#but I don't so this is the best I can do folks
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"Oh, yes, very scandalous with our Italian folk dances."
She asked if he loved Riccardo. Armand smiled thoughtfully. There were so many painful memories around him, but it was still lovely to think of him now and them.
"I did. He was so warm and charming, and he never... We never disliked one another. We were brothers. We were equals. Even when I excelled him or he bested me, we loved every moment. And when we played our games... it was the same as when we played cards. We weren't in love. We were never jealous or heartsick. It was easy."
And on the point of ballet, "I didn't mean you-. You can. If you like. I meant I might take classes on my own. You don't hate the ballet, do you?"
MIna smirked at him, "So what I'm selectively hearing is that I need to order a sexy sturdy corset so you can lift me in and we can be the scandalous married couple we were always meant to be."
She was curious, "It sounds like you loved him a lot."
She held on as he spun them both, smiling as he had fun.
"Will this be a couples ballet or....? I'm afraid I'm not very graceful but I'd try if you want to make a duo out of it."
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holy shit wait…your 32???
I…im gonna cry
I didn’t know we can live this long…
not just trans mass but…
alterhuman…and plurals..and…
I can’t…
so happy
gonna cry……..
yes i am! i was born in 1992 :)
that's exactly why i have my age in my bio- i've wanted to show people that you don't "outgrow" fundamental parts of your identity. it's natural to adopt and shed identities as we age, but i've been out as genderqueer since 19! nothing has changed, i'm still the same genderqueer person i was all those years ago!
and if anything- life has gotten better in my 30s. as a word of advice to most people out there: your teen years and your twenties FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!!! they tell you those are the "best years of your life" but they're NOT- you're growing into a world that is terrifying and doesn't understand you. you're scared. your brain and body are still developing and you're constantly facing new challenges. those are honestly i think the HARDEST years of your life, hands down
when i was a teenager, i would think to myself "phht there's literally no way i'm making it past 25 lmao" and figure that life ends after 25. well, that day came where i turned 25... and nothing changed.
and then i turned 30. still, nothing changed
now i'm 32 and... nothing has changed. maturation happens with age, yes, but it doesn't mean that you're suddenly a completely different person. people have such a shitty view on 30 year olds, like it's somehow "embarrassing" to be above the age of 25 years old. people in their 30s are constantly picked on, we're constantly told to "act our age" when... we are. i'm happier than ever realizing that I made it to my 30s, still trans, still nonhuman, still plural
i've been in treatment for DID since 2017, and while i've healed a lot, i have not integrated with my alters, and i never will. i don't want to. this is how my brain functions. the dissociation can be a nightmare for me, but my brain needs different people inside of it in order to be able to function properly. we tried to force ourselves to live as a singlet for 3 years and what ended up happening was that host at that time cracked from being under the constant pressure and still has never returned. the amount of stress it placed on us to try to live as a singlet was not worth it. at all
there hasn't been a singular moment in my adult life where i stopped being nonhuman, either. that was something that i never even tried to force myself out of. i never viewed it as weird or something that i should "outgrow"- i told my own mother that i did not identify as human as a child and that never left me. even now, i still wear dog collars, ears, tails, and take nature walks and do things to make myself feel more like my nonhuman selves. i'm still a furry, too!
i might not be a queer "elder" yet, but i'm happy as can be to be able to be an older queer person who can use their experience to help younger folks. thanks for sending this message! trust me, there really is a life after your 20s. your teens and 20s suck massively. but after i passed 30 i became more down to earth about my age. it's not a bad thing to live past 20- in fact, it's a badge of honor. i made it. i'm still breathing, i'm still here, still queer, despite all attempts to prevent me from still being here.
i'm going to continue be here for a long, long time, and you can be here with me, too.
take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by!
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PWHL 2024-2025 Primer
It's that time of year again folks. PWHL starts on November 30th.
The sections of this primer are: What is the PWHL, Where can I watch, Rules/League Structure, Official league pages, journalists to follow, and an introduction to each team (what they did last year, who's on the team, notable players, you should root for them if you..)
What is the PWHL?
The Professional Women's Hockey League was created in 2023 and launched in January 2024. It is currently the sole professional women's hockey league in North America.
Heading into the 2024-2025 season, the PWHL has six teams: The Toronto Sceptres, Boston Fleet, Minnesota Frost, New York Sires, Montréal Victoire, and Ottawa Charge. Each team plays 30 regular season games per team. You can find the full season schedule here.
Where can I watch?
Disclaimer; We don't have an official 100% confirmation on the American and non-North American ones yet, just reports from journalists who I do deem trustworthy. I will edit any changes and highlight them in bold if necessary.
On Television/Streaming
Canadian fans will have games on TSN and its affiliates (such as TSN+) primarily, with select games on CBC and Prime video.
French broadcasts of Montreal games can be found on RDS (18), Radio-Canada (6) on ICI TÉLÉ and ICI TOU.TV
Full streaming/television schedule for Canada
All fans not in Canada are available to stream on the PWHL Youtube regardless of location (so if you're "in market" there's no black outs like there is NHL games)
Last year regional games were held on: Bally Sports North in Minnesota, NESN/NESN+ in Boston, MSG/MSG+ in New York, Sportnet Pittsburgh has carried select games. Not 100% confirmed this will be the case last year. Even if your regional sports network carries it, however, you should be able to access it on Youtube in America
In Person
Toronto and New York (sort of) have new locations this year
Toronto Scepters play at Coca-Cola Coliseum
Ottawa Charge play at TD Place
Montréal Victoire play at Place Bell
Boston Fleet play at Tsongas Center (Lowell, MA)
Minnesota Frost play at Xcel Energy Center
New York Sirens will play at Prudential Center (Newark, NJ)
There are also many neutral site games this year including Detroit, Quebec City, Raleigh, Vancouver, Denver, Buffalo, St. Louis, and Seattle that you can read about here
What are the rules? The League Structures?
Who makes the playoffs and what do they look like?
Please keep in mind that with such a young league, it's possible this will be tinkered with.
Each game is worth three points: 3 for a regulation win, 2 for an overtime win, and 1 for an overtime loss
Last year, the PWHL had 4 of the 6 teams make the playoffs. The number one seed got to choose their opponent between the third and fourth seed.
All series were best of five series, the two semi finals and then the finals.
Rules
If you are an NHL fan looking to jump in, here are the differences in the PWHL. The rulebook is also here.
Bodychecking is allowed in the PWHL, so long as it is done in an attempt to play the puck or gain possession. While women's hockey has always been physical, bodychecking at this level is fairly new, the SDHL in Sweden started to allow it just in 2021 and then the PWHL last year, so refs and players are adjusting in how they're going to draw the line between legal and illegal. This is also not the case in international competition, so it is a little different than the olympics or worlds if you are used to watching those.
The PWHL has a "jailbreak rule" which means that if you are shorthanded and score, the penalty ends.
In shootouts, a player can go as many times as they'd like.
New this year is the "No Escape" rule where players of a penalized team are required to stay on the ice to start the penalty kill.
Coaches can challenge delay of game puck over glass penalties.
Hits to the head, headbutting, and grabbing an opponents helmet strap, throat protector, or hair is an automatic major penalty and game misconduct.
What are the official social media pages? Who are good people to follow?
Official league pages:
PWHL: Instagram / Twitter / Tiktok / Youtube / Website
There's also a unofficial bluesky bot that re-posts all of the PWHL X content
Sceptres: Instagram / Twitter / Tiktok / Youtube / Website
Fleet: Instagram / Twitter / Tiktok / Youtube / Website
Victoire: Instagram / Twitter / Tiktok / Youtube / Website
Frost: Instagram / Twitter / Tiktok / Youtube / Website
Sirens: Instagram / Twitter / Tiktok / Youtube / Website
Charge: Instagram / Twitter / Tiktok / Youtube / Website
News and Journalists:
This is not a comprehensive list, just a starter pack! feel free to add any recommendations in the comments.
Kyle Cushman: Works for the score, covers the whole league (as well as some nhl), keeps public statistical information. The Score author page / Twitter / Bluesky
The Ice Garden: Long time women's hockey publication. I'd also recommend going through their contributor/author page and following them individually! Website / Twitter / Bluesky
Hailey Salvian: Long time reporter for the Athletic for women's hockey Twitter
Kenzie Lalonde: TSN reporter based in Montreal covering PWHL among others, also does play by play Twitter
Rick Menning: Local reporter for the Sirens Twitter
Kelsea Durham: Local reporter for the Boston Fleet for Inside the Rink Linktree
Christine Roger: French-Canadian reporter, who posts in French, mainly about Montreal Twitter
PWHL Report: Content aggregator for if you don't want to follow a bunch individually and really the only one i've seen post stuff to Instagram Twitter / Instagram
Who are the Boston Fleet?
