#but I haven't read them
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Sometimes you don't have time to do anything with a story idea, but it's fun to think about anyway
#exciting times on the sand seas#maybe someday I'll write something like this#with sand ships and steeds and giant sandworms in hot pursuit#it would be such fun to mashup the genres like that#pirates & cowboys#writing prompts#if anyone else feels similarly inspired then go for it#I'm sure there are already stories out there vaguely along these lines#but I haven't read them#and they deserve to exist#writer life#cowboys#pirates#story seeds
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See my Charlie Day conspiracy theory board moment is Stacker Pentacosr and Herc having a romantic relationship!!!!
All the other Jaeger pilots we get introduced to have a familial relationship with each other. Raleigh and Yancy are brothers, Herc and Chuck are father and son, the Wu triplets and then the Russians. The first time we see non-familial drift partners is with Raleigh and Mako. Now, you can read them however you wish, but to me it's heavily implied that they're slowly building up to be a couple. So, what does this have to do with Herc and Stacker? They were drift partners!!!!
How do I know this? Well, after Herc gets injured and can't pilot with Chuck anymore, Chuck wonders how that's going to impact the mission. Stacker says that he'll be Chuck's co-pilot. "You're your father's son, so we'll drift just fine."
So anyways Herc and Stacker were/are in a romantic relationship because they are drift compatible
we as a society got over Pacific Rim too fast.
- banging soundtrack just awesome
- lead female character with her own fully realized arc that had nothing to do with a love interest
- the concept of drifting is so fucking cool and prime fanfic material
- those two gay fucking weirdo scientists who drifted together inside a fucking alien brain like hello
- IT PULLS OUT A SWORD IN OUTER FUCKING SPACE
- kaijus are cool. that's all.
#anyways#this is also purely movie based thoughts#i know there's a short book or two out there that might change some of this information#but I haven't read them
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THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE (emotional damage that is)
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#comic#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#art#my art#susie deltarune#chara#you thought we were done with the trauma?#I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED#i had this idea of mind-reading parasites that take the form of the traditional comedy masks for a while now#originally they were more sack shaped#they were based on the bags of dirt in asgore's store#mainly because I wanted to call em “sad sacks”#but then I questioned myself why they should be here of all places#I then turned them into the kinda clamps that keep glass displays together and stable#because that is what the labyrinth is#it's the glass display in asgore's shop
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Hello Adam Warlock nation 🧡
#adam warlock#peter quill#star lord#quillock#marvel rivals#I'm not drawing all those lines ever again. I need them to give Rivals Adam his comic costumes so I can just put him in those#2025 year of quillock... I haven't drawn them in sooo long :') I've missed them#its been fun seeing more people get into Adam because of the game hello everybody. please read Warlock by Jim Starlin#art#oh also new fans my main is adamwarlock btw. go there for more adam 👈
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turtle jenga
flats/alt! ⤵️
#can't believe i haven't drawn the little premutation bros before#i love them they're so squishy#turtle stack <3#anyway get it jenga? they depend on eachother for stability and when one of them is taken out of the equation they fall apart#<- half asleep reading into my own doodle#anyway 💅#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#rise donnie#my art#explodingstar art#rise mikey#rise leo#rise raph#turtle tots#tmnt turtle tots
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maybe they're not maineventing today
but they have definitely been the main event of my year 🤭 joking not joking
#drew mcintyre#cm punk#wwe#wwe fanart#punkintyre#drewpunk#me obsessively watching pro wrestling was not on my 2024 bingo card...#i haven't been so hyperfixated on anything since my first golden kamuy read back in 2019#their feud probably ends today and i just finished my first drawing of them lol why am i like this#been sitting in the fandom quietly for almost what.. 8 month now??? was slowly losing my mind on the sideblog. yeah.
