#but Amir has that something special

[starlyris]

I'm watching everyone's new years kiss scene with Amir and I'm losing my mind.

HE IS SO SWEET!!!!

...and so determined to make this memorable.

From tossing the glasses (lol, sry Kalymos) to the little twirl and the hand kissing....gods he is really something.

You can tell they've goofed around like this before, he's just so comfortable with Drifter.

And he looks so happy?????

Amir Beckett the man you are ❤️

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part fifteen

authors note: i hope everyone has recovered from the last chapter! just remember, there's, typically, light at the end of the tunnel!

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: violence, angst, language, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 7k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @southerngirl41 @wanderingreigns

Alexis is going to jail.

She’s accepted as such and doesn't really care about that as much as she's curious about what the charges will be. Aggravated assault. Attempted murder. Actual murder. It’s all up in the air, each a very much real possibility. 

Truth be told, she’s wanted to put the paws on Mariah for years. And not even because Mariah has done anything outright, not close to this level anyways. It was just something about her that screamed fake and inauthentic. However, she recognized what friendship and loyalty meant to you, and while you’d mentioned a few arguments over the years, nothing was major enough for her to act on her violent urges.

Now though? 

Now, she’s ready to rain fire. 

She doesn’t give a flying fuck about traffic laws, well exceeding every speed limit she zooms through in order to make it to Mariah’s house. It’s an address that wasn’t too hard to find. Google is such a wonderful thing. She would have asked you for that information, but she also wants you as separate from what she’s about to do as possible. Especially with DCFS in the midst of an active investigation.

Just thinking about it pisses her off even more. It’s one thing to call DCFS on someone who’s arguably one of the best parents on this fucking earth, but it’s another to accuse said parents of the things Mariah accused you. 

It’s unforgivable. 

It’s also why Alexis won’t feel somewhat content until she spills Mariah’s blood. Pulling up into the driveway behind the parked Camry, Alexis shuts off the car, reaches for the bat in the passenger seat and slams the door behind her as she marches up the three steps to the front door. Her fists immediately start banging on the door. “Open the door, hoe!” More banging. “I know you in there! Come outside so I can crack ya’ fucking head open!”

Alexis isn’t stupid. She knows no one with common sense would open the door to anyone yelling such things. Cue: the bat. 

Moving across the porch, Alexis doesn’t hesitate to give a solid swing to the window, effectively cracking it. The second blow is the one, however, that shatters it. She kicks through the remnants and proceeds to climb in. 

With a possible element of surprise, Alexis opts to remain quiet, looking around the living room. She’s tempted to smash the TV but decides against it, as she’d much rather save her strength for blows against Mariah’s body.

Moving throughout the house, she’s lucky enough for the first door she kicks open to reveal her victim. 

But Mariah isn’t alone.

In a pleasant surprise. Alexis just so happens to walk in on Mariah receiving backshots from a man who quickly stumbles and looks back over his shoulder at her entrance. Alexis immediately recognizes him. 

Amir.

“Now ain’t this about a bitch!” Alexis' smile is wild and crazed as she watches Amir stumble to cover himself, Mariah’s eyes also wide with horror and shock as she holds the sheet to her chest. “A two for one special. My lucky fucking day.”

“What the hell?” Amir has managed to pull his boxers on and is standing near the bed, close to Mariah in an almost protective manner. Like that’ll keep her safe from Alexis' wrath. “Alexis? What the fuck are you doing?”

“I would ask ya’ll niggas the same thing, but ain’t no sense in stating the obvious.” She motions between the two of them with her steel bat. “How long?”

Mariah screams, the fear in her voice and eyes music to Alexis soul. “Get out of my house!”

“Oh, Imma leave, but not until you’re unconscious.” She looks toward Amir. “And if you try to get in my way, Imma knock your ass out too.” Alexis' hands are rated E for everyone. She fights females and males with equal smoke. “Now, I’m not gon’ ask again, how long have ya’ll been fucking behind Y/N’s back?”

Truth be told, Alexis wouldn’t trust a single word out of either of their mouths, but she’s curious. The answer regardless will aid in the intensity of her beating. 

Amir is the first to ‘answer’. “I don’t owe Y/N shit. She’s not my girl.” As if he has a right to be upset, he continues, anger painting his face. “I tried, but she chose to be with that nigga.” 

“And will every single mother fucking time because unlike you, he’s actually worth something and deserves her. Not like you two snakes.” It’s the fact that Amir thinks that he’s been done wrong in some way that blows her mind. He might be as delusional as the bitch he was just fucking. “I’m tired of talking. Get the fuck out my way, so I can knock this hoe’s head off.”

It’s when Alexis takes a step toward the bed that Amir extends his arm out, “wait, before you do this—”

“Do you even know what she did?” Alexis demands, grip on the bat tightening as she remembers holding you as you cried into her over having your child ripped away from you. The fear in Callie’s eyes. It enrages her all over again. “Ask the bitch! Go on, ask her!”

Amir is still understandably cautious and pissed at this intrusion, but his gaze still falls on Mariah. “What is she talking about?”

Mariah pauses and shakes her head, stuttering. “I–I don’t know. She’s–she’s crazy.”

“She’s a liar!” Alexis shouts, explaining to Amir. “She called DCFS on Y/N and made up all kind of lies!” She juggs the bat in the direction of that slime. “They took Callie away from Y/N because of her!”

It seems like there’s a sudden shift that Alexis recognizes as the tide gradually turning. She still thinks Amir is a piece of shit, but it does count for a tiny something that he looks absolutely disgusted by this revelation. His eyes narrow at Mariah. “You did what?” Mariah’s face gives away her guilt as he demands, “what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you do that!”

Clearly adept at deviating, Mariah attempts to redirect the focus. “You really gon’ believe this bitch over me!” 

Alexis laughs, throwing her head back. She’s really going to enjoy breaking this bitch jaw.

Amir seems heated now. Again, not that Alexis really cares. He’s not much better than this hoe in her book. “You got her child taken away from her, Mariah! What part of that do you not understand is fucked up! You’ve gone too fucking far!”

“If Callie got taken away, then she should have been doing a better job making sure her kid was straight instead of chasing a married around like a desperate who—”

Alexis lunges, literally lunges, across the room before Mariah can even finish her sentence. There’s a sickening crack that enters the air when her fist collides with Mariah’s nose. Mariah’s cry is sounded out by Alexis snatching her by her hair and banging her head into the headboard. “Say it, bitch! Say it so I can knock ya fucking teeth out your mouth.”

“Get off me!” Mariah screams, but it’s no use, Alexis blows are powerful and focused, knuckles burning from the impact with bone, not that it makes a difference to her. She’s only seeing and hearing red.

“I been wanted to stomp your hoe ass!” And Alexis does just that, dragging and tossing Mariah onto the floor and stomping her feet into Mariah’s side. 

Mariah is crying like a little bitch, screaming, “help me!” 

But Amir does nothing, just stands there watching as Alexis rains blow on top of blow, kick on top of kick to the broad he was just balls deep in minutes ago. It speaks volumes of his character, not that that was much to behold anyway.

However, it’s when she cries out again, “we got a fucking son together, Amir!”

This actually takes Alexis by surprise as she realizes what Mariah just said. She knows the bitch has a son, but she also knows this woman is married. Though estranged, still married. Is…..is Amir the biological father of her son? Has she really been messing with Amir long enough for him to possibly father her baby?

Is that why she’s estranged from her husband?

That’s a whole other layer that adds to the betrayal. Alexis starts mixing on Mariah again, ignoring the splatter of blood on her fists and the possibility that her child might be just a room or two away.

At least she still has her kid. 

“That’s enough.” Amir’s voice finally sounds from behind her, but Alexis is in the zone. She’s not letting up off this hoe. “Alexis, that’s enough!” And then he makes the cardinal mistake of trying to interfere, reaching to pull her off Mariah. Instantly, Alexis reaches behind and lands her fist against his face.

“Fuck!” He calls out. Alexis grabs the bat, swinging it across his knee. Amir cries out and falls on his back, cradling his knee. “You crazy bitch!”

“That’s right, I’m the crazy bitch that’s gon come back and fuck both ya’ll asses up again if you ever in your life try Y/N!” Alexis realizes Mariah is on the verge of losing consciousness, so she ensures she grabs her by her raggedy tracks. “You stay the hell away from her, you hear me? You even so much as utter her name, utter Callie’s name, and I’mma put you six feet under!” A final stomp to Mariah’s jaw is the last thing she sees before being knocked unconscious. 

Breathing heavy, Alexis looks around, pleased with her carnage only to see Amir starting to stand up, knee obviously fucked up. “I didn’t—I didn’t know.”

Alexis marches over to him and punches him square in his nose, satisfied with the crunch sound that follows. He curses loudly, hands over his nose that’s started to spurt out blood. 

“Bitch ass nigga,” she mutters, taking one final survey of the room and walking out, pleased with the results. She suddenly feels so much better, hungry but deeply satisfied. Curious, she asks a groaning Amir.

“Ya’ll got a McDonald’s in this town?”

—---------

The knock on the door is probably the first thing to make you feel anything in hours. You’ve just laid on the bed all day, staring at the empty wall across the room. The apartment is quiet. It’s never quiet. 

Not since you first brought Callie home from the hospital. You miss her giggles, her loud singing, the patterning of her feet as she runs into your room, jumping on the bed, rambling about the most random of things.

You wished that her being with your mom and not some random family would provide more comfort than it does, but as soon as you try to find some relief in that, your mind goes towards why she’s with your mom and the fact that you are legally barred from speaking to and interacting with the child you birthed and have raised since she first entered this world.

That’s when the tears come. You’re not sure there’s many left to be honest.

So, a knock on the door is the closest thing you have to hope, hope that someway, somehow, someone with enough pull was able to make all of this go away, make this nightmare of a reality a thing of fiction. 

Running to the front door, that hope is both dashed yet sustained when you rip it open. 

Turns out you’re wrong, there are definitely more tears left.

“Joe…”

You’re not sure who makes the move first, probably him, because the moment his eyes land on you, his expression softens into something sympathetic. 

He’s holding the back of your head as you cry into his chest, comforting you. And then it hits you. You pull away, holding onto his shirt, “did you see her? H-how is she?”

You made sure to emphasize that Joe needed to check in on Callie before coming to see you, not that it was something he needed to be told. You’re certain his first and foremost priority was checking in on Callie. 

He wipes at your eyes. “She’s okay.” It’s a safe answer, one that’s probably both partially and impartially true. How okay can she be in a situation like this? His response is more for your comfort than anything, you’re sure. “I got her down for bed before I left.” His eyes give you a one over. “When’s the last time you ate something?”

You’re certain you must look a mess. You also don’t care about that. You don’t really care about much to be honest. 

