#but <3 i never had the motivation to do it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
inmyheaddd · 2 days ago
Text
walkin’ out the door with your bags — part 6
⤷ “i’m not the type to run, i know we’re having fun,”
summary: you and gigi are peacefully enjoying your day, when you find out, grayson’s… back? and he wants to talk. what could go wrong? wc: 3.0k masterlist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5
Tumblr media
14 years old… 
you found him hiding in the library.  
he was slumped in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, head buried in his arms. at first, you weren’t sure it was him—grayson hawthorne never looked so… small. 
his usually pristine shirt slightly wrinkled like he’d been tugging at the hem, and it wasn’t tucked in. he didn’t look straight at you when you stepped in, but he didn’t tell you to leave either.  
“what do you want?” his voice cracked, but he tried to sound cold.  
you didn’t answer. instead, you sat down beside him, legs crossed, like it was the most normal thing in the world. 
he blinked at you, waiting for an explanation, but you just shrugged. years of knowing each other, and it always went down like this. 
“company.” you picked a random book off the nearest shelf and flipped it open. “you can pretend i’m not here.”
he didn’t reply.
minutes passed. long enough that you thought maybe he really would ignore you. at one point, you began actually reading the book you were pretending to read, and nearly forgot about the boy beside you.
but then, out of nowhere, he spoke.
“i don’t know what to do.” he admitted slowly. “there’s this girl… emily,” he said, his voice low, and you felt your heart beat faster. “and… my brother. jameson.”
your chest tightened, though you weren’t sure why. your kept your gaze fixed on the pages of your book, but your hands had stopped turning the pages.
“what about them?” you asked carefully, glancing at him for a second.
he ran a hand through his hair. “she’s… complicated. and jameson—he doesn’t think. he just jumps into things, never stops to think what it might do to everyone else.”
you hesitated, breath hitching as you studied the way he wouldn’t look straight into your eyes. whatever this was, clearly meant a lot.
he continued, looking down at the floor. “it gets repetitive. jameson, emily—they don’t think about the damage until it’s too late. and then they leave me to clean it up. and stupidly, for some reason, i do. i always do.”
you’ve seen grayson sad before, but this was different. he looked… lost. and angry. and for someone like grayson, who always carried himself like he had the whole world in order, it was jarring.
“you’re allowed to be mad, you know,” you said.
that made him pause. “i’m not mad,” he said, but the words sounded like a blatant lie.
your shoulders were barely touching , but the act alone felt larger than anything else. 
you tilted your head, a soft smile growing on your face. “okay, then you’re… frustrated? dissapointed? annoyed? irritated? pick your adjective.”
that earned the tiniest flicker of a smile, and your chest felt a little lighter, but then it disappeared just as quickly. he looked at you then, and something about the way his eyes searched your face made your breath catch.
“sometimes, i think you’re the only person who actually sees me,” he said quietly.
your heart stuttered, and for a second, you couldn’t think of anything to say. 
but then you smiled, “of course i see you,” you rolled your eyes jokingly like he hadn’t just sincerely confirmed that he really did see you as a friend, after years of just feeling like you pestered him. 
your cheeks reddened, “i’m your friend, that’s what i’m here for.” 
“but, you know,” you continued, “you’re surrounded by people who care about you,” you said softly, taking the focus away from you, and back to being there for grayson. “just let yourself see it. don’t push them away.”
his head snapped up at that, his sharp eyes meeting yours. “but people never just… stay.” he mumbled. “they have their own lives, their own motives.”
you stayed. you always would. “that doesn’t mean you have to shut everyone out,” you said, your voice steadier now.
“not everyone’s going to hurt you, grayson. but you won’t know that if you keep closing the door before anyone gets close. i mean, i annoyed you for so many years straight even when you pushed me away.” you said. 
“not everyone has my extreme level of patience and willingness to accept moody brooding.” you joked to lighten the moment, but there was truth behind it, he couldn’t expect people to stick around if he pushed them away.
he stared at you for a long moment, and something in his expression cracked, like he wanted to believe you but didn’t quite know how yet. 
he looked back at the floor, “you never actually irritated me,” he admitted, “and i never hated you. perhaps you’re right, i don’t… i don’t like to let people in.” 
you shrugged casually, “i’m always right.” 
he looked at you with a newfound softness in his eyes. “you’re annoyingly persistent, you know that?” he said finally, your shoulders still brushing against each other. 
“oh, i know.” you grinned. “if i wasn’t, we wouldn’t be friends right now.” you said with a small smile. “someone’s gotta stick around to remind you you’re not as alone as you think.”
for a while, neither of you said anything. grayson leaned his head back against the wall, letting out a long, quiet breath. 
that was when you knew he was replaying your words, letting them sink in—even if he wouldn’t say it outloud. 
— 
present
after days of confusion and radio silence from grayson, you finally told yourself that you were done overthinking. gigi had dragged you to your favorite ice cream shop for a much-needed distraction. 
the two of you sat at your usual table near the front, the smell of waffle cones and the soft hum of background music lulling you back into some sense of normalcy. that was until gigi leaned closer, her voice a hushed whisper.
“don’t look now, but…” gigi trailed off, her eyes going behind you once again. “grayson is kind of, um, here. and sitting behind you.” 
considering gigi had made very careful effort to not even mention his name around you — even when you persisted you didn’t care— hearing graysons name come from her lips stunned you for a moment, then you realized what she had just said. 
“what?” you whispered in shock, and then you turned around before you could think it twice. 
there were quite a few people in the shop, so there was quiet chatter mixed with the background music, but it all seemed to silence. 
but there he was, grayson hawthorne, sitting in the back of the empty icecream shop, glasses on typing on his computer.
‘who did he think he was?’ you thought, ‘coming to our— my place? the one that i introduced him to?’ 
you focused on the anger so you wouldn’t feel anything else. 
what on earth was he doing here? who the hell comes to an ice cream shop and doesn’t even get anything? and does what, office work? and who—
he looked up through his glasses, and you realized to late that you were sort of… full blown staring. 
he met your eyes for the briefest of seconds as you turned your head back around. 
“holy cow…” gigi mumbled as she looked down at her icecream, “he’s giving you a major longing stare right now.”
“okay,” you hummed, raising your eyebrows momentarily in lieu of a shrug that he would he able to see, “i don’t care.”
“sure you don’t,” she replied knowingly, dragging her spoon through her melting sundae. you gave her a look that said you didn’t agree, and that you seriously did not care, but she didn’t say anything. 
a beat passed before gigi suddenly grinned. “okay. in five seconds, i’m giving him a major angry glare.” she mumbled under her breath. 
“gigi, do not.”
“three…
“seriously, don’t.”
“two… one. i’m doing it!”
“gigi!”
she tilted her head back up, and bless her heart, gave her best attempt at a seething glare at grayson. 
it was sort of impossible for her to look angry with her wide blue eyes, no matter how hard she furrowed her brows. 
and she didn’t let up at it for a few seconds, then raised her eyebrows — half surprised and half amused. “ha,” she grinned to herself and fisted the air. “he looked away first. loser.” 
he was probably just crazily confused, you reckoned. 
“okay,” you chuckled under your breath, your cheeks reddening by the second. “um, should we leave now?”
“no,” gigi whined, taking a bite of her icecream. “that’ll make it obvious we’re mad. besides, i haven’t finished my icecream.” 
“well, i think that look you gave him made it more obvious,” you told her, and she only laughed as she shook her head. “but alright.” 
it wasn’t long before you left. you didn’t even have an appetite any more, and you were too overly aware of a presence behind you to focus on anything else. gigi finished her icecream promptly. 
the drive home was quiet. gigi hummed along to the radio, her mood as bright as ever, but you couldn’t shake the tightness in your chest. 
your thoughts churned, questions you’d been trying to bury for a few days swirling all over again.
“you’re quiet,” gigi said after a while, her tone soft. she glanced at you, concerned, but you only shook your head, trying to force a small smile.
“just tired,” you mumbled.
gigi didn’t push, and you could tell she didn’t buy it.
you pulled into the driveway and sat there for a moment, the car engine ticking softly as it cooled. gigi patted your arm before grabbing her bag and heading inside.
you smiled and nodded, muttering something like ‘i’ll meet you inside,’ and you stayed behind for a moment, staring at the steering wheel.
your phone was put on silent, then you scrolled through your notifications. 
grayson 
— Hi, I believe I saw you and Gigi today
you
— yeah haha i think gigi told me she saw you  i thought you were gone for 8 days? — it’s nice to see you back
grayson 
— Likewise. — I think we should talk, It’s been long overdue. 
a scoff escaped before you could stop it. the audacity.
your fingers moved before your brain could catch up.
you
— ok — talk then 
grasyon
— Would you be alright with talking in person?
you 
— yeah sure whatever — where?
grayson
— I’ll come to you.
you
— maybe not — i don’t want to disturb gigi
grayson
— Our park spot, then?
you
— ok
your heart slammed in your chest. you sat there for a moment, staring at the screen wordlessly, trying to process what just happened. 
our? how could he even still use that word?
this was happening, you were going to talk to grayson for real this time. you anticipated it wouldn’t end good. things with him were rarely easy.
you put on your headphones to numb your thoughts, pulled on a hoodie, and made your way out the house. 
the playground was completely empty, which was usually how it was when you and grayson used to go. the sun was already beginning to set when you walked out of your house, and it was fully dark once you arrived, making your way toward your spot. the bench.
it wasn’t anything special—just a worn wooden bench tucked away at the edge of the playground. but it had been yours. you and grayson’s.
he was already there when you arrived, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, staring at the ground like it might have the answers he needed.
you sat down on the opposite end of the bench, keeping a deliberate distance. “okay,” you said, crossing your arms. “talk.” the park was eerily quiet, the air cooling rapidly as the sun finally disappeared behind the trees. the bench felt cold under your fingers as you sat down, the weight of the moment settling in.
his eyes flicked to yours, and for the first time, you thought you saw a hint of guilt there. 
you were both silent for a few seconds, before you looked away, down at the floor.
