#bughead dancing

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From Jughead’s Gag Bag, Archie Double Digest #15 (1985).  

[daphnefangirling]

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In case you needed a healthy dose of sunshine, Bughead fam 💛

[wolfofansbach]

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado: 

13. 

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.” 

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.” 

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews. 

In: 3 x 2 

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.” 

12. 

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews 

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy. 

11. 

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom. 

In: 1 x 1 

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons. 

10. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face. 

9. 

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.” 

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey. 

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant. 

8. 

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.” 

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5 

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it. 

7. 

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones. 

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’ 

6. 

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.” 

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14 

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna. 

5. 

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16. 

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration. 

4. 

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.” 

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5. 

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent. 

3. 

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.” 

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 6 x 22. 

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil. 

2. 

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.” 

Spoken by: Kevin Keller. 

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical. 

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 2 x 20. 

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale. 

[imreallyloveleee]

Where do you think it all went wrong with Riverdale?

honestly, part of me is like, the show's over and nothing but fandom matters. so who cares?

the other part of me loves to complain about Riverdale and will continue to do so until the day I die in the parking lot of Michael's Diner in Montgomeryville, PA at the age of 86. so, long-winded answer under the cut

I'm tempted to say it's the s4 b*rchie kiss. It was so wildly out of character for both Betty and Archie that it's laughable. You know how you can tell when something is just blatantly OOC with no justification? They...don't justify it. They find ways to dance around any interaction that might offer clarification. They mute the reactions of the characters who should be devastated by it. And then they jump ahead 7 years so it's easier to just handwave it away as something that happened a long time ago.

but the thing is, I did keep watching after that. I thought: okay, at least we should get an exes-to-lovers arc out of this, which is one of my favorite tropes. there is no way they would spend 4 seasons developing Bughead as this loving, supportive, communicative, sexy, and almost-unbelievably-compatible couple just to tear them apart and never do anything with that dynamic again. maybe it'll be even sweeter seeing them come back together after so much hurt and longing.

boy was i wrong!!!!!!!!!

so, the episode that actually made me stop watching for good, with the exception of some standalones like The Jughead Paradox and the finale, was the s5 musical. that was when i realized that this team of writers was 100% willing, maybe even eager, to completely drop storylines they themselves had been building over the course of a season - do a 180 with all of the characterization and relationships - and then act as though the buildup they wrote never even happened.

in this case, i'm specifically talking about the Bughead reunion storyline they dropped in s5. i'm not going to pretend like it was a GREAT buildup - and it was mostly on Jughead's side, Betty's character in s5 was basically an emotionless misery bot that had sex sometimes - but it was there. Jughead told Tabitha he had unresolved feelings around Betty. that's followed by an entire episode that lays out Betty & Jug's time jump relationship, and how Jughead still believes she's the one who saves him from himself. they work on a case together, they start opening up to one another. Jughead's so worried about her he can't eat.

and then...you know what happens.

(i'll also note here that there was random bts stuff that strongly indicated the musical ep storyline had a drastic last-minute rewrite: lili tweeted a blue dress, suggesting the song with that line was meant for her character; RAS said cole had to do last-minute recording sessions; supposedly crew members have confirmed this was the case, too. since none of it's 100% confirmed you can take it all with a grain of salt, but i believe it.)

it was so fucking insulting as a viewer to give my time and attention to a show made by people who would not only randomly drop the threads they set up, but torpedo them altogether, and then behave like the fans are the ones somehow at fault for expecting a story that actually follows through on its own emotional and plot beats. we're just shippers, so our opinions are dumb and biased! it's just a tv show, so who cares! get over it!

so, i stopped watching, because i knew they would continue to write without any thought or respect for their characters or their audience, and therefore inevitably write themselves into another corner. and, shocker, i was right. they did it again, whisking everyone away to the 1950s because actually resolving any of the scenarios they set up was ToO hArD. why bother when you could just make every single character Righteously Angry and Incurably Horny all the time, lecture the audience about social issues that have already been mainstream progressive for the last several decades, and call it a "love letter" to your fans?

[stonerbughead]

Bughead Fandom Love Day

I appreciate all the talented humans in our fandom so much! I've been active in the Bughead fandom since 2018, and while we've seen brighter days, I wouldn't trade meeting so many of you for anything! And I will stan our precious investigative duo till the end of time. In celebration of Bughead Appreciation Week 2023, here are some recs!

Favorite Bughead gifsets

@simon-eriksson's series of fanfics she loves! i will forever be obsessed with the one Lourdes made for my fic.

@bugheadchemistry's Bughead Touches series! so many soft moments captured.

@bettycooper's "that time" series ! no one's doing sassy bughead gifsets like Cat.

@bettyjugheads' investigative duo bughead set

@katherineebishop's beautiful blue and gold bughead set

Some favorite Bughead fics

a dark world aches (for a splash of the sun) by @heartunsettledsoul

a revelation in the light of day by @iconic-ponytail

Betty Cooper, Girl Reporter by @sullypants

step by step by @imreallyloveleee

Let it Snow by @go-ldy

speak by @heavy-lies-the-crown

I’ll be the one by @literatiruinedme

The Space Between by @bugheadsextape

modern love by @stillscape

i'm letting go (of everything but you) by @thetaoofbetty

A Perpetual Estrangement by @satelliteinasupernova

A Written Life series by @darknessaroundus

Waking Druantia by @likemereckless

Viper Radio by @lucivar

The Lightning by @thepointoftheneedle

it's so nice (to be stoned) by @ms-maj

Written in Blood by @kesleyjo

to all the boys (but especially you) by @lovedinapastlife

april come she will by @flwrpotts

swept up in your hurricane by @jugandbettsdetectiveagency

Serpent Strings by @bluevelvetvideo

Some favorite Bughead fanart

bughead makin out against jug's motorcycle by @celandineitsaflowerdickward

a kiss at the center of the universe by satelliteinasupernova

bughead dancing by @alpacalypseartb

1x06 kiss by @archiesart

Bughead and toffee by @edgarsabandonedrocketship

Other Must Follow Blogs:

@ketelonebotanical @winterlovesong1 @thatiranianphantom @lurker-no-more @stillhidden @middleagedresidentofriverdale @bughead-bones @onlyalittlebookworm @underrmyumbrellaella @feisty-aquarius4 @edamamechips @bugheadcuddles @mrscolesprouse @daphnesvieira @raymondebidochonlifechoices @bettsc @djgrannyglasses @good-night-dodger @theheavycrown

it made me stop tagging people i believe, so i'm sorry if i missed anyone!!! i'll try to tag in the replies anyone i remember <3 LOVE YOU ALL, HAPPY BUGHEAD FANDOM LOVE DAY!

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale s7 e1

There is a lot of commentary about whether the show is bad or good, and among those who hold that it's bad, a debate about whether said badness is intentional (It's camp! It's satire! It's  commentary on culture and/or our times!) or brought about from a lack of talent or planning by the producers, writers and/or actors.

What I say is this - I love the care with which Riverdale is made.  Starting with the S7 opening sequence!!

Archie’s painted hot rod is shown, then as the song plays Archie spins into view, his face framed in a little circle. He's doing something with his eyebrows. His smile is just a little off. Not a LOT off. Just off.  Immediately after that we see him press a kiss to Mary Andrews' cheek. We know it's all wrong because Mary Andrews is wary of the violence of this son that she regrets mothering and can't wait to get rid of.  They are not this affectionate.

Next up is Betty Cooper, short hair in the cutest ringlets, smiling sweetly, looking wholesome.  Betty Cooper found the pressure to be sweetly wholesome unbearably suffocating all six seasons of this show.  Immediately after her is Veronica with the most spectacular bangs,  looking pretty and hard and insincere.  These are things that Veronica hates to be thought of as.  

