If I had the power to become a Disney bitch that can just remake one of their classics because that's what Disney does these days, id remake Aladdin.
It'd still be animated and the goal would be a consistent style trilogy (without the sudden and sharp drop in animation quality preferably please god).
Completely scrapping the 'return of Jafar' plot line, I'd make the second movie in the trilogy about exploring the ramifications of aladdin's wish. He did not wish to *look* like a prince, he wished to BE a prince. Somewhere out there aladdin is the prince of some country or city or something and I would love to explore that as a technicality to aladdin and jasmine trying to get married. Especially if perhaps that kingdom is NOT on good terms with agrabah. They're trying to get all the arrangements done and theres a big joke about paperwork and getting the prince-requirment law squared away and then bam, the "well actually-" comes from genie and the rest of the movie is about exploring this new territory of aladdin. Who is marrying into Royalty and Politics, actually having to deal with some of that.
And then at the end of the movie, when all of that is sorted out, genie drops the second "well actually-" that aladdin was always sort of a prince anyway. Just not the inherited of any kind of land. You see, al, buddy, your dad's a king of thieves.
Movie three is that the wedding is once, again, delayed. Because now we have to deal with the fuckin ramifications of "what the fuck do you mean I'm the son of a famous criminal?" And the revelation that genie actually knows aladdin's parents. Movie three includes returning to the Magic Treasure Hoard where aladdin initially gets the lamp- "only One May Enter Here" being that aladdins father (deceased) left the cave as a sort of will of his treasure trove, a bounty worthy of a King Of Thieves. Including the most valuable artifact of the trove, the Genie In The Lamp, the most valuable treasure that was responsible for aladdin's fathers success as the king of thieves in the first place. We see some stories of Genie and Aladdins father- from rags to riches via crime, maybe the love story of aladdin's parents, (maybe some hints to why genie says "i dont like doing it" as to being able to bring back the dead rather than outright "i cant do it") and plausibly that the genie and aladdins father made the same deal, I'll use my two wishes and then free you, but (possibly following that failed attempt to bring back the dead as in trying to bring back aladdin's dead mother shortly after aladdin is born?) In the grief of that failure aladdin's father decides to use his last wish (possibly to arrange the Cave of Wonders for his sons inheritance or something) and ultimately betrays genies trust.
We get a little heart to heart with aladdin and genie- "I don't think your dad was a bad guy, per se, but-" and the classic Disney "what matters is that you kept your promise, and that's why I've stuck with you even after freedom, it's the magic of friendship"
and then once we work out reparations of the cave of wonders - using all of that stolen fortune inheritance to better aladdin's accidentally aquisitioned kingdom, and provide agrabah a stable fucking childcare system for orphans, and a whole other musical mintage of do-gooding, they FINALLY get their royal wedding- a unity wedding between these two lands and isn't it glamorous.
ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE.
The whole big damb deal where Aladdin and Jasmines partnership is weighted against the genies freedom is so stupid when you consider. Aladdin could have just fucking handed the lamp to Jasmine? 3 more wishes. They solve the whole thing in movie one. Jasmine gets the lamp, makes a wish that Jafar will never escape the cave of wonders, wishes that there were bo laws restricting her personal freedoms any more than anyone else (marry who she wants AND go to the market) and then a third wish that argrbah under her rule will know ages of peace and tranquility. Then she hands that damb lamp back to Aladdin, Aladdin wishes the genie free, big happy celebration fireworks scene. (They do the heart to heart thing where they say they'll miss eachother after genie cuts himself off from talking about seeing the world. Obviously. That still needs to happen. They're friends, you honor.)
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So, the YuYu Hakusho live adaptation
Well.
We got a real good anime adaptation, which is rare enough
And they did a good job with the costumes, aesthetics, and they did hit a lot of the fight scenes as close to the original as they could
They just… very obviously understood absolutely none of the actual messaging or what made those scenes impactful
Spoilers below for the original anime/manga and the live action
I understand they only had 5 episodes to get through the first season but I just finished episode 3 and I literally do not understand how they plan to get from here to the Dark Tournament
Genkai was introduced, trained Yusuke for 20 fucking days, trained Kuwabara as well and blatantly favoured him for 19 of those days including telling Botan to tell Koenma Yusuke’s a write off
(Do not fucking ask about Koenma he’s a cool teenager with a pacifier the entire time it is literally not even commented on)
Then oh Yusuke does his finger handstand for one entire night, pops off a spirit gun that Toguro notices
(Elder Toguro promptly shits himself in glee)
Genkai can magically tell they’ve noticed, nearly cries, and hands over the fucking spirit orb. Immediately. It just pops straight in, no big deal, no question, Yusuke wanders off for ramen and Toguro kills her
Not one Genkai fight scene. A lil moment of her fucking around and throwing walnuts at Yusuke, but not even breaking a sweat
Tarukane and Yukina were introduced right off the bat and Hiei’s stolen spirit treasure is a piddly little knife he used to make a teeny weeny cut and give himself a jagan eye so he can look for her, no evil machinations or transformation for this bitch
Yusuke and Hiei don’t even fight before Kurama calls them both bitches and they’ve already picked up Kuwabara to get on the boat for The Fucking Tournament Island which is apparently just Sakyo’s house
Oh yeah, because Sakyo told Tarukane episode ONE that he’s digging a hole to the demon world, sold him Yukina (so who should Hiei really be stabbing?), and has now invited Tarukane back to his place to be protected by Sakyo’s demons, the Toguros
The Black Black Club are fucking all there. In person. Just chilling. At Sakyo’s house on the tournament island and the Demon Triad are there but none of the tournament folks are but they’re on Sakyo’s boat? Minus Genkai? Who died about 30 minutes tops after her first appearance?
