#but I gotta have these two ugly cry first

[djsherriff-responses]

i hope people don't mind shitposts for now, because once I've read the yaoi manga it's over for you Laserfrog shippers

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HCs: Ken meeting a Human!Fem!Reader who owns a ranch

Wanted to write something for this movie bc it’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past two days. So enjoy, lovelies! 

I’m taking requests for this movie so don’t be shy <3 

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

...........

After going back to the Real World to find a purpose for himself, Ken runs into you, a country girl who left the Mattel company to take care of your ranch.

You just stopped in the city to find new outfits..and instead found him rollerblading through the park, immediately recognizing him as a Ken.

You may not be in the company anymore but you just knew (especially with his vibrant outfit giving it away).

You two hit it off right away and eventually you go shopping together.

He gets a new cowboy outfit and is bashful when you pay for it (to which you reply that you..really didn’t have a choice in the matter, as he had no money).

He’s like “ohh that happened before when I was with Barbie..we got arrested for the second time that day :D”

You’re very concerned and decide that he should stick with you from now on (not that anyone at Mattel would ever care about a Ken running around to begin with...you just didn’t wanna have to bail him out of jail).

On the truck ride back to your home, you mentioned owning a ranch and Ken’s in a w e

You tell him more about it, and he’s so intrigued and can’t stop staring at you the entire time, especially as you go on about how a lot of women in your world are cowgirls and how they aren’t represented enough.

He bluntly states that he once believed “patriarchy” was all about the horses and you nearly laughed, but he seemed sad about it, so you assure him if he wanted to see horses, he made the right decision coming with you.

You introduce him to one of your favorite steeds and he’s SO overjoyed to actually see one in person. Like petting its mane and asking dozens of questions like an excited kid.

“Are you sure Barbieland didn’t have any horses of their own?”

“No, we just have the ones on sticks and our imaginations.” He pouts, mimicking the way he rode invisible horses with his hands. “But this? This is WAY cooler!!”

He tries mounting your horse, envisioning himself riding off into the sunset, free as a bird while shouting “yeehaw” at the top of his lungs-

Only for it to rear its head up and nearly stomp on his foot, with you having to calm it down as he snaps back to reality, looking utterly distraught and stressed over upsetting it.

“Alrighty. Ken. If you wanna ride a horse..the first step is earning its respect. Thought you would’ve learned about that in those books....but if you’ll let me, I’ll show you how to properly mount one. Luckily this one here’s accustomed to double riders.”

His face lights up and he listens to every instruction you give him, from placing the saddle on its back to climbing on, and finally how to control the direction he wants it to go.

For this one time, however, you take the reins and let him sit behind you, hugging you a bit too tightly for your liking, but you allow it as you show him around the rest of your ranch.

He just likes the closeness fr and you.

By the time the day’s over, your horse got better acquainted with Ken and let him ride around for a little while before you gotta put it in the stable for the night.

Before he could worry about where he was gonna go, you tell him he can stay with you as long as he wants.

He’s so happy he just,,,,breaks down ugly crying into your arms.

Though he quickly apologizes, admitting he’s still getting used to crying freely and being more emotional and-

“It’s okay, Ken.” You reassure him. “We need more guys like that around here who ain’t afraid to shed a tear or two.”

“Th-Thanks...Barbie told me it’s an amazing feeling. And honestly..it kinda is.”

After that small heart-to-heart talk, he gifts you his horseshoe necklace as a sign of his appreciation, that dopey grin returning to his face when you take it and wear it right away.

Yeah, you’ve only met each other for a day and he’s smitten the moment you started treated him as an equal. You let him have his own room, bed, wardrobe, etc. (and in time he'll have his own horse too).

All you ask is that he helps you manage the ranch, but at this point he’s willing to do anything for you now.

Finally, he realizes this was his dream all along.

One that Barbieland couldn't provide, but that was alright.

Patriarchy is overrated, anyways. This was all he wanted.

[darlingsfandom]

hi! I actually am obsessed with your Cillian AUs... could you do a dilfy cillian? Like a dad's best friend type thing? Can literally be anything... Smut, fluff or both!!! Thanks!

Hi!! Really 🥺🥺? That’s so sweet💕

TW: Swearing, p in v, unprotected sex, cream pie!

“Son of a bit-“ You yelled as the front door slammed behind you.

“Language !” Your father yelled from the kitchen.

“Come on lad, she’s a grown woman now, let ‘er swear, she’s clearly upset.” You recognized that voice. You walked into the kitchen to find your dad making dinner while his best friend sat at the table talking to him. Cillian had been your dad’s best friend since they went to college together. Cillian was always around while you were growing up and it did start as something innocent: a school girl crush! However the older you got the worse it became. As far as he knew you were just his best friends daughter!

To be fair you had went to Cillian for some advice that you’d never ask your father! You asked him about how to have your first kiss, how to tell if a boy really likes you, is smoking as bad as everyone makes it out to be? Of course Cillian always did his best to answer because he understood why you wouldn’t ask your father these things.

“What’s got you so upset?” Your father asked as you stood in the door frame with your arms crossed over your chest.

“It’s nick!”

“Who’s nick ?” Cillian asked.

“Her ex boyfriend ! You two split over a month ago, why are you still talking about him?” Your father never liked him because of how he treated you.

“The son of a bitch had the nerve to call me and ask for me back! But that’s because the girl he cheated on me with and left me for went and cheated on him with his best friend, who just so happened to be dating my friend !” You pinched the bridge of your nose before making your way to grab a drink.

“You didn’t take him back did ya?” Cillian asked as you plopped down in the chair across from him.

“Listen I’ve done stupid things but I’m not stupid enough to take that fucker back!” You sighed before opening your drink and taking a sip.

“Good! Now do me a favor, keep an eye on dinner. I gotta pee.” Your father walked out of the kitchen leaving you and Cillian alone.

You took another sip before a soft sigh left your lips. Cillian leaned back in his chair before he got up and stood next to you. He opened his arms and you knew what that meant. You stood up and wrapped your arms around him while he wrapped his arms around you. This wasn’t the first time he comforted you. There was the time you were going on your first date but got stood up! The time you came home crying because a group of boys called you ugly! When you were getting ready for prom and your date canceled last minute so he took you instead! Cillians always been there for you, but now that you’re almost pushing thirty it feels different. Cillians sixteen years older than you and it’s been harder lately to find a man like him.

“Ya know, yer to good fer these boys to be breakin yer heart .” Cillian kissed the top of your head while rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“That’s because they’re not you.” You mumbled before looking up at him with soft eyes. His eyes went wide before he focused in on you. He placed his hand against your cheek and rubbed circled with his thumb.

“Then why haven’t ya asked?” Cillian lifted your chin with his index finger and leaned in close enough to breathe against your lips. You breathed hard before leaning in to close the gap. His lips were plush and wet as you moved yours against his. It was like having a first kiss all over again, the butterflies in your stomach swirled, your hands ran over his back and your knees went weak. You could’ve kept your lips on his but as you went to pull away slowly, you ended up pushing him off because your father had come out of the bathroom whistling.

“You two catching up ?” He asked as he went back to making dinner.

“Yeah.” You huffed before storming out of the kitchen.

“What’s that all about?” Your father asked.

“Probably still upset about tat ex of hers.” Cillian shrugged before looking out the door way only to find you standing there biting your lip. “I tink I’ll go check on her make sure she’s okay.” He slowly made his way out of the kitchen until he was with you at the bottom of the stairs. You grabbed his hand and lead him to your bedroom.

“Very different tis time, last time ya had pink ponies everywhere.” He chuckled.

“I was a little girl than Cillian.” You rolled your eyes playfully before sitting on the end of your bed. Cillian sat down next to you and grabbed your knee. You leaned back in towards him and pressed your lips against his. Cillian cupped your face with his free hand while moving his lips against yours. Desire ran through your body while you climbed into his lap to which he held your hips to help keep you balanced.

“We shouldn’t do this…” He mumbled into the side of your neck while leaving open mouthed kisses “I’m old enough to be your dad! I watched you grow up!”

“And yet you’re still here!” Your nails dug into his arms. Cillian looked at you with lustful eyes. You grabbed the bottom of your shirt and took it off to show him your bra to which his hands instantly reached around to uncollapse it . His eyes went wide looking at your nipples and all you could do was grab his hands and place them on your breasts.

“Fuck baby, you really did grow up.” His fingers slowly massaged your tits making you moan quietly. You watched his fingers move to your nipples and the way you pulled of them made your skin covered in goose bumps. “Such beautiful tits!” His mouth slowly wrapped around one nipple while his fingers toyed with the other nipple.

“Oh Cillian! It’s feels so nice.” Your hand ran through his hair.

“If you think tat feels good honey, wait until I’m licking tat pussy of yours .” Cillian kissed your breasts all over before making his way up your neck and up to your lips. He slowly pushed you back against the sheets before grabbing your waistband on your shorts and pulling them down. “Oh sweetie, look at tat, I’ve barely touched ya and ya got a big wet spot on yer panties, naughty girl!” He hooked his fingers into the side of the fabric and pulled them down to expose your soft hairy pussy to him. “Look at your pussy honey, looks good enough to eat.” Cillian laid on his stomach , hooked his arms around your thighs and slowly licked up your folds as he kept eye contact with you.

“Fuck! Cillian!” You whined holding your own tits. You watched as his tongue disappeared into your pussy. Cillian started slow to get every inch of you swirling his tongue around to coat his tongue in your sweetness. He hadn’t had such delicious pussy in awhile. Last time you seen him he was getting his divorce finalized so this was fine, even if you had dreamed about fucking him while he was married both of you knew better .

“That’s it, feels so good sir!” Cillian perked up at the nickname before burying his face deep inside your pussy, his nose brushing your clit, a small bit of his hair fell in his face as you devoured you. He smirked as you ran your nails through your hair, feeling his tongue lap over your folds made your thighs twitch.

“Good girl!” He mumbled inside of you before pulling back. The sudden loss of his tongue made you whine.

“Aww do you miss my tongue already sweetheart?” He teased you before climbing on top of you so he could kiss you. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you swirled your tongue with his. “I got something better for ya, something I tink ya wanted for a long time.” You watched as he moved back enough to unzip his pants, push down his boxers and pull out his fuzzy cock.

“Oh my god!” You grinned ear to ear as your mouth dropped when Cillian stroked his fat cock.

“It’s all yours honey.” Your legs spread open eagerly as he moved closer to you. Cillian teased the head of his cock against your folds before slowly pushing in.

“Fuck!” You cried out before Cillian put his hand over your mouth.

“Shh sweetie, don’t need yer father finding us. Don’t think he’d like seeing his little girl getting stuffed with his best friends cock!” Those words shouldn’t have made you as wet as they did. You nodded slowly before Cillian pushed his cock all the way in you making you gasp against his hand.

“Knew it would be a good idea to keep me hand over yer pretty mouth.” His cock stretched you in a way you’ve never felt. “Fuck sweetie, are you sure yer not a virgin anymore ? Yer pussys so tight.” You nodded. It’s true that you did loose your virginity your first year of college and have had a few hook ups here and there, plus Nick but he never even made you cum in the first place.

Your thoughts were gone in seconds once you felt Cillian slowly pull out and push quickly back in. He held his hand over your mouth as he thrusted into you. You whined against his hand while he grunted above you. It was everything you had fantasized about, the way he fucked you like he cared for you, the way he groaned as he looked into your eyes, he’s always been your dream man.

Cillian used his free hand to reach between your bodies and rub your clit as he picked up the pace on his thrusting. Your legs instantly went up and wrapped around his waist as your eyes rolled back.

“No no sweetie, keep your eyes open!” He gave you a small smack with the hand he had over your mouth. “Want ya to keep eye contact when I make ya cum on me cock honey .”

You laid there with your legs around his waist as he shifted slightly to get in a deeper angle. He was hitting a spot you’ve never felt before. A small whine left your lips as Cillian pounded into your pussy. He was a grunting mess above you as his mouth hung open, eyes glazed over and balls deep inside of you.

“Fuck me sir! Fuck! Your cock feels so good inside of me! My pussy was made for your cock.” You moaned quietly as he took away his hand to pin you down so he could drill into you harder.

Both of you had that look in your eyes, your bodies felt like they were on fire! His movements were getting sloppy as his fingers on your clit went harder making you grip the sheets with your hands.

“Dats it honey , cum on me cock, be me good girl ya? Show me how good ya really are!” He teased you as the coil in your body snapped causing a soft scream to leave your lips. Cillian covered your mouth again as he watched your creamy orgasm coat his cock. You kept eye contact with him as your orgasm washed over you. His own orgasm followed yours! He came with a loud grunt and coated your cervix with the sticky liquid .

“Fuck, ya really are a good girl, letting me cum in her pussy. Could knock ya up!” He chuckled before pulling out to admire the creamy substance that coated his cock and fuzz. Before he could fully get off the bed, you were moving as fast as you could to wrap your mouth around his cock.

“Oh ya nasty girl too? Go ahead, clean your mess.” He smiled at you while running his fingers through your hair slowly. “How’d I get so lucky to have such a sweet and nasty girl?”

“You’re talking like I’m your girlfriend Cillian!” You giggled before giving his cock a final kiss and sitting up on your knees.

“Well ya did say earlier that those little boys ya been tryin to date weren’t me…”

“Is that your way of asking me out?” You smiled while grabbing your hands.