Then comes Cheryl, severely annoyed to be there, giving an evil eyed false smile.  Assuming arguendo that this is Jughead as world-maker as well as narrator, the fact that Cheryl gets to have a do-over of her intro in the montage, a doubling-up if you will, is noteworthy.  Everyone else gets the one shot in the juke box, but Cheryl gets a twofer, wearing the Lolita-Grundy sunglasses and pouting over the door of a great looking convertible. Kevin, looking gormless is up next and it makes me feel worried. Toni Topaz is looking ultra heterosexual with her long ponytail up-do. She winks at the  audience.  This is not edgy Serpent Queen Toni at all. But she and Veronica both look spectacular with bangs.  Tabitha in white cats’ eye glasses and white gloves, blows a kiss to the audience, looking sheltered and innocent when we all know she's a weirdo and not above cosplaying a truck stop hooker to catch a killer.  

The only person who looks like "himself" is Jughead, who comes last.  Worried, frantic, concerned and unhappy - basically, fail-adult Jughead without Tabitha.  Poor Jughead.

The year, he says, is 1955 and apparently people didn't mind when couples executed complicated dances involving swirling skirts inside a diner where people are trying to eat.  Jughead is narrating as he clatters away on a huge typewriter at the Diner.  Apparently the patrons don't mind that either. Does he keep it there?  Did he commandeer the one in the office?? Does he haul it around??

As Jughead narrates, speculating about where he is - Not sure if he's in the past or the past of an alternate universe -  he speaks faster and more frantically, sounding more and more like Bunker Jughead of Rivervale.  He tries to sound unhappy about living in a railcar with Hot Dog (". . . which actually tracks" sighhhh) but we all know he's relieved he's not homeless and couch surfing. Having a dog and a residence of his own is more stability than he's had since graduating high school and before Jabitha began cohabitation.

They're all juniors in high school again!  Betty and Kevin holding hands down the hallway, Betty in excellent patterned pants with eyes only for Kevin who won't look at her.  Jughead looks at the two of them with an expression of suppressing in indigestion burp but neither notice him.  Jughead is worried for Betty, all the time, nonstop, in every universe.  Plus Bughead were the horniest little fuckers in any high school on American television ever, and so the fact of Betty dating a gay man worries Jughead.  He doesn’t want to have sex with her anymore, yet Jughead wants Betty to have good things.  And Jughead has never liked Kevin much, but he’s worried for Kevin too. Betty wasn’t and isn’t a girl who takes not getting her way with grace.

Cheryl still has a twin brother, but she is completely not at all in love with this one.  The face she makes is not of a girl dominating the halls of her high school with her soulmate.  Jughead feels very similar about this iteration of a Boy Blossom, noting first and foremost that this kiddo is Cheryl’s twin, then second that he is not Jason, before introducing us to his actual name: Julian.

Julian like the possessed doll, the chimera twin that got eaten by Cheryl in the womb, etc, that Julian. Who actually knew this Julian name, other than Toni?  

Jughead’s thoughts turn directly from Cheryl to Not-Jason to Reggie then on to Archie.  This is the first of several pings back to earlier seasons, which I am sure I’m not going to be able to catch in a perfect way.  But!  Reggie and Jason were constantly in each other’s company in Jughead’s hallucinatory reminiscences of Jason during S1, even though Reggie barely ever mentioned Jason, and Cheryl has never been shown actually discussing Jason with either Reggie 1.0 or 2.0.

The key thing that Jughead notices about Archie is his body, in the same way the key thing he notices about Julian is that he is not Jason.  Archie being wholesome enough to kiss his mom on the cheek goodbye every morning being into body building in 1955 is very progressive (and gay) of him, isn’t it?  That sort of muscular build was still sort of a niche thing, I thought.

Jughead has been frowning at all these people for quite a while, long enough to confirm that they have no recollection of their S6 selves.  He hasn’t seen Tabitha, who he helpfully explains is chronokinetic and the town’s literal guardian angel AND his girlfriend.

Just in time, Pop Tate announces that the bus from Mississippi has arrived.  Tabitha, looking very sad, is accompanied by Toni, equally sad, and a third person, who I assumed was Chuck even though the actor has changed because that wouldn’t be Munroe.  Sadness from having to witness an act of racial injustice and hatred makes people move in slow motion into the Diner.

Jughead watches Tabitha slowly walk past him before he calls her name.  The way he says “Tabitha” is so cautious, because she might reject any conversation with the guy wearing a bulky sweater with the S stamped on it AND a felt crown making very loud tappity tap noises at her grandfather’s diner, and hopeful, because maybe they’re friends, and maybe hearing Jughead will make this Tabitha remember season 6.  The guarded, questioning response he gets from her makes Jughead change tack fast, to discuss the Emmett Till hearing verdict as something he heard “on the radio.”   When Jughead says the verdict made him “sick to my stomach” Tabitha frowns slightly, wary of where he might go with this, perhaps.   Tabitha saying that she and her friends are trying to figure out what they should do next, Jughead isn’t even breathing.  He’s watching her so hard, so hopeful that Tabitha will give him some hint that she knows this is the wrong universe, and so worried she might not.

When she asks him to confirm that his name is Jughead in a way that indicates they aren’t even friends in this universe, Jughead is so hurt that his drops out of his careful, speak-in-full-sentences 1950s speech, and stutters.  His eyes get much, much sadder, right before he says it’s overwhelming and heartbreaking.  He looks like he might cry.   Poor Jughead.  

The cruelty of his fate is astounding.  He was a kid who was left behind and rejected by his mother, let to live homeless by his father, rejected by Fred Andrews, routinely forgotten by his girlfriend during what he thought of as their shared childhood memories, and now, the singularly stable adult friendship and relationship of his life is like it never existed.  Jughead Jones is someone who hasn’t ever been without a girlfriend, it seems since starting one with Betty Cooper, but now when he needs a relationship the most, Tabitha literally doesn’t know him.

Simply because Tabitha Tate doesn’t know him, Jughead hates everything about the 1950s. (Whoever said the 1950s was the greatest decade should have their head examined, he deadpans.)

Archie is trying to skip out of the house when Mary calls to him.  Archie grimaces so hard at his mother’s summons that I can see it through the back of his head.  This did give me a small twinge of hope that maybe he does remember S1-6, and that Archie is putting on this wholesome teenager act, same as Jughead, until he can figure out what’s going on.  He puts on an evidently false face of doe-eyed innocence when he gets it together to go talk to his mother. He’s literally never made that face before in the past six years.

Mary Andrews is very upset about the photos of James Dean’s car accident in the papers, so she confiscates the keys to Archie’s “hotrod” with “fire painted on its sides.” Archie tries to talk his way out of this but fails.  He longingly looks at his “barely above a jalopy” vehicle before turning to face the reality of having to take a very old looking bicycle to school.

Archie has never been this cute to me. His little face!   Then he’s peddling uphill, getting honked at, and so mad .  Just, adorable.  I wanna give him a cookie.   He gets to school just in time.

Meanwhile, Betty in her very excellent 1950s pants is sitting with Toni in the Blue and Gold room.  Her sweater says Betty on it in a curly font.  With her short blonde curls framing her sweet face Betty looks picture perfect. She and Toni both have such enormous eyes that I keep getting distracted from the serious topic they are discussing - how to get past the school censors to properly cover the Emmett Till travesty.  When Betty says she will throw her weight behind getting the story told, Toni smiles at her in a small cheek scrunching way that she’s never done before.  She looks amazing, by the way - the bangs, the big hoop earrings, the scarf /headband thing in her hair, the Southside Serpent Jeans jacket.

Cut to a class where a 1950s tv announcer voice is explaining what a mill is (a souped up hot rod or jalopy) in a film the class are watching  when the principal (Warden Norton repurposed as Principal Featherhead!) bursts in to make an announcement.  Archie is wearing an R sweater, with Jughead in the S sweater seated nearby.

What do these mean??

Veronica make an iconic entrance, complete with heralding blues horns.  Yellow heels, yellow belt, black dress with white polka dots, black purse,  sunglasses, big black sunhat trimmed with the same fabric as her dress, and red lips.  Lace gloves with little black polka dots.

OMG SHE LOOKS SO HOT.

I want this whole thing.  I make a vow to only wear yellow heels with black dresses.

Archie, getting his first look, drops his pencil.  (Kevin, right behind him, has no reaction whatsoever.)  Jughead, Tabitha-less, looks constipated as he notes:  ��Damn.”

Girl, that’s what I said!

With everyone else in some sort of sweater or jacket, buttoned up to the neck, Veronica’s plunging neckline and sleeveless dress makes her look practically naked.   She’s a Hollywood scion - Hermione and Hiram have “Amercia’s number one rated television program,” and of course they’re going to call it, Oh Mija!

