#but! i would like to continue with the world regardless
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arkaniske · 6 hours ago
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Where the Sea Awaits
AO3 Link * Chapter One: I ask for enough and no more 3300 words * SFW * Jayvik * Selkie!AU Beta read by @kitcatkim Summary: When Jayce Talis discovers a stranger cast ashore, he can't shake the feeling that the sea itself has intertwined their fates. The steady rhythm of the tides he's spent his life mastering is suddenly disrupted, and as he delves into the mystery of a man seemingly torn from the depths, an unexpected bond begins to form.
“The ocean never takes sides, son. She is not cruel, and she is not kind—she just is. Never think you have tamed her; she will never bend to your will. All you can do is ask for her to treat you fairly.”
The ocean is an entity of ancient powers, never to be tamed and never to yield. It is an odd thing how something so brutal and violent can whisper the softest praise to those who know its rhythm. How gentle the lullaby is carried on a salt-tinged breeze only to coax the unexperienced heart into a false sense of security. For beneath its surface, the weight of storms hibernates. The kind of fury that carves mountains into cliffs and swallows ships whole. Like sharp teeth it gnaws at the edges of land, the jagged scars left behind as an ominous reminder to never step near when it’s thrashing about. It has no mercy, no mind for the lives it shapes or destroys.
And yet, even then, there is nothing like witnessing the sunlight dance on waves. Glittering like broken glass, stretching so far beyond the human eye it simply becomes part of the heavens. The seafoam becomes speckled clouds on an ever-blue sky, floating and twisting as if they join on the dance. It bathes in all the colours of the world, shifting and forever changing, and the very heartbeat of the earth will echo in the waves.
The ocean is alive.
Jayce Talis had spent a lifetime learning to respect it. He knew the tides like the lines on his own palms, heard its murmurs in the sails of his boat before the winds even changed, and felt weight of a promised storm tug on his bones long before dark clouds approached. For him, the ocean was both a master and a companion, it had made him fluent in the language of tides and waves. The rhythm of the ocean was echoing through him, aligning his heartbeat to follow its whims.
He rose every morning before first light, the smell of salt and damp wood filling the cabin he'd built himself along the shore. He’d stoke what little embers were left from the night before and watch as the scruffy cat slipped out from its home in the firewood pile. Whenever the cat allowed Jayce would give it a little scratch behind its ear, almost smiling at the soft few huffs of purr before the cat demanded to be let out. He wasn’t sure when he had gained the companion through the years, but regardless, it was the only creature seeking his company out here.
By the time the sun kissed the horizon, Jayce was already at the docks. The walk from his cabin to the local village was barely half an hour, but it was enough to keep the people there at a comfortable distance. He would always make time to greet his mother as they crossed paths to their respective jobs, sometimes earning him a pouch of cookies and a sandwich. He would kiss her forehead, thank her and promise he would invite her for dinner. They both knew he was lying. They knew as night came crawling so would he to her table, to find warmth in a bowl of stew before continuing his journey home alone. He felt guilty, but not guilty enough to hold his promise.
Sometimes she would follow him to the docks, filling the silence with the latest gossips of the town. More often he would find himself at the docks in silence, the village still waking as the sky broke into dawn. It became a sanctuary during these hours, the world around him still wrapped in a sleepy haze. In these quiet moments, the ocean felt like it was his alone. The soft creak of the dock shifting with the waves, the rush of water lapping over the stony shores—it was a melody he had known his whole life, one that he happily hummed along to.
Just as the first sliver of sunlight spilled across the waves Jayce stepped into his boat. Lungs filled with the salty ocean air, the tide vibrating through the planks of his vessel—this was when Jayce truly would awaken. His shoulders rolled with yesterday’s soreness, his fingers cracking under the pressure of carrying old rope and buckets for today’s catch, and his heart beating eagerly in his chest as the first satisfying cough of the motor woke the seagulls.
Jayce guided the boat away from the docks with steady hands, leaving the village behind to become nothing more than a blur of green and grey in the distance. The open waters ahead of him stretched endlessly. It was calm and quiet, its surface a mirror of gold and blue only broken by the gentle swell of waves. It was an overwhelming freedom that settled into his chest, shoulders lowering as their tension finally released him.
The vessel’s motor slowed down as Jayce reached his usual spot, the currents whispering promises of a good haul. He let the boat drift as he moved to the stern and uncoiled the first net before pausing. Standing there with the familiar weight of rope in his hands he stared into the waters.
“Grant me a steady hand and an honest catch, Let the waters guide me, and the nets be kind To the sea, I ask for enough and no more.”
The prayer came as natural as breathing. Old words his father once had taught him when he was young and running around the same old planks he was standing on now.
“Remember,” He had said, net in one hand and his son’s shoulder in the other, “The ocean never takes sides, son. She is not cruel, and she is not kind—she just is. Never think you have tamed her; she will never bend to your will. All you can do is ask for her to treat you fairly.”
At the time Jayce had not understood the weight of his fathers’ words. But then again, he had never seen the waters claim a life. No, that came two years later when he watched the ocean drag his father to its depths, never to release him.
At the sound of his net hitting the water, Jayce started the ritual of his day. Each step, from the casting of the nets to the patient wait that follow, was ingrained in him. There was no rush, no need to chase time out here. The ocean worked at its own pace, and Jayce had long since learned to move with it. Out here he was nothing more than the foam drifting along lazy waves.
The haul of the nets was no different, he would thank the ocean for its bounty before starting the pull. The strain was familiar, almost comforting. Rope biting into his hands, muscles of his back and shoulders burning with the effort, but it was a pain he welcomed. The glint of fish breaking the surface, their scales flashing like silver in the sunlight—it bore a satisfaction he could never find elsewhere. This was honest work, the kind that left him tired but whole.
He worked quietly, the sounds of the ocean filling the spaces where words might have been. As the sun had made its course across the sky, setting fire to the heavens in reds and oranges, he started his trek back to shore. A boat full of fish, hands covered in scales and salt clinging to his hair, the familiar bite of exhaustion crept along his shoulders. He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Handing off the haul to the Dockmaster was smooth enough, a transaction done countless times. The owners of the docks, the Kirammans, had always seen that his pockets were filled fairly—whether out of sentimentality or respect for his work, Jayce was not sure.
“Good haul today?” The Dockmaster called, his voice carrying over the water.
Jayce nodded as he eased the boat into place. “Enough.” He replied, tying the boat off swiftly. It took little effort to carry the crates of fish over to the Dockmaster. After a quick and thorough inspection, the man gave him an approving nod.
“All good! Same time tomorrow?” The man asked.
“Always.” Jayce replied.
As the Dockmaster directed his workers to haul the heavy crates towards the market, Jayce retrieved a smaller bucket he’d set aside. The lesser catch wasn’t much but it would make a fine meal, his mother would make sure of that.
Jayce carried the spoils of the day carefully as he made his way from the docks. The warmth the sun had carried was starting to ebb away with the promise of nightfall. Shadows stretched long across the path leading to his mother’s home and with it the quiet of the village. It was a small place, nestled between the cliffs and the sea, its streets winding like vines between clustered houses. The mountains and dense forest laying behind keeping them all sheltered from the world beyond.
As Jayce walked an occasional villager would greet him in passing—a nod here, a wave there, a tired smile. Familiar faces offering simple pleasantries, their voices carrying warmth and kindness. Some just for greetings, others more direct requests.
“Jayce, if you have a moment this week, could have a look at my boat’s engine?” one might say, or, “The pulley systems’ been sticking again; you’re the only one who can make sense of it!”
Jayce always responded politely, his smile easy and his words brief. He knew their problems by heart and hand, having patched, repaired, and coaxed life back into more vessels than he cared to count. He didn’t mind helping, it was one of the many ways he carried on the Talis legacy. His father and grandfather before him had both been fixtures in this village, known not for only their work on the water but also for the care they offered to others. The Talis name was spoken with a kind of quiet respect—earned through years of steady hands, honest work and a willingness to lend those hands wherever they were needed.
The village mourned with him and his mother when his father was taken. Years of gratitude pouring back on the two left behind, wrapping them in a comfort only a family could provide. Jayce was forever grateful, repaying in one of the few ways he knew—continuing his father’s work with the same tools. His hands carried the same calluses, his shoulders the same weight, and when the villagers asked for his aid, he could never bring himself to say no.
Even now, as exhaustion pulled at him and the thought of his mother’s warm kitchen awaiting him, he couldn’t help but mentally sort the requests he’d received along the way. later, he’d make time. He always did.
