#but Every recurring character gets layers! No one is just one thing and it's amazing
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fishofthewoods · 1 year ago
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just reread vespertine and GOD DAMN i forgot how good this book is. Go read it right now. 17 year old aromantic autistic nun gets posessed by centuries old incredibly powerful malevolent ghost who turns out to be a huge catty bitch and also teaches her how to do self care. And theyre best friends
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gaypyro · 1 year ago
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Rating the New Champions Variant Covers
So marvel recently revealed a bunch of Varient Covers of "What if every hero had a sidekick/youth counterpart" and while I love most of the designs, some definately are better then others
#22
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I hate the Vision Design and I dont know why. Something just feels fundamentally off about it/ Maybe its the fact its a pitch white, skintight 8 year old? Maybe its the posing? The Debris? IDK Man is feels weird.
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and
#20
These two get paired together for a single reason
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It's just Billy and Teddy. I love Billy and Teddy, their some of the only actual Gay Men in Marvel, but come one guys. Certainly you can do a young Dr. Strange and Young Hulk thats different? Strange goes higher if only because I like the art more, the Young Hulk I just dislike entirely
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Speaking of uninspired, the only reason Miles is above Billy & Teddy is that at least shes a different gender then her mainline counterpart. Other then that its probably the laziest design here. Also, you may notice the webbing seems off, that will be a recurring trend here where limbs or background elements were layered improperly or something.
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I actually really like this character design. It looks like a fun character in a superhero elementry school spin-off book. The only issue um... thats Storm. Its the next gen Storm and she's white. That's basically my only issue, and why shes above the 3 I actively somewhat dislike designwise, but... Storm is one the premiere Black Superheros. Having her next gen counterpart be white feels so weird. I
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On one hand, I can 100% see normal Deadpool wearing this. On the other, the My Boy adds way to much charm for me to rate it with the other uninspired ones, and at least I dont feel like its whitewashing anything. We are at the point where I'd unironically love to see any of these designs in a book, even if its an Elseworld instead of main universe one.
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Teen Female Wolverine has been done to death, but I do like how this one goes for a more monstrous Angle compared to Laura and Gabby. The tattered, beast up costumes, beastial feet, large Ponytail giving off the deelling of a mane, nasty looking teeth, and BONE CLAWS very much makes it feel more like a feral forest mutant then the more clean, assassin design Laura had.
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The big thing I like here is it isn't a reimagining of Carol Danvers current, captain marvel outfit, but her Miss Marvel ones. We already have Kamala for a new gen version of Carols current design, so a reimigining of the old one, in a way that doesn't feel super fetishy is nice. First I thought it was a dude, but it might be a girl? Unsure.
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I really love this design, but it doesn't really scream Black Panther... and I honestly dont care. I love bright colors, makes my brain go byr, and the fact she has a completely different powerset most likely intrigues me.
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I have a weakness for fishpeople of all types ok? I find the designs naturally appealing. Even still, Starlord's Chibi Starfish Successor is neat, but not amazing. The ideas done a lot better later on.
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He looks like he is having so much fun with his Mentor. I also like how, unlike everyone else, Black Cat's Apprentice is kinda chubby. I don't know man he just seems like he'd be a fun guy to hang out with at college.
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Whats better then a succesor to one hero? a Succesor to TWO HEROES! The Captain America Succesor I feel very much has some elements of Wasp design, and I always am down for High Tech Wingspans even if they weren't intentionally going for it.
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Instead of being the Scarlet witch they made her the Magenta Witch. All in all I just really like the sorta sorceror design, especially the chosen color scheme. Also ghostly mystical fire is fun you should follow it into the swamp.
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Listen I love this design. Its in the top 10 for a reason but man... that arm. Every time I see the image I cant help but notice how insanely small his arm is, like he was supposed to have both arms resting but they decided "Have him twirl a stake so people know its blade."
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Moon Squire is here to kick ass and pass third grade math! I just like the Cowl mixed with baseball cap design lol. Moon Knight always fucking kills it with the drip though so im not surprised.
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A Friend told me It's Gwen Tennyson cosplaying Magneto and now I cant not see it. I do like that shes implied to have a different powerset then Eric as well, always fun when they did that.
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The better Chibi Venom. Only missed the top 5 since I dont think he'd be able to carry a book as the main protag, he is the perfect sidekick though. Just this mildly creepy cutie pootie handing with the fairly creepy Symbiote. After Extreme Venomverse shouldn't be surprised the Venom varient is amazing, but I am suprised thats the direction they went.
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If Next Gen Storm and Next Gen Moon Knight are in the Elementary School book, Wee-Hulk is the main god damn character. She's just a very fun little kid hulk, I especially love how shes doing the Iconic "She-Hulk holds a Car Above her head" pose with an electric scooter.
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Listen, Non-Binery Latin America Iron Man with the Criminally Underused Grey Armor design is great. They gpt Green Hair, Pronouns, and the backing of Americas #1 Arms Dealer, ready to take on the world!
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The Thing has become one of them Yancy Street Kids, and the Fantastic Four are his gang. I just love the design, Spiky Rock person is always a favorite of mine.
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Miku Ghost Rider. On Roller Skates. With a fucking Hellfire Flail. I am imagining she has an entire like, Magical Girl Transformation Sequence whenever she transforms, just with a lot more demons and fire then normal.
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Listen, I get it. Legs dont bend like that. She is objectively less creative then the last 3 or 4. But, I like Crows. I like Ravens. I like Thor. And this Thor looks like she wont take any of Odins BS when he goes shit dad mode.
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caustic-light · 3 years ago
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Okay so why is barely anyone talking about the absolutely off the charts level of amazing body type diversity in this movie?
Like, yeah every main character has their own distinct shape (as should be the case for designs of animated characters anyway) but all of the background cast, too. There is no copy pasting of bodies there, there is no defaulting to a couple different shapes, there is so many fat characters all with entirely different bodies. There is so many skinny characters all with different bodies. They understood that two ppl of the same height and same weight can have vastly different bodies based on weight distribution, bone structure, muscle to fat ratio and so on, and they showed they understand this. And as a result all the recurring background characters are distinct.
Bear with me bc I'm gonna gush about Tyler again, as I am contractually obligated to do in every one of my TR posts, but.
It's a little hard to see if you're not familiar with that kinda body type he has, because he wears multple layers of clothes, including a long shirt that covers his butt, so it's easy to not take notice of how unconventional his design is. But not only is he clearly squishy, despite being in the range of vissibly skinny to most ppl (which is something that is already really fucking rare for character designers to go for) but on top of that, he is also naturally curvy as fuck and has big hips and a pronounced butt. And that is a body type a lot of boys and men have, but do you know how many examples of male animated characters I can come up with of the top of my head who have that kind of body type?
3. Including him. The other two are Miguel from Coco and Takato ftom Digimon Tamers.
I can not put into words how good it feels to see a character who looks the way I used to look when I was thirteen. A body type that most designers pretent doesn't exist. That most ppl will not differentiate from basic skinny boy but that a lot of boys feel so self concious about that they will hide it to pass as generically skinny. Dressing for example the way Tyler doed in the movie.
And I figure it's not just him. I am less personally attatched but I can't come up with a lot of characters from anything that look like Mei either. Or like Miriam. I have seen plenty of young teenagers who look like her but her entire vibe and design consists of traits that i feel are usually restricted to older teen characters.
And that's another thing. These kids are thirteen to fourteen. All of them will be at vastly different levels of development and the movie shows it. It shows all the messed up invetweens of puberty, at the absolute height of awkward and mismatched childlike and adultlike traits. You have characters who look like children, you have characters who would probably pasd as adults by the time they're fifteen and you have so much beautiful awkward transitionary phases.
There is a thing happening where visual media tends to pretent puberty doesn't exist. You have child actors for prebubescent roles and almost all teenage rolls are played by either older teens or adults. The amount of media depicting young teen characters by actual young teen actors peaked in autum 2017 when both IT and Stranger Things did it at roughly the same time and since then has kind of gone back down.
This creates an illusion where we kind of stop seeing kids that age in how we percieve age. We kind of just get used to prepubescent children smoothly transitioning into what may as wrll be smaller and more oyuthful adults. And it fucks up our perception of age on a significant level. Look at the discourse about Call Me By Your Name where people called Elio "visibly a teenager" and Oscar "visibly an adult" when their actors were in their 20s and 30s respectively.
This has consequences and they go beyond the awkward charm of Breakfast Club casting.
Imagine what this does to pubescent teenagers. To see themselves erased from representation because that stage of development is too awkward for TV. Think about what that does to someones mental health.
So yeah, ppl should talk more about the body type diversity in this movie.
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newtonsheffield · 4 years ago
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I love love love love love this Brigerton and sons universe! You’re such an amazing writer! I wish I had even half of your talent!!! 😍 I was just re-reading it from the start and was wondering something (Just me being too involved in this story, sorry!) but how did things go the first night Kate and Anthony slept together. I know there was obviously a lot of passion but was there any awkward bits. I can imagine knowing someone that long and then the relationship progressing might be a bit weird
Oh Heyyyyyyyy
I love love love love love you for reading this ridiculous little universe that I keep forcing into existence with reckless abandon! I think at this point Julia Quinn herself would have to be like “Molly, honey, you have to stop” and then maybe I would consider it. You’re very kind to comment on my writing style which is...chaotic at best but then my character alignment has and always will be chaotic good so can we really be surprised? And Talent? She surely has none (she is me) but I will say this for myself: I’m certainly very determined and indeed I genuinely feel bad for people trying to search for Kate and Anthony content in the tags and have to wade through my relentless posts to find it! 
Ahhh Kate and Anthony’s first night together. It was beautiful and they were both very satisfied. Let’s leave it there. 
I’m kidding, Let’s dive in. (I’ll apologise in advance for it because... it’s...well bad... eh you’ll see for yourself)
Kate Sheffield had been attracted to Anthony Bridgerton for an embarrassingly long time by the time she found herself in the back of a town car with him, his teeth grazing her collarbone in a way that had her spine shivering with anticipation. From the very first time she’d seen him there’d been a little flutter in her stomach when their eyes met that she’d pushed down under layers of frustration and irritation and yes, possibly some denial. But she’d never really thought about sleeping with him, would have honestly never have allowed herself to, and definitely hadn’t intended too tonight. She certainly couldn’t be blamed for whatever images her demented subconscious had twisted into that dream where Anthony’s eyes had burned into hers and they’d moved together and his voice had whispered rough in her ear Come on Sheffield, Let go and she’d woken with a start her hands twisted the sheets and had to stand in the open door of the refrigerator to cool down. And she certainly couldn’t be blamed for the startling frequency with which it recurred.
And honestly, she’d barely been thinking by the time she’d stumbled into the front entrance of his house and he’d pressed her up against the door and whispered “Can I take you upstairs?” His voice like a desperate whine in her ear. And when she nodded a little desperately herself and he growled as he practically dragged her up the stairs, laughing and giggling the entire way, threw open the door of his bedroom with a startling bang! and pushed her firmly down onto his mattress she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to think again. 
By the end of the night she had learned three delightful facts about Anthony Bridgerton  
He was unfairly attractive. And yes, perhaps this shouldn’t have been news to her given the fact he’d had her in a panic every time he’d so much as stood next to her for nearly a year now. But he seemed even more so in this setting. She’d known he would be muscular, could feel it against her finger tips when she’d hastily unbuttoned his shirt, delighting a little in the way the muscles had jumped a little at her touch, as though she held electricity in her finger tips. But it was quite a different thing to see him crouching over her, the moonlight highlighting his face, to feel his muscles, and the powerful tension they carried pressed against her was something different entirely. And suddenly she had the startling realisation that she’d probably never ever be able to look at him across the conference table at work again without thinking about how his stubble had scraped at the inside of her thighs and how is hair between her fingers had felt positively sinful.
He was very generous. He’d pushed her back on the mattress after he’d slid her dress off and his eyes had washed over her and she’d felt the heat of his gaze linger on her lingerie for just a moment before he’d knelt before her, ripping his shirt off that still hung unbuttoned on his shoulders, tugging her firmly towards him and Kate had had time to feel only a little self conscious before he’d looked at her with such longing as his fingers had run little patterns around the tops of her stocking and he’d said This is... This is okay right Kate? As though he was waiting for her to slap his hands away and run crying from the room and the way he was looking at her was so absolutely intoxicating how could she say but God Yes. Please Anthony and the wicked little smirk he’d given her had been sent straight from hell to ruin her she was sure as he dragged her stockings down with his teeth, catching her thighs just a little, and when she’d fallen apart for him three times in embarrassingly quick succession he’d surprised her very much by saying God Kate, I’m so sorry I wanted to wait longer but I can’t wait anymore. And her only coherent thought in her very blissful state had been Jesus what more could you possibly have wanted to do?! But instead she’d pulled him firmly towards her pulling his lips towards hers and whispered Don’t then just before they met. 
He was very chatty. Sure, Anthony had always been vocal enough when they’d sparred verbally across the table. But in general, he was the stoic silent type, only speaking when he had something important to say. And, Kate supposed, perhaps he found this important to say. Talking during sex had never been something Kate had been particularly fond of, in fact during one awful interlude at the end of their relationship Kate had said Jesus Harry can you just stop?! but when Anthony Bridgerton was moaning in her ear. God she thought she might die right then and there. It was relentless. A constant stream of So beautiful, So good, Oh god, Fuck Kate,Perfect and her name whispered like a prayer again and again into the night. And Jesus Christ she couldn’t help herself as their moans mingled together. And when he collapsed on top of her, and she’d made a half hearted attempt to roll away from him after several seconds, even though she loved the sound of his heartbeat slowing in her ear and she was sure if she tried to walk, her legs would collapse from under her if she tried to stand, she’d felt very content when he’d made an exhausted disgruntled noise and pulled her tightly against him again. And truly when he’d whispered I’ve never felt like this before. I didn’t even know I could. She’d had to try her best not to cry
Truly, in the end Kate had been surprised by how natural everything had been, how right it had felt to take this step with a man she’d known for so long and professed to hate so publicly. She’d thought it might be awkward and stilted and that she’d feel desperate to cover herself from his gaze. But honestly, she’d never felt so desired or considered or loved (as terrifying as that was) as she had, right there in Anthony Bridgerton’s bed. That didn’t of course mean she was going to let him get away with things so easily, that she could stop herself from saying 
“That was a real date right?” and being very satisfied by the startled choking noise he made. 
God. I am so sorry. Somebody kill me             
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shiroi---kumo · 2 years ago
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Ten Q’S:
1. when are you usually online?  
Nearly every day! I work from Friday to Tuesday (4:30am - 12:30pm EST) Wednesday and Thursday are my days off so I’m on for most of the day those days. I have a scheduled therapy appointment every other Thursday at 10am.  
I always pop in on my breaks at work though so (8am and 11am)  for about 30 minutes. If you see me posting otherwise within my scheduled work hours I’m probably cheating and using my phone real quick. I pop in every now and then to post a meme or check things but I don’t really start doing replies / posts until after I get home from work. (I normally take some kind of a nap though because I’m tired from waking up so early)
2. what verses are you involved in outside of this page?
Kumo has A LOT of verses but he mostly lives in main verse (Creeping Shadows of Anarchy) with @kazeofthemagun​. I have in series verses, pre-series verse and crossover verses too! I’ve made him verses for FMA and KH. Making him verses for other places is easy too because it’s so simple to cross him over with other series / muses.  
