#but I just can’t stand them anymore
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First love
I hate how much I loved you and how partially I still do.
I hate that you never felt the same way.
I hate that you used my love for you to string me along for months and to treat me like less than what I deserved.
I hate that you made me feel desired for the first time and then you ripped everything away from me.
You made me feel loved and understood for a brief period of time, and then you turned out just like everyone else who hurt me.
You refused to listen, to empathise with me, you refused to see me.
It was always all about you.
When it came the time that it should’ve been about me, suddenly it was too much, suddenly you wanted someone else.
I would never have been enough for you, yet you tried to convince me it was all in my head when I was feeling insecure.
I hate you for what you did to me and for how you treated me. But most of all I hate how you made me love you. How you insisted that I should trust you, that I should love you, only to prove to me a few months later that I shouldn’t have.
You never treated me the way that I deserve to be treated. And you blamed me for it.
I still thought after all this time that if you came by and apologised to me in the correct way and changed your behaviour maybe I would’ve taken you back. Or maybe you could’ve just gained the pleasure to know me once again.
Now I’m not so sure if I’m willing to be so kind to you.
You weren’t to me.
Goodbye.
#trying to move on after almost a year since the breakup#we were together on and off for basically a year and a half#even though officially we dated only for a few months#lmao#I am just so tired of waiting#so so tired#finally unfollowed them#I kinda feel guilty lmao#but I just can’t stand them anymore#I can’t#breakup#heartbreak#writing#vent#relationship trauma#ok to reblog
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[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harm’s way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that it’s interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raph’s tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leo’s are often shown to be ‘for the greater good’ (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raph’s already present acute seperation anxiety and Leo’s immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leo’s actual death still falls into the whole ‘morbidly lighthearted words’ category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think it’s interesting that it’s NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo ‘ruining’ a mission so…bad parallels#in the movie as well there’s a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo just…can’t roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if they’re so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
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save me
#nova knicks#i actually can’t stand them#nova knicks worms are eating my brain i literally#i can’t function#Anymore#WHAT IS IT WITH THESE GUYS THAT THAT HAVE TO PUT THEIR HEADS ON EACH OTHERS CHEST!!!!!!#nba players being gay and in love fork found in kitchen ATP#josh and donte just form a tent over jalen#they need to protect him from The Horrors tm#(tj mcconnell)#🩷
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“Fandom isn’t fun anymore fandom isn’t fun anymore” tbh it just feels like white racist “normies” jumped in as opposed to white racist nerds and for me personally u can feeeel it kinda but it doesn’t change much
#like yeah it’s more homophobic#but if u were a fan of a black character and didn’t stereotype them or have them revolve around a white character#Ur getting the same amount of queer content as u were before it’s whatever#like i don’t feel the need to justify my ships or whatever I got over that when I was in middle school thinking I kinda hated the way y’all#saw bismuth#like this is a very sad day for real white nerds#but for blerds it’s like. there’s 12 of u now instead of 10#like awwww u don’t like when ppl tell u to get over their bigotry :((#u don’t like when ppl say it’s not bigotry it’s just an opinion and ur taking it too serious 🥺#is it annoying when u see ur faves getting called bops or diddy or shoehorned into caretakers roles to continue to prop up the importance#of their white male counterparts ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#how saaaaaad#and it’s very telling it took y’all this long to notice it like#Maybe perhaps deep down ur recognizing there’s so many similarities that u only clocked the behavior when they started going after u?#also complete side note to convo is that for a lot yall fandoms not fun anymore or ppl don’t let ppl have fun#is not a result of cringe culture but a result of more poc and women refusing to let y’all sideline and mischaracterize everyone who’s not#a white man anymore#Like yeah sure it’s shipping for a lot of y’all but for a lot of y’all ur mad u can’t say this girl is getting in the way of ur ship anymore#Ur mad that we’re clocking how ur bigotry irl is shaping fandom spaces and that the small things u just so happen to get wrong are related#that’s about tim stand specifically but u already know#every person who’s written a creepy Ra’s Al ghul fic#and u know what the fuck i mean by creepy#u owe an Arab person $50 and a hand written apology#and if u donated to ao3 keep the apology and send $100
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I AM GIRLS. I SAY I WONT WATCH IT BUT I KNOW I WILL AND YALL WILL ABSOLUTELY CATCH ME BAWLING LIKE A BABY. And I don’t wanna hear anything about it. I will always defend my girl May, she will spend the rest of her life making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chocolate chunk cookies for her baby boy because that’s what he liked to eat after school! Crying over May Castellan always actually…
#may castellan#luke castellan#percy jackon and the olympians#i could lose luke tbh but man i just wanna give May a big ole hug#May deserved better than to go crazy I WILL ALWAYS STAND BY THIS#I’m gonna take all her dishes and trade them for her therapy so she can’t bake or make sandwiches anymore#“Percy Jackson tv show
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genuinely cant stop thinking about stuilly. please someone save me.