“Of course it is, how could I not ask ya out ?” He stroked your face slowly before pulling you in for another kiss. “But uh let’s not tell yer father right away don’t wanna kill the ol guy.” He chuckled as you nodded along.

This has to be a dream come true, this is all you wanted from Cillian : to be his! And you got what you’ve always wanted, Him.

[bebe-writes-stuff]

I been lurking around your page for a min now n I love your work!^^ Can you pleaseeee do a taju x chubby reader

yesss, also, I finished my exams finally, so now I have a bunch of free time. I'm definitely gonna post more!!

@caramelswirlwithacherryontop

Taiju x chubby reader

I'll see you on Wednesday at 5:30 sharp. in front of the Underwater aquarium. It's a date.

WOW HE'S DIRECT!

You thought, pretty stunned.

But prior to this text, a few weeks ago, You were with Yuzuha. It was nearing sundown and you were walking beside her, listening to her ramble about whatever. That's how you usually were, you weren't always aware of what's going on but you were happy anyway.

"But Yuzuha, you really didn't have to beat that guy up. It was just a silly comment, you know, just a joke." You laughed nervously, tugging on the sleeves of your uniform.

"Huh, What do you mean?! That bastard totally deserved it. That wasn't a joke, Y/n. That guy insulted you and no way was he gonna get away with it." She muttered before turning to you and continued,

"Hey, you gotta stand up for yourself with guys like that. Because if they get away without it the first time, they'll keep doing it." She scolded you, almost like a mother scolding her child, despite you basically being the same age.

You looked to the side, tearing up, remembering your classmate's rude comment "He wasn't wrong, Yuzuha. I am ugly and fat."

"No no, please don't cry. Y/n, Your worth goes far beyond what you see in the mirror. And I appreciate you for who you are, not just for how you look. Your personality, kindness, and strength are what truly matter. If anything, he is ugly! He is a loser and stupid." She cupped your soft face before wiping away your tears and hugging you tightly.

You laughed at her attempted to insult him,

"Do you wanna go to the park? We can swing for a bit." She suggested, You nodded, excitedly.

On the way to the park, Yuzuha continued rambling about her math teacher and how much she hated the class. The park was in view when Yuzuha stopped walking and muttered,

"Huh? Is that Mitsuya and...Taiju?" Her question made you look up and squint trying to see who was there and she was right.

"Yeah, looks like it." You answered.

Yuzuha started sprinting towards them, "Hey, Mitsuya!" She shouted. He turned towards Yuzuha's call and waved, smiling. Taiju was sitting on one of the benches in the park while Luna and Mana were playing with him. Luna was brushing his hair, putting bright colored extensions and also using bright colored hair ties while Mana was putting fake nails on his nails. The sight was hilarious. Whilst Yuzuha was distracted with Mitsuya, who wasn't far, you were hesitant but you sat next to Taiju. You watched as both girls gave Taiju a makeover. Suddenly, you heard a familiar ring tone.

"Is that-" You were cut off by the two little girls,

"ICE CREAM TRUCK!" They screeched in unison, excited. They both took off running towards and Mitsuya obviously followed before they got lost, leaving you and Taiju alone, together, on the bench. You had spoken to Taiju before, actually, if anything you found yourself always gravitating to him, or admiring him from afar, never admitting your feelings towards him. Even when Yuzuha asked, she didn't mind, she was curious. But An uneasy silence settled between you, punctuated by hesitant glances, revealing the palpable awkwardness in the air. You peeked last time, only to see Taiju struggling to remove the fake nails Mana had put on. He was picking at non-stop.

"You need help with that?" You finally spoke, breaking the silence. He stopped before moving his hands toward you. You grabbed his hand, before gently removing each nail carefully so as not to hurt him.

So soft

He thought as he stared at your face the entire process before his free hand reached up and tugged a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Pretty." He whispered.

Blushing and stammering, you found yourself unexpectedly flustered as the subtle charms of the flirtation caught you off guard, leaving you feeling delightful yet a little disoriented.

"A-alright, I'm done." Accidentally stumbling over words. You looked around, Mitsuya and Yuzuha were nowhere in sight.

Wait, did they leave?

"It's getting late, shouldn't you get home soon." Taiju suddenly said, making you jump.

You scrambled to get on your feet, "Yeah, you're totally right, I'll get going-"

"I'll walk you home." He deadpanned,

"whAt." Your voice cracked,

"It's too dangerous for a pretty girl like you to be walking around at this time. There's plenty of shitty delinquents out there." He explained, standing up, towering over you entirely.

"O-okay, whatever you see best."

"Good girl."

Despite your efforts to hide your growing embarrassment, Your body language betrayed your emotions. avoiding direct eye contact, and occasionally tripping over your words. The unexpected attention left you feeling both surprised and self-conscious, creating a memorable moment of flustered charm. Once you reached your front door, You felt Taiju step closer and lean against you, pinned you against the door itself.

"I'll see you on Wednesday at 5:30 sharp. in front of the Underwater aquarium. It's a date."

His straightforwardness made you also wanna become frank with him. You wanted to be honest and do what your body told you to. You reached out and cupped his face, maintaining eye contact which you were avoiding. In sync with your motion, Taiju leaned in, Your lips met in a tender dance, a silent conversation of longing and connection. Time seemed to pause as the world faded away, leaving only the warmth of the shared moment. It was a gentle collision of emotions, a sweet blend of passion and intimacy that spoke volumes without a single word.

In the meantime, Yuzuha and Mitsuya high-fived somewhere, stalking you guys, and see how long it'll take until one of you makes a move.

[oneforthemunny]

omg sweet girl would be the clingiest and horniest pregnant lady ever, all over him alllll the time, pouting and being a brat whenever he has to leave her

also over emotional. mood swings like no other. cowboy!eddie is convinced his dick is going to fall off because she's just non-stop. then if he says, "babe, i gotta go do some stuff. you gotta give me a second and i'll be right back." instant tears. sobbing.

"you think i'm disgusting!"

"what? no-what are you talkin' about?"

"you think i'm ugly and gross because i'm pregnant. that stupid madonna whore whatever! you don't want to have sex with me, and-and you did this to me! you got me pregnant!"

eddie is perplexed, jaw droppingly confused. because one, not true, two, they literally just fucked. like JUST fucked?

"baby, that's not true." he tries to be calm bc he's a little scared of how hard you're crying. "my dick is wore out. you wore it out. just let me go check on the horses real quick, and i'll be right back, alright? you gotta gimme some recovery time, sweet girl."

stage ten clinger too, especially in the late first trimester. no morning sickness, no cravings (with cooper) really. just insanely horny, and insanely emotional. it never really stopped either.

[angelanderson]

I really want an Ellabs x reader fic of fem reader really needing comfort bc she's sad/overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from ellabs but obv they notice smth is off, so they tell her they noticed smth is wrong and she kinda breaks down at that, then they comfort her thru it, listening to her problems or insecurities n'stuff <33 Sorry if it's confusing and/or too long, u dont gotta do it but i'd appreciate it tons <33 (Im totally not self projecting)

ur projecting = supported. 🫢 100% sfw/comfort fic but still no men or minors. type of relationship between them is up to u! this ended up a semi- full length fic oops ? enjoy!

sometimes it just feels too hard. being the newest member in jackson means you feel like you have to prove your worth 24/7. and it’s exhausting, really. abby is just so strong, ellie has the best patrol work, and you? you feel… weak. you (falsely) feel like nothing you’ve done has proven you’re worth the space in jackson.

so when monday rolls around, you tell ellie and abby you have plans with someone else so you can just go home and hide. they don’t question that, why would they? tuesday you tell them you wanna go to bed early. okay, fine. but then it’s wednesday, and they’re starting to get that something is going on with you.

the worry starts to kick in wednesday night after maria tells the two women you asked to go home early, citing that you’re not feeling well. abby all but drags ellie to your tiny place immediately after hearing maria’s words. you always tell each other everything. so why didn’t you now?!

it’s easy to know abby and ellie are knocking at your door simply because of the sheer force of it. five minutes you try to pretend you’re not home. you don’t want them to see you in this state; you’ve been ugly crying for two hours now. however, they don’t give up. it’s not like you could expect anything else from them.

“baby, we know you’re home. let us in, yeah? we’re worried about you,” abby shouts out after another two minutes of knocking.

you respond back with a sickly voice from the sofa, “no, go away. ‘m busy.”

you can just feel the attitude enter ellie’s body now. you know how stubborn she can be. “no, we know you’re lying. i will find a way in if you don’t let us in within the next thirty seconds.”

you know she isn’t joking as you move to open the door. the sight of you upon opening the door is not a pretty one— your face is red, covered in tears. ellie takes a deep breath before she pushes in. she won’t let you shut them out anymore. abby shuts the door before them before heading you back onto the sofa with them. each other is on either side of you within the matter of seconds.

as per usual, abby is the first one to break the silence. “oh, honey, what’s going on? we could’ve helped you sooner if we knew.” the way she sounds sad just makes you feel worse.

insecurities once again bubbling over, you do the only thing you can think of: you try to shove abby away. being significantly stronger than you means it didn’t feel like a single thing. however, abby won’t put up with you lashing out right now. she knows you can be their sweet girl even in the toughest of moments.

ellie watches like a hawk as abby grabs both of your wrists to stop you from trying to push her away again. “just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can act out. are you going to be the big girl i know you are now? or do i need to keep you here?”

the concerned sternness of her voice makes you whimper in reply. fresh tears leak down your face as you try to find the words to explain. “i- i just don’t think i deserve to be here! everyone, especially you two, carry your weight around here! and what do i do? i’m just a stupid girl working in the bar!”

and, well, neither of them could say they were expecting that response. sure, you were newer to Jackson, but so was everyone at one point. you were also one of the most popular Jackson residents— everyone loves the energy you bring to the bar after a long day of work. so it just makes sense that both women are beyond shocked to realize that this is why you’re so down. how could you not know how loved you are here?

as yet another round of tears starts to fall, you feel abby’s big arms quickly pull you into her chest. your body starts to shake with each inhale as you start to sob into abby’s chest. while ellie rushes to rub your back, abby starts to tilt your head up so you can see her.

“angel, angel, no. let’s take some deep breathes and then we’ll all have a talk, okay?”, abby coos as she wipes away the falling tears.

ellie puts your right hand over abby’s heart when your breathing doesn’t start to slow any. she speaks in the softest voice she can muster up,“deep breaths with me and abby, baby. feel abby’s heart beat. we’re all going to just relax together before anything else.”

two minutes between your favorite people is all it takes to reduce you to just sniffles. you slouch back into your seat once you’ve finally caught your breath. you look up at abby and ellie with wet eyes before letting out a long sigh. no one is sure who should speak first.

ellie decides she’ll be the one to start, “it’s not true, you know? everyone here loves you. helping run the bar is important. you create a space where we can all relax for once. emphasis on the relax part.”

abby grunts in agreement with ellie. “you know ellie’s right, don’t you baby,” abby questions before looking over to ellie, “our favorite girl’s always making everyone feel happy, isn’t she?”

“for real though, you really do play a big part here. you know ellie and i started arguing less when you came around? pretty big deal there, you know. even joel commented on it,” the dirty blonde continues on the conversation.

and that makes you giggle for the first time all day. “even joel? really?” while you knew they had a previous history of more frequent fights, you didn’t know even joel was over it back then too.

“yeah, it’s really true,” abby starts before taking a breath to think about her next words. she exhales, “strength isn’t everything, you know? you add just as much as we do here. creating a space where people can relax while we live on this hell on earth is just as important as what we do. we all do the best here because we are better with each other. our system can’t function without others.”

you’re sure you’d be crying tears of happiness right now if you weren’t so exhausted from all your previous crying. your previous anxieties start to slip away as you start to truly internalize both of their words from today. you are important. you matter here. just like everyone else.

no one is given a chance to speak before you’re pulling ellie and yourself on top of abby. “i love you, i love you, i love you both,” you whisper out. “you’re right. i promise i’ll come talk to you next time i’m feeling down, okay? know you’ll make me say that part next!”

“okay smarty pants, you better. also, we always are, darling. love you the most,” teases ellie before she presses a kiss to the back of your head.

“hey! what if i love you both the most? then what?” you’re sure you can feel ellie roll her eyes as abby whines out playfully.

“okay, okay. how about we all love each other the most? can we just agree so i can drink some water now? my head is killing me.” a major post-crying headache has just started to come on for you.

ellie rolls her eyes playful at both of you. “i’ll get us all some water”, she commands as she walks to your kitchen, “and get comfy with abby. we’ll watch a movie, and yes, you can choose today.”

yay! end note to say ur important and i’m glad ur here + love that we all each add our own special things to this earth 🫂

[http-paprika]

what's lost / simon "ghost" riley

part one zombie-apocalypse!au / pairing simon "ghost" riley x female reader / wc 1103 / warnings brief mentions of gore and violence, minor swearing, attempted suicide.

summery during the escort to edinburgh, things don't go as ghost had planned, causing him to lose y/n

note when i saw this is just an angst filled shitshow, i mean it. like, bawled my eyes out a bit, had to write this over multiple days i was struggling.

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The air in his lungs was bitter, stale. His body was a shell of what it was, skin turning purple and yellow like a large bruising sore. It had been too long since Ghost had cried, what felt like a lifetime ago as tears blurred his vision, jagged sobs escaping his throat.