“fine, if you won’t talk, i will.” you muttered. 
“grayson,” you sighed, “you can’t just—” you started, your voice breaking slightly before you caught yourself. 
you cleared your throat, willing the tears to stay put. “you can’t just disappear and then show up like nothing happened. like i’m supposed to just... what? forget it?”
he inhaled, then hesitated. “you know, i never meant it to be like this. i didn’t mean for it to feel like that.” he said quietly, his tone so calm that it just made you more angry.
“feel like what, grayson?” you finally snapped your head towards his. “like you were ignoring me? like you couldn’t be bothered to let me know what was going on? because that’s exactly what it felt like.”
his jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything.
“that’s it?” you scoffed, followed by a bitter laugh as you sat up straight. “you disappear, you come back, and all you’ve got is ‘i didn’t mean for it to feel like that?’”
he wielded silence like a weapon, just like he always had.
you continued, still. “what’s going on with you? you’re acting so— so different, i barely even recognize you.”
he let out a breath as he looked away, running a hand through his hair. “please, don’t make this harder than it already is,” he started, his voice calm but careful. “yes, we are good friends, but we’ve tarnished that too far for us to ever be simply friends again.”
“what? grayson,” you said through a forced laugh, “what are you even saying right now?” you knew precisely what he was saying. 
“you’re a good person.” he said, almost sounding like he was begging for you to see his point, “you’re a lovely person, the most caring and funniest person i’ve met. you deserve better, i’m not the person for you.” 
“grayson, what is wrong with you?” you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity at what you were hearing, but you were so frustrated at his… selfishness.
“i want you, you want me, right? it’s that simple! just let us be us.”
“it’s never that simple.” he shook his head, that one strand falling back into his face. his brows furrowed slightly like the words hurt him to say.
“it is that simple! you’re making no sense, just— just stop.” you stood up, and he followed, fear flashing in his eyes momentarily. 
you took a slow step away from him.
“you kissed me! you kissed me.” your voice crackled, and you swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to keep going. “if you knew from day one that you couldn’t do this, you should’ve just spared me the effort and left me alone.”
he looked at you like you’d shot a dagger through his heart, though his eyes were the only thing that showed it. were you being unfair? probably. but in your eyes, you had every right to be. 
as much as both of you hated to admit, his eyes were far too easy for you to read. they were like a language only you were fluent in, like you could have a whole conversation without even speaking.
now, all they said was pain. 
“you’re the only thing making things more difficult, gray.” you hated the way your voice trembled. 
low blow after low blow. but he deserved it. 
all those nights you’d spent together? he knew you inside and out, what hurts you, what doesn’t, and exactly how you love.
he knew all of that, and he still thought that leaving because things were difficult was going to be the right thing.
this couldn’t be real.
“look at us, don’t you see it?” he motioned between the two of you, like whatever was happening was a tangible thing he could see. “we’re fighting like this, and we’re not even together. we’re going to ruin each other.”
ruin each other? is that what he thought? god knows how many years of friendship, a pretty perfect friendship too, and he thought making something official would lead to you ruining each other? 
you weren’t fighting with him, you were trying to fight for him. for the chance of you actually being something more. 
“we can’t do this.” his voice felt so detached, but his eyes looked so hurt at the same time. he didn’t getto feel hurt, not when it was his fault. “we’ll just end up hurting eachother, and i don’t want to hurt you.”
you nodded silently, willing your tears back. every inch of you you wanted to scream in his face, “you already have! you coward.”
he was doing nothing but hurt you these past few days.
instead, you nodded, biting the inside of your cheek to keep the tears at bay.
“yeah,” you said, pressing your lips together as you nodded again. “alright. i get it. that’s it then?”
grayson’s eyes narrowed for a split second like he was confused. 
was he surprised? did he think you were going to hang on longer? because you weren’t. you’d spent far too much energy on him. you always saw him as someone worth spending you time on, someone worth trying to figure out, someone you wanted to know.
but you understood now: he didn’t want you to figure him out because he didn’t even know who he was himself. he was scared. but that wasn’t an excuse; you were terrified, and you still were. 
love had always been your fatal flaw, the one thing you were unsure of, but you were willing to dive in head first because it was grayson. 
he just didn’t feel as deeply though. 
you didn’t want to figure him out, and you didn’t want to know anything about him anymore. 
he didn’t answer right away. instead, he looked at you, and for a moment, his mask slipped. his eyes—those stupid, stupid eyes— almost made you want to feel sorry for him. he looked vulnerable, but you were too angry to let it affect you this time.
“i… yes.” grayson finally said, sounding unsure of himself for once in his life. “i suppose that’s it.”
“good,” you nodded as your crossed your arms, “because i don’t want to hear what you have to say ever again.“ 
he reached his hands out but quickly let his arms fall back, curling his fingers into a fist. 
he looked at you like he didn’t know what to say, his mouth opening and closing before he finally settled on just staying silent.
you still felt like there was a million unspoken words that needed to be said, but you turned and walked away. 
for once, you didn’t wait to see if he’d try again.
you willed your feet to move and not think about how he looked behind you, because if you did, even for a second, you had a feeling you’d turn right back. 
Tumblr media
a/n: guys it gets better i swear they’ll be happier than ever soon 🙏 taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable
@anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07
 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear 
@clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams 
@hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee
95 notes · View notes
srbachchan · 3 days ago
Text
DAY 6119
Jalsa, Mumbai Nov 19, 2024/Nov 20 Tue/Wed 3:12 pm
Birthdays exist .. birthdays be brought for the greetings .. but even though none today to mention, they all remain in our hearts and minds ..
Work continues and with the required reverence it has always deserved .. and may it ever be so .. work without the audience is a misnomer ..
They come they cheer they give recognition and we get motivated and inspired to give them more than what they give us and mean to us ..
And they do each KBC session .. my love and gratitude as ever ..
❤️
I present to them with tongue caught between the lips .. and feel embarrassed to have done that .. but it is an expression of joy and at times deep wonder ..
Tumblr media
And then the embarrassed feel and look ..
Tumblr media
... and as ever the encourage to the contestants to be in smile ..
Tumblr media
yesyesyes .. YES .. smile and the World shall smile with you .. !!!
BUT i smile today and with pride and great emotion for the Son and my Abhishek for his work .. assiduous , tremendous joy and the appreciation of one of the very known and complemented film critics and journalists - Shri Subhash Jha ..
Amitji, I can't wait for you to see what Abhishek has done
The dedication, the sincerity
This is a new beginning for him
I do .. because I do .. I show because I show .. I admire because I admire .. I express because I express .. !!
क्या कर लोगे !!!??
AND THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE ..
TO BE DIFFERENT ..
for be it known .. at the helm of difference , it is they that have caused fresh new thoughts and inventions .. and are remembered to date ..
normal is normalcy .. it is also a norm and one that brings faith in the normal .. but the DIFFERENT have ever had a renowned and remembered place ..
Being different is often viewed as a double-edged sword, but it carries undeniable appeal, earning respect and even popularity in many situations. In a world driven by conformity, standing out demonstrates courage and authenticity—traits that resonate deeply with others. Whether it’s through personality, talents, or ideas, being different can make one a trailblazer in their field.
Take Steve Jobs, for example. His unconventional approach to technology and design didn’t align with industry norms, yet it revolutionized how we interact with devices today. His difference wasn’t just appealing; it earned him global respect and admiration.
Being different often involves taking risks, but it garners respect when it comes from a place of genuine conviction. Society values those who are authentic and offer fresh perspectives. This uniqueness also drives popularity, as people are drawn to the new and the extraordinary.
Ultimately, being different appeals because it challenges the status quo, fosters innovation, and creates connections. It’s not just about standing out but about making an impactful difference in the world.
YOU SHALL BE .. ABHISHEK .. BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU HAVE BEEN .. a creative mind that has ever done attempted and succeeded in what you created and believed in your work ..
"The only way to do something in depth is to work hard. And the only way to work hard is to find something you're passionate about. And the only way to find something you're passionate about is to try a lot of different things." - Steve Jobs
"Don't be afraid of being different. Be afraid of being the same as everyone else." -
"Different is beautiful. Don't be afraid to be yourself." -
"The most beautiful thing you can be is yourself." -
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -
"Being different isn't a bad thing. It means you're brave enough to be yourself." -
Love to you Abhishek .. WAGTFTW !!! ❤️
Pa
Tumblr media
91 notes · View notes
keiksy-cake · 2 days ago
Text
Lunatic Blue Ch 9 (Gore TW || Hetalia Doujinshi)
Tumblr media
YEAHHHHH AFTER 4 YEARS. 4 YEARS. 4 YEARS.
木綿ドゥフ does it again with another very incredible chapter~ I missed this series so much! The wait was definitely worth it, this chapters as great as the others! I wish I could've finished it faster, I even put My Arika on hold lol, but I had assignments and such D;
There's no gore in this chapter but it's still full of horror and suspense!
If you haven't read this series yet, I HIGHLY recommend it, definitely one of my top top favorites, idk if I like any other more than it. Altho, I started doing a lot to "clean" the pages, which I didn't in the beginning. How much I've grown in both cleaning and translating within this 3 year gap is greatly exemplified in this series... Which is great, but in other words, that also means the first chapters are very drastically... I've been saying for a long time I want to re-do them, I started re-doing the first chapter a couple years back but never finished lol but finally the other day I decided to update it, posting what I have at least. Lets hope my renewed motivation is enough to actually finished...
