#but I genuinely don’t know how the server will keep going without them

[sagesparrow394]

I’m destroyed

[howiscallmewhateveridctaken]

Lmfaooo what a week 😅

So a lot of people are, understandably, leaving the fandom. Drama like this always tends to put people off and unfortunately that affects the media they’ve come to love. I’m not going to be one of those people bc honestly, I don’t even know if I was ever that “in” the fandom in the first place to even leave it. My account isn’t and never was a nevermore account, yes I’ve made a few nevermore post but those were infrequent and amongst posts and reblogs of multiple other fandoms. I’m also in the discord server but I’ve only ever been a lurker, and usually only ever go in it when I want more context to something I’ve seen on tumblr. With that being said however, I still plan on reading nevermore when (or if) it continues because in THIS particular instance I can easily separate art from the artist and I’ll explain why in a moment.

Like I said I’m not and never have been very active in the fandom. I learned about this drama through a post from an account I follow and went through the server to find more context. I was not present through any of the actual conflicts but I’ve seen the conversations.

So why am I commenting on this?

Well mainly I want to make a point about para social relationships as well as moderation of servers and fandoms as a creator.

I just want to preface this by saying that after reading through all possible context, perspectives, takes and evidence I could find or come across, I genuinely don’t think red is necessarily a bad/morally wrong person. I DO however think she is in the wrong in this situation especially due to how she handled everything. As for how a lot of people are reacting to everything, there’s a couple of things I’d like to note:

From what I’ve seen, all of this is just one big thing of “he said/she said” and pointing fingers as well as just picking sides. If your absolutely distraught because red didn’t turn out to be the person you thought they were simply because she said things you didn’t like, I understand the disappointment and frustration but please remember that content creators in general aren’t your friends. You don’t know these people, they just do things you happen to like. Now I’m not saying you SHOULDN’T feel upset about it, it’s ok to and you even should if it’s an issue to you feel strongly about but please keep in mind that this isn’t a “sign of their true colors” or anything because you don’t know what they were actually like to begin with. Ofc I don’t mean that to say “expect the worst from people” but more as a reminder that can hopefully help you to look at the situation more critically and logically before jumping in guns blazing. It’s understandable if it affects you emotionally, you were emotionally invested in their work; but please realize this before you let it get to that point. Now on the other side of the coin, there’s the people who I feel as though will just pick the creators side simply because they’re fanboys and will stand by them no matter what. I’m DEFINITELY NOT saying that’s what everyone who’s on red side is, but naturally there’s bound to be a few that are going to dickride for the sake of dickriding. Regardless, there’s a lack of willingness to listen and understand from both sides (at least from what I’ve noticed) and that’s a problem because when no one wants to listen then what’s supposed to be a community coming together to resolve an issue just turns into a giant flame war. Also this should go without saying, but at least give the mods a chance. They obviously handled the whole situation horrendously but they aren’t going to do their jobs any better when they’ve got people coming at them with pitchforks.

Speaking of the moderators. I genuinely can’t wrap my head around how red and the other mods have managed to fumble this badly…….like it’s almost funny. All said and done they all had ONE very simple job and they blew it. Although I very much disagree with it, I do understand red’s decision to unban crimson. They wanted to give them a second chance, sure whatever. What I DONT GET is why would they not at the very least check to see if anyone else would be comfortable with a decision that would possibly affect them or even impact their safety. At the very least a warning to or a discussion with the victims would have been something. Not only that but even after they unban them, once red saw the NUMEROUS amount of people that were upset about it they, they should have immediately banned them again and then apologize after instead of some rushed explanation. But I get it stress gets the better of you. I understand their desire to keep things as transparent as possible (which i appreciate and I’m sure so do many others) but from that first apology/explanation it felt more like red trying to shake responsibility off themselves and pointing fingers in the guise of being transparent. I did see where red was trying to get at in her first statement, but there was also things that she honestly should have just had the foresight to realize wouldn’t put her in a better light, and this is aside from the victim blaming-esque wording. red basically says that she felt like a group of people (including Laci the one who reported crimson) were just out to get crimson, which is absolutely insane but then again it’s the internet so who knows. However it’s super clear that Laci obviously wasn’t lying bc the things she accused crimson of did in fact happen. So even bringing that up was enough for me to raise my eyebrow at but I digress. Then red practically says it was hard to handle the situation bc the evidence provided was censored, but Laci literally offered to give the uncensored versions so that was completely disingenuous on red’s part at best. To me it just seemed like the mods were looking for excuses for what could be there own laziness at best and negligence at worst. Their biggest fault so far is not being very good at actually listening to their audience and taking them into consideration. She also brought up that fact that Laci was apparently the only person to report crimson which I did not like to say the least. One of the victims confided in Laci and Laci brought it forward. I understand reds suspicions about Laci not being in the actual server where it happened but how are you going to immediately jump to “well why did no one else bring it up” instead of stopping for a sec and thinking “ hm clearly these victims feel uncomfortable stepping forward”. Which they had to do now anyway because of how bad the issue became. They should not have had to do that. Better it be just one person reporting, even if it’s someone you don’t like, than no one reporting and the issue persists under the radar.

And then there’s red’s formal apology…

First off, girl why are you dropping names??? A bunch of who are supposedly minors? Like let’s be so fucking for real right now😭

And then the audacity to be like “please don’t go after or dm these people” like babes if you were genuinely worried about them you wouldn’t have used their names at all. ESPECIALLY when in the end it was completely irrelevant and borderline inappropriate since it really had nothing to do with crimson, their actions or how you handled them. Not to mention the act of calling them “cliques” when literally all they were was side servers. Like if they’re cliques then what does that make red and everyone who’s on her side? It was very clearly just a biased reaction to people saying things she doesn’t like about her, which by all means she has the right to respond to but not in a way that is clearly trying to sway how everyone else sees them. The way red describes everything is as if it’s middle school drama and then proceeds to play directly into it. Don’t get me wrong her apology was fine, when she was ACTUALLY apologizing. Everything else felt like a last ditch effort to drag others under the bus with her. It was lowkey embarrassing to say the least.

Again, it’s important that I make it clear that I don’t believe red is a bad person. I just think she’s an immature person, or at least she is in how she handled everything and continues to handle it bc like I said I don’t know her, and don’t care to frankly. I didn’t start reading nevermore to be buddy buddy with her. Like if we look at the grand scope of things, this is a grown woman beefing with kids. Obviously they aren’t all kids, most of them aren’t I believe but she’s practically stooping down to school yard conflict in how she’s responded so far. Especially at one point in the server when she was being called out and jumped to “yeah I guess I’m the bad guy and totally evil. You all should hate me”. Like actually cut that shit out, what are you doing. I mean honestly.

And my final point because I’ve ranted long enough. I mentioned before that in this instance I am willing to separate the art from the artist, I stand by that because I genuinely do think this is a situation where red could hopefully grow from this and rectify things. The actual unbanning was a stupid and inconsiderate move on her part, but I don’t think she meant any ill-will or had any malicious intent. I disagree with the people calling her a r@pe apologist because that’s honestly just a huge reach. I’ve also seen some accusations of red and/or Flynn being racist, promoting inappropriate art knowing there’s minors around and from what I’ve seen it’s pretty iffy. Regarding the racism, I don’t believe that they are. Their characterizations of the characters regarding their ethnicities IS stereotypical and was obviously just very surface level research into those respective cultures but I chopped that up to ignorance rather than racism. As a woc I was frankly just relived they didn’t make the poc characters centered on some kind of discrimination or tragedy from their era, which yes is something that shouldn’t be ignored but also I don’t know if rednflynn could accurately and more importantly, respectfully portray those types of issues. Nor is it even their place tbh. With that being said however I don’t belong to most of the cultures the characters belong to. To me it never seemed like they were making a caricature out of these cultures, especially since their ethnicities are barely relevant to their stories anyway but I acknowledge that it’s not my place to deem what’s offensive or not.

