#but !! the idea was cool i think ? an it had like 20 chapters and the sequel 30 smth so ill give him credit

[tofixtheshadows]

Hot take: Laios wouldn't actually mind an arranged marriage. Obviously "reluctant royal being pressured into marriage" is very fun for shipping purposes. But I have harlequin blood, so bear with me. Join me on this journey of character theorizing/shipping nonsense that makes it abundantly clear I have a Scrivener document I'm neglecting.

Laios was promised to someone from a young age. He and Falin both were; it's probably how their parents ended up together. They both broke it off by leaving their village, but it didn't seem to be a factor in Laios's own decision. And when Marcille, presumably, asks about his hypothetical love life (bicorn chapter), he not only brings it up readily, but actually seems kind of flattered? lmao

I love when smug Laios comes out. Underrated factor of Laios's personality for me is how much he enjoys being seen as cool. I think you'd expect Laios to be embarrassed or uneasy over this line of questioning, and the fact that he isn't is fun to me.

So when Yaad and his other old advisors bring up his need for a wife, Laios is ready to go along with it. Not necessarily thrilled by the prospect, but he was raised to think of marriage as a business arrangement you do because it's beneficial for your household/bloodline (as was often the case historically). He's already made the big step to claim a throne, and the idea of becoming village chief after his father seemed to have been vaguely in the back of his head all his life. Besides, if he has to do it anyway, I think he'd take comfort that there was a formalized process for an otherwise socially messy undertaking.

This dovetails neatly with my personal headcanon that Laios is gay but unaware of it. He comes from kind of a repressed culture- or at least I can imagine he does based on context clues- and has spent most of his life being ostracized in one way or another, feeling like he's on the outside of humanity. So he doesn't realize that his lack of attraction to women is unusual- he assumes that nobody really enjoys romance that much. It's not like his own parents married for love. It's just something people play up for stories, right?

It's all tangled up with his fraught desire for human connection and platonic companionship anyway. Meanwhile he's blithely unaware that the things he says about Toshiro are not normal bro things. Oh you'd totally marry Toshiro, Laios? Tell me more.

I see this in Marcille too. Firstly due to her unstable development, which has only recently allowed her to reach maturity (I headcanon her as somewhere between 20-22) and secondly due to her being a half-elf (infertile+a too-long lifespan), I think she has the expectation that she's simply not destined for love. The half-elf character she relates to in her favorite books says as much. So she, too, confuses a genuine lack of heterosexual attraction with the belief that this is just because of her half-elf status distancing her from it. Plus, she spent over a decade as a student/researcher in a nice little sheltered academic bubble, at an all-girls academy populated by adolescents. She's the most sheltered of all the characters: she's only spent the past year in the "real world", and she still focuses all her romantic attention on living vicariously through her favorite characters or her friends (except for Falin, conveniently!).

And Marcille would absolutely want to live vicariously through Laios and his future wife. She would not want him to go through a dispassionate formalized process: she wants her bestie to have a fairytale romance! What is the point of being a heroic king in a mythic castle if you can't even get a love story for the ages out of it?

This would result in a lot of Laios meeting with eligible bachelorettes at Marcille's urging, looking to Kabru for help the entire time and being grilled by Marcille afterwards about what he liked best about each girl. "She had nice, um, teeth?" They're both so close to getting it.

Kabru, meanwhile, is agitating for Yaad and the other advisors not lock the country into a hereditary monarchy, they have the chance to do something radical here, to break away from the systems that the elves and dwarves uphold. At the very least, let Laios marry for love, or formally adopt an heir and name them his successor if he wants, he's already sacrificed enough for the sake of Melini. Don't make him jump through these circus hoops for the chance of some trade agreements, we can get those without a royal marriage. And even if Laios was willing to go along with it, he does look at Kabru like he's his hero for sticking up for him.

The vague unhappiness Kabru feels at the idea of Laios being married off is easy for him to ignore. Kabru didn't actually get better at honoring or even recognizing his own wants just because he's moved past the dungeon. And Laios hasn't gotten the hint about his crush on Toshiro and is still 50/50 on saying casually shocking things, so when he remarks that he doesn't need a wife anyway when he has Kabru, he has no idea why that gets him the looks it does. After all, where he's from, men marry women to run their households, but Laios has castle staff for that, and Kabru is handling the rest?

That comment alone ticks one month off their collective gay awakening countdown.

Anyway. How many repressed gays in their twenties does it take to run a country?

Answer: Yaad can tell you.

[bluesidez]

GymRat!Miguel Part 9.2 | full chapter without breaks on AO3

content warning: more fluff, more laughs, a little bit of insecurity from Miguel and reader, underage drinking (all of the characters are aged 18-20 so by USA standards, that's underaged. but college kids will be college kids. and so will high school graduates.), a mention of an edible like once, Hobie is here! (fr this time), Pavitr too, even more jealous Miguel, 18+ so MNDI, wet wet relations, fellatio, cunnilingus, Miguel is a munch (his fantasies are unraveling finally), cum play if you squint, partially public indecency???, I think that's it

word count: 9.3k, halfway proofread (I split it really weirdly so I apologize for that lol)

Some of the links used in this part are just to give you an idea of what's going on! Enjoy! 🩵

Prev (Part 9.1) | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

GymRat!Miguel who texts Tyler while you’re in the shower. 

Dad…Tyler:

“She really loved it. Thank you so much for helping me out with this, Dad.”

“Any time, son! I’m glad everything went well! I can have my people send over the video form of the animation if you would like.”

“Sure, I can have it on hand.”

“And I take it, you like the yacht?”

“It’s extremely nice! Captain Barrett is pretty cool.”

“Don’t tell him you said that or it’ll go to that funny mustache.”

“Ok 😭”

“I did have a question though.”

“Ask away.”

“What did Kron do to his other boat?”

“What didn’t he do to that boat? He had too many friends on that thing all with a mix of substances I could never dream of combining. Their parents had to come drag them out lest the police get involved. I’ve never helped Kron with any event or party since then. He hasn’t earned it and he embarrassed me greatly.”

“Would you be more comfortable if we held off on the drinks?”

“See son, the difference between you and Kron is that you understand the legal ramifications of doing something so idiotic as having illegal items on a property that isn’t yours as a minor. You also have integrity and respect, something that Kron has lost sight of. I trust that neither you nor your friends will do anything too drastic.”

“Yeah, there’s no crazy stuff happening this weekend.”

“I believe it.”

“Get back to your girlfriend now. Thank you for checking up on your old man. Tell her I said hello.”

“For sure. Good night.”

“Good night!”

GymRat!Miguel who opens his arms up to you as you come out of the bathroom. You hurried to lay in his arms, skin warm from your shower. 

You snuggle up under his chin, “Today was really fun.”

“Yeah?” he rubs your head slowly. 

“Mm hm. Now, we should sleep.”

A yawn racks through Miguel’s body, the day of driving settling in his bones. 

You keep your ear on his chest. The steady tempo of his heart and his breaths lulling you to sleep. 

GymRat!Miguel who is still asleep by the time you wake up. You both ended up at opposite ends of the giant bed with just your legs intertwining. 

You look over to Miguel and watch his chest rise and fall, his snores crescendoing at each breath. 

You lay your head back on the pillow, eyes tracing the shape of his face in this morning light. The water was calm, giving the boat a slight rock. Some seagulls flew by, their sounds fading in and out. 

You scoot closer to get a better look, your hand lightly following the line of his face. 

His eyes flutter open at your touch, a brown sea welcoming you. 

“G’morning,” his voice is terribly deep like this. The timbre shoots straight to your core. 

“Morning. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” you whisper. 

Miguel moves to lay his head on your chest, taking a deep breath. “It’s fine. The sight made me feel like I went to heaven.”

He pulled you closer by the waist, “Ten more minutes?”

“Rest up all you need, bear-bear.”

GymRat!Miguel who is just as excited as Gabriel when he gets to the deck that morning. The agenda was swimming with the dolphins before everyone else got here.

Miguel and Gabriel were practically buzzing in their matching wetsuits. Dana snuck in a video laughing at the twin looks on their faces. 

GymRat!Miguel who sneaks glances at your form on the way to the dolphin center. You’re leaning over the edge of the smaller boat, the wind against your face. The wetsuit was doing wonders for the curve of your figure. 

GymRat!Miguel who ends up going into a nerd session about dolphins with Gabriel. Both of them are spitting out dolphin facts at the speed of light. 

 “I just think that if you were to be any dolphin, it’s so obvious that you would be an orca.” 

“But why, though? Because I’m big? That’s a new low, even for you, Gabri.”

“No, it’s because you’re mixed, obviously. Killer whale aka orca aka dolphin. Duh, Miguelito.”

“Don’t ‘duh’ me because that doesn’t even make sense. Orcas are still classified as dolphins even though they look like whales.”

“Just like you-”

“I’m going to smack you off the side of this boat if you finish that sentence.”

“Resulting to violence just like a killer whale, what a shame.”

“You’re so annoying. Orcas are smart, they speak different languages based on their pod, and the name was actually ‘whale killers,’ not ‘killer whales.’ That would make me an orca, but I would not be one because I would never take care of my family but abandon my children.”

“A lot of male dolphins abandon their families. A lot of them hang out with the bros and come back.”

“Female dolphins can do the hard work of carrying babies from ten to eighteen months, so enlighten me, Gabri. What are the male dolphins doing with the bros?”

Gabriel squinted his eyes and put his finger up weakly, “This is a trick question.”

“No it’s not! Don’t you know the answer?” Miguel put his hands out, as if waiting for a physical object to be presented. 

“I do know the answer, which is why I don’t want to give you the satisfaction.”

“Well, now I want to know because you two nerds wouldn’t shut up about bottlenose dolphins just five minutes ago,” Dana scoffs as she takes off her shades, the morning sun too much for her. 

“That’s not the same energy you had last night when I-”

“No one wants to hear that.”

“Shut up, Miguel,” Gabriel snaps back. “They take care of other dolphin babies. And sometimes become friends with benefits with their homies.”

Dana makes a disgusted face, “And you’re defending that? Wow. So when I have your kid you’re going to leave me and go do fuck all with Pavitr?”

“No, Dana, I would never do that! We discussed this! Miguel is going to study seahorses, make me a safe mutation, and I’ll carry them for you!”

“I don’t even study genetics so I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“So you wouldn’t carry her babies?” Gabriel gestures towards you in a panic. 

Miguel looks towards you at the front of the boat, watching the water go by. 

He thought of you as a mom, carrying his kid, holding their hand in the park, picking decor for the nursery. 

He thought of you under him, taking everything he could give you and more. You screaming his name as the bed creaks loud enough to fill the hallway. 

“I would, but that’s not the question right now.”

“Why did it take you so long to answer that?” Gabriel’s tone was high. 

“Oh my god, he was thinking of getting her pregnant,” Dana says in horror. 

“Oh, so I have to listen to your escapades, but I can’t even daydream in silence?”

GymRat!Miguel who listens intently to the staff. No harm shall come to any dolphin on his behalf.  

GymRat!Miguel who makes friends with one of the cute dolphins. Her name is Dotty because of the few spots she has on her body. 

She immediately gravitates towards Miguel. Her blowhole squeals constantly whenever Miguel talks to her. 

“Well I think Dotty is in love!” the instructor yells from across the enclosed water. 

GymRat!Miguel who laughs at Dana who keeps getting splashed on by the baby dolphins. 

GymRat!Miguel who looks so cute with his nose touching Dotty’s rostrum. They’re spinning in circles with Dotty clicking away like a cat purring. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches you interact with one of the bigger dolphins whose name is Mon. 

“Mon and Dotty are a couple, but he’s a little sad today because Dotty isn't giving him any attention,” the instructor says with a giant pout on her face. 

Even Mon’s clicks sounded sad and Miguel didn’t know how that was possible. 

Mon places his chin on your shoulder and you’re immediately in love, rubbing his body and consoling him and his broken heart. 

“It’s ok, Mon. You can hang out with me,” you say in a sweet voice. Mon’s fins squeezed you even tighter. 

A sweater, some random guys, Dana, Blake, and now a dolphin. Miguel can’t win. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches Mon click and spin happily when you feed him fish for doing a trick. 

“That was so good, Monie!” you pat his head, and he leans into your hands. 

GymRat!Miguel who thinks Dotty and Mon are a bit like you and him. They’re twirling in the water together, rubbing their bodies close. 

GymRat!Miguel who sits with you on the boat ride back, watching the dolphins race with the boat halfway to the yacht.

GymRat!Miguel whose eyebrows raise when he sees one of your friends as you guys step off the boat. 

“Hobie!” you squeal, running to hug the lanky figure. 

“My girl! How have you been, love?” he asks, a deep London accent lining his words. 

Love?

“I’m so happy you made it! How’s the apprenticeship? Any new techniques to share?”

“A lot more than techniques, if you know what I mean?” Hobie leaned on you as he snickered away. 

Miguel might pop a fuse. 

GymRat!Miguel who lingers by as you chat away with Hobie. The two of you are catching up for a while and Miguel wants to walk back to the room with you so you can help him take off this tight wetsuit. 

He’s lightly kicking at a puddle with his arms crossed when you call his name. 

“This is my boyfriend, Miguel,” you say, coming up to him and wrapping an arm around his.

“He’s a big one, innit?” Hobie says, holding his hand out. “Hobie Brown.”

Miguel shook it with a sturdy hand, “Miguel O’Hara. Nice to meet you.”

“How long have you known this firecracker for?” Hobie gestured to you with a smile.

“It’ll be a year once August hits. The best ten months of my life, honestly,” Miguel says, leaning down to kiss your temple. 

“She’s got you wrapped ‘round her finger, yeah?” Hobie smirked at the love drunk look on Miguel’s face. “Yeah, you’re a goner. That’s just how she is. One encounter and it’s hard to let go.”

Hobie went to pick up his one backpack, a master at light travel from how much he’s moving. 

“Don’t let me stop yous two from partying. See ya in an hour, love,” Hobie said walking away. 

You look up at Miguel, “The best ten months?”

“Yep. Love?”

“It’s a British thing. He’s friendly!”

“Hm.”

“And definitely demisexual.”

“Hmph.”

“You’re very territorial.”

“For good reason.”

GymRat!Miguel who makes it to the boardwalk after he’s changed to greet their friends and guide them to the yacht. 

There’s a lot of you, especially from Gabriel and Dana’s graduating class. Miguel greets everyone warmly. 

It feels good to unite his old friends and newer friends together.

GymRat!Miguel who makes a plan to be the best at every activity on the agenda today. Yeah, he wanted to have fun, but for some reason, he felt like he had something to prove.

He walks back out to the top deck to see Hobie laying out on the flat slats under the shade. His arms are crossed and his shades are hiding his full expression. 

From here, Miguel can hear Blake chatting it up with some of the girls that are hanging out near the on-deck pool. He looks over the edge and sees him grinning from ear to ear as the girls giggle. He clicks his teeth at the scene. 

“Big Migs, c’mere for a sec, will ya?” Hobie said.

“He’s a bit chatty, that one. An overachiever if I’ve ever seen it.”

On second thought, Miguel might like Hobie a lot.

“All morning, he’s been spitting nothing but rubbish. Going on and on about the boat and the city and his socials. Nothing of substance, just straight air.”

Miguel snickered, “It feels like that’s all he’s got going for himself. His daddy’s boat, his daddy’s money, and his face.”

Miguel recounts the events from last afternoon. How he lacked respect for not only him but for you and your personal space. 

“Not gonna lie, I’d smash his head in,” Hobie replied calmly.

Miguel let out a hearty laugh, “I wanted to and honestly, I could, but there are several circumstances stopping me. Such as the fact that we’re on his dad’s property.”

“But deep it, when’s the next time you’ll need to be on this thing?”

Miguel is about to respond in agreement when you round the corner from the stairs. 

“There you two are!”

You smile at the two of them, “Are you guys getting along? Has Hobie convinced you to join him on some scheme across the country?”

Miguel took a deep breath before responding. He knew what outfits you brought with you, a lot of them matched his own, but it was still like new whenever you put them on. 

He didn’t have enough time in the world to cherish your beauty. 

“They’re not schemes, baby, they’re elaborate plans,” Miguel responds.

“Man like, Migs!” Hobie hops up and drags his arm around Miguel’s shoulders. 

You shake your head with a warm smile on your face, laughing at Hobie’s antics.

“And you look stunning. Though, I’m not too sure if it’s fit for hoverboarding.”

“That’s because I’m jet skiing and shaking ass, Hobie. You guys can have fun flipping in the air.”

“Right on, then. Migs and I have important business to attend to.”

Miguel nods, “Extremely important.”

You eyed them both, “Uh huh.” They left in a controlled frenzy, Hobie pulling his wicks up with a giant band and Miguel cracking his neck.

You didn’t even want to know. 

GymRat!Miguel who is a bit peeved that Blake has to give the water hoverboard demonstration. He’s staying up there longer than necessary, grabbing girls to balance them in the middle of his board while he flips them around.

You’re standing next to Miguel during it all, waiting for Miguel’s turn so you can get a video.

“Hey!” Blake yells out in your direction. “Wanna take it for a spin?”

You shake your head and yell back, “No, I’m good!”

“Just three minutes! Don’t be scared! I won’t drop you.”

“No thanks,” you bite back, voice irritated. 

Blake smiles with a hand on his hip, ready to convince you, when Hobie pipes up, “The lady said no. Can we move on?”

Blake’s face cracked a bit as he told one of the crew members to kill the power in the waterboard. 

“What is up with him?” you mumble to yourself. 

“I think he likes you,” Pavitr remarked. “He wouldn’t stop asking Gabriel questions about you.”

“He’s really pushing it,” Miguel scoffed. Not only was he being overly flirty to every girl on board, he was adamant about getting your attention. “No wonder he gets along with Kron.”

You sported a twisted lip as you watched him strap up one of Gabriel’s friends. “I don’t know. Even if I was single, he’s a bit too…tiny. Communal.”

The laugh that left Miguel wiped the scowl right off of his face.

GymRat!Miguel who gets the hang of the hoverboard after one try. You’re recording him with a big smile on your face as he tries to spell “love” in the air. 

GymRat!Miguel who dies laughing at Gabriel’s horrible attempts at staying in the air. His body keeps shaking like a baby deer and he’s steady yelling in garbled Spanish. 

By the time his turn is over, Miguel is laid out on the boardwalk with tears down his face.

“This isn’t fucking funny, Miguel,” Gabriel cries out.

Miguel just rolls and laughs some more. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches you expertly drive a jet ski from the edge of the yacht. You’re shouting with one arm in the air as you race Dana and some of her friends. 

Miguel leans his head on his hand as he watches you zoom across the ocean. Your skin is glowing, your smile is sparkling, and your laugh is bright. 

GymRat!Miguel whose bubble of thoughts involving you, him, the water, some fruit, and a floatie is popped when Blake’s voice pierces through. 

“She’s pretty good at that.”

“Yep.” Maybe if Miguel ignored him enough, he’d go away.

“Looks like a dream, too.”

“Are you dumb or something?” Miguel turns his body, gripping the rail to not get in Blake’s face, but extending his height to cower over him.

“Woah,” Blake holds his hands up. “It was a compliment, dude, chill out. You’re not mad at me for finding her beautiful, are you?”

“That’s not what the fuck you’re doing and you know it.”

Blake makes a confused face, laughing off Miguel’s statement, “Kron said you guys were open.”

“Does it look like we’re fucking open?”

“Well, at first-”

“Keep talking and you’ll end up just like him. Knocked out. Do you want that?” Miguel edged closer to him. “Huh?”

Blake bristles, ready to defend himself when his head is knocked to the side. 

He looks next to him to see a gaggle of girls all with waterballoons and nerf guns. They yell at him to come on and pick a side. 

Blake scrambles to join them.

Miguel is about to follow when Hobie sweeps in front of him, “Cool it.”

GymRat!Miguel who almost takes an edible from Hobie but decides against it. 

“The offer is open all weekend.”

“Noted.”

GymRat!Miguel who gets roped into playing some games to start off the night, one of which is Never Have I Ever with shots. 

It started off innocently with things like peeing in a pool and cheating on a test to which everyone looked in shock at Miguel when he put a finger down. 

“I’m smart but if there’s a group effort to get the right answers, I’m not going to say no.”

Then it went left field and personal with things like threesomes, drunkenly fighting with others, and streaking. 

“Never have I ever…received head from a partner!”

A few of the guys put a finger down, groaning out and snickering as they had to take another shot. 

Miguel was trying not to dwell on how many experiences he lacked compared to the group, a lot of them younger than him. 

He rubbed his tongue across his teeth. He didn’t want to show his irritation on his face. 

Looking across the circle, he could see Gabriel’s eyes get wide, staring off beside you. 

Miguel followed his line of sight landing on you with a finger down and a shot in your hand. 

What the fuck. 

Who the fuck beat him to it? Where the fuck did it happen? When the fuck did it happen? How the fuck did he not know?

He’s ready for the game to be over. 

“Miguel is putting in work!” one guy pushes his elbow against Miguel’s side, laughing and patting his shoulders. 

Well, if people think he did it, it’s not so bad. 

“Oh my god, girl, how was it?” Dana’s friend asked you. 

Miguel tried his best not to scream bloody murder. 

“It was,” you pause, looking up to ponder. “It was something! Not particularly fun or good. My ex wasn’t the best at listening so he just poked at me. I faked everything that night.”

Miguel smirked. There were no big shoes to fill because they were never taken out of the box. Or even out of the store. 

“That sucks. I bet he thought you were in heaven.”

You laugh with the girls, joking in a way similar to the women that flooded Miguel’s for-you page. 

Miguel stepped away to get a breather. If he stayed any longer, he might do something drastic. 

GymRat!Miguel who is leaning on the boat when Gabriel comes to check up on him. 

“You ok, Miguelito?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. A little overwhelmed so I need to reset,” Miguel wrung his wrists while he let the sea breeze cool him down. 

“Is it the game? Don’t feel so bad,” Gabriel leans closer to Miguel and speaks in a stage whisper. “Some of them are a little too fast for their own good.”

Miguel snickered. Gabriel was definitely tipsy. 

“Thanks, Gabri.”

“Anytime. Don’t let them bring you down. You’re my perfect Miguelito. My pure baby!” Gabriel kissed him on the cheek.

“Ugh,” Miguel laughed and wiped at his wet cheek.

“Don’t wipe away at my love, broski.”

GymRat!Miguel who is guided by you in a dance. You’re a little tipsy and giggly, holding onto him as you dance to the music. 

Miguel just holds onto your hips and smiles with you. 

GymRat!Miguel who is locked in on your body as you grind against him. You’re arching your back and looking at him with a sparkle in your eye and Miguel feels like a wild animal.

When you lean back against him, he whispers in your ear about a private party just for the two of you. You bite your lip and turn to look at him. His eyes are tracing your lips and his hands are groping you. 

GymRat!Miguel who laughs at you as you wish everyone a good night quickly.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning!” you shout to your friends as you pull Miguel behind you to the room.

GymRat!Miguel who waits for you on the bed while you use the bathroom. 

He’s excited for an intimate night with just you. Parties were fun but it really couldn’t beat the serenity of smaller groups. It especially couldn’t beat talking all night with you. 

Everyone else was chilling out in other parts of the yacht, back in their hotel rooms, or night paddle boarding. 

You’re in the bathroom staring at the thin fabric in your hand. 

Miguel told you that there was a pool involved. 

You bought a micro bikini during a surge of confidence. It looked so cute on the model and you wanted to feel the same way. 

Now you’re standing in the bathroom freaking out, worried to death over the flimsy material. You were excited about Miguel seeing it, but you couldn’t shake your own nerves about how everything would play out. 

A knock at the door makes you jump.

You crack the door and peer up at Miguel. 

“You ok in there?” he asked, eyebrows pinched. 

“Yeah, I’m ok! I’ll be out in just a sec!”

You bite the bullet and place the bikini on. 

You didn’t account for your areolas to poke out beyond the triangles. You bit your lip as you turned to check out your backside.

At least your ass looked great. 

In a nervous motion, you pull your coverup over you and pull your hair up so that it doesn’t get too ruined by the water. It was now or never. 

GymRat!Miguel who holds your hand as he guides you to the private area. You’re squeezing his hand so tight. 

One of the stewardesses smiles as she sees you two coming. She stands next to a rope cutting off the area. 

“Good evening to you both! I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay so far,” her voice is polite and even. “Tonight, it’ll be just you two enjoying the Galaxy. If you need anything, just press the call button on the wall and I’ll be right down.”

She unlatches the rope and holds her arm out in the direction of the stairs.

You both slowly descend, careful not to slip on the trippy-looking wood. 

Taking a step into the room, Miguel stares in awe at the glowing pool. 

There’s petals fluttering about, small fairy lights surround the corners to add extra light. Looking up, you both can see the night sky with the stars adorning it. 

“This is beautiful,” you say, the lights surrounding you glittering in your eyes. 

You were staring at the stars and the lights but Miguel couldn’t help but to think that you were the most beautiful part of the room. 

He said this much to you, watching as you bent your head down hiding the smile on your face. Miguel lifted it back up and kissed you under the light of the stars. 

“Ready?” 

“Yeah, let me just go take this off.” 

You walk towards a chair with folded towels placed on it. 

“Miguel, these have our names on them!” you say with shock, running your fingers over the embroidered letters. Hearts surrounded the names and you felt fuzzy from the implication of the stewardess preparing this. 

“Yeah, I heard it was a part of the couple’s bundle,” he shouts from the pool. It wasn’t really a part of the bundle, but Miguel suggested it way before the trip. 

His back was turned to you, trying to set up a speaker by the pool. 

The moment was perfect, so you opened a champagne bottle and poured two glasses. You took a huge gulp of one and removed your slip. 

GymRat!Miguel who hears you entering the water, so he hurries to pick out a song. 

The mood needs to be right. 

He turns to you and nearly drowns at the sight. (Art is not affiliated with this fic, but I couldn't find any plus-size women in real life on Pinterest with this type of bikini! Please give this artist some love, I love their art!)

You’re coming down the stairs with two glasses in your hand and your skin on full display. The strings are digging tight into your skin and your breasts are practically spilling out from every side. 

Miguel is stunned.

“Come grab your drink, Miguel,” your voice is like butter in his ears. 

His eyes don’t leave you as he swims across the pool. The only sounds that could be heard are the water moving around him and the music playing. When he gets closer, he stands up, water dripping down his body. He’s breathing hard and is laser-focused on your frame. 

You feel an array of emotions. You feel like running, jumping, maybe hiding. His gaze is too heavy and he hasn’t spoken a word yet. 

You don’t know how long you two stare at each other before Miguel breaks the tension, “You’re going to be the death of me.”

He takes the glasses from your hand with one hand and picks you up in the other. You cling to him as he goes to the edge of the pool, places one glass down and chugs the other. 

In a flash, you’re sitting on the edge and he’s holding his body out of the water in order to kiss you. 

He pushes your mouth open, pulling at your lip with his teeth. He was desperate, wanting more. 

Your hands find your way to his hair, the tips wet from his swim. You card your fingers through his locks, opening your mouth wider as Miguel groans onto your tongue. 

He can’t stop, body moving forward the deeper the kisses get. Your legs open wider and your hands fall down Miguel’s back. You go lower than usual, pushing your hands under his swimsuit, fingertips grazing over the skin of his ass. 

Miguel parts, spit-ridden mouth red and messy. 

“You’re making this so hard for me,” he says against your lips. You’re both panting into each other’s mouths. 

Your body feels like jelly. The way that he’s looking at you fills you with desire, “Making what hard?” You’re quivering and clenching as his eyes seem to get darker. 

“Baby,” Miguel kisses the corner of your lips then your jaw. He moves to where your jaw and neck connect, licking  “Amor. I can’t.”

You move your head, encouraging him to continue, “You can if you want to.”

“No, I’m supposed to take this slow,” his mouth moved to your collarbone, sucking at the skin as you squeezed your thighs around him. “I need to take this slow.”

He gets to your breasts, pressing your nipples through the material and watching as your areolas poked out more. “Mierda.”

You try to talk as Miguel takes one breast into his mouth, “It’s ok to want more. I want, ugh, I want you to take more.” He pulls at your nipple, watching as it rises more through the fabric. His thumb traces it, causing you to twitch in his hold. 

He continues to rub over the fabric as he kisses down your stomach. The string is wrapping around your stomach like a gift just for him. 

“Tomorrow, baby,” he says into your skin. “I’ll take more tomorrow.”

He needed to stop before he broke the promise he made to himself. 

He hears you whine as he gets eerily close to your sex before jerking his body straight. 

“Why?” you sound so needy and broken. 

“Because,” he kisses your pout away. “Tomorrow, I’m going to take all I need. You just need to trust me. Please.”

You nod your head, heart pounding with his words. 

GymRat!Miguel who lets you persuade him into swapping places. All it took was a few blinks of your eyes and Miguel was swooning.

“I saw you walk away during the game today. I wanted to make sure that the next time you play, you’re able to put a finger down.”

That’s what you told him with a sweet smile on your face.

Now you’re rubbing up his thighs and Miguel is about to pass out from the view of you peering up at him. Your eyes were foggy and the slope of your neck to your chest was glistening. From this angle, Miguel could see the curve of your ass with the bikini barely covering it.

You run your hands down his chest, fingers dancing along the slopes and planes, leaving a wet trail in your wake. Miguel’s stomach tightens as you make it below his belly button, the sensation of your fingertips across his happy trail building a fury in his core.

You kiss him through his swimsuit causing him to jump.

You hold his thighs and tilt your head to lean on one, “Are you nervous, Miggy?” Your knuckles rake against his groin, lingering in spots that made his inner thighs clench the most.

“I,” Miguel is trembling like a leaf. He can barely get the words out from how much energy he's using to hold himself up. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” You lift your body from the water a little, pressing your tits closer to his clothed sex. “Baby, I need you to know. I can’t go further without your permission.”

Miguel feels like he could cum right now.

“I’m really nervous, but I want to experience this.”

You hum as you start to pull at his waistband. His eyes scrunch closed as his dick springs up. 

You’re met with a sight you had missed. The size is still as intimidating as the last time. 

You rub his thighs and give yourself a quiet pep talk. You were determined to make your boyfriend feel good. 

Miguel looks back down at you and swallows dryly, anxious at the look in your eyes and your silence, “If it’s too much, w-we can stop here-”

“No.”

The first lick of his tip has Miguel rising off of the pool edge, pre-cum escaping him.

He whines, embarrassed at his lack of control, but his dick is twitching from the sensation.

“Miguel,” your hands are back on his hips at a flimsy attempt to hold him down. “You need to be careful, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby right now.” Miguel’s voice is winded like he’s been running a marathon.

You look up at him. His mouth is twisted up and his eyebrows are furrowed. His stomach keeps shaking and his elbows don’t know if they want to bend or extend. When he looks down at you, he lets out a whimper, dick jerking against his will.

You hold your lips right above the head, the heat of it making you excited, “Baby.”

Miguel jerks again as you take his tip into your mouth, more of his pre-cum slipping out. His body is wound tight and he’s losing sense of it. Your mouth is so warm and he’s crying out from just you suckling along the head. He would be grateful with just this alone.

You push yourself lower, mouth adjusting to the widening girth. You don’t know if it’s the champagne combined with the other drinks you’ve had today, but the taste is making your mind fuzzy. 

You hum as you move your tongue along the underside of his length, his essence melting into your mouth. Miguel continues to twitch against your lips. 

You look up and he just groans when his eyes connect with yours. 

“P-pretty,” he stutters out, brain-to-mouth filter completely disintegrating. One of his arms covers his mouth as he fights to quiet down. There’s no telling what the stewardess could hear from above. 

You decided to go deeper, wanting to hear him some more. You make it halfway down before you grip his shaft and give it a few semi-dry pumps. 

Miguel just about shouts at the sensation, legs jerking enough to splash the water around you. 

Satisfied with the reaction, you release him with a pop and slide your tongue down to the base, trying to get him as wet as possible for what you’re about to attempt to do. You pucker your lips to leave wet kisses all over his shaft, sucking occasionally. 

All Miguel can do is whimper and shake. 

You hold him, sliding your hand up and down, applying pressure whenever you glide over the top, “You can hold on to me.”

Miguel shakes his head and releases his bottom lip from his teeth to speak, but his words are jumbled up in a heated mess. 

“Say it again, Miguel. I don’t understand,” you bring your mouth to the head again, this time, cupping his balls as you slide back down. 

Early spurts of cum land in your mouth as Miguel uselessly grips at the flat ground. He’s moaning out your name and if you weren’t sliding him down your throat, you would think he’s crying for you. 

“I-I don’t wanna hurt you,” Miguel takes heavy breaths in the middle of his sentence. 

Even like this he was oh so sweet. You don’t push it and continue on. 

As you reach the hilt, you force yourself to relax, thumb pressed against your fisted palm. He was heavy on your tongue and you needed to find the right pace. 

You slowly move your head up and down, lips wet with spit and slick. You build a steady tempo that has Miguel involuntarily moving his hips and moaning in a senseless manner. 

He was conflicted, core heated at the sound of your throat barely taking him, but wanting to pull you off so you don’t choke all because of him. Hot tears ran down his face as you didn’t let up. 

He chooses the latter, foggy mind coming to a decision. His shaky hands reach towards your face, your cheeks hallowed and eyes closed. His hands make it to your cheeks when you reach the hilt again and swallow around his head. 

Miguel scares himself with the moan he lets out. 

You panic as you swallow his load, mouth completely full. 

Miguel hurries to pull you off, “Shit! Baby, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s ok,” you cough as you try to catch your breath. Drips of him that you didn’t swallow falling to your chest. “I wish you would have told me you were about cum, though.”

“I didn’t know!” he’s red in the face. “God, I’m so sorry!”

“Was it good, though?” You look up at him with lips and sparkling eyes. You’re holding your tits up so that his cum wouldn’t get in the pool. 

Miguel’s dick twitches like it’s trying to wake back up again. You notice it and a grin plants itself right onto your face. 

“Do you really have to ask me that?”

“Yes, Miggy.”

“I think my embarrassing finish was enough but yes, you made me feel good. It was way more than good. Now come out of the pool before you get any more ideas.”

“It wasn’t embarrassing!” you reply as Miguel picks you up from the water and on his stomach while lays back. “‘Was kinda hot. You felt so good that you couldn’t wait.”

You slide your finger over your cleavage to pick up the leftover essence and plop right in your mouth. 

Miguel grips your thighs as he looks up at you, “No, stop that, you vixen.”

You’re going to be the death of him for sure. 

GymRat!Miguel whose legs are like jelly when you help him up from the ground. His thighs haven’t shaken this much since his first leg day almost five years ago. 

“Do you need to lie down on the beach chair for a minute?” you ask with genuine concern. 

“Yeah, I think I need a second,” Miguel says, trying his best not to put his entire weight onto you. 

GymRat!Miguel who watches you watch him from the pool. You’re at the edge, leaning over and smiling at him while you let your body float. 

“Next time, I want to get, like, really hoarse. We should work on your resistance and my tolerance. Oh! And maybe we can do that thing where I hold your-”

“Amor, please. Let’s talk about this when I’m not halfway dying,” Miguel groans, dick half hard. “How are you so good at this anyway?”

“Practice! With my ex and like one other fling. They weren’t nearly as responsive as you, though.”

Miguel squints at your figure. 

“Or fun. Or satisfying. Or tasty. Or big. Can I do it one more time, Miggy?”

Miguel stares at you for a minute or two then groans, “Come on.”

You leave the water and walk over to him with glee. 

GymRat!Miguel who grabs lightly onto your head this time, fingers twitching occasionally. His legs are parted and you’re laid out on the horizontal part of the beach chair. Miguel is constantly looking from your face to your ass, experiencing a sensation overload. You take it easy on him this time, saving some of your tricks and things you wanted to try for a later date. 

The room is filled once again with Miguel’s grunts and whimpers plus your mouth and throat molding unto him. 

GymRat!Miguel who warns you this time. You let go with a pop and let him paint your open mouth. He shudders as you look at him through it all, pumping him slowly until he can't take anymore. A lonely tear escaped him, eyes heavy and chest heaving. 

GymRat!Miguel who barely makes it back up the stairs. He gives the stewardess a polite smile but you can barely look at her for longer than a second. 

“It was really lovely,” you say leaning into Miguel’s side, voice a little gone. 

“Yeah, amazing,” Miguel snickers. You nudge him at the back of his leg causing him to stagger a bit. 

The stewardess just laughs and wishes you both a good night. 

GymRat!Miguel who sleeps like a log that night. His soul needed to rejuvenate. 

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up a new man. He feels like he can conquer the world. As of now, the world is a new set of water activities with their friends. 

He kisses you on the cheek in your sleeping state makes his way out to the deck, wanting to do some morning stretches and yoga if he could fit it in. 

He walked out to see Dana talking to Blake, an indifferent look on her face.

“I just can’t believe he would lie to me like that, you know? Like that’s fucked up. Here I was, ready to get something and he set me up.” 

“Yeah, no. That really sucks,” Dana replies with a big yawn.

“I mean, I thought we were bros. I thought-”

“Miguel! My knight in shining armor,” Dana practically screams when she spots Miguel.

Blake tenses up so that if he mimics a timid raccoon. 

“Morning,” Miguel walks up to them.

Blake breaks out into a sweat, “Hey man, I’m sorry about last night. I would have never done that stuff if I knew. I don’t know why Kron told me you guys were open.”

“I think you need some new friends and better social cues,” Miguel brushed Blake off and walked with Dana onto the boardwalk. 

“Thank god you got here. That was his fourth iteration of ‘bro code should be respected.’ I was going to start screaming if he kept talking.”

GymRat!Miguel who lets Dana guide him in a mini yoga class on the beach. It’s pretty nice with the waves crashing and the birds squawking occasionally.

GymRat!Miguel whose downward dog pose is almost disrupted by you whistling from a spot in the sand. 

You and Gabriel had snuck up on Miguel and Dana, cackling like hyenas.

“Baby, I think you can go deeper,” you shout over the waves, encouraging Miguel to stretch.

“Gross,” Gabriel shudders. 

GymRat!Miguel who wants to use you for a flying pose but you refuse. 

“I’m not walking back with sand up my back.”

“Can we try it later, though?” Miguel pouted. 

“On safe carpet, yes.”

GymRat!Miguel who settles for a forward fold with you. You stretch your body across his back as he reaches down to touch his toes. 

It’s nice until you both switch positions. 

“I think I’m dying,” you gasp out. You sound like an old man on his last breath. 

“No, you’re not. You just need more practice,” Miguel chides from above. 

“When will I ever need this pose in life?”

“Flexibility is good for you!” Miguel replies after a while. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

GymRat!Miguel who tilts his head at your breakfast plate piled with pineapples. 

“You don’t want an omelet?”

“Maybe later.”

GymRat!Miguel who joined any group activity he could. 

From the inflatable water obstacle course,  

which Gabriel cheated on by the way,

To the boat tour, he got so many pictures for you for his rotating home screen,

To the banana boat rides that he almost lost his life on. It took you, Gabriel, and Dana to hold onto him. 

GymRat!Miguel who surprises you with a “rooftop” dinner on the horizon on the highest part of the yacht. You’re wearing that same green dress that made him go crazy in the dressing room. 

“This is so gorgeous, Miguel,” you sigh as you take in the small scene. 

From up here, you could see the breathtaking view of the ocean and the city. The sun was close to setting, people were out and about, and the group was partaking in last-minute activities like parasailing and water walking with bubble balls but you could only focus on the glow around Miguel. 

“Did you enjoy this weekend?”

You nod your head, shy with attention, “I really did. I had so much fun.”

“Even with boys that don’t understand the word ‘no’?”

“When I have my strong boyfriend there to defend me, what is there to be afraid of?” you smile at him. 

Miguel sits up straighter at that, chest puffing out.

You laugh at his state, “Seriously, though. This was one of the best summers ever. I’m really glad Mr. Stone arranged this and I’m even more glad that you brought me along.”

“Of course I did. You’re my girl. Mi amor, mi luz,” Miguel reached out to run your hand. “I’m not letting you go anytime soon.”

Like a flower unfurled, your heart took in his words. You leaned across the table until you could brush your lips with his, only the sun peeking through the two of you. 

You let go and lean back a little. “I’m not letting go of you either. I want you by my side,” you say, eyes panning back and forth between his.

“And that’s where I’ll stay.”

GymRat!Miguel who covers your eyes on the way back to the room.

You’re whining because you don’t have nearly as much planned for him as he always does for you. 

“Amor, you could just text me an emoji and I would be happy. You deserve good things. Don’t worry about me.”

GymRat!Miguel who wraps his arm around you as you open your eyes to the room. 

It’s lit with soft lights, decorated lightly with rose petals in the shape of a heart on the ground, and a banner full of pictures with the two of you. Pictures from outside of lab, pictures of you with oil paint on your face, pictures of him piled with notes in the study lab. 

Pictures of you both on your early dates, pictures of you looking at him in the car, pictures where he’s kissing your face off. 

You gasp at the scene, feet stuck in the entryway.

“Surprise,” Miguel says into your ear, kissing the top of it.

“I don’t think I have any tears left,” your voice is watery enough to dispute that lie.

GymRat!Miguel who kisses you deeply in the middle of the rose heart. You’re cradling his face with one hand and rubbing your thumb across his sideburn with another.

You’re so wrapped up in his arms and his presence that you miss his question.

“Can you do what?”

Miguel’s hands find their way to your ass, pulling you even closer, “Can I please eat you out?”

When you stare at him with your eyebrows raised, it only pushes him to continue.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I’ve dreamed about it, researched how to do it, studied it, daydreamed about it. I need to do it before I go crazy.”

He bent down to get on his knees, hands never letting go of your body.

“Please, baby. If you’ll allow me, I really want to make you feel good.”

At first, all you could think was that Dana was right and definitely a girl’s girl. Then, you looked down at Miguel whose head was pressed up against your torso, eyes pleading with you. 

You ran your hand through his hair, “You need to do it?”

“Uh huh,” he nodded, nuzzling into your body through your dress. 

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to fake my reactions for you.” You didn’t have the heart to lie to him like that, especially when he’s looking at you like that. 

