

     “Professor,” you call out. “I have a question. About the paper I handed in last week.”

     “Uhuh.” He faintly furrows his eyebrows, trying to hide his already obvious bewilderment. “I forgot which assignment was that, Ms. Y/L/N.”

     There were students still exiting in class. So you tried your best to make your conversation with him less suspicious. He was most likely doing the same. 

     “It was about the Chemistry-proposal thing.” You snapped your fingers a few times as you gathered your train of thought, but realizing it was not going effectively. “Well I just wanted to confirm it since, you know, I was hoping for any feedback from you throughout this week.”

     “I’m not sure if I have read it. I’ve certainly been busy this week,” he clarifies. “Nonetheless, we can talk about it later. Thank you for bringing it up. I’ll make sure to follow it up in my schedule, Ms. Y/N.”

     Both of you made your way out the door once there were only a minuscule amount of students left in class. You probably had been looking at your professor with gushing stares, but you doubt the other people in the room could notice it. They were farther away from where both of you stood, much less would they be able to hear what the two of your were talking about.

     “Oh thank you so much, sir!” You almost cried out and jumped in joy while reaching through the threshold. Moreover, you composed yourself before mumbling out, “I’ll see you later, Eric.” 

     In which you were certain no one would have heard it besides him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     “I’m sure you’ll get a good grade in the exams, Y/N,” Eric leans back to his seat with a humble smile upon his face. 

     “Really? I doubt so, there’s a kid in your class that keeps bugging me out to a study date, or whatever you call it,” you sneer. You lick your lips as you finish taking a sip around the wine glass, setting it down and looking back at the man you were having dinner with. “It’s getting very annoying though, he surely knows how to get on my nerves.”

     “I’m sure he’s just trying to flirt with you, like any other college boys do.” He optimistically and maturely lays out the options. “It’s pretty normal for anyone to chase someone they are fond of, especially for young adults like you.”

     It was a pretty obvious sign that he was trying to let his message reach you. 

     “Well, I apologize for my standards of men,” you say. “I just want to skip the whole heartbreak in college and character development. All that stuff you usually see in a typical teen romance movie.”

     You sigh, looking down and saying, “I already found a man for me. Why would I stoop down for some guy who’s most likely wanting something from me, and dumping me once he got what he wanted.”

     “Y/N, I don’t blame you for liking men that’s ten years older than you,” Eric assures. “But I want you to realize that you still have a lot to look forward after graduating

     “And I look forward for you too!” You tried to not raise your voice, though having dinner in his house wouldn’t really catch anyones attention. “I can’t wait to finally graduate from second semester and be able to spend more time, publicly, with you.”

     “Yes, I understand, honey.” He places his hand over yours as he tries to calm you down. “Like I said, I just want you to make sure that you’ve clearly thought this through.”

      Eric adds, “There’s plenty of men out there. I don’t want to take away your opportunity of experiencing something new at such a young age.”

     “I’m turning twenty-four! I promise you I’m thinking everything through.” Your voice was much weaker than a few seconds ago. The evident tone of strength fades even with one glance from the man in front of you. You felt yourself shrink in your seat. But you were sure he does not intend to frighten you into compliance.

     “Sorry,” you pout. “Didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

     “I understand, and I won’t pressure you any more tonight, okay?” He tries to uplift your mood, detecting quickly the shift of the room’s atmosphere. “You deserve a good dinner tonight, like I promised, sweetie.”

     His smile made you calmer. It was then that you realized why you were attracted to a man like him even if he was still your teacher.

     The way he handles you in any given situation so sensibly. Though it may feels intimidating at first, he consequently tries to override the tone of the conversation which cheers you up.

     With one hand, he hold yours and gently draws it towards him at the same moment he leans his head down. Eric presses a kiss against the back of your hand and you butterflies immediately fill inside your stomach. “I love you.”

     “I love you too.” Every doubt you had entirely disappeared now. If there were hints of you hesitating to continue seeing Eric, they were certainly long gone now.

