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I was just gonna put this in the tags, but maybe this will help someone else to share my story if anyone else feels less alone. And it got long. I was a valedictorian in highschool. I would not recommend it.
Take it from me-- Do well in school, absolutely. Please try to do well in school. Please. But Do Not let it destroy your mental health the way I let it. I had a very unhealthy relationship with it and tied it to my self worth.
(Story time under read more if it helps anyone)
Oversharing time-- it was my priority in highschool. It was a goal I set for myself to prove I could do it, and if I didn't, I think I saw myself as a failure. This was mostly self imposed, and theres probably a psychological explanation for this I wont get into for the sake of length. But I thought if I could at least do this, I had something on paper that I could point to for myself in a sort of external self validation or worth. "I dont know what metric to gauge myself on, but at least I accomplished this". Call it a method of self soothing, I suppose.
It led to almost daily panic attacks that I could not publically control. The whole nine yards, too. It was exhausting and physically draining. If I were honest with me-- I isolated myself. More human contact, more going out with friends, more of me being the one to make the point of reaching out to other people would have made a world of a healthier difference. My focus might not have been so singular and borderline obsessive because it was the only thing i held onto. It put me in a horrible place mentally, and it has severely affected my adult life. I am still trying to unlearn the "if I mess up learning how to do this on the first try, i am a failure" when its like....just learning how to pipe icing on cupcakes or something. I tied my worth to my ability to learn, and that can become extremely unhealthy in a hurry. Especially when I already had mental health issues that were at odds with learning quickly-- like panic attacks that come on fast and wipe my memory and ability to think clearly. Its like I chose the hardest thing for my brain to do, and that was the metric I weighed my self worth on.
What I told myself at the time was some variation of "if I do this, i'll have the best chance at financial support or a full ride for college." That doing this means I will become self sufficient.
That's not how it works, and thats not how it worked.
I got a $1k grant, which was nice, but nowhere near the full ride or anything close to the "heavens of opportunity rain down upon me" sort of thing I had hoped for in my head.
Valedictorians make for good metrics for the school. Attendance records make for good records for the school. Not in any way saying kids SHOULDN'T try to do well in school (please for the love of god, we need every scrap of education we can get in this country), but please find a healthy medium too.
Doing well enough in school and not letting it destroy your mental health do not have to be mutually exclusive. A 3.5 is probably good enough. That was the cut off for one of my bigger transfer scholarships later down the road, transfering from one college to another. Nowhere did I have to continue maintaining a 4.0.
Besides. I didnt get a 4.0 by retaining functional information. I got it by gaming the system of how testing worked.
The example I use is a very dry history class in college I had. Our final exam was the culmination of all of our final tests. Same questions, same answers. I did not remember the content. I did not learn anything. What I did? I remembered the first three words of the question and the first three words of the answer, and remembered them by association. And then I forgot it all within the hour.
In the meantime, foster your friendships. Good friendships. This can create business connections in the future. Kindness and community will get the majority of people further in life than being any kind of top of your class, I promise you.
But most of all, be kind to yourself and treat yourself gently.
are you or have you ever been a straight-A student?
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harmony, do you have any advice on writing sunday?? been trying to write in his pov for like, days now and i feel i'm making him too generic tbh
Hi Psyscio! I apologize for the slight delay in writing this, I've just been a bit occupied with irl things ^^; I do hope you find these helpful!
— FOR POINT OF VIEW
Based on significance, we can divide Sunday's character thus far in three parts : early childhood, Bronze Melodia period and Oak Family Head.
The Stellaron disaster was undoubtedly the spark that ignited his later concerns. We see from the conversation about the Charmony dove that Sunday was an empathetic and inquisitive boy, albeit, his concerns mostly centered around others.
During his Bronze Melodia days, the segment where he's questioning Ena (I assume), we see a sort of overlap between concerns for himself and for others. It seems that he's projecting the doubts, insecurities and helplessness he feels for himself through the suffering that he's observed in the outer world. We can also see this as a kind of a protective barrier.
This is the time where he's already reached his conclusion and has started (or has already finished) the planning for the utopian dreamscape. One point which I think is very important to remember is that, despite how he presents himself, a small part of him has always doubted this method. But since he was never able to share his ideas with others (since they'd expose his entanglement with the Order) and since Gopher Wood never addressed the faulty nature of them, he wasn't able to think deeper into them. Which is why, even during his boss fight, he's inviting the Astral Express to prove him wrong — to give evidence to the doubts he's always had.
After these three, we have post-Penacony-arc Sunday. He isn't going to be a completely different person, of course. From the snippets we've gotten so far, we see this pattern : Sunday reminisces about [x] thing and how he used to do that in the past, he comments that there's no need to be as rigid as he used to be but he isn't completely ready to fully embrace that and circles back to his previous belief. Which is fine, old habits are never easy to get rid of.
When you listen to Sunday's ideas, you'll find yourself simultaneously agreeing and disagreeing. Similarly, there's a sense of obscurity in the flow of his emotions. This is intentional of course. So, I think it's alright if you notice this convolution while writing him. Emotions and thoughts are abstract by nature. But the way I'd recommend doing this, is pointing out that vagueness after that flow or an action has passed.
Thanks to Sunday's Myriad Celestia, we know that there's a sense of discord between his inner voices. We see him as both the interrogator and the answerer. The former appears to be firm, harsh and disappointed, while the latter appears nostalgic, remorseful and tired. You can use these voices to address his inner conflict.
Speaking of inner conflict, I think it's one of the most powerful tools you can use to write his perspective. I recommend not dodging it.
I've personally never agreed on the opinion of Sunday being delusional. He's quite lucid and we've received many hints of it. There's a difference between just being aware of something and acting upon that awareness. Sunday has many restraints that prevent him from acting, but it doesn't mean that he's ignorant. Oftentimes, the truth is just in his peripheral, but he can't bring himself to look at it due to a lack of support.
Sunday probably overdoses on psychoanalyzing people. Luckily, perceptive characters are very versatile. Now, I think Sunday prefers to see the best in everyone, unless he's been pushed far enough or has a particular history with an individual, he isn't one to harbor antagonist thoughts about someone. According to this post, Halovians can read the minds of people within a certain distance and use telepathy to communicate with other Halovians. Consider how you might use these together.
I like to have this mental image that Sunday is always holding onto a set number of ‘straws’ in his head. Events and people gradually come, ‘snap’ those metaphorical straws and he allows them to, to an extent — until he's left grasping onto the last of them. Use a mix of allegories and ‘telling’ to illustrate this.
— FOR BASIC CHARACTERIZATION
Sunday is in the ‘emotions revealed through unintentional body language’ group. But I think, when he's confronted with unwanted emotions, he gets even more rigid and guarded (as we saw during that scene with Gallagher). There's the popular hc that his wings flutter in certain ways in response to emotions, so, you can use that as well.
Sunday often thinks about the collective instead of the individual, which is sensible considering he's a leader and all. A romantic interest will challenge this, you can use the ways he breaks his own rules to illustrate how deep his investment in the person goes.
I think having a reader who makes him feel safe or understands him can save you a good amount of emotional turmoil. But of course, I also believe in unexpected pairings. Trust that Sunday, being who he is, can always find something worth appreciating about anyone.
One of the most fascinating things I've observed about Sunday are the similarities between him and Aventurine, as addressed by Ratio. Studying them side by side was very fruitful for me.
For resources to better understand Sunday, I recommend this video and this video.
— FOR DIALOGUE
I mentioned this in my Aventurine post, but in case you missed it, there's this channel that compiles character dialogues individually which can be helpful if you're seeking to refresh your memory. However, I'd like to add here that listening to how a character interacts with others ; as in, how they respond to what, can be even more useful for dialogues.
I've only observed Sunday's English voiceover so I'm not sure how the performance differs in other languages. Based on my observation, Sunday prefers to maintain a gentle, almost airy tone. This appears to be a result of practice though. Sometimes his manner of speech gives this impression that he's viewing you from an elevated space, where he's seeing everything about you. We hear his true voice when the people he cares about are in danger, or, when he's alone with his thoughts.
— MISC. TIPS
Sunday may appear hypocritical, you'll notice dissonance between his words, actions and subconscious — which is okay, characters and people aren't meant to be flawless. What you need to remember is that all of these discrepancies are intentional and results of his upbringing.
Sunday has been groomed by Gopher Wood for the Order's propaganda. In addition, he has survivor's guilt, religious trauma, trust and attachment issues and (possibly) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Do your research on how these affect people in relationships.
It's okay if you struggle to fully grasp his character, he isn't understood within the game either. In my opinion, it's a very well done representation of how little we'll know about other people. Fiction allows us to gaze into the inner world of a character and see them from different perspectives. This isn't possible in reality and that's okay. Approach Sunday's character with an objective mindset, because the beauty of his writing is not centralized, but scattered.
#writing tips#sunday#sunday hsr#sunday x reader#hsr x reader#abyssmal-skies#this got longer than i expected :')#sunday aventurine and dr ratio are my GOATS of hsr writing so i'm always down for yapping about them ehe#honkai star rail x reader#yandere sunday#yandere sunday x reader
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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 29/10✨
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
@xyuki-iris ha chiesto: I LOVE YOU'RE ART ALSO GOOD FOOD But I have a what if What if Redson found Mk having a panic attack over something serious about him being Trans.
Ouch poor baby Red Son would totally support MK and try to calm him down
@ashmeertheimp ha chiesto: First of all your story is glorious and congrats on getting lmk at the very top. Second does Mk want to work on his relationship with Nuwa. I think Nuwa did truly love Mk but she also loved everyone else on earth equally. Mk has forgiven Mac who actually made an effort to hurt Mk (past mistakes) while Nuwa was opposed but still didn't stop Mk from not fixing the pillar of heaven.
I always felt like after S5 his relationship with Nuwa is similar to the one Steven had with Rose after S5 of SU. So it's- complicated
@audioandart ha chiesto: mayhaps a silly question, but towards the very start of the mk shadow peach stuff when mk first shadows into the wall. He says "why is everything *more* flat". Is this implying he already sees the world as 2d the way we do or am I perhaps missing something? 😅 (I love your work! Have a good day 🫰)
ahah yeah I was!!
@fake-anjel ha chiesto: Your comic makes me stay awake at night thinking of the next cap, making theories and making imaginary scenarios and imaginary gacha reactions to them for some reason. I was wondering... If Wukong and Macaque have a child (hypothetically, and by the biological way) wich one would be the oven for the bun? You have a fan from Brazil<3
Well, I would say Wukong, but here comes the question: a Stone Monkey, born from a stone, would be able to reproduce themself? There are no other like the four celestial primates and MK, so I would assume that they weren't able to- reproduce normally. Also if they would does it mean the womb is a stone as well???
