#burrito replies

[eunnieboo]

IYHM ask replies!!

also, a current snapshot of my mind:

💛 burrito-puppy asked:

Love to see the progress and art you made along the years! Can’t wait for the release 💕💕💕

thank you so much! ���💞💞 i can't believe it's less than a week away... i can count the number of days left on one hand! AHHHH

💛 Anonymous asked:

Listen. The way that I too am freaking out! Gah. So excited. Can't wait.

THANK YOU!! every day i wake up and i lose my mind LMAO... the only time i'm calm is when i'm distracted, so i can forget it's actually happening haha!

💛 mickiee-art asked:

Where have you been my entire life?? I love your work so much! So excited for your graphic novel release! 💕🫶🏼

thank you so much omg!! i'm so glad! 🥺💖

💛 tabsters asked:

YOO DUDE ONE OF THE PROTAGONISTS OF YOUR SAPPHIC GRAPHIC NOVEL IS VIETNAMESE??? I'M VIETNAMESE AND BISEXUAL AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME HSAKSHKAHSKAHSKAHSAKJ

AHHHHH i'm so thrilled to hear that!!! i live for these messages HFDSKDJHSK HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

💛 Anonymous asked:

I just found your art today and after scrolling through your stuff I went and pre-ordered your book. I'm so excited!!

oh you are too kind!! ;_; thank you so much <3

💛 nimona-antifa asked:

WAITTT THE BLACK HAIRED CHARACTER IN IF YOU'LL HAVE ME IS A BUTCH LESBIAN? I THOUGHT IT WAS A DUDE OMG THEY'RE BOTH SO PRETTYYYYY FBFBDGD I'M GAY 💗💗💗 I seriously love your art its always so wholesome

HAHA OMG I LOVE THIS 😂 thank you!!! BUTCH LESBIANS FOREVER AND ALWAYS 💕💕

💛 albedosleftb0otych33k asked:

I don't know how but I only just found out about your graphic novel and OML! I WILL BUY IT THE SECOND IT COMES OUT! Anyways, I love your art and just wanted to tell you ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

omg thank you so much!! you are the sweetest! ( *´ω`*)♡

💛 jeweljupiter asked:

I just wanted to say seeing your art of Momo and PG makes me feel seen and heard I love the poc representation I’m a plus size dark skin nerdy black girl and seeing more women who look like me finding love gives me hope and makes me happy

when i tell you this means everything to me... it means everything to me. thank you forever T_T ❤️

-

i've been so focused on IYHM for the past couple months... now that the pub date is so close, i'm full of giddy anticipation and terrible dread. so thank you everyone for the love and well wishes! it's really getting me through it.

also, i wasn't sure how to announce this so i wanted to mention it while i'm here: Waterstones now has a special sprayed edge edition of IYHM! i got my copy a little while back and it's really gorgeous. if you like paperbacks i think the color is a lovely touch!

and as another reminder, i'll be having an in-person launch event next tuesday with Brick & Mortar Books in Redmond, WA! truthfully i'm torn between my desire to interact with people and my embarrassment at being seen in public, so please feel free to spare yourselves lmao 😭 i wasn't sure i'd do an event at all but i decided to try at least once before deciding if it's for me. so we'll see how it goes!

whew. the 17th is coming up so fast but i still have so many little tasks to do. the last time i talked about my busy schedule on here, someone sent me a message that said "you deserve a spa day," and i think about it all the time. maybe someday, anon. maybe someday...

[sushisusii]

Uuum DO NOT apologize!! That was incredible to see!! How you’ve developed over time. How you’ve felt/perceived yourself over time. How you’ve grown!

Your fursona was so cute and tiny (I’m assuming that was your younger/teenage years?) And now gigantic and cuddly and very handsome!

