#bulletproof-cupids

[kinglypup]

Trick or treat

*sits like a good dog* treat please!

jk jk jk jk happy halloween have so much gay sex if u can :)

[hungarianmudkip69]

I have no idea where you got the idea that the founder of bath and body works is a trans man

It's Les Wexner, hes a billionare that also owns Abrocombie and Victorias Secret. He was also one of Epsteins best friends. He's a nasty man and ???? Not trans

this is so funny genuinely thank you for the laugh

[srcepiksla]

bulletproof cupid, shes like an oc to me

[musicandoldmovies]

Girls against Boys - Bulletproof Cupid

[rainingmusic]

Girls Against Boys - Bulletproof Cupid 

[falling-down-the-scroll-hole]

[solxamber]

Shot Through the Heart || Jade Leech

As a senior Cupid with a 100% matchmaking rate, your flawless record crumbles before your eyes when Jade Leech resists every arrow you shoot.

Cupid work was supposed to be simple. Straightforward. Shoot the arrow, spark the love, then vanish into the ether like a matchmaking ninja. And the best part? No one could see you while you were on the job. Humans couldn’t detect cupids unless you wanted them to—basic enchantment stuff.

It was foolproof. Bulletproof. Idiot-proof.

Until Jade Leech came along.

Now you were crouched on an invisible cloud in the Mostro Lounge, clutching your bow like a deranged sniper, trying for the fifth time today to make this slippery eel fall in love. Normally, one arrow would be enough. Two, tops. But no. Jade had managed to evade your efforts so many times you were starting to think he had some kind of love-repellent aura.

Your first attempt had been textbook—clean shot, perfect match, zero complications. You’d aimed at a sweet marine biology student sitting at the table he was standing at. She laughed at his jokes and even complimented his creepy mushroom collection. Prime material.

The arrow sailed through the air, shimmering with cupid magic, and… thunked directly into a potted kelp plant.

You blinked. That had never happened before.

Jade, meanwhile, tilted his head slightly, like he’d heard something. Which was impossible. He couldn’t see or hear you. That’s not how this worked.

“Strange,” he murmured, sipping his tea.

“Strange?” you hissed under your breath, ducking behind a kelp column for cover. “You don’t even know the half of it, buddy.”

Your second attempt was a waiter. He’d nervously approached Jade’s table to compliment the décor. You’d immediately pulled another arrow and lined up the shot. He was sweet, polite, and had a thing for tall, mysterious men with creepy hobbies. A perfect match.

The arrow zipped toward him—only to ricochet off Jade’s glass of water and hit a chandelier. It exploded in a shower of pink sparkles, which Jade observed with a calm “My, how festive.”

Meanwhile, Azul was screaming in the background about cleaning bills, and you were screaming internally about your reputation.

By the third attempt, you were desperate. A nice guy had wandered over to ask about the specials. Surely, surely, this would be the one.

Nope.

The arrow missed entirely, grazed a wine bottle, and smacked Azul square in the back of the head right when he was looking at a mirror. He froze, then his face took on a soft, dreamy expression that would haunt your nightmares forever.

“Wow,” Azul said breathlessly. “Your eyes are like a summer tidepool…” to himself.

You gagged. Jade, of course, looked directly at your hiding spot with that smile.

By attempt number seven, you were sweating. How could one man be so impervious to love? It wasn’t natural. The Association would have to send in a research team to study him after this.

You waited until a shy customer approached Jade to ask about the menu. He blushed when Jade smiled at him. Perfect. This was it.

You drew your bow, steadied your breath, and—

“You’re working very hard up there, aren’t you?”

You froze.

No. He couldn’t have. He didn’t.

You turned, heart pounding, to see Jade looking directly at you. You were still invisible—he shouldn’t have been able to—but that smug, knowing expression said otherwise.

“Oh, for the love of—”

Your hand slipped.

The arrow flew.

And it hit you.

In the foot.

There was a pause. A long, horrible pause, as the enchantment spread through your body.

“Oh no,” you whispered. “Oh no, no, no—”

It hit your chest. The realization came immediately, like a freight train of romantic doom. You were going to fall in love with Jade Leech.