I LOVED this in-joke, because it functions as a tribute to Hiram.  Mija was the word he said the most, after, maybe, Archie.

For some reason, this whole situation - Veronica’s appearance, introduction, presence and existence- piss Cheryl off entirely.  She is huffing, rolling her eyes, and generally extremely antsy.

Seated right behind her, Archie is just in heaven. Veronica is being very alternative-universe here: her self introduction is very pompous.  Real Veronica Lodge actually hates pomposity.  Her vocabulary is still very Jughead-huge though (“opportune” and “raven haired.”)  Veronica says that she’s trying a method acting type of thing (de rigueur for the age perhaps - another thing she might actually say) of experiencing small town life so she can better portray the “innocent ingenue” in the upcoming production of “Our Town.”

Longtime viewers are meant to know that she is lying about staying with an aunt-and-uncle, mostly because these people have never been introduced in the past six seasons.  As far as we’ve ever been told about Hiram in the competing lores of his life, he doesn’t have siblings. We have almost no lore about Hermione, other than FP hit on her almost once in high school and she had the affair with Fred Andrews as an adult.

Both Cheryl and Betty do not like that Veronica called them “small town lifers” basically.   Archie is entirely entranced with her, laughing at every little joke that Veronica makes, and even Cheryl pointedly turning in her seat to glare at him can’t make his besotted grin falter even a little bit.  

Veronica purrs and preens when she calls herself “the scion of Tinseltown royalty.”  I’m surprised she doesn’t roll her Rs.  When she winsomely says Thank You, Archie, whose face has been lit up like a christmas tree this whole time, bursts into solitary applause.   Cheryl is still very mad, but Archie gets rewarded with an extremely sexy wink by Veronica for being such an immediate fan.  

Is that a blush I see on Archie’s face?

I love this Archie. He’s so cute.

The table that Veronica chooses to try to join is Cheryl, Betty,  Kevin, Julian and Archie.  This is a weird fricking cluster of people.  Cheryl and Betty? And what the heck would Kevin and Julian have in common?   When Veronica asks to sit, Cheryl wants to say no but she is betrayed by both of the other redheads, who clear the space immediately.  Veronica comes to perch gracefully between the two redhead boys.  

Veronica says she caught all their names in the class they were just in.  Of course, Betty having BETTY embroidered into her sweater probably helps with that too.   Remembering that the R wearing Archie is Archie might be more of a feat.   Veronica shows that she took Cheryl’s eye rolls to heart by pointedly asking Cheryl what her name was.  Cheryl is extremely displeased, yet again.   This seems to know exactly what just happened between Veronica and Cheryl- he is trying very hard not to laugh too much.

Cheryl tries to explain that that they’d been discussing James Dean’s death, very self-importantly adding that she is president of his fanclub, when she gets undermined by Julian, who interrupts with a very weak joke about the Oh Mija! show being “high-larious,” to Veronica.   He says that the Blossoms “tune in every week” which must be a lie, because Cheryl’s whole face sours.  Betty and Kevin seem like they’re on the same wavelength.  They project the same calm, almost bovine energy when they ask Veronica where she lived in LA (BelAir) and if she knew James Dean.

Cheryl sharply tells Kevin off for being “so provincial,” then goes off to sideways disparage Veronica by implying that she wasn’t important enough to be a friend of James Dean, a person who was friends with Elizabethe Taylor.   Turns out Veronica Lodge was ‘friendly’ with Jimmy, “friendly” enough to go skinny dipping together at the Chateau Marmaduke (standing in for Chateau Marmont).  

This makes Archie choke.  Literally.  He focuses on “skinny dipping” -Veronica! Naked! She does Naked things! - while Betty and Kevin (Bevin? Ketty??) are entranced about being that friendly with James Dean.  Julian is more in Archie’s camp - he wants to know if Veronica has done the naked thing once or more than once.  I so appreciate the asshole energy that Julian projects nonstop.  He reminds me a lot of Bret Weston Wallis that way. You know on sight that he’s a dickhead, which is 180 degrees different from the angelic way that Jughead used to hallucinate Jason.

When Cheryl plays with her hair to sarcastically ask if Veronica will claim that she had dated Jimmy Dean, Veronica says no, but then drops a bombshell.  James Dean “played both sides of the net.”  In case the small town rubes don’t get her meaning, Veronica clarifies that this means both girls and boys.  Kevin has a milder version of Archie’s choking reaction from seconds before at this thought.  He’s smiling, and Betty is frowning.  Oh?  Oh???

When Kevin wants Veronica to name what James Dean was, Archie interrupts. This made me wonder if there  was a 1950s term for bisexual, that everyone would’ve known, that you can say on a CW show in 2023?    I guess not because Kevin never gets to finish his question.

Archie has a confused reaction, which fits canon so far and why Jarchie hasn’t happened yet even though it should.  He finds the concept of regular guys who are almost cowboys (all American? Is that what he means to say?) being anything other than 100% proof heterosexual incomprehensible.  Cheryl reacts with homophobic anger - it’s besmirchment, it’s foul, to say Jimmy Dean was not straight.   When Veronica calls her provincial, Cheryl slut shames her.  Nobody cares that Cheryl has flounced off, so now Kevin wants to know about Sal Mineo.

Kevin is definitely not straight in this universe.  Veronica knows it, apparently immediately. Poor Betty.

In science class later that day we see ETHEL is Jughead’s lab desk partner. Jughead is miserable to be back in high school.  He has an Asian American science teacher, who wears nerdy round glasses and has a bit of a lisp.  The teacher says Bailey Comet is due to arrive in two years.   He sounds vaguely Singporean, his teacher.  

Cut to Cheryl screaming GUYS as she floats in the air, trying to ice the comet.

Cut to the end of school, where Archie winsomely offers Veronica an escort home.  He has no ride, however, and Veronica isn’t the type of girl to walk. (She also just can’t, not in those high heels.)  Julian has offered Veronica a ride, ditching his sister wholesale.  JASON WOULD NEVER. Archie and Cheryl can’t bear to look at each other in the face of this rejection they’ve suffered.

In the waning light, Betty and Veronica are trying to talk to two old white men.  Dupont from Stonewall is here in Riverdale now as Werther a ‘child psychiatrist’ who fully backs Warden, I mean Principal, Featherhead that the Emmett Till murder and trial are not suitable subject matter for the school paper.

Toni tries to advocate for publication by saying that people need to know what happened “so that it doesn’t happen again.”  That is so adorable and incorrect.  Knowing something terrible happened again does not in any way ensure that it doesn’t keep happening.  I think the better way to think about it is, We owe it to the wronged to mark their stories.  Featherhead shoots her down by saying that “these sorts of things don’t happen in Riverdale.”  He also says a wrong thing - that “change doesn’t happen overnight.” Actually all change happens overnight.  That’s where there’s always a backlash to any progress, because those who can’t keep up want to turn it back. A lot of the time, they succeed.  In any case, Featherstone patronizes Toni by telling her take satisfaction in how ‘well written’ in article is.

Later, at family dinner in which Polly and Charles don’t exist, Betty tries to push her parents into reading Toni’s article on the air at their nightly broadcast on RIVW.  15 minutes is what they get, of which Toni’s article would take a whole minute.   Hal’s 50s persona is very hilarious.  He looks extremely shifty and chipunky, reminding me quite a lot of Peter Pettigrew of all things.  Alice has absolutely killer eyebrows, sharp enough to slice your face open.   They both repeat Featherstone’s line about the article being ‘well written’ but have no intention of rocking the boat.   Betty is angry but she is overruled by the power of the Blossom money and her parents not wanting to upset their only sponsor.

1950s Archie is still the cutest.  He is working his car, underneath it, as he breathlessly narrates his ove for Veronica Lodge.  He actually says SHAZAM!  persuasively.  Hit with a thunderbolt indeed.  He’s so 1950s in fact that the things he says and the way he says them feel suspicious too perfect. “How’s a guy like me gonna get anywhere with a girl like Veronica Lodge” and so  forth.  Jughead is perched like a depressed crow in his S sweater that seems to get darker and darker as the day goes on, looking off to the side and not listening to this earnest puppy love talk.