#someone pls draw them#just having fun#hanging out#being a lil silly at like#an amusement park#at school#at stu’s house#I DONT CARE#and give them different clothes i can’t stand billy’s white shirt outfit anymore#scream 1996#stu macher#stuilly#scream#billy loomis#stu macher x billy loomis#stuillyshipping
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au where scar is the royal guard assigned to keep prince grian safe as he travels to a neighbouring kingdom for a peace treaty but they get ambushed and have to survive in nature until they can get to civilization <3
#and scar teaches grian how to sword fight to protect himself and maybe he lets grian win a couple times because grian is so beautiful when#he’s happy and scar teaches him how to shoot an arrow so they can hunt for food and grian literally cannot focus because scars arms are#wrapped around him and he’s whispering in grian’s ear and grian reboots when after he lets go of the arrow.. scar drops his hands to grian’#waist…. and grian teaches scar which plants are poisonous vs safe to eat and he loses his train of thought a million times because scar#keeps just looking at his lips and grian just can’t stand it anymore when scar licks his lips… so he interrupts himself and places a kiss#on the corner of scars mouth and scar just kinda pauses and grian thinks maybe he read the situation wrong until scar cups grains face and#brings him back in and it’s so perfect and everything they’ve ever wanted and and and#sorry i’m thinking about them#okay i’ll shut up now <3#actually no i won’t because this is my post. they have to dress each others wounds and they do it far more gently than they need to <3#scarian#desert duo#hermitshipping#grian#gtws#hermitcraft#trafficshipping#au concept#royalty au
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I feel like at this point I’m just following the Batfam tag just to find comics readers arguing in the egregiously OOC posts.
#personal#maybe I’ll join them#i try not to#I’ll argue with people who I think are just plain wrong#but i won’t fight canon vs fanon#anti tim drake#still can’t stand this mf#people will argue to hell and back to justify their characterization of him#and none of it matters because they’re still wrong#I did not read through his 90s run for people to tell me he’s a uwu sad boy#istg sometimes I feel like y’all are just projecting Harry Potter onto Tim because you can’t morally like HP anymore
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Sometimes I wish I had more people interested in my creations, but then I get hit by thoughts like “Imagine the outrage you’d be faced with if your Avatar Suiren AU was more popular. This is the fandom that still cannot ‘forgive’ Korra for SOMETHING THAT WAS DONE TO HER, calling her the worst Avatar for losing the connection to her past lives (which came about because she HAD RAAVA LITERALLY RIPPED OUR OF HER) and acting like that is somehow a worse offence than, say, inaction leading to genocide. The hate you’d get for intentionally making Suiren the last Avatar would be IMMEASURABLE” and go “… actually, I’m glad that for the most part it’s just @katkastrofa and I–”
(Though then again… would it even be an AU by yours truly if it didn’t contain at least one cancellable offence? 😁)
#don’t even try to tell me I’m wrong#also Suiren is even less like Aang than Korra is. she wouldn’t stand a chance in this fandom#everyone knows most people in this fandom can’t handle angry brown girls#and Suiren is honestly on a whole different level#so yeah#I’m glad it’s not a well known thing#but her biggest offence would of course be letting go of Raava#and thus also losing the connection to her past lives and ending the Avatar cycle#her next incarnation will not be the Avatar. they’ll be just a normal EK kid#and that is the biggest crime an Avatar could ever commit#deciding to spare future generations of the burden#the Avatar should not exist. it is too much power and responsibility for one person#and every Avatar we know of was stuck in an endless cycle of fixing their predecessors’ mistakes#nobody deserves that. especially not a child. and the Avatars ARE discovered as children for the most part#even at 16 like Roku Kyoshi and Kuruk is still way too young for having the fate of the world on your shoulders#I’d argue any age is too young#the world can’t depend on one person to solve their problems#the avatar is ultimately human. they make mistakes. they’re biased. they can be corrupted#and not a single generation goes by without at least one world-scale threat. nothing any avatar does is every enough. it’s a thankless job#no era of peace has ever lasted long. that has to be something worked for by the world at large#ending the cycle is the correct move because then the world will not be looking to the Avatar for every issue#and will actually start sorting shit out themselves. that’s my (very correct) view of it. at least#but again. this fandom will not be able to handle that. because they care about a bunch of long dead ghosts more than living characters#I’m sorry but sparing at least one kid of the trauma that comes with being the Avatar makes losing the past lives connection worth it#to me at least. and it’s not like breaking the connection erases them from ever existing like Greater Lord Rukkhadevata. they’re remembered#just can’t be accessed anymore. and that’s okay. they deserve to rest#(forgive me for the Genshin Impact reference it was the only thing I could think of. it was a brief phase I don’t play it anymore)#anyway. idk where this rant/meta just came from. I apparently have A Lot of thoughts about this AU that aren’t limited to Kuviren smut lmao#Avatar Suiren AU#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness
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I’m not rooting for Candace Owens just because she spoke out about israel and Zionists, man.