The Boston Fleet were last years runner up in the league.
Their roster can be viewed here, with updates to be expected in the next few days as training camp cuts and contract being signed, the waiver period starting for teams to sign players that got cut from other teams training camps, and final rosters are made.
Notable players: Hilary Knight (captain), Aerin Frankel (Star goalie), Alina Müller (Swiss hockey star), Hannah Bilka (first round pick this last draft.)
You should root for this team if: You like defense-first hockey, strong New England college hockey connections, rooting for the youngest ice hockey player to win an olympic medal (Alina Müller), a player who got a custom outfit for pride night (Jamie Lee Rattray), Jewish hockey icons (Aerin Fankel), and players who are also podcasters and make a lot of tiktoks (Lexi Adzija and Taylor Girard)
Who are the Montréal Victoire?
The Montréal Victoire finished second in the standings last year, where
Live roster viewable here with expected updates the next few days
Notable players: Marie Philip-Poulin, Laura Stacey, Erin Ambrose, Ann-Renée Desbiens (all four are long time Team Canada legends), Lina Ljungblom (young Swedish superstar), Mikyla Grant Mentis and Kennedy Marchmand (both former PHF MVPs)
You should root for this team if: You love two way defensive minded centers, rooting for the league favorite, star players who are married to each other (Poulin and Stacey), short defenders (5'1 Amanda Boulier and 5'2 Cayla Barnes), post game victory dances, I dont even know how to describe this but heres grant mentis and Lásková watching golf i have to put it here
Who are the Toronto Sceptres?
The Sceptres were the first place team in the PWHL last year.
Roster here, once again will change this week
Notable players: Natalie Spooner (league MVP and long time team Canada player), Sarah Nurse (Olympic record holder for points and top scorer), Julia Gosling (first round pick), CJ Jackson (backup goaltender, social media darling, and LGBT activist), Renata Fast (top defender for both PWHL and Team Canada)
You should root for this team if you: love all the Team Canada players who grew up outside Quebec and also the coaches (all but three players are Canadian and many have played internationally for Canada, the coaching/management also largely from team canada and shares stylistic similarities), are interested in Nursey Nights (Sarah Nurse's collaboration with Black Girl Hockey Club during Toronto Sceptres games!), want to root for the other league favorites, love noted pancake enthusiasts (Kali Flanagan), or if you're more on the savory side, love a hot dog enthusiast (CJ)
Who are the Ottawa Charge?
The Ottawa Charge finished fifth in the league last season
Roster here with updates to come
Notable players: Brianne Jenner (team Canada and captain of Ottawa), Emily Clark (top scorer), Kateřina Mrázová (top scorer and Czech national team icon), Danielle Serdachny (second overall pick), Ronja Savolainen (Finnish national team mainstay and SDHL icon)
You should root for this team if you: Have an interest in Czech players (Mrázová, Vanišová, Tejralová), you like podcasting players (but gay this time), enjoy a team that regularly updates their youtube channel and does a fan fest and has some of the best player created content, like a team that is not afraid to make bold roster moves
Who are the Minnesota Frost?
The Minnesota Frost are your inaugural PWHL champions!
Here is a live, updating roster
Notable players: Kendall Coyne (Captain, Team USA), Taylor Heise (last years #1 overall pick and one of the leagues scorer), Grace Zumwinkle (also a top scorer), Nicole Hensley (star goalie and also Team USA starting goaltender typically), Michela Cava (extensive experience as top player in PHF, SDHL, and Russia.)
You should root for this team if you: Have a lot of midwest pride and like teams in the WCHA, value speed when watching hockey, like players with unconventional paths to stardom (Hensley, who played at Lindenwood in college and made team USA only after college finished), want to root for the ultimate playoff sicko (Michela Cava, who has 4 championships across four leagues, two finals MVPs, and is over a point per game combining all playoffs), like franchise cornerstones who are besties and call each other 'the dog to their cat" and vice versa (Heise and Zumwinkle)
Who are the New York Sirens?
The New York Sirens finished last in the PWHL last year
Roster with updates to come
Notable players: Abby Roque, Alex Carpenter (both team usa and PWHL top scorers), Corinne Schroeder (had the best goaltending season in PHF history in 2023 and followed it up by having one of the best PWHL seasons despite a tough workload), Sarah Fillier (first overall pick this year, team Canada star), Maja Nylén Persson (round two pick, SDHL best defender of the year last year, team Sweden's #1 defender), Noora Tulus (finnish national team star and one of the best SDHL players of all time.)
You should root for this team if you: want to see a team really build itself up from the ground floor, as theres a lot of roster turnover this year and a new coaching staff, with a lot of exciting draftees. like a team that has a little more physicality/grit. want to maximize the number of crossovers with other professional sports teams possible, like the nickname pizza rats. Want to enjoy some of the best mic'd up content (Roque)
#pwhl#boston fleet#minnesota frost#montréal victoire#toronto sceptres#ottawa charge#new york sirens#hockey#women's hockey#scheduled post..lets hope no news comes out between when im scheduling and when its posted#long post
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One thing that I seen Stampede Wolfwood often characterized as by folks is well... distant is probably the best word for it. Mopey. Averse. The sort of guy who you wouldn't catch asking for a hug on the worst day of his life.
But I don't think that's true. Or at least, not beyond being a front he puts up. And there's one scene that for me confirms it. Because when Vash gets shot in Julai, Wolfwood's first response isn't to attack back.
It's to run over, put an arm out for support, and check in on him. Only when Vash shows himself to be okay do we see Wolfwood tell these people to back the fuck off.
You could read motivation into this act of comfort. There's fuel here for shipping, or perhaps Wolfwood is that terrified of his boss's mark getting injured. But it does also pair nicely with another scene not a few minutes later.
"My body moves before I can think."
In the split second before someone gets hurt, Vash isn't considering whether or not he should help them. He just does. The desire to protect is something so deeply ingrained in his core that it has become pure instinct.
And I think it's the same with Wolfwood. The moment that he takes to put up that shield of unbothered-ness is a moment too late. Big brother Nico has already taken action.
And even when he's just messing around, for someone who is meant to be cold and uncaring, Wolfwood's suspiciously handsy. This scene between him and Meryl would not have the same affectionate 'bickering siblings' vibe if he didn't insist on throwing his arm around her.
He's trying to mask it here by being annoying, but there's affection here. Not just emotionally, but through physical touch. Proximity too - guy's not adverse to getting up in people's faces to nick (ha) stuff.
And even at his most hostile and snappy, well, there's no strict reason why he has to get so close to Vash and grab him by the shirt like this:
But is it really a surprise that Wolfwood's like this? After all, the flashback with Livio shows that he was absolutely an affectionate and caring kid, even if edgy-teenager logic would have it utterly mortifying to admit out loud. The Eye of Michael can try to beat it out of him all they want, but a desire for closeness isn't something you can just remove from someone. It may end up muted, sure, but deep down it will always still be there.
TL;DR Wolfwood is absolutely secretly the biggest cuddlebug on this godforsaken planet and you can't convince me otherwise.
#trigun#trigun meta#trigun stampede#surprise! I'm back on my bullshit!#I need a dozen images of this man getting physical affection STAT
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Behold, because I had a certified Ruby Brain Blast™ and let the vervose demon take over. Click at your own risk.
Love is this visceral thing that's inside all of us and it manifests in as many ways as there are human beings. Our most brilliant minds can't even define what's inside our noggings. Does anyone here think that they can define love? 'Cuz the best I got is "The relationship that one has with what makes them happy." and I know that's not right, because I know that we also love the things that hurt us. There is much, much more to it and we are not gonna answer this riddle. Regardless of how certain anybody sounds about it and how hard they try to push it on others.