From below, Jade tilted his head, a picture of polite curiosity. “Everything all right?”

“No,” you groaned, clutching your face. “Nothing is all right. Everything is the opposite of all right.”

Your heart was already beating faster, your palms sweating. You peeked out from behind the kelp column to see Jade still watching you, his mismatched eyes glittering with amusement.

“Interesting,” he murmured, taking another sip of tea.

And that’s when it hit you. He’d been doing this on purpose. He wasn’t just immune to cupid magic—he knew.

“Oh, you smug little eel,” you hissed. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

He didn’t answer, of course. He just smiled.

And for the first time in your long, illustrious career as a senior cupid, you realized you were in big, big trouble.

Masterlist

might do a part 2 lol

[untildawnss]

songs (i would put) in their playlists (based on vibes) - until dawn characters

ashley

teenagers - my chemical romance

monster - walking on cars

death by rock and roll - the pretty reckless

misery business - paramore

i love rock'n roll - joan jett

beth

i don't care - fall out boy

piece of me - britney spears

hard out here - lily allen

my type - saint motel

valerie - mark ronson, amy winehouse

chris

without me - eminem

1985 - bowling for soup

mr. brightside - the killers

girl all the bad guys want - bowling for soup

welcome to the internet - bo burnham

tribute - tenacious d

emily

say my name - tove styrke

yellow flicker beat - lorde

hips don't lie - shakira, wyclef jean

cvnt - sophie hunter

bulletproof - la roux

g. u. y. - lady gaga

all the good girls go to hell - billie eilish

hannah

teenage dirtbag - wheatus

tik tok - kesha

hypnotic - zella day

brutal - olivia rodrigo

can't hold us - macklemore

all men are pigs - studio killers

jess

primadonna - marina

love story - taylor swift

strut - emeline

s. l. u. t. - bea miller

what the hell - avril lavigne

party in the usa - miley cyrus

josh

yes, i'm a mess - ajr

crawling - linkin park

season of the witch - donovan

lifestyles of the rich and the famous - good charlotte

lonely boy - the black keys

paralyzer - finger eleven

the '59 sound - the gaslight anthem

matt

pump it - black eyes peas

danger! high voltage - electric six

cupid's chokehold/breakfast in america - gym class heroes

heads will roll - yeah yeah yeahs

get it right - left boy

mike

mr. big shot - anarbor

american idiot - green day

smells like teen spirit - nirvana

dragula - rob zombie

should i stay or should i go - the clash

i'm shipping up to boston - dropkick murphys

invaders must die - the prodigy

sam

our house (the mess we made) - you me at six

bad things - meiko

5 years - tonight alive

carry on wayward son - kansas

fuck you - lily allen

mercy - duffy

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

Bulletproof Cupid • English Summer Rain • This Picture • Sleeping With Ghosts • The Bitter End • Something Rotten • Plasticine • Special Needs • I'll Be Yours • Second Sight • Protect Me From What I Want • Centrefolds

Spotify ♪ YouTube

[carlos-in-glasses]

Search and Rescue

15k, E - complete and on Ao3.

Dear @honeybee-taskforce - I am your Tarlos Secret Cupid! 🥰 💘 I hope this fic brings you as much joy to read as it brought me to write. This is how I have interpreted your prompts!

On their first Valentine's Day as husbands, Carlos surprises TK with a trip to adopt a retired police dog – not expecting to come home with a goofy, boisterous golden retriever who failed all his training. But not all heroes are ultra-smart German Shepherds who wear dog-sized bulletproof vests. And sometimes, when it comes to gifts, great minds think alike.

******

"Please, baby. Please. I've never felt this way about anything." TK pauses. "Except you."

Carlos bites the side of his lip. When he’d imagined adopting a dog, a goofy golden with a thing for shoving his head and body into every available crevice – and who had failed different types of training to the point where he was given up on – was not something he'd factored into the fantasy. But, when he looks at his husband and Cuddles, he undisputedly sees the purest of all sights: A boy and his dog. He sees himself, aged six, when he was introduced to Rocky as a pup. He especially stayed by Carlos' side throughout his difficult teens, like he knew he needed a friend to come home to. Carlos said the words, “I’m gay,” to Rocky long before he spoke them to any judgmental human. Rocky loved him just the same, and kept the secret.

