#but I do wonder sometimes when do I reach my limit

[biibini]

hello!! i reaally really love your writing i reread ur mizu fics all the time i swear i have them memorized HAHA i love the way u characterize her she is so dear to me

ive never requested anything before but i was wondering if you could write something about the pet names that mizu and reader would use ?!?! i think they are so sweet ...

my little pet ₊˚ෆ

pet names modern!mizu would give you

tags: sweet mizu, nsfw later on, modern!mizu headcannons, mdni, 18+, pet names, praising, degrading tones, smut, reader is gorjus!!

a/n: and what if i called her my shayla? who gonna stop me??? ok but fr ty everyone for sending reqs and ur love ♡ i appreciate each response, rt, and comment sm mwah mwah mwah

honey

“Hi honey, how was your day?”

the typical form of endearment Mizu uses to call your name

if she’s feeling playful, she’ll say “honey, i’m homeeee” in a sing-songy voice

when she calls you this and sees your face, she smiles everytime

(she can’t help it i fear)

my pretty girl

“God, my pretty girl looks so cute.”

emphasis on the “my”

nothing in her eyes is as gorgeous as you

(she is very gorjus to me 🤓☝️)

typically used to compliment you, especially during dates

when you finish doing your makeup, she can’t stop staring at you, mumbling how well done your work is

the words can be paired with your hand intertwined with hers, the pet name gently whispered into your ear

the name can also be heard when you’re feeling hesitant about yourself, as she tries to relieve you of your doubts

sweetie

“Sweetie, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

typically used when talking to you in disagreements

also used when in concern for some cases

or sarcastically, if she were to push your buttons

not commonly thrown out there (buttttt i’m a big fan of it bc she can get sassy w it)

dear

“Good night dear…”

a favorite of hers

simple but sweet

usually said before placing a good night kiss atop of your lips, her hands wrapped around your body, loving every bit of you until you fall asleep

if not at night, the term is used to call you over or to get your attention

either way, she uses it very lovingly

girl

“Girl if you don’t—”

unfortunately, akemi & ringo’s lingo rubs off on you two a bit… and they can get kinda… rambunctious and witty when it comes to comebacks

usually, this pet name (if u can even call it that) is used in a teasing setting

or if you accidentally give her the wrong directions

or push her buttons in a grumpy mood

or if you bother her to the point of her snapping, ending with her tickling you until you admit defeat

i fear the silent but sassy side comes out at times when she uses this name

dearest

“Dearest, can you please fetch me a cup of freshly brewed tea?”

both of you use this jokingly

and of course, in a british accent

usually used when asking a favor or in a silly mood

the one answering must respond back in their best british accent

and mizu is lowk good with it

too good at it…

baby

“You like it like that, baby?”

when she feels more romantic and intimate, ohhhh this one WILL be used

especially in that low, deep voice when she’s really into it

a banger when y’all ban-

(oops my hand slipped)

or when she got that morning, groggy voice when she’s half away and cuddly

either way, great usage

hon

“Fuck, hon—”

a variation of “honey” that is typically used during the uh… later parts of the night

(nudge nudge wink wink)

most commonly used when she’s overwhelmed with the pleasure, slipping and forgetting her words

or when your grasp on her shoulder frantically tightens, pulling her body closer to yours while you reach your limit

or when she looks down at the sopping wet mess you two made on your lower half

sometimes, the term becomes an incentive, paired along with a rough smack or hickey on your neck

princess

“Aw princess, you want it deeper, don’t you.”

oh this one… this one is a mean one…

at times, she can be quite dominant and persistent

it may not seem like she’s degrading you, but the fakeness of her sweet tone proves otherwise

paired with her long, deep strokes, you would think you were going to ascend from the pleasure

but all you can do is nod, having little control of your moans as she rams deep inside your wet cavern

she cracks a smile at your failed attempts at answering back to her, hearing the shakiness of your voice mix with the wet noises erupting from her work

[merigoldaround]

Sometimes I have thoughts about my experience in the writing community, or about the struggles with writing etc, but I don't really know if there really is a safe space to share them.

[nebulaafterdark]

Marry Me

Summary : Rhaenyra’s daughter is off limits, but Aegon won’t allow her to marry anyone else. Based off this request.

Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon (Strong)!Reader

Princess Y/N Velaryon is easily the most beautiful woman to grace the seven kingdoms, by all counts of every Lord and Lady.

Alicent reminds her son often, “she cannot speak. There is more to it than the King lets on and we’ve no way of knowing if the same condition will be present in her heirs.”

“Y/N has plenty to say, to those who will listen.” She does not speak with her voice, but through written word, through her eyes, her laugh and her smile.

“I’ve said no.” Alicent snaps, “it is out of the question.” She slams his chamber door shut behind her.

Still Aegon makes it a point to check in with the Princess, to be kind. Even if they cannot marry, surely they can be friends.

This day, she is nose deep in a book when Aegon spots her in the gardens. “What book is that now?” He asks.

Y/N smiles, lifting the bound pages to present the spine.

“A Tale Of Two…” He cocks his head to the side to make out the rest of the title, “Dragons.“

She nods.

“Is it any good?” Aegon wonders, taking a seat beside her in the grass.

Y/N slides the open page into his lap, pointing to a passage on the left.

“A love story,” he realizes.

Y/N stares down at her hands.

Aegon taps a finger to her chin, “you should write a book.”

She shakes her head.

“I would read it.” He tells her truthfully, taking in the full effect of her peach colored gown in the afternoon sun.

The princess returns her attention to the book pages.

————————————————————————

Some weeks later, Cregan Stark arrives from the North, on behalf of his house, to negotiate a potential alliance with the Riverlands which the King has the final say in.

Viserys hosts a feast in Stark’s honor, followed by festivities in the grand hall.

Aegon is polite enough when Cregan comes to collect wine from the table.

“I could not help but notice the Princess while you were dancing.” Stark says, making harmless conversation.

“Y/N,” Aegon smiles, fondly.

“She is beautiful.” Cregan is equally entranced, “I must speak to her.”

“She does not speak.” Aegon reaches a hand out to stop him, with a forced grin.

“To you or to anyone?” Stark continues staring at Y/N over Aegon’s head.

“To anyone,” Aegon tells him. If she did speak, it would be to him first. Not some stranger.

“Well that’s no matter.” He pats Aegon once on the shoulder, “I’m going to introduce myself.”

Aegon stares, eyes wide as Stark crosses the room to Y/N.

Taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips. “Cregan Stark, your grace.”

Y/N smiles, nodding her head in acknowledgement.

“This is my darling daughter, Y/N.” Rhaenyra says, proudly. Brushing dark waves behind her daughter’s ear.

“It is an honor to make your acquaintance.” Cregan says, “I was wondering if you might like to dance.”

Y/N nods, allowing him to lead her out onto the floor.

Aegon reaches for another cup, drowning his sadness in it.

“That is a fine match.” King Viserys says, watching them from his chair.

“Indeed, Husband.” Alicent agrees.

“Mayhaps a betrothal, in time.” Rhaenyra beams at her father.

————————————————————————

Each day Stark comes to Y/N with an offer of courtship, a new way they might spend time together. He appears to her with flowers, and little gifts he’s acquired from the North. He tells stories of his homeland and the things they might do together, as Aegon plots his murder.

Squeezing his glass so forcefully at supper that night it shatters in his grasp.

“Aegon!” Viserys shouts, as the red wine bleeds onto the dinner table.

Y/N pushes away from the table, rounding the line of chairs to his side. Plucking shards of glass from his skin, with her bare hands and covering his bloody palm with the pristine white fabric of her napkin. She stares at him, expectantly.

Aegon sighs, with a shake of his head. Leaving the dinner table, quietly. Sometimes, it is best not to speak, especially when no one cares what you have to say.

————————————————————————

In the week that follows, Aegon becomes more withdrawn.

Y/N can’t help but think it is something she’s done. Mayhaps their friendship is not something that interests him any longer. Which will make it easier now that Cregan has asked for her hand.

When Alicent gathers her children to break the news that the official betrothal will be celebrated that night, Aegon nearly refuses to attend the procession.

Do they truly expect him to sit there and be merry as Y/N is given away to a near stranger?

Y/N taps her mother’s hand anxiously, before the announcement is made.

“It’s alright,” Rhaenyra assures her, “there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Y/N shakes her head.

“You must marry, sweet girl. Cregan is a good man, he will treat you well.”

Her eyes plead with her mother.

“Who then?” Rhaenyra sighs.

The woman’s gaze flits to Aegon across the room, staring at her with clenched fists.

Aegon inhales sharply, moving toward her on unsteady legs.

“Don’t you dare.” Alicent catches his arm, but it is too late.

Aegon tears his arm free, Y/N is already moving toward him. Pulled together by some invisible force, neither one can explain. “Y/N, I first wish to apologize for the distance between us as of late.”

Y/N’s eyes soften, alight with a fondness reserved only for Aegon.

“But I do not want some Stark bringing you flowers. I want to do it. I cannot stand the sight of you dancing with him when I want to dance with you. I do not begrudge you happiness but I…I love you and I’d like you to be happy with me.” Aegon drops to his knees, “marry me.”

“Aegon!” Alicent protests, only to be silenced by her husband, the king.

“Please.” Aegon says, ignoring his mother’s outburst.

Y/N tugs at his hand, until he stands. Her eyes searching his.

Aegon cups her face in his hands, chest heaving with nerves. “You will want for nothing so long as I live, I swear.”

Y/N rests her hands over his, nodding.

“Yes?” Aegon stammers, “you’ll marry me?”

Another nod and blinding smile.

He pulls her into his arms. “Thank you.”

Y/N holds him just as tightly, tapping at his back a moment later.

“What is it, my heart?” He pulls back, ever so slightly.

Y/N presses her lips to his, sealing the deal.

[goldweaverr]

Hi! I just saw your first post about our beloved Kremnos prince, Mydei, and I absolutely love it! ❤️ You captured his character so beautifully, especially his views on love and romance. I adore how meticulous and accurate you were in portraying him—I completely see him that way too! Our prince carries the heavy burden of his family's royal lineage and the countless people who rely on him in the name of Kremnos. This perfectly explains his inexperience with love and romance—he simply has no time or hasn't been able to find someone to share such a connection with. I absolutely love how you portrayed his behavior when he finally discovers someone he can truly open his soul to! It’s so beautifully done! ❤️ I wonder—have you ever thought about Mydei letting his lover take the lead in bed? Whether it’s because of his inexperience or his eagerness to explore, the idea is so captivating. I love imagining Mydei finally letting go, allowing himself to be passionately ravished as he releases all the pent-up stress and burdens he’s carried for so long. It feels so fitting for his character—a vulnerable yet liberating moment where he can truly surrender and experience love in its rawest form. ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

OH MY !! I wasn't expecting such a lovely response at all, I'm so flustered, thank you so so much !!! I'm glad we share an opinion and I'm so glad you like how I portrayed him !!! I was hoping people would see The Vision™ so I'm beyond happy to know that not only has it reached, but others see it too ~! I'm very overwhelmed with the positive responses, and I'm more than happy to be sharing a space with so many fellow Mydei fans!! I finished the quest today and haven't been okay about him since, I hope he doesn't get sidelined too much as the story progresses and more characters get introduced because I sincerely love him so, so much <3

Again, thank you for your kind words!! They mean so much to me!!

And as for that lovely idea... muehehe let's get to it then ! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ I hope I can do it justice !

— NSFW! MDNI! No spoilers!

Love. In it's rawest form.

He knew he could let you take control. All your midnight rendezvous so far had him taking the lead. It just simply felt natural to be the one to drop you on your back — hand behind your head to soften your impact against the already soft mattress — and pleasure you until you can't take any more. Until all you can do is scream his name endlessly. Until you forget there were Titans out there to worship instead of him. That was his role towards you, it felt only natural. He didn't mind it one bit, he was more than happy with it. Steadied above you by the strength of his arms, staring at the gorgeous sight of you unraveling underneath him, your expressions, the eye contact, your nails on his back. It was divine.

Sometimes, you two would spice it up a bit by making slight changes. Trying a few new positions. You were both still so new to this, taking it really slow to remain comfortable. Yet so eager to explore more of each other, of love, and sex, intimacy. Although he understands there's no shame in having discussions about these things beforehand, it still felt easier for him to learn through action. If something bothered either of you, neither would hesitate to express it, and everything halts. He's not an animal. He understands boundaries, limits, preferences, comfort.. he doesn't shy away from expressing his own, and wants you to always be equally as comfortable. Love is not meant to be uncomfortable.

For example, one thing Mydei found he doesn't like is when you're on all fours and he's taking you from behind.

The position felt... Uncomfortable to him in a strange way. He found it felt a bit degrading to you, and it prevented him from seeing your face and expressions. Which upset him when he came to realize that not staring at your beautiful face while he's making love to you takes away so much of the intimacy that brings him comfort during these activities. He loves watching your reactions. He even likes talking to you through it. Lacking that made him feel vulnerable in a way. So after you were done, he told you how he felt, and that was the last time the position was used. Simple as that.

You had both been thinking about bringing it up, but wondering how to approach it.

He might not look like it, but when it came to this newfound love, he was so no less eager to discover everything that came with it. He wanted to know everything about you and show you everything about him. He wanted to know how to kiss you in the right ways, how to hold you with a grip that's balanced between protective and loving, how to be there for you in a way that doesn't suffocate you, where on your body to put his lips so that he drives you insane, what pace of thrusts makes you see stars in the glory of Kephale's morning...

And through it, he discovers himself. He's learning along with you. He doesn't know much about these parts of who he is, he's endlessly grateful you've given him this opportunity to learn and get to know himself more. And his recent thought is that it might be nice if sometime, you were to get on top of him and ravish him the way he usually does to you.

But, that can't be right? He can't ask you to do that, can he? Is he allowed to want this? Shouldn't it be his job to pleasure you and take care of you? It might be shameful if he wanted to just sit back and let you do all the work...

You, on the other hand, were thinking about it endlessly. Wanting to watch him relax, watch him unwind. Wanting to be the one giving him pleasure for once, he deserves it. He takes so much care of you, always putting you above himself, in every aspect. Even outside of your relationship, he's always putting others first. Prioritizing Phainon's safety over his own, even the two outsiders above himself. Putting the city of Okhema and it's citizens safety first, putting the wants of his people above his own... He's never given enough credit for how much of himself he sacrifices everyday for others, because they view him as too distant, too rough, too cold... His actions speak louder than his words, and his actions are constantly putting himself in harm's way if it meant someone else would be safe.

So, for once, he deserves to turn his mind off. Turn off his senses and his desire to please. To just enjoy being taken care of, being loved, being thanked for everything.

So when midnight came around (or the hour people got used to being midnight, not like the endless sunlight indicated much for them) and you two found yourself tangled up in the usual dance that happens so often, you decided it's now or never. As Mydei began to slowly guide you towards the mattress, lips never once leaving yours, you turned your position around an dropped him down instead. The sudden movement broke the kiss and left him with an expression of shock on his face, staring at you questioning what just happened. You smile at him and gently push him up a bit more, letting him get entirely comfortable on the bed. He follows your lead slowly, unsure where this is going, but curious to see what you're up to. Your expression remained calm, a smile that looks almost like a smirk, mischief and adoration in your eyes as you stared into his fiery gold ones. "let me take care of you" you broke the silence by saying. His mouth opened slightly, as if to answer, before it closed again after not finding the right words. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he doesn't break eye contact, "take care of me?" He asks, tone full of uncertainty. You nod, "you're always taking the lead. In battle, in bed.. why don't you just let me thank you this time, hm?" Your voice came out soft and gentle as you began to straddle him, hands pushing him down slightly so he can be fully relaxed into the comfortable bed and he follows your every silent order as you get yourself comfortable on top of him. His lap, your throne.

This is what he's been thinking of. He should be happy. But he finds himself feeling a bit guilty, like he doesn't deserve it, like this isn't fair to you, and that prevents him from relaxing entirely. The worry on his expression was clear to you, you understood each other through the tiniest of microexpressions, and you could tell what he was thinking. "You're worth everything" is all what you say in response to soothe your worries, deciding to follow in his example and let your actions speak louder than your words.

You pressed your lips in kiss gently, moving against his in a soft rhythm that felt too innocent considering the moment blooming between the two of you. His hand came up to grip the back of your head carefully, letting you do what you want and following along as best he can. Your hand on the other end got to working off the armor on his body, shedding away the last piece of protection that separates his bare body from you, thinking to yourself how grateful you are that he trusts you to this extent, to allow himself to be this vulnerable and unprotected in your presence. His hands shift as they help you take off his clothing, the sound of metal hitting the ground resonating as more and more pieces are thrown off to the floor carelessly until he was naked. Although it was all about him tonight, you still pulled away to strip yourself as well, not wanting him to feel an imbalance in the dynamic between the two of you. As soon as you were naked, he leaned in to kiss you again but you dodged his lips with a playfully chuckle, he lets out a sulking scoff in response.

You begin to kiss his jaw, running your tongue over the spot you knew he liked, before you slowly went down to his neck. Your arms wrapped around his waist to drag your chest flush against his, wanting to feel him as close as you can as your lips continued to explore his neck, as perfectly sculpted as everything else about him is.

Marks left shamelessly decorating his neck, paying no mind to how easily they can be seen through the little clothing he wears. Your hands and mouth worked in tandem to assure his pleasure, one hand busying itself rubbing his length up and down slowly, another playing with his chest, as your mouth kept leaving kisses and bites and hickeys all over his neck and collarbones, tongue tracing over the red marks adorning his torso. His breathing heavy, his chest heaving up and down quickly, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise them, shameless moans and grunts and groans coming from above you. Sneaking a peek over to look at him, his eyebrows are pressed together tightly in pleasure as his eyes are closed shut, head leaning back, sweat dripping down his forehead.. a divine sight. One that motivated you to work even harder to pleasure him. Your mouth left his neck and went down to take a nipple in your mouth, earning you a harsh jolt of his entire body that made you yelp. "Sorry.." he apologizes sheepishly, face red as his hands try to distract you by roaming all over your body. You suppress a chuckle and plant a quick smooch on his lips to tease him, and he lets out a quiet groan as he rolls his eyes at you. You get back to what you were doing, sucking his nipple the way he does to yours, hand playing with the other way, all while your other hand never left his length, giving him just enough friction to stay excited, never enough to cum.

Eventually you let go of his chest and pull back for a minute to admire your work so far, admire how he already looks spent despite you barely being halfway through your mission. He'll complain and scold you for all the marks left across his torso tomorrow morning, but you'll deal with that problem later, currently you feel proud of yourself. Your gaze moves over to the vein on his bicep and your nail drags against it softly, idly, as you consider your next move. He stares at you wordlessly, anticipating what's next. He might not be admitting it through words, but he is entirely enjoying this. He doesn't understand why he'd hear some men complain about feeling their pride sting if they ever let their partners take the lead, if anything, Mydei has never felt more like a king than he does in this moment, all the attention on him as he's practically being worshipped. He feels so powerful, but most importantly, so loved.

You make eye contact with him again, a gentle expression as the friction between your gazes could practically be seen as sparks of electricity. "I love you" he says, breaking the silence but igniting that flickering flame that needed a fuse. You smile, not responding, but instead immediately pushing yourself down to the ground to kneel in front of him, preferring to answer him with more service. He props himself up on his elbows to keep watching you intently, as you wrap your arm around his length again, and bring your lips to it. He's used to gripping your hair when you go down on him, guiding you to the pace he prefers, but this time when he grips he makes no other moves, trusting to let you take the lead entirely how you want to. You won't deny him his pleasure after all, it's you.

At times he has the most random thoughts. Like if the walls are actually thinner than he thinks. Like if anyone on the other end can hear the mighty crown prince moaning out his partner's name. Like if Aglaea's golden threads can even pick stuff like this up, oh no ....

But a jolt of pleasure brings his thoughts back to reality as he redirects his attention back to you.

He isn't ashamed of what he has with you. He's afraid of where it might take him. Of how much he's willing to do for you. He knows every minute spent with you indulging in romance and desires is playing with fire while he's made of gasoline. And he'll burn down to ashes in his most graceless moments when he's bare under your gaze that burns gold into his skin, liquifying his flames into a puddle of adoration for you.

While maintaining eye contact with you, a silent exchange of vulnerability, it spoke an endless capacity. An unspoken sentence of 'Y𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦' ringing loudly in your ears. '𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴'.

You brought out the best out of each other, but simultaneously the ugliest human parts as well. Brought out the honesty he's hid from others and himself, brought out the desires he's kept ignored without caring about the hole they were digging in his soul. Gnawing away at his very being and turning him hollow. Brought out the love he was afraid to ever confront. But he's here now, confronting it and ruling over it's court. And tonight is the summit of Mydei's seemingly pathetic life. The two of you are wrapped up in a galaxy of your sins; summed down to nothing but a constellation of the most raw human desires. Who were the titans to demand worship when they knew nothing of what true religion was. This was a ritual. An exchange of souls. It meant more to Mydei than anything else has. This was raw, this was love. He could live in a reel of this night replaying endlessly forever.

The rest of this cursed world could matter later, to hell with every prophecy that demands his presence, nothing felt more worth experiencing in this moment than your mouth on him and your heat surrounding him and your praises spilling against him and your touch killing him and bringing him to life a thousand times over in this bed.

This was love in it's rawest form, and they can call Phainon the chosen one all they want, but Mydei feels like he's received the greatest blessings this universe has to offer him when he made eye contact with you the first time, and if the black tide was to eventually swallow even the last standing holy city, then to hell with all of it if you'd still be by his side.

[likebreadandwine]

we have similar urges, you know. I give in to them more rarely, but I do give in. especially at holidays.

in a festive daze, when the house is full of cookies and chocolate and leftovers—cured meats and fine cheeses and chips and dips—I crave something sweet, then salty, then hearty and savoury, and it's all at my fingertips. I graze, all day long. I nibble. so many wonderful tastes, I can't help but to indulge the impulse. I dip biscuits in sweet, milky tea. I languidly bring chocolate-covered cherries to my mouth. I'm full and I feel like it, warm and satisfied.

but you, you have a hunger that far exceeds mine. I watch you, all day. I like to savour my small bites; you are voracious. it's not as if you don't enjoy your food—I know you do, the way you hum and groan and sigh between bites. it's just that you get carried away by a craving. like you can't be satisfied by one chocolate, you have to eat your way through the box.

after all this time, I still find myself counting what I've eaten, keeping track of how many sweets, how many slices of bread, stopping once I've reached some arbitrary, self-imposed limit. you never seem to count. (you leave that to me sometimes. you know I have a tally going in my head and you'll ask what the damage was after you've finished.) you never limit yourself.

you want something and you have it. even after your shirt has gotten snug and you have to arch your back to get comfortable and an ache settles across your stretched stomach—you want more and you have it. I watch you for a long time, not saying anything, but longing to touch you and wondering how it feels. I'm always wondering.

you're getting heavier, bigger, taking up more space, needing more to feel full, your appetite growing stronger. how does that feel?

I wonder, too, if you know what it does to me. you know some of it, and you take advantage: casually reaching up to some high shelf to tease me with a peek at your belly; making little comments about how I shouldn't keep all these snacks in the house, how you overdid it today, how you're getting fatter and it's my fault (you are and it is). all this, you know, will make me blush and squirm and look at you hungrily.

but I wonder if you know I feel a wave of pride when you spend a day shamelessly eating. if you know that I am affectionately cataloging all the changes to your softening body—the cheeks getting rounder, thighs more plush, the burgeoning swell of your belly and hips, the stretch marks blooming like spring crocuses. if you discern my stunned, joyous near-disbelief that you feel safe enough with me to abandon all inhibition. in fact, that you allow me to suggest (or cajole or demand) you have more when you're already filled to the brim and breathless.

you're so open to pleasure, so unguarded. I am in awe of you. and just when I feel myself resisting, scarcely able to believe that I am invited to participate in all this pleasure, I remind myself that when you want something, you have it.

and you have me. I'm yours in every way. I have never been so wanted.

[ivyyisbored22]

𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞—𝘓𝘦𝘦 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘹 (𝘧𝘦𝘮) 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

A Stray Kids one shot (𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 @laurenalpha123 . 𝚃𝚢𝚜𝚖!)

Synopsis: You are a trainee at JYPE and Lee Know is your Sunbae. But you both had been schoolmates until Lee Know moved away and now you joined the company to become an idol. You had unconfessed feelings for him and you didn't know— the sexy dancer has had an eye on you since high school. Now that you're almost so close to him, he is determined to have you.

Warnings: SMUT🔞. Mature content. Strong language, Semi-public?(practice room), unprotected sex, size kink, reader is called kitten,overstim(?), oral(f.receiving), fingering, doggy, pet names,(somewhat of)dirtytalk?, mirror sex.

