#but ‘actually there is nothing wrong with being gnc in the first place and in fact many people find you hot af’

[hanktalkin]

Okay I had A Thot. Isabela finding out basically the whole barracks is butch4butch, and simply cannot wrap their head around the fact they find Aveline like the pinnacle of female beauty. But Im also kind of split because this theoretical fic could be

From Isabela’s perspective. Maybe working out some of her issues.

Partially from Aveline’s perspective? Because also a core about this is that Aveline doesn’t believe she’s desirable either, or at the very least fundamentally doubts it to the point Isabela can drive a dagger into that one weak point for years upon years. So like, I don’t want to have it be Isabela both be the one who reaffirms her and the source of her low self esteem in the first place, per their act 3 conversation. Can my girl get a little external validation please?

I think. That no one avebela fic has quite scratched the itch for me because theres plenty where aveline needs to work out her issues to be a worthwhile partner (or even just a decent fuck buddy) to isabela but i’ve yet to see anything tackling isabela’s butchphobia/general hatred of gender nonconformity. Which i feel. Has to be something she’s challenged on in order to be similarly good partner to aveline

[velvetvexations]

I did not mean to sleep all day. Here all the non-kink asks in my inbox lol.

Does a little dance. People being weird about transmascs on here has messed up my self perception so bad im not actually sure of my own gender anymore, yayyyyy

Fuck that anon, if you're man that rules. Being a man is awesome. You don't need anyone else's opinion to affect who you are, there is no bad gender.

just saw someone acknowledge trans men are often lumped into female spaces due to bioessentialism but then turn around and say that thats proof that trans men arent oppressed. lol.

People act like being let into the Woman Club is the one and only goal of being trans and it's so fucking annoying.

Ngl I still don't understand why femboys are a "transmisogynistic caricature that can't be reclaimed by transmascs" according to some people. Do you have any insights on this because I genuinely can't understand, femboy sounds like gnc boy culture and in my own experience, maybe transfems before they come out occasionally identify as femboys. Idk is it like, someone with an outwardly feminine appearance being a guy? Because that's why I like calling myself a femboy.

Some people think femboy started as a transfem thing because they're idiots who don't know shit.

hey if catboy is ubiquitous and having nothing to do with crossdressing why did Jerma crossdress when someone drew him as a catboy???

Because catboys are allowed to do that lol. Taking one example of a crossdressing catboy to mean catboys infringe on transfem copyright is wild.

Hi thanks for letting me vent to you cause I am at work and can't properly process my emtions otherwise rn. I've been otherwise generally in a slightly emotionally fragile place and then I just got an awful review for my first actual order from a stranger on Etsy. And like I know logically that it's not the end of the world and I gave them exactly what they ordered and it's not my fault that they measured wrong or didn't take my advice and size up a little for fit etc etc but no one else will know that and I just got started selling craft stuff and it's just a hobby and it sucks that this person clearly expected something that wasn't what they paid for (my prices are low cause it's a hobby sorry I don't have super professional materials that would make my stuff cost double) but it's really fucking me up and I am trying not to like cry at work because of this and it's so stupid. This was just my first purchase online that wasn't from a friend and I was so excited and they hated it and didn't even send a message or anything about the length (that was exactly what they asked for by the way) not fitting before leaving a review. It just fucking sucks and I wish my brain didn't react to the most minor disappointments/shows of dislike with the I'm going to kill everyone in this room and then myself meme as first response Thanks for listening. It really helps to be able to vent this somewhere <3

I'm really sorry anon, that sounds so frustrating and hard to deal with. I love you so much. <3 I know you do great work and I hope it goes better next time.

Having NPD sucks, lmao, sorry for the rant ahead. I have to remind myself that the 'mark' on shinigami eyes doesn't actually mean anything, but it's hard sometimes because it's still a stain on my reputation. :( some people will see that and take it at face value, forever associating me with the filth that is transphobia, and I can't do anything about it. I appreciate the people who actually know what a transphobe is going out of their way to remove that mark, but it's a losing battle against a bunch of buffoons who think catgirls are transmisogynistic. sometimes it's really hard to pretend that it doesn't bother me at all, because it's highly insulting for me to be associated with the things I literally fight against. What an insult to my legacy and efforts to even bother to care about other people, you know? I don't HAVE to take time out of my day to do activism, I could just not bother to care at all, but I still try. I deserve praise, not this bullshit😭

I'll praise you! Thank you for fighting against transphobia. <3

All this catboy talk. Wanted to say hi as a catboy. Meow :3

Nya~!

My prediction for TRF discourse in 2025: closeted, non passing trans men shouldn't wear skirts or other traditional women's clothing (even if they don't want to and literally have no other choice) because they're MEN and men wearing women's clothes is obviously always transmisogynistic

All trans men are transmisogynistic because they grew up mocking transfems by wearing women's clothes.

some of this discourse is just so fucking wild i cant believe this is something people are taking so seriously. sipping my tea from the sidelines as a chubby catboy therian lmao

You have a cooler head than I.

iirc the "catgirls are transfem" thing started happening around the time Ferris got popular as a character because, if I'm correct, Ferris actually is transfem (coded?) and following that some people just decided The Aesthetique belonged exclusively to transfems now (also you're so so so so based for loving Schrödinger I remember first seeing him in like 2007 and wishing I looked exactly like him)

Schrodinger is my secret fifth blorbo. I'm obsessed with him. I think about him constantly. High five.

als catboys are only white passing in the way that people love to say anime characters are white lmao (aka cant conceive of the fact that anime characters are actually light skinned Japanese). not to say anime doesn't have a colorism problem but They Are Not White and its racist to say otherwise

lol yes exactly

I might be really stepping in it here, but tangential to catboy/catgirl discourse, I'm starting to get really uncomfortable with how the cutesy moe-blob yuri is treated as "trans lesbian culture" these days? as though none of it was ever straight guy fantasy shit? as though it's ideal representation instead of another vector of impossible beauty standards? idk, maybe I'm just being way too touchy. 😬

It's fine if something becomes emblematic of transfem culture but you just can't pretend something was always transfem when it blatantly wasn't lol

you got marked red on shinigami eyes and i havev no idea why

My smoke too tough, my swag too different, my bitch too bad.

juggalo here. we don't want them.

Devastating.

For what it's worth, the "cats transforming into people" thing is probably based on the bakeneko, yeah. The "bake" in "bakeneko" means "transforming", often with the implication of transforming into people (like the better known bakedanuki and bakegitsune). The popularization of cat-people in anime probably came from Neko-Musume from Gegege no Kitaro (the anime behind the "youkai boom" in modern Japanese culture), who is a half-bakeneko.

Fascinating.

(Dif anon) "leading one to wonder what transphobia they think trans men do face" 99.999% sure at this point we're at "trans men experience misgendering... maybe...?"

Well that doesn't count since everyone wants to be a girl, an idea that I believe has universal appeal because I'm a self-centered moron.

You're awesome <3

Thank you anon. <3

I didn't realize I was trans from yaoi but I did largely realize it from memes about traps and accidentally stumbling across largely transfem subreddits via a anime memes despite being transmasc so. Great amount of respect for our yaoi soldiers.

Hell yeah!

[redditreceipts]

https://www.tumblr.com/genderkoolaid/736795285384216576/

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

The only coherent, non-rabidly misogynist and factually right thing OP say in this whole thing is at the very beginning when she recognized transgenderism as a completely made up modern human concept XDDDDD

Okay, let’s go through this word by word:

you can piss of both because it's just blatantly wrong and stupid. I could also say "the earth is flat" and piss of the catholic church and trans activists. what have I proven? nothing.

correct so far lmao

well yeah, everyone shares common experiences with trans and genderqueer people, because nobody identifies and behaves 100% according to their assigned gender at birth

woah, if I didn’t know that this was a gendie blog, I would think that this is a terf lmao. yes, some women are trans (aka trans men), and some men are trans as well (aka trans women)

I mean yeah, if you define “transphobia” as “opposition to gender nonconformity”, she sure as hell lived through transphobia. it’s just a bullshit definition, because being gender non conforming does not imply being trans. the thing with these definitions (i.e. defining trans as “not identifying with your gender assigned at birth” or defining transphobia as "an opposition to gender non-conformity") is that in this type of analysis, there is simply no space for gender non-conformity. every type of discrimination a gnc person experiences is transphobia, and every gnc person is trans or genderqueer.

