#but I prefer to focus more on the current ones
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[I restarted this this morning and the muse actually did latch on so this will be a full-length thing now and I'll post it when it's done. But here's the intro, per the prompt above. I think this is all because I missed out on the Ren Faire last year and I miss it.]
Tommy Kinard grins broadly at the gold dollar coins the patron deposits in his hand. While most of the 'tourists' coming to the Renaissance Faire pay with dollar bills or even 'Master Card or Lady Visa', a few of the old timers and die-hards come prepared from the bank with actual dollar coins. These days you have to order them special, so he admires the commitment to the bit. He bounces the coins a little in his hand, enjoying the clinking metal sound, the weight of them, and then puts them in the register. "Howie, one Seafoam for the gentleman," he calls over his shoulder.
His business partner, Howie Han, already with a pint glass in hand, starts pouring from the tap. "Aye, m'lord! Comin' right up!" he replies in an exaggerated Irish brogue, which sounds all the more surprising coming from a Korean man.
Tommy chuckles. The tavern at the heart of the Faire has been doing really well since he took over five years ago. Back then, he wasn't sure the gamble would pay off, but so far, it has. He never saw himself as a front-of-the-house guy before, preferring to focus on the brewing process and the business side of it. But putting on his 'innkeeper' garb every Saturday and Sunday morning works like any uniform, putting him in a mindset he wouldn't normally be in. In his brown breeches and dark green shirt with the lace-up collar he leaves untied, he kind of feels in character, even if he doesn't actually have a character to play.
He pulls a washcloth from the pocket of his apron and starts wiping down the counter between customers. The current crowd is an even mixture of 'rennies', the regulars who dress up in period-accurate garb and usually purchase season passes so they can spend every weekend here, and the tourists in their street clothes.
And someone he recognizes. "Hey, Miss May," he says, smiling at the young woman. She's in what some call 'closet garb', a long skirt and peasant blouse that straddle the gap between modern clothes and costuming. "What can I get for you?"
"Scotch eggs are coming out of the frier in a minute," Howie tells her.
Tommy winces. He hates those things.
"Oh, no thanks," May Grant says. "Can I have an apple cider?"
"Absolutely!" Tommy says. While Howie is busy retrieving the Scotch eggs from the frier, Tommy pours May's drink and charges her only half the regular cost.
"Thanks, Tommy!" She takes her drink and wanders to an unoccupied table.
"Who's here for the Scotch eggs!" Howie crows.
"All right!" "Me!" come the various responses. A pair of tourists buy two eggs a piece and mill around for a moment, before zeroing in on May's table.
Tommy frowns, but just watches. Maybe she knows them. But the line for the eggs keeps growing, demanding his full attention, distracting him from what's happening at May's table until he hears her voice, raised slightly above the din. "I'm sorry, but you're invading my personal space!" Her table sits by the wall, and it looks like they're blocking her escape.
"Hey!" Tommy shouts, coming around the bar to intercept.
"We're just making conversation," one of the men say. He's clearly been trolling the festival grounds buying alcoholic beverages at every available opportunity, because he's well past the point Tommy would have served him anything.
"Yeah, my guy, we're jus' bein' fren-frenly," his companion slurs, and puts a hand on Tommy's shoulder.
Tommy reacts before thinking, knocking the hand off his shoulder and twisting it behind the man's back. "There's such a thing as too friendly."
"Ow! Ow! You're hurting me!" the man whines. Not such a big guy now.
The other guy seems to decide this is a bar fight now, but before he can get a blow in, a gauntlet grabs on to his forearm and holds him back. "My lords!" the knight booms theatrically. "Do you have any idea who the lady's mother is? If ye do not wish to face the wrath of Pirate Queen Athena herself, you will leave this establishment now."
Tommy looks at the knight, and his entire body freezes in place. There's no shortage of good looking actors on the cast, and Tommy is sure this guy is part of the cast, even if he hasn't seen him before. No mere rennie would have this kind of stage presence. Or know who May's mom is.
"Now, apologize to the lady," the knight says. His hair is a slightly sweaty mess of brown curls, and his eyes are a piercing sky blue, but Tommy's gaze keeps getting drawn to the lips that are on the redder side of pink and look like they would feel so soft against his own.
"Ow?" says the guy in Tommy's grasp that Tommy somehow managed to completely forget he was still holding onto.
Tommy tears his gaze away from the knight and lets the tourist go. "Yes, apologies are in order," he says. He can't do an accent to save his life, so he doesn't try.
The two men give May meek 'sorrys', and Tommy shoves the one against the other on the way out the door.
May looks fine, if a little shaken. "Thanks, Tommy," she says. "Thank you, Sir Evan." She says the last with a little smile and curtsy.
'Sir Evan' gives a small bow. "If you'll excuse me, I must escort these villains out of the shire." So he's going to make sure they get booted out of the faire entirely, good.
Tommy watches the knight walk away, briefly admiring the curve of his ass in his breeches.
Renaissance faire meet cute between tavern owner Tommy ("I brewed this ale myself") and a knight ("Sir Evan" he introduces himself as; only later does Tommy hear "Buck" but it's too late, he's registered that cute knight with the bisexual color flag as Evan in his head)
A couple of drunk faire attendants try to harass Tommy's friend's teen daughter and he steps in, and Buck steps in too. Two big strapping guys tend to convince people to back off, especially when one is built like a tank and the other is literally armored
Tommy gives Buck a free mug of ale, and they talk, and throughout the day Buck keeps coming back to the tavern and Tommy watches Buck at the joust
And instead of a girl's handkerchief as a favor, Buck takes the checkered handkerchief in Tommy's apron as his favor and ties it around his wrist
Buck wins the joust and canters over, hopping down to wink at Tommy, then kissing the piece of cloth around his wrist. Tommy can't help leaning over the fence to kiss Sir Evan for real.
#911 fanfic#fanfic teaser#bucktommy#tevan#tevan fanfiction#AU where they're all working at the Ren Faire#inspired by PA Ren Faire
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heeey who's up for some more mdzs daemon au?? Today, wwx has a horrible terrible time of being alive again, and mxy's daemon isn't helping
Something was insistently pecking at Wei Wuxian's head and hands, trying to wake him up. A few times he pushed away his attacker, refusing to open his eyes. Being dead was bad enough, he didn't need to be awake as well. But the pecking always quickly resumed.Â
âPashou, leave me alone,â he grumbled.Â
âI'm not Pashou.âÂ
Startled to hear a male voice coming from the bird, Wei Wuxian quickly sat up. Too quickly, perhaps; his head was spinning from the sudden effort, almost making him nauseous. Once he no longer feared it would make him puke, Wei Wuxian looked around for the source of that voice, and quickly found it. Down on the ground, he found a miserable looking raven staring up at him. A daemon, no doubt about that, although not one he had ever seen before.Â
In fact, the entire room around him was unfamiliar. It looked as miserable as that raven, with his mangy feathers and his air of being underfed.
No sign of Pashou, though.
It wasnât exactly a surprise. The black swan had gotten so sluggish in the years after Wei Wuxian gave away his golden core, it often happened sheâd fall asleep somewhere and heâd have to look for her. Back in Yunmeng, sheâd often be napping in Jiang Chengâs office. Since theyâd moved to the Burial Mounds, Pashou had become less consistent. His silly, useless daemon.
His stupid daemon, he remembered her clumsily flying to his rescue when the fierce corpses heâd controlled turned against him. Theyâd torn her apart in front of him, and him soon after, although the most important part of him had already died alongside her. The way sheâd cried, his poor little daemon whoâd always warned him against this, whenever she could focus again for a moment.
His Pashou, deadâŚ
Nausea hit again. This time, Wei Wuxian couldnât contain it and vomited a mix of bile and blood on the already dirty floor.
âYouâll have to clean that up,â the raven flatly informed him.
Wei Wuxian shivered. It was always odd for one personâs daemon to address a human directly. Among cultivators it wasnât as scandalous as among common people, since they sometimes used their daemons to communicate with one another. Still, it was preferred to only do so if you had already been introduced to the person, and Wei Wuxian most definitely didnât know anyone with such a pathetic raven daemon.
âWho are you, anyway?â Wei Wuxian asked as he got up on shaky legs.
He felt weak, even by what heâd become used to since the Sunshot Campaign. His entire body ached, but most of all his wrists.
âIâm his daemon,â the raven retorted. âObviously.â
âWhose?â Wei Wuxian insisted.
âHis,â the raven repeated. âAh, maybe you donât realise⌠I told him that curse didnât look right. Heâs⌠Thereâs a pot with some water on that table. Itâll be easier if you look at yourself.â
Saying this the raven hopped toward an old table, and Wei Wuxian followed. That strange daemon was right, looking at his reflection told Wei Wuxian what no explanation could have convinced him of: he now inhabited a body that wasnât his. Even used as he was to dark arts, Wei Wuxian nearly shouted in surprise, although he told himself that was mostly because of this new bodyâs ghastly makeup.
Shocked as he was, Wei Wuxian had to sit down. Now that he looked around again, he realised heâd woken up laying in the middle of inscriptions written in blood on the floor. His current bodyâs own blood, for better or for worse, and that was why his wrist itched and ached that way.
âI always thought daemons were affected by possessions,â he told the raven. âEvery case Iâve seen before, the personâs daemon falls asleep or even changes appearance. But you seem fine.â
âIs that really what youâre worried about right now?â the bird scoffed.
âItâs the oddest thing about it,â Wei Wuxian retorted. Pashou would have understood. She was curious, like him, for all that she usually tried to rein him in.
The raven shook his head. âHe said it wouldnât be possession. He said he was offering himself to you, so it would be your mind in his body, and your daemon would replace me. I figured disappearing was better than going on like this.â
Without thinking, Wei Wuxian nodded. Heâd heard about rituals capable of invoking a spirit and giving it a body, but heâd naturally never tried it himself. Heâd always assumed the personâs daemon would be affected too, but it seemed heâd been wrong.
âI wonât be your daemon,â the raven suddenly announced. âYouâre not my human, Iâm not your daemon. Even if you have his body, Iâm not yours. Iâll never be anyoneâs but his.â
âWho was he, anyway?â
âHis name was Mo Xuanyu,â the raven said with something unbearably sad in his hoarse voice. âHis mother was the daughter a servant of this great house had with the master, and she had him with a cultivator. We were even in a sect, for a while. It didnât end well. We're not allowed to speak of it anymore.â
That much made sense. Of course only a person with some knowledge of cultivation could have known a ritual of that sort, not to mention using it at all. But as Wei Wuxian checked his new body, he realised with dismay that it was truly very weak. It didnât even have a golden core, and more of a crumbled piece of dust that wasnât good for anything.
âWhy did he invoke me?â Wei Wuxian asked. âItâs not something you do without good reasons.â
âWe were suffering,â the daemon explained. âEvery day for years, our life was terrible, never feeling any joy, never allowed anything good to happen to us. Our family, our aunt and some others, they mistreated us constantly. It broke us. It broke him. Near the end, he wouldnât listen to me anymore. I donât think he could hear me, most of the time. Heâd even attack me when he was upset because he forgot we were the same person.â
Wei Wuxian shivered, his nausea returning. It happened, people harming their own daemon, but it was always troubling. Heâd not always been patient with his poor Pashou toward the end, but at least heâd never hit her, no matter what terrible things heâd said to her.
âDonât get me wrong, I agreed to what he did,â the raven stated. âI want these people who hurt us to suffer, even if I have to die too. My aunt, her son, her husband, and A-Tong. They are the price you have to pay to keep using this body.â
Lowering his eyes, Wei Wuxian observed the four deep gashes on his wrists. That was inconvenient. Since he personally had no grudges against these people, he wasnât terribly interested in killing them, but since they were complete strangers and they had pushed his bodyâs previous owner to such a desperate state, it was also hard to feel much pity for them.
âItâs not like I asked to have this body,â Wei Wuxian pointed out. âAiyah, I donât even remember accepting it! But Iâm here, so I must have. And that means weâŚâ
âThere is no âweâ,â the daemon cut him. âI am not yours.â
âSo youâll fly away and live like a normal bird, eh?â Wei Wuxian snickered, as if the mere idea weren't repulsive to any sane person.Â
Well, he'd done his share of repulsive things anyway, so this seemed tame in comparison.
As for the raven he said nothing, but shuffled awkwardly on his legs. This reaction, combined with what heâd felt within his body so far, made Wei Wuxian grow suspicious.
âHow far can you go from your human, anyway?âÂ
âPretty far, but also less than the normal distance,â the raven said, preening himself in an embarrassed manner. âWe were kicked out of Jinlin Tai before I settled. We tried to do the ritual here, on our own. We'd seen others go through the trial, it didn't seem hard to organise. It⌠Backfired. I can go away, as far as I need. I went far into the North once, on the other side of the country. But being apart⌠it hurts us both as much as if we hadnât done the separation ritual. It feels⌠Wrong when we're not touching.â
That explained Mo Xuanyu's non-existent golden core, then. Even if he had started forming one, a botched separation from his daemon would have ruined it. The part about not being able to stay apart, Wei Wuxian had never heard about. But of course that was because few people survived a failed separation, and those who did were so broken you couldn't ask them questions.Â
That was why there were so many precautions around the separation, potions to make it less painful, family and teachers present to make it less traumatic. In the century or two since cultivators had started separating from their daemon, they had improved the process. Children used to die almost half the time, or so Wei Wuxian had been told. A high price to pay, but when the Wen sect had discovered it guaranteed a strong golden core at a very young age, they'd paid it without hesitation. The other sect had followed suit, most of them. Those who didn't hadn't survived long, unable to compete when the old method required twenty, thirty years to form a golden core, sometimes more.Â
Wei Wuxian had never met before someone whose separation had failed. He knew some children had died from it at the Wen indoctrination camp, but he'd never met a survivor, although he recalled some speculations about someone heâd known back then. He couldnât remember who it had been, though, and ultimately heâd lost interest in that topic, too busy with his own problems.
âYouâll have to stay with me then,â Wei Wuxian decided. âThereâs no other way.â
âIâm not your daemon.â
âNo, youâre not my Pashou, thatâs certain,â Wei Wuxian retorted with cheerful disdain.
His beautiful daemon, even after sheâd become diminished, sheâd remained a sight to behold. The most beautiful black swan the world had ever seen, his pride and joy as long as she thrived, still loved and cared for once she was little more than a dead weight. A mere raven couldnât compare to her, least of all one as ugly and pathetic as that one.
âWeâll see if itâs easier for you to go away now that thereâs a different soul in this body,â Wei Wuxian suggested. âIf you can, then go and become a bird if you like, Iâve managed without a daemon before. Otherwise, youâll have to stick around. Iâve been in enough pain in my life. How is that for a deal⌠ah⌠whatâs your name anyway?â
The raven preened himself. âI donât have to tell you that. Iâm not your daemon. We donât need to talk, so you donât need to know my name.â
Frustrated by that stubborn bird, Wei Wuxian had half a mind to grab it by the neck and shake it around until it stopped making things difficult. But this was another personâs daemon, and just that brief thought was nauseating. He didnât want to ever touch that raven.
Maybe the bird was right. Wei Wuxian didnât need to know his name. All he needed to know was whether they could work together to sort out their strange situation⌠but even that would have to wait: before Wei Wuxian could argue his case, the front door opened and a richly dressed boy entered accompanied by servants, intending to beat him up for something his bodyâs previous occupant had done.
That damn raven couldn't even be counted on to help. Perhaps guessing what was about to happen, the daemon had flown away the instant the door opened. Normally Wei Wuxian wouldn't have needed him anyway, but as he quickly discovered, even that little distance between his new body and Mo Xuanyu's daemon caused him considerable pain. Shocked by that sensation, he was unable to defend himself against his bullies. To the pain of separation were soon added numerous bruises, which were more bearable because more familiar.Â
The rich boy and his minions left, but closed the door behind them before the raven could return.Â
Laying on the floor, bruised and miserable, Wei Wuxian cursed the body's previous occupant, the daemon raven, and everyone else in the house. As he tried to catch his breath, his hand wandered at his side, grasping for something absent. Even as her condition worsened, Pashou had always felt it when he truly needed her, and she'd waddle her way to him no matter what.Â
But she was gone now. He would never again hold her in his arms.Â
In a way Pashou had been lost long before they died, of course. From the moment they'd done that core transfer⌠she'd been little more than another walking corpse at Wei Wuxian's side.Â
It would be hard, living without even that much left of her. But Wei Wuxian had done many hard things in his life. He would manage this, too.Â
At least, he would do it once that damned raven came back within a reasonable distance.
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So how many au's have you created?
Hi!
I currently have 4 AUs, if I remember correctly
In The Other Side/Bad Dream is my default AU
My Mer!AU which is a bit neglected honestly
Cursed Lake/mechaMer!AU where Sun and Moon are sort of mechanical mers, or very creepy underwater animatronics
Skatepark!AU where everyone is a skateboarder or extreme sports enthusiast lmao
#I have other aus that I'm working on#but I prefer to focus more on the current ones#and post some more lore#asks
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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition
Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another
You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed
Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)
Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can
I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that
Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn
#I won't say anything else on this; but I will say that to me one of the groups that it feels like is most forgotten is Syrians#including by me if I'm honest#I don't know what's currently happening in Syria... but... my understanding is it still hasn't really gotten better#assad is still brutalizing people last I had heard#so rather than saying anything else I'd prefer to simply focus on some people it feels like were forgotten back during Obama#and... and have remained forgotten#and I'm sorry I can't do more to help with the suffering in the world#but... you notice what I'm not having to do here?#I'm not having to throw a single other person under the bus#I'm able to just focus on how much I wish for Syrians to be ok (which is a hollow gesture on my part in many ways I think)#and I can keep all the focus on Syrians rather than throwing anyone else under the bus or doing any whataboutism#and that's literally all I'm asking of you fucking people#don't downplay human misery to try and make your thing seem more important#they're both fucking important... they're all important#there's so much suffering I can't even keep up with it#there's so much of it that I can only name without knowing the details; Congo; I believe Sudan is still suffering; Haiti#I don't know how things are in Ethiopia right now... I can't keep track#and none of these situations and the horrible things they're dealing with; things I haven't even been able to follow#none of it detracts from and of the issues I am following more closely#I don't need to compare them and say 'well it's not as bad'; because... bad is bad and any is too much#and nothing I say here will do a damn thing; no one'll hear and even if they did they'd ignore it or get pissed#that's what my evidence shows me about how people behave#but suffering isn't a competition; the correct amount is zero#and... perhaps I'd have more tolerance if I hadn't watched how you behave with stuff#...the worst part is the person I adore who... man... I wish I could just get them to really think through their words#they mean well; they're coming from a place of love; but I just haven't been able to paint the picture for them of the harm#and I'm flawed; I don't have all the answers; I could be wrong here#but... can you at least see why I feel that maybe we shouldn't pit misery against each other#that the people suffering have more in common with each other than opposed and... maybe westerners aren't fucking helping#eh... too fucking drained thinking about this; end of tags
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Hello!!! Thanks for the tag!! <3 Didn't expect to be tagged to be honest but I'm glad I did get tagged! :D
Also I must say everyone who reblogged before me sounds like such cool people! :>
Last song: American Jesus by Bad Religion! At first I wanted to say a Bowie song because I was listening to it all day due to it having been his death anniversary but then my playlist thought to be like "I don't think so!" and played a different song I like. I am pretty much a person who listens to everything.
Favourite colour: Despite my layout having purple and blue as the primary colours, my favourite colours are yellow (especially the yellow daffodils have) and dark green! Obviously I also like my layout colours but I'd say green and yellow just feel so soothingly happy to me.
Last Book: I am currently reading Faust 1 by Goethe because my finals are creeping up and it's one of the books I may need for those lol. But I also enjoy the book quite a lot!