Whatever Jayce and Viktor have is 100% pure unadultered love. But the only way I know this is because of how much it has moved us all. How deeply it has shaken our cores. And yet we can't agree and NOT squabble about what it is that it means and we're letting this obsession with the specifics to create a hundred different divides. And at this point I think that we have to ask us if this is worth it. Maybe the time of thinking this is over. Now we've got to allow ourselves and others just FEEL this. Our feelings dont have to be their feelings, but I sure would like to share a blanket and some cookies with more people. Don't we all appreciate the comfort of emotional support?
Now, get ready folks because I'm about to pull out one of my corniest moves: parroting a quote and try to capture a fraction of it's original rawness.
"I thought I could bring an end to the world's suffering. But when every equation was solved all that remained were fields of dreamless solitude. There is no prize to perfection. Only an end to pursuit."
What I mean with this is that, like good 'ole Viktor, we're letting the pain inflicted on us by the evils of the world take over the wheel. Thankfully none of us has access to experimental eldritch technology, so let us enjoy the diversity of the human experience. Why not coexist when we do have the privilege to choose?
asking sincerely. do you see a romance between jayce and viktor? do you think they ended up being something romantic at the end?
With apologies I am going to only half talk about the thing you are asking me, since I have something else on my mind and you happened to hit the button that makes me vomit it into words.
Coming at this from an aromantic perspective, I obviously don't experience the state of absurd obsessive delusion that you bizarre romantic freaks fetishize so feverishly*, but I am often annoyed by the idea that friendship and romance are either opposites or mutually exclusive. From my perspective, the boundary between the two is at best thin, and more realistically not actually a boundary at all except by cultural construction.
*i am taking an excessively hostile, crass tone for my own amusement i do not mean this seriously please be normal at me, weird allo freaks
I won't get into my full feelings about the end of Arcane, but it seems perfectly plain to me that the script, the imagery and the animation presents Jayce and Viktor as two halves of a whole, not opposing forces but alike to yin and yang: opposites which each contain the other. And at the climax of the show, the greatest peril to life and peace in the narrative is resolved by these two men literally joining their bodies and souls together, and going into eternity holding one another for comfort and strength. They are quite literally soulmates, quite literally the most important people in one another's lives.
I don't think that that kind of intimate emotional connection between men must necessarily be either romantic or sexual - I am aromantic, and plenty of ace people exist, and there is nothing in our natures excluding us from intense connections of love with other people of any gender.
I also think it is willfully ignorant (and genuinely homophobic) to act as though these deep connections are mutually exclusive with sex and romance. As though if Viktor and Jayce fucked nasty and made out sloppy style, suddenly their intimacy is less pure or valid, or tainted somehow.
"If these two men who are emotionally close to one another also fuck or get romantically involved, then friendship is dead, murdered on the floor by a dick-shaped knife; vile sexuality corrupts and debases the true, pure and virtuous love of ✨friendship✨" <- This shit is homophobic at a baseline, queerphobic in general, and frankly as an aromantic man I find it pretty fucking insulting as well.
What, are my friendships with other men just inherently more pure and divine, more meaningful and true than a gay man's can ever be, because I will never suffer the vile temptation of adding romance to my affection? Is that how I should think of myself? And is an aroace man more pure than me still, the only source of TRUE male friendship that a man can ever experience, free from the pustulant corruption of sexuality and romantic desire?
You get this pathetic defensiveness (especially from men, but other genders aren't immune) wherein sex and sexuality and romance between men is perceived as a threat to men's right and ability to experience deep connection to each other. But the emotional castration of men comes not from people imagining sex and romance as a component of our relationships - it comes from people who insist that our emotional lives must be ruled by strict binaries. Sex and romance, OR ELSE friendship. Deep romantic connection OR ELSE deep platonic connection. Pick one and do not dare to imagine both, nor act as though the boundary between them is something that we built by cultural fiat, and which can be dismantled just the same.
And yes, yes, yes, I know there are cultural forces literally illuminati-style conspiring to systemically erase the entire existence of explicitly romantic, sexual male love from media, and I know that homophobic puritanism is on the rise and there are material concerns and a real necessity for explicit representation in fiction, yes I know. Everything is more complicated than a tumblr post can cover, I am not trying to Solve Rainbow Capitalism™ over here, I am trying to express frustration as an aromantic man that this stupid fucking binary keeps getting culturally reinforced by both my enemies and my well-meaning allies, when I think the binary is what's fucking killing us in the first place.
So anyway. My position is that Viktor and Jayce can be entirely aromantic no-homo friends, and they can fuck nasty in the throes of mutual need and obsession, and I refuse to entertain the idea that there is an irresolvable contradiction between those things. Each of those can contain the other, or become the other given time and circumstance.
What the imagery, storytelling and script of Arcane makes clear is that Viktor and Jayce love each other more than life itself. To say that that love must be shoved into the box of either "platonic" or "romantic" is to miss out on almost everything that is beautiful about love. It can be both and neither! It can be a secret third, ninth or fifteenth thing that they haven't invented a tag for on Ao3 yet.
They are giving each other whatever the spiritual mind-ghost equivalent of sloppy backshots are on the ethereal plain forever, they are the most romantic lovers in the cosmos, and they are also the most chaste and platonic life-partner friends you have ever seen, effortlessly intimate and unashamedly tender. They are men who love one another, in every way that love matters.
You can pick whichever interpretation brings you joy, and resonates with what your heart needs, the text of the show is eminently and explicity open to it, and anyone who says otherwise either failed to pay attention, or refused to pay attention on purpose.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#quote#rant#Sorry if this feels like I'm taking away from TBSkyen's very important point#My intention is to add to it#Admitedly letting your brain go on turbo mode and ranting ain't the best way to go about it but that's why I tag it accordingly#Maybe I should get an actual tag for these?#Ruby Brain Blast™#Sounds about right
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Three Months
Dieter Bravo x F!Reader wc: 4,490
Summary: Dieter wants to sleep with you, so you propose a deal. Warnings/Tags: MDNI 18+, best friends to lovers, mentions of drugs and alcohol, Dieter being well... himself, Dieter getting sober, fingering(f!receiving), unprotected PinV(be smarter than this IRL folks), I believe that's it but if I missed anything let me know! A/N: This would be my submission for my own Get Dieter Sober challenge! Don't forget peeps there's still time if you wanna submit something! Thank you @beefrobeefcal and @jennaispunk for lending their eyes for this one!
Masterlist||AO3||Get Dieter Sober masterlist
divider provided by @saradika-graphics
“Dee,” you let out a frustrated sigh, flinging yourself back on his bed, “We’ve been over this!”
“Oh, come on!” Dieter whines, “You’re hot, I’m hot. What would be the big deal?”
“Just because you want to fuck someone doesn’t mean it should be me!” You huff, rolling your eyes. Dieter flops beside you on his bed with a frustrated groan.
“It’s not fair,” he whines, laying on his side and propping his head up with his fist. “You’re my best friend! Why wouldn’t I ask you? It wouldn’t change anything just because we sleep together.” He tries to argue. “Plus, it’s not like we haven’t fooled around some.”
“We were both drunk,” you bark out a laugh, “I don’t think that counts. All we did was make out on your couch and you fell asleep dry-humping me.”
“Could try again.” He suggests, wiggling his eyebrows.
You’ve lost count now of how many times he’s tried this during your years of friendship. Dieter gets this wild hair up his ass convinced he wants to sleep with you, only for someone else to come along and occupy him. You roll on your side to face him. Eyes roaming the features of his face: his pouty lips with his bottom lip stuck out further as he begged, the aquiline shape of his nose, and lastly, his big brown eyes, bloodshot and wide pupils from whatever substance he took today. Pills, coke, booze, you name it, Dieter Bravo snorted or ingested it. You smirked, an idea forming in your head.
“How bad do you want to fuck me, Bravo?” You ask in a sultry tone, your fingers scratching through the scruff of his jaw, leaning into him, tracing your nose softly against his.
“Really fucking bad.” He breaths out, his lips ghosting over your own, stretching his neck, attempting to slot his mouth over yours.
“Then I’ll make a deal with you,” you smirk, running your fingers through his thick brown waves, pulling his head away from you.
“Okay.” He giggles giddily as you loosen the grip on his hair, “What are you thinking?”
“Three months — no drugs, no booze, no sex,” you let out breezily, “Then I’ll let you fuck me.”
“What?” Dieter all but shrieks, eyes widening at your proposal.
“You heard me,” you say, booping his nose with your index finger, “You want to fuck me so bad. Need to be sober for three months.”
“What am I supposed to do for three fucking months?” He asks, flopping onto his stomach on the bed.