Probably my second most involved verse is actually my FMA verse “Amestris No More.”   It’s come to involve quite a few blogs and different threads. It’s one giant story involving all the poor souls from FMA who have gotten sucked into Wonderland.  It’s a lot of fun and I honestly love it dearly.
You can find the rest of Kumo’s verses here. 
3. what is your biggest RP pet peeve?
Just talk to me. It drives me insane when people avoid talking to me for whatever reason. Communication. It drives me insane. I think my other one that’s come up more as of late is no means no.  If I tell someone no to something, that’s all I should have to say.  
4. are you drawn to specific types of muses?
Abso-fucking-lutely. Most of my muses tend have things in common like (but not limited to) white hair, trauma, younger in age, bitey personalities, red hair, blond hair, sarcasm, smartasses, selfless, etc.  I have a type and I know it but they don’t always fall into that categories. I have some weirdos in there like Yeager. 
5. are there recurring themes in your writing that people might not notice?
I write in layers. I write massive foreshadowing constantly and if you keep up with threads consistently you’ll see that most of the time they all tie together. (This happens when I do Arcs with a single muse / Amestris No More.)  I echo drabbles I’ve written in threads with the same muse. I echo things from threads ago in a current one. Sometimes a single paragraph I’ll write has three different meanings to it.  I write in layers. 
I’m gunna use this as an example here because Quen liked it so here we go: 
“ The sun wasn’t meant to mix with the rain because when it did … it only brought out the rainbow. “
Kaze is the sun side of the Unlimited pair.  
“Is it going to rain?” is what Kumo’s brother would ask him when he was about to cry. 
Aura (Kaze’s sister) and Lou (a girl he cared about) are the only characters in the series with the soul soil being called “Tears of the Rainbow”  and when they died to give up their soil, it was the only two times in the entire series Kaze shed tears.
The sentence actually reads “Kaze shouldn’t cry because when he does it only means his loved ones have died.” 
I write in layers. 
6. what are your favorite RP trends?
I absolutely adore dash commentary or people sending asks / anons about current events in threads or headcanons ect. I love when the dash will blow up into everyone talking because of a single thing that got said. I just adore that. It gives that community feeling and I live for that.
7. what is your process for starting a new story with someone?  
If we’re going in with the long haul, then there is half a million plotting conversations that take place. I have disco servers dedicated to ARCs for organization purposes. I have replotted scenes with someone at least 20 times so when we get there it’s amazing. I need triggers. I need to know what people are chill with.  I talk things out A LOT.   But if it’s just memes and stuff, oh I just wing that shit. 
My Multi-thread interconnecting story ARCs? Oh those get talked about near constant. 
8. how do you feel about duplicates?
I would laugh at the sheer concept of Kumo ever having one but I mean hey if I’m crazy enough to RP in this dead and buried fandom maybe someone else is too and I mean, good on them if they do.  I’ve written with duplicates in the past on other blogs. I’m pretty chill about them. Just like you do you. We’re just vibing here. 
9. how long have you been involved in roleplaying?
Uhhhh 22 years now? Yeah it’s been a minute.
10. is there a muse or verse you wish you could write in, but haven’t?
I just want more people in this fandom. I’m content to just keep side musing basically everyone with Quen though. It’s kinda like we’re just splitting the series down the middle and going crazy because it’s just us. LOL  Really if anything?  I’d love it if people wanted to talk more to my Misterican OCs. I made a meme for it and everything. Look I know they’re dead present day but it helps grow that world.  You can even talk to Kumo himself when he was a kid! I would love to write more of him before he lost it all and got insanely depressed.  (Prince Pilvi. He’d still be going by his given Misterican name) 
stolen from @curseleads​ // @deathleads​
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randomtvpollsjp · 2 years ago
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I’ve finished my TVD rewatch and I’ve got a lot to say! And I’m sorry, but y’all are gonna hear it.
***
THINGS I LOVED
Everything To Do With Doppelgängers: I could not get enough of Katherine Pierce in particular. But something about Doppelgängers being magical but not so magical that they’re POWERFUL was very unique. And it made Elena special without making her some type of amazing, overpowered magical creature. No, she can’t defend herself against a vampire. She’s an average 17 year old girl. And the gag of finding out that STEFAN was a doppelgänger too—and the jealousy that made Damon feel—was high drama. Chef’s kiss.
Vampire Lore: Vampires have special abilities that you don’t often find in vampire stuff. Their strength and speed is to be expected. But the rules about turning, their healing blood, compulsion, the humanity switch and dream manipulation were really cool abilities. Not to mention the origins of vampirism coming from witchcraft was really cool.
The Pacing: Specifically as it relates to how they introduce conflicts and villains into the show. Before one villain arc ends, another villain arc begins. It feels very organic and allows for the seasons/chapters to flow from one into the other. It feels cohesive while also feeling like A LOT happens in every season.
THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE
The Mistreatment Of Witches: Witches are arguably the single most powerful (and useful) creatures in the show. And yet, they’re just a smidgen less disposable than the average human. They have little to no defense against other supernatural creatures (unless they plan for them in advance), which makes them too easy to kill when up against an actual threat. Bonnie especially suffered because of this. She’s had her neck bitten into too many times.
The Mistreatment Of Bonnie: Tied into my first point is just how unfairly Bonnie was treated throughout the show. All the characters are WILLING to die for each other. But Bonnie often does. Or has to make a huge sacrifice. There were whole seasons when Bonnie lost access to magic for doing something good. And she’s rarely ever rewarded for her sacrifices. I was particularly triggered by the fact that Enzo was so brutally ripped away from her as a way to level her up. And the writers knew they were tormenting her (more than once she’s made to put everybody else’s needs above her own, and she acknowledges this) and they never really stopped doing that. Even up to the end. We never find out what her life is like. Did she fall in love again? Have kids? Carry on the Bennett line? Hang out with her mom more?
All Big Bads Were Not Created Equal: Over the 8 seasons, there were a lot of villains. But some were wayyyyy more interesting and powerful than others. Katherine is a standout and recurring antagonist for me. But I also think Klaus, Silas and Kai were exceptional. The others were mostly ok, but lacked depth. For example, Cade was an interesting antagonist. But he was just PURELY evil, which made him less interesting overall. Because he wanted the Salvatores to make good people do evil things. He was irredeemable. Klaus came across as very evil, but we got to see so many layers to Klaus that even if he did awful things, we saw him as three-dimensional. So we came to understand and maybe even LIKE him. I ain’t never liked Cade. I liked Sybil the Siren more than I liked Cade.
Too Many Plot Contrivances: This show doesn’t have a lot of holes. But by GOLLY are there a lot of conveniences. TOO many conveniences. For example: we had never heard of siphoners before meeting Kai. And then by the end of the season, Damon and Stefan’s long-supposed dead mother has a coven of vampire-siphon hybrids as friends?! This was a problem that especially plagued the later seasons. Didn’t like that.
***
Overall, I enjoyed my rewatch. Standout seasons, IMO, are S1 (arguably, the season that stands up THE BEST), 2, 3, 6 and 8. The other seasons are fine and have good chapters. But these 5 are my favorite.
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dracosaurusrex · 4 years ago
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Palace
Summary: In which you discover a new love in the midst of your heartbreak.
Prompt:  “with you, I thought I knew love. but maybe I still don’t” A/N: Hi y’all! So this is my take on the @minty-malfoy ‘s 300 writing challenge :) (Congratulations my friend! You’re amazing!) I have to admit, writing angst is not my strong suit, and I had to do some research to grasp what it was. Within my findings, something that caught my attention in particular was the fact that angst is defined as going through the character’s emotional workings, topped with a newfound sense of strength. There might be some holes present, but overall this piece is molded on that understanding, and I hope it reaches out to you in whatever way that resonates the most.
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Throughout her years at Hogwarts, Y/N had been able to pick up a number of skills. She may not have been as good at studying as Hermione Granger, or as athletic as Ginny Weasely, or even as creative as Luna Lovegood--no. You were an average girl who didn’t have much to show for except your ability to hide behind a thick mask.
You were typically known for your kindness, which was complimented by a pair of sparkling e/c eyes, a warm smile, and a nurturing personality. Additionally, you were graced with a good sense of humor and an infectious laugh. To all of your friends, you were the embodiment of the sun; a girl whose being was commonly associated with terms such as, “beautiful”, “genuine”, and “loving”. A girl who never seemed to show any indication of internal conflict, who had everything under control.
These perceptions always came in handy, for they molded into the shape of a mask when times became rough for you. Because of this, you were capable of fooling everyone into thinking that you were okay.
You felt your consciousness resurfacing from sleep as the morning lulled your body awake. Your eyes fluttered open to the ceiling with your fingers interlaced over your chest. Meanwhile, rays of early light infiltrated random crevices of the dorm, and birds were singing rather loudly outside of your window. Allowing yourself to lay in the stillness, you treasured the moment, took deep breaths, and basked in what felt like peace.
Your surroundings were blissful--and you were grateful--but waking up now equated to reuniting with the recurring tightness that gripped your heart. Memories of a love that had once initiated butterflies had transformed into needles that prickled your chest. A love that once caressed you now felt like a ghostly presence. 
‘Where did it all go wrong?’ You found asking yourself as of late. As you laid in bed, you allowed old scenes of your time with Draco Malfoy to play in your head, recalling the feelings attached to each.
You remembered the rush of adrenaline that you felt the first time you had confessed. You remembered the relief combined with excitement when the feelings were confirmed to be mutual.
You remembered the feeling of your heart skipping when his fingers first slipped into yours, hands intertwined like a glove.
You remembered the temporary sense of confidence that overcame when you initiated the first kiss and the shock that appeared on both your faces after realizing what you did. 
The first “I love you”.
You remembered your first time with him--the sweet whispers, the moans, the laughing, the feeling of pleasure as you came onto one another. You remembered the way his fingers stroked your hair as you laid on top of him with his free arm wrapped around your waist.
You recalled memories of exchanges of comforting words during moments where either one of you felt doubt or unease. 
You remembered the inside jokes you made, the goofy side of him that he only showed to you.
You remembered the plans you both have made, the exhilarating thought of sharing a future with him. The way he gripped your hands and looked into your eyes as he made promises that ended up being broken. 
You remembered the thrill of it all--the palace you had built with him, and how you’ve done so fearlessly until it came crashing down. 
You recalled all the love you had ever given him, all of yourself you had devoted to him, all the dreams, the hopes, the what-could’ve-beens in the moment the words fell out of his lips:
“With you, I thought I knew love. But maybe I still don’t.” Draco uttered in a bare whisper. 
He kept his hands clasped on his lap as he avoided looking at you. You had found yourselves sitting on the edge of his bed with the moonlight illuminating his dorm.
Just a couple weeks ago you were in his arms, sharing kisses without any thought that this would happen--you were on top of the world--but when it did, you felt knots forming over your chest and your stomach. A sob had dared to come up, but you gulped it back down into your throat. Your mind was racing and your eyes were tearing, but you wouldn’t allow your tears to fall. You couldn’t. 
Instead, you grabbed both sides of his face and smiled weakly. 
“Draco, I’ll always love you. I’ll always care for you…” Your lips started to tremble as you looked straight into Draco’s eyes. They were filled with so much guilt.
Breathing in and out slowly, you continued, “I just hope the next girl will be able to make you even happier and take care of you much better than I did.” 
Your lips were pursed into a tight line as you tried to give a convincing smile of reassurance. Your throat started to sting because of the resistance you made towards crying. In doing so, a tear had found a way to roll down your cheek. He grabbed your wrists as you continued to hold his face, his eyes glazed over with regret. His lips trembled as he witnessed your efforts to be strong. 
“Y/N, I’m so sorry! I never wanted to hurt you at all! I-” You hushed his frantic whispers.
“Don’t worry about me, my love. I promise you everything will be okay.” It was at this point that Draco let out the gasp of despair he held in. He proceeded to reach out to wipe your tears. You closed your eyes and allowed them to fall at this point, leaning into his touch for the very last time. Once you opened them, you did the same and wiped the tears that had stained his porcelain skin. Draco sat there stunned at how much you were holding in.
You whispered, “We’ll be okay. Okay?” He could only nod. You remembered the last time you leaned forward to kiss his lips. To your dismay, he didn’t respond. As you drew yourself away from him, you stood up straight and attempted in giving one of your signature smiles.
“I guess I’ll see you around Malfoy.” 
You recall feeling dead upon arriving at your dorm. Your eyes were puffy, and you thought you finished crying, but as you tucked yourself to bed, the tears you had kept began to fall.
You broke away from the memory as you silently wiped the tears that had formed in your eyes. It has been about a month since your break up. You hadn’t talked to the boy since then. Instead, you made it a priority to reconstruct your life. Your friends would constantly try to comfort you by saying things like, “Go show him what he lost” or “He doesn’t deserve you, Y/N!” You appreciated their efforts, but Merlin knows that it’ll take a while for you to heal. You couldn’t bring it upon yourself to be angry at him. While the moment left a bitter taste in your mouth, you knew deep inside that the love you shared for one another was never a waste of time. 
With a huff, you jolted from your bed, grabbed your uniform, and dragged your legs to the bathroom to get ready for the new school day. The way you handled yourself now was done more carefully than how you used to. Every motion--buttoning your shirt, tucking it into your skirt, tying your tie, and throwing your jumper over your body--was done with more caution. You brushed your hair straight, running your fingers through any tangles, and clamped it into a simple half-do. As you stared into the mirror, you took notice of your appearance. The red tint that lined the edges of your eyes as a result of the tears you shed earlier. You notice the bags that have formed, the slight peeling of your lips. You began to fix your face by applying a light amount of foundation and mascara, followed by a thin layer of tinted chapstick. Slowly, the indications of your sadness dissipated as you put on your makeup. You weren’t really the type to praise yourself, but as you stared at yourself in the mirror once more, you had to admit that you felt a bit pretty. ‘It’s a step forward. Here’s to another day’ You smiled slightly at your reflection, and made your way to the Great Hall.
So far, you managed to show what you considered to be your normal self to your friends whenever they were in your presence. Not wanting them to worry, you did your best to seem energized every time you were joined in their conversations, inserting laughs, and adding on to the fun when needed. You felt obligated to show everyone, including Draco, that you were okay. It’s been like that ever since things ended. The entire student body was aware of the fall. Both you and the boy looked very off the day after it happened. However, slowly but surely, you had reverted back to your sunny self, surprising many of those around you. Only you knew that it was a facade though, and that deep down inside, you still pined for the ghost of your relationship. 
Your thoughts often drifted to him. He was sat in the Slytherin table with his usual group of friends. As you took small glances at him, you wondered what went on in his mind, how he felt about you, and whether or not he misses what you had shared with him. You wondered if he took notice of the energy you conveyed, if he noticed the smile that was plastered on your face now that you weren’t together. Was he convinced with your little charade? 
You broke your gaze from him the moment he turned his focus to your direction. Not wanting to get caught, you chimed into their conversation once more, a convincing smile of enjoyment on your lips.  Once you felt that enough time had passed, you discretely glance at him again, only to have your eyes meet ever so slightly. The time for your classes to start was drawing near. Wanting to be alone in your own thoughts, you left them to walk around.
