#buckle up bitch it's going to be a bumpy ride

[the-lady-writes-what]

Can't believe that I just saw a YouTube short of somebody complaining about Free Palestine protestors blocking an airport road and then saying the cops should put them ( the protestors) into an insane asylum while bemoaning that these people weren't actually using their freedom of speech. Like, yeah, dude, everyone knows that if you're not using your first amendment right to advocate for the genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians, you're not actually using freedom of speech and should be put in jail or receive a lobotomy in an asylum (sarcasm, obv)

I should believe that happened because Israel is really good at PR, but I don't know how the YT algorithm thought Zionist propaganda and anti freedom of speech videos were up my alley? I thought our phones and Google were always listening to us?

[joelslegalwhre]

Paddock Pass pt.3

One of max‘s love languages (at least in this fic) is physical touch, don‘t try to convince me otherwise. (I didn’t include the country/name of the gp by purpose, please don’t be confused haha) Sooo are you ready for some angst, some drama and a good time? Buckle up friends, it‘s gonna be a bumpy ride.

(You ever get distracted by Pedro Pascal tiktoks and spent an hour on your phone?…I‘m asking for a friend)

Thank you so much for the love on the first two parts! I‘m beyond grateful for every comment, reblog and like🩶

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader, dad!toto wolff x reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: angst, fluff, toto being a bitch (or is he just a protective dad?), bad dad-daughter dynamics, unapproved relationship, cursing, insults, mutual pining turning into more, max has fallen head over heels, they act like an old married couple and don‘t even notice, kissing, light make out session at the end, not proofread

summary: After a horrible qualifying, Max manages to win the race. When he sees you afterwards, and looses all of his elf control. Which Toto doesn‘t welcome one bit. Oh what a simple kiss can do. But was it just that, a simple kiss?

Masterlist || taglist || part one || part two || part three

"Sorry but this is P15 Max, P15." his race engineer spoke through the radio, "Yeah, of course it is." Max answered annoyed. What should it have been? P1? Surely not, after his engine had started misfunctioning and in the end stopped working all together. He had the best lap time of them all, but with ten minutes left of q2, someone else would eventually drive faster than him. 

As he got out of the car, you could practically feel the bad mood he was in. Everyone who knew Max, could. And if it was you who just got out of your car, not being able to finish the qualifying that was looking so promising, you would've wanted to punch something. 

It was surprising you, how 'calm' he stayed. Max had temper, and you liked that, but sometimes it got a little out of hand - him kicking the car or not talking to anyone for hours -. Not this time, though. 

When he came back to the garage, his car still parked on the gravel, he took off his helmet, and walked straight to you. "You coming with me?" he asked, helmet in one hand, running the other through his slightly damp hair. "Yeah, of course." you nodded and got up from your seat. 

You followed him out of the garage, trying to keep up with his fast steps. He was practically running to the Red Bull facility. 

Max noticed your attempt to catch up to him, and slowed down, waiting for you. "Sorry." he said and continued walking, his steps still quick, but manageable. 

As Max and you were walking to the Red Bull facility, all eyes were glued on the two of you. Everyone eager to get a shot of Max.

You felt Max's fingers brush against your own, intertwining them with yours. It was his way of trying to stay calm, the warmth of your hand soothing him and helping him, not to do something he'd regret later. 

You felt your cheeks getting warm at the gesture. You loved when he did that. It was an indication of the trust that he had in you, like a security blanket. 

"Max?" you asked him, your voice quiet but still loud enough for him to hear you. "Hm?" You looked at him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "You'll win the race tomorrow, it doesn't matter where you start," you gave him a lopsided smile, "You always win." 

His want to kiss you almost got the better of him. All me managed to do instead was to brush his thumb over yours, holding your hand just a little tighter than before. 

"And that's the last corner before the straight!" the commentator almost screamed into the mic, "I can't believe he did that," he continued excitedly, "That's it! Max Verstappen wins the Grand Prix, starting from P15!" 

You shot up from your seat, throwing your hands in the air. "Yes! There you go!" you shouted as if he could hear you, the excitement overwhelming. The garage was going insane, everyone hugging each other, cheering. You were right in the middle of it all, and it felt like a fever dream. You told him he'd win, but it was a lot of hard work to actually cross the finish line as first. 

You let out a deep breath, smiling at the TV as you saw Max driving back to parc fermé. All the mechanics and the rest of the team got up to gather there. "C'mon!" one of the mechanics nudged your shoulder, smiling at you. You mirrored his expression, following them outside. 

Max was still wearing his helmet when he ran towards your group and jumped into the crowd of mechanics that were shouting, whistling and cheering. When he was back on the ground, he shook hands with Christian, and some others, before he noticed you.

You still had a smile plastered on your face, that said "I told you." and even though he had his helmet covering most of his face, you knew he was also beaming.

Max slung his arms around your frame, lifting your feet from the floor, as he pressed you against his suited chest. Your arms found their place around his neck, and you hugged him as close as you could, with the helmet between you. 

When you let go of each other, you grasped his arms, something you did when you were excited or nervous, he had noticed. "You did it!" you squeaked and slightly jumped up and down with his arms still firmly in your grip. "You. Did. It." your voice was so full of joy and excitement, but above all you were so immensely proud of him. 

"You told me to," he said with a grin in his voice, as he freed his arms from your grip just to hold them in his again, "I couldn't disappoint my best girl." 

Just as he pulled you into another quick hug, you hoped that he couldn't feel your heart beating faster than his car passed the finish line. 

„"You better not." you joked.

You watched him going back to weight himself with his gear, taking his helmet off and running a hand through his hair, as he did so often. But after he did that, and put his helmet to the side, turning around. "Sorry," he said to the lady trying to talk to him, miles away. "I forgot something…"

Max almost ran back to the fence, where all of you were standing. You gave him a confused look, silently asking him what he was doing. 

The moment he reached you, still standing at your spot in the front, it turned into a curious one. Every part of your body was shaking, not knowing what to expect. 

„Is everything al-„ 

Max shut you up the second his hands cupped your face and his lips crashed down on yours. 

The kiss wasn't soft, and it wasn't harsh either, but full of desperation and longing. Full of all the emotions both of you had suppressed over the last months. It was perfect. 

Feeling his lips touch yours was a feeling like no other, you felt safe, protected and loved. You felt so much love through it, and if his hands wouldn't still cup your face, holding you up, your knees might've just given in.

As you parted, Max leaned his forehead against yours. "More than alright, actually." he whispered. 

Max didn't want to leave you there, he wanted to take your hand and go somewhere more private. Somewhere he could finally tell you just how much he loved you, how badly he needed you. 

"And now our winner, Max Verstappen!" He took a deep breath before he got onto the podium, waving to the crowd. He heard people cheering and whistling, and when he looked down to where you were standing, he couldn't contain his smile. You were holding your hands on both sides of your mouth, cheering him on with a loud "Whooow!"

You saw him looking at you and shot him a big smile, holding both thumbs up. 

Max chuckled as he took his place in the middle. When the anthems were playing, all he could do was stare at you. 

But soon all the bliss was gone, when Max was back in the garage with the trophy sitting on one of the tables, both of you seemed to remember that you were in fact not alone when you had kissed. 

Max had his arms wrapped around your waist, while you drew shapes on his arm. "Are you angry?" he sounded concerned.

"No!" Your answer came out quicker than you could think, and Max immediately let out a relieved breath. "Max," you almost whispered, "I‘d do it again, if that's what you mean." You were afraid to look into his eyes, so you kept your gaze fixed on his arms, "I don't care who has seen it, if my Dad did. I mean he probably did, and," Max interrupted your rambling by placing his fingers under your chin, making you look at him, "Babe," there it was again, the one small word. But this time you noticed it.

"Look at me." he continued. Max's voice was soft and quiet as he caressed your chin. "Don't worry about him, okay? We're in this together, and we'll manage it just fine." 

You knew he was just as worried as you were, but the way he tried to calm you made you love him even more. Love. You loved him. Max Verstappen. The boy who you never thought of saying so much as a "hello" to, accepting to just live with the crush you had on him. 

Your hands found his neck, and you slowly pulled him towards you, "Okay." was all you whispered before connecting your lips a second time. This kiss was shorter, a peck on the lips almost, but it was just as perfect as the first one was. 

"You ready to go?" he asked against your lips. "Mhm."  you answered, but your voice didn‘t have the same tone to it. 

The moment you intertwined your hands with Max's, you could hear your name being called, or more precisely, shouted.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. "Here we go." 

Max gave your hand an encouraging squeeze.

"We got this." he kissed your hair and you both started walking towards the happening. 

Your Dad wasn't allowed to step foot into the Red Bull garage as someone from Mercedes, and there were already several securities keeping him from doing so.

Which didn't stop him from talking. 

"Du kommst jetzt mit." he told you to follow him. You knew his emotions were all over the place, when he started talking in his mother tongue. You could understand it most of the time, he raised you after all, but you rarely answered him in german. Since Max knew a good amount of german, he understood what he was saying. 

You didn't want to draw too much attention to the situation - clearly impossible - or start a fight right in front of them all, so you just dragged Max along with you as you followed Toto.

He seemed to know where he wanted to go, he was practically running. You just looked back at Max, giving him a look of "what the heck is this going to be". 

Max cared about you, more than you knew, more than he should be able to after just so little time. And if Toto just said so much as a wrong word or raised his voice, he could not hold back. The thought about what could follow for his work, long forgotten.

Toto stopped in his tracks so suddenly, that you almost ran into him.

"Are you done running now?" you asked him, already annoyed with how he was behaving.

"Oh I am, but trust me I'm not done with you, Fräulein."

You hated the word. He only ever used it when you were in trouble, and whenever someone called you it, you felt small. 

"Don't cal me that." you said coldly, "You know how much I hate it." 

"You know what I hate?" his voice sharp as he spoke, „When my daughter whores around with the opposite team. Like some Boxenluder?" 

Did he really just call you a pit babe? You could just scoff at him. It hurt that he seemed to think of you that way. 

„So that's what you think this is, Dad? Whoring around? Are you serious?" your voice didn't come out as strong as you wanted it to. 

"I took your pass and five minutes later you're hanging around his neck?" He almost spit the word 'him' out, as if it made him sick. "I really thought I raised you better than this, walking through the paddock sucking dick." 

Every word you wanted to say before that, got stuck in your throat at his words. What did he just say? 

"Dad, do you even hear yourself?" you whispered in disbelieve, and hurt. 

"Don't you dare talk to her like that." Max was on his last nerve now, and you could feel it. His whole body was under tension, and his hand was twitching towards yours. 

„Oh so you're going to tell me how I should do things now? Who do you think you are?" Toto mocked him. 

"Oh, I will if you don't stop acting the way you do." Max started, "Treating your own daughter like shit, just because she's not your clone," he let out a bitter laugh, "That's the lowest of the low." 

"Max," you whispered, looking up at him, taking his hand. But he couldn't let this go on. 

„If you don't like me, that's okay. It doesn't matter. But I swear to you, if you don't stop with this bullshit, treating her like she committed high treason, I'll find a way to get you kicked out of here." His voice was bitter, and you knew he meant every word.

"And trust me, I will." 

You've never heard him talking so coldly, threatening.

"Oh yeah right. Because the whole fucking paddock is yours," your hand tightened around Max's at the words leaving your Dad's mouth. "Dad." you said firmly. You hadn't raised your voice once since this started - much to Max's astonishment - but Toto didn't seem to care as long as you didn't shout it in his face. He wanted to say something else when you snapped, "Dad, dammit, listen to me for once!"

„I'm sick and tired of you acting the way you do! I can't change who I am, god I've said this so many times, I'm sorry that I'm not the kind of daughter you'd like to have." At this, you could see something in your Dad's facade start to break, but you didn't care anymore. 

"And you know what? I'm not at all sorry for being with Max. Believe it or not, but he has shown me more love in the past month, than I think you ever could." you felt the tears burning in your eyes again, but you could also feel Max's strong hand around yours, soothing you a little. 

"I'm a grown adult, Dad. So I would very much appreciate you coming to terms with the situation. And if you can't, I'm just sorry for you." 

Toto took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, you added, "I don't expect you to suddenly love Max or be okay with whatever your problem is. But if you love me just the slightest bit, just try to, Dad." 

Without anything further, you took Max's hand in yours, gaining a sour stare from Toto. And you couldn't care less. 

You left your Dad standing in the little corner between the motor homes.

"Are you okay?" Max asked with a worried tone. "No." you answered him quietly. 

Of course, you weren't, but Max wanted to make sure how you felt. He began caressing your hand with his thumb, while he was guiding you to the Red Bull motor home. 

He walked straight to his drivers room, knowing it would be quiet and private. "Hey Max, do you have a second?" Helmut waved at him. "Not now okay? Sorry." Max shot him an apologizing smile, but when Helmut's eyes wandered to you, he understood, giving the two of you an encouraging nod. You tried your best to smile at him, before Max led the way up to his drivers room. 

You've been in there several times, but this time, you were happier than ever for this small space of privacy. 