@sollythesalt ha chiesto: Just asking if Wukong is trans do his female organs also count as part of his un-glamored form or does he stay with his male ones when he drops his glamour? Also what does his glamour include in your au just out of curiosity?
No under the glamour and shapeshift he still has female organs
@dandy-doodles ha chiesto: I'm VICIOUSLY consuming your comic rn - It actually came across my feed from a reblog. Never watched the show before. Loved the comic so much I binged the entire series and now I'm sat with the task of reading JTTW. This hyperfixation is your fault I love you for it. @ivoronical ha chiesto: Hi! I don’t know how tumblrs asks work because I’ve never used them before, but just wanted to say that your art is ✨fabulous✨ and you’re shadowpeach bio parents au has convinced me to rewatch the show entirely. It’s also made Macaque one of my favorite characters and because of that I am halfway through making a cosplay of him completely from scratch and I’m very excited to finish it:) Anyways I’ve rambled enough. Have a nice day!!! @starzz-twi ha chiesto: Can I just say how much I adore your art! It inspires so much that I might try drawing lmk again 🫶🫶🫶🫶 @artemismoorea03 ha chiesto: I hope you know that your Bio Parents AU fills every waking moment. I swear I only get on Tumblr anymore to see if you've posted something. I eat up any art you post regardless of what fandom it is and I just have to tell you that your art tastes like a blue raspberry icee (the best kind). I hope you're having a fantastic day ♡
AWWW TYSM TO ALL OF YOU!!!!
@sakuralotus03 ha chiesto: What will family gatherings be like now that MK has 4 parents? Like his birthday or end-of-year celebrations. I want to see more of the dynamics of the 4 parents interacting and talking about their one and only child.🐷🤓☀️🌙
oH CHAOTIC INDEED
Anonimo ha chiesto: How does it feel to be one of those artists that like 70% of the fandom knows about
wait is that a random number or???
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will we maybe see Macaque interact with Bai He or Mei?? (I'm starved of DarkHorse/EnderDragon/NightFlare Duo and Raspberry/Black Cat Duo) But I am interested if you might make them interact! :D Anyways, I love how your art got better by each comic, you can see the improvement from the slight sharpness of the shapes in the first comics and the now softer lines.
mmmmm I will maybe I'll do some small scenes
Anonimo ha chiesto: Past Wukong working out: I'ma get so strong. Ain't no one beating me Present Wukong working out: I'ma be so good at hugging my son and husband.
AWWWWWW WHAT A GOOD BABA!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hello! I wanted to ask if we'll see just how sensitive Macaque's hearing is in your Au in a future comic maybe? Like... a thunderstorm happens or something when he's around FFM watching Mk and Wukong train or something that affects his hearing badly? But either way, love your art and style! :)
mmmm don't know if I have a scene planned for that...
Anonimo ha chiesto: Does Wukong and Macaque know about the other 2 Celstial Primates, Red-Hoarse Baboon and Lomg-Armed Gibbon, in your Bio Shadowpeach parents au?
I think so? In JTTW he knew so I would assume the same?
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will Macaque use his future vision at any time again in this comic? We now know in this Au he hasn't used it in years. But maybe will he use it again soon? I bet he won't but I still wanted to ask :)
not unless he is forced to
Anonimo ha chiesto: I’ve been listening to a song from a Pokémon movie: Always Safe by Cynthia, and I think of the Shadowpeach bioparents Au everytime
AWW that's beautiful the lyrics omg!!!
@notjustonefandom1 ha chiesto: So, I've been thinking about MK's staff. After he got it do you think he develops a habit of clasping his hands together, especiallywhen stressed or threatened? With the fluidity and energy he moves with, I think it would take a while for him yo find a chance to Summon the staff, especially if he isn't fast at it yet, so he just starts keeping his hands pressed together in preparation.
ooooohhh that's a cool idea!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Where does the Macaque has white fur head canon come from? I'm new to this fandom and I'm still learning things and I see it everywhere
I honestly have no idea but I guess either because Japanese Macaque are white furred or bc he died.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Ok so this may be a sensitive topic and definitely doesn't need to be answered so TW Did mk ever go through a depression thing after trying to die to save the universe in the last season in your au? A in like what if Wukong and Mac find out he used to SH?
hish. I'm not probably the right person to answer this. Probably he did had depression tendencies but didn't recognize them until someone pointed them out.
Anonimo ha chiesto: This ask os Going to be a little weird But Can I See Macaque Pining Wukong on the wall?In a Flirty way?(pretty Please?) I love Your Art so much!👑❤️🔥💎
Ouh.. *cleans forehead from sweat* is getting hot in here... maybe?
@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Wukong: OH BUDDHA, HE CALLED ME BABA!!!!! (SCREAMS WITH JOY) What DBK heard over the phone with his brother: OH andhdbrjjsm (feral monkey screeching)
Poor DBK gotta deal with the gossip now
@alastair-1205 ha chiesto: OMG THE MOST RECENT PART IM CRYING But I also love how Mac's first instinct is just grabbing Wukong and being like: "get out of hearing range before we freak out, get out of hearing range before we freak out, get out of-" you know? It's very funny but also builds on past comics since they woke MK up last time smth like this happened and I'm just !!!!!
GOTTA MAKE THE BABY SLEEP
@eerieqloss ha chiesto: OSISJJWJSJSJWWN OKAY WAIT SO IS MK GONNA START CALLING THEM MAMA AND BABA INSTEAD OF THEIR NAMES CONTINUALLY OR WAS IT JUST THAT ONE TIME
It wont be a one time!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I hope you are resting as you should Always remember to take your time, rest first, then work, ofc as far as possible 😅. I have a fun question (if you have the time ofc 👉🏻👈🏻): will we see Feral MK again? But you know, like another kind of "demonic learning" that maybe wukong or Mac will teach him to control or see that it's not bad as it looks
For now i want my baby to either be happy or traumatized not angry.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like i remember you asking about happier shadowpeach songs for your playlist, but I can't find the post anymore. But if you're still looking, Livingston's new song Glow reminds me of them and also made me think about the eclipse scenes in the comic.
Several of Livingston's other songs also give me shadowpeach vibes, but I think about them so much that I might just be seeing them everywhere at this point.
Oooh true a lot of his song fits really well!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: This is the only instance where having a kid really did bring a couple together.
TRUE LMAO
Anonimo ha chiesto: Soo...Wukong and Mac in the DBK Palace I have a question in my mind!!!! Actually I hope you to see it and draw it.. if you don't wanna it's okay! What if DBK & PIF flirt with each other or smt like this u know in front of shadowpeach?! They will probably look to each other and then blushing hard
HAHAHHA poor souls they would totally think of wanting to kiss each other but can't because they are emotionally constipated.
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♡ breathe your name ♡
♡ Pairing: best man!hyunjin x bride!chubby!fem!reader
♡ Genre: angst/fluff
♡ Summary: It's the day of your lavish wedding. Everything's set in place. From the dress you wear to the aisle you're walking down, everything's picture perfect. At least you're able to pretend it is until the appearance of a particular wedding guest in your dressing room brings up feelings that you can't ignore. Will you be able to bury your past to get through this day or will you find yourself drawn back into the arms of thet man you swore you'd never speak to again?
♡ Word Count: 3.7k
♡ Warnings: mentions of an affair that you definitely had with Hyunjin. a lil make out session. mentions of sex. but other than that? none (shortest warnings list I've probably ever written. oh my gosh).
♡ A/N: This is what happens when you leave me alone with an Adele playlist. Anyway, I hope you have fun at your wedding. It's gonna be...interesting, babes xoxo
There’s something some girls spend their entire lives dreaming of. Wishing, even praying, for.
The perfect wedding.
And you have it.
The picturesque church nestled in the heart of a gorgeous historical district. It costs more than some people’s mortgage to rent this place for a few hours. The simple act of laying eyes on it starts knocking numbers off of your bank account. The celebrity planner who's been on the cover of wedding magazines and worked tirelessly to make sure today’s an occasion people will talk about for years to come. The gorgeously crafted white dress, custom sewn and beaded for your special day. It accentuates every delicate contour of your figure perfectly. Like everything else here. So perfect.
“Smile a little, babe. This is the happiest day of your life!” your makeup artist giggles, applying the finishing touches to your lipstick.
Seated in front of a mirror in the church’s dressing room, you nervously toy with your diamond bracelet and force a faint smile. All you can manage under the circumstances.
“It might be raining out there” she hums, her gaze drifting over to the gloomy sky looming beyond the stained glass windows, “But you, my dear, are pure sunshine.”
She circles behind you, gentle hands resting on your bare shoulders. “So, what do you think?” she asks, fussing with a few flyaway hairs that managed to sneak their way out of your updo.
You take a deep breath and summon all of your courage to face what you’ve been running from all day. Your own reflection. “It’s beautiful” you lie, your smile beginning to waver as your stomach audibly turns.
She shouldn’t be here. No one should. Not your family. Not your friends. Certainly not you. This is not the best day of your life. This is a mistake. You’ve known that for a while now and have been biding your time ever since waiting for the right moment to fix it. But the moment never came and time, as it does, ran out. Your fiance’s proposal had been accepted out of spite. It didn’t matter at the time that you were giving yourself away to a cruel, narcissistic man whose greatest joy in life is that he can use his daddy’s money to buy who and what he wants.
What mattered was that the man you truly loved, the one your heart pines for even now, had broken your heart and you needed to break his. A mission that the announcement of your engagement flawlessly accomplished but was it worth it? Was any of this worth it? Your heart sinks to your stomach as if weighed down by cement bricks, heavy with the knowledge that it wasn’t.
Your makeup artist sees it on your face. The sorrow. The regret. A sudden tapping at the door diverts any attempt she might’ve made to question you. She turns to answer the door but there’s no need. A figure in black is already entering the room, filling the air with a cologne you once spent endless passionate nights inhaling. Without thinking you breathe it deep into your lungs, savoring it even as you despise the appearance of the man it emanates from.
“You must be lost. The groom’s room is down the hall on the left” your makeup artist frowns, waving the man in the designer suit away.
The corners of his lips quirk into something that’s not quite a smile but pleasant enough to be mistaken for one. “No, I’m not lost. I just need a second with her. I won’t be long” he insists, advancing towards you with a confidence you find both irritating and irresistible.
That was Hyunjin for you. So charming. So graceful. So handsome. So much of everything that you can hardly stomach him. You crave his touch on every inch of your body and want him to get lost all at the same time.