That was for tomorrow. For now, though, he let the thought of warm food pull him in the direction of his mother. He tightened the grip on the bucket as he approached, light spilling from the windows to welcome him.
The door opened before Jayce could knock, the familiar creak of hinges followed by the scent of rosemary and wood smoke. His mother was standing in the doorway, hands on her hips, eyes narrowing slightly as he took in his appearance.
“Late again,” she said, her tone held more amusement than bite, “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten where you mamá lives.”
Jayce gave her a sheepish smile and lifted the bucket to show it off. “Caught up with work, sorry.” He replied.
“Hm-hmm.” She reached out, taking the bucket from him before stepping aside. “Thank you, mijo. Now, go sit down and we’ll have a meal before you keel over.”
Jayce didn’t argue. He stepped inside, the warmth of the house wrapping around him like a blanket. The small home was inviting as always, every corner touched with his mother’s care. Bundles of herbs hung in neat rows from the beams above, their faint earthy aroma mingling with the rich smell of whatever she had been cooking. The walls lined with shelves, jars of dried plants and tinctures neatly labelled all in her tidy handwriting.
Before he could even sink into one of the chairs his mother had placed a bowl of hearty stew in front of him. Steam rose in soft curls, carrying the aroma of herbs and rich broth. Chunks of tender fish floated among the slices of carrot, potato, and onion. It was the kind of meal that warmed from the inside out, simple but full of care.
“Go on, eat up.” Ximena said, setting down a mug of tea and a thick slice of bread next to the bowl. “You look like you’ve been dragged through the tide.”
Jayce chuckled softly, picking up the spoon and starting to eat. Every bite carried warmth that seeped into his bones, washing away the weariness of the day. His mother joining him, her voice light and easy as she shared the village’s latest happenings. How the neighbours couldn’t decide between goats or chickens, how she had an extra stubborn patch in her garden that refused to grow, how Jarle’s bones said it would be stormy tomorrow.
Jayce knew Jarle was wrong. Tomorrow would be fine.
*+*+*+*+*
By the time they had finished their meal, he felt lighter. The weight of the ocean no longer pulling on his mind but rather a gentle buzz in the back of his head. He lingered at the table, cradling the mug of tea between his hands. His mother cleaning off the table swiftly, giving him a look when he tried to offer his help. “You could stay the night,” she said, her tone casual but eyes soft with concern. She settled across from him again, hands folding in front of her. “It is getting late, and the walk back isn’t getting any shorter.” Jayce smiled faintly, shaking his head. “I need to feed the cat.” He replied. Her brow lifted, lips curving into a wry smile, her affection pulling on her teasing tone. “The one you’ve yet to name after two years?” Jayce let out a quiet chuckle, taking another sip of tea to avoid answering directly. It was a poor excuse, but it was one that seemed to work. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her—he did, fiercely. The warmth of her kitchen, the sound of her voice, and the way she always seemed to know what he needed before he did—it was a comfort the cherished. But staying meant lingering, and lingering meant facing the silence that came when her stories ran dry and the quiet of the night that crept it. It was in those moments, he felt like a boy again, sitting at the same table with a hollow space where his father used to be. The walls seemed closer then, the air heavier, filled with unspoken memories he wasn’t ready to face. He didn’t realise he had let his thoughts wander until his mother placed a smaller pot with leftovers and a cloth filled with bread in front of him. She gave him a soft smile and reached out to pet his cheek. “For tomorrow.” She explained and Jayce felt the warmth in his own smile as he nodded. “Thank you, mamá.” He took the pot under one hand and tucked the bread away in the pocket of his coat. He lingered for a moment, filling his lungs with a final inhale of comfort before heading to the door. “You be safe now, Jayce.” “Always.” He leaned down and placed a kiss to her forehead, the gesture warm and familiar before taking his leave. The night air greeted him as he stepped outside, cool and crisp against his skin. The lanterns along the houses of the village creating small pools of golden light on the cobblestone. He adjusted his coat and leftovers before making his way towards home.
*+*+*+*+*
As the glow of the village lights disappeared behind him, the sound of the ocean grew stronger. The tide a constant rhythm that echoed somewhere in his chest. The walk back home felt longer than the one he had in the morning, his steps heavy with sleep. Overhead, the moon hung large and low, its silver light spilling over the road ahead, casting the world in soft and muted hues. The shadows of trees swaying gently with the whispers of wind that danced over the forest. Soon the hum of the village fell into silence too, to be replaced by the symphony of the night. The steady crash of waves against the shore, the soft chirp of insects and the far-off hoot from an owl wove together in a melody Jayce so often found himself searching for. His cabin finally came into view, a modest silhouette against the vast expanse of the forest behind it. But that was nothing compared to the endless ocean it was facing. The fat moon hanging above the sea, mirroring itself in the small waves as if it were falling in love with its own reflection. The sight tugged at something in Jayce’s chest, a quiet ache he couldn’t quite name. For a moment, he simply stood there, letting the night embrace him. A cold chill of wind pushed him along, reminding him that the sun would rise whether he slept or not. He adjusted the pot under his arm, gaze sweeping across the water one final time before he made his way to the door. Even the driftwood by the shore seemed to bask in the moon’s light. He made a mental note to haul it up in the morning and carve something out of it—perhaps a trinket or a tool handle, or even a simple decoration for his mother’s home. His eyes lingered on the log before he turned to let himself inside the cabin. Then it moved. Not by the gentle push and pull of the tide but a slow, deliberate twist. Like something dragging itself across the sand. Jayce stopped. Eyes narrowing as he tried to make out the shape, the moonlight suddenly wasn’t enough to illuminate the scene in front of him. An injured animal, perhaps? Or a seal caught too close to shore? God, he hoped he wasn’t about to adopt a dog—or worse, be eaten by a wolf. He hesitated, torn between the pull of his warm cabin and the growing worry tightening in his chest. With a quiet sigh, he turned and headed towards the beach. If it was an animal he could perhaps help, either by putting it out of its misery or giving it a gentle nudge towards the water. With every step closer the shape of the creature became cleared. It became obvious it wasn’t a piece of driftwood nor was it an animal—not the kind he was used to seeing at least. He walked quietly across the sand; he could feel himself hold his breath as tension rose in his body. Was it a beached shark? A small dugong, maybe? He quickly started thinking through all the ocean creatures he normally came across, but nothing fit what was in front of him. That was when a heart-wrenching sob echoed from it—no, not it, them. Jayce stopped in his tracks, his breath catching when the moonlight revealed pale skin glinting faintly under a mess of dark, tangled hair. It spilled over the figure’s back and shoulders, damp and matted, trailing down where thin limbs disappeared into the sand. The longer Jayce stared the less animalistic they looked, as if they were someone dragged up from the depths of the ocean itself, caught somewhere between its cruelty and grace. Jayce’s chest tightened as the realisation crashed down on him. This wasn’t an animal. It was a man.
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lavaringx · 1 day ago
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My thoughts on Palestine
I haven't made a post about Palestine yet on Tumblr, but I feel I need to speak up on all my social media because things can't go on like this anymore. Israel's goal, or at least the goal of the governing far-right, is to deport all Palestinians to Jordan. That's why they don't see West Bank settlement expansion as a demographic threat to their country. If you've ever seen any memes by pro-Israel people that say "Jordan is Palestine," that's what they mean. Currently Palestinians live in segregated West Bank islands with no rights in Israel and no state of their own. Yes, I'm aware that there are Palestinian citizens of Israel, but there are also 3 million West Bank Palestinians and 2 million Gazans who do not. Israel cannot annex the West Bank unless it either a). Gives up its Jewish majority, b). maintains the current system of segregation with Palestinians as second class citizens or c). Orders a mass expulsion of Palestinians, which is the goal.
The only solution to this that doesn't involve the destruction of Israel is the two-state solution, which I support, but the U.S. government does not. With the exception of a few brave souls on the left end of the democratic party, most U.S. politicians are perfectly content to allow the status quo to continue, with some Republicans even openly calling for Israel to just annex the West Bank, destroy the Al-Aqsa mosque and build the third temple, Palestinians be damned. I haven't forgotten how Biden disgustingly vetoed a U.N. resolution that would have granted the Palestinians full U.N. membership, and we all know that Trump is going to be even worse. The U.S. wants a one-state Israel, regardless of what the politicians lie through their teeth.