As for the promoting inappropriate art of the characters and creating some themselves. Yeah they do. I’ve never been shocked about that nor did I think it was something that they are wrong for doing, I mean it’s their own work. Granted I didn’t realize how many minors were in the fandom but that’s literally every fandom, there’s only so much you could do about it. I don’t know if nevermore has a rating but it’s not like it was something ever promoted to be kid friendly, it’s obvious that some scenes are just straight up fan service. While I personally don’t like fan service it never was enough to impact the story so I personally never saw an issue. But point is I don’t think they should have to monitor what is and isn’t appropriate for minors but things get tricky when they have a server where they are clearly aware of minors.

And then there’s other things like people accusing them of promoting SA or some shit like that bc of a lot of stuff involving Montessor which frankly, that’s just a media literacy issue on the readers part. So yeah with that being said I don’t think red is a bad person, although I understand why a lot of people are done with them which is completely fair. I’m pretty much in a grey area about it, who knows if they end up getting in an even bigger scandal, hopefully they come out better from this but only time will tell. The best/smartest thing red has said throughout this entire debacle was that they’re taking a step back from the fandom. I think it’ll be good for everyone, especially them. It seems like it’ll take stress off them anyway. Plus the hole they’ve dug for themselves is already halfway to china by now so there’s that

[winniethewife]

But I'm gonna love you anyhow

(Nathan Bateman x F!reader)

A/N: Inspired by a Prompt by @gingersforeverbox

Words:679

“So that's the new girl that he’s dating?��

“They’ve apparently been going out in secret for months”

“She looks…” Like what a whore? A Bitch? A floozy? A Gold digger? She almost dares them to finish the sentence as they talk behind her back. “Nice.” Ugh that was worse than an insult. She could do without all these fake niceties that this kind of crowd always seems to rely on. She took the champagne flute from one of the servers with a polite smile. She sips at it and looks around for a moment, trying to spot Nathan in the crowded room. She understood the importance of going to these charity galas occasionally to keep him in good graces with the public eye, but after several months of spending all their time together out in his home in Alaska, all these people was almost overwhelming. She didn’t belong here, among the upper crust, with the press outside hoping for a glimpse, she felt out of place, even if she was perfectly dressed and styled like every other person in the room.

She finally spotted Nathan across the room, he looked nice in a suit, he was so often dressed in casual lounge wear that she had honestly been shocked that he even owned one. She watches as Nathan laughs at something the guy he was talking to said, she knew him well enough to know that was a fake laugh, the way the smile didn’t reach his eyes, it was obvious to her, but to no one else. She smiled slightly at the thought, the idea that of all the people in the room, she was the only one who truly knew him. As she watched him he eventually looked over at her, a genuine smile crosses his face. He turns to the people he was talking to and appears to dismiss himself before walking over to her.

“You look amazing Honey. How am I so lucky to have you?” He asks cheekily while wrapping an arm around her waist, she feels the nerves and irritation from the evening wash away as she feels his hand gripping her side firmly, with a gentle possession.

“I don’t know, you’re kind of an asshole, I’m not sure why I stick around.” She teases as she leans into him. He looks down at her resting her head in the crook of his arm with mock offence.

“Oh my darling why- Why would you say such a thing?” He couldn’t keep up the fake hurt tone bursting in to laughter midsentence. “No, no you’re right. I deserve that no doubt. But I will say, you make me want to be better, but only for you. Fuck the others.” He kisses the top of her head before looking out on the party. As He scans the room he holds her close, and as he holds her she can’t help but feel emotions surging in her chest, to hear something so sentimental from Nathan was unusual, but she liked it. The Judgement of the others in the room was far from her mind now, the feeling of outsiderhood vanished. She could belong anywhere as long as he was with her. She looked up into his dark brown eyes. As long as he was with her, she could be anywhere, do anything, and be anyone. The options were unlimited.

"I don’t think I want you to change. I think that's what I love about you...you're just...you." She says with a smile and a turn, her back against his chest now, his arms still around her. Nathan chuckled. He was really the luckiest guy in the room. There was so much she didn’t know about him, but she was going to love him anyhow. And that was more than he could ever hope for. He leans down to whisper in her ear.

“I’ve heard there's some oddly phallic ice sculptures in the other room…wanna check them out?” He mutters. She laughs. There’s not a thing about him that she would change.

“I would love to see that.”

~

Masterlist

Tags: @burymesanti @silvernight-m @faretheeoscar @queerponcho

[thecorvidforest]

I have had a situation recently, and I would like your advice on it. I run a gaming discord server, with private servers for a few games. A streamer joined who claimed to have DID. They seemed to flaunt it all over their streams, seemingly very attention seeking. This, to me, seems likely to be fake, but I am unsure. Can you give any input? I don't want to have someone who makes up mental illnesses, discrediting those who actually have them, around, but I also don't want to falsely accuse someone.

sure, i’m happy to give my input, but it might not be what you’re looking for. you seem to have good intentions and this isn’t meant to bully or shame you at all, i just want to gently push back on this a little bit.

i personally believe there is never a good enough reason to accuse someone of faking a mental illness, especially something like DID/OSDD. there is no reliable way to spot a faker, and accusing people of lying does far more to hurt the community than faking does. let me explain.

some systems like to talk about their experiences, some don’t. same goes for anyone with any condition. talking about one’s plurality frequently is not automatically them flaunting it, and it’s certainly not grounds to assume they’re faking. plurality informs one’s entire life, we should be allowed to talk about it without having to worry if we’re being perceived as attention seeking.

here’s the thing. it’s wonderful that you want to help protect people who have DID/OSDD from people who might be faking it and i don’t doubt for a second that your intentions are genuine, but accusing someone of faking based on how you perceive them will do far more to discredit them than someone who’s actually faking it.

because here’s what’s going to happen if you remove them from your space because you think they’re faking: everyone around you who may be a closeted system - or even just anyone with a highly stigmatized disorder - is going to know that your acceptance of them isn’t based on their self-report, it’s based on your own perception of their symptoms. they will no longer feel free to be themselves, because showing their symptoms comes with the risk of being kicked out. you’ll have effectively made your space less safe for people with stigmatized conditions. and for the accused person, you’ll have removed them from a space that’s meant to be safe and completely invalidated their lived experience based on them choosing to speak about said experience.

on the flipside, let’s say they are faking and you do nothing. most likely scenario, they’re attention seeking and using DID to get the attention they want. what ends up happening most of the time is the person faking it eventually gets tired of the harassment and of having to keep all their lies straight and they stop.

of course lying about an already stigmatized condition for attention is an awful thing to do, and i’m not defending people who do it. what i am saying is that it is far less harmful to accidentally include a liar than it is to exclude someone who may or may not be lying with no way to know for sure if they are.

TLDR: whether they’re faking or not, them talking about it isn’t a reason to assume they are. and regardless, it’s always better to assume they’re telling the truth.

i hope this helps! we had a few switches in the middle of writing this so i’m sorry if the phrasing doesn’t flow well lmao

[lusi-raul]

I watched Forever’s pov from Jaiden’s dungeon quest since I’ve been seeing a lot of people upset about his suspicions on Jaiden and I can see why but it all stems down to the meta gaming knowledge we have as viewers and not being allowed to give it to him so that he won’t misunderstand Jaiden.

If you solely watch Forever, his and Maximus’ suspicions are valid. Guys you have to realize it doesn’t matter how sweet and nice she appears to other people in the server, no one knows her as much we do and as much as the few she interacts with the most in the island. If it was Roier of course he is never going to suspect her. Even if he was spying on her and Cucurucho that boat race day, it was out of concern and worry for her. But for Forever, unfortunately theres just too much coincidences going on that just makes his suspicions for her grow worse and worse. She just lost her son and is in a mental state where she can be easily manipulated. She distracted Baghera when Pomme died. She is working for Cucurucho who works for the feds. He sees that she has a good relationship with Cucurucho (headpats). She was seen talking alone with Quackity and a Worker for the federation. She built her house which Forever thinks is a shrine, in the middle of nowhere instead of near spawn but he doesn’t understand the significance of the Bobby fields to both her, Bobby and Roier. The truth of the situation is, he doesn’t know her as much as Roier or Bad or even Philza does that’s why he can’t fully dismiss these coincidences even after Jaiden explained it to him. You guys can’t just expect him to blindly trust someone he barely knows nor is it smart for him to do so. Remember how he still trusts Cellbit when he was in the same position? And the trust never left him until Cellbit broke his xp farm. Why trust Cellbit and not Jaiden when both of them are doing practically the same thing in his perspective? First of all, he knows how Cellbit ended up and it’s reasonable to believe Jaiden will end up in the same ditch. Second, He knows Cellbit on a deeper level than he knows Jaiden.