“Be sober.” You shrug, letting out an evil cackle, and gently pat his back.
“Deal,” Dieter grumbles into his comforter. “Three months will fly by.” He huffs, shrugging. “I’ll be fine,” he mumbles more to himself.
—
He looks up from his phone, watching the party around him. Women and men gyrating on the makeshift dance floor. A week into this deal with you and he feels fine. He won’t cave. A handsome brunette offers him some random pill but he declines, making his way through the house.
“Hey, Dieter!” someone shouts from a room off the hallway he’s been walking down.
“Hey man,” Dieter said, popping his head in through the door. “Guess I found the chill party, huh?”
“Have a seat.” A skinny redhead with tits trying to spill out of her top says, patting the spot next to her, “We can have fun in here.”
Dieter gulps, nodding his head as his eyes take her in, making his way to the spot next to her on the couch. When he sits down, he feels his phone vibrate in his palm. He looks down to see you sent him a message.
I know you went to some party tonight. Don’t forget our deal.
Dieter: Why do you hate me?
I don’t hate you. 😘
Dieter: At a party with a redhead sitting next to me with tits the size of bowling balls. You hate me.
You can back out at any time.
Dieter: NO! Why’d sex have to be off the table?
“Want some?” The redhead asks, offering Dieter the joint in her hand. He shakes his head with a polite no thank you, redirecting his focus back to his phone. He chuckles, reading your message.
You got tested, doofus. I’m not going to sleep with you if you’re not clean.
Dieter: What if I get tested before we fuck?
No.
With a sigh, he pockets his phone, trying to pick up what is being discussed around the circle of people passing the joint around. He spends the rest of his time at the party in this small room, trying to steer clear of greater temptation down the hall. Dieter wouldn’t have even come to this party had his manager not forced him to. Something about socializing with some model and trying to get on a director's good side. Who the director and model were, Dieter had no idea. All he could think about was you, wondering what you were doing, if you were even serious about this deal.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna hit this?” The redhead purred, leaning into his side, her breasts brushing against his arm.
Dieter clears his throat, trying his best to avoid looking at her cleavage. “Nope. I’m good.” He murmurs with a shake of his head.
Since the moment he laid eyes on you, Dieter knew he wanted to fuck you and wasn’t about to lose his chance now.
—
“Being sober is so fucking boring!” Dieter whines, sitting on the opposite end of his couch, snatching the open KitKat off his coffee table. “I don’t get why people do this.”
“Dieter. It’s been a month.” You huff, rolling your eyes as he takes a giant bite off the chocolate bar.
“I’m jus-“ he continues to chew, “I’m just saying, it’s boring! I don’t know how you do this.” He says after swallowing the sweet treat.
“Find a different hobby,” you say, shrugging your shoulders, picking the lint off your leggings, “I don’t know what to tell you, ya big baby.”
“I’m not a big baby!” Dieter huffs, tossing the KitKat back onto the coffee table. “I don’t have any hobbies besides fucking, drinking, and drugs!” He says, leaning towards you, his arms caging you in against the arm of his couch. Your throat feels dry suddenly, taking in his steely expression, “How am I supposed to release all this stress?” He asks, quirking his brow, his mouth so close you can smell the chocolate on his breath. Dieter gently kisses the corner of your mouth, his lips making a soft trail from your jaw to your neck, “Hmm?” He asks, waiting for a response before his teeth gently scrape that spot behind your ear.
You let out a soft whine feeling his hard length against your thigh.
“No!” You bark out, gently pushing him away from you, attempting to catch your breath. “Not the deal, bucko. It’s only been a month.”
“Fine,” Dieter huffs, sitting back on the couch and folding his arms across his broad chest. “Then what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” He asks, nodding his head towards the tent in his pants.
“You’ll be fine.” You say, giving him a pointed look and grabbing the TV remote to turn something on to distract you after whatever that was. “Do we need to watch The Lion King?” You ask, a grin spreading across your face.
“Why? So I can be even more confused about my feelings for Scar?!” He laughs, grabbing his crotch and adjusting himself. “He’s a bad guy but maybe he’d be fun.” He adds with a shrug
“You’re so fucking weird.” You laugh, shaking your head, nudging his shoulder with your own.
“Fuck off,” Dieter grumbles, scooting his hips down to get more comfortable and stretching his arm across the back, “Actually, no. Come here,” he says, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you closer to his side. You lay your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent with a smile. He lets out a sigh, laying his cheek against the top of your head. “I like this,” he whispers as you find a movie to watch.
“What?” You whisper, scooting closer to him.
“New hobby.” He hums, placing a kiss on your head, “Cuddling.”
You roll your eyes, biting your lip to keep from smiling. You are really beginning to like this Dieter. Sober Dieter is a lot sweeter.
—
Dieter sits in his art studio, contemplating what to paint. The drugs tended to spark that creativity in him, his hands moving mindlessly until some weird fucked up masterpiece was sitting in front of him. Except now. Now he sits wondering what he’s even doing in the room he’s avoided for weeks upon weeks. Unable to make that same spark come to life, staring out the window to his backyard. Maybe I could do a landscape, he thinks.
“What the fuck am I thinking?” He groans, throwing the paintbrush down in defeat, “I’m not fucking Bob Ross.”
He grabs his phone, opening it to the first thing he sees, a message from his dealer.
Hey Bravo. Been a while man, you good?
His palms begin to sweat, fingers itching to respond. What would he even say?
Sorry, your highest-paying customer is sober.
Hey, yeah everything’s great!
Actually everything is really fucking bad.
Can I stop by?
Then a notification pops up that you shared something on Instagram, deciding to click on it, his focus is immediately on you. He smiles, seeing the selfie you posted. You, with your soft lips, your sweet smile, your eyes twinkle like you’ve got a secret you’re not ready to share. Just you.
Dieter had a hard time admitting to himself that he loved you. Not the kind of love shared between friends but more.
The first time it popped into his brain had been during a drug-fueled bender when you took care of him during and after, reminding him to drink water, laying in his bed with him because he didn’t want to be alone, scratching his back, and putting up with his demanding whines of discomfort.
The second time had been during a drunken night where he was trying to forget about his feelings. Only for him to wind up banging on your apartment door at four am, when he cried himself to sleep on your couch about how much he loved you, while you softly exhaled and shook your head with a pitiful face and told him - Dieter, you’re drunk.
The third time and when he finally accepted it was the following morning, waking to the sunlight shining brightly into your living room. His body and head feeling so achy, slumping off your couch, making his way to your room. He smiled watching you deep in sleep, comforter wrapped around your shoulders and legs sprawled out. He let out a soft sigh, his feet slowly padding to your bed, nudging your shoulder when he was close, softly whispering - scoot over - before slipping under the covers as you created space for him, observing the crease of your eyebrows as you moved, the little pout of your lips, and the twitch of your nose as you slept. This is what he wanted to see every morning for the rest of his life. You.
He let out an exasperated sigh, putting his phone down to stare at the blank canvas again.
“Fuck!” He exclaimed, quickly grabbing some paint and squirting red, yellow, blue and white to his pallet. Not even noticing the joint he’d left last time he was in this room on the side table as inspiration finally struck.
—
“Dieter!” You call out as you open his front door being met with silence as you make your journey further into the darkened foyer, “I got those tacos you like!” Trying to coax him out of wherever it is he’s hiding.
You’re certain he’s changed his mind on the deal you’d made. It’s been weeks since you heard from him, past the three month mark now and the only reason you’re here is because he hasn’t been answering his phone and worry was getting the better of you.
“Dee?” You try again, flipping lights on in each room you pass until you come to the kitchen, “This isn’t funny dude.” You shout, setting the bag of food on the counter before going in search of him.
Making your way deeper into his home, you notice a light shining from under the door to Dieter’s studio. You can hear movement on the other side of the door.
“Dieter?” You ask hesitantly, tapping the tips of your fingers against the door. “You in there?”
You hear a groan before distinctly hearing something plunk to the ground. Taking a deep breath, you push the door open to see Dieter lying on the floor in front of a blank canvas. Paint is splattered all over the place, his paint brushes skewed about, and a cup he kept close by lies on the floor, surrounded by a murky puddle of paint-infused water.
“Dieter,” you hesitate, approaching his still form. “Hey, man. Get up,” your foot reaching to kick against his leg lightly. His speech is slurred as he grumbles, something you can’t decipher. Well - at least he’s still breathing, you think, furrowing your brow.