The hallways you roamed in taunted you as you began to recall, once again, figures of your memories. A warm feeling rose in your chest as you relished the small moments of laughter, playful kisses, and the heart-racing sensation of the back hugs he gave. It was ironic, but reminiscing helped you cope. Perhaps it was the thought of another chance. At the same time, however, you couldn’t deny that it might’ve been the result of the fear of moving on. You sighed, allowing your mind to push away the harshness of the latter. ‘Today will be a good day. I’ll make sure of it.’ With the feeling of encouragement overcoming you once again, you set off to your first class with a new sense of optimism. You weren’t sure about how long the feeling would last, but now that you had it, there was no point in taking it for granted. After all, as long as you were alive, the Earth would still continue to turn, and your commitment to reconstructing your life blazed on. 
The fluctuation between sadness and inspiration was a common occurrence in this point of your life. There were nights that felt completely agonizing, but there were also moments where you felt as though you were slowly falling in love with your life and the potential that it holds. It was then that you felt such enlightenment had brought you raw joy and peace. No masks or facades. No fake smiles. These were found in very minuscule fragments throughout the day. It took the form of the sense of concentration that you had when you studied, the feeling of achievement when you understood a difficult concept. It also embodied the scent of rain when it pours, the cold air that accompanies the sunrise, the sight of bookshelves in the library, the blissful feeling of getting lost in muggle literature. Joy was found in the sounds of the crackling fire, a satisfied belly after a good dinner, as well as the company of friends who have seen you at your worst. You were enchanted by the thought of filling your life with these wholesome moments--to take control and be the artist as you paint such details into your canvas. Sometimes such joy became so overwhelming that the heartache you felt seemed nonexistent.
‘How nice would it be to share it with you, though.’ You thought of him.
And perhaps you would be able to one day; but for now, within the sadness you were beginning to embrace this new love. A love that surpassed the borders of romantic affections.
Draco’s words would ring in your mind whenever you thought of this. You would create scenarios in your head, formulating what you would’ve said to him that night with all the newfound wisdom you had now.
“I thought I knew what love was when I was with you also. However, I can now see the pieces of my true love. How it surrounds me whether you’re by my side or not.” You said to yourself, wrapping yourself in hope as you amount to build your own palace once again.
A/N: I might make a second part to this to show Draco’s view on Y/N’s growth, but we’ll see hehe! I hope that moments of peace and bits of joy make their way to you no matter how hard life may become. You’re all deserving of love <3 Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a great day!
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shamelessllamapeanutthing · 4 years ago
Text
Ships and Feels about them
HUGE self-indulgent post but my brain is frozen and I need to get the juices flowing so I can start studying, because if I don’t get into the college I want I just might have to kill myself and then y’all can say bye-bye to your fav fics by your majesty. 
YoruSoi- status: worSHIPPING (geddit? XD) them like the goddesses they are
I regularly play Wicked Ones by Dorothy and just imagine these two tag-teaming against their opponents, like the crazy, badass, ninja lesbians they are. It fucking gives me goosebumps and makes me blush like I am imagining them rawing each other instead. I am a big time SUCKER for powerful, cut-throat wlw. They make me feel powerful by extension, and my devotion for these two is completely unparalleled. 
VictUuri- status: will protect them with my life  
First of all, I love how layered and interesting they are. I can think about this show and this ship for hours and hours on end ( @feastingonvicturi will vouch for that). I naturally gravitate towards angsty ships and writing (because I am a weird sado-maso cross, what can I say) except for these two fluffy bastards. I had been putting off watching YOI because of the weird things I had read about ‘yaoi’ animes (IK YOI is not yaoi, now) till someone told me how pure and deep their love for each other was and welp, here we are. 
RenRuki- status: comfort ship I’ll defend till death
It was one of my first ships and even as I multi-shipper, I always had a preference for them. Childhood-friends-to-lovers trope tugs on my heartstrings like little else and Renji’s devotion towards Rukia warms my heart. I hear them in nearly every song, imagine them in every scenario I read or write about and even though I have multiple ships I adore involving Rukia and Renji both, the two together is everything to me. (Presently obsessed with the amazing hcs and art by @recurring-polynya you might wanna check them out)
KaiRay- status: heart is taking a break, but remains firmly attached
I got into Beyblade BECAUSE of this ship, because of the moments these two shared in V-Force that I caught glimpses of when my younger siblings were watching the show. I love Kai and Ray’s dynamic and I guess what attracts me the most to this ship is the fact that as a teenager I was exactly like Kai and had my own personal Ray who got me through the worst in life. I love the sense of sweet nostalgia this couple brings me and I believe they are perfect for each other. 
MariahEmily- status: coffee shop AU, anyone? 
I was HUGE on MariahxRay but strong, stylish, kinda bitchy, dumb thot falling for the highly educated and fierce lady boss she doesn’t really know how to approach is another one of my favourite tropes, (see: PansMione, down under). I saw them interact and due to personal reasons my brain rejects petty rivalry between girls (because we’re all tired of that, children, be honest) and immediately tries to fix it in fanon. ( @trashyartz  and her beautiful drawings had a lot to do with fanning these flames.) 
ShunUki- status: want them to adopt me
Need I say more? No, but I wanna. I love the steady, secure vibes of this ship. This is the one ship I physically can’t write angsty shit about because of the level of understanding and sense of comfort these two share. They give me kind and strong dad vibes and I have emotionally been an orphan since I was in my early teens so. 
WolfStar- status: they’re canon, JKR can suck my toes
Fucking TERF 
Listen, listen, have you been listening? I mentioned I am a sucker for angst, right? Are you looking at the angst potential here, cause wow. What originally attracted me to this ship was the Chemistry between the two, cause it’s undeniable. You can NOT imagine Maurauders’ Era without imaging these two pining over each other. It’s impossible. 
PansMione- status: toxic and problematic, but oh so hot
I got on this ship because I was craving some quality wlw ships. You guys’ I can not explain to you how often female characters in shows and books do not pass the Bechdel test and I stumbled on some gorgeous PansMione art and just fell in love. IK this ship is hella problematic, but I am firm on my stance that the baby Slytherins deserve a redemption arc. 
Can you imagine these two after Pansy realises everything she did wrong and vows to be better? I imagine Hermione stumbling on a hurt and confused Pansy in year 8, who can’t stop her tears from flowing and is so ashamed of herself for that. She is feeling guilty and resisting the emotion with everything she possesses because the world she’d always known has crumbled down around her and everything she believed in has now been proven to be wrong. 
She lashes out at Hermione because how dare that smart, gorgeous, courageous girl also be everything Pansy once thought she was? How dare she, a muggleborn, unravel the complicated threads of the wizard world so quickly, so efficiently, and clearly see what Pansy never could? Pansy is hurt and guilty and angry and she hates the fact that fucking Granger of all people has now witnessed her crying. 
She feels lost and her anger only rages louder when Hermione doesn’t gloat or belittle her, she doesn’t say anything. 
(Why is this turning into a ficlet, WHAT) 
Anyways, Pansy gets over herself and she and Hermione get together and oh my god, imagine them then. Smart, powerful, righteous Hermione taking the fucking Wizarding World by a storm every single day with her sexy, vivacious, clever Pansy by her side. They’d be unstoppable and they’d love each other something fierce. It would show in the way they look at each other, with a sense of victory, not only over Voldemort but over the entire Wizarding society that had done everything it could to tear them apart, and ultimately failed. 
(BONUS: Imagine Ron and Harry being utter dorks when they go to Pride parades with Hermione and let the image cleanse your skin and soul. @feastingonvicturi @trashyartz one of you (or both?) needs to collab with me so I can write a fix it fic for these two, please. I will pledge my soul to the devil to be used and abused as per Trashy’s whims in exchange. Taura will do it cause she’s my best friend and loves me more than I deserve to be loved.)
(In conclusion, I adore every single one of these ships and am willing to slice a bitch’s throat to protect their honour. Except for YoruSoi, they are fictional characters IK but I am convinced they do not need anybody’s protection, least of all this dumb fuck’s and just might laugh at the very idea.) 
Also, feel free to reblog or comment with rants about your own ships even if they go directly against mine. More love to you if you expand on the ships I mentioned here myself. Tell me about your poison of choice, go ahead. 
But if any one of you dares to send hate to any of my ships, please know that I am something of a God in my own capacity and will smite you with my preferred weapon of choice i.e. blindness in the face of adorable puppies or kittens (in pictures, videos, art, real life or otherwise). Beware. Let people love what they love.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years ago
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returning the favor: do you have any hcs re: winston, past or present, that you haven't expounded upon before or at length or just feel like talking about again. whatever you like
Thank You.......yeah idk really what hc's i've like "officially" described here that often lol, but then also there's that whole complication where i don't really ever come up with ideas & when asked anything i'm probably going [???] like, classics like "what do you like out of [broad parameter]" & it's like damn....i dunno. what ideas do i have about winsotn who i've thought about every day for > 2 yrs??? that's tough.....& Then the further chaos of like, when i do have hc's or w/e it's less discrete, concrete invented ideas & more towards the end of the spectrum that's like "well i kinda interpret this part of canon vaguely this way" &/or "i have This vague notion that i haven't solidified into a pretend fact or that i'm not at all committed to or take that seriously" where it's like, not only is this not really nailed down but it's basically free floating / i might have other ideas that would contradict each other lol. seems like a more concise list of Stats that are fully/exclusively my ideas is more exciting, but instead i can offer vague "i dunno / what ifs" based on vibes that i verbosely describe lmao, plus i'll forget a bunch of ideas i may have had i'm sure but you know. what else have i ever offered; never really trying to sell this material to otherwise uninterested parties or only make posts that guaranteed more than one person might enjoy, why would i be starting now; and ig if i write a bunch of stuff here & go "oh & i forgot like a half dozen obvious things" i can add on to it if it's a big deal.....plus it's always tricky with billions in particular being vague abt its own characters lmao, we only see [outside of work] personal stuff if it's going to become directly tied to [definitely at work] professional plotlines, or Maybe glimpse some character contextualizing things for the more central characters....side characters have more blanks to fill but also that means. just more that's blank lol & kinda a mystery of Up To Interpretation.....i figured one way to have any structure for this at all is to have a part looking at each winston involving episode's info. well anyways, after this meandering intro that kind of illustrates how i'm sure the rest of things will go here lol, i'm just gonna throw a bunch of stuff down in general. thanks again for the prompt to do so, b/c why not
really the one concrete discrete idea i have which isn't in the canon text is, of course: he is autistic
does he Know? idk. either way, think he's pretty aware of how he operates (& how he Can't operate), but if he doesn't know that's probably more for the "also: he's self loathing, which was basically textually implied" stuff lol. just mentioned it but i do always enjoy the tayston idea that taylor's talking abt in the past having it floated by a therapist/s or whomever that they could be autistic, them considering it but it not applying; winston going "hmm" & doing his own considering & researching & then maybe exclusively sharing the news w/taylor....but of course, maybe he's figured it out himself at some point before. i do think he'd figure it out himself though rather than anyone else directly suggesting it (maybe out here being diagnosed with "just the guy who sucks who we don't like / won't act right or normal" sort of usual experience) & i think, if he knows, he's not about to want ppl at work to know, b/c not as though anyone (but taylor & other quants) particularly seems to be impressed by his quanting proficiency, but he sure gets some validation/affirmation through that route (more re: that of course) and knows that ppl going "oh he's autistic so of course he's better at Doing Math / computer stuff as a like, mechanical efficiency sort of thing" or whatever. and the fact that taylor can interact with him / gives him some leeway to generally do his thing means he's kind of already got space to operate how he operates, see the start of this section....and idk. transitioning into the next section ig
just an Interpretation Of Canon thing here but, re: how these characters generally operate & what their reason is for being around doing stuff in the first place, i guess it's that winston does genuinely like to do & is interested in the math/coding stuff involved here, was also genuinely interested in working for taylor specifically (whatever The Hype specifically was), then you have taylor having the "despite your demeanor, your skills are superior" stance & appreciating what he can do & letting him do it by hiring him for real & all, & here we are, Q is for Quantitative, baby......he must find it rewarding enough to be getting to do this quanting stuff and also, the potential for validation when anyone recognizes he's good at it & by extension finds something about him good & wants him around to any degree
okay just that Episode By Episode stuff for a section here
3x03:
kinda extra room for interpretation b/c this was written as a one off character and reintroducing him in 3x09, written to be recurring, feels like it kinda offers a Soft Reboot for what we got here, where i guess how i take things is that we can suppose in both 3x03 & 3x09 winston's putting on a deliberate Performance to some degree based on what he thinks the potential employer wants to see, but it's also not completely fake / inaccurate either time, & like, maybe the 3x03 vibe wasn't a type of performance he'd only just ever put on for this axe cap interview, & even if it was deliberately bold maybe he was sort of thinking he Could bank on his value as a quant meaning he holds most of the cards (or can get away with acting like it)
building on that & as a More General point of interpretation again: think it's easy to suppose winston could've had an existence w/many elements of frustrations & disappointments & Rejection, but where like, he did figure out these areas of interest & proficiency that seemed to be a more positive force in his life, & leaned into them / focused on them further for it, & i could see him focusing on milestones / graduating from one thing to the next & conceptualizing like, well, if i just get to This point by working on This thing then i'll have it together & be able to move through existence more successfully, like, there's winston going into undergrad & kind of disappointed he's not having that good a time socially / feels like he's missing out / being left out still, but he can be like, well that's fine (: i'm totally fine abt it b/c i'm focusing on the Education & Experience here & when i'm entering the job market as an amazing quant anyone would want to hire then ppl will be seeing me in a positive light & things will fall into place / go great for me / i'll feel like i fit in & am doing things right within some structure. & i think maybe he Did have all those other job offers / opportunities & he was at least partly feeling a bit "objectively" confident, & also maybe just hoping he Could be that confident & that, you know, if he goes ahead & acts like that's the case, it could be confirmed / become true....anyways then obviously disillusionment time
since his outfits are introduced here: more "just how i'm interpreting canon" stuff in that i do just suppose he is mostly focusing on comfort & it'd kinda get in the way of things if he couldn't. flipflops might've been a statement piece but also i figure at least in part about the comfort / lack of much opportunity for restriction or ill fit or chafing texture or anything, same goes re: pants & shirts. interesting he likes to wear the patterned layers but doesn't really wear like, stripes or plaid ever. plus it could well be that Just A Tee is too informal unless you're the formalest of all by virtue of position, i.e. the ceo, but also we sure often enough see him wearing hoodies &/or multiple layers, like, maybe that's just for warmth or weight or what have you, always considering "what if it's about being self conchy as well (different way of saying self conscious)"
3x09:
so yeah with winston not having taken another job (at least maybe only like, temporary ones as these self contained gigs / just something to pay the bills) figure it's been a Depressive Period for him here lol & deliberately going on a journey of like self reflection / examination & going "haha yeah hated what i saw" is like, i don't think the self loathing is anything new, the confidence in 3x03 kind of an optimistic bandaid lol like well here's the new me as i understand / hypothesize / hope he could be, totally confident in being backed up by how valuable he is as a quant, then taylor kind of ripped that off and wound's open again but that wound was also not brand new or something he was unaware of / that didn't affect him before now
re: math meetup, i can see that being him presenting more evidence of his talent as a quant but also specifically going "see, i do this collaborative thing" to present this more conciliatory and cooperative approach to taylor, & am also taking it as evidence that he really does Enjoy math / coding stuff beyond it simply being a means to a professional end. i also like to think he has been / continues going to math meetup regularly, at least once a month, maybe every other week, and that it's this semi social event, like the relevant irl group you found back in the day that like, meets up for pizza before and drinks afterwards. i also like to think that, like, while he might come off as A Bit Much during said math meetup / just speak up frequently enough and often enough with some insistence lol, people Are there to meet up about the math and his contributions Are valued despite if his delivery/approach isn't always endearing or whatever. and even if he's not really popular / warmly embraced in the more [socializing event] bookends of the meetup, he's perfectly tolerated, and there's even a person or two or three (also regular attendees) who do vibe with him enough to like, invite / even want him to sit with them / talk with them outside that Math Setting. math meetup pals, maybe he doesn't meet up with these people outside these events but maybe they have each other's contacts and sometimes text. not these intimate personal relationships, but still something real and positive and refreshing. it'd be nice if math meetup could kinda be like what he hoped for from quanting, this way his math lets him "qualify" to access this group / activity, his aptitude "making up for" perceived lack of interpersonal / social charm & charisma & what have you, & having some reliably friendly people around even if of course that's not on its own going to mean he's totally socially fulfilled / not often lonely or anything. hc: he's often lonely & not totally socially fulfilled
he does, of course, want to work for taylor specifically, as long as they want him to, and this is sort of his second chance to find validation through working as a quant lol. think that yeah sure winston likes validation in general, who doesn't but also of course he's maybe a bit Above Average sensitive to / keen on it, but he'll also care about Affirmation if it's coming from people whose opinion he particularly values. think that it's easy to suppose he's also especially sensitive to taylor's assessments here thanks to the fact they really hit a (raw) nerve with him like, sure is the potential to get caught up in feedback loop city & say, have a few months mired in self loathing & an especial lack of certainty & confidence, if someone's kinda gone "i hate your self hatred" lol, but he also Did have this especial interest in / high opinion of taylor before that 3x03 interview, & so that's what continues to be part of it here
but then also interpreting that second 3x09 scene as like, he Does independently Know His Value as a quant and yknow not only has his pride but also can't and isn't going to first and foremost focus on trying to socially perform being peak Accommodating and Appealing here lol. but he still cares about what taylor thinks, wants to work for/with them, and i think it was Mutually Appreciated in the last scene that there was Mutual Effort to cooperate w/the other, giving him a Cue instead of just being mad & obfuscating it unless & until giving up on him completely or w/e is Constructive. interpreting winston as someone who sure can be a bit petty on purpose, especially in the face of some wounded pride (where he seems to take pride in his quant abilities & maybe not much of anything else: see the self loathing otherwise), but isn't really one to be deliberately antagonistic, especially not towards, yknow, the person he specifically wants to appeal to, but he also knows he can come off as grating whether inadvertently or not, so he might be testing the waters a little as well
3x11
he's using headphones even though no one else is in the room, that's a preference / he may also just like to block out other sound in general, as there's no audio of [winston's music faintly playing as / before he takes off his headphones] or indication he paused anything. does he like metal, what with the yngwie malmsteen reference? maybe, but that might just be a Billions Reference thing that isn't meant to indicate much / anything abt the specific character. i don't have any hcs about it anyways besides "okay" if so
first time we see his watch, it's not the calculator watch until s5 but i am a fan of said calc watch....gotta suppose it could represent him being here for the math of it all, what with how fancy/expensive watches are kinda the whole like status / power play thing, and a calculator watch is, afaik, not expensive, these casio calculator watch listings i'm seeing are all priced like, $15 to $25 range. so.