Minors do not interact!!!

(Sometimes my brain just...works...LMFAO)

If this isn't your thing, you're more than welcome to skip it. Reblogs, likes, comments and feedbacks are always appreciated.

ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴘᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.

Word count:5.6k (My hands slipped— I'm sorry(⁠･ั⁠ω⁠･ั⁠))

𝑬𝑵𝑱𝑶𝒀!

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"I'll join you after a few hours," You told your bandmate as you combed your hair and put it up in a messy bun. The strands fell around your face in a way that added a casual charm to your look, but you didn’t care much about appearances right now. "I just wanna work out for a while."

"Sure. I'll send you the details." Your bandmate said, grabbing her purse, ballcap and mask, getting ready to go out with two of the other members. "Don’t push yourself too hard, okay?" She added, a note of concern in her voice.

You returned her smile and gave a reassuring nod. She pulled you into a quick, warm hug before slipping out the door, her footsteps fading down the hallway as she joined the other members, leaving you alone in your quite spacious dorm room.

You sighed, stretching your arms above your head and feeling the slight burn in your muscles from the intense training sessions earlier in the day. The pressure of being part of an upcoming K-pop girl group was always present, but in moments like these, when you were alone, you felt a strange mix of excitement and anxiety. It was an exhilarating but daunting journey.

You glanced at your reflection in the mirror, the soft glow of the sun glowing through thw window, highlighting the determination in your eyes. The girl staring back at you was not the same one who had entered the company months ago—she was stronger, more resilient, and more driven than ever before.

You got dressed in a comfy pair of sweatpants, a cute crop top and white sneakers and made your way to the door. With one last look around the dorm, you stepped out into the hallway, the door clicking shut behind you.

You walked towards the elevator and made your way to the dance practice room. The doors slid open and you stepped inside, once the elevator reached the floor, you walked to the end of the hallway.

The building was so silent as if no one was roaming the corridors, it was slightly creepy and of course the building had thick walls. You swallowed the unease building in your chest and started walking, the sound of your sneakers tapping against the floor the only thing breaking the silence.

As you approached the end of the hallway, the familiar door to the dance practice room came into view. It was a place you knew well, a space where you had spent countless hours perfecting your routines and pushing your limits. The sight of it brought a small sense of comfort, but the unnerving stillness of the building lingered in the back of your mind, making you quicken your pace.

You reached out for the door handle, but paused for a moment, glancing around the deserted corridor one last time. The entire floor seemed devoid of life, and for a split second, you wondered if you were truly alone.

But you shook off the feeling, telling yourself it was just your imagination playing tricks on you. After all, it wasn’t uncommon for the building to be quiet during the day when most trainees were either out, practicing or resting in their dorms.

Pushing the door open, you stepped into the practice room, greeted by the familiar scent of wood and faint traces of lingering sweat and—a devastatingly handsome man who had no business being that handsome.

Your eyes widened as your heart began to race behind your ribcage. Lee Know, the well known among everyone and everyone around the world, stood casually at the corner of the room, his back pressed against the mirrored wall, scrolling his phone.

Lee Know was your Sunbae, who joined the company six years before you did but he wasn't just your senior.

You and Lee Know were schoolmates back in high school. He was almost like a bully, picking on you and teasing you any chance he got.

But despite all that, Lee Know has stood up for you and has almost got himself in trouble at the principal's office for fighting with another jerk of a guy at school who treated you like shit.

And to this day, you were grateful to him for stepping up for you.

Lee Know glanced up from his phone, his eyes directly falling on you standing in the doorway, your heart began racing even faster. You had seen his practice videos on YouTube, he usually wore hoodies and sweatpants but today out of all days, he was in a black tank top and shorts.

Good lord.

"Oh hello, Sunbae," You said, attempting to break the silence, his eyes were still on you, an intense gaze watching you, falling from head to toe, observing your outfit.

You slowly stepped in, closing the door behind you and pushed away a strand of hair behind your ear. Man, why was he watching you so intently? His face was literally unreadable.

“Surprised to see me?” He asked, a slight smirk tugging at his lips, his voice smooth and deep, cutting through the silence of the room. The teasing lilt in his tone made your heart flutter even more.

You struggled to find your voice, still reeling from the shock of seeing him here. “I—uh, yeah. I didn’t expect anyone to be here,” You stammered, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so flustered.

You had seen Lee Know around the company before, but never like this. Alone and in such close proximity. He pushed himself off the wall and walked towards you, the smirk on his lips growing as he noticed your reaction.

Your breathing increased as he stood only a few feet away from you, you could see his chest rise and fall. You looked up at him, trying your best to hide your deepening blush but it was in vain.

Lee Know tilted his head, sliding his hands in the pockets of his shorts, "It's been a while since I last saw you. You’ve changed a lot since then. In a good way of course."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. The idea that Lee Know still remembers you, sent a rush of emotions through you. You thought he had forgotten about you but it looks like you were wrong.

"Thank you, Sunbae," Your voice almost broke in half out of embarrassment? Shyness? You didn't know. All you knew was standing this close to Lee Know just made you go crazy.

"So have you," You managed to say, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside you. His gaze was still locked on you, intense and unwavering, as if he was searching for something hidden beneath the surface.

Lee Know’s smirk softened into a small smile at your words. “I guess we both have,” He replied, his tone warm but with an undercurrent of something deeper.

“But some things never change.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, the air between you thick with tension. You could hardly believe this was happening—that you were standing so close to him, having a conversation that felt so personal, so intimate.

He took another step closer, his presence almost overwhelming. The scent of his cologne, fresh and subtly spicy, filled your senses, making it even harder to think straight.

"Wanna do our new comeback dance challenge with me?" His sudden question caught you off guard, you looked at him blinking for a second before nodding softly.

"Sure, but I already know the choreography," You said, a faint smile playing on your lips as he watched you with a playfully arched eyebrow.

"Is that so? Then I guess we don't have to warm up"

"I don't think we have to"

He glanced at you one more time before he moved towards the sound system and plugged in his phone, the lead song of their newest comeback began playing on the speakers.

As the music began to play, filling the room with its pulsating rhythm, you took your place in front of the mirror, Lee Know stood next to you. The tension in your shoulders melted away slightly, replaced by the familiar rush of adrenaline but him standing next you still made you nervous.

Lee Know was one of the best dancers in the K-pop industry, everyone knew it and you felt insecure for a second knowing your skills wouldn't match his. But you pushed that thought away when the chorus of the song started.

Your body moved in synchronisation with Lee Know, your movements fluid and perfect matching his. The choreography was complex, but you had practised it so many times that it felt like second nature.

Lee Know moved with an effortless grace that was mesmerising to watch. His body seemed to flow with the music, every motion deliberate yet smooth, he was born to dance.

You found yourself getting lost in the way he moved, the way his eyes flicked to you every now and then, gauging your performance, as if challenging you to keep up. And you did. Every twist, turn, and pop was executed with precision.

The two of you were in perfect sync, moving as one unit. The reflection in the mirror showed you both, side by side, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to bask in the feeling of dancing alongside someone you had admired for so long.

As the song drifted off, he turned to you, a satisfied smile on his face. “You were great,” He said, his voice slightly breathless but full of admiration. “I knew you were good, but that was something else.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face at his words, a flush of pride warming your cheeks. “Thank you, Sunbae,” You replied, trying to catch your breath. “But I think you might’ve been holding back a little.”

Lee Know chuckled, the sound deep and rich, sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. “Maybe just a little,” He admitted, a playful glint in his eyes. “But only because I didn’t want to completely show off.”

You laughed, the tension in your body finally melting away. “I appreciate that,” you said, your tone light and teasing. “Though I’m not sure I could keep up if you went all out.”

He shook his head, still smiling as he looked at you. “Don’t sell yourself short. You did good."

His compliment made your heart skip a beat, the sincerity in his voice hitting you harder than you expected.

"Let's go another round?" You asked, now feeling fully confident.

"Sure" Lee Know replied smoothly and he walked to the sound system to put on a new set of songs.

For the next forty five minutes the two of you freestyled, danced to the latest comebacks and even practised for your debut song.

Sweat slicked your bodies as you came to a short break, his black tank top hugged his figure while your white crop top clung onto you, revealing a faint colour of your bra.

Lee Know caught an accidental glance of your chest but quickly turned his head away and walked to the mini fridge and grabbed two bottles of water.

You went to the corner of the room and sat on the floor, wiping off the sweat from your brow with the back of your hand, feeling the slight burn in your muscles after the intense session. Songs from the sound system continued playing quite soundly in the background.

Lee Know approached you and handed a bottle, the cold water you drank helped cool you down, but it did nothing to calm the racing of your heart.

You glanced up at Lee Know, who stood above you, his eyes glinting with that familiar playful mischief.

"Tired so fast?" He teased, the smirk on his lips growing as he leaned against the wall beside you, one eyebrow cocked in that infuriatingly attractive way.

You rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips despite your best efforts to stay composed. “I’m not tired, Sunbae,” You shot back, though your breathlessness betrayed you. “Just pacing myself.”

“Is that what it is?” Lee Know chuckled, taking a long swig of his water, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he swallowed. “I figured you’d be able to keep up better by now.”

His words was coated with a hint of sarcasm, but there was an undercurrent of something more—an unspoken challenge that made your pulse quicken.

He had always known how to push your buttons, even back in high school, and it seemed like that hadn’t changed one bit.

Lee Know’s eyes flicked down to where your crop top clung to your skin, the faint outline of your bra visible through the thin fabric. For a split second, you caught him staring, but he quickly averted his gaze, clearing his throat as if nothing had happened.

He sat next to you, so close that you could feel the scent of his spicy cologne and sweat radiating off his body, which shouldn't make you feel like you wanted to drown in it.

“I've seen you dance at school," He said. "You’ve definitely improved a lot since,” He said, his tone casual, though you didn’t miss the slight edge in his voice. “But you might want to work on your stamina. Can’t have you tapping out too soon.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head at his relentless teasing. “Is this your way of saying I need more practice?” You asked, your voice light and playful as you tilted your head to look up at him.

“Maybe,” He replied, turning to you while his arm rested on one knee, his eyes glinting with amusement.

For a few moments the two of you stood there in silence, not knowing what to say next. You took another sip from your bottle and closed the cap, glancing at him but his gaze was already on you.

You felt your heart beginning to race again, a chuckle escaped from his throat as he turned his head away and finished his bottle of water.

"You know," He began softly, his voice low and slightly rough around the edges, you looked at him through the corner of your eye.

“You’re really something else.”

You fully turned to him and before you could respond, he moved closer, his free hand coming up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. The touch was light, almost hesitant, but it sent a shiver down your spine, your skin tingling where his fingers had grazed.

“You drive me crazy,” He confessed, his voice barely above a whisper now, as if admitting something he’d been holding back for a long time. “Ever since high school… I’ve been trying to figure you out. But you… you’re impossible.”

His words, spoken so close to your ear, made your breath catch in your throat. The heat between you was almost unbearable now, and you felt a pull, an undeniable urge to close the gap between you.

“Is that so?” You whispered back, your voice trembling slightly as you looked at him. The intensity in his gaze was almost overwhelming, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away.

“Maybe you didn't try hard enough.”

Lee Know’s eyes narrowed slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Oh, I did,” He murmured, his voice laced with that familiar sarcasm, but there was an edge to it now—something darker, more serious.

“But you’re just a tough nut to crack.”

His hand, still resting near your face, moved to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin. The contact was electrifying, sending jolts of warmth throughout your entire body. Your breath hitched, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it.

“And what happens if you do?” You asked, your voice barely audible as you leaned into his touch, your eyes locked onto his.

Lee Know’s smirk faded, his expression turning serious, almost contemplative. He leaned in closer, his lips just inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” He whispered, his voice so soft it was almost lost in the quiet of the room.

Time froze in that moment when Lee Know pressed his hand on the wall, caging you with his body, lifting your chin with his fingers and bringing you close to him.

You swallowed hard but he didn't bring your lips to his. He only watched you and watched you as if he was waiting for someone to be revealed from your eyes.

"Six years. For six years you've managed to take over my head. Live in there. Freely. And now,"

Lee Know's hand went up your crop top, his palm caressing your skin that made goosebumps pebble your skin, his low, growling voice made your thighs clench. You felt something wet slowly beginning to pool between your legs.

He squeezed your breast through your bra, you inhaled a sharp breath, your hand instantly gripping his arm.

"Sunbae," You said so softly it almost sounded like a moan. And that soft voice made his cock hard.

"Lee Know, darling. Call me Lee Know. Or did you forget my name?" He said in a low rough voice as he began squeezing and palming and playing with your breast that caused you to whimper.

"Someone might walk in," Your fingers dug on his arms, your face still so close to his, his warm breath was over you, it drove you mad. But you wanted him to keep going. Your arousal began consuming you and you needed more.

"Then I guess we make it fast. Right baby?"

Lee Know pulled you down, your back was now on the floor, his knees on either side of you and pinning you beneath him. His eyes were dark and full of desire as he watched your chest rise and fall.

"Should I stop?" He asked in a husky voice. You shook your head, not being able to think of anything else. "No, don't. Please"

And that was all he needed to hear.

Without another word he pushed your top up along with your bra, revealing your hard nipples and beautiful breasts to his lust filled eyes. His eyes widened along with his smirk as he took in the heavenly sight beneath him, he leaned down and closed his mouth around the sensitive tip, your hand instantly tugged his hair.

You couldn't help but moan at the way his mouth sucked your nipple and rolled the other with his forefinger and thumb. He was basically worshipping your tits, giving both of them equal amounts of attention.

"Always knew my princess will taste the sweetest" He released your nipple with a soft pop sound, your fingers were still snaking his hair.

"Lee Know I, I need you," You said in a breathy moan, arousal spreading all over you, you could feel your juices stain your panties.

"You have me baby," He said as he removed your shoes and tugged down your pants along with your underwear, leaving you completely naked below your waist with nothing but your socks on.

He spread your thighs, the scent of your arousal reaching him as he got down to your hot dripping core. Your slick glazed infront of his eyes, his mouth watering knowing he's going to be having the best time of his life.

He placed a feather like kiss on your clit that made your chest heavy and core beg with need, it clenched around nothing, Lee Know smirked again and continued to kiss your clit multiple times.

"Lee Know...pl—please..."

"How so impatient baby" He licked your juices and was the last he said before he drew in the sensitive nub in his mouth and sucked.

Your back arched, Lee Know's tongue flicking and licking and sucking on your clit as he pushed a finger inside you, stretching your pretty walls and another, continuing to stretch you while his tongue played with your bud.

He groaned as your juices coated his face, tongue and fingers, you writhed and bucked your hips but his other hand's fingers were digging onto your thigh, holding you in place.

Lee Know knew that it was worth waiting. Worth waiting all those years for you. For him to taste you like this. In his sanctuary, under him, with your body begging for him to keep going.

"Oh my, Lee Know, oh" You were whimpering as he pumped his fingers inside your cunt, while he sucked on your clit like it was his last meal.

He pulled his fingers out after a few seconds of pumping and replaced it with his tongue without a word coming out of him other than a satisfied groan in your pussy, eating you out. The taste of you only hardened his cock behind his shorts.

You couldn't hold on, your eyes gushed with tears but Lee Know was so mean, his licks and flicks were slow and languid, you were squirming as you kept moaning without an end, the sound of your moans mixing with the beats of the newest songs playing off the speakers in the background.

While your senses were being driven out of your mind with Lee Know's tongue, you prayed that no one would walk in or hear your embarrasing noises. And those noises only turned Lee Know on more.

Your head turned to the side and through your glassy eyes you caught your reflection staring back at you. Lee Know's face buried in between your legs while your mouth was hanging half open.

You didn't look like the kind, innocent and polite idol the company trained you to be. You looked heavily drunk from arousal and at the way Lee Know's mouth worked on you.

"What a sweet little pussy you have sweetheart," He languidly licked your slit making you cry softly.

His cock was so hard and felt excruciatingly painful behind the confines of his shorts but he was too drunk on your sweet pussy that he ignored it.

Lee Know rose up from your heat, looking at you while his chin was coated with your essence, his lips red and stained with your juices, he got up to your face and crushed his mouth on yours.

You could basically taste yourself off his lips, his tongue swiped over your lips, demanding entrance as he kissed you fiercely. It wasn't gentle but dominant, his tongue battling with yours while his fingers circled your clit.

You moaned into his mouth, bucking your hips begging for him to give you more. Goodness, when were you this turned on?

Lee Know groaned as he pulled back and returned back to his meal, resting your leg on his shoulder and his tongue pushing inside your walls, kissing and licking your pussy, basically driving you absolutely insane. Literally keeping you on the edge.

"Lee Know, I can't, please" You begged him breathlessly, squealing while he worshipped you with his mouth.

"I'm teaching you on how to build your stamina kitten," He kissed your wet walls. "We should work on that right?"

Your fingers pulled his hair so hard, it nearly ached him but what you didn't know, Lee Know liked it when his hair was being pulled. You didn't know how turned on he was right now and how he was going to do everything to keep you under his mercy for however long he wants.

And hopefully no one walks in on you both.

"Pleaseplease, I can't, please" You were whimpering, breathing heavily, you couldn't do it any longer.

"You wanna come baby? Come all over my face? And show me how much you love this?"

"Yeah, yes, please Lee Know, GODDD"

He flattened his tongue in one more long lick and that undid you. "Come for me, kitten."

The words didn't fully leave his mouth as you came shuddering, your moans sounding like an erotic background music for the lyrics playing off the walls, your orgasm washed over you and Lee Know making your toes curl.

You were panting heavily from your high, letting go of his hair and your other hand and feet laying flat on the floor, you could still see tiny specks of stars erupting behind your eyes.

Lee Know smirked watching you process your comedown and stood on his knees. You slowly propped on your elbows, your eyes directly falling on his huge throbbing bulge below his abdomen and the slight stain around it.

When he was almost about to fully stand up, you wrapped your hand around his forearm. "You know you aren't done." You said challengingly that made his eyes and smirk widen with mischief.

"I don't carry condoms with me when I'm going to the practice room, kitten. Unless you think I do this all the time" He said as he brushed his fingers over your needy wet pussy. It was begging for him.

"We don't need it"

"That's not a good idea," He refused. Lee Know was always against unprotected sex and he knew he had pushed his luck as far it could go for today.

"You know you want this," You got up on your knees and touched his groin. "And so do I."

"Sweetheart," He protested but you went past it, you didn't know where you got this much courage from. You pulled his shorts and boxers down, just so that his erection was freed, your eyes widened.

OH GOD.

His cock sprung out, long, proud and beautifully hard, thick and veiny, pre cum leaking off the tip as it throbbed angrily. All your previous encounters vanished into thin air as you took in the sight of his gorgeous velvet shaft.

You looked at Lee Know with a wide smirk playing on your lips and stacked your hand on the base of his impressive length, stoking him as he groaned. You cutely kissed and licked the pretty tip, lapping his pre substances, the sweet saltiness lingering on your tongue.

"You. Drive. Me. Crazy." He growled.

Lee Know gripped your wrist and swiftly turned you around so that now the two of you were facing the mirrored wall. His erection dug onto your lower back and he pushed you onto all fours, grazing the tip on your entrance.

Your eyes closed shut and core ached with need, with one last gentle stroke, Lee Know held your waist and filled you inch by inch of his length in a smooth glid that made your back arch and cry out sharply.

"Lee—"

His cock was huge, he had to let you adjust for a few long seconds before he started pounding into you. You were basically naked if not for your socks and your top and bra resting beneath your neck.

"Fuck baby you're so tight" Lee Know rasped in a harsh tone, diving his huge length in your cunt, the hard wood floor bruising your knees.

"I might come right now."

Your breasts were bouncing, back and forth, as he pounded into you in a nearly punishing force, you almost— almost regretted asking for him to fuck you. But the pleasure of his thrusts were so euphoric, you wanted him to keep pushing you further.

"Open your eyes." Lee Know growled harshly, his hand came around your neck, fluttering your eyes wide open, meeting your reflection in front of you.

"Look at me when I'm fucking your tight little pussy."

You did. Your eyes met him through the mirror as he continued pounding into you so hard, abusing and wrecking your poor hole, his hand almost tight around your neck.

Your walls squeezed and clenched his thick shaft, driving Lee Know out of his mind. His cock was throbbing inside of you, he was resisting the urge to slap that round pretty ass of yours, but the way you took in his dick this gorgeously sent him to heaven.

"What do you think the world will think if they ever saw this huh?" Lee Know growled that made your heart pound hard enough to break out of your ribcage.

"Practising a very unique choreography right? On all fours as you let me wreck this slutty cunt?" His words were harsh, raw and dirty. He was taken over by some primal energy that made you weak.

"Tell me, kitten. Is this what you wanted?"

"Ngh, yes" You nodded frantically, your hands gripping the wooden floor for balance, but he was holding you fiercely. Moan after moan spilled out of your throat uncontrollably along with his harsh groans as hit each and every spot in you.

Ironically, the song 'Drive' was playing on the speakers, your eyes remained locked on your reflections, watching yourself getting mercilessly fucked by Lee Know from the behind.

"I won't let you go until the ending, Hold on tight as it speeds up"

It was like he was following the lyrics as he fucked you faster and harder, you watched yourself from the mirror, squealing and moaning, the floor bruising your knees, breasts bouncing, mouth open and tears streaming down your cheeks.

Lee Know's head was fallen back, his hand still around your neck and hair sticking on his damp sweat slicked forehead and so was yours. Your messy bun was now very loose, the strands falling on your face.

His eyes met yours again on the reflection, the two of you were in a sweaty mess, dripping with whimpers, moans and groans, the sloppy sounds of his cock going in and out of your cunt soaking the air.

"Oh, I'm, gosh,"

"Are you going to come for me again, kitten? Hmm?" He loosened his grip around your neck. "Go on, baby. Come."

With one final thrust, he hit your G-spot, you cried out coming all over his cock. Lee Know held you, slowing his pace and helped you ride out your earth shattering orgasm.

Your hand lost grip from the floor and you almost slipped but he held you before you fell, your velvet walls pulsing as your brain tried to process the high of your ecstatic climax.

Relentless thunder roared in Lee Know's chest as he came soon after you, groaning and cussing. It was almost the very last second but he pulled out of you, his cum shooting over your back and pussy. He came SO much that his cum spilled on the floor between your knees.

He quickly stood and pulled his shorts up, rushing towards the restroom and came back with tissues. He cleaned up the mess he made and wiped your thighs, holding you. And after you calmed down from your high, he helped you get back into your clothes.

Lee Know got up again and unplugged his phone from the speakers, you too slowly got up on your feet adjusting your pants and top but felt a sharp, throbbing ache pulsing through your knees and a slight soreness between your legs.

The last two hours replayed in your head again, every single detail vivid and etched in your brain.

"Are you okay?" Lee Know asked gently, turning to you as you came back to a steady breathing and fixed your hair, gulping down the remaining liquid from your water bottle.

"Yeah, I'm fine" The post-sex fog faded away, awkward tension began forming between the two of you. God how can you ever look at him the same anymore?

You two just fucked, not just anywhere but in the practice room, at the company with God knows who passed by or accidentally heard you both. A deep crimson bloomed on your cheeks, not out of fluster but out of embarrassment.

It was like Lee Know could read your mind and the concerned look spread across your face. He gently cupped your cheek making you meet his eyes, his usual cold face was replaced in a soft warmth.

"Hey, it's alright," Lee Know's fingers lingered as they tucked the strand of hair behind your ear, his touch surprisingly tender. The warmth in his eyes melted away the last of your embarrassment, his concern for you evident in the way he looked at you.

“Really, it’s okay,” He repeated, his voice low and soothing, as if he was trying to calm the storm of thoughts swirling in your mind.

“You don’t have to worry about anything.”

You bit your lip, still feeling a twinge of unease. “But…we’re at the company, if someone—”

Lee Know gently interrupted you by shaking his head. “No one’s going to find out. And even if they did, it’s none of their business. We’re both adults, and we made the choice together.”

His words were firm but comforting, and the way he spoke made it clear that he wasn’t just saying this to ease your mind—he genuinely believed it. The tension in your chest loosened, though the reality of what had just happened still felt surreal.

“It’s just… this isn’t something I ever imagined happening.” You admitted, the blush on your cheeks deepening.

“Me neither,” He confessed, his tone gentle, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek in a gesture that sent warmth flooding through you. “But I’m not regretting it. Are you?”

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of doubt, but all you found was sincerity. His question caught you off guard, making you pause. After a moment, you shook your head slowly. “No…I don’t regret it.”

The smile that spread across his face was small but genuine, a flash of relief in his eyes that made your heart skip a beat. “Good,” He murmured, his hand still cradling your cheek.

