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pennyl4n3 · 3 years ago

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The Pool

*Taking a deep breath*

Well well well, this is my first fanfic (or should I say second or third? Btw, this one came to a conclusion) and I've never been much into writing, but Duskwood and all of you fantastic people in the fandom here brought me to this. I hope you like it, and of course I look forward to your comments and feedback.

Pairing: Jake x MC

Contents: Angst, Sadness, Fluff, Romance

It had been three months since his last contact with her. He'd had to disappear from the radar, the government breathing down his neck. Every day he fought the urge to write to her; he couldn't risk putting her in danger. He couldn't even risk reading her conversations at the moment, so he was as blind as she was.

He didn't know where she was, if she was okay, if she was mad at him, though after all this time he imagined she was. The last time they had written to each other she was in Duskwood and he had every intention of finally catching up with her. Things hadn't gone as planned unfortunately, and the deal he was trying to make with the government had fallen through, forcing him to become a fugitive again.

He was exhausted, he was free and yet he felt imprisoned in an endless loop. Ever since he had met her he had realized how heavy his condition was to bear, how much he missed talking to someone in person, how much he longed to get out without having to disguise himself. He wanted to move, to run, to be outside, and above all else he wanted to run to her, and hold her, look into her eyes, tell her in his voice how much he missed her.

While he was lost in these thoughts he scrolled through their last conversations, rereading every word and every comma. At one point he found the conversation in which they had talked about one of MC's great passions, swimming. He barely knew how to float, he had never had a chance to learn it as a child, and on that occasion he had promised himself he would try it someday. MC had told him about a public pool in her hometown that was easy to get into at night through a gate with a broken lock. She had gone there many times, when she needed to relieve her nerves and to be alone. Suddenly Jake felt the urge to see that pool, and set about finding it. Amazingly it was a couple of blocks from where he was hiding, the next step was to check the security cams near the building and along the way. He could do it without too much difficulty, and he really needed to get some air and some purpose, so he slipped on his sweatshirt, pulled on his hood and mask, and set off.

He arrived within minutes, constantly looking around. The streets were practically empty, but caution was never too much. The pool was a low building, all on one level. Mentally following MC's directions he managed to find the little gate, behind some bushes. It was still broken, unbelievable. Curiosity was stronger than him and he continued towards the entrance. His footsteps echoed in the hall, as he went down the few steps that led directly to the pool floor, the smell of chlorine filled his nostrils. Even though it was night he could see almost all of the interior well, thanks to the huge windows that almost reached the ceiling and let in the illumination of the street lamps, just as MC had told him.

He sat on the steps and stayed there for a while, lost in his imagination, even though he had never seen MC, enjoying that moment of peace, and trying to imagine her doing something that made her feel good...

A noise outside startled him, he ran off the steps and flattened himself against the wall. He waited in silence, his nerves on edge, his heart in his throat, his eye searching for possible alternatives escape routes. another metallic noise, and the angry meows of two cats fighting each other. Jake breathed a sigh of relief but waited vigilantly for a while longer before heading for the exit with shaking legs. When he returned to his shelter, he promised himself he would never try it again, but that was not to be. He returned there two more nights, until he decided to get a swimsuit and try swimming.

And so Jake found himself inside the pool, scared and unsure at first, but after a few minutes he began to feel the benefit of being in the water, the lightness provided by its support. He knew it wouldn't last long, but he continued to go there as many nights as he could. He would return to his hut tired but satisfied, and he could even get a decent night's sleep.

One evening he was trying to swim as usual when he heard a female voice saying jokingly, "well, I thought I was the only one who knew this place, but apparently not." Jake froze, almost having a heart attack. He was in the water, there was no way to escape. He drew a deep breath, thinking that it was anyway dark enough, and that his features weren't clearly visible, and decided to try not to look too suspicious. "Yeah, apparently not" he replied, trying to keep his voice from shaking. The girl smiled, or so it seemed to him, and continued, "I guess you like to be here alone, just like I usually do, but I could really use a swim tonight. I'll go in the back lane, I swear I won't bother you. Is that okay?" "O-oh yeah, yeah, go ahead," Jake mumbled, trying to hide his face as much as possible, and stood watching her as she made her way to the other side of the pool, still shocked that there was another human being in the same room as him. He realized that he was staring in her direction, and decided to start swimming again. After a while he stopped, out of breath and with tired arms, and saw that the girl instead was still swimming, at a brisk pace, and giving no sign of wanting to stop. He got out of the water and sat on the steps, wrapped in his towel, trying to catch his breath. Watching her was hypnotic, she moved with fluid movements, slow and steady. He wondered if MC swam like that too. How he wished he could have written to her to tell her he was swimming, or at least trying to, and to thank her for letting him discover this wonderful new experience as well. Since he had met her, his life had taken on a new light, where before only greyness and despair reigned.

His phone made a sound, bringing him back to reality. It was time to go home. He dressed quickly and headed for the exit, he didn't want to interrupt the girl's concentration, and he didn't intend to introduce himself, so better that way. Once back at the shelter he went back to work on his laptop, while eating a sandwich. Concentration continued to leave him that night, however, as the encounter with the stranger had brought him back to MC in a big way.

He returned to the pool the next evening, yearning to tire himself out and find some peace of mind. Once he got to the door he heard the sound of water coming from inside, he carefully pushed his way across the threshold, trying to figure out who was there and was relieved to see that it was again the girl he met the night before. He walked over to his side of the pool and removed his clothes as he cast furtive glances at her. He dove into the water and began to swim, trying to focus on his breathing, which was the part he struggled with the most. When he emerged with bated breath, he saw the girl standing at the edge of the pool and winced. "Hi, I didn't mean to scare you. I've been watching you swim and I thought I could give you a few tips, if you don't mind" Jake was so amazed and scared that for a few seconds he could only stare at her with his mouth open. "I-I...I don't.... " she giggled softly and shrugged her shoulders "Ok, look, I didn't mean to embarrass you...I'm going back to my lane. If you want it you know you can ask it okay?" And she turned to go back to her lane. "Wait. Yes, please I will gladly accept your help." Jake said. She retraced her steps and squatted down beside the edge of the pool with a smile on her face. "So, first let's start with your upper body, I've noticed that you move it a lot between strokes and that wastes your energy and breath. Try to stand up straighter, your arms and legs do most of the work. Then, every time you pull your arm forward, you can inhale if you feel the need to, and slowly you'll find yourself pulling two strokes, then three, and so on, but don't be in a hurry. If you take care of your technique well, managing your breath will already be easier." Jake was focused on her words and nodded, before turning around and trying again. Following her advice actually felt like he was already doing better. A wave of satisfaction ran through him when he managed to do his usual laps without getting breathless. He emerged smiling and sat on the edge of the pool. She was still there and looked at him approvingly, then asked "Better now, isn't it? "Yes, thank you very much." He answered. "Thanks to you, I'm just back in town but I'm not having much contact with the rest of the world, helping you was a pleasure" "I... I understand, I didn't have much contact lately either". A slightly embarrassed silence fell between them. It was Jake's phone that broke it, by emitting an alarm tone. Jake got up quickly and headed for his bagpack. "I, uh, have to go now, thanks again for your help." She looked at him briefly, nodded, and stepped back. "Oh, yeah, sure, no problem. Well, good night then" and walked back to the pool. "Good night" he replied, and as soon as she turned around, he changed his wet swimsuit with dry clothes and headed quickly to the exit.

As he walked down the street, he wondered if he wasn't risking too much by going to the pool regularly, and by confiding in that unknown girl. He then decided that it would be better to avoid it for a while, even if it was with great regret.

Jake avoided the pool for a few days, but eventually decided to go back. He couldn't wait to get there. As he walked the short distance between his hiding place and the pool, he mentally savored the feel of the water, the smell of the chlorine, the relaxation it gave him to swim until his muscles ached. As always, he sneaked up on the hidden entrance, his senses all out to catch any suspicious movements or noises. That evening, however, he heard no suspicious noises as he entered the large room with the tanks, but a soft sobbing. He listened for a while, trying to distinguish where the crying was coming from. When he spotted the silhouette of the mysterious girl on the steps he felt a tug at his heart, and could not help but go near her.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he said softly.

She looked up with a jolt, and when she recognized him she answered a little annoyed: "What do you think? No, everything is not okay." She immediately realized she had been abrupt, and added in a tone of apology, clutching her knees to her chest: "Sorry, I didn't think you would come, I haven't seen you here in a while and you caught me off guard..." "It's okay, no need to apologize. I guess I interrupted an intimate moment of yours. It's just that hearing you cry made me worried somehow." He replied to her as he blushed, realizing what he had just said. "I-I meant...well I mean, sorry if I m-maybe I embarrassed you, I should probably go and..." hinting back. "No, wait. Please stay. If it's not a problem for you of course. I don't really feel like being alone anymore." she said as she reached out a hand towards him and motioned for him to sit beside her. Jake was tense, the last thing he had expected that night was to find himself consoling the mysterious girl, but he certainly couldn't leave her there alone, she had always been very kind to him and he was sincerely sorry to see her sad. He exhaled a deep breath and went to sit next to her as he pulled a handkerchief from a pocket of his backpack and handed it to her. "Thank you," she said with a smile, "I really appreciate it." For a while an awkward silence descended, during which they both stared at their hands. Suddenly she blurted out "You know, I'm worried about someone, that's why I was crying. I haven't heard from him in a while and I don't know what to think. I'm trying to move on, I promised him, and really, I'm trying so hard, but some days the weight of his absence is so hard to bear that I can barely get out of bed. Whatever I do the thought of him is with me. This is the only place I can find some peace, because swimming empties my mind b-but t-tonight..." her eyes glazed over again as she swallowed, trying to push back the tears. He had listened to her in silence until that moment, respecting her moment of venting, but when he realized she was about to cry again he felt he had to do something, so he passed his left arm behind her back and pulled her to him, gently holding her in an embrace. "I-I can understand it, you know? I promised one person I would move on too. But it's so hard. I want to call her, I want to write her, I want to know how she is doing, where she is...but every day I forbid myself to do that. And I know I owe it to her, because she doesn't deserve to keep feeling bad because of me and my mistakes and..." his voice faded away, as he realized that he was risking to say things he shouldn't have said, he recovered quickly trying to cut it short and not to let the tremor in his voice be heard "...and I understand you, that's it. I miss her so much too."

As they stood in silence, his heart running fast in his chest and he desperately looking for something else to say, he felt her draw back into his embrace and sigh. It felt good to have her in his arms, and feeling her calming down warmed his heart. It had been so long since Jake had touched anyone, not really talked to anyone, hardly remembered what it was like. A little later she said softly, "Thank you. For sharing a little piece of you with me. You don't need to talk about it if you don't feel like it, I understand. It's... " she stopped thoughtfully, "Complicated" finished Jake. "Yes, yes exactly! It's damn complicated. But knowing that someone can understand me makes me feel better." then she turned to him and drew a deep breath, then added, "Well, how about a swim? After all, this is what we both came for." Jake nodded and removed his arm from her shoulders. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He got up from the steps and walked over to the usual little corner where he used to change his clothes, while she headed to her pool lane and dove in. Once he slipped into his swimsuit, Jake entered cautiously, still pensive from that brief but intense exchange of confessions.

He slowly dived down to the bottom and stayed there for a while, still immersed in his thoughts. He had to stop those nightly outings. They were already dangerous in themselves, and now this unknown girl had been added, making him talk too freely. All of his inner alarms were telling him it was time to stop, and it was also time to change hiding places again, even though being so close to a place in MC's heart made him feel closer to her.

A movement to the side of his field of vision brought him out of his thoughts, and out of the pool as well. When he got to his feet he ran a hand over his eyes and pulled his hair back so he could see better, turning to face the source of the movement. He saw her in the aisle next to where he stood, staring at him. "A-are you ok?" said him in an uncertain voice. She giggled and replied, "I was going to ask you the same thing, you weren't coming up out of the water anymore." "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I scared you, I was just... well, reflecting." he replied. She stared at him intently, looking at his black hair, stuck to the sides of his face, and said tilting her head "It's weird you know? You remind me so much of him, the way you behave somehow, I can't actually explain it". Jake blushed and swallowed hard. "I'll take it as a compliment" he replied, and stepped out of the water. "I have to get back. I hope you feel better now." continued, while heading to the bag of dry clothes. She stood staring at him, wondering if she had made him uncomfortable with that confession. When she realised he was about to undress she turned around, blushing. She waited for a while and then sat down on the edge of the bath and said with a smile, "Yes, I'm feeling better, thanks to you. Good night, stranger."

When he arrived to the hut, something alarmed him: some of the boards near the entrance were placed differently than he had left them. He quickly stepped into the shadows and took out his phone to check inside. Two men were sitting at his usual spot, peering at the screens. Jake was quick to slip back downstairs and to reach out his hiding place number two, three doors down. As soon as he was seated, he took his phone out of his jeans pocket and started the hidden cameras. The two men didn't seem to have any idea what they were looking at, and they didn't look like officers either, to be honest. Maybe two thieves? But what kind of thieves would break into an old warehouse with the windows covered by boards? What did they expect to find there? He carefully examined the video images from the cameras he had placed around the rest of the perimeter of the building and saw a couple of policemen in the back. "Fuck!" he whispered through his teeth. He prepared to format everything in the hiding place and stood vigilantly by, watching them alternately. The two intruders were probably hiding from the cops, and risked exposing him. He noticed that there was a car shop next door and decided to create a diversion. He quickly managed to hack into the shop's security system and set it to go off, so that the cops could be sent away. He then logged on to his workstation and simply brought up Nymos, some glitches and the words "intruders detected, defensive protocol activated" on the screens. It was more than enough to send the two of them running for the hills.

He sighed with relief, letting himself down on the makeshift mattress behind him. He stayed like that for a while as he listened to his heartbeat return to a normal rhythm, his adrenaline slowly subsiding, his breathing becoming regular. His stomach rumbled, so he reached into his bag and pulled out an energy bar. After an hour or so, he locked the entrance to the main hideout and went back the way he'd come: better stay there for the night. As he settled in for the night, streams of thoughts came over him. He realised that the idea of leaving MC hometown made him feel lost, even though she wasn't there, and it wasn't even certain that she would return. Still, he knew he had to leave, that evening's mishap was another proof of that. There wasn't much to think about really, he had to move again, maybe he'd come back later. He thought of the girl at the pool, of her pain, so familiar. How was it possible that love could always bring so much suffering? He drifted off to sleep with those thoughts in his head, and woke up restless.

The next morning Jake was almost done packing up all of his belongings and ready to go. He wondered if once he was settled into his new hiding place, he would find another pool where he could train undisturbed, so he set about identifying all the potential candidates. How he wished he could have told MC about this! As he scanned the pools and studied their surroundings it occurred to him that he could write her using a disposable phone before leaving. His hands began to shake at the mere thought of being able to write her again. Would she be happy to read it? Maybe she was angry with him. In their last conversation she had told him to at least let her know if he was alive as soon as he could. Before he could think about it too much longer, he stormed out of the room and headed for the first open store. Once he retrieved the disposable phone he went back to the spare hut and slipped into it with all his things. He turned on the phone and prepared it for use.

*??? is online*

Jake:Hello, MC.

Shortly after came the reply

*** MC is online ***

MC:Jake! Are you okay?

Jake:Yes MC, I'm fine. I apologize for not letting you hear from me again, it was too dangerous.

MC:That's okay, I'm so glad to read you now, I kept telling myself that you were definitely fine and that I shouldn't have written you, as promised

Jake felt his palms sweat.

Jake:You know, I've been going swimming lately. At night, on the sly. Your enthusiasm about it convinced me. You were so right MC, it can empty your mind. I wanted so hard to thank you for that.

MC:I went swimming recently too, at night, it kept me from going crazy. Maybe we swam at the same time

Jake: :)

Jake:And do you know where I was? The place you told me about. It was like I felt closer to you

MC squinted her eyes

MC:Jake... you don't mean that place with big windows almost to the ceiling,do you?

Jake:Yes, exactly that.

MC bursted in laugh and shaked her head in disbelief.

MC:And you didn't happen to meet someone? Like a really nice, kind girl who gave you lessons?

Jake felt his knees buckle and had to lean against the wall to keep from falling.

Jake:You...

Jake:Was that you?

Butterflies were spreading through his stomach.

MC:So you hugged me the other night! I was crying just for you, and you were there, this is crazy!

MC:Where are you now?

His eyes widened.

Jake:MC me, I was going to leave the town, last night I found intruders in my shelter, it's not safe for me to be here anymore.

For a time that seemed eternal to him there was no sign of life on the other end of the phone.

Jake:MC...

MC:Don't you dare

MC:Don't you dare leaving again. You've been staying here for days, and even allowed yourself to go out almost every night, and you never wrote me anything. Now that we might meet you're starting this again.

MC:We met by accident Jake! Does that seem normal to you???

MC:I'll be waiting there tonight, you better come

***MC is offline***

Jake stared at the phone bewildered. He was terrified. He couldn't believe he had hugged MC the night before. And she was crying, because of him. She was right, he couldn't leave again.

That night he went to the pool, almost running. He sneaked up on the hidden entrance, holding his breath, and went to sit on the steps where he usually rested his backpack. A short time later he saw her walk in and head towards him. It seemed to him that his heart was about to explode. He stood up and walked over to her. They both found themselves running to cover the final distance that separated them. They hugged each other tightly, and stayed that way, without speaking for who knows how long. Neither of them wanted to untie the embrace, as if to do so meant to lose themselves again.

At the end MC pulled back a little to look him in the eyes, and said, "I was beginning to think this moment would never come" "And instead we found each other without even knowing it" he replied chuckling. She blushed and rose on tiptoe to give him a light kiss on the lips.

"Shall we go for a swim?" she told him with a mischievous grin. "Sure. I've been taking lessons" he replied as he began to undress.

#everbyte studios #duskwood game #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood music #duskwood everbyte #duskwood #duskwood jake x player #duskwood fanfic

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ka-writes · 3 years ago

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Notes: READ WARNINGS!!

Please I really want you to be safe.. anyways, this is mainly a set up for the next chapter.. it has a shit ton of angst prepare yourself.

Also am very sorry it is late!! ‘‘Twas very hard for me to start writing it, btw I started another AU please go check it out, thank you <3

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Warning: Torture I go into detail, gore, cussing manipulation, characters lose sense of reality.

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In case you missed:

Chapter 1:

Chapter 6:

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Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Ao3 link for this work:

And my other AU:

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Change 7: This is a dream… right?

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He was back where he started this whole thing.

In a cage.

One cage over from the door and now in the middle of the room. It felt empty and bare, yet full of an uncomfortable sense of dread and fear, though he would never admit that aloud.

This time there was only one other cage in sight. The room had changed as well. It was no longer covered in grime, or smelled of blood. Instead it was a sickly white and smelled of rubbing alcohol. Which caused his nose to burn with the overwhelming scent of the cleaning supplies, making the entirety of the room feel more and more like one of those horror stories in hospitals, the only difference being that this one was real.

The thing that replaced the other cages and humans was an operating table with vials and tools that Tommy couldn’t identify.

There were no lights currently, except for the same small door window, which was the only thing that really stayed the same.

It was cold, it felt empty. There was no description fit for the amount of dread Tommy felt. It was built up after laying in the dark for so long. It burned his gut and made his head swirl with thoughts of what would happen next.

He wouldn’t ever admit he was scared, but the situation kinda explained itself.

Without warning the door swung open. No squeaks like last time, just a smooth motion allowing the room to be basked in yellow light from the hall.

Then the lights turned on, immediately causing Tommy to shut his eyes. His head started throbbing and every fiber in his body screamed at him to run. The lights turned into blurry blinding blobs that lit everything in a white fire, making it apparent that the room was indeed scrubbed of any stains or blood. Once his eyes finally adjusted, his migraine caught up to him, making the entire thing unbearable.

“Hello there!” An alien stepped in the room. Their features were outlined in white and their skin wasn’t even recognized, simply because it looked like a shadow. They had claw-like hands and wore glasses over their white to red eyes. They had a black doctor’s coat and wore black pants with white knee high boots. They had a devilish tail along with devil horns and a floating white halo. Their fangs poked out from a blinding white mouth, which was curved into a practiced smile.

“My name is BadBoyHalo, but you will refer to me as Dr. Halo.” They finished with a sickly sweet tone and a side smile, “My pronouns are he/him, and I will be taking care of what happens while you’re here.. not that you will ever leave of course.”

His mind was racing. Everything told him this was real, but he couldn’t help but pray that it was all a sick dream.

“Now we will start off easy and move onto the harder stuff later! Please refrain from trying to run, we have a shock function attached to your translators.” This caught him off guard. Why was he using plural tenses?

He looked towards the other cage, that’s when he noticed the strange bee alien also wearing a petrified expression. His eyes didn’t wander to the other cage, only watching Dr. Halo.

“Now who do we start with?” The doctor asked, even though he clearly already knew. A twisted smile shone on his face letting the light catch the awfully amused glint in his eyes, “Let’s start with the droneling!”

——————

There was no explanation for where the two went.

They simply vanished. No traces to follow or reasons to run.

The only logical explanation was Dream catching them. Which meant Techno would have to ask around for where the ship was harboring. The only problem being, he was awful at talking to people.

“So what do you wanna know?” A tall Wollylock person asked, she was the only known person to know anything about Dream, being his mother and all.

“Er- information on the Dream Team Ship.” Techno stated rather awkwardly.

“Why?” The captain asked, impatience clearly visible with her expression.

“They took two starlings from my crew.” At that the captain practically fumed with furry.

“I will help. After all, that boy needs to learn some manners.” The captain stated, her determination was infectious. “What is your craft’s name?”

“The SBI Craft, piloted by captain Philza.” He said robotically.

“Course it has to be Phil. That man has what, four kids he claimed to his crew..”

“Technically, I am not a kid, neither is Wil- Er our scientist, so really he’s only harboring three kids, now one since two were taken..” Techno decided that was the best explanation he could come up with, though there was really no point.

The captain chuckled and brushed off the other’s attempts at defending the crew. “Just send me the ship’s cords and your captain’s contact and I will be in touch.” With that the captain slid a communicator over the table and walked out of the sketchy bar.

Techno made his way back to the ship and delivered his captain the news. He tried to ignore the gut feeling that everything was wrong…

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(The next section has graphics depictions of torture and gore, please skip this section if it could or will trigger you in any way, there is a summary at the end. Thank you <3)

The world moved unbearably slow. The cage opened ever so smoothly, making him want to throw up. It was the sign that everything was going to go to hell.

That’s what this has to be right? A hellish nightmare that wasn’t real..

No that wasn’t right..

Did it matter?

A hand yanked his wrist out of the cage and into the blinding white room, that felt like fire surrounding him as he stepped to the operating table.

Needles and scalpels were set neatly on a silver tray. The restraints were heavy and felt like they burned his wrists and ankles. He was pushed onto the table as the ‘doctor’ slapped on gloves. More restraints were clipped over his waist and thighs.

Then something pinched his leg. He felt the blood rushing it’s way down to the cut, as a scalpel carved out a rectangle. He could hear scissors cutting something, and distant screams… were they from him?

He didn’t know at this point. More agonizing cuts on his legs along with a couple of needle pin marks.. a couple snaps of an illusion disk and a bit of writing, on both his skin and paper..

He couldn’t really feel anything after the first one, only simply knowing that his body was reacting to the pain yet his brain hadn’t quite caught up with reality.

It was like he wasn’t exactly controlling his body, just simply existing in the dream-like state. Time didn’t exist there, neither did recognition of the pain. Emotions ran wild. Turning all of his thoughts sour as he attempted to remember what happened.

It wasn’t until the doctor un-clipped him and put him back into the cage that he noticed the other.

That’s who did this to him. That’s the person that pushed him through pain.

The human wore a terrified expression as the doctor took him out for his turn.

He couldn’t help but smile at the other’s pain. The other deserved it..

Right?

(If you skipped this, Tubbo got tortured and blamed Tommy for the situation.)

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“IT’S BEEN A FUCKING MONTH! And you still haven’t found your son’s damn ship?!” The man on the other line was furious, and rightfully so.

Puffy undoubtedly understood the anger the man had. I mean she had been in the situation before when her youngest was kidnapped by another crew of pirates. The only difference in this situation was she was fighting against her son, her duckling… when did her duckling turn sour?

“You’re right about that, Phil. I can assure you Niki is doing everything in her power to track them down, along with Jack.” Jack joined the team after Puffy met Niki.

She must admit that having someone working in the ISF had its perks. Though no one could fully trust him. For good reason of course.

“Ponk is ‘talking’ to Sam, he sure as hell ain’t cracking yet.” She finished bitterly, “Like I said Quakity is waiting for his monthly letter from his fiancé, which would hopefully give us a clue at where to look.”

“I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that it’s been a month.. Wilbur said the humans barely last a full week if they aren’t treated..” The worry was lining his face and causing the bags under his eyes to look more like nasty black eyes. His face was sullen making it apparent the man hadn’t been eating properly. His wings ruffled at every noise and he seemed to be running purely on coffee. Puffy wanted nothing more than to return the man’s unofficial sons back to him.

——————

Everything was great!

The plan worked perfectly, and Sam hadn’t cracked yet.

Meaning he could easily start on the next faze. The only issue would be he’d have to gain both of the starling’s trust.

Even if the present was a bitter reality lined with things that would annoy him, the end result would be worth it.

Having a human and a nuke expert by his side would allow him to have everything he ever wanted.

Power.

Not just power, but all the things that came with it. He wouldn’t be questioned again, and everything and anything he said would be the final word.

It would be hell for those who crossed him, and even worse for those who abandoned him.

Wilbur, Sam, Ant, Quackity, Foolish, and even mother dearest, Puffy. They would all pay for their disloyalty. Once this is all over, they would never cross him again.

I mean he did give up everything to gain this life.

There was nothing to lose and everything to win, and he’d be damned if he didn’t win.

I mean he sold his soul for this!

It was all worth it.. right?

Of course it is. Stop doubting me child.

——————

28 days of torture, and now they were sitting with their captors playing house.

It was wrong. So utterly wrong.

“Eat your food Tommy.” The captain commanded.

Tommy complied not wanting to go back in the cage. Every day he woke up there, more things were shoved into him and more pain was given.

“You too Tubbo.” The command was given and the other complied, the same fear visibly shown.

“Reports.” Dream stated sternly, the rest of the crew compiled without hesitation.

It was a bunch of regular reports of how no one knew where they were, what supplies needed to be restocked, the current condition of the ship, and any developments with the news. A bunch of boring bullshit. He bit back any sarcastic remarks that threatened to spill, but refrained in fear of what they would do to him.

The crew was dismissed leaving Tubbo, Tommy, and Dream alone.

“I want both of you to listen.” Dream started his tone raising all hairs on the back of Tommy’s neck, “Phil and his crew led you to us. They didn’t comply the first time and poisoned your minds. We did the right thing, and fixed you. Now, there are some rules you have to follow. You may not wander the ship, only go anywhere with one of the crew members. You will both share a room and follow the same schedule. Anything you do that is not an order deserves a punishment, for it is proof of what the other crew poisoned you with. Now! Go to your room, it has a black door.” With that the man finished and the pair headed towards their room.

The speech sounded right, yet felt wrong. But everything was justified, therefore it was fine. Plus the worrying was just a problem for future Tommy, maybe that’s what Dream meant by the other crew poisoning him.

The other said nothing as they entered the room, only fixing Tommy with a bitter gaze which turned into something of confusion. Neither one slept, they couldn’t bring it in themselves to sleep, especially since Dream hadn’t told them to.

Instead both of them settled into a silence as they lay on their bed, only getting up when the man told them too. This was all they could really do as they faced their new reality. Slowly but surely their brains began to believe every word of the speech. Finally when the man asked to join him, a bubbly sickly joy gave them the grace to finally help their rescuer.

Six months after the initial capture, one month of torture and five months of vigorous training, consisting of fighting, weapon design, and hours of studying blueprints, they were finally able to go on their first mission with their rescuer, not questioning anything any of the crew said at this point. Sick months of training and they became living weapons ready for whatever the cruel world threw at them…

This is a dream.. right?

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Chapter 7- End

Words: 2221

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Notes:

Hahahaha I am in pain from writing this... please bare with me.. ;-;

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Dream is being a manipulative bastard... I mean the character. More specifically my take on Dream’s character in this situation... ahhhhh

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I hope you’re staying safe, don’t forget to take care of yourself!! <3 also likes are appreciated but reblogs are always better! <3

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juminsmysticmc · 4 years ago

Note

Can I request the RFA suddenly meet old friends who were very close to them (maybe in their childhood, highschool,..), our boys said she's a good person but they're trying to separate the relationship between MC and the RFA (the RFA didn't notice this).MC told them about this and the RFA did not believe her, then they got into a fight, mc got hurt accidentally, plz.I love the angst, but can u make a happy ending?If it’s too much u don’t have to do it. I love ur blog btw, hope u have a great day!

Trigger Warning

RFA meeting an old friend of MC who acts nice but want to actually separate their relationship but only trusting Mc after she got hurt in an accident

Ohh hey! This is a really good request! It also would have been an amazing FanFic! Well, I hope you enjoy this Headcanon! Please feel free to tell me your opinion! And by the way, I also love angst with a happy end! Thank you for your kind words!

PS. the headline says trigger warnings because I am unsure if this could trigger you guys so please read with caution.

You watched the group chat as the RFA was discussing whether to accept your friend as an RFA member. Everyone loved her; the woman who once was your best friend. The person who knew you the best. But she was also the person who hurt you the most. The lies she said, the actions with bad intentions… Everything came to you as more and more flashbacks. Ever since that happened back in University, you tried your best to cut contact. However, your love for her was bigger, and instead of cutting off the toxic friendship, she managed to make you become the loneliest person on the campus, destroying your faith and innocent heart for other people. You swore to yourself that you would never ever trust other people. Not until you met the RFA and your partner. They made you feel strong, positive about relationships, and managed to show you support whenever you needed it. But right now, that bad time was coming back. As if nothing changed, history repeated and people began to love her more than you. At least it seemed like that in your head. You decided to approach the person you thought would always support you. At least, you thought so.

Jumin

,,Jumin,“ you spoke up.

Your husband looked up from his phone as a smile decorated his face.

,,You never told me that you had such good friends,“ he spoke up first.

,,Well, actually, she isn’t a good friend to me. You know, maybe you guys shouldn’t hang out with her so much… she did some kind of hurtful things to me and-” you stopped as you saw Jumin’s face.

Why was he looking at you with that face?

As if you did something wrong, as if you were the bad person, just why?

,,You were the one who taught me to trust people!“ Jumin defended the woman who hurt you so deeply.

You tried to explain to him what happened.

,,She lied to me and to my friend! Because of her, I thought that my friend deceived me and vice versa!“ you told him.

How could he not trust you?

,,Maybe that was because you didn’t try to clear the misunderstanding,“ he told you, making you feel as if someone stabbed you in your back.

You rushed outside. You didn’t care about Jumin behind you, calling your name, and asking you to stop.

A fearful cry from him caused you to make a fatal mistake, looking back at him and not noticing the racing car which was approaching you.

The hit hurt so much. Your body crushed against the car and back on the hard floor, making you lose consciousness��

,,Mc! You‘re awake?!“ someone called your name.

You couldn’t really see the one who stood in front of you, but you knew perfectly well that this voice belonged to Jumin.

Even though you were still unable to move your limbs, you could feel Jumin kissing your hand.

,,I am sorry, that I… we didn’t trust you…“ he spoke up, making you notice that the RFA was there too.

,,Your friend won’t enter the RFA. Instead, we tried our best to make her go away forever,“‘ Seven laughed and began to explain how he found messages on her phone to get rid of you.

Zen

But you were kind of wrong.

Zen wasn‘t on your side at all. Instead, he was on her‘s.

Once again, he was on the phone with her, laughing at something she told him.

At that point, you cursed the day you met her with Zen at the entertainment company.

With a fake smile, she hugged you and whined that you didn’t contact her anymore.

However, you knew that she hurt you a lot.

And Zen apparently came to like her a lot.

So much so that she was already visiting the whole RFA as if you were the newcomer.

,,You don’t understand how much she destroyed!“ you whined.

,,TRUE! I DON‘T! You're just jealous, Mc!“ he told you.

