#btw when i say 'not a good quote' i mean the short version. not the actual version

[goldieclaws]

Not to sound like someone who thinks 'blood is thicker than water' is a good quote, but the fact it turns out Jormungandr is not Atreus/Loki's son and just a random ass giant Atreus and Kratos have no connection to completely takes any emotional impact it had when Atreus called for Jormungandr's aid in the Baldur fight, and the fact the giant in question can't even be asked to thank Atreus and Angrboda for the new body doesn't help imo.

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Mini Series

E N H Y P E N as Greek Myths

NARCISSUS & ECHO

pairings: kim sunoo x reader

synopsis: you’ve always been love struck with kim sunoo’s beauty. your love for him is undying and once said, its like echo that kept on repeating and repeating. what happens when finally, you caught his attention? this time in a good way.

word count: 10k

important note: i originally planned to write enhypen as greek gods but then i didn’t find some love stories that i like so i end up using some love stories that aren’t greek gods. also these are like modern versions of greek mythology love stories.

warnings: grammar errors, not proof read, very rude kim sunoo, curses and foul words, angst. let me know if i missed some!

note📎: inspired by a walk to remember movie. if you haven’t watched that yet, check it out! i hope you guys liked it! it really means a lot to me whenever you let me know what you think about them, re-blogs and comments are well appreciated. btw, i love you guys and thank you for supporting me up until now. have a nice day/night! 🤍

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @crjwon @love13tter @classicroyalty @angel-hybrid @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @hime98 @moonsclover @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamyenskz @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @kimmchijjajang @hoonbrry @axartia @all4haru @hiqhkey @sta-rie @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @edensgardenn @nikililmj @ayayiiie @moonlightisland @simpforniki

© 2023 eeunoia — all rights reserved.

"Good morning students of Hybe University. This is the president of your Radio club wishing you a wonderful day. And for that I have a short message for everyone." you have a small smile over your lips as you read those lines for the morning message for the students. It was a project of the audio-visual club to have this messages at morning to spread good vibes.

"Quote of the day, 'Love the person inside you.'" after you utter those words, one of the club members then played a short sound as an effect.

You are the president of this club and was voted to be the voice behind it. The first time it was announced to you still lingers over your head. It was a memorable one. You feel really honored.

"And to end this, I want to leave a special message for our sunshine Kim Sunoo," a bigger and warmer smile appears over your lips after saying his name.

A lot of students, if not everyone yet, knows how head over heels you are to the campus crush. Of course, a lot of students admires him and the line is just up to the mount everest. So you do these routine in order to somehow cut in that line. Work smarter, not harder, that's what they say.

"Remember to smile!" you said hoping that short message do remind him to smile like how thinking of him makes you smile.

‘✓ Give short messages for Sunoo.’

You had this list you made that consist of things you wanted to do. There’s a lot of them and most of it involves Kim Sunoo. You’ve read somewhere that having this lists can help you feel more motivated in life. To have things to look forward for.

The session got wrapped up like how it always do. You complimented your team for doing such an amazing job for assisting you and they did the same thing back to you. As you all walk back to your own classes, you try to roam your eyes around to look for someone.

Your eyes found him too easily as he have this different aura from anybody else. It was too easy for you to tell that it was him even if he's not facing. Just by looking at his hair, the way he stands, his broad shoulders and good body proportions. Not to mention the eyes of the students around glued at him completely. Some people who passes by even greets him just to catch his attention even just for a while.

"Hi Sunoo!" your tone sounded too energetic. He glanced at you and his eyes were emotionless as always. His stare didn't even last for a long time and it teared off of you then back to his friend who greeted you back.

You gave him a wave and focused on Sunoo once again. He's back on getting his morning books from his locker to prepare for class.

You trapped your lower lip over your teeth and hesitated whether to talk again or not. In the end, you decided to try and bother him once again.

"How was your sleep last night?" you asked and even rested over the lockers to get a grip over his stare.

"Terrible."

'He responded!' you almost scream in joy. It was just one word and he was definitely pissed, but who cares? The fact that he responded to you is already a progress.

You cannot hide your smile. "Why? What happened? Do you need anything?" you said continuously, questions followed by another questions.

He lets out a strained sigh before facing you. His cold eyes intimidated you, but you kept your stand. He was always like this and you're already used to it.

"Do you want me to get you anyth-"

"I want you to fuck off." his rude remark made your smile fade. You can feel your eyes starting to water and your mind slowly floating out of embarrassment. Eyes of students around that heard what he said watched you with shame and pity.

Jungwon, Sunoo's friend, quickly grabbed him over his shoulder to calm him down. "Hey, don't be rude." you heard him whispered over his friend.

Sunoo shrugged his hold off while keeping his cold stares right at you. He rolled his eyes and then started walking off. Jungwon tries to call him, but as expected he didn't listen. He turned over you and smiled apologetically.

You quickly flashed him a soft smile despite the tears forming at the side of your eyes.

"I'm sorry about him, Y/n. Seems like he woke up in the wrong side of the bed." he said.

You gave him a nod, "No problem! I'm at fault to for being too pushy. I should've gave him space after he said that he slept terrible."

Jungwon smiled a little, "No, he still have no reason to be that rude." he draws in a sigh, "Anyway, see you at class." and he waved before he exits himself.

You waved and your smile slowly faded after he started to walk away. The words Sunoo said kept lingering over your brain. He's always rude to you, yes. But he seems to be get more rude as days passes by.

Your friend arrived minutes after and you both walked towards your class without her knowing what happened. You decided not to tell her to avoid any more commotion. Your friend is a little troublemaker and she hates it whenever you're getting bad treatment from anybody. She will mess with them with no hesitation.

When you entered the room, your eyes darted automatically at Sunoo's chair. He have this serious face while girls from your class surrounds him. They were giving him some things they probably prepared for him. He seemed uninterested and just trying to kept his cool.

"Ooh, Mr. Popular is surrounded by hyenas again." your friend commented and even pointed his direction. You put her hand down and shush her.

"What? You won't go and join?" she teased. If only she knows what happened a while ago, she's probably storming over Sunoo to start a fight without and not like this. But you guess this is better than having her fight with Sunoo.

"Kim Sunoo really do look like an angel, right?" your stares remained at the said boy while waiting for what's your friend is going to say.

She scoffed lightly and took another sip from her juicebox before talking. "Angel with evil inside?" she says.

Your smile faded at her remark and slowly turns your head at the side to face her. She doesn't seem bothered by your glaring eyes and just kept this innocent looking face like as if she didn't just bad mouth the love of your life.

"He doesn't have evil in him!" you defended the poor, innocent kim sunoo.

She gave you this unamused look, "Come on! He's so rude to anyone and you know that." she puff out a sigh then looked back at him. "Having a face like that is not an excuse on having a foul attitude. I don't even know why you like him, Y/n."

You pouted and rested your chin at the back of your hand then resumed on admiring him from afar. The view from the third floor sure is perfect for you to watch him play soccer without getting noticed or mistaken as a creep. It's p.e and you are excused due to medical issues. Your friend here gave an excuse that she's having terrible menstrual cramps just so she can skip it and be with you. Best best friend in the world, everyone.

"I wish he can notice me." you mumble, eyes not leaving Sunoo. He's to busy focusing on that stupid ball that you bet he doesn't have time to give care to those girls gawking at him.

He's indeed if not the most then one of the most popular guy here in your campus. He came from a good family, like the having multiple businesses and living in a big mansion type of good family. He's also pretty talented and active on school activities. Smart and to top it all up, he's drop dead gorgeous. No words could make a justice on how he looks good. Some people even says God really took his time on making him. You will surely agree. He's so perfect for you. Only, he's not that friendly and like what your friend already said, he's a little evil.

"What do you mean you wish? He does notice you, y/n. He already rejected you for.." she raised her hand and started counting with her fingers. You rolled your eyes and swat it away to stop her.

She chuckles, "..so many times! Just enough with him."

As obvious as it was, your friend is really not that supportive of your undying love for Sunoo. Ever since you made her aware of this feelings, she's already against it. Insisting that he will cause you nothing but pain. So far, you must say she's right. He's been so rude to you.

But your mother didn't raise a quitter! You will keep on trying and trying. After all, life is short. You just have to live it how you want it. Live it the best way you can.

After the p.e class, your classmates storms inside. They all looked exhausted and freshly showered. You pulled your warm smile when you see Sunoo walks inside beside Jungwon. His friend was busy talking about something while he's attentively listening.

Without wasting any time, you marched towards him while holding a water and gatorade just incase he wanted something with flavor. The class gave no care for your approach to the said boy as they were probably used to it. This isn't the first time you'll be doing this and honestly, it still make you nervous.

"Hi Sunoo! How's p.e?" you say full of energy.

Both of them snaps their head at your direction. Jungwon kept his smile and waved at you while the other one shows no expression over his face.

"Uhm, water or gatorade?" you asked and even raise both of your hands to show him the things you prepared for him.

Jungwon looked at Sunoo awkwardly then back at you. He didn't respond right away, but later on lets out a sigh before rolling his eyes.

"I already had water." he coldly said then walked away from where you are. He even slightly bumped over your shoulder.

You got stoned from your position and your shoulder fell together with both of your hands. You looked over your shoulder and saw him heading straight to his chair.

"Sorry about him, y/n. You know he's always grumpy after p.e class." he's giving you this apologetic smile for you.

You shake your head to let him know that its totally fine. You raised your hand and offered him the drinks instead. His eyes grew and shine after what you said then accepts the gatorade. He said thank you before you head towards your seat.

"What? You like Jungwon now?" your head snaps towards your friend when she asked that.

You frowned at her.

"No! Sunoo already had water so I offered him the drink."

She scoffed, "Why don't you go for Jungwon instead? He's nicer and looks so cute!"

You raised a brow at her, "(friend's name), you can't dictate what the heart wants."

She showed this disgusted face and roamed her eyes all over you.

"Wow. That's disgusting."

You draw another sigh and settle the bottle of water just beside your table. The next class pretty much started a few minutes after. It somehow made you occupied. Honestly, you aren't the studious type, but since Sunoo is so smart and always part of the honor students, you don't want to be left out. You try to study as hard as you can. Hard work sure pays you off since you aren't at the top of the class.

"Sunoo! Are you going to eat at the cafeteria today?" right after the bell rang, you quickly went to approach him.

He didn't glance at you, but you heard him let out a strained sigh. He fixed his notebooks neatly, "I always eat there, you don't even have to ask that every time." he answered with full sarcasm.

You pursed your lips and fidgets with your fingers. You felt embarrassed and hurt with the way he respond to you, but you try hard to shove it away. Pulling another warm smile, you nodded your head.

You saw a slight glint of amusement over his eyes. It vanished right away, but you saw it.

"O-Okay. Eat well, Sunoo!" his stares remained at you for a while before he tears it off from you.

He left the room without saying anything to you again. Your eyes followed him silently and you felt a presence behind you.

"You know what? I wish he choke on his food-"

"(friend's name)!" you shouts her name. She quickly raised both of her hands then lets out chuckles.

"Just kidding! Let's go eat already." she threw her arms over your shoulder then leads you back to the garden at the rooftop.

It was decorated by your batch and you are confused why no one spends time here. It's cool up there, have the best view of the school field and also peaceful. So in order to give justice in the beautiful place, you and your friend usually spends your breaktimes and vacants there.

"How was your check up last saturday?" your friend asked after you both open your lunch boxes.

Your eyes dropped to your food and unconsciously start to play with it. Her eyes remained at you and watches you carefully.

"Y/n..."

You puff a small sigh then smile at her. "Its still the same, (friend's name). I don't get why you guys still hope that something will change. We just need to accept it." you can feel the air slowly being stripped away from your lungs.

You hate talking about this thing as it always kills the mood. It makes your chest tightening as you saw sadness flickering through her eyes. You understand how she feels and all the people close to you. But these things aren't something you can control.

You sighed and lets go of your utensil to reach over her hand. You gave her a small squeeze then smiled at her assuringly.

"Please, let's just accept it and let me live the rest of my life happily. I don't want you guys sad, please." she gulps and the corner of her eyes started to water.

She closed her eyes and tears started streaming down her face.

"I just.." she says, "..don't understand why it has to be you. You're too kind and perfect. Why... you?"

You pursed your lips then reached over her face to cup it, "Everything happens for a reason."

"Whatever that reason is, its unexpected."

You chuckled and tears streams down your eyes as well. "Let's stop crying and just eat."

She sniffs and wiped off the tears a little aggressive. "You're the only one who made me cry." she mumbles before starting to eat her food.

You chuckles, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Do you want to walk together?" you approached Sunoo's table after dismissal.

‘— Walk home with Kim Sunoo.’

This is honestly one of the hardest things written at your list. Not just because Sunoo doesn’t like you, but also because its impossible for him to walk with people other than his friends.

He was putting his things inside his bag before he glanced at you, eyes emotionless. He seemed unbothered and bothered at the same time by your presence.

"No." he coldly rejected you.

You pursed your lips. "Why?"

"Why do you have a lot of questions?" he started to sound pissed.

"I just want to walk with you." and you lower your head.

He stood up towering in front of you then smoothly hangs his bag over his shoulder. You raised your head to look at his pretty face. The corner of his lips slowly lifts, "Well I don't." his response make you feel like someone prickled your heart using a needle.

"Sunoo! Let's go?" his eyes shifted over to the person behind you. Probably one of his friends. He nodded his head and started going to that person without even glancing at you.

Your eyes silently follows him like old times until he totally disappears from your sight. The only thing that snapped you back to reality was when an arm suddenly rest over your shoulder. When you twist your head to look at the person, it was your friend.

“If he doesn’t want to walk with you, then I will!” she says, her tone sound a little pissed but you’re just glad she didn’t caused a scene. She must have been watching from a far.

You two then headed home, starting to chat about random things. It was always like this with her. Just pure fun and all. Whenever you’re with her, you don’t have to worry too much or feel awkward because she treats you differently. This is what you want. For everyone to act normal and not weird around you.

When you arrived at your street, your laugh slowly faded along with your smile when you saw a familiar built. He isn’t alone. A girl is smiling brightly while walking beside him. He still have this serious face, but it seems like he’s listening to her.

Your friend notice the sudden change on your mood and quickly followed your line of sight. She rolled her eyes and scoffed before gently grabbing your arm to pull you towards a different direction.

“Hey, calm down.” she says in a soft voice and handed you a water.

Your mind was still full with the memory of Sunoo and that girl. To some, it may seem like its just normal. But for you, its already a big deal. Sunoo isn’t the type of person who walks home together with someone other than his friends. He isn’t that friendly.

So to see him with her right after rejecting you really made you upset. Your friend sighs and taps your shoulder. “Don’t overthink it, y/n! I’m she forced him or something! Did you see his face? It was obvious that he didn’t like it.” she tries to comfort you.

A pout appears over your lips as your eyes slowly trails towards her. “At least she managed to walk with him.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “So? There’s always tomorrow! We have a lot of days left for school so don’t get down over it. Hmm?” she hummed and tried to encourage you.

A small smile slowly creeped over your lips. You are very thankful that you have her. Yes there are times she obviously shows how she disagrees with your craziness over Sunoo, but she still tries to be supportive whenever you need it.

You two walked towards your home after you finally calmed down. Thankfully, she managed to divert your attention towards something else. It didn’t spoil your whole evening.

The next day, you went early to school like usual and went straight towards the audio-visual room to prepare for your morning broadcast. You pull the paper containing your speech then you added your daily quotes and your message for Kim Sunoo.

When the clock strikes 8 am, you started the broadcast with some reminders for school activities and ended it with a short quote.

“And to our sunshine, Kim Sunoo. You’re four days away from your quizbee. Keep going and I know you can do it!” a small spread over your face after you finished your short message.

You wrapped it up and told everyone that they did a good job before you exits the club room to head over the lockers area. A lot of students are scattered around the hallways, but it was easy to spot Sunoo. You don’t have any idea how you can manage to do that all the time. Maybe it was a skill you developed for always looking for him.

“Hi Sunoo!” you greeted full of energy and with your bright smile. You act like as if you didn’t saw him with that girl yesterday and proceed on greeting him.

He didn’t spared you a glance, but you heard him letting out a strained sigh while continuing getting something from his locker. You shrugged it off and kept your smile.

You remembered the cookies you baked last night for him.

“Sunoo, please accept my—”

“Didn’t I rejected you already? Get lost.” your hand was stopped midway when he once again turned you down. It wasn’t something new, but his words still sting like a bee.

A small smile made it your lips, chest tightening. Even you yourself think you are no good for Kim Sunoo himself. It’s just, you wanted to feel something while you’re still here, while you’re still alive.

“I made this just for you. I figured you may be hungry while studying—” he snaps his head at your direction once again and glared. His jaw clenched.

“What language do you speak that you can’t understand a simple ‘no’?” he rudely hissed at you.

Here he is again, being rude to you. Just today was a little bit more harsher. It’s fine, you kept telling yourself but deep inside you know, it’s not okay.

“Get lost, I say!” he said.

You kept your eyes darted straight to his cold ones. They didn’t show any remorse despite the tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

Someone then interrupted and tugged him over his shoulder. “Dude! Say sorry to her.” it was Jungwon. His eyes looked so worried and apologetic when he glanced at your direction.

Sunoo clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes before closing his locker. “Whatever.” he mumbled then started walking away.

Your eyes followed him while still standing at your position. You are in shock. Embarrasment and pity plays through your mind. He’s always snobby with you, but this is actually the first time he’s been this rude towards you.

Jungwon walks closer and handed you some tissues. You quickly flashed him a smile and chuckles to make the atmosphere lighter.

“I’m sorry about him, y/n. He’s just really tired because he stayed late last night.” he said looking really sorry for what his friend did.

You shook your head after accepting the tissues he was handing. “It’s okay! Maybe I am really pushing myself too much.”

Jungwon pursed his lips, amused at how kind and understand you can be. He sighed and just smiled a little.

“Still, he shouldn’t be rude.” after he says that and comforted you for a while he left to go to class.

Your smile fell the moment he turned his back. You really don’t want to give up on Sunoo and you did said you aren’t the type who gives up easily but it sure hard. Really hard.

Just in time your head snaps over to your back when you heard someone screaming your name. It was your friend and she was running towards you. Chuckles escaped your lips while watching her struggle and almost stumble across the floor.

“Phew!” she sighed heavily and tried catching her breath. “I thought I'm going to be late!” she exclaimed with relief.

You help her get her stuff before you two head towards the classroom. When you arrived inside, you saw that girls from your class are around Sunoo. They’re trying so hard to get any response from him. You pouted a little, thinking that you probably looked the same.

You let out a small sigh then head towards your table that made her tilt her head in confusion. She took quick steps to catch up with you.

“Wait, you’ll just let them?” she sounded so surprised.

“I feel a little tired.” you tried to reason out and gave her a small smile.

