#but I also see how true it can be for other minorities even more now)
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^ I think that's exactly it. Ethnicity is an ancient concept: a group of people joined by shared ancestry, but also, just as importantly, by culture, language, historical memory, and almost always by religion -- at least until quite recently in human history (and still to a certain extent, even within universal religions: most of Europe is Christian, but different ethnicities tend to be associated with different sects (Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant of various flavors); and the relatively small presence of Islam in Europe (before recent migration) has been strongly connected to the Albanian and Bosniak ethnicities). Different peoples had different gods; that's just how it was. Ancient empires would sometimes force conquered peoples to worship their conquerors' gods, but that didn't necessarily mean they had to give up their own gods (unless, as with Judaism, their religion didn't permit them to worship or even acknowledge other gods, which was a recurring problem in ancient Jewish history).
The spread of universal religions like Christianity and Islam (and Buddhism, though that's less relevant to this specific discourse) has weakened the connection in many people's understanding between ethnicity and religion. Some people in the West may even think of ethnoreligion as something "backward" that needs to be overcome. Of course, Leftists would never say anything like that about the traditional religions of the various groups indigenous to Africa, the Americas, Australia, or the Pacific Islands; they're very happy to apply the anthropological term "closed practice" for those religious traditions (and misapply it, to the extent that I've seen people on here say that just learning about these traditions, with no intention of trying to adopt them, is impermissible cultural appropriation).
Much as the recent dominance of universal religions has obscured the global predominance of ethnoreligions for most of human history, the recent theoretical and political hegemony of the concept of race has obscured the historical ubiquity of ethnicity as one of the most important units of social organization. In the Western, and especially the North American imagination, an "ethnicity" is, at most, a less important sub-unit of a race, something that maybe used to matter once but doesn't anymore, now that the significance of race has subsumed it. That seems roughly true in U.S. history: whatever inter-ethnic prejudice existed against Germans, Irish, Italians, Slavs, etc. dissipated as each ethnicity was subsumed into the umbrella category "White"; Native American tribal rivalries have fallen by the wayside as they have all had to make common cause against White colonial oppression; European enslavers made no distinction among the various West African ethnicities that people sold into slavery belonged to, and the enslaved people themselves were also forced to set aside inter-ethnic conflicts to form communities; and more recent Black immigrants from Africa and the Caribbean experience the same anti-Black discrimination as Black people whose ancestors have been in the U.S. for centuries (at least, to a certain extent), and gradually integrate into Black American culture. In the U.S., race is the primary organizing unit of society, and Americans have trouble understanding the historical importance of ethnicity, and its continuing importance in many parts of the world. They look at inter-ethnic warfare in Africa and see "Black on Black violence" (and often fail to see, e.g., Chinese or Arab oppression of ethnic minorities at all); they assume that because it doesn't involve White people oppressing brown people, there's nothing we can or should do about it, and the blame must ultimately lie with the former European colonial rulers, because if not for them, all of the brown people would be living together in harmony in their Garden of Eden as they surely did before White people came along and fucked everything up (again, I have literally seen people on here saying things to that effect).
(Putting the rest under a cut, because this is getting reeeaally long...)
Jewish identity makes no sense to a world organized by race. The Nazis framed Jewish identity in terms of race, emphasizing the biological over the cultural or religious elements -- though as racists always do, they also pointed to elements of Jewish culture and religion as evidence of racial "inferiority." The dominant Western framework of race divides the world into a few very large groups by geographic region of recent ancestral origin, ignoring ethnic divisions, which are all conceived as internal to racial groups; and as it happens, most are. But the Jews have been dispersed from our original place of origin for so long that the ethnic group crosses racial boundaries. There are Jews who have lived in Europe for centuries and look (for the most part) like White people; Jews who have lived in Africa for centuries and look like Black people (most prominently, the Beta Israel of Ethiopia); Jews who have lived in various parts of the Middle East/SWANA for centuries and look pretty much indistinguishable from the local predominantly Arab populations; Jews who have lived in India, China, and Central Asia, and look like the local populations in those places, too. And of course they do: if they hadn't intermarried with the surrounding populations, the lack of genetic diversity would have been fatal. Out of one side of their mouths, anti-Israel Leftists call Jews "inbred," while out of the other, they say we don't have enough of an ancestral -- read, genetic -- connection to the Levant to have any claim to indigeneity. Would they rather we were even more "inbred"? Oh wait, no, they would rather we had just died out. And if we produce genetic evidence of Middle Eastern ancestry to rebut their claims, they accuse us of doing "20th-century race science."
How can a group of people that have lived all over the world and belong to many different racial categories be an ethnicity, if an ethnicity is understood as a subdivision of a race? If Western Leftists acknowledge the existence of Jews of different races, they can only understand Judaism as a religion, because of course religions -- which to them means universal religions like Christianity and Islam (which Judaism is NOT) -- can cross racial boundaries. More often, however, they assume that all Jews are exactly like Ashkenazi Jews, who are generally the only type they've ever encountered; to them, "Jews of color" means only converts from other races, or the children of recent marriages between (White) Ashkenazi Jews and non-Jewish people of color.
The existence of converts also confuses them: you can obviously convert to a religion, but how could you convert to an ethnicity, which, if understood on the model of race, would involve the impossibility of converting your genetic ancestry? But that's not how ethnicities worked in the ancient world, either: if an outsider chose to live in the community for the rest of their life, to adopt its language, culture, and religious traditions (typically because of marrying a member of the community, but not necessarily), then for all intents and purposes, they came to belong to the ethnic group of their adopted community. Blood, or genetics, is only one of many aspects of the transmission of ethnic identity, while for race, it's the whole ballgame. Sure, some people can "pass" as a member of a different race, but according to the logic of the concept of race, they're always "really" a member of the race they were born into.
Now, the rules of hereditary transmission of race membership may vary depending on the race in question, and the goals of the dominant culture that has constructed it. The Nazis -- famously inspired by the Jim Crow laws of the American South -- applied a variant of the One Drop Rule to Jewish identity -- a logic which is intended to maximize the number of members of a racial group, sometimes to maintain a large enough underclass to meet the demand for cheap labor; in that case, to more carefully "purify" the blood of the German nation (and also generate a larger pool of property that could be confiscated). But Western Leftists, when considering the question of Jewish indigeneity to the Levant -- which they consider identical with the question of whether the Jews have a legitimate moral claim to the land (ask me about the stupidity of that assumption some other time) -- always seem to apply the logic of Blood Quantum (understandably, since that is the logic that has historically been applied to the indigenous inhabitants of North America), which is intended to minimize the number of a racial group, in the hope that they will effectively disappear without the nastiness and bother of having to slaughter all of them. It has always bothered the hell out of the dominant Christian European and Muslim, mostly Arab societies in which Jews have lived for centuries that we have refused to disappear -- much as it has bothered dominant white American society, and the U.S. government, that indigenous communities and cultures refuse to disappear and become a relic of a doomed, tragic history -- and on that point (with respect to the Jews), the political Left has been no different than the Right, from Enlightenment philosophers of the 18th century to the Soviet Union in the 20th century to the "decolonial" Left of today.
Idk how to start this post, but it seems a lot of goyim's train of thought regarding "jews are a religion not an ethno religion" seems to stem from "well nazis believed jews to be an ethnicity and whatever nazis believed is evil, therefore Judaism must only be a religion"
And this is seen a lot in unpacking race theory, which is good as race theory is bad and everyone should be unpacking what they were taught through it, however you cannot just designate jews as a religion and disregard how we view ourselves in the wider conversations surrounding ethnicity and religion.
Because not only is it bad as it leads to a harmful misunderstanding of Judaism and jews, it just create a new race theory framework where jews are yet again harmed.
And this doesn't just apply to jews, it applies to every other ethno religion that exists. Excluding ethno religions from your world view when unpacking race theory, just creates race theory 2, which is still very bad and leads to ethno religions being persecuted. And the only way around that is to uplift and listen to voices from those who are part of ethno religions, which people don't seem to want to do.
#the disk horse#jewish identity#judaism#jewishness#jewish#jumblr#ethnicity#ethnoreligion#race vs. ethnicity#philosophy of race#leftist antisemitism#left antisemitism#leftist hypocrisy#anti-zionism is the anti-colonialism of fools#i'm determined to make that a common expression#israel/palestine#i/p#all queued up with nowhere to go
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I'm going to be honest fellas, I do hope that the pro-hamas people would wake up soon and realize how harmful they have been to jewish people (especially in the diaspora), but I really doubt it.
And what hurt the most is a lot of these people who were close to me pretended to listen and take in what I said, but then would rt the most anti-semetic dogshit you can find on the internet. I realize no matter how much I talk, how much I try to extend knowledge and express what's happening here, my words will always fall on deaf ears.
Me and so many other jews have been helping to other minorities, always there to learn and listen and try to raise awarness to many social issues - but the second a jew speaks up about what they experience it's "propaganda". We can't even mention dead relatives or friends because somehow it's us "playing the victim" - it's always "your pain is valid" until you're jewish.
And it would be one thing if people were honest, just saying straight up "yes I'm anti-semetic" and we could have been spared so much pain - but it's the fact that some people would end years long, sometimes a whole decade long, friendships because suddenly it's not convenient being friends with jews. Suddenly, it's trendy to say that a terrorist organization is actually freedom fighters (but somehow they only fight for the freedom of their leaders having billions of dollars, funny how that works).
And maybe these old friends of mine will wake up one day, and realize that things went awry, but even if they reach out to me again (and I say again because someone almost woke up from the propaganda until it swallowed them again) - I do not want that hand extended towards me, as I don't feel safe being friends with people who instead of trying to understand - jumped to conclusions without even fact checking once.
And for all of those trying to understand how so many leftist activists got radicalized so fast - their activism comes from a place of wanting to hate someone, rather to show love and support to someone.
#kuki.txt#(I remember once a popular black creator said 'why do y'all only support us when we suffer and not during our victories'#and even back then I knew she was 1000% right#but I also see how true it can be for other minorities even more now)#ישראבלר#כי אתם היחידים שבאמ�� מבינים את החפירות שלי באמת כפרות שלי#(also still can't get over the one bitch who called me a baby killer on her secondary twt while sending me funny tiktoks)
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i’ve seen a lot of posts talking about nimona’s queer messages which is great! but ive not seen as many posts talking analyzing how both ballister and ambrosius were changed to be asian, which is a shame because i genuinely think its one of the most important parts of the film! a huge part of it is a deconstruction of the model minority myth and respectability politics, both of which are big issues in the asian american community. both of them represent each side of the spectrum, with ambrosius expected to be superhuman with very little support and ballister being seen as less than human, no matter how hard he tries- a monster.
ambrosius (who is now east asian, like his voice actor eugene lee yang, who is korean with chinese and japanese ancestry), despite being in a seemingly powerful position as head of the knights and a descendant of gloreth, he isn’t really given the kind of support that this position needs- he’s constantly undermined and belittled by todd, the face of the other knights, and when asked about his emotional state by the director, represses his emotions rather than talk to her about his true feelings. this is very similar to how asian american students in schools aren’t given the support they need academically by teachers and administration, as the model minority myth leads to them being perceived as more intelligent and competent than their fellow students and therefore not needing support. he’s also held to a higher standard than any of the other knights, being immediately placed into a position of power despite just being knighted, again a reflection of the model minority myth, since asian americans are held to higher standards unfairly. despite being technically better off than ballister, he has no support, no friends, no way to seek help for his problems, and, just like ballister, is immediately thrown away the moment the director thinks he’s served his use.
ballister is now pakistani, like his voice actor riz ahmed (no, not like pedro pascal. where did this come from lol), and i’d go as far as to say that he is also, if not explicitly muslim, heavily muslim coded as well. he’s framed as a terrorist by the white, christian institution, and from then on, it doesn’t matter how good he tries to be- everyone else sees him as a monster. he’s also from a lower socioeconomic class than ambrosius and the rest of the knights- while this is initially used to frame him as a success story, after he’s framed, it’s used to cast suspicion on him. almost immediately he’s othered, with posters casting him as a foreign invader sent to destabilize the city, much in the same way that muslim immigrants are seen in real life. even when he tries to be peaceful and good, it’s always twisted so that he’s the monster of the story. while ambrosius is held to too high of a standard, ballister will never be enough for the institution to accept.
which is why both of their arcs culminate in them breaking out of the system, learning to accept what they’d been taught was monstrous, and leaving behind respectability. it’s a genuinely great commentary, and i can definitely see why riz ahmed and eugene lee yang were chosen for this, as they’ve both done activist work for their communities.
#nimona#chatters#another analysis post i made at two am and then put in my drafts and forgot about LMAO#anyways i forgot to actually write a conclusion but shut up this isn't school i don't have to conclude SHIT#ballister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin
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Imagine female Yuu having to cross dress to avoid unnecessary trouble at NRC and Idia finds out through Ortho. Because I can see Ortho finding out if Yuu ever got a minor injury and he was around to play nurse, knowing him he’d do a quick full body scan and find a very high amount of estrogen in her system.
And he blabs to Idia because he’s a snitch who doesn’t keep anything from his brother; if you tell a secret to him, you’re basically telling it to them.
Once Idia finds out, his mind INSTANTLY goes to those otome games and fanfics and gacha life videos about a girl in all boys school. He always thought those were just fun fantasies, but upon seeing that exact scenario happening in real life he becomes curious.
Prior to this, Idia probably wouldn’t think much about Yuu. To him, she was just the odd magicless guy his brother would occasionally run into; the most interesting thing about her was her cat, in his eyes. But now that he knows about her secret, he becomes heavily invested in her school life, he wants to see how this is going to turn out.
He doesn’t exactly stalk Yuu, it’s not like he’s putting cameras in Ramshackle or listening devices in her bag, it’s more like he just pays extra close attention to her when he has the chance, such as during joint classes and lunch. And since Ortho and her are on amicable terms, he encourages Ortho to spill any gossip he learns when around her.
To Idia’s surprise and delight, things end up matching up almost perfectly with what he’s come to expect from these kinds of plots. The ones close to Yuu, who seem to be privy to her secret from what he’s gathered, are all either falling in love or have already been in love. They’re extra protective of her, they’re affectionate and soft with her, and they get jealous when she gives too much of her attention to any one of them.
Idia knows about the overblot incidents, so of course he’d see the pattern in who starts getting closer. Every time someone overblots, Yuu will be there to help and both the overblotter and some other select people in their dorm will begin to fall. It’s a classic pattern.
At this point, Idia would simply see himself as an observer peeking in on this story and, therefore, he can’t be affected by Yuu. He’s not a love target in her story, he’s a side character.
It doesn’t matter that he’s occasionally run in with Yuu and each time he has she’s been a true friend to an introvert like him by making his anxious ass feel comfortable. It doesn’t matter because he’s aware of what’s happening and thus he can’t be affected.
But then he also overblots, and just like before she was there to help pick up the pieces. After that they ended up talking and Idia gets to know more about Yuu, more than he could learn by just observing.
Before long, he’s actually looking forward to seeing her again, to nerding out about his favorite anime’s with her in person because she’s always such a good listener. He’s looking at his manga and game collections and thinking about what she would like.
Idia doesn’t even realize his hearts been skipping beats when she’s around until one day when he’s in class and she walks in. Like a dog hearing their owner walk through the front door, his gaze shoots up and instantly that class gets fifty times more bearable with her around.
…And then he looks around and every other “main character” has had the same reaction.
Which means that he’s also a captured love target, just like them…
Oh how the turn tables for a dating sim loving nerd like himself
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x yuu#fem yuu#twst yuu#twst mc#idia shroud#ortho shroud#twst#my rambles#I just love the idea of being freaked out cause#he didn’t expect to be a love interest too
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two geniuses (playing love)
masterlist!
synopsis; feelings flourish in between the two of you as you’re forced to act as a couple. could a kiss finally let the two of you understand what was really going on underneath your supposedly hatred? you’re scared to find out.
cw; +18 content! minors dni!!, guns, shots being fired, girls being bitches, bickering, lots of teasing, so much flufffffff, spencer and reader being confused, pining, neck kisses, making out (their first kiss!!), violence, guns, shots being fired, spencer gets flustered a lot, also gets a boner… (so much more that i probably can’t remember)…
“so what do we know about this unsub?” hotch asked, all of you were sitting on the police station around the table, trying to understand this killers motive.
“well, we know his killings evolve around y/n.” morgan stated the obvious, to what you sighed.
“stalkers may exhibit a range of psychological issues, including personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and delusional disorders like erotomania. stalking behaviors can also be influenced by insecure attachment styles rooted in childhood experiences.” spencer added, and you nodded.
“erotomania is a delusional disorder that makes a person believe the person of their infatuation hace reciprocated feelings or love and affection, when they don’t. it may even be a person they’ve never met. they might even be famous, like a politician or an actor. people with this disorder can be so sure of this love that they think they’re in a relationship with this person. they may not be able to accept facts that prove otherwise. it is also called de clérambault syndrome, and it’s rare. it can happen on its own. but it’s usually linked to another mental health condition, like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. it can last for weeks or years.” you recited as if you were reading it off of a book.
“you two are like an encyclopedia.” emily smiled, chuckling.
“so this killer will go to the extreme of killing for you if needed.” jj nodded.
“seems like it.” you answered.
“he also seems pretty possessive and protective of you. he seems to have noticed spencer too.” morgan pointed out.
“you think he might think we’re dating?” you inquired with disbelief.
“it would play to our favor. if our profile around him is right, he might not be able to control the need to stay quiet about it and take action.” gideon said, what made you scoff.
“so what now? we should hold hands and act like a happy couple? fuck no.”
“y/n.” hotch scolded you.
“i’m sorry but that’s not gonna work. if none of you have noticed, spencer and i don’t really get along.”
“shocker!” emily sarcastically said, to what you squinted your eyes at her.
“come on guys… i can’t be the only one who doesn’t see this working out.” you tried to make up their minds and spencer pitched in.
“yeah. and to be honest i don’t want to become the unsub’s new target.” spencer pointed out.
jj stepped in. “it's true that your relationship has been strained, but you're both intelligent individuals. i’m sure you can put aside your differences to sell this lie. it's not about whether or not you like each other; it's about stopping this unsub at all costs." you listened to her words, groaning. she was right. you needed to stop acting like children and work together to catch this unsub.
you looked at spencer, who was already looking at you, communicating with a nod.
“you’re right.” you sighed at jj. “i guess it’s the only way, huh?” you gave in.
hotch stepped in, a flicker of relief crossing his face. "good. now, let's think through the details. we need to create a plausible backstory for your relationship, make sure your body language and interactions are believable, and be prepared for any curveballs the unsub might throw at us. this isn't going to be easy, but I have faith in both of you, and I know you can make this work." you pinched the bridge of your nose.
“how should we… how should we act around each other?” you inquired, cringing internally.
rossi answered “for your relationship to appear authentic, you'll need to display a certain level of intimacy and affection.”
“holding hands, touching each other frequently, being in close proximity… you can't come across as distant or awkward, as that would immediately raise suspicions.”emily added.
“you need to convince the unsub that you're truly in love with each other." jj finished and you scoffed.
“well that’s gonna be easy…” you sarcastically said, bracing yourself for what’s about to come.
-
his hand is warm, big engulfing your own. and clammy. spencer is nervous, awkward, you can feel it as you two walk through the beach, the light breeze hitting your skin, the salt engulfing your lungs.
you two have not said one word since you’ve left the headquarters, not on the way back to the hotel, or when you moved your things into his room, or on the way to the beach…
silence. total and absolute silence.
this was your new reality. to play fantasy with the person you hated the most. to act as if only love was what stood between the two of you and not this immense hatred that gnawed at your insides.
“did you know that by the amount of germs a hand holds it’s actually safer to kiss?” he asks, and his voice sounds hoarse by the silence he has buried himself in.
you hummed. “does that mean you’d prefer me to kiss you instead or hold your hand?” you asked, and he choked.
“what? no! no, what i meant is… i just…” you chuckled.
“relax, reid. it was a joke. i want to kiss you as much as you want to kiss me.” you rolled your eyes. “you’re so tense that whoever saw you would think im holding you hostage and making you hold my hand.” he scoffs.
“sorry. it’s just… awkward.”
“tell me about it…” you sighed, leaving your beach bag down onto the sand. “i think this might be a good spot.”
“for what?” he inquired, letting go of your hand.
“we’re supposed to be on a date, reid. doing things a couple does. you know�� watch the sunset, spend time together… all of that.”
“oh.” he muttered. “yeah. that makes sense.” he nodded, watching you take out a couple of towels to spread them across the sand.
“gonna help me or stand there watching?” you chuckled, and he quickly moved to help you, muttering a ‘right, sorry’ that made you laugh internally. who’d know spencer could act like this? embarrassed and coy in front of you?
then he sat, book in hand. of course. “seriously? you’re gonna read right now?” you inquired him and he looked up at you.
“why not? the beach is one of the most relaxing places to read.” he shrugged, and you shook your head, pulling from your beach dress to get it off, leaving yourself on a blue bikini.
his eyes trailed down your sun kissed skin, the sun was setting, giving you a golden hue that made you shine.
“come with me.” your words took him out of his mind, his eyebrows raising as you offered him your hand. “come on.” he seemed suspicious, but again, he had to trust you if this lie was gonna be bought. and so he took your hand and got up. he tried not to think about the fact that your body was mostly exposed, and about the feeling of your soft smaller hand on his bigger one.
you let him go once he was up on his feet, and he took off his shirt, leaving him on his swimwear.
“so i wasn’t actually hallucinating it the last time… where were you hiding that?” you teased him, looking at his soft but toned body. he rolled his eyes.
“stop looking at me.”
“why? does it make you nervous?” you rose your eyebrows. “do i make you nervous, spencer?” you leaned in and he took a step back.
“no. i just don’t like it.” his nose scrunched up and you hummed.
“yeah, right.” you rolled your eyes, giving him your back to start walking towards the shore.
“no. really.” he followed you with a frown, feet fast behind you.
“it’s okay, spencer. your little crush on me it’s cute.”
his eyes widened. “what?! i don’t have a crush on you!”
your feet met the water and you walked in. you heard his splashes behind you as the water met your knees. it was just the perfect temperature.
“you’re dumb.” you said while facing him once again. and he gave you an incredulous look.
