#but I hope it might be useful for you to get questions I can answer better!

[purplesaline]

If you want to learn to communicate better more clearly, and more effectively take notes from the Autistic community.

No that wasn't a typo. Autistic folks are some of the BEST communicators out there. The reason they struggle so much isn't that they're bad at communicating, it's that WE'RE bad at communicating and they lack the ability to bridge that gap. Autistic communication is very assertive, say what you mean, mean what you say. Ask questions to try and understand the core truth of something rather than make assumptions. Be open to changing your opinion and beliefs when enough logic and/or evidence supports the opposing idea. Ask for things you want, don't hint at it and hope someone makes the right assumption. Don't expect people to read your mind and just know something is bothering you.

Allistic communication relies on so many unspoken rules and expectations, and it's even different across the gender binary as well! It's a big part of why men and women so stereotypically struggle to communicate clearly.

Of course this is a generality, not all autistic folks and not all allistic folks etc., etc. and there is purpose to the sort of small talk allistic folks tend to be naturally good at and autistic folks tend to struggle with. When it comes to conflict management teams though having a few autistic folks in the ranks can be incredibly helpful.

The biggest thing we can do to help mitigate conflict in communities though is to let people make the "wrong" choice without judgement. If people are afraid of being judged for their choices they aren't going to come back to the community to ask for help when they realize they made the wrong choice which will just cause them to either leave, or double down and create more conflict. Not to mention very few choices are ever have a objective right and wrong answer. You need to provide as much information as you can so the person can make an informed decision and then you need to trust that the person to make the best choice for their situation (because you don't know all the variables in their life that inform that decision). Sometimes they will make mistakes and as long as you maintain a space free from judgement they're likely to come back and ask for help getting onto the right path. That is how you keep a community of people with different beliefs and ideals together.

Lastly, there are of course behaviours that are unacceptable in any given community. Note that I say behaviours rather than beliefs here. It's an important distinction. I can be in a community with someone who believes that me being gay is a sin long as they behave with respect toward me. Be clear and up front about what behaviours are acceptable in your community and which are inappropriate. It can help here, as well, to avoid being judgemental about these things. One of the phrases I've used a lot when resolving conflict in one of the communities I've created is (paraphrased) "[behaviour in question] isn't acceptable in this space. If this is something that is important for you then this space might not be the right fit for you and you may feel more comfortable in a space where [behaviour] is acceptable. We value the contributions you've made to our community and you're welcome to remain if you refrain from engaging in [behaviour] in our space."

There will be, of course, more extreme ideologies that you'll want to keep out even if those ideologies and beliefs aren't acted on in your community space. Being a Nazi elsewhere and behaving themselves when they're in your community, for instance, isn't the same as someone thinking you're going to go to hell because of your sexuality but has no intentions of speeding up the process. Keep in mind the more ideologies and beliefs on your no compromise list the smaller your community will be. Sometimes a small community isn't an issue but there will be times when you need a larger community in order to achieve your goals so you'll need to look at which of those ideologies you'd be willing to compromise if those goals are important to you.

And I'll leave it there because it's already far longer than I meant it to be.

[rollingeevee]

I gotta ask: do you know when exactly the beasts would bite their respective darlings? Like do they just capture them and then *chomp*? Also do the bites have an immediate effect or do the darlings not figure out what's up with the bite until they first try to run away?

Silly little but:

Darling, after getting bit: Freak!!

Darling, after the bite takes effect: Oh shit, that's why you were being freaky...

Hmm… that’s a good question! I feel it would vary for each Beast.

Shadow Milk and Burning Spice I can see doing it ASAP. They see it, they like it, they want it. That bite is happening as soon as they have their darling in their grasp, first chance they get. They don’t care what their darling thinks.

Eternal Sugar I can see somewhat similar, but I feel she would try to kinda play it off? When she takes her darling, she’ll likely try to ease them into a false sense of security. She’s offering you sweets and wants to nap with you? She can’t be that bad, can she? However, she might grow a bit impatient. When you’re napping together, that’s when she bites.

For Mystic Flour and Silent Salt, I can see them using their bites as a last resort. The two of them aren’t as eager to place down their bites unless another Beast is showing interest in what is theirs. However, as soon as they find you after you escape the first time? That’s when they bite. You got close to getting away. They didn’t like that. They gave you a chance, and you squandered it. Now they’re going to ensure you know exactly where you belong. With them.

Also, side note, I got this ask right before I fell asleep so the notif on my phone showed only the first few words and my tired brain read it as “where” instead of “when” and it got my mind going a lil before I passed out so- you’re getting that too! LMAO

Shadow Milk would place his bite on the neck, right below the ear. Sort of symbolic in a way. While his magic can reach your mind from wherever the bite might be, he likes the thought that it’s there, as if he’s always whispering into your ear.

Mystic Flour would place her bite on your inner wrist. She cares the least about where her bite goes, so long as it is on you. Holding your hand to her lips, placing a gentle kiss, before suddenly jerking your hand, exposing your inner wrist, and sinking her teeth in.

Burning Spice’s bite is right on the neck in full view of everyone. He’s not a subtle guy, probs the most straightforward of the five. He’s loud and proud, and his bite would be the same. Right over your jugular where everyone can see it. There’s no hiding it. In a way, it’s also a powerplay. He could easily tear your throat out if he so desired. But he didn’t. Be grateful, little rabbit~

Eternal Sugar would place her bite on her darling’s chest, right above where your heart is. As stated above, she places it when you’re napping together. She’s draped on top of you, using your chest as her pillow. The moment her patience runs out, she’ll pull your shirt down just enough to expose the area she seeks and bite down.

Silent Salt’s bite is right above the area between your two collarbones below your throat. Centered between your lungs and your vocal cords. While, again, a bite’s placement doesn’t change its effects, they like the symbolism. The thought of stealing your voice, plunging you into silence.

Thank you for sending in an ask! Hope you liked the answer I gave!

[twola]

I’m sorry for asking but I don’t know where else to turn but— do you or anyone else who might see this question have any tips for writing Mary Linton? Especially in a fic where Arthur falls in love with a female oc or a reader. I find it hard to write without either demonizing her or making Arthur look completely uncharacteristically over her. That being said, I have no problem with the fics that dive into their dare I say toxicity of a relationship but I just don’t want to be extreme lol

So I don’t claim to be any kind of expert on this, but I’ll tell you my way of approaching it. There is no right answer on how to approach this; it is all about how you want to approach. That is the joy of fandom. I’m not sure if this will even qualify as tips, but I’ll just extrapolate on my approach.

In my writing canon, Arthur certainly still cares for Mary. Pines for her. After all, she was his first true love. Mary also pines for him, she loves him deeply, but cannot condone his lifestyle, and cannot live within his existence. Frankly, he’s a murderer. A killer, a thief, an outlaw. An overall bad person, even he says so.

That’s why she begs him to run away. If only he can give up being an outlaw, it will work!

But that gets into the toxicity. Is that asking too much because it is that is who Arthur is? Is that asking too much to change? We as the players mostly think so. But we also play AS Arthur. For Mary, someone who was never forced to scrape by, Arthur’s behavior is abhorrent. From her perspective, it shouldn’t be that much to ask of Arthur to stop being a bad person.

Mary has the luxury to ask that of him. She has never had to scrape by for existence. She has never had to resort to criminality to live.

In my writing canon, I think that is the difference. If a female OC is running with the gang because they are an orphan, an outlaw, a widow, an outsider with nothing, that OC doesn’t have the luxury to ask Arthur to change.

Arthur sees and knows that he can never give Mary what she’s asking for. He’s not going to change his ways (in the canon, he is not going to leave the gang, which he loves also).

But over time, there is that OC… she may be there. They may bond. There may be tension. There may be attraction. She doesn’t ask Arthur to change.

Mary’s love, tragically, is conditional. Which I can’t blame her for!

I love you, but you need to change. For you, for me, for us.

Maybe that female OC isn’t asking Arthur to change.

I love you, in just the flawed way that you are.

I actually like Mary Linton. As soon as I finished the game I actually started writing an A/M fic. Their love story is incredibly tragic. They both obviously love each other, but are unwilling to meet on either side of the chasm between them.

So writing Mary, I try not to make her mean, or out of touch, or overly manipulative. I write her as a woman deeply in love with a man who won’t make that final commitment to her. And the asking for help that she does? Very much part of it is to see Arthur again, because again, she is in love. And he loves her too. And always will.

But he has room in his heart to grow. Maybe part of it will belong to his first love. But maybe he will grow to love a woman that does not or cannot ask him to fundamentally change.

I hope that answers your question…? Maybe? Or maybe that is just me rambling.

[eclipsethemagic]

My Gift To You |Bang Chan| |M|

Summary: Chris has everything he ever wanted, a wonderful career, and a beautiful girlfriend who he loves dearly, but he wants to give you more. His virginity. And why not do it during the biggest time of the year?

Paring: idolBangchan! x!female reader

Genre: smut and fluff

sw: oral (m.receiving), slight d/s, subspace, (sub reader ish) unprotected sex, praise kink ( more so Chan), semi rough sex, size kink, daddy kink, squirting

Song of the day: Letters by Jimin + Fingers by ZAYN

w.c: 2,195

[s.masterlist]

A/n: it’s done! This is the last one shot of the series! I hoped you enjoyed it even though it’s not Christmas anymore ( I’m sorry:() I was gonna do a Valentine’s Day one but truth be honest if i don’t even think i would finish it on February 😭. But i seriously enjoyed this, i enjoyed you as the readers and I honestly enjoyed being about to use other idols I never wrote about before and i hope I’ll get to do this again. Thank you again!

Chan looks at you with a smile as you hug the pink teddy bear he got you during the charismas carnival you two are at right now. "Thank you so much channie!" You giggle out to him and plant a kiss on his warm cheeks. Chris and You have been together for about a year, and it has been the most wonderful year being your boyfriend. But being his boyfriend came a price, and you knew that. After all he was the biggest artist right now and the best leader in a kpop group.

Chan tries his hardest to make you happy, even when you told him that anything he does for you was good enough for you. And you always stayed true to your word. "Anything for you princess." He says and you two continue walking. Even with the mask covering his face you could still see the smile that was formed on his lips. "This is great." You say after a while as little kids run past you two. The cold crisp air blows past you, making your hair move just a bit. "Yeah? You think so baby?" He answers you, putting your hand inside his coat pocket as you two walk to his car. "Oh I know so." You smile and Chan smiles back at you and bends down to peck your lips before pulling away from you to open the passenger door. The drive back to his dorm was quiet but it was comfortable, every now and again your boyfriend would put his hand on your bare thigh, his warm hands leaving goosebumps at his wake. For any person Chan's subtle touches would be considered sexual, which was always question by his members, something you never really thought about. When you and Chan first got together it was during when you first came to Korea. Not really knowing the spots and famous places you had to ask someone, anyone where you should go. Chan and Felix just so happened to be walking in the park when you asked them a question, you're Korean a little rusty, only knowing the basics. Thank god those two could speak English otherwise you might have been stuck.