“Come on, Dee.” You sigh, feeling defeated. Hunched over his form, “Let’s get you to bed.”
“No,” he murmurs as you turn him flat on his back. “Stay here,” he groans out, eyes tightly squeezed shut like a toddler who just got woken up from his nap, reaching his arms out towards you, waving them in the air until his hand makes contact with your arm. Dieter moves on his side pulling you down with him, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and the other around your waist, a satisfied hum leaving his chest.
“Dieter,” you let out an annoyed huff, “This is great and all, but uh- why the fuck are we on the floor?”
“Sleep,” he murmurs into your hair.
“I am not sleeping on the floor.”
“Shut up,” Dieter whines, tangling his legs with your own. “I want sleep.”
You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head against his chest as he holds you against him. His breathing calms as you lay there in silence on the floor of his little studio, wondering what it might have been that he took this time.
“I made it,” Dieter huffs against your hairline. As if the thoughts in your head were seeping through like osmosis into his brain. “Three months. No drugs, no booze, no sex.”
Your head tilts up, eyeing him suspiciously.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?” he grins, bleary eyes raking across the features of your face.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Bravo.” You give a teasing glare. “So you really made it three months?”
“Mhm,” Dieter hums with a shit-eating grin. “Bet you didn’t see that happening.”
“No, I did not.” You comment, quirking your brow.
“I need to…” Dieter pauses, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, “I need to show you something.”
He gently moves you away, propping himself up to stand. “Ew,” he fusses, looking down at his soaked sock standing in the murky puddle of water. “Why’d you let us lay so close to that?!”
You scoff, rolling your eyes, giving him a pointed look.
“Right.” Dieter says bashfully, extending his hands to you, “Come on.”
Dieter gently pulls you to stand with him before taking a deep breath and leading you to the spot, the place he always puts his latest project to admire and contemplate, on the wall.
“So, I realized something during this three month stint.” He starts, clearing his throat before continuing. “I uh… Well…” he steps forward, turning on the singular light above the darkened spot on the wall, revealing a painting of you.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, shocked that this is what Dieter has been working on. A galaxy seeping into a meadow surrounding your face. The blues and purples of the galaxy blend in beautifully with greens and yellows of the meadow. The expression of your face stunning against the canvas. Is this how Dieter sees you?
“I’ve been working on this for weeks now.” Dieter mumbles shyly, scratching the back of his head, “I don’t know how to do this or how to make you believe me but…” he pauses, taking in a deep breath, “I love you.”
“Dee,” you murmur, taken aback by his confession, surging forward, wrapping your arms around his neck, one hand gripping the back of his neck to bring his lips to your own in a desperate kiss. Your fingers weave through his hair, gripping him to you tighter, sweeping your tongue against the seam of his lips he opens his mouth to let you in.
Your mouth trails down his jaw to his neck. “A- and not just like a friend but more than that. I know you’re probably gonna be all Dieter, you didn’t stick to the deal but I swear I did.” He hisses as the pulse in his neck thrums wildly against your lips, “I just-“ he gasps, feeling you lovingly bite against his pulse point, arms wrapping around your waist in a tight grip, “You initiated the bet - for me to get sober, and then I did. All these years I was doing all that shit to try and drown the noises inside my head but they aren’t so loud once I actually hear what they’re saying and the main thing they’re saying now is I’m an idiot for not being honest with you.”
“Dieter,” you let out an annoyed huff, looking into his melancholy russet eyes, “I love you too, okay? Now shut up.”
“Amazing,” he breathes out with a dopey grin, leaning forward to meet your lips again. You groan as his tongue slips between your lips, exploring your mouth with fervor. He guides you backward until the desk that sits in his studio bumps the back of your thighs. His hands glide down, cupping the back of your thighs, lifting you on top of the desk.
“Fuck,” you yelp, letting out a breathless laugh as his lips meet yours. Your hands reach for the bottom of his shirt, slipping underneath to feel the warmth of his skin against your palm.
“I love you,” Dieter breathes against your jaw, lips trailing down to your neck, “So fucking much.”
“Love you too,” you moan, bunching the shirt he’s wearing up his torso. He breaks away, letting you sweep it off him with a toss to the floor. Dieter grins, tugging your shirt off, reaching behind your back to undo the clasp of your bra with one hand, slipping the thin material off your shoulders to expose your chest to him.
“Nice,” Dieter hums, massaging your tits in his hands, brushing his thumbs across your nipples, “Always wondered what these bad boys looked like underneath.”
“Fucking christ,” you huff, rolling your eyes, “So fucking weird.”
He smiles devilishly before nipping your pert nipple gently, sucking it into his warm mouth, swirling his tongue around it. You let out a soft moan, feeling the ache between your thighs become more persistent. Fingers carding through the soft, wavy curls on his head, pushing at his shoulders.
“Off, " you demand as your hands grip the waistband of his pants, trying to push them down, “Off.”
“Easy,” Dieter smiles, slowly pushing his pants down, cock springing free and standing proudly.
“Fuck me,” you whisper in shock, taking in the sight of his length. Thick and long. You had a good idea, considering how many mornings you’d woken up with the thing poking you in the ass, but to see it hanging heavily between his thighs was monumental. He grunts when your hand reaches to touch him, squeezing him firmly at the base.
“Your turn,” Dieter hissed, grabbing your leggings. You let go of him, helping to lift your hips as he quickly tugged them down your legs. “Fuck me,” he utters, taking in the dark patch of your underwear, his hands rubbing up your thighs, teasing the soft skin of your inner thigh.
“Dieter,” you gasp, gripping his bicep, his thumb making tight circles around your clit against the cotton of your underwear. He hums, laving his tongue against your collarbone, licking a line up your throat as his fingers push the gusset of your panties to the side.
“Fuck,” Dieter pants, feeling the wetness between your folds. His fingers sliding up and down your seam, coating his fingers in your slick, teasing your entrance with the tips of two thick fingers.
“Dee,” you whine, breath hitching as your hips squirm on top of the desk when he pushes his fingers in torturously slow. “I need more.”
“You’ll get more,” he rasps, his fingers continuing their slow movements. In and out. In and out. In and out. His thumb moves to that bundle of nerves, alternating between sweeping back and forth and drawing firm circles around your clit.
You feel the pool of arousal building at the end of your spine, warmth spreading through your limbs like a wildfire. Your breath quickens as your walls tighten around his digits.
“Oh god,” you moan, gripping his bicep firmer, “Fuck. Dieter, you’re gonna make me come.”
“Come for me, baby.” He whispers against your ear. Fingers scrubbing against your walls faster, deeper until they hit that spot inside that feels impossible to reach on your own.
“Oh fuck!” You cry out, throwing your head back as the flames within consume you whole. Your back arching, pushing your chest against his, “Dieter,” you whimper, head resting against his shoulder as his fingers work you through your orgasm.
He scoops you up, flipping you over his shoulder, carrying you out the door of his studio, down the hall to his room.
“Dieter!” You shriek, giggling knowing he must be a sight to see right now. His heavy member bouncing between his thighs as he marches with you over his shoulder. “What about your back?!” You ask, grinning, taking notice of the walls of his room.
“Don’t fucking care,” he says, flipping you onto his bed, pushing your legs apart, creating space for him between your thighs. He crawls up the length of your body, arms resting on either side of your head. His cock pressing against your thigh, realizing what is to come next. “You sure you wanna do this?” He asks, his lips barely touching your own, breathing each other in, causing a dizzying arousal to pool in your tummy.
“Yes,” you breathe, hands trailing up the expanse of his back, gripping his shoulders. He grips his shaft; a breathy moan escapes you as he slowly strokes your seam with his tip. “Dieter,” you plead, nails creating half-crescent moons into his shoulders when his tip catches on your entrance.
“I got you,” he croaks, repeating himself as he pushes in, “I got you.”
“Oh fuck,” you gasp, feeling your walls make space for him inside your warmth. He lets out a hiss as your nails dig deeper into the skin of his shoulders, definitely leaving marks he’ll see tomorrow.
“Oh my god,” Dieter groans, his head coming to the crook of your neck, pushing his cock in deeper until you can’t decipher where you begin and he ends. You moan, feeling so incredibly full. You never knew sex could feel like this, and it’s barely even started. He holds still, allowing both of you to get used to the feeling of one another.
