#but I saved the chicken!

[astranite]

Funny story: today I rescued a chicken.

This got kinda long but it is fairly funny and has a happy ending. Also there is Thunder and Birds involved, but not in the usual way. And I have no one to give the blow-by-blow account of the saga to, and I Need to Tell Story. So dear friends, *drags you to sit around my figurative fireplace* enjoy my tale!

(Minor warning of reference to past animal death.)

Because the universe really does have a sense of humour, this all started when I was sitting outside, because it was a nice sunny day, while reading @gaviiadastra's 'Chicken Dad' series. (its great, Im only 5 chapters in, go read it!)

And then I hear loud chicken clucking noises. Which I am understandably very surprised to hear. There is some *looks at laptop* *looks up again* "What the fuck???"

So I go out to investigate. I find a chicken. A very cute, fairly large black hen with the slightest green sheen to her feathers. In all likelihood a Black Australorp.

Outside my yard, just chilling. And still bok-bok-boking loudly.

And I'm like, "huh." And wow, that was not just my imagination.

Now backstory time: My family used to keep chickens, a small flock of them living happily in our yard. I loved them very much, and I kinda still miss them even though it was years ago now. They also had ridiculous triple-barrel names.

Tragic backstory time: One of our chickens got eaten by a fox. (it was extremely upsetting, the chicken was our friend.)

There are also a whole bunch of outdoor cats around the neighbourhood, and a highway nearby, and generally a lot of dangers to escapee chickens. So I'm understandably pretty worried about this chook, because its also lateish afternoon and will get dark. And just leaving it there really doesn't fly with me.

Time for the rescue plan: I'm going to catch that chicken, then figure out where it lives and return it. Because I vaguely remembered some neighbours keeping chickens, and a door knock around should point me in the right direction. (Or if not, I get to keep chickens again, y'know, if it still needs a good home.)

I put shoes on, because stomping around in my slippers is likely ill advised, grab a crust of bread because it the best chicken attracting thing i can quickly find, and yell to a family member where i'm going, getting the underwhelming response of, "Uh huh, sure."

Plan A: Lure chicken close to me with bread and catch it once it is in arms reach.

There is some throwing of pieces of bread, me making inviting clucking noises (actually one of my talents, I have fooled people with it before,) me staying very still, the chicken slowly coming closer.

Eventually the chicken is pecking the bread piece from my hand. I take my moment. My fingertips brush feathers. The chicken runs off. Note to self: chickens are fast and I'm very out of practice at chicken nabbing.

Takes two through like eight or something: Lure chicken in, gain its trust, wait until it gets really close, then catch it.

And nope. The chicken is having None Of That. It still gets a fair bit of bread bits, thrown out around me. And its having a merry old time, wandering around, pecking at grass, and being adorable. (I really like chooks, they're cute.)

By this point my butt's gone numb and my shitty knees are Complaining. And I've been at this more than half an hour, like seriously, this chicken has mastered the art of 'close enough for snacks, but not close enough to get got.'

And I am Very Patient (in some circumstances, such as these, though not all), but I can also hear thunder as a storm is coming in. And this clearly isn't working. And the chicken is wandering away. And I'm at least ten times its size and supposedly the cleverer one here.

So onto Plan B: Get me close to the chicken. Catch the darned chicken.

I get up, shove the bit of bread in my pocket, stretch, then calmly walk after the chicken. Because panicky chicken could definitely out-sprint me. And we're gonna avoid that. I'm also hoping the whole 'persistence predator' thing pays off.

Additional context notes: I live right next to a park. Sort of. There's several metres of rocky cliff between the row of houses and the park. And a narrow strip of land between said cliff and houses. Which is where me and the chicken are, of course.

So there is the additional difficulty of 1) dont chase chicken off cliff (the chicken would be fine, its only couple of metres high and it has unclipped wings. Also would be new problem of chicken running loose in big park.) 2) dont fall off cliff because i dont want to explain it to family/curious strangers/paramedics that this was all because of a chicken.

There is a lot of very careful manoeuvring. Some tactical retreats because that chicken really likes that cliff edge. An amount of bush bashing. Some strategic climbing of slopey parts where it's not so cliff steep. I run into sticks and tree branches and spiderwebs. I Follow That Chicken.