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my favourite thing about chuuya nakahara is that he's just kind of. chill. about everything. he's like, my tragic backstory has no hold on me, i went to therapy and i'm all good now. i'm a bad guy cuz it pays good and my found family happens to be here. what do you mean that's not a good reason, you a cop or something?
someone will betray him and he'll go ok well that's pretty upsetting. they probably had a good reason though. i'll forgive them if they let me get a good punch in. if they're really just a hater they're giving me bad vibes and i don't wanna deal with 'em at all tbh.
things have been done to him that would warrant a lifelong crusade of revenge for anyone else, but for chuuya nakahara it's just, that was super not cool but i'll let it slide if you get therapy with me.
chuuya is down for any crime and thinks moral boundaries are for losers and stuff but he's the nicest guy in the port mafia when it comes to not mistreating his subordinates and probably helps old ladies cross the street. he shows up for a solid 10-20 minutes of screentime per season and makes all the fans fall in love with him while doing the bare minimum, and despite technically being a villain i don't think he's worked against the agency a single time (although to be fair this is often not on purpose). he also does the bare minimum every time he's asked to help in-universe and clearly isn't even trying, and he sweeps anyway because he is ridiculously overpowered and could probably kill literally everyone if he actually wanted to, and i just. no one is doing it like him. you go you unbothered king.
#i haven't gotten around to reading stormbringer yet (although i have read some spoilers) so this may not be entirely accurate#but these are the vibes i get from him from what i do know and i love them#guy who could probably destroy or take over the entire world if he really wanted to but he's too cool for that#he just wants to day drink and look fabulous and make lesbians swoon#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara
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im obsessed with andreil winning every fucking queer tournament in existence this niche book not only seems to have a huge fansebase but also the main couple hits like coke and has everyone on a leash nora could dominate the whole world
#reading this post seems like i just discovered aftg like i haven't been in the trenches for over 10 years lmao#andreil#andrew minyard#neil josten#all for the game#aftg#the foxhole court#tfc#i love them your honor i love the deranged kids
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Peepaw Starlo struggles. Autism 2 autism communication struggles.
#undertale yellow#uty#uty au#lucky clover au#frisk ut#starlo uty#ceroba uty#martlet uty#dalv uty#feisty four uty#the cowboy hat draws#FALLS OVER. THIS TOOK OVER A MONTH.#Mostly because of being busy IRL but also because I decided on a new rendering method#Aaaand it was ten times as time consuming and I don't like the end result at all. LMAO. You live and learn I suppose#I hope this is comprehensible um. I think a lot about Starlo being so used to understanding Clover easily and being one of their favorites#And going to Frisk and 1. not really understanding how they communicate and 2. feeling like he isn't their favorite LOL#Idk how well that reads but! Peepaw Starlo musings#Starlo tries his best and doesn't always get it right but he's in a better place now#I know Clover's absence feels very strange here but I just couldn't find a place to put them oops.#Drawing this made me realize I really gotta practice my backgrounds. Hough. Definitely in the new year!#Also I haven't played poker in years so anything that's wrong? Uh monster poker is different. Yup. Thumbs up emoji
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My favorite Drarry fanfics that i read in 2024
Another year, another bunch of Drarry fics! Like in 2022 and 2023, here is the list of the fics that made 2024 such a cool year to me. Thanks to the writers for making me happy with these wonderful stories of my favorite boys <3
More than one chapter:
Dwelling by aideomai (83k)
In Every Universe by @skeptiquewrites (27k)
Can I tell you something? by GallaPlacidia (33k)
A Big Black Sky by alexmeg (90k)
All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (114k)
Harry Potter: DILF Hunter by @vukovich (11k)
What We Pretend We Can't See by @gyzym (131k)
The Day Before the Wedding by @kbrick (39k)
Eclipse by Mijan (287k)
Secrets by Vorabiza (395k)
Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 (302k)
Finely Drawn Lines by @the-sinking-ship (61k)
A Pocket Full of Stones by @amywaterwings (67k)
The Devil's White Knight by orphan_account (64k)
One-shots:
Truth or Dare? by @lettersbyelise (3k)
