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notallwonder · 2 years ago

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Alright. We are here. At the end(ish). CM 16x10 "Dead End".

Spoilers and whatever my addled brain wants to express under the cut. This may be a long one.

I don't know why this show makes me so happy despite its many deficiencies. tbh I think it's bc I am job hunting and this at least gives me a lil shot of dopamine or seratonin or whatever the fuck. Also Paget Brewster.

The things I want out of this season finale: Prentiss. I hope she gets to smile and smirk and not just be mad/sad/worried. I wanna see some good moments for Luke, though I'm less hopeful on that front. I want to see something good for Tara. What that could be...dunno. As for the rest - I don't think I even care that much? I suspect it will end in some sort of cliffhanger.

Okay, now that I have unwisely embarked on this journey in the wee hours of the night...

I wonder who will get to wear the Brown Jacket this episode?

oh boo the black & white flashbacks are still here...I hate that choice.

it's a pleasure to see Krystall again tho. I always liked her.

laying on the ol' "FBI behavioral analysis heroes stop real monsters" schtick real thick there guys. it's funny of me to get annoyed about this on this, the "FBI are real heroes" show. but I do.

good onya Dave, found the mood lighting. LOL at the oxygen meter. LMAO even MORE at Dave finding the wifi router.

it's still so stupid that Will is there lol

this is the first time I have truly hated Elias Voit. who would rather speak to Bailey when Emily Prentiss is right there on the phone? only a stupid little man apparently. although - Bailey would be way easier to manipulate so maybe not so stupid.

omg incredible forehead moment there. ma'am your eyebrows (what have i become)

love the implication that Dave just recites quotes to himself. kinda tracks

this situation with Bailey makes me go *grimace emoji*

has Bailey been a gold star lesbian this whole time?

t's so stupid that Will gets lines and Luke still gets shafted. I don't hate Will, but...really?

god now JJ says "wheels up"? sorry, hate it

WOW okay. So Gold Star is a secret program of some kind. And now we're talking "legal" and "extralegal" options with the AG. boy. whew. god why did I get attached to this fucking show.

though - AG slaying in that black suit/purple blouse situation.

"they would see through it, the BAU" - because the BAU are the good guys, not involved in (implied unethical?) secret shit? what the ever loving shit is this.

Adam Rodriguez just doing the most with his beautiful face and voice. thank you sir

bummer that I have to watch most of Joe Mantegna's acting from a weird vantage point and on a phone screen on a TV screen.

oh wait now we get a Badass Marine Rossi Montage

absolutely incredible, the bizarre combinations of ads I get when I watch this show. After Rossi's explosive moment, I just got served an ad about a disease that causes curvature of the erection due to scar tissue. what the fuck paramount plus

is it just me or did the audio get weird now that we're back in Emily's office

"politics" there that is again

Ghost of Krystall Past! Welcome to the shitshow! you look fabulous

"we were just getting started" I wish they did this echo thing with lines that actually were interesting

I do love Emily being constantly like "WHAT tHE Frickle FRACKLE" but I worry for her blood pressure. can she ride along. I want her in every scene, not just stuck at the BAU on Chicken Roaster time

Elias please tell your wife you want to wear the Moose dog collar and that's why you saved it. whoops missed opportunity babe

Emily. ma'am. you are beautiful, gorgeous, smokin'. etc.

what are you Bailey, a vampire

I mean...I am intrigued about what the fuck this is all about. they've got me on the hook. can they reel me in?

the implication here is that Voit has knowledge/dirt that they want kept secret. So he's a little bit in kind of a Snowden position?

OH SHIT BAILEY DEAD

WILL BEEN SHOT (saw that one coming, why else would he be there). dont worry he's fine guys. no stakes

YAS Tara. There's that steel. I missed that steel.

JJ and Sydney. Classic mom to mom interview, right?

LOL they're begging Sydney to help them find David Rossi, that annoying old dude that accosted her in the cereal aisle.

in my opinion this episode has a weird denouement energy. like...it didn't feel climactic even in the shootout scene. maybe on rewatch

it's really too bad that me and the CME showrunner(s) have such a disagreement on what parts of this show/world are worth expanding upon. the emotional beats/storyline with Elias and family are fine. They are kind of interesting even. More interesting to me than plenty of the 300 some previous unsubs. but...a simple 2 minutes scene of Emily Prentiss in her own home? I would dine on that for weeks, months, years. it's all about priorities. I get it. I've been thinking about that - about the fact that I have not been watching the same show they've been making. I mean...literally I have. But that's how art works in some sense. someone creates a thing, and I encounter that thing, engage with it. I bring whatever I bring to the encounter, and walk away having had an experience that the original creator *might* have intended in and might not, depending on how you define that. maybe we're ships passing in the night. i'm sure i'm not articulating this very well. it's almost 3 a.m. here.

good news for the Tyler dislikers out there

Rossi now that you're back at the BAU the first thing you better be doing is groveling at Emily Prentiss's feet and apologizing for your behavior sir.

oh, BIG HUG! *heart eyes*

oh my GOD I am just CACKLING WITH LAUGHTER. Emily Prentiss big embrace to Mr. JJ, Will Lamontagne Jr. INCREDIBLE. IN-CRED-IBLE!!!!!!! this kind of comedy is...I don't have words for it. it's like...a teeny tiny version of what I imagine that Supernatural Nov 5 Emotion was like. I witnessed but did not feel that feel. but this might be a related feel.

aw Bailey. you join the dead agents wall. aw Emily - big sigh. sweet sad face. couldn't love you more.

yesssss, I have collected yet another line spoken between JJ and Emily that is not case-related!! (I think I am up to 2? 3?). "your eulogy was beautiful". classic jemily right there!

Prentiss cogs still turning

LOL calling Bailey a "comrade-in-arms" sorry it's just funny that this is supposed to have real emotional weight. I get it that it has weight for the team; but the audience...we barely knew ye Doug Noodle.

not lost on me that we're winding down on the "couples" here. Pen & Luke; Will & JJ; Tara & Emily lol

JJ's line to Will "I have a confession to make...I liked it a lot better when I didn't have to see you in the line of fire." Wow, groundbreaking confession there. I mean...we already know this. Not only is that, like, a very normal sentiment regarding someone you love, but also remember Hit/Run? I do really enjoy JJ insulting her husband. "yeah, well next time don't get shot [idiot]" I like that as part of their dynamic. it feels authentic to JJ in some way. she does that sarcastic thing.

GOD I wanted SO HARD to see Voit's shoes, which I assume were government issued dirty orange Crocs

y'all, so help me, I liked this season. I like that it's given me more raw material to work with, I guess. I LOVE that it gave me silver fox Prentiss. The ham-handedness and bad writing and pacing issues and all of that are clear weaknesses that are also pretty clear carry overs from the original run. No shock or surprise there, and I am (too) forgiving, especially because they have genuinely tried to do something new-ish. Did they succeed? I mean. yeah. Did they succeed *well*? Not really.

As for the ending...they set themselves up for the new season, enough intrigue to get me to keep watching (I would have anyway because i somewhat embarrassingly have ONE priority). It feels like some secret spy shit, which I can only hope means *something* in terms of call backs to Emily's secret spy shit days (it won't since this isn't the Emily Prentiss show, which I will always be sad about).

I cannot bring myself to be mad about various choices like Garcia's characterization, the JJ and Emily situation such as it isn't, even Rebecca. I think the door is still open for Rebecca to be part of the story moving forward. The Garcia character assassination is...well it is jarring and still feels oddly simplistic to me, though I think they are aiming for complexity. I am still waiting on some real consequences / real accountability for her and I'm not sure I'll ever be satisfied in that arena. She admitted in the finale that she fell back into old patterns, and Luke joked that if people didn't do that they'd be out of a job, with the hilarious implication that PG's bad relationship habits are comparable to...serial killer shit. Adam Rodriguez stays giving a really enjoyable performance as a man who loves this woman honestly more than seems wise - he is getting his heart stepped on but won't abandon her. And I don't know that he's necessarily pining, so much as he is committed to being her friend despite her carelessness. I am mad that Luke didn't get much of anything of his own this season.

I hope the folks creating CME take some time to do a critical post-mortem. I hope they're not just patting themselves on the back. I generally appreciate what they're trying to do, but I want them to figure out how to do it better.

#criminal minds evolution #criminal minds evolution spoilers #criminal minds spoilers #cm spoilers #cme spoilers #criminal minds

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pyropikmin500 · 2 years ago

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Time for some incorrect quotes!

Liz: What are you in the mood for?

King K. Rool: World domination.

Liz: That's a bit ambitious.

King K. Rool: You are my world.

Liz: Aww...

King K. Rool:

Liz:

King K. Rool:

Liz: OH.

Liz: My hands are cold.

King K. Rool: Here, let me hold them.

Liz: My lips are cold too.

King K. Rool: *covers Liz's mouth with their hand*

Liz: *Answers phone.* Hello?

King K. Rool: It's King K. Rool.

Liz: What did they do this time?

King K. Rool: No, it's me, Liz. It's actually me.

Liz: What did you do this time?

Liz: How the hell are you still alive?

King K. Rool: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

King K. Rool: What's this?

Liz, hugging King K. Rool: Affection!

King K. Rool: Disgusting.

King K. Rool: ...Do it again.

Liz, throwing their head into King K. Rool's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

King K. Rool, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

King K. Rool: Liz, you love me, right?

Liz: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Liz, jumping out of King K. Rool's closet: BOO!

King K. Rool:

Liz:

King K. Rool:

Liz: *makes a sad face*

King K. Rool: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!

King K. Rool: Well, Liz and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

King K. Rool: That's right... We kissed!

Liz: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

King K. Rool: Yes.

Liz: I love you.

King K. Rool: It back.

*Later*

General Klump: Why is Liz crying face-down on the floor?

General Klump: King K. Rool won’t wake up, what do I do?

Liz: Did you try kicking them?

General Klump: Yes.

Liz: I’m out of ideas.

General Klump: I lost Liz.

King K. Rool: How did you LOSE Liz?!

General Klump: To be fair, they are very small.

General Klump: Hey, King K. Rool? Can I get some dating advice?

King K. Rool: Just because I'm with Liz doesn't mean I know how I did it.

General Klump: Liz, I know you love King K. Rool. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

General Klump: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

General Klump, Krusha & Liz: *screaming*

King K. Rool: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Liz?!

General Klump: Wait, why are you asking Liz that when Krusha and I are also here?

King K. Rool: Because Liz wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

Krusha & General Klump in the back of King K. Rool's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!

Liz: We have food at home.

King K. Rool: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*

Krusha & General Klump: YAYYYYYY!

King K. Rool: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

Liz: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

King K. Rool: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

General Klump: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Krusha: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

Krusha: *about King K. Rool and Liz* They make a cute couple, huh?

General Klump: They certainly are standing next to each other.

*at an awards show*

Krusha: Can I carry you on my back like General Klump did?

Liz: I don't think King K. Rool would like that.

Krusha: *pouts*

*Later*

Krusha: *carrying Liz on their back*

King K. Rool: What the hell??

Liz: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

King K. Rool, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Krusha: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Liz, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

King K. Rool, spraying Krusha: You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Krusha: Dude, I forgot-

King K. Rool: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

General Klump: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

King K. Rool: What’s up with Krusha? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Liz: They're just a little overwhelmed.

King K. Rool: Why?

Liz: General Klump smiled at them.

Donkey Kong: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Liz: I really care about your feelings!

King K. Rool: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Donkey Kong, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Krusha: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

General Klump: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

General Klump: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Krusha and I are dating.

Krusha, Liz, Donkey Kong, and King K. Rool: *gasp*

General Klump: Krusha, why are you surprised?

#king k. rool #incorrect quotes #general klump #krusha #donkey kong #oc #donkey kong country

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sleepysigh · 2 years ago

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This is long but most of my followers are bots, and Charlie, if you've stuck with me for 12 years I think one more aimless ramble isn't going to be the undoing of that. I never forget you, by the way.

When I was little, my mom would read to me, help me organize my Pokémon cards, join me for coloring time, and work I the garden while I played outside.

If anyone asked me what I wanted to do for fun at those ages, I wanted to read, build with my k'nex, color a new poster, or go outside with my friends and play pretend fantasy adventures with sticks.

My grandmother watched me often in the summers, and is a great animal and plant lover. We would feed the goldfish and minnows, clear brush, tend the veggie patch, feed the chickens... etc etc. she showed me where rain frogs liked to hide (daylilies, wind chimes) and how to find worms and roly-polies.

Naturally I spent my time at her house bug-catching, harassing frogs by putting them in a jar I found until an adult made me release them, relocating snails from garden plants to weeds so my grandmother wouldn't notice and kill them, playing with monarch caterpillars from milkweed plants, and generally wandering around looking for cool stuff like mushrooms and pretty rocks.

I had a rock collection, a button collection, a marble collection, k'nex, bionicles, a tool set, a magnifying glass, a rock tumbler, a trowel, a small pick-style hand tool for digging, little jars for stashing my finds, mountains of books about the natural world, archaeology, fantasy, history, access to a variety of small family pets as well as cats/dogs, coloring books and markers/crayons/colored pencils, journals, and of course, no tablet or phone.

When I got older, I didn't need to stay with my grandmother over the summers, and I didn't need supervision to do my hobbies. I had my own creative ideas, so I didn't need encouragement by an adult at the table to get started. I began to understand as I got older that my mom was a "single mother" and single mothers are very tired most of the time, so I was happy to let her take afternoon naps instead of doing activities with me because I loved her. But, my friends didn't like most of those activities, and I was tired more often too as school became more demanding and my social skills defects became more painful around my peers.

So I went out less, and instead began exploring media. I watched Jackie chan adventures and yugioh and fighting foodons, but I also found an actor I liked and watched their entire filmography. When I got interested in Ken Branagh, I began reading Shakespeare to enjoy his films better. I was still curious about the world, still unsure what was beautiful and what was ugly.

My mother would tease and chide me for being online so much, but I became obsessed with it nonetheless as an escape. I didn't realize it and couldn't have articulated it at the time, but I had lost some of my innocence, and the activities I used to enjoy made me just a little sad now. I was 12 and the people I relied on to make me feel worthy simply by taking an interest had begun expressing that interest almost entirely through criticism and intimidating expectations.

In the grownup world, grandmothers shouldn't get surprised by kids jumping into the kitchen and shouting boo in the mornings. They could die from that. In the grownup world, your mom is tired and she has this Boss who is awful to her even though she is the best person you know and that isn't fair and every day she's sad is a day she could have been happy but didn't get to, and she only gets so many days to be alive, and then you'll never see her again no matter how much you need to and it hurts so much knowing how much it will hurt but there isn't anything you or anyone can do about it.

In the grownup world, you aren't interesting just because you're interested in something, at least at that time. There is a lovely culture developing to combat this, these days. And in the grownup world, people use computers to do stuff you never dreamed of, and all the art anyone ever made, the history records so far, and the newest studies, and the entire world of lively philosophical debate is on yours.

Grownups don't harass frogs and caterpillars for fun. They don't fill their home with random rocks or run a noisy rock tumbler that keeps their mom from napping. They don't color. (At the time.) They research and debate, they make Real Art (folk art was beyond me, it was either Monet and Shakespeare or it was dumb and bad.) Grownups are serious and thoughtful and stressed and sad and put on a brave face so no one else has to feel bad even though it makes them feel so unbearably lonely, right?

So I became screen-obsessed, and still an, though I have rediscovered the joy of being in the natural world as an adult, and I go looking for frogs and roly-polies from time to time.

I had and entirely screen-free early childhood and still spent my teens glued to a phone or laptop. I only read books because for a long time I had a flip phone. I consumed massive amounts of media and was in a bunch of fandoms. As soon as I got home I was on the computer until I passed out. This pattern continued into my early twenties, when I suddenly noticed I was fucking lonely and made some IRL friends.

Those friends moved or fell out with me or what-have-you, and I ended up sucked into the net again for a while. Made new friends, rinse, repeat. Started dating someone and going out, but when we moved in together it was more stressful and I withdrew to the net...

All of this is to say it's not unique to kids. It's not all bad parents. It's not kids who aren't curious about the world. It's not the addictive algorithms, which I think on their own would not be able to hook most people.

It's having a teacher, a friend, a pastor, a partner, a colleague. It's being asked what animals you found today and being told what traits are unique and special about them. It's someone putting your art on the fridge and pointing it out when company comes over.

It's a kid two years younger than you coming to you crying because she found tadpoles in a puddle that will dry up soon, so you have to pour out your water bottle and rush off to help her rescue them. It's she way she follows you from a distance the rest of the afternoon, not knowing how to talk to you but wanting to so badly it pulls her along like a rope. It's the face she makes when you ask if she wants to learn how to play four-square and when you let her win.

It's a chemistry teacher who has a wardrobe full of tie-dye labcoats and an open-door policy during lunch for kids who don't want to get bullied.

It's meeting a trans person for the first time and suddenly realizing that *you* are an unexplored field full of undiscovered artifacts and wonders.

It's community. It's other people taking an interest in you, leaning on each other's patience a little in order to have a helper for our daily adventures. It's the emotions and needs of others that spur us to act, to embody our beliefs and express our views in a way that inherently conflicts with escapism.

Being invited along to the park or the mall. Talking about who you might want to grow up to be and seeing others who know you, who have been paying attention, the body language, the micro expressions, the responses of approval, disapproval, curiosity, concern, encouragement...

The net is the moon and community is the sun. The net shines a little, but not enough to make out all of the colors and fine details around you. The moon's craters show us its history, and the net is a great resource for history and established knowledge. But the moon does not nurture, it only pulls.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a naive Disney prince here. Community can easily destroy you. I was bullied terribly as a child. I fixated on my worst bullies and tore myself apart trying to understand why they hated me.

Don't look directly at the sun, don't spent too much time out in it, and protect yourself before you do. But without it, you might get tired, depressed, myopic. You forget there are so many colors and fine details of you live in the dark.