For a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, the practice room around you fading into the background. There was no awkwardness now, no embarrassment—just a quiet understanding and a shared feeling that had finally been acknowledged.

Lee Know’s hand moved from your cheek to the back of your neck, gently pulling you closer until your foreheads touched.

You closed your eyes and melted into the feel of him, your arms gripping his back, you pulled him to a tight hug. All the years of unconfessed feelings crept the hearts of the two of you, wrapping in the comfort of each other’s presence.

You pulled back reluctantly, but you knew time was stretching and you have to go catch up with your band mates. You looked into Lee Know's eyes one more time in a soft intensity.

"I have to get back to my dorm," You said, your voice almost as quiet as a whisper.

Lee Know nodded, a small smile tugging his lips. "Sure," He leaned down and placed a quick peck on your lips. You chuckled softly, the tension from earlier now a distant memory.

You returned his smile nodding and turned towards the door, walking to the exit.

"See you around, kitten" He said smirking, his usual personality returning.

You looked back at him, a tiny smirk of your own playing on your lips.

Enjoyed this one shot? Consider checking my masterlist for more. Requests? Check 𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 (& 𝚁𝚞��𝚎𝚜)

"See you around as well, Sunbae."

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Thank you for reading!

xx,

Ivyy

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Oh? What's this? Seems to be an AU crossover with The Monster Labs, by @etanow!

Now, sometimes I like to pretend that this AU is a playable game.

And what does a playable game have? LORE Limited time SKINS!

Endowed with the powers of a minor god, Caine's already outrageous ideas seems to stretch far, far, FAR beyond the horizon now.

It also seems that the Puppetmaster's become a little bit more of a cuckoo than his usual self; cackling like a mad scientist about to bring about either the next revolutionary discovery, or a massive city-wide explosion.

... Why is he giving Pomni so many flowers??

Tsk, tsk, tsk Pomni. You would think that the pain from battles would make one learn, but nope. Not this Harlequin.

Especially when it seems like she's speedrunning flipping the bird off of Death's face as many times as possible to show 'em who's boss. Now she's UNdead!

Good thing she doesn't eat robot brains too. I-I hope...

She's electric! Literally!

Ragatha's gotten quite the new look, and some new tricks at that too. The Artifact Collector herself seems to be more open to going outside all of a sudden; when she tended to be a recluse prior to the change.

Wonder if she's also more open to hugs that don't shock you?

A one of a kind special boss skin! Only available under specific circumstances. His attacks don't change nor add something new, it's just a cosmetic skin for The Mischievous Trickster Automaton fight. lmao

Special thanks to Audi/Eta for letting me do this! I kinda wanna do more AU crossovers when I can because this was very fun, so I may reach out to other AUs I really like :)

For now, I rest my bones........ I have done my job :3c

[moonstruckme]

Congrats on 8k!!! You deserve all the love and more <3 also the holiday/winter theme is so so so cute!! Literally cannot even begin to describe how much I adore you and your talent and the fact that you give back and share your wonderful writing with us makes me so unbelievably happy <3

Can I request a hot cocoa drabble with Remus and the prompt wrapping paper from the 2nd list? Much love to you!! And congratulations again!!

I adore you! Ty for requesting angel <3

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 653 words

You watch out of the corner of your eye as Remus carefully folds the wrapping paper over itself, lining the triangle up against the side of his box. He curses. 

You giggle. “How are you so regimented and so bad at this?” 

“Hush.” He rolls his eyes, reaching across you for the tape. “It’s fine.” 

“The label is showing,” you say, trying to be gentle but only hitting amused. “You can’t leave it like that, she’s gonna know what it is.” 

“I’ll cut a square of wrapping paper to cover that part.” 

“Another patch job?” You shake your head at him, grinning. “Rem, I can’t let you bring these to the function. They’re an embarrassment.” 

“The function,” says Remus, cutting through the wrapping paper with a pointed slice, “is already going to have gifts wrapped by James, which always look like he’s let Harry do them, and Sirius is most likely going to bring his in bags. I guarantee ours won’t be the worst there.” 

“It’s just a little embarrassing,” you murmur, really only teasing him. You start folding a ribbon into gentle curves on the top of your box. “I thought I had this really competent boyfriend, but…” 

“Didn’t I tell you to hush?” Remus asks, but his laughter betrays him. The light from your tree smoothes out the lines of his face, his eyes warm and glittering and lashes kissing at the corners. You wish suddenly that you had a camera on hand, but there’s no chance film could capture how perfectly happy he looks.

Remus smooths tape over his patch of wrapping paper with swift, vaguely menacing movements. “I’ll have you know, I am very competent,” he says. 

“It’s gonna take a knife to open that with all the tape on it,” you observe solemnly.

“I am very competent,” he repeats, and you suck in a breath when he locks his hands around your ankles, dragging you to him with one swift motion. You can forget how strong Remus is, sometimes. He’s not very physical usually, but you’ve riled him into playfulness. “You ask Lily tomorrow who the most competent man in her home is, and you get back to me on what she says, yeah?” 

“Well,” you’re giggling, caught under his stern gaze and bubbling with giddy anticipation, “if you limit it to the men, the bar can’t be very high. Lily and I are more competent than the three of you.” 

“How do you figure?” 

“You can look at my gifts, for starters.” 

Remus has an excellent poker face. He squeezes your calf at the jab, and your nervous giggling intensifies. “We’ll see how you feel about your competence when you make your own tea tomorrow.” 

“No wait! Wait.” You get into his lap, trying your hardest to school your features into some sort of contrition. Smooth your hands up and down his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I love you. Have I told you I love you lately?” 

“Not without ulterior motive,” Remus says drily. 

Your lips turn down in a real frown. “That’s not true.” 

“No.” He rolls his eyes, grunting as he pulls you further up his lap. “It’s not, lovely. What, you’re the only one who gets to tease?” 

“Mhm,” you hum, teasing. 

Remus chuffs like you’re something else, but his lips touching to your nose are gentle. “So what if I’m not the best at wrapping? You can’t make your own tea.” 

“I can…it’s just not as good as when you do it.” 

“Some could argue that’s a much more everyday sort of competence, dove.” 

You make a quiet scoff of protest, not very convincing. Remus smiles. His hands stroke your sides. 

“So. We’re going to put my gifts under James and Lily’s tree without complaint, hm?” 

You feel your nose wrinkle. “Without any complaint? I feel like some damage control is necessary.” 

“Remember your tea.” 

You sigh, rolling your eyes. “Right. No complaints here.”

[daenysx]

hi love !! could I request a james potter fic where fem reader meets his ex girlfriend who's like really pretty 😔 and james reassures her and stuff 🫶

thank you for requesting!! this is probably the most romantic thing i've ever written and i feel a bit shy about this, i hope you enjoy <33333

james potter x fem!reader, modern au

james looks so pretty under the sunset.

his locks shine with the light, his glasses reflect your admiring look, his lips are curved into a generous smile. he drinks his wine, casual sips as he tells you a story of a prank he did with the boys last year. you try to listen. you really do.

it's just that- your boyfriend is so lovely, you feel like your ears can't catch up enough to listen to him. he's gorgeous, you have a lovesick smile on your face, you wonder when james will realize you have no idea what he's saying.

he reaches for your hand on the table. you squeeze his fingers. he takes another sip from his wine.

"and then there was this dragon which ended up burning the entire thing, sirius was yelling like he's in a shakespeare play while remus was fainting in the corner-"

"what?" you ask suddenly. "why did he faint?"

james laughs so hard, you feel silly under his gaze. he mirrors your lovesick expression. "i just told you there was a dragon and you're wondering why remus fainted?"

"dragon? what do you mean, like- a movie?" you feel your brain shuts off completely.

"you know, you look so beautiful today." he says, coolly. "i mean, you're practically glowing, that's why i'll forgive you for not listening my story."

"i'm sorry, jamie." you say. "i was- distracted. tell me again, i promise i'll listen."

james kisses the back of your hand. "it wasn't that fun anyway. you didn't finish your pizza, angel, come on."

you take a bite from your pizza slice. you feel shy, he looks at you so sweetly. you decide not to tell him why you haven't been listening. maybe when it's just the two of you, but not in a restaurant because james has a tendency to make you blush hard, especially in public places.

"okay, but you have to tell it again sometim-"

"james?" your voice is interrupted by someone.

you look up from your plate to see a pretty woman looking at james, standing next to your table. she's gorgeous, you think there is no limit of a woman's beauty. you realize the charm of girls for sure, feeling the pride of girlhood. you give her an easy smile, thinking she's a friend of james.

"oh- hi." james says, surprised. "i wasn't expecting to see you."

the girl smiles to him. "i was just leaving, thought i'd say hello." she turns to you, introduces herself kindly. you return her smile, telling her your name.

james watches the interaction with a weird look on his face, you don't know why. "my friends are waiting, i have to go." the girl says. "it was nice to see you, james."

she bids you goodbye and you wave behind her, watching her joining her friends. you're still smiling slightly when you look at james.

the air surrounding your table changes somehow. you don't see it at first but james looks at you like he has something to say. he looks nervous and you hate seeing his pretty face wrinkling with a pinch of worry.

"are you okay, jamie?" you ask, worrying back.

"yeah, yeah, i'm- i'm okay."

he doesn't look okay.

"you look like you're gonna say something." you say, encouraging him with a smile.

"it's just- i mean it doesn't matter now, obviously but i think you still should know. i don't wanna hide anything from you."

"what is it, baby?" you ask, clearly distressed.

james holds your hand again. "that girl was my ex girlfriend, angel. we dated for a few weeks, then we decided we weren't right for each other and broke things off."

"oh." you say, not knowing how to react for a second.

"i know it can be weird for you but there's no need to hide anything. i haven't seen her since we broke up which was like a year and a half before i met you."

you squeeze his fingers. "it's not weird, i think." you say after a second. "i mean, was it a bad break up?"

james shakes his head. "no, not really." he answers. "but we didn't stay friends, we just went to our own paths. it wasn't all bad."

"i see." you say with a kind smile. "thanks for telling me."

james smiles back. "there's nothing i'd hide from you. no need for that."

you take a slow bite from your pizza. a sip from your nearly full glass. it's not that seeing james's ex is a terrible thing, you're adults and he's your boyfriend now. the girl was really nice too, she didn't do anything to bother you. it's just that-

she was really pretty. you imagine her with james for a second in your mind, they would objectively look beautiful as a couple. you can't help your thoughts wandering there, it's like an instinct. you wonder how you and james look. comparing yourself with people is not something you usually do, you learned it doesn't do you any good long ago. your eyes stare at the corner of the table as you think all of these, an empty look with a full mind behind.

"sweetheart?" james's voice comes like you're under the water. you look up to him, your fingers are wrapped around the cold glass. "are you okay?"

you nod. you're okay, why wouldn't you be?

"i'm okay." you say. "sorry, what were you saying?"

james smiles fondly. "you're thinking of something."

you can't find the words and then you can.

"it's nothing bad, it's just-" you start. "she was really beautiful. i was- i couldn't help but imagine you two."

james doesn't say anything and you feel like a weirdo. foolish girl.

"sorry." you laugh, it's not a natural look on your face this time. "i'm sorry, i'm being weird. you don't have to say anything."

"no, of course not." james says. "you're not being weird."

you look at him and he's so serious this time. your eyes are questioning the meaning of his expression.

"sweetheart." he starts when you don't say anything. "i don't care if she's pretty or not right now. it doesn't mean anything to me."

"yeah?" you ask, quietly.

"you think i can realize the beauty of other people when i literally have the most beautiful girl sitting here with me?" he asks. "do you believe i can pay attention to someone else when i have you?"

"you can always find people pretty, jamie." you say. "it's not-"

"i can, but i don't." he says firmly. "look, our break up wasn't terrible, but it was inevitable. she wasn't right for me and i wasn't right for her."

"and i'm right for you?" you ask with a small smile.

"you are right for me." he says. "no matter what happens, i think 'i would do anything to keep her.' anything to stay with you, anything to be with you. i have the urge to try harder every day to be your other half. i didn't have it with someone else before you."

and now you're smiling until your cheeks ache. it takes everything of your power to stop yourself from reaching across the table and kissing his lips. you extend a shaky hand to him instead, he takes it. it's the way he says the words, not like he's trying to prove something but like telling you the most basic facts about him. he has deep feelings for you and he's brave about them, he doesn't need to hide them.

"you know." you start, playing with his fingers. "the reason i couldn't hear the story of your prank was that you were too damn distracting. i look around and all i see is you. you are so pretty, i- i can't focus on anything else."

james kisses your knuckles. "aren't you my little romantic?"

"i guess i am." you reply, your lips curl upwards. "you made me this way. i can't help but feeling jealous over this, i think i want us to be special."

james drinks another sip of wine. you're trying to kill him aren't you? the sweet words, sunset, alcohol. his poor heart. he doesn't think he can take it.

"we are special." he manages to say. "i've never loved someone like i love you. i think i might have my heart explode out of love, do you know how that feels like?"

you chuckle sweetly. "yes." you say. "have you seen yourself? of course i know how that feels like."

"you are the prettiest girl everywhere we go." he says, casually. "i think i should prove that to you when we get home. i hate how you can think of something other than this."

you blush, touch the cold glass to relieve some warmth. "you can prove it, i guess."

"and now, i'll tell you the prank again." he says. "this time you gotta listen. close your eyes if my looks are too distracting."

you laugh, relieved that he changes the subject. the air is nice again, the dinner is nice and the wine is good. james's jokes are funnier than ever. his love confessions and endearing words make your eyes tear up with a huge smile on your face. you listen his prank and make sure you give him a good reaction.

[jazzyoranges]

Saw you take requests!! Can you do a fluffy Wednesday x Shape shifter!Reader (no smut please) where it's Wednesday's writing time but she can't think of ideas so reader turns into a cat and curls up on Wednesday's lap? Basically helping Wednesday by making sure Wednesday can't get up until she writes a chapter. Thanks!

Orange kitty - drabble

Wednesday Addams x fem!reader

Words: 0.8k

A/n: i feel like we as a fandom haven’t been putting the orange cat x black cat trope in enough fics. this is me advocating for orange cat!r

“I feel your eyes on me, (Y/n).”

“I’m not allowed to look at my friend anymore?”

“It’s distracting. You’re inhibiting me from writing.” Wednesday isn’t fully lying. She just doesn’t add how you give her an odd feeling. An odd feeling she doesn’t like.

“Aww, do I make you nervous, Wens?” You laugh, deciding to ignore the glare she sends your way

“Keep talking and I’ll remove your voice box.”

“Please, I think you’d miss me too much” You roll your eyes, stretching on Wednesday’s bed

You turn into a cat as per Thing’s request, and you two start to play tag around Wednesday and Enid’s shared room. Thing happily bragged that you and him were better friends once. His hubris only resulted in Wednesday taking away his favorite lotions for an entire week.

The Addams girl huffs when she, yet again, makes a mistake on her typewriter. This was unlike her. The tiny trash can under her desk was nearing being full only after one or two hours of her failed attempts at writing. Wednesday put her hands in her lap after she realized her words only became futile

The abrupt stop of clacking keys makes you turn your head, giving Thing the perfect opportunity to tag you back on Enid’s bed. You quickly turn human again with almost a cartoon-ish pop, and ask Thing if Wednesday was allergic to cats

“She’s not, why do you ask?” He signs

“Do you think she’d kill me if I sat on her lap?” You sign back, not wanting Wednesday to hear

“As a human, most definitely. But if you were a cat maybe she’d tolerate you. No promises, though” Thing somehow shrugs using his thumb and pinkie finger as arms. God, you loved the weird appendage

“I can hear you two talking. I’d prefer if you’d leave me in silence.”

“Writers block?”

“No, I’m merely thinking of the correct words to use.”

“Maybe you should ask Enid for help. The woman can reach over the Twitter character limit in like… three seconds. Two if she’s really excited”

“Recommend such a horrid idea again and I’ll release you in my pen of hellhounds.”

“We both know I’d win” You cockily smirk, again ignoring what looks to be annoyance on Wednesday’s face. Then again, she always looked annoyed

“Your hubris is laughable. Let’s see how you suffice when your digestive system is ripped open.”

“Tempting, but I’d rather stay here with you”

You can only assume Thing listens with watchful… fingers? You execute your plan to him, and a quick pinkie-promise indicates he gets to bury you if Wednesday decides to kill you after the stunt you’re about to pull

“Hey, Wens?” The Addams doesn’t show any form of talking but you decide to keep going

“Did you know people say cats can lessen anxiety?”

The Addams hums in acknowledgement, so you continue

“Well, I don’t exactly believe it”

“And why is that.” Wednesday sighs. Sometimes she wonders why she indulges in you

“I dunno, just seems fake. I was wondering if you’d do an experiment with me?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Great! Thanks, Wens” You give Thing a quick wink after turning into a cat and hopping up onto her desk. Turning your head to the side as if you were asking a question, you looked at Wednesday for an answer

You were crazy, but not crazy enough to do something to make Wednesday hate you

For some reason, the Addams girl doesn’t even have a second chance to think before scooting back her chair. You’re about to jump into her lap with a paw over the edge of her desk, but you glance up to make sure Wednesday was sure. You receive a small nod

The action is enough to make you whisper a small “thank you” but it only comes out as a small meow

You circle around her lap for a good area to lay, and you quickly take your spot with a tiny smile that makes your eyes close. Wednesday scoots her chair back in, and she has absolutely no idea what to do.

Only when you start to purr a shiver goes up her spine. The vibrations are light, and something about you happily laying on her lap makes you chip away at Wednesday’s walls the tiniest bit. She contemplates where to put her hands before Thing scurries on top of you to scratch behind your ear. Wednesday shoots him a deathly glare in return, but your favorite Addams (don’t tell Wednesday) stays put

As if showing Wednesday how to pet a cat, Thing gets off of your back and points a finger in your direction. Hesitantly, the Addams girl copies the actions Thing showed her

And you? You were having an amazing time. Wednesday’s fingers were cold but every stroke of her hand was calculated. She took note of which spots you purred louder, and continued her movements

Fuck you and your ability to get what you want, Wednesday thinks. Of course your smug ass knew cats lessened anxiety. Of course.

But Wednesday can’t help being addicted to your tiny purrs and vibrations

With her left hand fondling your ear and her right on her typewriter, she decides maybe a cat could be arranged in her novel.

[joelsrose]

Guns and Roses: Chapter 5

Masterlist

Summary: You wanted nothing to do with Joel, determined to keep your distance after everything that had happened. But when a new threat to Jackson arises, you're forced to put aside your anger and work together. What starts as a reluctant alliance quickly becomes a test of survival, pushing both of you to your limits and uncovering feelings that are impossible to ignore.

TW: swearing, blood, fighting, broken bones, mentions of death, insinuation of s***** abuse, knives, guns, being tied up and gagged, physical violence, blood

also in this story the dining hall has a bar in it to avoid confusion lmaoo - ALSO to everyone who hates joel i understand he is evil sometimes and reader will not forgive him easily i swear some of yall never want her to forgive him but this is a slow burn!! So pls accept some affection ok ily enjoy

13k words i know im crazy - enjoy

The cool night air hit your skin as you stumbled out into the darkness, but it did nothing to soothe the searing ache in your chest. Each breath came in ragged gasps, your cheeks slick with the tears that refused to stop. The world around you blurred, Jackson's streetlights turning into hazy, shimmering halos as you half-ran, half-staggered your way home. But no amount of distance could drown out the sound of Joel’s voice echoing in your mind—sharp, cutting, merciless: Always in the way. I could never be with someone like that.

The words played over and over, slicing deeper each time, as if trying to carve out whatever fragile hope you had let yourself hold onto. You crossed your arms tightly over your chest, as though the pressure alone could stop the hurt from swallowing you whole, but it was a losing battle. The more you tried to suppress it, the more it surged, threatening to burst out in uncontrollable sobs.

Why did I ever let myself believe things could be different? you wondered bitterly, swiping at your tear-streaked cheeks with trembling hands, the frustration twisting inside you like a knife.

Why did I let myself get close to him, let my guard down again?

You had clung to the small moments—his lingering gaze at the lake, the unexpected warmth in his touch—as if they meant something, as if he had really cared. But it was all an illusion, shattered in a single breath, a single sentence that now echoed like a cruel taunt.

The walk to your house seemed to stretch on forever, each step a reminder of how foolish you’d been, each breath another blow to your already bruised heart. It was embarrassing, too—knowing that Maria and Tommy had witnessed everything, that the entire bar had seen you storm out with tears streaking down your cheeks. You thought you’d grown past this—past letting anyone reduce you to a mess of trembling hands and tear-stained eyes. But here you were, crumbling under the weight of rejection, your mind spinning with a relentless torrent of what-ifs and should-haves.

Why did I ever think I could be more to him? You chastised yourself, your thoughts spiraling. Why did I let him in at all?

You reached your front door, your vision so blurred with tears that it took you several tries to fit the key into the lock. When the door finally gave way, you stumbled inside and shut it behind you, the latch clicking into place with a finality that only seemed to deepen the loneliness pressing down on you. Sliding down to the floor, you hugged your knees to your chest, burying your face as the sobs wracked your body. It was as if all the pain you'd been fighting to keep at bay had come crashing down at once, and now there was no holding back.

You cried until there were no more tears left to fall, until the ache in your chest was replaced by a hollow numbness.

Yet one thought remained, circling endlessly in your mind:

Why did I ever think I could be enough for him?

It wasn't just the pain of rejection—it was the devastation of having let yourself hope, only to be reminded of how small and insignificant you felt in the eyes of the person you had dared to let your guard down for. And that, more than anything, was a wound that cut too deep to heal.

•••

“What the hell was that, Joel?” Tommy’s voice cut through the lingering tension like a knife, sharper and angrier than Joel had heard in a long time. He took a step closer, his entire body rigid with fury. The broken glass still lay scattered across the floor, the beer pooling around the jagged shards, a stark reminder of what had just happened.

Joel rubbed a hand over his face, his voice rough and low as he spoke. “I didn’t know she was there,” he muttered, his gaze darting to the door you had fled through, as if he could will you back to explain himself. But he couldn’t meet Tommy's eyes; shame had already begun to settle like a heavy stone in his chest.

Tommy threw his hands up, the gesture dripping with exasperation. “Well, she was,” he snapped, his voice climbing with each word. “Jesus, Joel, when did you turn into such a goddamn asshole?” He raked his fingers through his hair, the frustration etched in every line of his face. “She didn’t deserve that—none of it—especially after everything.” His voice faltered at the end, the anger breaking, revealing a raw edge of something deeper, something more personal.

Joel’s frustration flared, his hands curling into fists. “You kept pushin' me on it, Tommy!” he shot back, his tone edged with defensiveness. “I didn’t—”

“Stop,” Maria interjected sharply, stepping forward with a look that was equal parts anger and disappointment. Her gaze flicked down to the shattered glass at their feet before locking onto Joel, her voice hardening. “That’s not an excuse, Joel. You didn’t just hurt her—you broke her.” The word hung in the air, sharp as a knife, cutting through the tension and daring him to look away.

Joel's jaw clenched, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he searched for any justification, any explanation that could make sense of what he’d just done. But the words wouldn’t come. The truth was lodged too deep, tangled in a place he didn’t know how to reach without tearing himself open. His throat tightened, and he swallowed hard, the weight of Maria's words landing like a blow. “I didn’t mean to hurt her,” he said quietly, his voice raw and unsteady. “I just—” But even as he spoke, the rest of the sentence seemed to slip away, lost in the silence that followed.

“Then why did you?” Maria's voice softened, though the disappointment still lingered in her eyes. She tilted her head, studying his face as if searching for answers in the lines of his furrowed brow and the shadows beneath his eyes. “What is your problem with her, Joel? Because from where I’m standing, your words and your actions don’t add up.” Her gaze deepened, probing further as his head hung low, the weight of guilt pulling him down. “I saw you at the lake today—whatever’s going on between you two, it’s not nothing. But you keep pushin’ her away, like you’re scared of what’ll happen if you don’t.”

Joel's mind raced, the weight of his mistake pressing down harder with every breath. His hands dropped to his sides, clenching and unclenching in a futile search for something solid to grasp, but they felt heavy and useless. His gaze stayed fixed on the broken glass scattered at his feet, but all he could see was the look on your face, replaying in his mind like a wound that refused to close. He had to physically squeeze his eyes shut, as if trying to block out the image that had seared itself into his memory.

What the hell was wrong with him?

Tommy’s voice broke through the tense silence, softer now but edged with a grim finality. “You better figure your shit out, Joel,” he said, his tone carrying a weight that made the words hit harder. His finger pointed sharply, underscoring the gravity of what he was saying. “Find a way to make this right, because if you don’t, you’re not just losin’ her. You’re losin’ us, too.” There was a quiet threat woven into his words, an ultimatum that laid bare all the bridges Joel was dangerously close to burning.