Still, it’s a valid question that takes you a second to contemplate. “I–I don’t know.” And before he can say something further, you inform, “I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat something.”

“No, I–what I need is to start getting this place together.” Pulling away from him, sniffling and wiping at your eyes, you motion around your apartment. “They’re doing the home inspection tomorrow.”

In between tears and depression, you’d received formal notice regarding the home visit where they’d evaluate the environment to ensure its appropriateness for a child as well as your emergency court date. 

Joe’s gaze is on you and lazily scans the room that’s more or less spotless. “It looks fine, Y/N.”

“Fine isn’t good enough, Joe,” your voice is firmer, a hint of irritation. “It has to be perfect so they can—” Without even realizing what’s happening, another unexpected set of tears arrives, your voice cracking. “—so they can give my baby back to me.”

He guides you back into his chest, comforting you as the next set of waterworks overcomes you. You’ve always hated crying, always found it irritating because it was hard to control, even harder to stop. This is all of those things. 

“I can’t believe she would—would do this to me.” That’s the part you still can’t wrap around. How could you not see what kind of person Mariah was? You’ve always thought you were a good judge of character. This was Callie’s legal godmother for fucks sake. “Do you know what she said about me? What she said I was going to do—” Your mouth watering and stomach twisting alerts you to what’s about to come, and you dash away from him to the bathroom where you fall to your knees, vomiting into the toilet. 

Joe is behind you not even minutes later, hand on the small of your back as you cry over that same toilet. There’s a level of appreciation for him being here with you in this moment, but it still doesn’t wholly ease that dull ache in your chest. 

Getting cleaned up, Joe doesn’t take no for an answer when he says that he’s going to make you something to eat and you’re going to eat. Deep down, you know he’s right. Not only are you teetering on sleep deprivation, but the lack of food in your system is eventually going to take a toll. And you need to be at your absolute best the next few days. 

However, even with his delicious cooking and emotional support, it’s not enough to keep your emotions at bay because you end up right back at that toilet, depositing everything you just tried to consume.

You just feel so off, so incomplete, because you are. 

Because you don’t know you’re supposed to proceed without your child. How you’re supposed to proceed and act like your world hasn’t been turned upside down, like you’re not in a position where you have to prove that you’re a fit parent. 

Something you could have never imagined you’d be having to prove. This whole situation, nightmare, has pushed you so much farther in the direction of wanting to move.

Mariah’s play has stolen your sense of security in this town, the place you’ve always called home. It feels like you’ll never be able to feel comfortable again so long as she’s also a resident. Blocking her on all platforms isn’t enough. You don’t want her to have any access to you or Callie whatsoever.

And that can only be done with moving. 

A small part of you considers talking with Joe about you and Callie staying at his place in Florida for the time being until you find a house. And you hate that, the idea of uprooting your and Callie’s life so suddenly. Not even being able to stay until the end of the school year, not being able to give your students the proper time to transition and adjust to your departure.

But you have to think about your family, your child, and what’s best for her.

It's starting to become more and more clear that the best thing you can do at this point is leave.

If not the only thing. ________

“She finally sleep?”

After treating herself to McDonalds, Alexis casually reached out to her legal team to let them know she could be facing a couple of charges and to be ready to bail her out once the warrant was issued. They were already fast ahead in working towards a plan to get said charges dismissed, so she's honestly not concerned at all.

And even if they aren’t dismissed, she doesn't mind. 

She’d do it all over again if she had to. 

So, after getting cleaned up and settling her affairs, she headed back over to the apartment to check on you. Alexis wasn’t surprised to find you still heavily upset, but the physical sickness was hard to watch. She’s so grateful that you listened to her and called Joe. She can’t imagine you going through this without his support.

“I got her to agree to take Benadryl.” Joe’s eyes are focused on the island as he sits down at the barstool and leans back. Alexis hasn’t been around Joe a ton, but that’s not needed to tell he’s a myriad of emotions right now, primarily anger. He adds, clearly concerned, “she can’t keep anything down.”

“She’s a wreck,” Alexis says as kindly as she can, because it’s the ugly truth. She’s always known you to be so calm and composed. This is anything but. Yes, there were a couple moments where you lost your temper. But post Callie? You’ve been the textbook definition of what it looks like to be a picture of calmness in a storm. 

Now….now you’re just a disaster.

Not that a single soul could blame you.

“How is Callie? Like, really?” Alexis isn’t sure if asking him this right now is the right move, but she’s genuinely curious. She’d take a bet that he played it down for the sake of your current mental state.

“Confused. Sad as hell. Doesn’t know why the fuck she’s just been ripped from her mother for no reason.” His anger is palpable and completely understandable. 

Alexis listens, working to control her own anger. Mariah’s beating wasn’t good enough. “It’s fucked up. That’s for sure.”

His jaw is clenched as she states, boldly, “I’ve gotta get them out of this damn town.” 

Alexis looks at him, partially not following his statement. “Aren’t they already moving to live with you?

“Yes, at the end of the summer, but that’s not soon enough.” She hears what he’s saying, but she isn’t quite sure about the realistic aspect of what he clearly wants at this point. “I need them out of here now.”

Alexis takes a second before responding, not wanting to further upset him. Typically, she doesn’t give two shits about how her words are perceived, but this is an entirely different situation. “You’re not wrong, Joe, but Y/N can’t just up and leave—”

“We don’t have much of a fucking choice, Alexis.” His tone, if not for the current circumstances, would be completely unacceptable. He’s talking to her like she’s a child, but Alexis knows emotions are high, so she sets aside her pride. “I don’t want that bitch anywhere near them.” 

Careful with her words, she counters calmly, “you know there’s a chance Y/N's not going to like that.” 

Alexis knows you, and knows that you like order. You’d want to properly close out the year, have time to say goodbye. Then again, after something like this, she’s not actually 100% sure where you’d stand on moving sooner than initially planned.

Joe then brings up a valid point. “It’s not about what she likes and doesn’t like. It’s about Calista and what’s best for her.” He’s not wrong, Alexis won’t deny him that. “Mariah is fucking psychotic, and I’m not taking any more chances with her pulling anymore shit like this. I’ve already contacted my lawyers to see what options we have there.”

Joe lawyering up makes all the sense in the world. It’s probably the smartest decision for him and Y/N, which is why she’s so grateful she stopped you from catching an unnecessary charge. “I can beat her ass again once she gets released from the hospital. It was quite therapeutic actually.” Alexis is slightly pleased to hear Joe chuckle at her words, even if she’s being completely honest. “I’ll tell you this, but don’t tell Y/N. She’s got enough she’s dealing with.” 

Joe is quick to assert. “I don’t like keeping things from her.”

Ignoring his counter, Alexis supplies, “Mariah was fucking Amir when I got there. Like, I literally caught them in bed.” 

As expected, Joe looks taken back, “what?”

She nods and adds, “but that’s not it. When the stupid bitch was begging for him to help her, she said they have a son together.” Lowering her voice in case you somehow fought the powers of Benadryl, she concludes, “I think Amir is the biological father of her kid,”

“Son of a bitch,” he mutters. Joe is suddenly wishing he acted upon impulse instead of logic and beat the shit out of Amir that night he had the chance. That bastard really was a scumbag. He’s also partially wishing he’d tagged along with Mariah. Joe would never put his hands on a woman, but Amir? He’d be laid out in the hospital just like Mariah is. “Just how long have they been messing around?”

“Long enough for her to get knocked up by him.” She shakes her head, trying to settle the growing anger. “God, I hate her ass. Him too, but definitely her. How do you just fuck your best friend’s ex like that? When you know she’s fucking him too? Fuckin nasty ass hoe.” 

He won’t disagree, sharing, “you probably already know this, but Mariah used to mess with Randy Orton, and he'd said she ended up being clingy and crazy when he broke it off.” 

“Really?” Alexis remembers you mentioning to her that Mariah was sleeping with a wrestler around the same time you first got with Joe but nothing about how it ended. “That lines up.”

“I never really paid much attention to it, because she wasn’t relevant to me, and Orton was an ass back in the day, so I took it with a grain of salt.” A heavy frown appears on his handsome face. “Clearly, that was a mistake.”

Realizing what’s happening, she shakes her head. “Oh my god. Not you too.” She jumps into her therapist mode, nearly repeating exactly what she’d said to you this morning. “This is no one’s fault except for Mariah. Not yours. Not Y/N’s, just that raggedy hoe.” 

Joe tries his best to heed to Alexis’s advice. “You’ve never liked her, right?” Alexis nods aggressively. “Why?” 

“I always felt like she was jealous of Y/N. Like….she benefited way more from her friendship with Y/N than Y/N did. When we were in college, Y/N was popular and well liked, and I get the sense that that’s always been the case. Mariah clearly benefited from that, so the jealousy wasn’t as bad, not enough for Y/N to notice it anyway.” Alexis starts to speculate, though she feels it’s more fact than hypothesis. “But then you come back in the picture, and the tide turns. Y/N gets the guy, the kid, the happy family. And then on top of all that, homegirl finally gets exposed, so Y/N, rightfully, cuts her off. But psycho-riah wasn’t having that.”

Laying it all out like that makes sense to both Joe and Alexis. It’s obvious Mariah is disturbed, because only a person not right in the head would do what she’s done. All of the things she’s done. But maybe it never got this bad because she and Y/N were always around the same level, both living in this small ass town, just raising their kids. 

Then he came in the picture, and she got jealous. 

It makes sense.

It also pisses him the fuck off. 

“This probably isn’t the right time to ask this, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because you never know when my warrant is gonna become active.” There’s such a casualness and nonchalant manner regarding how Alexis refers to her pending arrest, like it’s not that big a deal. And for her, it really isn’t. She knows her lawyers will most likely have her out on bond and charges dropped or dismissed by the end of the week. Hence her prying. “But just when in the hell do you plan to propose to Y/N?”

It’s definitely a 180 in topics that Joe wasn’t expecting, especially when she continues.

“I know it’s gotta be coming soon, because it’s obvious you love the mess out of her and want to be with her forever, but when, sir? Don’t be having my girl out here as a glorified girlfriend for too long, cause I don’t care how big you are, you can catch that Mariah Edition beating right along with her.” Joe smiles, shaking his head. It’s a much needed break from all the heaviness of the day. “And you best not get her knocked up again before it happens.” She considers her words and retracts. “Then again, ya’ll both freaky as hell and fuck like rabbits, so maybe that one is a stretch.”

With a casual shrug, Joe goes for his response. “Who says I don’t al—”

“Wait. Don’t say anything.” She interrupts, hands up as if remembering something. “I suck at keeping secrets, and I’m sure you’re gonna go all out for the proposal, so don’t tell me shit.” She nods, as if trying to convince herself that this is the safest and best route. “Just make sure I get an invite to the wedding. Then again, I’ll just show up anyway regardless.”