“i’m not dumb! why would i be dumb?”
“because of this.” and with a quick movement you were maneuvering him into the water, leaving him splashing your thighs and tummy. you laughed at his glare and shocked expression, his pretty hair now mildly soaked. “god. reid. it’s the second time this happens to you. you don’t learn!”
“you think this is funny, do you?” he asks you, looking up at you.
“definitely.” you nodded, still chuckling, your chest heaving up and down with ragged breathing.
“yeah?”
“yea-“ but before you could finish he was grabbing your hand and pulling you down into the water with him. you froze as you fell on his lap, water splashing around the two of you.
“well, check who’s in the water now, huh?” he was laughing at your shocked expression and damp face before he noticed the position in which the two of you were in, his laughter dying quickly enough.
his eyes met your body, wet in droplets that slid down your chest and navel towards your hips submerged in the water and on top of his. he swallowed at the feeling of your soft weight on him, the swell of your chest right in front of his face, centimeters away from his lips. the curve of your neck… your hair falling over it and down your collarbones… the warmth of your hands on his shoulders, the softness of the skin of your hip under his unconscious grip.
you looked down at him. at his messy hair that had started curling due to the salt, at his thin yet toned build, his heaving chest, his sharp jaw, his hazel puppy eyes, his long lashes… the way he was now looking at you…
“uhm…” he cleared his throat. and the spell in between the two of you broke. you shook your head.
“i should probably…” you pointed at your back, trying to gesture that you should get up, and he nodded, pulling his hands away from your body.
“yeah. yeah.” he nodded, and you used him for leverage to get back on your feet. it was awkward. the tension in between the two of you as he too got back on his feet, neither of you looking at each other. the sun was setting.
“i think i’m gonna… go read.” you nodded.
“yeah. okay. i’ll… i’ll meet you there.” he copied the shaking of your head, and after a couple of seconds in silence he staggered in turning around and getting out of the water. you only went in deeper, submerging your head under the waves, where there was no noise, and no thoughts clouding your head. no doubts. although you could still feel the vivid heartbeat of your heart, crashing harshly against your ribs.
spencer tried to focus on his book, but as much as he’d like to not admit it, his eyes were zeroed on you.
-
“okay…” you hummed. “ursa minor.” you pointed at the sky.
the sun was long gone, and yet, spencer and you still were on the beach, lying on your towels, admiring the map of stars above your heads.
spencer took his turn, pointing just a little bit far away from your constellation. “ursa mayor.”
“now that’s and easy one.” you rolled your eyes teasing him, and he couldn’t help but copy you.
“okay. what about… camelopardalis?” he pointed it out in the sky and you hummed.
“now you’re just showing off.” he groaned.
“oh, so now i’m showing off?” he smirked and you nodded.
“yeah, come on. you could have just pointed out draco. instead you chose camelopardalis? you’re a show off.” he chuckled.
“okay. maybe i just wanted to shut you up.” he shrugged and you laughed.
“now, that’s not easy.”
“tell me about it.” he mumbled. “hey look. it’s saturn.” he pointed it out, it shining more than a normal star.
“and mars.” you said, pointing it out as well.
“and dwarf planet 1 ceres.” he added and you looked at him with your eyebrows raising.
“you’re bluffing.”
“i’m not!”
“yes you are, reid. that planet can only be seen with binoculars. you wear glasses!”
“how do you know that?” you laughed.
“caught you!” he rolled his eyes.
“okay. maybe i memorized tonight’s sky map, so what?” you chuckled at his response.
“you’re a nerd.”
“yeah? well so are you. what’s your iq, 170?”
“177.” his eyes widened. “what?”
“i mean. i knew you were intelligent. but we almost share the same iq. that’s… that’s impressive.”
“was that a compliment, doctor reid?” you smirked.
he shook his head with a smile, scoffing. “no.”
“it was though.”
“it wasn’t.”
“it totally was.” your bickering caused him to laugh.
“you’re insufferable.” he groaned, and you smiled.
“i know.” you two rested in silence, looking at the sky. “this isn’t so bad…” he looked at you. “i mean, sure. i don’t like you. and acting as your girlfriend totally sucks, believe me. but i thought it would be worse.” he hummed.
“you have a way of complimenting someone and at the same time insulting them that is fascinating.” he said, and you chuckled. “by the way… what time is it?” you took your phone.
“almost one am.” you answered his question.
“we should probably get going.” he muttered and you rose your eyebrows.
“you want me back into your bed so soon, reid?” he scoffed.
“you really like to assume those kinds of things. in the end i’m gonna start thinking you’re the one who wants me in your bed.” your eyes widened.
“fuck no!” you said while getting up from the towel, and he smirked up at you.
“you sure?”
“of course i am.”
“then why are you avoiding my eyes?” he got up to stand beside you, a smirk on his face. you wanted to punch it out of him.
“i’m not.” you scoffed.
“but you are.” your skin rose in goosebumps as he stepped closer, your breath hitching when he took your chin and made you look up at him into his hazel eyes. the moonlight made them shine. and for a moment you forgot that he was teasing you, playing with you.
“i don’t want you in my bed.” you said, straight into his eyes, pushing away his touch. he smiled.
“okay. i’ll believe you.” you looked away from him as he started gathering his things and put on back his shirt. you wondered why your cheeks were burning. why your heart was racing.
he put your beach bag over his shoulder. “let’s go.” and even though your body jolted underneath his touch as he took your hand to guide you down the shore back to the hotel —and you reminded yourself that this was all part of the lie you were playing—, you let him.
-
“how are our lovebirds?” garcia asked through the phone and you rolled your eyes.
“would be better if you’d catch this guy now…” you said, and heard snickers from the other part of the line.
“he’s behaving, isn’t he?” morgan inquired and spencer frowned.
“what?! what do you mean behave?” you shushed him.
“he’s not being so bad… usual reid.” morgan laughed. “any news on the unsub?”
“actually, yeah.” jj said. “we caught him lurking on the beach you guys visited, but he was far from our reach. seemed pretty angry.”
“so he’s getting closer…” you nodded.
“he seemed to buy into the lie of the relationship.” spencer hummed and you nodded.
“you guys need to keep it up. if our profile is right he will not stand still and watch, he’ll confront the two of you soon.” hotch said.
“alright. we will.” you promised.
“we’ll keep in touch.” emily said before the line went dead and the two of you looked at each other.
“what should we do now?” he inquired.
“go to the pool.” you smiled and he groaned. “come on. he needs to see us.” you said while getting a bikini and entering the bathroom to get changed. once done you got out and found him with a pair of red trunks. “now that’s the spirit.” you smiled and he rolled his eyes. “come on, reid. the sun is up and shining for us. time to sunbathe!” he took some of his books and his sunglasses, following after you out of your room and though the hallways of the hotel until you two were met by happy squealing and laughter from the children enjoying their time in the pool, splashing each other.
you two took a sun lounge each, his umbrella staying open while yours stood shut as you applied tanning oil to your skin after getting rid of your shorts. spencer kept his summer sheer shirt, laying sat up straight in the sun lounge as he quickly went through the pages, reading 20.000 words per minute. you laid on your own, bathing in the warmth of the sun as it prickled your skin.
you were enjoying the tranquility until some shadows took over your sun. you peeked your eyes open to see three girls standing over the two of you, sweet smiles on their faces as they stared at your right. more like… at spencer.
“hey.” one of them caught his attention, and his hazel eyes pulled away from his book towards the blonde.
“what are you reading?” a brunette asked him next, and he stuttered just the slightest before answering.
“uhmm… anna karenina. it’s from leo tolstoy from 1878. it deals with themes of betrayal, faith, family, marriage, imperial russia, society, desire, and the differences between rural and urban life. it’s actually my second time reading it. this time in the original russian.” he spat out, babbling as the three girls listening. more like ate him up with their eyes.
“you’re cute.” the third and last girl, another blonde smiled, and spencer’s eyes widened.
“could i get your number?” the brunette inquired him and you sat up straight, slightly clearing your throat, what made them look at you. “and you are…?”
you smiled. “his girlfriend.” spencer looked at you scandalized, what almost made you laugh. “i mean i get you guys…” you said with a smirk, leaning over him, your chest pressing against his as your arms circled his neck. his breath hitched as you hummed, looking at him before looking back at the three girls that now stunned looked at you. “he’s just too cute, isn’t he?” you took his face with one of your hands, making his lips pout out. he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and widened eyes. you smiled at him, his cheeks flushing at your words and the way your body just pushed closer against his. “but he’s mine.” you crooked your head towards the girls. “so if you don’t mind…”
“actually i do mind.” the brunette said. and your eyebrows rose. “i don’t see your name branded on him.” you slowly pulled away from spencer, getting on your feet.
you smiled softly at her. spencer didn’t like it one bit. you never smiled. not like that. “what’s your name?”
“ashley.” she answered, and you saw spencer getting up get beside your from the side of your eyes as you gave her a once over, your eyes landing on her pool heels. he was cautious, he knew something was wrong. sweet intelligent spencer…
“i like your shoes.” you started, simple, and she looked confused at you. “you gonna… be able to run in those?” you inquired.
“what?” and before she knew what was happening you were launching yourself towards her. good timing spencer was fast enough to catch you in between his arms as her friends pulled her away, running from you with ‘let’s go!’s.
“yeah, that’s more like it. see you, ashley!!!” you said while fighting spencer’s tight hold on you. “bitch…” you murmured when they got lost into the hotel. he let you go when you had seemingly calmed down and stared at you.
“what was that?”
“what? she was being a bitch.” you shrugged and got back to your sun lounge.
“no. i mean. what was that?”
“reid. i’m supposed to be your girlfriend… don’t you think that’s how a girlfriend would act?” you inquired him, and he looked around, scratching his nape.
“i mean, yeah but…” you cut him off.
“then it’s settled.” you said before closing your eyes and getting back with your sun.
he stared at you, still in shock and with flushed cheeks. his mind got filled with images and moments from the last days; you in the pool the night you’d thrown him in, how you had teased him, how your lips had almost touched his, last night at the beach when you had fallen on top of him… and now… seeing you that way, had done… things to him. things he didn’t want to accept. his whole body was tense, his heart was stuttering, his eyes whole face was red, and his stomach was feeling bubbly and… well. okay. no. enough.
he cleared his throat and sat down beside you, retrieving his book, trying to dismiss the knot in his throat. he looked at you. at your slowly tanning skin, the shine it had due to the oil you had bathed yourself in, your beautiful curves accentuated by the white bikini you’d gone for today, your soft features, your long lashes, your plump lips, your soft jaw, the soft skin of your neck, your…
when his eyes dropped too low he looked away, clearing his throat.
he tried to go back to the russian, but he was flustered. after minutes of trying to get back in focus, he gave up, getting up and pulling his shirt off, what caught your attention.
“where are you going?” you inquired.
“i was gonna go for a swim.” he pointed to the pool, and you sprung up.
“i’ll join you.” you smiled, and his heart stuttered at the recurring memories of that night in the pool. let it go, spencer.
following him into the water, you sigh at the fresh feeling of it engulfing you and making your overheated skin find solace.
spencer dampens his hair, pushing it backwards in a slick manner that exposes his strong cheek bones. but it’s when you finally stop staring at him that you notice it.
his breath hitched when your arms surrounded his neck, pulling him closer, your chest pressed against his as you spun in the water.
“what are you doing?” he inquired you, his hands subconsciously grabbing your hips. to push you away? to pull you closer? who knew…
“your twelve o’ clock. i think it’s our guy.” you muttered in his ear swiftly, smiling at him as if you were absolutely smitten, playing with his hair. spencer looked just for a moment. it was a white male, in his late thirties, wearing glasses and a cap, staring straight at the two of you with clenched fists.
“he surely doesn’t look happy.” he muttered to you, pulling you closer. “looks like it might be him.” you hummed. “what should we do?”
“well you should definitely act like you love me.” you smiled, cupping his cheek. “like this…” you looked straight into his eyes, and his breath hitched. if he didn’t knew better you’d have fooled him, ‘cause you were looking at him as if you craved nothing else, no one else but him.
you almost chocked when one of his hands found your hair, his breath pressing against your neck just before his lips did. “does this work?” he inquired you, pressing another chaste kiss on the sensitive skin.
you had to come and get back your trail of thought, ‘cause he had stolen it away just that easy. it was unnerving.
“you tell me. you’re the one facing him.” you whispered, and he hummed against your skin. you had to pretend as if it y didn’t send shivers down your spine.
“he’s just staring.” he stated.
“he wouldn’t dare do something with this much people around.” you figured.
“or maybe he just doesn’t want to taint his image before you. he wants to meet you in the perfect way, perfect place, perfect time.”
“what a romantic…” you rolled your eyes.
“he’s moving.” spencer announced.
“leaving?” you inquired and he nodded, his soft stubble scratching your neck and making you shudder in his arms.
“seems like it.” once out of sight he let you go, and you looked away from his eyes, the imprint of his hold on your hips still lingering on your skin, his kisses still burning your neck.
“he won’t be able to hold on for much longer...”
you nodded, fidgeting. “i’ll… i’ll go tell the team.”
“yeah. okay.” spencer copies your shake of head, and you got out of the pool, his eyes training on your back and down your body before he caught himself staring, quickly looking away and pushing his hair back anxiously. he could still feel the softness of your skin, smell the coconut tanning oil you’d lathered yourself in, remember how right you’d feel in between his arms, taking whatever he gave you…
he sighed. get it together reid.
but he had to spend a while in the water to properly calm down before making his way back to you. this was gonna end badly.
-
dinner with spencer was easy. it was a warm night. and he looked good. with a blue button up shirt and white pants along with his brown shoes. it was easy to talk to him, even easier to let him pay and let him walk you by his hand through the hotel and into the gardens of it. it was so easy to live this lovers lie that it terrified you. the moon and stars were shining bright above your heads, and the silence that filled the distance in between the two of you was as comfortable as it could get.
that was until he was breaking it to stutter about theories of the universe. theories you already knew. but for once you decided to keep quiet and listen to his rambling, enjoying the way his eyes sparkled with knowledge, the way his lips curled into a smile with every little fact that spilled from them…your heart was hammering inside your chest. it has been since the time in the pool. you were scared he could feel your heartbeat by how tight he was holding your hand. you’d come to understand that he wasn’t that bad. sure, he sometimes could get under your skin and make you lose your temper, but spencer reid could be as soft as a feather when he wanted to, and that made it all even worse. you were used to his narcissism, to his hatred, not to his ‘love’. was this how he really was or just another lie? just another façade? you were haunted by the feelings that this side of him flourished in your body.
“there’s someone following you.” since the spotting in the pool, the team had made sure to give you an earpiece each to communicate with you in case of emergency. jj’s voice made spencer’s waver, but to play along he just pulled you closer and continued with his theories. “seems like the man you told us about, y/n.”
you two slowly stopped walking, looking at each other as he kept talking, waiting for orders.
“he stopped. he’s just… watching.” emily announced and you inquired spencer and the team.
“what should we do? he’s not gonna come to us that easily…”
“reid, kiss her.” hotch ordered and his eyes widened, breath hitching and his hold on your hand hardening.
“what? no! i’m not going to kiss her!” he whispered-yelled, completely astonished.
“the physical contact will drive him to approach you both. we’ll be right there.” morgan chirped in, trying to convince his friend, soothe his anxiety. but spencer wasn’t scared of the unsub. he was scared of you. terrified. terrified by how good it felt to have you this close, to hold your hand, to see your smile, to share time with you… he wondered if this last thing would make him crack. would make him understand that it wasn’t hatred all along. he wasn’t sure he was ready to know the truth.
“there must be another way, i-“ he tried, but you groaned at his hesitation, taking the matter into your own hands.
“for the love of god, reid.” you grabbed at his curly hair, and in a tug, you pulled him down against your mouth. he froze at first, surprised, in shock at the soft feeling of your lips against his, at the feeling of your chest tightly pressed against him. but then it all completely changes, he can’t get enough. he cupped yor face in between his warm hands and pulled you closer, until there was no space between you two, something he must hate, but only finds himself enjoying. you gasp into his mouth and he takes the opportunity to push his tongue inside, pushing you against the wall of the hotel, devouring you as if he had been waiting years for this moment. you were air. and he was drowning.
“slow down…” you breathily moan against his lips, and he groans.
“i can’t.” he confessed.
the kiss that follows is just as desperate and harsh, your tongues dancing around the other as he kisses you like you’re everything he’s ever craved. you feel him press against you, and the feeling of a bulge on his crotch surprises you.
“you seem to be enjoying this a little bit too much, reid.” you said with a smirk as you felt his growing erection pushing against your thigh to find solace, some friction, anything to make him feel better. he’s losing control, he knows. but he looks into your dazed eyes and he knows you are falling just as hard. he hopes the fall doesn’t hurt as bad as his heart right now.
“i hate you.” he muttered against your lips.
“say it like you mean it.” and before he could kiss you again, the sound of a gun being loaded sounded.
“get away from her.” a male voice filled your ears and spencer stepped away from you, leaving you cold, confused and in need of more you thought you’d never crave. “get away!” he repeated pointing at him with the gun.
“okay, okay… calm down…” he softly said, taking a couple of steps away from you.
“how do you dare touch her?!” he screamed. he seemed scattered. “nobody should touch her. she’s mine!”
“no, she’s not.” spencer said just as morgan knocked the unsub to the ground, a shot being fired, the bulled burying itself inches away from you on the wall. he was quick to reach out for you as you looked down at yourself. “are you okay?” he inquired, taking your face, inspecting it.
“don’t touch her!” the man screamed again as you nodded.
“easy!” morgan yelled as he cuffed him up.
“yeah… i’m alright.” you muttered and spencer nodded, looking right into your eyes. you could still see his flushed cheeks, and his swollen wet lips, could see traces of you left behind. you wanted to taste him again. and again. and again. until the only thing you could remember was him and his lips, and the feeling of his body pressing against you.
that night. something changes. and it scares not only your bones, but your soul as well.
-
#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid angst#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid comfort#spencer reid cm#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!readr#cm#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds
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It’s been clear that the Tanizakis aren’t siblings from the very beginning
here’s some evidence now that it’s been confirmed canon…
everyone who’s read irl Tanizaki’s book knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves
BUT just because the Tanizakis aren’t siblings doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable about them. if you feel uncomfortable, GOOD. that’s exactly what they want
the Tanizakis, Mori— they all use these disturbing ruses to disarm or distract people in order to protect themselves, or to accomplish their goals. this is a writing device that asagiri commonly employs as a way to parallel the irl literature (it’s actually ingenious)
there are 4 main indicators that have always made it clear to me that Junichiro & Naomi are not siblings:
1. most obviously— their character designs. Harukawa is extremely intentional with character designs, & she very intentionally made Naomi & Junichiro look nothing alike
their eye shapes are purposely different
their color palettes are contrasting
even their differing styles of clothing have meaning
this was all done so that the audience could PLAINLY see that they’re not related— so that WE know that they’re lying when they say they ARE related
2. how the people around them respond to their act.
the general reaction is “don’t question it”— which is exactly what they want. “be distracted by how uncomfortable you feel so that you look away from what we’re hiding” (this is likely a protective measure)
3. most importantly, this is meant to parallel irl Tanizaki’s book “Naomi,” where the main character Joji picks up Naomi to raise her into his ideal woman, but since she's so young (& a minor) they call each other cousins (Joji makes no sexual advances on young Naomi btw)
however, his plan backfires because when Naomi gets older & they get married, she flips the script on him & manipulates HIM so that he's under her thumb (which is why bsd Tanizaki is at a domineering Naomi's mercy). Joji let her have her way because of his masochistic tendencies
4. lastly is the emphasis that Asagiri and the Tanizakis themselves put on calling each other siblings.
over & over, it’s “my brother this” & “my sister that”
like they’re desperately trying to convince us that it’s true (“don’t let your lying eyes deceive you”)
here are just a few of many examples from the light novels…
again, if you’ve read “Naomi” you knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves
just like if you’ve read irl Mori’s works, it’s clear that bsd Mori isn’t a pedophile
just like if you’ve read No Longer Human you know that Dazai’s an unreliable narrator. he makes you think he’s a bad person bc he believes he’s a bad person, but those around him see him differently (btw this doesn’t mean he’s never done anything “bad,” though bsd isn’t about morality— but that’s another discussion)
anyway, i’m so excited for the Tanizakis backstory to be revealed so that we can better understand why they use this defense!!
also let this be a reminder to READ THE LITERATURE if you’re able to!! even reading synopses & analyses of the coordinating books makes bsd make much more sense 🥹
reminder that this how you’re supposed to react while reading bsd:
also, if you’re interested in a post explaining how Mori isn’t a pedo, i wrote this analysis on twt. OR you can read this document that one of my moots sent me (remember: analyzing a character does NOT mean you condone any actions they may or may not commit!)
#i hope this makes sense. i’ve had this in the drafts for months but was too scared to post it#i’m hoping now that it’s confirmed canon there won’t be as much backlash ^^’ pls be kind#darcy this is for you… i hope you like it :’)#also full disclosure i haven’t been able to read all of Naomi yet. mostly synopses & analyses. so don’t take my summary of the book as law#also hopefully now people won’t ignore the Tanizakis anymore!! not only are they so interesting. they’re also just fun characters#Naomi is so underrated & intelligent. i need more of her teaming up with Dazai#rambling about bsd again#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd meta#bsd analysis#bsd tanizaki#bsd naomi#naomi tanizaki#tanizaki junichirou#tanizaki siblings#bsd 118
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dating on airplane mode. | part one.
( Read on AO3 )
Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 3.9k Summary: So you're dating your neighbor who also happens to be a sex hotline dom named Levi Ackerman. Stranger things have happened, right?
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - alternate universe (modern), slow burn, eventual smut, sex work, neighbors au, newly established relationship, dual pov, the direct sequel to Press Four For More Options Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics submitted for @levievent 's #levimonth24 / day 22: neighbors
part two. | masterlist
“I'm seeing someone.”
Tea goes flying — metaphorically and physically.
When he confessed a new (and very unexpected) development in his (borderline nonexistent) dating life, Levi hadn’t anticipated Hange Zoe turning directly towards Erwin Smith to unleash a devastating spit-take attack to the face.