I LOVE that you draw them in all those different feels. It makes it so relatable and comforting. The goofy/dumb ones always make me smile so big and I just want to give you a big giant cuddle hug. And the sadder ones just make me want to wrap you in a big giant blanket and give you a steaming cup of tea. Usually I’d say hot chocolate, but chocolate is bad for k9’s 😉😝 Then just bury my hands in your fur and give you nice rubbies and scratches till you feel better. 🥰

Being a blanket burrito is one of my favorite things. It's so comforting. I also really really LOVE hot chocolate. With some whipped cream and tiny marshmallows. Maybe some fun little sprinkles. I'm just a pup at heart honestly. But yes, the smaller versions were when I was a pre-teen and teenager. They really grew up with me. I'm just a big lovable dork. I enjoy just gaming, doing art, relaxing when I can because of disabilities. I also really like making other smile with my art.

[kirishwima]

why is it that my mind gets full of Gojo headcanons whenever I'm working. why.

[gunthermunch]

For me I think your trademark is this somewhat late 90s, early 2000s? feel to your characters, like I may be reading about a new character but they already feel very nostalgic to me

no you're totally right munch especially was inspired by late 90s/early 00s sunday morning sitcoms. and the simpsons to be more specific. and also the horrors

[mulderscully]

do you think the bonfire scene changes the book explanation for “I can’t afford for you to fall in love with me?” As in does it change that Henry was always in love with Alex but just couldn’t have Alex falling in love with him back because it would set him on fire?

no, i don't think so. the opposite imo, it reinforces it.

i mean, sure the book and the movie are seperate at the end of the day. they're like parallel universes in a sense. same people, same relationship, some divergences here and there but the movie established that henry has had feeling for alex since the day they met as well which is what henry says in that scene:

"until he met this devastatingly handsome young peasant boy from a faraway land and said the most ghastly things to him. and made him feel truly alive for the first time in his life."

back home now and i grabbed my copy of the book where i have all the emails bookmarked like an insane person,

so the email that scene is based on is actually before texas, right after the DNC which also aligns with the movie timeline. in both universes they are already in a pretty intense romantic relationship and are pretty open about having feelings for each other, and always have had those in a way.

henry sends it at 8:22 pm on august 10th, and it's his answer for how alex managed to get henry so wrong and how someone like henry exists. i'm not gonna copy and paste the whole email cause it's long and more or less the same, but the phrasing is slightly different,

"until he met the most devastatingly handsome gorgeous peasant boy from a nearby village who said absolutely ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years..."

in both versions of this conversation henry is talking about how alex has made him feel alive since the day that they met.

but there is also a really really big difference between quiet yearning and loving someone from afar and spending hours and hours talking, texting, emailing and making love to a person. of course henry has always loved alex to a degree but falling in love with someone who loves you in return, actually knowing that person inside and out? that's different.

that said, i do think henry knows at that point between the dnc and the lake house that alex has pretty serious feelings for him, cause they do email about that in the book and the movie which is why him vanishing is so painful for alex. i think it's more like, it actually hit him in that moment that alex was going to say it and that alex wants a life with him, you know?

and i think the visualization of alex almost saying i love you and henry throwing himself into the water is a great visualization of "if someone like that ever loved it it would set me on fire." and that line itself it a sort of admittance that alex knew all along that there was a possibility that alex could love him, and that scared him so he actively pushed him away. but he can't push alex away anymore if alex is willing to fight for him, you know?

[layzeal]

good MORNING to fourteen year old weirdos on tumblr dot com ❤️

[sadmages]

7&8 for moustache hawke?

7: if they had to choose one person most important to them, who would that be? I mean it's gotta be Anders <3 I don't think he's ever felt as strongly about anyone before and after losing almost everyone else there is no way he'll let anything happen to Anders now- oh he blew up the chantry without him. oh kirkwall is burning. okay. now after really working out their communication issues he'll do his best to not let anything spiral out of control again.

8: who do they hate the most, and do they have an arch-nemesis? After Cullen's whole 'mages can't be treated like people. they're not like you and me' thing I think moustache made it his personal mission to just piss Cullen off as much as he could whenever he saw him. FUck that guy!!!!

