#but I DO love banter

[mizgnomer]

Finding the right words with David Tennant and Michael Sheen

from Staged seasons 2 and 3

[almondpiglet]

just fooling around at the speed of sound... found a cool brush to play with...

[gcballet]

Red Dwarf as tweets/textposts pt.7

<- | RD | ->

[soupandsorcery]

Emmrich: I hope you were able to get some sleep last night, Lucanis.

Lucanis: A little. Spite finally tired himself out.

Emmrich: I promise you, I will do everything I can to figure out a way to reach Rook. It just might take some time...

Lucanis: We might not have much time left.

Emmrich: I know things are dire with Elgar'nan taking over Minrathous, but I don't think we are in immediate danger as long as we remain here.

Lucanis: I'm not talking about Elgar'nan.

Emmrich: Then who...

Lucanis: I have to go tell Viago that we lost his brother.

Emmrich: Ah.

[imlebsian]

also, if gale dies and you repeat the projection's instructions back incorrectly, pretty much everyone gets fed up very quickly. except for wyll, who is very sweet and patient with tav because he's the best

[ladyinthebluebox]

wE wAnT cOmPaNiOnS tO bE mEaN aGaIn!!!!!!!!!!

my siblings in the maker, you can't handle Taash calling Emmrich a death mage couple times or [checks notes] ...asking Neve about her clothes [?????????????]

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

ok for real though i go so insane for the fact that Lucanis owns a pet snake. i'm a real life snake owner and soooo few characters in media have snakes... like i went through some Elaborate headcanons to justify giving Dorian a pet snake in DAI... and veilguard then just dumped a man who canonically has one straight into my lap!!!!! i was doomed from the start

kicking my feet twirling my hair imagining what types of snakes the various crows all own... it really is the standard assassin pet apparently. Viago obviously has venomous snakes that he keeps for their venom (for poisons, making antivenin, and to build his own tolerance). i don't think he'd consider them Precious Pets but i think he would enjoy that this is an animal where interactions are very clearly transactional and build to trust. like a snake will never Love you the way a pet mammal will (their brains simply do not produce/uptake oxytocin) but you can still form bonds with them and i think he would appreciate that this process happens in a very logical way you can predict. And he keeps them in absolutely PRISTINE care (his quote in Eight Little Talons about the one he picks up there is "He deserves my respect. And a good home—with all the mice he can eat”).

Lucanis on the other hand, I think would understand the snake does not love him but still be more attached to his emotionally anyway. maybe because he's used to loving people who don't actually care about his well-being 😭 But I think he'd appreciate a pet he can actually freehandle more. House Dellamorte is not known for poisons the way the de Rivas are, and they might still have an adder on hand for venom reasons but it's more likely they just borrow some of Viago's if needed... poison's just not their niche. If Lucanis was the one picking out a pet I think he would go for a non venomous or rear-fanged variety (aka, some venom but unlikely to bite a human) so he can actually hold it without being on high alert (i mean, in our world, you should never freehandle hots, but people do anyway & would in fiction too. but its a very fuck around/find out scenario). I feel like he and Illario would probably have the same type of snake since they grew up as brothers--Illario also clearly had an emotional attachment to his own pet snake since he got mad at Lucanis irl for a dream he had where Lucanis threw the snake out the window [EDIT: I misremembered this part, it was Viago's dream. Though I think I do remember an in-game reference to Illario also having a snake..?]. So i think both of them having a pet they play with/dote on a little more than is actually needed for a reptile fits really well here.