I understand the Israeli position, I really do. You are afraid that, if given the chance, Palestinians will launch another, even bigger October 7th against your people. But you must understand that Palestinians have human rights too, and those human rights are currently being violated by Israel. I have no love for Hamas or Hezbollah. They are backed by Iran's tyrannical theocracy, which, because I am consistent in my belief in human rights, I too oppose. But Palestinian human rights are routinely violated on the dime of the U.S. taxpayer, and that's the difference. The Palestinian situation represents a moral failure on the part of the West, much like the Vietnam War and the Iraq War, that makes it hard for the rest of the world to take us seriously when we (rightfully) call out the human rights abuses of Iran, Russia or North Korea.
Things look pretty bleak right now. The only way to make Israel accept a two-state solution is to deny them aid unless they end West Bank settlement expansion, but neither party has the moral fiber necessary to make such an ultimatum. Even if we get lucky and a progressive is elected President at some point, a future Republican or Centrist Democrat could undo it four years later. It is entirely possible that under Trump, the Israeli far-right plan to expel the Palestinians in the West Bank will come to fruition, snuffing out the Palestinian cause forever. But somebody has to take a stand. Perhaps it's the Irish blood in me, but I can't just sit by and watch my country commit a gross injustice. My conscience wouldn't be able to take it if I remained silent. If the worst comes to pass, at least I tried.
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serpentface · 6 months ago
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Faiza performing the Kagnoma Odo (pretty literally 'lion dance'), a weapons dance and one of the more important ritual duties of Odonii priestesses. A relatively new addition to this traditional dance involves the musket as the primary weapon, which is fired mid-twirl into the ground at the climax of the dance. Faiza is experiencing an 'oh fuck' moment because her shot is more than ideally diagonal, but she’s being so cool with it.
This is a wholly ceremonial performance at the onset of the pilgrimage, performed in full regalia and lion skin (of the small, semi-domesticated strain) but no armor. It’s also distinctly a display of political allegiance between the powerful and beloved Odonii priesthood (and its loyal military) with the increasingly reviled and destabilized imperial family, with Faiza prominently wearing a bracelet of the royal serpent, which was gifted (along with the musket) by the usoma Stavis Amanti himself (Usoma is the Wardi word for king, which has been retained in the context of emperors).
The Kagnoma Odo is the ultimate demonstration of the Odonii as an embodiment of the Lion Face of God and living vessel of military might and sovereignty, demonstrating her fitness and proficiency with weapons and as a spiritual unifier for soldiers. It is accompanied by drumming and occurs in stages, running through the three keymost weapons used in war- the spear, the sword, and the musket. The musket is of the most significance, given the weapon has developed a particular esteem as the ultimate embodiment of might and superiority. Assistants (almost always other priestesses, occasionally high ranking soldiers) load and prime the musket to be fired at the climax of the dance, where it is shot into the ground as the priestess leaps out of range of the shot. The firing signals the end of the dance and the rite itself.
While not the utmost exemplar of trigger discipline, only fully inducted and senior (and therefore very thoroughly trained) Odonii are permitted to perform the dance, and injuries during actual performances are quite rare (though are known to occur during training, more than a few Odonii have burns and wounds on their feet).
The most important renditions of this dance are performed upon declarations of war and before battles (in this case, generally done in full armor along with the lion pelt). It is also done during some trainings (while a dance, it is carefully choreographed to include naturalistic maneuvers of the weapons involved and helps soldiers limber up and learn to move their weapons). It is regarded as an impressive and motivating sight and a morale booster, and, seen at a distance, potentially intimidating to enemies.
A special variant of this dance is performed as means of fully incarnating the Odomache, which is done in full nudity with the body covered in the blood of the freshly sacrificed lion and cloaked in its raw pelt (the lion has become the corpse of Odomache in the moment of death, as part of its recreation of God's sacrifice). Her public, full nude appearance once (and only once) in this act is what allows the Lion Face of God to incarnate within her. Those in attendance see the spiritually vulnerable, naked human body obscured with the sanctified and deified blood and cloaked in the sanctified and deified skin. It is a merger of the contradictions of mortality and divinity, the boundaries between the two indistinct in flickering firelight and the flash of musketfire. She is witnessed by her people, dangling in between humanity and divinity and leading them in dance, and and is thus transformed.
#faiza haidamane#Not really relevant to the core post itself but I don't have anywhere to put this#Faiza is a pretty extreme cultural rarity in that she's something along the lines of agnostic (regardless of her priestesshood)#It's a culturally specific form of agnosticism where the notion that God continues to exist and interact with the world in spirit form is#questioned. She personally gets the distinct vibe that God truly and wholly died in the act of creation and is no longer present#This isn't just a Her Thing it's a concept that comes up in some strains of religious philosophy but it's pretty rare#Orthopraxy is SIGNIFICANTLY more important to the faith of the seven faced god than orthodoxy so her merely thinking this isn't#a fundamental issue as long as she performs all expected rites and behaviors and etc (which she does quite devotedly) but it would#definitely not be socially accepted to openly proclaim (least of all from a senior priestess devoted to maintaining the connection of God's#spirit to Its lands and people) and she keeps it to herself.#She is the only main character who WHOLLY doesn't expect the pilgrimage and rites to end the drought. She doesn't fully DISbelieve#either (kind of like 'well maybe?') but for her this is all a very pragmatic political maneuver to stabilize the crumbling empire and#regain the people's faith in its leadership. It's not fully cynical like it means a lot to her but in a sense of very practically protectin#her beloved empire rather than a more spiritual sentiment.#It's very complicated for her like she takes her role very seriously and cares deeply for her faith while not actually believing#in it in any personal sense. More about what it represents to her than what it's supposed to literally be.#the white calf
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tariah23 · 1 year ago
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This is such a harmful sentiment to push considering that you don’t necessarily have to be “attractive,” (beauty is subjective, yada yada) in order for men to want to harm you in the slightest… like man, what…
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#the lady talks about being followed and harassed and so on as if every woman and girl in the world regardless of their age and#‘good looks’#hasn’t experienced this and will continue to#I hate when these girls especially ones who are conveniently attractive talk about stuff like this under the guise of speaking for all#women while x-ing out most women#this easily leads into the realm of ‘you’re too ugly/fat to be assaulted ANYWAY-‘#talk that I see spread by misogynists and bird brained women like it’s such a natural thing to even say it’s actually rly scary#especially when it comes to the assault shit which is usually about power and control anyway#they don’t care what you look like#you could be covered up head to toe and someone would try to hurt you just because#I hate when women like this go online thinking that they said something open their mouths I really do#rambling#tw assault#got dudes in the comments going ‘she’s not even pretty anyway she’s like a 4 out of 10’#completely missing the message (as if they care) and see#these are the kinds of people that stuff like this attracts#stuff like this coming out of a woman’s mouth especially is so dangerous#I don’t think I’m the most good looking person in the world and I’ve been followed sm times I had to run away from a guy once and luckily#my bus was right fucking there!!!#then the guy who was harassing me years ago at a bus stop and forced me to hug him and touched my butt and no one else was around to help#me…#and he kept on trying to get me to go back to his apartment around the corner like that was so#the man who followed me into the store as I was shopping and I noticed that he kept on staring at me#then tried to holla and he looked way older than me and I think he was a pastor or something too he had a nice car and tried to get me to#come with him#sm more incidents over the years like this is crazy pls don’t say stuff like this and act like it’s normal#someone in the comments said that people like the woman in the video think that being pretty will free them from the patriarchy and like…#YEAH 😭#it’s so obvious too lmfao#these be the same women calling themselves ‘girls girls’’
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soracities · 1 year ago
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Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.
One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.
Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.
Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.
Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)
I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.
I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.
I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?
The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.
It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.
The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.
I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.
You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.
Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.
We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?
I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?
If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?
This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x
#i think in essence what i'm trying to say is that#some things are true in a microcosm but you cannot make a universal application for them bc the microcosm isn't representative of the whole#and it is dangerous to assume that it is or that it can be bc you're erasing the bigger picture when you do that#it would be like a poc saying they never felt the pressure of skin-lightening creams which is amazing but it doesnt change the fact that a#whole industry exists selling skin-lightening products BECAUSE there is a demand for them and that demand exists BECAUSE there is an#expectation that they SHOULD be used and this is because there is a belief that lighter skin = more beautiful. regardless of how messed up#and damaging that logic is that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the world#and therefore those industries exist to maintain that belief because that belief is what drives their purpose and their profits#and we are doing no favours to the countless poc who DO feel pressured to subject their skins to these products or who come away with#a deeply damaged sense of self-worth (not to mention the internalised racism that's behind these beliefs) bc of constantly being told they#are less than for being darker than a paper bag which is RIDICULOUS#saying its all down to choice is not far off from saying you can CHOOSE to not be affected by the pressure but like....that's just not true#you can't choose to not be the recipient of colorism any more than you can choose to not be the recipient of sexism. and its putting a huge#amount of pressure and responsibility for an individual to just not be affected by deeply ingrained societal pressures and expectations whe#what we SHOULD be doing is actually tackling those expectations and pressures instead#they are leaving these systems intact to continue the damage that they do by making everything about what you as an individual think and#believe but while we all ARE individuals we dont live in separate bubbles. we are part of and IN this world together. and it acts on us as#much as we act on it. but like.....i think i've gone on enough already#ask#anonymous
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wavernot4love · 10 months ago
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time 4 yet another wavernot4love gig recap, gloomtown rochester edition (aka my seventh time seeing idkhow, fourth in rochester, & third at the montage music hall, the latter two a feat i cannot say for many bands) (note this was typed primarily at three am last night so once again there is probably incoherent rambling):
- gonna start this off with this clip of sunnyside since 1. i think that is becoming my favorite song off gloom division and 2. the ending gives me a chuckle
- boring live finally came back 2 me after four long years!!!!