Jughead’s narration takes over. He is just so anxious.  He’s talking so fast, thinking about Bailey’s Comet, trying to harness that to get back to the future. “But I needed [ pause ] help.”  He sounds increasingly like the wigged out Bunker Jug of Rivervale.  Archie asks for his dad’s hammer, which sets off Jughead’s memory - that Archie buried the hammer in the time capsule.

The capsule they buried in the year 2020 when they graduated from high school, not to be confused with the year 2020 when they were 6 years after graduating from high school, might still be in existence in 1955 even though they were sent ‘back’ to this time from the first but not the second 2020.

Jughead seems to think this is a logical leap and I am very tickled. I kind of find it annoying (sorry, anti-intellectualism incoming, mea culpa in advance) when time travel stories get too precious about theoretical physics, so this made me very pleased with the wild swings they take in narrative on Riverdale.

So! Jughead asks for a shovel to Archie, who gives him an odd look. Is it because Archie thinks “Can I borrow a shovel?” is a really weird response to “Have you seen my dad’s hammer?” or is it because Archie knows something?

Later that night, Jughead is digging something out of the ground again. Grave robbery is one of his leitmotifs, I suppose?   He hits something hard, and guess what! It’s the time capsule.  Jughead is out of breath as he says “Thank God” but he seems just as frantic and scared as before.  And dun dun!! Someone is watching him do all this from the shadows!  The hairline looks vaguely like Tabitha.

Veronica is going to school the next day, wearing  more modest neckline and weather appropriate warm clothes.   Archie has somehow gotten his car out of the garage, so now he’s able to offer her a ride home. She’s very pleased, but Jughead walks right in between the two of them, carrying the time capsule ice box. Summarily, he insists that the two of them come meet him in the music room. Veronica has no idea who he is.

In the music room, they’re all holding their 2020 self’s contribution to the time capsule.  Toni has never seen the Pretty Poisons jacket.  Veronica thinks the Pop’s menu is an only passable prop.  Betty finds the headlines to be “like Dr. Seuss” meaning amusing gibberish, perhaps?   And Kevin keeps asking unanswerable questions - he wants to know what the “inch” is in Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  Archie wants to know when Jughead buried Fred’s hammer in a cooler.

Jughead tackles that one first, saying “YOU did.”  Archie genuinely looks like he has no idea what Jughead’ is talking about, but I’ve sussed it out now - 1950s Archie’s response to confusion is to smile about it. So he smiles.  Jughead can see that his attempt to “shake something loose” in his friends’ minds isn’t working, so in his frustration, his presentation starts to get very garbled.  He tells them they buried all these things 67 years ago IN THE FUTURE which, given the tenses, doesn’t even amount to English.   He says they need to get back to ‘our present, our future’ before full on stuttering.  Betty is concerned, Cheryl is annoyed, Toni and Kevin look embarrassed for Jughead, Archie is smiling because he’s confused.  Veronica, however, is very entertained.  

Archie wants to know what Jughead buried.  Jughead knows it was his “yarn beanie” but then says it wasn’t in the time capsule.  For some reason, this takes the fun out of this exercise for Archie, the fact that Jughead didn’t include an item of his own in the ‘cooler.’

Veronica says she’ll play along, and asks if she or Elizabeth Taylor is more famous in the future.  Cheryl, not to be outdone, cuts in with a request to give a bird’s eye view of the future.  Jughead has not thought this far in advance, so his answer is (adorably) piss poor.  he just throw things out - smartphones,  text messages, spotify, the internet - in THAT order which is the most confusing thing of all time.  Betty tries to help him out since he’s getting frantic during this speech that makes no sense to her - she asks Jughead to describe everyone’s Season 6 selves.

Jughead’s summaries are as follows:  Archie was in the army, fought in a war. Betty was in FBI hunting serial killers.  The way Betty practically salivates at the word serial killer, which doesn’t exist as a word yet, is VERY interesting.  Veronica owns a casino, and before that a speakeasy.  Toni bought the speakeasy, turned it into a biker bar.  Both Veronica and Toni are charmed by this story.  

Jughead positively chokes when he tries to summarize Kevin’s life.  He can tell, by this time, that this is going very sideways, which won’t be helped by how out of sorts Kevin’s life became by the end of Season 6.  Kevin is summarized as directing some musicals, after which he joined an organ harvesting cult.  Not wrong, but not very fulsome.  Cheryl, Jughead says, was possessed by an ancestor and became a witch.  She is not a happy customer, at all.

Archie says a fascinating thing- that he wouldn’t want to go back to the future because “we” sound miserable. Well, given that he was just told he joined the army and went to war, this is true for him, but not all the futures are miserable.

Veronica wants to know how the whole ‘going back to the future’ thing will happen, to which Jughead’s entire presentation falls completely apart. When he says that one of the ways might be a comet, Toni (who has tried very hard to be polite so far) gives a What the fuck look to Betty, who answers it with a Oh he’s just like this smile.   Jughead is fully in frantic world-maintainer Bunker Jughead mode now, and starts shouting about having Archie and Betty make out on Archie’s bed and then “BLOW  UP A BOMB UNDERNEATH THEM.”

This is so funny. I love with Jughead gets all Bunker-Jug, with the shouting and the extreme hand gestures. Is he perhaps channeling Hiram??

Everyone thinks this is very funny, but Archie has had enough.  Archie tries to make Jughead ‘take five’ which puts Jughead fully into feral motormouth mode to ask “YOU’RENOTGONNABEATMEUPAREYOUCUZYOU’REREALLYVIOLENTINTHEFUTURE”

The whole sentence is spit out as one long word.

When the two of them are alone in the gym, Archie lets it rip.  “People are going to think you belong in the looney bin with the other nutjobs!” and “It’s hard enough without your crazy stories” etc.  Jughead is coming down from his frantic mania so being called a ‘nut job’ is not helping.  His eyes actually start to glisten with tears.  “You think I’m crazy?” he asks, in a more normal, much sadder cadence.   Jughead is so upset, and so lonely, and so despairing.

This is a big change from his mid teens, when he took on being not understood, being isolated, unique and alone, as a badge of honor.  This Jughead understands the horror of being trapped in a solitary reality.  He can’t even stand to look at Archie, because that would mean confronting how trapped and alone he actually is in this universe.  Archie tries to be kind, telling him to keep using his ‘overactive’ imagination by channeling that energy into creating fiction.  When Jughead gives up altogether, and agrees, Archie actually skips a couple steps (something he’s never done in any of the other universes) before leaving Jughead standing in the gym.

At the very red, very depressing Blossom mansion, Penelope, who has the most fascinating hairdo (it’s both ornate and simple, hideous and perfectly coiffed) while dressed like the nightmare camp version of the English queen wants to know why  her twins look so sullen.  The way the Blossom twins of this universe bicker seems much more realistic, and, accordingly, much more dull.   I think this is post facto validation for the way the Cheryl-Jason relationship is in the S1-6 canon. It’s so much more interesting than this mundanity between Julian and Cheryl.

Penelope delivers movie magazines to Cheryl, and on the cover is someone not Veronica Lodge being cast in Our Town!

Meanwhile, Veronica is on a date with Archie at Pop’s!  She loves the food. All her attempts to make lighthearted conversation with Archie fail.  He has no idea who Gloria Swanson is.  This literally breaks Veronica’s spirit.   So she changes her line of questioning - “Tell me everything there is to know about Archie Andrews.”

His life is so boring.  “Work on my car. I like sports. I come here to pops. And i hangout at sweet water river.  mostly to fish.”

Then Archie reveals that Fred didn’t make it back from the Korean War, making him one of the 33,000 American servicemen who died.  Thank you Fred Andrews for your service, I guess? I’m slightly peeved that they didn’t make up a different war like they did for Archie to go fight in during the 2020 that lasted for seven years, but then they used the real Emmett Till story so they might as well use the Korean War, I suppose.  Archie is very used to people being upset about having asked, as well as not knowing what to say, so he is very smooth in the way he assures Veronica that “It’s OK” when she tries to apologize for prying.   In this universe, Mary Andrews works part time at the dress shop (no lawyering for her, alas).   I’m shocked she doesn’t work at Pop’s.  Though I guess maybe this economy is better.