"Come here." Max  patted his lap. He had already sat down on the small couch on the other end of the room. You walked over to him and cuddled up in his lap. He was warm and his smell engulfed you. You took a deep breath. 

"Thank you."

Max looked down to where your head was resting on his shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around you. "For what?" 

"For putting him in his place, for sticking up for me," you nuzzled your face deeper into him, "For being there for me, I guess." 

You could feel Max moving underneath you, and then you felt his lips on your hair. "I'd do it again, as many times as possible. I hope you know that." 

You looked up, still in his embrace. "I do." A small smile crept upon your lips. 

You looked into his eyes, and all you could see in them was honesty and, you dared to think, love. Your hand gently cupped his cheek, and you run your fingers over his stubble.

"Can you please just kiss me now?" you whispered to his lips, as Max could only stare at you. 

He wasted not a second, reuniting his lips with yours. 

The familiar feeling of his lips touching yours, almost made him groan into the kiss. 

He had watched you walk through the paddock for years. The thought that you'd never be wearing one of his team shirts stung with him, but he'd be happy to just talk to you. That's all he ever dreamt of, and now look where he was.

You parted your lips from his, just for a second, to swing your leg over his lap to straddle him. "You have no idea how long I've dreamed about this." Max said, his eyes taking you in while his fingers tucked a stand of hair back behind your ear. "Yeah? Then why are you still talking?" you teased him, but letting him know that you felt exactly the same when he silenced you with his lips. 

Getting to taste you as his tongue moved over the softness of your lips, he could've died happily right then. The sounds of content, mixed with small moans of pleasure filled the room as you deepened the kiss. Max hands had found their way to your waist to pull you even closer. You enjoyed every second of it, the way his tongue felt against yours and the overwhelming feeling of contentedness. 

Panting heavily, you were forced to pull back. Your foreheads still touching, eyes closed.

"I'll always be there for you, I promise." Max whispered against your lips. His hands cupped your waist, drawing little shapes with his thumbs. 

Your own hands were placed in his hair, gently caressing him.

You placed your lips back on his, a silent promise that you would, too, not leave his side.

🩶taglist: @emturtles @xcinnamongirl @starsanova @idkiwantchocolatee @moonlightts2 @topguncultleader @lpab @larastark3107 @sinfully-yoursss @alwaysclassyeagle @formulas-bitch @daddyslittlevillain

here‘s my kofi if you‘d like to leave a tip 🩷

[the-world-wont-listenn]

Marauders head cannons!!!

Lily draws hearts as the dots above her i's

James would say "I'm just being a silly billy!" then stick out his tongue (okay drake)

Marlene's favorite Taylor swift song was getaway car and she'd literally pick up dorcas and run around carrying her bridal style singing it at the top of her lungs

sirius made loads of thirst traps but really shitty ones and Marlene bullied the living shit out of him calling him a dumb bitch and that he looked ugly and that she could see all 5 of his chins from that angle

Remus is Jewish and to show his support James once ran into the dorm with a tiny kipper on his head singing god save the queen thinking 100% that god save the queen was 'the Jewish national anthem'

James had a lisp for a week cause of a prank that went slightly too far and lily took the piss out of it every time that they argued and she would just randomly switch to a lisp and say stuff like "oh does wikkle jamesie not wike dat?" and she'd purposefully make it so she spat on him

sirius watched bluey until peter and mary bullied him out of it

"I'm a big strong man I can win Evans heart over!" "James last night you wore a purple onesie with tiny green dinosaurs on it the only heart your winning over is a child's, fucking pedophile" - Remus and james

James wears the footies onesies and remus bullies the living fuck out of him for it

James and sirius lost at theme park:

"uhm can 'my little Remus moony sugar pie plum' come to lost and found we have a special present waiting for you" "honest to GOD I can't take him ANYWHERE"

‘this anyones kid?’ ‘yes that is actually my boyfriend’ ‘…how old are you two.?’

"wait where's sirius and James?" "LILY ESCAPE WHILE WE STILL CAN"

' lily look how about we go on the ferris wheel instead of finding those two’ ‘you have amazing ideas’

sirius and James would be at the top waving down at them with cotton candy and 2 of those massive arse teddies that cost shit loads to win

sirius would have a wolf one and James would have a unicorn

James was obsessed with pokemon and he bought harry a Pikachu onesie and himself a Squirtle one and lily had an Evie one

Snape watching anime

James and sirius did too but they stopped as soon as they found out that Snape watched It aswell

they definitely did the Naruto run down the corridors while Remus and peter slowly died from embarrassment

"we don't know them wdym I've never heard of a specky lad called James or an unfairly attractive boy that may or may not be my boyfriend before whatttttt"

"Remus, sweetheart, darling, baby, love, hunny, don't try and lie to me I'm not particularly pleased that the other one is MY boyfriend but at least I'm taking responsibility for my own actions"

James is obsessed with prime

Remus is obsessed with orange lucozade and milk chocolate

James makes harry try his prime

‘That dead nice!’ He says while vomiting 😍

"so, what'd ya think pringle?" "mmmm really nice" "JAMES STOP FEEDING OUR CHILD YOUR WEIRD YOUTUBE JUICE"

Pringle - sirius started it and now James calls him it

lily calls him cute things like sweetheart and stuff but James calls him pringle and big hazza

"oi hazza, help your old man with these won't you" "James he's 3" "so? when I was 3 I was building myself a doll house!" *sirius in the background* "AHA FRUITY MOTHER FUCKER"

Remus got tickled alot when he was he so when someone tried to tickle him he’d just do that slow turn around and stare and James tried to imitate him but with his prime and he just looked stupid

James would say let's skaddadle and buckle up buttercup when someone makes him angry

James called lily sugar bunny once and lily broke his finger

and once when he was trying to be sexy he said "buckle up buttercup, it's going to be a bumpy ride" and lily removed James off of her, looked him in the eye and said "I'll be back in five minutes so I can recover and we're going to pretend this never happened."

then lily told sirius and sirius called him buttercup for ages

‘Oi buttercup! Cmre!’ ‘Huh? U mean remus? He isnt here ‘ ‘no you fucking nob’

"hey you wanna" *lip bite and awful attempt at a wink* "you know"

James is afraid of the word sex

if they had the internet james would post ‘Christmas haul 😇’ and Marlene would join in half way through to take the piss and in the end half of Hogwarts was showing off James' shit that he got and at the end Alice and lily held hands, bowed then just walked off

James would watch 1000 pound sisters and dance moms religiously

they did a nativity one year

Remus was the donkey

sirius was the baby jesus

James was pregnant mary and sirius was inside James shirt for half of it until he fell out and fell off the stage

cracked his head open but still went on with it and he was bleeding severely but he was still the best damn baby Jesus out there

and Minnie was the in keeper and Marlene was the inkeepers wife but she went all out for her one line

Marlene's line- "sorry love, no room here, you can stay at the barn if you'd like?" but she made a song to go with it and a choreographed dance team - made up of Severus, Dumbledore and 3 elves from the kitchens

and Alice was Joseph and from then on called sirius her little baby jesus

sirius had the nickname jesus for ages afterwards

Elves had a rap solo each

one time James and sirius were arguing over the best Taylor swift song (james-love story, sirius-anti hero) and then Remus walked in with chocolate and an orange lucozade singing bejeweled and Mary and peter were singing shake it off

peter was literally everywhere. everywhere you looked peter mfing pettigrew was there, most of the time singing shake it off like if you go to the great hall at around 2:30 at night on a Tuesday peter will be on the tables singing shake it off

Sirius can't speak french but is 100% convinced he's great at it.

He finds out he's 1/4 french and walks into the dorm wearing a beret and a baguette in his arms with a fake twirly mustache.

Remus can speak french and uses it for his own benefit.

"es-tu un pervers qui tripote des vers pendant qu'il dort" - are you a pervert that fiddles with wormy while he sleeps

Remus would use reddit religiously

Remus and lily were childhood friends due to both growing up in the same area (tho Remus is Welsh and lily is Scottish) and dancing around to Abba is still their favorite hobby

Remus-welsh

Lily-scottish

James-scouse

Peter-scottish

Sirius-posh british but 1/4 french (assmued that meant he was fully french and 'turned french' for like a week

Regulus- posh british but 1/4 french (actually bothered to learn french to get in touch with his french roots unlike sirius)

Marlene-northern

Alice-northern

Mary-southern

Lana del ray would put James into a coma

Peter used a ketchup bottle as a fake guitar once

James would randomly grab lily's leg while she was say down and use to as a fake guitar (when they were dating ofc)

Remus loved Bowie more than life itself

Karaoke nights in the gryffindor common room

When Remus was pissed off with sirius he would call him tampon rather than pads

Peters favorite horrible histories song was Pachacuti and he had a full choreographed dance for it

James favorite flavour of chocolate was white chocolate because he couldn't handle dark chocolate and milk was 'too basic'

James is the type of guy to say 'me me me me me' when he's snoring

At least once James was angry at snape and was abt to fight him and he said "someone hold me back!" then literally no one did

Sirius would randomly quote the most random stuff when he was stressed, for example, when sirius found out that Reggie got the dark mark he quoted dance moms on 3 occasions

"I had not choice, sirius!" "I cut my finger on my mom's ring, I hope I can still dance!" "Sirius shut the fuck up."

Sirius would play my singing monsters 24/7

If they were a band. Sirius is the singer. James is the guitarist. Remus plays the bass and Peter is the drums but Peter only knows shake it off so marlene stood in for him. Dorcas is the band manager and Mary and Peter watch rehearsal. Lily doesn’t bother with that crap but to support James she plays keyboard sometimes

James wanted to be the singer but sirius said he wanted to be it cause he'd be at "the front and he'd be the eye candy for the girls" Then he’d wink at remus

"the marauders and sirius" “no it’s Sirius and the marauders “ "sirius why do you need to be specifically mentioned" "because I'm special" Then him and James would argue over Sirius’s name being first "ITS SIRIUS AND THE MARAUDERS" "ITS LOVE STORY." "ANTI-HERO."

Go-to insults

Peter: fatty

Sirius: numpty, plonker

James: cheeky spaz, jizz face

Remus: idiot or something really personal

Reactions to someone calling peter fat

Remus: he's not fat he's just plus sized

James: he's not fat he's just big boned

Sirius: he's not fat he's just a big boy (whacks peters belly as he says big boy)

Mary McDonald:

- came from a caribbean single parent immigrant home

- helped raise all her siblings as the eldest daughter so had a complex about never having children

- was estatic about coming to hogwarts each year but constantly feels guilty leaving her mother to do everything on her own

- loved traditionally feminine things & was gryffindor seeker

- came off as brash & egotistical, it was really just a cover for her insecurities

- struggled to come to terms with her asexuality after immense racially targeted sexualisation from her peers

- looked out for people

- lit up a room with her laughter

- very funny

- fashionable

- spoke her mind & for that reason was stereotyped as loud & abrasive

- often felt separated from her culture so tried her best to embrace it & share it with her friends

- was very chill about realising she liked girls

- observant & emotionally intelligent, it made her scarily good at reading ppl & knowing what to say to hurt them when she's mad

- made it a point to not make the same mistake twice

- didn't join the order after remembering dumbledore's actions (or lack thereof) after her attack

- peters bff

Lily Evans:

- was petunia's "weird sister" for most of her childhood because of her quietness & lack of interest for boys & getting married

- craves their big sister's approval

- was anti-social her first year at hogwarts out of guilt for being there when her sister couldnt be

- stopped hiding in petunia's shadow at some point & reinvented herself as the noble head girl most remember her as

- projected an image of being perfect & hid the darker more selfish parts of themselves away as she feared everyone would leave her if they saw

- was not perfect

- often felt pressured by people's expectations of her to do the right thing

- struggled with depression

- always seemed so wise but never truly knew what to do

- considered going back to snape many times as they felt he was the only one they could be their true self around

- fought comphet valiantly

- was NOT overjoyed about having a kid in the middle of the war

- battled the urge to run away & leave everything behind more than once

- died hiding a huge secret part of herself so dumbledore could sell an image of a courageous matyr to the world

Marlene McKinnon:

- was friends with james & peter growing up

- had a completely innocent crush on effie as a child & teenager

- rivaled james in their love for quidditch

- extremely competitive and determined to best everyone in everything, takes silly games way too seriously but it's endearing

- struggled coming to terms with their sexuality & identity as they grew older

- often felt isolated from their female peers when they couldn't relate to them when they talked about boys

- struggled with feeling perverted when female friends would get comfortable around them

- fought more with not liking boys than liking girls

- their parents' relationship issues at home made them go through a dark phase in sixth year

- became snappy & temperamental, lost interest in quidditch, fought with dorcas alot

- started wearing leather jackets & dark eye makeup

- after years of struggling to identity crisis, they eventually found themselves

- they regained some of their brightnesw, but still kept their style, often traded clothes with sirius with how similiarly they dressed

- was eventually murdered by a long time friend

Dorcas meadows:

-despite her high status as a rich pureblood, she defyed slytherin stereotypes with her progressives views on blood status

- her dismissal of blood hierachy were partly shaped by her experiences as a black witch because being pureblood unfortunately didn't save her from racism

- she was conscious of her temper & presented herself in a practiced way, understanding how being dark-skinned & black could affect how she's perceived

- was elegant, poised & remarkably fashionable

- could cut ppl like a knife with her words without even raising her voice

- had a motherly nature to her & always looked out for first years

- even non slytherins respected & admired her

- it wasn't until marlene was kiIIed that she lost all her elegance & control & went batshit insane, no longer caring about getting herself dirty

Alice Fortescue:

-lily's role model

- herbology queen

- kind & loving but no pushover

- wise beyond her years

- talented at balancing being responsible & having fun

- more of a trouble maker than people gave them credit for

Pandora lovegood:

- grew up in the woods with her paranoid grandmother surrounded by more magical creatures than people

- had a tendency to ask sudden philosophical questions, only regulus could keep up

- polite but extremely detached from her social surroundings

- sweet to those she really liked

- had a comforting presence but was much darker than people assumed

- intelligent in a mad scientist way

- rules & concern for her life never stopped her from experimenting with dark magic

- had really thought she had the hang of it when trying to destroy the horcrux

- she didn't

Remus and lily had choreographed dances to most Abba songs and when they were played at her wedding they both still preformed them though lily was in heals and sirius and James were absolutely gobsmacked and just watched in amazement

Things that would send walburga in to a coma

-sirius' hair in poa

-either of her kids liking men

-james potter in general

-sirius dating a half-blood

-muggle-borns actually being good at magic

-lesbians

-marlene.