[supremestrangeness]

Strange, just wanting to do quiet normal things.

The raging soup of monsters clawing away at the back of his mind “but what if we just fucked everything up, as a treat?”

[janthecrow]

good lord I only sent you a burrito and summoned a food anon demon out of nowhere, what have I done 😭

I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY PIZZER PIZZA WHILE LAUGHING AT THIS PLEASKSHAJA

IT WAS YOU WHO STARTED IT?? /LH /NM

also bc of this i JUST remembered your insta story about this how tf could i forget bro hELP

[heavymithril]

There was a restaurant in Scotland I ate at once in 2013, named Illegal Jack's, that was trying to be Scottish Chipotle.

And one of their protein options for burritos was vegetarian haggis. They also had regular haggis.

For a while in my life I legitimately considered moving to Germany. There’s multiple reasons I inevitably ended up staying in the US but one of the big ones was that one time when I was in Germany and wanted some salsa the closest thing I could find was basically just tomato sauce.

[medicus-felini]

"—So all you gotta do is to roll it up on a piece of cheese? Hmmm. I wonder if they will notice, but if works with Mr Eustass and the rest of your crew." Mr 3 rubs his chin thoughtfully while holding a bottle of deworming pills, it's been one year already. Everyone has to get on schedule they want or not. "Richie is the easiest but Buggy gives me quite the trouble sometimes, ga ne. The milkshake tactic won't work anymore." (( Linn pls share ur doctor skills

Being the daughter of the proprietor of a drugstore and medical clinic, Linn had a lot of hands-on experience dealing with patients who had trouble taking their medications. Small children were arguably the most feisty at that, often times requiring more than just a heads-up or good job afterward.

After she got recruited by Kid, this whole ordeal would repeat itself, but not with children—no, with grown-ass adults not wanting to take any kind of medicine. So, the doctor trusted one strategy that always worked (even if it was with the younger folk): hide the pills in something tasty.

Truth be told, Kid was almost always satisfied if the medicine came with some more illegal substances, but the drug interactions were almost always tricky to work around. Linn came to the conclusion that wrapping up the pills in cheese or some slices of cold cuts works like a charm, too.

❝ Precisely. If the cheese does not work, I also have some seastone handcuffs somewhere in my office. But I am sure Mr. Buggy will comply. I suppose the worming pills have altered the taste of the milkshake too much? ❞

[730hcck]

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[gilverrwrites]

Discretely touching them down there to their parts and gently squeezing when no one is looking and them not being able to do anything (since it's in public).

Ft. Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, & Roy. AN: Anon you're a menace and I love ya!

Bruce

You get exactly one, which he acknowledges with a stern pout and a cocked brow. Flawlessly concealing the fire you’ve ignited but for his laboured breathing and blown-out pupils. You’re walking a thin line, behaving like a brat in front of Gotham’s elite.

If he sees you reaching for him again, and trust, he will see; it will take him precisely 0.8 seconds to lock you in an unsuspecting death grip and pull you close. He wants you to feel the increased tempo of his heart against your chest. To feel the growing stiffness of his hard-on grazing your hip as he tells you assertively to; “Behave.”  

Dick

Dick sees your game; he raises you tenfold. He knows you’re up to something when he clocks the determined bite of your lips as you survey the subway car, and the mischievous glint in your eye as you look back at him. When your hand snakes under this shirt, caressing his v-lines, he juts his hips forward, presenting himself to you; daring you to take it further.

When you sink your fingers below his waistband he sucks in a deliberately loud breath. You freeze to survey your surroundings, but Dick does not. Dick starts grinding on you until he senses you growing nervous. He locks a sturdy hand around your elbow just in time to prevent you from pulling away, leans in close and whispers; “What’s wrong baby? Thought you wanted to play?”