#fuck that bitch#spent over a decade dancing like a monkey for white people but now she’s trying to low key rebrand because she can’t make money off of#brain dead white people anymore#the funny thing is wp don’t stand on shit like#I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw liberals trying to stand by her side and accept her now#nvm i actually did see some 🤪#like just as long as she says things that they personally believe in then they’re fine despite the antiblackness and other shenanigans lol#it’s crazy#rambling#she’s trying to pull a Stacey dash from what it seems#twitter liberals are lifting her up just because she said that she refuses to spread islamphobic rhetoric but… um#what about all of the shit shes been saying about black people for years 🧍🏾♀️?#wp and nb liberals are so unserious bro#she was an obvious grifter#grifters don’t believe every little thing they say. they just have to say it though#and make it sound as convincing as possible so that gullible people will continue to throw their money at them#just as long as the grifters are reaffirming these stupid people beliefs the money will continue to roll in regardless of how insane they#might sound#as for that nigga Alex jones… yeahhhh. He 100% believes all of that shit 😭
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it’s absolutely insane to me how my twitter timeline i see a tweet talking about the super bowl and then right after a tweet about people were carpet bombed im rafah like… i’m so angry that i genuinely have no words this is the world we live in i guess
#i have no words anymore#i’m just fuel with anger i’ve been waking up every morning#to more bombings more people dying and being slaughtered#there’s no guarantee there will be a ceasefire soon#our governments don’t hold isnotreal accountable#some of them are even financing the genocide#and somehow all some people care abt is a stupid american football game#where it was basically a zionist convention#like i can’t lose hope bc i am not allowed#but yesterday/today was one of those days where i was flabbergasted by how#people have no shame no one has any shame at all#people are dying and no one fucking cares it’s honestly wild to me#but i hope someday when palestine is eventually free#all you have is unmeasurable amounts of shame#bc you didn’t stand with palestinians and you didn’t care#being in the wrong side of history should haunt you forever for all i care#i’m tired#tris.txt
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lmaoooo found out today that my 2 “colleagues” (that’s honestly a too nice of a word for them) complained about me to our boss that apparently i don’t work hard enough and often just sit around doing nothing :)
#can you believe these backstabbing bitches??????#i am absolutely livid#like the audacity these bitches have who the fuck do they think you are???#and now my boss wants me to be more forthcoming towards them like bitch wtf??? why should i be nicer to them or help them knowing that they#talk so poorly about me behind my back????#they’re so full of themselves and act so childish#like they could’ve just come up to me and talked to me about it like adults but nooo they run to the boss lmaoo#no wonder the boss doesn’t care about keeping me if he’s told what a bad worker i apparently am#and i only found out what they said about me from our lead pharmacist at least she was nice enough to tell me the truth#and now i’m crying again goooodddd fuck this job fuck these bitches i don’t deserve this!!!!#like i try so hard and put in so much effort but they really have the audacity to claim i just sit around#well i wonder what they’re gonna do once i quit since they always complain that they already do everything it shouldn’t a problem for them#right?? :)#like this is honestly so crazy to me bc so many people have already quit recently bc the working hours are absolutely horrible and now these#2 are making everything even worse like i already didn’t like going to work there but now i absolutely loathe it#to work with people and act nice with them knowing they they’re spewing such bs about me#and one of them was so nice to me today like how fake can you be?????#at least have the decency so say those things to my face and not talk behind my back like a school girl#fucking cowards!!!!! i really cannot stand them anymore i need to apply for other jobs asap#but i’m so scared that i won’t find anything else#but this job is seriously damaging me both physically and mentally#god please please please let me find a better job where i’m treated with respect please please please#i can’t do this anymore#i hate how much i’ve cried bc of this job and these horrible people already#☁️
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as for the rest of the ep…
Chalynn truthers we won. we fucking won 🍾🍾🍾
Lois trying to talk Ned into making peace w/ Michael and Drew sounds REAL funny knowing that drew and Michael r still planning on pushing him out of ELQ again. fuck those two forever actually, y’all can make peace in hell
speaking of drewfus, I wish I could be glad he’s leaving but it’s not for very long and crew is gonna be annoying abt it I’m sure. this version of drew is such a shell of himself that anytime hes brought up I just feel disgusted 😖
I’m getting tired of Sonny bringing up Carly when talking to nina it just feels WEIRD… I really don’t wanna see a Carson reunion but it’s starting to feel like the pikeman/cyrus bs might end up being the catalyst for one… sonaritas should we be worried. 😟