Read on Ao3:

Chapter 1: Big Heart

Chapter 2: Cuddles and the Gang

Big love to @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut for the beta, to @lemonlyman-dotcom my chief US advisor who has taught me much, and @welcometololaland for advice and emotional support along the way too!

Thank you so much to @tarlos-secret-cupid for organising! ❤️🩷❤️🩷

[sulfurz]

ೃ༄ SHIELDING FEELINGS (LITERALLY) (roman reigns x fem!reader)

ೃ༄ PAIRING: roman reigns x fem!reader

ೃ༄ REQUESTED BY: anon

heyyyy!! i have a fluff request for roman x (fem) reader. it’s set in his shield days and the reader is a apart of the shield (or a really close allies with them whichever you want) and she’s kind of like the lita of the group. Her and roman have huge crushes on eachother and it’s so obvious to not only seth and dean/mox but the whole wwe universe. So the two guys try to come up with a plan to have them both confess to eachother 😅😅

ೃ༄ WARNINGS: this is pure humour and fluff! basically just himbos dean and seth struggling at playing cupid

ೃ༄WORD COUNT: 1.8k

ೃ༄ NOTE: hello lovely anon i got a BIT carried away with this i apologise but i hope it still works🥹 i had way too much fun writing shield as terrible matchmakers

dean ambrose had a plan.

albeit, it wasn’t a very well thought out one. but it was a plan of somewhat decent calibre.

you see, he had a lot of time for you, acting as shield’s manager and all. what he didn’t have time for was how goddamn dumb you could be sometimes (seth’s words, not his — although he very much agreed).

what was it that got dean so riled up, you ask? well it was the fact that you were so evidently in love with roman reigns, and yet never managed to say more than a pretty pathetic ‘uh, you look nice’ whenever the four of you were backstage.

even worse than you? roman. this man had not kept his crush on your quiet. apparently you were the only one who couldn’t see it, and yet instead of ever acting on said emotions, roman liked to play a fun game of hide from y/n in the locker rooms until it’s time for our match and then i only have to see her for five minutes before. this had, on many occasions, ended with dean nearly throwing him to the ground because of course all this was going to do was make you worry the very beautiful yet stubborn man hated you.

a pretty man, but clearly very little common sense, dean had concluded.

so that was when, after too many training sessions in which you’d sit in silence until your coach brought you into the conversation, he hatched his master plan.

now just to put it into action.

it just so happened the final member of the shield would be a perfect partner.

—

the plan was, in dean and seth’s eyes, bulletproof. they would probably have to undergo a pretty intense intervention afterwards considering how wrong they had been; but at first, their confidence was through the roof.

oh no, dean hurt his shoulder in practice — what a shame! good job seth was there to take him to the medic, a walk he definitely could have done on his own! but they were so smart, right? surely you and roman would talk about something if forced to coinhabit the same space without a buffer?

yeah. they really thought so too.

but after fifteen minutes of hiding behind a comically large stack of chairs, they felt it necessary to put the two of you out of your misery and cry that it was a false alarm.

maybe you two really were more hopeless than dean initially thought.

so came attempt two: the halloween party. because who doesn’t love a good dress up party?

apparently, cupid was more of a christmas fan.

as it happened, vast majority of people brought their dates to the work party, which dean and seth hadn’t planned for, but made the situation even more perfect. not to mention you and roman had accidentally both turned up dressed as demons (finn balor made a playful scene when you walked in) — it was practically a match made in heaven! or hell…

this attempt was easy in theory: set up a conversation about how fun dancing was, before abandoning the two of you at a table to take to the dancefloor themselves. surely you’d get fed up of being left out and want to join???? surely!

except, what dean and seth had failed to consider was that in the spirit of halloween, and the fact that some of the most iconic superstars in the roster loved a good prank, the place was practically decked out with tricks, instead of treats.