now as for specific pet snake species headcanons. We have VERY little detail in the snake lore in Dragon Age, despite Tevinter using it as a symbol of the country alongside dragons. i PRESUME there's many kinds of species around but who knows what... the only one we ever get mentioned by name* is in Eight Little Talons, where the writer refers to the snake Viago picks up there as an "adder" or a "death adder" but never anything more specific. Unclear if this is just writers thinking an adder is a specific species and not a class of snake or if there's only one type of adder in Antiva. I mean there's like 200 species of snake in North America and 100 or so in Europe and SOOOO MANY MORE in the tropics/asia (to be fair, there's only like 3 species in England and none in Ireland, but that's sad and those countries are tiny islands and exterminated wildlife/wildlands on purpose so we're not applying that to Thedas). Antiva has coastline and is warmer and I'd roughly classify it as similar to the Mediterranean in terms of climate, with colder winters farther inland and more humidity/closer to subtropical up north. Without the benefits of modern electricity they'd probably be keeping animals that can do well at ambient temperatures for the region. Treviso is on the coast of a bay (not full oceanic) and not too far south of Rivain, so I think we can guess at fairly mild winters & hot summers, probably tending towards drier but with monsoon-influenced humidity.

(*technically an earlier character in Tevinter Nights refers to a "venomous drake-adder" but he was lying about it being there, and we have no way to tell if he picked a real snake to pretend was around OR just made up a scary sounding snake name. alas.)

Now... given the Crow's general penchant for aesthetics I think both Dellamorte boys would be drawn to a dramatic looking variety, like a mexican black kingsnake or white-lipped python. sadly both of these absolutely stunning species are both a bit outside the climate preferences I specified (mbk live closer to true desert, wlp true tropical). I also am charmed by the idea that they caught the snakes themselves in the wild vs purchasing them, becuase that's such a childhood animal-lover thing to do (my grandma used to tell horrified stories of my dad/uncles bringing home "wagons full of snakes" they found playing outside). SO i think my top choices are either the European Thedosian cat snake (Telescopus fallax), which is a rear-fanged beauty with a grey and white checkerboard pattern. OR a Mediterranean Antivan Grass Snake (Natrix natrix, astreptophora, or helvetica), which has the added bonus of badass keeled scales . While the grass snakes come in many beautiful color morphs due to the aforementioned crow drama I am inclined to give them the melanistic color variant, for the beautiful dark black appearance. Although I am also happy with the greener varieties :) All of the above average a little over 3ft in length as adults, so reasonable pet sized. Some of the Natrix genus are more aquatic than others so would be fed on frogs rather than (or in addition to) mice, and I do enjoy the mental image of Lucanis & Illario going out once a week to hunt for dinner for their pampered pets, falling into ponds on whatever estates they're currently being trained at :) as a lighthearted contrast to, you know. every other aspect of being raised as a Crow.

Left to right: Telescopus fallax, melanistic Natrix natrix, and Natrix astreptophora)

[starch1ldz]

Morgan: Well werewolf boy over here-

Wolfdog!y/n: For the last time, Agent Morgan, I and a wolfdog hybrid. Not a werewolf!

Morgan: I don't really see the difference.

Wolfdog!y/n: The difference is, werewolves don't exist. I was genetically engineered by scientists to be a weapon. Also, if I was a werewolf, I would have eaten you by now.

[abyssal-ilk]

actually the truest difficultly of being a sera and vivienne fan is that you can't take them out together in your party without them getting into a comical cartoon fight where they dissappear in a cloud of blury motion lines and smoke and swinging fists everytime you look away from them

[forcedhesitation]

astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face

[hipsternumbertwo]

The ladies of Cindy’s 🏰 are absolutely f*%#*^% 🔥 🔥 🔥 carried the show on their backs!!!! [Digital Ticket]

[jesncin]

Okay but as a mixed race (black and white) twin myself I fuck with your Martian content severely.

AAH THANK YOU FELLOW TWIN!! I'm so glad you like my martian shenanigans!!!

[ratatatastic]

my favourite thing is that its been 3 weeks and we're still asking about the tincan ocean mishap and how it wasnt supposed to happen in the way that it did.