He has zero doubt she won’t.

But while Alexis' random tangent brings about brief relief, his mind easily switches back to the major issue at hand. 

“You know I’m right, Lex.” He looks at her, again reiterating, “they can’t stay here.” It’s in expressing her theory about Mariah aloud that helps Alexis realize Joe’s even more valid in his stance than she thought. “I can’t have this happen again. Y/N and Callie can’t have this happen again especially. They’re both a mess.” He looks down, jaw clenching. “I can’t see them go through this again.” 

There’s no desire or basis to argue. Alexis can’t imagine how difficult this must be for him as well. To see all this happening, to see the two people he loves the most be in pain and not be able to do anything about it. 

It’s gotta be torture.

She finally settles on a simple, basic answer. “You’re right.”

Joe is quiet for a few moments, expression indicating he’s searching and trying to navigate something. Alexis watches as he suddenly pulls out his phone, typing hurriedly. She figures he's sending a text to someone when he finally says, “I need you to do something for me.”

There’s not a second of hesitation. “Consider it done.”

“Good.” He doesn’t waste any time, recognizing every moment that passes is precious. “How quickly can you get a flight out to Florida?”

________

Before agreeing to take the tiny pink pill of sleep damnation, you made Joe promise to wake you up at 7am sharp. The home inspection was scheduled for 3pm, but you have something you need to do before then.

And Joe is true to his word, stirring you awake not a minute past 7.

Despite his protest and disagreement, you skip breakfast. It’s going on two days since you’ve actually had and retained a meal, but you can’t bring yourself to do so, your abs already sore from all the contractions that come with vomiting.

So, you settle on coffee and get to cleaning. Joe helps you, though there’s not much to be done, just little things that the average person wouldn’t pay much attention to. But, you’re not taking any risks. Your place needs to be as spotless as humanly possible. 

And you need to look as good as you can, so you spend much more time than necessary in the shower, scrubbing your body clean, shaving every piece of hair that doesn’t need to be there. All very much over the top, but you don’t care. You need to feel prepared. 

You even take on the daunting task of laying your mass of curls into a slick top bun. In your opinion, it’s always made you look ten times more professional. Even if it does take ten times as long to accomplish because of all your hair. 

Still, worth it. Everything is worth it if it means having your daughter back in your custody. 

It’s why you dig through your closet for the nicest set of business professional attire that you own, some nice dress pants and a white blouse that beautifully compliments your complexion. 

The top has always been a little snug around your chest, which is expected, even if feeling a little tighter than usual.

What you don’t expect or need is to slide on said pants only to find out you can’t get them to snap. Even the jump and wiggle to better adjust it over your ass and thighs isn’t enough to secure the button.

You stand there for a moment, only briefly stumped. You’re realizing that one of your earlier assumptions before this whole mess was correct.

You’ve put on weight.

It was something you first started to notice when you looked again at the post Alexis made of you on your Instagram. You could see it a little in your face, but mostly your ass and thighs. Thankfully, you’ve always typically carried your weight in all the right places. And it isn’t anything too crazy, maybe something only you notice because you know your body better than anyone.

But, it’s enough to where your go-to pants no longer fit. 

It’s not too concerning, especially with everything else you have going on. You’ve always yo-yo’d a bit with your weight and interestingly enough, the same happened in the months after your first meeting with Joe all those years ago.

“Happy weight,” you’re sure Alexis would call it. 

Sliding them off, you settle on another pair, close to your favorites and a size bigger. They snap closed, and that little thing makes you feel instantly relieved.

It’s another thirty minutes before you finally exit the bedroom, face beat in neutral yet professional makeup. Joe moves from where he was texting on the sofa and approaches you.

Concern is etched in the crinkles around his eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“No. I—I got this. Go—go spend the day with Callie.” Because I’d do anything to be able to do just that. “You probably shouldn’t even be here around me.”

It’s partially true. Joe isn’t even on Callie’s birth certificate, so as far as the law is concerned, you’re the only parent under investigation. Still, the irrational fear is strong that they’ll find some reason to add him to the investigation if they find out he’s been interacting with both you and Callie.

You can’t even think about what hell it would be if Joe was also barred from having any engagement with Callie.

You couldn’t handle it. Callie couldn’t handle it. And Joe wouldn’t stand for it. You know that for certain. He wouldn’t give a damn what the law stated.

“Yeah, that’s not fucking happening.” His dismissal is swift and firm. You have a feeling there isn’t a force on earth that could keep him from being with you right now. From being around Callie. “Are you sure you don’t want to try to eat something?”

Shaking your head, you explain. “No. I can’t risk vomiting again. I drank some Gatorade. I’ll be fine.” You don’t have a choice. Voice softening, you apologize again. “I’m so sorry about all of this. I had no idea she could ever—“

He stops you before you can get choked up. Joe's hands are on your face, comforting, “none of this is your fault, and I don’t blame you for anything. None of it.” His thumb brushes softly against your cheek. “But….but I do think we need to discuss moving up the move date for you and Callie.”

“I know.” You're certain he expected more of a push back from you, some level of argument, but he won’t find it. Mariah has taken that right away from you. “We—we can talk about it more later, okay?”

Understandably, he’s pleased and brings his hand to your hip, giving a gentle squeeze. “You should get going.” He’s right. The sooner you tackle this, the sooner you can focus on nailing this visitation. 

He kisses your forehead, lips lingering as he murmurs, “I love you.”

You’ll never get tired of hearing those words leave his mouth, needing to hear them now more than ever. You’re so grateful for him and all he does. “I love you too.”

You’re grabbing your purse and keys off the key holder on the wall when he calls out your name. 

“Mariah didn’t say anything to you before this, right? Outside of the exchange that day you told me about?” His question takes you by surprise, and he adds, probably not wanting you to feel like you’re on the witness stand. “My lawyers want to know if we can establish a paper trail.”

He’d mentioned reaching out to his legal team to see what recourse was available, but it isn’t something you’re overtly thrilled about. You understand where he’s coming from, but that’s not a route you’re sure you want to go down. Legal battles, from what you know, can get really ugly. And there’s a massive fear that somehow Callie will get dragged into the mess, forced to answer to lawyers and judges.

Your baby’s been traumatized enough already.

It’s why you decide on an answer that’s not the truth, but what you feel is best for your daughter. Once this is all said and done, you just want to put this all behind you and focus on your family.

Besides, there’s nothing else Mariah can do at this point, no lower she can stoop.

“No.” Even as it leaves your mouth, there’s a deep, nagging feeling that you’ve made the wrong decision not being honest with him. “She never said anything.”

—---------

“Is Dr. Sawyer available?”

Your voice is strong, firm, the exact opposite of everything you’ve felt over the past 48 hours. It’s a great display of fake confidence. 

The receptionist looks up with a surprisingly friendly smile. “I’m sorry, do you have an appointment or—”

“I’m an old friend. I really need to talk to him. It’s, uhh, it’s an emergency.” It may be a bit of a stretch to call your desire to get some questions answered an emergency, but you’ll say and do whatever it takes to get Kai’s attention. “Tell him it’s Y/N.”

She asks you to give her a few minutes, and you decide to take a seat in the waiting area. Pulling out your phone, you text Joe to let him know you’ve made it here and ready to text your mom when you suddenly remember.

That’s been the other hard part of this debacle. Going through one of the hardest things you’ve ever endured and not being able to talk to your mom about it. If you had to choose between her guidance and your daughter being put under her care, you’d go with the latter every single time.

But that doesn’t take way the sadness you have at not being able to talk to your own mother. 

“Y/N?”

Lifting your attention form your phone, you’re met with Kai Sawyer’s signature smile. 

He looks both surprised and relieved to see you.

“Hi. I’m sorry to bother you—”

“No. Not a bother at all.” He sits down on the seat opposite of you, and given the only couple people in the ER are on the other side of the waiting room, you decide this is a safe place to talk. “I’m actually happy to see you Y/N.”

There’s something wary about his tone of voice, like he’s hinting at something he won’t outright say. That’s when you remember the sole reason Kai was even inserted into your life again, and it hits you. “DCFS spoke to you, didn’t they?”

It makes all the sense. Callie was rushed to the emergency room and had to undergo emergency surgery. You’re certain her medical records are also being reviewed, that kind of incident standing out to investigators.

Kai might be aware of the anxiety that’s starting to grow and proceeds to explain. “Yes, and I told them it was absolute bullshit.” His face takes on a look of disgust and irritation. “That it’s been years since I’ve seen a child so deeply connected and bonded with a parent like I saw with you and Callie. Her appendicitis and subsequent surgery was completely happenstance, and you did everything right.”

His words bring tears to your eyes. You know you’re a good mom and did the best you could that night, but it means a lot that Kai would defend you so staunchly who are trying to determine just that. “Thank you, Kai.”

“I didn’t say anything that was a lie.” His expression is sympathetic. “I’m really sorry this is happening to you, Y/N. Do you have any idea who made the call?”

“That’s actually why I’m here.” You blot at your eyes, not wanting to test the hold of this waterproof mascara. “Do you remember when you told me you were happy I got away from Mariah and Amir?”

“Yeah, why?” His eyes widen with shock. “Wait, did they—“

“It was Mariah.” Swallowing, there’s a bit of an edge in your voice as you explain. “That’s why I’m here. I need to know just who the hell I’ve called a best friend all these years, so much so that I made her Callie’s legal godmother.”

“Whoa, I thought—-you were still friends with her after all these years?” You shake your head yes, and he looks truly apologetic. “I’m sorry, I just thought—”

“That I’d been smarter? Yeah, me too.” Aside from depression and apathy, you’re struggling with beating yourself up for not recognizing sooner what kind of person Mariah truly is. How your oblivion could be strong. “Please, tell me what you know.”

He blows out a deep breath and leans back into the chair. “Well, I mean there’s no easy way to say this, but Mariah and Amir have been messing around since we were in high school.”

Your stomach drops. 

That’s…..that’s not what you were expecting to hear.

In a whispered, pained voice, you ask, “what?”

He sighs and runs his hand over his face. “I don’t mean to get too personal, but I know it started around the time Amir was trying to pressure you into sleeping with him.” If not for the nature of the conversation, you’d find it a little adorable how he’s obviously trying his best to remain respectful. Kai has always been a genuinely decent guy. “He would constantly complain about you not ‘putting out’ around the locker room and during practice. And once he started hooking up with Mariah, he’d always brag about sleeping with the both of you.”

There’s so much to digest here. You’d figured Mariah and Amir were messing around after his slip around Christmas, but you figured it was a recent development. Now, you’re hearing that the girl you’ve considered a sister almost your whole life has been sleeping with the boy you once thought you loved from the very beginning?