Ghost’s breathing harbors, slowing as the infection pulsed through his veins. In his final few moments of sanity, he thought of Y/N who he’d forced to run when a horde had overcome them on the outskirts of Edinburgh. The sound of her voice, the feeling of her lips against his mask warmed his heart as Ghost brought the gun up against his head. His jaw was slacked, broken in the fight, blood drooling from his lips. The words spewed out his mouth, a muddled mess as he closed his eyes and gripped the metal harshly. “I– I’m sorry.”  

 The gun clattered to the ground, he should’ve done it, but her face burned too painfully in his to pull the trigger. All consuming him along with the infected venom that had transformed him. 

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 Y/N’s laugh was like a sweet song as they continued, through the wild brush of an overgrown wheat field. Ghost couldn’t even remember what he’d said to make her laugh, but a smile tugged at his lips to hear it. 

“If the outbreak hadn’t happened, what did you plan on doing with your life?” She asked him, obvious to the lump that clogs his throat. 

“Didn’t exactly plan for a future.” Ghost admitted, watching her stop and frown at his response. His feet slowed to a stop, and he turned to look at her. “I’m not exactly the type who plans to settle down, have kids, and retire—nothing for me outside of the military. The outbreak didn’t really change that. Probably spend the rest of my days being worked to death by them if I’m not bitten first.” 

 “Oh.” It sounded so painfully bleak for him to tell her the truth, but she’d asked, and Y/N had heard worse. 

“Don’t break your heart over it. You’ve still got a promising life ahead of you.” He walks back over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Gotta make a cure, have your name known across what’s left of the UK, maybe the world.” 

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Y/N can still hear her heart beating like a drum through her entire body as they check it, ensuring it’s clean from infection bites. Her cheeks were tight and dry, the crying had stopped when she’d reached the QZ, not out of relief or happiness, but because of a numb dread that’d washed over her. It had been two, maybe three hours since she’d left Ghost, the infection had either spread and he’d turned into a walking corpse. Or— Y/N shuddered, hating the ugly images that bubbled in her mind. Either result was a knife to the chest and tears threatened to spill over again.

 It had been her fault that he’d been bitten, at least that’s what she’d convinced herself. Had she been more aware, more capable, Ghost wouldn’t have had to become a flesh barrier between Y/N and the undead. She’d scowled and cursed at him, anger turning into blinding grief when the realization hit, a blood indent in his wrist from teeth. He’d been served a fate worse than death saving her. And the guilt of it sliced like a knife through her heart. 

Ghost should’ve been there, with her safely in the QZ. Kissing her and reminding her that they were safe, safer than they’d been since they’d left London over a month before. But she was there, a hollow shell all alone as they escorted her through the secured area to the lab that would become a prison for her. 

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The song of crickets filled Ghost’’s ears as they settled for the night, making a small camp in the deep black of a forest. He sat so that Y/N’s head rested on his lap, his hand absent-mindedly running through her hair. “You’re quiet tonight.” 

 Almost wondering if she’d fallen asleep there, he looked down at her face and she quickly averted her gaze away from his. “Y/N? What’s wrong love?” 

 “What are you going to do when we get to Edinburgh?” She finally speaks, keeping her gaze focused on the small camping lantern they had, watching the few insects that flew to it, hoping for the warmer sun. “Or were you not planning on getting that far either?” 

 “Oh.” Ghost lets out a groan, running a hand over his face. So she was still thinking about their conversation from earlier, considering his words on a personal level, as if they’d been directed to her. He’d been backed into a wall with her question, the truth was pathetic and Ghost worried how she’d respond to it.

“So you didn’t think that far.” Y/N didn’t ask but stated firmly before sitting up and pushing away from Ghost. Taking her warmth away from him. 

“Y/N, love–” He reached a hand out, placing it lightly on her arm and removing it after Ghost watched her flinch from his touch. “No, I didn’t think about what I’d do after. Was too focused on the mission of just getting you there safely. But I’ve thought about it, and if you’ll have me, I’d like to stay there for you.” 

Whipping her head around, she stared at him surprised by his request, almost wondering if she’d heard him correctly. He was being vulnerable with her, it caused a lump to form in her throat.

 “Stay… with me?” 

“Yes.” Ghost nodded his head, taking her hand in his and bringing it close to his clothed mouth. “Please, Y/N? I’ll be your damn guard dog if that’s what it takes.” He finishes his plea, kissing the palm of her hand despite the fabric barrier between his lips and her skin. Stray tears in his eyes he blinked away, focusing on her, nothing else mattered but her.

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The afterlife was not what Ghost expected, his body and mind were infected, driving him with an everpresent thirst for flesh and blood. Like a street dog, wandering the expanse of Edinburgh fighting the wild hunger that’d taken over him and so many others. But there was a hollow feeling, some part of his past life still tethered to the shell of his body. Some haunting voice that still rang in his ears like a beautiful song that drew him away from corpses and rotting flesh. Someone whose side he should’ve never left. 

tag-list @amazingori

[bandgie]

The Spell of the Night

Huening Kai x fem!reader

synopsis: Being reunited with your best friend after years is an emotional trip. Everyone's gotten older and bigger with stories to tell, especially her little brother. Was he always that hot? anon ask!

warnings: MDNI 18+, age gap (reader is older), nonidol au, reader catches Kai jerking the ween, reader watches Kai masterbate, nipple play (m!), very brief over stimulation (m!), cum eating (f!)

3.3k words

It was exciting meeting your closest friend after so many years. College forced you two apart, and after finally establishing a career, you were able to see each other again. 

You were filled with excitement and some nervousness as you stood outside her front door. From what you gathered, she still lives with her parents. Not only would you be meeting her for the first time in almost 7 years, but her siblings. 

The door opened before you even rang the doorbell. Lea stood there with a huge smile on her face, already squealing from happiness. 

"That's my favorite noona!" She screamed before practically jumping in your arms. Your weight was thrown back before you collected yourself, hugging her back just as fiercely. Whatever nervousness you had felt when arriving completely dissipated into love. Complete adoration for your dearest friend.

It took a few good minutes for excited chatter and happy tears to simmer down. She, along with Bahiyyih, were making dinner just before your arrival. You took a seat at the dinner table while they cooked.

"It's so weird to see you cook Hiyyih," you tell the youngest sister. 

She looks back for a moment and smiles, "Is it?"

You nod, "Totally is. I remember me and Lea babysitting you whenever we hung out. We just put you in front of a TV and called it a day."

Laughter echoed in the house from the memories. "That's not my fault!" Lea protests jokingly. "You're older than me, you should've known better!" 

You roll your eyes at her jab, "I'm not that old. I still look 16."

More laughs tumble from your mouths. It feels good to be back, it feels right. The Huening family always welcomed you with open arms even if you were a few grades above Lea. You could recall spending countless nights at her place, eating the dinner her parents prepared. Reminiscing made you want to ugly cry in the best way possible.

"Do you mind if I use your restroom? I gotta tinkle."

"Of course!" Lea sounds shocked that you would even ask. "It's down the hall second door on the right. Make sure you wipe. I don't want to see any piss stains."

You playfully stick your tongue out at her before getting up from your seat. The house remains the same, save for the newer pictures that hang on the walls. You can tell they’re in chronological order as you descend further in the hall. What a beautiful family, you think.

It's strange seeing the Huening siblings grow into adults. They look the same, but so different all at the same time. It's a trip for you to watch the people you grew up with...grow up. 

It's even weirder seeing how Kai has aged. He still has the sideways smile, but he's definitely matured. A strong nose, jawline, and plump lips. It also seems like he's had quite the growth spurt judging by how he towers over his siblings in family photos.

You recall Kai being a little annoying. He always wanted to join what you and Lea were doing, no matter how much Lea complained. You didn't mind at first, you understand how younger siblings always want to copy their older one. But you started to notice how Kai wanted to stand next to you when sitting in a circle, he wanted to play the Dad if you were the Mom, he wanted you to look at all the cool tricks he could do even if he's shown you a million times. 

Lea would tease Kai about his crush on you, and you would awkwardly watch him deny with rose tinted cheeks. 

That very same boy is a man now, a handsome one at that. It intrigues you to see how he's turned out, but you have yet to see him tonight. You shove the thought away before turning to your task at hand. 

You reach the second door and twist the knob. Rather than seeing a toilet, you're greeted with Kai laying in his bed. A hand in his pants with vicious jerking movements. His head whips to see who entered his room unannounced. You only see the fear in his eyes for less than a second before slamming the door.

"Sorry," you quip before dashing back to the kitchen. 

Your quick footsteps prompt both Lea and Bahiyyih to look in your direction when you arrive.

"What's up?" Lea's first to question you.

I just caught your brother jerking off, I want to gauge my eyes out. But instead you say, "That wasn't the bathroom."

"No?" Lea's eyebrows come together confused. "The second door to the left?" "Left?" You question. "You said right." Lea purses her lips, "Oh shit. Did I?"

"You did," Bahiyyih interjects. She lifts the pot to see how the soup is boiling. "You dummy."

"Well you could have said something, but didn't. So, you're the dummy."

Their sibling banter is muffled in your ears. All you can hear is how your heart thumps in your heart, how sweaty your hands got, the way your mind keeps replying the scene over in your head. 

Dark hair over Kai's face, lips slightly parted from the silent moans leaving his mouth, the way his hips were slightly arched off his bed like he couldn't help but thrust into his own fist. It replayed over and over, until your conscience decided to throw an image of you on top of him.

You had to physically shake your head to rid the image. You felt like vomiting, yet the salivating in your mouth was far from grossed out. 

"Anywho, I'm so sorry about that," Lea frowns. "It's across that one, but dinner's pretty much ready. I don't know if you wanna wait."

Before you can answer, heavy footsteps make their way to the kitchen. A part of you wants to remain with your back turned to him, but Bahiyyih makes his presence known immediately. 

"There he is! Finally out of your hole huh?" 

Kai looks embarrassed, the familiar red twinge on his face as he tsks as his little sister. "Shut up."

"Kai," Lea leaves the kitchen to make her way to him. "You remember my friend don't you? She used to come over all the time. We used to dress you up, remember that?"

Kai turns a shade redder upon hearing the memory, one you had completely forgotten until now. Flashes of putting dresses on Kai, applying too much makeup, and making him do the catwalk go through your mind. You cringe and groan, burying your face in your hands. 

"Oh my god," you say exasperatedly. "I totally forgot about that. Why did you remind me?"

Since Kai's crush on you was so obvious, Lea and you tended to use that information to your advantage. Making him do little errands for you, making him do embarrassing dares, and spending his allowance money on you.

Even if Kai winces at the memories, he still would have done anything to see you smile.

Both you and Kai are a blushing mess. Given that you just saw him jerking his cock and forced to remember the humiliating past of your actions. 

"Yeah Lea. I remember." Kai finally breaks the silence, walking to the dinner table where Bahiyyih is setting the food. "Okay reminiscing is over and dinner is served! Come eat."

Dinner isn't as awkward as you anticipated. Yes, Kai is sitting across from you doing everything in his power to not look at you. And yes, everytime your eyes catch his hands you imagine them wrapped around his cock. And yes, you notice your underwear is slightly damp. Still, there's no tension in the air as you four laugh, talk, and gossip about your new adult lives. 

All of you help clean up, separating the chores amongst yourselves. It's around this time that you begin feeling sleepy, the jet lag catching up to you. Lea sees you yawn and suggests that you all take an early night. You want to protest and say you can stay up, but your eyes are burning from keeping them open. You agree.

Sleep does not come easy. Whether it's because of the jetlag or sleeping in a new place, you don't know. It must be past midnight now, and Lea is fast asleep on her bed when you peer from the futon on the floor. 

Quietly, you stand. You tiptoe your way to the kitchen for a glass of water. Coming out of the hall, you can hear the faint sound of the TV on. You slow your steps and look into the living room. The TV is on, and you can make out the black head of hair that sits on the couch. 

You take one more step and the floorboard creaks under you. Kai's head whips back to see you, surprise in his eyes. He lowers the volume quickly, "Sorry. Was it loud?"

You shake your head, "Not at all. I was just getting water."

He nods, turning his attention back to the screen. Now the air has turned tense. Despite being as quiet as possible, you feel as though everything you do is loud. Even your mere presence screams in the dimly lit kitchen. Kai doesn't feel much better. The scenes playing on the TV go unnoticed. He keeps looking from his peripheral vision to see what you're doing, straining his ears to hear your movements. 

You almost sigh in relief when you finish filling your glass. You want nothing more than to get out of this awkward situation. As you turn to make your way back to the hall, you realize that it's going to be this strained throughout your stay. It's better to get it off your chest now so you don't have to walk on eggshells when you're supposed to be having fun.

With a new purpose, you instead make your way to the couch. Kai notices this, but opts to keep his head focused on the TV until you speak. 

"Do you have a minute?"

He's sweating. His shaky eyes glance to yours before nodding, muting the channel. Kai wipes his palms on his sweats when you take a seat by him. "What's up?"

You tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, setting the glass down on the coffee table in front of you. "I just uh, want to apologize...for earlier." His ears turn red. "I should have knocked." You continue. "I was just trying to go to the bathroom, but Lea told me the wrong side." There's a pause. "Anywho, that's my fault. I didn't see anything anyway, well, kinda but not a lot."

Kai nods again, eyes wide and lips parted. "No, it's my fault. I should have locked the door. No, I shouldn't have even been...doing that. It's disgusting I know, and-"

"Disgusting?" You interrupt him. "Sorry, I don't mean to cut you off, but I never said it was disgusting. I wasn't expecting it, yes, but I wasn't necessarily disgusted by it." Which is true. If anything, you were turned on by it. 