It’s a direct hit.
Erwin heroically takes the brunt of the damage, so at least his furniture is spared.
(Levi didn’t need to spend the rest of the afternoon scrubbing down the already scrubbed-down living room.)
Hange’s shout is shrill, the realization hitting them like a full-throttle freight train.
“You’re what?”
“He said he’s seeing someone,” Erwin answers in monotone before Levi can even try.
The tall blonde extends a hand to leisurely grab the napkin cradling the bottom of his tea saucer. In true Erwin fashion, he doesn’t even blink at Hange’s dramatics — or their consequences unto him.
He raises the napkin to blot the side of his face sprinkled with a mixture of freshly-brewed lavender tea and Hange’s saliva.
(Then again, Hange could abruptly bang pots and pans in the middle of the night and Erwin would merely call it a minor inconvenience to his sleep routine.)
“No, no, I heard what he said,” Hange recovers with a crack to their voice, “but I can’t tell if he’s messing with us.”
“I’m not,” Levi flatly states.
“Okay, but how do we know?”
“Hange—”
Except it’s Erwin intercepting once more. “Because he would never pretend to have a significant other when one of his closest friends happens to be you.”
Hange squints, pushing their glasses up the bridge of their nose.
“Why? ‘Cause I joked that I’d stalk him the next time he finally found a date? That was one time, Erwin.”
Erwin rolls his neck to the right, offering Hange a pair of thick, disbelieving eyebrows.
“Technically speaking, Zoe, you threatened to stalk either of us if you caught even a sniff that we could be in the midst of a romantic pursuit. Plus, we’re well aware of the disguise kit collecting dust in the trunk of Moblit’s car.”
An instant shit-eating grin passes across their lips.
“Ha. Fair.”
If Levi’s eyeballs could roll any further into the back of his skull, they’d get stuck.
“However,” Erwin adds, those bold blue eyes flickering back towards Levi, “it doesn’t explain why we were in the dark until now. At the very least, we should hope you would feel safe enough to confide in us about someone you are serious about dating.”
Yeah.
Out of his two friends sitting across from him, Levi figured Erwin would be the most suspicious of the surprise announcement.
Now that it’s been a few days since That Fateful Night, he doesn’t feel as self-conscious to confess his new reality.
It was as good of a time as any to rip the proverbial band-aid off.
(Besides, it was only a matter of mistakes before his friends learned the truth for themselves.)
Hange, Erwin, Moblit — they’re his only remaining connections tying him to this city. The others from his gym days have all found offers in other towns, returned to their old homes—
Moved on.
Meeting Erwin Smith in boot camp changed the trajectory of his life, for better or worse.
Levi had known the man longer than he knew anyone else — but only by a few days and some change, considering he was destined (Hange’s words, not his) to meet the hyper scientist and their subdued partner, Moblit, in the army as well.
Then, as if attached to the hip, all four of them agreed to work at Erwin’s gym.
When that fell through, Erwin found the Scout Services Hotline.
.
.
— —
.
.
The announcement came to him one summer evening with a printed job description and a six pack of beer.
Levi assumed Erwin’s confession on taking a sex hotline job had been one weird, shitty joke.
Picturing stoic, pragmatic Erwin Smith telling people how to fuck themselves in their bedrooms late at night for the almighty dollar felt obscene.
Hell, it was obscene.
Levi didn’t want to consider his oldest friend in such a compromising position, but there it was laid before him without shame or fear of judgment.
Becoming a part-time sex worker for Erwin was as noncommittal as taking up a fleeting niche interest — like exotic bird watching or crocheting sweaters for fucking cats.
“At the gym, we improved upon people’s lives,” Erwin had told him while sipping his beer, staring out to the city sightline from Levi’s balcony. “Who has the authority to say this job isn’t doing something similar to those who may be lonely?”
“You would make yapping on a damn sex hotline prophetic,” Levi scoffed in return. “Selling some shitty porn script a dozen times a night sounds like the closest you could get to Hell.”
“I disagree,” Erwin argued without heat. “When I interviewed, they stated every employee is given the ability to do as they please. To show their strengths and make it their own.”
“Bullshit.”
“It isn’t.”
Erwin rested the beer bottle on the knee of his trousers.
“Flexible work hours give me the ability to find another place the gym can call home. The pay would certainly cover any initial costs after several years.”
“Several years?”
Levi frowned, sitting up straighter in his chair.
“Erwin… c’mon. Just take a second to listen to yourself.”
“I’m only offering a chance for you to do the same. You may not be fond of people, Levi, but you’re loyal to a stubborn fault.”
Erwin gave him a sidelong glance.
“I know you won’t put in applications to go to any other gym.”
“Tch.”
A dismissive sound was all he could muster at the time.
He always hated how Erwin could open the cavity of his chest and put his damn bleeding heart on display.
“Who says I haven’t been window shopping to pass the damn unemployment time?”
“I wish you would,” Erwin replied with a heavy sigh. “Your skills are better when in use, not lying waste with the rest of us.”
“Hange and Moblit’re doing just fine.”
Hange, a self-proclaimed babbler, returned to Paradis University to make headway on some fascinating research projects side by side with Moblit.
It was where they belonged, really.
“Fine, then lying waste with me.”
After a beat, Erwin slid his hand across the space between their chairs and held out a slip of paper.
"Look it over. Really sit down and think about what you did for our fighters and see where I’m coming from. You have a knack for leading. Of making people believe in themselves at their lowest."
He made it a point to stop. Stare.
Levi bit his tongue, meeting his friend's stern gaze.
"Conventional or not, you would still be helping people. Even if it’s a job for a month, at least you’ll be putting a hell of a lot of money in your pocket. It's better than waiting for my signal to move on.”
.
.
— —
.
.
The bastard was always great at a rousing speech.
That night was the night Levi plugged in the damn website and read the job description.
By morning, he had submitted his application for a part-time hotline employee that included an .mp3 file auditioning his voice.
Erwin must have told his boss that he had a life-long friend possibly interested in the position, because by that night?
Levi Ackerman had a job.
A night turned into a month.
A month turned into six.
Six to a year.
Suddenly denying begging, pleading people from their chased orgasms became as second nature as completing an Excel sheet.
Yet nothing else changed.
Levi still kept to himself.
Considering the friend group worked odd hours — Erwin with his own clientele, Moblit working towards his Masters, and Hange testing the scientific project of the week at the same university when unsupervised — it was easy to.
Wake up. Work out. Eat. Run errands. Clock in for work. Clock out. Eat. Sleep.
Repeat.
Routine.
Hell, a lot of his life worked like a well-oiled machine until you showed up.
Now his world is slightly spinning off-axis, and he knows:
Without talking to his friends about his (uncharacteristically selfish and) impulsive decision, everything could very well go up in flames.
(Because when it comes to sticking matters of the heart and Levi Ackerman in one room, the former never walks out.)
After a pregnant pause in this three-way stand-off, Hange leans in, pressing both hands onto the tops of their thighs.
“So when you say you’re seeing someone, you mean like… romantically?”
“As opposed to what?” Levi flatly asks.
“Well, seeing someone could mean anything, especially for you,” Hange reasons. Levi’s eyes narrow when Erwin gives that short huff of air through his nose like he’s stifling a laugh. “You could be seeing someone about finally fixing your dryer.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m just saying, romantically isn’t the first idea that comes to mind!”
“I have to agree with Zoe,” Erwin finally states, shifting his blue eyes to Levi’s. “You never mentioned that you had met someone in our group chat, and you haven’t made any changes in your schedule that suggest otherwise.”
Levi can’t help but scoff.
“Oh, so now you’re following Hange’s goddamn Google calendar?”
That fucking calendar.
The ‘we’re so busy but we can’t lose touch just because the gym went under’ calendar hastily made at two in the morning and sent with a declaration of war if no one accepted the invite.
All four of them did.
(Then again, Moblit didn’t have much of a choice.)
“I check on occasion,” is Erwin’s short rebuttal, before sitting up straighter. “But the former argument stands: you didn’t tell us that you were dabbling in the dating scene.”
“Wouldn’t really call it dabbling, Erwin,” Levi huffs, picking up his tea cup by clawing the rim of the ceramic. “Shit just kind of happened.”
“Uh-uh,” Hange interrupts. “We’re not playing coy right now, Levi. I want details: name, height—”
“Occupation,” Erwin agrees.
“Where they’re from.”
“If they have siblings.”
“Do they live near here?”
“If they’re allergic to cats.”
An involuntary grimace passes over Levi’s face.
“Ooh! We also need to know if they like tennis,” Hange adds excitedly. “Don’t trust someone who likes tennis, spectator or player. They’re always too put together with an underlying layer of batshit crazy.”
Erwin halts mid-sip of his tea.
“...I like tennis.”
Hange’s thumb and middle finger sharply snap. “Exactly.”
Enough.
Levi hastily pushes his black fringe out of his eyes with his free hand. “I— No, Jesus, can we stop speculating about her?”
“Why?” Erwin challenges.
“Because I told you what you needed to know,” Levi challenges without tripping over his words. “And I’d prefer to keep the rest of myself.”
“Ah, her.”
When he turns his attention to Hange, there’s a wicked glimmer in their eye.
Well, fuck him.
Too much has already been said.
Hange whistles low.
“So how recently was this fair maiden introduced into thy friend’s life?”
“Don’t start talking like a freak, Four Eyes,” he warns them while they suppress a cackle between pressed lips. “And — fuck, fine. If no one is going to let it go—”
“We aren’t.”'
Erwin interrupts, making it two against one.
With a set glare at his blonde friend, the smaller man sinks further into his chair and sighs with reluctant resolve.
“I… met her a few days ago. It...”
Trailing off, he sets his tea cup down to rub at his temples with one hand.
This is going to bring on a headache.
He really doesn’t need it on a work night.
“You’re both going to have an opinion on the how, and trust me, so do I.”
Hange’s face screws up in confusion, but he sees it out of the corner of his eye.
Erwin grows still. Contemplative.
Yeah, he knew this was going to go terribly.
“Huh?” Hange whips their ponytail back and forth to look between both men, smacking themself on the sides of their face. “Why wouldn’t we approve of how? Is it one of the old fighters?”
Levi scoffs, dropping to sit back in his chair. “I’d rather choke.”
“Then I’m not following. You don’t even talk to cashiers at the grocery store.”
“When did she call the hotline?” Erwin asks, cutting straight through the bush instead of beating around it.
His stare is almost indiscernible. Stern.
(Protective.)
The lightbulb clicks. Hange finally settles their attention on him.
“Whoa — wait, she’s a…”
“Former client,” Levi confesses after Hange trails off. “Emphasis on the former part.”
The room grows silent.
Levi doesn’t have the capacity to see Hange’s true reaction, because he’s keeping eye contact with Erwin.
Their own telepathic argument bounces back and forth like that very proverbial tennis ball Hange had so teasingly laid down.
The ethics of it all;
The logistics of what it could mean for the future;
The gravity of this choice and knowing its weight is crushing him.
Erwin’s gaze softens a fraction.
Levi’s shoulders relax, if only a little.
“And how did that opportunity come to pass?” the taller blonde finally asks, but it isn’t as harsh as Levi anticipated.
Hell, it’s curious.
Willing — to not judge; to hear him out.
“Accidentally stumbled into her at the bar down the street,” Levi confesses.
Stumbled is an understatement.
.
.
— —
.
.
“So then — what does this mean?”
He doesn’t know.
God, he has no fucking clue.
Just like he had no fucking clue you’d be at this bar tonight; that you not only lived in the area, but in the same goddamn building just a few floors south.
You were meant to be a fluke thing.
A moment of weakness.
An anomaly he could solve like every other problem in his life, one he could reason to death and move on from once you realized that this hotline is a slippery slope to financial debt.
At the end of the day, it wasn’t meant to be real.
The calls, the laughter, the exchange of stories felt real, but that’s the selling point.
Imagining idealism.
He could send as many discounted invoices as he could to management to ease the cost of your calls, but there was only so much he could do from his position.
Still—
That being said, he wanted this.
For the first time in a long time, he wanted something.
Ever since Erwin’s gym went under and the staff were forced to find something else in the interim, Levi Ackerman turned off his emotions. His passion.
Money was tight.
Bills were bills.
But there are worse things to do than apply to a remote-working sex hotline with the promise of flexible hours, medical insurance, and the opportunity to get away from people for a while.
Maybe he hadn’t realized he was simply going through the motions of buying a morning tea at the coffee shop down the street.
Maybe he hadn’t noticed that his drive to push himself to the brink of exhaustion at the gym all but disappeared.
Maybe he existed to simply exist.
Then you called.
Petra had pinged him to let him know that there was someone looking for a deep voice — not surprising — with a tendency to overtalk and overthink.
Easy.
Those types always cave the second you call them a pet name or sprinkle a little praise.
Yet you burst into his life like a damn firework to the face and he’s never recovered since.
Being nervous is a staple on these calls. He’s heard every justification in the book just as he’s witnessed people use the hotline like they’re robots.
You wanted to talk.
Petra doesn’t send people to him if they want to talk.
(Did she know, somehow, that he needed this?)
Conspiracies aside, the last two weeks became some of the best of his life.
Now you knew his face, and he knew yours.
And Christ, you were beautiful.
Your voice was one thing — like a soothing balm to his insomnia — but your face nearly took him right the hell out.
Even in the mirror backsplash of the bar, he couldn’t stop staring. Didn’t want to, not when he finally saw what he wanted right in the palm of his hand.
So he was honest.
Honest about his life, his job, his black hole of an existence — maybe to scare you away so you’d choose better than a guy like him.
That he was the first to break the rules.
That he was sorry, because you weren’t looking for more baggage after a shit breakup with a shithead of a guy.
You didn’t care.
So he decided to rip a page out of his goddamn advice book:
Be selfish.
“Well, if you don’t get too wasted with your friends tonight—”
Autopilot.
Everything is on autopilot when he picks up that damn pen and starts to scribble on a napkin, allowing his nervous system to suckerpunch his logic right out the damn window.
“—and you end up going to the gym tomorrow—”
Bail.
Bail, bail, bail, before you make a damn fool of yourself, Levi Ackerman.
He doesn’t.
He straightens his spine, folds the napkin, and reaches for your hand.
The heat of it almost makes his stomach clench.
If he were bolder, then maybe he’d steal you away from your friends. Keep asking questions to make you talk more. Watch as your eyes light up about your favorite things—
He can’t. Won’t.
You’re with your friends. He’s already taken enough time away from them for you.
“—give me a call.”
Maybe he’s chickenshit for running, but at least there’s a part of him brave enough to leave him his personal cell number in the palm of your hand.
Before you can say anything, he drops some money on the counter to pay for both drinks and a tip and leaves to walk home.
To contemplate.
(Assuming you likely won’t call. He wouldn’t blame you.)
The night air leaves a sobering sting on his cheeks as he steps outside.
It’s considerably quieter than the cramped space of the bar, but cabs bustle in the street.
His pocket vibrates not once but twice.
(So not a text.)
Fishing his phone out, Levi squints at the ‘Unknown Caller’ ID staring up at him.
He swipes right to accept said call, pressing the phone to his ear.
“Hello, Levi Ackerman speaking.”
“Hi, Levi. It’s formerly Scarlet.”
His heart falls out of his ass.
Whipping back around to the tinted windows of the bar, Levi can’t help but look for that now-familiar face.
You’re blocked by an endless sea of conversations and bodies, but he still searches.
“My schedule just opened up,” you tell him from the other side of the line, your voice airy like you hold a secret. “I know it’s a little late for some coffee, but — are you free for some tea now?”
Shit.
Maybe he should be giving the headset for the hotline over to you.
“Depends,” Levi exhales. “Any shop worth a damn is closed at this hour.”
“Shit, you’re right.”
He liked it when you cursed.
Hell, he liked it when you weren’t afraid to be yourself around him the most.
“There’s a pop-up shop about six floors above yours,” Levi reasons with a shrug he assumes you can’t see; autopilot, “if you don’t mind walking a neighbor home.”
.
.
— —
.
.
“You said that?”
Hange, now at the brink of teetering off of their chair, gawks.
Levi blinks twice, realizing he’s given more of the story than he wanted to.
That they know it’s serious — dead fucking serious for him, actually — and that you’re his neighbor.
Yeah, he didn’t believe it either until you said yes.
“What?” Levi asks. “Something wrong?”
“No, that was just fucking smooth, dude,” Hange whistles low, impressed. “Pop-a-button-and-open-a-window kinda smooth. Holy shit.” They thumb towards Erwin. “You teach him to talk like that!?”
“Self-taught, I’m afraid,” Erwin hums. “Can’t take the credit.”
Hange flops back into their chair unceremoniously. “Jeeeez.”
“Six floors down, then?”
There’s a rare tint of pride in Erwin’s tone, like there’s a joke somewhere in that question he isn’t saying.
Levi immediately narrows his eyes.
“Yeah. She’s been my fuckin’ neighbor all this time, if you can believe that.”
He sure as hell can’t. The fact that you’re six floors away — have been — has kept him up at night.
He could run down there right now and show you off to his friends.
He could leave you home-cooked meals if you’re running behind at your office job.
He could do a lot of things, but—
“Is she requesting you to end your time at Scout Services?” Erwin asks, interrupting his trailing thoughts.
Levi’s stormy eyes meet a contemplative, oceanic stare.
“...no.”
A beat passes.
Despite his trepidation, he explains himself.
“She’s not asking me to quit it. Says she gets it, a job’s a job, but I don’t know how true that’ll be in the long run.”
“And you believe her?”
He knows Erwin’s skepticism isn’t unfounded, but it sets a fire in his belly.
Questioning you, the newfound gravity keeping him grounded on planet earth.
(You're just a stranger to him, too, at the end of the day, but you don't feel like one. Not really.)
“I can’t expect anyone to stay neutral about what the fuck it is we do, Erwin," he reasons diplomatically. "I can say everything on my mind and put it on paper, but I’m sure the doubt will still creep in. Everything’s too new to tell. It won’t be easy, but it…”
He sighs, running his hand once more through his straight-and-narrow black hair.
“I just need you two dumbasses to keep me in check. I can’t—”
Hange frowns, and he hates the sympathetic tone they take when they say his name.
“Levi—”
“Four Eyes,” Levi interrupts stronger yet weaker in resolve, effectively shutting down their protest, “I can’t fuck this up. So don’t let me.”
The air grows thick, like winding vines corrupting the foundation of a tree.
Levi glances between the two of them, nostrils flaring with unspoken difficulty.
Erwin is the first to nod. Wordlessly, but he does.
Hange sighs with conclusion not a second after and nods, too.
“Am I at least allowed to ask one thing?” they chirp, holding out one slender finger to the sky. “Just one teeny, tiny thing — yes or no.”
A part of him really wants to say no.
A part of him really wants to say this conversation is over before he gives them anymore concrete information about you as he navigates these uncharted waters of being a not-so-normal boyfriend to a very-normal-ass person.
He fights.
Fails.
“...fine,” he grumbles. “The fuck’s the question?”
Hange perks up, all too smug.
“Did the pop-up shop six floors up line work?”
The memory blossoms in the back of his skull.
His body warms as if trapped under an electric blanket, heat setting cranked a little too high.
Instinctively his eyes flicker to the front door of his apartment.
Like you’ll burst in at any moment with your work bags and stress and the hope that he’ll have the same soothing balm you’ve gifted him, hands at the ready to fix your problems for you.
He hasn’t wanted much.
He’s never wanted much, but—
Shit, if he doesn’t want to be good to you.
“...something like that.”
.
Author's Note:
AHHHH HI EVERYONE! WE'RE AT IT AGAIN WITH MODERN!LEVI SHENANIGANS! How are we feeling to be back?
I seriously cannot believe we're here. I've never done a sequel before, but the demand was overwhelming and I couldn't help but agree: we could do with learning what happens after the final call.
And we will, in this seven (maybe more?) part series. I had to actually break up part one because it got way too large of a chapter, so I promise we'll be picking up right where we left off in P4 -- like, quite literally That Fateful Night in part two.
#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x female reader#attack on titan fanfiction#snk fanfiction#snk fanfic#aot fanfic#aot fic#snk fic#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman fanfic#shingeki no kyojin fanfiction#aot fanfiction#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#aot x reader#snk x reader#levimonth24
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Your first kiss with your future spouse 💋 - Pick a pile
*Note : Some language and se*ual message too so minors DNI*
Pile 1/ Pile 2
Pile 3/ Pile 4
Liked my blog or readings? Tip me! | My Paid Readings | My insta
Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!
Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!
How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!
I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!
Pile 1:
(The cards I got for you - 6 of swords, 4 of swords, Ace of wands, The lovers)
Okay so the first thing i felt was very romantic, like you would be waiting for him to make the very first move and, the first kiss will be around buildings and a very clear sky, a place where there is not so many people around you, a tourist place, but it will be quite magical you would not want to stop at all like just keep going, you both will be waiting for this moment for very long, for some of you i saw a vision where you both would be holding eye contact with each other and just you lean forward at same time, smile and presses your lips on each other, it will be quite passionate unlike any other kiss you have had, for some of you it will be the very first time, the kiss will make you feel all sorts of emotions, take you to other place, just like another verse, that's how much you would love it, for some of you i see there will be some tension around you like you are contemplating talking discussing and you will be venting and here he will come and just presses his lips on yours and you smile and kiss back, a very sweet moment between you both honestly, I also see for some of you, you guys could be in some sort of restaurant, and hospital or airport you would be so happy to see each other you just both lose yourself in each other, you would feel at home very safe when you kiss them, I also heard " i have been dying to this, thank you for making me the happiest person in the world", the kiss between you both will also be very quite sensual like the atmosphere would be set your future spouse would be planning to kiss you from the very moment but they will hold back, after your kiss i also feel you will melt in each other's embrace, forgetting everyone and everything just the two of you , I also heard "baby, it's us against the world, and if the world is against you, i am against the world", they are so romantic, The kiss will be a very divinely period for you both, Like this was supposed to happen sooner or later type of thing, the kiss will make you feel on the cloud nine.
Honestly? cutest! even i am feeling all lovey-dovey right now, good for you my pile 1! I am so happy for you!