You clear your throat, patting your makeup artist on the back of the hand, “It’s fine. If anyone asks, just let them know I need a moment please.”
Hesitantly she nods and makes her way out of the room, all the while keeping a skeptical eye on Hyunjin who takes her place behind you. He fusses with the same hairs, successfully finding an excuse to touch any part of you.
Hyunjin sighs, head tilted to the side. He pokes his bottom lip out, releasing a huff of air that blows his long dark hair free of his line of vision. Now he can see you perfectly, unobstructed, and his eyes light up at you the way they always have. “You look like an angel” he smiles and it’s genuine this time, no matter how badly you wish it weren’t. His fingertips brush your ears and your body’s flush with heat in an instant. You always despised it, how little it takes for Hyunjin to get a reaction out of you.
“What do you want?” you snap, your tone unforgiving. The way you look at him, it’s as if you hate him. Why? Hyunjin knows why. He can’t deny that he deserves it for what he’s done—for what he’s come here to do. His hands drift along the outline of your face. They skim your cheek too lightly to disturb your makeup but you feel his touch still.
“Leave” you demand, drawing in a sharp breath at the sensation, “I don’t want you here.” The power behind your request is not existent. Rather than come out threatening, laced with conviction, your words are nothing more than a whisper. If you had to rely on them to push him out of the door he wouldn’t move an inch.
Hyunjin leans into your ears, his eyes not once leaving the mirror where they remain locked with yours in a gaze brimming with enough heat to burn down everything around you. “I’ll leave but only if that’s what you truly want” he whispers, gently placing a warm hand to the soft skin of your chest.
Your heart picks up a speed only he can make it race at. The feeling’s a comfort to him. It’s the knowledge that even after all that happened you still feel what he does. There’s a fondness there that can’t be buried, it’ll always find its way back to the surface, but there’s something else too. Something he’s been able to hide from until this moment. You’re broken. Over the past few months you’ve done everything to pretend that you weren’t but you are and the pain has your eyes swelling with tears even as you fight to hold them at bay.
“Fuck you, Hyunjin!” you shout, bolting up from your chair just in time for a few tears to escape, “Since when have you ever cared what I truly want? It’s always been about you. All this will ever be about is you.”
Your anger’s boiling, hot tears staining your cheeks as you pace the floor. Usually on her wedding day a bride sheds tears of joy for her husband at the altar yet here you are full on weeping in front of his best man. Speechless, Hyunjin reaches out to grab your arm but you pull away from him, backing yourself into the furthest corner of the room.
“I don’t know why you’re here. I gave you everything and it wasn’t enough. What else do you want?”
Hyunjin watches you for a moment, letting your words flow through his veins like a poison of his own making. “I never said it wasn’t enough…”
“Oh, you never said it?” you scoff, “You’re right, you just said, ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and then acted like nothing ever happened.”
“I was trying to do the right thing.”
“If that was ‘the right thing’ then what do you call this?”
You await an answer, hoping that for once he might have something worthwhile to say, but you’re met with silence. The same silence he’s offered you every day since he broke your heart. “
Typical” you mumble to yourself, returning to the vanity in a desperate search for tissues. Maybe if you grab them soon enough you can preserve some of what your makeup artist worked tirelessly to achieve. Drying your eyes you catch a glimpse of Hyunjin and for a fleeting moment he seems deflated, like he has something resembling feelings, but you made the mistake of believing that before and you can’t let yourself be fooled by it again.
Hyunjin’s chest tightens, every breath beginning to feel like hard labor. There’s something he’s been holding inside too and it’s aching to come out, it won’t let him breathe until it does. “You’re right, all this was ever about was me, but I never thought you weren’t enough. I loved you, I love you, I was just afraid you still loved him.”
Tossing your tissues aside, you turn to face him, arms folded across your chest. “You were afraid I still loved him when I was in your bed everyday?”
“And you crawled back into his every night” he says, a hint of bitterness slipping out, “I knew you’d leave him for me but for how long? I thought that if I ended things…if I told you to be with him instead you’d be happier.”
You take a deep breath, doing a regal twirl for him in your wedding dress, “Do I look happier without you?”
Hyunjin feels a tear wet his cheek and it stuns him, he hadn’t felt it coming yet there it is. “Do I look happier without you?” he shoots back, closing the distance between the two of you. “I know I’m the one who told you to stay but I can’t…I can’t stand there and let you marry him. He doesn’t treat you like you deserve to be treated. He can’t love you the way that I love you.”
Pinned against the table, his body too solidly planted to move, there’s nowhere for you to run to escape the truth. He slips his arms around your waist, bringing you into his chest with little concern to the mascara threatening to stain his dress shirt. You let your head rest there and for a moment you can pretend that you’re somewhere else. Back at his apartment maybe, like all those times before, cuddled up against him on the couch talking about nothing as the hours melted away. You always felt so at peace there, so protected.
“They’re almost ready for you, darling!” a voice rings out as the door swings back open. The two of you scatter in opposite directions, unable to face one of your bridesmaids as she hurries into the room. She stops dead in her tracks, unsure what she’s walked into but positive it’s nothing good.
“Everything good in here?” she asks, digging for the truth where you wish she wouldn’t.
“Everything’s fine” you swear, painting on that forced smile again, “He was just leaving. Isn’t that right, Hyunjin?”
Hyunjin looks to you, unsure what to do. He can’t stay and fight for you, not in front of your bridesmaid, but what happens if he leaves? He has no choice but to see. “Yeah, I was just leaving, uh, good luck with everything.”
Your head drops as he dips back out into the hallway, leaving you to pick up the pieces all on your own but you can’t be mad at him, not for that. This is as much of your mess to clean up as it is his, if not moreso. You wish you could go back in time and do things differently but you can’t change the past and you can’t change what’s coming. Outside of that door hundreds of people are waiting for you. Your fiance’s waiting for you. The time for wishing has passed. It’s too late.
A city bus whips through the rain slicked streets, settling as it pulls up to the only bus stop for 15 minutes in either direction. Outside a small crowd of people forms a line, hidden under the cover of jackets or umbrellas. The weather mentioned a chance of light rain but it’s pouring hard enough to make an umbrella almost useless. The second the bus doors swing open they’re piling inside, rushing to pay their fare and escape the downpour. As they settle in their seats the bus driver readies himself to close the door and truck along to the next stop.
“Wait!” you shout, bolting through the rain to catch him before he peels off.
Luckily he stops, the sight of you likely being the highlight of his day. You’re standing in front of the bus stop in a wedding dress soaking wet with your heels in one hand and a small clutch in the other. You probably should’ve attempted to grab an umbrella, a jacket, something before you got here but when you’re darting out of a church on your wedding day you don’t particularly have time to raid the lost and found for survival supplies.
Completely out of breath, you climb onto the bus, attempting to wedge your toes back into your slippery shoes. “I’m sorry for holding you up sir but where does this bus go?”
“What are you doing?” Hyunjin’s calls from somewhere in the distance.
You peek off of the bus, spotting him not too far away. Your blood runs cold. If he knows where you are, who else does? There’s no time to find out.
“Nevermind” you say to the bus driver, fishing your fare out of your purse.
You pay for your ride and scurry to the back of the bus, flopping down into your seat. You’re in a panic, attempting to bring yourself down from the rush of anxiety that came from bolting the second your bridesmaid turned her head. It’s a difficult feat when all eyes are on you. You do your best to appear normal, play it off like any other day, but this isn’t any other day. Everyone can see that.
Their curiosity piques even more when Hyunjin hops on the bus, frantically paying before scanning the seats to find you. A sweet old lady points to the back and Hyunjin rushes towards you, heaving for air as he takes the seat beside you. The bus doors finally close, plodding down the street as the two of you sit at the back like two soggy Barbie dolls.
Staring out of the window, you watch the world pass you by, finding an odd comfort in the growing space between you and that church. There’s something therapeutic about leaving that place and everyone in it behind. Well, almost everyone. You can’t bring yourself to look at Hyunjin but he’s looking at you. Only at you. He watches you without expectations. There’s no pressure to speak, not even to acknowledge him, he only cares that you’re here and that he’s with you. Placing a hand on your knee, he shifts his attention to his own window, zoning out as the cars whoosh past, splashing rain onto the windows. You sit like this for the rest of the ride, trapped in your own worlds and tethered to each other’s all at the same time.
Everyone else must be searching for you right now. It’s likely that at first no one thought much of it. Someone would’ve suggested that you hadn’t heard the cue or might have run to the bathroom at the last minute. They would’ve sent your bridesmaids to search for you and the groomsmen next. Before long everyone would be in a panic trying to find you. You wonder how long it must’ve taken for them to notice that Hyunjin was missing too. It’s possible that they haven’t even asked that question yet, in too much of a frenzy to find you to think of it but when they do…
The bus comes to a sudden stop, bringing you back to earth where Hyunjin stands over you tugging at your hand. “Come on, this is our stop.”
You ask no questions, allowing him to guide you off of the bus and out onto a street corner you slowly begin to recognize. The rain has let up to a light sprinkle, the fresh post rain air a welcome change to the stuffiness of the bus. Looking around you spot a familiar restaurant. It’s the same one you used to grab breakfast from before heading to Hyunjin’s in the morning. Across the street is the park he’d take you to for picnics where you’d sit listening to music while he sketched the landscape in his notebook. His place is only a couple of minutes from here, you could find it with your eyes closed, but you let him lead the way, flashing an awkward smile at strangers whose gazes linger on you along the way.
Hyunjin keeps his hand glued to yours the entire time, not letting it go even as you climb the stairs leading to his apartment. Circumstances aside, it feels nice to have your hand in his again. The sex between you was amazing, each time more memorable than the last, but that wasn’t what he missed the most when you were apart. It was warming your hand with his on a cold day or feeling your noses brush when you kissed. The tiny things people take for granted until they lose them.
“Wait here” he says once you’re inside, disappearing down the hall and abandoning you to the silence of the living room.
The place is exactly as you remembered it. The black tufted couch with the fluffy purple star plushie on it. That guitar propped up in the corner that he swore he’d play for you one day but never got the chance to. Bookcases lined with everything from his precious manga to paint stained art history books. Art supplies scattered across the coffee table, a vase of fresh sunflowers positioned at the center.
You’re taken in by all of the new paintings. They’re darker than what he used to make and you try not to linger too much on the reason why. Hyunjin emerges from one of the rooms with a bundle of towels tucked under his arm. He wastes no time making his way back to you, tossing one over your head before you can react.