-remus being a werewolf

-gingers

-peter

-american girl dolls

-pirates of the caribbean

-jeggings

-james Corden

-ellen de generous

-barbie princess and the pauper

-that one scene in were the millers where they pretend that drugs are their baby (also the one where Kenny got bit by a tarantula)

-max stani

-raisins

-skinny jeans

-shark boy and lavq girl

-michael cera

-the barbie movie

-love actually

Peter is the BIGGEST 1d fan (rock me was his favorite)

James always has his feet out

Lily's favorite Christmas film was love actually

Dorcas' fav colour was orange/yellow

Alice and Frank as the olive theory but like not really cause they both loved olives but frank lied about it cause Alice was so happy when they fit the olive theory

James had a Lego collection

Sirius had a shit poker face

James once broke 4 bones trying to do a back hand spring (sirius did it perfectly first try)

Sirius can't stay still when he's sleeping ending in Remus with LOTS of bruises

All of them (the marauders + the girls + frank) played a massive game of hide and seek all throughout Hogwarts and peter went missing for three days

James but as the 'drakes the kinda guy' trend.

Marlene calls James her little white boy

Parental issues:

Sirius: issues

Marlene: mummy

James: mostly daddy but he's chill with both

Peter: single mum

Remus: daddy issues (mums dead)

Lily: sister issues

Alice: happy family

Dorcas: happy family

Mary: divorced parents but happy with both

Frank: closer with his mum

Mary and peter play hello kitty island adventure

James is a girl dad

Lily is a boy mum

Fav ts song:

James: love story (tv)

Sirius: anti hero

Remus: bejeweled

Peter: shake it off

Mary: Betty

Marlene: getaway car

Lily: paper rings

Alice: All too well (tv)

Dorcas: champagne problems

The girls did a ranking of all the boys based on looks and personality and they put James and sirius at the bottom to piss them off but just above James they put Snape to spite James. Frank and peter were at the top.

Fancasts

James: Aaron Taylor Johnson

Sirius: Ben barnes

Remus: Andrew Garfield

Peter: lewis capaldi

Regulus: Timotheè chalamet

Lily: Sophie Skelton

Marlene: bebadoobe

Dorcas: Janelle osei-tutu

Mary: Sofia Bryant

Alice: young winnona Ryder

Frank: Jim sturgess

Snape: Louis Garrel

Barty: young David Tennant

Peter is lactose intolerant but eats the most dairy

[housano]

Housano Live-A-Half Assed Summaries Presents: Welcome to the Black Masquerade Part 7- Judas' fursona was a lion

I did find my cord after the previous summary 😅 Anywho, buckle up kiddos because this is going to be a bumpy motherfucking ride.

For parts 5+6, click here

CW: Live a Hero Spoilers, Heartbreaking betrayal, Unsated feelings of bloodlust screaming for vengeance

Maculata is doing well and holding the Pauderna in pristine shape. The Chassard interrogator stays that this is proof we were conspiring to steal, but being the boss bitch that she is, she immediately shuts him up and explains what happened to her.

While everyone was distracted by the fight, she immediately heard the sound of the wall opening. She quickly took Pauderna and hid it under a tablecloth that fell down during the fight and hid herself behind a fallen table before the lights went out. Her race allows her to have decent night vision and make out figures who were panicking that the Pauderna was gone but they needed to move out before the lights went on and told to start apprehending the target, aka us. Maculata slipped in with the Pauderna and waited.

Additionally Maculata has kept in communication with us the entire time, guiding us through that because they don't have the Pauderna, they are desperate and panicking to get a confession out of us. She guides us to play it cool and have faith in Yohack and Nessen and that we have the upper hand in this situation. She reveals the only people who could have known about that passage were the Chassard as they declared earlier the only entries into the room were the doors and windows. Astosis commends us for proving our innocence and asks us to hand him the Pauderna, but MC refuses.

Nessen points out how Astosis knew about the conversation with the shopkeepers and how we knew certain things already which he should not have been privy to. Additionally the map with the layout of the castle in his office. The only way he would know this information is if he has been working with the Chassard Maculata then brings up the final nail in the coffine: the piece of Pauderna found on our person. This goes back to her reaction to seeing Pauderna but hid that something was off with Pauderna when she saw it as a piece was missing. Yohack confirms the only way that would be possible would be after it was on display at the venue, as the craftsmen thoroughly It was then we realized that Astosis slipped the gem into our outfit when he thanked us for coming during the dance

*My live reaction*

At this point, the mask is completely off in which Astosis commends us for figuring out the entire scheme. With new technologies and cultures, this would erase the cultures and traditions of Cloges. He worked with Chassard with the intent of destroying the Pauderna, blaming it on us, and then using the rage of the people to banish all aliens. That way Cloges will remain a permanently closed system. The bastard also implies that he was responsible for the fraudulent evidence that got Yohack's parents sentenced and banished. He tries to force us to hand over the Pauderna with the back up from the Chassard but our new bestie, Giasal picks them off one by one. Yohack is determined to get through to Astosis and we begin our fight.

During the battle the restrictions levels are offline and we are broadcasting and putting this bitch on blast. He goes on that the people do not need their own individual path. That they should only follow the path set before them by Chassard. That is the tradition of Cloges. He pulls out his Scales of Injustice at the halfway point, but all that does it attract the attention of Giasal who nullifies that. Astosis can't fight back against the brute strength. I felt it appropriate to end someone who set us up on accusations of thievery with an actual thief and who better to do that than our camp queen, Vulpecula?

Welcome to the Black Masquerade Part 7- I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU! WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! HOW DARE YOU?!- END

For Part H8, click here

[thomase1]

Two broken make a whole; chapter 4

Series masterlist Full masterlist

Its starting to get interesting now! Buckle up, its going to be a bumpy ride!

Also, the Bert part is inspired by this deleted scene from infinity war: YouTube. Made me laugh so I added it :)

I'm going to be honest, life has been kind of shit the past few weeks for me, so I apologize if that change of mood shows in this chapter. Ive been trying to finish it for 3 weeks now. Still, I hope its somewhat entertaining! <3

Warnings: violence, guns, panic attack, trauma, ptsd?, past rape/abuse? (not graphic/explicite), angst, hurt/comfort

I hope thats it?

Wordcount: ~2.200

Deviders by @harlequin-hangout

Why now?

That's all you can think as you lay in bed, reflecting about today and the events leading up to it all.

Out of all the times to have a panic attack, it had to be today. Out on a mission. The first one with Loki. Out of all the bad guys it could have been, why one that apparently knows you.

Was it true?

The things that guy said, were they true? Were your fears justified after all? You rack your brain until you can no more, a pounding headache telling you to stop. With a groan you sit down in the shower and let the water ground you further.

What led you to sitting in your shower, questioning life once again and feeling beyond humiliated, was a meeting. The biggest you have attended since the one voting you as an official Avenger. It was the same for Loki. All Avengers were required to attend said meeting. Apart from Wanda and Vision who were excused since they were fighting terrorists on the other half of the planet. Even some high ranked Agents, such as Hill and Coulson, were there. Not to mention the armada of security.

Somehow the date and details got leaked and the outcome was frightening. They stormed the whole first floor of the tower, the street was packed full of paparazzi and news teams. Even the next door buildings were full of them as they attempted to film into the briefing room. Poor Happy was so stressed. His nemesis Bert was right next door, leaning out the window from the building next to the tower. When Happy spotted him, he almost ripped the window off its hinges.

"Bert! I see you Bert!", he yelled and threw a stapler after him but Bert just closed the window and continued taking pictures, "Bert you son of a bitch!", he growled and stormed off. Steve already opened his mouth but Sam clapped his shoulder, "Dont test him. I think he's about ready to snap. The kid's not here anyway.".

The actual meeting started when Fury arrived. It was rather boring until it came to the votes. You shot Loki a few glances, he looked very disinterested and like he would rather not see all these people.

Despite the not so great interactions with him that far, you voted for him. Anything else would have been rather childish, he is a good asset after all.

Clint, Tony, Maria and Phil voted against it, which is fair enough you figured. Fury was holding off on voting as was Steve. Thor, Scott, Sam, Bruce and Nat voted for him. Bruce said he believes Loki’s story that he was indeed not in control of his actions and that he deserves this opportunity to show who he really is. Nat gave the reason that she'd be a hypocrite if she didn't give him the same opportunity she got, trying to wipe out the red of her ledger. Thor was an obvious yes, vouching for Loki repeatedly and assuring he will keep an eye on his brother.

Loki seemed surprised that so many actually believe in him and give him a chance. Bruce's words especially let his eyes soften. But of course, only for the briefest of moments.

The votes have decided, Loki is an official Avenger now but is to be accompanied by Thor since he could handle him. Just in case. Of course Loki was not happy about that restriction and tried to bargain, but with Fury making that decision, there was no arguing.

Before anybody could flee the room, Steve announced a training session with everybody. Since it was the first time the whole new squad was gathered. Even though you were painfully annoyed at him, it was important.

Working as a team and being able to trust each individual team member is essential for the functioning of this unique combined force. And it was only half as bad as you expected it to be.

You had one revelation; Loki fighting with his magic and not just daggers was truly a sight to behold. The concentrated clench of his jaw, the raven hair falling into his sweaty face as green wisps of magic swirled around him were nothing short of breathtaking.

Magic in general was fascinating to you.

Wanda used to show you what she can do and distract you from your wandering thoughts while she still lived at the tower. Both of you were in a dark place, mentally, and those late nights of laying on the rooftop, bundled up in blankets as red magic formed whole movies of pictures above you were essential to your new life. It was the start of you letting go of the past and embracing the present and future, even if the trauma and sadness never fully disappeared. She was no different, the loss she experienced pained her deeply and both of you agreed, it never fully goes away, but it gets better. For her, meeting and falling in love with Vision was a big step in letting go of the past. Which made you a lot more anxious since you never took a chance when it came to romance.

But that's a train of thought for another night.

After the meeting and training, nothing interesting happened, until yesterday when Steve called Thor, Loki and you to an office. It was brought to your attention that you will go on a mission the next day, alongside the godly brothers. He explained that usually, it would have been Thor and you, but since Loki needs to get out on the field, it was the perfect opportunity.

The mission sounded simple; clear out a warehouse full of hydra weapons. It already turned out to be a challenge when Steve told you that a cartel had spotted it first, so you had to deal with a warehouse full of armed mobsters.

Nobody could have prepared you for the actual problem though.

The journey there was nothing unusual, Thor and you blabbered about everything and nothing as Loki sat on the seat furthest away from you two. You pulled up the chopper and landed it on a field. After Thor got out the layout of the warehouse, you discussed the way to approach this mission. The brothers went to the back entry while you focus on the main entrance.

Your ways parted and the coms were turned on. Loading your gun, you sneaked inside, taking cover behind a wall. Silently, you knocked out two of them as they were trying to go outside. "Took out two.", you whispered into the mic. "We have eyes on five of them.", Thor answered. "Good, keep an eye on them, I will try to move further." "Understood."

Slowly, you sneaked closer, taking out another one that spotted you. "I'm in the main room, took out one more along the way.", you confirmed. "Perfect. The group remains unaware." Just as you were about to answer, a big dude walks out of a small sideroom. You were worried about this exact thing. "Who do we have here? Y/n L/n, better known as Medusa. You have made quite the fuss over that one time.", he smirks with silver teeth. You scrutinized him, trying to make sense of his words. Trying to remember him since he obviously knows you.