Last movie: The phantom of the opera! I watched it together with my mother one random evening last year and I haven't watched any movie since then. I do want to watch Nosferatu next, though!
Last TV show: My mother and I have started watching a lot of shows together (this includes DBDA but it was too gay to handle for her conservative mind and she noped out after the cat king was introduced) and the latest is "From" it's not really popular, I think, at least it doesn't have a lot of Fanfics but I did enjoy the first season. I am a little sceptical about how they always introduce a bunch of characters but I hope that they flesh them out! It does have sapphics though so that's a win.
Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: I do have a big sweet tooth but I think outside of snacks and chocolate I am more of a fan of spicy food? Like, if someone asked me whether I'd want a spicy or a sweet dish for dinner, Id probably be more inclined to choose the spicy one.
Last thing I searched online: I researched for a fanfic I want to write and so it's "Boarding schools in Edwardian Britain" (now take a big guess for which fandom!! It's so niche you will never figure it out /s)
Current Obsession: My obsession with Genshin and HSR is dying down quite a bit (let's face it, it's the fandom's fault) And now my focus is back on demons and Greek Mythology. I have the want to get into Athuriana literature as well but ugh I'm too busy for this. Outside of occultism and mythology, yeah, obviously DBDA. It hit me HARD and I'm not mad!!! ... Also my own OCs but that's something only I can fix.
Looking forward to: Graduation!! Yes, everyone is telling me that it only gets worse from now on (which,,, very promising btw) but I am so glad when I leave this school. At least at university I can choose a bit more of what I want to do. I am also gonna get a therapist which I am in dire need of and hopefully try to get gender affirming care at the end of the year. I already have a job lined up so the only other things I want to achieve this year is finishing up my driver's license and get the scholarship I applied for but that part is something I have no control over! Also, I might need to look out for apartments because of a reason surrounding my family situation but, well, I prefer living alone anyway. Just gotta see how I'm gonna support myself.
Ten people I'd like to know better: You know, I don't even know if I know the blog names of ten separate people or if they're even okay with me tagging them (what's the etiquette for that? I know that some other platforms were rather... nasty about it). So,,, if you come across this and you want to do this, I always like to read about other people's interests!! So pretend I tagged you, if we're mutuals or I follow you, I do know and like you, I am just an awkward person who doesn't know how to act with people :).
10 People I'd Like to Know Better
Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!đ!đ
last song: Gloria by the Lumineers
favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.
last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish
last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)
last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)
sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.
last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).
current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this pointđł. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.
looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.
ten people iâd like to know better:
@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)
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get ready for my shitty wips
i uh. i've never had. a lot of wips. so this feels a bit silly but whatever it's for fun ig ⨠ty @toyybox
Rules: Pick a bunch of your WIPs and summarize them as badly as possible, then ask your followers to vote on which one they'd be most likely to read. Multiple/all/none options are completely optional.
Open tag because I'm eepy ďźďźÂ´Đ´ď˝ďźă
#tag game#fun fact one of these is actually not a wip at all it's just an idea#so yes i have 1 wip i usually do#i just prefer to focus on one thing at a time idk i cant bounce around like everyone else seems to#if you are confused about the volume 2 bit the implied volume 1 is referring to my darkness day thing for castys#he in a cave and there is a little bit of internal organ silliness#but the current wip has more rocks more gore with a well beloved guest star of sorts#more of an inspo point ig#and then not going to therapy hoo boy. wacky idea from anime that i think will be very silly
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IS IT CASUAL NOW?
pairing: vi x fem!reader word count: 14.6k summary: you and vi are both tired of complicated relationships so try the whole friends-with-benefits thing....and maybe forget the whole point of your arrangement in the first place. warning: lesbian situationships (there is so much angst and yearning), brief mention of (internalized) homophobia and struggles with addiction....but mostly cheesy domestic fluff and smut [oral (vi receiving), fingering (both receiving), thigh riding, slight bondage play, switch!vi has my heart] (18+) ! a/n: merry (belated oops) xmas girls and gays <33 i've probably spent way too much time on this but it's my BABY....kinda based on leighton and alicia's plotline in s1 of sex lives of college girls and ofc casual by chappell roan (there are many other chappell references throughout too hehe). also yes i made a mini playlist that consists of the songs that i think reflect this fic's sun, moon, and rising signs....pls enjoy and happy holidays !!!
âŞ: "angel baby" by troye sivan (sun); "pretty girl" by hayley kiyoko (moon); "casual" by chappell roan (rising)
ânot even one week into the new academic year, violet rose atlas, captain of the varsity soccer team, has been suspended from gameplay due to recent unsportsman-like behavior, sentenced to 100 hours of community service, and banned from the local lesbian bar.âÂ
mel removes her eyes from the screen to raise an eyebrow at you. you just shrug and take a sip of your coffee. you glance over at the clock on the wall.Â
11:09am.Â
âto top it all off, sheâs late,â you declare, trying your best to hide the anticipation simmering in your stomach.
âwhatâs your deal, anyways? you totally flirt with her whenever sheâs at the bar. not even we get that good of service,â gert points out. theyâre searching through a stack of cdâs and cassette tapes for something to play.Â
âthat was before.âÂ
you walk over to sit next to gert, taking it upon yourself to choose the music. you settle on jagged little pill; alanis morrissetteâs lush voice is a welcomed addition to your conversation.
âour funding is at risk,â you explain. âitâs like the dean assigned her to us because she knew it would end terribly and the board would have an excuse to finally cut us loose.âÂ
âif they need an excuse, theyâll find one,â gert grumbles.
you shrug. âi just think violet is bad news, which is something iâd prefer we avoid..â
âthe article does say that she punched maddie nolan in the face during an exhibition game against the piltover knights.â
âsee? bad news. literally.â
âwell, i think we lucked out,â sky gushes, though her focus remains on finishing her current project. sheâs crocheting so fast that you only catch glimpses of her sparkly pink fingernails. youâre sure sheâll be done with this blanket before violet shows up. if she even bothers to show up. âthe yellowjackets mightâve lost their captain, but we get to spend quality time with the hottest butch on campus.â
âwhatever,â you sigh, though you donât disagree with that description. you check the clock again â 11:11am â and settle against the worn couch. âsince we have the time â mel, why donât you read our horoscopes? iâm itching to see what the universe has in store for us today.âÂ
âââââ âââ ââââââ
vi spent the better part of last night crying and getting wasted in her bathtub with cheap dye burning into her scalp.Â
she just couldnât stand the memory of caitlyn kirammanâs perfectly manicured nails running through her formerly pink locks as they kissed, tugging on viâs hair to bring her closer â
enough. fucking pull yourself together.Â
caitâs moved on, that much is clear, with someone more like her. someone whose last name is on buildings all around the university of piltoverâs campus.
so far, no amount of bar fights or red cards or late nights in some random girlâs bed seem to mend the heart that caitlyn shattered to pieces, but vi doesnât give up easy.
soon enough, sheâll be back on the field, leading the yellowjackets to victory at nationals; sheâll finish all her classes, graduate with honors and have a great plan for an even greater future; all while having amazing, mind-blowing sex that wonât lead to serious heartbreak.
relationships are overrated, anyways.Â
the first step in this plan: spending 100 hours with a bunch of angry, bra-burning lesbians.
maybe vi will fit right in.
so, vi walks into her community service assignment with a wicked migraine and hands that look like lady macbeth plotted to murder an oil spill, but with her usual confident swagger nonetheless, as conversation echoes down the hallway.
âaccording to your rising, there will be a much needed spark in your romantic life. my guess is a fire sign is gonna sweep you off your feet.â
another voice chimes in, a gentle rumble. âcould that be your sweet jules?âÂ
âiâve never asked about her chart,â an achingly familiar voice replies. it brings back memories of dizzying lights and strong whiskey coursing through her blood, but something else, too. a sky full of stars and too-sweet alcohol on her tongue. âpaula was a fire sign, though, and that blew up in my face.â
âpaula was a walking red flag.â
âyeah, well, apparently redâs my favorite color.â
âmaybe that was just the heartbreak you needed to bring passion back into your life. do you feel that with jules?â
âi donât know â maybe? we havenât had sex yet.âÂ
âpassion isnât just about sex, you know ââ
âgert, i love you, but i cannot handle a sex therapy session right now.â
someone else giggles, bright and bubbly. âhm, i wonder what sign our pink-haired hottie is.âÂ
vi clears her throat to announce her arrival, leaning against the doorway.
everyone turns to look at her then, with varying degrees of shock, and vi feels like sheâs just walked into an after midnight roommate vent session.
she isnât sure what she expected the space to look like, but zaun universityâs womenâs centre is well-lived in, defined by a sort of organized chaos. each wall is covered in posters and collages, multicolored flags and fairy lights; thereâs a shelf in the corner with assorted trinkets and books piled high, a table next to it with baskets of condoms, pads, and tampons and informational pamphlets, and a door in the opposite corner, slightly ajar. a vintage boombox placed on the coffee table plays 90s alt rock, circled by mismatched seating with patterned blankets and brightly colored pillows strewn about.
someone with dark lipstick and an eyebrow piercing is drawing on their converse; a dark brunette wearing glasses is draping a blanket over the arm of a couch; another person is scrolling on their laptop, a gold necklace glittering on their collarbones.Â
viâs attention is stuck on you, though, the origin of the aforementioned familiar voice: the very hot bartender from sapphoâs, where vi happened to be kicked out of not even 72 hours prior.Â
youâre wearing a vintage wonder woman t-shirt tucked into faded blue jeans with a carabiner clipped to a belt loop. the sleeves of your shirt are rolled up, displaying your array of tattoos â viâs already decided that her favorites are joan of arc holding her sword, a pomegranate thatâs been cracked open, and lyrics from bikini killâs ârebel girlâ (which admittedly, vi had to look up when she first saw). itâs everything viâs booze-soaked brain had apparently memorized after many nights of staring at you across the bar counter, licking up whatever honeyed flirtations youâd spill from your lips. vi always noticed your hands, too: the many rings youâve stacked on your fingers, the lavender sprig sprouting from your middle finger and venus symbol etched onto your wrist, the nails that are always clipped short and painted black.Â
one of those nails is tapping anxiously on your coffee mug, which has a picture of hayley kiyoko as lesbian jesus.
âpink-haired hottie, reporting for duty. though, i might need a new nickname.â vi grins; you roll your eyes. âiâm an aries, by the way.â
âgood to know.â the brunette winks not-so-subtly in your direction before walking towards vi and extending a hand, gold bangles clinking together at the motion. âiâm sky, she/her. we had electromagnetic theory together last spring. itâs lovely to officially meet you.â
vi makes a big show of leaning down and kissing skyâs hand.
ânice to meet you, too, sweetheart.â
âsuch a gentleman,â sky giggles and leads vi to the patchwork couch. she curls up like a cat, and vi follows suit â the couch is cloud soft, and vi tries not to sink into the cushions. âiâm our supplies and communications coordinator.â she turns away from vi to look around the room. âokay, thatâs my intro. whoâs next?â
the person with an eyebrow piercing nods at vi, a sort of effortless greeting. âgert, they/them.â they snap the sharpie shut after writing âthe future is intersectionalâ on the tip of their toe. âi curate and design our newsletter, the black rose. iâm also in a band ââ
âthe sirens of zaun. yeah, i recognize you. youâve played a few gigs at sapphoâs.âÂ
vi looks at you pointedly, and you take this as your cue to disappear behind the door, which appears to lead into some sort of office.
gert seems pleased, though. âthen you might also recognize our lead singerâŚ.â
the person with the gold necklace, who vi does, in fact, vaguely recognize but canât quite name, closes their laptop and waves at vi. âiâm mel. pronouns: she/her. i mostly deal with the finances around here. and, from what i understand, youâre already well acquainted with our fearless leader ââ
mel is cut off by the sound of her phone alarm.Â
âshit â itâs already 11:30. our set at campus radio starts soon.â mel gestures at gert. gert picks up the bright red guitar case behind them and secures it around their shoulder as mel packs up her leather satchel.Â
âdamn, i gotta get to class, too. the space-time continuum waits for no one.â sky gets up and gathers her things, too, stuffing yarn into a fruit-printed tote bag. âit was nice meeting you though.â she pats viâs head affectionately before throwing out a loud: âsee ya later, boss!â
mel and gert offer similar farewells, and you shout goodbye from the other room before the three of them are out the door. vi expects you to reappear a few moments later; when you donât, she ventures into the office.
itâs smaller, but just as decorated as the lounge space. thereâs a desk that seems to be more storage than actual use, littered with piles of books and old copies of the black rose. youâre sitting on a fluffy rainbow carpet that looks like every member of sesame street stitched together, writing something in a sticker-covered notebook.Â
âso, violet ââ
âviâs fine,â she tells you. she decides to sit on the floor next to you rather than the zebra striped chaise lounge.
you nod, rip a page out of your notebook, and hand it to vi. thereâs something a bit too intimate about knowing what your handwriting looks like before even knowing your name.Â
âthis is a run down of everything youâll need to know, but real quick: we do feminist film fridays and trivia tuesdays on alternating weeks; our radical reads book club meets once a month, along with our slam poetry group, and we have a bunch of other events in between â workshops, art builds, discussion groups, and so on. sky keeps everything in the centre stocked, and occasionally the rest of us will pitch in when organizing a charity drive. our newsletter publishes the third wednesday of every month â gert puts it together, but we print in pairs since it could be a lot of work for one person. we have team meetings once a week to share updates, make sure weâre all on the same page, stuff like that. any questions?âÂ
âwow, okay. thatâs a lot.â
you smile. âiâm sure youâll be able to keep up, varsity.âÂ
âsoâŚ.where do i fit in?âÂ
âthat depends on you, really,â you tap your glitter gel pen on your notebook, thinking. âlike, iâm assuming youâre not well versed in feminist literature.â
vi puffs out her chest. âbased on what assumptions? iâm not a dumb jock.â
âyeah, i know youâve made the dean list ever since your freshman year.âÂ
vi raises an eyebrow. âkeeping tabs on me, wonder woman?â she teases.Â
you laugh. âdonât flatter yourself. skyâs the one who mentioned it to me. so, unless you mean your very large, unpaid tab at sapphoâs...â
âthe bar i was kicked out of, you mean.â
âwell, yeah, because you ââ you take a deep breath. ânot the point. anyways, we donât have a complete schedule for book club, so you can maybe take the lead on one of our meetings. do you have a favorite author?âÂ
vi smiles at you sheepishly. âahâŚ..you got me there.â
âthought so,â you smirk and vi covers her blush. âif youâre curious, this bridge called my back is a good place to start. oh, and audre lorde is a classic and a personal favoriteâŚ..â you pause when you catch vi staring at you. she wants you to keep talking, to appreciate the way your eyes light up so enthusiastically, but you blink away, and a veil of professionalism falls back onto you. âsorry. anyways, weâre having trivia tomorrow â would you be able to help us out with that?
vi nods. âsure.â
âsweet.â you check your phone. âiâve got a coffee date, so i should get going.â
âwait â you never told me your name, wonder woman.â
âwell, itâs not diana prince,â you quip before finally introducing yourself.Â
ânice to finally put a name to the face.â vi winks at you, standing up. she extends a hand to guide you up. your hand is cold against her skin, your metal rings even colder.
âiâll see you around, varsity.â before youâre out the door, you turn back around. âoh, and vi?â
âyeah?â
âdonât be late.â
âââââ âââ ââââââ
you had stepped away for a quick smoke break â a habit you knew you had to kick â but youâre so fucking drained and itâs only wednesday.Â
you were up all night bickering with your girlfriend. it started with her admitting that she really doesnât want to meet your friends, which transitioned into her asking you to not talk to anyone about her or your relationship, which prompted you to make a (maybe slightly insensitive) comment about how sheâs welcome to stay in the closet but has no right to push you back in.Â
needless to say, you did not get any sleep.
youâre about to walk outside, and finally get a moment of peace, when your phone rings. itâs your sibling, and the fact that theyâre calling instead of texting tells you that this conversation is about to be (A) exhausting, (B) infuriating, or (C) both.
the correct answer is C.
itâs the same story over and over again: your dad drinks too much, your mom is absent. it hadnât been this bad when you were growing up, but you suppose youâd been around to ease the damage, or at least step in and take care of your sibling as needed.Â
âjust â take a deep breath. you can come stay with me for the weekend, okay? itâll be good for you to get away from the chaos for a bitâŚ.weâll go apple picking if the weatherâs nice, maybe start working on your halloween costume â whatever you wanna do.â
âyou know, iâm not five anymore,â they mumble, stifling a small laugh along with some tears. âbutâŚokay. that sounds nice.â
you smile to yourself, shoulder pressing against the door. âitâs a plan then. weâll sort out the details later. and, donât worry about mom and dad â iâll take care of it. love you.âÂ
you hang up and exhale as you finally push the door open, happy to finally get one moment to breathe.
except, just as youâre greeted by a crisp breeze on this beautiful late september evening, youâre also greeted by the sight of vi pressing someone against the brick wall, their legs wrapped around her waist as she kisses their neck.
something ignites in your abdomen, familiar after many nights of seeing vi at the bar, charming her way into another womanâs bed. except, itâs definitely not jealousy, this time.
(okay, maybe it is; but only a bit.)
they spring apart upon hearing the door slam closed. you recognize who viâs with â maya, a sophomore whoâs frequently attended womenâs centre events since last year. sheâs always been friendly with the team, but never this friendly.
âoh my gosh, i am so sorry!â
âyou donât have to apologize,â you tell her sincerely. her cheeks are flushed, and sheâs busy smoothing down her skirt, clearly trying to distance herself from vi, whoâs leaning against the wall nonchalantly. âi just need to talk to violet, so do you mind giving us a sec?â
you wait until maya disappears inside to cross your arms and glare at vi.
âso, itâs violet now, huh?â she teases, wiping red lipstick off her smirk.
âyou were supposed to be helping facilitate this workshop,â you note.Â
âwell, it is a queer sex ed workshop.â vi rolls her eyes. âi was giving maya a hands-on experience.â
you grit your teeth together. âand you just had to do that now? like you just had to go down on that third year during trivia last week?â
âwell, see, i donât have a ton of free time, and since iâm not allowed at the local lesbian barâŚ.â she trails off, looking at you pointedly. âiâve had to resort to multi-tasking.â
âmulti-tasking.â you let an exhausted, bitter laugh slip from your lips. âyouâve showed up late to every single event in the past few weeks, and once youâre there, youâre either on your laptop, getting drunk, or hooking up with someone. tell me, violet, as captain of the yellowjackets â if someone on your team was acting like this, what would you do?â
vi narrows her eyes at you, like she canât believe what youâre asking, and admits, âiâd call them out, tell them to do better.â
âright. and if they kept giving you empty promise after empty promise? youâd have to do something more drastic, even if you didnât want to, yeah?â
no response.
shaking your head, you take out a cigarette. thereâs only silence when you flick the lighter open and light it between your lips. you inhale deeply, letting the smoke enter your lungs, exhale slowly, and decide: âiâm gonna ask the dean to reassign you.â
âfine by me,â vi scoffs, but you swear that something close to disappointment flashes across her face. âclearly, this isnât working out.â
âclearly.â you take another drag of your cigarette, and as vi walks back inside, you canât help but try to get under her skin. youâve had a bad week, between family drama and turbulence in your relationship with jules, and youâre just sick of people not giving a shit. âthe yearâs already started, so i doubt thereâs something available. which means youâll remain on academic probation until spring.â
and, okay â you do get some twisted satisfaction in how that makes vi stop in her tracks. youâre leaning against the wall, and she strides over to stand in front of you, her jaw and fists clenched.