"Oh," his voice is small. "Sorry. But still, I shouldn't have if I knew you were coming."

His confession makes your eyebrow rise. "You knew I was coming and still jerked it? Hyuka I didn't take you for such a perv." You softly laugh while Kai looks down to hide his flushed cheeks. 

"I was just...excited..." Kai mumbles. 

Your laughter fades, now seriously surprised and somewhat interested in what he said. "Excited? What does that mean?"

Fuck, he shouldn't have said that. Kai's fiddling with his finger as he tries to think of something to say. "Excited like...to know you were coming back. My sisters didn't tell me you were coming until today, like just a few hours before you came. And I just...yeah."

You hum, pretending to understand. You do understand, but the concept is hard to wrap around your head. "So, do you normally jerk off at the thought of me?"

"Shut- Stop saying that!" Kai whisper-yells. His little tantrum has you giggling. You have to keep a hand over your mouth to keep quiet. Maybe it's due to the late hours of the night, but you're far from grossed out by the conversation. It makes you want to know more, to hear more, maybe to see more. 

"Can I ask why?"

Kai should say no. Tell you that he's actually delirious from lack of sleep. Instead, he nods. Maybe he's also under the spell of the late night. "It was pretty obvious when we were younger, but I was like...in love with you. Followed you like a dog, I honestly hate the memory sometimes. But I just liked you a lot back then, and when I heard that you were staying, it just kinda all came back. It was like I needed to get it out of my system."

After years of an unrequited love, Kai had finally confessed to you. Or at least confessed what he felt for you in the past. It's a lot to unpack, but you aren't that surprised. To hear it come from his lips though, it sends shivers down your spine. 

"And how about now?" You ask, dropping your voice a little lower. "Is it out of your system?" Now you're playing with fire. There's a little voice telling you to stop, but Kai's big eyes and red face are too cute to pass up. 

He gulps. "What do you mean?" 

"I think you know what I mean." You scoot closer to him, placing a hand on his knee while the other rests behind his neck. "I'll tell you a secret too Hyuka." You lean into his ear, letting your lips graze the shell of his ear. 

"I liked it."

That's all the convincing he needs to shimmy his joggers off. You move your hand so he can let the material pool at his ankles. He pulls his boxers down just enough to his cock to pop out. You hum approvingly at the sight, catching your bottom lip between your teeth. 

He's not all the way hard, but you can watch him grow in real time. Kai's cock literally comes to life before your eyes, his pale pink tip blushing from the attention. His hand travels down to grab himself at the base of his cock. You place your hand back on his bare thigh, running your fingers up and down his skin.

"Y-you really liked it?" Kai stutters. His hazy, hopefully eyes scan your face. It's as though he's trying to detect any lie from your expression. "Mhm," you confirm. "A lot. Made me so wet."

Kai quietly moans at your admission. He pumps himself slowly, letting the skin of his cock cover his tip completely before pulling it back down. You lean your head on his shoulder, watching how his hand drags up and down his dick. 

Should anyone come out from the hall, all they would see are the back of your heads watching the muted TV. In a way, you are watching a show. Kai is eager to put on a good performance for you, going as far as to lift his shirt so your hand could splay across his stomach. 

You turn your head so you could kiss and lick his neck, watching how he shivers at the sensation. Teasingly, you bite down on his soft skin. Kai gasps at the pain, a near sob on his tongue. 

"Don't. I'm sensitive there." He pleads with you. It makes you want to play with him more, to push him to where he can't possibly stay quiet. You obey him though, returning to your spot in watching him jerk off. 

He's completely hard now, breathing heavy as he strokes himself. Your pussy is weeping from loneliness, begging to be filled. Kai's cock looks perfectly made for you. It's slightly curved at the crown, a thick head that you know would be delicious stretching you out. You're already walking a thin line by watching him masterbate in the living room, it would be stupid of you to ride him here too.

So stupid, but that doesn't mean you can't think about it.

Your hand travels up his chest to tweak his nipples. They harden at your touch, and he moans at how your thumb rubs them in circles. "Can I play with these? Or are you sensitive here too?" You tease. Kai shakes his head, scared to give a verbal in answer in fear of moaning too loud. 

His hand speeds up when you pinch his nipples. Kai arches his back and squeezes his eyes shut. His chest is turning a blossoming pink from your rough touches. As an apology, you lean down and lick over his bud. Your warm tongue startles him for a moment. Kai relishes in the feeling of your soft tongue soothing him. How you kiss and suck his chest. You let your tongue roll over his nipple before sharply sucking it. 

Kai twitches and his hips stutter. He knew he was a little sensitive there, but not like this. It's even more evident when he whines as you place his bud between your teeth, gently pulling at it. You let it go with a soft smack sound from your lips.

Now it's swollen and red. His nipple looks so pretty decorated like this, it's a shame you can't properly reach the other one. You look back to his hand furiously stroking himself. Your thighs rub together at the sight. 

You lay your head back down on his check, kissing his chest. Your lips run over his nipple while your hand plays with the other. You're caught between wanting to watch him and keep sucking him. Kai's cock is leaking so much precum that you can hear every move, every stroke he does. 

"Fuck, noona. I'm gonna cum."

Immediately, you pick up your head. Kai softly whines at the feeling of his chest being abandoned, but your hand goes back down past his cock. You hold his heavy balls in your hand, massaging and squeezing it encouragingly. 

It only takes a few more pumps before his hips thrust upwards, white spurts being released from his tip. The first string of cum lands on his chest, mixing with his bruised pecs. The second one lands on his lower stomach and abdomen, and the final few spill over his cock. 

The beautiful sight that has you grinding against his thigh. Kai breathes heavily, soft mewls tumbling from his mouth and he slows his movements. You stop playing with his sack and take a swipe of his cum on your finger. 

Kai watches with tired eyes as you taste him. Your tongue swishes the flavor over your taste buds, mixing it with your saliva before you swallow it. Then you dip your head down to his chest, licking up all his release. 

"Wait! You don't have to. I can-"

"Shh," you silence him. "You're being loud. I know I don't have to, I want to."

Kai's stunned as he stares at you eating his cum. You make your way down to his soft cock, quickly popping it in your mouth just to get the last bit. His hips shy away from your hot lips, a clear sign that he can't handle another touch to his dick. 

You swallow the final strings of cum before reaching for your water. It's a pity really, all of this wasted when he could have finished inside of you. 

Turning back to Kai, you can see that he's completely spent. If you asked for him to play with your cunt, he most likely would. No, he absolutely would. There was no way in hell Kai would pass up the opportunity to touch you. Your better judgment catches up to you, as well as his post nut clarity. 

If you thought your stay was going to be awkward before, you can't imagine what it's going to be like now.

[petew21-blog]

Can you do like a lando norris and oscar piastri body swap pls

I hope I won't dissapoint. You can still dm me if anything

Oscar P.O.V. (on the right)

Another race ahead, another day to win. Lando is already here. He won't beat me, but I still gotta be ready. We push each other to be better all the time. While out of the race we are quite good friends I have to say, but while driving, we become the speed itself. We both wanna win and we wanna be better than before.

"Hey, mate. How we feeling today? Ready to be second, huh?"

"Nah that's your place, man. No need to take from the weak. Besides wouldn't trade my ride with yours anytime soon, that's why you won't be first." he laughed

"You know it's about the driver huh, I am better and you know it. Unless you switch with me, you won't get to win this."

"Well, I can say only the same thing"

We laughed about it and shook hands. And suddenly we were looking at ourselves. We actually swapped bodies 45 minutes before the race.

"What the hell is this. Why am I you?"

"Why are you me?!? I only meant it as a joke. I didn't believe it was possible."

We started screaming at each other drawing attention. Lando in my body noticed first:"Everybody is starting to look at us. Let's make a deal to just ride as we normally would and try to win anyway ok? Then we'll deal with this."

I don't know what came over me, but seeing my body so confident made me a bit horny. Until today I never questioned my sexuality. Well...

We went over some details. Phrases we usually say. Tricks we do and shit we don't do. The media were all over us, making photos, tried to capture the moment we had a fight, but now trying to find a better moment.

We both went our ways. We got behind our wheels and went on. The rest is a blur. I didn't even feel like a different person at those moments, but after exitting the car, I suddenly realized I won. I fucking a first place. Wait. Lando won. But... I did. As Lando. So... the throphy stays with Lando, but I'm the one who made sure he won.

Lando P.O.V.

Yeeeeees. I don't even know if I should cry right now or cheer. Oscar's team was so confused that I cheered so much for my own body winning, but I don't care. I won. My body won that trophy. I won!

But then it hit me. We haven't swapped back yet. What if we never swap back and we stay like this? What do I do?

I left to get changed. I got out of my clothes.

"Damn Oscar, maybe get a tan sometimes? You're pale as snow."

Oscar's body isn't ugly. He is a bit slimmer than me, but can't say anything bad about it. We're only two years apart and our bodies aren't that different. I looked inside my new boxers. Well, maybe we are. Atleast I won something today. I actually can't wait to test this bad boy and see it fully hard

Oscar P.O.V.

Lando's body has so much attention now. The past few days we've made bunch of photoshoots and I have to say I am getting kinda comfy in this body. It's good looking. Hot, better muscle structure. I don't think I even want to swap back right now. But I can't say that about Lando. He keeps texting me about talking and finding a way to swap back. I'm just to tired from all the media attention and photoshoots to deal with this.

Oh another message came. A photo in my bathroom. Ok, I miss that dick. Maybe I could talk to him tonight. We could talk over the swap and maybe I could try to ride something else for a change

[jqmalikhsgib]

sea view

two

varitymagazine

2,000,000 Likes

varietymagazine “fame just got to my head,” styles starts. “it was all my fault. im the reason my family was almost broken.” click the link in our bio to learn more about harry styles life, music, and more!

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Harry Styles: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly! 

When we hear the name Harry Styles, most of us scream our lungs out. The ex One Direction member holds our hearts in his hands without batting an eyelash.

Harry Styles was born in Worcestershire, England February First to Anne Twist and Des Styles making Gemma Styles an older sister. Harry would describe his childhood like any other.

“I was just a normal kid, playing football in my backyard,” he states. “I’d make fun of my sister while she called me a butthead before we’d go and watch something on the telly.”

Styles opens up about being a child from divorce. “My mom and dad had problems. They’d fight here and there and Gem and I would just hold each other in one of our rooms. My parents finally decided enough was enough and separated. I was ten years old, somewhat heartbroken but ultimately relieved.”

When Harry was eleven he met the most loveliest woman he’d ever seen. She’d just moved from America with her dad and five older brothers. The moment Harry saw her, he just knew!

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of yn. She was breathtaking. I had to get to know her!”

Harry and Yn relationship begins when they were only twelve years old. From that moment they were each others first love. Harry states he’s never felt love like the one he’s had with YN.

Harry opens up about his personal life with his wife and his kids. Including the moment they became teen parents.

“We were young and dumb. The only thing we were thinking about was each other. When she called me crying, telling me she’s pregnant, we were just about to hit fourteen. We’d just started high school and we were scared shitless. I ended up getting a job at the local bakery and our parents helped us as much as they could. When our son was born we never felt so much pride and joy. We created this tiny little human out of love. Nothing has ever made either of us feel more proud.” Styles goes on to say.

Harry then talks about his dream of being a singer. He opens up about how silly he thought it was, but how his mom, sister, and wife talked him into auditioning for the X-factor.

“If it weren’t for my family, I would have never went to that audition! My mom and sister always encouraged me to live my dream. In my head it was a given. ‘Of course they’ll say this, im their son and brother.’ I thought to myself. But YN wasn’t either, I guess it was different when I heard it from her.”

Styles smiles as he discussed how he use to sing their son [Corbin Styles] to sleep. “He’d have this huge smile on his face. Every single time he’d close his eyes, he’d fight his sleep just so he could hear me sing. That’s really when I knew, I gotta audition!”

In that moment, Harry’s life changed forever! He was apart of the biggest boyband in the world, One Direction. Being put into a group with four other boys [Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, and Zayn Malik] Harry talks about his relationship with each band member.

“Being put into a group with four different boys was difficult, sure! Of course it was exciting and love there in the beginning. We’re just five boys who had the same dream. But we’re also five boys with five different personalities, five different voices, five different views of the world, five different love stories. We bumped heads a lot, especially towards the end,” Styles states. “I think after four years of constant tour, no breaks, arguments, screaming, and barely seeing our families, we were all kinda done. At this moment I was married to YN, she was pregnant with payton, so I wanted to be there for her and both of our kids more. Louis was about to have his own baby, Liam was dealing with his own battles, Niall had family troubles, and Zayn had left the band. We were all kinda worn out. It was time we ventured out on our own and see where life would take us. In a way, it made our relationship better. Niall, Louis, and Liam are all uncles to my children. Zayn was my best friend in the band, he was named god-dad.”

We asked Harry about his first album, how it came about. “It was simple really! I’ve been writing my own music for a long time. I went to Jamaica with my wife and kids and it was lovely. I put together my own band, figured out which songs I wanted out there, and once it was ready, we set a date and even prepared for tour.” Harry smiles at the memory. Though it never reached his face.

This is when we asked him about his second album. Fine Line had been release two years after his self titled album, Harry Styles. Hearing it makes your heart break.

Harry talks about his relationship with wife. He opens up about his arrogance, ignorance, and his affair[s].