Pile 2:
(The cards I got for you - Nine of cups, The magician, The hermit and the queen of swords)
Okay so the very first thing i felt from this pile was nervous and shy energy as well as the kiss would be very manifested, like you wanted to do this in forever with your future spouse, you might not have had a good first kiss or some of you might even regret doing it or wasting it on someone, for some of you like pile you are still haven't kissed anyone or waiting for the right person if you also feel connected to pile 1 do see it as well it might have some messages for you! Okay so the first kiss between you both could be on wedding day, some people here have a very good self control, or when where you will be celebrating a win and you kiss your future spouse because you just feel so happy with each other, like you are grateful for them being with you, your first kiss could be a dream come true, like everything you have ever desired or wanted, a literal fairytale, I also feel you will be planning your first kiss with them for a very long time and when it finally happens you would be the happiest person ever, I also see lots of giggles it could be you, because as i said a literal dream kiss, Okay so i see a vision where you just when kiss each other, feel so lost like wow, never thought a kiss could feel like it, the atmosphere would have greenery, or it might be also be raining or a windy day for some of you, like as I said a literal dream come true for you both, you won't be regretting it at all, but i also feel you guys be quite nervous after like if they liked it, but spoiler they will love it no matter if you were not good at first try they would cherish the moment of you to kiss them, for some of you the area could be surrounded by water, a beautiful place, i heard "bali", maybe you have your first kiss there, or somewhere with water surrounding the area, I also feel some of you could be taking minty fresh breath, so you guys don't feel self conscious, no matter what your future spouse will love it, i also feel your fs will be the one to initiate the kiss or giving you eyes and finally have the courage to go for it!, some of you will be spending this moment at home with them and that's when you greet them with the kiss, for some of you this pile could be very logical and intellectual, do think with their mind so the very first move from them will melt you, you guys would be enjoying this moment a lot, you both will, this will be your first time feeling this way, you guys could also be full of nerves but a kiss with them will ease everything the stress, the worries. I heard "just be you", i love that.
wow pile 2 your fs is quite a romantic, and you could do the embarrassing thing with them and they will still adore the freak outta you! love that!
Pile 3:
(The cards I got for you - 2 of cups, 3 of pentacles, judgement and king of wands)
Okay so for some of you guys it could be you making the first move, like they are taking so much time and you are so tired and you just kiss them on whim they would be first very shocked but will kiss you back with same intensity, it could be a dream come true for both of you, especially you guys, i also feel very balanced or masculine energy from this pile whoever is reading it, for some of you the first kiss is cosmic like fireworks, sparks everywhere you just feel like "wow" so is this how it supposed to feel type of vibe. You both will be focusing on each other a lot, and for some of you, you will be doing it in early period of relationship, i also see a alleyway, like kind of deserted and you kiss him while put your hands in his sweatshirt, and he pins you against the wall and say "my turn, sweetheart", the first kiss between you both will be emotional as well as passionate, very sexual too, like you have been craving for each other, some of you could be doing or filming it, for a memory for you and your kids to watch, i also feel he will be smiling a lot against your lips, like smirking, which will make you weak in your knees, like damn it, bro give me a ice shower right now so fucking sweet, for some of you the first kiss could be in the work place, educational place, like unusual place for sure like a sweet peck, which will leave you wanting more, it will be a very new experience for you i also feel your future spouse will be touching your lips a lot or looking at them, with them you would be left with no worries, this is the kiss you deserved to have with your future spouse, you will see the difference when it happens, some of you could be quite spiritual in this pile, or starting to go into spirituality, you would not be worrying for anything when this finally happens with your future spouse, for some of you he could be taking charge and catching you off guard with your kiss, "like enough, i need to taste you" is what i hear. Definitely hungry for you.
Pile 3 you guys are quite hungry for each other, love that, love to see you guys in control <3
Pile 4:
(The cards I got for you - knight of swords, 2 of wands, knight of wands and knight of cups)
Okay so very few of you not EVERYONE but few of you could have their first kiss by someone from kindergarten? like i see two kids one kissed other one of their cheek it was so random but i need to write it out for you guys, might mean something for you guys, so random. But anyways let's start, For some of you be having an argument or disagreement and they shut you with kiss which will lead to a kiss and then sex time for you both, lol, they are quite naughty for you like would just go for it, i also heard "let's do this", "i have waited so long for you, darling", mhm they are feeling quite emotional, and just wants to be with you now, I also feel when you kiss for the first time you guys could be having conversation, intense deep talks, your future spouse would be doing his best to make you feel very comfortable with them and then they make you feel so at ease, and then they make the move towards, okay so i see a vision where they put, hand behind your neck, pulls you close, while you both are breathing hard, chests heaving up and down, and they tease you with nibble on your lips, they kiss you hard seductively, I also feel many of you could be using their tongues, SO FREAKING HOT, gosh, then they pull you in them whisper something in your ear and continue to make you feel good, I also feel in the heat of moment they could be touching your waist, caressing every part of you, i am also hearing lots of heavy breathing, no wonder its SO HOT in here, they will be exploring every part of your mouth your body , they will kiss your neck too give you hickey and just not let you go hold you so tight in their arms, just mm. They are also quite a gentleman and chivalrous person who has been planning to do this for you with who knows how long, for some of you this will happen in amusement park, or on a first date with them, the kiss would be quite emotional yet loving, very balanced.
OMG guys i am so in love, so happy you guys would be experiencing that! you deserve that <3
Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3
#tarotcommunity#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarot cards#pick a card reading#pick a pile#thetarotwitchcommunity#divination#futurespousereading#future spouse#pac reading#love reading#pick a tarot#witchblr#divine guidance#spirituality#meditation#intuitive readings#tarot blog#astro community#astro notes#anime and manga#psychic#astro observations#pick a picture#pick a card#spiritualgrowth#free tarot readings#tarot exchange#pick a photo
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Charles jealous and possessive please 🔥 Smut. Thank you so much ❤️
₊˚⊹♡ ➛ le mien
Charles Leclerc x Fem!reader
Summary: Part 2 of Mine
Genre: DARK fic.
Word: 2.03k words
TW: baby trapping, p and c penetration, possessiveness, jealousy, branding, manipulation, obsessive behavior, bit angsty, corruption, brainwashing, wrap it before you tap it folks and overall messed up shit. This is not proofread and there are some grammatical error also google translated french. if uncomfortable minors do not interact!!
─────── ─ ♡₊˚ 🦢・���✧ ─ ───────
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Y/username Happy 4th Anniversary Mon amour!
Charles_Leclerc i love you so much darling!
Y/username i love you more💋💋💋
Carlossainz55 Stay strong guys!
User1 Cutest Couple ever🙈
User2 JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY
User3 Agreed😍
Y/bff The cutest fr
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Arthur_Leclerc Congrats bro!
❤️ liked by charles_leclerc and author
…
Despite all the love you share on social media, nothing can compare to the real truth that exists beyond the internet.
People don't see the things he does behind closed doors—all those emotional abuse, obsessive behavior, and possessiveness. Never, even once, do people know that it's happening between the two of you.
All they know is the sweet words you guys share in each other's posts and the way you act whenever there are people around you two—all sweet and loving like one of those fairy tale romances you read. But behind all that, they don't see how hurt you are mentally. It was happening constantly, and you were so used to it that you became numb and just succumbed to the growing pain you feel inside.
To the point where you act like his puppet—doing everything that pleases him, and acting the way he wants you to.
You never once complained, thinking that it was just how love goes.
You were a fool. A fool blinded by "love".
...
"Hey y/n/n, are you alright? Me and mom have been worried about you; you haven't been going to our usual family gathering." your sister asked over the phone.
It was true; you haven't been going to those gatherings for a while now, only because Charles said, "It's not safe to go outside," and of course, like the sweet girlfriend doll you were, you followed his words.
You stared blankly, your mind wandering off. You tend to get lost in thoughts nowadays, and you're not sure why. Maybe it's from the stress you've been feeling, but you just brushed it off like it was nothing.
"Yeah, I am good. I've just been busy lately, you know? Keeping the house safe and everything," you chuckled dryly.
"You know I can tell when there's something wrong, right? So just tell me."
Before you could answer, Charles walked into the room. With one hand holding Leo, he was snuggled up nice and cozy in his embrace. His eyes roamed around the room searching for you; his gaze then fell prey on your meek figure—you sat there holding the phone in one hand while the other rested on the softly fabricated couch. You looked angelic, as if untouched by any form of evil.
Then again, Charles wasn't just any form of evil; he was the reincarnation of the devil himself, and he wanted nothing more than to corrupt your innocence.
With a soft smile, Charles walked to where you sat, sitting beside you and settling leo down on his lap.
"Who are you talking to poupée (doll)?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Oh, just my sister; we were just catching up on things." You muttered, your voice quivering slightly; you don't know whether you were scared or just have some sore throat that made your voice crack.
Charles looked at you in disbelief, his eyes narrowing with skepticism, and simply turned his attention back at Leo. "Hang up the phone," he said bluntly, not even sparing you a glance.
"But baby, we were just talking." You tried to argue with him, telling him that you just wanted to chat with your sister, but as usual, he blocked your words of plea and glared at you—he always does that, looking at you as if he were judging your whole soul.
His eyes have always been your weakness; they both scare and pleasure you at the same time. Charles knows that, and he uses it to his advantage every time.
The atmosphere in the room was heavy; you could feel it weighing down and crushing your spirit.
Sighing defeatedly, you had no choice but to end the call with your sister and not further complicate things.
"Hey, uhm, sis, I'll just call you back, okay? Something just came up."
You didn't even let your sister respond before hanging up the call. Charles hummed contentedly and patted the seat next to him. At that very moment, you felt angry with him, but you knew that you couldn't do anything about it, so you sucked it up and sat beside him. Leaning close to his embrace.
"Bonne fille, ma chérie (good girl, my darling)," he mumbbled softly, kissing the roof of your head.
...
Charles gripped your waist tightly, his jaws clenched, and hands balled up to a fist. He half-ass smiled at the man, trying to compose himself—fighting back the urges to beat the shit out of the guy in front of them.
He saw the way he looked at you; his eyes scanned each and every part of your body like you were some kind of art on display. fucking disgusting.
You, on the other hand, held on to him, almost ripping the fabric of his clothes with your tight grip. You paid no mind to the guy he was talking to and just stared at the bustling room; in there, people were having fun, dancing, and drinking with others.
At that moment, you didn't care about Charles or who he was conversing with; all you wanted was to spring free from his embrace and just party wild with others. Was that too much to ask for?
For him, it was. If it was legal, he wanted nothing more than to lock you up and live the rest of your lives together. So, having that idea was just wishful thinking—it never hurts to dream, though.
"I'll see you around, yeah?" The man asked, earning a subtle nod from Charles as an acknowledgment.
"Quel putain de cinglé (what a fucking weirdo)," he mumbled under his breath, his accent making the words sound more spiteful and venomous.
You didn't hear him say that. You were too busy to admire people's enjoyment and bask in the laughter and smiles that surround you. How could people be as care free like that? The ache on your heart only grows fonder. Oh, how you wish you could do the same.
With your head up in the clouds, you didn't seem to notice the angry monegasque that stood beside you, cursing you in any language he knew. The next thing you felt was a harsh sting that rested on your jaw.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I've been trying to talk to you! What are you even looking at? Are you cheating on me, Chienne (Bitch)?" he yelled, not even caring anymore if people heard him.
Your breath hitches, eyes widening, and heart racing fast.
His hands were now on your jaws, gripping them with sheer strength. You didn't know what was going on or why this was happening to you. You were always so nice and never did anything to cause harm, so why?
All those questions in your mind made your vision go blurry and your head spin, causing you to black out on the spot.
...
You woke up the next day with a pounding headache and only bits of memories of what happened that night. "Ouch," you winced, massaging your head to try and ease the pain.
As if on cue, Charles walked in with medicine on his left hand and a glass of water on the right.
His face lit up, seeing that you were now awake. He softly smiled and walked towards your shared bed. The matress dipped down as he sat next to your sitting body.
"Are you feeling better, mon amour?" he asked. His hand was about to stroke your cheeks, but out of reflex, your body flinched at his sudden movement.
That made Charles frown. You know how bipolar his mood has been; that's why you've been extra careful not to ruin it. You were expecting him to be mad, but what happened was the opposite. He only sighed deeply and lowered his head.
"I am sorry, Mon cœur." Your being shocked was an understatement; in fact, you were flabergasted at his words. You never knew that hearing him say that would make you want to tear up.
"Hey, baby, it's okay. I know you didn't mean for it to happen," you assured him, and rubbed circles around his arm.
And just like that, Charles once again got you wrapped around his finger. You were way too easy to convince and so naive that you'd fall for anything he said.
He slowly lift up his head and gave you a light smile.
You then melted at his expression, it was silly of you to think that a face like that could ever harm you. he would never do that.
...
"Fuck, Charlie, put it in already, please," you begged, your eyes watering from the overstimulation. His hands gripped your waist tighter—muscles flexing in the process.
"You're so needy for my cock, mon amour," he breathes out.
The two of you have been at it for half an hour now, both out of breath and with marks made by one another. Your bodies were sticky with each other's bodily fluids, but you guys paid no mind to that. Only focusing on reaching the pleasure you both wanted so badly.
Without wasting a second, Charles huridly inserted his dick into your aching core. Your eyes widened from the sudden sensation between your thighs; you could feel how he was stretching you, and the need for him to satisfy you only increased.
"Move, please" you said, your voice quivering and hands scratching his back to let out some of the pain.
Your legs instantly rested on his lower hip, wanting to keep him as close to you as possible. You don't know why you're acting like that, but you suddenly got the urge to mount him and fuck him till dawn.
"Shit baby, you're always so tight," he chuckled, his left hand settled in the headboard while his right hand played with the nub of your tits.
His hips clashed with yours, making the two of you a moaning mess. Charles then dove down to your breast and licked it, biting and teasing them. He made sure to leave plenty of marks.
"Oh god, i..i am about to come," you gasped, your toes curling from the rush of adrenaline coursing through you.
"Just come for me, baby," he said, continuously pounding into you, your flesh crashing at each other and making a loud, smacking sound.
His hand then snaked up to hold onto your ankles, lifting it up. Shifting his dick into a deeper position.
With the new found position, your vision started to go blur; now only seeing nothing but stars. Your mind then turns hazy, and hands gripping tightly on the duvet sheet that scattered on the bed.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck" was the only thing you said before collapsing on the matress, your body convulsing with pleasure as your juices slowly fall down your flush tighs.
"Damn, all that for me, ma chérie?" Charles laughed, licking his lower lip at how ravishing you look; fucked out and cockdumb for him.
He continued to rut his hips to your overstimulated cunt. "Fuck, Je veux mettre un bébé en toi (i want to put a baby inside you)" he mumbled, not minding your state and carried on fucking you into an oblivion.
"I'ma fill you with my cum, make you a mama and the fill you up again....fuck" he rambled, his hips never stoping, not until he reach his high.
And after a few more thrust, he finally came inside of you— his eyes rolling in the back of his head with satisfaction. He continued to rut into you; not wanting to spill his cum and then coating your walls with his white seed.
You were sure to get pregnant by that and after that, you two are going to be tied forever, just like he planned.
...
yeah that was pure filth, hope you guys like it though! My requests are always open.
#imagine#fanfic#oneshot#smut#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#scuderia ferrari#charles leclerc scenarios#charles leclerc story#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc imagine
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❝𝐀 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃❜𝐒 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒❞
⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗨 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢, 𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗥𝗨 𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗢, 𝗞𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗢 𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗜, 𝗧𝗢𝗝𝗜 𝗙𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗨𝗥𝗢, 𝗔𝗢𝗜 𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗢, 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗨 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗚
𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟎 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒏𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒓 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ─ 18+ ONLY; MINORS DNI. alcohol consumptions. drunken antics. smut; penetrative sex, sex in a public space. slightly cracky.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ─ in true hallmark movie fashion, the holiday party ends with your crush getting so drunk that he spills professions of love.
꒰ ͜͡➸ 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆! 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒❜ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 & 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑! ♡
SATORU GOJO
Whiney. Clingy. Horny.
First of all, we know this man is a lightweight. Don’t even be surprised that he’s easily swayed by the influence of alcohol.
At some point (for his own sanity of course) Nanami tried to curb him whenever he wanted another drink…but he gave up.
So now you’re stuck with a very drunk Satoru Gojo
One minute he’s being his usual irritating self, the next he’s practically slurring as he blurts out really, really stupid shit.
You’re desperately trying to reel him in because your students are literally in the same room as you and do not need to see their teacher drunk or hear the inappropriate things he’s saying.
But Satoru Gojo cannot be stopped.
He also cannot for the life of him contain any of the feelings he has for you in his body. So despite the fact that he would probably benefit more from throwing up all the sake bombs he’s had, he throws up drunken confessions.
Though it’s no secret that the both of you harbor feelings for each other, neither of you has explicitly acted on them…until now.
“My GOD. You are so pretty. Like, I wanna take off my blindfold to appreciate you fully but your beauty just makes my eyes huuuurrrt!” “...Thank..you? It’s definitely your Six Eyes though–” “No, it’s all the pretty.”
“Heyyyyy, dance with me!~”
Yelling “I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU PLEASE–” across the room.
Nobara for sure gets it on video. Megumi and Maki are appalled. Yuuji and Panda standing there with no thoughts behind their eyes. Toge’s lowkey entertained but will continue to remain to look unbothered. Nanami is rubbing his eyes and sighing deeply. Shoko for SURE eggs him on. Masamichi is ready to throw them both out.
You take it upon yourself to try and see if someone can get him home while you continue to celebrate with the kids, but Shoko is too drunk. That leaves…
“Nanami, can you–” “Absolutely not. Have a good night.”
And that’s how you end up hauling that man back to your apartment…because he caused a scene when you tried to take him home to his.
Literally just clings to you and cannot be detached from you for the life of him.
You set up a bed for him on the couch, but the second you turn around–
“I wanna sleep with youuuu!” Satoru whines, hugging you tightly from behind as you wash your face for the night. “Why are you kicking me out?”
You sigh exasperatedly before shooting him a stern look.
“Satoru. Couch. Go.”
You go to lay in bed and after having your eyes closed for only five minutes, your door opens and he’s crawling into bed behind you whining.
“Wanna stay here with you. You have more pillows.” “I can give you extra pillows if you want som–” “Boobs. I want your boobs :D”
At that point, you literally just give up. He’s spooning you from behind, clinging to you so tightly that you literally feel his dick hardening against you as his large hands knead your breasts.
His mouth is pressed right to your ear, murmuring promises as he begins to finally fall asleep.
“I swear…when I’m more sober, I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you. Promise.”
You both take work off the next day. Everyone knows why.
SUGURU GETO
Seductive. Suave. Charming.
When Suguru gets enough alcohol in him, he turns into such a romantic.
Everyone thinks you guys are together and have been together for a while solely based on his body language.
Without any inhibitions left to deter him from fully expressing his fondness for you, he allows you to be his center of gravity–when you move, he moves.
His body naturally leans towards yours. He adjusts his body so that it’s clear his attention is only on you even when you’re not speaking. No one else exists to him.
Very put together. If it weren’t for him being more flirty than usual, you wouldn’t even think he was under the influence.
Whisks you away shamelessly away from other people when he feels like you’ve been giving them more attention than them.
You’re talking to a group of coworkers when suddenly Suguru comes up from behind you and places a hand on your waist.
“Excuse me, ladies. You wouldn’t mind if I stole this beauty away for a dance, would you?” He purrs.
But he’s not asking. By the time he’s done speaking, you’re already being swept away by him. He doesn’t even wait for a response, nor does he care to notice the way said coworkers gawk at you jealously.
This man literally twirls you around the dancefloor with a big smile on his face. His eyes never leave yours.
“What’d gotten into you?” You laugh softly as he dips you.
He simply shakes his head and chuckles.
“Nothing. I’m just really in love with you and there is quite literally nothing in the way to get in my head or stop me from saying it anymore.”
It’s a simple, straightforward, and intimate confession that is oh so Suguru.
KENTO NANAMI
Our main is a heavy drinker who can handle his liquor expertly, so…you’re the tipsy one.
You, Satoru, Shoko, Utahime, and Kento are all at a sushi bar celebrating a successful semester and the steady growth of your kids.
Too swept up in the good vibes, you don’t stop yourself from having a drink of choice with Shoko each time she orders a sake bomb.
Little by little, your laughs increase until they’re filling the room.
Kento is the first to notice, glancing down at you with a barely noticeably softened expression as all of your worries are alleviated–even if it’s just momentarily.
The two of you worked more closely than the others knew. Yuuji had taken a close liking to you, so naturally, you and Kento convened often to discuss his progress and needs.
Of course, these little meetings extended into ones of a more personal nature like grabbing lunch, a bakery run, or even a simple walk.
It was safe to say that Kento Nanami, the adult of all adults, had developed a soft spot for you.
Which is why he can feel his face heat up and his heart begin to pound against his chest as your head falls against his shoulder, giggling as you stare up at him.
Unable to help himself, he gives you a gentle smile, placing a hand on your cheek.
“You’re really warm.” He comments. “Would you like to get some fresh air?”
“Yea! I wanna see all the twinkly lights the stores have put out!” You chime, tugging on his sleeve.
The blond affectionately groans before helping you into your coat and slipping his on, stepping out of the booth.
“I’m taking her for a walk. We’ll be back.” “Ooh! Can we–” “No.”
With that, he helps you up and out of the restaurant, your hand clasped in the crook of his arm.
Your friends are suddenly sobered up at the table, shooting each other shocked expressions.
“...You guys saw that right?”
Meanwhile, you and Kento are walking down the street leisurely as you literally babble nonstop.
“I wanna take Yuuji here for dinner one day, we should go together! It’ll be really nice for us both to spend time with him, since we’re basically like his parents right? You know what parents do? Kiss! Why haven’t we–”
Kento halts your runny mouth with a finger pressed to your lips, the most honeyed expression on his stupidly handsome face as he gazes at you.
“As adorable as you are at this moment, I really want to have this conversation with you when you’re mind is clear enough to remember it.” He whispers, pulling your coat around you tighter as a gust of wind blows by. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Okay?”
TOJI FUSHIGURO
Toji literally cannot get drunk, so guess who's spilling their guts? You.
You’re out with some girlfriends for a Friendsmas dinner when the sangria hits you all a little too hard.
