#but I can't tell what it is
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Worst thing is uploading art and instantly hating it
#it's because I'm insane#i have impossible standards#but also all I want is draw hot dudes#why is that so hard#literally going insane over a guys hairline because it just doesn't look right#but I can't tell what it is#and now knowing drives me absolutely bonkers#i hate it when things are unbeknownst to me#and like#can everyone else see it#can everyone else see what is off?#or have I just stared for it for too long#i can't stop obsessing over it it's actually debilitating#like I will make minute changes in liquify and change my upload 15 times only to still hate it in the end#i am unwell
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I'm sorry but I go into crazy analyzing mode when I can't place someone, and every thing about my date that struck me as odd is described in books about psychopathy. Like his entire behavior pattern is written out in front of me and it's all clicking.
#personal#It's just... very interesting when I feel something off about a person#but I can't tell what it is#and I have an obsessive need to figure out what it is#thank God my instincts are this good#I thought he was “just” a narcissist but I KNOW narcissism up close and that wasn't fully it
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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You know those aesthetic image posts that float around tumblr? I'm . . . starting to see a lot on my dash that are obviously ai-generated. Are non-artists having trouble telling the difference between AI images and real photos, or are people starting to stop care about the stolen art that gets fed into those programs?
#i think it's just that people can't tell the difference between original art/photos and AI stuff#might revisit this later with something of a guide to help people notice at a glance#because once you know what to look for?#it's impossible not to see it#anyway don't feel bad if you reblogged ai stuff by accident#i just spent a lot of time studying it and also art
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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Years resisting this screenshot redraw and I finally caved
(The Princess Mononoke one)
#astarion#staeve#bg3#the irony isn't missed on me no#but if you can't tell the difference between this and what I talked about yesterday idk what to tell you
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Accidentally saw some spoiler screenshots for the season finale yesterday and now after seeing the recent episode I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING FOR PERI
#fairly oddparents a new wish#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#peri#peri fairly oddparents#a new wish#periwinkle#my art#fanart#Can't really tell much what I saw since the finale is tomorrow anyway#But hoo boy#we will see how tear jerking the finale might end up#really hoping that I'm wrong though
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FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 61-64)
* I-I don't think we were talking about the same thing...
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#FINALLY FINISHED THIS WOHOO#Okay so#I have been keeping this small part of info secret for SOOOO long and it was so funny that JUST this week I got a ton of asks about#Wingdings' voice and I was SO tempted to talk about this little detail#BTW I DIDN'T FULLY MAKE THIS UP#i mean#Yeah I did#BUT IT IS BASED ON SOMETHING I NOTICED!!!!!!#When redacted talks in Wingdings the sound is clean#but when we listen to entry 17 (which is most likely a recording)#There's a VERY loud overlay of garbage noise#And so I was like#I could use this.........#like yeah a sound based on symbols?? we can't understand it! but our brains might do the work for us and maybe try to understand it?#but recording it goes very bad.....#I thought it was fun so I made it a hc for Gaster#and then I applied it here :D#lol#I think the pacing of this one is also a bit too fast but ehh#I hope it's clear#I am so proud of how I drew Alphys in these pages I feel like I am finally understanding her shape and how I want to stylize her#Sans is very good at reading people#He can tell when people are lying#that's why Wingdings didn't lie! he just conveniently forgot to tell him some details about what they found#okay yeah that's enough#TIME FOR THE TAGS#undertale#forgettable-au#forgettable-au-comic#sans
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Timelock 🕰️
A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on december 1st!
#doctor who#dr who#DW#tenth doctor#david tennant#10th doctor#gallifrey#my art#I'm drawing at inhuman speed to meet deadlines I can't even tell what looks okay anymore#I have two more things to turn in tonight then I have to render videos then take a shower and be up super early tomorrow aaa 🫠#also hey Ten drawing at hour ten#I loved this part in The day of the doctor special SO MUCH this whole concept I love I love#reminded me of the FFXIV calamity forming Dalamud ahhhh
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Had the silliest idea while making breakfast.. what if Damian’s Favorite Brother is Tim, but for the Dumbest Reason...pancakes
My idea is that Tim is Damian’s favorite brother, but not for the reasons one might expect. It’s not because of Tim’s skill, his smarts, or his ability to stay three steps ahead in every fight. Nope. Damian’s real reason for favoring Tim over Dick, Jason, or even Bruce is much simpler.
It’s because Tim makes the best pancakes. Like, legendary pancakes.
Not even kidding.