"i did not know that wasnt allowed i promise you...we had nobody with us to say matthew dont be an idiot dont do that" and other lies to tell yourself

KSDK News | 7.18.24 (x)

Sun Sentinel | 6.28.24 (x)

"i think somebody said its technically not allowed but i said it was too late it already happened" oh so there was someone who did do a matthew dont be a idiot dont do that to him but it was AFTER the fact huh and they only allowed this to happen on the terms that the cup wouldnt touch the water...

so heres matthew dunking the cup into the ocean and also matthew and ekky throwing benny overboard during the incident in question and yes multiple local news sources had to reassure viewers afterwards that cup in saltwater should be fine (it was not fine)

Las Olas Beach | 6.25.24 (x)(x)(x)

[benny pic came from his igstory so we mourn the fallen sourcelink o7]

heres them bringing up the cup ocean incident while sasha was in wimbledon to cheer on his gf and guest starred on the volkswagen desk for a bit a week after the incident

Wimbledon Championships 2024 | 7.4.24 (x)

and its so funny he says that he knows saltwater is bad for the cup because...

id like to bring up exhibit A (written account of him bringing the cup over to the beach which incited the cup ocean incident)

and exihibit B (visual of him bringing the cup over to the beach which once again incited the cup ocean incident)

it isnt clear if sasha was aware of the whole "dont dunk the corrosive metal into the ocean" before or after the incident i just think its particularly funny how now he has to go on tv and go yeah that was bad we cant do that from now on like a scolded kitten

and also brady getting upset over not getting credited for the idea because this is what matthew said about it when asked the day after it happened

Pat McAffe Show | 6.26.24 (x)(x)

is he absolutely in every right to get a little pissy about it? yes. does it also make him seem even more like a little brother in the process especially with the way matthew had to go BY THE WAY. IT WAS BRADYS IDEA. AND HE WAS MAD AT ME FOR NOT SAYING THAT SO IM SAYING THAT NOW BUT ONLY AFTER TARYN BROUGHT IT UP. oh yeah absolutely. from one little brother to another it very much reads like that.

EDIT: it was actually ellie his fiancee who quips this because she was in attendance during the hospital visit (youll see her in the bg here) when this interview takes place and that makes it even cuter that she was like hey remember to give your baby brother credit oh this family is so cute 😭😭

[jjoneechan]

Sapnap Spotify Wrapped

HIS NUMBER ONE!!

[zrllosyn-art]

Kikoru and Narumi Sibling banter hours FT. @izfaish who contributed!! many ideas!!!

(thank u for contributing ur doodles n ideas buddy!!!)

[pfhwrittes]

retail hell au again because why not. so imagine with me that 141 fellas find you after a miserable customer has made you cry.

warnings: reader!character is experiencing the aftermath of a panic attack/distressing emotions when she’s approached by the boys, nothing explicitly stated but she’s feeling a bit vulnerable.

fem!reader and the use of gendered pet names (hen, love) and use of the word cunt as an insult to describe a customer.

also apologies, i’m english and my grasp on scottish slang/scots has mostly been informed by the wonderful show Still Game which is distinctly glaswegian in flavour and various scottish twitter posts.

so you’re hiding out in the smoking area (lmao smoking area, okay let’s be honest it’s where a bucket filled with sand has been dumped near an ex-display bench about idk 20 feet from the customer entrance) because you just need 5 fucking minutes to compose yourself…

gaz is actually coming back from his lunch break and spots you hunched up on the bench in a way that looks truly uncomfortable. he carefully sits next to you and offers a soft smile when you look over at him. “bad customer?” he’s gentle when he asks and doesn’t make a fuss when you make a truly gross sniffling noise and wipe at your eyes. “want a hug?” you shake your head no and hunch in tighter on yourself. “want a milkshake?” you shrug and he passes over a strawberry milkshake. surprisingly he doesn’t say anything and let’s you drink in peace. you like gaz, he’s always friendly and warm when you interact briefly on the shop floor. he always seems to know what to say or do to get the best out of you and everyone else around him. eventually you check your phone and see it’s been 10 minutes since you left the customer service desk with tears in your eyes and lump burning your throat. embarrassment and residual anxiety washes through you when you recall how you’d all but fled to the safety of the smoker’s bench despite not smoking yourself. gaz catches your shudder when you check the time and knocks his shoulder into yours gently. “don’t worry, i’ll let price know you need a few more minutes, alright?” gaz gets up and heads inside the building, you know he’ll speak to price so you unfurl a little bit and chew on the straw of your milkshake.