Chan asked for your number first, which at the time you didn't think much of it. You didn't know who he was, never seen or listened to any of his music so he took it as a chance to get to know you. To see the real you, and that you did. When he first told you that he was a virgin truth be honest you laughed. You laughed to the point where tears were in your eyes and Chan, your poor boyfriend, pouted at you, his Australian accent thick as he told you he was telling the truth. How can someone as beautiful as him not have a girlfriend other than you? You were determined to be his first, and his last. After many conversations and some do and don'ts you and Chan both agreed to just do it when he's ready and chan felt like he was ready.

You don't know what happened first, he parked the car in the garage, turned it off and he gave you a look. With his mask off he pushes the seat back just a bit and he rubs his hands down his thighs. The tan pants he wearing makes his thighs bigger than normal. Fuck if he gave you a chance you'll ride them. You give him a smile before taking off your seatbelt, you get up and climb over his lap. You do end up hitting the steering wheel making Chan laugh as you put your lips on his. One peck after another Chan's right hand goes on the back of your neck, pulling you closer. Your lips moving in sync, and fuck your lips on his feels so good. His chapped lips on your soft ones and the sweet flowery perfume fills his brain making it more foggy than normal.

A whimper leaves your lips as you grind down on him, his dick getting harder and harder. His left hand goes to your waist before going down to your ass gripping one cheek and releasing it. "I'm ready." He mumbles in the kiss and you pull away. You stare into his chocolate like eyes, "Are you sure?" Fuck was he sure? He was more than sure, shit a few months ago he wanted to bend you against his kitchen counter because of the little sleeping shorts you had on. If Christopher Bang had a dime for every time you got him hard it'll be 10. So to sum it all up you asking him was he sure made him kind of honestly laugh. "Baby, I haven't been this sure since the day I met you." He chuckles and you giggle when he slaps your ass. With a nod you two get out of the car and go into the elevator.

Once you get into his room Chan finds his lips back on yours, his shirt comes off first and you try your hardest not to rake your nails down his chest, even though you know he would love for you to do that. Chan biggest turn on is him picking out the shape of your nails, the color and all. He even has a picture of you wrapping your fresh manicured nails around his dick.

Yeah, Chris had it down bad.

You get on your knees in front of him, and you go to unbutton his pants before pulling them down. His dick slaps against the bottom of his tone stomach and it makes your mouth water. Chan watches you wrap your cold hand around him and he feels a shiver down his spine and a low moan leaves his mouth and his hips jerk up against your hand. "Please." You hear him whimper and it makes you smile just a bit to know that you're the only person that gets him this hard, to make him submit to you and only you. Your hand start to move up and down, and you open your mouth and put a wet glob of spit on the tip of his dick before rubbing it all the way down his shaft.

Inch by inch you take him down your throat, and inch by inch you hear Chan gasp for air. You place your hands against his bare thighs. As you move your head up and down gagging a little at his size Chan's thigh clenches as you dig your nails into his thigh. "I-Is this okay?" You hear him mumble as he moves his hips up forcing you to gag. You nod and moan around him.

Your throat burns and Chan doesn't make it easy on you as he continues to fuck your throat. Spit drips down your chin and he can feel his high coming. Curses and groans leaves his pretty pink lips and he looks down at you, so beautiful like this. Tear stained cheeks and the little make up you had on your face messed up and runny. "Fuck- baby you look so beautiful like this." You feel his right hand go on the top of your head before dripping your hair and he slams his hips in your mouth. "Shit- I'm going to cum and you're going to take it. Isn't that right baby?" He questions you and you moan around him for an answer. He hums and his lips form into a smirk before moving his hips faster and then after a while you feel warm, salty cum fill your mouth.

Shit. Chan can feel his body levitating, and his soul disappearing when you get up from the floor. You giggle as you see his fucked out face and you put your lips on his, your tongue exploring his mouth. Chan steps out his pants when you pull away from him, "Was that good?" You mumble in the kiss when you two fall in the bed, him on top of you. Chan pulls away from you, looking up into your eyes and he grins. "Good? Baby that was perfect." He says and he watches you sit up a bit to pull off your pink pale dress. You watches as his eyes trail down your body your boobs sitting up perfectly against the black lace bra you had on. Chan would have to admit it as much as he loved your ass that you worked hard for, he loves your boobs. They're so round and big that fits at the pam of his hand.

It was one of your many features he loved about you. He also loved how small you were compared to him. He never really noticed it at first until Felix pointed it out one day at their many late night drink sessions. At first it was just a joke, a silly harmless joke, but then once you where next to him, and begging him to pick you up one day he felt his dick switch in his sweatpants and ever since then he's kinda been fantasizing about you like this. Underneath him, begging him to fuck you so good that you see stars. Truth be told if it was up to Chan he would have been had you been creaming around his dick.

"Fuck." You whimper out when Chan's hot lips suck on your nipples. As he sucks on one you feel his hand trail down your stomach to the waistband of your panties. You open your legs up just a bit so he can slide his hand down to your core. He rubs small circles on your clit over hour underwear making you rock your hips just a bit. He pulls his mouth from your left boob to go to your right one giving it the same treatment. God your pussy was throbbing and you just wanted him inside you. Chan leaves your cunt and brings two fingers to his mouth and sucks on them before taking them out and pull your panties to the side and he slides two fingers in slowly.

A low moan leaves your lips as you grip into Chan's forearms. He moves his fingers at a slow pace. "F-Faster? Please daddy?" Shit. Chan could feel himself grow harder. He nods and goes faster and adds a third finger and your eyes roll in the back of your head. "Y-Yes! Oh fuck! Good job baby." A whimper leaves Chan's throat at the praise and he curls his fingers just a bit to find your g-spot. When he does you see stars and moans leaves your lips. You could feel that familiar feeling at the pit of your stomach. "S-Stop baby I wanna cum around your dick please?"

Your boyfriend nods and pulls his fingers out before slipping in between your legs. His hips slam against yours as he slides in, you're so warm and wet around him that he's losing his mind. He's like a rabbit in heat as he moves his hips, harder and harder, his balls hitting your ass and the sounds that leaves your lips encourages him more. One minute you have your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him deeper and the next your legs are against your chest as Chan's large hands are on the back of your thighs as he slams his hips against yours again. He's hypnotized. Your pussy sucking in dick so well, and you're taking it like a good girl too. Tears falling from your eyes and words leave your lips but he doesn't really understand what you're saying. The word daddy leaves your lips, and you chant it over and over.

You felt so full, his dick filling you up so nicely and you honestly believe that you could cum just like this. And the way the tip of his head hits your sweet spot it sends you over the edge and you cum around him, your body shakes a little and you moan loudly. You see stars as you squirt around him wetting the blanket under you. A groan is heard from Chan as he feels his high coming after yours and he cums after you, one slam after another his hot cum fills your cunt and you whimper.

Chan pulls out slowly, his cum dripping out your soppy hole and he lets your legs down before crawling up to you and pulling you in a kiss, whispering how much of a good girl you was for him. But that's all you remember before passing out. Your body next to his, and he mumbles thank you and I love you before he too, falls asleep next to you. Chan can honestly say that he’s glad he gave you his virginity, because he couldn’t picture giving it to anyone else.

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

"It sounds like this curse is indeed strong to last this long. Though, it's still really crazy it did this to the two." Miwa had her arms crossed seeing the principle remain quiet to sigh.

"It was a shock to everyone here but we are able to get through this week and the next one it should do well for us. It's only till the two weeks are up and they are back to themselves again." Yaga explains with Utahime thinking about it.

"We understand and we'll help with the missions till then. I hope you understand we will be sure they are done. Even with another guess both Sukuna and Kinie are pretty quick in their more dangerous missions?" she asked that Principle Yaga nods.

"I take it...that Sukuna and Kinie will go on missions that are special grade, yeah?"

"Yes."

"Then...if they go out. Does that mean...we have to babysit them?" Todo asked.

"Ehhhh...that's a hard question to answer." Yaga said confusing the kyoto group.

"What do you mean?" MIwa asked.

"Lets just say because the two are babies, Sukuna and Kinie became very very VERY protective of who watches them and....after the last accident that happened they are very picky to who can see them and watch over them." he said shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" Todo asked.

"Oh yeah! It's when Kisho and the others or some of this accidentally lost the two thinking they got off of school grounds. Sukuna and Kinie was close to destroying the school because of that." Gojo said smiling that some pales thinking that.

"They almost did what!?" Miwa asked.

"And that's why they are very picky to who watches them so...you might not have to babysit them....because of that. Maybe."

"Sadly right now, we don't have a cure for the curse they are under. Besides, it's too dangerous to remove it and let it just run it's course." Nanami sighed looking to the now confused group.

"I take it this curse on them is very powerful?" Utahime sighed to look at him along with principle Yaga who was quiet all this time.

"You could say that. It's too dangerous to remove it because if we tried it would either hurt or kill both Taz and Yuji."

[auraisereigh]

"Peace in the quiet"

chapter twelve

Brennan Sorrengail x Riorson reader Blurb: Brennan and Star go out together to get to know each other better. wc: 8.6 ☆ SPOILERS FOR THE EMPYREAN SERIES. sweet and very fluffy, maybe some doubt? Uses pronouns: she/her. i use Star as a nickname as y/n sounds weird, and i'm awful with names.

Masterlist ☆ Dragon guide ☆ Star's story ☆ Empyrean guide ☆ Support me

Just as Brennan promised, Friday night he knocks on my door. I hadn't heard from him all day and no meals had been delivered to my room or dad's office.

I open the door to reveal Brennan, standing in the doorway. Just like me, he didn't put much effort in his looks, good, it's not a date. Not by a long shot. But his hair looks slightly less disheveled and he looks more awake.

"Hey." He says casually. I give him a hello of my own and he steps aside to make room for me to walk out of the door. "You ready?" He asks, his voice hopeful and nervous. I give him a small nod. Ever since the conversation I had with my brother I've been thinking about this, how this night is gonna go. I wrote a few questions down on a paper, the things I need to know to make an opinion on him, that piece of paper is tucked in the jacket I'm wearing.

He smiles ever so soft. "Good, I have a place in mind we could go to. It's not that far." He explains as we walk out of the family quarters and down the marble staircase to the main entrance.

We stay quiet on the way to the spot he chose. It's an open field that borders the forest, this field used to be a landing space for the dragon riders that sided with my dad, this was a safe place for them to land and not to harm anyone while doing so.

He leads me to the forest line, to a remarkably bigger tree than the rest of the trees. We both sit down there, I keep my space as I sit a little farther from him. The sun casts a golden glow across the field as it dips below the horizon.