Since it's been so long, I recommend even those who have read this series to re-read it before reading this one. Anyway, sorry for the long intro! Please enjoy! Here's a list of the prev chapters too:
Lunatic Blue 1
Lunatic Blue 2
Lunatic Blue 3
Lunatic Blue 4
Lunatic Blue 5
Lunatic Blue 6
Lunatic Blue 7
Lunatic Blue 8
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I was too lazy to actually redraw this last page, sorry >.> Look at him mad broody tho lol
Also, I accidentally made this and thought it looked cool so I thought I'd add it in lol:
Tumblr media
Notes:
Rather than "sir", child Alfred calls Arthur "nii-san" which means "older brother", but it's also largely used to refer to any older young man.
Rather than "the excitement" (of space), America says "romance", but I was afraid any young and/or American readers wouldn't get that it's meant in an excitement sense, not like love kind of romance.
I'm still not that great at translating, I had to guess for a lot of the sound effects bc English onomatopoeia sucks D;
The expression I tled to "prideful" literally is "hates to lose"
If anyone wants to make a clean version
I did not make this series, I'm just your friendly neighborhood translator~
43 notes · View notes
ellaspore · 2 days ago
Text
High School Frenemy is taking over my brain and I cannot stop thinking about it 
I think of Saint in the past, alcoholic father, absent mother, unmoored and unrestrained, his anger festering inside himself, violence the only way to let his feelings out
And the way that Shin is his anchor, his everything, his motivation purpose and will to live, the thing most precious to him, the only person to really care about him and take care of him
And the way in the past, no matter the importance Shin had for him, how he was unable to articulate himself out loud, to share his love, his care, the way he needed to use excuses to do things for Shin
The way Saint showed his love through actions and his presence
The way his fear of Shin leaving him transformed into anger, into hurting Shine and became the biggest mistake of his life
I think of Shin in the past, absent father, a mother who left him to care for his little sister. The only person always there for him cheering his games, sharing his dream, being Saint.
How Saint was there to always take care of him in his darkest moments, to keep him from being hurt, to make him laugh
How Shin was always saying how important Saint was for him, how he was always there to save Saint from himself
And then it all went to shit and they were both left in shambles
Saint with his guilt and inability to even face Shin because of what he did 
Shin hurt and alone without his best friend there to help him
How their relationship was changed by the trauma and the absence, how it became this powerful thing they couldn’t let go of, this hurt, this yearning, this unhealed festering wound, kept deep within themselves 
The way Saint couldn’t stay away from Shin and he tried to see him but was sent away by his mother, and the way he had to just accept it because he did not deserve Shin even if it was what he wanted and needed the most and how depressed it made him and how he kept trying to find indirect ways to see Shin, because even a glance would have been better than nothing
How Saint spent three years in a half-dead state, atoning for what he did to the person who mattered the most, never resorting to violence again, being beaten and taking it because it was what he deserved
How Shin named his gang Tsunami because he hadn’t left even then, how all his friendships never reached the same level as the one with Saint, how there was always a wall between himself and the rest of the world, how nobody could take care of him but he took care of everyone
How he resorted to violence because he couldn’t take the loneliness and anger anymore
How in a way he took Saint’s worst traits and made them a part of himself
And then I think of when they meet again, under the rain, under the same umbrella, how it felt like a miracle for Saint, his dreams coming true, Shin in his reach again, how he had another chance and he would take everything if it meant being with Shin again
And how Shin felt betrayed and was angry because he couldn't trust Shin, he couldn’t believe he wouldn’t run away 
And so Saint had to prove it all, prove his resistance his willingness to bear it all and in the end Shin could do nothing but capitulate because he missed Saint more than he missed soccer, more than his lost future because Saint gives him meaning just as much as Shin gives meaning to Saint
How the tables turned and now it’s Saint declaring his love for the world to see because he bottled his feelings for 3 years and he can’t contain them anymore and if he doesn’t get another chance at least he was able to say it all.
And how after they cleared the air they feel alive, like different people, able to smile freely, using every excuse to spend time together, to touch each other, to test and see that this is real, they’re together again
And I’m in love with how they feel like platonic soulmates but there is still something more, a romantic undertone just waiting to happen when they’re on steadier ground sure of who they are, where they stand, because they are too happy to find each other again to risk it all so soon
They’re a potential just waiting for the right time to happen
40 notes · View notes
howlsofbloodhounds · 2 days ago
Note
I need to see more content of Color matching Killer's freak, and not just in terms of suggestive themes.
Obviously he's not direct or loud about it, obviously it's not easy reading that off of a person like him, but I imagine Killer would pick up early that Color's a bit of a freak cause why the hell else would he be trying to help him so much? Freak recognizes freak. Freakception. It's just kind freak on fire vs knife freak, that's what this has become.
Color is the subtle kind of freak. There is always a 50/50 chance that if Killer's got an urge, Color's gonna indulge it and act like he always does in the process. He is a "go with the flow" kind of guy on the surface until he decides to rip off that facade. His friends already know how freakish he is to a certain extent but it's people like Killer, Epic, and Delta that truly do vibe with it in their own ways.
Killer would want more of it and look for ways to encourage Color's "dark side", Delta would compete with it, and Epic would think of any punchline to add to how hilarious he finds it.
This is a group of equally as unhinged men.
The signs of Color's freak would be evident to Killer long before he decides to take up Color's offer in leaving Nightmare behind. He would pick up those signs and use them against him, specifically during arguments or fights where Killer accuses him of having crude ulterior motives.
And Color giving him little to no reactions on that basis would not only infuriate Killer but also fascinate him even more than he already was. Cause he can't always tell whether or not a comment set something off in Color's mind, or if there really was nnothing.
And then as time continues to pass, that is when Killer's observations start to make sense. He and Color are a lot more alike than he previously thought, well beyond the "we both used to be Sans and got fucked over by the same stupid kid" commonality.
They both have deeply-rooted trauma from two of the same fucking child. While Color was eventually provided with the resources to start healing, Killer was routinely denied those resources.
Perhaps Color has one of those warped bouts of hyena-like laughter too, except while Killer has it casually, it's a red flag coming from Color as it's indicative of a panic attack, complete breakdown, or weak attempt at stress relief following either of those things.
They both struggle at showing vulnerability because of their trauma. Killer hides that in multiple shitty ways while Color has had several years of therapy and a solid support system and because of that developed a stable "fake it till you make it" mask for only the worst case scenarios where he can't catch a break soon enough. (He's had to use that mask A LOT in dealing with Killer before he left Nightmare)
Think Stage 3 doesn't have enough reasons to regard Color as a source of safety? They've both got distinct animalistic traits and behaviors, and Color dedicated the patience and time to let Stage 3 learn that at its own pace. Stage 3 finds a mutual understanding with Color that it can't with anyone else BECAUSE of the effort and comfort Color provided.
And what about the fact that they've both lost their sense of identity and since gaining freedom had to gradually make a new one with the shards they managed to salvage? They both aim to keep some aspects of "Sans", but can never truly be "Sans" again. They've both grown past the point of ever being the exact same as they were decades, perhaps hundreds of years before.
In various ways both before and after escaping their traumas, they are both in constant physical, mental, and emotional pain. Some conditions simply have no cure, no medication to soothe their symptoms.
They are so similar yet so different. So of course Color would match Killer's freak. Under calm and casual circumstances he'd agree with (Stage 2) Killer's accusation of him being a masochist and Killer would be caught off guard because he was aiming to make Color angry. But instead Color gives him that simple admission with no strings attached.
Like golly gee fuck, Killer, it's almost like he has to be one in order to cope with the amount of agony he deals with every day. Speak for yourself, motherfucker.
Tumblr media
Unhinged freaky old men is where it’s at.
People look at the chromatic crew and think Color’s the odd one out, that he’s the hinged one, but definitely not.
Bro probably finds it comforting and reassuring when killer licks away his tears 💀. Mans would be so willing to indulge nearly anything killer wants to try or do, and he’d likely enjoy most of it.
Need more of Color matching Killer’s freak and rolling with it. Wonder if Color ever surprises Killer sometimes.