“You won’t have to,” Miguel mumbles into your skin. “I’m confident, but if something is weird, stop me immediately.”

GymRat!Miguel who doesn’t give you time to think when you whisper out an “ok.” He’s picking you up by the legs and plopping you on the bed.

Like a switch, he’s kissing down your body, pulling at the stretchy green fabric to expose your skin. He’s crowding your space in the most desired way possible, a fire building within him.

“Miguel, the dress isn’t going to come off like that,” you say, internally laughing at Miguel tugging to no avail. 

He starts to pull so hard that you can hear threads ripping. Before you can stop him, there’s a makeshift slit up your thigh. 

You lean up on your elbows and give Miguel a look. He just stares sheepishly and lets you stand up to pull the dress off. 

“You gotta be more patient baby,” you purred, bending down to kiss his lips. 

When you lean back, you move backwards to sit on the bed. It’s just you, your black panties, and a hungry Miguel at your feet.

The further you inch up the bed, the more Miguel crawls to be closer to you. 

“Can I kiss you?” he breathes into your mouth, eyes never leaving yours.

“Please.”

Miguel melts into your skin, mouth molding to a familiar shape. His breaths are heavy and sporadic, too excited to finally know what you feel like on his tongue.

You reach to pull his shirt off, wanting to feel his chest against yours, wanting to feel the expanse of his back while he pressed up against you. Miguel follows your movements without letting up.

He sighed into your lips with pleasure as he let his hand flow down your body, grabbing a breast to massage. You hummed into his mouth, legs parting to bring him closer. Eager to please, Miguel slipped his shorts below his bulged, grinding against you.

You start to wrap your legs around his waist before Miguel interrupts you with a sturdy hand under your knee, and a promise to devour you to your neck.

GymRat!Miguel who groans when he slides your panties down your legs. The slope of your thick thighs to your ass has Miguel ready to burst. 

He gets on his knees to maneuver your legs up into your arms. You peek up at him over your knees, your wet cunt kissing the air. 

He licks his lips at the sight, taking a tentative touch at your wet lips. 

You jump at the sensation, the feeling of Miguel seeing you this vulnerable new. 

He bends down to kiss them, hands on the back of your thighs for extra support. Your core flutters as he takes a few more kisses to your sex, tongue reaching out to trace from the bottom to the top. At the first taste, Miguel is groaning into you, sending vibrations through your body. 

You sigh out in bliss as your grip loosens on your legs. Miguel flattens his body on the bed and spreads your legs wide, tongue continuing to savor the taste of you. 

At this angle, Miguel pushes his tongue in between your folds, feeling your warmth around him. He laps at your entrance slowly causing you to flutter around him and reach for his hair.

He slurps up the juices that try to escape him causing you to moan out his name. He just hums in response, breaching further inside. The more noises he makes, the wetter you get. The room is full of the sound of him lapping everything he gave you and your quiet moans.

“Miguel,” your breath hitched as he swiped over a particular spot. You look down at Miguel whose eyes are closed and hands are tight on your thighs. You feel a building heat seeing how much of a trance he’s in. 

Just when you feel a bud sprouting within you, he directs his attention towards your clit, searching until he finds it. At the first skim across it, your hips are bucking up off the bed. Miguel is quick to hold you down, placing his weight on your thighs and lapping continuously at the pearl. 

“Fuck!” you shout, hitting the mattress. You’re writhing beneath him, unable to control your body. “Don’t stop, Miguel, please.”

Miguel groans through it all, lapping up every drop. 

“Baby, I’m gonna-” a scream pushes through you as your body shakes with pleasure. Miguel takes it like a champ, slurping like you were his last meal.

As you twitch with aftershocks, Miguel barely gives you time to recover before he’s diving back into your entrance. You let out a sob, still sensitive and quivering as your legs move too close before Miguel growls and wraps his arms around your thighs to keep them open. 

He’s sinking into you, moving his tongue at a steady pace and sucking in between. Your moans were a pool of words from his name to begging to profanities crescendoing across the air.

Miguel would rarely part for air, adamant on bringing you to the hilt again. Your thighs were tensing up as Miguel kept going, fire building as you grabbed his hair and jerked your hips in time with his movements. 

Your climax comes in waves, your hands tighter in his hair and an arch in your back. When you clench over his tongue and your release hits his mouth, Miguel’s eyes start to roll and he’s rubbing his nose against your clit. You yell even louder as Miguel pushes his face incredibly deep into your pussy. He’s rutting into the bed at the sound of your voice, moaning with you. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The captain swore that the VIP suite was soundproof, but your voice was practically carrying across the yacht. 

“She’s getting it good! Just like I promised,” Dana smiles to herself. 

“What did you promise? I was the one that gave Miguel tips.” Gabriel moved his headphones aside. 

“Oh yeah? And what tips did you give him?” She had her eyebrow raised and a silly smirk on her face. 

There was a pause of silence between them, only your voice filling up the space occasionally. Gabriel stared at Dana with a goofy grin.

He reached over and connected his phone to his speaker, putting on his special playlist. “Want to find out?”

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

GymRat!Miguel who has to be pulled off your sex with both of your hands. His eyes are glazed over and his chin is soaked. Every chance you came after the first two times, your body would move up the bed and Miguel was sure to follow. 

“Ok, ok, baby,” you heave. Your legs are spasming, a result of the position and Miguel’s willingness to have you cum over and over again.

You were tapping out, body sore and tired. 

Miguel left a final long kiss to your clit, a trail of essence following his lips. He kissed up one of your thighs with a hungry look still in his eyes.

“¿Lo hice bien, cariño?” (Did I do it well, baby/darling?)

You trembled at his touch, limbs still heavy and mind in the clouds. 

Still, this was the best you’ve felt in a while.

You open your mouth to whisper, “Lo hiciste muy bien.” (You did so good.)

GymRat!Miguel who has to calm down internally at your answer. You don’t talk to him in Spanish often, but when you do, he’s over the moon. 

GymRat!Miguel who carries you to the bathroom to clean you off.

“Baby, I can’t walk. You’ll have to carry me for the rest of your life.”

“I’m totally fine with that.”

GymRat!Miguel who shocks you when he says that you don’t need to worry about bringing him relief. 

“Amor, I came when you came. After that, it was really all about you.”

“Oh!”

GymRat!Miguel who pats his past self on the back for asking the crew for extra sheets. He had no clue how the evening would go, but something in him told him to be overprepared. 

Those old sheets were beyond ruined. 

GymRat!Miguel who rubs your legs and stomach with aloe vera lotion after the shower. Not only did he stretch you a little further than you’re used to, but his bite marks left a big impression. 

GymRat!Miguel who cuddles you to sleep. If you wore him out the other night, he definitely put you through the ringer. You were gone after three rubs to your back. 

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up early with you to send off all of your friends. You’re yawning constantly, tears sticking to the corners of your eyes.

“Someone had a time last night,” Hobie snickers as he walks past with his backpack. 

“Shut up, Hobie,” you say, already flustered. 

“What? It’s true! If I didn’t know Migs' name before, I sure do now.”

“I’m going to backflip off of this boat.”

GymRat!Miguel who grants Captain Barrett a goodbye, thanking him for letting them use his boat.

“It was a pleasure to host you, Miguel. If you and your girlfriend ever need to, my superyacht is available for any future formal events!” he elbows Miguel with a giant grin, curled mustache moving like it was paid to do so. 

“I’ll keep that in mind, Cap.”

For Miguel, the man with the plan, he would grant Mission A: Eat You Out, a huge success and the start of the summer one to remember.

divider by: @iwonbin 🩵

Part 9.1 here!

a/n: And with that, the yacht chapter is finished! I hope you guys enjoyed it and got your life. 🤭 It was both challenging and rewarding to write this GIANT chapter. I hope that you guys have fun with it like I did! I have no idea how the next chapter OR Miguel's Mission B: Virgin No More plan will go, but!!! Hopefully, it will be pleasant regardless! 🤠

ALSO! I have decided to give this drabble that's basically a fic a proper name (mostly for AO3). Do you all have any suggestions?

As always, like, comment, and reblog. Let me know how you feel! 🩵

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[chelseasdagger]

Teacher - Chapter III

Frank Castle x Inexperienced F!Reader

Summary: Frank invites you to hang out with him at a bar on the outskirts of town. After some good food, and lots of teasing, you get invited back to his place to take care of the problem you caused him.

Warnings: age gap (reader is in her early 20s), mentions of drinking and smoking, cursing, grinding, detailed handjob sorry, slight praise kink

Author's Note: I am so incredibly sorry for how long it took for this chapter to come out!! I had a lot of life issues that delayed this, but I'm pretty happy with how this turned out so please accept this super long chapter as my apology/holiday gift!! And if you want to be added to the tag list just let me know. As always, reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated :) Leave a comment or shoot me an ask!! I'd love to hear what you think!

Word Count: 9k

Previous Chapters: I, II

“So I was thinkin’… Said you didn’t get many experiences even after high school, right?” Frank asks. His voice slightly muffled through the phone, which is wedged between your ear and your shoulder as you drag the spatula over the food you’re cooking on the stove. He had randomly rang you out of the blue and, after attempting to control your breathing, you answered the call. This was what he chose to greet you with and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t confused by the topic of conversation.

“Good morning to you too,” you tease, the food sizzling as you flip it in the pan. “But no, I haven’t. Why? What’s up?” you question.

“There’s this bar on the edge of town,” he begins his offer. “Little bit of a drive but they got good food,” he explains. 

“Tempting…” you trail off, trying not to immediately agree just because it’s Frank. “Who all is coming?”

“Just me,” he replies. “That alright?”

“Yeah!” Your answer is too loud and far too fast to be playing it cool. After cursing yourself mentally, you try again. “Yeah, I was just wondering if it was a whole… get-together thing.” Your voice grows quiet at the end, not wanting to plant the idea in his head that you’d prefer it if there were more people.

Honestly, you were surprised he was reaching out this soon after the bonfire. It was one of the best nights of your life. Whenever you think about it, there’s this warmth that rushes through you; you’re not sure if the heat was from the big flames or his strong chest you laid against all night.

“Nah, just me. Just thought it would be somethin’ you might like,” you push the spatula around in the teflon pan as he speaks. “Plus it’s another thing off the list, right?”

“Yeah, it is! Thanks, Frank,” you say cheerily as you turn the burner off and open the cupboards to grab two plates.

“No problem, kid. Just thought about you, y’know?” You sink your teeth in your lower lip to calm yourself down before another thought comes to mind.

“Oh! When are we going?”

“Tonight,” he answers nonchalantly and your eyes grow wide. “If you’re free.”

You seriously weren’t expecting him to want to see you only two days since you two were last together. In your head, Frank is so calm and collected and you’re practically certain that this… thing you two have going on isn’t as big of a deal to him as it is to you. Still, you try not to question too much why he actually seems to enjoy having you around. Instead, you decide to just take the good as it comes.

“I am, I can do tonight. But I’m not sure I have something to wear. Is it like a club? Should I dress up or is it more jeans and—?” You don’t even realize when your voice picks up in speed and the questions fly out faster than you intend for them to, but Frank is quick to center you out of the beginning of your spiral.

“Just wear somethin’ cute, alright? I’ve seen some of your outfits, sweetheart, you’ll be fine.” You bite the inside of your cheek at his comment and inhale deeply before sighing. “I’ll pick you up at six, okay?” You hum an agreement as he confirms the time and say a goodbye before hanging up.

As you pull the phone away from your ear, you see an incoming text from your best friend drop down from the top of the screen.

“I’m two minutes away! I can’t wait to hear everything.”

That night when you got home from the bonfire, she had sent many texts in hopes of finding out the reasoning behind the newfound closeness between you and Frank. In your exhausted and slightly inebriated state, you told her that you would have her over Saturday morning to explain it all to her. You were much too tired to string the words together and you also know how she can tend to put her own emotions onto words; the last thing you needed was for her to hear the little arrangement you and Frank have and blow it out of proportion.

You set the table as you wait for her, making sure to leave a mug beside her plate for her tea that tends to be the staple of her breakfast. By the time the food is divvied up for each of you, there’s an impatient knock at the door. You shake your head with a smile as you open the door and she’s pushing past you as the questions immediately begin to roll off her tongue.

After guiding her to the small dining table in the kitchen, you watch her sit down and her eyes never stray from you. Her voice continues to fill the air as she talks over herself; there’s no distinct end to one sentence and the beginning of the next. By the time you’re sitting beside her and about to dig into your meal she finally covers her mouth, stopping all the enthusiastic queries she desperately wants to know.

“I’m gonna let you talk,” she mumbles behind her palms. You laugh at her attempts to force herself to be quiet and pick up a forkful of your food.

“I promise you it’s not as exciting as you think it is,” you warn her before popping the food in your mouth.

You start at the beginning—trying to skim over the details of your not-so-controlled crush on Frank as well as the more heated parts of the things you two have done together. Excited gasps fill the space surrounding the dining table and you watch as her eyes go wide when you mention it was his idea. Her mouth gets the better of her though and she begins to ask more questions while you speak. You make sure to answer all of them in time, save for a few chuckles here and there, before finishing your last bite.

“I actually have a question for you now,” you start again, watching as confusion washes over her features. “Frank called me this morning and he wants to take me out to this bar he likes. I just don’t know what to wear and I was hoping… you could help me?” You hesitantly look up to face her and you’re met with a beaming grin.

“Is this a date?! Is this the first one? Are you going back to his place after?” You shake your head once again as the sudden influx of questions fill the air.

“No, it’s not a date. I mean… I don’t think it is?” you let your thought process be shown aloud and watch as her giddy expression comes back to the surface. “It’s not! We’re just friends and he’s doing me a favor. I’m sure of it.” You decide then and there that you can’t afford to hold out hope and expect more than what he’s given you—which is already so much.

She raises her eyebrows up from behind the rim of her mug and you scoff at her knowing look. You brush your hand through your hair and try your hardest to not let your anxiety creep in about the idea of being on a proper date with Frank Castle.

And so together the two of you spend the afternoon diving through your closet together for something that could fit. It felt similar to a movie montage where the teenage girls toss different colorful fabrics through the air. With a growing pile on the floor of your bedroom, she gasps once you stand in the completed outfit.

“That’s the one!” she says excitedly before tugging you towards the bathroom. “Time for makeup!” She eagerly pats for you to sit on the counter while searching through your, admittedly limited, makeup bag. Doing the best with what she’s got, she gets to work on the eyeshadows and blush, finishing up with a curl of your eyelashes and combing mascara through them. You always loved how focused she got when it was time for something special; her tongue pokes past her lips as she concentrates, her eyes squinting to get the very last detail to sit right.

Once she’s satisfied, she spins you around to see yourself in the mirror and you’re actually surprised at how nice it all came together. You’re wearing an oversized, comfy jumper, tights that line your legs, and a black skirt that accentuates your frame. It’s not too fancy, but the black tights make your outfit more sleek and you silently hope that Frank will like it. As you fluff your hair up to give it some more volume, you thank her behind a wide smile.

A buzz of excitement rushes through you as you wait by the front door and hear the heavy revving from the engine of Frank’s van. You physically shake your arms in an attempt to let go of some of the nerves that built up and your friend gives you a quick hug.

“You got it, baby!” she encourages sweetly. “Have fun!” she calls out as you slip past the door. Making your way down your porch steps, you hear her shout something else from behind you. “Don’t do anything stupid!”

You chuckle at her warnings and make your way to the big, black van. You open the door and find Frank sitting with his elbow on his armrest and his head in his palm as he turns to face you. You stand there for a moment and await his initial reaction to your outfit. His eyes widen slightly before they rake over your boy, his lips parting as he takes it all in.

He brushes his thumb along the defined line of his jaw before sinking his teeth into his lower lip. His eyes settle on the small slit of the skirt that rests high on your thigh. There’s a pause for a moment before he finally speaks up.

“Told you you’d find somethin’ cute.” He fixes his posture and gives you a smile as you roll your eyes and sit in the passenger seat. Being with him felt easy now—of course there’s still the butterflies, which you’re expecting to make a permanent home in your stomach any day now, but it’s mostly when you’re about to see him. When you’re actually in his presence, it all fades away and you love how comfortable he makes you feel.

If you had told yourself a few weeks ago that you’d be on a half hour car ride with Frank Castle to the outskirts of town, she probably would’ve brushed it off as some sick joke. But here you are, sitting beside him and watching as he flips through radio stations until he settles on a classic rock song. You enjoyed getting to discover little pieces of him the more time you spent with him.

As he drives under the lamp posts longing the winding roads, you watch as the passing lights illuminate his face before it’s cloaked in shadows of the night once again. Each time you move underneath them, light showcases his features in a warm glow for mere moments at a time. You think your new favorite thing might be when the gleam seeps into the small dip in the bridge of his nose. That small highlight makes you smile and he catches it as he turns to look at you once you’re stopped at a red light.

“What is it?” he questions, his eyes squinting slightly as he looks at you. With a shake of your head, you face back to the light strung up in the air. His gaze doesn’t leave the side of your face though, and you know he’ll want an answer.

“This is just nice,” you shrug your shoulders. “Thank you for thinking of me,” you add. You want to make sure he knew how happy you were to be doing this, despite your quiet nature due to your fear of somehow screwing this up with your words.

“Haven’t even done anything,” he laughs softly.

“Well, I’m still enjoying myself,” you reply in a gentle tone. Frank doesn’t say anything more as he continues to look at you. The light changes and a green glow washes over your face, queuing him to face the open road once again. You glance down as his hand moves to the gear shift, trying not to focus too long on how the veins in his hand are accentuated as he curls his fingers around the knob.

Frank speaks up again after a moment and you quickly recenter your attention. He engages you in some light conversation and pretty soon you’re laughing along to his comedic storytelling. You don’t even realize you’ve arrived until he’s put the car in park and turns the key off in the ignition. Looking out from behind the glass in front of you, you see the neon lights surrounding the big, bold letters of the name of the bar. It shines brightly in the night sky and acts as a small beacon in the dark parking lot.

You look up at the sound of the driver side door closing and realize Frank has left the car. You reach for your bag that’s resting on the floor between your feet and by the time you move for the handle, he’s opening your door for you. It’s the first time you’re able to truly take him in. He’s wearing a pair of nicely fitting blue jeans and a grey jacket, complete with the black boots you’ve never seen him without. You can’t tell what he’s wearing under the thick material that conceals his chest though, and you find yourself hoping it’s something tighter and hugs his torso.

“You ready?” he asks, and you nod in response. “Alright, watch your step,” he warns and you feel his hand bracing your upper arm as you hop out from the slightly lifted van. Once you’re secure on the ground, the two of you begin making your way towards the entrance. As you pass by the cars parked in organized rows under dim lamplights, you begin to make out the few scattered people smoking and even spot a couple sharing a cigarette just outside the main doors.

Once inside the building, he shrugs off the jacket and you can finally piece together his outfit. Frank’s broad shoulders stretch the fabric of the dark blue button up shirt. It’s tucked into his denim pants and secured with a black belt. He fits the attire of everyone else here in the bar, but still stands over a head taller than the rest—not to mention infinitely more attractive. You try desperately to rip your eyes away from him, and in doing so, take in the scenery of the pub.

The bar is crowded but not so occupied that you can’t move. The loud, overlapping voices meld to create a soft droning that accompanies the background. It doesn’t stand a chance to the band though, whose loud amplifiers cause a shake in your chest with each note they strum. Polished wood lines the walls and there’s photographs of smiling people decorating them, forever cherished behind glass frames. It feels oddly homey, admittedly impressive for a place you’ve never stepped foot into before tonight.

You accidentally bump into Frank and he steadies you with his large hands on your waist. He’s staring down at you with a subtle smile on his face. He begins to talk but you don’t have the slightest clue what he’s saying; the song that’s playing is far too loud to hear the lower tone of his voice. Shaking your head with a frown, you let him know you can’t understand him and his smile grows wider. He then leans down, his fingers brushing your hair away from your ear before he speaks.

“Asked if you wanted to eat,” he starts, his breath immediately warming the side of your neck. With just those few words, it feels like all the other noise falls away. All you can focus on is the rumble in his voice and how the words feel as if they dance down your spine. “I’m starving,” he adds, and you’re certain your new headspace gave his words a different context than he intended.

He pulls away for your response and all you can muster up is a slow blink and a delayed nod. There’s no cocky smirk at your expression and you wonder if maybe he decided to spare you the embarrassment this time. He promptly turns and you fall in line beside him, letting him guide you around the crowd. His palm finds its way to your lower back as he leads you and just like that, your heart picks up in pace once more.

You’ve only seen the same small movement depicted in movies and you can now safely say that experiencing it is so much more exhilarating. Part of you is frustrated that such an insignificant touch can make you this excited, but Frank’s charm has a tremendous effect on you. Still, you tell yourself it’s the anticipation of his hand being elsewhere on your body that riles you up.

His hand stays put until the two of you reach a booth lining the back wall. There’s a small lamp that bathes the whole table in a warm glow and you and Frank place your things down before sliding into the long seats. As you stare at him from across the table, you watch as his eyes scan the crowd and then the main stage as he focuses on the band. They’re currently playing a cover of a classic rock song and Frank smiles as he nods his head to the music.

“This place is nice,” you raise your voice slightly to be heard over the music. He turns to face you and his smile grows wider.

“Yeah? You like it?” His question is accompanied by your own nod and he continues. “I’m sure there’s fancier ones close to town, but I’ve been coming here for years and they’ve always been good.”

He raises his hand in the air, tilting his head up and leaning to the side as if to catch someone’s attention. You follow his line of sight and look over your shoulder to see a woman with a black apron tied around her waist. She looks slightly past you as a grin covers her face and walks over to your table quicker than you expected.

“Frank?! What are you doing here?” Her voice is already grating and she’s only said a handful of words. Her tone is drawn out, almost flirtatiously, and she stands closer to him than you would’ve liked.

“Just showing her around,” he answers simply. He looks at you and when the waitress does the same, her face falls. You muster up an awkward smile and try to shake off the weird look she gives you. “She’s never been here before, you think we could get some menus?”

“Sure thing,” she mumbles, stepping away only to return a moment later with two long, laminated sheets of paper. She drops them to the table and you spare yourself the trouble of looking at her again.

“She sure seems to like you,” you speak up once she’s left. Frank scoffs before grabbing a menu and shaking his head. “Did you see the way she looked at me? What did I do?” You ask with a frown, wondering if you did something unintentionally.

“She’s probably just pissed cause you’re sitting with me and she’s not,” he answers with a sigh. He flips the paper around and you notice the way his eyes dart around the page. His answer wasn’t very reassuring though, and you still feel the tension in your body. As you scan the small print of the menu in your hands, you can feel his gaze on you. You try to shake the disappointment and to make it less obvious that what she said affected you, but you’re not certain how good of an actress you are.

“Y’know what?” he speaks up after a few seconds. You raise your face to him as he continues, “I know this place a couple of blocks down? Best god damn beer I’ve had.” His hand disappears under the table and a moment later you see his fingers curled around his jacket. “It’s German! You haven’t tried that one before.” He leans across the table before whispering, “You’re gonna hate it.”

His attempts at distracting you work well and you can’t help the laughter escaping you at the final thing he said. Frank’s own crooked smile returns at your reaction and a softness settles into his brown eyes.

“There she is,” he mumbles once he sees your regular self bubble back up to the surface. You bring in a deep breath and choose to shake off any residual awkwardness you felt from before.

“No, no it’s okay. We can stay here.” You finish your sentence and look back towards the music before facing him. His hands are empty now as he continues to stare at you and you feel confident in your choice to stay.

After looking over the endless list of drinks, burgers, and other appetizers, you read a description of a sandwich that makes your stomach rumble to life. You immediately decide on it without a second thought and smile up at Frank, watching him run his finger across the page between two options and looking quite indecisive.

Before long, the ill behaved waitress is back to take down your order. You pick your sandwich, remembering to take off the toppings you aren’t too fond of, add in an order of fries, and your usual favorite drink to top it off. With a hesitant glance up, you see her scribbling down your order on the small notepad in her hand. Her expression is twisted up as if she smelled something foul and you feel that uneasy feeling settling in once more.

“I’ll have the same as my date here,” Frank answers before she can ask about his meal. He gently taps the two menus on the tabletop before handing them over to her. His lips part as his eyes drag over your features and you notice the way they stop for a little longer than they should when they reach your mouth.

To say you were shocked was an understatement. You weren’t sure if he said it just to get under her skin or not but part of you didn’t really care. He said it regardless and that made a smile carve its way onto your face. An annoyed scoff is heard from above and you see a hand come into view to snatch the menus away from Frank. He never looked away from you once.

The moment the food arrives, you’re excitedly grabbing your sandwich and lifting it to your mouth. As your teeth sink into the toasted bread, the flavor hits your tongue and a satisfied moan escapes you. Frank is quick to lift his eyes at the sound, his eyebrows raising as he takes in the scene in front of him. You raise your hand to your mouth and begin to grow bashful at the look on his face.

“Sorry!” You apologize, your voice muffled behind your palm. “It was just really good,” you explain once you swallow your food down.

“Don’t gotta apologize for that, kid,” he replies through his own raspy chuckle. You bite your lip and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before reaching for the fries in your basket next.

The two of you dig into your identical meals and make some easy conversation in between bites here and there. You’re honestly impressed with how good the sandwich is and you’re glad you picked it out of the infinite number of items on the menu. Frank wasn’t lying when he said he loved this place. You watch him look up from his meal every now and then with a big smile on his face as he moves his head to the beat of the music. His energy was infectious and you found yourself tapping your toes along too. 

“Y’know,” he speaks up after finishing the last bite of his sandwich. At the sound of his voice, you begin to look up to his face, but your eyes latch on to something else. Frank sucks his fingers clean of the salt from his fries, his lips pursing as his cheeks hollow, and you immediately lose any grip you had on controlling your thoughts around him.

“When we ordered I saw your beer on the menu.” You hear his words but they have absolutely no meaning, no way of stringing them together to make a continuous thought as you watch him suck the seasonings from his thumb. You begin to feel a sense of injustice at the fact that those fingers weren’t where you desperately wanted them to be. With a pout, you look back to his gaze and see the confusion clear in his eyes.

“What?” you blurt out, finally remembering he had spoken and that you hadn’t processed anything he had said. He scoffs before shaking his head, his smirk spreading wide across his face before he speaks again.

“Said they have the beer you like here,” he repeats himself, his cocky grin a clear indicator that he saw how you froze up at sight just moments ago.

“I’m actually good tonight,” you say confidently. Reaching for your glass, you take a sip of your drink and hold his gaze as you stare at him from under your eyelashes. He sits back against the cushion of the booth and his eyebrows pull together as he thinks about what you said.

“Yeah?” he asks, squinting his eyes at you.

“Mhm, not letting a few beers stop me from what I wanna do after this,” you explain. You’ve never felt more frustrated than when he stopped you from kissing on his neck. You understood why he did it, and are actually very thankful he didn’t want it to go further, but the disappointment coursed through you all the same.

“Hmm? And what exactly is that?” he questions as the band finishes up the song they had been playing. Your eyes follow the noise as the crowd erupts into whistles and claps, applauding the musicians. When you finally look back over, Frank’s in the same position. It’s like he never looked away from you—hell, you’re not sure if he even blinked.

You don’t answer him though and make up your mind to keep him on the edge of his seat. Instead, you smile sweetly before picking up a fry from your basket and popping it past your lips. 

He gives you a knowing look, but doesn’t pry. Perhaps he was looking forward to the surprise of it all. You only hope you can remain as confident as you feel now so you can properly act out your plan. Before long, he swallows down his last french fry and Frank speaks up with a question.

“You wanna go dance?” Your whole body freezes at the mere thought of attempting to dance, not to mention the added nerves of doing it in a crowded room with Frank Castle standing witness. But as you look out onto the dance floor full of moving bodies, you realize most of them are probably far too intoxicated to really pay attention to you. Deciding to push past the initial fear, and wanting to be fully present with him and have fun, you nod and scoot out of the booth.

Frank stands in front of you and his hand soon comes into view of your eyeline. You place your hand in his and feel his fingers curl around your palm as you brace your weight on him and rise to your feet. You stand on your toes and motion for him to come closer so you can speak into his ear.

“Just so you know, I’m a terrible dancer,” you say after he’s tilted his head towards you.

“What part of me screams that I’m a good one?” he asks, and you chuckle at his joke. He smiles down at your laughter and nods his head behind him, letting you know he’s going to the dancefloor.

Frank keeps a hold of your hand as he leads you through the crowd. His broad body splits the sea of bodies as he walks and you follow close enough behind him to squeeze past them as well. There’s blue hues from the dim lights that shine over the people, but other than that you can’t see much beside their moving feet. He must’ve gotten to a clearing where there’s not as many people bumping into one another, because he stops walking and turns to you.

You’re sort of frozen still for a moment as the reality of it is beginning to creep in. But then Frank starts to shimmy his shoulders and you can’t help but break into a wide grin. Just like that, you’re thawed. The awkwardness you felt is starting to leave you as you begin to loosen up in front of him.

The band plays a fun, upbeat song that you don’t recognize, but he seems to be making the moves up as he goes along. You follow his direction, copying him but still keep some distance, trying to slowly shake off those nerves that are still lingering around. Suddenly, Frank does a move that you can’t even begin to describe with words alone and you burst into laughter as you watch him. Holding your stomach, you shake your head at him and he begins to laugh too. 

The band then retires from the stage, saying their farewells as the crowd applauds and whistles. Frank claps along with the rest of them and you cup your hands around your mouth to give a small cheer. You really enjoyed their set and wouldn’t mind coming back here again to watch them play once more.

Once the stage is clear, music begins to play over the speakers and Frank’s face lights up. His excitement is clear after just the first few notes.

“God, this takes me back,” his wide grin causes his eyes to squint up. You smile up at him, happy at his enjoyment, but you can’t help your head from tilting to the side confusedly.

“You haven’t heard this before?” he asks incredulously and you shake your head. “It’s literally my favorite song, how do you not know this?”

“When did it come out?” you ask, and watch him look up as he starts to think.

“Must’ve been… right after graduation, I think?” He does the math for a moment longer before answering with the year it was released. The answer has you fighting back a giggle as you stare at him awkwardly.

“Frank, I wasn’t born until two years later,” you answer honestly, and the look on his face is priceless.

“Jesus Christ…” he replies, dragging his hand down his face. You begin to worry now, wondering if you shouldn’t have brought up that point. He must’ve caught a glance at your anxious frown because he’s quick to explain himself.

“You’re fine just… my back hurt when you said that.” His hand comes to the back of his neck to emphasize his point and your smile finds its way back to your lips.

Despite the initial embarrassment you ran into after being reminded again of the gap in age between you and Frank, you found yourself really enjoying the song. He was honest when he said it was one of his favorites. You’ve never seen him this lively before and you love being able to soak up every minute of it. He’s so animated as he dances, holding you close to him with his hand secured at your back. The lines to the song fall past his lips like muscle memory as his forehead presses to yours.

You can’t stand being this close to him. Your whole body feels like it’s been shot with a current of electricity and you’re desperately wanting him to stop singing and put his mouth to yours. He might have a sixth sense—or simply just picked up on the timing—because his lips are on yours a second later. He kisses you deeply, his tongue brushing your lower lip for a moment before you eagerly let him in. Your head tilts to the side as you kiss him back and your arm wraps around his wide shoulders to ensure you’ll have your fill.

All too soon he’s breaking the kiss and you immediately suck your bottom lip behind your teeth to savor the feeling of him. He suddenly lifts his arm into the air and cues you to spin. You twirl under his hand with a huge grin and then he yanks you in for the finish, timing it so that your back is to his chest when you land against him. His same palm immediately finds your hip and tightens to keep you flush to him. His opposite hand travels down the length of your torso, his index finger tracing your side as he moves.

He begins to whisper the lyrics against your ear and you can’t bring yourself to focus on their meaning. He’s all over you and it’s making you feel dizzy, as if you’re drunk on his scent alone. Each pass of his finger along your ribs alights a fire at your side and you try to keep up as he begins rocking you from side to side to the rhythm of the song. His breath warms the entire side of your face and neck with each word he whispers. You fall under his spell and roll your head to the side at the feeling of his warmth all over.

When the song starts to fade and a new one begins overlapping it, you’re left with a bittersweet feeling; part of you never wanted to leave that moment and would gladly listen to that song on loop for the rest of your life, but the other half of you was almost frightened at how easily you turned to putty in his hands. You felt the need to have a better grasp on yourself, especially if you wanted to stay courageous for what you had planned for tonight.

The mix of two songs smoothen down into one and you instantly recognize the slow, sexy bassline that’s pumping through the speakers overhead. You’re not sure what came over you. Perhaps you wanted to prove to someone that you’re not that same timid, little girl. Whatever it was that coursed through your veins, you’re thankful that it gave you the strength to grab his large palm and put it back into place at your hip. You use the extra support to push your ass back into him, making sure to press hard enough until you feel the bulge in his jeans.

Frank doesn’t show any reaction except for his fingers tightening into your skin as if you were a lifeline. You smile as you continue to grind into him, your hips following the similar movements he taught you just a few days prior. Facing away from him gives you the extra boost of confidence needed to perform this act, but you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t kill to see the look on his face right now.

With each push of your ass against the denim fabric, you feel the heat of his bulge so close to where your own warmth had started to pool. This felt good and you felt pride surging through your chest once you realized exactly what you were doing.

And then his arm crosses your chest and pulls you flat against him once more. His forearm is pressed against your collarbones and you feel your breath hitch at the hold he has you in. With a shaky inhale, you swallow down the lump in your throat and wait for him to speak.

“Look at you, sweetheart,” the tip of his nose brushes the curve of your ear and you try your damndest to not let your body double over. “Someone’s getting confident, huh?” His arm begins to slowly drop from across your chest, and instead reaches your lower stomach. From there, he applies pressure until you’re as close as you could be to him.

“You feel that? Hmm?” There’s an undeniable hardness under the thick layers of fabric. It doesn't feel as big as the last time he got turned on from you, but it’s still noticeable. “That’s all you,” he finishes with a lower tone of voice before taking half a step back and leaving you to sit with his words.

It takes you a moment to wrap your head around this entire situation. It’s abundantly clear that the mood has changed from light laughter and awful dance moves to something more sultry. You can feel the warmth slowly spreading between your legs and it leaves you with a buzz that makes you feel like your movements are slowed. When you turn around to finally face him, he’s already staring down at you expectedly.

“Why don’t we get outta here?” he asks, deep voice blending in with the booming bass. You nod at him and it feels like you’re moving in molasses. The dull, blue light from above catches his face for a moment. There’s something deeper to his unreadable expression; his jaw is clenched as if he’s trying to hold something back.

Once the two of you make it back to the table, Frank reaches into his back pocket for his wallet. He thumbs through the notes before tossing a few bills onto the table. He reaches into the booth seat for his jacket and shakes it out before draping it over your shoulders.

“Thank you,” you mumble in a quiet voice.

“Don’t gotta thank me for that, sweetheart,” he shakes his head, insisting that your gratitude isn’t needed. He begins to walk towards the door with his hand in its designated spot at your lower back to help guide you once again. The chill of the night air hits you the second you step out of the building and you find yourself curling his jacket snugger around your body. His scent is stuck to the collar and it helps lessen your shivering from the cold breeze.

He walks you to your side of the van and opens the door for you to climb in. Even after he gets in and begins driving down the same winding roads, there’s not much conversation between the two of you. The tension in the car is thick and incredibly palpable. You’re indecisive about whether to break the silence or leave it untouched so as to not make it worse.

Eventually Frank pulls into his parking spot that faces the front door of his apartment. After putting the van in park and walking around to open your door once more, you take his hand and carefully step down. He unlocks the door and gets you inside quickly, trying to shield you from the chilly air. Once he flicks the lights on, you’re greeted by the familiar sight of his living room and feel that desire to touch him creep back in. Your name falls from his lips and you turn your head at the sound.

“I’m sorry if I went too far back there. I shouldn’t have—,” he begins to apologize, but you’re quick to interrupt by pressing your lips to his. A surprised grunt comes from him and you smirk into the kiss, pleased to have caught him off guard. He wastes no time in wrapping his arms around you and begins leading you towards the couch. When you feel the back of your knees hit the curve of the cushion, you angle yourself in front of Frank and push him into the sofa below.

He looks up at you with his lips parted and his chest is noticeably bringing in deeper breaths each time he inhales. His usually soft, brown eyes have a darkened glint to them and you’re certain you’ve never seen this emotion on him before. Your pulse is racing through your own body and you swiftly straddle him with your knees on either side of his hips.

His impatient fingers grab hold of you in a way no one ever has before. The action causes a surprised gasp to fall past your lips, but it’s swallowed down by Frank who can’t seem to keep his mouth off of yours. The light stubble decorating his jaw scratches at your skin and the rough feeling does nothing but spur you on further. You begin to roll your hips into his as you fall into a familiar pattern and he uses his hold to help guide you into moving faster.

His movements are rushed and needy and it makes you feel reassured that he wants this—he wants you. That little boost to your ego has your hands tracing down his body, your palms rubbing down his strong chest, before finally reaching his belt. Your fingers search blindly for the leather and the sound of the buckle clinking sounds out in between the wet noises of your kisses.

“Woah, easy,” Frank breaks the kiss the second the sound reaches his ears. “Let’s just, uh…” he trails off and you feel his fingers gently prying yours away. “Let’s take it slow, alright?” His tone is so soft and the concern is written clearly across his features.

“Frank, please,” you try to reason with him. “I didn’t even drink tonight! And I just… last time I was all worked up and I really want to do this.” You finish with a pout as you glance up at him with pleading eyes. He swallows hard as he stares at you for a moment, probably battling something internally.

“What do you wanna do?” he asks slowly, trying to make his words clear. The question is so simple but admitting it to him makes you feel small again.

“I… I want to touch you,” you mumble, silently hoping he doesn’t ask you to be more explicit than that.

“You sure you want this?” His eyes never leave yours as he confirms your consent.

“I really do,” you reply, bringing your hand up and cupping his cheek. You brush your thumb over his skin and watch as he begins to shut his eyes and breathe deeply. “Please?”

You’re not sure if it’s the quiet plea, his own craving that’s swaying his decision, or some combination of the two, but he slowly uncurls his fingers from your wrist. You beam brightly at him and whisper a thanks as you peck him on the cheek.

“You’re still gonna have to walk me through it, Frank,” you say through a small chuckle.

He nods with an equally quiet, “I know.”

From there, he doesn’t try to deter your movements any longer. He lets you continue as you slide his belt past the metal buckle. You look up at him for reassurance and he nods his head with a smile. He takes your hand in his and pulls it to his bulge, letting you feel it properly for the first time. Excitement races through you and settles in your lower stomach as you watch your hand touch him over the denim.

“Can I take your jeans off?” Your question is met with another nod as he lets go of you. Slipping the button past the slit, you then lower the zipper past the teeth and the sound feels so loud in the otherwise silent room. You move to sit beside him and Frank helps you tug his pants down, raising his hips to lower them some more until they fall past his knees. He’s wearing a pair of dark grey boxer briefs and your eyes linger far too long on how they hug his thighs.

The thick outline stretching the fabric is enough to recenter your attention though. You start to feel the nerves coming back once you register just how big he is as he lies against his hip. You always had a feeling, given the sheer size of the man, but seeing it is a whole other experience. Thankfully, Frank doesn’t rush you as he lets you take this all in. You hesitantly move your hand over the length of him, brushing your fingers over the defined line underneath the head of his cock.

The next thing you reach for is the waistband of his boxers. You curl your fingers over the edge and tug them down, watching as more and more of his happy trail becomes exposed. He once again helps you pull them past his legs and now that he’s bare in front of you, you can’t help your eyes from widening. You had thought the bulge was big, but it was misleading; Frank is actually much larger than you had anticipated.

“What? You’ve never seen—?” He starts but you’re quick to cut him off.

“I have. I’ve seen, like, porn before but…” you find your voice leaving you as you stare between his legs. “It’s just bigger in person.” His chuckle sounds out and you raise your head to the noise only to be met by an amused smirk at your confession.

“S’not just cause it’s in person, kid,” he laughs through his words and you roll your eyes at his cockiness. You like that you can still crack jokes during a time like this and you find yourself thankful that you get to have Frank as your first introduction to sex. Feeling more relaxed, you reach forward and gently curl your fingers around his thick base.

“You can hold it tighter than that,” he speaks up after a second.

“I know,” you respond, tightening your hold on him a little more. He snorts lightly at the, apparently, subtle increase in pressure and you feel his larger hand curling around your own. His long fingers squeeze over yours, adjusting your grip on his length as he begins to move your hand up and down. He’s warm and heavy in your hand, two things you hadn’t given much thought of before now. Frank lifts your hand once more and a satisfied sigh leaves him.

The sound stirs something in your stomach and you try to swallow down your own growing arousal at the noise he’s making. He loosens his hold on you and you watch as his hands find the hem of his shirt before bunching it up and exposing the lower half of his stomach. There’s so much to look at and it’s pulling your attention in too many ways. You try to focus on him in your hand though and begin speeding up your movements.

“You can spit on it,” he speaks up after a few seconds. You turn to face him and feel your eyebrows pull together at his words.

“Like just… spit on it?” The confusion is more than likely obvious in your tone but you want to ensure that you don’t embarrass yourself with him. Not now when you’ve made it this far.

“Yeah, go for it,” he encourages gently. With one last glance at him, you lean forward and lower your head over his length. You purse your lips and part them as you let the split slowly drip until it’s sliding over his head. You watch as it runs down past the tip and Frank clears his throat.

“Shit, yeah that…” he trails off as he raises his hips slightly. “That works too.” You smile at his words and wonder if his movement was an instinctual reaction to the warmth running along the smooth skin of his cock.

With the help of the extra slick added to his length, you begin to work your hand faster on him. You know from what you’ve heard that the tip is more sensitive, so you raise your hand right underneath his head and tighten your grip. A grunt immediately falls from him and you impulsively let go of him. You face him with a worried expression and watch as he brings in a deep breath before swallowing thickly.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Just felt real damn good.” The praise in his words immediately rushes to your heart and you feel yourself swell with pride. You can’t believe you made him feel that good, but now you’re determined to see what other sounds you can pull from his pretty lips. As you focus your attention back to his cock, you see a few beads of precum beginning to bubble up at his swollen tip. You rub your thumb in circles over the slit, spreading around the proof of his pleasure, and you feel him twitch in your hold.