Am I supposed to say something? Or does he start? I can't just take my paper out and ask him my questions, can I?

"Thank you for agreeing." His soft voice breaks the silence. "I know you've been busy." He continues.

"I'm busy in the mornings. After dinner I'm free." I say, trying to slowly open up to him. Yeah, I'm not doing great at that.

"How are the meetings going? If you can tell me of course, I get that there is confidential information." He asks, his voice curious but not pushy, just calm, the opposite of me. I gather my thoughts and speak. "They're going okay. Uuhm... There's not much to say really." I struggle to from words. He gives me an understanding smile. "That's fine." He gives the simple answer. "You're not much of a talker, are you?" He asks softly, amused. How does this man look right through me? "Not really, no. Except to my family I usually keep to myself." See that was opening up, even if just a little.

He nods slowly, he knows nothing is left of that family. "How's your brother? Is he doing okay?" My heart clenches at the thought of my brother. "Yeah, he's doing okay. He goes to the healers daily for the... On his back." I wince at myself, I can't even get the words out, every word that triggers something gets blocked by my brain. "He's adjusting well and he still talks to Liam which is good. I kind of expected him to distance himself from everyone." I keep talking, as if I'm talking to myself.

"That's good. The social contact will help him and I'm sure he'll heal in no time." He offers. He places the bag he took with him between us and takes out a small pack of biscuits, displaying them for me. Gesturing for me to eat them.

An olive branch.

I take one of the biscuits and take a bite, I usually forget how good these taste. "Can I ask a question now?" I say, hoping he'll say yes. And to my luck, he nods as he leans back on his arms.

From all the questions I might just pick the most useless one. "A few days ago I dropped some books off at your room. I had thought, since you seemed to like journaling and writing that you would like books. But you seemed disappointed? Uninterested." It's such a small thing but I wanna know. It just feels as if it has more meaning to it than just simple distaste.

"I was interested." He sighs. "I'm sorry I let you feel as if I didn't appreciate it. I did appreciate it. It's just... My dad is a scribe." I tilt my head up at that. A thought from more than a month ago coming back up.

Like he's the son of a scribe, not a rider.

"He taught me and my sisters many things. But most of all, it's why I love books so much. I appreciated that you brought books it just felt..." He trails off. "Wrong for you to have or read books without him." I finish for him.

He nods with a sad smile. "What do you like to read?" My voice Is soft as I ask the question. He tilts his face at me, a grin appearing. "That's two questions." He counters. "Look at you asking questions, the introvert asking questions." He mocks dramatic as if he's so surprised and I can't help but chuckle at it.

He stops his own laugh when he hears my chuckle. I look at him with a confused face. "What?" I ask. "Nothing, just, I haven't heard you laugh before." He says softly. "I was starting to think you're just one of these serious people that never laugh." He continues joking.

"You didn't answer." I state as I look away, towards the green grass field that's being kissed by the setting sun, the golden glow as beautiful as a sunflower.

"Folklore. History. Languages are interesting too. My dad taught me Tyrrish, I know a bit of Krovlish. I read a lot on poisons too, I'm pretty good at it." He explains and I have to admit it does sound interesting. "So you're good at killing people with poison?" I ask with a raised brow, amused.

He laughs and turns his head back towards me. "That piques your interest, huh?" I shrug with a smile. "Now I know why Naolin used to refer to you as a murderous little creature." He say amused, a smile on his face, both our faces. Both in memory of Naolin.

"How did you meet him?" I ask absentmindedly as I watch the sun set.

"Basgiath. He was in my squad at the riders quadrant. I didn't talk or interact much the first few months. As you know, I'm the general's son and people would suspect I would get better treatment for that, I wanted to prove that I don't and that I didn't need it. One day, when I was working on my fighting, he approached me, offered to help me work on a technique and every since he just stayed around. We got along and he was my first friend there, the first one who didn't treat me as the generals son, someone who looked past that. I suppose we got lucky when we graduated, placed in the same outpost." He explains and I can't help but feel as if history is repeating. Naolin was a caring person, he never wanted anyone to be alone.

I feel my eyes water. He reaches his hand out to my arm, carefully touching it. Like he's asking permissions to touch me. I sniff a little and I see him move out of the corner of my eye.

He moves his bag and the biscuits out of the way and sits next to me, enveloping me in his arms as he holds me close. "It's okay." He murmers softly. "It's okay to cry. You lost so much, been through so much the last two months. It's normal to cry." He comforts me.

We stay in silence for a while as he lets me softly cry, it's not the ugly crying that I had the first months, the full breakdowns that give you that massive headache and that hollow feeling, this is softer and with his arms around me the ache in my chest doesn't make an appearance.

"How did you meet him?" His tone is so soft as he pulls away a little and looks at me. He uses the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away the tears that fell down my cheeks.

I sniffle before answering. "I was four years old. My dad had put me in pre-school, naolin was in a higher year as he's older but we shared the same space during breaks. I was never a social child. I didn't have friends there either. I would always cry when dad dropped me off. One day Naolin came to me, asking me if I wanted to play with him." I begin. I smile a little at the memory. Brennan squeezes my arm. "Ever since he stuck around, he never left me behind and he was always there when I needed him." I finish. Brennan smiles down at me. He hands me another biscuit and takes one for himself.

We watch as the sun fully sets, the warm glow that used to reflect on the grass slowly vanishing as the dark of the night takes over. We almost finished the entire box of biscuits.

"You mentioned that you have sisters?" I whisper as the moonlight reflects on the ground.

"I have two younger sisters. Mira and Violet. They're amazing." A smile appears on his face. "Mira and I were inseperable, and Violet... She's a little fighter." His smile widens. "She has a condition... That makes her bones and joints snap easily." His smile dissapears, a frown taking it's place. "I always wrapped her joints for her." I tilt my head up to look at his face, now he's the one to gaze out over the grass field.

"She'll be fine. She's has her sister right? And your dad." I try to comfort him.

He nods absentmindedly, just like I had earlier. We're both going through so much.

"How about we slowly walk back to Riorson house? It's getting late, and cold." I offer softly. "Sure. You should get some sleep too. Are you busy tomorrow? He asks as he packs his bag and stands up, offering me his hand. I take it and he pulls me up with ease. "The usual kind of busy, assembly meeting. After that I just have some paperwork and then I'm done." I explain. This has been routine for the last two months but I can't say I'm complaining, it keeps me busy but I also have some free time.

I plan on training again soon. This morning I asked the weapons Smith if I could share the forge one of these days to make a new pair of swords and some daggers. I haven't used my magic in a while and I want to imbue the swords and daggers with magic and runes.

We walk back to Riorson house in a peaceful quiet, the moonlight our only source of light until the lights of Riorson house come into sight.

"Do you want me to walk you to your room?" I propose, once we reach the second floor and the door to the family quarters. He looks tired.

He gives me a small smile and shakes his head. "No, thank you. I appreciate it but I think I can walk up one floor and open a door." He says sarcastic and I can't help but roll my eyes at him. "Okay." I say equally as sarcastic.

I reach for the door when he speaks up. "Thank you. For tonight." A small smile appears on my face. I turn back to him and lean against the door.

I smile up at him. "No problem. I enjoyed it." It's true, I did. I didn't know what to expect but getting to know him at least a little soothed the uncertainty that I had about him a little.

He steps closer. "Can I hug you?" His voice is much quieter now. I give him a small nod.

He takes another step closer and wraps his arms around me. His head rests on top of mine. Perfect, we fit perfect.

We stay like that for a while before he pulls back. He gives me one last smile. "Goodnight... Star" he says, adding the nickname hesitantly.

"Goodnight Brennan." I respond softly. From my memory, this is the first time I said his name. And from the look on his face he thinks the same, he doesn't say anything as he turns to the staircase and walks away, dissapears from my view.

I walk in the family quarters to find my brother sleeping on the couch, a blanket draped over him. I sit on the opposite couch and lay down on it.

He looks peaceful as he sleeps. And my heart warms that at least now, he looks at peace. I stand up and sit beside the couch he's sleeping on. I take a hold of his hand and lay my head against the couch.

I fall asleep, feeling at ease and peaceful, knowing my brother is safe. And that no one can hurt him anymore.

☆

Taglist: @honethatty12 @smashee0789 @awkardnerd @randomperson1234sblog@bangtanxberm@hyperactive-bookworm-0@littowl @thebreadisthetruevillian

[anemoiashifts]

You might’ve gone through this on other post but how can I figure what’s holding me back from shifting? Because I want to shift so bad but I feel like I self sabotage myself like listening to audios when I’m super tired and not when I’m more awake and just ending up sleeping(If that makes sense)🦄🦄🦄

makes total sense !

people have shifted with doubts. people have shifted without trying. people have shifted with self confidence & 100% self certainty. some people say “i shifted when i wasn’t trying to & didn’t care about shifting” & “I shifted when i said that i gave up on shifting”. so, there are a lot of ways & different mindsets. many seem to be trial & error. like how there’s different kinds of learning styles & how one may not work for everyone. finding out what works for you isn’t always linear. sometimes you’ll feel like subliminals are your thing & other times you’ll be emotionally attached to reality checking every half hour in hopes of inducing a lucid dream.

& it’s totally okay to listen to audios when tired & feel like you’re not putting in effort. even if you feel that it’s lazy, you’re still taking the time to turn on an audio. a subliminal or guided meditation, i assume ?

౨ৎ | setting aside time to meditate

while you may not be trying to shift, meditation always helps me. it could help you develop some sort of routine rather then just rolling over & going to bed. if you don’t know how to meditate headspace has some guided meditations that teach you the basics. from a spiritual perspective, you receive so many messages & learn so much from being quiet.

౨ৎ | don’t force it

if you’re not in the mood, then you’re not in the mood. I know this might be a little hypocritical since i just said that developing some sort of routine may help you but I think this is important to include. just don’t force it. shifting is supposed to be fun, burn out isn’t.

౨ৎ | shadow work

in simple terms, shadow work is answering questions that allow yourself to explore the parts of you that we have a tendency to burry or suppress. i definitely made a post on shadow work questions somewhere. if i remember to i’ll link it somewhere in this reply. though, there are a lot online that aren’t shifting related that may also benefit you.

౨ৎ | get to know yourself

everyone comes from different places & experiences. we’re made up of our beliefs — positive or negative. take the time to think on where your (negative) beliefs came from. when i was in inpatient a few summers ago to deal with my anxiety & phobias, this was typically something used to knock fears down a few pegs so they don’t have complete control over us. this primarily works with fears, but determining things as irrational vs irrational helped me a ton.

im sure this has been said before but you can totally just roll over & go to sleep with only the intention to shift if you want. you don’t need some elaborate routine or ritual with candles & and hour long meditation session. shifting — manifesting also— can be even boiled down to “when i go to sleep, i will wake up in my bed” in my opinion.