âiâll miss the whole tournament.â
you shrug, and blow smoke in her face. âiâve given you plenty of chances.â
âbut the team needs me ââ
âyou should have thought of that before you fucked up, varsity,â you snap. viâs eyes widen; youâre usually more level-headed. âyouâre cocky, irresponsible â â
âi lost my scholarship,â vi blurts out, prompting you to pause, the cigarette millimeters from your lips.Â
you blink at her, blood still roaring in your ears.
âiâŚdonât know why thatâs relevant.â
vi just sighs, so deeply that you feel it in your bones. you havenât seen this side of her before â no flirtatious smile, no overconfident posture. instead, she slips to the ground, knees pressed to her chest. feeling a bit guilty for pushing her buttons, you slide down next to her. you offer her the cigarette, but she shakes her head.
âiâŚiâm going through a shitty breakup. iâve been lashing out, and i lost my scholarship. i havenât asked my parents for money, because the last thing i want is for them to worry about me. so, i started picking up these odd jobs to make ends meet, and the hours are a bit crazy so between school and practice and â fuck, thereâs also shit going on with my sister that i wonât even get into now, but itâs a lot â and i also need to do this because i let my team down and i need to be there for them, whatever it takes, and iâm just so fucking ââ
âexhausted, yeah.âÂ
you can see more clearly now â the slump in her shoulders, the shadows underneath her eyes; you see her more clearly. you realize that you might have more in common with violet rose atlas than you initially thought.
âso the laptop ââ
âfinishing assignments.â
âthe drinking?â
vi juts her chin out at your smouldering cigarette. âwe all have our vices.â
âand the sex?â
her lips curl into a sheepish grin, and she shrugs. âwe all need to relieve stress.â
you clear your throat, blinking away from her gaze and trying to ignore how you can feel warmth radiating from her body, so close to yours. âright.â
vi runs her hand through her tar-black hair. that should have been your first hint â nothing says lesbian breakup more than terribly dyed hair and questionable decisions.Â
âlook, i know i canât do everything, but i have to, and iâm still trying to figure out how.â
âwellâŚ.as far as excuses go, itâs not the worst,â you admit. âthanks for telling me. i know that couldnât have been easy.â you take a deep breath and get to your feet. âi stand by what i said earlier, though â this isnât working out. you just canât tell us that youâll be helpful and not follow through. it means a lot, to a lot of people, that thereâs a space like this on campus. mel, gert, skyâ they all work so hard to make that happen, and thatâs something i need to protect. iâm sorry.â
âwait.â vi grabs your wrist before you can leave. âiâm sorry. really, i am. i promise to do better.â
âyouâve made that promise before,â you point out. âwhy should i believe this time will be different?â
âbecauseâŚyouâre right. iâve been too caught up in myself, in what i need, in what my team needs. i can see that you really care about your team, though, and i should have respected that. theyâre â youâre â amazing, everything that you do to make people feel safe and heard and loved. iâm sorry for taking that for granted.â
wow. okay.Â
you did not expect that. youâre hoping that vi canât feel your pulse quicken at her words, but youâre glad that sheâs holding on to you, keeping you steady.
âyeah, wellâŚflatteryâs not gonna get you far.â you clear your throat. âbut, youâre obviously going through a lot right now, and it can drive you crazy, feeling like youâre the one who ââ
âhas to keep everything together,â vi finishes, sliding to the ground once more. you follow. âseems like iâm cracking under pressure, this time. fucking everything up.â
âyouâve got a reckless streak.â
âmust be the aries in me,â she laughs, softly. âapparently itâs my Ieast attractive quality. along with my stubbornness and selfishness.â
âwell, i donât think thatâs the whole picture,â you assure her. vi looks at you incredulously. âi wonât lie and say that your actions arenâtâŚ.thoughtless sometimes. youâre more self-centred than selfishââ
âhey!âÂ
âbut you obviously feel some sense of responsibility, for your team, your family, for what you think is right. hell â the reason my boss asked me to kick you out is because you started a bar fight with that frat boy who was insisting he had the right dick to set lesbians straight.â
vi scoffs. âasshole.â
âi was about to throw him out, but you beat me to the punch. literally.â you nudge your shoulder against viâs, and she chuckles. âand, yeah, youâre stubborn, which can be annoying, but it also means that youâd never give up, that youâre willing to keep trying despite the odds, soâŚ.âÂ
âsoâŚ.?â
viâs looking at you with the widest, softest eyes. fuck, you never expected her to be this gentle, so much so that it you want to melt to her every need.Â
âiâm hoping third timeâs the charm, varsity.â
vi smiles, the most sincere one sheâs probably ever given you, and the scar on her lip stretches; for all your talk about responsibility, thereâs a part of you whoâd risk pushing your already tenuous relationship with your girlfriend to its breaking point just so you could kiss vi, guilt-free, just once. maybe you have a bit of a reckless streak, too.
âthanks, wonder woman. you wonât regret it.â
yeah. you kind of already do.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
vi would never admit it, but one reason she fought to keep her community service assignment here is because she wanted to keep seeing you.Â
she likes getting under your skin, seeing those pretty eyes roll whenever she strides in late for a meeting, that kissable jaw clench any time you catch her tangled up with someone else.Â
it almost makes up for all those nights at sapphoâs youâd spent flirting back and forth, some sort of unspoken agreement between you to never go further.
sometimes, itâs just nice to have a crush in your back pocket, to know that theyâll always be there to admire and admire you back while others come and go.
the more time you spend together, though, the more vi realizes that youâre not just a fictional character in her head, in a fantasy she pictures before bed â no, youâre tangible.
vi watches as you bring special tea for gert when their period cramps are particularly painful; she listens to you console mel after another fight with her mother and offer advice to sky when she was hoping to ask out her lab partner. vi notices how you prefer your coffee with a dash of cinnamon; and she learns that you had your first kiss with a girl in your freshman year journalism class, and that your first tattoo was done by the same person. a stick-and-poke star on your ankle.
she can hear your laugh, feel the cool metal of your rings brush against her skin accidentally when youâre squeezing past her in a crowded room, smell your perfume when you hug her goodbye. you have stories and quirks and expectations and opinions that vi subconsciously files away as she gets to know you better.
youâre not just a crush, anymore.Â
youâre a friend.Â
vi likes having you as a friend. really â she does!
youâre a friend who makes viâs heart jump at the sight of your name on her phone. a friend who smirks when vi blushes after you tell her she has the prettiest cheekbones youâve ever seen. a friend who mentions this vibrator that gave you one of the best orgasms youâve ever had, so vi orders the same one and maybe still pictures you before bed, imagining that youâre using it at the same time. except someone else might be next to you.
yeah, viâs pretty sure youâre dating someone, but thatâs something she hasnât gathered enough information on.Â
not that it matters. she wouldnât be interested in anything serious, anyways, after the mindfuck that was her relationship with caitlyn, and the damage sheâs still having to heal from.
though, if that hadnât happened, vi would have never gotten into a fight with maddie nolan, the second striker for the piltover knights, who taunted her during an exhibition game about how caitlyn is so much happier now that she isnât disgracing herself with a filthy zaunite. vi would have never been banned from the first half of the tournament and chewed out by coach sevika for fucking up the yellowjacketsâ chance at nationals.Â
vi would have never been put on academic probation and assigned to 100 hours of community service, either.
she certainly wouldnât have been here, now, in the womenâs centre office close to midnight on a tuesday, folding the most recent issue of the black rose when you walk in.
âoh. hey, v.â you drop down on the zebra-striped couch, your tote bag falling to the ground. âi thought sky was gonna be here tonight.â
vi shakes her head, removing one earbud and letting it dangle from the cord. âsheâs got this huge chem report due tomorrow, had to meet up with viktor to get it done.â
ârightâŚâ you sigh and lie back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. a few moments pass, and thereâs only your steady breathing. âwhat are you listening to?â
your eyes are closed when vi settles in next to you. itâs a relatively tight fit, but it doesnât seem like either of you particularly care. vi gently places an earbud in your ear.
you snort, opening your eyes. âyou could have just said the cranberries.â
âiâm surprised you recognize them,â vi quips. âitâs not your usual angry girl music.â
âwell, sometimes people surprise you. this is actually one of my favorite songs,â you explain. âitâs in one of my favorite movies, too.â
âyouâve got mail?â
you furrow your brows. âwhen harry met sally.â
vi shakes her head. âno, âdreamsâ is definitely in youâve got mail. but, i agree that when harry met sally is a better movie.â
âyouâve watched nora ephron movies and enjoyed them?â
âwell, sometimes people surprise you,â vi teases. âi can appreciate a good love story as much as the next person.â
you let out a short, airy laugh. you tilt your head and youâre so close to vi that youâre practically exchanging the same breath. your eyes land on her lips for a millisecond, and vi starts to lean in before you sit up abruptly.Â
âi could use some alcohol.â you climb over vi and go to the desk, pull out a half empty bottle of fruit-flavored soju from a drawer. you grab two mugs â the hayley kiyoko one, and another with frida kahlo. you stop short of pouring, looking to vi. she nods.Â
soon enough, youâve got your legs strewn along viâs lap, sipping lychee infused alcohol.Â
âcan i ask you something?â
âanything,â vi answers, squeezing your calf.
âwhyâd you and caitlyn break up?â the question hangs in the air for a second before you add: âif you donât wanna talk about it though, i understand.âÂ
shit. itâs definitely not viâs favorite topic of conversation, butâŚ.
âi think she thought that i was one of the good ones, that regardless of the way i grew up or the blood that coursed through my veins, i would be her perfect little charity case. people would be like: future president kiramman definitely cares about the poor â just look at the broke angry lesbian sheâs turned into her docile wife!âÂ
you suck in a sharp breath. âfuck that.âÂ
âyeah,â vi laughs sadly. âthe worst part is that she wanted me to be vulnerable with her, so i was, because i thought the more i opened up, the more sheâd love me, but, in the endâŚ.i was too messy. i was too much.âÂ
vi hates the lump that starts to build in her throat, the tears that threaten to spill. she cannot cry in front of you â
you grab her hand. your skin is cool against hers, and it eases her quickening heartbeat.
âyouâre not too much, v.â your voice soothes her like honey, trickling down her throat. âit sucks, though, when they ask you to rip your heart out of your chest and get mad at you for bleeding out in front of them.â
âshit, i never thought of it soâŚviscerally, but thatâs exactly what it feels like.â
âwell youâre not a creative writing major,â you quip. âi know it still hurts â trust me, i know â but your heart was never hers if she treated you that badly. you deserve more.âÂ
is it the alcohol messing with her brain, or does it look like you want to kiss her?
fuck.Â
vi clears her throat. âwhyâre you asking?â
you pull your hand away, take a sip of your drink. âjules broke up with me a few days ago.â
youâre single now. good to know.Â
âwhat happened?â
âi caught her kissing someone at a bar. a boy.â you roll your eyes. âmaybe she just wasnât ready, which is fine, but when we had it out, she told me that what we had isnât what romance is supposed to feel or look like, which sucked. especially after being soâŚ.vulnerable with her.â
âyou offered her that bleeding heart of yours, didnât you?âÂ
you click your tongue, pouring some more soju into each mug. âcourse i did, v. and it didnât mean anything in the end. because relationships suck.â
âiâll drink to that.âÂ
you cheers, keeping eye contact.Â
âand you know what?â you take a big, long gulp. âi know that relationships arenât just about sex, but iâve been having to get myself off for months now and sometimes, i just want someone else to ââ
âtake care of you?â
vi sips her drink, watching you mull over her words.
ânot sure if iâd put it like that,â you decide. âi just miss that excitement. when another person wants to discover what makes you feel good, and wanting to learn how to make them feel good, too. i miss having that connection with someone.âÂ
âiâm guessing you didnât have that with jules, then.âÂ
âha! no. and paulaâŚthe girl i dated beforeâŚ.letâs just say, she didnât give a shit whether i felt good, in any sense.â you shift in your seat; vi senses thereâs a story there, but she doesnât push. âhow about future president kiramman â she take care of you?â
vi canât help but laugh. ânah. i mostly took care of her. she sure liked it when i got down on my knees for her.â
you hum.Â
âlucky her.âÂ
you wink at vi, and she chokes on her drink.Â
i would gladly do it for you, if thatâs something you want.
âis that a genuine offer? because, if youâre joking ââ
shit. did vi say that out loud?Â
viâs heart is beating out of her chest, but she sits up straighter to regain some level of composure. she nods.Â
no use in turning back now.
âiâm serious, wonder woman.â
you stare at her. âi really canât have another relationship thatâs just gonna crash and burn.â
âthatâs not what iâm offering. i care about our - our friendship. i care about you.â
you swallow. âi care about you, too.â
âright, and when our friends need help with somethingâŚ.â
âwe help them,â you finish. âso, youâre really just talking about casual sex. right now, on this couch?â
âyes,â vi answers. maybe a bit too quickly. âif thatâs what you want, too.â
âthatâs what i want,â you reply. maybe a bit too quickly, too. âbut none of this one sided bullshit: you do me, i do you.â
vi takes your mug, puts it next to hers on the floor, and repositions your bodies so that sheâs hovering above you, hips set between yours.
âsounds perfect to me.âÂ
you finally, finally kiss and it feels oddlyâŚfamiliar. you taste like lychees and nicotine and cherries, burnt sweetness, and your skin is so fucking soft.
âwait.â you tug on viâs hair and she has to bite back a moan at how fucked out you already look underneath her, all wide-eyed and desperate. âjust so weâre 100% clear: just sex.â
vi nods once. âno strings attached.â
âitâll be casual.âÂ
âweâre not doing the whole relationship thing.â
âpromise?â
vi sticks out her pinky, grinning at you sheepishly. you roll your eyes ever so slightly, but still wrap your pinky around hers.
âpromise.âÂ
so, you take care of each other. no strings attached.
because thatâs what friends are for, right?Â
âââââ âââ ââââââ
v â˝
are u busy rn? got out of my lab early and im boredÂ
wndr wmn â
yeah, im at work
v â˝ď¸
leave early. im BORED and HORNY
wndr wmn â
ofc you areÂ
v â˝ď¸
pls u love itÂ
u know #6 isnât just my jersey number ;))
iâm implying that i will give u 6 consecutive orgasms
wndr wmn â
yeah i got thatÂ
v â˝ď¸
soâŚ.
wndr wmn â
âŚ.
leaving now
âââââ âââ ââââââ
âyou sure about this, v?âÂ
vi hums, looking up at you through hooded eyes. âisnât it every girlâs dream to get tied up by the lasso of truth, wonder woman?â
youâre straddling her, still wearing your red and gold bodysuit underneath blue shorts that youâve decorated with silver stars. your makeshift lasso of truth â really, just some gold rope â sparkles, tying viâs wrists together to the headboard.
the theme of the womenâs centre halloween celebration is always the same â dress up at your favorite female icon â but youâd never seen someone look as good as vi does. she dressed as trinity from the matrix, all tight, black leather and vinyl, showcasing her defined muscles as the gods intended.
now, sheâs left in a sleeveless cropped top and black boyshorts, with her pants and jacket thrown somewhere on your apartment floor.Â
you have a feeling she really liked your costume, too, because she practically begged you to take control tonight.Â
âif it gets too much, our safeword will be ââ
âsappho.â the slight whine of impatience in her voice sends a jolt right to your core.
âperfect.â
you kiss her lips, her jaw, her neck, your lipstick leaving angry red marks. you lodge your bare thigh in between viâs legs, biting your bottom lip when you feel her already warm and wet, when you hear her whimper as you apply more pressure to where she needs you most. you reach into your nightstand for your vibrator and switch it on, teasing viâs nipples through her shirt.Â
vi moans, deep and loud. not even thirty seconds, and sheâs already pulling at the restraints, the headboard creaking.Â
âare you gonna be a good girl for me, violet?â you coo, inching the vibrator lower and lower, feeling her shake underneath you. âbecause weâve got all night, and you better not break my bed.â
âââââ âââ ââââââ
âhey, so â i found these in between one of the couch cushions, thought maybe they might be yours.â
you can only spare a glance at the item mel is holding up â youâre grading freshman papers, focused on this one studentâs thesis about gender fluidity in shakespeareâs twelfth night.
âoh, those are viâs.â
âhm. and just how is it that you know what her underwear looks like?â
you stop writing mid-sentence and look up at mel whoâs giving you a pointed look.Â
you and vi had been the ones to clean up after feminist film friday last week, and one thing led to anotherâŚ.
in your defense: vi had been wearing these low cut jeans that showed off her v-line, and you could tell she didnât have her usual sports bra on because you could see the outlines of her nipple rings through her tight, white tank top. it took everything in you to wait until people cleared out during the credits of the watermelon woman to pin her down and have her whimpering for you.
âi justâŚguessed.â
âright.â mel rolls her eyes. âso, you and violet areâŚ.what? fucking? dating?â
you clear your throat and take a sip of lukewarm coffee.Â
âweâre keeping it casual,â is all you say.
âare you sure thatâs a good idea?â
you just shrug.
âjust â be careful,â mel, always the diplomatic one, eases. she walks towards you, sits on the edge of the desk, and hands you the pair of black briefs. âi know we all teased you about it before, but i donât want to see you get hurt. iâve seen you get your heart broken one too many times.â
âitâs fine, mel,â you assure her, grabbing the piece of fabric and shoving it at the bottom of your bag. youâre visiting their owner after this, anyways. âvi and i are just friends helping each other out.â
mel raises an eyebrow. âwell, you and i have been friends for years and weâve never gotten that close.â
âthatâs different.â
âhow so?â
âi appreciate your concern,â you say, avoiding the question. âbut itâs fine. nice, actually.âÂ
âitâs your life,â mel sighs. âmaybe donât fuck on our couches anymore, though.âÂ
your cheeks heat up. you turn your attention back to the essay in front of you.
ânoted.â
âââââ âââ ââââââ
vi starts showing up at your place after soccer.Â
sheâs allowed back on the field during games now, so she appears with a winning grin, a grass-stained uniform and fresh bruises on her knees. one time, she had the remnants of a bloody nose after a header gone wrong, and you could taste copper when she pressed her lips against yours before she hopped in the shower.
you keep her go-to body wash stocked â bergamot and cedarwood scented old spice â but she always walks out of the bathroom smelling like your mango-vanilla shower gel. sometimes even your coconut shampoo. she slips on one of your oversized graphic tees, drapes a light purple towel around her shoulders to avoid staining your shirt with her cheaply dyed black hair, fading back to pink with each wash. she walks over to the fridge in her soft gray sweatpants rolled at the ankles and cracks open one of the spiced-pear red bulls as you pull ingredients out for dinner. usually something quick and simple, since itâs always a long week and neither of you have capacity for anything more.
vi chops garlic and tells you about her game; you boil water for pasta and tell her about the latest drama between students in your literature class.Â
you pretend you have all the time in the world.
because you both know that viâs got the strap packed in her gym bag, that soon one thing will lead to another and sheâll be fucking you with it until youâre both sweaty and spent and exhausted in the best way possible.Â
youâve established this routine together, agreed upon several unspoken rules: no pillow talk once itâs over; no actually falling asleep in the otherâs bed; no crossing that thin sapphic line between friendship and romance.Â
no breaking that promise.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
wndr wmn
wanna come over? iâm watching bend it like beckham
v â˝ď¸
MY FAVORITE!!
i would love 2
but lucky fell asleep on meÂ
we just finished devouring an xl pepperoni pizzaÂ
wndr wmn
remind me again why your one-eyed golden retriever likes pizza so much?
v â˝ď¸
come on itâs cute
[v â˝ď¸ sent an attachment]
wndr wmn
yeah, youâre cute
v â˝ď¸
<3Â
come over here instead?
wndr wmn
omw
âââââ âââ ââââââ
vi whines, and you canât help but roll your eyes.