“I’m not gonna sugar coat it, I was a shit husband for a long time,” Harry tells us. “The moment we made it big, I’d get this big head and think, ‘fuck im the shit!’ so many women wanted me and would do anything to have me. I was weak and stupid. They all knew I was married with kids, I never hid that from my fans or obviously the women id sleep with.” Harry takes a deep breath. “YN and I would constantly argue. She’d cry herself to sleep at night when I didn’t come home or back to our hotel room when the boys and I were on tour. I remember when she packed her bag and left me.”

Harry wipes his tears before he continues. “It was around the last few legs of tour. I’d been sorta seeing at least two women regularly. [for privacy reasons harry didn’t mention names] She wrote me a note, stating she couldn’t do this anymore. She told me I either needed to get my shit together or she’d divorce me and get full custody. In this moment I knew, I needed to find myself again. Once tour was over, I flew to Japan, took a few friends, began the process of writing fine line, and went to therapy. I was gonna do everything in my power to get my family back together. from there, YN, me, and the kids would work on our new dynamic. I was slowly getting my family back.” Harry states.

Harry opens up about how a lot of the fans blamed YN during the time they’d been split up.

“I wanna clear this up, YN had nothing to do with our split. A lot of people assumed she’d been the one cheating or using me. She was always faithful and couldn’t care less if I had millions or pennies. She loved me for me. Fame just got to my head,” Styles starts. “It was my fault. I’m the reason my family was almost broken.”

YN has been known to be vocal to people who constantly hate on her. Harry opens up about the relationship she has with his fanbase.

“I think if you can’t respect your favorite artist relationship, you’re not a real fan. Truth is, YN is my wife. I almost lost her years ago, I’m not gonna lose her over something so petty. She’s the mother of my children and my wife. People should respect that!” Styles states. He continues to talk about her social media comments and post.

“She can do whatever she wants! I don’t control her, nor does my team! YN has always been very open when it comes to our marriage. She’s not gonna sensor herself simply because others can’t get the hint. That’s one of the many things I love about her!” Styles finished.

During our interview, Harry opens up about his next album before he leaves.

“The next albums gonna be filled with more love than anything. I think this one will be filled with dancing, smiles, and laughter. I’m really excited to share it with the world.” Harry states before he politely shakes our hands and walks over to his family.

[yangbbokari]

Maknae Line!Skz stood you up on a date

Pairing: Maknae Line!skz x gn!reader Genre: Angst, fluff/comfort, idk Warnings: Nothing much but maybe a little cursing and mentions of insecurities Song rec: Fine - Taeyeon A.N: Requested by 🧈anon, sry this took so long😭 on top of being a student, I just procasinate a lot. Will this have a part 2? idk but we'll c

HAN JISUNG Jisung said that he reserved an expensive restaurant for the two of you to enjoy. But maybe you misheard it and he said for only you to enjoy. Sure you could say it's being too dramatic since he's only late for about thirty minutes. You would like to say that too. If he didn't leave you sitting at a restaurant ordering random plates to await his arrival for two hours. You were getting impatient. You couldn't sit here for much longer or you'd be kicked out. Five minutes, you said. If he didn't show up in the next five minutes, you'd leave.

Spoiler alert, much to your dissappointment, he didn't show up. So you had to pay for the dinner and leave a tip as a "sorry for wasting your time." It ticked you off. For the first time since he got back from tour, this was the date. But he couldn't even show up. It absolutely pissed you off. As you were leaving the restaurant, you got a text. Looking at your phonescreen, it read, Hanji💞

"Sorry I couldn't make it, Bubs."

ping

"I'll make it up to you."

ping

"LOVE YOU😘"

You felt the tears well up in your eyes. This was suppose to be a makeup date. So why were you now walking home in the rain? The soft pitter patter of the rain was doing a good job of covering the sounds of your shattering heart and ugly sobs. All the efforts you put into this date for it not to work out. You even went shopping for a dress just for this occassion. Now it's drenched from the rain.

When you finally got home, it was dark. "Guess he's not home yet." You thought out loud. Suddenly the lights came on and Jisung came from behind the couch.

"Surprise!" He shouted with a cake in his hands. His jolly behavior instantly switched to worry when he saw you in your condition. "B-baby, what's wrong."

Bursting into tears, you crouched down and covered your face with your hands. He also crouched down and held your face, making you look up at him. 

"I'm sorry, Bubs. Don't cry."

"I thought- I thought that you didn't care about me anymore. Like you forgot me. O-or you possibly didn't love me anymore." 

He looked at you guiltily, knowing he's the reason you felt this way. He felt so bad. So he gently place an arm below your knees and the other around your shoulders. Slowly lifting you up and carrying you over to the restroom. 

"Ji! What are you doing!?"

He just shot you a fond yet cheeky smile. Gently removing your articles of clothing. "Jisung... w-wait."

"I gotta make it up to my baby girl somehow." Then he lifted you into the tub. "What were you thinking, Love? What did you think I was gonna do to you?"

Your cheeks flushed a bright pink. "N-nothing!" He chuckled and kissed your temple. "If I was gonna do that, I would've taken you to the bedroom. Don't you think?" No doubt, your ears were most definitely red now. "Whatever..." You mumbled as Jisung filled the tub with warm water. "What was that? I didn't hear you." He teased.

You just crossed your arms and ignored him. Even though, secretly inside, you were more than content with this new memory you'd be holding dear for the rest of your life. ~~~ LEE FELIX Today, you and Felix were supposed to have a home date. A little baking session for the two of you. You went out and bought all the ingredients that were missing. Even though you usually had all of them because of how much the both of you loved to bake. 

Except on this date, Felix was running a little late. If he couldn't make it then he would've found some kind of way to inform you. But you haven't got a single text or call from him in the past hour and a half.

You stayed up for a couple of hours waiting for him. It was already half past midnight and sleep was beginning to take over. With a heavy sigh, you headed to bed. But when you got there, you couldn't fall asleep.

All through the night, you twisted and turned and even counted sheep. You couldn't fall asleep though. 

When you lost all hope, you heard Felix tiptoe to the bedroom door and silently slip into bed. You pretended to be sleeping, not wanting to worry him. It wasn't long before he fell asleep and that's when you arose. You could smell the foul odor of alcohol on your boyfriend and it made you- Well not exactly upset but disappointed.

After grabbing your phone off the nightstand, you made your way to the guest bedroom. The time read, 3:48 a.m. You cried to your heart's content. He'd leave you second-guessing yourself just to turn up drunk. It wasn't until the sun rose that you finally fell asleep.

Felix woke up with his head banging from all sides. He knew he shouldn't have drank that much last night. But that was the least of his concerns. You weren't lying beside him. Where'd you go? His mind changed when he saw the time though. It was nearly afternoon. 

He got up to get himself coffee when he saw the baking ingredients and utensils scattered everywhere. Fuck, he cursed himself. That's why you weren't there.

"Y/n?" Felix called out. If you were mad at him you'd sleep anywhere but your shared bedroom. So he figured that you'd be in the guestroom.

When he made it there, you were still out like a light. He gently laid down beside you and wrapped his arms around you. This motion woke you up and you almost leaned into his touch. But remembering why you slept here in the first place, made you scoot away. Felix didn't let you get away though. He only pulled you closer and held you tighter.

"Why weren't you by my side this morning? Why are you sleeping in the guestroom?"

Silence.

"I woke up in a cold bed."

Silence.

"Are you just going to ignore me?"

Silence.

Felix nuzzled his nose into your neck. This would usually make you laugh but in these circumstances, you were too disappointed to. Your boyfriend softly sighed.

"I'm sorry, Love. I know, I know I was supposed to have a date with you last night. But I was dumb and I forgot. I went out drinking instead. Then I left you at home, worried that I got into some kind of trouble. I'm sorry that I upset you. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

You turned around to face him. "I'm not upset. Just disappointed." You placed your face on his chest. Your boyfriend could feel the tears dampen his shirt.

"I know, Love. I'm sorry." Felix gently rocked you until you both eventually fell back asleep. 

When the two of you awoke, he definitely made it up to you. You finally had the date you'd been waiting for.

"You're not allowed to stand me up on a date again."

"Yes m'lady." He said as he bowed.

You softly chuckled. One step backwards and two steps forward. That's the positive version of the phrase and you'd like to keep it that way. ~~~ KIM SEUNGMIN According to your Bumble date, he wanted to meet at 11:00 a.m. sharp at the small cafe by the amusement park. So where was he when it's already 2:00 p.m.? You thought you were running late when you showed up at 12 instead of 11. But he's not even here yet. For context, he's Kim Seungmin, age 23, and a hotshot. Were you being impatient? No. You've been waiting for two hours.

But then you began to overthink. What if he already left because you arrived late and he probably thought you stood him up. No way... right? Time was ticking away and before you knew it, it was almost already 4. You decided to leave before one of the workers got fed up with you ordering coffee after coffee.

Well considering that you were already here, might as well go to the amusement park. 

As you turned down the road you felt a hand gently grasp your wrist. You turned around in shock. There Seungmin stood with a guilty smile. You were a bit confused. He just so happened to appear as soon as you were ready to leave.

"Umm... hey." He said nervously. "Oh, sorry!" Seungmin dropped your hand and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "I was supposed to come sooner but I completely forgot. Actually, no! That makes me sound stupid. I was just really nervous."

You just stood there, not sure of what to say. "Okay..." You held out the last syllable.

"Shit. Fuck. Sorry. I'm leaving a really bad impression on you, aren't I." He awkwardly chuckled before continuing. "What I meant to say was, I was too shy to meet you. Umm... I worked really hard on my look. I even got a haircut. The outfit! I spent a lot of time choosing it. I wasn't sure what you liked. When I was done, I saw that I was running late but I still had to drive for an hour. When I got here, I was so sure that you left because what kind of asshole leaves their date alone for 3 hours. But when I saw you still waiting for me I got nervous again because you look stunning. Then I felt like I didn't look good enough and all the time and effort I put into my look couldn't compare to yours. So I was stuck in my car contemplating why I thought I could come. But then I saw you leaving and you were too good to lose. So I chased after you and here we are. I must be talking too much, especially about myself. And you must think I'm a klutz or something."

Seungmin slowly looked up at you. "Sorry, I've been rambling. Do I... seem like a klutz to you?"

And here you were thinking that it was you. You began to chuckle, nodding your head. His face dropped. 

"Oh God... am I really that bad?"

You shook your head. "No. In fact, you're everything I've been searching for. Who would ever think a good-looking guy like yourself would get this nervous meeting a girl for the first time?"

"Oh." He said stunned, making you laugh more.

"Well would you like to make it up to me instead of standing here looking so clueless?"

Seungmin immediately nodded his head. He was quite the guy considering his looks.

"Then take me to the amusement park up the road and I'll forgive you."

Safe to say, he was an amazing guy and an amazing date. The two of you were only able to enjoy for about three hours but it was enough for you to know, 

"I'll love him for the rest of my life." ~~~ YANG JEONGIN After putting on your finishing touches of makeup, you were ready to head out the door. You had already calculated. Taking the bus there would take about thirty minutes so you need to get going before 12:30 because Jeongin wanted to meet by 1 o'clock. 

When you arrived, you were only waiting for about five minutes when you got a text from him.

"Sorry"

"Can't come."

"I'll make it up to you later."

"Promise🤞🏻"

You sighed and texted back,

"Ok👌🏻"

 It wasn't like Jeongin to cancel on a date. But you already put all this effort into showing up, maybe you should just roam around a bit. Just as you were about to leave, you got another text.

"Okay, now I feel bad especially since we haven't been on a date in forever😞"

The text made you chuckle a bit.

"It's fine Innie😭"

"No it's not😡"

You couldn't stop laughing to yourself as you read the messages. Your boyfriend only continued to send more texts, feeling the need to explain himself.

"Now, I didn't want to cancel the date."

ping

"But I have a bit of a problem.🤏🏻"

ping

"Well maybe not a bit."

ping

"More like 7 problems.🙄"

ping

*attachment sent*

It was a photo of the boys following Jeongin around. Trying to get intel on this date of his. Of course they'd want to know who their maknae was dating. They were all wearing funny disguises and trying to hide themselves every time Jeongin took a photo. Bang Chan would try to hide behind a lamppost or a wall. Hyunjin pretending to read a newspaper. Changbin, for some reason, pretended to work out in the middle of the street. Minho pretended to walk one of his cats as if he wasn't holding Soonie in his arms the whole time. The rest of them dressed as ahjummas and turned to talk in a group like they aren't following Jeongin. Jeongin had a little pout on his face.

ping

"These dodo birds won't stop following me🤢🤬 and I don't want to get you involved.😞"

The people around you probably thought you were crazy. You were full on losing your shit as you viewed the photos.

"I think they just love you, Innie😘🥰😍"

ping

"Because I'm just that good🤧"

"Whatever you say🥱"

ping

"Do you not agree😢"

Then you left him on read.

ping

"HEY!😡"

ping

"I CAN LITERALLY SEE YOU READING THIS😤"

ping

"ANSWER ME!🤬"

Welp. You'll respond when he makes up for the date.

[frvnkcastles]

SICK AND TIRED ➸ F. CASTLE

Summary: After being taken by Frank’s enemies, you struggle to adjust to the new normal.

Warnings: ATTEMPTED S**CIDE, ov*rdose, PTSD, mentions of the trauma, nightmares, panic attack, hurt/comfort, feminine nicknames. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION.