- (dallon neurodivergency mention when talking about the themes of gloom division) (crowd erupts in cheers)
- return of the mormon tabernacle choir comparison arrived post- a letter, with dallon saying the next song (what love) wasn't something they tell you about in church, in typical cheeky fashion
- somewhat related, bro was wearing a gold sparkly grandma cardigan and randomly ripped it off and threw it CLEAN through the doorway of the like, green room at montage mid- what love. speaking of he said people at the vip earlier apparently planned his outfit
- dallon straight up grabbed a kid by the hand mid song and yanked them out of the crowd & onstage so they could do a lil jig together? good for them!!!
- going to leave the dallon quote "this isn't a frat house!" here w/o context
- someone handed him a giant american flag with a picture of him printed on it. god bless america
- ALL OF THE BRACELETS/KEYCHAINS WENT? after the show maybe 40 of us camped outside in case dallon came out and at one point someone who had reached out about them came over & so did a BUNCH of other folks who realized there were, in fact, bracelets. my cousin referred to it as the "meet & greet" since there were barricades set up along the sidewalk which gave me a bit of a laugh. guess i'm making more for buffalo yippee!!!! possibly may make stickers too later if i have time. i'll probably post em, but otherwise look for the person w curly hair & a baggy black thought reform hoodie w bracelets on a carabiner!
- so while we were waiting my cousin and i were sat RIGHT next to the main entrance of montage, right? basically the start of a sort of line of people sat down going down the sidewalk.
anyways, at one point only maybe 45 minutes after the show, out of said main entrance strolls dallon. collective whiplash moment as bro took one look, stopped dead in his tracks, we all collectively looked at each other like
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and dallon (who i think was truly surprised so many of us were out waiting in the cold) goes, lightheartedly but genuinely, "what are you guys doing all out here? it's freezing outside!"
and then proceeds to kinda frolick around for a couple minutes laughing w people or whatever. we didn't really approach him since i think he was a bit overwhelmed but it was still just a funny moment and we'll see what happens in buffalo! maybe less people will hang after so it'll be less intimidating for him.
- i do feel the need to mention i heard this one kid we were talking to bring up video games to him & dallon said he's not a huge video games person he just plays the last of us & spiderman really which is funny to me but fitting
- i did bring my point & shoot so once i edit those maybe i'll post some!
anyways, stoked on tomorrow's show yay!!!
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neon-danger · 6 months ago
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call me crazy but I don’t hate the umbrella academy season 4
#spoilers in the tags#like idk#Lila and five was weird but I could totally see 5 finally finding a partner and latching on too tightly#it didn’t have to be Lila ffs#but I don’t think it breaks his character to not tell Lila about the way home immediately#this is a 62 year old man#who spent a majority of that time alone in an apocalyptic wasteland#with an unhealthy attachment to a mannequin#and that’s not to belittle his relationship with Delores#my atl poster is one of my closest friends to this day#it is VERY easy to build an attachment like that to an inanimate object when you’re that lonely#now imagine five finally has a chance to settle down after 62 fucking years of constantly running and chasing a way to save the world#and the universe basically gave him a second chance to actually live#to be in love and be loved#in a timeline where there is peace#it is entirely human to want to hold on to that for as long as possible#regardless of what you miss because of it#‘they broke 5’s character’ is the weirdest take for me#because finding a way to regain control over your never ending eternal nightmare of a life#is one of the most human responses to trauma I have ever seen portrayed#it did NOT have to be Lila#and I will be forever mad that they paired him with Lila#but Five is not any less himself at the end of the series as he was at the start#he got to experience something a vast majority of the other fives never would#and that’s what makes him OUR FIVE#if our Five hadn’t had that moment of peace he’d have continued the same cycle of every other alternate five trying to fix the timeline#the umbrella academy spoilers#tua spoilers#tua season 4
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miisfits-toys · 6 months ago
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I have, in an attempt to figure out how printing works, decided to print and bind the first 2 chapters of my comic <:-)!!
Came out to be 18 pages (including front/back) and 5.5x7.5 inches. Not bad for hastily putting it together...!
So strange (but good!) to have my own creation in my hands. I hope to take a crack at it again once my current story-line is complete. Have the full "book," you know?
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cheswirls · 1 year ago
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doing one of those yt wrapped ficlet challenges would be SO fun but alas i use vanced on my phone which is where i watch 90% of yt videos and it doesn't collect your view history bc of how the app handles spoofing+privacy
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leomonae · 5 days ago
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This woman is still actively fucking up my country and our capital city, incidentally.
Beira's Place is a privately owned and operated domestic violence service that was formed to provide support to women aged 16 and over in Edinburgh and the Lothians who are survivors of sexual violence. The organization does not serve transgender women.
Their board includes a former leader of the Scottish Labour Party, and a former manager of the Glasgow & Clyde Rape Crisis Centre.
This was a number of years back and I'm working off memory, but I've heard accounts too from a couple people living in Edinburgh at the time of Rowling trying to pressure existing domestic violence organisations into excluding trans women. I have no doubt that she has made it a much more hostile place for any such women seeking assistance.
I haven't purchased a HP item in close to a decade - I use the books I already had as doorstops or to prop a laptop up for meetings nowadays.
There is NO "death of the author" with JK Rowling - she controls and continues to profit from her IP, and uses that money to fund hate groups.
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fleshadept · 1 year ago
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looking at (vetted) gofundmes for people trying to escape palestine and i don't know how many of you actually click on the gofundme links you reblog but i would like to point out, for what it's worth, just how amazing it is that so many have raised so much money. it may overall feel like a drop in the ocean but the fact that several gofundmes have raised tens of thousands of dollars is amazing. it is so expensive to leave gaza right now, and people still need money after they escape. but regardless of what propaganda the US, UK, canada, and other western nations are trying to pump out, people across the world are doing what they can to help these people survive. many of them are still very far from their goals (like this one and this one and this one) and some of them are very close to high goals (like this one), and some of them have reached almost double their original goal.
and that's not even addressing direct aid or organizations that take continuous donations for distribution of food, menstrual products, etc. the PCRF has raised $16,000,000 of their target goal of $20,000,000 to fund current aid and long-term relief efforts in gaza. ANERA's febuary 13th update discusses the material ways they helped palestinians today:
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(ANERA donate link)
my point is, it often feels like the world is turning a blind eye to palestine. but i would like to point out that there is an important difference between "the world" and "western political leaders and media narratives". a breathtaking amount of real people, the people who make up the world, are trying to help. in the face of israel attempting to commit genocide, the world is saying No. These people deserve to live. and literally sending millions of dollars internationally, through the internet connection that israel has desperately been trying to destroy.
it may not feel like it matters in the grand scheme of things. but to the people who get fresh clothes, or a hot meal, or blankets, or the kids who get new toys, or to the people who are able to bring their families to safety, it matters to them. go make someone's day better. i've linked so many options with ways to do that.
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despairisafunnyword · 6 months ago
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i think we’re reaching the end of things
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iniquitousyearning · 1 year ago
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teasing. | syltherin boy headcanons
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author’s note: based on a request i received. i am feral.
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- your boyfriends reaction to you teasing him under the table at dinner.
Draco Malfoy.
Draco had been in a proper fowl mood all day, and you could tell he was stressed, a clear mixture of a million different things floating through his mind.
You were literally counting down the seconds until you could finally be alone with him, but dinner was fucking dragging.
Sitting next to him, you couldn’t help but to sneak continual glances at him, noting his silver eyes darkened to a deep shade of grey, the tension in his jaw practically palpable as he stared at his plate like he could hex it into another dimension.
Just looking at him made your breath quicken, made your pulse soar.