He thinks Jaiden is obsessed with Bobby and is willing to do dirty deeds for the federation in exchange for her son but the sad thing about that mentality is it implies that he will do the same for Richas. He can’t see Jaiden who is this attached to her dead son as sound minded because he sees himself in her, absolutely losing her mind to the point of taking the opportunity to have her son back at the expense of the life of others because deep inside he knows when Richas dies, he will do everything he can to bring him back just like her. We know Jaiden genuinely did what she did with good intentions because we saw her cope with grief but Forever didn’t and just sees her as a broken mother.

He spied on her and broke into her home with Maximus. Some people were upset that they did that. They are investigating on something they are suspicious about. Is it wrong? Maybe but is it reasonable? Yes. They don’t trust her, they have to find out more information so that their suspicions can either be confirmed or discredited. It’s unfortunate that he was too late both times and was caught by Cucurucho the last time. If he overheard their conversation, some of his suspicions may have been dismissed. If in the end Forever realizes on his own that Jaiden really is trustworthy and their relationship improves, imagine how much deeper his friendship with Jaiden will be after all they’ve been through. He is willing to protect and support Jaiden despite the suspicions, imagine if the suspicions were dismissed for him.

Ultimately a story without conflict is like a rollercoaster on a straight track. In order for the rider to feel thrill and excitement, there has to be ups and downs, fast and slow moments and loops. This type of misunderstanding causes conflict within the lore of the island. It keeps the story interesting and ultimately will make the resolution that much more satisfying.

[blayresmuses]

Please please please, I am begging you. I now have an addiction to daemon and all I crave is fluff. I don't particularly care what it is but omg soft daemon with his wife love ... My heart

fluffy daemon headcanons

authors note: i hope these help your cravings and you like them!! soft!daemon has my heart <3

warnings: mentions of sex

• you honestly didn’t think that a man like daemon would know the meaning of the word affection when you were first married.

• you thought deep down it was a marriage of convenience and you were scared of him more than anything but on your wedding night he was so gentle with you, murmuring praises in your ear about how long he has waited for you.

• and you do find out down the line that he really had to wear your father down to get him to accept the betrothal - we’re talking months and months of pestering him, threatening him, bribing him - just anything to try and get him to agree.

• that dedication becomes a running theme through your marriage. he genuinely does adore you and dote on you, much to everyone else’s surprise.

• he’s always there for you when you’re down or anxious - even if the reassurance is blunt and harsh - he’s your shoulder to cry on and he’s very intuitive to your emotions, often keeping a watchful eye on you when you’re out together.

• he’s protective of you to a fault - you’re his precious, darling wife - and he won’t tolerate you being disrespected or intimidated by anyone, even his own family.

• he’s very touchy at night and i have said this before he cannot sleep without touching you!!! daemon needs to have some sort of physical contact with you at night, even if it’s just your hand or your back.

• when you have trouble sleeping he tries to coax you into it by telling you stories of his times at war and battle or even the backstory of caraxes. he expects this to bore you, especially when he’s murmuring it to you in softer tones, but you usually end up staying up all night listening to his stories.

• when you start to get comfortable you like to play around with his hair. daemon often sits between your legs and lets you do your thing with it whilst he vents and de-stresses.

• imagine you’re the one who cuts his hair shorter!! you take it very seriously like your his own personal barber, sitting on his lap and trying to distract him from how tense he is at the fact you have the control over his precious locks.

• he’s pleasantly surprised at the good job you do and he likes the spike in your attraction to him - you can barely keep your hands off of him.

• one thing that really shows his love to you - and it’s small but it means the world to you - is just how much he listens to what you have to say. everyone knows he’s quick to boredom and doesn’t take the time to enjoy the quiet moments but with you he does and that makes it all the more special.

• you could be talking about something silly like dresses or flowers and he’ll sit and listen intently, asking you questions and inquiring about your knowledge on subjects.

• anything you say you like or you want he gets you - if you say you like a specific colour he’ll go and buy you everything in that colour. dresses, flowers, jewels, new rugs and chairs for your chambers - he’s so over the top.

• even with food as well, before you’re married he finds out through handmaidens and servers what you like and what you don’t so when you’re dining together you have a whole selection of things to your taste.

• the whole court is very surprised at how taken he is with you. especially at balls and tourneys he does things that are very uncharacteristic for him like dancing with you in front of everyone and little gestures like pulling your chair out and refilling your goblets.

• daemon is very affectionate with you, even in public he doesn’t take his hands off of you no matter who’s around or who’s uncomfortable with it - unless you are - the two of you often go into your own world, flirting and winking at each other.

• he’s surprisingly intimate with you as well which you never expected. holding you after sex and even taking baths with you, cradling you to him in the water where there’s not one part of your bodies that aren’t touching.

• he’s definitely one of those husbands that want you to sleep naked and if you come to bed in a nightgown he’ll do his best to get you out of it!!

• he hates it when you’re hurt and really refuses to leave your bedside when you’re sick unless you really insist on space. the poor maesters often leave the room shaken and scared after speaking with him because he’s so bossy and intimidating.

• i believe he’d take you everywhere with him, believing that the best place for you is by his side because no one can protect you and look after you like he can.

• he can just be overall an amazing husband <3

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

like i will never forget that dream made a joke about vikkstar raping tubbos sister and then had the gall to deny it bc like. i have seen that vod! he's fucking lying about it being out of context- the whole context is that lani mentioned she was in vikkstars bed. there’s no reason to question that in gameplay and vikkstar wasn’t even on the server when she played so it’d make no sense to ask about something gameplay related, and outside of gameplay… what else could you be implying? a thirteen year old says they’re sleeping in someone’s bed and you joke about having to talk to them. it’s a paedophilic rape joke he's too cowardly to admit to but he made the SAME EXACT JOKE a few years later except he was joking about raping kids and I don’t believe his shallow apology for five fucking seconds because he has a PATTERN of sexual jokes towards minors. HE GOT A MINOR TO TELL HIM HE LOVED HIM IN PRIVATE DMS. no amount of arguing it’s platonic makes it okay if your sixteen year old told you a grown ass man said that they had to say they loved him in DMs to keep their friend's minecraft farms YOU WOULD CALL THE FUCKING COPS BECAUSE THAT IS LITERALLY COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE FOR AN ADULT TO DO IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WITH A MINOR. plus his “i can totally know what a complete stranger wants without asking her (and I’m definitely not going to always assume she wants it bc i feel entitled to her body)” and his fucking hasty backtracking about it being with an ex like bro you were talking about hookups it’s such a pathetic save. every time i think about how much of a pathetic misogynist he is and how much he thinks children being raped is prime comedy I get so mad like legit i always try to take things in good faith and the best I can come up with is that he's a misogynistic creep bc THAT IS THE BEST FAITH INTERPRETATION OF MULTIPLE TIMES MAKING JOKES OUT OF CHILD RAPE INCLUDING HIMSELF BEING A PAEDOPHILIC GROOMER. he's at best a piece of shit and at worst a fucking paedophile and like don’t come at me with the allegations bro if you think raping kids is funny and edgy youre at best a creep and at worst a nonce. he's genuinely such a piece of shit. and this isn’t even getting into the constant racism, ableism, scamming, throwing random people under the bus for kicks, bullying, ect. he's an utterly awful person but he’s decent enough at hiding it that it’s not obvious until you have a full timeline of events. bc it makes it clear he NEVER stopped thinking rape was funny and that women are inherently lesser than him and that he can do whatever he wants to people as long as he adds a just kidding disclaimer and pretends to be a feminist when he obviously despises women. he’s a sick man and a manipulative scumbag and this is the BEST reading of him possible if you actually know what he’s fucking done and dig through the burying of it and outright lies he’s told.

