#but I am also so embarrassed
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#I really am grateful#but I am also so embarrassed#funny#memes#funny memes#writing#writing memes#funny writing memes#writeblr#writing community#writers of tumblr#writers on tumblr#writer#writers#writing humor
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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#ice ice baby#polls#pls rb i want a good sample size#we can't ALL die of scurvy it's not mathematically possible! someone has to succumb to exposure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also i could have included sooooo many more medical ailments i am being restrained#it could be its own separate poll#anyway so many of these are me and i would love to die of some horrible disease but i would fall into a crevasse#i do not look where i walk and there have been multiple occasions in my life where i have unintentionally climbed into a ravine & got stuck#one of which i had to us tree roots to climb up a rock face and i should have fallen and died#the other option was getting washed away by the tide lmao#and i was too embarrassed to call my boss for help#hi andrea can you send a boat to come get me i'm stuck at the bottom of hole in the wall and can't get back up#greatest (s)hits
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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there's something so incredibly sweet about how many times davrin notes in his journal that talking to rook helped him with something. he keeps bringing them out to touch grass and gaze at nugs out in the woods with him which I think must be very good for them, and their company clearly helps him work through and get more clarity on things he's been stuck on emotionally. it's just kind of lovely and a great little nuance in that relationship.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#davrin#now picture davrin shaking rye by the shoulders (gently lifting him off the ground in the process thanks to the height difference)#and lovingly yelling 'ALLOW ME TO PROTECT AND CARE FOR YOU BACK OR SO HELP ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!!'#and that's basically their late-game dynamic fhsdja#rye spends an embarrassingly long time genuinely believing that davrin thinks he's an idiot. self-worth so abysmal#he cannot pick up on the myriad context clues that this is perhaps Not the case and that davrin in fact trusts him so deeply#it finally clicks literally only in the moment when davrin asks him to help decide the future of the griffons. y'know. we got there#it was kind of embarrassing for everyone involved but the realization did dawn finally lmao#just got to the post weisshaupt talk with him on this playthrough and I am In Agony#also when he says 'make it count I can only die once' and it felt like a knife in the gut! fun times. video games are fun
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Missed drawing these two too
Bonuses
#rendoc#still thinking about them a lot#always#hermitshipping#sorry for the weird empty area in the first one. It was my attempt to make it take up less of people's timelines#this art is so embarrassing lol but man I like when Doc's drawn as a big goat man I have no defense I plead the fifth#or well at least it becomes embarrassing when its. shippy#whatever Tumblr people are usually cool so here goes!!#I am 99% a fluff and hurt/comfort person. Idc how frisky these guys get in fanon all I can ever think of is fluff sorry#Also contemplated implementing Doc's accent into the dialogue but I am forever paranoid of offending someone lol#idk how to write accents etc but you guys will make it sound fine in your heads I'm sure#hermitblr#tubby art
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tail touching 👀
preview for ch. 35 of my fanfic, Of Saints and Sinners!