Jason

“Is that a gun in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?” You giggle at your own joke, because Jason is always packing some form of heat. He might have laughed too, might have trapped your wrist in his hands and rocked against your outstretched palm if you’d been at home, or the club, or even the casino. But not the fucking grocery store, you little perv.  

“Are you drunk?” He offers you an out, glaring down at you with a gaze fierce enough to make a nun blush. You respond with a brazen-faced shake of your head, and he can’t help but imitate it out of disbelief at your cocky attitude. You stay like that, locked in a stare of, rock vs hard place, until Jason cracks first, noticing a couple rounding the corner at the other end of the aisle.

He grabs your arm with an unapologetic level of force, spinning you around and trapping you between his body and the trolley. Hiding his hardness by pressing it against your back. “You’re in for it later.”

Tim

Tim is the most taken aback. His pale blue eyes are rapidly examining your surroundings the moment he feels your devious fingers ghosting over the top of his thigh. He’s cute when he’s flustered, with pink cheeks and blown-out pupils. Nobody is looking, too focused on the conference speaker.

“What are you doing?” He hisses, but before he can get his words out, your hand is gone, casually pulling a non-existent thread from your sleeve.

You don’t reply, you just smile and shoot him a playful wink which puts him even more on edge. So much so that when you abruptly return, this time cupping his half-hard cock through his jeans that he fucking flinches. His knee hits the chair in front, and he sucks in a loud breath, earning him many pointed glares from multiple members of the audience.

“Babe.” Be tries to warn, but his hushed breathy tone makes him sound exactly as aroused as he feels.

Roy

You get it, you do. It was a long trip, and he’s starving but you’ve really been feeling his absence over the last few weeks, and the fact that you’re currently sat in a Burrito Bucket, watching Roy devour a tray of tacos, instead of being at home and watching him devour you, is a problem.

He seems to have noticed your sulking, but too late. “You okay ho- “

His question is halted by your foot tactfully situating itself between his legs. His gaze flits between his food and you, defiant eyes watching you through a mop of shaggy hair. A knowing grin spreads across his queso-stained lips as you answer faux-sweetly. “I’m fine, baby.”

“Right.” He huffs, breath hitching, freckled cheeks turning red when you press your toes down and something firm pushes back. He knows what you want, but he just loves to play dumb. So, he takes another bite, jerking every time you tap or roll your foot but never acknowledging what you’re silently begging for. “Is this one of those things where you say you’re fine, but actually you’re not fine?”

“I’m going home.” You finally concede with an exaggerated sigh, dropping your foot back to the floor and gathering your things.

“I’m coming with you.” He’s on you the moment you stand, draping his arm over you and placing kisses to the side of your neck, your face, whatever he can reach as you struggle to move with his deadweight over your shoulders. Notably, there’s still half a tray of uneaten tacos left on the table. “Funnily enough, I’m hungry for something else now.”

Taglist: @wandalfnation

[rookthorne]

❤️❤️❤️

ah, my love, Navy…

you remind me of cold rainy days. you know the ones when it’s really cold, and you get to become a blanket burrito and you can cup a warm mug of hot chocolate, coffee, or tea in your hands? and you’re just enveloped in warmth and you can’t help but smile as you read a book or watch a movie or whatever.

you remind me of a library, how it’s always so calm and the atmosphere just feels gentle.

for tropes? you make me think of a best friends to lovers, and that moment where they realise it’s not just ‘friends’, like that realisation and WHEN THEY ADMIT ITS JUST PERFECT AND-

for an AU? tattoo shop, hands down. but not just a shop, it’s a found family, and everyone looks out for one another and they’re always joking around. gah, I love it.

moots, send me a heart and I will tell you what you remind me of! 🥰

[thechekhov]

Did you seriously reblog a post defending the sanctity of life of pedophiles?

You did not read that post.

I understand that it might be difficult, because of the knee-jerk reaction we all have when it comes to this topic. I admit I also had the emotional first-response of disgust. But I urge you to go back and try to read it again, when you are cool-headed.