Archie has never had a serious girlfriend by his Junior year of HS, about which Veronica is shocked.  Two days after meeting Veronica and in the course of their first real date, Archie more or less says that he wants to be Veronica’s boyfriend. He looks so starry eyed at her, that Veronica is extremely charmed. (So am I.)

But Veronica can’t be let to have nice things, so in comes Cheryl, shouting “J’accuse!”  Cheryl hates Veronica SO MUCH.  Just the ad hominem insults - “lying liar of a spoiled brat” and “banished by your parents!”  - and she insists on shouting the fact that Veronica employed a bit of puffery when she was introducing herself to the class.  

At the Pembroke, Veronica is weeping while consoled by Archie.  Archie tries to say nobody takes Cheryl seriously  Veronica fesses up that she was in fact banished, and she was a problem for her parents.   Veronica says she was ignored and sidelined since the Lodges started Oh Mija!  This is fascinating actually because Veronica’s persistent problem during her high school years was that both her parents were completely obsessed with her- and when she acquired a hitherto unknown older sibling halfway through her years in high school, Hermosa exhibited the same Lodge trait - obsession with Veronica, wanting to love her, wanting and willing to shoot at people on her behalf, and hating her just the little bit.  Now, in this universe, she’s an inconvenient burden neither parents cares much about - which indicates that Veronica was so the object of her parents’ focus because the two of them didn’t have sufficient creative outlets.  “The show is their real baby, not me.”    

This happened in a slower way during S5-6.  When Hiram finally, FINALLY killed off Riverdale and began his SoDale giant real estate project, he stopped being as invested in Veronica per se.  And when Hermione found the semi-acting gig of being a “Real Housewife,” she disappeared entirely out of Veronica’s life.

It turns out Veronica’s deep dark secret, the thing that got her banished to Riverdale by her parents, was that she was in fact tangentially involved in James Dean’s death.  She was one of several good time girls who formed a sort of racing fandom for Dean, and were going to meet him to cheer him on during a race.  

After consoling Veronica, Archie gets home late, to be immediately yelled at by Mary.  Mary is traumatized by the loss of Fred Andrews - which she honestly wasn’t very much in S4-6. Maybe this is why, if he does remember, Archie prefers to stay in this universe.    He has a mom who cares deeply that his father died.  Mother and son bond over their shared loss.  The compromise is that Archie is allowed to drive as long as his car goes very, very slow.  I will also note that his question about how he took HIS car out in a drive is a very unteenager thing to say.  So the question remains - what does Archie know or sense about this alternate universe?

In a fit of masochism, Veronica watches her parents’ show.  The kid cast to play the Mija is Tillie Temple (aka Shirley Temple, perhaps??).  Veronica hates Tilie.  Of course, right now is when Hermione calls.   Turns out someone is keeping a strict eye on the guests that Veronica has over at the apartment.  Veronica wants to go home for Thanksgiving, but Hermione doesn’t say she can come.  She has Orson Welles visiting.  Veronica is so lonely.   This is also new for Veronica - Maternal rejection has never been her problem.  That was usually reserved for Jughead, Cheryl and to a lesser extent, Betty and Archie.

Betty reads the Emmett Till newsletter which show the pictures of what Till went through.  It radicalizes Betty  into wanting to publish the article Toni wrote.  But Toni wants to read a poem out during the morning announcements. There’s an echo of the larger theme in S1 through 6 here.  In previous seasons, Cheryl took it upon herself to make up for her ancestor’s sins. In this one, Toni wants Cheryl to make it up to - who? Toni? the world? - someone for her parents’ cowardice in not wanting to cover the Till murder.   Toni is planning an ambush.

Tabitha immediately approaches Jughead She asks for help.  NAACP is taking Emmett Till’s mother on tour, so Tabitha is going with them.  What Tabitha needs someone to help her ‘stay on top of’ school while she is on this tour.  It’s really not clear to me what that will be, but Jughead - though he is crushed that this Tabitha doesn’t even seem to know him at all - agrees immediately.  His eyes get all sad again, as he looks with wistful tenderness at this person who is exactly like his girlfriend but isn’t, at all.   He smiles and says “Awesome!” which he corrects to “Swell.”

Meanwhile Toni ambushes Cheryl in the bathroom with Betty.  Cheryl doesn’t mind letting Toni borrow her platform, but points out that Featherhead has pulled the plug before.  For what, I wonder? When??  She’s otherwise very easily persuaded.

Tabitha has fainted, Featherhead is tending to her, Miss Bell is off, and so now, Toni can take over the morning announcement!

As Toni was reading the Langston Hughes poem I realized with the Rs and Ss stand for on those sweaters. R is for Riverdale.  A bunch of other students have Rs emblazoned on their sweaters and sweatshirts.  So the S must be for Southside.  Jughead wears a Southside High sweater all the time to attend Riverdale High, and they just let him!

So anyway Toni exhorts everyone to ‘talk to each other’ about it, and this is the third weird lie propagated in American society.  The emphasis on dialogue as somehow a catalyst for systemic change, which it is not

The four girls get a telling off from Featherhead, who tries to call them liars -but Tabitha has an answer for that (she felt sick! but felt better!) and insubordinate - but Cheryl has an answer for that (there has not been a rule that poetry can’t be read during the morning announcement or that they have to pass censorship).  

In the classroom later, the teacher does open up the discussion to the topic, but see, this is the problem.  It puts the burden on the three people of color - Tabitha, Toni, and the unnamed guy I have assumed is Chuck Clayton- to explain reality to everyone else, who can be passive recipients of information and responsible only for articulating their emotional responses.

Later that school day, Veronica is offered a ride by both Julian and Archie, and rejects them both in favor of walking home!

Late at night, Jughead is freaking out by himself in the diner, no typewriter.  He is cracking up.  Maybe seasons 1-6 were the dream and he finally woke up!!  

Tabitha slides into the booth and Glory Hallelujah it’s HIS Tabitha!  “The Tabitha who remembers and loves you.”  He reaches out to grasp her with both hands.  He’s so happy to see her, he says, covering his eyes with one hand, trying not to burst into tears.  Tabitha says that the comet hit because Cheryl failed, so they had their extinction level event  after all.  This isn’t the Sweet Hereafter.  She instead used her life force to send everyone back to 1955 to try to change the future.  She has to be ALONE to untangle all the messed up timelines.  “You have to make a go of it here in the 50s.”

So she parked Jughead here in 1955 to be safe, but because he kept remembering the actual reality (and could drive himself insane or further corrupt the safe timeline) she had to come back to make him forget, so that he can “live in the present, in the moment.”   Oh, but Tabitha.  Jughead was already so bad at that!  And now that’s his part of the mission? To hold it together without her while she fixes the universe?

Jabitha may be the MOST EPIC relationship in scale which doesn’t quite make up for the tiny amount of screen time we’re likely to get if Tabitha has decided that she has to solve this universe sized problem ALONE.  Jughead was willing to die a LOT.  Tabitha went through every single scenario where Jughead died to see how to make that not happen.  And now, Jughead is going to endure having the happiest time of his life wiped from memory - the time when he was a stable adult, who knew who he was in the world, when he was in a relationship and family unit of people who accepted him and supported him, when he had a real home - because Tabitha says it’s “for the best.”  He decides to trust her with erasing the thing that any of us hold the dearest - his memories that constitute his sense of self.   And can we talk about Tabitha’s self sacrifice?  She’s going to do this very difficult work of setting the UNIVERSE RIGHT while voluntarily, entirely, completely forgotten (by her own hand!) by her significant other who adores her,  all her friends in the community she chose to become independent from her parents, all alone.  

Holy shit.

Jughead’s sprint home after their kiss, which rightly seems to freeze time to be everlasting before Tabitha steps away, is so desperate and frantic.  Jughead who was terrified of being forgotten is beginning to forget the most important person in his adult life. All he has are the words “bend. toward. justice.” and the sense that something terrible has just happened to him, without the ability to remember what it is.   This isn’t the Sweet Hereafter.  This has to be hell.

I am LOVING this.  It’s so BIG.  I wish they could SHOW it though.  But I think eventually, because the universe does in fact bend towards justice, someone will write me the fanfic that will have me lain flat on the floor from devastation.  Because omg the Jabitha relationship has SCOPE.