#my art#radioapple#of saints and sinners#hazbin hotel fanart#duckiedeer#i felt retroactively embarrassed after drawing this 🫣 i don't even know what to say#also i am home now!!! chapter draft is done so i just have to edit it#update this friday ofc
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big fan of your noel and oscar designs!!! also that one panel in the blindfaith art waough,,, now im wondering noels reaction 👁 👁
I was gonna reply to this with “I don’t think I can post that without getting banned” but alas,,, everything after this tho stays in my head sorry
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#ALSO THANK YOU !!!#this one goes out to the Noel enjoyers I see you#John’s freaking out rn btw he’s like ARTHUR I CALL FIRST DIBS HAND HIM OVER#malevolent#malevolent fanart#arthur lester#john malevolent#detective noel#noel malevolent#oscar malevolent#i am embarrassed about having drawn this btw just so we’re clear#don’t really know their ship name so I’m#tagging these four as#arthur lester and his three boyfriends
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inaugural post
#sonadow#sonic x shadow#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sth fanart#these guys are the only thing getting me to draw for the first time in months#but i am also embarrassed and have kinda low self esteem abt my drawings#so they will all go here
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been thinking about how joy and embarrassment might interact......they are so besties. To Me. <3
#i've got lots of other Things cooking but. it's college apps season so im def gonna be slow about it sigh.... u_u#BUT thats okay look at sillies :) i actually am kind of obsessed with them bouncing off one another now LOLLL#also need to. practice drawing emby moreee i don't draw him nearly enough hdkjhgjkds#Also also no i don't. know what joy got so embarrassed about. your guess is as good as mine HFHJKHS#inside out 2#inside out#inside out joy#inside out embarrassment#inside out fandom#sketchbook
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ok but for real now. since tiktok has so throughly disappointed on this trend. who is your strangest hear me out / most bizarre crush? freaks and headscratchers only edition
#please 👁👁 I am so fascinated by this.#also I need to know I'm not the only one with double-take worthy and more-than-a-little-embarrassing taste#hear me out#ask meme#polls#memes#original#blorbos#blorboposting#fictional crush#(they dont have to be characters or even people. skys the limit and not even really because space and aliens and stuff)#monster lover#tag meme#(I've posted about some of mine here before but none of you in a million billion years would guess who the newest one is. its not even that#creative or out there just. head in my hands how did I get here kinda situation)
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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ok everybody block dnp on all socials they have eyes everywhere. they know way too much. those omniscient fuckers are always watching. no one is safe.
like what do you MEAN you know about those stupid “real voice” compilations and people absolutely clowning about jumpcuts and smudged whiskers and what do you MEAN you’re aware of those 2009 phan theories people still debate to this day? what happened to “i don’t check my indirects” “i don’t go on the tags”?? i bet you’re lurking RIGHT NOW reading this very post. all men do is lie. can’t trust anyone 😤😪
#/j#dnp#dan and phil#pinof#phan#gamingmas 2023#yeet my deet#dan howell#daniel howell#amazingphil#phil lester#danisnotonfire#i didn’t participate in the phandom until they came out#i was an older phannie i started watching at age 16#so i knew better#so this feels like i’m being punished for something i didn’t do#and having always been mortified and embarrassed by the shit yall would say back in the day#my only respite was “ok maybe dnp didn’t see this”#no they’ve seen EVERYTHING#you’re past is coming back to haunt you but your past is also coming back to haunt me lmao#to be clear i am part of the problem simply for consuming phan/phandom media at the time and therefore giving those videos views#but i was always terrified of the phandom#like i didn’t even consider myself part of the phandom for my first 4 years as a phannie#i was a closet demon phannie lol#i started participating after they came out and we were all actual adults about it and super respectful#i was like we’re all old and gay now i love this for us#yeet my deenp#bog
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genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.
#this is a pointless text post#my most embarrassing version of this is that whenever it was foggy at the lighthouse i imagined i was emily bronte#or that i was taking a walk in the fog with my good friend emily bronte :^)#so much of this is also tied into the fact that my body hurts all the goddamn time#i am trying to make my pain something i can live with#is this gonna be how i learn that normal people don't daydream about being In The Past#anyway do u guys imagine these sort of scenarios too or am i just a freak#greatest (s)hits
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shoutout to this gross sofa
#jayvik#arcane#jayce x viktor#viktor arcane#jayce talis#OKAY i hate this sketch suddenly it’s not up to my standards hahahah it was meant to be chilll#i am cringe but i am free#i think I don’t like it cause this jayce doesn’t look much like himself imo also I don’t actually draw people kissing often#so it’s always tricky I couldn’t get it right 😔#it was meant to be a chill no reference sketch and took me 5 hours hahaha 2 of them just that dumbass kiss and I gave up 👍#so yeah I feel embarrassed awkward posting bc of that but also need to stop the it has to be perfect to post mindset#okay that’s my rant of the day#hope y’all enjoy this anyways bye#my art#lambiart
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All Might body pillow
#Izuku is embarrassed on behalf of other AM collectors but also he’s a SERIOUS COLLECTOR so he does also need it#but that’s his dad#but I think he’d love a wholesome AM pillow#my mha art#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#all might#toshinori yagi#yagi toshinori#small might#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#Deku#dad might
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