     “Let me drive you home after dinner,” he offers, like the gentleman he is.

     Eric always does make sure you get home safe. However, you both agreed that he drops you off at least a block away from your house. Just in case people around your neighborhood might catch you, or worse your parents.

     It was not like you were ashamed of your relationship with Eric. Cautious was the term.

     You were only a few months in seeing him. Fair enough, he was your second semester professor and the both of you met before that period.

     You were not only risking the wrath of your parents once they hear you’re dating an older man, let alone your Chemistry teacher. But you were also putting him at risk if ever his faculty finds out.

     Eventually, the two of you pack up and end your conversation. Other than talking about college, the two of you also talk more about yourselves which has progressed you into learning more about each other’s personalities and likes.

     He helps you out of his house and into the passenger seat of his car. It had been more than thrice wherein he drove you home, and the familiar scent of leather and the typical Glad air fresheners has clung onto your nose. You strap on your seatbelt on just as he was getting inside the driver’s side.

     The ride was not entirely dead silent. Eric made a few more small talks before finally turning a right which was where he usually drops you off. It amazes you how instantly he remembered the way to your home, as you instructed him the first time.

     “Thank you for tonight, like always, Eric.” 

     As always, you made your way out of his car prior to giving him a kiss. You only had to walk straight ahead, glancing at your home which had one dim light illuminating through one window.

     Upon entering the house, you figured your parents were already asleep and a hint of the living room lamp was present. Taking the benefit of not having to be interrogated by anyone, you rushed upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the lights, and immediately closed the door behind you with a sigh of relief. A smile was also visible after recalling your night with Eric.

     As you made your way towards your bed, a piece of paper lays obvious in the middle of it. Your sheets were flattened and tidied, so you could obviously detect when something is placed on top of it. You have no memory of leaving it early in the morning before you left too.

     When picking the paper up, you realized it was a piece of polaroid film. Its back was facing you, having no idea what to expect at the front.

     At that point, the smile from your face turned into horror and all the color in you basically drained away.

     The picture displayed you and Eric at one dinner night out from a few days ago, you still remember. It could have been anything but malicious, but the way his hand was intertwined with yours as both of you laugh away without worries. It was clear as day, the light shining perfectly at the both of you. Anyone can conclude what was happening in the picture.

     You did not know this day would come. The picture was taken from Eric’s home to prevent such things like this from happening. So it puzzled you just as much at it terrified you.

     This was definitely someone who had been stalking either one of you. It was not a mere instance like paparazzis who catch celebrities dating on the streets of New York.

     Someone definitely have been observing the two of you.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     Days have passed, a week almost. Examinations are scheduled for tomorrow. 

     And you prayed that the picture you received would be the only thing terrorizing your dreams. But you were completely wrong.

     From thereon, you started to receive more pictures, specifically one every morning and night, from your past hangouts with Eric. It were simple shots but had the power to completely jeopardize either one of you, mostly him at stake though.

     It was obvious that the person behind this was definitely observing the two of you for a while. Probably even during the most earliest weeks when your relationship with him started.

     Though it may seem unfair, you did not mention anything about it to Eric. It was enough the he was keeping with you, his job, and himself private – which clearly was not working out so well. You felt like it was your responsibility to handle this situation. You were so sure you did not try to publicize anything and kept it on the low.

      Nevertheless, it was out there. Eric had not mentioned anything so you assumed he did not receive a picture like you did.

     Currently, you were seated at the farthest row at the back of the room, somewhat near the corner. Physics was your last subject and you could not wait but finally leave.

     In addition, you texted Eric that you would not be seeing him until after the exams. It was an easy excuse not to see him, saying that you wanted to focus on studying for it; however, you knew that you would just be busy thinking about the creepy stalker gallery you have been receiving.

     “Hey.” Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice whispers next to you which disrupts your heavy train of thoughts. “You finished studying for tomorrow? I’m about to end my review with Chemistry later.”