And the final kicker-  Jughead doesn’t recognize his stupid hat.  Ha!

P.S.  The title reference, “Don’t Worry Darling”  if it’s to that movie that came out this year, in 2023, then it’s very twisty and fun.  Because that movie is about a man manipulating a woman’s mind for his own aggrandizement, and this episode is the mirror of that - a woman manipulating a man’s mind, with his explicit agreement, to save the universe.

[thatiranianphantom]

Hi there.

Your ship is dead. Bullying a grown man and hiding behind ‘bUT IM A TEENAGER” is bullshit. If you have ANY ounce of dignity, just stop fucking watching the show. You are going to drain yourself and drive yourself crazy over a fictional tv ship which you don’t DESERVE. Maybe I might have had sympathy for you in season 4. Before you bullied half of the cast and lili to tears (do you remember when she had to come out and say ‘it’s a fucking tv show’ only for you to STILL whine and cry and throw your bottles? Ted is right. You are the most disrespectful, selfish freaks of fandom I’ve ever come across and I hope to god you grow the fuck up and get TV comprehension skills. Because you have ZERO. Crying about the ratings which have been falling since season 3 is not going to bring back your CORPSE of a ship. Betty and Jughead don’t even like each other and you expect them to fuck? You will cry when the writers are “sexualising teenagers!!!” But when Betty and Jughead were having roleplay sex as 16 year olds it was fine?

You cried and begged and demanded bughead sex scenes and bABY JULIET when these kids were 15/16 years old and you call out the writers for being creepy now? NOW???? You call Archie disgusting and using Betty as a “baby maker” doll, housewife, but you have wanted that woman (or CHILD) fucking rat boy and having his kids since they were literally kids themselves? Do you see the hypocrisy or should I continue?

“How DARE the writers have Betty change everything about herself for Archie that is so GROSS AND MISOGYNISTIC.”

Yep. And Betty didn’t do a serpent dance at 15 to fit into Jughead’s world?? Now that is changing herself for a boy.

You’re hypocrites and are salty because your ship is dead, the actors despise each other, and you can’t make Sprousehart edits without the feeling that it may be wrong, because rat boy is an abuser. Barchie have never tried to erase bughead. Because it happened. It was cute, and it was a thing that happened. Betty loved him.

But the fact that you constantly delude yourselves with insane theories which are wrong every single time to erase barchie is hilarious. Seriously. “It’s an au!! “Archie’s light gives Betty headaches!” “We are going back to 5x17!” “Jughead shielded Betty” “the season 6 universe was erased!” That makes it clear you see barchie as developed, and real. And a THREAT which you can’t shop unless you erase it. You can’t hide behind “it’s forced! “It came out of nowhere!” Barchie was building from the first episode. If you cannot understand the point of two mains Archie and Betty, slowly getting feelings while being with other people; you are either stupid, or a child. This show was RULED by bughead and lili and Cole can service. The teen choice award you keep talking about? WAS VERY CLEARLY THERE TO HYPE UP THE ACTORS DATING. If you can’t get??? You’re an idiot or a child. If you can’t understand the point of a slow burn which was Betty and Archie being sidelined by a psychotic fandom who bullied the writers into four season of bughead fucking in a bunker and varchie arguing with hiram, you are an idiot. Sweetie. BABES. When the fifties are over and Archie and Betty have fallen in love AGAIN, and they return to a riverdale free of darkness, Toni and Cheryl are together, Veronica and Reggie— and Jughead and Tabitha, what are you going to do? Implode? Delete? Murder a crew member? I don’t know what you will do but holy shit it will be entertaining to see you fall. A fandom who spent 7 years terrorising barchies, cast members and writers, making fake sexual assault allegations for each cast member, being disgustingly racist to Vanessa and ash, and body shaming Lili. Bullying KJ until he very clearly went off of the edge in the pandemic, and for some reason also going after your GOD rat boy. I’m saying this to you and all of you. Yes, barchies and Choni’s have said some awful things, as well as varchies. But nothing can top the entitled brats you are. And I hope when Lilis contract os over, and she reveals Cole was an abuser, she tells you all to go and fuck yourselves.

.........

..........

........

wut????

This manifesto is so very confusing to me. Somehow, you've both been stalking my blog and been paying no attention at the same time.

I'll admit, I didn't read much of this, but a few things

This is now the second time today that someone on the internet accused me of being a teen. I'm flattered, don't get me wrong, but what is it about this? I am a grown ass adult. Is it something I am putting out there?

Oh please, please desperate BA anon, may I have your sympathy back??????

"Ted is right." Oof, anon. Very oof.

I would like you to go on, anon, please point out to me where anyone thought the Serpent Dance was a good decision? And where the seasons 1-4 sex parties and girls with one character trait were?

The BA stuff, I can't....I can't even....what?

What teen choice award do I keep talking about???? I am so confused????

The only thing in this.....jumble of words that offended me was you calling Cole "rat boy" (also did you imply that I love Cole? Have you....read my blog?) because I have rats and excuse you, they're amazing. Look at this leetle boy

Apologize to him this instant!

Look how upset you've made him!

[zayadriancas]

Degrassi, Riverdale & The Summer I Turned Pretty

Thank you!!! 💜💖

Degrassi:

1: Top 5 Episodes:

TNG: Mercy Street, Secret, Standing In The Dark, Live To Tell, & Voices Carry

Seasons 10-14: Zombie, Take A Bow, Boom Boom Pow, Unbelievable, & Purple Pills

Next Class: #Fire, #Obsessed, #KThxBye, #IRegretNothing, & #ImSleep

2: Bottom 5 Episodes:

TNG: Goin Down The Road, Got My Mind Set On You, The Power Of Love, Uptown Girl, & Keep On Loving You

Seasons 10-14: Spiderwebs, Honey, Summertime, Black or White, & Closer To Free

Next Class: #ThisCouldBeUsButYouPlayin, #ToMyFutureSelf, #CheckYourPrivilege, #SorryNotSorry, & #SquadGoals

3: Top 5 Characters

Male: Spinner, Drew, Zig, JT, & Jay

Female: Maya, Bianca, Darcy, Fiona, & Ellie

4: Bottom 5 Characters: (Only Counting Main Characters)

TNG: Peter Stone, Derek Haig, Declan Coyne, Leia Chang, & Blue Chessex

Seasons 10-14: Declan Coyne, Katie Matlin, Owen Milligan, Winnie Oh, & Winston Chu

5: Top 5 Romantic Ships:

Zaya, Drianca, Sparcy, Fimogen, & Semma

6: Bottom 5 Romantic Ships

TNG: Rick/Terri, Matt/Paige, Mick/Manny, Pia, & Ellie/Jesse

Seasons 10-14: Krew, Matlingsworth, Sav/Ms. Oh, Alli/Leo, & Fiona/Bobby

Next Class: Yunter, Hollingsong, Zig/Esme, Fronah, & Zoe/Winston

7: Top 5 Platonic Ships:

TNG: Ellie/Marco, Manny/Darcy, JT/Toby, Craig/Marco, Paige/Marco, & Spinner/Jay

Seasons 10-14: Fiona/Holly J, Drew/Dallas, Zig/Tiny, Maya/Grace, & Jake/Mo

Next Class: Maya/Grace, Zig/Tiny, Lola/Frankie, Frankie/Shay, & Lola/Yael

8: Bottom 5 Platonic Ships:

Derek/Danny, Yael/Baaz/Vijay/Hunter, Miles/Winston, Eli/Adam, & Jake/Eli

9: Season Ranking?