On a long enough timeline, your body forgets the use it had for eyes and stops using them at all to spare you the confusion.

Screen addiction, net addiction, whatever you call it, is not simple or generational. It is a symptom of a failure of community. We couldn't have expected it, but we can understand.

Mothers used to give the baby a little whiskey in the milk bottle at night for sleep. Now there's coco melon. Adults used to have more free time to teach and play. A single mother could keep her child's toychest stocked with a variety of learning toys and tools to enjoy the outside world.

There once were several billions more monarch caterpillars, rain frogs, roly-polies, snails, and minnows in our world, just waiting to be gently harassed by curious little hands. Or living out entire blessedly unmolested lives just by chance.

Rats in a cage will consume addictive and enjoyable drugs until they overdose and die.

Rats in a scientifically constructed optimal rat city with a surplus of food, toys, places to hide and explore, and mates will try substances rarely enough that their health is not impacted significantly.

Unfortunately, if you want to pin the blame for screen addiction somewhere, it's because we are out of community with our world and ourselves. It's because knowing who you want to be is painful when no one cares.

It's because the sun hasn't come up in a long time, and when it does, you forget sunscreen because you broke the habit, and you end up craving the cold dead moon because it cannot help you but it probably won't hurt either.

It doesn't feel like you're losing your sight. It feels like the world lost its color and you're lucky to see anything at all. You strain your eyes even harder to navigate it at all.It's the feeling of sadness remembering the light.

We all feel it to some extent. Millennials crave nostalgia media. They color to soothe their anxiety. They struggle to let go of JK Rowling's work despite its mediocrity and her abhorrent actions.

Because that stuff came before we started understanding the lessons of the 2000's, when suddenly the world sharpened into focus and we saw it was fracturing, and our parents were being pulled apart trying to keep it together, and the grownups were sending our older brothers and cousins to war to kill real people and die for real, forever, and every day we were angry or confused or sad or grieving was a day we could have been happy but weren't allowed to be, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Community became less about locale, less centered on the mundane decisions at the town hall meetings about potholes and property lines and the 4-H Club's Spring Fundraiser, and more about performing, demonstrating our fundamental insecurity and fear as individuals unmoored from our social structure.

People get online when they're busy or tired or broke and it's prohibitive trying to do anything else, and being online is ALWAYS a form of being totally alone and in your head even when it creates a really, really convincing facsimile of community.

Why else would we all have gotten so far apart, stridently announcing by rigid sets of increasingly tribalistic behaviors and beliefs who is worthy and who is important and who has to grovel at the lunch table to even be allowed to sit and eat with us -- what happened to stone soup?

Continued under the cut.

It's not like all people in all communities got along historically, of course, but people who were othered by the hegemonic mainstream still had thriving community in each other. Now they can reach everyone like them instantly, and... What a mixed bag.

The net has saved lives, countless lives, through the watered-down form of contactless, inhuman community it offers, even as inherently solipsistic and self-defeating and hijacked by ad-riddled algorithms as it is.

"Fed is best," after all when the alternative is starving. I met trans people online years before I met any in person, and without tumblr and the faceless, unremembered remnants of snippets of their thoughts that I happened to read, I would never have accepted my own relationship with gender.

But so often instead of a panacea, this just-barely-enough-nutrients to live kind of diet is an escapist placebo that makes us weak, confused, frightened because we feel we're doing everything right, we're filling ourselves up and filling our time up and ingesting a hell of a lot but we're *still fucking starving*.

Zoomers are a gaslit generation. Millenials at least can remember how things accelerated like a fighter jet flying full-tilt straight into the cliff face. We're still mangled and on fire in the wreckage but at least we know human bodies are supposed to be intact and breathing and dressed for work or school or church, not twisted and broken in parachute cords with their bloodied faces hidden under half-shattered helmets.

Zoomers were born into a world of screaming and told its normal to have to make your throat raw before anyone can even hear what you're trying to say.

Mothers who took thalidomide didn't know any better than mothers who put the kindle in their toddler's hands and let it auto play until the poisoned stream of profitable Elsa Spider-Man Arrested Bat Man Dies meaninglessness did it's number on their neurochemistry and left no one bringing up the rear while the numberless hellbenders and cicadas and whales slowly got converted into grave dirt for the sake of helping someone score higher in nightmare-mode real-life cookie clicker.

Blaming the parents for what has been done to us all is like blaming them for the time we invented agriculture and suddenly our fossilized skeletons had fewer recognizable teeth from all the sugar, or for how we invented a machine to get food to hungry people faster using just heated water and now you can hardly see the stars anywhere near human settlements, or for the way we made it easier to package and preserve food using gunk we found underground and now every organism with more than one cell is basically carting around a load of endocrine-disrupting microscopic Orbeez in whatever they have that passes for tissues and a circulatory system.

The phenomenon of humanity writ large bent something the wrong way and warped it until it was unrecognizable. Again. Whether someone trying to raise kids in the middle of the ensuing slow-motion inferno managed to keep them on one side of it or the other isn't really the point if there's no one coming with any fucking water, is it?

Forget blame. Blame, guilt, embarrassment, discouragement, hatred, rejection.

Every single barb you or anyone ever felt proud of saying to someone who "deserved it" is now a rock in everyone's pocket at the bottom of the Thames (or whatever populated river you know best), and even if we can scramble back up the banks we're liable to collectively be infected with god knows what social parasite or disease that's been thriving down here --in a place that once gave us life and helped us raise up a city that gave thanks in the form of unrestrained annihilation of all natural hospitality from every cubic inch of the water and soil and air and haplessly benighted creatures within its range.

Try to point fingers from inside a coffin and all you accomplish is a couple broken bones and more pain screaming through you while you try to claw your way to anywhere you can survive.

We belled the dead once when bells were all made by hand and it meant someone sleeping next to a graveyard every night, on the tiny, almost nonexistent chance that one person, no matter how guilty or shameful or unloved, might be allowed to suffer -- might be failed by us, all of us, every person who did not pay attention and did not bother to do the only thing that ever allowed us to thrive on this earth and keep the ancestral hearth warm in the first place.

It's work. It's boring. It's tiring. People get hurt doing it, people die doing it. It doesn't fix everything inside you. There is no guarantee anything ever can. But to have compassion, to lay down the need for blame and superiority, to drag the broom bristles across the line in the sand, to hold out your hand as bruised and calloused as it is, and to take whatever hand is within reach as rough and panic-pained as the grip may be, is the only way any of us are ever going to make our way through this bitter, lonely, only-seemingly-endless night.

If you care about my advice it's this: out the sources of division on sight. Eliminate pettiness and retribution. Take your neighbors some brownies or invite them to your kid's recital. Don't try to feel love you don't feel, just make meaningless human suffering your enemy.

If you try for a while you realize your body already knows, your feet can point the way, your hands come up before you see the next rung, a mongoose doesn't think about a cobra for a second, it just acts by its nature and eliminates the threat.

Every base-pair in your DNA is a single bit comprising the algorithm that replaced the misery of wordless violence with song, made sex feel better when we can choose if we have it, invented caramelized onions and beer and taught us not just to crave them because cooked and fermented is safer than raw, but to delight in them both and invent endless alternatives to please endless tastes.

You and everyone you know are built to tessellated in an infinitely adapting phenomenon stretching back to the first chemical reactions in the ocean floor when a confluence of particles made the brutal decision to comprehend annihilation as a price worth paying if it bought a chance to know mercy, to find peace in forgiveness, to temper the burning and frozen extremes of stars and voids with the honor and privilege of being in the presence of love.

Every person you will ever know is the product of infinity expanding as fast as it can for billions of years and somehow, almost impossibly, by astronomical chance you have the privilege to spend a fragment of your faster-than-a-blink time existing doing something no atom or nebula or rock or star can do. You get the chance to know them. You get the chance to open your arms and ease the howling loneliness and feel the real warmth and weight of what someone's been carrying for too, too long. For a while you can be where they put it down.

You get the chance to be brave, to be strong, to be safe for someone who cannot expect safety, to be kind to someone in need of kindness. Many creatures have hands but yours can build a fire against the cold -- and when you are lost and cold, if you are willing to reach out dauntlessly in the dark, eventually your hands will find others to lead you back home.

Every atom since the Big Bang is a link in a chain that remained unbroken for billions of years so every single human being could have a *chance* to feel a little warmth before entropy stops the clock forever. Don't insult the sacredness of that with pettiness.

Who gives a damn about placing blame or guilt when every choice anyone makes is condemned to never be undone, when the time spent bitching and punishing and rejecting others is gone just as irretrievably as time spent easing their pain and allowing them to soothe your own. Addiction to anything is at least kinder than causing the isolation it attempts to soothe.

The plane is going down. Who gives a shit if the person next to you let their kid watch YouTube in kindergarten? Given the choice, why would anyone not embrace them, why refuse to hold their hand? What does anyone stand to gain spending their final moments being the reason someone else dies ashamed, hurting, alone, feeling guilt for their own children instead of joy that they will be okay?

Our hearts aren't made to bear ostracism. You can't take solace in inflicting it, not really, no matter what you tell yourself. No matter what people on the net say about how people on the net ought to let newer people onto the net, everyone is going to eventually go away from us forever and they are going to spend an awful lot of time miserable because of things they can't control because the shame they're forced to feel for it diverts them to escapism for relief by convincing them community does not need them and offers them no comforting embrace

And frankly I don't see the justification in doing that kind of meaningless harm to anyone because superiority is just another escapist lie, and at least most permissive parents have the defense of ignorance.

There is no generation to blame. There is no generation without hope. There is no generation excluded from the promises of history, for all the peace and the disquiet it offers. Every moment spent deciding who is bad, who is shameful, who to punish, spits in the face of humanity when it could have been spent deciding how to help.

Someone you know is having a bad day today when they could be having a happy one, and they only get so many days, but there is probably something you can do about it. Even if it's just showing up when you don't know what to do or what to say.

Humans find all kinds of hidey-holes to try and avoid showing up and not knowing what to do because they have been taught to venerate shame and be silenced by ostracism.

Everyone who suffers without escape has it in them to get caught in the Net, and everyone has it in them to help someone get free. It's not the kids. It's not even really the Net. It's every moment a hand reached out in the dark and met empty air. It's every hand that could have caught them if it wasn't busy being curled into a fist.

It's just the kind of thing people do when everything becomes too ugly to look at, too painful to feel, too wrong to withstand, and there's nothing they can do.

im so done with seeing articles about kids and screen time that doesnt mention parent behaviors even once. “kids are always on their phones” so are the parents! which the kids look to for how they should behave! ipad babies didn’t chose to only play on their ipads, thats what their parents gave them!

an anecdotal example: when i was a kid, all my parents would do in their minimal free time was watch tv and then they would be surprised when in my sister and i’s minimal free time we would also only watch tv/play video games. they scolded us for not reading books, but they never read books. they scolded us for not going outside but they never went outside.

“kids are always on their damn phones” my mom is in her 60s and opens up candy crush anytime she’s sitting — it isnt just the kids

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cosmickyeom · 2 years ago

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💌: what songs remind you of each member? c:

as i had 10/13 members answered for, i realized that this could've been asking for me to select from SEVENTEEN's discography and i just made things 10000% harder for myself. either way, please do share the songs that remind you of the members, i'm always looking to update my playlists! thanks for the question, 💌 bubsie!

seungcheol (i'm crying my eyeballs out so any typo you see is because of my obstructed vision): baekhyun's every second! the lyrics just have me feeling some kind of way. i absolutely have too many soft feelings for our strong, capable, and reliable leader. also war with heaven by keshi for reasons i will indulge in another day. jeonghan: beenzino's aquaman! this song gave birth to yoonzino and this video lives in my head rent free. to see seventeen hyping him up is so wholesome and IT FEEDS INTO MY HEART, YOU KNOW? i also think about seventeen's mixtape because of jeonghan chicken for caratland (hehe)! joshua: in the theme of old school love songs not by m5, savage garden's truly madly deeply is cute as HECK. for something more upbeat, lauv's tattoos together. for something humorous but iconic, L.A. boyz from victorious! junhui: i honestly feel like everyone's been whiplashed by jun during the world tour. MANS WAS SERVING. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. UGH. anyways, ariana grande's dangerous woman soonyoung: you were beautiful by day6 for our fanboy! in terms of a song that has the power to get you MOVING, chris brown's fine china. i just enjoy the beat and it's something i know would end me if he performed it. and it brings me back to when he danced to privacy! wonwoo: most songs by IU make me think of wonwoo. i'll give a special mention to through the night. in terms of vibes, fijiblue's butterflies also reminds me of wonwoo. the lyrics are sad, but the song itself sounds quite upbeat. it's complex. jihoon: i constantly wonder if jihoon had gone through 1000 heartbreaks. like, sir? are we OKAY? anyways, please give irresistible by 1D and i'm not the only one by sam smith a listen as you're staring out your window as it's raining outside. dokyeom: pulling two from harry styles' discography! late night talking and treat people with kindness. dokyeom is my emotional support human! these songs make me happy, he makes me infinitely more so! mingyu: harry style's golden is the one for our golden retriever boy, the boy with the MOST BEAUTIFUL SKIN THAT KEEPS GETTING WHITE WASHED? JAIL. also, because of his buzzfeed interview, lauv and troye sivan's i'm so tired. we moved on from his gray hair too fast. minghao: specifically, the live version of bandaids by keshi. it's the vibe. it's artsy. it's soft. it's relaxing. it's a weirdly cozy song to just kinda relax your brain to? hansol: i feel bad for giving the excuse of the vibes, but... there's no other way to put it!!! big wild's afterglow and danrell and småland's hostage (ghost edit)!!! seungkwan: HEHEHEHEH. olivia rodrigo's good 4 u. seungkwan is just highkey petty and i think he definitely has the vocal range to kill this song i know that wasn't the assignment but i stand by it . on a more serious note, i also think of kelly clarkson's stronger. boo deserves all the credit for working so hecking hard to be on shows, to get svt on shows, etc. WE LOVE BOO SEUNGKWAN IN THIS HOUSE. chan: ARIANA GRANDE'S POSITIONS BECAUSE WE NEVER GOT A FORMAL DANCE VIDEO FOR IT.

#idk how to tag this #kiras inbox #💌 bubsie #anon #uh #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #junhui #wonwoo #jihoon #soonyoung #seokmin #minghao #mingyu #seungkwan #hansol #: D #kira's musings

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rodeoxqueen · 4 years ago

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Can you do more head cannons of The DMC boys taking care of their baby girl???

Howdy,

I do not think I’ve written headcanons of Dante, Vergil, Nero, and V with a baby daughter? Well, no time like the present.

Enjoy,

Rodeo

Dante

“Baby. Baby girl. Baaaaaby!” Dante calls as his daughter, white-haired and arms covered in baby fat, gurgles with joy.

Literally the love of his life. The babe looks just like him, with white hair and blue eyes.

Lady and Trish adore the baby girl and do not trust him to dress their niece cutely. So they spend all his money buying the cutest little shoes and dresses. The baby fever is so bad for them.

Dante is so protective of his little demon child. He duct tapes all the sharp corners in his shop. It’s Hello-Kitty and red duct tape. It’s such an eye-sore but he’s so proud of himself.

He doesn’t use her crib. Every night, his daughter cries when he puts her in the crib. He ends up taking her to his bed, her little body resting on his chest, moving to the rising and falling of his form.

They eat meals together, both covered in bits of food. Messy eaters, the two of them. Dante always seems to eat incredibly leaned back and his daughter copies him, leaning to the back of the baby seat with her little feet crossed.

She loves sundaes and slaps the table when she can’t get any. Dante can’t resist giving her the strawberries to gnaw on.

“Shithead! You’re going to give her cavities!”

“Nero, she doesn’t even have teeth yet.”

Sometimes they just nod at each other.

“Hey, boss lady.”

“Dah.”

“Very nice.”

He gets a tactical baby carrier, much to everyone’s disgust.

His little baby girl is often found latched onto his leg, cooing and refusing to leave from her father’s proximity.

Vergil tries to hold her and she cries immediately. It’s because Vergil looks like a very serious Dante and that doesn’t sit right with her.

The twins tried dressing the same and brushing their hair the same style to see what she would do. She keeps pointing to the other and saying “da-da” and grabbing at the other twin. Eventually, she starts fussing.

Well actually, demon children can detect parental pheromones. She likely figures out who is who very soon and will not unlatch from her demon daddy.

“She’s got quite a grip,” Vergil comments as blood soaks into Dante’s shirt where her hands clung to him.

“Her claws came in early.” His brother grunts. His hands aren’t even on her, she is completely supporting herself with her little devil hands.

Dante will walk out of the house with his hair done like his child’s. The last thing a demon sees is the merciless face of Hello Kitty on a barrette on Dante’s head. It’s quite frankly scarier than anything else.

See Exhibit C-(credited to @aztarion)

Vergil

“This is my daughter. If anything happens to her, I will kill Dante and everyone else in this room and then I will kill Dante again.”

“Vergil what.”

This man does not use babytalk. He talks to her in complete sentences with words Dante doesn’t even know, his child babbling in return.

“Child, I grow quite jaded by this tirade. Either participate in nap time or stay put, I shall not heed your intentions to stay up.”

“Abababa!”

“I will not tolerate your churlishness.”

He does his best to dress her in blue. They match all the time.

He isn’t great with doing hair that isn’t his. His daughter has all her hair swept back like her old man. She copies him, slapping her forehead and swiping her stray strands of hair back. He smirks at her likeness.

Vergil had to be taught how to change a diaper by Nero.

No baby carrier, he will hold her to his waist at all times and she chews on the handle of the Yamato. He just lets her.

He doesn’t buy her toys, everyone else does.

“Child, you must stop collecting tributary from your relatives.”

“Bababababa.”

Vergil does not trust those two women with his child. However, he finds his daughter points to Trish and makes grabbing motions. Trish coos at her in her slender arms and laughs when she chews her hair, his daughter gripping Lady’s finger in her other hand. Vergil stops, and realizes-

This is the closest he will ever see his mother hold his child. He finds he does not mind it.