“Dieter,” you pant, squirming against him, “I need you to move.”
“Fuck me.” He grunts, feeling your walls clench around him. He slowly pulls out before thrusting back into your heat, his hips creating a slow, deep rhythm. “You’re so fucking perfect.” he whimpers, tongue flicking across your sternum. “So,” thrust, “fucking,” thrust, “perfect.” thrust. You release a broken moan into the room, the sound of skin slapping filling the air around the both of you.
“Harder,” you beg, “Dee, please. Harder.”
He releases a shattered breath, sliding one hand down your side and around your hip, bringing your leg up to rest against his ribs before snapping his hips into you.
“Dieter!” You scream out, back bowing off his bed. It feels so intense. His cock shredding up into you at this angle, hitting that spot perfectly just like his fingers. Your muscles begin to tense, thighs shaking as he continues thrusting into you at a frenzied pace.
“I’m not gonna last long,” Dieter admits, sitting up on his knees, grabbing your ankle to place your leg against his shoulder, staring down at you, watching your tits bounce with every firm thrust he gives you. “So fucking hot,” he groans, his hand sliding down your leg to your center. You let out a ragged moan as his fingers lightly pinch and pull your bundle of nerves, the impending wave of your orgasm getting closer and closer. “Need you to come, baby.” he all but begs, the muscles in his stomach tensing, trying to stave off his own orgasm, “I’m so fucking close.”
“I’m close,” you pant, nodding your head, “So fucking close. Kiss me.”
Dieter wraps your leg around his waist, collapsing on top of you, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss. The band in your stomach tightens more as your tongues massage one another, your walls fluttering around his cock, beginning to milk him for all he’s worth.
“Fuck,” Dieter whines, hips stuttering, feeling him pulsate inside of you, painting his come against your inner walls, pushing you over the cliffs edge as your pussy squeezes around him tighter. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” He whimpers, slumping against you, head resting between your breasts, trying to catch your breath.
“That was the best sex I’ve ever had,” Dieter murmurs against your sternum, placing a chaste kiss before peering up at you. “Worth the wait,” he adds with a wink.
“Was pretty good, Bravo,” you sigh with a nod. He lets out a hiss as you clench around him.
“Stop that,” he says, pulling out with a groan and flopping beside you on the bed, lying on his side, arm propping up his head, facing you. “Ya know, I really wasn’t looking forward to the whole being sober thing.” He admits, with a mock frown, “But it isn’t that bad.” he adds with a shrug.
“No, it’s not,” you laugh softly.
“I thought it would be worse than it was, but I kinda like it,” Dieter smiles, hovering over you, “Especially since it led to this.” He places a kiss against the corner of your smiling mouth, “And if I stay sober… will this keep happening?” He asks in a whisper, hesitantly awaiting your response.
“Dee,” you hum, “You got me. Just gotta take it day by day.”
#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x f!reader#dieter bravo x female!reader#get dieter sober challenge#getdietersober#get dieter sober#bitchesuntitled#dieter bravo smut#dieter bravo fanfic
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I saw you were doing small requests if we proved we voted for Hassan/Mikey, so here's my proof! I was wondering if you could do something with Leo, since we don't see nearly enough Leo x readers out there. I was thinking maybe a best-friends to lovers thing where they keep trying to one up each other with playful flirtation, but it becomes real in the end, followed by a confession and a kiss? Xxx
Writing Request: Reader x Leo First Kiss 😘
Thank you kindly for doing your part! I hope you're enjoying all the content and please tell your friends! Let's push back in this comp!
From now until the poll closes, if you can prove to me that you voted Hassan/Mikey in this poll then I will do any short story writing request like the one below or draw you any doodle of your choosing!
ᴰᶦˢᶜˡᵃᶦᵐᵉʳ: ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶦⁿ ᵃⁿʸʷᵃʸ ᵃˢˢᵒᶜᶦᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵒʳ ᵉⁿᵈᵒʳˢᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵉᵗᶦᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵒʳ ᶦᵗˢ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉˢᵗᵃⁿᵗˢ.
We got some cutie all ages fluff down here, folks!
"And that's when you go in for the kiss!"
Leo had a fist to his lip's and nodded as if this conversation was of the utmost importance.
The random man in question who had approached you while you were hanging out with your best friend was none the wiser. You weren't sure where he had come from, but had interjected himself into your conversation without warning. He had some ripe opinions on romance that apparently couldn't wait for people he knew. Instead of running, Leo had been prompting him for the sake of it and sending you more and more exaggerated looks each time the man looked away.
"What about consent?" Leo asked.
The man reared for a moment before he thought which part. "At which part? We haven't gotten past first base."
"You gotta ask if you're going to kiss someone." Leo spoke with a firmness that you read as genuine.
"The mood!"
"Don't start." Leo shook his head.
"It ruins the mood." The man insisted.
"It does not." Leo waved him off for the first time.
"It does! You think your lady friend is going to still wanna smooch after you interrupt leaning in to ask permission!? That's not manly!"
"Manly, huh?" Leo's mask quirked with his brow. "Also, just lady friends?"
He glanced at you.
You chewed your lip and glanced away to not laugh.
"Ah, man friend, lady friend. Whatever friend! It doesn't matter!" The man huffed. "It's all the same in the eyes of love."
"Consent is hot, that's all I'm saying." Leo shrugged.
"Ah!" The man grunted and turned. "You don't get it! Oh! I bet they do!"
You both watched as the man jogged off at the next unsuspecting group of people.
"Well then!" Leo put his hands on his hips. "I never!"
He held the haughty pose until a giggle finally broke free from you and he slumped to your side.
"That was something." You told him.
"You know I really like conversations like that." Leo stuck a leg out to walk.
You followed his lead with solider-like attention. "Yeah? Seemed a bit like you were teasing him."
"Me!?" He gaped sarcastically at you before his features went lackadaisical. "Making something a gag is second nature. I really do I swear."
You thought for moment. "Okay... Why?"
"Why?" He digested the question and looked up at the buildings. "Let's see. People are interesting. They've got all these opinions and they're wild! Everyone is so different and they'll try to ask these questions about you, but they don't really want to know, but I do. Like I already know me; I want to know about them!"
It gave you pause and you thought back. In all the time you had known Leo, he had been like that. If you ever asked him something as simple as his favorite color, he would somehow turn the conversation around on you until you were matching shades in some sun room that you were going to retire in.
He made you feel like the center of the world and you loved him for it. He was bright and whip smart, but he also had an undeniable loneliness. He never let it get to him, but it made you want to get closer. You pushed to get his number after meeting him. You made sure to text him if a little too much time had gone by. You made future plans with him always included.
You became the best of friends before you even knew it.
Leo said yes to pretty much everything, even when his schedule was packed. it was his eagerness of companionship and just that he was generally a good friend, even if you found yourself mortified around him often. His wit and penchant for a bit meant that if you said the slightest thing wrong that he would hone in on it. It was further sharpened to a knife having had three brothers and because of it you had built a repertoire of inside jokes.
He was special and even just taking a walk with him on a day like today would be a highlight of your week.
"I see it." You eventually said.
"What'dyou think?"
"About what?" You glanced at him and the way the sunlight played on his barely shielded green skin.
"His pitch! That love guru's plan of attack. How to woo your lady, not lady friend."
A smile played on your lips. "Set the mood. Sure, that's good, but when's a mood, right? That's always a question."
"Exacty!" Leo threw a demonstrating hand to you. "Like is it being alone. We're alone right now?"
"Not really a mood?" You looked around.
"Should it be dark? They say those steak houses have romantic lightening when you can't even tell which fork your grabbing."
You laughed knowing what he'd say next.
"I'm telling you!" He pressed with the same knowledge. "They do it so they can give you lower cuts! That's why I always bust out the ole phone flashlight!"
"They do not!"
"I swear I ordered a rib eye but they served me flank. Flank!"
"The horror!"
"But yeah, okay so not the lights."
"Because I totally confirmed that."
"Okay, come here then."
You did so without hesitation.
"Okay, let me just..." He reached behind him to tug his hoodie off.
You watched on.
His chin caught. "Hold on." He squirmed to pull one arm through. "Hold!" It got trapped against the points of his plastron. "Wait, Wait!" His head disappeared down into the hole and you watched the blue fabric writhe.
There was no way he could see you, but when your hand came up to help he immediately scolded.
"Don't you dare! I've got this!"