Season 4, Season 7, NC season 3, NC season 4, Season 12, Season 3, Season 10, Season 11, Season 2, Season 5, NC season 1, NC season 2, Season 8, Season 6, Season 14, Season 13, Season 9, Season 1

10: Character you relate to most? Maya, Esme, Fiona, Ellie, & Cam

11: Character that inspires you? Maya

12: Character you can’t understand? Peter, Hunter, Jonah, Vijay, Baaz, Winston, Next Class Seasons 1-2 Grace

13: Best Written Character? Spinner, Manny, Fiona, Holly J, & Maya

14: Worst Written Character? Peter, Declan, Katie, Seasons 13-14 Eli, NC Seasons 1&2 Grace, Jonah

15: Most Cliched Character? Declan

16: Most Unusual Character? IDK

17: Most inspired storyline? The shooting arc

18: Favorite Hero? Maya

19: Favorite villain? Vince

20: Best Person? JT & Maya

21: Most influential character? IDK

22: Most manipulative character? Esme

23: Best Performance in an episode? Ephraim Ellis in Time Stands Still, Demetrius Joyette in Bittersweet Symphony Part 2, Luke Bilyk in Young Forever, Olivia Scriven in #ImSleep, & Chelsea Clark in #Obsessed

24: Most Visually Stunning Episode: Paradise City, Degrassi Takes Manhattan, Don’t Look Back, & #Fire

25: Most impressive special effects? Idk

26: Character with the best aesthetics? Ellie, Fiona, Imogen, Maya, & Lola

27: Favorite song? Mr. Nice Guy, What I Know(Dust), Rescue You, The Great Escape, Maybe Love, Yes, & Last Exit

28: Best writer? Idk

29: Favorite theme: Seasons 3-5, Season 9-10, & Season 12

30: 5 words you associate with it? Addicting, compelling, relatable, intriguing, & emotional

Riverdale:

1: Top 5 episodes:

The Sweet Hereafter, The Lost Weekend, Return Of The Pussycats, Quiz Show, & Labor Day

2: Bottom 5 episodes: Wicked Little Town, Welcome to Rivervale, Tales of A Jugular Vein, Peep Show, & Dirty Dancing (honestly I felt like just saying the majority of season 7 lmao)

3: Top 5 characters: Cheryl, Veronica, Toni, Jughead, & Tabitha

4: Bottom 5 characters: Alice, Uncle Frank, Nick St. Clair, Percival Pickens, & Evelyn Evernever

5: Top 5 romantic ships:

Bughead, Varchie, Choni, Season 7 Beronica, & Archosie

6: Bottom 5 romantic ships:

B*rchie, F*lice, Hiram/Hermione, Kevin/Fangs, & Veronica/Chad

7: Top 5 platonic ships:

Cheronica, Toni/Veronica, Toni/Tabitha, Betty/Tabitha, & Seasons 1-6 Beronica (I ship all of these too though lol)

8: Bottom 5 platonic ships:

Alice/Betty, Kevin/Betty, Fangs/Sweet Pea, I came think of anymore honestly

9: Season Ranking

1, 4(before 4x17), 3, 2, 5, 6, 7

10: Character you relate to most? Betty

11: Character who inspires you? None of them

12: Character you can’t understand? Most of the parents tbh

13: Best written character: Honestly none of them after season 1

14: Worst written character? Most of them especially from season 5 onward

15: Most cliched character? Idk

16: Most unusual character? Percival

17: Most inspired storyline? Jason’s murder mystery

18: Favoriye hero? Veronica

19: Favorite villain? Hiram

20: Best person: Veronica

21: Most influential character: Idk

22: Most manipulative character: Hiram

23: Best performance in an episode: I’m not sure

24: Most visually stunning episode. Labor Day

25: Most impressive special effects: Idk

26: Character with the best aesthetics? Veronica & Cheryl

27: Favorite song? Kids in America & Mad World

28: Best writer? Someone from season 1

29: Favorite theme? N/A

30: 5 words you associate with? Ridiculous, entertaining, embarrassing, trainwreck, trash

The Summer I Turned Pretty:

1: Top 5 episodes:

Love Fool, Love Fest, Love Game, Love Affair, & Love Triangle

2: Bottom 5 episodes: Summer Dress, Summer Nights, Summer House, Summer Catch, & Love Scene

3: Top 5 characters: Conrad, Belly, Taylor, Steven, & Susannah

4: Bottom 5 characters: Skye, Aunt Julia, Milo, & Adam Fisher (I know that’s 4 but there are no other characters I dislike on this show)

5: Top 5 romantic ships: The only 2 I like are Belly/Conrad and Steven/Taylor

6: Bottom 5 romantic ships? Taylor/Milo, Conrad/Nicole, Skye/Cam, Belly/Cam, & Laurel/Cleveland

7: Top 5 platonic ships: Belly/Taylor, Steven/Conrad, Laurel/Susannah, Belly/Jeremiah(I know they’re also romantic, I just prefer them as friends), & Conrad/Cleveland

8: Bottom 5 platonic ships: N/A

9: Season ranking: 2, 1

10: Character you relate to most? Conrad solely for the anxiety/panic attack storyline

11: Character who inspires you? None of them

12: Character you can’t understand? None of them

13: Best written character: Belly & Conrad

14: Worst written character? None of them

15: Most cliched character? None of them

16: Most unusual character? N/A

17: Most inspired storyline? N/A

18: Favorite hero? N/A

19: Favorite villain? N/A

20: Best person: Susannah

21: Most influential character: N/A

22: Most manipulative character: N/A

23: Best performance in an episode: Lola Tung in any episode Belly has an emotional moment, she’s great at making your heart break for her

24: Most visually stunning episode: Most of them are

25: Most impressive special effects: N/A

26: Character with the best aesthetics? N/A

27: Favorite song? This show plays Taylor Swift in so many episodes lol so any time one of her songs is used

28: Best writer? Idk

29: favorite theme? N/A

30: 5 words you associate with? Addicting, compelling, fun, summer, & entertaining

[maya-matlin]

because you reblogged that post <3 what are your favorite zaya scenes?? your favorite bughead scenes?? your 5 favorite tv shows you can watch over and over again?? (ps sorry if this is too many questions lmao) ILY 💗💗

Aw, you're so sweet! You didn't send too many questions at all. Thank you 💚💚

Favorite Zaya scenes (these are always impossible to narrow down so I won't do it in any order)

1.) Zig promising to wait for Maya to be ready to date him

2.) The tent scene

3.) Maya kissing Zig in season 14

4.) Having sex for the second time

5.) Dancing together at prom/almost kissing

6.) Saying I love you for the first time

7.) Zig trying to cheer Maya up

8.) Zig comforting Maya after Miles yells at her

9.) Zaya saying they were happy they were each other's firsts

10.) Arguably their most controversial moment, but the chemistry is intense

11.) The graduation party

12.) Celebrating Maya's gig

Favorite Bughead scenes (also in no order; I miss my annoying, fun couple so much):

1.) Singing Seventeen

2.) Betty showing Jughead her scars

3.) Vowing to be partners

4.) Honestly, just the entirety of the storm episode where they're trapped together at Stonewall Prep

5.) Jughead reassuring Betty that she's a good person, just like him, even though she has darkness inside her

5 favorite shows I can watch over and over:

1.) Degrassi (any incarnation, but especially TNG)

2.) Boy Meets World

3.) Dawson's Creek

4.) Friends

5.) One Tree Hill

[bugheadchemistry]

Did you see the new trailer. BA dancing at Pops and Betty undresing ans wearing sexy underwear for Archie and his smile when he see her. They are so in love. 702 will be so good with their endgame confirmed officially

Oh, you’re back! Did you see my post about you last night? Gotta say, I didn’t think it would take a b/a trolling me to reignite my love for Bughead but here we are! My next BH gif set will be dedicated to you, sweet cheeks. 😘

[darkshrimpemotions]

Speak Now TV Fandom Associations

I would not survive if I tried to talk about my real life associationd with every song on Speak Now (Taylor's Version), but I thought it'd be fun to get a little tag game going with fandom associations. So! Here are my fandom associations for each song. And at the end I'll tag some folks to do this too (only if you feel like it, no pressure!).

Mine - Brittana 🥺

Sparks Fly - Destiel, 100%. Their meeting, obviously, but every time they show up for each other.

Back to December - I have no justification for this but it's Bella about Jacob, especially when she's a thousand years into her horrorfail marriage with the dusty glitterbag watching Jacob follow her daughter around and knowing he didn't want this.