“The times you couldn’t make it to parties, they’d be all over each other, but no one said anything because—”

“Because it was Amir,” you finish for him with a whisper. “He was the king of the school. No one would snitch on him, especially not his teammates.” You’re very familiar with the hierarchy and patriarchy of high school. You were the queen, just as much as he was the king, and everyone knew that you and Amir were always back and forth. They probably figured that you knew, or maybe they didn’t. You’re not so worried or stunned by just how many people knew and didn’t say anything. It doesn’t matter at this point.

What matters is that Mariah has always been a snake, a snake you brought around your child.

The child she got taken from you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t say anything either—”

“No, don’t. You didn’t owe me anything.” It’s the two people who claimed to love and care about you who should have been honest. “I should apologize to you for dragging you into that bullshit. I’m really sorry, Kai. You didn’t deserve that.”

“We were kids, Y/N. Didn’t know any better.” Kai is clearly as uninterested in an apology from you as you are from him. “I’m sorry if this is too personal, but are you and Amir still….”

“No.” Just the thought alone nearly has you back to retching into the nearest toilet. “We were on and off friends with benefits since, well, high school. Outside of when I was with Callie’s dad for three years, but now Joe and I are back together. Have been for months.” There’s a small hint of excitement, the first non-sad emotion you’ve experienced in the past two days as you inform, “Callie and I will be moving to Florida to live with him.”

“Good.” Kai seems genuinely happy and pleased to hear this. “Hell, as a man, I can imagine he’d get you both on a plane out of here today if he could.” A small, sad chuckle leaves your mouth at his words. He’s probably not wrong. “You should have been left this place, Y/N. You deserve better. Always did. Get out of here and have a fresh start.”

The encouragement isn’t required but deeply appreciated. His openness and honesty provide you with a slither of relief. The information shared is something you’ll have to process at a later date and time, but it does answer some necessary questions you needed answered.

There’s no doubt in your mind at this point that leaving is absolutely what you need to do.

You just need to get through this nightmare first.

[tricitymonsters]

Maybe because I’m an acts of service/gift giving and receiving love language girliepop but the emotional overwhelm I experience when reading about all of the intricate and detailed and lovingly considered and planned things Amir would do for MC legitimately makes me cry. It’s not just even that he has the means to do extravagant things that most people can’t, but the level of attentiveness and care I think knocks my socks off To have someone like Amir SEE you, and love you, and want to give you everything in his power to give makes me insane. I personally think the only thing I’d be able to get out between sobs would be “this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me” and “I love you” and “thank you”🥹How would he react to an MC who got really emotional about something like the “Celebrating MC’s Birthday” question you answered?

Augh i LOVE this take because like... okay a lot of times I think gift giving gets approached as really surface-level and sometimes shallow thing but to me, if someone went to lengths to learn about me and my interests to make a meaningful gift (even if it was small) that carries SO much weight!??!

I think Amir would brush off an emotional reaction (not unkindly) but he's very like of COURSE I have the means and of COURSE I know your favorite flower why wouldn't you expect 4 dozen of them when you wake up lol. He'd probably try to tease you a little to divert the gravity of the situation too- if this is too much perhaps his dinner plans might be excessive hohoho but ofc he'll never tell if you press him for details before he's ready to surprise you.

To him it's not really that much emotional labor to file away these details because he finds you/MC legitimately fascinating and someone he wants to spoil. And beyond that there's something to the See and Being Seen bit that drives Amir to go that extra step to provide something special.

He spends most of his time in a world where people horde wealth and spend it on novelty status items that are largely joyless. He sees MC as a refreshing break away from all that and in turn, feels like MC sees him as a real fleshed-out person and there's just something in that that makes him want to spend whatever it takes to make MC happy or feel special. Money has a lot of complex feelings that go with it but if he can make someone special happy with it then he's happy too.

[twisted-in-underland]

“You’ve never had a friend like me? Hehehe, I seem to get that a lot!”

Unique Magic:

Friend Like Me: By entrusting their lamp to another person - or “master” - Maram is able to access near cosmic powers. The spells must be made in the style of a wish by the “master” that Maram then fulfills. Due to the strength of the magic, Maram can only fulfil three “wishes” before to much blot is accumulated.

Info template belongs to @unfinished-projects-galore!

Side note: Maram is not a student at NRC or RSA, I’m just using the Scarabia template because it fits the aesthetic of the character in general 👍🏻

Other info: Concept sketch & information

[image updated due to unnoticed spelling errors]

(More info under the cut)

I know I said I was going to work on Yuri and Roma’s sprites…but Maram has been on my mind and I needed to get them in colour 🫣

For those who are new, Maram Grant is twisted from Genie from Aladdin and takes inspo from both animated and live action versions! I mention someone named “Ali” later on (like once lol), that’s my TWST!Aladdin; his full name is Amir Ali but he often goes by just “Ali” or “Al”.