[oxygenpdf]

It was funny at the start, but now @flyingcakeee and I had a serious discussion about this. And decided to announce a genuine PSA. Listen, as much love as it is to see you guys enjoy our posts, or our reactions. It’s harmful and quite annoying, when you screenshot the posts then go and upload them to other sites for others to see.

Myself and highly likely her as well, came to this site to have fun and post. We did not come here to see our posts taken out of context, placed on TikTok, then bombarded with hatred or stuff that makes us uncomfortable. I personally have seen my own posts land on my own fyp, and refused to go to the comments knowing the taken out of context post will spark controversy.

It’s annoying when us tumblr users post here just for another user or advent followers take the post and just upload them. Please, all we ask is that you ask to upload our posts, or if you don’t, then black out our names. Asking goes a long way. And if you’re unsure, then don’t post them.

Same goes for discord. Can’t express how many times my posts or my friends’ posts were scattered onto a discord server. We get it, you like what we said or you hated our take on something. But do not, and we mean, DO NOT, go around showing the posts off without permission.

Like I said. Ask us, and it’s likely we’ll say yes as long as it’s for a good purpose. This is more so for people who steal art on this site as well, or steal peoples stories.

Tumblr is meant to be sort of a secret for many accounts. Keep it that way. Unless you have permission to do otherwise.

[pommunist]

i hope i dont sound like i am immediately picking apart what you said because i basically agree with 99% of it i just wanted to add a couple of thoughts i had (this got so much longer than i intended i am so sorry)

I don’t like how he said to be mindful about the intentions of people who raised the question, because a lot of them had genuine concern about it being a possibility and this could have been a very serious and dangerous thing if it had been true.

i fully agree with what you said here - however i feel like the death threats/harassment he was getting kinda justifies what he was saying to an extent. in his position, i doubt he is looking at each and every account to figure out whether the individual was coming from a place of concern or was adding onto the harassment. i don't think outright dismissing things like this is a good idea so to speak, but to me it does make sense, from his pov, to tell people to be mindful. many of those people were coming from a place of concern, but i can see how some of it could have came off as less than such in addition to the threats he was getting even though they were mostly separate situations. if this hadn't been the case it would have rubbed me more in the wrong way, but i can understand why he would say it in this scenario even if its like :/.

however this is something i would encourage of everyone - he is not wrong to basically be saying check the source of where you are getting your information from. i would say 90% of the people talking about it were acting in good faith, but that is not always the case, and people acting in bad faith can still have good points that should be taken seriously. it is just something that i think everyone should take note of - in any situation everyone is going to have bias and if you're going to take someones words as fact you should recognize that. that goes for quackity's words too. he is obviously biased in one way in this situation which doesnt mean he is lying in every word he says, but take that into account when looking at what he says. same goes for the admins who speak out you know?

And great that he’s saying that there has been some restructuring made within the team, and hopefully these changes will only leave the studios with competent people who are good intentioned towards everyone involved. I won’t like though, I fail to see how asking for everyone’s feedback and taking it into account to make these changes wasn’t an option. Also the fact that this restructuring ended up causing them to massively letting go of all the twitter teams as well as some other admins is still an issue.

this is a double edged sword imo - im gonna take it in two parts. he says that the restructuring is good and full of people who are good intentioned, but there really is no way to know that? i am under the assumption that he thought the first set of people were good and they weren't, and im not saying we can't trust these people/his judgement, but there truly is no way to know until things progress. id like to trust that the new management is good, but im wary just because of everything and it is hard to put trust into the new managment without seeing anything come out of it. i know these things take time, but its hard to blindly trust that these guys are good when there is nothing to prove it.

on the twitter admins/other admins, as much as i do not agree with it, it does make sense. it sucks and i hate that it happened, but it was pretty clear that financially keeping the same amount of admins on the team wasn't going to work. removing the twitter admins seems like a logical choice (i loved what they did. i wish they weren't removed. but in the grand scheme of things it does make sense to let them go first because even if it sucks the life and some of the fun out of it, their jobs were not essential to keeping the server running) but the way it was gone about was so... not it. the way they were all informed of how they were fired was just not good. point blank not good. i dont know if there was a way to keep them on while being able to pay them, im inclined to believe at the moment he probably wasn't lying and there wasn't, but it doesnt change the fact that that situation was not handled well. they could have let them go with more communication to the situation. thats what bothers me the most.

Meanwhile people will discuss these topics that are so far removed from the main issue and focus less on what the admins went through.

THIS!!! i do understand why people have brought talks about lore and stuff into this conversation - it highlights what the admins went through using tangible examples lol, but part of me wishes they hadn't because exactly as you said. people focus on these issues and not the other ones! it happened at the start of this too, where people focus on the lore/story related problems (which isn't a wrong thing to point out) but in doing so kinda push away the other issues even if that isnt the intent. sharing these stories was not to complain about pushing x creators lore to the front and holding y creator's back but to highlight some of the conditions and i wish that didn't get misconstrued as much as i feel like it has.

Hey anon ! sorry if i took so long to answer but I’ve wanted to take the time to answer everyone of your point !

-I can also see where he was coming from, and I also don’t doubt that there were bad intentioned people in the lot (thinking of a particular group of people, i think you can guess who 🟩). It’s just that it paints people who have genuine criticism/concern as just being haters, and it’s not the first time he used the "things said by people with bad intentions" point so I’m kinda over it

-YES to everything you said about researching information !!!! Jumping to conclusions or blindly believing any piece of info you see is literally doing for harm than good for anyone involved, always always try to find sources source, fact check and look from an unbiased POV the things you see. Will never forget when the union released their first statement and I saw people either saying that they were a fake account trying to smear the reputation project or that quackity was going to jail, I was like « oh my, we are cooked » 😭

-Also agree with your next point, but as you said we don’t know who these people are (and I don’t necessarily think we should know btw), so we can only hope that they will be competent and caring people who will run the studio in accordance with the law and with better work ethics.

-On the twitter admins getting fired well first we can agree that the way it was done is fucked up. And I understand the difficulty of the financial aspect (to an extent, don’t ask me details about finance, idk shit about money numbers lmao), but it’s giving « Your work was very needed and appreciated while it was free, but now that we may have to pay you we can actually do without it, bye guys ». Especially ehhhh about it since multiple Twitter admins have expressed that getting paid wasn’t an issue, the working conditions were. Though to be fair idk exactly how volunteer work is regulated in every country the admins were from so this may have played a part in their firing.

-And finally yes, the distracting from what matters. Like fans can discuss whatever they want obviously, my argument is more about Q here, like dude are you really sure the main point of contention here is to debate whether or not you were overly interfering in other ccs lore ??? Don’t get me wrong, great that you’re saying it wasn’t the case but the main point of everything was missed by a mile.