You weren't sure if it was a bit or not, but that was Leo and he was nothing if not amusing.
"I got it!" In one hands to the ceiling move, his hoodie came off. "Check it!"
He flexed in his average looking t-shirt. "Very attractive."
"Thank you!" He told you with a point of his beak. "Alright, now cloud cover..."
He waved you over to a wall and you followed.
He looked you over a few times before he caged you in so he could hold the hoodie above both of you to block the light.
You stared at his red stripes in their proximity.
"Dark, how are we feeling?"
"Not really a mood."
"It's not a mood!" He cracked a grin. "We're already at the next factor."
"Oh?"
"Closeness. He said that thing about how both people realize they're a little too close and kissing is inevitable."
"Cause if that was true we would have kissed a bunch of times."
"Right?!" Leo clucked. "The Twister incident? That time I hit you with that little trashcan. Oh, oh! When you were demonstrating the banana thing and actually fell."
"That middle one..." You narrowed your eyes.
"An accident, I swear." He looked dire.
"I still think the banana was cause of the floor."
"Sure." Leo drew out the word.
You pinched the tail end of one of his stripes which also happened to be his cheeks.
He smiled all the more. "Alright then. Is that it? We've eliminated everything. Total bunk. That guy doesn't knowing a thing about romance."
"Yeah! Moods? Like what even is that?"
"Like cuddling on the couch?" Leo gagged.
"Running through the rain?" You added.
"Yeah, because I totally want to make out when I'm soggy!" His eyes rolled.
"Your clothes stick together!"
"You have to peel apart!" He shuddered and the hoodie shook as your umbrella.
You reached up on instinct to steady it right as one of the sleeves fell.
"Nice catch."
"Call me champ."
"No, I'm champ."
"You're champion."
"Your champion?" His mask waggled with his brow ridge.
"You can't count that! It was a bet."
"Oh yeah, what was last week when I got you that ice cream?"
"I was trying to be nice to you."
"Only trying?"
"You make it so easy."
"I do. I'm a great guy. Amazing friend. Easy on the eyes."
"The face of disaster. Person I would vote least likely to make a typo in front of because he will never let you live it down."
"I give you my life and my time!" He bemoaned.
"And I appreciate it."
He gave you his best puppy dog eyes. "Do you? You're just saying that. You totally said you were just saying that."
"No, you're the light of my life."
"In that voice? Maybe I'm the light from one of those nightlights that are automatic, like the kind that turn off as soon as you turn the real lights on."
You squared yourself and looked straight into his eyes.
He startled and gave you owlish attention.
"Leonardo Hamato. You are the most important thing to me. You appeared in my life and I made sure you were part of it and at some point you became someone I can't live without."
"Oh." The vowel popped out dull.
You were flooded with a wave of worry.
Had that been too much?
It was true.
You cared about Leo.
He made you laugh.
He made you smile.
He made you a priority.
You did the same with him.
It must have been all the romance talk.
He might have misconstrued the whole thing.
Certainly none of that meant anything more.
With the steam still trapped in your cheeks you met his eye.
He was staring the same intensity.
You shared it a little coy before you decided to face it head on.
You set your jaw and returned the full brunt of your certainty in the matter.
He blinked a single time. "Wanna make out?"
Your eyes went as wide as they could.
"Wait, that came out wrong!"
"Are you kidding me!?" You squawked.
"I said it was wrong! Let me-!"
"That's your idea of consent?!" You tugged the hoodie down.
Since he had his own hold on the fabric it pulled his arm.
Which pulled his shoulder.
Which pulled him closer.
You were inches away. "That guy was right! It does ruin a mood! 'Wanna make out?' Leo, what-?!"
He dropped a little lower and your heart spasmed.
He dipped down so he could look up at you through his lashes.
His gaze liquefied your insides on contact.
He held your gaze for a few calculated moments before he leaned up enough that the heat of his breath warmed your lips.
"I'm sorry. I meant, may I have the pleasure in kissing you?"
You closed the gap.
The hoodie dropped down around you for privacy.
You lost your vision and for a moment it was just you and him.
A tiny version of the world that you didn't mind.
Then, you parted.
Within the confines you heard the smack and felt the way your mouths were both open and ready for another.
"Like..." Leo licked his lips audibly. "Like that. You do it like that."
"If you tell me that was a bit I'm never talking to you again." You whined without an ounce of heat.
"I swear... Kiss on it?"
You tugged him right back to you and he smirked against you.
#me#fanfiction#my fanfiction#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt x reader#rise leo#Leonardo Hamato#rottmnt leo x reader#leo x reader#rise leo x reader#rottmnt Leonardo#rottmnt leo#rally until the tally#request#writing request#requests open
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I'm going to say something most people are not going to see this but I feel like getting it out there anyways
The nonhuman identity is not one exact thing. Never has and never will be. It is so different for every single person.
Some nonhumans might not consider a single part of them humans, while some might consider that they do have a human body, but it feels like they are an animal inside.
It will never be one thing. That is why trying to make a definition is causing much more harm then good.
And I completely believe that with my whole heart. Saying that a nohuman is anyone who doesn't identify as a human is hurtful to nonhumans who identify partly as a human.
Just like saying a nonhuman is a human who feels like an animal inside can harm nonhumans who just are creatures.
Saying that a nonhuman is one definite thing is harming everyone in the community.
Yes I understand that a definition can help humans understand nonhumans and can help change hurtful mindsets some people have. But at the same time it is not going to help our community if we are actively harming folks in the community.
One great way to talk to someone about your nonhuman identity is to just talk about YOUR nonhuman identity. Don't speak for all in fact make sure you say that not all nonhumans think this way.
It is so important if you want the nonhuman identity to be normalized to not harm any creature in our community.
Also I just want to say that so far of all nonhuman online spaces I've been on tumbler is the best. It is so inviting and helped me to truly understand my own nonhuman identity after being told everywhere else that I was wrong for genuinely identifying as an animal.
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exactly! and it's like...
A) just because they portrayed caitvi and jayce/mel (and even ekko/jinx) in a very traditionally romantic way (kissing/sex/etc) doesn't mean they have to do that w every relationship! different strokes for different folks! i immediately registered the forehead touch they did as a romantic gesture bc it's something me and my boyfriend do in place of kissing all the time, and we've been in a romantic relationship for 6 years. unpopular opinion maybe, but i was kind of glad they didn't kiss, because i thought what did happen was so much more intimate and meaningful for their dynamic, romantic or otherwise.
B) i feel like there'd be a lot less people arguing against the viktor and mel parallels if viktor was a woman. (knowing how this fandom often operates, a lot of them would probably be jumping to push it over jayce/mel bc racism.) nobody with sense is denying that jayce and mel were in love and important parts of each other's story, but you can't deny that making 1-to-1 explicit parallels of jayce's girlfriend and his partner makes that "partner" sound less professional and more romantic every time
C) did i just like. hallucinate way back when s1 dropped and league players were excitedly informing new fans of the jayvik divorce dynamic. did i just imagine the handful of times official league/arcane accounts have joked about these two being together. even if you don't think it's meant to be canonically romantic, the idea of it is nothing new, and they're clearly not against that interpretation at all so???
it's like ppl took that "he's like my brother" line from 1x6 and ran w it as the gospel truth despite the fact that like. i know several queer people who misinterpreted their feelings for another person as familial because they didn't fully understand/accept their identity yet and it was the only way they could justify feeling so close to another person that society didn't expect them to be romantically interested in. hell, i myself have done that! yes it sometimes absolutely can be true, some characters ARE meant to come off with a sibling sort of dynamic (dare i say cait and jayce), but sometimes it's also just short-hand for "closer than best friends in a way we can't get into rn".
like. again. if u wanna read these 2 as cishet bros then whatever, live ur life girl. love that for u. but i do not understand
"the arcane fandom will never understand brotherly love..." my brother in christ i am the middle child. i have not had a waking moment where i wasn't intimately aware of platonic/sibling affection and how it functions. those motherfuckers were GAY
#i'm going insane#i'm so sorry to all my mutuals who don't gaf abt arcane LMAO#self reblog#arcane spoilers#fav#cship
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Baptize me with new names so I can exist
Myrsini Gkana - I have other things I love too
#Yeah this poetry collection destroyed me#so many poems fit VP so I decided to create a little post about it#tbh this one could fit their NC scene too but there's no dialogue so it would be a little tricky to find the correct gifs#I wish I knew how to create gifs that have quotes on them like so many lovely people have done for the fandom#but I don't so this is the best I can do folks#it was very important to me that Pete's sigh was included here#vital addition I'm telling you#anyway#there are a LOT of poems in that collection so maybe I'll make another one#hope I get the brainworms for it#vegaspete#gifset
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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The Cass Review coming out and the media frenzy surrounding it makes it feel like the world is falling apart around us. I'm very fortunate to live outside the UK at the moment, but my heart goes out to the trans people that are facing these current circumstances. It feels like the US will follow soon, and the rug will be pulled out from under us at any point.