────୨ৎ────

[elbiotipo]

What would be the main differences between a template forest and a tropical jungle for fantasy? I guess that things like iron armor pieces would never become a thing since historically they weren't popular in other hot climates, winters without snow might be less feared but summers with big floods might be more worrisome? I guess that cuisine and farming would also be massively different although I don't know exactly how.

Out of the top of my head:

Equatorial climates are notoriously stable, since it's always the same day lenght there are no seasons, especially if you live near the ocean which estabilizes the temperature. You will get dry and wet seasons (and sometimes even hurricane seasons) depending on particular geographic conditions

Tropical/subtropical climates often have harsher seasons the farther away from the ocean they are, but never snow (that's the difference actually; temperate climates can get snow, subtropical can get frost but not snow, tropical neither). So yes, in general in a tropical or subtropical the main difference between seasons is rain, and perhaps frost which does play a role in some plants like citrics. Rainforests, of course, get it all year, subtropical forests have dry and rainy seasons. You can see a mixture of both: in my home (Northern Argentina) we do get marked winters with ocassional frost, but the main fact is that they're dry compared to summer.

ANYWAYS. Cultural stuff! Yes, one of the main differences you will find is clothing. It's difficult to make generalizations, but overall, tropical cultures just wear less, if there is armor at all. Don't get mistaken and say that it's because they don't have metallurgy, though, it's just that metal armor is indeed heavy, hot, and not much use if the opponet isn't wearing anything either. At most, you would see padded cloth armor (cotton mostly) or hide/leather at most. If you look at soldiers from, for example, Mesoamerica or Southeast Asia, you will find little armor.

Similarily, while you can go wild with noble clothing and colors, and the preferred materials are indeed cotton or silk, you will find very simple clothes among the general population. To give you an idea, here's a sample of Aztec clothes (including armor!)

Note how simple and lightweight they are, even for rulers. They are colorful too (the artist, Daniel Parada, has more pictures like this for other cultures based on historical records) but although tropical enviroments might seem to have greater access to dyes, medieval european did also have dyes, often not as vibrant as carmine though.

Farming, of course, affects cuisine. I think that instead of thinking about a "pan-tropical" farming, we could analyze this by centers of origin of crops:

From Southeast Asia we got soy, several types of beans (or Fabaceae if you wanna get technical), all citrics, mango, banana, pear, cherry,, but this pales in comparison to rice, of course. Rice defines the tropical and subtropical diet of Asia, being what wheat is to the Mediterranean. Rice cultivation is particular in that is labor extensive, much more productive by area compared to other crops (so smaller plots) and requires extensive irrigation, resulting in complex managed enviroments.

From tropical America we got manioc, squashes (all sorts of curcubita actually), beans, peppers, pineapples, papaya, so much more, but it's especifically from Mesoamerica we got corn, and from the Andes we got potatoes. Potatoes are key in cold climates. Meanwhile, the corn-beans-squash trio, that is known in North America as "three sisters" and in Latin America as "milpa" is spread all over the continent. These three kinds of plants are very adaptable to tropical and subtropical conditions, and combined are very productive.

I will admit that my knowledge about tropical Africa is less than ideal. There are native species of rice that can be found in Western Africa, Ethiopia has traditionally grown barley and sorghum (and is the home of coffee), and millet, like corn for the Americas, seem to be widespread.

As for spices, tropical areas do seem to be blessed with spices, this is true. I recommend this guy to tell you about it. Hell, I recommend his channel in general.

What IS a common theme, regardless, is that jungles are NOT pristine enviroments or wild enviroments untouched by human activity. Jungles have been managed, in overt ways (like for example, rice cultivation) or more subtle ways (planting domesticated species inside the forest) for thousands of years. This is also done by controlled burns, conscious planting, or even accidental things, like, for example, peoples settling in a place and bringing domesticated plants to that place that then grow semi-wildly.

THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING TO TALK ABOUT BECAUSE EVEN IF I STUDY THIS EXACT THING, I HAVE NO REAL DEFINITION OF IT YOU CAN SEARCH. You can find about this phenomenon of "humans managing and changing forest enviroments" by lots of terms, like agroforestry, silviculture, and so many more. The term I use is "landscape management" (no, not "landscaping") where a "landscape" is a term for an enviroment were both humans and natural factors build it (like I said, there is no thing as "pristine nature" ALL natural enviroments have been managed and modified by humans, and you can find evidence of that in tropical America, Asia, and Africa).

In fact, the reason why those enviroments seem "natural" and unchanged to Western views is precisely, because tropical cultures often use wood and adobe to build structures (if they have them at all), which don'r preserve well at all. But also, jungles are fast growing and often eat everything, remaining, interestingly, these subtle domestication and managment efforts in what once were thriving settlements.

Which doesn't mean you haven't tropical cultures to study. THERE ARE PLENTY. You got, like I said, the whole of tropical America, tropical Africa, and tropical Asia and Oceania. It is getting very difficult to me to generalize, and yet, one can see some similarities.

Since this post is general enough, I encourage you to ask more about what you want. What would you like me to focus on?

oh, and you can throw me a tip, if you want! Sorry for selling out, but I'm living under an insane libertarian president right now, so every bit helps!

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

On tumblr when you post you’re just playing Russian roulette with your post getting attention, but it’ll probably get ignored.

On Reddit any comment you make outside of some very niche community will immediately have someone downvoting you and calling you like, three different insults. Then they will wonder why you only log in every couple months. Like, it’s a very helpful website when you have a question for another community you’re in, but you’ll also get someone being immediately hostile when you make an innocuous post on a garden subreddit 😑

At least on tumblr people have to actually seek out your random ass text posts and go out of their way to start shit, and you don’t have the up and down vote system that feels like playing with my self confidence and worth issues.

Both websites are toxic part of the time (what social media isn’t?) and both are actually more useful for weird people, but holy shit does Reddit feel more aggressive about shit. Maybe it’s just the devil you know, but at least on this mess of a website half your hate will be for the most random shit and misunderstandings that people have to seek out finding if your blog is a normal size. Reddit is either posting on a dead sub or getting immediately thrown to the, well, sharks and wolves aren’t actually super aggressive towards humans under normal circumstances, so something else that could tear you apart instantly for just existing in the same space as them.

[tvrningout-a]

i'm gonna try to move some boxes back into my room so i can start putting my room back together, but!! maybe perhaps send me some of these hc questions to answer when i get back bc i'm feeling very soft today uvu

[anistarrose]

Please don't tune out when you get to the non-partisan section of your ballot this November. First off, where state Supreme Court justices are elected, Republicans are trying their darndest to elect candidates who will destroy reproductive freedom, gut voting rights, and do everything in their power to give "contested" elections to Republicans. Contrast Wisconsin electing a justice in 2023 who helped rule two partisan gerrymanders unconstitutional, versus North Carolina electing a conservative majority in 2022, who upheld a racist voter ID law and a partisan gerrymander that liberal justices had previously struck down both of.

Second, local judicial offices will make infinitely more of an impact on your community than a divided state or federal legislature will. District and circuit courts, especially, are where criminalization of homelessness and poverty play out, and where electing a progressive judge with a commitment to criminal justice reform can make an immediate difference in people's lives.

It's a premier example of buying people time, and doing profound-short-term good, while we work to eventually change the system. You might not think there will be any such progressive justices running in your district, but you won't know unless you do your research. (More on "research" in a moment.)

The candidates you elect to your non-partisan city council will determine whether those laws criminalizing homelessness get passed, how many blank checks the police get to surveil and oppress, and whether lifesaving harm reduction programs, like needle exchanges and even fentanyl test strips, are legal in your municipality. Your non-partisan school board might need your vote to fend off Moms for Liberty candidates and their ilk, who want to ban every book with a queer person or acknowledgement of racism in it.

Of course, this begs the question — if these candidates are non-partisan, and often hyper-local, then how do I research them? There's so much less information and press about them, so how do I make an informed decision?

I'm not an expert, myself. But I do think/hope I have enough tips to consist of a useful conclusion to this post:

Plan ahead. If you vote in person, figure out what's on your ballot before you show up and get jumpscared by names you don't know. Find out what's on your ballot beforehand, and bring notes with you when you vote. Your city website should have a sample ballot, and if they drop the ball, go to Ballotpedia.

Ballotpedia in general, speaking of which. Candidates often answer Ballotpedia's interviews, and if you're lucky, you'll also get all the dirt on who's donating to their campaign.

Check endorsements. Usually candidates are very vocal about these on their websites. If local/state progressive leaders and a couple unions (not counting police unions lol) are endorsing a candidate, then that's not the end of my personal research process per se, but it usually speeds things up.

Check the back of the ballot. That's where non-partisan races usually bleed over to. This is the other reason why notes are helpful, because they can confirm you're not missing anything.

I've seen some misconceptions in the reblogs, so an addendum to my point about bringing notes on the candidates: I strongly suggest making those notes a physical list that you bring polling place with you. Many states do allow phones at the polling place, but several states explicitly don't — Nevada, Maryland, and Texas all ban phones, and that may not be an exhaustive list. There may also be states that allow individual city clerks to set policies.

You should also pause and think before you take a photo of your ballot, because even some states that don't ban phones still ban ballot photographs. But whether it's a photo, or just having your phone in general — in an environment as high-risk for voter suppression as the current one, you don't want even a little bit of ambiguity about your conduct. Physical notes are your friends.

[simpforboys]

surprise!

drew starkey x fem!singer!reader

summary: ever since the reader started blowing up, all the interviews and promotions that would ask her who her celebrity crush is, she always had the same answer. so when Jimmy Fallon invites her on his show, he might have a surprise in store…

warnings: fluff!! second hand embarrassment, reader gushes about Drew, she’s just a fangirl at heart

‘perfume’ by del water gap mentioned <3

part two , part three, part four

2020

“Who’s your celebrity crush?”

“Drew Starkey, he plays Rafe in Outer Banks.”

“Do you have a celebrity crush?

“Yeah, Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”

“Are there any people you would hope to collab with or meet?”

“Definitely Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”

2021

“Last year you said multiple times Drew Starkey is your celebrity crush, is this still true?”

“Yeah, he’s still my main one.”

“Are there any guys you’re interested in?”

“My dream guy is Drew Starkey, if that’s what you mean.”

“What’s your type in a man?”

“Umm… probably Drew Starkey.”

2022

“Update us on all the boy drama! Anyone interesting?”

“Just waiting for Drew Starkey.”

“You look stunning! Are you here with anyone tonight?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Your crush around Drew Starkey, is that still a thing?”

“It still is… have you seen his new movie ‘Hellraiser’?”

2023

“Your new EP just released, are any of the songs about Drew Starkey?”

“Not on this one, no. Maybe the next one.”

“Are you seeing anyone? Has Drew Starkey called?”