Your best friend is left with no choice but to take your phone and call the guy you’ve been seeing to come pick you up.
While you loved Toji, admitting it yourself–but especially him–was a terrifying concept to you all because of a certain little sea urchin-like haired toddler…Megumi.
God, you loved that kid. You loved him to absolute death. He practically felt like your own child. Which was even scarier because what if things didn’t work out between you and Toji? What if one day he decided that his late wife couldn’t be replaced? Would he resent you?
All of that reservation flies out of the window when you’re carried into his apartment and are greeted with a sleepy Megumi in the doorway, having been watched by a neighbor.
“Mama?”
You literally sob. It’s quite embarrassing considering your inebriated state, but the emotions cannot be contained any longer.
The toddler frowns, his father’s expression mirroring his own. He had never seen you so…fragile.
“God, I love you guys.” You confess tearily. “I’m so sorry that this is how you have to hear it but–”
Your interrupted by two forces against you; muscle arms around your shoulders from behind and a small body hugging your front tightly.
“Silly, mama.” Megumi giggles.
Toji’s deep laugh fills your ears alongside his deep, adoration-laced tone.
“Yea…silly mama.”
AOI TODO
Friendsmas gets a little too lit when the great Aoi Todo is around.
Yuuji playfully insists on trying every flavor of Soju and of course, his brother tags along.
But in true Aoi Todo fashion, he does things with a little too much gusto….he’s drunk as shit now.
Eventually, the girls decide to break off and convene at your place for a sleepover, having had enough of the boisterousness for the night.
You’re literally minding your business having a conversation with Mai, Maki, and Nobara while Momo and Miwa make everyone some late night noodles when suddenly a love song by Takada is being blasted from your balcony window.
“This that…?” Miwa squeaks, clearly caught off guard.
It definitely is. The flow of the cursed energy, Takada blasting, there’s no questioning who the hell is outside of your window.
Nobara already has her phone out to document the moment, the Zenin sisters are snickering as they stare at you, Momo is actually floored. Miwa…beyond floored.
“You have so much shit to tell us.” Nobara laughs.
“Yea, what did that happen? You and Todo?”
“NOW apparently!” You whisper frantically. “What do I do–”
“TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IN APARTMENT B347, THIS IS FOR YOU!”
You’re literally shoved outside to confront a drunk Aoi Todo singing along to his idol as Yuuji holds a Bluetooth speaker in the air next to him.
“You guys…”
“Y/N I WANNA MARRY YOU, REMEMBER THIS MOMENT WHEN IT’S TIME TO TELL OUR FUTURE KIDS HOW WE MET–”
“Please come inside!” You hiss.
“DO YOU SHARE THESE SAME SENTIMENTS OF LO–”
“Yes, for the love of god, I love you too, but please come inside before I get evicted.”
“SUCCESS, BROTHER!”
SHIU KONG
Horny. That’s it.
You’re with him at some fancy restaurant dressed to the nines for a business dinner with colleagues of his.
Every person at the table is shady at very best. Hell, yourself included.
But there are no thoughts of right and wrong when a tipsy Shiu whose lips taste like the smoothest, finest whiskey assault your own as he thrusts into you vigorously from behind.
“Good girl. I knew you’d get us that deal…you’re too damn pretty for anyone to say no to, sweetheart.” He purrs into your ear, words slightly slurred.
Your hands grip the edge of the counter tightly, letting out a breathy laugh in between hushed moans.
“How is it that you fuck better after a few drinks in you?” You tease, earning you a deep chuckle.
“Because you’re my woman and I love you. And I wanna keep doing this with you, living this life with you. No matter how messed up it is.” He pants against your ear.
© all rights reserved to fushic0re — do not translate, repost, or plagiarize.
#satoru gojo x reader#suguru geto x reader#kento nanami x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#aoi todo x reader#shiu kong x reader#satoru gojo smut#shiu kong smut#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen
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Can I just say I LOVE your writting? 'cause I do! And I'm so happy requests are open! 🥹 Here I am wondering if you can indulge little old me with a request. I went through your prompts and picked two! If you can combine them, I'd be delighted! If not, it's okay!
Here:
Jealousy fuelled kiss with the sentence:
"Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?"
My request is a Fem reader and I would love to read Ace, Zoro and Law, if you don't mind! Throw in more if you'd like, I always love me some feral Kid, for instance... But whatever tickles your fancy! I just like some jealous boys! 🤭😋
Thank you again for sharing your gift! 🫶🏻❤️
DESCRIPTION: Prompt: Jealousy fuelled kiss w/ “Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?”
WARNINGS: jealousy! but nothing else apart from that
CHARACTERS: Ace, Zoro, Law, Kid, Rob Lucci
WORDS: 3,531
A/N: Thank you for this request! I added Kid for you and also did one for Lucci because why not haha. I tried to make each scenario different and interesting and I hope you like what I came up with.
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST
———————
ACE
“Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?” You looked over in the mirror in front of you to see Ace appear in the doorway, arms folded and pout heavy on his lips. You let out a satisfied laugh and finished getting ready for a night out on the island the Moby Dick had just docked at. As you adjusted your outfit-the one Ace loved you in the most- you noticed how his hands twitched. You could tell he wanted nothing more than to close the distance and do exactly what he’d just confessed and ordinarily you would have let him. However tonight was different and Ace only had himself to blame. Earlier in the evening just before you’d gone to get ready you made a comment about hoping Ace wouldn’t be as flirtatious with the locals this time. He in turn responded with an idle wave of his hand and a comment that. “It’s just harmless babe, you know you’re the only one I want.”
While you knew that was true, the fact that Ace hadn’t even taken a second to consider how you felt was what annoyed you. You weren’t even asking him to stop flirting with others since it sometimes worked in the crew’s favour, you just wanted him to tone it down a little. So after that comment you’d told Ace that from now until you both returned to the ship you were both to pretend you weren’t a couple and you could also flirt with the locals too. Ace had initially grinned and shrugged, happy to play along since it was only flirting and you’d be his again when you both returned to the ship at the end of the night. His grin dropped though when you reminded him that this meant he wasn’t allowed to kiss or touch you at all.
The harsh reality of the situation hit him hard when it was less than hour had passed in the bar and he could barely concentrate on those he was talking to. Try as he might to be laid back as normal he couldn’t help but have his gaze pulled towards you every time the smallest movement occurred in your direction. You’d drawn plenty attention when you’d arrived and he’d expected it. Ace had always counted himself the luckiest man alive you have been the one you chose and jealousy was a foreign feeling to him so to feel it now was unsettling. Over and over he’d reminded himself that it didn’t mean anything.
Then he heard you laugh and watched when the person talking to you stepped just a little closer. At the same time, the glass in his hand exploded and he looked at his hand engulfed in fire and slight scorch marks on the table. Ace rose and handed money to the barman to cover the cost of the minor damages before stepping out into the cool air to clear his head. He got as far as the fountain in the town-square and sat down, closing his eyes. “Not as easy to be on the watcher’s side is it?”
Ace turned his head sharply to see you sitting down beside him. Immediately he wasted no time in leaning forward. With his fingers pinching your chin and free hand sliding into your hair he claimed your lips, pulling you dizzyingly into one of the most intense and fiery kisses he’d ever given you. Surprised, you managed to recover and return the kiss with equal fervour while letting your boyfriend dictate the pace until you felt you couldn’t breathe. Finally you reluctantly pulled back just enough to catch your breath while Ace pressed more kisses against your jaw and throat. “Lesson learned.” He rasped against your skin, lifting his head to smirk at you. “Jealousy sucks.”
“I dunno…” you laughed, securing your hands on his shoulder and chest. “Has its uses if I get more kisses like that.”
ZORO
Zoro normally has no problem voicing his own thoughts. Someone’s being a moron? He’ll tell them to shut up and get out of his way. Someone fought fiercely and strong enough to earn his praise? He’ll do so and even make it a point to name something specific he witnessed to ensure them he is being genuine. Zoro prided himself in being upfront and unfortunately he had to call himself a fucking coward. Because he just couldn’t bring himself to tell you how he felt and anytime he considered it, he backed out just as fast. Instead he had to subject himself to the self-inflicted torture of being close with you but not in the way he fully wanted while also trying to convince himself that he only sees you as a friend because at the moment that’s all he can see you being with him.
“That drink say something to piss you off or something?” Zoro glanced out of the corner of his good eye to see Nami appear and lean against the railing he was also using to brace himself against. “You’ve been glaring at it instead of drinking it and I got concerned.”
“Nothin’ to bother yourself about.” He answered gruffly, forcing his gaze to look out at the lower section of the deck and sipped his drink as if to prove her worry wrong. Though now he had to look at the one thing he’d been trying to avoid; you talking and laughing with the others.
“You should just tell them how you feel already.” Nami hummed, her knowing smirk hidden by the rim of her glass. “Better do it soon too before your chance disappears.”
“Dunno what you’re talking about.” Zoro tried to sound casual but her second remark had made him tense. “Definitely don’t know what you mean about my chance either.”
“Oh please, most of us know you have a feelings for them, we’re just shocked you never made a move yet.” Nami kept her gaze steady on the swordsman, trying to get him to finally see sense. “But now Sanji’s patience has run out. Says if you’re going to be such a coward about it all he’ll finally do what he’s wanted to for ages.”
“Hah!?” Zoro shouted a little too loudly, even drawing the attention of the group below. You looked up at Zoro curiously, watching as he abruptly looked away from the collective stare to focus on Nami with a harsh stare, turning his body slightly to face her. “What’s that shit cook think he’s planning? When the fuck did he call me a coward? I’m gonna slice his smug face off.”
“Wow…for a second there I’d think you were jealous at the thought of them actually falling for Sanji’s charm.” Zoro scoffed and rolled his eyes. The only charm the cook had in his opinion would barely fill a thimble. There was no way you’d fall for that over the top, dramatic, overused nonsense that he threw at anyone with a pulse. Would you?
Cautiously Zoro looked down at the scene again and his face contorted in disgust to see Sanji’s arm loosely over your shoulder as the two of you laughed at something Usopp was telling the group. Feeling his stare, Sanji glanced up and smirked at Zoro, lightly squeezing your shoulder in affection to you but in also brazen challenge to Zoro. Sharply Zoro turned on his heel and walked down the small staircase, approaching you silently. You looked up at Zoro with a smile, excited that he was finally going to join you all but your smile lessened and became a look of concern to see how serious he was. You were about to ask if he was okay but he spoke first. “I need to talk to you in private.”
Immediately you got to your feet. You knew Zoro well enough to understand he was a man of few words and if he needed to speak to you in private then it was serious. Silently you followed him below deck, only stopping when he felt he was a safe enough distance away from the nosy crewmates left above. You let the seconds tick by, allowing Zoro take his time in voicing his thoughts but seeing him so tense made you worry. Gently you lay your hand on his arm in a way to reassure him that you were there. A gasp left you as Zoro turned suddenly and pulled you against him. His hand fell to your waist as he stared at your parted lips with growing hunger.
“Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?” The words dropped from his mouth barely a whisper but he was so close each syllable lightly grazed your skin. Unable to speak you could only nod in consent and sank headlong into the kiss Zoro secured on your lips.
LAW
When Law was captivated by his research, medical procedures, and all over Captain duties, you had to take it upon yourself to keep yourself busy. Normally that was no issue when you were on the Polar Tang and had your own duties and routine to occupy your mind with. This time was different. After running into the Strawhat crew on Punk Hazard you could only sit back and watch as Law proposed an alliance with the rival crew in order to take down one of the four Emperors. You’d been taken by surprise seeing as your Captain and boyfriend didn’t tend to play well with others who weren’t on his crew. Quickly you saw him begin to regret his offer when events began to unfold and Law found himself being dragged along by Strawhat’s whims rather than his planned course of action.
Everything had worked out in the end though and now you and Law were on the Thousand Sunny, set for Dressrosa. Even though Law wasn’t on his own ship, he quickly made himself at home in the ship’s library and began to indulge in the large collection of books now at his disposal. Knowing you wouldn’t see him anytime soon you had to explore the ship for something to catch your attention since according to the allied crew you were a guest on board and didn’t need to do chores. It went against your nature. You wanted to help and be useful so you still offered each day you were on board. “Aren’t you tired wearing that all the time?”
You turned at the sound of Nami’s voice and immediately you looked down at your boiler suit. It was your normal clothing for the Polar Tang so you really hadn’t considered wearing anything else. Plus being on another crew’s ship it made you feel more at home, unable to stop yourself from missing the others that you knew you would reunite with at some stage. Casually you shrugged and smiled at the red-haired woman. “It’s comfy.”
Apparently that wasn’t a good enough answer because the next thing you knew, Nami had you dragged to her room and was throwing clothes at you to try on while telling you that you were far too good looking to hide everything under so much fabric. Mostly you went along with her whims because it would be a way of taking up your unending free time on the ship. Another part of you also got drawn into how nice some of the clothes felt and looked and it was harmless fun.
Law finally dragged himself from his spot in the library and stretched out his stiff limbs. Despite his medical knowledge, he still ended up sitting in the most unwise positions that would leave his back aching and neck tensed. With a groan he made his way out onto the deck only to stagger to a halt when he saw you wearing something completely different to what he was used to you wearing but he was in no way complaining. He loved how you looked regardless but you were breathtaking. His adoration for you was suddenly soured when he saw the others fawning over you. The cook he had no issue with, but to see the sniper blushing and even the swordsman openly talking to you made him glare. Then Strawhat had to push his luck too. “You’re so great! You know you should stay on my crew!”
Law’s room activated and you were promptly swapped to now be pressed close against Law’s side. Before you could reprimand your boyfriend for being rude you were pulled below deck to the library once more and pushed against the door as it closed. You looked up at Law with widened eyes and quickened heart rate, the look in his eyes making your mouth dry and skin warm.
“It’s bad enough that I see you looking so good. I mean do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?” He began lowly and you shuddered slightly. “But then I have to see them trying to get too close to you and Strawhat thinking he’s worthy of having you? Ridiculous.”
Law quickly closed the distance, using his frustration and jealousy to spur him on, kissing you passionately.
KID
Kid had no problem with people looking at you appreciatively. I mean, why wouldn’t they? Look at you. It was clear to anyone with any sense in their skulls that you were one of the hottest people about. For him to see the looks you deserved filled him with a smug sense of pride because you only had eyes for him. He was the lucky bastard that got you all to himself in the ways that it mattered. So they could take their pathetic glimpses and live with the fantasy of picturing what it was like to be with you because he got the real thing. However what he didn’t like was to watch anyone to touch you in a way that wasn’t friendly.
On this occasion he sat in the darkened corner of a bar having to watch as you were being talked to by some drunken lech. You’d gone to the bar to collect the next round of drinks for the crew when someone approached. At first Kid had shook his head and smirked at the poor fool’s attempt to flirt but then he drew too close to you that Kid disliked. Still he knew you could handle yourself so he just had to grind his teeth and wait for you to expertly disengage yourself like you normally did. However you seemed drawn into the conversation with this man and Kid’s eyes narrowed.
Immediately he stood with the intent on breaking things up but stopped when you quickly met his gaze. When the drunk turned his head to order another drink you had time to mouth ‘Marine’ to your boyfriend. Kid remained standing and glanced at the man warily, now seeing why you were being careful with him. Slowly he drew closer, making sure his movements were careful and silent while you kept the Marine’s attention effortlessly. Kid knew it was an act but seeing you indulge the man more made his anger grow. Just as Kid stepped behind the Marine, he drunk set his hand on your thigh and squeezed it while leaning closer to your face. “Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?”
Kid had planned to just give the bastard one quick hit to knock him out but seeing that and hearing the words spill from his mouth, he snapped. Reeling his metal arm back, he tapped the Marine on the shoulder. When he turned, his hulking fist connected with the man’s face sending him launching off his feet and slamming painfully against the bar’s wall with the impact smashing the glasses and bottles. Seeing the Marine slumped on the floor helped Kid’s pent up rage but it wasn’t enough. Quickly he grinned at you and pulled you into his arms so he could throw you over his shoulder and leave the bar, no longer in the mood to drink. You stayed happily on Kid’s broad shoulder with a growing smirk as you listened to his jealous mutterings the closer you drew to the ship.
When you were finally set on your feet on the ship you turned in Kid’s hold that he refused to let you out of and smiled up at him expectantly. When Kid got like this you could practically time the sequence of events and this was your favourite part. Kid stooped down and with a low groan kissed you, devouring your taste and consuming your thoughts with only him while letting your magnetic presence and intoxicating touch leave him wanting more. You were the only one for him and by the morning should anyone look your way in appreciation again they’d spot some pretty marks on your neck to admire too.
LUCCI
Lucci was a master of his emotions for the most part. He could adopt a personality and live it perfectly for the purposes of a mission and then discard it when it was finished. He could keep his true nature at bay should he need it but in the freedom of Cipher Pol’s base he can just be himself. With powerful strides he walks down the corridors only to stop outside one of the training rooms in time to see you land a kick against Jabra’s stomach. Quickly he recovered and sent an attack your way. You managed to dodge it in time but Jabra caught you by surprise by sending a followup attack and knocked you to the ground, his hand at your throat to keep you pinned down.
For a moment you let your body go slack in a sign of surrender and the second you felt Jabra’s grip loosen you acted, disentangling out of his hold and attacked, taking advantage of his moment of surprise. Just as you were getting into the rhythm of the fight another agent appeared beside Lucci. “Jabra! We have a mission! Did you forget or something?”
You and Jabra paused your fight and you scowled at your sparring partner. You wouldn't have asked him to train with you had you known he would have to cut it short for a mission that he apparently knew about. Jabra briefly glanced at Lucci and quickly threw his arm around your waist before answering his mission partner. “Nah, didn’t forget. I just got a much better offer.” his wolfish grin spreading when he spotted Lucci’s eyes narrow at the comment. You however rolled your eyes and stepped out of the older agent’s hold. “We’ll pick this up when I get back, right?”
“We’ll see.” You told him dismissively which only earned you a quick wink before he left, leaving you alone in the training room with Lucci who remained leaning against the door, looking at his shoulder in disgust when Jabra had the nerve to brush past him on his exit.
“Didn’t know your standards were so low when picking a sparring partner.” He noted, watching you critically. You tilted your head at him curiously and slowly smirked.
“I’ll be fighting degenerates and unsavoury people out in the field, I wanted someone as close to that as possible for authentic training purproses.” You explained with a light shrug. “Jabra fits that closely, don't you think?”
Lucci allowed himself a low chuckle and pushed away from the doorframe, while pulling the door closed behind him to grant you both a moment of privacy. Your relationship with Lucci was one ou both didn’t feel like putting a real label on. For now you merely enjoyed the physical and social benefits it brought. You remained still as you watched him approach, your eyes alight with interest and mischief that not even he could find himself immune to. “I can see the logic but I can smell that filthy mutt all over you.”
“Jealous?"
“I don't get jealous.” Lucci growled, his hand setting on your waist, merely a coincidence that his hand covered the precise spot Jabra had touched. Your lips twitched into a disbelieving smile and you playfully nodded, pretending to accept his claim. Lucci’s free hand reached up to skim along your throat, again pure coincidence at the placement before he curled his fingers under your jaw to coax you to tilt your head up. “Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now to get rid of that mutt’s stench?”
“Then do it, Chief.” You said stepping a tiny bit closer. “Let Jabra come back and know for sure that I’m a cat person.”
With a growl Lucci kissed you possessively, hungrily with purpose of doing just as you suggested. His main goal was to wipe any lingering trace of Jabra from your skin and wipe the other man’s name from your mind. He was very aware that you didn’t see the wolf man that way but still it brought out that animalistic conflict in him, the need to be better than him and from your reactions to his kiss he knew for sure that Lucci was the clear winner.
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1. personal synastry and composite experiences and observations
Do not interact if you are a minor. (18+)
Sun in 8th house synastry: I was the house person they were the sun. I definitely developed insecurities I never had before as a result of this connection. With the sun shining brightly on my insecurities, they were hard to ignore and even harder to not project them entirely on the sun. A lot of “you did this to me!” energy. I didn’t consider myself a jealous person until this relationship and a lot of it came from wanting to be “good enough” in the eyes of the sun person. It’s like knowing you have these darker aspects in common and wanting them to see you can bond this way and see them in a way no one can. You also end up pushing limits together. You liked this? Now WE love this. You’re addicted to that? Now WE are addicted to it. Moderation is hard to achieve with sun in the 8th house synastry. It can also bring up insecurities surrounding sex with that person specifically, if poorly aspected. Explosive reactions and emotional outbursts aren’t foreign here. The house person can feel like a vampire being sunburned, with all its ugliness revealing itself from its body because of its interaction with this person. The 8H person wants a full, in-depth analysis of the sun person’s thoughts, intentions, and motivations. The plutonic energy wants to completely envelop the sun, compulsively in some cases, to know WHY they are the way they are, and why the sun presents themselves in certain ways. This is especially true if the sun person did something to hurt the 8H person, who can feel it more than is rational. The 8H person can really struggle with getting over any emotional harm or feelings of abandonment that come from the sun person. The 8H person can potentially resent the sun person for not being able to read them as intently as they could read the sun person. The sex, if and once insecurities are worked through, can bring you so much closer to one another and to yourself. I also feel like any disturbances or intimacy problems between you two can easily be felt by others or there can be blow ups in front of people you know, because the sun is a planet that illuminates wherever the light lands, whether you like it or not. Avoid public fights, because you will kiss and makeup but the damage in other people’s eyes will be done and opinions will be made. The 8H person might be able to see through any facade the sun person puts up, and this could lead to deep discussions that could be extremely healing for the Sun who might have to work through some things. The 8H person can also teach the sun person how to make more money and maybe even encourage them to start their own business. They can be known as a couple that makes a lot of money together. The sun person can also give sugar daddy/mommy vibes and the 8H the sugar baby, even if it neither one of the people involved are rich-rich. This is a highly binding placement. You two might find it difficult or even impossible to separate from each other even if the relationship has run its natural course. You guys are known as the couple that is “stuck” to one another.