     “Cool.” Probably the one of the most basic replies in the universe. “I haven’t finished studying, I’m kind of dealing with a lot of things recently.”

     You made sure to generalize your answer, but enough for him to sympathize and at least give you some space.

     “Oh, sorry to hear about that.” Peter frowns. He takes his seat a few desks away from your left, leaving you to continue thinking. You were thankful for his gesture too.

     Surprisingly enough the boy barely bothered you for the entire lecture. You were still engrossed on finding out whoever was stalking you, even so dating back to boys you evidently rejected during the first semester – who badmouthed you immediately afterwards. There were not a lot of names, so it was easy to remember who was who.

     You traced back to each boy and remembered what they said after you told them you were not ready to enter a relationship – a complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     Just as you expected from any of them, rumors have spread out about you which was mostly shaming you physically or mentally. Some were milder insults than the other yet at the end of the day you did not care.

     “Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. “Who was that boy at Liz’s party.”

     Your eyes were sealed shut, recalling a list of names while using your thumb and middle finger to massage your temples. It was getting frustrating and mentally exhausting.

     After some time, you had so much word filling in and our of your brain that you were not aware that your own name was being called. Your heart practically skipped a beat after hearing it the first time, assuming that you were being called to recite an answer. But you became content after seeing that it was just Peter, who started tapping your arm to get your attention.

     “Huh?” You lightly shake your head before turning your head aside.

     “Oh, class was dismissed a few minutes earlier than usual–”

     “Don’t forget to answer the assignment regarding thermodynamic concepts found it the book. You’ll hand it in immediately on Wednesday.” The professor addresses the class as they were already carrying their bags and themselves out the room.

     You start placing your stationeries inside yours, packing your other things up until it was only a pair of earphones and your phone left in front. Peter stood near the aisle while looking at you just as you were zipping your bag shut.

     “Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he states out of nowhere causing you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “I forgot I still haven’t returned your Physics book I borrowed last week.”

     Nodding your head and standing up, you shrug it off. “It’s fine. You can return it tomorrow.”

     “Sure, but how will you do your Physics assignment?”

     Oh yeah. Your professor literally reminded the class a few seconds ago.

     “I think I might be able to do it overnight. How many pages is the task?”

     “Eight, or nine I think.” He frowns looking very guilty at you.

     “Shit,” you swore. That was a lot of pages than the usual assignments given.

     “Yeah, professor said it could help add points if you somehow get a bad grade at the tests.”

     “Never mind,” you tried to set his mistake aside. “I’ll try to do it within overnight tomorrow. I can ask for help from my friend tomorrow morning and–”

     “Wait! I realized you can stop by my apartment to get it.”

     “Oh–er, Peter, I don’t think I have time to–

     “It’s just nearby the campus, I promise,” he assures and adds, “it wouldn’t be a hassle, it’s probably on your way home anyway so it won’t make a difference.”

     “Uhm.” You were doubtful of him. 

     However, you did realize that you did not have anything to do after class. You were keeping distance with Eric for the meantime which meant that your schedule was mostly vacant after this.

     “Please,” he begs, “I feel so bad for keeping it the whole week. I swear it’s like a few blocks from here.”

     “Would it take more than twenty minutes?” You purse your lips, convincing yourself that you would rather force yourself to study at home than spend it at someone’s apartment.

     “I only take around ten minutes to walk so,” he answers. “Unless you’re a slow walker, of course.” The tone of his voice seeming to be joking.

     Again, he pleads. This kid will not fucking budge.

     “Fine,” you blurt out. Though, you realized your sudden-almost lash out moment at the boy that you made sure to reiterate it but slower, “I mean, sure. I can stop by your apartment to pick up my book.”

     An awaited smile and sense of agreement washes over you.

     Peter then leads the way as you walked behind him, maintaining a short distance so people would not throw out any suspicious looks. Like in every college, everyone knows just how fast gossips formulate and rumors spread.