dean and seth observed quietly from the dancefloor (they had long since abandoned their girlfriends and were simply dancing together now, chest to chest (hey — this matchmaking was a taxing game!)), practically cheering when they saw the two of you finally getting somewhere.

roman stood, offering a hand to you with a good natured “if you can’t beat them, join them?”, and it was obvious the two of you were so close to finally making that first step as your hand reached for his—

then, a plastic skeleton hidden in a bowl of candy on your tabled decided to choose that moment to make its appearance very known.

and there went your glass of red wine, all down your favourite pantsuit (luckily — it was red too, but the dark patch across your chest was not doing you any favours).

roman very sweetly apologised on behalf of the skeleton, which was the very final part of the conversation seth and dean heard before you were scurrying away to change. they quite literally facepalmed as they walked over to a dumbfounded roman, who still played the entire situation off.

it seemed they’d have to step things up if they really wanted to get through the both of your very thick skulls.

so attempt three was… certainly less subtle.

worse still, it came only a month after the halloween party, when you were still in the thick of your ‘hiding from roman reigns’ era, so imagine your surprise when here comes dean ambrose and seth rollins, dragging roman up to you with the latter wearing an expression of confusion that surely mimicked you own.

“okay.” dean spoke, slamming a hand on the catering table “you, roman, like y/n.”

“you, y/n, like roman.” seth added.

then, like one of those old timely comedy acts, at the same time the men both exclaimed a “now talk!”

and to yours and roman’s credit… you did speak?

it’s not your fault the members of shield hadn’t made the topic entirely clear. it was obvious by now that when it came to roman, you were blind to any subtext, so they could hardly blame you for missing the mark.

“of course i like roman? he’s my friend?” you questioned warily, genuinely beginning to get concerned for the two men you considered friends.

“are you two okay?” roman added, genuine concern across his face as he outstretched a hand to slap seth? check him for a fever? both?

you hummed in confirmation, thinking back on every odd occurrence that had happened between you and roman recently, realising that the common denominator in every situation was the two other members of the stable you managed probably saying something extremely dumb.

—

eventually, dean and seth had to admit they were terrible matchmakers.

when the christmas party that same year had been announced, they very nearly put another thing together, but a swift reminder from the wonderful (and honestly; terrifying) randy orton, the two were reminded of every failed attempt in the past, and their plan unravelled before it had even found it’s feet.

as would turn out, when there wasn’t two idiots meddling, that was when things unfolded themselves.

after the many times you had embarrassed yourself in front of your teammate lately, you weren’t expecting roman to approach you mid way through the party. he had spent pretty much the entire night hovering on the opposite side of the room, and for good reason to. you were a liability after all, and his suit shirt was too nice to end up with wine on it. you had opted for white wine instead this time though, just incase.

“hi.” a deep voice came from behind you.

you had been watching triple h and stephanie dancing together for the best part of half an hour, nursing your glass of wine contentedly until the voice behind you had startled you. your glass wobbled in your hand in a terrifying suggested repeat of the halloween event, but roman was prepared this time, swiftly reaching a hand around you and saving it from disaster.

“i should have probably learnt not to sneak up on you.” he joked, motioning with your (thankfully still full) wine glass in his hand before he handed it back to you.

“i certainly learnt that red wine is tasty but dangerous.” you played along, your heart doing a weird thumping thing at how roman chuckled.

“i’m sorry if the other guys ever made you feel uncomfortable.” roman said genuinely, catching you off guard. it was rare you spoke, let alone when the topics brushed a level of seriousness. “we love having you working with us as shield, but they don’t know when to turn off the jokes sometimes.”

you shook your head quickly, hating the idea that roman was concerned about you. sure, dean and seth were idiots at the best of times, but it was a huge part of their charm. from them trying to break roman during promos to their odd, but intriguing backstage celebrations, the slight unhinged enthusiasm was what you loved.