2nd scene is the first time we see sleeves pushed up, a frequent choice, maybe if he's focusing sleeves against forearms / Wrists & Hands can be bothersome. also not the first time he puts his hands in his pockets but i think that's a deliberate choice for winston's sort of Default Pose, equate it to the choice to have jared hang / hold on to his backpack straps.
guess he can also be a bit petty / rude / grating on purpose if ppl are getting in the way of his mathing / coding or otherwise thwarting it, at least probably taylor can relate / sympathize what with them wanting to Get It Right / being bothered if people get it wrong but could've avoided this
noticing all the caffeine and the fact he maybe didn't leave the basement / was powering through that project All At Once....just noting that down as a potential Approach, wanting to not interrupt focus &/or bear down & keep a fairly intense pace until it's finished / stay in the zone or what have you
definitely doing some deliberately cocky Testing / pushing back / amicable power struggle with taylor there, confirming he does have leverage due to that quanting ability after all, Despite His Demeanor / not being "sweet"
by this point definitely consciously kinda wants taylor to rail him.
4x03
i have no concrete hc's of instances inspiring winston to think he's "always seeing the future" but god i wish he did. he's right a lot though, maybe he just notices as much lol
talking mostly to taylor here, then concluding with "i only thought it but didn't say it; doesn't count....damnit." like he wants Their validation thanks, even if recognizing his Win here still wouldn't help them either way....also first time we see him w/coworkers for real, he's really freely Interacting.....time to go ahead and say he'd like to be work friends / at least have friendly interactions at work, might be a bit desperate for such positive social interactions, especially in this environment where he thinks the "objectively" good thing about him is most relevant, but it's cringe & fail (&/or vulnerable to Attack) to outright Want something, like validation / affirmation / a positive response or a simple "yeah you're right" "positive" response
first Space Shirt, followed by ones that are like, also &/Or Sci Fi Shirts. does he like space? i guess so
he's autistic
4x08
here & in 4x11, we don't know how he's gotten this info about taylor re: the arc w/their dad or with axe cap, but he's apparently mused on it on his own like this & isn't just quoting what someone else told him about how taylor must feel about xyz & how that might apply to the situations at hand, even though (unless he cassandra'd it) he wouldn't've had that much cause to suppose it'd definitely be relevant to have ideas about how taylor feels / is navigating a situation & why, maybe he just likes to be prepared like that / stay in the loop but yknow, maybe he's just also interested in them as a person beyond what's most immediately relevant to him doing quant stuff for them
he's already done the sort of kicking himself / wincing / apologizing or agreeing he fucked up an exchange thing before but, the genuine disappointment / momentary discouragement in it always lol....self loathing guy
love how he has these little like, clarifying explanations of things. "total control of the instrument," "always seeing the future," "because i win".....he's out here wanting to communicate to connect & to be understood, not so much as a potential for a power play / status climb and thus a conflict.....can see ppl who are used to / Do see interactions in that light to interpret winston yelling about having won as a like, rubbing it in people's faces show of superiority thing, but pretty sure he's just excited and wants a high five
4x11
having talked about the fact none of the desks in the tmc hq main floor seem to be winston's (& knowing that Could just be wroland not being reliably available to be in the bg of shots lol, analyzing s4 shots for some Consistently Empty desk) but it is fun to also consider that maybe tmc Could've had a secret extension in that that quant haunt in the basement was kept. a little more furnishing and it could be pretty chill, even though the lack of windows might not always be ideal. where's he sit!
also the whole "guy who'd be the first one smothered" moment like, guess i could've mentioned it in 3x03 more but yeah my Headcanon here is that winston maybe has a master's degree, not a phd though (him saying "50 phds" in 3x11 i think was meant to differentiate from him on both points, aka he's 1 guy, without a phd) & this is his first "real" job in any field. b/c i'm guessing like, people are here to get Paid, but as mentioned w/the watch (& just how winston acts in general, he doesn't really seem like he's raring to show off / really take advantage of having money or anything) it doesn't seem like he's, like, the "exceptionally focusing on personally making as much as possible" guy, and lauren's remark seems to emphasize / place the context on winston just not having like, savings from prior salaried years at a job or anything, more of a practical matter, maybe he's out here hoping for some more financial security, also they are all living in nyc, so. on that note, maybe he has an okay apartment but like, not without problems / not absolutely ideal, but it's okay. this would just be Convenient as an hc also lol
don't think the monologue was completely memorized, but it wasn't completely off the cuff either, he'd maybe been brainstorming scripts in his head / had some particular parts solidified word for word, but also hardly think he was guaranteed planning to deliver an admonishlogue at all, seems like it was some important factors that he was just kind of already irritated, nobody was listening / people Were social pressuring him to drop it or not interested in entertaining like "yeah i think you should talk to taylor about it" at all, think it was clear that talking to others was only going to lead to them telling him to drop it / trying to not have anyone say anything to taylor, and then that taylor just jumped in, which i hardly think he was hoping for
always Something that we can expressly see winston moving to sit down in that soon to be empty meeting room as everyone else is clearly filing out lol, like, can see how he might not be able to go "well, back to work" immediately and need some irritation / feeling like shit / guess who just got yeeellllllllllled aaaaaat to burn off, might need some time to absorb "well i guess i just deferred so no bonus as was probably expected," but can also suppose that maybe when winston gets majorly Shut Down he has shutdowns. saying all of four words in the wake of things, otherwise the fact he has this approach of tensing up, not talking at all, kind of just holding onto eye contact as his last way of "properly" participating in the exchange w/o bailing entirely, while also outwardly withering, like clearly these kinds of moments are pretty significantly affecting....feels like he could find it difficult to talk much, or at all, in the wake of some / need some time to recuperate a bit & have some distance & quiet & not just jump back into work like he's having a fine and normal time. sometimes pondering like, not only those notions like taylor insisting winston not be Interrupted when he hasn't technically started talking yet (giving him the buffering / latency time) but also like, fun kinda imagining them sitting across from each other having a texting conversation....or times winston would rather have an exchange via email......or make use of the sticky notes......or just have taylor talking to him and picking up on his nonverbal responses
winston's very Not present in tmc meetups / get togethers this season & again we know that this could be because his actor wasn't very available but it's still the case In Canon that there's only so many tmcers and they're all seeing each other outside work / market hours for varyingly formal or informal purposes & he's never included. & simultaneously hold the hc's that he could be choosing not to go or he could just never be invited in the first place l o l.....in either of these situations the reason for declining to go or being excluded could be up to "b/c other ppl don't like having him around" and idk, best case scenario is he doesn't want to go for some other reason, but he acts pretty okay with the All Hands meetups we do see / when in meetings with the other named employees he's pretty raring to interact with them, so :/
4x12
i do like to think it's fun to imagine What If Taylor Had A Phonecall With Winston Before This Monologue; someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure, i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.....just them both having a more sympathetic approach with each other and a sort of dialed back reconciliation, tbt 3x09, without an audience / roomful of other people
do think that his wearing a tmc logo tee into axe cap hq was a deliberate Statement Piece, like wearing flipflops into axe cap in his true first time being there lol
first time we see the backpack, & the headphones (in this season), like the point you (nothingunrealistic) made about the backpack possibly kind of exerting pressure / compression in a Sensory Way. let's see it again
as good a time as any to bring up how it's such a consistent pattern that it Must be a choice that winston smiles in this direction :/ and grimaces / winces / frowns this way :\ but a choice of the actor of course, was it ever a conscious thing on winston's end, would not put it beyond the realm of possibility he's ever consciously thought of stuff like "even if words fail me(tm) i Gotta hang on to eye contact".....i'm thinking of times he is smiling hard enough that you just gotta do it more symmetrically, like here in 4x12
5x01
he likes bagels
think that this could've been another case of "people who are used to interactions used for conflict / power plays / stepping on other people to status climb (axe cappers in general, maybe team ben having to be extra prone to be on the lookout for these strategies when they're more often on the receiving end of them) misinterpreting winston socializing as means of connection (wanting to talk about the common work thread / interest with coworkers)"
even if for some reason quants were cold shouldering axe cappers like, a sound strategy even if team ben are worthy exceptions. Winston Can Get Petty When People Blame Quants Talking About Being Quants For Axe Cappers Harassing Tmc & also when in the process of doing so everyone's like "also you're smarter than us but no you're not, any math quants could do fundamental analysts could do better" like, winston getting more deliberately antagonistic when ppl are going after his Math Aptitude / value as a quant when that's his "objective" point of pride & confidence & possibly like haha self loathing can't get me here
5x02
winston's decimal points being more precise here i think indicates that the show is not taking the stance of "yeah the quants are just any old analysts with an attitude of superiority" lol
do think he selected that particular seating placement b/c it's like, hey furthest away from axe cap, most aligned with taylor's desk & angled towards it, perfect.....what a letdown
guess this episode suggests he and mafee have chats sometimes, and winston maybe confides At All Sensitive Info w/the guy? bold
always just smh like well thank god we were given this subplot where winston was a plot device really for dollar bill's arc or whatever............what a gift
5x03
just noticing as always how winston is the one person saying they should go for it vs the other two's skepticism / trepidation, and taylor decides to go for it.....they do value his input / trust his judgment
i am also noticing how often winston, as the math guy who doesn't really fit in w/ the whole axe / caply approach & style, has this role in giving taylor these crucial opportunities to pursue their own direction rather than be mired down in the misery of axe cap determining everything....3x11 & his algorithm letting them break completely away from axe cap, 4x11 & his admonishlogue making some Points & then next episode taylor does decide to abandon the revenge jag & says they were wrong & they're sorry....5x03 & this nlp strategy plotline being the first thing taylor could actively pursue for tmc after 2 eps of being dragged painfully through axe cap nonsense, & the fact this, in the next episode, leads to the Impact Fund idea / mase carb
5x04
see that last point
5x05
guess that until confirmed, The Glances being significant is a Headcanon Interpretation lol. anyways i do like taylor giving him these discreet, nonverbal cues as a very deliberate method of communication titrated betwixt them
oh right and an Age Cue here, before that was nailed down i think i already hc'd winston as either the same age as, or a year older than taylor, and that's still true lol, think that's how it goes with the timelines (taylor's being kinda uncertain, and winston's as well, having prior just kinda gone "well if taylor's 22 when they show up as the typical post undergrad age, and each season spans approx a year, and maybe winston spent just a year or two post undergrad getting a master's b/c nothing nails down how long it would take & he could've kinda been ahead of the curve as it were, he could be, say, 23 thru 25 in s3 when he shows up, to taylor's Maybe 23" as the Idea)
just wants to work for taylor as long as they'll have him, but would also like to be openly valued / affirmed on a pretty basic level lol...