“Shiiiiiit,” the drawn out curse sounds raspy and you don’t stop your movements as you check once again to see his reaction. Frank’s head is tilted back slightly against the couch cushion, his mouth is parted, and his eyes are scrunched up slightly. You try your hardest to memorize this version of him. You wish you could ingrain this memory so you’ll never forget how good he looks when he’s succumbing to his pleasure.

Twisting your hand as you move it over his length, you notice the way his adam's apple bobs as he swallows down presumably another groan. You can’t resist the urge to feel even more of him, and press your lips against his neck. Lazy kisses are littered across his skin while you work your hand faster, intermittently tightening your hold on his thickness. His throat tightens as he feels the wet marks of your affection, and the next thing you feel is his fingers tangling in your hair. He pulls gently as he tugs your head up to his and he kisses down your surprised gasp, his tongue slipping into your mouth.

You’re having trouble keeping up with his movements and you realize this must be what it’s like to be kissed breathlessly. Any moment you get, you’re greedily gulping down air before he continues his ravenous attack on your lips. You never slow the speed of your hand and press yourself against his side, trying to feel more of him to satiate your need. Frank tries to break the kiss but you push against him harder, not wanting to let go for a second. But he tries again, grabbing your wrist gently and you immediately pull away with a frown.

“What did I do?” you ask in a worried tone. He’s quick to lock his eyes with yours and speaks clearly.

“You’re okay. You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” he starts, and then nods down towards his lap. “I’m almost there, kid. Just wanted to warn you before it happens.” And just like that, a wide grin splits across your face. I’m making him feel that good?!

“I really wanna make you come, Frank,” you tell him honestly and you notice his cock twitch slightly as he registers your words.

“You keep talking like that and you will,” he grumbles in a low voice. His tone almost seems as if it was meant as a warning, but all it does is add to the fire in the pit of your stomach. You’re quick to reach for him again and fall back into the rhythm you established just seconds ago. With each pass of your hand you feel the veins protruding slightly through his skin and make sure to add slightly more pressure to the ring underneath his tip—he seemed to like that in particular.

“Just like that—fuck, attagirl,” he breathes through gritted teeth while he stares down at your smaller fingers wrapped snugly around him. The praise courses through you and you hide your face in his neck. You place sloppy kisses under his jaw and listen as more grunts start to fall from his parted lips. They slowly twist into a new sound and it takes you a second to realize it’s your name that’s coming out in a twisted groan. You glance down and watch as he raises his hips for a moment to chase after the feeling of you, his orgasm following soon after.

One long moan falls from him as warmth spills over your hands. You make sure not to miss a single second and don’t dare slow down or pull away. You want Frank to feel as good as possible and so you’ll drag this out for as long as you can. White begins to coat his head and the rest of his length as you continue moving over him. It isn’t until he reaches for your wrist that you take notice of the way his thigh is tense and you let go to give him some relief.

“T…That’s enough,” he pants as he speaks through uneven breathing. You mumble an apology as you snuggle into his side again, leaving the remainder of your kisses on his collarbone. His hand rubs at your back while he regains his breath and you feel him press his lips to your forehead. 

“Jesus Christ,” he whispers, and you follow his gaze to the mess in his lap. His cock lies on his hip, all spent and giving a weak twitch once or twice. You don’t even try to hide the smile that grows on your face at the sight.

“Oh, you proud of yourself, huh?” he asks through a fit of chuckles. “You should be,” he holds you to his side again. “Did so fuckin’ good.” You feel another long kiss to the side of your head. Pride isn’t even a strong enough word to describe how you feel at this moment.

“Thank you, Frank,” you smile up at him.

“Thank me? Nah, you did all that,” he brushes it off just like last time. “Thank you for making me feel good, kid. You were absolutely perfect.” The warmth spreading to your cheeks makes you hide your face in his chest again. You weren’t really sure how a scene like this was supposed to normally end, but Frank doesn’t say anything more. He keeps you close in his arms and you can still hear his pulse attempting to slow in his chest. For now, you don’t want to question what comes next; for once, you’re comfortable exactly where you are.

Taglist: @chellestrash @avengerstower-houseplant @musicals-and-mermaids @castle-of-ruin @justalittlepickle @boo8008 @doublevirgogirl @xxdrixx @yaminax @nabiiturner @imwaytoolazyforthis @vechkinfan @himesuedi @0-goblin-0 @soleilcastle @innebulae @punishersmainchick @eddiemunsonsbelover @tea-drinking-nerd

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem! Reader/ .11 [Slight Nsfw]

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, ec project with Nickolas the transfer student, drunk sukuna shows up at the dorm(!?), a small makeout session, some sexual touching and mentions of grinding/humping at readers thighs, caring for this stressed out man-slut, ooc sukuna.

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 5.036k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n: hey guys! sorry for the delay ^^ i've been wanting to get some chapters drafted before posting them! ty sm for the patience i hope u enjoy and r ready for the upcoming drama between sukuna and y/n!

a/n 2: so so sooooo sorry for being three days later after saying i'd be posting right away!!>< I was with family and the wifi was being iffy the last few days. I couldn't access many of my socials and much less work on the final draft of the chapter!! i powered thro until i was satified and it's finally here! i hope you enjoy!!

chapter/idea cred to: @misslauravillanueva i needed to give credit for the help! i was struggling on what to do!><

. . .

Thank you for reading this! Enjoy!

“Achoo!”

“Ah, are you alright?” Geto’s cool tone echoed from the kitchen, his brow raised with a curious expression written on his face. “Coming down with something? I told you to relax from studying for a while–”

“It’s not that!” You huff, cheeks burning with embarrassment. ”I just sneezed. I don’t know why though..”

“Okay, relax. I’m not gonna get upset.”

With a pout, you leaned against the armrest of the couch. Bowl of mac and cheese with little hot dogs in hand and a Coke on the coffee table. Eyes returning back to the TV screen and watching the current crime show playing, listening to the crimes that the murderer committed as he was handed a death sentence. 

Sometimes, when I let my mind wander to Sukuna.. It feels like that.

The idea that he’s now stuck on your mind despite all the anger he had towards you. The almost strange obsession and addiction to the idea of him. While you’ve been repetitively trying to control these new emotions and thoughts, you couldn’t help it. Seeing Sukuna that day in Ec class all those days ago. Having to tutor him. Even dealing with his weird smirks and teasing.

..That kiss too..

“Your face is doing that thing again, Y/n,” Geto’s voice chirped out of nowhere, causing you to jolt in your spot. “So jumpy over a guy? You know therapy exists, right?”

Returning a rather poorly chosen burn, Geto stood from his spot on the couch and waved a hand at you. Grabbing his things and his shoes from the carpet near the door, he sent you another telling look.

“If you're this upset, just ask what's up. Seriously, seeing you get stressed over this is kinda.. sad.”

There was a stabbing pain in your chest. You knew.

“Good night to you too, Suguru,” You hum, leaning on your fist as the door closed with a click. Leaving you alone in the dormitory for a few moments.

Your thoughts clouding your headspace until you decided to go to bed. Unable to understand this dreadful lil thing people called love, unable to understand why Sukuna Ryomen had crawled his way into your heart just by being an ass.

Tomorrow is another day.. Right?

. . .

“Today we'll be picking partners for class projects!”

Eh?? Ehhhhh????

You blinked a few times at the announcement, looking down towards Toji as students began to groan and complain a little. Quickly these were silenced as Toji lifted a stack of papers and chuckled deeply in his husky voice.

“It's not my problem, just get them done. You have two weeks to do it, so get your partners. The class is uneven so be ready for one of y'all's groups to have an extra person. It's a self-pick topic type of thing so start discussing today or tomorrow your topic and go with it!”

Toji tapped the papers on his desk and sat, letting his tie loose as he started relaxing for the rest of the period.

“If you need suggestions for your topic, there's a list in here along with your presentation requirements. I expect all names and correct citations with these as well.”

You let out a small groan and rub your temple. Not only were you stressed, now you had to deal with this? Extra shifts at work couldn't save you from this type of annoyance. It's not that you hated group projects, it's just a small tick when half of them throw the work onto you.

Pros and cons. Pros– none. Cons– work was usually tossed onto you.

You stood from your desk and began making your way down the steps to grab a paper. A strange chill ran up your spine as you passed Sukuna’s. Sparing a glance over, your cheeks warmed almost immediately.

Some bits of hair were pinned back and a pen rested on an ear. His shirt had a few buttons undone with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Black pants tight enough to have made a bakery spawn on the seat he sat upon. He looked really handsome, daring to battle even Toji’s good looks, and it was getting to you. 

What hit the nail in the coffin is when he just so happened to catch you ogling with your tongue practically hanging out of your mouth. His eyes sharpened at your expression as a smirk curled at the corners of his lips.

An almost playful yet teasing smile you weren't used to seeing on his face caught you off guard. It made your face hot, and your shame grow a few beats in that moment.

“Stop creeping” was basically what his face was saying.

Letting out a strained cough, you covered your face and made your way back up to your desk. Positive that his eyes had followed you all the way up the stairs before you sat in your spot. Hiding behind the paper and some random book you grabbed from your bag.

You couldn't be more obvious, could you?

While fellow students started to shift in their seats and partner up with friends and just random buddies from in the room, Sukuna was swarmed with a small audience of girls as he stood from his seat to also fetch a paper. The guys that sat around him gave him annoyed side-eyes and snorts as he absorbed the attention from all the women in the room. 

“Sukuna, do you wanna partner with me?” One asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and letting the blush on her cheeks show.

“Me too, we could all do it together!” Another spoke up, poking her button nose into their conversation. Her bright green eyes staring up at Sukuna with a needy gleam.

It makes you confused to an extent, making you press your brows together as you look to the side. Sukuna probably thought that's what you looked like every time you saw him. It makes your heart ache and head throb, another grand headache to your already upsetting day.

Just let your mind be normal for once in your life.

You begin to gather your things and part from the room, the hustle and bustle of the classroom quietly fading into the background. Letting out a relaxed sigh as the sight of your bed creeped into the corners of your mind– oh, how you wished to be relaxing in bed with your favorite stuffy.

“Hello, miss? Would you like to be my partner for the project?” A voice suddenly called from behind you, somewhat echoing throughout the quiet hallways. It startled you since you didn’t expect anyone to follow you out of the classroom asking such a thing, it piqued your interest.

Lifting your head, you come face to face with someone you didn’t know.

His dark hair was up in a bun with his undercut showing behind his pierced ears, a kind smile flashing behind yet another piercing on his lip. Tanned skin that seemed to glow like it was pampered with the best beauty products around, not a scar or pimple in sight. Cute dimples at the corners of his lips adding to his boyish charm while his honey eyes gleamed at you. It reminded you of Yuji in a sense, but this was not Yuji.

You’ve never seen this guy before– a really cute one at that.

“Hello,” you say, momentarily stunned at the stranger, letting your hand weakly wave. “Uhm, partner?”

There was an adorable chuckle that furthered your stunned silence before you heard a response. “Yes, I saw you walk out here alone and thought you might need one.”

You take in a deep breath, regaining your composure quickly and patting yourself down. “Ah, right. I actually don’t like having a partner, my past experiences have led me to conclude that they’re not the best option for a project. Besides, I’m a big girl, I can handle one on my own.”

“I can see why,” He starts, looking back at the classroom with the still clamoring students before returning his attention to you. “That horde in there was after one guy, they don’t care about this project. I was actually about to do the same as you when I saw my choices were so low.”

Rubbing a big calloused hand over his nape, the strangers’ almond eyes looked from the empty halls and to you, his smile sheepish. “Please? Don’t make me beg now.”

There was a small silence between you and the stranger as you considered walking off and letting him go with his original plan before the Economics class erupted with whines as Sukuna and a girl walked from inside. The color left your cheeks, seeing the girl’s arm wrapped tightly around Sukuna’s. Looking as if he was protecting her from the growing crowd of the class, engaging in an active conversation as they walked on by.

Your heart sank sharply, seeing Sukuna letting someone else into his circle. He used to be so cold, so annoyed with people when he was younger. Only letting you really hold him that close, giving you nuzzles of appreciation since he didn’t like to say it aloud.

Now, he gives you the cold shoulder and holds others that aren’t you close.

Without letting your head finish its last thought and your eyes still trained on the back of Sukuna’s head, you gave a nod and looked back at the stranger. “Sure. I’m Y/n L/n, by the way.”

“Really? That’s great!” He smiled, the warmth of his company lightening your mood sufficiently more than it was a few moments ago. “My name’s Nickolas Alveres, it’s nice to meet you, L/n.”

The both of you share a smile for a second before Nickolas nods down the hall, motioning for the both of you to head to your next classes. He doesn’t wait for you to join him, but you do anyway. Trying to make small talk with him as you try to get to know your partner, letting the smile on your lips stick.

While you wore a smile, someone else had a frown. A deep scowl, if you will. You didn’t feel it, but Sukuna’s partner saw it.

She raised a brow, cheeks tinted a slight color as she cast her gaze in the same direction. Seeing you close to another man, only escalating the befuddlement.

“What’s wrong, Sukuna?”

A disgruntled look was plastered all over said man’s face, his frown so prominent it was a waste of time to even attempt to hide it. A chasm of wrinkles forming on his forehead as his brows pressed together at the sight before him. Watching the way you and some kid walked side by side with a smile on your face, not a care in the world.

When did you get so chummy?

“It’s nothing.. Let’s go, Haru,” He said, not sparing a second to look back at you. With a huff, he pulled his work partner, Haru, with him to the nearby library to find a good subject for this project.

It’s what he wanted anyways.. right?

. . .

“Wait, wait.. He punched Gojo in the face?!” Nickolas laughed, holding his cup up to his lips quickly to cover his giggles and chuckles. His nose crinkled up as they continued despite his obvious resistance. “He must’ve been drunk too to get so defensive!! I thought he was just a jerk most of the time.”

“Usually he is,” You start, crossing your legs under the coffee table. Looking over some of the notebooks the both of you had sprawled out onto the wood to look for any good topics to talk about in the presentation. Quickly, you scribbled out one, taking a sip from your cup and looking back up to Nickolas. “Recently though, he’s been alright. Not as mean as he used to be, but not one-hundred percent rude and annoying.”

A calm silence filled the air as Nickolas rested his work in his lap, taking a moment to look from them to you. “Speaking of, how long have you known this guy? You talk about him like he’s an old friend.”

The corner of your lips twitch upwards for a short second before you let your face relax. “He was. Not really interested in joining forces again recently.”

Nickolas nodded his head in understanding, eyes glazing over somewhat on what response to give. Seeing that the idea of this guy somehow hurt you, it got him concerned. Why bother letting him get to you so deeply if this is the result? It doesn’t make sense.

“Don’t let it get to you too much, Y/n,” He mustered after a short silence, placing his cup on the coffee table and letting his ring tap against the plastic. “If he’s still letting you be this close, even helping you care for a friend, that’s gotta be something.”

You nod numbly, knowing the obvious has been said too many times. Talk to him, ask him how he’s doing about the relationship, what does he want from you? The same three things that you always wanted to say when you were with him, but how. Other than tutoring, other than being near each other in class, you and Sukuna spent little to no time together.

All you remember about him is that he was the tough kid in school with home problems that liked to play tag and hide and seek. That he scared you with bugs and frogs while at the lake or near the Willow tree. The fond memories you shared with him couldn’t be the only factor that you had to use to judge what you wanted, you had to be around him more.

How was going to be the hardest puzzle to solve.

“Oh well,” Nickolas yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “It’s about time i get headed to my dorm. I have an early class tomorrow. I’ll leave you my number so that we can plan meetings for the project!”

Jokes and laughter filled the room as you and your partner exchanged information when there was a loud commotion at the door. You glanced from Nickolas to the dorm door and let out a light hearted chuckle, waving your hands next to your head.

“Ah, I’ll go get that! Gather your things, okay?”

Nickolas nodded and turned to his open binder and mess of notebook paper splayed on the coffee table, humming to himself as you rushed over to the front door. Hair stood at attention when you opened that door, seeing a messed up man laying on the hallway floor. A big wine bottle squeezed tightly in his right hand, the other placed next to his head on the floor.

His voice came out in gentle hums of some random rock song, lyrics jumping out from his mouth every second or so in a drunken daze. His fluffy hair was messy and almost unrecognizable until you realized who it was.

It was Sukuna.

“Wh.. What are you doing here?” You shout, shocked at his arrival, but there was not really a response. Only his hand raising to wave his finger around to the hum of his song. “Sukuna, answer me!!”

“..rather be.. Than lonely..”

Letting out a sigh, you look back at Nickolas and see his confused face staring at the gap between you and the door down at Sukuna. He stood there ready to go with his bag strap on his shoulder and keys in hand, giving you quick glances for some semblance of an answer. You give a small shrug, looking back to the immobile man on the ground.

Gently, you kick at one of his legs to try and get something out of him. “Sukuna, get up!”

Not a single thing, just a grunt and a tussle before your eyes finally connect with glazed ones. Maroon pools that were foggy beyond belief, not having a thought behind them. Nickolas tilts his head to the side and shakes it, giving you a pat on the arm and a sheepish smile.

“I'll get out of your hair, Y/n. Good luck!”

You step out of the man’s way, looking down at the disgruntled Sukuna and give a weak chuckle. Parting ways with Nickolas for the evening and kneeling down to Sukuna and shaking his shoulder. “Sukuna, you’ll get sick, get up.”

“..Doesn’t matter,” Sukuna mumbled, closing his eyes and taking a sip of his drink. “F’m sick, I’ll just be sick..”

“It does matter, now get up.”

You did your best to pull Sukuna up by his arm and into a sitting position, hooking the limp appendage over your shoulder and lifting him up onto his feet. It was a struggle since Sukuna was so heavy, but you managed. The stench of alcohol reeked from his breath and shirt, mixes of dirt and some stains that you didn’t feel the need to ask where they came from. 

Stumbling into your dormitory you freed the near empty beer bottle from Sukuna’s grasp and pulled the door close. He wasn’t giving much fight– probably due to the amount he drank– and just leaned his weight onto you. Mumbling to himself about things you weren’t going to pressure him into answering. Still, it made you wonder.

What the hell drove him to come to my place?

Surely, he wouldn’t mind answering that.

With a huff to your lips you plopped Sukuna’s heavy ass onto the couch and folded your arms. The beer bottle in your hand swirling around as you rotate your wrist ever so slightly, brow raising at Sukuna’s nearly asleep form. It was odd to see the big, strong and mean Sukuna Ryomen on his last leg from intoxication. 

Despite this, you found it cute.

“I’ll go get you some water and maybe a change of clothes,” You announce, tilting your head to see if that gauges a reaction. Sadly there was nothing but a huff and some finger taps on the couch’s cushions. Letting your arms fall to your side, you grunt and place the beer on the table. “Whatever, I’ll be right back.”

You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and some extra sheets from your bedroom before making your way back into the living room to Sukuna. A fresh set of clothing was provided, thanks to Geto’s many late night bang sessions with Shoko, and some cooling pads were placed next to Sukuna on the couch. He didn’t do much but glance at the items, turning his face away in– what you assumed– was a quiet protest.

Sukuna never acted this petty and spoiled before. What’s gotten into him?

“Let’s get you changed, yeah?” Gently, you press your hands to his chest, earning a reaffirming nod and proceeding to undo the buttons of his collared shirt. 

It was strange to be in this position. On your knees, undressing the man you’ve pinned for for so long, only to be seeing this messy and unkempt side you didn’t like to imagine him being. The feelings in your chest that you wanted to put away were making your heart race once more, every glance you got to see from the mess you called Sukuna.

His hair made him resemble his brother more than anything else now, hanging over his sweaty forehead and tattoo. Arms hanging loosely at his sides, man spreading for all of the world to see. Shamefully, you enjoyed the calm attention. Even though it was unsightly, you liked getting to touch all over Sukuna’s body.

“There,” You mumble to yourself, having officially released Sukuna from his shirt. “N-Now, onto your..”

Trailing off, you look down at Sukuna’s pants. Swallowing thickly at the idea of pulling off his trousers, you took a deep breath. I’m never going to live this shame down!

Gently, you began to undo his belt. You face burning ever more as the air began to tense, wishing that anyone but you would be this bashful over something so silly. Still, regret hit you harder than the embarrassment or shame ever could.

Sukuna was watching you. Watching your hands slip the belt loose, pulling his button undone and pulling at his waistband. You tugged, unable to yank them down and free his lower half.

“Sukuna.. Can you lift your hips?” You ask in a soft voice, startled by the quick response. But what was it really, he was watching your every move. You felt like you were being examined in some office and not helping Sukuna undress. “Thank you.”

“Mm.”

Making haste of the situation, you pulled down the fabric of his trousers and grabbed the loose shorts you had found from earlier. Ignoring all thoughts of Sukuna and how perfect his legs looked, the thick black hands of his tattoos on the fat of his thigh. The way the bulge in his briefs was much a cause for distraction, even denying that it twitched once freed from it’s confines.

Yep, never happened.

“There, all better,” You sigh, satisfied. “Now that your ready for bed, I’m going to do the same.”

It took a few minutes, but you had completely reclothed Sukuna and he now looked more sleepy and ready for bed rather than drunk off his ass and about to black out on the couch. You had struggled to even get him to take a sip of water and sober up, but to no avail. You figured you’d have to try again tomorrow morning and explain the situation once he woke up in a confused fit.

Getting him comfortable on the couch too was another ordeal you didn’t think you’d go through, but you did. Tucking in the large male until he was all cozy and warm, safely resting his head on one of your spare pillows.

“I’ll see ya in the morning, Ryo,” You mumble, letting your mind wander for a moment and tracing the outline of one of his tattoos on his bicep. Feeling the muscle twitch under your touch momentarily.

“Mgh,” Sukuna muffled out, cheeks warm to the touch.

Letting out another sigh, you stand from your spot next to the couch. Only to be pulled back towards the culprit at hand, falling ass first next to his lap. Sukuna didn’t make a sound, just grasped onto your hips and pulled you in for a hug. His arms anchored around your lower stomach, pressing into the arch of your spine and forcing you to press against him as well.

His nose was pressed into the crook of your shoulder, but you continued to crusade for answers from the sudden affection. “AGH! Sukuna, that was highly uncalled for!! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Answer me, dammit–!!”

“Who was that guy?”

You flinch, caught off guard. The clarity and conviction in Sukuna’s voice was strange, seeing as he had been stumbling and leaning into you for the last few moments. “Uhm, my Economics partner Nickolas. It shouldn’t matter, you need to sleep!”

“I don’t need sleep,” Sukuna grunts out, lifting himself off of the couch and trapping you underneath him. Using his big arms like a cage, eyes locking you in place with a vice on your heart. “What was he doin’ hanging here?”

“Sukuna, this is childish,” You start, ready to defend yourself for a confrontation. “He’s my class partner, you shouldn’t be upset over it.”

Wait.. why was he upset?

Previously, he had never seemed to give a flying fuck what you did or whom you did it with. What’s with the sudden change of heart? It made yours ache at the possibilities, wondering what could it be that made him so hostile all of the sudden over Nickolas.

“I barely know him anyways..”

“And you let him sit here on this couch?”

There was a small slap sound as skin met skin, Sukuna’s palm and fingers grasping your chin and cheeks. A gentle but firm squeeze sent shivers down your spine, your hand reaching up to try and pull Sukuna’s off but to no avail. His eyes scanned your face for anything, a sign.

Something. Anything that would make this ache in his chest stop.

“What is he to you, huh?” His voice came out rough, deep. Intimidating. 

It was scary, but a shudder was sent up your spine. A lustful and unneeded shudder, one that sent ideas to your brain. That made your mind wander, but you held them back. 

Even as Sukuna’s lips captured yours, as his teeth grazed and nibbled at your lower lip, your hands reached up to tangle themselves in his pink locks. You had to deny, because the Sukuna that was here wasn’t really him. It was a drunk and dissociated version of him, a side that you normally didn’t see. 

A side that he probably didn’t like showing.

“Did you let him do this, mh?” Sukuna muttered, pulling away from your mouth. A string of saliva connecting the both of you for a moment as your lungs fought for breath. Chest rising and falling heavily, your hands hold onto Sukuna’s arms, trying to find something to stabilize yourself in this mess of kisses.

“N-No, we just.. Talked about class–”

“Talked? About class? Me? You?”

Sukuna retreated his touch from your face and instead placed them on your thighs. Laying beside you on the couch, keeping you trapped against his chest and making sure to dress the blankets over you.

“Sukuna, seriously, this isn’t funny anymore,” You whimper, covering your face. How could you push this away? You’ve wanted nothing but to be closer to him, haven’t you?

Desired, pleaded. You wanted everything.. But this wasn’t the way.

Feeling Sukuna’s hands wrap around your waist, having his hot breath on your neck and shoulder as he rutted his hips against the fat of your ass. You felt utterly guilty, like trash. Wanting to crawl away from Sukuna and save him the little grace he had, to avoid giving him something to wake up and regret tomorrow.

“Y/n.. look at me.. Look at what you’ve done,” The man in question ordered, hooking your top leg over his elbow. Letting the bulge in his pants grow more and more, his voice becoming ragged and deep as he got harder and harder. “You’re making a mess of me, can’t you tell?”

You nod, wanting to pull away and sleep in your bed. But the desires in you only wanted you to fall deeper. The strings of your heart being plucked as Sukuna’s lips found the sensitive skin of your neck. Marking and sucking, lewd sucking sounds erupting from his lips as he made harsh hickeys form on the skin.

Mewl after moan escaped you, your pussy wet and slick under the confines of your panties and pajama bottoms. Sukuna could tell, releasing your leg from his hold and slowing his hips for a moment until his hand migrated to your front.

Grinding the flat surface of his palm against your clothed cunt, whispering naughty words into your ear that you had to drown out. Even if the wants in your belly wished for Sukuna to be there, to fill up your insides and make a mess. To be closer than he’s ever let you been for the last month or so, you had to stop this.

And you did, with much regret.

“Sukuna, stop,” You whimper, pulling Sukuna’s hand away from your body. Breaths coming out in baited huffs, you sat up. Not taking a moment to let yourself get lured back in, feeling Sukuna’s hand find your waist again as you resisted further.

“Stop what?” He mutters, annoyance in his voice. Laced with an emotion you wished to unhear. “Didn’t you want this too?”

“Not like this.” Cold, respectful. You had to be this way, to give Sukuna another chance. Letting him have his way now in such a drunken state, you wouldn’t be able to recover a good relationship. “If I was like anyone else, you’d be taken advantage of.”

Sukuna’s touch softened, his glazed eyes clearing for a moment as he looked at the back of your head. Seeing a shimmer of something on your cheek, his fingers trembled. He desired to reach up, to brush those tears away. It was against his very nature, his very being.

He didn’t like the idea of being all cuddly and cozy, being soft and vulnerable with someone. The idea of it made his stomach churn and made the urge to vomit impending. 

But, with you. Seeing those tears form, for his sake. He felt irritated with himself. He caused it. Him.

“I’m going to bed now,” You say, voice shaken up. “Get some water, sleep.”

You stood from your place on the sofa and walked over to the small hallway, entering your bedroom and letting out a shuddering exhale. A weight was now firmly sitting on your chest. It ached, it hurt, it burned.

Everything that pain felt like was exploding in your chest. Reaching up a hand to try and comfort yourself wasn’t worth the effort either as you slid down the wood of your bedroom door. Curling into a feeble position as the tears fell from your eyes, finally free after holding them the whole time.

What you wished you could do about the man on your couch.

. . .

a/n: y'all i literally have a crippling addiction to crime videos and all that shit it's just so interesting for no reason oml (crying inside) also sorry for the month long pause (i say sorry too much) i was creating new characters and working on ideas for the next few chapters!

Chapter Song Them: — Granite - Sleep Token (Lyrics)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleebloomed, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us , @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-in-l0ve , @jiordeci, @opossum0-0, @gumisgirl, @mommasbigd, @heyitstacy, @misslauravillanueva, @fallenlostarchives, @infinitivesearch

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Chapter 8 - May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

Guys, Max was never going to be her dad (that’s gonna be reserved for Christian lol). Everyone on the grid will be a brother figure, unless stated otherwise – like Fernando is leaning towards the wise grandpa rule and Lewis will be the cool dad (I have a funny story line to go with this idea). All that to say, Max and Kelly will look after her when she needs it most. I also switched the titles. On with the show, and don’t forget to comment if you want to be added to the tag list and or if it’s somehow not tagging you! Much love &lt;3  

Well, to Max’s dismay and according to google, you cannot adopt your 20 year old teammate that he had met hours earlier.. He had called Kelly early Thursday morning to whine. The more sensible part of his brain also knew that Christian wouldn’t let that happen either. And Kelly had to quickly remind him that he could still watch out for her. 

Max seemed to finally agree at the thought of being one of the protective adults in her life. He knew that you had your manager, who you seemed to trust. But, that didn’t help much when you spoke of how lonely you were. He was going to make it his mission to get you to move to Monaco, where he could keep an eye on you. 

“Maybe Christian could adopt her,” he muttered, staring angrily at his coffee. What that cup did to offend him, he didn’t know. But what he did know, was that he’d see you again later that night. Another festival for him to attend to. He only wished that Formula 1 went back to racing, and not putting on shows that had a strict attendance policy. 

At least you would be there. There was a change in the schedule so that you could be with him, Checo, Daniel, and Yuki on whatever thing they were being put on for the night. The buzzing of his phone ended his staring contest with his cup. 

It was a text from you. 

Little Racer : 

max, i need your help 

what are you wearing tonight??? 

i have an idea, and I think it’s stupid but i want to do it 

Big Racer : 

If it’s you, I don’t think it’ll be stupid. 

Probably what I always wear. Jeans and whatever Red Bull top they give me. 

Little Racer : 

that’s so grandpa core of you maxie 

and what is this all proper grammar for texting lollll 

you are not beating the allegations you millennial 

Max’s brows furrowed. He was not a grandpa or a millennial. He just liked to use the normal setting on his phone with proper capitalization and end marks. He would just have to ask Charles or Lando to see if they agreed with you. They wouldn’t though…would they? Your next message had him actually dying. 

Little Racer : 

do you think that Christian will be mad if i come dressed like elvis?

he said i could but i don’t know… 

Big Racer : 

You wouldn’t dare. 

Little Racer : 

oh boy ladies and gents, he doesn’t know 

*looks into the camera like an episode on the office* 

Big Racer : 

Did you seriously type all of that? 

Don’t answer. 

20 bucks says you won’t. 

The three little dots danced on his screen as he waited for you to respond. 

Little Racer : 

just you wait maxie, just you wait 

You didn’t text him anything after that. Max could only call Christian to understand what just happened. He picked up after three rings. 

“Hello, Max.” 

“Hi Christian. First off, happy birthday.” 

“Thank you son. But I know you didn’t just call me to wish me a happy birthday. You could have told me that later tonight.” In the background, it sounded like a coffee machine was running. Max hoped he didn’t wake him up. 

“Well, Y/n just texted me about wearing, uh.” Max didn’t want to say it out loud, because now it sounded stupid. 

“An Elvis costume? Max, the kid called me last night to ask. Said she didn’t want to ruin an image for us if she showed up like that. But I told her that it would be fantastic idea. Poor kid sounded scared.” 

Max let out a low hum. He didn’t like the sound of that. You were in no position to worry about such a thing. If anyone was to ruin Red Bull’s image, it would be him. He had no filter and Christian often had to tell him to reign in his thoughts. 

Max spoke, “I think I’m going to see about her moving to Monaco. She mentioned she has a flat in Nice, but that’s far away from Milton Keynes, and not close enough to anyone. Christian, she has no one.” 

It took a while for Christian to reply. Max could just imagine the older man running his hand along his forehead. It was hard to think of someone so young to be so alone. 

“Yeah, I think that would be best for her. I’ll make sure she can afford it. Hell, it could even be a property that we buy just for her to stay in when we have breaks.” 

Max listened and nodded his head along. Now it would only be to convince you to move. But suddenly, he remembered his previous conversation with you. He smacked his hand on his head. 

“Is everything alright Max?” the Brit on the phone questioned. 

“I just lost 20 bucks.” 

You however, had no idea that this conversation was happening. All you knew was that you had the go ahead from Christian to wear your beloved Elvis costume. Would you make a fool of yourself? Maybe. 

But who cares. It’s Vegas. To your chagrin, Vito had told you that there would be no walk out, but there would be dramatic paddock entrances. He still promised that you would get your song. That’s all that mattered to you. 

While you waited for the night to begin, you roamed the hotel. Because you were bored, you actually did a lot. 

You started off with breakfast. You were sad that they didn’t have the machines that made Texas-shaped waffles, because that was only in Texas, but the pancakes would do. And because you’re trainer would kill you for not eating well, you took it upon yourself to have a yogurt with some fruit as a side. 

After letting the food settle, you went to the gym for that daily grind. It had been a while since you had been able to work out, but you needed to get back on track. You would be racing tomorrow and you needed to be at your best. You lifted some weights first, starting with the smaller ones as warm ups before you got to the bigger ones. The stretch bands were very useful as you squatted the weights. 

After you were done, you hopped on the treadmill. By using the lower speeds, you were able to practice your runway walk, as if you would ever be a model. But the speeds increased and you found yourself in a full sprint by the end of the run. Five miles wasn’t bad, and you knew you could have gone farther, but you wanted to take a quick dip in the pool before getting ready. 

The water was a nice cool down for your overheated skin. Running was not your first choice of exercise. You’d rather run out of money, than run in real life. It didn’t make sense, but it did. The chlorine in the water was making your hair gross, so you decided to get out so that you could take a shower. 

Like the kid you were, you had your outfit laid out the night before, as if you were going on a fieldtrip. 

You allowed to take your time in the shower. It wasn’t every day that you made your F1 debut. That had your bones chilled. Your Formula 1 debut. You. Putting your head under the stream, you rinsed out the hair mask that you put on. There would be no nervousness. You were born for this. 

The thought of Max’s texts earlier made you giggle. You were glad that he was so welcoming. You would be much more nervous if you had met the infamous Mad Max. But this was more cat-dad Max. Kind Max. 

You only hope that you won’t screw things up. 

You turned on your playlist as you started to actually get ready. You ordered room service so that you didn’t have to go somewhere to eat. The food was amazing, well, as amazing as hotel food could get. You curled your hair as the remnants of your skin care routine dried. You mumbled the words to a song as you stuck a French fry in your mouth.

Once your moisturizer and various oils and toners dried, you started on your more pronounced makeup look. You knew you were going to be photographed throughout the night, and you needed to look good. Looking at the window, you noticed that the sun was setting. That meant that it was time for you to get dressed, and Vito would be there to pick you up shortly. 

Your outfit consisted of a sparkly white crop top and some white pants. A red scarf topped the outfit off. 

You would be arriving right behind Max and in front of Checo. You were excited to see the two men again. Moreso, you were excited to earn 20 bucks. With sunglasses on your nose, you were ready to hit the Sin City. 

Vito could hardly contain his laughter when you got in the car. 

You raised an eyebrow, “What?” 

He shook his head as to somehow rid himself of his laughter. “Nothing kid.” 

“Well Christian said I could wear it. I’ll blend right in. And besides, I’m almost immediately changing into my race suit.” 

He nodded his head at your reasoning. You had pulled off crazier things before, so he didn’t know why he was surprised. Maybe it was because he thought that you might not want to in F1. But, on the inside he was happy that you weren’t losing your child-like nature. He never wanted to see that seeming innocence to leave. He knew that you weren’t totally innocent, but he never wanted to see you hurt to an extent that you quit being happy. That was his favorite thing about you. You seemed to care about what others thought of you, but you knew how to make yourself happy. And if wearing an Elvis costume to the paddock would make you happy, then he would protect your decision. 

You could see the flashing lights even before you got out of the car. American paparazzi were on another level. You knew that Red Bull were one of the last ones to show up, and that freaked you out. Almost every single driver was already on the other side of gate. Your nerves settled when you saw Max get out, and you wanted to follow him. But, you realized that this was what you were waiting for. 

The familiar sounds of 33 Max Verstappen (the original one) could be heard through the car doors. Max’s face morphed into one of almost disgust. You let out a giant laugh and rolled down your window before you knew what you were doing. 

“Max, I love the music. Very Mad Max-esque.” 

He quickly flipped you a loving middle finger as he scanned his card to be let into the paddock. Multiple Elvis impersonators gathered around him for a picture. You hadn’t noticed, however, that the moment you rolled your window down, all of the cameras and photographers were now pointed at you. 

You buzzed with energy when you heard Life is a Highway start to fill the air. 

On the other side of the paddock, Max had stopped to talk to Lando, Oscar, Carlos, and Charles. He also was waiting for you so that you could walk with him to the Red Bull hospitality. He glanced over to see if you were out of the car at least. 

“Nice entrance mate,” Lando clapped him on the shoulder. He rolled his eyes. He’s sure that you roped Christian in to play the song. 

“Well what did they play for you?” 

Lando deflated and muttered, “Let’s go Lando.” Carlos and Charles, along with Max, laughed at his demise. 

Charles suddenly looked over Max’s shoulder. At that moment, Carlos spoke up. 

“I didn’t know Checo was a Cars fan.” The drums and guitar seemed to be turned up to the highest setting. What. An. Entrance. 

Max had a glimmer in his eyes, “He’s not.” 

And suddenly, there you were. In your Elvis costume. And you were loving it. You waved at all the people around you, quickly becoming a crowd favorite. 

From his right, Charles hums and Lando’s jaw is dropped. 

“That’s the new rookie, correct?” Suddenly, George was with them, along with Alex. 

Max only chuckled. “Yep.” He popped the “p.” 

Charles spoke up, “She’s nice. I met her at Arthur’s birthday party, but didn’t speak to her much.” 

“You all will love her. Trust me,” Max said, eyes widened as you got crowded with the other Elvises. You smile could outshine a thousand suns. 

Your eyes quickly met his and you gave him a giant wave. He beckoned you to come over. You flashed a nervous look before it melted away, replaced with bravery. If there was a time to meet some of the grid, you really hadn’t wanted to be dressed as Elvis. 

Your steps were quick and you made it over in no time. Now, most drivers are tall, but look short next to George, being the giraffe that he is. However, you were another thing. 

You’d definitely be taller than Yuki by a couple of inches. But you stood closer to five-foot-six (167.64 cm.), almost 5 inches shorter than Max, and four inches shorter than the rest. 

You gave a shy wave as you spoke, “Hi, I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.” You suddenly remembered something. You turned to Max and held out your hand. 

The boys’ eyes widened as Max fished out his wallet and placed a bill in your outstretched hand. 

“Pleasure doing business with you sir.” You mocked a salute. 

Lando tsk-ed, “What did our Max loose a bet on?” 

“He said I wouldn’t come dressed like this. Little did he know, I’ve had this in my closet for years.” Lando couldn’t help but laugh at your revelation, and neither could Carlos and Charles. 

“Yeah, kid, you should have told me that Christian already gave you the go ahead.” 

“And where’s the fun in that?” You had a shit-eating smirk on your face. Lando was the first one to speak up. 

“How old are you? Max over here keeps calling you kid.” 

“I’m twenty.” 

It was an amazing recreation of that one tik-tok trend. I’m twenty, insert looks of disgust, uhg. Your heart dropped at their reactions. 

It was Carlos who surprised you. He quickly patted your head, “Aw, just a baby.” 

You looked at him in awestruck. You leaned over to Max and all but whispered, “Max?” 

“Yes kid?” he said in full voice. 

“He’s older than you right?” 

“Yes.” 

“Can I do the thing?” Max looked Carlos up and down before smiling. 

“Go right ahead.” The smile that you had was wiped off your face. You squared your shoulders and held out your hand. Carlos took it with a confused look. You gave him a firm handshake. 

“Thank you Mr. Sainz.” You swear he did a full body cringe. He was about to say something, but Christian had waved the two of you over, yelling something about time to get ready. 

You flashed a smile at the small group, “It was nice meeting you!” You all but bounced away as Max calmly walked by your side. 

“Did she just?” Lando looked to Carlos, who was frozen in his spot. He looked like someone had just told him that his car had blown up on the way here. 

He looked at his hands. “Mr.,” he gulped, “Sainz?” 

Oscar finally piped up. “Well, you are old.” Carlos looked close to a breakdown. 

Charles put a hand on his shoulder as he watched you and Max walk on the ramp. Max’s face was now stone-cold, yet yours still radiated so much warmth. “Come on mate. We got to go.” 

As they walked away, Carlos questioned, “I’m not old, am I?’ Charles could not, would not, should not, give him an answer. 

Lando and Oscar just looked at each other and then back at the disappearing duos. Laughter filled the air as they also began to walk to their respective hospitalities.

As you and Max got closer to the garage, you got a little quieter. 

“I don’t think they liked me very much. I knew the costume would be a bad idea.” The look of dejection was all over your face. Max looked over at you and huffed. 

“Kid, they just don’t know you yet. They’re also stressed about this race. No driver liked to drive on a track that was built in a month.” 

“You’re right.” 

“Kid, I’m always right.” You hit his shoulder. 

Christian was quick to get you, Checo, and Max all together for a couple of pictures. Since it was Christian’s birthday, there was cake and everything for a small celebration. After, the three of you were told to get into the racing suits for the opening celebration. 

You were with Mitch while you did so. 

“You’re telling me. That Kurt Cobain is going to perform. And I’m going to miss it! With John Legend!” Your eyes were wide as you zipped the suit up. 

“For the last time kid, you can meet them after.” You pouted as you tied your shoes. 

“Fine. But let me say, this is very Hunger Games of them. So Americanesque.” Mitch just let you talk. 

After you were ready, minus the helmet and all that, Mitch led you to the glass box. You turned to look at her. 