Always the Last to Know by @nv-md (10k)
Lovesick by @corvuscrowned (7k)
Tangled Up in Midnight Memories (and you) by @ronbinary (8k)
Seven Ways to Get Harry Potter Hard (in Public) by @curleecue (7k)
Ten Thousand Reasons Why Not by @lqtraintracks (8k)
telepathy by @hogwartsfirebolt (2k)
Howl by @tackytigerfic (8k)
Let’s go dip it low (then you bring it up slow) by @andithiel (3k)
The Boy Who Only Lived Twice by @letteredlettered (54k)
Who Shagged Harry Potter? by @faith2wood (6k)
#they're not in order of preference#if you haven't read one you SHOULD! go do it#some are a bit old but i wanted to read the ones that i always see recommended#needless to say i loved them all#happy new year everyone! <3#drarry#drarry fanfic#drarry fic#fic rec#drarry fic rec
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I'm trying to start a movement here
[ID: The first 3 images are edited versions of the "Let's take ibuprofen together" meme. The captions now say "Let's read shoujo together". They each show a person holding their hand out to the viewer; a character from the series Benigyokuzui, Mob from Mob Psycho 100, and Jerma. / end ID]
ID provided by @siroofington thank you so much
#and don't even think shoujo is just romance. you cant even begin to understand the rich world of shoujo. join me in this beautiful journey.#let's read shoujo together#<my tags from that other shoujo post#i was definitely referencing the let's take ibuprofen together meme#gi talks#shoujo#anime#shounen#my happy marriage#natsume yuujinchou#akatsuki no yona#requiem of the rose king#colette decides to die#basara#just tagging a few off the top of my head that don't include only romance so more people can check them out#i haven't read all of them but i heard great thinga#josei#josei is also a dying art form and i'll just lump josei and shoujo together tbh#kimi ni todoke#1k#gi talks animanga#1#b
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feel like kaveh has moments where he’s like wait alhaitham is just as cute as he was all those years ago…….and then he opens his mouth
#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#haikaveh#genshin impact#unrelated to the art but i read the cyno story quest leaks ft haikaveh today and haven't known peace since#i'm about to be so normal about them#my thoughts on them are over on twt if you're interested!
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my take on the whole "dean was parentified" narrative and where that slippery slope usually takes people ("sam was spoiled as a kid and dean shielded him from all harm") is that many people can't comprehend that dean was in fact parentified, but that doesn't mean he was sam's father. sam had a father, and it was john.
nor does it mean sam was spoiled or babied by either of them. canon doesn't support this interpretation despite it being so popular in the fandom.
dean was parentified in the sense that he had responsibilies and stressors that weren't appropriate for his age and his role as a son... but that doesn't change the fact that his relationship with sam was that of a brother, not a parent.
at one point dean says "I had to be more than just a brother. I had to be a father, and I had to be a mother." and his feelings of overwhelm and resentment are valid—their childhoods were difficult, stressful, and abnormal.
however, this doesn't mean "john was absolutely useless and neglectful, so he was completely out of the picture. dean was indeed sam's father and mother. and he fulfilled those roles so well that sam had a happy, easy childhood and he was freed from any parent-related trauma, since dean was his parent, and he did a stellar job at it"... you know?
parentified siblings are siblings after all (and sam and dean only have a 4-year age gap). and dean did "fail" in his parentified role—sometimes he fucked up, sometimes he was the one hurting sam. in many ways, he didn't understand sam's needs or how to fulfill them. which is understandable. and he definitely couldn't shield sam from the difficulties they both had to face. that was well beyond his capability after all
on top of that, sam was taught self-reliance from a young age and he was exposed to the hardships of their lifestyle just like dean (hardships in general since he was born, and hunter-related ones since he was eight). and most of the glimpses we get of sam as a child/teen show a lonely, sad, troubled person. where's the pampered and unconcerned child!sam people keep hallucinating?
deep down, the issue is that people seem to put sam and dean on a seesaw and weight their problems and traumas against each other. if we say sam had a shitty childhood, then we're somehow denying dean's traumas and sacrifices. and if we believe dean suffered a lot in his youth, then that must mean sam had everything served on a silver platter. and that makes no sense.
