#my frozen burrito is gonna burn i gtg

[mulderscully]

do you think the bonfire scene changes the book explanation for “I can’t afford for you to fall in love with me?” As in does it change that Henry was always in love with Alex but just couldn’t have Alex falling in love with him back because it would set him on fire?

no, i don't think so. the opposite imo, it reinforces it.

i mean, sure the book and the movie are seperate at the end of the day. they're like parallel universes in a sense. same people, same relationship, some divergences here and there but the movie established that henry has had feeling for alex since the day they met as well which is what henry says in that scene:

"until he met this devastatingly handsome young peasant boy from a faraway land and said the most ghastly things to him. and made him feel truly alive for the first time in his life."

back home now and i grabbed my copy of the book where i have all the emails bookmarked like an insane person,

so the email that scene is based on is actually before texas, right after the DNC which also aligns with the movie timeline. in both universes they are already in a pretty intense romantic relationship and are pretty open about having feelings for each other, and always have had those in a way.

henry sends it at 8:22 pm on august 10th, and it's his answer for how alex managed to get henry so wrong and how someone like henry exists. i'm not gonna copy and paste the whole email cause it's long and more or less the same, but the phrasing is slightly different,

"until he met the most devastatingly handsome gorgeous peasant boy from a nearby village who said absolutely ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years..."

in both versions of this conversation henry is talking about how alex has made him feel alive since the day that they met.

but there is also a really really big difference between quiet yearning and loving someone from afar and spending hours and hours talking, texting, emailing and making love to a person. of course henry has always loved alex to a degree but falling in love with someone who loves you in return, actually knowing that person inside and out? that's different.

that said, i do think henry knows at that point between the dnc and the lake house that alex has pretty serious feelings for him, cause they do email about that in the book and the movie which is why him vanishing is so painful for alex. i think it's more like, it actually hit him in that moment that alex was going to say it and that alex wants a life with him, you know?

and i think the visualization of alex almost saying i love you and henry throwing himself into the water is a great visualization of "if someone like that ever loved it it would set me on fire." and that line itself it a sort of admittance that alex knew all along that there was a possibility that alex could love him, and that scared him so he actively pushed him away. but he can't push alex away anymore if alex is willing to fight for him, you know?