“Promise me that you’re not going to be dragged away to your death. This is so Katniss Everdeen coded and I cannot lose you like she lost Cinna.” Mitch was going to tell you off for worrying too much, but she could see through your eyes that you were trying to actually tell her that you were scared of the whole thing. No wonder you were rambling, you were just nervous. 

Mitch brought you into a hug and squeezed. You practically melted as you squeezed her back. Over your shoulder, Max was looking at the whole ordeal. He’ll give you a hug right before they went up. He knew how scary this world was. 

Mitch was given the signal that everything was about to start. You climbed into the box and some official closed the door. 

Mitch looked up at you, “May the odds be ever in your favor.” Your jaw dropped in appall as you were slowly being lifted. So she did know the movie! 

Max put a comforting hand on your shoulder as your face was suddenly hit with a breeze. All around you, people were cheering and lights were flashing. You suddenly wished you had brought your sunglasses with you. 

Max scoffed as he raised his hand to wave. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“This isn’t racing. We’re standing here, being observed, like a bunch of clowns.” 

“At least this won’t last long. We’ll be in the car soon Max.” You were right. If it meant anything, he would be back in the car soon, in his element. 

A beep let you three know that the machine would be going down in the next few moments. When the machine jolted down, you quickly stood up straight, hand behind your back, and put three fingers to your mouth. Your lips kissed your fingertips before you held the three fingers up. 

It was still loud as you did it, but the crowd died down as they watched you and mirrored your display. You watched in awe at the raised hands. 

The three of you lost sight of the crowds as the box was now back where it started. Max looked at you in bewilderment. 

“What was that?” 

You let out a large gasp. “You’ve never seen the Hunger Games?” You must have been loud because someone else gasped as well. Looking over, you were met with the sight of blond hair and striking blue eyes. 

“Max, you’ve never seen the Hunger Games?” Logan stomped over. 

“Dude I know. So not girl boss of him.” Max looked at the two of you in confusion. Girl? Boss? 

You and Logan were quickly swept into a conversation about American tendencies while Max just stood in between the both of you, looking like he’s in the middle of a midlife crisis. You and Logan were only pulled away when you needed to get into the car for free practice. 

As you left, you turned around and faced Logan, giving him a look of faux sympathy. “May the odds be ever in your favor.” 

“At least you didn’t volunteer,” Logan laughed as he turned away. 

 Max was still in the middle of his midlife crisis when Christian came to tell everyone that it was time to head to the garage. 

You felt your heart rate picking up as you got closer to the garage. You took a deep breath and exhaled. 

It was show time. 

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @digitalizeduniqueness @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko @assholeinatrenchcoat @kagatinkita @glitterquadricorn @zyonsay @tsukishimawhore @treehouse-mouse @ashy-kit @agent-curt-mega @julesbabey @lydialawrence @stopeatread @claudia5912 @nichmeddar @blueberry64857959

[sy-on-boy]

(Potentially) new information from the Spy x Family exhibit book!

Okay, I’ve done some digging around and not gonna lie, some information in there has me excited. I can’t read Japanese so I took photos and put them through translate, so it’s not the most accurate, and please take this post with a grain of salt. Here we go!

Translations are more than welcome! Feel free to use these photos and feel free to DM me for clearer photos. I would also love to know what this all means haha. Japanese “raw” text is taken from Google translate and may be inaccurate to what is actually shown in the photos.

✩ The SxF world apparently has no Christmas!

I’ve heard claims of it, and here’s a picture I took.

“遠藤達哉先生 コメント

こちらは冬の休載イラスト です。 電飾一個一個を北斗 神拳ばりに連打して描きま した。 クリスマスっぽい雰 囲気を出していますが、 『SPY×FAMILY』の世界に クリスマスはありません。”

Google translate tells me that there’s no Christmas in the SxF world but he tried to create a Christmas-like atmosphere? Not sure but it would align with other people’s claims.

✩ Yuri apparently had a girlfriend in a rough draft!

This is Endo’s handwriting so the machine can’t recognise the words easily, but I think the woman in the bottom of Yuri’s sheet is his “girlfriend”? And Google translate tells me she’s Yuri’s “weakness” and Twilight might use her against Yuri / take advantage of the girlfriend? This is a very interesting idea that didn’t get used in canon (yet?). I think in canon, Yuri is popular but he’s too devoted to his sister. A new significant other of a prominent character would shake things up. Especially when it comes to Yuri, a member of the SSS.

By the way, Yuri’s potential designs are kind of cool. I like the ponytail.

✩ Apparently “Oscar” was one of Twilight’s potential names! + Early Twilight designs

I think we know Yor was originally short for Yorlanda (this is in the upper sheet). There’s a whole list of names beside Twilight and the name Oscar オスカー appeared frequently. There are also more names that I can’t decipher.

✩ Designs of some potential WISE agents! (And early Fiona)

Fiona’s sheet (next to Yuri’s) was titled “WISE spy (female)” and now we have a sheet titled “WISE spy (male)”. Was Fiona a placeholder spy that made it to the main cast? Or will this “male spy” end up having significance too? The two smaller heads at the left are apparently Twilight’s associates. Also, a Melinda sketch. Not gonna lie, the male spy feels kinda cute. Hope he’s not completely scrapped.

✩ Endo’s interview!

I feel like I should put this earlier but I was distracted with the Christmas / Yuri’s potential girlfriend thing. This is at the very end of the book. Apparently Endo was influenced by the invasion of Ukraine in 2022. This interview was apparently taken in March 2023. I think it’s fairly important so I’ll wait for a proper translation before saying anything else.

✩ Comments on Donovan, Melinda, Redacted, and Sylvia!

These two pages are together and I found it significant because Endo discusses the SxF themes. (My notes are not direct translations.) Apparently:

Sylvia’s scene in Mission 20 is Endo’s favourite scene, and he was looking at materials related to war for a long time and wondered if he could make use of it. [JP below]

とてもお気に入りのシーンです。 「SPY×FAMILY」の連載とは関係無し 昔から戦争に関する資料は色々見て いたので、多少はこの作品にも活かせ ているのかなーと。

Donovan’s statement of “in the end, people will never understand each other” (rough paraphrase) is the theme of the work. And Endo wanted to create a feeling of Donovan being the final boss. He didn’t plan on arranging it from the beginning, but he thinks the Desmonds are a good contrast to the Forgers. (Does this mean the Forgers think people will understand each other?) [JP below]

作品のテーマでもあるセリフ ですね。 少しでもドノバンの ラスボス感を醸し出せればい いなーと思いながら描きまし た。最初から意図して配置し たわけではないですが、デス モンド家はフォージャーと 良い対比になっているのかな と思います

The chapters on Twilight’s past coincided with the anime so Endo thought it was a good idea to explore Twilight’s past. [JP below]

アニメが始まるタイミングな のもあって、黄昏〉という人 物を掘り下げる良い機会かな と思い過去編を入れました。 あまり重たくなりすぎないよ うに、でも伝えたいことは最低限伝えられるように、自分 なりにバランスを取って描い たつもりです。

Melinda is described as “friendly” (?) even though she is dignified. A positive description of Melinda… interesting. What’s also interesting is that after she learns that Yor is the mother of the child who got into a fight with Damian, she “shows interest”. Melinda, what do you want with Anya? [JP below]

ダミアンの母で、東国元首相夫人。気品に溢れつ つも、気さくな性格。 ヨルが息子と喧嘩したアー ニャの母親と知り、興味を示している。

I personally think these two pages contain hints about the mystery of the featured characters and would love to know what it means :D

✩ Early Yor and Bond!

There’s a lot more Yor but again the image limit is constricting me. I really like the Bond designs, they’re funny and he’s just a chonky little boi :)

✩ Comments on the panel of Twilight’s head in Yor’s lap!

“珍しいイチャイチャシーンです。 ヨルさん は一年中酔っ払ってればいいのに”

Which apparently means: “a rare flirting (?) scene, I wish Yor was drunk all year long”

?!??! Twiyor?!! Hello!! I cannot resist mentioning this one, this is one of my favourite Twiyor / SxF scenes. Are we gonna get more drunk Yor? More Twiyor? More flirting? I’m excited now.

I’ve reached the image limit, so here’s all for this post for now! Translations are totally welcome and again I would love to know what this all means. I’m sorry if I accidentally said misleading information, so please tell me so I can correct it. Once again, don’t take my words as complete fact. The Yuri girlfriend thing is really surprising to me haha.

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves X Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37

A/N: Hi Everyone, sorry it took so long to put this chapter out. I swear I really tried to get it done sooner, but without going into too much detail, let's just say I got majorly hit by the Author's Curse. It wasn't easy but I finally am in a place where I was able to finish this chapter and I have already written some of the next one. Let's just hope I don't have a repeat of last time. Hope you enjoy and if you can please leave a comment that would be so cool! They make my day and really help to motivate me!

____________________________________________________________

Pt 38 - Don't (Let Me) Go

Light pushed through the silent darkness that surrounded you, the brightness slowly increasing as time went on. You could hear a ringing in your head, and as you opened your eyes to look for the origin of the sound, light flooded into your receptors causing you to wince at the intensity. You shut your eyes tightly once again and turned your head to the side trying to avoid the piercing light directly above you. Slowly, you could feel the rest of your senses begin to kick in. You were lying down somewhere and as your fingers slightly moved back and forth you could tell that you were on a carpeted floor. You felt like there was a layer of sweat covering your skin. Your mouth felt extremely dry like you hadn't had water in days and all you could hear was the buzzing of what you assumed to be the light source above you. Carefully, you opened your eyes, wincing at the light once more before allowing your cloudy vision to focus as best as it could. The world was bright and still a bit blurry, but you could make out the room enough to realize you were back in Kenny's basement.

You were confused. How the hell did you get back here? You shut your eyes again trying to force yourself to remember what happened last night but everything was a jumbled mess and it hurt to think.

You moved your head slightly in an effort to look around more but the slightest movement made you feel like you were moving through jello. Just slightly out of arms reach you could see Dean lying on the floor as well.

"Dean..." You groggily called

However, he did not move.

"Marks..." You called slightly louder

Still nothing.

You knew what you had to do. With all the energy you could muster you rolled yourself from your back onto your stomach. A wave of nausea washed over you, but you somehow managed to stop it. Now within reach of him, you slid your arm over and placed your hand on his forehead before smacking it repeatedly.

"Ah!" He shouted as he quickly sat up "Estoy despierto!"

You did not move your head to look at him and instead just opted to use your peripheral vision as best as you could. You could see as he lifted his hand to his forehead to hold it. You couldn't tell if it was from a headache like yours or because you had just repeatedly hit it. Dean looked around the room confused before turning his attention to you on the ground.

"Oh, you don't look good." He commented

"I'll be fine..." You replied still slightly disoriented "What did we do last night?"

"What didn't we do?" Dean stated back "I can't even remember everything."

"That's- not comforting..." You responded

Seeing that you were not getting the answers you wanted from Dean, you knew that you would have to start asking around to piece together the puzzle, but there was no way you were going to get an idea of what happened last night from your spot on the floor. However, the thought of getting up felt like a Herculean task given your condition. You had never gone as far as you did last night. Honestly, you should've listened to that alcohol and drug lecture you got back in freshman year, no matter how lame they were. They were correct when they rhymed Drinking lots is really bad, it makes your head and tummy sad. Your head and tummy were very upset right now. If only you had some water, then you could force it through your system with your powers and wipe a lot of your discomfort away. If only you didn't have to get up to accomplish that.

Wait.

You didn't.

Through your tired and headache-filled haze, an idea came to mind. All you had to do was roll on your back once more, open your mouth, and use your powers to collect the water molecules in the air close enough to create a physical stream of water.

You were a genius.

Gathering your physical energy once more you rolled yourself back onto your back. The basement lights above shined into your eyes once more, but you did your best not to focus on it and instead focus on the task at hand. Looking up you concentrated on the water molecules in the air and began to bring them together. Quickly, the molecules pooled together becoming an orb that floated in the air. The ceiling lights shone through the water and reflected the light into brilliant rays. If it weren't for your thirst you may have considered staring at the growing water ball longer. When the orb looked sizable enough, you opened your mouth, and let the water begin to fall.

Unfortunately, you realized too little too late that your genius idea was actually incredibly stupid as the orb of water fell from the air and down onto your face. Your open mouth caught a good portion of the water, but instead of swallowing it as you had planned, you began to choke as you somehow managed to drown yourself. The shock of it all sent a jolt through your system causing you to sit upright and let the water still stuck in your throat spill out onto the floor. With most of the water either on the floor or swallowed into your system you began to gasp loudly for air as you tried to settle yourself back down. At least you were sitting up now. As you began to catch your breath, you heard as a voice asked,

"Did you just waterboard yourself?"

Your head slowly turned your head left toward the voice and saw Bren sitting against the wall. His expression was still tired mixed with some shock. You furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance as you attempted to shout between gasps,

"N-no!"

Rather than replying, he just raised one eyebrow curiously most definitely implying he did not believe you.

"Shut up!" You shouted, finally regaining your ability to speak "I didn't mean to!"

"Shhh..." Viktoria shushed, waving her hand at you "You're too loud."

"Sorry..." You whispered

Finally taking a look around the room you could see the rest of your friends in some state of alertness although some look worse for wear than others. Dean and Bren seemed tired but not in pain, Lucas and Addison seemed like they had light sensitivity but nothing some ibuprofen couldn't help with, but Viktoria looked like she was gonna need a stronger concoction of remedies to get better. As people began to move around you considered actually getting up to get water, but before you could you were greeted with the cheerful yet loud voice of Kenny exclaiming,

"GOOD MORNING KRUSTY CREW!"

"SHHHH!" Viktoria emphasized louder

"Oh shush yourself, Vi. I've got home remedies and medicine to fix you all up." Kenny replied matter-of-factly

Ah yes, of course, the part-time EMT and full-time party king himself would know exactly how to help you all. You watched from where you sat on the floor as Kenny, who seemed completely unaffected from the night before, passed out items from a tray to each of your friends. Coffee for Dean and Bren. Extra-strength migraine medicine and Gatorade for Lucas and Addison, and the prior plus saltines for Viktoria. And then lastly there was you. You watched as Kenny walked over to you and reached down to hand you a giant glass of water. As he did so though he noticed the remnants of water that soaked your top half.

"What happened?" He questioned confused

"I'm far stupider when my head hurts." You replied annoyed "Please just give me the water so I can fix myself."

"Makes sense," Kenny commented as he handed you the water

Chugging the water he had handed you, you finally managed to set out what you wanted to do with your original plan. Getting the water into your system, you used your powers to move it about your body helping you to start feeling better. It was an incredibly weird feeling when you messed with only some of the molecules inside your body, but it was better than being nauseous and in pain. And truly, a recovery that took two minutes of being uncomfortable was far better than one that took two hours.

Soon enough, the searing pain in your head and the unease in your stomach both managed to subside allowing you to focus on more important matters. Like drying yourself off for one. Using your abilities to collect the water molecules in your shirt, you distributed them back into the world, ridding yourself of the evidence of your mistake. which finally led you back to your original plan, FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT.

Finally feeling confident in your ability to stand, you got up from where you sat on the floor, moved to the center of the room, and looked around at your friends. There were markings on each of your friends' left wrists wrapped in clear bandaging that conjured hazy memories of a weird biker bar. Looking down at your left wrist, you saw it was also marked with a symbol of your own. The memories became clearer as you recalled your conversation with Pogo and how you drew the image for him to tattoo. Looking at the tattoo once more you noticed that it seemed to already have healed over. Of course, it had. Your scars never stayed. At least not the physical ones.

That wasn't important though. As you pulled your clear bandage off your wrist you went back to looking at your friends. Things at first seemed ordinary even with the blacked-out gaps in your memory. But then things became odd. Bren had what looked like a streak of black paint on the side of his neck and Addison was wearing a diamond ring on her ring finger.

"Bren, how did you get paint on your neck?" You asked

"Probably got it when we graffitied that stupid banner last night." He replied, looking up from his coffee

You looked at him blankly. You had no recollection of that whatsoever. What banner would the two of you hate enough to even do that, anyway?

"Right." You responded, attempting to hide your lack of remembrance

After responding, however, you quickly looked over toward Addison who was snuggled up next to Lucas on one of the basement's couches.

"And where did you get your ring again, Addi? It's just so lovely." You asked feigning ignorance

"Oh, Lucas found it in a ring box in the bathroom of the club we went to and proposed to me with it." She answered, happily showing it off

"Yeah, and I finally got to use my Certificate of Ordination to marry them when we went to City Hall." Kenny chimed in

"Of course. How could I forget." You replied, still trying to hide that, in fact, you did NOT remember

There were vague memories of someone referencing City Hall when you were at the bar Pogo worked at, but besides that, you had no clue what happened there. Looking over towards Dean you could see that he had a smirk on his face. Locking his eyes with yours, you could hear as he said in your head,

You don't remember shit, do you?

You scowled slightly as you replied in his head,

Shut it. Just tell me what else happened. I already feel stupid enough from the accidental waterboarding...

His smirk turned into a smile as he explained,

Beyond breaking into City Hall so Lucas and Addison could get married? You helped Lucas forge adoption papers so Luther and Sloane Hargreeves are now his legal parents.

You thought to yourself for a moment before stating,

That does like something I would do.

Externally Dean gave you a nod before adding in your head,

Although, you should ask Viktoria where the fanfiction she printed for you is. She ran out like three government printers to put it all into these huge ass binders.

Your eyes went wide for a moment as you questioned,

Binders?

Oh yeah, at least two to my knowledge.

You gave Dean one more look before carefully turning toward Viktoria who was slowly going between eating saltines and sipping on some orange Gatorade on the other couch in the basement. Taking a few steps closer to her you softly began to say,

"Hey Viktoria, about those binders you put together yesterday-"

"Spider-Man fics are in the red binder. They're mainly Amazing Spider-Man focused but some are just general Spider-Man. However, In A Matter of Time fics, are in the blue binder and are sorted by who they're about." Viktoria replied matter-of-factly in between sips of her drink

Well...you did say you wanted to read some of those stories. Viktoria knew the types of tropes you liked and she read everything from the best of works to the worst of it all so at least you knew you were going to get the good stuff.

"Cool. Where are they?" You asked, still hiding the fact that you forgot about this too

"In the black bag over there?" Viktoria stated, pointing in the general direction of the far wall

Walking over to the wall you saw not one, but two, black bags resting against the wall. They were both relatively similar in appearance so you weren't sure which one she was referencing.

"Which bag is it?" you inquired, gesturing to the two bags

"I don't know, the left one?" She shrugged

Taking her word you walked over to the bag on the floor to the left. Crouching down, you opened the zipper on the top of the bag but instead of finding the aforementioned binders you were instead met with the sight of a large sum of cash, all in perfectly banded stacks. You paused, confused at the unexpected sight before you.

"Did you find the papers?" Dean asked

"Not the type that I expected to be in here." You replied

"What do you mean?" Viktoria questioned

"These aren't binders. This is cash." You stated, turning around to show the group "And a lot of it."

"Oh, that's my bag!" Kenny exclaimed, "Viktoria's is the one on the right."

Everyone slowly turned to look at Kenny. Confusion and concern running across all of your faces but his.

"Kenny, why do you have stacks on stacks in that bag?" Bren interrogated

"Oh, because I took it when we were at City Hall," Kenny stated nonchalantly

the jaws of you and your friends dropped as you looked at him. He seemed to not have a care in the world about what he had done. This was bad. Not apocalypse bad, but still, pretty fucking bad.

"You stole thousands of dollars from the government?!" You exclaimed

"The world is in chaos why would the government care?" Kenny explained

"IT'S MONEY!" You shouted, "THEY CARE ABOUT THIS SHIT MORE THAN HUMAN LIFE!"

Kenny paused for a moment, somehow only now realizing the severity of what he had done.

"Ah fuck...you right." He stated

"Hey, hey, calm down," Bren interjected "I'm pretty sure I managed to turn off their security system though."

Turing your attention from Kenny, you looked at Bren and questioned,

"How sure?"

"Like 75 maybe 85 percent sure." He answered

"That's pretty good." Lucas tried to encourage

"That's not a hundred," Dean replied

"So what? We can't leave this basement until the world ends?" Viktoria questioned

A silence fell over the group. You looked at each other waiting for someone to say something but no words came. Was Viktoria right? Was this it? Were you all stuck here in Kenny's basement for the short, but foreseeable future?

No. You couldn't let that happen. If the world was ending you were doing whatever you could to fill the time. You weren't going to become like the rest of the world hiding themselves away from the inevitable. You wouldn't let the dread of the end creep into you all. If you were going out, it was going to be together, as a group, on your terms. You refused to let the world take this from you.

"No, we can. We just need to keep a very low profile." You spoke up

Your friends turned their attention to you. There was confusion amongst the group, but that notable spark of hope in their eyes. There were a plethora of things you could count on your friends for. Friendship, support, humor, connection, loyalty, etc. But the most important one was hope. It was their hope that kept you going when things were tough just like it was your hope that kept them going during their dark days. You were a family. You loved each other. And when it came to wanting the best for each other no expense was paid to giving out hope to one another.

The apocalypse wasn't your fault, but it was your doing that they were aware of it. If there was anything you could give them now it was hope. Looking back at them you stood up straighter, and with confidence in your voice you explained,

"Like Kenny said, the world is in chaos, people are disappearing, and they might not put as much effort into looking for us as they would under normal circumstances."

Slowly but surely, there were nods of agreement at the statement. They made sense and if you were so confident in that fact then they should be too.

"Still, we should find a new place to lay low these next few days." Dean added, "God forbid, it's that 15-25 percent that Bren isn't sure, they'll probably still come checking our homes just to say they tried."

"Okay, but what place is going to take in seven strange kids no questions asked?" Addison commented

There was quiet chatter amongst the group about where you all could go to lay low. However, the confident look on your face dropped contorting into a grimace as you already knew where would be best suited to hide out. You did not want to take your friends there, especially with who were already staying there, but deep down you knew it was best.

"What's that look for, sis?" Dean questioned

"I know a place..." You sighed

"And you're sure they won't ask questions?" Addison pressed

"Positive." You explained, "The same guy has been working the front desk since at least the sixties and didn't ask why I haven't aged a day after 56 years."

"Well, I don't know about you guys but that works for me," Kenny stated

Everyone else seemed to either nod their head or mumble some type of agreeing statement to the idea. In your mind, it wasn't ideal but you knew it was your best bet.

"Alright then, everyone grab your important shit, shove it in my car, and let's go." Dean said

With Dean's declaration, your scattered friends started to get up and gather their things. Some more slowly than others. You felt a twinge of sadness as you looked around Kenny's basement. This place was your main hangout spot and it was filled with memories. You had hoped you could come back to this place each day, but just like many other places in your life, you had to move on. What was safest was best. There wasn't all that much to grab since most peoples' items were back at their respective houses, but soon enough everyone had gathered their sentimental stuff and gathered by the basement stairs ready to go. As you all began to make your way up the stairs, and to the front door you could hear Kenny exclaim behind you all,

"Wait!"

Everyone stopped on their own specific stair, except for Lucas who had already made it to the main floor landing and looked back at Kenny.

"What's wrong?" Bren inquired

"My tumbly's grumbly." Kenny replied

"Oh! I can make us eggs before we go." Lucas suggested

"No!" The rest of the group interjected

Lucas looked down the stairs at you all, his head tilted to the side in confusion at all of your reactions.

"Uh- no thank you, Lucas." You said, in a more polite tone "We'll get breakfast on the way."

With a quick shrug of his shoulders, Lucas smiled at the rest of you as he replied,

"Okay!"

And as he walked off toward the front door the rest of you looked down at Kenny who still stood at the bottom of the stairs, all giving him an annoyed glare.

"I don't know why you all are mad at me. You said no too." Kenny complained

Letting out a little sigh, you, like everyone else, continued up the stairs and out to Dean's car. With everyone piled in Dean pulled away from Kenny's house and drove off. After a quick stop at a diner, where you ordered and ate breakfast food besides eggs, you got back in the car and directed Dean to drive to the Hotel Obsidian, telling him it was mostly a straight shot down the road with one left turn after 20 blocks.

With that explanation though, Dean's sense of caution seemed to dissipate as he whipped out of his parking spot at the diner and floored it down the road. Weaving between the abandoned cars and ignoring most traffic lights, it seemed as if Dean had forgotten the speed limit, that there would still be some other cars on the road, and thatyou were trying to lay low. You could hear the sound of the song Tokyo Drift playing in his head as you sped down the semi-apocalyptic streets. You took a look at your friends in the backseat, most of them seemed at least slightly entertained except for Viktoria who was starting to look green. You were almost at the hotel though, so you hoped she could at least hold out til you got there to possibly spill her guts. As you approached the left turn to arrive at the hotel, Dean quickly spun the wheel left causing the car to do a few donuts in the intersection. You let him enjoy his fun for a few rotations as Bren and Kenny encouraged him from the back seat, but with Viktoria's condition seemingly worsening you decided to hit his arm suggesting he get a move on.

Finally making the left turn, Dean slowed down slightly as he pulled up into the front drive of the hotel. You all stepped outside of the car, leaving most of your items with you before having Dean lock everything up. You did however wonder why Kenny felt the need to bring his medbag with him, it's not like anything major was going to happen at the hotel. Nevertheless, you made your way, with your friends, toward one of the front revolving doors as you all collectively tried to push your way through in the same turn.

"Will you- god- back up, Kenny," Bren complained

"Dean, your elbow's in my ribs," Lucas stated

"Okay, we didn't all-" Addison began to criticize

"Move forward!" Dean shouted as he pushed the group

After a moment, the seven of you finally made it through the door and to the other side of the entrance. Spreading out to give each other space, you mentioned

"You know there were two doors, right?"

"Thank you, girl who can go through walls. That's some great insight coming from the person who didn't have to use the door with us, but did anyway." Addison remarked

Your mouth fell into an awkward frown as your eyes moved to look toward the floor. Sometimes you got so wrapped up in what was going on that you forgot your powers were even an option. It was a rare occurrence, but it still happened from time to time. However, being reminded that you forgot about your innate abilities made you feel a bit stupid.

"Okay, you're right, but you don't have to be mean about it..." You responded slightly embarrassed

As you dealt with recovering from your faux pas, however, your friends looked about the place they were now going to be staying in the meantime. However, any excited curiosity slowly began to fade as they took everything in. The sub-par hotel was noticeably old. From the furniture, to the lighting fixtures, to the carpet itself nothing looked like it was from this century. It barely looked like it belonged to the last one. The other people who inhabited the hotel were also an odd mix. Your friends tried not to make eye contact with them even as some of them quietly stared at the group.

"This place looks lame as fuck." Dean commented

"It smells like my Grandma's house," Kenny added

"(Y/N), why are we here?" Lucas asked disappointed

"Lucas you know why we're here. I have connections here, along with the Academy crew staying here as well." You explained, "I brought you all here so you'd be safe."

Lucas nodded his head at your response but then you could see as his eyes widened. A revelation came to his mind as you mentioned that the Academy was also staying here.

"Oh my god." Lucas said in a low tone, "I might get to tell Luther he's my dad now."

"Gonna be honest, looking at this place I'd rather take my chances with the government finding us," Bren remarked

You could see as the rest of your friends looked around at each other. No one was replying to Bren's statement, you could tell that they were thinking about it. Except Lucas of course who was too preoccupied with the thought of actually getting a new father.

"Listen, I know it's not great. But it's safer." You added reassuringly, "And I promise we will have a good time. Charlie and I found many ways to make this place at least a little fun."

There was a slight hesitancy, but after a moment you could see your friends become less tense about the situation. Their shoulders relaxed and their postures became more casual. It wasn't ideal but you were going to make this work for you all. As you looked about your group of friends though, you noticed that there were only 5 out of the 6 standing around the lobby.

"Where's Viktoria?" You asked concerned

"Right there," Bren replied pointing behind you

Turning around you saw your petite friend leaning over a small trash can looking as if she was about to puke. Poor Viktoria, her stomach upset so easily. Granted, you couldn't blame her given the events of last night and Dean's driving right after eating. You watched as she looked over toward your group, her head close to resting on the rim of the can. Between the paleness of her skin and the tired look in her eyes, you could tell that she did not feel well.

"Why don't you drive a little more recklessly next time, huh Dean?" Viktoria ridiculed, sickness evident in her tone

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm the safest driver I know." Dean replied, "We're all here in one piece are we not?"

Viktoria shot Dean a dirty look, but quickly after a wave of nausea washed over her causing her to turn her face back toward the opening of the trash can. Fortunately, she faced the can just in time as seconds later a stream of bile came from her mouth. There was a mix of grossed-out grimaces and sympathetic looks on the faces of you and your friends while other guests of the hotel looked on in disgust. As Addison rushed over to Viktoria's side you turned to look at the rude patrons staring at your friend.

"Mind your business!" You shouted, your eyes angrily flaring up

The prying eyes of other guests quickly averted themselves as you returned to normal and turned back to your group. Now kneeling next to Viktoria, Addison gently ran a hand up and down her back trying to ease her discomfort. With a sympathetic smile, Addison cooed,

"C'mon Vi, let's see if they have some old pretzels or something behind the bar to help your stomach."

Kenny quickly perked up at the word bar as he excitedly looked around the lobby once more. He had missed it the first time, but off to the side, there was a fully stocked bar with no one attending it. A wide smile came to his face as he ran off toward it cheering,

"It's unmanned! That means it's free!"

As quick as Kenny started running though, Bren took off after him.

"KENNY! NO!" He shouted, pulling out one of his whips to try and grab onto him

As Bren chased Kenny toward the bar, you looked back at the scene in front of you. Addison was trying hard to get Viktoria to get up so they could walk over to the bar and hopefully help her feel better. However, her efforts were futile as Viktoria's body refused to let her leave from her kneeling position.

"I can't move..." Viktoria groaned as Addison tried to lift her once more

Letting out a defeated sigh, Addison called out,

"Lucas! Come help me carry Viktoria."

"Oh uh- yeah," Lucas answered coming out of his thoughts, "Sure thing, babe,"

Walking over to where Addison was Lucas lifted Viktoria off the ground with ease. He was a very strong boy and lifting someone small like Viktoria was a piece of cake for him.

"Don't worry Sonata, I got you." Lucas comforted as he picked Viktoria up

He waited for a moment for Addison as she picked up the trash can and continued to hold it close to Viktoria's head. Once she was ready the two of them slowly made their way over to the bar to not disturb Viktoria's stomach more. And then there were two. You looked over at the rest of your friends by the bar before turning to Dean and saying,

"Well if everyone else is over there we might as well too,"

"You can go. However, I have to piss." Dean replied

"I told you not to drink four glasses of orange juice." You reminded

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just point me to the nearest bathroom." Dean remarked

Rolling your eyes, you pointed toward the back of the lobby toward the elevators.

"Off to the side of the elevators, there is a hallway. Down at the end of the hall is a communal bathroom. There are stalls, showers, and baths so don't be surprised if you see anyone in just a towel." You explained before commenting, "Or less."

"Do you know that from experience or...?" Dean questioned

"Not my experience. Charlie's." You answered, "I always showered at the Academy."

"Alright. Well, I'll meet you back at the bar with everyone else." Dean replied

With that, Dean gave you a short nod as he walked off toward the bathrooms and you began to head toward the rest of your friends. As you made your way over to the bar, you noticed Viktoria's phone on the ground. It must've fallen out of her pocket as Lucas had carried her. Picking it up, you took it with you. She'd probably want it back when she was feeling better, but given you hadn't used a smartphone in four years you felt very compelled to use hers. As you approached, the bar you called out to Viktoria,

"Vi, I found your phone. Can I use it?"

Viktoria, however, didn't look or talk back. Instead, you could see her give a shaky thumbs up. And with that approval, you sat down on the bar top, surrounded by your chaotic friends, and unlocked her phone to scroll social media.

Unbeknownst to you though, just across the lobby, the rest of the Umbrella Academy were gathering together as well. One by one, the members of the Hargreeves family had found all of themselves standing near the elevators asking each other what had happened to them recently. But as a silence fell over the group, a vortex of blue opened beside them spitting out Lila and Five onto the carpet of the hotel. Luther, Viktor, Allison, and Diego all jumped back in shock as they watched as the two of them collided with a travel magazine stand, smashing it to pieces. Five and Lila groaned from where they lay on the ground, surrounded by magazines and broken wood.

Rolling onto his back, Five could feel his head spinning. Through his eyes, he could make out the figures of his siblings, but it seemed like each of them had two extra duplicates.

"Shit." He muttered to himself

Sitting up, Five pushed himself to stand, but as he got on his feet he could feel his legs wobble beneath him as the world spun a little more. His mind was racing and yet he couldn't think straight.

"Where have you been?" Viktor questioned

"Facing my mortality, Viktor. I don't recommend it." Five replied as he began to regain his balance

With the world around him a little more stable, Five fixed his jacket and brushed the dust of the wooden stand off his suit. Regaining his composure, he now tried to regain his train of thought. It seemed like every time he time traveled it always seemed to screw with his head a bit. He didn't know if it was the act of traveling through time or the fact that he only ever did it under duress that made his mind get disorganized. Either way, it didn't help especially with so much on the line. As he focused more on the important things at hand, his focus was interrupted by Allison aggressively remarking,

"You had the briefcase? We've been looking for this!"

"Well, look no further. That's the last one on Earth." Five replied

Five watched as she knelt next to the case and took it into her hands. Examining it closer, it was obvious the thing was broken. Between the dents, scratches, and billows of smoke coming off of it, there was no way it was going to work again.

"Or was the last one." Five added

Allison scoffed, tossing the briefcase down to the ground in frustration before getting up and walking away to sit on a nearby staircase. With Allison off to the side, Five went over to the briefcase to inspect it. He didn't think it was workable, but given everything it didn't hurt to check. With one glance though, it was evident that the case was broken beyond repair.

"Yeah, that's toast." Five said aloud

As Five stepped away from the briefcase and began to finally collect his thoughts, Lila rushed towards Diego and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace.

"You're happy to see me. What's wrong?" Diego asked

"Turns out there's less time to hold grudges than I had planned. You're off the hook." Lila explained before asking, "Hey, where's Stan?"

Even with the idle chatter in the background between his family members, Five was able to gather his thoughts. The world was ending. He knew that. It was because of a Kugelblitz that it was ending. He learned that. Another version of himself created the commission and also died. He witnessed that. You, his girlfriend, were in danger of also dying. He discovered that. None of these thoughts were good, and they needed to be resolved fast. Calling the attention of those around, Five announced,

"Hey, Chatty Cathys, quit the chitchat, all right? I'm calling a family meeting here."

Hearing that, Lila attempted to walk away from the group but was stopped by Diego who held her wrist and said,

"Ah, ah, ah. That means you too."

With his mind fully in focus, and the things he needed to address listed out in his head, Five looked around at the group that stood before him, but as he glanced at each individual he noticed a very important one was missing.

"Where's (Y/N)?" Five asked the group

Besides Lila, who was with Five the whole time, the rest of the group looked around at each other for an answer. Their eyes met each other as shoulders were shrugged and uncertain mumbles filled the air. No one seemed to know where you were.

Concern bubbled up within Five. How could they not know where you were? You were with the group of them when he had left. How did they not see you? Terrible thoughts started to flood Five's mind as he thought of the possibilities of what could've happened to you. What if you were kidnapped by the Sparrows? What if a kugel wave blitzed you? Or worse, overwhelmed your powers and killed you? What if he was too late and you were already gone? In their conversation, his other self told him that he shouldn't have left here, that his time was running out. Was this what he meant?

"Where is my girlfriend?" Five harshly emphasized

Uncomfortable looks spread on the faces of the Hargreeves siblings as they stayed silent. Their silence though began to push Five into a spiral. His body tensed and frustration flooded his face as he looked at his siblings. There was one more thing about him that only Lila managed to notice. Panic. There was panic in his eyes even if his expression was angry.

His panic however was a cause of concern for Lila. Five had already stated that if he didn't have you, he would end the world himself. And if anyone besides Viktor has a reason to do it, it would be him. Lila didn't care about you appearing because she liked you, but more so because she had things she needed to do and Five ending the world would get in the way of that. And whether she liked it or not, if there was one person Diego cared about besides her, it was you. So he had to be the one to know where you were.

"Diego, where's (Y/N)?" Lila asked

"Uh, I mean she has to be here somewhere, right?" Diego responded

That was not the answer Lila wanted to hear. Hoping that with a little pressure Diego would remember, Lila pressed,

"Well, she's your sister so shouldn't you know where she is?"

"No, I've been busy with Stan," Diego replied

"Of course you fucking have." Five snapped from across the group

Five's comment didn't register with Diego though as out of the corner of his eye he saw Stan walk by with an armful of chemicals. Not really thinking about the issue at hand and instead wondering what Stan was up to, Diego announced,

"I'll be right back."

"Don't leave me with your- Dieg-" Lila called but it was useless as he had already walked away

Five's frustration began to boil over as Diego walked away to follow Stan. Diego, who still continuously criticized him for even breathing in your direction, apparently couldn't care less that you were missing. Only a few days ago, if you were missing he would've gone nuclear, but now it seemed that didn't matter. What a fucking hypocrite. With his emotions continuing to build up, Five faced the rest of the group, but with a crowd of blank stares looking back Five couldn't help but shout,

"SOMEONE BETTER TELL ME WHERE MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND IS NOW."

"I know where she is." A voice called out

Hearing those words a sense of relief washed over the entire group. Thank god, someone knew where you were because none of them did. However, after that moment of relief, they realized the voice was not familiar to them. Everyone's head quickly turned toward the voice only to be met with a teenage boy who had a similar resemblance to Diego. To Luther and Allison, there was something familiar about him, but Viktor and Lila had no clue who this kid was.

"Who's the mini Diego?" Viktor asked

"Y'know Viktor, I take offense to that, but seeing as we've never met before I'll let it slide." He responded

Viktor looked toward his siblings only to be met with more shrugs from Allison and Luther. But the look on Five's face was a different story. Five knew who this person was, but it didn't make sense why he'd be here.

"Dean?" Five questioned confused

Dean smiled. Not only because Five recognized him but because he was back and that was going to be such a relief for you. After he apologized for leaving in the first place, of course. Walking over to Five, he placed a hand on his shoulder as he greeted,

"Hey, Five! Great to see you. Sorry to hear about the black hole consuming all of existence, I know you tried really hard to stop that."

"A black hole is destroying existence?!" Allison exclaimed angrily

"It's called a Kugelblitz." Five replied flatly as he attempted to process what was going on

Lila looked at the teenage boy standing in front of Five. Who was this kid? And why did he look like a younger version of her boyfriend? Obviously, he wasn't a younger version because Five addressed him as Dean, but that didn't make it any less confusing. And even more so, he knew about the Kugelblitz. Lila thought the only two people who knew were her and Five. Trying to learn more, Lila questioned,

"How do you know about that?"

Dean looked towards Lila. he hadn't noticed her before, but he recognized her. They had never met of course, but Dean knew her as one of the villains from the Dallas arc of Charlie's comics. The comics that he now knew were about your life and the people in it. Dean narrowed his eyes at Lila, as his face contorted with disgust. Like most other fans of Charlie's comics, Dean did not like Lila. In his mind, Lila deserved no respect. And now, after coming to realize her significance in the circumstances that led you back to him and the things she had done, he hated her even more. She was actively ruining your life by just existing in it. And you, his beloved twin sister, should not have to put up with her existence. Dean wasn't going to tolerate that. Glaring at Lila, in a vile-laced tone, Dean responded,

"I don't associate with homewreckers."

"Excuse me?" Lila replied taken aback

Who was this kid? Who did he think he was calling her a homewrecker? What home was there even to wreck? Diego didn't have a wife or a child. Why was this boy so hostile toward her when they had never met before?

"You're not excused." Dean deadpanned

Lila's jaw dropped as she wracked her brain trying to make sense of what was going on right now.

Like Lila, Five was also trying to comprehend his current situation. Whatever semblance of a plan to discuss the end of the world with his family Five had was now thrown out the window. He was bewildered. Dean was here. Why? Dean knew who he was. WHY? Dean knew about the Kugelblitz. WHY? None of this made sense. Most things didn't make sense at this point but this was something else, and Five needed it to start making sense or he was going to go insane. At least more insane than he already was given what he had come back from. Placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, Five brought Dean's attention back to him.

"Dean, look at me," Five interrogated "How do you know who I am?"

Dean's eyes pulled away from the woman at the top of his shit list to look at Five. Five's face was filled with confusion, which finally reminded Dean of the fact that he technically was not supposed to know who you or the Umbrella Academy were.

"Oh uh, (Y/N) stabbed me with a needle and my brain became a recovered Google Doc and now I recall everything from the first timeline." Dean explained, "Except my death, of course."

Five's head tilted slightly, as he was now more confused than before. How did a needle jog his memory? Why did he mention his death? And what the hell was a Google Doc? Before Five could ask any follow-up questions though, Dean had turned to look at Viktor and added,

"And don't worry Viktor, I don't blame you for killing me, my friends, and everyone else in the world, but that's probably because I can't remember how we died."

The words that had priorly come out of this kid's mouth were confusing to everyone, but that statement struck Viktor like a semi-truck. His confused expression morphed into one of terror as he processed the words he heard. Viktor had killed this kid? He killed this kid's friends? And the only reason he wasn't mad was because he couldn't remember how it happened? What a terrible statement to have come out of some random teenager's mouth and what a terrible reality he now had to live with.

"I- um- what does that even mean?" Viktor questioned concerned

"No time." Five interjected, "How do you know about the Kugelblitz, Dean?"

"Oh, (Y/N) figured it out like a day and a half ago. She scribbled a bunch of math on a wall for an hour like a deranged scientist and then told all of us." Dean answered nonchalantly

Besides Five, the rest of the group look around at each other all wondering the same thing.

"Who's us?" Luther questioned

"The rest of our family. Who I need to be getting back to by the way." Dean responded as he started walking off toward the bar, "They're all over there."

The rest of the group quickly followed behind him but as they approached the bar, they were met with a chaotic scene. A blond boy nervously paced back and forth holding papers in his hands. A sickly-looking girl was heaving over a bin as her friend held her hair and ran a hand up and down her back. And then there was the lanky boy on the ground attempting to claw his way toward a bottle of alcohol just out of reach, as another boy used two whips to hold him by the ankles and pull him back.