     If you think about it though, it might avert anyone’s suspicion – mainly pertaining to your creepy stalker – with you and your Professor. But you were not prepared for that yet, maybe some time when you can finally think about its consequences through.

     True to his word, as the both of you exited the campus, it took a short time before the boy in front of you told that you were about to enter through the entrance to the building of his apartment. You were not so sure if it was really a momentary walk or because you were so focused on thinking and keeping a distance.

     At some points he did often look back in case you got lost from following him. Plus, like always, he asked you simple questions either about your day or your subjects to make small talk. In which case, you were barely answering him but definitely progressed compared to when he attempted for previous times during class.

     In addition, as the two of you walked down the block, the number of faces you could only assume was in college decreased. Meaning that the glares at you eased up.

     “Well, here’s my location.” A loud huff follows as he uses a key to unlock the door for the entrance to the building, “It wasn’t that far, was it?”

     “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that far.” You agree as he holds the door for you and then walks right after you.

     As Peter leads you upstairs onto around the fourth level, he proceeds to walk along the corridors. The array of same beige colored doors with small golden indents of unit numbers paraded along it too. Eventually he stops and inserts a key into the lock, twisting it until hearing the unlocking sound.

     For a moment you hesitated to follow him. You just wanted your book and you were sure he can give it to you on a shorter span than your walk from campus to here. Was it that troublesome?

     Entering his complex, you discovered how minimalistic it looked. To be fair it seemed quite small, the living room instantly greeting you through the entrance and a kitchenette at the side. But since his things were tidied up, it looked roomy.

     You instinctively close the door behind you, slightly aware that it did not create a locking sound. Following Peter, you took a few more steps until you stood still at the passageway between his living room and entryway.

     “Do you want a drink?” Peter asks.

     “No thank you.” You were still trying to subtle. “I just want my Physics book, Peter. Please?”

     He looked at you and paused for a split second. You could feel the frown behind the expressionless look. “Yeah. Okay. Sure,” he nods for a few times before turning around and proceeding to a seemingly narrow hallway. “I’ll get it in my room. Be back in a second.”

     Your feet faintly paced back and forth, still where you stood a few meters between the entrance and living room. After a few more minutes, Peter emerges carrying the familiar book with one hand.

     He approaches you within a few stops but stops in his tracks, leaving a distance from you. “Well uh,” he starts as his chin was tucked.

     “I just want to tell you something before I hand you back your book.” He looks up at you with really pleading eyes. During other instances in university, you were definitely familiar with that look. However, this one probably ranked as one of the most downhearted ones. 

     You did not want to feel regretful for him. Though it definitely feels like you just kicked a puppy.

     “Was is it?”

     “I love you,” he blurts out as his face goes back from hiding and looking down.

     It seemed awkward. You were somewhat expecting it, but you were also hoping that this day would not come – or not at least until you graduate and leave the university.

     “Oh.” You honestly did not want to react.

     Were you going to say sorry? How about thank you? Would it be better if you said you did not like him back? Or will the best response be that you are already taken?

     “Peter, I–”

     “Are you really dating Eric?” He shots up with eyes appearing almost teary.

     What. The. Fuck.

     “No,” you mutter. It was not much of an answer to his question. It was more on being quite horrified as your mind started jumping to conclusions.

     The amount of things running around your mind right now was immeasurable.

     Firstly, anyone could make two and two out of what he said, especially knowing that no one knows it even so around your circle of friends.

     Secondly, you should have thought better. Your doubts with Peter should have been grater and you totally underestimated him. However, some part of you prayed that he was just an annoyingly awkward nerd who follows his friends regarding flirting tips.

     Lastly, you turned around and ran.

     You probably got your way with opening the door and taking two steps out. It was not long before you felt arms wrap around your waist and either side of your arms. You were then lifted and pulled behind while you tried to kick at the air as an escape. Did not work though.

     Peter was surprisingly stronger than you thought. He already seemed fairly muscular at class, hiding behind those long sleeved sweaters and flannels.