Lies, you thought.

Lies.

Like always. Lies.

You took your back and rushed out, not looking back at Zen or evening caring about telling him something.

And then, without anyone noticing, you got into an accident.

While the paramedics were trying to save you, Zen was busy tidying up the room since your friend would come over.

Of course, the guilty was eating him from the inside, but right now he couldn’t change it.

And before Zen could keep on tidying up, the long-haired found something he shouldn’t read.

You diary.

The diary which page for page was about her, the one who caused your first panic attack, who made you think for two years that she was seriously sick, the one who played you against your friends.

And at that point he knew he screwed up.

Afterward, everything went over quickly.

Zen got called by the police, who told him that as you walked, you got hit by a stone that fell from a balcony and you were currently hospitalized.

At the same time, the girl who he thought was your friend passed by.

Zen couldn’t do differently and bashed her, telling her to literally fuck off before he would hit a girl for the first time.

,,I'm sorry,“ he sobbed late at night, your eyes still closed.

,,If you won’t wake up, I will fall asleep with you… so you’re free to choose yourself, whatever it will be. This time I will stay loyal to you,“

,,Dummy… of course I would choose life,“ you mumbled.

Yoosung

,,You’re my husband… why can’t you be loyal to me…?“ you begged him.

He just watched you as you shed tears in front of him, unable to give you an answer.

,,I just want you to trust me. Why do other people always come first? Am I not enough?

If the world was ending, wouldn’t I be enough? Do you need other people so bad?“ you sobbed.

,,Mc, I don’t understand your problem. We met your friend after such a long time and now you want us all to break contact? She’s so nice!“ Yoosung tried to explain, trying to touch you.

However, you flinched and stepped away.

,,Don’t touch me. If you don’t trust me, don’t touch me. I won’t forgive you for not trusting me… You’re unfair… Everyone is unfair… Why can’t you guys care about me? Why can’t you care about me the same way I care about you? Why is it always me who has to endure pain alone? Why?!“ you asked him and before he could stop you, you already ran off with the car key.

,,Mc is already missing for about three hours and isn’t answering her phone!“ Yoosung whined into the phone.

,,Don’t worry. And besides, it’s okay if she doesn’t come back.

Mc’s always been like this, as soon as something gets difficult she would go hiding. Don’t worry about her,“ your old friend said.

Yoosung gasped at the words your friend told him.

This wasn’t the way a friend should behave.

Without saying anything, Yoosung cut the call and instead called Seven, who immediately searched you.

,,Oh, oh… Oh my god,“ he gasped.

,,What?? Why? Seven??“ Yoosung cried.

,,Calm down, little man! I am going to pick you up, okay? Don’t freak out…“ Seven said and already cut the call to pick him up.

When the two of them arrived at the hospital, the other RFA members were already waiting in the parking lot.

Finally Seven spilled the tea, saying that he saw in the CCTV and that you were in an accident.

,,Two days already passed, Mc...the bad girl wasn’t accepted into the RFA so when you wake up, don’t worry. No one will replace you… and whatever she did back then, she won’t succeed another time… because we will stay by your side,“ Yoosung whispered before he fell asleep next to you.

,,Thank you…“

Jaehee

Tears kept flowing.

The thick drops were even louder than your breathing as you replayed what just happened.

You approached Jaehee to beg her to stay away from your toxic friend.

And then the argument.

You and her, who normally would work together, fought this time.

You even forgot what triggered you.

You just remembered how you got outside; alone in the dark.

The street lamp was the only thing illuminating the next five steps in front of you.

Suddenly, you shrieked as a dark figure approached you.

Fear was written all over your face and you were sure that the person in front of you could see that.

,,Who… are you?“ you whispered, trying your best to sound brave, but failing.

Instead, a sob left your mouth, making the stranger smirk.

The street echoed as you screamed as loudly as you could while the stranger stabbed you.

All he wanted was money.

You would have given it to him if he had just asked.

,,MC!“ you heard Jaehee and saw then her face.

And then darkness surrounded you.

,,She was always so stupid. That‘s why no one liked her back then in school.

It’s just better if you turn off the machines,“ you heard the one you once called your friend say.

You tried your best to open your eyes or say something, anything so that they wouldn’t kill you.

Anything, but nothing worked.

,,Please go. I don’t think that the RFA needs another member,“ you heard Jaehee say.

,,Don’t worry,“ she whispered and stroked your head.

,,I just realized everything and I will protect you,“ she kissed you, making you fall asleep in comfort.

Saeyoung

,,I thought since you’re a hacker you could see all her wrongdoings! But apparently, you’re blind!“ you hissed at him as you tried to beg him not to let her into the RFA.

However, you were already too late and realized that this ,,friend“ of yours already had all the data about the RFA.

Jumin said that maybe if you would give half the load of work to her so you wouldn’t work that much.

It would make it lighter for you.

In other words, you weren’t doing good enough.

They didn’t trust you with the work you were doing.

It hurt you.

It was a deep stab.

But you could keep going if your fiancé supported you.

Instead, he even did what the other person wanted.

No one trusted you.

You couldn’t trust anyone anymore either.

,,Someone leaked information about the RFA!“ the chat was in a fuss.

You knew who it was since you stopped working ever since she came into the RFA.

,,Mc was it! I can log in and see her email! Here‘s a screenshot.

Mc, how could you?

Why did you make the same mistake as back then in school?“ she typed in the chat.

You had to read the line four times until you realized that she was blaming you.

,,I’m disappointed,“ Saeyoung wrote.

That’s when you went you logged out and closed the app.

So she finally attacked you again, huh?

You were already waiting for it.

,,Mc!“ Saeran asked you and barged into the room.

,,You don’t trust me either, huh?“ you asked him, getting up and packing your stuff.

,,No, wait!“ your fiancé‘s brother tried to call you, to grab you.

However, it ended with you slapping his hand away, losing balance, and crashing down the stairs.

,,Did you push her?“ Saeyoung asked his brother.

,,ME?! WHY? I like her! And perhaps I do more than you! It’s your fault! If you would have trusted her, she wouldn’t have felt like that! If you would have supported her better… her friend faked the email. She was the one who leaked out the information,“ Saeran hissed, got up and left the hospital room, leaving an unconscious you behind him.

The next week, Saeyoung worked on finding out whether his brother was right or not and quickly kicked out the woman everyone thought was your friend.

,,From now on, I will trust you and listen to you. So open your eyes that you can scold me, okay?“ Saeyoung whispered and smiled as he saw your finger twitching.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

16.06.2020// 22:37 MEST

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waywardnerd67 · 4 years ago

Text

Starving Affection

Summary: It had been five years since (Y/N) had any physical contact with another person. When she starts talking with a man online who reads her fanfics, a battle of her mind and body begins. When the time comes to meet him, she finds that there are still decent human beings in the world. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Sami (OFC), Plus Size!Reader Pairing: Jensen x Plus Size!Reader Warnings: Angst/Fluff/Smut/Body Image Distortion Word Count: 9256 A/N: Again, me working through my feels. Thank you for allowing me to do so.

My chest tightened. Jaw clenched until my teeth hurt. My body rigid and frozen as panic flowed through my veins. The overly friendly, new teacher had her arms outstretched towards me. If I had been a normal person, I would gladly hold my arms out as well embracing her kindness and affection.

I was not normal.

“Hey Katy!” My partner teacher and best friend, Sami, headed her off by stepping in front of me and taking the hit of affection.

There was a special place in Heaven for Sami and if not, I would fight God themselves to make it so. I could see Sami whispering to Katy and a nod of acknowledgement told me I would not have to worry about her advancements again.

“Sorry (Y/N), I didn’t know you weren’t a hugger. How about a high five?” Her sweet gesture had my trembling hand stretching out to her as she quickly slapped it with her own.

Only Sami could see my flinch from the physical touch of someone. Everyone else summed it up to my quirky personality and weird aversion to being touched. Thankfully our English department meeting was over and I could escape to the safe haven of my car. Sami was close behind me waving goodbye to everyone.

I bumped my shoulder to hers as she was the only one I had no problem with minor touching, “Thank you for taking that hug for me.”

She laughed, “You’re lucky I’m a friendly and huggy person. Hey, I meant to ask you before school today, but how is counseling going?”

I cringed, averting my gaze from her, “It’s… going fine.”

She stopped me with a tap on my shoulder, “The truth, please.”

I sighed as my shoulders slumped in defeat, “I stopped going,” I saw the incoming assault in her narrowing sky colored eyes.

“(Y/N)! You were making such good progress with this counselor. I was even able to give you a one arm hug.” The disappointment in her voice weighed my shoulders down even more.

I leaned against my car pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, “I know, I know. She had me go to one of her support groups and everyone had to hug someone. I… I just couldn’t. I tried three or four times going to the group and I failed every time.”

My eyes fell to the ground, disgust filling my mind, “Yes, you really are as pathetic as you’re sounding.” My inner voice snarked.

I heard Sami sigh, “It’s okay. We can work through it together. We can keep doing everything you liked from her and work at your pace.”

Looking up, I forced my lips into a small smile to appease my only real life friend, “That sounds good. Thanks Sami for putting up with me.”

I made my way home to a small ranch style home that was off the beaten path. My grandparents had left it to me knowing I would love the seclusion of it. It was my Fortress of Solitude. The only living thing, other than Sami, to be able to snuggle with me was Charlie the cat. The copper Main Coon was sitting by the door awaiting my arrival.

My evenings were always the same. Check in with my mom for an hour on the phone. Make or order dinner, which tonight was ordering pizza for the leftovers tomorrow. Turning on my favorite TV show, Supernatural, on Netflix and working on one of my millions of fanfics.

“Yes, stay in complete denial by hiding in your fantasy worlds and falling in love with fictional characters. Loser.”

I pushed my inner thoughts to the very back of my mind and focused on my current series I was writing. Pulling up Tumblr, I looked in my notifications seeing someone binge reading my masterlist. My heart always swelled with joy whenever someone took the time to read my writings. This person was also leaving feedback as well.

“ChevyMan67: I love this version of Dean! You truly have captured his personality and sarcasm.”

“ChevyMan67: I can’t get enough of this series! Please tell me there is more to come. I need to know if Dean finally falls in love and gets his apple pie life.”

I read through every comment and looked at every GIF the reader posted. I hit follow on his blog then took a few screenshots from my activity page, pulling up a blank post adding the pictures.

“Thank you to @ChevyMan67 for binging my stories! Your feedback means everything to me!”

As soon as I posted it there was a notification of a reblog from him. He posted a GIF of Dean screaming with #Fangirling flashing underneath. My cheeks ached from the unusual tension of a genuine smile spreading across my face.

Online I could be anyone I wanted. I would virtual hug and blow kisses at my friends. I was able to be more like the woman I was. Social, happy, carefree, open to others. I could be the woman I desperately wanted to be but my mind would not allow.

“Stay guarded. Remember what happened when you trusted him? Trusted his family? Never again. You promised never again.”

My indeed guard held the line at the gate of my mind. She stood in full armor and shield ready to throw off anyone that even attempted to break through to the part of me that desired to be a whole person again. I shook my head with a firm nod and reaffirmed my promise to myself to never let anyone that close to me again.

As I was closing down her computer for the evening, a ding caught my attention as a message came from Tumblr. Opening the window, I saw a DM from my newest follower.

“Hey there, I just wanted to say thank you for following me. Apparently I’m a rarity on here for being male and a fan of Supernatural. I truly love all your writings and can’t wait to read more. Hopefully, we can get to know each other better and become friends. Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. Message me any time. Goodnight.”

I re-read the message several times before closing my computer. Sure I had people message me for small talk and a few close friends I had on there. This felt different. Something deep within me sparked and I did not know how to react. There was only one person I knew I could go to and her reaction was more frightening than the thought of responding to ChevyMan67. That night was the first of many restless nights for me.

A week later, I finally sat down and responded to him.

“Hey, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond. I’m… well, I’m not used to talking to guys here. I think it’s great that you’re on here and reading, BTW. I’m working on a few pieces right now, maybe you could beta for me if you have time. I hope we can be friends as well. Have a good weekend!”

I was nearly hyperventilating when I hit enter sending the message. I tried to work on my newest one shot story and ignore my anxious heart awaiting for the ding. It was not until I was in bed watching my favorite episode of Supernatural that my phone chimed.

“Tumblr: Message from ChevyMan67”

My finger hovered for a moment before opening the app. The message opened and I let out a air I had been holding in my chest.

“No worries. Everyone is busy and has their “real life” to attend too. I work odd hours and days all the time so I get it. I would LOVE to beta for you!!!! Reading your work before it’s posted online? HELL YEAH! I feel honored you asked and I’m fanboying hard right now. Crap… that sounded… I mean. Sorry lol. You can send your fics to [email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you again.”

Over the next six months, Ross and I talked throughout our days getting to know one another. Three month into Tumblr messenger and dumb updates, he gave me his cell number to text one another. At times, I would have to catch myself from laughing while my students took a test. Everyone around me started to notice the small changes in me. Smiling more, talking more and one student commented on me wearing bright colors.

“You look good in yellow Miss (Y/L/N).”

However it was Sami who demanded to know all about the changes going on with me. We sat at our favorite restaurant, the first round of drinks being set in front of us. After the waiter took our order, Sami began her interrogation.

“Tell. Me. Everything. You’ve been keeping me at bay and I’ve respected your space, but you have seemingly blossomed in the last few months. Spill.”

I bit my lower lip as my phone sounded with an all to familiar chime. I went to grab my phone when Sami placed her hand over it, “Me first. Tumblr second.”

“It’s not Tumblr. Let me reply to him and then I will tell you everything.” I dared to look up to see my best friend’s face frozen in shock.

Her eyes wide and mouth gaping, “Him?!”

I nodded reading Ross’s message, “Hey I know you’re out with Sami and going to tell her about little ole me. I just wanted to make sure you were still thinking about what I asked last night. Can’t wait to hear from you soon. Not now though, have fun with Sami.”

I smiled, locking my phone and putting it in my purse looking back to my ridiculously happy friend, “His name is Ross.”

There was a loud, attention grabbing squeal from her as I shushed her, “Leave out no details…” she rested her perfect chin on her folded hands.

I told her all about Ross and how we began talking. I told her everything I knew about him and what he knew about me. Finally, as our food came out and drinks were refilled, I told her about what he had dropped on me the previous night.

“He asked me to meet him at the Supernatural Convention in Dallas next month. He already has the passes paid for and a few photo ops that we could share.” My heart raced at the thought of meeting Ross and meeting my favorite celebrities all at the same time.

Sami’s smile faded slightly, “Does he know about your struggles with being touched?”

I nodded, “It was one of the first personal things I told him. He’s still talking to me so I took that as a frightening good sign.”

“What are you feeling?” her point blank question shook me for a moment.

My fingers drummed against the table, “I’m nervous, scared, anxious…” I paused for a moment before looking up at her with a smile.

“I’m also excited, hopeful and curious.”

Sami held out her hands to me, palms up and I hesitantly placed my hands in hers. It was something we had been working on for the last couple of months. This was the first time I allowed her to squeeze my hands.

“You really like him.” She whispered smiling like a fool.

I felt my own smile mirroring hers, “Yes I do and that scares me shitless.”

The rest of the evening felt like the old days before my life fell apart. When I got home, I decided to test my luck. Pulling up Ross’s number, my thumb hovered over it until I smashed it hearing it ringing.

“Well hello, this is a surprise.” His velvety smooth voice sent shivers down my body, “Take a deep breath and know it’s okay if you hang up to just text me.”

“N-No, I’ll be okay.” I stammered as he let out a low chuckle.

I could hear him moving away from other voices around him, “I interrupted something…” Guilt and shame weighing my shoulders down.

“Not at all. They can wait, you calling me is an important moment. Not everyday, I get to speak to my favorite writer on the phone.” His compliments calmed my queasy stomach, “Could I be so hopeful that this phone call is working up to a good answer?”

I took a deep breath in and let out slowly, “Yes.” The word seems foregin to her as it left my lips.

“Yes I can be hopeful or yes to my question?” His jovial banter eased the tension in my shoulders.

“Yes.” I tried to sound a little more confident, my heart beating against my chest.

There was a moment of silence before loud cheering and yelling came through her speaker. His excitement was silenced by my own unfamiliar laughter. Suddenly I was hyper aware that he was no longer making any noises. Panic and fear swelling inside me.

A soft sigh came from him, “You have a beautiful laugh. I can’t wait to hear it again.”

My cheeks burned, “Thank you.”

Ross told me he would send all the details for our trip and that I was not to worry about money of any kind. Mentally, I began planning out how to save as much money as I could in the next four weeks. Thankfully, my savings was built up enough to take a small hit and not dip into her emergency fund. Over the next several weeks, I began to prepare for my first convention, first time meeting an online friend, first time traveling by myself, first time facing the unknown in five years.

The morning of my travel day, I went over to Sami’s house with Charlie. I was surprised to see her sister sitting there. She waved to me before taking Charlie’s crate.

“What’s going on?” I looked around seeing Sami’s suitcase packed by the door.

She smiled, “Your friend Ross, reached out to me.”

The color from my face drained for a moment, “H-He did… How?”

“He found me on your Instagram page. DM me asking me to join you on your trip. Stating and I quote, ‘I know you being there with (Y/N) will make her more comfortable. I want this weekend to go as comfortably as possible for her. I know it’s a big step and I want her to be taken care of.’”

She smiled softly as my vision blurred from tears slipping down my face, “Oh… wow.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty amazing (Y/N/N). If you were ever going to work on overcoming your touch aversion this would be the man to do it for.” Sami turned around to help her sister, leaving me to my own thoughts.

“Absolutely not! There is no way he is getting through my defenses. I have held strong for five years. Your heart and mind are safe within my holds.”

“Do you really think he’s going to want to touch you? Look at yourself. Lumpy. Chunky. Squishy. Dull (Y/C/H) hair. Boring (Y/C/E) eyes. Not even a decent pair of boobs or ass. You’re nothing special. Always remember that you’re nothing special.”

“(Y/N)? (Y/N) stop it.” Sami’s voice rang clear bringing me back to the present.

I nodded slowly, “Sorry. I zoned out.”

“Freaked out. We will work through it. Sara is gonna drive us to the airport and we have an hour to chat. Okay?”

It was in the moment that I noticed my best friend had absentmindedly placed her hand on my shoulder and I did not flinch. My eyes looked to her hand and back to her, “You’re touching my shoulder.”

“Crap, I’m so sor…” she started to say but my bright smile stopped her, “What?”

I placed my hand on top of hers, “I didn’t flinch or move or even notice you did it.”

Now her smile was matching mine and we had a moment of pure excitement jumping around each other. True to her word, we spent the hour on the plane doing some meditative exercises. I thanked every high power who would listen for my best friend getting her psychology degree.

There was a man waiting with our names on a piece of paper. He took our bags and drove us to a hotel near where the convention was being held. Sami checked us in since there were so many people inside and my anxiety started to flare up.

Breathe in counting to six. Breathe out counting to six.

I repeated my breathing exercise until Sami returned her brow furrowed, “What is it?”

“I don’t know who Ross knows, but he must be connected in some way. We have a suite on the fourteenth floor.”

My jaw dropped slightly before I stood up bracing myself for the next hurdle of getting through the elevator ride. Luckily, there were only two other girls in the car and I could safely keep my distance from them.

“I heard that Jensen is staying at this hotel.” One mentioned as the other rolled her eyes.

“Yeah right. This is Dallas, I’m sure he’s probably staying with his family or something.”

The girls exit on the eighth floor and before the doors could close Sami and I were chuckling to ourselves. The chances of Jensen Ackles staying at this hotel would be astronomical. The car dinged for the top floor and opened to a small hallway. When we opened the door to our suite neither of us spoke.

Sami walked throughout the entire room before I could even move from the entryway, “This room is amazing! Check out the view we have (Y/N).”

“Hold on. Having a moment.” I breathed as Sami came to my side and I held my hand out, “I’m fine. Just need a moment to make sure this is real and not a dream.”

I watched as she walked over to the coffee table where there was a gift basket and she held up a small notecard, “Oh it’s real.”

“(Y/N) and Sami, I hope you love your room. Enjoy your night and order anything you want. The front desk knows it’s all on my tab. I’m hoping you both will join me for dinner tomorrow night after registration. Sadly, my job won’t let me leave before then. I look forward to meeting you both. -R PS: I highly recommend the spa and they have a large private jacuzzi just for you, (Y/N).”

Sami sighed, “I really hope he has a single brother, cousin, friend that is like him for me.”

I rolled my eyes walking over to the large windows looking out. Flashes of the last time I was in Dallas popping into my mind. I shivered as the one voice I hated yelled loudly in my ears. My hands covered them and I felt Sami tap my shoulder twice. For the first time, in several years, I reached out to her and gripped her arms.

“(Y/N) remember why we’re here. Remember talking with Ross on the phone. The tone of Ross’s voice. His laughter.” Her calm tone eased me out of the wretched memory.

She guided me over to the couch and went to get me a glass of water. I sipped it slowly before squeezing her hand, “Thank you.”

“You know, I can get used to you reaching out to me. Feels like the (Y/N) I knew coming back.” Sami squeezed my hand back before I let slip from her grasp.

She was right, the woman I once was before my ex was fighting her way to get out again. Still, my guard was up standing fortified at the gate.

That evening was a girls’ night of epic proportions. They went to the spa where (Y/N) sat in her private jacuzzi while Sami received the best massage of her life. Afterwards, we ordered our dinner from room service making moderate choices since neither of us were paying. When our food came there was a special dessert also with another note.

“A little birdy told me that your favorite dessert was French Silk pie. I wanted you to have a slice and some New York Style cheesecake for Sami. Have a wonderful night.”

Sami whistled, “Man, he has it bad for you.”

“Shut up.” I muttered lifting the dome to see a delicious slice of pie.

As they ate and talked, Sami took my phone taking pictures of them enjoying a very Sam and Dean style dinner. Sami having a Chef’s salad with honey mustard dressing. I took a picture of my dinner sending it to Ross with a text saying thank you.

“Dean would be proud! That bacon cheeseburger looks good. Enjoy!”

I smiled the entire time I ate my burger. Finishing out meals, Sami hooked up her laptop putting on Supernatural. I decided to try and work on some stories when a terrifying thought crossed my mind. I looked up to the screen as Dean began to talk. I closed my eyes listening carefully to his voice. The low tone and smoothness of it. It was the way he said the word writer that had my eyes snapping open and a gasp escaping my lips.

“What? What is it?” Sami sat up concerning filling her eyes.

Like pieces to a puzzle everything snapped into place. All the small details that would go unnoticed by someone who would never expect it. Sami tapped my shoulder and I turned to her with wide eyes.

“Ross… that’s Jensen’s middle name.” I mumbled reaching for my phone.

Sami stood up pausing the episode, “Okay… what are you getting at.”

“Listen.” I played for her the voicemail he had left a few days earlier, “Now play the episode.”

Sami’s eyes connected to her, “No way.”

“Ross is Jensen Ackles.”

That night my dreams were filled with my ex yelling at me. Fat shaming me. Calling me a loser. Calling me useless for not being able to bear children. His looming form made me coward into a ball on the floor. I woke up several times during the night, the final time close to six in the morning. Sami was peacefully sleeping on her side of the bed.

I picked up my phone going into the living area and dialing the all too familiar number. On the third ring she was going to hang up, but then his groggy voice pierced my ears.

“(Y/N), is everything alright?” All I could hear was Dean, which meant that it was truly Jensen on the other side.

“You tell me, Jensen.” I heard him sit up as I began to pace near the window.

A long sigh came from him, “I knew you would figure it out before meeting me.”

I scoffed, “Is this some kind of celebrity joke or prank? Pretend to be someone’s friend and embarrass them when they meet you.”

My guard was shaking her head muttering, “Told you so…”

“No, (Y/N) it’s nothing like that. Misha had read some of your stories and suggested I should read them. At first, I thought it would be weird because I’ve never read fanfiction before, but your writing… it drew me in.” His words came out all in one breath.

I froze, “M-Misha read my stories? Oh god…” My body burned from embarrassment.

“Honestly, there’s not a person on our crew that hasn’t read at least one of your stories. You’re talented and the way you write for the boys is amazing. Our own writer’s are impressed with your talent.”

I groaned slumping down to the floor, “This was all a mistake.” The last thing I heard before ending the call was rustling around as if Jensen was moving from his bed.

My phone slipped from my hand as tears streamed down my face. I closed my eyes allowing my inner voices to consume me. Dragging me down into the darkness.

“You fool! Here I stood guarding you from this and still you allowed someone in. You deserve what is coming to you!”

“You useless piece of nothing! You’re the biggest joke this world ever created. Fat, ugly, even your body can’t do the one basic thing god made it to do. You’re worthless. Sucking up air that could be used on someone contributing to the world. No matter what anyone says you will always be the biggest failure in this world. You. Are. Nothing.”

I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and I tightened myself into a ball, “Go away Sami.”

The tapping continued and I reached out grasping an unfamiliar hand. My eyes snapped open and were met with concerning, piercing olive eyes. The eyes I stared at for hours on my TV. The eyes I wrote about in hundreds of thousands of words online.

As soon as my eyes opened he withdrew his hand and my heart sank further into darkness, “I told you. He will never want to touch your disgusting body.” The snide voice of my inner self whispered.

“(Y/N), please hear me out. Please for five minutes just listen to my side.” He sat across from me leaving a foot of distance between us.

I nodded looking up as Sami gently touched his shoulder, “I will be just outside if you need me.”

He waited for the door to close to start talking. His large hands rubbing against his cotton covered thighs.

“I started reading your masterlist on Tumblr and couldn’t get enough of your stories. I didn’t know exactly how to work Tumblr so Misha showed me how. I noticed you don’t get a lot of notes and I wanted everyone to notice you. I started sharing your work with everyone after sending you that message.”

He paused for a moment as I fidget with the hem of my shirt, “Why did you message me?”

His smile was more radiant in person, “It’s just as I said. I loved your work and I wanted to be friends. However, the more I got to know you… the more I wanted to meet you in person. I knew that would be problematic.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” I scoffed looking down to my hands.

He inhaled a deep breath, “You connect with Dean Winchester the same way I do. To find someone like that is a once in a lifetime chance. I want someone who I can gush over Dean with because soon I won’t be hanging out with him as much and he’s the best imaginary friend I’ve ever had.”

Seeing Jensen open himself up to me was creating a battle of mind and body within me. He was just as nervous as I was to open up to someone else. Suddenly, I did not feel so alone in my isolation. My hand trembled as I reached over placing it atop of his.

“Dean Winchester saved my life and I don’t mean that figuratively. I was on the verge of leaping into darkness when I found him getting Sammy to find their dad. I found the strength to carry on because I knew that was what Dean would do. I found that being broken wasn’t a bad thing but something that could drive you to keep working. Dean helped me to feel again when I had become numb to the world around me.”

His eyes shined as I spoke trying to hold back his own tears, “I’m glad he could be there for you when you needed him the most.”

“Then you came into my life when I least expected it.” I whispered as I squeezed his hand.

My mind was screaming at me to get as far away from him as I possibly could. To call out to Sami to make him leave and move out of the state disappearing from the world. However, my body was urging me to jump into his arms. To open myself up to him as he had done with me. I felt like a spring coil ready to snap. My mind was holding my body back waiting for my consciousness to make a decision.

And she did.

I launched myself into his arms startling him as we crashed to the floor. His arms instinctively wrapped around me as mine encircled his neck. The door flew open as Sami came rushing in as Jensen’s laughter filled the room. I hugged him tighter to me as he tightened his grip around me.

“Oh my god… (Y/N), you’re hugging him.”

I did not need to open my eyes to know tears were slipping down my best friend’s cheeks. Her voice was thick with utter joy and amazement.

“Does this hug mean that you don’t hate me?” His question caught me off guard.

Jensen’s hands kept me in place as he sat up swinging my legs across his. My arms are still around his neck not wanting to lose the connection. Now that my body was against his, it flooded with the strange feeling of desire. Sami joined them on the floor sitting cross legged in front of them.

“I don’t think I could ever hate you. Though I’m still upset you lied to me.” I rested my head on my arm and against the side of his neck.

Feeling him sigh and seeing Sami grinning, I knew this was a big moment for all of us. We sat on the floor for another hour talking before Jensen had to go back to his room to get ready for the day. Neither of us wanted to let go of the other. He hugged me one last time before walking out of the suite. When I turned around I was immediately engulfed into another hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” Sami squealed.

“Thanks, I think…” My sentence drifted and she pulled away from me.

I walked back toward the bed and flopped face first onto it. I felt her crawl up on the bed beside me knowing me well enough to give me space.

“Talk it out, (Y/N). What are you feeling?”

My cheeks burned from the first feeling to pop into my head, “I feel warm, anxious, happy...” I paused gathering the courage to say the last word, “desire.”

“I’m sorry, what was that last one?” Sami eagerly asked.

I sat up, “Desire.” Saying the very word felt weird.

She began to clap and raised her hands in the air, “Praise the lord!”

“Don’t get all weird about it. I don’t know what any of this means. My body is tingling…”

Sami interrupted, “I bet it does…”

“Shut up, mostly not in that way. I don’t know how to act around other people anymore. What is too much touching? What is too little? What does a hug mean? I have too many questions and all the answers just walked out the door.”

I looked over as my phone chimed seeing a message from Ross, “I guess I need to change that now.” I murmured as I pulled up his message.

“First, thank you for trusting me with a hug. It means the world to me. I wanted to know if you wanted to have an early lunch with me? We could eat in my room or restaurant or your room with Sami. Whatever you are most comfortable with. Let me know.”

I held my phone up for Sami to read and she jumped off the bed, “You can have our room. I will go entertain myself by the pool.”

I texted him back that he could come to my room as Sami began tossing clothes out on the bed, “What are you doing?”

“Finding you the perfect outfit. Now go shower so I can play dress up with you.” She clapped her hands excitedly as I groaned loudly.

Looking in the mirror again, I pulled at the shirt clingy to every soft, round surface of my waist. I pushed my stomach watching as it bounced back into place like jello. Turning to the side, I sucked as many rolls as I could inward, holding my breath. The air rushed from my lips as a knock came from the door. Making my way towards it, I grabbed my zip-up hoodie slipping my arms in it quickly.

“Hi.” The word came out more breathlessly than I wanted.

My inner voice whispering, “Yeah fatty, let him know that walking across the room makes you lose your breath.”

“Hey there, I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and grabbed lunch for us.” Jensen held up a paper bag from a local sandwich spot.

As he walked in, I took a moment to truly admire him. He looked like a male model in his tight dark jeans, black boots, dark olive Henley and sunglasses resting on top of his unruly, sandy brown hair. His smooth voice caught my attention.

“You could take a picture and it would last longer.” He chuckled sitting down on the couch and laying out their lunch.

I sat on the opposite side of him as far away as I could. Even though my body desperately wanted to be closer to him, I kept my distance not pushing my mental capacity. He glanced over a hint of disappointment in his eyes seeing me so far away.

Jensen slid a sandwich towards me, “I remember you telling me that you love ham and swiss with tomato.”

“Thank you.” I unwrapped the sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips.

We ate in silence as a strange tension built between us. My stomach churning to the point I could no longer eat. I would look over to him out of the corner of my eye to find his eyes drifting over me. I wrapped my hoodie around me instinctively trying to hide the imperfections.

“There’s no hoodie big enough to hide your ugliness.” The familiar voice whispered.

I shook my head when I heard music playing, looking back to Jensen. He smiled sheepishly as he set his phone on the table.

“I thought maybe some background noise would help,” He stood up clearing the food from the table then stood in front of me with his hand out, “Trust me?”

His eyes were shining from the afternoon rays of sun coming from the window and his lips were spread in a gentle smile. I exhaled slowly allowing all the tension to leave my body and placed my hand in his. He pulled me up from the couch taking my hands and placing them behind his neck. His large hands slid down my sides to my hips and I flinched.

“You do know that you’re beautiful, right?” He whispered swaying my body with the music.

I shook my head, “I’m really not. Ordinary at best.”

Jensen lifted my chin, piercing (Y/C/E) meeting , “You are far from ordinary, (Y/N).”

“You’re just being kind.” I looked away as he slowly turned us in a circle.

The music continued but Jensen stopped moving, “I have so many questions but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or have you running to the hills.”