“No, not yet. Maybe next year.”

“Have you seen season three of ‘Outer Banks’ yet?”

“Yes, oh my god! Drew looked so good.”

2024

“Your new song ‘Perfume’ is an absolute hit! Is it about Drew Starkey?”

“Omg, no, but it should’ve been.”

“You’ve quickly risen to fame! Has Drew Starkey noticed you yet?”

“Unfortunately, no. He’s probably hiding.”

Ever since your career started, in every single interview you get the question regarding celebrity crushes, the answer was always the same.

Drew Starkey.

It became a known meme revolving you and your fans, along with the media. Practically every interview just loved to teased you about your known celebrity crush.

Your popularity rose more in 2023 to 2024, so, when Jimmy Fallon reached out to you to have you on his show, your agency immediately agreed.

Standing behind the curtain wearing a tight brown suit, the pants wide-leg. Black boots were your choice of footwear, your makeup done perfectly to match the outfit.

“Ladies and gentlemen, bring your hands together for Y/n L/n!”

When Jimmy announced your name, you came out from behind the curtain, a big smile on your face as you waved to the audience.

Shaking hands and hugging some of the crew members before you finally hugged Jimmy, settling down in the blue chair.

“How are you doing tonight?” Jimmy asks with a warm smile.

“I’m doing good! Pretty nervous to be honest, this is my first talkshow.” You answered sincerely.

The audience clapped and Jimmy sunk back in his seat a little more.

“Well, I’m glad to be your first one! So, your new song ‘Perfume’ recently came out, congratulations on 200 million streams.”

“Thank you so much, really.” Your hands were shaking as you fidgeted with the brown fabric on your knee, one leg crossed over the other.

“So, you’ve been singing since 2020?” Jimmy asks.

“Yeah, I started posting videos on Tik Tok but my career really took off at the end of 2023 and now here we are.” You smile, the whole experience still so surreal.

“Your voice is phenomenal, seriously. I’ll need to have you come back and sing on the show for us.” Jimmy says, causing the audience to erupt into cheers.

You laughed a little, nodding your head. “Of course, anytime.”

Jimmy continued to talk to you for a few more minutes about your career, the conversation flowing smoothly as you cracked some nervous jokes.

“So, I have to ask, Y/n. Since your career began you’ve said your celebrity crush is Drew Starkey, can you tell us more about this?”

You felt your face get a little warm as you shifted in your seat, an anxious smile on your lips.

“I dunno, I guess I’ve just always found him attractive. He’s insanely talented and just seems like a very genuine soul.” You say sheepishly, avoiding looking at the camera.

“He’s also becoming more and more popular right now, with season four of ‘Outer Banks’ that came out in October and November along with his new movie ‘Queer’.” Jimmy adds on.

“Yeah, I’m a pretty big fan so I’ve been following along with it. I’m very proud of him, in like a supportive-fan way.” You say, making the audience laugh at the last part.

You were completely oblivious to Jimmy looking behind you, motioning with his hand underneath his desk.

“So it’s not just his looks?” Jimmy teases.

“I mean, he’s a very beautiful man. He looks good with any haircut especially that mullet he had last year — and oh my god, he just looked so good in season four of ‘Outer Banks.’ Plus he has these big biceps that just bulge out of any shirt.”

You hadn’t even realized you were gushing over your celebrity crush until you finally caught yourself, hearing the audience laughing.

“Oh, gosh. You are really into him, huh?” Jimmy teases.

“What would you do if he was standing right behind you?” The host asks.

If you weren’t so nervous from being on a national talkshow you probably would’ve understood his message.

But your brain caused you to miss it, being as oblivious as ever.

“Probably pass out.” You answered, hearing the audience giggle more. Jimmy had an amused grin on his face.

“Please don’t pass out.”

Your posture immediately straightened, body tense as you stood up from the seat.

Turning around, your heart dropped to your stomach when you saw Drew fucking Starkey standing there.

The audience’s laughter grew as well as Jimmy’s, clearly satisfied with the surprise.

Your hands went to cover your mouth, face feeling hot like you had a fever. You just gushed about this man practically to his face.

“Hi, Y/n. I’m Drew.”

You couldn’t respond, just in pure shock as you stare at the tall man.

Drew also looked a little sheepish, his cheeks pink as he grinned at you.

“Did you— did you hear everything?” You finally managed to choke out.

“Maybe.” Drew chuckled, scratching the side of his neck.

“How do you feel after hearing all that, Drew?” Jimmy chuckles.

“I’m honored,” Drew replies.

You hated the way he fucking said that and the way you understood that reference.

Drew held his hand out for you to shake, but your heart was beating too fast and your brain was turning into nervous mush that you just embarrassed yourself in front of your dream man.

“Are you going to shake his hand? Hug him?” Jimmy chuckled.

“I’m… scared.” You murmured, the audience swooning and giggling over your shyness.

“Can I hug you?” Drew asked.

Stunned, your head slowly nodded. His strong arms wrapped around your body, your forehead resting against his shoulder.

You couldn’t even hug him back properly, just too much in shock. He smelt like cologne and it made your knees weak.

“I love your new song, by the way.” Drew murmured softly in your ear.

“Yeah?” You whisper, feeling like an idiot for the way you were reacting in front of him.

Drew just nods and hums, soothingly caressing your back in an effort to calm you down.

“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up one last time for Y/n L/n and Drew Starkey!” Jimmy has to end the segment.

The audience cheers as Drew continues to embrace you.

He had known about you for the last few months, having a few of your songs in his playlists.

He was just constantly busy so he never really got the chance to reach out, but when Jimmy’s team contacted him about surprising you on the show, he was excited.

And nervous.

“Sorry about surprising you like that.” Jimmy comes over, causing you and Drew to finally pull away.

“You gave me trust issues for talkshows now.” You said jokingly, finally calming down a bit.

Drew and Jimmy both laughed softly.

The film crew told you and Drew that the commercial break would be ending soon so to step off stage.

You did your signature on the wall dedicated to Jimmy’s guests, feeling familiar blue eyes gazing at you.

After thanking each crew member and shaking hands or hugging, an assistant pointed you and Drew towards where a car will take you both back to your perspective hotels.

“You ready?” Drew asked you.

You nodded, feeling nervous due to the fact that you were about to be alone in the back of a car with your celebrity crush, other than the driver in the front.

Drew opened the door for you as you climbed in, hyperaware of how he slid in behind you onto the leather seat.

It was quiet for a few moments, you nervously fidgeting with the rings on your fingers.

“So… you like my new song?”

You finally manage to choke out.

Drew smiled softly, turning his head to look at you. He was still a little flustered at everything that happened, but also very amused.

“I do, yeah. Are you going to shoot a music video for it?” Drew asked.

You nod, making eye contact with him.

“Yeah, my idea is to tell a story about these two lovers who move to like a quieter part, I was thinking either the forest or a desert, that live in poorer conditions but are completely happy and content because they have each other. I want it to be full of love, so kissing, affection, a sex scene.”

You rambled on to him, your eyes falling to your hands as you played with your rings.

“Oh, wow. That sounds cool as fuck.” Drew murmured, also watching your hands fidget. He thought it was cute.

“I’ve had the idea in my head for a few years, actually. I started writing ‘Perfume’ in like… 2021? So, I just want everything to be perfect.”

You added on, looking back at him. He had his left leg crossed over his knee, his body language towards you.

“Well… if you need a male costar, I would love to do it.” He gave you a smile.

A small grin curled onto your lips, stomach hurting at realization of what he just implied.

“Yeah?”

He nodded, licking his lips.

“Mhm. I told you, I love the song. Plus, your idea sounds amazing, and if you want me to, I would love to be apart of it.”

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat when it finally hit you that Drew fucking Starkey wanted to be your on-screen lover.

“You’re not just fucking with me, right?”

You had to ask, blurting it out of your nervous mouth.

Drew just snorted, shaking his head in amusement. “No, I’m not.”

“Okay… I’ll have my manager reach out to your’s about details for when we start shooting. I appreciate it a lot.”

You were unaware the car finally came to a stop, parked outside your hotel, fans and security guards waiting for you.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. Have a good night, Y/n.”

Drew smiled at you, your heart fluttering.

“You too, Drew.”

You got out of the car, letting the security guards guide you inside the hotel. You tried your best to take photos or sign autographs for your dedicated fans, something Drew admired as he watched from the back of the SUV.

By the time you finally got back into your hotel room and kicked off your boots, you started taking off your jewelry.

Flopping down onto the bed, you grabbed your phone.

It felt like your heart dropped to your stomach when one notification specifically caught your eye.

@/drewstarkey started following you back

[vi-steponmeplease]

ˋ°•*⁀➷ loser!gf ellie

synopsis: just some random headcanons about what it'd be like to date loser ellie who's js so obsessed with you.

notes: never made any headcanon posts before, so don't mind the setup lmao i have no clue what i'm doing

tw: mostly fluff but there are some smutty hcs (oral — e!receiving)

✧₊⁺ to begin with, ellie defo prefers cozy 'netflix n chill' date nights over dressing up for fancy dinners.

✧₊⁺ cuddling up on the couch with you is something that never fails to make her heart swell, no matter how long you’ve been together.

✧₊⁺ but mostly because it gives her a chance to imagine what domestic life with you might be like—though she’d never admit it, afraid it might seem like she’s moving too fast.

✧₊⁺ she’s a sucker for resting her head on your chest while you thread your fingers through her hair, gently massaging her scalp as the two of you watch some cringey movie you’ll inevitably fall asleep to halfway through.

✧₊⁺ on the rare nights you don’t doze off, ellie grabs her brown acoustic guitar adorned with spongebob stickers and serenades you with a gentle melody while you rest your head on her shoulder.

✧₊⁺ when you’re out with friends, ellie—being the absolute dork she is—seizes the opportunity to practice tricks on her scratched-up skateboard, determined to one day impress you with her skills (even though she can barely land a kickflip without bruising herself)

✧₊⁺ when she eventually heads home with fresh scratches and deep purple bruises on her arms and knees, she does her best to patch herself up and cover them with makeup, hoping you won’t notice.

✧₊⁺ walking around town with ellie is always chaotic, as she can’t help but scream with excitement at the sight of every cat she sees.

✧₊⁺ bonus points if she’s eating chips—she’ll immediately tear open the bag and try to feed the poor animal junk food, no matter how much you explain it’s unhealthy. she just wants the cat to be happy and fed.

✧₊⁺ speaking of cats, she's defo the type to snap 0.5 pictures from every angle, proudly maintaining an entire folder dedicated to her feline encounters.

✧₊⁺ you got her a dino necklace for her birthday, and she’s never taken it off since.

✧₊⁺ ellie also has a whole mini-figure collection of the reptile and loves sending you pictures of two dinos kissing, always captioning them with: us!!