How do we survive? How do I know if my friends will be okay? What if I fully transition just to be persecuted for the rest of my life? What will happen to us?
It's terrifying out here right now - if you have any advice on how you handle any of it, it would be greatly appreciated.
- a young trans person
I think so much of this relies on community support - you won't be alone in this, so you shouldn't live life alone in this. Regardless of potential intracommunity bickering, regardless of if we perfectly get along, no matter if someone passes or not, or has a complex identity or not, we all are affected by transphobia. We have to be in it together, to fight and support together.
Nobody knows, truly, what the next few years or decades are in store for us so, frankly, I think we invest as much as possible for the future, but also try to live. You don't just deserve to survive, you deserve to thrive. So whatever you do, I hope you're able to pause for even the briefest of moments. I hope you eat well, I hope you smile genuinely, I hope you laugh, I hope you dance. Fear and stress will literally kill you. I know for me, the stress I felt pre-transition absolutely would have killed me eventually - I don't wish that on anyone. It's absolutely reasonable to be scared about the future, I'm not saying it's not, but what I am saying is that you deserve a break. You deserve hope.
From a (perhaps slightly) older trans person: It can absolutely get better. Those tiny glimmers of hope that you cling to like diamonds won't be so few and far between. That sounds like absolute bullshit when you're on the receiving end of this, and I know that because I've been in that position, but something else that helps me through those "negative" feelings is this:
We survive. We have always survived. We have lost an unconscionable amount of people, but they won't be forgotten. No matter what happens, we keep surviving. The world cannot leave us behind without leaving behind swaths of humanity because we belong in the fabric of society. And something about that reassures me, because it is a reminder that we have existed and will continue to exist. And that means that we will outlive the hatred.
You're going to survive with us. In fact, I think you can thrive and not just survive, and I think that's something that doesn't happen in spite of the 'phobes, but rather it happens because you are an inherent equal person who is entitled to happiness.
#ask#anon#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#whatever action you can reasonably take in your position or country is worth pursuing as well...#...such as things like protest but it's also a nuanced subject in that...#...you might not be /able/ to do some of that stuff and frankly i don't think it's always the best option for some folks...#...so i tend to try to also emphasize how important you as an individual *and* the broader community are#because you have inherent worth regardless of what you contribute. your worth never depends on Proving Your Worth
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I have finally FINALLY got up to the dream scene at the start of the last mabelcorn in kmky and everything is flowing nicely finally, and the scenes and characterisation all are smooth and make sense and I am no longer going over the same establishing scenes like a pedant trying to make them perfect. SUCCESS!
Just have to knock out these next few bits then it's onto unicorn beatdowns, funny hats, pizza parties and loophole heists!
#i am so relieved#i feel a lot happier writing now that im happy with those establishing scenes#they didnt pan out how i originally planned but i think theyre better for it#i kept wanting to make bill and py fight but thats just not what they want to do#and das flavor pups have downgraded themselves from terrifying imposition to mild annoyance with potential for drama down the line#but these things will make everything else make better sense so i dont mind the bits i scrapped#now im cackling to myself writing out the dream scene and yes it will diverge slightly from how it panned out in the show!#because why the hell not#i also have been inundated with ideas for a sequel so im steadily noting down dialogue lines and ideas i want to see#and hopefully i stay on task and don't get too distracted by sequel daydreams#it'll be good tho when it gets there i promise you that#a true healing narrative that doesnt rely on punitive justice and creates a positive outcome without repeating codependant patterns#that we see so often in billford#yes love redeems but love for yourself is important in redeption arcs too and knowing that you can make something good with your own hands#is just the game changer i want to bring to the billford fandom#but anyway thats for later for now im back in action and hopefully on track for finishing the chapter by the end of the month#fingers crossed buds#I'm doing my best so all the folks needing a pick me up after world events get something fun to look forward to#kmky#knowing me knowing you
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Of all the things to give me a scare on Halloween, I really didn't expect My Boss to be one of them 😫😫😫
#my guy. mr. higher up. sir. I AM WAITING AS FAST AS I CAN#WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME#THE GROUP TASKED WITH DOING THE THING... ARE COMPLETELY RESTRUCTURING. TODAY.#AN EMERGENCY ON YOUR TIME IS NOT A RUSH ON THEIRS. WE ARE JUST ONE OF SEVERAL FOLKS THEY SERVICE.#WHY. ARE. YOU. YELLING. AT. ME.#my guy. this thing you've been needing. you've been needing it Forever. a year and a half already. you can wait another fucking week!!!!#but no. i'm the one who's going to get all of the ire and rage just because you can't temper your expectations#sorry bucko. sometimes bueraucracy? moves at bureaucratic speeds.#i. don't.#know what.#to fucking.#tell you.#uu gggg hhhhhhh sorry tumblr friends im just.#this job is the best sometimes and the worst sometimes. i s2g.#i miss my old boss So Goddamned Much
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Growing up is realizing you don't hate shipping, you just really wish the execution of it was less amatonormative
#hot aro shit#actually aromantic#romance repulsed#amatonormativity#like. I roll my eyes at ship culture for the most part. but it really isn't the ships themselves. it's just how weird ppl are about it..#a lot of folks will pair everyone. e v e r y o n e. and it's like.. in doing so they just kinda mix and match who 'works best' with who-#without really considering if they would partner with anyone in the first place. like. ppl are nonpartnering for a number of reasons#besides being aspec or adjacent. it's just weird assuming everyone would get with someone when single ppl exist!#and the way a lot of shipping is set up.. it feels like they're lopping chunks of the characters off. mangling them beyond recognition-#just to fit them into these specific dynamics. specifically romantic tropes. instead of embracing tropes that compliment the character-#and preserve the integrity if you are truly utilizing these characters. and look. I get the appeal of shipping. it's fun to mash characters-#together like dolls and set up these stories with them. but if you have to fundamentally erase every unique aspect of them for it-#or ignore large chunks of what makes them who they are in the first place? are you really shipping those characters? or are you making them-#original characters with the names and faces of your favorites?#pairing everybody is also just incredibly lazy lmfao. like. ignoring the fact nonpartnering ppl (both aspec and otherwise) exist..#you're barring yourself from exploring narratives you otherwise would be able to expand upon with characters- that sometimes-#matches don't really work out. or the pressure to find someone when no one 'fits.' abuse victims relearning who they are outside-#of what they bring to the relationships in their day to day lives. friendships that defy the idea romance is the strongest love.#deconstructing the idea of love being something everyone needs. like. you cannot execute that when you pair everyone!#anyways. ship what you ship. idc. but please be mindful of how harmful the ideas you're pushing can be.
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I mean this in the most affectionate way possible, of course.
But hey, that's okay! Somebody has to keep the people in Geneva busy😂
#nothing to see here folks#just America's psychotic hat doing what they do best😂#anybody remember those ''99 Things I am Not Allowed to Do'' lists that were popular back in the day?#well this is Canada's#proposed alternate title for the Geneva conventions: List of Things Canada isn't Allowed to do Anymore#maybe they're born with it‚ maybe they're a war criminal🤣#(I had to modify it‚ but shoutout to anna-pineappel for the original one with the word 'she')#to quote HLC: ''When the sorry stops‚ the war crimes start.''#can you imagine if it didn't‚ tho?#just imagine brutally stabbing someone and then being like‚ ''Oh sorry.''#that would be awkward lol#side note: I'm so glad I saved this as a draft first instead of posting it right away#bc I was making my tags VERY late at night#and when I opened this one of my words was spelled wrong#I also had put something I don't even remember typing🤦🏻♀️#this is why the combination of late nights exhaustion and writing do not pair well together#sorry for the tag rant#as always‚ it will happen again😂#spongebob squarepants#spongebob meme#my ramblings#random fun
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