Also don’t worry your ask didnt came across as you picking apart what I had said but even if it was, as long as you’re not rude i dont mind people coming to my askbox like « tumblr user pommunist you are wrong about everything and let me tell you why »

[shrikebrother]

I know u are 17 and so things are just gonna be hard to navigate for a while. but I think a lot of ppls issues is that incest is extremely prevalent, and more ppl are victims of incest than u might think. and u seem to have a very cavalier attitude towards it and that the idea that anyone could be upset or put off or frustrated about ur attitude towards it makes them the one in the wrong. just food 4 thought. I think ppl r going to have a very adverse reaction 2 seeing some1 sexualize and romanticize one of the most heinous forms of abuse.

there’s no issue w ppl being upset by it, which is exactly why i’ve make it clear in my info that i post about it quite often & why i don’t bring it up anywhere outside of tumblr or in places where it’s expected. anyone has a right to softblock or unfollow or anything like that, i have nothing against them & id completely understand . if this is referring to like, the server stuff, i’ve never spoken abt incest on there & ppl saying that i have have either misinterpreted my words or are intentionally making them seem like i’ve said something i haven’t

that being said, i agree i’ve been careless about how i’ve spoken about it on this blog before & i genuinely apologize. if i have ever come across like i think the ppl who are uncomfortable with what i talk abt or the way i talk abt it are stupid, i promise it wasn’t intentional and i have never felt that way abt anybody

the only time i can remember speaking that way is during the server incident, but like i said , incest was never mentioned there & if they had actually tried to talk to me abt something i had done wrong i would have no problem w that & i would listen. but that just isnt what happened . they immediately accused me of several things without letting me explain or defend myself & were actively trying to make me seem like a child predator. they had only started wanting to be civil after i had left the server & made it seem like i was the one antagonizing them first when that absolutely isnt the case at all . i got panicked & overwhelmed by all of this so i lashed out in my posts abt them, but in no way did i mean to make it seem like anyone who is frustrated or made uncomfortable by my attitude on this blog is in the wrong. i’ve been in private conversation w one of the main ppl involved & they agreed that the way they handled the situation was horrible & apologized for it

i hope none of this response seems angry bc i get where ur coming from , i just felt maybe i should clear some stuff up . i really am sorry to anyone who i might have hurt by talking insensitively abt those topics. that’s something i should fix & i’m going to try my best to keep myself better in check in the future

[another-dra-anew]

Higa (- definitely someone you don't know yes yes)

I GENUINELY HOPE CANON HIGA EXPLODES I NEED TO PUT THIS DISCLAIMER UP. AAAA

anyways. nothing i can think to cw for/have been asked to cw for iirc? mentions of higas favorite hobby (committing hate crimes) but that’s abt all.

- My identity hc for them

homophobic homosexual. there’s nothing more to say- wait. sorry. he took the wrong red pill noooo higa no!!! okay now there’s nothing else to say

- Thoughts on their home life/family

now we start the fun game of how do i chat about my kids without spoiling things… ya know. okay. i think his paternal grandparents are actually p chill they’re just not even remotely involved bc they live vv far away. they’re a bit upset with tatsunori for never updating them. higa used to send them tickets to all his Big games but then he overheard them joking with tatsunori about how they were always traveling home just to travel back out again. so. he doesn’t send them tickets as often now

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

i think in a lot of early posts i wasn’t confident enough in my writing to make higa more of… a actual Issue? he was kinda just a dick who got shut down quick by everyone. so i need to go back and fix that. need to show his actions are like. Very Bad, and he def faces consequences.

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

uhh. well. u see. im kinda writing beta so. the only thing i can really think of is like… making canon “if (x) had happened to higa instead of (y), then he would’ve turned out like (z)”, since i can’t reallyyy… get into backstory changes like that? 

- My number one favorite ship for them

i think non despair red pill is fun!! (specify non despair because the kg isn’t really the best time for higas personal growth, which is smthn red pill kinda hinges on)- SORRY PEOPLE WHO ARENT IN THE SERVER? i don’t remember if this joke has breached contamination or not. red pill is yamaguchi/higa. 

especially in non despair (since side stepping away from others isn’t really a option in the game + kinda makes people feel homicidal), they both wind up kinda isolated/on the fringes of group interactions because they’re not just. abrasive but they say shit that actually feeds into negative stereotypes. so people r a bit. steps away from them. so should they both get the chance to grow and change they can bond over how hard it is to try and integrate into a group u were excluded from because of like. ur own decisions hurting people in the group. 

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

higa keeps hate criming people it’s kinda. hard to ship him with people. that being said i think it’s silly to say he has a bit of a crush on maeda. cuz i promise u all maeda, at best, is 😐 at higa. i don’t ship them together but i think the idea of higa having a crush on maeda is funny. it’s definitely not canon tho i don’t write beta with that in mind

- The thing i will NEVER ship

see above. god damn it higa. (not that u can’t hurt people and genuinely change and grow. but like. yeah i think a lot of those ships have kinda sunk). 

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

hmmmmm…. i’d honestly like to talk more about kobas feelings on higa? specifically within the context of the game where it’s like. obviously koba doesn’t want higa to FUCKING DIE but while he understands the situation and knows if he felt uncomfortable or unsafe, he could say so and higa would get booted out. i think he’s just not very happy with the fact that they have to tip toe around higas general evil-ness so that he doesnt go off the rails and like. try to work with monokuma. he’s choosing so much mercy and so much emotional maturity. and that’s what sucks about being confined to one pov character!!!

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

maybe if i stopped giving higa fits that are so easy to clown on, he’d leave his villain era. hm. anyways!! lol sweater vest lol. i do genuinely like his design (been gently working on kobas fit recently and giving them more distinctive color palettes, so that’s fun), buuut yeah! tbh i don’t see it changing i don’t know where i’d go from here. i think it works v well ! :D

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

had to Hunt to find one. but animal - sir chloe makes me think like. a song higa would listen to, then close out of halfway through and never listen to it again but be haunted by the Thoughts it made him Think. im not good at interpreting songs the way they’re meant to be interpreted. :(. sorry to everyone behind sir chloe. 

[fluffallamaful]

I see what you’re saying about his canon life, but remember how Dream and Punz said that they killed each other and revived each other over and over again? He already lost his canon life god-knows-how-many-times — WILLINGLY, too, my fucked up little meow meow — so I don’t think it actually scares him much anymore. Also, the fact that he is SO RUTHLESS to everyone kind of makes me think that there’s basically nothing that he would consider “too far” when it comes to what he would do to people: there’s just the question of whether or not it will further his goals. Plus he has taken people’s final canon lives before — see Tommy in prison, and he waited a full day before reviving him — so clearly it’s not a line that he’s completely unwilling to cross. Furthermore, there’s been a theory going around on Dreblr that he avoids using the Revival Book because the toll is something really bad: Sapnap’s Death Book strips canon lives from its user without the possibility of coming back as a ghost, so it would make sense that the Revival Book has a similar cost. Not to mention that 1) Dream and Punz mention that they messed up and now the server is out of balance (which I actually do believe thanks to XD’s complaints) and 2) my theory that Dream’s revival triggered something that threw everything out of balance (see previous ask).

Also, I disagree that Wilbur sees through Dream easily because he’s the one who marked Dream AS the villain at the very beginning: it’s effectively what Dream based his whole persona around in the first place. He unknowingly constructed Dream’s entire persona. Hell, he thought Dream actually gave a shit about the discs when the goal behind his whole reason for chasing after them had been completed for over a year.

(Genuinely not trying to start an argument! Just discussing my favorite character, that’s all!)

dw i love hearing your thoughts!!!

and yes he took canon lives after he had the revive book but did he take them before ?

and the discs are interesting. i think that dream always felt a need to keep tommy at an arms distance away, coz he wasn’t entirely sure what he was planning. i think he found that the easiest way to ensure that tommy didn’t do anything drastic (such as, idk,,, drop a nuke on his head), was to control him through fear. the discs played a role in that. by burning the discs wilbur knew that he was releasing tommy from some of the fear he held for dream. and dream knew the same.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

A Guide on How to Locate Old VODs!

Hello, everyone! 

As you all know, Twitch has a cap on VOD availability where, after two months, a VOD on a channel will be deleted. 

Given that Dream SMP has lasted for longer than two months, with the bulk of the plot now missing, this means that finding old footage can be somewhat of a challenge if you aren’t yet familiar with how to do so!

I get a lot of asks asking me where certain old VODs are, and while I don’t mind these asks at all, I also figured it would be helpful to make a guide post on my methods for locating them so that people can attempt to locate things for themselves too!

There are plenty of ways to go about it, but this is just what I do.

Without further ado, here’s a step-by-step process. 

---

Before you go searching for anything, there’s some information that you’ll need to decide on.

What are you looking for?