Much of Maram’s basic info is available in the concept sketch post linked above, so I’m going to try to just clear up a few other things I’ve thought of.

~~~

Maram doesn’t attend traditional mage schools like NRC or RSA. I’m really leaning towards the idea that genies have their own schooling system. This is primarily because they use their lamps in place of mage stones. I imagine young genies start learning to control their magic early on through their parents (so they can attend elementary/middle school with other kids) and go through more structured learning in high school.

Genies primarily live in small communities like towns or villages similar to humans. Some communities are more nomadic than others and enjoy traveling around the Scalding Sands. The bulk of genie communities are located in the Scalding Sands, but there are some scattered communities in other areas of Twisted Wonderland. Maram claims her uncle lives somewhere in the Sunset Savannah, and that they have a friend who goes back to the Shaftlands when school is closed for breaks.

The big thing I wanted to touch on is that “Friend Like Me” isn’t technically a unique magic like what we’ve seen in game. This particular power is something all genies have access too, but because Maram is friends with a number of mages (i.e. Kalim, Jamil, and Ali) they decided to give the ability its own name. It’s just a little bit of Maram’s fun loving nature poking through.

Aside from the obvious risk of overblot when casting such powerful spells, there’s a lot of trust that goes into casting these spells. I mentioned in the concept post that to genies their lamps are everything to them; it’s how they monitor and recover from blot and they can act like little homes for the genies if they want. The big thing is that each genie revives a lamp and pair of bracelets when they’re young and is special to the individual. Genies can’t enter the lamps of another genie unless they’re given permission which is rare. The bracelets can be replaced if necessary as they’re closer to the concept of magical pens. The lamps, however, are nearly impossible to replace if lost or broken. Given the fact that the lamp has to be given to another person, there has to be a lot of trust between both parties.

Likewise, the genie has to be sure that the person they are entrusting their lamp too isn’t going to make any stupid “wishes”. This includes things that the genie could conjure up easily, without the need to access such powerful magic. The risk of overblot is not worth conjuring up money, food, clothes, etc. which they could normally do with ease

Ngl between Kalim and Jamil, Maram trusts Jamil with their lamp much more than Kalim. As much as they love Kalim’s friendship, Maram feels like Kalim would make an impulsive request out of excitement 😅

And just a silly little fact about Maram, they really like the colour blue and enjoy big Ol’ pants like jupe-culotte/harem pants.

And that’s all I wanted to clarify! Like always feel free to ask any questions, I’ll try to answer as best I can with what I have already figured out!

[diazpatcher]

7x09 my thoughts

"my resignation" WHAT BOBBY WHAT. this man needs extensive therapy bc why does he think he doesn't deserve good things.😭

Athena being the supportive wife she is. "Walking away from the 118" THOSE ARE YOUR KIDS

Edmundo noches is at it, with his ex dead wife's doppelganger 💀 the date is waaaaaaaaaaay to romantic for 2 people who aren't an official item.

Eddie baby no, you're not only emotionally cheating you are full on cheating bro 😭💀 pls let her be part of his mental breakdown.

Athena fighting for bobby even when bobby doesn't want to anymore:( Athena is such a great wife I can't fucking handle it.

Finally they talk about Bobby's struggles, of balancing his past and his present and the guilt he has😭 as much as I want retirement for the Grant-Nashes I don't want Bobby to leave 😭

Bobby is straight up evil, he wants to retire and before he does so, he takes care of every single person in his team "they're not the only kids you're raising Mother Hen"😭

BUCK is the Chef😭 BRO THE WAY HES ACTING MAKES ME THINK HES GONNA DIE😭

Buck and Eddie cooking together😭

Buck looking at Bobby the way a kid looks at their dad waiting for praise 😭 im not okay bro that whole sequence fucked me over. BOBBY😭 7 years😭 "here's to seven more" 😭 Their father son relationship makes me want to chew on glass 😭😭😭 "it's been my pleasure kid"

BUCK MEETS THE DOUBLE, OMG. THE WAY HIS FACE FELL😭 He is so fucking funny I can't 😭OH OH BUCK IS MAD. He used the Back door💀😭 The way he's trying to figure out if Marisol is still around lmao😭 "Eddie who's kim" HILARIOUS ACTUALLY. "Marisols my girlfriend, she just a friend" "a friend who's a dead wringer for your dead wife' OKAY BUCK😭 Buck has healed he is ready to confront and pull Eddie out of his ass. The way Eddie is trying to justify his actions, "does this poor woman know thay she is a carbon copy of your dead wife"

"Im worried about you" HUSBAND BEHAVIOUR 😭😭😭

The kids🥺🥺😭 Wilson-Han family is so special to me❤️ Chim knowing something is wrong with Bobby!!!

I knew that the Council woman was gonna be a bitch. I knew it.

I feel so bad for Kim. She got pulled into this mess it's insane. "But I'm not her" THIS POOR WOMAN. she knows Eddie just wants to replace Shannon with her 😭😭 heartbreaking. "which was not fair to you"

Hey anyways Eddie did that after buck talked to him even his break up with his ex wife's doppelganger is colored by the interactions with buck.

"I never meant to lead you on"

"but you did" 😭 "I guess she was the love of your life" STOPOP😭😭😭

Eddie should be talking about this with Frank 💀

"living happily in Florida with his husband" lmao💀 Okay either Amir is gonna help Bobby or he's gonna torch the place. oh he's gonna torch the place. right.

Mom and Dad are fighting 😭 oh god Athena is so desperate. She's trying so hard. "You're making your round to say goodbye" 😭 Athena still worrying about Bobby being suicidal. "And you're standing on the ledge of a building again, Bobby." 😭 I'm in shambles. somebody glue me back together.

Athena doesn't know about the Book...

"I threw it in the trash on the night of our first date." She gave him hope that he was worth something 😭.

Garica is a BITCH. idc what happened to her she's a bitch. Who is she to refuse Mara a home😭 just bc her idiot son refused treatment. They're ripping apart a family they don't give a shit. Fuck CPS. fuck those 2 especially. ripping Mara out of Karen's grasp what the fuck. Fuck this what the fuck.

WHAT. THE FUCK. IS KIM DOING. SHE GOT A HAIRCUT AND IS.WEARINF SHANNONS DR3SS???????? Eddie looks as horrified as I do. She's pretending to be Shannon IM GOING INSANE. Kim is so smart istg. "You have to let me go" 😭 She is doing the right thing but my god this is psychotic to watch 😭

Eddie finally FINALLy letting go of Shannon is so 😭 he deserves peace. Eddie breakdown era 2.0 let's go. he sounds like a little boy so scared and angry and hurt. CHRIS WALKING IN WITH MARISOL !!!

Bobby, Bobby??? bobby... oh. oh no. He is, he's drinking. Oh my god. he dreamed of his dad while HIS HOUSE IS ON FIRE. ATHENA!! he gets to save his family this time. BOBBY???? HE HAD A HEARTATTACK WHAT.

[duadaily]

dualipa: Last night I performed in my hometown, London at The Royal Albert Hall. Standing in the middle of that room, standing on the shoulders of giants who have performed there before me, the energy of last night will be forever be engrained in my heart. This has been something that i've been dreaming of putting together for so many years. I've always had the urge to reimagine my songs with an orchestral arrangement and who better to do it with than The Heritage Orchestra. I was spoilt with the best seat in the house. A 53 piece orchestra, a 14 person choir, a 7 person band and me in the middle of it all. An unbelievable night, i'm still pinching myself. Thank you to my team on stage and off for working so tirelessly around the clock. They are the most incredible and the most hardworking in the bizzz for helping me pull this together. Thank you to our conductor for the evening Ben Foster. Thank you to my wonderful, most glamorous friend Elton John for joining me on stage to sing our song together. The roars from the crowd last night I think reverberated throughout London. Thank you to everyone who came to join us last night for this very very very special evening. I feel like I could cry just writing this!!! I wanna do it again again again!!!!

❤️ THANK YOU ❤️ Peter Abbott - Creative Direction William Bowerman - Musical Direction Charles Monneraud - Musical Direction Asst. Chris Wheeler - Heritage Orchestra Charm La Donna - Choreography Sharon June - Choreography Asst. Jahleel Weaver - Styling Amir Dayi - Styling Asst. Lorraine Jones - Dresser Peter Lux - Hair Katie Jane Hughes - Makeup Michelle Humphrey - Nails Raeann Hayden - Styling (Dancers) Dukagjin Lipa, Sofia Gold, Joel Quartey, Jess Spink, Maisy Nicholson, Olivia Moss - Radical22 MGMT Permanent Press & Dawbell PR Fulwell 73 Productions

[awriterinacorner]

thanksgiving special 1

warnings- mention of starvation and isolation

this story is cannon, but doesn't have a solid time in the timeline.

Amir hated the harvest celebration. Every year he was forced to sit and watch his master's stuff their faces with food while he was starving. Whenever he asked if he could join in on the feast his masters told him that he had to watch his figure so he couldn’t eat too much food. Which meant he wasn’t allowed to eat anything at all that night. It wasn’t fair, he wanted to be able to enjoy the festivities as well. 

This year he expected it to be no different. Yes, this new master gave him meals daily but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t on a diet to keep his figure. That’s why he couldn’t finish any of the food. It's why he got so full so quickly, his master was giving him something to fill up. He just could never figure out what that was. 

“Bo, are you excited for tonight?” his master had spotted him on the couch and decided now was a great time for a conversation. Great.

“Of course sir, why wouldn't I be?”

“Because I know not all of your previous masters have given you the freedom to enjoy a harvest festival, and I want today to be special for you.” Now what did that mean? Was he actually going to be able to eat? He decided the best answer would be the most basic;

“Yes, of course sir.” his master's face fell. He had said something wrong.

“Do you not want to celebrate the festival? You can stay here if you want.” no, he wanted to see all the decorations and the vendors that this city has. That was his favorite part.

He shook his head but stayed silent. 

“Then what’s wrong Bo? You seem so upset.” 

“I'm fine sir, I promise.” his master wasn’t convinced. 

“But you seem so upset. Today is supposed to be happy and I want to make sure you’re having a good time." Amir contemplated telling his master about the food, but he didn’t want to seem accusatory. He decided to phrase it like a question. 

“Will I be able to eat, sir?” That was clearly the wrong question. His master's wings dropped, and they looked shocked.

“Of course you’ll be allowed to eat. Why would you think that you couldn’t?” they sat next to him on the small couch, and he shrunk away not wanting to be touched.

“Because I've never been allowed to eat at these festivals. It’s always been taken from me.” Amir's voice was shaking, like he was about to cry.

Theodore couldn’t believe it. Bo had never eaten at a harvest festival. He couldn’t puzzle out why, and Bo was clearly feeling too vulnerable to tell him, so it would remain a mystery. But today that would change. Theodore would make sure that Bo had the best harvest he could, and hopefully Bo would appreciate it. If not that's fine, they had had a hard enough time getting here and surviving. They didn’t need to appreciate every little thing.

“Well that’s not going to happen today. Today we are going to do every single harvest thing possible so that you can get the full experience. Ok?” Thedore smiled, trying to get Bo to feel comfortable responding again. 

“Ok.” they nodded as they spoke, and gave a weak smile. Today was looking up.

@idkwhattodowiththisaltiamsorry

[nectar-cellar]

more amir brainrot

i’m answering all the piping hot oc asks by nectargrapes for him bc umm i want to. i saw this as an ask game on my dash. well, nobody asked me for this. yet here we are. i love having fun!

reusing some old pics bc i don’t have time to take new ones

so if you want to learn way too much useless nsfw info abt him, continue reading below 😌

🔥 Piping Hot OC Asks 🔥

🥵 : Is your OC perceived as physically attractive to others? Is it at first glance or is it something that takes more time to reach fruition?

yes, he’s a pretty conventionally attractive guy. people tend to not compliment him on his looks though because he often has a serious expression on his face and he comes across as intimidating and unfriendly.

💦 : Is your OC’s attractiveness based on looks or a more intangible aura?

he has a reserved and serious personality which can be really attractive to someone who’s into the sexy brooding mysterious stranger kinda thing. from another perspective, he can seem awkward, closed off and unapproachable which can be a major turn-off to other people.

💪 : What is your OC’s most physically attractive attribute?

people find themselves captivated by his beautiful brown eyes when they talk to him! his height and broad shoulders definitely turn heads as well.

🧠 : What is your OC’s most mentally attractive attribute?

he has a really soft, caring and thoughtful side to him that can be really attractive to someone who has taken the time to get to know him well.

👀 : Does your OC believe they are attractive? Do they use that to their advantage?

he doesn’t think he looks anything special. to him, his appearance just is. sure, he can sense when someone is attracted to him. sure, he knows that being tall and muscular are conventionally attractive traits. but is he attractive? he would have a hard time seeing himself that way. by default, he assumes other people aren’t attracted to him. so no, using his looks to his advantage would be very out of character for him. he also doesn’t really think about whether other people find him attractive or not, he’s not someone who cares that much about his appearance or what other people think.