You heard asgardian armours creaking behind, the boys got ready for action. They knew something was wrong since you did not roger the last information. The dude looked over his shoulder briefly before looking back at you. "So it is true, you don't have any memory of the past. It's a shame, you were rather good.", he chuckled.

Every muscle in your body went rigid, his words made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Your biggest fear, set ablaze in the middle of a mission. "Y/n, do you know this guy?", Thor laid a hand on your shoulder which made you flinch.

You looked at him, mirroring his shocked expression.

"I- No, I.. Thor I don't remember.", your lip quivered, your heart thundered against your ribs. Your body went into freeze mode. You saw and heard everything, a gun clicking and being pointed in your face, heavy steps echoed through the big storage room, but you just couldn't move. The next few moments are a blur, your panic and fear overtook you as Loki disarmed the man, Thor knocked two who came running out the side. You crumpled to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest, wheezing. It feelt like the floor was swallowing you, your body in the constant motion of falling. Breathing got harder and harder, your lungs felt too big for your body. Everything felt out of place, the wrong size and your ears were ringing painfully loud.

It was clear to you that you had to calm down, that you were hyperventilating, but you couldn't snap out of it. The questions were crushing you like a bug.

Where does he know you from?

Why do you know a person like him?

"..y/n... calm down-..."

What did he mean?

"...need to breathe... hey!"

Did he..?

You winced at the hand meeting your knee, drawing them even closer, which wasn't really possible.

"Y/n. What is the matter?" Thor's voice made it through to you. You weakly lifted your head to look at him, holding your breath in shock instead of breathing too fast. He looked worried. "You are shaking. Y/n, what is wrong?", he observed and rubbed your upper arms in an attempt to warm you. Poor innocent Thor. You couldn't help but let a broken sob escape you, the humiliation of the situation settling in.

You just had a panic attack.

In the middle of a mission.

While a gun was pointed at you.

In front of not only Thor but also Loki, who you haven't even properly talked to. He can't stand you already, this will only make it worse.

"Talk to me. Are you hurt?", Thor asked softly while rubbing your knee in a comforting manner. You shook your head, burying it back between your knees.

"You have to breathe Agent.", the low baritone of the dark prince made your stomach flip. You squeezed your eyes shut, but you could still see the guy in front of you. Article after article of your research about your nickname. You already had it before Haydra took you, so you forgot its origin. When you got taken in by the others, you started researching Medusa and her history. What you found started your fears. The fear that your younger self sympathized with that character for a particular reason.

"Agent.", his voice rang in your ears again. Only then did you realize you were breathing rapidly again, mouth opened to take bigger gasps. The words from the guy echoed in your mind, trying to block them out, you pressed your palms flat to your ears, but it was no use. They were just as loud.

You yelped when you suddenly felt a hand press on your mouth, another pried your hand from one of your ears. "Deep breaths, come on. Breath in for four." You looked at him panicked but he kept a stern expression, "Through your nose, breathe in for four seconds. Now.". You did as you were told, despite counting being harder than it should have been. "Hold for seven.", he removed his hand from your mouth, the grip on your wrist grew softer. After seven seconds he said, "Now out of your mouth for eight."

You repeated the whole process once more and followed every step as you felt your heart rate slow down. You hesitantly opened your eyes and saw Loki in front of you, his eyes were filled with something you identified as deprecation. " 'm sorry", you mumbled as you chewed your cheek.

Out of all the people and out of all days, it had to be when he joined in.

"No need to be sorry, just keep breathing. 4 7 8.", he let go of you completely but his watch on your form got more intense.

As you kept breathing, the guys took care of the rest. The walk back to the chopper was silent. You let Thor fly while you sat back and thought about everything that went wrong. And every possibility on how that dude knew you. Occasionally Thor checked in with you and you half heartedly confirmed your well being. Loki brought you some water and sat back in the cockpit. You gulped that water down like a thirsty camel.

The worry never stopped though.

With all those mobsters, including the one that attacked you, in the back of the chopper, you didn't feel very safe. Even though Loki put a spell on all of them, keeping them unconscious as long as needed.

After a flight that felt like an eternity, you arrived back home and made a quick exit straight to your room. A hot shower was what you needed.

Unbeknownst to you, Thor and Loki took off again after handing over most of the suspects. Except one.

Tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtigger @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @yoongissidebitchh

Everything: @slytherclaw1227 @their-love @vickie5446 @buttercupcookies-blog @peaches1958

Wifey @plushcrushdoll 💜

[tmntclips]

Buckle up bitches, its going to be a bumpy ride

[leonsliga]

leon saying he's staying, tuchel just not letting him start..well, this is going to be painful

Buckle up bitches; we’re in for a bumpy ride 😵 I know I shouldn’t be so easily hurt anymore after the rollercoaster we’ve just been through, but somehow I still am. Why does Tuchel hate us so? At least we’ve all got each other for emotional support, right? 💜

[stealth-liberal]

I am so sick. Like, called the doctor for help sick. Full body aches, can feel every hair follicle level of sick. I now have some interesting post nasal drip that's going on, and the ENTIRE BOTTOM HALF OF MY FACE HAS SWOLLEN UP. This swelling has gone beyond double chin, beyond triple chin, there is basically a morass of swollen flesh the extends from my jaw bone (which you cannot see within the sheer amount of... swollen that there is) to basically my clavicle.

It's gross.

My tongue is swollen too, and my mouth doesn't want to shut. So my jaw aches along with the full body aches, skin sensitivity, constant need to pee (I'm seriously thinking of just figuring out how to sleep sitting up on a fucking toilet), and a slight sore throat. Y'anno, you would think with all the swelling that my throat would hurt more than it does, but it doesn't.

Basically, I got some normal run of the mill virus and that woke my Lyme disease up and she said, like the bitch on wheels that she is, "HOLD MY BEER GUYS, I GOT THIS. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE ABSOLUTE SHIT SHOW I CAN MAKE OF THIS! BUCKLE UP MADAME. IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE!"

I forget that I have a chronic illness a lot. It affects my life in waves. I can go years with the only thing I deal with is minor joint pain in my feet. Other times, Lyme is raging through my body and ruining everything in her path like a meth addict on a rip-roaring rampage of drug fueled revenge.

There is no consistency, and so it's easy for my ADHD brain to forget. Other times, it's like it is right now, and I am reduced to whispering threats to my body like that will actually work.

[august-bleeds-red]

A Job Well Done - Part Two

Jason Voorhees, Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair and Michael Myers wet their S/O’s whistle (NSFW under the line)

Part One (Brahms Heelshire, Thomas Hewitt and Vincent Sinclair) here

Jason Voorhees (2009)

Summer is dying, the leaves changing to auburn and yellow, and Jason’s machete lies forgotten against the maple trunk. The tree stands alone in a large meadow of long grass, painted gold from the fading season, its crimson coat of leaves like fire against the azure September sky.

 So many colours, yet the only shade you have eyes for is white.

 You trace the patterns of Jason’s mask with your fingertips, like you don’t know them by heart already, couldn’t conjure the image in your mind from anywhere in the world. His hand rests easily on your skirt, the tip of one finger just brushing your thigh. You take his hand in yours and press it against the swell of your chest, leaning forward to plant a kiss at the place on his mask where his mouth would be.

 “Jason.”

 He’ll never grow tired of hearing his name spoken in your sweet voice. You begin to push your fingers beneath the hockey mask’s edge, pausing to kiss the exposed skin when his body freezes in fear. You’ve only seen his face once before – the first time you met – so you understand his hesitation to allow you a second view. When you get to his mouth, you kiss his twisted lips with enough passion to still his breath, and his hands grip tightly to your upper arms, holding you so close you can feel his heartbeat against your chest. The mask falls to the ground, gazing with empty eyes at the romantic scene playing out next to it. You feel so small, so safe, wrapped in his muscular arms, the heart beating beneath his torn shirt pulsing with vibrant life for you alone. Your hand trails down the bulky layers of clothing and settles on the crotch of his pants, causing him to shift in embarrassment at the hardness beneath. He’s still not used to the idea that his attraction to you won’t be met with disgust on your part. You chuckle and rub a little harder.

 “It’s okay, baby.”

 Struck by a sudden impulse, you get to your feet and look around the empty field to check that it’s . . . well, empty. The only sounds for miles are the rustling of leaves and the calling of birds; not even the faintest rumble of traffic reaches all the way out here. You pull your dress off in one quick movement, revealing the modest bra and boy-shorts you’re wearing underneath. You’ve never been this exposed under open sky before, and your heart dances as you unlatch the clasp at your back. You stand before him exposed to the world, the sun on your shoulders, the wind gently ruffling your hair. He rises to his full, considerable, height, his eyes never leaving yours, and backs you up against the trunk of the tree. The bark presses into your bare skin, imprinting the soul of the woods onto you as Jason leaves his own marks on the side of your neck.

 “Hold still,” you whisper against his ear, dropping to your knees in the damp grass, your fingers already making short work of his belt buckle. He knows what you’re doing, although he can scarce believe it’s really happening. You, so pure, so perfect, blessing him with your beautiful lips and unconditional affection.

 He’s even bigger than you thought he’d be. There’s no way you’re going balls-deep with this one, that’s for sure.

 “A shower and a grower, huh?” you smirk up at him, appreciating the bashful expression that flits across his features.

 He tastes like the wild, of soft earth and clear spring water. He bucks his hips involuntarily and the back of your head bumps the tree behind you, making you wince and rub your scalp. Leaning over slightly, Jason cups the base of your skull, protecting you from further injury.

 “So thoughtful,” you smile, returning to your task, the shadow of his large torso now shielding you from any prying eyes. Not that anyone would need two guesses to know exactly what you were doing. You take him in as far as your throat will allow, and then a little further, so you gag a little on the thick head. He moans, deep and long, and you feel a surge of strange power – this giant oak of a man, brought to such tender passion by your hands, by your mouth. You run the flat of your tongue up the underside of his cock, feeling the bumpy veins against your sensitive taste-buds. You imagine how incredible it would feel to have this inside you, to have Jason pumping into you, spilling his seed into you, making you his and his alone.

 You can tell he’s trying not to lose control, but his knees are shaking from the exertion of it. You’re determined to snap that final straw. Keeping one hand on his shaft, you lick at his balls, sucking them in and rolling them between your tongue and the roof of your mouth. He braces his free hand against the tree and begins to rock his hips in earnest, and you let your mouth drop open enough for cockhead to slide in and out freely.

 He cums almost without warning, just two short spasms of his hips and your mouth is full of bitter-tasting seed, spilling out over your lips and dripping onto your exposed breasts. The sight of you coated with the evidence of his desires is almost too much for him. Swallowing what’s left on your tongue, you smile and wipe your lips as daintily as you can with your fingers.

 Jason’s fingers hover over your chest, clearly wanting to help with the clear up but unsure if fondling your breasts is the best way to do it. Collecting as much of the translucent fluid on your finger, you put it to your lips and suck, keeping careful eye contact with the stunned man the entire time. You laugh as he tackles you to the ground, his eager lips already working their way down your body, large hands pushing your legs apart.

 Looks like it’s your turn.                    

Bo Sinclair (warning: Daddy kink)

It’s not often that Bo condemns you to the garage basement, but when he does, you know its going to be a good few hours before you’re released. The man has the stamina of a jackrabbit and can go at least four times before he’s fully satisfied, or at least until he gets hungry and wants supper.

 You try not to think of how many less compliant girls Bo has restrained in the chair as he tightens the straps around your wrists. Now that he has you, any victims are given straight to Vincent for the museum, but you know there have been many who have passed through his room first. As you watch him secure your ankles in place, you marvel at how such a beautiful countenance can conceal such a dark and twisted history. But, for your sins (and his), you love him.

 “That not too tight for you, is it, sugar?” he asks. “Hate to mar this perfect skin of yours.”

 His large hands cover your wrists over the buckles, the sleeves of his shirt riding up just enough for you to see his scars. You shake your head and he flashes a wicked smile. The chair has a crank on its side that adjusts the height, and you can only watch as he turns it round and round, the entire mechanism dropping you further down towards the floor. Ah, so he was in this kind of mood. He’s already undoing his belt, the clinking of metal like an orchestral warm-up to the main event. Lifting one leg high, he plants it firmly on the other side of the chair so he’s basically straddling your shoulders, his head silhouetted against the ceiling light.

 “You go ahead and open those pretty lips nice and wide,” he says, stroking his cock languidly and rubbing the tip against your mouth. You know he likes to sing for his supper, likes to work for it a little, so you don’t give up the goods immediately, rolling your head to the side and keeping your lips firmly closed. Bo growls and cups your chin firmly between his fingers.

 “I said open,” he squeezes harder and your mouth opens a crack, giving him an in to force his cock onto your tongue and straight to the back of your throat. You cough and splutter a little, but he doesn’t want to break you when you’ve just started playing.

 “Y’like that, huh, bitch?” he moans. “Y’like taking daddy’s cock?”

 In this space, in this world of just you and him, the words send a thrill right down to your toes. He frames your head with both hands, keeping you in place as he fucks your mouth. The back of your head bumps against the chair and your fingers flex against their bonds.

