#but I can't stop trying to fight it
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#i hate food so fucking much#and I hate that I need to eat#and I hate that I'm like this and I can't live like a normal person#i think i got myself into pretty bad place and i can't get out#because in past few weeks i decided I'm not going to care about calories and working out and eating unhealthy#and now i can't look at myself anymore#and I'm really fighting the urge to eat just once a day#I'm trying to take care about myself but it's hard when I feel so much anger towards myself whenever I eat something#so then I eat and exercise and run until I can't stand on my legs anymore#and I am trying to understand that gaining 2-3kg isn't going to change anything but I feel like a failure#i think i went completely crazy#i really don't know how to hndle this#i lost 20 kg in less than 12 months and I like my body for the first time in my life#for the first time in my life i feel sexy and attractive#and I'm so scared to gain any weight because I don't ever want to be fat again I don't want to how I felt#but now gaining a gram of weight makes me feel like I'm fucking obese again#and it's frustrating because just period by itself makes you gain weight I'm fully aware that bodies are constantly changing#but I can't stop trying to fight it#and I'm fucking tired of this#of constantly counting calories and weighing myself and measuring myself...like I want to stop... I don't want to care anymore#but i can't because then it feels like I'm not in control#i feel like I'm going in a bad direction if I'm not in constant calorie deficit#and I'm scared because I also don't want to hurt my body any more than it already is#I don't know what to do because all doctors are telling me that I'm fine and healthy#I'm sorry for talking about this I'm sure i must sound absolutely stupid#it's just that dinner time is coming and I'm trying to do everything possible so that it comes later#and hilarious thing is that I'll eat salad with tomatoes and cucumber and feel fucking guilty about it until it will keep me awake tonight#i apologse...i am aware how negative i am#i just can't say this to anyone and it feels nice to complain to the void
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so why is Luka obsessed with Hyuna anyway?
(mostly just trying to get my thoughts on Luka down before blink gone rewires my brain)
every pet human is extremely limited in freedom, but Luka's case is definitely the worst literally even his birth was by Heperu's design... he can't control any aspect of his own life, from his participation of ALNST (twice!) to what he eats on a daily basis
*translations all by whatafruit
humans have no power over segyein, and Luka doesn't even have any power over own his own body so what can he have power over, then?
other humans, of course
most obvious in round 5: Luka would've had an easy win even if he barely tried, but he goes out of his way to provoke Mizi anyway until she finally snaps... and he smiles as he's beaten
because this is his "power." he successfully manipulated Mizi into reacting, proving he has some control over the situation no matter how pointless it is in the grand scheme of things, this is all he can influence, so he makes the absolute most of it and this control is so important to him he doesn't care about his own physical injuries
it's Hyuna talking in this comic, but clearly reflecting Luka's own mentality
while for Hyuna it's likely just her love for singing and performing (whatever happens, they can't take this away from her) for Luka I imagine it's the ability to influence others from the stage (crushing his opponents, but also shaping his fanbase?)
...so back to Luka -> Hyuna
itâs mentioned more than a few times that Hyunaâs a really talented performer, but seeing their respective stat pages really drives it in
(think the âsuperiority testâ Hyuna was put through relates to this also)
Hyuna doesn't seem to have been created in any special way like Luka was⌠she just has a natural affinity to performing. and that's enough that sheâs considered a real rival to LukaâLuka, who was literally made for this, and put through constant hellish training on top (the pain of having your heart stopped...) to mold him into the perfect idol
to Luka⌠if he canât dominate Hyuna, he can't even take pride in his own ability (that everything he's forced to go through amounts to something?). and power over other humans is all he has, so he needs to overpower Hyuna (also he likely admires Hyunaâs talents at the same time, which just adds to his twisted feelings)
so since his ability isn't enough... by making someone think of you, only you⌠thatâs another way of having power over someone, isnât it
âyour life is mineâ âI told you I only wanted one thingâ
whatever exactly happened with Hyunwoo⌠well that certainly worked. both removing Hyuna's most important person and making Luka someone she can't not think of (oh and he doesn't seem particularly interested in Hyunwoo despite how similar the siblings are in personality? Hyunwoo was even the first to approach Luka, not Hyuna so it's likely because he doesn't have his sister's talents)
but you know how his intimacy(?) value for her is only 70% I figure that's because she escaped, so they could never actually face off onstage... maybe he's disappointed in her "wasting" her ability
what all this amounts to is that she did end up escaping his control, and he never even got to compete against her. so until he can somehow completely overpower her, he'll be obsessed with her
I wonder if this represents his final effort to that... ultimately, he values control over his own well-being, so if he can goad Hyuna into killing him, then doesn't that cement his power over her?