👃 : Does your OC smell good? Do they have a signature scent?

he smells like whatever $5 deodorant stick/spray you can find in the drugstore grooming aisle. the “sport” scent or the “fresh” scent. he doesn’t know who tom ford is or where the “eau de toilette” is.

👂 : Does your OC have an attractive voice?

he has a deep voice and he is rather soft spoken. his voice is also kind of monotone, he doesn’t have a very animated speech pattern. his voice could put someone to sleep, either from boredom or comfort lol

🚲 : Does your OC enjoy playing the field? Or are they more monogamy-minded?

amir is definitely more monogamy-minded. he does not like playing the field because he’s shy, has low self worth, and doesn’t find casual dating and hookups to be meaningful. he’s socially awkward and closed off and he wouldn’t like having someone’s attention on him, opening up to a stranger, and he doesn’t think someone would be impressed by him. he yearns for an emotional connection though, and he needs that in order for anything else to be enjoyable. he’s a hopeless romantic, he idealizes romantic relationships because they are so elusive, he just wants one relationship to be the relationship. he thinks of dating as like, if i can’t see myself marrying them in a few years, what is even the point of going on a date with them, it’d just be a waste of time!

😍 : What does your OC find irresistible in others?

he needs to be with someone who has similar values to him. he finds a kind heart to be an irresistible trait. he also loves someone who is openly affectionate towards him. he would have a hard time admitting that and asking for what he wants so he’d melt for someone who openly gives that to him. he’s also attracted to a damsel-in-distress type, it’s an insecurity and ego thing, he wants nothing more than to be someone’s hero, it’s like “even if i hate myself and think i’m worthless at least i can still make the person i love happy.” physically, he is attracted to femininity, he always thought he was straight but his attraction is much broader and it’s something about himself he continues to struggle to accept/have conflicting feelings about because of ✨ baggage ✨

💘 : Is your OC a very good flirt? Are they charming?

no, he has no game and in general he wants to be left alone. he only tries to be flirty and charming when he’s decided he likes someone and wants to seriously pursue them and knows they’d be receptive to his advances. he could never be that smooth talking playboy, life of the party type of guy.

💋 : Is your OC a good kisser? How do they do it?

he loooves kissing. he likes giving cute forehead and cheek kisses. in bed, he likes kissing his partner’s neck and down their chest, all over the body really, it’s like a physical way of expressing his strong desire for them. he’s a soft and sensual kisser but he’s not afraid to get nastier if that’s what his partner likes. 

🦴 : Does your OC have much sexual experience? What are they like?

he is not very experienced but he’s not insecure about it. he’s confident he could please someone if he put in the effort to do so. he also thinks it would be really meaningful to gain experience with his partner together, continuously learning each other’s likes and dislikes. he’s definitely seen his fair share of porn and he has kinks he’d like to explore if his partner was open to it. he’s more open-minded than he wants to admit! as long as he’s in love, he would be down to try a lot. he definitely likes to be romantic and soft in bed, vanilla would not be boring to him, the kinkier stuff would just be the cherry on top. 

💞 : Do they treat sex casually or do they view it as something with a lot of emotional weight?

he doesn’t judge other people for having casual sex but for him, sex holds a lot of emotional weight and it’s not something he would want to do with just anyone. a big part of why sex is enjoyable for him is the emotional connection with his partner and he just wouldn’t be able to reach that intensity with a stranger he doesn’t care about or has no future with.

🔥 : What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered?

nude photos will immediately set his imagination on fire.

🧸 : Into public displays of affection or are they more reserved?

he loves affection so he’s definitely into handholding and hugs and things like that even if he’s shy about it. he’d be so in his own little world with his partner that he wouldn’t even notice if other people were around.

💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?

something he would totally do is set up an outdoor movie date with a projector, big screen, hanging lights, a cozy blanket and pillows on the ground, a picnic basket full of food and wine, and a bouquet of flowers. or he would make his apartment all clean, set up candles and a record player, and cook his significant other a really good meal. for something more spontaneous, he’d pick up his significant other and go to a midnight diner for some greasy comfort food and then just have a late night drive, stop off somewhere quiet, and just talk and watch the stars.

💐 : What is their courting style? How would they woo someone?

he would find ways to spend time with them. he would muster up the courage to be direct like “hey, i want to see you, want to do ____ with me?” he’d put in the effort to plan dates. he’ll send and reply to texts consistently even though he’s not a big texter or social media user. he wouldn’t be super flirty or anything but he’d give that person his full attention and he’d make it obvious he was interested. he’ll notice and remember every little detail about that person and basically burn them into his memory and think about them constantly which would translate into him being really attentive and almost clingy.

👙 : What kind of underwear do they use? Is it pretty or functional?

functional 😭 he wears athletic undies for working out or he buys those affordable 4-6packs you can get at costco/walmart/etc. you know the ones where you get a pair of grey, navy, and black each. he has no one to impress, he gets zero bitches anyways.

[flames-tstuff]

MAGNUS CHASE TK HEADCANONS

Not sure where this came from but here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️ disclaimer: I haven't read these books in like five years so these are solely based off of what I remember about the characters and their dynamics 😅

Magnus

Actually finds it kinda fun despite his (supposed) aversion to touch

BUT. he is MUCH too embarrassed and too deep in denial to ever be able to admit to it

Easily flustered—both by giving and receiving—though he tries to play it off like it's no big deal

Too sensitive for his own good! Ticklish all over but if you target his ribs specifically he will probably die (again)

JUMPY

The others gang up on him if he starts getting too angsty or too in his own head

Usually targeted by Blitz or Alex

Often too shy to initiate anything but when he does it's usually playful little pokes

Can't say The Word

Snorts if you catch him by surprise—otherwise it's bouts of poorly suppressed giggling that everyone finds very endearing <3

Snarky ler

Will usually only initiate with Blitz and Hearth. He knows starting something with Alex or Sam is a death sentence (though he will retaliate if one of them started it).

Alex

Enjoys it on occasion but usually just likes to pester her friends with it

She has to really trust you if she's allowing you to get within a five-foot radius of her

.....and good luck trying to catch her and keep her down long enough to tickle her without losing a limb

If you do somehow manage to get her, it's all cackles and squeals (+ lots of cursing)

Loves a good fight! She enjoys it more when it's play or has some competitive component to it. It's all about the thrill of the chase!!! (no pun intended)

Loves to tease and torment Magnus and gets immense satisfaction from his embarrassment from it

Has no problem saying The Word (and ofc loves to use it against Magnus)

Typically would prefer the rougher play, but she too is not immune to the power gentle touch

Receiving gentle, affectionate touch is outside of her frame of reference (*sob*) so having her hair played with or getting a massage from a friend is simultaneously heaven and hell

Samirah

(This is assumed to be post-marriage when she can be in contact with Amir. The others are considered family and therefore are in the clear.)

Like Magnus, very sensitive and also a bit shy when it comes to the subject

Doesn't usually like to be touched

She does, however, like to use it as a tactic for cheering up Alex (she's probably the only safe one to do so lol)

Targeting her will also put your life at risk (unless you're Amir... and even then you're on thin ice)

Devastatingly fast fingers

Doesn't see an issue with The Word

Will help destroy Magnus if the others have started it and need the extra help

The Queen of teases

Hearth

Mostly indifferent but doesn't mind it

Mildly sensitive; definitely not as bad as some of the others in the group

Gentle touches will put him to sleep, though—anywhere is a melt spot if you're gentle enough lol. just putty in your hands

Ears, under the chin, and feet are especially sensitive

Be careful though because he WILL ragdoll if you get him good enough

Likes to tease Magnus and Blitz the most

Doesn't have a very wide variety of teases in ASL but that does not matter..... the look he gives you is enough

The knowing smirk, the playful glint in his eyes, the wiggling fingers.......

Those long, thin, gentle fingers are KILLER

He's a kicker if you plan to target him so you better steer clear of those long legs

The friends that do get him from time to time try to keep from restraining his arms or hands so that he can still sign

His cheeks and ears flush a greenish hue when he's embarrassed or flustered (a rare occurance, but it's that much more special if you do get to see it)

If you somehow are able to crack the stoic exterior, you will be rewarded with the most adorable wheezy laugh with eyes and nose scrunched tight in resistance

Blitz

Gremlin switchhhhh. The switchiest of all.

An absolute force of chaos, both as a lee and as a ler

Feisty! He plays a bit rougher (if he knows you can handle it)

Loud, boisterous laughter. Incredibly contagioius

He can actually say The Word, though he does get mildly embarrassed from it

A Big Meanie (affectionate) to Magnus and Alex but is a little gentler with Hearth

He will almost never target you if he's in his regular nice clothes... there's no way he's gonna risk getting them dirty or torn

But if he's in casual/comfy clothes (still looking dope as hell ofc) or in battle gear you better watch out

And heaven forbid you start something with him while he's in his nice clothes. Because you are TOAST the next time he gets a chance

Sooo so fun to play around with (and unlike with Alex or Sam there is not a risk of dying :,)

[orgyupdates]

CrypticRock.Com reviews Candyass and Vapor Transmission's release on vinyl.

At the height of Nu-metal’s popularity when bands like Korn, Limp Bizkit and Slipknot were leading as a massive charge, something rather unique also arose in the form of Orgy. A band vastly different from their contemporaries, Orgy’s sound certainly fit more comfortably in the Industrial Metal realm, but still, was in a league of its own. Self-described as Death Pop, if you were a fan of ’80s Synthwave, mixed with modern Alternative Metal, no matter the title you want to use, you were bound to love Orgy.

Initially forming in 1997, Orgy would go on to become the first band signed to Jonathan Davis’ Elementree Records; which at the time had distribution with Reprise Records. A partnership where few knew what would happen… there were a few fun facts about the members of Orgy that should not be noted. First, you had Lead Vocalist Jay Gordon; who in fact co-produced Coal Chamber’s 1997 self-titled debut. Second, you had Guitarist Amir Derakh; who had earned some notoriety as a member of ’80s Metal act Rough Cutt. And last, by not least, you had Guitarist Ryan Shuck; who was a part of the band Sexart… where he would play alongside future Korn vocalist, Jonathan Davis.

With plenty of more intriguing aspects surrounding Orgy’s cast individually, when joined together, by August of 1998 they were set to take on the world with the release of their debut album Candyass. Released on August 18th of that year, the album picked up momentum and found an audience within just a few months; thanks in part to an appearance on the Family Values Tour in the fall, alongside Korn, Limp Bizkit, Incubus, and Rammstein. Somewhat of a key moment in history of Orgy, what would follow would be the release of their impeccable cover of New Order’s “Blue Monday” that December, thus leading to even more broader popularity. In fact, you could argue that “Blue Monday” served as a gateway for audiences to see how special Orgy was; soon leading to even more attention drawn to the single “Stitches.” So, where did this unpredictable rise lead? It led to Candyass attaining platinum status, hitting Number 1 on Heatseekers charts, on its way to becoming one of the late ’90s most beloved Metal leaning records.

Truly an inspiring story of success, matching Orgy’s musical attack was a stylistic appearance that unified ’80s New Wave fashion, Glam Rock, all with a sweet little Gothic twist. Something that enticed many, the promotional images out at the time (on press posters, etc.), immediately made you feel like you were transported into a subculture of something far out of this world. A fascination that stirred around well into the new millennium, it was in October of 2000 when Orgy plotted another impact with their highly anticipated follow up, Vapor Transmission. An album that had massive buzz surrounding it – and more than likely one that placed a ton of pressure on the band themselves – Vapor Transmission delivered in many facets of the word. Very much a continuation of the trajectory Orgy began with Candyass, the new album featured a delightful collection of tunes that solidified that they were not a novelty act, but one with significant abilities, both as songwriters and atmosphere creators. Evident with tracks such as “Fiction (Dreams in Digital),” “Eva,” and “Opticon,” Vapor Transmission would peak at 16 on the Billboard 200 and eventually attain gold status.