“Hyunjin” you giggle as he dries you off like a puppy he’s just given a bath. Your hair goes everywhere, the tiny flower clips throughout it clanking as they fall free and hit the oak wood floors.
He can’t contain his own laughter at how cute you are with your nose scrunched up like that, your laughter filling these walls for the first time in what seems to be an eternity. “What? I’m helping.”
“You call this helping?” you pout, snatching a towel and giving him the same treatment he gave you.
“Ouch, you’re gonna snap my neck!” he whines, twisting free of you. He runs to the other side of the room and you chase after him, draping the towel over his head and wildly tossing his hair around with it.
“What? I’m helping” you mock.
Hyunjin grabs you by the wrists, holding you in place, but your fingers still wiggle against his scalp and it tickles. “Stop it” he whispers, bringing you in close enough to watch the pink tint of his cheeks deepen. He says it like a dare masquerading as a threat and you’ve never been a girl opposed to taking Hyunjin’s bait.
“Or what?”
He turns your wrists loose, hands dropping down to cradle your face in his palms. The surprise of the contact makes your body tense but that only lasts for so long. In the blink of an eye you’re melting into his touch, a low hum of electricity buzzing through you from head to toe. Hyunjin takes a deep breath, staring into your eyes like he’s falling head first into your starry orbs. “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay?”
It’s not a question as much as it is a notice. His lips crash into yours, stealing the air from your lungs to fuel his. This isn’t this kiss you remember. It’s sweeter—deeper. Dripping with enough longing that you can taste it. Your hands traverse each other’s bodies like weary travelers in desperate search of home. A home that’s your fingertips pressed against his chest, tearing at the soaked material of his shirt. A home that’s his hands hungrily devouring your figure through your dress. You’re two planets colliding, every piece of one scattered throughout the other. Neither of you have ever wanted anything this badly. Nothing in this whole wide world.
“Hyunjin, wait” you somehow manage with his tongue still swirling around yours. You pry your lips free, tempted by how dangerously close to his they remain. “Are we really doing this? Are we…”
“We’re doing this but only if you want it. Do you?” he says softly, tracing the zipper of your dress.
Your body arches into him, a trail of fire left in the wake of his fingertips. “I do but first there’s something I need to do.”
“Something like what?” he asks and you catch seeds of panic blooming on that handsome face.
You pet his chest to soothe his worries, “Something I should’ve done a long time ago. I saw your car when we came in. Can I borrow it? Pretty please?”
Hyunjin studies your expression, doing his best to decipher exactly what’s going through your pretty little head. But he can’t say no to you, that’s never been a strength of his. Digging through his pockets, he finds his keys and holds them out to you, only to snatch them back at the last second. “Come back to me…for good this time.” With that he hands the keys over, stealing one more kiss before you head for the door.
Stopping in the doorway, you turn back to steal another glance at him. “For the record there was never any competition. It was always you.”
Hyunjin quirks his head at you, grinning as he nibbles at his bottom lip. “And it was always you. Always will be.”
#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#stray kids angst#stray kids x female reader#stray kids fluff#hyunjin x you#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin angst#hyunjin x female reader#hyunjin fluff#plus size reader#chubby reader
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To answer your question about Fresh: Fresh is actually a parasite! He dresses in his 90's-themed clothes and speaks in a silly way so that others underestimate him. His main and utmost goal is to Survive, and the way he does that is by infecting other people with his parasites and draining the life from their souls. Being seen as harmless lets him get closer to them and gives him easier access for possession. He hopes to eventually take over the multiverse, spreading his parasites in every corner of it and having absolute control.
He also has no emotions. He is capable of them, but for whatever reason he is unable to feel much, besides the rare instance of anger. He does frequently feel fear, though.
He is a bit sadistic, and he likes seeing others suffer. This is because when he takes over someone he drains their soul of life, which causes them pain. And to him, taking someone's body means safety, it means he can survive a bit longer as long as he's snatched their body. So he's come to associate the pain of others as something good.
And he's also aware of the creators/viewers, thanks to an event called the Loveball, which is canon to his character.
Going to copy and paste my own words for this [I was talking to a friend about Loveball]:
"So, like seven years ago there was a fandom-wide event called the Loveball, where people gathered their OCs and had them all attend an UTMV dancing ball. Fresh went, of course. There, he met a Frisk called Pacifrisk. Even knowing who he really was [90's parasite], they still believed he could be good. Before this, he hadn't ever really felt a connection to anyone, or even positive emotions in general. But Pacifrisk's faith in him made him feel positively towards them. This freaked him out. [No Fr@ns though, don't worry. That wasn't the intention for this plot.]
As a result, not only did he try to kill them, but he also went through with his plans: the Fresh Takeover [I forget what it's actually called]. His true reason for attending the ball. OCs were either possessed by the parasites or tried to fight against them. Apparently, some people used alcohol to ward the virus off, as Fresh hates substances such as that.
Fresh wanted to take over the multiverse, with this Loveball being the first step for his total domination.
But then right in the middle of things, a Sans AU [which I totally forget the name of X,D] grabbed Fresh and basically yeeted him into an alternate state of being. One where he could see the creators, all staring at him. An audience.
The Sans revealed the nature of Fresh's existence: That he was simply a character in a story. And if the creators got bored of him, he could easily be written aside and forgotten. Erased. His conquest didn't matter, in the end.
Predictably, this gave him an existential crisis. I'm not sure what happened after, but he stopped invading and went somewhere to contemplate his existence in a depressed state.
Afterwards, he had a new goal: To entertain. To convince the creators that he was worth keeping around. Similar to his previous goal of survival, but now with more dire stakes."
His creator @loverofpiggies has some posts about the Loveball, tagged under either the 'fresh sans' tag or the 'loveball' tag, which I recommend you check out! ^^
But yeah, to answer your question: The reason Fresh fought Ink was probably 1: because he saw it as a good way to keep himself alive and 2: So that he could be relevant and interesting to the viewers.
Hope this answered any questions you might have about him! ^w^
THANK YOU BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD HAVE FOUND ABOUT ANY OF THIS OTHERWISE😭😭😭 THAT'S A LOT
Now I want to draw fresh existential crisis mood, That's something I never would have imagined existed
Im still a bit confused about fresh not having emotions¿ but I think I got the idea, but still, why does he feel fear?
I think fresh is becoming my favorite now, help, error do something
(Thank you again for your time✨️)
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questions about nikolai and price (originally from an ask meme about original characters but i wanna hear your thoughts):
what do they want to hear?
what do they need to hear?
what do they dread to hear?
Thank you for the ask !! I honestly struggled with the answers, I'm not the best at deep character introspection so this really had me scratching my head. I hope what I came up with makes sense !
What do they want to hear?
Nikolai: "I trust you."
Nik is intimidating, isn't he ? Intelligent, strong, well-connected Nikolai. People know that. It usually takes only a half a second glance to know that you do not want to be on this man's bad side. He's used to it, really. But how many times as he entered a room only to see people shift uncomfortably, suddenly very aware of his presence? He makes people uneasy, whether he wants it or not. It's fine when he's on an op and needs to be menacing, but it gets old quickly when he just wants to relax, sometimes.
He's trustworthy, despite his shady dealings, he's loyal. Thankfully, a handful of people know that.
Price: "You made a difference"
Yes, his hands got bloody, but it was all worth it in the end, right? He saved people by pulling the trigger when it needed to be done. No hesitation, it's what the world needs. So what if he can't sleep at night and his file is covered in black ? He made a difference, the rest, he can live with.
What do they need to hear?
Nikolai: "You need to think of yourself, too."
Nikolai puts others first, this has always been true. He likes to help out, likes to feel useful, ready to answer a call. Loyal to a fault, devoted to his friends. But when was the last time Nik put his needs as a top priority ? Has he ever done that ? He has no trouble flying to the other of the planet at a moment's notice if someone asks him to. How many nights of sleep has he missed because someone needed a hand? How much time has he spent fixing up his helo because it got banged up the last time a friend needed transport in hostile territory ? It's always others first, never himself, and he needs to be reminded of that.
Price: "You matter."
It's easy to forget that you're someone when you've been used as a weapon since you were 16. You forget that you have a purpose outside of your work, too. You forget you're a human first, with needs and wants and desires. You are Captain John Price, but you are also just John Price, and he matters too.
When he comes home for a break, what does he see outside of blank walls and a barely lived in house he never really took the time to make his ? It's temporary, he thinks, he doesn't really live here.
Maybe John needs to be reminded that he exists outside of his work.
What do they dread to hear?
Nikolai: "You don't belong here."
From either side. I think Nik feels strongly about his relationship with his home country, how he's been working against it and how his actions might be perceived by his countrymen. I think he's scared of losing this part of himself, and being rejected, even though all he's done was in the name of his country.
And then on the other side, Nik knows he stands out, knows people see him as a "could have so easily been the enemy" kind of guy. People like him, sure, but how many, aside from Kate, John and Gaz actually trust him ? Everyone else sees him as useful, but ultimately, they still look at him with a suspicious eye.
Where is home for Nikolai, really ?
Price: "You failed them"
Losing people, he's used to it. It never gets easier though, does it? Men and women under his command, people he's known for years, people who trusted him, friends. But, there is something entirely different between losing someone when you did everything you could have done and it was the way it was supposed to go, and losing someone because of your mistake. He failed them, he knows that, and it haunts him.
#cod#john price#cod nikolai#does it make sense ? I hope it makes sense VHJSIOVJHSV#Feeling like I'm not smart enough for this kind of deep character thoughts y'all LMAO#it makes sense in my head at least so huh work#funny that Price and Nik have a similar -ish kind of answer for what they need to hear huh#anyway I tried to answer this without thinking of their ship#thank you so much for the ask <33 it really made me think#nekro yapping
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can i pretty pls request a fluffy nash oneshot 🙏🏻
one with banter somewhat similar to how he and libby talk 🙏🏻 (in the tiny moments we get of them 💔)
thank you so much for this request!! I know it was requested a while ago, so sorry it’s taken me this long. I gave it a go, but I don’t think I hit the nail right on the head with what you requested, sorry!!
title: comfort from a cowboy
pairing: nash hawthorne x reader
synopsis: you had a not-so-nice interview and nash comforts you
warnings:
a/n: for @kit4strophe 💖💖
taglist: @lovethornes @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @fleuriosa @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31 @loveinalocket @lanterns-and-daydreams @hermesenthusiast
My head rests against the hard wall behind me and I’ve been sat on the floor for so long my bum has gone numb. But I can’t be bothered to get up and move, I don’t have enough energy.