and maybe "saves" him from this hellish life too
kind of a tangent, but I really like how their designs contrast this dynamic Luka looks really angelic and androgynous, so from appearance he seems fragile and like someone to be protected (which even Hyuna seemed to be tricked by when they were younger) and Hyuna obviously looks the stronger one in comparison (very #girlboss (lol...))
but their relationship is one where Luka's trying to control her and Hyuna's trying to escape it... that "beautiful lady" line of ruler of my heart always felt somewhat uncomfortable, and then learning it's actually pitiful (ę°ë ¨í) instead of beautiful is... ...it's a very gendered dynamic, if you get what I mean. despite their surface-level appearances going against what's considered typical
#feel free to send me asks to argue btw#im being completely serious here i wanna discuss alnst oTL#alien stage#alnst#alnst luka#alnst hyuna#hyuluka#well it's... about their relationship...#im not going to try to make sense of his relationship chart comment bc my only reaction is 'is he stupid'#ndfgkd#but the artbook rly has a lot#i can't think of round 5 without thinking of rgu so that probably influences my view of luka too...#btw you're lucky im stopping myself here and not going into some excessively pointless tangent#about how he compares and contrasts with ivan#i can make posts without talking about ivan i prommy#'but you're talking about him now' tags don't count#if you somehow got all the way down here can u listen to 'do you want to fight me' by venus hum#why mention that on this post specifically? if u listen you'll understand trust me
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i mean. Prowl needing to know what's going on doesn't disqualify him from being the pilot- it just means he gets to know the environment around him. Chuck transformer jazz at earth, featuring pilot Prowl, and problem solved.
Yeah it would work. But I want a space adventure so
#also.#ahahahah#I can't see Prowl as a skilled and cool pilot because. ah. I saw him fighting in canon lol#tfe Prowl goes full possum mode after the first strong hit#idw Prowl is somewhat just okay but still pretty much sucks at fighting#Animated Prowl clames to be a cool professional ninja but in fact he just moves dramatically and then gets beaten anyway. constantly ahahah.#war for cybertron Prowl is just fucking goofy. But at least he knows how to use a gun I guess#No matter how hard I try to imagine Prowl as a cool competent fighter#I can't stop thinking about his canon versions. Which are#yeah no. His ass doesn't know how to fight
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percy repeating that he can be good over and over again to himself while covered in the blood after an overwhelming unleash of volatile rage that destroyed all that threatened his loved ones while grover holds his face and steadily grounds him back to reality
("i'm safe, we're safe, it's safe, just breathe")
#grover underwood#percy jackson#grover looks past the violence because percy takes precedence and percy embraces the violence because grover takes precedence#like do you get it? do you get the sorrows of being an angry person trying so hard to be Good for the people you love and falling short#because you love too much and with your whole heart but your love is rage filled thing that you could never quite quell#(how do you fight a hurricane? how do you stop a tsunami? you can't. there's no outrunning the storm)#your love is a rage-filled thing and your love is strong and you would rather sacrifice yourself on a spit then be buried above their bones#and how fucking dare anyone try to threaten that#and now you are covered in someone else's blood and you are not Good (you never were you never were) and it's all you can do not to scream#(i can be Good i can be Good you say but the words are lies because you are a storm and who has ever looked to a storm as Good)#happy talks pjo
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bro said "WHERE THEM HORSES đ đ¤Ź" with a straight face
#matt was fighting for his life trying to put on that yee haw accent#i can't stop laughing#matt dillon#tex mccormick#tex#tex 1982#dallas winston#the outsiders
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Me, casually browsing Pinterest: oh cute dog, seems familiar *continues browsing before coming to an absolute halt* WAIT FUCKIN MACHETE-??