one of those matters that's like, i do think that this is what the material is Trying to convey but it's not concrete / explicit, in that i think winston somewhat Likes rian right off lol like. i mean he's also still annoyed on principle, this is maybe his replacement & that stings that it's even a possibility & of course he has reason to want to feel like "oh well this person Clearly sucks" lol, but then there he is trying to scope out the situation & get immediate intel & it's like, here's this fellow 20something you immediately think is pretty (the mental comparison to an A lister as a dunk, lmao) & you see her being perfectly friendly with your nice coworker you're also friendly enough with, that's one degree of separation, now here he comes talking about how cool & epic & smart & capable she is, again makes sense he's still first & foremost bothered by the situation & has cause to just be more jealous about how well everyone immediately thinks of her (see: winston making bad first impressions that may never be undone, the fact other coworkers were probably never going around openly impressed with / praising him after meeting him for 5 sec, or like, ever) but i suppose this immediate underlying sense of attraction / affinity hits in that First Sighting as well
love that we see the feet up on the desk show of confidence again, very funny & glad it's back.....a tool in his arsenal for when he's Very Bothered But (unsuccessfully) Acting Very Unbothered / when he's trying to pitch for his employment lol
when did he have a first gf? perfect time for an hc.....feels like it'd have been like, idk, older high schoolers at the youngest, that kind of emotional commentary....or in college. sometimes pondering the idea like, what if he had a bf first actually.....or not, & Feeling A Way around other guys sometimes like, hmm guess i think this guy is pretty cool &/or i'm kinda like "god i wish that were me" about, then some more noticeable Tension as he's older even if he can't really discern the reason b/c this person's pretty nice & cool actually, hmm. then one day you're doing hw together with a while for code to compile & Oh Hey Lol
meanwhile think clearly rian defuses the Reason For Rivalry (and also clearly immediately likes him / interacting with him & you know, outright sticks up for him & in this significant way) & then when they connect over Math it's all coming together very outright like Oh Hey Lol 😳
also he Gets Right Back To Work easily enough, & like, i think already there's a deliberate performance of "i'm now totally unbothered," but he's just pretty good at shaking things off apparently. & he kind of has to be, to not bail completely or else tamp down his own personality / avoid interactions, but you know. plus that like, he may get irritated when his pride's wounded but around here people can have a whole crisis & arc about it if their egos are bruised in the slightest, so like. pretty blasé
5x06
this isn't really any hc or Interpretation by any stretch but this is the first time we've seen winston pull that particular attitude in that second scene with rian and it's beautiful.....if something's bothering him he's so often like outright indignant but this is like, i'm Bothered but i'm being so dignant about it, for like 4 sec
also the bright green hoodie / bright, high contrast, geometric blockbuster tee is so Vivid but like, always noting how he wears relatively colorful outfits. fun to go "maybe this one's deliberately extra eye catching b/c of this new crush" lol
5x07
the difficulty in reading that much into things when the lack of sobriety could be making any & everything an outlier, & can't even really read into "apparently down to take stimulants (beyond caffeine) on a dime" b/c well, so is everyone else, so that this situation can unfold, we knew he had a crush on rian (or i guess we didn't, but this is pretty direct about it), we knew he likes validation, taylor Knows him well enough that it's not just like "oh he's acting weird? well that's winston for you" to them, which we also knew but it's fun to confirm further lol
and now for some more free floating / general concepts
family? i have no idea. feel like he either has no siblings or several but yknow, anything's possible. we know what he's like Now, don't think he got that solid self esteem / self confidence as an emergent quality from [everything that happened to him before 3x03] & don't suppose he has this like, rock solid close warm familial relationship of understanding & unconditional love & support w/whoever he grew up with, parents or siblings or whoever he lived with....like, the relationship/s could be Fine but you know, still not all that close
i don't think he was every completely friendless (or if he was, it didn't last Too long) in terms of like, throughout school maybe he had some pals, no amazing close [fingers crossed Like That] ones where someone had like, grown up as his next door bestie and they did everything together & knew everything about each other, nothing all that close, but he had people to sit with at lunch or what have you, even if at times like, the table nobody else really sits at but the people who don't have anywhere else to sit lmao. maybe some slightly closer friendships here & there, but people often kind of got subsumed into other friend groups that he wasn't otherwise a part of / otherwise just kind of gradually distanced again...but also possible he had perfectly amicable occasions of like, maybe only having a class or two with certain people, not striking up intimate friendships but hitting it off well enough.........like, winston's out here Not having been stomped down into suppressing his personality all the time, he's still fairly earnest & forthcoming & eager to connect, just sort of vaguely going for "he maybe have always had this element of discouragement & disappointment re: socializing / connecting / forming relationships / sometimes just being accepted on a basic level, but he also didn't have his spirit totally extinguished either" although there's also the room for stuff like, yknow, him Holding Out Hope like "well nobody likes me now / i'm unhappy but maybe once i'm in college [gets to college & still isn't having a great time] okay well once i Enter The Workforce" lol. you know
but it's also like, hardly think he's Only Just Now experiencing the [winston: ___ everyone: get his ass] type stuff & pushback & punishment & disdain over not really doing anything but people hate his style & vibe, & feel like there's also still room for like, yep wow got burned sometimes / having had some pretty negative experiences......we do have to end up in this place where, you know, 3x03 happens and he doesn't just go "guess finance isn't for me!" & dust himself off & go get some Guarantees from some tech firms, & instead he's Really Glad [Taylor] Called & hasn't taken some other more desired job between 3x03 & that call & is immediately like "good news: i do hate myself" so like, can't see him having just thrived his way to this point....evidently not all dating relationships have been just epic highs & victories, maybe he has those math meetup pals now & maybe idk there's other people he's in sort of in contact with, maybe people from college / grad school or the like, still not that close, figure he's generally been lonely like, overall, despite regularly enough seeking out / striving for connections
oh yeah speaking of, the idea that he has a cat maybe lol, in part simply for company, a little guy that lives in your house / apartment....but also maybe he doesn't
always just some general notions like, also idk maybe he engages in hobbies, talks to people through that just like with math meetup....talked about the Embroidery idea, got that computers/programming connection, was thinking like, idk fuck it amateur photography, develop your own film, maybe he took a class in college or high school or something, same with like, maybe he plays a musical instrument, said "the cello, why not" about that as an early [shrug] idea lol. he does like space, maybe he does Anything with that....rip to any astronomy clubs In Nyc like, guess you're not seeing shit, but. 4x11 au, after deferring his bonus he goes to some cool cinematographic celestial occasion like taylor & the sea glass fish carousel lmao. taylor catches up & they have their [i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart] exchange lol.....except also not, b/c you wouldn't really want to have Parallels with m/any moments ft. wendy & taylor :/
recalled like a particularly casual / throwaway idea about like "lol what if he was somewhat thalassophobic" in part b/c once actor william dropped that lore abt himself in an interview, but. could have somewhat some other phobia/s. or not really any! what a world
maybe sometimes he's out here like, single & ready to Fuck like, focusing on just hooking up w/people sometimes rather than really looking to date at the juncture, although it could both be true like, he'd Like to be dating but also doesn't really currently want to do all the Putting Himself Out There & such of seeking it out / trying to consciously navigate it, but sometimes it's more manageable like, just wanting to have sex. looking out for himself when he can & how he can lol
speaking of, some vague sexy hcs
gets pegged
especial fan of Tongue Against Tongue texture, enjoys some Grounding elements to avoid being overwhelmed / narrow things to the more relevant sensory input at hand, like the weight/pressure of a partner leaning / lying against him / holding him tightly, if he's overwhelmed in a good way / kinda got some sensory overflow in a good way he might cry during sex In A Good Way lol, took some time maybe in his Personal Sexual Experience to figure out some general differences in "what he doesn't like at all" or "what's off the table / too unpleasant for him at some times but Not necessarily at all times & might be completely enjoyable sometimes," like, am i willing to perform oral sex, am i willing & Enthusiastically so, is that way too much actually, it can be all of them at varying times....maybe in more everyday general situations he refrains from stims in front of others unless stressed enough, but while having sex with someone especially if at all nervous it's like, there can be this transition between repressing stims & being more unfiltered / uninhibited where they kind of build up & then come through in kicks only to be reined back in, either like, he simply does go for a more reined in approach the whole time or anyone else is willing to ride this out with him / he kind of has the time & space to figure out more of a flow, in which case he might still stim but you know, not as though people aren't used to stims in this situation, i.e. reacting to stimulation with movement & vocalization is at least expected & it could once again be like "well he's a bit weird with it but hey" lol or you know, not that some partners can't be understanding or have had experience w/similar partners. hardly make or break but this can be a vulnerable interaction here / hard to shake the self consciousness & sense of "i Do have to filter myself and act The Right Way" all at once just b/c you'd want to
hey and let him sing karaoke or something lmao, winston is as Dramatic as he is, he would give a performance. work in a way to let everyone who sings sing around lol, could throw in some Affectations so that it's like yeah winston can sing without having to be like "wow winston, when'd you become a trained broadway performer" lmao. imagine. which reminds me of the time will joked about like, oh yeah winston Gets That A Lot re: people recognizing he looks like the guy in deh, aka will roland....the limitations of "this is set in real nyc" including occasional references to recent / popular shows, fuck it maybe will roland does also exist in the billions universe. well anyways it would be fun. the karaoke anyways, and that he'd give a top tier Performance whether or not people are first and foremost enjoying his technical / artistic skill at the art of singing, it'd at least be personality infused and engaging
taking it way back to the ideas about winston's social misadventures in general, i'm sometimes considering for fics i never end up writing if he might have some like, misgivings / anxieties about like, is this person i Like acting like they maybe Like me back as some kind of elaborate joke, & maybe the caution comes from experience like you know, classic over the line "pranks" like asked out As A Joke, kissed As A Dare that he wasn't aware of, think there could be like, would be Friendship / friendly acquaintanceship experiences in there where such "pranks" / "jokes" / "messing with him" (and not in a good way) could happen, or even just you know, more Spontaneously, don't even know this person & he's treated as a joke for other ppl's entertainment, realizing at the time or retrospectively like oh maybe i was more being bullied then having any positive social interaction / getting to feel at least "included" or what have you, like, the idea of getting to hang out with a group as The Funny Guy, but he's had these experiences getting to hang out with a group & realize it's b/c they thought he was funny / Amusing in a laughing At him, not with him way, which is easy also b/c winston isn't really out here trying to be funny that we've seen lol. only realizing he was still being excluded after some time / distance from the situation, or escalating open hostility / just more blatant meanness / over the line shit from some people, maybe some stuff that just immediately feels shitty but he figured was just like, well idk, maybe that's normal & still friendly, maybe it also felt more outright embarrassing / demeaning at the time but it's like haha yeah you got me :'] at the time just to save any face lol.....possible unexpected / spontaneous amicability in his socializing history, but also shittiness, whether it's coming at him all at once or he's kind of holding out hope like, well, i just keep at it / have a Friendly attitude here and surely i'll make friends b/c if people didn't like me At All why are they talking to me / letting me be here at all.....
always kind of pondering Fashion Variation, we haven't seen it but it could be possible, musing on "what would he think Looks Good On Him / how does he feel capable of like, dressing for romantic success or what have you lol" like, was the vivid 5x06 outfit anything, cue the drawing like, a bralette & short shorts is shaking it up and could be a Felt Cute outfit and could also be comfortable enough....not always That much room in men's(tm) fashion before you start having to be aware of [Gender] and dunno that winston out here has had the inspiration / motivation / opportunity to consider / try out / explore but hey. what are we here for
just remembered that post like "uhh i just saw a guy crying in the library & then his phone alarm went off & he stopped crying, opened his laptop & started typing / it's called time management" lmao like winston's not out here having the Most amazing time, he could have such Time Management experiences of like, letting it out some on purpose but then reining it right back in, and/or just like some spontaneous paroxysms of crying for a minute or two more unexpectedly in a "do you ever [experience a tiny inconvenience] & realize the thread by which you're hanging on is quite thin" way or otherwise, you know, oops experienced this frustration & now i'm crying over it, or idk, just feeling a bit more vulnerable for whatever reason & something has unexpectedly plucked some emotional string attached to another string attached to another & the resonance = i'm crying now ig. he can't be Thriving out here & i don't think he's all about having such a stranglehold on emotions that he's like oh tf i Never cry (aside from having sex, in a good way)
although speaking of like, emotional repression, maybe he's out here just "good at" compartmentalizing some experiences lol in that "well anyways, back to work" way & stuff like, sure he knew he was risking it in 4x11 but it also did not seem to affect his dynamic with mafee at all lmao like wow.....
think that him not really having anything on his work desk is a choice / preference but also am not sure that that really applies to anything else lmao. what if he had a little plant. that'd be funny
oh yeah and the idea that winston might literally have like prophetic dreams & they're just kind of a nuisance to him but sometimes they can be plot devices in fics (that don't exist) about him kissing people
well i'm just calling it a night there lol but like, it always feels Lacking writing out hc's like, plenty of ideas but also hardly any, and yet the fact that other individual ideas are so Vague / casual that it wouldn't be like "oh i gotta share this via post or manifesting it some other way" so then it feels like, oh no, if i don't list absolutely Everything on something that's specifically a list of hc's, i can never talk about whatever gets left out......and just that like, i ought to have a bunch of really specific, concrete, unique Factoids about winston here to be of any interest but hey lmao. that hypothetical set of concepts is never gonna happen, & the Ultimate Comprehensive List Of Everything I've Ever Pondered Re: Winston is also going to be difficult lmfao (not as though that's what you've asked in the first place) but you know, we took a swing at things here & covered some ground & the thinking about & talking about winston never ends, & this isn't really a post meant to have broad appeal / if you're not already having fun reading vague musings about the quant then i'm sorry you're reading this after having read all that and gone "wow, i'm disappointed" lmao but hey, weird choices made to bring you to this point......also god knows plenty of hcs are more filed away under specific like [Tayston], [Benston], [Riawin] sort of things (lol, [Mafon]) b/c on the one hand, i find it easier to kind of think in Scenarios and the details particular to the "scenes" therein, but i am also not good at thinking of those scenarios! out here operating on vibes, he's autistic and wants to kiss taylor (also now rian but that's kinda right in canon, not just my head) and that's really the crucial info here
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enthusiastic-nimrod · 5 years ago
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Hey I'm Fred's fourth daddy anon! I sent that to you, and what felt like five minutes later you came in with that gorgeous sketch. Do you have any art tips or videos that have taught you cause I've been stuck draw trying to draw anything not resembling a lump for two years. Also yeah it was whirlwind episode, f*ck Rose, and Fred should have turned that loon in.
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Hey FD Anon, thanks so much! I don’t draw a lot of “horror” art so I’m really happy with it’s progress so far!
While I do agree with you that Rose is The Worst, I think she added in an interesting dynamic and I’d be happy if she became a recurring character in the Scooby mythos at large. As for Fred not turning his dad in... I agree, but I also understand why he didn’t. 
The episode went out of it’s way to show off how frightening and weird he is but Fred made it very clear that when he wasn’t wearing the mask he was a good parent, and that all of his crimes were shown as nonviolent. He didn’t seem to steal anything (unless I missed that line?) he just liked messing with people by confusing them. 
As for art tips, I... honestly never expected anybody to ask for advice from me? That’s super flattering wow. 
Okay, so I’m still pretty much a novice, but lemme give you some of my best tips and tricks:
1) Notice how my last sketch had a grey background? This wasn’t just for that sketch, this is how I use ALL of my digital canvases. I do this because the grey causes less strain to my eyes, and allows me to work longer and more easily. Being so close to a screen, especially a blue or white one, can make it harder to work for long periods of time. 
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2) If you want to do digital art, you need to learn “traditional art” (pencil and paper) first. It makes transitioning to digital more easy and it’s pretty much what any art teacher would recommend, for good reason. 
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3) Using one method of art not only limits you, but stops you from learning other techniques which can be incorporated into what you typically prefer. Not only that, but you can also discover a medium you really love that you never would have thought of before!
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4) Whenever you get the chance, work in black and white or monochrome. This is a great way to help yourself learn about values and intensity, and just looks cool in general. 
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5) Piggybacking on that last point, if you’re ever worried about your shading, values, etc becoming muddled either A] take a picture and use a filter to make it black and white, or B] create another, pure white layer on top of the others and change it from “Normal” to “Hue”. Doing this can really help change your approach to coloring (black and white effect may be different for every art program). 