âcome on â hurry up.â
âyou practically begged for this, v,â you chide.Â
âyeah, but youâre taking too long and your hands are fucking freezing.â
âitâs the irony deficiency, babe,â you quip. ânow, are you gonna be a good girl and let me finish?â
âfine,â vi grumbles. she does stop squirming, though. you hum, pleased.
you certainly didnât miss the way her breath hitches at the nickname. viâs right hand, freshly polished, tightens on your thigh.
youâre not sure why she called you at 1:27am for your help with this, or why she couldnât just do it herself, but youâre sitting on her lap, painting her nails the color of pomegranate juice, a color she had chosen from the options you brought.
sure, you were about to turn in for an early night, but the moment you heard her voice through the phone, you rushed over to her place wearing nothing but your pajamas â plaid boxer shorts and a spiderman shirt that vi wore last time she was at yours, and you havenât washed since.
you stretch time out as much as you can, meticulous in every stroke, but painting her nails doesnât take much longer. you start to move off her lap â itâs probably time for you to leave â but vi grabs your hips, a playful smirk on her lips.
oh, right. thatâs the type of relationship â friendship â you and vi agreed upon.
shit. youâre pretty sure that youâre wearing your days of the week underwear. is it a turn-off that youâve got on a saturday pair on a thursday?
it doesnât really matter, anyways.
instead of initiating a kiss, vi takes the bottle of polish from you, swaps it for black, and gestures for your hand. you blink at her, until you realize what sheâs asking.
âoh! you donât have to ââ
âyou do me, i do you.â vi grins at you. âi thought that was our arrangement.âÂ
you laugh, feeling warmth radiate from your chest.
itâs kind ofâŚ.adorable, the furrow of her brow, the way she curses under her breath when a drop of nail polish falls onto your skin. sheâs surprisingly gentle, too, one of her hands holding yours for support while the other paints.Â
while she focuses on getting the polish onto your nails in even layers, you busy yourself by counting viâs freckles.Â
violet rose atlas has a constellation of freckles sparkling across her cheeks. you hope thereâs enough time in the world for you to memorize every single one.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
v â˝ď¸
do u need more nicotine gum?Â
im at cvs rn
wndr wmn
yeah thatâd be great!!
v â˝ď¸
okÂ
iâll get u the cinnamon one
thatâs the one u like right?
wndr wmn
yep!!!
v â˝ď¸
okay cool
im also gonna get u some of those iron supplements
wndr wmn
my hero đđ˝
thank you sm
v â˝ď¸
ofc
âââââ âââ ââââââ
âthat red head was trying to get your number.â
âare you jealous, v?â
vi scoffs, sipping her cherry coke. âof course not. iâm just observant.â
youâd convinced your manager to let vi back into sapphoâs. itâs nice, really, to see her back here again.Â
nice, but different.Â
gone are the days of staring at her from across the room, where she would be charming someone else, and only flirting with you when she came over to get another whiskey for herself and vodka something for her date. instead, she jokes around with mel, sky, and gert if theyâre around, and sometimes brings her teammates in as well to play a game of pool. she usually has one drink, and then switches to something non-alcoholic. sometimes, vi doesnât even come in for a drink; she just stops by to say hi before a team dinner or a study session.
(itâs fine â never once have you gotten an overpriced coffee from the cafe she started working at mid-october, and you probably stop by once a week between errands. thatâs your excuse, anyways.)
so. things are different, but nice.Â
you lean across the sticky counter. âyou want me to get down on my knees for you right now to prove which girl here iâd like to go home with?â
âbabyâŚ.â vi shifts on the bar stool. itâs hard to tell under the dim multicolored lights, but youâre pretty sure sheâs blushing, too.Â
âi think we both know youâd draw a bit too much attention to yourself. especially when i use my tongue to ââ
âmy carâs outside.âÂ
you smirk. âmy breakâs in 15.â
you used to spend your breaks in the alley outside sapphoâs burning through a cigarette. now you find yourself knee-deep in the passenger seat, eating vi out like sheâs the last thing youâll ever taste.Â
âf-fuck,â vi groans.Â
âfeels good, yeah?â you tease her clit with her tongue, sliding two fingers into her easily. you work fast, determined to let her finish before you run out of time.
âso fucking good. iâm gonna ââ
she clenches around your fingers; you lap her up eagerly, let her writhe against your face until sheâs had enough.Â
you sit back on your knees once her hips still, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. you crane your neck to check the time on the dashboard, when you notice something in the footwell.
âvi! i thought i lost this.â
vi grins at you sheepishly, chest still heaving as you hold up the complete works of audre lorde, a tattered book with a well-worn spine and dog-eared pages.Â
âsorry. i meant to put it back on your nightstand once i was finished.â
you open to where sheâs placed a makeshift bookmark â the ticket from an underground sirens of zaun show youâd both gone to. youâve had this copy since freshman year, the scribble of your handwriting in the margins of practically on every page.
âitâs okay,â you tell her. âyou like it so far?â
âyeah.â she grabs the book from you gently, thumbing through the pages. you wonder if vi registers the curves of her own smile, tender and bashful. âhonestly, iâm not usually a fan of poetry, but itâs really cool how lorde writes about desire between women in such a tangible way, you know? i really liked this one verse in ârecreation:â âtouching you, i catch midnight as moon fires set in my throat.â itâs just so - so beautiful, the idea of something so domestic and mundane being almost magical, because thatâs what itâs really like when ââ
you donât even realize that youâre staring until vi looks up at you and freezes.
âsorry,â she clears her throat, closing the book and setting it aside. âdid i say something wrong?â
you assure vi that she did nothing wrong.Â
you exit her car, the taste of her lingering on your tongue, the feeling of her keeping your body warm on this cold november night.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
wndr wmn
hey
are you in town during break?
vâ˝ď¸
having dinner at my dadsâ on friday but otherwise im here
why? u gonna miss me??Â
wndr wmn
lol
im having ppl over for friendsgiving on sunday
if you wanna join
v â˝ď¸
hell yeah
can i bring anything?
wndr wmn
just your pretty face
iâll take care of the rest
turkey, cranberry, sauce, stuffing, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pieâŚ
etc. etc.
v â˝ď¸
damn!!!!
full course meal
wndr wmn
yep
im basically wife material
vâ˝ď¸
pls weâre so over gender norms
but yeah
you are
âââââ âââ ââââââ
vi has never been the type to wait by the phone for a girl to text, or to show up at her place after not hearing from her in a while, worried that she might have done something wrong.Â
yet here she is, standing outside your door.
itâs cool, though. completely platonic behavior.
she knocks.Â
thereâs no answer.Â
she knocks again.
nothing.
vi waits another second, leaning her shoulder against the door.
âitâs me, wonder woman,â she tries.Â
hope flutters in her chest as she hears you shuffle, unchain the lock. vi stumbles as you throw the door open, but she recovers quickly to find you: smudged black eyeliner enhancing the shadows underneath your eyes, hair in disarray, clothes disheveled.Â
âiâm not really in the mood for sex.â
vi canât help but laugh, even though your comment feels like a punch to the face.
âwow. figured you would think more of me by now than just some horny teenage boy.â
âlook, vi ââ
vi?Â
since when do you call her that?
âiâm sorry i missed the meeting today. i texted mel ââ
damn, so your phone does work.Â
youâve just been ignoring her calls and texts.
âbut iâm just⌠itâs not a good time, okay? iâll see you around.â
ah.Â
the classic generic excuse and non-committal statement combo.
you start to close the door on her before she even has a chance to get a word in.
the hits just keep coming.Â
thankfully, viâs always been a good fighter.
âwait.â vi places her palm firmly on the door before you can fully shut her out. âiâm just here to check on you.âÂ
your face remains unchanged.
âokay, well, youâve checked on me.âÂ
âyeah, iâve checked on you. you look like shit.â
you glare at her. âwell iâm sorry i didnât have the time to get all prettied up for you. i know that you like me better that way.â
âthatâs not what i ââ vi inhales sharply. sheâs a fighter, but she doesnât want to fight you. âmel dropped the news â about admin officially cutting our funding. i knew how that would affect you, soâŚ.â vi lifts the bag of takeout. âi brought some thai food for us to share. a pomegranate, too, because i know you like seasonal fruit. itâs been a while and honestly, i justâŚ.i just wanted to spend time with you.â
you exhale, your eyes softening.Â
there.Â
a hesitant smile, an invitation to come inside.
there are clothes all over your floor and dishes piled high in the sink. your desk is littered with empty boxes of cereal and cans of an energy drink that normally youâd never touch. the blanket that sky had crocheted for you â lavender and pink checkered â is unfolded on your couch, your laptop half-closed on the coffee table in front next to two stacks of printed essays â ones marked with purple pen, the others untouched. in contrast, your bed is still perfectly made.Â
you take the blanket and wrap it around your shoulders, sitting at the kitchen table and curling into yourself. vi busies herself in cracking open the pomegranate, putting the seeds into the last clean bowl in your cupboard. the palms of her arm wraps are now stained a reddish-purple, but she doesnât care.
vi manages to find two pairs of clean chopsticks for the thai food, and the two of you eat in silence.Â
âsoâŚ.â vi starts, watching you stab a piece of chicken before popping it into your mouth. âyou wanna talk about it, orâŚ.?â
âwhatâs there to talk about?â
âwell, for starters, maybe tell me whatâs been getting you into full hibernation mode? we havenât seen each other in, like, a week.â
âsix days,â you correct, chewing a mouthful of noodles. âlast tuesday, we played pool during my closing shift at sapphoâs. i lost. you made me down two shots of tequila because youâre a menace and you know i hate it.âÂ
âyeah, but i drove you home and tucked you into bed with water and advil for later, so iâm also a gentleman. so, just tell me whatâs been going on. weâll figure it out, yeah?â
âitâs fine,â you grumble.
âclearly, itâs not. just tell me what you need.â
âwhat i need is to not be distracted,â you huff, avoiding eye contact. âi certainly donât need you ââ
âtaking care of you, i know.â vi grabs your hand from across the table. she feels you stiffen on instinct, and then ease into the heat of her skin. âtrust me, i wouldnât be here if i didnât want to be. so â humor me.â
vi squeezes your hand, hoping to reassure you.Â
you sigh. âiâve just â iâve been spiralling trying to figure out how the centre can keep going with, like, half our required budget, trying to see if we can get some external donors and i still need to finalize the venue and equipment rentals for our last open micâŚ.andâŚ.and my sibling called again to tell me that things havenât been great at home, so i want to go down there this weekend to sort everything out, but my car hasnât been startingâŚ.plus iâm behind on grading, and i told my supervisor iâd have a complete draft ready by thursday and iâm not even halfway done, and thatâs the same day weâre having that art build for the climate rally on friday, and iâve been having the worst cramps since this afternoon, and all i wanna do is pass out and sink into my duvet, but i need to keep going ââ
vi squeezes your hand again, this time more firmly. âyou need to slow down.âÂ
âi canât.â you huff. âi have to keep everything from falling apart, and if i donâtâŚ.â
vi shifts to the chair next to yours, still holding your hand.Â
âbut you canât do it all if youâre too exhausted to take care of yourself. from the looks of it, youâve been living off of frosted flakes, red bull, and zero sleep.âÂ
you shrug. âif thatâs what it takes.â
âif thatâs what it takes, then maybe itâs not worth it.â
âdonât say that,â you tell her. âitâs all worth it. i just wish it wasnât soâŚheavy.â
vi nods, because she really, truly understands. she gives you the advice she can see you giving her in another context.
âyou ever think that maybe it wouldnât feel as heavy if youâŚi donât knowâŚwerenât too stubborn to ask for help.â
âthere are things that are my responsibility, violet,â you tell her, slipping your hand away. you reach for the bowl of pomegranate seeds, meticulously picking up one at a time with your chopsticks and crushing it in between your molars. âi canât just pass those off to someone else.âÂ
âfine. but what about other things? like the womenâs centre stuff â weâre a team, right? so weâll figure it out together, divide the labor so youâre not doing everything. and, maybe ask your supervisor for an extension, too? and, well, i donât really need my car this weekend, so youâre welcome to borrow it.â
you pause, narrowing your eyes at her.Â
âyou saidâŚ. âwe.ââ
âwell, yeah. iâm part of the team, arenât i?â
âbut youâll be finished with your hours in a week. thereâs no reason for you to stay.â
âof course there is,â vi whispers, studying your face as it morphs from suspicious to something else, something gentler.Â
her heart is pounding as she waits for you to say something, so vi starts to dig into the pomegranate seeds, the juice surprisingly more sweet than sour. some dribbles out from the corner of her lips, and you reach over to wipe it away with your thumb.
âiâd love for you to stay,â you hum, smiling, and vi feels her chest glow with a brightness it seems only you can bring out. âturns out you give pretty good advice.â
âsoâŚyouâll consider it.â
you shrug again. âmaybe. i am very tempted to take you up on the car thing.â
âall yours, if you want it.â
âare you sure?â
âitâs fine, wonder woman. iâll just carpool to practice â itâs better for the environment, anyways. canât show up to the climate rally as a hypocrite, can i?â she jokes, and you roll your eyes playfully. âand, iâll try to fix your car while youâre away.â
âwow. you are a gentleman.â
âgentleman? baby, iâm husband material.â
you actually laugh.
âi thought we were over gender norms,â you quip. âbut yeah. you are.âÂ
viâs cheeks heat up at your statement. you most definitely notice her blushing because you break out into a toothy grin
âi missed you, v,â you admit. âany other words of wisdom?â
despite your tender smile, you look exhausted. vi just wants to hold you through it all, tell you itâs gonna be okay. instead, she settles for placing a gentle hand on your cheek, running her thumb over the deep shadow underneath your eye.Â
âget some rest, pretty girl.â
a few hours later, you wake up alone.Â
you have a vague memory of warm arms wrapped around you, a heart beating steadier than yours. your sheets smell like old spice, your apartment smells like fresh laundry. you get out of bed and notice that there are no more dishes in your sink, no more cans or containers on any surface. all the clothes youâd been meaning to wash are now carefully folded on your couch.Â
thereâs a bright pink sticky note on your nightstand next to the keys to viâs car.
you talk in your sleep. something about stargazing? maybe we can go when you get back.Â
drive safe. text me if you need anything.
xxx
- v
âââââ âââ ââââââ
zaun yellowjackets vs. piltover knights.Â
two minutes left in overtime.Â
one goal standing in the way of their trophy. one goal to end piltoverâs monopoly over the title of national champions.Â
caitlyn probably told her knights to be extra aggressive â win by any means necessary â so itâs been a long game of dirty plays and intentional fouls.
vi always puts her heart into every single game, but this time â
this time, itâs personal.Â
zaunâs defense works to regain possession and prevent piltoverâs attack. ashe manages to intercept a pass between two knights, and is quick in dribbling the ball until mid-field. she sends it over to vi with a swift kick. viâs quick on her feet, catching piltoverâs defense by surprise, sprinting closer and closer to the goal. she makes it to the penalty box.
this could be the winning point.Â
vi has it, too. sheâs so fucking close, about to fake out the goalie and kick into that hard-to-defend sweet spot â until a sharp, pointy elbow collides with her ribs so abruptly, it knocks the wind out of her lungs. she stumbles forward over the ball, knees skidding onto the grass. whoever it is also steps on viâs cleat for good measure.Â
âfuck!â she looks up to see who it is.
of course. itâs maddie fucking nolan, who doesnât spare so much as a glance as the ref doles out a red card. she nods at caitlyn as she walks off the field, no doubt following her captainâs orders.
her teammates help vi to her feet, and the ref makes sure everyone is in position for the penalty kick.
this could be the winning point. vi just has to ignore caitlynâs icy stare from a few feet away, and the heart threatening to beat out of her chest.Â
vi takes a deep breath.Â
she looks to the stands. among the crowd of screaming fans, zaunites and pilties alike, is viâs family. theyâre cheering.
youâre there too, sitting next to them.Â
everyone is staring at vi, waiting for the whistle, waiting for her to make the shot, but the only person she stares back at is you.
youâve got this, v, you had whispered to her the night before. she couldnât sleep, so she called you. vi wishes she was back there, now â tangled in flannel sheets, lucky snoring at the foot of the bed, gazing up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to her ceiling until she finally fell asleep in your arms.
but, viâs on the field.Â
and this is the winning point.Â
the whistle blows.Â
she makes the shot.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
âi told you i wasnât a jinx!â powder sticks her tongue out at mylo.
sheâs all sweat and dirt and adrenaline, but, fuck, if vi isnât so, incredibly happy and proud of her team, of everything theyâve been through, everything theyâve accomplished.
it almost doesnât feel real.
just like it doesnât feel real, seeing you talk animatedly with her sisterâs boyfriend, laughing along with her siblings, smiling as you watch her dads hug and praise her.
when itâs your turn to do the same, you practically leap into viâs arms, gushing about how amazing she was, how proud you are of her.Â
âthis looks good on you,â vi hums, as you pull away from another hug. her fingers play with the bottom of the jersey, and she bites the inside of her cheek to ground herself in the moment. you, with her family. you, in her jersey. âthinking of joining the yellowjackets?â
âi think iâll leave the soccer to you,â you tell her. âyou were amazing out there. guess i should be calling you wonder woman from now on, huh?â
âwonder woman! thatâs where i remember you from!â vander suddenly exclaims, stepping closer to the pair of you. silco turns around, too. âyou once tried to get into the last drop with a fake id, didnât you? under the name diana prince?â
âshit,â you laugh nervously, eyes flickering between vander and the ground as if youâre once again a teenager caught in the act. âiâŚ.probably did.â
âi kicked you out, told you to go home to themyscira.â
âyeahâŚiâŚ.i remember that.â you nod slowly, furrowing your brows. âexcept, i didnât want to go home that night, so i lingered outside,â you continue. you turn to vi, and your face softens. âwhich was when you ââ
âbrought two glasses of cherry coke and rum,â vi finishes; she sees flashes of that night as you gaze into her eyes. âwe climbed onto the roof and ââ
that was her first kiss. vi never even realized until now, but â
you were her first kiss.
âi canât believe i forgot that.â
âweird, how memory works,â you agree, tilting your head curiously, looking at vi with a newfound interest, like a ghost from your past.
âwell, isnât this a story weâll be sharing on your wedding day!â vander chuckles, ruffling viâs hair.Â
âdonât pressure them, darling,â silco chides, but the smirk growing on his face gives him away. heâs loving this drama. âtheyâre barely 23 â i doubt theyâve discussed marriage.âÂ
âoh, weâre not ââ
âyeah, weâre just ââ
âfriends,â you say at the same time, careful to avoid eye contact.
vi feels like she might burst into flames at the knowing look vander and silco share.
âwell, violet, would your friend like to join us for a celebratory dinner?â silco asks.
so thatâs how youâre sitting between powder and claggor, listening to them talk your ear off about the young innovatorâs competition. viâs sitting across from you, next to ekko, who occasionally pipes in.Â
youâre here, sharing the tradition of a post-game meal with viâs family at the local pizza parlour.Â
caitlyn never even wanted to meet viâs family.
a few pizzas are ordered for the table, and you eat and laugh and sip your soda along with everyone else. you make a flower out of your paper napkin and hand it to isha, whoâs on the other side of powder, and she gives you a toothy grin in return. you answer all the standard questions about your job and major and plans for the future.
âafter graduation, iâm probably gonna take a break, get some work experience,â you explain. âmaybe save up some money for law school a few years down the road.â
âyou wanna be a lawyer, huh? you sure you wanna be friends with a felon, then?â powder asks, blowing bubbles into her soda through her straw.Â
vi coughs, choking on a mushroom.Â
âpowder!âÂ
âwhat! she never told you?â
you shake your head, glancing over at vi who suddenly finds it hard to look you in the eye. your foot has been pressed against hers underneath the table all night; you pull it away now. she takes a big gulp of water; vi looks over at vander and silco for help, but they seem to be caught up in their own conversation.
