#but I also can’t help but hope for a nice resolution

[legokingfisher]

Please please let them reunite smoothly one day

[inbarfink]

So one of the cool and interesting ways ‘Steven Universe’ used to try and balance being both a series of 11-minutes episodes that each have their own satisfying emotional resolution and being an overarching story with complicated character arcs that take multiple seasons to resolve is the… I’m going to call it the ‘Not Quite Right Lesson’ episodes. Episodes where a character kinda learns a Very Important Lesson… but a more careful and retrospective look at the situation shows that what they learned is not Quite the Right Thing for them. They internalized something in that adventure which just ended up causing more Emotional Troubles for themselves farther down the line.

‘The Test’ is the most classic example. 

As a standalone thing, it’s just a sweet episode about Steven learning to accept that his caretakers are also flawed and confused and figuring this shit up as they’re going along just like he is, and then doing a nice thing for their sake.

But looking back at this episode, it is quite obviously the nadir of Steven appointing himself as the Family Therapist and repressing all of his problems so he could better help the Gems’ with theirs. Like, there have been some early warning signs for this Complex, but this episode is the one that really cemented that idea in his mind and probably the reason it took him like the Entire Rest of the Show Including a Post-Finale Season to really untangle it.

But… also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the episode right after that, ‘Future Vision’. I think it’s also a very important ‘Not Quite Right Lesson Episode’ for the character of Garnet, and to some extent, the Crystal Gems as a whole. In many ways, it is to the CGs' character arcs' what 'the Test' is to Steven's.

So in this episode, Garnet reveals to Steven the fact that she has Future Vision. She hoped that telling Steven a little bit more about herself and being honest with him will lead to a greater understanding and a greater bond between them… but it backfired. It just led Steven to become a total paranoid, terrified wreck stuck in a total existential crisis.

And it seems like the lesson Garnet learned is that… she should’ve never taken that risk at all. That it would’ve been better for everyone if she just kept Steven ignorant of the truth forever.

Extremely reinforced with the ending of the episode, where Garnet chooses to once again hide an uncomfortable truth (that he just came very close to dying again) from Steven, for the sake of his own ‘peace of mind’.

So, like, the Gems were already hiding uncomfortable truths from Steven since day one. “If you could only know what we really are” and all of that. But I think… With the actual truth of Homeworld encroaching on them more and more at this point of the story arc, this would’ve been a great time for the Gems to reconsider their attitude and actually Explain to Steven What the Hell is Going On. 

But instead, I think Garnet saw the events of ‘Future Vision’ as a reinforcement of the idea that there’s just some things Steven is Better Off Not Knowing. Actually being frank with him about Homeworld and the Diamonds and the War right there and then, that would have just overwhelmed Steven with fears and worries and would’ve ended up doing nothing but hurting him. And Garnet can’t accept that possibility, not again.

And so, Garnet, alongside Amethyst and Pearl, keep all these truths from Steven as long as possible. Only revealing bits of information when they have to. For Amethyst it’s about her emotionally-evasive attitude (also, she legit doesn’t know all of that stuff herself). For Pearl it’s about how she learned to romanticize Rose’s own fucked-up obsession with secrets. For Garnet, with her usually very direct attitude and preference for the most straightforward solutions, I think it’s very much the events of ‘Future Vision’ that were still playing in her head every time she had the choice to actually Explain something to Steven and decided not to. 

But that, indeed, was Not Quite the Right Lesson. While being bluntly and directly told by Garnet all about the Many Ways He Could Die caused Steven to go into an anxiety spiral and an existential crisis for an episode - the way the Gems have been consistently secretive and evasive with Steven ended up causing him so much more emotional grief to him in the long run. As all of these secrets ended up revealed to him in the most surprising, dramatic and traumatizing way possible.

And the secretive attitudes ended up driving a wedge between Steven and the Gems. 

Even after they promised to be more honest with him. Because the sight of Steven crying on the roof that day is one that Garnet can easily move away from. Because Garnet’s Not Quite Right Lesson was almost as difficult for her to unlearn as Steven’s own. 

But after the big confrontation at the start of the Zoo Arc, Garnet ended up being the most upfront about the Crystal Gems’ history. Almost overeager to share what she knows about the past.

I mean also, again, Amethyst just has less to tell and Pearl is hiding secrets for reasons beyond her control - but I think it’s also important to consider from the perspective of Garnet’s arc.

Because the fallout of the Pink Diamond Reveal is very much centered around Garnet (or, well, Ruby and Sapphire). That was the Truth that was hidden from her 'for her own good'. And at the end of the day, despite all the grief that unveiling that truth has caused

It has also brought them, all of them, a lot closer.

There's a reason why 'the Truth' is Garnet's Final Missing Piece in the movie. It is as central to her character arc in the series as Lesbian AngstTM grief over lost love is to Pearl.

And still, some remnants of the Trauma of 'Future Vision' remained...

After all, even the very last episode of 'Future' was centered around the Gems once again trying to hide things from Steven (at that case, their turmoil about him leaving) for his own sake

Even though it once again just caused Steven a whole lot of grief.

It's maybe notable that at the end of this episode, Garnet, once again, tells Steven what's waiting for him in his Future...

[astroismypassion]

Composite and Synastry chart real life observations by @astroismypassion

Credit to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

🔴 Moon square Jupiter in Synastry chart: I just didn’t enjoy that one as much. Especially if you have positive Moon Jupiter aspect in your individual Natal chart (sextile, trine), you are likely to not like this as much. Positive is that you can be much more realistic than usual and you have a very realistic grasp on who the person is. You don’t idealize them, put them on the pedestal. Negatives: there are a few actually, you probably live at a distance from each other or even whenever this person is in your home, you could feel like they are at times in a different place mentally, only physically present with you, but the mind is somewhere else. Likely not hanging out as much in each other’s home, usually out in the city exploring new places. A LOT of rationalizing of feelings happening. There is present the feeling of “false hope”. If this is a crush, person can do something really sweet, but in your mind you’re like “can’t have up hopes up”, because usually it’s just a kind gesture or they are being nice and friendly. You feel like exaggerating emotions or being overly dramatic is something that isn’t “allowed” or well accepted in this connection. Hence again rationalising emotions, feelings and gut reactions is likely to happen. Jupiter person feels like how Moon person expresses their feelings is just not one of the ideal traits they are searching for in the long run. This can also happen that Jupiter person might not want to move in with the Moon person. Jupiter person wanting to keep their own place or living on their own.

🔴 Mars sextile Mercury in Synastry chart: Mars person is usually more communicative. Mars person can also start majority of conflicts with Mercury person. Mars person might not like Mercury’s friends, on a few, if it’s positive aspects (sextile, trine). Mars person feels like Mercury person doesn’t communicate enough and not regularly enough with them. Mars person feels like they need to rationalize behaviour or reactions, which results in “walking on eggshells” with the Mercury person. Usually both like to resolve disagreement on the spot, right away and usually very quick resolution.

🔴 Mars trine Moon in Synastry chart: Mars person encourages Moon person to express their emotions more. Moon can feel peaceful when Mars person is arguing. Moon person react emotionally when Mars person is angry or voices disagreement. Likely working out together or just very active when visiting each other’s home. Both Mars and Moon person are very encouraging of each other to be expressive of needs and wishes directly and openly. Be mindful of unexpected pregnancies, you two are likely more fertile together than with other people!

🔴 Mercury in the 8th house in the Composite chart: Be mindful of the power of words in this connection. Because sometimes you may hurt each other with words so deeply that the wounds won’t heal. Positives: you encourage each other a lot of speak up your mind and the other person always wants to know what the other is thinking. Negatives: there can be outbreaks of anger, crying, accusations or an emotional breakdown at some point. But the thing is that this can be a positive as well, because you will feel like it’s “cleansing”, that you are not only letting go the argument with your person, but also previous past hurts, because you realize that those past feelings that you had as a past version of yourself don’t resonate with you anymore and that they are not relatable to you anymore. So like I said strong cleansing energy with this one, but it is on both ends happening, not just one person. Basically how the other person thinks helps to shape a newer, better version of yourself, you mature a lot. Try not to be too serious all the time, but also not to push their limits. More humour, joy is needed in conversations.

🔴 Venus in the 8th house in the Composite chart: The bond you have with this person really touches you on the inside. If it’s romantic, feelings for this person can scare you a little bit, because it can catch you off guard, when you are the least looking for a romantic connection or when you gave up. But when you cool off a little bit and become yourself again, you are likely to find this connection very positive and uplifting. Beware of placing too high of expectations on your person. If the connection is too intense at certain moments, try to keep your individuality and ground yourself, the person won’t go anywhere. You “melt” into each other, if you aren’t afraid to give up control, you experience what others often miss out.

🔴 Sun in the 8th house in Composite chart: Likely to earn a lot of money together. Probably feel like it was a fated even that you got to know each other. While in this connection you are likely to discover interest in your own life that you will grow very passionate about. Likely to experience career change, a move or start learning about a new topic while in this connection. Your old parts of personality that don’t serve you anymore will be replaced with new ones. Again, a better version of yourself.

🔴 Moon in the 7th house in the Composite chart: Trust here is usually very easy, unless the Moon is aspected by malefic planets. It’a very important that both feel emotionally content, because any divergence from that, the other person starts feeling really bad about themselves too. But if one person is jovial, happy and bright, the other person is likely to mirror back and feel that just as well.

🔴 Venus square Saturn in Synastry chart: Saturn person is willing to take on all responsibility for Venus person, but Saturn person demands and expects respect for it. Venus person likes that they can rely on Saturn person, Venus person can still be dissatisfied with the connection. Saturn person has hard time letting go and Venus person has a hard time relaxing Saturn person. Venus person can benefit from this (if they allow Saturn person to help them relax), since they can become for confident. What you really want is honest affection, but you just end up getting security.

🔴 Venus square Uranus in Synastry chart: Feelings can quickly develop, but you will still have doubts, if the connection is manageable to be long-term or you will doubt whether you will be in each other’s life for years, even if just friends. There is this feeling present that everything can quickly change and end quickly as well. Uranus person can’t really appreciate affection Venus person gives. But instead rather they appreciating affection, they feel trapped in the connection, restricted and like they need even more freedom. Uranus person can also be in a very non-commital era of their life. When Uranus person shows themselves as they are, that is freedom loving, Venus person feels hurt, under-appreciated, but also rejected or ignored. Venus person dislikes unpredictability of Uranus person, instead Venus person needs more warmth and sensitivity.

🔴 Sun in the 6th house in the Composite chart: Both could feel like you didn’t enter the connection voluntarily or wholeheartedly. Could end up feeling used, restricted in one way or another. You could be staying together for practical reasons. Might even stay together out of feeling obligated or because leaving your person could end up making you feel guilty.

🔴 Moon in the 3rd house in the Composite chart: Communication will always be determined by your feelings for each other. You both agree on how to do things. Make sure not to take advantage of your person’s weaknesses in arguments. Both feel immediately hurt if a misunderstanding happens.

🔴 Pluto square Mars in Synastry chart: Both are afraid that you will miss out on something, if you don’t commit to this connection and get involved with each other, either platonically or romantically. Pluto person is very set and focused on their own ambitions, long-term goals and can see Mars person as not as driven, ambitious as they are. Mars person can come across as a bit primitive to the Pluto person. Both are stubborn to make their goals a reality, even when those goals are clashing. Sex is like glue here, because it’s the only thing you both enjoy and agree on. Both need to learn compromise. It’s like Mars person wants to “conquer” Pluto person, but Pluto person can’t be conquered or doesn’t want to be conquered.

🔴 Mars sextile Mars in Synastry chart: There isn’t any competition between you two. Both take great initiative, so this is better for a long-term connection.

🔴 Venus opposition Mars in Synastry chart: If this is romantic, probably both don’t like traditional gender roles and you rebel against that. Venus person can be more vulnerable, feminine than Mars person. Especially, if Venus person is a man and Mars person a woman, Venus person cannot do the same things as they did with previous women. Mars person wants less vulnerable, sensitive partner, but instead desires a partner who takes initiative and works a lot. Venus person want vulnerability and harmony, Mars person wants strength and passion. Venus person also can’t appreciate Mars person’s strength and independence.

🔴 Sun in the 5th house in the Composite chart: Both accept each other as you are and give a great deal of independence and freedom to each other. You have a life outside of this connection and you don’t put pressure onto each other. But too much freedom can quickly turn into lack of interest in this connection.