Vergil’s daughter is protected by his doppelganger, who moves stuff out of her crawling path and ensures she doesn’t bump her little head.

He also does not use the crib. But he tried. His baby daughter cried and reached for him, her little face scrunched up with sadness.

“It is for your own good. You must be independent. The world is a hard place, sleeping alone is the least you can do.”

The baby continues to cry and Vergil relents, eyes soft as he takes her back. He holds her the entire night.

“Perhaps just this once, my little lamb.”

All grown up, his daughter will find her baby photos in a neat scrapbook, all images were taken by Dante of Vergil holding her every night.

Nero

Youngest dad here, quite frankly the most competent.

He grew up taking care of other kids, no matter how punk rock he is, his instincts to take care of kids shine through.

She has a black pacifier that’s shaped like a skull.

He is so clingy to this little girl, knowing how he grew up with no parents.

His little girl is always with him. If not, she’s with Kyrie. She has to be convinced to go play with other children.

“Hey, can an uncle hold his niece-”

“Frick off, I’m her dad.”

“Censoring yourself, are we?”

He gives up swearing near her. That swear jar paid for a new school building next to the orphanage.

Nero melts when his little girl scratches her nose the way he always does. Some things are just genetic.

His little girl has his temper. She kicks and screams and slaps him when he doesn’t give her what she wants, although she is an angel in general.

His kid is the first one to fully trigger, a very angry and blue one-year-old with horns and astral wings, literally bursting with demonic energy and snarling. Nero sheds a tear in pride after she slashes the side of his face. A bag of frozen peas in hand, he looks at her with joy.

“She’s going to be so kick-butt. Just like me, huh?”

His daughter is tolerant of her grandfather. In the arms of Vergil, she glares back at him.

“She will be a very strong Sparda,” Vergil comments as she rips a button off his jacket.

Nero is so soft with this baby girl. He’ll scream at Dante and his father seven ways till Sunday but coo in baby talk with her.

He sings her to bed the classics.

“But I’m a creep, I am a weirdo. I don’t belong here…..” Nero rocks his daughter side to side as she softly breathes.

“N-Nero?” Kyrie asks from the doorway. He casts her a glance.

“It’s Radiohead.” He says before returning to his loving mumbles. Kyrie sighs.

“Oh my darling. Look at you, little star.” He beams as he taps her little nose. Her hair is white just like his when Nightmare is unbound.

He adores her, this little crawling bundle of joy.

Cane in one hand, he holds his child in the other.

“Wow V, human babies sure are squishy looking gremlins.”

“Griffon-”

“In a good way!”

The two other familiars are also dedicated to his daughter. Shadow likes to clean her with her tongue, causing her hair to stick up in all directions.

Griffon collects things that are shiny and gifts them to her little fat baby hands.

Unfortunately, babies are very grabby little people. Griffon caused a power outage one time because the little starling pulled his tail feathers out in curiosity.

Of course, V reads to his child his poetry. It’s the only way she can be put to sleep.

She fusses and V simply holds her up and asks her what the matter is. She babbles and squirms and V does his best to understand baby talk.

He lets people hold her, although he is nearly inches away to retrieve her in case she is displeased.

Dante is the favorite uncle and she loves to play peek-a-boo with him.

V nearly keels over one day when she managed to absorb Shadow, soft baby skin decorated by black spider lilies. She returns Shadow in the form of a kitten although the big cat quickly turns back into a grown panther.

She tried it with Griffon. Yes, of course he pops out again a swearing baby chicken.

“My dear, what on earth?”

“Da-da!”

She pulls on V’s hair, threading her fingers through the midnight strands. She also puts her hand on his gently-sloping nose. He doesn’t mind it, although her fingers can be sticky.

He keeps a little bell on his cane to waggle over her head when she is bored. She loves it and reaches her little hands to the sound. She likes to take his rings and clink them together.

Sometimes, he gives up and just eats the same baby food she does.

He’s a very patient father, although she can easily exhaust him with all the demands.

“The queen reigns over all.” V muses as she throws a tantrum.

He has a day-to-day journal of her development, full of pressed flowers and inked poetry of his Little Wanderer.

#devil may cry #vergil sparda #dante sparda #devil may cry imagines #dante headcanons #dmc imagines #dmc v headcanons #dmc5 v headcanons #vergil headcanons #daddy Dante #dadgil #dad Nero #daddy V #parenting headcanons #request #daughter headcanons

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necronatural · 3 years ago

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gintama for the ask meme? <3

blorbo: gin is everyone's blorbo from shows.

scrunkly: i want to rub my knuckles into kamui's head. i think gintama is synthesized exactly to not contain cuteness aggression but he gives me "dawww you knucklehead" compulsions

scrimblo bimblo: hasegawa [EVERYONE BOOS] and kurokono tasuke [BOOING BECOMES CONFUSED AND UNSURE]

glup shitto: kurokono tasuke [booing becomes more confident] listen the concept of J4's quiet friend that always hangs out with them but fades into the background and whom they eventually just forgot because he contributes nothing to the group dynamic and isn't a good fighter and is the shittiest guy in his squad and had to just fucking LEAVE because he meant nothing to the war effort but he still helps his old battle friends. and then takasugi who is the most conscious of the people who he's leaving behind in his death march to the end of the world seems to be the only one who remembered him to the point that takasugi's underlings in the very least know his name and the cringiest thing that ever happened to him (the bomb). and its obvious they don't know anything else which makes the episode way funnier btw like 'shinsuke-sama's old war friend...animename gotblownup....' LMAO. i would love to see more of him because he is so conceptually fascinating but i also think the show would be ruined if he did anything except be a background extra. maybe he is. maybe hes always with us. contributing nothing

poor little meow meow: why i like hasegawa. i think him succeeding in life was the biggest betrayal of the timeskip. but takasugi definitely. like a squeaky toy that makes gasping squeaky chicken sounds instead. multiple people have said oboro is my type of character but honestly i think he's a bitch and if he were a proper meow meow he could have his place in the pantheon of gintama favs

horse plinko: doesn't this show torment characters enough.

eeby deeby: umibouzu

realizing with this meme it digs into a world beyond your favs. There's no room for the heights of Kagura or the comedic lows of Sacchan or the UILF hotness of abuto. I feel like I could add an extra paragraph about Hijikata like I could force him into horseplinko or eeby deeby but the sad thing is i would resent the show for making me watch him longer than i had to. he has a blandness that begs antipathy. i think he exists to make sougo funnier

#asks #im sorry im so mean to the king who is the star of the funniest scene in the entire anime #(the midnight mayo slurping)#when i saw that i laughed so hard i gagged and it still gets me even now

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friendofbats · 3 years ago

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Sorry if this ask is quite old, you don't have to answer if you don't want to ^^;

I just want to hear you gush about Rick XD

No need to apologize! I'm TOTALLY happy to answer any ask at any time. 😊 And I'm also TOTALLY happy to talk about the Friends of Mineral Town cast at any time too... especially if it's my boo Rick. ;)

Okay, admittedly, I ramble and gush a lot, so I’ll try to keep answers fairly short (or, well… as short as I can. 😅) How I feel about him -- Oh, you know I ADORE Rick. Admittedly, I have a really soft spot for nerdy-looking, dorky characters (being that that tends to be my "type" irl), so he's already got some bonus points in my eyes. But I'm aware my opinion of him is unpopular too. I've seen tons of Rick hate over the years, and it makes me really sad. I think people view him in an unfair light, or misconstrue his intentions, especially with Kai and Popuri, and I’d be more than happy to be the person to get Rick haters to start seeing him in a more positive light. 💖

(Oh God, okay, I got super carried away with my answers lmao, the rest is under the cut!)

All the people I ship romantically with him --

Karen x Rick -- I absolutely adore this canon pairing. I’m a sucker for childhood friends to lovers, and I love that the sexy, confident, sassy girl pairs up with the kinda dorky, lovable guy. Plus, I feel like she’s best suited to deal with Rick’s temperamental attitude out of anyone in the cast. They’re both clearly not afraid to speak their minds, but Karen seems a little more level-headed and… eloquently spoken? She’s the kind of person who’s not afraid to put her friends and family in their places when they need it, and Rick is definitely someone who needs to tone down his hatred of Kai.

Kai x Rick -- LMAO okay, so picture it. We all know “that scene” where Rick goes to the beach to yell at Kai to stay away from Popuri. But what if he’s just jealous that Kai pays attention to Popuri and not him? (“Stay away from my sister! ...So you can spend more time with me... 🥺”) What if, every time Summer rolls around, Rick only dreads it because he knows he’s going to have to suffer through Kai flirting with his own sister but ignoring him? What if Rick spends his nights, tossing and turning, feeling inner hatred for being the sibling Kai doesn’t notice, and he takes this inner hatred and projects it onto Kai? What if the only reason Rick hates that Kai leaves for the summer is because he misses him when he’s gone and he spends the next three seasons trying to move on, but somehow, he’s caught thinking about Kai’s charming smile, his athletic physique, his oh-so-charming personality? My non-romantic OTP for him --

Ann / Rick -- It makes sense that Ann would be good friends with most of the people her age who stay at the inn, or go there on a regular basis, and Rick is no exception. I’d imagine Rick would be quite the storyteller, and Ann would love listening to his tales and rants about Popuri and Karen and Lillia and his dad and the chickens, and finds his ramblings about Kai hilarious.

Anna, Sasha, Manna / Rick -- Adding onto Rick being quite the storyteller, I’d imagine he loves a good gab fest as much as these three ladies. And, of course, being that he canonically pairs with Karen, the daughter of Sasha, it makes sense to me that Karen tells Rick some of what she overhears/gets from her mom, and Rick is just sitting there like “omg??? they said WHAT???” I can just picture Rick walking by them, having their afternoon gossip in the square as usual, and he overhears a tidbit about someone, and he runs over and interjects, like, “Oh, THAT’S NOT ALL! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I HEARD???” My unpopular opinion about him -- Rick was always hot. ALWAYS. I was actually surprised to see people suddenly saying he was hot “now”, because to me he doesn’t look like... drastically different? I mean, yeah, he’s a little hotter, sure, but I’m confused over the opinions that he was once ugly and is now hot. One thing I wish would have happened with him -- I would have LOVED to see his father show up, even momentarily. I wish they had added more backstory about his father and his relationship with him. I also wish they would have delved into his hatred over Kai a little further. I get the feeling this is why so many people hate Rick – they see Rick randomly just hating Kai for what seems like no reason, aside from him being overly protective of Popuri. And while it might be true that he’s over-protective of Popuri and his hatred of Kai is a little irrational, it’s led to some really… unfavorable and upsetting opinions about Rick as a character.

#emeraldhaze15 #answers #character breakdown ask

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itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto · 4 years ago

Text

Amsterdam with Matthew.

A/N: Hi everyone, another Matthew fic for you all! This came about when I was talking to @hercleverboy and @gubetube a while ago, and just had to fic it!

My requests for both Matthew and Spencer Reid are open!

Trigger warnings: Smoking (weed), drinking (alcohol), swearing, sex references/dirty talk.

“Gube, we need a holiday.” You say to your boyfriend one evening, as you cook dinner. Last night Matthew made you lasagne, using the recipe Joe gave him and tonight you are cooking a chicken curry. “I love spending time with you, but I just need a week with my favourite human where I’m not drowning in my University work.”

Matthew smiled at you as he set the table in his apartment and went over to wrap his arms around your waist pulling you into a cuddle. “Where do you fancy peach?” He asked as you leant up to kiss him which he gladly accepted.

“Hmm. I’d like to go to Amsterdam, do some touristy stuff, but also get stoned.” You giggle.

“We’ve already got stoned before muffin, how will this be different?” Matthew asked as you stir the saucepan.

“Because it’s legal there.” You say wiggling your eyebrows

“Amsterdam it is.” Matthew smiled, “How long for dinner?”

“10 minutes.” You smile

“Perfect, gives me time to start looking at places to stay and book flights.” Matthew says grabbing his computer.

“How did I get so lucky?” You thought to yourself and put the rice on to cook.

“Thanks for dinner boo.” Matthew smiled putting his bowl down. “You’re the best chef.”

You smile, “You’re welcome Gube.” And get up putting everything in the dishwasher. “Do you fancy a drink?” You ask

“Can I have a glass of red wine please?” He asks as you nod pouring him one and getting yourself a cider out of the fridge. “You want cuddles?”

“Of course, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t want cuddles from you?” You chuckle and walk to the sofa.

“You didn’t want any last week when we were at your flat.” Matthew pouts as he makes grabby hands for the wine and for you to cuddle into.

“I had cramps and wanted to be a burrito of sadness.” You say handing him his drink.

Matthew nodded, “But cuddles help.” He says sipping his drink

“My mood swings don’t.” You say. “I hate them, one minute everything is rainbows and unicorns, one minute everything is hell on earth.”

“Aww, my poor little burrito.” Matthew pouted as you snuggled into his arms and started kissing your forehead gently.

“I’m okay now Gube. I just don’t like objectifying my hatred of the world on anyone.” You smile up at him.

“Babe, I have a mother and a sister. I’ve seen it all.” Matthew assured you.

You nod sipping your drink as Matthew put his laptop on your lap and you started to book your holiday.

Two weeks later, you and Matthew arrive into Amsterdam.

“Thanks for letting me stop to chat to my fans, or should I say our fans? They love you!” Matthew smiled, carrying your suitcase and you carried the rucksacks.

“They’re just being polite.” You say, looking down.

“Nuh-uh sunshine. They chatted to you for ages about us.” Matthew smiled, “And you chatted to them whilst I had some stuff to sign.”

You smile, Matthew’s fans totally adore you two, even though you’re not famous, his fans love that you’re just a normal person like them, and you are happy with that. “I guess they do love me, but I know someone who loves me more.”

Matthew gasps dramatically, “Who?”

You giggle going on your tiptoes and kiss his lips softly, “You idiot.”

You arrive into your AirBnB for the week and slump on the sofa, tired from the flight.

“I’m going to take a shower love bug.” Matthew says getting his toiletries out.

“Okay. I’m going to try to stay awake and find us something for dinner. What do you fancy to eat?” You ask looking at your boyfriend lovingly.

“You.” Matthew winked

“Gube!” You say nudging his arm and blushing.

“You didn’t complain last night.” Matthew shrugged. “But I’ll eat whatever.” He said kissing your cheek and went to have a shower.

“Fucking horny bastard.” You mumble to yourself and get out your phone, giggling at how Matthew got horny watching you eat a banana yesterday and then you two had sex straight after.

“Hey babe…” You hear Matthew call from the shower.

“Yeah honey?” You call back

“I forgot my shampoo, be the best girlfriend ever and bring it to me?” He asks

You roll your eyes and go to get it. “Moron.” You say handing it to him.

“Can you wash my hair? It relaxes me when you do it.” Matthew says with puppy eyes.

“I can’t refuse those eyes, of course I’ll wash your hair.” You smile, knowing Matthew would do the same for you. “Close your eyes pretty boy.”

“Thanks pumpkin.” Matthew smiles once you have done the last rinse.

“You always give me such cute nicknames.” You smile kissing his hand.

“Of course angel.” Matthew smiled, “You going to stay there whilst I wash the rest of my body?”

“Mhmm.” You say checking him out.

Matthew smirks, “Okay pretty eyes, my face is up here, not my dick.”

“Whatever.” You shrug as Matthew finishes his shower and wraps himself in the towel.

You giggle and have a shower yourself. “Want me to wash your hair?” Matthew offers

“I’m okay thanks, maybe later in the week?” You suggest

Matthew nods, kissing your shoulder and goes to get ready.

Later in the evening, you and Matthew settled on Tapas.

“Can we get some space cakes to eat back at the apartment?” You ask Matthew with a grin

“Of course. I was just thinking the same.” Matthew smiled as you hold hands

“My hands are so tiny compared to yours.” You pout

“That’s okay, they fit perfectly into mine.” Matthew said kissing your hand and bringing you in for a kiss, even though you had to be on your tip toes.

You smile, even during your bad days or moments, Matthew is always there to make it better.

You go into a shop and buy some space cakes, whilst Matthew buys a few joints for you both.

“Do we need a lighter angel?” Matthew asked you

You shrug, “Can always get another.”

Matthew nods agreeing with you and buys one.

“Can we ride bikes tomorrow Gube?” You ask with puppy eyes knowing it makes Matthew melt

“Of course princess.” Matthew smiled holding his hand out for you as you walked back to the AirBnB

“Okay, so we got alcohol, an ash tray, a lighter, all the weed, and my dream girl.” Matthew said checking you had everything now you were back at the AirBnB.

“Yep.” You smile, putting two glasses of water on the table as Matthew flops on the sofa, opening his arms for you.

“Come here baby girl.” Matthew smiles as you gladly snuggle into his arms and start eating a space cake, which Matthew takes a few bites from.

“You want to light up?” You ask Matthew, smiling at him like a goof.

“Sure.” Matthew said kissing your cheek first and then lit the joint. “I love getting stoned with you.” He said after taking a drag.

“I love you.” You say smooshing his cheeks, then kiss them both and take the joint off him.

“I love you too.” Matthew smiles.

“Joints are definitely stronger here. Not complaining though.” You say as you exhale.

“Mmm.” Matthew says burring his face in your chest.

After a few joints, you and Matthew are definitely feeling the buzz and are slow dancing to ‘Dancing in the moonlight’.

“You know if we ever have kids, I’m going to be so cross if they wear matching socks.” Matthew said as he took the joint from you.

You exhale, “I can just imagine you going ‘sweetie, your Mummy and Daddy love you very much but in the Gubler household we wear mis-matched socks, now please go back upstairs and change.’” You say in a strict Mum voice.

“Remember when my Mum caught us having sex at New Year?” Matthew laughs

You blush, “I was so embarrassed because you said you locked the door!”

“You told me you were sober.” Matthew giggled.