"LET ME HAVE IT!" The curly-haired boy shouted

"You've had enough to drink!" The one holding him reprimanded

As most of the group took in the chaos a few revelations came to mind. For Luther and Allison, they recalled vague memories of their time in the bowling alley from the first apocalypse and began to realize that these teens were the same over-enthusiastic ones from then. For Viktor and Lila however, they realized that these kids bore a striking resemblance to the Umbrella Academy with each one corresponding to a different member. It was a little eerie seeing the similarities.

Unlike his siblings though, Five took no notice of the scene before him and instead, his focus shifted only to you. Once his eyes had locked on you it was as if he saw nothing else. He froze for a moment taking in the sight. There you were standing next to the bar looking at some rectangle in your hand. You were okay. You were still alive. He hadn't failed yet. The lights from above the bar cast you in a warm glow that seemed to brighten when you smiled at whatever you were looking at. Looking at you, the panic he had felt from not knowing if you were safe faded away, and without realizing it, he began to walk over to you. Step by step he drew closer, and yet every inch still in between the two of you felt like a mile. For someone whose whole thing was understanding time, he could never seem to grasp how it flowed so differently when he looked at you. Time seemed to move in slow motion as he gently took your face into his hands before pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Your eyes shot wide for a moment and Viktoria's phone fell from your hand as you tried to process what was going on, but you quickly realized there was only one person who could kiss you this sweetly. Five. Even this close up you recognized his face. You let out a happy sigh as he kissed you, your eyes fluttering closed and your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer to you. You were so relieved he was back.

As the two of you kissed each other, off in your own little world, the rest of the people around looked on. His siblings were honestly shocked. Five never came off as the affectionate type. Sure, he always stated that he loved you, but displaying that affection was rare. They could recount a few occasions in which he held your hand, but besides Luther who saw you kiss him when you showed up at the hotel a few nights ago, none of them could ever recall a time he had openly kissed you like this. Hell, Luther wasn't even sure if that kiss a few nights ago was your first or not.

Your friends however were a completely different story. Whatever they were originally doing came to a complete halt as mischievous smirks and smiles came to their faces. Loudly, they oohed and awed like a group of children finding out you got called to the principal's office. Hearing the comments from your friends, you and Five pulled back from each other, a red blush creeping onto both of your faces.

"Kissing before marriage? So scandalous." Addison chimed

"Yeah, get a room you two." Bren teased

"Shut- shut up." You stammered embarrassed

This was terrible, but this was your karma for teasing your friends about their crushes all those years. Just like you had found their red faces, averted gazes, and stammered responses funny in the past, they now felt the same about you. You could hear the stifled giggles of your friends around the bar and in an effort to avoid their gaze, you instead looked at Five. But as you finally took a good look at him, you now had a new issue on your hands. He was wearing a suit. The suit itself wasn't the issue, it was a nice suit and it looked well-made. The issue was that your boyfriend looked far too good in it. Your brain started to think about the kiss you shared a moment ago. It was sweet with a slight hint of desperation. You thought about how you would've reacted if you had seen him coming your way. Perhaps instead of wrapping your arms around his neck, you would've taken him by the tie to pull him closer. Maybe he would've stepped forward a little more pinning you between him and the bar. You wondered what would happen if the rest of the world was gone. If it was just you two. Alone.

"Jesus Christ, you're down atrocious." Dean remarked aloud, snapping you from your thoughts

Breaking from your trance, your head whipped toward where Dean stood leaning against a pillar.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" You exclaimed loudly

You quickly brought a hand to cover your mouth, regretting how loudly you snapped at him, but the shocked expression on your face and reddening cheeks did not match your twin brother's look of mischievous joy in the slightest. You could see as his smirk became replicated on that of your friends as they all realized Dean had gotten a glimpse into something they weren't privy to, but would love to be.

"What did she say in her head!?" Kenny asked Dean excitedly as he escaped Bren's grasp and grabbed the bottle near him

"Oh, it's not what she said..." Dean responded, mild insinuation in his voice

"Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!" Lucas chanted from his spot next to Addison

"Oh my god, fucking stop." You shouted nervously at your friends before turning to Dean and adding "And you! Get out of my head!"

"Think quieter." Dean remarked, "Before everyone else starts to hear you too."

You were so done with his and the rest of your friends' teasing. Were you down atrocious? Yes, obviously. But that didn't mean they needed to point it out and embarrass you in front of people like this. Especially not your boyfriend and his family. Luckily enough though, as you look around at the Hargreeves present all of them had bewildered expressions on their faces. You were safe. For now. Trying to switch topics before someone could mock you again, you mentioned,

"Anyway! Uh- end of the world, right?"

"Nice pivot." Bren teased

You shot him an annoyed look before turning back to Five who had finally remembered why he had left you in the first place. He left to find out why the world was ending. He found out more than he expected to, but nevertheless, he had the answer to his original question.

"I found out how the world's ending." Five stated, "It's a Kugelblitz."

As much as you missed your boyfriend, the second those words hit your ears you could feel a tinge of annoyance grow within you. You had asked Five not to seek out Lila. Not to leave you when you knew the two of you could figure it out together. But alas, he asked you again and you let him go. However, in his absence, you figured out what was happening with almost 100 percent certainty. You tried to keep your expression neutral, but your voice conveyed your true feelings as you mentioned,

"I know, I figured it out too. Myself. Here. In this time. All on my own."

It was evident that you were still upset about his decision to leave. He felt bad for leaving, but at the time he believed it was the right choice. Maybe he could've brought you with him, but he didn't think that was the best option. He couldn't see you and Lila getting along. And their method of time travel might've caused you pain. And seeing another version of Five die could've hurt your feelings. And...

Five reached into his pocket and held the ring he had found tightly between his fingers. If you had been there when he had found it, he couldn't have possibly given it to you. It would've been disappointing and not how he wanted that to go.

Five pushed his thoughts to the side. He needed to focus on what was going on now. Treading lightly, he responded,

"I heard. Dean mentioned that you figured out about the Kugelblitz."

"And? Anything else?" You inquired, your tone indicating you were looking for a specific response

Over your shoulder, Five could see as Lucas quickly grabbed a white napkin and marker from behind the bar. Rapidly, he wrote something down before holding up the napkin. There was an intense look on his face as he pointed repeatedly to what he had written down. In bold, black letters the nakin said only one thing.

APOLOGIZE

As the only other person in a serious relationship, Five quickly assumed that Lucas knew how to respond from experience. Also, if anyone knew what to say to you in this situation, it would be one of your other friends. Taking his advice, Five looked back toward you and took one of your hands in his, and with sincerity in his tone, he replied,

"I'm sorry for not listening to you and leaving. You were right, we could've figured it out together."

You blinked a few times in surprise. You wanted him to but didn't expect him to actually apologize for leaving. You looked over your shoulder at some of your friends for confirmation that he really did that, and while Lucas frantically shoved something in his mouth, Addison and Viktoria nodded their heads, letting you know you had heard Five correctly. Turning to look back at him, your lips curled up into a smile and you held his hand a little tighter.

"Oh um, thanks. I appreciate you saying that."

Internally, Five let out a sigh of relief. At least for now, that issue had subsided, but there was so much more he wanted to talk to you about. He tried to start forming words in his mind, but as he did so Allison stepped forward. She hadn't followed Five over here for his and your reunion. She followed to get answers about what was going on, especially since Five had returned with the briefcase destroyed.

"I've had enough of this, are you going to tell us what's going on or not, Five?" Allison remarked, frustration in her tone

Five looked at his sister. She wasn't happy, and she hadn't been for a few days now. It seemed like anything anyone did was infuriating to her, but it's not like she was helping to fix that either. However, even with her unpleasant disposition, she was right. Five needed to explain at least to his siblings what was going on since you had already informed your friends. Letting go of your hand Five walked around to the backside of the bar.

"Yeah, okay." Five replied, "Gather round everyone."

The rest of the Hargreeves and Lila, while still unsure about what just happened, and the random teenagers hanging about, stood around the bar while you and your friends stayed where you were. Grabbing some shot glasses, Five began to pour out drinks for the rest of the group, handing them out one by one to his family and Lila.

This was going to be a hard talk...

Five wondered how you delivered the news to your friends. They seemed so upbeat even when all of existence was disappearing. Then again, from what he knew, your friends respected you far more than his siblings did and probably didn't blame you for something out of your control. Pouring a shot for himself, Five immediately gulped it down. A little bit of liquid courage never hurt, and perhaps it could numb the pain of the verbal pile-on he expected to happen.

"So this Kugelblitz, it's...?" Viktor began to speak

"The end of everything." Five interjected "Every rock, every star, every atom sucked into a radiant black hole. Randomly collapsing matter every moment in time across all existence till nothing's left."

"Oof." Kenny said aloud

You couldn't help but snicker at his comment. You were in a terrible situation but oof was probably the funniest response someone could give to that explanation. It was a simple joke and reminded you of easier times, what was there not to enjoy about it? However, you realized your sentiment wasn't shared as the heads of the Hargreeves and Lila quickly turned to look toward you. The way they looked at you was as if you had laughed at a funeral. Well, given that the end of the world was at hand, you kind of did. Remembering that it was not just you and your friends anymore, you regained your composure and in a more serious tone stated,

"I'm sorry. It's not funny."

You could hear the mumblings of your friends saying they thought it was funny, but the Hargreeves paid no attention as they turned back to Five. Pouring himself another shot, he looked into his glass, stared at his reflection in the liquid, and mentioned,

"Hate to say I told you so, but..."

"You love to say I told you so." Viktor retorted back

"You know, it's impressive." Lila began to speak, setting her still-full glass down on the bar

The attention of you and your friends turned to Lila as she spoke, but the lighthearted vibe that was present between you all just a moment ago was quickly replaced with one of anger and resentment. The Hargreeves and Lila could feel the tension grow in the air as the chattering of you and your friends went silent. You all watched Lila, with expressions ranging from neutral to judgemental to disgusted. Nevertheless, Lila finished her statement saying,

"Whoever knocked off your mums hated you all enough to end the entire universe."

Lila's remark instantly sent anger through your system. If her comment was a gunshot your response was the ricochet. You couldn't speak for the mothers of the umbrellas since they did technically sell their children, but your mom, and by extension of what had happened, your dad, didn't deserve to die. They were the best people you knew.  Before you could even realize you had done it, Lila's shot glass exploded in front of her. Tiny shards of glass flew outward in the area catching everyone's attention. You didn't look at anyone, but you could feel their gazes on you.

"Fucking bitch." Addison muttered as she reached to hold your hand

Taking her hand, you held it tightly, as you held the beginnings of tears back. You took deep breaths and tried your best to keep them quiet. You had to keep a strong face. You could be upset, but you couldn't cry. If you did, Lila would probably take it as a win against you and your friends would see it as a reason to start a fight. And neither of those things you needed.

Some of your friends however were already willing to start a fight. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Dean step away from the wall he was leaning against, his expression angry and his eyes trained on Lila. But before he could walk over to her you used your powers to gently shove him back against it. Looking at him you thought,

Don't do it.

He looked back at you, still obviously disgruntled, but with arms crossed over his chest, he leaned back against the wall. You could hear it in your head as he thought,

Fine.

As Addison held your hand, and some of your other friends whispered comments to each other, Kenny walked over to you and poured some of the liquor from the bottle he was drinking from into your glass. Your friends' actions were small but they meant a lot to you.

There was a silence as everyone glanced around at each other waiting for who would be next to speak. Viktor looked between you and Lila. Between Lila's comment and your reaction to it, there was no safe way for him to bring up what Harlan had shown him. And that wasn't even including the reactions everyone else would have if Viktor did say something. He needed to do something to get the conversation away from where it was headed and to lessen the tension in the air. Trying to divert the topic, Viktor hesitantly said,

"We- we don't know that Lila..."

"It doesn't matter who created the thing." Allison stated firmly "We just have to kick its ass."

"Oh really? How?" Luther questioned sarcastically "Are you and Diego gonna punch it in the Kugel?"

Allison shot back a glare at Luther, but it was quickly ignored as he could feel the presence of someone behind him. Turning back, he saw the boy from the bowling alley who looked like him standing there. The boy nervously fidgeted with a stack of paper in his hands as he shyly greeted,

"H-hi Luther."

Luther couldn't remember this kid's name in the slightest. all he knew was that he looked like him and was one of your friends.

"Ah, it's...you." Luther said awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed "Bowling alley kid."

"It's Lucas." Lucas stated, reminding Luther of his name

"Right." Luther replied

The memories were vague, but he was starting to remember more of that night at the bowling alley. However, the only thing that came to mind was the numerous similarities the two of them shared. It was slightly unsettling, but there wasn't much either of them could do about that. Luther waited for Lucas to say something, but instead, Lucas stared up at Luther with a smile. Trying to figure out what was going on here, Luther asked,

"Can I help you with something?"

"Oh uh- yes!" Lucas replied, remembering why he approached Luther

Lucas looked down at the adoption papers in his hands. You had helped him forge the signatures of Luther and Sloane last night, before making a copy of the documents and filing them away in city hall. It wasn't the most ethical way of going about things, but it made Lucas happy. He had new parents! This was all he ever wanted. Even with his excitement, nervousness still filled him. Lucas had to tell Luther that he was his parent now, and he wasn't sure what to say. This had only come to fruition last night, and instead of preparing he was busy doing other things.

"I- wow, I really thought I'd get more time to prepare for this but uh-" Lucas stuttered

"Lucas, the world is ending. Spit it out." Luther requested

"YOU'RE LEGALLY MY DAD NOW!" Lucas loudly proclaimed

The heads of the Hargreeves snapped to look over at the two tall blonds. Most reactions were that of confusion, but Allison's face morphed with rage. First Diego gets a child and now Luther too? What was next? You and Five picking a baby off the street? It wasn't fair. She had Claire, her daughter, and she couldn't be with her! But everyone else got to be a parent? It was wrong. Angrily, Allison drank from her glass, her gaze boring into Luther's back as he stood there unmoving.

Lucas looked at Luther, silently waiting for him to say something. Anything. But nothing came. It's not that Luther didn't want to reply, he just couldn't formulate any thoughts. And instead of saying anything of meaning, he could only manage to get out a simple,

"What?"

"Don't worry though!" Lucas quickly explained "Your girlfriend, Sloane, she's legally my mom. It's all in here."

Lucas held out the adoption papers for Luther to take, and after a moment of hesitation, he did. Quickly he flipped through the documents, but to his surprise, they were legitimate. Even Luther's signature looked correct. Luther didn't know how this happened, but he couldn't be Lucas' father. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even have a good example of what to do either. And anyway, he saw how poorly Diego was doing with Stan, and he didn't want to be like that. Lucas seemed like a good kid, but Luther wasn't sure if he could take on this responsibility. Especially not with the world ending. Trying to let Lucas down nicely, Luther began,

"Listen, I-"

Seeing where Luther's response was going, you pulled yourself together and cut him off as you interjected,

"Lucas, can I speak to Luther real quick?"

"Oh, sure!" Lucas replied

Politely, you pulled Luther off to the side away from the bar. Using your powers you controlled the molecules around you, creating a sound barrier to stop anyone from hearing your conversation. With your back facing the group, you looked up at Luther with a serious look on your face and began,

"Luther, you better listen up because I am only going to say this once. That sweet angel of a boy has been through hell, sometimes worse than you did, in TWO timelines, to get to this moment."

Luther's eyebrows furrowed as he processed what you said. Lucas went through hell sometimes worse than Luther ever did? That was a serious statement to make.

"What happened?" Luther asked, cutting you off

You grimaced. Although the only one who could see so was Luther. All the times Lucas came to you for help because of what he had gone through with Austin ran through your mind. It hurt you to remember your friend's pain.

"I can't tell you exactly what happened. I promised him I wouldn't, but it was badand he didn't deserve it..." You replied quietly, a slight tremble in your voice

Luther looked at you and your pained expression before looking behind you at Lucas. Noticing Luther look his way, Lucas smiled brightly and waved excitedly, completely unaware of what Luther had just learned. He seemed like such a nice, happy kid. No one would ever guess something bad happened to him.

"He's my friend. I care about him and his happiness so much." You stated firmly, a hint of pain still in your tone "So if you break his heart, I will kill you in the most painful way possible and then go tell Sloane you did something so heinous the only option was to kill you. Are we clear?"

Luther turned his attention away from Lucas and back to you. Luther did not want to die by your hand. If you said you'd make it painful, you meant it. And on top of that, he didn't want Sloane to think poorly of him. But most of all, Luther didn't want to hurt Lucas, who he now saw some of himself in beyond just appearance. The world was ending, and currently, they had no plan to stop that, so he could at least try to do something good. Luther nodded his head at your words, and seeing his acknowledgment, in a more positive voice with an undertone of violence, you replied,

"Good. Now go be a better father than yours was."

Luther grimaced slightly at your words. You weren't wrong, but it still hurt. Nevertheless, he was going to do what he was told because there was still an undercurrent of violence radiating off of you. Carefully stepping away, he made his way back toward Lucas, who looked up at him excitedly. Luther stared back at him blankly as he wondered what to say. As you had stated, he didn't have a good father. What does a good dad say to their kid? Luther couldn't say I love you because that would be weird to say to a teenage boy he just met again, even if legally it was his son. He could probably say he's proud of him though, right? That's something Reginald never said so it had to be something a good dad would say. Then again, Luther didn't know what there was to be proud of, he was literally pushed into this role less than a minute ago.

"So...son...you have any recent accomplishments..?" Luther asked, still trying to figure out what to be proud of

Lucas was silent for a moment after hearing the question. Neither Austin nor Meredith ever asked him about his accomplishments. They may have birthed him and raised him, but for seventeen years they never cared about him. And yet here, barely one minute after telling Luther he was now his father, he asked about what he had accomplished. It was his first question to him as his dad. And on top of that, he called him son. Not Lucas. Son. Tears began to form in Lucas' eyes as his hands clenched into fists to hide the shaking that was starting to happen. He was happy and sad and everything that could fall in between, but if he burst into tears it would ruin this first moment. He couldn't do that, time was finite. He had to make this count. He looked over at Addison, his one and only, and smiled. She was his home. She was where he felt safe. She was his everything. And having her by his side was his greatest achievement. Looking back at the man he now called dad, he gestured over toward her as he happily exclaimed,

"I got married last night! My girlfriend is now my wife!"

Well, that wasn't what Luther was expecting, and by the looks on the rest of his siblings' faces, they surely didn't expect it either. Lucas and his...wife...seemed a bit young but, nevertheless, marriage is a nice thing so Luther could be proud of that.

"Congrats, son. I am proud of you." Luther said in an awkward but supportive tone before looking at Addison and adding "And hello...daughter-in-law."

"Hi, Luther." Addison replied politely "Ignore my friend puking. She's not sick anymore she's just so excited to finally meet Viktor."

"I'm going to talk to Lucas again now." Luther said unsure how to respond to that

"What? Me?" Viktor questioned

"Vi, don't be weird. Say hello." Addison encouraged

Looking up from her trash bin, Viktoria's eyes met Viktor's as she excitedly stated,

"Hi. I'm Viktoria! I was Viktor a long time ago but I'm not Viktor now, I'm Viktoria but you're Viktor so we're like the same and that's cool!"

Immediately after finishing her statement though, Viktoria once again puked into her bin from excitement. However, excitement was not the word Viktor would use to describe this meeting. Instead, a few different descriptors came to mind. Bewilderment. Concern. Deja vu. Overall, everything after Five and Lila's return had been confusing and concerning but looking into the face of a teenager who looked exactly like Viktor when he was younger. Now that was something else. And on top of it, he didn't understand anything of what they had just said.

"I'm sorry what?" Viktor asked looking for clarity

"Oh uh, Viktoria is transgender like you and your current name is her old name. Y'know Viktor, Viktoria, they're very similar so she's excited." Addison explained, "You're her hero."

"How?" Viktor questioned confused before quieting their tone stating "Nobody knew about me until my book."

Picking her head back up from the bin Viktoria replied,

"That's not true! I saw you in the background or off to the side of interviews the Umbrella Academy did. I picked up the viola because I saw you had a string instrument case on you in one of them!  I practiced the viola every day. I owned and memorized your book in three languages. I did a whole report on you in middle school!"

"I hated that project." You chimed in

"Yeah, yeah. Broken hand, emotional trauma, we already know." Viktoria retorted before continuing, "Anyway, I wanted to be just like you."

"Really?" Viktor inquired

"Yeah! Of course!" Viktoria replied sincerely, "You're my hero."

A small smile came to Viktor's face. It was nice to know that someone looked up to him even before he figured out about his powers again. And in a way, even though this was someone else saying these things, it felt like a younger version of himself telling him he was worth it even before everything that happened.

While the emotional bonding between some of your friends and the Hargreeves was happening, it had no effect on Five. He stopped paying attention to what was transpiring after he heard Lucas state that he and Addison got married. Five wasn't shocked by their young age, nor the short time frame in which they were reunited and then married. He was just surprised that a wedding had occurred. It felt like the universe was sending him gut punch after gut punch when it came to marriage. The hallucination, the ballroom, the ring, and now this! He didn't know if the universe was trying to push him in a direction or just down an emotional spike pit. Still in disbelief Five restated aloud,

"They're married?"

"They sure are! I married them last night!" Kenny exclaimed

Five looked from Kenny over to Lucas and Addison. There was love in their eyes as they looked at each other. They had no cares except each other even if the world was ending. Five couldn't help but feel a jolt of jealousy run through him. It wasn't fair that he was burdened with saving the world while everyone else got to do as they pleased. But these were your friends and it felt wrong to be upset at their happiness. In an effort to hide his feelings, Five picked up his drink taking a big sip of the liquor within. But as he did so Kenny spoke up commenting,

"Why are you and (Y/N) looking to get married? I'm legally ordained, I can marry you two right now."

Hearing those words, Five began to choke on his drink, and whiskey, a drink that typically would go down smooth, did anything but. Five's mind darted all over the place as he processed Kenny's words. Married? Now? No, you couldn't. He hadn't proposed. But he had a ring in his pocket. So he could. Surrounded by friends and family is kind of romantic, right? But he just announced the end of the world, and that certainly wasn't. And this was nothing like he planned in his head. But if the world kept sending him signs maybe the two of you should just bite the bullet? As his mind raced and he coughed on his drink, his eyes darted over toward you trying to gauge your reaction. However, he was only met with a look of concern probably because he was literally and metaphorically choking. With no context clues from you on how to respond, Five stuttered, trying to get any response out,

I- uh- well- we-"

"Kenny! This is the seventh time you've done this in the past day!" Bren reprimanded, smacking the back of Kenny's head "Stop asking people if they want to get married!"

Relieved by Bren cutting him off, Five managed to pull himself together. This was going terribly. He could anticipate the way his siblings reacted to situations or the types of comments they would make, but he couldn't say the same for your friends. Glancing over at you again, he saw as you calmly sipped from your glass watching your two friends bicker.

"What! Nothing speeds up major life decisions like the end of everything!" Kenny replied exasperated at Bren's disapproval

"Some of them weren't even couples!" Bren shot back

You were completely unaffected by this. It was honestly impressive. Then again this is what you dealt with for years, you must've been used to it by now. But as you lowered your glass he noticed something else. You smiled. Curious, he leaned closer to you and asked,

"You're happy they're fighting?"

"They're best friends, it's not fighting to them." You replied taking another sip from your glass "And there's comfort in the chaos."

"How so?" Five inquired

"It's familiar." You answered, "Reminds me of times before well...y'know."

"Oh." Five said aloud "Right."

Five's eyes averted your gaze and his head turned slightly to look away from you. Perhaps it was unconscious to him, but you could sense the shift in his demeanor. Placing your hand on his cheek you gently turned his face to look at you. You could feel as he leaned into your touch. It seemed that with every curveball life threw at him he needed these small gestures of affection more and more, and you would never deny him the love he both needed and deserved. With his gaze returning to you, you looked back at him softly.

"They're here and you're here, and that's all I want at this point." You cooed "So stop worrying about me and put that smart brain of yours toward coming up with a plan."

"I can never stop worrying about you." Five replied gently

"Maybe you should." Allison jabbed "Do you even have a plan, Five?"

The harsh comment caught the attention of everyone else as they all turned their gazes to Five. However, Five looked toward his sister, an irritated look was plastered across her face. He knew what her problem was, but he felt no reason to engage with her. If she didn't want to accept reality and blame it on everyone else that was her problem to deal with. Not Five's. Turning away from his sister, he looked at the wider crowd around the bar.

"Well, the best plan is to go back in time and eliminate the paradox and destroy whatever it was that took out our mothers and stop the Kugelblitz before it starts," Five explained, "But we can't do that. Briefcase is kaput."

"And why the hell can't you just jump us out of here?" Allison complained

"Last time I tried that, we all got trapped in time. Do you really wanna risk that again?" Five questioned back

Leaning over to Addison and Viktoria, you lowered your voice as you told them,

"I'd risk it if you guys could come this time."

"Let's go to a timeline where Spider-Man is real and falls instantly in love with you." Viktoria jokingly whispered back

"Jeez, Viktoria wants to see a fight." Addison quietly chimed in

"A fight? Viktoria wants to see a homicide." You quietly shot back

"Well, do you want to see a homicide?" Addison teasingly inquired

Your eyes darted over to your boyfriend as you recalled the time you and he killed the board of directors for the commission. The way he was covered in blood and the determined look in his eyes. God, he was so hot. Honestly, part of you wanted to see what he was like jealous. And the thought of him getting in a fight over you? Well, now that was appealing. You were surely willing to lose Spider-Man if you got to see that. With a smirk on your face, you looked back at Addison and Viktoria as you replied unseriously,

"Whaaat? Noooo...that would be crazy."

The three of you attempted to stifle your laughter so as not to distract the Hargreeves from their incessant bickering over what to do now. But as you tried to enjoy the moment with your friends, Dean noticed a trio of figures heading toward the bar. Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, and some random kid, who he could only assume was Diego's oops baby. Whatever joy he may have felt from seeing his friends having a good time together disappeared the moment he saw Diego's stupid face. Instead, anger began to build up inside Dean as he recalled the things you had told him that Diego had done recently that upset you. He knew he was the better brother. He had never done anything to hurt you like Diego had and one way or another, he was going to make Diego recognize how badly he fucked up. As the trio finally arrived at the bar, and Diego walked up beside Lila, Dean commented sarcastically,

"Wow, what a surprise. The deadbeat actually showed up."

"Mine didn't..." Kenny mentioned

"This isn't about you, Kenny." Dean replied

While Dean's comments didn't phase your friends, some sideways glances were sent Dean's way including one from you. However, unlike the Hargreeves, your glance was that of concern.

Dean was...passionate.

He felt things very deeply and had a tendency to express his feelings openly. And he wasn't one to shy away from an argument either. Or a fight.

You hoped that his comment was a one-off jab, but knowing him you'd have to keep a watchful eye out. 

As Stan stood next to Diego, he looked around at the people around the bar. Some of the faces were familiar to him but there were a number that he had never seen before. Looking to Diego, Stan asked,

"Who are all these people?"

"Oh, and he brought the sentient jizz stain too." Dean remarked

Like the rest of his siblings, Diego gave another sideways glance toward Dean. However, unlike the disbelief on their faces, Diego's reaction was more disgruntled. He couldn't recall much of this kid, but he knew one thing, he was your friend. Looking around the bar, to much relief, he saw you sitting across the way.

Your eyes caught Diego's for a moment, and from his face, you knew what he was looking at you for, and unsurprisingly, it wasn't the fact that you were missing for almost two days. There was no sense of concern on his face, only an annoyed look as his eyes flicked over to Dean before looking back at you. Pretending not to have noticed his gaze, you summoned Viktoria's phone which you had dropped earlier, to your hand and began to start scrolling through it again. You felt no incentive to stop Dean's comments because honestly, you co-signed his sentiments. You couldn't make comments like his without stirring the waters between all the Hargreeves, but Dean could make his comments freely without causing too much interpersonal drama. So unless you felt like he was about to get hurt, there was no reason for you to intervene.

Lila however, did not appreciate Dean's comments. Turning around to look at him, she criticized,

"Hey, don't be mean to my kid."

"Hey, nobody asked Wrong Direction." Dean replied, mocking her tone "And for your information, nobody here believes that the sex trophy- no- participation award- is actually yours."

Lila's eyes darted around the rest of your friend group, only to be met with disgusted glares or smug smirks. Did you all know the truth? Did you know that Stan wasn't her or Diego's child? Or was it only a comment made to catch her off guard? Either way, there was a slight unease at the thought that made her keep quiet. But before she could think of something to say, Klaus walked up to the bar, grabbing a glass out of Five's hand, as he stated,

"Gimme that."

"What happened to you?" Five questioned, looking at the blood on his shirt

"Oh, just a speargun to the chest. I died. No big deal." Klaus replied

"Oh neat! Did you meet the girl on the bike?" Kenny asked

"No, thankfully I didn't have to deal with her," Klaus answered, taking a sip from the glass

But as he drank, he realized the voice that had asked the question was unfamiliar. It didn't belong to one of his siblings, or you, or Lila. Placing his glass down he looked over to where the unknown voice came from only to be met with a teen boy who looked just like Klaus in his youth. It took a moment, but through his resurrection haze, he vaguely recognized the boy as the one from years ago at the bowling alley. Klaus paused for a moment. The little girl on the bike, aka god, could only be met on the other side. Not even ghosts who stuck around on this plane of existence knew who she was. So how did this kid, who was very much alive, know of her?

"I'm sorry- how do you know god?" Klaus questioned

"I've met her. I see her sometimes when I pass out at parties. She adores me." Kenny replied enthusiastically

Kenny's response left Klaus with more questions than answers. This kid met god? And multiple times at that? How? He would've had to die to have met god. Did he die? Was this kid also immortal somehow? And what did he mean by she adores him? Klaus' experiences with her were filled with annoyance, so why was he welcome?

"I have follow-up questions," Klaus stated aloud

"This isn't about you, Klaus." Diego interjected, before looking at Lila and asking "What did we miss?"

"The universe is ending, and we're all going to die," Lila answered

"You say it as if it isn't your fault..." Dean scoffed

Diego's head whipped over to look at Dean. He had only made a few comments, but those few were more than enough, and Diego was tired of his shit. Trying to get an answer for his actions, Diego stepped up toward Dean and snapped,

"What is your deal?"

Dean scowled at Diego and rage burned inside him. Dean hated Diego for all the ways he had upset you. He hated him for forgetting Eudora once she died. He hated him for hooking up with the first person who gave him attention after Eudora's death. He hated him for being stupid and getting said person knocked up. He hated him for abandoning you consistently throughout that process when you needed him now more than ever. He hated that even through all of that he had the gall to still consider himself a brother to you. But most of all, he hated that he actually looked up to such a degenerate scumbag for so long. Taking a step toward Diego, with fire in his eyes and vile in his tone, Dean shouted back,

"My deal is that you've got a lot of nerve showing up here, fucking Benedict Arnold."

And with that, it was time for you to intervene because whatever was coming after this wasn't going to be pretty. Flashing over to Dean, you placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back a few steps. Lowering your voice, you asked,

"What are you trying to do? Start a turf war in the middle of this shithole?"

"No, I'm saying what needs to be said," Dean replied before raising his voice and loudly stating "But I wouldn't mind getting a few swings on the infidelity duo over there."

"Stop that." You chastised "You're going to get hurt."

"No I won't," Dean refuted "With you I'm already on the winning side."

Dean was right, if he got in a fight with Diego you would take his side. And on top of that if you could solo all the Sparrows you could 100% take down all the Umbrellas. Well...so long as you beat Viktor to the punch, but that wasn't important. No matter how capable of a fighter Dean was, and he was capable, you didn't want him to get hurt.

"Dean no," You said pushing him a little further from Diego and Lila "Just take the high ground. Please."

Dean was your twin brother, and if you made a decision or suggestion, he was always the first to accept and respect it. If he backed down now then hopefully Diego would resign himself as well. You watched as Dean looked at you, his face softened upon seeing your pleading gaze. Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, he looked at you sincerely as he replied,

"No."

Your pleading look turned to confusion as Dean sidestepped you and locked eyes on Diego. Marching over to him with his gaze unbreaking, Dean's rage came back in full swing as he angrily shouted,

"Fuck you Diego Hargreeves you traitorous ass bitch! I regret looking up to a two-faced adulterous prick like you. I hope you constantly stub your toe. I hope your dick falls off. I hope all of your knife attacks miss even with your bitch ass powers. I hope your pet sperm right there is a lifelong disappointment like you. I hope you ruin your life and don't realize it until it's too late you snake-ass No Belt Prize-winning whore."

You look at Dean in disbelief. He rarely even went against you, especially not after the incident when you were seventeen. However, it seemed that currently, his emotions were stronger than his judgment. You readied yourself to jump between the two of them, but you paused as you felt tension fill the air. It wasn't the type of tension that came from people disagreeing though. No, this was the tension that built before something snapped.

"(Y/N), are you gonna do anything about him?" Diego angrily asked

You didn't respond. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you sensed something growing in energy. Slowly, you turned your head to look in the direction of the sensation only to be met with a terrible omen. You saw as the molecules around you began to vibrate faster and faster and faster. More than they typically did. A knot formed in the pit of your stomach as you stared down the danger heading your way.

Breaking his gaze on Diego, Dean looked at you. Immediately, he clocked the way your hands shook at your sides and the slight staggering of your breathing. Were you okay?

"(Y/N)?" Dean called concerned

You couldn't respond. You couldn't move. You couldn't do anything except prepare for what was coming. And while no words escaped your lips, you only had one thought,

Help.

Hearing your thought, Dean pushed Diego out of the way and as another wave of the Kugelblitz hit you and you began to collapse to the floor, Dean caught you from behind and brought you to the ground. The pain was searing as you now lay on the ground, your head resting in Dean's lap. The energy of the wave ripped at you causing the prior gashes on your cheek and hand to reopen, while new ones formed on your forearm and collarbone. Blood seeped from the wounds as you looked up at Dean for help. You tried to speak but your breath caught in your throat. No. It wasn't just caught. 

You couldn't breathe. 

Fear filled your eyes as you attempted to gasp for air only to be met with nothing. Dean held your face in his hands, fear reflected in his eyes as he watched you struggle. His mind raced back to that day in the warehouse. He couldn't let that happen again. Looking up, with a tremble in his voice, Dean called out,

"Guys h-help."

But by the time he had finished his plea the rest of your friends were already surrounding you. Kneeling in a circle on the ground, your friends' bodies unintentionally created a wall keeping others away from you, including that of Five. He tried to get close, tried to kneel by your side like the rest of them, but there was just no space. And so, he was relegated to just standing and watching in fear as you struggled against something completely out of his control. 

As fear coursed through the veins of all your friends, Kenny knew he had to do something. Of course he was scared for you, you were his friend, but he couldn't let his fear get in the way of helping you. He was the most qualified in this situation after all. Taking a deep breath he calmed his nerves, and as he had done many times before in his EMT job, he quickly began to control the situation. He first looked toward Bren, who was kneeling to the left of him, and commanded,

"Grab my bag. Now."

Quickly, Bren pulled out one of his whips and snapped it towards the medbag that Kenny had miraculously brought in with him. Snagging the bag's handle, Bren pulled his whip back toward him. With the medbag in hand, he passed it over to Kenny who immediately opened it. 

As Kenny put on a pair of latex gloves, he looked at Addison and directed,

"You need to get her to breathe. I don't have the supplies to monitor her this time if she loses consciousness again."

With a quick nod of her head, Addison turned her attention back toward you. Hesitantly, Dean removed his hands from the sides of your face as he now let Addison hold it. Your eyes were glassy from the lack of oxygen, but the fear behind him as you fought to stay conscious was ever-present. Gently, she maneuvered your head to meet her gaze and when your eyes were focused on her she stated,

"(Y/N), I need you to breathe. It can be a gulp, it can be a gasp, but you need to breathe. NOW."

As her words hit your ears and you saw the serious look in her eye you felt compelled to do what she said. Pushing through the pain, you found the strength within yourself to breathe. Taking in large gasping breaths, the world came into more focus, but each breath felt like a dozen knives cutting into your lungs. You wondered if death would be less painful than this.

Your thought didn't matter though as Kenny had already decided that you were not dying today. With you finally managing to breathe he began the process of quickly fixing you up. Using a large rubber band, he tied it tightly just above your elbow to cut the circulation of blood off and stop the gash on your forearm from bleeding out. With the largest problem mitigated for now, he used alcohol wipes to clean up the blood and disinfect your other open wounds before placing medical tape over them.

You let out a scream as the alcohol stung your gashes. The world was already tearing you to shreds from the inside and the sting of the alcohol, although minor in comparison, hurt like a bitch when combined with the pain of the wave.

"Hold on to my arm. You can grip it til the pain stops." Lucas encouraged as he switched spots with Addison

Your hand shakily moved to grab his arm, but you hesitated for a moment. If you grabbed him, it was going to be tight. The pain was unyielding. You didn't want to bruise him. You thought,

 I don't want to hurt him.

Dean looked away from you for only a moment as he met Lucas' eye and informed him,

"She doesn't want to hurt you."

Lucas looked away from Dean and back toward you. Taking your hand, he placed it on his arm. He knew why you of all people would hesitate, but you were always there for him when he was hurting and now he was going to do the same for you. With sincerity in his tone, Lucas stated,

"(Y/N), you could never hurt me."

 You gave him a weak smile, but tears fell from your eyes as you internally begged for this to be over. With each wave, the time between starting and stopping increased, just as the intensity of the pain you felt grew too. You shut your eyes tightly, but opened them again as you felt someone wipe away your tears. You looked up at Dean who, just like when this ordeal started, held your face gently in his hands.

"You're gonna be okay. I'm here. I'm he-here this time. I'm gonna k-keep you safe. I swear." Dean comforted as he tried to choke back sobs, "Just keep your eyes open. Please just keep your eyes open." 

With the hand that wasn't holding Lucas' arm, you shakily reached up and wiped your brother's tears away. 

"You're the one in pain, y-you shouldn't be worried about us." Dean slightly joked, his voice still wavering

Through gritted teeth, you managed to smile slightly. You loved your friends so much. They meant everything to you and in a time like this, where they all worried for you, you needed them to know.

"I...love...you guys." You managed to get out, "Don't...let...me go."

"We could never let you go." Vitoria responded

"Yeah, you matter far too much." Addison added

"You're our glitter glue, remember?" Lucas reminded "You keep us together."

"Not just that, you're our family." Kenny mentioned

"If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be us." Bren stated

"We love you." Dean replied, "Never forget that."

Even through the fear and the sadness, you could see the beginnings of smiles on your friends' faces. You could feel as they all got closer and each of them tried to hold some part of you. You could feel it as the wave became stronger again. It was finally returning. Even though it hadn't been more than a minute or two it felt like forever, but you could feel that this would be over soon. You closed your eyes tightly and focused on the feeling of your friends surrounding you as the wave finally went past. And when it stopped everything around you felt...lighter. 

Opening your eyes, you took a deep breath and fortunately, it didn't feel like you were being pierced repeatedly anymore. You didn't have the strength in you to stand yet, but you did manage to get yourself to kneel. With your mind no longer focused on the pain you felt, you looked for your friends, but they were nowhere to be found. All that you could immediately see were the shocked or horror-filled faces of the Hargreeves. Why were they looking at you like that? You looked up at Five, his jaw was slightly agape and sadness swirled in his eyes. Looking down at yourself, you saw blood stains and gauze litter your body. Oh. He was probably so worried about you. Turning your gaze back to Five, you gave him a weak smile.

"It's not that bad. Kenny can take care of it." You comforted before looking around and asking, "Where is he? Where are my friends?"

Five's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as he heard your question. How could he look you in the eyes and tell you that all of your friends were gone? As you struggled with the pain of the kugel wave, he watched as all of your friends got blitzed. Quickly, quietly, and god, hopefully painlessly they vanished. How could he explain this without breaking your heart?

"Love...they..." Five tried to speak

He stopped. He couldn't get the words out. 

"What?" You questioned concerned "Where are they?"

"Ma cherie..." He replied mournfully

His lack of response worried you. Frantically, you began to look around the area for your friends again, but you still couldn't see any of them. It wouldn't be like them to leave your side when you were injured. They had never done so before. They always stayed closed until they knew you were okay. Where were they? Using your powers you tried to sense their molecules, but there were only faint traces in the area from loose hairs and skin cells. Your head whipped back and forth in a panic searching for any sign of them when you saw a glint out of the corner of your eye. You reached back for the sparking object, took it in your hand, and turned to look down upon it. There in the palm of your hand was a set of car keys.

Dean's car keys.

His car was his prized possession. Veronica was his baby. He never forgot his keys. He never lost his keys. He never went anywhere without his keys. But if these were here and he wasn't...

Oh god...

No.

A blood-curdling scream erupted from your throat as you clenched the keys against your chest. They were gone. They were gone and it was all your fault. You bought them here to keep them all safe and now you had none of them. Your body hunched over as you gasped for breath between your screams and sobs. Your face was red as tears streamed down in messy streaks with nowhere to go except the floor where your friends' once kneeled at your side.

Dropping to his knees, Five wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into him. He held you as tight as he could and ran a gentle hand through your hair as he tried to soothe you. His efforts didn't do much at all though, and how could he expect them to? If he was in your place, if it was you that he lost, he'd be inconsolable. 

"THEY PROMISED!" You shouted grief-stricken "THEY PROMISED WE'D STAY TOGETHER!!!"

"I'm sorry my love." Five tried to comfort "I'm so sorry."

Looking at your boyfriend, you tightly grabbed his jacket, the material balling in your hands as you begged,

"Baby, bring them back. Please."

"I- I can't..." Five sorrowfully replied

"Yes you can! Just reverse time! Bring them back!" You cried

If Five could've brought your friends back, he would've done it already. The sight of you in so much emotional distress was somehow more painful than seeing the way the kugel waves affected you. In either case, he had no control over what happened, but he wished he did.

"I can't...I used all my energy to get back here." Five lamented "And even if I could, I can't stop the kugel wave from happening."