Word count: 2.7k

Author’s note: If the warnings trigger you, I urge you to sit this one out!! You don’t deserve to feel any worse. That said, if you’re like me and need a Frank this week, he’s rooting for you and holding your hand through whatever it is you’re dealing with right now. I can’t promise it’ll get any better soon, but I do know you’ve made it through all your bad days thus far. Sometimes taking it day by day is too difficult and you gotta take it hour by hour or minute by minute, and that’s perfectly fine too. Much love <3

(Also, I combined a few requests for this.)

The cool water trickling out of the showerhead above you made you hiss and grit your teeth together, but despite the angry expression, full tears trailed along the edges of your nose. The droplets singed your skin as they ran across the colorful bruises and shallow cuts littering your limbs, and you couldn’t stop from pulling equally empty breaths while bringing your shaky hands up to your body to wash away the grime and blood painting you in ugly hues.

Frank was seated on the toilet, eyes glued to you and his face contorted in a hurt frown which only mixed with the pure rage soaring through his system. He knew he had already made everyone responsible pay — in fact, he had gone above and beyond, disfigured each of their faces and made sure they had felt his pain before taking their last breath. Still, it didn’t feel like enough. If he had had the power to bring them back to life only to take it away again, he would have. He would have done anything for you.

That was why he had offered to help you wash up, too, hovering over you after carrying you home. You could tell he was hesitant to touch you, needing the closeness but not wanting to hurt you any further. You had insisted you needed the control of doing something for yourself, so you had gotten in the shower by yourself, but with your permission, Frank had sat down on the toilet to just be with you, whatever you wanted that to mean.

He couldn’t fight the bitter tears, either, his heart caving in on itself as he watched you cry and tremble in an attempt to clean yourself from what they had done to you. It could have been much worse, he knew that, but seeing just a single bruise on your skin made him sick to his stomach and sent him into a spiral of guilt and anger.

When you were done, Frank was up in a blink of an eye to grab your towel and help you wrap yourself in the soft material. You winced at the contact, but when Frank tried to pull back, you reached for his hand in a desperate squeeze.

”Don’t leave me”, you pleaded, sounding weaker than you had expected, and it did everything to convince Frank to inch in closer.

”I gotchu, sweetheart. I ain’t goin’ anywhere, I swear”, he whispered, leaning down to kiss your forehead, holding your hand in his.

And he stood by that. Stood by you. When you spent the upcoming night sobbing in bed, he soothed and shushed you, rubbing circles on your back while simply holding you and allowing you to get it all out. You didn’t feel safe outside of his arms, and he had no problem keeping you in a warm embrace for as long as you wanted him to, his tight grip reminding you he was there and you were home.

It quickly dawned on the two of you that while you were no longer being tortured in a dark cellar, taunted by your captors that Frank would never find you, the worst was not over yet.

On the third night back home, you had your first nightmare, and Frank found himself talking you out of a panic attack at four in the morning. It wasn’t your first time dealing with it, but it was the worst you had had in a while, leaving you paralyzed and breathless on the bathroom floor where he held your face in his hands and tried to remind you how to keep the air flowing through you.

The nightmares became a habit, then, and when they did, Frank began to suspect you were dealing with the same thing he was.

”Hey, ’m here”, his gruff voice pushed through the fog in your mind, making it hard to realize you weren’t tied up God knows where — you were home, in bed, with the man who you loved and who loved you. ”Sweetheart, you’re with me, yeah? Feel that? ’M all real”, he continued, gently reaching for your hand so he could place it on his bare chest. You were both sitting up, tangled in the sheets that felt all too hot and consuming, suffocating you slowly but surely. Frank noticed, drawing the covers away from you and placing his free hand on your thigh.

”I got you, hey, hey, shh… You’re okay, baby. It ain’t real, I promise. Just your head playin’ tricks on you, sweet girl”, he went on, and nodding to confirm his words, you clung onto his neck and tried to slow your breathing.

”I was… they—they were trying to…”, you stammered, not even sure how to put the horrifying nightmare into words, but he understood. He always understood.

”I know, sweetheart, I know. But they ain’t gon’ hurt you again. ’Member? I made sure of that”, he reminded, and managing another nod, you licked your lips and rested your head against his chest.

”Frank, I’m so tired”, you cried out, your eyes weary but your mind unwilling to go to sleep, and knowing exactly the feeling, he sighed and wrapped an arm around your shaking body.

”Wish I could take ’em away from you. Y’know I would”, he whispered, trying to keep his voice soft even if he was furious that the assholes that did this to you had gotten off so easy. Death could be merciful, at times, and he suspected you were beginning to realize that after two weeks of no sleep.

Clearing his throat, he tilted his head down to look at you. ”How ’bout we head to the diner and get you somethin’ to eat? Yeah? Get your mind off of it?” he suggested, and with a drowsy smile, you thanked him.

There was no doubt you quickly became regulars of the diner around the corner.

If only your pain had been limited to the nightmares. Instead, every time Frank reached to touch you, you flinched. Every time there was a sudden sound in or outside of the apartment you were now huddled up in, you jumped. Whenever there was actually a need to go outside, you avoided it as best as you could, only agreeing to leave if Frank was by your side the whole time. It became harder and harder to trust anyone except him, and even harder to keep your mind off of what happened. It was like your whole worldview had been tilted on its axis and you felt like you were slowly losing your mind.

It wasn’t like it was all bad. Some days you laughed, some days Frank treated you extra special, and he never faltered from his place of support and love for you. He was patient, even more than you had expected him to be. But the matter of the reality was, you no longer had good days. Or if you did, then the bar for having one was much lower than everyone else’s. To you, a good day was managing to get out of bed and not throw in the towel. A good day was only a few flashbacks, only a few nightmares, only a few intrusive memories.

And eventually, you figured it was becoming too much. You were becoming too much.

”Hey, can I… can I talk to you about something?” you asked quietly, approaching Frank on the couch where he was seated with a bottle of beer and a football game on TV. As soon as the words had left your mouth, though, his focus was all on you, the volume of the television turned down and the bottle placed on the coffee table.

”’Course, baby. C’mere”, he gestured at the free space next to him, and with an awkward fiddle of your hands, you moved to sit there with your body angled towards him.

”I just… I thought I should, uh, give you an out. You know, you didn’t… you didn’t sign up for this. And I feel like a burden—you don’t have to tell me I’m not. I know I am. I’m not the same woman I used to be and you may have been in love with her but if you’re not in love with… whoever I am now, that’s okay”, you explained, choking up but rushing to wipe away the tears. The last thing you wanted was for Frank to stay with you out of pity.

He stared at you for a while, silent and clearly surprised by what you had come to him with. But when he finally seemed to process what you had actually said, he chuckled quietly and shook his head.

”Darlin’…”, he mumbled, a sad look in his eyes as he looked up at you. ”Fuckin’ kills me you think that way ’bout yourself. Hey, I goddamn adore you. I always have and I always will. I ain’t gonna walk away just because things got a little tough. Hell, I’ve made shit tough this whole time. And if anything, it’s my fault—”, Frank started, but you cut him off before he could blame himself any further.

”It’s not your fault. It’s not. It’s those… assholes that we should blame. I don’t blame you, Frank, I swear”, you insisted, and he nodded in a quick response.

”I know you don’t. But I still do. If it wasn’t for me, none of that shit woulda happened”, he emphasized, licking his lips before exhaling and reaching for your hand. ”You mean everythin’ to me, baby. Ain’t nothin’ gon’ change that, I swear.”

You wanted so badly to cling onto those words. You tried your best, you really did. But then on one night that he was spending on a stakeout, you were left alone with the dark pit of your thoughts and you began spinning out. You didn’t want to cause him pain, but what if that was exactly what you were doing? What if you being alive was more painful? What if going away would be a relief for him?

Before you knew it, you were clamoring through the piles and piles of medications you had been given in the past months, and with only a second’s hesitation, you made your decision. You took as many of them as you could bear, one pill after the other, until you physically couldn’t anymore. You lost count but eventually your throat began resisting and your head started to sway. Only then you curled up in bed by yourself, eyes welling up with tears as you begged for a release from all the pain inside you.

As you drifted off, Frank came home earlier than you had anticipated. He called out to you while dropping his bag of ammunition by the front door, only to be met with silence. A frown etched onto his face, but figuring it was already late, he quietly and carefully weaved through the furniture and into the bedroom where he found you, a smile springing to his lips.

”Sweetheart”, he whispered, kneeling next to you, his fingertips delicately moving your hair away from your face. ”Hey, darlin’. ’M home”, he continued, breaking into a concerned look when there was no reaction. Not even a stir, not even a huff.

Then he realized your skin was going cold and clammy. You looked… unwell, to say the least. Swallowing thickly, he felt your throat only for a barely-there pulse to throb against his fingers, and with a panicked exhale, Frank ran his hand through his hair.

”Shit. No, no, no, fuck!” he hissed, bolting up just enough to rush to the bathroom and find the pill bottles in the sink. He made it back to your side, cradling your face in both hands. ”Sweetheart, please. Please, I need you. Come on, girl”, he begged, his heart racing as he supported your head with shaky hands. You were limp and he felt a wave of nausea surge through his stomach as he began gathering you in his arms.

”Stay with me, please. Don’t go”, he pleaded, standing up with your body in his arms, making his way through the front door and to his truck with quick strides. He placed you on the passenger seat and buckled you in before running to his side of the car and starting the engine.

He thanked whatever superior power had cleared all the streets for him — it was quite late, but either way, he was glad he didn’t need to wait in traffic. Instead, he drove erratically, swerving from one street to another with no regard to the traffic rules; he needed to get to the hospital now.

All concern for his very public and very wanted face flew out the window. He carried your lifeless body through the doors, shouting for help, feeling like he might throw up and collapse onto the floor from pure grief any second. He couldn’t do this. Not again.

It was all a blur after a nurse came with a gurney and you were wheeled away. He was sobbing at that point, not even aware enough to fight the other nurse that came to guide him away from the doors. Next thing he knew, he was sitting in a bleak room, eyes tired and puffy, his ears focused on the steady beep of the monitor you were hooked into. They had given him a long explanation of what they had done to help you, but all he could hear was that she’s still alive. Not a goddamn thing other than that mattered to him.

He was still shaky, watching your unconscious body on the pristine sheets, your soft figure wrapped up in a pale hospital gown. He hadn’t dared to touch you, only sat by your side for hours, the moonlight shining through the window and the quiet chatter of the hospital keeping him company.

It was his fucking fault. He knew that. He believed that. And he couldn’t live with himself, didn’t know how to sit still with that sickening feeling that he was the reason you were lying here. He was the reason you wanted to end your life.

When you came to, it took you a moment to realize where you were. But once the sounds and smells of a hospital registered in your head and you saw the monitor next to you, you broke into a desperate cry. Frank had nearly nodded off, but he jolted awake at your weak sob.

”No, no, no…”, you pleaded, cradling your head in your hands, ”I don’t want to be here.”

Your words took a piece of Frank’s broken heart and shoved it through his chest. He had never heard you so defeated, so utterly broken. You sounded so disappointed.

”Baby”, he whispered, reaching for your hand with his bigger one. ”Baby, I’m here”, he continued, fragile and quiet.

As soon as you looked over to him and saw him still by your side, still refusing to let go, you just… broke. The tears escaped you in ugly hiccups and you lifted one trembling hand to your mouth as you wept.

”I’m here, okay, sweetheart?” he gathered some of his voice back to reassure you. ”I’m here. And I’m not fuckin’ leavin’ until you tell me to. I’m never gonna leave you, I promise, sweet girl, I promise”, he rambled, peppering the back of your hand with kisses.

He cried too, climbing up to kiss the top of your head and hug you as gently as he could, his face buried in the crook of your neck. ”I love you. I love you, I fuckin’ love you. Please stay with me, sweetheart”, he begged. ”I’m so sorry.”

"I just wanted to set us both free”, you whispered, and squeezing his eyes shut, Frank held you close to him.

”I’ll say it as many times as you need me to, baby. I want to be with you. I want you. I need you”, he insisted, leaving another kiss on your forehead. His arms supported you against his firm chest and you clung onto him for dear life, comforted by his warmth.

Seven days later, you were officially diagnosed with PTSD. And Frank? He held your hand through it from beginning to end, not once wavering. He told you about his own diagnosis, his own nightmares, flashbacks, the whole deal. He did his everything to reassure you that you weren’t alone. As long as he had a breath in him, you weren’t going to be.

And you promised to try your very best to believe him.

[darlingsfandom]

If your free (it's ok when your busy and need rest 😁 take care)

When Tommy and changretta reader have their first child a daughter . The little girl reminded Tommy of his late daughter ruby he's soft with her (plus protective) y/n can tell after he told her about what happened . He's got a chance with a daughter again it went well she's a daddy's girl with y/n can't stop smiling how her daughter makes Tommy soft to protective

I was going to make this a blurb but I decided to headcanon it instead!

•Tommy is 100% a girl dad!

•When he found out you were pregnant he actually cried ! He couldn’t believe it at first but after going to the doctor with you he was still in shock!

•it took a few tries to get you pregnant but he wasn’t complaining one bit on that!

•He got Arthur and John to help him set up the nursery which was a light pink!

•The whole family gave you a huge baby shower! Spoiled you with little dresses, shoes and even a cap to match Tommy’s!

•after you had your daughter Tommy instantly fell in love with her! She had your eyes and his nose! And more hair than John ! That was a Tommy joke.