“Questions for me? Surely, you have better things to do with your time other than sitting inside with me. Don’t you have fans to entertain?” I smirked.

He chuckled, “Lucky for you, I happen to have the day off. I normally spend the day with my family. However this year they all ditched me.”

I mockingly acted shocked, “Oh no! You poor thing.”

His eyes narrowed in on me before laughing, “My mom and dad are somewhere in Spain enjoying their anniversary gift. My sister decided a girls trip with her best friends was better than hanging with me for the day. My brother is always busy with his family. You’re stuck with me.”

“I guess there’s worse ways to spend my day. Okay, ask away but I’m not promising I’ll answer them all.”

Jensen led me back to the couch, but kept ahold of my hand as we sat back down. He laced his long fingers with mine. His thumb brushing over my knuckle. I settled back against the couch once again wrapping my hoodie around me.

“What were you thinking when I put my hands on your hips earlier?”

I bit my lower lip, “I was mortified that you were touching my squish rolls of skin. I was thinking you must be disgusted by it.”

“Wow…” He squeezed my hand, “Whoever he was he really did a number on you. If I ask his name and address would you be against me and Jared beating the crap out of him?”

A genuine burst of laughter echoed in the room, “He’s really not worth it. Plus, he is much happier with his life now and that’s all that matters. He deserves to be happy.”

I was surprised to see Jensen face scrunched up in anger, “But you don’t?” He leaned in slightly, his features softening.

“No, I don’t.” The words came out without even a second thought and seeing Jensen recoil from them as if they had slapped him in the face twisted my heart.

His tongue darted out over his lips and the electrical energy between us sparked wildly, “You’re wrong. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Any man who told you otherwise is no man at all.”

He was leaning in closer, his eyes never leaving mine. My heart pounding in my ears and my body urging me to meet him in the middle. His forehead pressed against mine and his nose caressed mine.

“I’m going to kiss you.” he whispered.

“I don’t think I remember how to kiss back.” The pathetic confession was followed by a wayward tear slipping down my cheek.

His soft, full lips pressed gently against mine. My mind searched for the file within the long abandoned cabinets for how to kiss someone. He pulled away for a split second only to return his lips to mine. I found my lips pushing against his out of basic instinct. Our lips melded together for a moment before I felt him smile against mine.

His hands cupping my face, “I think it will all come back to you easier than you may think.”

I took in a deep breath letting it out in a short burst, “I think you believe in me too much for only meeting me a few hours ago.”

Jensen was still holding my face as he leaned back, “Other than Jared and Mish, I have never felt closer to anyone, but you.”

“You have your work cut out for you then,” I pointed to my head, “because it’s a nightmarish mess up in here.”

He leaned in kissing me once again, “You are worth every second of being with you because you’re stunning, smart, talented, caring and most of all you’re beautiful inside and out.”

I stared up at him speechless as my inner guard laid down her shield, “I like this one.”

“No… no one has ever said that about me. I-I don’t know what to say or how to react.” I stammered, unable to comprehend what he said.

He smiled widely, “Get used to that feeling because I’m preparing for you to feel that way a lot. Now, I don’t want to test your boundaries too much so I think we should hang out here and watch a movie.”

Jensen moved to the end of the couch resting his arm along the back of it and propping his feet on the table. For the first time in forever, there were no inner voices to keep me from doing what I desperately wanted. I moved over next to him resting my back into his side and stretching my legs out to the other end of the couch. His arm draped over the front of my chest and his fingertips brushed against my side.

This time there was no flinching and I smiled at the small victory.

The rest of the weekend was like a dream. Seeing the convention backstage, meeting all the rest of the other actors on the show and most of all Jensen’s constant touch comforted me throughout it all. Sami beaming with pride as I pushed myself to be in the crowd for the concert on Saturday. When Sunday came, I found myself riddled with sadness knowing I would have to leave this magical weekend behind.

Sami had decided to go back to the hotel while I waited for Jensen to finish his autographs. I had noticed Clif, the boys’ friend and bodyguard, staying close by me. When the last fan left the autograph room, he motioned for me to follow him. Entering the room, I found Jensen with his head down on his table while Jared and Misha were fooling around at theirs.

Walking up, I slid my hands over his shoulders and began rubbing the knots out of them. A small groan escaping his lips sent a wave of desire over my body. I moved my hands down his back eagerly wanting to hear him again.

“Hey, if you’re giving free massages away I’ll take one!” Jared called out.

Jensen’s head snapped up, “Don’t even think about it Padalecki. Her hands are too precious for your sweaty self.”

I chuckled as he stood up letting my hands drift down his back. I knew he was fit but his body was firm and lean in all the right spots. As he moved away I found my fingers stretching out to touch him again. All weekend I had found myself craving his touch. My mind was obsessively thinking about his hand in mine or my arms around his waist or his hands gripping my hips. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and I heard him chuckle.

“You okay? You kind of spaced out for a moment.”

I nodded smiling, “I’m great. Just thinking was all.”

“Well come on, you and I can grab something to eat then hang out in my room.” His arm slipped around my shoulders and instantly I relaxed into his embrace.

Dinner was unexpectedly crashed by Jared and Misha tagging along. We found a twenty-four hours diner near the hotel that was nearly empty and we all spent a few hours talking, laughing. I could not help the sadness creeping over me as the minutes passed by. Minutes I was losing to have Jensen to myself. As if he read my mind he excused us to head back to the hotel.

We walked in silence, hand in hand. Stepping into the elevator, he pulled me into his side and I wrapped my arms around his waist. His room was on the opposite end of the same hall as mine. Stepping inside, the door clicking shut as we stood across from one another. It was like a shotgun going off as Jensen closed the distance between us. His hands sliding down my body as his mouth crashed to mine.

As suddenly as it happened, it was over.

“I’m sorry… shit. (Y/N) I’m really sorry.” His pleads confused me for a moment.

Breathing heavily as he stepped back further from me I blurted out, “W-Why are you apologizing? D-Did I do something wrong?”

His dark forest eyes snapped up, “You do something… you didn’t do anything but be you, (Y/N). I just couldn’t stop myself. This weekend has been the best one in my life. Being around you, holding your hand, kissing you has rejuvenated me. I just want more of you, all of you. Simple looks you give, the way you hold yourself and the moment you open yourself up to reach out to me. I just found myself unable to hold back anymore. I know…”

This time it was me who closed the distance between us. My lips crashing into his. My hands running up his broad chest and into his soft hair. The soft moan escaping my lips as we parted.

“I want you to have me…” I whispered in between breaths, “I’m nervous with a bunch of what ifs running in my head.”

“Do you trust me?” The corner of his lip curling upward.

“Yes.”

Jensen took my hand leading me into the bedroom of his suite. He gently picked me up and sat me on the bed. He knelt in front of me, slipping my shoes from my feet then pulling my socks off. His thumbs pressing into the bottom of my feet as I began to giggle.

“Oh… now that is an amazing sound. I must hear that again.” He smirked, tickling my feet.

I fell back in a fit of giggles as Jensen’s laughter joined mine. I leaned up on my elbows looking down at Jensen resting his chin on my knee. He lifted his brows asking permission and I nodded. His hands drifted over my calves, up to my knees and over my thighs.

“You have incredible legs. I found myself staring at them as you would walk in front of me with Sami. Wondering how they would feel beneath my hands.” He gently squeezed them near my hips.

His knee pressed into the mattress between my legs as his firm body hovered over mine. My fingers brushed against the hem of his shirt pushing it up and hesitantly touching his stomach. Jensen sucked in a quick breath as his hands paused on his hips. I focused on the feeling of his smooth, warm skin beneath my fingertips. His flat stomach is surprisingly soft.

I grasped the end of his shirt pulling it towards his head as he pulled back allowing it over his head. Taking it from my hands, he tossed it on the floor. I took in every inch of his skin from his muscles flexing to the freckles decorating it.

“You beautiful, you know that?” I did not think he heard me until I saw the smug smirk on his face.

He leaned down kissing me, “Stealing my lines, sweetheart.”

His hands went back to my hips as his lips left a trail of kisses down my neck, “You think that your softness is revolting, but I find it inviting.”

I froze as his hand pushed up into my shirt touching my stomach. I squirmed as he pushed my shirt up just under my bra. My hands threading through his hair as his lips pressed small kisses against my stomach.

“Jensen…” The tension in my tone caught his attention.

His eyes filled with worry, “Too much?”

I took a few deep breaths and shook my head, “I’m fine, promise.”

“See there you go, being brave and pushing yourself. You have no idea how sexy that is.” He murmured against my skin.

As Jensen’s mouth neared the waistband of my jeans, I tugged his hair motioning for him to come back up to her. He smiled randomly kissing spots along my body. His lips finally met mine as I slid my arms around him. His tongue swiped across my bottom lip as they parted for him. His gentleness and care to make me comfortable broke down the last existing wall of defense.

Their kiss deepened. My body burned with a need to feel Jensen’s skin against mine and to be close to him in every way physically possible. Foreign pressure began to simmer deep within me and I lifted my hips pressing them against his thigh.

He pulled away his eyes blown with passion searching mine for an answer to a silent question.

“Please… take away everything he did. I want to feel whole again.” I pleaded just above a whisper.

His lips were on mine again as he gently lifted me up further onto his bed. Sitting up, I pulled my shirt over my head holding it in front of me for a brief moment. His eyes watching my every move as I tossed it over the side. He reached behind me with one hand unclasping my bra in one swift movement.

I kissed his collarbone as he leaned in to do so, “Show off.”

He chuckled before leaning back and allowing me at my pace to unveiling my bare chest to him. I slid the straps down my arms holding it in place before playfully tossing it at him chuckling. Joking had always been my way of dealing with uncomfortable moments. When I looked up his eyes were drifting down my bare upper body.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He smirked as I rolled my eyes at him, “Seriously, (Y/N)... you’re absolutely stunning.”

He ran his hand down my chest, between my breasts and down to my jeans. He undid the button and slowly drew down the zipper. Hooking his fingers with a belt loops dragging my jeans down my legs. I shivered as the cool air hit my skin. Jensen tossed them off to the side then began to place gentle, open mouth kisses up my leg.

My breaths were coming out in small little puffs the further up my leg he got. His mouth hovered over her cotton cover mound inching closer to it. My teeth dug into my lip desperately wanting him to press them against me. Instead he kept his path up my body stopping at my breasts. He cupped the side of one running his thumb over my nipple.

A long sigh escaping my lips from just the slightest touch from him, “O-Oh… Jensen…” His mouth had gently suckled my other nipple, the pressure turning to an ache between my legs.

“You have no idea hearing my name from your lips does to me.” He softly said before circling my nipple with his tongue.

Feeling bold, I slid my hand down between us running it along the hard bulge being restrained by denim. Jensen sucked in a sharp breath dropping his head between my breasts, “Shit…”

“I believe I have some kind of an idea.” I smiled as he grinded himself against my palm.

He stood up at the edge of the bed, his intense stare making me tremble with anticipation. Leaning forward, his fingers hooked the sides of her cotton panties and pulled them down until they were on the floor.

“Exquisite, flawless, perfect.”

“As are you.” I sat up until I was sitting on the edge in front of him.

My hands trembled as I unbuttoned his jeans and carefully unzipped them. Jensen let out a soft hiss as I brushed against his length. His hands cupped my face pulling my lips to his urgently kissing me. I pushed his jeans and boxers down as far as I could before he pushed me back onto the mattress. His hand drifting down my body until his fingers pressed against my folds.

“Jensen, please…” I begged needing to feel any kind of relief from the pressure pulsating from between my legs, “Ohhh… god.”

Jensen began to rub lazy circles against my clit. My hips grinding against his hand as his lips pressed just below my ear, “Are you okay?”

His question sober me from the drunken stupor of desire and I placed my hand over his pushing down further, “More than okay.”

Jensen pushed one long finger deep inside me with a hiss, “Fuck pretty girl, your so tight.” He slowly pushed a second finger inside.

My head pressed against the mattress, my back arching as he pumped his thick fingers in me, “More, oh please Jensen, I need more.”

His pace picked up and I looked up to his face. His eyes wide and dark watching me come undone as his thumb rubbed harshly against my throbbing clit, “Jensen!” I cried out overwhelming pleasure wrecked through my body.

Breathing heavily, my body shaking slightly as he pulled his fingers from me, “Now that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

A slow grin spread across my face as I pulled his mouth to mine. He positioned himself between my legs pulling away slightly, his lips grazing against mine.

“Are you sure? We can stop if you want.” Jensen’s tone was tense as I felt his length resting against my folds.

I kissed him, “I need you. All of you.”

He braced himself up with one arm as his hand slipped between us. Jensen ran the swollen head along my slickness before nudging it against my entrance. The room filled with groans and heavy breaths as Jensen slowly sheathed himself within me. There was a singe of pain as I stretched taking him his thick length but quickly was replaced with immense pleasure as he thrusted gently into me.

“So. Tight.” He panted against my cheek.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him digging my heels into him. Each stroke pushing me further to the edge. Feeling every muscle straining along his back and arms. His head buried in the crook of my neck grunting almost painfully. I knew then he was holding back.

I pressed my lips to his ear, “Jensen, I won’t break. You’re making me feel incredible, but I want you to let go. Show me how I make you feel.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest as he nipped at my neck and his hips snapped against me. The echoes of our skin meeting, loving praises and the headboard against the wall filled the room. I started to meet each thrust of his, the coil within me ready to snap. His hands were gripping my shoulders holding me against his burning body. I clung to him scraping my nails against his back making him growl again.

“Shit Jensen, I’m so close. Just a little more, oh god please!” I beg as he thrusted into me feverishly small grunts coming from him, “Yes, yes, oh… Jensen!”

My whole body was shaking as an intense wave of euphoria covered me. Pulsating around him, he abandoned all control chasing his own release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He gritted his teeth as his body went rigid before slamming into me his length twitching deep within me, “Holy shit…”

Jensen rode out his release, his arms shaking to the point he could not hold himself up anymore. I groaned as he pulled out leaving me empty. He rolled onto his back breathing heavily as I curled into his side burying my head into his chest.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His concern only made me cling to him more.

I shook my head, “No, I’m just overwhelmed. Too many feelings at once.”

“Talk it out. Tell me what you’re feeling.” Jensen wrapped his arms around me holding me close.

I took a deep breath, “I’m feeling exhilaration, bliss, pleasure. Right now, I’m feeling empty and it’s almost like I can’t breath. I feel scared by how much I need to feel your touch.”

His fingers were drawing small circles against my bare back, “If that’s your way of asking for round two, you’re going to have to wait for a little bit. I haven’t come like that since I was a teenager.”

There was a brief moment of silence before I started to laugh. My body shaking from the laughter pouring from my lips. I kissed his chest, “Thank you.”

“You never need to thank me. It’s my honor to make you laugh. Bring your pleasure. Praise you for your beautifulness. More importantly, always holding you close to me.”

I entwined my legs with his as he pulled the sheet over our naked bodies. Just when I thought he was about to fall asleep, I slipped my hand over his soft member then pressed my lips just under his chin.

“Round two?”

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

My Nerd Herd: @waywardbaby @ladywinchester1967 @akshi8278 @ericaprice2008 @deans-baby-momma @spnbaby-67 @dean-winchesters-bacon @carryonmywaywardcaptain @-lovepeacenhope- @destiel745 @carribear31 @srsllydunnodoncare @whimsicalrobots @thisismysecrethappyplace @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @adoptdontshoppets @mrswhozeewhatsis @bella-ca @drakelover78 @imascio08 @pisces-cutie @dwgrl1903-blog @mannls @the-salty-asian @winchesterprincessbride @xostephanie @superromijn @witch-of-letters @time-travel-bouqet @screechingartisancashbailiff @myinconnelly1 @sister-winchesters99 @thekatherinewinchester @maddiepants @tumbler-tidbits @sandlee44 @destielhoneybee @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @thefaithfulwriter @stoneyggirl @supernaturalginger @emoryhemsworth @wednesdayismyfunday @team-free-will-you-idjiot @atc74 @cosicas-cuquis @casseythebee

#jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles x plus size!reader #jensen ackles #angst #fluff #smut

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duchessofostergotlands · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, jess! A couple of months ago I sent you an ask about a reality tv show (the farm) and a participant who has bpd (she didn’t win the 1 million price, btw - but she was so happy when she found out that a good portion of the public supported her, specially women ❤️ she’s famous because of only fans and most of her followers on social media, before her participation on the show, were men. So she said she was happy to see so many women supporting and following her now). Anyway while watching the show, I realized many of her behaviors were so similar to mine. Then my mom and sister, who live with me, told me they noticed that too. I decided to ask my psychiatrist and psychologist (I’ve been dealing with depression for the past 10 years), but both didn’t give it much credit. At the time I agreed with them - they said I probably don’t have bpd because the behaviors I was describing only happens when I’m home, with people I trust. I’m very “controlled” when I’m with other people, including my dad (who hasn’t lived with me since I was a kid). The point is, I’m ALWAYS making a huge effort trying to control myself in public - it’s exhausting and I believe it’s one of the reasons I tend to isolate myself. I think I’ve actually learned to camouflage my feelings and to avoid things that trigger me. I used to be more “uncontrolled” as a kid, before I created this deep rooted fear that people’d leave me because of these behaviors and reactions. Do you think it’s possible to camouflage some of bpd’s symptoms? And, if so, do you have any tips on how I could talk to my psychiatrist and psychologist about it? —— I didn’t want to make this ask any longer than it already is, but one of my childhood friends was recently diagnosed with autism. We don’t talk much nowadays, but she messaged me last month to tell me about her diagnosis and to ask if I felt I had some of the same treats - thinking retrospectively, we were very alike. It made a lot of sense and I remembered you said sth about bpd and autism sharing some similarities in some aspects of how the brain works. She also told me about recent studies showing the underreported diagnosis in women. My psychiatrist and psychologist also dismissed it, because I don’t avoid eye contact and have friends. I’m really confused right now, but it’s also kinda relieving to get to know myself a bit more and to think that the struggle I’ve felt my whole life is real. (Sorry for the long text!)

Hey :) Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. Just like to be able to dedicate a bit of time to longer messages like this and I rarely have the attention span for it! But of course I remember the conversation, it was really interesting to hear about what the contestant went through.

So yes, BPD and autism are often misdiagnosed as each other as there are similar traits that are often found. Usually around attractions to patterns and structure and also around empathy. Like I don’t generally feel empathy for people in the same way most people do. I’d say unless you’re a close friend or family member - or maybe if you’re a child - I probably wouldn’t feel empathy towards you. I generally make decisions about moral standpoints and such based on what logically makes sense to me rather than any kind of emotional connection because I just don’t really feel that. I think the reasons autistic people may sometimes struggle with empathy are different but to an external person would seem very similar so can often be confused.

To address your two points that made you unsure about the diagnoses, BPD is definitely highly interpersonal so it can change drastically depending on who you’re with. I can be friends with someone for quite a while and they have no idea but if I’m in a romantic or physical relationship with someone they’ll know within a few days. Romantic relationships are my personal trigger so they’re where I struggle the most. Then in terms of autism, lack of eye contact doesn’t really mean anything. I think that’s a common misconception people have but two of my cousins are autistic and they were both very outgoing and friendly, they were incredibly tactile, I didn’t notice them not looking me in the eye but I probably don’t look people in the eye much because that feels weird haha. Women in particular are not well studied when it comes to autism as you kind of mentioned. They are generally better at “masking” and so are often misdiagnosed or their condition isn’t picked up until well into adulthood. So even if you have friends and can look people in the eye it wouldn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t fit the criteria.

I wouldn’t want to diagnose you with anything myself as I’m not a professional and I don’t know you personally. The DSM outlines the criteria for being diagnosed with BPD. You have to demonstrate at least five of the following and as with all mental illnesses they have to cause a significant impact on your ability to carry out your responsibilities and go through daily life:

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

Pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behavior

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Those are the criteria that would most likely be used to assess you. In the UK we can be diagnosed with depression and anxiety by a GP but have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist to get a PD diagnosis. It sounds like you’ve already been in contact with them. I’m not too sure how it works where you are. Can you get a second opinion? Are there other doctors you could make an appointment with? Could you go private? I’m very aware of the fact that having the NHS in the UK means that my experiences are not applicable to everyone’s circumstances but for me when I first went to get help I was given meds and a depression and anxiety diagnosis and sent on my way. When that didn’t help I went back and got a higher dosage. And then it still didn’t help and finally I was kind of at rock bottom (or I thought so at the time) and needed help and so what I did on that occasion was have a friend accompany me into the room. They had created a list of things they’d seen me do or heard about me doing that were concerning to them and gave them to the doctor, and they kind of backed me up and gave me moral support. It shouldn’t have taken someone else being in the room for me to be taken seriously but having someone there who could express what I might have been too shy or self conscious to say was really helpful. In the end I got referred for treatment and it wasn’t right for me ultimately as my problems were more complex but it helped for a bit. I don’t know if there’s anyone in your life you trust to be able to be there to support you but I think it can be really intimidating to push back with doctors and professionals and having someone there who knows you and cares about you can be the thing that gives you that extra bit of courage you need.

I’m not sure how helpful that is but I’m available if you want to ask me any questions about BPD or any explanations of how I experience the symptoms or anything like that :)

#ask #anon #non royal #mental health #mental illness #actually bpd #actually borderline #bpd #borderline personality disorder

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chamelis · 4 years ago

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I mean no offense in asking this but what about that "curry" song is offensive? Is curry not an important dish in Indian culture and eating beef against the majority religion of India (Hinduism)?

dude... are you kidding?? have you been reading any of the posts?

*sigh* ok. since u asked so nicely, let me spell it out for you. and for anyone who has been too afraid to ask bc they really should have caught on by now.

first, have a look at this post i made, where i talk abt what south asians face generally. in that post, i put a screenshot of some of the lyrics of that song. first of all, the whole tone of those words is extremely unsettling to me - two Korean men making a song about a culture that they're literally not a part of. like, don't even say "appreciation". if you want to appreciate my culture and food, just eat the fucking food??

but that's not even the main thing. the thing that quite literally made my stomach drop was .... i can't even bring myself to quote it accurately but, smth like "if two people were eating curry and one dropped dead, the other wouldn't notice"?? smth along those lines.

so you're telling me that you like eating indian curry so much that you went wrote an unnecessary song about it, and proceeded to make a disgusting joke about how made it smells??? comparing it to a literal corpse?? what the fuck???

and yes, i know this song was made in 2010 and the original artists have now apologised for making it. but it took them 10 years??? really??? other groups have done this before, btw. stray kids and oh my girl, as far as i can remember. and when they did this, their fans also spoke up about it. im not quite sure what the groups did in response, but, clearly this has been an issue within the last 10 years. but only NOW the original artists realised that they majorly fucked up by making this song??

and dont even get me started on their apology. it was full of "we love indian culture we just wanted to make a fun and catchy song about it". norazo, you didnt just do that. you made a song by taking random 'buzz' words from our culture ("shanti", "TAJ MAHAL", "namaste" and all that shit), referenced random things that we abide by without context (eating with the right hand, no beef etc.), and descriptions of curry that you thought were funny ("its yellow, but it doesn't smell nice" or some shit. again, these arent direct quotes because i refuse to look those lyrics up again.)

what you need to understand, anon, is that this is the worst way you could appreciate someone's culture. that song is made by people who clearly know nothing further and deeper about our culture and traditions past "taj mahal" and "namaste". they think it's hilarious that our food tastes so great but smells so shit. you mean to tell me they loooove our culture, but then thought it was okay to take random hindu terminology which has a deeper meaning and relevance, and just throw them in a song about curry??

by now, i really hope you're seeing why the existence of this song is deeply unsettling. but there's more of a problem here. clearly, over the recent years of kpop groups' controversial encounters with this song, svt never realised that the song is offensive. they've had the luxury of not learning why this song is stupid and derogatory and berating to our culture. they've been able to ignore the fact that south asians across the world are misunderstood and discriminated against because people like norazo reduce our culture to these songs with no meaning other than to """appreciate""" something in the worst way possible.

and that's the worst part to me. svt clearly dont have to care about racism and the struggles of other asians. they're famous and rich and they have a korean fanbase to rely on, so they dont have to care about the struggles of international fans. but south asian culture is REPEATEDLY used in kpop for the aesthetic - there are so many examples of this that you could probably Google it and find a plethora of kpop controversies explained by south asians.

and you know why this keeps happening?? because culturally, in korea, people aren't understanding why shit like this is dumb and wrong. when it comes to idols and their companies, they're either ignoring the uproar (like pledis), or making a half assed apology and then proceeding to appropriate and diminish another culture for their next comeback. so yeah, svt and other idols aren't forced to care about this shit, but they need to start caring. and if they don't, i and a lot of other south asian fans aren't gonna keep loving and supporting and paying them just for them to turn around and slap us in the face by perpetuating harmful and stupid stereotypes of us.

my friend v made a good post here which explains how kpop has brought global east asian rep and broke stereotypes, and now we need the same for south asian cultures. we have an incredibly beautiful and rich cultural background, but when people make songs like this and idols sing them and find them catchy or funny, they reduce our cultures to a couple words and stereotypes. they make us feel small. insignificant past being people that eat smelly curry with our fucking right hand. i am more than that. south asians are more than that. and at this point, i don't even know if svt, the people whom I've given so much love, know that.

I'd like to believe that they had no racist intentions. but that frankly doesn't matter either way. they fucked up by singing that song and seeing nothing wrong with it. and they're still fucking up by staying silent about it. and this is gonna allow some rookie group to make the same fucking mistake in the future, and the cycle repeats, and south asians are continually discriminated and made to feel shit about themselves because of some song that their favourite idols can't stop singing no matter how many times they're told to.

lastly, if you've read all of this and decided that south asian fans are being dramatic and we're "cancelling ppl for no reason", just send me another ask saying so. then I'll block your IP address.

alternatively, if you have a genuine question about this, if my wording didn't make sense at any point, my inbox is open. but pls be polite. it's the least i ask for.

you can refer to this post which is pinned on my page which has resources you can use to contact pledis and tell them to make an apology statement and urge svt to understand their mistake + inform themselves on this issue.

#asks #answered #anonymous #anon i just woke up and spent 30 mins writing that for you lmao pls be thankful #svt sitch.#ok to rb!

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hu4ngs · 5 years ago

Note

Ten as a boyfriend pls! Thank you!!

ohhhh boi

omg this baby

first of all congrats, you’ve got yourself a MAN

so let’s go from a to z

you met him when you attended your friend’s (let’s say guanheng) sports match

you weren’t all close to guanheng, so you have no idea who’s in his friend’s circle

and you were very much surprised that he asked you - of all people - to go to his match

so as a token of gratitude, you attended

you sat on the bleachers

you sat next to ten ;)

your first thought when you saw him was that you think he looks so much alike guanheng

when ten caught you staring, him being a lil shit, he just HAD to call you out, playfully, of course

“take a picture, it lasts longer”

you’re confused and taken aback

“i’m sorry, what?”

he laughed at you, before shaking his head

“i was kidding!” he told you

and then you laughed, but you were still very confused

ten, on the other hand, just brushed it off

although he’s a little embarrassed that his joke didn’t come through

there was an awkward silence between you two now

“so who are you here for?” he asked

“my friend, guanheng. he said this is his first time being a regular, so he wants every one he knows to -”

“to go see his match?” he finished your sentence for you

you’re really confused with this man

you nodded nevertheless, “how’d you know?”

surprise surprise

guanheng and him are friends!

so you two exchanged instagrams cuz why not

he’s hot, you’re hot, i don’t see a problem here

and then it just continued on since then

you’d reply to his story

he’d reply to your story

it continued on like that for about two months

and then ten finally tells you that he’d like to have your number

you’re more than happy to give them to you

then you two started playing imessage games together

ten: damn you really suck at cup pong, y/n

you: literally leave me alone

ten: saving your number as ‘loser’ now

this goes on for a few more months i tell you

because ten is a prideful person

he’s not just gonna give in and admit to himself (or to anyone, for that matter) that he has fallen in love

plus, if you’re gonna get TEN to have a crush on you, you’re gonna have to wait longer than 3 months, this man isn’t here for puppy love, he’s here for LOVE love

after months, and you two are noticeably comfortable with each other now, you started opening up a little

every now and then you’d talk about your day to him

and ten appreciates that

he feels needed

he feels wanted

and he loves feeling that way

he loves feeling important to someone

even if he doesn’t open up as much as you do, you didn’t mind

you figured when he wants to open up, he will

and he noticed this about you, and totally loved this about you

plus to you, it’s not a big matter anywas

oh, you’re so oblivious with your feelings for him that was increasingly growing that’s why you’re so tolerable for him

one fine day

more like night

you were texting him

and ten asked you out

das right

just you two, out on a date

he was so straightforward about it??? big dick energy right there

n e ways

you’re like holy shit holy fuck oh my god wow

of course you said yes

only an absolute fool wouldn’t say yes to ten

so the next day yall meet up

he looks stunning

you look stunning

oh god i love a power couple

ten’s a little shy than he was the last time you saw him

and when he’s shy, he giggles and smiles a lot its adorable i tell you i’m so in love with you, ten

anywAys

he took you out to see a movie

and there wasn’t any bomb movie at that time so yall settled with a horror movie

but its shitty though

but it’s okay bc it’s the memories that matters xoxo

ten purposely picked the couple seat btw

he’s a sly fox

like i said it was a crappy horror movie so you weren’t really scared

but ten was surprisingly kept on his toes during some parts

considering all the times ten had teased you thru text

you decided to jumpscare him

you whispered-yelled a ‘boo!’ to him during the suspense part

and he actually S C R E A M

mans screamed LMAO

the few people who came to watch the movie gave you two quick glances

“i’m gonna beat your ass, y/n!” he told you

but you were too busy laughing to react to him

after the movie ended

ten was still a lil mad that you embarrassed him like that

so you decided to take him to an arcade

ten quickly got over it and was excited to beat you in games like he usually does

“try beating me in real basketball the same way you did in the imessage version, loser!” ten told you

and obviously he won

virtual basketball and actual basketball are two different things

and you sucked at sports, even if its just an arcade game

i hope you know what basketball game im talking about omfg

and then you decided to play that shooting game where you have to kill zombies

it was nerve-wrecking

you two were literally SO loud with letting out frustrations about how the zombies should just ‘leave you alone’ and how they should ‘go fuck themselves’

but yall actually won the game!!

you losers actually WON!!

you were so happy because you’re so used to losing in games

that you just,,, pulled ten into a hug

as you excitedly laugh, happily telling him that you’ve won because of how good your teamwork was

your ear was pressed exactly to where his heart was

and you’re surprised that his heart was beating so fast and so loudly

maybe it’s just the adrenaline from playing the game

so you brushed it off

then you went out to eat together

and when yall were eating

you talked to each other a bit more

talking about random things and facts about yourselves

you know,,, small talk and shit

ten, at this point, had already acknowledged that he has feelings for you

but after knowing how much you’re well educated about things he’s interested in, he falls harder for you

as you were busy talking

he couldn’t help but hold one of your hand that was on the table

you quickly became quiet as you stared down at his hand

“ten?”

“hey, y/n?”

you nodded as a response, wondering what the hell is he up to now

“do you think i’m a dumbass?”

you laughed at that question, not thinking much of it

you are, in fact, more intrigued with him holding your hand like that

“sure, sometimes you are”

he chuckled at your answer

and then he made eye contact with you

“well am i a dumbass if i told you that i like you? and that i wanna date you?”

you almost choked on your food

“wait! wait, wait. do you mean that?”