     Eventually the last thing you remember was the image of the door of his apartment open while you get sucked into the room further. Everything went black afterwards.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     When you felt that you were slowly restoring to consciousness, you were aware of the pounding at the back of your head and your arms.

     You tried to move your hands, wanting to press against the parts of your body that were aching. But you felt incapacitated as your wriggled your wrists around and felt an unfamiliar sticky fluid enveloping around them.

     “Glad you’re awake,” a voice says. “Does your head hurt?”

     You tried to open your eyes, the dark lighting of the room not cooperating with your vision. A light from the window and a lamp were the only things that helped you form something out of the void. 

     From there you saw Peter Parker sitting closely beside you at the edge of the bed.

     Hell please let this be a nightmare.

     “What–” You groan, “What do you want from me.”

     Your mind was building up your anger yet your body says otherwise. You felt exhausted and heavy.

     Peter shushed you in a caring manner, “We’ll talk when you feel better. I’ll let you get more rest okay, sweetie?”

     “Uhh.”

     That was what you could remember the most. If you have awoken for other times in between your sleep, then you surely did not have an idea of it.

     When you finally woke up, the level of your grogginess felt little to none already. You looked around and saw that the room was still dark and seemingly still nighttime.

     As your head was twisting from side to side, you saw Peter appear from the doorway carrying a translucent cup filled with water in one hand. “Hey, you’re finally awake.”

     Instead of replying to him, your wrists writhe beneath the fluid that you are still not familiar of. You could not really look up to get a good view of what it was, but it was wet, sticky, and felt like super glue.

     On the other hand, both your legs, ankles, and feet were free. The back of your thighs bounced against the bed as you struggled, but it would not do much since your arms were practically stuck.

     “Fuck,” you grumble.

     “That won’t help. You’re pretty much stuck there,” he says, Then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, alike where you remembered him positioned from earlier, “Might as well talk to me until I let you go.”

     “Okay then, when will you let me go?” Your voice was calm hoping you could talk your way out of this mess. 

     “If you behave for me like a good girl, okay?”

     Shivers went up your spine as you cringed at his statement.

     Immediately, your mood shifts from calm to furious after hearing his disturbing bargain. Then purposely rolling your eyes for him to see. “How the hell will I behave if you’re a creepy stalker! You disgust me!”

     Peter hums, displaying a look wherein he seems like he was thinking. You were not sure if it was sarcastic or not, either way it annoyed the hell out of you. “Creepy stalker sounds overstated, it was more on being curious.”

     You scoff as well as exclaim, “You sent me photographs of me and Eric at his house! Fucking hell, Peter.”

     “Oh yeah that part.” He slyly pouts his lips to the side as he comes to realize what he had done, “I guess it was a bit creepy–”      “What do you mean a bit? That was invasion of privacy!”

     Despite being trapped, both your hands balled into a fist, feeling very furious at his dense answers. “I was living my own life! I kept my relationships to myself,” you cry out.

     “Yes, but you weren’t completely living your life,” he whispers while gently combing his hair through the front of your hair. “You deserve much more than someone who couldn’t proudly tell that you’re his girl. Is he even a man? Do you really enjoy that kind of life, sweetie?”

     “We were happy,” you weep. The evident crack on your voice was a signal that you were about to cry though you were not sure if it was because you were held hostage or because you were worried for Eric.

     No one would understand your situation with him right now. Especially Peter.

     “Trust me you weren’t,” he scoffs. “You deserve so much more, and I can give you that.”

     “I’d rather be alone forever than be with you, asshole!” Your voice was inconsistent, clearly affected by how fast Peter’s mood also shifts quickly.

     You also figured you were not looking entirely fresh while crumbling beneath him. Drops of tears and sweat were all over your face and neck, both your eyelids felt swollen, and your nose was almost stuffed.

     Peter stand from the edge of the bed and advances to his desk from the side. A harsh bang echoed throughout the room as your body twitched out of shock.