Thankfully she read the room and diverted the topic to somewhere else.

The whole day was pretty much busy for you since you had a lot of things to do. Even if you want to approach Sunoo, you tried your best not to for two reasons. One, because of what happened at the locker’s area and number two, he’s busy preparing for the quizbee.

At the end of the day, you still asked him if he wants to walk home with you. The answer was the same so you just walked home with your friend. You have no problem with it because you do enjoy every time with her, but a small part of you really wants for him to walk with you. If he do it once, you’ll be more than happy. Not just because it was on  your bucket list, but also because you really like him.

“Cheer up! You can always try tomorrow, y/n.” your friend threw her arms around your shoulder to start pulling you towards the direction of the gate.

You just smile a little and nodded your head. That’s the point. How long will you waste your time? You don’t have a long time remaining to this world. You are not sure if this whole idea is still wise. Is Kim Sunoo worth it?

After spacing out a little, you shrug and shove that negative thought away. You let out a big heavy sigh before smiling again.

Of course Kim Sunoo is worth it! He will always be worth it.

Weeks passed by with the same routine. And today, you ran a little late because you weren’t feeling well last night and slept too much. Thankfully, you made it before you morning broadcast. As always you read some reminders for the day and then your short quote for everyone.

“And to our sunshine, Sunoo. You make my dopamine levels go silly.” and with that you wrapped the broadcast then bid your clubmates to go at the locker’s area.

You pouted and glanced at the direction of his locker. He’s there surrounded and talking with his friends. You wanted to go approach them, but you have no enough time since you need to get your books for your class.

Someone approached you that made you tear your gaze away from Sunoo and his friends. You smiled brightly at the sight of your friend and she had her hand laid in front of you. Like as if asking you to lend her something.

You gave your a confused look and she did stared at you for a while before letting out a sigh.

“Give me your locker keys so I can get your workbooks for you. You can go and approach Mr. Popular.” she said in almost a monotonous way.

You giggled and hugged her before giving her your keys. She just shoo you away, acting like she’s not that affectionate over you.

You didn’t waste any time and just go approach Sunoo. He was listening to what his friends are talking about. He doesn’t seem bored, but he also not a talker.

The first one to see you approaching was Jungwon who quickly smiled and waved at you. That caused everyoneof them to turn and look at you, making you feel shy. Sunoo’s stare didn’t last long and he teared it off to go busy himself with rummaging through his locker. You sent Jungwon a small wave then looked at Sunoo.

“Hi Sunoo!” you greeted happily before trailing your eyes back over to his friends who are now watching you two.

“Hi guys!” you greeted them so just it wouldn’t be awkward and also to avoid being rude.

“Y/n, can you give me messages tomorrow as well?” your eyes darted Sunghoon when he said those words. He have this smile that makes you wonder if he’s teasing or being sincere.

Either way you gave him a smile, “Sure! I will surely read one for you tomorrow.”

“Me too! We have a basketball match tomorrow. Wish me luck, y/n.” this time it was Lee Heeseung, the captain ball of your basketball team who requested a message from you.

Even before you can say yes to his request, someone talked once again.

“Me too! We’re also part of the team!” Jake and Ni-ki said in unison that made you chuckle. They’re so cute.

‘✓ Make new friends.’

You smiled widely as you crossed that out of your list. It was so happy to have these type of conversation with new people.

“Sure! I’ll wish you good luck tomorrow.” you said with a sincere warm smile. The boys even cheered together that made you laugh once again.

While you are busy interacting with his friends, Sunoo suddenly felt irritated for an unknown reason. You are annoying already, but when you are like this around his friends you get more annoying. He isn’t sure why and he doesn’t know if he wants to know the reason.

You jolted when he abruptly closed his locker. It was a little aggressive that made you jump a bit. You followed him with your eyes as his friends tried to call him. He ignored them and just proceeded on going to class.

“What’s gotten into him?” Jake asked, totally clueless.

Jay shrugged his shoulders off then smoothly hangs the strap of his bag over his shoulder, “I’ll go to my class. See you at class, y/n.” he says and even playfully winked at you.

It made you chuckle and you bid good-bye to them too so you can go to your friend. She was done when you saw her and is watching from afar. She have this smirk over her lips that made you confuse.

“What’s with the smirk?” you asked curious.

She shakes her head side to side, “Nothing! I just realized its more fun watching from a distance because you get to observe things better.”

You didn’t totally get what she said, but she quickly dismissed the thought and start telling you about this movie she watched last night.

When you arrive inside the room, the whole class is still rowdy. Your eyes automatically searched for Sunoo and you saw him leaning over his table. No girls are around him. They probably realized he’s tired and doesn’t have the energy to deal with them today. You pouted and can’t help but to feel worried for him. Maybe that’s the reason why he reacted like that a while ago. He must’ve been tired. Being a smart student sure is tiring.

You sat down over your chair and your friend follows, still talking about her movie. You listened to her carefully and even comments from time to time. It was interrupted when your homeroom teacher went inside holding a folder over her hand. You looked at your friend and she did the same thing.

For some reasons, you felt a little nervous and curious of what’s inside the folder. The whole class was curious as well as they try to take guess of it. Some says that its your quarterly ranking. It made your heart stop for a while. ‘Isn’t it too early for that?’ you thought to yourself.

The teacher roamed her eyes around the room like as if checking if everybody’s present. When she finally make sure that you are complete she flashes a warm smile.

“I have here the list of pairs for your prom.” she announced that quickly made the whole class noisy. All of you cheered in happiness and relief.

“Omg! Y/n! This is really it! I wish my partner would be Ni-ki!” your friend exclaimed and even dramatically put her hands together then closed her eyes.

You laughed at her and also after seeing how the said boy turned his head at your direction. He probably heard his name being mentioned.

“I wish Sunoo is my partner!” you copied your friend and put your hands together, but unlike her you kept your eyes open then looked at Sunoo.

After a couple of seconds, your heart dropped when your eyes met. He didn’t break your eye contact and just stared at you. Later on, he rolled his eyes then looked away. You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling in victory while your heart thumped loudly. That was so far the longest eye contact with him!

Now, you really wish he will be your prom partner. You know the chance to get him is so small, but you will still hold on to it even if its just .03 percent.

‘— Dance with Sunoo at Prom.’

If you two became partners, this is already sure to happen. That will be the best night of your life. You bet its wonderful to be paired with him. You wanted this because you want to have the most memorable prom. This will only come once in your life and you don’t even know if you’ll ever get the chance to have a dance with Sunoo while wearing a pretty dress.

You jolted when your friend suddenly held your arm and shakes you continuously. She got this excited look on her face while you have this confused look.

“W-What?! What is it? What happened?!” you asks a bit in panic. You roamed your eyes around to see if there’s something odd, but nothing. Some of your girl classmates are eyeing you with their mean look, but you didn’t give much care about it. The teacher in front are also busy reading the pairs for your class.

“You got paired with Sunoo!” she announced that caught you off-guard.

You gave her this look like as if you’ve been casted a spell and couldn’t react anything. She chuckled, finding you funny.

“You’re shitting me..” you said to her, trying to wait for her to say that she just got you fooled.

She rolled her eyes. Even if she hates Sunoo because of how he treats you, she still wants you to he happy and if it means having him as your prom partner then be it. She will always be supportive of you.

“I swear with my life, you are paired with Sunoo!” she even pulls Jay’s uniform who's sitting in front of her to catch his attention.

“Please tell her that her partner is Sunoo. She doesn’t believe me.” she says then smiled at Jay.

The boy looked confused at first, but then he gave you a smile. “You are paired with Sunoo. Good luck with that.” and he even lets out a taunting chuckle.

Your friend shoot him glares and even kicked his chair lightly causing him to stop laughing.

On the other hand, your mind is slowly going blank and you feel like you are floating. You couldn’t believe it. Maybe God really listened to your prayers and gave you this opportunity to finish your bucket list.

That explains the glares you are getting from the girls at your class. They proabably envy you for having him as your partner. A victory smile flashes your lips. You are so lucky.

Your have this smile on your face all day and you feel like nothing can even make your day bad. Just by thinking about having him as your pair is enough for you to be in a good mood the whole day.

Kim Sunoo as your prom partner. The Kim Sunoo. Wow. You are very excited.

Smoothly the week passed and now, you are very excited because its time for your prom practice to start. You are even hopping cutely on your way to the audio-visual room for your morning broadcasts. It was very obvious how happy you are.

“And to our sunshine, Kim Sunoo. You give me feeling I can’t put into words.” and then you wrapped the session up like usual.

Your friend was already waiting for you by the locker’s area when you arrived. She couldn’t help but to roll her eyes after seeing how wide your smile is.

“Well someone’s in a good mood.” she said in a taunting way.

“Of course! The practice for prom starts today! I can’t wait for it.” you sounded so excited as you start to go get your things.

She lets out a frustrated groan and leaned over the lockers beside you.

“Don’t even remind me about it! I feel so heart broken that I am not paired with Ni-ki.” she says, pouting.

You mirrored her face and slightly taps her shoulder, “Awe! That’s all right. You can just go and ask him to dance with you!” you tried encouraging her.

She smirked, “You are right! I won't let him rest. We’ll dance all night!” the plan of her made you giggled and shake your head side to side. The sound of determination made it even funnier.

“Oh poor Ni-ki’s feet. I feel bad for them.” you joked. She glanced at you then scoffed.

“Oh poor Sunoo’s feet. I feel bad for them too.”

You both laughed and teased each other even more, time slipped out of your mind. When the bell rang, your eyes grew and head looked over your shoulder to check if Sunoo was there. No. He’s nowhere to be found. Maybe he already went to class. A pout makes it way your lips when you realized you didn’t even greet him.

Your friend dragged you towards your classroom and your class then started. It went by too slow for you.

Finally, your most awaited time of the day came. The whole class was asked to go to the auditorium to go meet the dance instructor for the prom dance. You went there with a big smile and your friend couldn’t help but to tease you about it. Upon arrival, the instructor asked you all to listen about the orientation for the dance.

She walked you guys through the whole plan she have for the dance. It was wonderful. For you, its perfect.

“Okay! Everyone please go to your respective partners!” she says and even clapped her hands to make you move.

You stood up and started roaming your eyes around to look for Sunoo. It was easy. He’s heading your way as well, eyes looked serious and both of his hands inside his pocket. He looked handsome as always.

“H-Hi.” you greeted after he managed to get close to you.

He draws in a sigh then nodded at you. It was enough to make you feel crazy inside. Both of you listens to what the teacher will ask you to do next.

“Now hold your partners hand. You have to get used to it from now on because you’ll be holding that for a long time.”

The first task made you feel like you’re up in the clouds already. It was unexpected. You gulped feeling very nervous. You’ve never held his hand. It is one of your dreams to hold it tho and also part of your list.

Your eyes slowly trailed over Sunoo. When he faced you with that bored look, you couldn’t help but to bite your lower lip. He sighs and laid his hand in front of you, waiting for you to take it.

Carefully, you lift your arm and placed your hand on top of his. He rolled his eyes and held your hand tightly making your stomach churns, butterflies flying all over.

“Just try not to be annoying.” Sunoo mumbles and glanced away to avoid the awkwardness.

You giggled, “I promise to do good, Sunoo.”

‘✓ Hold Sunoo’s hand.’

And you are trying so hard to do that. While the instructor starts to teach you guys, you have your whole focus on her and to the dance. You shoved away the thought of having Sunoo as your partner for a while so you can give your whole attention to the dance.

On the other hand, Sunoo’s the one to give his attention towards you. He can’t help but stare at your serious face. A small smirk appeared his lips before he rolled his eyes off of you. He couldn’t believe what he’s thinking right now. He actually think you are pretty cute.

And that’s how the first day of your practice ended. The whole week, you just practiced and as day passed by, Sunoo came to observe you silently while you are too occupied by the dance. You are totally unaware of it. You are unaware that Sunoo, the cold hearted guy from your class starts to notice you more often.

“Where’s y/n?” he asks his friend when he noticed that your chair was vacant again for the fifth time. It was odd for him because its nothing like you to skip school for a long time.

“Worried?” Jungwon asked in a teasing tone.

Sunoo rolled his eyes at him then settles down to his own chair. “No. Its because I don’t have a partner again.” he made it sound so believable that his friend just nods his head.

As the class starts, his friend’s attention drift off of him. He trailed his eyes over to your empty chair feeling something in him missing.

The following week, your ranking was announced and sadly Sunoo’s rank went down. He seemed down because of it. You feel bad and wants to cheer him up so bad.

“And to our sunshine, Kim Sunoo. For me, you are sill the best.”

After the session, you bid good-bye to your club members and head over the lockers. You waved to your friend and quickly get your things to come and greet Sunoo for a bit.

“Hi Sunoo!” you greeted that made him glance at you.

Before he can shoo you away you raised your hand, showing your palm at him. He looked confused.

“Before you can send me away, I just want to personally tell you that you are doing really great. I am proud of you!” you said that made him surprised.

He’s been wanting to hear those words from someone for a long time. He was totally stunned. He looked at you, feeling this unknown emotion that occupying his chest after seeing you again.

You smiled, “I’ll take my leave now! See you at class Sunoo!” and you started heading towards the class without even glancing back.

Sunoo kept his stares at you, feeling a warmth that he was searching for. A smile made it over his lips and he closed his locker.

The discussion started when you arrived and you tried to focus hard because you missed a lot. You groaned lightly staring at the clock too often to check if its time for practice already.

“Ouch.” you gasped and quickly moved away from Sunoo when you heard him utter that for the third time now.

Its your prom practice again and you’ve been messing up the dance because you are out for a while. You glanced at Sunoo with a worried face.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry, Sunoo!” you said.

Normally, he would’ve been so pissed right now. But Sunoo doesn’t feel like that, instead he’s starting to get bothered by how you really got more pale after you missed school for a while.

He gulped and tried to shove it off your mind. Since when did he became so good at observing?

“That’s what you get for missing practices.” he says in a low tone.

You pouted and lowered your head, feeling guilty. Its not like you have a choice. You are sick. But of course, you didn’t told him that. You draws in another sigh to apologize again, but suddenly a pair of hands gently tugged yours. He held them placing one hand to his shoulder, then holding the other one.

When you lift your head, you saw him staring down at his hand that was holding your waist. His cheeks and ears red. You bit your lower lip, admiring Kim Sunoo.

“Next time, don’t leave me alone.” he mumbled and slowly stares at your eyes.

You blushed like crazy as you smile widely at him.

“I won’t!” you exclaimed.

He rolled his eyes then looked at the instructor to wait for the next step. Your smile then fell when something dawned on you. He may not mean to not leave him forever, he may just meant about the dance, but your heart aches after realizing you are leaving. You are leaving Kim Sunoo and everyone else in this world.

“Y/n! Sunoo is downstairs.” you heard your Mom said.

You abruptly stood up from your bed and eyes grew big at what she said. Did you really heard that right? Kim Sunoo? He’s outside your house?

You quickly head towards the window and you really saw him in front. With hurry, you checked yourself in the mirror and slight grunts after you notice how pale you looks. You grabbed your tint and put some on your lips.

“Sunoo! Hello!” you greeted him with a big smile.

Sunoo licked his lower lip and stared at you seriously. “Are you okay? You skipped school again.” he says straight to the point.

Your smile faltered. Its been three days of you skipping schools again. Sunoo can’t wait anymore and just went to check on you. He doesn’t care what you think about this or if you think he cares for you. He does! And he’s going crazy because you aren’t attending class.

“U-Uhm, sorry. Am I giving you troubles for prom practice?”

He didn’t respond right away and just stared at you. “Do you want to walk around?” he asks, licking his lower lip. He can feel his throat getting dry.

You roamed your eyes and it was dark already. “Okay, I will just get my jacket.” and he just nodded his head then waits for you patiently.

Sunoo tries to calm himself down. Its been a whole month after he starts feeling this way with you. At first, he tries to ignore it and tells himself that he’s probably just misunderstanding things. He can’t like you, moreso fall in love with you. He’s annoyed with you. That was the last thing he remembers. How come he’s here to come see you just because you skipped school? Why does he looks for you all the time? Why does he feel incomplete without hearing your short messages for him every morning?

“I’m here!” you announced happily and walked your way towards Sunoo with a big wide smile.

Sunoo gulped, ‘Yep. He’s definitely in love with you.’

You two walked towards the park and since it was already dark, there are less people around. Sunoo asked you to sit down by the swing beside him which you quickly obliged.

As you both stares at the sky above, you can feel your heart hammering. You can’t believe you are here with him, staring at the stars. You should’ve included this to your list.

“Sorry again for the practice. It must have been hard to learn the dances without a pair.” you apologized again after you remembered about it.

Sunoo seemed unbothered tho, he’s just staring at you with this unexplained expression. You tilt your head to check on him.

“Sunoo?” you tried to call his attention.

He gulped, “Do you want me to teach you what you missed?” he asked that made you excited.

“Sure! Is that okay?”

He nodded and stood up from the swing so he can stand in front of you. He laid his hand in front of you then you accepted it. Both of you stood at the middle part of the playground. You are smiling and blushing so hard at the moment.

He hums and placed you in front of him. Making sure he holds onto you very gently. It made your heart flutters and like butterflies flew out of your stomach. You can’t truly explain what you are actually feeling.

He continues to teach you the dance steps you ‘missed’. At one part of the said choreo, he turns you and then tugs you closer right after. He takes you over his arms, your distance were not evident anymore. Your nose almost touching his and if he leaned an inch closer, you are sure that your lips would touch yours. The thought made your heart thumper in both anticipation and fear. Anticipation because its Kim Sunoo. Fear, because you’re afraid once you get a taste you’ll crave more of it.

Sunoo stared at your eyes then he gulped, “I n-need to tell you something.” he says that made you nervous right away.

You are uttering a silent prayer that what he was about to say is not what you are dreaming and hoping for. It may sound weird, but that will seriously make you happy and sad at the same time.

“W-What is it?” No. You are not ready to hear it. Suddenly, a rejection sounds more okay, than an actual confession. Silly you, you thought to yourself, how can you think that Sunoo will actually confess and have feelings for you? He wouldn’t, right?

“I love you, Y/n.” he says that made your ears rings and your heart fell.

It happened. It did happened.

Your eyes burns of tears at the sides as you try to compose and get a hold of yourself. This isn’t what you planned for. And this is definitely what you expected for.

You slowly withdraws yourself from his hold, making the color drains out of Sunoo’s face. It made him wonder if he had said or done anything wrong for you to act like how you just did.

“N-No. Tell me you’re joking.” a pool of tears can be seen at your eyes and its honestly making Sunoo worried.

“I am not.” he says too firmly as he tries to get a hold of you once again. He didn’t succeed as you shove it away, making a small but hurtful emotion prickling over his heart. He couldn’t understand.