“of course”

you didn’t think twice

you’ve never been so sure about an answer your WHOLE life until now

“then yes, you are a dumbass! but, i like dumbasses. especially cute ones like you”

oh boy ten loves his baby confident like that btw ^

and voila! ever since then you two became a couple

NOW i was so into writing this

let’s get to the point

him as your boyfriend?

nothing changed much

except now he takes you out in so much dates

he loves you so much, and he’s constantly reminding you

he’s not one to admit his love as often as it seemed, so he’d show it through his act of kindness

he knows how much you appreciate the little things

so, he’d shower you with little things

he’d tell you to be safe when you’re on your way to somewhere

facetimes/calls you whenever you tell him a good news, just to congratulate you and say ‘i love you and i’m proud of you, baby!’

he has a lot of petnames for you

baby, angel, babe, honey, darling, fatass, loser, the list goes on

he comes over so often you have a hard time trying to sneak him out whenever your family member comes back from work/school

he’d tease you a lot for being scared to introduce him to your parents though

but he doesn’t mind, when you’re ready, you’re ready

he doesn’t really hug a lot

he kisses you a lot though

he lovesssss giving you a peck on your lips

when you two meet up? kiss

when you’re going back home? kiss

when you made a funny joke? kiss

when he finds you adorable? kiss

oh my god your first kiss with him was totally accidental

ten was showing you his new art and you complimented him

it boosted his self confidence

and then he was jokingly saying “your boyfriend is such a genius artist, don’t you think?”

he was walking towards you at the same time

then he accidentally tripped whilst he was rambling on about how amazing he is

but it’s okay he landed straight into your arms so you managed to catch him before he falls and breaks his nose

BUT his lips landed a centimetre away from your lips

when he pulled back he was like O__O

“did i kiss you?”

“no”

“aw, that sucks”

you were kinda blushing now

he saw you like this, and took this opportunity

he quickly wrapped his arm around your waist, and leaned in to kiss you

it wasn’t THAT passionate

but it was sweet

he was smiling in the kiss when you kissed back

when he pulled away, your noses were still touching

and he took the time to admire your beautiful face

“i love you, babe”

ANYWAYS!! OH MY GOD THIS IS GETTING ME IN MY FEELS!!!!

he compliments you a lot too

he’s constantly reminding you that you’re beautiful

sometimes he invites you when he’s going out with guanheng/taeyong/johnny because he wants everyone he cares about to meet you

he talks about you a lot to his family, too

saying how lovely you are, and how smart you are

and that his family would absolutely adore you when you meet them

god he praises you so much he literally boosts your confidence

oh ALSO!!!

he’d go to every event you joined

you’re doing a performance at your school/college? he’s there to support you

your school’s doing an open carnival and you’re the host for the event? he’ll be there

you’re at a math championship? he’s sitting amongst the crowd praying you’d do your best

you’re volunteering? you’re going together because no way in hell is he gonna let you do all these hard work without his help

you appreciate this so much, it means a lot to you

during your anniversaries/birthday, he’d surprised you a lot

he’d buy you the gift that you didn’t remember telling him that you wanted it

along with 10 other gifts that he bought you

he’ll take you to that fancy restaurant you’ve been eyeing a lot whenever you two go out

he’ll also remind you how much he loves you because you just mean so much to him

whenever you two argue

he’s usually a dick ngl

he’s got a sassy mouth

it’s not his fault if he roasts you

also

you two argue quite often too

some more serious than the other

ten builds a big wall around his heart because he’s just a guarded person in general

it takes a long time for him to open up and trust someone

but once he does, he trusts said people very dearly

even so, whenever you argue, it’d take a while for him to cheer up

it takes an even longer time if he was in the wrong, because he’s quite an egotistical person

but once he cools down completely

he’ll go see you

and he’ll cuddle with you for as long as he can

caressing your hair

whispering sweet nothings into your ear

he does feel guilty of course, but its kinda difficult for him to apologise, so he does these act of kindness instead as an apology

he doesn’t mean anything that he said when he argued with you though

he was simply just trying to win the argument

he’s so glad that you’re able to tolerate with him

because not a lot of people can

he appreciates you a lot for that

he makes it clear that he’d do anything for you because you’re simply worth the effort

in conclusion

ten would be an amazing boyfriend for you

he loves you dearly

he will be the best boyfriend ever

his hugs will linger with you for days

his kisses gets sweeter each time he kiss you

although he can be an ass sometimes

it can’t be helped, that’s part of ten’s nature

he’s a lil mischievous, so you need to tolerate with that, the same way he’ll have (and will) tolerate with your bad sides too

please don’t ever let him go

ten as your boyfriend will make you forget about you exes, he’s just THAT amazing

i said it countless times but im gonna say it again

he loves you so much, so so so so so much, you’re his own personal angel to him

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 30

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: idk, i feel like its a bad excuse for a chapter. especially the ending. im sorry for the bad writing.

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 30 : His chapter

NIALL

I had been in denial for so long that when reality hit me, it hit me hard. After the conversation with Louis, I went back home and locked myself in for a few days. I didn't try to call anyone, and didn't answer the door or my phone either. I needed time to think and I ended up watching comedy movies for days without really focusing on any of them. It was crazy to always think about the same person, to wonder what they're doing or what they would do or say if they were here... but it was happening to me. It had never happened to me before.

I would spend hours laying in bed with my eyes open, thinking about the conversations Olivia and I could have and have had before. So many things became obvious now that I knew she had feelings for me, so many of her words or actions made so much sense now... and some of mine, too.

I had thought about her sexually for a few weeks now but it never crossed my mind that it could be love. Not because it was not, but because it was easier for me to believe it was lust.

I started thinking about so many things we went through, so many things we lived together, so many times we were there for each other. I didn't have that many memories with anyone else and it's only when I realized that I wanted all my memories to include her that it hit me. I loved her. I was in love with her.

Why did it take me so long to realize that? Why did it take her so long to admit her feelings to me? She said she had always loved me and I couldn't even begin to guess how she must have felt all these years.

My reaction to her confession was pathetic. It was fear and when I admitted that to myself, I started writing. At first, it was only a bunch of words thrown on a napkin at a bar but with time spent on my piano, it became something that was potentially worth turning into a real song. I had never written a song that deep in such a short period of time and when I decided it was done, I was not sure what to do with it.

I was not proud to say I ended up in a bar a few times, searching for a girl to meet and bring home but every time I was close to do it, I would run away. There was a reason why I couldn't have sex with Maya and the same reason stopped me from banging a random girl I didn't know... and I missed that reason. I fucking missed her.

I had never been as nervous as I was then when I saw her walking behind Louis and sitting at the table. Seeing her after two weeks without any contact with her was refreshing. She looked exactly the same, she looked exactly like the girl I was in love with. There was nothing I wanted more than find a way to apologize to her, to prove her that I was sorry and that my feelings were real. I was not the type who would display or expose my feelings but I knew that this time, I had to go big, if only because I felt like I owed her. If paps and online articles wanted to talk about it and post pictures, then whatever. She was more important.

I didn't care about everyone who stood up when I was done singing, I didn't care about the clapping and the cheering. I was only looking at her and she was crying. She walked up to me and I cupped her face, wiping her tears with my thumbs. I don't know how many times and for how long I kissed her but I didn't want to stop. It was completely different than the first kiss we shared when we were teens. In fact, it was completely different than any other kiss I've ever had. Was that too cheesy to say? She tasted amazing, a mix of expensive beer and candies, and I couldn't believe I had waited that long to discover that taste.

"I love you." I whispered against her mouth, deepening the kiss very slowly, making sure I would feel everything. "You still love me, yea?"

“Don’t be stupid.” she replied, just as low. “I always have and I always will.”

"Me too. I always have, and I always will." I answered, my grip tightening on her jaw. "I was just.. a fucking idiot. And a blind one at that. I hope you can forgive me."

She suddenly seemed taller and I noticed she got on her tiptoes, her hands moving from my wrists to my hands on her cheeks. My eyes opened and her lips curled into a fond smile as my gaze traveled on her face.

"That song forgave everything."

Her words made me smile and I suddenly relaxed, realizing that I was still scared. I was scared she had given up on me, that she didn't trust me.. that she didn't love me anymore. She could have changed her mind, she could have given up on us, I could have lost her... but she was still there, even after all the pain I put her through, she was there, ready to give me an other chance that I wasn't sure I deserved.

"I promise I'll write you many, many more."

Once again, I brought my lips back on hers, wondering if it would always be like this, wondering if I would get addicted to the taste of her mouth, or if maybe I already was.

"Okay, okay guys, it's time to drink."

I groaned in her mouth when I heard Louis' voice and moved away slightly before sighing.

"Fuckin' Tommo." I mumbled with a grimace before my eyes fluttered open again.

Olivia laughed and got back down on her feet but when she turned around to go join our friends, I found her hand quickly and squeezed her fingers. It was not the first time we held hands but it felt like it because this gesture meant more than it ever did before.

"Livi, hey." Louis said, pushing her mug on the table. "Aren't you glad you spent those five minutes on your hair now?"

She started laughing and I frowned with a smile at the inside joke I didn't get. I turned to Louis and raised my eyebrows as a question, making him grin.

"It's nothing, Neil, but you should have seen your girlfriend's hair when I knocked at her door." Louis explained, making my heart jump in my chest. "Priceless. And I said that 'cus no one would have paid for that."

My eyes found Olivia's and I didn't have to say anything. The fact that she was now my girlfriend had hit both of us at the same time and I was blissful... like intoxicated by the realization.

"You should see her when she just woke up." I pointed out, sending Liv a smirk and finally turning back to Louis. "A real mess."

"Really?" he replied with a thick accent, glancing at her. "I bet you can't wait to find out what her sex hair looks like."

I didn't expect that answer and choked slightly on my beer. Louis laughed, slapping my shoulder in a friendly manner, and left to get something else to drink. I finally sat next to Olivia and leaned my elbows on the table, turning my head to look at her.

"Are you okay with that?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"With what?" she frowned with an amused smile. "You and Louis laughing at my hair?"

"No," I chuckled. "With being my girlfriend."

Her smile turned into a shy one and she looked down chuckling sadly and shaking her head.

"Niall, being your girlfriend is what i've always wanted." she explained low.

I used two fingers to move her chin up and make her look in my eyes. She looked just as vulnerable as she seemed when she admitted her feelings to me but this time, I was not going to run away. My eyes roamed on her face and I licked my lips.

"I'm so sorry I've hurt you all these years." I apologized in a whisper. "I love you, real love."

Her smile came back, more gentle, fond and endearing than ever, and my heart twisted in my chest. I didn't want to ever hurt her anymore and I was going to do anything I could to keep her happy.

"I think we should leave, it's getting late." I proposed when I realized she wouldn't answer.

She simply nodded and we said our goodbyes, thanking out friends for their support and finally getting out of the too crowded bar. Instinctively, I gripped her fingers and pulled her closer, moving my arm up and making her twirl around. She giggled like a kid and it made me grin. She looked up in my eyes and I knew I didn't have to say anything. We reached my car and I opened the door for her but she tilted her head and frowned.

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" she asked, worry in her voice.

"Yea, no problem, I only drank a beer." I answered with a shrug.

She sat in the car and closed the door as I did the same but when I glanced at her, she had her eyebrows raised and a small smile on her lips. I loved her facial expressions, I always have. She was the funniest person I knew.

"What?" I asked with a smile too.

"You only had one beer?" she questioned. "One?"

This time, I chuckled and raised one of my shoulders, bringing my head closer before shaking it. I knew it was unusual for me and i couldn't blame her for being surprised.

"Yes, one." I repeated with an other chuckle. "I wanted to be sober for the song but when it was over I drank one. So yea, it was the only one."

She smiled fondly at me again and I just knew I was going to get that look very often from now on. Perhaps she looked at me that way a lot, I just never really noticed before. Or wanted to notice.

"Thank you."

"And also, I couldn't let you clumsy ass drive my new car." I joked as she hit my arm lightly, making me laugh even more.

I started the car and we drove around town in silence. The night was cold and it started snowing, bringing a magical vibe to the moment and although I knew she was not a fan of winter, I could see the happiness in her eyes as she watched the snow fall slowly. It's only when we were close to my house that I felt her hand on my thigh. I thought i'd stiffen at her touch but it was the complete opposite : it relaxed me in a way I couldn't explain, not even to myself.

We got out of the car and walked to the front door still not talking and I closed the door behind us. I knew I didn't have to explain anything, I just glanced at her and smiled.

"Grab a few blankets, i'll join you."

She just nodded and I reached the kitchen to make some tea, adding a cloud of milk in both and going through the sliding door of my kitchen. She was sitting on the small bench, staring up, her shoulders covered with a blanket and when I handed her her favorite mug, she turned to me and smiled. I sat next to her and grabbed a part of the blanket to cover my shoulder too and put the beanie she handed me on. We stared up in silence, just watching the snowflakes fall and cover the ground, and in that moment, everything was perfect.

"So everyone was right." I broke the silence, turning to look at her. "About us being more than just best friends. It was... written in the stars, or something cheesy like that?"

I raised my eyebrows with a small smile and she shrugged, tilting her head. She looked pretty with one of my beanies covering her head and an old scarf I hadn't worn in years around her neck, all wrapped up in blankets as she held her tea with both hands. In fact, she was breathtaking.

"No it was just..." she shrugged in a cute way and looked away before looking back at me. "Obvious."

I bent down close to her and reached her lips with mine, and it made my heart jump in my chest. It was so weird to do that yet it felt natural. I saw her close her eyes just as I closed mine and the feeling of her mouth against mine made me feel better than I thought. I hadn't felt like that when I kissed Maya or Heidi or any of the other girls I kissed before. This feeling was different and better. I couldn't lie to myself, it was much better, so much better.

"I see it too." I murmured, my lips brushing against hers as I talked. "It really is obvious now."

---

I let her borrow some of my clothes to sleep even if we both knew she had left some of hers in my drawers. She had always preferred wearing my clothes and I had always enjoyed watching her wear them. Perhaps it was a bit possessive but the feeling of seeing her in Harry's clothes was horrible and I never got used to it.

"Tired?" I asked, putting my shirt on and turning to her.

"Not really." she shrugged, making me smile.

"Come here, I want to hug you."

It was the kind of things I could have said even before we started dating but once again, it meant so much more now that she was my girlfriend.

"Yea?"

"Yea.

"Catch me, then!"

She started running, taking me by surprise and passing right by me quickly. She was already in the hall when I started running after her, reaching my arm in front of me. My fingertips brushed against her arm and she squealed, making me laugh. She jumped on my couch and ran on it and I got suddenly scared she'd fall down but she jumped back on the floor and ran back where she came from. I ran quicker and bent down slightly, wrapping my arm around her waist and pushing her in my room before throwing her on the bed. I moved on top of her, straddling her waist and holding her wrists above her head as we were both panting.

"Caught ya." I whispered with a smirk.

"You did." she admitted just as low, licking her lips.

My gaze moved to her mouth and I dipped my head down again to kiss her. My grip on her wrists loosened but she didn't move. She just answered my kiss, smiling the whole time.

The last time I ran after her and tackled her down was because she teased me, saying only crazy girls wanted to kiss me. Now, she was the one I was kissing and she didn't seem to hate it. Perhaps, the girls who want to kiss me aren't all crazy, but I was not going to mention that. We had also ended up exactly in this position and it was right after that sex dream I had.

"I really, really want to touch you." I whispered in-between kisses.

She moved her arms and I let her, letting go of her wrists. Her hands ran on my shoulders and down my arms, but I kept kissing her for a few seconds before moving slightly away. I stared in her eyes and she bite her bottom lip gently. I had noticed that habit and i loved it.

"Maybe tomorrow, okay?"

I felt my heart sink in my chest but I smiled and nodded lightly. "Okay."

I kissed her softly one last time and got off of her to turn the lights off in the house. When I got back in my room, she was laying under the blankets, looking at the ceiling. I turned the light off too and joined her, laying on my back and staring up, too.

I knew I could wait for us to have sex and I knew it was not something urgent, even if I really wanted her, but I felt like she was a bit scared, and so was I, if only because I was not sure what she liked and what she didn't like.

"How do you feel?" I just wondered in a gentle tone.

"Better now." she whispered.

Silence again. Not an awkward silence, no. A light and warm silence that we both enjoyed.

"Did you write that song for me?" she finally asked after a while.

I knew this question had been burning her lips since our first kiss at the bar and I sort of anticipated it. I smiled, still looking at the ceiling, and brought my hands behind my head.

"Yes, I wrote it for you." I confessed, turning my head her way. "Only you."

We stopped talking again as we both tried to process what was happening between us. Now that we were laying together in the dark the way we always are, it felt real and true and once again, it hit me hard.

"You were wrong, you know?" I pointed out, still staring at her, now seeing her very well in the darkness of the room.

"About what?" she asked in a murmur, licking her lips.

I looked down at her mouth, trying not to focus too much on kissing her again and finally looked up in her eyes.

"The One Direction song that represents us the most is not Infinity, it's probably Home."

She turned her body my way and smiled, bringing her hand to my cheek. I moved my body to face her too and put my hand on her waist, feeling her fingertips brush on my skin softly.

"And Drag Me Down? Maybe?"

She smiled and I did the same.

"A bit of End Of The Day?"

"What A Feeling." she added, making both our smiles grow.

"Fireproof."

"Everything About You."

I frowned, an amused smile still on my lips, and laughed.

"What? Could you have picked an even older song or what?"

We both burst into laughter and I pulled her closer to me. She smelled good and she looked happy. Just seeing her like that made me feel happy too.

"I thought you hated that album." I pointed out, raising my eyebrows as she shook her head.

"No, it's just my least favorite because you don't sing enough." she explained, moving her chin slightly up to look in my eyes. I could feel her breath on my skin and it made me want to kiss her. Again. "I don't hate anything you do. Except... when you date extra gorgeous models. That, I really hate."

"Says the girl who dated my sex symbol of a bandmate."

She laughed lightly and the sound was incredible. Was that what it felt like to be in love? To think everything the other person does is endearing, sweet, incredible... to feel something explode in your stomach every single time you look at them... Was that what I was blessed to feel ever single day for the rest of my life?

"The truth is... The first time I kissed Maya, it was right after you kissed Harry." I had realized that a few days after Liv had admitted her feelings for me and it had been a shock. All these reactions I couldn't explain now made so much sense. "I was scared, and lost and... and I was jealous, Olivia. I was so fucking jealous."

I didn't expect it but she suddenly crushed her mouth against mine, one of her hands pressing on my cheek as her lips kissed me avidly. Her tongue slipped in my mouth and I finally answered the kiss, pulling her as close as I could and squeezing her body against mine. It was not a gentle kiss, it was rough and passionate and I was a bit scared of how turned on it would make me, especially after she said she wanted to wait before we did anything sexual. She slowed the kiss after a while and I groaned low in her mouth before she pulled away.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, her fingertips slide down my neck.

"Don't be." I answered in a low tone too. "I'm the one who should be sorry. For everything. Just... you should stop kissing me like that, it makes me want... more."

She laughed and her eyes roamed on my face as she let one of her hand slip down my chest. Her gaze never left mine but her smile fell and she started nibbling on her bottom lip. I could feel my heart throb hard in my chest and remained motionless, just looking at her and telling myself how much I loved her.

"I never said anything about not touching you." she just replied as she moved her hand on my cock over my sweatpants. "I mean, if you want me to."

"You don't have to ask." I reached for her hand and pressed it harder against my dick. "I always want you to touch me."

Her smile came back and I fought against the urge I had to kiss her. Her hand rubbed on me slowly but it's only when she slid it in my pants that I held my breath, focusing on the way her fingers wrapped around my cock. She took it out slowly and I realized how hard I was, even after only a few seconds of her touch. She started stroking me gently and I let out a groan, my eyes fluttering as I tried to keep them open. Her lips parted at the same time then mine when she jerked me off quicker and i whispered a curse word. Her thumb rubbing steadily on my tip brought me closer to my orgasm but it's only when her other hand slipped on my balls that I let out a moan.

"That time I fingered you." I whispered without thinking. "It turned me on so bad I came in my pants."

I watched the expression of slight surprise on her face and her movements faltered for a few seconds before her lips reached mine again, this time a bit softer. I groaned again in her mouth when one of her fingers slid right under my tip and I bit her bottom lip maybe a bit too hard.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum so hard, petal."

I could swear I felt her shiver next to me and I couldn't decide what turned me on more : her or what she was doing. With an other curse word, I felt an orgasm spread inside me and gripped the sheets of the bed hard as I came, my lips rubbing against hers with every jerk of my body. When I opened my eyes again, she was staring at me with a small smile and I grinned back at her. I couldn't remember the last time I didn't have to guide a girl on what to do to make me cum when it came to handjobs.

"I fucking love you." I breathed out with a chuckle, making her lips curl more.

"I fucking love you too." she repeated after about a minute.

We stayed in silence, just looking at each other, for a very long time until she yawned and I laughed. She looked adorable, why didn't I notice that before?

"I'll be right back."

I nodded and waited for her as she went to the bathroom while I pulled my pants back up and tried to lay down comfortably in bed. I was tired too but there was no way I would fall asleep without her in bed with me. I felt myself start smiling as soon as she entered the room again and although I thought it was a bit pathetic, I really didn't care.

"You're gonna hold me all night?" she wondered, her eyebrows raised, as I felt the warmth of her body close to mine.

I was never going to stop loving this girl. I could feel it in my bones, in every fiber of my being. She was my person, and I was a fucking idiot for not realizing it before.

"Do I ever not?"

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #amc #i promise more fluff and smut and drama anddddd emotions (good and bad) asap

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ethanplaysfavorites · 6 years ago

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Scared to Be Lonely – part 2 (Ethan Ramsey X MC)

Note: You can read part 1 here. Thank you all so much for the feedback, I’m so glad you liked it! I hope you’ll like this one too 😊 Also after seeing this amazing post from @thirstyforvillains I decided to accept that Ethan looks exactly like David Gandy which means I’ll include gifs from this point on.

Note #2: Taylor Westbrook is my MC so I’ll use her this time.

By the time she walked into his apartment, Ethan had already put a new bottle of wine on the kitchen island, ready to pour some for the both of them. This made Taylor think, though.

“You said you drove to the park,” she began with raised eyebrows. When he nodded, she went on. “But you’d drunk quite a lot of wine before that trip.”

Ethan let out a long sigh and raised his hand to rub the back of his neck. “Yes, that… wasn’t a wise move but in my defense, I didn’t have much choice.”

“You could’ve just stayed in this neighborhood,” Taylor pointed out with a teasing smile, knowing perfectly well he went all the way there just to meet her.

“Sure, I could have,” he replied as he handed her one of the glasses. “But I knew Jenner would prefer the park.”

Nodding, she looked down and scratched the back of the dog’s ear. If Ethan really didn’t want to tell her the truth, she wouldn’t push him, especially not today. By now she knew he would start talking eventually so there was no point rushing him.

Silence fell between them and Taylor began to wonder what to think of this situation. When she sat on the couch, he did the same, and this time he sat much closer than he’d done earlier that day. In general, he was sending mixed signals to her recently, and most of the time she had no idea what to do.

This man was the reason she came to Edenbrook. She looked up to him. She even considered him some sort of a mentor. But things had changed recently. He began to open up, talking about his personal life when she asked him about it. Every now and then, especially during the past week or two, Taylor thought about what she really wanted.

Despite what he usually said, Ethan was almost like a friend. But times like this, when he clearly let his walls down, things became different. Things were more… intimate. And this was confusing and even a little scary because they hadn’t known each other for that long. It was a little too fast.

“Is everything okay?”

When she turned to him, Ethan rested his elbow on the back of the couch and watched her as he took a sip of his wine. She hadn’t noticed how mesmerizing his eyes were before but now… It was hard to focus.

In the end she cleared her throat and said, “Yeah, I was just thinking.”

But while she spoke, all she could think about was a part of Taylor Swift’s song Gorgeous. ‘Ocean blue eyes, looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die.’ It was so stupid, she honestly felt like she was a teenager again, having some stupid schoolgirl crush on someone.

She pulled up her knee to finally face him and the two of them watched each other for a while, both waiting for the other to break eye contact first. The silence in the room wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. No, it felt good and natural, and she didn’t really want it to end. They were lost in their own little world, like a bubble that temporarily kept them away from the harshness of the real world.

“Thank you for coming here,” he suddenly told her with a grateful smile.

“That’s the least I can do,” Taylor replied softly, raising her glass. “Hey, why don’t we watch a movie?”

“What movie?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Well, I mean, you told me you hadn’t seen ‘It’ yet.”

“‘It’?” Ethan asked with raised eyebrows.

“The movie based on Stephen King’s novel?” When he shook his head, she let out a tired groan, not ready to explain what the movie was about. Instead she only put her glass on the coffee table and said, “Come on, you need a distraction.”

He thought for a couple of seconds then, after seeing the pleading look in her eyes, he nodded. “Alright, fine.”

“Great!” Taylor said as she happily clapped her hands.

Though he didn’t say it, she could have sworn Ethan actually enjoyed the movie. Sometimes she glanced over at him and noticed a faint smile on his lips which was a good sign. It meant he could finally forget about his problems, even if just for a little while. When the movie ended, they said goodnight to each other and she took a quick shower before heading to bed.

She was tired and fell asleep almost right away, but after only an hour or two she woke up to an unfamiliar melody, as if someone was playing the piano somewhere near. As she listened closely, she realized it came from the living room. With a frown she got out of bed and walked there to see what was going on. Out there he found Ethan sitting on the bench, so lost in the song he played that he didn’t notice her entering the room.

“Wow, I didn’t notice there was a piano here,” she noted when she stopped next to him.

Ethan stopped and turned to look at her, dark circles already forming under his eyes. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it.” She sat down next to him and pressed a key or two just to try it. After taking a deep breath, she looked over at the attending. “Can’t sleep?”

“I have a lot of things on my mind,” he admitted quietly, his attention turning back to the keys as he began to play again.

Taylor closed her eyes and listened to the melody for a few seconds before clearing her throat to get his attention and make him stop. When he did, she said, “I assume it’s not the first time lately.”

“You’re right, it’s not,” he replied with a nod as he looked up at her. “Is it that obvious?”

“You look tired, you’re grumpier than usual… Yeah, it’s obvious,” she said with a sad smile.

Without answering he looked away and let out a sigh. She had no idea what was going on but she guessed he just needed some time to figure out how to say what was on his mind. Sure enough, a few minutes later he finally turned back to her and said, “I hope you know that if I snap at you at work, it’s not personal. Don’t take it too seriously, okay?”

“Why?”

“Because you,” he began slowly, but his voice faded and he didn’t finish the sentence. “I just have a lot on my mind with Naveen’s case, leading the diagnostics team and dealing with that competition. And I’m not… exactly known for my patience.”

“That one I know,” she noted with a small laugh.

Ethan ran a hand through his hair and looked away. She found it suspicious, especially after noticing the hurt look in his eyes. But what really broke her heart was the way he suddenly said, “I’m sorry, Taylor.”

Without thinking she shook her head and put a hand on his leg. “No, it’s okay, I’m not mad. I’m just worried about you, that’s all,” she added, even flashing a supportive smile at him.

Slowly Ethan reached out to sweep a strand of hair behind her ear, then he rested his palm on her cheek. Taylor didn’t move, she didn’t speak, she just waited for him to finally do or say something. He was clearly struggling, battling his own feelings, but there was nothing she could do about it now. This was something he had to figure out alone, she simply couldn’t push him.

Soon he leaned forward, only stopping when his lips were just an inch away from hers. He hesitated. Taylor could feel his long fingers on her cheek, his warm breath on her lips, and the anticipation slowly drove her crazy. Why didn’t he kiss her? What was he waiting for?

Suddenly he gulped and leaned back to build some distance between them. “We should probably get some sleep,” he said hoarsely.

“Yes, you’re right,” she lied without missing a beat.

They both stood up and hurriedly retreated to their own bedrooms without saying anything else to each other. Of course, she wasn’t stupid, she knew perfectly well why he did it. Ethan was her boss. She took part in the competition to get a spot on his team. The thought of the two of them being more than co-workers or simple friends was… outrageous, unethical and unprofessional.

PS: I’m evil. And that’s definitely NOT how I was planning to end this part. It just... happened. // If you found typos and/or other errors, I’m sorry, but it’s late, I’m tired, and I really wanted to post this tonight.

PS #2:That gif was a terrible idea. Looking at all those gifs was torture. Why am I doing this? BTW the source is weheartit.com.

Taglist: @perriewinklenerdie @tannisismybea @valiantlychaoticbarbarian @sappynurse @loudlewdlyricalmiracle @universallypizzataco @naturalplatinumbktn @ifyouseekheart @boujeechoices @baroness-alison @zeniamiii @hopelessromantic1352 @radlovedreamer @valiantlychaoticbarbarian @princess-geek @hatlley @fangirlingmum @usuallyamazinglyaverage @andromedasinclaire

#playchoices #open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #dr. ethan ramsey #dr ethan ramsey #fic: Scared to Be Lonely

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killmongerkink · 6 years ago

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Just A Friend

Summary: You meet up with your ex, trying to come to terms with your relationship.

Pairing: Adonis Creed X Black!Reader

Warning: angst

Length: 3.3k

BTW: so this is my first time writing something like this. i usually got for cute plots, but decided to make this one kinda sad (i guess? lol). hope you all enjoy & please give your honest feedback on your thoughts. sorry if there’s any typos.

MASTERLIST

You busied yourself by idly tapping your finger against your glass, the water condensation wetting the pads of your fingers and causing you to momentarily have something else to think about. It was currently 8:08 pm, you knew the exact time since your phone was right in front of you and wouldn't stop lighting up. Some were notifications from instagram and twitter, while others were from your boyfriend, questioning where you were. Adonis sat across from you, looking everywhere but at you, while you both waited for your drinks to arrive. You didn't know why you agreed to meet up with him. The both of you were well aware that a relationship wasn't something that could work, yet you guys couldn't stop wasting each others time.

There were multiple reasons why you both decided to call it quits a few months back. You were too busy with school and work, he was too busy training and going to boxing camps. Both of you were just in your own worlds, trying to make something of yourselves and dragging each other along for the ride wasn't smart if you had to be honest. With those being just a few reasons why, there was one main one.

You couldn't handle his lifestyle.

At the beginning, you thought you could be that girlfriend cheering from the sidelines. That girlfriend running up to him after a win and kissing him lovingly, busted lip and all, but after watching a few of his matches .. you just couldn't stomach it. The sight of seeing someone you cared about getting hit was just too much. You knew it came with the territory, he wasn't invincible and he would have to take punches just as good as he gave them, but fuck ... why did they have to be so brutal? And the nerve of him to ask you if he should incorporate MMA training into his routine. That was your final straw. You were tired of seeing him barely responsive after a fight, tired of seeing his face bloodied and bruised, and espiecially tired of the dreams you would have about him. Ones where he would end up in the hospital, barely hanging on. It took you a while to come to terms with the fact that you just weren't built to handle all of that, even though you wished you could. And that's why you both decided to move on, yet here you were.

Whenever he was free, he would send you a simple text asking if you were busy. Whether you were or not, you'd reply with your usual "no, why?", which would result in you both sitting in silence a few hours later. There was never anything to really talk about. Between social media and mutual friends, you knew what was going on in his life and he knew what was going on in yours.

He was spending his days in the gym, preparing for some fight that was taking place next Saturday. You made sure to keep that date open .. just because. It's not like you were hoping he would invite you or anything. When he wasn't in the gym, he was usually home. His snapchats consisted of him going on rants about pay per view fights he'd seen the night before or the latest album that dropped. Overall, he was doing good since the two of you went your separate ways. You were happy for him. Your life on the other hand wasn't all peaches and creme. College had started to take a toll on you, leading to late nights and early mornings, worrying if graduating was even worth all the mental and emotional stress that came with it. If you weren't dealing with school, you were at work. Your job as a lyft driver was cool, it brought in a good amount of money. The only downside were the nights you'd pick up drunks or a racist who thought you weren’t worthy enough to drive them. Then .. there was Shawn. You met him about a month and a half after your situation with Adonis ended. You weren't ready to jump into anything with anyone, but Shawn was nice, respectful and made you laugh. Besides his jealous streak, he wasn't a bad guy to have around.

You lifted your eyes from your glass and looked at Adonis. He still looked the same. Handsome as ever and in the best shape of his life. His biceps were larger than before, the veins in his arms bulging as his hands were folded. Resisting the urge to lick your lips, you shuffled in your seat and wiped your wet hands on your jeans.

"You okay?"

A part of you wanted to say no. You weren't okay. You weren't okay with your casual meet-ups. You weren't okay with sitting across from him and not being able to touch him. You weren't okay acting as if everything in your life was great. You were using some guy to get over the one sitting in front of you. You felt horrible about it.

"I'm fine."