•The first couple of months were hard for the both of you. The sleep schedule was trash. You couldn’t get out of bed, Tommy missed Ruby at times because this was his second daughter but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her any less.

•Her name ? Lillian Polly Shelby ! Of course she’s gotta be named after aunt Polly! Everyone called her Lilly for short.

•Tommy helped her take her first steps! He was a little salty her first word was Mama but she soon learned dada afterwards.

•When she was actually talking in short sentences she did really well. Tommy was in a meeting when she came in running around yelling “fuck!” All the men laughed including Tommy. He’d tell her that’s a grown up word to which she’d argue how he uses it all the time and so does mommy !

•on her fifth birthday Tommy gave her a locket that a picture of you and him in it! She loved that locket and wore it everywhere !!

•One her first day of school she came home upset because she missed the two of you! That night Tommy read her a bedtime story twice!

•As she got older she started noticing boys and Tommy did not like that ! She brought home a boy to study and Tommy made sure to keep his gun out to scare the boy and it worked.

•Lilly came home crying one day from school because a group of girls told her she’s ugly and that boiled his blood! He talked to his daughter about how looks don’t matter and its brains! He talked about how he fell in love with you and not just because you’re pretty but because you’re smart, funny, a good kisser to which she made a face ! Tommy got her to laugh !

•Soon enough his baby girl was graduating and going off to uni! He paid her for to go. She decided to go for business because she wanted to be like Tommy just not as violent!

•she’d visit on breaks and Tommy would always send her back to school with a little letter to remind her of home.

•Lilly met a boy! She brought him home one day and Tommy tested him in every way possible. He did not approve! Tommy knew the boy only liked her because of her name and money!

•He comforted Lilly. When she went back to study she focused hard and graduated top of her class.

•A few years later she did meet a boy that Tommy approved of! He even shook the boys hand the night they met! Pretty soon it was wedding day.

•Tommy held onto Lilly’s arm tightly doing his best to hold back his tears but it was impossible and started crying when he said “Her mother and I do!” And sat down next to you as he watched his little girl get married.

•When Tommy found out he was going to be a grandpa he about died! He was excited !

•When Lilly had the baby, she had a boy and named him Benjamin Thomas ! Tommy cried hearing that his grandson had his name! Tommy had lived a beautiful life .

[stuckysbike]

Would you ever write a part 2 to moonlight kisses, where bucky and reader go on their date and reader expresses her insecurities about the date cause she never thought that he would go out with her, and the date is just pure fluff

Snowflake Cuddles

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, insecurity. Fluff. So much fluff.

Summary: your family change their Christmas plans last moment and now you’re left with no one for the holidays. On top of that your new boyfriend can’t be that into you, can he? And how will his friends react to you?

A/N: based on the prompt, I know it’s not exactly what you wanted but I figured it might be a few weeks before those insecurities raised their ugly head. Also self indulgent, I’m sorry to all the Donna’s out there. It’s nothing personal (except for one, she knows who she is lol)

You were nervous.

After three weeks of dating Bucky you were hanging out with friends for the first time together.

When it was just the two of you it had been glorious. Bucky was thoughtful, tender and so very sweet and he made you feel like you were the centre of his universe. He made you feel unique and treasured, but now, now the doubts were creeping in.

It all started when your family ditched you on Christmas.

You were supposed to be travelling home but your brother who was getting married next year had convinced your parents to spend Christmas with his fiancées family.

“We’ll fit you in someplace,” your mom had said on the weekly family video call. It was Saturday morning with a little over a week to go until the holidays.

“But there is no space,” Donna said with a shrug. “My parents are having a big celebration and the house will be packed. A lot of my family will be there.”

“Isn’t there a hotel a few miles down the road?” Your dad suggested.

“Good idea,” Donna said smugly.

“I have to go!”you suddenly cried. “Somethings happened it’s all hands on deck!”

“What could you possibly help with?” Donna scoffed and you ignored her wishing your family goodbye and closing your laptop.

You resisted the urge to cry but things went from bad to worse as the day wore on threatening to unleash the dam.

“I’m sorry Doll, I forgot about this Friendmas thing,” Bucky said. “We have to cook something for it too.”

“That’s okay,” you said and it was. You didn’t want to be that clingy girl but you were feeling so sorry for yourself and snuggling with Bucky felt like the perfect remedy to your internal ailments.

Bucky cocked his head to the side and examined your face carefully. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “Nothing.” You smiled as bright as you could. Bucky made a noise and next thing you knew he had pulled you to your feet and wrapped his arms around you.

He was warm against your body, and his lips dragged against your neck. “Babygirl.”

You shook your head again. His fingers dragged up your hips to your waist and you buried your face into his chest.

“Do I gotta’ tickle it out huh?”

You giggled and pushed at his chest but it was like shoving a truck. He stood solid gazing down at you with warmth in his blue eyes.

“I’m just feeling a little blue,” you admitted hoping it was enough.

“Ready to tell me why?” He probed. You bit the inside of your cheek and shook your head. “Promise you will?”

You could feel your cheeks heat up and you ducked your head but he tucked his fingers under your chin and lifted your face to him. His kiss was tender and sweet and you sighed into him. How was he always so perfect.

“Okay, so, cooking for Friendsmas,” he tugged you behind him to the kitchen. “I’m to do sides, so any ideas?”

You worked together all afternoon, preparing food and sipping ridiculous cocktails Bucky insisted on creating. You told him of your families beliefs and how they celebrated the winter season and Bucky in turn shared memories of growing up and his own family traditions.

Time flew past and soon enough it was dark outside. Bucky poured each of you a drink and you giggled when he gripped your waist and easily set you on the counter. He moved between your legs and gave you a sly smirk that had your thighs clenching together.

“Nope,” he teased his thumbs massaging your legs.

“What time do you have to be there?” You asked him as you smoothed out the wrinkles on his shoulders.

Bucky frowned, a look of confusion on his face quickly followed by realisation. “Oh sweet Dolly, is that why you’ve been down? You’re invited to Friendmas too,” Bucky said.

You swallowed. You should have been happy you were being included but instead nerves fluttered in your tummy. You would be there as Bucky’s girlfriend.

Or would you?

You hadn’t labelled your relationship, and it was called Friendmas. Maybe he would get there and see the stunning girls he was friendly with and drop you like a hot potato. He and Natasha had a thing? Right?

And they were all so amazing, beautiful and smart and highly skilled, you just did not fit into any of those categories. You felt average. You acted average. You were average.

Maybe Bucky was bored? Maybe that’s why he showed interest in you? Bored of beauty? But that was unlikely. Maybe you were a good time distraction for a few weeks…

You walked together to the main common room, your arms full of dishes of delicious food. Natasha was there already and she beamed at you as you came through the door. She looked stunning in leggings and an oversized Christmas jumper.

You blushed and smiled to her, suddenly shy. “We need to talk.” Her face turned stern and her tone dark. Was she about to chase you away from her guy?

“Go easy Nat,” Bucky’s voice was playful as he came to a stop next to you.

People hurried and scurried around you trying to warm food and get everyone seated so dinner could start. The chaos distracted Natasha thankfully and soon you found yourself between Sam and Bucky and opposite Steve.

You forgot your insecurities as you chatted to everyone around you. The team were playful and happy and you couldn’t help but relax into the group. Bucky’s solid arm rested along the back of your chair and you snuggled into him without thinking.

After dessert you found yourself in the kitchen alone with Natasha. “Leave that,” she said as you eyed the pile of dishes hoping she would head back to the party. Instead she caught your hand and pulled you away, tugging you outside and onto one of the swing seats. A blanket was tucked under you and Natasha rested her chin on her knee. “Spill.”

“Uh, a-about what?” You asked.

“Bucky,” she began with a chuckle. “You’ve been dating a few weeks now right?”

You paused, listening to the creaking of the swing seat as it moved gently. It was snowing, and you could taste the fresh cold on your tongue.

“I’m not really sure what it is yet,” you admitted.

“Is he romantic?” She sighed. Her eyes were soft and her smile sincere and you couldn’t help but think she was being genuine in her interest. “He’s been pining after you for the longest time. He better be treating you like a Queen.”

“I thought that you two-“

Natasha laughed. “God no! We’re friends. We hang out. Sometimes he sleeps over because he’s less likely to have nightmares if he bunks down next to someone, but we’re not like that.”

“But I thought, the other night, with your feet in-“ you flushed and Natasha smiled gently.

“He gives great foot rubs. He likes PDA’s, likes touch. It grounds him. Oh honeybee I can’t believe that you thought he and I were a thing.” She took your hand and kissed your knuckles. “He’s crazy for you, has been for months.”

“Really?” You asked.

“Really,” Bucky’s voice came from behind.

You startled and looked around at him. Natasha excused herself and Bucky took her place pulling you onto his lap. He used his foot to shove the swing back for a moment before letting go.

“You are so beautiful,” Bucky said. His voice was low and rough and it went straight to your core. “I want you to be all mine baby.”

“Okay,” you swallowed.

“I mean it. Something was bothering you earlier? Was it me? Did I do something?”

“No, no you’re perfect,” you said and he smiled, his eyes crinkled.

“I’m far from perfect,” he kissed your forehead.

You sat for a while thinking about your day.

“My parents cancelled on me for Christmas,” you said after a while. You explained the whole thing, your stuck up sister in law to be, your parent’s ignorance of your feelings. It all came out.

Bucky didn’t speak but his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and over your arms. You snuggled close to him and he eventually dropped his lips to your hair.

“Their loss is my gain. I can think of nothing better than spending Christmas with you. We’ll make love by the roaring fire and spend the day doting on each other.”

You giggled and shook your head. “Bucky you’re going skiing with your friends.”

“Yeah, and I’m bringing my girlfriend now as well,” Bucky said.

“I can’t ski,” you pouted.

Bucky’s eyes lit up and he pressed another kiss to your lips.

“We can split our time between lessons and lovin’ baby,” he promised.

You laughed at him and his ridiculous ideas but you couldn’t deny it sounded fun. Your mind was already going into overdrive trying to figure out what you would need before leaving.

You soon rejoined the party and Bucky dropped easily into a large armchair, pulling you after him onto his lap. Despite the heat in your face you got comfortable on his lap and watched as the rest of the team argued over how to spend the rest of the evening.

No one said anything about you sitting on Bucky’s lap but you did notice several fond smiles being sent your way. Perhaps no one was surprised or disgusted, perhaps they were just happy for their friends.

“Stay with me tonight?” Bucky’s voice was low and rough as his lips caressed your ear.

You were nervous but you had nothing to be nervous about.

“Okay, I will,” you said pressing a playful kiss to his chin.

[choke-me-joey]

Eddie Munson x fem metalhead cheerleader

Summary: Based on this - how Eddie met his not so typical cheerleader girlfriend and a little exploration of their relationship.

Content warning: 18+ content minors DNI, smoking, underage drinking, drug use, swearing, flirting, smut.

Author's note: I'm sorry.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

"Oh god! Eddie! Eddie, don't stop, don't stop!" Your knees are burning from the scratchy carpet beneath them, and your back is starting to ache from the harsh arch, but the way he was fucking you from behind, staring at you in the full length mirror of your bedroom was more than worth it.

"M'not gonna stop, baby, gotta feel you cream on my cock one more time before I fill this perfect pussy up, yeah? Can you do that for me, princess?" Eddie grits out, the room filled with the sound of skin on skin and his pants and your moans

"Mm, yeah, but want you to cum in my mouth!" You cry out in pleasure as he pulls on your ponytail, yanking your head back.

"Jesus, fuck, baby, you trying to kill me?!" He growls, huffing out a laugh as you smirk at him. He pushes you back down so your chin is pretty much touching the floor, back arched so your ass is up for him as he fucks you, all the while you're maintaining eye contact in the mirror.

You'd already fucked most of the night and as soon as you'd woken up you had, quote, "sucked the soul" out of Eddie's cock, but you honestly couldn't get enough of each other. Once you had finished blowing him and he had finished fucking your brains out in your shower, you'd made him breakfast, bringing it up to your bedroom to eat and he'd said you looked fucking sexy with a plate of waffles in your hand, which had led to you on all fours in front of your mirror.

Your pussy was so sore, so sensitive but you couldn't give a fuck. You craved Eddie like nothing you'd ever experienced before, and he had told you the same. His cock pounds into your g-spot as he keeps a bruising hold on your hips, and your orgasm sneaks up on you, making you cry out his name and your knees almost give out.

"Shit, fuck, baby, turn around-" Eddie gasps, his breath hitching like it did before he came, and you quickly do so. Eddie whips off the condom and you swallow his cock down immediately, taking him to the back of your throat and allowing him to fuck your face. It only takes a few thrusts of his hips before he's spilling into your mouth with heavy pants and a grunt. Your eyes flick up to him as you take his load, pulling off his cock and showing him his seed on your tongue before swallowing with a devilish grin.

Eddie laughs in disbelief, collapsing onto your bed and pulling you with him.

"Where have you been all my life?" He asks, still breathing heavily as he runs his fingers through your hair. "Jesus, I think my dick is gonna fall off."

"Uh uh, not allowed, it's way too good to fall off." You giggle, brushing your nose against his. Eddie squeezed you tighter to him, and for a few minutes you laid in comfortable silence. And then that gnawing feeling reared its ugly head again. After a night of crazy good sex, where it was clear that both of you were after more than simply just getting off. Sleeping together in the same bed with Eddie's arms wrapped around you the ENTIRE time, watching movies together and cuddling, kisses that were soft, tender and loving, it was like you were a couple already.