 Bo hisses through his teeth, gripping and releasing your hair as he thrusts. “Fuuuuuck, babe. You feel so goddamn good.”

 Reaching behind him, he forces his hand under the waistband of your jeans, two thick digits probing your slit, coming away wet.

 “Such an eager slut,” he grins, sucking your juices from his fingers with obscene pleasure. “You’re so wet for my cock in your little whore mouth.”

 You whimper around him, spit bubbling at the corners of your mouth, your tongue slick with precum. His rhythm is becoming more erratic, the dirty names coming thick and fast in the way they always do when he’s about to cum inside any of your holes. In these moments, he might call you a slut, a whore, a filthy bitch, but you’re his, goddamn it, and he’ll mark you as his territory a thousand times to let the whole world know it.

 You screw your eyes shut tight as he cums in the back of your throat, forcing his hips as far forward as possible to ensure you can’t spit any of it out. You’re gasping for air when he finally pulls away, mascara smudged under your eyes, your hair tangled from his grasping fingers.

 His eyes turn soft as he bends down to kiss you, fingers toying with the straps. “You want outta these?”

 You know the answer he wants to hear, and this time, you’re gonna give it to him. His grin turns wolfish as you shake your head.

 “That’s my girl.”      

Lester Sinclair

“No offense, sweetie,” you say as you pull away from Lester, “but you kinda stink.”

 He pulls a face and sniffs unceremoniously under his arms. “Ain’t no worse than Vinny.”

 Okay, not true – the worst Vincent smells like is an accident in a Yankee Candle shop. “Well, I don’t share a bed with Vincent. In the tub, mister.”

 Since you moved into the Sinclair family home, the extra efforts Lester had made during your courtships seemed to have slipped slightly. Not that you minded, really – you loved him anyway – but it was nice when he wasn’t sporting Eau de Man Smell.

 “Tell you what,” you purr, running your fingers down his shirt to rest over his belt buckle. “You hop in that tub, and I’ll do things that Vinny will hear from the House of Wax.”

 Like a racoon into a garbage can, Lester rips off his shirt and hops in the direction of the bathroom, one foot already tangled in the leg of his jeans. By the time he emerges, skin pink from the hot water, towel wrapped around his waist, you’re waiting on the bed. His dark eyes sweep over your body, naked and ready for him, and the bed practically bounces off the wall in his eagerness to reach you.

 “Lie on your back,” you instruct, pulling the towel apart to reveal his dripping cock. He watches you with thinly-veiled adoration as you start to lick the head, fingers squeezing and rubbing along the shaft.

 “Baby,” he strokes your hair and you raise your head to meet his gaze. “Turn ‘round.”

 A knowing grin on your face, you swivel to face his feet, giving him a front-row view of your soft, moist slit. His hands on your hips ease you backwards, far enough for his tongue to reach you, and you lean down to take his cock back into your mouth. At this angle, it slips easily to the back of your throat, just big enough to make you gag when you try and hold it there too long. You moan as his warm tongue licks at you, inside you, and the vibration of your voice sends a thrill running through his body. As you bob up and down, licking the head of his cock like a popsicle, he alternates between worshiping the folds of your pussy, and sucking on your clit. The sheer intensity of his administrations combined with the taste of him on your tongue has you almost whimpering with arousal. You take him in as far as you can and swallow around him, making his hips buck and drawing a choke from your throat.

 “Ah shit, baby, that’s feels so fucking good,” he moans, breath warm against your sex. You cum first. Lester feels the muscles inside you contracting again and again around his probing tongue, and soon after empties himself into your waiting mouth. Adjusting your position to right-side-up, you snuggle into his side, his arm holding you close, and breathe a contented sigh.

 Sure, it might be a little annoying having to remind him to bathe, but if this was the pay-off, it was fucking worth it.          

Michael Myers (warning: Michael likes it rough)      

As the door slams shut, every muscle in your body tenses in the fight-or-flight response you’ve grown to ignore when around your boyfriend. When he’s in a good or apathetic mood, you never hear him coming, but when his mood turns sour, the foundations of the house rattle.

 He’s dripping blood as he looms in the doorway, six-foot-eight of chest-heaving, seething anger. Usually an evening of mindless slaughter is enough to sate him in a dark mood, but when that fails, it comes down to you. You love him – you’ll always love him – but in these moments, you can’t deny the fear that spikes at the back of your neck.

 “Hey, babe,” you say, trying to keep your voice light. “You . . . welcome home.”

 You try not to wince as the bloodied knife in his hand sails through the air to land with a deadly *THUNK* in the wall behind you, dark crimson oozing down the wallpaper. You’ll have fun trying to explain that to the landlord.

 “Michael—”

 He crosses the room in three long strides, grabbing you by the elbow and yanking you to your feet.

 “Ow! Hey, what’re you—”

 Grabbing the back of your head in one enormous hand, he smothers your lips with his, forcing his tongue in deep in a kiss that tastes of blood, his teeth grinding cruelly against your mouth. It has the desired effect, stealing your voice as he drags you through to the bedroom and throws you down onto the bed. Still trying to catch your breath, you watch helplessly as Michael rips down the zip of his jumpsuit, pulling it down over his shoulders. His mask is thrown into a corner of the room, his long hair falling loose around his face. You catch a brief glimpse of his hard, muscular body, straining against the fabric of the black T-shirt he wears underneath, before he grabs a fistful of your hair and wrenches you onto your back, not hard enough to hurt, but enough for you to know you’re to Stay Put. Your head hangs over the side of the bed and, from your upside-down perspective, you can see him working his long, thick cock into hardness.

 Oh boy.

 You just have time to open your mouth before he’s pushing inside, sliding easily to the back of your throat and then still further. Since you got together, your deepthroating skills have had to evolve quickly. Fisting handfuls of the bedsheets, you catch the smallest of breaths before his pace quickens, fucking your throat as he would your pussy, drawing out those deep, wet choking noises from you that get him even harder. He rumbles deep in his chest, hands wrapped around your throat to keep you in place, thumbs pressing on the spot where he can feel his cockhead bulging against your skin. He pulls out for a moment to let you gasp and cough before plunging in again, one hand at your neck, the other roughly fondling your breasts. You clutch at his thick wrist like a lifeline, nails digging in. Your eyes are streaming, your throat already raw from such a brutal attack, and you know this is just the first of many assaults.

 Michael swears under his breath, voice low and animalistic, his body tensing like a marble statue as he cums directly down your throat, the taste barely touching your tongue.

Sinking to his knees beside the bed, you take a moment to catch your breath before rolling over and reaching out a tentative hand. His strong fingers grip yours – to stop you or feel your touch, you can’t tell – dark blond hair obscuring his face. Slowly, he draws your hand to his mouth, not to kiss, but to simply feel against his lips. It’s not always easy, having Michael Myers be the owner of your heart, but you’ve no desire to claim it back. Not when you know, in your soul, that you own his in return. He doesn’t push you away when you stroke his hair, even going so far as to move a little closer.  

 “It’s okay,” you say, your voice hoarse. “You’re home now.”  

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed this! Also taking requests.

[ohnoitsthebat]

for the ask meme! C, D, F, G, M, N, O, Q, R (oKAy i'm sorry that was a lot, you don't have to do all of those you can just choose if you want :') )

Buckle up, Rose, 'cause it's going to be a bumpy ride! C: A ship you have never liked and probably never will: Kreese/Johnny. No offense to anyone who likes it, but it's not something I can get behind. Probably never will. D: A pairing you wish you liked but just can't. Steve & Nancy, from Stranger Things. I like both characters, but I prefer them with other people than with each other. They just don't click, for me. F: What's the longest you've ever been in a fandom? 14+ years and still going (wrestling fandom) G: Do you remember your favorite OTP, if so who was in it? My first ever OTP was Tommy and Kimberly from the Power Rangers. M: Say something genuinely nice about a ship you don't ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you) I love the CK/TKK fandom. I have only been in the fandom a few months (but a fan of The Karate Kid movies since childhood), but everyone has been so kind and welcoming. I think it's because it's such a small fandom. Honestly, I like that it's small. Mega fandoms just aren't for me. And the creativity blows me away! There are so many AUs and fic tropes that I love reading about, and everyone puts their own unique twist on them. I don't feel like a weirdo or an outlier in this fandom, unlike with previous ones. And @camptriplepine, you share the same love for summer camp stories that I do, so that makes me happy. I love seeing your posts on my dash! N: Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or fandom of choice) Well, I'm not really an active member of the S*pernatural fandom anymore, and the reasons I'm going to list are a big part of why I'm not. Number one, I never saw a sense of community or family within the fandom. They liked to call themselves a "family", but I never felt more alienated when I was in that fandom than any other fandom I've been in. Number two, the infighting. The fandom was full of toxic behavior, from content policing to death threats, purity culture, harassment, and callouts. People just could not ship and let ship, OR allow people to enjoy the content and character headcanons they had. It was so negative, even when I filtered content and blocked, I still saw awful behavior. And number three, I wish I had seen more fun things. O: Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of? "Voices Carry" by 'Til Tuesday reminds me of a teen Lawrusso AU where Daniel and Johnny are fooling around, and Daniel is falling head over heels for Johnny, but Johnny is afraid to admit that he's queer (mostly because of his mom, Sid, and Kreese), so he tells Daniel that they have to keep their relationship hidden. Wowwww, I made myself sad. Q: A ship you've abandoned and why Dean/Cas (aka D*stiel) from SPN. I don't want to get too much into it, because I don't want to get a ton of hate, but I will say that a big part of why I abandoned it was due to the hardcore shippers. If you'd like to know more about why, I'll tell you. Just message me :) R: A pairing you ship that you don't think anyone else ships Hmm. I'm not sure that I have any odd ships. I'm a pretty boring bitch, LOL. Thanks for these, Rose! I enjoyed answering them.

[dailudannos]

Walker and Bullet deserved redemption arcs and backstories don’t @ me

*cracks knuckles*

BUCKLE UP BITCHES, IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE

Ok, but here's my hot take on Bullet and Walker's backstories and (maybe, possibly) character arcs

⚠️(Tw: mentions of death, murder, and/or very touchy topics. Viewer discretion is advised)⚠️

SO-

They knew each other in their past lives, as humans, and can remember bits and pieces, but it's fuzzy.

Bullet met Walker when he applied for a job at the prison. He needed a crew cut job to fit his resume before he retired in like, fifteen+ years

Idk, the name Braden Rameriaz fits?? A 40 year old with his eye on the prize

He is-

An African American/Hispanic black man

A raging bisexual

And has to live down in a good ol' racist and homophobic town where he has to work at

This is where he meets Walker though! Walker is the warden of the prison where he sees Bullet applying for a job at.

Jeremiah Sales, 45, good-looking, not so good with the ladies...

White/Indigenous/African American male

A pretty fucking gay cowboy if you ask me //joke

Pretty much closeted his whole life living in the same old town with his family around (yikes, I know how that feels)

So Walker hires this hot shot, and sees that he does...pretty well, at first. But when things start to get hard, his lackey position earns him to second-in-command, right at Walker's side.

A few years go by, and the two grow closer together, like, really close 😳

They didn't realize that they were gay cause a) Walker gives off straight vibes and b) Walker thought Bullet only liked women. So it was like, "Wait, you're gay?? And you thought I liked only women??"..."Well I thought maybe you were taken, so..."

Yay relationship!! It lasts for a few months until the love has to end

So one day it was a normal day at work, but Bullet got the day off so he decided to go for a swim. Where they live there's a lake which is good for fishing and swimming in the summer months. So he had a good thing going when some co-workers show up and act as if they were having a cookout near the lake. (The co-workers were planning this from the start).

Bullet thinks they're just having a good time, so he tries to mind his business. But as soon as he rose back out of the water, they hold him down and push him back down into the water...until he doesn't move anymore

The next day Walker expects Bullet to come in as per usual. But he hadn't been answering his phone, his house phone, or any other immediate family members. So he files a missing report, and goes on about the order. The co-workers, however, had other plans. Walker called an official meeting to try and find Bullet, and his last known whereabouts.

"Sir..."

"Yes, Clancy?"

"We apologize, but...we don't take kindly to you or your kind."

"What-"

Shot. Dead. Three times is all it took.

He realizes where he is once he materializes into the ghost zone, and he's angry, and mourning, and confused. Why would they do this to him? He tried his damndest for each and every guard at that prison. Why? Why him, and why Bullet? What did he do to deserve any sort of treatment?

His mind is a mess, he's disorderly, and can't make sense of it all. He drops to his knees and cries, sobbing what he has left until no more tears come out, while his ghost forms to what remains of him. A former skeleton of what he was.

"Walker?"

Bullet had been in the zone for a day, with a pair of cargo pants, a bandana, boots, and a worn-out cape that he found. He had mourned and mourned, crying over the pain in his eye as he was plunged under the water, leaving a mark over it. Crying over how he would never be able to breathe, love, or being touched again. Although his appearance helped better himself.

Reunited at last, they lived out the rest of their days in the ghost zone, still not over to what happened to them, still wanting revenge, but happy to be in each other's arms again.