There is a stand off. A rout. I direct the chicken towards the houses and manage to corner it with a fence. And then I've got an armful of somewhat flappy chicken until I get the wings under control. Then I've just got a chicken. A very sweet chicken who is now pretty chill with being held.

Return of the Chicken: It's the first house I go to. I ring the bell, no one answers. I wander round the side a bit thinking maybe I ended up at the back door with all the chicken chasing. A dog spots me in the window and starts barking. So I stand there to wait for that to get someone's attention because I'm 90% sure its the right house.

Person appears in window. Me: *waves* *points at chicken*

Epilogue: It was confirmed that the chicken belonged there. The person was very grateful for the return of their chicken. And wasn't too put out by a rando showing up at the door with a chicken in their arms. Me in my red chequered flannel and possibly covered in leaves. The chicken did not have a name, I asked. I suggested Jailbreak as a suitable one.

I gave the chicken one last pat then handed her over (somewhat reluctantly. She was a very soft, fluffy, lovely chook) (and I named her.) (I really miss having chickens, if you can't tell that already.)

I went home and after a while it stormed, seriously like right on top of us with no break between thunder and lightning. Very glad I got the chicken before that. And got inside. I also won't tell you how long it took to find the bread still in my pocket but I'm very glad it didn't go through the wash. Now I blogged on tumblr about it.

And so the chicken rescue saga comes to an end, with all parties safe and dry and no one even fell off a cliff. Also I got to hold a chicken and that was a major win for my day!

*THE END*

[fuumiku]

It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.

Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3

This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!

Read from left to right

[utopiastri]

Hi, hello!!!

May i request sleep deprivation for the fic prompt, pretty please???? To be honest I'd be so happy with any ship (bc im obsessed with ur writing), but mayhaps landoscar or maxcar???🥺🥺🥺

Hope you are having a wonderful day!<3

-💫

💫 anon!!! hi lovely! thank you for the prompt! i hope you're having a lovely day too and i hope you enjoy some maxcar!!!

Of all the people that Oscar expected to bump into whilst walking around Monaco at 5am, he wouldn’t have bet on Max Verstappen.

Or, well, he wouldn’t have bet a lot on Max Verstappen – Monaco’s tiny and Max does live here, so it’s not entirely unreasonable to run into him. But still.

5am.

“Oscar! Mate, hi!”

Oscar does his best not to wince at how cheery Max is. From the way Max’s face falls slightly, he’s guessing he doesn’t do a particularly good job of it.

“Hey, Max,” he says quietly, giving him a tired smile.

“What are you doing up so early? I wouldn't have guessed you were a morning person.”

“Just, um, going for a walk, I guess.”

Max frowns. “Hm.”

He doesn’t elaborate any further. Oscar prays that the street lighting is dim enough for the dark circles under his eyes to stay hidden.

Eventually, when it becomes clear that Max isn’t going to say anything else, Oscar says, “Right, uh, I’ll see you.”

Oscar’s barely even turned around to start walking in the opposite direction when Max calls out, “Wait! What are you doing after your walk?”

Living the Monaco high life, Oscar thinks to himself, going back to bed and tossing and turning for another six fruitless hours.

“Nothing much,” is what Oscar actually says. In fairness, it isn’t exactly a lie.

“I was just finishing up my run. You should come back to mine for some breakfast,” Max suggests.

Oscar gives Max an assessing look and notes that he looks more like a person about to go for a run than one just finishing one up. Max folds his arms and raises an eyebrow, as if daring Oscar to call his bluff.

On another day, maybe Oscar would. But he feels so tired his bones are heavy with it and giving in is the much easier thing to do.

“Yeah, ok.”

-

Oscar doesn’t realise that the breakfast invite is a trap until he’s blearily blinking his eyes open a few hours later. Or, maybe ‘trap’ is the wrong word. ‘Trap’ implies that there was some trickery or persuasion involved. Max didn’t exactly have to do much convincing to get Oscar to take a seat on his sofa. And Max certainly didn’t have to do much convincing to get Oscar to let his eyes flutter shut, since they were very much doing that of their own accord.