âoh, damn! â mylo adds, leaning over. âitâs a great story!âÂ
âguys, maybe donât ââ
âbut itâs a great story!â mylo insists. âshows what a badass you are!â
âshe didnât do anything serious, like murder or anything,â powder clarifies. âit was really just her pissing off some enforcers ââ
ârightfully so,â ekko adds.Â
claggor nods. âwe were just kids. they were harassing us for some bullshit, disruption of property or whatever, so vi steps in and things get heated ââ
âit takes three of enforcers to get her handcuffed, but she manages to get a few nasty hits in before they send her off to stillwater ââ
âshe spends three days there ââ
âi thought it was two ââ
âno, it was three ââ
âneedless to say, this isnât the first time vi has been sentenced to community service, but it seems sheâs really enjoying it this time, thanks to you,â powder finishes, winking at you.Â
âwell thatâsâŚ.quite the story,â you finally say, voice steady.Â
âoh! letâs tell her about the time she stole from some enforcers that were hoarding food ââ
as powder continues the story, and you listen intently, itâs hard to read your expression.
are you ashamed of being friends with her? disgusted by her family, her past? regretful that you ever let her touch you, let her into your life?Â
viâs stomach turns when your eyes collide; sheâs been down this road before, and viâs scared that she knows exactly what youâre thinking.
she pushes her chair back and disappears to the bathroom before she has to watch you walk away.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
thereâs a knock on the door.
âsomeoneâs in here,â vi says. she grips the edge of the counter so hard, her knuckles turn white.Â
deep breaths.Â
this isnât the same as before.
this isnât caitlyn, who threw vi out like a piece of trash when something better came along.Â
then again, you never knew this much about viâs past. youâre well within your right to â
thereâs another knock.
âv? itâs meâŚ.i have to get going, but i wanted to check on you before i leave.â
âokay,â vi clips. she looks up at herself in the mirror; she had splashed her face with cold water to calm herself down. a drop falls from her chin. âbye.â
âare you sure youâre okay?â
âiâm fine. see you around.â
you sigh, and vi hears you settle against the doorframe.Â
âviolet, let me in,â you press. âplease?âÂ
âiâm fine. you can leave.â
âokay, well, iâm not leaving until i see that gorgeous face of yours one more time,â you whisper. âi got all dolled up just for you, and all i wanna do is give you a proper goodbyeâŚ.âÂ
well, when you put it like thatâŚ.
vi grabs some paper towel to dry her face and fixes her hair before opening the door for you. you smile knowingly, enter and lock the door behind you.Â
you lean against the door as vi leans against the counter, the marble digging into her lower back.
âokay, iâll start because, frankly, i donât have time to waste,â you state after a few moments of silence. ânothing iâve learned about you tonight has changed how i see you. itâs just confirmed some things.â
âright. like how impulsive and violent and reckless iâve always been,â she lists glumly, unable to look you in the eye.
âmaybe you are all those things,â you pause. âbut, i donât fucking care. i mean, i do, because itâs part of you and i like who you are. i like you.â
your words do wonders to ease the tension throughout viâs body, and she feels like she can actually take a breath.
viâs eyes lock onto yours.
âyou do?â
âi like who you are, every part of it,â you tell her. âwell, i donât like that youâve had to fight your way through an unbelievably fucked up system ever since you were a kid, but the bottom line is that youâre the strongest, most compassionate person i know.â
vi blinks at you.
âfunny, i was just thinking the same thing about you the other day.â
neither of you say anything for a minute or so, letting the sentiment linger in the small space between you. once more, youâre the one to break the ice.
âwell, you know what they say about great mindsâŚ.â you step closer to vi. you take her chin between your thumb and your index finger. "can you guess what iâm thinking now?"Â
vi shakes her head, throat suddenly very dry.
âiâm thinking that iâve wanted to kiss you all night.â
âwhatâs stopped you?â
you grin. âi didnât want to make a fuss in front of your family, but now that weâre aloneâŚ.â
vi doesn't say anything, but instead closes the gap between your lips.
you kiss her, harsh and messy, tongue and teeth, swallowing her moans as your fingers snake down the waistband of her pants. you pull viâs bottom lip with your teeth before moving to her neck, nipping along the outline of her tattoo. you bite down harder on her skin, right at her pulse point.Â
"whatâs that you said earlier ââ a low groan tumbles from viâs lips when you start to suck just above her collarbones. another when your tongue soothes over the sting. âabout a proper goodbyeâŚ?â she tugs your hair so that youâre looking right at her.Â
itâs quite the sight â your lips swollen, chest heaving, eyes curious and lustful.
âanything you want,â you whisper, all breathless.Â
vi hums. she slips a hand underneath the frayed hem of your denim skirt, and you gasp as her nails scrape against your inner thigh.
she likes that youâre here. here for her.
"get on your knees for me, sweetheart.â
she pulls down her pants along with her briefs, as you kneel before her without hesitation.
you drape one of her legs over your shoulder, giving your tongue better access to her cunt. vi grips your hair tighter, bringing you in closer, and you moan, sending vibrations up her body.
"fuck," vi hisses. you add a finger, while your tongue works her clit.Â
you bring her to the edge, stay with her even as her thighs clench around your skull. she expects you to get back on your feet right away, but you stay, adding another finger and sucking her clit. she moans your name.
you pull away slightly. "one more, pretty girl," you promise. your chin glistens with viâs release; you lick your lips as you gaze up at her through thick eyelashes. "can you do that for me?" she nods furiously, and you get back to work.
after letting her ride your tongue and fingers through another orgasm, you kiss her ankle before releasing her leg. vi pulls you up to your feet, sucks the taste of herself off your tongue.
you pull away slightly, heart racing against viâs chest.Â
vi swipes her thumb over the smudged lipstick below your lip. she studies you, admires you, like youâre a fucking work of art that belongs in a gallery, like you didnât just fucked her through two consecutive orgasms in the bathroom at a pizza parlour while wham's "last christmas" plays through shitty speakers.
"take these off." vi tugs at your tights. you do as instructed, slipping off your underwear as well. she pulls you towards her, and lodges a leg in between yours. your bare cunt brushes against her thigh, back and forth as she guides your hips. "i can't believe you got all dressed upâŚ. wearing my jersey, and this pretty little skirt even though itâs so cold outside. all for me?"
vi flexes her thigh muscles, pushing you down faster and harder. you whimper.
"all â all for you.â
vi feels her pussy clench, with the desperation in your voice, the stickiness of your heat against her skin, the smell of the two of you intertwining. your orgasm crashes into you, and vi holds you through it.Â
you kiss her ever so sweetly before removing yourself from her grasp, smoothing down your skirt and looking around for your underwear.
"where are my...."Â
you look over as vi tucks your fuschia thong into the inner pocket of her jacket.
"i'm guessing you'll buy me replacements for christmas."
vi flashes you a shit eating grin before putting on her own underwear. she then pulls up her pants, not wiping your release from her thigh. she likes the idea of walking around with you seeped into her skin.Â
when vi looks over at you, youâre as fully dressed as you can be and busy checking something on your phone. she only sees a flash of your lock screen, but itâs her. a photo of her and lucky playing at the park; thereâs snow, so it had to have been a few days ago.Â
that doesnât mean anything, right? people use photos of their friends for their wallpaper all the time.
âi really have to go,â you sigh. you pull a tube of lipstick from your pocket and step closer to the mirror. âhey â do you think we could switch shirts? not sure i should wear this to my next dinner.â
vi nods and you remove her jersey, revealing a matching fuschia bralette. she wonders whatâs got you all coordinated â who else youâve clearly dressed up for.Â
âso, youâve got a hot date?â vi tries to act casual as she takes off her jacket, pulls off her shirt, and waits for you to answer. you take your time, fixing yourself in the mirror.
âsomething like that,â you finally say with a shy smile.
later, when ishaâs asleep on powderâs lap in the backseat, vi thinks about how your date might have gone, if youâre taking them home to the same bed vi has fucked you in throughout these past few months.
where do you get off, fucking vi in the bathroom during dinner while her parents are at the table, only to leave for another date, wearing viâs shirt, too?
âhey, can i ask you something?â ekko asks from beside her, cutting off the angry monologue in her head.
vi reaches over to turn down the music.
âsure, little man. whatâs up?â
âwhatâs the deal between you and wonder woman?â
vi clears her throat, gripping the steering wheel. âwhat makes you think thereâs a deal?â
âoh, please, we all noticed that hickey on your neck after she visited you in the bathroom.âÂ
the car crawls to a stop as the light turns red, and vi adjusts the collar of her shirt.
âweâre just friends.â
âwell, powder and i were just friends for ages,â ekko points out.
vi doesnât notice that the lightâs turned green until someone behind her honks. she steps on the gas, but the idiot behind her still cuts in front of her.
âasshole,â she grumbles, throwing them a middle finger for good measure. vi glances to her right at ekko, whoâs scribbling something in his sketchbook despite only the streetlamps outside providing light. âso, what made youâŚ.realize that you wanted something more?â
ekko closes his book, smiling to himself.Â
âhonestly? it was kinda a million little things, but what it really comes down to is that sheâs the only person i could spend every second of my life with, and iâd still want more time. and, in my experienceâŚ.itâs better to tell someone how you feel sooner rather than later.â
âor, some people prefer to wait a few weeks,â powder mumbles, stirring awake. ânice try, mister, but no interfering. iâm not losing 20 bucks.â
âwait â youâve bet on my love life?â
ekko smirks. âso it is love.â
vi shrugs, pretends that she doesnât immediately picture you in your kitchen, making her banana pancakes at 2am when she hears the word love.Â
âit doesnât matter.â
because, it really doesnât matter.Â
youâre out with someone else right now.Â
itâs over before it really had a chance to begin.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
cupcakeÂ
Hey, Vi
Just wanted to say good game today
You played brilliantly
Violet
k
cupcake
No need for the attitude
I was just trying to be nice
Violet
my apologies!!!
thank you SO much for recognizing my talent captain kiramman
i feel like iâm actually worth something now!!!
cupcake
Bitterness isnât a good colour on you, darling
Violet
im NOT your darling
cupcake
Iâm aware
I saw you earlier with that girl
Are you together?Â
Violet
idk
are you still with maddie?
cupcake
Actually, we broke up
I was hoping you and I could chat
Violet
whatâs in it for me?
cupcake
The chance to reconnect with an old friend
âââââ âââ ââââââ
you can excuse vi no longer attending the weekly team meeting. she finished her 100 hours around thanksgiving, so technically she didnât need to be there anymore.
maybe you could excuse her ignoring your calls, or leaving your texts on read. itâs finals season, and she did mention picking up a few extra shifts to save up for christmas presents.Â
but you simply canât excuse vi walking into sapphoâs with caitlyn fucking kiramman, ordering drinks from you like youâre absolute strangers.
âwhat the fuck, vi?â you seethe.Â
vi glances at her date. caitlynâs waiting for her back at a table, the glow of her phone screen illuminating her pretty face.
âwhat, should i have ordered something else? not every girl likes cherry coke and rum.âÂ
you glare at her from across the counter, but start preparing their drinks nonetheless.Â
âwhy are you with her?â you throw some ice in a glass, the cubes clinking aggressively against the crystal. âare you back together?â
vi has the audacity to roll her eyes at you. âwhyâd you care?â
you catch yourself before saying something youâll regret, something about liking her more than you definitely should considering the agreement the two of you had made.Â
clearly, vi doesnât feel the same way; itâs not worth spilling your guts to her at your place of work.Â
âbecause weâre friends.â
âyeah, right,â vi scoffs. âyouâre jealous, which you have no right to be because youâre seeing someone, too.â
you accidentally pour a double shot of vodka. you donât really care, and mix the drink anyways.
âwhat the fuck are you talking about?âÂ
âiâm talking about the date you went on the night of my championship game.â
âwhat date?â you slam the glasses in front of vi, so hard that youâre lucky they didnât break.
âoh, donât play dumb.â vi spits your name like itâs poison. âthis whole thing started because you said you didnât want a relationship, when really you just didnât want a relationship with me. you used me until someone better came along. you lied to me.â
her eyes are glazed over, her voice shaking ever so slightly. youâre not sure if youâre more hurt or angry by what sheâs saying, but it cuts deep; you continue as though you arenât bleeding out in front of her.
âi donât want a relationship with anyone and certainly not with you ââ
âexcuse me! are we able to order something?â someone with bright green hair and a septum piercing waves their hand in front of your face.
âyeah, just give us a second ââ
âlook, you and your girlfriend can fight on your own time.â
âsheâs not my girlfriend!â you and vi snap simultaneously.Â
you glare at each other.
vi grabs the glasses from the counter, and walks away.
âââââ âââ ââââââ
it took many brainstorming sessions, many boring conversations with potential donors, and many, many tears, but you managed to secure enough funding to keep the womenâs centre going for the foreseeable future. Â
it was a team effort, of course, so you just want everyone to enjoy this open mic night, the last event of the semester â even though you are weighed down by the absence of a certain someone.
the gallery space on campus that you rented out is both cozy and electric, decorated with fairy lights on the walls, with pillows and blankets on the floor for people to sit and watch performances. thereâs a table with drinks and snacks, a corner for people to make art if theyâre inspired.Â
youâre rearranging the food, watching gert perform an original song when mel slides in next to you, wearing a gorgeous white dress with gold accents.Â
âdo you mind running to the office? weâre out of paint.â
âreally? people donât usually use the paint.â
âwell, it seems to be quite popular tonight.â
âitâs fine. we still have lots of other stuff. they can just collage or something.â
mel shakes her head. âi really think you should go get more paint.â
âmaybe ask sky? i should stay here ââ
âyou could use a break, too,â mel cuts you off, placing a hand on your shoulder. âyouâve been nonstop all day; the rest of us can hold down the fort for a little while.â
you concede, mostly because sheâs right and you donât have the energy to argue.Â
when you get to the office, youâre surprised to find the lights on. even more surprised that someoneâs already there, sitting on the zebra-striped couch.
âvi?â
she jumps slightly when you say her name.
âmel texted me,â she rushes out like sheâs been caught red-handed. âsaid she needed help with something sheâd been planning.âÂ
you frown, until you realize why mel must have sent you here, specifically.Â
you havenât seen vi since that night at sapphoâs; youâd been quite a mess after your shift, ranting to mel on the phone about how sheâd been right and you should have been more careful, how you donât know what you did that ruined whatever you and vi had, and you really donât know what you can do to fix it.
youâre both too stubborn to reach out to the other, so it seems like mel decided to take matters into her own hands.Â
âyeah, i doubt sheâs coming,â you tell vi.Â
âokay,â vi says, but she doesnât move. âi, uh, i was hoping iâd run into you, though.â
âyeah?â you raise an eyebrow at vi, crossing your arms. âneeded another vodka martini for your piltover princess.â
âsheâs not â weâre not together.â
âoh,â you exhale. the animosity you were holding towards her evaporates, but doesnât completely disappear. you watch her, watching you stand by the doorway.Â
there are so many things you want to tell her, but you donât even know where to start. you know that youâve hurt her. she hurt you, too.
but, also:
you miss the cloudy blue-gray of her eyes, the scar on her upper lip.Â
you miss her.
âdo you wanna come sit?â
after being so far away from vi, for what feels like forever, you donât hesitate to take her up on the offer. your knees brush together as you settle next to her on the couch, a jolt of electricity passing through your body at the contact.
âso, i admit that ââ
âvi, you were right ââ
both of you stop your sentences short, chuckling nervously. you each urge the other to continue, and only get caught in a similar mess:
âi fucked up,â vi blurts out.
âi lied to you,â you confess at the same time.
an awkward, unfamiliar silence hangs above you; youâre not sure what to do next.Â
vi takes the leap. she tells you that mel explained everything: that you had to attend a dinner with alumni and potential donors on the same night of her championship game, but you kept it from vi since it was already a big moment for her; that you havenât been on a real date with anyone else since september. vi apologizes for jumping to conclusions and falling back into caitlynâs arms, shutting you out when she should have just talked to you.
youâre the girl who was her first kiss, she says. the girl who lingered in a vague memory, appeared in the fiction of her daydreams, and then suddenly became too real.Â
âi like you. i really fucking like you. and if it has to be as a friend, thatâs fine because i donât want to lose you.â vi takes a shattered breath, blinking back tears. she fiddles with the ring on her index finger, anxiously bouncing her knee. you place your hand there to steady her, and she exhales. âi guess iâm just not sureâŚ.when you said you liked me that night at the restaurantâŚ.is that what you lied about?âÂ
viâs practically doe-eyed, waiting for you to respond.Â
you shake your head.Â
âi lied when i said that i didnât want a relationship with you,â you admit, and the hint of a smile dances across her lips. âi had this major crush on you, you know? every time you came into sapphoâsâŚ.i couldnât help it. and then you showed up here and we became friends, and then we startedâŚ.well, you know the rest.â
âduh. i was there,â vi jokes, easing into her usual, playful self. Â
âi canât do the whole casual thing,â you continue, rubbing circles into her knee with your thumb. âi know we made a promise, but i just canât, not with you. itâs likeâŚin every other relationship iâve been in, i was trying to run out the clock. with you, though, with us, i feel like thereâs never enough time ââ
vi grabs your neck and crashes her mouth onto yours before you can finish your sentence.Â
youâve kissed each other many times, in many different places, in many different ways, but never like this: like youâre both willing to break one promise if it means forging a new one.
âwill you be my girlfriend, violet rose atlas?â you whisper as you pull away, lips brushing against hers. Â
you start to count the freckles on her cheeks as she beams at you, pulls you into her lap.
âi thought youâd never ask.â
#arcane#vi x reader#vi arcane#vi smut#vi#vi fluff#vi angst#vi league of legends#vi fanfic#lesbian#wlw#wlw fanfic#wlw smut#vi arcane smut#vi arcane x reader#arcane smut#arcane x reader#when i tell you this is all i've been thinking about these past few weeks....#like i want to live in this fic fr#im still not sure about the pacing but#just wanted to post it bc i feel like it's reached that point where i should send it out into the world anyways#i hope y'all like it im kinda nervous#i wanna post a holiday-themed fic soon bc 'tis the season so im gonna work on that now...and hopefully have it done b4 the end of the year#also i read somewhere that 2024 is considered the year of the lesbian so let's go lesbians <33#saf writes
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OM! Eye HCâs part 3 ft; the (tragically) undatable!
Raphael:
I wanted Raphael to appear stern and war torn. I imagine whilst he used to be a healer (just one with a hobby of combat), post celestial war heâs been forced into the role of a guard or soldier. Though I certainly imagine he prefers healing others over combat. I wanted him to look slightly tired. I personally HC Raphael canât sleep naturally, he was intended to be a guardian so heâs inherently restless and forced to constantly watch, especially since heâs a Virtue of Diligence. So instead, when the brothers were in the Celestial Realm, Belphagor would use his magic to put Raphael to sleep and give him a break, which is how he developed his bond with the twins. However since Belphie fell, Raphael is now entirely sleepless, as such his eyes look more unfocused and almost glazed over due to exhaustion.
Mephistopheles:
Okay so, Mephisto is one of my favs so I have a lot to say about him. First the basics, I wanted him to come across posh and snobby, so I made it so he doesnât meet the viewers gaze. I imagine he only makes eye contact and gives his full focus to those he deems worthy (Like Dia and Barb). Now as for the coloured Sclera and glowing eyes. I imagine Mephie isnât actually of the Devildom, but rather the âCrossroadsâ the land in between the three realms. (Not to be confused with Thirteen who comes from OUTSIDE the three realms). Mephisto being from this twisted in-between land his demon form is actually a shapeshifting green mist. Much like the devil, Mephistopheles (the actual demon not in OM!) is described as looking almost entirely human save for few fatal flaws in his disguise. I imagine for Mephisto itâs the same, him struggling to maintain a full human form, due to this having a malformed ankle and limp and when heâs not trying to trick humans he allows his eyes to drop the disguise as to lessen the magic toll on his stamina.