“trust me. i love working with them. with, with you all.” you added at the last second, not missing the slight upper curl in the corner of roman’s mouth when he realised he was included.

you could already feel the blush creeping to your cheeks just because of all his attention being on you, and you knew you were just seconds away from blurting something stupid, when an equally annoying cough came from your side.

comically, both you and roman turned your heads at the same time to see the entirely expected source of the disturbance.

seth and dean were standing a little while away, watching you with the biggest grins you had ever seen. arguably bigger than whenever your team won.

when you realised what was causing their giggles, your heart stopped.

you had casually followed dean’s eyeline, just a simple attempt to see if you could figure out the cause, when you found it immediately. and it seemed roman did too.

mistletoe. hung exactly above where the two of you stood.

you couldn’t help but widen your eyes, going to take a step back but being prevented by a gentle, yet grounding touch to your wrist. when you looked back at roman, he was closer than before, and it was practically an instinct how your eyes flickered down to his lips.

“in the spirit of christmas, right?” he asked, a grin that told it was more than just christmas spirit, and in fact something he had been trying to tell you for a while.

still, you took your time, placing a cautious hand on his bicep as you leant in to connect your lips to his. “in the spirit of christmas.”

[kinglypup]

I like ur top 3 posts lol

LMAO

[your-old-sins-tournament]

12 YEAR OLD OCS; SIDE A

Cupid [@onitekka] (she/her)

Cupid is like every normal middle school student, a pink-haired half-vampire totally not crushing on her girl best friend, seemingly born from every weird twelve year olds innate wish: make a video game.

Cupid journeys through the depths of hell to rescue her "girl best friend" (very subtle) from the evil Dark Overlord Xanata, who sealed her best friend into a crystal because she Also wants to be Cupid's "girl best friend".

she boasts a variety of super cool barely vampire related attacks that involve just straight up yelling at enemies! this girl has a sonic screech that can shatter glass, bulletproof bat wings, and a literal gun! you can practically hear angel with a shotgun (nightcore) blasting in the background.

why is the embodiment of love a vampire? because vampires are now ostensibly fallen angels. why is she fighting hell if she's a fallen angel? because it's cool.

Description: A beginner's illustration of Cupid. she has messily coloured short pink hair with two longer strands in the front, red eyes, a fuschia top, and a green skirt. she is also wearing black boots, and part of her bat wings are coloured black as well. there is blood dripping from her mouth.

Ash [@changeling-ash] (she/her)

She is so cool. My little self insert. My baby. Epic powerful magic.

Ash was part of a secret subspecies of humans (Homo sapiens dimutus) which could shapeshift, which she used to grow huge black wings or turn into a black leopard or look like a monster to scare enemies, anything as long as her brain stayed the same size or got denser to fit smaller. When she shapeshifted she would release green and blue fire from the power of the transformation (cause she has lots of copper in her blood that burns green. To protect against cancer, you see. Shapeshifting has lots of cancer risk so copper is sooo important)

She became one by genetic engineering at 15 so the dimutus could get more soldiers and spies for a war with the demon-like psyuedos (child soldier lol). She could come back to life because she had a failsafe that would activate where she would shapeshift away the wound and her brain would jolt back online. The only way to kill a dimutus was to kill the brain.

Like other dimutus, she could also dimension hop, so she'd travel the multiverse, from tv show to tv show or to the universe with dragons or with cool landscapes. She was good with a sword and something called a bladed quarterstaff, which is basically one of those two sided lightsabers but a blade. She was mentored by one of the most powerful dimutus of the war and is super powerful too compared to other dimutus.

Propaganda from the old post

Okay time for my propaganda once more!

Ash is my girl, my baby.

She has TWO dragons. The first one is Flicker, who is strong and agile with black scales and a violet belly. Ash rides on her back and she speaks dragon at her. Her other dragon is Zephyr, who she raised from an egg and he looks like a blue sky with white patches like clouds, and random little flecks of gold scales. He's lithe and fast and so agile. She can summon them from their alternate universes by calling out "Tul Lüg" for Flicker and "Zep-iagh" for Zephyr, and they leap from portals to fight.