He didn't believe you. You could tell by the way he dipped his head low to try and make eye contact with you. When both of your eyes met, neither one of you said anything. Just stared at each other, silently challenging to see who would be the one to look away first. Your little contest ended early when the waitress came by with your drinks. Beer for him, lemonade for you. After asking if you guys were ready to order, you both declined and you figured that would be her cue to walk away, except she took that as the opportunity to ask

"Are you sure?" to Adonis directly. If you didn't know any better, you would've thought you were invisible as she turned her body in his direction, a small smile showing from the corner of her lips.

"He's sure." You answered her as you eyed the back of her head. A chuckle rose in your throat as you watched her turn towards you, obviously unhappy with your intrusion on her flirting and she nodded her head, finally walking away. Your dinner partner across from you waited until she was out of earshot before laughing, his head bobbing back and forth from the force of his laughs.

"What's so funny?" You inquired, raising your eyebrow.

This was definitely an occurring problem whenever you went out with him. Girls and guys would both try to approach him, even though they could clearly see you with him. No, you guys weren't dating, but they didn't know that. The fact that people were so bold to hit on others that were clearly out with someone else made you want to hurl. What was wrong with people?

"Nothing, you just as snappy as you've always been. Just ... missed that. That's all." He mumbled before taking a big gulp of his drink.

Shaking your head, you tried not to let his comment get to you. So he missed you? No, he missed you being snappy. That's what he said. That didn't mean he missed you. If he missed you, he would've said that ... right? But he didn't. So did he only miss you going off on people? Why were you even overthinking this? Why did you care so much about deciphering the meanings of his words.

You ignored the voice in your head. The reasonable voice that would always say how much of a mistake you were making when you'd stand in front of your mirror to pick out something Adonis would like. The smart voice that would say the more you met up, the harder it would be to get over him. The voice that would tell you how much you'd regret giving him your time, knowing damn well that if he asked you to stay out later that you'd comply in a heartbeat.

"Yeah? Well ... cool."

"That's all you have to say?" He asked.

Choosing to ignore him, you swirled the straw in your drink. What was he expecting you to say? Maybe he could've still been experiencing your snappy remarks if he had taken your feelings into consideration in the past. There were many nights where you would talk to him about him boxing and if he would ever stop. You knew the ring was something that was close to his heart. It's what made him want to wake up in the morning. It's what motivated him to keep his head on straight and stay focused. While you loved that he had found his passion in life, you couldn't deal with the harm and stress he was putting on his body. It only took you two times watching him get knocked out to know that you weren't built for that life. It wasn't easy watching someone you cared about being put in harms way .. or harms fist if you wanted to be honest. The murderous looks he and his opponent would share before a fight made you uncomfortable. You knew all about his father and his unfortunate death, that being the main reason why you couldn't sit back and support his dreams up close. The thought of him leaving this world like his father brought tears to your eyes. What would you do if the same thing were to happen to him?

Adonis must've noticed the look on your face because he reached over to grab your hand. Coming back to reality, you jumped slightly and pulled back, tears brimming your eyes as you fought with the need to cry. You'd didn't want to do this here, not with him in front of you. You'd spent so many nights crying over this bullshit, why were you still getting yourself worked up over him? Because you love him.

"I don't.." you whispered to yourself.

"You don't what?"

"I don't know why I keep doing this with you. These .. dinners where we just sit here and act like everything is okay. It's not okay, alright? We broke up for a reason and there's no point of trying to have some friendship that we know is impossible. Lets just end everything right here, right now."

He sucked his teeth, his phone hitting the table loudly as he threw it down and sat back in the booth. A couple from a few tables away looked in your direction, your peripheral vision catching the look of confusion on their faces. You just wanted to go home, lay in bed and forget ever coming here.

"That's not what you want and you know it."

"You don't know what the fuck I want."

"Aight .. maybe not, but I damn sure know what you need and it's not that bum ass nigga you fucking with now. I know you. I know how you act when you're genuinely happy, and you ain't with him. All that forcing and shit you be doing online when y'all together, knowing damn well he ain't got it like me. He ain't man enough for you."

"And how do you figure that? Because he doesn't feel the need to act like he's some macho man? Because he's actually caring and sweet and doesn't push my opinions and feelings aside? Taking a few punches doesn't make someone a man, contrary to your beliefs."

You could see his tongue run across his teeth, pushing his lips out and letting you know just how annoyed he was getting. The nerve of him to act as if he had any real reason to be upset.

"You know ... fighting is all I ever wanted to do when I was a kid. It's the one thing I have in connection with my Pops. When I wrap my hands and put on those gloves, I can literally see him smiling in my head. Do you know how it feels to have strangers tell you about your own father? How it feels to have people who were lucky enough to have known him tell you about what a great man he was, what a great fighter he was? And when you try to do the same thing, they do nothing but tear you down and act as if you're a stupid fucking kid? My Pops died in the fucking ring, you know that .. everyone knows that. He also could've died walking down the street. He could've died at the hands of a gangbanger or a cop. Shit, they all the fucking same anyways. Point is .. I could die tomorrow doing something totally unrelated to the ring. If I wanna fucking fight until I have brain damage, Imma do that. I'm gonna do what makes me happy, just like my Pops did. And if I die the way he did ... then I died fighting and I ain't got a problem with that. I'm not asking you to accept everything that I fucking do, but damn baby .. atleast see things from my side one in a while."

Your blurry vision due to the tears were fighting at the edge, one blink threatening to break the dam and release the flood. Attempting to even speak was out of the question, your bottom lip trembling letting you know that it would've been a dumb decision. This was the first time that Adonis had ever taken the time to fully explain what boxing meant to him. You always thought that he was just trying to prove himself and be tough. That he was trying to make others believe that he was worthy of being the son of someone so great. Never did you know how he truly felt, how he was just a young man trying to fufill the same dreams his father once had. Looking back, you'd never known Adonis to do anything he didn't truly want to do. He could care less about how others viewed him, what they they thought and how they felt, which was a good or bad thing depending on which way the wind blew that day. A hot tear running down your face broke you from your thoughts, your handle fumbling quickly to wipe it before he could see, but of course nothing could get pass him. He had tears of his own that he was too proud to shed, his nose now red and flared.

Before you could make up some excuse for needing to leave, he was rising from his seat and pulling you in. Lips meeting awkwardly at first, his hold on the back of your neck calmed you down as you both fell into a dance. You hadn't been kissed like this since the last time you both were together and although you knew you should've been pushing him away, you couldn't stop yourself from squeezing your thighs together as your tongue stroked against his. The taste of beer engulfed your mouth, forcing you to shudder and remember the good times.

"You actually drink that stuff?"

You gave Adonis a curious look, watching as his index finger wrapped around the neck of his corona, his middle finger and thumb assisting it in gripping the bottle in a simple, yet sexy way. You would've thought he was ignoring you if it wasn't for the soft grunt he released after, bringing the bottle back to his lips.

"Can I have some?"

Confusion filled his face quickly. As much as you dragged him for drinking beer, the last thing he expected was you asking to take a sip. He curled up the corner of his lips, giving you a 'stop playin'' look and causing you to pout.

"Please? Just a little taste."

Unbeknownst to him, you didn't want it from the bottle. When he held it out for you, you shook your head quickly and leaned forward, eyeing his lips.

"Let me taste it another way."

You mumbled, leaning it to kiss what was yours.

The bell jingling above the entrance pulled you from your thoughts and you opened your eyes, catching a short glimpse of the new customer before your hands were meeting Adonis's chest and pushing him away. His back met the booth roughly, his lips still glistening as he gave you the evil eye out of anger, confusion and lust. You knew that look better than anyone.

You muttered a ‘sorry’, already knowing that in a few seconds your meet up would be coming to an end. Staring at him in the eyes, you wanted nothing more than to just hold him. You didn't realize just how much you missed him until you felt his embrace, why did things have to be this way? As you saw the tall figure approach your table in your peripheral, you gave Adonis a sad smile, your hands making quick work of drying what ever tears were left on your face. The questions, concerns and anger that would be directed to you if your face was seen wet and puffy were the last things you wanted to deal with. Seeing Shawn drained you of all your energy, you really didn't have it in you to deal with a fight tonight.

"Shit.."

"What?" Adonis scrunched his eyebrows together, leaning his head down to make eye contact with you.

He didn't have a chance to ask another question before Shawn was stepping in, looking between the both of you in confusion. You hadn't told him that you were meeting up with anyone, but you knew he had friends all over and someone probably spotted you with Adonis. Time seemed to have halted, the people around you moving in slow motion.

You saw Adonis turn his head, jaw clenched to the point where you worried for his teeth. He looked up, his facial expression going from annoyed to stoic, eyebrows raised slightly, one blink causing his eyes to go from glassy to dark. You expected for the exchange between the two men to come to blows. Adonis was sweet with a hidden temper, while Shawn was a hot head all around. To your surprise, Adonis simply nodded his head and looked back at you. His expression was unreadable, you couldn't tell if he was upset or just didn't care anymore. It was obvious that you had chosen a new man over him, you accepted Shawn and everything he came with, something you couldn't do with Adonis.

"Who's this?" Shawn asked bluntly, hands stuffed into his black hoodie.

You got up, a nervous chuckle leaving your lips as you grabbed his arm, shaking your head.

"Just a friend."

Heart dropping to your feet, you felt as if your insides were being ripped out as you snapped your neck towards Adonis. It's funny how in your head that’s how you tried to describe him, yet hearing those words from his actual mouth made you want to scream. He didn't sound upset, bothered, or angry. You couldn't read his expression or the tone of his voice, all you could do was stare at him with mixed emotions.

"You got a good girl though, keep her close. Hope y'all have a good life."

He rose from his seat, dropping a twenty dollar bill on the table and made his way to the door without a goodbye. Shawn began to speak, asking more questions that went in one ear and out the other, but you were still in shock. You let out a laugh, not because anything was funny, but because you were coming to the realization that whatever relationship that you had with Adonis up until this point was officially done. He had wished you his farewell and that was that, and as much as it saddened and pissed you off, you couldn't blame him. His figure vanished out into the night, leaving you in his rear view mirror and hiding his tears from you.

taglist: @lovelynervouschaos @chaneajoyyy @thehomierobbstark @iamrheaspeaks @bakarisangel @janelledarling @softnani @destinio1 @madamslayyy @marvelpotterlove @theunsweetenedtruth @james-heaven-barnes @erikaintdead @hearteyes-for-killmonger @killmongerthirst @ovoxosavage

(i honestly just tagged people that commented on my past stories since i didn’t really know who to tag lmao)

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yashalex · 5 years ago

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crash and burn, baby. crash and burn [Chaters 1 - 4] It’s not a problem when your best mate finds a new crush and forgets about you. It’s the problem when his crush takes an interest in you and you don’t really mind. Or: Lucas Lallemant, a new guy in the school, attracts Eliott's best mate attention... and not just his.

Chapter 1 There're new students in the school and while Eliott isn't interested at all, his best friend Emile is absolutely sure that he found the love of his life.

"I think I fell in love."

Eliott heard this phrase so many time that he paid no attention to his best mate’s words. Emile was one of those guys who used to fell in love every week until he met a new crush. Sometimes it wasn’t even week but days. And when Eliott heard Sofiane and Idriss’ laugh he knew that he wasn’t the only one who didn’t take it seriously. And Emile was offended.

"I’m serious!" He exclaimed, running his hand through the hair.

"Mate, we’re in the school," Sofiane stated the fact. "We know all the people in here. You couldn’t have fallen in love with one of them otherwise it would have happened years ago. Well, if it’s true love, of course."

Eliott smiled at that. He liked how Sofiane was always trying to be reasonable and logical what was the opposite of Emile’s nature.

"Aren’t you listening to me at all?" Emile sounded outraged. Eliott knew that tone. That was a bad news.

"I guess it’s about new kids?" Idriss said, and Eliott and Sofiane looked at him surprised. "What? Imane and her friends are giving them school tour today." After that Idriss returned to his food like he’s done everything he could. And Sofiane began to smile dreamily. It was Imane’s effect.

"Yeah! And I’ve been telling you about them yesterday!" Now Emile was gazing at Eliott. Shit. Now he definitely had a problem. And he even started to remember something. "There was some boiler accident in their school, and that was so serious that all the students were transferred to other schools. And ours was a part of the program. So we finally have some new faces here!"

Emile looked excited. Like really excited and Eliott didn’t really understand it, but he didn’t judge. Eliot himself didn’t really care about the news. He was never close to his old classmates, and a couple of new kids hardly could change it. One look at Sofiane and Idriss made him realize that they were on the same page with him. But none of them stopped Emile from happy blabbering.

"I saw the group of four guys earlier. They’re a year younger than us, and they were with your Imane by the way," these words were addressed to Idriss, but it was Sofiane’s eyes which lightened up once again by the mention of the name. Eliott chuckled. If only Idriss knew… "And as I’m very polite I decided to go and introduce myself. And that was the moment I saw him. Guys, seriously those eyes…"

"Ok, ok, mate, we’ve got it. It was the man of your dreams." Idriss didn’t let Emile finish because he knew that it’s easy for him to be carried away.

Emile was an open gay. He never hid it and he never tried. That why Eliott admired him so much. Having lived through some hell times, he never changed himself, and he tried to teach other people to do the same. Emile was still trying to make Eliott fully accept himself, though this mission was bound to fail. But that was nice of him, he always was a fighter. He always fought for his life, for his rights, and for his friends.

"And what is the boy’s name?" Eliott asked as he knew how important it was for him to have support. Sometimes Idriss was a little bit rude with him (he always regretted it later), and that was one of those times. Probably the guy had some problems with parents again, but it shouldn’t have had an effect on Emile.

"That’s the saddest part. I don't know." Emile sounded a bit upset, but surely it couldn’t have been a big problem for him. And Eliott was right in his thinking as the guy continued. "But his next lesson is Biology with Imane and Alexia, so I’m going to fix this." Ok. He was really prepared.

"We’re coming with you!" Sofiane said too fast and was smiling too wide. Eliott tried his best to hide his own smile. But Sofiane got it and added: "I mean we all want to meet him, right?"

He looked at Eliott, and Eliott nodded his head. He couldn’t believe that he will go to watch how two lovesicks (one with less serious diagnosis) will make idiots out of themselves. Well, at least it would be fun.

[Emile]

the guy from last night keeps asking for your number tell him to fuck off

you know that I can’t

then ignore him I don’t give a fuck you can write it to him if you want

you sure? he’s quite hot and he’s deffo interested

you can take him if you want

nah, I’m alright thanks have my blue-eyed angel to think about so it’s 100% no from you?

101%

you’re cruel

tell me something new

Eliott had one rule in his life and it was not to get attached to the people. And though he one hundred percent failed it when he found his friends, he was still trying to stick to it in personal life. Serious relationships were a big «No» for him. He tried once, everything went to shit, and he gave up. There was no point. And it wasn’t about him being cruel or heartless, it was about him being a good person actually. A good person who was saving people from himself. And Emile usually called it bullshit, but he will never understand. And Eliott was happy about it. No one deserved the shit his life was made of.

There were times when Eliott just wanted to skip lessons and go home. That was one of these days. After the «Literature» he sneaked out of the school and went to the bus stop. He was careful as never as he really hadn’t any desire for his friends to catch him. There’d be definitely questions after, but as long as it wasn’t right now he was alright. He just wanted to be in peace for a while. There was no reason behind it, he just felt like that, and he did that.

When he came to the bus stop there was already a guy sitting there. He looked a little bit younger than Eliott, and he was looking for something in his bag, holding a joint between his lips. Probably, it was someone from his school, but he couldn’t figure out who as he didn’t see the face. Anyway, the thought of him not being the only one who was skipping the school in the middle of the day made him smile, and he sat beside him.

"Mate, don’t you have a lighter? Can’t find mine." The boy said as soon as he noticed that he wasn’t alone anymore.

"I don’t smoke, sorry," Eliott answered not looking at the stranger. The fact was that he really wanted to smoke, but he couldn’t. That was a rule he had no right to break. Not anymore.

"That sucks." There was a pure disappointed in the boy’s voice. Eliott chucked. "Oh, I think I know you. Saw you in the school earlier. With Imane’s brother."

And these were the words which made Eliott turn his head to him. And when he finally saw a guy, the face in front of him took his breath away. He definitely saw some beautiful people before. Some people even considered him quite handsome, but that boy was in absolutely another league. His face was a masterpiece Eliott couldn’t stop looking at. And his blue eyes were the ocean in which Eliott was ready to drown in.

"Wow, you really look like a model. Girls were right." The stranger smiled. And that was really ironic thing to say as Eliott couldn’t stop wallowing in the guy's beauty. That’s why it took him a couple of minutes to realize what he said.

"Sorry?" He asked, trying to look away because he didn’t really want to look creepy. Though he probably has already failed.

"We were on the school tour with the girls, and they told us about everyone we saw on our way. You included. Emma called you a model and Alexia said that you’re one of the hottest guys in the school. I didn’t pay to it attention then but I can see it now." The boy said shamelessly, and Eliott couldn’t have believed his ears. Did he just call him hot? Or was it just his imagination?

"So you’re one of the new kids?" Eliott decided not to pay attention to the boy’s words in case he's got something wrong. The boy nodded his head, putting the joint in his pocket. "And you’re skipping already? I know for a fact that your classes are not finished yet." He knew it because nobody finished at this time.

"Let's call it a family emergency."

"But it doesn’t look like you’re rushing!"

"Well, I’m waiting for a bus, aren’t I?" The boy looked at him again. And Eliott could swear that he saw real sparks in his eyes. Oh, his eyes. They were driving him mad. "And what’s your excuse? Why are you here? «I know for a fact that your classes are not finished yet.»" The boy imitated Elliot’s voice and tone and that made Elliott laugh. Sincerely.

"I'm just not in the mood." He said and the boy smirked.

"Sound like a good reason."

"Yeah, it is."

And then there was a silence. But that wasn’t anything awkward or something like that. Not at all. They were just smiling looking at each other. And Eliott had no idea what was that, but he wished this moment would never stopped. He really could feel like the world was good to him again. And the reason was this boy.

But the moment didn’t last as Eliott’s phone began to vibrate. So he was the first to break off their eye contact to check what that was about. He hoped that the boy wasn't too disappointed with his actions. Because he regretted doing this as soon as he took away his gaze.

[Sofiane]

mate, where are you? we’re meeting Emile’s new love here you forgot?!

"Fuck!" Eliott’s whispered. He really forgot. That was quite a shitty situation.

"What’s happened?" The boy asked. Eliott could feel that his eyes were still on him.

"Just forgot about something. Not a big deal." That was a big deal actually. But he didn’t need to know.

[Sofiane]

fuck, I forgot sorry how is it going?

you can relax the boy wasn’t there we left Emile stayed with his friends and the girls

that’s shit but he’d get over it

btw, where are you?

That was the question Eliott chose to ignore. That wasn’t the time for worrying Sofiane.

And as soon as he closed one chat another began. And Eliott didn’t want to look at it as he really wanted to spend a little bit more time with the boy, but that was Emile. He couldn’t ignore.

[Emile]

a blue-eyed angel wasn’t there but Imane told me the name Lucas isn’t it beautiful?

«Blue-eyed», «wasn’t there», «Imane». His messages struck him as he began to realize something he didn’t even consider before. The boy with ocean-blue eyes was sitting now with him and he was supposed to be at his classes right now. Earlier he had a school tour which was led by Imane and the boy Emile liked was then with her. And Eliott didn’t really want to think about the possibility, because there were a lot of new boys in the school, but, still, the worry settled in his gut.

"Sorry, I didn’t ask your name." Eliott looked at the boy, hoping that it would be Axel or Isak or David or anything else but not THAT name.

"Oh, yeah, I’m Lucas." The boy said still smiling, and Eliott felt like the earth began to slip under his foot.

The world was against him once again.

Chapter 2 Eliott decides to forget about the blue-eyes boy, shame the blue-eyed boy isn't ready to forget about him.

two missed calls from Idriss

three missed calls from Sofiane

five missed calls from Emile

Eliott was in trouble. Or more precisely he was in real shit. And he didn’t even see messages in the chat yet. But he knew that he would pay for it later. There were no doubts about it. But at this moment he didn’t care. He wanted some peace, and he got it. It wasn’t his house where he found it. But this place was close to being called «home». It was «La Petite Ceinture». His safe place. His shelter. His everything.

Eliott always loved to be dramatic, so he loved the idea of having a secret place. A place where he can hide and think. A place nobody knew about. And when he found it, he finally felt safe again. And when it was really hard for him to move on with his life he always came here to find some comfort. And that’s why he came here after the bus stop. After the meeting with the blue-eyed stranger. After meeting with Lucas. One message from Emile was enough for him to let the boy go.

Emile was a real friend. A real friend who sacrificed a lot for him. And he never asked anything in return. And if there was a tiny possibility of Emile’s sufferings from Eliott’s actions, Eliott had no other choice but to stop it straight away. Yeah, he liked the boy. And he would have been happy to give it a try and spend a little bit more time with him. But not if it would risk him his friendship with Emile. And maybe for Eliott, it wouldn’t have ended up as something serious at the end because he closed himself from relationships, but for Emile… yeah, sometimes he was really inconstant, but he was always trying to find something serious. And Eliott had no right to ruin his searching. Even if it won’t work out for his friend and the boy at the end. He had to let it go.

"You’re doing this disappearance act again, and I’m moving out of this fucking flat!"

These were the first and the only words Emile said when Eliott came back home. Then he rushed to his room. A loud slam of the door followed after that. That was the main problem of living together with your best friend. He cared too much. It wasn’t the first time when he said those words. And it definitely won’t be the last time. But it didn’t make Eliott’s guilt any lesser. He felt like a real shit at those moments. He really didn’t deserve Emile.

They decided to move in together a year ago. When Eliott couldn’t live with his parents and their over-protective mood anymore. But he couldn’t have been trusted anymore. And Emile suggested living together and that seemed like a great idea. Well, it was a great idea, and they enjoyed each others company most of the times. But there were moments like this. When Eliott acted like an asshole and Emile had to put up with it. It was unfair to him, but there was nothing Eliott could do to make him leave. So once again he had to fix the situation as soon as possible.

In five minutes he opened Emile’s door and stretched his hand through the crack holding two bottle ob beers. He didn’t show his face.

"I came in peace." He declared, hoping to get a reaction of his friend.

"Are you trying to buy me?" He’s heard Emile’s voice and smiled. That was a good start.

"Maybe?"

"Are these both for me?"

"Maybe," Eliott repeated his words, keep smiling. He didn’t feel anger in Emile’s voice anymore. It was a good sign.

"Ok. You can come in." Emile finally said, and Eliott let out the breath.

Emile was lying on his bed with the phone in his hands. He didn’t look at Eliott, but he accepted the bottle out of his hands when he lay next to him. Eliott saw that Emile was scrolling down Instagram pages of unknown to him people. But that wasn’t his interest now.

"I’m sorry." He said sincerely.

"I know," Emile answered, still keeping his eyes on the phone. Eliott knew what that meant. He wasn’t angry, but he wanted to show that it wasn’t alright at all. And he was right. Guilt consumed him again. "You can’t do this anymore. When we knew that you were out of school, and when you didn’t pick up your phone, we were scared as shit. Sofiane even wanted to call Lucille and your parents!"

"But he didn’t do it, didn’t it?" That was panic in Elliott's voice. There was no way he would want for them to interfere in his life now. He loved them, but recently they were not helping at all.

"Of course I didn’t let him!" Emile knew too well how bad it could have ended. Once again, he was a good friend. Sofiane and Idriss were close to Eliott too, but they never truly understood him. And that was totally fine, as long as Emile was there to back him up.

"Thanks."

"But you can't blame him for this. We all were worried that something had happened."

"Yeah. I get. And as I said I’m sorry. And I will call the guys later and tell them the same." He promised.

"Oh, you better do it!"

Emile finally looked at Eliott and made the first sip out of the bottle. Now that was it. The problem was solved. For now.

"But don’t you think that I’ll forget that you dumped me when I was going to introduce you to new guys today."

That has been said in a funny tone as if it was a joke. But Eliott didn’t want to laugh at all. He knew that now the conversation was leading to the boy. And no way he was ready to go there now. He needed some time but Emile didn’t give it to him.

"That’s so disappointing that a blue-eyed angel wasn’t there, but at least now I know his friends and his name. By the way, I’m looking through their pages right now." Emile showed Eliott a screen of his phone, and Eliott showed a little bit of interest before looking away just not to look too weird. He didn’t want to see it.

"I don’t want to kill the mood, but what if the boy is straight?" Eliott asked. And that was the question of which was on his mind a lot. If the boy was straight, then it would have solved a lot of problems. Both Emile and Eliott would have no chances, they both would have suffered from it a little and then moved on. That would be the perfect scenario for both of them.

"Then my heart would be crushed in pieces," Emile answered. Eliott smiled as his friend clearly exaggerated. How could he say it and be serious? He didn’t even know him.

"So are you going to ask him or what?" Eliott didn’t want to look like he was too invested in his friend’s new crush and their relationships because it could look suspicious. He never paid attention to Emile’s love life before. Well, there was one time, but the situation was really extreme back then. But now it was usual Emile’s crush, and Eliott shouldn’t have been interested in it. But he was interested. He just couldn’t help it.

"I’m thinking on my strategy yet, but I have a good feeling about it, you know? Let’s just keep our finger crossed, yeah?"

Emile smiled at Eliott and Eliott smiled back while there was a mini-Eliott inside him who wanted to scream.

Eliott had a tendency to draw some moments of his life which were making him smile. Two bottles of beer became such a moment. It wasn’t the first time he used such trick to get Emile’s forgiveness, but it was the first time he decided to capture it. So he drew two bottles with smiley faces leaning on each other. That took him 10 minutes to finish the sketch and upload it on Instagram. It was a habit. He didn’t post there anything but his sketches and drawings. He wasn’t a social media guy, but there was something special in sharing his works with the world. And actually quite a lot of people were following him, and he had no idea why, especially when he followed no one. Not even his friends. But when his pictures were getting some reaction he was always feeling a pleasure. As if the things he did had a point. He liked that feeling.

«There is no problem which couple bottles of beer couldn’t solve ;)»

He wrote a caption to the picture and completely forgot about this post by the evening.

He and Emile had dinner in front of the telly. Then Eliott called Idriss and Sofiane to apologize and listen to the lecture from both sides just to be forgiven at the end. And then he was just studying as he missed his last classes, and he knew that the teachers won't let him off the hook easily. He wanted to be ready. And by the end of the day, he was so exhausted, that he wanted just to go to bed. But that wasn’t meant to happen as he saw a notification under his last post which made his heart skip a beat.

lucallemant left a comment under your photo

«these are some wise words, man»

Logically Eliott knew that could be literally anyone. There were thousands of Lucases in this world and this one could be anyone. He had no reason to lose his shit over this. And just to prove he was right he decided to check the stranger page to calm himself down. On the main picture there was a photo of the boy with the ball which gave him absolutely no information about the person. But that wasn’t the only problem. He couldn't check his other photos as the page was private. And there was no way Eliott would have followed him, especially in the case he was wrong and that was that Lucas. And at the end he didn’t need to do anything to know the truth, as he saw:

followed by emile.elime

Emile was following the boy. And Eliott didn’t want to think about bad stuff, but the possibilities of the guy not being that Lucas were becoming lesser and lesser. And the fact that the boy found him and left his mark… well, it wasn’t good at all. And it would be wise of Elliott to delete the comment before Emile noticed it. But he couldn’t make himself do it. He just closed the app and went to bed hoping that the next morning the comment would disappear itself.

The bad news was that this comment didn’t disappear. The good news was that Emile didn’t see it. Eliott had no idea how it could have happened because Emile was the guy who notices everything. Especially on Instagram. But in the morning he didn’t say a word and that meant only one thing: he didn’t know. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have given Eliott a break with his questions.

At school, Elliott was trying to forget about the whole thing and that was easier to say than done. Emile couldn’t stop looking for a boy. Being in the company of Eliott, Idriss and Sofiane his eyes were still wondering somewhere else. He was observing the whole school, and the guys were laughing at it without him even noticing. Eliott had to pretend that it seemed funny to him too. But in fact, he was dreading it. He was dreading to see the boy and lose himself in his eyes again.

But the boy didn’t appear before their eyes, and they all went to their classes and everything was calm. Before Sofiane decided to speak with him.

"Why is it Emile’s Lucas commenting your photos?" Sofiane asked and it would be an understatement to say that Eliott was surprised. He expected it from anyone but not from Sofiane. The guy was usually too busy with his life to notice such things. At least Eliott thought so.

"You know that I have no idea what you’re talking about?" Eliott asked, trying to sound neutral.

"The boy Emile has a crush on commented your photo yesterday, you didn’t see?" Eliott shook his head. Liar. «That’s strange, don’t you think?»

"Not at all." Eliott had to make him believe that it was an absolutely normal thing. And that was probably an absolutely normal thing. "Emile followed him on Instagram, and the boy probably decided to know his friends. It’s a good sign, right?"

"Well, he didn’t leave a comment to me or Idriss or Emile!"

When did Sofiane become so attentive to Instagram shit?

"It’s not my fault that my posts are cooler than yours." Eliott joked and Sofiane bumped him in the shoulder.

They laughed together, and that topic was closed for now. And Eliott hoped that all Sofiane’s suspicions went away. He didn’t need these troubles right now.

Eliott was the first who came at their table in the cafeteria. He had no idea where his band was, but he didn’t really mind sitting a little bit alone for a while. Without Idriss being moody again. Without Sofiane looking for Imane in the crowd. And without Emile looking for the boy around. He put his tray on the table and sat down. And as soon as it happened, somebody else took a seat in front of him. Eliott expected to see one of his friends, but he defiantly didn’t expect to see him.

"Hi!" The boy smiled. And, oh God, he had a beautiful smile.

"Hi," Eliott mumbled. The alarm was ringing in his head. «Did you want something?» Eliott took a sandwich in his hand trying to show that he had no interest in the conversation. What a lie!

"Yeah. I came to say that I’m deeply offended." The boy announced and Eliott looked at him confused. «At first you leave me at the bus station not even saying your name and then you pay no attention to my comment on your Instagram. That’s very rude of you.»

And that’s all was said in such a serious and childish tone that Eliott couldn’t hold his laugh. And judging by the satisfied smile on the boy’s face it was exactly what he was trying to achieve.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, sorry." Eliott smiled at him, having bitten his sandwich. The boy's eyes were following him. «Did you want anything else?»

"Nah, I’m just sitting here until my friends come." The boy said, looking around. "I’ve skipped a couple of lessons, and they already found some new friends."

"That sucks."

"I thought so too, but looking at my position now… " The boy leaned over the table and whispered. "I don’t really mind."

The boy winked at Eliott and Eliott's nearly choked with his sandwich. How could this angel-like boy so shamelessly flirt with him in the middle of the school? And how could Eliott enjoy it? How could he let himself enjoy it? He literally couldn’t stop smiling at the boy and take away his eyes of him. They were holding each other’s gaze and nobody was ready to finish this game. This stupid game in which their eyes were playing and which what the opposite of what Eliott was planning. He wanted to let the boy go, and definitely not to get attracted to him even more. And he failed. He failed and at that moment he had no regrets. There were no regrets at all until he heard the voice behind his back:

"Eliott, sorry, we held up. Do you remember those new guys we were talking about, right? We’ve just met them and…" Emile stopped the second he saw who was at the table with Eliott. "Hi." He whispered to the boy and smiled. And the way he looked at him made Eliott's heart squeeze. Because that wasn’t a look of «I have a crush» Emile. But that was the look of «I fall really, really hard» Emile. Eliott knew that Emile too well.

"Hi, I’m Lucas!" The boy introduced himself. And that was it. There was still a tiny hope in Eliott’s heart that it wasn’t that Lucas. That it was just a confusion. But as soon as Emile and the boy's hands touched in the handshake all the hopes have vanished. That was a lost battle now.

"I didn’t know you and Eliott knew each other!" Sofiane, who was standing right behind Emile, looked at Eliott. Fuck! He knew that something was off.

"Yeah!" Emile nodded his head. "How do you know each other?"

He looked straight at Eliott, expecting an answer, and Eliott knew that he had only one chance not to fuck it up. He needed to tell the truth.

Chapter 3 Sofiane's suspicious, Lucas's offended and maybe ELiott is a little bit lost.