Tumblr media
46 notes · View notes
faiell · 2 days ago
Text
yapping about fics and commenting
sorry to yap but work is boring today and tumblr isn't blocked on my work computer LOL
ok it's abt that post where the writer friend stopped writing because they weren't getting the comments/kudos they wanted.
i'm like. an overeager fandom person. like i cannot get into a fandom without wanting to meet new people and make friends. i love yapping about whatever silly gay idiots i'm hyperfixating over. i'm all about community, and sharing the joy of fandom, and all that fun positive stuff.
i don't post my art for stats but like. that means nothing coming from me tbh. i get stats. i can't accurately predict what would happen if i stopped getting notes on my art, but i would probably keep drawing and keep posting, just maybe less confidently, and less often. i recognize that stats make it much easier and while it’s not my primary motivation, it definitely motivates me to keep posting.
and yet. for years, i never commented on fic. i think i left kudos? and i saw posts like this all the time about how writers were so sad they didn't get comments. and i would feel super guilty about it all the time. but i still wouldn't do it! it sounds stupid, but i would feel pressured. if i liked a fic a lot, it felt even more difficult to comment, because i thought i would have to somehow give back to the author everything that fic gave to me. i wanted to craft the perfect comment that could perfectly encapsulate everything a fic made me feel. and that was way too much pressure so i would just not say anything.
when i got into drarry, i started reading a shit ton of fic. and i still wouldn't comment. i left maybe... 2 or 3 comments, maybe, i think. i can't remember. but i had a lot to say and i WANTED the writers to hear that i had read it and liked it. i just... didn't comment! u know what i did instead? i just fucking straight up DM'd writers on discord and started gushing to them that i liked their fic. somehow i was confident enough to do that, but writing a comment still felt like too much pressure. ?? i don't understand it either, but in my head it felt like a writing assignment, but when I was in DMs it felt more like a conversation and so there wasn't any pressure to make it "good"? idk!! it's very weird.
then i wrote and posted my first complete fic. just a oneshot, nothing special, and i was like. UNREASONABLY nervous about posting it. like. i am a confident person, okay? i was going to make a burner AO3 account and post it under a different name so nobody would know it was me, and then never mention it to anyone except MAYBE super close friends. i got talked out of doing that (thanks i feel a bit silly about considering that now). and then i received my first comment on it, which was basically a two-liner where someone said they liked it and thanked me for writing it.
and i was like. ??...?????? ???????? ...??!!! because i felt like... uncontainable glee? i was freakishly happy. the amount of serotonin those two sentences gave me was definitely unnatural.
is that healthy? idk. will it continue? idk. LOL. i hope so? but idk, some people said it wears off if you write/post for a while. but whatever, the fact that one little comment like that could make my entire day blew my mind. tbh i thought writers were just exaggerating when they said stuff like that.
ever since then i started leaving comments! that shit's easy! like what was i overthinking for? i'm such a fucking tryhard! all i gotta say is that i liked it, and even the bare minimum can bring lots of joy to someone.
so basically what im trying to say is that negative reinforcement doesn't do shit!! it just makes people feel bad about themselves. that post is nasty for guilt-tripping readers like that, and i bet you it's going to have the opposite effect (or no effect tbh).
YAPPING FINISHED. for now.
41 notes · View notes
apoloadonisandnarcissus · 13 hours ago
Text
Sauron's character arc in Tolkien lore and "Rings of Power"
I see many folks not understanding that "character arcs" exist and making the mistake of seeing "Third age" Sauron in "Rings of Power" Sauron.
The show itself is making this distinction, but the audience is so wrapped-up on their own headcanons they refuse to see it. Tolkien did spell out Sauron's character arc on his letters, and "Rings of Power" is giving us just that.
Folks who have never read the books nor are familiar with Tolkien legendarium, it's perfectly fine not to understand this. But I’m seeing Tolkien fans misreading Sauron’s character, and that’s strange to say the least. 
Season 1: Repentant Mairon aka Halbrand
"Sauron in Truth Repented": full meta here
Tumblr media
And there is Sauron. In the Silmarillion and Tales of the First Age Sauron was a being of Valinor perverted to the service of the Enemy and becoming his chief captain and servant. He repents in fear when the First Enemy is utterly defeated, but in the end does not do as was commanded, return to the judgement of the gods. He lingers in Middle-earth. Tolkien Letter 131
Tumblr media
He [Sauron] was given an opportunity of repentance, when Morgoth was overcome, but could not face the humiliation of recantation, and suing for pardon; [...] temporary turn to good and 'benevolence'. Tolkien Letter 153
Tumblr media
When Thangorodrim was broken and Morgoth overthrown, Sauron put on his fair hue again and did obeisance to Eönwë, the herald of Manwë, and abjured all his evil deeds [...] Sauron in truth repented, if only out of fear, being dismayed by the fall of Morgoth and the great wrath of the Lords of the West. But it was not within the power of Eönwë to pardon those of his own order, and he commanded Sauron to return to Aman and there receive the judgment of Manwë. Then Sauron was ashamed, and he was unwilling to return in humiliation and to receive from the Valar a sentence, in might be, of long servitude in proof of his good faith; for under Morgoth his power had been great. Therefore when Eönwë departed he hid himself in Middle-Earth. The Silmarillion
Season 2 and 3: Sauron the Reformer ("Annatar" and "King of Kings")
“The rings of power” masterplan. Season 2 kicked out this plot of Sauron’s character arc, and will continue to Season 3, as he finds the Nine ring-bearers.
Tumblr media
He [Sauron] lingers in Middle-earth. Very slowly, beginning with fair motives: the reorganising and rehabilitation of the ruin of Middle-earth, 'neglected by the gods'. Tolkien Letter 131
Tumblr media
[...] at the beginning of the Second Age he was still beautiful to look at, or could still assume a beautiful visible shape [...] 'reformers' who want to hurry up with 'reconstruction' and 'reorganization'. Tolkien Letter 153
Tumblr media
He [Sauron] had gone the way of all tyrants: beginning well, at least on the level that while desiring to order all things according to his own wisdom he still at first considered the (economic) well-being of other inhabitants of the Earth. Tolkien Letter 183
Season 4 and 5: Morgoth's representative
“Fall of Númenor” and “War of the Last Alliance”, after Sauron loses the ability to take on fair form. He can no longer deceive others on his own (seduction), and resorts to his military power to achieve his goals of domination and tyranny
Tumblr media
pride and the lust to exert [his] will eat [him] up. Tolkien Letter 153
Tumblr media
When he found how greatly his knowledge was admired by all other rational creatures and how easy it was to influence them, his pride became boundless. By the end of the Second Age he assumed the position of Morgoth's representative. Tolkien Letter 183 (note)
Tumblr media
“The Lord of the Rings" trilogy (Third Age)
This is Sauron most of you are familiar with, and this is the evilest Sauron has ever been on his character arc.
Tumblr media
By the end of the Third Age (though actually much weaker than before) he claimed to be Morgoth returned. Tolkien Letter 183 (note)
Tumblr media
He [Sauron] becomes a reincarnation of Evil, and a thing lusting for Complete Power – and so consumed ever more fiercely with hate (especially of gods and Elves). Tolkien Letter 131
Tumblr media
But he [Sauron] went further than human tyrants in pride and the lust for domination, being in origin an immortal (angelic) spirit. In The Lord of the Rings the conflict is not basically about 'freedom', though that is naturally involved. It is about God, and His sole right to divine honour. The Eldar and the Númenóreans believed in The One, the true God, and held worship of any other person an abomination. Sauron desired to be a God-King, and was held to be this by his servants; if he had been victorious he would have demanded divine honour from all rational creatures and absolute temporal power over the whole world.   Tolkien Letter 183
Tumblr media
The corrupted, as was Melkor/Morgoth and his followers (of whom Sauron was one of the chief) saw in them the ideal material for subjects and slaves, to whom they could become masters and 'gods', envying the Children, and secretly hating them, in proportion as they became rebels against the One (and Manwë his Lieutenant in Eä). Tolkien Letter 212
33 notes · View notes
takamimami · 2 days ago
Note
Hello!
Congratulations on your 100 followers 🥳!!!!!
I'd like to ask you Kid with prompt 12: "You make me a better person." f!reader please 😉
Tumblr media
Hi anons!! I apologize for this taking so long - I got hit with some vicious PMDD the past two weeks and had ZERO motivation to do anything at all, let alone write. I wanted to make sure I could give you something I was proud of - and I can gladly say that I did just that :3 I hope you enjoy the read, and thanks again for your submissions!!
Tumblr media
Kidd x F!Reader - SFW - "You make me a better person." - STORY UNDER THE CUT CW: FLUFF; kidd proposes, bro is a bumbling idiot in the cutest way ever, I'm so hopelessly in love with him help me, gentle kidd will be the death of me ---word count 1.7k
Tumblr media
It’d been four days since you’d seen Kidd.
Four days.
The occasional disappearance of your captain had come to be expected, seeing as the man needed his alone time to decompress from time to time, but four days were impressive even for him.
Especially considering that the entire time the crew had been out at sea, meaning you were never more than a few yards away from him at any given point. 
You’d begun to contemplate asking Killer if he had fallen overboard without anyone noticing when a disheveled head of red hair burst into the kitchen, grumbling in Killer’s direction and motioning for him to follow him.
You stood up and Kidd’s eyes snapped to you, the intensity in them causing your step to falter. When you stopped moving his eyes shifted to Killer, who then turned to face you and reached an arm out to rest a hand on your shoulder.
“Y/N, listen,” he starts, and Kidd disappears through the door as he blocks you from following after him.
“This isn’t going to make any sense, but just… don’t follow him right now, okay?” 
Your brows furrowed and you inhaled deeply to protest, but Killer continued before you had a chance to offer your rebuttal.
“I know,” he sighs, hands waving in the air in front of him, “I know. He’s… I don’t even know what to tell you is up with him right now. Just, leave him be for a bit longer, okay?”
The concern must have been evident on your face because Killer returned his hand to your shoulder, rubbing it in an attempted reassuring gesture.
“Did… did I do something?” Your voice was shaky with concern, but much to your surprise Killer lets out a laugh at your question.
A laugh.
“Technically… yes,” he chuckles, and despite your confusion, the answer manages to loosen the tension that had built in your shoulders.
“Just… trust me, okay? I promise you it will be worth the wait.”
You swear you can see him wink at you through his mask as he turns and walks out of the kitchen and toward where Kidd disappeared.
You took a deep breath before returning to your task at hand, and once you’d finished the dishes you wiped down the counters before heading up to the crow’s nest to relieve Bubblegum for the night.
You brought a book with you to distract you from the nagging thoughts of Kidd, but it did little to calm the tempest of thoughts swirling in your head. You found yourself replaying your last encounters with your lover in your head to try to figure out what had triggered this reaction from him, but you came up empty-handed with every scenario, inevitably ending up flipping through the pages of your book as you desperately try to get a grip of your mind.