I replay the interview - or should I call it an interrogation - that had happened just a few hours earlier. It’s been on a sort of loop in my brain for a while now. The same blood boiling questions over and over and over. I never want to go through that again.
I hear my door open which is odd because when it’s shut usual no one bothers me, they know better than to. I don’t open my eyes immediately. I play a little game with myself, a silent game - ‘who is at the door’. Jameson? Unlikely. Grayson? Almost a definite no. Alisa? Don’t see it happening. Xander? A possibility. Nash? I doubted it. Avery? Wouldn’t be surprised. Oren? Only if there’s an emergency. Libby? Most likely.
I open my eyes and to my surprise my guess is annoyingly wrong. Usually I’m quite good at guessing games but I supposed today was an exception. Maybe it’s because there’s so much on my mind.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, scrunching up my nose at the sight of a certain texan cowboy motorcyclist.
“Careful,” he warns, the corners of his lips turning up in the slightest way, as he saunters in and sits down beside me, “you almost look happy to see me.”
“What are you doing here?” I repeat, not really in the mood for his games or anyone’s games for that matter.
“Sitting beside you,” he replies simply.
I narrow my eyes and shoot him a look, “don’t be cryptic.”
“You asked,” Nash shrugs, acting so laid back he was nearly horizontal.
“Why are you here?” I rephrase sharply, a tone he couldn’t ignore or twist or make light of.
“To make sure you’re alright,” he answers me earnestly, something in his deep hazel eyes that resembled concern.
“Well I’m fine, there we go,” I say shortly, “end of story, goodbye, the door is to your left.”
I close my eyes again and tilt my head back to rest on the wall, assuming he’d leave at my finalisation.
“I’m very aware of where the door is,” he drawls, “but that doesn’t mean I’m going to use it.”
I internally scream in frustration and then open my eyes to meet his.
“Look I’m not in the mood for socialising right now,” I explain, trying hard not to sound too angry and defensive otherwise me might keep prying.
Nash is understanding. If I told him this, maybe he’d understand a kindly leave me be.
“You don’t have to socialise with me,” he says calmly, the soothing quality of his voice making it almost impossible for me to be mad at him.
“Fine,” I snap, standing up and perching myself on the end of my bed.
I won’t socialise. He can sit there bored out of his mind for all I care, in fact I hope he does. I lay back on the bed my head hitting the mattress with a soft thud. I want to sleep and rid myself of being such a prisoner to my own thoughts but for some reason I can’t bring myself to. And I know that reason is called Nash Hawthorne.
“Say something,” I groan sitting up.
If we have the conversation he so clearly wants, then he would leave, then I could sleep. Simple.
“What?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“Just say something,” I exasperate, “the silence is killing me.”
A small smirk plays on his lips, “what happened to no socialising?”
“Just shut up and stay something,” I nearly yell.
“That phrase is one confusing oxymoron,” he chuckles, shaking his head.
“You’re a moron,” I reply, snarkily.
He laughs at me. It was a real laugh, not a pity one. His eyes are lit up and the smile fills his face. It is a pretty laugh, I think that’s what annoys me the most. I liked it.
“Tell me something,” I press on, “anything.”
He pauses for a minute. And then another. And then another. Until the pause is so long I wonder if he’s going to talk at all. Slowly he makes his way beside me again and looks deep into my eyes like he can read them.
“You don’t like all this,” he begins, “you didn’t ask for it, you wish you could go back to your old life but feel selfish and guilty to wish that because people would die to be in your situation.”
I try not to betray my shock but I’m awful at hiding my thoughts and feelings. My face probably says it all. Part of me is angry. He shouldn’t know this. I shouldn’t be this easy to read. It’s not fair. The other part is touched that someone care this much.
I fold my arms protectively across my chest and raise my eyebrows, “and who are you to tell me that?”
“An observer,” he says, almost gently.
“Stop observing me,” I tell him, “I’m not a project.”
“Oh I would never dream of considering you a project,” he replies, his voice deep in the back of his throat.
I move in closer, pinning him with an accusing look, “then what do you consider me?”
“Hold your horses, darlin’, I’m asking the questions here,” Nash grins, something about the way the light sparkles in his eyes gets under my skin.
“Says who? And don’t call me darling,” I tell him bluntly.
“Says me,” he shrugs nonchalantly.
He doesn’t add a darlin’ on the end and part of me respects him for that. If I’d been talking to anyone else they probably would’ve tried to piss me off even more. But Nash isn’t like that, he never has been.
“Well I don’t care what you have to say,” I quip.
“I never asked you to care,” he replies, his voice reminding me of a waveless sea.
I glance at him and find his eyes are already on me, I exhale slowly and ask him one more time, “why are you here?”
“To make sure you’re okay,” he answers in an instant. No double meanings, no puzzles, no avoidance, just a straight answer. But it takes me by surprise just as much.
I try to cover my true feelings, “why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“I saw it,” Nash tells me softly, apology decadently laced through his eyes.
He was referring to the interview of course. I didn’t know he watched mine like I watched his.
“I told you not to watch,” I scowl.
“I’m not very good at listening,” he shrugs.
“Clearly,” I roll my eyes, playing with the fabric of my jumper sleeve to avoid looking at him.
“So are you okay?” he asks, again his voice stole that gentle tone that made my heart melt into mush.
“I’m fine,” I reply, keeping my tone cold and hard.
Of course I’m not fine. I am anything but fine. But saying you’re fine is so much easier than talking through the hard parts, the truth. And sometimes if you pretend it’s fine for long enough you can trick yourself into believing it too.
“I know what happened,” he reminds me with a tenderness that made my limbs ache to curl against his body.
“And I’m fine,” I say sharply, still in denial, still trying to be too stubborn for my own good.
“Well now you’ve told me twice it makes it all the more real,” he barks out a laugh.
I roll my eyes.
“Why do you care so much anyway,” I scoff.
“You’re important.”
The answer is lightning fast, almost like a reaction. It doesn’t have to be thought about, pondered or even considered. It’s just engraved into his brain as the thing that feels more natural, the most ‘right’ to reply with.
“What?”
“You’re important and I care that you’re okay,” he says.
I don’t know what mix of emotions hit my chest, I just know they hit with an impact that knocks all the air out of my lungs. He cares. I’m important to him. He wants to know I’m okay.
“What are you hiding under that cowboy hat?”
He almost chokes on his own spit in surprise. Then gain composure and leans back, raising an eyebrow, “you’re changing the subject?”
“Answer my question,” I demand, narrowing my eyes.
“What do you mean what am I hiding under my cowboy hat?” he muses with a sweet small smile.
“Well you have it on 24/7,” I explain, “so I presume you’re hiding something.”
“Just because something is covered up doesn’t mean it’s hiding something,” he says ,”and it goes both ways, just because something looks normal doesn’t mean it’s not hiding something.”
I have a feeling he’s not talking about cowboy hats anymore.
“I did what I had to do,” I reply.
“Stayed silent?” he asked.
“It was better,” I press on.
A flicker of rage flashes through his face, “people don’t get to talk to you like that.”
“I know,” I yell back.
“Then why did you let them,” he asks me, annoying not raising his voice to escalate the situation.
I fancy a good yelling match in this moment with all the anger built up inside of me, he can see that and he isn’t giving in. I can’t tell if I like him more for doing that or not.
“Not every battle is worth fighting,” I snap back, “you should know that better than anyone.”
“I do,” he replies, almost cautiously, “but some are.”
“If people see you’ll fight everything you throw at them they will use that against you,” I tell him, “if you act unbothered in the first place you can surprise them one day and fight back.”
“You’re a tactical thinker,” Nash comments.
“Who cares what I am?” I reply.
His voice softens with every feature of his face, “I care.”
And there it is again. That mix of emotions with impact just hurling towards my chest. I never know what to say, it steals all my words before I get to say them. So silence consumes us, as if we’re two eskimos dead in the snow, the frostbite gnawing at our frozen bodies.
“You don’t have to act tough in front of me darlin, I can see right through you,” he murmurs, so softly I wonder why I didn’t just melt on the spot.
“Don’t call me darling,” I snap, avoiding his eyes.
I’m worried if I look into them I’ll tell him everything. And I can’t risk pouring everything out, not when I’ve hidden it so well for this long.
“I’m here,” he says desperately.
I feel as his hand clasps around mine, giving it two squeezes. Reassurance. My heart pounds in my chest. I want to tell him, I want to be free of my problems, I want someone to help me. But I’d promised myself I wouldn’t.
“I know,” I pause for a long while and he lets me, “it’s just hard.”
My voice cracks at the last word. After being so steady for so long it was bound to happen at some point.
“I know,” he says delicately, “believe me, I know.”
I let one tear slip down my cheek but as it rolls down, for my dignity he pretends not to notice. Always a gentleman.!
“I hate people,” I whisper, “they really suck.”
It was all I could manage without completely breaking down.
“I hate people too,” he agrees. I let him put an arm around me and I hesitantly lean into his chest.
I make a strangled laughing sound, “we should start a club.”
He sighs and quietly asks, “do you want to leave this place?”
“No,” I hesitate slightly, “and yes, but I’m not going to.”
“Is that what you really want?” Nash asks earnestly, a kind look in his eyes that is rare to find in any human being.
“Yeah, for now,” I nod.
“Good,” he says, “I’m glad you’re staying.”
“You’d miss me if I was gone?” I look up to him and raise my eyebrows.
“Of course,” he replies, “you’re one of us, your family now.”
I smile, my cheeks warming up to tint a rosy colour. I sniff as I let him wipe my final tear away with the soft pad of him thumb. There’s a moment that we lock eyes and neither of us dare look away. We both are very still. It’s like time isn’t moving.
When his thumb finally leaves my cheek all I can think about is how I want his touch there again. It’s like I need it now. Like how a drug addict craves a needle in their arm. The absence of that feeling of his skin on mine is horrible.
“Besides who will I have to call me a moron if you go away,” he jokes, tilting his cowboy hat towards me.
“You are pure cheek Nash Hawthorne,” I poke my tongue out.
“I’ve heard that one before in many different contexts,” he smirks with a wink.
Who knew Nash Hawthorne looked so good when he winked?
I gape in shock, “who knew you could make crude jokes!?”
“I may be the eldest and most responsible but who do you think taught everything to Jamie?” he asks.
“I’d never thought of that before,” I reply.
He shrugs in a very Nash kind of way, “welcome to the inner workings of being a Hawthorne.”
“Should I be flattered to be so privy to such important information?” I grin batting my eyelashes at him.
He moves in, “that depends on how much you value it.”
Our faces are inches apart. I feel something in my chest. Aside from my heart racing, there’s a feeling deep within my heart. It’s warm and tingly and tender. It’s sweet but bitter at the same time, and yet I still crave it.