Of course, part of you empathized with his shitty day, but the other part of you wanted to get on your knees for him right then and there--
because, undeniably so, he’s at his fucking sexiest when he’s pissed.
As Pansy’s chipper voice filled the air, yammering away to a blissfully blazed Zabini, both of them seated across from you and your boyfriend, an idea sparked in your mind.
Without hesitation, you scooted closer to him, subtly enough to not draw any attention to yourself, but enough for Draco to shoot you a side-eyed glance, eyebrow raised.
Feeling his eyes on you, you kept your gaze on your plate as you brushed your hand against his thigh, testing his reaction.
You could practically hear him swallow, could practically feel his body tense, and you’d try not to smirk.
Thrilled, you’d inch your fingers further, tracing small patterns along the middle of his thigh before trailing upwards.
He’d shift on the bench, the veins in his hands tensing as he tightened his grip on his fork.
His reactions would fuel your fire, and you’d keep going, grazing over his crotch, and he’d groan, stifling it with a cough instantly, and that’s when he’d had enough.
Shifting his hand, he’d grasp your thigh, now--with an intensity in his grip so strong you’d almost squeal. A silent warning.
He’d lean in, his voice darker than the midnight sky as he’d whisper, “you’re lucky I have some dignity…but keep it up and I’ll bend you over this fucking table right now, in front of everyone.”
your grin would be unmissable, and you’d only make it another few minutes before he dragged you away from the table and back to his dorm.
Blaise Zabini.
Blaise was literally just eating. And that’s all it took.
That’s all it took for you to want him, to damn-near need him, right then and there.
He’d been flirty with you all morning, making you swoon over his every word with his typical Zabini charm, as though he was still trying to win you over.
You found yourself giggling like a goddamn first year more times than you could even begin to count while he was around, and it drove you crazy, in the best way.
You couldn’t help it, you just always wanted to be near him, kissing him, touching him. He just made you feel that needy. Effortlessly.
And that feeling carried over throughout the entirety of your day, and didn’t falter at dinner. Oh, not even in the slightest.
If anything, it intensified.
Just watching him, in his own little world, focused on his food, casually chiming into the conversation every now and then between bites--it just did something to you. Something you couldn’t explain.
The way the veins in his hands tensed with each movement, the confident aura that surrounded him, regardless of what he was doing, was just fucking intoxicating.
And so, while caught in a moment of both mental and sexual tension, you discreetly placed your hand on his thigh while continuing to eat, feigning innocence as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Blaise looked over, immediately, and you could practically feel the smirk on his lips.
But then, with his typical Zabini composure, he’d go back to eating, letting you keep your hand there.
As you dared to inch higher, he’d seamlessly continue conversing with his friends, as if entirely unaffected by your advances.
The conversation flowed effortlessly, and to anyone else, it’d seem as though nothing out of the ordinary was transpiring.
At this point, you’d be completely convinced that you were enjoying this more than he was.
But then, as you’d get close to his crotch, dangerously close, he’d lean in, his voice so deep it’d send chills down your spine.
“You better stop.”
You’d grin, slowly moving higher, looking at him with innocent eyes. “Or what?”
“You just wait until I get you alone, babygirl…” he’d smirk, wetting his lips. “I’ll get you back real fucking good.”
Lorenzo Berkshire.
Lorenzo bloody Berkshire; your absolutely sexy, tease of a boyfriend.
Earlier, you had been paired together for an assignment in class, which had turned out to be the most infuriating part of your day.
Enzo was relentless in his teasing; partially because he couldn’t keep his fucking hands off of you, but also because he just loved getting a rise out of you.
All class he’d stared at you with those big brown eyes, biting on his fucking lip as he smirked at you, pressing his crotch against your ass as the two of you gathered supplies for the assignment, acting like he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
By dinner, your head was spinning, your nerves were shot, and you were more than determined to get him back.
And you’d do just that; finding your perfect opportunity while he was casually eating, not really paying you much attention.
You’d shift closer to him, resting your chin on your palm as you fixed your gaze on him, smirking a devilish smirk.
“So, Enz, what do you think of the new charms professor?”
You’d inquire, your voice like honey as it slipped past your lips, your fingers brushing against his leg in unison.
As soon as your hand connected with his thigh, he’d freeze, not daring to look at you, but stalling his movements completely, staring down at his plate as though it’d just grown two legs and spoke to him.
You’d grin, pulling your lip between your teeth in an attempt to hide it, watching him as he’d slowly resume his chewing, his breath coming in shallower bursts as you inched higher, excruciatingly slow.
“I-uh…he’s, he’s good-“ he’d stammer, his voice cracking, clearing his throat to mask it. “Thorough.”
“Oh, thorough, huh?” You’d tease, grin widening. “Why don’t you elaborate on that?”
His jaw would tense, his lids fluttering shut for the briefest moment as you grazed his crotch, adding pressure as to really get back at him, to really give him a taste of his own damn medicine.
He’d be flustered, undoubtedly, but he wouldn’t dare stop you, playing it off until he couldn’t take it anymore.
Then he’d lean in, softly setting his fork down as to not arouse any suspicion.
“My dorm, right now.” He’d practically beg. “I fucking need you.”
Mattheo Riddle.
Teasing Mattheo was not something you did, ever.
Because ‘teasing’, with Mattheo Riddle, was not a concept. It simply did not fucking exist.
You’d attempted it a few times, over your months of dating, and each time you’d found yourself either bent over a table, on your knees for him in a way-too-public location, or edged until you fucking cried/begged for release.
Mattheo never failed to let you know that he’d take you whenever and wherever the fuck he pleased.
‘Don’t poke the dragon’ or ‘let sleeping dogs lie’ ; were very much literal phrases when it came to your boyfriend.
and so you made sure not to tempt him, unless absolutely fucking necessary--However, today, it was more than absolutely fucking necessary.
And why was that, you might ask? Two reasons.
First one being that you’d slept in his dorm last night and woke up late late for class; all thanks to him.
Even though you’d made sure to remind him ten bloody times to set the alarm, he’d somehow still managed to ‘forget’.
And the second one was because he just looked so goddamn fucking sexy, and you were displeased with the fact that you didn’t have time for morning sex.
Regardless, as he was picking at his dinner, looking unbelievably exhausted, you took your chances.
You leaned closer to him discreetly, casually placing your hand on his thigh. He’d instantly tense, legs spreading wider almost involuntarily, grip tightening on his fork.
You’d inch higher, excruciatingly slow, nodding to Blaise as he said something to you, causally entertaining the conversation.
Mattheo’s jaw would tighten, so much it’d genuinely look painful, his head bowing toward the table as you slowly moved upwards.
But then, he’d grow tired of your teasing and grab your wrist, hastily moving it to his dick as he huffed, dropping his fork and running his now-free hand through his hair.
You’d be fuelled on, leaning toward his ear to whisper; “I need you so fucking bad, Matty…”
He’d snuff a groan, his nails digging into your wrist as he continued guiding your hand, guiding you in palming him through his trousers.
“You’re going to regret this, princess…” he’d mutter, his voice torn and laced with promise. “Can’t keep your fucking hands off of me, can you?”
You’d increased your movements, feeling him grow unbelievably hard beneath your fingers, and you’d know he wasn’t bluffing.
“I should bend you over right here, show the boys just what a desperate little slut you are for me….”
You’d smirk, snuffing your giggling, and that would be the last straw. He’d drag you up from the table and fuck you in the nearest closet/empty classroom.
Theodore Nott.
You were fucking bored.
So unbelievably bored that you weren’t sure how much more of it you’d be able to take.
The conversations at the table were about nothing of particular significance, and if you had to endure another second of Enzo’s mindless babbling you were certainly going to be sick.
Theo was seated beside you, aimlessly picking at his food, also looking incredibly bored.
It was not unnoticeable that the two of you were about ready to fall asleep on the damn spot.
In a moment of desperation, you turned to your boyfriend, attempting to spark up a conversation.
“So, what are we planning on doing this weekend?”
As Theo looked up, you’d instantly grow warm, his stormy blue eyes swirling with admiration as he glimpsed your lips, his once flat features beginning to soften.
“Can’t speak for you Bella, but know what I have on the to-do list,” he’d murmur, leaning in for a kiss.
Theo was never one to shy away from PDA.
As your lips met in a quick, soft kiss, you’d smile as he slowly pulled back. “Oh, yeah? And what might that be?”
That’s when you’d put your hand on his thigh, slowly trailing it upwards, instantly causing his eyes to darken, his jaw to tighten.