A more than respectful way to follow up Candyass (an album which has attained platinum status), to Orgy’s dedicated following, Candyass and Vapor Transmissions are essential listens… even over two decades later. More than likely two albums which survived the physical format purge many music fans partook in at the onset of digital downloading, leading into the streaming age, both CD formats remain fixtures in many collections. This in mind, it comes with great excitement in 2024 to learn that both Candyass and Vapor Transmission have been re-released in a vinyl format. Arriving on February 2nd, the two new releases through Real Gone Music are fit with some interesting details that make them even more compelling to look into.

First and foremost, the obvious selling point here is that Candyass is now available in the vinyl format for the first time ever. Beyond this, each album is remastered and pressed in a pretty eye-gazing way. For Candyass, the remastering (done by Mike Milchner of Sonic Vision) is fresh, bright, and crisp. Something that makes for a lovely listening experience, making it pop even more is a high quality 180 gram clear with red and yellow swirl pressing; or fire orange color if you go to Best Buy. Really nicely done, it is also presented in a grand gatefold packaging with all the original art.

Then, for Vapor Transmission, you also get a remastered copy (done by Milchner as well), but this time including “The Spectrum.” A bonus, originally “The Spectrum” was exclusive to the first 1,000 copies of the CD edition put out all the way back in 2004; that was until the digital release of it in December of 2020. A really cool bonus for collectors, Vapor Transmission is also given a color treatment pressing; this time in red and yellow “plasma,” or purple swirl if you go to Best Buy. Matched with pristine sound, as well as the original art in a gatefold package, it is the perfect sidekick to the Candyass re-release.

Overall, when looking at the journey of Orgy – past, present, and future – Candyass and Vapor Transmission are pinnacle points in time. Aware of this history and recognizing it, Orgy (currently led by Jay Gordon, along with a lineup of Bassist Nic Speck, plus Guitarists Carlton Bost and Ilia Yordanov) are set to tour April into May celebrating 25 years of Candyass. A run that kicks off on April 11th, before ending May 25th, they will co-headline with Cold on each of the dates. With that, the next question many might ask is – when can we expect a new, proper Orgy album? While that remains to be seen, they have put out several stand alone singles over the last decade since 2015’s Talk Sick EP. So, only time will tell what is next for Orgy in the way of a new album. Thankfully there is a tour, plus these two new must have vinyl edition releases of both Candyass and Vapor Transmission.

2024 Orgy Tour Dates: 4/11/2024 – Chicago, IL – The Bottom Lounge 4/12/2024 – Flint, MI – The Machine Shop 4/13/2024 – Des Moines, IA – Lefty’s Live Music 4/14/2024 – Sioux City, IA – The Marquee 4/16/2024 – Colorado Springs, CO – The Black Sheep 4/17/2024 – Denver, CO – Marquis Theater 4/19/2024 – Seattle, WA – Madame Lou’s 4/20/2024 – Portland, OR – Bossanova Ballroom 4/22/2024 – Sacramento, CA – Harlow’s 4/23/2024 – West Hollywood, CA – Whisky a Go Go 4/24/2024 – Fresno, CA – Fulton 55 4/25/2024 – Santa Ana, CA – The Observatory 4/26/2024 – San Diego, CA – Brick By Brick 4/27/2024 – Scottsdale, AZ – Pub Rock Live 4/28/2024- Albuquerque, NM – Launchpad 4/30/2024 – Austin, TX – Come And Take It Live 5/1/2024 – San Antonio, TX – Paper Tiger 5/2/2024 – Dallas, TX – Trees 5/3/2024 – Houston, TX – Scout Bar 5/4/2024 – Shreveport, LA – Strange Brew 5/6/2024 – New Orleans, LA – House of Blues 5/7/2024 – Tallahassee, FL – Legacy At The Riverfront 5/8/2024 – Fort Lauderdale, FL – Revolution Live 5/9/2024 – Daytona Beach, FL – Welcome to Rockville @ Daytona Speedway 5/10/2024 – Greenville, SC – Radio Room 5/11/2024 – Knoxville, TN – The Concourse 5/12/2024 – Greensboro, NC – Hangar 1819 5/14/2024 – Mechanicsburg, PA – Lovedraft’s 5/15/2024 – Clifton, NJ – Dingbatz 5/16/2024 – New York, NY – The Gramercy Theatre 5/17/2024 – Allentown, PA – Maingate Nightclub 5/18/2024 – Boston, MA – Brighton Music Hall 5/19/2024 – Baltimore, MD – Baltimore Soundstage 5/21/2024 – Syracuse, NY – The Song & Dance 5/22/2024 – Warrendale, PA – Jergel’s 5/23/2024 – Covington, KY – Madison Theater 5/24/2024 – Columbus, OH – The King of Clubs 5/25/2024 – St. Paul, MN – Turf Club

[papabearbobbynash]

I agree with being disappointed that it’s shaping up to look like Amir may be out for vengeance. I mean, I understand from a certain point of view but feel like we could have done this in so many other, better ways to introduce Bobby’s backstory to new viewers. Hoping the preview was a misdirect. I’m also confused on the pacing of this storyline. Bobby out in the desert with a knife to his throat seems like a cumulation of the storyline but this is Amir’s second episode? Seems like it should be his third episode so it could be a cliffhanger and this final episode would wrap it up so this has me hopeful it won’t be what we expect. This season has had a lot of unexpected moments so we’ll see where it goes. Either way, I’m still so excited for Peter and Malcolm-Jamal to share scenes because these two powerhouses are about to knock every scene out of the park.

Hi, anon. I hope my initial reaction don't mislead people into thinking i'm not excited to see PK and MJW acting together, i know they will deliver it well what they receive. Even if what they receive might anger me. Like you, i think there were way better way of introduce this to the viewer. I might be reading too much onto it, but since this is what we seem to be getting, i think the writers intend to it being harsh and shocking because there is no way of minimizing the consequences of that night in Bobby's perspective. You see, the bomber was something everyone was unaware of it being related to Bobby until all clicked together, and we barely got any emotional aspect of Bobby explored because the plot went another way once Buck got hurt. This time we will have Bobby actively going after exploring this haunting part of his past so he can make amends. And we already know this man did not forgive himself for that night. However i just wish the writers don't go for a revenge attempt. Instead make a civilized point of discussion. Because it's really easy for the audience to side with a fav who they know and who they've seen dealing with the emotional baggage of it. Even if Amir's anger is perfectly understandable and human. The man was probably living day after day, and suddenly the root of his nightmares popped up in his workplace and sent him on a big ass spiral, specially because to him that root is living happily after all the damage it caused.

Like what will be discussed and balanced in a "possible" under threat situation? Only the trauma, rage and loss will be present, for both of them, at least this is what the preview alludes to me. Like this is complex and i'm just not sure how this can help on healing for either of them... And don't even get me started on the body bag bts, because if this ends on Amir killed i will be certain the intention is either to shock the audience or to sent Bobby to spiral because there is no way Bobby wouldn't face this as himself watching a literal consequence of his mistakes once again, Amir forgiving him or not. Hope this wasn't confusing, i feel like my mind is all over the place with this storyline ahshdgfg

[times-of-drought]

happy sts :]

in s.and.n how did you decide which domains the gods would have?

writblr: @vsnotresponding

Pure vibes for most of them, but some of them are more thought out. Basically, mostly, the names were first, later on I assigned them the domains.

Usually it had to do with either what the letter reminded me of, the whole sound and vibes of the name or I thought what domains I want to have and which names fit with them.

From some more notable ones:

Ksy's letter doesnt have a sound associated with it. I call it the null'letter. So that fits a god of Nothingness!

Szekh is a special case because its an existing word already. At first I just knew that Sz will need to be the letter of the "most important" god, while determining names for letters I thought it will be fun if one of the names is just the name of the species. I think that fits, the people named themselves after the progenitor god, highest authority. The word itself has always been a source of pride, a designator of superiority, so it only fits. (Btw sz is pronounced like sh in sharp. I always worry that people may struggle with my very polish-influenced spelling, I should make a terms reading guide or something XD)

Cseni, god of Silence's name, is similiar to the word I had in my word list for Silence, so naturally the domain followed.

Hal and H''et are fun, because h and h'' are very similiar in writing. I wanted to have two domains that are intrinsically linked and Life and Death fit nicely!

Dzendz is Technology because Dz as a sound reminds me of progress and electronics ??????????

R''amir'' is Killing and War because r'' makes me think of violence.

Djoda is similiar to dioda, which is used as a word for a led light (kinda), so sun and light are fitting!

Kalik, basically trickster god, is named like a very old character, Karigan. He was the first named Szekh, he was from the medieval era. He was a magician. He was subject of an assasination plot. He went into hibernation in a coffin-like prison cell and got awoken in the 21st century. He loves humans. He had to figure out a phone. He was still technically a Lord so he had a claim to rule a region. Nobody wanted him to do so, though. When he was sleeping szekh were almost exterminated by an unknown force and he has to figure out what happened. Fun stuff. A lot of things from his storyline were removed or changed, so I at least honoured him in form of Kalik's name

Pi reminded me of religion, maybe because of the word Piety, subconciously? I also knew that the god of religion and ritual just has to be also a god of blood.

What's funny is that Groggs is god of Alcohol was a completely accident XD I think I must've known subconciously, but yeah

[tricitymonsters]

Just something in my brain that made me happy and bittersweet. Amir is beautiful and many people see him, but it seems that MC SEES him. I don't think he's felt that in awhile. I just wanna give him a hug.

AUGH this is definitely related to my last ask fr!!

I absolutely think most people see Amir for what he wants them to see him as- a pretty indulgence if they care to make an investment, someone who will bring them a modicum of status, etc etc- but these are both pretty dehumanized takes. Of course, it's to Amir's benefit that he markets himself like this but I do think he pays a toll psychologically as he goes through life letting people treat him like a fancy novelty toy that's barely sentient or vapid arm candy who has to play a lot stupider and less opinionated than he really is.

Amir's got pretty thick walls around his heart but MC seeing him first and foremost as a person helps get through a lot of his Showy Facade to his gooey core that he keeps away from basically everyone else. I don't think he's opened up to anyone in a long, long, LONG time and that's what makes his relationship with the MC so special. He's open with his body right away but for MC to get his past out of him? I don't think he's told that story in its entirety to anyone since it happened.

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 86 - The Big Day, Part 2

Hilary: Friends, family, loved ones, we are gathered here tonight to celebrate the union of Ophelia Marie Lemon and Alexander Amir Pappas. We are all here to support this commitment of love and to share the joy of Ophelia and Xander as they choose to spend their lives together.

Hilary: A true marriage begins well before the wedding day, and the efforts of marriage continue well beyond the ceremony. It takes a lifetime of love, commitment, and compromise to make marriage durable and everlasting.

Hilary: With this wisdom – and your love - in mind, I now ask you: Alexander, do you welcome Ophelia to be your wife, and your cherished best friend?

Xander: I do.

Hilary: Ophelia, do you welcome Alexander to be your husband, and your cherished best friend?

Ophelia: I do.

Hilary: The bride and groom will now recite their vows.

Xander takes a deep breath.

Xander: I've been known to make jokes when I'm nervous, and if I didn't have these vows memorized to a tee, this would turn into a stand-up comedy special. Where do I even begin?

Xander: When I first laid eyes on you, I knew there was something special about you. I just didn't know how much you walking into Taste of Tartosa's bar would change my life. I've always dreamed of being a master mixologist, but you've given me so much more to dream about.

Xander: Having you in my life has made me want to strive for so much more. You make me want to be a better man every day. I promise to give you the life you deserve, and when you're a world-famous musician, I promise to stay in shape so I can be your trophy husband.

Xander: I love you with all my heart, Lemon Cake, and I'm honored you've chosen me to spend the rest of your life with. I might be a goofball, but I take that honor seriously. I'll do anything and everything within my power to make you happy for the rest of our days.

Hilary needs a minute to collect herself.

So does Ophelia, she's just a lot better at hiding it.

Ophelia: Xander, this past year had a lot of ups and downs. You've been my shoulder to cry on, my rock. I couldn't ask for a better Sim to make my partner in this crazy save file called life. I promise to always be your rock, and support you just as much as you've supported me.