You stepped away with horror on your face.

“Y-You can’t love me.” you manage to say.

Sunoo furrowed his brows and his jaw sets, “Why not? Tell me!” he demands and grabbed your arm, this time succeeding.

“I am sick!” you burst out to him, tears now flowing freely over your face.

He was stunned and just stared at you, waiting for what you’re going to say next.

“I am sick and I am dying, Sunoo. Y-You can’t...” you cried, unable to even finish the words you are saying.

Sunoo on the other hand was at complete shock. Couldn’t find any words to say. His mind wanders off to somewhere far, but his hold over your arm didn’t loosened.

He shut his eyes after he snapped back to reality with your soft cries. He sighed heavily, trying to get rid of that heavy filling over his chest. He slowly takes you over in his arms and pressed his lips at your head, eyes starting to water as well.

“I am not going anywhere. You can’t tell me I can’t love.” he uttered seriously that made you cry even more while wrapping your arms around his waist.

The next morning, you haven’t slept good because what happened last night still lingers to your mind like as if it was a dream. Sunoo knew about your sickness. He confessed.

Your heart aches at the thought of it. How come one simple thing can change your view in life? How come one person can affect you this much?

“Took you long enough.” your eyes softens when you saw him waiting outside of your house.

He smiled and walks closer to come get your things from you. You watch him silently, wondering what he’s doing here right now.

“If you’re doing this out of pity—”

“What do you mean? I literally said I love you last night. What I’m doing is mainly an act of love and not for pity.” he says and gently grabs your hand.

You two started walking towards the school and your eyes can’t leave your intertwined hands. For some reasons, you have always imagined you two doing these things and now that it is happening beneath your eyes, you couldn’t believe it.

“Are we really walking towards the school while holding each other’s hands?” you can’t stop yourself from asking.

Sunoo scoffed, “Yes. What? Dreams really do come true, huh?” he tried teasing you.

To his surprise, you didn’t take offense out of it and just nodded your head. He smirked and caress your hand softly.

“We’ll do this every time you want.” and he leans in to place a soft sweet kiss at your forehead.

You arrived at the school and he walks you over to the audio-visual room so you can do your broadcasts.

“And to our sunshine, Kim Sunoo. You’re the best thing I have ever waited for.” and this time you felt your heart tugs. There’s this unknown satisfaction right after you said those words. Like you are very certain that he is the best thing, because he is.

When you went out of the audio-visual room, your eyes grew big seeing him leaning over the wall. He was waiting for you. He pushed himself off then walks towards you to get your things again.

“Hi.” he greets and then held your hand tightly. Your heart beats so fast and unconsciously roamed your eyes around the hallways. Students are eyeing you like they’d seen a ghost. Who wouldn’t be surprised?

Arriving at the locker’s area, he accompanied you and then you two walked towards class hand in hand. Everyone who you walk pass by are shock of the sight they are seeing. It was overwhelming for you.

You can’t believe you are capable of being this happy. Too happy, that you are slowly becoming more scared of tomorrow. Slowly you are starting to ask God of what’s his plan, what’s his reason for taking you the opportunity to live and long and spend it with your love ones. His reason why he let you meet Sunoo and fell in love.

The time came. Your body drops down and you are taken to the hospital. It was dreadful. Not only for you, but for your family and the people who cares for you.

Sunoo didn’t left your side. He just stayed there with you, accompanied and helped your parents to take care of you. They were beyond thankful. They can see how genuine his love for you.

“Hey, pretty.” he greets when he arrived your hospital room. He went close and dropped a quick kiss at your forehead then at your lips.

You smiled and his eyes roamed around, confused why your things are packed.

“You’re moving rooms? Are you all right?” he asked, alarmed of the situation.

You smiled and caress his face, “I’m going home. I’ll be resting there until...”

Your mouth hangs and words can’t come out of your lips. He pursed his lips and you can clearly see that he’s scared. Very scared. He sighed and cupped your face then pressed his forehead at yours. You raised your hand and pressed your hands over his.

“I love you. I love you so much.” he mumbles softly that made your heart crack.

“I love you.” you responded.

You stayed like that for a while before you’re ready to go move at your house for home medication. He helped you and your family settling down. Now, he comes visit you at your house every time. You are starting to be worried of his own health because he seemed to sleep less. He even have school.

“Sorry I can’t be your partner at prom.” you uttered one afternoon while you two rests at your balcony, staring at the stars.

He caress your shoulder while staring at the pretty stars above. His tears slowly forming at the corner of his eyes.

“Its fine, baby.” he says and kissed your forehead. “Its fine.”

The next day, it was prom night and you are brushing your hair in front of your mirror. Your mind is filled with nothing but Sunoo. He’s probably off to school for your prom night. He wanted to skip and just be with you, but you insisted for him to go. Its a one in a lifetime experience. If you can’t have it, at least he should.

Your head snaps over to your door when it opened. Your Mom enters and you can see that even if she’s smiling she have tears at the corner of her eyes.

“Hi Mom.” you smiled, just so she can feel better.

She approaches and just then, you noticed this pink lower part of a dress. Your brows furrowed as to why she have that thing with her. She asked you to stand up, and with no further questions you did. She made you wear that part of the dress. It was a detachable one. It’s your favorite color too.

You both looked over your full length mirror and she stared at you through it. This time, a tear successfully escaped her eyes.

“I love you sweetheart.” she mumbled that made you want to cry as well. If you’re having a hard time, you bet your parents did as well.

You hugged her and told her that you love her too. After calming down a bit, she asks you to come with her. Slowly, she guided you towards the backyard.

Your mouth fell when you saw that it was decorated. Some pretty lights surround it and a couple of tables and chairs were placed around. Its like as if there is a party.

Sunoo then appeared at the side and you couldn’t find a word to say. Sunoo, who supposed to be on his way to prom is now standing right in front of you. He’s wearing his tux and looking so gorgeous as ever.

“W-What...” you managed to say.

He smiles, “I wouldn’t go anywhere without my partner.” he says and put this flower over your wrist before kissing your hand.

Then his friends and their dates appeared too. They are all smiling and you can’t help but to tear up even more.

“Our prom is where you are, y/n!” Jungwon says happily. When you glance at your best friend, she was waving crazily while crying. Ni-ki is standing behind her, towering over her.

Sunoo guided you at the center and the familiar waltz you practiced back then played. Thankfully, you managed to remember the dance.

“Thank you so much, Sunoo. I love you. You make me the happiest. You are my angel.”

He smiles, “I love you, y/n. You make me happy.” and he leans in to seal your love for each other.

‘✓ Dance with Sunoo at Prom.’

The days and weeks after are magical with Sunoo. You can’t ask for more. You are contented and happy with him. Somehow, you’re slowly understanding why all of these happened.

Love made you question God’s plans for you, and its also Love that made you realized what its meant for. You are meant to meet Sunoo because he’s the one who can make you the happiest on your remaining days, and Sunoo met you because you are the one to heal him. You are each other’s soulmates.

“I will be part of them once I leave this place. I will be always pretty and looking out for you.” you utter, even if you are feeling very weak.

Sunoo caress your shoulders and trying to look at the stars you are pointing at. He smiles, but tears formed at the corner of his eyes.

“You are always beautiful.”

You turns your head and look at him. You stared at his face, trying to memorize each and every inch of it. You don’t want to miss anything.

“I love you so much.”

Sunoo cries gently, couldn’t hold it anymore. He placed a kiss a your forehead before pressing it to yours.

“I love you more than words can say.” and with that he kissed your lips.

Everybody else already left and only some of your family members remains, but Sunoo didn’t mind. He sat there silently. He promised you he won’t be sad all the time, but that promise are already broken right after the day you left him.

He pursed his lips and caress your gravestone gently. A light taps over his shoulder sends a little comfort for him. He received those from your family, his family and his friends.

“Here, Sunoo.” he glanced over your friend when she’s handing him this c.d. Her eyes are puffy from crying too much, just like him.

He accepted it and stared at it blankly.

“Y/n asked me to compile all her morning messages for you before and she records more. She said so you can have something to listen to. She knew you’ll be very sad for a while.” she said, crying more.

Sunoo smiled a little and caress the thing that will be his savior and comfort while you two are away from each other. He stood up and once he was home, he went to play it.

First time he heard your voice again, days after you left was heartbreaking for him. He mourning and nothing can really comforts him, but your voice.

This audio record of your messages has become his source of strength. Your voice that he used to hear everytime, but now only an echo that serves as a reminder of your undying love for him.

—

main master-list

greek myth master-list

[kmze]

2x12 - 2x22 Alright I did something different this time, I put my thoughts down while watching (usually after I finished the episode) instead of doing it after I finished all the episodes. So I have way more thoughts this time lol, my short term memory was struggling before. All this is to say this is much longer than my last recap thoughts, also this is one of the best seasons of the show so it made the rewatch more enjoyable.

Poor Rose and very dumb on Damon’s part to leave Elena with her having absolutely no idea what the werewolf bite was going to do. The dream sequence he gives Rose is one of the best Damon scenes ever IMO. RIP Rose and that awful wig.

Elena told Damon to be the better man and the groan I let out... I wish you an eternity of misery Kevin Williamson!

I could not stop laughing at Stefan's brilliant idea of talking to Tyler involved him sneaking into his house and then slamming him against the wall LMFAO!! Genius idea Stefan that definitely made him want to help you and be friends, truly a mystery that you two never get along.

The Lexi flashbacks made me sad I was 100% with Stefan glaring at Damon like BTW you’re awful in case you forgot.

Is Alaric wearing eyeliner sometimes or am I seeing things?

The Damon/Andie scenes just make me so mad and uncomfortable, there's moral ambiguity that always exists in this show and then there's this disturbing storyline, fuck the writers.

Ok I admit Matt and Caroline have one good scene (though Caroline does the heavy lifting here) when she sings to him at the grill and they kissed. I clapped, a moment of weakness. Matt ruined the good feelings by the end of the episode though so balance has been restored.

Unintentional Intentional Foreshadowing? At the 60s dance Stefan and Elena are dancing and then Caroline and Matt come in. Stefan leaves Elena to go dance with Caroline and spins Elena into Damon’s arms. While this is happening the song playing is Last Kiss, which is a song about a guy who lost his girl in a car crash. I don't think it was intentional but if I were the writers I would totally take credit and say it was.

I'm sure this is part of the Delener manifesto (which I will never read) but the line "I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage" had me like DAMNNNNNN. Maybe I don't give Damon enough credit because that was a pretty great summarization of why Stefan eventually lets Elena die in 3x22 by "respecting her choices".

I am so tired of the suicide missions this season, choose life!

At least Caroline chooses life! This is when I really started seeing how Caroline is climbing up in the narrative and especially how her love life is gaining more depth and importance. The porch and door scenes in particular because lovers and potential lovers on the porch was something Elena got in S1. For Caroline the doorway represents her heart. We got Tyler inside while Matt is outside in 2x10 because that's when she was helping Tyler and started falling for him, meanwhile she broke up with Matt to protect him. Then Tyler fucks up and he gets the door slammed in his face. Stefan says he can come in if she wants him to in 2x13 but she's not ready to let Stefan in yet, and he realizes that so he brings back-up. Then you've got Matt back inside her heart but really her Mom put him there to spy on her. I really like the shot of Matt at the door looking at Liz in 2x18 before the dance.

IMO most of this season Elena has a relationship with both brothers; she has a physical one with Stefan and an emotional one with Damon and she does that so they are both all about her. And I think this current version of the triangle was the only way she could have both. Because Stefan doesn't care that Damon is also in love with Elena because it means he'll protect Elena (re: quote above) and he'll be in Stefan's life which is all he ever wanted. And Damon because he's so obsessed and consumed by Elena will stay there pining and flirting and acting out when he feels ignored because Stefan will be there to "clean up it up." Everyone wins in a very fucked up way. The problem is she couldn't keep Damon at just an "hopelessly pining" distance and once Elena chose Damon, Stefan wasn't interested in being the one in an emotional relationship.

Klaus knowing all the Mystic Falls gossip already lol.

Tyler saying who’s Klaus my poor boy I wish you never found out. Really loved the Tyler and Caroline scenes the last few episodes (I mean the heart eyes he gives her in the tomb *melts*), they'll always hold a place in my heart.

I'm sorry Liz but you were a terrible sheriff, my god. In fact MFPD is up there with GCPD as the most inept police department in all of fiction. How the hell could they not take down one vampire who was weakened by werewolf venom?

The Stefan and Elena goodbye in 2x20 was so heartbreaking damn, they absolutely have moments where I totally ship them and that's one of them.

2x21 is the best episode of this half and overall the storytelling in this season is really solid. Everything with the sacrifice ritual was well done and even though I knew exactly what was going to happen I was intrigued the whole time, the best was Bonnie coming in with the wind and the fire and the magic. I feel like the show often has a problem where one half of a season will be good than the other meh, this season was solid throughout. Loved the twist that the sun and moon curse was made up.

Some of the acting choices Joseph makes while Klaus is watching Stefan drink the blood bags are… sir I see you and I appreciate you.

Lines that made me laugh:

Damon: Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust. (this made me laugh so hard I had to pause LMFAO his jabs at her were so good)

Caroline: Everyone just needs to stop kissing me! (a classic! Caroline's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard)

Not a line but Alaric having to write “The dagger will kill you…” on a piece of paper and then their mad faces was hilarious! They are just so dumb.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

THE BOX IS NABOO

That’s it, I’m doing it, I’m writing that stupid meta I’ve had in the works for two and a half years, I’m sharing it with the world. I promised it for last Thursday, my poll was forever ago, but whatever! I’m writing that freaking thing.

(super duper long post, press j to skip)

Enter my rabbit hole.

First thing to establish: the Box makes no sense whatsoever in-universe.

((EDIT: Something I forgot to mention. IRL, the premise of a giant murder cube and the aesthetic - wall patterns, light designs, etc - of the episode come from the 1997 horror movie Cube, (see the episode’s wookieepedia page). However, while the two are very closely linked visually, the Box does not follow the movie structurally or narratively, as you can verify by simply reading the movie’s summary.))

Recap of the context for the "Box" episode (s4e17): Palpatine is planning his own kidnapping. It was never meant to succeed, and while the plan would obviously benefit him (making the Jedi look bad, pushing Anakin closer to the Dark Side, making Republic citizens more afraid -> more docile, etc...) his actual goal is never explained, and it’s weird that he’d go to such extreme lengths for results so minimal that we’re never told what they are.

So Palpatine asks Dooku to kidnap him at the Festival of Lights on Naboo. Dooku hires Moralo Eval to design a giant box-thingy to test bounty hunters to hire the best of them to kidnap Palpatine. Moralo then gets arrested to alert the Republic that something is afoot, and hires Cad Bane to break him out. Obi-Wan - undercover to learn Moralo’s plan - goes with them. They evade capture and go to Serenno, and Bane and Obi-Wan have to pass the box-thingy test. The level of brainkarked logic here... Truly on par with Megamind, Gru and Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

Setting aside the insane plot holes and utterly nonsensical behavior of the villains, the Box itself is moronic from a plot perspective. It’s insanely complex, obviously incredibly expensive and would have taken months (more like years but it’s a short war) to make when it’s not even needed for the dastardly plot! Just hire some guys who have already proven themselves against Jedi! Throw cash at Bane and Embo and a few others! Maybe attack them with your saber and see how they do! 

And after all that, Dooku still ends up trying to kidnap Palpatine on his own. I can’t even... 

So why does the Box exist? Well, apart from being a nerdy callback to Cube, giving us a good thrill and being generally awesome to look at, it has actual narrative purpose within the SW universe.

The box is Naboo.

What the Box lacks in plot relevance, it makes up for with its heavily symbolic meaning. It very closely follows Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s experiences on Naboo - but only certain parts, which I’ll explain later.

We start with clean, sterile environments, SW’s favored way of showing villainy.

Then we have the protagonists locked in a room as dioxis, a poison gas, pours in.

And then they escape... this way.

(Okay, here the shaft is down, not up. And it’s not a ventilation shaft per say, it’s the designed escape route. Same difference).

We then skip most of TPM (namely, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon discovering the droid army, finding Padmé, leaving Naboo, landing on Tatooine, going to Coruscant, etc, etc) to come back to Naboo and go directly to the lightsabers and catwalks.

(Note: in both scenes, Obi-Wan has to propel himself from a catwalk.)

In TPM and TCW, the catwalks are immediately followed by ray shields

And we finally end with the last scenes. Now, they don’t look the same but they are structurally identical. 

Obi-Wan is faced with a challenge unsuited for his abilities (facing Darth Maul // shooting three moving targets when he’s far more skilled with a blade than a blaster) on a narrow space above a melting pit/pit of fire. 

He first watches someone die failing to complete the task...

 ... and has to do it himself, faring much better than expected (holding his own against Maul // shooting all the targets easily). 

He then almost falls to his death and gets saved unexpectedly.

And then there’s the final showdown.

In both scenes, Obi-Wan is angry. And in TCW Dooku eggs him on, banking on his anger. (More on that later.) In both cases though, he centers himself and is able to overcome both his opponent and his own unbalance. But in TCW, he doesn’t go for the kill, because he doesn’t need to. 

The Box, as a literal character-explorator ex-machina, thus shows us Obi-Wan’s growth.  

In TPM, Obi-Wan follows Qui-Gon’s lead. In TCW, he is the leader. He identifies the gas, makes the plans. He doesn’t fall from catwalks anymore - he runs atop moving ones. He doesn’t stay stuck behind ray-shields, he finds the solution. (Btw, how did Moralo know what blood type Derrown the Exterminator was? There was a 50% chance of him dying - thus killing all of the bounty hunters. Was that an acceptable outcome? TCW I need answers!) He doesn’t slay his foes, because he’s become powerful enough, skilled enough and wise enough to survive (and win) without needing to kill.

He’s grown - and, even more interestingly, he’s also stayed the same. In the previous episodes, we see some of the dark aspects of Obi-Wan. How he - like all Force-wielders, all people - could lose himself if he stopped maintaining absolute control.

But in the Box, surrounded by the worst criminals of the Galaxy, the most ruthless, worthless people, he’s still kind and tries his best to keep them alive.

The Box is a reminder and a reassurance for the audience that Obi-Wan Kenobi is still there under Rako’s face. He hasn’t lost his compassion, his restrain. He’s still a Jedi. And he’s an awesome, badass one. 

And now, for what it tells us about Dooku! 

It’s much shorter, don’t worry. Basically, Dooku considers that the best way to pick “the best of the best” of the deadliest people in the Galaxy is making them go through what killed his Padawan. There, I’ve broken your hearts, you’re welcome. 

More seriously, Dooku is a manipulative ass. It’s pretty clear that he knows Rako is Obi-Wan, or at the very least suspects it. 