Thirteen:
Note I use She/They Pronouns for Thirteen so keep that in mind. I imagine Thirteen is sort of a reptile human. Due to this they can see in the dark, can keep their eyes open underwater without issue, and has great heat sensing capabilities. (I also imagine she has a slit tongue and sharp teeth but that isnât eye related so-). I picture she has very big eyes with long wispy lashes. I imagine they could easily win a staring comp against anyone (save for Levi and Barb). Also I picture her with a lot of piercings and tattoos, I just imagine she loves decorating her skin and body, being obsessed with body mods of all varieties. Currently her only facial tattoo is a small heart under her eye but she LONGS to get more.
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#om! nightbringer#om! shall we date#obey me shall we date#om! mephistopheles#om! raphael#om! thirteen
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đ Workout Youtubers
I currently do exclusively pilates and yoga workouts from youtube. However, I've done other body weight workouts with various youtube videos and seen results in the past. Here is my list of workout youtubers that you could check out! I will put a * next to my personal favorites! I will include a short list of my current at home workout equipment at the end as well as some items I plan on buying soon!
With any workout program or routine, always be safe, check with your doctor if necessary, and if something doesn't feel good or right, don't do it! No matter what your goals are, it's always important to be safe and stay healthy. Please always take care of yourselves and know how beautiful, worthy and valuable you are no matter what! I love you all <333
𩷠Pilates
Move with Nicole * (also posts occasionally barre and yoga videos as well! I love her videos so so much)
Madeleine Abeid
IsaWelly
Pilatesbodyraven
Lidia Mera
Lottie Murphy
Amanda Blauer
Margaret Elizabeth
Jessica Valant Pilates
Bailey Brown
Dansique Fitness
Flow with Mira
Sivi (she's began posting some pilates inspired workouts and to my knowledge is currently getting certified as an instructor)
𩷠Yoga
Yoga with Adriene *
Yoga with Bird
Boho Beuatiful Yoga
𩷠Bodyweight Fitness/Strength/HIIT
Chloe Ting * (I don't like the click bait, but I like the workouts)
Blogilates
Pamela Reif *
Madfit *
Lilly Sabri * (Some of her videos are titled with pilates, but the older ones I used to do were not pilates, so I categorized her here)
Emi Wong
Shirlyn Kim
Vivian Yuan
April Han
growingannanas
growwithjo * (I love her walking workouts)
Hinafit
Mish Choi
Sami Clarke
Elenifit
Coach Kel (she posts what looks like more barre, ballet, pilates inspored/fusion workouts it seems)
Caroline Girvan
TRAIN WITH GAINSBYBRAINS
Daisy Keech
đ Current At Home Workout Equipment I Own
Thick Yoga Mat - since I do mainly yoga and pilates my thick yoga may (amazon brand) has served me well. Even tho I am a heavier woman at the moment, I've never had pain or any issues with this mat, and it came with a carry strap which I love! A good, thick workout mat is definitely necessary for working out at home for comfort, safety, etc. Make sure to disinfect it on occasion, especially if you sweat on it a lot!
Resistance Bands - I have about 3 or 4 at different resistance strengths, and they're incredibly useful for a variety of movements, especially lower body ones. They add some extra resistance and make the workouts a bit more challenging when you need something more advanced. I also got mine from Amazon/Walmart a while back. I prefer fabric over rubber because I like to wear workout shorts instead of workout leggings.
Pilates Ball - not a necessity, but useful with some pilates workouts and movements. I have seen sole videos using this, but am not advanced enough to try it on my own yet. Will use for sure once I'm more advanced.
3lb dumbbells - I thought these would be useful for the pilates workouts that had some upper body focus, and as someone who wants to develop a lean and toned upper body, they are perfect for low weight high rep, controlled movements. Again, not advanced enough to use as I want to master my form, but they're gonna come in handy for sure!
Foam Roller - so so good for stretching and muscle recovery on rest days. I love mine but want one that has the bump things on it to help my muscles more. I can imagine how good it'll feel on my legs during a recovery day when I begin wieght lifting again.
Massage Gun - my holy grail for the days I am sore and needing some recovery. my body feels like jelly after using this, and it's just so nice for the days my muscles feel extra tight and super sore.
đ Equipment I Want To Buy
Yoga Blocks - these will help me get deeper into the yoga poses once I get more advanced in my practice
Pilates Ring - this honestly looks so fun and challenging to use, I'd love to add it to my collection of useful workout equipment!
Jump Rope - I used to love this as a form of cardio and as long as I don't move into an upstairs apartment, I'm definitely buying one
Pilates Bar - still iffy on this one, it's supposed to mimic a reformer but I want to get better at mat pilates and see if I even end up ever needing or seriously wanting to buy it, its on my list tho
Ankle/Wrist weights - these are gonna be so useful for workouts where hand held dumbbells aren't useful. Want to buy some low weight ones just to help with resistance and extra strength during pilates workouts
Kettlebell weight - I think this would be useful for a workout at home type situation if and when I switch to not doing just pilates and yoga. I know these are useful in their own right, but not needed in my current fitness stage of life.
Core Sliders - these look fun and interesting. They're on my lost for sure, but not sure about the practicality of their use in my life just yet.
That's all that's currently on my at home workout equipment list! As someone who primarily works out at home, the things I currently own are most useful and most of what's on this list is for fun or extra challenge. Just not necessary yet.
hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any questions about my favorite youtuber workout instructors or favorite videos, please feel free to ask, I've tried so many and can give some guidance from my own experience and research.
til next time lovelies đŠˇ
#clean girl#coquette girl#feminine energy#it girl#pink pilates princess#wonyoungism#becoming that girl#pink moodboard#pink blog#pilates aesthetic#pink aesthetic#pilates tips#pink pilates girl#it girl energy#that girl energy#that girl#becoming her#high value woman#clean girl aesthetic#self love#self improvement#self care#college student#student life#health and fitness#wonyoung aesthetic#wonyongism#wonyoung motivation#fitness#fitness aesthetic
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LITTLE SPOON
( Lando is always the big spoon, so you decided to reverse the roles. )
warning : fluff and fluff and fluff
note : lando who says he never tried to be the little spoon in the chicken shop date video gave me this absolutely cute idea đĽš
word count : 1.3k
It was a pretty busy and stressful day for Lando. Free practice on the Australian circuit was very intense. Despite the fact that these tests went rather well, the fact remains that the curly-haired driver had only been waiting for one thing since this morning: to rest with his girlfriend in his arms.
This day exhausted Lando to the point where he couldn't think of anything other than throwing himself on you and cuddling you until you fell asleep, in each other's arms. The only thing he needs now is to see your pretty face and snuggle up to you.
So, while you were lying on the large double bed that reigned in your hotel room, you absentmindedly watched the television hanging on the wall opposite. You stayed almost all day in the paddock, and more particularly in the garage to support your boyfriend. But the fatigue was much more present and Lando encouraged you to rest at the hotel.
You waited patiently for your lover, because you too knew that he desired your presence just as much as you desired his. And in a fairly short space of time, you see your favorite driver suddenly appear in front of you, leaning against the door frame.
He can't help but smile at the sight of you. He missed seeing your pretty face, and your magnificent smile that you currently wear on your lips. You're just adorable and Lando only wants to cover your face with thousands of kisses.
âHey babyâ He approaches the bed, to place a soft kiss on your forehead. âHow did the free practice sessions go?â You ask him curiously, but instead of receiving an answer he places another kiss on your cheek. "I don't want to talk about that. My beautiful girl is here just for me so I want to focus all my attention on her".
He smiles at you like a child, before changing into more comfortable clothes. He then comes back to you again, and without further delay he jumps into bed to take you in his arms. However, you intercept his gesture and step back, leaving him with his arms wide open, empty without the presence of your body.
He frowns, somewhat hurt by your gesture. You give him a comforting smile, before opening your arms too. âNow itâs your turn to be the little spoon.â You nod for him to come and snuggle against your body, but he continues to display a perplexed expression.
"No, I've always been the big spoon. I've never been the little spoon so why should I be now?" He tries to convince you to keep your usual roles, namely you in his arms while he comes to hold you tightly against his chest.
You widen your eyes, surprised. "What? You've never tried to be the little spoon before?" You ask quite surprised. He shakes his head no. "I've always played the role of the big spoon. I prefer it." It's your turn to frown now. "Well it's the perfect time to switch roles. I'm going to be the big spoon and you the little one, okay?"
Lando remains skeptical for a moment, preoccupied with the idea of being the little spoon. He loves having you safe and warm in his arms, being able to hold you a little tighter every minute against him, being able to admire your face as you relax in his embrace. If he becomes the little spoon, he won't be able to do that.
Finally, he shakes his head and leans back, crossing his arms. "No. If I was the little spoon I wouldn't be able to have you in my arms, and I don't like that." You have the impression of seeing him pout and this vision makes you smile stupidly. However, you roll your eyes, exhausted by his perhaps a little too dramatic reactions.
"Baby, if you don't try to be the little spoon you'll never know what it's like to be one. I assure you the feeling is so good, you should really try." You try to make your softest eyes at him to convince him to change his mind. âYou could at least do that for your girlfriend right?â You look at him begging.
He stares at you with narrowed eyes, still somewhat skeptical. But your puppy dog face and your desire to hold him are too much for him. He can't resist his girl's desires, because after all, you're the priority and he can never say no to the person he loves most in the world.
He sighs before letting go. âOkay, I can try being the little spoon.â You jump with joy and excitement as he rolls his eyes exaggeratedly. You lay back down on the mattress and open your arms again, now forcing him to come into your embrace.
He smiles mischievously at you before finally collapsing into your arms, trying to snuggle as close to your body as he can. Your arms come around and hug him tightly against your body, while he nestles his head in the crook of your neck. His curls tickle the skin of your neck, while you let out some giggle.
After finally finding the most comfortable position, you feel your boyfriend relax in your arms, randomly placing a few kisses in the crook of your neck or on your shoulders. You play with his hair, wrapping a few curls around your finger or lightly pulling on it to make it bounce.
He lets out a small groan of pleasure, nestling a little closer against you, as you gently caress his back. You lower your head to admire him. He really seems like a helpless child, who just needs love and comfort. It's just adorable.
You giggle, which makes him raise his head to look into yours with his beautiful gaze. "What ?" He asks, completely lost. You hold back another laugh. "Nothing. You're just really adorable and cute, baby" He blushes violently at your words, as he nuzzles his head against your neck again to hide his pink cheeks. "C'mon, you don't need to hide. You know I like it when you blush"
He groans again before lifting his head to return his gaze to your face. You place a kiss on his cheek, while his eyes narrow, a sign that he is smiling. âSo, do you prefer to be the little spoon or the big spoon ?â You finally ask. He pauses, taking time to think.
"Hmm... The big one. I like feeling you safe and warm in my arms. And what's more, I can admire the beauty of my baby" You raised your eyebrows slightly. âSo you donât like being the little spoon?â "That's not what I said" He said in defense, before diving his head back against your neck.
You end up falling asleep in each other's arms, Lando comfortably ensconced in your embrace as he smiles at the touch of your hand stroking his back and the other coming to play with his hair.
However, what you won't know is that he secretly admits that he loves being the little spoon. To feel your arms around him, to smell your sweet perfume, to feel your gentle caresses and your hands in his hair, to simply feel loved and safe in your arms. He'll never admit it but he loves this feeling more than anything in the world.
So after this day, this change of role, you will find him becoming the little spoon much more often than you thought. He will no longer be able to stop himself from coming to snuggle up against you, from nestling his head in the crook of your neck and leaving hundreds of kisses there, because after all there is no doubt about it : he secretly prefers be the little spoon.
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#ln4 imagine#lando norris fluff
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Younger Years Pt. 3
Part 2
Summary: Damian gets temp de-aged to 6yrs old; cue him asking where his twin is. This is how everyone finds out about Danny's existence Word Count: 1664
The next morning when Damian woke up everyone was much more prepared to deal with his inevitable attack. The restraint on his ankle and Alfred the cat still napping on him helped deal with most of the initall anger that radiated off him though. The goal right now was to convince Damian that he had been de-aged, and all he needed to do was stay with them until the magic wore off.Â
The topic of Danyal would come later, for now they needed to focus on Damian.Â
Everyone had also prepared an item to show Damian to prove to him that they were telling the truth about his current situation. Alfred was first and had brought him a cup of tea the exact way the young boy preferred when he had first joined them at the manor. Duke showed Damian his school yearbook, and had marked which pages had an older Damian in them. Jason rummaged through the art room and pulled out a few old sketchbooks.Â
Those had done well enough to calm the baby assassin down so that Bruce was able to explain the details to the young Damian. Which only served to make him think that instead of this being a test from his grandfather it was actually a scheme to draw him away from his birthright as one of the heirs to the demon head.Â
To help further convince him Tim printed out the first DNA test they had done with Damian; making sure to note that the dates on these canât be altered. Then Dick had showed him photos of him dressed in his Robin costume. What was strange though is that Damian didnât look pridefully at the photos, only confused.Â
Finally it was Bruceâs turn and no one was surprised when it turned out to be a family photo album. It was filled with photos of everyone from the last few years. Pictures of both big and small moments that the family had gone through. What was surprising though is when Damian practically exploded with rage with every page he turned.Â
âChum, is something wro-â Bruce tries to start once he sees how affected the photo album is making him. Only for said book to be launched at his head before he can finish speaking.Â
âGet out!â Damian snarls as his eyes dart to everyone around the room as he repeats his words, âGet out!âÂ
âI told you this wasnât going to work.âÂ
âNot now, Jason.âÂ
Dick makes an obvious move of wanting to comfort Damian, but is clearly holding himself back knowing that his succor would only make things worse. âDamiâŚâÂ
âYou do not have the right to call me that,â Damian's breath starts to speed up with tears threatening to spill from his eyes. âThe only one that will ever be allowed to use that name has apparently been long absent from my life. So I will repeat myself only once more; get out.âÂ
No one makes any move to leave at first and it isnât until Tim clears his throat as well as putting a hand on Bruceâs shoulder does the others finally move. It takes both Duke and Tim to get Bruce out of the room, and Jason ends up having to practically drag Dick out.Â
âWhy did you pull me away from him! He was clearly on the verge of a breakdown based around the fact that Danyal, his twin, never came here with him! Damian needs someone to be with him right now!â Dick angrily breaks out of Jason's hold on him.Â
Jason, immediately matching Dickâs tone retorts, âSince when has that kid ever liked having family much less strangers comfort him? Cause newsflash Dickiebird that what we are to him right now, nothing but strangers who are trying to act way too familiar with him. The only thing your sympathy will do right now is just make things worse!âÂ
âIâm not going to let my currently 6 year old baby brother mourn a death by himself!â
âWe donât actually know if Danyal is dead or not right now. Just that he didnât arrive with Damian at the manor 4 years ago.â Tim interjects before any more arguing between the two can continue. âFor all we know Raâs could have sent one twin away to here while keeping the other involved with the league.âÂ
âWouldnât have Damian said something by now if that was the case? He obviously cared a lot for Danyal.â Duke honestly doesnât know what the right decision is right now, but heâs more inclined to agree with Jason right now.Â
Tim runs a hand through his hair in thought, â14 year old Damian, maybe. The Damian that first arrived at the manor four years ago, no way. Especially if he was told explicitly not to say anything. That little brat was still deep in the league mindset, and would have done anything Talia or Raâs said.â
âWouldnât have Raâs already used Danyal against Bruce though? Heâs had plenty of opportunities to use the knowledge of a second child to get B to do practically anything for him. What possible scenario would he be saving that information for?â Dick at this point seems to have calmed down. Heâs still obviously wanting to be with Damian, but also knows that Jason is right about how his presence wouldnât be appreciated at the moment.Â
Jason instead of offering any answers to Dickâs questions turns to direct his lingering anger at Bruce, âYouâre being awfully fucking quiet right now B, what do you have to say about all this?â
â... I think itâs time to call Talia. I wanted to wait and give Damian the chance to explain himself before doing so, but if the league does still have Danyal we need to start planning his rescue as soon as possible.âÂ
After asking the boys to keep an eye on Damian, and to check in on him every once in a while without distressing him more Bruce headed upstairs towards his office. Once there he silently stares at the phone in his hand.Â
It had been devastating to learn that he had a son, and missed out on so much of his life. Bruce had been angry at Talia, furious even, especially when she had raised Damian to be a child assassin. To learn that she had done this not once but twice shattered him. Even more so when he thinks about how his second son might still be a part of that life when he could have been living here with him instead.Â
The alternative to that thought though, the unfortunate more likely option, is that Danyal is dead.Â
That he had failed yet another child.Â
Bruce presses the number and puts the phone to ear. With each unanswered ring he sees flashes of what could have been if both boys had arrived that day. What was Danyal even like? Was he similar to Damian, or was he the complete opposite?Â
âBeloved, what a pleasant surprise hearing from you.â
âI know about Danyal.â Bruce leans back in his chair with his eyes closed. Today has already been exhausting, and he knows that itâs not going to get any better anytime soon. âWhat happened to him?âÂ
The amount of silence that follows tells him that for maybe the first time he has truly shocked Talia with his words. Eventually though she answered, sorrow clear as day in her voice, âHow much do you know?âÂ
âIâd rather you tell me what you know right now.âÂ
âDanyal died two weeks before Damian was sent to live with you.â
There it was, the hard truth. A child that he was never given the chance to hold, to meet, and to love was dead. Bruce had nothing to hold onto from a child that died way too young.Â
âMy Father and Damian are the only ones that truly know what happened in that room; I didnât even know at the time that he had pulled the two of them from their afternoon studies.â She continues softly, âBy the time I reached them Danyal was gone. I imagine Raâs wanted to make an example out of him because he had put his body into the pits ⌠only he never came back out. The pits had even taken his body with them.âÂ
âDid you never question what happened to him?âÂ
âRaâs told me it was none of my concern when I questioned him, and he forbade Damian from telling me himself. He had all evidence of Danyal erased after that; he only exists now in the memory of those who knew him.âÂ
âWould you have ever told me about him?â
âNo.âÂ
âHm.â Bruce doesnât do anything more than acknowledging her response before hanging up, and putting the phone down. He wasnât going to get any more information out of her, and he had more important things to focus on right than interrogating Talia. It seems theyâre all just going to have to wait for Damian to learn what happened to Danyal anyway.Â
For now though he needs to go back downstairs and make sure they havenât exploded into chaos due to his absence, but as he exits his office he makes a quiet promise to himself and Danyal. âEven in death you will be a part of this family; Iâm so sorry you will never get the chance to know just how much they already love you.âÂ
Once he reaches the batcave once more he sees Tim and Duke at the computer, Jason laid back with his feet on the center table, and Dick leaning by the med bay door. All of them though stop what theyâre doing and look towards him as he enters; waiting for him to tell them what has become of the brother theyâve never met.Â
âDanyal is dead.â It hurts to watch his sons lose what little hope they had that maybe by the end of this their brother would be coming home.Â
#dc x dp#danny phantom#dc x dp crossover#batfam#damian and danny are twins#dc x dp prompt#dcxdpdabbles#danyal al ghul#angst#de-aged damian wayne
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just imagining being in a kpop group, you're that more quiet member, prefering to be in your own and not liking to be the center of attentions at all, it's kinda ironic that you're in a kpop group and doesn't like much attention, but you are there because you love music!
as any other kpop group, you and your members change hair colors to each era, or atleast change for the most important ones. but you don't really like this idea, not wanting to ruin your perfect hair, but your company always insisted on that, so after so much begging, you finally gave in. but it wasn't a big change, you just dyed a small racoon tail at the back of your hair, and after that day, you decided to paint your hair black, because it was harder to take off, so your company had no choice but leave you alone.
one of the group members, Shin Jungwoo, was also your best """friend""", or that was atleast what you called him, because anyone could see the stupid tension between you two and the way you looked at each other. but anyways! he was the complete opposite of you, he loved to be the center of attention, no doubt of why he was the center of the group, always talking a lot at the interviews, wearing eye-catching clothes, and obviously, dying his hair a lot. like seriously, a lot. he loved pastel colors, yellow, blue, purple, and his current one, pink. you two were in totally opposite sides of the color spectrum, and that made you a really good ""duo""!
obviously, with that, the ships would start, matching your doubtful relationship with the golden retriever and black cat dinamic.
jungwoo was always seeing what the fandom posted about him, passing hours on twitter just searching his name. so imagine how angry he was when he saw the fanfics of you two, not because he didn't liked the ship, but because you were always the top! seriously? just because he had pink hair he had to be the bottom? he got really annoyed with that, and got decided that he would prove them wrong.
first, it started simply, pushing you in his lap while they were recording the vlogs, talking about how small you were on his side, or even about the way that you got scared easily with anything and he had to protect you! he did that for some months, but it didn't seem to change anything, making him even more annoyed. you, noticing that he was acting weird, quickly went to ask him if it was everything okay.