(I see the beloved gay Catholic hounds everywhere (/pos), though Iâm not sure if youâre like,, cool with those folks reuploading your art ^^; )
As a side note, I needed a topic for a research project and your art has sent me on the wild trail of the historical prevalence and spread of different hound species in Medieval Europe and the Mediterranean. Your lads are officially peer reviewed XD
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#jumpscared by misplaced Machete#hah#no I can't say I love it when my art is reposted on pinterest especially without sources or credit#but there isn't a lot I can do to stop that from happening and trying to get them reported and removed would take all of my time#so it isn't worth it#choose your fights wisely and so on#also that's really cool I'm really flattered my art inspired you to pick that topic! hounds and history and the Mediterranean#I hope you have/had good time!#answered#hircine-scholar
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#art#danganronpa#mondo oowada#kazuichi souda#reposting old art here! beach episode!! i feel like they have something in common that they can talk about#but given their characters...they can either become besties or end up in a fightđ#yabai tomodachi#also it was always so cute to me how souda+mon and miu share the same sanrio character in sanrio collaborationđ#can't stop fantasize about how these two would be constantly trying to diassemble and modify mondo's bike
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first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING FOR A GOOD FIC ABOUT THESE THREE THAT ISN'T JUST SMUT PLEASE!!!!!!!1!!!!#I can'ttt stop thinking about them I don't even have anything coherent to say#even with other partners it's still THEM THREE they're so !!! it's just them. three. always#s7 just ruined me guys I missed them so much#still thinking about xander's stupid quip about how he always brings her back from the dead#if u tell me willow only resurrected her cause they were all insecure without buffy to throw her weight around sunnydale...#they LOVE her. so much. so so so much. they're so selfish but they LOVE her it's why they can't ever let her go they're missing without her#I despise seeing people treat the scoobies with bad-faith bc ik they're not the greatest but oh my god#they are IMPORTANT!!!!! there is no buffy the vampire slayer without willow and xander being WITH buffy#look me in the eyes and tell me tweed boy giles and lurker freak angel were going to be able to keep buffy alive all by themselves.#without xander buffy and willow are left without something firmly human to grip onto when they lose themselves in the supernatural#without willow xander and buffy are left with a gap to properly bridge them. someone to make it easier to understand both sides#without buffy xander and willow have no reason to ever grow and try and learn. to want to be more. to live up to who they can be#plus those two give buffy something tangible to fight for. it's not just the vague âworld" she can't feel the affects for it's wil and xand#I need someone smarter than me to articulate this dumb post bc I can't I've tried so many times and I can't but I FEEL it I feel it#buffy x willow x xander#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#I tried to find their ship name and I'm actually going to KILL everyone. why don't they have one. what is going on.
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I wonder if Flowey ever just... let Clover stay dead for longer than a few seconds after they died in a fight just to see what happens. I mean, he basically is the master of their fate and would probably get bored of seeing them repeat the same three routes over and over and over again. I feel like in between trying to push Clover to fight Asgore, he'd probably find the time to entertain himself watching other characters react to Clover's death to mix things up a bit.
#undertale yellow#he'd be busting out popcorn and treating everyone's psychological breakdown as a dark comedy#oh? starlo succeeded in killing Clover and now that he can see the blood spilling into the sand and suddenly everything isn't some#dumb cowboy roleplay where everyone plays at justice and starlo really for real murdered a child? lmaooooooo#let's watch this grown man break down crying as his best friend has to cope with the fact that he's a child murderer.#or axis kills clover in a pacifist route and Ceroba has to cope with the fact that because she told them to not fight back#they couldn't defend themself properly and now another kid died because of Chujin's creation AND she can't use their soul#for her husband's legacy.#or how about dalv killing clover and he realizes that it wasn't a hallucination. he just fought another human.#or martlet's fight where she wasn't seriously trying to apprehend them but they died anyways and she realizes that#a part of her job entails killing kids.#or the Feisty 4 fight where starlo leaves for 5 minutes and comes back to all his friends having murdered a child#why stop at pacifist/neutral though?#Martlet was reluctant to fight clover the first time in a no mercy run. yeah she stopped a dangerous killer but they could've turned#things around and tried to be better but now they never get the chance to do that.#or Ceroba beats Clover and realizes that she has absolutely nothing left for her. her husband is dead. her daughter is in limbo.#her best friend died in front of her. there is nothing left for her now.#..... actually. flowey. pass me the popcorn too. i wanna sit down and see where things go as well.#i know flowey wouldn't give a damn about all the emotional aspects but I'd more than happily eat that angst up!#uty analysis
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We're going to save your brother.