🔴 Moon in the 4th house in the Composite chart: You are likely to be overprotective of this connection. And if someone say something about your connection you won’t take it lightly. You want to be in your own bubble and want to avoid being irritated by the outside world.

🔴 Moon in the 6th house in the Composite chart: You could feel like there is some sort of emotional neglect happening in this connection. One person can also think that they are giving more than the other. This is actually one placement that thrives when there is a bit of friction, because you will understand each other better after.

🔴 Moon opposite Mars in Composite chart: A lot of letting your bad mood out on each other out of frustration or being dissatisfied with yourself. You may not always be able to give comfort to each other. You may also not share your life with your person, because you think your own interests would suffer.

🔴 Moon square Pluto in Composite chart: You will need to learn how to respect your partner’s feelings. And to not jump to conclusions too quickly and learn how to see an issue from an emotional distance. Avoid needing to know every single secret of your person. Or making up expectations from your own feeling of insecurity that no one can fulfil.

🔴 Moon in the 5th house in the Composite chart: Both can be too moody, changeable and inconsistent to overcome challenges together. Also can be easily offended because of an exaggerated pride in this connection. You could have troubles committing to this person, because you might have a feeling that you might be missing something.

🔴 Sun in the 9th house in Composite chart: You may want to outshine each other with your achievements. You may struggle with closeness or you just don’t want to admit your weaknesses. You also get a lot of opportunities to create a future together.

Credit to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

[steddieas-shegoes]

The first time Dustin tried to get Steve and Eddie to meet, Eddie refused.

“You expect me to be nice to Steve Harrington? The King of Hawkins High?”

“I told you, that’s old news,” Dustin rolled his eyes.

“Last year isn’t exactly old news, Henderson.”

So Dustin let it be.

— — — — —

The second time they didn’t have a choice.

Eddie was wanted for murders he didn’t commit, and Steve was well-versed in the ways of the Upside Down.

When Eddie almost died, it was Steve who was able to carry him through the gate.

When Eddie was in the hospital for three weeks, it was Steve who sat by his side every night so he wouldn’t be alone with his nightmares.

When Eddie got out, it was Steve who brought him to his appointments and helped him get settled in the new government-provided house for him and Wayne.

When Eddie thought about it, Steve was probably the nicest guy he’d ever met.

— — — — — — — —

But Steve ended up having to go back to work when things got fixed up.

His parents left him the house, but otherwise cut him off.

Groceries and gas don’t pay for themselves.

So he saw him for an hour here or a few minutes there, always checking in when he dropped Dustin and Mike off for D&D.

Eddie started to wonder if Steve only hung out with him because he had like, survivors guilt or something. He had been so kind and caring, but clearly the clock ran out on that.

But to Dustin, it was just a reset.

Steve hadn’t changed, just his available time.

And it was time to do something about it.

— — — — — — —

They say the third time’s the charm, but in this case, it wasn’t.

In fact, Dustin almost gave up when this result ended in Eddie telling Steve to go fuck himself.

He didn’t know what happened, and he never found out, but Steve looked hurt, and Eddie shut himself in his room for three days.

— — — — — — —

Dustin was sick.

The flu was running rampant through the streets and school halls of Hawkins, leaving no person left untouched by the worst nausea and body aches known to humankind.

Also, Eddie’s dramatics may have been rubbing off on him. Just a little.

So he couldn’t go to Hellfire, and without him, they couldn’t finish the campaign.

But in his drug-addled mind, he thought of a resolution. Potentially. But bribery would have to be involved.

So he called Steve.

“Steve.” He turned up the pitifully low rasp of his voice to make it seem like he was dying. “I need you to cover me at Hellfire.”

“Why? So Eddie can tell me to go fuck myself again? No thanks.”

“Dude. Please. I’m too sick. Everyone’s been wanting to finish this campaign for a month.”

“Can’t they reschedule when you’re better.”

Well, yeah, probably. Eddie had been way more open to rescheduling since everything happened.

That would ruin his plan, though.

“C’mon, Steve! I’ll owe you!” He coughed to add to the drama of it all.

“Fine! Fine.” Steve sighed. “I hope you know you’re gonna lose.”

“Nah, it’s a team effort. Everyone will help you.”

“Sure.” Then, because Steve was Steve: “Need anything, Henderson?”

Dustin almost felt bad about what he was making Steve do. Almost.

“No, mom’s making me a broth soup to try to sip on.”

“Okay, call tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

If Dustin wasn’t as sick as he was, he probably would have tried to stay awake to call tonight.

But he fell asleep within minutes.

— — — — — — — —

“I’m sorry, you’re what?”

Steve rolled his eyes and placed his hands on his hips. “Filling in for Dustin. He’s sick.”

“You can’t do that.”

“He said I could.”

“He doesn’t run Hellfire, does he?”

“Shouldn’t he? Since you graduated?”

Eddie glared.

“If you two are done bickering like old ladies fighting over the same man in the nursing home, we have a campaign to finish,” Erica said from her seat, looking at her nails instead of at them.

“You heard Lady Applejack,” Eddie gestures towards the table.

Steve sat in the largest chair at the end and leaned back.

Everyone was staring at him.

“You’re not that dense. You can’t be.”

Steve looked up at Eddie with a smirk.

“Is there a problem?”

“That’s the DM seat. I’m the DM. Therefore, my seat.”

“It’s big enough to share. I like the view from here.”

“You can see all my notes from here!”

“Exactly.”

Eddie’s face was so red, it was a wonder he hadn’t exploded yet.

But he didn’t continue arguing. To Steve’s delight, and Dustin’s if he were there to see it, Eddie sat down on the edge of the chair. Steve scooted over a little, but they were pushing each other and being immature and stupid.

They both fell on their asses and Lucas finally spoke up.

“Can we just reschedule? This isn’t gonna work.”

“No. We’re so close. Dustin wouldn’t have sent Steve if he wanted us to reschedule.”

Eddie looked at Steve, searching his face for something. Whatever it was, he must’ve found it.

“Alright. Steve’s in my lap. Let’s go.”

He clapped and pulled himself back into the chair, patting his thigh and smiling at Steve.

“The whole game?”

“It’s this or Dustin’s spot over there.”

Steve wasn’t having that. He deserved this spot.

He stood up and sat down in Eddie’s lap, ignoring the way his stomach fluttered at being close enough to smell the shampoo Eddie used. Eddie’s hands settled on his hips to hold him in place while he leaned around to check his notes.

“Let’s begin!”

Luckily, Steve didn’t have to do much. The rest of the group kind of played for him, knowing he was just a warm body at the table.

And he was certainly warm.

Eddie’s hands had been finding new places to touch on his sides or legs or back or stomach all night. It was distracting. It was annoying. It was intoxicating and addicting and Steve never wanted to leave.

He was completely zoned out, barely registering he was supposed to be an active participant in this fucking game when he felt a light smack on his thigh.

He let out a whine.

And then reality came crashing in.

Everyone was staring at him with raised eyebrows. Eddie was completely still under him. He was mortified.

But he still didn’t want to get up.

He kind of just wanted to turn around and bury his face in Eddie’s neck.

As soon as he has the thought, his body is making it happen. ‘Your wish is my command,’ it’s saying in excitement.

Within seconds, his body is turned facing a shell-shocked Eddie, legs using the space between Eddie’s back and the back of the chair to wrap around his waist, and his face burying itself into his neck. He let out a much quieter whine, and felt his whole body relax.

A hand was on the back of his head, keeping him in place, and he sighed.

He could feel vibrations, like Eddie was speaking, but his head was cloudy and he couldn’t quite figure out what it was he was saying.

It didn’t really matter anyways. He was cozy and safe and relaxed for maybe the first time ever. Unless Eddie physically removed him from his spot, he wasn’t moving.

Time passed, but Steve couldn’t take a guess at how much.

“Stevie? You awake?”

“Mhm.”

“You wanna get comfy?”

“Am.”

He felt Eddie laugh more than he heard it, but he just snuggled further into Eddie’s neck, bunching his shirt in his hands.

“Okay, I’m just gonna pick you up and go to the bedroom. It’ll be better to sleep.”

Sleep? Was it that late? Where was everyone else?

“Shhh. It’s okay. Just squeeze your legs around my waist and hold on.”

Steve followed his instructions to the letter and he could’ve sworn he heard Eddie whisper “good boy” into his ear, but that could’ve been wishful thinking.

The next thing he knew, Eddie was sitting on the edge of his own bed with Steve in the same position on his lap.

“Wanna get in comfy clothes?”

Steve shook his head.

He was so tired.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

“Dunno. Week?”

“A week?! Steve…”

“Shhh. Sleepy.”

“No shit. You haven’t slept in a week.” Eddie sighed and then somehow managed to get them both settled in bed, Steve’s body almost entirely on top of Eddie’s. “Get some rest, sweetheart.”

“Mkay.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head, but he was already almost completely asleep.

— — — — — — —

“So he just…cuddled him? Right there at the table?”

Dustin couldn’t believe his plan worked and he wasn’t even there.

“It was awful,” Erica spit out.

“It was weird,” Lucas added.

“It was disgusting,” Mike said, pointing a glare at Dustin. “I wish I had the flu so I could’ve missed it.”

“And has anyone checked in on them since?”

Two days had passed and Dustin was finally able to keep solid foods down and his fever broke more than 12 hours before. His mom was even going to let him call Suzy later.

“Uh. Should we?”

“Lucas! Dude! They may have turned on each other.”

“Yeah, more like turned each other on,” Erica mumbled.

They all stared at each other, disgusted at the thought of their friend and babysitter being close.

“Gross.”

But Dustin smiled anyway. His plan finally worked.

[hotluncheddie]

Memories of somethin' even smoking weed does not replace.

wc: 2.9k | cw: alcohol | rated: M | part: 1/2 | tags: pre s4 au, steve harrington centric, stobin soulmates, raised catholic steve harrington

part 2 | ao3

˚♱₊✩‧₊⋆｡‧˚♱⋆₊✩‧₊

8:32pm January 3rd: Steve’s car

‘God stop complaining! It’s one party!’ Robin says, her exasperation at Steve finally boiling over.

Steve rolls his eyes, hard, wants to make sure she sees it. He’s stressed and uncomfortable and wants to be petty and petulant and complain because this night is going to end in him embarrassing himself somehow, he just knows it. 

Robin makes just as much of a face back at him but then her eyes are full of concern. ‘You’ve just, been so mopey lately.’ she fiddles with her fingers, bites a nail even though that was her resolution. ‘and I know you say you haven’t been, but you know that I know, that you barely got out of bed on your days off over the holidays and that makes me sad.’ Robin laments, ripping his bitchiness off like a bandaid, seeing whats underneath.  

Steve signs, defeated by her big beautiful brain. She is right, but. ‘Robbie. it was between Christmas and new year, there was nothing going on. What do you expect me to do? it’s literally time made for relaxing.’ Steves own exasperation falling away into something that just sounds tired. He’s so tired. And he hates it when she worries, he’s not, he’s still not used to it. Someone who cares, notices when he spends three days in bed because the thought of getting up when his parents are downstairs makes him want to puke. And, he loves her for it, but, sometimes it makes his skin crawl, makes him feel like he’s not good enough, not hiding well enough. Pitied. 

‘But you don’t relax. You mope. You, like, wallow.’ She pokes his arm a couple times for emphasis, but her voice is softer, still a little sad. ‘And.’ she takes a deep breath. ‘I know you don’t want to talk about it. But I also know this time of year makes you miss Nancy.’ 

‘Oh God, Rob, please.’ Steve whines, desperate now. ‘Don’t start bringing up Nancy.’ He drags a hand down his face, that is the last thing he wants to talk about. Think about. Admit anything to anyone about. 

She’s not, entirely wrong but Steve still hates hearing it. He does miss Nancy, or, well, misses her in theory. He doesn’t really miss her anymore. But, he misses being her boyfriend, a boyfriend. Being needed, and being held, as pathetic as that sounds.

‘I know. Just.’ Robin says, twisting in her seat to look at him looking at the road. ‘I just. I want you to have some fun dingus.’

Steve squeezes the steering wheel. He nods. Glancing at her and giving her enough of a smile that she knows not to feel bad. It’s really not her fault that this time of year makes him want to sink into a hole, makes him think about purgatory and black vines, what he wants for his future if both can exist.