“We met at the bus station yesterday,” Eliott wanted to tell the truth, and that was it. The truth.

“You didn’t mention anything,” Emile noted while they were settling in around the table.

Eliott knew that at least two pairs of eyes were looking at him now: Lucas and Sofiane’s. Shit.

“I forgot, didn’t I?” He shrugged his shoulders, trying to avoid Lucas’ gaze. Part of him hoped that the boy wasn’t offended by it. Another part of him was fuming that he really cared about it.

“That’s a real crime, isn’t it?” Emile said, but his words were meant only for Lucas.

The boy captured all of Emile’s attention. Eliott was sure if the bombing had started outside right at this moment, his friend wouldn’t have even noticed. And that thought was killing him. He seriously hoped that it was a simple crush, nothing too serious as usual, but by the look on Emile’s face, it was obviously not the case. If they had been in some cartoon right now, he would have had heart-eyes on his face.

“How are you finding our school?” Emile asked Lucas while Sofiane was eating Eliott with his eyes. Idriss was the only one who acted absolutely normal, eating his lunch. Eliott was staring at his sandwich. He knew that one glance in the wrong direction would be the end of his.

“Well, at first it seemed really strange to be here. But with every second I enjoy it more and more.”

Eliott didn’t see Lucas’ face, but he was sure that the boy glanced at him the second he said those words. What a fucker!

“That’s great to hear!” Emile exclaimed.

Luckily, being in love for him meant the same as living in the fool’s paradise. He was becoming blind to the most evident things. And that was the first time when Eliott was really grateful for it. Shame he couldn’t say the same about Sofiane. He could feel future problems with him with his bones.

“So are you going to tell me where did you bury bodies of my friends or I need to call the police? Cause you were the one with whom I saw them last time.” Lucas said playfully and Emile laughed. And he wasn’t the only one as Idriss smirked too. Sofiane was still too busy with glaring at Eliott. Shit!

But there was something that let a tiny smile appear on Eliott’s face for a split-second. Lucas’ friends didn’t dump him for his new friends, but he dumped them. He saw Eliott’s gang with his friends, and he decided not to join them but come here and sit with Eliott. And Eliott was 99% percent sure that it was his imagination playing with him, but, still, the idea was warming him inside. And that sucked.

“Don’t worry, they’re going to be here soon,” Emile said. And Eliott wasn’t sure if his eyes even left Lucas’ face during all this time.

“Yeah, the girls caught them, and your guys probably have some problems to run away from them now,» Idriss added, and Emile nodded his head in agreement.

“Was Daphne there?” Lucas asked. Idriss nodded while chewing his sandwich. “Then it’s probably girls can't run away from my boys and not another way around. Bazile lost his head over Daphne, and now she is the only thing he can talk about.»

Lucas tried to sound irritated, but his voice was really soft while he was talking about his friend. Eliott liked that.

“I better go and save them.”

Lucas stood up, grabbing his bag. Emile clearly wasn’t happy about it.

“You can always sit and eat with us,” he suggested, but Lucas shook his head. Thankfully.

“Maybe another time.” The boy winked to them and left. Finally, Eliott could breathe again.

“He’s so cool, right?” Emile was looking at his friends. He definitely expected them to support him in his thinking.

“He’s alright,” Idriss commented, but the tone of his voice didn’t show any interest in the boy at all.

Suddenly the phone vibrated in Eliott’s pocket, and he totally missed what Sofiane had to say about the new guy while pulling it out. When he saw a notification, his hands began to shake. And he didn’t want to think about the reason behind it.

lucallemant sent you a message

Never in his life had Eliott wanted to open and no to open the message at the same time. Still, Lucas’s gone just a few seconds ago, and Eliott was dying to know what he could have possibly sent to him. But the fact that Emile was sitting right next to him didn’t make anything easier. And his best friend was clearly under «Lucas’ effect». However, so as Eliott, so after a couple of moments of staring at the screen, he finally opened his message.

lucallemant forgot about me? seriously??!!! now i’m even more offended

It was a miracle how Eliott managed not to burst into laughter after reading this. That was really funny and even cute in a way. And he couldn’t stop smiling at his phone. He just couldn’t control his face. And he knew that it was stupid of him, and it wasn’t the place for this shit, but he hoped that nobody would notice it. How naïve.

It didn’t take long for Sofiane to catch Eliott after the lessons and took him «to talk». Eliott wasn’t stupid, and he knew that it was coming, especially after all the glares of the guy in the cafeteria. His friend surely suspected that something was off, and he wasn’t the person who was ready to let go of something easily. It was now Eliott’s task to persuade him that he saw things, which weren’t real. And that was a hell task to do.

“You can start talking,” Sofiane said while they were walking down the street.

Idriss and Emile were still in the school as they had one more lesson. And now Eliott really wished they were with them just to stop Sofiane from sniffing around.

“Can you at least explain what I have done wrong now?” Eliott said playfully, knowing pretty well that no way Sofiane would buy this.

“Eliott, can you not disrespect me like this, please?!” Sofiane said, being unimpressed.

“Ok, just ask what you want to know, and I’ll answer if I’ll have the answers you need,” Eliott gave up immediately. He didn’t want to fall out with Sofiane. Not because of something that wasn’t even a thing. And that was the point Eliott had intentions to prove.

“Why did you lie about not knowing the boy when I asked you about his comment?” Sofiane went straight to the questions. Actually, it was a pretty easy one.

“I didn’t know it was him. And as I’ve said, I totally forgot about this bus-station meeting.” That lie was easy to say. And that was a lie. Because this «bus-station meeting» was everything he could think about that day.

Sofiane was looking at him with suspicion. He didn't believe him or didn’t believe him fully. He clearly had his doubts, but he changed the course of his «interrogation». And his next question wasn’t so easy to answer.

“Why are you both were acting so strange when we came?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” That was the truth. Eliott tried to act as casual as possible, and he’s done nothing but stared at the tray on the table. And apparently, that was the wrong thing to do.

“Then why did you avoid looking at us and especially at Lucas and Emile while the boy was fucking you with his eyes right under our noses?”

Sofiane stood in front of Eliott, expecting to hear a good, reasonable explanation. But Eliott wasn’t rushing with his answer as his mate’s words gave him something to think about. Was Lucas’ staring really so obvious and bad? Eliott knew that the boy was looking at him from time to time, but «fucking him with his eyes»? No. Sofiane clearly overreacted.

“I didn’t notice such a thing,” Eliott said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Of course, you were too busy with your tray!” Sofiane exclaimed, and Eliott chuckled.

“Look, mate, till the moment the boy crashed at the table I even didn’t know his name!” Liar. “I have no idea why he left me that comment, and I don’t know what you saw at the table, but you clearly misread the situation. I don’t know the boy, and it looks like he’s just trying to be friendly with everyone. And I wasn’t in the mood for this bullshit, so that’s why I didn’t pay to him any attention at the lunch!” Eliott put all his soul into these words just to sound sincere and for Sofiane to believe him.

“Why? What happened? Was it connected with your disappearance yesterday?” Now Sofiane was worried about him. Great!

Eliott began to feel like he was doing everything only worse. Maybe, he really should have told the truth, called the boy some crazy stalker and maybe it would have taken Emile’s interest off him. But somehow Eliott couldn’t do such a thing to the boy. So the lie kept coming.

“No. I just studied till late and didn’t get much sleep,” he reassured his friend and put his hands on Sofiane’s shoulders. “My point is that there is nothing going between me and the boy. I swear. ”

“OK. I believe you,” Sofiane finally said, and it felt like he was serious. Eliott smiled at him while his conscience was eating him up inside. He hated lying to his friends. However, he had good intentions. “I just see how Emile looks at this boy, and it looks serious. And if there is something between you and Lucas, then you better tell the truth now. You and Emile are both my friends, and I love you, so I don’t want one of you to suffer at the end. And today I felt the vibe that it’s pretty much possible.”

Sofiane was always a very perceptive person. He knew when someone was feeling bad or hiding something. He noticed things which others didn’t. He asked questions which others were afraid to ask. And he was always there for you when you needed even if you didn’t ask him. And that was the moment when Eliott saw all of it in him and even thought about him being right. Maybe he should have told everything straight away. To him. To Idriss. To Emile. And not just about his meeting with Lucas, but also about the feelings which the boy made him feel. And maybe it would have saved him from a real misery in the future, but there was one problem: he saw the way Emile was looking at Lucas too. There was no going back now.

“If Lucas is into guys then Emile can take him, I don’t care. No man can stand between the best buddies, right?” Eliott was smiling at Sofiane until he started to smile back.

Eliott clapped him on the back, and they continued to walk not mentioning Lucas anymore. And Eliott hated himself for talking about the boy like he was some object which they could pass to each other, but he had to do it that way. Sofiane had to hear it like this. He knew that there was no way Eliott would have said something like that about the person he really cared about.

Eliott and Sofiane were chilling on their sofa, eating pasta and watching some crappy TV show. They were talking about school and the stuff they had to do but were too lazy for it. And that was a typical evening for them. They both were checking their phones times from time… well, Emile actually didn’t take his eyes off his, but Eliott wasn’t so addicted to that thing. Thank God. But one notification was enough for him to lose his shit over it.

lucallemant sent you a message

And for some reason, he didn’t hesitate this time and read it straight away.

lucallemant

still offended …

Once again that made Eliott smile, but not for long, as Emile was sitting in a couple of inches from him. And probably it was Lucas’ page he was obsessively looking through even if he already saw it a thousand times.

Looking at Lucas’ messages, Eliott began to think what under other circumstances he should have done. He should have clicked «follow» and that would have been the next move Lucas was clearly waiting from him. And in this reality, he was almost ready to do it, as they officially knew each other now. Emile and Sofiane have already followed him, and that wouldn’t have been weird if Eliott would’ve started to follow him too. But that could have given the boy the wrong idea, and Eliott didn’t want to do it. And he also didn’t want to get too close to the boy. He knew almost nothing about him, and his page could give him something, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to get even more attached to him. He couldn’t let it happen.

“This is so interesting. He’s so open and so closed at the same time,” Emile said thoughtfully, having attracted Eliott’s attention.

“Who?”

“Lucas!” Emile answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “His page is full of photos of him and his friends, but still it says nothing about him as a person!”

That was ironic how just a couple seconds ago Eliott was thinking about not wanting to know anything from Lucas’ page, but Emile decided to give him something to cling to anyway. As if the universe was laughing at him. But Emile’s started it, and now Eliott was too intrigued to let it go.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Well, if you look at your page you’ll see that you like drawing, your stupid dubstep music and that you have the “Polaris” project in which you put all your soul. Sofiane’s page is all about dances, charities and child-football. Mine is a fan-page of every hot dude on this planet and Agatha Christie. Idriss posts nothing because he doesn’t care about the shit. Lucas’ friend Bazile is a guy who loves stupid memes, jokes and girls. And looking at Lucas’ page, it’s all just him and his friend doing stupid things with dumbasses faces!”

“Maybe he’s just a dumbass?” Eliott suggested, wishing it would be the truth. If it were like that, it would have been so much easier for him and Emile to forget about his existence.

“Nah, you saw him. It’s obvious that he’s much more than that.”

Unfortunately, Eliott couldn’t but agree. And that was a funny thing. He and Emile didn’t know the boy at all, but they both felt his energy which was screaming about him being unique in some way.

“Well, not everybody loves to show the whole world his life. It’s a normal thing.”

“Yeah, I know. I just want to know something about him. If I even have a chance for starters. But I have no idea where to start.” Emile sounded desperate, and that didn’t look like him at all. Usually, he always knew how to make the first move and what to do next. But now he looked lost. He was afraid to fuck all up. That was too important.

“Just write to him,” Eliott suggested, thinking about their own chat which Lucas’s created earlier.

“Won’t it be too weird? Just to write to him out of nowhere?” Clearly, Emile wasn’t sure that it was a good idea.

“Well, just ask him if he managed to save Daphne or some shit like that. If he will answer, that’s great. If he won’t… well, his loss!”

Eliott clapped him on the shoulder and went to wash their dishes. He saw that Emile was thinking about his words for several moments, and then he started typing. A few minutes have passed when Eliott’s heard a happy squeal from him. There were no questions needed. It seemed like he’s got his answer. And despite the fact that Eliott was partly the one who helped it to happen, he still didn’t feel like sitting and witnessing the scene. He finished washing the dishes and went to his room. Emile was too busy to notice his absence anyway.

That night he went to sleep early. And right before it, he checked his phone one last time. There was one new message.

lucallemant

:((

Eliott’s heart sank, and he closed the chat immediately. He didn’t want to think about why the boy just couldn’t leave him alone. But Eliott was going to help him with it. If Eliott would ignore him then the boy would give up. Probably he’s already done that. And that was quite a painful thing for Eliott to think about. But that was the only way. He was doing the right thing. At least he wanted to believe it.

Chapter 4 Eliott's invited to the party and his tongue gets him in the troubles.

The day was calm. Actually, it was Friday, so everybody was just patiently waiting for it to pass to finally enjoy weekends. Idriss decided to give himself one extra day off, so he skipped school, having said that he didn’t feel well. Of course, it was a lie, and nobody knew where the guy really was. Because he definitely wasn’t at home. Imane said that. However, it didn’t really bother his friends that he lied. If he needed time, they were ready to give it to him.

“Do we have plans on these weekends?” Sofiane asked while they were chilling on the bench outside the school. That was a sunny day so most of the students were crawling back from the building just to enjoy a little bit of sun on their break.

“No, as far as I know,” Eliott said, having closed his eyes. He was facing the sun. Its tender rays were having a relaxing effect on him.

“Emile?” Sofiane turned to another friend.

“What?” Emile asked because he clearly didn’t hear the question.

The fact was that Emile wasn’t with Eliott and Sofiane that day. He was with his phone. More precisely, he was with Lucas. Since Eliott left him yesterday evening, he didn’t see his mate let his eyes off the thing. And that was irritating. For more than one reason. But he was smiling a lot, and that was enough for Eliott to put up with this. Though he desperately wanted to know what was so interesting in their conversation that couldn’t let Emile go. But Eliott didn’t ask. He wasn’t sure that he was ready to know the answer.

“I’m starting to get jealous here!” Sofiane resented, but the smile was giving him away. Eliott opened his eyes just to see it, and that made him smile. Emile rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything back. Emile’s phone vibrated again, and he turned his attention to it. “See? We’ve lost him!”

“Hi!” Eliott had no time to answer, as he heard a grating girl’s voice.

“Hi, Daphne!” Sofiane answered.

Daphne and Imane were standing in front of them, and it wasn’t the blond Sofiane was looking at. Of course. Once again Imane became the center of his universe. And it was clearly a mutual thing. How nobody noticed how these two were looking at each other yet was beyond Eliott. He’s been waiting for an invitation to their wedding since they met the first time. And they were just kids then!

“We came to invite you to our party tonight at Emma’s,” Daphne said excitedly.

“Tonight?” Eliott asked confused. Was she serious? “Who’s inviting people to the party on the day of the party?”

“Well…” The smile vanished of Daphne's face. She clearly didn’t have an answer.

“Every time we invite you, you turn us down, so what’s the difference? You just say “no”, and we’ll leave you alone,” Imane said, and that was a good point. They really were rare guests at the girls’ parties. It wasn’t that they didn’t like being there, but it didn’t feel right. Imane was always trying to look after Idriss for him not to get too drunk. Sofiane was running after her just in case she needed help. Emile was «too cool and old» to make out with his classmates and always ran away to the local gay bars. And Eliott was simply bored. So in the end, it wasn’t a pleasure for anyone, so they skipped what the girls were offering them quite a lot. Still, Daphne was always trying to get them in, Eliott gave her credit for that.

“And before you say “no” just hear us out!” The Daphne asked, and that was the least they could do. “This party is devoted to all the new students in our school. We want them to feel like home, and we want to welcome them properly. So it would be great to gather as many students as possible!»

“Well, that sounds nice, but…” Eliott began, but Emile woke up in time to stop him.

“That means all the new guys will be there?” He asked, and Daphne began to nod her head like a crazy energized bunny. That was scary as fuck. “We will be there!” Emile announced.

Daphne squealed with excitement and began to jump, clapping her hands. Imane smiled too, but Eliott knew that it wasn’t about them coming. It was about Sofiane coming.

“Great! That will be great!”

These were the last Daphne’s words before the girls went away. Eliott and Sofiane were looking at Emile with the question in their eyes.

“What?” He said. “There’s no better place to know the people than a party. So I think that’s a great idea.”

Of course, he wasn't fooling anyone. The only reason he dragged them in this was Lucas. He wanted to reach the boy, and he was clinging to every chance. Eliott could understand it, but it didn’t make him less frustrated. It was a real challenge to watch them texting to each other, but to watch them interact at the party where will be a lot of alcohol and no shame? That would be torture. He really needed to find a way to avoid this execution. And when he started to think about all the possibilities, the phone vibrated in his pocket.

lucallemant I guess i see you at the party then? ;)

This message made Eliott look around immediately to find what he was looking for. Lucas and his friends, Eliott still didn’t know them, were standing right in front of the entrance of the school. Lucas was lazily leaning on the wall, turning his phone in his hand, while his mates were actively discussing something. And suddenly Eliott wasn’t sure if he really wanted to miss this party.

“Are you alright?” Emile asked Eliott when he noticed that his friend was too quiet.

Eliott was sitting on Emile’s bed while his friend was running around in a panic, trying to find what to wear. Everything he chose he showed to Eliott and every time Eliott nodded his head as his approval his friend decided that it wasn’t that. So Eliott was nothing more than an accessory at this moment, and he didn’t mind. It was nice to see Emile so excited.

But there was something that was bothering him, and he knew that Emile would be the only one to understand.

“My mum and dad want to meet me tomorrow. They say they have some news,” Eliott shared with a friend with what he’s heard only an hour ago on the phone. Emile stopped with his fussing and sat on the bed facing Eliott. He looked concerned.

“And what did you say?”

“I said that I’ll let them know later.” Eliott sounded guilty. He knew he did because he was feeling it.

After everything his parents did for him, he was really shitty with them. And him not wanting to go to see them was a real example of it. He didn’t deserve them.

“Don’t feel bad just because you feel what you feel,” Emile said the same thing he was always telling him when they were talking about Eliott’s parents. He knew what emotions this topic was arising in him. “If you don’t want to go, tell them. They’ll understand. If you want to go, but if it’s still hard, I can go with you, it isn't a problem. But you don’t have to do anything that doesn’t sit right with you, OK?” As always, his tone was caring and reassuring. Emile always knew what buttons were needed to push.

“Yeah, I know.” Eliott smiled. “But this time I think I need to go. Alone. I owe them that. And I think it’d be right.”

“Only if you’re sure.” Emile reached Eliott’s hand and squeezed it. “But if you change your mind, you know where I am. Don’t you ever forget that you are not alone.”

Emile smiled at him once again and then returned to his wardrobe. Eliott looked at his phone.

[Mother]

write me a place and the time and I’ll be there

He pushed «send» and put away the phone. And as Eliott couldn't have thought any good reason to save himself from his future suffering, he and Emile still had a party to go to.

When they arrived the place was already filled with loud music, smoke, and drunk students. Emile had a habit to come to the parties later because it was when all fun was starting. So the fact that half of the people were already lost to this world didn’t surprise Eliott at all. He knew that Sofiane and Idriss have been already here, as they came together with Imane. Eliott and Emile were trying to break through sweat drunk bodies with Eliott trying to avoid all the unnecessary tactile contact with them. And it was a challenge to go past them without somebody pouring the content of his cups on them or something worse. Actually, there was already a pretty awful smell in the flat, but everybody was too out of their minds to notice it.

“Awww! You came!” A blonde fury rushed on them with a big hug. That was some awkward shit, but Emile and Eliott just accepted it, smiling.

“Sorry, we’re late,” Emile said to Daphne, giving her one of his charming smiles. Despite him being gay and everybody knowing about it, he still had an effect on the girls, and he knew how to use it. “So are all the new students here?”

“Yeah, we’ve read them a welcome speech and half of them probably have already fallen asleep somewhere.” Manon appeared next to Manon with the cup in her hand. With the cup of something non-alcoholic. Every time she drank, she was getting into troubles, so she decided to quit it. And when Eliott and his friends came to the girls' party after all, she was his non-drinking buddy. Actually, he liked her and enjoyed her company. Sometimes they even had a «non-drinking quartet» with Imane and Sofiane when they were kind enough to join them.

“And Sofiane and Idriss? Did you see them?” Eliott was trying to find his friends in the crowd. Emile was looking into it too, but Eliott was sure that it wasn’t his mates he was looking for.

“Oh. You better see it yourself!” Manon smiled at them mysteriously and led them to another room.

All the people gathered in the big circle there, focusing all the attention to the center, clapping their hands and cheering. It took the company some effort to squeeze through all the bodies to know what that was about. And when Eliott saw the action a huge grin lightened his face.

“Are these two having a dance battle?” He shouted to Manon, and she just pointed to them, what meant “and what do you think?”.

At the center, Sofiane and Imane were standing facing each other and giving one of their best moves at a time. And that was fascinating. They were rivals, but they acted like a duet. They wanted to defeat the other, but they obviously didn’t want it to stop. The way their bodies moved, the way they looked at each other, the way they smiled, that all was screaming about some great story between them, which just couldn’t get started.

“Fucking soulmates!” Eliott commented, and Manon smiled at him because she knew.

Somehow, in the crowd, he lost Emile, and in an attempt to find him, he bumped into some boy, who poured his beer on Eliott’s shirt.

“Fuck!” Eliott roared, but the boy didn’t even notice it.

Thankfully, Eliott has already been in Emma’s house, so he knew where to start looking for a bathroom. Probably it had no sense to go there because some loved up couple has already probably occupied it. But he couldn’t go around, smelling like a beer barrel, so he had to try. When he opened the door, he got an impression that it was empty there and he rushed to the sink. However, he really should have looked around.

“And here I thought that you’ve been avoiding me.” Lucas’ voice made Eliott jump. Lucas’ drunk voice.

The boy was sitting in the bath with a bottle of beer in one hand and a joint in another. He was wearing black jeans and a dark-blue skirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His hair looked really wild, and Eliott thought that they were messy before, but that was something else. They were pointing in different directions, and a couple of locks were cascading over his face. And that was one of the hottest things Eliott ever saw. And that was scary what influence the boy’s look had on some of his organs.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Eliott turned to the sink and turned the water, trying to wash the smell of the beer of his hands and not to think about blue eyes, which were looking at him now.

“I’m waiting for my friends. They left to bring more booze, but I won’t be surprised if they have forgotten about me already. So do you want to join me?” Lucas extended his hand with a beer, and Eliott had no other choice but to look at him. Actually, he has had a choice, but who cared, right?

“Thanks, but I’m not drinking.” Eliott smiled at the way the boy’s face changed. He looked like he was trying to figure something out, but he couldn’t.

“You’re not smoking and you’re not drinking. Are you trying to be a perfect future son in law for your future girlfriend’s parents?” Lucas assumed, examining Eliott with his eyes. It made Eliott chuckle.

“Maybe,” he said with a smile. “Not necessary girlfriend’s though.” And that really slipped off his tongue, and that was too late when he understood what he’s done. He realized it only when he saw the way boys’ eyes brightened up, and he licked his lips. Fucking hell, Eliott really wasn’t handling it well. And it was definitely getting too hot in the room.

And luckily for Eliott, he was saved before he said something he could regret later as the door opened, and three boys rushed into the room, screaming and shouting something. Eliott caught a glimpse of disappointment on Lucas’s face before it was replaced with a wide smile. And here was the moment when Eliott decided that he needed to go. Well, he ran away from there actually.

The party was gaining momentum as the people were getting drunker and craziness around has become more surreal. There were couples making out at every corner of the flat. And it wasn’t possible to hide from the view of tongues and naked bodies anymore. Eliott felt like he was ready to go home any time soon, but still, he was staying, chatting with Sofiane and Manon. And part of him knew what didn’t let him go so easily. The boy who was passing him by with his mates a couple of times and glancing at him secretly. But those glances were enough for Eliott to start burning inside.

“When are you going to talk to her?” Eliott asked Sofiane, trying to distract himself. Imane came to them earlier and took Manon away because Emma needed their help. And when he saw once again a look of a loved-up puppy on his friend’s he couldn’t help himself. Sofiane looked at him questioning. Eliott rolled his eyes. “Come on, mate, you and Imane are soulmates, even the blind can see it. Just go and talk to her!”

“Like it’s so easy!” At least Sofiane wasn’t denying his feelings.

“You’ll never know if you won’t try,” Eliott said, and Sofiane clearly began to think about it.

“Hi, Eliott!” A brunette suddenly jumped out in front of him. Liana. He remembered her. A nice tiny girl with whom he was making out on some parties before but nothing more. She definitely had a crush on him, but he was always clear about not wanting anything serious. But she was too clingy, and he decided not to go there again.

“Hi,” he said, having zero interest in her.

Actually, there was something much more interesting in the background. Lucas and his friends were in the frame again, only this time Idriss and Emile joined them. He saw only Lucas, Idriss and the blond guy with the glasses on his face, but it was clear that all their attention was drugged by Emile. He was telling something waving his arms around. The company was constantly laughing. Lucas was laughing too. And probably it could have upset Eliott, but it wasn’t like that. Because he knew that the boy was glancing at him again from time to time, but he was doing it carefully. Nobody has noticed a thing. But Eliott did. And he saw how hard Emile was trying to attract the boy’s attention, and it wasn’t fair to take it away, from him, so Eliott needed to act. And he needed to act fast.

Liana was still standing there, talking some shit about «good old times» and «having fun», and Eliott saw an opportunity. He knew that it was the wrong thing to do, he knew that he would regret this in the morning. But that was an extreme measure. So he grabbed her by her jacket, pulled her closer, closed his eyes and kissed. That wasn’t even a kiss, but a weak attempt. But Liana didn’t notice it apparently, as she grabbed his face with hands and responded to the kiss. And Eliott felt nothing, absolutely nothing apart from a desire to finish it as soon as possible. And that «kiss» didn’t really last long, 10-15 seconds, but for Eliott, it seemed like an eternity. And when he opened his eyes, he saw that company disappeared once again and Lucas too, so he broke off the kiss immediately, said Liana something about calling her later and rushed to the door. The party was over for him now.

When he came back home, he didn’t fell asleep straight away. He decided to go through another torture and watch all the Instagram posts his friends and other students posted from the party. And there were many photos. Sofiane posted a photo with Imane, calling her the best dance-rival ever. Idriss posted a photo of the battle, describing Imane and Sofiane as «these talented fuckers». That was an achievement for him. Probably he was really impressed. Manon had a photo with Eliott, Sofiane and Imane, which had the caption «best non-drinking buddies in the world». Eliott smiled and liked it. And as for Emile… he posted a lot. Eliott wasn’t with him a lot at the party, but his friend was clearly enjoying it. His page was full of photos with different people, some of them Eliott knew, some of them he saw the first time. And there was a lot of Lucas there. Of course, it wasn’t only him, but the girls, his friends, and Emile, but, still, he was the one who attracted Eliott’s attention. And here he saw what Emile was talking about the other day. Lucas was a fan of dorky faces on photos and somehow it didn’t feel like him. And Eliott had to close all the photos before he went too far away with this in his thoughts. The reality was that he didn’t know the boy. They shared several strange moments but that was it. No information about him or his personality. Eliott still knew nothing. But still, he wasn’t surprised when he got the message.

lucallemant i had to leave too that’s all was just fake

And Eliott didn’t even think what the boy meant. It could be about this stupid party, or about people pretending as if they cared about them, or about Eliott’s kiss or about anything else for that matter. He just fell asleep, thinking about him not being a stranger to this feeling.

#skam france #elu fics #my fics #finally posting it here #four chapters in one post?#yeah #i'm that lazy #another forth chapter will be later #i hope #crush and burn baby

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alpxcamin · 6 years ago

Text

Guardian Angel

Requested?: nope ^^

Words: ~9.7k

Group: Stray Kids

Member(s): Felix (feat. ‘00 line)

A/N: I don’t know why this is so long, but I really enjoyed writing this! Apologies for the random changes in tense btw...Also, I did a little research, but I’m not quite sure if everything is accurate and I apologize if they aren’t. Feel free to point out my mistakes! I’m pretty proud of this tho lol and I hope you guys enjoy it just as much as I did writing it~

Dancing has always been a passion of yours. Ever since you could stand up by yourself, you’ve always felt happiest when dancing. Whether it was just messing around, or preparing for a performance, you felt like you were on top of the world when dancing. Nothing could stop you. No one could get in your way of becoming a renowned dancer.

Your dreams were crushed and your life began flying downhill when you reached middle school. You began feeling lightheaded all the time, thinking it was because of the stress of switching schools, you dismissed it by resting a couple of days. Soon, the dizziness faded.

Then a few months later, you collapsed in the middle of dance practice. Waking up with an aching head and chest, you stare up at the hospital ceiling wondering what happened. The doctor told you to take it easy, so you did. Determination and ambition kept you going. This was just a minor incident, you’ll get better.

Soon enough, you were out of the hospital, happily prancing around again. With a bright smile on your face, you were determined to set your life back to how it was before. Luckily for you, your best friends Seungmin and Hyunjin were there to help you back on your feet.

Hyunjin, who you have known since your birth, was also a dancer and he was understanding and supportive. As for Seungmin, he stayed by your side and non-stopped encouraged you to continue dancing.

However, disaster struck in your last year of middle school. You had been feeling dizzy for a couple days prior to your big performance and you felt a constant tight squeeze in your chest the day of. Mid-performance, you vision darkened and before you knew it, you were out cold on the floor.

Feeling cold, you slowly blink your eyes open. You groan when you feel throbbing all over your body. Your eyes wander the room, vision still bleary, you spot a couple of familiar figures in the corner of the room. It was Hyunjin and Seungmin. A small smile graced its way onto your pale face.

“Y/n!” Seungmin gasps as soon as he sees your slight movement.

Your two best friends rushed to your side, worried expressions on their handsome faces. They told you everything that had happened, but you had stopped listening as soon as they told you that you had an arrhythmia. You didn’t even know what that was, but you knew it was probably some life-threatening disease that would not allow you to dance again. You were right.

Unknowingly, tears rolled down your face and you felt Seungmin and Hyunjin each grab a hand of yours. They were whispering comforting words, you knew they were, but you couldn’t hear them. You could feel their warm hands soothing you, but all you could focus on was how you could probably never dance again.

You stayed in the hospital for the rest of the school year, Seungmin and Hyunjin visiting often, almost every day, to either give you your school work or just to hang out. You were grateful for them and luckily, you began to feel better.

The day the doctor told you that you were eligible for surgery, you were beyond delighted. You had stopped your dancing and was devastated, but now, you had a chance to dance again. You rang up Seungmin and Hyunjin as quickly as possible and excitedly spilled the news. They were both overjoyed.

Soon enough, you were out of the hospital by mid-summer, although you still couldn’t dance and had to take it easy, you were elated. Unfortunately, the surgery was expensive and your family couldn’t afford it. You decided to live the best that you could in the meantime. You believed that everyone had a guardian angel watching over them and you knew yours was going to sweep down to save you soon.

“I’m so sorry we can’t help you pay,” Hyunjin told you sadly.

“It’s alright. I know my guardian angel is going to come soon,” you offer a small smile.

“I sure hope so,” Seungmin nods, giving you a loose hug, not wanting to hurt you.

Soon enough, summer break ended and you began high school. Luckily, there was a program you were able to apply to. A program where you were able to get sponsored and in return, you offered your friendship and company.

He was your guardian angel. He didn’t give you his name and you didn’t give him yours. You enjoyed the mysteriousness and you were more than grateful when he agreed to pay for your surgery. The two of you hadn’t met, wanting to save the meeting for when you had gotten the surgery. Luckily, the two of you had exchanged numbers and texted often. You had learned that he is the same age as you. You had learned that he’s Australian. You had learned that he is also a dancer.

He had told you that he was more than happy to help another dancer out which was why he chose to help you. He knows how difficult it was and how competitive the industry is. You felt comforted knowing that he was there to help. You had told him that you thought he was your guardian angel and that was what you referred to him as. He told you he thought that it was really cute and all was well.

---

“Hurry up, Hyunjin. We’re going to be late! It’s the first day of school, damn it,” Seungmin grunts, fast-walking towards the classroom.