“Never trust an Irish girl when she says she’s sober after 10 pints.” You giggle as Matthew pulls you in for a kiss. “Are my eyes red?” You ask

“Yeah. Are mine?” Matthew asks as you nod.

“As red as the devils horns.” You say trying to keep a straight face.

“Do you want to have sex?” Matthew asked, even when he’s stoned or drunk, he’d never do anything you didn’t want to do.

“Yeah.” You smile like an idiot.

Matthew scooped you in his arms and you snuggled into them as he carried you to bed.

The following day

You wake up first, and put a top and leggings on, and go to the bathroom careful not to wake your pretty boyfriend and then go to make him a coffee, and a herbal tea for yourself.

Meanwhile Matthew wakes up, sad you’re not there, he’s been trying to get you to move in for a while, but as you don’t study where he lives, you’d have to commute two hours every day so you both agreed, once you graduate, you’d move in together.

Matthew smiles seeing you poor him a coffee. “Hi pretty lady.” He says in a raspy voice.

“Morning love muffin.” You smile handing him the mug.

“Thank you. Did you sleep okay?” He asks

You nod, “Yeah. I was fully knocked out after our fun.” You say sipping your tea. “Oh, I booked for us to do some stuff this week. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Stuff?” Matthew asks

“Well, bike riding and a few museums.” You shrug

“Sounds good cupcake.” Matthew smiled, “What’s for breakfast?”

“I got a delivery of waffles coming.” You smile, “Should be here in 15 minutes.”

“You’re the best.” Matthew said kissing your hand

Later on in the afternoon, you and Matthew are cycling around Amsterdam having the best time. “Babe, can we get lunch? I’m hungry.” You ask

“Of course.” Matthew smiled, “What do you fancy?”

“Maybe a picnic, we could get some stuff and sit by the canal?” You suggest

“Aww, I love that.” Matthew said and you cycled to the nearest shop to get some food.

“Thanks for the holiday Gube.” You say sipping your lemonade by the canal.

Matthew snaps a few cute selfies of you both, before putting them on Instagram. “Amsterdam with the best girlfriend who’s also my best friend.” Was the caption

“Aww.” You smile looking through the photos

“When did you take this one?” Matthew asked going on your Instagram, seeing the one of him on his phone wearing a white t-shirt.

“When we got stoned in my flat last time.” You say, “You were so giggly and I just had to take the picture. If you don’t like it, I’ll take it down.”

“No, it’s fine.” Matthew assured you. “We must’ve been really out of it.”

You laugh. “We were.”

Matthew smiles as you put your head on his shoulder and kisses your forehead gently. “Thank you for the holiday darling.”

“You paid for the flights.” You shrug

“You paid for the AirBnB.” Matthew smiled, even though Matthew could afford the whole thing, you still wanted to pay some of it. Matthew knows you never take advantage of him or his money, and it is one of the things he loves about you.

“Gube?” You ask

“Yes my love?” Matthew smiled

“Can we just stay here for a bit? I’m quite comfy.” You say

“Of course angel.” Matthew said draping a blanket over you two and you stayed there for a while just enjoying each-others company.

Taglist: @pumpkin-goob , @jpegjade , @andiebeaword , @hopebaker , @hotchsbabygirl , @hercleverboy , @cupcake525 , @gubetube , @aperrywilliams , @cosmic-psychickitty , @marleyhotchner , @gubler-me-up , @trina2323 , @goldentournesol

#Criminal Minds #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler fluff #matthew gray gubler fiction #matthew gray gubler smoking #my fics

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saeyoungs-sunflower · 4 years ago

Note

Hello!! I like your hc so much! So i was wondering can i request the rfa+v, and saeran with an mc who is really insecure with her body so she starve herself on accident? If you’re not comfortable than you don’t have to!! Thank you tho :)

Hey there! Thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoy them😊I hope it’s okay but I mainly left out the eating part/made it brief. I’m really sorry, it’s just a bit of a delicate topic for me to write about but I really hope it’s still okay for you.

Just a reminder that it’s okay to feel insecure, but remember that you are not defined by your insecurities. I also don’t believe that there is one definition of beautiful, nor do I believe that thinking you are beautiful is vain or arrogant. Please be kind to yourselves, and if you are going through a rough patch with your body image or self-love, then I sincerely hope this can be a comfort for you and, if you can, I encourage you to reach out to someone or talk to a professional. My DMs are always open, if you ever need a chat or to rant then I’m here to listen. You are welcome and loved here💛

***

RFA with an insecure MC

Zen:

❤︎ now, if you’ve done his route, then you know that this man understands

❤︎ and we also know that his looks are very important to him, so he completely acknowledges your feelings and in no way invalidates them

❤︎ but that being said, this man worships your body

❤︎ if you guys weren’t together he would be the best wing man because he LOVES to praise you and lift you up, even if you aren’t feeling particularly insecure

❤︎ you got a new outfit? “YES GIRL YOU WORK IT” you do your makeup different? “YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND ARTISTIC YES” you’re in your sweats and your hair’s a mess you feel totally gross? “THAT’S MY GIRL RIGHT THERE WOW YOU ARE GLORIOUS”

❤︎ he’s very vocal about his love for you and his love for your body

❤︎ sometimes it can be a bit embarrassing and usually comments on your appearance can make you feel uncomfortable/self-conscious, but for some reason when he does it it gives you a lil confidence boost <3

❤︎ we’re no stranger to the fact that he is hot as fuck

❤︎ honestly makes a little mad like who gave you the audacity to look like that hMMM?

❤︎ so when you first started going out, your confidence plummeted

❤︎ and it didn’t help that, whilst the majority of his fans loved you and loved the relationship, there were a few that really got to you

❤︎ they would post some not very nice comments about you on the forum

❤︎ they were just jealous fanatics, but you didn’t know that and took what they said to heart

❤︎ you started working out a lot after that, probably a bit too much

❤︎ Zen picked up on this, and he was all for exercising with you but bbygirl you’re over doing it and you really don’t seem to be enjoying it

❤︎ so he decides to teach you how to dance!!!!

❤︎ that way, you still get the endorphins from exercise, but you also learn a great skill which gives you loads of confidence because guess what!!! you’re a natural and you look gorgeous when you dance!!!!

❤︎ teaches you that working out doesn’t necessarily need to be done for aesthetic purposes, and you can have loads of fun with your boo whilst you do it!

Yoosung:

★ bit like Zen, he kinda understands how you feel

★ he often expressed it in the chatroom that he was jealous of Zen’s looks, so I think this boy is also a little insecure

★ poor lil chicken nugget you’re beautiful too

★ but when you chose him over Zen?? oh boy the confidence boost

★ it was then that he got to appreciate that his looks didn’t mean everything, and he was grateful that he got to learn that from you

★ so when he found out you were insecure, it made him sad because??? you’re literally perfect????

★ he noticed that you were always second guessing yourself

★ you would always try on and so many outfits/do your hair over and over until giving up and throwing on whatever, but you always looked so defeated

★ he made a note from then on to always show you off to his friends like yeah bitch this is my hot ass girlfriend who also happens to be the most amazing person on earth what about it?

★ his social media is flooded with candid photos of you and the captions were always about how beautiful you were and how lucky he was to have you

★ however, he was still a little suspicious about your insecurities

★ when you were together and he asked if you want to grab something to eat, you had always “already eaten”, which started to seem unlikely especially in some situations

★ so whenever you came over, he would cook you SUPER delicious food

★ this boy is a cooking GOD

★ he also tried to make sure they were fairly healthy and balanced meals so you wouldn’t feel guilty about eating

★ little by little, your relationship with food became healthier once you discovered how good it could be when you cook properly

★ but also insecurities and bad eating habits don’t go away over night

★ so he always leaves post-it notes around reminding you to eat and take care of yourself, and also one’s that tell you how much he cares and loves everything about you

★ he’s so damn cute somebody hold me

Jaehee:

☞ GIRL SAME

☞ i know i’m repeating myself but this lady gets you

☞ we know that when she started working for Jumin, he made her cut her hair and wear fake glasses, and even though she looked HOT AS HELL (yes baehee work it) she just felt wrong and uncomfortable about her appearance

☞ so she could pick up on the fact that you were insecure from the get go

☞ she noticed how you would shy away from pictures, and you always wore clothes that would hide your body

☞ well that just won’t do

☞ something must be done

☞ you wILL FEEL THE LOVE MC YOU WILL

☞ organises a shopping trip for you to try on some hella cool outfits

☞ invites Zen along because, as stated above, he is very vocal with his praise and is just really good at hyping you up

☞ pretty sure everyone in the shop hates you because Jaehee and Zen do not hold back whenever you come out of the changing room lmao

☞ you may have been kicked out of one shop but let’s not worry about that

☞ you came home with some pretty fire outfits that were really flattering on you and just made you feel great ya know?

☞ Jaehee is usually pretty shy when asking you personal questions

☞ but she wants to help you, so one night over dinner she manages to get you to open up to her

☞ and man Jaehee is a good listener

☞ as a woman, i feel like she is able to understand where you’re coming from more than any of the others, so you’re in good hands :)

Jumin:

♚ this man…

♚ he just doesn’t get it i’m so sorry

♚ it’s not that he doesn’t care about your insecurities or thinks you are ridiculous for feeling that way, not at all actually

♚ looks were just never something he really thought about it in general

♚ he knew he was ‘good-looking’ and he knew what was considered ‘good-looking’, he just never cared about it much

♚ at first he was just like??? but you’re literally MC??? what is there to be insecure about???

♚ you had done pretty well at hiding your insecurities at the beginning of your relationship

♚ which was helped by the fact that Jumin would never assume that you had anything to dislike about yourself, so he never looked out for/noticed the signs

♚ it took a whole year guys damn

♚ it had been a year since you got together, so he wanted to take you out for a lovely meal

♚ but he also bought you a beautiful dress

♚ haha…

♚ this was where it went tits up lmao

♚ you were so grateful for it, it was a really stunning dress and you were actually pretty excited to try it on

♚ and so was he hehehe

♚ but when you came out of the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror, he noticed that your eyes were welling up and boi your face did not look happy

♚ Jumin’s like: ??????

♚ Jumin.exe has stopped working

♚ instantly takes you in his arms, shushing and cooing you as he rubbed your back

♚ “My love, what is it?”

♚ after a few sniffles, you knew you just had be honest with him

♚ “I’m sorry, Jumin. It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen but I just ruin it…it belongs on someone else, not on me.”

♚ holds you so much tighter and even starts to feel tears prick his own eyes

♚ he takes a different approach to compliments

♚ he finds a way to compliment your appearance without sounding superficial or fake

♚ instead of “you’re beautiful”, he goes for “your smile lights up the room” or “you carry so much warmth and kindness in your eyes”

♚ it’s his way of letting you know that he thinks you’re the most gorgeous thing to walk the planet, but while also telling you that you are so much more than what you look like

Saeyoung:

☀︎ hoo hoo boiiiiii

☀︎ i’m just gonna cut to the chase

☀︎ he found out during some ~sexy times~

☀︎ i’m not going into graphic detail it’s not that kind of post ;)

☀︎ things were getting hella heated like damn

☀︎ so he started to ya know like…unbutton your shirt

☀︎ why am i actually getting embarrassed while writing this i need to get a grip

☀︎ spot the virgin lmfao

☀︎ but then you stopped him and he’s like P A N I C

☀︎ terrified that he crossed a line bby chill for a sec

☀︎ but then you ask if you could turn off the light and he starts to suspect that you don’t want him to see your body

☀︎ he’s so gentle about the topic it’s very sweet

☀︎ he wants you to know that he loves every fibre of your being, but he also doesn’t want to push you if you’re uncomfortable

☀︎ “MC, I adore every part of you, including your body. If you want me to turn off the light I absolutely will, but if you let me, I want to show you just how much you mean to me.”

☀︎ you hesitated, but eventually agreed to leave the light on

☀︎ and JESUS CHRIST HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT

☀︎ Saeyoung has an incredible attention to detail, as well as patience

☀︎ and he took his sweet time with you lemme tell ya

☀︎ you’re pretty sure he kissed every inch on your body whilst also whispering his praise as he did so

☀︎ he honestly made you feel like a Goddess

☀︎ everything he said was sincere and he just treated you with so much care and love and that shit is contagious

☀︎ ever since then, he was more physically affectionate with you until eventually you didn’t even think twice when undressing in front of him

☀︎ hello yes i would like to order one Saeyoung pls thank you

☀︎ actual love of my life

V / Jihyun:

❁ he asked you to be his model for one of his paintings

❁ and you were like ummmm……okay maybe it won’t be too bad????

❁ but this man has no chill

❁ he wanted you to be semi-nude and you were like h e l l n o

❁ he was also Confused™

❁ you tried to make up some excuse but it was hopeless

❁ so you just told him that being nude in front of him was already difficult for you, but for you body to be on display for others to see was just too much

❁ this sweet man

❁ his heart broke

❁ it hurt him so much to know that someone with such a kind soul ever doubted her worth, especially because of something like your looks

❁ you were absolutely stunning to him, but he wanted you to believe that yourself

❁ he made a deal with you that if you modelled for him and were still uncomfortable with the outcome, then it would only ever be seen by you two

❁ you reluctantly agreed, and he made it his mission to make you see yourself through his eyes

❁ it took him a while to complete, but when he did oh man

❁ you full on started sobbing

❁ OH SHIT HE MADE MC CRY PANIC PANIC

❁ someone help this man

❁ you managed to tell him that you weren’t crying because you were upset, but because you never thought that you would ever see yourself as beautiful

❁ but the way he painted you GOOD G R I E F

❁ he made you look ethereal, and you couldn’t believe that this was how he saw you

❁ you didn’t even focus on the parts of you that you would usually hate because he made them look so heavenly and like,,,they belonged there???

❁ “Jihyun, you made me look so lovely.”

❁ “No, my love, that’s just what I saw. Everything you see here is you, nothing else.”

❁ okay great he made you cry even more goOD jOb jIhYuN

Saeran:

☽ ha ha ha ha ha

☽ you thought Jumin was bad?? oh i am so sorry my guy

☽ he just has no clue

☽ “What do you mean? Why do you care about how you look? You’re not ugly or anything.”

☽ gee thank you Saeran

☽ but also you are not helping in the slightest

☽ he’s REALLY not good at expressing his affection okay pls give him a break

☽ but he’s not heartless come on now

☽ it took him a while to fully understand where you were coming from, and even then he struggled to find a way to help

☽ Saeran is a very quiet supporter

☽ it’s hard to spot to the naked eye, but you know when Saeran cares for you because you feel it

☽ the first thing he notices is your body language

☽ and since he doesn’t really know what to do, he kinda just...adjusts you

☽ for example, if he sees that your body language is very closed off, almost like your trying to hide your body, he’ll silently move your shoulders and fix your posture so you are more open

☽ and if he sees you bow your head or try to block your face, he’ll silently lift your chin up

☽ but the most important part is that when he does this, he always smiles at you

☽ now Saeran is very careful with expressing his emotions. so when he does show his feelings, you know he means it

☽ so you started to hold yourself with more certainty and confidence, because it made him smile to see you not hiding away

☽ ‘fake it til you make it’ is a very real thing, and eventually it became natural to embrace every part of you

☽ when he became more comfortable, he told you that he was proud of how far you’d come and how he loved to see you feel good in your own skin

***

Thank you anon for the request, I hope you’re doing okay. Once again, anyone is welcome to message me if you’re struggling and need a friend to talk to <3 x

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fandomlurker · 4 years ago

Text

A Ponderous Rewatch: Bubba Bo Bob Brain and Cameo

Can I just say that I think I’m somehow getting worse at keeping the screenshot count down?

Neither the cameo nor the main episode in this post are animated by TMS, so that’s not the reason for the surprisingly high screenshot count. However, the regular episode is animated by Wang Film Production, who are the same folks that animated the very first PatB segment and have done most of the episodes I’ve covered so far, including the previous one. I can tell they’ve gotten a better handle at animating our main duo in the skit we’re looking at today, especially Brain. Wang Film Production is no TMS, but they’ve gotten very, very good at expressions. They’ve also seemed to settle into a rounded and soft design for Brain, something that they’re kind of known for among fans if I recall correctly. Pinky can still be a little…off at this point in time, though.

Moving on, the cameo that we’re starting with is animated by Akom Film Productions. They’re the folks who usually do the animation for the Chicken Boo and Goodfeathers episodes, and they usually do a pretty good job with those characters. As far as our mouse duo go, though, Akom has only done “Opportunity Knox” so far. You know, the one with the oddly nightmarish Brain close-ups. Thankfully we get none of that since it’s only a short bit.

So yes, onto the cameo in “Noah’s Lark”!

So this is actually a Hip Hippos episode, but luckily we don’t have to deal with them at all right now. The premise is the story of Noah’s Ark, obviously, but the character of Noah is done as a parody of the stand-up comedian Richard Lewis, who was somewhat popular in the 80s. The most modern and notable media he’s been involved in that people on Tumblr might know him from (or at least, what I think folks here might recognize, it can be a little hard to gauge that since both millennials and gen z folks are the main demographic of this site) are Robin Hood: Men in Tights where he played Prince John, and Curb Your Enthusiasm where he plays himself.

Noah is rounding up two of every animal to go onto the ark (which is a popular depiction of how the story goes, but is actually false: it’s supposed to be seven male and female pairs of “clean” animals of each species and one pair of “unclean” animals of the same species, but that’s as far as I’m going into that topic). He’s nearly finished the list and has just been mauled by the wolverine pair, and…

“Lab mice?...”

The fact that he’s specifically asking for a pair of lab mice raises a lot of questions that I don’t think we have time to unpack.

The pair of lab mice that he gets is, of course, Pinky and the Brain.

And Pinky is, for the very first time in the series, crossdressing, presumably to pass as a female mouse so he and Brain can survive the great flood by boarding the ark.

…This is also a lot to unpack.

“Check!” they both exclaim, although Pinky does it in a very deep voice for some reason.

Wow, look at the surprise and then hostile suspicion on Noah’s face there!