You could feel your chest tighten and another piece of your ever-fragile heart shatter as you struggled with the fact that you got your friends back only to lose them again. Pain morphed into anger as you pushed Five away shouting,

"WHAT GOOD ARE TIME POWERS IF YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKING USE THEM!"

Your words stung and it hurt Five that you pushed him away, but he knew that you were only acting out of grief. You didn't mean it, you were just hurt.

Quickly, your anger came and went as the feeling of overwhelming grief returned. Dropping Dean's keys on the ground in front of you, you threw your head into your hands as you let out another mix of uncontrollable sobs and anguish-filled screams. As you cried the lights in the area began to flicker and nearby objects rattled in their place.

Seeing the disturbance in the area, Stan, who was already on edge from accidentally killing Klaus and witnessing a bunch of people disappear, became frightened. Looking up at Diego, he said nervously,

"Dad, I'm scared."

Hearing Stan speak, you looked over in the direction of his voice. Oh? He was scared? What did he have to be scared of? He wasn't the one bleeding out, nor the one who just lost six loved ones. You were. If anyone was scared and in need of comfort, it was YOU.  You saw as Diego looked at you. There was concern on his face and for a moment you thought he would come over to you. But then he looked at Stan behind him and you watched as Diego, literally and figuratively, turned his back on you to hug Stanley. And in that moment, something in you broke as you realized you had no family left. 

Diego knew that you were the cause of the flickering lights and shaking objects. Occasionally,  when your emotions became too extreme it caused your powers to affect the world around you. He needed to calm you down, and things would return to normal. Letting go of Stan, Diego looked at him and comforted,

"It'll be okay. Just give me a second."

Turning from Stan, Diego began to walk over to you. Your face was wet from tears, but adrenaline rushed through your veins as he approached. You couldn't stand to be near him. Fury outweighed your body's weak unease as you began to push yourself to your feet. Seeing you try to stand, Diego took  your arm to help you up, but you quickly shook him off as you demanded,

"Don't touch me!"

"I just want to help," Diego explained

"No! Go away!" You yelled

"Let me just-" Diego began to say as he tried to take your arm once more

Like a storm in your mind, waves of emotions all clashed together. Sadness. Grief. Betrayal. Anger. Abandonment. Mixing together they were a recipe for unimaginable sorrow. You weren't just hurt, you were broken. Why did Diego want to help you now? He didn't rush to your side, like Five or your friends, when the wave hit. He didn't hold you and tell you you'll be okay as the world ripped you apart. He didn't comfort you as you realized all your friends were gone. He did none of those things. But you knew who would've.

Your dad.

You were his little anomaly. His perfect little girl. Your dad loved you so dearly and if he was here he would've been by your side already. How dare Diego, in the aftermath of everything, now decide to come over to you. How dare he now decide you were important enough to help. You didn't want his help! You didn't want him! You wanted your dad! Rage, strengthened by your grief, engulfed you as you shouted harshly,

"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD, DIEGO!"

A heavy silence fell over the group as your words echoed through the area. As you finally managed to get to your feet, you bent down and picked up the roll of gauze from Kenny's med bag. You refused to look at Diego and instead opted to wrap up the wave-induced gash on your forearm, but all Diego could look at was you.

A clenching feeling formed in his chest as your words rang through his head. Diego knew he wasn't your dad. He never touted himself as such and yet your words hurt him more than anything his own father had ever said to him. You only said it because you were lashing out, right? You were upset about your friends and so you were lashing out at others? That had to be it. Diego saw you lash out at Five, and you loved Five, so you were probably just lashing out at him too. Taking a step toward you, Diego reassured,

"I just want to take care of you..."

As Diego took a step forward, you took a step back. Finally looking at him you could see the hurt in his eyes. For a moment you felt your anger falter, but as you processed what he had just said, the flame reignited.

"Oh, now you wanna take care of me?" You question sarcastically before gesturing to Stan and Lila "How about you go take care of Stan because apparently the random kid that shows up out of nowhere looking nothing like you OR Lila is more important than the one you fucking raised!"

"Princess..." Diego cooed

"No! You don't get to call me that and expect me to just- to just run into your arms and say it's okay!" You rebuked before angrily questioning "Don't you understand why I'm upset?"

Of course he knew why you were upset, especially after the comment you had just made. It was the same reason that you were upset this whole past week. It had to be about Lila. Yes, she did try to kill you, and yes, she did show up out of nowhere again a few days ago, but a reaction this large seemed a bit much.

"Prin-(Y/N), is this about Lila again?" Diego asked

Lila? He thought this was about Lila? Sure, she tried to kill you which was annoying, and yeah, she did show up again without any real consequences for her actions, but this wasn't about her. And in that moment, you came to realize that none of it was ever really about her. These feelings took root not through her actions, but his.

"Oh my god! It was never about Lila! It was about YOU!" You snapped at him "God forbid I didn't want to see you as a bad person. I wanted a reason, a scapegoat, something to explain your shitty actions!" 

Your statement took Diego aback. What did you mean this was about him? What had he done? He was so confused, but he wasn't the only one confused either. Five looked over to Lila who was already looking over at him. She tilted her head to the side with a confused look on her face as if to ask him for clarity, but all Five could do was shrug. This was a new development for him too. Granted, it's not like you two had the time to talk about it either, but nevertheless, he knew nothing about this.

"I don't understand." Diego replied confused

You thought back on memories with Diego. So many of them that had once brought you joy or comfort now felt different. They felt tainted. You didn't know if you were finally seeing clearly or if your pain was causing you to look at them in a bad light. And then you thought about the day that Diego and Eudora split. How she wanted him to stop trying to be a hero and to focus on their relationship, and he refused. His desire to be a hero trumped his desire to be with her. All this time, did he ever actually care about you or was he only concerned about being viewed as a hero in someone's eyes? Lila was giving him the attention he had wanted from Eudora, and as of late, he seemed to focus more on Stan because Stan was focused on him. Your burning anger flattened into a calm rage. Your heart rate slowed, you straightened your posture, and your face showed no clear emotion as you looked Diego in the eye.

"I do. I see it so clearly now." You explained monotonously "You don't care about me anymore."

"What?! Of course, I do!" Diego exclaimed

Of course, he cared about you. Why would you say such a thing? You were his little sister. His princess! He had always cared about you. He didn't know what he had done to make you think otherwise, but it wasn't true. His bottom lip started to quiver as he wondered why this was happening.

Seeing the pain in his eyes, you started to rethink yourself. This was Diego. Your Eggo, your older brother. He was the one who came in the middle of the night to the academy when you were still hallucinating the young Umbrella Academy and made them go away. He was the one who comforted you when you had nightmares and held you til you fell back asleep. He took you to all your first days of school. He was there for all of your accomplishments. He took you to tour colleges. If none of this had happened then two months from now he would've been sitting at your graduation. No, you had to be thinking wrong. You were going to give him a chance, an olive branch, to prove to your broken heart and possibly clouded judgment that he did care about you. Taking a deep breath, you tried to center yourself before speaking. It was going to hurt to bring this up, but in your mind, it was the only way to know if he cared or not. Letting out your breath, you questioned,

"If you care about me then acknowledge Eudora. I just want you to acknowledge that she existed. That she was real and she was ours. I want you to remember what she meant to us, but you avoid the topic of her like the plague. So tell me, was she real to you like she was real to me?" You questioned

Diego looked at you blankly. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't prepared for a conversation like this. Not here, not now. He didn't want to do this. He didn't even know if he could.  

His silence didn't help you though. Why wouldn't he talk about her? All you wanted from him was to say something to show she was still in his mind. That the memories you created together were still there. Anything to prove he loved and cared for her and what you all had. Hurt bubbled inside you again followed by a slow anger. You needed an answer.

"Did you love her, Diego?" You pressed "Or did you stop caring the moment you couldn't be a hero to her anymore?"

Your questions weren't fair. He wasn't ready to speak about this, especially not with Lila around. He loved Lila. How could he have this conversation without the possibility of making her feel less than or secondary? This wasn't a conversation for her to be a part of. At least not yet. Why were you so determined? Why was this the hill that you had decided was so important to die on?

"(Y/N), it's-  it's complicated." Diego tried to explain

Complicated? How? Why? What was so complicated about remembering a person you loved? Anguish and anger swirled together as Diego's words, or lack thereof, affected you. Whatever composure you had tried to build quickly slipped away. Why couldn't he give you this? Why couldn't he even say her name? At this point that would be enough. Your throat and chest clenched tightly as if your body was caving in on itself, and tears streamed from your eyes as you wondered why he was hurting you like this?

"ANSWER THE QUESTION! DID YOU LOVE HER?" You demanded, your voice trembling as you begged for an answer, "DID YOU LOVE US?"

Diego looked at you silently, tears pricking his eyes, and the words he wanted to say caught in his throat. Of course, he loved her. He loved both of you. For so long, you two were his entire world. But he couldn't acknowledge Eudora. If he did it made her loss real. It made her death final. Even if he tried, he would never be able to forget her because you were so much like her. The way you cared for others, the way your face scrunched when you were upset, the joyful light in your eyes as you looked at him, and your resilience when things got tough. All these little quirks you had were glimpses of her. Looking at you was like looking at the last piece he had of her. It had been years for you, but it had only been three months for him. He couldn't do it. 

"(Y/N)- I-..." He tried to speak, his voice stuttering

But it was too late. He took too long to answer. And to you, that meant only one thing, he never actually loved you or Eudora. He never cared. All the things that he did, all of those moments of kindness were in search of admiration, not love. When you looked at him now, there was pain, and there was anger, but most of all there was resentment. You resented the fact that all these years, all those moments that you thought were genuine, were all just for a stupid ego boost. Your happiness never meant anything to him. And just like that your mood swung again, and your emotions disappeared. You felt nothing. You felt empty. You looked at Diego, with eyes that no longer had light in them and quietly stated,

"I'm glad she doesn't remember who I am because at least it means that she never knew you either."

Your words hit Diego like a ton of bricks. Not only because of how they impacted them but also because of the weight of what you meant. If she didn't remember you, that meant she was here. It meant she was alive. 

"She's alive? You saw her?" Diego asked sincerely

You didn't understand why he cared now? Now that she was possibly alive he wanted to acknowledge Eudora? What a selfish fucking prick. 

"I'm not going to tell you because you don't deserve to know her anymore. What I will tell you is that she loved you so much, but time and time again you choose to stroke your massive ego and play hero to others over the people already around you. And I know now that I'm not worth being around for when you have the amazing opportunity to play hero for these two."

"(Y/N), it's not like that." Diego responded

It was at this moment, knowing what Lila knew now, that everything finally clicked together, and she felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. As you had said, it was never about her or what she did. Except for trying to kill you and Five, but that wasn't the point. You had shouted that your parents were dead and that Diego raised you and she could assume that by extension this Eudora did too. Wasn't too hard to conclude that Diego had replaced your dad, and Eudora had replaced your mom. It was, mostly, never what she did that upset you so much, it was what she represented. Like your mini-Diego-looking friend said, she was a homewrecker, Diego was a traitor and they both were adulterers. He said those things because that's how you viewed the situation. You weren't a sister upset that her brother got a new girlfriend, you were a child watching their parent replace the other one. It was no wonder Diego was doing a relatively decent job with Stan, he had already done it before. With you.

However, you didn't want to hear what Diego had to say. You were done with him. Completely. In totality. Forever.

"You don't need to explain, because I don't need you anymore." You spat "I actually don't need anything from you anymore."

Pulling all the knives off your body, you tossed them to the ground in front of Diego. You had your powers, you didn't need some stupid knives to fight with. They didn't mean anything to you anymore. They were just worthless metal to you.

But to Diego, this was salt in the wound. These knives were gifts given to commemorate celebrations or important events. Birthdays, winning your first boxing match, getting your license, etc. These were the physical embodiment of his proudest days of you. Why? Why were you tossing them back?

"(Y/N), no..." Diego begged

"Go on, give them to Stan since he's the one you care about. I promise I won't get in the way of your happy little family ever again." You explained in a sarcastically cheerful tone before flatly stating "From now on, I only ever had one brother, and he died trying to keep me safe."

Hearing those words, Diego became paralyzed. It felt like time had stopped moving but that certainly wasn't true. Everything happened so fast and he didn't know how he got to this point. What had he done to cause this outcome? How many times had he unintentionally hurt you that now you wanted nothing to do with him? At that moment, it felt like a large part of him died because he didn't just lose you, he lost Eudora. The light In your eyes that you both shared when you looked at him was gone. How could he have let this happen?

Lila looked between you and Diego. He looked so broken...so defeated. She never wanted this for Diego. She might've disagreed with you, but she loved Diego and Diego loved you. Part of her felt like this was her fault, even if you said it wasn't. You were just a scared, hurt child looking for love, and whatever you were looking for you didn't get. And now, to you, all your parents were dead. In a way, Lila could relate. When she had lost her parents and was taken in by The Handler all she wanted was to know she was loved. But like her, you didn't get it, and now you were lost. Maybe there was a reason why these people loved you. Maybe she had misjudged you this whole time. Maybe you two were more similar than you were different. 

You however couldn't stand to be here anymore. This place felt heavy like an inescapable weight was crushing you. It was suffocating being in a place with so much misery. You needed to leave. Grabbing Dean's keys from the floor and summoning Viktoria's phone to your hand, you turned without saying a word and began to head to the front door. 

 Mimicking Five's powers, Lila jumped over to you and grabbed your wrist to stop you. Looking back, you expected to see your boyfriend but were surprised to see it was Lila who had stopped you.

"Where are you going?" Lila asked "The world is ending and you're a bloody mess. Literally."

"Why do you care?" You replied, "I thought you wanted me dead."

Right. Lila may have realized that your hatred was misplaced, but you had not realized that hers was as well. She was gonna have to work on that. 

Phasing your wrist through her grasp, you tried to walk away once more. You need to get away from this place. Away from Diego. Away from the Umbrella Academy and the end of the world. You weren't a hero. You were never meant to be a hero. Saving the world was never supposed to be your responsibility. 

You needed space, but the Hargreeves knew they needed you for this. Trying to get you to stop and reconsider Luther blurted out,

"What about the Kugelblitz? We need you to help figure out all the-the- y'know- your powers and stuff. We're family!"

Hearing that word you stopped in place. Family. How dare he use that word like some type of "gotcha". That word was supposed to mean something, and it did mean something to you. It meant so much more than just the definition in the book. It was a representation of all the people you had loved. All the people who you lived and fought for. All the people who had loved you to their dying breath. All the people who were now gone forever. To treat that word like a quid-pro-quo was like a slap in the face. You seethed at his negligence and slowly turned on your heel to face the Umbrella Academy.

"Family?" You questioned angrily "You use that word so frivolously. What do you know about family? What do ANY of you know about family?"

"I don't think I understand the question." Luther replied

"Of course you don't. Because you're all selfish, stunted, pathetic adults." You remarked spitefully "You don't view me as family. You guys only use the word family when you need something."

"That's not true. We're a family." Viktor retorted

"No you're not. You are a group of people who share a last name." You spat "You wouldn't know the first thing about family if it manifested as an entity and punched you in your fucking faces."

"(Y/N), you don't mean that..." Diego pleaded

God you were sick of these people! You said what you said and you meant it. They had no clue about what it meant to be a family. They had no respect for each other. They only ever came together to help each other when it was too late. You sacrificed everything for these people and none of them would do the same. They found out your parents died and they didn't care. They watched you struggle on the ground, bleeding and screaming, and they didn't step up. They saw all your friends vanish and offered no condolences. If you were in their shoes you would already been trying to help them, but they didn't care to do the same. You were done with them. Going on a tirade, you shouted,

"I DO! I treated you like family! I lost my parents, and friends, and the lives I built trying to help you all because I cared for you! I LOVED you! And besides my fucking boyfriend, who is the only one here who seems to care, none of you would do the same for me! The only one of you who ever genuinely treated me like family was Ben. And he's gone! I've lost EVERYTHING! I have NO FRIENDS! NO FAMILY! NO HOME! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULTS! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"

A heavy silence fell over the group as you caught your breath from yelling so much. To Allison, she didn't care much for your anger, you had no interest in finding her daughter so why should she care for your parents or friends? For Diego, this only worsened the heartbreak he already felt. He had failed you. And for Luther and Viktor, they felt like kids again, this aching feeling reminiscent of the day they realized you had disappeared along with Five. Their first friend, the first person who loved them for who they were, was lost again.

And then there was Five whose guilt had no bounds. He felt terrible seeing how upset you were, shameful that he couldn't prevent or change the events that led to this moment. The amount of pain you were going through was probably unimaginable, and even though you singled him out and separated him from his siblings as the only person who cared, he still felt guilty for his impact on your life. You had told him multiple times since he returned to you that you didn't blame him, but in a way, he was still the catalyst. That original time jump may have been an accident, but its impacts were very much real. You had put helping others first for so long that you never asked for help yourself. He wished he knew how to fix this. He had to find a way. 

Turning on your heel once more, you started to make your way to the doors again. You were getting out of here and nothing was going to stop you this time. Except that's never how it goes, does it? Immediately as you started walking away you felt a minor molecular disturbance behind you and someone gently take your hand. You knew who it was. It was the only person who could break your conviction. The only person who could make you want to stay. Slowly, you turned around to look at Five. His green eyes filled with sadness and concern as he looked over you. 

"Baby, please don't go." Five begged

God, why did he have to do this? Your heart ached looking at him. You never wanted your life with him to be like this. To be one filled with trials and tribulations. When you got real moments together everything was so beautiful, the world felt brighter, and your heart felt light. Why couldn't you just run away with him? Forget the world, cope with the pain of the kugel waves, and spend your last days together. Why did life have to be this way? Why couldn't you two just be happy? tears welled in your eyes once more as your strong composure quickly faltered.

"I can't do this..." you whispered, trying not to cry

"And I can't let you go..." Five replied desperately

"Th-that's not fair." You rebuked stuttering over your words "I-I let you go when I didn't want you to."

Five grasped your hand tighter. You were right, just a few days ago you were in his place begging him not to go, but let him anyway. He'd be a hypocrite to not let you do the same, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. Looking you over, you were injured, bloodied, covered in gauze that was slowly turning red, and he knew for a fact you were not in a rational headspace. He couldn't blame you for any of it, the circumstances leading to this were out of your control, but his head was screaming at him to hold onto you. 

"What if something happens?" Five questioned concerned "Another kugel wave and I'm not there to help you? What if you-"

Five stopped. He couldn't get the words out. He shut his eyes tightly as he tried to push the thought out of his mind, but it was haunting. He lost you once before, he wouldn't survive if it happened again.

Five's grip on your hand tightened even more and you could feel the way his hand trembled as it held yours. You held his hand tighter and with your other hand, you reached up and gently ran it through his hair pushing it out of his face before resting it on his cheek. Your thumb gently brushed back and forth against his skin. You watched as he leaned into your touch more, even if most of what he felt was the gauze on your hand. You hated seeing him so upset. Back and forth your brain fought between doing what would make you feel better and doing what would make him feel better. That was the issue with loving someone so deeply, so desperately, you could never stop thinking of them. Five was a constant thought in your mind and loving him was like breathing air. But this hotel, these people, it was suffocating you. Your head wasn't in a good space, but you knew you couldn't do both right now. You couldn't take care of yourself and Five. It was one or the other and you had to make a decision. Gently, you brought his face closer to yours and pressed your forehead against his.

 "I need time, Five..." You whispered

"We don't have that." Five mumbled

"We never do." You quietly replied "But I still need it. I need to go."

Opening his eyes, Five saw the way you looked at him. Your gaze was gentle and sincere. Even through the chaos of your emotions, he knew that you still loved him. He could see it all over your face. And yet, that made him want to hold on tighter. Letting go of your hand, he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you close. 

Resting your head on his shoulder you let out a sigh. You felt like your heart was breaking and part of you started thinking that maybe you should put up with his siblings and stay. But then you thought again, and you knew that if you didn't get the space to clear your head then you wouldn't be able to do anything going forward. It pained you but you needed your space. You had to go. Lifting your head, you looked at Five once more.

"Please don't make me use my powers." You pleaded, tears falling from your eyes "Don't force me to slip away."

Five had no choice. He had to let you go because no matter what you were going to leave. It was what you wanted. All that was up to him was if it was going to be amicably or regretfully. Loosening his hold on you, Five sighed,

"Okay..."

You took a step back out of Five's arms. It was a bittersweet feeling. You didn't want to leave him, but you appreciated that he respected your wishes. Yes, you were forcing his hand slightly, but it did still show he cared. You wanted to give him something though, something that could perhaps ease the worry you knew he was feeling. Summoning the sharpie you saw Lucas put down earlier, you popped the cap off before gently pushing up the sleeve of Five's jacket and shirt. On his arm, you wrote down the number to Viktoria's cell phone, which you now carried on you, adding a little heart after the final number. Putting the cap back on the marker, you placed it into his jacket pocket. Looking up at him you explained,

"If it's an emergency, if you really need me, call this number and I'll be back as soon as I can."

Part of him worried that this was the last time he'd see you. That he was making a huge mistake. But he loved you and he knew you loved him. You had always managed to find your way back to each other so he had to trust that you'd come back again. Taking your face in his hands, he kissed you desperately, like it was the last kiss you'd ever share. If you were leaving his side then he needed you to feel how much he loved you. But he had to trust that this wasn't the last time. He had to believe that his lips would meet yours again.

You pressed your lips firmly back against Five's, the tears you had cried making the kiss salty. Your heart didn't want to leave him, but your head knew that you wouldn't be able to help him going forward if you didn't. It wasn't pleasant, but you swore once your head was clear, you'd come straight back here and into his arms. It felt like hell, but you gathered the strength to pull away. 

"I love you." You stated sincerely

"I love you too." Five quietly replied

And with that, you gave him one more kiss on the cheek before turning and walking to the doors. As you got to the revolving door though, you stopped and looked back at him to make sure he was still there. You loved him too much not to. You saw as he looked back at you and quietly mouthed the word go. With a small nod, you looked ahead and walked out the door of the Hotel Obsidian.

[aziraphales-library]

Ello Ello Ello :D

Would you happen to have a Human AU fic where Aziraphale has an toxic relationship with his family and it is well explored? Bonus points if Crowley and Aziraphale are long date friends.

Thank you so much for your work <3333

Hi. We have some fics where Aziraphale's family aren't great here. Here are more to add...

Against All Odds by GroovyNightStrawberry (E)

How can you just walk away from me? When all I can do is watch you leave 'Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all Az is eleven, and his world is falling apart. His best friend is walking away from him, and Az can't find a way to make him stay. Thirty-five years later, there's a familiar face at Aziraphale's new job, and it threatens to break his heart all over again. Can they do it better this time?

Ships in the Night by tishae (G)

Aziraphale did not want to head home for Christmas. Spending the entirety of the holidays with his Mother and siblings seemed, if you asked him, like a special version of Hell carved out just for him. Making up a boyfriend that he was spending the season with seemed like a perfect excuse (and no, he wasn't going to think too hard about why he had provided Crowley's name), until his Mother had insisted they should both come. "It'd be great to meet him!" Aziraphale had no idea how he was going to explain this to the coffee shop owner he'd had a crush on for the last two years, much less convince him to take part, but he was about to find out. or It's Christmas time, and our ineffable idiots are faking a relationship while definitely not being totally, completely head over heels for each other.

The Fall (Edition) by Thinkinginscripts (M)

Anthony J Crowley, former face of Burberry, fashion editor of Hell Magazine, arbiter of cool, found himself perched at a small antique card table at the back of a cluttered bookshop, looking down at a tea pot and porcelain cups, milk jug and sugar bowl as if they were alien artefacts. Or Azir's family, of sound military stock, treated feelings a little like illnesses. They could be prevented, cured, but were certainly not to be shared. Or A human AU about what happens when a photoshoot in an atmospheric bookshop puts two men from different worlds together, and how long it takes them to bumble through the embarrassment of talking about Feelings (20+ chapters, it turns out).

Rain Fall by mageofthepeople (E)

A human, Victorian AU. Anthony Crowley and Azra Fell meet and fall in love and into a two year relationship while Az finishes university. When they are set to finally escape to the continent, they are separated for three years and neither of them are completely sure what happened to cause the split. When they accidentally run into one another, they find they can't move forward until they figure out what happened in their past.

Plus One by Caedmon (E)

Aziraphale Eastgate’s wealthy family have finally come to tolerate the fact that he’s gay in the last couple of years. However, to their mind, he’s in his mid-thirties and should be settling down with someone… acceptable. So Aziraphale tells them he has a boyfriend whom they haven’t met -and doesn't exist. Now his older brother is getting married, and Aziraphale has been given a plus one. They're expecting to meet his imaginary boyfriend, so he’s got to find a date. Fast. He takes his problem to his best friend, Fergus, who suggests his mechanic, Crowley. Much to Aziraphale's surprise, the gorgeous (and likely straight) mechanic agrees to go to the Tadfield Estate for the whole five-day event. Simple, right? Well...

The False and the Fair by Princip1914 (E)

Growing up in the shadow of West Virginia’s Eden Mountain, Aziraphale Wright always expected to work for the family coal mining company. Anthony Crowley, the son of a down-and-out miner, was going to become a pilot and leave town forever. Now, thirty years later, neither of their lives have gone as planned, and an unexpected inheritance brings them back into one another’s orbit. Aziraphale hopes that they can move beyond their shared past, and a high school arrangement that ended in disaster, but he has secrets of his own that threaten their fragile reconnection… Finished, July 2021. This fic will occasionally be archive locked (I put all my E rated work behind a lock at various times due to personal reasons) but please don’t let that put you off reading it!

- Mod D

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fanfic)

Chapter 4

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader

Warnings: None. Slightly mature language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

…………………………..

Jude let go of her hands, which fell in her lap, and took two steps back to look at her. The mood needed some lightening up.

‘Look at you, shooting me down two nights in a row. One would think I played for Barca, not Madrid.’

This made her look back at him. His silliness made her smile, she couldn’t help herself.

‘There is no way I would be sitting in your kitchen if that were the case.’

‘Finally, the sass is back. Hallelujah!’

He mimicked his celebration, with his hands raised, quite proud of himself in the moment.

She tried kicking his knee to wipe that smirk off his face but he dodged just in time, both laughing by now.

‘Let’s get some food in you. And more wine, definitely more wine. Then we will talk.’

They moved to the living room couch with their dinner and drinks, and settled on watching an episode of Friends. Both knew the show by heart and it served as the perfect distraction. The food was lovely too. White sauce pasta was her ultimate comfort food - she had no idea how he chose this or if it was just something his cook decided to make.

But what helped the most was the wine. It tasted like little drops of heaven. She knew it would be some fancy ass bottle she won’t even be able to pronounce so she didn’t even bother checking the name.

It had started raining by then, she could see the downpour through the French windows facing the backyard. And in Madrid, when it rained, it poured.

While she was looking outside, he cleared the empty plates and came back to the couch with re-filled glasses.

‘Agnes will drop you back later, don’t worry. He’s awesome at driving.’

She turned around and thanked him with a genuine smile, taking the glass from his outstretched hand.

‘Now, tell me, why so intent on shooting me down?’

He tilted his head towards her, patiently waiting for a response. Ananya looked down wryly, while her fingers played with the fabric of the couch.

‘It’s not something I set out to do. But, you and me, we are so different. Don’t you think?’

‘Why do you think so?’

‘Isn’t it obvious? Our jobs, our worlds, our lives, our circles, our priorities - every damn thing is different. There is nothing in common.’

‘Or we are two young, lively, ambitious people, enjoying life in a new city while still being connected to our families back home. That’s how I see it.’

She shook her head in frustration.

‘C’monn, Jude. I am sure you can see my point. You can see what I mean.’

He scanned her face for a few seconds, before conceding.

‘Alright, cool. Yes, we are different. Why is that such a bad thing though? Don’t opposites attract?’

‘Only in movies. And novels. Not in real life. Practicality always wins in real life.’

‘Don’t believe in romance then? In love and fairy tales?’

‘Romance, yes. Love, yes. But not in fairy tales. Not in Price Charming or a White Knight. Not in some star crossed lovers kinda story.’

‘That’s too much scepticism for a 20 year old, y’know.’

She just shrugged in response. He wondered if there was a story behind it. If something, someone rather, made her feel this way. But that thought was so unpleasant that he quickly snapped out of it. Conversation for another time.

‘Ok, let’s stick to practicality then. Let’s break it down. Why can’t we give this a try and see where it goes? Why do we have to think 50 steps ahead on day 1?

‘Define giving it a try.’

‘Dating.’

‘And what would that entail?’

He had been leaning against the back of the couch but sat upright then, and looked at her quizzically.

‘You are asking me what dating entails?’

‘No. I am asking what dating you entails. Would it mean going to your matches, going out in the city with you, to be clicked in public with you? Yeah?’

‘Well, yeah, I guess.’

She sighed, and he put his glass on the table, utterly confused now. When she spoke next, her voice was small but firm.

‘The thing is, just the thought of that, of so many eyes on me is nauseating. It makes me want to run. I can’t handle the pressure of being in the public eye like that. Of being under constant scrutiny. The media will dig out every photo, every text, every said and unsaid thing. And not just that, the fans Jude. Some of your fan girls will absolutely detest my existence, for not being deserving in their eye of the most sought after guy in all of Europe maybe. And I live here, right in the epicentre of all this. It won’t just be virtual. It will be everywhere around me.’

Ananya took a big sip from her glass, almost gulping down the remaining half in one go. While he sat still, trying to process everything she was saying. She continued immediately after.

‘Also, who’s gonna take me seriously at work then? Do you know how hard it is to get into investment banking? There are so few women who graduate to leadership roles in this field - the glass ceiling is present and real. And I am just starting out. I worked my ass off to get here. But they will all just look at me as your…, as some kind of floozy..’

He didn’t let her finish. Jude grabbed both her hands, held them together between his and squeezed firmly.

‘Shhhhhhhh, calm down, calm down babe. I hear you.’

She breathed heavily, gradually opening her eyes as he kept making shushing noises in the meantime.

His eyes were kind and sincere, seeking hers. She nearly got pulled into them but managed to regain her balance. He spoke softly, with understanding.

‘It’s not that bad for some guys, y’know. Tony was telling me how Jessica has pretty much been able to do her own thing here, without much glare. Same for quite a few other guys.’

‘Jude, they are not you. And please don’t make me explain what that means, you already know it.’

Yes, he knew what she meant. She could see it with the resignation in his eyes.

It was his turn to look away to compose himself. She couldn’t resist admiring his face from so close, as he was lost in thought.

‘How about this - we don’t tell anyone. No one. Just you and me. We meet either here or at your place. I will find a way to get there without being seen. No media. No fans. No pictures. No drama. No pressure. Till we are ready. Till you are ready.’

His eyes had changed shade again, filled with resolve now.

She considered every word and replayed it over in her head.

‘That’s not ideal for you, though, is it?’

‘Maybe it is. The media finds enough fodder to rip apart my life and my family’s as it is, let’s not give them more juice. It could be a good thing dove, seriously.’

She scanned his face to see if he really meant what he said. When she couldn’t find any evidence to the contrary, she let out a little sigh.

‘You are sweet.’

‘You are pretty.’

His instant response threw her off-guard. The look of surprise on her face and her failed attempt to speak was deeply amusing to him. Along with the little blush that was starting to creep up at the top of her cheeks.

She pulled out her hands from his hold, gathered herself and tried to look admonishing. He just laughed at her response and flashed her his biggest smile, all 32 teeth visible.

Ananya was convinced he was just trying to distract her from the conversation. The darned thing was, it was working.

‘Can you please be serious, Jude?’

‘I say it as I see it.’

He retorted, meeting the challenge in her voice.

Just then, his phone rang loudly and they both jumped from the suddenness of it. He looked at the phone, then looked at her indecisively.

‘Umm, it’s my Mum.’

‘Go talk to her, she must be calling about the match. What are you waiting for?’

He beamed happily at her, almost thanking her for understanding. Then quickly answered the phone, moving to the next room. She could see him through the glass windows, walking up and down, practically skipping with joy while discussing the match with his mom.

It was such a sweet moment. He looked like a 5 year old little boy telling his mom he came first in a school race. The love was practically radiating from his being.

She smiled, then busied herself with her phone. Giving them their privacy.

Her insta was filled with messages of shock, awe and jealousy of them getting to watch the Classico live. She chuckled and scrolled through all, reminding herself to respond later.

Roma had sent her a few messages too, asking her how it was going. And throwing in some deeply suggestive comments in between. Ananya could tell her friend was drunk. If only she knew what was really happening here, she would probably murder her.

What was really happening here? She was ruining what was probably the best day of his life yet by discussing her complicated thoughts. He could have been celebrating with his teammates right now, or with anyone else. He deserved to have the moon tonight, not what they were doing.

Guilt set in and she kicked herself for coming over in the first place. He would have been upset but surely he would have found ways to get over it quickly.

The constant pattering of rain outside served as a good distraction. She walked over to the French windows and settled down on the comfy floor seating. The cushions were cozy and the throw was soft; she pulled it up till her waist and shut her eyes for a bit.

She still hadn’t told him the other piece of her hesitation. It was a trickier conversation - she didn’t know how to articulate it, or if she even wanted to. She didn’t know how he would react to such vulnerable admissions. Tonight was so not the night, such horrible timing.

Just then, she heard half-frantic footsteps in the background and moments later she saw him turn the corner.

‘There you are. Thought you ran away without telling me.’

She elbowed his side lightly as he settled down next to her on the floor seating, leaning against the cushions.

‘You think I would do that?.’

‘Been trying to run since yesterday. Don’t trust you yet.’

They were side by side, facing the windows but turned slightly towards each other. Ananya chose to not address the last comment.

‘How was the call? She must have been happy.’

There was the little boy again, smiling from ear to ear, radiating such affection for his mom that it made her heart flutter.

‘She was over the moon. But she’s always like that - twice as happy as me for anything I do. Same with Jobe. She’s just a bundle of love.’

This was just cheating at this point. How was she supposed to resist him like this? But she had to get it off her chest, before it was too late. Before something happens that she can’t go back on.

His eyes turned yet another shade, intense. She could feel them roaming over her now.

‘Listen, about earlier.’

‘Oh yes. Sorry for the interruption. You said there was something else. Tell me.’

Her fingers dug into the cushion as she struggled to articulate this sensitive topic. He watched her movements closely, letting her take his time.

‘I came out of a serious relationship, in fact the only relationship I have been in, about 6 months ago. It was hard, coz I thought that person was THE person I will end up with. He said all the right things, did all the right things but eventually when it came to it, he didn’t have it in him to fight for us enough.’

Jude grabbed a nearby cushion too, resisting the urge to bite on it or rip it open. He could tell her scepticism had a story behind it and this seemed to be that.

‘Not gonna bore you with more about that. But long story short, the idea of being with someone is a bit daunting for me right now. A lot of my fundamental beliefs have been shaken, including my ability to trust in my instincts, which I thought I was good at. I am still trying to piece myself back together block by block. That was another reason to pick Madrid - a complete change of environment. I am not…as in I don’t have any feelings for him anymore but it’s myself that I am trying to understand better. Not sure if that makes sense but that’s what it is. ‘

Just my luck, he thought. The cushion was living on borrowed life in his hands at this point but Jude was proud of the way he had kept his face calm and neutral.

‘Thank you for sharing this with me, couldn’t have been easy. Look, I get it. Coming out of a long relationship can be hard. I have also been in one. Though, I don’t think I was ready for it at the time and I can’t claim to have been a good boyfriend either. But we all learn and grow from our experiences, right? Can’t stop trusting our instincts. Think of it this way - you knew all this yet you are here tonight. Something pulled you towards me. Don’t let your brain deny that.’

Well, she wasn’t denying the pull she felt towards him. She was trying to make sense of it with him. But he still hadn’t gotten the full picture. She needed to spell it out crudely so he really gets it.

Ananya looked straight at him for this - so she could see his reaction closely.

‘Jude - I don’t think I am ready for anything physical. And I don’t know when I will be ready. Or if I will be ready. That’s what I have been trying to tell you.’

She watched the realisation dawn on his face then. Well, finally, she thought. When he didn’t speak for the next 30 seconds, she chimed in again.

‘Look - I know this is atypical and I know this won’t work for you. I get it. We can look at last two days as a different experience and just call it a night. It’s absolutely fine.’

His head shot up at her, and his tone was sharp, for the first time tonight.

‘Sorry - what do you mean you KNOW this won’t work for me?’

‘Because it won’t work for most people in your position.’

She said calmly, trying to keep an even tone.

‘IN MY POSITION? You mean a footballer right? And you know this how? Let me guess - media, social media and gossip pages, correct?’

‘Jude, I..’

‘Tell me this - have I done ANYTHING in the last two days to make you uncomfortable? Did I push you, touch you or even look at you when you didn’t want me to?

‘Please don’t say that. You haven’t. That’s not what I..’

‘Then why, why did you of all people assume I was some sex-crazed animal who is only interested in fucking anyone with….’

She crossed the distance between them, kneeled in front of him and covered his mouth with her hand.

‘Stop, please stop. I am sorry. That’s not what I meant. And yes, I shouldn’t have drawn any conclusions from the media. You are right. Pls I beg you, just calm down. I am so so sorry.’

She could feel his heavy breathing on her hand, but atleast he didn’t push her away. The fight drained out from his eyes slowly, replaced with hurt. Which killed her even more. She moved her hands to his shoulders, gently stroking both.

He spoke in a small voice then, the twinkle lost from his eyes.

‘What did you mean then, if not all that?’

‘I meant that, someone like you, who has the world at his feet right now, who has enough high stakes as it is in his day job, why would such a person want this kind of a restricted set-up? I am sure models, actresses and all such sexy women must be throwing themselves at you left, right and center. You could be with anyone you want to be with.’

He seemed to believe her explanation, from the way his shoulders relaxed and his expression softened.

‘Clearly, not anyone.’

He pointed in her direction. When she didn’t say anything, he reached for her hands lying on his shoulders. And gently, fleetingly brushed his lips on the back of both.

She gasped & shut her eyes, willing herself to not melt. Failing miserably.

‘I believe I have the right to decide who I find sexy. And dove, you are the reason I struggled to sleep last night. Haven’t stopped thinking about you.’

Ananya wanted to hide from his gaze which was burning her even with her eyes closed. But she was transfixed.

‘Plus you are smart, a little lippy, highly opinionated, well-read, brave, vulnerable, honest and so so real. Gosh, I love that about you.’

He requested her to look at him. She obliged.

‘I would take you right now if you were in the same headspace. God knows I have thought about it. But, if taking things slow is what you need and the alternative is you walking out that door forever, then let’s go at a turtle pace. Can’t let go of you.’

He pulled them both up to their feet, standing a few inches away from each other.

Then, he opened his arms for her, inviting her in. She looked between his arms and his face which had an expectant smile, then back to his open arms.

‘Come here, come to me.’

Next second, she found herself against his chest. Strong arms wrapped around her in a gentle hold, pulling her further into his chest. While her hands went around his broad back, clutching at his jumper.

This wasn’t like anything she had ever felt before. His scent, his warmth, his breath, his presence fogged her mind and made her oblivious to everything else in the world.

Jude kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek against it. She bit her cheek to not let out a moan, but failed, making him smile.

‘Feeling what I am feeling?’

‘Yes.’

‘Will you give us a chance, then?’

‘You haven’t left me with a choice.’

‘Finally. Two wins in the same night, I am truly on a roll.’

She giggled against his chest at his silliness, and he followed suit. Feeling his laugh reverberate through his whole body was a feeling she couldn’t describe in words. It was something pure, something ethereal.

They swayed in each other’s arms for minutes, not wanting to let go. Not wanting to disturb the peace of the moment.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she grudgingly removed her cheek that was placed against his chest, and looked up at him.

‘It must be late. I should go now.’

‘If you want, you can take the guest bedroom. And leave in the morning whenever you want.’

‘I have some work in the morning, have to send out some stuff to the New York office.’

‘Agnes can pick up your laptop and bring it here.’

‘Jude - I really don’t think we should be under the same roof tonight.’

‘Don’t trust me?’

‘Don’t trust either of us right now, to be honest.’

He flashed her a mind-numbing smile.

‘Already can’t resist me? I knew it.’

‘Shut up and let me go.’

‘Five more minutes?’

‘Fine.’

She rested her cheek on his chest again, while his went on her head. His arms gently stroking her back, building a cocoon of comfort. They stayed like that for more than 5 mins.

……………………………………………

There you go - hope you are liking the story so far.

Feedback is very very welcome :)

[jkoo-njoo]

college crush - 5

summary: college au I when the frontier between a crush and an obsession blurs, how can you draw the line?

pairing: shy n clingy bf! jk × black fem! reader

genre: fluff, soft yandere | headcanons

word count: 4,300. on going story

warnings: physical violence ideation (Jungkook wants to slit someone’s throat), light mention of homophobia, description of comp-het, description of sexual violence because of acephobia (y/n is spiraling)

author's note: hi lovelies, it’s been a year since the last update, can you believe it ? I keep saying that there is only one last chapter left, but then I keep having more ideas and the story keeps expending ; so I’ll just stop saying that. ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა This chapter is a bit spicier than all the other ones, Jungkook is getting closer to his goal ! But is it really going to be as easy as he thinks it’ll be ? I truly hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it my loves. As always, I love reading your comments and I hope you know that it really hypes me up to beat writer’s block and finish this story ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

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5/ Wanting to fly the nest as far as he could, the bird aims for the sun, like Icarus, daring to rise to its death

— The bird, that just learned how to fly, soars with all his might

Its been two weeks now since you both started texting each other

At the beginning he was so nervous just thinking about directly speaking with you

He would overthink every single text he sent you for 20 minutes straight minimum

But the conversation started to flow very easily and chemistry began to develop between the two of you

It grew so much that you’ve been exchanging messages every single day with no fail, talking about any and every thing

On top of that, jungkook continued to send you gifts and come to your place while you’re not there

It added a special taste to know that whenever he would send you anything or clean your place or fill up your fridge

You would text him a few hours later to express gratitude and contentment

It filled his heart with pure joy and love for you even more now that he had your approval in real time

He didn’t need to constantly check your bins anymore

Jungkook felt his heartbeat rush and adrenaline spike up every single time you’d send him a message

It was truly heaven on earth

Now, for you… things were a bit different.