“Let’s make a deal,” he whispers, our noses so close they could be touching.
“Is this a Hawthorne kind of deal?” I question in a murmur.
“Well what other kind of deal would it be,” Nash says, pulling back a little disappointing me slightly.
Still, I raise an eyebrow and cock my head to the side telling him to continue
“You don’t put up your wall anymore and you talk to me about your problems,” he proposes.
“A deal has two sides Hawthorne,” I remind him.
“Indeed it does,” he nods, “so name your price.”
“You learn when to shut up,” I say.
“What?”
“When I say I’m not in the mood for socialising understand it and move on,” I reply.
I wouldn’t be having the conversation if he’d just left me alone to start with. Not that I’m complaining, this conversation is rapidly becoming my favourite yet, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“Deal.”
We take each others hands and with a firm shake the deal is bound.
“Starts today,” Nash adds, “now.”
“Perfect,” I smile mischievously, “then I think you should stop talking.”
“See I don’t think I-“
“Shhhh,” I shush him.
“But-“
“Shut up.”
“Mouth is shut!” he exclaims trying not to laugh.
“Forever?” I challenge.
“Can’t keep me quiet for that long darlin’,” he drawls.
“I can try,” I reply.
“You’re setting yourself up for failure,” he sing songs.
I put my finger on his lips and this time physically he can’t suppress him smile.
“How does failure taste?” I murmur.
“Like something you’ll enjoy,” he counters, talking against my fingertips. I can’t help but grin.
“Wanna get out of here for a bit, get some fresh air?” he asks me.
“Do I,” I sigh, dropping my hand from his mouth, relieved he finally asked
“Come on darlin’,” Nash says.
I don’t tell him not to call me darling. In fact it’s growing on me. He holds my hands, they’re warm against my cold palms and gently pulls me off of the bed.
“Where are we going?” I stand up, tilting my head to the side in question.
He flashes me a grin, “how do you feel about motorcycle rides?”
I did my research girl 🤭🤭 a little reread of tig never hurt anyone and the libby/nash content is too cute!! I feel like I didn’t really capture the right kind of banter because it was more sensitive so maybe I’ll do another one with more banter, so sorry about that xx hope you enjoyed anywaysss and thanks for your request
#bella writes 🤍#the inheritance games#nash hawthorne x you#nash hawthorne x reader#nash hawthorne#nash tgg#nash tig#nash hawthorne x libby grambs#nash x libby#libby x nash#the brothers hawthorne#the grandest game#the final gambit#the hawthorne legacy#jameson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#xander hawthorne#the hawthorne brothers#tig#jennifer lynn barnes#jlb
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Hero, Villain God 17
(Prev) (Next) (First)
*Scar's pov*
Poultryman leaves quickly but you can't help but keep feeling suspicious. Nothing concrete and his explanation does make sense but you can't help but feel that It was weird for him to just be there like that...
He said he heard of it but ... How did he do so quickly? And why was he just standing there...menacingly?
You don't get the time to think about it further and quickly forget about it as Cub messages you, the hero association wants to talk to you for some reason and that means something is wrong...
...You are a bit worried.
...
You uh... don't really know what to do, your fight and flight is going off in a way only a council of business people can make it go off.
The council is staring at you, you thought they wanted to tell you something not look at you with... judgement in their eyes for like ten minutes straight.
You try to break the tension by initiating the conversation yourself.
"H-hello?"
...
"You wanted to speak with me?"
They are still silent? Did you say something wrong? You literally just said hi-
"Indeed, a decision has been talen that we believe you should be informed of."
Ok, not silent anymore, that's good... Wait decision? They aren't demoting you or something, right?
"Did something happen?"
They look to eachother...ok...even more worrying. It's fine everything is fine, you are totally calm and chill and not anxious at all.
"No, but something will."
"O-ok?"
Points for being ominous for no reason.
"Hotguy, you cannot continue to work alone. The stakes are growing, it is becoming too dangerous.."
"Oh!"
Oh! Are they making a hero team? You always wanted one of those-
"We are not going to waste heroes on a team"
And just like that your hopes are dashed and crushed. Why are you still here...just to suffer?
"But then-"
"Hotguy, how would you feel about a sidekick?"
A... Sidekick? You don't know how to feel, superheroes are supposed to have them though so It must be a good idea!...Wait.
"W-who's going to be my sidekick? You said you weren't going to waste heroes."
"That has not yet bern decided, we plan to start an hiring process of sorts soon.""
Hiring? What's this? An office job?"
"Do not question us, Hotguy. It is thanks to us you are even here to begin with"
"Right! I am sorry."
"... This is where you come in"
"Huh?"
"A sidekick should not only be capable but should also work well with the hero, you'll have to be the final judge of character "
"Oh that makes sense... So I'll interview the candidates?"
"Not directly, we cannot risk that, you'll just have to prepare some questions for them to answer"
"Oh... Alright! I'll do it"
*Mumbo's pov*
You are in your apartment, Grian is off... somewhere. You have stopped questioning him around the time you walked on him peeling grapes ... You just hope he doesn't randomly die or something, that would be quite unfortunate.
You turn on the tv, not something you do often but it's a good way to pass the time when you aren't working on something which is thinking about it...very rarely. Surely today has been uneventful.
The mayor was kidnapping by his own office and Hotguy is randomly hiring a sidekick.
What in the world has happened today??
*Grian's pov*
So Hotguy is searching for a sidekick, what interesting timing.
Well, you cannot waste this opportunity to have fun, can you.
You prepare an outfit, you even have a perfect name for this.
Cuteguy.
...
You might have too many personas now... nah.
End of Chapter 4
#trafficblr#traffic smp#hermitblr#hermitcraft#grian#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#hotguy#poultry man#Cuteguy#hero villain god au
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Uhhhh what if Stan called like a year before Bill and Ford broke up but Bill was the one that answered the phone. TW SUICIDAL TW STANCEST!!!!!!
Stan's stiff fingers could barely feel the quarters he dragged to slot into the payphone. Three, one after the other. 75 cents. Not enough for a hot meal, not enough for more than a few miles in his car. Enough to change what was in his wallet from a side to a meal but on their own the coins didn't matter enough. It was okay, he just wanted to hear Stanford, that was worth more than 75 cents.
He felt the bones in his fingers as they pressed into the cold metal numbers - it was supposed to be warm in Florida, why the hell was it so cold? He didn't have to pull out the scrap of paper he'd written Ford's number on years ago - he knew it by heart, even if he kept it in his pocket anyway.
The phone rang twice before it picked up. "Yellow?" Stanford's voice intoned chipperly. No 'Dr. Stanford Pines' residence', no 'What's the purpose of this call?'. It was friendly, familiar. Was he waiting for someone else to call? Had he been waiting at the phone for someone and got his hopes up when it was only Stan?
Stan almost took the receiver away from his ear, almost put it back and wasted another 75 cents when Stanford's voice said, in the most knowing way: "Stanley."
Stan didn't know how Ford knew it was him - was he breathing too loud? Had he muttered something? Was this habit of his catching up to him? Stan tried to force his throat to open enough to let a word slip free, but then Stanford spoke again.
"You want something, don't you?" His voice didn't match the accusation, but it still made Stan wanna hurl.
"No-- I didn't - that's not why I called, I ain't some--" He lied through his ill-fitting dentures until Stanford cut him off.
"But you do want something. You want everything. You want S-- my attention. You want money, you want luck, you want a boat and you want me to drop everything so that my life can become providing you those things, don't you?"
"Moses - No, Ford! That's - I don't." The phone booth around him felt very cramped, and the light inside with the dark outside made it impossible to see outside the tiny space. "I-I just called to talk, okay? Nothing else, I swear." He felt like a kid pleading his case while already laid out on the curb.
"Talk, yes, you're a real talker, Stanley. I always hated that when we were little, you know, it was like I couldn't even get my thoughts out before you were blabbering on, taking all the attention you could grasp for while not saying a single thing of importance. But you can't talk your way out of being a bum, can you, Stanley?"
Stan wanted to hang up but at this point he was sitting on the cold ground letting the cold crawl into his skin and the hook was just out of reach. Ford knew? Some feeble, tiny part of him had always thought - thought if Ford knew how he was actually doing then Ford might care. That he was doing a good thing by not saying anything to Ma so no one would worry. But Ford knew. At least he knew part of it. He knew Stan was huddled in a phone booth spending some of his last quarters on a phonecall before going to find a side road to park in to sleep. Ford just didn't care.
"How much do you know?" The anger tried to reach his tone but the lump in his throat made the question a strangled whisper.
"Oh, I know a lot of things, Stanley Pines." Stanford's voice crooned mockingly, so clear over the phone it made Stan sick. "I know you've been living in your car since the day you were kicked out. I know you've got some interesting people tailing you. I know you've used that trick you learned with your tongue when we were fifteen on more men than you can count for pocket change so you could listen to me breathe for a minute." He said, tone so unaffected it made Stan wonder if the conversation was even real. Then Stanford said something that had his gut rolling.
"I know you didn't mean to break my machine." He said, so casually, as if he'd never thought he did it on purpose. "Of course you didn't - a plan like that to get me to stay close enough you could leech off me? You couldn't even think of something like that, could you, Stanley? No, you didn't mean to, but when it happened it clicked in your little pea brain that you'd get everything you wanted if you just let it be for once. So you let it happen. So I simply repaid the favor - let Dad beat your greasy face in and then throw you to the wolves. Your eyes for an eye, as the saying goes--"
"Fuck you." Stan spat, voice raw, thoughts scattered like broken glass.
"I think you've done enough fucking for the both of us, bruiser." Ford said amusedly. "Don't call again, your existence is a distraction I don't care to feed."
Stan wanted to say something - anything. But then the phone buzzed. Ford had hung up.
Stan screamed, throwing the receiver against the wall of the phone booth before leaving it to dangle while he threaded his hands in his hair. Ford knew everything - he knew everything and he couldn't give less of a fuck. Like he wasn't his brother, once. A brother that apparently talked too much around him but a brother regardless.
Now he wasn't anything to Ford, just a nuiscence on his land-line. Stan could die without a home or a family and Ford wouldn't care. Ford might even appreciate not getting the phone calls.
He thought of the revolver in his glove box with only one bullet. But he couldn't, today, because today's a Wednesday and Ma used to say it was her favorite day of the week because her soap opera that'd been running for as long as he could remember always had new episodes on Wednesdays and Stan and Ford would stay up half an hour past their bedtime to sit and watch the new episode with her. He couldn't ruin Wednesdays.