‘It’ll just be some band kids there, a few stragglers, no one’s going to care that you’re there too.’ Robin explains. ‘Plus, if they say anything I’ll be there to defend you.’ And Steve can hear that care again, but its lighter, said through the joke. He lets his shoulders drop and Steve smiles for real. He can’t help it. 

‘Yeah, yeah.’ he says, like she isn’t his everything. Glancing away from the road a second, Steve catches her smile. Happy she’s won but happier that he’s going to at least try and have fun.

‘And, don’t forget you promised to help me with seeing if any of the girls there are even remotely available to me.’ Robin sits back normally in her seat. Talking normally again, worry about her soulmate time over. ‘Plus, who knows, your new favourite customer might just be there too.’ She says into the window, head leaning on her palm. 

‘Robin!’ Steve near shouts, scandalised that she’d bring that up. 

Robin just cackles.

‘Man, you say a guys jeans fit him nice one time and then it’s all you hear about.’ He grumbles, pretending his cheeks aren’t flaming red. He really hopes any discomfort tonight has nothing to do with that. He almost prays on it. But monsters come out of walls so he stops himself. 

Robin wriggles around in her seat, delighted by his suffering. ‘Hey! Hey! No, okay you ragged on me over Tammy! I can make fun of you for making goo goo eyes at Eddie Munson!’

9:00 January 3rd: Kitchen

Steve shivers as the heat from the house mixes with the cold evening air he just walked through. Robin at his side but she’s quickly swept up in a little crowd to say hellos. She looks for him but Steve just waves her on with a scrunch of his eyebrows and a gesture to the beer he wants to find a sport for. 

The kitchen in strewn with bottles and cups and snacks, not a total disaster but people have definitely been helping themselves. Steve is a little laser focused on getting the cans set down so he can start on one, relax his nerves a bit, so he doesn’t even notice Eddie sitting on the counter until he nearly gets kneed in the crotch. 

He takes a hasty step back and gives himself a mental shake, get out of his own head. Eddies smile looks amused, his eyes able to look so sharp. Steve swallows, grateful for Eddies silence. 

‘Hey man. You want one?’ Steve offers Eddie a beer and makes a spot for them on the side. 

Eddie takes it, nodding in thanks, their fingers don’t brush, Steve would know. ‘You looking for anything stronger tonight? like King Steve back in the day?’ Eddie asks, taking a drink, hair framing the long line of his neck.

The old name makes bile raise in his throat. Eddie didn’t mean it like that, probably, wouldn’t have said it if he’d known how much that name feels like a brand on Steves skin. Itchy and scarred. Like ‘Harrington’, like ‘Bullshit’, like something that makes people think they know him, like his body and self isn’t his own.  

Steve looks away. ’Uh, nah, I’ll stick to the classics.’ Popping the lid and taking a long gulp, going for casual, slouching against the counter.

Eddie nods like it’s no big deal. ‘I won’t make this awkward by asking you about college. I know you know I’ve seen you at family video.’ 

‘Your late back on ‘Poltergeist’.’ Steve says without thinking. Winces, why is he acting like such a loser? ‘But uh, yeah. Thanks.’ He finishes lamely. No way any colleges wanted him on his concussion grades and zero extra curricular credits. 

‘Shit, so you do actually do your job.’ Eddie shakes his head, like Steve had deeply wounded him, sarcastic and mocking, pretty little glint in his eye. But it still makes some ugly, desperate little part of Steve rear up and want to take it back, beg for forgiveness. 

Steve drowns that thought and chugs the rest of his beer. 

Someone must motion something to Eddie from one of the other rooms because he nods his head up in understanding. But before he goes he leans in closer to Steve, smirking. ‘Oh, and, don’t thank me yet. I also saw you in that sailor get up at the mall.’ 

Steve chokes on his spit, coughing and spluttering like an idiot.

‘Thanks for the beer.’ Eddie says, patting him once on the shoulder before hopping off the counter and into the throws of the party.

Steve watches him go, skin of his shoulder tingling through his sweater. He feels an itch, like he’s being watched and turns his head to find robin staring at him from where she’s still by the door, talking to friends. Her smile wicked. 

Robins parting words from the car float back through his mind and make his stomach twist. ‘Lucky for you, Eddie makes goo good eyes right back.’ She’d said, quiet and teasing, and Steve hates her. her hates her. 

It’s going to be a long night. 

10:54 January 3rd: Staircase

It’s a little quieter at the front of the house.

It had been going pretty well and then someone mentioned Starcourt. A couple pairs of eyes flashed to him in recognition. Someone murmuring to another,  mentioning Hop. And then Steves eyes were prickling and his wrists were tingling and he had to excuse himself. Squeezing Robins shoulder for her not to follow. Just a minute alone to breath. Sip his drink to get the copper to wash from his lips. Get his teeth back where they’re supposed to be.  

Orange streetlights filter through the window of the front door. It catches the dust, makes it sparkle. 

He thinks about midnight mass with his parents, their one Christmas plan that he’s not allowed to get out of. Thinks about how the light filtered through the stained glass, made patches of the floor look red. Thought about the ceiling of Starcourt, the taste of red metal on his tongue as the world spun. 

Went up for communion and crossed himself. Looked up at the crucifix. Thought about how the gash that opened in Joyce’s living room was red. How somethings grow in darkness, in cracks and out of sinew. A nail bat ripping through skin. 

He looks at the drink Robin made him as a joke, its almost wine coloured, a murky, deep red. It makes Steves insides twist, she didn’t mean it, she didn’t. But blood of the lamb is making the back of his eyelids flash red and brown, flash lightning and ash floating through the air. His nose filled with mould. 

‘Yeesh what is that Harrington?’ Steve looks up, Eddie’s blocking some of the orange light, head haloed and face in shadow. 

Steve looks back into the cup, seeing it for what it is again. Remembering how her face lit up with laughter as she dumped in whatever she could find, knowing it would be awful but knowing Steve would still drink it. She made it for him, how could he not? 

He looks back up at Eddie, Steve can smell his cologne. It smells good. ‘Don’t ask, Robin made it.’ He waves his hand and tries to clear his head of red and black. The spirits mix with the beer and now his hands and feet tingle, he focuses on that, it’s nice.

Eddie eyes it warily. ’You wanna trade?’ and he holds up a beer, a different brand that the ones Steve brought, he has two, for some reason. 

Steve looks into his cup, ‘Its honestly not that bad.’ He swirls the contents around a little, there’s something floating in it. 

‘Seriously?’ Eddie asks. Steve looks up at him and his eyebrows have disappeared behind his bangs 

Steve smiles, his lips tingling. ‘No.’ and his smile grows at Eddie laugh, he has dimples.

He looks at Eddie and decides, then, to take. See what he gets given. He can confess later.

The alcohol made a couple of the awkward conversations he had tonight bearable and the couple less awkward conversations he had enjoyable. Maybe it’ll do the same for him now. Steve takes the beer and places his other drink carefully on the stair behind where he’s sitting, makes a mental note to dump it out when he moves. 

He shifts, sitting in a way he hopes looks casual, like he wasn’t just thinking about divine sacrifice. The staircase it wide and the carpet is soft, a nice place to take a break. A nice place to talk to a boy. A boy who makes his heart beat in his throat. Steve can confess later. 

‘You run Hellfire right?’ He asks, sipping his beer and cataloguing again how the orange light shines on eddies hair, over his shoulder. 

Eddie faces him fully, bobbing his head slightly to the music, Steve doesn’t recognise the song, he doesn’t think its one they play on the radio. ‘Yeah?’ 

‘Yeah. like X-men’ Steve says.  

Eddie blinks at him, but then the corners of his mouth curl and his eyelids droop and Steve feels too hot suddenly. ’Okay, I’m gonna need his majesty to explain how he knows about either of those.’ 

Swallowing, Steve goes for honest. ’Well first off you used to put new posters up every, like, two weeks man, kinda hard to ignore.’ Steve says, lifting up a finger. he paid attention, eddies doesn't need to know yet how much. But Steve paid attention. 

Eddie stays silent, looks at him, eyes roaming over his face, lip still curled. Steve feels his adams apple bob. 

‘Second, I babysit some of the dweebs who are current members.’ Steve lifts a second finger, takes another sip of beer. ‘And three, X-men is like super popular. And, like, super good.’ And Steve takes another drink, just because, just to help him be. 

Eddies lips curl into a full smile, all teeth and a little tongue. He sips his own beer, looking away from Steve then back at him a couple times, like he thinks he’ll vanish, change before his very eyes. He shakes his head. ‘What changed with you man? I never expected any of that to ever come out of your mouth, like, ever.’ And eddies sounds kind of delighted, voice musical and tinkling. 

Steve just shrugs, feels hot, Eddies voice too close to happy, words too close to praise. ‘Grew up a little, I guess.’ He crosses his arms, looks down at his shoes. 

‘Yeah? That why no more parties?’ and Eddies voice is soft, Steve can feel his body heat, his knee by eddies hip. 

‘I’m just not so big on, that much attention any more. That much noise.’ Steve says, looking back into Eddies face. Finds him staring, lips quirked in a little smile, softer, then before. Leaning his chin in his hands on the banister, leaning into Steves space.

‘So, you and Buckley, what’s that about?’ Eddies whispering now, like he knows it’s precious. The orange light kisses his cheek.

Steve clears his throat, whispers back. ’Summer job. We scooped ice cream and she, uh, scooped up my heart.’ he smiles, just from talking about her, thinking about them. 

‘Oh.’ Eddie says, drawing away just slightly, eyes hardening in a way Steve hates. 

He almost reaches out, something drastic, desperate. But he pulls back, fiddles with the tab on his can. ‘No, um. Not that kind of oh. I mean in, like, a friend way. Totally platonic oh.’ 

‘Right’ Eddie comes back, but it’s not quite the same, the moment lost. Steve feels a rosary between his knuckles. 

‘Seriously, platonic soulmates. It’s a thing.’ He tries to lighten, tries to make Eddie read his mind the way robin does. It takes a moment, but then Eddie lets his eyes drink in Steves face again. His smile unfurling, sweet and pretty and different than before. He nods once, taking a drink. Looking away, cheekbones flushed pink. 

Steve can confess later. 

Robin comes barrelling down the hall calling out for Steve. But she skids to a halt when she sees Eddie. Then her eyes find Steve and she looks at him with raised eyebrows and barely contained glee bubbling under its surface. ‘Munson.’ She greets, eyes staying on Steve. ‘You’re late back on ‘Poltergeist.’

Eddie laughs, big and delighted. ‘Hey Buckley.’ He says. ‘Looking for your boy?’ but as he said that he’s gone back to the same position, still leaning on his hands, still looking right at Steve. 

Steve feels his cheeks heat. 

‘Ugh, not my boy. You are definitely not getting out your late fee for that.’ And she shoves him out of the way to get to Steve and grab his hand. ‘They want me to play beer pong, you’re on my team.’ And she’s pulling him up and away. 

Steve cranes his neck back to give Eddie a little wave goodbye but he’s pushing off the banister, he’s following. 

He walks slow, lazy, almost sauntering. Looking right at Steve still, with that little smirk. He knows. He knows. Steve feels the eucharist on his tongue. ‘What?’ Eddie asks, innocent but his smile isn’t. ‘I wanna watch.’ And Steve just squeezes Robins hand tighter, lets her pull him into the kitchen. 

11:45 January 3rd: Kitchen

People cheer as Steve neatly sinks the ping pong ball into the final cup, Robin nearly jumping onto his back she’s so exited. The first couple games with Robin and some of her random band friends really weren't great, he drank a few times, helped Robin get through her shares, they barely won. But by the third game he basically played alone and won pretty easily. The crowd seem entertained, cheering for him and random people kept patting him on the shoulder. it’s weird, a little stale on his skin to be congratulated like that, over something like this again. But he’ll be that guy again for one night, if just to make Robin smile. 

He downs a cup someone offers him in celebration. Accepting a couple high fives from Robins band friends. Tries to not be weird, to not show how the praise makes him itch. 

Steve lifts his wrist up to wipe at his mouth. His eyes drawn to the far side of the room. Eddie is leaning against the wall, black jacket against stark white. He claps slowly once, twice, his eyes shining with something. Like Steve is something funny, something interesting. 

Steve’s hands and feet tingle, his lips a little numb. Feels warm. Doesn't think about churches or blood or monsters. Just lifts his eyebrows, sucks some of the sticky beer from the pad of his thumb, and winks. 