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6) If you want to get better at realistic faces, I was taught using the grid system. You have squares on your reference picture, squares on your paper, and then match up the body parts to the squares. I personally didn’t like this method, but it’s a really solid style of learning. 
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7)  Start with the torso instead of the head. what you start with the head, the body may end up becoming wonky and having the neck stretched out at an odd angle or having a too small cranium. This is easier to fix in digital art but I suggest just remembering the importance of that rib cage (this is something I’m still training myself out of). 
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8) Asking for feedback can be an invaluable tool. For example, last year I had this really weird thing where I drew my eyes way too close together- I never noticed until I had it pointed out to me, and it took MONTHS to break this habit.
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9) References are very useful, and one fun technique I’ve found great use in is to draw a pose, first with no reference, and then following that reference very strictly. This can be helpful when you want to see where you are developmentally. 
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10) Every now and then while drawing, you want to put the pencil down, prop up your paper, and walk away so that you can see the full image from a distance. If you’re working digitally, you zoom out a great deal so that the image appears smaller. This is a GREAT tool for seeing which sections of the piece need the most attention and how those smaller details hold up. 
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11) If you have the opportunity, you REALLY want to participate in an actual art class. Having a teacher that can see what you’re doing in real time and knows where you’re at skill-wise is an INVALUABLE thing to have- these people were specifically taught how to teach you these skills, recognize your problems and how to fix them. Don’t be afraid to talk to them and ask for advice about non-classwork art, either! You can’t receive help if you don’t ask for it. 
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12) Flip your canvas! I know you’ve probably heard this before, but this is one of the best ways to check for anatomy inconsistencies.
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13)  When it comes to youtube artists, I don’t really actively follow any, but I do know of some! 
Mark Crilley: While I don’t watch his videos much now, I used to follow his videos RELIGIOUSLY. He’s got some really solid advice on how to map out comics and mangas, and he taught me the importance of silent scenes and keeping your work from getting too wordy. He mostly does the soft anime look, but he also does some pretty stellar realism. 
mikeymegamega: I’m not going to lie to you, anon- this man likes his cheesecake. This guy is all about the cute anime girls, so if you’re not looking for that, skip him, but I really can’t recommend his videos on hands, feet, and faces enough. 
Proko: Has a video about best drawing exorcises and is the guy you turn to when you want to know about figure drawing. He tends to focus on the more realistic anatomy, and while his videos may be long he’s got some good advice. I’d say to check out his studying anatomy correctly video, and then just kinda scroll through his pages. 
Ethan Becker: THE KNIFE MAN. The first time I clicked on him I thought he was making a troll video- but then he Got Into It and my dudes, my guys, he has some CRAZY good advice. The way he words things and shows you examples in his videos are amazing and I really can’t recommend him enough. He did a video called “Fixing PROKO's LAZY Drawings“ and while you’d think it would be a  bash fest his advice on shading in it is just so incredibly useful. Click on pretty much any of his videos and you’ll be entertained and learning. 
I'd also suggest watching speedpaints. Even if it was unintentional, I’ve learned several really solid art hacks from speedpaint and storytime videos- so always be aware that you have an option for that. 
…. Oh! And also, practice! I know you’ve probably been given this advice from everyone already, but it’s worth remembering. 
Sorry if this got a bit long, I just figured I’d try to give you some good hacks- and even if you have already heard of most of these, I hope I could at the very least entertain!
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osleyakomwonkru · 4 years ago
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Retrospective: The 100's Top 5 Female Characters
Now that the show is over, this can be a definitive list: Not just “how it feels after these seasons”, not just a “this is where they are now”. This is my Official List of my favourite female characters (more lists to come in the future!).
So let’s get started shall we?
5. Emori kom Spacekru (Luisa D’Oliveira)
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How incredible has Emori’s storyline been? It is a fairly linear one, just like Murphy’s - which is why she’ll never steal the top spot on this list - but her storyline from self-serving outcast to literal fake god and protector of the innocent has been a joy to see play out. And while officially she’s been recurring cast and thus not of the same prominence as Murphy - she’s been the one driving this storyline of belonging, not him. She is the one who found a family in Spacekru, she’s the one who learned a new trade, she’s the one who embraced not just the perks but the responsibilities of being a Prime. Luisa has been a delight to watch in this role.
4. Echo kom Earthkru (Tasya Teles)
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Next up is our other Grounder who found a family in space - and then proceeded to enlarge that family with every move she made such that by the end of the show, she’s the one who links them all together. I’ve always loved Echo, yes, even when she stabbed Octavia, because she didn’t mean to and she was just such an incredible antagonist, who also shifted seamlessly into being a protagonist because it just made sense - despite her tough exterior, she was also just looking for a place to belong, just like anyone else. Tasya was seamlessly able to shift between Echo’s different roles, and it was all just beautiful.
3. Hope Diyoza (Shelby Flannery)
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Who could not love this chaotic reckless awkward ball of energy? Hope was such a gift this season. It annoys me that I’ve seen a lot of people (especially on Facebook) talking about how Hope is “awkward” and that this is “bad acting” and they seem to entirely miss that Hope is supposed to be awkward. While I do absolutely adore Marie, she played Octavia a bit too well-adjusted socially than she should have been in season 1. Hope is exactly what you’d expect of a 25-year old woman who has spent the vast majority of those 25 years with no more than three people at a time, perhaps biologically an adult but emotionally still that 10-year old girl who lost her family in an instant. Shelby was bloody brilliant and I can’t wait to see her next work.
2. Charmaine Diyoza (Ivana Milicevic)
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The moment Ivana first graced my screen was… a long time ago. But I did know and recognize and appreciate her before she landed on The 100. I have a special appreciation for North American-raised Eastern European actresses (it’s like I relate to them or something, what a shocker), and while that’s not what made me appreciate Diyoza, it certainly didn’t hurt. Diyoza firmly became my second favourite character this season, because she’s just so good. Not always morally, sure, but she’s fiercely protective and loving and that’s what makes her good. I will always love her for being Octavia’s best and longest friend, her family, and UGH I just want to go back to Skyring with the two of them and Hope. I know we can’t, but… well, we do in my fic. So read my fanfic if you want more Skyring.
1. Octavia Blake (Marie Avgeropoulos)
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This never changes. Obviously. This blog is a love letter to her, so how much more do I need to write in this post? I can just reiterate what I wrote before the season started in this post --> (remember how I totally called transcendence before the season even started?). Octavia’s gone through such incredible growth as a character, and that has also been a testament to Marie’s growth as an actress, because she has also matured so much to add so many layers to Octavia that with a lesser actress would fall completely flat.
I will always adore Octavia, I will continue writing about her here, and in all of my fanfiction over on AO3 (same username, OsleyaKomWonkru). Octavia is and will remain my brand, because there are always more amazing things that I will find to say about her.
Honourable Mentions: Niylah (Niytavia is my OTP and I will continue to write fic about them, but sorry, but I didn’t vibe with season 7 comic relief Niylah AT ALL), Josephine Lightbourne (what a DELIGHT as a villain) and Luna kom Floukru (you inspired so many).
Next up: Top 5 Male Characters.
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thekillerssluts · 4 years ago
Audio
THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE OF WILL BUTLER
It’s been nearly four centuries since the first member of the Butler family arrived in the United States. From Quakerism and Mormonism to getting thrown in jail, the Butler family history is a fascinating story which bears one constant, one recurring theme on which the Butler’s always touch base: music. On new solo album Generations, Will Butler (Arcade Fire) expands his horizons while delving into his own legacy and asking questions about his place in society as an American. Jack Parker called up Butler to discuss his namesake’s glistening legacy, the new album and societal parallels between 2020 and 1820.
Hi Will. Generations is your second studio album, and it comes five years after your debut, Policy. Was it always a long term plan, in your mind, to put out a second album? Yeah. I was always going to do a second record, but my wife and I have an eight year old and two twins. Not to blame the twins, but I would have made a second record earlier, haha. There was also the last Arcade Fire record, and I went to grad school. It’s been busy.
You described this album as more of a novel. Would you call it a concept album? I don’t think of it as a concept album, but any listener or critic is welcome to interpret in whichever way they like. There is a sonic arc to the album, and although it’s not exactly character development there is some sort of development throughout the record. I feel like it takes on a journey.
The stories on some tracks are definitely vivid in places. What informed your songwriting on some of these songs? Fine tells a very poignant story. Some of the songs on the album have a big focus on 19th century American poets like Emily Dickinson or Erwin Melville. Melville isn’t famous for his poetry, but he has some good poems about the Civil War. I was reading a lot of history, and a lot of the themes are essentially just trying to absorb what the fuck has been happening the last 200 years.
And of course everything that’s been happening the last six months. Do you notice many similarities between the last half year versus the last 200 years? Yeah. We had Ferguson and Baltimore, and people are protesting now too. People are rioting! But this isn’t an outlier in American history; the police keep brutalising people and those being brutalised keep saying that enough is enough. It happens every few years, so it’s a very consistent part of history. It’s shocking that people even need to come out and say that black lives matter. That is an outlier, the fact that we have to highlight that killing black people is a bad thing. It’s never exactly the same throughout history, but it’s certainly familiar in a dark way. The pandemic…eugh. There aren’t many global pandemics which I’ve experienced in my lifetime, but it’s certainly not what I expected.
The sonic palette of Generations is much broader. There seems to be more emphasis on exploring different sounds and styles; was this a conscious decision or something that just came naturally? I wanted Generations to be a more complex and complicated album with more development. My brain is so broken that I think about food a lot; Policy was more a case of making dinner with whatever you can find in the fresh section at the supermarket. Generations is more purposeful, it’s layering the flavours, roasting the meat for 48 hours and stewing the bones. There’s more foraging.
I guess solo projects like this one also allow you to explore territory you wouldn’t go for as quickly with Arcade Fire. Yeah. I mean, they’re still related projects in that I’m the same human being poking at the same stuff sonically and emotionally, but with this I can go further in certain directions. This album is still collaborative, but I can also do more.
You previously said that this record asks the question “what’s my place in American history?” Assuming you know that now: what is your place in American history, as a rich, white male? It’s a positional answer, to be honest. It’s how you are positioned in a community and how you relate to the people you live with. It’s hard to answer, because it’s also in conversation with New York City and Brooklyn. Like, how is New York going to move forward? On a broader level, though, it’s still provisional and conversational.
So has working on this record helped you discover aspects of yourself which you weren’t aware of? I’m real smart on a booksmart level, but working on this record made me realise how dumb you still are as a human, on a human level. Most of us are pretty dumb, and every now and then you encounter some amazing humans, but then you’re like, “wow, I’m real dumb and I’m lost without these people”.
I just want to touch on the album closer, Fine. What informed your songwriting and the story on that track in particular? It’s one of your best works to date. Thank you. So, the first Butler came to the US in the 1630s and settled into Boston before moving to Cape Cod and living on the water. They were one of the first families to convert to Quakerism. It’s in the history records because they kept getting fined for being Quakers. They’d get thrown into jail and cops would arrest Daniel Butler in the middle of the night for exposing little kids to Quakerism. The Butlers have lived in New England on a long stretch of coastline for the last 400 years. My Mum’s family is Mormon, and my great grandfather was the last son of a Mormon homesetter who crossed the plains. He was born in the 1870s and he was a musician. He started a family band with his kids and they would drive across the desert – before there were even roads – on wooden planks to play shows in churches and then get arrested for doing it. My life today is very beautifully influenced by what happened at the end of the 19th century. It’s so beautiful to inherit such a musical legacy, but there’s also such a horrifying legacy to being an American. Why I am how I am is informed by a lot of beauty and horror. It’s about trying to figure out where you stand before you throw your first punch. You have to square your hips. It’s not so much an exercise in guilt as it is in knowledge.
Fine is trying out the Kanye West trick of being really stupid and profound by talking about important and unimportant things are the same time. I was thinking about George Washington from 250 years ago, just thinking about his legacy and on a wider scale the legacies which we inherit. How those legacies came to us, and how the world was made. It’s trying to do that both in a jokey and a horrifying way. Look at Washington’s slaves, for example. He has one named Henry Washington who I’d never heard of until I was an adult. He escaped and with the British against the United States, and then lost. In order to avoid slavery he fled to Canada and then ended up in Sierra Leone, where he ended up fighting against the British. These are incredible histories which just go ignored. Fine is essentially about trying to figure out what line of history we’re following and how we follow it.
Now more than ever people are turning to the arts for empowerment. How can we use music in 2020 to harness positive change? Music has been a great comfort to people who are doing really intense work, and I’ve seen people really respond to artists who say something meaningful. Art can really provide comfort, which I think is important. I get that there are other important angles, like how art isn’t always supposed to be comfortable, but over the years I’ve seen how much value music has for people who are trying to make the world a better place. As a musician you can’t control the people who feel comfort. You can’t tell someone horrible that they aren’t supposed to feel comforted by your music, but you can pray that your music is put in front of someone who will nourish it.
Of course. So with live music still out of the question, what’s next for you? I’m really excited for the record to come out! People have been finding meaning in comfort through music these last six months, and it kind of feels like you’re doing a service by putting music out into the world. I’ll probably do some kind of online thing, but it’s not really my speciality. I’ve got a week and a half to figure it out. My son started school today in New York, so figuring out online school for an eight year old is also a thing. And if it weren’t for the pandemic, I’d have gotten into my car and driven around Pennsylvania knocking on doors ahead of the election in November. 
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bookishdiplodocus · 5 years ago
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Writing humor
George of the Jungle: A case study
I’m analysing several forms of humor in the 1997 movie George of the Jungle, and I would like to share it with you. Remember, this is a family movie, the humor is not that finetuned and often targeted towards children. Even if a movie is not your style, you can learn from it. If you want to do your own analysis, I would advise you to pick a movie with a form of humor that’s relevant in your writing. (This seems obvious, but I personally enjoy more forms of humor than I can use in my writing style and genre.)
How do I go about it, analysing jokes?
George of the Jungle is a very joke-dense movie, it averages about 2 jokes per minute, often using different humor layers within the same joke. It’s a lot, considering it also introduces all the characters and set up the storyline in between the jokes!
Every time a joke is made, I write it down word for word and try to see why exactly it is funny. Try to be as specific as possible. This is the difficult part, obviously. I included some examples to make it clear for you. Often the answer is “Contrast” or “Subverting expectations”. Obviously not all the jokes are laugh out loud funny, and they don’t need to be. Some jokes just lighten up the scene without even making you smile, or without making casual watchers notice it is in fact humor.
Bonus points if you can tell certain forms of humor are tied to certain characters. (In this case: slapstick for George when he swings into a tree again, contrast between what is said and reality for mean guy Lyle etc.)
Some examples from the case study
But first, some warnings:
Obviously there will be spoilers for this movie in this post. It’s hard to show you how a joke works without giving you the joke.
Analysing jokes makes them less funny, in the same way that analysing plot lines or storytelling techniques can make books lose their glamour.
Alright, here we go. Because this will be a longish post, I’ll put the other examples under the Read More.
Example 1:
Lyle: “I am the richest, handsomest, smartest guy here, so I get to go first!”
[Established mean guy Lyle passes by everyone, almost shoving them out of the way. He promptly trips over a tree root and lands face first in a huge pile of steaming elephant dung.]