Ophelia: I don't believe in someone "completing" you. I was always a whole person, and so were you, but I truly believe you being in my life has made me a better person. I don't know who I'd be without you, and I don't want to know. I love the person I am when I'm with you.

Ophelia: I always thought becoming famous would be my key to happiness, but no, it was you. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to be famous, but it would mean nothing without you by my side. I love you, Xander, and you loving me back is worth more than any Starlight Accolade.

Time to exchange the rings!

Hilary: By virtue of the authority vested in me by The Watcher and The Simerican Marriage Ministries, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Alexander, you may kiss your bride.

Out of all the times these two have kissed, today of all days is the day they bonk heads.

They both grip their heads in pain while Ophelia lets out a groan, which really concerns Xander.

Xander: Sweetie? Are you okay?

Xander: I'm so sorry, I should have been more careful.

Xander breathes a sigh of relief when Ophelia uncovers her face and he sees she's smiling.

Ophelia: Only we could manage to goof up a kiss.

Xander: That's my Lemon Cake.

Hilary: She's okay, everyone!

Xander: How about we give it another try?

Ophelia's still a little dizzy, but she really wants her kiss.

Ophelia: Surely we can't bonk heads two times in a row.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒

Presenting, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Lemon!

Ophelia: Are you crying?

Xander: No, I'm just allergic to feelings.

Ophelia: You doof.

Xander: Well, you're the one who married a doof!

Ophelia: Wouldn't have it any other way.

[nasirofmanderlys]

THE MYTHS OF HOUSE MANDERLY; THE CURRENTS OF THE SEA: @manaliimanderly // @amirofmanderlys / @zaidamanderly

With a history as old as the Mander herself, House Manderly has always shared a special connection with the sea. From their founder who was saved from drowning by the most beautiful mermaid, whose singing brought him back and locked eyes with her before her departure back into the Mander.

Spending his days and nights at sea looking for her, she came to him once more when he floated in a rowing boat looking over the water. She came up from the water, pushing her hair back and promised to meet him, that he would see her when the biggest star (the moon) showed it's full size.

Under the light of a full moon, he met her on the shores of the Mander where she walked onto land, giving up her life as a mermaid for the rest of her days. Maesters discount this tale as fantasy while the Manderlys swear by their truth. In the North where Wisdoms write history, there is no question about the truth behind the found of House Manderly and their Merling blood. It is the belief of Wisdoms that great house are great for more than coin, they were chosen and exist as they are meant to exist.

Traditionally, the Manderly family has been said to hold a special bond with the seas around them. The tale started when the mysterious Manderly overreach happened and they were exiled from the Reach. It is said hundreds, thousands in some tales, of merpeople walked from the Mander and left with the Manderlys. This tie to the sea is show in their bloodlines strong ties.

THE POWERS OF THE SEAS:

When Lord Nasir Manderly in the sea it takes longer for him to feel freezing temperatures, where most men and women would die in such temperatures it is not so for the Manderly Lord. This was discovered when Manal fell through a frozen lake and Nasir jumped in and pulled her out without issue as historically it is difficult to swim back to the original hole one swam through. He has the additional ability feel currents and dangerous undertows. There are many times when Nasir will stop swimming and redirect everyone.

Lady Manal Manderly holds a genuine connection with the water, she plays the piano quite well but when she sings on the deck men have sworn something happens. The water becomes eerily still. It's not uncommon for those on deck to ask her to sing when they take to ships to travel.

Lord Amir Manderly has the ability to hold his breath for an abnormal amount of time. His crew praises his ability to control the seas so well, like the waters move with him. While you have places where men would frown upon such a young commander, Lord Amir Manderly is appreciated and respected high among his men.

Lady Zaida Manderly felt drawn to the water, so maybe wherever it is, she instinctively feels it’s presence and is drawn to it, and when she peers into it, she swears she can feel the presence of her loved ones calling out to her, a sense of their relative well-being or where they are at that moment — a kind of instinctual clairvoyance/scrying. She also seems to be able to draw sea creatures close to her, the most common being seals.

[schlagerkopf]

Ableben

On paper, I’m supposed to despise Naftaly Bennett, very much so. But I don’t. I think he’s a solid dude. His external look gives me some kind of chill vibe. He’s got that Cheshire cat look. He’s the type of person I want to dance with, soaked in sweat, in a wedding or a big event.

Maybe it’s not Bennett I should despise, but his manager – the genius who came up with the elections slogan “Something new is happening”. This insanely transmittable slogan that showed on buses and other random places I’ve been and went these last few months has kept reminding me that terrible moment in which I was given the bad news that “something new is happening”.

It happened today exactly one year ago. Friday night, 15th of June 2012. I was 26, two months and four days. Lying on my bed, my old N95 phone from 2007 was stuck to my left ear. My airconditioner was making noises of working, hardly making anything cool – I wasn’t cool in any way, not the situation, not me. On the Friday night news in the living room, my parents were watching the panelists laughing about something, while I was slowly dying in my sinking bed. The room was lit only by the hour on the digital counter on the TV cable transmitter – eternalizing the hour in which love died. I won’t be 100% true if I will argue it is exactly what she said – “something new is happening”. Maybe it was “something is beginning”. Her stream of words continued without pause, her voice sounding as if she is a little unsure, trying not to hurt – but knowing how much it hurts, how much pain it brings about.

“He’s not sleazy, he’s really sweet”.

And then started my elegant pleas for another chance:

“I love you”

“Give love another chance”

“Please”

And the likes.

That also had a pretty built-in response, that was pretty much based around “too little, too late”.

“It’s over Amir, you do not hear how many ‘No’s’ I’m giving you in this conversation”.

Then: “Good luck in the exams”.

That’s it. Alles ist vorbei. I’m left alone, shocked, crying like a baby with my old ass phone, while everyone’s already got smartphone, and she’s probably going to kiss him and do other deeds that I will never ever do again with her in this dimension.

She tapped that long red thingy on iPhones to end the convo. For me it was a simple “END” button. And when they were hit, that’s it, it was over. One year and ten months. 18 months overall. 547 days. And that’s it. A little button is pressed, a little dance of a finger, and we turn from actuality to history. A notable part of two people’s lives has ended. One, as it seems, only wants to forget it. The other, good god, a 26 year old and 4 months man, crying like a baby.

  Yeshayahu Leibowitz was an Israeli public intellectual who said interesting things. On one show in 1994 he was asked if he missed old Israeli politicians, from the age of those who built up and founded Israel. He answered with his special accent that hints he was not born in Israel himself, that he does not understand the question.

“I do not understand the question. What does it mean to miss a person?”

The person who asked the question tried to sharpen, resulting in Leibowitz simply saying:

“All of these – they were right for their hour. And we are dealing in this hour”.

I watched this some sad evening and it lifted me up immensely. Here’s a role model. What is it to miss someone, at all? What good does it do? It helps nothing, it’s not constructive. What was once, was. What matters is now.

If Leibowitz indeed didn’t miss anyone, he was a superhero of sorts, and the strongest one. Superman can fly, yeah, sure, but doesn’t he miss someone? And Spiderman? Doesn’t Batman miss his parents?

Missing is my kryptonite. It makes me weak. Especially when I am in my bed, full of memories and so empty, and especially if it happens in a late-night hour.

Missing is a sort of alchemy. It’s not something real, existing, it’s not something you can touch or smell. Mine is the worst kind of longing. It’s for something that was but isn’t. I believe the Portuguese call it “Saudade”. You can miss your friend but you know you’ll see them next week. And you can miss your lover, knowing you’ll never see them again.

  It’s hard to write about breakups. I wrote her a letter two weeks after the breakup. It was six pages and I’ve included some chocolate and a flower. It didn’t help. Because writing about breakups is futile, in a sense.

It’s hard to write about breakups because seemingly there isn’t much to say. I mean, yeah, ok, there is, but what will I say? It’s a paradox seeing that I’m in the midst of writing a long piece about breakups. It also doesn’t go with the fact that if it weren’t for breakups, most music we would be listening to nowadays would be instrumental. So, let’s agree that there’s a lot to say about breakups but at the same time there isn’t – life is complicated like that. I can say that I am hurting so much but how will I transmit this pain to you, the reader? The longing, the pain, the regret, the heaviness on the chest at 2am, when you wake up from a dream where she still loves you, and you realize reality is here and she doesn’t anymore. She used to, a lot, but no anymore. No more “good morning” text messages.

And what can you say anyway? “Time heals”. “Many fish in the sea”. I spent all of summer 2012 depressed in my room, what a waste. Sleeping on the pillow she bought me for my 25th birthday. A 90s boombox she once found and gifted me on a random morning where we said goodbye with a kiss, five months before she dropped the bomb on me – if to quote the Gap Band.

On the morning of June 5th 2012, after she spent the night over at my place, we just kissed and she got into her car and left to work. It was just another goodbye. How was I to know it was the last one ever? That it’s the last time I ever see her? The last time I see her in a world where she loves me? In a world, in a galaxy, where she has love for me in her loving heart? I thought about this moment for so long, about our last kiss – not knowing it is our last kiss. Maybe she knew already? Just a kiss and she left. I was clueless. Like I always am.

  In university, I studied about Martin Heidegger the philosopher. The professor talked about a word in German named “Ableben”. Like many others in Deutsch, it has many meanings, one of them is “Came to an end.

I see the word as the following: “An idea that came to an end. An idea that died. The idea that was between her and me, love, has come to an end. Suddenly, one side decided it is over, and the other side must deal with that.

And that’s something I learnt about breakups in the sad year that I had since she said the words that ended up meaning “it’s over”. Breakups are TOTAL. That is why they are so hard to accept, why it’s so hard to let go. If you don’t accept the breakup you’re not in tune with reality. But reality doesn’t ask you. It’s a madness, like The Stranglers called it in their song “La Folie”. It’s crazy to think and cry about someone all the time, dedicating all that brain power to someone who, maybe on a good day, dedicates you two neurons. Why don’t you do something better with your time? It’s like dancing on a grave.

And here is the realness of “Ableben”. It’s not like somebody died. It’s an idea that died. It’s so abstract. No more good morning and night texts. No more emails that come in the right time in the middle of the day, filling you with love and hope. No more I love you’s, no more kisses and hugs. This all came to its bitter sad end at a certain moment.

I thought a lot about the moment in which love dies. I understand it’s a long process, stopping to love someone who you love dearly. You don’t stop loving in one second. But it feels like it’s some epiphany, some inner switch that you go to sleep loving Amir and you wake up not loving Amir anymore. And it’s so hard for me to fathom how you can stop loving someone you’ve shared so much with, that you were such close friends and lovers.

And it’s crazier that I lover her still, as I write these lines. Of course, not as strongly as I loved her last year, but I still love her. I’ll always love her, even if I don’t know who she is right now, she’s changed. I can feel closer to the woman in the grocery shop than her. And even though I am mad at her and understand that breakups exist and it’s part of life. I still can’t understand how you do that to someone who you call a friend. I stopped caring about the singing of the birds in the morning, and that’s the greatest loss.

And the memories, my my, the memories. They keep playing. It’s like self-torture. Some streets I won’t dare walk through in Tel-Aviv. The bench from August 2010 here we kissed on our first date. When something new was happening and nothing was ending. I still miss her and who she is and what we were. Our long hugs every time we met. And I regret my actions that led her to another’s arms. And still I bite my lips whenever I pass by that garden where we shared our first kiss and look at the empty bench and grass and try to understand that feeling that is so amorphic, knowing that something is dead and that something else, new, has begun, and that new thing is the most beautiful thing in the world but you’re not part of it, you’re dead in the water; for me the new thing died, and I continue staring at the “Game Over” screen.