yeah, maybe she just wore this type of clothing because she liked it. maybe she thought it looked stylish. maybe it suited her best. maybe she had sensory issues with skirts and dresses. maybe she really got a message from God. maybe she wanted to protect herself from sexual violence. it literally doesn’t matter, because she should be able to wear whatever she likes for whatever reason

good for her that she stood by what she wanted to do and started wearing the clothing she liked (which happened to be associated with the male sex in that time). and yeah, the society of that time was sexist, so they probably wanted to punish her for crossing gender roles

i mean, many gnc women wear clothes that are typically associated with the male sex for very different reasons, not just as a means to an end. women have always seen things that defy the patriarchy as vital to their soul, like loving other women, abortion, wearing certain clothes, doing certain trades etc. all of these things could have gotten them killed at one time or the other. you just pick “wearing masculine clothing”, because for you gender is just about fashion statements. 

also, nobody presents as cisfeminine, because femininity is an unreachable standard imposed by patriarchy, and “cis” would imply a total identification with that absurd standard. everyone is gnc in one sense or the other, some less and some much more, so there is really no inherent transness about Jeanne D’Arc. 

no, I don’t care about what the Catholic Church says, and we also don’t know whether Jeanne D’Arc actually heard some divine commandments or whether she just had mania or schizophrenia or something. It doesn’t matter at last, because “genderqueer” is not a useful analysis of anything. the human condition is one of being “genderqueer”, because at least for women, it is considered genderqueer to not shave - our natural bodies are “genderqueer”. you’re “queering” something that didn’t exist in the first place - a happily gender-conforming woman. Jean D’Arc is "genderqueer" because she did what she wanted, like every woman who does what she wants is "genderqueer". every free woman is “genderqueer”, every happy woman is "genderqueer", every courageous woman is "genderqueer". 

so in conclusion, this is not per se wrong, because gendies will just define any word how they like it and don’t do any analysis in the end, because the definition of things like “genderqueer” or “trans” is constructed in such a way that it always confirms the point the author wants to make. but because of its tautological nature, we don’t learn anything. 

but the huge problem with this type of analysis is that the language of “her gender expression”, “her masculine gender expression as vital to her soul”, and the individualised analysis of an experience that fundamentally, all women share to varying degrees: the inability to remain both a whole human and to submit to patriarchal demands. You can’t be gender-conforming and be a full autonomous member of society. And in that sense, being “trans” or “trans-adjacent” is an emotion that every woman shares, some more and some less. The thing is that gender roles were never meant to produce a woman that fulfils them completely, they were only ever meant to occupy women’s minds enough so they don’t start a revolution. 

But why do we have to call that very natural impulse “genderqueer”, implying that feeling like this distances you from womanhood in any way? Feeling like patriarchy is restrictive is the most female thing anyone could experience, and is a confirmation of Jean D’Arc’s womanhood. 

[pillarsalt]

Wikipedia anon here, i feel SO embarrassed for misremembering so much about that article. the concept of the cotton cieling and the reminder of the sheer amount of institutions/resources that have been taken over by tims/tras makes me so upset i didn't want to recheck the article again, even though i should have. (it was some time ago i saw the rb of your comic and did my first check, then saw your comic again and remembered about doing so, to clarify. yes i'm an absolute mess i apologize)

i appreciate you so much for not only getting what i was trying (and failing lmao) to explain but also looking into and linking the talk page because JFC!!! so sharing differing opinions for a topic (with cited sources!!) on wikipedia is a no-no, but it's totally fine when you and your friends retroactively decide pro-topic views make you look bad and so you delete the entire article and rewrite the definition of said topic to be about generically "being left out of spaces :.-(" instead of being honest about it being homophobic, rapist rhetoric (which is the reason you're trying to hide it in the first place) hoooooooly SHIT

if genderism ever blows over (with how long it's stuck around for, and with no one being willing to talk about objective/legal concerns like the WPATH files and Maya Forestater, let alone even have a conversation with a GC person, at this point i'm not hopeful...) everyone who contributed to the widescale abuse and trauma of women (especially lesbians), girls, gay men, gnc people, and tip (medicalized or not) could spend the rest of their lives begging for forgiveness and it wouldn't be anywhere near enough. not that i'm expecting them to do that, of course. it's not even blown over yet and we can see from the cotton ceiling article that they'll absolutely try to just gaslight everyone and pretend it never happened (and if it did, it wasn't that bad, and if it was bad it was your fault for not doing your research, etc etc)

ANYWAY i'd rather end on something positive, so thank you again for sharing your wonderful art on here!! seeing there's a talented, feminist female artist who's into pokemon and mlp but hasn't bought into trans ideology is so healing for me. hope you have a lovely day!!! :) :) :)

I wouldn't be embarrassed, I mean the article's not completely empty but it's obviously been stripped down to next to nothing compared to what it used to contain, and half the cited sources aren't really relevant at all. They briefly mention the MTF porn actor who coined the term but failed to mention the scores of other popular MTFs who were vehement proponents of the rhetoric (Riley J Dennis is the first one that comes to mind). And yeah that dude in the discussion page saying he's going to be watching the page and reverting any edits he doesn't like, isn't that very wikipedia illegal? I don't edit wikipedia but I'm fairly certain that camping on an article to make sure your edits aren't edited is not allowed.

It's definitely been a trend with "progressives" to flip the script on anything they've done and can see was wrong in retrospect, claiming "no actually YOU said this, not me." It's a very good reason to keep things documented, and I have huge respect for people who keep the receipts so we can hold people accountable for the harmful bullshit they've spread around. (Speaking of which, I think now is a good time to remind everyone that Eli Erlick is a rapist, another interesting fact that has been unsuccessfully scrubbed from the internet.)

Thanks for your wonderful words as well :) Have a great day too!

[thrilling-oneway]

whenever people want to hate on d4dj why do they jump straight on "It's queerphobic bc..." as if it doesn't have the best queer rep of any rhythm game out there.

1757 words about queer representation in D4DJ and other rhythm/gacha games below cut

Like there are actual valid reasons to not like d4dj. There's definitely an issue with sexualising the high schoolers, I've made posts talking about it before. But at the same time, if you as someone who plays other of the major gacha/rhythm games is going to say that, you should probably address that SIF, bandori (and maybe enstars? it's been a while since I played) have some dodgy cards as well. Admittedly these cards are mainly old whereas D4DJ is still producing these, but you shouldn't act like your preferred game is perfect either.

But especially saying that D4DJ is queerphobic is so weird. To say that just proves you have no idea what actually happens in the game, and you're just taking screenshots out of context.

Firstly hayakoko. Okay so in the flashback where they get together they said "but we're both girls". Yeah, it's a cliche line that screams 'written by a hetero person', but within the context of the story it's not that bad if a little cringe. Neither Hayate or Kokoa had liked a girl before they started dating, this is literally stated on screen: Hayate says that she was a little surprised to realise that she had a crush on Kokoa. They're baby gay at this point in time. I think Kokoa's an interesting one to point out as well, because she's the one who said the line in the first place, and even after she admits that she likes Kokoa as well and they start dating, the True Love Kiss side story shows her being insecure about PDA in school. It reads a lot like she's had a very heteronormative upbringing, which is very common for queer people. It's probably more common in Japan where they still don't have equal rights for queer people (they don't have marriage equality, same-sex couples can't marry, the exception being if one is trans and hasn't legally changed their gender. and after they're married they can't legally change their gender). Not to mention she goes to catholic school, and as far as I know there's some issues there. So I don't see anything wrong with Kokoa not wanting to be out publicly, and being a bit insecure when she and Hayate confess. You gotta remember they are 15 as well (and ~14 when they started dating). Their relationship isn't going to be perfect, and that's normal.

And then Aoi and her gender presentation. Aoi has always been a very masculine presenting character, and is explicitly GNC, so I can understand that some people were disappointed with her wearing long hair and a ballgown in the Aoi & Haruna Relations event. But the anger some people hold towards this. Come on, how badly can you miss the point? Aoi's gender presentation has been a part of her character since her initial card story. She says she actually used to dress more feminine and have long hair in high school, but decided to change her look because she thought she suited the shorter hair. She also mentions that when she presented fem, she would be told she looked like a cross dresser, which obviously offended her. It's not hard to see that Aoi just wants to be seen as Aoi. It's not about how she presents her gender, she's still Aoi no matter how she dresses - Tsubaki mentions this in the A&H Relations. Nothing was retconned or de-canonised when Aoi wore hair extensions and a dress, it wasn't a sudden unnecessary change. The event explores the fact she wants to try different looks outside of her usual 'princely' one, but she's a bit of a people pleaser and is unsure about it because people associate Aoi with "androgynous good looks". There was no pressure from anyone to be feminine, there was actually pressure the other way. She wore a dress and had long hair for one (1) event, and 2 illustrations. Her most recent card has her in trousers with short hair again. Like you don't have to pounce on it being erasure because Aoi wanted to dress more feminine one time. She doesn't hate being GNC now, she's not permanently feminine now - Aoi being GNC is a part of who she is. Aoi being fluid with her gender expression is a part of her queerness and I don't get how you can miss the point so badly to call it erasure.