Tommy's words landed like a punch to the gut, leaving Joel reeling. He gave a small, almost imperceptible nod, his thoughts churning with a mix of regret and something that twisted in his stomach, making him feel sick. But as his gaze fell back to the mess of shattered glass and spilled beer, a grim determination took hold. One thing was certain: he had to find a way to fix this, no matter what it took.

•••

You couldn’t say how long it had been since that night at the Tipsy Bison. The days bled into one another, a blurry procession of empty hours, each blending seamlessly into the next. The only sign that time was still moving was the growing pile of empty cups and plates cluttering your side table—a silent testament to how deeply you’d withdrawn from the world outside. You ignored the calls, the handwritten notes Maria slipped under your door, and even the bowl of fruit Ellie had left on your porch, topped with a cartoon dinosaur exclaiming, “Get up, ya fossil!” It had made you smile, if only for a fleeting second, before the familiar heaviness sank back in. Ellie, blissfully unaware of the events that had unfolded between you and Joel.

You knew you shouldn’t have shut them out. Maria, Tommy, Ellie—they hadn’t done anything wrong. They were your family, the closest people you had in this place. But you couldn’t bring yourself to respond, couldn’t summon the strength to open the door and face their concern. Because if you did, you might have to admit that you weren’t okay.

And the truth was, you weren’t.

You hadn’t left the house in days. The thought of stepping outside, of running into him, twisted your stomach into knots. Some might call it pathetic, and maybe it was—maybe you were hiding from a problem that you should have confronted head-on. But every time you even thought about walking out that door, the memory of Joel’s voice—his cold, dismissive tone—resonated in your mind like a bitter echo, sending you spiraling back into the hurt you’d been trying so hard to avoid.

How could you face the world when his words were still fresh in your ears, like open wounds you couldn’t heal? Always in the way. I could never be with someone like that. They looped in your mind, over and over, until the doubt became something almost tangible, wrapping around your heart like a vine, squeezing the life out of it. You had started to wonder if he was right—if you were a burden, someone who didn’t belong.

So you stayed inside, pacing the small space until you knew every creaking floorboard by heart, staring out the windows as the sunlight shifted across the room, bringing with it the constant reminder that life outside was moving on without you.

Maria had left notes, her handwriting slanted and rushed, as if written between tasks. “We miss you, please call,” one had read. You’d crumpled it in your fist the day you found it, but hadn’t been able to throw it away. It still sat on the table, a small, wrinkled reminder of the people who were trying to reach you. Tommy had come by too, knocking softly and calling your name, his voice gentle. You hadn’t answered. Not because you didn’t want to, but because you couldn’t bear the thought of opening the door and seeing pity in his eyes.

But despite all of their gestures—Maria’s notes, Tommy’s knocks, Ellie’s quirky little gifts—he hadn’t come to see the mess he’d made. Joel Miller hadn’t made any effort to check on you, to face the aftermath of the hurt he had caused. That, in some twisted way, almost made it worse. It was like you weren’t even worth the apology, as if your hurt didn’t matter. The silence from him was deafening, each day that passed without so much as a word deepened the wound.

It felt deliberate. Like he’d said what he needed to say, like he’d hurt you on purpose, and then walked away, leaving you to pick up the pieces alone.

You were angry—no, furious—not just at him, but at how thoroughly he had managed to upend your entire life. Before Joel, things made sense. You had your place here; Jackson was a sanctuary, a place where you could heal, and Tommy and Maria were the family you had chosen. But now, because of him, everything felt off-balance, as if the ground had shifted beneath your feet. Ever since you met him, the way you saw yourself had completely changed, and you hated it. You couldn’t even face the people you loved, not when the thought of running into him hung over every decision like a dark cloud, suffocating any sense of normalcy you’d tried to hold onto.

The worst part wasn’t just that he had dismissed you so easily—it was that you had allowed him to get close enough to hurt you in the first place. You had let down your guard, let yourself almost believe in him, and in doing so, you’d given him just enough space to break you. Now, you were paying the price for that mistake, and it was a steep one. It felt as if he’d reached inside your chest and torn out the part of you that still dared to hope for something more, leaving behind a hollow ache where that hope used to live.

You had decided you were done with Joel Miller.

Done with his gruff indifference, done with trying to make sense of the rare, fleeting moments when he seemed to care, only for him to snatch it all away the next moment. You couldn’t keep going back and forth, couldn’t keep letting yourself hope for something that was never going to happen.

You were done giving him the chance to hurt you again.

•••

It was almost as if they had planned an intervention. Tommy and Maria knocked on your door, and even though you didn’t answer, it didn’t stop them. They knew you too well; knew you wouldn’t let them in, but they came prepared.

The sound of the door creaking open downstairs carried up to your room, followed by Maria’s voice—playful yet edged with firmness. “You shouldn’t leave a pregnant woman waiting,” she called out, her footsteps echoing in the quiet as they made their way through the house, up the stairs, and down the hall to where you lay.

You were sprawled out on your bed, the blinds shut tight, casting a dim, muted glow over the room. It was stifling, the air thick with your despair. When Tommy and Maria entered, they took in the sight of you: hair unkempt, eyes shadowed with exhaustion, the same clothes you’d been wearing for days clinging to you. The blankets were tangled around you, a pile of untouched books and empty mugs crowding your bedside table. You hadn’t even bothered to pick up the crumpled note Maria had slipped under the door days ago, which now lay discarded on the floor.

Tommy’s gaze swept over you, his expression hardening with concern. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered under his breath, his voice just loud enough for you to hear. He stepped closer, kneeling by the bed as if he could physically draw you out of whatever dark place you had sunk into. “Hey, kid,” he said, his voice softer now, but heavy with worry. “How are you?”

You didn’t respond at first, your eyes flicking up to meet his before dropping away again. “What are you guys doing here?” you mumbled, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself as if it could shield you from their concern.

Maria hovered in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest, her brow creased with worry. She took in the state of the room—the mess, the dimness, the weight of defeat hanging over you—and sighed. “Just checking up on you,” she said gently, her voice laced with that familiar warmth. “We’re worried.”

Tommy nodded, exchanging a quick glance with Maria before turning back to you. “How about we go out tonight, huh?” he suggested, his tone striving for lightness even as the concern slipped through. “Just dinner—nothing fancy, I promise. But you need to get some fresh air.” His brow furrowed slightly, the worry deepening in his eyes. “Have you been eating?”

“Yeah, let’s get you out for a bit,” Maria added, stepping closer to your bedside and gently brushing a few strands of hair from your face. “It’ll be good to get some fresh air, get out of this dark room for a while.” She tried to offer an encouraging smile, but there was a quiet plea in her eyes, a silent insistence that told you they weren’t leaving without you.

You hugged your knees to your chest, turning your face away from their worried expressions. The thought of going out felt overwhelming, like stepping back into a world you weren’t ready to face. It wasn’t just about Joel anymore; it was about everything—the quiet hurt that had seeped into the cracks, the loneliness that had settled over you like a heavy fog these past weeks. It felt easier to stay in the safety of this dark room than to confront everything waiting for you on the other side of the door.

“I don’t know…” You trailed off, the words catching in your throat.

Tommy leaned in a little closer, his voice soft but resolute. “Come on, kid. Just one dinner, that’s all we’re asking,” he coaxed, his tone carrying a gentle insistence. “You don’t have to say a word if you don’t feel like it. We just miss you, that’s all.” There was a quiet sincerity in his eyes, a warmth that reached out to you even as you pulled further inward.

You didn’t need to ask if Joel would be there; you already knew he wouldn’t. They wouldn’t put you through that—not after everything that had happened. But as you hesitated, the anxiety was clear in your eyes, and they noticed the way your fingers tightened around the edge of the blanket, clinging to it like a lifeline.

Tommy cleared his throat, a reassuring tone creeping into his voice. “He’s on patrol,” he said, as if that settled the matter, not even needing to mention Joel’s name for you to know exactly who he meant. “He won’t be around tonight. You don’t have to worry.” His words hung in the air, offering a small measure of comfort, a quiet assurance that at least one thing would be a little easier to face.

You nodded slowly, the tight knot of anxiety in your chest loosening just a little. The thought of facing Joel was still too raw, too close to the surface, but maybe—just maybe—you could manage to face Tommy and Maria. They were trying to help you, reaching out with open hands to pull you out of this darkness, and it wasn’t fair to keep shutting them out. They didn’t deserve to be kept at arm’s length when all they’d done was care.

“Okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Just dinner.”

Maria's relief was palpable as she gave you a small, reassuring smile, squeezing your hand gently. “Just us tonight,” she promised. “No surprises.”

It should have comforted you, and in a way, it did. But even as you nodded, a shadow of doubt clung to you, the world beyond your door still seeming too bright, too unforgiving. No matter how hard you tried to push it away, the ghost of Joel Miller lingered in the corners of your mind, a reminder of everything you were trying to forget.

But maybe tonight, you could let it go—even if just for a little while.

•••

Dinner was at the dining hall, where the familiar buzz of conversation and the clink of glasses filled the air. You sat at a small wooden table, dimly lit by the flickering glow of candlelight that cast soft shadows across the room. You didn’t say much, and that seemed fine by Tommy and Maria, who carried the conversation with an easy rhythm, filling the silence for you.

The meal was simple but comforting: steaming bowls of hearty stew with a side of freshly baked bread. Tommy and Maria seemed content just to see you eating, casting the occasional glance your way as you slowly picked at your food. Tommy's grin widened as he spoke about the baby, his excitement palpable even though it was still too early for Maria to be showing. His hand rested lightly on her arm, and he beamed like a proud father already, talking about all the things he couldn’t wait to teach their child—fishing, horseback riding, even passing on his collection of bad jokes that made Maria roll her eyes but secretly smile.

You found yourself quietly listening, letting their warmth and hope wrap around you like a safety net, offering a small reprieve from the heaviness that had been weighing you down. For just a moment, you allowed yourself to sink into their joy, let the sound of their voices ease the ache in your chest. You could almost feel the tension slipping away, replaced by the comfort of their laughter and lighthearted banter. Just for a moment, you allowed yourself to forget—forget about the heaviness pressing on your heart, forget about Joel and all the hurt that came with him.

But then, the door to the dining hall swung open, and the moment shattered.

There he was—Joel. He looked awful, with dark circles under his eyes that suggested he hadn’t slept in days, and his hair was a mess, sticking out in uneven tufts as though he’d been raking his fingers through it in frustration. His beard was thicker and more unruly than usual, as if he’d stopped bothering to trim it, letting it grow out in uneven patches.

The mere sight of him sent your heart plummeting to the floor. He hadn’t seen you yet, hadn’t even glanced in your direction as he stood at the bar, his broad shoulders and familiar figure casting a long shadow over the room. He was nursing a whiskey, his back turned to you, and there was something about the way he stood—his frame tense and hunched, as if he were carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders—that made it impossible to look away. The sight of him was a punch to the gut, stirring up everything you’d tried so hard to bury.

Your hand trembled, and the fork slipped from your grasp, clattering onto the plate with a loud clink that seemed to echo through the room. Maria’s eyes darted toward you, concern flickering across her face as she followed your gaze. Slowly, she turned until her eyes landed on Joel, standing alone at the bar, his back still turned.

“Tommy…” Maria whispered, her voice tense and low, a quiet urgency in the way she said his name.

Tommy, who had been caught up in the conversation, turned in his seat to look over his shoulder. His easy smile faded the second he spotted Joel. His brow furrowed as he watched the scene, and he shifted in his seat, angling himself to block your view as if to shield you from the sight.

Maria leaned in close, her voice soft and urgent. “We can leave, honey,” she murmured. “He hasn’t seen us yet. We can duck out before he notices.” Her hand rested lightly on your arm, ready to guide you away, offering a quiet escape from the situation unraveling before you.

Tommy nodded in agreement, his voice gentle but edged with concern. “Yeah, we can head somewhere else. Go back to ours, maybe?” He kept his gaze on you, ready to leave at a moment’s notice, his worry evident in the way he searched your face for any sign of what you needed.

But you shook your head, swallowing hard against the lump forming in your throat. “No,” you said, the word coming out firmer than you’d expected. “I’m not letting him ruin our night.” There was a defiance in your voice, a spark that flared up despite the heaviness in your chest. You weren’t going to let Joel take this from you, not when you’d finally managed to step outside and try to find some normalcy again.

Maria’s hand tightened around yours, and she exchanged a worried glance with Tommy, but neither of them pushed further. You tried to focus on your meal, but your appetite had long since disappeared, the bitter sting of seeing Joel even from across the room making it impossible to ignore the knot tightening in your chest.

You bit your lip, forcing yourself to swallow the flood of emotions threatening to rise. “I’ll be fine,” you whispered, more to reassure yourself than them. But even as you said the words, you couldn’t help but feel the undeniable truth that Joel Miller had already changed everything—and you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to forgive him for it.

As the night wore on, you found yourself glancing over at the bar again, despite your best efforts to focus on anything else. Joel had turned slightly, his profile now visible. His expression was a mix of exhaustion and something else you couldn’t quite place.

It was infuriating—how he could be there, so close yet so distant, as if nothing had happened, as if you weren’t sitting just a few feet away, struggling to hold yourself together. The sight of him drinking alone, looking every bit the picture of the gruff, haunted man he always seemed to be, made your heart clench with a confusing mix of anger and something else you weren’t ready to name.

You turned back to Tommy and Maria, who were watching you closely, their faces etched with concern. You forced a smile, tried to push the emotions back down, and focused on the easy conversation again. But even as you pretended not to care, you couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard you tried, Joel Miller had already woven himself into your life, and there was no going back.

“I’m full,” you said, pushing your plate aside with a dismissive gesture.

Then, a determined edge crept into your voice. “Let’s get drunk.”

It was as if you were daring the night to offer you something else to focus on, something to drown out the thoughts swirling in your mind. Maria and Tommy shared a brief, uncertain look, but they didn’t argue. Maria gave a small nod, and Tommy signaled for another round, silently agreeing to let you decide how the rest of the night would go.

•••

The alcohol dulled the sharp edges of the hurt that had lingered for weeks, numbing the ache in your chest and quieting the voice in your head that kept replaying his words. Deep down, you knew it wasn’t the healthiest way to cope, but right now, you didn’t care. It was working, and that was all that mattered.

Yet, every time you caught sight of Joel—alone in the corner, nursing his drink with a distant look in his eyes—it sent a fresh wave of anger and hurt crashing through you. He hadn’t seen you yet, oblivious to your presence, which somehow made it worse. It wasn’t fair that he could sit there as if nothing had happened, like he hadn’t shattered your heart and left you to pick up the pieces. It wasn’t fair that he seemed so at ease while you were struggling to keep yourself from falling apart, each breath feeling like a battle you weren’t sure you were winning.

You threw yourself into the night—into the drinks, the laughter, and the comforting noise that filled the bar. As you scanned the room, your gaze landed on a familiar face: Sam, one of the residents Tommy had tried to set you up with a few months ago. You hadn’t given him a chance back then, though it wasn’t because he wasn’t attractive. He was—tall and lean, with dark hair that fell messily across his forehead, a boyish grin, and a dusting of freckles that stretched across his cheeks like a constellation. His crooked smile had a way of lighting up his entire face when he laughed, giving him an easy charm that was hard to ignore.

Back then, you’d been too fragile, nursing wounds that hadn’t even started to heal. The idea of dating felt impossible, even unfair—like dragging someone else into the mess of your heartache. So when Tommy had suggested introducing you to Sam, you’d politely declined, knowing deep down that you weren’t ready to let anyone in.

But now, seeing Joel across the bar—his presence stirring up the hurt you were barely managing to keep at bay—awoke something reckless inside you. You wanted him to notice you, to see you with someone else, to know that his words hadn’t broken you. Even if he didn’t want you, you wanted to show him that someone did, that you weren’t just the damaged person he’d left behind - broken and bruised.

The dim lighting of the bar and the haze of alcohol softened the edges of Sam’s face, giving his eyes a darker, more inviting warmth. There was a quiet confidence about him, an easy charm that almost dared you to take a chance on something new. In that moment, all you wanted was to feel desired—by someone who didn’t see you as a burden. Maybe it was impulsive, maybe it was even a little spiteful, but you couldn’t shake the need for Joel to see it.

You leaned closer to Tommy, doing your best to keep your voice steady despite the adrenaline coursing through you. “Hey,” you said, nodding subtly in Sam’s direction. “See that guy over there?”

Tommy followed your gaze, his eyebrows lifting in surprise when he spotted Sam. “Sam?” he asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, that’s him. What about it?”

You shrugged, aiming for casual even as your pulse raced. “Think you could introduce me?”

Tommy’s surprise gave way to a slow, knowing smile. “Well, well,” he chuckled, the amusement clear in his tone. “Looks like you’ve had a change of heart.”

“Maybe,” you replied, forcing a playful smile to your lips. “Figured it’s worth a shot.”

Without missing a beat, Tommy waved Sam over, and you watched as he navigated his way through the crowd toward your table. Your heart pounded with a mix of nerves and anticipation—not just because you were about to meet Sam, but because you were keenly aware that at some point, Joel’s gaze would inevitably land on the two of you. There was a certain thrill in that thought, a defiance simmering just beneath the surface. You wanted him to see this, to see you moving on from his words, even if it was just for show.

As Sam approached, you straightened in your seat, a more confident smile spreading across your lips.

For once, you wanted to be the one in control, to be the one who chose to walk away on your own terms.

•••

Sam was kind, cute, and effortlessly charming—the kind of guy who could put anyone at ease. As he settled into the chair across from you, his crooked grin and playful eyes made slipping into the rhythm of conversation almost too easy. He had a way of making you laugh, keeping the mood light and flirty, even as the drinks you’d had earlier started to blur the edges of the night. But beneath the surface, something was missing. You could sense it, a faint tug deep inside, reminding you that despite his charm, you didn’t feel anything real. It was as though you were going through the motions, trying to convince yourself of a spark that simply wasn’t there.

“So,” Sam said, raising his drink with a playful glint in his eye, “Tommy tells me you’re quite the rider. I guess I’ll have to see for myself one of these days.”

You shrugged, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. “I’m alright,” you replied, your tone carrying a hint of challenge. “But I’m not exactly volunteering to give you any lessons.”

He chuckled, leaning in closer, his gaze sweeping over you with a clear spark of interest. “Well, I suppose I’ll just have to earn that, then,” he said, his voice dropping to a low murmur, adding a quiet heat to his words that lingered in the air between you.

It was obvious he was into you.

His hand lingered on your arm, his eyes glinting with something more than casual interest, and his attention never wavered from you. A part of you welcomed it—the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the room. It felt good to be seen, to be desired, even if only for a night.

You wished his words had an effect on you, wished they stirred the butterflies caged in your stomach. But the flutter never came, and you could only feel the emptiness where that spark was supposed to ignite. There was a hollowness there, an emptiness that no amount of attention from Sam could fill. The ache inside you hadn’t faded; it had merely dulled to a hum in the background.

You glanced away from Sam, and your eyes found Joel once more. He was still at the bar, in the same spot he'd occupied for what felt like hours, nursing a whiskey. But now, he wasn’t alone. A blonde woman—pretty, with an easy smile—had appeared beside him, leaning in close, her hand lightly resting on his arm as she spoke. The sight sent a pang through your chest, a sharp reminder of how everything had unraveled. It wasn’t quite jealousy—it was something darker, a bitter realization that while you were struggling to pick up the pieces, he seemed to be doing just fine.

Maybe that was the type of woman Joel preferred. What did it matter? You told yourself it didn’t, but the truth was painfully clear—it did. The thought twisted in your chest, pushing you to act.

“Let’s dance,” you said abruptly, shoving back your chair and reaching for Sam’s hand, desperate to be anywhere but sitting still, anywhere that would let you forget, even if just for a moment.

Sam grinned, springing to his feet as if he’d been waiting for you to make the first move. He followed you onto the small dance floor, where only a handful of others swayed to the music. His hands settled on your hips, pulling you closer as the beat pulsed through the dimly lit room. For a few moments, you let yourself get lost in the rhythm, the thrum of the music, and the warmth of the liquor coursing through your veins. Sam guided you, his body pressing closer with each sway, his breath warm against your cheek as he leaned in.

As you spun around, the world blurred, but through the haze of lights and music, you caught sight of Joel across the bar. Everything else seemed to fall away. His gaze was locked on you, dark and unflinching, with an intensity that sent a jolt through your veins. It wasn’t the indifferent, dismissive look you’d grown used to; it was raw and unguarded, as though he couldn’t quite mask whatever was simmering just beneath the surface. Anger, jealousy, hurt—you couldn’t tell, but the emotion was unmistakable, etched in the hard line of his jaw and the darkness of his eyes. It reached across the room, pulling you into its grip, and a shiver raced down your spine, leaving a trail of heat in its wake.

For a moment, the room around you seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you locked in a silent, electric exchange. Joel's gaze seared into you, and your pulse quickened, a volatile mix of defiance and something far more tangled swelling in your chest. You didn’t even know what you were hoping to find in his eyes—regret, maybe, or longing—but there was something there, something that made it hard to breathe.

Without thinking, you turned and grabbed Sam, pulling him into a kiss. He hesitated, surprised for a heartbeat, but then leaned into it, his hands tightening around your waist as if he’d been waiting for this all night.

When you finally broke away, your gaze flicked back to Joel, and for a heartbeat too long, you held his stare. He had seen everything—every movement, every breath—and you knew he hadn’t missed the way you had thrown yourself into Sam's arms, as if trying to prove something. To him, to yourself—you weren’t sure.

And then, just like that, Joel was gone, slipping through the back door and vanishing into the night before you could fully register the emptiness left in his wake.

Sam’s voice broke through your thoughts, concern softening his tone. “Everything okay?” he asked, leaning in closer to catch your eye.

You forced a smile, hoping it didn’t look as brittle as it felt. “Yeah,” you lied. “I’m fine. Let’s keep dancing.”

You kept dancing with Sam, but the moment Joel disappeared from the bar, the illusion of control you had clung to crumbled, leaving you feeling hollow. The music pulsed around you, Sam's hands gripped your waist, and yet it felt all wrong—like you were trying to use him as a lifeline, but the rope had already frayed. You needed air, needed to escape the suffocating haze that seemed to cling to you.

“Let’s go outside for a bit,” you said abruptly, pulling away from Sam.

“Sure,” he replied, his eyes glinting with anticipation, as if he thought this was the moment things would get interesting.

You stumbled into the cool night air, your head heavy from the alcohol and the heat of the bar. You scanned the surroundings, your gaze flicking around for Joel—pathetic as it was, some part of you couldn’t stop searching for him. But he wasn’t there, and you weren’t sure whether that made it better or worse. The sharp breeze did little to soothe the chaos roiling inside you.

Sam was close behind, his footsteps crunching on the gravel. Before you could say anything, he was already there, his hands gripping your waist as he pressed himself closer.

“Let’s find somewhere private,” he murmured, his lips grazing your ear as his fingers tightened around you.

Your body tensed, a cold dread slithering down your spine. “Sam… wait,” you said, your voice barely a breath. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

He chuckled, a rough, dismissive sound that sent a shiver down your spine, making your skin prickle with unease. His grip tightened as he shoved you back against the wall, the cold surface pressing into your shoulders. “C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice hardening with a dangerous edge. “You’ve been all over me tonight. Hell, you just kissed me. Don’t act like you’re not asking for this.” The words dripped with entitlement, twisting the air around you into something dark and suffocating.

Your thoughts swam, disoriented by the alcohol and the sudden, unsettling shift in his tone. It was like a jolt of ice water spilling over you—the stark realization that he wasn’t the charming, kind guy you’d thought he was. His hands moved lower, rougher, pinning you against the wall as panic clawed its way up your throat. You struggled to gather your bearings, but the situation seemed to close in around you, suffocating and dark. Where the hell was Tommy? you thought desperately, your pulse thundering in your ears.

“Stop it, Sam,” you pleaded, your voice trembling with fear. “I said no.”

But he didn’t stop. His mouth grazed your neck, and his grip tightened painfully, digging into your skin as he leaned in closer. “God, you’re all the same,” he sneered, his breath hot and foul against your ear. “Act all innocent, but deep down—”

This can’t be happening. Panic surged through you as you tried to push him away, but your arms felt like lead, your mind clouded and sluggish.

“Get your fucking hands off her.”

The voice sliced through the night like a blade, low and vibrating with barely contained fury. Before you could even process what was happening, Sam was wrenched away from you, his body hitting the ground with a brutal thud.