So...were you?

"So, uh..." you both say at the same time.

"Oh, you first," Eddie says and you laugh, shaking your head.

"You first, I'm always the one talking first."

"Okay, so, uh, I've been thinking, you know, in the small amount of time I've had between, y'know, mind blowing orgasms." He chuckles, sitting up on his elbows and looking down at you laid next to him. "Is this-" he gestures between the two of you "I mean...do you want- I mean, I definitely want but I don't know if you want this to be- fuck, why is this so hard?"

You giggle, unable to hide your smile.

"Eddie, just say it." You say gently, and he links his fingers through yours.

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

"Honestly, I was getting tired of waiting for you to ask," you grin, rolling on top of him and kissing him. "Yeah, I really wanna be your girlfriend. Do you wanna be my boyfriend?"

"Abso-fucking-lutley, baby."

**

A few weeks pass, and you and Eddie had made no secret of your relationship despite the odd looks you'd first gotten when you'd strolled through the halls of Hawkins High hand in hand. Eddie was reluctant at first, not wanting the backlash to rain down on you for dating the resident Satanic-cult leading freak, but you promptly told him that you did not care. You were happy, he was happy, fuck everyone else.

The last few weeks were a brilliant blur, filled with dates, DnD, make out sessions leading to more mind blowing orgasms than you could count, and late night sneaking out of the house, or sneaking Eddie into your room because you both missed each other too much. You knew you were in love with him, and he was with you, but neither of you had the balls to say it yet.

Well, at least that's what you thought.

On your month anniversary of dating, you and Eddie had arranged to meet in the woods after he'd carried out a quick deal; you weren't able to hang out tonight thanks to homework, but you had an hour to spend with your beloved Eddie before you'd have to go home. At least you'd have time to celebrate a little.

And Eddie was going to tell you he loved you.

Your last period was gym, which ran over a little, so Eddie had a little time to get himself to your spot, and make sure he looked presentable and not like a nervous wreck. He'd never told anyone he loved them before, apart from his mom years ago and maybe Wayne once or twice. And yeah sure he loved his guitar, and he loved Metallica and he loved weed but you....you came above all of that. His future, marriage, kids, all of that had never crossed his mind before you'd spoken to him and now, now it was all he could think about when he thought of you.

Maybe it was too soon, but Eddie was 20, soon to be 21, and Wayne had been nagging on him more and more recently to start getting his act together for a better future. He didn't want to be stuck in his grimy bedroom for the next 40 years.

Eddie's heart was already pounding and his palms were sweaty as the final bell of the day rang, and he quickly made his way to his locker to pick up some stuff before meeting you. He input the code, gave it a smack as usual and the door swung open, and a small Polaroid fell out and onto the floor by Eddie's feet.

"What the-" Eddie definitely hadn't left that there. He bent down, chuckling as he picked it up. You were so cute, leaving him little pictures in his-

"Fuck?" When he turned the Polaroid over, his blood ran cold.

It was a picture of a very naked you. He knew it was you, he'd had more than enough experience with your naked body to know it was, despite your face being cut off from your mouth up. Spread out on your back, tits on display and a hand teasingly covering your pussy. The hand that wasn't covering your pussy was sucking your finger suggestively. Below the photo was a note that made Eddie feel like he had been punched in the stomach and chest simultaneously.

You didn't think she really wanted you, did you?

Eddie's heart hammered in his fucking ears as he stuffed the picture into his pocket. He slammed his locker shut and stormed out of the building.

**

You didn't bother to change out of your gym clothes to meet Eddie; he'd made a comment about the shorts looking "fucking hot" on you once before and honestly, you pretty much figured they wouldn't be staying on for long.

When you approached your meeting spot, you immediately sensed something was off. Eddie was pacing, when usually he'd just be sat at the picnic bench rolling a joint or something. Maybe his deal hadn't gone well?

"Hey handsome," you smile as he glances in your direction as he hears you approaching. He doesn't return your smile. "Eddie? You okay?"

He lets out a humourless laugh, and your stomach twists. This wasn't like him at all. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something, throwing it down onto the picnic table.

"So, Y/N, trying to make your way through all the guys in the senior year, huh? Ticked off all the guys on the football team, basketball team, swim team, thought you'd check off the freak of Hawkins too?"

You glance down at the object on the table, and your hand flies to your mouth when you realise what it is. You snatch it up, reading the note on the bottom.

"Eddie, this-this isn't what-"

"It looks like?" Eddie sneers and you flinch at his tone. It's cruel, cold, the opposite of your Eddie. "Please, Y/N, I'm not fucking stupid."

"And I'm telling you this isn't what you think!" You protest. "I'm with you, Eddie, I lo-"

"Don't. Don't fucking go there, Y/N." He hisses, and you curse at yourself for letting tears escape. "I'm sorry I put a temporary stop in your Dicks of Hawkins High checklist, but don't worry, you can tick me off and carry on."

"W-what?" Your blood runs cold and you stare at Eddie, who doesn't meet your eyes. His own eyes look red and wet and he hastily wipes at them with the sleeve of his shirt. "Eddie, what are you saying?"

He stays silent. You let out a sharp exhale, your sadness suddenly flipping to anger. Who the fuck did he think he was?!

"You're not even going to give me a chance to explain? You automatically just assume that, what, I'm a whore and this whole time I've just been gearing up to hurt you? Fuck you, Munson." You spit out with a venomous scoff, concealing a sob. He watches as you snatch up the picture and stuff it in your bag before walking away. When you've disappeared from sight, he drives his fist into the nearest tree trunk, cursing out loud.

What had he done?

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[kvetchinglyneurotic]

They're up at Burnley and it's snowing; lightly at first, a dusting of white over grass through the second half that had them shivering in their kits as they slid mud-spattered across the pitch. They'd won thanks to the fucking Roy Kent effect, everyone except Jamie 'cause that'd require coach to actually, well, coach him. To look at a space with Jamie in it and act like he saw a person instead of nothing at all, and he used to wish he was invisible, back when he was a kid dodging fists and snarled words but now he wants to cry, just a bit, 'cause he really is trying and why can't Roy try too?

They're up at Burnley and it's snowing in huge fluffy white flakes as they board the coach and Jamie feels sick, sits in the aisle beside Sam who presses against the window, breath fogging on the glass.

"You know I'd love to give you all a day out in town to celebrate but it looks like it's gonna be a snow day for us, folks," Ted says, stood at the front of the bus with a broad smile under his moustache. They all groan and he chuckles, hands held out in front of him. "Hey, I don't make the weather — and boy, that would be something, wouldn't it? Give y'all a taste of Kansas summer instead of all this rain you've got going on. Or snow, at the moment. Anyhow, we'll make our own fun, won't we boys?"

"It's barely even snowing," Zoreaux grumbles.

Jamie hurries off the coach, ready to crawl under the blankets and draw the curtains where he can't see any of it and he's halfway to the hotel entrance when he realizes Sam isn't with him. Turns and finds him with his face turned up in the middle of the carpark with snow dusted on his hair and his jacket and melting on his skin.

"It's very beautiful," he says softly. Jamie trudges back towards him and there's a look on his face he's never seen before, all wondering and open and in that moment with icy water trickling through his hair and his fingers frozen stiff in his pockets, Jamie thinks everything in his life has been worth it for this moment, watching Sam's face as he watches the snow.

Beside them, Dani kneels to scoop up a handful and yelps, shaking out his hands, pouting with betrayal. "And very cold!"

"You gotta wear gloves, mate," Jamie says. He knocks his shoulder against Dani and Dani knocks back.

"But it looks so soft!"

Inside, Ted leads them to the conference centre instead of up to their rooms and they sit in a circle on the floor, coaches and all. Jamie ends up huddled between Sam and Dani, arms looped over each other's shoulders, two lads who've never seen snow before in their lives and Jamie who has but the cold worms into him more than it does the others, never mind how Isaac teases him that he should be tougher, northern lad that he is.

There are eyes on him, a tiger watching from the brush. Jamie glances up and it's Roy, eyes dark and hard and searching and it's the first time they've met eyes since he returned, maybe ever. Jamie breaks first. Stares down at the carpet instead — ugly fucking thing, pilly and brown and worn out. They're a Championship League team now; can't afford the good hotels any longer. A year ago he'd've thrown a fit, quit in a huff to somewhere that deserved him like he might have done when Ted became gaffer if he hadn't had City to go back to. Only it turned out Richmond had made him too soft to handle Manchester and all that came with it. He'd made it twelve years with dad hanging over his head and then broke after barely a handful of months, huddled in his bathroom with blood in his teeth, told his agent he'd take whatever as long as it was far away.

The door crashes open and it's Zoreaux, back from raiding the hotel bar 'cause Ted wouldn't let him out no matter how much he insisted it weren't a proper snowstorm and the bartender let him buy by the bottle now half the guests who were supposed to come up had cancelled. Pass it around like they had at the curse fire and Jamie still feels stupid for that, a little, spilling his guts everywhere only to be sent back, but part of him wants to try again, just to test.

He hasn't drunk much since he got back, not much appeal in it after dad's drunken rages and the constant refills of neon-coloured cocktails on Lust Conquers All, but he drinks now, both hands wrapped around the bottle of vodka — not vanilla, the regular kind — when it comes his turn, warmer and warmer from the heat of their palms with each round. Sam's slung half over his shoulders and every few seconds he giggles at nothing and Dani says, "what is it, amigo?" and Sam says, "I don't know!" and it just makes him laugh harder. Jamie shoves playfully at his chest — "Right in my ear, mate? Really?" — and they both overbalance so the window stretches above them, one of those long thin floor-to-ceiling things. Looks up at the snow spiralling through the flat white of the sky and like this he can almost feel the cold bite of it on his face, the melting weight of it on his clothes as the water trickles down over his skin.

"I got lost in a snowstorm, once," he says, dreamily. Someone else is talking but they go silent at his voice and that's got to be on the list of prick shit he's not supposed to do, probably, to keep Ted from booting him off the team again, but he can't shove the words back inside now.

"Oh yeah?" Ted asks. "I didn't know y'all got those over here. Sounds like one heck of an experience, Jamie."

He shrugs against the carpet. "Not really. I was s'posed to drive for my da, right, 'cause his usual guy was being a fucking little bitch about it and didn't want to drive in the snow—" that's how dad had put it on the phone when Jamie got called into the principal's office, said his da was on the phone with a family emergency— "and I'd never even been to the fucking neighbourhood, right, so by the time I went and got the car off his mate and his mate gave me this whole fucking stupid lecture about not crashing or getting caught and shit and found the place it was a proper white-out, and my dad had been hanging around so long with this like, massive fucking TV that someone'd called the cops so I just fucking drove off, right? 'Cept I'd never driven in snow before so we got stuck in a ditch and me da sent me out to..." he blinked, bleary with drink. "Dunno. To find someone to tow us or some shit. But I didn't know where the fuck I was and I couldn't see shit so I just walked around 'til I found the road again, and by then dad had got himself unstuck and left, and the buses weren't running so I had to walk home." It's not really a bad story but his heart's pounding all the same and the room's gone quiet. He scratches harder at the carpet; tries to laugh but it comes out strangled and faint. "Good exercise at least, yeah?"

No one says anything, still. The carpet comes up in tufts; he piles them together like he used to do as a kid picking at grass during a fire drill. It's his turn with the vodka again, handed over by a solemn-faced Dani, and he takes a long pull. The alcohol calms the frantic buzz beneath his skin, leaves him tired and heavy and warm, the silence comforting instead of worrying.

After a while, Ted clears his throat. There's a funny tilt to his smile. "Hey, I love me a silver lining. Thanks for sharing that, Jamie," he says, strained. Maybe the cold's got him sick, or maybe it's just the way the floor's spinning that's making him look funny. Jamie flops onto his back.

"Uh-huh. Sure thing, coach."

"It is very stupid to volunteer your criminal history like that," Jan Maas says.

"'S not a crime to drive the getaway car," Jamie says.

"Pretty sure it is, bruv," Isaac says.

"Huh."

"Don't worry, Jamie Tartt! We will not tell anyone!" Dani says, very loudly or else very close to his ear. There's a general murmur of agreement.

"Thanks, amigo. I won't tell anyone 'bout your crimes, neither," Jamie says. "Not that I'm saying you've done crimes and that. But if you have. Unless it's like, murder, maybe. But if you murdered someone they probably deserve it so also not then." He holds up his fist; Dani bumps it on the second try.

"You cannot break a pact made during a snowstorm," Sam says wisely.

"I still can't believe you guys think this is a real snowstorm," Zoreaux says, and Jamie drifts off to a vivid description of the horrors of Montreal in winter.

He blinks awake to find the lads shuffling back to their rooms and Roy crouched over him with his giant fucking caterpillar eyebrows scrunched. The position can't be any good on his knee but Jamie's trying not to get in fights with the coaches so much this season so he doesn't say anything. Roy doesn't, either. He blows out a sigh like one of those panthers Jamie'd seen at the zoo with mummy way back when he was a kid, mouth working like he's trying to force himself to speak.

"Your dad's a piece of shit," he says. "You don't have to find a silver lining." And then he hauls Jamie to his feet and fucking dusts off the carpet lint with the sleeve of his jacket like Jamie's his seven-year-old niece. "You played fine today. Next time you can be fucking great, but first you need to get the fuck out of your head and be more aggressive."

Jamie breaks into a grin. "Aye aye, coach."