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#princess peach#mareach#cherrysip edits#I FEEL LIKE THIS MOMENT DID NOT GET THE ATTENTION AND APPRECIATION IT DESERVED ON HERE#man i could write you an essay about this#i do think that the 'i'm not afraid! i'll do anything for my brother' line actually ISN'T said during this scene - it's probably earlier#but that this line IS in the right place (peach's mouth movements match)#which means that scene is going to break me because it just seems like a very vulnerable sweet moment between them#where peach and mario get to talk about the situation they're in and their fears and how big the stakes are for both of them#peach fighting to protect her kingdom and her subjects - the immense pressure on her to stop bowser because of her role as a leader#and mario desperately trying to save his brother - not knowing if luigi is ok or not and not being able to keep him safe is so painful#i think that's why mario doesn't have his hat on - the adventure is starting to weigh on him and he opens up to peach for the first time#about him and luigi and their closeness and how he CAN'T lose his brother he CAN'T let him down when he needs him more than ever#and peach reassures him and it means the world. even in this quick clip there's something a little sad about his face#but also there's relief and gratefulness to her for saying that. they're the absolute sweetest :) :) :)#i could be off base but that really does seem like the vibe of this scene from what we've seen and i am ALL ABOUT IT
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Corey/Kayleen has ocd send tweet. gpi micro fandom back me up on this one
#that's what I'm calling you all now.....#micro fandom sounds so funny to me#like you're all tiny little bugs I'm studying#GIGGLING!!!!!#Anyways yes Ocd Corey/Kayleen is canon to me#fight me#If anyone where to write a whole ass essay on the reblogs or tags.... well..... i can't stop you đ#maybe..... i wouldn't try to stop you..... maybe even kiss you on the mouth..... haha........#gruesome playground injuries#corey gpi#kayleen gpi
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The utter blind hypocrisy of people criticizing Dems for trying to court too far Right while gleefully upholding the Right's obsession with moral purity and making the "right" people suffer.
#where's that 'I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people' pic#and not just when it's convenient for your agenda#like all the time#care about people all the time#start there#and no I'm not saying that holding up dick cheney like 'look we convinced evil papaw to vote dem!' did not make me uncomfortable#but my god you have got to stop acting like the moral high ground is the most important thing to maintain#like my god I want the slaughter in gaza to stop too#but how exactly did you expect to effect that in any way under fucking trump???#It's a hell of a lot easier to help other people when you're not trying to get the boot off your own neck#and yes I know the primary problem is the people that still voted for that orange shitgibbon#even after everything#I am not denying that#but we can't even properly form a united front against them bc a buncha chucklefucks want to maintain their moral superiority#you're picking an opponent to fight not a goddamn savior#stop looking for a fucking savior#us politics#for y'all's blocklists#man i'm so fucking tired
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Augh
#fancy is really struggling#and the babies are lovely and just FASCINATING in how they developed around but not shaped by humans and i so very deeply enjoy them#but they are also a little ungovernable due to their age and general lack of caring about rules and they are bothersome and rowdy#and it is obviously so so hard on her and my heart is breaking because im afraid we wont be able to get her through this#and i will have to give the babies up#and...not have another cat#just one#i would be crushed#and added to all of that is that the babies are taking their time learning to be pets and that is fine and wonderful actually#but...i need surgery on at least one ankle and i won't be able to keep up with them if things haven't sorted themselves out by then#and they haven't become more manageable and fancy hasn't adjusted#so we are asking about meds for poor fancy and hoping that works#but she's really having a hard time guys and i am fighting so hard to cope in a household where i spend most of my time alone#with two animals who don't love me yet or interact with me like pets (i'm a source of three things: food and snuggles on demand and NO STOP#and one who is sad and not herself#and frankly it's terrible that i can't fix this#and i am trying not to lose my shit but this wasn't supposed to be so hard#and im afraid i may lose five cats and not three#and im already barely holding on#i don't know what to do and neither does my boyfriend#i don't want to turn around and have to tell you guys we can't keep the babies#i feel like i am failing at something i am supposed to be GOOD AT#i don't want to be in a house so empty#i can't live like that#having the babies is lovely#they're so alive and the boys were so sick by the end and the stress of the constant anxiety and grief as they faded away was crushing#even before they died#it's been so good to have them running about#i don't want to LOSE that#im so tired of LOSING things
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episode 15 is almost upon us and I'm still and forever will be obsessed with tanfang in episode 12:
how can I move past fang's "you already are" [my safety my comfort my home my hearth] when tan says he wants to be both his family and his safe zone? how can I forget the way my heart cracked into two with the further revelation of fang's fear of being left behind? his "if you disappear I would be in so much pain" is a desperate plea that tanâbeautiful, attentive tanâinstantly responds to because he sees him, he sees him. tan's "look at me, I'm so crazy over you." tan's look at me, I love you with every breath that I take, I love you in the seconds of every single day I love you with every fibre of my existence.
and the way fang smiles, so helplessly, tenderly charmed by this man before him whose unflinching devotion means everything to him. fang, who has always known love with conditionsâof being the perfect son, the responsible brother, the fraying string barely holding his so-called family together. and here is tan, who sweetly, exuberantly, loves him unconditionally, whose "I love you no matter what" holds fang's shadows at bay.
because what do you mean "thank you for loving me" when I was made to hold you to protect you to cherish you to adore you?