Joel.

He loomed over Sam, his chest heaving, every muscle tense with rage. His fists were already clenched, knuckles white under the dim light. “She told you to back off,” Joel growled, his voice a dangerous rumble that seemed to shake the very air around you. His eyes burned with a fury so raw it was almost terrifying.

Sam scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide with a volatile mix of anger and fear. “What the hell is your problem, old man?” he spat, stumbling back as he tried to regain his footing. His lip curled into a sneer, a flash of defiance in his gaze. “Go to hell,” he snarled, and without a second thought, he swung his fist at Joel.

The punch connected, snapping Joel’s head to the side, but he barely flinched. In an instant, he surged forward, seizing Sam by the collar and driving him down onto the gravel with a bone-rattling force. The crack of Sam’s head against the ground echoed sharply in the still night air.

Joel didn’t hesitate.

He dropped to his knees, pinning Sam beneath him as he unleashed a barrage of brutal blows—once, twice—the sickening thud of bone meeting flesh reverberating through the darkness. Blood sprayed across the gravel, and Sam’s body began to go limp, his resistance fading under the relentless, punishing force of Joel’s fists. But Joel didn’t let up, a feral rage burning in his eyes as each strike landed with merciless precision, as if he were trying to erase the very memory of Sam's touch.

“Joel, stop!” you screamed, your voice desperate and raw, but it was as if he didn’t hear you. His rage had taken over, his eyes dark and wild, completely consumed.

At last, Joel grabbed a fistful of Sam's shirt, yanking him up until their faces were mere inches apart.

“If you ever come near her again,” he snarled, his voice low and rough with barely restrained fury, “I swear to God, I will fuckin' kill you.” His words dripped with venom, a promise as much as a threat. Then he shoved Sam away, letting him crumple back onto the gravel in a limp, trembling heap.

Panting heavily, Joel straightened, the fury that had consumed him moments ago ebbing away as his gaze fell on you. The sight of you—pressed against the wall, cheeks streaked with tears, your entire body trembling—seemed to drain the fight out of him in an instant.

Concern flashed in his eyes, raw and unguarded, chased swiftly by regret. His hands, bloodied and still shaking at his sides, hung there uselessly, as if unsure of what to do. All he wanted was to reach out and cradle your face in his hands, to wipe away the tears and assure himself that you were okay. But he stayed rooted where he was, afraid to cross the distance, afraid he might break whatever fragile thing existed between you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low and rough with emotion, a jarring contrast to the violence that had just shattered the night. The tenderness in his tone was almost painful, as though each word scraped against something deeper that he couldn’t quite bring himself to say. His eyes searched yours with a desperation he couldn’t hide, needing to know that you weren’t as broken as he felt.

But the space between you seemed to grow, an unspoken divide filled with all the things left unsaid—the reckless rage, the bruised history, and the unbearable longing he could never quite put into words. His hands trembled with the urge to reach for you, to close the gap, but instead, he stayed frozen, the ache in his chest echoing in the silence between you both.

The question hit you like a blow. How dare he act like he cared now, after everything he’d put you through? The ghost of Sam’s touch still clung to your skin, making your stomach twist with revulsion, and the adrenaline surged bitterly in your throat.

“Fuck off, Joel,” you snapped, your voice cracking as you scrubbed at your tear-streaked cheeks. “I don’t need you to protect me. I don’t need you to save me.” The words came out sharper than you intended, but you didn’t care. Anger burned behind every syllable, masking the pain that roiled beneath.

Joel’s expression tightened, his jaw clenching as a flicker of hurt crossed his eyes before he could bury it. “He was gonna—” he started, his voice rough, as if he was struggling to explain himself.

“I don’t care,” you cut him off, your voice trembling with fury and something deeper, something you refused to name. “You don’t get to just swoop in and play the hero after treating me like I was nothing.” Your breath hitched, words breaking apart like shattered glass. “You don’t get to decide when I need saving, or when I need anything from you.” Each word tasted bitter on your tongue, leaving a raw ache in your throat as they spilled out.

Joel’s face tightened, frustration simmering just below the surface. “You’re drunk,” he said quietly, almost like he was trying to convince himself as much as you. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you shot back, your voice cracking. The tremor in your hands betrayed you, giving away the storm raging inside as you struggled to hold back the tears. “Just like you knew what you were doing when you said those things.” The sob that escaped your throat made the words rough and ragged, but you forced yourself to keep going.

“You can’t treat me like garbage one day and then show up the next, acting like you give a damn.” Your breath shuddered, your voice breaking again.

“I don’t need your pity, Joel. I don’t need anything from you.”

The words hung in the air, sharp and unforgiving, and you saw the way they hit him by the way his expression faltered, his eyes narrowing as if he were bracing himself against the blow. But he didn’t fight back, didn’t offer a single word in his defense. He just stood there, his breath heavy and uneven, the night swallowing up whatever he might have said. The look in his eyes was haunted, as though he knew he deserved every bit of your anger and more.

You didn’t wait for him to recover. Without another glance, you turned on your heel, stumbling toward the entrance of the dining hall. Each step felt unsteady, the warm night air doing nothing to clear the fog in your mind. It was as if the world had narrowed down to just you and the echo of your own ragged breaths, the silence growing louder and louder the further you walked from him.

Something had broken between you and Joel—something fragile that had barely held together to begin with. It splintered under the weight of all the hurt, leaving shards you weren’t sure could ever be mended. And as you walked away, a voice whispered in the back of your mind, small and bitter: Was there ever anything worth salvaging at all? The question lingered, twisting painfully in your chest, as the distance between you and Joel stretched wider with each faltering step.

•••

A few days had passed since the night outside of the dining hall—since Joel had saved you, yet again. But the anger hadn’t faded; if anything, it had deepened, festering like an open wound that refused to heal. You replayed the events over and over in your mind—the shame, the fear, the helplessness.

It was a vicious cycle, one that left you feeling more fractured with each passing day.

Your thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the sharp ring of the phone. You snatched it up, the tension already twisting in your gut. The voice on the other end was laced with urgency.

"Hey, we got a big problem," Tommy’s voice crackled through the line, sounding uncharacteristically frazzled.

Your stomach dropped. “What is it, Tommy?”

“Some of our patrol didn’t make it back.” His voice was grim, a heavy silence hanging in the air. “They’re hours overdue, and we haven’t been able to reach them on the radio.”

There was a pause on the line, a faint crackle filling the gap. “Could be raiders,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “Could be worse. We don’t know what’s out there.”

He took a breath, the sound faint but telling. “Whatever it is, it’s getting close to Jackson’s perimeter.”

His tone sharpened, urgency seeping through. “We need to head out today and figure out what the hell is going on,” he said, his words heavy with the weight of the unknown. “We can’t afford to wait any longer.”

Your pulse quickened at the thought of the community—your home—being in danger. The idea of losing more people, of watching the fragile safety of Jackson unravel, filled you with a dread that settled like a stone in your chest.

“When are we leaving?” you asked, already moving to pack your bag. You grabbed your rifle from its place by the door, the familiar weight of it a small comfort as you slung it over your shoulder.

•••

By the time you reached the stables, Tommy and Maria were already there, saddling the horses with grim determination etched into their faces. Joel was there too, cinching the strap on his saddle, and the sight of him stoked the simmering anger you’d been harboring. But now wasn’t the time to dwell on it—there was too much at stake. A few of the other men stood nearby, their expressions tense as they readied their own mounts. The atmosphere was thick with urgency and unspoken fear; everyone understood what was at risk.

“I’m coming with you,” Maria said firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument as she adjusted the strap on her saddle.

Tommy turned to her, his face drawn with worry. “Maria, you can’t go. Not in your condition.”

She shot him a stubborn look, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m pregnant, Tommy, not helpless,” she snapped.

The concern in Tommy’s eyes was unmistakable, and you could see the conflict written all over his face. Maria was strong, no doubt about it, but the risk was too great, and he wasn’t about to put her or the baby in harm's way.

“Maria,” you said gently, placing a reassuring hand on her arm. “Stay here. You’re needed more in Jackson, with the baby—and with Ellie. The rest of us can handle this.”

At the mention of Ellie, Joel’s head snapped up, a reaction you caught from the corner of your eye.

Maria’s gaze met yours, her expression hardening for a moment as though she was ready to argue. But beneath the defiance, you could see the worry—the fear of what might happen out there. After a tense pause, her shoulders sagged, and she let out a resigned breath. “Fine,” she whispered, her voice tight with strain. “But you all better come back in one piece. I swear to God if anything happens to you, I'll finish the job myself.”

You gave her arm a squeeze before turning back to the horses, a sense of urgency propelling you forward. As you swung up into the saddle, you could feel Joel's gaze still lingering on you, but you refused to meet it.

As you rode away from the safety of Jackson, a knot of unease tightened in your stomach, growing with each step your horse took. It wasn’t just the threat looming out there in the woods—it was the unsettling reality that once again, you were heading into danger with Joel by your side.

But this time, it was more than just your life hanging in the balance; it was the lives of people you cared about, people who depended on you to make it back safely. The weight of that responsibility pressed down on you, and the thought of having to trust Joel when so much was at stake sent a bitter taste to the back of your throat. Yet there was no turning back now. Whatever lay ahead, you’d have to face it—and face him—whether you were ready or not.

•••

The silence between your group was unsettling, broken only by the soft clop of hooves on the dirt path and the whisper of leaves rustling overhead. The tension hung in the air, thick and stifling, like the oppressive heat that lingers before a storm. This wasn’t just another patrol; it was a dangerous mission, and you could feel it in the way everyone gripped their reins a little tighter, their weapons kept close at hand.

Your rifle rested against your shoulder, its weight both a comfort and a constant reminder of the stakes. You kept your focus on the path ahead, doing your best to ignore the occasional glances Joel sent your way. His gaze was hard to miss, like a heat at your back, but you refused to acknowledge it, steering your horse closer to Tommy’s for a semblance of reassurance.

As the path began to curve, Tommy raised his hand, signaling everyone to slow. The horses came to a cautious halt, hooves shifting restlessly in the dirt. Up ahead, just beyond a small ridge, you spotted the outline of a structure—a dilapidated farmhouse with boarded-up windows and a sagging barn beside it, both looking as though a strong wind could knock them over.

But there was movement around the buildings. Flickers of shadows, a brief glint of metal in the fading light. Your heart sank as the realization hit you like a cold wave.

“Shit, there’s a bunch of them,” you breathed, your voice low and tense. The words hung in the heavy air as the reality of the situation settled in—there was no turning back, and whatever waited beyond the ridge was about to test every ounce of resolve you had left.

“Could be more,” Tommy muttered, his eyes scanning the area. “Shit, we need a plan.” He glanced over his shoulder at Joel, who had edged his horse closer, positioning himself beside Tommy.

Joel’s voice was steady, despite the tension simmering in the air. “We’ve gotta be smart about this. Can’t just go in guns blazing. If our people are in there, we risk hitting them by mistake.” His gaze swept over the group, calculating the best course of action. “Here’s what we’ll do. The three of us”—he gestured to you, Tommy, and himself—“will circle around to the west and try to get a look inside. The rest of you, keep a lookout here and be ready to provide cover if things go south. Understood?”

The others nodded in silent agreement, the urgency clear on their faces. Without wasting another second, you adjusted your grip on the reins and urged your horse forward, following Joel and Tommy as they led the way toward the ridge. Your pulse quickened, each step drawing you closer to the farmhouse and whatever waited beyond. There was no room for hesitation now; you could only hope that the plan would hold, and that you’d find your people alive.

You dismounted and quickly tied the horses out of sight, then followed Tommy and Joel on foot, moving silently under the cover of the trees. As you approached the farmhouse, the three of you ducked low, creeping closer to the building’s side.

“Jesus Christ,” Tommy breathed, his voice barely a whisper as he peered inside through a crack in the boarded-up window. You crouched beside him, your pulse thundering in your ears, and saw what had caused his reaction.

The familiar sight of your men lay before you—bound and bloodied, their faces pale and bruised. The dim light inside the farmhouse revealed them slumped against the wall, barely conscious, while armed figures paced nearby, rifles slung over their shoulders. Your heart clenched at the sight, a mix of dread and anger surging through you.

Tommy turned to you and Joel, his expression grim. “Alright, here’s the plan,” he whispered, his eyes darting back to the captured men inside. “We split up. Joel, you head around back and take out the guard by the barn. You,” he nodded to you, “stay here and keep an eye on the entrance. If anyone makes a move, you take the shot. I’ll go in through that side door, see if I can get to our guys and cut them loose.”

Joel gave a curt nod, his jaw clenched tight. “Be quick about it,” he said, already shifting towards the barn.

Here's a revised version to heighten the build-up and emphasize the tension:

Tommy glanced at you, his voice low and urgent. “Don’t engage unless you have to,” he warned, his gaze flickering to the farmhouse. “We need the element of surprise.”

You swallowed hard, your throat dry, and nodded. The air felt thick, almost suffocating, as you positioned yourself by the corner of the building. Every breath seemed louder than it should have been, and the seconds stretched into what felt like an eternity. You watched Joel vanish around the back, his silhouette blending into the shadows, while Tommy crept toward the side door, his steps deliberate and noiseless.

You gripped your rifle tighter, the slickness of sweat coating your palms. The plan seemed simple enough, but as the silence dragged on, a chill of doubt began to coil in your chest. What if this was a trap? What if they were waiting for you?

Just as Tommy reached for the door, a sudden crash exploded from inside the farmhouse, followed by the chaotic sound of shouts. Your pulse surged, panic seizing your chest as you saw a figure lunge toward the entrance, rifle raised. Instinct took over—you swung your weapon up, finger tightening on the trigger, and fired. The crack of the shot shattered the silence, and the man crumpled to the ground, but the noise had blown your cover.

The night erupted in chaos. Shouts filled the air, followed by the staccato of gunfire. Two figures burst from the back of the barn, weapons blazing. You fired again, catching one of them in the chest, but the other dove behind a stack of crates, unloading his clip in your direction. You pressed yourself against the wall, heart pounding in your ears as bullets tore through the wooden boards just inches from your head.

But then everything went terribly wrong. As you fended off one of the advancing men, swinging your rifle like a club to knock him off balance, you didn’t notice the other sneaking up behind you until it was too late.

A cold blade pressed against your throat, the sharp edge biting into your skin just enough to draw a thin line of blood. Panic surged through you as you froze, your pulse hammering in your ears.

“Drop your gun!” the voice snarled, his breath hot and foul against your ear, his arm clamped around your waist, trapping you against his chest.

In an instant, Joel whirled around, his gun snapping up, aiming squarely at the raider's head. His eyes were wide, and you could see the fear flashing there, a stark contrast to the deadly calm in his voice. His heart must have been pounding in his chest as fiercely as yours, but his grip on the gun remained steady.

“Let her go,” he growled, the roughness in his voice betraying a hint of desperation, sounding more like a plea than a command. His gaze burned with an intensity that could cut through steel, and you caught the subtle movement of his finger inching closer to the trigger. The tension in his stance was palpable, like a coiled spring ready to snap.

The man sneered, the cold steel of the blade biting into your skin as he pressed it harder against your throat, a sharp sting radiating out from where the edge threatened to break the surface. “What’s the matter? She your girlfriend or somethin’?” he taunted, his breath hot and foul against your ear. His gaze drifted over you with a lewd grin that made your skin crawl, a sickening wave of revulsion twisting in your gut. “She’s a pretty one… bet she’d be real nice to take for a spin.” His voice dropped to a menacing murmur. “Maybe I’ll do you a favor and—”

“Don’t,” Joel cut him off, the word like a whip crack in the night, edged with a barely restrained fury. His voice was a dangerous growl, but you could see it—the hesitation flickering behind his eyes. He couldn’t shoot. Not like this. The risk of hitting you was too great, and the weight of that possibility hung heavy in the air.

"Joel, it's okay," you began, reaching out to reassure him. But before the words could leave your lips, a sudden, searing pain shot through Joel’s leg. One of the other men had crept up from behind, driving a knife deep into his thigh and twisting it viciously. Joel cried out, collapsing to one knee as the world blurred around him. He tried to raise his weapon, but the agony ripped through him, and his grip slackened, the gun slipping from his fingers. His strength was ebbing fast, and darkness crept in at the edges of his vision.

“Joel!” you screamed, your voice raw with panic as you struggled against the hold of the raider dragging you away. You kicked and twisted, desperate to break free, but it was no use. The grip around your arms tightened, pulling you backward as the chaos of the moment swallowed you whole.

The last thing you saw before everything went black was Joel crumpling to the ground, blood spreading like a dark stain beneath him, his eyes flickering shut as he lost consciousness. Then the darkness took you, too.

•••

Joel awoke sometime later, his clothes clinging to him, soaked with sweat and blood, his skin clammy and pale. The cold, uneven ground pressed against his back, and a dull, throbbing pain pulsed from his leg, radiating up his spine. His head pounded as he struggled to piece together where he was, each breath ragged and shallow.

Through the haze of confusion, a voice broke through—Tommy’s. Joel blinked, his vision swimming as he saw his brother crouched beside him, his hands stained red as he frantically wrapped a torn piece of cloth around Joel’s leg, desperately trying to staunch the bleeding.

“Tommy…” Joel’s voice was barely more than a rasp, rough and broken. He tried to push himself up, but his strength failed him, and he collapsed back onto the ground, his pulse racing with a sickening dread. “Where is she?” The words escaped in a desperate whisper, as if they were being torn from his chest. He didn’t need to say your name; the urgency in his voice made it painfully clear who he was asking about.

Tommy’s face was a mask of grim resolve, but his eyes betrayed the pain lurking just beneath the surface. The set of his jaw tightened, his gaze flickering away from Joel’s as though he couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. “They took her,” he murmured, his voice rough and edged with a helpless anger. “I couldn’t—I couldn’t get to her in time.”

The words slammed into Joel like a blow, the breath leaving his lungs in a ragged gasp. For a moment, everything else seemed to fall away—the throbbing in his leg, the cold chill of the air—it all became secondary to the suffocating realization that you were gone. Taken. His stomach twisted with a raw, gnawing fear that was almost unbearable, and a cold sweat broke out across his skin.

“I have to find her,” Joel choked out, his voice splintering with a desperation he couldn’t contain. He tried to push himself up again, his hands trembling as he braced against the ground, but the agony in his leg sent a white-hot burst of pain through him, forcing him back down.

Tommy placed a firm hand on Joel’s shoulder, his grip steady but trembling slightly from the adrenaline coursing through him. His voice was low and urgent. “You can’t move, Joel. You’re losing too much blood.” His fingers tightened, pressing down as if to keep Joel anchored in place. “If we don’t get that leg treated, you’re not gonna make it.”

“I don’t care,” Joel growled, his voice fierce despite the weakness seeping into his limbs. His chest heaved with the effort to draw breath, each inhale laced with panic and fury. “I’m not leaving her out there with them. I’m not—” His voice cracked, the weight of his own helplessness crashing down around him.

But Joel's mind was already spiraling, his worst nightmare unfolding right before his eyes. This was why he’d kept you at arm’s length—why he’d pushed you away with harsh words and cold distance. He’d done it because he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, of failing to protect you when it mattered most. And now, despite everything he’d done to keep you away, the very thing he feared was happening.

Regret twisted in his gut, more excruciating than the searing pain in his leg, as the truth crashed over him: keeping you at a distance hadn’t saved you. It hadn’t saved either of you. Because now, you were out there—alone, vulnerable, and for all he knew, lost forever. The thought tore him apart, knowing you might never hear the words he’d kept buried deep, the truth behind every harsh word and cold gesture.

He wanted to hold you in his arms, to tell you everything—about Sarah, about Tess, names he couldn’t utter without his insides twisting painfully, without feeling the weight of all that he’d failed to protect. He wanted you to understand how the scars of his past had shaped the man he was, and why he’d been so terrified of letting you in. But more than anything, he wanted to promise you, right there in that moment, that he would never lose you. That if he could just get to you, he’d fight with every last breath to keep you safe.

•••

When you came to, the world felt cold and unforgiving. The rough texture of rope dug painfully into your wrists, and the taste of cloth filled your mouth, stifling your breath and choking off any cry for help. Your hands and ankles were bound tight, leaving you utterly helpless, and each small movement only seemed to tighten the knots, rubbing your skin raw as you struggled in vain.

Then, the pain slammed into you—sharp and all-consuming. As you glanced down, you saw the unnatural angle of your leg; it was unmistakably shattered. The sight made your stomach twist, and the agony radiating from the broken bone was so intense it seemed to pulse through every nerve, setting your whole body alight with a searing, relentless pain that left you gasping for air.

The dimly lit room reeked of damp wood, sweat, and something sour that twisted your stomach. The rough-hewn walls around you suggested this wasn’t a makeshift hideout—it was an old cabin, likely seized by the raiders as a base. The faint light filtering through a cracked window was just enough to cast long, menacing shadows that seemed to close in on you.

You could hear them outside, talking in low, guttural voices. Their laughter was harsh and cruel, mingled with lewd comments that made your skin crawl.

“She’ll fetch a good price,” one of them drawled, his voice raspy and bitter, like gravel scraping against metal.

“Not sure I wanna sell her just yet,” another one added with a twisted chuckle. “Could have some fun first.”

Their words pierced through you like ice, chilling you to the bone. Panic clawed at your throat, and you bit down hard on the gag to stifle a sob, tears burning at the corners of your eyes. You forced yourself to breathe slowly, fighting the wave of dread that threatened to overwhelm you. There had to be a way out—there had to be—but as you tested the bindings, they only seemed to tighten, the rope digging deeper into your skin.

You were trapped, surrounded by men who saw you as nothing more than an object, a bargaining chip, or worse. The reality of your situation crashed over you, heavy and suffocating. All you could do was lie there, helpless, and wait. Wait and hope.

In the back of your mind, a tiny flicker of hope struggled to stay alive, like a candle flame sputtering in the dark. It was irrational, fragile, but you clung to it desperately. You didn’t know if it was because you believed Joel would come for you, or if it was because the thought of never seeing him again without knowing how he really felt was too unbearable. The last real words between you hung in the air, unresolved and sharp, a bitter reminder of everything you hadn’t said.

The memory of Joel’s fierce gaze, the raw desperation in his voice when he had called your name, played over and over in your mind. You didn’t know if he was hurt, or if he was even alive. But the thought of him out there, somewhere, fighting his way to you, was the only thing keeping that flicker of hope alive. It trembled and threatened to die out, but it persisted, just as you did, lying there in the dark, bound and helpless.

You swallowed against the gag, forcing the tears back, and stared at the crack of light in the cabin’s wall. You didn’t know if rescue was coming, but if there was even the smallest chance, you had to hold on. You had to believe that somewhere, out in the night, someone was coming for you. Because if you didn’t hold onto that hope, the darkness would swallow you whole.

•••

The night was pitch-black as Tommy and Joel reached the outskirts of the cabin. They had followed a grim trail—blood droplets and trampled footprints in the mud—that led them deeper into the woods, the sight of it all turning Joel’s stomach with a sickening dread. Each step brought a mounting urgency that tightened around his chest like a noose, pulling tighter with every breath. Time stretched unbearably; each passing minute felt like an hour, and every crack of a branch underfoot was a cruel taunt from the darkness, as if mocking their desperation.

The cabin loomed ahead, its silhouette jagged and menacing against the night sky. Joel’s pulse hammered in his ears, the sound blending with the whispering wind as it rustled through the trees. His focus narrowed to a single, driving need: to find you and get you out alive. He could feel the weight of that need pressing down on him, pushing him forward even as his body screamed from exhaustion and pain. Nothing else mattered. Not the throbbing agony in his leg, not the icy chill seeping into his bones—only the thought of you, somewhere inside that cabin, waiting to be saved.

The pain in his leg throbbed with every step, searing up through his thigh and making his movements stiff and uneven. His face was pale and clammy from blood loss, sweat trickling down his temples, but he ignored it, gritting his teeth against the pain. Tommy had tried to convince him to turn back, to get medical help before it was too late, but Joel had barely listened. Nothing short of being dragged unconscious would have kept him from coming after you.

“Joel, you’re in no shape to do this,” Tommy whispered harshly, grabbing his arm as Joel stumbled over a root. “You can barely walk.”

“Don’t matter,” Joel growled, jerking his arm free. His voice was hoarse, raw with a desperation he couldn’t disguise. “I’m not leaving her.” His eyes burned with a fierce determination, a reckless glint that bordered on madness. It wasn’t just the thought of you in danger that drove him—it was the thought of failing you, of being too late. The idea of losing you tightened in his chest like a vice, suffocating and unrelenting.

Tommy shot him a worried glance, his jaw clenched. “Alright,” he conceded reluctantly, “but we’ve got to do this smart. We go in quiet, no mistakes.”