Their outfits are very 1950s, with Brain even carrying a suitcase. Anachronisms aside, these two really went all out for the “we are a normal, heterosexual pair” ruse, didn’t they? Not only is Pinky in a dress and a blonde wig, but Brain even put on a little bowler hat. Why did he feel the need to do that? Did he feel left out of dressing up otherwise? Was he afraid he wouldn’t look “manly” and hetero enough without it? I have so many questions…

“Whew! These pantyhose are killing me, Brain!”

Wow, for once it’s Pinky physically hurting Brain, even if it’s a relatively minor tug on the ear.

“I think I prefer knee-highs…”

…Pinky, you’re not even wearing pantyhose. What the hell are you talking about?

Assuming that this is just the result of an animation oversight (which, honestly, I’m certain it was), we now know that his disguise went so over-the-top as to include pantyhose which Noah wouldn’t normally see…and also it’s a type of pantyhose that Pinky doesn’t even like wearing, which implies to me that this is something Brain acquired for him.

There is just so much going on in cameos like these if you think about them for even a few seconds.

Also, I agree with Pinky. Knee-high pantyhose are much less uncomfortable to wear.

BONK!

So the mice are allowed to board and the audience is left to think that their little ruse worked, but immediately after the two run off and are out of listening range Noah rolls his eyes and says

“Who am I to judge?”

Heavily implying Noah completely saw through it and let them on anyway. Wow.

That’s the end of their cameo. Who’d have thought that this little scene would be the precursor to Brain having Pinky crossdress to disguise him as Brain’s wife so many times in the series? And who’d have thought that this very first time wouldn’t fool anyone at all?

But now let’s move on to the meat of this rewatch post:

We open to Acme Labs at night, as usual, though I’ve never noticed until now how lonely and eerie the place seems if you ignore our mouse duo.

“Pinky… I believe I have conceived my most brilliant plan to date!”

Oh boy, we have another first for today! Brain is very much a fan of using temporary mind control for his plans. It’s the method he falls back on the most, which is very interesting when you consider his various psychological issues involving having control taken away from him all his life.

“I shall use subliminal mind control to take over the world!”

“…Pinky?”

The hand-on-hip pose here is great.

“Today’s inside story is country mega-star Willie Ray Cypress!”

Uh, Pinky? Considering that this is pretty much the expression you had while looking at Pharfignewton, I am very, very worried about you looking at the Billy Ray Cyrus parody the same way.

“Don’t tell my head, my empty hollow head!~”

“You know I wouldn’t understand!~”

Same, Brain. Same. It’s just like Pinky to enjoy a song as earworm-y as this (not to mention how relevant this parody is to his everyday experience with Brain’s plans), but lord was the real song this is making fun of annoying as hell back in the day. Like, I was a small child at the time this song came out, and I still hated how often this would be played on the radio.

Luckily, Brain pounces on the remote’s off button and puts an end to the nonsense.

But oh, the look of sad betrayal on Pinky’s face is heartbreaking! I’m sorry, sweetie!

“It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.”

Heh, Brain said “boob”. /inner six year old

“You have no idea…”

“Pinky, do you know what a subliminal message is?”

“Something you leave on a subliminal telephone answering machine?”

Nice try, Pinky.

“No. It is a recorded message perceived only by the subconscious human mind.”

Two things here:

This diagram bothers me because my mind always interprets the way they’ve drawn the bottom of the cerebellum as the person shutting their eyes extremely tightly.

Brain using his own tail as a pointing stick is very, very cute and I love this detail.

“I have recorded such a message.”

He’s still holding his tail, aaaa!~

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say…”

“Nice mix, but it’s not exactly danceable, is it?”

Oh, Pinky. Only you would sincerely compliment Brain’s incredibly dry mind control message and then immediately point out a flaw that has nothing to do with its purpose. Bless you, you stupid and wonderful little mouse.

I like how Pinky’s interjection startles the hell outta Brain for a moment, too.

“If people heard this message enough times, they would succumb to my control and we could take over the world!”

Notice that despite Pinky being a minor annoyance and despite the fact that Brain claims that everyone will be under his control, yet again it’s still both of them taking over the world.

“What do you think, Pinky?”

And he still wants Pinky’s input. It’s small and scattered and very, very subtle, but in my opinion this is Brain’s most frequent way of showing that he cares about Pinky. Brain likely isn’t even aware that he does it. Pinky might not be aware, either.

“I think I’m getting dizzy and I rather like it! Ahahahahahoo!~”

“Sometimes you hurt my head, Pinky…”

And yet, Brain. And yet…

“The only problem: How to get this message repeated worldwide airplay…?”

Offscreen, Pinky turns the TV back on and startles Brain again, but only for a moment.

Another great pose and expression here: Mildly annoyed, but interested and on the verge of an idea.

“I just adore Willie Ray!”

“I listen to his song twenty times a day!”

I…really don’t know why they chose to have this shot done with Brain walking over the “camera” towards the TV so we get a brief close-up of Brain’s mousey behind. It made me laugh, though, so I thought I’d share.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

I’m also kind of obsessed with this brief expression of Pinky’s I unintentionally managed to capture. It’s a bit of a smug, knowing, and yet endeared look. I’m sure it’s completely unintentional on the animators’ part, but I love the idea it gives me of Pinky knowing exactly what Brain’s thinking but purposefully saying something entirely unrelated to playfully tease him.

“Well, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.”

To be fair, Pinky, I think burlap chafes everyone. And were you thinking about doing a potato sack race? That’s the only connection to burlap I can think of that would be in any way relevant...

“Country music, Pinky. I will go to Nashville and become the biggest country music star of all time! Everyone will hear my record and my subliminal message and I will take over the world!”

In all honesty, that would probably be easier to do in the early 90s when this takes place since country music wasn’t such a…well, “dead” is a bit of an exaggeration, but country music as a genre is incredibly unpopular nowadays with the occasional notable exception. In the early 90s? Not so much.

“Egad, Brain!”

This is the most enthusiastic swoon I’ve seen and heard from you yet, Pinky.

“Oh! But no, no… It takes people years of hard work to become famous, Brain.”

Well, that or they’re born into a famous family. Or they’re just rich.

“Why, take Kathie Lee Gifford for example: She did community theatre, and—“

I actually can’t find anything via Googling about Kathie Lee doing community theatre before she became famous. She seems to have studied music and drama in university, and had a folk music group in high school, but the only reference to theatre I can find is professional musical theatre in the late 90s.

It’s possible Pinky’s right, though.

BONK!

BRAIN! …Wait, where did you even get that tiny club?

“Stop talking, Pinky, I must think.”

You… Brain, I think I’m starting to see why some fans believe you may be as neurodivergent as Pinky is, but in a different way. I can’t in good faith elaborate on that myself, since I haven’t been diagnosed as such and it would be completely disrespectful of me to do so, but if anyone wants a good little theory on that, try here.

“I have calculated every ingredient necessary to become a country music mega-star. Read me the list, Pinky!”

He’s typing by hopping from one key to another, aww!

Eeeh, the lettering work on that computer is pretty bad, though.

“A cowboy hat.”

“Check!”

“A southern dialect.”

“Check, ya’ll!”

“Nice, Brain.”

The way Pinky says “nice” here reminds me of this meme. Also, aww, Pinky’s always ready with the compliments.

“Working class values…”

“I enjoy beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.”

His visible cringe at having to say he enjoys Gallagher is wonderful. I first heard about Gallagher through My Brother, My Brother and Me, but for anyone that doesn’t know, Gallagher is a frankly terrible prop comedian whose most famous act was smashing things on stage (usually fruits of increasing size) with a large mallet that he called the “Sledge-O-Matic”, ending with smashing a watermelon. It was apparently a mildly popular bit of comedy in the south. Does that sound entertaining? No? Yeah, that’s…that’s why Brain is cringing so hard.

“A song.”

“Check!”

A song titled “A Song”. Brain, sweetheart, I think you’re going to need to put in a little more effort than that.

“A name consisting of not less than three words.”

“From now on, I shall be ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’. Check.”

I would make fun of him for this name, but honestly it’s kind of genius in its bland simplicity.

“And…a height of at least six feet!”

“Aaa--guebuh…”

Whoops. Forgot about that one, huh?

“Drat!”

“There must be some way for me to increase my height…”

Gee, if only you had a fully operational mechanical human suit just laying around.

“Hmm, let me think…”

“Don’t hurt yourself, Pinky.”

He is trying his best!

“Faster, Pinky! Faster!”

…Why does Pinky have to spin the thread? The whole point of sewing machines like this is that they’re powered electrically, Brain. Are you just making him do this so Pinky feels included?

Oh. Oh no…

Brain’s “WTF?” face is great. He’s surprised and yet not at the same time, because things like this just happen when you have Pinky around.

“You amaze me, Pinky.”

“I do my best…”

A very cute exchange.

So instead of using the mechanical human suit they usually fall back on in times like these (maybe it’s under six feet tall?), the mice instead come up with…this.

“Proceed, Pinky.”

I have to give them some credit, regardless of how ridiculous this is, as sewing denim to make a very bizarrely thin and tall pair of jeans must have been an absolute nightmare.

“Ki-yi-yippee-yi-yo. How do I look?”

I’m getting flashbacks to the similarly deadpan singing of “Camptown Races” from last episode. Brain’s really on a western kick lately, isn’t he?

“Oh, very nice, Brain!”

Your finger-framing may be focused on the back of Brain’s head for some reason, Pinky, but your pupils are definitely pointed a bit…lower.

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’.”

“You are my manager, Colonel Pinky.”

This is a reference to Elvis Presley’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, who was honestly quite the bungler when it came to managing Elvis’ career. I honestly don’t think Brain’s making a subtle jab at Pinky’s competency here for once because Brain’s grasp of pop culture he’s not already interested in is surface level at best most of the time.

“You discovered me playing the guitar on the front porch of my humble pig farm. Any questions?”

“Oh, just one: When you farm humble pigs, how far apart do you have to plant them?”

“…If I could reach you, I would hurt you.”

Hey now, you’re the one that asked, Brain.

“But for now, on to Nashville!”

“On to Nashville!”

BONK!

“This is a pain that is going to linger…”

That’s what you get for rolling your eyes at Pinky’s enthusiasm.

No perilous car trips this time! Instead, the boys are getting bus tickets to Nashville.

“Two tickets to Nashville, please.”

“Ooh-wee!~ You’re a tall drink a’ water, aint’cha, darlin’?”

…Ma’am? Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am, are you flirting with The Brain?

Like, sorry, that “tall drink of water” saying is not just to point out that someone’s tall. It’s specifically for flirting with someone who is tall and gorgeous and a refreshing sight to see, like a tall glass of water on a hot summer day.

This lady is flirting with a mouse on stilt legs.

I know that Brain’s disguises are prone to inexplicably work even when by all rights they shouldn’t, but…

“Actually, I am a lab mouse on stilts.”

Brain does his usual bold and plain truth shtick and I’m a little surprised that he didn’t react to what she said beyond that. Then again, this is Brain and he’s quite terrible when talking to women in general, so maybe we dodged a bullet here.

“…At least he didn’t ask me to pull his finger.”

I’ve worked in retail and food service for years, ma’am, and if that’s the extent of your experience with unpleasant men, consider yourself lucky.

“EGAD, Bibby-boo-bop-Brain! Round trips are so exciting!”

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’, Pinky.”

“Right! Sorry. Zort!”

Honestly, Pinky’s version is much cuter.

“Concentrate, Pinky, concentrate!”

BONK!

“YES! This pain will definitely be with me a while.”

Brain out here looking like a bad Minecraft texture.

Hello again, Warner Siblings! Gosh, that little fringed western skirt on Dot is cute.

“’The Rowdy Ranch Nightclub’… What are we doing here, Boobie-baa-baa-Brain?”

I checked the official subtitles for this and yes, that is exactly what he mistakenly calls Brain here. We have had both of these two call each other “boob” or some permutation of it this episode.

Pinky and the Brain sure is a show that exists.

“…It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob’ Brain. And according to statistics, and inordinate number of country western superstars have gotten their start at this very establishment.”

You probably didn’t need me to tell you this, but there’s no Rowdy Ranch Nightclub in real life. There is, however, “The Rowdy Ranch”, uh, ranch in Texas.

“Egad! [gasp] Do you suppose Minnie Pearl performed here?”

“One can only hope…”

Man, Brain, you are really laying the sarcasm on thick this episode. Come to think of it, he’s been slightly more sassy towards Pinky than usual this episode as well. I suppose he’s still sore about the end of the last one. You know, for reasons.

BONK!

At least he’s getting some karmic punishment for it, I guess.

“I am a telephone repairman from this area!~”

This little ditty this man is singing has bugged the hell out of me for quite a while, as it certainly sounds like it’s a reference to something but I never knew exactly what it was referring to until just now thanks to an old Animaniacs Usenet group from way back in the day: It’s a parody of the song “Whichita Lineman” by Glenn Campbell. The writers are really giving it their all with the pop culture references this time.

“When I give the signal, play the subliminal message tape.”

“Right-o, Bippie Bebop Balloola!”

“…Sometimes you frighten me, Pinky.”

Why, though?! Despite it being a mistake it’s honestly a goddamn adorable one. Why must you fear affectionate, innocent, unknowing malapropisms, Brain? Pinky’s still going to do what you told him to.

Anyway, Brain is ushered onto the stage as a newcomer and he’s…not exactly any more eloquent than Pinky was just now.

“Howdy, you all. Here’s a little…ditty I wrote. Hope you enjoy it…you all.”

Here’s the thing: Brain’s not one to get stage fright, and while he’s not the best actor he’s still usually better than this. He was saying “ya’ll” and getting the country-isms perfectly fine beforehand, although he was still doing it in his deadpan Brain way.

Now, suddenly, after hearing Pinky cutely screw up his fake name and going on stage he’s starting to mess up. It’s like Pinky’s error is still in the back of his mind and flustering him enough to throw him off for a bit.

He gets back into the swing of things when he starts singing his song, though.

“I am a lab mouse, I escaped from my cage

Never had a job, never earned minimum wage.~”

“He ain’t half bad.”

“Ain’t half good, either.”

OUCH. That’s a little harsh. Sure, the lyrics are kinda blah but he’s a decent singer here. Really, it’s just not a genre of music that his voice fits very well.

Also, lady? You’ve got a suspiciously busty doppleganger in the back there. That’s got to be a bad omen for you.

“But you will respect me, YES, once my plan is unfurled!~

You will call me your leader, I’ll be king of the world!~”

Careful, Brain. Your complicated emotional complex is starting to show in those lyrics.

There’s some more nice facial expressions here too. I can’t really capture it with still images, but Brain’s got a very tender demeanor when he sings about being king of the world.

“Now, Pinky!”

…I just noticed that Pinky’s wearing a completely different outfit here at the nightclub than he was when boarding the bus to get to Nashville. He was previously in an all-white colonel outfit and now he’s in a more generic yet very sweet cowboy get-up. Did you make yourself an entire wardrobe, Pinky?

Another minor detail is that while Pinky’s cowboy hat is a generic tan colour (although before, it was white), Brain’s hat is completely black, which as per western film traditions marks him as a clear villain.

You and I know he’s not really a villain and is, at worst, an anti-villain…but I thought this was worth pointing out anyway.

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say.”

I love how he does this completely unneeded strum on his guitar in the middle of his subliminal message. It's for the drama!

“Buy my record and listen to it twenty times a day.”

Corporations be like…

Who am I kidding? Corporations nowadays would have you pay a fee monthly to have a song on your phone playlist and you would never really own a copy.

“Let’s buy his record…”

“And listen to it twenty times a day…”

Lady, that doppleganger is still over there. Do you need a distraction while you sneak out the back?

This smug lil’ jerk. Gotta love him, though.

And so Brain’s cassette tapes fly off the shelves at record speed.

Man. Cassette tapes. I feel so fuckin’ old…

“I don’t know ‘bout ya’ll, but I can’t get enough of Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Let’s hear it again!”

JFC, that spittoon. Blegh! And just what do you need that rope for?!?

“Well, he’s the hottest thing to hit Nashville since my mama’s jalapeno grits! Here’s Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Having just recently learned what exactly “grits” is, I am very disturbed by the idea of jalapeno grits.

“I’m your biggest fan! What d’you say to that?”

Hi, Dolly Parton! I’ve gotta say that the animators nailed the caricature of 90s Dolly here pretty well. She’s instantly recognizable, unlike some other celebrity parodies Animaniacs does. It’s not just because of Dolly’s, uh…most renowned physical characteristics, either. That’s a very Dolly Parton smiling face.

Not much to say here other than that Dolly’s a sweetheart of a woman, from what I know about her, especially for a celebrity. She’s a staunch supporter of Covid relief and Black Lives Matter as well.

That said, she’s sadly—both in the 90s and now—most well known for…

“I’d say puberty was inordinately kind to you.”

BRAIN!

Well, yeah. That.

I guess now you can see what I mean about Brain not being very good at talking to women. Like, he’s definitely not ogling her here. In fact he’s just kind of…stating something he’s noticed and looking absolutely done with this whole celebrity thing. But Brain you don’t just make a joke like that about a woman’s bust size no matter how deadpan you do it, you ass!

“Haha, go on.”

She takes it well, though, just like Dolly seems to in reality.

Still, though! Brain, you retroactively deserved all those run-ins with doorframes.

Continuing on the buxom southern women thing this episode has decided to run with (seriously, what’s going on here?), we now have a brief parody of a Hee Haw skit.

“Hahahahaha!”

“Hey, Bubba Bo Bob Brain, I just got back from France!”

“How’d you find it?”

“I used a map.~”

“Hahahahaha!”

Yeah, that’s an accurate depiction of Hee Haw style humour.

“And the Country Tune Award for best male vocal goes to…”

“Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Here we have Garth Brooks and Crystal Gayle emceeing this awards ceremony. I had to look up who these two were supposed to be, though, since the caricatures are pretty vague this time.

“EGAD! YIPPEE! Narf! Ah hahahahahaha!”