     “What does that dick have that I don’t?!” He grits his teeth as the curves of his jaw intensifies. A displeased look was written all over his face. 

     “P-please let me go.”

     “I need you to answer, sweetie. We going nowhere unless you answer!” He was never going to let you go if you were not going to cooperate. 

     Every step he takes closer back to the bed just increases your heart beat further. He had rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to the edge of his elbows and you felt threatened looking at how firm his arms looked.

     “Peter, p-please,” you hiccup.

     As Peter returns to the edge of the bed, he does not hesitate anymore to keep a distance. His hands hover to either sides over your body and sets the left side of his head on your midriff, laying while also getting a good view of your vulnerable state.

     He does not even look life he was struggling to make an effort to keep you down, but you could feel how heavy he was and was barely giving you a chance to move around.

     “I can give you so much more, Y/N.” The way his gaze directs at you was definitely one of the creepiest things you have experienced. He had so much emotions yet completely lacked sympathy for your state of mind.

     Shutting your eyes, you only cried further. You felt a hand cup one of your cheeks as its thumb wipes away the pouring tears. Like a broken record, you only pleaded more, “Please let me go.”

     “I can’t.”

     “Why.” You bawled, realizing he has no plans of releasing you anytime soon despite it. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I p-promise.”

     “I know that,” he says, “but you’re going to run back to Eric, probably tell him too, right?”

     You did not want to answer, merely shaking your head as you resisted a cry from your lips. It was somewhat what you had planned, but now you were just scared shitless.

     “You won’t tell anyone but him cause no one knows about it other than you two, right?” He corners your words. 

     “Eric would lose his job if someone, especially your parents find out, right?” Hell he was correct. He most likely had been stalking you for so long to find out about it.

“You love him so much, you wouldn’t want to hinde

     It was terrifying that someone had been learning about you and your life for a while without your awareness.

     “Please stop. What do you want... money?” you whimper. 

     Peter did not seem likes normal college boy; he does not think like one, too, for sure. Anyone with a right mind would not do something like what he did. No one would have the guts to do so.

     “I just want you, Y/N. I want to give you what you deserve,” Peter answers as he sits up and leans his face closer to yours. His mouth leaves a small gap from your right ear as he whispers, “Let me make you feel good.”

     “No–”

     He cuts off your plea with a proposition, “If you let me, I might consider letting you free.”

     “You want that, right? Want me to let you go...” His hand combs through the other side of your face, “just let me show you that I can do way better than him.”

     Every ounce of your blood was trying not to give in. You were smart, you ought to find a way out of this. However, you realized that it will not be enough. You already struggled so much from the super glue around your wrists and you could not imagine how much more would it take now that Peter was on top of you.

     Eventually you stopped struggling and let him be. There was no way out of this than to let him do what he pleases.

     You feel his lips press against your ear first and then progresses over your cheek. His grip around your arms loosen after detecting that you stopped struggling beneath him. You could feel him smile on your skin, “That’s it, relax for me. Good girl.”

     His hand reaches to undo your pants as his lips drifted on yours to force their way on making out with you. Another hand then presses under your jaw and throat. “P-Peter,” you choke, feeling lightheaded after being unable to breath properly though your mouth until the grip had loosen.

     “Sorry, babe.”

     He soon descends from your face to your neck and collar region. You were so sure he was leaving marks on you as you felt him suck and nibble against your  skin. Like a controlling asshole he was, you expect to see bruises on your skin by tomorrow.

     Despite having your hands fastened, he still moves your shirt upwards past your head. It halts and hands loosely around your arms as you emerge topless beneath the boy.

     “Fucking beautiful,” Peter compliments your body under his breath.

     Although he seemed to have time on his hands, he does not leave a second wasted. He also goes to haul your pants past your legs and ankles. The growing look of impatience on his face says it all.

     Peter moves from your side and welcomes himself between your legs. He spreads them out to have enough space for his body and you could not feel more embarrassed than this.