â I know that everyone is stressed with the comeback and our schedule, but in the last weeks you seem more than you ever were, are you okay? â you asked him worried, you were best friends, so he could count with you to help him with anything, nobody should pass for stressfull things alone, without saying nothing!
â well, i can't lie right? there were some things that I read of me, of us, that just made me really annoyed... â he said looking at you with serious expression, his eyes staring without a flinch...
â you already know that you don't need to pay attention of what they say, focus on the good things! there are a lot of fans that love you and your work. â you said trying to cheer him.
a smirk appeared at jungwoo's face, and in a blink, you were laying down on the bed while he was on top of you.
â oh, you're right! I don't need to mind of what they say if I know it's not true. but at the same time I just can't stop thinking of what they wrote, can you believe they made a fanfiction of us and made me as the bottom?! this is inadmissible! do you think I look like a bottom?
â uh?... â you felt like a mess, at the same time that you were flustered by the position, you were also really confused, what the fuck he was saying?
â right! it doesn't make any sense, they just say that because they never saw you moaning while you're having a wet dream with me! â he said and immediatly attacked your lips, a desperate kiss.
after that, it was just water down for you. poor your members that had to hear the moans of someone who was being used as jungwoo's stress relief.
notes: I'm really sorry that I specified the reader's hair color, but it was necessary for my text construction lol.
Not revised! Also sorry for any errors english is not my first language!!
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BBB
Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Sergeant!Reader*
18+ only read at your own risk
Word count: 3248
Requested by anon: Hi i love your work..you don't have to do this request if you don't want.. i was kind of was wondering since we haven't heard from Sergeant Nat and reader. If we could hear from them? I was thinking since Nat is always the confident reassured one in that universe like maybe something happens where shes not sure where she stand with reader? Like jealous or maybe reader lets one of her military friends borrow her laptop and they use it to watch porn...and nat finds it and thinks its reader. And nat kind of loses her mind in a way that we havent seen. (Not like crazy but for the first time shes like am i enough). And reader is high key oblivious bc she worships nat. Some communication to sort out and then smutty times. Only if you want. If not i look forward to whatever you post yay.Â
AN: *Reader has a penis, no pronouns used.
Thanks for the idea, anon! This was a lot of fun to write. :)
This is Part 5 in my Sergeant Beef series. Read the first one here.
âHey, can I borrow your laptop?â Sam asks, poking his head into your room.Â
âWhy?â You donât even look at him, focused on you video game on the tiny television mounted to your wall.
âI dropped mine in the lake, so I had to buy a new one but it wonât get shipped off until later this week,â Sam explains.Â
âOkay,â you say, hardly listening to him as you race your little car across the screen to bump the giant soccer ball towards the goal. âItâs in my room on theââ
âI know where it is. Thanks.â Sam whisks in and helps himself.Â
âClose the door on your way out!â you call, just in time to hear the door slam behind him. Turning your whole focus back to your game, your fingers mash the buttons to a triumphant win.
***********************************************************************
A few days later, Natasha is over at your apartment. While the two of you had discussed a thousand times moving in together, you had always stalled or walked around the subject. Natasha wasnât sure if it was because you were nervous what the publicâs perception would be of your relationship, or if you preferred your own private space too much to give it up. Ever since the deployment, you had been more likely to retreat and hide away (even from Natasha) when you were upset or moody. She wondered if it was a side effect of your PTSD, but you never seemed ready for that conversation so she left it alone.
For dinner, you grilled some steaks (setting off the smoke detector in your apartment) while Natasha made a side of mashed potatoes and green beans. Afterwards, you went to take a shower while Natashas lounged around and found a movie on Netflix for the two of you to watch. She sits on the couch, opening your laptop and finding the web browser. She looks up Netflix and then browses through the recommendations on your home page, but none of them pique her interest.
She goes onto Google to search what other people are recommending and wades through a sea of titles and descriptions to find one. Swapping back and forth between tabs, she finds a website with a host of titles and flips back and forth until she finds a movie that is both on the list and currently on Netflix. But in the process, she loses track of the tab and accidentally closes it, silently cursing to herself, before going to check the history to find it again.
But what she finds in the history is not what she had been looking for.
Natasha feels almost scandalized when she sees the words âbig busty blondesâ in your search history, followed by a list of pornsites. While she knew you watched such videos in her absence, she didnât know what genre you were into, and now a deep sinking feeling of insecurity fills her. She was not blonde, nor was she particularly busty after the years of hard workouts had shrank some of her assets a little. You always told her she had the perfect body, but now she wasnât quite sure if she should believe you.
âNat? Did you pick a movie?â You poke your head out of the bathroom. Youâre not wearing a shirt and your wet hair is dripping water down your chest, emphasizing the lines of your muscles. Natasha can see the bullet scar on your ribs from the deployment that almost ended your life. But you walked away with every member of your team alive, and your tale of bravery had become something of a living legend in the community.Â
She knows you could have any woman you wanted. She had seen the way the recruits eyed you and how bold the other brass were with you. Before your promotion to sergeant, you were often overlooked and completely ignored. Natasha, perhaps a little selfishly, always considered herself the catch in your relationship: she was one of a handful of female sergeants with outstanding credentials, and looked great in and out of a uniform. But maybe she thought too highly of herself. You had developed into a very competent sergeant, were extremely good-looking, and had the most lovable personality anyone could ask for.
What if you didnât want her anymore? What if you wanted someone younger, or someone you could start a family with? Natasha hadnât yet disclosed to you her inability to have children, but if the subject ever came up, she knew youâd need no other excuse to walk away.
âNat? Did you pick out a movie?â you ask again.
âYes,â Natasha says. âWe can watch Trolls.â
âOkay. That sounds fun.â Â
You come out in a sweatshirt with matching gray sweatpants and join Natasha on the couch. Instinctively, you put your arm around her shoulder and she snuggles against you, letting you rest your head against hers.
You seem to enjoy the goofy childrenâs movie, laughing out loud at the jokes and cheering when the main characters hug by the end. But Natasha canât focus for a second, still thinking about the search history on your laptop. She didnât even know if it was something she should bring up, but it was already eating her alive to think that she wasnât good enough for you.
Natasha didnât know if she would be able to survive without you. She would have to do everything she could to keep you by her side.
***********************************************************************
âGive me a sec,â Natasha calls, hurriedly slipping her boots on. She checks herself in the mirror one final time before opening her apartment door to see you.
âHi, Natâoh.â Your expression goes flat.
âWhatâs wrong?â Natasha asks, her stomach twisting in knots. Maybe this had been a bad idea.
âYou dyed your hair,â you say, blinking at the short blonde hair she was now sporting.
âYou donât like it?â she asks, her worry growing by the second. She had dropped a significant sum at the salon on base to cut and dye her hair. Perhaps this had been a severe overreaction on her part.Â
âOh. No, um, it looks very nice,â you stutter.Â
Natasha is not convinced in the slightest. Her face flushes red and she bites her lip to stop herself from crying in frustration. âThatâs okay,â she mutters more to herself than you. âWhere are we going again?â she asks, even though she knows every detail of the outing she had planned with you.
âThe gym first, then we can get lunch and go grab groceries,â you list off, seemingly oblivious to her awkwardness.Â
âYes, thatâs right. Okay, letâs go,â she replies sullenly.
***********************************************************************
Natasha isnât sure what else she can do to hold your attention after the hair dying incident. She tries to be extra doting with you, but all of her efforts seem to go completely unnoticed. You only say âthank youâ once when she gets you your favorite chocolate bar from the commissary. The next time the two of you are in bed together, Natasha feels like she has to guide you through all the motions and you fuck her with a concerningly low level of enthusiasm. Natasha is convinced youâve found someone else and just the thought of losing you makes her sick.Â
Sheâs nearly sent over the edge when she finally gets a text from you:
From Y/N: Can you come over tonight? I want to talk
Natasha feels like the rug has been pulled out from under her feet. Sweat breaks out on her forehead and her stomach starts to hurt like she had a bad meal. What if she just didnât go to see you? Would you really still break up with her over text?
Her body seems to have a mind of her own as she responds:
To Y/N: Ok
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âThanks for coming over,â you say, welcoming Natasha into your apartment. She steps in guardedly, wondering if youâre hiding your new girlfriend under the couch. Or maybe sheâs already in your bed. She shuffles down the hallway to subtly peer into your bedroom, which is empty.
âWhat did you want to talk about?â Natasha isnât one to dance around the elephant in the room. Besides, she doesnât want to draw this out any longer than it needs to be.
âOh. UmâŚâ You sound caught off guard. âWell, I was thinking thatââ
âYou want to break up with me.â Natasha canât stop the tears forming in her eyes. She wipes them away, angry at herself for showing such weakness already.
âWhat? What makes you think that?â Your shock is so genuine, Natasha almost wants to believe you.
Natasha hides her face behind her hand. âI saw it on your laptop last week. The kind of porn you were watchingââ
âPorn? I use incognito,â you say. âUnless that doesnât actually hide thingsâŚâ you add in a mumble.
âYour search history said you looked upâŚâ Natasha takes a breath. ââBig busty blondes,ââ she repeats, hating the way the words sound off her tongue.
âWhat?â You sound confused now. âThatâsâŚI donât watch that kind of stuff. Wait, is that why you dyed your hair blonde?â
âNo,â Natasha lies. âBut I saw it on your laptop!â she insists, hastily changing the subject.
You pause for a moment, then start shaking your head with a chuckle. âIâm gonna rip him a new one,â you mutter. Then louder, you explain, âSam borrowed my laptop last week because his was broken. Iâm guessing he used it toâŚyou knowâŚâ Your expression turns into one of disgust, and Natasha matches it.Â
âOh. So, youâre not into big busty blondes?â Natasha is embarrassingly desperate for clarification.
âNo, Iâm not.â You take a step towards her and hold out your hands. âBut I do have a thing for hot redheads who could totally kick my butt.â
âI know,â Natasha says, taking your hands and leaning up to kiss you. Her lips lift into a smile when you return her kiss with more passion than you had all week, wrapping your arms around her and pulling her flush against you. You dig your fingers into her thighs, lightly rolling your hips, and when she feels your hard bulge against her stomach and all of her doubts are cast away immediately. Her face burns in shame when she realizes how quickly she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. You werenât going anywhere. You were totally in love with her and wanted no one else.
âWait, so what did you want to talk about?â Natasha asks, trying to ignore the arousal building in her core as you hump her.
âOh! UmâŚâ Your face reddens, as if youâre so turned on yourself you forgot why you asked her to come. âUhâŚI wanted to ask ifâŚyou would like to move in with me? Or if I could move into your apartment? Or we could find a new place togetherâŚâ
Natasha feels like sheâs gotten whiplash from the subject change. She had come here thinking you were breaking up with her, but instead you actually wanted to move in with her? Just when she had thought it was never going to happen.
âWhy the change?â she asks.
You shrug your massive shoulders. âWe spend so much time together as it is. And I was mostly nervous because you know I have those night terrors a lot, butâŚâ You sigh. âI realized I get them a lot less when I wake up next to you.â Natasha wants to melt in your arms. âAnd it would be really nice if I got to wake up next to you every day. And eat every meal with you. Andââ
Natasha cuts you off with a hard kiss. âYes,â she pants, groping for the tie on your sweatpants and pulling them down. âOf course Iâll move in with you.â
âNat,â you whine when she grabs your cock. She feels it throb in her hand and her arousal spikes. As high as her own sex drive was, there was little else that turned Natasha on more than to see how excited you were for her. She pushes you towards the bedroom and you understand without needing words, obediently sitting down on your bed and pulling you on top of her. You grunt when her weight lands on your thighs and Natasha immediately props herself on her knees; sometimes she forgets about the injury on your right thigh that still causes you pain sometimes.      Â
âSorry baby,â she whispers while leaning in to kiss your cheek. It had been a long and sometimes frustrating journey to get back to the same level of intimacy the two of you shared after the deployment ambush and your recovery. The medicines you were on had drastically affected your mood (and performance) and there were still some positions you could no longer do because of the strain it put on your body. But Natasha had been patient and gentle with you, even when all she wanted to do was fuck you senseless. Over time your strength and stamina had come back, and Natasha was thrilled you could still please her in bed.Â
She leans back and takes her shirt off while you mirror her. Youâre almost back to your weight as before the deployment, but the physical therapy has encouraged you to work out even harder, so you are more muscular and toned than before. Natasha eyes your body hungrily, her hand reaching out to trace the scar on your ribs. While she hates the memory attached to your scar, she can appreciate how much more badass it makes you look.
âNat,â you say, and she breaks out of her thoughts. âIs everything okay?â
âYes.â She pushes you to lie on your back, rolling her clothed lower body against yours. âEverything is very okay.â Her hands skate across your warm skin, squeezing your biceps before resting on your chest, balancing herself as she rocks back and forth. Even though youâre still wearing boxers, Natasha can feel the hardness of your dick pressing against her butt.
âAll ready for me?â she hums, digging her nails lightly into your chest.
âAlways,â you respond, rolling your hips to match her rhythm.Â
âHmm.â Natasha contemplates how she wants you today. You almost never call the shots in bed, but you have no problem with Natasha taking control most of the time. She likes how submissive you are to her and your willingness to please her even at your own expense. But she isnât feeling selfish today and wants you to relax and enjoy too.Â
Her body seems to have a mind of its own as she humps along your abs, eventually pushing her panties to the side so you can feel her heat on your stomach.Â
âNat,â you whine, gripping onto her waist to guide her movements.Â
âJust let me ride you,â she says, lifting off of you for a moment to remove her panties completely, and the two of you moan when she settles back on you. You flex your abs until Natasha swears she could grate cheese on them. She angles her hips back and widens her legs so she can drag her pussy along the ridges of your abs, smearing her wetness everywhere. âFuck, you feel so good, baby,â she moans.
âSo do you,â you say, your hands tightening around her waist.Â
Natasha moves her hips faster, sliding back until she can feel your cock practically poking a hole through your boxers. Sheâs just warming herself (and you) up and doesnât want to rush to the main event. But as she hears your whines and feels the tension in your body, all she wants is for you to flip her over and fuck her until she canât walk. Â
âCan you do exactly what I ask you to?â Natasha pants, the building arousal in her stomach almost painful now.
âYes,â you gasp. âYes, Sergeant. Whatever you want.â
The use of Natashaâs title makes her pussy clench around nothing. Her body aches for you and sheâs done playing around.
âGood. I want you to get on your knees and fuck me,â she demands, abruptly climbing off of you and presenting her backside to you. You scramble to obey, wasting no time lining up your cock with her soaking pussy and pushing in eagerly. Natasha inhales sharply when your length stretches her out, filling her perfectly and reaching places she could never reach with her hand or a toy. When you start moving your hips, she whimpers and moans, gripping handfuls of the bedsheets so you donât slam her into the headboard.
She spasms around you with every stroke, clenching tightly and trying to draw you in as deep as you can go. Natasha loves to hear you moan, knowing she was the cause of them, and more of her slick leaks out around your cock.Â
âFuck, Nat,â you grunt, your thighs slapping against her butt with every thrust. âYou always feel amazing.â
âHarder,â she begs. âI want you to cum when I do.â
âIâll try,â you respond, your breathing ragged as you start to falter in your rhythm.Â
âFuck, youâre in me so deep,â Natasha moans, wishing that despite your already above-average size, you had more to give her. She lets go of the bedsheets and slips her hand down between her legs, rubbing her clit for added stimulation. âDonât you dare stop,â she warns, noticing the way your legs are shaking and your thrusts are losing their power.
âI wonât,â you whimper, and Natasha is not convinced youâll be able to last much longer. Her hand glides back up to her stomach, where she can feel the bulge of your cock through her skin. That alone nearly sends her over the edge, but she has one more request from you.
âBite me,â Natasha pants, motioning to her right trapezius muscle. Normally, she is very against you marking her during sex because she doesnât want to worry about hiding them, but now she is panting at the thought of you finally staking your claim on her.
âBite you?â you say, sounding extremely timid.
âYes!â she growls, not wanting to repeat herself. âIf you donât bite me, I wonât let you cum.â
You moan and tighten your grip on her waist. Natasha feels your cock throbbing inside her, but she knows you wonât finish without her permission. The bed creaks as your weight shifts and she feels your chest press against her back as you lean over her. She hums in anticipation, feeling your breath across the back of her shoulder. Your teeth graze her skin lightly, your hesitancy obvious.Â
âY/N,â she moans, pushing back into you and squeezing your length. âIf you donât fucking bite meââ
Your teeth suddenly clamp down sharply and Natasha keens, gushing around you and not even noticing you finish inside her. White spots of pure pleasure burst behind her eyelids and she feels cum drip down her thighs. It feels like sheâs riding out the high forever, but when she finally unwinds, she feels your weight pressing into her back and a dull stinging in her shoulder. She twists her head to see the clear imprint of your teeth in her skin, the flesh reddening already.
âSorry if that was too hard,â you say softly, as if youâre embarrassed by following her instructions.
âNonsense,â she says, reaching behind her to cup the back of your neck. She pulls your head down against hers and nuzzles against your cheek. âNext time, you can bite me harder.â
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AN:Â Sorry to Sam lol
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#natasha romanoff#black widow#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff imagine#sergeant beef au#natasha romanoff x reader
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REBRANDING YOURSELF
COLLAB WITH THE HOTTIE????!!!!!!! @honeytonedhottie. LMAO NOT US PLANNING THIS IN LIKE DEC THEN RELEASING IN APRIL. I luv you so much ur my fav moot. moots who collab together, stay together. Check out her post on her page too, as usual, she makes the best points so y'all better listen.
Rebranding is a process in which you redefine who you are and how others perceive you. Each journey of rebranding yourself is personal and individual. When you rebrand yourself, you further align yourself with your higher you. This post is a guide to getting started on your journey!
UNDERSTAND YOUR CURRENT SELF.
So, take a step back and think about who you are as an individual right now. What are your values and beliefs? Does your external self reflect your inner self? Are you comfortable in your current environment?
These questions and more will help to see which aspects of your life you may need to redefine. See if thereâs anything that doesnât align with your higher self.Â
After that, pick those aspects that need to be redefined. Why do you want to change this? How has this been impacting you internally/externally? Does this aspect stem from your environment or yourself? See why this aspect needs to be improved.Â
DESIGNING YOUR BRAND
This is more of a fun step! So, using your aspects design how you want that specific thing to look and feel like. Avoid being vague or non-specific. Try to put in as much detail as you can for each aspect.Â
If youâd prefer, you donât have to use âaspectsâ and instead use your life generally. This is your redesign, so do whatever is more comfortable and achievable for you.