Eddie rolls his eyes and rolls off the wall, disappearing into another room. 

But Steve saw his smile. 

˚♱₊✩‧₊⋆｡‧˚♱⋆₊✩‧₊

part 2 | ao3

written for Lex’s Spicy Six Winter Challenge! run by @thefreakandthehair and using the prompt: 'spiked eggnog'. ty for putting this on always!! sorry im posting on the last day again lol xoxo

title from 'stick season' by noah kahan (edited slightly to fit better)

@pearynice and @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx ty for the kind words and guidance getting me unstuck with this fic <3 its alive now

lmk if you would like a tag for part two :)

[kcwriter-blog]

Thanks for Thinking of Solavellan

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts directed at Solavellans by kind, caring people who want to make sure we temper our expectations. After 10 years of being treated like dirt by the fandom, it’s so nice to have so many people take an interest in us, to the point of compassionately telling us that we aren’t going to get much content, as sad as that may be. I can’t speak for all Solavellans but I wanted to let everyone know why they don’t have to worry about me at least:

We are grown ups

We are adults, well versed in managing our expectations. In fact, most of us hold down jobs, take care of our families and live our lives. Are we excited that our Inquisitors will be in the game? Of course. Do we expect them to be the central character? Of course not. We understand that Rook is the star of the show. We are busy planning our Rooks and deciding which romances to pursue. We are trying to decide what class and faction to play just like everyone else. Are we excited about what we know about Solas so far? Yes. If Dorian is announced to be in the game, as seems likely, I’m sure people will be equally excited and talking about what they hope to see.

We know Solavellan content will not be the focus

See above but also, we are used to having less content. We have the least amount of romance content in DAI. In Trespasser everyone got to talk to their Lis throughout the game. We had a 15-minute conversation at the end. Most players got a resolution to their romances. Like all Inquisitors, our Lavellans are kind of in limbo where Solas is concerned. The fact that we are making Inquisitors in the character creator tells me that all Inquisitors will have at least one confrontation with Solas and Rook will probably be part of that. Those will differ depending on whether you want to stop him at all costs, redeem him or want to redeem him and romanced him. This was done in Trespasser. If they can find the time and money to put three paths of 15-minute conversation in a ten-hour game, they can do the same for a 70-hour game. That’s not a lot of content but it is sure to be impactful and we will be happy with it.

We are no different in voicing our hopes than anyone else

I have seen plenty of posts where people that romanced Dorian want to have a tender moment between their Inquisitors and him. I fully support their hopes. I want that to happen for them. Other hopes expressed are the return of Cullen, the return of the Hero of Fereldan, Fenris and Merril cameos, etc. All are expressed in terms of “I hope” or “I will riot if it doesn’t happen.” To be honest, I feel sad for those poor souls because no one is telling them to temper their expectations. Does the fandom not care about their health and well-being? We are expressing our hopes and wishes. Do we think we will get all of it? Of course not. We are, as I said before, adults.

We Think We Will Rescue Solas

Honestly? We hope we can be a part of that, but it is just hope. It is more likely that Rook will break him out of prison. Maybe the Inquisitor will get to help – the way Hawk and the Warden Companion did in DAI – but if not, there will probably be some sort of confrontation. Rook may ask the Inquisitor’s opinion about Solas and the answer will depend on the Inquisitor’s relationship with Solas but that may be all.

We have too many unrealistic expectation

Please don’t think that we expect everything we want to happen to be in the game. We are aware that a lot of our hopes are not going to be realized. To be honest, we are already surprised that some of those hopes are figuring in the game. Keep in mind that for 10 years we thought our only interaction with him would be to make sure he didn’t die alone. We recognize we are a small group and so does BioWare. Yes, we have indulged our brain rot and obsession with art and fiction but that’s just us. We don’t expect it to show up in the game. If it does, we will be excited. If it doesn’t, we will shrug our shoulders and go back to drawing and writing.

We are talking amongst ourselves

We are talking to other Solavellans. Solavellan has become a tight-knit community over the years because of what we’ve had to put up with. Anders fans can probably relate. We are not talking to the DA community at large. Most of us don’t interact with the larger DA community because of everything that has been said over the years. We talk to and support each other. If you aren’t a Solavellan, feel free to scroll past our posts or even block us if you think we are too loud or annoying. You won’t hurt our feelings.

I’m sure other Solavellans can add to this or mention things I’ve forgotten. Again, don’t worry about us. We will be fine.

[cheynovak]

 A Night to Remember 

Part 2: In the spotlight  

Jensen Ackles x F/Reader Y/N     

Warnings: On screen chemistry, sexual tension, unfaithful, ...    

Side note: English isn’t my first language 

--  

When a candid photo of Jensen Ackles and his co-star Y/N sharing an intimate moment goes viral, it threatens to upend the actor's carefully balanced life.  

Jensen must navigate the fallout and confront his true feelings.  

As he and Y/N strive to set the record straight, they are forced to examine the boundaries between professional connection and personal emotion.  

Will their flirtation under the spotlight lead to lasting consequences, or can they find a way to protect what truly matters? 

-- 

*Click* 

One click, one misstep and there it was, the picture and news articles circling on the internet.

--

Los Angeles, CA – In a surprising turn of events, Supernatural star Jensen Ackles and his co-star Y/N Y/L/N were spotted together in what appeared to be a romantic setting. This unexpected sighting has ignited a whirlwind of speculation and intrigue among fans and media alike. 

Ackles, who has been happily married to actress Danneel Ackles since 2010, was seen with Y/L/N at an upscale restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. The pair were seen at a local bar, a fan saw them engaging in deep conversation, sharing laughs, and even holding hands across the table. Dressed casual for the evening, both actors appeared relaxed and comfortable in each other’s company. 

An eyewitness, who wishes to remain anonymous, shared, “They looked really close and seemed to be enjoying each other's company a lot. It felt like there was definitely more than just friendship between them.” 

Y/N Y/L/N, who has recently to be rumoured as the new member of the cast of Ackles’ latest project “The boy”, has quickly become a fan favourite. However, this is the first time they have been seen together.  

Fans of Ackles have taken to social media to express their disbelief and confusion. One fan tweeted, “I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Jensen and Y/N? What about Danneel? This doesn’t make sense!” 

Another fan commented, “Jensen and Danneel have always been so solid. I hope this is just a misunderstanding.” 

As the news spreads, neither Jensen nor Y/L/N have made any public statements regarding the nature of their relationship. Danneel Ackles has also remained silent on the matter, choosing not to address the swirling rumours. 

It is possible that the outing was entirely innocent and misconstrued by the public. Hollywood friendships often involve close and affectionate interactions that can be easily misinterpreted. 

In the meantime, the internet continues to buzz with theories and opinions, eagerly awaiting any clarification from the involved parties.

Fans hope for a positive resolution that respects all individuals involved and clarifies the situation. 

-- 

Jensen stepped into his house, the warm familiarity of home wrapping around him. It had been an incredible cast, filled with unexpected connections and heartfelt moments. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought of Y/N, their shared laughter, and that unforgettable evening. 

It was just a stupid drunk kiss, but still she knew what he needed, a chance to feel like he had it still in him, flirting picking up a nice girl at the bar, even though it was his co start who knew he felt insecure.   

However, his smile faded as he saw his wife, Danneel, waiting for him in the living room, her expression unreadable. She held her phone in her hand, and Jensen’s heart sank with a premonition of trouble. 

“Hey, babe,” Jensen greeted, trying to keep his tone light. “You’re up late.” Danneel nodded, her eyes fixed on him. “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep. There’s something I need to show you.” 

She handed him her phone, and Jensen’s stomach tightened as he saw the screen. There it was the photo from the bar. It captured the moment just before the kiss, the intimate way he and Y/N were looking at each other unmistakable. 

“Danneel, I...” Jensen started, but she held up a hand to stop him. 

“Jensen, I get it. It’s part of the job, right? You work closely with your co-stars. But this… this looks personal.” Her voice was calm, but he could hear the hurt underlying her words. 

Jensen took a deep breath, his mind racing. “It wasn’t what it looks like, I swear. We were just talking, drinking and then… I don’t know. It just happened.” 

Danneel looked at him, her eyes searching his. “I trust you, Jensen, but you have to understand how this looks. The internet is already buzzing with rumours. People are talking.” 

Jensen ran a hand through his hair, frustration and guilt gnawing at him. “I’m so sorry, Danneel. I never wanted to hurt you. Y/N and I, we just got caught up in the moment. It didn’t mean anything, it just turns out she is the same playful spirit drunk.” 

Danneel sighed, sitting down on the couch and gesturing for Jensen to join her. “I believe you, but we need to be careful. Our family, our kids—they’re going to hear about this. We need to be ready to handle it.” 

Jensen sat beside her, taking her hand in his. “I’ll talk to Y/N. We’ll figure out a way to set the record straight. I love you.” he said before kissing her goodnight. Danneel squeezed his hand, a small smile playing on her lips. 

-- 

The next week Jensen sat in a conference room with his manager, Y/N and her manager, Lisa, who was explaining their new plan. 

“So, we’ve decided to lean into this,” Lisa said, spreading out mock-ups of promotional posters featuring Soldier Boy and Y/N’s character. “The internet is already buzzing about the photo. We’re going to introduce her new character on ‘The Boys’ as the love interest.  

We know it wasn’t supposed to leak out yet, but we’re going to drop some on set photos, and I would like that you two make a video.  

Y/N glanced at Jensen, her eyes wide with surprise. “If that’s possible, that would be great!” Jensen leaned back in his chair, a mix of relief and excitement bubbling up. “Alright, let’s do this.”  

Jensen and Y/N found themselves standing in front of a camera crew, tasked with filming a special video announcement. Jensen stood beside Y/N, offering a reassuring smile as they exchanged a quick glance.  

They had rehearsed their lines countless times, but there was still a nervous energy in the air.  

“Hey, everyone, it’s Jensen Ackles here,” Jensen began, his voice confident as he addressed the camera. “And I’m thrilled to introduce you to the newest member of our team.” 

Y/N stepped forward, their expression a mix of excitement and determination. “Hi, I’m Y/N, and I’m beyond excited to join the cast of ‘The Boys’  

“Our new season is going to be bigger and better than ever,” Jensen continued, his enthusiasm infectious. “And with Y/N on board as soldier boys new love, I know we’re going to blow you away.” 

Y/N smiled, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Get ready for an epic ride, folks.” With a wink they end the promo video. 

--  

“Y/N, can we talk?” Jensen asked, his voice serious as he pulled her aside. Y/N nodded, her expression guarded but curious. “Of course, J. What’s on your mind?” 

Jensen took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. “Look, I can’t shake this feeling that… maybe things between us aren’t as straightforward as we’ve been pretending.” 

Y/N’s gaze softened, a flicker of understanding passing through her eyes. “Jensen, I told you before, that kiss, it was just a moment. I know it didn’t mean anything.” 

“I don’t want to make things more complicated than they already are. That’s why… I think we need to set some boundaries.” he added.  

Y/N’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Boundaries?” 

Jensen sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Look, I value our friendship, Y/N. And I don’t want to lose that. But I think we need to be careful about how we spend our time together.” 

Y/N’s expression softened, a sense of resignation settling over them.” Maybe it’s best if we avoid situations where…” Jensen nodded, relief washing over him that Y/N understood. “Exactly. So, no more one on one getting drunk together, okay?” 

“Yeah, sure no problem. I thought that kind of was a done deal without saying anything.” Y/N smiled, a hint of sadness in her eyes. 

-- 

A few months later 

The cast of "The Boys" had a busy schedule at the Comic-Con weekend, but Jensen found himself with a rare moment of downtime. As he sipped on his coffee backstage, he noticed Y/N stepping onto the stage for a solo Q&A session with the fans. 

Jensen leaned against a nearby wall, watching from the shadows as Y/N took the microphone, a radiant smile lighting up their face. The crowd erupted in cheers, and Y/N’s eyes sparkled with genuine excitement and gratitude. 

“Hi, everyone!” Y/N greeted, their voice warm and inviting. “Thank you all so much for coming out today. You guys are the best!” 

As she began to take questions from the audience, Jensen found himself mesmerized by the way Y/N engaged with the fans. She listened intently to each question, her expressions ranging from thoughtful to playful, depending on the fans. 

She had an incredible ability to connect with people, making each person feel valued and heard. 