Joel nodded, his grip tightening on the handle of his knife as they crept closer to the cabin. The faint murmur of voices drifted through the still night air, each muffled word stoking the fire that burned deep in his chest. His hands trembled—not from the cold breeze or the blood loss, but from the sheer, uncontrollable fury that coursed through him, mingled with a fear so deep it threatened to tear him apart. He forced himself to focus, to push down the panic rising inside him. He couldn’t afford to think about what might be happening to you in that cabin. He had to believe you were still alive, still fighting—because the alternative was unthinkable.

Guilt gnawed at him, the weight of his own words echoing in his mind. This was his plan. If you were hurt—or worse—it would be his fault. The things he'd said, the way he'd pushed you away, only made the guilt press harder against his chest.

But there wasn’t time to drown in that regret. Not now.

Shoving those thoughts aside, Joel clung to one truth: he would tear through anyone standing between him and you. There was no room for doubt, no space for hesitation.

As they neared the cabin, Joel crouched low, his breaths coming fast and shallow. The voices were clearer now—gruff, laughing, too casual, as though this was just another night for them. The sound of it made his skin crawl, and a cold rage swept over him. He edged closer, peering through a narrow gap in the boarded-up window.

Tommy laid a steadying hand on Joel’s shoulder, grounding him, pulling him back from the edge. “Looks like there’s six of them,” he whispered, his voice low and urgent. “Three each. Can’t see her—they must have her deeper inside. And who knows, there might be more.”

Joel gave a tight nod, his jaw clenched so hard it sent a dull ache up to his temples. The muscles in his neck tightened, his pulse a relentless drumbeat as his gaze shifted back toward the cabin. Even without seeing you, he could picture you in there—vulnerable, surrounded by danger. The image ignited something primal and ferocious inside him, a raw need that burned hotter than the pain tearing through his leg or the exhaustion weighing down his limbs.

It wasn’t just the instinct to protect; it was a deeper, darker desperation—a refusal to let anything happen to you, to let anyone touch you or harm you. The thought of you in the hands of those men made his blood boil and his vision blur with a barely restrained fury. There was no room for hesitation, no space for anything but the resolve to get to you, to tear apart anyone who stood in his way.

He whispered a silent promise to you there in the darkness—I’m coming for you. Just hold on. I won’t fail you like I did them.

Joel took a breath to steady himself, the burn of his leg wound fading into the background as the raw determination surged through him. With a final nod to Tommy, they moved like shadows, slipping around opposite sides of the cabin. The night was silent but for the faint murmur of voices inside—voices that would soon be silenced.

Tommy signaled from the far side, his fingers held up in a countdown. Three, two, one—

They burst through the doors simultaneously, weapons raised. Joel’s first shot hit the nearest raider square in the chest, dropping him before he even had a chance to react. The others spun around, scrambling for cover, but Joel was already moving, firing with ruthless precision. The cabin erupted in chaos, gunfire cracking through the air, splintering wood and shattering glass.

A raider lunged at Joel with a knife, and he met the attack with a vicious swing of his own blade, slashing across the man’s throat before shoving him to the ground. Blood splattered his hands, but he didn’t flinch—didn’t even slow.

“Joel!” Tommy’s voice called from the other side of the room as he grappled with a raider, slamming the man’s head against the wall until he went limp. “I think she’s in there!” He pointed toward a heavy wooden door at the back of the cabin, reinforced with a rusted padlock.

Joel's heart pounded as he shoved his way past the last raider, slamming him against a wooden beam before rushing to the door. He fired a round into the lock, the metal shattering as the door swung open.

The sight before him made Joel’s blood run cold. There you were, lying on the floor, bound and gagged, your face pale and streaked with blood. Your leg was twisted at an unnatural angle, the bone jutting grotesquely beneath the skin—a broken, mangled mess. The sheer fragility of you in that moment, so helpless and shattered, knocked the breath from his lungs and sent a cold terror coursing through him.

“Jesus Christ…” Joel breathed, rushing to your side and dropping to his knees. His hands trembled violently as he fumbled to cut the ropes binding your wrists and ankles. His movements were frantic, desperate, and when the last knot fell away, he ripped the gag from your mouth, tossing it aside like it had burned him.

“Hey, hey, it’s me,” he whispered, his voice rough and ragged, trembling as he reached for you. He cradled your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over the grime and blood on your cheeks. “You’re okay now. I’m here. I’m not leaving you.” But the words felt hollow, even to him.

How could he say you were okay when you looked so broken, when your body was crumpled like a discarded doll?

Your eyes fluttered open, dazed and unfocused, and a soft, pained moan escaped your lips. The sound tore at Joel’s chest, and for a moment, the world seemed to tilt, narrowing to the hollow ache in your voice. He could feel the panic clawing at the edges of his composure, but he forced himself to stay steady, his hands cupping your face as though he could will some of his strength into you.

“You’re gonna be alright,” he murmured, the words barely holding together as he stroked your hair. “I’m gonna get you out of here.” But there was a crack in his voice, a desperation that slipped through despite his best efforts. He couldn’t stop looking at the jagged break in your leg, the sight of it making his gut twist with guilt.

I should’ve been here sooner. I should’ve protected her.

He tore his gaze away from you just long enough to shout over his shoulder, “Tommy! We need to get outta here, now!” His voice was raw, urgent, echoing through the cabin like a desperate plea. He looked back at you, and his eyes held a fierce, unspoken promise. “Just hold on for me, alright? Stay with me.”

But he could see you slipping—the way your eyelids fluttered, struggling to stay open, the life in your gaze dimming with each passing second. Panic clawed at his chest as he reached for you, as if his touch alone could keep you tethered to him.

Tommy’s footsteps pounded closer, his voice tight with concern as he entered the room. “Jesus, Joel, she’s in bad shape. We need to move now.”

Joel nodded, his jaw clenched with grim determination. “I know. Help me lift her,” he said, his voice barely steady. His hands were gentle but firm as he slid them beneath you, his touch trembling with the effort to keep his emotions in check. “We’re gonna get you somewhere safe,” he murmured, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ve got you, baby.”

The word slipped out, raw and unguarded, a reflex that seemed to rise from some deep, unspoken part of him. It hung in the air for a moment, catching Joel off guard even as it left his lips. He didn’t dare look at Tommy, but he felt his brother’s gaze shift, a flicker of surprise that didn’t go unnoticed.

But Joel didn’t care. The word was out there now, and it carried with it a truth he couldn’t take back—a truth that had lingered in the space between you for far too long. His grip on you tightened, his breath hitching as he looked down at you, his expression fierce with a mix of tenderness and desperation. “I’ve got you,” he repeated, his voice thick with emotion. “I got you, darlin’. I promise.”

And as he and Tommy lifted you, Joel’s heart hammered in his chest, the realization settling in with a weight that was both terrifying and undeniable. He had called you baby—and, deep down, he knew he had meant it.

You couldn’t speak; you could only manage a weak nod, the effort draining what little strength you had left. Your throat felt parched, each breath rasping in your chest, and the pain in your leg was a deep, throbbing agony that made it hard to think, hard to even breathe.

Joel’s gaze dropped to your leg, and his stomach clenched at the sight. The bone was badly broken, a jagged protrusion pressing against your skin, and blood had pooled beneath you, soaking into the floorboards. Your skin was cold and clammy to the touch, a chill that seemed to seep into his bones as he realized the full extent of your injuries. He’d have to be careful—one wrong move could make everything so much worse.

“Easy, now,” Joel murmured, his voice low and strained as he and Tommy prepared to lift you. He slid his arms beneath your shoulders, supporting your upper body while Tommy carefully took hold of your legs. The instant they moved you, a sharp cry of pain escaped your lips, and Joel’s heart cracked at the sound, a deep ache settling in his chest.

“I know, I know,” he whispered, his jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. “I’m sorry, darlin’. We’re gonna get you out of here. Just hold on for me.” His voice was rough with emotion, each word like a plea.

As they stumbled back through the forest, Joel felt his strength waning, the pain in his leg growing sharper with every step, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t. He would carry you all the way back to Jackson if that’s what it took.

Tommy’s words echoed in the darkness, but Joel barely heard them; he was too focused on you, on the way your body felt so small and fragile in his arms. It wasn’t lost on Tommy—the desperation in Joel's voice, the raw fear etched across his face. It reminded him of a time long ago, a grief and terror that Joel had carried through the years. And now, as they pushed forward, stumbling over roots and through the underbrush, Tommy saw that same haunted look in his brother’s eyes, the kind that spoke of loss too deep to name.

"Stay with me, darlin’," Joel whispered, the words coming out like a plea as he felt your head loll weakly against his chest. It wasn’t just a command—it was a desperate promise, a vow that he would get you to safety no matter what. Each step through the forest felt like a mile, and the sharp pang in his leg was nothing compared to the fear twisting in his gut.

By the time they reached Jackson, you were barely conscious, slipping in and out of awareness. Your breathing was shallow, your skin clammy to the touch, and Joel had to grit his teeth to keep his own body upright as they carried you into the clinic. The warm glow of the lights felt harsh against the night’s darkness, and the doctor rushed in, barking orders and asking questions, the chaos swallowing him whole.

But even as the people swarmed around you, Joel refused to let go of your hand. He stayed by your side, gripping your fingers tightly as though you might slip away if he loosened his hold for even a second. When Tommy tried to pull him aside, insisting that Joel get his own wound looked at, he shook his head fiercely. “I’m not leavin’ her Tommy,” he said, his voice rough with exhaustion and emotion. “Not for a damn second.”

Tommy didn’t argue. He had seen the look in Joel’s eyes, the raw desperation and guilt that burned there—a reflection of a promise too deep to break. So he stayed silent, watching his brother hold onto you like you were the only thing anchoring him to the world, knowing full well that in some ways, you were.

Tag List:

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[namfinessed]

drinks or coffee - j.jk.

genre: fluff, angst (toxicrelationship!) (6.5k)

summary: when jungkook loves, he loves with no limit, with no holding back and when he leaves...he disappears, he's a ghost you knew a lifetime ago. seeing jungkook after he broke your heart shouldn't have made you so happy but every heartache, every tear, every claw at your chest, fades and disappears when he finds you in the corner of a party and whisks you away for another wild and free phase in your life. (inspired by the song 'drinks or coffee' on rosie).

note: the relationship is abrupt, with a lot of ups and downs which is how toxic relationships are, there may be love and a absence of everything else that matters (security, etc.), please know my characters are completely made up and have nothing to do with our real life jungkook. enjoy <3

masterlist masterpost

-

parties were boring.

a room full of people you don’t like, having to squeeze between them and their conversations, ignore the spilled drinks on the floor, and trying to keep a pleasant face through all of it, was the hardest thing you’ve had to do in a while.

if you weren’t obligated to be here, you wouldn’t be.

but it was starting to look like a good decision after all.

because there is jungkook in the other corner of the room and he’s smiling at you, you were probably smiling back but your heart squeezed in your chest at the sight of his full face, heading straight towards you.

you head towards him too.

it isn’t by conscious will, it isn’t by choice, but it is by instinct.

you see jungkook, you gravitate towards jungkook, you lean on jungkook, you like jungkook, but you never knew then and you don’t know now if he felt the same pull too.

you like to tell yourself that he does, he has to, and just as he comes to stand before you, he reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone, you frown when your phone rings in your pocket.

‘FRIEND…calling.’

…you used to be quite petty, you blushed at the name you gave him when things didn’t end so well for you two.

“i know it’s been long,” you suck in a breath, the freshness of his voice hitting you the same way it did when you first met him years ago, “but i’m happy that you’re here tonight,” he whispers into the phone and it reaches you, from both a few feet in front of you and in the form of his breathless voice into your ears.

the ridiculousness of the situation isn’t beyond you, he’s standing here, talking into his phone, you’re on the other end and also, just right next to him but jungkook was always this, just full of ways that unexpectedly made you happy.

you can’t help it, the laugh that tumbles out of your mouth, the warmth cupping your cheeks invisibly, the shudder climbing up your spine and you especially can’t help but feel proud at jungkook’s face smiling back at you.

the call ends, phones slide back into pockets and now, it’s just reality, now, it’s just jungkook’s eyes dancing on your face and his shoes touching your heels, and you wonder if he still remembers how he felt when he first met you, because you do, you still feel the same.

his rounded cheeks.

his dimple that was shy sometimes.

his lip piercing, which he swears makes him look sharper.

his eyes, a galaxy of stars that contradicted his hard-earned body.

you were gob-smacked then.

you are gob-smacked now.

nothing’s changed.

“i’m happy that you’re here too,” you are, you are so happy that you have to force your feet to stay on the ground and pride flashes on jungkook’s face, he nods, taking in the warm feeling that you felt just minutes ago.

his cheeks take on a light pink and his lip piercing can only help him so much; he starts to look like a glowing moon (with blushing cheeks!).

next thing you know, you’re sat next to him near the fireplace, no one seems to mind you both on the floor and you two couldn’t care less about the people around you.

“i opened a gym with one of my friends, it’s doing well, you should come by sometime,” he took a sip out of his cup, you didn’t know what it had, you didn’t ask, “and what, watch you work out?”

jungkook laughs, eyes cinching close and you feel that bubble of pride again, “sure, or you could just work out, like a normal person would,” he pressed his finger to your forehead, tipping you backward and you rolled your eyes, “where’s the fun in that?”

jungkook shook his head at you with his eyes still closed, and when he opened them, there was a dance of amusement, reviving affection and warmth clouding in his pupils and you sucked in a breath.

you stared at jungkook with your knees bent in front of you, hands folded on top of them and your face leaning as close as it could to him without actually touching him and he’s sat, one hand on the floor, one hand dangerously close to your ankles.

jungkook has always let you just stare at him, he allowed you minutes and hours of looking at him without asking questions, without finding it weird, without cringing or getting annoyed, he appreciated your focus on him and you took full advantage of that always.

the fire burned bright on one side of his face and the other side was completely swallowed by the darkness in the room and you wonder how you look to him, if the light played tricks on your face too, if you too looked half-beautiful and half of something he was yet to figure out.

“should we go somewhere?” you look around the party, you wouldn’t be missing much, you have shown yourself to the host, talked to a few people and there was nothing left to do so, you eye jungkook’s waiting hand knowing that once you take it, you would be repeating history.

you put your hand in his, maybe it would be different this time, maybe this time, he’ll fall in love too.

-

in the club, jungkook immediately challenged you to take several shots with him, and soon, it was a competition and neither of you was backing out, neither of you let your eyes stray away from the other and with each stare you caught from him, you earned a full head-to-toe scan that made your palms tingle.

just as your ninth shot burned down your throat, a familiar, too familiar beat floated in the air around you.

the way by kehlani and chance the rapper.

“jungkook, it’s our song!” you practically glowed from the recognition, only to hesitate at the ‘our’ part because it’s been a long time since you’ve shared anything with him and you wait for him to hesitate too, you wait for him to break the bubble you’re in but he screams with you, pulls you away from the crowd and helps you climb onto a table.

you immediately sway with the music, screaming the lyrics into the air and laughing at jungkook’s silly dance moves till your lungs burn, and with every flip of your hair, every move of your hips, and every animated expression on your face, jungkook stared, jungkook cheered and jungkook stayed.

you allowed him the staring too.

there was nothing better in the world than feeling his eyes on you, tracking your every move as if he could mimic them in his sleep, there was nothing better than knowing he would stay, at least for tonight.

as the song ended, jungkook let you drop into his arms where he spun you around and you curled around him, high-pitched laughter still ringing from your throat, his own head was thrown back in joy and he carried you bridal-style all the way back to your table, while whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

you’re sure your face is red, you’re sure your pulse is high, and you’re sure you haven’t stopped smiling since the second you saw jungkook.

this was how it was with jungkook, all joy, all wild, all free, and all love.

until it wasn’t.

…just kidding, you just had a bit too much to drink.

“i told you we shouldn’t have taken that last shot,” you groaned, head lulling on jungkook’s shoulder and his entire body shook under you, you smiled to yourself, feeling his happiness on you was always so strange, so precious.

“i did tell you to not take it but you went ahead with it anyway,” he tsked at you, holding you to the side of his body so you couldn’t fall and you whined in response, “you were winning, what was i supposed to do?”

“let me win?” jungkook tilted his head at you and you narrowed your eyes at him, “never.”

his phone rings and you know it’s not you, and you feel especially weird when he immediately cuts it, not even letting it ring for two seconds.

you raise your eyebrows at that but bite your tongue.

he notices.

“it’s nothing important,” he shrugs it off but his shoulders remain tense.

“i didn’t ask,” you say immediately, turning your body away but you feel bad when he sighs, he didn’t have to cut a call for you, you weren’t anything but a friend to him.

you expect him to say good night and leave, you expect him to say that he wasn’t so happy to see you tonight.

but jungkook’s full of surprises and just as you prepare to apologize for your reaction, his eyes brighten up at the sight of a toy claw machine, and you know what’s on his mind.

“you told me you have to go home, right?” he slowly slips his arms from around you to hold you by your hands instead and you don’t like where this is going, or this is exactly how you wanted tonight to be.

“jungkook, no,” he inches towards the machine with a pout on his face, “how about i win you, not one, not two but three plushies? then will you come to mine?”

“to do what?” you huff out though your cheeks reddened at his fingers caressing the side of your face, your skin sings where he touches and his whisper “to you know,” leaves you gasping, but he doesn’t know your struggle, he shrugs and moves away.

that gives you a second to breathe and you roll your eyes to mask your desperation, “i don’t know, jungkook.”

“to talk, silly! where did your dirty mind go?” jungkook gently flicks your temple and you bite back a smile, “so, we just talk?”

“of course, i’m a nice guy,” he says then turns to smirk at you, “you know that,” and your body rushes with a wave of everything that happened between you two.

he had meant it lightheartedly, but now, all you could think of was, no, he wasn’t very nice, he wasn’t very nice sometimes in the middle and was definitely not nice towards the end.

but you weren’t either.

“so, we have a deal?” jungkook reaches the machine and his face lights up with red, blue, and green, and he looks over at you, excitement practically bouncing off his body and everything shoves itself in again.

you nod.

he wins you a panda, a bunny, and a tiger.

he carries you all the way to his home.

and doesn’t look at his phone once throughout the night.

-

jungkook’s apartment was no longer tiny, jungkook wasn’t a tiny college student anymore, he was all big and buff with galaxy eyes, and his apartment was just like him, with sharp corners and soft lights.

you stared down at the ceiling fan that rotated over and over again, refusing to move an inch, refusing to acknowledge the light pouring in from the windows, refusing to believe that your night with jungkook was already over.

you didn’t want to get up and find the apartment empty.

you didn’t want to realize that you wasted your time again.

if you got up and ran, leaving everything behind, jungkook would be a ghost again, and after last night…you don’t think you have it in you to leave.

then, your phone rings, a loud disruption to your quiet, worrying thoughts and you grab it quickly.

‘FRIEND (?)…calling’.

apparently, you weren’t too drunk to change jungkook’s contact in the middle of the night.

“hello?” you whispered into the call and his small laugh burst in from the other side, “come out, sleepyhead, how much longer will you sleep?”

and you melt.

quite literally.

your entire body falls back on the bed with a sense of calm that can only come after a storm.

“you’re still here,” you mumble, more to yourself than to him and he hums, “well, it is my house so,” and your head falls to the side with a smile growing.

he was still here.

god, relief was so sweet.

you step out of his bedroom on your tiptoes, as if your noise would ruin this moment, and jungkook peeks from the corner, the phone still pressed to his ears, and grins, “you won’t believe this.”

“what?” you look around and he presses the phone closer, “the prettiest girl in the world just showed up inside my apartment.”

and you know if any other man said it, you would cut the call, gather your belongings, and block them as soon as you were out of their place.

but it’s jungkook.

everything is different with jungkook.

“oh, inside your apartment? sounds like you have a stalker,” you play along and he frowns playfully and nods, “i’m pretty sure i saw her near my gym,” and you burst out laughing.

“okay pretty, shut up and get here, i’m making you pancakes,” he presses a kiss into the phone and drops it only to pick you up in his arms and place you on the counter.

your heart was pounding in your ears as you took the scene in.

jungkook is in a tank top and apron, flipping pancakes, and the sunlight is falling just right on his tattoos. his face is relaxed, soft, and calm, it’s everything you want his face to be like when he’s with you.

you want to pull him in for five hundred kisses.

“taste this, ow,” he picks up a pancake, only to drop it and hiss and his phone decides to ring just as you start to get down, “stay there,” and you slide back on the counter.

you wait nervously as his mumbles carry to the kitchen but you can’t catch any words or hear anything specific. when he comes back, he apologizes, “just family,” with a kiss on your cheek and he continues picking up the hot pancakes, blowing on them, until he seems satisfied and steps forward.

you expect him to put them on a plate, you expect him to make himself pancakes and eat with you.

but jungkook’s always full of surprises.

you can’t think of anything else as you watch with amusement glazing your eyes and he tenderly feeds you the pancake, all while blowing on it and asking you if it is too hot, you shake your head at him, no, it wasn’t hot, it was just a bit hard for your heart to beat at a normal pace right now.

the early hours of the morning pass this way, with a few kisses here and there, with about five pancakes in your system, and smiles, so many smiles.

and as you leave, you can’t help but look back, “i loved this,” you mutter, words a bit shy and slow, and jungkook looks away.

you assume this is it.

you assume this is how it ends.

his phone didn’t ring again but you really didn’t want to know who was on the other side, whether it was family or not, whether it was someone else, you really tried hard to push it to the back of your head.

you were having a good time and that is all.

you walk out casually as if leaving didn’t put another weight on your shoulder, as if leaving didn’t scare you that this would be the last time you see him.

right outside of his door, your ringtone breaks your step.

NOT A FRIEND…calling.

you didn’t change that.

your heart pounds as you pick up, you don’t say a word as his breath fills the call.

“friday night, you’ll come back, right?”

it was two days from now.

“why?”

“cause’, i love spending time with you, and saying it to your face scares me,” he laughs nervously and you clutch your phone tighter.

“you don’t mean that,” your fear speaks and he sighs.

you place a foot forward again, ready to cut the call.

“you know me, you know that i mean it, right?”

you didn’t know him; you know that you can believe his words only for now.

nevertheless, you go back to his door, bang your fist on it, and wait, breathless, maybe a bit desperate too.

when he opens, his eyes are on the floor and your eyes are on him, your phones stay connected in your hands.

you pick up your phone, press it to your ear, “and i mean this, i loved this morning, i loved last night too.”

i loved you.

a lifetime ago, but you did.

and he smiles, presses his phone back to his ear, “i’ll see you friday.”

-

“and you’re sure they won’t mind me here?” you ask once again as jungkook leads you into a garden party, and he rolls his eyes at you, “they don’t and if you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable, we will leave, how does that sound? just tug on my sleeve, and we’re out.”

you were glad the sun had set outside and he couldn’t see your face because you’re sure that your eyes were drowning in love.

who would’ve thought that he would be back in your life, seemingly in a more stable way than last time?

of course, you happily ignored that it’s only been two days since you’ve known the new jungkook.

everyone walked up to jungkook, smiling big and wide at him, hugging him, telling him how glad they were that he was here and you felt left out, even if his hand never left yours, even if he only wrapped one arm around anyone who came to him but you couldn’t shake it.

there was a point in your life when you knew everyone who knew jungkook, anyone who was his friend was your friend, you didn’t talk to any of those people now and all the new faces made your head spin.

how much time had passed?

why did it feel so long and short?

why did you feel both excited to uncover his life again and sad that there was such a big part of it that you had no clue about?

“she is my…” jungkook trailed off, awkwardly chuckling and rubbing the back of his neck and you’re brought back to the world where his friend stares at you with shifty eyes and a stiff smile.

“friend, good friend, my name’s y/n,” you leave his hand to shake his friend’s, hoping that it alleviates the tension but it seems to have the opposite effect.

his friend quickly introduced himself and coughed, made some excuse, and left.

and you stood there, hand hanging next to your body, so cold from the absence of jungkook’s hand.

“seriously, you couldn’t even say that we’re friends?” you looked up at him with poorly concealed hurt, “but,” jungkook starts but doesn’t finish, instead sighs at the floor and grabbing your hand again, leads you to the garden.

and the warmth of his hand isn’t enough for the ice gathering in your heart.

maybe tonight is it.

maybe tonight is the last time you see him.

“stay here, i’ll get us some hot chocolate,” he guided you to sit on one of the logs near the bonfire and you sat with pursed lips, you tried to look at his face but he refused to meet your eyes.

just as he’s walking away, you grab his hand, you have to fix this, you have to keep this going and he looks back at you with wide, curious eyes.