This one’s a bit obvious, but you need to figure out what exactly you’ll be seeking out. For this guide, I’ll be using the first Dreamon Hunters VOD as an example, as that’s one that people have asked for a lot in the past.

When did it happen?

As a general question, you’ll want to know the basic context of around what time this event took place. We’ll get into specifics later, but it helps to have context. Think: what else was happening at the time?

Well, for Dreamon Hunters, we know that Fundy was wearing his Dreamon Hunters outfit at the Manberg Festival, October 16. Therefore, that event took place not too long before then.

From whose POV?

You’ll need to know which streamers to search under. The first Dreamon Hunters stream was streamed by Fundy and Tubbo. 

Tubbo’s official VODs channel does not include the first Dreamon Hunters VOD, and the oldest VOD on Archive is Festival preparation on October 13. Unfortunately, this means that Tubbo’s POV is lost, so we will be seeking out Fundy’s.

---

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, onto the next steps.

STEP ONE: Figure out the exact date.

There are a few ways to achieve this. If you’re lucky, you’ll know the date already -- November 16th, January 6th, other big ones like that. Sometimes you can look at recap posts if they exist for that day. 

But the most reliable one I’ve found, especially for Season One, is actually to use Twitter’s advanced search.

(Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But it genuinely works pretty well)

Type in keywords that you think would end up in livetweets of the stream. If something specific was trending that day because of the event, that helps as well. For this example, we’ll use “DreamXD,” as that was trending.

Scroll down to the bottom and select a date range. This is where knowing the general time that the event happened helps. We’ll do October 1 - October 16.

There! We’ve found the livetweets! How nostalgic. 

Figure out the earliest date. 

For our example, it appears to be October 7. Note that VOD dates might be a day later due to different timezones.

STEP TWO [Optional]: Figure out the stream title.

You don’t necessarily need this step, but it can often be helpful when scrolling through a large selection of VODs, and since sometimes the VOD dates can be a day off, having the title will give you the most accuracy.

Go to Twitchtracker.com/ [insert streamer name] /streams and click on the date you just found.

From here, we can see that Fundy’s stream on October 7 was titled “THE NEW MANBERG.”

STEP THREE: Find the VOD on a VODs channel or on Archive.

I will be linking a bunch of unofficial VODs channels that I’d recommend at the end. Here we will be using Fundy Stream Archive.

And there we go! We have successfully located the first Dreamon Hunters VOD!

---

Now, that was an easy example. Things can get a bit more difficult than that.

For our next example: what if you wanted to find the original Captain Puffy “duckling Dream” VOD? 

When did it happen?

If you remember, this stream happened when Captain Puffy hadn’t yet chosen her alliances between Dream SMP and L’manburg. Therefore, it would have been November or early December, soon after she joined the server.

Using the Twitter search method, we’ll search for “duckling Dream” in the date range November 16 - December 20.

The earliest date appears to be November 29.

Using Twitchtracker, we know that Captain Puffy’s stream on November 29 was titled “Nightime vibing on the Dream SMP!”

Next, since Captain Puffy’s VODs from this early on haven’t been archived to a channel on YouTube, we’ll visit Archive.org instead. Search up “Captain Puffy” 

Be sure to sort by date. This will display the date below, but I’d still recommend you have the stream title on hand as well.

Aaaand

There it is! 

There you have it! A step-by-step guide on how to locate old VODs yourselves!

---

What can’t you locate?

Unfortunately, there is content that can’t be found this way.

Tubbo’s August and September VODs, Eret and Jack Manifold’s August VODs, a couple Tommy streams, HBomb’s Doomsday stream, etc., are all missing.

Notably, every so often Sapnap’s Storytime Stream VOD will be rediscovered and passed around as a Google Drive link or uploaded to YouTube before inevitably being taken down again. Keep your eyes peeled and you might see it pop up again.

---

Hope this helped! If you can’t locate something yourself, again, feel free to ask me and I can try my best to find it.

Otherwise, happy searching!

---

Below is a list of channels and resources I’d recommend.

There is more to be found out there that you can look for yourself, but these are the ones I use most regularly!

Tommy’s official VODs channel

Quackity’s official VODs channel

Tubbo’s official VODs channel (you won’t find much here, but it has some VODs from the summer that aren’t available elsewhere)

Technoblade’s stream playlist

Philza’s Twitch archives

Archive.org (heavily recommended for Tubbo, Captain Puffy, Karl, Antfrost and Jack Manifold)

Dream Team Streams SMP in order playlist (goes up to the L’manburg War)

Karl Jacobs VODs (unlisted playlist)

Purpled VODs

Hannahxxrose VODs

Awesamdude’s official VODs channel

Awesamdude unofficial VODs channel (includes earlier VODs)

Badboyhalo VODs

Skeppy VODs

Fundy Stream Archive

Wilbur VODs

Ranboo VODs

MCYT VODs channel (features a variety of streamers -- you’re going to want to know the specific stream title here)

Dream Team SMP channel (good for locating Tubbo VODs. You will want to know the stream title for this one as well)

Dream Team SMP2 channel

Captain Puffy VODs

Sapnap VODs (older ones)

Eret VODs

HBomb94 VODs (older ones)

Georgenotfound VODs (older ones)

Punz VODs (older ones)

Dream VODs

Dream SMP Archive (a few VODs from five months ago)

Dream’s official L’manburg War video trailer (now deleted off of Twitter)

Bad and Skeppy build a mansion

Jack Manifold’s first day on the server (doesn’t include the entire thing unfortunately, but at least the first hour or so)

---

[simplepotatofarmer]

cc!techno roleplay appreciation*!

(*actual, not clickbait)

there's been so much negativity about techno's rp style that i just want to make a post of all the things i adore and appreciate

he has excellent timing. whether it's with logging in at exactly the right moment - the pet war, the red banquet - or speaking up at the best time - 'that's going to be a problem, dream' - or chat comments. honestly, the little moments that he pops in to make some quip in chat only to leave again are wonderful. they lightening the mood or show some insight to his perspective and i love it.

on that same note, it's really endearing to me that he so clearly watches his friends' streams closely enough to do that! he's invested in what they're doing, even when he's not actually involved.

he's extremely consistent with not only his style but his reactions and his character. that isn't to say his character hasn't changed but that he's always changed in a way that was consistent and made sense. he's given in character explanations as to why his character reacts the way he does in serious situations, stating that he deals poorly with them. it sets up the perfect reason for him to stick to his desire to keep his streams light.

again, on that note, his streams honestly are perfect for people like me who struggle with anxiety/ptsd. i can watch them without worry or concern that it might trigger me. i know exactly what i'm getting with a techno lore stream.

he still manages to keep up the suspense, despite being extremely consistent with his tone. it'd be easy to think that nothing bad will ever happen to his character but we've seen bad things happen. i remember being worried for both him and carl during the butcher army bit. when he gave his will to phil, i was honestly emotional and concerned for him!

he's great at visual roleplay and playing to the camera. techno's ability to pick the right moment to look at the camera/turn to the person he's talking to, is so so wonderful. it always adds a punch of humor or serves to highlight something important. both the birthday and prison stream are great examples of that! his looks back to his friends, showing how they're his support, the clear and deliberate focusing on important aspects of the prison so we know that he knows it's a trap without spelling it out. he sets up a ton of visual subtext and it's amazing.

his character arc is touching and well-written. it is absolutely heart-warming to see a character that entered the story to help others, felt betrayed and used and struggled with those feelings, who thought being alone was the only way to be safe, learn to trust his friends and be safe with them.

techno shows us how subtle changes and losses can be just as impactful as large and dramatic ones. techno's character has suffered losses and hurts and deals with those in a consistent for his character way. it's subtle but it's there. going off to the north, becoming a pacifist which was a complete 180 for him was great because it was a small thing but a realistic one to seeing your tactic fail. and his changes now are also subtle but impactful! starting the syndicate was a show of how he's changed. he never really spells these things out for us, but allows us to see it.