He has an interesting reaction upon learning Rako’s identity, he keeps praising him despite his usual distaste for low-lifes, he smirks secretively after Eval says “I’ll show you who’s weak” (not included there because it’s a close-up of Dooku’s lips and no one wants to see that) and he tells Rako he’s very disappointed when he doesn’t finish off Eval.

[Later]

(Look at this smug asshole - I can’t. YOUR GRANDSON IS THE BEST, WE KNOW, STOP ACTIVELY RUINING HIS LIFE ALREADY.)

(Dooku... why...)

Now obviously Dooku couldn’t have made the Box specifically for Obi-Wan, because it would have to have been designed months before the Council ever decided to send Obi-Wan undercover, but he has no qualms trying to use it to push Obi-Wan to the Dark Side. Ffs Dooku, making your spiritual grandson relive one of the most traumatic events of his life on the off chance that he’ll join you (and desecrate his Master’s memory in doing so) is not okay!

Final tidbits of analysis: I mentioned that not all of TPM is mirrored in the Box. What’s omitted is the droids (even though Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fight B1′s and droidekas between the dioxis and the ventilation shafts) and anything pertaining to Sidious (all the political stuff on Coruscant). You’ll also note that the fake lightsabers are orange.

=> The Box distances itself from anything that connects Dooku to Naboo. Red lightsabers are the trademark of the Sith, so they’re not used. The bounty hunters will be facing Jedi, so logically the fake sabers should be green or blue - and yet they’re orange, the color closest to red without being red. It fits with Dooku’s special brand of dishonesty - he always tells bits of the real story but twists them just enough to absolve himself of any fault and to justify his choices. 

(”We can destroy the Sith” -> could maybe destroy Sidious with Obi-Wan, but fails to mention he’s a Sith Lord himself; “the Viceroy came to me for help, that’s why I’m attacking the Republic” -> political idealism is a small part of it, but fails to mention he’s Sidious’ underling and is playing the Viceroy like a fiddle; “Qui-Gon would have joined me” -> maybe, still fails to mention he’s working for the man who ordered Qui-Gon’s death; “I told you everything you needed to know” -> debatable, never said that Palps was Sidious; “Sifo-Dyas understood, that’s why he helped me” -> partly true, doesn’t admit to killing Sifo-Dyas right after getting his help)

So we have a twisted version of Naboo, droid-free (as droids are now irrevocably associated with Dooku, even if that wasn’t the case in TPM) and with sabers that aren’t quite red. Keep in mind that Dooku had already fallen by TPM. (We know this because he killed Sifo-Dyas and created the Clone Army - part of Sidious’ plan - when Valorum was still Chancellor, as per the episode The Lost One.) That means Dooku was (in)directly complicit in Qui-Gon’s death. And the Box doesn’t (=refuses to?) acknowledge that. 

(Also omitted in the Box are the Gungans and Tatooine. It makes sense, because Dooku probably wouldn’t have the full details regarding those parts of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan’s missio as they weren’t as public, and would see them as irrelevant if he did. He utterly despises Anakin, and Gungans are the type of people he always dismisses out of hand). 

Anyway, that’s my two cents about the Box. To quote Lucas...

“It’s like poetry. It rhymes.”

Thanks to @lethebantroubadour @impossiblybluebox​ @nonbinarywithaknife @ytoz​ and @kaitie85386​ for voting for this one. Next up is a compilation of the Jedi being casually tactile with each other (because they’re a warm and affectionate culture, dammit).

Also thanks to @laciefuyu​ for giving me gifs I ended up not using ^^; you rock anyway!

[mfpeace]

@justbeingedgy @weird-colombian-gurl You asked me to elaborate on the "Ches already has a kid" theory in the notes of that one mf analysis post (which I really liked, go check it out!!), so that's why I'm making this one, cuz notes are a bit too restricting for what I want to talk about!

Though next time think twice before asking me to talk about something I'm interested in, because you never know when you're gonna wake up lovecraftian horrors!! :DDD you'll see what i mean when you press read more :))

So, I'll say it right now - this post is largely inspired by the second story highlight of this Instagram user (sorry, I don't know their name, only that their Instagram handle is dee_girl_metalfamilyfan), it's in Russian though, so keep that in mind

Alright, so I'll break this theory into two parts: the first one will be all about Ches, and the second will be about his potential child (spoiler: you might've seen her!)

Without any further ado, let's get to the Ches part:

1. The creators said that they're gonna explore Ches' character in the second season. Obviously, it doesn't mean anything on it's own, but just wait.

Dima: Let's talk about the second season a little. Of course, the seconds season will show development of the old characters, as well as new ones. That's in short. As you see, Ches looks a bit different here.

Alina: Yeah, we'll show a bit more about Ches at the ages of 18 to 20. His past. We'll reveal a bit more about his complex character, as much as it's possible.

(The source of the translation) Also I think they also said at one point that adult Ches will get some character development too? But that's probably a given, considering that we wouldn't see his youth if it wouldn't have affected him in the present, flashbacks without any relevance to the overall story don't sound so good

2. Not sure about this one (we don't know how much in character it was) but I can't not mention it.

Alina: Actually there was this one fanfic that I really liked. I don’t remember what it was called, but it was about Ches having a daughter, which is a cool topic. It was relatively in character and truly interesting. It’s great when people focus not just on sexual relationships of the characters, but also try to look at their development. That was a really interesting one. That’s it.

(UnityCon '19)

3. This one's a pretty big one, in my opinion. So, this is what they said on ArtWave '19:

Dima: Ches also has flaws.

Alina: [to Dima] Don’t spoil stuff.

Dima: His flaw is that he's very... irresponsible, let’s say.

So, maybe, just maybe, Ches does have a child but he, you know... left them? As the Instagram highlight from the beginning say: "he might be irresponsible enough to leave his child, and he's probably irresponsible enough not to use any contraception" (rephrased, not the exact quote)

4. Alright, so, the only mention of this one I can think of right now is the aforementioned Instagram highlight. The Metalfamilyfan says:

I contacted Korg/Корж, (admin of @ metal_yama [and I believe one of the organizers of the Metal Family Meetup in Moscow]) and she asked Alina on one of the meetups: "if Ches were to be a father, what kind of father would he be?"

And she said: "The kind of that would say "kid, look at that birdie over there!" an then he would run away"

Someone's words are not the perfect source, but they did tag Metal Yama and from what I know they didn't disagree with what the author of the page said. if anyone has anything to say about this (disprove or definitely prove what I said) feel free to do so in a reblog, notes, DMs, send me an anonymous ask, or in any other way you feel comfortable with

5. Ches has literally been through the same thing, and we know how important the theme of the cycle of abuse is in Metal Family (or, in this case, the cycle of neglect? Abandonment? Idk)

You managed to hide your PREGNANCY from me! AND you've been hiding the child from me for a whole year!

YES, because you would've insisted on aborting him!

AND NOW I'M INSISTING ON PUTTING HIM UP FOR ADOPTION! OR I'LL LEAVE RIGHT NOW!

6. Here we can see Ches with a blonde girl. Nothing too special, probably just a one time hook up. He doesn't seem to be interested in her, and she seems to be annoyed with him.

But wait...

What is this?

Like, it doesn't even matter if there's actually a punk/rock/whatever band named MOM or not, I just think it's pretty weird to put it in this particular drawing of Ches and this random woman who is implied to have slept with him. It's not integral to Ches' character as, for example, Korol i Shut is. It's just... there. For some reason.

------------

Alright, now, finally let's get to the second part of the theory: who is, exactly, his child?

The short answer is, according to this theory, her:

First, let me list every single instance of her appearing in canon (and by canon I mean everything made by the creators. Even with this definition of canon it's not much, I promise): The screenshot you can see above on the left (it's a screenshot from the second season and it appeared here), an instagram story posted by Alina (above, right), and two drawing with a lot of characters where you can spot the girl which I'm gonna call her PinkHair or PH for short, I'll mention them later I feel like I should mention this, comparing the sources of the images and the dates when they were posted, it's safe to assume that the screenshot in the classroom has the latest and final version of her design. The red hair most likely doesn't mean anything

1. Alright. So. we've seen Dee and PinkHair in a classroom together, so they're most likely related in some way, or at least they know each other. Their exact relationship doesn't matter here, because all that matters here is that they're related story-wise

Let's look at the first image. This is the banner of the main Metal Family channel. Ches is near Heavy (they get along quite well and I'm sure Heavy aspires to be like Ches in many ways), Dee (we can see his classmates/friends near him, they're all about his age), and we can see people related to Glam on the left side of the image (including Ches!), and Vicky's - on the right side (notice how the hell sign is also there)

Now, I'm not absolutely sure about this one, but it's still kind of weird - look at the image on the right (it's from ArtWave 2021 btw) - wouldn't it make more sense to put PinkHair near Dee? Also, Curiously enough, not only is she not close to Dee on this image, but she's also standing next to Ches.

Though this whole thing could be explained by art theory (too many small things in one corner of your drawing isn't great composition wise lol sorry PH) but I still can't quite skip this point

2. Remember the "MOM" lady? Fun fact, she has the exact same pearl earring that PinkHair has on the screenshot.

3. I'll put all similarities with her supposed parents in this point: Mother: * She's also pretty uh.. glam? for the lack of a better word? Or feminine in a traditional sense, yeah I think that's a better way to put it. Like colors they prefer to wear for example, and jewelry. Characters like that aren't common in Metal Family * She's gotta be a blonde. I can't imagine her being anything but blonde. If she manages to maintain that hair color as a brunette I'm just straight up assuming her character arc is gonna be killing God because these kind of people are capable of anything. I fear them with every fiber of my being. * I can't say for sure because of the shading, but it seems like they both have gray eyes, and she also has darker skin compared to most MF characters. Though, it's likely that Mom just applied a lot of fake tan Ches: * We know that Ches for sure has darker skin * AND grey eyes * There's also some possible personality similarities but I'm not sure if you can compare a child to a parent they've never really known in this way

That's about it, I suppose, I hope there isn't that many grammar mistakes and logically unfinished parts and whatnot in this post I forgot to edit lol x) I'm not sure how to end this post other than to remind you guys that almost all the points in this posts are inspired by the "тупая теория" highlight on the dee_girl_metalfamilyfan's Instagram page, so go check them out and subscribe, they post Dee x The Quest Girl fanart and and always credit the artists. Without them this post would be much, much shorter.

Thanks for reading this post, please feel free to let me know your thoughts on this post <3

[kailedger]

for all the YOI fanfic authors

I’ve been reading a lot of fanfics in this particular fandom and, as a Russian, there’s like... little things that constantly bother me. Don’t get me wrong, the works are amazing, but every time I see this little innacurate details in a really good piece I’m like... slightly dissapointed lol

So here’s a couple things from a native speaker and someone who actually lives in Russia. (Also pardon my grammar, since English is not my first language).

NAMES. I couldn't stress it more, honestly. Here's the thing: most of Russian names have a full version and a short version. For example Victor (or Viktor, whichever you prefer) is the full version and Vitya is the short version. Sometimes I see authors using the short version, but most of the time it's described as something unusual (like Victor gets TOO excited to hear it from Yuuri). But in real life everyone in Russia will call him Vitya. It's not a big deal, the closest equivalent I can think of is this: if you wanna adress someone as Ms. or Mr., you can use the full name, but if two people are on the first name basis, in Russia they most likely will use the short version. So, like, Yakov, Yurio, Mila, Georgi will definitely call him Vitya (as I recall, in anime Yakov actually does? Or have I been reading too much fanfiction?). 

If it's an official kind of thing (for example, press meetings etc.) Victor can be adressed by his full name, sometimes even with his paternal name. (Paternal names in Russia is a whole other thing, pretty close to second names, but a little bit different. We always adress elder people like teachers with both full name and paternal name). I actually think Victor would adress Yakov with his paternal name, but that heavely depends in their relationship (honestly, Victor has like zero chill, so I wouldn't put it past behind him to have no respect in this matter lol). 

Oh, and Yurio's name is a mess in most fanfics. The full name would be Yuri, the short version is Yura. Since Otabek is from Kazakzstan, there's a very high chance he's actually fluent in Russian, so he would definitely use "Yura". The cutesy dimunitive would be Yurochka (not Yuratchka as it's stated in the anime subtitles), but it's only appropriate to use with a big age difference (like Yurio's granpa calling him that) or in a really sweet manner, to a point of being almost nauseating. (BTW, dimunitive from Vitya is Viten'ka). 

Mila's full name doesn't actually have a short version, but if you're looking for a dimunitive it's Milochka (which is also the same word for "darling" in Russian, and this version can be kind of sarcastic, so be careful with it). 

Georgi... Oh my God, where do I start lol. There's like two common short versions: Zhora or Gosha (sometimes even Goga, we have a very popular movie quote with this name, it's like a well-known joke for Russians).

Pet names. That's a whole other different level of hell. I often see people writing Victor using pet names, sometimes it's good, most of the times it makes me go "He would never use that, please, stop". 

"Zolotse" as in "gold" is actually a pretty good one - altough it's a little conservative and not often used, it has a personal meaning for Victor and Yuuri and isn't, you know... cringy. But for the love of God, don't use "krasavchik" (handsome guy) or "detka" (baby), it's just... no. Miliy (darling), lyubov moya or lyubimiy (my love) are pretty good. A little too sweet for my taste, but I actually think it's appropriate for Victor since he's clingy lol.

Accents. So here's the thing. I lived my whole life in Russia, I learned English through some additional courses (not very advanced) and watching a lot of american/english tv-shows and movies and reading literature in english. When I had the chance to talk to native speakers (one was from Boston, I believe, and also a bunch of people in England when I went on a vacation there), most of them said that I barely had any accent at all. 

Victor presumably has been participating in international events from a very young age. My point is - sure, he can have an accent, but in my opinion it's not gonna be very distinctive. Unless he's specifically speaking in a broken English, but, like, why would he do that? On the other hand, Yurio and Mila are both pretty young, so it would actually make sense for them to have an accent or even have trouble speaking English.

Customs and traditions. Pretty sure most people know it already, but in Russia we do wear our wedding rings on the right hand. Has something to do with our main religion being eastern orthodox church. 

We don't usually celebrate Christmas. Our Christmas is on 7th of January and it's a pretty religious holiday, most of us barely acknowledge it. So 25th of December is not a holiday in Russia. But! New Year is the biggest holiday for the whole country. We celebrate it starting from 31st of December, and the celebration itself usually involves the New Year tree, champange, tangerines and a whole bunch of salads. We have official holidays from 31st of December all the way to 7th on January (some years even 8th or 9th). So it's a whole week of celebration where people usually get drunk a lot lol. 

The stereotype about russians drinking a lot is not exactly a sterotype tbh. We DO drink a lot, not all of us, of course, but still. And yeah - vodka is pretty common since you can find it really cheap and it doesn't have a particular taste or smell (if you don't count the smell and taste of alcohol itself). But I, for example, prefer rum in my cocktails, so it's like a preference thing. 

Not exactly a tradition or custom, but still fits here. Yeah, it can get pretty cold in Russia, especially in winter or late fall. But this winter (of 2019-2020) was pretty mild honestly, not a lot of snow and the temperature was rarely below -10 degrees celcium. And our summers can get unbearebly hot. Since the humidity in St. Petersburg is very high, it makes the hot weather even worse. Oh, yeah, and in St. P it rains A LOT. The city itself is pretty gloomy and dark, but that's kind of part of it's charm if you're into this kind of thing (some people are not, I've got a lot of friends from Moscow who hate St. P for being so moody). 

Russia is also pretty big. The travel from St. P to Moscow is from 4 to 12 hours on train (depends on what train you're on) or 1.5 hour on plane. But both of those cities are in the western part of the country. Vladivostok (the city on the eastern coast) is actually closer to Japan than it's to St. P or Moscow (2 hour flight to Japan, 45 hour flight to St. P, crazy, right?)

Homophobia. Kinda heavy topic, beware. Russia is a homophobic country. Not to the point of same-sex relationship being a criminal offence, but propaganda, as our authorities would call it, is an administrative offence. And the court can judge A LOT of your actions as a propaganda, especially if you’re a public person. I mostly prefer to not dwell on this topic in fanfiction, I think even the creators of anime itself stated that there’s no homophobia in YOI world, so best stick to it, I guess? But if you wanna go for something realistic, here’s how it would have been in Russia. If Victor EVER publicly acknolewged being in a relationship with another man (like... kissing one on a national televion, ya know), he would be heavely criticized. There would still be supporters, people who would say that it doesn’t matter, what his personal life is like, but there would be a lot of backlash, especially on official level. Which would make his life in Russia pretty miserable tbh. He would most likely lose a majority of his sponsorships in Russia, there’s even a high chance of administrative penalty (since he’s a public person). That’s really sad and makes me very, very angry, but, unfortunatly, that’s the reality. Oh, and same-sex marriage is illegal in Russia, in case that wasn’t clear. 

Phew, that was a lot, and I think I haven’t covered all that I wanted to lol. But in case you have any question, feel free to ask!

p.s.: part two, if you’re interested: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621623611041759232/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-author-p2

[fe-husband-heaven]

Wait so Mod, which characters do you think have a thing for the summoner in feh? I really love your writing btw :D ❤️❤️❤️

heheheheh

You guys don't miss a beat, huh? ;)

((I'm including quotes from these heroes speaking to the summoner!))

Top 10 FEH Husbands that I have delusionally cultivated romantic subtexts from (In no particular order and besides Alfonse and Líf cuz they're simp #1 and simp #1 where it went horribly wrong-):

Inigo:

"I want to help you reach your dream. I want to see you smile. Now, and forever...my heart brims with affection for you."

I mean...he pretty much laid that all out on the table djdjdj i think its super cute that in another line he also mentions showing the summoner and ONLY the summoner, a special dance of his.

Joshua:

"Oh, did I mention? I'm the crown prince of Jehanna. And when I go back, I want you to come with me. I don't need your answer now, but give it some thought. Maybe we can flip a coin to decide?"

I really love this one because he also has a voice line where he says "Heads, I win—tails, you lose." where it's impossible for him to lose a coin toss djdjdjd so 👀👀 how's this coin toss gonna work out for you Joshua?

My mans really wants to finesse the summoner all the way back to Jehanna-

Legault:

"I’m your new hobby, is that it? You falling for me?"

"Why do I stick with you? Well, it's a little thing they call love."

Jdjsjs silverfox-

He's probs teasing but I think its a cute dynamic between the kinda jaded thief and the summoner who the thief thinks is a person with an "aura of downright goodness"

Libra:

HIS ENTIRE LVL 40 CONVO

"Oh, dear. It seems that you have discovered me. I was attempting to paint a portrait of you just now. I don't do this all that often, but observing you moved me...You're a captivating person—how you move, how you summon, and even your demeanor when we talk. Before I knew it, I had brush in hand. Perhaps the fact that you summoned me draws me to you...I'd like to believe that my affection for you is my own, though. I am thankful that I had this chance to share my feelings with you today. That said, do you mind if I continue to paint? I'd love to have you all to myself, even for only a short time."

sIR???