#parentified dean discourse#weechesters#I've seen some posts on my dash about this but I haven't read them all fully. so I'm sorry if maybe someone has said all of this before lol#⚝
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There's this way of doing female-ness in Christianity that I call "pastel flower journal Christianity." I've got nothing against pastel flower journals per se, but for some reason people believe it's the end all and be all of female spirituality, and I think it's a real disservice towards young Christian women.
One of these days I'd like to start a prayer-and-reading group or something for young women, but there would be no floral themes or over-focus on how "God thinks you're beautiful even if the world doesn't" (a true statement, but it's wayyyyy too often the focus in women's spiritual reading). Instead we would be reading:
Seneca's Letters from a Stoic
Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning
Sheed's A Map of Life
Portions of Pieper's book on leisure
Kreeft's Three Philosophies of Life
Guardini's The Lord (or something similar)
Therese's Story of a Soul
and some select portions of the Nicomachean Ethics.
(Also they're all getting the porn talk. I don't know why we give the porn talk to young men but not young women. There's this idea that women don't use porn and they only need the talk about "guarding their heart." Bullshit. There's porn on the YA shelves of Barnes and Nobles and before that there were bodice rippers. Young women need the porn talk too.)
Every young woman needs to be getting a basic grounding in virtue ethics, logic, natural law, scholastic philosophy and Biblical hermeneutics if they're going to get by in today's spiritual landscape. Enough faffery and emotionalism in young women's spiritual education! Give them real food to chew on, not pasty sentimentalism!
#Christian femininity#Christian women#Christian#Christianity#Catholicism#Catholic women#Catholic femininity#Catholic feminism#Catholic#I'm sure there should be something by Stein on this list but I haven't read her stuff yet#Anyway if I could shove one book into the hands of every young woman on this site#it would be either Letters from a Stoic or Man's Search for Meaning.#I think a lot of women on this site could benefit from those two books alone.#Much of the way we treat women's sense of spirituality and ethics is trusting them to just blindly feel their way to the right answer#While we give young men clear-cut instructions and reasoning.#It's bullshit. And it's actively harmful. I would never say feelings are useless#but without a well-formed intellect and conscience they're just not going to carry you as far as you need to go on their own.#I had the value of a good moral and philosophical education because of where I went to school—same as the boys in my class.#And it's spared me so much grief. People put the tools in my hands to make smart decisions and empowered me to seek the good.#All young women deserve the same.
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"a fact so true, so loud, that he can’t believe he’d been able to hear anything else before now." (fic by @campbyler)
#i love them so much my god i literally yelled at the sketchbook scene#if you haven't read acswy yet please do! its so well done and incredible and jawdropping go read it!#also thea wiseatom and suni astrobi maybe i am trying to kill you guys just a little bit with my LOVE!! <3 <3#mike wheeler#will byers#byler fanart#byler#acswy#sammi's art
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This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.
It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:
At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:
Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.
In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:
Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?
Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.
I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:
Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.
Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.
Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.
And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.
Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.
Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.
I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.
I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.
And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.
Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.
It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.
So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.
He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.
And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).
So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.
What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.
Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.
When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:
Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.
This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.
I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.
But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.
And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.
Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.
Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.
And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.
#this episode broke me in ways i wasn't ready for because of style's backstory so fair warning there's no level of objectivity whatsoever#i'm sure much as already been said about this line and this moment and i'm sorry if i'm just repeating someone else (please let me know!)#i haven't had the time or physical OR emotional capacity to actually read any meta on episode 5#so i apologise in advance if i screwed up anything but these are just my (somewhat disjointed and very emotionally driven) thoughts#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#fadelstyle#style sattawat#fadel#thk ep 5#thk meta#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#i understand why dunk said this scene was so hard and weighty and was his favourite now#(or at least i think this was the one he means?? I vaguely remember an interview where dunk talked about them talking#before they have sex and how emotionally charged it was)#i'll have to go through my tags and see if i talked about it#but either way our boys both did such excellent jobs this episode#as they have been doing every episode but each time i really am just... newly awed by their talent and my adoration for them grows <3#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai
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