Aww, he’s so happy for Brain! And oh, is that yet another outfit I see? And a much more appropriately sunshine-y yellow and flamboyant one at that! Pinky really went all-out for this.

Again with the tongue hanging out too, except this time it’s more understandable.

“You’re embarrassing me, Pinky.”

And you’re continuing to be a jerk, wow. Someone needs a nap or something.

“Pardon my effervescence, but your accolade is more than any bucolic mouse merits.”

“What’s he sayin’?”

“I don’t know.”

Yes, Brain just used the word “effervescence”, much like in that one Tumblr Twilight meme. To those reeling from the fact that this compares Edward to Brain via their shared pretentiousness: You’re welcome.

Also, a Brain-to-common English translation: “Pardon my bubbly enthusiasm, but your award is more than any countryside mouse deserves.” Would that have been so hard to say, Brain?

“…I’d like to thank my mama and Elvis.”

I wouldn’t thank Elvis. He was an asshole. But that’s probably not wise to say at a 90s country music award show, so I guess it’s understandable.

“Oh, how nice!”

“Well isn’t that nice!”

“I’m outside the Grand Ol’ Opry, where tonight’s concert featuring country music sensation ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’ is being televised worldwide.”

“In two words: Bubba is hot!”

I… That’s twice in this episode where a human woman thinks a tiny, big-headed mouse on stilts is hot.

Furries, come get these poor, confused women.

“You gotta know how to cut ‘em

Know how to shuffle

Know how to deal the cards, before you play Fish with me.~”

Hello, Kenny Rogers. I only know the song parodied here, “The Gambler”, again through “My Brother, My Brother and Me” and the long and hilarious conversation about it.

It’s kind of weird to have a song that was made famous by Rogers in 1978 sung like it’s a recent hit in an early 90s awards show, but ehh. Maybe the shelf life of hit country songs is a lot longer than songs of other genres.

And then you die in your sleep~

“Do you realize what will happen if the world hears my song just one more time?”

“An angel will get its wings?!”

If only, Pinky.

“NO, Pinky!”

I think all this country stuff is really getting on Brain’s nerves. He’s being snappy and irritable and lashing out an abnormal amount ever since arriving in Nashville, and there’s not a lot of joy in the minor successes he’s had so far. Like, compare Brain smiling and praising Pinky for his work during the alien encounter spoof they did together, the last episode with Brain cheerfully singing to himself when he was certain he’d win the race…to now where he’s yelling at Pinky for minor mistakes that no one but himself is aware of and being joyless and faking pleasantries and rolling his eyes at the country stars he’s surrounded by. This mouse is crabby as all hell, and I don’t think it’s just because he finds the whole country western thing stupid and below him. This is a mouse who’s done and will continue to do degrading things to achieve his goal of world domination without this much jerkishness.

I think he’s still fuming about the whole Pharfignewton and Pinky thing, and the current plan being a very rural, country-focused plan like the last one with the Kentucky Derby is just exacerbating it by reminding him of it. Like, you don’t even have to take it in the gay way I am and instead take it in a “how dare that goddamn horse take the complete attention of my friend/world domination partner away from me and my plans, this sucks and I can’t believe Pinky’s just being his usual dumbass self like everything is fine and the same” sort of way.

But the gay way makes way more sense, fight me.

…Okay, don’t fight me, I’m tired and old and I really don’t want to get in internet fights about cartoon mice.

“My subliminal message will take permanent hold, and the world will be under my control!”

Ooof! We’re back down to “my” control and not “our”. Jeez, Brain. You really are spiraling right now, aren’t you? Your attitude has quickly devolved from the beginning of this episode...

“Oh, that.”

And dang, even Pinky’s enthusiasm is starting to get deflated.

“Now, do you remember what you have to do?”

“Yes. I need to make a dental appointment. I have horrible plaque buildup!”

Pinky, you do realize that unlike a regular, non-sapient mouse you can just brush your teeth, right?

“The tape, Pinky, the TAPE!”

“Oooh, right! When you give the signal, I play the tape.”

“And now, I’d like to introduce…”

“This is it, I’m on.”

“Good luck, Booba Bip Bop Brain!”

Folks, I swear to you that I tried to get a decent screencap of Pinky slapping Brain to figure out if he slapped his back or his ass and for the life of me I could not get it. The slap goes by just that fast and I’d honestly have to go frame by frame if I wanted to get it, but my video player will not go that slow.

Either way, Brain is certainly startled by the contact but is fixated more on the continued mangling of his fake name.

“How many times do I have to tell you, my name is--!”

Uhh, Brain? Getting a liiiittle close there.

“—Bubba Bo Bob Brain!” exclaims Kenny Rogers. And oh boy are these screencaps exploitable. Again, you’re welcome.

“Yee-haw! Let’s start this hootenanny!”

Better than last time you came out on stage to sing at a show, at least.

This time the crowd even sings along with him, and they’re not even hypnotized yet. Much better.

“Now, Pinky!”

“You are under my control, you will do whatever I say…”

“I will do whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says…”

A confusingly consistent detail here: Every woman in the crowd has swirly red hypnotized eyes and every man in the crowd has swirly green hypnotized eyes. Why? Who knows!

“Way to go, Blubber Boo Bean Brain. Narf!”

Heh, that hand flip.

It looks like Pinky is trying hard to suppress his verbal tic here for some reason? Or maybe he’s just realized that he’s messed up the name again and is cringing in anticipation of Brain yelling at him? Either way, poor guy… You really don’t deserve any of what’s coming.

And what’s coming? Well, given Brain’s heightened pissy attitude and his mental issues with not having things go exactly the way he wants them to, plus his obsessive need this episode to correct Pinky on this one thing that doesn’t need to even be addressed because no one else hears it, plus other repressed emotions…

“Do me a favour and forget my name. While you’re at it, forget you ever knew me!”

Holy shit.

…Now you fucked up, Brain. Now you fucked up.

Man, I hate the one thick facial hair on the dude in the middle. It’s so unsettling.

“Hey, who’s that skinny guy on stage?”

“Who is he?”

“Get him off!”

“Boo!”

“We wanna see someone famous!”

Yup. Look at what you did. You messed this up all because you were having a temper tantrum about Pinky messing up your stupid false name. You hang that head in shame. And you apologize to Pinky.

Later...

“Tonight’s inside story: A complete unknown somehow made it on to the stage at the Grand Ol’ Opry.”

“…Turn that off, Pinky.”

You know what? Keep it on for a bit, Pinky. Let Brain wallow in this humiliation just a bit more. He needs to have the lesson set in.

“I’m trying to concentrate on a better plan for tomorrow night.”

“Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“Same thing we do every night, Pinky:”

“Try to take over the world!”

Hey wait just a minute! You can’t just reuse this excellent ending from “Win Big” on this episode! Brain doesn’t yet deserve to get back to being cocky and determined after being such an ass!

Ahh well. He does get better, folks, I promise. This is just a rough patch. Brain is… He’s going through some things, I think. He’s not processing his emotions in a healthy way and it’s really coming back to bite him.

Listen, I understand this whole thing with Brain being extra grumpy and hostile after the whole Pinky dating Pharfignewton thing is largely coincidence. We don’t actually know what order these episodes were made in, after all, and the Animaniacs writers were not big on continuity.

Here’s the thing, though: I still find it fascinating that these episodes were aired one after the other…especially with a random cameo with Pinky and Brain disguised as a married couple in between. It makes for the beginning of a strange sort of arc that occasionally reminds us that, hey, these two mice are a duo and something is amiss when that duo is broken up or there is a strain put on that relationship.

I’ve read that after a while, network executives at the time tried to push for these mice to settle down and have families and for the skits and the eventual spin-off to largely abandon the whole world domination thing. They wanted it to be more sitcom-like to rival and imitate shows like The Simpsons.

That obviously doesn’t work. It can’t work. The writers, especially Peter Hastings, very much pushed back against the idea. When you have a duo of characters who fit together and play off one another so well, when the basic premise of a story is of a pair of characters working together to achieve a goal, and when those characters just mesh so perfectly and basically complete one another…trying to add another main character just puts the entire story completely out of wack and/or changes it into something unrecognizable. You can add reoccurring characters off to the side, sure. You can have a nemesis or two pop up and return every now and again. But with something like Pinky and the Brain where the main story is a small pair against incredible odds working towards a singular goal, disrupting that core relationship is going to cause a domino effect that will ruin the whole thing.

All this to say that I like this approach that’s going on here much more, even if it was completely unintended by the creative team: There is the element added of Pinky, off-screen, dating someone. It’s not something that’s brought up a lot and whenever it is brought up, Brain is irritated. We’ve seen at the end of the last episode where this development was introduced that Brain is unusually snappy, and now in the next episode he continues to be angry more often than he was before. It’s a more subtle and smooth way of seeing how these characters react if something or someone threatens to come between them, in a way that doesn’t immediately break the entire premise to pieces. Of course, it helps that Pharfignewton is…largely absent for all this and is only brought up every now and again. It’s not a perfect way to explore this kind of thing, but it’s preferable when compared to something like Pinky, Elymra, and The Brain.

However, after this episode Brain’s temper begins to de-escalate, and we won’t pick back up on this accidental “arc” for a few episodes. So to folks who are maybe a little bit bummed out about his behaviour here: don’t worry. We’re getting quite the breather next time with a very odd alternate universe skit courtesy of the Warner Siblings messing around with character placement, as well as an entire Animaniacs episode devoted to a Pinky and the Brain skit…fantasy style!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Bubba Bo Bob Brain

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cloveroctobers · 4 years ago

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ROBERT “BOBBY” MCKENZIE —

IG info/bio : @/returnofdamckenzie | 426k followers | @/mclitgs2 is my forever boo🤟🏽😍 while @/cardib is my WIFE! She just doesn’t know it yet ❤️ support my work & be part of my family: @/bobbymckcares

24 (25) years young

Born in Dundee, raised in Glasgow, Scotland

Jamaican father named Badrick who is a African studies professor

Caucasian/Scottish mother named Catriona who used to be a au pair but now works as a receptionist in senior living — one eye is honey hazel and the other a dark brown

It was difficult growing up in a school that didn’t accept Bobby being biracial, it resulted in bullying to the point where he needed to switch schools (A lawsuit was also in place) The next school was slightly better but Bobby slowly learned to accept himself as it was not something he could control and not something he would want to in the first place. He was proud of where he came from and never thought he was better or less than anyone else, that wasn’t how he was raised

He’s an only child, his parents thought about adopting (and fostering) but with Bobby they had their hands full and he was just enough for them

His family is very family-oriented so he would never have to feel lonely since they gave him a lot of attention, slightly making him spoiled but he was also around his cousins & spending time with them as well

He’s extremely close to his younger cousin (only by a few months) Femi who he views as his sister. They’ve been through a lot together and are always there for each other so it only makes sense

Most likely an active kid always up to some sort of shenanigans whether it’s by himself or with his group of friends, “why would you do that Bobby?” “Don’t ask why but ask, why not!?”

Definitely suffered some broken bones, concussions, & sprain injuries but would never show signs of pain...guys got a high pain tolerance that’s for sure

Fan of films/series “stand by me” & “the goonies” & “scooby doo” since he feels they relate to his life??

Hospital caterer and loves making those feel better with food that he’s created. If he can’t put a smile on patients face with words then he feels like he can show them with food

Food is an art to him. He went to school for culinary & it’s very important for him to show how much it is to him. He picked up the craft from of course his family, who always used food for numerous of things: to bring people together is one of them

Perfected Jerk haggis, it is now he favorite dish next to desert & breakfast!

I’m struggling to figure out what sign he maybe? He’s very playful which may come off as childish at times, which makes me think of Leo? (Maybe Gemini?) Only because they usually hold onto their childhood as best as they can, very generous, & give their energy to you but I also don’t see him being a fire sign at all? So maybe very little Leo in his chart. I also feel like he might be a bit of an empath? He knows when situations around him don’t feel right, knows how to read the room, and always wants to help others by lighting things up.

Idk but I’m feeling he’s libra sun + Gemini moon + Leo rising? Who knows

Probably lived in a 2 bed flat with his old uni mate. It was small and a bit shit but it was their shit and they made the best of it

Now lives in a stone cottage or farmhouse with MC that was built in the 1900’s & is slightly haunted. He’s decided to call them Duncan??? But he believes they’re a good spirit, maybe even a friendly ghost!? since he got comfortable with the bizarre happenings in the new flat & it doesn’t seem like they want to hurt them

Lottie offered to bring her ouija board next time she visited—Bobby declined

House is mostly neutral based but three of the rooms in the flat are covered in ridiculous patterned walls or furniture much to MC’s distaste but, “what’s yours is mine” right? No. But Gary approves!

Has two dogs: a terrier & a collie since MC wasn’t down for getting a sheep

They do have chickens to raise their own eggs tho!

Definitely the kind of significant other that will ride on the cart when they’re out grocery shopping, will make you breakfast in bed, & will send you memes while he’s at home and you’re out or even when he’s at work and you’re at home, let’s you put his arm to sleep when you’re laying on it in bed (big ass head gang!), definitely chooses the candles from bath & body works that smell like food items (majority of them suck let’s be honest)

Probably smells like cucumber, melons, lemons, and eucalyptus

Has your wedding date in his IG bio & is proud

Annoys Gary & Lottie with his food pics, “oh, Not this shit again! 😡 looks brilliant, but enough!”

Has zoom/FaceTime movie nights with Marisol & MC who stopped feeling like she was third-wheeling months ago

Talks to hope & Noah (in the background) as much as he can. Feels like they’re his inspiration for love, even tho he’s the only one married out of the villa

He values marriage just like his parents do and often has Sunday dinners with them & MC ofc

Probably has relationship guide books and only reads them out of boredom but finds fascinating facts/advice if he pays attention & tries to apply it to his relationship with mc. If it works, it works! & If it doesn’t, you can’t say he didn’t try!

Works long hours but will still come home to cook for MC or brings leftovers from the events he’s catered (most are for the hospital but occasionally he’ll do other events)

Has a separate IG for his work

When WAP dropped, he almost lost his shit. Even tried to get MC to do the challenge with him, he’s pretty bad but MC eventually learned it just for him 😜

Is thrilled that Cardi made the best decision EVER on divorcing offset, “are you thinking of leaving me now?” “... I might.” “BOBBY!” “Haha, I love you!

Absolutely loves Christmas!!! It’s his favorite holiday and he loves giving back to everyone in his life. Usually he’s working overtime for the holidays & it makes him emotional due to the stories he hears & he puts a little extra love in his food

Goes all out for Christmas. Tries to buy/make everyone something. Even if he doesn’t really care for them...he’ll at least send them a x-mas card, if they keep it or burn it it’s entirely up to them—if he knew about it he’d probably be a little sad not gonna lie...he’s a soft king

Once bought Lottie black crocs with spooky pins , “are you joking Bobby?!” He knows she secretly loved them

Uses salt and peppermint in his dark hot cocoa...

Rather make deserts for Christmas than the food, he feels like it’s his duty

King of giving the thumbs up, especially when situations have gone to shit. He’ll still shoot them up with a smile or a grimace

Always inviting someone somewhere. “Bobby, hun. You’re 4-6 hrs away and it’s 1 am.” Hope groaned after listening to his bright idea, thinking something bad happened. “Ah, you could still make it if you tried, lassie.” “I’m gonna hang up now. Good night, bonkers man.”

Needs constant reminding when to get his locs touched up & moisturized

Either has a trampoline or a funhouse jumper in his backyard (maybe both) “we’ve got the space and this is better than a pool, or almost!”

Wants children, a whole footie team! There’s no specific time frame for him, when it happens, it happens

Used to cool & wet temps & loves vacationing in Greenland. Sure the hot weather he experienced in the villa was awesome & something different than what he’s used to but you can’t take the scot out of the man. So he typically sticks to places that are similar in temps, that way he doesn’t have to change his clothing choices much

Loves a good bath. Bubble baths are better than bath bombs to him, PERIOD!

Loves bubbles so much he put too much laundry detergent in the wash (does this on purpose now) and came back home to the dogs and room covered in it. Do you think he cleaned it up before MC came home? No. He decided to have a bubble party in the room with a Caribbean playlist playing in the background

MC definitely posted about it the first time & joined him for a bit, dreading the work that came with cleaning it all up. Now whenever Bobby needs a bubble party, he knows what to do. MC preferred him to have his little bubble party in the tub but 50% of the time he chooses not to listen & they leave him to pout & clean it himself

Likes to hold hands with fingers interlocked. When it’s cold and if you’re both wearing hoodies, he’ll slide his hand inside the arm of your hoodie to help keep you warm

Canon: His version of a snack is spaghetti hoops on toast & can eat that for the rest of his life & be content

If he didn’t end up marrying MC, probably finds his significant other working as a nurse at one of the hospitals he caters to or a volunteer at a old folks home

Never had a serious relationship, very few hookups, was either always placed in the friend zone or there was one person he wanted to be serious with but they rejected him and continued loving someone else who treated them like shit—so he kinda swore off of relationships and just flirted a bunch and kept his love life non-existent

Fav ice cream? Rocky road ice cream with one scoop of cotton candy & one scoop of cookie butter blue

Doesn’t believe in measuring when it comes to culinary. He uses his eyes as his measurement, could be a bad thing, could be a good thing, that’s up to you

If he’s up at night, he’s eating something sweet. A nice glass of single malt scotch whiskey + a splash of coconut milk (🤢) with a slice of angel food cake & he’s out like a light

Absolutely loves shopping for the kitchen, finds immense joy in doing so. If you lose him in a store, one of the places you’ll most likely find him is in the kitchen decor area

Owns a bagpipe & wants to get better at it, even tho he scared the living shit out of his dogs & chickens

Wears his shades quite a bit even tho the weather is hardly sunny and mainly windy & damp

Will hold the door for strangers even if they don’t say thank you

He’s open when it comes to music. Will listen to anything but feels like the music has to be a purpose for something...Everything he does in his day to day life has to feel like a soundtrack to him since in his mind he’s daydreaming about his life being made into a movie. Who isn’t?