Sure, there was a cool situationship in the making

But it just wasn’t enough. you knew you needed more

You couldn’t just fall in love with a concept

You needed to put a face to it.

You decided to get bold today and proposed to arrange a date with your secret admirer

Yes this was a careless and rushed decision, whatever

But you were tired of playing it safe and decided to take matters into your own hands

Since your secret admirer wasn’t gonna be the one to do so

When jungkook received your advance he couldn’t believe his eyes and literally fell to his knees in the middle of the library

His ultimate crush was asking him out.

Asking him, out.

He knows that he’s been making a lot of efforts by talking directly to you everyday

(Even repeating that sentence in his head was making him feel dizzy)

But he couldn’t bring himself to actually reveal his whole identity to you just yet

So, he declines your offer by honestly revealing that he does not feel ready to face you at the moment

He wanted to pretend to be very sick and not wanting to contaminate you

But he absolutely loathed himself for even thinking about lying to you and betraying your trust in him

He still feels like shit because of his cowardliness

But he knows this is for the greater good of your relationship

Now, don’t get him wrong : he’s not near giving up.

The rest of his plan is waiting for the photography class partner project to unfold

But the thing is, their refusal disheartened you a bit

You thought everything was going so well between you ?

Why do they chicken out all of a sudden when it’s time to make things concrete between you ?

Are they very shy ?

Are they very ugly ?

Or are they an actual creepy serial killer that is not supposed to be on this campus ?

You tried to reassure them by stating that you’re sure that they’re a total hottie

And that there’s no reason for them to be shy with you anymore

However, your excitement started to wear off a bit, unbeknownst to Jungkook.

— The bird, finally resting for the first time in a while, inopportunely falls from a breaking branch

The following week on a tuesday, it finally arrives

The group project in photography class. the most crucial event for the rest of The Plan ™️

He tried hard to make a good first impression with his outfit

He wore a hoodie in your favorite color, slim jeans to reveal his thighs (because he overheard you talking about liking strong legs in guys) and black boots to appear more “hard” & “cool” (that’s also your type it seems)

You were wearing a very pretty light dress with some oversized pants and an oversized jacket to top it all

You were so outstandingly beautiful and cool, he just couldn’t compete with you even if he tried

The professor came in at the same time as you (you made it in time today he notes) and started the class directly by talking about the group project

But instead of a duo, like he imagined, the project will be in a quatuor with 2 boys and 2 girls

AND he already made the groups so no one could choose

The room audibly moaned and complained while he remained silent but his blood was boiling

He could not be more confused, angry and disappointed.

While the professor was calling the members of every groups out loud, he prayed to all the Gods and angels listening to please let him be with you

Even if there will be others he absolutely needed to be by your side.

He couldn’t bear leaving you all alone with two random men and no one to protect you

It seems one of the holy spirits heard his desperate pleading and answered immediately

Because the professor called his name right after yours

He doesn’t have the time to digest what just happened because the professor is already rushing everyone to gather in groups and introduce themselves

While everyone rearrange the tables and sit again, he succeeds in sitting in front of you

But he can hardly handle to look into your eyes from this close without fainting

This is the nearest he has ever been to you in real life and it truly feels like a dream come true

He can actually admire you from up close… he can smell you… he can almost touch your hand if he tries… and he wasn’t hiding from you anymore

It felt so right and natural to be in your space and bask in your presence

He was fully floating on a cloud focusing on nothing else but you and your voice

The rest of the class goes pretty smoothly with everyone introducing themselves and giving their inquiry about the project

Though he sat there in silence the entire time

While the only thing he mustered up enough courage to say was :

“Hi, my name is Jungkook. Nice to meet you all”

He was way too shy at the idea of talking to you viva voce in this context

He could try talking with you one-on-one if the project was a duo, like he planned.

But with two other strangers nearby watching and judging ?

Hell no, that was just too much all at once

Nevertheless, he does not regret witnessing you being the absolute brightest star right in front of him, even in silence

You were so full of life, energy and motivation for this project that it was actually hyping him up

Even though he really didn’t give a fuck about it in the first place

But it seems he wasn’t the only person entranced by you

Because why was this other guy clearly trying to flirt with you right in front of everyone ?

Thankfully it seems like you’ve got no clue and you’re not playing into his games at all

But Jungkook has to deal with him.

He wanted to just slit his throat so bad right then and there, without any hesitation.

But he knows he cannot show this side of himself to you just yet, and definitely not in the middle of this class

He’s gonna get rid of him definitely without scaring you off

No other boy has the right to have access to you other than him

You were his soulmate and his only.

He promised to himself to make this punk get it as soon as possible

At the end of the hour, this fucker has the audacity to ask for your number, and only yours

“it’s to talk about the project more in depth, you know !”

The holy spirits truly were by his sides today, because you suggested to have a group chat instead

“it’s to make the conversation about the project more efficient, you know !”

Everyone gives you their number and you create the groupchat right away before you all part ways

The walk home from this session at the photography class was the worst one he’s had in a while

He couldn’t even bask in the feelings of pure joy, love and excitement he has felt by being this close to you

He even gave you his real number for you to text the real him !

That was supposed to be one of the best moments of his life, right before :

your first kiss,

your marriage,

and your first child together.

But instead, he simply felt like absolute shit for witnessing a man blatantly flirting with his promised partner right in front of his face

And not doing anything to stop it and protect you.

He knows he can always count on you to preserve yourself for him and him only

But it certainly won’t last long if he doesn’t do anything

He feels really powerless and he does not like it one bit

He has to reverse the situation to promptly get rid of this parasite and secure his place in your heart

— The heavily weakened bird serendipitously finds some food on the ground

The thing is, he was so focused on his feelings for you and that other douchebag that he did not even notice everything else that happened outside of that

Like the fact that the other girl of the group was clearly trying to hit on him too

but he was so oblivious he only responded to her with vague hmms indicating yes or no

Or the fact that his charm and his silence intrigued you the most and you definitely wanted to spend more time with him to break his shell

Like, he was seriously one of the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen.

The way his long hair and square glasses perfectly framed his angelic face

The way he was not able to say a single word during the entire hour

And the way he blushed + looked away shyly any time anyone glanced for a little too long at him……

His cuteness already caught your eye before but this meeting solidified your crush for him even more

He was effortlessly checking every box of your ideal type one by one, it was not even funny

So much so that you started to wonder if it was worth entertaining a situationship with a potentially dangerous secret admirer

That is not even bold enough to show their face despite claiming to be deeply in love with you

Rather than shooting your shot with the cute nerdy guy from photography class

That is a very real person within reach, even if there is no certitude that he’s interested in you in the slightest

It was starting to hurt your head to think this much about all this

so you decided to open up to your secret admirer

Hoping to wake them up, for good.

After closing the door to his room, Jungkook received a very lengthy message from you where you disclosed all your doubts about him and your relationship

That’s when he truly lost it and started to sob uncontrollably

He realized that he was seriously on the verge of actually losing you for good

After all the hard work he has done to get to this point

He was inconsolable and cried in a ball on the ground for a good ten minutes

After calming down a bit, he realized that you were giving him the opportunity to officially deepen the connection between you

This was his last chance to truly secure his way to your heart, and you were the one giving it to him

He simply did not deserve the pure kindness of your soul and you still gave it to him

He made the very important decision on the spot to bend The Plan™️

You wanted to know more of his identity ? so be it.

He answered :

“My sweetest love. Thank you for trusting me and pushing for me to still be in your life after I’ve been such a coward. I do not deserve your grace, but I will prove to you by all means that my love for you is infaillible. From now on, you will receive pictures from me about myself and my daily life, and even audios of me directly reading my poems to you, if you feel comfortable with that. I will do my best to get you to know me on a more personal level, so you can realize that I am the perfect pretender to be your lifelong partner and that we are meant to be together forever. But know that at the moment, I still can’t reveal my whole identity to you, whether it be my face or my name, because of personal reasons you will soon understand. Please tell me if this satisfies your needs for now, and I will begin immediately.”

He knew he would have to push through a lot of boundaries within himself to uphold these promises

But he was willing to do absolutely anything for you, your love and your happiness

And to be by your sides

When you received their answer, you got reminded why you loved talking to your secret admirer so much

They were so dramatic sometimes, it was really funny and relieved your stress more often than not

You couldn’t do anything but accept their request without a second thought when it was presented in such a classy and solemn way

It was not exactly what you asked for, but you respected their decision and noted their efforts to try and meet your request still

You did not really pay more attention to it and move on with your life

Until you almost choked to death on your tea 10 minutes later

Since they said that they will not be showing their face, you thought they would exclusively send you innocent pictures of their daily life and stuff

How naive of you to think that.

After opening your phone notification you couldn’t help but stare at your screen, eyes wide open, with your eyebrows touching the ceiling

Instead of a candid still of some food on a plate like you expected

You were met with the mirror picture of a literal greek god with a full sleeve of tattoos, right out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel on their head and another one hanging low on their waist

They followed up on the pic with the wittiest text you’ve ever read from them

“You’re such a lucky princess because I just started my night routine. I’ve been itching to send you pictures like these for so long but I had to make sure the timing was right. I cannot wait to include you in my daily life. Do you want me to do a tour of all the skin care products I use to take care of the body you’re looking at ?”

“Oh, and my pronouns are he/him by the way ;)”

There is no way he’s not fucking with you right now. Absolutely no way.

You’ve been gawking at your phone with your mouth agape for so long, you did not notice the trail of saliva connecting your lips to your thighs.

He even has the time to send you another message apologizing if he made you uncomfortable with his naked body and promising to never cross your boundaries ever again

And that from now on he’ll only send you pictures of him fully clothed, even if it might compromise his anonymity

You collect yourself just enough to send :

“Please send me a real picture of yourself. I cannot believe you’re trying to catfish me after we’ve been talking together for so long.”

It was a bit harsh you admit, but you had to make sure that this wasn’t just some enormous prank

And that you’ve been made fun of this entire time

At first, he got hurt that you actually thought that he was a catfish and that he couldn’t possibly be this good looking

But he remembered that he was still an anonymous stalker in your eyes and that you were a very intelligent woman

It was totally understandable that you’d still be on your guard

Jungkook simply answers back :

“I would absolutely never play in your face and break your trust like that my love. You can make a reverse search on this picture. I took it right now and you’re the only person besides me that has ever laid eyes on it on this earth. All of this is reserved just for you.”

You do as he told and… you simply can’t believe it.

He is right : the picture is nowhere to be found on the internet

That’s when it really kicked in

You actually bagged the literal finest man in campus without doing anything

And he is the one that’s absolutely obsessed with you ??

He is the one who spoils you and showers you with love at any occasion without any inquiry on you part ??

You must have saved the entire human civilization in another life, because there was simply no way in hell this was real

You had to apologize. You were truly not familiar with his game.

You answer back :

“Look, I’m sorry to have doubted you but you’ve always been anonymous this entire time and we haven’t really gotten to know each other on a deeper level just yet. You know what ? You can send me all the pictures you’d like, but no dick pic please, I’m truly not into that.”

“Thank you again for accepting to reveal more of yourself to me, I’m really enjoying this ! You look very good…”

When he finished reading your message he was smiling from ear to ear

Oh, he knew he won.

— Against all odds, the bird perks up and flaps his wings again

Following this event, you started sending pictures of each other on the regular

You were sending him selfies mostly, not comfortable enough to reveal your body like he does

Jungkook did not mind one bit

He worshipped every single picture you sent to him regardless, going as far as printing and framing them all

His room was starting to fill up with all the pictures of you that you sent him, along side the stolen cliches he took of you

He was literally living his dream life.

He couldn’t believe how far he’d gone in the pursuit of his love, and how far it led him

On the flip side, you were absolutely flabbergasted.

He was sending you very cute pictures of his daily life like him cooking, gaming, painting and all that

But when it came to the pictures of himself…

He was always half naked or wearing very tight fitting clothes like a tank top and a sport crewneck

He explained that he couldn’t send you pictures of him wearing his daily clothes because he didn’t want you to recognize him in the street

That was only half of the truth tho

He also wanted to impress you with the work he’s been putting in the gym during all this time, just for you

But he truly hoped that you didn’t see him as some sort of fuckboy only interested in having sex with you

Showing you his body was just another way to draw you in. Like the final nail in the coffin

In his opinion, he made enough efforts these past few months to give you a glimpse of the overflowing feelings he had for you

He is absolutely head over heels for you but not in a carnal way if that made sense

And he knows very well that you’re not into that either

He has had crushes and stuff but he used to be a complete loser so no one would give him even a crumb of attention

Of course he very occasionally had some peaks of libido and he always took care of his needs by himself

But he quickly realized that he has honestly never felt sexual attention to anyone

When he compared his experience to the way other boys around him where going crazy about sex in his teenage years…

It was alienating to say the least.

He clearly remembers an instance when he tried talking about it to one of his friends at the time

And they bluntly answered :

“You don’t feel attracted to girls ? Are you gay or something ?”

Yes, he later discovered that he was indeed bi, but that was besides the point

The only thing he wanted more than anything was to develop the deepest and closest platonic & romantic relationship he could with anyone

And have them by his side as a friend and a lover, forever

He could not bring himself to perform as a person he was not just to uphold the expectations about what it meant to be a man

It felt like deep betrayal toward himself and the perfect recipe to be miserable forever in order to have company and be accepted by society

He always thought he was weird and doomed to be alone

Until you came into his life and outwardly expressed your need to have someone exactly like him into your life

You were literally the bright and warm light guiding him out of the dark and cold tunnel of loneliness

A dream of his that was once too good to be true

Was now a reality within reach

He could finally let hope fill his heart to the brim, like he always wanted to.

— the bird keeps gliding, with hope being the sole compass of his unpredictable voyage

The thing is, his plan was working on you

You really enjoyed the glimpses into his life and the occasional thirst traps

It kind of felt like texting a very sweet OF model

So you didn’t know why you still felt somewhat… empty

Like, he did answer your request to see more of him.

Of course it’s reassuring and rewarding to know that your secret admirer (and obsessive stalker) is literally eye candy

But you started to get scared about his true intentions

You knew he loved you for you

At least that’s what the countless love letters, acts of services and gifts he was constantly showering you with lead you to believe

And he has never been sexually suggestive in any way

But you still held back in your feelings in some way

You’ve always craved a special type of romantic connection to someone that was rooted in nothing but pure feelings of love and trust, not lust

And he was clearly giving that to you, at the moment

But.. he’s a drop dead gorgeous college boy in his early twenties

He statistically could not possibly be on the same page as you.

What will happen when he’ll start wanting more from you and you’re not gonna be able to give it to him ?

What will happen when on your first night together he’ll try to make a move on you and you’ll have to reject him ?

What will happen when you’ll be forced to open up about your lack of sexual attraction ?

Will he abandon you on the spot, like all these other guys ?

Or is he too far gone in his obsession with you, that he won’t be able to accept your rejection and his knee jerk reaction will be to be outright violent with you ?

Or worse : what if he’ll pretend to understand that “you need time” to get comfortable with him

Only to try to coerce his way into making you do something you simply don’t want to do ?

You want to enjoy this with him as much as possible, you really do

But these thoughts have always plagued your mind

And you had to share them with him to make sure that he stops getting attached to you before it’s too late.

You just couldn’t let hope fill your heart to the brim, even if you wanted to.

[subjectredacted]

y'all i am so bad at checking in and posting on tumblr, but!!! i really must scream on every platform because LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT waaaaaAAAAAA look at this beautiful cover art for my fanfic, illustrated by the amazing @fritzmetzger !!!

If you'd like to check out the fic, it's over here on ao3!

More thoughts and feelings, and talk about how this wonderful artistic collaboration came to be under the cut:

Back in December in the Alan Wake Book Club server, I asked for some kind of writing prompt with intentions of just writing a little drabble to practice. Fritz gave me this: "caseywake, brutal gore necrophilia" and I went alright cool, let's get brutal and weird because I love horror and it's a great chance to play in the space. I started thinking about ideas and began writing and the drabble idea turned into something bigger. A multi-chapter endeavor. Because: I wanted to have Alan kill Casey over and over again but I also wanted him to have to sit and live with the building distress and emotions involved in this, especially when it came to potentially romantic and lustful feelings involving a corpse. (I also found myself wanting to write about Alan as a few different kinds of monsters as a way to play around even more with the horror of it all.)

The more I thought about the dreams, the more I also thought about how I wanted to frame this story and how it would bleed out into both Alan and Casey's real lives. Because the experiences are happening as shared dreams, it's been interesting to think about the short-and-long-term impact that they have on the two of them, and how the dreams interplay with their emotional states and relationships with those around them.

The fic is still very early on right now (i'm taking a little break from writing chapter four as we speak), but I have lots of plans outlined (and I also continue to welcome in new ideas to this both when I am and am not working on it) for the future. If I had to estimate right now... 20 or so more chapters to go based on the current ideas I have outlined right now. After a certain point in the story, we'll also be exploring Casey's side of the dreams to see what his perspective is on what is happening, and I am VERY much looking forward to their eventual realization that all of these strange and grotesque moments were shared over the years once they finally meet face-to-face in 2023.

For anyone reading the fic, the fabled necrophilia is coming very soon! (Chapter 5, unless Casey wants to get another chapter in beforehand. If that happens, it will be chapter 6!)

if you read all my rambling, thank you!! pls join me in will smith posing at this amazing art by fritz!!!! RRRRAAAAAAAA

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 22/22

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21

STORY 2 - Sequel

I can't believe it?? I made it, Ma!

Luci's General Suit inspired by this FANART on twt by @kajina_97

This is the COMIC that inspired me to write the whole thing because I wanted this ending so bad klajdklsa it's by @Sandranetta_13 on twt

Dk what tomorrow might entai. Might be the first chapter for the sequel?

Let me know what you guys think! Please, I'm very desperate.

I'm willing to do a Q&A regarding your thoughts. DMs and Asks are OPEN! <3

Will link the sequel here once posted

---------------------------------------------------

Everything was relatively normal the following week. His and Charlie's long overdue moment with no more miscommunication made Lucifer feel a whole lot better. He couldn't ask for a better daughter.

Dressing himself in one of his battle suits, he felt like he could take on the world. Nothing says King of Hell like your best warrior outfit and a badass sword in full display.

Lucifer: Looking pretty dapper there, me.

Lucifer doesn't even bother to style his hair- it now flows animatedly like that of Lilith's.

Flowers were still being sent to him especially when he was first spotted roaming around the hotel after a week-ish long recovery. Charlie had the amazing idea of making a greenhouse or some sort of garden to put all the flowers and keep them alive as long as possible.

They got rid of any red ones after someone sent a buttload of them which then caused him to have a mini panic attack. Alastor is subtly trying to take that moment off his mind by leaving Marigolds everywhere. It's sweet but soon they're going to need a separate greenhouse for just the Marigolds. Where'd he even get these??

Finding his first Marigold of the day, in the bathroom of all places really Alastor??, he makes his way to the lobby. Everyone was there doing their own thing.

Husk and Angel are at the bar as usual, with the latter talking animatedly about something that puts an endearing expression on Husk's face. Nifty is putting on roach puppet shows for Alastor. The radio demon notices him and conveys his most 'help me' face but he just chuckled and gives him a thumbs up. The cyclops named Cherri is today's gift screener, grumbling about the pollen and the shitty taste some demons have.

Charlie and Vaggie were talking to a small group of demons by the entrance. As soon as his daughter sees him, she said something to the group then walked over to him.

Charlie: Good morning, dad!

Lucifer: You look busy.

Charlie: They're sinners who are asking about the hotel! I'm so happy that people are at least coming here to check it out. Did you have a good sleep?

Lucifer: Well, I don't feel like passing out today. So pretty good!

Charlie: That's great, dad!

Angel: Short king! Looking good in that fit!

Cherri: Yeah! Do a spin, hot stuff!

He blushes at the sudden attention. Everyone is looking at him in awe- maybe it was too much?

Alastor: Nonsense, dear.

Alastor appeared beside him in a flurry of shadows, seemingly reading his mind. He bends down at Lucifer's level to whisper in his ear. He plucked the Marigold Lucifer was holding, putting it behind the King's hair.

Alastor: I, for one, think you never looked so.. raveshing~

Damn him.

Lucifer: Shut up.

Lucifer hisses in response. Like, seriously? In front of his daughter? Thank Father, Charlie didn't hear that.

Charlie: Yeah! You look so cool. I don't think I've seen you wear that except for when there's a banquet.

Lucifer: Yeah, well, I wanted to look put together after everything.

Charlie softens at his words.

Alastor: No need for that, sire. I'm sure no one is foolish enough to comment negatively on what the King of Hell chooses to look like.

Lucifer: What does that make you then?

Alastor: Privileged, my King~

Lucifer rolls his eyes at the audacity but he can't help but smile. Man, he never thought he'd miss their constant banter.

Charlie: You look awesome, dad, okay? Al, please slow down with the Marigolds, Nifty's going crazy. Oh! Dad, right, Aunt Bel called said that the Sloth Ring is making incredible progress and that she'll visit again soon. I think Aunt Bee is planning a party with the other Sins and would like it to be held here in Pride! At the hotel! It would be so cool and of course if you're not ready I can tell them and maybe a little get together would be better. I'll even invite Sev! He gave flowers for you too and Vaggie was so jealous when I said he was my ex and thought the flowers were for me, she was so cute-

Lucifer tried, but he stopped listening halfway through his daughter's talk. It was a bit of an information overload but he kept a small, genuine smile on his face for her.

Then something caught his eye that made him stopped smiling altogether.

Charlie notices this causing her to stop talking.

Charlie: Dad?

He should answer but his eyes were locked on the wall behind Charlie. Plastered on the higher part of the lobby's wall was a glowing mark- gold wings with a dot on the center.

Lucifer turns around so fast to look outside the hotel's window. Heaven looks so out of place up there, sticking out like a sore thumb upon Hell's red skies.

A glint in the distance made him act. Without warning, he took off with such force that those inside the hotel were knocked down by the gust of his wings.

He breaks the window on his way out and pulls out Lightbringer. Lucifer brings the sword up and-

A powerful explosion lit up the sky. The sky split in two and fire appeared high and wide over Pride. At that moment, everyone became so hot that they couldn't bear it, as if their whole body was on fire. They wanted to rip their skin off just to get a sense of relief but then the sky shut closed. A strong thump was heard by every demon in the vicinity and then they were all thrown a few meters.

It felt like an eternity before Charlie and the others could get their bearings. Those that didn't get knocked out went outside, once there, they see Lucifer far up in the sky, holding up a flaming sword. The signature pentagram of the city has been fractured by whatever happened and demons all around were either hurt or unconscious.

Charlie: Dad!

Charlie calls out to her dad but he doesn't acknowledge her. His gaze never leaving Heaven, as if he's seeing something that no one else can.

--------------------------------------

A screen locked on Hell zooms out as the machine's voice rang out 'target disengaged'.

An angel looking similarly to Lucifer, except there's blue tints on the spots where Lucifer had reds, was looking down at Hell pulling back a large, golden gun. They blew the smoke residue and sighed.

Michael: Hello, Lucifer... Still causing trouble, I see.

---------------------------------------

it's done??

cliffhanger but don't worry, there's a sequel!

I spent 30 minutes looking for that comic that inspired this ending.

Did y'all catch that Lemmino reference? I'd have that description in my head rent free ever since I watched Grazed by the Apocalypse

Again, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! This was my first published baby and I'm so proud !

[tightjeansjavi]

Slow Hands | Chapter 3 “trust me to trust you”

A/N: I sat on this story for awhile as I’m already figuring out how I want to develop the plot. I can tell this is going to turn into another passion project for me as I love the idea of post!outbreak domestic Joel and finding love in his late age. This chapter you get a little glimpse into what outbreak day was like for Beanie. Please remember that the nature of this fic will have dark themes. I will mark the warnings appropriately, but please read with caution. 🖤

~word count: 5.2k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f! Reader

Summary: early winter mornings, fear of the past, a felt fawn, and Maria’s egg casserole.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence from outbreak day, mentions of loss, carnage, brink of death, depictions of a knife wound, PTSD, panic attacks, trigger responses, mentions of a firearm, I am no expert on the subject but I have done some research as I know it’s a delicate topic, angst, Joel is struggling to adjust to living a domestic life, anxiety, feeling like an outcast, grumpy old man! Joel, shy! Joel, kinda mean! Joel, sunshine reader, flirting, fluff, awkward situations, reminiscing on the past, reader has no physical descriptions and is from Texas, reader has a nickname (beanie bc y’know coffee beans) no age gap, vulgar language, slow burn, this is a fic that takes place post-outbreak so please keep in mind that there will be dark/triggering themes, but to also remember that it is not the main plot line for the story. Please read with caution. (+18) minors dni!

main masterlist series masterlist playlist

It had been over 20 years since outbreak day, when your world and life as you once knew it, turned to flames and ash before the frightened whites of your eyes. Your coffee shop, Cuppa Smiles, was your little slice of heaven. You had put so much love, dedication, and passion into your establishment. Your coworkers were friends from college that were just looking for a change of pace from their 9-5’s just like the next person.

They all tried to kill you, whatever they were now. It had happened all so fast, and even now on the quietest of nights, you could still hear their snarls and animalistic growls. You could still remember the frightened screams, the chaos and destruction as a Boeing 747 collided into the earth and burst into flames, debris falling from the explosion, hitting those who were fleeing, and those who were no longer living. You remember tumbling along the concrete, rolling like a sack of potatoes as you struggled to breathe. To your direct left was a truck flipped over on its side.

Through the harsh ringing in your ears, you could make out two male voices on the other side of the truck. The one man was holding a young girl to his chest who couldn’t be more than 12-13 years old.

“I’m sorry, baby, I know, I know.” The man’s tone was urgent, rushed and laced with fear as he held his daughter close.

“We gotta get off the street!” The other man shouted desperately.

“Tommy!”

“Head to the river! I’ll find a way. Get her outta here, Joel! Go!”

Joel.

Joel.

Joel..Miller?

The last time you saw Joel Miller, all you could remember was the fear in his eyes, before everything around you went black.

When Tommy and Maria Miller discovered you on the outskirts of Jackson, looking like you were all skin and bones as you slipped off your horse's saddle and into the cool dirt. Your body was exhausted, your resources were spent and now you just hoped that you would die peacefully. That was until a strong pair of arms were gently lifting you from the dirt as your body laid like a limp fish.

“D’ya think she’s still breathin?’” Tommy asked his wife as she was quickly checking your pulse.

“Barely. She must have been riding for days out in this heat.”

“She showin’ any signs of bein’ infected?” Tommy knew the protocol of bringing in stragglers from outside Jackson, and if you were found to be infected..

Maria made quick work to check your body for any signs of a bite mark. She took sudden interest in a large bloodstain through the tattered fabric of your shirt. She gently lifted the fabric from the hem to discover a gruesome sight. What appeared to be done by the work of a sharp blade was a long semi deep, gnarly gash carving from your abdomen, up your torso, curving under your left breast and wrapped around your ribcage to your left shoulder blade.

“Fuckin’ hell. Someone tried to carve her up?” Tommy asked in disbelief as his wife gently pulled the hem of your shirt back down.

“Raiders, no doubt. She’s not infected. I can’t find any bite marks, but one thing’s for certain though, this woman has been through some hell.”

It was well over an hour till sunrise when Joel Miller lumbered out of his home, shovel in hand and bundled up fiercely in multiple thick layers to protect his skin from the harsh biting cold. His plan was simple, head over to your house down the street, shovel your walkway, and ask you to accompany him to breakfast. It really was quite simple, but despite that he was running a script over in his mind on exactly what he wanted to say to you.

Hey Beanie, was wonderin’ if you’d like to accompany me to breakfast?

Wait..what if she declines? Then what are you gonna say?

Uhh..

Oh, well that’s alright! Maybe another time? No pressure or nothin.’

What if..she thinks it’s strange that you’re shoveling her walkway at the crack ass of dawn?

Jus’ doin’ my neighborly duty. Besides, it’s jus’ a friendly favor, y’know cause we’re friends?

I sound like an idiot.

Maybe I should just..start off with saying good morning?

I’m hopeless.

Joel grumbled to himself as he trudged through the snow. The whipping wind bit at his exposed skin but he welcomed the chill without a complaint. The harsh elements were just another reminder that he was still alive and breathing.

The outside of your home was just as he expected it to be, quaint, yet quirky. He imagined that in the summer months your front porch would be scattered with flowers and plants. The mailbox just outside your gate was crooked and could definitely use a fresh coat of paint, and the wooden gate was a little creaky, but nothing he couldn’t easily fix. He was already making a little mental note of everything he wanted to fix on, and around your home.

The snow was a few inches deep, it stopped just below the top of his boots. His back already screamed a dull pain up his spine as he bent down with the shovel and got to work. The pain he felt in his muscles was just another reminder that he was still alive.

He gritted his teeth together, jaw clenched as he worked through the first section of your covered walkway.

You never considered yourself to be a heavy sleeper even before the apocalypse. A door slamming, or pots clinking in the kitchen sink at your long since abandoned apartment was all it took to stir you from your slumber. Now, even in the safety of Jackson, your brain was always ticking. What could be lurking behind that dark shadow across the street? Realistically, nothing. It’s just your brain playing a dirty trick on you. A branch outside your window snaps, it’s just the wind. It’s just the wind because it’s storming out, and a strong wind can break even the sturdiest of branches. That noise you heard in the dead of the night? It was just an animal. Maybe a raccoon or a screech from a barn owl. It wasn’t a clicker. You were safe, so why couldn’t your brain just..turn off? Why was it still stuck in this survival mode when nothing inside Jackson’s strong walls could hurt you.

This sound in particular was different. It was unfamiliar, and unfamiliar meant danger. Scraping, grunts, more scraping; man. The hairs on the back of your neck were standing up as you shot out of bed like a bat out of hell. You kept your shotgun next to your bed because well..you could never be too careful. You never had a reason to use it, but it brought you some form of comfort that you didn’t realize you so desperately needed until Tommy experienced your triggers firsthand when he had accidentally snuck up on you while your back was turned to him behind the counter of your shop. The last time he had seen fear struck that deep inside one person, was the night Sarah died in Joel’s arms. So, Tommy lended you a shotgun as an apology.

He’s out there. He’s trying to get me. I have to run. I have to hide. He’s found me and he—he’s going to take me away.

Your brain was screaming at you as you crept down the steps. Every step you took you feared would be your last. It had been sometime since you experienced an episode as severe as this one. Other times you were able to talk yourself back down to logic. Sometimes you’d resort to unbridled violence, usually on a sack of sugar. This time, you felt as if you had no control over your body's current state. It was as if you were reliving—

Joel had his bad ear facing towards your front door. Between the pain in his back, and the scraping of the metal shovel along the concrete, he wasn’t able to detect the front door creaking open.

His back was facing you as you shakily pointed the barrel of your gun at what you thought was an intruder. Due to the low light from the sun barely peeking over the mountains, all you saw was a darkened figure bent over in the middle of your walkway. Had it been brighter out, perhaps you would have recognized the lone figure to be Joel.

Your ears were ringing loudly as the inner voice inside of your brain was demanding you to shoot. Shoot him and then run, and never look back. Your breath grew shallow as the figure slowly turned around to start on the next snow patch..and then immediately froze.

Joel dropped the shovel with a heavy clank as he slowly raised his hands above his head to show you that he was no immediate threat to your safety. “Beanie? Hey, it’s alright darlin’ it’s just me.”

He’s lying

Your entire body was trembling at the top of the steps as Joel hesitantly took a few steps forward. “Darlin?’” I’m gonna need you to lower the gun now, okay? You’re safe. It’s just me. Nothin’ out here is goin’ to hurt you.” He spoke softly, yet firmly. He kept his hands where you could see them in direct view. He was close enough now that even in the low light, he could see the frightened whites of your eyes as you stood there, unblinking.

“I’m goin’ to take another step towards you, okay? Please don’t shoot me.”

Don’t trust him. He’s one of them. He’s here to hurt you. He’s playing a trick on you.

“Joel?” You stuttered shakily as you finally found your voice.

His heart sunk deep into the pit of his stomach when he picked up on just how terrified you were. He knew it wasn’t directly because of him. Something had happened to you, he knew the look on your face all too well, and it was a good thing he knew how to act calm in a dire situation such as this one.

“Yes, it’s Joel. It’s just me darlin.’” He responded as he took another step towards the foot of the steps leading up to your front porch.

“D—don’t come any closer, please.” You uttered just barely above a whisper as you kept the barrel of your gun trained on him.

“Okay. I won’t come any closer, but I need you to trust me to trust you. Do you understand what I’m saying to you Beanie?” He was careful with his choice of words. Anything too sudden might end up with him potentially getting a bullet to the arm or thigh. Not the chest, please. He silently thought to himself.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I trust you to not shoot me, so I need you to trust me to approach you. Okay? We can do this in baby steps. I just really need you to lower the gun, okay?” His eyes locked on yours as he gave you a reassuring nod.

You blinked a few times as your hands shakily lowered the barrel of the shotgun to the floorboards. Something in you suddenly clicked as the realization of what you had just done, more-so almost done, hit you like a freight train and suddenly you were crumbling right before his eyes.

He let out a visible sigh of relief when your gun was no longer aimed at him, but as soon as your body crumbled to the ground, he jumped into action. His gloved hands were gently wrapped around your shoulders as he spoke softly, yet urgently to you. “Beanie? Hey, you’re alright. You’re alright. I’m right here. You’re safe. You’re safe.” He felt like in those crucial moments it was necessary that he repeat himself just in case you didn’t hear him the first time.

Your eyes were frantically searching his own, pupils dilating under the low light that the early winter morning sky had to offer. He was holding your shoulders so delicately, as if you were fine bone china that would shatter just upon glancing at it. He could feel your muscles trembling under his loose grip. He could feel a hint of anger bubbling in the deep pit of his stomach. The same anger he experienced when he found Ellie— “d’ya..wanna take some deep breaths with me maybe? Or we could count? Sometimes I try’n pick a spot on the wall or somethin’ or count the steps it takes me to get from point A to point B. S’not the best method, but it helps bring me back down to earth.” His tone was so soft, sincere and genuine. If you weren’t such an emotional fucked up wreck, your heart would be melting into a puddle by now.

“Joel..I’m so sorry I-I—didn’t know it was you. I thought you—I thought..” You struggled to articulate a cohesive sentence as his espresso brown eyes bore into yours. He gave you a reassuring nod, and a gentle squeeze along your shoulders.

“Hey, it’s alright. I know you weren’t g’nna shoot me. You were just frightened. Your mind was probably playin’ some trick on you.” He murmured as his thumb was gently stroking back and forth across the fabric of your pajamas on your shoulders. “Y’sure you don’t wanna count?”

“Does..it actually help?” You whispered timidly.

“Sometimes..all depends on what it is that’s triggerin’ me.” He softly responded

“Can you start..please?”

“Course I can darlin.’ We’ll start at Ten.”

“Nine.”

“Eight.”

“Seven..”

“Six.”

“Five..”

“Four.”

“Three..”

“Two.”

“One.” You murmured in unison.

“Y’feel alright with me helpin’ you up? We can stay down here. S’alright with me.” His arms were fully enclosed around you now. He smelled better than you expected. Of course it helped that Jackson had an abundance of hygiene products available; soap being at the top of the list. He smelled earthy, rugged with a hint of minty freshness..toothpaste maybe.

“I really wasn’t going to shoot you..something just came over me and..I couldn’t stop myself.” You admitted softly.

“Would have been real hard for you to shoot me with the safety on darlin.’” He stifled a chuckle as he could see from the angle he was crouched down at, the safety on your rifle was in fact on. “Who gave you that rifle anyway? Someone outta teach ya to use it..never can be too careful.”

“Tommy gave it to me a few years back.”

“Ah. That does sound like somethin’ my brother would do.” He slowly stood to his feet as he offered you his gloved hand to help you up. “These floorboards are pretty damn wobbly. I can take a look at them when it ain’t so cold out? They probably started warpin’ from the changes in the weather. Might have a few boards that are rotted out.”

“Anything else you wanna fix on my house?” You teasingly asked as you grasped his hand, allowing him to help you up from the current sitting position you were in.

“Honey, I’ve got a whole mental list goin’ on in my head right now. The flood boards could end up bein’ a safety hazard if I don’t check ‘em sooner, rather than later. Your mailbox could use some sprucin’ up. Nothing a bit of paint can’t fix, and your gate is a little crooked. I’d uh—I’d be happy to do it though.” He was rubbing the back of his neck nervously with a sheepish look on his face.

“A whole list, huh? Is that why you were over here at the crack ass of dawn?” There was a ghost of a smile on your lips as you wrapped your arms around your chest to block out the bitter chill.

“Well, I gotta put my carpenter skills to good use somehow, right? Actually..I just woke up this mornin’ and wanted to do somethin’ nice for ya. Y’know after you came over and returned the mug..plus, I couldn’t really sleep all that much. I rarely do these days. Anyway, I’m ramblin’ yet again. The main reason I shoveled your walkway is cus’ I was goin’ to ask you if you’d like to accompany me to breakfast?” His face was flushed, and his cheeks were rosy, but he was certain it wasn’t because of the biting chill.

“You came all this way to shovel my walkway, and find an excuse to ask me out to breakfast?” You couldn’t help the smile that was slowly forming over your lips. It was crazy to think that just five minutes ago you were a complete cluster fuck of an emotional wreck, and now you were smiling like a fool because Joel Miller was proving to you that even in an apocalypse, chivalry was alive and well.

He ignored your question, at first. It wasn’t on purpose, he just was more tuned into your active shivering, and the way you tightened your arms across your chest in a weak attempt to block out the early morning chill.

“Are ya cold?” He asked with a soft rasp. He didn’t allow you the chance to answer as he was already slipping his warm suede jacket off and placing it over your shoulders.

“Thank you..” you whispered in a soft response.

“Of course. I’d feel pretty fuckin’ shitty if I caused ya to catch a cold out here.”

“And I’ll feel the same exact way if you catch one as well. Do you..want to come inside? I can put a fresh pot on?” You were already gesturing to your front door with a soft tilt of your chin in that direction.

“Let me just finish up with your walkway, and then I’d love to join you for a cup of coffee.” He was already heading down the steps to grab his discarded shovel.

“Wait! Joel, your jacket? Don’t you want it back?”

He glanced over his shoulder at you with a tiny grin playing on his lips. “Nah, s’alright darlin.’ The cold ain’t real botherin’ me anyway. Now please, go inside before you actually catch a cold.”

You weren’t one to argue at this early in the morning, and especially when you had yet to indulge in your cup of coffee. You slowly bent down and picked up your rifle and slung the strap over your shoulder before heading back inside. As soon as Joel heard the click of your front door closing, he continued on with shoveling the rest of your walkway.

The coffee grounds were just beginning to steep when he had quietly entered your home. He politely left his boots along the doormat next to yours. He didn’t want to be a rude houseguest and track in any snow. The first thing he noticed about your interior style was that you were anything but a minimalist. You had all sorts of picture frames hanging on the wall. Some were photographs but the others were paintings. Realism, portraits, landscapes, anything your heart desires, you painted it.

He especially took interest in all your knick knacks that were scattered in a clay bowl on the table in the entryway. Old keys, coins, lighters and paper matchboxes. Figurines, tiny porcelain coffee cups. The pads of his fingers brushed over a tiny felt fawn that was sitting atop of all the ‘clutter.’

“Ah. I see you found my bowl of treasures? Well, some people would probably call them junk, but I’ve always been a collector of oddities. Although, I wouldn’t really call them oddities. I think the proper term would be keepsakes?” You had two mugs of steaming coffee in your hands as you approached him. His jacket was still loosely hanging off of your shoulders as he looked over at you.

“Where did you find all of these treasures? Have you been collectin’ them through the years? Ellie’s obsessed with this kinda stuff.” He set the little felt fawn down gently as he reached for the coffee mug. Your fingers gently brushed against one another as he gingerly removed the mug from your hand. “Thank you, by the way. For uh, the coffee.”

“For the most part I have found all of these pieces on my own. Tommy actually found that felt fawn a few months ago. He knew it would bring a smile to my face. Do you want to take it home? I’m sure Ellie would love it. That’s kinda the whole concept of the bowl y’know? When I have guests over, I want them to pick something from it that really speaks to them. As you can see the bowl is quite full, considering I don’t get much company around here.” You brought the rim of your mug to your lips, softly blowing on the rising steam before you took a cautious slow sip.

“Oh, I couldn’t do that Beanie. I don’t wanna take somethin’ from ya that makes ya smile. That was awfully nice of my brother. Y’guys pretty close then?” He was gently leaning his weight back against the edge of the table, ankles crossed as he took a small sip from his own mug. For a split second you couldn’t help but feel the soothing domesticity from the moment you were sharing. Joel’s thick woolen socks, his flushed cheeks from the cold paired with his coat resting along your shoulders. There was something so tender to it all.

“Joel, I insist. Please, take the fawn and give it to your kid. I even have a little box for it so it looks like it’s a present. I’m sure she’ll love it. Anyway, Tommy and I are close. I suppose you could lay it out that way? I owe my life to him and Maria..they were the ones who took me in. I haven’t been outside Jackson since.”

“‘Course you got a little box for it and everythin.’ Alright, I’ll give it to El. You haven’t been outside Jackson in that long?..” He asked with genuine curiosity. He didn’t want to come across like he was prying either. He wanted you to open up to him not because he forced you to, but because you felt comfortable enough around him to show your vulnerabilities.

“I’ve only been outside the town one another time and that was when we found the coffee bean plants in the Colorado nursery. Tommy and Maria were with me of course and—” You paused, remembering how freaked out they were when you started to panic out of the blue. Neither of them could calm you down, and you passed out in Tommy’s arms.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anythin’ you don’t wanna tell me, alright?” He reached his freehand out and gently placed it along the side of your wrist, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Let me..go get that box for Ellie’s fawn. Did you still want to do breakfast?” You set your mug along the table, you had barely touched it.

