HARTBREAK STUDIES.
You can also find them on the cara app along with other "normal" stuff I post! I never show this kind of art here, but I really wanted to share them since the following on that new art site is very small. I love them so much.
*please do not use or post anywhere else, thank you!
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"I often wonder if my diagnosis makes sense. Female to male transsexual is not a very good description of what is going on. It's too neat, too chronological. Too trapped between two states, man and woman. I find neither of these possible or desirable. I need the diagnosis for the surgery but I question the link between the two. I refuse the social construct of gender and desire a flat chest. I am forced to advocate that which is arbitrary and false. If I were to diagnose myself, I often think essay would be the better term. I am a piece of writing that I want to look and sound a certain way. I have this deep impulse to sculpt and shape my body. I think of the surgeon's scalpel like the squat nib of a fountain pen, marking up and crossing out. When I write, I am trying to say something true about the world. I am trying to polish language until it vanishes, becomes a window. I am not writing for the sake of writing, I am writing to bring the world into being. Living seems to be much the same process; I am not living for the sake of living, I live in order to carve, and sculpt and incise, wax/buff/burnish, weather/age/distill myself. To do this until I am a walking transparency, making the whole world visible. And people say I am an idiot for doing this, for carving up my body. I have two long scars where my breasts have been. Two dry rivers or else a tightrope with a gap. Maybe they agree with me about the fallacious sculpting of the fallen branch. Maybe the art was done when two fatty protrusions emerged, hanging from my sternum. Maybe nothing will be as masterfully mound as the glands I excised. Nothing as masterful as my big, fat areolas, my moving, hanging milk-works. If the artist is wrong-headed, then so am I."
— Jay Bernard, 'Idiot', 2021 Edinburgh International Festival
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Do you lie awake at night thinking about how the three lithographs that hang in terror’s ward room are prominently featured in frames where crozier is in them. And are various depictions of women with more mercurial and typically unfeminine traits or are you normal
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Came to me in a dream: trans Hidan
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Okay, but what happened to the concept of two men being best friends & platonic soulmates, willing to sacrifice their career or their own happiness or even their life for the sake of the other? Out of strong loyalty and the kind of love the Ancient Greeks termed philia (as in Philidelphia, the City of Brotherly Love). I've experienced that kind of love with several female best friends (at different stages in my life) - and at no point did either of us yearn for some kind of sexual relationship.
Is online culture telling me that males are incapable of the same, by interpreting male friendships in media (including in well-known pieces of literature) as 'of course they want to have sex with each other!'? I can't accept that premise. My own brother has been best friends with the same dude for 25 years (since first grade) and they refer to themselves as 'brothers from another mother'. I'm not anti slash ship or real world m/m romantic love, but sometimes...sometimes I just get so tired being told 'OF COURSE THEY'RE DOING IT!!!'.
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some people only know how to draw men as twinks and it shows. if i see ghost drawn as a pretty boy twink one more time i’m going to go feral. that is big thigh erasure. that is a solid muscle man with thick thighs, thick arms, a solid waist, and you cannot forget the tiddies.
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