Lyle: [lifting his head up] “There’s an elephant around here.”
Carrier: [looking right into the camera] “Bad guy falls into poop. Classical element of physical comedy. Now comes the element where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?
Other carriers: [also looking right into the camera] “Ready!”
[They throw their heads back and laugh.]
[Nearby monkey also laughs and points at Lyle.]
[Off-screen, more animals start laughing at Lyle.]
Lyle: [Spits out some elephant poop] “Those are nowhere near properly digested.”
[Carriers still laughing off-screen]
Lyle: “In case anyone is wondering, I’m okay.”
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Technical analysis:
Lyle might be the richest, but definitely not the handsomest and smartest guy: contrast between what he says and reality. (As I told you, this is a recurring technique for him, perfect to show his personality.)
Lyle faceplanting into a pile of elephant dung: poop humor, slapstick (physical humor), the feeling that he gets what he deserves.
“There’s an elephant...”: stating the obvious. And, he says it in a deadpan kind of way.
“Bad guy falls into poop. Classical element of physical comedy”: breaking the fourth wall big time, looking right into the lens, refering to genre conventions, explaining the joke to us. Breaking the fourth wall is a meta humor in which the characters are aware of genre conventions of a fictional story (in this case, the presence of the camera/audience) and sometimes, like in this case, of the fact that they are characters in a fictional story.
“Now comes the element where we throw our heads back and laugh”: refering to a trope, genre conventions, while still breaking the fourth wall by looking straight in the camera.
Repetition: first the carriers announce what they will do in detail and right after they execute it exactly like that. It’s similar to the jokes where the narrator uses a certain phrase and right after a character uses exactly the same phrase. (See example no. 5.)
Monkeys and off-screen animals: hyperbole. Basicly, an exaggeration, in this case, built-up in steps: first his companions, then one non-human, then what seems to be the entire wilderness.
“Nowhere near properly digested”: dirty/poop humor (eww he had poop in his mouth), characterisation (Lyle is the kind of guy who will complain about everything), subversing our expectations (that’s not the first thing you and I would say when we face plant into a pile of poop).
“In case anyone is wondering”: By now, we know what kind of a man Lyle is. This, and the fact that the carriers are still laughing, implies that no-one is wondering if Lyle is okay. Again, contrast between reality and what he says
Example 2:
Narrator: “When they finally beheld the mighty Ape Mountain...” [They see a mountain shaped like a gorilla head] “...they reacted with awe.”
All: “Aww.”
Narrator: “I said “awe”! A-W-E.”
All: “Ooh!”
Narrator: “That’s better.”
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Technical analysis:
Ape Mountain is shaped like a gorilla head: visual humor, subverting expectations about geographical naming conventions, breaking the conventions of a fictional movie (the shape of the mountain is obviously a joke for the watchers, not for the sake of the inhabitants in this world, or a concidence), subverting the expectations of our geological knowledge (what are the odds of a mountain actually being shaped like a gorilla head? In the real world, we sometimes see animals or other figures in mountain shapes, but not as detailed as this.)
Aww / awe: It’s a play on words, because “awe” and “aww” sound the same.
The narrator interacts with the characters and the characters are aware of the nattaror: meta humor: breaking the fourth wall.
Example 3:
[Mean guy Lyle jumps on the rope bridge, making everybody swing dangerously. An indigenous carrier falls dramatically into the deep chasm.]
Narrator: “Don’t worry, nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos.”
Lyle: “You know, they shouldn’t let unexperienced carriers like that on these tracks.”
Technical analysis:
Meta humor: breaking the fourth wall: the narrator is aware of the genre conventions + he is aware of our presence.
“Big boo-boos”: Language, contrast between the children’s word and the tough men in the harsh wilderness.
Subverting expectations: when you fall into a deep chasm, you don’t expect to get away with just some boo-boos. A boo-boo is the kind of thing you fix with a band-aid and a kiss.
Lyle’s remark: he is the reason the carrier fell. Contrast between what happened and what Lyle says.
Bonus: characterisation. Remarks like these, and especially the contrast between what happened and how Lyle sees/portrays it, show how self-centered he is.
Example 4:
Lyle: [takes a polaroid picture of the carrier.] “Do you like it? Magic picture. Yet another gift from America. Here you go. You’re welcome.”
[Carrier answers something in Swahili, not translated.]
[All the native Africans laugh out loud.]
Carrier: “[Swahili] ... 35 mm.” [Takes a fancy camera out of his own backpack and takes a picture of Lyle.]
[All the native Africans laugh.]
Lyle: [not amused] “Translation, please.”
Guide: “He says he likes your magic pictures, but he prefers the resolution of the Leica 35 mm transparencies.” [Everybody except Lyle laughs.] “He also says your lens is dirty, but he has the equipment to clean it for you.” [More laughter.]
Technical analysis:
This joke consists of 3 parts.
The set-up: Lyle is the arrogant dck who’s come from America to show the indiginous people what cultural civilisation is. We think we know where this is going...
Subverting our expectations: The carrier is not impressed, he knows Polaroid and has a camera of his own. He’s Lyle’s equal, not subversive. The way the carrier takes a picture of Lyle is a mirrored action of Lyle taking a picture of him. The similarities between these actions accentuate the differences.
Further subverting our expectations: the carrier has a lot of knowledge (implied: more than Lyle), he’s probably culturally more civilised than Lyle, beating Lyle at his own game.
Bonus: He shows his superiority in a polite way, showing he’s a better man than Lyle.
Example 5:
Narrator: “Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set, Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.”
Ursula: “And here I am, lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.”
Technical analysis:
“At a very big and expensive waterfall set”: breaking the fourth wall, referencing the fact that this is a movie with a set and a budget.
“lost in the wilderness with a jungle man”: literal repetition immediately afterwards. If Ursula can hear the narrator, it’s like he’s telling her what to say (meta). If she can’t hear the narrator, the joke lies in the “coincidence” of her saying exactly the same words he used about her, moments before.
Example 6:
Narrator: “... the carriers came dangerously close...”
Narrator: “... that is, dangerously close to shove a coconut up in Lyle’s...”
Narrator: “... (pause) sleeping bag.”
Technical analysis:
Playing with expectations: The first sentence implies they are close to a dangerous situation. The second sentence implies they are so irritated with Lyle they want to shove a coconut where the sun doesn’t shine. The third sentence doesn’t take away the second implication, but just makes it more family friendly, but it’s still a turn on our expectations of how the sentence will/can end.
Young children will find the turn between the second and third sentence hilarious, especially the implied “dirty humor”.
Example 7:
[Love interest Ursula has taken George home to Los Angeles. Her best friend shows up and starts to question Ursula.]
Ursula: “He’s in the shower.”
Friend: [Distracted by something behind Ursula] “Not anymore...”
[George enters the living room, still all wet, obviously naked (barely SFW), and for the first time his sexiness is accentuated, ironic for a man who wore a loin cloth for most of the movie.]
George: “Bad waterfall. First, water get hot -” [A saxophone starts playing off-screen.] then George slip on this strange yellow rock.” [George shows a bar of soap and drops it.]
[The perspective changes, shows the 2 friends from between George’s legs. They are obviously checking out his naked crotch.]
[Ursula sighs happily.]
George: [sees Ursula’s friend now] “Hi! George of Jungle.”
Friend: [eager] “Charmed, I’m sure.”
[Ursula strategically hands George a large book to cover his crotch. The camera zooms out now and we see George also from below the waist, still wet and tan and muscular. The friend is staring.]
Friend: [mumbles to herself, appreciatively] “Now I see why they made him king of the jungle.”
Technical analysis:
First, this is a gender reversal of a trope commonly used on female characters. I saw it described as “Born sexy yesterday”. A (usually female) character is new to this life/society/body/... and doesn’t realise that being naked has a certain effect on the other gender. In the 1990s, this was very common to happen to female characters, and not common at all for male characters.
Friend, distracted: the friend has a dirty mind.
Bonus: characterisation: Friend serves here as a contrast for Ursula, who hasn’t objectified or ogled George at all. In fact, this is the first time George is shown as sexy, so we see his sexiness through the perspective of the friend. This tells us something about the friend, but also about Ursula: he likes George for who he is, not how (incredibly sexy) he looks.
The saxophone: the movie is playing with genre expectations (off-screen saxophone means sexy time) as a hyperbole. The movie makers are pulling out all the registers in this scene to show off George’s sexiness.
“this strange yellow rock”: word choice, mental distance from an everyday object, contrast.
“I see why they made him king of the jungle”: this could be a continuity thing, but no-one has used the words “King of the jungle” up till now. So either a line was cut in which they use this phrase to refer to George, or the friend is aware of genre conventions, refering to Tarzan.
These are just some of the many, many jokes in this movie. I tried to make a small yet diverse selection.
I hope this was helpful. Don’t hesitate to ask me any questions, and happy writing!
Follow me for more writing advice, or check out my other writing tips here. New topics to write advice about are also always appreciated.
Tag list below. If you like to be added to or removed from the list, let me know.
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nightingiall · 5 years ago
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quarantine fic rec in honor of 1daaw
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hi, friends! 
it’s been so long since i actually sat down and read fic and what better time to catch up on all of these wonderful writings than when we’re all stuck at home. over the past few weeks i’ve been slowly compiling this list, and while i haven’t even made a dent in my to-reads, i decided to post what i have so far in honor of 1daaw. as i read more over the next few weeks since we’ll still be stuck at home, i will try to compile more fic rec lists as i feel like this is a great way to show some love to my favorite stories and authors. i haven’t had a chance to reach out to all these amazing writers to tell them how much i love these stories, so if you’re on here, take this as my official love letter to you. 🥰
niall fics:
and they’ll hang us in the louvre by @in-madhouses​ 
there is SO MUCH about this fic that i absolutely fell in love with. the enemies to lovers trope, the characters, the plot, and the absolutely fantastic writing are all to die for. basically, niall and his friends (aka some of the 1d boys) are actors on a television adaptation of the marauders (so already i’m like !!!!!!) and aahna is a recurring guest star on the show. the two of them just grate at each others’ nerves the whole time they have to shoot together and it’s all quick-witted banter and heated moments and exquisite characterization. aahna is unapologetically herself, not afraid to tell it like it is (the rant about the neocolonialism of southeast asian cuisine in the prologue was the best thing ever) and she’s definitely up there as one of my favorite OFCs of all time. 
this story is witty and fun and a perfect light-hearted read. inm is such a gorgeous writer and some of the lines in this story read like poetry. i literally found myself stopping on multiple occasions and going wow. honestly, what a treat. inm also has a self-isolation drabble series that i’ve been meaning to get into and i can’t wait to start reading that as well. 
but oh, my heart still burns by @houseofbrokenhearts​ 
as i started to read this story, i had the biggest smile on my face. it begins with shane and niall as young, inseparable best friends and continues on into their adulthood in which things get complicated, as they always do in these scenarios. it’s nostalgic and innocent and sort of whimsical. i laughed at the part where shane is upset at not getting a cell phone when niall does because it reminded me of being a kid in a similar situation. also the scenes where they reunite after years of being apart? impeccable. 
this story has beautiful writing. i felt as though i could feel every emotion as shane was feeling them, and once i started i just couldn’t put this down. it has not been updated in a while which, as a writer who has also left her fics only to update months or years later, i understand that life gets in the way or we may lose motivation or whatever. but, whatever the future holds for this story, i just want to put it out there that i so so so adore it, and niall and shane are one of those fic pairings that i will possibly never stop thinking about. 
why did we climb and fall so far by @niallismymuse​
first of all, holy shit. when i finished reading this i literally sobbed my eyes out and then laid in bed staring at the ceiling for an hour. this fic is only four chapters and it made me feel so many things. at points, i was looking at my screen with heart eyes because niall and ellie are so in love and then i was laughing because their banter is the cutest and then all of a sudden i’m getting my fucking heart broken. 
second, i think it’s a testament to how wonderful a writer shelly is to be able to elicit these emotions so powerfully, taking us all on a rollercoaster of intense feelings. the prose on this is just phenomenal and there were lines that absolutely took my breath away. i am so picky with what i read sometimes because fiction has this ability to take you places you may not be prepared to go (definitely a trigger warning on this for heavy themes), but i am so happy i found this because it was such beautiful writing. i can’t even begin to imagine the energy and emotional willpower it must have taken to write this, so to shelly, thank you for sharing your words with us. this story is definitely one i won’t be forgetting anytime soon, and i can’t wait to dive into the rest of your stories. 
harry fics:
matchmaking for experts by @booksncoffee​
eriza is one of the most prolific writers of the 1dff community and her consistency and drive is something i enormously admire. this story is just one of many really fantastic ones from her and i urge everyone to go check out her masterlist--you won’t be disappointed. 
but anyway, back to matchmaking for experts--it’s only one chapter in and i am already hooked. there is so much to unpack in just one installment: harry’s apparent tense relationship with his father, the colorful workplace environment of the matchmaking service, the slight mutual pining between maia and harry that i anticipate will only grow as this story goes on and i am hype for it. i’m right there with the rest of the matchcierge staff in lowkey giving maia and harry’s relationship the side eye and rooting for them. all in all, it’s a fantastic beginning. eriza, you are so talented, and i can’t wait to see where this story goes. 
rumor has it by @stylishmuser​
first off, p is wonderful and brilliant and she deserves all the praise in the world. this story is the perfect collision of my two favorite worlds (bollywood and 1d) and i absolutely adore it so far. i don’t even think i have enough words to describe how much i love this story and its characters. literally, if ishika were a real person i’d want to protect her with my whole life. her characterization and history are crafted so so well; she’s vulnerable and strong and determined. i can’t wait to watch how she grows throughout this story. 
also, there are moments that literally have me staring at my screen with the biggest heart eyes: ishika making harry taste pani puri, harry being so soft and gentle with her at the beach and at her fitting, the pining. i am literally so in love. p also writes this story with such care and precision that it shows. it is so intricately crafted with so many layers and is just such a pleasure to read. she also updates so often that i am in awe of her drive. i have to dive into the rest of her stories, which i know are absolutely amazing even if i haven’t read them yet, and i’m looking forward to that as well. p, what a beautiful story. i can’t wait to see where it goes. 
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i know there are so many more fics that i need to read and i’m always taking recs in my inbox. until then, happy reading, and don’t forget to send some love to these authors when you’re done!
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gaknar · 5 years ago
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Review: The Claremont Crossovers
Geez, I haven’t written a review for this blog since my Secret Wars review from like 17 years ago. How can that be? Well, I guess I used to work on this blog a lot more often and now I’ve gotten way more into Super Nintendo games and BDSM. Like a lot of people. But now that I finally finished reading Inferno, it is time once again to bookend my experience with an overly wordy wall of text filled with the worst kind of oblivious meninist butt humor jokes and pretentious sounding run-on sentences that are trying to sound smart but are always improperly ended with prepositions of. And lots of ridiculous comic book panels.
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These are only the silliest panels from this reading that I could find after looking for about 25 seconds.
Bookeeping. This review covers everything that I have read since X-Factor #1. This includes Uncanny X-Men #204-243, X-Factor #1-39, New Mutants #38-73, along with a smattering of annuals, Daredevil, Power Pack, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Excalibur, and X-Terminators comics that were all part of the Mutant Massacre, Fall of the Mutants, and Inferno crossovers. There were a lot of developments over the course of the 4 years these comics were published. Jean Grey was resurrected and the original members of the X-Men reformed under the moniker X-Factor.