Moon in 5th house synastry: *weird* but, for those who have this placement with a significant other, do you love to smell their body odor? I think in the house of children and fertility, it makes sense to love your partner’s pheromones. Something as weird as the smell of their armpits or stinky feet becomes comforting, idk?? This house is also really fun, and you can get a lot of emotional fulfillment out of acting like children together. 5H is ruled by Leo, so I also found that we had a lot of fun putting on “shows” for one another, and sort of making up our own characters and accents to make the other giggle. People are also really excited for the prospect of us having children together, and you’ll have friends volunteering to babysit or be the godparent of your unborn children LOL. Dressing up nice and going out on dates to somewhere with a great ambiance can be a great way to feel connected. Sharing perfume, or gifting each other perfumes or colognes. Loving the scents they wear. Same taste in candles? Candles as gifts. Lots of watching TV together? Having “shows” that feel wrong to watch without the other. Being called pretty by the other means a lot, and being pretty in each other’s eyes makes you feel good.
Moon in 12th house synastry: 12H synastry tends to have an awful reputation, and I get it when it’s a relationship that isn’t meant for you. However, my moon falls in my best friend’s 12H, and it is one of my favorite placements of ours. We have a telepathic connection where we can just look at the other and know what’s up. You preemptively know what will bother the other person and find it hard to understand how other people wouldn’t have assumed that thing would annoy your person. You understand each other’s motives, and can provide the ultimate shoulder to cry on or ear to listen with. When it’s a new interaction it can feel a bit intense, because how are you in my head!!! I feel like you can read my thoughts! It was like that for the both of us. It’s like, when together, both our consciousnesses transported to another realm where we are mutually perceiving something and our thoughts are being put on a radio for the other to listen to. Very spiritual relationship. You KNOW the vibes, and those feelings will be verified through the other person who already felt the same. She will never be wrong in my eyes and I will defend her to the death. We don’t even have to speak on certain days, but we can feel whatever mood the other one is in and check-up on each other accordingly. Whenever we have a strange dream or nightmare, the first thing we do is text each other and try to analyze what it could mean. I as the 12H person also dreamt of us becoming best friends before we formally met. The dreams i would have of her would always be loaded with spiritual symbolism. We also grew up with the same level of emotional attachment to our personal spiritualities and shared religion, which plays a large role in our understandings of one another. Most people just won’t get it, but she always will. She could read my crazy journal entries if she wanted to. 12H moon synastry is just unconditional love. Between friends at least, it feels like a long-lost twin connection. Also, her and I had gotten matching tattoos before we even knew of each other, both of them being for the same spiritual meaning!
Composite Mars in 3rd house: Lots of talking during sex, and lots of car sex— It might sometimes feel like that’s the easiest thing to talk about, or the conversation always steers to that direction. Sending nudes? Sexting. Maybe the only way you two could engage your sexual desire for one another is through sexting, because distance might not permit the full physical expression. If you don’t have a lot of experience knowing the other’s communication style, it can lead to a bit of random defensiveness or perceiving the other as communicating abrasively. I think it can lead to one trying to get reactions out of the other by saying something out of pocket.
Composite Mercury in 12th house: Pay attention to the dreams you have of this person! They will seriously tell you a lot about your dynamic, but don’t take them at face value! Lots of mystical elements to your dreams about them specifically, so maybe reviewing tarot card meanings and astrology concepts can help you decipher the meanings of your dreams. You might find it easier than expected to confide in each other or rant about your brain’s inner workings together. “I don’t know why I’m saying all that-“ or psychoanalyzing each other for fun. Talking about your less-than-desirable attributes. Being honest about your deceptive tendencies or specific lies you’ve told and why. Oversharing things that will usually make other people uncomfortable in the same context (like talking about your exes or failed situationships on a first date). Difficulties communicating when it’s not in person because it leaves too much room for confusion. Deceit is a real possibility though, with someone voluntarily “leaving out details” about their life outside of the relationship to avoid ruining the flow of energy or the dynamic. Having each other saved on your phones under fake names. Having to hide that you’re talking to this person from other people. One of you withdrawing communication to manipulatively make the other think about you more. Taking turns being each other’s therapist. Thinking about each other often but never expressing that, or the extent to which you think of one another. Thinking about the other at night before going to bed. “I started catching feelings for the girl that I’m currently having sex with, so it’s safe to say we don’t talk anymore, unless of course we’re having sex” in Sasquatch .22 by Bay Faction.
Composite Venus in 12th house: There really is a secretive component to this interaction that can feel impossible to bypass. Your family, friends, or society might not “approve” of you two together. One or both of you can be cheating on someone with this person. Only being able to meet up or be affectionate at night or in extremely private settings. The privacy of the relationship can help you open up a lot more than you’d expect to, because there’s no one but you two to perceive the other in this context. No judgments on how you two should behave with one another, so “let’s fully enjoy the moment while it lasts.” No one understanding your interaction or it’s purpose, and you probably don’t understand it either. Sending telepathic love notes. Longing. Intimate and romantic sex that haunts you or catches you off guard. Never wanting to be the first one to admit you’ve caught feelings. Ruining your sleep schedule to spend time with one another. Dreaming about romantically linking with them before it ever happens. Withdrawing once feelings start feeling real. The song “Lips of Angel” by Hinder reminds me of Composite Venus in 12H. “Illicit Affairs,” “August,” and “False God” by Taylor Swift. “Why Can’t I?” by Liz Phair. Gato de Noche by Bad Bunny. Sex by The 1975.
Lilith in 8th house synastry: Wanting to try things sexually with this person that wasn’t necessarily exciting with other partners. “You can do whatever you want to me, and I’ll let you.” Possibly experimenting with or preferring BDSM with one another. That Lana lyric that’s like: You fucked me so good that I almost said “I love you.” It might also be controversial if people knew you’ve had sex with one another. Revenge sex? As in, you two having sex might indirectly be spiting someone else, and it kind of feels like you’re dishing out delicious karma on a surprising silver platter— “lol if only they knew” You two might have fun misbehaving together. Doing what you both know you’re not supposed to be doing can make everything feel better, and even more reason to keep doing what you’re doing. Lana Del Rey in Diet Mountain Dew: “you’re no good for me, but baby I want you.” Wanting to be dangerous together. “Leave me bruised so I can’t forget you.” “Seeing you tonight is a bad idea, right?” This placement somewhat reminds me of a union between the death card and the devil card in tarot, with an emphasis on risk-stained sexual liberation. You can become symbolic of temptation in each other’s lives, so it’s hard to deny your impulses. Toxic by Britney Spears.
-D 🖤🕯
#8th house synastry#synastry#composite astrology#composite chart#12th house synastry#5th house synastry#astrology#mars#3rd house#venus#Lilith#astro observations#astroblr#sexstrology#romantic astrology#relationship astrology#composite Mars#composite Mercury#composite venus#Pluto#12th house composite#witch#witchblr#witchcore#witch blog#placements#astro notes#synastry observations#composite observations#lilith synastry
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Sneaking around | 2
Summary: You had thought you finally managed to repair things between you and jacaerys but he seems to have begun avoiding you again and you begin to think the worst, as your wedding approaches you decide to confront him once more.
w.c: 1.9k
c.w: porn with (minor) plot, oral (m!receiving), p in v, jacaerys is a big idiot again, two idiots in love, misunderstandings, not proofread
a.n: part one for context ! hope you guys enjoy <3
dedicated to my lovelie mootie @aegonswife <3
in the beginning you had though you were imagining things. maybe you were just so busy with wedding prep and were so busy and were just making it up. but after two weeks you had realized that it was true. jacaerys was once again dodging you at all costs.
it was not as drastic as it used to be but you can still tell. he says hello to you but quickly makes up some excuse to be excused, he will sit next to you during dinner but will engage in conversation with anyone but you. at first you didn't notice since you and your mother had begin to prepare for the wedding, it started to dawn on you when your mother expressed that she was meeting with jacaerys at a different time other than you for wedding prep.
“he does not wish to join us now?” she could hear the frustration in your voice and sighs rubbing her forehead, “he says it would be easier to meet apart as this is when he likes to train, i had told him we could move the time but-” “he does not wish to see me.” you look down at the ground in frustration and you hear your mother sigh as she walks closer to you and places her hands on your face gently lifting you up to look at her, “he is just scared my dear i know it, you should just ask him.” “but how am i to ask if he avoids me?”
“how did you get him to talk to you last time?”
it is once again dead in the night as you wrap yourself in a familiar cloak and quietly leave you room and head back down the familiar path to his room. you are not as scared as you had been last time. you don't march with a sense of desire in your steps, instead you are angry. you knock on his door harshly this time not caring for making too much noise.
the door opens to a shocked jacaerys who looks at you alarmed, “sister did you need something,,,” his words trail off as you push past him into his room and cross your arms staring daggers at him. “you are ignoring me.”
he pauses for a moment, fiddling around with the quill in his hand. despite your anger your eyes linger down to admire him and notice the spots of dark ink stained into the long flowy white shirt he was wearing. your eyes drift towards his desk where he must have been just sitting at littered with papers, some crumpled and some full but your eyes couldn't make out what they say. he clearly notices where you’re looking and swiftly moves to stand in front of the desk blocking the letters from your view. “i have been busy-” “but you do not wish to plan our wedding with me?” “that is when i train dear sister,” “ah yes mother mentioned that, and she also mentioned that she suggested to switch the meetings to a different time and you said no.” he looks down in defeat and you scoff at his lack of response.
“i had thought you were better than most men but it seems once you had me you want nothing to do with me.” you turn around and wrap your arms around yourself as you finally let your tears of frustration run down your face.
some beats of silence pass with the only sounds being your sniffling, for a moment you even fear he’s left the room but you soon feel his hands wrap around you and his head presses into your shoulder. “sorry is not enough, begging for your forgiveness is not enough it is all my fault, but you must understand there is no universe in which i want nothing to do with you my heart you mean more to me than anything.”
you press your head against his and you feel his arms grow tighter around you reveling in his touch. “i just wish to understand you.” he presses a kiss into your neck and sighs, “i have been nothing but a fool, out of my own tasteless fear i have once again drove an unnecessary wedge between you and i.” you manage to twist yourself in his grasp to look at him, “fear?” he hums cupping your face in his hands and presses his forehead against yours, “i feared that should i spend too much time with you, i would lose my self.” you pull away and give him a confused look, “whatever are you talking about?” a bright red flush covers his face as he turns away from you before he speaks, “i desire you far too greatly that i fear i cannot control myself around you.”
Ah.
An embarrassed heat flushes you as you take notice of him poking against you and you push your head into his neck, “Jace,,” “it is because i am so weak minded i cannot even act like a proper gentleman-” “Jace,,,” “i am sorry i should grovel at your feet and punish myself-” “jacaerys!” you pull away from him and shake his shoulders lightly and he looks at you alarmed. you have a smile on your face and let out a light laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation cupping his cheeks and pulling him close and give him a peck. “i am just happy my future husband desires me.”
The look in his eye completely changes when he hears you call him husband and his hands quickly move to the back of your head to bring you into a heated kiss. due to the very sudden action you gasp and he uses that opportunity to push his tongue in your move and pull you even closer to him. your hands grip the back of his head and tug on his hair to pull him away from you, his dark eyes stared at you laced with desire and need.
“Allow me to please you this time husband.” he groans as you drop down to your knees and begin to work through unlacing his pants, “you do not have to-” “i want to.” his pants hit the floor with a light thud and you grip him in your hands and press kisses up and down him. he throws his head back and lets out a strained moan as he grips your head. “my love,,” you lick and suck at his bright pink tip as he continues to wither above you. for a moment you think about the irony of it all, a future king, your future king, completely bewitched by you at your complete mercy, “please do not tease me my love.”
your inexperience shows its head as you try you best to put him all in your throat but are unable to left to simply stroke anything left. he definitely doesn’t mind as his knees almost buckle and the grip on your head grows tighter, he is a very vocal man endless praise falls easily from his lips occasionally getting chocked up by his own moans and groans. “i love you, how are you so good at this?” you let go of him with a pop and give him a smile, “i guess i just imagined this far too often as one would say.” he if realizes your mirroring his own words he does not say as much, well he doesn’t say much of anything completely lost in his own pleasure.
You too also get lost in your own pleasure. you can feel your own wetness soaking your thighs, if your hands were not stuck on him you would have brought them down to begin to play with yourself. He suddenly pulls you off him and drops to his knees, “did i do something wrong?” he quickly shakes his head and kisses you. “i simply have somewhere else i wish to spend my seed.”
he leans you on your back and hovers above you his hands eagerly pulling up your night gown leaving you exposed to him. “i would take my time with you my love but i fear i have lost all sense of control to you.” he rubs his dick against your folds soaking himself in your wetness and you push your head into his neck gripping his arms, “please please husband.”
He quickly pushes himself into you and groans in your ear, “gods you’re so amazing my love.” unlike the first time where he had started out rather slow he seems to be desperate today quickly rutting himself against you. You certainly have no reason to complain and let him have his way with you. it was odd to see the usually very composed prince seem to lose all sense of composure, acting not of a prince but like an animal, if anybody were to walk in on the two of you now it would certainly be a show.
“tell me you are close my love please.” you nod your head and he brings his hand down to play with your clit, “please please come my beautiful wife and i will spend myself in you please.” he quickly manages to bring you to your release, shaking and bringing your hands to his head and kissing him as he comes inside you.
the two of you stay still for awhile the only sounds in the room being your pants and his heaving. he slides out of you and you let out a hiss he follows with a quiet apology and lefts you up bridal style and carries you to the bed lightly placing you down before he moves to take the place next to you.
for awhile no words are exchanged between you, you lay your head on his chest playing with the fabric while you cannot seem to drop the smile from you face. he makes you so happy you can barely believe you had been mad at him in the first place. you look back at his desk and remember all the letters on it. “jacaerys?” he softly hums in acknowledgement, his hand lightly tracing your back. “what are those letters on your desk?” he freezes and brings his other hand up to his mouth to let out an embarrassed cough, you can feel the skin you’re laying on heat up. “they are vows i plan to make to you during our wedding, i am struggling a bit,,” he trails off embarrassed and you sit up to look at him, “vows?”
he scratches his neck as he gives you a strained smile, “i wish to express my love to you with words but i am struggling to put them on paper for i love you too greatly.” your heart swells and you lean down to give him a peck not pulling too far away from him before you speak. “i love it.” “you do not even know what it says.”
“i love anything you make, because i love you.”
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd imagine#jacaerys targaryen x reader#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys strong#prince jacaerys#jacaerys targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#hotd jacaerys#jacaerys x reader#jace x you#jace velaryon#jace targaryen#jace x reader#hotd fanfic#hotd x reader#hotd x y/n#house of the dragon fanfiction#house of the dragon fanfic#house targaryen#jacaerys
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Dungeon Meshi is obviously primarily about food, eating, and crucially survival through eating, but it's also focused on other aspects of survival. Sleep, rest, social ties and social exclusion. There's even extensive commentary on things like personal grooming (Marcille’s hair, Toshiro becoming depressed and no longer shaving), clean bathrooms, and other things. When it comes to disability these things are referred to as instrumental activities of daily life (IADLs), which are more complex things like shopping, housework, and cooking, which people need to do to survive, and activities of daily life (ADLs) which are the basic bare bones needs: eating, toileting, etc. Dungeon Meshi is concerned with the logistics of living and finding joy in those logistics.
This is super related to disability! Yes, Laios is autistic, this has been apparent from the beginning. But what does being autistic mean for him and the story? Mostly, it means his desires, goals, and the ways he goes about achieving them are strange, foreign, or baffling. He has different priorities than other people and the way he expresses those priorities are strange. They affect how he socializes, how he eats…
So, it absolutely makes sense that there would be a minor sideplot about activities of daily living and what it's like to be out of sync with everyone else when it comes to prioritizing things. It's Mithrun Time (he's gonna mith all over the place) and I'm so SO interested in the interplay of disability, caregiving and the logistics thereof, and intersectionality & privilege. Who needs care? How do other people feel about them needing care? How do they receive that care? And who do we think is worthy of receiving care and how does that interact with all these other factors?
Bunch of manga and extras spoilers past the cut:
“So, what's wrong with you?”
I see a lot of people talking about Mithrun's non-eye disability as a depression allegory, which I think is true, but I think it's also metaphorically/symbolically both a traumatic brain injury and a trauma response to sexual assault. The sexual assault aspect is pretty clear if you look at any of the symbolism of the actual disabling event: just look at it.
Mithrun is lying in bed and the goat comes to him, lifts him up and puts its mouth on his abdomen and lower pelvis. The eating is sexually charged, as is the particular way he struggles and protests. It's intensely violating, and things that were once desirable are lost. And the dungeon lord group therapy session involves a lot of people talking about the demons like an abusive lover; Mithrun, even though he wanted to kill the demon so badly, still says that they're gentle.
As for the brain injury, chronic TBIs can cause a wide variety of symptoms. Some immediately relevant ones are anhedonia (lack of enjoyment), executive function issues, poor interoception (trouble understanding what's going on in your body), cognitive impairment affecting ability to reason/multitask/plan/solve problems, changes in behavior and personality, depression, agitation, and restlessness. We see… basically all of these, in Mithrun, as downstream effects of the loss of desires. He can't tell when he's hungry, tired, or out of mana; he can't perform ADLs consistently even if he knows he'll die without doing them and dying without doing them will interfere with his long-term goal, he had drastic personality changes, he oscillates between impatient and totally withdrawn.
Brain injuries can also affect more complex tasks and ability to sustain lengthy periods of complex cognitive work. A common example is losing the ability to read and process longer passages; maybe you can read the words but you can't read a paragraph, or maybe you can read paragraphs but now you get a migraine after 15 minutes. Mithrun's skill loss is not related to reading but the effect is similar – he is and was extremely skilled in a particular area of magic, but also disabled in ways that specifically hinder his skill in this area – to teleport things properly you need depth perception and a sense of direction, and he lacks both of these! And while he's still an incredibly effective fighter it seems like he pretty frequently makes those sorts of mistakes.
This is treated often as a gag and it is genuinely funny but it’s also very real, to no longer be as good at the thing you were good at before you became disabled. Kui takes several throwaway gags seriously later on, not just this one. Another ~gag that's not really elaborated on is the bathroom thing, but I appreciate its inclusion anyway, since even if it's presented humorously it doesn't feel meanspirited in a way a lot of “diaper jokes” do. I think people need to talk a lot more about bathroom issues in a wide variety of disabilities, and I think it's nice that a guy I can already picture the “poor little meow meow” posts about also has this issue, you know?
Preferences vs Desire
Even referencing PTSD and TBIs it's hard to really grasp what having no desires means, and the characters don't generally ask, while Mithrun explains it in vague terms. “Desires” is a very broad term and indeed he has lost access to a wide but related variety of things. Unfortunately this lead to him often being treated as nonagentic.
Mithrun does still have preferences, even if he doesn't express them and has no desire which would drive him to seek out pleasant things and avoid unpleasant ones. He'll comment on the taste and texture of foods, for example – sure seems like he has an opinion!
People treat it like his preferences don't matter since he doesn't usually bring them up unprompted, and he's often in situations where there aren't other options.
Kabru seems best at not doing this (and, noncoincidentally, also seems to be the best at actually caring for him; the Canaries have a lot more Resources theoretically than Kabru And Mithrun Eating Monsters And Kabru's A Bad Cook, but although they are loudly distressed by the two of them disappearing it seems to have positively affected Mithrun's general health)
But, uh, acknowledgement that someone has preferences at all is a really low bar to clear and Kabru also doesn't seem to fully understand how Mithrun's brain works. Mithrun’s caregivers want him to eat when they want him to eat. They want him to rest and drink when they want him to.
He lacks the desire for a number of mundane things but also seems to lack the ability to tell when he needs them. He can't explain why he faints; is “I am out of mana” considered a desire for more mana, one that can be eaten? He can't sleep on his own; it's not only that he lacks “the desire to go to bed” but he can't do anything with his own exhaustion, even if he notices it. He comments on the unpleasant taste and texture of several meals; he may be unable to want to not eat it, but he definitely can tell when he dislikes something. But he also seems to be unable to tell when he's hungry.
Kabru will acknowledge these preferences but there's not really other food options, and Everyone Must Eat. Kabru doesn't know the details of Mithrun's condition yet but you can see the immediate frustration here and the way he offers food to him like Mithrun's a child.
Sure, he won't directly communicate preferences, so that makes it extra hard, but you can always just ask, and if he tells you he tells you.
The pathway between opinion and taking actions about it may be lost in Mithrun but the dungeon forces other people into a similar position – it forces them to eat food they don't want to eat so that they can survive or accomplish other goals. We've seen this with Marcille from the beginning. It's difficult with Mithrun because it seems like there is always going to have to be some sort of someone else overriding his autonomy – yeah, he's not hungry but he still needs to eat or he'll faint. Yeah, he's lying about whether or not he's clean but he still needs to wash or he'll die. Yeah, he needs to take a rest instead of keeping moving or he'll faint. But he's not unique in being in a situation where he has to do nonpreferred things. The difference is more that he lacks the ability to independently do anything when it comes to ADLs, preferred or not, which makes it into someone else’s choice and responsibility.
There's also a theme in Dungeon Meshi that comes up a bit of people being pushy about ADLs but from a slightly different perspective, and they're usually right. You see this in Senshi most commonly; he pushes the residents of the Golden City to actually eat even if they don't need to and can't taste it, and while he's correct in that Yaad does get enjoyment from the food even without taste he's still not quite listening to Yaad. Similarly, Kabru is correct in that he can get Mithrun to sleep without a sleeping spell, but he also ignores the way Mithrun says several times that he doesn't expect massage to work. There's a few aspects to this – wild but expected that the elves would choose the “just knock him out with a spell” route, the “easy way” Senshi always talks about when it comes to magic, instead of actually paying attention to other solutions. But also, generally, people know their bodies best, and sometimes even if you're really sure you have the trick to help them you have to listen to what they tell you.
tvtropes dot org frontslash DisabilityTropes
This is going to be a harder section just because it's so subjective; it's nearly impossible to think about the ways in which disabled people are viewed by the people around them/wider society with any degree of objectivity just because there are so many factors that go into it. But I do think Mithrun is consistently treated as relatively nonagentic and there are several ways this can manifest: being treated as a doll/pet/child, being treated as a weapon, and being a surface for people to project onto.