One fan, a young girl dressed as her character, nervously approached the microphone. “Hi, Y/N! I just wanted to say that I love you, and you’re my hero.” Y/N’s eyes softened as she leaned forward, her smile radiating warmth. “Thank you so much! That means the world to me. You look amazing!"  

As the panel continued, Jensen couldn’t shake the growing feelings stirring within him. Y/N finished answering another question, glancing backstage and catching Jensen’s eye. She gave him a quick, playful wink before turning back to the audience, and Jensen felt a flutter in his chest. 

The cast gathered for a dinner at a cozy restaurant after their appearance at a Comic-Con. The atmosphere was warm and lively as the cast members laughed and chatted, enjoying each other’s company before the whirlwind of events ahead. 

Jensen and Y/N exchanged polite smiles in between their casual conversation with others, the tension from their previous encounter hanging in the air between them like a silent understanding. 

As the evening progressed, Jensen couldn’t help but steal glances at Y/N, her easy laughter and infectious energy drawing him in despite the distance he had tried to maintain.  

Throughout the dinner, their eyes meeting in fleeting moments of connection. Each glance spoke volumes. There was a playful spark in Jensen’s gaze, a hint of mischief that danced in his eyes. Finding it way too easy to find an opportunity to flirt with Y/N, even from across the table. 

As the evening progressed and the drinks flowed freely. The warmth of the alcohol combined with the electric energy between them, fuelling a newfound boldness within him. 

Leaning slightly on to the table, closer to Y/N, Jensen’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, a subtle gesture that worked like magic on her. His eyes, dark with desire, locked onto Y/N’s, sending a message of longing and intent. 

Y/N’s breath caught at the sight, her own heart racing in response to Jensen’s unspoken flirtation. The air between them crackled with tension, the heat of their mutual attraction igniting like a wildfire. 

Despite the playful banter and laughter around them, Jensen and Y/N were lost in their own world, a world where the only thing that mattered was the intoxicating game of pulling and pushing.  

He saw how Y/N casually reached for her drink, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass in slow, deliberate circles. The motion was hypnotic, and Jensen found himself entranced by the simple yet sensual act.  

She looked up at him through her lashes, a playful smile tugging at the corners of her lips. 

Y/N gracefully stood up from the table, her fingers lingering on the back of her chair as she cast a lingering, meaningful glance over her shoulder at him. Her eyes held a silent invitation that sent a thrill down his spine. 

Jensen watched her as she walked away, her movements fluid and confident. He knew exactly what she was suggesting, and he felt a surge of anticipation. Excusing himself with a casual comment to the rest of the cast, he waited a few moments before following her path.  

His heart pounded in his chest as he approached the restroom area, glancing around to ensure they wouldn’t be interrupted. 

He pushed open the door to the women’s restroom, his eyes immediately finding Y/N. She stood by the sinks, her expression a mix of mischief and desire. The door closed behind him with a soft click, sealing them in their private little world. 

“Y/N,” Jensen murmured, his voice husky as he stepped closer to her. “Are you sure about this?” 

She smiled, the kind of smile that sent shivers down his spine.  She reached out, her fingers brushing against his chest, sending a wave of heat through his body. 

Jensen closed the distance between them in a heartbeat, his hands finding her waist as he pulled her close. Their breaths mingled, the air thick with the electricity of their desire. Y/N tilted her head up, her eyes locked onto his with an intensity that made his pulse race. 

Without another word, Jensen leaned in, capturing her lips with his in a searing kiss. It was a kiss filled with all the pent-up longing and unspoken words that had been building between them. Y/N responded eagerly, her hands sliding up to his shoulders as she pressed herself against him. 

Jensen’s hands roamed her back, feeling the warmth of her skin through the thin fabric of her dress. Y/N’s fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, their tongues dancing in a rhythm of their own. 

For a moment, they broke apart, their foreheads resting against each other’s as they caught their breath. “I’ve never been more sure about anything,” she replied, her voice a seductive whisper. 

--

Let me know what you think, like, share or comment <3

If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

Taglist: -> If you want to be added let me know what you like to read!

@yvonneeeee @suckitands33 @mostlymarvelgirl @globetrotter28 @jackles010378 @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch

[vodika-vibes]

*Slides 50$ in Monopoly money*

Could I possibly get a smutty fic with Kix x GN reader in which reader has a crush on Kix and they end up missing a medical appointment and Kix has to chase them down? Btw love your writing!

The Physical

Summary: When you get too absorbed in your work, you tend to forget everything happening around you. You’ve forgotten to eat, to sleep, and, on one occasion, your own boyfriend. So no one is surprised when you don’t show up for your required physical. That doesn’t mean that you don’t need it though.

Pairing: Clone Medic Kix x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1932

Warnings: Smut, oral (m receiving)

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I hope this is close to what you wanted. I was pretty careful to make the story as gender neutral as possible, in the sense that the reader has no gendered pronouns attached to them at all. Also, I made a divider for this story.

You’re a bit…scatterbrained.

You know it. Your parents know it. Your teachers from school knew it. 

Your coworkers know it better than most.

It’s not intentional. It’s not. You just get so absorbed in your work, that you forget anything else.

Unfortunately, for you, anything else really means everything else. You’ve skipped meals, you’ve skipped sleep. You’ve missed holidays and birthdays and everything in between.

You once forgot about a date that you planned and scheduled and paid for. 

And you try. You do try. You set reminders and calendar alerts, and it doesn’t matter because when you’re really absorbed in your work you just won’t hear them.

Luckily for you, the people you work with are unendingly patient with you and make a lot more allowances for you then they really should. It helps, probably, that you’re very good at what you do.

And that the men of the 501st genuinely like you.

You step out of your room, a private room close to where you work, and you nearly jump out of your skin when you see Kix standing there. “It’s about time you woke up.”

You stare at him for a moment, and then you look at your chrono, and then look back at Kix. “It’s barely 6. I can’t possibly be late to anything!”

“What? No. I’m here to remind you about your physical.”

“...oh. Right. That’s today isn’t it?” You glance at your comm, and make sure that the alert is saved, “I have alarms set, you don’t have to worry about me forgetting.”

“How many alarms?”

“...Four. Across two devices.” You admit.

He sighs, “That should be fine then.” He glances at his own datapad and frowns at something on the screen, “Why did you schedule for 12:30?”

“That’s the time I was assigned.” You reply with a shrug, “Is it a problem?” You ask as you lean in to get a glimpse of his datapad.

Kix quickly moves the datapad so you can’t see the screen and shoots you an amused look, “You know you’re not allowed to look at this.”

“Right, right. Sorry.” You lean back and flash a small grin at him.

“There’s nothing wrong, but the later in the day your appointment, the more likely it is that you’re going to forget.” Kix points out, and then he sighs, “It’s fine. You set alarms, so you’ll be there.”

“Right!” You pause and shoot him a curious look, “Will you be doing my exam?”

Part of you wants him to say yes. You’ve been crushing on him since the day you met him and having him touching you would be a dream come true. The rest of you is adamant that he absolutely does not do your physical because you’ll do or say something embarrassing.

“No.” Kix replies absently, seemingly not noticing your disappointment. “I’m the CMO of the Resolute, I don’t do physicals unless we’re really short handed.”

“Then why are you here reminding me?” You ask, genuinely curious.

“What, you don’t like chatting with me?” Kix asks with an amused grin. “I was heading this way anyway, and decided to take a moment to remind you.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“It is, isn’t it.” He claps your shoulder, “Anyway, I’ve distracted you enough as it is.” He pauses, “If I have to hunt you down because you forgot your physical after I came and reminded you, I’m going to be very cross.” He warns.

You fold your arms, “Honestly, it’s like people expect me to forget everything.”

“You don’t have the best record.” Kix points out.

“You’re not wrong but you don’t have to say it.” You mutter, and then your chrono chimes, “I have to go. Thanks for the reminder, Kix.”

“Sure.”

And then you both go separate ways. Your mind is already locked on the different projects that are waiting for you, and Kix to go and do whatever medical things that CMO does.

Later, you’re not really sure how much later, the door to your workshop slides open and a hand slams against the door panel, shutting and locking the door. 

You’re only half aware of it, as half of your body is bent in the engine compartment of a speeder. “Whatever is broken, put it on a table over there.” You say, your voice muffled by the screwdriver in your mouth, and you wave vaguely in the direction of a table on the other side of the room, “Make sure you leave a ticket.”

There’s the sound of something being dropped on a table, and then silence, so you go back to trying to figure out what’s wrong with the speeder. 

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Unfortunately, you’re not able to pick out clones by their voices yet, especially when you’re only half paying attention. “I’m sure there’s a working chrono over there somewhere.” You mumble in reply.

There’s silence again, and you’re almost sucked back into your work, when strong hands grip your hips and you’re physically lifted away from the speeder and set several feet away.

And then you’re roughly spun so you’re facing Kix.

You stare at him, wide eyed, more than a little startled. And the harshness in his gaze softens slightly, as he lightly plucks the screwdriver from your lips, and sets it on a table, and he sets his hands on your shoulders.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“...no?”

He closes his eyes, as though he’s asking for patience, “When were you supposed to go to the medbay for your physical?”

Your face falls, “...I missed it, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.”

Your shoulders slump, “I’m sorry.”

Kix stares at you for a moment, and then he releases you, “Kriff. I can’t even stay mad at you.” He runs his hand over his head, “Look, I rescheduled your physical for first thing in the morning. You will be there, even if I have to drag you there myself. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Kix.” You won’t meet his gaze, “I am sorry.”

“Forget it.”

“...why’s your kit here?” You ask, noting that his medical kit is sitting at your desk.

“I was worried you got hurt since you generally work by yourself.”

“Oh.” That’s fair, you decide. You stare at the medkit for a moment and then you clap your hands together, “I have an idea!” You hurry over so that you’re standing in front of Kix, “How about you give me my physical. Here. Now.”

“What?”

“You have all of the stuff you need, right?”

“I…technically, yes.” Kix says slowly.

“And this way there’s no worry about me missing another appointment-!”

“Wait, hold on. This is not something I can do.”

“Why not?”

“Because.” He falters and very pointedly doesn’t look you in the eye, “Because it would be inappropriate.” Kix finally admits.

“Come on, Kix. You’re the Chief Medical Officer, how could it possibly be inappropriate?” 

“Because.”

“That’s not an answer.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he sighs, “Because my feelings in regards to you make it inappropriate.”

“...come again?”

Kix’s gaze is even as he scans your face, “Surely you’ve noticed how much time I spend with you? How much I talk to you?” His hand comes out to rest against your cheek, and his thumb brushes your lip, “How I worry about you all of the time?”

“I thought you were just being nice.” You admit.

“No. Well, not only. I-” He trails off, “Kriff, I want you so badly.”

You wrap your hand around his wrist and pull his hand away from your face, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Didn’t want to pressure you.”

You don’t reply, you just lean in and catch his lips in a deep kiss, and Kix responds immediately, his arms sliding securely around you. He walks backwards and settles on your stool, and you move to stand between his legs, not breaking the kiss.

You break the kiss first, and you press light kisses across his face, “I’ve wanted this since the day we met.” You admit as you trail your lips across his cheek.

He chuckles, “I’ve been fantasizing about you for the same amount of time.” There’s something roguish in his eyes, “I think…my first fantasy about you was you, on your knees, with your lips wrapped around my cock.”

You laugh softly, “That right?”

“You always have something in your mouth. A pen, a screwdriver, a fork, that one time I caught you with a wire in your mouth and nearly had a heart attack on the spot-”

You gaze at him thoughtfully for a moment, and then you grin at him and drop to your knees between his legs, and you lay your head on his knees.

“W-wait…I didn’t mean-” but he trails off and licks his lips, “You don’t have to.” He finally says.

“I want to.” Is your simple reply, “How do I remove your codpiece?”

“You let me do it.” Kix replies sounding slightly breathless, as he swiftly removes the piece of armor and sets it to the side. 

You sit back slightly as he does something, and his half hard cock pops free. It’s pretty you decide as you shift closer to him and lightly take him in hand, giving him a few strokes, until he’s completely hard in your hand. 

You glance up at Kix, who is breathing heavily, his gaze locked on your face. His pupils are blown wide, and you flash a small smile, before you lean in and lightly lick the head of his cock. 

You hear Kix release a groan and a curse, and that’s all you need.