D4DJ is genuinely one of if not the best mainstream gacha/rhythm game for queer rep. There's so much more than just this: Tsubaki and Aoi are canonically in love with each other and there was even an attempted confession (they got interrupted), KyoShino have implied romantic feelings, same with NagiHiiro and RinMuni (mainly from Muni's side). Haruna was pretty much confirmed as lesbian during the A&H relations, and has had crushes on two separate characters. Saori's sapphic as well (there's one or two implications that she's bisexual). Having Hayate and Kokoa in a relationship opens the doors to more ships becoming canon in the future. The only negative representation I can think of in this game is Noa, so if you really want to go out of your way to say D4DJ is queerphobic, there you go. Noa likes cute thing, cute girls, and flanderisation took hold quickly to the point of her being creepily obsessed with the ri4 girls and a few others, and literally stalking them. Yikes. Her writing is improving though, especially in All Mix where she just occasionally comments on how cute they are without taking it too far, and they actually let her have other personality traits expressed that had pretty much been forgotten.

My point here is that if you're going to say D4DJ is bad rep or homophobic, you're admitting that your game is worse for representation. I'm not saying that the games in the "Big 3" (proseka/bandori/enstars) are bad by any means (idk about enstars actually I didn't play for very long), but D4DJ has definitely taken some big steps in queer representation that those games are seemingly too scared to make. Having a canon sapphic couple is a game like this is a huge deal, I'm not even sure if it's been done before. And before anyone says "but anhane and minoharu went on a double date in Buddy Funny Spend Time", neither of those pairs are stated or even fucking implied to be in a relationship outside of that event. It kinda just happens in one event, and even then it's still a bit vague on whether either of the couples are actually dating in the event. It's definitely heavily implied that anhane/minoharu have mutual romantic feelings, so they are arguably canon in that sense, just not in an established relationship sense. Bandori has done this as well with PareChu, have them go on dates and be clearly romantically interested in each other, only to never actually be a couple (I know tsumutsumu and reochi have called parechu an official couple, but that's word of saint paul rather than word of god, so take this how you will). Hayakoko is HUGE for this genre, and could mean good things in the future of other rhythm games (especially other Bushiroad ones).

--Break here where I went on a tangent about non-D4DJ queercoding--

Outside of schroedingers dating, both bandori and proseka have characters who are implied/canonically queer. I'll make this short because this is getting really long now and I apologise to anyone who's still reading.

For bandori, Arisa has a crush on Kasumi, Kaoru can be considered as canonically lesbian just from how she's presented, YukiLisa has a lot of implications for romantic feelings, as do MocaRan. Himari is also an interesting case, as she could be read as bisexual or comphet lesbian, it's never really made clear (at least as far as I know, I stopped playing bandori a while ago, and am not up-to-date on story, so anyone who's still reading feel free to add to this or correct me). There's probably some stuff missing here as well.

As for proseka, it actually has quite a lot of queercoding. I already touched on anhane and minoharu earlier, but Kohane and Minori are both heavily implied to be lesbian, An as well (although there's like one or two hints that she could be bi. I can cite them if needed). Mizuki is canonically transfeminine (their gender is unconfirmed), and they have been shown to be attracted to women. ShizuAiri and AkiToya have a lot of romantic implications in their relationships, EmuNene has gradually been getting more and more actually (Amidst a Dream). Ena is implied wlw and Rui is implied mlm okay I think I got everything tangent over.

--End of break--

Regardless of my criticisms, all of the games I've mentioned definitely show how much queer rep has grown and become a lot better in the last decade or so. While not focused on the rhythm game, the first generation of Love Live (2010-16) queerbaited* a fair amount. To give one example, there's an 'interview' with Honoka from 2015 where she heavily implies that she's straight, despite having ship tease with other female characters. Compare that to what we have 8 years later, and you can definitely see improvement. However I think it still needs to be addressed that what we have isn't perfect, and it probably will take while to get to a point where we can have more openly queer characters/couples, especially considering Japan as a country (and american/else localisation teams). But I think more people need to recognise how important D4DJ is for queer representation within this genre. It's really not common to have queer romance and gender presentation be directly addressed and frequently shown, and not just for the sake of making money.

I'm bad at ending essays.

* Queerbaiting - intentionally and maliciously leading a queer audience to believe they will receive representation which is then not provided. Whether the rhythm games mentioned do this or not is... debatable? It's done for the money which ticks the intentionally malicious box, queer people aren't for capitalising on. But a good amount of the time it's done to bait straight people who like yuri/yaoi. I do think it's queerbait though like heavily ship teasing a couple and then throwing in a line to imply one of them is straight definitely queerbaiting. april edit: it took me over a month to realise that there were words missing in that last sentence sorry about that. hi anyone who's reading this in the future

[woomycritiques543]

My current thoughts on the Sallie Mae situation.

As someone who used to be mentally unwell for the past few years, I find that my past posts were written in a rush. I find that my past self wasn’t actually upset about the Sallie Mae situation, but rather how Erin Frost was being treated, the people that wronged her, and the fandom’s behavior towards the character and Ignis to be nothing short of disrespectful of the trans identity and not at all being done out of respect, but rather to have Sallie’s _____ define how they see her. Which is what concerned me and why I put that into the video in the first place. So to address the situation, I believe that it should be addresses according to the participants and what each of us should have done. So with that said:

Ignis.

1. Now that I am diagnosed, I believe that Ignis was actually someone both of good and bad faith, that she actually loved Sallie Mae and wanted to have good representation. But that after she said that “I did this for what the fans want.” I researched what those fans “wanted” and found nothing more than disrespectful presentations of the character that I ended up putting into my now deleted “Vivziepop Archive Extravaganza.” video. But that in itself just shows that the fandom was the one who wanted to be bad faith with Sallie Mae.

2. The reason why Ignis emphasized _____ now that I look back on it was because she wanted to make a point about transgender representation. Which now that I have space in my brain to better think things through, I think that this in itself is fine, it was just executed poorly due to the way that the other characters were drawn causing this to be emphasized in a way that was drawn differently from the other characters in a way that caused this to he executed as ___tishization. Even if the good intentions were there. So with Sallie Mae and both her and Sallie’s representation, Ignis was in good faith. I just wish that she was honest about Erin Frost’s posts, the merch that she was proud of instead of hiding behind non-__xual merchandising, and addressed the sitiation with Finn, Sallie’s brother, instead of ignoring the transgender community’s concerns and using the fact that she was a voice actress to avoid accountability for supporting Vivziepop despite what happened with Finn.

Erin Frost.

1. What I believe that Erin should have done differently is that she shouldn’t have just left her statement about Sallie Mae vague but instead should have made an explanation as to why she felt that what Vivziepop was doing with Sallie was _____tization. The issue being the difference between how Sallie was drawn compared to the other characters within the merchandising, and how that ended up causing the execution of a otherwise good faith decision to be done poorly.

Jayman.

1. Oh boy…. Jayman. What could I say about Jayman except that they purposely took Erin’s post out of context to make outlandish claims that used Erin’s vague wording to make her look “bad”, the dishonesty in how he presented his views on pretty much everything, what he ended up doing to other fans, how he treated me. Jayman was just an awful person overall, and im glad that he left the internet before he could have done what he had done to me to anyone else.

Myself.

1. For me, I feel like I should have further looked into the situation and explained myself better. But couldn’t have at the time due to my brain feeling cluttered because I didn’t have proper medical treatment. I should have kept the accountability for the fandom’s actions and Spindlehorse’s actions separate instead of grouping them together the way that I did.

I was too accusatory, I should’ve said that “Though Sallie’s brother situation isn’t your fault, that doesn’t mean that you should keep supporting someone you know wants to erase much needed representation of gnc.” but couldn’t say this at the time due to my past mental state being much less coherent.

2. I’ve realized why the past when it comes to this situation caused me so much pa^n. It was the fact that people kept taking Erin Frost’s word at face value instead of trying to dig into why she said what she said and trying to analyze the screenshots more than just face value. I was actually up^et about Erin Frost, not Sallie Mae. -and because of how I was at the time my thoughts were jumbled together so I took out my emotions about Erin out on Ignis, when I should have again, kept my thoughts about Sallie’s brother, Ignis, and Erin Frost separate.

The problem?

I couldn’t do it at the time. My brain functioned in a way that grouped things together into disorganized mush.