He’d spread his legs wider, inviting you to keep going, and you’d gladly oblige, palming him eagerly as the two of you held eye-contact intense enough to make you dizzy.
he’d smirk, sucking in shallow breaths as he leaned in for another kiss, muttering against your lips;
“You…you, and you again…”
Someone at the table would playfully groan in disgust and tell you two to get a room, and you’d just laugh before Theo agreed and dragged you back to his dorm.
Tom Riddle.
If you had to listen to one more second of Tom Riddle talking about school related topics, you were going to find the nearest bridge and jump. zero hesitation.
You absolutely loved your boyfriend, loved him to fucking death,
but after he’d spent all afternoon drilling transfiguration concepts into your brain, you honestly just wished he’d drill something else into you, instead.
And by the time dinner rolled around, your brain was mashed potatoes, yet Tom remained completely fucking relentless.
In between bites of food he’d ask you to recite the animagus transformation theory, and when you’d undoubtedly get it wrong, he’d sigh, grabbing the book and reading it back to you.
But no matter how many times he’d repeat it, it didn’t fucking matter, your mind was gone, completely elsewhere.
To be more specific, your mind was lost in a sea of your thoughts, thoughts about Tom’s big strong hands gripping your hips, his strong frame towering over you as he-
Gods, this was complete fucking torture, and you needed it to stop, right now.
Loosening your tie around your neck, you glimpsed him, watching his dark eyes scan the page, watching his long fingers as he pointed at what he was reading to you,
As you undid a few of the buttons on your blouse, your hand fell gracefully, landing on his thigh for support as you leaned over him, looking down at the book,
“Can you repeat that part for me again, Tom?…” you’d murmur, voice a slow drawl, failing to hide your smirk as your felt him tense. “Silly me…I don’t think I heard you correctly…”
Tom would know exactly what you were doing, and at first he’d try to play it off, clearing his throat as he tried to decipher where the fuck he’d left off.
But then, as you continued to inch higher, grazing his crotch, he’d groan, slamming the book shut.
“For Merlin’s sake, you’re a needy little slut, aren’t you?” He’d hiss, the annoyance in his tone mingling with amusement.
“Let’s go before I bend you over the fucking table.”
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gguk-n · 2 months ago
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Hands off (Lando Norris x Reader)
Summary- In world where soulmates exist. Some people have handprints on their body for when their soulmate touches them for the first time. Lando wonders why his soulmate marks are where they are.
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Lando was at a sponsor's meeting at McLaren. It was the same old same old stuff. Quite boring if someone asked him. Oscar had ditched him to hang out with his soulmate who he was seen laughing along to while Lando sipped on his glass of champagne until a girl caught his attention. She was dressed in a papaya satin dress looking equally as bored as him.
Lando sauntered over to her, to keep himself a little occupied. "Hey" Lando greeted, catching her attention. She looked up and smiled. "Hi" she greeted back, lazily taking a sip of her drink. "Quite drab" Lando commented. "The atmosphere" he continued. "But you look ravishing" he finished. "What? Expecting me to keep your bed warm" she chided. "If you're offering" Lando chuckled. The pair fell into a comfortable banter. Lando had yet to know her name but it wasn't stopping her from putting him in his place. They started to walk around the venue as they commented on the group of snotty rich people and what they must be talking about.
A couple steps from them a waiter was serving drinks to a group of sponsors when he started walking towards them, his eyes on another group, close by. Lando noticed that he was going to miss the girl in papaya dress and bump into her if she didn't move. Before he could think, he pulled her towards him, to avoid the collision. For a formula one driver, he had no hand eye coordination since he missed her waist completely; instead his hands landed on her ass. She sported a shocked expression, a soft burning sensation on her rear. Being caught off guard, she fell forward with her hands landing directly on his chest, Lando could feel a burning sensation, under her palms.
Y/N had always wondered why her soulmate mark was on her ass. She would joke with her friends that maybe he was some pervert. She would later dismiss their concerns too, but those thoughts would nag at her as she wondered what type of man would implant his both palms on a strangers bum, regardless of the fact that they were soulmates. Y/N couldn't wear bikinis or short shorts or anything mini since anyone could see where the marks were. If someone asked, she would lie and say that they were on her waist. Not like they would check.
Lando found it romantic, a little, yet slightly weird. He had two hand prints on his chest, perfectly encapsulating his pectorals. It was embarrassing to be shirtless, since all his friends would make fun of him. Most people would have marks on their hands or legs or face even but Lando Norris had 2 perfectly bright palm prints on his chest, as if they were holding his tits.
Both of them understood why they had those marks where they did. Y/N quickly straightened herself and brushed his hands off her bum. "I always wondered what type of pervert my soulmate was" she voiced. "I'm sorry. But you are no better." he paused, "You were holding my nipples" he pointed out, now covering his chest. "Not my fault. You caught me off guard" Y/N defended herself. "At least ask me on a date before you decide to grope me" Y/N laughed at the preposterous situation. "Hey!" Lando huffed. "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you perverted soulmate" she said extending her hand. "Lando. Right back at you" he laughed back, shaking her hand only to pull her in. "I'm allowed to touch that ass when I've already staked my claim" he teased. "Come on dude" she tried to push him away. "Can't be going around calling me dude when I know what that ass feels like" he smirked. "Eww! Can't believe I'm stuck with you" she laughed, pushing him towards a more secluded area. "Why don't you start by showing me that hand print?" she prodded his shirt buttons. "Some one's excited" Lando chuckled, pulling her in. "I don't undress before the first date though" he smirked with his hands firmly on her rear. "Me neither, baby boy" she smirked back, pulling him in by the collar of his shirt for a kiss.
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kngrose · 2 months ago
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do you not write for ambessa 👉🏻👈🏻? cuz your sevika headcanons are *chef’s kiss*
𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
WARNINGS: 18+, sexual content, implied voyeurism, body worship, oral, slapping, spanking, dacryphilia, implied age gap, slave/master if you squint, wlw!
from roselí. ᡣ𐭩 : prayers have been answered ^^
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SFW
Come, come. Let's talk about it.
I don't think Ambessa strikes anyone as a lovely kind of person. Yes, she is incredibly charismatic, and might even be the love-bombing type, but Ambessa seems to clearly reserve "love" for those closest to her. Well, her version of it anyway.
She won't just walk around with her heart on her shoulder, she's a warrior for hell's sake. And we're all familiar with her opinions on becoming weak at the hands of love.
If you've managed to genuinely catch Ambessa's interest-- not just for her personal gain or a quick fuck-- then you've got a headache coming your way. Like, a migraine.
I want to really emphasize the love bombing because regardless of whether Ambessa is aware of it or not, the relationship will feel this way for a long time. There's a pattern. She's affectionate one day; showering you with praises and soft kisses, sunrise to sunset. You'll have to want for nothing. Gifts and trips, all treated to you by hers truly. Wining and dining, a good fuck. And though all of this is displayed in private, you'll be enamored. Which is exactly what she wants you to be.
And then, she'll be cold and standoffish. Uncaring of your presence or too busy to be bothered. When Ambessa handles business, there's no such thing as making time for you. You'll just have to pacify yourself until she's ready to be bothered with you again.
It'll take you a while to realize, but when you do you can't miss it; she's got an avoidant attachment. She wants to love you and to be loved, but the moment she receives it she's pulling away. She's looking for flaws in you, anything that'll convince herself that you're bad for her, to leave you where she found you.
Constantly creating exit strategies, thinking of petty little arguments to start for no reason, or an insecurity of yours to pick at. She was trained to fight, it's her strong suit in any sense. It's always easier for her to disconnect and dismiss her feelings than to just sit and talk it out. And you'll want nothing to do with her, which is also what she wants.
She just be losing the plot, I fear.
Unfortunately, cycles like this take time to break. Fortunately, she's not going to let you leave! So you have all the time in the world! <3
When you bring this to her knowledge, you'll really have to bring it. Sit her down and let her know she's not moving until she's heard every word that leaves your mouth, wagging a painted finger in her face. And she'll humor you because you've managed to make an impression with her.
She will sit, patiently and leisurely, man spread and all, watching you fuss her out throwing your hands every which way and yelling. And she will have the softest, fondest smile on her face. She'll know you love her at this moment.
She will let you say your piece without interruptions. In fact, she's so quiet that you have to question if she's even listening a few times. And when you catch sight of that little smile you just pause, dumbfounded. And she'll just humor your expression, urging you to continue with a curt wave of her hand.
After this occasion, Ambessa will be relentless. In her mind, anyone willing to fuss her out the way that you have must truly love her. So now, she knows no limits. In the past, Ambessa would have you stay put with some guards while she handled her day-to-day tasks. But now? You tag along with her everywhere.