One morning, Tim casually whips up a batch of pancakes in the kitchen—y’know, because Alfred’s off running errands and the rest of the family doesn’t know the first thing about breakfast beyond opening a box of cereal, and Tim's been feeding himself since he was six. So Tim steps up to the stove, and bam—fluffy, golden stacks of heaven.
Damian, who never really cared for breakfast, takes one bite of Tim’s pancakes and is sold. From that moment on, he’s obsessed.
“Drake, you will make me those pancakes again tomorrow."
And Tim just blinks, completely confused, but shrugs it off like, “Uh, sure?”
The next morning, Damian’s right there in the kitchen, bright and early, waiting for his daily dose of pancake perfection. By the third day, he’s even dragging a chair next to Tim, watching like a hawk as Tim cooks, making sure he’s using the right ingredients.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Batfamily is just like, “Really? This is the thing that bonds them?”
Tim, being Tim, just rolls with it. He doesn’t ask questions. If Damian wants pancakes, Damian gets pancakes. He’s just trying to survive his new role as “Pancake Master.”
But Damian? Oh, he’s serious about this.
Damian tells anyone who will listen that Tim is the only one who knows how to make breakfast properly. He’ll give the other brothers side-eye anytime they dare to suggest they could cook for him. Even Alfred raises an eyebrow, but Damian’s already set: Tim’s pancakes or nothing.
What’s even funnier is that when Damian gets pissed off at anyone, he refuses to eat their cooking. But Tim? Untouchable. The one person who can screw up as many times as he wants and still be in Damian’s good graces—because those pancakes? Irreplaceable.
So, while the Batfamily argues over strategy, patrols, or who gets to drive the Batmobile, Damian's priorities are clear:
"You’re all amateurs. Drake’s the only one who makes pancakes worthy of the Wayne name.”
And now, Tim’s been promoted to Damian’s favorite brother for the silliest reason imaginable. But hey, if the key to Damian’s heart is pancakes, Tim’s got that title locked down.
#tim drake#damian wayne#batfam#tim drake and damian wayne#tim makes pancakes like no other#and becomes damians favorite brother in the process#the bats can't deny that tim's pancakes are delicious but like#really? that's what made him the favorite brother?#tim learned to make pancakes from janet who was always an incredible cook#tim has a different kind of pancake batter mix for each of the bats#bruce is traditional with buttermilk pancakes#jason likes banana nut#dick prefers blueberry pancakes#tim makes himself chocolate chip pancakes#damian loves all of tims combinations but his favorite is undoubtedly vegan matcha pancakes#i was making banana pancakes when i though of this can you tell
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Guys, do you know that after the Reign of Terror there was an edgy fashion trend among posh young girls who didn't get guillotined of wearing red ribbons around their necks as a morbid fashion statement - that they survived / to commemorate their family members who didn't ?
...which could mean nothing
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#lestat#lestat de lioncourt#sam reid#I really can't tell to what extend is this common knowledge and to what am I just fashion history nerd#so just in case#iwtv s3#sdcc 2024
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sidelong
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fushiita#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#i havent drawn a dedicated itfs piece in so long im a fraud dont look at me......................#i offer u pining!yuuji content. as Penance.#i feel like its usually fushiguro emotionally repressed megumi who ppl draw/make content of looking Longingly @ yuuji#and like. for good reason i mean look at him#but i feel like hopelessly-in-love-w-his-best-friend yuuji is a comparatively slept on concept#or maybe im not looking in the right places idk man#fleeting glances and longing stares and I Should Tell Him I Can't Tell Him.....OUgh#anyway i like how the pendulum seems to have hard swung back in2 me using a bunch of red#i feel like my values r so much better now tho n like. god help me im having fun painting again what has happened#it never lasts long but for rn this is probably one of my favourite things ive drawn in a minute!!!#i love u contrast i love u random bits of red i love u harsh shadows and dramatic light sources#and it didnt even take me a week this time !!!!