✧₊⁺ this girl lets nothing—absolutely nothing—distract her from a videogame. but the moment you so much as call her name, she’s running to you like a stray dog that just found its owner.

✧₊⁺ sometimes, you sit on her lap as she plays, watching her screen and asking the silliest questions. she always answers with a smile and a soft kiss on your cheek.

"what about there? would you die if you went inside that room?" you ask, your arms draped around her neck as you tilt your head to get a better view of her game.

she chuckles softly, pressing her lips to your jaw before fiddling with the joysticks. "judging by the fact that it’s pitch dark in there, i’d say… probably, yeah."

✧₊⁺ the room eventually falls silent, her focus fully locked on the game. but when she glances down a few moments later, she finds you fast asleep, your head resting on her shoulder, and she can’t help but smile.

✧₊⁺ you’ve never seen a room as messy yet effortlessly aesthetic as ellie’s. somehow, the clutter only adds to her charm and uniqueness.

✧₊⁺ sometimes, as you sit on her bed scrolling through your phone in comfortable silence, ellie sketches little drawings of you.

✧₊⁺ by now, her sketchbook is filled with portraits of you—you’ve become her muse.

✧₊⁺ she used to get shy about showing you her artwork, hesitating before every reveal. but after seeing your excitement over one piece, she proudly gave you a full tour of her sketchbook, secretly basking in the joy of being the reason behind that pretty smile of yours.

✧₊⁺ one time, ellie asked you to press your lipstick-stained lips onto a piece of paper, saying she wanted to create something abstract.

✧₊⁺ that moment quickly escalated into her kissing you with urgency, her lips trailing heated breaths down your neck and collarbone. before you knew it, you were lying on your back, clothes discarded on the floor, as she devoured you like a prisoner savoring a last meal.

✧₊⁺ ellie had never tasted pussy before, but she didn’t need any frame of reference. she’ll always insist yours is the best she could ever have.

✧₊⁺ she’s a soft dom, big on praise—even when you’re the one between her legs.

ellie’s head falls back against the wall, a low groan slipping from her lips as your tongue flicks against her clit. you wrap your lips around the sensitive bud, watching her face contort with pleasure.

“fuck, baby. just like that,” she grunts, her hand threading into your hair and tugging gently to bring you closer. “you’re doing so good.”

✧₊⁺ in the end, ellie is just a hopeless loser who’s madly in love with you and would do anything to make you happy.

[yanderedrabbles]

Yandere Actor

The Golden Age of Hollywood. Stars are born every day and you're desperate to become one. Thanks to @laboodanda for requesting this!

Yandere! Actor who's well established in the industry - his name on the Walk of Fame, his face on all the posters, his agents calling day and night with new offers.

Yandere! Actor who meets you on the set of his latest movie. You're barely even part of the main cast - just a side character with a few lines. But you sparkle.

You have that razzle dazzle in you that makes a true star.

Yandere! Actor who knows it's just a matter of time before you make it big. You've already got your foot in the door and all it takes is a lucky break.

Yandere! Actor who comes up to talk to you during lunch, winks at you and grins at the way you blush. You're in awe of him and it takes a second before you can answer his questions.

Yandere! Actor who's used to starstruck fans, to women who shriek when he looks their way. But, it's somehow new and endearing when you're the one looking at him like that.

He can hear the other extras rushing to your side when he leaves, babbling about how lucky you are that he talked to you, the big stars never notice the little fish.

On the final day of filming, he congratulates you on your first ever role and invites you to dinner to celebrate.

Yandere! Actor who takes you to a cozy restaurant in a quiet seaside neighbourhood. He doesn't want to be interrupted by fans, but he also doesn't want to be seen in public with you. At least not yet.

You really impress him. You know quite a lot about acting techniques, about getting into and maintaining character, about catering to the camera.

But it's clear you're still a rookie. There's a slight nervousness to you that veteran starletts don't have. It's alright - he'll train it out of you in no time.

Yandere! Actor who shares he milkshake with you and offers you his jacket when the sea wind starts to nip.

When he drops you off, he squeezes your thigh and says he'll talk to his agent about you, that there might be a role in his next movie for such a pretty little thing.

Yandere! Actor who sees the innocent, love struck look in your eyes and revels in it.

Pretty soon he calls you and tells you about a private audition with some studio execs.

"Keep your hair loose and wear that short sundress you wore on our date."

It should be friendly advice, so why does it sound like an order?

The audition is in one of the studio's offices. A room filled with big shot executives and egotistical directors. Men in suits who are high on their own power, their own genius. They've seen a thousand hopeful girls and to them you're no different.

The way they look at you makes you feel like dirt, like the most untalented person in the whole world. You would have walked out then and there if it wasn't for him.

Yandere! Actor who volunteers to read the lines with you. He winks and smiles at you and by just being there makes you feel so much better. And a few sentences in, you find your stride. Immerse yourself in the scene.

You're playing the part of a jilted lover, a woman who gave everything to her man and has her heart shattered when he leaves. In the final act, you grab his collar and look up at him with tears in your eyes, your voice shaking.

"Please, please don't go. I love you. I need you."

You raise one hand to his cheek, your fingers trembling. "Don't you love me too?"

Yandere! Actor who actually forgets his line.

You're looking up at him so weak, so vulnerable that his mind goes blank. His director calls out the line and he repeats it blankly.

"And...End scene!"

Yandere! Actor who doesn't look away from you even when the directors start clapping and you turn to give them a bow. You were so raw that it didn't feel like a performance. The tears, the desperate way you pulled at him... It felt so real.

It's only when his agent slaps him on the back that he manages to snap out of it.

The director is already grabbing your arm and insisting to the studio executives that he needs you in his next movie.

Yandere! Actor who comes up behind you and drapes his arms around your shoulders. You don't realise it but he's staking his claim, showing all these rich and powerful men that anything to do with you has to go through him. He grins at his agent.

"She's perfect, isn't she?"

The man lowers his shades and drags his eyes across your body.

"You need to clean up her look a little, but you were right. She's the perfect girl for you."

You feel like there's more behind their conversation, things they've discussed that you aren't privy to. But you don't have the nerve to ask.

On your way out of the studio, Yandere! Actor curls his arm around your waist.

"You're gonna be a lead actress soon baby. The execs want you in a few supporting roles first, just to get you used to the camera, but the director has his mind set on you."

You smile at him, a megawatt grin filled with the thrill of having your dream come true. It makes him feel like the centre of your world, makes him feel like a man.

You throw your arms around his neck and hug him. "I owe you! Thank you thank you thank you thank -"

He cuts you off with a kiss. And in that moment you really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Yandere! Actor who slowly takes over your beauty routine. Who tells your hairdresser exactly what shade to tint your hair, exactly what shape to thread your eyebrows. Who buys you new clothes and tells you exactly how to style them.

You don't realise it, but he's shaping your look into something that compliments his own.

Yandere! Actor who almost invites you to his movie premiere until his agent advises against it. Who kisses you and apologises and says he'll bring you to the next one.

You understand, you really do. You're still relatively unknown and having you on his arm would just invite gossip. But it still stings watching him go to the premier on his own, his arm around his beautiful co-star. You go to bed that night with doubts nagging at your mind.

It's only when you hear him knocking at your door at three in the morning that your insecurities go silent.

Yandere! Actor who's still wearing his tuxedo from the red carpet. His hair falling out of its slicked back style as he dangles a bottle of champagne in front of you.

"Gotta celebrate with my girl."

He's barely three steps into your apartment before he's kissing you, his hands on your waist and dropping lower.

You try and push him away. Tell him it's your first time.

Yandere! Actor who nips at your neck. "Don't worry, 'm gonna be so gentle."

When you still try and slip away, he pulls back to look in your eyes. Despite the haze of alcohol, there's something piercing about the way he looks at you.

"How many girls can say their first time was with a Hollywood star?"

Yandere! Actor who let's his fingers climb higher up your thighs.

"I've been workin' so hard to make you an actress. Don't I get a reward?"

How are you supposed to say no to a man who holds your future in his palm? You nod your head just the slightest and he's back to kissing you, back to drawing you hands to his belt, back to growling in your ear.

Yandere! Actor who's a shameless liar. He isn't gentle with you at all.

Yandere! Actor who wakes up all groggy and hungover the next morning. Who pulls you closer to him and falls asleep again with his head on your chest. You look down at his dark hair and his chiseled features and for a little while, it doesn't feel like such a bad deal. Love him in exchange for a career.

And he is so easy to love.

Yandere! Actor who encourages the director to start filming your movie as soon as possible. A romance between a thief (you, in your very first lead role) and a jaded detective with a heart of gold (him, who's had so many lead roles he's lost count).

The schedule is gruelling and the director is a tyrant, but this is your big break. You give it everything you have. You learn the script inside and out, badger the screen writer until she discusses your character arc with you, follow the director around and beg him for tips.

Yandere! Actor who adores working with you. You're sweet and pliable and the chemistry between you is sizzling. Every scene with you makes him need a cold shower and a priestly intervention.

Yandere! Actor who pulls you into his trailer every chance he gets to "read lines." But it always ends with him holding you down and kissing you, claiming it's good practice for the camera.

"Character building," he pants from between your legs. "Just getting into the mindset."

Yandere! Actor who watches with satisfaction as the movie comes along. You remind him of himself when he just started, raw talent and a burning desire to please.

Yandere! Actor who is next to you every moment he isn't needed on set. Who gives you endless advice and makes you laugh with his stories about bad takes and wardrobe malfunctions.

Part of it is to keep an eye on you - there's a jealous bit inside him that thinks of you as his creation, your talent a reflection of his training - and part of it is to spark rumours.

It works exactly as he intends. Pretty soon the magazines and radio hosts are blabbering about a possible romance between him and his relatively unknown co-star.

Yandere! Actor who's determined to make this movie a success. On the premier night, he walks down the red carpet with his arm around your waist. When the cameras are at the height of their flashing, he takes your chin in his hand and kisses you.

The next morning, the papers are raving about it and the theatres are sold out before midday.

It's a critical and commercial success. Yandere! Actor who's high on the thrill of it. Who loves driving down Hollywood Boulevard and seeing you on the billboards, who loves having Hollywood's newest darling on his arm and in his bed.

But then the letters start coming.

Yandere! Actor who snarls at the piles and piles of fan mail you receive. Maybe, if it was all innocent praise, he could have accepted it. But most of the letters are absolutely filthy.

Men writing to you from all over the country, all over the world. Describing in detail all the things they want to do to you, all the ways they want you speared on their cocks. Men who promise to treat you so sweet you'd never want to leave them and men who threaten to whip you over their knee if you don't learn to say please when they fuck you.

Yandere! Actor who's never received mail with such perversion. His fans are mostly sweet young girls who timidly describe how nice it would be to find a man like him, to get taken to prom and courted.