You continue this cycle until the sun finally starts to peek up over the edge of the water and House greets you with a sleepy smile at the crow’s nest door, signaling the end of your watch shift. 
You scaled the ladder quickly and disappeared below deck, hoping a shower and a nap would help ease your mind enough to let you fall asleep before tending to your afternoon duties. 
As you pull open the door to your and Kidd’s cabin, you are startled to find him sitting on the edge of your bed, his head resting on his hands – which are resting on his knees.
You curled an eyebrow at him curiously as you crossed the room, not sure what reaction you would get from him as you leaned in to press a soft kiss to his temple.
“Hi,” you greet him quietly, the timidness in your voice causing him to look up at you with weary eyes.
“Hey.”
You stand before him for a moment before deciding to continue with your original plan, turning to move for the bathroom door. 
“I’m going to shower and get some sleep,” you mumble, looking back over your shoulder to survey Kidd. He just simply nods, making no effort to move from his spot on the bed.
You shuffle through the room in search of a towel, slinging one over your shoulder once you find it and reaching for the door handle of the bathroom.
“Did I do something?”
Your movements stop as you let the question fall from your lips, unable to bear this tension any longer. You don’t turn to look at Kidd, instead you keep your eyes trained on the bathroom door before you until you hear his weight shift on the bed behind you.
A strong arm snakes around your waist and before you have time to protest you’re being turned around to face him, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face as you look up at him.
First, Killer… now him?
“What the fuck is so fun-?!”
Your words are cut off as his lips connect to yours, your irritation dissolving as his teeth pull your bottom lip in between his own. He bites down lightly and your lips part for him, his tongue pressing inside your mouth and tangling with your own.
The kiss is soft and short, and a heartbeat later Kidd is pulling away from you, tugging your hand into his as he leads you toward the door.
“Where are we going?”
“Shush,” he grunts, pulling you out into the hall and up onto the deck of the Victoria Punk. You follow him up the stairs of the helm, his steps finally coming to a halt as he reaches the railing.
The sunrise pulls your attention as you listen to the sound of waves crashing against the hull of the ship, the distraction only temporary as Kidd drops your hand and starts digging through his pockets.
“What the fuck is going on, Kidd?”
He stops fumbling around and looks at you, eyes softer than usual as he speaks.
“I was supposed to wait until we docked, but I don’t want to anymore,” he starts, pulling a crinkled piece of paper from his pocket. 
He clears his throat and holds the paper out in front of him, eyes scanning over the words on it before he clears his throat. 
“Y/N,” he starts, his voice slightly wobbly, “I’ve tried to figure out how the hell I wanted to do this for months now, and every time I thought I had a good idea, I ended up hating it and going back to the drawing board.”
Footsteps on the staircase behind you pull your attention, but just as quickly as he appears, Killer disappears back down the stairs, as if he’d stumbled upon something he wasn’t supposed to.
Kid grunts before reaching for your hand, pulling your gaze back to him as he starts to speak again.
“I sat at my desk for hours trying to put the perfect words onto this paper, and the longer I tried the more stupid it sounded. Ugh, wait - not stupid,” he runs his hand through his hair in distress. “This isn’t stupid, that’s not what I meant, I jus-”
You reach out and cup his face in your hand, a small reassuring smile curling onto your lips as a single tear pools in the corner of your eye as you realize what is happening.
Kid grunts again, sighing heavily as he leans into your touch, “I’m sorry,” he breathes, crumpling the piece of paper and letting it fall to the floor, “I don’t know the right words to say, so I’m not going to sit here and read you some script off of a piece of paper.”
He pulls his face from your hand and kneels down to the floor, at the same time that the first tear falls down your cheek. He shoves his hand in his pocket and reaches for your left hand with his metal one, eyes growing slightly hazy as he looks up at you.
“I-I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to make me rethink e-everything in my life,” he stumbles through the words, “I still don’t think I deserve to have you by my side, but I thank the gods they dropped you in my lap that night because I don’t know where or who I would be if I hadn’t met you.”
“You’ve loved every version of me, unconditionally, and without intentionally trying, you made me a better person – a better version of myself. Which is pretty impressive because I was already pretty fucking great when you met me.”
You let out a choked laugh, though it sounds more like a sob due to the tears now streaming down your cheeks as you stare at the ring resting in Kidd’s hand.
“All I know,” he says after chuckling to himself, “Is that I want you… I need you by my side, forever.”
Your heart stills as Kidd raises his hand, revealing the ring he’d spent the last three nights perfecting for you, unbeknownst to you. 
He slides the ring on your finger and you realize your hands are shaking, you bring your hand up to your face and admire the craftsmanship of the ring for a moment, before dropping your hand back down to his and staring down at him through bleary eyes.
“So is this you asking me to marry you?”
Your question makes Kidd’s smile drop, and he cocks a brow at you as he looks between you and the ring.
“Isn’t that obvious?”
You ignore the attitude in his tone and smirk at him, cocking your hip to the side as you cross your arms.
“You didn’t ask the question,” you muse, smirk growing as he rolls his eyes, “Or do I not get a choice in the matter?”
He smirks at that suggestion and stands, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you into his embrace.
“Glad you know that ‘No’ isn’t an option here,” he teases, leaning down and pressing a quick and gentle kiss to your lips. He pulls back slightly and meets your gaze, his eyes sparkling from the glow of the distant sunrise.
“Will you?”
“Will I, what?”
Kidd pinches your side and you yelp, giggling as he squeezes you in his arm tighter.
“Marry me, brat.”
You fling your arms around his neck as a fresh set of tears begin to fall, crashing your lips into his. You feel his shoulders relax as he deepens the kiss, twirling your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck as he pulls back from you moments later.
“Of course I will, asshole.”
100 Follower Event Masterlist ✨come say hai :3✨
Tumblr media
47 notes · View notes
obsessive-reylin · 3 days ago
Note
Okok, so this is a little different from the story, but—!
What if Y/N was the one who was sick and was Liam's patient? But...also never reciprocated any feelings for Liam because maybe Y/N was already with someone? :3
Tumblr media
Absolutely love the idea, never thought about this scenario honestly. Thank you so much for this request🖤 Hope it is to your liking.
And sorry in advance for it being short and that it took so long. I felt unmotivated to do literally anything in life, including this. So for now I'm publishing kind of a part one and then when I get back to feeling normal I will finish it completely.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
TW: heart disease, operation, gaslighting,
The yandere content that I’m writing is absolutely in no way me promoting this type of behaviour. I do not romanticise it; this is just a way for me to explore the more darker side of my writing. If you do relate to these characters or think that it’s romantic, please seek help.
You are welcome to send asks/requests about my existing characters or others. Just make sure to read my rules.
Tumblr media
When Liam announced you the news of your sickness, he could almost read your mind, the thoughts that were swirling inside of you like a hurricane. He understood your emotions, who would want to hear that they wouldn’t survive if they don’t get a heart transplant ? But he couldn’t help but feel that he needed to be your saviour, it went beyond his duty as your doctor. No, it was something deeper than that, something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
Nevertheless, he decided that he needed to return to his old habits for you, meaning that he couldn’t wait for someone to give their heart to you, he had to take it himself. It was fairly easy actually; he knew so many people that nobody cared about, people whose disappearance wouldn’t raise any suspicions. He didn’t like doing the extra work, killing, cleaning up the flat, getting rid of the evidence, making sure that the appearance of a new heart wouldn’t raise any suspicions. But seeing your smile when he announced that you could have a heart transplant, it was all worth it.
What was not worth, at all, was seeing you hug that pathetic excuse of a man that called himself your boyfriend. Did he really need to come along with the rest of the family ? In Liam’s eyes, he looked more like an emotional support pet more than anything else, much less a boyfriend. Liam practically stormed off your room when he heard about your relationship. “Boyfriend ? He wasn’t even in her emergency contacts. I bet they haven’t been together that long, and their relationship won’t even last !”
And at that he stopped. He did eavesdrop a bit when your family was visiting before, he heard that you got with someone two months ago, which for him wasn’t really that long. He could take that to his advantage, who wasn’t ghosted at the start of a relationship ? The disappearance of that guy wouldn’t raise any suspicions, and Liam will be able to finally have you all to himself.
To say he expected more emotions from you when it’s been a week since you last spoke to your boyfriend was a misunderstanding, it was like you didn’t care at all. Sure, you didn’t really know that he was dead at the time, but he really expected more emotions out of you, who acted so calmly when a guy they’ve been seeing for two months just ghosts them ? So, when you came back to the hospital for some checkups, he decided to ask.
“Nobody this time with you ? I think your boyfriend visited you quite often while you were sick” Liam asked while looking at the test results.
“He ghosted me. Weird honestly, he seemed into me, I think.”
He let out a chuckle. He knew the guy was into you, which is why he took such drastic measures to get rid of him, otherwise he could’ve just paid the guy to not speak to you. But oh well, he didn’t mind. Even a slight chance of being closer to you was more than enough motivation for him, he didn’t graduate from university because it was easy.
After he finished all of your checkups, he clocked out of work because of “personal emergencies”, it being stalking you until you arrived home. He didn’t really like it, it was too small for his taste. He wanted you to live somewhere classier, like his house, you only deserved the best after all, and this was definitely not it.
“If only I could somehow take care of you, my darling… You deserve it more than anyone else in the world.”
And with that, Liam got another amazing idea, he was going to make you sick on purpose again ! What a better way to take care of you than have you dependent on him as long as he wanted. He could finally be close to you and nobody was going to stop him from reaching his happy ever after.
Tumblr media
Thank you so much for reading ! Why don't you spend some more time on my blog and look through my navigation ?