You wrap your lips around him and slowly, painfully slowly, take him inch by inch, until you can’t take anymore of him in your mouth. And then you start a slow pace, you want to take your time and you want to hear as much of his groans and moans.

He sets his hand on your head, not pushing or trying to make you take more than you're comfortable with, but to encourage you. He strokes your hair, praises falling from his lips as you work him over with your lips and tongue.

“Kriff,” Kix groans, “This is so much better than my imagination.”

You pull off of him completely, using  your hands to continue the easy pace that you set, “Is it?” you ask.

“Kriff, yes.” Kix strokes your cheek, “Cyare…I-” He trails off as you take him back in your mouth, and his hips buck towards you. You’re not sure what he wants to say, but you’re pretty sure, whatever it is, can wait.

Kix’s praises start becoming more rambly, and you pull back so that you have your lips wrapped around the head of his cock, while using your hands to continue stroking him.

And then he groans, low and deep, as he spills his release in your mouth. You keep him in your mouth until he’s done, and then you swallow his release and sit back on the floor, using the sleeve of your shirt to wipe your lips. 

“I probably need more practice at that,” You murmur thoughtfully.

Kix doesn’t reply, he’s staring at you, a sly smile on his lips. 

“What?”

He slides off the stool to the ground and tugs you closer, his grin never once fading and a mischievous grin on his face, “I’m not done.” He breathes out, as he lays you back and hooks his arms around your thighs, “It’s only fair if I return the favor, don’t you think?”

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

do my worst cal? Well let's see 😘

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ (I'm downloading this for the Monday ao3 downtime and I wanna see how far I'm going to get 😁)

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

🌌🌌🌌🌌

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Enjoy your long weekend! Do you have any plans apart from a tiny bit 😅 of writing? It's the beginning of the summer holidays here, so the kids are celebrating with lots of screen time and I with lots of editing 😁

HII!!! Yessss this is the kind of challenge that excites me DAMN.

And thank you! Not a lot of plans here! I spent the day yesterday relaxing by beautiful Lake Huron, so that's mainly it.

Good luck to you and the kiddos as the summer rolls on!

Here we go...

42 (Jesus) for ⚡️ (I hope you enjoy it!!!):

---

It could all be very grating, but Eddie finds that he’s smiling and laughing at the cute little things she says more than he’d have thought. Eddie can’t say he enjoys extended time with little kids, generally. And maybe it’s just that the longer he’s with Buck, the more Jee is pretty much a niece to him, and he does love her, in that extended family sort of way. But maybe… Maybe the truth is just that it’s nice having a little kid in the house.

Eddie’s not going to lie and say he’s not a little nostalgic for when Christopher was this age. Not that time in his life - fuck that - but when Chris was tiny and needed him all the time. When Christopher giggled at the silliest jokes instead of being wittier than Eddie. He loves being a parent to a young man, who makes him insanely proud every day. But he also loved being a parent to a sweet, funny little kid. 

And it strikes him… Maybe he just does love being a parent. Maybe it’s not as Chris-exclusive as he thought. 

He’s spoken a bit about it with Frank, based on his conversations with his own father and Buck. In four months of deliberating, he’s never been able to come to a concrete resolution. Figuring out what he wants versus what he thinks he deserves. He knows he keeps holding all the mistakes he’s made against himself, like demerit points in the decision to see if his parenting license should be renewed. But now he’s sitting at the coffee table in the living room with Buck, Chris, and Jee, and Chris is patiently trying to explain that they have other, more fun games they could play with her, and Eddie is wondering if maybe Buck was right. Maybe he’s been looking at this all wrong. 

If Eddie was the same person right now as he’d been when Christopher was born, yeah, he probably shouldn’t be considering having another kid with anyone, regardless of how much better of a fit they are for him. But he’s not. He’s changed. And look at his life now. Look at what his life could be, if he keeps trending in this direction. 

They set Jee up on the air mattress in the living room to sleep. When Buck is done helping her get ready for bed and making sure her teeth are brushed, Jee comes running down the hallway towards Eddie - clad in a shooting-star print purple onesie - and gives Eddie a gentle little hug. 

“Goodnight, Uncle Eddie,” she says in a sing-song voice. 

Eddie’s heart melts. She’s never called him that before. Which means someone - Maddie or Chim or both - has been using it organically around her. Again, Eddie feels struck by how different and right the picture of family in his life has been feeling lately. 

“Goodnight, sweetie,” he says, returning her hug. “I hope you have good dreams.”

“You too!” She exclaims brightly, then lets go of him to return to Buck. 

Eddie makes his way towards their bedroom, and listens to Buck tucking Jee in in the other room. He’s reading her a story that Maddie packed in her overnight back. Eddie lays on the bed and tries to think about the future. He thinks about how nice it might be to have someone to read bedtime stories too, again. Especially now that he has someone else there to read with him. 

So Maddie obviously launched some sort of biological warfare on Eddie through the use of poor, innocent Jee-Yun. The kid can’t help being charming and adorable. The worst part is, it worked. Eddie thinks he kind of wants one. 

---

15 for 🌊:

---

“Okay, Buck.” Eddie smiles. “Good. It suits you better.”

Buck smiles sort of crookedly. “Maybe it does.”

Eddie takes another healthy sip of his coffee. He hopes Buck realizes they are extending far beyond plausible deniability of that straight label he’d mentioned when Eddie came to the bar. 

“So, uh, I think we were just talking about how you couldn’t stop thinking about me for an entire year?” Buck prompts. 

Yep. Heterosexual line marker trampled over several talking points ago.  

“You left an impression,” Eddie admits. He’s not too proud to say it.

All flirtatious energy wipes from Buck’s features, replaced by a startling display of sincerity.

“Will you please tell me what happened?”

---

21 for ❤️‍🩹:

---

Chris swallows. There’s a lump in his throat that feels like gravel. 

“I said something really mean to him.” Christopher admits. 

“I heard,” Buck says.

“He told you?” Christopher whines, pulling away from Buck. 

Which can only mean one thing, right? If Dad told Buck that Chris forbade him from falling in love with him, then they both must know that the other feels that way. Maybe they were already in love with each other, and all Chris did was hold the inevitable hostage. 

“Yeah, well, we had a long wait at the hospital and he was pretty upset. Cut him some slack on this one, kid.”

Christopher sighs. “Are you mad at me?”

Buck shakes his head. “I think I was a little disappointed when he told me. But, now that you’ve told me how you’re feeling, I’m pretty sure I get it.”

“I think I was wrong,” Christopher sighs. 

“You need to talk to him, Chris.” Buck says again. “Your dad just wants you to be happy.”

---

18 for 🌿:

---

“Jee looks out for you, too, because she’s a great big cousin.”

“Mhm,” Nico nods.

“So, see? Everything is okay. Dad just needs a bit of time to think about what happened, okay?”

“Okay,” Nico agrees. 

Eddie smiles at his youngest son. “What do you say we go out there with Dad and eat some dinner?”

Nico looks back at his LEGO blocks and weighs his options. It’s a sad state of affairs that both Eddie and Buck combined may not measure up to some manufactured plastic blocks, but Eddie does love how focused Nico gets when something inspires his creativity. 

“Okay, Dad.” Nico says. “Let’s go.”

Eddie presses a final kiss to Nico’s forehead before Nico tears ahead of him out towards the kitchen. And, really, Eddie thinks things are mostly solved. Buck will process. They’ll talk to Nico about Margaret and Phillip together, even though Nico will never have to see them again. Case closed. 

---

21 for 🚨:

---

Eddie strains down into the well pipe and grabs Hayden’s tiny hand. Eddie imagines if he wasn’t wearing thick gloves, it would feel like grabbing at an ice block. 

“There we go,” Eddie pants. “There we go. Almost there.”

He’s getting ready to pull Hayden towards him when his thirty minute timer goes off. 

Shit. 

“No, no, no,” Eddie panics aloud. 

He feels the sharp tug of the rope against his harness, ripping him from Hayden’s grasp.

“NO!” Eddie shouts, uselessly, as if they could possibly hear him. “NOT NOW!”

He’s pulled up and up, each inch of distance decreasing Hayden’s chances of survival. Eddie can’t let this kid die. 

“Hayden!” He screams. He wonders if this is what is was like for Buck when the tsunami tore him from Christopher, magnified by a million because of their connection and the higher likelihood of Buck’s own death. 

Buck did whatever it took to save Chris. Eddie will do that for this boy. Consequences be damned. 

He pulls out his knife, brings it to the rope yanking him from Hayden, and cuts. 

---

12 for 🌌:

---

“I’ll put a timer on for five minutes, and we give ourselves that, and then you really have to leave,” Buck explains. 

“I don’t know,” Eddie mumbles.

Yes. Yes, he does know. He wants it. He wants whatever five minutes of sin can get him. 

“Okay, well,” Buck pulls out his phone and begins tapping. “You have five minutes to make a choice.”

“Wait!” Eddie exclaims.

Buck taps the start on the timer and flips the phone screen around to show Eddie the ticking clock. He’s wasting seconds here. 

---

15 for 🩸:

---

His skin feels hypersensitive to every touch or draft of air. His eyes strain against the light. 

Eddie feels like he’s been unconscious for a hundred years. He feels like he’s resurfaced from being dropped to the bottom of the ocean. 

It takes him a moment to situate himself. He’s in a hospital bed, hooked up to monitors. Once he figures this out, it takes him another few moments to remember why. The memory of Kim pinning him against the wall, his blood spilling from her mouth, elicits a frightened groan in him. How the hell did he survive that? How the hell is he here?

His pathetic fucking mewling causes a stir to the left of his bed. 

“Eddie?” 

Buck’s voice rings out like music, and Eddie is surprised at how nice he finds the sound. Has Buck’s voice always been that nice? He wants to float towards it, like it could ease his otherwise persistent discomfort.  Eddie can’t float towards Buck. All he can do is emit another raspy, pained grunt of confirmation that he is, in fact, awake.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - Dracula Daily - June 17

The Droughtula is broken!!! Finally!!! Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean Jonathan is having a good time.

“I heard without a cracking of whips and pounding and scraping of horses' feet up the rocky path beyond the courtyard. With joy I hurried to the window, and saw drive into the yard two great leiter-wagons, each drawn by eight sturdy horses, and at the head of each pair a Slovak, with his wide hat, great nail-studded belt, dirty sheepskin, and high boot. They had also their long staves in hand.”

Wow, so we already have a lot here. Notice how Jonathan is so alert to anything that can aid his escape, he hears exactly what is happening outside the window and where it is as well.

“With joy” — oh Jonathan 🥺🥺🥺 he still has hope. As he should but AHHH

Again, Jonathan takes the time to describe the Slovaks, transcribing every last detail in case it might be important later. Also, this is what a leiter-wagon looks like and I find that interesting because I assumed it would just look like any other wagon, and it’s cool that Jonathan notates that. I was confused by what staves meant so here’s what I found — they are long narrow sticks of wood/iron which can be linings on a barrel, but I think in this context, means the plural of walking staff!

“Again a shock: my door was fastened on the outside.”

Noooo, he locked him in again but this time, it’s in his room! He must have done it while Jonathan was sleeping, or I’ve no doubt he would have heard it. It’s so sad to see him not be able to get closer to these people who are like a liveline to him right now.

“Then I ran to the window and cried to them. They looked up at me stupidly and pointed, but just then the "hetman" of the Szgany came out, and seeing them pointing to my window, said something, at which they laughed. Henceforth no effort of mine, no piteous cry or agonised entreaty, would make them even look at me. They resolutely turned away.”

So, obviously, this is not good for Jonathan and I have a theory now about what Szgany said. So, we all assume that either Dracula persuaded the Szgany by using brute force or mind control to get his way, but this kind of reaction leads me to believe a different theory. What if Dracula told the Szgany that Jonathan was a mentally ill relative/friend and he was keeping him in his castle while he was being treated? There’s no reason that he has to do this, but he knows that this is a good way to help spread the word and discredit Jonathan’s name. He could’ve even said it in a “between you and me” way to act as if it’s an eccentric rich person secret. Yes, he looks down on anyone that isn’t him, but he does know these people, and he knows they talk.

Why do I think this? Well, them laughing at him and immediately turning back to their work is an indicator. If the Szgany had been brute forced or mind controlled, they likely would’ve said something that would’ve made the Slovaks somber, not laugh. There are other reasons they could’ve done laughed, but it does make a lot of sense that if they’re told he has mental problems, they would probably just laugh him off (which isn’t very nice, of course, but unfortunately this is how people with mental illnesses/neurodivergences/etc. were treated in that time and still are today) until they get back to work. They were also probably told by Dracula (through the Szgany) to ignore him as if he doesn’t exist, which they do.