Yandere! Actor who becomes suspicious of every man he sees. The gaffer that looks at you too long becomes the guy who promised to find you and fill your cunt with his come. The driver who holds your hand when you climb out of the car becomes the stalker who followed you home the other night.

Yandere! Actor who keeps his arm around you whenever you're outside. Who starts keeping his gun in the glove box of his car.

It's not only strangers he needs to worry about either. The studio executives keep pressuring you with stricter and stricter contract offers. The director wants you starring in a romance role with another man. Two dozen talent agencies are crawling over glass to try and sign you.

Yandere! Actor who tells you to let him handle the contracts and paper work.

"The bastards will try and trick you out of your money and your clothes. Trust me baby, I've had to deal with plenty of shitty deals. I don't want that for you."

Yandere! Actor who knows exactly how tightly binding a contract is. And it's no coincidence that the one he has you sign binds your career almost entirely to his. It ensures that the bulk of your roles are alongside him, that he has the final say in studio disputes, that he owns the rights to your name.

The studio executives might normally never sign a deal like that, but they're desperate to get you under contract. You're a blazing star and they aren't going to lose you to a competitor.

Yandere! Actor who drinks a toast to your success and kisses you infront of all those high flying executives. Despite all the attention and awards you've earned, you still look up at him with a blind sort of hero worship. He's the goal you've always aimed for, the standard you've tried to reach. To be his girl is still so dizzying you almost can't believe it.

In bed that night, Yandere! Actor thinks about proposing, about wifing you up. The wedding would be huge, generate massive press. His next big project with you is scheduled for half a year away. Maybe do a proposal during opening night? Or better yet, at the Academy Awards? Yeah, that would get cinemas sold out even faster than kissing you on the red carpet did.

Save the wedding for a few years down the line. When your career is more established and your image might need an upgrade.

You curl against his side and moan in your sleep, brow scrunched. Cute, naive little thing, aren't you? Hollywood would swallow you up and spit you out if it wasn't for him.

Yandere! Actor who kisses your forehead as you dream about cameras and lights and action.

"Don't worry baby, I'll take extra good care of you."

Yandere! Actor who's curated his image so carefully. Who wants a girlfriend who's light and talent make him shine all the brighter.

And who better than someone who owes him her career?

Extra!! Here's a short drabble I wrote when I was brainstorming the idea with @laboodanda

[inkedbybarnes]

unclear

bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: everyone thinks you're dating bucky, except yourself.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: 18+ minors dni. miscommunication (i love this trope, sue me), angst with a happy fluffy ending, quite stubborn reader, implied smut if you squint, usage of petnames such as baby and doll. lowercase for basically everything.

i haven't finished anything in decades, but i suddenly had an idea just now and decided to write it down. surprisingly, i finished it? might have a lot of mistakes and such since i haven't proofread it yet. also, sorry for using lowercase for this, i kinda like how it looks. hope you enjoy this one!

dividers by @cafekitsune!

comments, reblogs, and likes are highly appreciated. thank you! ♡

“you're confusing me. so... you're not dating bucky?”

wanda tilted her head, confusion etched on her face as you spent your weekly girl's night with natasha. it usually consisted of eating food you all desired, drinking until you got wasted, and spilling secrets to one another.

although tonight, you weren't sure if you had any secrets to spill.

"as far as i know, no. we're just friends, teammates. nothing else," you answered with a heavy sigh. "can we talk about something else?"

"hold your horses, young lady! we are not skipping this topic again. you obviously want a label but he isn't giving you one!" wanda protested. she has been constantly asking about you and bucky's relationship for the past weeks, and you always had the same answer. you don't know.

"have you never talked about it with bucky? he looks at you like you'd get lost if he looks away for a second. not a single soul in the tower would think that you're just friends," natasha interjected, taking another sip from the bottle of beer she held. she had a point, as always. "if he's just playing with you, which i highly doubt for barnes, then just end whatever that is. you deserve better than having doubts and confusion, babe."

you've tried asking him multiple times, but every attempt felt like you were stepping on his boundaries. after years of being controlled by hydra, you knew it was possible that he'd hate the feeling of being rushed and entering a relationship that could potentially feel like a cage to him.

but natasha was right. your "relationship" was no longer anything friendly. he sleeps in your bed, claiming he slept better in it, and wakes up beside you to shower you with kisses. none of you even tried to hide it after some time. you always cooked your meals and ate them together, casually feeding one another and stealing kisses in between. you even stopped going on dates and you had no idea if you were exclusive. you deserved to know what your relationship with bucky was, but you were too scared to lose everything once you asked.

"we're not dating. i only see him as a friend, so you can both stop worrying about me." you lied through your teeth, your chest aching as you realised how stupid this was. you sighed and faked a smile, shifting the attention to natasha. "so, tell me about your date with steve! how was the first ever date of captain america since the 40s?"

wanda was distracted by the question, immediately bombarding the now blushing widow with questions. on the other hand, your mind flew away for a minute, finally deciding to get an answer from bucky.

the annual ball that tony stark held for, well, nearly anyone, was nearing. you only had two weeks left, and you haven't even gone out to find something to wear. it was hard to find any motivation to do all that effort when the person you've been waiting to ask you as his date hasn't asked you yet.

although, bucky had a tendency to get shy and hold back. you knew that. so here you were, standing behind the doors to the gym, knowing that bucky would be training at this hour. you still haven't asked him the question you were supposed to ask him, so you decided to do it all at once.

after you've finished your small pep talk, you opened the door to enter the room and your first instinct was to search for bucky.

considering that he was a huge chunk of a man, he was easy to find. however, the sight of him standing in front of a woman that was too close for your comfort wasn't delightful.

he didn't see you entering the room since he was facing the opposite direction, conversing with the agent that happened to be training as well. she had the sweetest and flirtiest smile on her face, bringing her hand up to his arm, slowly caressing it. you didn't mean to easily hear their conversation as you walked closer.

"so, do you happen to have someone for me to have as a date for the ball? i don't want to be lonely on that night, sergeant," the agent said with an extra pout, swaying her hips side to side like a child asking for candy.

"oh, yeah? i think i have someone for you," bucky replied, breaking your heart into pieces with how enthusiastic he was with his answer. "i'm sure you'll—"

you sniffed. unconsciously. not knowing that your tears were already falling, causing your nose to get stuffy. how pathetic, you thought.

your little sniff caught the attention of both the agent and bucky, looking at you in shock. although, the girl was more pleasantly surprised than the opposite. thankfully, you already had your tears wiped before they could see them.

"oh, we didn't see you there!" she greeted you with your name. "we were just talking about our date for this year's ball. who are you bringing?"

"i haven't decided yet, no one's worth it even if i try," you answered bitterly. "so you're going together?"

before bucky could answer, the agent already had her arm wrapped around his, happily smiling at your question. "yeah! amazing, right? i actually thought you two had a thing, but i guess not. glad things worked out in the end."

and that was your last straw. "well, enjoy yourselves. i have to go and find natasha."

you turned to leave, ignoring the loud calls of bucky. you were glad that you never asked him about your relationship and the ball. you were going to be hurt either way.

you spent the next hours stuck in your room, body covered with a thick sheet as you ranted about your frustrations to friday.

it was silly, you knew that, but you refused to call natasha and wanda to remind you of your stupidity and decided to let an ai robot listen to your problems instead.

"and he even flirted back! answering coyly like a teenager. he's 107 years old, fri!" you whined, not noticing the new nickname you've given the alternative intelligence. "ugh, now i have a broken heart and no date in sight. how did it get to this?"

"perhaps you must discuss this matter with sergeant barnes first. your conversation ended quite abruptly with no clear conclusion."

"no, i don't want the truth rubbed on my face," you said, grabbing another piece of tissue to sneeze in. "you restricted him from entering my room, right?"

friday answered with a yes, then you thanked her for listening and decided to get some sleep after tirelessly crying for hours. you knew you had a team meeting with the avengers in a bit, but you couldn't bring yourself to even walk a few steps.

your sleep ended and you were woken up with friday's reminder that it was time for dinner with the team.

with a groan, you pushed yourself off your bed. bucky would be there, but you were too hungry to care. it would be awkward, of course, but you had to face him at some point anyway.

your feet padded towards the door, opening it after trying your hair in a bun.

"ah, fuck."

you jumped at the voice and the body falling to the floor as you opened the door.

"bucky?" you asked, still in shock. "were you sleeping outside of my room?"

you watched bucky stand up, his hand massaging his aching nape as he looked for your eyes. "friday won't let me in. i waited outside instead. i guess i fell asleep during that," he explained, a frown forming on his face. "did you restrict me from entering our room?"

your eyes widened at his choice of words. our room. he considered your room to be his room as well. while that would've made you melt in an instant, you were still hurt to entertain that possibility.

"this is my room, barnes. not yours, not ours. and yes, i had you restricted because i couldn't face you yet. what do you need anyway?"

"i wanted to see you, talk to you." a flash of pain crossed his eyes. "whatever happened at the gym, it's—"

"bucky, you don't have to explain anything to me. we're just friends. it's my fault i assumed we were something. i just need some time to get over it."

"but i thought we were something as well..." he replied, his voice was almost as quiet as a whisper. "i thought we were dating."

"were we?" you asked, genuinely curious. "we never.. you never said anything. i mean, yeah, i wished it meant something, but i thought you wouldn't want to be trapped in a relationship with me, so i just waited. apparently, i was right and i can't blame you for that."

"right about what? the thing that happened in the gym this morning?" he asked. you nodded in response. "i know it sounds like i was flirting back, well i didn't know at the moment, until i asked steve who was clueless but he called nat to help me out and explained that it looked like i was flirting back. i wasn't. i was just going to suggest sam as a date for her. i would never agree to anyone."

oh. so he just wasn't interested in anyone at all.

"besides this one girl who's constantly been in my head. that's if she'd even give me a chance and say yes. i fucked it up badly before i could even ask her properly."

you knew what hoping got you, but you couldn't help but think that he was talking about you. he'd have to be clueless to say all those things in front of you only for it to be someone else.

"i love you, baby. i should've told you that, i should've made it clear sooner. i'm so sorry i let you have doubts when i could've been reassuring you about what i feel for you."

"bucky..."

"i would never feel trapped with you, doll. only you made me feel so much love and freedom. i'd be a fool to let go of that. i'm sorry it took a few hits and harsh words from natasha to make me realise that i wasn't giving you enough when you deserve everything." he held your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him. you felt breathless, tears threatening to fall but this time it was out of joy. "hydra made sure i had no voice to express myself. now, i'll use it to let you know that i love you so fucking much that it hurts when you're not around. i promise to work on it. if anything like this happens again, ask me, baby. demand things from me. i'll give you everything in a heartbeat."

"even if i ask for your arm?"

he laughed, a sound that was music to your ears. "it's yours baby. although, i do like fucking you with my metal—"

"bucky!" you scolded him, hitting him lightly on the chest.