Niles:

All of Niles, but my favorites are probs:

"I tracked down the sweetest treat I could find, just for you. It looks delicious, no? Let me feed it to you."

"There is no need to hide who you are...no need to restrain yourself... when it comes to us."

^And that's just his Halloween version! Niles, unlike most heroes on this list, was not always on #TeamSummoner. His other lines mention that he served the Summoner unwillingly but now, he doesn't want to be separated from them.

i think its super adorable and i like to think that some of Niles's suggestiveness flies right the fck over the summoner's head innocently and he just?? i am going to taint you???

Lyon:

"Oh, Summoner...You are far too kind. Please don't look at me so. I want to see you smile. Always."

i am soft

and he is soft

and Summoner/Lyon is an endless cycle of pls i just want you to be happy-

Seliph:

"I would love to stroll in a market with you sometime—perhaps when our battles are done."

"I need you... in order to be me. You see? I pledge to help you any way I can, ever at your side—now and well into our future."

"I vow to work hard—until I'm strong enough to protect you."

The S in Seliph stands for Shooting his shot sjsnsjsisjh he's so attached I-

Soren:

"I don't care a whit about anything but getting back home. Being here is only temporary for me. Oh, you wonder why I haven't left of my own accord then?! It's because you...you..."

heheheheh Soren can't admit that the summoner is important to him and that's so adorable ckdmndn

its a package deal tho, you have to like Ike or no dice-

Takumi:

"I've been wondering... How do you think of me? Am I just another Hero to you Not that it matters to me. Just curious." ((Uhuh. Sure))

"Were you happy to see me when I showed up? Hope so."

My poor boy just wants to be recognized 😭😭😭And it shows in his need to be special to the summoner cjdjdj please sir mt heart-

I like to think the summoner showers him in praise, he deserves it and he might pretend like its no biggie but it makes him really happy.

Tibarn:

"I don't mind you going out on patrol, but if you move too far from my side, I can't protect you. Stay close."

"I'll never forgive you if you go and get yourself killed out there, so don't do it. Got that?"

"If you find yourself in a dire position, you can call on me. No matter what, I will fly to your aid."

hehehebebeb Its mostly me with my romantic subtext goggles on but sir I'm a sucker for this kinda dynamic where one is uber protective of the one who doesn't fight fjfjdjj

Tibarn is so strong he could probably just carry off the summoner wherever he pleases and i a m s o f t

Obviously, I'm digging for gold in sand but leT ME HAVE MY FUN-

Honorable mentions that might seem strange but I promise I have a good reason for but I didn't get to are: Henry, Raven, Ephraim, Lucius, Narcian, Chrom, Shigure, Yarne, ...Valter, Gaius-

[notallthosewho-wanderarelost]

Since it’s Tuesday and we get Loki 1x05 tomorrow and then I’m seeing Black Widow the day after, and I guess I’m doing these now, some thoughts on Loki 1x04.

Hopefully this will be a shorter post due to me not knowing wtf is going on. This show is so chaotic and it’s perfect but that makes trying to predict it impossible. How VERY LOKI OF IT.

NOPE, NOPE THIS IS NOT A SHORTER POST, I have no idea what is going on plot wise but this episode gave me a lot of character stuff to talk about apparently.

Alright, let me get the big one out of the way. I’ve already said this in various places, mostly tags, but if I’m gonna make this post it’s gotta be here. I’m uncomfortable with Loki/Sylvie being romantic. Would prefer for Marvel to stay away from selfcest. PLEASE. I’m kind of hoping and wondering if it’s a fakeout for a reveal that Loki has finally learned to love or at least accept himself through his care of and admiration for Sylvie, which would be VERY Agent of Asgard-esque and I can see it being very probable.

I think giving Loki a love interest of any kind was always going to be difficult to pull off, but especially Loki as he is at the point in time when the show finds him- fresh off his attempted takeover of Earth and probably still deeply reeling from the revelation of his adoption and also likely mentally affected by any torture and/or mental manipulation Thanos might have done on him. Loki’s self-loathing is probably still close to an all-time high here and he’s questioning who he even is. I’m not saying that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else- I don’t think that at all; in fact I think loving someone else would probably encourage someone to value themselves more- but Loki as he is here I think would need to work through some of his own issues before he could get involved with anyone else. I think that Loki would need to learn to love himself first, to accept that he’s worthy of love, before he could genuinely fall in love with anyone else. (Remember this, I’ll come back to it.)

I got major sibling vibes from Loki and Sylvie on Lamentis. Like I said last post, they felt like alternate universe twins to me. They’re the same person from different universe, but also very much not the same- I feel like twins is the closest description? I can admittedly be pretty awful at picking up romantic vibes when I’m not expecting them, but I did not get romance vibes at all.

I also feel kind of annoyed that we would never be having this conversation or having this as a canonical ship option if Sylvie hadn’t been female. Loki is now officially canonically bi, (which means Sylvie is too btw) but in comics Loki is both bi and also genderfluid. Lady Loki is just Loki when Loki is identifying as female. So having Loki fall in love with a female version of himself feels both unnecessarily heteronormative and kind of...awkward in terms of 616!Loki’s genderfluidity, to put it lightly. (Note: I am not genderfluid, this is just my opinion, please prioritize actual genderfluid people’s opinions on the subject over mine.)

That said, after I finished the episode I was genuinely confused if they were actually going there and had to go look up interviews to see what the Loki team was saying about it. I found this interview with head writer Michael Waldron, also featuring quotes from director Kate Herron and from Tom Hiddleston. Relevant quotes below:

“That was one of the cruxes of my pitch [for the series], that there was going to be a love story,” head writer Michael Waldron explains to Marvel.com. “We went back and forth for a little bit about, like do we really want to have this guy fall in love with another version of himself? Is that too crazy? But in a series that, to me, is ultimately about self-love, self-reflection, and forgiving yourself, it just felt right that that would be Loki's first real love story.”

Loki reassures her that while they might lose, they don’t die — they survive. He goes on to call Sylvie “amazing” for how she almost took down the TVA on her own, and it’s clear from the look on his face that even though they’ve only been together a short while, Loki’s already come to admire and respect her. As the moon literally crumbles around them, Sylvie places a hand on Loki’s arm, and that’s when it happens: A branch on the Sacred Timeline. These two Lokis are having a moment they were never supposed to have, which as Mobius puts it, is “pure chaos.”

“The look that they share, that moment, [it started as] a blossoming friendship,” continues Waldron. “Then for the first time, they both feel that twinge of, ‘Oh, could this be something more? What is this I'm feeling?’ These are two beings of pure chaos that are the same person falling in love with one another. That's a straight-up and down branch, and exactly the sort of thing that would terrify the TVA.”

...

“Who’s a better match for Loki than himself?” director Kate Herron chimes in. “The whole show is about identity. It's about him, and he is on a very different path, and he is on a different journey. He sees things in Sylvie that he is like, ‘Oh, I've been there. I know what you feel.’ But she's like, ‘Well, I don't feel that way.’ And I think that was the kind of fun thing about it. She is him, but she's not him. They've had such different life experiences. So just from an identity perspective, it was interesting to dig into that.”

“When Loki meets Sylvie, he's inspired solely by curiosity,” reveals Hiddleston. “He wants to talk to her and understand her and try to discern what was similar about their experiences, and what was different. He keeps asking her questions because he wants to see if his experience was also her experience. I think he realizes, and she realizes, that while they're the same, they're not the same.”

Aside from the parts where Michael Waldron says “...have this guy fall in love with another version of himself...” and “the same person falling in with another version of one another,” everything they talk about in this article could be read as Loki and Sylvie caring for each other in a way that’s not necessarily romantic. Waldron even says that the series is specifically about self-love and forgiving yourself.

(Coming back to the thing from earlier about Loki needing to love himself now.) The way I’d read Loki and Sylvie’s relationship, especially from Loki’s side since we know more of his history, is that this is the first time that either of them actually cares about themselves. Because of their trust in and their love for each other, they’re each able to see themselves as a person worthy of love. I think that’s what the Nexus Event was. I think that’s why Loki and Sylvie’s moment of connection destabilized the timeline. Because Loki’s self-loathing is a deep root of his villainy, and the sacred timeline needs Loki to be a villain, two versions of Loki feeling self-worth, at the same time and place, created a HUGE nexus event. Loki even says it himself in the first episode: he doesn’t enjoy hurting people, he does it because (he feels) he has to, in a desperate play for control. He lashes out and hurts people because he thinks it’s the only way for him to have some control over things.

What Loki starts to speak to Sylvie at the end, he says, “This is new for me,” and references the nexus event on Lamentis. We never get to hear what it is that’s new for him. The episode sets it up to make us think that Loki’s about to tell Sylvie that he’s in love with her. But I think (or hope) that he was about to say something more along the lines of how the time he spent getting to know Sylvie on Lamentis helped him learn to care about himself and see his own self worth. That’s certainly a new feeling for him, since Loki seems to have always been an outsider and been looked down upon. And actually saying out loud that he’s starting to gain a sense of self worth would definitely be new for him. Loki knows that he and Sylvie will figure this out because he’s figured out the nexus event on Lamentis- that when they accept themselves and their own self worth, they can do pretty much anything.

I think it’s also worth mentioning that we never actually hear from Loki himself that he’s in love with Sylvie. We only hear it from Mobius, who’s feeling pretty betrayed by Loki and uses the entire concept to write Loki off as a huge narcissist. That way, he won’t feel as bad about Loki betraying him, or about sticking Loki in a time loop jail. Not that Loki would be the type to shout any romantic feelings to the world, especially in this situation, but the way he kept denying it didn’t seem like it was something he had to lie about.

This episode also called Loki a narcissist a lot; I assume to set up the “reveal” of his feelings for Sylvie and explain why he would fall in love with an alternate version of himself. But while Loki is many things and sure has a lot of issues, I do NOT think narcissism is one of them. When the time loops really start to get to him, he says to Sif: “I crave attention, because I’m a narcissist. And I suppose it’s because I’m scared of being alone.” But that second sentence completely contradicts the whole idea of narcissism! According to a quick google, the definition of “narcissist” is “a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.” But Loki is the exact opposite. He has such a low opinion of himself that he acts out to get attention, because he’s so used to being overshadowed, overlooked and alone that he’s afraid that if he doesn’t do things for attention then nobody will give him any. He can be arrogant, yes, but even a lot of that stems from well-earned confidence. Loki is very talented magically and is used to being the smartest person in the room. He knows what he’s good at. But he sure isn’t attention-seeking just for its own sake. Any narcissism he’s displayed, he’s done since becoming a “villain” in Thor, and it’s actually been a mask to cover up his massive inferiority complex.

I also think it’s definitely worth mentioning that when Loki calls himself a narcissist, he’s repeating what Mobius said to him earlier. Loki clearly does care about Mobius and his opinion of him and feels bad about how things have fallen out with him. He’s also been through the time loop dozens of times now, and there’s a reason the TVA picked that memory. Because what Sif says to Loki really reflects his deepest fear. He doesn’t want to be alone, but he has such little love for himself that he might very well think he deserves to be. Loki’s emotionally exhausted at that point and just wants things to stop.

Okay. I think that covered most of my character analysis of the episode. I have some theories about Sylvie and the Time Keepers/TVA, etc, but they won’t be anywhere near as long as THAT^ was.

To start at the beginning of the episode: Sylvie’s backstory is SO SAD. I want to hug her. She spent almost her entire life on the run, growing up and living in apocalypses so the TVA wouldn’t catch her again. She didn’t deserve any of that and I’m so upset on her behalf.

Especially because as I said in another post, I think that the reason Sylvie got taken by the TVA was because she was never going to be a villain. Sylvie was kind and wanted to be heroic in the clip we see of her as a child, and she knew she was adopted. She was never going to be the Loki the TVA needed her to be for the Sacred Timeline because nothing would have ever pushed her to do what our Loki did.

The scene with Sylvie and B-15 was so good. Sylvie was kind to B-15, because her natural instinct is to be kind, and I have so many feelings about that. I love Sylvie. And then B-15 coming to the rescue to uncollar Sylvie and Loki and give Sylvie her sword was EPIC. She’s so cool.

Small aside, I got emotional seeing Asgard again in Sylvie’s flashback. I miss Asgard. :(

Also, if a kid can escape the TVA just by biting the agent holding her, the TVA have really got to step up their game. That’s kind of pathetic. Good for Sylvie though, that was very clever of her. The most juvenile yet effective tactic.

The Time Keepers being fake robots was an excellent twist, and one that I kind of saw coming as soon as they didn’t show Ravonna’s conversation with them earlier in the episode. It immediately made me feel like there were no Time Keepers at all. (And I was wondering if the no-robots rule from episode 1 would be plot relevant! I wonder if it has anything to do with the Time Keepers actually being robots?) It was also really clear that Ravonna was lying about what happened to C-20. As of now I think that Ravonna might actually be the real power behind the TVA. Or possibly a designated lieutenant to the real power behind the TVA:

When I was looking up interviews about Loki/Sylvie in this episode, I stumbled across an article about Ravonna’s comic counterpart and started kicking myself so hard for not recognizing her. In comics, Ravonna Renslayer is Kang the Conqueror’s wife. (Now, in my defense, my previous exposure to Ravonna was in Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, in which she spends most of her screentime in a coma.) For anyone who doesn’t know, Kang the Conqueror is a time traveling classic Avengers villain. His whole thing is that he time travels, and wants to take over all of time. So it’s possible that Ravonna runs the TVA to benefit Kang somehow (maybe because Kang needs a certain sequence of events to assure a future victory over the Avengers?) or even does it on his orders. Kang the Conqueror is also set to be in Antman and the Wasp: Quantumania. (Aka Antman 3.)

(I don’t know if it’s relevant, but Kang the Conqueror also happens to be the reason the Young Avengers form. The very first member, Iron Lad aka Nate Richards, is a teenage Kang who meets his future self and decides he doesn’t want to be evil, so he travels back in time to get the help of Kang’s nemeses, the Avengers. However, he lands when the Avengers have disbanded and winds up putting together a team of Avengers-affiliated teenagers instead. The team gets bigger over time and a later version of it notably includes Kid Loki. I’m not going to go off on a Young Avengers tangent here but I LOVE the Young Avengers, please read Young Avengers volume 1 by Allan Heinberg and Jim Cheung and all of its associated tie-ins. It’s fantastic. Unfortunately Kid Loki is only in volume 2, which gets a very solid “no thank you” from me but ymmv. Imo if you want Loki, read Agent of Asgard instead; I keep bringing it up for a reason and that’s because it’s amazing. Kid Loki is also in Journey into Mystery prior to his appearance in Young Avengers, and I haven’t read that yet but it looks very good.)

I’m VERY curious as to what the deal is behind the TVA. This could go a lot of different ways but they all seem exciting.

This show is definitely gearing up for a finale in which the TVA no longer exists or at least no longer decides everyone’s fates, which is exactly what I predicted back in episode 1.

Final thoughts on the episode: I was just wondering after Mobius was pruned if maybe the pruning sticks are actually teleporters of some kind, instead of time tasers, and then we got THAT CREDITS SCENE. I am so confused but also VERY EXCITED. I almost screamed when I saw Kid Loki. MY CHILD. I just had this thought but oh, I would kill for a Thori reference. Best murder dog. Classic Loki’s costume looks so terrible, it’s absolutely on purpose, and I love it.

THIS SHOW HAD BETTER END WITH MOBIUS GETTING A JETSKI. AND BOTH SYLVIE AND LOKI HAPPY.

I’ve been wondering since the show was announced if this show would somehow end with a version of the comics Kid Loki + AoA Loki storyline, where this Loki gets reborn into the main MCU as Kid/Teen Loki so he can join the Young Avengers, and I still don’t know how I feel about that, but with how things are going I can still see it happening.

LET EVERYONE WE LOVE BE HAPPY AT THE END MARVEL.

[laufire]

Supernatural s3

It’s so unfair that the season that has Ruby AND Bela is so short :(((. I was done with it waaaay too quickly, and now I’m speed running through s4 xD (which, like the first time around, is Strong Mixed Feelings territory).

-My girl Ruby!!!! I was so happy to have her back, I kept grinning like a loon every time she was on screen. It’s quite interesting watching the 1.0 and 2.0 versions so close to each other, instead of as they air. I have... Thoughts, on whether Ruby as a double agent was something planned or that they decided as they went, but that’s for the s4 post. s3!Ruby really doesn’t come across as one (“I don’t believe in the devil” oh I wish sometimes xD, I love my nonbelievers), imo, but the beauty of such a device is that you can rationalize anything she does as devious if you want to xD

And it goes without saying that I love her interactions with Sam. THIS SHIP ISTG. I love how immediately ~attuned to her he is lol, his present and instinctive concern for her even if he tries to mask his interest as “practical”. And all the repeated times Sam’s conflicted between her and Dean -like when he deviates Dean shot (wasting one of the Colt’s bullets lmfao) or during the argument about the virgin sacrifice xD. And the “that’s my boy”/ “little fallen angel on your shoulder” quotes!!! Ruby 1.0 deserved to be railed by Sam too, smh.

My favourite episode of hers is “Jus in Bello” (which would be my fave of the season just by virtue of having both Bela and Ruby in the same episode lol. Not interacting, of course, the world as we know it wouldn’t have survived). I just love that she gets that final moment of I TOLD YOU SO to the brothers xD. I really like how she expands on the demonic lore of the show- I love, LOVE the detail about how all demons used to be humans, how they’re souls corrupted in hell. And that in her past life she was a witch (there was this really good fic in Spanish fandom about it... I need to hunt it down).

BTW, though I think her interactions with Dean in that episode are interesting, it really hammers home how much I hate him sometimes xD. Can you stop saying misogynistic slurs for TWO GODDAMN MINUTES, DEAN (and as we know from as early as this season, only HE can have demon/monster friends!! What a fucking hypocrite xD). I freaking love the moment in the finale when she viciously yells him about how she wishes she could see him in hell lmao (and how it foreshadows that when she shows sympathy later, it’s actually Lilith in disguise lmfao). I hate Dean gets the last word in their dynamic, tbqh. Until the s15 cameo, at least xDD

One thing that’s been bothering me xD: the French fries. Demons are vulnerable to salt, like other spirits, right? (and hey, look what a nice piece of foreshadowing that was). How does that translate to food lol. Because Ruby adores French fries, and they obviously contain salt. It’s like spicy food for humans? Or like pineapple? Inquiring minds etc. xD

-I still cannot believe Bela Talbot was only on the show for six episodes lmao. Her presence still lingers in the watchers’ heads so much?? Which is understandable because she’s Lead Girl Material if there was ever any lol. The care with which they styled her even?? You don’t do that for just any character lmao (I mean, just look at most of SPN’s female characters for comparison xD).