“If you’d like to. I’d thoroughly enjoy your company, and you ain’t lived till you’ve tried Maria’s egg casserole, darlin.’” He was grinning boyishly over the rim of his mug.

Man, was he handsome.

“Sounds like her egg casserole is to die for then. I’ll just grab that box, and then get dressed. You alright with hanging out here by yourself for a few minutes?”

“I think I can find a way to keep myself entertained till then.” He assured you.

“Perfect.”

Joel waited until you had disappeared upstairs before he let out a deep sigh as he looked down at the little felt fawn. His brow furrowed as he was deep in thought over what had possibly happened to you when you went outside Jackson with Tommy and Maria. He could connect the dots and piece the puzzle together, and the blaring answer was something bad had happened. What exactly? Now, that was going to take a little bit of time.

You came back downstairs a few minutes later. Dressed in some worn out jeans and a sweater made of pure sheep’s wool. Joel’s jacket was resting along the crook of your arm as you handed him a little felt box that went along with the fawn.

“Keep my jacket. I’ve got plenty at home.” Was the first thing that he uttered as he took the felt box from you and gently placed the fawn figurine inside before tucking it safely away in his pocket.

“Joel, I can’t do that. I’ve got plenty of jackets here as well.”

He wanted to tell you to keep it because he liked the way it looked on you. He kept those thoughts to himself for the time being.

“Alright, I won’t fight ya on it.” He shrugged.

“Good, cause you’ll lose every single time you try.” There was a playful edge to your tone as you placed the jacket back around his shoulders.

“Is that a challenge?” He mused, with his eyebrow quirked upwards.

“Nope. It’s facts.” You grinned.

Yeah, we’ll see about that.

More of Jackson’s residents began to emerge from their homesteads at the shrill sound of the breakfast bell chiming from the mess hall. Joel had respectfully offered you his arm as you descended down the porch steps, and past your crooked gate. You obliged to his offer, wrapping your gloved hand around the crook of his elbow.

You had never felt so many pairs of eyes on you since living in Jackson. Curious, envious, surprised, disgusted? Those were the types of looks you encountered from a handful of Jackson’s residents. The looks you received were mostly from women, and even though the world had ended, jealousy was still brewing.

It wasn’t everyday that Joel Miller came strolling into the mess hall with a pretty thing on his arm. You stood out like two sore thumbs, but it seemed like neither of you were paying much mind to it. Joel was used to the stares. People around here didn’t know much about him, other than the fact that he was Tommy’s older brother and Ellie was..like a daughter to him. They’d see the scars on his hands and arms and split like a sundae. He’d hear the whisperings of who he was, where he came from, and he’d shrug it all off. He much preferred keeping his family close, and everyone else at an arm's reach. He secretly relished in remaining a mystery to most.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Tommy spoke in a surprised tone as you and Joel approached the table that he and Maria were currently seated at. “Ya finally get Beanie outta her coffee shell?”

“It appears that I did. Told her about Maria’s egg casserole and she was sold instantly.” Joel reached over and gave his brother a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Ellie stroll through here yet?”

“She came in a few minutes ago with Dina. There sittin’ with their friends ov’there.” Tommy gestured with the end of his fork.

“Thanks. Got somethin’ I wanna give t’her.” He turned towards you then and gave you a reassuring smile. “Why don’t ya go and grab yourself a plate. I’ll come sit with ya in a minute.”

“Do you want me to grab you a plate as well?..”

“You’re a real doll. Thank you, that would be great.” He gave his brother a slight nod before he was sauntering away to where Ellie was sitting. Her and Dina were sitting side by side, shoulders touching.

“Hey, kiddo.” Joel murmured softly.

“Hey, Joel.” Ellie responded, not looking up from her plate. Things between them were..rocky to put it nicely. She loved her dad of course, and after what happened yesterday she thought she’d be okay, but the truth was she wasn’t.

“I uh—don’t mean to bother you and Dina or nothin.’ Jus’ wanted to give this to you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little velvet box and placed it down in front of her. “Beanies got this collection of treasures and I saw this..little fawn, and immediately thought of you kiddo.”

Why can’t I just be good with my words for once in my fuckin’ life?

Ellie could feel tears pricking the corner of her eyes as she gently lifted the lid off the box to reveal the little felt deer encased inside. This small gesture meant more than Joel would ever realize..but Ellie kept her poker face strong.

“Thanks, Joel.”

His heart dipped and sunk like dry sand becoming wet and weighed down from tumultuous waves crashing upon the shore. It was a small step in what he hoped was the direction of forgiveness.

“You’re welcome, kiddo.” He cleared his throat before he ambled away back to the table where the rest of his family were sitting. He had only known you for less than twenty four hours, and he already thought of you as family. He didn’t count all the times before outbreak day only because that part of himself had died along with Sarah. Or, so he thought.

“El..he’s trying at least.” Dina was resting her chin along Ellie’s shoulder as they were both gazing down at the little felt fawn.

“He is.” Ellie murmured softly.

Joel took a seat across from you as you were sitting next to Maria, gushing over her egg casserole, and how Joel was absolutely right about you not living until you tried it.

He thought you looked so pretty with a soft smile on your face as you looked at Maria with genuine adoration.

At nightfall, Joel, Tommy and a few other men were out patrolling. With the winter being so harsh, there were more chances of man wandering through these parts. Stragglers were one thing, raiders? That was a whole other story. Joel and Tommy took to the east on horseback. The longer winter night was dead silent. There was no howling wind to whip against the bone dry branches. No low hoot from an owl. It was quiet, too quiet. Even the horse’s hooves were nearly undetectable from how soft and careful they were stepping into the snow.

The only light source they had was the brightly lit moon shining in the jet-black sky. The stars scattered about weren’t nearly as brilliant as the moon.

Joel broke through the silence as he adjusted the strap of his rifle over his shoulder. “Tommy?..” he started, “do you know what happened to Beanie?..”

Tommy let out a huff of air as the bitter cold burned his lungs. He averted making eye contact with his brother before he was met with no other choice but to finally make eye contact with him. “It ain’t my place to tell you that, brother. I’m sorry.” He sounded defeated with his words because he didn’t want to keep anything hidden from Joel. Not after all those years they had spent apart from one another.

“You better give me a real fuckin’ reason why you can’t tell me. Tommy, she nearly fuckin’ shot me this mornin’ because she thought I was a threat. That I was a danger to her life. You can’t tell me anythin?’” Joel whispered back, harsher than he had wanted but he didn’t like being left out of the loop.

“Joel,” Tommy hissed under his breath, “Even if I knew the exact details of what that woman went through, I wouldn’t be able to disclose them to you.”

“Why the hell not?” Joel quipped back.

“Because, because..she ain’t got’a fuckin’ clue about what happened to herself either, Joel.”

What?

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Chapter 4:

[utilitycaster]

The thing I've realized, in the broader Actual Play space, is that a lot of creators are trying to turn Actual Play shows into TV shows.

You mentioned Kollok in your tags, and the creator of that has mentioned creating Kollok in a way to try to appeal to the Netflix audience.

And I'm all for experimentation, but tbh if I wanted to watch a TV show, I would go watch a TV show. That's not what I'm looking for in an Actual Play and over editing and gimmicks actively turn me off from it.

Folks creating Actual Play seem to put a lot of weight on it, but I don't know if it's that important from an audience perspective.

Hey anon,

Huge same - I've been thinking about this for a while, especially in regards to choices I didn't like (notably on D20, though the Candela split screen in chapter 3, while relatively minor, felt like part of the same trend and I'm really interested in seeing whether they keep it). I actually did mean to write more about this not in the tags of a reblog, so thanks for this ask because it gives me that motivation to do it!

Earlier this year I was at an event and someone who to be totally honest I found kind of annoying was talking about Dimension 20, and I decided to keep quiet and listen to what other people had to say, and another person (whom I respect and specifically know to be like, left-leaning and inclusive and not gatekeeper dudebro type, which is relevant to the next statement) who is solidly in Gen X and has been playing D&D since at least 2e mentioned that he doesn't like Actual Play at all because he is from the era where D&D was frequently played in third person and is somewhat of a purist in that sense. Ie, this guy would say "Gawain pulls out his sword and smites the dragon, with a 24 to hit", rather than "I'm going to pull out my sword and smite the dragon." He described his idea of D&D as being very much collaborative storytelling in the sense of a bunch of third person narrators who happen to be the storytellers for one specific character, not a first-person acted scene.

I happen to like both forms of narration and am not a purist either way, and indeed use both third person and first person myself as a player (as do many actual players; you see this on CR and D20 all the time). But I think this does show just how broad this spectrum is. You have people all the way on the "I am narrating an improvised story, I am the storyteller puppeting my character and I am not trying to be immersed" side and then you have shows that are trying to push this into full immersion...but so long as you have dice rolls, you'll never achieve it.

I prefer something in between: I do love watching people act, but I really like the gears and wires! I love mechanics! I think people who say "I love actual play D&D but I don't really care for combat, only RP" don't actually like actual play D&D! This is a specific format and I do not want people to hide the fact that they are using the rules of a game and are at a table, because they are and we know it.

This came up when I and others talked about the Legend of Vox Machina adaptation: they're probably going to have to find a way to convey the same tragedy and gravity of Scanlan's ninth level counterspell that doesn't require viewers to know the mechanics, because if you watch that scene as actual play the meaning of Sam saying "Nine" is immediately apparent. It hits hard with that one single word, but that won't be the case in an animated adaptation where no one is rolling a D20. Mechanics are in intrinsic part of actual play. You can enjoy actual play without that knowledge, but a solid grounding in those mechanics will only enhance that enjoyment (well, unless you're one of those rules-lawyery weirdos who gets bitter about any GM rule of cool/homebrew that they couldn't predict from the rulebooks but those people will never be happy).

The more general context of "being in a game", not just mechanics, is also in my opinion valuable. Brennan, on a Worlds Beyond Number fireside chat, referred to certain NPCs like Caramelinda as "furious that they are in a D&D game" and it's a funny and true statement. I feel like trying to push actual play into the realm of scripted shows is that: it feels like you're trying to hide the origins, and I think the quality of the show will ultimately suffer when you do that. It feels almost ashamed of what it is, and I don't think you can make something that transforms a medium/genre/thing in between the two without having a profound love and respect for the original, even if you also find it flawed. (This is also, tbh, how I feel about a lot of attempts to divorce D&D from the fact that it is ultimately a game influenced heavily by sword-and-sorcery fantasy, or about attempts to turn high or heroic fantasy into something that neatly affirms all of one's 2024 real world political beliefs, but that's another post).

I also think that the out-of-character element of actual play is a big draw. I have been open about having complicated feelings about the parasocial and projection aspects; but those feelings are "hey, this is still a show that is a source of livelihood, you are not hanging out in someone's living room and getting weird about the fact that the CR cast no longer responds to every tweet is dumb" and "you have not been betrayed by the creators because you didn't get the plot you wanted," and "the fact that two actors sit next to each other is not, in fact, a solid basis for shipping." I am equally opposed to the idea of "the actors do not exist, only the characters do," put forward in that attempt to make actual play Netflix-ready. It's fun to watch the CR cast rib Travis for turning bright red for, as people said, pretend kissing his real wife. It's fun to watch the Intrepid Heroes heckle Brennan when he plays a villain. It's fun to hear Aabria and Erika scream at WBN plot developments and for the McElroys or the NADDPod crew to wheeze with laughter and all of these shows but CR are to a degree edited, and all leave that element in, which I think says something really important about what actual play is understood to be!

It does not escape me that the seasons/shows using heavier camera edits have often, in my opinion, sacrificed story quality for a visual style I don't even care for. I do watch prestige television, and one of the more striking cinematographic choices I've seen lately are the extremely long single take shots used on both Succession's final season (Connor's Wedding, 4x03) and The Bear's first season (Review, 1x07). Prestige TV is not doing the glitchy Neverafter stuff. Hell, I liked Sagas of Sundry: Dread and never finished Madness before it went offline and haven't made an effort to seek it out specifically because the black box theater feel of Dread felt fun and new but not too removed from actual play vibes, whereas the higher production values of Madness, ironically, made it feel too artificial and stilted to keep my interest.

Actual play is its own beast, and in trying to appeal to a new audience you're probably going to lose a lot of the one you have. A big part of why I haven't been motivated to check out Kollok is that everything I hear about it, even positive reviews, makes it sound like it's missing the things I like from actual play and doesn't achieve the level of scripted shows. Honestly I think the REAL answer here is that if you want to find a space between a Netflix drama and an Actual Play show, ditch the rules and make stuff like Midst, which is as discussed inspired by ttrpg/actual play spaces, but is broadly plotted out in advance. I think that approach can combine the best of both worlds, whereas I feel as though attempting to be a Netflix show will usually spend so much time trying to hide the fact that there's a table there that it will detract from the actual story.

[milaisreading]

Good day! I wanna ask you please for scenario about manager spends free day with boys after u-20 match. This chapter when they go to the bowling, meet u-20 etc.

Author: Hope u like this and thank u for the request! Tried to incorporate the idea here as much as possible 🩷

Warnings ⚠️: none in particular. Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Shibuya Ward (Tokyo)...

Looking at herself one last time in the mirror, (Y/n) nodded her head and took her bag and ran out of her room to the main entrance of thr house. Today was the first day in months where she could relax for a bit and use up all the luxury the oilitside world provided. While she herself wasn't as restricted as the players were, she had certain rules to abide by as well. Some of them were only using the phone Blue Lock provided her, no internet unless she was told by Ego or Anri, no sweets or unhealthy food and similar things. In the past few days she indulged herself in them, as they will soon return to Blue Lock for a special announcement. (Y/n) already had some suspensions on what it was about, since Anri phoned her last night and gave some small details away.

'But for now... I will just relax.' (Y/n) sighed as she put on her shoes, just in time as her father walked out of the kitchen.

"Oh? Going already? Did you take everything?"

"Yes! Phone, wallet, disinfectant gel, wipes, the keys... everything is with me. Don't worry." (Y/n) said as her father nodded his head.

"Good, and keep your guard up. You never know how boys could be."

"Don't worry, dad. It's just Rin we are talking about, you worry too much sometimes." (Y/n) laughed in amusement as her father sighed, nodding his head.

"Yeah... a little bit, but you can't blame me. Just don't stay out for too long and call me in case you need something." Nodding her head, (Y/n) said her goodbyes and ran out of the apartment, hoping Rin's train didn't arrive yet.

'It's 8.15 right now... I need to hurry up since the train from Kamakura arrives at 8.45.' She thought, running down the street to the Shibuya station.

'Thank God it's close to my place.'

By the time (Y/n) had arrived it was 8.35 and the girl was sitting on a bench, looking through her phone. For the past few days every major news station was talking about the Blue Lock vs U-20 match, about the players, Ego and there were even articles that showed her and Anri, even talking about their roles for a bit. While (Y/n) herself was flattered by some of the words used and while the team never made her feel less important, she didn't think she did much. She was just there for her friends-

"Mom, it is her!"

"Rika, it's rude to point."

Looking up from her phone, (Y/n) saw a little girl grinning and pointing at her as the woman kept telling her to stop it.

"I am so sorry, but my daughter saw you at the Blue Lock game. You are their manager, (L/n)-san?" The woman asked nervously and (Y/n) nodded her head, getting up from her seat and walking over to them.

"Y-yes, I am. Did you enjoy the game? Both teams did a great job on the field." (Y/n) said.

'But my friends did a better one!' She thought to herself as the woman nodded her head.

"We did, your number 11 and 10 were quite something else. I never saw such strikers on our filed. My daughter here seems to be more fixated on you though." The woman admitted as the child hugged (Y/n)'s leg.

"Me? I really didn't do anything, but I am flattered." (Y/n) blushed a little and patted the girl's head.

"Not true, I really liked how you kept your cool and were on the call when needed. A lot of the girls in my class are looking forward to join some teams as managers." Rika admitted, fluttering the girl even more now.

"Really? I am happy in that case..."

'Weird... I expected this kind of attention on Rin and Isagi... not on me.'

They talked for a little bit and then the mother took Rika's hand, saying they have to be somewhere. Waving goodbye, (Y/n) sighed to herself, feeling some sort of joy that she had someone look up to her, even a little bit.

"There you are. Did you wait for too long?" Turning around, she saw Rin stopping in front of her and fixing his jacket.

"Not at all! How was the ride from Kamakura?" (Y/n) wondered as they started walking to the exit of the station.

"Crowded and loud at some points, but it's over now."

"I can only imagine, so what do you want to do now? Did you have breakfast? I know a good cafe just around the corner."

Rin nodded his head, as he indeed didn't eat anything out of nervousness, this was basically the first time he was alone like this with (Y/n). While she may just see it as a get together with him, to him it was more like a date.

"Sounds good, I am quite hungry... man it feels nice to eat the food I want and not to stick to Ego-san's food regime." Rin sighed as (Y/n) nodded along, already excited for the (f/f) at the cafe.

"I know! I still can't get over the fact how much chocolate I ate these days... I will miss it once we return~"

"So you are not resigning?" Rin suddenly asked,his heartbeat picking up a pace. (Y/n) raised her eyebrow at the question and shook her head.

"No, I really want to stay in Blue Lock as long as possible. It's weird actually... what a lot of people would view as a prison, really feels like a 2nd home... really couldn't imagine living without you guys now."

Rin felt his face turn a bright red and he coughed, the feeling of happiness bursting in his chest from those last words.

'I basically became irreplaceable to her. I am happy to get to spend the day with her alone... nobody to interrupt me or-'

"Hey! Rin! (Y/n)!" The boy groaned as he heard Chigiri's familiar voice and they both turned to look at the speedster and Bachira.

"Chigiri, Bachira you guys are here too?" (Y/n) grinned as the two stopped in front of them, taking a few deep breaths before speaking.

"We are on our way to meet up with Isagi. And you two? Wanna join us?" Rin was about to protest Bachira's idea but (Y/n) spoke up.

"We were on our way to eat something and... we had nothing planned. Maybe we can join and think of something to do together, the more the better, right?" (Y/n) said, looking at the younger Itoshi. Rin really wanted to say no, to refuse the idea as he wanted this day to be all about him and (Y/n). But as he looked between the two teammates and back at (Y/n), reluctantly nodding his head.

"Sure... sounds fun."

As if just waiting for the opportunity, Chigiri bolted and took (Y/n)'s hand to lead her to the cafe they would meet up with Isagi.

"I know you tried to spend the day alone with (Y/n)."

"What's it to you even?" Rin asked as he glared at Bachira, who just sent him a wicked grin.

"I am just warning you now... don't do that again. (Y/n) is too precious to be with a guy with brother issues." That struck a nerve, which was quite visible to Bachira and he laughed while walking in front of him.

"(Y/n) will pick me in the end anyways, you better get used to the idea." Bachira snickered, knowing he pissed the younger Itoshi off.

'That little bastard... like hell he will.'

"Man, and Teieri-san didn't say what this phase is even about?" Bachira pouted as he leaned his head against (Y/n)'s shoulder. Chigiri ignored the slight irritation he felt at that and spoke up too.

"Whatever it is, at least we will be in this together."

"True! It would be so weird with one of you guys missing, by the way when did Isagi say he will arrive?"

"He texted me saying he was on the way... that was like 30 minutes ago."

As the trio were chatting, Rin kept sending them cold stares from time to time. Well, they were more directed at Bachira and Chigiri, who stole the two spots next to (Y/n), so he was now forced to sit at the other side.

'Lucky bastards.'

"Huh? (Y/n) and Rin, you two are here too?" The group of 4 turned to look at Isagi, who had a mixture of confusion and delight on his face.

"Finally decided to show up, Lukewarm." Rin noted as the boy sat next to him, giving him a glare.

"Shut up, the traffic was bad. Anyways, how have you guys been? Feels nice to be outside."

Isagi's voice turned softer once he turned to look at (Y/n).

'Bachira get your head away from there!' The boy thought with a tight smile.

"Will anyone else join us?"

"I texted Nagi and told him where we will be. Hiori lives too far away so he couldn't meet up with us. Niko couldn't come and Kunigami had something to do today." Isagi explained to Chigiri as the group hear some loud noises nearby.

"Huh? Hey, the rest of the team is here too." (Y/n) said as she got up, making Bachira groan as he sat up straight.

"And they didn't call us? Rude." The yellow-eyed boy snickered as he ran to where the group was.

"It's not like we did either."

"At least we are together now." (Y/n) whispered to Chigiri as they followed Bachira, leaving Isagi and Rin alone.

"This is so annoying. I planned this day out for (Y/n) and I... not you lukewarms."

Isagi snapped his head to Rin and sent him a nasty look.

"Well I am happy it didn't work out for you... Poor (Y/n) would have suffered from the boredom. Also don't try to hard, (Y/n) might not show it too much, but it's clear that I am her favorite."

"What do you want to say with that, Isagi?" Rin challenged the smug boy.

"Nothing~"

'Damn this team.' Rin thought as he followed after Isagi. His cold look softening a little when he saw (Y/n) laugh at some joke Aryu said.

'At least she is happy... I think this won't be that bad.'

Later during the day the group went to an arcade where Nagi was waiting for them. While they were playing, (Y/n) and Aryu sneaked out to look at some of the stores nearby. But that moment was short lived, as 10 minutes later Otoya, Reo and Karasu joined them, having noticed the duo missing. And while Reo was trying to let him to buy her something, Aryu was getting scolded for 'stealing their time with the manager.'

"Not my fault you all have the fashion sense of a rat and (Y/n) rather does these things with me." Which earned him a wave of protests from Otoya and Karasu, saying they dressed rather well.

"The pizza here is very nice~ Why aren't you playing?" (Y/n) asked she took a bite from her slice, looking at Yukimiya in confusion.

"No reason, I like bowling more when watching. The pizza is good?" The boy asked, looking over her shoulder a few times.

"It is! It's good such a bowling alley has good food. I am still confused how you got the U-20 team into playing with you."

"Beats me. Isagi and Bachira sure find trouble sometimes." Yukimiya said, both watching as Rin scored a point for them.

"Go Rin!" The group cheered.

"Here! You can have my piece too." Yukimiya said, handing it to the reluctant girl.

"This is your thought. I can't-"

"Yes you can. I ate too much there past few days anyways." Yukimiya laughed nervously as he watched Baro scare one of the U-20 players away.

'Thank God she isn't paying attention to them." The brown-haired boy thought, smiling fondly at the girl.

"Did you get any rest since the game? It was quite stressful on everyone." (Y/n) asked, looking at the brown-haired boy.

"Sure, I slept a lot these past few days. I am all ready for whatever Ego-san has prepared now. And you?"

"Yeah, I can't wait till we are back at the headquarters. I missed the chaos a little."

(Y/n) said as Otoya and Karasu joined them.

'Whatever Ego-san had planned will sure be a mess... but a good one.' (Y/n) thought as the four started talking about their break while the rest were enjoying the small competition with the U-20 team.

[moody-alcoholic]

Special Delivery Service

Chapter 13 - The Gun

Summary: Simon x reader, 4.4k words. When retail therapy turns into needing actual therapy. CW: descriptions of weapons, fictional terrorist attack, blood, death, use of a weapons, vomit, bombs, implied suicide bombings, PTSD, I’m European I know noting about guns, hurt/comfort.

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Enjoy <3

You spend the whole morning watching videos on how to use a pistol. You think you’re getting the hang of it. It’s not too difficult, there’s the safety and then you pull back on the barrel to load it, or something. You’ve seen that in films people pulling back on the barrel. It’s harder then you think, maybe it’s because it has no magazine in it.

You spend the next few hours almost turning the flat upside down looking for some, eventually you find one in the sock door of all places. It has bullets in it, you take them all out and count them all before putting them back. So there are 10, you don’t know if that’s a lot or not.

You teach yourself how to load it and ‘cock’ it with bullet in it. You don’t even dare touching the trigger when there are bullets in it out of fear of it accidentally going off. After another hour or so of getting used it it you decide to do something else.

You look on your phone for nearby activities even though you don’t know what you want to do. There’s a shopping centre nearby you decide thats a good idea a little bit of retail therapy to take your mind off missing Simon. Maybe you’ll buy him something nice. That makes you smile, now it’s a mission; find something nice for Simon.

You go to put the gun back in the drawer but stop yourself. You should take it with you. It’s an intrusive thought if you’d ever heard one, it would be kind of cool though. Like spies from TV. No it’s dangerous. You feel a race of adrenaline at the thought of going out in public with a weapon hidden on you. Maybe this is good to get you over your awkwardness around them, exposure therapy.

It makes you smile, okay you’re going to do it. You go into the bedroom pulling clothes out. Tight jeans and a long baggy shirt. You stand looking in the mirror in the bathroom. You place it in the back of your jeans first, it’s uncomfortable and sticking out, besides if you bend down it would be easy to spot.

You take it out looking at it in your hand. You shove it barrel first down the front of your jeans against your hip. It feels better there and the baggy shirt hides it well enough. You grab your bag, yeah if you carry your bag on that side you wouldn’t even know. You feel an excited buzz run through you. You were actually going to do this. You smile psyching yourself up. You’re just going to the store, 20 minutes tops. No one will ever have to know, especially not Simon.  

—————————— 

It had been longer then 20 minutes but you didn’t feel as worried as you thought you would on the walk to the centre. It's busy early evening people on their way home from work stopping off to do some shopping on the way home. You don’t really know what you want to get for Simon, you’re basically window shopping until you get drawn into lush just from the smell alone. 

“Need any help?” The chipper employee asks. It’s the first time someone has talked to you. It makes the weapon feel suddenly heavy in your jeans. You move your bag to cover it. 

“Just looking, thank you.” You say nodding back at her. There’s that spike of adrenaline again. You like the feeling of having something on you that no one knows about. It makes you feel strangely powerfully. You’re looking at the tubs of moisturiser as your phone rings It’s Simon, it makes you smile as you pull the phone up to your ear. You don’t even get chance to say hello.  

“Where are you, I tried calling the flat you weren’t there.” He says, he sounds annoyed. 

“Yeah I went out, I’m shopping.” You say stopping to look at the body soaps. Maybe you’ll buy Johnny one, his nickname being Soap, it makes you smile. 

“Where?” He asks. 

“I don’t know some shopping centre down the road.” You say frowning, now you can definitely hear an edge of something in his voice. It sends a shiver up your spine as you see a person running past the front of the store. 

“Which centre is it called Mayland?” He asks quickly. You try to look out the front of the store to see but there are more people running. Then you hear it loud pops, people screaming. Your breath catches in your throat. 

“I don’t know Simon, what’s wrong?” You ask. The woman in the store grips your arm making you jump. 

“Hey,” You shout at her as she pulls you in the store hitting the button to close the store front. 

“There’s a shooter in the centre.” Her voice shaking eyes wide. You don’t believe her for a second then you hear more popping making you gasp. The weapon you have stashed feels heavy and cold against your skin. You swallow hard as the metal grate slams shut on the ground. 

“Simon there’s a shooter in the shopping centre.” You say following the woman who’s pulling you to the back of the store. 

“I know we’re on our way where are you?” He asks. Your minds blank you can’t remember. You look at the employee as she pulls you behind the counter. You can hear screaming and more shots. 

“Lush,” you whisper as she shushes you. 

“Stay exactly were you are okay? We’ll come find you.” 

“Okay.” You reply. “Come quickly.” 

“As fast as we can.” He replies then hangs up. Your hands are shaking as you put your phone away. 

“Do you think I should turn the lights off?” The woman next to you asks, she’s young probably the same age as you. Her name tag says Hannah, you look at her her makeup running down her face. You don’t know what to do. 

“Where’s the switch?” you ask as quiet as you can. There are still shots going off, glass shattering, people screaming.  

“In the back.” She says. 

“Maybe we should hide in there.” You say, she nods. You both get up slowly creeping across the floor to the employees only room. You look out the windows as you pass. You can’t see anyone. There’s another scream another shot. You feel sick. She reaches up with her shaking hands punching in the door code.

The door clicks open and you follow her in closing it behind you. There is no window on the door so you can’t see out. She turns the light off going over to the computer.

“We can look on the security camera.” Her voice is still shaking as she types in the password to the computer. 

“Where does that door go?” You ask pointing at the other door in the room. 

“Access to the store room. like a big warehouse.” She says as she pulls up the security camera up. Good, there’s another way out we won’t get trapped here. That makes you feel better, the weapon on your waist doesn’t feel as heavy now. You have a way to protect yourself. And Hannah, you’ve decided you need to protect her too.

You look at the security camera, you can just about see out the front windows from the angle. With the lights off it makes it easier to see shadows of people running across past the windows. 

“Should we call the police?” She asks. You don’t know, maybe you should. You have no idea what to do you just want to get out of here. Then you remember Simon is coming, which means the police are probably already on their way. 

“I think they know about it. My boyfriend he’s.. army, he said he was on his way. We should stay were we are.” You say trying to sound reassuring. She nods looking back up at the cameras. You can still hear noise outside, not so much screaming any more but pops and smashing. 

“How many do you think there are?” She asks. 

“I don’t know.” You shake your head. You don’t want to speculate. There is a loud crashing noise so loud it makes you both jump and turn your heads to the door. It sounded like a bomb. Maybe that's it, it’s over. There’s more screaming. It’s not over. You look back over at the monitor. 

Hurry up Simon, please hurry up.

You see movement on the camera, you have to squint to look but there is definitely something there. You’re holding your breath as the glass window of the store smashes. Hannah lets out a screech, you almost want to shout at her to shush her. Your heart is pounding too fast for you to think. You should leave, this door is only made of wood. It’s not going to hold off a man with a machine gun. 

“We should leave.” You whisper, pointing at the door behind her. Your eyes are still glued to the monitor as the man steps into the store. 

“What about your boyfriend?” She asks her voice catching in her throat. Shit, he did tell you to stay where you are. Maybe if he knew the guy was in the store he would tell you to move. You watch as he walks up to the counter, the out the range of the camera.

You sneak up to the door pressing your ear up against it. You can hear his steps. You’re holding your breath again, listening to each step, you close your eyes. Each step sounds almost deafening you’re listening so closely. 

Then a phone rings. Your eyes snap open looking at Hannah.

You don’t have time to think, you don’t have time. You push yourself up to your feet rushing for the door in the room as you yank it open. Hannah is still fumbling with her phone. Shit shit shit. You don’t think you just run down the corridor hearing Hannah sobbing behind you.

There are loud shots behind you, your heart is going so fast you feel like you can't breathe. You realise maybe she should have been leading cause the next door you go through leads you back into the shopping centre. You feel sick seeing bodies with blood pooling on the floor. You don’t have time to stop grabbing Hannah's wrist as she sobs, pulling her through into the centre. 

You’re looking round for an exit, your head focused on the ceiling as you hear more shots to the left of you. You slowly start to move to the right realising you’re still gripping Hannah’s wrist.

You see an open door to what looks like a service corridor. You pull her over to it. You pray this leads to the loading dock and you can get out. You go through the door at the very end it opens into a store room. It’s dark automatic lights flick on as you walk in.

That’s good it means no one is in here. You let go of Hannah’s wrist, she sits down on a box sobbing in her hands. You start making your way across the room weaving round the shelves, maybe you could just stay here, the room is big and it’s at the back off the centre. You see another door with exit above it.

You turn to call Hannah but when you do a door opens. You panic jumping over boxes tripping over goods as you hear screaming, then an explosion. You throw yourself behind a shelf the smell of smoke filling the room. You take a step forward tripping over a box. The gun flies out from the spot you hid it. You'd completely forgotten about it.

“Shit,” You cough feeling around for it while smoke fills the room. Your fingers find the cold metal and you pull yourself up. You take a look back as the other side of the store room, there’s a small fire starting you think.

You feel sick the smell of burnt flesh in the air. You’re too scared to look, you should look, you should check if she’s still alive. You know she’s not, deep down you know. You need to move that would have been loud people could be on there way over to you. You force yourself to move pushing open the door.

It’s another corridor. Maybe you should head back to the Lush store, wait for Simon. You walk through a door it leads into a room that’s clearly being renovated. You hear shouting, it makes you jump you look at the weapon in your hands. You can see the what would be storefronts are borded up. The place smells of paint and wood. There are temporary walls around the place.

You press the safety off and pull the barrel back just like you saw in the video’s you watched. It feels wrong in your hands. There’s more shouting, you’re not thinking just heading towards it. You don’t know why the voice sounds familiar, everything sounds wrong, sounds muffled in your ears the only thing you can hear is your pounding chest. 

“On your fucking knees!” Someone shouts. Johnny? No way, it almost doesn’t seem real. You’re weaving round the wall’s as you see movement ahead of you. You freeze in place you see the back off a man, a terrorist. You don’t see Johnny but you hear them all shouting. There is another voice too. You bring the weapon up, its shaking in your hand, you aim for his back and fire.

The weapon goes off as you watch his body fall to the floor, you killed someone you’ve never done that before. You’re not paying attention your ears still ringing. You grip the weapon as hard as you can, it feels heavy in your hands, the metal cold like the first time you picked it up. You walk over to the man eyes locked on him as you watch the blood pooling out the mans chest. You did that. You killed him.

“Soap! Clear the room!” It’s Simon’s voice, it’s Simon’s hand on your shoulder. He pries the pistol out your hands standing in front of you. You look up at him, his scary mask all of a sudden doesn’t look that scary. His eyes are wide looking down at you, you can’t tell what he’s thinking, if he’s mad or scared. Maybe he’s happy, he doesn’t seem happy.

“I-I- didn’t-t-” You stammer as Simon holds your shoulders up, you feel tears come as your legs start to shake the smell of blood in air fills your nose. There’s a chill in the air it makes you shiver.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you you’re okay.” He wraps his arms round you, you’re not expecting it. Your pressed up uncomfortably against his vest but you don’t care. Your legs give way and you fall to the floor being guided by Simon’s arms.

“There was a bomb they killed Hannah, they found us in the lush store, I don’t know there was a fire.” You say sobbing into his chest. Your voice catching in your throat, all you can think about is the smell of burning flesh.  

“Shh, it’s okay. You're safe.” You look over his shoulder tears still streaming down your face as you see the body laying still on the floor. He probably had a family, he probably had a wife and kids. You killed a father, a husband, a person. You feel sick, gripping Simon’s vest tighter.

“It’s clear.” You hear Johnny as he comes back into the room. You look over at him, you can’t tell what he’s thinking. You don’t care. 

“What happened!?” You hear a voice behind you, a door closing. You’re still being pressed into Simon’s arms as you start to shiver feeling suddenly cold. 

“She shot him.” Simon says.

“Shit, get her out of here. Gaz, Soap I want this place secure and no police til we’re ready.” You hear John shouting orders. Simon helps you too your feet, you look over at the man laying in a pool of blood as your legs feel like jelly and you’re forced to grip Simon’s vest. 

“The weapon is it registered?” You hear John walk up behind you. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, or any of them.

“It’s mine.” Simon nods. 

“Then how the hell did she get hold of it?” John says you hear him gritting his teeth as you shiver.

“I stole it.” You croak, you hear him sigh. 

“Get her out of here.” John says before walking away. You hear him shouting in the distance as Simon leads you out the room.  

“I’m sorry.” You say. He doesn’t say anything. The place is mostly cleared out now. You’re walking to the side of Simon with his arm round your waist. You wipe tears from your eyes as he leads you to the main exit of the shopping centre, there is a police cordon set up and you can see people looking around. His hand leaves your waist and he sits you down on a bench. 

“Are you angry at me?” You ask still shivering. He sighs like he’s trying to choose his next words carefully 

“What you did was incredibly dangerous.” He says, he doesn’t sound angry, his voice is low almost like he’s disappointed. It makes more tears well up in your eyes. You see an officer and paramedics come over. You don’t need them, seeing the officers makes you feel sick. 

“Listen,” Simon says bending down in front of you forcing you to look in his eyes, they’re hard digging into you. Maybe he is mad, his hands grip your shoulders like he wants to shake you. 

“You didn’t shoot any one okay? It’s really important you understand that.” You swallow hard nodding. 

“Say it, tell me you understand.” He demands.

“I understand.” You nod as the officer makes it over to you, Simon’s hands leave your shoulder. 

“She’s fine, just shock.” He says as he stands back up, his hands leaving your body make you feel sick and unsupported. Bile rises in your throat as you look up at the officer. You can’t stop it just having time to part your knees as you double over vomiting your stomach up.

You barely have time to regain your composure before you hear loud pops from back inside the shopping centre. Your head snaps in that direction as you see Simon already running back in. You feel the officer grabbing your arm trying to pull you up as you watch Simon disappear round a corner. You want to call out to him tell him to come back. 

“Come with us love,” You hear one of the paramedics say as they drape a blanket over your shoulders. It distracts you reminding you how chilly you feel. The popping has stopped. You let the paramedics lead you to the back of an ambulance.  

——————————

It feels like forever waiting for Simon to come back. You sit in the ambulance and get checked over while an officer interviews you about what happened. You tell him everything, well almost everything. About hiding in Lush, then running through to the store room, the explosion, then bumping into the masked man. You keep the fact he’s your boyfriend to yourself. And the fact you killed someone.

He was a terrorist, he deserved to die. Hannah didn’t deserve to die. You should have gone back and checked. You shouldn't have left her. What if she was still alive and you left her to die. Then you might has well killed her.

When the officer is done he offers you a lift home. You decline, telling him you’ll walk. Simon’s flat is just a few streets away anyway. You hop out the back of the ambulance when the paramedics give you the all clear. They give you some leaflet about mental health resources and ask if you would rather stay with a friend for the night.

You tell them you don’t live alone and they let you go as you hand the blanket back to them. You don’t want to go to the flat. You want to sit and wait for Simon, your body betrays you though forcing you to walk towards the flat. You don’t remember the walk clutching the flyer in your hand.

You make into the flat, it feels cold, empty. You take your phone out your pocket you see a missed call from Simon. You don’t want to call him back. You stand there looking at your phone not knowing what to say. You text him to say you’re at the flat then throw your phone on the sofa.

You don’t remember how you ended up on the bathroom floor dry heaving into the toilet but that’s where you are. You strip your clothes feeling like they’re sticking against your skin. You get into the shower turning the heat up and sinking to the floor pressing yourself up into the corner. You let yourself cry, sobbing as loud as you want letting the hot water sting your skin. 

“Baby?” You open your eyes, the shower has been turned off and Simon is standing over you. You shiver as he turns round to grab a towel. You move going to stand up, your legs feeling stiff. He reaches down helping you to your feet, wrapping the towel round you. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks pulling your chin up to look at him. His brow creased as he looks round your face. 

“I killed a guy.” You say, you killed Hannah too. 

“I know it’s okay,” he wraps his arms round you pulling you up to his chest. His hand strokes your hair. You close your eyes breathing him in, he smells of smoke.

He leads you out the bathroom to the bedroom. You sit on the end of the bed as he brings your bag over passing you your pyjamas. You take them sitting with them in your hand like getting dressed is going to take too much energy. You look up at him standing over you. 

“I’m sorry,” You say. He bends down in front of you his eyes not leaving your face. His hand lands on your knee. 

“You have nothing to be sorry about. Okay?” You look in his eyes you don’t know if you believe him. You just stare at him. 

“I’m not angry at you no one is. You did what you had to do, you don’t get to feel guilty about that.” You nod at his words. His hand comes up to cup your cheek and he leans over kissing you. It’s a long kiss slow, one you let yourself melt into.

When he breaks away you change and crawl into bed. He gets in behind you wrapping you up in his arms. You feel his chest on your back as you stroke his arm, he plants little kisses on your head and neck. He lays there with you until you fall asleep.

——————————

Simon doesn’t sleep, at least not for a few hours. As soon as he was convinced you were sound asleep he slipped out of bed. He’s not sure what to do, he’s gone through the anger phases, the panic phases. Now he’s on self doubt.

It’s his fault you got the gun, he’s already had the bollocking from Price. He’s mad at himself for forgetting it was there, for letting you go out when they knew an attack was coming. He shouldn’t have bought you. It’s too late now, and now you’ve killed someone.

He picks up the leaflet about mental health thumbing through it. Maybe you’d be fine, maybe you’d just get on with life. When he came back after not being able to get hold of you and found you curled up asleep in the shower he knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

He sighs putting it down. Price won’t be mad at him for long in fact he’s probably already over it, Price would know what to do how to play this. Simon has no idea, PTSD isn’t really talked about much, besides when you get used to the killing it’s not a problem. 

He was going to shoot him. Simon reminds himself. A second before you did he had already moved his finger to the trigger. His phone buzzes in his pocket. He moves out onto the balcony to answer it, it’s Price.

“Hey,” Simon says not knowing what to expect. It’s late he didn’t think he would hear back from him until the morning.

“Congratulations lieutenant, they want to pin medals on us all.” He says. Simon can hear the smirk in his voice. 

“I don’t want any medals.” He replies.

“You and me both.” Price sighs. Simon just wants to get back to normality. Maybe this is the new normal now. Being called up anytime the government needs help. He matches Price’s sigh. 

“How’s she doing?” he asks.

“I don’t know.” 

“She talked yet?” 

“No.” There is a silence on the line. Simon can hear Price inhaling, Simon smiles. Smoking a cigar after a job well done. 

“Take her back down to London tomorrow, just be with her, try and get her to talk.” He says. Simon knows what he needs to do. He needs to figure out how broken you are. If you’re going to need therapy. 

“What about debrief?” 

“I’ll get MacTavish to take notes.” Simon smiles. 

“Thanks cap.” He says, he’s happy, he wants to spend time with you be with you, close to you. 

“Yeah well, could have gone a lot worse.” Price says, he sounds sad. It could have been a lot worse. You could have missed, killed him or Johnny. You could have been killed in the attack. Simon grips the balcony rail looking out over the city. A city that has once again been destroyed by another attack. He lets out a sigh. 

“Get some rest Simon, don’t be too hard on yourself.” Simon smiles, Price knows him too well.

“Will do.” Simon says before Price hangs up. He walks back into the flat, through to the bedroom. He looks at your sleeping form curled up in the bed. He pulls his shirt off climbing into bed behind you pulling his arms back around you.

You murmurer pressing yourself up against him. He shushes you nuzzling his head into your neck, breathing you in. She’ll be alright, I’ll make sure she’s alright. He silently promises himself, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

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