-and now that I know that I am mentally ill, it effects me even more that Jayman was such an able^st person and that Ignis let him get away with treating me the way that he did and let Vivziepop get away with everything else.

In all, I wish that I could do more.

I wish that I could make a proper video on Vivziepop like I had planned to, it’s just that due to personal and technical reasons such a video would be physically impossible to do.

So take this as a “My current thoughts” sort of thing since a proper video on either subject matter, or any more videos for that matter, wouldn’t be possible to do in my current state.

-and with that said, I wish you all a goodnight.

Take care. -RaySquid.

[lakesbian]

Alec for the worm bingo but you have to lie (or possibly place Alec where he would place himself)

huh whats that. i stopped reading after the first five words

somehow not winning a Single bingo i've done goddamn. 1.6 million words and we still don't know enough about him. but also we know almost the perfect amount about him. i liked watching him jump into the paper shredder. only worm character who has made me sniffle for 45 straight minutes (over a scene i thought i was going to find hilarious, which is very fitting for how he operates as a person). shoutout to blastweave for the 'surprisingly good person given the circumstances terrible by any other metrics' post bc it Got In My Brain and made me start thinking abt alec and now i'm the world's biggest alec enjoyer.

reading the terrible takes made him more interesting as well tho. i literally only started thinking interesting things about him because i got mad at posts that sucked. like i didn't even like him at first he was nothing to me but i accidentally talked myself into liking him by vehemently disagreeing with posts that disliked him for the wrong reasons.

anyway i actually really liked what wildbow did with his personal paper shredder i think everything about his arc is 4 the most part super solid, i do think he could've made the WoG re: his abysmal childhood a bit more blatant in canon. like maybe toss that in his interlude or smth. i know wildbow is not a 'sexual abuse on-screen' guy in terms of writing preference and on a watsonian level i think it checks that alec mostly avoids thinking about the things that most impacted him but as-is it's so subtle that Literally Everyone misses it and subsequently misses what his Deal is lmao. i think he could have scootched Something in there to make his Deal more obvious. but the only thing i'm rescuing him from wildbow for is that wildbow cannot handle the bisexual gnc swag he Deserves to have. never over how funny it is that wildbow doesn't even see him as bisexual just as 'hedonist' and writes him like a straight boy except for when he's having fucked up evil sex but still thinks he looks gay enough for someone to accuse him of not liking vagina. during a kaiju fight. like 30 minutes before he dies. top all time regent moment.

(okay, second top all time regent moment. no 1 top all time is still when he says being willing to make sacrifices for the people you care about is terribly unhealthy. it sure is buddy. you've heard of taylor judging alec for shit she does, get ready for alec being like 'man taylor is so gonna be fucked over by that thing she does' about something he is also going to be fucked over by doing)

edit: OH. and alec wouldn't mark anything. no not even the traumatized square. he has issues

[mithliya]

i agree that in the end there's no one we detransitioners hurt more than ourselves. and i too have to admit that it also hurted immensely to watch your favourite media personalities turn to gender shit.

i was gnc even before i realised that im a lesbian. i grew up in eastern europe, and didn't know that real love between women is even possible, that its called being a lesbian. everything around me implied that im bound to marry a man in the end, give birth to children and be a mother. and it was scary. i secretly dreamt of waking up a boy one day because then i would be able to marry a nice girl. when i got my own access to the internet, i was exposed to even more misogyny and it made me spiral even further to the point of dreading growing up, feeling disgusted and trapped in my own body etc. but on the other hand i slowly found about homosexuality and other stuff. and so i discovered other gnc women. famous gnc women. when i was a teen, i think i had a celebrity crush on Rain Dove(i still find her very attractive), and listened to JD Samson and LP. (i sorta built my own teen separatist utopia in my online space, when i only watched and listened to and read what gnc and lesbian women had to offer) it was like a breath of fresh air for me. and then women who were just like me, whom i looked up to one by one started to proclaim themselves non-binary and proceed to promote that rhetoric further. it threw me back so hard i got depressed. i was bullied by my dad for "looking too much like Jolie's tif daughter". it took me long to stabilise myself back. im still dysphoric, some times feel worse than others, but nothing i can't bear really.

now i don't think that those women caused more damage than my misogynistic environment,my school, classmates, dance class, family, social media etc., they just reopened the old wound in an unstable teen. but i can't help feeling wronged by them a little bit. i don't place the whole blame on them, at least not equal to what misogynistic society's done to me first. as well as i don't think that their fault as celebrities is anywhere near to anything that a regular detrans woman may have of feel. but i do think that people like them, who helped to spread those ideologies, even if it came from their own traumas and discomfort caused by misogyny, have to take some responsibility for their actions, once they decide to detrans or desist. at least for leading young, gnc, lesbian, mentally ill or unstable, autistic girl to the gender bs.

(thanks for reading my rumbling. i can also call my feelings very subjective, because i acknowledge that after all this time i still feel angry at the world, and at the environment those women had become a part of, that led a little anxious insecure girl i was to think there was actually something wrong with her. can also be the case. bc page's transition also hit harder than i wanted, even though i already was a radfem)

btw shiloh jolie (john) is not trans, shes just a gnc girl and i think its awesome that her mom let her explore that stuff and called her john (as shiloh requested) bc its what allowed her to grow up to be gnc unapologetically rather than self-hating.

i get where ur coming from though, i think its a pretty toxic cycle in general, like many gnc women & girls buy into that ideology because of how it targets them & then further promote it which slowly impacts more and more gnc people negatively. i just think that people have a lot of unnecessary hostility and presumptiveness towards detrans people that acts like these detrans people were personally responsible for this cycle existing, as if they also werent harmed by that same rhetoric and aren't actively fighting against it by being vocal against it. that said, of course it's important to go against your past wrongs and to try to right them, my issue is that people assume the worst of detrans people & don't realise that its detrans people fighting against those wrongs the hardest right now, alongside gnc people.

[spiderfreedom]

They literally have your dogwhistle in their username. The suffragette flag colours? You lot often use that to indicate you are a terf.

Anyone can call themselves anything and identify as anything, that doesn't mean that they share consistent ideologies. The term 'incel' was coined by a bisexual woman and became overtaken by resentful men - guarding symbols like the suffragette flag colors is pointless because there's no meaningful way to police membership in them.

Maybe you should consider why people like this are drawn to your movement.

In the same way that there is no central trans authority who reviews all the Correct Trans Points of View, there is no central gender critical or """"terf""" or radical feminist authority who reviews all members for ideological consistency. I disagree with these people and I think they're interested in the topic for the wrong reason (easy dunkings on trans people) but I have no power to kick them out or even to explain to all of them why they're wrong.

To compare, plenty of "ex-nazis" were attracted to Breadtube and internet socialism, and I certainly found that extremely worrying, but I had no social standing in that group to do anything about it. Anyone can call themselves a socialist and start talking about the banks and the corporations and the working class. If they start doing so in an antisemitic way, we have no real way to get rid of these people en masse unless the most prominent people in the movement (who are themselves unreachable) say anything about it. And they didn't really seem to care!

That some people are attracted to socialism for wrong reasons doesn't make socialism wrong. That some people are attracted to defending notions of biological sex for wrong reasons doesn't make the notion of biological sex as an axis of oppression wrong. I try to do what I can in my little online space to argue with radfems with ideas I view as logically inconsistent and to point out when they're falling for obvious bait, but I'm a powerless nobody.

Most of us are nobodies. There are very few self-identified radical feminists in the world, and way more conservatives with strict views on gender. And conservatives love nothing more than coopting feminist language anyway (remember anti-vaxxers and "my body my choice"?).

If you don’t claim this behaviour and truly care about women, maybe you need to consider what is causing it in the first place and stop being a terf (trans exclusionary radical “feminist”. That’s what it means.) Because there are far too many of you who are like this and you are doing nothing but taking us backwards.

I've been open to having dialogues about the policy and ideological issues that we disagree on with people on tumblr regarding radical feminism. I've even had some people take me up on the offer. I've always believed that we have much more in common with people advocating for trans rights than we do with conservatives.

I will consider your question (and I'm sure I've written about it before). But in return, there's one thing I'd like "your side" to take into consideration. Ask yourself the same question: if you care about women, then consider why so many women who used to wholeheartedly agree with you (myself included) left your movement. Why are so many lesbian women, bisexual women, gnc women, autistic women, and third world women disillusioned with the feminism you're offering? Why do we feel that you have failed to advocate for our needs? Do you understand why we are "defectors" or "radicalized"?

Also: is JK Rowling gender nonconforming? Helen Joyce? Maya Forstater? Kellie Jay Keen? The most prominent figures in your movement?