Speak Now - April and Jackson from Grey's 🫣

Dear John - Dean about John, maybe also Mary when she finds out what John became (she was 19 when they met 😭)

Mean - This is Kurt Hummel's song to all his bullies for me

The Story of Us - Silverhardt 💔

Never Grow Up - Dean 🥺

Enchanted - Klaus about Caroline

Better Than Revenge - Katherine Petrova. I'm not saying she's right, I'm just saying this is how she sees Elena and Stefan

Innocent - Dean again 🥺 (seriously half this album is on my Dean playlist, you know that man is a Speak Now girlie)

Haunted - I want this to be about anything else, but it's that fucking sex scene from True Blood

Last Kiss - Bughead's breakup

Long Live - Quentin, Eliot, Margo, Alice, Josh, Fen, and Julia. With heavy emphasis on the Queliot vibes.

Ours - Bughead during the good times, especially season 2 🥹

Superman - Juliette Silverton watching Nick drift farther and farther from her as he becomes more focused on being a Grimm (especially in season 1 when he's lying to her about it)

Electric Touch - Ethan Waite and Lena Duchannes (rhymes with rain)

When Emma Falls In Love - IT'S EMMA SWAN 😭 and all the bad boys who tried to be good for her

I Can See You - Haylijah but also somehow Klaroline?

Castles Crumbling - Dany when everyone began turning on her in season 8, but also Rhaenyra as she becomes more angry and paranoid throughout the Dance

Foolish One - Caroline with Matt, Tyler, and Stefan

Timeless - Malex and their incredible love story that transcends time and space

@thehomohomosapiensapien @pixiedustandbluebutterflies @darcyfangirlsfrequently @moonlightspectre @pinknatural @spookybibi

(I wanted to tag 13 people but failed)

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From A Changeable Chap, Archie's Pals 'n' Gals #34 (1965).

[daphnefangirling]

I did it!!! I finished the fic I promised to finish before 2023!

You can read the second chapter here. Or from the beginning:

And please enjoy the art that inspired 'Save the Last Dance For Me' of the drawing of the same name by Pictureplayer on Instagram.

[userlaylivia]

okay so I'm rewatching riverdale and I'm on 2x09 and something I saw a lot back during that time was how jughead brought out this darkness in betty and made her be a part of the serpent's and um no??? there was darkness already in betty, jughead isn't the reason it was there and he broke up with her to protect her from the serpent world because he didn't want her to get hurt!! she chose to do that dance for him, she wanted to be in that world he didn't force her!! just like veronica tried to protect archie from her family's world but archie made the choice to be in it not her! bughead and varchie got back together because they loved each other, they didn't break up due to lack of love ugh jughead didn't encourage betty to be dark and bringing that out in her just Veronica didn't bring out Archie's dark side! I ship barchie too but this argument annoyed me back when s2-3 aired like don't ship them fine but at least watch the show because they didn't bring out the worst of each other that's just bias!! pls don't send me hate or anything I'm rewatching and I'm remembering what I saw back then and I ship all three but it just really annoys me!!

[backtothestart02]

Trapped in the 1950s - 1/1(?) | bughead fanfiction

A/N: Idk if I should continue this or not. Give it a read, bughead shippers, and let me know! I haven't seen any of s6, but I know about the finale roughly, so I thought I'd give what comes next a bughead spin. Enjoy?

...

He was lucky, he realized, that this new reality came complete with a wardrobe to suit it. He was also lucky that he lived in a house with a mother and father who were not at each other’s throats and neither of which had an alcohol addiction. Even his little sister seemed perfectly normal.

Thankfully, at breakfast, where he was sixteen again, none of his family members seemed to notice how he seemed just a little bit too silent, looking at them just a little too strangely, and how he had barely taken a dip into his meal before getting up, setting a…crown upon his head? And heading to school.

The first thing he noticed when arriving at school was a flirtatious Betty Cooper in front of a bashful-looking Archie.

Some things never change.

That fact couldn’t have been any more obvious when a classy car pulled up to the building and out stepped a dressed-to-the-nines Veronica Lodge, who instantly had Archie’s attention.

“Whoa. Who’s that?” Jughead heard him say, making Betty frown.

“I- I don’t know.”

And then the redhead was gone, and Jughead almost had to laugh at the disheartened look on Betty’s face. Hardly a heartbeat later though, he realized he could use this to his advantage.

If anyone could help him figure out how to get out of this decade and back into the one they’d recently been pulled from, it was Betty Cooper.

Taking a deep breath and hoping he didn’t come across as do forward for this particular time in history, he approached her and made his move.

“Hey, Betty!” He lightly pulled on her elbow. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Jughead!” Her eyes lit up – which, okay, surprising. “Yeah, hey. Good to see you!”

She hugged him, her perfume enveloping his senses in the best way.

Damn.

“First day back already. Isn’t it crazy? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

She was all heart eyes, to the point where he wondered if he’d imagined her trying so hard to get Archie to see her in a new light just moments earlier.

“Uh, yeah. Totally.”

He smiled hesitantly.

“Actually, I was wondering if we could get together. Tonight maybe? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about, and I think we need more than a few minutes before the bell rings.”

Her eyes widened, and he swore she went leaned into him a bit.

“Like a date?”

“Uh, well, I…”

Her eyes were filled with hope, and he couldn’t bear to disappoint her. Besides, maybe a way to restore their reality was to follow what had happened, and right around this time was when they had started to date. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. It wasn’t as if he’d be cheating on Tabitha, who he had yet to run into. And Betty wouldn’t be cheating on Archie, because right now they weren’t even an item. Things were already falling into place for Archie and Veronica.

“Sure,” he finished, more confidently than expected.

“It’s a date!” She bounced up onto her tip-toes, beaming wider than he’d seen her even with Archie. “Pops then?”

He hesitated. He’d rather somewhere quieter where they could be alone.

“Actually, maybe the Blue and Gold? I could bring dinner from Pops though.”

“Oh. Odd place for a date.” She paused. “Are you thinking of joining the newspaper?” Her eyes lit up with hopeful curiosity. “There’s always a spot for a new member, and I seem to remember you enjoying writing as a pastime.”

That definitely had been a prelude to them dating.

“I was thinking about it, yeah.”

“Great!” She clasped her hands together. “Then sure, we can have dinner there. You must have a big story you want to share with me then, yeah?”

You have no idea.

“I may have something.”

He smiled hesitantly, hardly a fraction of the sunny smile on her face.

“Maybe afterward we could go dancing?” she suggested.

He paled.

“Dancing?” he asked, regrettably out loud.

“To finish off the night more like a traditional date,” she suggested. “Unless you’d rather not?”

His smile was tremulous, but he wasn’t about to back out now.

“Dancing it is.”

She seemed nervous all of a sudden, but he was sure it was just part of her excitement that he’d stirred up. She took a step towards him and pressed her pretty pink lips to his cheek.

“I can’t wait.”

She looked up longingly into his eyes, then snapped out of it as soon as the bell rang moments later.

“Oh! Better go! See you later, Jughead.”

He half-waved, forcing a smile until she’d stopped looking at him over her shoulder.

“A date with Betty Cooper,” he mumbled to himself.

History really was repeating itself. Now all he had to do was convince Betty to help him restore the timeline before he forgot they were from another time himself.

Then they could continue with their lives with who they were meant to be with.

The pressure of Betty’s lips on his cheek fluttered through his mind again, and he thought he felt something stirring in his chest.

Right?

[dxscxndxnts]

Okay but is anyone else wondering why they made a baby sister for Ursula (that’s not Morgana like come on disney canon) and not just have Ursula herself?

I have my theories:

They don’t want more heat on Uma. The primary past conflict seems to be between Cinderella and the Queen of Hearts. If Ursula was a key player, Uma would probably have a more vital role in all this, but she’s on the sideline a little more this movie (and that’s fine, it’s incredible China came back at all).

They don’t want people shipping Ursula and Hook cuz Huma is already so popular/implied and we don’t need a Bughead moment. Say what you want, they were dance partners in Break This Down, in Disney Musical Speak, that means they’re basically together (Jay and Gil too)

If anyone else wants to share their thoughts, I’m still so curious on all this. Descendants timelines already make no sense and this Merlin Academy just feels like The School for Good and Evil.

WAIT ONE DAMN MINUTE I HAD A THOUGHT……..

Ok I’ve calmed down but what ifffff uliana and hook were like the reason Harry and Uma got together I haven’t developed like a backstory to this idea but pls be my guest to make one