In meetings, Ambessa has you perched on her lap. Touching you mindlessly as she discusses possible strategies and looks over speeches. Rubbing your thighs, your neck, your arms. You'll find it awkward at first--such a public display of affection-- but you'll have no choice but to get used to it.
She's hand-feeding you everything. Holding your cups to your lips, licking frosting off your mouth. It's a starch contrast to the dynamic your relationship used to have. But, you suppose you shouldn't be surprised at her shamelessness, she's always been a bit... eccentric.
And now, you don't even have to ask her to share her feelings, in fact, you have to tell her that some things are a little TMI because she wants to share everything with you. Everything. EVERYTHING.
Secrets don't exist, she's an open book. Whatever's on her mind, you're going to hear about it. Which in most cases, you can appreciate. She'll open up about her past and all of the things that have led her up to this point. She'll speak of her daughter, Mel, expressing a regret that she's never opened up to her about. And she'll talk about the effects you have on her personally.
These moments are heartwarming, cause it solidifies your bond.
Undoubtably, Ambessa is a very possessive woman. She's very adamant about expressing to everyone that you belong to her. Not necessarily in a verbal sense, but people will know. They'll know when they see the lingering touches she leaves, the elongated glances, the kisses. Again she's very shameless, so don't let these things take you by surprise.
She's also very protective. She does like to have you tag along with her everywhere, but every now and then she'll leave you with Rictus while she goes to handle more trying situations. You know, the ones where she may potentially commit a war crime or two.
She'd much rather you be locked away than have to protect you on the battlefield. Though she's positive you know of her capabilities, she wouldn't like to have you see her in that light regardless. She'll go to great, violent, bloody lengths to keep you safe.
Besides her shameless physical touch, Ambessa likes to show her love with flashy gifts and large bouquets of flowers. She likes to collect things from all the places she's been to gift to you; know that every time she's out, she thinks of what you might like to have.
She also likes to share knowledge. She finds that to be one of the biggest displays of love; sharing one's knowledge of the world and life. Things you can can learn from. She will really appreciate and admire the fact that you look up to her as a mentor, and especially loves it when you ask for her opinion or perspective. It shows that you rely on her.
And she likes to be relied on!
She has a tendency to just walk around naked, and not for any particular reason other than the fact that it’s, “Comfortable, sweet thing.” It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, if she has leisure time to waste, she’ll be naked. And she likes to be watched; “I worked hard for this body, honey..” She’ll say, flexing her arms at you.
She takes great pride in her form and in her strength. She likes to lift you up randomly just to showcase it. She’ll always pick you up when she hugs you, gripping your thighs loosely or not at all. You could honestly just hang onto her, dropping all of your weight. It wouldn’t make a difference.
She never fails to fluster you at any given chance. Every time you’re having a conversation she’s holding the strongest eye contact, chuckling to herself when you avoid her gaze. She'll randomly grip your chin, or caress your face. Sometimes twirling the hair by your ears. She likes to see you get all flustered because of her. It genuinely makes her day. That's why she does it so much.
She's old! Lol, you'll have to keep her updated with the new slang and terms of endearment. If you're someone who incorporates a lot of slang into your vocabulary, you'll often receive sideways glances of confusion before she stares at you and mutters, "...What?"
NSFW
I’m going to say it again; she’s shameless.
She has no qualms. Like, at all.
She loves to put on a show. She loves to be ogled at, it strokes her— already large enough— ego. More often than not, she’ll shove you down onto the bed, and with a calculated slowness, she’ll begin to undress, maintaining eye contact with you throughout. Her eyes always smoldering with a mix of passion and a touch of dominance.
And she’ll study you closely for your reaction, loving the look of pure awe on your face as she stands nude before you. Her voice, a low and husky murmur, would echo through the room, "See something you like, my dear?" and she’ll hum in approval at the soft, “Yes, Ma’am” she receives in return.
Ambessa appreciates a well mannered slut.
Most times, Ambessa will request that you massage her, all over. She loves it; It fulfills her desire to be worshipped. She loves to watch you take your time and rub every part of her, smirking down at you as you get lower and lower.
Ambessa will lean back slightly, her expression transitioning into a devilish smirk. Her free hand slowly tracing a path along the contours of your body. She watches you like a hawk, a smirk ever present on her lips.
When you start to kiss down her body a contented sigh will escape her lips. She’ll run her fingers through your hair, gently but firmly guiding your movements. Her head will tilt back, her eyes half-lidded with satisfaction. Each touch, each kiss, draws out a low and guttural sound from her throat, her desire evident in the way her body responds to your ministrations.
And the hand in your hair will tighten as she shoves your face in between her legs, a knowing glint in her eyes, “You know what to do.” And her body tenses as you start to eat her pussy, the hand in your hair tightening almost painfully as she groans.
She requires eye contact; she wants you to watch her come undone on your mouth. It’s like a reward, no? Watching the effect you have on her. She wouldn’t want you to miss the way she leans her head back, her hips rutting against your tongue at a steady pace, glancing down at you as she murmurs, “Good girl.”
And she won’t miss the hand that you trail down to your pussy, toying with yourself impatiently. A leisurely chuckle will fall from her lips, “Patience, Darling.” She’ll always say, pulling your hair to angle your head just right so she can fuck your face better. “Patience.”
And soon her breathing will turn shallow, Ambessa's grip on your hair impossibly intensifying, her fingers tangling in your locks as she guides your movements. Her control momentarily slips as she succumbs to the pleasure you're giving her.
And when she cums? She’ll pull your head back playing idly with the mess on your face, “Tsk… now you’re all dirty,” She’ll mutter, before leaning down and licking it off your chin. She’ll meet your lips in a sloppy mess of a kiss, groaning softly at the taste. And when she pulls back she’ll admire the look on your face, taking a mental photo of it. “Pretty…”
I think Ambessa would have a thing for teasing you. She likes to put you in uncomfortable positions. Make you put yourself on display in risky places. Loves touching you under tables. It just warms her core to see you so flustered, really riles her up. Especially so if you start crying, she’ll just squeeze your cheeks in her hand and snicker at you, “Ohhhh, you poor thing,” She’ll chuckle, and peck your puckered lips.
I already mentioned that Ambessa loves it when you’re well-mannered, it’ll quite literally get you anything your heart desires. You ask her nicely to make up cum? She’ll do it in a heartbeat. “With my mouth, or with my hands?” She’ll raise a brow, “Or with something else?” You use your manners with Ambessa like a good girl and she’ll be at your beck and call.
Laying you on your stomach softly to pull your ass in the air and eating your pussy until you squirt all over her mouth, and she won’t let a drop go to waste. She’ll trail her thick tongue from your clit all the way to your ass and back, over and over and over, circling the hole playfully before spitting onto it, the spit trailing back down. It’s truly a beautiful sight, she thinks.
Do you want her to fuck you with her fingers? They’re thick. You’ll hardly need two of them to satiate that churning in your core. Perhaps you want a massage of your own? Want her to suck on your pretty feet? Maybe you want her to talk you through your orgasm and praise you softly in your ear while you cum on her fingers? Everything all at once? No request is too far for Ambessa. She likes to worship her pretty thing; and loves to appreciate your body. Especially when it’s well deserved.
But when you’re ill mannered? Ambessa will show you exactly how she became a warlord.
Don’t expect any pleasure from this outcome. It’ll be hard. It’ll be brutal. And you’ll wish you’d never mouthed off at her the way you did. “What did we learn?” She’ll growl, above you, slapping your ass with a powerful force, “Quickly.” She’ll order.
And she’ll hum as you blubber loudly about being respectful, but her abuse will not stop. She will continue to keep you over her knee, slapping at your ass and thighs relentlessly. And when she’s done with that? She’ll have you on your knees, facing up at her with your hands folded politely over your lap. And you’d better pay extra attention to your posture or she’ll punish you for that too.
You’re never prepared for the swat to your cheek. “What are we not doing in the future?” She won’t falter at the cry that leaves your mouth, her gaze stone-cold and unwavering. She’ll swat your cheek again, slap, “I said, quickly.” And again, she won’t be moved by your blubbering until she’s satisfied-- until she believes you’ve learned a lesson.
And she’ll always be sure to pacify you until you’ve calmed down, offering you water and comfort, but still being stern enough that you remember your place the next time around. She’ll be sure to build you up just as she’s broken you down, affirming you gently. And you’ll fall back into her, blubbering your apologies.
She’ll conceal a smirk.
She loves to see you cry.