28 notes · View notes
tokkiwrites · 7 hours ago
Text
𝚄𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗. (5)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
mom's fiancé! joel miller x f! reader • series masterlist.
Summary: Your mom's new fiancé, Joel Miller, is the kind of man you could never shake out of your mind—rugged, rough, and embodiment of your long-buried fantasies. He's been your next-door neighbor for years, and the crush you harbored through your teenage years never really faded. Now, he's with your mom, and they're planning to get married. You should want her to be happy, but you can't ignore the tension growing between you and Joel. It's something that was never meant to happen. But as you uncover Joel's true motives for being with your mom, you realize maybe your feelings weren't one-sided after all. And maybe, despite everything, you’re the one he really wants. Tags: stepcest kind of, age gap (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 40s), forbidden romance, emotional conflict, complicated family dynamics, heartbreak, ANGST, cheating, infidelity, betrayal, talk about divorce, no one owning up to what they really do, main characters get their happy ending... OR DO THEY?! >:) /ᐠ - ˕ -マ⁩ authors note 𑁯 ✿ im baaack !! last part baby!!! kind of. you'll see >:) until then enjoy this mumbled mess of 4.63k words bunnies! thank you for the immense support on this series. excuse any grammatical errors <//3
Tumblr media
Her words hit you like a tidal wave, leaving you gasping for air. You watched as she paced the room, trembling with the weight of her anger and heartbreak. “You don’t know what love is!” she snapped, her voice breaking. “Love isn’t sneaking around, tearing apart the people who trust you the most. Love isn’t ruining your family because you can’t control yourself.”
Your chest tightened, the sting of her words cutting deep. “I didn’t plan for this to happen,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “It wasn’t like I set out to hurt you—”
“But you did,” she interrupted, her voice cracking. “You hurt me in the worst way possible. You betrayed me with the one person who was supposed to be on my side. How am I supposed to live with this? How am I supposed to look at you and not see… this?”
Her words crushed you, the weight of her disappointment pressing down like an anchor. You took a step toward her, desperate to bridge the chasm growing between you. “Mom, please—”
“Don’t,” she said, holding up a hand to stop you. Her tears shimmered in the dim light, her face a portrait of devastation. “I need you to leave. Just… go.”
You froze, your heart shattering at the finality in her tone. “Mom…”
“Go!” she shouted, her voice breaking. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
The silence that followed was deafening. You turned and stumbled toward the door, the walls of the house you’d grown up in suddenly feeling foreign and cold. As you stepped outside, the chill of the night air bit at your skin, but it was nothing compared to the hollow ache inside your chest.
The slam of the door still echoed in your ears as you trudged through the dark streets, clutching your jacket tight against the biting wind. Your mind was spinning, replaying the scene over and over again—the raised voice, the look of disgust on her face, the words that burned like acid.
"You’re a liar. I don’t even know who you are anymore."
Your mother had always been sharp, but you hadn’t expected her to be cruel. Not like that.
She hadn’t even let you explain. Not really. Once she figured it out—once you admitted you were in love with Joel—it was like she couldn’t even look at you. Not forever, maybe. But you knew that in this moment, there was no going back.
You wiped at your face, but it was no use. Tears streaked your cheeks, hot and endless, cutting through the cold. You barely noticed when you reached Joel’s building. Your feet carried you up the stairs, and your fists pounded on his door before you even thought about what you’d say.
It wasn’t long before the door swung open. Joel stood there, his face tight with worry that immediately shifted into something darker when he saw you. “You told her,” he said, his voice low and heavy. You froze, your breath catching. Of course, he already knew. “I had to,” you whispered, stepping inside uninvited. “She—she guessed. She cornered me, Joel, I couldn’t—” You decided to lie. You tried to protect him from all of this. Maybe it wasn't your job or your role to do so, but this was the way to show him that it's real. that you are real, and so are all the feelings you have for him.
“You could’ve,” Joel snapped, cutting you off. He shut the door with more force than necessary. “You could’ve waited. You could’ve called me. But instead, you decided to do this on your own.” His words hit like a punch, and you stumbled over your response. “I didn’t have time—”
“That’s bullshit,” he growled, his voice rising. He took a step closer, his eyes boring into yours. “You didn’t want to wait for me. You wanted to handle it yourself, like you always do.”
“That’s not fair,” you shot back, anger bubbling up to meet his. “I didn’t plan this, Joel! She came at me, and I panicked! What was I supposed to do? Lie to her?”
“Yes!” Joel shouted, throwing his hands up. “You should’ve lied, or stalled, or done anything other than blow this whole thing wide open without me. You think this is just about you? It’s not. This affects both of us.” Your stomach twisted at his words. “You think I don’t know that?” you said, your voice trembling. “Do you think I don’t feel sick about what this means for you? For us? Joel, she kicked me out!"
He froze, his jaw tightening. “She what?”
You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you. “She told me to leave. Said she doesn’t even recognize me anymore. I—” Your voice broke, and you covered your face with your hands. Joel’s anger seemed to deflate all at once, replaced by something softer, though no less pained. He reached for you hesitantly, his fingers brushing your arm.
“Hey,” he said quietly, his tone rough but gentler now. “C’mere.”
You let him pull you into his arms, and the floodgates opened. You sobbed into his chest, your fists clutching at his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart completely. For a while, he just held you, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back. "I got you, babygirl... 'm right here." But the tension in his body hadn’t gone away, and you could feel the weight of everything left unsaid hanging between you. When your sobs finally quieted, Joel pulled back just enough to look at you. His face was etched with exhaustion and something else—something almost like regret.
“This can’t keep happening,” he said softly. “You can’t just… go off and make decisions like this without me. We’re supposed to be in this together.”
“I know,” you whispered, your voice raw. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know what else to do.” Joel sighed, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. “We’ll figure it out,” he said, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced. “We always do.”
But before you could respond, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You hesitated, then pulled it out, your heart sinking when you saw the name on the screen. Marjorie. Of course. Joel noticed your hesitation. “Who is it?”
“Marjorie,” you said quietly. He frowned, but said nothing as you swiped to open the message. "You should’ve thought this through", it read.
•Your mom’s already told half the town about what you’ve done. If you’d just shared a little, you wouldn’t be in this mess now. At least they'll know what a homewrecking whore you are.
The room seemed to spin, and you had to sit down before your legs gave out. Joel knelt beside you, his hand gripping yours tightly. “What is it?” he asked, his voice low and steady. You showed him the message, your hands shaking. His jaw tightened as he read it, a muscle in his cheek jumping.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered. “She’s trying to twist the knife.”
“She’s right, though,” you said, your voice barely audible. “I—I did this to myself. To us.”
“Hey,” Joel said firmly, cupping your face in his hands. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. You hear me, sweet girl? This isn’t on you. It’s on them. On her.” You wanted to believe him. But the weight of everything—the fallout with your mom, the shame, the fear of what came next—it was too much.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” you whispered, tears welling up again. "Maybe it don't need fixin'.." Joel’s expression softened, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “We’ll figure it out,” he said again. “One step at a time. But you’ve got to let me in. No more shutting me out.”
The road ahead felt impossibly long, the cracks in your relationship with Joel deep and jagged. But as he held you close, his arms steady and sure, you let yourself hope.
the nigh faded as your lids finally closed, the soft whispers of Joel a blanket over your tensed body. Finally, you fall asleep, escaping this day, hoping that when you wake up It'll all turn out to be a bad dream.
But as the night fell upon, you so did the day.
Joel stood on the doorstep, fists clenched at his sides. The brisk wind carried the faint scent of pine from the trees lining the street. He stared at the door in front of him, steeling himself for what he knew was coming. When your mother opened the door, her face immediately twisted into a scowl. “You’ve got some nerve showing up here,” she spat. Joel held her gaze, his jaw tight. “We need to talk.”
“Oh, we do?” she snapped, stepping onto the porch and crossing her arms. “You’ve said enough, Joel. Or maybe not—seems like you were too busy seducing my daughter to give me the full picture.” Joel winced, but he didn’t look away. “I didn’t come here to fight with you.”
“Then what do you want?” she shot back, her voice rising. “To explain yourself? To justify this—this shit?”
“I want to make things right,” Joel said, his tone measured. “For her. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“Don’t you dare pretend this is about her,” she snapped, her eyes narrowing. “This is about you. About your selfishness, your inability to think about anyone but yourself.” Joel’s hands curled into fists at his sides, but he forced himself to stay calm. “I know you’re angry—”
“Angry?” Her voice grew louder, trembling with indignation. “Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it! Do you have any idea what you’ve done, Joel? My daughter—your stepdaughter. Do you even hear yourself?” Joel’s shoulders sagged slightly, but his resolve didn’t falter. “It’s not what you think—”
“Oh, really?” she interrupted, her laugh sharp and bitter. “Then explain it to me, Joel. Enlighten me, because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’ve been fucking her this whole time.” His head snapped up, and his voice took on a dangerous edge. “That’s not what happened.”
“Then what?” she demanded, stepping closer. “You ‘accidentally’ fell for her? And so did your dick inside of her? Was this why you got so close to her? Why you were so ‘supportive’ all of a sudden? Because you wanted her?” Joel’s chest rose and fell heavily. “I didn’t plan this,” he said, his voice low but firm. “It just happened. She’s not a child, and this wasn’t some sick—”
“Don’t you dare try to justify this!” she hissed, cutting him off again. “You’re supposed to be her father. You were supposed to protect her—not—” Her voice cracked, and she had to look away, blinking rapidly. "Oh my god."
Joel stepped forward, his voice softening. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” She glared at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You think that makes it better? That it wasn’t ‘on purpose’? My God, Joel—this is why you married me, isn’t it?”