Stating that 'murdering people we find disgusting is not the moral high ground it feels like', is not the same thing as 'defending the sanctity of life' of anyone.

And while it feels good to emotionally say 'we should kill all (people who do bad things that cause harm to others)' this does not actually accomplish what our brains think it does.

From the post:

denying the humanity of people who do horrible things accomplishes exactly three things:

give cover to people who haven't been caught yet by allowing them to use their humanity as "proof" of their innocence

silence any criticism of societal structures and institutions that facilitate those horrible things by putting the focus on individuals who are assumed to be so uniquely monstrous that the ways it was made easy for them are irrelevant

provide a shortcut to dehumanize anyone you feel like killing: simply accuse them of doing a horrible thing

Listen, to me, listen:

I know that we are all human and when we see someone committing evil things, we feel justified and good, and we want to use our teeth and claws to rip them to shreds. I KNOW it feels incredible to reply to pain and harm with equal violence.

But on an ideological level, if you EVER hope to understand how emotional manipulation and dehumanization on a social level works, you NEED to be prepared to unwrap this delicious i-can-murder-that-person-and-feel-rightous burrito.

You need to understand why it is not the swiss knife of justice that it feels like.

You need to know that it can and will be used to kill innocent people who don't deserve it, and you will not even notice.

Because if you can justify murder with a simple 'if you fit into this category you automatically don't deserve to live' then you are supporting an authoritarian regime, who can and WILL happily take the easier job of convincing you that some person that they need dead fits the description (of a person you've already agreed doesn't deserve anything but a swift and unquestionable death).

This is why, when they needed the gays to be feared and hunted, they labeled them 'pedophiles'. This is why they're now doing this to trans people. This is why dehumanization is a tool of oppression, not justice.

There is way to fix injustice in the world and protect children without becoming easier to manipulate and trick.

[turtles-invoked]

What if Dean sleeps better when Cas is around?

I know, I know. All he needs is his four hours. And that’s all he “needs” because he’s trained himself to be a light sleeper. To be on constant look out for danger, to protect Sam. And maybe that’s why he’s irritable most of the time, because that’s not rest. He’s exhausted.

But with Castiel around, an angel, who doesn’t sleep, Dean finds himself napping when he usually wouldn’t.

Like at the bunkers dining table, Cas and Sam are going over the lore. Dean’s eyes start to ache so he leans back, crosses his feet at his ankles, his arms over his chest, and allows himself to doze off.

When he wakes what feels like a couple minutes later, Sam is no where around but Cas is still there, in the same spot, just sitting there. Not reading, not watching Dean, but just sitting, just being.

“Hello, Dean,” he’ll greet as Dean sits up, rubs his face, and checks the time to realise he’s been asleep for half an hour.

“Where’s Sam?” He asks sitting up straight and looking around.

“Burrito run.”

Dean breathes and relaxes and when Sam returns, they eat and continue research

Or when…

Between cases Sam and Dean would do movie nights. They’d sit on the couch in front of the TV, Sam’s Netflix loaded, and a big bowl of popcorn between them. Sometimes Cas would join, and everytime he did, Dean would nod off towards the end of the movie.

Like tonight. Cas picked a sappy Disney movie, Dean’s not even sure he knows what it’s about but his eyes have been closed for most of the movie. Cas is into it, and Sam hasn’t complained.

There’s been a few times now Dean has jolted himself awake, his head lulling then his eyes closing heavier, and heavier, until his jolts himself up again, this time bumping Cas, knocking the bowl of popcorn slightly, a few kernels littering his lap.

He mumbles a sheepish, “sorry,” and sits back upright. But he feels it happening again. He leans his head back, but that hurts his neck so he repositions himself slightly hunched and arms crossed.

He feels Cas lean into his side a bit, their shoulders touching now. Dean swallows the butterflies and sinks into the couch a little further, his head now in line with Cas’ shoulder. He leans to his right and ever so slowly, sinks his head onto the support next to him. He closes his eyes and within seconds he’s asleep, and drooling slightly, on Cas’ shoulder.