None of these people represent me and with the possible exception of JK Rowling, I think they're foolish. None of them are really gnc at all. (Kathleen Stock actually is, for the record.) But I do think many detrans women are gnc, and detrans women have greatly informed my thinking on gender and feminism. Reading through the works of destroyyourbinder and Max Robinson felt eye-opening to me.

Of course, detrans women, especially autistic detrans women, especially autistic detrans lesbian women, get basically no screentime or power and are used as pawns by everyone - reviled by medical transition advocates, manipulated by conservatives, and accused of being 'divisive' by radical feminists.

The conservatives are not going to pick you and you are actively hurting yourself as well as others like you. WAKE UP.

Plenty of us are against collusion with the right wing and try to convince others against it! But as I repeat - we are hardly an influential group! The big names organizing in the name of "gender critical" are normie conservative women who don't go on tumblr!

If I could talk to these women and tell them all the ways they're harming us, I would gladly do so. Many of us would jump on that chance. But I can no more do that than you can tell Caitlyn Jenner to stop being a right-winger, right? Because agreeing on one issue doesn't mean you agree with them on everything? And it certainly doesn't mean you can influence them and change their mind?

Just like I won't give up on socialism because right-wingers and nazis are attempting to infiltrate it, I will not give up on the notion that biological sex is a meaningful category, axis of oppression, and necessary for feminist analysis. When conservative normies stop caring about the issue, I will still be here, because I am an autistic bisexual gnc woman, my experience as a female person has indelibly changed the course of my life, and I am committed to nothing less than the liberation of female people, and social justice more broadly.

As an aside - gender criticals are hardly the only people who view short hair as a sign of non-binary or transmasc identification. It is way too common on tiktok for socially progressive people to pressure masc women, especially masc lesbian women, into identifying as trans men. I've experienced something like this myself in real life, where two acquaintances decided without telling me that I must be non-binary because, well, someone like me couldn't possible be a woman, right? gnc women are not taken seriously by any "side".

Some tweets from TERFs about Emma Watson simply because she got a haircut again.

“What does she actually DO these days, apart from wringing every last drop of her fading fame out for clicks and pics?” You’re thinking of JK Rowling, not Emma Watson ❤️

[longsightmyth]

“Being shown the basics of how to use a blade and then using it on another living, breathing person are two very different things.” She pulled her hand back. “I would’ve definitely stood there and screamed. I’m not ashamed to admit that, and my screams probably would’ve brought the guards’ attention sooner.”

“You would’ve defended yourself.” I totally believed that.

Okay my doves. Somehow we have rounded the bend from 'stop saying/showing it's weak to be Stereotypically Feminine' and into 'you have to be Stereotypically Feminine AND stabby AND not know you're beautiful.' I see this a lot in tog just to use a soecific example: "we like celaena because she's Feminine (tm) While Still Being Strong." Okay. Fine. Show me a single Non Feminine (tm) lady in those books who is good. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? You cannot find one. Gender conformity still upheld.

This.

Remains.

Sexist.

(Not to mention often queerphobic: when conformity to One Kind Of Gender Norm is upheld, everybody loses, but especially people who don't conform, like gnc (literally in the name lol) folks and even my mother, cis lady who does not exactly Emote in a way most people consider Feminine (tm) or indeed ACT in a way most people consider Feminine (tm))

Misogyny has changed the message from 'feminine (tm) women aren't weak' to 'you have to be feminine stabby lest ye be Not A Woman And Also Weak' and people don't seem to realize it, or what the definition of 'not weak' (aka stabby) has become. Stoppit.

This particular thing here is also odd: there is nothing out of the ordinary about someone facing Actual Violence for the first time not knowing what to do! Tawny is right! In fact, screaming really loudly in hearing of people who are supposed to protect you is a valid defense strategy!

But Poppy (and as far as I can tell, the book) seems to place a value judgment here: no, Poppy says. You would have defended yourself. I believe this.

Because people, apparently, who 'defend themselves' (aka stab people, apparently taking steps to ensure people trained for this sort of thing get there to help you out does not count in this book) are better people. What Poppy (and, I think, the book) is really saying is, no, Tawny. You wouldn't scream, because you are worth something. You would stab somebody with the knife I have given you, because you are A Good Person. And you'll do it while you're pretty (and literally named Tawny Lion)

And I cannot hold with that. It isn't wrong to not want to be violent. It isn't wrong to know your strengths and weaknesses. It isn't wrong to need or want help from people other than your love interest.

Anyway I don't think that's what a lot of these books have set out to say. Unfortunately that is, however, what they are saying, out loud, with their whole chest: you have to be Beautiful and Feminine. And you have to be willing to stab people. Otherwise, you are not worthy.

[pitynostars]

sorry but i'm going to have to disagree. rtd's comment SOUNDS innocent and well meaning, but when sacha, an asian villain wore jodie's clothes it was fine and nothing has been said about that, but when its tennant thats unthinkable?? also, jodie specifically went to her designer and asked for an androgynous outfit because she'd seen a gnc person and wanted the doctor to be similar - why wouldn't they be? the doctor's gender is literally fluid. in the most literal sense of the word. i was hoping for some in-universe explanation for the clothes change but if its just that, i'm going to be genuinely disappointed.

i appreciate disliking the choice (i'm not actually a fan of it myself just pointing out some potential thoughts behind it + getting fed up of people spreading lies about what was actually said), but i'll repeat my pov on your points here!

"when sacha, an asian villain wore jodie's clothes it was fine and nothing has been said about that, but when its tennant thats unthinkable??"

thats exactly the point though, right? the subset that WOULD make horrible comments about it, are the type of people who also wouldn't blink twice at a “villain” “crossdressing” lets be real here. a lot of media plays that up. similar to how the reaction to whittaker!doctor and gomez!master was quite different. its different when its the actual lead. RTD would v likely know this (but bear in mind, RTD likely didn't know Dhawan!Doctor was happening in tPotD when he was planning the regeneration scene)

Dhawan almost immediately switched out for a mix of all the Doctor's outfits and eventually gets back to his Rasputin fit, it’s not his ONE look for the episode compared to it would have been 100% of DT’s screentime

with Dhawan Doctor, it was in the middle of an episode which Chibnall wrote apparently thinking the show was being CANCELLED (so like, didnt need to think abt the media reaction as much even if it had OCCURRED to him to do so)

coming out of the episode, what were all the headlines about? the regeneration. Tennant. which is what ALWAYS happens with these eps. RTD probably suspected this was going to be the main chat of the next YEAR before there’s new eps because that’s what ALWAYS gets the attention/publicity.

"also, jodie specifically went to her designer and asked for an androgynous outfit because she'd seen a gnc person and wanted the doctor to be similar - why wouldn't they be? the doctor's gender is literally fluid. in the most literal sense of the word."

Sure and the whole REASON Whittaker herself had to emphasise "these are not women’s clothes they’re the doctor’s clothes" "anyone can wear them" etc. etc. back when she first started is because SHE knew the public/media reaction too and was trying to get ahead of it in the same way as RTD is with this.

RTD hasn't said the Doctor is cis, or can't be played by a woman again, or that cosplayers can't dress as 13 (or whatever people are making up now) it's purely about the REAL WORLD reaction of having Tennant be the last shot of the ep, the ONLY official shot of his Doctor we would have had for a whole YEAR for the vultures to potentially latch on to. The Doctor doesn't exist in a vacuum.

"i was hoping for some in-universe explanation for the clothes change but if its just that, i'm going to be genuinely disappointed."

this still might happen!! the article (that i know of) doesn't say anything about whether it'll play into the plot. i'm hoping it will too, especially as the end of tPotD plays it up as feeling so Wrong/out of place (which... again is probably why RTD didn't want Tennant in Whittaker's outfit here if that was the vibe he was going for!!! the optics there would have been very 😬)

[h4zardousch3micals]

Y'know, I have a sneaking suspicion that there actually is 4 of them afterall

Aka I made an oc and now I will literally never stop annoying you guys about her

I dub thee Blue Kitty

More info about her under the cut if anybody's curious

Female but GNC af, absolutely hates doing any stereotypically girly things like wearing makeup or dresses

Her personality is basically sugar high 24/7: always bouncing around, misplacing objects around the house and saying/doing things without thinking about it first. (Blue Kitty and Yellow Guy ADHD-HI ADHD-I solidarity)

Has no common sense whatsoever, would put a fork in a wall socket if someone told her it would give her superpowers

Her favourite colour is yellow

Stims by running up and down the house at high speeds, especially late at night, there's a version of Duck's Shake him by the hand song where you can hear her stomping around in the background

Gets along best with Yellow because they're both cheerful and upbeat. They do all the dorky best friend things together like make friendship bracelets and try to stay up all night watching Grolton and Hovris (and then both not even get to midnight) She's currently trying to help him learn how to tie his shoes.