Oh, and we saw the demon triad and Toguro popping a giant beastie and Hiei running around with his knife and then immediately after the cut Yusuke just fucked off to Genkai’s to be instantly accepted as her pupil for a 20+ day training montage so who knows what the fuck Hiei and Tarukane were up to in the meantime, Tarukane fully left the mainland and apparently Hiei spent 3 weeks sitting on his thumb about it
I just. The saddest part is that I really, truly think the people making the adaptation thought they were being faithful to the original
The characters look so good, the costumes are incredible, the special effects are fucking fantastic
But every single moment of build up, of dramatic tension, of getting to know the characters and seeing them care about something is gone
Yusuke’s dramatic revelation that it’s time to get serious with his training isn’t Toguro levelling a parking block; it’s watching Kuwabara hit a rock with a wooden sword until his spirit sword happens
His whole motivation to get stronger is “well I can’t let Kuwabara beat me”, which even Genkai calls piss weak one day and then the next it’s fine, he’s ready to finish his training
(One thing I do like is the characters themselves occasionally dropping a “well what the fuck did that mean” about particularly egregious logic leaps, like Elder Toguro shapeshifting to impersonate Hiei and kidnap Keiko
Like
Do they not understand Hiei was a fan favourite just for being an evil little shithead in his first appearances who didn’t care about anybody except maybe Kurama?
Instead we have pre-reformed Hiei who only wants to save his sister uwu won’t even take a stab at properly fighting Yusuke before they’ve teamed up
Just let Hiei be a little shit
Just let him have a stupid grandiose plan that even je can later admit made no fucking sense
Let Yusuke shoot him in the ass and show some ingenuity under pressure)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m finishing out the season just to see where the fuck they’re going, but I thought I had a general idea for the first two episodes and now I just. I don’t know.
I think they’re gonna pansy out of giving me Jin
They’re not gonna do my goddamn flying demon uni-leprechaun
However if they do punch Sakyo and toss him into a pit at the end of this season I will not be mad, he’s gonna be Right There in punching range apparently because they’re not going to a tournament, they’re going to HIS FUCKING HOUSE
Oh and no Shizuru
No badass moments for Keiko (well I guess she did slap the face off Elder Toguro once that was great)
No Atsuko past the first episode
Botan is basically a semi-sadistic cheerleader
Genkai is dead
Because it’s not like anyone liked this show for actually having interesting and semi-independent female characters
Honestly I even had a couple moments of “maybe I’d like this better if they did a worse job”, because it’s so clearly made by people who really cared about the show, and worked to fit as much as they could into five episodes (fuck you Netflix)
But what they cared about was fight scenes
Not any of what actually made YYH interesting and compelling; no character growth, no relationships between rivals, between enemies to allies, between teacher and student
Not 30 seconds on the relationship between Toguro and Genkai, for all they lifted lines directly from the anime
He walks in and pops her, no big deal
Not even on screen
Puu does not exist
For a character who starts the show by fuckin dying, Yusuke really has not been pushed to his limits since
And to be fair, the things the show does well, it’s fucking nailing
Toguro’s muscle transformation? PERFECT. Understated, clear potential to become fucking ridiculous around 80%, classy as hell
Kurama’s rose whip? Incredible, 10/10, so fucking glad we’ve seen so much of it, super well done
Spirit gun and spirit sword? Fabulous, gorgeous, I am in love, only thing that would make it better would be shooting that asshole teacher in the head (not that Yusuke has been to school since the day he died except to sit on the roof)
It’s just… the edgelord version of the story. As truncated as possible, just event event event, without any patience or respect for character relationships or growth or that, y’know, you need to give your audience a reason to care
The good news is, at this point it’s pretty much no reason for them to do the fourth season just in general which would make Yoshihiro Tagashi very happy
Just in general, it’s… fine. It’s a little short action show with great special effects and some fantastic costuming and aesthetic
There’s something that sorta almost resembles a story
And as far as live adaptations go? We definitely for sure know it could be worse, especially with Netflix *stares in Death Note*
I just won’t be all that disappointed if they don’t get the second season they really really really needed
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