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Max calls from the kitchen. Oscar slowly begins to register where is. He bolts upright when he realises that he managed to fall asleep on Max’s sofa when the poor man had only invited him in for a pastry and some coffee.

“Shit, Max, I’m so sorry,” he says, trying to stand up from the sofa and only managing to almost fall flat on his face, his legs getting twisted in a knitted blanket Max must’ve thrown over him. His face flares bright red and he refuses to look in Max’s direction.

Unfortunately, Max has other plans. He feels Max’s gaze burn into the side of his face until finally Oscar looks up and meets Max’s eyes. He’s smirking ever so slightly.

“No apologising. You needed sleep and, for whatever reason, you cannot get it at home. So you slept on my sofa.” Max says it so matter-of-factly that Oscar almost finds himself nodding along.

“No, wait,” Oscar shakes himself and reminds himself that this is ridiculous, “Max, it wasn’t fair, or, I mean, it was rude of me to fall asleep on your sofa.”

“No, it wasn’t, I didn’t mind.”

Oscar groans slightly. “Well, maybe, you should mind.”

A calculating look appears on Max's face. “To clarify," he says, "You object to the part where you fell asleep on my sofa?”

“Yes,” Oscar says firmly.

“Fine. I agree you should not fall asleep on my sofa.”

“Good.”

“You should fall asleep on my bed.”

“What?” Oscar splutters staring at Max, “Hang on.”

However, Max is too busy grabbing Oscar by the arm and frogmarching him through his flat to take heed of Oscar's request for him to hang on. Oscar’s so bewildered by this turn of events he doesn’t even fight the manhandling that much. Before he knows it, he finds himself sat down on Max’s giant bed, staring up at him.

Max is smirking again.

“There, problem solved. You can’t fall asleep on the sofa if you’re asleep in my bed.”

“Max,” Oscar starts.

Max raises an eyebrow ready to counter whatever Oscar’s next argument will be. Oscar sighs.

He knows when he’s beaten. Max smile grows even wider.

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me." He turns to leave but Oscar, almost without thinking, grabs his hand before he can.

His skin starts tingling where it's touching Max's and he does his best to ignore it. Oscar swallows. “Stay?” he asks, voice nothing more than a whisper.

Oscar thinks he might have found the one thing to say that would catch Max off-guard, even if that wasn’t his intention. His expression doesn’t shift, but Oscar can just about make out two dots of pink high in Max’s cheeks.

“Are you sure?”

“Stay,” Oscar repeats, less of a request and more of a command.

Max takes a second but eventually nods and crawls into the other side of the bed. Oscar carefully arranges his body so it's not touching Max's at all and then has to do his best not to react when he feels Max reach out and gently interlock their fingers. “Sleep,” he whispers.

Oscar convinces himself the kiss he feels pressed to his forehead is purely induced by sleep deprivation.

[makenna-made-this]

BAWKtober Day 3 - Cider Press

Can't wait for a sippy sippy~

If you'd like to support my BAWKtobering by buying a commission or a treat for my spoiled, spoiled chickens, all my links are in my pinned- *i am immediately mobbed by a flock of chickens and dragged off stage in a cloud of feathers*

[tumblerislovetumblerislife]

historical queer payneland because why not (ref)

[thereweredragonshere]

Dragon with a metal as fuck (literally) prosthetic wing!!

More Prosper content :D I feel an indescribable amount of love for this dragon. And the cool ass wing designs I can give her.

Even though the entire concept of this prosthetic functioning is quite literally impossible, I still put some actual thought into the design’s fictional functionality (hey that was alliteration).

The wing is piloted with a rod that is connected to her remaining organic wing that synchronises the movements (think Toothless’ automatic tailfin). The fingers of the wing are connected together at the top and don’t all independently move, it’s based on a rig that is controlled by the very outer finger. If that one is half folded in the other 5 fingers will correspond with that, if it is fully extended the other five will correspond with that etc etc. The fact that her wings have to by synchronised is by no means easy to operate. She cannot do most basic manoeuvres in the air, even turning to the left/right whilst in flight is extremely dependant on her secondary hip wings and her tail fins. It is nowhere near having a real, attached to her body wing, but it still gives her the ability to fly again. And long distance flying is still a pain in the ass because the massive scars all along the right side of her body get irritated after a while.