Her ship with Dean could’ve really been something, too -even if I hate Dean in it, I can’t deny it packs a punch, narrative-wise. I mean, the Batcat undertones alone!! The fake married undercover shenanigans!! And I think it’s really interesting that she’s such a blind spot for him; Dean’s unusually intuitive about people, but with Bela he takes everything at face value and she can fool him like no other (while, OTOH, is Sam who questions her facade and wants to see more). If he hadn’t been such an idiot (and such an asshole) he could’ve had a really powerful ship. Sucks to be him lol.

Anyway. Man, I love her. So much. I love how Gordon’s threats to kill her don’t work on her, and I love that the show basically said “Bela killing her abusive parents is good, actually” (I’m so tired of forgiveness narratives, you guys. This entire show is founded on revenge, so let me get my revenge fantasies in peace!!) xDD. And I love, LOVE that she withheld that truth from Dean, that she decided he wasn’t worth it. OTOH, you know, fuck the fans that got her written out, definitely; but on the other, I do love how her story ended (and that it was a clear "fuck you" to shitty fans). Doesn’t stop me for wanting to read and re-read (and maybe write!) even more “Bela escapes hell” fix-its, but still.

Also, very important question: what happened to her cat?? It’s the cat alright?? I’m going to headcanon that she left them with that cougar friend of hers lol.

-So. THE DEAL. Okay. Oof. I love this storyline, a lot. A loooot. I love the conflict it creates between the brothers (as long as there’s still conflict and Sam hasn’t yet started taking everything lying down I can enjoy that part of their narrative lol). I love Dean’s initial forced giddiness about “making the most out of his last year” and I love the moment Dean decides he does want to try to live because it makes the last few episodes all the most desperate and cruel (and hey, I’ve heard he only went to hell because the season was cut short due to a writers’ strike... if that’s true that’s so funny lmao).

My absolutely favourite part however? That you can FEEL Dean’s unvoiced resentment towards Sam. For Dean having to die for him, even if Sam never asked him to. He lashes out to Sam repeatedly through the season, but it really came to ahead in the dreamspace episode, where Dean confronts another version of himself that talks about how Sam was “dotted on” (the revisionism asldfkaf). This show is absolutely ruthless when it comes to showing you its characters’ ugly, unfair reactions to things and it’s my favourite thing evah.

Speaking of the dreamspace episode, OMFG. I loved both brothers there. Dean’s hallucination, seeing himself as a demon? And how he let out his anger about John?? Beautiful, truly (regarding John, I also loved their different reactions when it looked like his spirit had contacted them: Dean jumping on it and Sam detached skepticism). But my favourite part has to be when Sam uses the villain’s abusive father against him. Like. Damn. That was cold-blooded o.0

The second-to-last episode, when Sam tracked down that Frankenstein doctor to try and make Dean immortal was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING OMG. I loved that. I love that Sam wanted to use it for both them. It was some scary shit. I also love the scene where the crossroads demon questions whether Sam really wants to break the deal, I’m gathering it’s going to be nice foreshadowing later on in the show lol.

Anyway. I also found Dean’s death scene more impactful than Sam’s. Partially because of the horror of it, but mostly because I think at this type of scenes, Padalecki is better. Sam’s grief felt more real, Dean’s got me out of the scene (it’s the voice, I think. Sometimes Ackles’ voice takes me out of scenes, it sounds... forced).

I also really enjoyed how the time loop episode wrapped around this subplot. It managed to be both heartbreaking and mind-numbly hilarious lmfao. Like?? All the deaths?? Were so pathetic?? I tip my hat to Ackles because I don’t think most actors could carry plots like this half as well lmfao.

Sidenote, it’s always a trip to see The Trickster God knowing that fucker is Gabriel. Archangel “hey Mary do you accept God knocking you up” Gabriel. Which I guess isn’t exactly a thing in this show?? Since according to the wikia SPN Jesus was “just a man” (and let me tell you, I’m tickled pink by the fact that out of ALL mythological figures, specifically all CHRISTIAN mythological figures, the show decided to go “nah” on Jesus Christ. I mean, I guess he’d take away from Dean’s, Sam’s and Castiel’s resurrection narratives, but still. It’s so funny!!).

-Gordon Walker remains a superbly acted and fascinating character with extra racist nonsense alsdkfjasdf. But I can’t deny I loved seeing him as a vampire. He was terrifying. And I’m definitely shipping him with Kubrick, ouch xD

-The Ghostfacers episode is... something. As in, incredibly exploitative and homophobic and with an egregious case of BYG (and the first where I’d say it’s incontestable to claim the trope was used. s1 and s2 are muddy territory given the circumstances, IMO, but this one is 300% BYG), but so successfully manipulative my heart hurt for Corbett and Corbett x Ed still. Fuck them for that ngl. I do still enjoy how anti-Winchesters they all are though xD

-3x01 introduces the one nice marriage of hunters so far, between a black couple. The man dies in a gross, horrifying way within the episode ofc (because he was Mean to the the brothers duh). She makes it out alive, and since she doesn’t reappear in the show she gets to live. So for now black women have a sliiiiiightly better track record in SPN than track guys there: they get to appear in a few more episodes and be more fleshed out (Victor, Gordon), but as long as they’re only in one episode they get to live!! (Cassie, Tamara).

-Rufus and Bobby are exes, right? Right?? Probably still married in some state? You know that post about how when gay marriage was legalized across the USA there were a lot of issues because some couples had split and never bothered to divorce, since it was only legal in one place? That post was made for them. Pity Rufus is a black man, and as such has a limited number of allowed appearances before he’s killed off ¬¬

-I would’ve enjoyed Dean’s moments with Lisa and Ben more (it’s just so RIGHT that in this moment he’d want Ben to be his) if my knowledge of future spoilers didn’t perpetually have me in a state of “pls keep this guy away from kids” lol.

-They had Harmony’s actress (BTVS) and they made her a vampire!! The show’s hard on for the Buffyverse is a bit of a hit and miss but I can’t say I don’t relate xDD.

-I know Jensen Ackles can sing (in fact thanks to youtube I know a few of the actors can... is there a musical episode. Does this show have its own OMWF. I need to know). So why. WHY. Does he sound like that during “Dead or Alive”??? I actually like the scene but he sounds so off-key lmao.

-BTW, I found out that apparently Katie Cassidy and Lauren Cohan originally auditioned for each other’s roles añslkdfjasf. I can’t picture it. Ruby 1.0 is Ruby 1.0 and Bela is Bela xD. Although I’ve seen each playing roles that could meld with the other, just. Nope. Good choice on the casting there lol.

[darlinvandijk]

Smile Please

Concept: Might not be too like put together since I had so many ideas coming to my mind for this. Not a request but someone said imagine being in quarantine and not being able to see Ruel and missing him, then like having him sing to you so you can fall asleep. Well I decided to do that but also put a complete darlin twist on it.(She’s also in the industry too btw) Can you tell what this is the prequel to? I hope you enjoy :)

A sigh escapes my lips as I stare at my laptop screen, Netflix asking if I’m still watching for the 15th time today, like I’d be doing anything else. Every single day is a blur of Netflix, naps, FaceTime calls, and YouTube binging. Oh, and absolutely no human contact.

I roll over on to my stomach as I hear my phone buzz, praying that it’s someone trying to talk to me, rather than getting another meaningless social media notif. My heart skips a beat as I see my boyfriend texting me, nothing but excitement filling me as I see the word FaceTime. Only to be filled with dread as I think about how I look, having put in absolutely zero effort the last few days, because I mean who’s going to see me?

I toss my phone on to my bed, telling Ruel to give me a few minutes, before launching myself into my closet. I rip off my stained sweats and hoodie, before realizing I haven’t done any laundry in a week. I rip a pair of shorts out of the pile on my floor throwing them on, before grabbing my secret hoodie that I always keep hidden. The hoodie that Ruel has no clue about, because if he did, well he’d lose his mind. Desperate times call for desperate measures though.

“Hi baby, you’re looking beautiful as always” Ruel sweetly says, instantly answering my call as I lay back down on my bed, still keeping my body out of sight from him. Upon hearing his sweet words, I bring my hand up to cover my face, not wanting him to see the red hue taking over. He laughs at my actions before freezing, staring at me with a look I can’t quite figure out, the smile from his face completely gone. “Babe, what are you wearing right now?” he practically shrieks at me, his eyes now glaring at me with complete betrayal filling them. Betrayal that could have been avoided if I just answered shirtless.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Rueloff, anyways, how’s your day going?” I question, my eyes looking anywhere but him. My question is met with silence, a haunting silence that causes chills to run down my spine. “That’s great to hear, you’ve had a fun day huh, well let me tell you about my day, so I took 5 naps today, I know right less than usual, I also watche-“ I immediately blurt out, seeing Ruel try to open his mouth to talk, his eyes now drilling holes into the visible hoodie.

“You told me you hadn’t seen that sweater since the Paris show! You stole my sweater and didn’t tell me for 7 months?” He cries out, waving his hands around the air in distress, thinking about the all the lies I spewed about his favorite hoodie. “You told me it must’ve been misplaced when we left the venue, because and I quote, you had seen it on the couch. You’re a thief. My own girlfriend is a snake” he whines, shoving his face into a pillow, grumbling more things about how I can never be trusted again.

“I asked you to let me wear it and you always told me no, I did what I needed to do. You know this is my favorite one” I mumble, playing with the sleeves that go past my hands. He gives me an incredulous look, wondering how I’m able to turn this against him so fast, not knowing I’ve been preparing for this since the day I shoved it into my underwear section of my bag. “I can give it back if you want, I just like it because it smells the most like you.” I whisper, looking into his eyes finally with a pout, knowing it’ll win him over. As soon as the pout forms, his eyes are instantly drawn to my lips, his eyes softening at the gesture.

“You’re such an asshole, trying to guilt me for wanting my favorite hoodie back, but fine. Keep it, I guess you look better in it than I ever did pretty girl” he groans, unable to keep the smile off of his face as he sees my body drowning in his hoodie. I lean against my headboard laughing, my phone set up on my night stand, completely oblivious to the beautiful boy watching me. Ruel sits there in awe, eyes wandering over every inch of me, his expression softening by the second. “You truly are stunning though sweetheart, so fucking stunning” he breathes out, gaze unwavering when I look at him, my heart stuttering as I take in the look he’s giving me.

“I miss you” I tell him, as I lay down and pull a blanket over my body, the heartache of not being able to see each other fully kicking in. He lets out a deep breath, feeling useless as he watches me wipe my eyes, knowing there’s nothing he can do to fix this. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kill the mood. It’s just been hard without you lately, but I know we have to stay home for a good reason, it just sucks” I whimper, my voice cracking as I try to keep my tears at bay, feeling more emotion than usual because of how late it is.

“It’s okay, don’t apologize love. You didn’t say anything wrong, this social distancing thing does suck, but before we know it you’ll be back in my arms again yeah?” He questions, trying to lighten the mood, only ending up with a frown as he watches the tears finally fall down my face. He gives me a few moments to gather myself, watching as I grab some tissues, my ragged breathing the only sound filling the air. “Don’t cry bubba, please don’t cry. I miss you more than anything, you know that. You also know that it breaks my heart to see you cry, think you can give me a little smile please? Might die if you don’t ” He dramatically whines out, covering his face with his hands, putting on the biggest show possible. I don’t see it, but as soon as I laugh at my boyfriends dramtic performance, a smile spreads across his lips, pride filling him as he gets me to cheer up a little.

He lays down in the same position as me, both of us facing our phones as we look at one another, a comfortable silence settling over us. My eyes wander over his messy grown out hair, looking at his mustache that he takes so much pride in, and looking at the necklace hanging out of his hoodie. The necklace that holds the plain band version of my promise ring that he got me, saying that it was unfair if I was the only one that got to have “major drip”. As my eyes wander, I subconsciously start playing with the drawstring of my hoodie, not noticing the way his eyes instantly get drawn to my promise ring, love filling his heart as he watches the small diamond in the middle sparkle in the light.

“I can’t wait till I can change that ring to a real one” he muses, picturing the day he’ll get to switch out my ring with the one he already knows he’s going to get when the times right. My eyes widen at his confession, my heart speeding up as I hear the seriousness in his voice. “Even if it means having to wait until I can finally catch a break from all of this” he mumbles, getting caught up in his head, thinking about how nonstop his life seems to be, wondering if he’ll actually ever have the freedom to settle down. Or if it’ll make me runaway before he can even get the chance.

“One day bub, one day. I promise.” I smile at him, knowing my reassurance about what our future holds puts him at ease, his biggest fear that I’ll leave from not being able to handle what comes with being together. “I know you get worried that your career and you being gone a lot will make me not want this anymore, but I promise that won’t happen. No empty love or empty promises here, I’m not that shallow bub. Your career is important to you and me, I’ll never let it get in the way of us” I tell him, watching as he nods his head with a small frown. He starts to fiddle with the ring, sliding it around the chain before looking up at me with a curious look.

“Do you ever get worried? That this will become too much and the nonstop lifestyle of it will just do more harm than good. I can’t think of my future without you in it, but this is a lot to deal with” he questions, concern flashing through his eyes, my gaze catching on to the slight shake of anxiety in his hands. “Once this pandemic is up I’m gone again, more shows and interviews. I just don’t want it to hurt us, because you’re my priority. That’ll never change. I just don’t want you faking that it’s okay, when I know it bothers you” he rants, running a hand through his already messy locks, the stress of the future already taking over his mind.

“I promise we’ll be okay. Your career will never be too much for me, if you can put up with mine and my random traveling for shows and interviews, then I’ll support you and your career.” I reason with him, watching him nod his head, still not fully convinced with my answer. I softly call his name, making him look me in the eyes, seeing the absolutely confident look I give him. “You’re always going to be a priority, your career and mine can’t change that. I’ll never fake anything or tell you something that isn’t true” I state, watching his shoulders sag in relief, my words finally easing the anxiety he’s feeling. He takes a few moments to think before giving me a final nod, deciding that I convinced him enough that his career won’t scare me away.

“I know, I know. I just get worried, we’re both in an industry where everything is just so fake, you can’t ignore the fabrication.” he quietly says, both of us thinking about the things that truly happen behind the scenes, the things the fans don’t know about. “You’re right though, we’ll be fine. I love you and you love me, that’s all the matters. It’s all we need to make this work” he confirms, giving me a boyish grin. I let out a laugh at his smile, before a yawn takes over, making my eyes water as the fatigue of being up so late finally kicks in.

“I’m getting bubba, but I don’t want to hang up” I whine, as I cuddle further into his hoodie, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I watch him with droopy eyes, trying my hardest to stay awake with him, knowing he wouldn’t be going to bed anytime soon. “Can sing for me? I miss hearing you” I mumble, my words incoherently forming a thought that he understands, a quiet laugh escaping his mouth as he hears it.

“Go to sleep baby, I won’t hang up.” he promises, watching as I get more comfortable. Once I stop shifting around, he gets comfortable, and decides to sing the one song he knows always helps me sleep. “I will always love you how I do, Let go of a prayer for you, Just a sweet word, The table is prepared for you” he softly sings out, his voice over the speaker filling my room, slowly lulling me to sleep, my mind filled with nothing but thoughts of love and adoration for him.

I’m already asleep by the time he finishes, not seeing the way he watches me with a small smile, not being able to hear the last few thijge he utters before letting himself also drift off to sleep. Not knowing the weight his words would truly hold in the future.

“I love you sweetheart, nothing will ever get between us, I promise. Our love is deep enough, we can handle it.”

[fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-liar]

Introduction Post!!!

Hey everyone! I figure that now that I have a Tumblr account, I should introduce myself to my fellow Tumblr users. Because why not??

First of all, I don’t think it’s too hard to ask to not be a douchebag, so don’t be one. Plain and simple. Secondly, I am staying away from politics on this blog, because I (as well as many others) use Tumblr for escapism. I don’t want to bog Tumblr down with real life stuff. 

Okay, now the fun stuff!! :D

Likes/Hobbies: 

Reading - I've been a big reader since I was 2/3 years old. When I was younger, one of the biggest things you could do to piss me off was to not like reading (TBH, it still pisses me off a l’il if people don’t like to read, but I’ve been working on trying not to get as annoyed by it - after all, respect people’s opinions). Have a book rec for me? Want a book rec from me? Let me know! WE COULD FORM A VIRTUAL BOOK CLUB

Musical Theater - in love with Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Heathers, and Six (which is criminally underrated, BTW). I’m kinda mixed on Be More Chill. 

My friends actually deterred me from musical theater because they quoted/sung/talked about Hamilton NON-STOP (I promise I’m not this annoying) - Cut to Hamilton dropping on Disney+, and now I’m Hamiltrash

Dear Evan Hansen was the first musical I actually got obsessed with after reading the novelization.

Saw a “Candy Store” and then “Beautiful” animatic & now I’m part of the Heathers fandom

Heard Annapantsu’s cover of “All You Wanna Do,” thought Six sounded interesting, heard the Aimie Atkinson version, fell in love. Then heard “Don’t Lose Ur Head” on Spotify - Became a hardcore fan after hearing those two songs 

I wanted to like Be More Chill because out of all the musicals, the plot of BMC sounded the most interesting. I like some of the songs (mainly “Be More Chill Pt. 1,” “A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into,” “Michael in the Bathroom,” and “The Smartphone Hour [Rich Set a Fire]”), and everyone’s (both OG Cast & Broadway) vocals are great, but a lot of the songs aren’t doing it for me

Musicals to get into: Beetlejuice, Mean Girls (I enjoy “Meet the Plastics” though), Hadestown

Animation (too bad I can’t draw) - say what you want about Disney not putting in any effort with their movies anymore (live-action remakes and garbage sequels, I’m looking at you), Disney TVA is still as great as ever (and other non-Disney animated shows are obviously great as well) Animated fandoms:

Kim Possible

Phineas & Ferb

Gravity Falls

DuckTales 2017

Tangled: The Series

Mickey Mouse (2013)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

The Dragon Prince

The Amazing World of Gumball

Wanna get into Hilda, BoJack, She-Ra, & Amphibia

Other TV shows! - currently watching Community (which is like my comfort show) and Middleditch & Schwartz. Also started Anne with an E (it’s better than books, which I already thought were pretty awesome?? That almost never happens??). Wanna get into the Schur-verse as well (Parks & Rec, The Good Place, Brooklyn 99)

Mythology!! - gotta be honest, not a huge fan of Greek (feel like I’m overexposed to it), but Aztec mythology, Incan mythology, Norse mythology, and differing myth systems of Africa/Polynesia/Native Americans? Yes please! And since I’m Hindu, I’ve been raised on lots of Hindu epics & myths, so I’ve got kind of a bias towards Hindu mythology as well. Know any fun myths? Lemme know! Let’s chat!!