He doesn’t wake until the movies down and Cas taps a hand on his thigh, gently stirring him out of his slumber.

Or how about…

During a hunt they go back to their motel to get some rest. Sam falls asleep very quickly, his big brother watching over him. Dean tosses and turns for an hour and a half before he walks to the bathroom to splash some water on his face.

He stares at his exhausted face in the mirror, bags under his eyes, hair a mess and sighs. He runs his damp hands through his hair and walks back out. Sitting at the edge of his bed is none other than Cas, examining the gold knife on Dean’s bedside table.

“Hello Dean,” he greets quietly, placing the knife down and looking his way.

Dean huffs out a sigh and gives him a weak smile, walking over and sitting next to him.

“No progress?” He asks probably already knowing the answer.

“No,” Dean replies.

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Most nights,” Dean admits truthfully, his cheeks warming at the admission.

Cas nods, “I’ll watch over you,” he says matter of factly.

“That’s not necessary,” Dean chuckles scratching the back of his neck nervously, but Cas had already risen off of Dean’s bed and towards the kitchen.

Dean sat still and listened to the sound of the angel making himself comfy at the little round table before he allowed himself to get comfy in the bed.

Dean tucked himself in, shut his eyes, and listened as Cas read through one of Sam’s books they he had left out, the pages turning every couple of minutes until he fell asleep.

Or even when….

They were driving back to the bunker, a 13 hour trip. Dean can feel himself having to squint every couple of blinks to keep the tired out of his eyes. They’re only half way through but they didn’t sleep the night before.

“Dean?” Cas asks from the passenger seat, worry tracing his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he says pulling the car over when the bank opens up wide enough.

Sam stirs in the back and sits up, “my turn?” He asks sleepily.

“Yeah,” Dean sighs and gets out of the car, stretching wide. He wipes his face and waits for Sam to peel himself out of the back seat.

Cas gets out too and Dean shoots him a questioning stare, “I would like to sit with you.” Is all he says.

Dean feels his face flush, “dude, the whole point is so I can lay down and sleep.” He says as Sam stretches, and downs a bottle of water. He hands another to Dean who takes a few sips before lidding it.

“Okay,” Cas says as if the situation was obvious to him and still gets into the back.

Sam looks at Dean, eyebrows high and a smirk plastered on his face as he chuckles and takes his seat behind the wheel.

Dean rolls his eyes, sighs, then wipes his hands down his face before climbing into the back.

They take off and Dean leans his head against the window closing his eyes, but every now and then a bump in the road knocks his head off and it’s starting to become uncomfortable. He lifts his head up and leans back. It’s not as uncomfortable but his neck hurts in this position. He sits back up and rubs his eyes.

“Dean,” Cas whispers.

He looks over to him, his left arm is resting along the back of the bench, his right beside him in his lap, his hand taps his thigh twice gently.

Dean swallows and looks out his window, his heart suddenly pounding but the need for sleep is so strong. He looks at Sam who doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to them then back to Cas who looks out his own window as Dean turns to him. He sighs a little, feeling less pressured without Cas’s intense gaze on him.

He licks his lips and glances at Sam one last time and, yep, he’s definitely not paying them any attention. So Dean scoots closer to his door before he lays down, his head rested on Cas’s thigh. He lays as still as possible, waiting for any mocking, or laughing, but it doesn’t come.

He allows himself to breathe more deeply before he shuffles around, getting more comfortable. He scooches his head up a little further so his neck is supported by Cas’s leg and tucks his arms under his chin. He breaths out and immediately feels himself relax.

He’s almost asleep when he feels Cas’s fingers on his head, gently massaging the scalp then running his fingers through his hair. It’s heavenly, and makes the weight in Dean’s eyes feel heavier and without any effort, he falls asleep to Cas playing with his hair.