She looks up to Red a lot, both literally and metaphorically. He's the rational decision maker of the group so she usually goes to him for advice or to prevent the other two from doing something stupid Though that doesn't mean she isn't willing to put him in his place if he starts getting a big head about something like being in upper management. Overall funny sassy sibling energy

One minute Blue Kitty and Duck are discussing the crossword in the newspaper, the next they're viciously insulting eachother and throwing things across the room. They might be like this most of the time, but in a stick situation like a lesson going wrong they've eachother's backs. Yellow swears up and down that he's heard them talk about needing to finish signing the divorce papers but neither will admit to it.

She keeps talking about "that one time she felt really lucid and then everything was on fire and I saw a strange lady", but nobody is quite sure what that means. Ah well, it's probably nothing, right?

[geshertzarmeod]

In Other Lands Character Arcs

(Spoilers Abound)

I’m thinking about how the character arcs of all three main characters from In Other Lands center largely on moving away from what their families expected of them, even as each of them doesn’t necessarily think moving away from that is possible. And how it’s their relationships with each other that help them move in the directions they actually want to move in, and believe in their abilities to forge their own paths and lead fulfilling lives. Even if it’s not what their parents or home communities think a fulfilling life entails. This culminates in their refusal (along with Golden) at the end of the book, to let anyone else influence them when it comes to deciding where to be stationed. They’re ready to choose their own paths, together.

There’s something deeply appealing to me about this as a queer person, even as queerness (as defined by orientation or gender) is not actually a central factor in the shifting of each character’s relationship with their families. Actually, the character who comes closest to that is Serene, who is presumedly straight, but whose pushback against the rigid gendered expectations of her society so challenge her community that she and Golden are essentially banished at least for a time. This is only tangentially queer, I’d say, because she does this not for herself, as she seems to proudly fit & identify with elven womanhood, but recognizes the false limiting of manhood within her society and fights fiercely for Luke, Elliot, and eventually Golden, who I’d say is GNC for sure. For Luke, it’s not his being gay but his being monogamous and waiting longer than they expected (though he’s like, still 17!!! that’s still young!!!) to become sexually or romantically active that is off-putting to his family. For Elliot, his father is shocked not to see him with a man, but to see him happy (cue my tears). 

I was just thinking this after reading Girl, Serpent, Thorn especially, but I really love when queer books parallel queer narratives of shame and struggle and difference and growing pains, with queer characters, but about issues unrelated to their being queer (especially when they’re about magical/fantasy elements). Then we get to relate to queer characters and see them process a lot of the feelings we have experienced, but also get to see them be loved and value and supported unconditionally in their queerness. Anyway, for an individual analysis:

Luke Sunborn

First, because I know a lot of people might not have read it, I’m going to quote Luke’s perspective from Wings In The Morning:

There were reasons Luke hadn’t kissed anybody. The Sunborns, as a family, loved life and loved love, and treated it as a game. It was fine for them: it worked for them.

Luke had always known that a riot of brightness and different loves and leaving someone laughing was beyond him. He wanted kindness and steadiness: he did not want someone who would leave. He wanted love that would last. (location 2527 in my kindle book, I can’t tell what page)

Luke, the Sunborn champion, expected to excel in battle, and love (read: have sex) freely and easily and non-monogamously, becoming an avid reader because of Elliot - something his father is shocked by and a little ashamed of. Learning Elvish because of both of them. Breaking border camp rules, threatening superior officers, to protect Elliot, and to support Serene, even as he continually complains about it and, on paper, would always argue that those choices are Not Okay and Very Bad. Luke, whose bashful shyness around his crushes, whose concern over his first kiss, whose choice of Elliot as a partner, is incomprehensible to his family, snapping, “I don’t want anyone else,” at the elves. He’s chosen Elliot, even as Elliot still doesn’t at all believe it at that point, and he’s happy with that decision. Elliot’s his choice, and only Elliot. Notorious Sunborn sexual voracity be damned.

Luke’s journey is also largely about him working through his external, and later internalized, biases against magical creatures. It’s pretty clearly an analog to xenophobia, and Luke expresses more disgust, disdain, or fear, the more different a culture is from the one he grew up in. This obviously becomes internalized against himself, when he realizes he is half-harpy. He literally represses his wings from coming out, he sees harpies as monsters and includes himself within this. It’s awful, and it’s sad, and it’s a mixture of Elliot’s meticulous research and adamant arguments that harpies are people, and that Luke isn’t a monster at all (and neither are harpies and other non-human creatures), and Serene’s calm acceptance of him, that helps him move through this. 

This xenophobia, although clearly ingrained since childhood, don’t seem to be coming primarily from his family (certainly not from his mother) but from the culture of the borderguard in general. To me, it is implied that his father might at least casually buy into a lot of this, although he would never extend it to his son. It also is an interesting dynamic as related to the other two’s relationships with family, because Luke coming to love and accept himself, and to open his mind about non-human creatures, is actually him coming closer to his mother, rather than moving away. In my view, a part of why he bought in so clearly to this prejudice coming from the general bordercamp culture is because he was pushing away from his parents in the first place - he saw his parents being so wild and free in a way he knew he could never be that he pushed himself into the opposite side, into “reason” and restraint and conservatism. What he needed to learn was how to hold his more “traditional” wants and needs (although like, he’s kind of wrong about that. Elliott Schafer is not the traditional kind quiet love he’s imagining, and he didn’t want that anyway) while still celebrating all of the different approaches and cultures and loves out there, and that’s what he’s learning alongside Elliot and Serene. And he does this partially because Elliot’s love for him as a half-harpy is, according to his previous beliefs, just as wild and out there as his mother’s affair with his biological father, or all of Elliot’s flirting with various magical creatures. And as he accepts Elliot’s love, he accepts that too.

Serene-Heart-In-The-Chaos-of-Battle

From the first moment we meet Serene we know she ran away from home to join the border camp. She’s chosen to join the humans, to fight alongside men, to learn about the borderlands from a human perspective and use that to create an alliance and to create peace. She enters a world where she is looked down on, where she is sexualized and punished for trying to swim shirtless, and has to fight hard to take the classes she wants and have the opportunity to prove herself as she wishes. Instead of deciding her parents and community were right and going back to the elves, she digs her heels in and with Elliot and Luke’s help, fights back, fights to excel at the border camp and make things different and better, and prove her detractors wrong. 

Not only that, but she learns to respect men in a way she was not raised to do, learns to treat men as equals and partners, always defending both Elliot and Luke when her community disrespects them. This prepares her for her relationship with Golden (although Elliot still helps her along a lot, especially with their written correspondence) and ends in her and Golden essentially eloping after Golden ran away to fight alongside her. It’s also important that she accepts Golden fighting alongside her. That was not at all a given, especially as even towards the middle of the book, she seems to be thinking of human men as capable of fighting and strength and other “womanly” qualities, but not necessarily believing the same of elven men. She’s chosen a nontraditional path and a GNC partner in Golden, and for the time being, her closest family is not her blood but her beautiful boyfriend, her swordsister, and her loved and loving best friend Elliot.

Elliot Schafer

Last but the opposite of least is Elliot. What Elliot learned from his family is that he will come to nothing, that he will be forgotten, and that he will not be loved. I am so angry on this child’s behalf, for the ways he was neglected not only by his parents but by everyone before Serene. The ways his father had no interest in him because all he wanted was Elliot’s mother back (and I love Elliot’s observation that even if his mother did come back, his father wouldn’t know what to do, and would not be happy). The way his teacher literally accepted a small bribe to just...... leave him at the entrance to the borderlands, and none of the students cared. The way his mother not only left when he was a child but knew who he was the second she saw or even heard about him at the bordercamp, and never bothered to tell him, or show any interest in him whatsoever.Elliot has been taught, over and over again, that he is unwanted and uncared for. That he has to go it alone, and fill his own needs.

Elliot learns to respect Commander Woodsinger and to know that while she doesn’t necessarily love him, she knows him, and appreciates who and what he is, and sees value and strength in it. She, unlike his previous teachers and school professionals, understands him, and likes him, and values him. She’s not warm, but she’s a positive presence in his life, and part of him learning to believe he has value just as he is, and not just because he spitefully decided it to go against what everyone else has told him, but because it’s actually true.

He didn’t want his parents and his peers and the adults who have let him down to be right about this, so he does dream of being loved back. But he shows himself fully prepared to be the one who loves more in relationships, especially with Serene. He’s ready, at first, to take all she’ll give him, and revel in each part of it, even if it doesn’t match up to his love for her. It’s not until the moment he turns down Serene’s final advance (when she’s clearly settling for him) that he realizes how much he wants to be chosen first. And he believes that’s possible, and worth waiting for (and that in the meantime, he will help Serene up and help her find what she truly wants too).