ASPECTS
Health
Social life
Career
Hobbies
Family
Finance
Spirituality
Personal development (mindset, goals, improvement)
Self care
Culture
Well-being
Things to include
Achievable goals
How your environment looks like
How your daily life like
How you see yourself
What do you feel after
Why this is alignment within yourself?Â
You can do this any way you want. The one I would recommend for redesigning your life would be a vision board, preferably a physical one. If you donât want to do that, there are still a lot of options such as writing it down into a pretty poster, creating a playlist that will reflect your brand, creating a pretty list, or having sticky notes around your room as reminders.Â
Be creative and detailed with this. You should spend at least an hour if not more trying to redesign your life/aspects.
CREATING GOALS
Goals are so important, especially when we are moving in a different direction than we were before. As weâve got the current status of who we are and what we want to be, creating goals should be easy.Â
Make your goals visible. Put a sticky note on your mirrors, put it as your laptop background, put a reminder on your phone, listen to a playlist that motivates you of your goals or anything else that will constantly remind you of your goals.Â
Other than that, remember that goals have to be achievable, mindful, and flexible.
ESTABLISHING HABITS
Habits are so important to rebrand yourself. Habits make up your identity. The way you act, speak, and do daily, can subconsciously influence you to be someone who isnât in alignment with your higher self.
 As much as itâs important to establish new habits that align with you, you have to root out the habits that are pushing you off track from achieving your goals.Â
The good thing is that you can do both at the same time. Replace those old habits, with brand new ones. For example, when you open your phone first thing in the morning instead of opening up TikTok, get YouTube opened and start a 5-minute meditation to start your day.
However, just because a habit is beneficial for you, it doesnât mean it is in alignment for you. For many people, they prefer to read books as a productive alternative for leisure, however, you may not be able to read a book and focus. In that case, you may want to watch an educational video instead. Youâre still getting the benefits, but just in a different way.Â
STEP FIVE: IMPLEMENTING YOUR BRAND DAILY
Think about all the little details of how this person would act, from morning until night. Embody their actions, words, aura, and vibes. This is when having a visual of your goals is good, so you can see what you need to do.
This includes no longer indulging in things your higher self wouldnât do. Regardless of how much comfort, entertainment, or dopamine something gives you, you have to let it go if it is destroying your mind.Â
I way I recommend implementing your brand daily by creating a daily routine that focuses on a different goal each day of the week. E.g:
Monday - Practicing being mindful (meditation, journaling, connecting with your religion)
Tuesday - Fitness (pilates, weightlifting, hot girl walks)
Wednesday - Socialising (going out to meet new people/connecting with old friends)
Thursday - Productivity (Schoolwork, studying, business, workplace tasks)
Friday - Self-care (taking a slow day however youâd like)
ta-daa!! thanks 4 reading. now go follow @honeytonedhottie đđ
#becoming that girl#prettieinpink#that girl#green juice girl#clean girl#honeytonedhottie#that girl lifestyle#it girl energy#glow up#wonyoungism#that girl energy#that girl routine#it girl tips#it girl#pink pilates princess#pink pilates girl#self improvement#self care#self confidence#self development#self growth#self healing#self love#healing#healing journey#self awareness#gratitude#self reflection#self compassion#growth mindset
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Mhh... had a political post I was about to reblog, had a bunch of comments in the tags on it but... then I realized... much as I kinda want to talk about this I really don't want to talk about it here
There's a reason I tend to avoid current events, and a lot of it is cause I know you're probably hearing about them 24/7
I'd rather let this place mostly be a break, interspersed with my crazed ramblings. I just kinda don't want to talk about stuff I figure people already have heard a lot about (though this blog exists entirely on whim, what I choose to reblog can change second to second)
So I'll change the topic of my post and just say that... man... last time I checked in on Haiti things were real bad there, no one deserves that and... while I don't see what the way forward is to get them back into a better situation I really really really hope for the best for all Haitians
It feels hollow, cause it doesn't do shit, but just a little "I'm pro Haitian and hope... hope the future treats Haiti better than the present is"
#I often find that I'd really rather talk about the stuff that's good and give it the spotlight rather than the bad#it's like how I decided I didnt really feel like talking about the live action remake; so instead I just requeue that post of Sebastian's V#rather focus on what I like with the old one instead of giving air to a lazy money grab#and so here the good I'd rather focus on is Haitians#it's not that you can't figure out what the political post was talking about; but... rather than getting down in the mud#gonna just make the pretty easy statement to make that Haitians are good people; same as the rest of us#all the stuff I ever say about like Iranians; about how they just deserve to be able to live their lives... it applies to everyone#so it's kinda a nothing statement to say Haitians just deserve to be able to live their lives; like no duh#but rather than the rest of stuff; I'd prefer to focus on being pro Haitian#again; most of why is just cause there's a good chance your dash keeps having people toss political stuff on it#so... nah; I'll find the next picture of trees that catches my eyes and share that instead#or whatever; you literally just get whatever I feel like and this rule isn't hard and fast cause I forget it plenty I bet#and what I consider too much of current events and what I don't is all based on my mood more or less#like is saying elon sucks a current event? cause I say it all the time (to be fair he is currently being as useless and destructive as ever
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Controversially Young Girlfriend (part two)
Hugh Jackman x popstar!readerÂ
series masterlist & main masterlist
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men.Â
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns.Â
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. I do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything!! <3
authors note: I truly appreciate every single one of you who has enjoyed this story and has shown it love. I want to have a slow start to things so I hope everyone appreciates a good slow burn lol. enjoy! <3
part two: pathetic
London was absolutely beautiful. Youâd always dreamed of coming here- simply exploring anywhere out of America really. It was so fun being in a foreign place hearing silly accents all day, you loved it. You wanted nothing more than to do a world tour for your debut album but your label decided to play it safe by only touring around North America. Now that you were here, you dreamed bigger and would try your hardest to gain the fan base it took to have a world tour. Traveling was honestly one of the best perks of being famous.Â
famous
It was a word you were still getting used to as it almost felt shallow to refer to yourself as such. Though it was true. You were famous. Having that interaction with Hugh and Ryan yesterday made the reality sink in even more. Two men who had been in the industry for decades knew who you were, it was mind boggling to put it simply. The embarrassment seemed to keep creeping in when you would remember your interaction between the two men yesterday. The yelp of surprise and the quick, but loud, âholy shitâ that was thrown from your mouth involuntarily made you cringe. Hugh asking about Pedro was something you werenât prepared for at all either. It made sense for him to ask, if he was a close friend of Pedroâs then your name being brought up didnât seem like the oddest thing. However, never meeting Hugh before, you wished the conversation could have been different.Â
Ugh stupid hot, tall, older, Australian man that could sing. He was literally everything you found attractive bundled up into one man. You had a brief obsession with The Greatest Showman, as every theater kid did, but your celebrity crush of the movie was Zac Efron. If only freshman you could see current you, sheâd probably laugh.Â
Hugh had been on your mind all night and hadnât left since you woke up this morning. If you could remember, youâd be certain he was the focus of your dreams too. The following and the comment was shocking to say the least. From Ryanâs words, they were fans but why did he follow you after he had met you instead of before. Ha, as you think about it more, it probably wasnât even him. It was more than likely someone who was hired to run his socials, just like the person on your team that posted that photo for you. You were definitely overthinking it allâŚThis morning when you were brushing your teeth, you kept trying to remember the feeling of his big hand on the base of your spine. It was all a bit pathetic.Â
âHellooooâŚearth to y/n.â Ashley, your best friend, says as she snaps her fingers in front of your face. âAre you going to tell me what has you all spaced out or do I have to deal with you moping around this entire trip?â There's a hint of annoyance in her voice.Â
Ashley has been your best friend since middle school. She was always your number one supporter, so in return, you take her almost everywhere with you. Of course you invited her to London and of course she planned an entire itinerary around your busy work schedule. Her company was appreciated but it was impossible to hide your emotions from her, making moments like this difficult.Â
âIâm sorry. Itâs nothing really, it can wait until later.â If the two of you werenât sitting in the middle of a small cafe, you would have told her every single thought that sat in your brain, but you couldnât. You never knew who was listening in on your conversations. That became something you had to get used to, not being able to exist in public. It usually wasnât too bad, for example, you could sit in a cafe with your best friend but sometimes things got out of hand and you couldnât even walk down the street.
âOkay, you better.â She gave you an understanding nod. âSo, I bought us tickets to go on the London Eye at 2pm then I thought we could go grab a late lunch or dinner, whatever you-â Youâre looking at her and nodding trying your best to pay attention but you canât. You hated the way one singular interaction with Hugh had your entire day scrambled. If you ever saw him again, youâd have to tell him off for being so hot and ruining the fun London trip you had planned.Â
â
The wait for the London Eye ended up taking an extra forty five minutes and Ashley was pissed. She was a very schedule oriented person, one minute off and sheâs stressed the fuck out. The entire time we waited, she complained and would have had the king on the phone if you hadn't stopped her. Her mood was unchanged by the time you stepped into your private cart.
âIf I tell you all of my boy drama, would it make you calm down and enjoy the ride?â You ask slyly as you look down at the water below as the wheel starts to move the bubble youâre sitting in higher.Â
She gasps and her eyes go wide.
âBOY DRAMA???â She screams out, her previous negative mood disappearing and her eyes light up with excitement.
You sigh as you gather your thoughts.Â
âWell..itâs not really drama. I may or may not have a teensy crush on someone.âÂ
âOh my god!! Who is it? Have I met them?âÂ
âUh no. I actually just met him-â Sheâs cutting you off before you can finish your sentence.Â
âYOU SLUT!â She yells, pointing an accusing finger at you.Â
âWhat the hell Ash? I didnât even tell yo-âÂ
âItâs Hugh fucking Jackman isnât it? Stacy said she saw the way you looked at him yesterday. Jesus y/n, you donât even know the guy.â Sheâs rambling on, judgment clear in her voice.Â
âSince when are you and Stacy on talking terms?â You purposely ignore everything else she said. Ashley was jealous of Stacy for awhile. When you asked her about it she claimed that Stacy was trying to steal her best friend away. It took a lot of reassurance that the relationship you had with Stacy was work before friendship- and if she had become a good friend along the way, that was something you werenât going to tell Ashley.Â
âWe can be civil when it comes to concerns for you.âÂ
âAnd what concerns are there lately?âÂ
âHuh⌠Stacy let me in on your little conversation yesterday about swearing off men for a little bit but once Hugh stepped through the door, she said that she could tell that idea was out the window.â Sheâs trying her hardest to keep a straight face but there was a slight smirk peeking through.Â
âOh my fucking god, you guys are so dramatic. Yes heâs fine as FUCK but like you said I dont know him. I probably wonât ever see him again.â You sigh at the end. You really wanted to see him again.Â
âWhat even happened that has you wrapped around his finger already?â You donât speak for a moment as you think about how to say your thoughts without feeling dumb.Â
âPlease donât tell me you only have a crush on him because heâs hotâŚYou take your crushes too far for that.â There's a look of panic resting on her face.Â
âHe uhâŚwellâŚyou know how we took the pictures yesterday for BBC?â You ask and she's nodding. âI thought he looked good but I swear I wasnât thinking anything irrational. It was when we had to take those stupid pictures and he rested his hand on my backâŚAsh, I swear there was a spark or something. It felt so⌠I donât knowâŚso.. right?â The cart youâre in is sitting at the top of the wheel and youâre taking advantage of the view while you wait for Ashley to respond. When she doesnât, you turn to look at her. Sheâs staring blankly at you, giving you slow blinks.Â
âWhat?â Your voice is soft, barely above a whisper.Â
âY/n, how old is he?â Her expression is unchanging.Â
âFifty fiveâŚI googled it last night..â You were feeling ashamed of your behavior. You felt like a kid with a stupid school crush. Pathetic.Â
âHm, thatâs your oldest yet. Whatâs next, eighty or ninety five is probably more to your taste huh?â Sheâs making fun of you and it hurts. You know sheâs never approved of your taste in men but you canât really help it. Itâs not like you block out guys your age, they just donât satisfy you. Theyâre mean, boring, and losers. You wanted a real man. Someone who was established in life and could take care of you.Â
âWhatever..â You let out softly. The cart was nearing the bottom once again and you were ready to be free of the room of gossip and judgment.Â
âY/n⌠you know I only want whatâs best for you. I mean look at what happened with Pedro and all the other men before him.â Sheâs sincere and you understand her point of view but you wished she would understand yours as well.Â
âI know Ash. Itâs just a stupid crush anyways.â It was more of a reminder to yourself rather than to Ashley. She was right, you did have a habit of taking your crushes too far. You always had to try to get the guy who held your attention but you were confident in who you were. Most times it worked but a break from dating was what was best for you.Â
â
To apologize for being mean, Ashley was currently on the phone with some poor worker from one of Gordon Ramsayâs restaurants. She already made a reservation for tomorrow night but thought tonight would be better to cheer you up. You tried to reason with her by telling her that there were plenty of great restaurants in London we could get into tonight, but she insisted on having a very touristy dinner tonight instead of tomorrow, like it made any of a difference.Â
âI know the reservation is for tomorrow but miss y/l/n needs it for tonight.â Her voice is strong and unwavering, determined to get a table tonight. Sheâs been throwing your name around left and right hoping that someone would know who you were. It all felt too pretentious for your liking but you couldnât control Ashley when she was like this.Â
You were sprawled across your hotel bed, scrolling through instagram. The voices inside your head were screaming to look at Hughâs page, just a peak. Last night after you saw the comment, you practically threw your phone across the room, too afraid to look at it again. You're honestly thankful for that reaction because who knows how long you would have stayed awake thinking about it and diving into his life. You did make that quick google search to see just how old he was but that was the end of your exploration.Â
Your fingers moved faster than your brain could process, typing his name into the search bar and clicking his profile the second it popped up. You didnât have to scroll far into his account before your heart started to race. You clicked on a mirror selfie he had posted of him in his wolverine costume with sunglasses on. The pose and the caption really showed his age but for your sick brain, it made everything about him even sexier. You cautiously swiped out of that picture to prevent an accidental like. The next picture to catch your attention was one of Hugh in the trunk of a car. Your eyes almost jump out of your face with your tongue rolling onto the ground like the cartoons. The size of his arm was insane. You werenât one to go for muscular men, but Hugh could choke you out with that arm any time he wanted to. His smile was so dreamy. You hadnât seen Deadpool and Wolverine yet, not really having interest before, but now you might have to take a solo trip to the movies. You were cooked.
âThank you, Iâm glad we were able to come to an agreement. Yes tonight at 8pm.â Ashley is hanging up the phone and lets out a high pitched squeal.Â
âHow do you do that?â Youâve always been amazed at her negotiating skills and her ability to get whatever she wants.Â
âNatural talent..also having a famous bestie doesnât hurt.â She giggles and checks the time. Her laughter turns to a gasp. âWe have to get ready, itâs already 6pm!â Sheâs gathering her things and as sheâs rushing out of the door, sheâs telling you that sheâll be back soon to get dolled up together.Â
You had to learn how to style yourself over the past year of being in the limelight. Fashion was something you had been interested in but in Minden, if you dressed too out of the ordinary, people would stare. You shied away from it for longer than necessary and only recently learned how to express yourself freely thanks to your stylist, Kat. For dinner, you picked out a lengthy fitted black dress. It had the prettiest floral pattern that covered it with butterflies popping up here and there. What sold you on the dress though were the two frilly pieces of fabric that hung on either side of the dress. It was stunning and it looked even better on you. You decided on letting your hair sit in its natural state, not caring to put much effort into it.Â
When Ashley came tumbling back into your room, wearing a red fitted dress, the two of you put some music on and got to work. You werenât going for a super complicated makeup look, simply deciding on a small winged eyeliner, mascara, a dark blood red lip stain, and a hint of blush. Layering a few necklaces and adding some hooped earrings, your look was almost complete. All that was left were a pair of black heels that had two strings that you effortlessly swirled around your calf tying it into a cute bow at the top.Â
âYou look smoking hot! Let me take a picture of you.â Ashley whistles and grabs your phone to take a few shots. She was right, you looked good. You decided to post one of the pictures of your instagram story with a small caption that said âdinner time đâ.Â
What you loved about Ashley is that she took your fame with a grain of salt most of the time. When you wanted to take an uber or taxi somewhere, she never complained. You often got tired of taking private cars everywhere, wanting a little normality when you could get it. The uber ride over was a quiet one, both of you too focused on the view outside of your own windows, soaking in the reality of being in Europe.Â
The restaurant was gorgeous. It wasnât over the top fancy with normal everyday people littering the dining area, it was nice. Ashley and yourself were in quiet conversation as you looked over the menu. Feeling adventurous, you asked the waitress what she recommended and you ended up ordering the dish. Sipping on your espresso martini, you took a moment to feel grateful for the life you got to live.Â
âOh you have got to be kidding me.â Ashley is sighing with a slight roll of her eyes.Â
âGood evening y/n.â A voice is approaching behind you before you could question Ashleys sudden annoyance. It was a voice you recognized, hearing it the day before. You turn around to see Hugh standing behind your left shoulder and you stand up to greet him properly. Youâve gotten accustomed to hugging almost everyone you meet nowadays, you lean in without thinking.Â
âOh my god! Hi Hugh.â There's a big grin on your face. It felt like a sign that you were seeing him again.Â
âI donât want to bother you ladies for too long. I recognized your dress and wanted to come say hi. I also wanted to apologize for bringing up Pedro yesterday, it was rude of me to do without even introducing myself first.â He lets out in his gruff voice, accent strong. His arm and yours are still interlocked in a weird side hug type of position.Â
âItâs totally fine, you didnât know.â You look into his eyes with utmost sincerity. âOh uh, this is my best friend Ashley. Ashley, this is Hugh.â He breaks the side hug to reach to shake Ashleyâs hand.Â
âNice to meet you.â Hugh lets out and Ashley responds with a short âyou too.â You give her a look that says âbe niceâ.Â
âWell, Iâll get out of your hair. It was really nice seeing you again sweetheart.â He smiles down at you.
âIt was nice seeing you again as well.âÂ
âHere let me.â Heâs motioning to your chair. You take a seat and he's pushing it forward for you.Â
âThank you.â Looking back at him with a shy smile. He gives your shoulder a squeeze of acknowledgment and heâs walking away.Â
âMaybe the universe does want you with a man old enough to be your grandfather. I mean what are the fucking odds of running into him at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant.â Ashley lets out in total disbelief.Â
You donât say anything, you give a sly shrug instead. The rest of the dinner is tame. The food was delicious and you felt woozy from the martinis youâd been downing. Ashley let you know half way through the dinner that Hugh was sitting not to far from us and that he âhad a fucking staring problemâ, her words exactly. It made you giddy to think he was looking over here and if you begged Ashley to trade seats with you it was no one else's business. She obviously refused and you spent the rest of your time focusing on your friend, with Hugh sitting in the corner of your mind.Â
When you got back to the hotel, you immediately stripped yourself from your heels and dress. Laying in the bed in nothing but your undergarments, you opened instagram and took a look at your story one more time, wanting to see just how good you looked. It was shallow for sure but it made you feel good. You saw the hearts flooding the bottom of the screen and decided to swipe up to see who had liked it. As you scrolled nothing really caught your attention until that name caught your eye again.
âI recognized your dress and wanted to come say hi.âÂ
What the actual fuck.
thank you for reading <3
part three
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#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x popstar!reader#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x female reader#hugh jackman x y/n#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman fic#hugh jackman fandom#CYG#Controversially Young Girlfriend#popstar!reader
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