he has amazing lines that stick with you. i got into dsmp because of techno and specifically because of his 'i'm a person!' and 'don't you see what's happening here?' lines. they're poignant, they're always spot on in character, and they're always delivered so well. he has a great way of acting that is consistent to his character and style yet still hits you hard. 'for you the world' is said so softly and with so much affection that i honestly tear up thinking about it.

speaking of, his acting is just great. his slow deliberate laughs, the hint of panic when he's trying to stall in high pressure situations, the firm but gentle attempts at comforting others - 'healing's a long process, it's fine' 'it's okay, calm down, dream' - and the worry and fear that comes out when his friends are in danger (phil under house arrest, ranboo being trapped in the hole by bad). it's great and never seems out of place for his character!

he gives us so many insights into his character merely by the way he interacts with the world and other characters. it's honestly so refreshing to see a character that really just shows us what he's like through small actions. i love seeing those moments because they all add up to this big, complex picture. we get to see it all, from big moments like his speeches and doomsday to small moments like feeding animals and giving food to people and it's all just as important!

cc!techno, despite real life challenges, tries to include as many people as he can. hearing niki and puffy etc. talk about how he's always trying to include people was just so sweet. during the birthday stream, he kept focusing on niki and trying to give her attention and i genuinely thought that was great.

the writing for his character is wonderful. as a former english major and writer myself, i love the stories/arcs he writes for his character. again, it's always consistent and makes sense but it also serves as something different! it's a different perspective and style, a different type of a character, one that doesn't have large obvious changes, but does change and more impactfully, brings change with him.

as a long time RPer and DM, cc!techno is exactly the kind of rp partner i would want or the sort of player i would want at my table. he brings something different but easy to work with. he's happy to step back and let other people have their moments. he reacts in a way that's easy for others to play off of but also keeps things light which is helpful because rp can be high pressure, especially in front of such a large audience and live. his presence is comforting and i love when you can hear his friends trying not to laugh.

"i have a pickaxe and i'll put it through your teeth!"

anyway, as someone with adhd and anxiety, i just want to say i appreciate cc!techno and his roleplaying so much! it's comforting, it's easy for me to understand his tone, his emotions come through clearly without being overwhelming and he genuinely adds so much to the server and story!

[shy-indulgent-writer]

Eskel x GN!Reader - “Scars”

masterlist

tag list form

You meet for the first time at a tavern, The Drowning Gull

You’re sitting towards the back, away from where the bard for the night is playing; not to say you don’t appreciate the music, you just would prefer not to be so close to others

Your eyes briefly meet Eskel’s as he walks into the room before you look down into your drink, not wanting to be rude by staring

Throughout the night you take quick glances at him, noticing a new detail every time— how tall he is, how his hair looks a tad bit disheveled, etc.

“That’ll be 30 crowns,” the server says to the man, not deterred by grimace on the Eskel’s face

You had ordered the same mutton stew as the man, but you had only been charged 15 crowns

When the server leaves, you gather up the courage to let him know he’s being overcharged

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were unfairly charged by the server here. I only paid 15 crowns for the mutton stew. You may want to talk to the tavern owner to get some money back.”

Eskel gives a disheartened chuckle, the scar you hadn’t noticed before becomes more prominent as he does so

You glance at his scar, but then make an effort to not stare at it, you wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable

“I’m a witcher,” is all he says

“Okay, and? Witcher or not, that doesn’t excuse the fact that they’re practically robbing you…”

He’s pretty taken aback at the fact that you’re upset on his behalf

He tries to reassure you, letting you know that this happens all the time, but it only seems to make you more upset

“Just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s right. I’m sorry that you’ve had so many negative experiences.”

When your eyes soften as you look at him, he doesn’t know how to feel— he doesn’t want to be pitied or patronized, but it’s nice that you seem to be showing genuine care

“Do you have a place to sleep tonight?”

The shock of the question shows on his face and you become embarrassed, hastily introducing and explaining yourself

“I didn’t mean to be so untoward. I was going to offer sharing the room I’ve rented for the night.”

You both come to the agreement that he’ll sleep on the couch and that you would take the bed (since you paid for the room)

You strip into your smallclothes, something he hadn’t expected

He doesn’t smell wariness from you, though the smell of embarrassment becomes strong as you realize what you did

“I’m so sorry! I’ll be sure to warn you next time.”

Next time? You’d be willing to share a room with him again?

As he gets comfortable on the sofa, he can’t help but to look at you again; not with anything other than curiosity in his mind

You’re busy reading a book in the candlelight, not noticing how he takes in your features and the scars you have

There are a few thin scars and few thick and dark ones, but they would all be covered while you were in your normal attire

His heart aches with sorrow as he imagines the thought of you getting hurt— who would hurt someone as kind as you?

When you came to talk to him about the mutton stew, he noticed you looking at his scars and then immediately looking away

He thought it was because you were so disgusted by them that you couldn’t bare to keep looking, but he now realizes you were being polite— maybe even understanding

He relaxes considerably after the realization, slipping into sleep soon after you blow out the candle and say goodnight

You’re awake before he is, and he wakes up to find you idly tracing the scars on your body, no doubt reminiscing on how you got them based on the faint smell of sorrow and anger

He looks away and gives an exaggerated yawn as a warning, letting you know that he’s awake

“Oh, good morning! I’m glad you’re still here.”

You then go on to talk about how you were worried he might sneak off in the night without getting enough rest, completely oblivious to the way his heart skips a beat

He trails after you as you do your errands for the day: picking up some food and necessary equipment before you set off on the main roads again

“Do you travel by yourself?” He asks, feeling a bit worried and protective of you after you’ve shown him so much care

When you tell him you travel alone, he immediately offers to travel with you

You’re oblivious to it, but he internally curses himself for not thinking things through before he offered to travel with you

He would hate to make your journey harder; he’s a witcher after all, he wouldn’t want to limit the roads you travel on or have you face unfair prices just because you’re associated with him

When you smile and tell him that you’d be happy to have a traveling companion like him, he feels some of the regret wash away

As you travel, its become a norm for you two to talk late into the night, coming up with random hypotheticals and learning about the other

While you seem to be more idealistic in the way you view the world, he’s much more pragmatic

One night, feeling a bit emboldened by the few sips of wine you had, the questions you ask become more personal

“Do you hate your scars?” You ask eventually, so quietly that he feels he’s imagining things

When you turn to look at him though, he knows that you’re looking for an answer

“Regardless of whether or not I like them, they’re still here.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

He traces his scars on his face with his fingers, feeling the unevenness of his skin

“I can’t say that I like them. It makes me come off as dangerous or confrontational.”

He goes on to talk about situations where he’s been looked at like a freak simply because of his scars

When he’s finished, he turns to you, an unspoken question hanging between you

You talk about your scars and the complexity of your feelings towards them— what each one means to you, which ones you wish you never had, which ones you wish hadn’t faded so much

When you’re finished, he takes your hand in his, his calloused hands emanating a comforting warmth

“If you ever feel upset or anxious because of your scars, tell me. We can leave that situation or we can cover it with some makeup if necessary. I can shower you in the compliments you deserve if you’d like,” you tell him, your voice no louder than a whisper

He lets out an amused little huff at that, squeezing your hand a bit tighter, reflecting on how lucky he was to meet someone as kind and understanding as you

“With or without your scars, to me you are perfect,” he replies, his eyes expressing his growing feelings towards you

He hears your heart race a little faster, but doesn’t comment on it

He makes a silent promise to himself that he’ll protect you, determined to ensure that you won’t have any new scarring while he travels with you

[unfoundhoney]

a sister’s sacrifice ; part three ↠

↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst just angst

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;

↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat @bestioe @junoblad3 @machiebach @ok-honey

when considering the deaths of the people on the dream smp server, yours is the hardest

schlatt was detested by all when he’d died

few people still truly cared for wilbur when he met his end; the man he once was was long gone by then

but you

you never changed

you were a constant for so many & immovably kind to the rest

selfless, giving, caring

even when you just wanted an escape, you came to the aid of your brothers

you gave the ultimate sacrifice & paid the price

everyone mourns you

when the battle is won & dream locked away indefinitely

once everyone has come down from the high of freeing themselves from dream’s reign, the server goes into a state of grieving

there’s no denying your death

they all saw the message in chat

you’re dead

those that were close to you took it hard

niki was narrowly stopped from burning down the bakery you encouraged her to open and helped build

eret put her emotions into work on a memorial in their museum for you

even under the egg’s control, bad & ant put the eggpire aside for you

of course, those who took it the hardest is your family

when ghostbur learns of your death, he’s distraught

he doesn’t quite know how to handle the information

he protects your home & only allows people to enter when he supervises them

tommy took a while to move past his anger & deal with the fact that you’re gone

tubbo ran off to start snowchester

he chose to distract himself rather than truly process his emotions, even if you’d always done your best to break that habit of his

now that you’re not around, who’s to stop him from letting himself be numb to it all?

techno is another one of your family members who chose to barely acknowledge your passing

he became somehow more monotonous & emotionless

and phil

...

there’s no word for a parent who loses a child

wilbur was gone & of course it messed phil up to be the one to take will’s last life but by that point his son was gone

but you

you’d always been such a genuinely good person

phil did so little for you as a father

he was so absent

he never apologized to you for that

he never told you how much he loves & appreciates you & everything you’ve done to keep their family together when he couldn’t be bothered

it’s a few hours after he received the news from ranboo that all the guilt for everything he had ever put you through hit him

he broke down in his kitchen while trying to distract himself by organizing his cupboards

but all he could think about was you

you & your never ending kindness & compassion

he was never a father to you

yet you never hated him

why couldn’t you have hated him?

it would hurt less to lose you if you hated him; it’s what he deserves

he’s unworthy of your love

but he can only dwell so long on you

you are given a proper funeral

you’re buried by the seashore, somewhere between l’manberg and tommy’s abandoned vacation homes in an open field

the sever members plant so many flowers, your gravesite becomes a flower field

but soon, life goes on

it will only hurt for longer to draw out the mourning period

it would do no good for anyone

besides, you wouldn’t want the server to be sad for your sake

techno supposes it’s for the best that you died

he does his best to move on, filling his days with resource gathering and upgrading his tools, weapons, and armor while trying to think through his emotions logically

as much as he liked you

as much as everyone liked you, you were too good

you were the best of them

fate is not kind to heroes

“hello!”

technoblade is not an easy man to sneak up on, let alone scare

the greeting itself isn’t want startles him

it’s turning toward the voice to lock eyes with you

you who is dead

techno is not proud of the sound he made when he saw you but you of all people wouldn’t make fun of him for it

he just stares at you, slowly realizing what’s happened

you look desaturated, the color drained from your clothes

your skin is grey & almost translucent

you’re a ghost

“y/n.”

“hello! who are you?”

techno tells no on one of your ghost form

he even keeps the rest of the server a secret from you

he leads you to your old home & leaves you there w/ ghostbur

he hopes your and ghostbur’s combined amnesia will keep you out of harm’s way i.e. the rest of the server

he visits you occasionally but mostly leaves you be

you live happily with ghostbur for a while

he is very glad to have you back

his memory is nearly as bad as yours, so the story of the server & what happened to you when you were alive is only given to you in bits & pieces that are near impossible to fit together

it was only a matter of time before someone came to visit your house

“...y/n?”

it’s tubbo who finds you first

or he finds your ghost

(tubbo) y/n! oh my god! you’re a ghost! you’ve come back!

(you) hello! *whispers* ghostbur, who is this?

(ghostbur, whispering obviously) that’s tubbo, one of your other brothers i’ve told you about

(you, whispering) oh, right

(tubbo) how long have you- oh, this is incredible! i have to tell tommy! he’s been so sad since you died; he’ll be so glad to see you!

tubbo messages tommy, who is skeptical but reluctantly comes to your house anyway

but there you are

your ghost anyway

which is good enough, honestly

(tommy) y/n!

you catch him in a hug easily, even if you’ve never met him before

(tommy) you’re alive!

(you) no i’m not. i’m a ghost!

techno happens to check in on you when tubbo & tommy are there

bad news for technoblade: you’d told them about techno leading you here

meaning: tommy knows techno hid you from him & everyone else

needless to say, he is not too happy about that

(tommy) you hid her! you kept her away from us!

(techno) tommy, you have to understand-

(tommy) i don’t have to understand shit! you hid her from us! you lied to us!

(techno) tommy-

(tommy) you kept her from everyone! you’re selfish and you’re a liar and you’re horrible and-

(techno) i did it to protect her! she’s been hurt enough protecting others; it’s our turn to protect her. the only way we can do that is by leaving her alone

(tommy) she’s my sister

(techno) your sister is dead, tommy. for once in her life, let her have peace

tommy gives up on techno & goes to you instead

(tommy) y/n! y/n, we can bring you back. we can revive you. well, dream can revive you but he’s in prison so he has to do what we say so we can bring you back. we can be a family again. don’t you want to come back?

(you) ...no

that

...

that isn’t what tommy was expecting

(tommy) what?

(you) if alive y/n comes back, i won’t exist anymore. and i’ve only just got here. i don’t want to go yet

(tommy) don’t you understand how much y/n means to me? y/n has to come back. she has to. she’s so important. not just to me but to, um... tubbo as well! right, tubbo? don’t you want y/n back?

tommy looks to tubbo for some backup but the shorter boy looks away

(tubbo) i think we need to let y/n go, tommy

the betrayal that fills tommy’s chest is soon gone as he locks eyes with techno

tommy knows techno is right

you’re too much of a good person

you’re too willing to sacrifice yourself for others

even as a ghost your kindness is blinding

this server will only drain you of everything you have yet again

he will drain you of everything you are

he’s just tried to convince you to cease to exist to bring back the former version of yourself

(you) i’m sorry. it’s just- i’ve heard there are these really pretty blue flowers in the swamp biome that i haven’t got to see yet-

(tommy) no. it’s fine. i’m sorry. i-... i should go.

tommy leaves your house & tubbo goes with him

even if tubbo caught on a bit sooner to techno’s reasoning, he’s still concerned at his friend’s sudden change in character

(tubbo) tommy... are you alright?

(tommy) ...i really want her back

(tubbo) i do, too. but she’s gone

(tommy) she doesn’t have to be

tubbo can’t argue with that

(tommy) but... maybe it’s for the best

(tubbo) really?

(tommy) yeah.

(tubbo) but just earlier you were telling me about your plan to get the revive book from dream

(tommy) techno’s right, tubbo. all everyone- myself included- has ever done to y/n is take. and she’s given everything

(tubbo) because she loved us

(tommy) as much as she loved us and as much as we loved her... the only thing we’ve ever brought her is pain. i think now... now is her time to rest.

(tubbo) ...that’s very pog champ of you, big man

tommy had planned to visit dream as many times as it took to get the revive book location off of him so he could revive you, but now he’s accepted that he needs to move on

he needs to move on from you & dream & everything dream has put him through

he decides to pay one last visit to dream, put him behind him, & never look back

he’s ready to start a new chapter in his life, one without dream

and the first one without you

but then he’s locked in the prison

two weeks pass

nearing three weeks & tommy still isn’t allowed out of dream’s cell

he’s irritated and annoyed and most of all he’s scared

but he can’t let dream know he’s still afraid of him, that’s why he pisses dream off enough to the point of being beat to death

tommy begs him to stop

but then he’s gone

everything is dark

black

empty

nothing

is this what death is?

conscious in absolute nothingness?

tommy’s feet feel the ground beneath him

his senses come back to him

it’s still dark but he feels as though he can see again

where is he?

heaven?

no, probably hell

or maybe neither?

both...?

what the hell happened?

the first thing to break the silence is the voice tommy has known since he was an infant

the voice of the person who raised him

the voice of the person who has always been there for him

the voice of the person who he has finally let go of

your voice

saying one simple word

“tommy?”