It was the first day of your junior year and Hyunjin got distracted by a stray cat on the way to school. You laughed at Seungmin who was struggling to get Hyunjin to leave the cat and at Hyunjin who refused to ditch the cat.

“For once, I agree with Min,” you giggle, tugging at Hyunjin’s sleeve, “I don’t want to be late on the first day.”

“Fine~” Hyunjin pouts, releasing the stray from his grips.

Finally arriving at school, the three of you stepped into the classroom just as the bell rang. Sighing, you guys decided to sit in the back of the classroom, as you had in the past two years of high school. You could feel the eyes of your peers on the three of you. It wasn’t really that surprising that the three of you were one of the most popular people at school.

Hyunjin, with his gorgeous face and extraordinary dancing skills, could easily woo anybody he ever wanted. Seungmin had been chosen as president for your grade for the past two years and you were sure he was going to win again this year. He was smart and dedicated which attracted a lot of your schoolmates. As for you, you had the looks and warm personality that made people want to befriend you. The three of you were known as the golden trio at your school.

You always thought to yourself, if people had known about your condition, would you still be as popular as you are now? Seungmin and Hyunjin always told you that you would, and you did believe them, but sometimes there was a little doubt. Shaking your head, you toss the thought aside and focus in class. Finally, the class ended and the three of you decided to stay in the classroom during resting period.

“What should we do after school today?” Seungmin asks, “It’s the first day so there’s not much work to do.”

“I want to go see the cat,” Hyunjin says while sipping on his drink.

“We should go to the ice cream parlor. I’ve been craving for ice cream recently,” you hum.

“Oh, the one that just opened nearby Hyunjin’s house?” Seungmin’s face brightened up.

“I went there with my mom one time. It’s pretty good,” Hyunjin nods in approval.

“Maybe the ice cream will help the pill go down easier,” you ponder. You had been taking medication for your condition which helped delay any serious problems.

“Hopefully,” Seungmin gives you a charming smile.

---

“I wonder what they’re talking about. It looks like they’re planning on something exciting,” Felix dreamily sighs, his eyes never leaving your figure.

“Stop staring, she’s going to notice. They probably are planning something exciting,” Jisung agrees, fiddling with a little piece of paper he had been playing with during class.

“I-I’m not staring! I just glanced over,” Felix huffed, feeling his cheeks heat up. He has had the biggest, most obvious crush on you since freshman year. He was hopelessly in love with you and you barely knew his name. However, Felix still hoped...even if Jisung was a debby-downer sometimes.

“Yeah ‘glancing’ for five minutes straight...sure,” Jisung teasingly chuckles.

“Ugh, shut up Jisung,” Felix pouts, taking one last look at your pretty figure before the bell rang and the teacher strolling in.

---

A few months passed and you could feel your body slowly deteriorating. Sometimes you felt fine, but other days, you felt like every part of your body had been run over by a steam roller and your head won’t stop spinning. However, your bond with your guardian angel only strengthened with each day.

“He just made another deposit! We’re almost at the goal price,” you happily hum in the hospital bed.

You made regular visits to the hospital for check-ups and Seungmin and Hyunjin would often tag along. They were there for moral support and you are ever so grateful.

“Oh my gosh yay! Hopefully, we can reach it before winter break,” Seungmin happily claps.

“We must celebrate,” Hyunjin grins, giving your hand a small squeeze.

“Yeah,” you stare at his text saying that he has made another deposit, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

If you were being honest, you have fallen for your mysterious savior throughout the past two and a half years. He was sweet, understanding, supportive, and most importantly, he basically saved your life. You couldn’t help but feel giddy, like a schoolgirl in love (which you pretty much are) whenever you receive a text or a call from him. It makes your heart race, and not because of your condition.

You decided to give him a call, to thank him. Pressing his contact, you put the phone on speaker so that Seungmin and Hyunjin could hear too. He had met both your best friends, well only through calls since you let them listen in sometimes, and they all got along quite well. Biting on your lip, you felt a small blush make its way onto your cheeks. Seungmin seemed to notice and he giggled, nudging your arm.

“Hello~” your guardian angel hums, his deep voice calming you.

“Hello, angel,” you giggle, “Thank you so much for the deposit!”

“Seriously, we can’t thank you enough for doing this,” Seungmin nods.

“It’s really no problem. It’s the least I can do for a fellow dancer,” Felix chuckles.

“Us dancers must stick together,” Hyunjin agrees.

“Anyway, how are you doing?” you ask.

“I’ve been alright, though I have this huge project coming up soon,” the deep voice groaned.

“Oh, same actually. Good luck, by the way,” you cheer him on.

“Hehe, thanks. You too,” he chuckled, the audio crackling a little.

Soon, both Seungmin and Hyunjin had to head home and you were left by yourself in the little hospital room, still on the phone with your savior. You always enjoyed the long phone calls you were able to have with him. It was comforting and he always takes your mind off your struggles.

“Say, angel, I’ve been thinking,” you gulp, “Maybe we should meet up before the surgery after all.”

“Don’t say that,” he hums.

“J-just in case you know,” you stutter, suddenly feeling a little scared and uncertain about your future.

“Please don’t think that way. When you get better, we will meet for sure,” you can hear just how genuine he is.

“Really?” you ask, still hesitant.

“Believe me. I’m your guardian angel, right? I’ll protect you. There’s no need to worry,” he chuckles comfortingly.

“You’re right. I can’t thank you enough, angel,” you smile.

“No problem. I’m here for you,” you can practically hear his smile.

Suddenly, the door opened and you gasped slightly. You were so immersed in the conversation that you hadn’t notice. You could hear him giggling on the other end of the line and you can’t help but chuckle along. You didn’t want to hang up, but you had to. The two of you exchanged goodbyes and your finger hovered over the end call button before finally pressing it.

“How’re you feeling?” your doctor gives you a small smile.

“I’ve been alright. He just made another deposit,” you return the smile.

“That’s wonderful. Soon, you’ll be on your way out and never have to visit again!” your doctor steps up to you to do your routine check-up.

“I sure hope so,” you clutch your phone, thinking about him.

---

“Hey, how long did you end up calling him for?” Hyunjin’s teasing voice traveled all the way to Felix’s ear.

The freckled boy whips around, the topic piquing interest to him. He was greeted by you blushing, shyly hitting Hyunjin. He couldn’t hear what your reply was from such a far distance, but his heart sank. Was there someone else? Were you already dating someone? Felix bit his lip, frustrated.

“Yo, what’s wrong?” Jisung plops down into the seat next to him, stabbing his juice box.

“Nothing,” Felix grumbles, staring at his hands.

“Come on, it doesn’t take a genius to know something is wrong,” Jisung sighs.

“It’s nothing big, Jisung. I...uh...I just got a bad grade on that last test. I don’t want to talk about it,” Felix shakes his head.

“Hmm...okay...but same,” Jisung hums suspiciously but dropping the topic anyway.

---

“Stop it Hyunjin...he doesn’t feel that way about me anyway,” you whine, lightly hitting Hyunjin’s arm.

“Hmm, I’m not sure about that. Why would he call you for that long?” Hyunjin raises a perfect eyebrow.

“He’s just being nice,” you groan, “Besides, he told me he has this massive crush on someone at his school.”

“What if he goes to our school?” Seungmin suggests.

“No way, the world isn’t that small,” you scoff, a little disappointed.

“You never know,” Seungmin shrugs.

---

“Alright students, we’re having a project for your final. Rather than taking a test, you guys will be put into groups to complete a full powerpoint and a poster on your chosen topic,” your teacher announces.

A mix of groans and cheering came from the students and your teacher chuckles. You stared ahead with a straight face. You knew you weren’t going to be able to do much since you were going to be in the hospital most of the time. Silently, you apologized to your group mates in advance.

The teacher started listing the groups and much to your disappointment, Seungmin ended up in a different group. You pout and waved goodbye to Seungmin as Hyunjin clung on to you, hoping to end up in the same group. You held your breath when you heard Hyunjin’s name get called.

“Hyunjin, Felix, Jisung, and Y/n,” your teacher calls.

“Yes! Seungmin can suck it!” Hyunjin whisper-yells, high-fiving you.

You roll your eyes, giggling at his antics and went to sit with your two other group mates. There was a bit of awkward tension, but you brushed it off and gave them a smile. You were sure Hyunjin felt the awkwardness too since he stiffened a little. He was a little more of an introvert than you were.

“Hey,” you cooly greeted the two.

“Hi,” Jisung excitedly shakes your outstretched hand.

“H-hey,” Felix shyly nods.

You’ve seen the pair a few times in the halls and they have been in a few of your classes since freshman year, but you’ve never really interacted with them much. They were considered the nerds, which you didn’t mind, but it seems that you’ve just never had the chance to talk to them before.

“So, which topic do you guys want to do?” Jisung asks. He seems to be the more outgoing of the two.

“This one about thermodynamics seems kind of interesting,” Hyunjin suggests.

“What? I thought you were more into the three kinematics,” you tilt your head, confused. Both you, Seungmin, and Hyunjin had all agreed before that kinematics was a lot more interesting.

“I’m sorry, I’m nervous,” Hyunjin pouts.

“Don’t be nervous...we don’t bite,” Felix chuckles.

You let out a laugh, throwing your head back. Little did you know, Felix’s cheeks had lit up and his ears had gone completely red. Felix’s little heart pounded at the sound of your laughter. He could listen to you laugh all day.

“I’m sure you don’t. Right, Jinnie?” you giggle, patting Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“Yeah, whatever,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, a small smile making its way onto his handsome face.

The four of you quickly decided on a topic and exchanged contacts before the bell rang. All of you filed out of the classroom, heading your separate ways.

“Hey, how’s your group?” Seungmin asks as the three of you stroll back home.

“Jisung and Felix seem like chill people,” Hyunjin nods in approval.

“Felix seems pretty funny,” you offer.

“Yeah, you were laughing a lot,” Seungmin chuckles.

“Gosh, Min. Focus on your own group,” you sassily respond.

“Wow, did you just say that to me?” Seungmin gasps in false offense.

“Yeah, she just did,” Hyunjin laughs.

The three of you continue to laugh until you reach home.

---

Felix tosses his backpack off and flops onto his bed, groaning. His face is warm and pink from his interactions with you just a few minutes ago. A shy smile made its way onto Felix’s freckled face and he lets out a small squeal.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jisung laughs, plopping down on the bed beside Felix.

“Nothing,” Felix sighs contentedly.

“Nothing my ass,” Jisung mocks,” It’s always y/n.”

“No...not always. I made her laugh a lot today though,” Felix sits up, his blush so dark you can barely see his freckles anymore.

“Oh my gosh, your face is so red,” Jisung bursts, clutching his stomach.

Felix bites his lip, brows furrowing, “Shut up, Jisung. You’re so noisy.”

Jisung scoffs, “Me? Noisy? Never~”

Felix simply rolls his eyes, shoving Jisung’s backpack off his chair and starting on his work. Both Jisung and Felix got to work, but the freckled boy can’t help but let his mind wander to earlier in class. The way you threw your head back at his jokes made him blush all over again. Oh, how he wished he could make you laugh like that every day.

---

Curled up in layers of blankets, you scroll through your old photos and videos. Sometimes you liked to get all cozy and relive your old life through your pictures and videos. Sometimes you invited Seungmin and Hyunjin over to join you. Sometimes you didn’t. This time, you didn’t. You stopped on one particular photo and it usually doesn’t bring tears to your eyes, but this time it did.

You sigh, staring at your younger self. The photo was taken after a competition you joined and you had won first place. You were smiling so brightly as Seungmin and Hyunjin stood by your side looking so proud. You were holding up your little gold medal, Seungmin and Hyunjin each had an arm around you, smiling proudly on either side of you.

You suddenly felt really nostalgic and you couldn’t help but let out a small whimper. You wish you could dance again, to be on stage and perform, to compete. Taking a deep breath, you decided to post the picture on your private account that only your closest friends knew about. You didn’t want anyone else knowing about your condition because you didn’t want anyone’s pity which is why no one knows that you danced.

You smiled a little, reliving the memory. You tagged Seungmin and Hyunjin and added a caption.

I miss this.

After posting it, you shut off your phone, plugged it in to charge for the night and buried yourself deeper into your pile of blankets. You quickly fall asleep, dreaming of yourself dancing with Hyunjin, and Seungmin cheering the two of you on.

---

“Y/n!” Felix calls after you.

You spin around, surprised that Felix was calling for you. He ran to you excitedly, unlocking his phone. You were surprised because the two of you never really talked until yesterday to discuss the project. It was funny to see such a shy boy look so hyper and so you chuckled a little.

“Hey Felix,” you kindly greet him.

“H-hey…” Felix suddenly becomes shy again, pressing some buttons on his phone.

His eyes sparkle when he seems to found what he wanted to show you. It made you smile to see him so happy. Even if you didn’t really know the boy, you liked to see people so excited. Felix shyly turns his phone so you can see what is on the screen and you gasp. You hadn’t realized that you had posted the photo on your main account.

Your eyes widen in shock. You snatch the phone from him, yanking out your own phone from your pocket. You hadn’t checked your notifications in the morning and you scrolled through people’s comments on your post. Luckily, they were all either congratulating you for what you won or commenting on how adorable younger you, Hyunjin, and Seungmin looked. Thankfully, the medal wasn’t that obvious and only dancers would recognize what the medal was for.

“I’m sorry I snatched your phone like that,” you apologize, handing the blushing boy in front of you his phone back.

“It’s fine,” he bites his lip.

“Um, so what about the photo?” you ask, slightly panicked. You pray that he didn’t recognize the medal.

“I didn’t know you danced!” Felix slips his phone back into his pocket, “I’m a dancer too and I recognized the medal. Congratulations by the way...even though that seemed to be a while ago.”

“O-Oh...thank you,” you try to give him a genuine smile. Fear was clawing at you from the inside.

“We should dance together sometime,” Felix looks down, blushing a little, “If you want to of course.”

“I can’t...Felix,” you gulp, “I don’t dance.”

“But the medal. You must be really good,” Felix encourages.

“I’m not,” you take a deep breath, trying to keep your composure.

“The first place medal tells me otherwise,” Felix chuckles.

You give him a weak smile but stayed silent. You are afraid that if you said anything, the tears would burst from your eyes. You didn’t want to cry, not now.

“Ah, I actually participated in that competition before and won. I believe we have matching medals,” Felix gives you a cheeky grin, “Jisung told me that he thought I deserved better than first place, but I think someone else should have won honestly.”

Felix gives you a hopeful look, praying that his anecdote might help you open up about your dancing. You simply shake your head, feeling scared.

“I can’t dance,” you spit out, unintentionally sounding aggressive.

Felix’s face drops, his smile falters. You can see that he’s disappointed and you feel terrible for bursting at him like that. He didn’t deserve it. You wish the ground would swallow you up and you bowed, hiding your embarrassed expression and bubbling tears.

“I-I’m so sorry Felix,” you choke out.

Before the poor boy could respond, you turned and ran out of the halls. The rest of the day, you tried to avoid him and luckily today you didn’t have any classes with him today. As soon as you got home, you dialed your guardian angel’s number

He was always there for you. He always listens and makes sure that by the end of the call, you are feeling better than you have ever felt before. You sniffle, waiting for him to pick up and he picks up within seconds as usual.

“Hey, how are you?” he asks.

“Not good,” you mumble, “Do you have time for a long call?”

“Tell me what happened,” you can hear his worry.

You try to calm yourself, but your voice still came out shaky. You spill out what you’ve been feeling, not even realizing you have begun to cry in the middle. You didn’t give any specifics, just the stress and pain you’ve been feeling.

“Today’s just been a bad day,” you sniff, wiping away the tears with a crumpled tissue.

“We all have those days and they will pass. Tomorrow is going to be better, I know it,” your angel assures.

“Thanks for listening to my rant. I’m so sorry you have to put up with me,” you bitterly chuckle.

“Hey, you’re not a burden at all. I want to help and I’ll always be here for you. You’re special and you deserve so much better than what is going on right now. Just hold out a little longer, I’m going to protect you,” he promises.

“Thank you so much. If you have any problems you can come to me too. You’ve done so much for me, I have to repay you and I hope this friendship is enough,” you smile, feeling better already.

“Thanks,” he hesitates a little before speaking again, “Well, today has been pretty bad for me too.”

“Aww, what’s wrong?” you sit up a little straighter, you can hear the sadness in his deep voice.

“You know that girl I told you about? The one I really like,” he sighs.

“Yeah…” your brows furrow. As much as you wish he liked you instead, you would never wish anything bad upon that girl.

“I-I think she hates me now,” he groans, “I made her cry today.”

“Oh no,” you sympathetically gasp.

“Yeah, long story short, I think I pushed a little too far. She must have been having a bad day and when I asked her about something I assume is more personal, her whole demeanor just changed. I could feel the frustration radiating off of her and I guess what I said made her burst. She ran away from me before I could even apologize,” the voice on the other end cracked.

“Angel, I don’t think she hates you. If she’s just having a bad day, she’ll understand that you didn’t do anything wrong. You just caught her at the wrong time,” you comfortingly suggest.

“I hope so,” he sighs.

“Don’t worry. You should try talking to her again tomorrow,” you offer.

“That’s a good idea,” he agrees, his voice more steady now, “Thank you so much for letting me rant.”

“No problem, it’s the least I can do,” you sadly smile, “I just wish I could talk to you face-to-face.”

“Me too, but I want our first meeting to be special,” he agrees, “I can’t wait to see you all healthy, happy, and dancing again.”

You giggle, “Yeah, I hope the surgery will help.”

“Same here. Remember, I’ll be watching over you so you have nothing to worry about. I’ll make sure the doctors don’t make a wrong move,” he chuckles.

“Thank you so much. I can’t thank you enough,” you laugh, checking the clock, “I do have to go now though. I have that project to work on.”

“Same. I’ll talk to you later and I hope you feel better!” he offers, extremely supportive.

“Bye-bye, angel~” you hum, hanging up after he returns the greeting.

Tossing your phone onto the end of your bed, you sigh happily. You always felt like you were on top of the world after a call with him. He just had that effect on you. He takes away all your stress and worries.

Encouraged and motivated, you started on your homework and calling Seungmin and Hyunjin later to give them an update since you had run out on them earlier today as well.

---

Felix is miserable. No words could describe how guilty and disappointed he feels. He had angered you yesterday and he didn’t know what happened, but he couldn’t help but the feel like it was his fault. He had called Jisung when he got home that day, confiding in him.

Although Jisung told him to stop worrying and that she was probably having an off day, Felix can’t help but worry. He didn’t want to face you in class today, but he also has to apologize. Luckily, when he walked into the classroom, you were happily chatting away with Seungmin and Hyunjin as usual. At least you feel better now and it made Felix’s mood brighten a bit.

“Hey man. You don’t look too hot,” Jisung gives his freckled friend a concerned look.

“I’m fine…” Felix takes another peek at you, “I need to apologize to her.”

“Stop worrying about it. I’m sure she doesn’t think it’s your fault for what happened yesterday,” Jisung reassures him, giving him an encouraging pat on the back.

“I hope,” Felix sighs, slightly dreading on working on the group project.

Little did he know, you were feeling the same.

“Seriously? I can’t believe you tripped over Seungmin. Did you really not see him there?” you laugh.

“I swear, he wasn’t there a second ago!” Hyunjin groans.

“You need to get your eyes checked. I had been sitting there since I got into your house,” Seungmin rolls his eyes.

“You two are idiots,” you chuckle, turning your head to see who had entered the classroom.

You smile falters when you see that it’s Felix. He looked tired and dejected which you assume was because of what happened yesterday. The guilt began eating away at you and you looked away, brows furrowed.

“Hey, we all have bad days,” Seungmin reassures you when he notices who had just walked in.

“Talk to him later. Get it off your chest,” Hyunjin suggests, giving your hand a light squeeze.

“Thanks, guys,” you give them a weak smile. You hope Felix would understand.

---

As soon as the bell rang for lunch, you lunge out of your seat to catch Felix before he left the classroom with Jisung.

“Felix!” you reach out and grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving.

Both Felix and Jisung jump in shock and they whip around to face you. Both boys’ eyes travel down to your hand on Felix’s arm and you blush, letting go, muttering an apology. Jisung simply smirks while Felix’s freckles slowly disappeared.

“Hey, can I borrow Felix for a second?” you clear your throat.

“Feel free to take him for the whole lunch,” Jisung winks at you playfully before skipping off.

The two of you slowly made your way outside, the awkwardness looming around the both of you. The two of you made your way to a quiet corner and you sigh. You gulp before looking him in the eye.

“I’m so sorry about yesterday, Felix. I wasn’t feeling well,” you bow.

“Oh, I hope you’re feeling better now,” Felix looks at you worriedly.

“I’m fine now, thanks,” you look up at him through your lashes.

Felix visibly gulps, “I’m sorry about yesterday too. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“That’s okay. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” you shake your head.

You gently take his hand in yours and give them a light squeeze, hoping that he would forgive you. Felix blushes and he averts his gaze.

“I hope we can get to know each other,” you offer, “I hope we can be friends.”

“O-of course,” Felix shyly smiles.

The meek smile on your face widens and you instinctively give him a hug, squeezing him. Felix stiffens in shock, but he quickly recovers and wraps his arms around you to return the hug.

You spent the rest of lunch with Felix, and though you didn’t touch on the subject of dance, the two of you found much more in common and shared lots of laughs. The two of you got along well and you appreciated your new found friendship.

“Jisung really did that? Well, at least it’s not as bad as when Hyunjin tripped over Seungmin yesterday. He claims that he didn’t see Min on the floor,” you giggle, strolling back to the classroom since lunch had ended.

“Seriously? I thought they were both super graceful and stuff,” Felix laughs.

“No one really knows them. They’re the biggest dorks I’ve ever known,” you laugh along, entering the classroom.

You spot Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Jisung already sitting together, getting ready for the project. The teacher had told all of you that the next few classes would be dedicated to working on the final project.

“Looks like we were too slow,” you chuckle, skipping over to your friends, dragging Felix with you.

The three of them were giving you a peculiar look. You can’t quite tell what the expression they’re making is so you make a confused face of your own. You sit down next to Hyunjin and Felix slides into the seat next to yours.

“We were talking about you,” Jisung playfully giggles, scooting his chair in to form a tighter circle.

“So were we,” Felix spits back, sticking his tongue out playfully.

“You’d better not be talking trash. I have a reputation to keep up,” Seungmin eyes you suspiciously.

“Don’t worry, it was mostly of Hyunjin doing dumb things anyway,” you laugh.

“What? Nothing I do is dumb. You’re delusional,” Hyunjin scoffs, pointing at you accusingly.

“Whatever, let’s start before we get yelled at,” you shake your head, a smile on your face.

---

From that day on, your friend groups seemed to have merged. The five of you eat lunch together and hang out together after school. You and Felix however, have gotten particularly close. It became a known fact that Felix has a crush on you, which you don’t really mind, but you didn’t want to break his heart by telling him you already have someone else you’re smitten with. No one told you, but it was kind of obvious. So, you and Felix never touched on the subject.

However, you do find yourself slowly falling for the charming boy. His smile makes your heart flutter, his caring gestures makes your face warm, and his voice makes you melt into a puddle of lovestruck goop. Although you began feeling things for Felix, you never told him. Besides, you still have a massive crush on your guardian angel. Whenever you’re with Felix you feel that you can move on from your angel since he already has someone, but whenever you’re calling him, you can’t help but fall in love with him all over again.

You feel conflicted, but you kept your struggles to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone.

“Hey Felix, what’s up?” you ask, keeping your phone to your ear with your shoulder, continuing on your homework.

“Since the project is due on the day of the final, do you want to meet up with the others to finish it this week? Finals are in two weeks and we all have other finals to study for too so it might be more convenient,” Felix’s deep voice rang through, making your heart flutter a little.

“That’s a good idea. You should just text the group chat,” you giggle.

“Uh, right,” Felix becomes quiet and you receive a notification from said group chat, “Okay, just sent it.”

“I got it,” you laugh, “Well I know Hyunjin and Seungmin’s schedule...when are you and Jisung free?”

“How about next Monday after school?” Felix suggests.

“Can’t. Hyunjin has dance,” you hum, “How about Wednesday?”

“Oh, I’m free, but Jisung has extracurricular classes,” Felix sighs.

“Darn, how about Thursday?” you ask.

“Jisung and I are free that day,” Felix approves, “I’ll just text the group chat to make sure.”

“Good idea,” you nod, even though Felix can’t see you.

Felix and you chatted for a while longer, but your mom suddenly bursts in your room and you let out a shriek. You apologize to Felix before hanging up.

“Mom~ I almost got a heart attack!” you hold your hand up to your chest, feeling your heart beat faster, “You know I’m supposed to try to keep my heart rate as regular as possible.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but look! The final payment has been made!” your mom excitedly shows you her phone and the last payment has indeed been made.

“Oh my gosh! Finally,” you feel yourself tear up.

Your mom bursts into tears and the two of you hold each other, sobbing happy tears. You are overjoyed, you silently thank your guardian angel for this chance. Later that night, you called up your guardian angel to thank him and your family went out for a celebratory dinner.

“So, when am I going to get the surgery?” you ask, taking a bite of your food.

“We were thinking after your last final,” your dad cuts into his meat.

“The doctors said you’ll need to be there for the entirety of the week prior to the surgery. Since that would be the week of your finals, they said it would be okay for you to take the finals and then head straight back to the hospital,” your mom nods.

“That sounds good to me,” you smile. You were excited. This surgery could change your life and you could possibly dance again.

That night, you fell asleep the happiest you have ever been. You dreamed of dancing that night, the spotlight shone on your figure. When you finished, you spot a dark, hazy figure in the middle of the audience and you smiled. You knew that was your guardian angel and he was watching over you.

---

“Hey, where’s y/n?” Felix tilts his head, wondering why you haven’t shown up to class yet.

“Y/n’s not going to be here this whole week,” Seungmin informs him.

“What? Is she okay?” Felix’s brows furrowed in worry.

“She’s fine,” Hyunjin shrugs, “That’s why she offered to do most of the project on Thursday.”

“O-oh…” Felix swallows harshly.

“Don’t worry about her. She’s going to be fine,” Hyunjin places a hand on Felix’s shoulder giving it a light squeeze.

“Sorry, I can’t help it. What’s going on though?” Felix sighs.

“We can’t tell you, sorry. We promised her not to,” Seungmin shakes his head sadly, “I wish she could open up about things, but I know she just doesn’t want anyone to worry or have anyone judge her.”

“Ah, I see. I hope she’s okay,” Felix looks down dejectedly.

“It’s nothing personal if that’s what you’re thinking,” Hyunjin says.

“No, I understand,” Felix licks his lips, “I just hope nothing’s wrong.”

---

Throughout the week, you studiously take all your finals in the small hospital room and studying. Seungmin and Hyunjin came in a few times to study with you and you were thankful. As much as you were excited about the surgery, you were also extremely nervous and adding on the stress of finals didn’t really help.

However, your guardian angel called often to check up on you. It was his finals week as well, but that didn’t stop him from making sure you were okay and you couldn’t be more thankful for such a sweet guy watching over you. The two of you had finally set a time to meet. You wanted him to be the first person you saw when you woke up so the two of you planned for him to be waiting outside your room after your surgery. He would come in as soon as the doctors saw your eyes open. You told your doctors your plan and they happily complied, wishing the best for you. You were so excited about the meeting you felt as if your heart was beating a thousand miles per hour. That couldn’t be good for you, but you were too giddy to care.

Finally, you finished your last final and you sigh contentedly. You relaxed a little, but then remembered that you would be under the knife in just a few hours. Your phone suddenly rings and you check the caller ID. It was your guardian angel. Your heart picks up its pace and you answer immediately.

“Hi,” you excitedly breathe into the mic.

“Hey, are you ready?” his deep voice rumbles.

“I’m more than ready...though I am a little nervous still,” you confess.

“It’s perfectly normal to be nervous. I bought you something, by the way. I asked the nurse to bring it to you. Hopefully, it can be like a lucky charm and you can take it with you into surgery,” his steady voice calms you.

“You didn’t have to spend any more money on me than you already do,” your brows furrowed when he told you he bought you something, “I appreciate it though. I’ll definitely take it with me.”

“It’s no problem. I guess I just wanted to somehow be there with you,” he chuckles. You can tell from his voice that he got a little shy.

“Thank you,” you pause as a nurse comes into your room, “Oh, hold on. Someone is here.”

“This is from him,” the nurse smiled kindly, one hand pointing at your phone while the holding a tiny box in the other.

“Oh, thank you,” the grin on your face widens. The nurse quickly leaves and you continue your call with your angel.

“Open it,” he encourages.

You set your phone on speaker so you didn’t have to hold it and you tugged at the delicately tied bow. The ribbons fell and you lifted the lid of the small box. You gasp and pull out the silver jewelry.

It was a silver necklace with a little angel charm. You speechlessly flip the charm around and on the back of the angel, today’s date was finely etched onto it. Your tongue felt heavy and you immediately clasped it onto your neck. You silently vowed to never take it off.

“Do you like it?” his voice hopeful, but also a little nervous. You hadn’t said anything yet.

“I...I love it. It’s gorgeous,” you sniffle, gently touching the angel charm on the necklace that is now resting at the top of your chest area.

“I’m glad,” he lets out a relieved sigh.

“And the date on the back. It’s today,” you lick your dry lips.

“Yeah. It’s the day we meet and the day you can finally dance again. Today is an important day,” he chuckles.

“Thank you so much,” you begin to tear up, “Oh gosh, I’m going to cry.”

“Don’t cry,” he laughs, “I’ll be by your side.”

“I’m speechless. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me,” you shyly confess, thankful that he wasn’t here to see you blush.

“I can say the same to you. You’re an inspiration,” his genuine voice calms you.

“You flatter me,” you giggle, “Well, I think it’s about time. I’ll call you-- no I’ll see you later.”

“Wow, that sounds so foreign. Are we speaking the same language?” the two of you burst out in laughter.

“Well, I can't wait to actually see you in person to thank you,” you sigh happily.

“Same here. Good luck and remember I’m always with you,” he cheers you on.

You simply hum and he hangs up. You put your phone aside just as the doctor comes in. You’re placed onto another bed and you clutch onto your new necklace. Your vision slowly fades as they put you under heavy anesthetic. You drift off to deep sleep, serenity washing over you.

---

Felix paced around his room. He couldn’t stop. He hadn’t seen you all week and he had become a nervous wreck. He prayed that you were okay and despite Seungmin and Hyunjin telling him that you were, he couldn’t stop worrying.

The love of his life hadn’t shown up for finals and barely responded to any of his texts and calls. The poor boy just wanted to see you. That’s all he was asking for. He tries to calm himself and decides to head out. He had promised someone important that he would be at the hospital. He decided to calm himself and get there early.

Felix couldn’t stop thinking about you as he makes his way to the hospital. He wonders what you’ve been up to the past week since both Seungmin and Hyunjin refuse to tell him. The steps in through the hospital doors, greeting the nurse in the front.

“I’m Felix,” he informs them and the nurse leads him to the front of one of the rooms.

“You might have to wait a little longer, but you can take a peek if you want,” the nurse smiled reassuringly.

“Thanks,” Felix gives the nurse a tight smile, shoving his hands in his pockets.

The nurse leaves and Felix hesitantly makes his way to the door. Head down, Felix takes a deep breath before peeking through the window. He squints to get a better view of the person sleeping in the bed and his jaw drops. Everything makes sense now.

---

A soft, constant beeping noise became louder and louder, causing you to stir. Your eyes snap open and you feel slightly panicked, but calm yourself down when you see where you are. You close your eyes and smile. The surgery was finished and you made it.

You hear the door creak open and you open your eyes, shifting yourself so that you were sort of sitting up. You groaned a little at the soreness your body felt, but you couldn’t care less. You knew who was at the door. Your eyes trailed from the floor to his feet and up his body and finally, his face. Your eyebrows shoot up, mouth hanging open.

“F-Felix?” you gasp.

He shyly chuckles, making his way towards you, “I hope you’re not disappointed.”

You shake your head, tugging Felix’s hand, motioning for him to sit. He sits at the side of your bed and you tear up. With the little energy you have, you give Felix the tightest hug you could give. You felt bad for getting his shirt wet with your tears, but it wasn’t the most important thing right now. You were just overwhelmed.