~

For the redemption arcs, it would have to be something rule oriented or something happening to danny to really come to Walker and Bullet for help.

Danny would have to deal with runaway ghosts out of the zone to really screw up and not be able to protect the town.

So he's humiliated into doing this. And he manages to find Walker's lair, and find both Bullet and Walker at the door, looking confused (they're married, don't @ me).

"Walker, I need your help. Badly."

So Bullet has to talk Walker into helping the kid after he's explained to them what's going down in the real world. He firmly agrees, and Walker spends the rest of the day doing cleanup control with Danny, who's having a blast beating ghosts and even talking to some of Walker's guards.

Bullet's there watching as he helps out with the control. He's sort of smug, but he's cooing over the fact that the kid is growing on Walker.

"Got room for another second in command, Sheriff?"

"No. But I'm considering it."

"The kid's grown on you after all. With his ghost control over this town, it reminds me of a certain cowboy."

At the very end of the day, Danny thanks Walker and Bullet for all their help, and he sees that they genuinely take a compliment, rather than being stoic and gritty, like they usually are.

"Sure kid. Just call me if any ghost is breaking any rules!"

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

ooooh? I actually haven't seen your pq2 salts...

Ok finally got a chance to sit down. (Future!Silly here, I hope you like salt anon. Cause today I got you a nice salty salt from the bottom of the saltiest portion of the Dead Sea, it’s seasoned with salt salt and more salt. Would you like a side of salt with your salt? Also please keep all pet snails and slugs away from the table, a stray wind could blow and kill them with how much salt is coming off of it). 

Oh anon...haha...ahahaha.... I'm going through my search history of PQ2, and I just saw I once considered it having "a better story" akldfjakljfdas I don't know why I thought that. It's plot....isn't better nor worse than PQ1, tho I would probs rank it just below PQ1....due to how PQ2 is a masochist and likes to hurt itself constantly (aka knee cap itself). And its execution could be A LOT better, but the basic idea isn't bad per se. (everything else I said there is fine, the single route vs the double route has pros and cons, one isn't better than the other (the characterization is better, but the rate at which people talk is A LOT worse). Tho in retrospect Tickets replacing strolls AND quests should be in con, screw Tickets. Tickets suck. Tickets don't allow me to see a popcorn eating contest between Teddie/Hamu/Chie for fun in the lobby (instead it’d make me run into the gd dungeon). Tickets should've only replaced quests and not strolls).

Oh shoot I'm already sorta off topic, just kinda rambling here. Ok under the cut cause I'm probs gonna get lengthy cause you know me. 8U

So a few things PQ2 did that burned me bad. 1) it lied to me, 2) P5 (characters/"themes" (if you can call it that)/yadda) can't carry anything for shit, 3) it literally breaks Persona's lore (like I thought P5 was bad, but this I think tops it), 4) Hamuko/Hikari/Nagi/Doe/P3/4 casts are so underutilized/overshadowed, 5) it really is just a P5 dick sucking fest the entire time

So this is me going off of memory from a year ago (wait was it a year-oh yeah I finished it when Corona took over at the beginning, yes a year ago), and again I do plan on replaying it because.....I just can't believe some of the shit I saw. But it's seared into my brain that I'm pretty sure I still remember it fairly well. But yeah expect a more refined version for "Which do I hate least" post.

Let's start with the lore breaking because I've already talked about it here (please ignore the P1/2 talk, I really need to familiarize myself with those games a lot more, also see the person's comment at the bottom for more clarification on anything P1/2 related). But it completely rips apart P3, P4, and P5's lore at the seams. Which leads into Hamu's outfit issue (as I mention it in that post but I go into it more here and here, also obligatory mention, the P5 cast don’t have shoes going into Futaba’s dungeon but in the next scene they have shoes, I am contractually obligated to point this out because P5 is bad game especially because of this... yes XV that line may still tick one person off...eh). 

Now let’s talk about the lying. Now buckle up because the ride’s about to get very bumpy but if you look to your right you’ll see familiar terrain. Yes Makoto. We’re going to talk about Makoto (not just Makoto tho but let me joke around a little). Actually iirc the first lie was with Haru in the 2nd dungeon (then it was Makoto with the Mitsuru ticket). And it wasn’t really Makoto/Haru per se (oh man praise the sky, Silly isn’t going to actually bitch about Makoto exactly! *Edit* Future!Silly here, haha about that.....I get salty, very, about Makoto, so sorry, we are going to rip Makoto apart. It’s not my fault, she asked for it. She shouldn’t have said what she said, now back to your poorly scheduled programing!), it’s mostly about the 3rd and 5th arc (and a little about the mouth pieces of these said scenes, aka Makoto and I believe Ryuji). And....just....before I continue....what is it about P5′s dungeons 3 and 5? Why do they feel connected so often? Is it cause Mako/Haru, aka the two mainstay 3rd years join our team at that time? Is it cause it’s easy to confuse the Gluttony/Greed thing between Kane/Oku? Is it because Kane/Oku had a lot of potential but P5 pissed all over them? Is it because they are both badly written arcs? Why? Just why?

(Before we get to the lies, the whole Mitsuru/Makoto ticket feels like a fast and watered-down and inferior version to PQ1′s P3 side’s B plot....it also feels like they are also licking P5′s ass again, Mitsuru mentioning how she feels “Inferior” to Makoto’s leadership *cackles* alkfjdsal; I’m sorry the fu-? What? Oh yes Makoto displays such a level of leadership of telling people what to do that it makes Mitsuru open up about insecurities that would require a whole ass B plot from the previous game to open up about yes sure god this game *eye rolls* Yes Makoto is at her most competent in this, which is a herculean effort for her, but it’s like....bare basic stuff for every/anyone else the hell? also fkldsajfklsa snnnrrrrk Makoto basically implies she doesn’t have a “commanding presence” like Mitsuru????? What? I thought that’s what you were going for Atlus? She strikes fear into her friends half the time in P5 and-you know what, I can’t roll my eyes any more, it might dislodge them from my head and I don’t feel like cleaning up the blood.......... *rewatching the scene some more* *trying not to bite off my tongue* Makoto implying she can take being ambushed and then later in the scene they imply even Mitsuru might not be able to take an ambush oh I just LOVE how this game loves to undercut P3/4 cast while boosting the P5 so fucking much! JUST LOVE IT! Cause P5 TOTALLY deserves it *eye rolls till my eyeballs come out* goddamn it..... Ok quick note, they do talk up Mitsuru a bit, but considering this game is all about sucking P5′s dick, it just really stands out when negatives are thrown P3/4′s way while praise is aimed at P5, even if it’s unintentional like “Makoto can probably take the shadows and then everyone’s nervous that Mitsuru can’t” I don’t think the game wanted to say it......but it accidentally did cause the game goes from Makoto humble bragging (girl I’ve yet to see you use actual self defense and not have to be rescued shut up) to cutting over to the P3 cast thinking how reckless Mitsuru is for possibly not being able to hold her own like the hell???? Sorry this is something I forgot and am seeing on rewatch).

Anyway the lies. The first instance with Haru. After they just watched the 2nd dungeon’s trailer:

Makoto: The movie makes it pretty clear that whatever most people agree with is correct, and no other opinions are valid. 

Ryuji: Whatever most people agree with, huh? That's not really our kinda thing.

Haru: Ryuji....

Moranga: But now, we know better.

Just.....what am I supposed to do with this game? I......I’m pretty sure I played P5 right......

First dungeon: Was almost a one off thing, no peer pressure just pure survival (surviving Kamo, saving themselves and other students, keeping MC, and Ryu, from expulsion)

Second dungeon: Decided they wanted to help people, kinda got lucky finding Mada (lucky they “found” him so fast...aka someone gave them a lead and then the walking plot convenience Yusuke happens to stalk up to Anne and oh look it’s Mada). We partially do it because of what we heard from the Shadow guy, and partially cause of Yusuke (but mostly cause of what we found while exploring) (and also to keep MC from being expelled/arrested again).

Third Dungeon: We are looking for a target, and despite MC/Mona hearing about Kane rumors they keep silent until Makoto blackmails us into it. They want to give up because it’s almost impossible for them to find a lead (even the cops were said to not have any leads, well iirc Sae said they were planning on bringing him down so maybe that wasn’t the case, they understandably lied to the public so they could do their research BUT understandably it’s insane expecting a group of 4 teens and a cat to find a mob boss). But got lucky and decide to take out Kane....until Makoto makes it personal (so the stakes are Mako’s blackmail, the students, and now their assess). I mean Mako peer pressured/bullied them into doing it, but she’s not exactly  “society.”

Fourth Dungeon: Get pulled into a hacker group they never have to face, help Futaba out because they heard/saw her issues (but originally got involved cause of her helping them out of a mess they didn’t want to be in, nor knew that the other group was evil). 

Fifth Dungeon: The actual dungeon where they (Ryuji) start to get a big head and wanting bigger targets. Society demands Oku. Sae’s research shows Oku is connected to the Mental Shutdowns. Team considers it, but refuse because it seems sketch (aka society is acting sketchy). Ryuji and Mona are upset by it. Mona insults Ryuji and runs off. Mona finds Haru. Haru and Mona start messing about. Group finds out what Haru is going through. They decide to go after Oku to save Haru. Later find out that the rumors about Oku were true. Killing two birds with one stone. Group gets screwed later. 

So game.....do....pray tell.....what the FUCK are you talking about? We never got to have an arc were they were getting big headed about popularity, or at least anything meaningful or for the long term. The second we start it, it’s done in the same arc, and it was given a loophole so TECHNICALLY we didn’t even do it 100%, no, not even 90% of the reason that society tricked/forced/made us. Haru being sold off was the reason we decided to act. (it’s really weird how we’re almost “forced” into having to do the dungeons personally, almost as if we can’t just.....want to do them? would it be weird to say it kinda takes agency away from the chars? I dunno I feel like they’d have more agency if they were just like “yeah I want to take this guy down, he seems to fit our MO let’s go”?)

Yes they wanted to be popular before, but it was never the MAIN DRIVNG FORCE that PQ2 is leading us to believe. It was always secondary, and the reason was to get farther down Mementos (ie help Mona, aka get his memories back) not because they wanted fame (they nipped that idea in the bud as soon as we got a chance to consider it). The farthest we get is Ryuji being like “It’s so cool we have fans, and we can’t let them down, I love being so popular” but that’s it, just words. It feels mostly like lip service ngl (all surface level, because P5 is as deep as a drained kiddy pool when it comes to any depth so it’s not surprising).

So what’s this bullshit trying to lie to me and say we went into Oku’s dungeon because of society and not cause of Haru (AND Sae’s research). The game goes out of it’s way to supply a personal vendetta against each target (save Futaba but she’s not really a villain, and technically she’s the one with a personal issue with Medjed OH WHAT A COINKYDINK! Hell, even Kane they made us all “customers” thanks to Mako, and no it’s not just Mako, one scene he’s says it’s all of us, but then they just act like it’s only Makoto cause....I’ve said it before, the game likes to make her whole purpose useless for some random reason despite needing it to happen a certain way to keep the plot going...even tho it marches fine without her). The game also goes out of its way to not completely incriminate the PT as “just mindlessly following society’s demands” (because again, 1) Haru was in trouble, 2) Sae’s research showed he was shady). It’s also a stupid non issue because they can always explore his Palace, if they find he’s ok they can just leave and not bother him. The issue is stealing his treasure....just....dont’ steal his treasure (why is P5 making a mountain out of a mole hill???  just....god...lazy asses).

Sorry just.....the hell? That’s not even a generalization on what happen, that’s just a misleading lie to fit a narrative for this game. You have to lie because you can’t commit and are too wishy washy. 

Ok what was the other lie? The Makoto/Mitsuru Ticket, specifically this line (it was talking about how they became close to their group and stuff):

That.........seriously? *inhales* *exhales* Well here goes my blood pressure.

What. In. The. FUCK?! Is it crack? Is that what you smoke P5/PQ2? Crack?!

“Woah there Silly!” NO! NO SCREW THIS! This is fucking bullshit. I did not sit through the sheer atrocity of writing that is the Kane arc for a “headbutting and misunderstanding” bs line. Warning, I’m gonna get shitty because P5 has shitty morals (and shitty inconsistent writing).

Tell me. What were they headbutting about? What was this “misunderstanding?” Cause none of this was after you joined! So it HAS to have been what happened leading up to the Kane dungeon. Last time I checked, she blackmailed them into doing her dirty work (aka find Kane), work (the students asking her to stop Kane) she wasn’t even obligated to do, work (the students asking her to stop Kane) that is so contrived to be asked of her (by the students) it’s only second to the contrived bullshit task she was given by the principal (finding the PT, which btw, he offers the letter of recommendation and she says “thank you” and doesn’t turn it down but for some reason he has to threaten her sister to have her say “yes”? Bitch she was probably about to say yes why’d you go the extra mile? Was it to make her more sympathetic? Game kinda ruins it when she seems interested in just the letter...which makes Anne’s comments about the letter ironically true-just what is this game and it’s decisions???? why do they keep undercutting Makoto????). 