When he wakes it’s light out, and there’s a weight along his side. He blinks and sits up before he realises Cas had his arm resting on him. He feels the blush rush to his cheeks and down his neck as Sam greets him, “good morning, sleep well?” With amusement tinged in his voice.

Dean doesn’t reply to him but damn he feels well rested despite the ache in his hips. He looks around him and notices the familiar sights of Kansas. They’re probably 40 minutes away from being home. “Breakfast?” Sam asks as they pull into a parking lot of a locally owned diner.

They pop in and order the special: bacon, eggs, avocado, sausages, with sourdough, and coffee of course Cas sat there patiently sipping his coffee, not that he needs it but he knew Dean would finish it after his own (which he does). And before they know it they’re on the road again, Dean driving, Sam in the passenger, and Cas in the back behind Dean, one hand braced on the back of the chair and if every now and then a finger brushed through the hairs on the back of his neck, they didn’t talk about it.

The rest of that day was spent showering, and scrubbing the dirt and blood off of themselves followed by some lounging around. They watched movies, ate too much, and knocked off early. But Dean couldn’t sleep. He laid staring at the ceiling for quite some time, tossed and turned for hours before the early hours of dawn crept up on him.

He got up, put his robe on and pattered out to the kitchen to start a fresh pot. Cas following moments after, “why are you up so early?”

Dean turned around and leaned against the counter, arms folded, “couldn’t sleep.”

Cas tilted his head and squinted at him slightly, “at all?”

Dean shook his head.

“You could have told me,” he says with a frown.

Dean shrugged. And filled his cup with fresh coffee and sat at the table sipping it, Cas across him. They sat in comfortable silence while Dean caffeinated himself.

The next couple of nights follow much the same. Dean tosses and turns, and only sleeps when exhaustion renders him unconscious in the early hours of the morning. Even then he only gets an hour or two, three max. He’ll wake up before the sun, then shuffle into the kitchen for coffee and sit in silence with Cas until Sam wakes.

“What is going on with you?” Sam asks him one afternoon after he’s tried to clean the dishes and stack them in the microwave. This isn’t the first mishap either. A book was found in the freezer this morning, and yesterday a mug shattered in the oven as Sam started to pre-heat it for dinner.

“Nothing, nothing I’m fine-”

“You’re not fine,” Sam says wiping the plates and putting them in the cupboard where they belong.

“I’m just a little tired, man, nothing a couple of hours won’t fix,” he waves off and sits at the table across from Cas, out of the way of Sam’s cooking.

“You have had a total of 5 hours and 43 minutes sleep in the last 4 days,” Castiel announces without lifting his head from his book.

“And who’s counting?” Dean asks a little creeped out.

“Seriously, Dean? You’re going to kill yourself if you don’t get a decent nights sleep,” Sam scolds coming over to stand next to Cas, scowling down at Dean.

“I’m not trying to not sleep, I can’t help it!” He yells back.

“Well how can we help you?” Sam asks taking a seat. Dean can’t look at the concern on his little brothers face. He looks to Cas who appears to be just as concerned, his deep blue eyes gazing at him so intently, Dean decides to look at the table and shrug.

“We could try some tea? De-caf, obviously, or see if Rowena has some minor spells?” Sam rattles

“No. No witches, no magic,” Dean objects immediately.

“Tea it is. And no screen time after dinner,” he says getting back up to attend to their meal.

“I could help?” Cas suggests quietly.

Dean feels his stomach flip. He leans back in his seat, arms crossed, “nah man, it’s nothing I can’t handle,” he says pointedly not looking at Cas.

Deans situation isn’t brought up again but after dinner, and clean up, Sam turns all of the overhead lighting off, leaving a few low light lamps and brews a camomile tea. Dean drinks is unwillingly and tries to stop the fuss from Sam.

Cas left while the boys ate, and come back with what appeared to be lavender scented…. Well everything. He got body wash, shampoo, candles, moisturiser, room spray, hell even a body oil.

“Jesus, Cas, what am I going to do with half of this stuff?” He says inspecting the body oil.