He's framed or treated as childlike intermittently through the manga; scattered about, just a little vibe in the way he's drawn, like the "say aah" above and Pattadol and Cithis through the teleportation scroll :
That's a middle aged man! And he's framed like a toddler getting picked up or misbehaving.
Which doesn't mean they care about him any less; his squad is really fond of him for someone who's technically like their parole officer. How dare you do this to our captain! They love him dearly; this is obvious and he comments on it! They respect him, too, as the leader and as a strong fighter. But loving someone and thinking they're a skilled fighter doesn't mean you respect their autonomy fully.
There's also an element of everyone projecting their own issues onto him; Kabru with their shared Dungeon Trauma. The canaries all suggesting wacky, midlife-crisis desires. He doesn't ever express that he minds any of this, except when they try to stop him from making particular decisions. They also don't often understand why he'd be motivated to do a particular thing, and in fact some of these projections may actually be correct! But while noodles and pottery may be good later-on goals for him, I think it's striking that a) Kabru was the closest to correctly guessing what desire Mithrun might acquire now and he was still guessing the exact opposite (suggesting a desire to not eat Falin but to help Laios, vs Mithrun's actual desire, which was to eat Falin with no thought given to the promise he made at all) and b) it's a desire that actually makes perfect sense with what we know about him, not something totally new.
And, finally, he's a weapon: people are willing to caretake him because he's good at killing things dead. If his only desire is to kill demons dead, it's easy to start seeing that as who he is. I don't think he'd argue that “trying to kill demons” takes up the majority of his life (it's his only goal and he's obsessed with it) but even if there's only one thing that matters to him he has autonomy (in the sense that he can make his own choices about what to prioritize and formulate his own plans) and personhood.
Politics and privilege – who gets to access care?
One of the things we're first presented with when it comes to Mithrun is that he is intensely capable at handling dungeons. Yeah, there's the immediately visible prosthetic eye and the navigation issues, but the Canaries are built up as being incredibly dangerous and skilled, and he's their captain; they all immediately defer to him. He's intense, he curbstomps an entire room of guards, he's efficient, he's brutal, he's strong physically and magically.
In short: yeah, he's very disabled. He's also still very useful.
At the risk of oversimplification, even within his particular disability, he's much more disabled than Marcille is (she lost something relatively simple and easy to miss, she has no catatonia-moment) but less disabled than Thistle, who seems to still have at least one desire related to the king but is still primarily catatonic. It seems like Thistle is not unusual among ex-dungeon lords, even if there's enough noncatatonic dungeon lords to form a support group later. When Milsiril finds Mithrun, she immediately intends to mercy-kill him – this seems to be a condition the elves are familiar with but consider terminal, at least to the degree Mithrun is affected, and people seem unfamiliar what it means to keep living in this state because Mithrun is unusual in that he survives at all. And he's “allowed” to survive initially because he's not as disabled as he could have been (still has a desire) and that desire is useful. They aim him at the dungeons and off he goes. It takes twenty years for him to recover enough to do it, sure, but they're elves. They can wait. He can still be useful.
Relatedly, when he loses the ability to pursue his desire he's immediately much worse off than he was previously.
The no-desire catatonia is something that can recur and the elves continue to not know how to handle it. If Kabru wasn't there to problemsolve I think he'd have just… stayed there with his increasingly distressed squad.
Speaking of his squad, there's also a fascinating power dynamic going on with just the inherent structure of the Canaries; criminals are assigned as his caregivers. There's the inherent unfairness to the criminal Canaries about them being given extra duties, this strange rich noble guy who's now their Responsibility. There's so much possibility for resentment in normal caregiving relationships, much less being forced by your jailor into caregiving someone. But there's also an element of the power the prisoner Canaries now have over him and his most basic ADLs and needs. Assigning Cithis to his care is such a can of worms! The dynamics of the situation are frankly awful for both of them; of course she resents him initially. It would be strange for her not to. When Pattadol catches her making Mithrun do embarrassing things, she instantly reminds Cithis of her lower-status – she's forced to care for this nobleman and then forcibly reminded that she's beneath him.
She's responding to having menial, low-status tasks forced on her by trying to humiliate him, and although he doesn't have the ability to care enough to stop her it's still a deliberate removal of dignity. He's the instrument with which she is punished and she punishes him in return (until it's not fun anymore and she understands him a bit more.)
Mithrun is a long-lived race, who has structural power over the shorter lived races simply because of how long they live. The dwarves and elves try to actively keep certain knowledge from other races, restricting their access to technology, and other expressions of distance. Senshi spends nearly the whole first season not listening to Chilchuck trying to explain that he's an adult and treating him like a child, and Kabru repeatedly says that the elves do the same thing (and tbh we see them doing it). There's even the fact that it took him twenty years to recover enough to join the Canaries again; a shorter-lived race might have died from old age in this time, or become too old to work in this capacity, and then wasted away without the drive to return to the dungeons. But they're elves; the other elves can afford to wait, and he's not going to age out of dungeoneering any time soon. Being an elf probably contributes to his wealth in the same way skin color contributes to wealth inequality in the real world.
Dungeon Meshi doesn't really go into race in the sense of skin color much, and Kui is writing from a different cultural standpoint than I am. While tallmen are quite accurate when it comes to skin/hair color (yes, even Kabru and his blue eyes; it's rare but possible) and cultural references, the elves, uh, absolutely are not, both in the sense of “dark skin & pale hair and eyes trope” and sense of the royals having jet black skin.
Still, I feel like race is so connected to care and caregiving in the real-world west that I would be profoundly remiss not to mention it. Skin color might not matter to elves in the racism sense, but it matters to humans and humans are the ones writing and analyzing this story. (And I fully expect as the fandom grows with anime-onlies people will like Mithrun more because he's white (has white features) than they would if he had darker skin, because fandom is also baseline racist.)
I don't think we can just not mention that Mithrun is pale-skinned and both Cithis and Kabru, his primary caregivers over the story, both have dark skin.
Racism means white people are more likely to get good medical care, the type you need to get diagnosed and prescribed caregiving. Racism means wealth distribution is uneven, favoring white people. Race affects immigrants taking on undesirable jobs like caregiving for low pay. Racism is a profound stressor which means it contributes to who becomes disabled in the first place in that it can worsen health outcomes.
Similarly to race, gender may not be very obvious when it comes to this subplot within the story but the gendered dynamics of caregiving in the real world are something I do want to touch on. There's an oft-cited statistic about how men are much more likely than women to divorce their partners when their partners are diagnosed with a serious condition; I don't like relying too much on those sorts of statistics because they can be so misleading but it does gesture at something very real, culturally. Even if men aren't supposed to be caretaken, women are supposed to be the caretakers. Certainly, it's not Mithrun's fault that he can't cook and can't do laundry and probably can't do most housework, but I do also think about all the posts passed around about “my boyfriend who won't do housework.”
Again, none of these privileges make him less disabled and less in need of and deserving of care, they're just worth talking about when we talk about caregiving in general.
It's Rotten Work, Even If It's You
People expect disabled people receiving care to be grateful, to accept anything, and to try and make it easier for the caregiver if they're able. Requiring care is an incredibly disadvantaged position, even as actually receiving it can be so tangled up in privilege. Caregiving is tremendously difficult work, it's true, but there's a particular vibe people want from disabled people – all those movies about not wanting to be seen as a burden. Never complaining. Being grateful.
And, uh, well…
Mithrun basically accepts anything his caregivers do, but he's not grateful at all! I appreciate that in a disability portrayal. He'll also lie to and ignore his caregivers, which is Annoying but is definitely an expression of autonomy even if he's probably not doing it specifically to express his autonomy. He's not going to thank you. He's not going to make it easy. He'll accept a lot of things considered “undignified,” and he's not mean or unpleasant in the sense that he's taking advantage or anything, but he's certainly not a model patient.
He's running off back into the dungeons just when you think you've finally gotten him somewhere safe.
There's always a strange tension in caregiving, I've found. It is incredibly intimate but a lot of it is done by total strangers. A number of caregiving tasks are viewed by the wider world as entitled but placing those tasks in the hands of strangers is a remarkably tough place to be in. As a disabled person, I've had to accept my bowel movements being discussed with my parents’ friends, all sorts of being physically moved places not against my will but without my permission, even my pubic hair being shaved off by a stranger (nurse) while I was unable to speak or move. When people are feeding you, making sure you use the toilet, rubbing your feet to make you sleep, helping you with hygiene – people are working so hard to help you. Are you supposed to just accept them doing whatever they want to you?
There's also a dynamic where people will say they don't mind caring for you, they're happy to do it, and then as the years go by and you continue to need care the resentment just builds up. Caregiving is hard work. It's often thankless. The goodness of people’s hearts can run dry, when it's been twenty years and you still can't bathe yourself.
Aaand I need to continue in reblogs, because I'm out of space for images. Please hold. edit: you can find part 2 here
#eat or be eaten#I'm real and I beat myself up behind the Blockbusters#tbh i tried not to talk about myself too much here. but uhhhh caregiving issues are so tender for me#tender in the ouch way not the gentle way#anyway#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi#mithrun
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Their Sexual Tendencies + Traits? (NSFW) - Timeless ⏳
Simply choose from left to right.
(Minors DNI) Nice and simple. What would happen if you got involved? Their tendencies in bed? Intimate behavior? Maybe it’s the one you’ve been ignoring. How about the one you’re with? A future partner? What goes on in their head at night when you’re all they can think about? And if more unfolds? Very TMI. Includes sexual, graphic descriptions and toxic traits.
Must do before you choose: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. You may now begin.
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Pile 1. “I was a bad girl. I did some bad things.” - Jojo Siwa (lmfaooo)
•right of the bat, “karma” from Jojo siwa played
•I get brat vibes from this pile…are you a brat? lmfao cuz your person’s gonna like that for sure
•or maybe you try to hard to be a brat or appear/act like one? Your person loves it regardless
•this person loves dominating, but they can get just as enthusiastic as a sub. The instant switch and role change is actually pretty impressive, since they do it effortlessly
• I get the vibe they do or will do most of the topping work tho. They can have their lazy days, sure, but they like moving
•dare I say this person is the kinkiest out of the three piles
•^^ we’re talking bondage, role play, slapping(? Damn), everything and all over the above—receiving or giving, they can do it all. Fast raw sex and quickies are hot to them esp
• if you’re poly, this person is okay with that. If you’re not, they’re also okay. they just wanna have sex, end of story 🧌
• is down to literally do it anywhere and everywhere
• if this relationship started off as some kind of fwb or anything with benefits, I wouldn’t be surprised
• if you guys are both in a committed relationship, make sure you try to match their energy in bringing new things to the bedroom
• these people are shower masturbators—the sex drive is actually crazy like- slow your horse for just a second damn
•^^ they don’t even have time to masturbate if you’re with each other all the time. I got the image of a couple going on a trip and they’re in a hotel…yk what comes next. If you live together, cue some jungkook music. There’s no makin it out
• if you’re not together due to long distance stuff, a lot of cam/phone sex. It happens so much that you think they’re jobless (and they could be tbh. Tell em to get a job!!!)
• this person gives me the vibe that they’re not really in an occupation that demands much. It feels like a very lax, low demand and energy job OR they’re a model for something and they make money through content like that
• this person is reallllly good looking tho. It’s how they can get away with a lot of things
• their maturity level is kinda questionable I wont lie…I think you need to teach them some boundaries
• they could take a while to see their faults? Maybe they don’t wanna see or they’re too oooh la la in the sky
• can come off as quite careless. Can even be clingy
• also very prone to peer pressure or self-sabotaging behavior
•avoids conflict like the plague
• open to all body types as long as your face is cute. I think they likely prefer people who don’t look like they’re freaks in the sheets ykwim? The duality is prob what gets em going. But then again, I think anything gets them going. This person is a true horndog of nature
• (I, personally, as Teddy, the reader, feel like I should include why they’re like this—craving physical intimacy so much, but there’s this brushing off/dismissive energy like “forget it they don’t need to know- let’s just have fun and shiii”)
•^^ (if I rephrase what I wanted to include, it might be better. They prob grew up with a lot of siblings/other kids, and not enough love to go around, so they were overlooked, OR no-to-low amount of siblings but not enough physical and emotional intimacy and connection from parents/guardians, so they looked towards external sources.)
• doesn’t have too many expectations tbh (idk if that’s a bad or a good thing, but the root of it is that they don’t wanna pressure people to stay with them or force people into commitment)
• ^^if they fall in love with you and yall date, and you leave one day, it’ll hurt so much that they’ll revert back to the thinking of why commitment didn’t always work for them
•childhood couldn’t show them what true commitment was so if you actually express that you want to be with them exclusively, they’ll be so shocked, to say the least. Like “me? Why me? I’m not anything special, lmfao” . They’re laughing it off and will feel nervous so they’ll cover it up by drinking smth (water or anything), but they’re so used to the sentiment of being “nothing special” that they’re numb to it
• ^^ but if they end up falling in love with you (beware of their nonstop horse sex drive), they’ll be a lot more reserved and laid back than before
• they’ll prob be lazier tho ngl. They’ll take days off work just to have sex with you all day
• they make up for this uselessness feeling through sexual activities
• they think like “why touch yourself alone when I’m right here?”
• when they do masturbate tho, they think about you and your body shifting back and forth against the bed. They’re pretty quick tho when it comes to masturbation—I’m guessing bc of impatience and not being able to hold back. They only last long when it comes to sex with a partner
• the body worship is real nice
• most of the sexual activities have one thing in common though, and that’s the closeness of both of your skins. This person kisses your skin so much during sex, and really anytime, feel you up whenever they can. The touchiness is all the time and it’s sweet, but it can always lead to something else
• in this pile, lies a very rare breed. a handful, and really not a lot, will encounter the rare breed partner that also has this high of a sex drive, is confident, has a regular day job, prob tall and slim, is responsible and committed only to you, and will be on board 100% if you ever want to engage in exhibitionist/voyeur activities—extreme (like streaming your intimate moments or camming together)
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Pile 2. *Growling noises.*
• the thing is…you’re just existing 😭
• you don’t do much to piss this person off (most of the time). Some light jokes and messing around here and there but you’re pretty much chillin. (ESPECIALLY when you’re not dating, this bullet point and the previous be the vibe.)
• this person wants you like a predator wants prey, basically. It feels weird to say it ngl, but it’s a very obviously fire energy? Like Leo smth…or a very capable and sadistic Scorpio? They have this dark and mysterious look. Very intimidating, but you prob don’t give this person your time of day—either you don’t care, think it’s weird, or maybe you’re just playing a little hard to get
•^^whatever this person thinks you’re doing, purposely or not, they find it intriguing and you have to be theirs
• this person tho? pile 1 has nothing on this person. My bad, not person—beast.
• very dominant person and very much shows it if you’re exclusively dating each other or in a higher relationship
• they could use some work on their control issues tho. IMPORTANT!!!: this person would NEVER put their hands on you to hurt you out of anger or violent means. No abuse in their household, no, no. (In bed, it’s different but only if you consent)
•^^ regarding the control issues, make sure they’re not obsessed with you bc you’re hard to control. At your highest energy, this pile has a very independent, do-what-I-want energy. You don’t give two shits abt what others think- you dress, look, and act the way you want. You stand up to them when no one has the balls to do it
• very much BDSM. It could get a little tiring—not the person!! The person has hella games and tricks up their sleeve when it comes to bdsm and freaky shit. Tiring in the sense that it just stays in the BDSM realm like dude…break out of it cmon. It’s time to experiment with different menus, not recipes.
• commander type. also choking. this person likes choking. Choking you AND being choked, but they wouldn’t bring up the latter if you never mention it.
• has a LOT of self control…until they don’t. But I think this person loses it very easily bc of their partner—like you needa be punished asap type feel.
• getting off is normal for them, but when they have a partner, most of the time they save it until sex. but if not and you’re not around, they’re gonna go at it, thinking how you should be there, imagining how good you look with your mouth on their parts while you look up at them, praising you about how good you’re doing.
• this person isn’t really simple with masturbation either. If they simply lay down and or sit on their bed and touch themselves, it wouldn’t be as satisfying so they have to go again, preferably touching themselves in a different place—depends on what mood they’re in, they’ll choose a risky, likely-to-get-caught kinda place or a place outside their room, but private.
• wow, verrrry possessive person. Marking you up 😫 In the morning, if you need to go somewhere, they’ll be like “Don’t try to cover it up.”
• This person could be some sort of player? Regardless of who they are, they just have a lot of pent up energy they need to get out of. They def have experience
•honestly, pile 2, this person can get really damn intense. If you can’t handle their heat, it’s okay to get outta the kitchen cuz they’re the ones turning it up and have also broken the ac 😭 the sex is crazy good, but it will take this person a bit of time to actually fall in love with you. Cuz you’re so different from everyone they’ve seen so they’re unsure…weirded out…interested.
• if you somehow get in bed with this person, you’re in for a ride (literally.) after this experience, this person will deadass replay it everywhere, every day, all the time. It becomes an obsession with them (which may or may not be a good thing for you.)
• this person is going to be in your life for a whiiiiile. You might even roll your eyes and be like “whyyy”
• this is the most obvious enemies to lovers trope pile, but it starts smth like that OR you just get annoyed that everyone wants this person and to you, they’re just hot and nothing much.
• it gets wilder— this person WILL try to make you jealous. Shamelessly. (Ick)
• they’d like to receive some mouth-work from you if ya get my vibe. (Which is unfair bc they’re kinda selfish when it comes to receiving pleasure.) if they give it, they give it THEIR way
• ^ you have to put them in their place and show them you’re not someone to be fucked with. The worst thing you could do is leave their life entirely. Even pissing you off gives them something.
• if you’re sick of their shit, they might even let you have a chance of taking it out on them and having your way for once (BUT just so you know, if you do, they’ll take it as you surrendering to them. Like you finally have a weakness or manipulation point.)
• HOWEVER, this person, although very fucking stubborn, is willing to make any and all changes for you. IT WILL TAKE TIME. And only if you’re in love with each other. Maybe they were trying to find someone that was worth their time and more than just looks.
• I will say tho, if you get into an actual committed relationship with this person, the upbringing of this relationship looks pretty toxic. Like the crazy need for control and the unwarranted possessiveness (on their side), especially at points when you’re not dating each other. If you don’t set their shit straight, you’ll fall into the trap and could get a broken heart out of it
• ^^ on the bright side, this encounter/relationship with them will bring you so much personal growth. If you make it out of this relationship in one piece, you’re actually indestructible. And if they’re really willing to change—I suggest noting down their BIG, grandiose sacrifices for you that puts them at some risk—then there’s also a big chance you could have a harmonious and balanced connection
• ^^ why? Bc they know that you’re not superficial and you have substance to you, and they want that. Be wary tho, this person isn’t stupid and knows what strings to pull
• this person could have a tan tint to their skin or brown hair
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Pile 3. “Please let me in...”
• this pile’s energy seems a little closed off. not from your person but from you. I’m feeling indifference, constant wariness, but regardless, there’s always a wall
• you’re prob an introvert and has gotten hurt in the past really, REALLY badly, so you’ve been closing your heart off. There’s a piece of you that still wants to find love, hence your presence here, but you act like you don’t or you don’t show that you are interested in wanting it.
• if you’re an extrovert, however? You may not be TOO keen on sharing things about your life. Open to it, sure…but still somewhat selective
• you would sacrifice everything for the person you love, not that you would willingly admit this verbally. If you have, good for you!! You’re the muse baby
• your person is more likely an extrovert and has tried or IS planning to try to get closer to you/get to know you more. They KNOW you are more than what you show on the surface. They’re the only ones who can see the gems behind the rockiness you show
• they’re a virgin or inexperienced
•^^ I don’t think most of the people who chose this pile mind too much, honestly. There’s a bit of a corruption kink rearing its head in here…not super apparent but it be lurkin in da shadows
• oh they’re a switch hahaha. You can just push em on the bed and they’ll let you do whatever you want to them. They’re not complaining at all tho—just lock in on your target and DESTROYYYY 😈😈
• almost a puppy like energy to them—ALMOST. Almost. Bc they have leader vibes but a nice leader. Maybe not respectable by all…but most. Like one who seeks the best for the team but bc they’re not “alpha” or aggressive enough, it can be tough to get people to take things seriously. But eventually people do. Maybe even out of pity.
• I get the feeling this person had to be very in tune with their parents’/guardians’ feelings (I’m getting anxiety or just freaking out over messes and stuff) — maybe they’ve also grown with grandparents? Or have had the presence of their grandparents be very significant in their lives?
•^ bc of this they will most likely be vanilla in bed. I don’t even think they’ll lust after you for a while man I mean, outta respect yk? And also bc it doesn’t feel right to them. It’s not the first thing or one of the first things that come into their mind when they think about you
• ^^ you basically have to tell them what to do, what they can and cannot do too. They’ve had to be so involved in taking care of everybody with an undying kindness to them that they don’t really know where boundaries begin. They’d never wanna break your boundaries
• ok this does not mean that your person is a nice white male, btw!! I keep seeing a salesman, wearing a baby blue button up and khakis, brown hair…this person seems so average? — this could mean that they’re doing everything they can to make others happy and totally not paying attention to their own. I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this person cry in public, but if you make them cry in bed? Hey, go for it muahahah
• it will prob take a while to get them to be comfortable with thinking about you sexually. If they have to relieve themselves, they try to channel this energy into workouts or something physical that gets their mind off of you in that way. Inevitably, the idea of you in bed will pop up, but they’ll shake it off. It’s not even holding back—they just don’t wanna “disrespect” you and see you as an object (but like I said, if you want them to treat you like one in bed or smth, you have to let them know and say it with a lot of conviction. This person is very mentally bullheaded so it’s hard to break into them like that)
•I think they let a lot of things happen bc they’re that empathetic, or they just don’t have the energy for the chase. Like think little kid stealing from a shop, they’ll prob be like “hey kid- ah…” *sighs and scratches back of head as they watch the kid run away with said items*
• if you’re not interested in this person or blatantly ignoring them, they’ll really try to get you (but in a nonstalker-ish way) which is good!! They just want your attention really. They’re pretty much awestruck by you, ESPECIALLY if you ever go to an event and they see you all cleaned up and dressed, they’ll check you out and zone out mid convo I swear. You actually render them speechless.