A lot of the thought behind the design came from how odd it felt that httyd 3 just… got rid of Toothless’ disability? Like yeah he was still missing a tail fin but it might as well just have grown back. He has a new, fully functional, doesn’t need to be taken off, apparently doesn’t even need maintenance, fire proof and extremely durable prosthetic that just allowed him to function as if he wasn’t disabled? In the Viking age as well?? Even in the modern day we don’t have prosthetics that can fully restore permanent, none skin irritating, doesn’t need to be fixed up ‘replacement’ limbs. Yes there are some very high quality prosthetic limbs that can restore a lot of functionality and give a very good quality of life, but it is not a new limb. It’s a prosthetic. It doesn’t change the fact that there is a missing body part. It doesn’t completely replace every single functionality of a real limb? The film just entirely disregarded that fact that Toothless had a disability. Just slap a technologically impossible bit of gear work on his tail and BOOM he’s fixed. No that’s not how that works you fucking idiot 😭 His skin would get irritated, the fin would eventually need to be repaired because again IT WAS THE MEDIEVAL ERA. I know Hiccup was smart but girl he was not smart enough to invent an indestructible replacement body part. We can’t do that in 2024, let alone 1000 or whenever the fuck httyd is set.

Anyway going off that rant, whilst Prosper does regain the ability to fly, it is very limited, not for long periods of time and kind of painful. Because that’s what happens when you get a whole ass limb torn from your body. It tends to hurt and not be ‘fixable.’

[after-witch]

yandere Shigaraki x gaming reader imagine

note: yandere, stalking, kidnapping implications

---

Oh, to be an unknown gaming streamer who dresses up in Lara Croft cosplay and streams the remastered Tomb Raider games, only for a very bored Shigaraki to stumble on your stream with a grand total of 1 person watching (the 1 person is him) and at first he's bored, thinks you're some dumbass who probably didn't even play the original games...

But after a while.... hey, you're pretty good at this, aren't you? And he thinks it's kind of cute when you get flustered with Lara's shitty controls and huff out impatiently. He offers you tips, though you don't always need them--turns out you did play the original games, though you never beat them, so he's more than happy to offer you advice on the higher levels.

And since he's the only one on your stream, you talk to him pretty eagerly. Especially when he starts donating, and he gets to see how shy and happy you look when you thank him, and tell him what you'll buy with the donations. Eventually you grant him access to a voice chat so you two can chat more organically while you play.

It's almost like your friends, he thinks. Even if you only talk to him while you stream, and you haven't given him your real name or email or have even told him where you live. (Not that he needs them. You were easy enough to find.)

The first time you giggle at something he says is when he knows he's in love.

The first time you wear an outfit he purchased for you from your wish list is when he knows he has to meet you in person.

The first time someone else shows up to your stream and you give that person just as much attention as Tomura is when he knows he's going to kidnap you sooner rather than later.

[khaoala]

happy stubborn kitten day!

[kathegoose]

i met her on my way to chicago,,,,

drew this on my..pone...📲almost died NOT CLICKBAIT!!!! this is also for a collab on bsky and YOU, my dear tumblrinas, get this in early access because i decided so!

i had some more mimic stuff drawn today as per my daily mimicdoodling but i left the paper somewhere else and cannot fetch it at the moment💔💔💔

[danlarussc]

We saved your chicken.

[impalafullofbees]

Part one here

Everyone on this site has permission add to this au, I need more of Shang Qinghua with a baby chicken!!

I will probably make more if people like this enough, drop some suggestions if one of you are thinking of something specific!

[theladysunami]

As someone who doesn’t speak a lick of Chinese (and really struggles to distinguish tones), I have some question for any fluent Chinese speakers.

It’s a common trope in SVSSS fanfiction where Shen Qingqiu and/or Shang Qinghua use terms for modern technology and the PIDW natives around them are puzzled by it.