“The leiter-wagons contained great, square boxes, with handles of thick rope; these were evidently empty by the ease with which the Slovaks handled them, and by their resonance as they were roughly moved. When they were all unloaded and packed in a great heap in one corner of the yard, the Slovaks were given some money by the Szgany, and spitting on it for luck, lazily went each to his horse's head. Shortly afterwards, I heard the cracking of their whips die away in the distance.”

I can’t say what these boxes are used for without giving away spoilers, but I want you to remember that they’re giving boxes — presumably empty — to Dracula’s castle. I believe it will be important later.

That’s it. I assume Jonathan doesn’t have any more to write because, well, what else can he say? It was another failed escape attempt and likely in an effort to save paper and because he’s feeling numb, he probably doesn’t want to write more than he has to. It likely hurts for him to write anything, but he needs to note this down, because it could be important later.

[entomolog-t]

Ohh we’re being evaluated huh?

My favorite scenarios are ones involving curious giants and tinies that desperately want to run away but can’t

A tiny is trapped and a giant finds them, helping them out of the trap and offering safety, food, even letting them go. The tiny is suspicious— what could this giant possibly want? There’s no way that they’re just being kind for the sake of it, everything they’d ever been told suggested that all giants were evil and they should be dead or in a jar right now. The tentative curiosity and choice to stay of the tiny toasts my eggs and scrambles my bread. The initial terror turned confusion turned curiosity turned delight. Mwah, chef’s kiss.

Also the reverse, where a giant who hates tinies gets stuck with one and slowly comes to realize that they absolutely adore them. I love those equally as much.

Dying to know if this says anything about me, assuming you’re still doing these ^^ /nf

BACK IN OFFICE BABY

This is quite the interesting scenario to discect.

So the main theme of note would be subverted expectations- interestingly, this tends to crop up quite frequently in G/t media.

Typically, this can imply some sort of projection of the self, or some reframing of another.

The main thing I would suggest to consider are the traits associated with the giant, as well as what the tiny/and possibly others think of the giant.

Even if you are more tiny aligned, I would still take the time to consider what traits are shown, and ask yourself if any of those reflect personal feelings.

A regularly occurring theme is to project ones own attributes that we see as misunderstood or overlooked onto the giant. Being shy, or intimidating can lead to us feeling unapproachable, and plant that seed in our subconscious that "If only someone got to know me, they would see that I'm [Defining Trait]"

Though that is certainly not the only route. There is another common trend in G/t, and fantasy as a whole, to reframe negative emotions- even fantasizing a different resolution. Do the "scary" traits of the giant remind you of a time you were wronged by someone? It might be that your brain is trying to reframe it to help with coping. The reframing allows for fantastical leeway to suggest they were not actually wronging you- their intentions were just misunderstood. Those thoughts help the mind to feel more in control because it shifts the blame from someone not liking you or intentionally hurting you to being a misunderstanding- a far more comforting concept that being malicious.

Reframing doesn't have to just occur with the giant archetype either. The tiny holds bias and preconceived notions of how they anticipate someone "dangerous" to act. Does the tiny remind you of anyone? perhaps someone that judged you over something you could not change?

As weird as it may be to say, the brain likes metaphors. There is a great deal of meaning within our subconscious imagery. Peeling back the layers and trying to determine what each character represent is quite the peak into the inner workings of our psyches.

Theres also another very interesting projection that could be occurring on the tiny. Do they share any negative or mistaken traits? Are these traits mirroring traits of your own?

The fact the tiny cannot comprehend why someone would be nice for the sake of being nice to them could be very telling about our own internal self reflection- and its important to analyze what traits of our own we might see of as unworthy of unconditional love/kindness.

I hope this breakdown could offer you some insight into the inner workings of this dynamic trope!

Thank you for attending this session, please see my secretary on the way out to book any follow up appointments.

[thepagemistress]

SPN Rewatch 1x07 - Hook Man

So, this is the first mediocre episode of the season, for me. As I’ve said, I do like me a haunting but this one lacks something. Just some guy slut shaming people for wanting to have some fun (although, that guy at the beginning was a creep, admittedly). But it’s weak sauce as far as motives go. I’m also just tired of puritanical bullshit being so rife lately which doesn’t help. Doesn’t endear me to Lori.

The episode doesn’t have much else going for it either, in my opinion. The murders are pretty grizzly, I’ll give it that. But I feel like either the acting is kind of ropey or it’s the dialogue, something just feels very forced and acted about it all compared to the episodes that have come before it.

Dean is particularly sleazy in this episode which is always a big eye roll, especially when it’s written sincerely. I feel like previous writers had leaned into it but it came across more as bravado than his actual personality whereas here it seems like a core component and it just rubs me the wrong way.

Also, the relationship that Sam and Lori strike up immediately just doesn’t ring true but maybe I’m just too much of an introvert to relate. But like, if some guy I just met kept showing up after people were murdered and was then was loitering outside my house, I don’t think I’d find that sweet. I would actually be calling the cops.

One thing I do like about it is the resolution. I like the symbology of the haunted item being her cross, it’s a nice touch. Although I feel like the chances of that huge hook ONLY being smelted into a necklace is slim. But lucky for them, that seemed to be the case. The scratching effect of the hook along the wall is also a neat effect, props to the VFX team for that one.

Probably the only interesting note as far as character stuff goes is the very end moment where Dean suggests that they could stay because he sees the spark between Sam and Lori. It’s a curious offer. He could instead have offered to leave Sam there since there would be no reason for him to stick around and he still wants to find John (even though it’s been made clear that John doesn’t want to be found). But Sam declines anyway because it’s too soon after Jess and he can’t open himself up to that yet, something that will get explored further into the season (and to much better effect).

Favourite part: Listen, I’ll take the wins where I can get them. Sweaty Dean digging a grave and lighting a match to burn the body? Pretty hot.

Least favourite part: Just the whole vibe, to be honest. It all feels juvenile. I get that it’s based around a frat but still.

Quote of the episode: “You don’t have to be a college graduate to be a genius.” - preeeeach

What’s compelling me to keep watching: Not much. They’d be starting to lose me here but I’d stick with it on good faith, hoping the next one would be back to form (😬)

Random things I yelled to myself during the rewatch: “Dean not being a praying man…does it ever make you insane?” “that Sheriff is having a bad week” “Lori, you need to quit being so judgemental, girl”

Rating: 5/10 – Considering what this show deals with on the regular, I just find this one too unbelievable. Definitely one I would normally skip.

And the award goes to….���: Man door hand hook car door.

[thenugking]

FLYMM? Oh boy I am excited for this one - 21, 22, 24?

21. Describe a defining moment from their past, which makes them who they are today! 

I mean I was thinking of going with the time their brother disappeared out of their life and their parents were suddenly a lot happier and they suddenly had a lot more money for a while. But I don’t know if that was defining as much as a few days of happiness over proper meals and not having to deal with Enver being a dickhead today, turning into an increasing feeling of unease the longer he was gone.

The biggest defining moment for Zephyr came several years later, when their other brother woke them up in the night and told them he was taking some money he’d hidden away and leaving, because he wasn’t sticking around to let their parents sell him like they did Enver. Here’s all the places he hides money and food that their parents don’t know about, and he suggests Zephyr use them too and get out as soon as they’re old enough, and he promises to write to check up on them but they can’t tell their parents where he is. Zephyr, who was 12 at the time, freaked out about losing their favourite brother too, and yelled for their parents to wake up and stop him. Their brother told them being a snitch wasn’t going to make their parents love them any more when there was no one else to get at, and booked it out of the house. He didn’t write any letters back after that.

It’s the biggest regret of Zephyr’s life, and also the moment that they finally stopped repressing all their concerns about their parents and suspicions of what happened to Enver, and realised that no, there isn’t anything they can do to be good enough for these people. That if there’s another debt, they’re not going to make themself helpful enough or kind enough or smart enough or quiet enough that their parents will value them as much as their own safety and comfort. It’s the moment they decided to stop trying to appease other people, while also unfortunately cementing for them that fucking up out of fear will lose you the people you care about forever.

22. How is your Tav’s relationship with their family? Their parents? 

NOT GOOD. Zephyr was the baby of the family, and growing up was the favourite, as much as Sally and Dravo had one (causing resentment from both their brothers). Once they were the only kid left, all the abuse was focused on them. They left home when they were 14, signing on to work on a ship and get the fuck out of Baldur’s Gate. They’ve come back to the city several times since, but always avoided going anywhere near the family home.

They had a bad relationship with Gortash growing up (he was… never a nice person, but certainly made worse by Sally and Dravo treating every sign of neurodivergence or normal kid fuckups as a sign that he was a monster, and took out his problems on the smaller, younger kid). Zephyr’s relationship with their oldest brother was better, though still pretty volatile, since a bunch of kids in an abusive home are never going to have great coping strategies or conflict resolution skills. By present day, Zephyr is repressing their past as much as they can (that’s the same as Letting Go and Moving On, right?) but misses both their brothers and desperately hopes they’re both safe.

Then their old associate Nine Fingers gives them the heads up that she’s been looking into the local arms dealer who’s suddenly causing the Guild a whole lot of trouble and she’s pretty sure he’s Enver Flymm, and it would benefit both of them if Zephyr would go and have a talk with him and find out what’s up. Zephyr had a whole complex mix of emotions on finding one of their brothers again. But they were pretty sure the reunion was going well, up until the moment Gortash had a steel watcher grab them while he rammed a tadpole in their eye and told them it was far too late to try and make amends (for, yknow, not stopping their parents being abusive monsters when Zephyr was an eight year old).

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

Zephyr acknowledges that they’re selfish. If asked, they would immediately go on the attack about it (that part is totally Not a character flaw!!) because fuck you, what’s wrong with keeping themself safe and happy when no one else cares enough to?? But they’d admit, to themself at least, that it’s deeply selfish of them to, say, not tell Karlach some things that she really deserves to know, just because they’re deeply enjoying spending time with her and they don’t want her to learn the truth and immediately start hating them. Zephyr’s had a lot of experience with allies turning on them on hearing about past fuck ups/things that were not in fact their fault, which is definitely down to the fact that they fundamentally can’t be good enough for people, and not because of the “immediately going on the attack whenever they get scared” thing.

[blysse-and-blunder]

In lieu of a commonplace book

it’s after midnight when I’m posting this so, on a technicality,

monday, sept 9, 2024

reading getting so so close to the end of the blacktongue thief by christopher buehlman, and it’s not like I’m not enjoying it — I am, I am— but between the length of time I have to wait each time my libby hold expires, it’s been months and I’m eager to know how things end. i like the narrative voice, and the many details that smack of not medieval but early modern europe— it gives strong post-Thirty Years War vibes, to me. there’s a gruesomeness which seems not out of place, adds to the atmosphere, but also has prepared me for things to End Badly. but since i think this is the first book in a series, I don’t expect there to be any resolution yet.

watching finished season 2 of the bear. I genuinely loved that last episode, so much, the walk-in thing felt so appropriate and the fact that things did go wrong but not insurmountably, until that very last. fucking. minute. and of course it couldn’t have gone any other way but. i can’t decide if it feels too contrived.

listening started d20’s first season of misfits and magic today, to get ready for the new one! i am a little torn at the moment because i have said before that media that is explicitly, openly trying to do harry potter But Not, and Better usually annoys me (it’s almost always so smug), and i felt the stirrings of that here too, but i have a deep well of good will for aabria and everyone at the table, and i’m open to them using this foundation as a way to say something new.

playing dipped back in to Pentiment, which goes a lot faster when i’m just playing alone (but isn’t quiet as fun—clicking around trying to find clues when it’s just you feels like it drags a little more, especially when you’re moving around the map a lot). there’s a lot more game here than i thought, which is nice. pictured: local villagers in this act of the game enjoying a merry st john’s eve bonfire.

making a dear friend gave me an origami kit a little while ago, based on the idea of my artificer d&d character tinkering with it, so: crane. turns out focusing on something delicate and precise and non-screen based is good for my stress levels, who could have predicted. hoping this leads me down a slippery slope of actually using the many other delightful craft project materials i have either collected or been given.

working on many hours this week spent on getting my course set up, with website pages, the first few assignments, the first few weeks of readings, oh and leading the first class. I barely had slides and talking points ready for after we got through the syllabus, and i can tell that, as much as i don’t want this to be a lecture course, I’m going to feel like this deep insecurity unless i make slides every week. hopefully the library visits and field trips and hands on workshops and students leading discussion will help abate that somewhat, but i still need to find ways to plan out my talking points and exercises.

also have been. neglecting all writing projects, badly, but at least spent most of today thinking a lot (in the background) about revisions on my article and maybe (?) coming up with a workable new direction.