His brow furrowed, and for a moment, he looked genuinely taken aback. “What?” She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “It makes sense now. You didn’t want me. You wanted her. You saw an opportunity, and you—” Her voice broke again, and she turned away, her hand pressed to her mouth. “That’s not true,” Joel said firmly, his voice rising just slightly. “I loved you. I cared about this family. I—”
“You used this family,” she snapped, spinning back around to face him. “And don’t you dare pretend otherwise. You’ve destroyed everything, Joel. Do you understand that? Everything. And for what?”
Joel’s expression hardened, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “For love,” he said, his voice rough. “I love her. And you can hate me for it all you want, but that’s the truth.” Her mouth fell open slightly, disbelief etched across her face. For a moment, the only sound was the wind rustling through the trees.
“You’re disgusting,” she finally said, her voice quiet but laced with venom. “Do you know what people are saying? What they’re going to say? You’ve ruined her, Joel. You’ve ruined her life, and you don't even understand."
Joel’s throat tightened, and his heart sank with every word that came from her mouth. “I never meant to hurt her,” he said again, his voice thick with emotion. He took a step forward, desperate to make her understand. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I love her, but I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I never wanted to destroy this family.” The words seemed to hit her like a slap. She blinked rapidly, as though trying to keep the tears at bay, but they came anyway—one by one, streaming down her face. “You already have, Joel,” she whispered.
There was a heavy silence between them. The weight of everything that had happened hung in the air like an oppressive cloud. Joel wanted to reach out, to comfort her somehow, but he knew he couldn’t. Not now.
Her eyes narrowed, and her voice was cold, almost venomous. “You’re not going to get away with this. I’ll make sure of it. I’m telling everyone. I’ve already told people, Joel. You don’t get to just pretend this didn’t happen, that it’s all okay. I will make sure everyone knows what you’ve done.”
His blood ran cold. “You can’t—”
“I will,” she spat. Joel stood there. He wanted to scream, to argue, but the truth hung there. He had screwed up. And he knew that.
“I didn’t want this to happen. You have to believe me,” he said hoarsely, voice cracking. “I was trying to be there for her. I—I never wanted to hurt her or you. It just—it just happened. And I don’t know what to do, but I swear, I never meant for it to go this far.” She crossed her arms tightly, her eyes flashing with anger and hurt. “You never meant it, Joel? Then why did you let it happen? Why didn’t you stop? You could’ve stopped. You could’ve walked away.
His throat felt tight, constricted with guilt, but he refused to back down. “Because I couldn’t.” Her lip trembled, but she quickly bit it, hiding the emotion that flickered there. She took a deep breath, then looked him square in the eyes. “I want you to leave. Now.”
The command was sharp, final. Joel hesitated, his gaze lingering on her, and then he nodded—slowly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. There were no more words that could fix this, not right now. He turned, heading for the door, the weight of everything pressing down on him with each step.
He felt sick.
With one final glance at the door he’d just walked away from, he turned and walked down the street, away from the house, away from everything. His mind raced with a thousand thoughts, but none of them made sense.
He had destroyed everything.
And now, there was no going back.
Joel had just come back from a supply run, the door clicking shut behind him. You glanced up from the couch, where you’d been sitting in silence, staring blankly at a book you weren’t really reading. He dropped the grocery bag on the counter, pausing before he looked at you.
“You’ve barely eaten,” he said, his voice rough but laced with concern. You shrugged, hugging your knees to your chest. “Not hungry.” He let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, baby. I know it’s hard, but we’re in this together. You know that, don’t you?”
You looked at him then, searching his face for something—reassurance, maybe, or a sense that he really believed what he was saying. “Together,” you echoed, the word feeling hollow. “We might be together, but everything else is ruined, Joel. My mom hates me. She hates you... And everyone else knows now too."
Running away now sounds about right.
Joel crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the couch. “Your mom’s angry. She’s hurt. But she’ll come around. And whatever others say... Fuck 'em.” You shook your head, tears pricking your eyes. “She won’t, Joel. Not after what she said. Not after what we did.”
“She doesn’t get to judge us,” he said firmly, his voice low. “She can be angry all she wants, but we didn’t do this to hurt her. We didn’t plan for any of this.” You flinched at his words. “That doesn’t make it okay. We still—Joel, we still had an affair. We lied to her. I lied to her... and I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Joel reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “You’re the same person you’ve always been...My sweet 'n smart girl. And you’re not alone in this. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
You looked at him, his eyes filled with determination and tears. He meant it—every word. But that didn’t erase the reality of what had happened. It didn’t change the fact that you’d hurt someone you both cared about, even if that love had long since soured.
“Do you regret it?” you asked suddenly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. Your voice trembled, barely audible. “Do you regret... us?” Joel froze, his hand tightening around yours. For a moment, you thought he might say yes—that he’d take it all back if he could. But then he shook his head, his voice resolute.
“No,” he said. “I don’t regret loving you. I can’t. But I hate how it happened. I hate what it’s done to you—to us.” Tears slipped down your cheeks, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. You buried your face in his chest, letting yourself cry for everything you’d lost—for the family you’d broken and the love that had brought you here. “I’m scared, Joel,” you whispered. “What if it’s not enough? What if we’re not enough?” His arms tightened around you, his voice soft but unwavering. “We’ll figure it out. One day at a time, baby.”
You wait for the moon to rise and hug you.
Tonight, as the moonlight filtered through the thin curtains in his bedroom, you realized you couldn’t stay here anymore. Not in this town. Not surrounded by the memories of everything you’d lost.
Joel was beside you, his breathing steady but shallow. He’d fallen asleep sitting against the headboard, a book forgotten in his lap. His brow was furrowed, even in rest. You stared at him for a long moment before gently nudging his shoulder. “Joel,” you whispered. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open. For a second, he looked confused, but then his gaze softened when he saw you. “Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”
You nodded but didn’t answer right away. Instead, you sat up, crossing your legs and pulling the blanket over them. Joel straightened, too, setting the book aside and giving you his full attention.
“There’s something I’ve been thinking about,” you started. Joel tilted his head slightly. “What’s that?”
You took a deep breath, the words tumbling out before you could second-guess yourself. “Why don’t we leave? Just... pack up and go somewhere else. Start over. There’s nothing keeping me here, Joel. Not anymore. We could move, get away from all this, and just... be us. We could have a life, a family of our own. Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?”
Joel’s eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, the way he was trying to process what you’d just said. “You want to leave?” he asked finally, his voice low.
You nodded. “I can’t stay here, Joel. Not after everything. Everyone knows. They’re all talking about us, judging us. I can’t go anywhere without feeling their eyes on me. And my mom... She’s made it clear I’m not welcome. But we don’t have to stay. We could go somewhere no one knows us. Start fresh.”
Joel rubbed a hand over his face, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know, darlin’. Moving... It’s a big decision. And what about you? Your work, your friends?”
“They’re not my friends anymore,” you said bitterly, the sting of betrayal still fresh. “If they ever were, they’re sure not now. And work... I can find something else. None of that matters, Joel. All that matters is us. If we stay here, this will follow us forever. But if we leave, we can leave all this behind.” His shoulders slumped slightly, and he looked at you; sadness and longing. “You really think running away’s the answer?”
“It’s not running away,” you argued gently. “It’s starting over. Joel, you said we’d figure this out together. This is how we do it! We can’t change what happened, but we can choose what happens next. And I choose you.”
The room was silent except for the faint hum of the air conditioner. Joel’s gaze locked on yours, and you could see the battle raging inside him. He wanted what you were offering—a chance to leave this mess behind, to build a life with you. But he was also scared of the unknown and the risks that came with it.
Finally, he reached out, his hand covering yours. “If this is what you want,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “then we’ll do it. We’ll leave. Wherever you wanna go, I’ll follow.”
Relief flooded through you, and a tear slipped down your cheek as you threw your arms around him. “Thank you,” you murmured against his shoulder. “Thank you..." He held you tightly, his lips brushing the top of your head. “You’re all I’ve got, darlin’. I’d go anywhere for you.”
That was enough. It had to be.
The hum of the apartment felt suffocating, but there was a strange comfort in it, too. You’d been in the same place for so long, yet now, every little sound—the refrigerator humming, the quiet ticking of the clock on the wall—felt like a reminder of everything that had fallen apart. The town that had been home for so many years now felt like a prison, a place where the whispers never stopped, and the eyes of judgment followed you wherever you went.
But you weren’t staying here. You couldn’t stay here. You were both looking for a way out. Maybe you more than him.
Joel had been working overtime, pushing through his job, despite the whispers about him at work—the rumors that now tainted his every conversation. His job, the stares, the small-town gossip— it all got to him. to both of you.
As for you, you had quit yours. There wasn’t any point in pretending anymore. Your coworkers had given you that look— the one that said they knew but couldn’t talk about it openly. You didn’t need that anymore. You didn’t need to keep hiding in a job that felt more like a cage than an opportunity.
What you needed was space. You needed to leave. To escape. To start somewhere far away from here.
You stood by the counter, stirring a pot of vegetable soup as the familiar sounds of the apartment surrounded you. You were tired. Tired of hiding. Tired of fighting for something that had no resolve. It should’ve been an easy answer. You knew this would happen, how it would end up. And you could see it in Joel’s eyes, too. But every time you thought about leaving, about getting out of this town where everyone knew too much, there was a brief moment of hope. A spark. What if this was the first step toward something real? Toward a life that was just yours? Was it that horrible you wanted to he happy despite what you had done?
You let out a deep breath, your thoughts interrupted as Joel stepped into the kitchen, his tired eyes locking onto yours.