#every time I watch this scene I cry okay it means everything to me#i love love love love love them if you can't already tell :')#enjoy this mess of a post that's just an amalgamation of all my tags in gif reblogs because I need to collect my tanfang thoughts together#aouboom needs to stop scaring us with their ep15 speculations :< I'm trying really hard not to believe them#i will fight the screenwriters if they decide to go in the direction of the novel again#will be waxing poetic about tanfang on ao3 soon something is in the works :))#tanfang#we are series#we are the series#jenn.rambles
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saw someone on twitter say "one of the main characters in a loki show should have been thor odinson, not some random Sylvie or Mobius.
...... It's like a written law"
wdyt do you agree
I don't think it was necessary to make Thor a main character in a Loki show, the same way it WOULD be possible to throw together a Thor movie without having Loki be a main focus.
The issue comes in the quality of the narrative itself, and writing that if evidently without intention to care for (whichever) main character's importance will not work out. Neither the Loki series nor Thor 4 cared about the arc, motivations, history, or continuity of the titular characters beyond trying to make the media marketable.
Overall messaging can add a layer to the impact a story will have. Musical score can be a bonus way to control tone or tie a story together. Supporting cast can be vital to tell a good story. Prioritising their presence over anyone's (especially Loki's) characterisation is what the Loki series suffered from, not that other, original-adjacent characters were there.
#i'd say it was tell not show but frankly the plotline was so poorly done i don't think showing would have helped#it would have solidified the side characters better though#if they had put effort into characterising Loki right then poorly done side characters could've been a non-issue#messing up the main characters which are supposed to be part of a continuity is the number 1 issue#not managing the screen-time well was the number 2 issue#too much time wasted setting up characters that were going to monologue about their importance anyway??#too much time spent trying to establish the TVA as something important and controlling but somehow good#so much could have been cut out of the show and still gotten all that across#the relationships people built did so in like 2 days in-universe iirc so i wouldn't call them solid#season 1 was a useless introductory setup for the multiverse that didn't have any impact because there were like 4 other setups#scrap the characterisation and call it a reboot and it still threw Loki out as a weak and completely conventional protagonist#that's not engaging when every other character is also boring overall#even if their concepts weren't boring the way it was done was#The Loki Show#i can't be bothered thinking about the show because there's just so much#where would one start#i don't care enough about it to hate the show but i did find the fight choreography lacking too#the camera angles and general videography wasn't good#i have the same complaints about the choreography with every other disney+ show they put out#not even bothered with the MCU frankly#i'm happy to pretend the movies stopped after phase 2
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i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this
#you all know that i can't stand gatekeeping and how that's why i bring up what i like all the time in various contexts#but the surprising thing with mbf for me is that i can't talk about it as freely to people who don't know me#because i can't find a way to translate it without having to offer some crucial segment of myself#i enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts more than anything else but i don't like sharing me the person behind them#because i really cherish my individuality as something important in spite of where it takes me sometimes#i don't want to tarnish it!!!! i don't want even the smallest piece of it to be missing because i wouldn't know what to do anymore#i'll stick to typing out thoughts here and to my mom and to my med textbooks#but i must say it feels strangely refreshing to have something that is only my own this way because i always have to put myself out there#and this way i am not giving anyone the opportunity to twist it into something terrible about me#my spontaneous outbursts might ruin this for me though#letters from stephanie*#i dislike that i can't step outside of my own experiences with this like i usually do because art should be shared#this is suchhh a crazy person post#i think i finally get what my dad means when we fight about how i shouldn't say everything i think all the time#he doesn't want me to filter myself he wants me to preserve who i am from harm because stepping up sometimes won't help#who i'm trying to help but it will ruin me in some way even if it just makes me upset#i think that's how he manages to be calm without betraying himself?#he isn't lying he's just saying what he thinks when it matters and to those that matter#like most of the time i am right to single myself out but there is a particular shade of grey when i shouldn't do it#idk this is literally donna telling the dr YOU CAN STOP NOW.#realistically i just need someone to calm me down when my passions turn against me#overly personal post once again i am sooo sorryyyy look away
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