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makes me giggle to think of X2 Logan meeting dp&w Logan when this is a thing
#“don't tell me you fuckin liked it 🤨” “you have no idea 😃”#x2 logan is going to see that in the tva screens and go 🤨😳🏳️🌈⁉️#dp&w Logan going “you don't understand he's fucked up he's my favorite of these assholes”#and then turn around and yell at wade “FUCKTARD”#hear the distinct “oh he's adorable can't resist flirting with me across the room LOVE YOU TOO SHITFACE”#“KEEP AN EYE ON OUR DAUGHTER OR IT'S MY SWORDS IN YOUR DELICIOUS ABS IN THREE SECONDS”#x2 Logan going 🤨 at the daughter in question mary puppins#Logan being as hung up on Jean as he'd been might just Reconsider mr wade wilson#👀👀👀👀👀👀👀#pspsps Logan#one rainbow brigade bitch to another? i dont think jean can do that#she clawed u up that one time but see what walmart santa claus is doing here#he's riddling you with bullets ✅ fuckin emptying the cartridges on your scrumdiddlydumptruck ass#he's stabbing adamantium ADAMANTIUM swords in you up until the sword hilts ✅#Logan listen#jean needed to be with phoenix first before Doing All Those Things Which She Did With You#but Deadpool? Deadpool is in it for the shits and giggles#Look. I'm not a woman of science. But there seems to be Chemistry among us.#I'd hit the emergency meeting button but i don't fucking want to 😁#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda Odyssey
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Social anxiety level: Chatting with someone experiencing a schizophrenic episode and becoming increasingly self-concious of how I'm just saying "That sounds really stressful", "I've never heard of that but it sounds scary", and "You must be pretty worried about that" over and over again
#They needed someone to wait with them while their friend came to pick them up#And the whole time I was waiting for them to call bullshit#Like YOU HAVENT SAID ANYTHING MEANINGFUL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS#I'm sorry I'm making this one about me ma'am I'm just terrified that everyone I talk to is gonna give be a bad grade#I don't understand or beleive most of what you're saying but from the legit science you're quoting I can tell you've done some research#The research stuff I appreciate we can totally talk about that#Please God let me talk about Chordata or HTML instead of the thing I can't see or hear wouthout encouraging your delusion#I'd get SUCH a good grade at discussing invertebrates with you
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There's this weird take I've seen floating around on TikTok that Bill doesn't actually care about his family/dimension or Stanford at all; that we're supposed to take everything in TBOB as non-canon basically because he's lying to garner sympathy from reader to make a deal with them. I'm all for having your own interpretations of media, but I just don't think this idea that Bill is a completely heartless unfeeling creature is supported by canon at all. In fact, it kind of feels like the opposite of the point of the book.
Like, yeah, most things Bill says should be taken with a grain of salt because he lies a lot, but he's not actually a very good liar? It's usually pretty easy to clock when he's full of it. But okay, even if we assume every word Bill says while trying to recruit the reader is a lie, there are three major things that this doesn't account for.
Bill is not the only source in the book. The lost Journal 3 pages were written by Stanford, we only know about the interdimensional Taco Bell incident because of an included police transcript, etc.
Even once he's lost any chance of making a deal with the reader to escape, Bill is having a complete breakdown and mentions all the people he so totally doesn't miss for real you guys. Why bother with reverse psychology double-lying for sympathy once his shot at getting the reader on his side is already gone?
Trying to garner the reader's sympathy makes sense to a certain extent, but why go out of his way to make himself look pathetic? Does revealing that he got drunk and cried over his ex in a fast-food drive-through really help his cause if that cause is to convince the reader he's still a powerful being capable of starting the apocalypse again so they can rule with him?
And that's all without even mentioning that, as previously stated, I think the entire point of the book is missed if we're interpreting Bill as having no genuine feelings or attachments. The book ends with Stanford healing from his past by being open about what he went through with his family and accepting their help, while Bill insists he doesn't need anyone and refuses to heal, actively making himself worse in the process. The clear theme imo is that accepting your past and accepting help from people who love you is essential to healing, while denying those things just makes everything worse. If Bill doesn't actually care about his family, his dimension, Stanford, or anything/anyone else, he has no trauma to heal from or regrets to learn from that he's refusing to accept and deal with, and the entire meaning of the book is made moot.
#tbob spoilers#tbob#the book of bill#bill cipher#billford#also it's just dumb bc like. the book did not invent these concepts.#there are clear implications in other sources that he regrets what he did to his dimension and that he genuinely cares about Ford.#anyone remember “saw his own dimension burn/misses home and can't return/says he's happy he's a liar blame the arson for the fire”?#and the “obsessive ex who still has feelings” dynamic he has w Ford is not new to this book it's just expanded on in it#also WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF WRITING A BOOK. IF WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE ANY OF IT AS CANON. THAT'S NOT HOW UNRELIABLE NARRATORS WORK.#this is rly long whoops can u tell how annoyed i am by this take#gravity falls
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blacked out and drew my girl Jecki
#i stayed up all night to make this instead of working on my comms i think im a little insane guys#like fr i can't stop thinking about them help???#star wars#the acolyte#jecki lon#the high republic#my art#also if u can tell i tried to imagine what she'd look like in TCW/TBB style lol
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