"Hi, baby." he murmured, his voice a little rough from the long day. You turned to him, a smile tugging at your lips despite the exhaustion that had been weighing on you. “Hi,” you said softly, and before you could say anything more, he closed the space between you. Joel’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, then your temple. “Missed you,” he said, his lips brushing against your skin. “Every damn minute I was at work, all I could think about was gettin' home to you.”
You laughed quietly, resting your hands on his chest. “You’re such a sap,” you teased, but there was no bite in your words—just warmth, just the comfort of knowing he was here. “Only for you,” Joel replied, a smirk playing on his lips as he tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. His thumb brushed over your cheek, and his expression softened. “You’re my whole world, baby. Don’t you know that by now?”
Your chest tightened, but in the best way. You nodded, leaning into his touch. “I think I do,” you whispered. Joel’s smile grew, and he leaned down to kiss you—slow and sweet, the kind of kiss that made the rest of the world falter away. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and his hands stayed firm on your waist like he couldn’t bear to let go.
“We’re really doing this..?” you said. “We’re leaving. Packing up and going to a whole new place..."
“Damn right we are,” his voice was steady. “We got that apartment a few towns over...with the balcony and all that sunlight you love so much, could maybe get a puppy too, who knows? It’s ours now. We’re making this happen.”
"Or a kitty." you giggle. "Whatever you want, angel. anything you want." You nodded, a smile breaking across your face. Your future home. Yours and Joel's. For how unreal it sounded, it felt like a lifeline. It was small but perfect, tucked away in a quiet area where no one would know your names. It was far enough from here that the whispers, the judgment, and the past couldn’t follow. It was everything you both needed. “I still can’t believe they approved us,” you said, shaking your head with a quiet laugh. “It feels too good to be true.” Joel chuckled, pulling you tighter against him. “Believe it, baby. It’s happening. And I can’t wait to see you in it. Can’t wait to start a real life with you..." he trails off, palm settling on your lower belly and, oh, butterflies bloom into your stomach. His words made your chest ache. He leaned down to kiss you again, his hands moving up to cradle your face. The kiss was longer this time, deeper, like he was trying to pour everything he felt for you into it. When he finally pulled back, his eyes were shining. “We’ll start packing this weekend,” he said, his tone laced with excitement. “I’ve already started thinking about how to load the truck. Gonna make sure all your stuff’s safe, no scratches or anythin'.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’re so practical.”
“Hey, someone’s gotta be,” he teased, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “But seriously, I want you to feel at home there. I want it to be everything you’ve ever wanted. Hell, I don’t care if we’re in a shoebox as long as it’s with you.” Your throat tightened at his words, and you buried your face in his chest, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded. “I love you,” you said softly. Joel’s hand came up to tangle in your hair, and he pressed his lips to the top of your head. “I love you, baby. More than anything.” it seemed real enough for you.
For a while, the two of you just stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the warmth of the moment settle around you. You weren’t just running from something anymore, or someone. You were running toward something— together. And it was wrong, yes, and maybe karma will eventually make it's way to you, but until then this was your chance to be happy.
Tumblr media
taglist ⭐️ ㅡ @eviispunk @joeldjarin @whimsiwitchy @guelyury @untamedheart81 @dollyxzy @mybvalentine @am-3-thyst @cuteanimalmama @corinnedollete @lovely-vamp-princess
28 notes · View notes
goodyordle · 2 days ago
Text
One of the most common complaints I hear is about this season is the pacing of the show. Although it’s definitely more plot heavy than season 1, I don’t think this is really a big dealbreaker and can still be justifiable.
Season 1 was about setting up the foundation and building blocks of the show. It’s about understanding the characters and their motivations, so of course it will feel slower and more fleshed out. By season 2, we already know about them so we can move onto the big picture aka the climax, which is the feud between Piltover and Zaun, as well as hextech. It’s focusing more on the lore and the action, and how all the characters play into it.
Yes, there’s the plot with Mel and the Black Rose, for instance, that feels rushed. But Mel has always been a more minor character to the series. Same with the new plot with Singed. However, I think it’s acceptable if at the end, they leave some of these plot points open-ended for the new shows they’ll work on in the future. Not everything has to be closed asap, especially if they will be front and center for other shows.
There’s also the argument that Caitlyn’s change of heart in act 2 was rushed. But keep in mind there was a time skip in act 2. This is also another thing people complain about but again, I think given how big the story has become, these time skips make sense. And Arcane tries its best to explain the events of the time skip through their MVs at the beginning of the episode. And come on, Caitlyn was never the type to hold onto a grudge for that long. Her compassion was already set up as a core part of her character in season 1, and in Ambessa’s words, she always had the strength to forgive. And anyways, we still have act 3. Who knows if she truly had a change of heart? She might surprise us again.
Basically the takeaway is that it seems like Arcane is starting to expand its world and prepare the audience with all the new elements we could be introduced to. Yes, perhaps the show would have resolved these issues if they just extended each episode by a few minutes. But there’s probably limitations they had behind the scenes (and Arcane’s art and animation is complex enough in itself) so I feel like they’re still doing a phenomenal job with the cards they have at hand. Arcane writers are PEAK so I’m confident that in act 3 they will surprise us with how they tie things together.
20 notes · View notes
savagewildnerness · 2 days ago
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/savagewildnerness/767576062367563776/i-found-this-while-scrolling-the-tags-it-looks?source=share
Ah I'm sorry I thought we had to ask you about your opinion on the characters
Oh! Now I understand!
I had meant for everyone else to say what they think! I was intrigued to hear your thoughts! Sorry about that!
I am very happy to answer myself though!
Anyway! You chose Armand, Anon! The most difficult to analyse, I think! But I shall endeavour, as I see him!
1. Character: Armand
2. Biggest motivations: To be safe, to seek a way to continue existing, to seek something to fill him up inside so that he has enough spiritual sustenance to continue, to control in order to be safe, to love, (ironically) often to do no harm & to protect those he loves (but obviously, the actual result is often the opposite to this!!)
3. Deepest fears: being alone with his absence-self with no external meaning to surround himself
4. Insecurities: that he is inhuman, that he could be repulsive, that he is not truly loveable, people who threaten him in any way - threaten his safe structures, are too powerful to control, or who are resistant to his charm/spellbinging/allure (nobody is resistant to Armand’s allure, SURELY!!?!)
5. Biggest dream: to be loved & accepted unconditionally
6. Most important moments in human life: Marius. For good, for bad: Marius. And the memory of religion from his childhood home.  But I think the whole way Marius *saved* Armand is how he seeks to be saved and to save… which explains a lot…
7. Difference between them as a human versus a vampire, if any: Stronger as a vampire and more inhuman.  He was never all *that* human even as a real boy, poor little Angel-Demon-Armand, so perhaps his form now fits him all the better.
They love: I am not sure Armand understands how to love, but he holds infinite reserves of love to give.
9. They hate: loss of control, feeling unsafe, having nothing external to himself to give existence meaning.
Obviously, disagree where you will! I'm interested to hear everyone's thoughts! Just a quick instantaneous response to these from me....
20 notes · View notes
rafesangelita · 2 days ago
Text
the person behind this blog is the same person behind two other blogs (probably more) that i’ve blocked because this person has continuously harrassed me for a while now. this person has made burner accounts and spammed my inbox with hate, along with copying and other things that i have actual proof of. screen shots, screen recordings, i have them all. this person is also a minor, so blogs beware if you don’t allow minors to interact with your account!
for reasons unknown to me, this person has had a personal vendetta against me for absolutely no reason. the only thing i could think of as to why they act out like this is because i block them as soon as i see their accounts interact with mine. i have never, and will never, send anyone hate or be rude to anyone who hasn’t been rude to me. i really don’t care enough to know why this person is doing this, and will just continue to block their accounts.
if i have something to say to anyone, or if i have a problem with something anyone has said or done, i will come to you direct. period. i don’t need to hide behind anon to talk my shit <3 @dolliedrama (i can’t properly tag her because i have her blocked) and whatever accounts you have/continue to make: the very LEAST you can do if you’re going to make all these accounts is make them believable. i’m not even asking you to stop what you’re doing, i’m asking you to be better at it 🎀 i’m twenty years old with a degree, working in a career field that i love with my whole heart, making enough money to spoil myself whenever i want (even though my boyfriend already does that for me), with my own place and my own car, bills on autopay. i promise you this is not serious to me.
i’m here writing fanfiction for fun, that’s it. i have no ulterior motives with this blog except sharing fics and publishing works because, surprisingly to me, people love it. i’m not here to argue or explain to anyone, let alone you, what i have and haven’t done. i’m grown bb, thank you for being so passionate and keeping tabs on me. mwah! <3
just so there’s no “speculations” that i’m rude, i’ll come out and say it for everyone— if you make blogs like this you need to get on indeed.com immediately, like yesterday. find something better to do with your time. drink some matcha, bounce on some dick, smell some flowers… this is not the way, ladies !!!
Tumblr media
123 notes · View notes
noah-price · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it's going to bug me if I don't.
BEN WYATT IN PARKS AND RECREATION (2009 - 2015)
695 notes · View notes
noxious-fennec · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
Hands are too shaky these days
987 notes · View notes
collophora · 5 months ago
Note
Hi there !!! I wanted to let you know your bad batch art is BEAUTIFUL I'm always happy to see it cross my dash!! Your art style is so pretty and I love the way you draw Tech!!
Do you have anymore sketches of Tech we haven't seen yet? No pressure <3!!! Have a lovely day :DD
Oh my that's so sweet thank you! éAè <3 <3 <3 Hughhhhh well since you ask nicely I dug into my wip folder and found a sketch ^^
Tumblr media
144 notes · View notes