• (now…we get to some of the graphics.) This person is not a serial masturbator, I will say. Once a day, max. If you’ll allow them, they would do more. They could honestly go all day if you made them. If this person works in an office and you make them soooooo desperate, they would hide somewhere, perhaps an empty room and just start finding heaven. Very quickly too. Quickly and (trying to be) quiet. They’re pretty on top of things and responsible, but if you just tell em what to do, it will be done. They even clean after their mess too (if they do it in public? Cleaning up fast due to freaking out). Like “oh god, what have I done…” They’re super fucking clumsy too and don’t have too good of a recovery in public tho. For example, if they run into someone they know, RIGHT after coming out of the restroom? Red, hot face, sweat all over their neck. Stuttering and shit when they try to say hi to the said acquaintance. When they touch themselves, they don’t use toys (which is very sad. You gotta spice up their lives. They’re open to it. If you’re not the one with spice, they’re also okay with it. And if you’re both okay with vanilla sex every time, feel free!) This person just uses their hands, but LIES DOWN. They like to relax, face the ceiling, close their eyes, and think slow vanilla things…
•might be tmi, but when they touch themselves, it’s kind of inhibited…and not as fast as people do when they’re abt to cross the finish line, yk? Like either long edging sessions or never letting themselves climax sometimes, or rubbing/pressing very hard and still but not fast(?) when they cum…if you know what I mean? Idk if they’re doing it on purpose or if they’re not too experienced, or if they think they don’t deserve it? Scared maybe?
•no kidding, you could actually do anything to this person. cnc/dubious consent would be hot for them—though, they prob wouldn’t know what the kink is called lolll (you have to make sure tho. Establish boundaries and a safe word) bc they wanna be like “nooooo, don’t do that~~” while you’re all over them. BEFORE or IF you guys ever step into that stage tho, they’ll think about simple things if you do allow them to think about you sexually. Like you on top of them, slow grinding, soft touches, helping them out, mutual masturbation. there’s a little part that is innocent and doesn’t know how to step out of that or where to start when it comes to the more kinky stuff.
• it’s funny bc even tho this person has had a lot of experience outside, within a team or jobs, or clubs, etc., they’re so…malleable?? LMFAO 😂 crazy ass word to use but YES. you can throw them around like a damn doll and have them do this and that. A bit of hesitancy, but they know their main purpose in life is to serve :)
• but like I said, they’re a switch, so not only can they think abt you taking control (softdom energy), but if they think abt being on top, they think about slow, loving sex yk? Like slow grinding- oooh, yeah. that really gets them. They’re the type to milk themselves till the last drop too btw. Til. The. Last. Drop.
• also, most of the partners are not a loud moaner. They’re quiet, likely bc they’ve had to force themselves to be quiet in the household they’ve grown in. If your person is a loud moaner, they’ve grown unashamed of their sexual needs and have developed a healthy relationship with that aspect. If you’re with a person who’s like this and moans loud, congratulations!! They have become comfortable in their skin and you have made it so 🙂↕️👏👏 If they’re still quiet, def some insecurity bc of growing up with limiting beliefs or having to live with a lot of people in childhood. If you want them loud, you have to encourage it out of them. They’ll be pretty fuckin shy about it though. You realllly have to pull it out of them.
• bonus: if they’re loud, they’re a slut 😂😂 like a secret slut, yk? (this might be a bit darker so don’t read if you don’t want to—this really only applies to a small portion of people here—but chances are they get off…on being ashamed and self-degradation? A big example is being ashamed for engaging in sex/sexual activities? Like a masochist, “this is so dirty, I shouldn’t be doing this…” but proceeds to do it anyway bc they can’t help themselves?? And they likely degrade themselves while getting off. These people may secretly be content creators for this type of thing but appear angelic in real life OR they have potential to. Like them faceless whimper creators lmfaoo. Listen, hey…if you get with one of these people, you a winner winner chicken dinner
•there’s a big chance most people in this pile or the pile’s person feels ashamed or very guilty about the whole sex thing and masturbation; if you’re looking to improve your relationship with sex or relationship with this person, you have to help each other overcome this fear. It doesn’t matter who asserts themselves to the task. It requires the both of you at the end of the day. And boyyy is it gonna be hard- (…anxiety makes it hard for you to get aroused/stay aroused/reach orgasm tho 😮💨 the more you know…). No man, it’s gonna be so awkward—palms-sweatingly awkward. Breaking news, you might have to be the assertive one here. Your impatience could get the best of you and in that case, you’ll guide them. There are so many things that could go wrong in this situation of awkward pre-sex, but if this person has shown their worth to you and you actually trust them, a lot of it is salvageable by your own hand.
• however, if this situation goes south (and not the south we want…) then, this person will start to feel bad or insecure that they’ve hurt or done something wrong towards you, even though they’re a clumsy dummy who doesn’t intend to hurt people and tries hard to do everything right
• ^^ should you ever try to initiate it and try to sex em up again, you’d have to put a bit of work in to convince them, bc they were really open that one time and it was honestly…kinda the first time they’ve gotten so close to doing something THAT vulnerable and revealing. It would feel like they stripped and you didn’t like what you saw, and it was so apparent on your face that it broke them. That kind of vibe. A very sensitive person at heart.
• they get really anxious if something goes wrong. It’s probably a trait they picked up from parents/guardians being like that.
• they have SOOO much potential, seriously. But a lot of what-ifs on their mind so they’re playing it safe. Be confident, and maybe even borderline bossy, with them and gradually they’ll open out of their shell. This person is like hot liquid gold, waiting to be molded into your likings 😇
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**Teddy Note: Hi guys!! This is a super long post, but I hope you’ve gotten something out of it. My sexual tarot deck just came in and I’m pretty much obsessed with it already hahaha. Thank you for reading today’s post!! If you haven’t heard, I’d just opened up paid readings, and there is a sexual reading in there that is pretty much like this one, but more individualized towards you and pretty detailed (if you do decide to purchase, that is.) That’s all I gotta say. It’s been pretty intense doing these readings and the partners in these piles are all wildin in their own way 😅 Thank you again! Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! Peace outtt :))
#18+ tarot#18+ pac#divination#pick a pile#pick a card#tarot reading#daily tarot#tarotblr#free tarot#pick a picture#intuition#love pac#pac tarot
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CHALLENGERS — CL16 & MV1 🏓
summary: the line between rivals and friends was blurred. and then you came. MINORS DNI!!!!
word count: 3.5k
tags: charles leclerc x fem!reader x max verstappen, implied cheating, flirting, them being horny boys, 3some vibes, heavily inspired by challengers.
warnings: smut (no sex but... everything else) dirty talking, cheating, cursing.
note: yes i've been obsessed with challengers and i thought the dynamics would look rlly fun on a fic!!! am 100% invested on making this a series! also i'm aware those are padel things in tbe picture but this is just for the cover aesthetics okay!
12:52AM
“You know I can beat him, right?” Charles’ voice sounded rough as he stood against the doorframe, confident smile spread across his lips, arms crossed against his chest, making his muscles stand out. You looked at him then, from your lying position across the hotel bed – one you shouldn’t be on – and shrugged. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
The defiance in your tone registered like a cold breeze across his skin, causing him to shiver slightly yet not break his demeanour as he moved towards you silently, lowering himself towards you on the bed now, face inches away from yours. “I didn’t know you still needed convincing.” Charles noticed how you licked your lips as you stared at his, how for a quick second you almost forgot what you were talking about as your breaths melted into each other. His throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed, both of you so silent it could’ve been a scene from a nature documentary: prey seducing predator, but which is which?
“You asked” you replied, refusing to break the distance first, wanting to prove that you were stronger than he thought, that he needed something from you which he couldn’t possibly get, not anymore at least. You looked at his eyes, its bright colour now so darkened by something close to thrill over what was going on in that moment, a thrill you wanted to suppress. “Just wanted to see how good of a liar you were” Charles bit his lip, smile now growing slightly. Maybe it wasn’t thrill. Maybe it was actual amusement.
“You’re unbearable” you said, now turning your face away from him, rolling your eyes at his sheer arrogance. “You want me” he got up from bed, taking off his t-shirt as he searched for his pyjamas. His back flexed with every movement, muscles stranding out in his glistening skin. He smiled knowingly, because although he could not see your face, he knew you were looking. He always knew.
“Brave of you to think so” you shot back, getting up as well, grabbing your bag from the small armchair placed in the corner of the room. Rushing towards the hotel door, his frame stood between you and it – the ability to breathe, the absence of guilt, the absolution of uncommitted sins. “See, you’re still a bad liar” his bare chest rose and fell in front of you and Charles wished he could say he wasn’t about to crumble before you but that wouldn’t be true either. His confidence was only partially real, for he did not have the strength to do more than this, to test you and push you only this far – part of him knew you couldn’t resist, but he was never entirely sure.
YEARS EARLIER
The country club was boring. You didn’t know why your family insisted on going apart from trying to prove how rich they were, something which got exhausting too quickly. Sitting at the table, you played with the olive in your martini as your dad talked about “business” and your mom laughed about something.
The sun warmed your skin as your bare legs welcomed the heat gladly, the only source of some amusement in that place. It was tiring. Your brain felt like it could explode from lack of stimulation. Minutes passed at the speed of years. You had to do something, quick, or else- “I’m going for a walk” you said suddenly, or a voice said, part of your brain who was even more tired than you thought. Your family stood, staring at you briefly before nodding and continuing their tasks, like robots who were well instructed to continue their mission but not used to abnormalities.
Max was sweating. We would feel disgusting, unclean, even, were it not for how focused he was on the game, on his friend – rival, for a few minutes – in front of him. The tennis ball travelled from his racket to Charles in something near to slow motion for him.
Charles was amused. He always was, for he loved playing almost more than winning. He loved getting under his friend’s skin, seeing how hard he tried to beat him while his careless attitude ate him with each hit he took. There was something god-like about his commitment, his seriousness, that Charles admired, if not even envied. He couldn’t care as much about things the way his friend did – he was passion, Max was reason. That’s the way they always worked, and you could see it in the way they played, hear it in the way they grunted as they hit the ball with their utmost force.
“Okay let’s take a break” Charles said, throwing his racket carelessly on the floor as he walked towards the end of the field, towards his water bottle. Max stood in place, looking at his friend, wondering if he looked as disheveled as him – dark hair glued to his skin, cheeks red and a constant frown on his face from the sun’s insistence on affecting them. “It’s 30-all! You can’t just ask for a break when it’s 30-all!” his complaints were dismissed with a shrug of shoulders. “I just did”
Max inhaled heavily, used to this behaviour yet not immune to how much it annoyed him, and on his exhale, he felt his friend’s hands on his shoulders, massaging them gently. “Relax, don’t be so tense all the time,” Charles whispered, slight irony laced in his tone as he buried his hands in his friend’s warm shoulders from the heat.
“Don't stop now, I was enjoying it” your voice broke through them unexpectedly, causing them to turn their eyes towards you simultaneously. Max stared at you, his eyes locked on your teasing ones. But it was Charles who spoke first, in an attempt to match your tone. “And who are you, exactly?” Though you answered his friend, your eyes remained on Max's green ones, on the shy smirk growing slowly across his lips. The hands previously on his shoulders fell across them, brushing his back and finally leaving him altogether, as if melting from the heat. He barely noticed. Maybe he didn’t notice it at all. “I'm Charles” he walked towards you confidently, leaning against the railing that separated the court from the bleachers, one eye closed in a permanent blink due to the sun. You got up, looking, for the first time, at the dark haired man closer to you. Moving slowly towards him as you climbed down the stairs, you felt his defiant gaze, so different from his friend’s yet equally as alluring to you. Now as close to him as you could, your hand on the railing, mere inches away from his arm, you spoke. “And your friend over there?” Charles looked back, as if trying to recall who you could be referring to, prolonging a moment unnecessarily, only to allow his arm to brush against your hand as he turned back towards you, head tilted. “Why do you want to know?” Max’s racket felt cold against his burning skin, the image of his friend's toned back and tanned neck directed towards you, with a short skirt and tight top, causing him to wonder if he was hallucinating, overheating, going crazy. “Charles, she wants us to play more.”
10:45PM
He liked watching you, how you moved so softly, hands caressing your legs as you applied mosturizer. It was almost religious, how your breath guided his unintentionally, how he forgot everything for a few seconds, maybe minutes, maybe hours.
He leaned against the bathroom sink as you placed your foot on top of the toilet seat to better access some parts of your skin you could not otherwise reach. You felt his gaze, still so similar to the one he first used when he first layed his eyes on you – the same intensity, mind over matter debate circulating through his mind as he analyzed every inch of your skin.
“I’m going to win tomorrow” Max said from behind you; a certainty in his voice that made you chuckle with something close to frustration. You muttered an ‘okay’ as you continued your movements, your bracelets clinking against each other. “I’m serious. You know I’m serious” he repeated, frustrated at your nonchalantness, at your dismissal of his convictions.
“Don’t be patronizing” you finally said, turning around as you spread the remains of the cream on your arms and hands. Though you were in underwear and he was clothed, he felt vulnerable in front of you. The ring adorning both of your fingers didn’t make your presence any easier to bear over the years, despite his attempts at pretending it did.
“What do you mean?” he asked, eyebrows now raised, turning his head to follow your frame which walked towards the hotel bed. “You know what I mean, Max” your voice was stern, your head always high despite you being shorter, as if he was the one who had to look up to you, though he hadn’t, not really.
“You weren’t like this with him” he looked down now, his profile outlined by the bathroom lights. You admired his attractiveness, his intentional care to be clean, precise, as close to perfect as he could. You admired how his expressions never oscilated between extremes, or at least how he managed to hide it so well if they did.
“You don’t need me to tell you these things the way he does” you sighed. You had had this conversation, or something close to it too many times to count. “You have the girl, you have the championship, what else do you want, Max? You want me to constantly tell you you’re a winner, you’re a big fucking boy who’s so so good?” you continued, more aggressively than you perhaps intended, though it did not matter, not really, at least.
He looked back at you now, though he dare not move. His throat bobbed up and down now, and you noticed how his knuckles whitened slightly as he held the sink tightly. “Maybe I do” it was almost a whisper, the way he said it, trying to hide from the attention he so craved, his body manifesting more than he wanted to show.
You looked further down his body, to where your words seemed to affect him most, though he remained looking at you. You admired his silent boldness in contrast to Charles’ loud one. "I chose you, Max" your voice sounded velvety to him, almost driving him insane as he felt his cock hardening. He felt ridiculous. Maybe he was; his obsession with your approval was also an obsession with beating Charles' appeal to you. He might have won many battles but Max had won the war.
YEARS EARLIER
Charles was better - better looking, better skilled, and effortlessly so. Max thought all of this as he stared at the back of his friend's slightly burned neck, standing behind him in front of a bedroom door.
"Ok so, let's not fuck this up" Charles said, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for a match. "She clearly wants us"
"Us?" Charles turned around at the question, incredulity written across his face. "Yes, us. Now which one she wants more... We'll find out"
Before he could protest at his friend's unapologetic confidence, the door opened. You stood there, oversized t-shirt being worn as a nightgown, smiling at the two boys.
Both of them frozen, lusting over you so obviously it was almost insulting, were you not turned on by the way their gaze explored your body. Charles had a signature smirk that did not care to hide where his imagination was roaming as he stared at your bare legs; Max, on the other hand, was overcome by a darkness that almost intimidated you, studying every inch of your body hungrily.
"You're just going to stand there?" you asked, half laughing, waking the boys up from their trance. They both rushed inside excitedly, causing you to giggle subtly. It was flattering, how much they seemed to crave your sheer attention.
“So…” you asked, moving to sit on the carpeted floor, trying to make them comfortable – which didn’t need much effort, as they seemed to make themselves at home promptly, Charles’ unbuttoned shirt exposing his chest to you, and Max’s own t-shirt was so tight it left little to the imagination.
“You liked to see us play” Max started, a newly found confidence reaching him, a smile matching it perfectly. Maybe you were the one to give it to him, your eyes landing on him as if daring him to speak, him specifically. Charles’ opened up a bottle of a cheap drink he found at the liquor store they had ran to just hours before, as they realized they might actually have a chance with you.
“I did” you answered with a nod, now looking at Charles, who offered you a glass, your fingers brushing his purposefully.
“So much that you wanted more” Max continued, so factual it could pass as arrogance – though it resulted in a blush from you. You admired his sudden calculated boldness, the way he brought the cup to his lips after saying those words, as if he had commented on the state of the weather.
“And you gave me more” you replied, trying to match his – maybe their – tone.
“Oh, we haven’t given you nearly enough” Charles now stepped in. He couldn’t help himself, not with you in front of him, not with the small room closing in on him as he felt your need grow along with his, along with Max’s, along with the cups and the drink and the sheets and the carpeted floor.
“You two do this a lot?” you asked, daringly, though the question had crossed your mind throughout the day. Was this enticing to them? Sharing a woman, pleasuring her together, driving her mad with their games, their touch and words?
They let out a soft laugh together, almost synchronized. They were both beautiful, though in opposite ways – Max’s features were hard despite his soft, quiet demeanor, while Charles’s were softer, more carefully sculpted despite his own careless behavior.
“What, go after the same girl?” Charles asked, looking at Max, who looked at him as well. They found it amusing and rather ironic, really. Everything was a competition to them, even if nothing got in the way of their friendship. What made you especially exciting was how they both wanted you, and how both of them were aware of that fact. They both know the game was on the minute you showed up, like a match they fought in the court.
Upon your nod, Max decided to speak up. He had to; it was somehow agreed and decided who would say what, an unspoken rule he seemed to have made with Charles but couldn’t quite remember. “No, not at all” he laughed, cup now empty as Charles grabbed the bottle and filled it some more.
“What he means is… You’re just that attractive” the brown-haired man spoke. Was he flirting with you, or were they both doing so, even if it came only from his voice? You couldn’t help but feel your whole body responding to how they looked at you, how they seemed to crave you with indescribable need.
“What about you two?” you asked now, blaming the alcohol – though you had barely drunk anything. Their eyes went from you to each other again, awkward and rapidly, as they blushed slightly.
“No, I mean… no we haven’t” Max said, causing a soft chuckle to come out of Charles, his friend’s shyness over the topic making amusing him. It’s not like they haven’t thought about it – not at all – but they hadn’t told each other this. This concept lived in their heads, and none of them dared to bring it up, though they had seen each other naked and crossed lines most so-called friends probably wouldn’t. But neither of them had the conversation about what it meant, or what it could mean, because they didn’t feel the need to. Not until now.
You shrugged it off, finishing your drink in a single gulp. Looking at those two men, you realized you couldn’t quite decide what to do next – you wanted to do so many things that felt too forbidden to speak.
You looked up at Max, his eyes so needy it made your blood pulsate in your veins, the certainty that he would do anything for your touch right in that moment causing you to shiver. Slowly, you moved towards him, his face so close to yours that he dared not move, not until your hands reached his neck and pulled him towards you, kissing him.
That seemed to shift something in him, his own arms holding you as if scared you’d leave, as if wanting to consume you all, taste all of you. His hand instinctively grabbed your waist, though you knelt on the ground and couldn’t – wouldn’t – go anywhere.
“Oh, fuck” Charles said, looking at the both of you. The sight should make him jealous, but it did quite the opposite. He felt aroused, more than he wanted to admit, watching Max controlling your body and movements, eyebrows furrowed from pleasure, as your own lips moved messily and erratic against his, not caring about how it looked. You were putting on a show for him as you savored all of Max – Max was simply savoring all of you, for he had forgotten his friend was even there.
You pulled away, however, now deciding you had to try the other man, who seemed to be in a state of pure bliss over you, your attitude, your movements. You barely moved towards him – you didn’t need to – as he rushed towards you his hand resting on your thigh and grabbing it tightly. He was more aggressive, more assertive and confident in his kiss. He didn’t let go of himself the way Max did, but then again he barely held himself back at all when it came to you.
Max was staring. He knew he was staring but he couldn’t look away. The sight was erotic, something out of his deepest, darkest fantasies – your hair being slightly pulled by Charles’ strong grip, your own hands on his cheeks as his tongue travelled across your mouth. Suddenly, his kissing went down to your neck, and you held him there as you looked directly at Max.
Just your look could have driven him insane, right there and then, but he wouldn’t let it happen. He was hungry for more of you, more of whatever was going on, wanted it to last as long as it possibly could. “Come here” you called for him, who obliged immediately.
At first, he mimicked Charles, but soon his mouth was on yours again and you felt both boys’ mouths on your body, the amount of sensations fogging your mind as you let them both consume you. You pulled Charles mouth to yours, joining the kiss you were sharing with Max. The three of you kissed – messily, sloppily, completely letting the primal, animalistic part of you loose.
You wanted to touch yourself. Wanted them to touch you, feel how wet you were, savoring all of you. You wanted them to touch each other for you – for your gaze, for your entertainment and fulfillment, the way they were doing so now, as you pulled away and watched their own mouths against each other.
Max was hard. He couldn’t think anymore, dizzy from the caresses he was feeling on his body, from the insanity of the moment, from everything and nothing. Charles was drunk – drunk on the intense rush flowing through him, from how hard he knew he was, from how fucking spectacular everything seemed in that moment.
You were in complete bliss. The two men before you were in absolute awe of you, yearning for you with fervent need, letting themselves go to the point where they even yearned for each other. It was time to stop it.
“Okay” you said, snapping both of them back to reality instantly. Both Max and Charles were shocked at how they felt nothing close to shame over the moment. In fact, they felt exhilarated, ready to keep going, to prolong the moment with each other, with you, forever. “It’s time to go” you continued, watching the glow disappear from their faces as they breathed hard, chests falling and rising rapidly. “What?” they asked in unison, something close to innocence returning to their faces.
“We’ll do this again, right?” Charles asked, getting up after you did, with Max following. He was aware that he was hard, his cock rubbing against the fabric of his boxers and shorts uncomfortably. And he was also aware that you were turned on, though he could only imagine how soaked you actually were – a picture that didn’t help his situation.
“Sure” you answered, seeing their gleeful faces one last time before adding, as you walked them to the door “one of you will. The one who wins tomorrow”, closing it on them before you could see the smile turn into a frown.
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