Elliot knows Serene loves him. She shows him he deserves love, and in his devotion to her, Elliot begins to excel and challenge himself and learn to see his brand of obnoxiousness as something that might not be everyone’s taste but isn’t inherently bad. He trusts Serene to love him, at least as a friend, but he doesn’t trust that Luke will, because Luke reminds him of all of the kids who hurt him in the past.

And that’s why the slowest arc of this whole book is probably Elliot realizing that Luke.... actually likes him. Actually wants to be around him, and enjoys his presence, and even like-likes him - loves him even. It just can’t compute for him. And so we get basically an unreliable narration for most of the book regarding Luke. Elliot’s “aha” moment about Luke rewrites years of his life, shifting his understanding of so much of their lives together. And it solidifies Elliot’s discovery that he can be loved exactly as he is, obnoxious and annoying and all. He’s found people who love him for it, and they’ve chosen him, and they’re going to stick around.

[butch-reidentified]

I'm so so so sorry you're receiving shitty asks! Your wedding photos were beautiful, I wish you and your wife a happy forever <3

😭 thank you!! It's okay, I knew conservatives & TRAs would find their way here over that post. It's just frustrating because

1. I would never ever do that to someone. No matter how much I disagree with someone's view points, their celebrations of love and family are off limits in my mind yk? I mean I don't do ad hominems in general. At least I try really hard not to, and to keep disagreements focused strictly on the topic & making my points/deconstructing theirs.

2. I stick to radblr on here 99% of the time. I don't send hate mail, I don't harass or dogpile people (very rare exceptions in extreme cases like people who defend pedophilia), I don't stalk or dox or attack or insult. I rarely even engage in discourse with people on here. Tumblr is the one place I try to maintain a bit of a bubble. So it seems weird to come after me and attack me or try to start ridiculous rumors or drama, or take cheap shots about my or my wife's appearance. Not that they should do that to anyone of course.

The homophobia I expect and "comprehend" in a sense, because those people are always loud and self-righteous and have no boundaries. We had WBC protesters at our Pulse vigils in 2016. I'm used to that. The non-religious, non-homophobia stuff that's just straight up random personal attacks? That, I dont get.

When I made the first post with my face on that thread, someone accused me of being a male posing as butch for clout?? And after a non-wedding-related thread a few weeks back where I'd vaguely alluded to my wife's medical conditions, I got an anon mocking people with those types of conditions (and flaunting a genuinely embarrassing level of ignorance about such things) while also saying she should call herself nonbinary... bc she's a female with certain genetic medical complications who also doesn't perform femininity on a day to day basis, doesn't remove body hair or own a single skirt, etc.

My adoptive mother also has a genetic condition in the same general sphere, and so does a close friend from college. How can you possibly see nothing wrong with insisting people with such conditions (which often are devastating to learn you have, very stigmatized, and impact patients throughout their entire lives) aren't legitimate members of their sex? Honestly it's even a step worse to me than claiming gnc people aren't legitimate members of their sex. For a group who like to use intersex & related/similar health issues as pawns in discourse, they sure have zero respect for the actual human beings who live with those conditions.

Now, tbf, I knew posting our wedding pics wouldn't elicit an exclusively supportive and kind response. I mean who on earth wants to see homosexual feminist women truly HAPPY? My wife gave permission of course, and she understood that as well. Yet people continue to surprise me with the degree of unprompted and totally needless cruelty they display right out of the gate. It surprises me sometimes, and it definitely makes me feel disappointed in people, but it doesn't really upset me. Typically, they're only angry at my happiness because they haven't found their own, or they're immature/sheltered and have a black and white worldview that lacks the nuance of experience, age, and empathy.

I just hope that I'm right about that, and that most, or even some, of the people who do things like that will grow out of it at some point tbh

[papersasquatch]

Fiona and Cake Rant ahoy:

I’m gonna say it straight out: Fuck HBO, fuck Fiona and Cake.

(Tl;Dr Fiona and Cake is inherently transphobic in nature and the fact that they’re making a cash-grab spin-off from it really rubs me the wrong way)

Distant lands was a good continuation because the show clearly had more to offer after quickly getting dropped and losing out on many planned episodes before the finale had to come out.

The fact is that HBO max is beating a dead horse by attempting to continue Adventure Time at all beyond Distant Lands, and maybe I wouldn’t have such an issue with it if they weren’t dragging back the most cisnormative and mildly transphobic episodes they ever released (which were even iffy back in the early 2010s) into a full spin-off.

Beyond gender-swap episodes just being plain cisnormative in the first place (assuming that everyone is either male or female, and that they can evenly swap into the “opposite” gender even though AT has cannon NB characters), the amount of hypersexualization Fiona in particular undergoes in the spinoffs is unreal.

By the first Fiona and Cake episode, Finn is 13-14. He is chubby and wears normal clothes. Fiona, who we’re also supposed to believe is 13-14, is drawn to emphasize her curves and straight up put in a bunny outfit reminiscent of playboy magazines??? Another issue is the Ice Queen, and how she is also depicted as younger, curvier, and more hypersexualized, and Cake who often suffers the same issue (but since the cannon versions of these characters are adults, it’s not as big of an issue, but still the pattern is there.)

Idk what these more hypersexualized designs says about the makers of F&C, but the issue of painting transitioning (even in the case of “gender-swapping”) as more sexualized than the non-gender swapped narrative, ESPECIALLY IN THE CASE OF A LITERAL MINOR, it paints actual transitioning as sexual which is one of the biggest misconceptions that fuels hate towards transgender people in the western world, and it really urks me that even just subliminally, Fiona and Cake continue this trend.

And with the recent reveal of NB Marceline (their pronouns were announced to be She/They by crew), the fact that her “Gender Swap” appears exclusively masculine is another big yikes. Even if their regular form is relatively femme, she’s still often portrayed as GNC, and the fact that this doesn’t translate to their “gender swap” (if that would even be possible in the first place??) is another thing that bugs me.

Either way, Fiona and Cake was probably seen as more acceptable at the time because there wasn’t much available for trans people to see themselves in. I will admit, the original episodes are quite eggy, and can be something that a lot of trans people at the time enjoyed and related to. The issue is that with increasing leniency for proper representation in kid’s media, there is no excuse to continue pushing an over-sexualized genderbending narrative to the front lines. The fact that HBO is making this as a spin-off show since it has no impact on the original series proves that it is nothing but a cash grab, and sadly, one that will prey on the lovers of the original F&C, especially those who’s eggs were cracked with it.

In conclusion: No more Fiona and Cake. Society has progressed past the need for Fiona and Cake.

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

Could you please please please! Do Papas/cardiac and ghouls reacting to S/O being nervous to do anything because their trans, or coming out to them? (FTM and MTF)

First post in a long time and it’s not even my work! This is something @solofreakk answered for us FOREVER ago that I never even go around to pressing the 8 buttons to post it. How absolutely lazy can I be. But please enjoy (-kat) 

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*cracks my knuckles* alright Oingos and Boingos and Those Who Are Neither i’m gonna do my best at this as a trans/nonbinary guy but i definitely don’t speak for everyone’s experiences, so… if you don’t like this i apologize. I want everyone to be supportive of you so if they sound repetitive I’m sorry! And I apologize in advance for not including MTF :( I just feel like trans women and men can have some similar experiences but in the end I don’t think it’s my place to write for them. If there are any trans women out there writing stuff for Ghost i would say Please Shamelessly Shout Yourselves Out In The Replies Ladies.

Papa I: He’s a bit too old for most activities that would reveal you being trans imo. A pride parade is too crazy for him, he doesn’t have the energy to go to the pool or something. If you did he’d just lay there in the sun with a ghoul waiting to open an umbrella when he’s about to start getting too crisp. So if you didn’t go swimming, or take your shirt off, it literally would not raise any questions. He’s not in the water. He might make an offhand comment about how you should enjoy yourself but you could very easily tell him you’d prefer to be sitting with him, and you melting his old man heart like that kills any other question he might’ve even had. If you do end up explaining it to him later, he kindly reminds you there’s nothing wrong with knowing who you are. Encourages you to feel comfortable around him, you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide who you are because of your past. No further questions asked. You can say what you’d like about yourself but he won’t press or get in your business.