Random stuff/misc. - trivia (love Trivia Crack, part of Scholastic Bowl); recently started writing short stories (both fanfic and not fanfic); also Disney (hate the company’s policies, but I still follow literally everything regarding their upcoming projects and find easter eggs/trivia in/about each of their movies); podcasts (listening to The Darkest Timeline with Ken Jeong and Joel McHale - same with the books/myths, if y’all got any more podcast recs for me, let me know!); Among Us; chocolate

Okay, so.

I was gonna do a dislikes section, but that’s no fun. Also, this post is long enough, and it’s a quarter till eleven right now and I have to get ready early tomorrow. So, I’m just gonna post this as it is - I hope you got to know me better! Hopefully I can come back and edit it, lol, because knowing me I definitely forgot a lot of stuff

[lilolilyr]

Hey again! 27, 28, and 35 for the AO3 ask meme, if you please! :)

Ao3 ask

27. Favorite quote from one of your fics

I don't knowww, I have the memory of a goldfish I swear... like, I vaguely remember re-reading some of my fics and really liking them, and also liking scenes I write, but... do I still remember which parts exactly? No. Do I feel like going through the 700k words on my ao3? Also no xD sorry! I rly want to start making a doc with all my fav quotes, or maybe a tumblr tag, but that hasn't really happened yet So I'm doing what I've done before when getting this or similar asks, clicking a random fic and choosing my fav quote from that one in particular! (... note to self: I should start at least tagging these with sth so I can find them again lmao)

From Andromache's POV in 'Love me, Darling (Please Survive)':

She doesn't believe in a God- has seen how too many of the stories people believe in were created, how little they had to do with miracles at all. Goodness, they even worshipped her for a while, thought her a benevolent god even, when in reality all she brought them was war.

28. Still remember a favorite comment?

I vaguely remember someone positvely comparing my podfics to professional audio books/voice actors? And it was on one of my old fics that in retrospect... well, let's just say my newer works are better xD (at least the ones I really worked on, I do also still sometimes phone-record short one takes that aren't as great quali-wise but I just wouldn't make them at all if it'd mean starting another damn Project), so I'm even more proud of my newest works, because if someone liked the not so good parts that much already... :D

Taking podfic prompts too btw, tho I rarely get any! Anything rated G-T that I can do in a quick onetake (<5k) is likely to get done soon, anything longer or if someone only wants sth completely edited can also be prompted but I'm less likely to do it anytime soon

35. Favorite story you've written?

My 50+k Andromaquynh series "Just you and me - until the end!" Especially the longfic (30k) first part "In Your Stead". In general all of my fav stories are my finished(-ish) longer series (probably because I'm more likely to really work on them with several draft versions until I'm rly satisfied with a fic), also Andromaquynh "Life Leans Our Way" and my Good Omens shortfic series! JYAM(IYS) is just the newest one and atm closest to my heart :)

There are also some short fics I really like (and can read without cringing at them or wanting to change parts again, which I can't say for all fics lmao, I post things even when they're not perfect because otherwise I wouldn't manage to post them all, but that also means that I don't exactly like all of them), my latest Bering&Wells fic "The Grey of Memories" is rly soft IMO, for some reason almost all my Milippa fics (Star Trek), and also some smut fics like Andronilyh "So Soft, Our Love".

(Ao3 lilolilyrae - I'll link all the fics in a 'mo, don't want tumblr to eat the draft lol done xD)

Thanks so much for the ask!!! <3

Ao3 ask

[marvella15]

Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 4: Top Hat

• So we’ve reached Top Hat, which is generally everyone’s favorite including @elloette​​​. Even many film historians say it’s the best Astaire/Rogers film. And it’s definitely one of the best but not the best imo. It does however have some of my favorite dances and songs and probably the most famous dance Astaire and Rogers ever created. 

• Top Hat is kind of like a more sophisticated version of Gay Divorcee. It also has probably the best example of the Big White Set that was ubiquitous to these films. If I’m not mistaken they dyed the water black to make the set stand out more *goes to check IMDB* yep!

• Our characters/actors: Jerry Travers (Fred Astaire), Dale Tremont (Ginger Rogers), Horace Hardwick (Edward Everett Horton), Madge Hardwick (Helen Broderick), Alberto Beddini (Erik Rhodes)

• I never realized it before but Horace and his valet are like a bickering old couple. In many ways, they make far more sense as a pair than Horace and Madge.

• I’m back again to gush about Astaire’s singing. He slides effortlessly into “No Strings (I’m Fancy Free)” straight from the dialogue, and it sounds perfectly natural. Like the way hb and I integrate Parks and Rec quotes into everyday dialogue, but obviously Astaire is a bit fancier. 

• His line about feeling like a sailor at sea is fitting since, in his next film, he will indeed be a sailor. 

• This is a favorite solo routine for sure. He’s just so joyful and in the groove. I especially like when he taps out the beat on the side table and startles Horace with short burst of taps. 

• Horace thinks he’s such hot shit that some random young woman has come to see him at his hotel late at night. 

• Astaire didn’t think he was handsome and didn’t enjoy watching himself on screen, hence the grimace when he looks in the mirror, which is played for a laugh. But that opinion runs contrary to Astaire’s place as one of the leading men of Hollywood and as one part of some of the most romantic moments in film history, primarily with Rogers. It lends credence to Katharine Hepburn’s famous saying that Astaire gave Rogers “class,” and she gave him “sex” (metaphorically). He’s arguably never sexier than when dancing with Ginger Rogers. 

• When Dale comes upstairs to tell him to shut up, she gives zero effs. Doesn’t care that he’s trying to be charming or funny, or that he’s sorry for waking her, or that he’s flirting with her, doesn’t care about him at all in any way. Just shut up so I can sleep, is her message. 

• But then. She is charmed by his soft shoe dance on a sandy floor to lull her to sleep. 

• Spotted: young Lucille Ball as the florist’s assistant. We’ll see her in the next movie too where she’ll have her first ever credited roll. 

• Astaire’s face when he asks, “Don’t I even get any thanks?” is so heartfelt and open. It always makes me awwwwwwww. 

• Another favorite line of dialogue from these films:

Jerry, holding an umbrella in a downpour: “May I rescue you?”

Dale, unimpressed: “No, thank you. I prefer being in distress.”

• “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” is a flirtatious song and they act it that way but the true flirting comes in the dance, which is about partnership and equality. They imitate one another throughout the scene, starting even while Astaire is singing. Rogers puts a hand on her chest and he then does the same. They’re dressed alike as well, thanks to her riding outfit, and that furthers the theme by making her more masculine to match him but it’s also advantageous for some of the moves they’ll perform, such as when she lifts him. 

• Jerry thinks he’s in control. He’s surprised, but pleased, to find Dale has gotten up and followed him as he begins to dance. He thinks he’s won her over. Then she mocks him a bit by sticking her hands in her pockets like he’s done and surprises him even more by busting out her own little extra tap. She’s telling him she’s not there just to follow his lead and any relationship between them will only work if they’re equals. 

• They’re definitely testing each other in this dance, finding out if they are drift compatible. Trying this step and that to see if the other can keep up. She keeps glancing at him in a self-satisfied way. He crosses his arms to see if she’ll do the same. They circle the space mirroring each other with every movement, and while they’re in sync, it’s still like one is leading and the other is following. Until they clap in unison, skip forward, and land at the exact same time. They spin around neatly and he glances over, smiling in pleasure, and so is she. 

• The first time they touch is over a minute and a half in and it’s only to lend a hand so each can twirl in turn. They glide forward and back in a wide loop as the music builds and now they’re smiling in earnest and it’s not just the characters; it’s Astaire and Rogers. He mouths something to her, maybe more than once, and they’re both clearly enjoying themselves. 

• It’s only in the last 30 seconds or so that they actually touch for real, and it’s because she has crooked her arm in invitation. He spins them around the bandstand together and although it’s a fairly standard move Astaire uses a lot, because they’re both in trousers, you can see just how close they are to one another, knees and hips pressed together. 

• And now they combine both elements of the dance: imitation and partnership. They move as reflections of one another and take turns lifting each other. During this portion is where you once again can see the acting stop and the actors just being themselves. As they near the end of the dance, Astaire and Rogers both grin in delight and he maybe looks especially proud of her. This was a technical dance with a lot of movement and she nails it. While her gowns often add to their duets, it’s routines like this, where she’s in trousers, that you can see her technical skill really shine. 

• One of the many ways Rogers contributed to the dancing partnership was in being their “button finder,” which means she was good at figuring out how to end a scene or dance. The best example is at the end of this dance, where she came up with the idea for them to finish by having Jerry and Dale simply shake hands.

• Don’t miss the sex joke in the middle of Horace and Jerry’s argument: 

Horace, who is concerned about scandal ahead of Jerry’s show: “Why, I’d rather have had it (getting slapped) happen to me than to you.”

Jerry, not missing a beat: “Oh, of course, if you enjoy that sort of thing.”

Horace: “I do, immensely… (realizing what he’s just said) Now don’t be absurd!”

• Dale’s line, “I hate men. I hate you. I hate all men!” is a mood. 

• Beddini’s response, “I am no man. I am Beddini!” is how all men think of themselves. 

• Interesting that all we’ve seen Dale and Jerry do is dance a very fun, flirtatious, but not necessarily romantic duet (ok, fine it was in a bandstand while it was raining which is pretty romantic but you get it), and yet she says, “How could he have made love to me when he was married all the time?” 🤔🤔🤔

Further 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Horace: “You sure you didn’t forget yourself in the park? 

Jerry: “Positive. If I ever forgot myself with that girl, I’d remember.” 

• Seriously, there are some vibes between Horace and his valet. *gaydar pings very quietly out of earshot of the censors*

• I like Astaire’s little warm-up in his dressing room. Seems like the kind of thing he probably did irl. 

• One of my absolute favorites moments is when Jerry instructs Horace to charter a plane so they can fly down to meet Dale. Horace asks, “What kind of plane?” And Jerry, already about to miss his stage cue, leans back into the doorway quickly to say, “One with wiiiings!” 

• The physical “invitation” Jerry uses when singing the appropriate line in “Top Hat, White Tie and Tails” is actually Madge’s telegram about Dale. He took it on stage with him after snatching it from Horace’s hands. 

• There are conflicting stories about how many canes Astaire broke while filming this sequence and which take was used. One account says he broke 12 canes in frustration while failing to get the number absolutely right and the 13th (and last cane) was used in the final take, which was then printed. But Astaire recalled that Jimmy Cagney, who was visiting the set at the time, advised him that he’d nailed it on the second take. Astaire wanted to try a couple more but the next day, agreed that Cagney was right and the second take was used. 

• Shooting down his rivals with a cane and using taps for bullets was based on a gimmick Astaire had used years before in a terrible Broadway show. Here it became one of his most iconic creations. I especially like when he fires off a shot at the Horace’s stuffy club members in the audience. 

• How on earth did Dale think that Jerry was married to Madge? In what world are they compatible? Granted, she hasn’t actually met Horace but still. 

• While Horace is in the bathtub in his shower cap:

Horace: “Jerry! I don’t think it’s safe for you to see that girl alone.”

Jerry: “Well, I don’t think it would be quite proper for you to receive her that way.”

• In most Astaire/Rogers movies, he has a lot of bravado and pursues her but she almost always ends up shocking the hell out of him when she turns out to also be ballsy af. In Gay Divorcee, she invited him to her room. In Top Hat, she comes up to see him alone and then kisses him. 

Hardly a romantic kiss btw. But we still aren’t to the place where we talk about the lack of kisses in this film series. 

• Aaaaaand again, Astaire’s singing is so perfect for this song. He leads straight from conversation into the lyrics. The music has already been playing in the background, and he makes it appear he’s created the lyrics of “Cheek to Cheek” just for her in this moment. 

• Rogers does a magnificent job of softening when he starts to sing. Her eyes flick up and down his face, touched that he’s serenading her. And when Astaire drops his tone on the word “seek,” his gaze is heated for a just a moment and her lips quirk a little. Being sung to is awkward but she makes it seem like the most romantic thing.

• Like in “Night in Day” in Gay Divorcee, this dance is about seduction but its more developed than in the prior film. Because the characters have already danced together, elements of “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” seep in, such as the short tap routine they do side by side. Instead of getting her to simply give in to him, he is asking her to trust him, to remember the equality and partnership they’d built before. He almost never takes his eyes off her for the entire dance, even watching her out of the corner of his eye when they’re side by side. 

• I would say most of this dance falls into the “acting” category but there are a couple Astaire and Rogers moments that peek through. After the first time he leans her back and them brings them together so their faces are close, he smiles privately to her. After their little tap section, he swings her back into his arms and they’re both smiling in delight. 

• A few times the only place they’re touching is his hand on her back and there’s something very Victorian hot about that.

• I’ve always liked the moment where she twirls and he waits, hand outstretched, expression openly adoring, until she takes his hand without looking and they’re in sync again. 

• Another callback to “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?”: In that dance, she crooked her arm in invitation to him. Here, she leaves her arm up so he can wrap it around his neck. 

• Several times he leans her back, each time dipping her a little further and keeping her there a little longer, but never failing to hold her and bring her up. Each time showing her she can trust him. When they reach the climax, she bends back completely and he holds her for several looooong seconds before very slowly returning her to her feet. Complete surrender and trust from them both. And after that moment, there is no need for anything else to cement their relationship. He can simply bring them cheek to cheek. 

• Something that is evident in most of his partnered dances but perhaps most obvious in a duet like this with Rogers is that Astaire was very good about making his partner the central focus. Your eyes instinctively watch Rogers, not him, throughout the performance. But credit must also be given to Rogers herself for commanding the screen so thoroughly not solely because of her elegant dancing and gorgeous gown but because she remembers to keep acting the entire time. We never doubt that Dale is falling in love with Jerry through this dance.

• Sooo the feather dress. So much to say, some of which you may already know:

The short story is, as soon as they started filming the dance, the feathers on the dress flew everywhere. No one wanted that dress to be used, except Ginger Rogers, and she refused to wear something else. 

Director Mark Sandrich, who was a dick to Rogers all the time, wanted her to wear a gown from Gay Divorcee. She told him to GTFO. Then she called her badass mom who came to the set to also tell him to GTFO. 

Because they could be little shits, Astaire and Hermes Pan made up lyrics mocking the dress, set to the tune of "Cheek to Cheek.” They went, "Feathers, I hate feathers, And I hate them so that I can hardly speak, And I never find the happiness I seek, With those chicken feathers dancing cheek to cheek."

Rogers was pissed, not in the least because she had designed the dress herself and also they were ostrich feathers tyvm. Tbh it does look pretty magnificent in the final edit of the film… but that was after every single feather had been hand sewn into place. And you can still see some of them float off.  

In their next film, Astaire is going to get whacked in the face by the heavy, beaded sleeve of Rogers’ dress so he really had it easy here. 

He also knew he’d gone too far in poking fun at her dress and generally being an ass about the entire situation. Astaire apologized to Rogers by giving her a gold feather for her charm bracelet and affectionately calling her “Feathers” in the accompanying note (“Dear Feathers, I love ya! -Fred”). The nickname stuck. Later, he would also give her a beautiful travel watch that was housed in a golden envelope. Engraved on the outside of the envelope in Astaire’s writing? “By Hand/To Feathers/All best love -Fred.” 

• The dress is absolutely essential to the dreamy quality of this dance. It makes her look like she’s floating along, caught up in being in love and in his arms. She even seems to come out of a daydream once they’ve finished dancing. 

• The plot and dialogue jump through so many hoops to avoid Madge ever once saying, “my husband’s friend, Jerry,” which would clear up everything instantly.

• Interesting that when Dale reminisces sadly about her love for Jerry, whom she doesn’t think she can actually be with, the tune that plays is “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” and not “Cheek to Cheek.” High romance is lovely but sometimes nothing beats being able to laugh and have fun together.  

• Horace and Jerry have been sharing the bridal suite, as it was the only room available when they arrived. But now that Dale has impulsively agreed to marry Beddini, the management asks if Jerry and Horace would be wiling to give up the suite in exchange for a different room.

Jerry: “Well, we’ve hardly settled in it yet… Have we, angel?”

Horace: “No, and all our clothes are...(realizing Jerry is teasing him) Oh, please.”

• Upon finally realizing what’s actually been going on with Dale:

Jerry: “She’s been mistaking me for Horace all this time.”

Madge: “No wonder she thought Horace was fascinating.”

Horace: “Heh, no wonder. (then immediately) I resent that.”

• Perhaps poking fun at the way dances had been filmed until he took charge, Astaire and Rogers’ portion of “The Piccolino” starts with a close up of their feet. But instead of then cutting to a full body shot, the shot widens to show them and the dance continues all in one take. 

• This may be a strange place to talk about how right Astaire and Rogers look together but I’m gonna do it anyway. Their heights are very complimentary and they move like extensions of one another. The routine is quick and bouncy, incorporating several styles and switching between them rapidly. Throughout, Astaire and Rogers elevate one another with their individual grace and skill. That element is only going to continue to grow in the next couple of films. 

• At one point he whips around to pull her in so they can spin like they did in the bandstand. As she waits for him, Rogers’ face lights up and they go into the move smiling wide. Soon after, Astaire playfully raises his eyebrows to her. At another point, they step forward slowly, eyes on each other, and there’s a glimpse of that private world they sometimes slip into during their dances. The whole time, they’re absolutely flawless. 

• It wouldn’t have made sense to record the taps, etc live like “I’ll Be Hard to Handle” in Roberta but I wonder what might’ve been picked if they had. Aside from when they clap and there’s no sound, Astaire says something to her when they’re dancing in a circle facing each other. She definitely seems to be giggling at several points. 

• When the music kicks up and they go into an energetic section, he bows and flourishes his hand to her, once again making her the main focus. 

• While filming the final scene of the movie, Sandrich (the director) wanted the duo to do a short ending dance and he told them this on the day of filming. Astaire and Rogers were peeved. Every bit of dancing, no matter how small, was always rehearsed. But Sandrich, who, again, was a dick, insisted. According to Rogers, she privately told Astaire to simply move her about however he wanted and she would follow along.  In all likelihood, they probably did whip up this little dance and rehearse it quickly but you’d never know it wasn’t planned ahead of time.

She obviously had a lot of trust in his ability to lead them both but she also knew he was an excellent social dancer, meaning he didn’t necessarily need a pre-rehearsed routine. And she knew this because they’d gone dancing back in New York when they were dating. 

• Here’s a cool behind the scenes picture from The Academy’s archive taken during the final scene.

• And so we’ve finished Top Hat, another glamorous adventure for Astaire and Rogers. Up is a more working class outing: Follow the Fleet. 