“I was hoping it was you,” you whisper, squeezing Felix just a little tighter.

There’s so much you want to tell him, but you couldn’t get anything else. Your tears didn’t stop and Felix carefully wiped them away, his bright smile never leaving his face. He chuckles when you hiccup and hands you some water to help you calm down.

“Everything makes sense now. Why you were gone during finals week, why you told me you couldn’t dance,” Felix runs his fingers through your hair comfortingly, his hand then sliding from your head down to your hand, gripping it tightly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything. I didn’t know how and I didn’t want you to think that I’m weak or anything,” you cry, sipping the water.

“I wouldn’t ever think that. I’m sponsoring someone with the same story as you,” he chuckles, “And that person turns out to be you.”

You nod, too tired to say anything more. Felix notices your eyes drooping and you let out a cute yawn. Felix laughs, tugging the blankets higher up on your body. He stands up, still holding your hand.

“I’ll let you rest,” Felix runs his thumb over your hand lightly.

“Stay,” you whisper, giving Felix’s soft hands a tight squeeze.

“Alright, I’ll stay,” you hear Felix chuckle before drifting to sleep.

---

Over the course of winter break, you recover smoothly and spill your whole story out to Felix even though he knows pretty much all of it. You show him your old videos and pictures and he shows you some of his own dance routines. The two of you bond over your passion and it distracts you from the hardships that come with recovering from surgery. Soon enough, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Jisung, your family, and your classmates all came to visit at some point. Felix never left your side. He only got up to eat and shower. He slept on the little couch bed squeezed into the corner of your bland hospital room.

“Okay, truth or dare?” Hyunjin smirks, sitting cross-legged at the end of your bed.

“Dare. Momma ain’t raise no wimp,” Seungmin huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, his head held high.

“Sure, I dare you to press every single button on the vending machine down the hall,” Hyunjin cocks a perfect brow.

“W-What...that’s rude,” Seungmin hesitates, “This is a hospital, Hyunjin. Not school.”

“Momma ain’t raise no wimp,” Hyunjin mocks, throwing his head back in laughter.

“I’ll go with you so you don’t have to be embarrassed,” you offer, laughing as well.

“No way! You just want to go to laugh at me!” Seungmin shrieks.

“So, are you going to do the dare or pick truth for the rest of the game?” Hyunjin confidently puffs.

“Fine, fine. Just continue playing while I humiliate myself out there,” Seungmin groans, getting up and leaving the room.

“Well, I guess I’ll go,” Jisung offers, “Felix. Truth or dare?”

“I don’t want to humiliate myself either so truth,” Felix chuckles.

“Hmm, that’s a good choice,” Jisung smirks.

Felix visibly gulps, his face grimacing, “Okay?”

“So, are you in love with y/n?” Jisung giggles, knowing that the answer was obvious.

Both yours and Felix’s face flare up, refusing to make eye contact with each other. While you were desperately playing with the blanket, Felix was blubbering and stuttering. You found it cute and although you were embarrassed, you wish Felix would say yes.

“Just answer the damn question you fool!” Jisung teases, causing Hyunjin to nearly roll off the bed from laughing so hard.

“Y-yes...I do,” Felix sighs, shyly looking over at you.

You freeze. Felix looks at you with the most innocent and hopeful puppy dog eyes which cause you to become more red, if that was even possible. You want to just attack him with kisses, but you couldn’t will yourself to move. Felix’s face drops and the memory of you telling him you couldn’t dance slides its way back into your memory and you shudder.

“Y/n, truth or dare,” Hyunjin looks at you. You know what he was thinking.

“Dare,” you squeak.

“I dare you to just confess to Felix,” Hyunjin groans, “You’ve been so in love with him for the past few years and you didn’t even know.

“W-what?” It’s Felix’s turn to freeze. Jisung facepalms.

“This is so embarrassing,” you cry, “ but yeah...I’ve kind of had a crush on you since you decided to sponsor me.”

“Do you know how long Seungmin and I have had to deal with her blubbering about how in love she is with her ‘guardian angel’ and how devastated she is when she found out you had a crush...on her?” Hyunjin shakes his head.

“Oh...my gosh…” cheeks bright pink, Felix begins giggling.

“Don’t laugh at me~” you whine, “I kind of suspected that you’ve had a crush on me since freshman year so you’re not one to laugh.”

“Fair point, but that’s so cute,” Felix purses his lips and reaches over to squish your cheeks.

“It’s not, it’s embarrassing,” you pout, trying to pull Felix’s hand away from your face.

“What’s funny is that Felix has been crushing on you and you’ve been crushing on him the whole time,” Jisung wipes away an imaginary tear.

“So? Are you guys dating now? Can we celebrate yet?” Hyunjin asks.

However, neither you nor Felix was really paying attention. You stare at Felix, admiring his perfect face. His soft looking hair, his adorable sparkly eyes, his constellation-like freckles, his cute button nose, his perfectly kissable lips, he drove you absolutely crazy; it was a good kind of crazy. The two of you stare into each other’s eyes, the world around you disappear.

Both of you started leaning in until an awkward cough was heard. The two of you freeze, slowly looking back at your friends. The two of you blushed and pulled away, but Felix’s hand remained in yours.

“Sorry to ruin the moment,” Jisung laughs.

“We’ll leave now and we’ll get Seungmin to stay out for a while too. Remember, don’t do anything Jesus wouldn’t do,” Hyunjin winks, hopping off the end of your bed.

You and Felix wordlessly watch as your friends leave. It was silent, but a comfortable silence. After a while of just holding hands and enjoying each other’s company, Felix finally speaks up.

“So...about earlier,” Felix shyly rubs the nape of his neck with his free hand, “well the cat’s out of the bag now.”

“Yeah...so...are we dating?” you ask hesitantly, not knowing if Felix wanted to be with you despite his recent confession.

“If you want,” Felix smiles at you, pure love shining in his eyes.

You smile back, blushing, “Of course I want to. I’ve been unknowingly head-over-heels for you for two-plus years.”

“Me too,” Felix giggles, pulling you closer to him.

Your eyes instinctively flutter shut. Thankfully, no one else was in here to watch the two of you and you blush. Little did you know, Felix’s smile widens when he sees your eyes closed and he does the same.

After what seemed like an eternity, you feel Felix’s plush lips on yours and you can’t help but smile like crazy. You giggle a little and pull Felix even closer to you, both your bodies flush against each other. Your hand slips out of his and your arms travel up his body and rest on his shoulders. His arms snake around your waist and he shifts himself onto your hospital bed so that it was more comfortable for both of you.

Your hands find their way up to his head and the feeling of his soft, fluffy hair sends tiny jolts up your body. You felt as if you were floating on a cloud and that you could fly away at any second, only Felix was keeping you grounded. You couldn’t get enough of him and you decided that all the pain and suffering was definitely worth it. You couldn’t have asked for a better guardian angel.

Unfortunately, both of you were slowly getting out of breath so you pull away from him. Pupils blown, the two of you sat, panting, unable to tear your eyes away from each other. Felix breaks into a smile, his pearly whites shining. You began giggling, his hair was all messed up from your hands running through them and you were sure your lips were so swollen you looked like a fish.

“I love you so much,” Felix cups your face, caressing it gently.

“I love you too. I couldn’t have asked for a better guardian angel,” you grin, placing your hand on top of his that was on your cheek.

“You guys are finally together, huh,” a familiar voice causes both you and your new boyfriend to jump.

“About time,” Hyunjin laughs, standing by the door with Seungmin and Jisung.

The five of you burst out into laughter. It definitely was about time and even though the wait was long, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

---

“Hey, love,” Felix pauses his footsteps, causing you to crash into him.

“What is it?” you ask, wiggling your fingers a little, adjusting your grip on his hand.

“I think it’s about time,” Felix points at the poster on the window.

Your eyes travel from his finger to the colorful poster. It was advertising an upcoming dance competition. You shake your head slightly, a little unsure of yourself. Felix turns to you and cups your face in his hands.

“If you’re not ready, you don’t have to and I’ll support whatever you choose, but I really think you’re ready. You’ve been non-stop training and getting back into shape every since you got out of the hospital. I’m more than 100% confident that you can beat anyone in that competition,” Felix encourages, giving you little pecks in between each sentence, “Most importantly, I’ll be there. I’ll protect you.”

“Felix…” you drag out his name, still a little weary.

“I’m your guardian angel, remember? I’ll make sure nothing bad will happen to you...ever. I love you,” Felix tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Alright...I trust you,” you nod, “I have been thinking about doing something more competitive recently.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! You should’ve told me,” Felix smiles softly.

“I know, but I just didn’t know if I was capable...or worthy to start again,” you sigh.

“You are more than capable and I don’t think the competition is worthy enough to have you,” your boyfriend chuckles.

You giggle, “Thank you. I can’t thank you enough...for being there for me all the time.”

“I do it because I care,” Felix easily leans into your open arms, cuddling up to you. You give your cuddly boyfriend a tight squeeze before pulling away.

“Well, it’s about time, isn’t it,” you give him a small smirk, taking a picture of the poster.

Felix nods, laughing. His arm carefully loops around you and the two of you continue strolling, chattering and laughing. Although you weren’t certain how you would do in the competition, or what would happen when you graduate, or if you would take dancing to become your full-time career, you knew one thing for sure.

Even though your future was unknown, you know one thing for sure: you would always have your guardian angel with you.

~Admin Liz ♡

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tyrus-muffins · 6 years ago

Note

Tj misses school and Cyrus surprises him at his house with muffins. You can change it up I just thought it was a cute idea! Thank you :)

love this prompt omg i hope this turns out okay!!(btw i used the Kippen twins headcanon oop)_________Cyrus enters the cafeteria and finds Andi and Buffy already in line, “Hey, guys!” he greeted as he approached his best friends.“Hey, Cy!” Andi replies and Buffy waves with a smile. “Have you seen TJ today?” Cyrus asks with a curious expression as he looked around the cafeteria. Andi and Buffy share a look and back at Cyrus.“No, haven’t seen him.” Buffy shrugged. “Why?”Cyrus sighed, looking at Andi. “Well, you know those blueberry macadamia muffins I told you about last night?” Andi nods. “Long story short, TJ and I made a bet, I lost, and I owe him those muffins. I couldn’t find them anywhere, so I got the ingredients together and made them. Well, I tried to. They probably turned out terrible. Anyway, I was gonna surprise him with them today, but I can’t find him!” He explained with a look of disappointment.“Have you tried texting him?” Buffy asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.“Oh. Yeah, I guess that could work.” Cyrus mentally cursed at himself, why hadn’t he thought of just texting him? Cyrus pulls his phone out and opens the text app.underdog: hey tj! where are u?After Cyrus sent the text, the Good Hair Crew made their way to a table outside with Jonah. A couple minutes later his phone buzzed.not-so-scary basketball guy: stayed home today. im sick.underdog: oh no! :( sorry to bother u. feel better!not-so-scary basketball guy: no worries, underdog. i should be back in a couple days. nothing i can’t handle :)Buffy raises an eyebrow at Cyrus’ worried expression, “You okay there, Cyrus?”Cyrus locked his phone and looked up, “Yeah. TJ didn’t come to school today. He’s sick.”“Oh, well that sucks. I hope he feels better.” Andi says and Jonah nods in agreement.“I wish there was something I could do.” Cyrus sighs.Buffy and Andi share a knowing look and grin at each other before Buffy spoke up, “Why don’t you take him the muffins you made for him after school?”“That’ll totally make him feel better.” Andi added. “It’d be so cute! TJ, laying in bed sick and miserable and then you show up with muffins to brighten his day! Though, I’m sure just you showing up would brighten his day.”Cyrus knit his eyebrows, “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Come on, Cyrus! He totally likes you!” Andi said. Jonah nodded, “Yeah, dude. Even I noticed it. And I gotta say, Cy-Guy, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you don’t have feelings for him, too.” He said before popping a french fry in his mouth.Cyrus groaned, “Okay, Do I have a slight crush on TJ? Yes. But-” Buffy scoffed, cutting him off, “Slight crush?”Cyrus sighed, “Fine. I, Cyrus Goodman, have a big fat crush on TJ Kippen!” He whisper yelled, “But that doesn’t leave this table. TJ can’t find out. I’m okay with being just friends. I’d rather be his friend than nothing at all.” He placed his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand, frowning.Buffy placed a supportive hand on her best friends shoulder, “We know, Cyrus. It’s okay. But I’m telling you, he totally likes you, too!” The bell rings and everybody gets up. “Let us know how it goes?” Buffy asked and Cyrus nodded. They all made their way to their classes. The rest of the day went by fairly quickly, much to Cyrus’ surprise. Finally, the last bell rang. Cyrus rushed to his locker and grabbed the tupperware that contained the muffins, placing it in his backpack. He left the school and made his way to TJ’s house.—–TJ was laying in bed, miserable. Tissues flooded his trash can and there were at least six bottles of water on his nightstand, not counting the 3 empty ones. He had a movie playing on his laptop and he started dozing off. Just when TJ is almost asleep, he heard the doorbell. He lazily opened his eyes and groaned. It couldn’t be his mom since she was at work and had a key to the house, he thought to himself. It was probably just Amber because she tends to misplace her key a lot. Worst case scenario, it was a serial killer. Which, by the way, did not sound too bad to TJ right now.The doorbell rang again, making TJ finally sit up and take his time walking downstairs. He hears the doorbell again and rolled his eyes, “I’m coming!” He raised his voice the best he could. “Y'know, Amber,” TJ started as he unlocked the door, “You really need to stop losing your key, mom is gonna ki-” He stopped himself mid-sentence when he made eye contact with the last person he expected. “Cyrus!” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, “What’re you doing here?” TJ quickly ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to look somewhat presentable.When Cyrus’ face landed on TJ his expression immediately flooded with worry. “TJ! You look terrible!” TJ scoffed and held a hand to his heart pretending to be offended. “You know what I mean!” Cyrus grinned, lightly shoving TJ. TJ smiled and tried to let out a small chuckle, but instead went into a fit of coughing into his arm. Cyrus took a small step closer, watching with concern. TJ finally stopped coughing, “Sorry. Yeah, I’m fine.” he cleared his throat, “I’m probably contagious, I don’t want you to get sick.” Cyrus rolled his eyes, stepping inside. “I’ll be fine.” TJ grinned and they made their way to the kitchen. Cyrus took a deep breath before speaking, “So! I was going to give these to you at school, but, y'know…” Cyrus smiled sympathetically and TJ nodded, raising an eyebrow curiously. Cyrus set his backpack on the kitchen counter.He opens his backpack, revealing the container of muffins. He held the container out in front of TJ, “Blueberry Macadamia muffins!” Cyrus exclaims proudly.TJ’s jaw drops slightly as he scoffed in disbelief, “Cyrus, you made these?!” He smiled, taking the container. Cyrus nodded. “Thanks, Underdog. You really didn’t have to.”Cyrus zipped his backpack, “I hope they taste okay. I’m not the best cook.” He admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.TJ shook his head, “I’m sure they’re great, Underdog. In fact,” He paused, setting the container on the counter, opening it and taking a couple muffins out, “I think I’ll have one now!" TJ tossed a muffin to Cyrus and took another one for himself. Surprisingly, Cyrus caught it. They both take a bite and Cyrus immediately spits it out in the trash. "These are horrible!! I am so sorry TJ, oh my god.” Cyrus rambles some more while he throws away the muffin he had in his hand and grabs the container, but TJ grabs Cyrus’ wrist gently to stop him.A light pink tint appeared on Cyrus’ cheeks and he hoped TJ didn’t notice. “What are you talking about, Cyrus?? These taste great!”Cyrus looked at TJ as if he lost his mind, “You must be really sick if you think they taste good.” He laughed, “No way I’m letting you eat this garbage!” TJ rolled his eyes and took the container, “You’re just being hard on yourself! No way I’m letting you take these perfectly fine muffins!!” “Teej!” Cyrus whined while laughing as he reached a hand out for the container but TJ playfully swat his hand away.“Nope!” TJ laughed, raising the container high above his head, just out of Cyrus’ reach.Cyrus crossed his arms playfully and pouted, “Okay, okay, we get it. You’re tall!” He leaned against the island behind him, giving up.TJ did his signature pout at Cyrus, “Aww, it’s okay, Underdog. You’ll be tall like me one day.”Cyrus scoffed, “Shut up!” he said, playfully shoving him. TJ laughs, shaking his head at Cyrus.TJ set the container on the island, “Thanks for bringing the muffins, Cy. I really do appreciate it. You really didn’t have to.” Cyrus looked up at TJ, “Oh, It was nothing.” he lied. It was something. Cyrus really liked TJ, but he didn’t want to tell him and take a chance in ruining their friendship just because he crushed on another straight boy. “I’m glad you like them. Even though I can’t understand how. They taste horrible.”There was a moment of silence as TJ thought, “Maybe you could make them again when I’m not sick?” TJ suggested. “Actually, we could make them together. That way if they don’t turn out great, we can feel bad together.” He laughed.Cyrus thought for a moment, “Actually, that sounds great! If you want, we could make it a sleepover at my place. Ooh, we could make a blanket fort and watch movies!” He said, sounding more enthusiastic than he intended.“It’s a date.” TJ smiled, mentally cursing at himself after realizing what he said but kept a chill expression the best he could. Cyrus looked clearly caught off guard for a moment. “Yeah.” Cyrus smiled softly. They stood there in silence, staring at each other for a moment. That is, until TJ cleared his throat and they both looked away, blushing like mad.Cyrus looked outside, noticing the sun was setting and it would be getting dark soon. “I should get home. I told my mom I’d be home to help her with dinner.” TJ nodded and they made their way to the front door. TJ opened it and Cyrus stepped out on the porch.“Thanks again for the muffins, Cy.”Cyrus smiled, “No problem.” He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around TJ. A blush crept up TJ’s neck and he hugged Cyrus.“Feel better, Teej.” Cyrus said as he let go and made his way down the porch steps. TJ waved, “I will. See ya, Underdog.” He closed the door and locked it, turning on his heel. He jumped when he saw Amber standing behind him with her arms crossed, paired with a knowing smile. “You’ve got it bad, bro.” She said as she shook her head.“When did you get here?!” “Does that really matter right now? You totally like Cyrus!” TJ rolled his eyes and flipped her off. She laughed, “Back at you!” He grinned and made his way upstairs to his room. He plopped down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. She was right. He did have it bad.

________________aaand that’s the end! yEet

Notes:I hope this was good!! This is the first fic I’ve written skjslds Should I post this on AO3?

#tyrus #andi mack #cyrus goodman #tj kippen

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tozierswheelers · 7 years ago

Text

being the elder henderson sibling [headcanon]

Requested?: Yee my dudes. Anon: “I absolutely loved your Wheeler and Byers middle child imagine! can you make one for Dustin’s older sister? Love your blog btw “ (idk who you are but i’m glad you enjoy my blog <3)

Pairing: Dustin Henderson x reader (platonic, family), Steve Harrington x reader (romantic oops)

((btw guys if you’re getting annoyed at all of these turning out as romantic Steve things, pls let me know))

((once again, season 2 below the cut))

you were Claudia Henderson’s pride and joy

well you were, until Dustin was born

but you couldn’t complain

Dusty was your pride and joy as well

you were always so supportive of him

((especially whenever him and the rest of the party won the annual science fair))

you would always help Mr. Clarke with the AV club

the fact that you were always around meant that you were always the one constant in the Party’s lives.

they loved you

((you were the og group mom))

no matter how cool you were to The Party, you were unapproachable at school

you thought it was because you were a certified Loser™

in reality, it was because you intimidated everybody

you were so pretty and kind and smart that people saw you as unapproachable.

well, everybody except your closest friend

((aka Jonathan Byers))

you always had your nose stuck in a new book, oblivious to the awestruck glances aimed at you.

Jonathan would always snort at the glances you’d get from half of the basketball team ((yes, including Steve Harrington [pre-Nancy]))

when Will went missing, you swear you felt your heart break

but you didn’t cry because Dustin was distraught and he needed someone to comfort him.

in fact, you comforted all of The Party, Jonathan, and Joyce.

you caught Dustin sneaking out of the house to go look for Will one night

instead of ratting him out to your mom, you went along because “there’s no way I’m leaving a dumbass like you all alone in the woods.”

The Party was relieved to have you tagging along

you made them feel safe.

you’re skeptical about Eleven at first, and take Lucas’s side for a while.

soon, you begin to see that the young girl can actually be a highly useful asset.

the next day, you find yourself being extremely surprised.

when you hear that Barb is missing, you’re pretty rattled.

first Will, now Barb.

what was happening?

after school, you find your way to the parking lot

you see Steve and his little crowd mocking Jonathan

you approach them right as they break him camera.

pissed off, you begin shouting obscenities at them, shocking everyone.

sweet, beautiful, caring (Y/N) Henderson knew how to curse?

when Carol starts making remarks about Jonathan, you lunge at her.

Tommy intervenes and before you know it, his fist has met your face.

everyone stops.

they all stare at you

you simply crack your neck and deliver an equally devastating blow to Tommy’s face.

((at this point, Steve is feeling guilty because he just knows he’s fallen in love with you but Nancy is still in the picture))

but damn can you take a punch

Tommy is on the ground, in pain, and you simply grab Jonathan’s hand and threaten the little group.

your foot hovers over Tommy’s crotch before you speak.

“if you ever pull a little stunt like that again, you can say goodbye to any future children you were planning on having,Tommy. you too, Harrington.”

Steve simply stares at you and Jonathan groans because he knows what that look means.

he’s seen it too many times on his brother’s face and on the faces of half the school’s basketball team.

Steve. Is. Absolutely. Smitten.

eventually you find out about Will’s body being found.

you reluctantly head home to be with Dustin...

...who sends you right back to the Byers residence, insisting that Jonathan needs you more than he does.

although hesitant, you listen to your little brother and spend the night with Jon.

you help calm Joyce down when they have to go identify the body.

you eventually tag along with Nancy and Jonathan when they go looking for the monster.

you notice Nancy is missing and follow her into the Upside Down.

when the monster chases you, you make sure she goes back through the tree first.

you barely make it through, the Demogorgon clamping onto your leg and leaving you injured.

you refuse to go to the hospital, and Nancy proceeds to patch you up.

when you go to the store to buy your weapons, you’re the one who sees the movie matinee first.

you try to keep Nancy away from it, but she sees it anyways.

when she runs off, you grab Jonathan’s hand and tug him along.

“oh look, Nancy the slut and the creepy couple”

“shut up Carol. just because Tommy is the only one who wants to fuck you doesn’t mean you have to be bitter all the time.”

Tommy takes a step towards you but stops once you arch an eyebrow.

Steve looks at your hand in Jonathan’s and starts talking shit.

“really Nance? you had to go after Byers? I bet you, him, and Henderson there had a lot of fun together eh?”

you’re the first one who swings and although Tommy is urging Steve to fight back, he knows that he can’t hit you.

so he hits Jonathan instead.

you wind up at the police station

where you eventually spill the whole story to Hopper and Joyce, showing them your wound as proof.

when you contact The Party, you’re the one who has to speak to them

you’re the only one that they truly trust.

you don’t want to leave them but Nancy insists that she and Jonathan need your help.

Jonathan is your best friend and although you don’t know Nancy that well, she is a sweet girl.

so you agree and go with them.

when Steve arrives, you’re the one who opens the door and tries to keep him out.

eventually, the Demogorgan arrives and you have to keep it away from Steve, who is unarmed.

when he helps you fight back, you realize that maybe (just maybe) he isn’t a self-centered, big-haired douchebag.

fast-forward to the end of the fight

everyone is safe, except El.

although you’re sad that she’s gone, you know it’s nothing compared to what Mike is feeling.

when Will awakens, you’re right by his side

along with the rest of The Party.

and when Jonathan sees the way Will looks at you, with that dazed, dreamy look,

he knows that things might turn out okay.

you hug Dustin tightly and tell him how much you love him

Dustin whispers the same things back to you before pushing you off and rubbing his neck in embarrassment

the rest of the evening is spent in comfort as you all realize that you still have each other.

things slowly go back to how they were

you’re still the mom of the group

you and Jonathan are still as close as ever, especially with Nancy becoming closer to you as well.

unbeknownst to you, Nancy and Steve are having problems because Nancy is too focused on Jon and Steve is too focused on you.

you inevitably meet new kid Billy Hargrove and his charming kid stepsister Max ((who you take an instant liking to))

you met them in the parking lot on Halloween, where Billy asked you to go to Tina’s party with him and you “agreed”

((you said “sure, I’ll see you there” but the wink you gave Max showed that you had no intention of ever showing up))

you choose to supervise The Party instead, and even dress up as a Ghostbuster with them.

((they are beyond excited about that))

when Max surprises them and sees you, she immediately starts laughing

she explains to The Party that you just stood her dick of a stepbrother up on Halloween.

((Dustin is super proud of you bc he’s heard so much shit about Billy))

anyways,

you don’t know it, but Mike and the rest of The Party are keeping Will’s visions a secret from you because they don’t want you to worry.

you know something is going on but you think it’s just normal teenage boy stuff

so what if they’re keeping secrets. they can’t tell you everything, ya feel?

after trick or treating, you and Dustin walk home

and find a lil thingy in the trash can.

you and Dustin are both intrigued by this...thing.

so you keep it

and name it Dart.

and then it all goes to shit

I mean, first it escapes at the emergency AV Club meeting

next thing you know, Will is infected by that shadow monster.

you’re pissed off at the kids for not telling you what was happening with Will

like you yell at them

y e l l

they had never seen you so upset and The Party felt so guilty that they had caused this.

you give The Party the silent treatment until Dustin runs up to you in a panic, telling you about how Mews is dead.

you sigh and roll your eyes because “dammit Dustin I really can’t leave you alone because you always mess things up.”

Dustin grins because he can see you fighting a smile and he knows that you’re not upset with him anymore.

“alright (Y/N), we’re gonna go over to Mike’s house because none of those sons of bitches are answering and we really need their help.”

you reluctantly hop onto Dustin’s bike and make your way over to Mike’s house

you run into Steve there, a bundle of roses in his hands.

“(Y/N)? what are you doing here?”

“i’m looking for Mike. or Nancy. but they’re not here so we’re leaving.”

you’re tone is pretty rude and Steve is pretty shocked.

you grab Dustin’s hand and begin to walk off but he stops you.

“wait. he fought the Demogorgon with you last year didn’t he?”

you sigh and nod your head.

“then he can help us.”

Steve agrees to help because he wants to win you over

you find yourself going down into the cellar first, holding a crowbar and getting ready to defend yourself against Dart.

Steve almost has a heart attack and races after you.

you propose the idea to lure Dart to the junkyard with raw meat.

when walking towards the junkyard, you trail slightly behind the two boys, snorting whenever Steve gives Dusty advice.

“what? you got better advice Henderson?”

“yeah. Dusty, do exactly the opposite of what he says. his advice is bullshit. i’m not sure how he ever got Nancy to agree to go out with him.”

Steve frowns at your words before speaking. “Nance and I aren’t together anymore”

you look at him, eyes wide in apology.

Steve stares right as you before continuing,

“turns out, we were way too focused on other people.”

you look down awkwardly, an unwelcomed blush painting your cheeks

Dustin simply grins widely as he looks between the two of you, causing Steve to scoff and ruffle his hair.

at the junkyard, you and Max do most of the work

Dustin and Lucas are too busy chatting and Steve is too busy admiring you.

while waiting for the demodogs, you find yourself sitting next to Steve, head thrown back against the wall of the bus and humming a song under your breath.

you only stop when you hear Steve chuckle breathlessly

“are you humming AC/DC, Henderson?”

you blush and nod your head

“never took you as that kind of girl.”

“what kind of girl did you take me for Harrington?”

Steve stares at you for a moment before looking away, distracted by Lucas shouting.

“they’re here!”

when Steve goes outside, you feel kind of guilty

you know you should be helping him but you want to keep the kids safe.

you fight off the demodogs that try to attack the inside of the bus.

after making sure no one is hurt too badly, you lead everyone to Hawkins Lab, following the mini demogorgons.

back at the Byers house, Joyce has you stay with her, Hopper, and Mike when talking to Will.

she knows that he’ll feel safer with you there as well.

since you’re the designated babysitter, you stay with the kids

they quickly become restless and so do you

when Mike begins to talk about his plan, you can’t help but agree with him

after Steve disagrees, they all turn to you.

“hey you dipshits, why aren’t you listening to me?”

“(Y/N) is the leader. she’s our babysitter, not you Harrington. we listen to her.”

you smirk at Steve.

“that’s right. i’m in charge. and I say we go.”

the kids all cheer and start to gather up whatever they need.

Steve narrows his eyes and glares at you.

“it’s on Henderson. I’m gonna be the best damn babysitter these kids have ever had.”

“dream on Harrington.”

you and Steve are now in competition to see who is the Best Mom™

Steve is super upset bc you’re making him flustered just by looking at him.

Dustin walks back into the room during your intense stare off

“goddammit guys. we can feel the sexual tension all the way from the back of the house!”

when Billy arrives, you step in front of Max and Lucas

Billy ends up cornering you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“y��know princess, what you did to me at Halloween wasn’t very nice.”

Steve is by the door, ready to attack the mullet-headed dick

you totally save yourself though, pulling his mullet and kicking him until he lets you go.

when Billy tries to lunge at you, Steve steps in

“don’t you dare lay a hand on my girlfriend Hargrove.”

you pretend not to hear the kids cheering at his words.

even though Steve gets his ass kicked, you’re still grateful.

in the tunnels, you make sure that Dustin is by your side the whole time.

except when Mike is caught

that’s when you separate yourself and help Mike get free

you and Steve make sure that the kids get up first

when you see the demodogs running at you, you yelp

Steve follows your gaze and grabs your hands.

“listen Henderson. if we’re about to die, there’s something I've always wanted to do.”

you glance at the demodogs hesitantly, before turning back to Steve.

“you might wanna hurry up then Harrington.”

Steve immediately presses his lips to yours.

and you’re kissing

as all the demodogs run around you.

you pull away awkwardly

but you can’t deny that it was the best kiss you’ve ever had

((not that you’d ever admit it))

once you exit the tunnel, you’re met with the smug faces of The Party.

“well, i’m glad you got that out of the way.”

“shut up Dusty.”

you avoid Steve afterwards, too stubborn to admit that maybe you have a crush on him.

Nancy and Jonathan try to get you to talk to him

“c’mon (Y/N). he really likes you!”

“you guys were together???”

“well yeah, but he always liked you and I always liked Jonathan.”

you notice him spending more time with Dustin and it warms your heart.

Dustin definitely brings him up in random conversations you two have.

“hey (Y/N), this pasta is great. you know who else likes pasta? STEVE!”

“hey have you seen my walkie-talkie? by the way, STEVE IS DOING PRETTY WELL TODAY!”

eventually, Dustin asks you to help him get ready for the Snow Ball.

((you definitely laughed when he told you that Steve told him to use the Farrah Fawcett Hairspray)).

he also begs you to go drop him off with Steve.

when Steve first sees you, it’s awkward as hell.

but you just brush past him and into the car

when he gives Dustin advice, you roll your eyes and lean forwards.

“don’t listen to him Dusty.”

you kiss his cheek and he smiles before getting out of the car.

“alright, have fun you two. but not too much fun.”

“Dusty what are you-”

Dustin points to the roof of the car smugly

hanging from the car’s roof is a sprig of mistletoe

((where did this dipshit get mistletoe??))

you and Dustin have a mini stare-off before you groan and turn around, taking Steve by surprise and kissing him harshly.

“wow”

“you got that right Harrington,” you grumble.

“does this mean you like me Henderson?”

“don’t push it dumbass.”

Steve chuckles before turning serious.

“I really do like you Henderson.”

a pause. then...

“i know.”

“did you just Han Solo me?”

“yes but i like you too so shh.”

Steve Harrington might have been a douchebag but he cleaned up his act.

The Party was super happy that you were together now

especially Dustin.

((you were still the favorite babysitter though))

(((shh don’t tell Steve)))

Tags: @delicrieux, @broken-pieces, @toekeery, @stanleyurisalive, @tapetayloe, @thekidsofneibolt ((if you wanna be tagged, let me know))

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