[pageofheartdj]

Speaking of separating the fam in search for missing siblings, that’s my preferable combinations xD:

Jennika(Jessica) on topside by Splinter, Raph, Mikey and April. I just really want some quality moments between Raph and Splinter and Raph and April and Splinter and Mikey. AND I want the development/explanation of Raph & Mikey realtionships!(yes Raph & Cass would be AWESOME too, but come on, can’t win them all xD) Maybe hoping for Tang reveal.

Venus in Hidden City by Draxum, Leo, Donnie and Cass. First of all, NEED some feral energy from Donnie&Cass. And NEED something tender and/or geniune between Leo and Donnie! Also would be awesome to see the resolution between Draxum&Cass and Draxum&Leo. And of course the warrior scientists duo xD

And Casey&Sunita chilling in the Liar and helping with info!

Plus a nice color combinations: yellow, white, green, red, orange, pink and blue, azure, violet, purple, magenta and teal!

[mamamittens]

Hi! Sanji and I would like a vanilla milkshake with caramel syrup. Sprinkles and a cherry on top please. Strawberry, red bean and green tea mochi also seem really nice! I go by “Parker” and I’m short, but slightly built for my height (they/them pronouns please, AFAB) with short/half shaven blue hair that’s slightly wavy, very fair skin, and light grey/blue eyes. I’m naturally an introvert who gets anxious very easily, but when I’m comfortable I’m a lot more confident, and sometimes even flirty. I tend to hyperfocus on tasks, and ramble on when I feel extreme emotions. (I also tend to trust people too much due to a lack of true friends and ignore their red flags which doesn’t typically end well for me.)

I am SO SORRY about the delay! October really snuck up on me, ngl!

I went with a platonic/familial interpretation but it could easily be the start of something more, ya'll are both just young in this. It takes place two years before Luffy shows up, so there's time lol

Warnings: None except mild yandere vibes and possesive/protective behavior.

Word Count: 1,992

Sanji chopped the ingredients for a stew efficiently, the other staff of the Baratie working in unison to complete the orders for hungry customers. He was seventeen now, his ‘family’ years behind him. But Sanji couldn’t help the stab in his chest when he thought about them.

His poor mother, long since gone from this earth as a shell of herself. Having unintentionally instilled in him a love of cooking.

His asshole brothers and father.

His sister…

And then there was Parker. Poor Parker he had to leave behind in his desperate run for freedom. He thought about them sometimes. Wondered if they managed to survive that hellscape and if they were still so small. They worked in the kitchens and helped Sanji get ingredients—Sanji smiled remembering the dubious look Parker gave Sanji’s food but was too nervous to tell him it likely tasted like shit.

If Sanji could go back, he’d make two of the most wonderful dishes. One for his lovely mother. And one for Parker. His sweet friend that wasn’t mice in the dungeons.

But he can’t go back and Parker isn’t here, so Sanji has to just daydream about his closest friend instead. Maybe one day he’ll find a way to (safely) go back and find them. Or at least figure out where they are. Even though it would make things more difficult, Sanji hoped they got far away from his family.

Sanji blinked, startled to realize he was finished with the chopping and dicing, the ingredients neatly separated out into individual bowls.

Sighing, he got back to work. Daydreaming would only take him so far. One day, when he paid back the old man, he’d find Parker and take them to the All Blue.

One day…

A dream he’d built up in his heart for years now and would stay there for many years to come, he just knew it. After all, how could he ever repay Zeff for his sacrifice? Sanji’s eye flickered across the busy kitchen to where Zeff was working on a stew. Peg leg tapping along the floor as he shuffled to add a new ingredient.

How indeed…

Sanji’s resolution reaffirmed, he got back to work and—temporarily—put Parker and the All Blue, out of his mind.

Something he found difficult when he was ordered to take out dishes to a large traveling merchant party. The usual waitress having to go home early.

Sanji sighed in distain at the large party of men but dutifully delivered the dishes. A soup deposited in front of a small, familiar person.

“Parker?!”

“Sanji?!”

They both yelped in surprise, Sanji startled to find his arms suddenly full. Parker was different but not. That familiar floral scent mixed with herbs still present, blue waves like the sea half shaved. Parker felt strong but still so breathtakingly small in his arms. He didn’t want to let go, not ever. Suddenly halfway to his most precious dreams.

“Sanji, boy?! What the hell are you doing?!” Zeff bolted out of the kitchen. Sanji lifted his head from Parker’s hair and half turned, beaming as he lifted up Parker a little more. Parker hid their face in his chest and he let them, aware that the momentary bravery was likely followed by embarrassment.

“It’s Parker, Zeff!” Sanji grinned, resting his cheek on top of their head. The merchants Parker had apparently been traveling with laughing.

“Oh, poor thing, you’re red to your roots ain’cha?” One of them cried with a harsh laugh.

“Sweetest thang I’ve seen all my years a’ sailin’! Nevah gets old!” Another one cheered. Sanji felt a horrible twist in his chest. An impulse to drive his heel into their sternums and snap them in half, but found it died shortly as a small sniffle was muffled into his chest.

“…missed you.” Sanji felt in his heart more than he heard it.

“Well, that’s… That’s sweet and all, but are you going to let them eat or not? They look so small.” Zeff commented and Sanji acknowledged that he was right.

While nowhere near as small as they used to be, Sanji couldn’t help but worry a little. Life at sea was rough—Sanji knew from experience. They may not be skin and bones but who knew when their last filling meal was? Sanji glanced at the soup and deemed it… adequate. It was Zeff’s, he could tell, but Sanji would personally make the next one just to be sure.

Reluctantly, Sanji gave one last reassuring squeeze before letting them down.

“It’s so good to see you, Parker. How’ve you been?” Sanji asked softly, barely aware that he was cradling their face to run his thumbs over their cheeks. Checking for more subtle signs of malnourishment. Parker was blushing hard, not quite looking at him. It was an endearing as it was frustrating. He wanted those sweet, stormy blue eyes to look at him. Not somewhere over his shoulder.

“Good… left a few years after you when I got fired. Been traveling since. Hoped I’d run into you again.” Parker commented, hedging around his family. Ever mindful that he’d certainly not want it public knowledge who exactly he was related to. Sweet as always.

“We’ll catch up later. Enjoy your meal, Parker.” Sanji reluctantly conceded before Zeff started teasing him. The merchants grumbled but welcomed Parker back at the table.

“Tha’s Sanji? Who knew he’d be such a handsome fellah, huh?” One whispered to Parker, causing them to almost choke on their soup. Sanji nearly kicked him through the wall but held back, not wanting to ruin the meal or frighten Parker.

He was different from the little boy with a cage on his head, after all. Young Sanji never would have fought back or struck someone. Too timid and sweet—it was almost nostalgic to see how little the years apart had changed Parker. Meanwhile Sanji had grown.

It felt like fate that Sanji had changed so much from a little boy needing protection to someone capable of protecting others.

Sanji went back to the kitchens with a resolution in his bones.

He’d protect Parker like they protected his heart. And the first step was ensuring they stayed with him.

Sanji looked round the kitchen for his next task and could already imagine Parker at work beside Zeff as the old man personally made sure they were up to snuff. Which they would be. It’s Parker, after all. If Parker lacked skill anywhere it would be defending themselves. But that was alright. Sanji had that covered just fine.

Gladly, in fact.

The rest of the day was a bit of a blur. Sanji taking every opportunity to check up on Parker’s table or just look out into the restaurant. Just to make sure nothing was wrong. Parker seemed reasonably close with the merchants, which… was nice. Sanji would be pissed if they abused Parker or otherwise mistreated them. But if Parker was too close to them… would they even want to leave?

What would Sanji do if they were happy as they were? He didn’t think he could handle it if Parker left him even if it was fair play since Sanji left first. He had to leave, he knew that. It didn’t make it hurt any less but the thought of Parker leaving Sanji behind by choice made him want to cry.

At closing, Sanji made a beeline for the merchant ship. Desperate to know if his fears were real or unfounded.

The first thing that greeted him was laughter and the clear sound of booze being passed around. The merchants cheering around Parker who was blushing furiously with a bag in their arms.

Hopeful and elated, Sanji nevertheless waited.

“Sad to see you go, kiddo! You’re a great helper round the kitchens!”

“Can’t believe your old friend works here, that’s no small feat!”

“You’re going to be an amazing chef—assuming they take you on!”

“Ya kiddin’?! Did ya see tha look on tha owner’s face? And the boyo, Sanji? Ah’m surprised Pah’ker was allowed ta leave af’tah the bill was settled! Boyo looked fit to bundle ah’p Pah’ker and keep em!” Another refuted with a laugh. “Learn well, wee thang, and write ta us! Ah wanna hear it all~!” The crew cheered and Sanji nearly screamed.

He was such an idiot! Of course Parker wouldn’t leave him!

Sanji let his steps fall heavy on the boardwalk and several inebriated crewmembers looked back. He didn’t even mind—much—the pats on his shoulders as he passed by. He’d prefer not to be touched by men at all, but in the spirit of the occasion, he’d allow it. For Parker.

Clearly, they’d cared for Parker when Sanji couldn’t. And he wouldn’t—couldn’t—hate them for that. At least Parker was cared for.

Now it was Sanji’s turn.

Sanji stopped in front of Parker, a dopey smile on his face that Zeff and the others would have teased him mercilessly for.

“Does this mean what I think it does?” Sanji asked. Parker, still flushed, nodded.

“It’s hard work, but Zeff won’t say no to a little extra help around the kitchens. You’ve said goodbye, right?” Sanji asked, fingers twitching to pull them into an embrace. Just to see if this was real.

“Y-Yeah. They’ve been teasing me for hours now. I’m ready to leave.” Parker whined, triggering a round of laughter from the crew.

“Only outta love, kiddo! Now scram, get settled in—and you take care of them, Sanji! I don’t care who Zeff is or was, I hear little Parker’s gotten hurt I’ll take it out of your hide, ya hear!” The captain declared. Sanji paused, considering the old man for a moment.

Maybe he was jealous that they’d been caring for Parker for some time. At how close they were with them. But this? This he could respect.

“No need, old man. If Parker get’s hurt—I’m cold and dead with nothing left.” Sanji swore. An agreement was reached between them as Parker looked on, utterly baffled.

It was a gentleman’s agreement. One that Parker didn’t need to worry about.

“Uh… alright. What kind of trouble are you expecting all the way out here, Sanji?” Parker asked nervously. Sanji laughed, curling his arm around their shoulders and leading them back to the Baratie to get settled. Zeff would agree, he knew, so it was scarcely worth bothering to ask.

“Nothing I can’t handle. Anything happens, you call for me, alright? We get some rough pirates out here every so often.” Sanji complained, scowling as he could already hear Zeff whining about a new hole in the wall. Sanji paused in the doorway with a smile, squeezing Parker closer. “It’s good to have you back, Parker. This time, I’ll keep you safe. I promise.” Sanji swore.

Parker smiled back with wide, confused eyes that softened. Their arm reaching around his chest to return the gesture.

“…I never stopped hoping you made it out alive. I just thought I’d n-never know, you know?” Parker admitted.

“I did. And it’s all thanks to you. Your memory kept me going… and I guess Zeff helped too.” Sanji teased as the old man poked his head out of the kitchen with a sly grin.

“Hey, greenie! Parker, was it? Welcome to the Baratie! Any friend of my s—Sanji is welcome!” Zeff declared and Sanji blinked in surprise, his chest tightening as Zeff quickly corrected himself. Parker looked between them for a moment, gaze intense as they considered something before smiling.

“Well, the bar was on the floor frankly, but I’m glad you’ve got a nice dad now.” Sanji and Zeff choked on air, the two gasping and grasping at denials.

Despite that, Sanji couldn’t help but grin to himself. It was true. And now his family was whole. All that was left was to find the All Blue once he repaid Zeff for his sacrifice and kindness.