She can speak so many languages. The language of Dimutus is actually Modernized Latin. She knows English, Spanish, French, Latin, Italian, ASL, and has the best translators.

She made friends with a shadowy wolf companion called a Shadowlupe who accepted her as part of the pack. She runs with him in hunts as a wolf.

She can do a double backflip. Enough said.

She would fly with huge black wings, it was her favorite thing to do. Knew how to do all the tricks. She is dimension hopping miles in the air just to fall for ages, then fly at breakneck speeds. And she was terrifying in battle, she would dodge and weave and slash as she passed, an airborne killing machine.

She could give herself big springy legs to jump so high and do crazy tricks. She adapted herself to move fast, bounce and parkour her way at insane speeds. She could traverse so well.

She also did normal parkour. It was a fun challenge to try with minimal modifications. Pretended a lot of parkour POV vids were her.

She had two cats trained to infiltrate bases cause they are kitties and can fit through the vents and no one suspects the kitties. Baya was a Bengal and Shadow was a beautiful medium hair black cat.

She could also dimension hop in a way that was like astral projecting. She'd just be floatin, near invisible. She'd keep her wings in that state to pull them from the dimension fast to use them quickly. Her friends would chill there and comment to her while she was doing boring things.

She had a ragtag best friend and copilot partner Katie that was the mostest important person to her. Her brother in arms, her guy in the chair, her support, and Ash was the same to Katie. They were ride or die, and they died a lot for each other. (I basically made a QPP a decade before I myself ended up in one. Probably an early sign I was aro.)

She lost her arm sometimes, and she'd have a badass prosthetic if she couldn't shapeshift it back right away.

So much trauma from being a child soldier will come later. Her future character with me a decade later is somethin.

[echthr0s]

tagged by @disir-ex-machina

Rules: Put your On Repeat (most played, favorite, whatever) playlist on shuffle and post the first ten songs that show up.

Pallas Athena, David Bowie

Drain the Blood, the Distillers

The Hollow, A Perfect Circle

I Can Climb Mountains, Hell is For Heroes

Gently, Slipknot

As Horizons End, Paradise Lost

Invisible Wounds (The Suture Mix), Fear Factory

Bulletproof Cupid, Placebo

I Never Told You What I Do For a Living, MCR

If It Ain't You Today It Will Be You Tomorrow, Euringer + Serj Tankian

as usual, hardly a comprehensive selection considering it has ~1340 songs to sort through. also I feel like I hear either Gently or Duality every damn day lately so I guess that's Spotify's pet artist of the month

edit I can't read. I did not put my On Repeat playlist on shuffle, I just put my Liked Songs on shuffle because I assumed that's what it said, but whatever

[salomasretired]

Tagged by @horrificgoth for one song using each letter of the url. Thanks

Thy Mission - The Garden

Rituals of Rot - Alla Xul Elu

INDIFFERENT - LeGrand

Cracker Island - Gorillaz

Harvey - Her’s

Obsessed With You - The Orion Experience

Monstrous - Metronomy

Only Seeing God When I Come - Sega Bodega

Not Before Our Time - Tub Ring

I Hate Everyone - Get Set Go

Alien Crime Lord - The Voidz

Sever - iamamiwhoami

If I Were You - Seeming

Stuff Is Way - They Might Be Giants

I don’t feel like linking songs even if I want to so um. Look some of these up they’re good

Tagged:

@1794 @saifey @dwn024 @worldsendgirlfriend @eggwraith @transfagget @infaguation @iloveyoumorethangod @pasta5284 @puyoed @parasitichoney @princessmo @alanbloom @astralgroceries @dwrg @dragonthroat @finnthewitch @fangshing @horrifiant @jevilcore @julaincacablancas @lifeblood @lucifer @kosmogrl @zweihanderblue @voidambassador @vasoconstriction @bloodhailmp3 @bifags @bulletproof-cupids @bestial4ngel @mithli @3dfangs @20wizards @2bu basically everypony. Feel free to do this or not or even if I didn’t tag you I don’t actually care (walking away)

WAIT I FORGOT @gashpriest

[rainingmusic]

Placebo - Bulletproof Cupid