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Mr. Sinister formed his band of evil mutants, the Marauders, who would become the X-Men’s main antagonists, and their most devious act would include committing mutant genocide against the Morlocks in the New York City sewers while dealing critical wounds to main X-Men team members Kitty Pryde, Nightcrawler, and Colossus during the fight.
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Later, the X-Men were seemingly killed in a struggle with the mystical being known as the Adversary, but in reality they went into hiding in their new Australian outback base.
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Illyana Rasputin lost control of the hell dimension Limbo which led to a demon invasion of Manhattan.
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And finally, perhaps most prominently, Cyclops left his wife Madelyne Pryor and their son to get back together with Jean Grey, an act that led Madelyne to become corrupted with Pheoenix Force power and to turn into the Goblin Queen.
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This era of X-Men comics contains the first major crossovers between the main X-Men comic book and its spinoffs. These events would become common as Marvel found ways to use its more strongly published works to carry the weaker ones, and the ploy still works apparently since here I am 30 years later reading 500 page omnibus collections just because there are 4 or 5 absolutely killer X-Men comic books in them. I love the X-Men so much that I’m willing to wade through the unending buildup to get the most out of the climaxes.
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Seriously this artwork.
However, I find that this style of editing leads to a peculiar trend in pacing that can be tough to recover from in-between the major storylines. As Mutant Massacre leads into Fall of the Mutants, which then leads into Inferno, the characters are faced with consistently increasing stakes. With each passing story line, casualties grow and become more grave, and the consequences are more lasting. Mutant Massacre starts with the genocide of a mutant community, and several main characters are critically wounded as the X-Men face the worst defeat they’ve ever experienced. Then a year later in Fall of the Mutants, just as the team is starting to recover, the entire team of X-Men is killed during their battle against the Adversary. They would immediately be resurrected as a reward for sacrificing themselves to save the world, but it is still a defeat that claims the lives of every member of the team, if only for a moment. By the time we get to Inferno, the world is literally ending. Demons are raining from the sky and regular people are straight up getting slaughtered in the streets and elevators as the X-Men are more or less helpless to stop the destruction.
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Inferno is an amazing storyline, if only for all the scenes of inanimate objects coming to life and straight up eviscerating common folk who are just minding their own business. Look at this shit!!! How did the comics code of conduct ever approve this. A mob of people just packed themselves into a demon FOOD PROCESSOR and every inch of them was liquefied except their bones. Chilling. (And let’s just forget about how the writers retconned all this blood orgy stuff in the Inferno Epilogue).
This all works in a capitalistic sense. Constantly raise the stakes and don’t let up for a second because if you do, the reader will take their eyes off the page and you will lose money. But the problem is, you can’t do this forever. And if you try, eventually you are going to write yourself into a corner where you’ve raised the stakes so many times, and you’ve re-manufactured the drama so often, people will stop caring. I call this the Dragon Ball effect.
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How many times have these characters become gods at this point? Like three movies ago, the most recent movie was literally called “Battle of Gods.” I’m not even watching Super. Once your characters get so far away from humanistic stories people can relate to, you are no longer creating art. You’re manufacturing sensationalism. And it gets boring. These guys are starting to look like different flavors of freezie pops.
Maybe this is why the X-Men comics that come after this, the comics that make up the last leg of writer Chris Claremont’s 17 year run on the series, become so weird. Because perhaps there was no way to continue to raise the stakes any higher. After this point, we don’t get any more big crossovers until X-Tinction Agenda, but even that story is small and quaint when compared to what is presented here. Wolverine completely disappears from the series, all our other favorite characters disappear into the Seige Perilous to be transformed into completely different versions of themselves, and we get a lot of surreal stories that don’t have any sort of climax in the way that we’ve been conditioned to expect. The series becomes murky and ambiguous, without a solid narrative arc, and I think that’s why people regard the end of Chris Claremont’s writing on the series to be the weakest part of his run.
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I can’t wait to read the X-Men comics that are coming up next. Because I didn’t know what in the FUCK was going on in these comics when I was a kid and I’m hoping they make more sense now.
Anyway, I’ll be the judge of all that, once I get there. (I may even indulge in the Infinity Gauntlet omnibus because, you know, there’s a couple X-Men involved in that). But regardless of what comes after this, I think it’s also true that the crossovers presented in this reading are generally regarded with less respect than Chris Claremont’s earlier work on the series, such as the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. This I don’t agree with. While the stories in this reading do range in quality, with Fall of the Mutants definitely being the weakest of the three big crossovers, and even though the Uncanny X-Men portion of Inferno isn’t even the central story of that crossover (the critical story elements take place in the far inferior issues of New Mutants and <ugh> X-Terminators written by Louise Simonson), Claremont’s writing is still much stronger, more layered, and more elegant than anything else that is presented in these collections. These crossovers may not be as timeless or original as the most famous X-Men stories, but the writing here is still really darn good and engaging (at least in Uncanny X-Men), and in my opinion, does not represent a decline in aptitude on the part of the writer. It’s clear that Claremont’s writing has continued to mature and become more nuanced, so much so that when you compare it to the first issues he wrote for the series, it seems like he’s a completely different writer.
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KALIDASCOPICALLY. Again, these were just the silliest panels I could find after looking for about 25 seconds.
Personally, I love this period of X-Men comics. Under Claremont’s executive control, no plot thread gets dropped. No minor detail goes disregarded. Characters continue to grow and develop at such a natural pace, sometimes it feels like my own life is developing right alongside theirs. This adds depth to these readings and I can’t describe how it feels to be a part of them, and I think it’s this element that is missing from so many other comic books written by so many other comic book writers, including nearly every X-Men story written after Chris Claremont left the series.
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Case in point, there are so many minor recurring characters that appear in these stories, like Franklin Richards. (I seriously tear up every time I see these panels). This little guy bounces around the Power Pack, the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four like a ping pong ball. He’s a key character in the story line where Kitty Pryde finally recovers from the wounds she suffered during Mutant Massacre. And even though Kitty and Franklin have only met each other a few times, those meetings have meaning and they are remembered and called upon in the telling of the current story. All of the efforts made by the writers and editors to keep the narrative linked make these characters seem like real life people with weight and substance, rather than a thin layer of ink on a piece of paper. And it totally works.
Ugh, this review turned into another circle jerk about the writers of these comics, and especially about Chris Claremont. But what can I say. It’s because of the writers that we are here. Love or hate these comics, and I know Claremont’s wordy scripts are not everyone’s cup of tea, but these are the stories that make the X-Men what they are. It’s tough to be aware of these things when you’re in the middle of reading them, but I’m having the absolute best time writing this blog right now, and it is primarily because these are the comics that resonate with me the most. And when I’m finished with Claremont’s material and I’m slogging through some crap written by Chuck Austen, I bet I’m going to look back on these days with envy.
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Sorry this is so long......How TV Creators Are Handling Subtext And Shipping
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TV series creators have a hard time not tailoring content towards a strictly heteronormative audience, refusing to lean in to queer context, no matter howlarge an LGBTQ following a show may have.
Once a fictional character is put out for public consumption, it ceases to be the one thing it’s described as on paper. This is especially the case with TV and film, where said character goes through so many hands before hitting the screen and becoming public property.
There are three kinds of creators when it comes to queer content on TV. The first (and sadly, most typical) is the creator who will deny any intention of creating queer content, and who will also refuse to acknowledge a queer audience’s interpretation., This often results in an instant backlash, as the Supergirlcast and creators experienced after an embarrassing interview with MTV last summer. When prompted to recap the latest season, the cast broke into a cringeworthy song that mocked fans’ interest in the Supergirl/Lena Luthor pairing, with Jeremy Jordan repeatedly exclaiming that the two will never get together. It continued despite Katie McGrath’s attempt to save the interview saying, “The great thing about what we do is, like any art, anyone can read into it what they want.” Chris Wood then chimed in with “Sexuality is all about others’ perception of yours, right?”
Supergirl is a show with a large female following that from the beginning has gravitated toward the female relationships it portrays, with emphasis on those relationships with strong queer energy. At first, there was a group of internet fans that were drawn to the chemistry between Melissa Benoist and Calista Flockhart, which was maximized due to the characters’ intense mentor/mentee relationship, and that was fine, and for the most part went unacknowledged by the show.
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However, upon Flockhart’s exit, Lena Luthor was introduced, played by Katie McGrath. Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor became fast friends, and fans’ fascination with Supergirl’s queer vibes grew strong enough for the the cast to take notice. One would think that by having Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer, two queer characters already in their orbit, fan speculation about others wouldn’t be such an inconvenience that it would have to be addressed by aggressively singing “They’re only friends!” over and over, as if the pairing were unfathomable.
But Supergirl hasn’t been the only show to outright reject queer interpretations. In fact, a few years back, the long-running series Supernatural was called out by its fans for purposefully inserting homoerotic subtext within storylines pertaining to male characters Dean and Castiel, and for rather indirectly addressing said subtext in interviews. In one of them, Misha Collins (Castiel) stated that in certain scenes with Jensen Ackles (Dean) he was directed to portray his character as a “jilted lover.”
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During a Toronto Con panel in 2013, it was revealed that a line was changed by Ackles — who last year specifically requested no questions about the popular pairing be allowed during the Q portion of a panel for the show at New Jersey Con–from “I love you” to “We’re family. I need you” because the Actor didn’t think it suited his character. Despite fandom’s interest in the pairing, it hasn’t been enough for Supernaturalto follow through with an actual queer storyline, aside from the one recurring lesbian character, Charlie, who was ultimately killed off. It turns out our tolerance for queerbaiting does have its limits.
Another show that failed to address the sapphic energy between its leads, in effect rejecting a great opportunity to add a bonus layer to an already complex relationship between two women, was Damages. The thriller starred Glenn Close as powerhouse prosecutor Patty Hewes, and Rose Byrne as her protégée, Ellen Parsons. The series went on for five seasons and throughout, though it benefitted from incredible writing, its highlight was clearly the tension and undecipherable relationship between Patty and Ellen.
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While there was never any doubt that their connection was what kept the the show’s palpable tension dial at a 10, anytime the subject was brought up to either cast or creators it was denied or waved off as “wishful thinking,” as Glenn Close put it. When pressed further, she added, “I think there’s something seductive about Patty and she just seduces people and she’ll lead people on. I think that can come across as pure seduction.”
With Person of Interest, Sameen Shaw (Sarah Shahi) and Root (Amy Acker) first connected under very unique, very dark circumstances in which one was holding the other against their will in a life threatening situation. But there was a sizzle there that the audience immediately responded to, and while both cast and writers admitted that was not their intention, something amazing happenedthey took that audience reaction and ran with it. In the end, Shaw and Root’s romance became one of the show’s more compelling storylines.
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Jane the Virgin did the same. When a character, Petra, who wasn’t intentionally written as queer read queer to LGBTQ viewers, the writers saw no problem taking the interpretation and adopting it as canon. After years of keeping Petra as a sort of peripheral player within Jane/Rafael storylines, the character of Jane Ramos was introduced as Petra’s defense attorney and eventual love interest.
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The third type of creator is everyone’s favorite. This is the one that takes whatever gay subtext or context there is, embraces it, and expands upon it, recognizing that it’s there from the beginning. In the Flesh and Killing Eve are true representatives of queer entertainment that isn’t trying to steer its characters toward a path they weren’t organically wanting to go.
In the Flesh, a BAFTA-award winning series from BBC 3, was easily one of the best shows that no one watched; a zombie show with depth, which isn’t easy to accomplish. The story takes place years after a virus epidemic that turned the infected into flesh-eating monsters is cured, and the rehabilitated are returning home. Its main character is Luke, one of the former infected, suffering from memories of the terrible things he did while sick, and tortured by his own suicide, which was prompted by the loss of love interest, Rick.
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The series ran for only two seasons, with a total of nine episodes. It was inventive and creative and stands as one of the greats right next to shows like Hannibal and The Exorcist, which was unfortunately canceled by Fox this year after only two seasons of sacrilege, beautiful cinematography, Alfonso Herrera (Sense8) and a bisexual Father Marcus, played by Ben Daniels.
Killing Eve is a female-led thriller that proves that the secret to making great TV is treating characters like human beings with the capacity to change. Eve, who, when we meet her, is living a life that doesn’t seem particularly terrible, whose marriage appears to be solid, her job secure, is lured into potentially life threatening situations for the sake of following her inexplicable attraction to a female assassin. As if beneath the surface there is a dormant unrest that is awakened with the arrival of Villanelle in her life, and though she does not stop to examine exactly what she expects to get from it, she craves and wants more of these moments that have stirred her awake. She’s both excited and frightened by Villanelle’s audaciousness, by the intrusion into her life,
both figuratively and literally.
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The season’s got a few episodes left, yet the most compelling, and most attentively queer moment is part of the fifth episode, in which the two women finally come face to face in Eve’s home. Eve is sopping wet in a gorgeous dress Villanelle’s purchased for her, she’s cold and visibly uncomfortable, therefore Villanelle suggests Eve should change, before proceeding to peel the dress off her herself. It is a scene that doesn’t downplay the very real danger Eve is in by having Villanelle in her home. However there is also an erotic aspect to it that is very purposeful, and as series creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge points out, the attraction is definitely mutual, “I knew that the first moment they see each other. I labeled that moment as ‘love at first sight.’ But I didn’t want it to be constrained to romance, or to lust, or anything like that. There’s something waking in Eve every day that she spends imagining what this woman is doing.”
This type of storytelling allows characters to evolve the way that they want to evolve as opposed to forcing them into a first page description. There is loyalty to the authenticity of the story, which comes from meticulous attention paid to the writing, which Waller-Green explains is all about going against cliché: “The moment something feels predictable, there’s a roar in me to just go to the most surprising place. I don’t want to bore myself.”
Often times, when female queer characters are introduced, it is done in order to titillate, and their storylines are the product of a male gaze fantasy. Killing Eve manages to avoid all of that with Villanelle, a character who seems to have no specific preference when it comes to sexual partners, and yet doesn’t feel the need to use her sexuality to get what she wants. In addition to that and the meaty tension between the two leads (Villanelle and the titular Eve, played by Sandra Oh), the attention paid to the very queer theme of the show is evident in backstories of characters that would normally go without one, like that of Eve’s former boss and best friend Bill, an older man in a heterosexual relationship who casually reveals he’s loved “hundreds” of men, much to Eve’s surprise, and further reveals he is in an open relationship, and happily so.
The series proves not only that queer characters are marketablethe BBC series was renewed for a second season before the first even airedbut that straight creators are capable of writing queer content that isn’t offensive or over-sexualized. Phoebe Waller-Bridge credits the authenticity of the series to a collaborative effort, stating, “Because it’s all about the characters, the little details that link the two worlds, everyone’s really made it a psychological piece rather than just an artistic painting of two different people’s worlds,” but it really just goes to show that that negative aspects of queer representation that include the dreaded male gaze perspective can be avoided as long as the bar is set high enough by the showrunner.
It only takes a little bit of creativity and imagination, and a willingness to challenge the idea that heterosexual-based television makes for the best and most successful stories.
Alex Velazquez is a writer, photographer, and queer Mexican living in Los Angeles, CA.
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