During this time, when she interacts with us she is a straight up bitch and hits below the belt when she is FULLY AWARE what she is saying is untrue (aka asking Anne why Anne didn’t do anything for Shiho, despite Anne/Shiho/Kamo’s laundry being whipped out front in center at a school assembly, and also not knowing that Anne WAS trying to help Shiho.....Anne just didn’t realize what Shiho was hurting about). After she is asked by Anne about the rumor of Mako if she knew anything (to which Mako gets defensive, hits Anne below the belt, and then we find out that she DID know so her outburst wasn’t of pure “What the hell? You really think I’m like that” to actual deflection because she knew deep down that’s what she did). 

Was that what you were headbutting over? Or was it the fact you BLACKMAILED THEM into a VERY DANGEROUS TASK? Or was it that you chastised them when they didn’t yield results? Cause I really don’t want to hear it from someone with hands that smell like shit because you sat on your thumbs all day while they investigated. OR WAS IT when you DROVE OFF OUR LEAD because you and the game are actually trying to back up how useless and unneeded you are? Odd thing it’s trying to prove but it just loves doing it, especially in dungeon three. Or is it when you have a selfish outburst about being useless (which you already proved 100 fold) and ran off to do something dangerous, which got us pulled in (we should’ve let you burn, but unlike you the PT held better character than you did) because we came to save your stupid ass? Or is it when you finally broke down and gave them a piss poor apology when they finally gave you some shit, some understandable shit, but no we can’t have you focusing on all your failures. Lemme just apologize and move on fast because I don’t want to focus on it! Wah wah! :( 

And what’s the misunderstanding? Was it that Anne was incorrect about you and the principal both knew about the abuse together? Cause, haha, hun, you could’ve just told them the truth then. You knew about it, but you don’t know about the principal knowing (yet!). If that was what you were concerned about, being shitty with another person than just being shitty by yourself, THEN YOU COULD’VE JUST CLEARED THAT UP! :D Oh....was that not the misunderstanding? Oh I’m sorry! It must’ve been when you thought it was ok to let Kamo do what he wanted, and you seemed to be upset that the PT stopped him and stood up for the people you turned your back on. Guess you don’t like it when the abused stand up to their abusers! ....no? That’s not the misunderstanding? Well I’m sorry I’ve seem to run out of things that it could possibly be except those! 

Oh you don’t like those implications Makoto? Well maybe you shouldn’t have phrased it like that. Please don’t tell me you were “Forced to do it” by the principal (ignoring how BS that entire situation is and never should’ve happened) and the PT didn’t know, I’m pretty sure you made it clear you didn’t want to deal with investigating PT stuff the first time you talked to them (which destroys any argument of them not knowing). 

Yes I am driving home she knew about the abuse and didn’t do anything. 1) Why would the writers write that? I know why the reason is followed by the next line said by Anne to absolve Makoto (it’s that it was Kamo’s fault it happened in the first place, but like......it’s still kinda shitty of Makoto to see abuse and look away yet be on a high horse about it, not as bad as Kamo but....the two things can coexist....would’ve been better if the line was something about redeeming herself rather than just absolving her of all wrongdoings). 2) She must’ve known, otherwise the line would be more like “I can’t believe I was so blind!” (cause she was either tricked or was just oblivious, which is fine, but that’s not what they were going for so it’s not how it should be read..... and tbh this is just yet another instance of them undercutting Makoto in this arc, her role is deemed unneeded, that whole letter of recommendation I mentioned above, and then her having a chance at an out of “no I didn’t know” but jk she did know eat shit Mako! I’d think the game hates her but she gets away with so much so it’s like????? Does P5 hate the player-yes they do why am I even asking?), 3) Even if it is to just blame herself, there has to be some truth in it. Anne blames her self for the Shiho thing (we mostly see it expanded on in her CoOp), but she blames herself for being BLIND, not realizing what Shiho was really crying out for (aka Anne misread the situation). But I know this because the game is clear when writing it, you take the writing at face value, yes Mako is blaming herself but there’s some truth to it. She knew enough that if she wanted to she might’ve been able to do something. It’s backed up by her Persona being like “You have finally found your own justice, please don’t lose sight of it again” with Mako then saying (a little while after) “I will not lose heart again, ever.” What is this “again” if she didn’t stray from some gd path then?

And that’s fine, that’s a character flaw, but it’s not a flaw if you just FREAKING ABSOLVE HER OF ALL WRONGDOING! She needs to work for her forgiveness, for her redemption. Not “oh it’s fine” and then beat the bad guy “See still fine!” There’s no struggle, no real growth, it’s just handed to her. THAT’S what’s the real kick in the balls about all that, I have to deal with her shitty self, and finding out stuff was true, and then any character development that could’ve justified having to deal with that is stripped away from me because NOPE WE GOTTA GO FAST! CAN’T LINGER ON ANYTHING TOO LONG OR WE MIGHT TURN TO STONE! It’s the same thing with the Oku and popularity situation. The worst we get is Ryuji getting a little too into it, and wishing he could use the popularity to pick up chicks. We never see the PT actually screwing up because everything went to their head, instead they get an out with Haru in trouble, Oku really being bad, and Sae’s info. They get an out, just like how Mako’s sins got an out. (Btw if I wasn’t clear, I’m fine with the PT actually letting popularity go to their head or Mako being shitty and the game owning it, not like “yeah she’s shitty and she’s here to stay” but like “yeah she’s shitty and she’s gonna learn the error of her ways legit and not via lip service” but that’s not what we got so I’m still here as your resident #1 Makoto hater 8U gosh me saying that even as a joke is probs gonna bite me in the ass, I mean me making that joke about the Futaba shoe thing ticked someone off iirc so eh 8V You may address me as #1 Makoto Hater, if you want to take my title we must do battle in the back of a CVS, I’ll bring the celery sticks for our after fight snack.)

Calling all of the Kane stuff “headbutting” and a “misunderstanding” is egregious lie. I REALLY hate it when, as an audience member, I’m being lied to.

Sigh.....what’s next.....I guess I can knock P5 not being able to carry a feather and the rest of the non-P5 cast being screwed in the same segment. I know P5 can’t carry shit in PQ2 cause I played PQ2. PQ2 is “We’re going to suck P5′s toes and tell it how awesome it is every chance we get, what? We need to weave three game’s themes and give other characters spotlight? How about we just have the other chars every so often tell the PT how cool they are without any real merit while also just kinda repeating the same theme that’s kinda P5ish over and over? Good? Good.” Not good. Tell me, is this Minato or is this a lamp? Because they both provide the same effect to PQ2, background dressing. 

Where’s Minato and Hamuko talking? Where’s that exploration? What about how Minato feels about how lost Hamu feels because she’s separated from her friends? Why doesn’t Aki go full big brother on Hamu like in her route (esp if she reminds him of his sister, which for all we know could be a physical similarity if not personality)? Why doesn’t Mitsuru want to vibe into a big sister role after she gets the deets on Hamu like in canon? Aigis going fully protector mode for both of them to a worrying degree? Why don’t we really get to see Minato reactions to how close she gets to his team? Is he jealous? Confused? WHY DON’T HIM AND HAMU INTERACT MUCH?! 

“Silly this is a crossover game, not a Hamuko game!” WELL MAYBE ATLUS SHOULDN’T FREAKING ADVERTISE THAT “HEY THE TWO P3 MCS ARE GONNA TALK! TO EACH OTHER! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! PLAY THE GAME FOR THAT!” I WAS LIED TO! Like some of this stuff is glossed over (some talking with Minato, not a lot. I think there was a convo with Aigis about this but.......it didn’t leave much of an impact).

I just hate how every role that could’ve been filled by a P3/4 person was robbed (HA! PUN! look at my puns, look at the monkey doing a wittle dance for your enjoyment! ;w;) by a P5 person. It’s called PQ2, not P5Q2!

Like, why was Futaba on the ground during the 3rd dungeon? 1) She already had A TON of freaking screen time in P5, A TON! She doesn’t need more. Please, I beg of you, give it to Haru, she literally got screwed out of a dungeon in PQ2 just give it to Haru. Give her screen time, maybe not dungeon 3 but GIVE HER SCREEN TIME OH MY GOD!

2) Why is it she goes there when it should be Fuuka. No really, a) Fuuka needs more screen time (she was one of the P3 chars I felt got pushed aside), b) we’ve established that Futaba is the software person while Fuuka is hardware (and maybe software?), c) it’d be great foreshadowing to her learning how to poke around robots by the time The Answer comes around! d) it’s A P3 DUNGEON LET FUUKA GO!

And no “oh it’s dangerous” Fuuka’s Persona is a literal shield! It can take hits from Shadow Bosses! SHE SHOULD’VE GONE! NOT THE POS GREMLIN! I already have to deal with Futaba taking up Hikari bonding screen time. Give it to Hamu! To anyone else! I don’t give a shit if she’s a hikkikamori! We’re past that now, stop it. You were “cured” I saw the BS speed run in friendship. 

Why didn’t Fuuka, Kanji, and Rise get screen time during Dungeon 4 when the bullying was happening? All three were bullied. Fuuka’s was an arc. It’s why Kanji went delinquent. And iirc Rise was bullied before becoming an idol (mentioned in passing iirc). Shit, Kanji deviated from the norm with his hobbies and dreams, that’s literally a big plot point for Hikari, HAVE THEM BOND! If Kanji is going to talk, talk with Hikari. Give me that connection! AHHHHH!

There’s also Goro, just.....the game trying to make it “Oh sad boi, doesn’t want to go back! :(” Fuck off. Just fuck off. This kid has proven via shooting Joker and outright stating he hates the P5MC in his CoOp that he doesn’t care. He just feels wishy washy at best, and toxic and someone you should get away from asap at worst. Quit with this uwu sad boi, have him own being a killer. I hope he burns in the inevitable P3/4/5 face off where P3/4 kids are like “the hell? no you suck! you horrible criminal.” I’m sick of the games taking away the weight of his sins and agency of his actions to try to get him to seem sympathetic. It’s not simpático for me. 

I also do not vibe with the fact the PT kids don’t really show any wariness toward him. Like this is the timeframe they are suspecting him (if they had any brains tho then they were suspecting him well before). But then again the PT lack all common sense so I can see them being just swell hanging out with a serial killer hitman and not caring about what they talk about~! That or they’re all super two face, if that’s the case maybe Goro does fit right in. 

I really hate how PQ2 kind of nudges those types of topics, like Goro being on the outside of the group but doesn’t have the god damn balls to follow through. Unlike PQ1 where we literally have Ken working out his emotions about maybe not committing to his revenge, or Yukari finally calling out her senpais closed off behavior and how she feels SEES isn’t as close as the IT. At least PQ1 doesn’t kneecap itselt like PQ2 does. >.>

It’s 3 am, I’m ending it here. I got most of my steam out. 

[toutallyahoe]

Also, because I feel things are gonna go south with the gang. Give me any and all gang-family headcanons. Also pls headcanons for when the gang was like three people, a raccoon and a horse. Aka when Arthur was a child, just adopted by everyone's dads, Hosea and Dutch. I may use these headcanons for a thing that I'm writing while procrastinating on dying from canon angst. Is that too many hc requests? Idk Love you, bean

"I feel things are going to go south with the gang" oh... oh you precious, precious darling... :') but asdfghjkll FAMILY HEADCANONS YOU SAY?!? AIGHT THEN BUCKLE THE FUCK UP BECAUSE I HAVE SOME ASDFGHJJKL

also, bean, there is no such thing as "too many hc request" for ya :'3 i would literally write a whole goddamn book for you if you ask me too so asdfghjkkllncc

⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃

• when the Van Der Linde gang was still small, only members was Hosea Matthews, Dutch Van Der Linde and the newest addition, Arthur Morgan, it was... a ride

• a very bumpy and rickety ride that is

• both older men didn't know what to really do but they tried

• they absolutely tried

• they were no innocent men

• no. they were outlaws

• dangerous people

• they saw the world in cruel ways

• so, they taught the youngest how to survive the cruel world

• Hosea taught Arthur reading and writing obviously

• Hosea was patient to Arthur with every step of the way in teaching the teen

• Arthur was kinda a fast learner

• was willing to please his new father figure so he was good on reading and writing

• would ask help when he doesnt know how to pronounce some more fancy words

• but he did good

• Hosea was proud

• Dutch was the one who taught Arthur how to be cunning and how to shoot properly

• Dutch was a man known by his charisma and charms

• taught Arthur how to try and defuse a situation or sweet talk their way out

• Arthur doesn't use that much though

• sweet talking or defusing the way out

• Arthur preferred to shoot his was out

• but back to this family stuff

• they were like a family

• a very weird and also very fucking dangerous family

• they were outlaws afterall

• btw, Arthur was rowdy when he was young

• like

• very rowdy

• he was stubborn and hotheaded

• didn't use his brain much as he acted rash and indecisive

• he was also loud

• very fucking loud

• got into troubles because he couldn't kept his mouth shut

• Hosea is so done

• especially when Dutch gives encouragement to Arthur with that

• help him

• he wants to either shoot himself or both Dutch and Arthur for being chaotic dumbasses

• but back to the family dynamic shit

• should I add [Name]?