soap and simon find you next. soap’s chattering away about the most recent delivery as they both approach your bench. simon stops dead a respectable three feet away but soap throws himself onto the bench bumping his knee into yours “what’s the matter wi’ you then, hen? you’ve a face like a smacked arse”. you shift away from soap, usually you don’t mind his directness but it’s just rubbing you the wrong way right now. you’re still feeling raw and a bit sick from finishing gaz’s milkshake and lingering anxiety. “fucks sake johnny, leave ‘er alone.” simon grumbles and fishes a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. “how? am just askin’ what’s the matter!” soap’s hands swat the air near your face and you shuffle further along the bench to avoid being hit in the nose in his agitation. “johnny.” simon snaps and soap huffs and folds his arms across his chest. it’s quiet amongst the three of you while simon taps out a cigarette and pats down his pockets looking for a lighter. soap shoots a wink at you and starts playing with a lighter that apparently has just appeared from thin air. “give me my lighter back johnny.” “gies a cigarette an’ i’ll trade it.” “no.” “c’mon simon! wan little cigarette.” “fuck off.” “awright then you miserable bastard.” you shake your head at their bickering and hold out your hand. soap pouts but drops it into your open palm. you lob the lighter in a poor underhand throw to simon who plucks it out of the air easily and nods in appreciation. “aw c’mon hen, that’s no’ playin’ fair!” soap whines and knocks his knee into yours “i thought i was your favourite.” “favourite pain in the arse.” is simon’s dry response around the lit cigarette and you crack a wobbly smile. “there she is! didn’t i tell you si?” soap’s grin is blinding “i knew we could cheer her up!” your wobbly smile starts to resemble more of its usual cheer when you catch simon’s eye roll directed at soap. you open your mouth maybe to defend soap or maybe to provoke him, you haven’t quite decided, when a pointed throat clearing catches your trio’s attention. your smile drops off your face and the anxiety that had started to quiet down in the face of johnny’s cheerfulness rises again in your belly because price is aiming a stern look towards the three of you from only six feet away.

price gently sits next to you on the bench when you’re certain simon and johnny are back inside. johnny squawking about the injustice of having his break cut short and simon calling him an idiot in response as they both disappear through the doors. you open your mouth to apologise for skiving off and offer any reason or explanation that will help your case but your teeth click shut when price holds out a palm to forestall your inevitable word vomit. “i don’t want to hear it, love.” price’s tone isn’t unkind, he’s just shooting straight with you, it’s something you quite admire about him really. “that customer was a cunt quite frankly and i’m proud of you for handling her the way you did.” the praise creates a small glow in your chest and burns away the last of your dread. “but, a word of advice, as the duty manager for today?” price offers a small encouraging smile so you nod. “you’re not paid enough to put up with that shit, so don’t.” you grimace and blow out a breath, you want to argue, maybe even defend yourself and explain that it’s fine really that’s just how retail is. price chuckles “no love, listen. you aren’t paid enough, but i am. so next time it happens, send ‘em my way alright?” price offers another smile when you nod in agreement before pushing himself off the bench. “now, c’mon. i’ve got stock that needs counting down the plumbing aisle and you can give me a hand. no more talking to muppets on the customer service desk today.” you follow price back into the store feeling much better than you did twenty five minutes ago.

the rest of your shift passes by easily enough and you make a mental note to buy gaz a milkshake as a thank you when he shoots you a friendly smile as you pass him on your way out the store on your lunch.