also Tolly agreeing to use krissy as the surrogate… wasn’t there literally a whole argument against doing this months back that resulted in tolly icing krissy out for several weeks…? once again I must assert this whole surrogate storyline is a load of barnacles
#pentababbles#general hospital#I’m happy abt the proposal :) but I also feel like they kinda did this so they could be married b4 Gregory croaks#still! taking my wins where I can! their scenes today were sweet and I liked it 👍#i know ned has beef w/ nina over the SEC thing but. once he finds out Michael knew and STILL tried to push him out of ELQ#nina should be the least of his worries. since let’s face it drew earned that prison sentence 😅 and it’s not a crime to report a crime!#the bensons r just mad they had to face even the mildest of consequences for their actions tbh#drew goin to Australia tho like. take joss and Carly w/ u I don’t wanna see them again either#have joss spend time w/ her Aussie father or something I just can’t take her anymore#also the fact that he’s leaving for Christmas so Michael doesn’t have to… bro I hate him so much#bro you just got out of PRISON how about you spend time with your DAUGHTER that you PROMISED to be there for you ASSHOLE#and with drew going away… PLEASE I don’t want a Carson retread please please please#like I find crew annoying and meaningless but at least they’re over in their own corner. but I was actually starting to like Sonny#a Carson retread is just gonna make him suck again 😞#cannot stand the surrogate storyline and tolly is nothing to me anymore but w/e I can deal with it.#however if they really are setting up the surrogate arc to be an angst backdrop for kraze… burned-lariat go get them royalty checks I stg 🤣#but yea that’s my thoughts! story feels discombobulated as ever but we soldier on iguess
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alright y’all just reread my post from last. ugh cause matt just said this again and i’m tired
#bb25#i can’t do this anymore#he said other stuff about america losing interest once she got into the real world#and that she likes one night stands and cory doesn’t so good luck with that#i know not everyone in the tag likes them that’s ok it’s just weird how much he brings up their relationship
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The way I had every intention to be productive this weekend and did none of it bc I know I’m in for some shit the minute I walk into that stupid office
#I finished the t-shirt design for HR lady right and she came in twice about it (could’ve been an email truly)#then when she DID said an email she just forgot that we fully did discuss putting the gross 75th anni. Logo on it#so her email was just that#and I did forget to respond to the email- like I skimmed it and then went ‘we talked about this’ but I’m not allowed to be a smart ass over#email anymore because when sales reps were being especially rude and disrespectful to my coworker and I#I’d waste no time to put them in their place#it took two fucking years of complaining for them to not treat us like shit and to give us deadline that aren’t same day/next day#like two years of me forcing my bosses hand to actually stand up for us for him to tell them to back off#I stopped dealing with it#my coworker does now bc I can’t be bothered to argue with assholes anymore#anyway yeah I- I truly do not check my email often so by the time EOD rolled around I wasn’t checking#but I know HR lady will be in my inbox bright and early :/#but on the bright side I’ll have the art room to myself Monday+Tuesday bc my coworker is leaving~~~~~#so I’m gonna try and be productive Monday so I can rest and relax at my desk Tuesday#then pretend I’ve been productive when I meet with my gross awful boss Wednesday morning#ugh#I need a new job bad#I hate this one#it’s fine but god is it boring and not creative at all#I love graphic design I do I really do but when it’s just sign making with pre-made templates it’s soooo fucking boring#So this weekend I just got high and yesterday a lil tipsy to feel a lil crossfade#I truly haven’t done shit bc if I think about Monday I’ll scream#personal
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i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face-
#bpd vent#like he has a very pretty face but it’s haunting me#maybe he’s too pretty#maybe he’s too him#maybe i love him but what if my love is just painted hate#i love his face but i can’t go on like this#i am screaming for help and i’ll never receive it#i wonder if he meant to do it#i feel bad about this like so so so so bad#he’s gone he’s gone he’s gone he’s gone#i just want to be abandoned in the way where i can just get over it#please g-d create abandonment that you can get over because my body cannot anymore#i’m not healthy like this i’m never going to be healthy again#i’m freaking the fuck out#this is not fun at all#this may be the end guys and i don’t mean in a suicide way#fps are horrid i can’t stand loving someone like that#it looks pretty though#it’s excruciating though i can’t take the attachment anymore#fucking men i hate them so much but i love them more than anything#i can’t even begin to explain#what is wrong with me and what is wrong with the men i need to survive#what if i never obsess over anyone again#what if i don’t get to be as much as i used to be#is there anything left to me anymore#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#OH DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR#FUCK THIS#WHAT THE FUCK#AAAAAAQQQAWAA
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