“i’m not mad at you, jungkook, so please let’s j-just be normal,” you swallow nervously after you say it, and leave his hand in the air.

you expect him to walk away, you expect him to ignore what you said.

but jungkook is always full of surprises.

he picks your hand back up, this time his sparkly eyes meet yours and he presses a simple kiss to your knuckles.

maybe tonight isn’t it.

maybe tonight isn’t the last time you see him.

the relief you feel is enough to slump your body on the log but it’s short-lived.

you ignore the distinct ring of jungkook’s phone as he walks away, you stare at the fire as if to dare it to burn you too, the anger you feel is both unnatural and too large for you.

“oh my,” you hear and your eyebrows knit together, it was a voice you hadn’t heard in a while.

“it’s so strange to see you here,” you hear his chuckle and feel his hug before you see his face and you melt and stiffen in his arms.

he lets you go in a second, he knows there are boundaries.

your ex was nothing if not courteous.

and jungkook would know that if he wasn’t just watching the exchange from a distance and only caught the hug.

“what are you doing here?” you gush at him and he shrugs, “forced myself to get out of my bed today, i was rotting,” he dramatizes at the rotting and you giggle, “please, i’ve been the same!” you agree with him.

you weren’t rotting in a bed.

you were rotting in a relationship that you know will never go forward or backward instead.

you shake the thought away; you don’t need that in your head right now.

you exchanged more small talk with him, laughed at his stories, and felt peace for a few minutes, you both ended on good terms and you still considered him your friend.

maybe you two would’ve worked out if jungkook wasn’t back in your life.

but it wasn’t long before he waved bye to you and disappeared into the crowd.

and jungkook comes back with two mugs in his hands.

you thank him quietly as you take one and sit back down, he calmly sits beside you, and you look everywhere but at him.

seeing your ex, especially when you ended on good terms, always left you uneasy and questioning everything you had in front of you.

“you’re not going to tell me who your friend is?”

there it was.

the jungkook you hated.

“he’s my ex and also yes, my friend, like you and me,” you replied, gripping the mug tighter, you hated that you even had to explain yourself to him but you knew you’d hit a nerve when his jaw clenched.

you can’t care less about that right now.

sometimes you wondered how you ever loved him.

you blew on your hot chocolate and looked straight ahead.

jungkook sighed, for the 100th time this night you feel and the sound was starting to annoy you.

“you know-“ and you’re interrupted.

jungkook grabs the side of your body and presses you close to him, drops a few marshmallows into your hot chocolate, and kisses the top of your head.

your anger dissipates.

your annoyance disappears as if it was never there.

sometimes you wonder how you ever loved him, other times you wonder how you ever stopped.

“i was just asking babe,” he mumbles into your hair and you don’t move a muscle, you stay uncomfortably wound up against him, “let’s enjoy this, yeah?” jungkook smiles, with his whole face and you can’t remember any point of the night that upset you.

for now, it’s just jungkook laughing at you as you sip on scalding hot chocolate and burn your tongue.

for now, it’s just jungkook kissing you and saying, ‘you should be all good now!’.

for now, it’s just you burying your face in his coat when he continues to pepper kisses on your face.

for now, it’s just jungkook and another night of loving him.

-

you clutched the bunny plushie in your hands as you watched jungkook get ready for bed, it was strange still, watching him in his home, moving around so casually around you.

he catches you staring, his shyness peaks through and a small smile builds on his face, you let your eyes fall shut when he leans forward to leave a pillow-soft kiss on your forehead.

“you want to eat something?” you shake your head, “we could get ice cream?” he offers again and you feel the heat in your cheeks, the affection in his voice hiding in the simplest questions was throwing you off.

“you know, i love this,” you’ve said this before, you know you have and jungkook’s face almost breaks because of his grin, “will you believe me if i say i love this more?”

“never.” and he chuckles, he steps forward in his t-shirt and pajama pants, the hottest he’s ever looked to you and you appreciate your view.

“but i love this more,” you think he’s challenging you, but he immediately follows with, “believe me?” and jungkook’s voice is so soft, his piercing blends into the moonlight, his eyes sparkle like never before, you have to hold yourself back from professing a lifetime of love.

“okay, i believe you,” and you close your eyes again when he kisses you, savouring the seconds, minutes, hours, or whatever else you have left with him.

you ignore his phone buzzing on the nightstand, you ignore his ignorance over the ringing, you swallow your panic when his arms wrap around as if they’re a part of your body.

you ignore his breathy whisper of, “i missed you,” and you ignore your own shaky voice when you whisper back, “i missed you like the earth misses the moon in the morning.”

for now, it was another night of loving jungkook.

-

the next morning, you wake up to murmurs from beside you, you barely open your eyes to see jungkook whispering into his phone and it’s not you on the other end, you pinch your eyes closed and turn away.

history.

it was back and you couldn’t stop it this time.

just like every other time.

when you first met jungkook, you were college students, both immature and more toxic than you would ever admit, you always woke up to empty beds after nights with him and he always found you on your boy best friend’s shoulder after a fight.

you would yell at each other; you would ask the other to adjust and understand but both of you refused to change anything about yourself to fit the other better. at the end of the day, he always ended up at your door and you always ended up at his.

you always crashed back into each other, a wave of kisses, love that came from almost losing each other, and also hatred, that you couldn’t go anywhere else.

the crash came more than five times during your college days and each time, you were bored of the cycle and so burdened with his love and yours, and the last time, you had blocked him and ignored his existence on any social media platform

you closed the door when you saw someone else in his apartment, he didn’t open his when he read your messages with your best friend.

that was then.

this was now.

in between, was a lot of growth and time.

you thought things had changed.

but you thought that every other time too, didn’t you?

“just speak normally, don’t mind me at all,” you mumble and as if a scratch in a record, everything buzzes around you for a minute, noisily, uncomfortably the voices in your head come back with a vengeance.

jungkook falls silent.

you bite your lip hard enough to feel the taste of metal spread on your tongue, as if a poison coming to kill you at this moment slowly but the poison was this room, the poison was these feelings you never let go of, and the poison was jungkook.

maybe no amount of time can fix you and him.

he always surprises you by leaving you, right when you’ve convinced yourself that he won't.

you only hear him say into the phone, “no, we can’t anymore,” and then only feel his hand on your shoulder.

but you’re already getting up, you’re putting your clothes on, you’re brushing your hair away from your face, and keeping your eyes on everything but him.

this was a dance you knew too well.

the dance of leaving and being left.

“wait, wait!” jungkook runs behind you, and you don’t pause a step, but eventually, he stands between you and the door.

“please, just let me explain,” he pleads, grabbing the sides of your arms, you feel like you’ve been burnt, you immediately shake them off and stand rod-straight.

“who was it?”

“right, i-“

“i don’t want any bullshit explanations or reasons, just tell me who is it.” you try to remain calm but your voice shakes with the rage you feel, and your eyes fill with tears with how intensely your anger ran through your nerves.

“please don’t cry, it really isn’t what you think,” he wipes the corner of your eyes but it only makes you angrier, he keeps saying everything but what you want to hear.

“shut the fuck up, jungkook! just tell me who is it? why do you keep taking the calls in secret? why do they call you so many times?” you prod your finger to his chest, you wanted every question to hit him like a bullet, the same way every ring of his phone left you bleeding.

“okay, okay, fine. she’s someone i was seeing-“

“was or still are?” you brace yourself, arms immediately crossing to hold your guard up.

“was,” he sighs and you feel like punching a wall, “why are you lying to me? if you aren’t seeing her anymore, why does she still call you?!” you yell, stomping into the apartment, wanting to break something, anything and he’s right behind you, hot on your heels.

“do you really want to talk about exes? do you?” he’s in your face, accusation and anger just as clearly written on his face as it was written on yours.

“yeah, i do, cause unlike you, i don’t hide my exes, i don’t answer their calls when i’m with you, i don’t entertain any communication unlike you,” you get all up in his face, fists clenching and unclenching beside your body and jungkook steps back with a mocking laugh resounding around you.

“oh really? you want to act like this now? you want to lie now, is that who you’ve become?”

“don’t be so fucking vague, jungkook, tell me in clear words, what the fuck is your problem?”

“you’ve been messaging him, i saw it on your screen so don’t even think of lying to me,” his chest rises and falls rapidly and you frown, “what messages?”

he knew your password, that wasn’t a big deal, you had told him that but what did he see that you didn’t?

“your ex, the one you were so starry-eyed for yesterday, left a very sweet message for you this morning, you would love it,” he laughs again, the sound still cut you harshly, you never missed the softness in his voice as much as you did right now.

you were offended, you were only ever starry-eyed for one person and he was standing in front of you.

you took your phone out, your fingers and hands shaking from both residual anger and fear of what you would see on your screen.

and surely, a text from your ex, who you thought had the decorum to leave you alone lingered in your inbox.

THE NICE ONE: you looked really pretty last night, made me think of our good times, give me a call, i’ll fix everything, i’ll make you happier than he does, that much i promise.

a pang of guilt hits you because you had also considered what could’ve been, didn’t you?

but you don’t even care about that right now, do you?

all that matters right now is to fight jungkook, fight until you finally win, fight until you walk away, and never look back.

“you got a sweet name for him too, congratulations to you two,” venom drips from his tone, his voice, his posture and you brace yourself again, you weren’t going to back down, not now.

“what the fuck am i supposed to do if he messages me?” you challenge and he throws his hands in the air, “block him! maybe don’t save him as ‘the nice one’, maybe never let him think that he still has a chance with you?”

“i talked to him the way i would talk to anyone i know, i didn’t let him think anything, i-i didn’t even see this until right now, what do you expect from me?”

“that’s what i am trying to say! what can i do if she keeps calling me?”

“block her! it was so easy for you to suggest it to me but you can’t do that yourself? so what, i’m the only one here still talking to someone else?”

“she’s been calling me but i never picked up, i promise, it was really my family that morning, i only picked it up this morning to tell her that she can’t call me anymore, you didn’t even let me explain,” he breaths out and though you know, that he’s honest, he’s sincere, you still want to fight.

“you’re serious?” you stepped forward again but your head was starting to feel light and loose, your body was too tense to relax anytime soon and you looked at jungkook.

maybe you never stopped wanting to fight him, maybe you never got over whatever you had, or maybe you still held everything against him.

“of course i am, i’m trying to work us out, i’m trying but why is it never enough?” his voice was no longer loud, no longer harsh, it was pleading, it was begging and your eyes tear up for a whole different reason. jungkook’s head dropped and so did the pace of your heartbeat.

this was the first time he acknowledged that there had been a time when you both had tried and failed, over and over again.

you’ve fought with jungkook, you’ve fought with jungkook a lot but not until this point, not until the both of you stood defeated and scared of what the other would say next.

not until you both were tired.

the fight simmers and boils down to nothing again.

“jungkook,” you break the silence and he stands still, his shoulders rise uncomfortably, his fingernails pinch the tender skin of his palm and that’s when you know, he’s scared and so are you.

“are we going to keep doing this until we can’t?” you shake your head as your tears gather again, you feel the devastation spread through your body, “are we going to keep hurting each other until then? i-is that fair?” your knees buckle and his fists clench, jungkook’s eyes squeeze shut and you see the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

you’ve never seen him like this.

you never want to see him like this.

your heart was growing a hole at the sight of jungkook so defeated in front of you and you had to look away.

“i don’t know what else to do, or how to make this better,” he sniffs and your shoulders drop down further. the feeling of failure dug itself deeper into your skin, and this time, you don’t think the wound will ever heal.

“i don’t either,” you whisper back and this time, he’s the one looking away from the sobs caught in your throat.

sometimes you wonder how you ever loved him, other times you wonder how you ever stopped but you never knew with jungkook, when you would feel something, what would you feel around him, it was always the most or the least but never what you could handle.

you didn’t see a future where you wouldn’t constantly overthink every call jungkook gets and he didn’t see a future where he wouldn’t constantly look over his shoulder for an ex or best friend of yours.

you’ve hurt each other before, intentionally or unintentionally and you know in your heart, that it will happen again.

it didn’t help that you two would never feel what you felt for each other, with someone else, it didn’t help that you loved each other more than you could handle, love couldn’t keep you together, it was too twisted, too cruel and someone had to get up and leave.

“jungkook.” his head snaps up and panic washes over his face but someone has to do this.

you’ll walk away.

this was it.

this was the last time you’d see him.

and it wasn’t for you, it was for him.

“i love you, i don’t think i’ll ever stop, but we both know how this will end,” he’s a lot closer now and his galaxy eyes are on your swollen eyes, on your shaking hands and he sighs, all his sharp edges erode and it hurts more than it ever has when he shakes his head as if he can’t believe it.

“i’m going to fix it, i promise, i will do anyt-“

“and we’ll break it again, you know this,” you say it as softly as you can, and the warmth returns but not for anything good, not for anything that will last, the warmth returns just enough for jungkook to graze the tips of your fingers with his hands and for the sunlight to shine on his red eyes.

“we will, yeah.” he agrees and your hands fall back into his, not to hold onto but to let go. your foreheads hold each other in place until you start to feel that you might never leave.

he lets you stare at him for several minutes, never once shying away from your gaze or questioning it, like he always has and you too let him take you in, for the last time this close.

“i love you too,” he says at the door and you suck in a breath, the wound stays fresh and bleeding but you have to go.

when you pull away, jungkook’s hand stays suspended in the air, waiting for you, even though it shouldn’t.

when you step out of his apartment, you wait for your phone to ring, even though you shouldn’t.

but his hands stay cold and your phone stays silent.

-

parties were boring.

a room full of people you don’t like, having to squeeze between them and their conversations, ignore the spilled drinks on the floor, and trying to keep a pleasant face through all of it, was still the hardest thing to do.

what was harder was seeing jungkook in the other corner of the room and him pretending that he never saw you.

but he still heads straight towards you.

you head towards him too.

but you don’t meet in the middle, you don’t stop for a chat and a smile, you don’t repeat history, you walk right past each other and never look back.

you see jungkook, you gravitate towards jungkook, you lean on jungkook, you like jungkook, and you leave jungkook.

he leaves you too.

-

taglist: @smoljimjim @lovingkoalaface @kookiescutie @reallygenerouskoala @krisdu83 (thank you so much for being excited for this, i hope you like it <3)

[mammons-lover]

Therapy With Mammon

Therapist (smiling warmly, gesturing toward the seat): Hello, Mammon. Please, have a seat.

Mammon (flopping into the chair with a grin): What’s up, Doc? How ya doin’?!

Therapist (chuckling softly): I’m doing well, thank you. And you?

Mammon (leaning back, arms crossed casually): Me? Oh, I’m amazin’, as usual. So, uh, what’s this all about again?

Therapist (calmly): Well, I was hoping you could tell me. What made you decide to come see me today?

Mammon (scratching the back of his neck, feigning nonchalance): Oh, y’know... just wanted to chat. You’ve heard about what happened with Lucifer and Satan, right?

Therapist (nodding slightly): I’m aware of the incident, but I’d like to hear it from your perspective.

Mammon (avoiding eye contact, voice lighter than the weight of his words): Ah, it ain’t that big a deal... just, y’know, Lucifer losin’ it. Hurtin’ Satan. But nah, that’s not why I’m here. I just... don’t wanna end up like him.

Therapist (leaning forward slightly, tone gentle): And what do you mean by that?

Mammon (grinning nervously): I mean, I don’t wanna hurt him, obviously! Not like... not like he hurt Satan.”

Therapist (noting the shift in tone): Why do you think you’d hurt Lucifer?

Mammon (shrugging, trying to stay light): Dunno... maybe ‘cause I get it now. What he told Diavolo, ‘bout all that resentment. I got it too. For him.

Therapist (gently): You resent Lucifer?

Mammon (hesitating, his voice quieter): To an extent... yeah. But it’s not hate, y’know? It’s more like... Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we didn’t fall.

Therapist (calmly encouraging): And how do you think you’d be?

Mammon (smiling wistfully, gaze distant): Different. Better, maybe. I wasn’t perfect, but I was a lot... kinder. People liked me, even when I messed up. I’d try to fix things back then. Now? Feels like everythin’ I touch just goes wrong.

Therapist: Can you give me an example?

Mammon (rubbing his face, voice heavy with frustration): Yeah, like when I tried to get Asmo that limited-edition makeup. He didn’t wanna camp out, so I did it for em'. The line was insane, so I... mighta found a way in. Long story short, I got caught, banned from the store, and couldn’t even afford the resold ones. He didn’t get it ‘cause I screwed up.

Therapist (softly): Do you think things like that would happen if you were still an angel?

Mammon (quietly): Maybe... but the old me wouldn’t’ve stopped ‘til I got it for him. No matter what.

Therapist: How does this tie back to Lucifer?

Mammon (voice hardening, anger creeping in): He’s the reason I’m not the old me anymore. Sure, I chose to trust him when we fell, even when I doubted him. But now, when I see myself in the mirror... in my demon form... I can’t stop thinkin’ about how beautiful my wings used to be. Or how my brothers looked the day we fell—cryin’, changin’, thinkin’ we’d lost Lilith forever.

Therapist (gently): Thinking?

Mammon (smirking, but it doesn’t reach his eyes): Yeah. Lucifer doesn’t know, I know, but I overheard him and Diavolo. She didn’t die—she became human.

Therapist (curious): Have you ever thought about telling Lucifer you know?

Mammon (frowning, shaking his head): Nah. He wouldn’t like it, and I don’t wanna end up like Satan.

Therapist (concerned): Are you afraid Lucifer would hurt you?

Mammon (voice lowering, fists clenching): You didn’t see him. The way he looked at Satan, like he was some enemy—not family. It was... cold. If he could do that to one of us once, what’s stoppin’ him from doin’ it again?

Therapist: Do you think he will?

Mammon (after a long silence, voice steady): Yeah. And when he does... I’ll be ready.

Therapist (watching him closely): Ready how?

Mammon (leaning forward, voice ice-cold): Last time, I was scared. I tried protectin’ Satan by throwin’ myself over him, but it wasn’t enough. If Lucifer hurts one of my brothers like that again... I’ll kill him. No hesitation...

Therapist (gently but firmly): Do you really think killing your own brother is the answer?

Mammon (gritting his teeth): If I could fight against my brothers and sisters in the Celestial Realm, I can do it here too. I’d lose, sure, but I’d do whatever it takes to protect my family. Even if it costs me everything.

A/n: I wanted to show how Mammon tries to mask his feelings at first, playing things off and acting playful—until the conversation turns serious. Unlike Lucifer, who’s cold and standoffish with the therapist, Mammon’s emotions slip through once they start talking about what happened. He also truly believes he might have to face Lucifer one day, and even knowing how difficult it would be, but he’d do anything to protect his family. Next up is Levi, then Lucifer—I’ve already got them written! Hope you enjoy!

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

ricochet l Javier Peña

Summary:  you shouldn't sleep with a coworker who also irritates you so much

Warnings:  +18, smut, angst, swearing, fingering, sex without protection (don’t do that!), guns, shooting, violence

A/N: this is my first story for javier. please be gentle with me. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

A loud knock echoed through your apartment and it was it that woke you up. You reached for the clock lying on the nightstand and groaned quietly. It was almost two in the morning, not the best time for visits. However, the knocking didn’t stop and eventually you had to drag yourself out of bed.

On your way to the door you turned on the lamp in the living room and soon turned the key.

"What the fuck, Javi?" you hissed seeing a familiar face on the other side "Do you know what time it is?"

"Perfect for a visit to such a beautiful woman." he replied, leaning nonchalantly against your door, his dark eyes running down your body dressed only in shorts and a top "I was wondering what you wear to sleep, hermosa. So, naked only next to me?"

"You're drunk." you stated, crossing your arms over your chest "Jesus, did you really have to come here?"

"There's no better place. Can I come in?"

Javier didn't wait for an answer, he just passed you in the doorway and finally sat down on your couch. You watched as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and soon you smelled the pungent smell of smoke.

"Why did you come?" you asked, approaching him with resignation. "Can't you get to your apartment by yourself?"

He took a drag on his cigarette and a wisp of smoke escaped from between his lips. He had time. Drunk Javier Peña always had time, and he liked to spend it the most on teasing you. Testing your limits was his passion, even when sober.

You made one serious mistake. A mistake that shouldn't be made with a coworker. 

Some time ago, you slept with Javier when you were both celebrating someone's birthday. You were drunk, and so was he. 

He seemed so charming and seductive then. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear, telling you what you could do together if you just left that hole in the wall. His large hand rested on your thigh, slowly moving higher and higher.

So you went to your apartment and you did it. Not once. Three times, to be honest. 

After that, you thought everything would go back to normal. You'd be back at your desk in the office, working together to take down the Medellín Cartel and everything would be like it used to be.

You couldn't have been more wrong.

Your verbal fights were becoming more and more frequent and sometimes it was only Murphy who was able to send you back to your corners. Recently, Peña outdid himself when he wanted to forbid you from going with the team to arrest a larger group of people.

And at that very moment, he was sitting drunk in your living room, completely unconcerned about anything.

"I missed you, dulce." (sweet) he groaned looking at you with tenderness "I've been wondering all evening why you're so mean to me..."

"Mean?!" you repeated after him snorting.

"...and haughty. I thought that after such a good fuck you should be much nicer to me."

Your jaw dropped to the floor. You didn't feel like sleeping anymore, but your blood pressure was quickly rising.

"Javier, what the fuck are you talking about!" you finally choked out “I should be nicer? You treat me like some secretary, but we should work together as a team. Besides... Fuck! I'm not going to talk to you about this now! Go back to your place. You're drunk."

Javier stubbed out his cigarette in the glass ashtray lying on the coffee table and stood up slowly approaching you. His dark eyes bored through you and you felt uncomfortable at that moment.

"I know you don't mean it, hermosa." he said in a quiet but firm voice "I know you'd like to feel my cock inside you again. And do you wanna know how I know that?" he leaned in so he could whisper in your ear "I can still taste your pussy on my tongue. The sweetest I've ever had. Addictive."

A shiver ran down your spine straight to your core, but you didn't let it show. You couldn't let him win. 

Yes! Of course you were thinking back to that night, but Javier was so sure of himself that you would never admit it.

"Get out." you replied seeing a sly smile appearing under his mustache.

"Are you scared because I told the truth?"

"I'm not scared, Peña. I'm not one of your hookers that you can come to whenever your pants get too tight. Get out."

Still smiling he passed you, gently nudging your shoulder and soon you heard the door slam shut.

Fucking Javier Peña.

The next day at the office, you both pretended that nothing had happened. You focused on your work, not even looking up when Peña and Murphy showed up. 

The day passed with paperwork and drinking a dozen cups of coffee. The thought of going to a night meeting with one of the informants was not something you were excited to do, especially since you didn't get a good night's sleep last night, but you didn't want to give it up.

When the office slowly started to empty, you took your walkman out of the drawer, slid in the cassette that you got from the colleague at the desk next to you and soon closed your eyes, hoping for a moment of rest before leaving. 

Music quietly resounded in your ears. You sat comfortably in the chair, resting your legs on the desk and tried to restart your brain.

This work was exhausting, but with each subsequent arrest you felt more and more proud of what you were doing. You were far from achieving your goals, but maybe soon...

Your heavy desk shook strangely, and after a second someone slid your headphones off your ears.

"Don't sleep during shift!"

Javier sat down on some of your papers, completely unconcerned that he had knocked a few files to the ground.

"What's this?" he asked, turning the box from your cassette over in his fingers.

"I got this. From Bradley. Could you?" you held out your hand for him to give you what was yours, but Javier had no intention of doing so yet.

"Did he make you a compilation of some romantic shit?" he snorted. "I don't want to worry you, sweetie, but Mr. Bradley definitely wants to get into your panties."

"Why do you think I'm worried about that?"

"Because you deserve more." he put the box on your outstretched hand.

"Oh! You mean someone like you?" you raised your eyebrows, trying not to laugh. "Maybe I prefer nice guys, Peña."

"I'm nice guy, hermosa." He unceremoniously reached for your cup of cold coffee and took a few sips. "You're the only one who doesn't want to admit that you have a wet patch in your panties just by the sight of me."

"I won't be the one to boost your already too high ego, babe." You replied, sliding your legs off the desk. "You're doing it yourself perfectly well. Did you come to tease me or do you have some business?"

His smile disappeared and Javier frowned. Yes, he had a business.

"I heard you were going to meet the informant right away. I thought I could replace you."

"Why?" You frowned, surprised by his proposal.

Javier looked away from you as if he was looking for the right words.

"It's just a bad neighborhood, you know. I don't want you to go there alone." He finally replied.

"I'll be with Bradley, so what could happen?"

"Bradley? Jesus, really?" he automatically reached for a cigarette, but didn't light it, just rolled it in his long fingers "In that case, I'll go with you instead of him."