[souvercine]

hey y’all ! i’m jia and i’m super excited for opening; i have two super clingy cats in case any of you ever need a visual pick-me-up, i’m a uni student in canada and a big skincare and dark chocolate junkie, more than likely gonna be typing replies while indulging in either jsyk !

tried to keep it short since i’m a rambly bitch, but xan’s basic stats and a proper wc page will be up soon as i just got home from grocery shopping and we open in an hour as of typing this, the theme as a whole will get a refresh eventually and i’ll be posting a little tracklist for her playlist later ! and if tumblr ims are as much of a nuisance for you as they can be for me, you can add me on d*scord at genuinely sick of this shit#2030 if you’d like to plot ! anyways, without further ado:

( samantha logan , cis female , she/her, twenty-four ) omg ! i was walking yonge street downtown , and you’ll never guess who i saw . xanthe lowe ! i just saw a post about them on sixsecrets ! i think it said something like “ when they go high, she goes lowe ! xan spotted leaving a gala with her former friend’s ex, after last week’s reportedly tense exchange between the girls ” . isn’t that wild ? i guess it makes sense through , since they’re apparently merciless and imperious . but i’ve heard they’re also conspicuous and astute ! i’ll just stick to giving them the benefit of the doubt . i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous socialite ! you know , i’ve actually heard rumors that redacted , but they’re just rumors … i think . i dunno . if you happen to run into them , tell them i’m their biggest fan !

tw: drug mention

when i tell you that i have so many muse posts i’m holding back on for this bitch —

which, btw, will all slowly see the light of day soon enough bc god knows i can’t articulate my muses’ personalities as well as i’d like so that shit makes up for it fdgslk

her parents’ eldest child together, xanthe’s also the oldest out of her and her siblings

also, never call her xanthe. friend or otherwise, don’t take the risk dklgsjdlk

grew up with a silver spoon, her dad being a wall street giant and her mother being an entrepreneur with a love for art ( so much so that her two partners after separating from xan’s dad were artists themselves sdlkgj )

thus she split her time between toronto and manhattan even before her parents’ divorce, she merely spent more time jetting back and forth for special occasions and vacations compared to when her parents were still together

mind you, she was probably still in the single digits when that became a new normal for the brat

basically could’ve been a main character on gossip girl with her reckless antics and partying as a teenager…. and now, even sgdlkf

drk how to elaborate on that, aside from stressing that from her teen years onward she’s presented her own take of a rich bitch, and is a socialite/fashion week regular type if i were to describe where she stands rn

i think a good mix of references would be nicky hilton meets the delevingne sisters meets blair waldorf and sabrina pemberton’s lovechild

she attended an ivy league at the behest of her father so he had at least one child who could take a senior position in his company simply to keep it in the family

.. before he realized what a Mistake™ it would be to put that responsibility on xan and now has her slightly older cousin as a backup instead GDSLFJKS but nonetheless !

isn’t the most studious person, but she somehow wound up graduating with a major in communications and a marketing minor

she reasoned that, with her reputation in the gta and nyc, she’d need the bit of knowledge in how to clean up her messes. even if she wasn’t the one who had that responsibility

though.. the entire time has been spent sleeping with some of her rich friends, drinking and smoking pot, with the occasional hit of whatever clean enough drug that one of her friends had on them

as of now, she’s pissing off her neighbours with her house parties wherever she might be at a given time, staying in the good graces of the media as a budding, fun yet classy heiress — despite doing dumb shit the second she’s inside of a gala or club

uhhh ik i had something else to add but a quick break for dinner messed that up, rip LKGFSJD

personality and shit

her little blurb on my indie is: refined party girl still set in her ways with her future left uncompromised; detached and pretentious, she soaks up the attention that continues to roll in

which. we’ve basically been over already lkdfsg but still

if i were to use a label to describe her, she’d be the sovereign

she’s messy as hell, but puts on the façade of a poised woman who has some fun because she knows it bodes well

she’s not a complete dick per se, but she can be snide and boastful

big superiority complex, independent and lives lavishly with reckless abandon

probably jets back and forth between nyc and the gta as it’s her version of normal, so ig she hates the environment if it means not having things go her way !

non-committal as all hell and will abandon girl code if she drops you fgkljfs

.. fr, she’ll fuck an ex-friend’s ex if she technically saw them first, so being spiteful and resolving some past attraction ?? right up her alley !

hence the choice of headline gdfslkj

keeps her true inner circle small, but gets off on attention and likes to stay cordial with some people, so she’s got quite a few friends all the same

she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her image and won’t hesitate to throw anyone under the bus to do so/in retaliation if they screw her over

which happens to mean that her family is to be protected as well. fuck with any of her sisters ?? you’re done ! try to call out one of her brothers on twitter ? she’ll quote it with a single clown emoji as a warning

there really isn’t much to expand on tbh, though i will say that her emboldened nature and need for a good time however she can get it comes out more than her uglier side ( except her vanity. that’ll never go away ksfdg )

some quick plot ideas

a childhood friend or two that she made in either of her main hubs or through events she attended when she was young, whether they’re still friends or not for x reasons can be discussed of course

could carry over into a trio type of thing depending on where she stands with either of them, or they’re a different couple of pals she’s made in the last few years

enemies are always fun ! probably rooted in a competitive streak more than anything else but i’m all ears for a more complex reason

ex-hookup(s), current hookup(s), throw it all at me klgfjd

a hateship/ewb would be fun with her too, oh my god sfdgklj

it should go without saying that they are all relatively wealthy or well-connected kids here, but that doesn’t mean that someone who’s using her for their fifteen seconds of fame, or just to get some perks out of their friendship, is necessarily a write-off — not that she cares too much about fake friends, face value hype and knowing they need her more than she needs them gives her too much satisfaction fkskgls

an ex-something, open to anyone. either someone her parents forced on her to straighten her out that she wound up liking…. after a good period of her telling them to fuck off sdglk or someone she’d been seeing for a while at her own accord. would’ve ended the same way: with her calling it off because she didn’t want to settle down, not even for a relationship ( and perhaps bc she’s scared of commitment with her cracked family dynamic that’s been a thing since age two, but that’s another story jsdfkg )

[izzyovercoffee]

Hm... hi? Sorry for any inconvenience, but I started reading RepComm (I'm at the beginning of Order 66, so I don't know if that happens later) and I can't help thinking about Tor and Ijaat meeting the Nulls, before and after they left Kal? Or if Ilippi survived, what would a meeting between the Nulls and her be like? And it made me realize that characters who don't like Kal are either just quoted or never appear or are dead or are framed as wrong and reading this is such an exercise in patience

ps: btw, love your meta! that's what made me want to read RepComm, to be honest, and sorry for the english, it's not my first language 

I’m so sorry it took me so long to reply!!! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK. And also, just thank you. Truly, thank you. I wasn’t sure if people still read the meta out there or not, but I’m glad that you enjoyed them!! also your english was beautiful, I understood what you said perfectly

but also LMAO at: 

reading this is such an exercise in patience 

I TRULY FEEL THIS IN MY HEART OF HEARTS

Even after all this time, I still LOVE the Republic Commando books. I do---but rereading them is definitely an exercise in patience, now that I see all the problems and the glaring inconsistencies. But I still see the good parts, even great parts, and I keep coming back to them lmao 

BUT TO CIRCLE BACK--- 

I can't help thinking about Tor and Ijaat meeting the Nulls, before and after they left Kal? Or if Ilippi survived, what would a meeting between the Nulls and her be like?

I also think about these things a lot lmao

I’m often torn on the idea of the Nulls meeting Tor and Ijaat, or the Nulls meeting Ilippi if she had survived her illness. The way Prudii talks about her, in Order 66, makes me feel that they’ve internalized the bitterness and the resentment that Kal very likely felt early, early on in their development when he was young, and broke, and alone on Kamino surrounded by people who hated him. 

Kal has long since softened (on her, on his marriage failing, on his biological children disowning him), since he defends her against Prudii’s statements, but the sad truth is that the Nulls learned that bitterness and that resentment from him, originally---as they were raised and trained by him. It’s truly hard to say how they would have reacted in meeting her, and I feel like all of the Nulls would have held very radically different opinions on the matter. 

But, depending on who was or wasn’t present at that meeting, and any subsequent meetings ... would likely change how they react or respond to her. With Kal present, there’s always an underlying need for them to perform in a way that would further secure his love in them (regardless of whether or not it’s “necessary,” though to a degree it is---because of the way he withholds affection when someone doesn’t do something he agrees with) versus showing their true selves, or expressing their true opinions beyond his hearing.

We saw Prudii’s, and his bitterness and resentment likely reflecting Kal’s when he was a decade younger, but I think Ordo would have been much more polite. A’den would have been curious, no doubt, but nosy. Jaing can’t help but be intimidating, even if maybe he doesn’t want to be, and Mereel can’t help but be excessively charming and warm. Kom’rk is a toss up---his choice to keep his distance from the core is one that can be read as a choice to stay as far away from Kal as possible, and it’s one that might lend Kom’rk to being kinder and far more understanding than the rest of Ilippi. 

I wonder, actually, if there would have been jokes about the one woman who tried (and failed) to “tame” Kal (as those kinds of jokes tend to go, I guess?) but if there would have been some respect there, too, for the attempt. Had Ilippi lived, had KT been less biased against her female characters, there’s an entire world of potential, just in highlighting Kal’s faults and how everyone can work around them (or how he could / should work on them). 

I mean, okay. I have obviously softened somewhat on my frustrations towards Kal as a character, and I find myself thinking a lot these days about the Kal we should have gotten, the Kal a large chunk of the fandom think we have (but don’t), and the Kal the books believe they gave us. I think about the way the books should have gone if they were faithful to the narrative arcs they started before they were derailed by excessive soap-boxing and a doubling-down to bend to biases that broke the momentum because they just didn’t make sense.

One of the major arcs being character growth---owning up to one’s faults and mistakes, and making a conscious effort to become a better version of yourself through blood, sweat, and (literal) tears.  

And maybe part of that would always be hindered, or outright cut short, because Ilippi never survived to tell her side of her mistreatment and failed marriage---and also because we were never, really, given the opportunity to hear Tor nor Ijaat’s own memories. 

I struggle to think about how Tor and Ijaat would have dealt with the Nulls. I get the feeling there would be a lot of insecurity in all of them---and a feeling of being replaced, and some lingering resentment and anger towards each other (that should be directed at Kal, but for a lot of reasons, just like in real life, would be misdirected instead to other people). 

Miscommunication is a major sore point for Kal in general---he has a huge inability to actually express his love in his actions, or clarify his intentions, which may be good, in order to separate them from his missteps, which are often terrible. Tor and Ijaat, if they’re well-adjusted men now, would find it hard to not see what being raised in that kind of environment had on the Nulls. They have a lot of issues as a result of their genetics, yes, but a lot of their lingering and prolonged mental illnesses can, in some part, also be attributed to the “affectionate abuse” Kal gave them, and I wonder if Kal’s biological sons still carried lingering emotional and mental scars from their childhood---or if they had so little direct interaction with Kal that what few moments they had were uniformly positive---and if their resentment towards him genuinely was, as they said, because he wasn’t there when Ilippi was dying from her illness.

In this scenario, actually, if Ilippi survived... would they still have divorced Kal from their lives and rejected his fatherhood entirely? All of that hinged on him not being present, him being away at Kamino, during her very last days. 

So much of this also undermines the idea of Kal’s control over the Nulls, and the rest of the clan. If Ilippi not only survived, but thrived, away from him? If Tor and Ijaat are living full and fulfilling lives without him in it? If Ruusaan never “needed” to be rescued in the way that she was? They all would have stood as examples of a life beyond making personal choices and decisions that were dictated by him, and would have, at the very least, been a life that could stand in direct comparison and be just as messy and complicated as real life tends to be. 

also WOW i really .... uhhh I really got away from the point here. I am so sorry LMAO I GOT CARRIED AWAY. IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME since I got to ramble about repcomm, and I really fixate on a lot of the missed opportunities these days, because there are SO MANY. But I guess that’s what fic is for, right?

RIGHT???

Absolutely no pressure, BUT if you do decide to write fic about this, or do your own meta or exploration, I am ALWAYS excited to see what people come up with. I haven’t really been on tumblr that much lately, but I see now that The Mandalorian is out there and people are discovering (or rediscovering) Republic Commando, there’s a wealth of new stuff out there I desperately need to catch up on.

ANYWAY LMAO I’M SORRY I RAMBLE SO MUCH I JUST! THESE QUESTIONS ARE SO GOOD. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ASK. 

And I hope this find you well, ner vod.

[demolover]

ive seen ur posts mentioning u have thoughts on queer perspective towards death and how mcr fit into it so. if u ever decide to share other ideas on the topic id love to read it! (i think ur really good at getting your thoughts accross) (u dont have to answer btw i just wasnt sure abt shooting a dm abt this)

it’s been so long i’m so sorry um i have a lot of thoughts idk if u still want them here’s an attempt at a short version... 

edit: changing this to under a cut cuz it’s insanely long. if u don’t feel like reading almost 1.5k words probably don’t read it.

basically i think that mortality and death are very common things for all humans to think about and make art about because we’re kinda... obsessed with and extremely afraid of death. which (i think) stems from how death is one of the few things we know is going to happen to us, and yet we can’t understand it really. we know it is the end but we cannot know anything about it because it is the end. so that intrigues us (and makes us afraid) and then u can add in how we see other people in our life die before we do... basically it all adds up to us being obsessed with understanding and defying our own mortality somehow.

we can see this theme in mcr a lot, the interplay between mortality and defiance and hope... i call it hope vs inevitability and i think it’s especially noticeable in bullets and danger days, because in the other two they’re not really fighting so much as existing side by side... i wrote in notes once that in those albums, the hope is in the inevitable...

in black parade it’s pretty much totally like this; after you die you join the black parade, and your memory will carry on. there is fear going into it, but it very much feels like an album accepting and even embracing the end, not fighting it. accepting it and embracing it with this crazy tone... come one come all to this tragic affair. wipe off that makeup, what’s in is despair... (note: i used to think that line was what sin is despair and i still wonder if that was on purpose). revenge is a bit more complex but i have always thought that beyond the hope of getting the girl back, of bringing her back to life (against the end, against death and mortality) there must also be some relief in death for the guy demo lover... if you would kill a thousand men to get your lover back from the dead, would you die to meet them there? <- maybe i’m wrong; there is still hope vs inevitability here.

in danger days and bullets, though, is where i feel like we see those things ultimately fight; in bullets we have this desperate desire to be immortal and mean something, coupled with the strong feeling that you will die with nothing. that you will die. (i have a post on this theme in the song demolition lovers). then, in danger days we see this theme come with this absolute denial of mortality (killjoys never die) coupled with this intense fear of death and being remembered wrong or not at all. and of course this culminates in them dying. (here is my post on this theme in danger days it’s kinda a mess but so is this post so whatever).

right so we’ve established mcr (and humanity in general) is obsessed with mortality we already knew that though. what does it have to do with queerness.

basically there’s a couple things.

1. the connection of both otherness and love with death (note: this also applies to a lot of minorities but queerness is what’s really applicable to mcr specifically). the extent to which mcr intertwines narratives of love and otherness with death and violence is.... a lot. we see it in every album, i believe; it’s most noticeable in bullets in drowning lessons and demo lovers, in revenge in so many songs i’m not going to try to list them, in black parade in cancer, wttbp and my way home is through you, and in danger days in save yourself, only hope for me, and scarecrow. this was just off the top of my head; there’s probably more songs with examples of this.

this is very queer (at least when done by mcr; as most of mcr is white the issues that come with things like the history of interracial marriage, etc. don’t really apply) because of how for queer people our identities and love can be deadly to us... the history of queer love and identity is obviously marked with violence against the people displaying that love and identity.

straight cis white guys don’t usually talk about death with the connection with love at the forefront, at least not that i’ve seen. every once in awhile they do, i guess, if they’re talking about grief, but otherwise, no. demo lovers is my favorite example of the connection of love with death; especially in the first couple verses, the two seem so linked. the first 2 mentions of death or the end in the song are immediately followed by “with you”... “i’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets,” and “i would drive on to the end with you.”

in the whole demo lovers arc, through bullets and revenge, the themes of death and love are so intertwined it’s impossible to untangle them. if i tried to make a post of all the times in revenge death and love are talked about in the same lyric, as if one thing, i would be screenshotting lyrics all night. of course, if we bring in gwgt theory, and start thinking about how the girl and guy demo lovers are a metaphor for gerard’s relationship with his gender, we can go way further with this too. the simultaneous love story involving these parts of himself, and intertwined violence and death. the fear present... the lyrics that talk at the same time about hurting yourself and being hurt by others... but that’s a different post, really. i’m gonna try to stay more surface level. no speculating on metaphors (today).

in black parade i think we see the connection of otherness with death a lot more than the connection with love, although they’re both still present... in danger days the concept of otherness when associated with death is super clear: killjoys defy the city and become something “other,” which is scorned and hated by BLI/nd, and they get killed for it. love is also a pretty common theme in danger days songs, often intertwined with death, though less obviously than in revenge.

2. just... the extent to which this idea of mortality and death and immortality and memory is talked about is interesting in itself i think. this obsession with our legacy and our mortality is present in a lot of stuff, not just queer stuff, but it’s just everywhere in mcr’s discography (and a lot of the subsequent groups of music related to/associated with mcr, which are also often known for being queer). they constantly talk about how they’ll die, and how they’ll die sooner rather than later, and can they live forever anyway, what does immortality mean after all, will they be remembered, what will their legacy be... etc.

memory and legacy is something i haven’t really talked about, but i think it’s also essential to the conversation. for obvious reasons queer people (and people of a lot of other minorities but i’m only talking about the queer part cuz it’s the most/the only applicable thing here) have a more complicated relationship with how we’ll be remembered and whether we’ll be remembered than cishet people do. how mcr talks about this reminds me a lot of the sappho fragment tumblr passes around ever so often... “someone will remember us / i say / even in another time.” (comparison/parallels post of mcr lyrics and that quote by @milfygerard (and added onto by me) here.)

and that brings us back around to the theme of hope vs inevitability... as i mentioned earlier, this theme isn’t necessarily totally queer on it’s own, but as with talking about memory and legacy the way mcr does, if you talk about it so much that it becomes a core theme in all of your albums it ends up feeling a lot more queer than before. hope vs inevitability in mcr’s work connects to love and death and both at once and is just everywhere. and it ends up connecting to the way a lot of queer people think about our death and our mortality and our hope. and how the future and the past are thought about in connection to these themes i think is kind of queer too — when your history is barely spoken and your present is in hiding, of course you look to the future. despite that that means looking towards the ending. and maybe you embrace that ending, because what else is there to do?

i’m very sorry. this was not short. if you have questions, or want to tell me how i’m wrong, or have your own thoughts, do not be afraid to dm me or send me asks please... fascinating topic.