Papa II: This man is totally comfortable with nudity. You being opposite is… weird. He’ll ask. Are you insecure? You can say it’s something like that. He’ll be able to tell that you’re kind of dodging the question and he’ll leave it alone. But you’ve piqued his curiosity now. He’s gonna watch you just a little bit closer than he did before. He’ll suggest you guys take a swim, or go to the beach, and when you shoot that down too, he’ll ask. “Is there a reason why?” You can try to make excuses, or be vague, or say a half-truth, but those mismatched eyes see right through you. He probably already knows. When you ask him if he does, he’ll just wrap you in a nice strong Papa II Rare Tender Hug™. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about, you know. It’s okay to decide you’re not what everyone said you were. It’s part of becoming your own person.” Would probably be more bold in asking what your future plans are for yourself. Later on quietly reminds you not to bind for too long, or helps you with shots, or is making sure you’re laid up in luxury if you get top surgery. Supports you even if you’re gnc and don’t bind or don’t plan to transition and would impart his death glare upon anyone who dared to misgender you or treat you poorly.

Papa III: Hope no one shoots me down for saying “Papa III trans man” but *eyes emoji*. He’s gonna recognize your behavior immediately. You sweat at the idea of going to the pool or the beach, you don’t wanna change in front of him, you get nervous if someone calls you pretty instead of handsome. He’ll see you very very discreetly tugging at your binder, or taking deep breaths. And he just knows. And he’s elated. He’s like “OH I AM GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL SO HANDSOME.” Immediately deploys plan “Compliment Anon ‘Til He Dies”. He’s telling you that your hair looks great today, your laugh is so masculine, I love the way your arms look, That shirt is so handsome on you, I’m lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. Anything it takes to have you know how great you are. If you’re busy melting over the compliments, you might not immediately realize he’s caught on. You’ll probably think he’s just doing his regular Papa III schmoozing. Eventually, it clicks in your head. He’s lauding on you ‘cause he knows. So because he seems so cool with it, you finally work up the nerve to tell him. And he smiles at you and he’s taking his shirt off and whoa whoa WHOA HEY IT’S WORK HOURS MAN- oh. Oh. I see. That’s why. He buttons his shirt back up and pats you on the head and asks if you wanna get top surgery too, and if you say yes he’s literally writing you a check on the spot. He wants you to feel as comfortable in your body as he does in his and if you have any dysphoria woes he is all ears. He’s seriously like ride or die for you bro.

Cardinal Copia/Papa IV: He thinks your nervous behavior is totally normal, only because he is also nervous all the time. So he doesn’t even read into it. He’s totally clueless. You don’t wanna go swimming? Okay, yeah, actually he doesn’t really want to do it either. He’s pale, he’d just get burnt. Let’s stay inside all day in our pajamas. You don’t wanna put your pajamas on in front of him? That is also ok, hell let’s change in different rooms. You don’t even have to explain yourself, he just Gets It™. Eventually if you start wondering why he hasn’t asked about your odd behavior, you’ll just ask him. “Did you notice that I’m kinda… weird, about some stuff?” He’ll say he’s weird about stuff too, why should he pry into your personal business? So you press on and tell him you���re trans. You don’t want anyone else to know, for a myriad of reasons. You might start rambling about it, complaining about stuff, talking about what you want. And he’ll just… listen. Nod sometimes to let you know he’s hearing you, and you can keep going if you want. Finally you’ll end it with an exasperated and maybe slightly embarrassed sigh, but before you can apologize he’s pulling you into a hug. You are free to talk about it as much as you want, especially if you don’t tell anyone else. You’ve got all this stuff weighing on your mind and no one to vent it to, and he’s flattered you finally felt comfortable enough to let him know something so personal. 

Dewdrop: Dare I say it… I headcanon Dewdrop as trans too… He’s much more like me though, feisty and kinda gnc. Like III, he’s gonna catch onto your behavior immediately. He’s not gonna make any moves to let you know that he knows, though. Just quietly be in your corner. Well, as quiet as Dew gets. He’s gonna… violently be in your corner. If he finds out someone misgendered you or committed some related act he considers a heinous crime, they’re losing some teeth. He’ll take a chunk out of them if someone isn’t there to rein him in. Eventually when you confide in him that you’re trans, he’s telling you that’s cool. You ask him why he’s so chill about it and he’s just smirking at you. “What…?” You ask. “Seriously, what? Why- ooohhh…” You’re free to not bind around him because most of the time, he doesn’t. He’s not gonna judge you for anything. Whether you wanna be traditionally masculine or be lax about gender norms, he’s gonna tell you you’re cool as Hell no matter what. Admires your courage in coming out to him and will take your secret to the grave.

Aether: First may I start this off by saying I may or may not have asked Aether, like irl, if he said “trans rights”. To which Aether kindly and genuinely said, “Does [Aether] say “trans rights”? Of course trans rights!” So there you have it Fosters and Peoples. Mr. Quintessential Ghoul himself did indeed say trans rights and I’ve never been happier to have asked someone that. I digress… He’s not gonna focus too much on odd behavior or nerves. It’s not because he’s got his head in the clouds, it’s just because this is a Judgement Free Zone™. If and/or when you come out to him, expect him to say, “Hell yeah, you do what’s right for you!” He’s got your back. If you want help with something, say an outfit or you need a new binder, he’s gonna help you figure it out. If you ask him not to tell anyone else, his lips are sealed. 

Mountain: He is so used to being taller than everyone else so if you’re a short king (like me 5’3 man gang rise up [but not too high]) that does not make him ask any questions. He’s also out of your business when it comes to how you dress, or messing with your shirt, or not wanting to do certain activities, etc. He just… it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s that he’s chill about everything. So chill in fact that eventually one day you just casually mention it. And he’s like, “Neat, you have lore.” Which is hilarious. He’s probably likely to ask if you’re making sure not to wear your binder for too long. He wants you to take good care of yourself, y’know, you’re really cool and you should treat your body kindly. He’ll ask if anyone else knows and if you tell him you’d rather they not find out immediately, he’s already giving you a thumbs up and making sure any question directed at your gender is immediately shot down.

Swiss: Swiss is too focused on having a good time and being good to everyone who deserves kindness to worry about why or why not you don’t want to go to the pool with them. You’ve got your reasons and that’s enough, although he’ll sorely miss you because he could use the extra help in fending Dew off in the water gun fight that most definitely will end in bloodshed if Aether doesn’t step in. Eventually he’ll convince you to maybe go, but not before you cave and tell him you can’t be seen with your shirt off. He’s smart enough to know what that means. No worries! And you know what? In solidarity he just won’t take his off, either. Will support you regardless of how you choose to present yourself and will sometimes casually gift you a new shirt or something, “because I think you’d look really handsome in it.”

Rain: Tender boy. He literally would not pry or push you to tell him anything you didn’t seem like you wanted to say. If you come out to him, that’s completely on your terms. I think he might eventually have a feeling, but he’s not going to make assumptions about you and will let you tell him when you’re ready, and even if you never do, that’s ok too. When you do tell him, he’s completely supportive and won’t make you feel any less of a man about yourself. Is a bit sad to know that you may struggle with dysphoria and he wants you to know that you’re a wonderful person, inside and out, even if you don’t always see it.

Cirrus: She notices your odd behavior, but she’s polite and chooses not to say anything about it. She doesn’t want to make you feel like she’s judging you or scare you or make you uncomfortable. She probably doesn’t flat out make assumptions about you, but she does think about it occasionally. Eventually when you come out to her, she completely understands. Sings her praises about how nice it is that you trust her enough to tell her something so personal about yourself, and says she’s thankful to have such a great person in her life. Also she’s always been your protective mom friend, but if you need anyone to get punched for saying anything transphobic, just let her know. Mama bear has got you. Mama bear has got claws. Hell, Cumulus will even help beat someone up. She doesn’t even need to know the reason. If Cirrus is verbally or physically abusing someone that’s good enough reason for her. You now have two powerful and protective mom friends, use this power for good.

Cumulus: She’s not gonna notice if you’re acting nervous or weird about anything. She’s focused on hanging out with you and having a good time and making sure you’re having a good time and that fun things are happening. If you go to the beach and don’t take your shirt off, not weird. Neither of you are even in the water, you’re probably making an impressive sand castle on top of a sleeping Mountain. If you’re at the pool, she’s okay with sitting on the side talking your ear off about anything under the sun (which currently includes all the other ghouls as it was a family trip to the pool). She wouldn’t notice if you tugged at your binder or had a higher voice or anything someone might think would be conspicuous. If and/or when you eventually come out to her, she’s like “Ooohhh, okay!” And honestly? She might forget. And then remember. And then forget again, and remember again. It’s just another thing about you, like your hair colour or what music you like. Doesn’t make you any less wonderful to her, and wouldn’t change anything about your relationship.

- @solofreakk