     You grit your teeth over each other as you felt him press fingers against your cunt. Instinctively, you clench around nothing as he continues to play with your entrance, making sure you get entirely soaked under his touch.

     “You know you shouldn’t hold back. I know you’re loving it so far, your body says otherwise,” he teases before laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to your pussy.

     Without a warning, he licks a strip of you making the back of your thighs quake lightly. Peter senses your reaction and continues to do so, using his tongue to play around and poke inside of you until you were slowly giving in without even realizing it.

     Just as you thought you were getting used to his actions, he then inserts fingers inside you, feeling your warmth around it as he pushes it in and out.

     “Oh,” you moan.

     He continues, making sure he also does not leave your bud of nerves behind. The tip of his fingers and tongue alternate on playing against it, making you throw back your head out of pleasure.

     “I bet he doesn’t please you like this,” he scoffs.

     Eventually, at your vulnerable state, you could already feel yourself closing to an orgasm. Your toes curled as your temples throbbed, sealing your eyes shut as you accepted on giving in.

     You bit onto your lower lip, trying to resist a moan. Somewhere inside you, you were still trying to fight back and not let Peter have the satisfaction he had been craving.

     “You’re being so tight... Just let it out.” He coaxes and you hate how you did what he told you so.

     The extensive grin on his face seemed priceless. He pulled back and you were aware that you seemed exhausted beneath him. You assumed he was done with whatever he wanted to do with you.

     But when he started to take off his sweater and unbutton his pants, you realized it was far from over.

     As he presents himself just as naked in front of you, he again welcomes himself between your legs. This time you get a better view of him and his muscles and abs. He gets a good view of your body too for sure as his hand reaches to start stroking his dick.

     He places one hand on your thigh and pushes it farther to give him more room. Finally, he inserts in inside you and you automatically felt him throbbing between.

     There was a growing heat between the both of you, and it only intensified as Peter started to thrust his hips forward and backwards. There was not even a rhythm from him as he moves harder after hearing you softly moan underneath.

     The slapping sound echoes through the room that would eventually reek of sex and you felt ashamed that your body was enjoying all of this.

     “Ah… ah… ahh… agh….”

     “You’re starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” He brags as one hand was reaching for your breasts while the other holds your thigh up. “Fucking slut.”

     Your body and mind were tired and could only hold so much longer. It was not a surprise when your stomach started to churn your the muscles in your thighs were cramping up.

     Peter did no help after seeing you starting to wear out. He tried leaning in to make out with you and expect to moan into his mouth. You did for a moment, a combination of both your drools were streaming down from the corner of your mouth.

     “We’re making a mess, huh,” he mumbles. “But I know you’re already a dirty fucking girl.”

     He proceeds to deprave you with statements, “Can’t believe you’re enjoying my cock better than that old man’s... Such a fucking whore.”

     You twist your head aside, trying to hide the fact that you feel like your temperature were burning up. You were so sure he could feel the increasing warmth of your walls either way.

     Your eyes were rolling back as you resist arching your back, which was not really a success as the amount of pleasure was overwhelming.

     As you writhe beneath him, you felt a hand on your cheek. It pushes your head back onto looking at front and at Peter. “I want you t look at me when you’re going to cum, sweetie,” he orders and you could not do much anyways.

     The second time you came was a whole other level. You never felt this with any person you slept with so far, rather not this fast and intense to say. “That’s it, fuck, you’re tighter than I could ever imagine.”

     Peter continues until it was his time to cum. The bed continues to move along with his pace and your body was basically abused to his liking.

     And even if you were not aware of it, the boy was practically thankful that his agency decided to agree to soundproofing his whole apartment – his motive being for personal reasons, which they did not question any time soon.

     You were helpless, you knew that. All you had in mind now was rest. Your eyelids were heavy and your mind was drifting to slumber.

     The last thing you remember was Peter moving over your body to come all around your chest like a painter with its paint brush creating a masterpiece from your chest to your core.

     “I love you.”

a/n: ily pls leave comments <3