"sorry, baby. couldn't help it. missed my girl so much."

his girl. you loved hearing that.

"it's only been a few hours. don't be silly," you reminded him, but you knew you also felt the same.

"i miss you even when i don't see you for a second." you couldn't help but laugh at his words. "something funny, doll?"

"sorry, natasha said something similar about you a few days ago," you answered. "i'm sorry for assuming so quickly, bucky. you deserved the chance to explain."

"and you did let me explain. i can't blame you for assuming and getting hurt when i never gave you the confirmation to believe otherwise. don't apologise for it, baby."

"i love you," you said, causing him to grin widely.

"yeah? you love me too?" he asked, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "this is official now, right? we're dating?"

you nodded happily, giggling as he landed a kiss to your mouth. "so, you wanna go to the ball with me?"

he kissed you again. "don't. i'm supposed to be asking you that. i had an entire thing prepared for you, i even dragged half of the team to help me out days ago. besides wanda and natasha, of course. couldn't let them tell you about it."

your heart swelled, he was already planning to ask you before all of this misunderstanding happened, and it could've been solved with communication. lesson learned, indeed.

"well hurry because i can't wait to say yes," you playfully threatened him, kissing the tip of his nose until the loud rumble of your stomach interrupted your sweet moment. "ah, right. i was on my way to eat dinner when i opened the door."

bucky laughed, his eyes twinkling witth adoration as he kept his eyes on you. "we can't have you starving, that's for sure. come, let's get you something." he held your hand, and dragged you to the kitchen. he turned to look at you with a playful smile. "wanna cook together like the old times?"

you smiled. "like the old times."

in the middle of your cooking session, you heard whistles and claps along with the footsteps that entered the kitchen. you both turned to find the rest of the team with shit eating grins.

"finally! so is this real or do we need to smack your heads?" tony asked, his hand placed on his hip.

"it's always been real, stark," bucky answered, wrapping his arm around your waist. "except this time, i'm making sure my entire world knows it."

"i think everybody knows you have a thing for each other, barnes." clint added.

"i meant my entire world, not everybody." bucky looked at you with awe. "she's my world."

bucky's answer gained various loud reactions from the team, mostly calling him a cheesy old man and fake gags, but there you were, cheeks heating up as you looked back at him with the same amount of love, if not more.

and he did ask you to be his date to the ball the day after, surprising you with his so-called secret plan.

a year later, he surprised you with a ring as he knelt on one knee.

if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌

[nereidprinc3ss]

i keep you clean; you surrounded me

in which husband!spencer reid spirals after realizing he can't be your daughter's hero forever.

angst, fluff warnings/tags: this fic is about spencer's past addiction, and how he's afraid it will impact his relationship with his daughter, conversation about alcohol, this is a fix-it fic for my life, ends on a hopeful/positive note, lots of self-loathing from Spencer, uses the phrase "shooting up", PLEASE do not read if this is going to upset you!! PLEASE!! fem!reader a/n: this felt healing in a way for me but that might not be your experience reading if you also have issues with a parent with addiction so please tread lightly and make the right choices for you. CHOOSE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH OVER MY DUMB FANFIC I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!! and ily

“Daddy?”

Ada’s not asking for you, but you look to her anyway. She’s squeezed between you and Spencer on Rossi’s swing, and her cheeks are still feverish—remnants of a recent and rather hysterical fit of giggles. She has a glass of lemonade between her little hands (you’re trusting her with a big girl cup, if only because it’s not your glass or your house) and she peers into it intently. Her little grass-stained feet kick. Spencer pushes the swing back ever so slightly, for her entertainment. 

“Huh?”

She holds her glass up for him. 

“Our drinks are the same color.”

“They are,” he nods. “Do you like yellow?”

Ada shrugs. It’s exaggerated—one of her favorite moves as of late. “It’s okay.”

Spencer glances at you like he always does when he sees glimpses of you in your child, eyes sparkling as if her opinionated and bluntly honest nature is in any way reminiscent of you. 

“Yeah, I agree. Yellow is just okay.”

She leans against him and he’s quick to accommodate her, affectionately brushing his knuckles over your bare shoulder as he slings his arm across the back of the swing. 

“Daddy?”

“What, lovebug?”

You smile, letting your head fall back and your eyes close. The sun is warm on your face. 

“Mommy’s drink is red.”

Nothing gets past her. Rossi had pushed the drink into your hand almost the second you stepped through the door, insisting it would go well with lunch. It sits otherwise untouched on the glass table. 

Spencer hums. The swing rocks gently. 

“That’s because she’s not having lemonade like us. She’s having a grownup drink.”

“Oh.”

You think that’s the end of it, that she’s satisfied with the answer, until another moment passes, and her voice, sweet as the tinkle of little fairy bells, is posing a very loaded question. 

“Why don’t you ever have grownup drinks? Me and you always have the same.”

Spencer’s already looking at you, brows drawn as you sit up. Your eyes, open now, go wide, and you shake your head slightly to signal you have no idea how he’s supposed to respond either. 

His hand goes to Ada’s hair, gently scratching her scalp as his eyes dart over your face. You can see the gears turning in his head. This is one of very few things he clearly didn’t read about in any of the literature on raising kids when you were pregnant. 

“I… some people don’t like grownup drinks.”

It’s an inadequate answer, especially coming from Spencer—just this morning he explained to Ada why the sky is blue. Rayleigh scattering. Blue light scatters more than any other kind of light. Which then led to an impromptu lesson on oxygen molecules and other basic chemistry in the car on the way here. 

So there are standards. 

“Why not?”

You interrupt, unable to watch Spencer flounder any longer. “Ada, why don’t you go see what Henry and JJ and Uncle Dave are doing? That looks fun, right?”

You gesture down the yard to where JJ and Rossi are teaching Henry to play cornhole. 

She looks at you with big brown eyes—the set of them, the color—those are all Spencer.

“Can you and daddy come?”

You straighten out her dress and take the half-full glass from her little hands, setting it next to your own on the table. 

“In a minute. Go ahead.”

Spencer’s hand slips from her hair as she pushes off the swing and bounds down the yard. You make sure she arrives to her destination without incident, before scooting closer to your husband and taking his vacant hand. 

“Spence?” You ask quietly, leaning in to try and insert yourself into his eye line. He doesn’t look away from Ada. 

“That was bad.”

“It wasn’t. She doesn’t understand. It’s fine.”

“I didn’t—”

He looks down, lips pressed together, and your heart twists and drops like overripe fruit from the vine as you realize his eyes have glossed over. 

“Baby,” you whisper, relinquishing his hand only so you can rub his back. Your other finds his knee, drawing as close as you possibly can. “It’s okay.”

“How am I supposed to explain it to her?”

A tear falls, making a dark splotch on the fabric of his pants. 

“You don’t have to. She’s only five. I guarantee she’s already forgotten all about it.”

“I will. I’ll have to tell her one day. She thinks I’m perfect, how am I supposed to—”

He stops himself, voice tightening to a halt. You watch him hold back a cry like you haven’t seen in years. It’s an old, familiar ache for you. You can’t imagine how it feels for him. 

“Spencer,” you coo. “She adores you. She loves you so much. That’s never going to change.”

His nose twitches. 

“I’m going to disappoint her.”

“How? How are you going to disappoint her?”

“I think it’s pretty disappointing to find out your dad is a junkie.”

His tone isn’t particularly harsh but the words are like a slap anyway. 

“Spencer…” For a moment you don’t know what else to say. It’s not a secret that he’s ashamed of that chapter in his life, but you had no idea he was contending with this much self-loathing over it, even after all this time. It seems like such a distant point in the rearview mirror that the two of you almost never need to talk about it anymore. “You are not a junkie. It’s been, what—a decade?”

“I don’t want to have to tell her what drugs are, let alone that I... she thinks I’m the smartest guy in the world, and one day I’ll have to tell her that drugs are extremely dangerous, and I was shooting up for four months anyway. No matter how I try to explain it to her the ultimate takeaway is going to be that I’m weak and I wasn’t smart enough and she’s never, ever going to forget that. How am I supposed to—I can’t be a role model for her. I fucked up so badly.”

Your chest aches, somewhere deep and hollow, as he leans forward, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes, only for a moment—before Ada shrieks and his head snaps back up. Henry is chasing her with a worm. Spencer watches on, tears still leaking from his eyes and expression otherwise neutral. It’s bittersweet to hear him express such deep insecurity about the thing he’s best at in the world, even as those parental instincts kick in and he’s setting aside his own feelings to keep an eye on her. He’s never trusted himself. He’s never seen himself the way you do. 

“Baby, you are her dad and she loves you. Her love for you is not contingent on your past. You are so, so good to her. That’s all she knows, okay? She doesn’t care what you were doing when you were 25. She cares about whether you’ll be home for dinner, and if you’ll play dolls with her, and if you’ll tuck her in. That’s all she needs to love you.”

JJ wrangles the kids and after a moment Spencer looks down again, brow furrowed deeply as drops like rain dot his lap, but he hardly makes a sound. You lay your cheek on his shoulder. “And until she’s old enough for the whole story, which involves a lot more violence than I am comfortable with her being subjected to right now, you don’t need to explain it to her. You have time.”

“She wants to know now.”

“She also wants icecream for every meal. But I can’t make her understand why that’s a bad idea. What she wants and what she needs and what she is capable of understanding are all different categories. I know you love answering all her questions, and you’re a really good teacher, but you can’t make her understand something as complex as addiction.”

Spencer sniffs. 

“Developmentally she’s only really capable of understanding the world as it exists in relation to herself.”

“Exactly. So give her some time, and give yourself some time.”

“What if she asks again?”

“Then… you say you don’t like how it makes you feel. And tell her to clean up her toys. Condition her to stop asking.”

Spencer stumbles over a teary laugh he hadn’t been expecting. You sit up straight, holding his face between your hands and encouraging him to look at you. His cheeks shine with tears, but you wipe them away tenderly. 

“You’re perfect to her,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to one cheek, “and you’re perfect to me.” He cups your elbow as you kiss the other and looks at you with so much sheer adoration you could get all choked up, too.

“Wow,” he sniffles, and takes a deep breath, pulling you into him, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Of course you do,” you mumble into his shirt, eyes fluttering shut as he presses three kisses to the curve of your neck where he’s buried his face. 

“I could be canonized as a saint and not deserve you.”

Sainthood. You ponder that. 

Saints have to live virtuously. They also have to be dead. 

You hold him a little tighter. You like him exactly how he is: technically imperfect. Probably not getting into heaven. Still venerable. Very much heroic. Alive, and with you.

“I’m really glad you’re not a saint.”

He chuckles. His hand slides up your back, and then side to side—a path it’s made time and time again which has only ever led you to wonderful, perfect places.

“Me too.”