“Use it,” he replies simply, and Dean rolls his eyes, “I’ll smell like a chick,” he says lifting up the room spray.

“No, you will smell like lavender.”

Dean rolls his eyes and downs the last mouthful of his tea.

He rinses he cup and places it beside the sink before coming back and grabbing the bag of goods off of the table, “I guess I’ll… use these… now,” he says awkwardly and heads for the bathroom.

Sam bids his goodnight and thanks Cas for his help with Dean with a clap on the shoulder.

Dean will not admit it out loud, but the body wash and shampoo actually smells pretty good. Once he finishes, he rubs a little bit of the moisturiser on his chest and shoulders but he’s not using the body oil, god damnit.

He changes into his sweats and an old shirt and padders his way down the hall and into his room. He only startles a little when he sees Cas sitting at the end of his bed.

“Whatchya doing?” He asks placing his dirty cloths in the hamper in the corner.

“I will watch over you tonight,” he says simply.

“No. Thank you,” Dean says awkwardly standing in front of Cas.

Cas cocks his head to the side and stands, “I don’t understand. You tend to sleep better with my presence near, yet you are so adamant on me not being here.”

“Yeah well… you… I- I dunno, it’s creepy,” he deflects and walks past Cas to sit on the edge of his bed, hiding his burning face from Cas’s gaze.

“What if I stay only until you fall asleep?” Cas offers.

Dean wants bad to say yes, to admit that he has no trouble sleeping with Cas around. That he can’t stop thinking about Cas running his fingers through his hair, or massaging his scalp. But he can’t.

“Cas-” he starts to protest again.

“Why won’t you let me help you?” Cas asks again taking a step closer to Dean.

“Because I-” but he can’t continue.

“Please?” Cas pleads softly.

“Fine,” Dean says in a huff, “but no angel powers,” he says.

“Then how would I-” he stops suddenly and his gaze softens, “oh.”

Deans body is on fire now. This is so embarrassing, “you know what. No. I change my mind. I’m fine,” be says and lays in his bed and faces the other way.

He feels the bed dip beside him, the clunk of shoes being taken off, some shuffling, then a knee digging into his back. But then there’s a hand in his hair and another rested on his waist and he squints his eyes closed as hard as he can to stop the emotions spreading in his chest.

“Is this okay,” Cas asks softly.

Dean hums a “mhm,” not trusting his voice to come out even. Cas’s fingers apply firm pressure from the base of his skull all the way to the top, then he gently runs his nails back down. He does this a few times before changing directions, sometimes gently pulling at his hair as he runs his hand back down.

Dean fights sleep hard. Because he’s never had someone touch him like this, so gentle, and sweet, and without asking for anything in return. Without any ill intention, without any expectation of him. Cas touches him to simply help him drift off to sleep. And it hits Dean hard, how much this angel must care for him to sit here for as long as it takes for Dean to slip into slumber.

His eyes prick and sting and then there’s a warm trace from the corner of his eye, down his cheek that sinks into his pillow.

“Dean?” Cas whispers. But he doesn’t reply.

“Are you alright?” He asks again, his hand stilling.

“Yeah,” Dean whispers back.

“Are you sure,” Cas asks leaning forward a bit.

Dean nods and Cas continues again.

Dean fights sleep a little more before he feels himself start to drift off and Cas’s hands leave him.

“Don’t go,” he mumbles.

“Okay,” Cas says but gets up still.

“Please stay,” he whispers, not wanting to beg any louder.

“Of course,” Cas replies. There’s a ruffle of clothes and then the flick of the light switch. The room plunges into darkness and then there’s the weight in the bed again. Only this time, there isn’t a knee in his back, but a warmth of another body laying beside him. Cas pulls the blankets up over them, then he’s pressed up against his back, an arm snakes around his waist and dangles over his belly, tracing light swirls into the fabric.

Dean keeps his eyes shut and slows his breathing and after he calms down he drifts into a peaceful slumber.