He thinks wentworth Miller should play him in a film and that kid from blackish should play him when he was a wee lad, Marcus Scribner

Always keeps a positive attitude because he knows what it feels like to feel low and he doesn’t want anybody else in the world to feel like that so he wants to uplift and if he can try to be someone’s happiness he’ll gladly be that— which isn’t always the right move, he learned

Listens to: Rotimi, Shaggy, Sean Paul, Skip Marley, H.E.R., Jhene Aiko, Jorja Smith, UMI, The Kooks, The Killers, Cold War kids, Milky chance, Blood Orange, The 1975, Vampire Weekend, Bad Suns, BRYSON TILLER, Kilo Kish, & Ella Eyre (although he misses her old music)

Celeb crushes? Cardi B is his mfkin celeb wife okay?! Nobody else comes above her! He also thinks FKA twigs is pretty & super talented, sevdaliza!, Tia & Tamera, Iman, and brandy from the 90s makes him swoon

Anthem = jaden, “Boys and Girls”

#litg #litg s2 #litg2 #litg Bobby #litg au #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #litg gary #litg lottie #litg marisol #litg mc #litg hope #you asked and you shall receive

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wromwood · 4 years ago

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Tagged by @chiropteracupola. Thanks a lot!

Post 7 comfort movies and tag 7 people

This one really made me think. I do like movies, but I actually don’t return to movies a lot. Here are the ones that I have fond memories of, in no particular order.

1. Monsters Inc (2001)

This was one of my favorite animated movies as a little kid. Its ideas, character design, humor, and music just hit a lot of the right spots in my little brain. Even though I don’t watch it as much now, my love for it hasn’t diminished. Also, in one of the few “girl”-related memories my transman self cherishes, my parents would sometimes tie my hair up to look like Boo’s pigtails from the ages of 2-5, and I still find that really sweet.

2. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

I could never make a list like this without including this movie. My family and I adore Nightmare Before Christmas. The art style is so distinctive, forever balancing the most entertaining levels of creepy and cool. This movie also established my love and admiration of stop-motion animation. And of course, the music. Danny Elfman at his best. Overall, an amazing movie.

3. Chicken Run (2000)

This movie was also on in my house a LOT in my youngest years, and it was another movie to inspire my love of stop-motion animation. I haven’t seen it in a long time now, which is a shame, but I still remember it well. Just a silly, fun time with a slightly dark (but enjoyable) edge to it. (The pie-making machine scene always spooked me a little)

4. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982)

No, this is not the 2007 movie adaptation. Yes, this is still a strange choice of media for a comfort movie list. At one point during my childhood, when I was about 10 years old, my dad got the well-known 1982 production of Sweeney Todd on DVD and let me watch it with him. I’ve always loved musical theater, but this production really opened my mind to what musical theater can accomplish. I was instantly fascinated by Sondheim’s gorgeously ominous score, the unique swirling set design, the amazing acting and singing from the cast, and, of course, the stage gore. I was suitably disturbed by the sight of blood running from people’s throats, but I was also amazed that it could be done so convincingly (to my little eyes, at least) on stage. To be honest, the only parts I refused to watch were the last scenes, because they made me too sad. There were a good couple years where I would take this DVD with me in my little suitcase when I traveled, just so I had the chance to watch it wherever I went.

5. My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

This movie already has many good reasons to be a comfort film: it’s adorable, has amazing music and animation, and is one of Studio Ghibli’s finest. But it also has the added bonus of being a movie my sister likes. My sister and I weren’t very close when I was young. She was gone for a handful of years because she went to college in other parts of the country, and even abroad at one point. She’s also naturally introverted and a little distant, so we didn’t really play together that much. However, she loved, and still loves, Japanese media, and I inherited that from her. I knew we had My Neighbor Totoro on VHS because my sister loved it, and it made me love this movie even more. I can still remember watching it and feeling that much closer to my sister.

6. The Back to the Future Trilogy (1985-1990)

This might be cheating a little bit, but I couldn’t choose just one. I had different relationships with the three movies of this trilogy. I watched the first a lot in my earliest days of watching the trilogy, and especially on hotel/motel televisions whenever I traveled because it was just always on. I watched the second and third ones more later on, and then exclusively watched the third for a while after that because it was the goofiest time travel adventure of the three. I love them all equally, though, and they all have a spot in my heart.

7. Cannibal! the Musical (1993)

This might just be the oddest and least well known entry on the list. I first watched Cannibal! at around 13 or 14 years old, since my dad wanted me to stop avoiding South Park after it had scared the living hell out of me at age 8, and decided to do it by exposing me to Trey Parker's tamest and goofiest musical project. This turned out to be a great choice. Not only did it make me willing to watch the South Park movie, and then the show itself, but it also gave me a good movie night option to bring to college. My best memories of this movie are of watching it with my college buddies, chuckling at its charmingly awkward execution and learning its legitimately good music. After taking a couple of film classes, I also admire that Trey Parker could make something this good while in college, and that he made it outside of any class projects. I still love returning to it now whenever I need a laugh.

I don’t feel like tagging anybody, so feel free to do this if you want to!

#Tag games

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keelywolfe · 5 years ago

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FIC: Not What It’s Cracked Up To Be ch.2 (baon)

Summary: Edge and Stretch are finally getting back on an even keel. Edge’s broken leg is healing well, Spring is finally here and the flowers are close to blooming.

Be a shame if anything disturbed their domestic bliss.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Fluff, Chickens

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Chapter 1

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

If Stretch had to make a top ten list of people that he expected to find at his front door on any given day, Papyrus would be on it, but Stretch had to guiltily admit, he would have been close to the bottom of the list, just below the mailperson.

It wasn't that Stretch didn't like Papyrus, he really did, but somehow, their paths didn't cross that often. Papyrus did a lot of work up at the Embassy and spent time training with Undyne and the rest of the security team. He had his own group down at the Y like Edge did of younger kids and every year they did a nature hike out in the wilds of Ebott, down the walking path that ran behind the shopping center.

Papyrus had his own gig going on and that was fine, but it did mean they mostly saw each other on movie nights and holidays. Kinda like cousins, maybe, not that Stretch ever had any. Not exactly close family, but family, nonetheless.

Now, finding Papyrus AND Jeff on his porch? Both of them with their arms loaded with plastic food containers and cups from the Beanery that looked to be filled with gloriously caffeinated concoctions? That wasn’t anywhere on Stretch’s top ten list or even in the top fifty. That was one that might’ve wandered onto an alternate list in the AM hours when Stretch couldn’t sleep, but even then, the odds weren’t good.

Papyrus’s grin of maniacal cheer, though, that was to be expected. It was the same one Blue got going when he had a scheme up his pant leg and that made warnings prickles stand up and do the cha-cha-cha on Stretch’s spine.

“hey, guys,” Stretch said slowly, “what’s going on?”

“What is going on is we are here to see you!” Papyrus said cheerily. He shifted the boxes in his arms. “We can continue going by you letting us inside!”

“I mean, you can leave us on the porch if you want,” Jeff’s grin was less maniacal, at least. Honestly, he looked tired and also like he wasn’t about to let that slow him down. “We’ll just stand here, alone, sad and pining for the fjords, wasting away—”

“yeah, yeah, i get it,” Stretch grinned and held open the door. “come in before the neighbors get interested. they already think we’re better than netflix.”

Papyrus and Jeff trooped inside, and Stretch took a second to peek out the front door. Edge was still working diligently on his flowerbeds, so that was fine. He saw Stretch looking and blew him a kiss and maybe catching it was pretend, but the warmth in his soul from it was plenty real.

Didn’t mean Stretch missed that his loving traitor didn’t come inside, though.

By the time he closed the front door, Jeff and Papyrus had taken over the coffee table. There were several plastic containers alongside the drink cups and okay, yeah, Stretch was curious to see what largess had been brought to them. Hopefully not too much, with his cast off and permission to stand, Edge was probably itching to get back into the kitchen. He’d graciously accept anything the guys brought over, probably, and then he’d be stuck between his urgent need to make food for everyone in sight and his need not to waste any morsel that came into the house. It was a bit of a balancing act and Edge was already wobbly on his feet.

Stretch wandered over to give one of the containers a poke. “i hadn't heard the hospital cut you loose yet, Paps.

“Just yesterday!” Papyrus beamed and now Stretch could see he had a cane of his own, exactly the same as Edge’s but he was currently using it more as punctuation than for support.

Released yesterday and Stretch hadn’t even known. He could have, should have. He’d just seen Sans a couple days go and he’d asked about Red, but not his brother who was still in the fucking hospital. And what, he could send tweets out to his fans but not a text to Papyrus to see how he was feeling? Stretch swallowed hard against the rising thickness in the back of his throat. “listen, i'm sorry i didn't get up to see you at the hospital much.”

Papyrus being Papyrus, only waved that off. “Not at all! Everyone is very busy right now.”

“Yeah,” Jeff put in and there was a wealth of meaning in that single word that probably synced up to the shadows under his eyes. “I barely got up there to see you and Edge, too.”

“Besides,” Papyrus went on, “You had your own patient to handle in what I am sure was an experience that left you stronger!”

“heh, that’s one way of putting it. how’s the noggin?” The bandages that were wrapped around Papyrus’s head in the hospital were gone and all the bruising faded. The dark line of a hairline crack was still running along his parietal bone. At this point it was probably here to stay, healing magic wasn’t much good on scars, otherwise Stretch would have gotten to work on Edge’s a long time ago.

Papyrus mimed rapping on his skull with his knuckles. “Better. I am still on sick leave even though I am injured, not sick. But I am not falling down as much now so they let me go home!”

The phrase falling down had implications that made Stretch shudder, even though he knew that wasn’t what Papyrus meant. Especially after today, seeing Edge’s healing leg, all his new scars, hairline fractures, all of them, but they were still there.

Okay, yeah, a subject change seemed to be a good idea.

Stretch picked up one of the containers and gave it a little shake. “so what brings you over to see me. not that i don’t want to see you guys, but…” He gestured at the rest of the containers. “i’m seeing a plan here.”

“Yes!” Papyrus said happily. “I brought something for your chickens!"

Huh. Today was definitely going off the charts, because that option wasn’t on any of Stretch’s top ten lists. “seriously?"

Papyrus obviously had his own standards when it came to lists, because he nodded as if it were obvious. “Yes! You see, usually when you are sick or injured in the hospital because of germs or stupidity—"

“hey!”

“--i have cared for your chickens for you! this time i was in the hospital and so i brought them spaghetti!”

Impeccable logic, really. Except for one small detail.

Paps was a much better cook these days but pasta still tended to elude him. Even the mention of spaghetti still gave Stretch shuddering flashbacks of those first few weeks when they came to this universe. It’d almost been enough for him to wish they were back in Underswap.

Almost.

All the other dishes Papyrus made were more than palatable, even delicious, except for when he dug out the noodles. Much as he didn’t want to hurt any feelings, neither did Stretch want to murder his chickens by poison pasta. “um that's really nice, but, uh.”

Whatever Papyrus thought he was going to say, if there were any hurt feelings about it, he shed it like water off a duck’s back, “Have no fear! It is vegetable spaghetti!"

“Spiral cut veggies, “Jeff put in. He pried off one of the lids and held it out, revealing bright orange and purple strands. His grin was a little wry; Jeff was another victim of Papyrus’s attempts at carbonara. “We made it fresh this morning.”

Oh. They’d made it, together. For the teeniest, tiniest moment there was a twinge of stupid jealousy, bitter sharp in his soul, because Jeff was supposed to be his best friend and here was Papyrus poaching on his territory when he already had lots of friends, in a couple different countries even, pen pals and people at the Embassy, why did he need one of Stretch’s?

Then he squashed that thought like the stink bug it was; there was plenty of Andy to go around and he wasn’t about to end his week by being a dick to his best friends over veggie noodles.

So hey, time to unwrap the enthusiasm and get this chicken party started. Stretch pasted his smile back on and said, “well hey, let’s go out back! i bet they’ll be scrambling for it.”

Papyrus didn’t even groan at the pun, though Jeff booed under his breath. His smile brought new meaning to the word beaming, it really did, bright as the sun. “Let me get some plates!”

He caned his way into the kitchen before Stretch could even offer to do it for him and yeah, there was one of the ways he and Edge were alike, stubborn little shits that they were.

Stretch shook his head and turned back to Jeff to ask, softly, “how is he doing, really?”

“He’s been fine today, but he should probably sit down for a while,” Jeff said in the same quiet tone. “I had him sitting at home when we were using the spiral slicer and he was pretty good about it. Don’t let him fool you, though, the doctors told him to take it easy—”

“—and he’s not really good at following their instructions,” Stretch finished with a sigh. “yeah, i’ve had some practice with that.”

“I’ll bet,” Jeff laughed just as Papyrus returned, plates in hand. Stretch kept back any comments about what Edge might have to say about them using his plates to feed chickens. Hey, they were family, they could use the good tableware.

“I’ll bet, too,” Papyrus said, “if you two are finished talking about me behind my back! Unless you want to do it in front of my face as well.”

Yeah, there were definitely times Stretch could tell Papyrus and Edge were cut from the same cloth. Although if he ever saw Edge smiling like Papyrus did, Stretch would be checking for any other signs of the apocalypse. “nah, i think we’re good. let’s head out.”

“Oh, and we brought you—” Jeff plucked one of the plastic cups from the table and held it out with a flourish. “triple venti, iced caramel macchiato with whip and an extra shot.”

Now that was a drink and Stretch took the cup, clutching it to his chest without even caring for the condensation dampening the front of his sweatshirt.

“you are the second-best person in the world,” Stretch told him sincerely, “if i wasn’t already married to the first best, i’d be polishing up my flirting skills for you.”

Jeff only rolled his eyes, “Yeah, okay, I’ll add you to my dance card, Mr. Darcy.”

“The dating manual has a chapter on polygamous relationships if you’d like to borrow it!” Papyrus said brightly.

Immediately, Jeff’s pale cheeks flamed a bright red and Stretch felt a blush of his own warm his face. Uh, yeah, no, his love for Andy stayed above the waist, thanks. Now he was glad Edge hadn’t come inside, he’d either be annoyed or silently laughing his ass off. Either way, Stretch could live without it.

He clapped a hand on Papyrus’s shoulder, “you know what, paps, i think we’re good, but i’ll keep it in mind. c’mon, it’s a nice day and the ladies await!”

“Of course!” Papyrus followed Stretch to the back door while Jeff gathered up the containers. “Did Edge redecorate the kitchen? I seem to recall a lot less red paint splattered on the walls and also a table the last time I was here…”

~~*~~

A few days ago, Stretch spent a couple hours cleaning off all the chairs on the patio from any winter gunk left on them. He’d done it for Edge so he could come outside while he was still off limits on any marathons, just a quick scrub down and some sunshine and they were good.

Now he wondered why he bothered because so far, every time anyone came out to the backyard, they ended up sitting on the damned ground. At least they grabbed the cushions off the chairs to keep the damp away. The chickens were gabbling eagerly from the moment the sliding glass door opened and the volume doubled when they realized it was more than the usual amount of suckers to demand scritches from.

Stretch let loose the chicks and Papyrus laid down the plates, already scolding, “Now hold on a moment, there’s more than one flavor! You’ll need a serving of each for the full decadent experience!”

Soon enough the grub was out and they were all sitting on their cushions, watching the chickens feast.

“gotta say, this was a pretty good idea,” Stretch admitted. Pretty good was understating it, the chickens loved the veggie spaghetti and they were gobbling it down, switching plates at will as they scarfed it as fast as they could. Noodle let out an indignant squawk when Nugget stole a tasty looking tidbit from under her beak and ended up on the other end of a strand with Dumpling in an impromptu Lady and the Tramp recreation that ended a lot less romantically when Nugget stole a bite right through the center.

“Of course it was!” Papyrus said loftily. Then he surprised Stretch by adding, “JeffAndy suggested it.”

Stretch raised a brow bone and Jeff shrugged, awkwardly, “Julia used to make veggie spaghetti all the time and Blue had a spiral cutter, so.”

“i haven’t seen blue for a few days.” Stretch fumbled into his hoodie pocket for his lighter, the metal smooth and cool under his fingertips. “how’s he doing?”

“Good. Busy, like all of us,” Jeff said. He took a drink from his cup and it left a slight whipped cream mustache on his upper lip that he licked away. “Think everyone will be glad when Edge is back full time.”

“yeah.” The lighter flicking through his fingers wasn’t enough suddenly and Stretch pulled out a pack of cigarettes to go with it at the same time he nudged Papyrus with an elbow. “and how’s your bro doing?”

“Very well!” Papyrus plucked up a far-flung piece of spaghetti and tossed it back towards the chickens. Dumpling all but snapped it out of the air. “He’s packing as we speak!”

“packing?” That was about the last thing Stretch expected to ever hear about Sans. He and Papyrus were the only brother pair still living together and Stretch would have put good odds on the that only changing if Papyrus moved out, and even then, Sans might try to crawl into one of the suitcases. Sans packing up was serious levels of gossip that he was missing out on.

Papyrus nodded. “Yes! Now that he and Red are betrothed, he is moving in! He didn’t want to leave at first, but I told him I would have someone stay with me until I am fully recovered!”

Betrothed was a weird way to describe that relationship and Sans actually moving in? Made Stretch wonder what’d happened that day when Sans carried Red out of the kitchen, not that he’d wanted to be a fly on the wall or anything. Maybe Red liked to play the spy guy, but Stretch had enough nightmares as it was. If he ever had to hear Red in throes of orgasm, he’d scrub the inside of his skull with a toilet brush.

“not undyne.” He couldn’t imagine her staying away from Alphys, especially not while she had a bun cooking in the oven.

“No, no, your brother!”

Stretch was in the middle of lighting his cigarette and sucked in too hard, coughing the smoke back out. His brother was staying with Papyrus? When did that happen? He was starting to feel more and more like Dorothy when she first stepped off the tornado.