Could he even ruin Wednesdays? Or would Ma never think about that? Would she be glad, too, to not have the distraction?
He got up, and walked to his car. He couldn't feel his legs, or his hands, but he didn't think the cold had anything to do with it.
He sat down on the driver's side, and looked at his glove box.
Somewhere, on the other side of the country, a man with yellow eyes giggled as he sunk a fork into his hand over and over and over again, watching through the eye of a one-dollar bill as Stanley opened his glove box.
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Good morning, afternoon or evening. I saw that your requests were open and I wanted to take the opportunity to make you one with one.
We all know that Time and Twilight are related in some way. So, my request was about how Time and Twi would react to finding out that reader is their descendant with some family and obviously platonic fluff
This is so cute! I believe both would be like "girl dad mode on" hehe Thank you for the request, I hope you like it <3
I had been in the group for a short time. I’m not sure how I ended up here, or why, I just know that suddenly I was having to hang out with nine heroes from Hyrule who all had the same name. Okay, I can handle a little adventure, I may be a farm girl, but being a hero has always been a dream of mine, it’s in my blood. Literally.
From the moment that strange group told me their names, or rather, name, and explained that they came from different times, I was already sure that I was related to at least one of them. Well, at least I know that I’m descended from a hero named Link who saved Hyrule.
The only problem is that I have no idea which of them I’m related to, especially when they all look so similar and the timelines are so confusing! That’s why I decided to keep this information to myself until I knew for sure.
— Oh, Malon sent hugs to everyone. – Time said, as he read the letter recently delivered by the postman. I’m still curious about how he does it, but I’m more interested in the name unknown to me.
— Malon? Who is this?
— Oh, that’s right, you haven’t met her yet. Malon is my wife. – The Old Man answered me, with a somewhat proud smile on his face, he must love her very much.
— Oh, and she’s the owner of the LonLon Ranch, back in the Old Man’s era! – Wind added, this fact might be nothing more than a curiosity for most, but it ended up meaning more than that to me.
If Time is married to the owner of a ranch, it’s likely that his descendants inherited it, and over time it may have become my family’s ranch. Could the Hero of Time be my ancestor?
— Oh, and maybe you’ve already come to this conclusion too, but Twilight also comes from a ranch, it’s not for nothing that we call him Rancher. – The Champion completed, and only then did I realize the obvious.
But then, which one of them is my ancestor? I could try to find out more details about it, but it would take too long if I did it that way, so I decided to open my mouth, maybe they can help me.
— Well, then it’s likely that I’m a descendant of one of you two.
All eyes turned to me, I think the two in question almost broke their necks with that move. Was that really that surprising? Soon everyone was around me, curious.
— Why do you say that? – Time was the first to ask. Fair enough.
— Well, I always knew I was a descendant of a Link, I just didn’t know which one of you, and since I come from a ranch too, I think it’s quite likely.
— Why didn’t you say so before? – Twilight asked, I figured this question would come.
— I didn’t want to create expectations, or else I might upset everyone and not get any answers. But I still don’t know which of you two are my relatives.
A silence settled in as everyone looked at each other, as if they were deciding what to say. They knew something.
— Hm, how can we say this? – Warriors began. – Both of them!
I blinked in confusion, many doubts swirling in my mind. Both of them? But they were quicker to answer them.
— It turns out that I am a descendant of the Old Man, so either you are a descendant of him and my ancestor, or a descendant of both of us. – Twilight explained, and then things began to fall into place. Indeed, there were doubts in my family as to whether we were descendants of one or two Heroes, with this the answer becomes clear.
— In that case, I’m almost certain that both of you are my ancestors, I really wasn’t sure if I was descended from one or both of you. – I explained finally, reaching the final conclusion. Wow, a descendant of two Links, who would have thought.
They both looked at each other for a moment, they even seemed to be talking telepathically, but it seems that their choices of actions were mutual, because in the next second I was being crushed in a hug by two strong men. I can’t breathe, it’s definitely a hug worthy of a father.
I was finally released from the grip and able to breathe again, which I did dramatically, drawing laughter from some of the boys.
— I can hardly believe this, is this how you felt when you met me? – The Rancher asked Time, with a smile on his face.
— Hm, basically. Oh, Malon will love meeting you! I’ll write to her about it. – The old man seemed happier than I had ever seen him in the short time I had known him.
I myself was still processing all of this. I had not just met one of my ancestors, but two of them? Before I knew it, I was smiling like an idiot. It was like I now had two more dads. Even if one of them was almost my age, which was a little strange.
— Oh, when I can, I want to show you the family books about you, so you can check the information! – I said excitedly and they happily agreed with me.
— The food is ready! – Wind said, drawing their attention.
— Come, sit near us, we have a lot to talk about! – Twilight said, guiding me by the hand to the rest of the group.
— Yes, little one, tell us everything about you and your family. – Time completed, resting a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.
Who would have thought I would have such a cool family walking with me all this time.
#link x reader#linked universe x reader#linked universe#tloz#linked universe fanfic#lu x reader#x reader#legend of zelda
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sorry if this is a dumb question but when talking about the law of assumption, everyone says reality is made up of your assumptions, like you assume the sun will rise so it does but if that’s true how do things you don’t expect happen? like if you assume you’ll get up and go to work/school like normal but it gets cancelled out of no where (i can’t think of a better example sorry 😭)
First, this is not a dumb question! (No question is dumb unless it is 💀) THIS IS ACTUALLY A GOOD QUESTION!
Yeah so reality IS made up of ur assumptions. Literally try it for yourself cuz YOU have to prove it to yourself. You don't HAVE to manifest some desire of urs. It's can be anything such as seeing a particular colour cars (literally did it today lol cuz it's fun)
And for the "how do things you don't expect happen?" Part, I'd say either it's something you expected subconsciously or thought about somewhere, sometime but forgot. It might also be something you focused on (it doesn't have to be direct like if I use the example you gave let's say you didn't expected school to be cancelled today but you were focusing on the fact that it'll be great if it got cancelled maybe a few days ago or you were thinking of doing something else you might do that you end up doing in the time your school might have been)
The example you shared literally happened with me today 😭 (coincidence? I think not 😼) so I went to my tution today but it "unexpectedly" got cancelled! And I manifested that a few days ago too so it probably manifested again. And the fact that I didn't even thought about tuition today like i usually would yk (unconsciously imagining the room etc) i didn't did that today cuz I was excited to go to shopping 😍 lmao and it happened.
So I hope this answers your question 😭🩷
#loa tips#law of assumption motivation#law of assumption#law of assumption success#loa motivation#loa blog#loa tumblr#loablr#loassumption#loa success#loa#reality shifting#shifting motivation#shiftblr#instant manifestation#manifest#manifestation#master manifestor#master shifter#void state#i am state
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Same anon that talked about the former homo/transphobe thing.
Man, I'm interested in doing anything to my body but I really want one of this little moustaches that cis women are capable of having. Idk why my mom complains of hers I would kill to have that rn.
To have a woman's body and to yet have a moustache has gotta be greatest blessing I could receive as a bigender person :)
Do I have to take hormones for that or smth?
thanks for stopping by again!
you know, sometimes it's a coin toss. some people end up developing those mustaches regardless of taking HRT- you may have a chance to develop that as you age, but typically, testosterone is needed to help facilitate facial hair growth if it's not already happening. you may be able to take a fairly low dose and still develop that! i have heard from a lot of people that mustaches tend to fill in last out of all of your facial hair, which i can confirmed happened to me. even though i was on testosterone the entire time, my mustache only grew in on the corners of my lips and never really filled all the way out until i was around 30 or so. i've heard people say that a lot of folks mustaches only start filling in until they're 25 or older. that might be anecdotal, but i have definitely seen people develop mustaches as they age
this is a question for my followers: i've heard of people using topical DHT cream to help facilitate certain effects of HRT without getting them all- i've heard about people using DHT cream for bottom growth- does this help with facial hair growth, too? or should this anon look into topical/injectable testosterone?
hope we can get you some more answers! i'm glad that you love that, i also love when women have mustaches. i've always seen it as a very cool thing. i know a lot of women are shamed for it, but i think women should be allowed to grow facial hair freely, especially if their body naturally produces it without any intervention. thanks for stopping by again! if we get any more info for you, we'll be sure to publish it!
EDIT: some kind folks have told us that a lot of trans men and transmascs used topical minoxidil!
it is commonly sold under the brand name "rogain"! i highly recommend taking some time to look into it and see if it's right/safe for you! i've also been informed that it is extremely toxic to cats, so if you have cats, exercise caution, as even small traces of the residue can make them sick. good luck!
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"Will you finally let me help you back here then?" Ash joked at the years she forbade him from even coming around the counter here and pouring himself his own cup of coffee in the morning. It felt like Charlie could use all the help she can get now, and give him something else to do in the morning. A little hypocritical of her making him rest only for herself to need the same.
He let them melt into the embrace, saying more than their actual words could say but he responded anyways, "always." For reassurance, confirmation. When he said always, he meant it. It was the least he could do for her, from where he is, he couldn't support her like her brothers or Roman can, so the least he can do, is be here. He wanted to ask to be sure if they wanted to keep the baby, but knowing Charlie, he was almost certain the answer is yes. It was uncomfortable sitting in the reality that her life is at risk, even within the walls of safety. He returned the squeeze and place a kiss to the top of her head as they sat in the affirming silence for a moment before he asked his question.
Ash pulled back slightly only to meet her gaze after feeling her shake her head into his chest, he understood the fear considering he knew what her brothers are actually capable of. "Oh they're probably gonna be mad," as he always did, Ash didn't sugarcoat his words to her, she didn't need to be told a hopeful, pretty lie to make her feel better now instead of facing the truth and working towards a solution to that. "But you know they'll always love you Charlie, Jer.. Jer can never be mad at you for too long," his words were murmured with affection. He's seen the way that man caves to his baby sister. Charlie literally held out her anger longer on Ash than Jer has ever did for Charlie. "And JP might try and punch Roman, but kill him, I don't think so." Heck he'd punch Roman too if he hadn't had the time yesterday to work through his thoughts about the news himself. They were more words of truth than comfort.
"But you'll have to tell them sooner or later," like leaving the building or going to the roof, Ash gently told her what she needed to hear, "..do you want me to be there with you when you do?" He offered but it was said with a quiet hesitation - maybe it's not his place to be there, this is their family affair and he shouldn't get involved. Charlie always says he's family but realistically it's not the same, and these were one of those examples of that invisible line he doubted he's allowed to cross. But he didn't know how else to help her but be here. "I can help hold them back," he added in jest but he was pretty sure he could still try and hold them down if they really did get out of hand, even with one good arm.