What sort of homophones (or near homophones) are there for words like “airplane,” “cell phone,” “television,” “refrigerator,” “microwave,” and so forth? In other words, what might PIDW natives think they’re hearing while trying to listen in on the transmigrators? Are there any (near) homophones that depend on the dialect being spoken?

If the PIDW natives saw the words written, rather than heard them, what meanings might they come up with based on the characters used?

I can guess at some possible interpretations by looking things up in Yabla’s Chinese English Pinyin Dictionary, but they’re rough guesses at best.

I’d be delighted if someone actually knowledgeable could provide some insight on what Mobie-jun and Luo Binghe might think their husbands are talking about when they hear them use words and phrases “from their hometown.”

Edit: Apparently my homophone guesses weren't nearly as terrible as I'd feared, so I'm going to edit this and stick some of them under a read more for fun.

Native speakers please feel free to bully me if I screw up!

Airplane (飞机, fēi jī) "Flying Machine" 飞, fēi: "to fly" ● 机, jī: "machine" Possible Homophones: ● "Flying Chicken" (飞鸡) We definitely need fics where everyone thinks SQQ insists on calling SQH a chicken for some reason.

Cell Phone (手机, shǒu jī) "Hand Machine" 手, shǒu: "hand," "to hold" ● 机, jī: "machine" Possible Homophones: ● "Head/Chief Chicken" (首鸡) ● "Hand Muscle" (手肌) Does Shizun need a hand massage, or miss the "top-dog" chicken he grew up with? Who knows!

Telephone (电话, diàn huà) "Electric Talk" 电, diàn: "electric" ● 话, huà: "language," "speech," "talk" Possible Homophones: ● "Palace Talk" (殿话) ● "Shop Talk" (店话) The most likely guesses seem to be that the phrase has something to do with situational modes of speech. How one speaks in a palace hall, or how one speaks in an inn/shop.

Television (电视, diàn shì) "Electric View" 电, diàn: "electric" ● 视, shì: "to look at," "to regard" Possible Homophones: ● "Court Examination," "Imperial Exam" (殿试) ● "Think on/Remember a Matter," "Worry About Things" (惦事) Why demon lord husbands would pine after imperial exams is anyone's guess.

Refrigerator (冰箱, bīng xiāng) "Ice Box" 冰, bīng: "ice" ● 箱, xiāng: "box" No homophones needed. Meaning is obvious. Huzzah!

Microwave (微波炉, wēi bō lú) "Tiny Wave Stove" 微, wēi: "tiny" ● 波, bō: "wave," "ripple" ● 炉, lú: "stove," "furnace" Possible Homophones: ● "Power Sowing Furnace" (威播炉) No great options here, so they'd likely assume it's some special pill furnace variety.

Car/Automobile (汽车, qì chē) "Steam Vehicle" 汽, qì: "steam," "vapor" ● 车, chē: "vehicle," "chariot" (archaic) Possible Homophones: ● "Qi Chariot" (气车) ● "Near Vehicle" (汔车) A Qi powered chariot sounds pretty neat actually. The phrase could mean something like "whatever vehicle is nearest" though? Or a short range vehicle? (Google translate interpreted 汔车 as "car racing").

Courtesy of @hopingforbrain

airplane's full name can be heard as 'beating (up) flying chickens to the sky'. not in the wanking way, but actually throwing hands with the poultry.

[seabeck]

I’m glad I’m wearing glasses today

[bevioletskies]

gemini & fourth (in every universe) ↳ heart vs. tinn vs. kongthap + pictures on their phone

"Let’s take some photos...to remind us of our first date."

[julesnichols]

Juliette Nichols is tiny and greasy and looks like she'd bite you at the smallest provocation but she loves so deeply and can't express it easily and ALSO she's so so smart even if all her braincells sometimes merge into one slightly less smart one because she's so focused on something she forgets everything else to detriment of herself and everyone around her. I love her perfect character 10/10 no notes

[mod2amaryllis]

I've been cooking and food prepping so so so much making freezer meals and saving money and I've had it i want Panda Express soooooooo bad but there's food in the fridge i could cook easily there's food in the fridge but i want it and i want it so bad if i don't get bad orange chicken I'll die I'll really really die but i can't i shouldn't but i must