• whatever, imma add [Name]

• [Name] was taken after three or fours years after Arthur

• so Arthur was now seventeen/eighteen while [Name] was sixteen when he joined

• should I add that [Name] probably tried to steal something off from Dutch?

• because yeah, boi tried to steal from Dutch and Dutch is like "this kid... LET'S ADOPT HIM HOSEA!"

• so they did

• the family grew to four and they were happy

• [Name] and Arthur did not like each other that much for awhile

• probably because [Name] kinda beat Arthur when he was chased when he tried to steal Dutch' satchel and Arthur chased him

• got Arthur some nice bruises like he did aswell

• so yeah

• their first impression of each other wasn't good

• but they warm up though

• Hosea and Dutch were happy to see their adopted sons being close now

• they also kinda regretted it though

• [Name] and Arthur now got into trouble TOGETHER

• chaos

• absolute chaos

• Hosea and Dutch adopted demon childrens I tell ya

• DEMON CHILDRENS ASDFGHJJK

• but legit though, they are happy family

• then came John Marston

• twelve year old boi getting into trouble and Dutch saving his greasy ass

• Arthur was already around his early twenties or so

• and [Name] was eighteen

• they took John is and had taught John what they learned from Hosea and Dutch

• Arthur and [Name] had to be very fucking patient for this greasy trash raccoon looking ass bitch when teaching how to read and write

• "but it ain't even inportant! what am I gonna do? read them to death?"

• boi

• Arthur wanted to slap this boi

• [Name] was understanding though as he tried to reason out to John

• "what if ya get lost and have a map? how would ya know where ya are when ya dont know how to read?"

• that shut John up

• but the twelve years old was still a whiny bitch

• Hosea and Dutch enjoy watching their adopted gremlin children know what they had been through to teach them how to read and write

• but anyways, here's some nice headcanons for ya

• Arthur and [Name] tease John a fucking lot

• it is the big brother asshole duty of theirs

• like, the three were told by Hosea to take a bath in a lake and both Arthur and [Name] make fun of John for not knowing how to swim

• like

• a lot

• John cried the first time

• and a few more

• [Name] panicked because FUCK DONT CRY ASDFGHJKCBXNWODJ

• Arthur laughs

• he doesnt continue laughing though when he and [Name] got disapproving looks from their father figures

• lesson learned: dont tease John

• well, dont tease John too much that he cries and rats you out to Hosea and Dutch that is

• but yesssss

• also, when there are fights? it is chaos

• the "HE DID" "BULLSHIT" type

• like, these three boahs wont tell the truth unless they dont get punished for it

• so like

• when chaos comes, it is pointing fingers on who was the reason for the mess

• "ARTHUR DID IT!"

• "LIKE HELL I WILL YA SHIT!"

• "MARSTON THReW THAT MOLOTOV!"

• "FUCK YOU [LAST NAME]!"

• "BITCH"

• "JERK"

• "DIPSHIT"

• Hosea cries

• why was his sons so fucking chaotic dumbasses?

• Dutch

• Dutch

• help me parent them

• "I HAVE A PLAN!"

• "THE FUCK YOU HAVE"

• god its chaos

• but a chaos in a good kind that these dumbasses knew will work out in the end

• btw, Dutch taught Arthur to draw a bit but Arthur learned much more by practicing

• John learned how to shoot a gun because of Arthur and [Name]

• Hosea was the only decent cook at the five

• Dutch and Hosea often disagree but it works out in the end #marriedcoupleamirite

• Arthur and [Name] enjoys to spend time with their little greasy raccoon brother (even if they dont say ir show as such)

• they tried to have John a normal childhood as much as they can

• but John being John

• he wanted to prove himself and that he is cut out with the outlaw life

• there were fights with the three that John was too young for it

• Arthur disagree about John trying to be an outlaw

• "YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE OF A NORMAL LIFE!"

• John disagrees a lot

• "LOOK AROUND YA?!? I AINT GOIN TO HAVE THAT NORMAL LIFE!"

• [Name] is torn. he wanted John to have a normal life but he also knew that John wont accept it and that it is more better that John sticks with the group than leave on his own

• those fights were the worse

• it makes the three boys tenses

• [Name] tries to be the bridge for the two to talk again though

• such a good middle brother :'D

• but yeah

• after awhile, they all ease up and calmly talk it out... kinda

• an agreement that John doesnt go looking for trouble and that his two older brothers are always there for him

• asdfghjkkcbndowurhr god i love the family dynamic

• but anyways, yeeeeeeee

• they are a good family

[rockstar-its-real-cute]

BBDISCORD @ 10 PM EST - 9/8/2020

I’m hosting my very first game tonight!  It’s a 2-3 hours game of big brother hosted in a discord chat room. For more information about it, you can check @knightjackie​’s well-explained information here.

For this season, the theme is called twists n turns, so buckle up bitches. It is going to be a bumpy ride. 

To sign up, just DM me your BBCAN/BBUS choice and your pronoun. 

If you have any questions, just DM me 

1. Da'Vonne Rogers (BB17/18/22) 2. Demetres Giannitsos (BBCAN5) 3. Jee Choe (BB4) 4. Rachel Reilly (BB12/BB13) 5. Ika Wong (BBCAN2 / BBCAN5) 6. Karen Singbeil (BBCAN5) 7. Janelle Pierzina (BB6/7/14/22) 8. Britney Haynes (BB12/BB14) 9. Kaysar Ridha (BB6/7/22) 10. Cassandra Shahinfar (BBCAN4/5) 11. Maki Moto (BBCAN7) 12. Natalie Negrotti (BB18) 13. Jen Johnson (BB8) 14. Ariadna Gutierrez (CBBUS1) 15.

[katesmemes]

feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!

“It’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.”

“Why am I alive when everyone around me has turned into meat?”

“Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio.”

“Don’t let them catch you with your pants down.”

“Fasten your seat belts -- it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!”

“I may seem like an unlikely survivor with all of my phobias and irritable-bowel syndrome, but I had the advantage of never having any friends or close family.”

“I survive because I play it safe and follow the rules.”

“I avoided other people like they were zombies even before they were zombies.”

“Now that they are all zombies, I kinda miss people.”

“No names; keeps us from getting too familiar.”

“So, [Name], you wanna stick together? ‘Least for a little while?”

“I’m not easy to get along with, and I’m sensing you’re a bit of a bitch, so, uh...so, I give this relationship to about Texarkana.”

“You’re a peppy little spit-fuck, aren’t you?”

“You might wanna buckle up, y’know, for, uh, safety.”

“I can tell already you are gonna get on my nerves.”

“What’re we doing here?”

“Well, take a look -- it’s a goddamn Hostess truck.”

“I could use a Twinkie.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

“Where’s the fuckin’ Twinkies?!”

“I hate coconut -- not the taste, the consistency.”

“Hey, this may be a bad time, but I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl.”

“I have a case of chronic anxiety.”

“My whole life, all I’d ever wanted was to find a girl, and fall in love, bring her back to meet the folks...”

“I’m here for you, okay?”

“Do you mind if I just close my eyes for a minute?”

“Oh my god, I am so fucking sorry!”

“The first time I let a girl into my life and she tries to eat me.”

“You’re like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of year.”

“You wanna feel how hard I can punch?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“You’re gonna risk our lives for a Twinkie?”

“Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date.”

“Someday very soon, life’s little Twinkie gage is gonna go empty.”

“Time to nut up or shut up.”

“You got a pretty mouth.”

“Someone’s ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it.”

“Rule number twenty-two: When in doubt, know your way out.”

“Try not to freak her out.”

“So you did all this for a Twinkie?”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”

“You need some help?”

“Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else’s story?”

“I never had headaches like this until your ass came on board.”

“Is it better to be smart or lucky?”

“Thank god for rednecks!”

“Gotta enjoy the little things.”

“You’re not gonna shoot them, are you?”

“Just drive slow and keep your eyes peeled.”

“How about we play the quiet game?”

“I hope you find whoever it is you’re looking for.”

“You don’t know who Willie Nelson is?”

“She’s only famous when she’s Hannah Montana -- when she’s wearing the wig.”

“You’re about to learn who you gonna call... it’s ghostbusters.”

“Is that how you say ‘hello’ where you come from?”

“I haven’t cried like that since Titanic.”

“Don’t make me drink alone.”

“I don’t even know your name, but this is actually really nice.”

“You know, between me and you and ‘What About Bob’ -- you’re actually pretty cute.”

“I mean, you got the guts of a guppy, but I could hit that.”

“Hey, a little help moving the couch?”

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

“You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.”

“I can’t believe I almost kissed him.”

“Trust no one, just you and me.”

“This is the problem with getting attached to someone: when they leave you, you just feel lost.”

“Hey, you weren’t exactly gonna score, anyway.”

“Look, you ever read that book, ‘She’s Just Not That Into You’?”

“You can’t make yourself too available.”

“I’m not great at farewells, so... ‘That’ll do, Pig’.”

“That’s the worst goodbye I’ve ever heard, and you stole it from a movie.”

“Not as fun as I remember...”

“My mama always told me someday I’d be good at something. Who’d of guessed that something would be zombie killing?”

“We better start working on our apology.”

“Some rules are made to be broken.”

“Not bad for that scrawny little spit-fuck.”

“Without other people, well, you might as well be a zombie.”

[greenbowlerhat]

Nay

Word count: 630

T/W: Cursing, I believe that's it actually!

Author's note! I'm going to go ahead and start off with an apology, I'm sorry this took so damn long for me to get out. Its part three of a series which I'll get around to linking the other parts of here eventually. Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride. Please keep hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Enjoy your ride on Dustin's questionable and moderately funny writing and the rest of your day here on Tumblr!

-

"Are you feeling any better?" Logan asked Patton for what most have been the 100th time.

"Honey, relax! I'll be out of here soon enough, and they already pretty much patched me up!"

"Alright…"

A rap on the door.

Logan meaningfully walked over to it with a smile briefly crossing his face. "Oh good, that must be the doctor."

Instead, he was greeted my Roman, staring at his feet. He was holding a bundle of flowers. He glanced up at them and shoved them out at Logan. "For Patton. Enjoy."

"Thanks, asshole." Logan slammed the door in Roman's face. Well, almost. There was a foot stuck in it.

"Hi to Patton? Can I, uh, say hi to Patton?" Roman struggled to get out, knowing that Logan was mad at him.

"No." Once again, the door slammed.

"Thanks asshole, no, blah blah, bitch bitch, I'm Logan, im so cool," Roman mocked. "Suck my juicy butthole, Mr. Logic Man."

-

"Virgil! Virgil! Where are you? Virgil! Come out!" He heard a rustling in the woods, probably a rabbit. "Virgil? Hold on, my love, I'm coming!" He sprinted off into the darkness.

It had been hours. He was exhausted. He was worried. He was getting kinda hangry. His feet hurt. He couldn't think. His throat was screaming at him to stop calling out, but he couldnt. Not yet. "Virgil… I know you're around here somewhere… please come out…"

"I'm gay," a shaky voice choked out from behind him.

He turned around in disbelief. "Is that so? I really hope you are, or I think I'm really confused about this relationship."

"It was a joke, idiot. You said come out, so I-" he felt Roman's warm and comforting arms envelope him in a tight hug. "Hey there, buddy. I missed you even though I only ran away for a few hours."

"I missed you too."

And they stayed like that, holding each other in the middle of the forest, for the better part of a half hour. The only noise other than crickets they heard was the occasional sniffle or what could have been a little sob. At least one of them, though, had started crying. Maybe both. But when they finally left that spot in pursuit of the hospital yet again, there was a wet spot on each of their shoulders.

"I love you, asshole."

"I love you too, bitch."

-

Another rap on the door. Logan stuck his head up and nearly threw his book. "Roman?"

Virgil poked his head in the door. "Alas, no. Can I come in?" He was holding the same arrangement of flowers that Roman was earlier.

Logan sighed. "I suppose."

When Patton heard Virgil's voice, his face lit up. "Hi kiddo! How's your head feeling? Any better?"

He couldnt hide the fact that seeing Patton filled him with a sense of immense comfort and happiness. He rubbed the sore spot from where he hit the pavement. "I guess. What about you? How's your… injury?"

"I can barely even feel it anymore!"

They continued chatting as Roman barged in, grabbing Logan my the arm and dragging him into the hallway. "I need to talk to you."

The second the door closed, Patton hopped out of bed. "Kiddo, I need your advice."

"Sure, what is-" he covered his eyes, even further smearing his eyeshadow. "Gosh, dude, tie your gown!"

"Sorry." He bent back over and continued rifling through the pile of his clothes on the floor. He eventually emerged with a small black box. He opened it up to Virgil, revealing a simple ring with a small pink stone in it. "Should I propose to Logan? Yay or nay?"

Virgil stared at his friend, dumbfounded. "Uh… uh…"

Patton grinned in that way that he does. "Now I'm not hearing a nay."