"You're right about that." On top of all the extra work she'd had to do, morning sickness had started to kick in along with a general sort of lethargy she wasn't used to. It'd made everything that much more of a struggle, but it wasn't her style to complain about that sort of thing to everyone. They all had their own large fish to fry and the last thing she needed was to add any more for people to worry about. Had she not let it slip by accident she wouldn't even have told Ashton, though having him know was a decided relief.
The cup of coffee left on the counter after the few sips she'd allowed herself, was stared at longingly as he came around the other side, her eyes lifting instead to him as he froze with her confession. Letting out a sigh of appreciation as she found herself gathered up into his arms, Charlie hugged herself back around him with all that she had. "Thank you." It meant the world, it really did, and she was sure that he knew that.
Shaking her head against his chest, she refused for a moment to let go, but eventually did just enough so that she could look up at his face. "Not yet... They're going to be so mad, Ashton. Especially Jeremiah at me... but... I'm honestly kind of scared JP might try and like... kill Roman for it."
#mmmm sry that got longer than i thought#chuckled at the imagery of ash one-handedly arm locking one rose brother and sitting on the other in case they really try to go kill roman#ch: Charlie#;Charlie12#;Rosie's Diner#;March25th#wait i'm confused are we 26 or 25 march askdgahjsd
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What would be the main differences between a template forest and a tropical jungle for fantasy? I guess that things like iron armor pieces would never become a thing since historically they weren't popular in other hot climates, winters without snow might be less feared but summers with big floods might be more worrisome? I guess that cuisine and farming would also be massively different although I don't know exactly how.
Out of the top of my head:
Equatorial climates are notoriously stable, since it's always the same day lenght there are no seasons, especially if you live near the ocean which estabilizes the temperature. You will get dry and wet seasons (and sometimes even hurricane seasons) depending on particular geographic conditions
Tropical/subtropical climates often have harsher seasons the farther away from the ocean they are, but never snow (that's the difference actually; temperate climates can get snow, subtropical can get frost but not snow, tropical neither). So yes, in general in a tropical or subtropical the main difference between seasons is rain, and perhaps frost which does play a role in some plants like citrics. Rainforests, of course, get it all year, subtropical forests have dry and rainy seasons. You can see a mixture of both: in my home (Northern Argentina) we do get marked winters with ocassional frost, but the main fact is that they're dry compared to summer.
ANYWAYS. Cultural stuff! Yes, one of the main differences you will find is clothing. It's difficult to make generalizations, but overall, tropical cultures just wear less, if there is armor at all. Don't get mistaken and say that it's because they don't have metallurgy, though, it's just that metal armor is indeed heavy, hot, and not much use if the opponet isn't wearing anything either. At most, you would see padded cloth armor (cotton mostly) or hide/leather at most. If you look at soldiers from, for example, Mesoamerica or Southeast Asia, you will find little armor.
Similarily, while you can go wild with noble clothing and colors, and the preferred materials are indeed cotton or silk, you will find very simple clothes among the general population. To give you an idea, here's a sample of Aztec clothes (including armor!)
Note how simple and lightweight they are, even for rulers. They are colorful too (the artist, Daniel Parada, has more pictures like this for other cultures based on historical records) but although tropical enviroments might seem to have greater access to dyes, medieval european did also have dyes, often not as vibrant as carmine though.
Farming, of course, affects cuisine. I think that instead of thinking about a "pan-tropical" farming, we could analyze this by centers of origin of crops:
From Southeast Asia we got soy, several types of beans (or Fabaceae if you wanna get technical), all citrics, mango, banana, pear, cherry,, but this pales in comparison to rice, of course. Rice defines the tropical and subtropical diet of Asia, being what wheat is to the Mediterranean. Rice cultivation is particular in that is labor extensive, much more productive by area compared to other crops (so smaller plots) and requires extensive irrigation, resulting in complex managed enviroments.
From tropical America we got manioc, squashes (all sorts of curcubita actually), beans, peppers, pineapples, papaya, so much more, but it's especifically from Mesoamerica we got corn, and from the Andes we got potatoes. Potatoes are key in cold climates. Meanwhile, the corn-beans-squash trio, that is known in North America as "three sisters" and in Latin America as "milpa" is spread all over the continent. These three kinds of plants are very adaptable to tropical and subtropical conditions, and combined are very productive.
I will admit that my knowledge about tropical Africa is less than ideal. There are native species of rice that can be found in Western Africa, Ethiopia has traditionally grown barley and sorghum (and is the home of coffee), and millet, like corn for the Americas, seem to be widespread.
As for spices, tropical areas do seem to be blessed with spices, this is true. I recommend this guy to tell you about it. Hell, I recommend his channel in general.
What IS a common theme, regardless, is that jungles are NOT pristine enviroments or wild enviroments untouched by human activity. Jungles have been managed, in overt ways (like for example, rice cultivation) or more subtle ways (planting domesticated species inside the forest) for thousands of years. This is also done by controlled burns, conscious planting, or even accidental things, like, for example, peoples settling in a place and bringing domesticated plants to that place that then grow semi-wildly.
THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING TO TALK ABOUT BECAUSE EVEN IF I STUDY THIS EXACT THING, I HAVE NO REAL DEFINITION OF IT YOU CAN SEARCH. You can find about this phenomenon of "humans managing and changing forest enviroments" by lots of terms, like agroforestry, silviculture, and so many more. The term I use is "landscape management" (no, not "landscaping") where a "landscape" is a term for an enviroment were both humans and natural factors build it (like I said, there is no thing as "pristine nature" ALL natural enviroments have been managed and modified by humans, and you can find evidence of that in tropical America, Asia, and Africa).
In fact, the reason why those enviroments seem "natural" and unchanged to Western views is precisely, because tropical cultures often use wood and adobe to build structures (if they have them at all), which don'r preserve well at all. But also, jungles are fast growing and often eat everything, remaining, interestingly, these subtle domestication and managment efforts in what once were thriving settlements.
Which doesn't mean you haven't tropical cultures to study. THERE ARE PLENTY. You got, like I said, the whole of tropical America, tropical Africa, and tropical Asia and Oceania. It is getting very difficult to me to generalize, and yet, one can see some similarities.
Since this post is general enough, I encourage you to ask more about what you want. What would you like me to focus on?
oh, and you can throw me a tip, if you want! Sorry for selling out, but I'm living under an insane libertarian president right now, so every bit helps!
#worldbuilding#sorry this is such a rant#but I hope it might be useful for you to get questions I can answer better!#biotipo worldbuilding
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On tumblr when you post you’re just playing Russian roulette with your post getting attention, but it’ll probably get ignored.
On Reddit any comment you make outside of some very niche community will immediately have someone downvoting you and calling you like, three different insults. Then they will wonder why you only log in every couple months. Like, it’s a very helpful website when you have a question for another community you’re in, but you’ll also get someone being immediately hostile when you make an innocuous post on a garden subreddit 😑
At least on tumblr people have to actually seek out your random ass text posts and go out of their way to start shit, and you don’t have the up and down vote system that feels like playing with my self confidence and worth issues.
Both websites are toxic part of the time (what social media isn’t?) and both are actually more useful for weird people, but holy shit does Reddit feel more aggressive about shit. Maybe it’s just the devil you know, but at least on this mess of a website half your hate will be for the most random shit and misunderstandings that people have to seek out finding if your blog is a normal size. Reddit is either posting on a dead sub or getting immediately thrown to the, well, sharks and wolves aren’t actually super aggressive towards humans under normal circumstances, so something else that could tear you apart instantly for just existing in the same space as them.
#emma posts#there’s a reason i stopped spending as much time on that site#multiple actually. but one of them is that website is like ‘rsd trigger simulator’#and tumblr is like ‘how dare you say we piss on the poor’#everyone is an idiot in both places. but one is instantly more volatile#it’s preactically on sight#other social media is mostly being used by me to post my art or talk to irl friends and family#some of those sites are wild. but not in such an instant way#provided you aren’t huge or have some internet hate stalker#my first deviantart account was wild like that. you phrase something awkwardly at the age of 13 and you suddenly have one or two 16ish year#olds stalking you and telling you to Kys and threatening your family#but that was in the old days. haven’t run into that in years#but seriously. whoever those people were. I hope you feel like shit about those past actions#especially because that 13 year old had made art and posts about her depression 😑#and irl bullying#I hope you got better. sincerely. but if not? die#jk. but still#actually. no. if you’re still telling people that sort of thing try it on yourself#i don’t have a twitter. I don’t plan on getting one. but I’ve heard that’s toxic too. but for the brief time I did try it years ago I was#just ignored by most people#I also like websites where you can share other posts with followers but that might be because one of my first socials was facebook#Facebook is still useful for local stuff. but it’s not as anonymous I guess#even on Facebook though it feels somewhat less ‘on sight’ attacking#but gods. the ‘piss poor reading comprehension’ website is so much more comfortable than the ‘dog piled for asking about a plant’ website#and the ‘just block them’ culture is so useful#i make a post on Reddit like ‘anyone know of houseplants that are like this?’ and have some dude downvote me and respond like#‘are we supposed to be your servants’ like dude. just ignore the post if you don’t want to answer the question#and I’m not touching anime subs with a 10ft pole#looked at one once and went ‘never touching that again’
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Questions are being taken until after episode 8 airs!
Thank goodness someone already asked about the necklace so I don't have to do it myself. I enjoyed all the questions about Kongming's headwear logistics and Maezono Keiji's shorts too.
A+ great show, great fandom, great thighs on Sekiguchi Mandy.
#paripi koumei#ya boy kongming#ya boy kongming!#no but seriously i hope they answer the necklace question because i want to understand whyyyyy#you can go 'oh it's completing the costume' for kongming's inflitration#but it's the set kobayashi wears in every other present-day scene#so like ???#did kongming NEED to wear both necklaces? or any at all? it's a flashy suit and besides does kobayashi have absolutely no others?#this is on top of the whole suit thing to begin with mind you#i genuinely want to know the non-gay answer#the idea of a talisman might work i guess? but idk man#anyway i'm really living my best life thanks to this drama#there were some good interviews out this week too like the one with the costume designer that was like#'you absolutely couldn't put kongming's outfit into a dryer like that and have it survive. at least use a bag!'#(not exact quote of course but you get the gist)#all the staff and cast interviews have been so good#what will i do in 2 weeks?? :(#i definitely want confirmation re: which items eiko wears that were actually moka's personal clothing & accessories it's all so cute#i need to shut up and go to sleep zzz
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