"No." you shook your head "You can't keep interfering in my work. He's my informant, and a stranger will only scare him."

"Bullshit!"

"I won't discuss this with you." you stated, standing up and picking up your bag "If you have a problem with me, go to the boss. But don't tell me what I can and can't do."

You noticed Bradley calling you to the door and you headed towards him, still feeling Javier's gaze on you.

"Y/N!" his voice sounded like a gunshot in the now empty office, you looked in his direction "Be careful."

"Have you seen Y/L/M today?"

Murphy looked at his friend in surprise. He looked around the office, but he didn't see a familiar face anywhere.

"Wasn't she supposed to meet with an informant yesterday?" he asked, returning his gaze to the documents he held in his hand. "She probably overslept."

"Y/N never did it." Javier mumbled, quickly glancing towards the opening door as if he was counting on seeing you there.

"Maybe she's already gone home. We spent a few hours out of town. Maybe you should just call her or go over to her place. By the way, why are you so interested?"

"Fuck off."

Murphy smiled as he saw Javier reach for the phone and dial a number. However, after a few rings, he hung up, disappointed.

"Nothing?"

Peña shook his head.

"Hey! Have you seen Bradley?" he called out to the employee who was sitting near your desk.

"Not today." he replied "I think he took the day off."

"And agent Y/L/N?"

"Same here."

"Office romance?" Steve smiled looking at Javier, but he didn't seem calmer. "We were going to leave anyway so why don't you just go to her, huh?"

"Yeah, I'll do that." he nodded.

But even though he showed up at your door and knocked for a long time, no one opened it. Javier felt a strange knot in his stomach, something like a bad feeling, although he preferred not to think about it.

He already felt like an idiot. He didn't know why he came and why he cared so much. Javier had known you for almost two years and it was quite an interesting acquaintance.

He would never admit it openly, but he loved teasing you, and at the same time he respected your professionalism very much. You never ran away from hard work, even if it meant working late at night.

He liked watching you work in the field or at your desk. He knew how you drink your coffee and that you take your shoes off under your desk when you do paperwork.

Peña was a man of flesh and blood, he could appreciate the beauty of women and had a weakness for them. And somehow you didn't have a weakness for him. Maybe that was what attracted him to you?

"And? Have you seen her?"

Javier shook his head, taking the cigarette out of his mouth "I was there, but the apartment seems empty."

"Have you asked the neighbors?" Murphy sat down at his desk "These old grannies often know a lot more."

"They haven't seen her in two days." unexpectedly Peña frowned and craned his neck, spotting someone in the distance "Is that fucking Bradley?"

Murphy spun around in his chair "Yeah, that's him. But somehow... Peña!"

But the man was already heading towards Bradley. The man had not yet managed to get to his desk when it stopped in front of him.

"Hi. Did you see..." but suddenly he saw something that worried him even more "What happened to your face?"

"Someone beat you up?" Steve asked approaching them "What the fuck?"

"Where's Y/N?" Javier immediately interjected.

Bradley looked at both men a little confused. There was a yellow bruise under his eye, and a cut was visible on his lower lip, he also looked a little sore.

"It happened after that meeting with the informant." he mumbled, pointing to his face "Y/N and I ran into some bad company."

"What about her?" Javier was already clearly worried.

"I don't know..."

"What?!" Peña raised his voice so much that Steve had to put a hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down "You were there with her! What the fuck happened?"

"I told you! We left the meeting. We were about to go to the car when a few guys stopped us. They were hitting on Y/N. We got into a discussion and when it turned out that I am a cop..."

Peña felt like something heavy had fallen into his stomach. A thousand visions of what could have happened were flashing through his mind.

However, Bradley continued "We had a bit of a fight. After everything was over I took Y/N to the hospital, but she didn't want me to stay with her so I went to my place."

"You left her there alone, you idiot?!" Javier growled.

"She's not a child! She told me to fuck off, what was I supposed to do?!" Bradley was already furious too "Go to her if you fucking care about her so much!"

"I'll do it!"

A knock on the door echoed throughout the hallway again. An older woman poked her head out of one of the apartments and for a moment watched the black-haired man knocking on the door of the young woman she sometimes saw.

"Y/N! I know you're there!" Javier finally announced towards the closed door "If you don't open it, I'll come here with a whole strike force! You don't want a fucking mess here, do you? Open this fucking door!"

He put his ear to the door and was sure he heard movement behind it. You had to be there.

"Y/N... please." he added a little calmer "It's me."

After a dozen or so long seconds, he heard the key turn in the lock and the door opened, letting some light into the dark hallway. Javier wasn't ready for what he saw.

He felt like his heart had broken into a million pieces at the sight of your face. Your eyes were red, probably from crying. There was also a bruised cheek and an ugly cut lower lip, and with each passing moment he noticed more and more.

"Hi." your quiet voice was barely audible where he stood "I took a few days off. Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone..." Apart from you.

"I noticed." he mumbled "Can I come in?"

You opened the door wider and Javier slipped inside, closing it carefully behind him. The room was dimly lit, a few lamps and a few candles were lit. He noticed the curtains being drawn, as if you wanted to hide from the whole world.

"Would you like to..." you didn't finish, because his hand grabbed your chin lightly.

Peña directed your face towards the nearest light source. You saw the glow reflected in his eyes, which were carefully studying you. He let out a quiet breath when he noticed the bruises on your neck, as if a man's hand had left a mark. A few scratches on your arms.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"Javier, please..." you whimpered, feeling tears welling up in your eyes, it was too painful for you, too intimate.

"Tell me. Please, hermosa.” He wasn't ordering, he was begging you. He was asking you to trust him.

You clumsily grabbed the edge of your shirt and lifted it, showing him the bruises on your side. His breath caught in his lungs.

"They're not broken." You said as warm fingers brushed your skin. "I had an X-ray. It just looks that awful. And it hurts a little."

"Did they... Did they do anything more?"

You knew perfectly well what Peña meant. You lowered your shirt.

"No." You shook your head and he wiped his mouth with his hand. "They talked about it, but... No, nothing more."

"Thank God."

You didn't know what to say. Tears filled your eyes and after a moment you felt his strong arms hug you to his chest. You snuggled into him, sobbing quietly. You felt his hands as he stroked your hair and back, trying not to cause any more pain.

"It's okay, hermosa.” he said quietly, kissing your forehead. "You're safe. You should have called me. You know I would have come right away."

"I didn't want to bother you, besides, it's just bruises..."

"But I want you to bother me. If something happened to you... Fuck! Would you be able to recognize them?"

"I don't know, I don't think so..." you moved away from him and sat down carefully on the couch. "I don't want to go back to this, Javier. I'll be back at work in a few days... We've gathered new information..."

"Fuck this whole cartel! Fuck Escobar!" he growled. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror?!"

"I see myself all the time. And I assure you, today I look really good."

He shook his head in disbelief. You looked so much like him. Peña seemed to be starting to understand why he was pissing you off so much.

"I know what you're thinking and I don't want you to do this." You finally spoke up, his watchful gaze settling on your face. "You're not going to be running around the streets looking for those guys now. That's not your job, Javier. There are more important things."

"You're important!" he hissed, pointing a finger at you. "I should go to Bradley and kick his ass. And then find those fucking guys and do to them what they did to you."

"But you're not going anywhere and you're not going to do anything." You saw him thrashing around like a beast in a cage. Javier Peña was demanding blood and revenge. "Listen, I knew what I was getting into when I came here. It could have been worse. I could have been raped by a few and ended up in some ditch on the outskirts of town."

"Sweet Jesus Christ!" Peña groaned "This is no time for such jokes!"

"I'm not joking." Now you were standing too, ready to face him "The bruises will heal, and we're here for something more. You can yell at me, you know I can take it. But you have to focus on our work!"

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He quickly lit the first one and inhaled the smoke. He knew you were right. He would tell you the same thing if he was standing in your place.

Finally, he nodded, admitting you were right, and a faint smile of relief appeared on your face.

"But from now on, you'll be riding with me to and from work. I don't accept any objections!"

Getting back to work turned out to be easier than you thought. The information you had gathered helped you track down the nearest smuggling operation and the entire unit was preparing for new arrests. You had been putting in long hours at work, so Javier's offer to drive you home really suited you.

Although at first glance your contacts hadn't changed, you had noticed that he had become much calmer when he had his eye on you. You had caught him looking around the office more than once, searching for you. You had smiled and shaken your head reproachfully when he had winked at you.

However, all of that had gone to hell an hour before you had to leave to stop the transfer. Murphy had found you arguing fiercely by the car and it had taken him a while to figure out what you were on about.

"Peña's gone crazy!" you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest, "He doesn't want me to go with you! I'm the one who got that fucking information!"

"They're going to shoot there, loca!" (crazy) he growled with his hands on his hips.

"Oh! I thought we were going on a fucking picnic!"

"Maybe Y/N should wear a vest, she'll be close to us." Murphy butted in, not afraid of his friend's angry glare.

"That's an idea!" you replied pleased with Steve’s words "I'll take the fucking vest! Will you be happy then, Peña?"

"Not really." he grumbled "You have to stay close to me."

"But not too close." you added getting into his car.

"Close!" he growled, slamming the door.

He didn't like the idea, and he didn't like Murphy standing by your side even more. The whole way out of town he clenched his fingers tightly on the steering wheel. He would feel much calmer if you stayed in the office, but you didn't listen to him again. You were already leaving the forest when he reached into the backseat and threw a green bulletproof vest on your lap.

You rolled your eyes, but Peña ignored it. 

"Put it on."

So you followed his order and then stayed close. However, neither of you were ready for what was happening. The group of smugglers turned out to be larger and soon the shooting began.

You dodged the bullets by hiding behind the wall of the building. A dozen or so members of the strike team passed you. You went after them, seeing Peña's back in the distance. You spotted the first arrestees, and Murphy was throwing some trucks out from behind the wheel.

"Y/L/N!"

You noticed Peña calling you and went towards him when you heard a gunshot. Something hit you in the chest and you staggered, but after a moment you saw Javier aiming at some guy behind a nearby building. More shots were fired

"Hey!" Steve ran up to you "Is something... Fuck!"

"Vest." You mumbled in surprise, feeling a hole under your fingers "The bullet must have bounced off something..."

Suddenly, Javier appeared next to you. Dark sweaty locks stuck to his forehead, a mixture of rage and fear was painted in his eyes.

"I saw you got hit!" he growled.

"She had a vest on!" Steve replied quickly "She's fine!"

"Fuck! I told you to stay!"

"It was a ricochet!" you replied furiously "I'm fine!"

"You were supposed to be close!" Peña retorted "To the car! I'm taking you back!"

"But I..."

However, he had already grabbed your arm tightly pulling you towards the car. You stumbled on the way, but he didn't even slow down. He forced you inside and slammed the door shut.

"Not a word!" he growled, threatening you with his finger as soon as you opened your mouth.

Soon he started the engine and you drove off abruptly. You drove out from between the buildings, heading down the road through the forest. You could feel how furious Javier was and you were angry at him yourself. He treated you like an intern, just because you were a woman.

"Are you going to stay silent the whole way?" you growled looking at his clenched jaw and deeply heaving chest "Fine! At least I don't have to listen to your bullshit!"

The car suddenly pulled onto a side road and stopped. In an instant Peña turned towards you. His dark eyes were focused on you, he looked like he wanted to tear you into a thousand pieces. Before you could say anything he ripped off your vest. You saw the relief on his face when he saw that you were indeed not injured.

"Fucking ricochet!" he hissed "You're so fucking stubborn! So annoying!"

"You're no better!" you replied "Just because I'm a woman you treat me like..."

You didn't finish. His hand grabbed the back of your neck and forcefully pulled you to him, your lips crushed hard. 

It was full of teeth and fighting between you. But you didn't back down when his tongue pushed between your lips. On the contrary, your hand moved to his crotch where you could feel how hard he was. 

You knew what he wanted, you wanted the same. You didn't protest when he quickly started to unbutton your pants. Your lips parted only for a moment to free your legs and then you sat on his lap, struggling with his zipper.

"So disobedient." he hissed through his teeth "You'll be the death of me someday."

"I'm not sure which of us will finish the other off first." you mumbled "But it's only a matter of time."

His hard cock came out and you knew you wouldn't last if you didn't feel him inside you right away. You felt his long fingers slide over your folds.

"So wet already?" Peña purred and a sly smile appeared under his mustache "I knew it, hermosa. You have a soft spot for me."

"Maybe I just want to fuck you?" you replied, one of his fingers slipping inside you.

"That's for sure!" his eyes were fixed on the spot where his hand was moving "You were rubbing that sexy ass of yours all over the office. Just waiting for me to put my cock in you one more time."

"Don't forget, you're the one who came to me trying to get into my bed again." you sighed, your hand rubbing his cock, a little precum glistening on his red tip.

"But I don't deny that I have a weakness for you, hermosa.”

His hand withdrew and he gripped your hips tightly to position you just above his manhood. His tip slid over your entrance a few times, then slid in in one swift movement.

The air escaped your lungs and your head fell back against Javier's forehead as you closed your eyes. His cock stretched you wonderfully, reaching so deep inside you. But you didn't want to wait any longer.

His hands squeezed your hips as you began to move up and down. In each thrust you felt all the stress and anger that filled you, but lust followed right behind it. The car filled with your moans and the sounds of skin slapping against skin.

"So good, hermosa. You're so tight, so good for me..." Javier whispered, his voice darker than usual "I've wanted to be back in that pussy for so long. Fuck! I'd take you on the fucking desk so everyone could see how good you take me."

You felt a slap on your ass, but it only made the excitement in your core grow. Peña's cock hit exactly the spot you wanted. He could do anything to you then.

"Jesus, right there..." you moaned "I'm so close!"

"That's good! You'll take everything I give you, right?" he began to press you harder against his hips "I knew that pussy was missing me, hermosa.”

"You're a bastard, Peña." you groaned "Fucking bastard."

"With the best cock you've ever had, right? I'm sure no one has ever fucked you like I have. C'mon, chica! Give it to me! I want to hear you come!"

"Javier, please..."

"Oh, you'll beg me again soon." His lips sucked on your neck below the collar of your shirt, leaving a mark on it. A mark that Javier Peña had you. "I'll fuck you so hard all night long that you won't be able to walk properly. Everyone in the office will know who owns this pussy!"

"Fuck!"

The velvet walls trembled and tightened around his cock as a spasm of pleasure spread through your body. You dug your nails into his shoulders, moaning loudly as you came. Javier was right behind you.

He thrust a few more times and came, spilling inside you. He breathed deeply, resting his head against the headrest. His dark eyes watched you lazily, you felt his hands running over your aching thighs.

"We should get back to the office." you finally spoke up. "Murphy will be there soon."

"You're probably right." he replied, his tongue licking his dry lips.

You slid off him, feeling his cum running down your thighs. However, you slipped into your panties and pants, trying to get yourself in order. The engine started.

Suddenly, you felt Javier's arm leaning against your seat, and when you looked up, you saw his face turned towards you. You couldn't decipher what was going on in his head.

"I really meant what I said." he declared, smiling slightly. "I have a soft spot for you, mujer loca.(crazy woman) And it will kill me someday."

"I don't know if I can make that happen, Javier." you replied, your hand tightened on his thigh. "You're worse than the cockroaches in our office's basement." he shook his head in disbelief "And that's why you were so tense and angry lately, huh? Your pants must have been really tight if you were still hard at the sight of me."

"Sweet as always." he snorted, laughing.

He leaned down and his lips touched yours again. But now he kissed you tenderly, exploring your mouth with his tongue, drawing from you the sweet moans he loved so much. 

You were his death, the sweetest he had ever known.

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[kandlewick]

i'll dry the villain's tears

t h e r o s e r e d t y r a n t ' s m o t h e r pt.2

you get reincarnated into a role that became the breaking point of the villain's story and you, be it an unwillingness to cause them harm or a desire to survive, must work hard to make sure they grow into a better (or at least safer) person.

You felt entirely too overdressed sitting here at the park. Your former body's wardrobe was obviously not meant for anything too strenuous and that apparently included just enjoying your time outside in the sun. You could feel the sweat gather in uncomfortable places... but your nerves weren't just because of the warm weather.

Trey's mother sat beside you, much more dressed for the occasion, and watched as Trey and Riddle reconnected. You could hear the two of them laugh and giggle as they began playing as if nothing had ever happened and the two were quick to run up the steps leading to the slide, followed by a whole gaggle of other children. You let out a soft sigh of relief at the sight.

Not just the clothes, but your body was so stiff and rigid it was hard to even relax as you tried to breath. Your back was straight as a rod while you sat on the uncomfortable park bench, your well manicured hands firm on your lap and you shuffled uncomfortably in place. Trey's mother eyed you from her spot on the bench and offered a small smile, like she was acknowledging how strenuous this whole situation was for you.

"I'm guessing you've never brought Riddle to a public park before, huh?" She crossed her arms and leaned on them over the table, linking her fingers together, "You look like you're about to faint."

You forced out a laugh, too embarrassed to meet her gaze and pulled at the high collar of your buttoned top. You could practically feel heat waves steaming off of you. "Something like that," you admitted, "I wasn't exactly a good mother when it came to recreational activities."

You inwardly cringed at your wording — what, is Miss Rosehearts vocabulary infecting you too?

Trey's mother hummed as she continued to look at you. You could feel her bright hazel eyes staring at you. You could feel a cold sweat drip down your neck.

"Please stop me if this sounds too forward," Trey's mother leaned back but quickly offered her hand to you, "but my name is Dinah."

You blinked up at her, startled. She... wanted you to shake her hand?

She offered up her hand again and made a motion for you to follow. Almost hesitantly, you reached out and clasped her hand in your own, shaking it. Her palms were so warm, comforting, almost the exact opposite of your body's cold touch. She smiled at you, the dimple on your cheek crinkling with delight.

"I figured since our children are such good friends, we could at least try and act cordial." She glanced over as your two children sat next to each other on the swing set, the elder Trey guiding Riddle on how to kick back his feet. Riddle was hesitant and stumbled a few times, but kept giggling all the same, obviously entranced.

"Trey likes to baby younger kids," Dinah smiled, "I wonder how he'd do with younger siblings..."

You noticed that too as Riddle followed him around like a little duckling chasing after its mama. Whatever Trey did, Riddle would follow even if it meant pushing his limits. Trey watched carefully from the other end of the playground as Riddle jumped from one platform to the next, his arms out and knees shaking as he tried to keep himself balanced. Whenever he would stumble and topple over the edge nearly sending him into a fit of tears, Trey was quick to act and followed him back to the beginning.

"He's a sweet kid." You mumbled, "You're a great mother."

She gave you an almost sympathetic look, noticing your tone before reaching out and grabbing your hand, "Hey, you're not doing so bad now either." She squeezed your hand in her own and offered you an encouraging smile, "Parenting isn't easy and sometimes you don't notice the damage until it's too late but look at you," She gestured to your whole self, "Better late then never, right?"

You both sat there idly chatting until much later then you had figured you would and before long, the sun had began to set, casting the park in a orange hue. You were caked in sweat but Riddle wasn't doing much better. The two children came back huffing and puffing from exhaustion, sweat dripping off their foreheads like rivers. Riddle looked especially tired, his cheeks a bright red.

"I think I'm ready to go now," Riddle sighed.

You gave him a small smile and pulled him close, rubbing your pristine sleeve against his cheeks and wiped away any of the dirt that stained his skin, laughing as he let out a soft whine. Trey wasn't faring any better and was quick to lean against his mother's lap. Dinah ruffled his hair but her face quickly grimaced at the sweat in his hair. The kids obviously were going to need a bath after this.

You pulled Riddle in to your arms and tucked him under your chin. His bright red hair tickled your face but you held him even closer as his arms wrapped around your neck. He let out a soft sigh against your shoulder. Trey, being much taller then Riddle, simply grabbed Dinah's hand. He tiredly looked up at the young boy in your arms and smiled, his hands raising to offer Riddle a small wave.

"Bye, Riddle. We'll play again sometime, ok?"

Riddle turned his head and nodded, a sleepy smile on his face, "Mmmhm..."

"We will do this again sometime, right?" Dinah lowered her voice and leaned over so that Trey wouldn't be in ear shot, "This isn't a one time thing?"

"Oh?" You blinked over at her. Oh! "Yes!" You reassured her, your voice a little too loud, "Yes, we would love that. Riddle would love to." I would love to!! You screamed in your head, eager to befriend her. You wanted friends too!!!

Dinah gave you a dazzlingly bright smile, "Then I think we should invite Chen'ya and his uncle next time too!" Riddle and Trey straightened up at this and you could tell the two of them were excited about the thought.

"His uncle?" You questioned. That doesn't sound very familiar.

"Oh yeah," Dinah laughed behind her hand, "Chen'ya's parents are always out of the country on business so he lives with his uncle and his grandfather. My husband and I are good friends with them both and his uncle is a really fun guy, I'm sure you'd find him... interesting!"

It would certainly be interesting meeting someone new that you had no idea about... plus you'd be able to apologize properly to Chen'ya and whoever his guardian was. It could possibly be very... fun. You could feel your body hum in excitement as you found yourself nodding eagerly, nearly bouncing Riddle in your arms, "I would like that very much."

And then after exchanging phone numbers, you and Dinah parted ways, the two children eager to return home and rest.

"Mmmm," Riddle hummed in your arms, his hold on you loosening as he began drifting off, "I had a lot of fun today —" He yawned loudly, his head burrowing itself further into your neck, a content smile on his face, "Thank you."

[spacequokka]

It's the (Right) Time

Pairing: Jaebeom x Reader Genre: fluff, humor Rating: G Summary: Doing the White Elephant gift exchange with Jay B and the boys. Word Count: 0.6k Warnings: None, just meme7 doing their thing.

A/N: Can you guess which song the title came from?

"Play White Elephant with us," they said. "It'll be fun," they said. Honestly, you should've known better considering who was involved. Since when has GOT7 done anything with an ounce of control? The second the last person invited to BamBam's place walked through the door, drinks were passed out and chaos ensued. You ended up sitting cross-legged in a circle with the boys, clutching your carefully wrapped package—a vintage record player you found at a flea market—hoping it wouldn't be the most memorable gift for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't impossible to find vinyl records…right? You added it to the pile while the guys fought over snacks and refills.

"Number seven!" BamBam called out with way too much enthusiasm, waving the little paper slip. You took it with trembling hands. Seven, last pick. That could ever be really good or really bad. You crossed your fingers.

Jackson was practically vibrating with excitement then drew number one. "First pick! The universe loves me!" He kissed the slip of paper then crawled forwards on his knees to survey the pile of presents in the middle of the circle. Each one was wrapped in different patterns of holiday paper, but the designs chosen hinted at who wrapped what. After much deliberation and dramatic pointing, Jackson went for a small box wrapped in silver.

The game moved quickly after that. Youngjae picked a tall gift back and found a mini karaoke machine inside, which Mark immediately stole. Jinyoung carefully selected a medium-sized box that turned out to be a rare book collection, which made his eyes light up. BamBam ended up with a designer scarf after three different steals, and Yugyeom somehow landed a set of limited edition Deadpool plushies.

Then it was Jay's turn, right before yours. He studied the remaining two gifts with that intense focus he usually reserves for reviewing song lyrics. His gaze landed on your package and you held your breath. The record player would be a perfect fit for him--you lowkey picked it with him in mind, knowing he already had a collection.

"This one," he muttered as he reached for your gift. Of course.

You watched as he carefully peeled back the paper, his eyes widening when he realized what it was. "No way," he breathed, running his fingers over the vintage wood. "This is…this is incredible." It's the look in his eyes that does it, a tender joy that leaves him with a barely there smirk.

You're last and there's only one gift left—a squishy package wrapped in red and gold. For a minute you panic. Soft gifts in a game of White Elephant can mean trouble. Inside, you find the softest fleece hoodie you've ever touched, clearly oversized and perfect for winter.

"That was mine," Jay scoots closer to you. When you look up, he's smiling gently in a way that makes his eyes crinkle. "Seems fair, doesn't it? You got my gift, I got yours."

"Did you know?" you ask, wondering if somehow he'd guessed which present you bought.

He nods, still smiling. "As their leader, it's my job to keep an eye on everything going on." He glances at the record player then back at you. "How did you know I've been looking for one exactly like this?"

"I didn't! I saw it—"

"Okay, but can we talk about how I ended up with socks? Socks?!" Jackson launched himself across the circle at Mark. "I trusted you!"

The room erupted with laughter. Jay caught your eye again, mouthing a silent "thank you" before getting to his feet to wrangle Jackson back to the couch. You pulled on the new hoodie. It smelled faintly of vanilla and coffee, just like him. Sometimes the best gifts are the ones you don't plan for.