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please let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist to be notified everytime i post, xx
taglist: @opropheticsoul
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itoshiexx · 11 months ago
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running your fingers through their hair
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you are now reading... LENA'S 1K MILESTONE EVENT FIC!
↳ itoshi rin, michael kaiser, reo mikage (separate) + cafuné (n.) - running your fingers through the hair of someone you love
notes: omg hi guys! i'm freaking ALIVE!!! i know i've been terribly inactive but life as a recently graduated lawyer has been INSANE and i barely have time to breathe, let alone write. regardless, i was able to finish this after some struggle, and i really hope you guys like it! cafuné is a brazilian word and it's something i love very much, so thank you anon, @kyukiss and @etoiile for the request and sorry it took so long ♥
event masterlist
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Itoshi Rin
“you remind me of a dog, you know?”
rin’s eyes shoot open with your unexpected words, and you receive the harshest glare you’ve ever witnessed on his face when it came to you. 
“excuse me?”
his tone is supposed to be threatening, but his voice is slightly laced with sleep, so it sounds a lot more like a whine. you snort a little bit, pausing your ministrations on his head, where your fingers run through his hair. 
“not in a bad way, baby. i just mean you’re like a puppy when you want my attention,” you giggled a little, and if rin didn’t love the sound so much, he would have berated you. 
“that’s absolutely not true.”
“it is, though. you came back from practice all tired and grumpy, and the first thing you did was put your head on my lap because you wanted me to run my fingers through your hair. you didn’t even showered, rin.”
“i did shower! on the locker rooms!”
you smile mischievously. “oh, i thought the dampness was from sweat. i was about to call you out for being stinky.”
rin’s grimace worsened, and a pout formed on his lips. you couldn’t resist the urge to squish his cute cheeks together. god, he was so adorable it tugged on your heartstrings. how was that even possible?
you lowered your head to give him a quick kiss, and although rin tried to deepen it, you pulled away fast, grinning once again. he knew what was coming even before you said it. “you’re also like a puppy when you trail after me around the house. a lost puppy.”
his groan reverberated through the whole apartment, and rin shoved your hands away from his face, scowling. “i fucking hate you.”
“no, you don’t.”
“i hate you. i’m serious.”
you giggled again. “so why didn’t you leave my lap then?”
his eyes met yours, and you kind of relished in the furrow of his brows. it made his pout even cuter. “…what.”
smugness radiated off of you, because you knew rin — your rin — like the back of your hand. and if there was an universal truth in the world, it would be that the younger itoshi was down bad for you. enough for him to stay despite your shenanigans that always got on his nerves.
“i said, if you hate me, then why didn’t you leave my lap?”
his mouth opened, but no retort came out. he gaped like a fish for a few seconds before groaning again, turning his body so that he could hide his face on your stomach. you laughed at his childish behavior, knowing it was one of the reasons you loved him so much. not many people were able to see this vulnerable side of him, and you were glad to be one of them. 
“shut up.”
“yeah, yeah. you big baby.”
comfortable silence engulfed the both of you, and rin remained hidden on your stomach as you picked up the book you were previously reading, wanting to continue the story. though your left hand was suddenly tugged to lay on your boyfriend’s head.
“keep going,” he murmured, “…please?”
a gentle smile took over your features, and you were quick to run your fingers through his dark, silky strands. rin sighed softly, content with the affection you gave him — as if your angelic hands could take away every doubt swirling on his mind and wipe off the tiredness from his sore body.
“of course,” you said. and your mind completed silently: i’d keep going forever if it made you happy.
perhaps you were down bad, too.
Michael Kaiser
contrary to popular belief, michael kaiser was not a bad boyfriend. 
despite his huge ego, his narcissistic tendencies and his extravagant yet somehow rude personality, he wasn’t the type of guy to treat his partner poorly. in fact, he was a very attentive boyfriend, always doing his best to make sure you were happy and healthy.
or maybe it was just you. who knows.
whatever his reasons were, you relished the fact he took such good care of you, even if he wasn’t physically present because of away games — because michael was very good at making people notice him. whether it was with a bouquet of your favorite flowers delivered to your job, a nice breakfast cooked before you woke or even a small note of love professions. 
however, nothing really compared to having him there, with you, flesh and bone. 
especially on those days you just felt so miserable you wanted to disappear. 
“liebling? you okay?”
it was one of kaiser’s rare day offs, and all you wished for was to spend some much needed quality time with your boyfriend. though, this wasn’t possible due to your job, one you liked having despite michael saying he could support the both of you financially.
but the day at work just sucked. like, a lot. it was that kind of day where things go from bad to worse in a matter of minutes, and when you swear it can’t get shittier, it does.
you were exhausted and emotionally drained. the whole drive back to your shared apartment you were holding back tears, and the dam broke the second you heard kaiser asking you that.
“whoa!” the blonde exclaimed when your bodies collided on a tight hug. “what is it, engel? what happened? did someone hurt you?”
his worried tone just made you sob harder, and kaiser rubbed his hands on your back, trying to give you some comfort. he started to sway your bodies together while humming, doing everything to calm you down.
eventually, your sobs died down, and your boyfriend carefully brought you to the couch, making you lay on top of him; head on his chest. he started to gently scratch your scalp, running his long fingers through your hair.
“you feeling any better?” he asked in a low tone.
“yeah. thank you, mikka.”
the blond only hummed. “do you… want to talk about it?”
you had to stifle a giggle. god, he was so cute. even when he sucked at talking about feelings, he always made an effort for you. 
you slowly shook your head. “jus’ had a really bad day. but it’s okay now.”
his eyes softened impossibly, and you nearly swooned at the sight. “yeah?” 
michael kissed your forehead, and kept threading his fingers among your locks in a gentle caress. you smiled, because it was all you really needed to be comforted.
“yeah.”
Mikage Reo
reo’s body collapsed on top of yours, effectively knocking the air out of your lungs. you should have been used to it by now, really, since he’d always do that after you finished your smexy times, but sometimes it still caught you off guard.
“reo, you’re heavy,” you groaned, teasing him. “get off me!”
“give a guy a break, will you?” he whined. “i’m tired.”
your giggle reverberated through his body, and reo repositioned himself to lay his head on your chest, hugging your waist tightly as if to never let you go. he’d rather lose all his fortune before he let that happen. 
“is mr. athlete getting out of shape? i didn’t know this light exercise could make you so…”
your boyfriend interrupted you with a groan. “babe!”
you raised your hands in mock surrender, giggling again, and reo thought maybe he didn’t really care about your teasing if it meant seeing you this happy. he loved you in all your versions, but carefree was his favorite one. 
“sorry, baby. i’ll make it up to you, yeah?”
before he could make a suggestive joke, his breath hitched in his throat when your soft hands started caressing his hair, gentle fingers threading through his purple locks making him sigh. it was so unfair, he thought, how you managed to disarm him with just a small touch, reduce him to putty in your palms with a little gesture of affection. some of his friends said he was a fool in love, and reo couldn’t agree more. 
your love made him silly, but he didn’t hate it. he could never hate anything about you. all mikage reo was able to feel was love, love, love, an emotion so strong it nearly overwhelmed all of his senses, making him forget about all his worries and responsibilities — heck, even the whole world. and he didn’t mind if the world burned as long as he could keep you safe and away from the flames.
“what are you thinking about?” the whisper of your voice echoed the walls of your shared bedroom. 
“what makes you think i’m thinking about something?”
though reo couldn’t see you, he knew you rolled your eyes. 
“it’s usually how the human mind works, honey,” you answered, your wit making him stifle a laugh. “besides, you’re always so chatty, talking my ear off—”
“hey!”
“—so it always concerns me when you get quiet.”
the heir sighed, letting the silence linger a little longer to recollect his thoughts. reo usually didn’t have a hard time expressing himself with words, but sometimes his heart swelled so much it made it hard to think. so, pretty much every time he was with you.
“it’s just… i’m thinking about how i never really believed in past lives and reincarnation. i never really believed in soulmates, either,” he said, and you paid attention to every word. mesmerized by the wonder in his voice and even more by the sparkle in his purple eyes when he averted his gaze to yours. 
“but when i think about you, love… when i see you in my arms or when i rest in yours, i’m sure you are my soulmate, and that we were together in every lifetime. it’s always been you. it will always be.”
your chest swelled with love for the man laying in your embrace, and you tried to hold back the tears from falling. god, he was everything. you didn’t even know what you did to deserve a lover like mikage reo, but you were far from complaining. 
you gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead, trying to convey even a fraction of the love and adoration you held for him, and looked back to caress his face. then, smiling with the world in your eyes, you answered:
“it’s always been you, too.”
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