“okay, hang on,” Stretch rubbed a knuckle between his sockets where an ache was starting to form. “can i get a timeline on this?”

“Of course!” Papyrus ticked off on his fingers. “First, Red gave Sans a betrothal collar.”

That choker he’d been wearing, with the heart-shaped buckle. Not at all the sort of thing he’d expected to be Sans’s taste, it’d been cute when Sans was more, ‘wear whatever fell on me today’. “is that what that was?”

“Oh, yes, Red told me that collars hold great significance in Underfell!”

“did he now?” Stretch said softly. Nope, that didn’t sting, not one little bit. His soul wasn’t at all lurching in his chest, rising up to settle painfully under his clavicles.

“Very much so! A betrothal collar is a promise and a warning.” Papyrus leaned in, his voice lowered conspiratorially to a level just below a shout. “More people probably need warnings about Sans.”

“you’re probably right.” Honestly, he should probably be wearing a sign.

“So he got his collar and told me. Then I told him he needed to move in with his fiancée and he said, ‘whoa, bro, don’t know about that you’re still pretty banged up and all.’”

Stretch couldn’t help grinning. He had to admit, that impression of Sans was pretty bang on.

“and I told him I would find someone else to stay with me and I asked your brother and he agreed!” Papyrus finished triumphantly.

He glanced at Jeff, who’d moved his cushion to be downwind of the cigarette smoke. “what about andy, thought you and blue were playing roommates.”

“I’m moving in with Antwan,” Jeff admitted shyly. He toyed with the laces on his shoes. “I mean, for now anyway.”

Normally, Stretch would have been squealing to hear that because hello, about fucking time. But from the sounds of it, if he wasn’t the last to know about all this, he was pretty damn close. “this all happened in the past couple days?”

Papyrus glanced at him. “If we are measuring by linear time, then yes.”

“always did prefer linear. helps to keep things straight. hey, congrats, andy,” Stretch said belatedly. Really belated, seemed like if this news was days old.

“Don’t congratulate me yet, Antwan hasn’t had to move my comic book collection,” Jeff laughed. But from his pink, pleased face he was pretty excited and why shouldn’t he be, he was moving in with his guy, Blue was moving in with Papyrus, Sans moving in with Red. All kinds of stuff going on that no one gave Stretch a call or text about it. Not that he blamed them, not really. He wasn’t being much of a good big brother lately or cousin or friend or whatever else the fuck he pretended he could do. Made him wonder how he was doing as a husband, since he was so shit at everything else.

The chickens were done mangling every speck of the spaghetti and Nugget wandered over to peck at the string on Stretch’s hoodie hopefully. It hadn’t turned into food for her the other hundred times she’d tried it, but that never stopped her before, especially since now it looked like her last treat. Stretch crushed out his cigarette and gave her a hopeful nudge, and she settled into his lap amicably, clucking happily as he smoothed a hand down her feathers.

Noodle was taking refuge in Papyrus’s lap, crooning for her own pets that Papyrus obediently provided. “Your chickens are very nice.”

“We’re lucky Edge isn’t here,” Jeff chuckled even as he coaxed Dumpling over for scritches of her own. “They think he’s the next coming of Chicken Jesus.”

Papyrus frowned. “I wouldn’t think that chickens followed Christian theology.”

It was always hard to tell when Papyrus was sincere or when he was fucking with you, and Stretch had a feeling he was being bent over today. “nah, these ladies are nondenominational.”

“If one must have a harem, one of chickens seems a good choice!” Papyrus said thoughtfully. “There are the eggs to consider.”

“a harem, why would---never mind.” Stretch decided he really didn’t want to know which way Papyrus’s brain was twisting today, he had enough of that with his own.

“By the way,” Jeff said as he struggled to keep Dumpling from attacking his shoelaces, “now that Edge is feeling better, I should probably tell you that your brother’s freezer is filled with bags of grapes.”

“grap..oh.” The grapes from Edge’s garden that he’d been picking when…well. When everything. He’d honestly forgotten all about them, that whole day was pretty much a suckhole of shit that he didn’t care to ever repeat. Even thinking that made Stretch feel a little queasy, knocking him even more off balance while he was trying to catch his equilibrium. Stretch let out a little laugh and if it sounded a little shrill, neither Jeff nor Papyrus noticed. “you froze them, really? when did you even have the time?”

Jeff shrugged, which meant it was probably after work, maybe even at the end of that long, horrible day, and he’d been exhausted and done it anyway. He really was a good friend, better than Stretch deserved.

“i’ll let him know.” Stretch rubbed Nugget gently under the chin and she cooed happily. “and hey, thanks for stopping by with the spaghetti for my girls and letting me knows what’s up with the nearby world.”

“Wish I could say it was my idea,” Jeff said. His smile was a little lopsided. “I’ve missed hanging out. With everything that’s going on, Papyrus thought maybe you were feeling a little out of the loop. He said not being at work makes him think it’s Sunday when it’s Wednesday.”

“yeah, he’s got a good point.”

“I usually do,” Papyrus said modestly.

The sliding glass door opened then, and Edge stepped out. Immediately the chickens abandoned all laps and ran to him, and usually Stretch thought that was cute as fuck, but today, it was an extra scoop of abandonment on top of his cone of salty guilt.

Edge crouched and gave each of them a quick pat, “Hello, everyone. I only wanted to check if you two are staying for dinner.”

“No,” Papyrus said, somehow managing to look sad and elated at the same time. “Blue is planning a welcome to my home dinner for me tonight!”

“I can’t either, Antwan and I haven’t done anything but sleep in the same bed for the past week. We’re planning take out and time together.” Jeff scrambled to his feet with a groan, stretching, “We need to get going, anyway.”

Edge nodded, like none of this was news to him. Maybe it wasn’t, Stretch really was the last to know everything. Even about betrothal collars and Stretch twisted the ring on his finger, feeling the delicate swirls etched into it with the tips of his fingers. The metal wasn’t cool like his lighter, warmed by his own bones.

It only took a couple of minutes for Jeff and Papyrus to gather up the empty containers, and Stretch got the plates, setting them next to him on the ground.

“see you guys later!” Stretch called as they went through the gate. He got waves in return and then they were gone.

Edge sat down on the cushion next to him, stretching out his leg brace in front of him as he nudged it closer than Papyrus had. Close enough for him to settle his own hand over Stretch’s and he couldn’t help wondering if that was to keep him from reaching for his cigarettes again. He was supposed to be quitting and that’d fallen to the wayside at some point, supposed to be seeing Alphys about his HP, when was the last time he’d done that? So many fucking questions today and Stretch wasn’t sure about some of the answers.

“Just you and me tonight then, love,” Edge said. His thumb grazed lightly across Stretch’s knuckles and he noted absently that he’d changed his gloves. These ones were worn soft, comfort gloves, like some of Stretch’s sweatshirts, and he didn’t know why Edge needed comforting.

“yeah, just you and me,” Stretch agreed softly, and when had that become less of a delight.

He really was losing his touch because Edge gave him a narrow look almost immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“nothing,” Stretch said, and he forced lightness into the word, “think i’m just a little tired, we had a lot going on today.”

Edge hummed softly in agreement, “Why don’t you take a nap?”

“take one with me?” Stretch offered and he knew from the split-second of hesitation on Edge’s face that he wanted to say no. Which, of course he fucking did, he just got his cast off, he was probably wanting a shower or maybe even a bath, give those newly scarred bones a good scrub before he went to do all the other shit he couldn’t do last week. “you know what, never mind.”

“Are you sure?” Edge asked, because of course he did. He always put Stretch’s happiness first. Like it was something Stretch actually deserved and that was a shitty thing to think and Stretch knew it, so he was stopping that right now.

“yep,” Stretch forced a yawn. “if it’s just me i can sprawl out.”

“Me being in the bed has never stopped you before,” Edge said dryly. But he lifted Stretch’s hand and kissed his knuckles, right over his wedding ring, the one Edge gave him when he promised to love and cherish him, and Stretch was gonna knock it the fuck off thinking about anything with collars or Underfell. Edge loved him and he knew it, he didn’t need anything else.

Not a damn thing.

~~*~~

Read Chapter Three

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #by any other name

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stimmypaw · 4 years ago

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stimmypaw reads the apprentice’s quest, a blog post

A big one, just a bunch of thoughts as I’m reading it, of course, lots of spoilers for the first book in the Warrior Cats series A Vision of Shadows. This will be covering just the first book tho, it’s all in the Read More, let’s gooooooo!!!!

Vision Of Shadows time

Lots of new cats!!! I don't remember these guys as kits or anything wrow!!! I like their names but itll take a while to get used to them

Also cant believe they printed stormcloud's dead name

Omg there's a cat named beepaw

I love these cats all of them so much im going 2 cry

All new names are perfect

I FORGOT HOW GORGEOUS THE CAT VIEW IN THE RECENT BOOKS WAS, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

I'm glad leafpool smokes weed

I love reading from Jayfeather's point of view, his grumpiness hasn't grown on me ever but thats just me, I still enjoy it lots he's great and its fun

Firestar and Leopardstar's characterizations are On Point i love it

OOF i feel so bad when jayfeather is mean to others, poor kestrelflight, I love those two

Lovely Jayfeather moments now its time for the first chapter

I like this duo! Also I didn't think I'd ever say this but shut up squirrelflight one can have fun AND learn with their mentors

Sparkkit sounds nice she makes jingling bell noises when she walks around

Alderkit is chadphobic /j

I can see Alderkit taking deep breaths to relax its rotating in my mind its beautiful

God this first chapter feels so good and comfortable, like eating noodles and chicken nuggets. I am so so deeply in love with it, its gorgeous!

Sparkkit is so perfect too, and Graystripe remembering Firestar aaaaaa

DUSTPELT SAID WHAT? PHDHAHAHHA OH NOOOO I don't remember their relationship much, must have been fun, I love young little creature squirrelflight I MISSED HER SO BAD WOW

I started reading the second chapter and died, I think ill take a break now 2 sleep heehhee

I love them describing twoleg stuff its always so fun and alien, like watching an animal planet show about funny sea creatures.

Also I have determined sparkpaw is my favorite, might be my favorite cat ever next to hollyleaf??? I really identify with her and also she's autistic i have decided that

Alderpaw baby noooo hhhh their mentor at least is trying to show its okay, he seems very emotionally distant so far and alderheart feels very emotionally needy, actually both of them do, did I mention I love Sparkpaw??? I might be imprinting myself 2 much on her

I love how like, its clear both of them are absolutely anxious and worried about others opinions on them, which is clearly something they got from being Firestar's grandkids, deputy kids and leader kids. And bramblestar too, I recall him being quite the anxious lad ahhah. Sparkpaw will be showing confidence and being loud but the second anyone isn't approving of her or she does something "wrong" she gets small and quiet, and she ended up setting a high bar for herself by being good at hunting and fighting so I'm curious to see how that will go. Also there's nothing wrong with being guided through a crowded place to meet others Sparkpaw!!! I bet the two of them would be stuck without not knowing how to talk to others had Needlepaw not shown up. I love them, my gf is mocking me saying I'm a Sparkpaw kinnie.

Apprentices will like learn about a thing and tell everyone about it all the time and assume its always true in every situation and thats valid I love kids like that. Also in my head Needlepaw kinda looks like a porcupine. Oh boo she's fatphobic >:(

I love apprentices they are so fun and silly, just making fun of the leaders like its nothing. The way they are clearly learning and absorving everything their warriors say and do like sponges its just ***chefs kiss***

Omg shadowclan is just full of 12 year olds help

And then the old person said "it sure is hard being old!" And everyone clapped

Shout-out to pretty Riverclan apprentice #481977 I love her

Leafpool: 👁👁

Alderpaw: I knew it im cursed and awful and terrible and I will never amount to anything

I wish the cats didn't seem to be giving up on him so easily though

Ah yes the classic thunderclan move "you suck, into the medicine hole you go"

The way sparkpaw changes the things she says and how she does when it isn't the status quo around her oooooooooooooyeaaaaaaa I love 1 autistic cat

Alderpaw considering your problems lesser than other cats won't help you deal with them better bro

I love Needlepaw's excitement about Alderpaw being a medicine cat apprentice, and her sarcasm, she feels like a preppy teenager

Ahhh this is so good, I am so thirsty for family moments like this, just Alderpaw bonding with grandma, I’ll definitely want to draw this one it’s so sweet.

Oh to be young and silly.

I really am enjoying like, Alderpaw’s struggles to seeing how he fits in the clan, how he fits in himself, how he wants to be seen and what he wants to be, it’s really good. I Am Engaged(tm) With This Plot.

SPARKPAW NOOOOOOO but also Yes I want her to be shown vulnerable and weak please

POP, god watching this stuff always awful, the cats must have thought he broke her ahahah

Also, really great that they learned from Dovewing and now like leave choices and discussions about prophecies between adults

And plus Brambles seemed to take the time to explain stuff to him, seems he wont be going alone either the 1 thing is that he will be the only one knowing what the journey is really about, why though??? I didnt read Firestar's Quest or whatever why does Skyclan need to be secret??? Seems quite silly really!

YESSSS SANDSTORM GET HIS ASS FIGHT FIGHT LOVE THIS LOVE SANDSTORM

I could feel squirrelflight nearing explosion here, this was very fun, i wish they werent hiding this though!!!

The secret thing is showing to be a plot point so I am once again Very Engaged

Also, wonderful dialogue bit, someone asked Bramblestar why an Elder is going and:

Lovely perfect perfect

I miss you dovewing

SQUIRRELFLIGHT LOVE YOU

Oh boy this is it

Traveling book moment

Graystripe: Soooo you're excited to go on the journey to the old territories and Skyclan?

Sandstorm: Yes! It's been ages and-

Graystripe: I'm sure the tribe will love the visit too

Sandstorm, groaning: Oh noooo I forgot about how the tribe is in the way of every journeyyyyy noooooo they're such a racist caricature, please tell me you have a plan

Graystripe: Yes don't worry about it the writers forgot about the tribe in my comic book so you can just use the excuses i did to actively avoid it

Sandstorm: Oh thank Starclan

Sparkpaw's desperation to prove herself oof, her anxiety with understanding the prophecy, oh boy, and Alderpaw feeling too overwhelmed by the questions and not managing to talk!!!! I am so glad they are both autistic

Hoping "Being Leader" wont mean theyre putting nonsense responsibility on the apprentice again

Ah good Sandstorm is on the lead again, as she should, she should have been leader she would have been great

I can't believe Alderpaw thinks I look stupid and diseased :( /j

Everything about this twoleg scene was scandalous I loved it, Sparkpaw just toppled over a trash bag and they are eating from it, iconic, also did those twolegs throw out a whole turkey? Damn

Its not that Sparkpaw is freakishly good at hunting she is very hungry and constantly on the watch for things to eat

BRO Ive never been in a road where the drivers are this wild, throwing bottles out of the car????? Ive seen Fruit being thrown like once or twice, what the fuck!!! I'm glad they are going to wait until the morning to continue

Okay I was not expecting Needlepaw to show up this girl is chaotic I love her

ACTUALLY YEAH WHY DIDNT THEY TELL THE OTHER CLANS ABOUT THIS SINCE THE PROPHECY IS ABOUT ALL THE CLANS???

Needlepaw is like Rono from Bambi 2 if he wasnt a mean bully and thats very epic

Very curious character though, how come her mentor isnt teaching her the warrior code properly? Is that an issue with all apprentices?? Is the clan overwhelmed by 12 year olds and they won?

Having lots of fun trying to play the game "what animal are they describing this time" the erins made here, im glad they're in a farm. Worried about Sandstorm though :c

Fuck im worried about sandstorm a lot, her wound hurt on Me

Yeah water is good youre right sandstorm

Aw man I hope she's okay let her at least survive to meet skyclan please

NOOOOOOOO SANDSTORMA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sandtteooonrjrbbbmmnnnnnnnnnn

I am so sad

Alderpaw denying it, Starclan shining upon their vigil, everything crushed me i cried

Alderpaw considers Nihilism

Haven't seen a cat thank starclan for prey in a while its

Oh look they time skipped a journey! They don't tend to do that thats nice

I'm so excited to be meeting The Skyclan that everyone in the fandom knows now

So far they seem kinda mean but thats most clans at first glance really

Okay somethings up

I uh have heard of Darktail pretty sure he's a bad guy so yeah something really bad happened to Skyclan

Am worried

Darktail sounds like an evil himbo* i may be enjoying him actually

*himbos are usually nice by default so he's just evil and stupid and strong

Does needletail know these cats already?????

Shit

Oh okay fuck

I've been quietly reading the rest because I am just concerned and I want them to be okay as quickly as possible

Waterfalls are a classic nice

Oh boy time for our unlikely duo of Alderpaw and Needlepaw to get out of a Mess!

I did not expect this to end up with the two of them journeying into parenthood, but I'm happy it did

Well actually I'm very unhappy theyre so lost and there's no sign of Skyclan I am very worried for everyone involved Sparkpaw must be feeling awful!

Twigkit is a great name

Yeah this ended terribly

Overall! Frigging loved it this book was GOOD and a great start for the series I am very excited to read the rest, SO WORRIED ABOUT SKYCLAN THO AAAA the characterizations were great the characters were great the pacing was fun and I didn't get bored once!

I think o only wish I had read this sooner really so I could look up others thoughts without getting heavily spoiled about the last books, I can watch a few videos already though thats a start ahhaha. But yeah it was great and it felt very good to read, haven't swallowed up a book so quickly in a very long time!!! Very happy I finally got my hands on this 💕💖💕💖💕💖 cant wait 2 start the next one

If you read all this, hope you had fun hahaha, ill be making more of these cus theyre fun and I like talking about warrior cats thats just my thing

Til next time

#wc #the apprentice's quest #warrior cats #a vision of shadows #avos #warrior cats avos #avos wc #wc avos #avos warrior cats #warrior cats a vision of shadows #alderpaw #needlepaw #sparkpaw #violetkit #twigkit

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